#there is one (1) warlock and one (1) monk in the party and that further emphasizes how they stand apart from the party

[thisisnotthenerd]

guess who's back! that's right, it's another edition of thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats. this time we're talking level progression.

a few disclaimers: this is only inclusive of initial and final levels. i may go through each season to find the exact points of change and the full progression at some point, but not right now. i don't have the time for that. this is already incredibly long with just initial and final levels. anyways:

level progressions

these are sorted into a couple of categories: major level progressions, minor level progressions, nonprogression seasons, and nonleveled seasons (which basically just means they are non dnd seasons).

to start we have:

major level progression seasons

this includes most of the intrepid heroes' seasons, plus a couple of sidequests that had or are in the process of having major level changes. major level changes means the party levels up two or more levels during the season. without further ado:

fantasy high freshman year: this season had a fairly standard progression; everyone starting from level one, milestone leveling with each battle until they hit level 8 for the finale.

fig faeth:

initial level: bard 1

final level: whispers bard 8

gorgug thistlespring:

initial level: barbarian 1

final level: berserker barbarian 1

adaine abernant:

initial level: wizard 1

final level: divination wizard 8

fabian seacaster:

initial level: fighter 1

final level: champion fighter 8

kristen applebees:

initial level: life cleric 1

final level: life cleric 8

riz gukgak:

initial level: rogue 1

final level: inquisitive rogue 8

the unsleeping city: this season follows a similar progression to fantasy high--the characters just start at level 3 instead of level 1. this let them start with subclasses and a more features that let them swing harder in battle earlier.

ricky matsui:

initial level: devotion paladin 3

final level: devotion paladin 10

sofia lee:

initial level: drunken master monk 3

final level: drunken master monk 8 | hexblade warlock 2

kingston brown:

initial level: city cleric 3

final level: city cleric 10

misty moore/rowan berry:

initial level: lore bard 3

final level: lore bard 10

kugrash:

initial level: shepherd druid 3

final level: shepherd druid 10

pete conlan:

initial level: wild magic sorcerer 3

final level: wild magic sorcerer 10

a crown of candy: this season was a little different because of the initial party composition--the adults started at level 3, while liam and the twins started at levels 2 and 1 respectively. the entry points of cumulous and saccharina obviously affected their starting levels, since they had to match the party at the point of entry. there was also more multiclassing and subclass switches for story reasons this season. just a bit more complexity as d20 itself got more complex.

liam wilhelmina: the most effective subclass switch i think ever. he became a war guy.

initial level: ranger 2 (took beastmaster after 1st battle)

final level: gloomstalker ranger 6 | assassin rogue 4

theobald gumbar:

initial level: eldritch knight 3

final level: eldritch knight 10

jet rocks: she started in rogue with martial adept to match ruby, multiclassed into fighter and dropped her rogue level before she died.

initial level: rogue 1

final level: battlemaster fighter 7

ruby rocks:

initial level: rogue 1

final level: arcane trickster rogue 9 | shadow sorcerer 1

amethar rocks:

initial level: storm herald barbarian 3

final level: storm herald barbarian 5 | battlemaster fighter 5

lapin cadbury:

initial level: celestial warlock 3

final level: celestial warlock 5

cumulous rocks: came in as a cloud, cried over magic, killed chickens for temp hp

initial level: long death monk 6

final level: long death monk 10

saccharina frostwhip: a powerful queen

initial level: storm sorcerer 6 | tempest cleric 2

final level: storm sorcerer 8 | tempest cleric 2

the unsleeping city chapter 2: only a couple of subclass switches this season, but more new characters that played in the multiclass space.

ricky matsui:

initial level: redemption paladin 12

final level: redemption paladin 10

sofia lee:

initial level: shadow monk 8 | hexblade warlock 2

final level: shadow monk 10 | hexblade warlock 2

kingston brown:

initial level: city cleric 10

final level: city cleric 12

iga lisowski: she comes in statted with the party, but it tracks because she's been the steward of a magic Polish dragon box for decades.

initial level: genie warlock 10

final level: genie warlock 10 | draconic sorcerer 2

rowan berry: she comes in late and so only really has the opportunity to start at level 12

initial level: lore bard 12

final level: lore bard 12

cody walsh: can you imagine your intro to magic being selling your soul to a lesser devil and instantly jumping to level 10. he's so bad at everything that it balances. the athletics checks? insane. absolute loser of a mall goth sword guy. a time capsule of the year 2003.

initial level: oathbreaker paladin 10

final level: oathbreaker paladin 12

pete conlan:

initial level: wild magic sorcerer 10

final level: wild magic sorcerer 12

a starstruck odyssey: this season isn't precisely DND and so works a little differently. the party started with level differences: all nonhumans started at level 3, the humans started at level 2, and gunnie was level 1. i think this was indicative of the fact that a) takamori leveled up by getting brain slugged, b) margaret leveled up by undergoing a quarter-life crisis, and c) gunnie probably joined the ship more recently. they also have ship deployments that they take levels in to be able to competently run a ship. deployments are indicated in [brackets] like so.

gunnie miggles-rashbax:

initial level: engineer 1 [mechanic 1]

final level: engineer 6 [mechanic 3]

riva:

initial level: suggestion consular 3 [coordinator 1]

final level: suggestion consular 6 [coordinator 3]

norman 'skip' takamori

initial level: operative 2 [pilot 1]

final level: lethality operative 6 [pilot 3]

margaret encino:

initial level: scholar 2 [operator 1]

final level: politician pursuit scholar 6 [operator 3]

sundry sidney:

initial level: corsair sentinel 3 [gunner 1]

final level: corsair sentinel 6 [gunner 3]

big barry syx:

initial level: ballistic berserker 3 [gunner 1]

final level: ballistic berserker 6 [gunner 3]

neverafter: this season marks the first level 1 party since fantasy high, and also follows a similar level progression pattern. however, they got episode 3'd, and so skipped levels 2 & 3. they woke up with subclasses. the baba yaga also helped them skip from level 6 to level 8 iirc.

rosamund du prix

initial level: ranger 1

final level: swarmkeeper ranger 5 | stars druid 2 | fighter 1

mother timothy goose:

initial level: bard 1

final level: lore bard 8

pinocchio:

initial level: archfey warlock 1

final level: destiny (homebrew) warlock 8

puss in boots (pib):

initial level: rogue 1

final level: mastermind rogue 8

gerard of greenleigh:

initial level: fighter 1

final level: battlemaster fighter 8

ylfa snorgelsson:

initial level: barbarian 1

final level: bear totem barbarian 6 | moon druid 2

the ravening war: here's where the distinction between 'leveled up two or more times' and leveled up two or more levels' has to be made. technically there's really only one major change during the season, but they go from level 4-5 to level 9, so it's counted as a significant jump.

delissandro katzon: this is the second time lou wilson has played a fighter barbarian in calorum. truly i would have two nickels. also the second time he's played a champion fighter that switched to battlemaster and multiclassed. really starting to collect nickels here.

initial level: champion fighter 5

final level: battlemaster fighter 8 | barbarian 1

raphaniel charlock: i don't feel like tracking his titles. also he has so many feats. dear god.

initial level: eloquence bard 4 | rogue 1

final level: eloquence bard 6 | rogue 3

karna solara: the third triple multiclass in d20 history. the only characters that i can think of that are of equivalent assassin vibes are liam, gangie, and skip.

initial level: whispers bard 3 | great old one warlock 2

final level: phantom rogue 4 | whispers bard 3 | great old one warlock 2

colin provolone: oh what a guy. a traditional mercenary if you ever saw one

initial level: battlemaster fighter 3 | rogue 2

final level: battlemaster fighter 6 | swashbuckler rogue 3

lady amangeaux epiceé du peche: she starts lower level than the rest of the party because she's more naive and less prepared for the intrigue and assassination plots. she's the only to not multiclass in this season. the only one.

initial level: arcane trickster rogue 4

final level: arcane trickster rogue 9

burrow's end: i know that it's the ongoing season, but evidenced by the fact that they double leveled up in episode 2, i have a feeling this is going to be a major leveling season. i'm anticipating level 10 as a stopping point, but who knows where they go from here.

tula: stoat mom as a feat is all i'm going to say

initial level: redemption paladin 4

final level: ?

jaysohn: adhd karate boy, or all stoats in a nutshell

initial level: astral self monk 4

final level: ?

viola: the embryonic diapause storyline is going to kill me, i can feel it.

initial level: devotion paladin 4

final level: ?

thorn vale: anxious wife guy cult leader is something i didn't know i needed until now, but i'm so glad that that's where jasper went with him.

initial level: fey wanderer ranger 4

final level: ?

ava: if generational trauma was a stoat. the commitment to the werther's? phenomenal.

initial level: ancestral guardians barbarian 3 | fighter

final level: ?

lila: i'm living for izzy as a stoat that can sneak attack people and read???

initial level: inquisitive rogue 4

final level: ?

and that's all of the major progression seasons. with that concluded, we move into:

minor level progression seasons

as stated earlier, these seasons really only have one major level change as opposed to the progressive milestones of the major leveling seasons. i think that comes down to a couple of things: 1) they all start as midlevel characters who are reasonably powerful 2) two of these are 10 episode seasons that had less time to do progressive leveling than most of the intrepid heroes' seasons, and 3) the timeline of the level ups really only makes sense for one level change, especially since they start out of the low levels that shift easily. fhfy is like a week and a half in universe, t7 and acofaf are each like a week. anyways, here it is:

fantasy high sophomore year: mostly carried over from fhfy to start, with one major level but we really got into multiclassing and subclass switches for story here, i think in part because running live sessions is inherently a little more spontaneous than a pre-recorded season.

fig faeth:

initial level: whispers bard 6 | hexblade warlock 2

final level: lore bard 6 | hexblade warlock 3

gorgug thistlespring:

initial level: berserker barbarian 8

final level: berserker barbarian 8 | artificer 1

adaine abernant:

initial level: divination wizard 8

final level: divination wizard 9

fabian seacaster:

initial level: champion fighter 8

final level: battlemaster fighter 6 | swords bard 3

kristen applebees:

initial level: life cleric 8

final level: twilight cleric 9

riz gukgak:

initial level: inquisitive rogue 8

final level: inquisitive rogue 9

the seven: the ladies are here! they start at the level 9 baseline set by the end of fhsy and hit level 10 in like a week. granted the second half of the season is almost all encounters--three double episode battles total, with two in the back half.

antiope jones: the reluctant leader, not that kind of ranger. a choice aabria character. sometimes i think about the fact that both of aabria's spyre characters could conceivably meet, and it's not even that contrived. myrtle is sam's cousin.

initial level: arcane archer fighter 6 | monster slayer ranger 3

final level: arcane archer fighter 6 | monster slayer ranger 4

katja cleaver: half horse girl, half childhood neglect and abandonment, half rekha shankar's brand of ttrpg decisions.

initial level: battlemaster fighter 9

final level: battlemaster fighter 9 | barbarian 1

penny luckstone: eldest daughter syndrome to the max. deeply funny. an incredible rogue, even if she feeds old men horse meat candy hearts.

initial level: arcane trickster rogue 9

final level: arcane trickster rogue 10

danielle barkstock: actually erika ishii's second shepherd druid. they really like summoning geese, spiders, pixies, and various creatures that can absolutely ruin brennan's day. with a side of no self-care.

initial level: shepherd druid 9

final level: shepherd druid 10

ostentatia wallace: she lives up to the name. the forge cleric i want to be when i grow up.

initial level: forge cleric 9

final level: forge cleric 10

sam nightingale: a masterwork in character building, from a mechanical and story standpoint. i love the use of eldritch adept to maintain the build and keep with the story during their level up.

initial level: storm sorcerer 6 | glamour bard 3

final level: storm sorcerer 6 | glamour bard 4

zelda donovan: my girl! the other fighter barb of the group, but built in the opposite direction. also 55 movement speed? by god she can hustle.

initial level: eagle totem barbarian 8 | fighter 1

final level: eagle totem barbarian 8 | fighter 2

a court of fey and flowers: this season starts in a similar place to the seven with midlevel characters and levels up mostly for story reasons. it's a little more important to track reputation by episode, but i don't have the time for that at the moment.

andhera: hot, but built mid according to omar. an ace he/they king. never actually levels up, probably because they avoid conflict by beign a slippery pillar boy in wet cotton pants.

initial level: devotion paladin 8

final level: devotion paladin 8

k.p. hob: triple multiclass, builds on brennan's theme of self-sacrificial characters who don't think love can find them.

initial level: battlemaster fighter 6 | rogue 1 | barbarian 1

final level: battlemaster fighter 6 | rogue 2 | barbarian 1

lady chirp featherfowl: an assassin wizard with bird puns, a wife and daughter, and no regard for her reputation.

initial level: bladesinger wizard 8

final level: bladesinger wizard 9

lord squak airavis: the sluttiest bird you'll ever meet. the author of the green hunter. they got renner.

initial level: lore bard 8

final level: lore bard 9

delloso de la rue: made me cry when i watched them come out. the outfits. the pizzazz. the 'i love him'. the miscommunications. an icon. doesn't use subclass features, so we'll never know.

initial level: bard 8

final level: bard 9

binx choppley: another fantastic reveal. a single mom who works two jobs, but she's a warlock patron and trying to revive her dead court while masquerading as her friend while said friend dates her warlock on the material plane. truly who is doing it like them.

initial level: arcane trickster rogue 8

final level: arcane trickster rogue 9

now that we're through with the minor progression seasons, let's look at the single-level seasons.

nonprogression seasons

there's variance in these--there's not really a consistent start level. they go low level when they need to and high level when they need to. the lack of progression here also indicates timeline and season length: most of these are 4-6 episodes, and all of these seasons happen over the span of about a day or two in-game.

escape from the bloodkeep: d20's highest level season to date. unbelievable shenanigans, deeply funny. it's also fun for me to note that d20 and cr both have their morally dubious seasons that start and end at level 14 (eftbk and exu calamity) but they end up in literal opposite ends of the comedy/tragedy scale.

maggie (magfelda):

level: berserker barbarian 14

leiland (kraz-thun):

level: hexblade warlock 14

efink murderdeath:

level: grave cleric 14

sokhbarr:

level: beastmaster ranger 14

lilith:

level: shepherd druid 14

markus st. vincent

level: swashbuckler rogue 14

tiny heist:

rick diggins: the most charisma rogue i think you can get. negative dex and strength? grifter

level: mastermind rogue 4

boomer coleoptera: his subclass is unknown--it's never really mentioned during the season. it's theorized that he may be a battlemaster. the muscle

level: fighter 4

agnes: she also doesn't use any subclass specific features during the season. the other grifter

level: bard 4

ti-83: what a little fount of violence. the techie/explosive specialist

level: artillerist artificer 4

bean: the grease with a bone to pick

level: shadow monk 4

car-go jones: the mastermind, even though he's not a mastermind rogue. the danny ocean.

level: inquisitive rogue 4

pirates of leviathan: this entire season happens pretty much in the course of 24 hours. a good chunk of that time is just spent having a spa night at the gold gardens. who is doing it like them. everyone in this party can do magic.

sunny biscotto:

level: devotion paladin 5

bob (barbarella sarsaparilla gainglynn):

level: lore bard 3 | city cleric 2

cheese:

level: necromancy wizard 5

myrtle (the bitch):

level: tempest cleric 5

jack brakkow:

level: ancestral guardians barbarian 5

marcid the typhoon:

level: gloomstalker ranger 5

mice & murder: the oops all rogues season. for a low level season there are some astronomical dcs here. it really does a lot to show off the range of subclasses. all of them have dramatically different abilities, when they're not competing.

gangie green:

level: thief rogue 3

buckster $ boyd:

level: mastermind rogue 3

daisy d'umpstaire:

level: assassin rogue 3

vicar ian prescott:

level: eloquence bard 3

lars vandenchomp:

level: battlemaster fighter 3

sylvester cross:

level: inquisitive rogue 3

coffin run: this season is actually another one with mixed leveling--maybe to indicate time spent with dracula, maybe to level out powers on from a spellcasting level

aleksandr astrovsky:

level: alchemist artificer 7

squing:

level: undead warlock 8

wetzel:

level: mastermind rogue 7

may wong:

level: shadow sorcerer 6

dungeons and drag queens: i'm fairly sure they filmed this season in one shot. a great intro to dnd and the mechanics of level 5 characters.

troyánn:

level: arcane archer fighter 5

princess foehammer:

level: berserker barbarian 5

gertrude:

level: shadow sorcerer 5

twyla:

level: gloomstalker ranger 5

fantasy high oneshots: this is just the one-off characters from the fh oneshots. both of these characters show up in between freshman and sophomore year and so land at level 8.

hargis:

level: brute fighter 8

ficus:

level: dreams druid 8

and last but not least, we have the non-DnD seasons that have no level progressions:

misfits and magic

shriek week

mentopolis

and that's all folks! this one got so long. as always the spreadsheet is open to perusal. i hope you like it!

[cromcrux]

BG3 Brainstorming (spoilers)

So, I love Baldur’s Gate. I have spent so much time in that world. Which, because I cannot just mindlessly enjoy things, means I have been thinking about it and things that make the world feel a little flat or forced to me. So in the interest of releasing these thoughts from my mind!

Things I would change about BG3

First off, I would change some of the companion character’s classes, and when those companions join your group. The first character I would change would actually be Wyll. I love Wyll as a character, but his warlock status feels really forced. It feels a little first draft to me. I think Wyll would have made for a fantastic ranger (and I am further justified by the afterparty confirming this).Alternatively. Wyll could have been a Paladin. This would also give you access to a paladin before Act 2 and an alternative to the (before one of the last updates) much more difficult to recruit Minthara. If his oath had been to Baldur’s Gate or, even more spectacularly, Ansur himself, that would have given the quest beneath Baldur’s Gate so much impact. Overall, I really like Wyll and I wish more had been done with him. If we really weren’t going to kick off his story arc until Act 3, I think that’s when he should join up though. He basically has nothing to do in Act 2, not even character growth because he’s a pretty stable guy, he doesn’t really need to mature or overcome any trauma. He just chills. Maybe wait until his action starts to include him. Either that or give him something to do in the Shadowfell (maybe give him information about Ansur or some other nuggets so he’s not just sidelined storywise).

Next up is Halsin. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a cool character. But he should have been a Nature Cleric rather than a druid. He’s got very ministerial vibes. A Nature Cleric of Silvanus could have still been important to the grove (maybe working with the head druid instead of the head himself) and would have made for an excellent healer. We also get both Jaheira and Halsin as recruitable members at the same time and having two druids doesn’t make for good balance when so many of the other classes are under-represented. 

Jaheira, should join you properly in Act 2. When you leave to go investigate Moonrise, she should be recruitable as a companion. Halsin is still doing his thing in camp and in the version, Wyll is waiting for us at Baldur’s Gate (maybe he’s here helping protect the Tieflings, that would also be cool), and having a druid after seeing what they can do in Act 1 would be good. 

Since we have Wyll filling in as our ranger, Minsc would actually make for a pretty good Monk and give us some experience using a Monk before we have Orpheus in our party (if we choose Lae’zel over the Emperor). I do wish it was a little easier to get Minsc slightly earlier in Act 3. Everything feels very rushed after Orin kidnaps one of your party, but I think that was due to Act 3 getting truncated. 

Astarion: I have seen some complaints that his storyline doesn’t feel like it meshes as much with the main storyline, since aside from hailing from Baldur’s Gate, nothing about his personal storyline is directly connected to the Dead Three or what’s going on there, so here’s my fix: Astarion is the Warlock with Mizora as his patroness. I think it would be a much more interesting dynamic. There is dialogue outside the tabernacle where Astarion remarks how no god ever answered his prayers when Cazador had him, so what if a Devil had? He might trade one master for a mistress if he thought the terms were better. He might still strain against leash, but his own manipulative behavior would prevent him from being overtly hostile towards her. Astaron’s Ascension could then be duly colored: Don’t ascend and risk losing his soul to Mizora forever, or ascend and truly be free? (I do think players should have the opportunity for the same sort of deal Wyll makes to free Astarion from his contract. But if you don’t make that deal or don’t get that choice, it makes Astarion’s argument to ascend look slightly more grey than it is).

Finally, I wish Alfira was a recruitable character. She’s the only actual Bard you run into (I will not be counting Volo as a bard, he’s at best a nuisance to his own editors and publishers), and it might be interesting to have a companion leave you in Act 3, once you make it to the Elfsong, she stops being a companion and instead helps with keeping your reputation or communicating information between you and the various factions you’ve gotten on your side. She could stay in your camp but no longer be playable.

Next would be a change I think would actually be pretty easy to implement: Make the choice to side with the Emperor after learning his true identity an actual choice. If the players choose to side with the Githyanki, allow the Honor Guard to take up protecting the party (with successful dialogue choices and checks), and continue the game mostly as normal. This would even fit with what the Emperor tells you as the inside of the Prism is suppose to block out the absolute  Have the head of the Honor Guard checking in with players instead of the Emperor, maybe being the same imposing presence as Kith’rak Voss. Have the Honor Guard be the ones to save the party from the Absolute. This would also make Orpheus softening up to you in the final scenes make a little more sense, as you did choose the “right” thing. It’s the biggest part of the story that feels railroaded and it seems like such an easy swap.

[khadgarbignaturals]

bg3 beginner companion class advice:

general advice: try multiclassing! it lets u further customize ur builds.

1) shart: respec her. trickery domain is the most dogshit subclass of cleric. i recommend light domain or storm cleric if you want big dmg, and life domain for utility + healing.

2) astarion: arcane trickster is a trap. it sounds cool but it’s pretty niche (best used when u don’t have a lot of ultility on your other party members.) you can’t go too wrong with thief and assassin, but rogue is best with multiclassing. champion fighter + assassin rogue is big crit dmg. thief rogue + open hand monk + 2 lvls of fighter is one of the best builds in the game

3) laezel: stop sleeping on fighter. it’s not as strong on its own but it enhances so many other classes. paladin, barbarian, rogue, and monk are some great examples.

4) karlach: honestly u can’t go wrong with subclasses. a favorite of mine has to be the thrown weapon build with frenzy barb. tavern brawler is a broken ass feat it’s so good.

5) wyll: also can’t go wrong with the subclasses. some fun multiclass builds you can do are sorlock (sorcerer warlock) and lockadin (warlock paladin. note: you will probably have to rely on hill giant elixirs to raise ur strength if ur not speccing into it much)

6) gale: wizard is pretty easy to spec for but there are some fun builds u can do. melee wizard (warlock + wizard) being one. i don’t really play wizard but its a pretty good class as a baseline

also don’t be afraid to try the harder difficulties! they are harder but it makes you figure out strategies for different fights which is super rewarding. legendary actions in honor mode are some of my favorite mechanics in the game

[vagabondfandoms]

More Than A Moment

Falls On Me Part Two

Day Ten: Creche Y’llek- Morning

Rating: Teen

Previous Parts: Falls On Me

Previous Chapters: Chapter One 1/2 , Chapter One 2/2 , Chapter Two

Characters: Gale Dekarios, Lae'zel, Astarion, and F!Tav: Copper

Tags/Warning: Gale's POV, Nondescript mentions of throwing up/being sick. Argument between Gale and Copper aka Lover's Quarrel. Gale gets called a couple of names but he sort of deserves it. Approx: 2600 words

Summary: Gale is in a bad mood from the event that happened last night. In the monastery library he finds an interesting book and then has a fight with Copper.

---

Sleep was elusive last night and Gale found himself being woken up not long after he finally nodded off to sleep. Turning to his side, he refuses to register the other person's presence and burrows himself further into his blankets for comfort. He’s not ready to face the others after yesterday’s incident by the stream. But after a couple of seconds, Gale is then greeted with a rough kick to the side and a grumpy Githyanki glaring down at him.

“Get up istik. My patience is running thin and I already gave you the polite courtesy of being gentle.” Lae’zel growls. “Next time it won't be my boot to your gut.”

“Alright alright!” Gale says moodily, as he throws off his covers and sits up in a hurry. “Good morning to you Lae’zel.” He greets her, looking up at the displeased young woman. “Why am I blessed with your presence so early in the morning?”

“You have slept in and the camp needs sustenance before we head out to seek the zaith'isk,” Lae’zel answers bluntly. 

Gale chooses to rub his temples instead of giving a good glare at the Githyanki warrior. He can feel the irritation deep in his bones from the lack of sleep and being asked to cook when he is in the mood to do nothing. 

“I was under the impression that we needed to camp out here for a couple of days to allow Copper to recover her strength. Can’t somebody else take up the cooking duties for today?”

“Strange, you are usually particular about cooking,” Lae’zel observes. “You are incorrect, however.”  She adds quickly, tapping her foot in impatience. “We are heading out once morning preparations are over. The captain is already awake and started her day a couple of hours ago. You are the one being slow. Lazing around and holding up the party.”

Gale stops mid-stretch and looks up at the news. “Copper's up and ready for travel, already!? She should still be dealing with the effects of the orb attack…”

---

Gale dresses in his traveling clothes and wanders out of his tent. Looking around, several of his companions were up and moving around. Only Astarion and Karlach appeared to be sleeping while everybody else waited for him to start the morning meal. 

Over by Wyll, Gale spots Copper chatting with the young warlock. It gives Gale a pause and he watches intently as the monk instructs Wyll about something with his rapier. 

“Copper was at death’s door yesterday! Why is she up and acting like nothing happened?” Gale questions, stopping himself from walking over and checking on the woman. Instead, he turns towards the campfire, intent on ignoring her.

---

It appears Copper was intent on ignoring him as well. Gale doesn’t know if he should be happy or angry about this fact. He was the one to ask for space. But it was very hard to see Copper acting fine when Gale was tormented all night by the orb attacking her. 

By the time they got to the monastery, Gale was grouchy. His companions picked up on his sour mood and decided to leave him alone to explore the dilapidated library. Hoping the books would fix his attitude while they searched the upper floors for Dawnmaster Vassid’s remains to give back to Burnside and Peran.

Wandering through a library, even one so destroyed like this one, did bring Gale a sense of peace. Books were always a source of comfort for him and he took great pride in how much of an avid reader, even for a wizard, he was. Browsing the dusty and worn shelves, Gale felt a little like his old self. 

“See, there’s nothing wrong with living just for my scholarly pursuits and acclaim.” Gale thinks as something odd catches his eye on the shelf next to him. As he wanders over, Gale sees the telltale sign that somebody tried to put an enchanted lock on a storage nook. 

“Oh, fun! What’s in here? Hopefully, something interesting that somebody deemed important enough to lock up.” Gale gleefully ponders as he easily breaks the spell on the lock with a flick of his wrist. 

What lay inside looked quite disappointing but Gale picked up the soft cover book and flipped through the mismatched pages anyway. He knows he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but he was starting to question why this patched-together book was locked up in the first place. Gale guesses he should just be grateful the tome wasn’t some long-dead monk’s wanking material. Something he has accidentally stumbled upon once or twice in the past.

Just when he is going to give up and go back to perusing the shelves for a more engrossing find, a sentence about the Weave catches his eyes and Gale starts devouring the words. 

He becomes lost in the handwritten pages of a long-dead monk theorizing that through meditation one could connect to the inner meridians of the world bypassing the Weave altogether to manifest magical effects. 

For a wizard, this sort of thought was forbidden. The Weave was Mystra and Mystra was the Weave. You cannot do magic without both. Oh course, Gale knows about raw magic but to use it without Mystra as the conduit was volatile and deadly. 

There's a reason that the Weave is synonymous with magic in Faerun. 

But this book is theorizing a whole new magic system outside of Mystra. The monk claims magic flows through channels much like Ki flows through the body. That magic is the life force of Toril and the Weave only gathers that life force into a net that gets saturated for arcane use. Connecting to the magical channels directly is dangerous for mortals but with practice, a person could become one with the earth’s magic and produce even stronger results than wielding the Weave.

The author Sol Gaspard even went into great detail about acclimating the body to connect to the world’s magical meridians and the results of his experiments. Gale must have been reading the heretical manifesto, for at least 45 minutes before he gets rudely interrupted by Astarion swinging an arm around his shoulders and jostling him around. 

“Hey, what do you have there?” the vampire leers down at the book. “I bet it's more interesting than the pile of rubble we found, looking for a long-dead skeleton.”

“Hey let go!” Gale complains, pulling away from Astarion’s grasp. “It’s nothing you would find interesting.” He quickly stashes the makeshift book into his bag, glaring at the pale man. “Remember you only read for show?”

Astarion scoffs and shakes his head in amusement. “Whatever, I’ll just take a peek at it later. For now, your girlfriend…oops I mean your ex-girlfriend, you know the non-otherworldly one is prepping us for going down into the Githyanki Creche.”

Gale feels the hairs on the back of his neck bristle at the mention of exes.

“Urgh, Copper’s treating us like little kids going on a field trip.” Astarion whines not noticing Gale’s discomfort. “Going over and over again about how we need to be on our best behavior while in the creche.”

“Only a safety leash, like the ones a parent uses for rambunctious toddlers, will keep you out of trouble,” Gale moodily mutters. “I’m pretty sure, Copper will give you some candy or some shiny trinket if you behave yourself.” 

He swings his bag over his shoulder, not caring if he hits the other man or not before he dashes towards the exit before Astarion can retort. The pale elf’s comments about “girlfriends” put Gale back into his horrible mood and he wants to get away from the annoyance as fast as possible. 

Outside the library door, Gale jumps around a corner to hide down a side hallway, hoping Astarion will take the most direct route back to the group. After a minute of waiting in silence, Gale decides he’s safe from vampiric company. He begins to move, strolling at a more leisurely pace, taking the back hallways to the staircase where his team is meeting up.  

Gale is halfway to the staircase when he sees a familiar head of auburn hair, hiding in a shadowy area of the hall. Copper appears to just have lost her lunch and is trembling, leaning into the wall for support. She doesn’t even notice Gale watching her and that fact puts him on edge. Copper is usually very aware of her surroundings but she’s currently not in the right mind frame to be her usual vigilant self.

That fact equally thrills and distresses Gale. He finally got confirmation that Copper was in fact dealing with the aftermath of the orb attack and all of Gale’s worry was worth something. But that also meant Copper was unwell.

Gale knows what it feels like for the orb to feed on you and his sympathetic nature kicks in over his better judgment to keep his distance. He approaches Copper and lays a gentle hand on her back to comfort her as she dry heaves. She flinches from the touch and looks up startled. There is a flash of fear in her eyes that quickly calms but then grows cold. 

“Oh, it’s you.” Copper says apathetically, shrugging off Gale’s hand and stepping a few paces away from him, adjusting herself to make it seem like she wasn’t just puking her guts up. “I wasn’t expecting anybody in this corridor.” 

“I wasn’t expecting to be down this corridor either.” Gale awkwardly chuckles, noting the distance she put between them and scolding himself for the small flare of irritation that smoldered in his chest. “But somebody sent an annoying messenger to bring me back and I decided to take the long way around.”

“Heh, sounds like you. Not afraid to inconvenience anybody.” The monk grumbles nonchalantly but the words set Gale further on edge.

“OHHHH, I’m sorry for being such an inconvenience to you! With my condition and all. I bet it was terribly inconvenient for you to lose all those precious magical items.” Gale bites back. “But remember I NEVER once asked you to heal me! You always approached me, asking to help!” 

“I never met…” Copper quickly retorts, sweat pouring down her face either from being sick or from nerves… “I’m just noting your other…particularities.”

“Like what exactly?” Gale sneers, all his crummy feelings still roiling around under his skin. Making him more agitated, more angry. He never wanted the orb to hurt anybody and now Copper is complaining about him being difficult and needy.

“I don’t think this is the best time…” Copper waffles, her eyes darting around as she tries to back out of the situation. “We should head back to the group.”

“No, this is the perfect time to say what’s on your mind!” Gale interrupts, bullying his way into this conversation, ready for the cut that can end his attachment to this woman. “It seems like you kept some of your opinions hidden from me and I would like to know them before I don’t get any more unexpected surprises.”

Copper gives him a tired glare. Irritation simmering behind her grey eyes but Gale just raises an eyebrow, stubbornly not moving until she finally gives in with a huff. 

“Big-headed. Self-absorbed. know-it-all. Who thinks they know better than everybody else.” She haphazardly lists. “And you’re a little long-winded.”

Gale was prepping himself for more of a fight but Copper’s words gave him a pause. He was expecting more negatives about being weak, a burden, and dependent on others. But the flaws Copper gave were nothing new for him to hear. How many times has a teacher or colleague called him arrogant? And long-winded is just synonymous with Gale.

Copper doesn’t notice she already knocked most of the fight out of Gale as she gets more personal. 

“Why are you even here, Gale?” Copper asks tiredly, the exasperation sinking deep into her words. “You made up “our” mind about needing space but now you are invading mine.” 

Without waiting for a response. Copper tries to shove her way past him but he grabs onto her arm to prevent her from going. 

“Because I know how it feels for the orb to gnaw at your soul,” Gale growls out in frustration.

Even barely holding Copper, he feels how weak she is from the orb attack. He could tell her usual vitality was lacking because, on her best of days, Gale wouldn’t be able to physically keep Copper immobile like this if she had the mind to move. Her skin also felt hot and sweaty to the touch, in a sickly way. Like a fever that hasn’t broken yet.

“You shouldn't be here. You should be back at camp, curled up in your bedrolls waiting for the pain to pass.” Gale says sternly, trying to cover up his concern. 

“You don’t know me…you can’t tell me what to do.” Copper says defiantly as she yanks free from his hold but proceeds to wobble and collide with the wall. She clings to it for support and Gale is annoyed with the antics. It’s like dealing with a child or a very drunk person. Hell even Tara on her off days can be this infuriating.

“Why, are you so stubborn?” He grunts and he pulls Copper upright.

“Gale…let go of me.” Copper whines. “We need to get going. Wither’s said we all have to go otherwise “it” won't work out.”

“It? What is it? Freeing ourselves of the tadpoles?” Gale half yells, struggling to wrangle this woman.

“Withers said we need to be together...but we’re supposed to be apart from each other. That’s what Gale…you said.” Copper was half talking to herself and half to him. Delirious from the fever. 

“I know, I know.” Gale hushes her. “But let’s get you presentable for the others first. You don’t want them to know you are sick, right?” 

Copper gives him a weak hazy glare that confirms his suggestion. 

Gale conjures a small rain cloud to fill the nearby cracked vase as he soaks his handkerchief in the water, dapping the cool cloth on Copper’s heated skin. 

After a few minutes, her heavy breathing starts to slow down as he carefully wipes along her face and neck. Watching the soft rise and fall of her chest. There’s a desire to follow Copper’s neckline downwards and touch the swell of her rosy breasts that are peeking out of her loose robes. But Gale tempers the urge down with irritation. He grumpily sticks to cooling just her face off, half wishing he kept to his principles of staying away from Copper so he wasn’t stuck in this temptation now. 

Trying to back peddle to more practical not horny terms, Gale was about to summon a small wind spell to help break the fever when Copper suddenly grabbed his well-behaving hand.

“That’s enough,” she orders. Staring at him with clear eyes. “We need to get going. The others are waiting.”

Gale pauses and takes in the woman. Her coloring was back to normal and her temperature is definitely down from where it was before. He’s still not pleased with Copper pushing herself but Gale decides not to complain because he’s not one to talk about pushing forward with a monstrous orb still living in his chest. 

With a flick of his wrist, he dispels his charms. “Let’s mosey then.”

Copper is awkward. Unsure what to do with herself after Gale’s tender care. She almost tells him “thank you” but stops herself and frowns. Gale just shakes his head as they quickly settle back into the routine of ignoring each other.

[definitely-not-a-wasp]

The Flock's D&D Classes

(Not what they would play— what they would be played AS. Inspired by that one post along the lines of "Maximum Ride reads similarly to a chaotic D&D game, and the series is much more enjoyable when you imagine it like that". Also, idgaf if the multiclasses don't have good composition. This is for vibes, not for playability.)

Max- Fighter (Champion 5)/Warlock (Great Old One 3): Max begins the series as a cut-and-dry fighter, serving as an offense-heavy tank through power, precision, and practice. Definitely strength-based. The warlock comes in later with The Voice, serving as a unknowable patron that occasionally gives her disturbing visions, one-time powers, and tries to drive her insane throughout the series. Has significantly less levels in warlock than fighter because she keeps trying to get restraining orders on her patron.

Fang- Rogue (Mastermind 7)/Sorcerer (Shadow Magic 1): Rogue is the only acceptable class for me to put Fang in. Stealthy and dexterity-based, able to blend perfectly into shadow, but with the charisma of the mastermind subclass to sway people to his ideas and have a decent eye for trustworthiness. His magic is limited, probably only 1 level that was triggered by his first death, but gives him a further buff to their stealth and lends them strength of the grave, which is helpful, considering that he's died two times and probably qualifies as a glass canon.

Iggy- Artificer (Artillerist 8): Cut and dry, Iggy is an intelligence-based class with a knack for pyrotechnics and area of effect damage, depending on heavier fighters to give him time to set his traps. Outside of combat, he continues being good at tinkering and utility-based skills, including cooking and repairs. Also, I like the thought of his growing perception skills not being an innate ability, but because he keeps experimenting with things (himself being the primary test subject) when Max isn't paying attention. He starts being able to taste colors and makes a note "chemical concoction #37 worked, good 2 know".

Nudge- Monk (Way of the Cobalt Soul 6): Don't come for me about using a CR homebrew class when it fits Nudge so well. While she's a martial class and a fighter at heart, being a monk of the cobalt soul allows her to use touch-based information gathering, like she starts being able to do in NYC, and the proficiency boosts explain her ability to sort through electronic information as effectively as she does.

Gasman- Artificer (Alchemist 4) Bard 2: Gazzy is also an artificer, following in Iggy's steps and able to replicate many of the bombs he makes, but also veers more into chemical warfare as time goes on. His bard skills come in through his mimickry, which he uses for both deception and stealth.

Angel: Sorcerer (Aberrant Mind 2)/Wizard (Enchantment 4): While Angel begins as an aberrant mind sorcerer, which lends itself towards her psychic abilities, she's also sunk a lot of time into honing her abilities to enchant and sway people to her will, even to their own detriment. Unfortunately, she is the ultimate glass canon, because she is not able to handle physical damage and will fold like cheap paper.

Bonus

Ari- Barbarian (Path of the Berserker 6): Ari is entirely fueled by his anger and fights to his own detriment throughout the series. RIP you tragic lil' dogboy.

Total- Angel's animal companion who is actually a man stuck in permanent polymorph.

Conclusion: This party has no healers and only one tank. Godspeed to them and all the shit they get into.

Bonus bonus (AKA: I accept that the LTNW renditions of the flock are fundamentally different characters, and therefore have different D&D classes. These are them.)

Maximum Ride- Barbarian (Path of the Ancestral Guardian 8): Every time Max deals substantial damage in LTNW, it is out of anger, like when Ari called Fang a slur or when Jeb called her his daughter. She is someone who is very angry all the time, and is also someone harboring a lot of grief. Ancestral Guardian Barbarians are tanks designed with protection in mind, and are fueled by their dead family members, showing how Max fights in the forefront specifically to take blows for more vulnerable people, and also fights with Gene and Emergency in mind, because they are the reminders that she is not invincible.

Fang Xue- Rogue (Phantom 8): Fang is STILL a rogue, fighting through dexterity instead of strength and relying on evasion/maneuverability instead of weathering blows. However, they don't put stakes in charisma like their canon counterpart, and therefore don't fit into the mastermind subclass. At this point, they are functionally dead, and their actions are deriving from someone who doesn't believe they have anything left to lose other than their family— therefore, they behave more like a phantom rogue. DEFINITELY qualifies as a glass canon.

Igneous- Paladin (Oath of Vengeance 5)/Artificer (Artillerist 3): Yeah, he's still an artillerist, focusing on traps and bombs, but the bombs are more of a means to an end. Iggy's actions are done out of loyalty and devotion to his family, and he is willing to do anything to ensure that their enemies won't be able to hurt them, regardless of the consequences. His oath is his dedication to the people he loves, and the willingness to leave behind his own morality on their behalf.

Nudge Angelou- Bard (College of Eloquence 7): Sure, Nudge is capable of combat, but where she really shines is in her charisma, swaying people to her side and serving as support during fights, as can be seen in her interactions with strangers and the way she can argue with her siblings and make her point. She's the face of the operation fair and square, and is beginning to realize how important that role is. Hopefully she'll get better at deception.

Gazzy- Rogue (Arcane Trickster 5)/Artificer 1: While Gazzy can certainly help with the bombs and traps Iggy sets and is thrilled to learn more, he's much more hesitant to apply them. He's more skilled and comfortable in trickery and manipulation, using his mimickry to disorient and impersonate, hoping to avoid combat all together or serve as a distraction from a safe distance while the rest of his siblings wreak carnage.

Angel- Sorcerer (Aberrant Mind 5): Where the Angel of canon had a lot of intention and practice in honing her skills, which gave her the wizard multi class, this version of Angel has very little control over her psychic powers, and has a lot more issues of her mind leaking into others in more unexpected and unpleasant ways. She is ALSO a glass canon and can easily be taken down with physical damage or her own seizures.

Bonus:

Ari- Barbarian (Path of the Beserker 4)/Ranger (Hunter 4): Ari is still fueled by rage and fights to his own detriment, he's just also comes with tracking buffs and more longterm planning abilities.

Michael Rivers- Rogue (Inquisitive ???)/Artificer (Maverick ???): While this doesn't fit perfectly because Mike isn't involved in combat, Inquisitive rogues excell at uncovering information whether people want them to or not, and Maverick Artificers are adept in a lot of different skillsets. While he's a purely utility character rather than combat-oriented, he's a helpful person to have around.

Conclusion: They STILL don't have a healer, but at least they have two tanks instead of one.

[thevalleyisjolly]

Been thinking about Lapin and Cumulous (pretty much all the time, let’s be honest), and I think it’s really interesting how both of them, in their own ways, stand at a relational distance from the rest of the party, which has really interesting in-game as well as meta implications. 

Because when A Crown of Candy starts, we have the House Rocks set - Amethar, Ruby, Jet, and slightly further away, Liam (by blood) and Theo (by allegiance and love).  Lapin stands apart as someone whom we know from the beginning has a different allegiance, or at least, follows the orders of another entity.  Which is kind of what we, as an audience, need at that point, because established relationships can be a little hard to break into!  In-game, the characters have these deep bonds with each other, whether by family ties or by loyalty, and while those are fun to watch and speculate on the nature of, it isn’t always the easiest to connect with right at the beginning.  Lapin, apart from being a fascinating character of his own, stands at a similar distance like the audience.  Just as he gradually comes to cast his lot in with the Rocks family and become invested in their well-being, it mirrors our (the audience’s) own journey with coming to know the characters and becoming invested in their story.

(Sometimes I wonder if that isn’t part of Lapin’s meta appeal, that narrative-wise, he doesn’t need to become invested in the party, doesn’t need to care about them.  He’s here because his patron wants him to be here, but there’s nothing that says he must become emotionally involved with them.  And yet, and yet!  One of his last acts in the world -and arguably his most meaningful- is to choose to care about these people, to give up his life for them, and I’m still not over how his last insight, his last roll, realizing that the Bulb cares for no one, contrasts so beautifully with his death - this sly, aloof chancellor with a barbed tongue dies because he chooses to care for someone.  What a powerful ‘found family’ vibe indeed)

(In the same way your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don't, then it doesn't.)

Cumulous also stands apart from the rest of the party in a lot of ways.  Like Liam, he’s a relation of the Rocks, but in an even more distant way, and he makes it explicitly clear to Amethar early on that the Rocks are not his number one priority - Candia’s magic is.  By the time Cumulous comes in, we the audience have become very invested in the story of the Rocks family, and we’ve formed our own bonds with the characters.  So it feels a little strange to have a PC who deliberately aligns himself outside those relationships that we’ve come to love! 

But I think that at that point in the story, that’s kind of what we need.   I would argue that more so than almost every other PC, Cumulous situates the events around the Rocks family as part of a larger context, a larger world.  Jet, Ruby and Liam were still young and relatively sheltered, there was a lot about history and the world that they weren’t familiar with until they needed to be.  Even Amethar and Theo, who lived through that history, had a limited exposure to the wider reach of the Bulbian Church.  Within Castle Candy, the Church is something boring and stuffy and alright, you’re not supposed to do magic, you have to call it alchemy, but it’s more of an unpleasant and inconvenient institution than anything else. 

Except then we learn that there’s more to the Church’s suppression of magic than just disapproval of witchcraft.  We learn about how it’s a way of controlling people, and we also learn about how important magic is in Candia especially, how it’s a part of the land and the people, and all of a sudden, the Bulbian crusade against Candia takes on a far darker turn.  Because crusades don’t just spring up out of nowhere, they’re built on years of ideology and fanaticism, and that has been what the suppression of magic, the rumours about Candia’s reputation for “alchemy,” the Ramsian doctrine, has all been about.  What Cumulous brings into sharp relief is that fighting the Church is not just about personal revenge or who should be the rightful emperor, it’s about the Church’s decades-long plan to essentially commit genocide (as well as its decades of oppression and outright abuse, which it apparently had a free reign in).

(Jet, dear Jet, understood this first and fast.  She got that it wasn’t just about her personal feelings, that the problem was in the institution of the Church itself, and she was the first one to devote time to researching what they actually said, what the Ramsian doctrine was, what their plan was, and I’m endlessly fascinated by the possibility of a season where Jet lives and we potentially get a closer look at this world element and see how the party interacts with and dismantles it beyond just killing the Pontifex)

I do think that as dark as A Crown of Candy got sometimes, there’s a far darker undercurrent that sometimes gets overlooked because we are so compelled by the narrative of the Rocks family.  I also don’t think it’s any coincidence that the two PCs with the most pragmatic approach to combat and killing were Cumulous and Saccharina (there’s a difference between being efficient at killing and being willing to kill - all the PCs were pretty efficient at killing and being war guys, but only Cumulous and Saccharina really had the hardness and the instinct to kill).  Because the two of them are the ones who have most directly seen the effects of Bulbian ideology and prejudice!  For the rest of the party, the Church became an immediate enemy after the events at the cathedral.  For Cumulous and Saccharina, the Church has been the enemy -and a powerful, ruthless one- for years.  I remember a lot of jokes when the season was airing about Cumulous doing war crimes (and criticisms about whether or not Saccharina was guilty of war crimes...the double standard wasn’t great) but it makes perfect sense that they would be the ones with a harder line against the Church and a harder approach to the war.  They’ve been in it far longer than the rest of the party.

Anyways, it’s important that Cumulous does stand apart from the rest of the party because he does stand as that wider perspective beyond the intimate revenge and the complicated inter-party relationships.  And it really is something that requires that degree of separation, because Saccharina is another character who also reveals the wider context of the world, but a lot of that is often overlooked because of the compelling nature of her relationships with her family.  Even her horrifying childhood is viewed more often as a reason why she should be sympathized with (which she absolutely should), and we overlook the disturbing implications about how a foreign Church was able to inflict this level of abuse with essentially free reign.  So we need that strange, distant cousin swooping over our shoulders, reminding us every so often that hey, the story is about the Rocks but the Rocks also live in a wider society.  Yes there’s a nasty carrot with a mace that we all really want dead, but the carrot itself is a symptom of something larger.

(Also, something something meta here about Cumulous himself choosing to care about the world, choosing to care about magic and Candia and chickens hiding in a linen cupboard, choosing to be a monk first and a distant cousin of the Rocks second, choosing to remain at that distance because there’s bigger things happening in the world than just one family, even his own family, and it’s worth sacrificing everything for)

TL;DR, Lapin and Cumulous both stand at a distance from the rest of the party, and the meta implications of this are really interesting for how we the audience interact with the narrative and the characters as a whole. 

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #91: Ryougi Shiki (Saber)

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re going a bit out of our way to an entirely different Nasuverse production, Kara no Kyoukai, to build the mysterious  『Ryougi Shiki』, a.k.a. Void Shiki, a.k.a. Ryougi Shiki (Saber)! Shiki is the host personality of both Shiki and Shiki, and due to her connection with the Root, is effectively omniscient and omnipotent. She’s trying to keep her potence down to what a servant could do at the moment, so don’t expect a power build.

Check out Shiki’s build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Second verse, surprisingly different from the first.

Race and Background

Shiki is obviously a human, but she’s a human implanted with an additional personality as well as the origin of 「　」, so you’re probably closer to a Kalashtar. I would’ve thought “person with an extradimensional intelligence inside of them” would be a bit niche, but I guess I was wrong. Regardless, you get +2 Wisdom and +1 Charisma. Your Dual Mind gives you advantage on all Wisdom saves, your Mental Discipline gives you resistance to psychic damage, and you can use your Mind Link to speak to a creature within ten times your level in feet telepathically, provided they understand a language. This is a great way to get around that pesky language barrier. You can also spend an action to give a creature the ability to speak back telepathically for up to an hour, and you can only give one creature this ability at a time.

Finally, as a Kalashtar you are Severed from Dreams; you sleep, but don’t dream, so spells like Dream don’t work on you.

As the most reclusive of Shiki’s personalities, and the one with the greatest knowledge of the universe, you’re a shoe-in as a Hermit. This gives you Medicine and Religion proficiency, as well as a great secret of the world chosen by your DM.

Ability Scores:

Put your highest score into Wisdom, you’re literally omniscient and it’s a more useful ability score than Intelligence. Second is Dexterity- you move faster than most people can see, and you’re really handy with a sword. Third is Intelligence, because you’re still omniscient. Your Charisma isn’t that high, but we won’t be using it for much besides multiclassing anyway. Your Constitution is also pretty low, we just needed other stuff more. Finally, dump Strength. You don’t really get out much- it’s hard to go to the gym when you’re letting someone else run your body.

Class Levels

1. Monk 1: Your power comes more from your knowledge of other’s lines of death and your skill rather than brute force, so we’re going Monk instead of Fighter. It’s also way easier to fight in a Kimono this way, thanks to your Unarmored Defense giving you an AC of 10 + your Dexterity mod + your Wisdom mod. You also gain Martial Arts, making the minimum damage you can do with a monk weapon or your fist 1d4. You can also make an unarmed strike as a bonus action, and you can use Dexterity instead of Strength when attacking with a monk weapon or unarmed strike. 

You also have proficiency in Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as Acrobatics and History. You’re nimble and know everything, a powerful combo.

2. Monk 2: Second level monks learn how to use Ki points to dash, disengage, dodge, or make two unarmed blows as a bonus action. You also get Unarmored Movement, helping you move 10′ faster when not wearing armor. New to Tasha’s you can also use a Dedicated Weapon with your martial arts, picking a non-heavy, non-special weapon to use as a monk weapon at the end of a long rest. We’re still not proficient with a long-sword yet, so we can’t quite use it yet, but we’ll get there.

3. Sorcerer 1: We’re popping into sorcerer for a bit to awaken your Aberrant Mind, letting you cast Spells using your Charisma as the casting ability and also make Telepathic Speech. You can use your bonus action to link yourself with another creature nearby. Afterwards, for a number of minutes equal to your sorcerer level you can speak telepathically with them as long as they’re within a number of miles equal to your Charisma modifier. The bond lasts a number of minutes equal to your sorcerer level, and only one creature can be affected by it at once. It might be technically possible for something to run over a mile away in less than a minute, but that seems like an edge case. It’s a bit confusing, but this telepathy has a longer range than your other telepathy, at the cost of lasting a shorter time.

For your spells, pick up Message for yet another way to speak to your party, Dancing Lights, Light, Sleep, and Minor Illusion for some dreamlike effects, and False Life to turn your magical energy into your lifeforce.

The aberrant mind is especially useful because you also get some Psionic Spells for free. At first level you get Arms of Hadar, Dissonant Whispers, and Mind Sliver. Most of those aren’t that close to what you need though, so thankfully you can also replace one of these spells with any divination or enchantment spell of the same level from the sorcerer, warlock, or wizards spell lists. So let’s toss out Dissonant Whispers and replace it with Identify; you know literally everything, including what the cool magical artifact you just found is.

4. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers are a Font of Magic, giving you Sorcery Points equal to your level that you can spend to regain spell slots now, or other neat effects later. Speaking of spells, pick up Shield for more AC- it’s not that in-character, but we needed something replaceable for later. You should also replace Arms of Hadar with Detect Magic to further expand your omniscience.

5. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers learn two Metamagic options to enhance their spells. Distant Spell lets you double a spell’s range or turn a touch spell into a 30′ range, very useful for extending your spying spells even further. You also pick up Subtle Spell, which eliminates the need for verbal or somatic components. You don’t use magic to learn things, you just know, that means you shouldn’t let anyone catch you casting.

You also grab 2nd level spells this level: Magic Weapon lets you slice though lines of death instead of flesh to avoid resistances and deal a little more damage. You also get the psionic spells Calm Emotions and Detect Thoughts. We don’t really need to calm people down though, so replace that right away with Locate Object so you’ll never lose your car keys again.

6. Sorcerer 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Weapon Master feat, bumping up your Dexterity and also giving you proficiency in four weapons, including the Long-sword.

You also grab True Strike, because it’s hard to dodge an attack when you can’t even see what it’s aiming for, Mind Spike for more psychic damage and omniscience, and replace Shield with Shadow Blade for a more magical monk weapon as well.

7. Monk 3: Speaking of monk stuff, let’s head back there for our subclass. Monks that follow the Way of the Long Death study death and incorporate their findings into their martial arts, and it’s really easy to study death when you’re able to see it in person. When you take the subclass, you learn the Touch of Death, gaining temporary hp when you reduce a creature’s HP to 0 within 5′ of yourself. You can also Deflect Missiles to reduce incoming damage or throw it back at them for a ki point.

8. Monk 4: Use this ASI to round out your Dexterity and Wisdom for a better AC and better swordplay. You can also Slow Fall to reduce your falling damage by five times your monk level, or use Quickened Healing to turn your Ki points into health based on your martial arts die and your proficiency bonus.

9. Monk 5:  At fifth level, your Martial Arts grows to a d6, and you can make an Extra Attack with each attack action. You can also make a Stunning Strike with your melee attack, spending a ki point to force a constitution save (DC 8 + your wisdom modifier + your proficiency modifier) against being stunned.

10. Monk 6: Sixth level monks can make Ki-Empowered Strikes, making your unarmed attacks magical. It’s not incredibly useful, since you could already magic up your sword, but hey, now you can save a spell slot. You can also signal the Hour of Reaping as an action, frightening everything within 30′ of you that fails a wisdom saving throw. You’re an omniscient swordswoman who can see the death of all things, and may or may not even exist. That’s pretty scary.

You also get an extra 5′ of movement. It’s not quite as scary, but still pretty useful.

11. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers can use the new Magical Guidance, spending a sorcery point to re-roll a failed ability check. You know everything, so you should succeed at everything; that’s why it’s so boring.

For spells, you get Haste as your normal spell for doubled speed, +2 AC, an extra action per turn, and advantage on dexterity saves. You’re fast, what can I say. You also get new Psionic Spells, Hunger of Hadar and Sending. You have plenty of ways to speak your mind already, but let’s replace Hunger of Hadar with Clairvoyance for more all-knowing goodness, letting you place a sensor in a location you’ve been before or an obvious place you haven’t been, like around a corner. You can see or hear through the sensor, but not both at once.

12. Sorcerer 6: Sixth level Aberrant Minds get Psionic Sorcery; you can now cast Psionic Spells either by using a spell slot or by spending sorcery points equal to its level. Doing the latter lets you cast it without verbal, somatic, or unconsumed material components. You also have Psychic Defenses, giving you resistance to psychic damage and advantage on saves against being charmed or frightened. This almost entirely overlaps with the Kalashtar abilities you got at level 1, but who knows, maybe there’s a weird spell out there that charms with a constitution save.

For your spell, Blink loosens your grip on this reality, causing you to blink out of existence at the end of your turn if you roll eleven or higher on a d20. At the start of your turns and the end of the spell, you blink back into reality for more fighting. It lasts up to a minute, and isn’t concentration, so pair it with your favorite buff to really become a frightening anomaly. 

13. Sorcerer 7: Seventh level sorcerers get fifth level spells, like Far Step, which gives you the cool anime-level speed we’ve been looking for. As a bonus action each turn the spell is up, you can teleport up to 60′ away for speed so blinding people literally can’t see you do it. You also get Evards Black Tentacles and Summon Aberration as Psionic Spells. Neither are in-character, so replace the one you’ll use less with Arcane Eye for one last way to learn things you shouldn’t. This spell creates a magical sensor within 30′ of you, but you can move it as an action with no limit to how far it can go. 

14. Monk 7: We’re done switching around classes now; back in Monk, you learn Evasion, which gives you half damage on failed dexterity saves and no damage on successes when you’re trying to avoid damage. Your connection to the Void also gives you Stillness of Mind, letting you end a charming or frightening effect as an action.

15. Monk 8: Pick up the Tough feat for 2 extra HP per level- you’re a monk and your constitution is bad, you’ll really want this.

16. Monk 9: At ninth level you can run over liquid or up walls thanks to your Unarmored Movement Improvement. Just be sure to end your turn somewhere solid.

17. Monk 10: Tenth level monks have a Purity of Body, making them immune to diseases and poisons. You don’t have to deal with poison, Shiki does. You should probably apologize to her one of these days. You also get another 5′ of extra movement, because why not.

18. Monk 11: Eleventh level Long Death monks have a Mastery of Death; when you would hit 0 hp, you can instead spend a Ki point to stay at 1 hp instead. You’re pretty hard to kill, which is just as well- I don’t want to force your DM to have to figure out what happens when the origin of the universe dies. Also, your Martial Arts increases to a d8, for stronger unarmed attacks and more healing.

19. Monk 12: Use your last ASI on more Dexterity for a higher AC and more deadly weapon.

20. Monk 13: Your capstone feature is the Tongue of the Sun and Moon, letting you understand and be understood by anything that speaks a language. I’m almost getting tired of saying this, but you’re omnipotent; Duolingo should be pretty easy by now.

Pros:

You have 50′ of movement normally, the ability to dash or teleport as a bonus action, and access to the haste spell. You’re pretty goddamn mobile, is what I’m trying to say. And unlike a lot of these builds, you can run straight up walls and teleport into the air, so vertical mobility isn’t that much of an issue for you. As long as you don’t mind falling.

You have plenty of options to heal yourself, and you have to die almost a dozen times before you actually stay down. As befitting of The Thing the Universe Is Recorded On, you’re pretty hard to kill.

You’re not as omniscient as you should be, but you’re still really good at learning things you shouldn’t.  With plenty of divination spells that you can cast subtly, you’ll be able to spy on events without anyone knowinng you were ever there.

Cons:

A lot of your buffs and divination spells require concentration, which would be annoying enough even if your constitution wasn’t bad in the first place.

Your best way at dealing with flying enemies is to throw yourself into the air and hope you land okay. I mean you’re a high level monk, so it’s not that big an issue, but it’s still not dignified.

This build is a little bit complicated, with different kinds of points to keep track of. Have fun keeping your sorcery points, spell slots, and ki points all straight.

[theworldbrewery]

multiclass your... SORCERER!!

those metamagic options aren’t going to use themselves, am I right?

The Sorcerer is a charisma-based casting class, and you’re at your most effective in combat (although your source of magic may grant you additional non-combat perks). Metamagic lets you use sorcery points to control your spells, but you can also use those sorcery points to create spell slots out of whole cloth.

Sorcerer + Barbarian

This is a wonderful hypothetical, but unfortunately, it can’t deliver on its promise. You cannot cast or concentrate on a spell while raging, which means your best benefits will be in the form of Unarmored Defense (not too shabby if you’re a squishy caster) and Danger Sense, which grants advantage on dexterity saves against visible effects.

Sorcerer + Bard

Bards are a great way to enhance what you already do with a little bit of somethin’-somethin’ on the side. You’ll gain two extra cantrips and two first-level spell slots right off the bat, access to certain bard spells, and Bardic Inspiration, which you can use as a bonus action--as a sorcerer, only a few spells will use your bonus action (unless you’re quickening a spell) so this can be a great benefit to you. At second level, you’ll gain another spell slot, the Song of Rest feature that lets you heal extra during a short rest, and Jack-of-All-Trades to boost your proficiencies.

Sorcerer + Cleric

With cleric, you can get three new cantrips, two first-level spell slots, and access to the breadth of first-level cleric spells. Your divine domain can grant you early bonuses to healing or damage spells (which you can cast using sorcerer spell slots), new proficiencies, or even extra cantrips. If you’re wise enough to take this leap of faith, it’s probably worth it--especially in a healer-less party. Second level will get you additional Divine Domain perks and a use of Channel Divinity. The nice bit here is using twinned, distant, or quickened spells to heal faster, further, or simply more.

Sorcerer + Druid

Unfortunately, here you fall into the same trap as the barbarian multiclass--you can’t cast a spell while wild-shaped, so pushing this class to second level may not be worth it. However, you might judge it to be valuable anyway because you’ll gain access to a host of low-level druid spells, two additional cantrips, and two more first-level spell slots. If you push on to second level anyway, you can still salvage your wild-shape by choosing a Druid Circle that lets you use the wild-shape ability for other things, such as Circle of Spores.

Sorcerer + Fighter

I’ll admit, the Action Surge looks great. But you have to survive an entire level of being a fighter who is really ill-equipped for fighting. Not that you can’t do it, but if everyone else in the party levels up normally and you’re still sorcerer 9/fighter 1, you’re going to feel left behind. And after all that work--two level-ups spent on the fighter multiclass--your reward is a single use of Action Surge (that admittedly recharges on a short rest). Is it worth it? Up to you. But in the meantime, that Second Wind is nice enough, while the Fighting Style may not help you (if you’re committed, take Defense or Protection--you now are proficient in armor and shields, so they won’t compromise your casting).

Sorcerer + Monk

Here, the issue is one of spreading your abilities too thin. Your ability scores would need to be above 13 in dex and wis to do this multiclass at all. Like a barbarian, you’d gain the Unarmored Defense ability while not really being able to make good use of the Martial Arts feature; at second level, you can use the ki points to take certain bonus actions (dash, disengage, or dodge) and gain unarmored movement, which increases your speed. Not too bad, all things considered, but it’s a tough sell because of those ability score prerequisites.

Sorcerer + Paladin

On the off-chance your sorcerer is reasonably strong, this is... actually a surprisingly good option for you. See, here’s the thing. You can cast a smiting spell (range of self) at a higher level than first using a sorcerer spell slot, hit your enemy, and then empower the smite damage so you can reroll damage. ON A SMITE. It won’t work if you don’t have reasonable to-hit odds, though, so be sure your Strength is up to snuff. You’ll also gain access to Lay on Hands, Divine Sense, and a Fighting Style (again, choose Defense or Protection). 

Sorcerer + Ranger

These two classes have the same issue as the sorcerer and monk combo: spreading yourself thin. Still, you might want the additional proficiencies, languages, etc. that a ranger can bring to you; they’re excellent for non-combat work. If so, I don’t recommend going further than one level in this class; the new spellcasting and the fighting style aren’t as valuable to you as the things you can get from continuing as a sorcerer.

Sorcerer + Rogue

This is more of what you need if ranger appealed to you but wasn’t going to work out. Sneak attack is great for when you don’t want to blow spells to attack at a distant range (using it on a ranged attack), and you’ll gain a skill proficiency, proficiency with thieves’ tools, and expertise in two such proficiencies as well as learning thieves’ cant. At second level, those Cunning Actions can help a squishy sorcerer as much as they can help a flexy-dexy rogue.

Sorcerer + Warlock

Unlike Sorcerer + Ranger, the issue here is that the classes are too similar. Patrons and sorcerous origins may blur together, you only gain one new spell slot at first level, and while your extra cantrips will be nice, it’s hard to justify doing this instead of continuing on as a sorcerer. Still, it could be a funky roleplay choice to have a sorcerous origin and an otherworldly patron that are directly at odds--shadow magic origin and celestial patron, for example. If you insist, please take two levels to at least make it worth your while with those eldritch invocations. Not the worst option, because the warlock also relies on Charisma, but certainly not the best.

Sorcerer + Wizard

Let’s cut to the chase: you’ll get three new cantrips, two first-level spell slots (plus Arcane Recovery, which isn’t outstanding but it’s not nothing, either), and at second level, an Arcane Tradition that lets you do cool things such as: avoid hitting your friends with AOE evocation spells (oof), grant yourself a sort of “armor” that can absorb damage, hypnotize a creature, regain HP when you kill an enemy with a spell, or other equally neat effects. It’s not outstanding--it’s much like Warlock in terms of usefulness to you, but relies on INT instead of CHA--but it’ll get the job done. 

That’s all for Sorcerers! Last but not least, we’re taking a look at Warlocks next. (and if anyone has a class they desperately want us to look at, hit up our inbox to request it!)

If you enjoy our work, consider supporting us on Ko-Fi! We’re currently saving up for Volo’s Guide to Monsters.

[cupcakecoterie]

@true0neutral - Hazel, half-elf cleric

@fauxfire76 - Darvin, human bard/sorcerer

@miaaoi - Froseth, dragonborn monk

@hyperewok1 - Remi, human paladin/warlock

@lindira - Clarity, tiefling rogue/wizard

Marion - Ava, human ranger

Brian - Barnabus, minotaur fighter

This session was ... harrowing. HARROWIIIIIIIIIIIIIING. I almost feel like apologising, because that was cruel and unusual, but it was also a masterwork of headfuck and thus my apologies lack at least some level of sincerity because pride.

As the lights went out, Clarity and Barnabus were ‘held back’ - Barnabus by the hand of the ‘human’ child who serves as page of the Archfey Lady of Whimsy and Mischief (and the Archfey Lord of Chaos and Misrule, sometimes) taking his, and Clarity by the hand of the Lady of Whimsy herself. When the lights came up, Hazel, Darvin, Froseth, Remi, Ava and Alisaie were all gone, and Her Majesty explained that while Nai/Eryn was no longer fulfilling his part of his pact with his Archfey patrons, the others had vowed to help Nai meet his obligations to his patrons, so they were still beholden to the whims of His Majesty of Misrule as Nai would have been. So they’d been taken for further tourney challenges, these ones a little more tailored - and that in the case of two of them, a death was called for. The others, she promised she would bring back before anything permanent happened. Then Her Majesty gave Clarity a tiny dragon clutching a gold coin as its ‘hoard’, and sent rainbow-coloured spectral kittens, in an attempt to cheer her and Barnabus up.

Barnabus was so fucking confused and really hating this loophole-riddled indirect twisty-logic Fae bullshit because he is Lawful Good and the Archfey asshole took his friends and he had no way to get them back and made of LIVID.

First, Ava - in a reproduction of her own bedroom at the Vanedar estate - with the sound and heat of flames. There was no ceiling - just a rope leading up into blackness. Then the room itself caught fire, leaving Ava with the options of climbing (she’s afraid of heights) or burning (she’s afraid of fire). She climbed. She did pretty well, considering her -1 STR modifier ... but eventually she fell. She landed in a pile of mine debris back at the campsite area, with slightly scorched boots and rope burns on her palms but nothing major. She was more freaked out than anything else. She got the precis on what was going on. She was not pleased. That ... would be a theme.

Darvin next. He was tasked to sit a dinner party - entertain people without offending anyone, or be burned at the stake. Darvin refusd to play along, and nearly committed himself to dying in it before Her Majesty could pull him out. As it was, he lost half his hit points to the flames before he was dumped back to the mines.

Then, Hazel - back in her Elvenwild bedroom. In place of the door, a tapestry reading “Perhaps a leap of faith - how much does your god love you?”. And the window, looking down onto tree limbs and the ground at least a couple of hundred feet below. First Hazel tried to carve a “F U!!!” into the tapestry but the magics of the Archfey had it so well-protected that it shattered one blade of the double-bladed axe. She managed to fix it with a little extra divine oomph and then, swearing in halfling, yeeted herself out the window. She hit every limb of the tree on her way down, lost about two-thirds of her hit points, but survived the fall.

Froseth had it comparatively easy. A jumping puzzle (which he did fairly well as befits a monk) interspersed with trivia questions ... where he fell at the first hurdle with a particularly bad Intelligence roll. Thankfully he’s not afraid of much in that respect, so again - out of it with minimal physical, mental and emotional scarring ... though he is determined to ask Farideh a few more questions about his people.

Froseth also thought to ask His Majesty what they could do to make this the last damn time they had to go through this bullshit. His Majesty basically said he was still owed, and they’d have to offer him something really good to get him to let go. They’re going to do some research on that - though whether it’s how to placate him or how to kill him ... they’re very much veering to the latter right now.

That partially because of Remi. Remi was shown Alisaie trapped in a magical prison (briefly, before it went opaque) and told that to see Alisaie or her other friends again, Remi would have to kill the creature they put before her. Remi double-checked - that she and Alisaie would be returned to exactly where they were when they were taken if she killed her challenger - and had it confirmed, so the fight started. The flesh golem which was set to challenge Remi didn’t land a single blow, and Remi brought it down, but paused before the killing blow, asking to be allowed to see Alisaie before she finished it. Unfortunately, she did get to see Alisaie a moment later ... when the ‘flesh golem’ bled out, the illusion that made the opponent look like a flesh golem dropped and Remi found herself looking at Alisaie, sprawled dead at her feet. (Basically, the Alisaie in the magic cage was an illusion to throw Remi off - they locked down Alisaie’s magic, Silenced her, and put an illusion on her, then made her fight Remi, stating that if Alisaie let Remi know what was going on in any way, they’d kill Remi outright. So Alisaie aimed for the shield and the solid parts of Remi’s armour and let Remi kill her, at least knowing about Revivify.) Remi did cast Revivify, but was sent back to the camp in the mines (in their exact previous positions - Remi at a pile of mine debris where she’d been looking for a good rock to cast Light on; Alisaie in front of the tent building a fire bowl) before knowing whether it worked.

It worked. Barely. Ava came out of the tent at Remi’s screaming and tripped over Alisaie’s body (prone, barely breathing, but at least alive), brought her back to consciousness with Cure Wounds before Remi shoved her out of the way to dump the entirety of her Lay On Hands into Alisaie. After a lot of reassurances in all directions, Alisaie got the full story of what happened and why as the party regrouped. Everybody wants the Lord of Chaos and Misrule dead. They’re going to have to earn their way into the right section of the Silver Vault to do their research to figure out how to kill an archfey, or even what one might want in exchange for freeing them from their accidental contract, but if nothing else, they know they need to deal with this guy so he doesn’t interfere with their attempts on, say, the ancient black dragon known as Jain Nerrand III.

Further mental regrouping happened: Alisaie brought out the dinner date in a can for her and Remi so they could rebond and get over the guilt, Hazel and Clarity cooked dinner, Clarity also decided to blow a levitation bubble to stick on Barnabus to entertain Her Majesty ... Her Majesty expressed a certain ... carnal interest in Barnabus and made an offer, Barnabus accepted... So hopefully they’ll be in decent shape to start their purple worm hunt in the morning.

...Well, in two weeks’ time, anyway.

So that was fun! So glad I have Monday off; I was not getting to sleep easily after that one.

[miracle-sham]

Plan D for Dicey.

| {MaribatMarch2020 – Week 1, Day 6: Unconventional Weapon} |

| [Ao3 Link] | | [Masterlist Link] |

| Triggers/Warnings: D&D typical Violence, kidnapping/imprisoning of Player Characters, Explicit Language/Swearing, (Also not so much a Trigger/Warning but this a gen/platonic fic). |

| The Wayne (bat)family attempt to play their first streamed session of Warriors and Warlocks. Unpredictably, things go surprisingly well. |

| Word Count: 4323 |

==–==

| A/N: So firstly, I got really carried away writing this so it's being posted a day late. Sorry! But fun fact, this means I'm posting this on my birthday, so wooh! Also if you can't tell yet, I'm a massive D&D geek (been playing for roughly five years now but I still fell like a complete noob whenever I play or DM :P). And DC has its own version of D&D (W&W/Warriors and Warlocks) and upon reading Day 6's prompt, my immediate thought was the improvised weapons mechanic from D&D. Also also, I originally intended for this fic to be MariTim (hence the tags) but I got caught up in all the platonic fun of the family playing D&D I kinda forgot to write in the shippy bits? |

| A/N cont.: Writing this was actually a massive challenge because at the start of this I had absolutely zero idea on how to write a D&D session as a ficlet. So this might be a bit more clunky and unrefined compared to my normal work (or that could just be my self-doubt talking). As I mentioned earlier, I got really carried away writing this because I love D&D so much. I would have written more but this ficlet is long enough and late enough as is. But if I were to continue this ficlet in additional parts, I definitely can already think of so many ways to improve writing this sort of fic (and maybe next time I won't forget to add in shippy stuff). Anyway, thanks to those who read these A/Ns, and I hope you guys enjoy reading this! |

| If you want to be tagged in future oneshots/fics, or a specific Au, then comment or send me a DM/ask! |

| Also side note, Don't Like? Don't Read. Also also, please do not criticise any of my writing. This was written for fun and receiving criticism, even in a compliment/criticism sandwich, is the exact opposite of fun. |

==–==

Marinette, with Tikki on her shoulder, bursts into the Wayne Manor games room, barely able to contain her excitement. As the first in the room, she can't help but glance across the square conference U-table already set up with everyone's character sheets, dice equipment, other equipment, and snacks and drinks. Bounding over to her designated seat (right side, place nearest to the DM's section of the table), she pulls her chair out and sits down.

 The rest of the Wayne (bat)family, including Steph but sans Alfred and Barbara, slowly filter into the room and take their designated seats. Jason takes his seat next to Marinette whilst Dick takes the seat directly opposite. Steph nabs the seat beside Jason, Damian stakes a claim to the seat next to Dick (despite it already being his designated seat), Cass sits down in the seat beside Steph, leaving Bruce to take his seat next to Damian.

 Tim's the last of the family to enter. He slips into his seat, the DM's seat—as he is the most experienced Warriors and Warlocks player at the table—and grins downright ferally at his players.

 He looks up at the cameras and recording equipment that is set up in the middle of the open space in the square U-table. “Hello and welcome to Plan D for Dicey, the first-ever Wayne Family Warriors and Warlocks fifth edition stream. We weren't quite expecting so many people to petition that we stream our sessions after a few people—” Tim fake coughs twice, “—Dick and Marinette—” Tim fake coughs twice again (whilst Marinette and Dick both grin and wave cheerfully at the cameras), “—rambled about their characters and some highlights from previous sessions, on Twitter. So we decided to give this a go and see how the session pans out whilst being streamed. So as a word of warning, prepare yourselves for the Venators, probably one of the most dysfunctional parties in W&W to miraculously band together.”

 As soon as he says this, the rest of the table burst into grins and cheers (excluding Bruce who despite also smiling, looks like he's just aged five years). Marinette's side of the table all high five each other in their excitement.

 Tim pauses for a second. “For anyone unfamiliar with who I am, I'm Tim. And as you can probably tell from the table set up, I'm the Dungeon Master for this campaign. That's because I've been playing W&W for just over five years now and have had experience DMing before. But for the rest of the players here, this is their first campaign and by extension first time playing. So before we begin our session, first let us introduce our players and their characters.” He nods to Marinette's side of the table.

 She immediately slaps her hands on the table, pushes her chair out and stands, she waves at the cameras again. “Hi, I'm Marinette and my character is Nella Septa-Punctata. She's a Protector Aasimar Celestial Pact of the Chain Warlock, and she has a Sprite Familiar called Tikki. Nella's Chaotic Good and a little anxious but she tries her best to be a kind and heroic adventurer.” She then sits back down, scraping her chair back in again.

 Jason raises an eye at Marinette's antics but shrugs. “I'm Jay, I play a Winged Variant Feral Tiefling Gunslinger called Rehodros. He's Chaotic Neutral, verging on Chaotic Evil at times, and he only joined the Venators because they helped save him from backstory related stuff and he ended up getting reluctantly attached to them.”

 Deciding to also stand up from her chair as well as slap the table with both hands, Steph smirks at the cameras. “I'm Stephanie, my character's Speilsol Leyer, and she's a Chaotic Good Variant Human Ancestral Guardian Barbarian with the Tavern Brawler Feat. She lives for beating up bad guys and doing good, even if it goes against the law.”

 Cass decides to take things one step further and moves to sit on the back of the chair, balancing it carefully as to not let herself fall. She waves at the cameras. “Hi, I Cass. Play Balabitara. Neutral Good, Kalashtar Shadow Monk.” She then sits back down on the chair normally.

 With one half of the table introduced, Tim nods towards the other side of the table.

 Dick winks at the cameras, “I'm Dick and I play Niriwyse, a Chaotic Good Eladrin Glamour Bard who's along for the ride and just wants to have a good time.” At that, he wiggles his eyebrows.

 Scoffing, Damian glares at the cameras. “I am Damian and my character is Rokian. He is a Firbolg Circle of the Shepherd Druid and is Lawful Neutral in the sense that he believes the only laws that should be obeyed in the world, are that or the laws of nature. He begrudgingly joined this party of adventurers after they saved an animal friend of his.”

 This leaves Bruce as the only one to have not introduced himself and his character yet. He smiles his Brucie Wayne smile at the cameras. “My name's Brucie and my character is called Chirop. He's a Chaotic Good Bugbear Swashbuckler Rogue. He comes across as very gruff, but he's just a big old teddy bear at heart.”

 Tim coughs under his breath. “Alright, with our introductions over, let's get on with the show.” The lights in the room suddenly dim and turn a dark red shade whilst creepy echoing organ music begins to play from hidden speakers. “Last session, our brave party of seven adventurers were captured by the evil Lich Dreldaz whilst trying to rescue the beautiful princess Theophania—”

 “—Timothea!” Corrects the rest of the table.

 Rolling his eyes, Tim continues. “—from the cursed castle in which she has been trapped in, by Dreldaz.” He pauses, steepling his fingers as the dim red lighting becomes a dark grey shade. “The Venators awaken, only to find themselves shackled to the walls, in individual stone brick cells and stripped of any and all equipment bar the clothes on their backs. From what you all can immediately tell upon waking, these cells are small, cold, dark and dingy. What do you do?”

 The seven players all exchange glances between themselves.

 “I'd like to look around my cell, see if I can find anything or if I can get an idea of what the cellblock we're in looks like?” Jason announces after a few seconds.

 Tim nods. “Roll a perception check, please.”

 Jason narrows his eyes Tim. He reaches towards the red and black dice set beside his character sheet and picks up the D20. He shakes the dice in his hands before rolling it into the dice box. It lands on a 7. “Alright so because I don't have my gear any more, that means I don't have my eyes of the eagle right?”

 “That's right,” Tim responds.

 “Mmk, that's a seven then, plus my perception modifier… Fourteen total.” Jason glances up at Tim once he finishes calculating.

 Humming, Tim glances down at his Mysterious™ DM notes. “With your Darkvision, you manage to make out that there are two small barred windows on the walls adjacent to the wall with the cell door. The door luckily has a barred window in it too, but you're too far away to glean anything from peering at it.”

 Marinette purses her lips and double-checks her character sheet. “Is there anything magical about the darkness in these cells?”

 “Roll an Arcana check to see.” Is Tim's response.

 She reaches over to the pink and gold dice set beside her character sheet and picks up the D20. She shakes the dice in her hands before rolling it into the dice box. The D20 lands on a 16. “Sixteen! Wait, plus my arcana modifier, uh…” She scans her sheet for the relevant modifier, “plus six, so that's uh… oh heck maths, uhh I think that's twenty-two total? Yeah.” She nods to herself at calculating the maths.

 Jason snorts and addresses the cameras. “This is why you should stay in school kids!”

 Huffing, Marinette elbows him in the side. “Fight me!”

 Not evening flinching at the elbowing, Jason pats her on the top of her head. “Friendly fire, Mari! Friendly fire!”

 Tim waits for silence with his best poker face on. “As far as you can tell, there is nothing magical about the darkness!”

 “Really?” She furrows her brows. “Alright then.”

 He smiles in response.

 Dick glances down at his character sheet then up at Tim, he taps his fingers against the table idly as he speaks. “The walls of the cells are stone? So I can use my Cli Lyre to cast Stone Shape and create a hole in the stone where the metal shackles connect, which would free me, right!”

 Clicking his tongue, Tim shakes his head. “Nope, you don't have your Cli Lyre on you right now, so you can't cast any spells from it.”

Cursing under his breath, Dick frantically scans his character sheet for anything. He reaches his spells and freezes and slaps the spell sheet (and by extension, the table). “Ah hah!” He crows, “I will cast Knock on the shackles!”

 Tim raises an eyebrow, then looks down to flip through his spell cheat sheet. “When you cast the spell, it makes a loud knock that's audible for up to three hundred feet. Are you sure you want to cast this?”

 Dick falters and furrows his brow, then glances around the table at the rest of the party. “I think I'll wait and see if anyone else has a way to escape this first? Wait we can all hear each other speaking from our cells, right?”

 “You can indeed.” Tim answers.

 “I got nothin',” Jason admits, putting on his Rehodros voice, which is just his normal voice but deeper and with a raspy—almost hissing—clipped tone.

 Steph, using her Speilsol Leyer voice (which sounds like she's putting on a weak German accent), shrugs. “I could try breaking the shackles? I'm strong enough to do cool things like that?”

  “But that will also be fairly loud.” Bruce points out, speaking with a gruff tone of voice (which is significantly different from his gravelly Batman tone of voice) for Chirop. “If I had my lockpicks, it would be easy to escape stealthily. But without them, I can't see a way for me to get out of these shackles.”

 Damian wrinkles his nose. “I might be able to summon creatures, elementals, or fey but what I get is determined by the DM and may not be entirely helpful. However, I could try wildshaping?”

 Tim smiles cryptically and the lighting behind him changes from dark grey to lime green. “You could.”

 Damian nods. “Alright then, I will use my wildshape ability to transform into a spider.”

The lime green light fades to flickering orange-red light. “As you try to use your druidic abilities to magically assume the shape of a spider, you feel a burning sensation around your wrists, right where the shackles are. You are unable to transform and take…” Tim pauses as he pulls out his black and red dragon dice and rolls a D6 behind the DM screen. “Five points of fire damage.”

 Cursing under his breath in Arabic, Damian glares at Tim. He crosses out his current hp and writes down the new amount.

 Jason taps Marinette on the shoulder. “What about Nells, Mari? She got any tricks up her sleeve to escape?”

 Marinette startles at that, having been chewing her lip and staring intently at her character sheet since her arcana check. She licks her lips then glances up. “I might…”

 She taps a small stat block card with a pencil and turns to Tim with an intense stare. “Is Tikki nearby?”

 At that, Tim grins widely and raises a finger. “That,” He says, flipping through his notes, “is a very good question.”

 “Because on my notes, here it says that last session Tikki was invisible when we all got captured.” Marinette picks up her session notes journal and shows it to him.

 “Would you say Tikki followed after you when you got caught?”

 Marinette tilts her head to the side and Tikki whispers in her ear. Of course, the cameras inability to record kwamis means it just looks like she's thinking instead of listening to a flying red bug deity. “Yep, I would say that. I would also like to telepathically communicate with Tikki and ask if she can come and pick the locks because we gave her a spare Thieves' Tools kit last shopping session in case she needed to pick the locks during an invisible scouting mission!”

 “Indeed you did, so Tikki flies over to your cell and will try to pick the locks on your door first. So roll a d20 and add Tikki's Dex bonus.” He instructs.

 Marinette nods and picks up the dice, cupping her hands underneath it so Tikki can shake then roll it without it looking suspicious on camera. Tikki shakes the dice and drops it as Marinette separates her hands. The dice lands in the box and rolls a 16. “Plus Tikki's Dex mod, that's uh…” She scrambles for the Sprite Familiar statblock card, “Plus four, so dirty twenty!”

 “That's enough to pick the lock. Do you want Tikki to enter the cell and try to pick the lock?” He asks.

 She nods and repeats the roll with Tikki, this time rolling an eleven. “With mods, fifteen.” Tikki then returns to her place on Marinette's shoulder.

 “Tikki barely manages to get the locks open. The shackles open and you land on the cell floor.”

 Marinette punches the air. “Wooh! Freedom!”

 Cass then waves her hand in the air. “Shadowstep out?”

 Tim cocks his head to the side. “As you don't have Darkvision, you can't see outside your cell but you manage to use your shadowstep ability to escape the shackles. Then by peering out the barred window in the door, you manage to shadow step into the cellblock corridor.”

 Marinette and Cass share a high-five.

 “Let's go free everyone else!”

==–==

 It takes them ten minutes to finish freeing everyone else, and start making their way out of the dungeon cell block. The Venators now make their way through the bowels of the castle, searching for the armoury in which all their belongings have been stored.

 “As you push open the grand oak doors, the faint scent of sickly sweet rotting food and fire hits your noses. The doors reveal the next room to be a grand dining room with a long oak table, set as though prepared for a grand feast expecting many a guest. It's adequately lit but the two corners of the room above the door seem to glow with a dim greenish glow.” Tim pauses in his description as lighting changing to a dim greenish light behind him; he rolls a D8 four times (6, 7, 2, 4), behind the DM screen, followed by the rolling of a D20 four times (3, 19, 13, 18).

 “Oh god…” Dick mutters, 

 Jason huffs. “What are you going to torture us with now, oh great DM?”

 Tim smiles cruelly. “Four rays of fire are shot towards the party from somewhere within the dining room. First attack is an eight versus Chirop's AC?”

 Bruce sighs in relief. “That's a miss.”

 Tim continues to smile. “Mmk, the rest of the attacks are, twenty-four versus Balabitara's AC, eighteen versus Niriwyse's AC, and twenty-three verses Rokian's AC. I assume those hit.”

 Damian narrows his eyes at Tim, whilst Dick winces and Cass pouts.

 Tim rolls a D6 nine times, behind the DM screen. “Balabitara takes four points of fire damage, Niriwyse and Rokian both take eight points of fire damage.”

 The three all jot down the damage taken.

 Still smiling, like the truly evil DM that he is, Tim clasps his hands together. “Two skulls, enveloped with green flames, descend from the ceiling. One hovers over the grand table and the other hovers but the top of the opened doors, giving itself cover.” He pauses, then grins. “With the surprise round over, everyone roll initiative!”

 Out of habit, all seven players, and Tikki, roll their D20s in almost perfect sync. Dick rolls an 18, Cass rolls a 9, Jason rolls a 14, Bruce rolls a 16, Steph rolls a 17 with advantage, Damian rolls a 2, Marinette rolls a 10, and Tikki rolls a 14.

 “Twenty or above?” Tim asks.

 “Twenty three,” Bruce announces.

 Jason rolls his eyes. “Twenty-one.”

 Dick grins, “Twenty one as well!”

 Tim scribbles down the rolls on the initiative table. “D'awww, you both rolled twenty-one. Anyway, fifteen or above?”

 “Tikki rolled an eighteen.” Informs Marinette.

 “I got nineteen!” Steph exclaims.

 Jotting down those rolls as well, Tim asks “Alright, anyone ten or above?”

 Cass signs her roll, ‘fourteen.’

 “Thirteen.” Marinette answers.

 Tim glances at the initiative table, then at Damian. “And you Damian?”

 Damian scoffs. “Three.”

 “Okay.” Tim then rolls a D20 twice. “Chirop! You're up first!”

 Bruce looks slightly bewildered. He clears his throat. “Can I grab the nearest sharp pieces of cutlery and sneak behind a chair?”

 Tim nods. “Roll stealth.”

 He rolls an 18. “My stealth modifier is plus thirteen, so thirty-one to stealth.”

 Tim whistles, “To the rest of the Venators, it looks like Chirop just vanishes into thin air.”

“Are any of the enemies close enough that I could move into melee range?” He questions.

 “There's one floating Flameskull hovering five foot in the air, with your Long-Limbed trait, it's well within reach,” Tim informs.

 Bruce narrows his eyes. “I would like to stab the Flameskull with the sharp cutlery, knives are preferable.”

 “Roll to hit. As knives are close enough to daggers, I'll say you can get away with adding your proficiency bonus as well.”

 Bruce rolls, with advantage, a 19. “Plus my modifiers, that's twenty-eight to hit.”

 “That hits.”

 Bruce rolls for damage, 2. “That's two, so seven.” He then rolls for Surprise damage, 8 (5, 3), and Sneak Attack damage, 24 (6, 2, 5, 6, 5). “That's a total of 39 piercing damage. Then I'll use my bonus action to stab it again,” He rolls a 16, “Twenty-one to hit.”

  Tim puts on his best poker face. “That also hits.”

 “Then that'll be…” He rolls a 1. “One damage from the second attack.”

“The Flameskull you hit screeches in fury as it crumbles to bone dust.” Tim then proceeds to make a horrific screeching sound, for immersion of course.

 “What the fuck, Timbo?” Jason asks, wincing.

  Dick cringes. “At least you aren't right beside him! My poor ears!”

 “Rip us closest seats.” Mumbles Marinette, wrinkling her nose.

“Rehodros, you're up next!” Tim announces gleefully, ignoring his suffering players.

 Jason narrows his eyes at Tim, “I want to run over to the table, grab any food on the table that's not rotten, and yeet it at the nearest Flameskull.”

 Tim hums, “Okay, the only non-rotten food you can find, is a block of aged cheese and a bowl of hardened sugar cubes.

 Snorting, Jason cracks his knuckles. “Oh, I have to pick the block of aged cheese.”

 “Roll your attack then. But make sure you only add your Dex modifier to the attack as you're not proficient in improvised weaponry.”

 Jason rolls to attack and also gets a 19. “Twenty four to hit.”

 Tim snorts. “Yeah, that definitely hits, go ahead and roll damage.”

 Jason nods and rolls a 1D4, managing to get max damage. “Four! Wooh! Plus my Dex mod, that's nine damage!”

 “You lob the cheese at the Flameskull, managing to cause a couple of cracks to form on its skull. It turns it's furious gaze to you, intending to intimidate you but the effect is somewhat hindered by the melting cheese covering half of its skull.” Tim flips through his notes and marks down the damage taken.

 “Okay, then I want to grab the bowl of sugar and using my extra attack to throw that at the Flameskull, in the jaw.” Jason smirks and switches to his Rehodros voice, “You look like you've got a sssweet tooth, bonehead!” He rolls to attack and gets a 12. “Seventeen to hit?”

 “That will hit.”

 Jason rolls a 3 on the D4. “That's eight damage total.”

“As the bowl of sugar starts to melt from the heat of the fire, the sickly sweet scent of hot sugar begins to emanate from the Flameskull. The Flameskull does not look happy.” Tim pauses to glance at the initiative table. “Niriwyse! You're up.”

 Dick glances down at his spell list and beams. “I'm going to cast Vicious Mockery. And say,” he puts on his Niriwyse voice, which is just his voice but higher pitch and with a British Estuary accent, “Green is so not your colour!”

 Tim hums, then flips through his notes. “What's the spell Save DC on that again?”

 Quickly checking his spell sheet, Dick answers, “DC 16.”

 “Mmk,” Tim responds non-committally, before rolling a D20 twice from behind the DM screen. “That, unfortunately for you, is a nat 20. Which means it takes no damage and suffers no disadvantage. The Flameskull turns to you briefly, to cackle in your face, before turning its attention back to Rehodros.”

  Dick frowns. “Aww that failed, welp I'll use my bonus action to give Speilsol Leyer inspiration.” He clears his throat and puts on his Niriwyse voice to sing. “Let's get down to business! To defeat, this skull! Did they order heroes, no they asked for none! We're the saddest party you'll ever meet! But you can bet before we're through, Flameskull, we'll make dust out of you!”

 The rest of the table burst into cheers and groans.

 “Beautiful, Speilsol Leyer, you get 1D10 bardic inspiration,” Tim confirms. “And now it's your turn. Show the audience what you've got.”

 Steph giggles. “Okay, okay, I've got a really dumb idea.”

 Tim raises an eyebrow at her.

 “So, firstly, is there anything on the walls, like paintings? Wall sconces? Y'know.” She asks.

 “There's a painting of a naked elven lady on one wall, and a taxidermied fox head on the other,” Tim informs.

 Steph bounces in her seat. “Cool! So I'm gonna rage! Rip the taxidermied fox head off the wall, then run and leap up into the air to bludgeon the Flameskull with the fox head!”

 “Right. Make an athletics roll.”

 Rolling a D20, she gets 13. “Twenty one!”

 “You manage to jump into the air with expert grace. Roll to hit.”

 She rolls a 16. “That's a twenty-four to hit because I've got the Tavern Brawler Feat so I've got proficiency with improvised and-slash-or unconventional weapons!”

 He snorts. “That'll definitely hit, roll damage.”

 Steph picks up her D4 and rolls it, getting a 3. “Do with my strength modifier and Rage damage, that's ten damage! And uh, that's the end of my turn!”

 Tim scribbles down the damage taken, he then checks his notes quickly. “The sugary cheese-covered Flameskull starts to cackle madly. It casts fireball on the party, everyone make dexterity saving throws.”

 On cue, everyone in the party rolls their D20s. Tikki rolls an 18, Damian and Marinette both roll 16s, and Dick rolls a 4.

 Before Bruce rolls his dice, he proclaims, “I'd like to use evasion!” He then rolls and gets a 5. “Fourteen total.”

 “Evasion too!” Cass declares with a smile, she rolls her D20, getting 18. She then signs her result, ‘twenty-seven

 “Shit!” Jason mutters, staring at his roll of 2.

 “Nat one?” Tim questions.

 Jason shakes his head. “Natural two, so seven total.”

 “I also got seven,” Dick adds.

 “Seventeen,” Damian announces.

 “I rolled a nineteen and Tikki rolled a twenty-two.” Marinette pipes up.

 Steph frowns at her roll of nine. “Eleven…” She glances at her character sheet again. “Wait, no! I get advantage on dexterity saving throws!” She shakes the dice in her hands and blows on it for good luck, then rolls it into the dice box. It lands on an 18. Fist pumping the air, she cheers. “Yes! Dirty twenty, fuck yeah!”

 “Alright. Niriwyse and Rehodros both take…” Tim rolls a D6 eight times, behind the DM screen. “Twenty-three fire damage. And everyone else except Chirop and Balabitara take half that, so eleven damage. And of course, Chirop and Balabitara take no damage whatsoever.”

 “Wooh,” Bruce cheers.

 “Wait a second!” Jason interrupts, triple-checking his character sheet, “I've got fire resistance!”

 “Then you also take eleven damage instead of the full twenty-three.” Tim corrects. “And that's the end of the Flameskull's turn. Tikki's up now.”

 Marinette tilts her head to the side as Tikki whispers in her again. “Tikki is going to hold her turn.”

 Tim nods. “Okay then, it's Balabitara's turn.”

 Cass smiles sweetly. “Jump and punch?”

 “Roll an athletics check then, please.”

 She rolls a 13, and signs her results, ‘eighteen.’

 “You barely manage to leap within melee range of the Flameskull,” Tim narrates. “Roll to hit.”

 She rolls her dice again, rolling a flat 17. Again, she signs her result, ‘twenty-six.’

 “That will definitely hit.” He acknowledges.

 Cass then rolls damage, gets a 4, and signs the total, ‘nine.’ She glances down at her character sheet, and then back up at Tim. “Second attack?”

 Tim nods again, still jotting down the damage taken. “Go ahead and roll.”

 Rolling again, she gets a nine, so she signs the result, ‘eighteen.’

 He hums, “That'll also hit, roll damage.”

 She rolls and gets a 3. ‘Eight,’ she signs.

 Tim chuckles, “As you punch the Flameskull twice, the skull shatters and turns into sugary and cheesy skull dust.”

 Cass grins and fist-pumps the air as the rest of the table breaks into cheers.

 “Everyone breathe a sigh of relief! Encounter over.” He comments. “And I think we've reached our halfway mark, so we'll take a quick five minutes break to grab something to eat and drink, and we'll continue on after the break.”

==–==

| Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot! Comments, likes, and reblogs are much appreciated! |

| @maribat-march2020 | | @vixen-uchiha |

[maxwalkalot]

A Tale from the Caverns of Thracia

So I was inspired to create a megadungeon open table game for dungeons and dragons. After reading through various posts on The Alexandrian about the style of play, I decided to give it a go. I had tried somewhat open table things in the past, though they failed through poor planning on my behalf. I also considered running a west marches game, but felt like a megadungeon would be better; rather than key a large hex map, I “only” keyed two levels of a dungeon. In addition, I decided to run the Caverns of Thracia, written by Jennell Jacquay for the judges guild, to save time on making a dungeon from scratch.

Armed with a key, random tables galore, and redrawn maps (complete with dynamic lighting for that dungy dungeon feel), I informed my d&d friends and organized a game. I have decided to keep a log of the various delves we go on, and perhaps I’ll go into more detail of some more behind the screen stuff too. But for now, the tale of our first delve into the Caverns of Thracia.

Delve 1

For the first expedition to the caverns, we had a party of three brave souls; Athoz the leonin fighter, Iados the aasimar monk, and the warlock Nieven (starting at 2nd level). Before leaving, they rolled up for rumours, with Athoz learning of bat nests in the caverns, so best keep light down not to startle them. He was also told to keep an eye out for strange flora, and an ear out as a strange and loud roar that was heard coming from the caves a few days ago. Iodas learnt that someone who called themselves “the Minotaur King” was leading the beastfolk, and minotaurs are occasionally seen amongst the ranks of lizardfolk and gnolls. They shared their rumours opening, and were ready to go exploring.

Reaching a large stone foundation where a temple or building complex once stood, they found a clay tablet written in a strange language. Unable to decipher it, they descended the wide steps into the caverns. They went without a light, which proved useful as they walked past the huge array of bats living in the starting rooms without disturbing them too much.

The wide entrance room had two exits, right and forward (a left passageway was blocked by a cave in). They went forward, careful not to slip on the inches of bat guano that had accumulated over time. They entered a pillared corridor, again full of bats, noticing a shattered statue at the far end as well as a fissure in the western wall. The fissure opened up to a cavern below, past the reach of their darkvision. As they were debating what to do to try and estimate the depth, Athoz and Iodas heard murmuring to the north; by the statue were a pair of doors, one spiked shut, the other one apparently with someone behind. Iodas listened carefully. While he couldn’t understand the language, they seemed cautious and were debating what to do next. They also sounded reptilian, meaning they were perhaps lizardfolk or similar.

Meanwhile, Athoz and Nieven removed the spike from the other door and had a look inside. It was a nest of large red centipedes, writhing around angry and hungry (4 swarms of insects to be precise, nothing to sneeze at for some level 2’s). Athoz debated spiking the door shut, but Nieven wanted a fight, so combat broke out. A casting of bonfire in the doorway kept the centipedes at bay as they released a volley of missiles into the horde, though eventually some braved the flames to reach food. Athoz was hit with a critical hit, taking 22 damage, his exact health (8d4 is a lot!).

As Iodas dragged away the fighter and restored him with magic (they are sun soul monk I believe), Nieven blasted away with an eldritch blast. The centipedes were emboldened by their success, and they braved the flames to flood the party. However a cone of fire from burning hands killed enough to send the survivors scattering. Those who could not escape into the fissure were finished off in the nest. And with that the room was cleared.

Meanwhile, the occupants of the other room were holding firm (a reaction roll came up as “passive”, so they were waiting to see what happened). They decided to search the nest and get out, rest up, and return later. Prodding through the nest dug up some trinkets; a brass flute, a box with a pair of copper figurines inside, and some sort of arcane stamp or symbol. Not much, but something. Spiking the other door shut, they left.

They rested for an hour outside, Athoz restoring his hit points and Nieven his spells. Iodas had a look at the other ruined buildings, well their foundations at least, and spotted a more intact structure off in the distance, some 60 or so feet from the main stairs. Investigating, it was a low stone building sealed with a thick wooden door, barred with bronze. The party convened to assess the door. No one had thieves’ tools and the lock was far too complex to dislodge with a claw or dagger. So they battered it down with crowbar and maul, and opened up a narrow staircase that led down.

The corridor was narrow, 5 feet to be precise, so they were forced into a single line. At a turn they could see that the corridor seemed to open up into a cave, though there was no floor as they seemed to be at the top end of it. Instead, a rope bridge led across to the rest of the corridor, where they could see a light and a guard, standing there in hoplite-like amour (toughened linen breastplate, spear, shield…). They called out, asking the party to state their business, and didn’t seem too amused at their response of adventurers/explorers. He called for reinforcement, and behind him a door opened up, revealing two more soldiers as well as two robed figures. As the party dithered on what to do (no one wanted to cross the rope bridge), the guard prepared to huck a javelin, though was halted by a robed man who called out to the party.

The man looked cleric-like, with long black robes, an amulet around his neck, and face painted somewhat pale and with dark rings around his eyes and black tears falling from them. He raised his tattooed hands and called out to the party with a certain cheer, announcing that the place was a sacred place of “the Dark One” and offered them safety if they wished to cross and learn more.

A quick religion check later revealed this Dark One to be some sort of god of death, fate, or mortality, worshipped by some of the local Thakian clans and petty kingdoms. They weren’t well known, and definitely not a formal religion in other parts of the world. They decided to reject the offer, and instead leave (with the priest calling “come back if you want to learn more and sate your curiosity!” at them as they left). Hopefully they won’t be too mad about the door.

Returning to the main staircase, they returned to the pair of doors and the centipede scuffle. The spiked door had been broken down, and whoever inside was gone. Inside were remains of a camp, and some of the centipede corpses had disappeared too. They decided to check out the room, namely the “ornate wall paintings” I described. Iodas found a marble head in the remains of a statue that was in remarkable door continuation, while Nieven discovered a secret door hidden behind a stone panel. He decided to blast it with an eldritch blast, failing, and Athoz stepped up to pry it open with a crowbar and some lifting.

It led to part way along a corridor. To the left, the corridor continued into darkness, though of more pressing concern was a gnoll warrior who, alerted by the loud banging of the blast, was growling at them. He was in front of a door, and others could be seen and heard behind them.

Randomness helped them here though, as while this standoff was happening, an alarm cry from further away followed by a “charge!” in Thakian. This kicked off a three way combat between the party, the gnoll guards, and a band of Thakian hoplites who had entered the caverns to drive off the gnolls. The Thakians seemed allied with the priests from earlier and, in a case of “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”, joined forces temporarily to take down the gnolls. Five gnoll warriors, two gnoll archers, five hoplites, and three adventurers. Athoz was downed at one point by arrows, and Nieven almost met the same fate was it not for a hellish rebuke that annihilated the offending archer. The hoplites protected Athoz while the gnolls were hacked down, the survivors surrendering as they were trapped in the guard room.

The sergeant leading the hoplites, a woman with the same black facial markings of the priests, spoke with the party on how to divide the spoils. She was not terribly happy to deal with adventurers, seeing the caverns as belonging to her people. Iodas and Nieven argued that they could be of use to each other, as the party could help them in fighting off the gnolls who had made their lair in the Thakians’ sacred places. She told them to speak to the priests if they wanted to work further with them, and hashed out a deal for the immediate spoils. The party could take the material loot, and she the captives (for the priests to interrogate). The party argued to take one of the captives, to ask them for information on the caverns and perhaps convince them to into joining them. The sergeant agreed, and healed Athoz to 1 hit point through some lay on hands. The hoplites left, the party hoovered up what trinkets and coins the gnolls had as well as all the weapons, and left the caverns.

While they didn’t level up, they are most of the way there. The marble head was worth the most, and the trinkets added up eventually. They also now have a captive gnoll, who Iodas is planning to treat well and try to convince into helping them navigate the caverns in the future. While the rolls haven’t been made yet, it’ll probably be likely if Iodas shows he is the stronger leader, and will reward them with gold for their service. I’m using hireling/companion morale rules and such, so they might start with a low morale, but the gnolls of the caverns are raiders and tend to follow the strongest. Those who follow the minotaur king have little concern over nations and family bonds. Other gnolls perhaps, though not these particular ones.

All in all, I’m really happy with how things went. It was my first time running for the open table, and while some streamlining could help (namely printing off all my random tables and dungeon key) I am excited to play again.

[thesunlovesmuses]

One Word (An Introduction)

Prompt: Describe each character in the works with just one word

Author’s Note: So i’m using this prompt as a sort of introduction to my characters for my short stories just in case anyone get’s confused as to who the characters used in the prompts are, or if anyone's interested in learning a bit more about them past the short stories. Unfortunately, I’m not great at drawing, so I hope the description of them will do them justice. It’ll mostly consist of My main fantasy groups. But if I feel the need to write a random piece about different characters, I’ll include them below as well. But without further ado... Here we go!

The Mylanthia Series (Main Series):

Main Characters

Katiana Pensworth (An adventurer and storyteller who’s village gets burned down at a young age and gets taken in by a wizard and his partner. Now she wishes to make her own way in the word, making her own stories and maybe finding out where her biological family is now and who attacked her village) - Peacemaker

Izax Salisca (A royal wizard and teacher at the Fabalan Academy, who takes Katiana in after her home is eradicated. He taught Katiana all he knows about basic magics and how to defend one’s self on the road.) - Practical

Azra Bhaskera (A part time singer at the Cloven Cart Tavern in Serden Village and Izax’s Partner. He taught Katiana all he knows about storytelling and acting diplomatically in a confrontation) - Pacifist

Luka Harrington (Katiana’s Adoptive brother, who was also taken in by Izax after his parents died, who happened to be the old royal wizards of the kingdom.) - Intelligent

Mylanthia’s Gods

Eerina (Goddess of Beginnings, Life, Safe childbirth & Peace) - Loving

Mophy (God of the Sun, the Day, the Sky & Mountains) - Thrill-Seeker

Kisala (Goddess of Spring, Scholars, Knowledge & Nature) - Wise

Ilmari (God of Storms, Oceans, Wild Nature & Fertility) - Irritated

Aezir (Goddess of Literature, Stories, Music & Performers) - Flirter

Amion (God of the Night, Dreams, Summer & Magic) - Imaginative

Rosdia (Goddess of Love, Marriage, Happiness & The Moon) - Silent

Hendorr (God of Commerce, Fortune, Merchants & Luck) - Frivolous 

Rasulla (Goddess of Fire, Forges, Autumn & Deserts) - Bold

Iktar (God of War, Strategy, Wisdom & Perseverance) - Cold-Hearted

Zelara (Goddess of Winter, Ice, Family & the Hearth) - Motherly

Odum (God of Endings, Death, Glory & Remembrance) - Respectful

Mylanthia’s Royalty

Lawrence Farbridge (The current King of the Kingdom of Lenoa, who walks a fine line between party animal and tactical genius) - Boisterous 

Esmerelda Farbridge (The old Queen of the Kingdom of Lenoa and Ridge’s old lover, who sadly died in the war against the Angurian Empire) - Benevolent 

Pablo Coppermore (The King’s Royal Advisor, who spends most of his time trying to keep total war from breaking out between Ridge and Andreas.) - Overworked

Leonides Angura (The Emperor of the Angurian Empire, who only thinks of the survival of his kingdom, no matter wat the effect on the others he’s supposed to be in an alliance with.) - Vengeful

Lynn Angura (The Deceased Empress of the Angurian Empire , who died after giving birth to her son.) - Angelic

Dillon Angura (The heir of  the Angurian Empire, who doesn’t agree with his father’s methods at all.)  - Meek

Parvati El-Hassam (The duchess of Al-Bascriya, and puppet to her advisor and older sister.) - Exploitable

Zena El-Hassam (Parvati’s older sister and her advisor, who manipulates her in order to enact laws that benefit her and her lifestyle.) - Tyrant

The Fabalan Academy Arc

Iris Al-Hajjar (A knight student at the Fabalan Academy of Messengers, who only wounded up there through an accident involving uncontrolled magic.) - Tomboy

Luka Harrington (A magic student at the Fabalan Academy of Messengers and Professor Izax’s Assistant.) - Intelligent

Holly Willingham (A messenger student at the Fabalan Academy of Messengers, who caused the accident that made her and Iris come here.) - Butterfingered

Asriel Talasen (A knight Student at the Fabalan Academy of Messengers, who originated from the Nation of Al-Bascriya and is the #1 fencer in the academy) - Charismatic

Finnigan Fenrir (A senior magic Student at the Fabalan Academy of Messengers, who’s said t be the best magic user of his generation.) - Untouchable

Dillon Angura (A magic Student at the Fabalan Academy of Messengers and the Prince of the Empire of Angura, who fled to get away from his tyrannical father.) - Meek

Izax Salisca (The Magic Teacher at the Fabalan Academy of Messengers and the Royal Wizard for the king) - Practical

Diamond Jack (The Message Teacher at the Fabalan Academy of Messengers, the royal jester and a spy for the king) - Deceiving

Zula Flintward (The Knight Teacher at the Fabalan Academy of Messengers and well known mercenary across all of Lenoa)  - Apathetic

Midelia (The Fairy Queen and Ruler of the Fae, who holds the barrier between the mortal and fae worlds) - Alluring

The Rebellion Arc

Allister Sutton (One of the leaders of the rebellion and Lucien’s best friend. Fighting for his home so everything can go back to normal.) - Determined

Lucien Ingleton (One of the leaders of the rebellion and Lucien’s best friend. He was also the next in line to be mayor of Serden. Fighting so everyone exiled can live in peace again) - Sorrowful

Simon Ingleton (Lucien’s little brother who likes to talk big and had a fondness for explosives and spells) - Hyper

Tobias Creede (Simon’s best friend who abandoned his home so he can camp in the woods with his best friend.) - Caring

Comet (A villager bitten by a werewolf and hunted down, as the new mayor believed he would turn and kill them all.) - Sharp

Clarissa Nightingale (A friend of Lucien’s and Allisters and the daughter of the town’s cartographer. Doesn’t trust outsiders easily.) - Protective

Eenix (The new Mayor of Serden Village, determined to completely obliterate the vision the Ingleton’s had and turn it into a solely profit based community.) - Power-Hungry

The Mylos Village Arc

Ridge Astaril (A demigod and wizard who tries his hardest to squirm out of tasks the king gives him to do, so he can work on his ascension instead.) - Ambitious

Mikhail Belleville (Head Priest of Mylos Village, who’s family moved in as soon as Miles’s moved away) - Conniving

Samuel Belleville (The son of the Head Priest, who despite the kind nature on first looks, has a strange and sinister air about him.) - Deceiving

The Roaming Angels (The best guild members in their classes)

Felicity Mayweather (A Human Bard who is welcome in the Borealis court of the fae after being abandoned there, and explores the world to bring stories back to them) - Diplomatic

Kosmeros (A Tiefling Warlock and university student who had his voice stolen after making a pact with the Prince of Frost, and now roams the world looking for a way to break the pact.) - Graceful

Blaze (A Fire Genasi Artificer who searches the world looking for rare materials and rumours of a thief stealing other artificer’s projects, wishing to put a stop to the thief before making his own Magnum Opus.) - Perfectionist

Caspien Aquilus (A Triton Monk who fled from his home under the sea with his cousin to protect soome ancients texts of their god from a mercenary who will do anything to take it from him to her client.) - Soothing

Gareth Mordecai Faolan (A Shifter Bloodhunter who’s family got killed in a bandit raid, and now uses all the cons and ticks he knows to get by and find information on the head of the bandits, so he can kill him himself.) - Trickster

Scora Criashi (An Aarokocra Ranger on a mission for the princess to disband an underground crime ring and black market.) - Attentive

Irisa Nemli (A blind Aasimar Sorcerer who literally fell from the sky to come to the mortal world, in order to find a way to control her wild magic she was cursed with.) - Scatter-brained

Keiji (A Tabaxi Rogue, born an orphan, who steals to fund the orphanage he grew up in, and who’s currently on the run from a mafia group in the capital.) - Explicit

Sidra (A Half-Orc Druid who wants to destroy the artefacts stolen from a temple in the swamp her tribe guards, so no-one can raise the monster named Iblis again) - Feral

Arlayna Doncaster (A Half-Elf Wizard who ran away from home and is on the run after her family didn’t accept her loving a member of a rival house; Safira) - Proper 

Bradir Azzanurth (A Dragonborn who became a Paladin after his dad died protecting others. Taken under the wings of his dad’s friends, he now roams the land helping everyone he meets and aspires to be just like his dad.) -Rambunctious

Fengryra Brenfyx (A Firbolg Cleric who was raised by her grandma with three other apprentices, who’s looking for a way to stop the Twilight Forest from dying and turning to ash) - Welcoming

Kruznek Honeydew (A Dwarf Fighter who left his wife and kids after his entire battalion died in a fight against a pack of Orcs and Kobolds, on a journey to find himself and get rid of the guilt he feels) - Inhospitable

Rhodelia Shiendroth (A Centaur Barbarian who was sold as a child to a gladiator house. She escaped the house along with three other gladiators and now works as a mercenary.) - Fearless

One Shot Characters:

Zephyr’s Rising (Sky Island Fantasy, based off of a book in the main series)

Zephyr Redgrove (A sky pirate who stole a ship in order to explore the archipelago) - Cocky

Petra Halton (A villager and flutist who’s parents went missing during an exploration, who wants to see if she can find them after finding her mum’s diary.) - Timid

Abbi Krivanek (Zephyr’s friend and Navigator, who’s joined his ship to make sure he doesn’t kill himself while exploring the World) - Cautious

Almac Vegner (Pirate and Treasure hunter who Zephyr hired in order to find all the best spots and to help fish treasure from out of the cloud sea.) - Charlatan 

Orion Bizeron (Animal Tracker and adopted younger brother of Tamari, who’s helping Zephyr find a rainbow coloured Phoenix). - Thoughtful

Tamari Bizeron (A cloud ray rider who adopted Orion when she found him on the street. Went with Orion to hunt down a phoenix and now acts as the ship’s gunner.) - Outgoing

Esien Perisey (A friend of Petra’s who runs the library in town, who has agreed to help Zephyr only to make sure Petra stays safe. Also the only person who can cook onboard the ship.) - Sarcastic

Ferdinand Everton (The Assistant to the council members of the Cardinal Council, who has been sent to stay aboard the S.S. Cloud Ray to keep an eye on the crew for the council) - Stubborn

Galatea Sauroak (Head of The Cardinal Council and in charge of dolling out punishments to pirates) - Reliable

Jett Palinsky (A member of The Cardinal Council, who is also the number one Cloud Ray Surfer in the Archipelago.) - Heart-Throb

Jasper Denholm (A member of The Cardinal Council who is stuck in the traditionalist ways and believes all pirates should be hung.) - Cold-Hearted

Aamina Al-Jabour (A member of The Cardinal Council who gives all of her work to other people to do so she can do what she wants instead) - Lazy

S0-L4R-1S (Space Adventure)

Kai Rutherford (The Face of the operations and Captain of the S0-L4R-1S, delivering goods and people for any faction in space, as long as they have enough coin to do so.) - Laid-Back

Erinne Briggs (The Ship’s onboard engineer and the only one in the galaxy who knows how to fix such an old and outdated ship.) - Spunky

Atul Kusari (The Onboard Weapon’s Expert who keeps pirate’s off of their back when trying to deliver goods to people.) - Eager

Rymond Heisenburg (The Navigator onboard and Zarinah’s Fiancée. The only one allowed to choose which jobs the crew goes on... ever since the accident.) - Composed

Zarinah Heisenburg (Rymond’s Fiancée who helps to create disguises for the rest of the crew when they have to do something dodgy.) - Ditzy

[forgottenrealmsrp]

Hello, I am very new to DnD and I would really like some tips on how to play and roll for certain things (Im not too good with examples) etc. etc.

Howdy! Mod Nate here coming at you with some Tips for Beginners. There’s a hell of a lot to cover that I cannot fit into one post (because, let’s be honest, that would be a nightmare), but I will try my best. So, without further ado, hold onto your butts.

The Three R’s

I find there are three main aspects to remember (and master!) when starting off in DnD or other such TTRPG’s. You can sort them into three categories: 

Rules,

Rol(l/e)s, and

Roleplaying

Of course there are heaps of other things to consider in game, but for a beginner, it can get overwhelming very quickly, so we’ll just stick to the Three R’s for now.

Rules

What better thing for a game than rules! The first thing you hopefully would have done if you were gearing up for your first game is to get your hands on a Player’s Handbook (For DnD 5e), or your RPG’s respective rulebook. Hobby stores, book stores, libraries, even video game shops might stock a physical copy of our favourite WotC volumes, but you can also secure them online wherever you may find them. 

Once you have your grubby little goblin hands on a handbook, give it to a friend, and have them read it to you. If that gets too boring, have them explain the rules in detail - you’ll need a pen and a notebook! If that is too time-consuming or - more likely - you don’t actually have any friends, you’ll have to settle for a hurried and often last-minute explanation of the core mechanics of the game, the finer details of which will be left unaddressed until you get your creative spirit crushed by your mean Dungeon Master, or local rules lawyer. 

(Remember kids, if you aren’t sure of where to locate one of these “rules lawyers”, simply talk out loud about your homebrew weapon or Pathfinder game, and they will be sure to find you!)

In this fabled Player’s Handbook you will find a fun breakdown and walkthrough of the game’s races, classes, and backgrounds, all of which you will need to read through several times and then immediately forget. Only after you have asked yourself “Which Bard School is going to make Sildaar Hallwinter not a steaming pile of crap?” for the fifth time in 10 minutes, can you move on to “equipment” and “rules”. Make sure to read these thoroughly, because you’ll learn them pretty quickly after your party’s Paladin once again forgets how many d10s to roll. It’s two, Derek. You asked the exact same question last round. 

Idiot. 

Rol(l/e)s

Once you manage to wrap your head around the rules, you get to the meat of the sandwich - rol(l/e)s. Whoever came up with this idiotic word hybrid (me) needs to report to their editor (also me) and get his ass whooped (still me). 

Now, I know you’ve gotten this far and thought “Wait, Nate, that may have rhymed but you haven’t actually given any tips yet?!??!?!?!!/1!?!?!?!?1?!???????????”. To that, I say yes (or no?), I have(n’t?) given you tips for how to play and roll for certain things, because the biggest tip I have for you is coming right up.

Wait for it.

You cannot build a dragon’s tower without strong foundations. 

Meaning: Only once you have “mastered” the rules and basics of roleplaying (and rolling!) will you be able to spread your beautiful dragon wings and soar as a damn good DnD player. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you will have to learn and remember every single mechanic or rule in the book! Because that would be a nightmare and if you can do it, you will be God. No questions asked. But hey! People make mistakes, or remember things wrong, or guess incorrectly, or even make it up as they go along. Having the handbook or Dungeon Master’s Guide on hand for these occasions will save everyone’s sanity at least once, but knowing when to draw the line between fairness and fun will make everyone’s play a whole lot better. 

So! Now that you’ve become God, rolling and role-ing (not a word) are your new best friends. And you know who makes the best friends? DICE! Just google it and have fun, kids, but remember that you have to eat and sleep somewhere warm and cozy tonight, so try not to build your hoard of shiny forbidden snacks too quickly, now. All you will need for starters is your standard 7-dice set: d4, d6, d8, d10*, d12, and d20.

*The d10 often comes in pairs to act as a percentile dice. The die with the ten’s (00, 10, 20, 30, etc.) will act as the ten’s place, and the other die will act as the one’s place. So, if you roll a 60 and a 9, you get a really funny number. If you roll a 00 and a 0, that’s 100! If you roll a 00 and a 1, however, that’s a 1. You die in game and you die in real life. Goodbye.

The handbook will tell you all the dice you will need to roll in order to both run the game, and make your character! That’s right! Maths begins even before the game does. Even Death themself cannot escape the point-buy system. Just submit. 

Stats are fun. 

What do they mean? What do they do? Who even knows what Constitution does?! I certainly don’t! But that’s where you’re in luck, bucko.

This post is already long enough without getting to the good stuff, so I’ll keep it simple. 

Strength - a measure of how well you can do stuff with your muscles. Skills like Athletics (aaaaaaand nope just athletics, huh, really? No fish-lifting skill? Huh? Cowards) will benefit from having some damn good muscles. Also you can stab stuff real good.

Dexterity - a measure of how deft, nimble, and stealthy one can be. Contributes to skills like Acrobatics and Stealth, unsurprisingly. If you can move good, you can groove good. I’d add a skill for dancing if I were you, WotC. 

Constitution - I lied before when I said I had no idea what constitution does, but it was only partly a joke. Constitution contributes to skills like not dying, staying alive, and stopping being dead. Sometimes it determines how much health you have. Sometimes it means you can drink an entire frog. Don’t ask.

Intelligence - Are you a smart cookie? Can you learn languages fluently in a short span of time? Can you destroy scores of defenceless troops with a single pillar of flame? Can you read? Are you kept awake at night by their screams? Intelligence makes you good (or not) at skills like History, Religion, Arcana, and being a nerd. Oh wait. No one is good at being a nerd. Sorry nerdlord. Also, if your intelligence is under 10, you can’t read! Just like me.

Wisdom - Not the smartest cookie in the shed? Like to eat leaves? You and me both, kid! Wisdom is a measure of your STREET SMARTS! so you can throw those nasty pervert kobolds off their rhythm. Unfortunately, starting equipment does not include a money clip. It makes you good at eating dirt and walking through forests and stuff. Also I think you can pet dogs really well?

Charisma - If you’ve ever played a bard, you would know what this is. If you haven’t played a bard, it’s not too late! Quick! Choose a Warlock or a Cleric if you want a Charisma based build! Choose the entertainer background if you must! -sigh- but if you insist, charisma is a measure of how easily you can quite literally charm the pants off a dragon. Also, sometimes you can roast people really well?

Having high skills is all fine and dandy, but the next tier of DnD player character power is owning your low skills. Have low constitution? Your tiefling is sickly or has a weak stomach! Low intelligence? Your character can’t read or write! Low charisma? You cause every single npc interaction to end with you being punched in the face. There is colour and interest in every aspect of your character, so make sure to let your character sheet represent your character as well as you can!

But how do you determine these stats?

Looking in your class description, you will see under the ‘Quick Build’ section the recommended stat scores, backgrounds and/or spells for that character. These are NOT mandatory, but I find them to be a helpful guideline for how to keep your character functional and, well, alive. Stat scores themselves can be determined a few different ways: Point-buy (I have no idea how this works but it looks like a lot of maths and that’s homophobic, so); Cascading, and rolling. 

Cascading (or at least that’s my name for it, I have no other way to describe it) is where you take the values 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, and 8 and assign each to one of your stats. For example, before adding racial stat modifiers, I could assign my barbarian’s stats as follows:

STR: 15, DEX: 13, CON: 14, INT: 8, WIS: 10, CHA: 12.

I may have a character-based reason for assigning my barbarian a relatively adequate Charisma score. Maybe he was a particularly intimidating character, or perhaps his iron-will makes his Constitution a 14. Maybe he likes to dance. You could have a particularly burly mage with a strength score of 15, just because you feel like it. Maybe your cleric is part of team sweet-flips? Or your monk could study tomes night and day to get her Intelligence to a lofty 17 points post-modifiers. Balancing stat scores so that you don’t die is awesome, but having a change to shout “YOU DO NOT SEE GROG!” and win 9 times out of 10? Priceless.

Rolling your stats is perhaps the most widely-used way to determine stats, but to be safe, ask your DM (or get crafty if you’re the DM!) about their preferred method. It’s pretty simple: roll 4d6 (the six-sided dice four times), noting down each individual roll. After four rolls, you cross out the lowest roll, and add the remaining three. Repeat five more times and you have some good good stats, bro! Don’t forget to add your racial stat modifiers before you assign your stat scores! 

Modifiers seem pretty confusing as a newbie, but there is a handy table in the PHB to help you keep track. Alternatively, you could subtract 10 from your score, and then half what you have left, making sure to round down! A score of 19 would have a modifier of +4 (19 - 10 = 9/2 = 4.5 ≈ 4, rounding down). A score of 8 would have a modifier of -1 (8 - 10 = -2/2 = -1). Pretty simple, right?

So now I think I can finally address whatever the F*$# I mean by ‘Roles’. What the heck is a role? Do you mean roleplaying? No, dear reader, I do not. A ‘role’ is what I like to call your position in the party. Because yes, on the unlikely occasion that you do manage to wrangle a group of people willing (or able) to play DnD with you, you still have to play with other kids, Derek. That means that the typical balancing applies. You cannot just have a 7-person party filled entirely by bards. Or bees. Though I would prefer the bees. Who would want 7 bards? That sounds like the start of a bad joke. 

A good rule of thumb is to make sure you have enough bases covered in the traditional party makeup that you won’t die immediately, but you also don’t have to deal with 7 goddamn bards, Derek, I swear to God-

You’ll want someone to hit stuff, someone to get hit, someone to help those who get hit, and someone to hit things when you don’t want to get hit. This could be solved any number of ways. Get creative, go hog wild. But not buck wild, Derek. I will not have the “Seven Buskateers” at my table again, do you hear me?!

This brings us to the finale. I’ve been writing this post for half an hour, and we’re finally getting to the good stuff. Thanks for stick with me so far. How about dropping your favourite stardew valley bachelor/ette down in the replies if you’ve read this far? Mine’s Elliot, because he’s beautiful and I love him, just like I love you. :3

Roleplaying!

It’s in the title! The very mechanics of the game! So, the question you’re asking me is: “Nate, how the Flippity Doo Daa do you roleplay?????????” 

And I reply, “How are you making those noises with your mouth? Where am I?! Who are you? Why can I hear each individual question mark even though they shouldn’t have a place in the mortal coil? What are you?!”

And then I tell you about my favourite thing to tell my own players. 

The easiest character to play is one that exists. So? What does that mean???

It means that YOU, my dead, dear nerd, can’t just pull a self-insert every single dang game, Damn it Derek! No one LIKES YOU! GO HOME! You have this opportunity to think of a fun, unique concept, and roll with it. So, how can you create the next Taako, or Nott, or Yashee’rak or Caduceus? 

If you have a concept to work from, that’s great! If not, start from the ground up. Who is your character? What are their likes, dislikes, loves, hates, loyalties, vendettas? I often like to establish both a backstory and a goal for them to accomplish, the simpler the better, to get you on the right track. Perhaps a Neverwinter begger wishes to open their own tea shop in Ba Sing Se? A cursed child of an angel and a demon takes it upon themself to avenge their brother’s death? A simple farm girl falls in love and follows her princess Buttercup across Faerûn? You name it!

Some good questions to ask yourself about your characters personality could also include:

What would they kill for?

What would they die for?

What would they watch someone else die for?

What are some rumours your party members would have heard about your character?

What would they think of your favourite meme?

How do they treat their mum? How would they treat your mum?

Do they have any recurring nightmares? Why?

Etc. Etc. Think of them as a real being, with thoughts and feelings and hopes and dreams and fears! The more detailed you can get in theory might help in the long run. If you find yourself deviating from these details, however, don’t sweat! That’s a character’s natural development and progression as a character! In fact, if things don’t change as you play, you might have to have a look at your play style. Loosen up. No one is one emotion their entire lives. Characters lie! They hide things and change details and cheat and steal! But they also act kindly, even randomly, and change and grow. Encourage that. Let them grow. They (and your party members!) will thank you for it!

I think that’s all I have in me for now, and oh man there are so many more things I could mention. DMing in itself will have to wait for another day, of course, but I hope this helped! I’m going to die now. 

[yourhumblebard]

So since my game last night is the most fresh in my memory, I’m going to start off my character introductions with Eliza.  Eliza Archambault is a twenty-three year old, Neutral Good fallen aasimar College of Glamour bard. But I play her in a very non-typical, high powered campaign, and she is very much a non-typical fallen aasimar. Her father is a deva named Phandriel, who’s voice she used to hear in her head when she was little, as he was her angelic guide. Her mother is named Alice. Eliza was born in Nylen Thalas, and lived there up until she was about 5 years old, a relatively normal life, though some of her memories of it are fuzzy. When she was five, Eliza was abducted by a hag, who fled with her to the Feywild, stole her inner light, and then handed Eliza over to the Fey. The Feywild is where Eliza essentially grew up, learning to be a performer. She doesn’t technically know who taught her bardic magic, only that she learned it from a (until recently) unknown source. And then, my entry to this campaign basically started with Eliza stumbling through a portal back into the Material Plane. This was when she met the majority of her party: Sirius Baskerville, human fighter. Rasegri, half-elf bloodhunter. Ravalee, half-elf sorcerer. Melisandre, human cleric. Torrin Norixius, dragonborn monk. It was not perhaps the smoothest of meetings, as Eliza had been attacked almost immediately and was bleeding out when they found her. Rasegri healed her, and they all managed to take out the man who had attacked her to begin with, but there was quite a bit of suspicion at first, since they had found Eliza in the middle of the wastelands of Dupla. In particular, Rasegri was able to sense fey magic coming from Eliza, which made him even more mistrustful of her, and resulted in him pointing his crossbow at her. An interesting meeting with the party, for sure. But she threw in with them all, and did her best to help how she could. Some interesting things were learned along the way: for one thing, Eliza does not know that she charms people with her Enthralling Performance; she’s entirely unaware and is deeply confused by the amount of attention she gets after she gives a performance for the first time on any given day. The first time she tried it was in a tavern in Wrin, and wound up with a crowd of about 200 people charmed, including some of her own party members - because 19 Spell Save DC. Rex, who plays Rasegri, always opts to make his saves against these effects with Disadvantage, which is funny, because he should technically be immune to charm effects as a half-elf. Eliza charmed Rasegri at one point without realizing it and he bought her a 500 Platinum Piece magical bracelet that only increases her charisma even further. For another thing, the first time Eliza’s wings came out was a surprise to everyone, even myself. I was expecting the skeletal, terrifying wings associated with a fallen aasimar, and I knew in my head, “Oh Eliza isn’t going to use these very often, because she’s going to be ashamed of them.” But that is not at all what happened. When Eliza used her wings, they were brilliant and rainbow colored; her eyes and hair turned rainbow colored as well. Every creature of her choice within a 60 ft. radius had to make a wisdom saving throw or be charmed by her for 1 minute, and she deals an extra amount of force damage equal to her charisma modifier (which is 7). The reason for this, from what we’ve been able to surmise, is that while in the Feywild, an archfey took a liking to Eliza - Artyx the Friendly. He’s the one, we think, that taught her bardic magic, and he is also the one who made her wings this way.  It wasn’t until later that she met the other members of her party: Senna Tathdir, eladrin ranger. Lumi the Wanderess, firbolg druid. Raziel Dedford, aasimar paladin. Senna arrived to tell Sirius (her adoptive little brother) that there was trouble with his family; we failed to save them, and wound up having to see the Baskerville’s decapitated by Sirius’ biological father. On a later mission, Senna went missing and we set out to find her, which is what we’re trying to do now - along the way, we met Lumi, and Raziel. It’s been a nice campaign, so far, though battles are always tough as hell. Sirius and Eliza have basically adopted each other as siblings; what started off as a mistrust of Eliza from Rasegri has wound up with the two of them realizing that they’re pretty enamored with each other - we recently decided to narratively explain my taking of the Magic Initiate feat as Rasegri teaching Eliza some of the warlock spells he knows, so that’s fun. It’s been especially great because, last night, I actually dealt damage in a fight for what feels like the first time ever with Eliza. Eldritch blast, I get two beams, 1d12 for each, with a +10 to hit each time, and then an extra +7 force damage to both damage rolls as long as my wings were out. I was doing between like 28-32 points of damage last night. It was pretty excellent.

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

dunking and danging: kings of all cosmos

ok my dnd game is pretty certifiably dead so im gonna post here the skeleton of the plot i had planned, if you were in my game and want to preserve your innocence then do not read further

PLAYERS

squamata, a reptilian mystic

glenjamin gogol, a elemental monk who is dwight from the office

tobi, a hobbit ranger with a giant toad friend named george

and clayface, a goblin who makes things out of clay

ACT 0: EXPOSITION

the four of them appear in the sky over throne, a weird city where the sun is chained to the ground and ultraviolence is everywhere. also, demon wasps are attacking them. they fall through the roof of a building and meet the wanderers guild: neptune, jupiter and venus. they explain that this world is ruled by an asshole named zosimos, and that he has fucked off but left four kings to rule in his absence, and that there is a prophecy about a rising star that will overthrew zosimos and rule the universe as the new king, and one of them is the rising star. they’re stuck here unless one of the kings opens a way back to their homeworlds so they agree that they might as well become kings themselves

ACT 1: THE BLEAK ACADEMY

(i originally called this the black academy and then started kicking myself halfway through when i realized i fucked up the color scheme) (this is the only arc we finished)

the first king is lord entropy, principal of the bleak academy and inventor of murder. he cannot be killed by murder, which is a problem cause thats basically how you take the title of king from someone. everyone takes a youth potion and goes undercover at the bleak academy. there were some fun classes and squamata vowed to fuck lord entropy (leading to the famous “it’s not breaking the windflower law if it’s just eating ass”). in the end they befriend his daughter desecration roseblack attaris ebrot appeka entropy (and she ends up briefly played by a guest pc) who tells them about a scroll containing entropy’s true name (i wrote kind of a cool backstory for this i may post eventually) that can compel him to do anything. so they break into the library, then break into the secret underlibrary, to get the name. then they go confront entropy in his office, have a bigass boss battle, and then one of them commands entropy to attack so he can be killed in self-defense. rejoicing! they solved the murder puzzle! a star flies from entropy’s head to rest on tobi’s brow but im sure that’s not important for now! as they’re celebrating some old drunkard comes up to tobi and asks what she thinks about death, and her response is basically “it’s not something to worry about”

ACT 2: KEEPER OF THE FLAME

They wake up with a hangover and get an invitation from lady enheduanna, who is coincidentally the next king they gotta tick off. she’s throwing a party for nemontemi, which is basically calibration/halloween/the purge, and wants them there. the wanderers suggest they go shopping to get ready, and they basically have a christmas episode shopping and having fun with each other. they get back, and as they’re falling asleep, tobi wishes that “every day could be like this” in a very imperial voice. oops! they wake up and find that they’re in a time loop. after discussing it for a while they decide to go break back into the bleak academy’s library and look for information about time shit, and find that the key to breaking a time loop is usually a person that has to change

(this is where we left off)

the plan was for them to go talk to enheduanna, who at this point has probably been through a couple loops of their time loop (only the players and the kings keep their memories through the loop) and is probably kind of pissed off. but she offers them their hearts desires if they will go and steal from hell for her: she wants the forbidden apple, the fruit of life, because her current method of immortality is fading. (i really wanted to deliver the mottom speech ok). so then its a fun montage where they have less than a day to break into the brass embassy, which is hell’s embassy in throne, and find the door that will let them into actual hell, kill the serpent guarding it, and get back. surprise! enheduanna double-crosses them and tries to kill them. presumably they kill her and one of them becomes imperator of hunger

INTERMISSION: WAY DOWN NADIR TOWN

(this is possibly where this goes but maybe not)

the wanderers get a contract from the crooked-crosses, a gang of dickensian orphan urchins. they had a special treasure: one of the sparks of divinity leftover from the dead gods. it was stolen by a thief named snuffer, who has fled to nadir, which is a mining town inside the skull of a long-dead god. its run by a mysterious guy known only as Bossman, and nobody ever comes back. so they traverse the spiral road down, pass through the stygian wall and the kerberoi, and get admitted as miners. bossman provides food, board and company scrip, so by the time you actually find anything worth selling you’re probably so deep in debt it doesnt matter. his enforcers are the vakes, vaguely batlike people who swoop overhead in darkness; and the longer you stay in nadir the more you forget, so that the oldest workers are zombies who have forgotten everything but work. theres a friendly old worker named bones who points them towards the Hole, a speakeasy run by a lady named lilac. at the hole you can buy back some memories: sunlight, fresh air, clean water, love. of course, lilac is secretly the bossman. anyways, they find snuffer, but hes forgotten who he is and where hes hidden the spark. he begs them not to kill him cause hes just a kid too, and promises to pay them off if they rescue him. hes in debt to bossman, but bossman can be tempted by a suitable wager. the spark is actually in bossman’s vault as well. im almost certain this intermission ends in a riot.

ACT 3: KASTLE KORPUSLES

(backstory: in our last campaign one of the players was herbst korpusles, a paladin who was also basically agnostic. he had a little homunculus he kept in his beard and was raising like a son, but he was kind of a bad parent, so the homunculus was growing evil and basically sucking all the evil out of him. as time went on he got smaller and the homunculus got bigger and at the end of it you could barely tell them apart. the homunculus was named squilliam but thats neither here nor there. at the end of the last campaign they slew a demon named the king in yellow who basically possessed the empress and then herbst got made king for it, cause he also had excalibur)

hadnt really hugely planned this part but basically throne is split into quarters, and one of the quarters would be like industrial england (as opposed to the rest of throne which is more like ksbd) and ruled by this multiversal warlord named king korpusles who is, surprise surprise, that old herbst. they go to confront him through his castle which is simultaneously in throne and in albion (the world of our last campaign). i was probably going to send them to go discuss with a couple of other old characters: the druid raven veaux and the warlock valentine bebe, who are probably living in a bog together. they go to confront korpusles who has turned all of albion into one big war machine but he throws the cape off his hunchback and its not a hunchback at all! its a tiny little man just sort of attached to him sucking on his blood. is he the homunculus or the original herbst? neither can remember! also the king in yellow was the previous imperator of war and thats how korpusles is zoss’ king now.  big fight, big murders. someone becomes imperator of war

ACT 4: THE APOCALYPSE SERPENT

the fourth king is kind of a problem, cause whereas the other kings were old and/or magically powerful this one is old, magically powerful and a mile-long dragon. its name is kormis, the apocalypse serpent, and it has been sleeping for ages but recently awoken due to all the hubbub. but they have a plan! throne is dotted with giant statues that are the corpses of gods and are sort of incorporated into architecture, but the wanderers have got word of one they can sort of reanimate. unfortunately its being occupied by their rivals, the most illustrious guild of judicious violence. they have to clear out the main room in the skull, then keep it clear while they perform the ritual to reanimate the god-corpse into basically a giant mecha. then they call out kormis, and have a proper mecha/kaiju battle. someone becomes the imperator of conquest. 

ACT 5: BIG ZOSS BATTLE

the sun is chained to the tower of the sun, zoss’ palace, which the angels previously refused to let them into aaaalll the way back in act 1. but now they’re kings so they can enter. they go in, and aside from angels just kinda hibernating in between missions, its... empty. no palace here! but there is some kind of teleporter pad or something. they pop up, and appear in a room looking out over a plain of fire which is otherwise very luxurious. zoss’ palace isn’t underneath the sun, it’s on the sun. also, zoss is there, lounging with some cocktails. it turns out hes been grooming them as kings to take over, cause the current batch kind of fucking suck and hes bored of doing it himself. then they fight the king of the universe on top of the sun

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #140: Vlad III (Extra)

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the cooking daddy himself, Vlad III! This build will combine the Brute Fighter and Undead Warlock to create an unstoppable juggernaut who strikes fear into the hearts of his enemies. (Also spears. He strikes spears into the heart of his enemies.)

Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: Christmas... 2!

Race and Background

Unlike your other self, you’re still a Human of the variant variety, giving you +1 Charisma and +1 Wisdom. Sometimes will is a wisdom save, sometimes its a charisma save, so you’ll be good with both. You also get proficiency with Intimidation because duh, and you get the Piercer feat. This lets you re-roll a die of piercing damage once per turn, and critical hits get an extra die of damage. It also gives you +1 Strength. 

Like a lot of other servants, you’re a Noble. (If you’re sick of this background, yell at history for only focusing on rich people.) This gives you proficiency with History and Persuasion skills.

Ability Scores

“Vlad the Impaler is somewhat terrifying” is a true statement in the sense of “The ocean’s kinda damp.” So make Charisma your highest stat for the highest intimidation bonus. It also takes a surprising amount of force to turn people into shish kebabs, so make sure your Strength is also pretty high. Third on the list of Just Vlad Things is Wisdom for an unbreakable will. It’s sad these couldn’t all be 20s, but we can fix that a little while in. You can’t wage horrific amounts of bloodshed on the populace if you get tired easily, so Constitution comes a bit later. Your Intelligence isn’t great- you’re a noble so it’s not like you’d have a bad education, we just needed other stuff more. Finally, dump Dexterity. Those spikes are cool, but they make it super easy to get caught on stuff.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: Unsurprisingly, someone with the name “the Impaler” is pretty good with stabbing people. As a fighter, you get proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as the Athletics and Survival skills.

Your Defense fighting style gives you +1 AC, and your Second Wind lets you heal yourself as a bonus action once per short rest. The secret to vigilance is knowing when to take a break. 

2. Fighter 2: Thanks to Action Surge, you can now add an extra action to your turn once per short rest. The second secret of vigilance is knowing when to bug out and stab people.

3. Fighter 3: Not gonna lie, despite your upbringing you’re still kind of a brute. The good news is this lets you use Brute Force to shove your spear even further in, dealing 1d4 extra damage with all weapon attacks. This die will grow as you level up.

4. Fighter 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Heavy Armor Master feat, rounding up your strength and reducing all nonmagical physical damage you take by 3. The third secret of vigilance is not getting hurt. Just don’t do it! It’s that easy.

5. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack each attack action, letting you cut through enemies faster than we’re cutting through these levels!

6. Warlock 1: Despite the update to your looks, you’re still getting some of your power from the legend of Dracula, making you an undead warlock. This gives you a Form of Dread that you can transform into for one minute. While transformed you gain temporary HP, once per turn you can force a wisdom save on a creature, frightening it if it fails, and you are immune to being frightened. You can use this a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus per long rest. Look, you are a pretty scary guy.

Speaking of things that recharge on long rests, there’s nothing else. 

But there are your Spells, which you cast with Charisma and have spell slots that recharge on short rests. Eldritch Blast and Sword Burst are decent enough substitutes for weapons, as long as you don’t mind them doing force damage. You can also Cause Fear to freak out people even more, and Protection from Evil and Good will help you if you get in too deep with the bigger fish. Or if your bosses try giving you a hard time.

7. Fighter 6: Use this ASI to bump up your Strength for more hitting things. Hitting things is good.

8. Fighter 7: Seventh level brutes get Brutish Durability, letting you add 1d6 to all your saves. In addition, if adding this to a death save increases it past 20, it counts as a natural 20. It’s not quite vampirism but hey, at least you’re not from Ixalan. 

9. Fighter 8: Another ASI, another feat! Grab the Resilient feat to get proficiency with Wisdom saves, and also add 1 to your wisdom score. Mind control’s no joke. Except to you, because you’re really good at ignoring it.

10. Fighter 9: Making things even more unfair for your saves, this level makes you Indomitable, letting you re-roll a failed save once per long rest.

11. Warlock 2: Bouncing back to warlock for a bit more goodies. Eldritch Invocations customize your vampire experience, with Devil’s Sight giving you darkvision for your dumb human eyes and Agonizing Blast making your eldritch spears a bit more of a match for the real ones.

You can also cast Comprehend Languages, because despite being a medieval warlord you can still go to modern Japan and not be horribly confused.

12. Fighter 10: Tenth level brutes get a larger damage increase to their brute force, which now deals 1d6 damage. Your new Superior Technique also lets you make a Menacing Strike once per short rest, using a d6 as your superiority die. Hit somebody, and then they have to make a wisdom save (dc 8+proficiency+strength modifier) or they’re frightened of you for a round.

Have I mentioned you’re scary yet? You’re scary yet.

13. Fighter 11: Eleventh level fighters get another Extra Attack each action. Now you can kill enemies almost as quickly as describing what extra attack does got old.

14. Fighter 12: Last feat, I promise. Use this ASI to grab the Chef feat, rounding out your wisdom and making you a true cooking daddy. This gives you proficiency with cook’s utensils, and as part of a short rest you can cook for the party. This gives 4 plus your proficiency bonus creatures an additional 1d8 hit points when they use their hit dice to heal. Also over the course of an hour or after a long rest, you can cook your proficiency bonus in treats. Creatures can eat a treat as a bonus action to gain some temporary hp.

15. Fighter 13: Another use of Indomitable per long rest? Why, that’s almost as unique as this level description!

16. Fighter 14: Bump up your Constitution for some more HP. Not dying- it’s what’s for dinner.

17. Fighter 15: Fifteenth level brutes learn how to land Devastating Criticals, dealing your fighter level in extra damage when you score a critical hit on a creature.

You may remember that this is the same thing that mercy monk had, and it’s still just as terrifying here.

18. Fighter 16: Use your last ASI to bump your Charisma up a bit, making you even scarier and also more magical.

19. Fighter 17: Another Action Surge per short rest, and another Indomitable per long rest. I don’t think fighter is a simple class, but I absolutely see why people would think that, seeing as they don’t get any new abilities past 9th level.

20. Fighter 18: Your capstone level makes you a Survivor. You’re not gon’ give up, and you’re not gon’ stop. This also means you gain HP each turn as long as you’re bloodied and not at 0 HP. You gain 5 plus your constitution modifier each turn.

Pros:

You’ve got two of the big three saves (wisdom and charisma) down pat, with each save at least 1d20+1d6+9, and indomitable backing you up. God help your enemies if you’ve got a paladin in the same party, because by that point you’re probably just immune to charms.

On top of that, you deal solid damage, dealing an almost critical hit each turn and even more when you do land a nat 20. Adding your level to your damage was scary on Martha, and it’s still scary here.

You have over 150 hp, an AC of 20, and constant healing. Basically, you can deal tons of damage, and are very hard to kill in the interim.

Cons:

Despite excelling at the other two saves of the big three, we dumped dexterity, and even all your save nonsense can’t fix a -1 modifier. Also, good luck going anywhere unnoticed.

Eldritch Blast is nice and all, but most of your damage is non-magical, meaning actually fighting those demons you’ve got your eye on will be an issue if you’ve got a stingy DM.

Not going to lie, the second the undead get involved, your options for joining parties gets a bit slimmer. Of course there’s nothing stopping you from putting Vlad in your game as an NPC, but it’s something to keep in mind as a player. (Of course this only made the list because picking weaknesses was pretty hard, but it still counts dammit.)