#there is one (1) version i can find but only the black version is available..... and i need a silver one obviously

[binch-i-might-be]

I so so badly want a fullmetal alchemist pocket watch but almost all versions you can buy are quartz watches and I want a mechanical one :((

I already have both a fma and doctor who quartz watch (yeah I was that kid who would show up to school sporting a doctor who pocket watch) but I just!!! don't like them!!! they feel CHEAP and the batteries are ANNOYING!!!!!

[novafire-is-thinking]

Medic, Maverick, Maniac, Murderer: Understanding Pharma

First thing’s first: I love Pharma, dearly.

In all the time I’ve spent evaluating his character, I’ve mainly focused on what can be worked out about who he is as an individual: his core sense of self, psychological drives, subjective worldview, etc.

When all else is stripped away, who is Pharma?

This treatise is the product of obsessing over Pharma, analyzing canon (and extras), and reading as many different perspectives on his character from fans across the fandom as I could find. The post is long, so for those of you who balk at the thought of reading a shortfic’s worth of Pharma thoughts, feel free to read the TL;DR (Conclusion) at the end and then decide if the full read is worth your time. Also, a premium reading experience is available in the form of the original Google Doc version.

As you read, keep in mind that this is primarily a mix of psychoanalysis, evidence-based examination, and speculation—not moral, ethical, or sociological commentary. The goal is to examine Pharma’s psychological drives and core values, and each of his appearances in the context of those. All other types of evaluation are up to readers.

Now, take your victim blaming-allergy meds (just in case); remove your black-and-white thinking caps; and leave your personal morality lenses at the door.

Psychological Drives & Core Values

Why does Pharma act the way he does? What gives him a reason to keep living? What are his personal priorities?

At the beginning of the Delphi arc, First Aid establishes Pharma as a “control freak” and someone who “thinks he’s an expert on everything.”

Now, First Aid has a habit of complaining about his bosses, but on both points, there’s canon evidence to back them both.

Expertise and Intellect

Throughout the Delphi and Luna 1 arcs, it’s established that Pharma is a skilled and brilliant doctor.

He once performed a 4-way fuel pump transplant, donating his own fuel pump in the process. (see above panel)

Later, he invented a soundbomb that left an echo laced with a virus and invented an antidote to that virus:

And on Luna 1, he was on the edge of finding a cure for Cybercrosis, based on the fact that Swerve was able to formulate a cure from his notes.

More than being a doctor, Pharma lives for intellectual and scientific achievement as a physician scientist. He feels most alive when he’s able to solve complex medical problems, and when his achievements are recognized by those whose opinion he considers important.

This is Pharma’s 'why.'

And even though he’s arrogant and enjoys praise, it’s not his primary motivation. He doesn’t need it in order to set his mind to whatever he’s interested in, although he’ll seek it from those he values most (i.e. Ratchet).

Pharma sees himself as less of a doctor, and more as a scientific innovator or medical maverick. The practice of medicine is primarily a catalyst for his creativity and intellect; it’s not an end in and of itself like it is for someone like Ratchet or First Aid.

First Aid’s observation of Pharma can be better phrased as, “[Pharma] thinks he’s an expert on everything medical”—because he’s not so driven by achievement and admiration that he’ll grovel at the feet of strangers and get good at something he doesn’t personally find interesting. The only time we see him express a desire for praise is when he’s around Ratchet—someone he holds in high regard for both personal and professional reasons. This makes sense since Ratchet is one of the only people who can give Pharma any kind of competition within what he considers to be his area of expertise.

“Each day we go to our work in the hope of discovering—in the hope that some one, no matter who, may find a solution of one of the pending great problems—and each succeeding day we return to our task with renewed ardor; and even if we are unsuccessful, our work has not been in vain, for in these strivings, in these efforts, we have found hours of untold pleasure, and we have directed our energies to the benefit of mankind.” —Nikola Tesla

Ego

Without question, Pharma has an inflated ego, but having an inflated sense of self doesn’t automatically mean a person is a full-blown narcissist or that they are totally uncaring.

Every personality trait exists on a spectrum. Yes, Pharma is arrogant, but the presence of arrogance doesn’t automatically and completely cancel out all “positive” traits. (For fun, check out studies on Dark Tetrad and Light Triad personality traits.)

People are complex. Arrogance can coexist with genuine kindness, ruthlessness can coexist with deep compassion, etc.

Whether Pharma exhibits genuine kindness is up to each reader’s interpretation of what little canon material exists, but the point is: Pharma’s arrogance doesn’t automatically rule out the possibility of authentic “positive” traits.

Controlling Tendencies

Pharma is comfortable pulling the power card and using it to dump what he sees as uninteresting parts of medical practice on those below him:

“So Fisitron’s writing about the Wreckers’ elbows now, is he?” said Delphi’s Chief Medical Officer. “Come on, First Aid - get to it. You’ve got a Fader in Row 2 downstairs.” He squeezed the air with his finger and thumb. “He’s about this far from shutdown.” —from Bullets by James Roberts

However, there’s nothing in canon indicating he’s power-hungry in a megalomaniacal sense. He’s not Starscream or Megatron; he doesn’t seek political or social power. In fact, he seems perfectly happy hiding away in a lab or medibay by himself so he can direct all his energy toward solving issues and achieving the so-called ‘impossible’ within the field of medicine:

The ways in which Pharma exercises power and control are through his expertise, and his administrative/management skills. That’s it.

Self-confidence

Pharma’s arrogance and controlling tendencies don’t seem to be a mask—like he’s trying to compensate for some sense of lack (in those areas). Yes, he fears failure, and yes, he displays some insecurity when Ratchet questions his competence. But at every other point and in every other way, Pharma is unapologetically self-confident. He’s fully self-assured of his intellectual prowess and problem-solving capabilities; he knows what he knows, and he also knows what he doesn’t know.

Pharma’s arrogance and desire for control don’t stem from a hidden lack of confidence or a hunger for power on its own. They stem from the fact that he genuinely sees himself as the best person for the work he does. He trusts himself above anyone else to solve problems that come his way—medical or otherwise (within limits).

Elitism vs. Superiority

I’ve always read Pharma as having an elitist attitude, but not in the social stratification sense:

elitist (adj.) relating to or supporting the view that a society or system should be led by an elite.

There’s no evidence that Pharma believes an elite class of people should hold the most power. Instead, Pharma’s “elitism” is actually an individualistic sense of superiority. It’s centered on him alone, and is tied to his capabilities as a physician scientist and surgeon.

Pharma sees himself as the best of the best and makes sure everyone knows it—sometimes through his words, but mostly by his conduct in the field of medicine. This, paired with Pharma’s natural temperament, doesn’t exactly make him socially popular—inside or outside of medicine:

One could argue that the “personality” Lockdown is referring to was a result of all Pharma had suffered at Delphi and Luna 1, but just as easily, one could argue he was always a bit difficult to get along with, and that his traumatic experiences merely magnified his already-present psychological patterns. Personally, I like the latter interpretation because it’s a flaw that makes Pharma a more interesting character no matter his mental state.

Everyone reacts differently to real and perceived social rejection. Some are so concerned about it that they’ll try anything to belong; others genuinely don’t care, and they continue as usual; and still others cope by shifting their mindset and developing a sense of pride in being an outsider.

There’s no evidence for this in canon, but I believe it’s within reasonable characterization boundaries to headcanon Pharma as being in the second or third category.

With either of those two mindsets, a sense of superiority can develop, or even be an inciting factor. Either someone sees themselves as genuinely superior to the majority and doesn’t mind when this alienates them from people, or they convince themselves they’re superior because the pain of accepting they were rejected for who they are is too much to handle.

Whatever the case, the point is, having an “elitist” attitude isn’t necessarily rooted in a sociological or ideological belief. Sometimes, individuals just see something in themselves that—to them—justifies a sense of personal superiority. A quick glance at Pharma’s canon appearances makes it clear he holds such a view of himself, at least to some degree.

Morality and Compassion

When Pharma first shows up in canon, he’s working at the New Institute. A lot of questionable things took place there on a regular basis—things Pharma would have been aware of, to some degree. However, his presence at the Institute doesn’t automatically mean he agreed with everything happening. Depending on how strongly someone feels about something, some people are content to disagree in silence. Not everyone who seeks employment considers it a priority that the establishment they work for aligns perfectly with their moral values. After all, there are other reasons to take a job: financial benefits, exclusive educational and career opportunities, pure convenience, etc.

I’m not here to say either way whether Pharma’s willingness to turn a blind eye to the events at the New Institute was wrong or right; that’s up to each reader to decide for themselves. However, Pharma’s choice to remain employed at the Institute for some time can say something about him as a character: his priority as a doctor and person is not to take care of everyone he encounters, or to act as some kind of moral or ethical authority.

This isn’t to say Pharma won’t ever stand up for something he regards as right or push back against something he sees as wrong, “off screen.” It’s just that everything in canon points more to a tendency to choose his battles instead of acting immediately on any moral sense the way someone like Optimus or Ratchet might.

This also isn’t to say Pharma doesn’t care about saving lives, but from what little is shown of him before Delphi, it’s hard to say how much he cared. Ratchet confirms later that Pharma was an excellent doctor for most of his life, but all that tells us is he was an excellent doctor; it says nothing about his internal attitude toward his work or patients.

However, inferences can be made based on doctors in our own world:

Being a doctor—especially one in trauma care—is far from easy. It takes a lot out of a person, and there are very few people who last in the profession for a long time. Most medical professionals fall into one of the following categories:

People possessing a strong will that’s coupled with an unwavering passion for taking care of others (the public’s favorite)

People who naturally have, or develop, an ability to switch their empathy off and on at will, or build walls around it—also possessing a strong will (the ideal)

People who naturally have a limited capacity for empathy (the one the public hates to acknowledge)

People with a strong social and professional support system (the necessary, but underutilized and underappreciated factor)

Of course, even if a person has one or more of the above, burnout can and does still happen, but individuals who have at least one have the best chances of surviving and thriving amidst the demands of the majority of medical professions.

As far as is shown in canon, Pharma never had a strong support system—either circumstantially or by choice—so something else was keeping him in medicine.

Pharma shows concern for both Tumbler (Chromedome) and Hubcap:

But even though he obviously cared enough to step in, neither instance makes a strong case for a capacity for empathy beyond the “average” or “norm.” Performing a job well is a lot different from being personally invested in the work.

Based on everything up to this point, and this later comment from Pharma, about Ratchet…

…Pharma has probably never shared the same I-care-about-everything-and-everyone view of the world. Instead, it’s more likely that Pharma holds a more rational view of his work and patients.

One of the first things learned in medicine, especially in trauma medicine, is that you can’t help or save everyone, and to hold yourself to that standard can destroy you quickly if you have a certain temperament or lack healthy boundaries for your empathy.

“There are times when it may seem as though I view sick or injured people not as living, breathing humans with feelings and emotions and people who love them, but simply as cases, as problems to be solved. And that is absolutely true. It's not that I don't have empathy, but the hard fact is that as a doctor, and especially as a trauma surgeon, too much empathy can get in the way of your job and cause you to make decisions based not on sound medical judgment but on your own emotions. Sure, I've seen things that even years later can still make me choke up when I think of them: a little girl shot and killed, a shattered young Marine who shouldn't have died but did. But you can't choke up in the ER or the operating room. To be effective as a trauma surgeon, you have to put a layer of Kevlar around your heart.” —Dr. Peter Rhee, Trauma Red: The Making of a Surgeon in War and in America’s Cities*

Pharma may have learned this difficult truth earlier than Ratchet and developed a practical way of managing his empathy that comes across as “cold.” He may have always had an ability to put up walls around his spark. Or, he may have always had little to no capacity for empathy.

The fact that the morality lock on Tyrest’s portal prevented Pharma from passing through proves he felt guilty for what he’d done, and JRO confirmed this. Therefore, it’s safe to assume Pharma had some level of empathy for his former patients, suffering moral injury when he felt he had no other option but to start killing them.

Still, looking at Pharma’s psychological drives and his behavior throughout canon, it’s clear compassionate care and morality are subordinate to his other values and interests.

*I highly recommend this book, and learning about Dr. Rhee in general. He’s a huge inspiration of mine, and one of my main sources of inspiration when writing Pharma. Level-headed and capable, strong-willed, selectively empathetic, an excellent scientist, etc. He lives for the thrill of practicing medicine both on the floor and as an expert in his field who pushes trauma medicine to new heights through his research. He also takes great pride in his hands. Seriously—the man spent an entire paragraph and a half talking about his “good hands” and how they were one of two reasons he decided to go into trauma surgery. The other reason was that he “liked action and excitement, liked the feeling of being able to walk into a tough situation and take control.” (Sounds familiar…)

Delphi

First thing’s first: we don’t know how much Pharma did or didn’t know about the DJD before agreeing to take the Delphi assignment.

That far into the war, he would have known something about the DJD and their ways of terrorizing traitors and Autobots, but for whatever reason, he took the assignment anyway. Perhaps Prowl assured him the situation on Messatine would be monitored and that the security team would be enough. Perhaps he underestimated the DJD’s capabilities, or scale of territory, and thought he would be able to handle things on his own. Perhaps Prowl gave him no choice. Maybe it was all of these and more.

Whatever the case, according to JRO, Pharma didn’t hate Delphi before the incident with the DJD.

Word of god remains a touchy subject in fandom, but in this case, it’s important because it says two things:

The DJD left the Delphi medical team alone for some time.

Being on the edges of DJD territory didn’t automatically mean isolation and harassment by their hand.

On the second point, First Aid was free to come and go from Messatine as he pleased, seeing as he attended a medical conference at Kimia five years into his assignment at Delphi:

Five years ago [mid-Delphi assignment], the leader of the Wreckers had cornered him at a medical conference at Kimia, the space station that doubled as a weapons research facility. —from Bullets

And five years after that, he was able to not only contact Springer without delay about one of Agent 113’s bullets he’d discovered in an Autobot badge…

He raced upstairs to his computer terminal and typed in a certain frequency code for the second time in his life. A face appeared on the screen and grinned. “It’s me,” said First Aid. “And you're never gonna guess what I’ve got for you..!”

…but he was also able to meet up with Springer to hand off the bullet:

“Your friend has a funny way of making contact,” First Aid had said when he’d got in touch three days earlier, and he was right.

It’s not known if this handoff happened on or off world, but either way, the DJD didn’t interfere.

At some point, Tarn set his sights on Pharma and the Delphi team. Knowing the DJD, one can only imagine what Tarn used to show off his team’s capabilities and convince Pharma the best option was to cooperate.

In striking a deal with Tarn to keep the DJD away from Delphi, Pharma established his territory and ensured his continued security and the safety of his staff. As long as Tarn got his T-cogs, Pharma could continue on in relative peace. He could work his magic on bots that ended up at Delphi, carry out his management duties, and work on whatever projects or research he may have been conducting in his free time.

For whatever reason, after he first came into contact with Tarn, Pharma didn’t call for help. Communications were still operational, as Pharma wouldn’t have suggested contacting High Command about the Duobots if the team was aware of any comm malfunctions:

Also, First Aid later confirms that communications were fine until the Big Bang (soundbomb detonation):

It’s always possible the DJD was monitoring the radio waves, but secure subspace frequencies exist, such as the Datalog Network First Aid used to send the datalog containing the death statistics:

Speaking of which, assuming First Aid sent the datalog with the statistics right when things started to get ‘weird,’ and before the Big Bang shut down comms, it only took—at most—a few days for them to reach Ratchet and Swerve on the Lost Light:

But back to Pharma not calling for help: for all of Prowl’s intel, contingency planning, and fretting over the security of Autobot territories, I find it hard to believe he would have stuck an Autobot medical team on the fringes of DJD territory without giving them some means of securely contacting the outside in case of issues.

But even if Prowl didn’t give Pharma a secure way to contact him or anyone else, and even if Pharma was convinced the DJD was monitoring regular communications, there were other ways he could have reached out for help. After all, the team wasn’t alone on Messatine. Like Pharma said, Prowl continued to send bots to defend the nucleon mines:

The Autobots had been mining nucleon for millions of years at this point, so I doubt the mined nucleon was just sitting in storage on Messatine; shipments of the stuff would have been sent off-world to wherever the Autobots needed it. Why not send a message for Prowl with someone leaving with one of those shipments? A message meant only to be sent over a call when absolutely certain they were out of range of the DJD’s potential monitoring.

Or, why not order in off-world medical supplies and send a message back with the delivery bot(s)?

There are two possible answers to this. One takes into account JRO’s word on the subject; the other is more intricate and speculative on my part, but it leads to the same place. So whatever your stance is on the validity of word of god, there’s an answer for you.

Answer one (word of god)

Simple as that. Pharma was aware of the scope of the DJD’s capabilities and relentlessness, and determined he was trapped prey.

Answer two (no word of god)

There are a few possible reasons Pharma didn’t call for help right away:

He was convinced all his other options would take too long and/or would still lead to him being put under suspicion. After all, being found to have harvested even a single T-cog from an already-dead patient for the DJD could have raised concerns that would lead to Pharma being investigated and/or having a mark put on his record.

He underestimated the severity of Tarn’s addiction, and was certain he could keep up with the T-cog demand without resorting to other means of harvesting, not realizing Tarn’s quota would increase later on.

He was already paranoid as a result of whatever mind games Tarn had set in motion at their first meeting, making Pharma think escape was futile.

Word of god or no word of god, there are clear reasons as to why Pharma ended up trapped. Most likely, it was a mix of all of the above.

Whatever was going on in Pharma’s mind before, he ended up in deeper trouble. Tarn increased his demand for T-cogs, and Pharma couldn’t keep up. By the time this happened, even if he had wanted to call for help, it was too late to do so without implicating himself. He reasoned his only option was to start killing patients to harvest their T-cogs.

Soon, Pharma was so consumed with fretting over whether he’d be able to meet Tarn’s next demand that he didn’t have time or freedom to do anything else except worry and feel guilty. His whole life revolved around Tarn’s addiction; he was no longer in control, and could no longer enjoy whatever it was about Delphi he’d previously enjoyed. Perhaps the facility itself enabled Pharma to research cures and perform scientific miracles of medicine.

Being at the mercy of Tarn—convinced the DJD would find him no matter what—would have been pure psychological torture on its own, but also knowing that any small chance he did have of getting help would end in him losing everything would have added to his suffering. Pharma became desperate to reclaim control over his life and began planning an escape.

Now, JRO has said that Pharma didn’t originally plan to use the rust plague on the DJD…but canon says otherwise:

Of course, Pharma could have been lying to make himself look better in Ratchet’s view, but based on everything he’d been through up to this point with Tarn, it’s more likely he was telling the truth and had tried to eliminate the source of his suffering first. After all, wiping out the DJD would have been the simpler, cleaner option.

When the Duobots refused to detonate the soundbomb near the DJD, Pharma’s objectives shifted. He had to get Delphi shut down in a way that would:

Convince the DJD the shutdown was legitimate.

Pharma knew chances of escaping the DJD at all were slim to none, but he was desperate. Getting Delphi shut down would cut off Tarn’s supply of T-cogs and allow Pharma to escape Tarn’s immediate control, but the shutdown had to be “legitimate” to prevent Tarn from retaliating and hunting him down later. Leaving Tarn even the slightest chance of regaining control was too risky, so Pharma had to make sure his plan was as airtight as possible. 

Cover up the patient murders.

If the truth got out about Pharma killing patients, he’d lose his medical license and most likely be put away for life. Being cut off from the practice of medicine and his intellectually stimulating work as a doctor would mean losing more than a job and a reputation. It would mean losing everything in which he’d anchored his sense of identity and life’s meaning. His refusal to consider any other options wasn’t just about ego and preserving his image as an excellent doctor; it was about preserving any kind of meaningful future he saw for himself.

Pharma needed a plan that would fulfill all of the above. Turning the engineered virus on the medical facility was the most effective and efficient solution. Anything else would have made him suspicious in the view of either Autobot High Command or the DJD, and neither of those would have ended well for him.

Because of his goal to preserve his reputation and future in medicine, he couldn’t even risk revealing anything to First Aid or Ambulon, who would have seen to his ruin. They became nothing more than loose ends that had to be tied up, and based on the fact that Pharma only prepared one vial of the vaccine, his original plan involved him being the only survivor:

He probably would have had no problem making more of the vaccine for anyone else who survived, but he wasn’t counting on it. He wanted a totally clean slate; in letting his staff die with most of his patients, he would be getting rid of any and all evidence and reminders of his failures. He may have cared about First Aid and Ambulon before things got bad, but somewhere along the way, he decided either it wasn’t worth it to go through the trouble of finding a way to save them without raising suspicion, or he didn’t want to risk them putting together the pieces later on.

Of course, when Ratchet showed up, plans changed.

Ratchet

Ratchet is not the kind of person who seeks first to understand or be understanding. He’s inclined to trust what’s in front of him over anything abstract, and tends to look at the results of someone’s actions over trying to find any kind of ‘why’ behind them. Also, unlike Pharma, he operates from a strong moral sense, and reacts quickly and strongly when something or someone goes against that internal moral sense.

Ratchet’s reaction to finding out what Pharma did may seem hasty and harsh, but it makes perfect sense on a human level. There is no such thing as unconditional love; everyone has personal and moral lines (boundaries), and they’re different for each individual. When the most rigid of lines is crossed, that’s it; walls go up and the offender is cut off, no matter how strong the relationship may have been.

Ratchet obviously knew Pharma well enough to think he could try talking some sense into him, but then Pharma revealed that he’d crossed one of Ratchet’s lines: murdering patients. Any willingness Ratchet may have had to try to understand vanished. By the time Pharma started trying to provide a ‘why’ for his actions, Ratchet’s moral judgment had already shut down any chance of understanding what could have possibly led Pharma to kill patients. It didn’t help that Pharma seemed totally unapologetic and outright proud of his plan. For Ratchet, the ‘why’ didn’t matter anymore. What he saw was what he trusted, and what he saw was a friend who’d become his idea of a monster.

Now, Ratchet and Pharma’s relationship is one of the most confusing IDW relationships I’ve had the pleasure and pain of dissecting.

It is notoriously difficult to determine the depth and strength of a relationship from the outside. However, I’ve decided to go ahead and address it anyway because it has the potential to provide insight into Pharma as an individual.

If I were to sum up Pharma and Ratchet’s relationship in a single word, I would use “ambivalent.” The first time I read MTMTE, the thing that stood out to me most about their relationship was the drastic differences between how they each perceived the relationship.

In one sense, there’s the idea of Pharma basically being Ratchet’s crazy stalker ex, which is tossed around in fandom a lot. While I personally dislike seeing it regardless of context (yes, even as a joke), I do see how JRO’s writing choices set things up in a way that makes it easy to superimpose that trope.

In another sense, there’s the idea that Pharma and Ratchet were always close friends, and that what happened at the end of the Delphi story was a betrayal of both sides that came out of nowhere and whose consequences were taken too far.

I disagree with both. Personally, what I see at the end of the Delphi story isn’t an obsessed ex gone mad, a sudden betrayal, or a badly executed backstabbing. What I see is a breakdown of an already-complicated and poorly-maintained relationship: true feelings being revealed, long-repressed bitterness being forced to the surface, carefully-hidden cracks being split wide open.

Most people don’t have an accurate understanding of how much or how little they truly know the people in their lives, often overestimating how well they know a person until something surfaces and blindsides them.

According to JRO, Ratchet was oblivious to Pharma’s romantic interest, and throughout canon, it’s easy to see Pharma was more invested in the relationship than Ratchet ever was.

The question is, did Ratchet ever care about Pharma at all? And if so, to what degree?

Yes, Ratchet calls Pharma “buddy” and “friend,” but the former was sarcastic, and the latter means something different to each person. Also, in light of the circumstances, Ratchet could have just been saying “friend” in response to Pharma saying it—an emotional appeal more than anything.

However, Pharma must have been aware of Ratchet’s lack of relational investment because during the confrontation at Delphi, Pharma’s first reaction wasn’t to appeal to their friendship (ex: “But you know me!”). Instead, he appealed to their shared profession:

Then there’s the exchange of insults: 

This is what I meant earlier by “true feelings being revealed.” Ratchet may have just been trying to match Pharma’s insult, but it’s unlikely it was merely reciprocal because while Ratchet is snarky at times, he’s sincere in that snark. There’s almost always some truth in his verbal jabs no matter how unserious they seem, and he’s never cruel for cruelty’s sake.

So, if Pharma saw Ratchet as an inferior doctor, and Ratchet saw Pharma as an inferior Autobot…it’s reasonable to assume there was always some deep-rooted competition and conflict preventing them from being super close.

Possible suspicion surrounding Pharma’s conduct as an Autobot paired with a tendency to misjudge the nuances of relationships could explain why Ratchet was so quick to decide Pharma was a lost cause. Maybe Pharma’s actions at Delphi confirmed something from the past that Ratchet had brushed off for whatever reason.

In any case, Ratchet seems to have been largely unaffected by the Pharma he found at Delphi. While leaving Messatine, he emphasizes that he’ll miss Pharma’s talent.

Not “who he used to be.”

Not “what we used to have.”

Just…“his talent.”

Later, on Luna 1, Pharma mentions that he and Ratchet were inseparable, but that could mean a few different things:

Best case scenario: Pharma and Ratchet sought each other out on equal terms.

Worst case scenario: Pharma followed Ratchet around.

Somewhere in the middle: the job forced Pharma and Ratchet to work in close proximity most of the time, and while Pharma intentionally ran into Ratchet more often than necessary, Ratchet also sought out Pharma every now and then.

Whatever the case, working with someone every day doesn’t tell you anything about who they are as a person, and the amount of time spent with someone doesn’t automatically correlate to how deep the relationship is or how well the people know each other. It’s not like either Pharma or Ratchet are shown to be good at expressing their personal feelings outside of extreme circumstances. 

Ratchet does bring up late-night conversations of the past:

But while this indicates there was something deeper between him and Pharma, because neither of them were ever shown to be super open with their true feelings, it’s unlikely the conversations were full of touchy-feely talk. In all likelihood, the conversations were mostly medicine and war-related, with the rare spark-to-spark talk sprinkled in. Also, considering everything up to this point, one has to wonder if those talks ever meant anything to Ratchet, or if he was just digging for something that might stall Pharma’s torture.

Maybe those late-night conversations did mean something to Ratchet, but whatever the case, Pharma didn’t take the bait. He knew Ratchet was trying to stall by making an emotional appeal, and perhaps he was convinced the conversations hadn’t meant that much to Ratchet.

Looking at all of this, it’s hard to believe Ratchet ever cared about Pharma as more than an interesting work friend. But even if he had cared more than he let on, it wasn’t enough to overcome the doubts he had about Pharma’s character.

As for whether Pharma truly cared about Ratchet, I’m convinced he did, but in a mostly unhealthy way, and with a strong undercurrent of one-sided rivalry. At some point, Ratchet had been an equal and a source of challenge, and he probably listened to Pharma pretty often. It’s reasonable to assume Ratchet was one of the only people—if not the only person—able to handle Pharma’s intense temperament and challenge him in a meaningful way, providing some semblance of friendship for Pharma.

However, one last thing that stands out is that, when telling Ratchet why he’s torturing him, Pharma didn’t say anything like, “Because you hurt me” or “Because you turned against me—your friend.” Instead, he said it was for “ruining things at Delphi” and because “you declared war on my body.”

Either Pharma wasn’t being entirely honest, or Ratchet’s friendship didn’t mean as much in the first place as he’d previously implied. It’s possible the ‘Because you hurt me’ was implied in “for ruining things back at Delphi,” but why not say it outright? Perhaps it was a fear of vulnerability and admitting there was ever a relational need at all.

At the end of the day, it’s difficult to say for certain how close Pharma and Ratchet were, but it’s clear they were never on the same page and there were always barriers between them.

Luna 1

Revisiting the matter of Pharma’s morality taking a backseat to other priorities, his time on Luna 1 further underscores this. Again, Pharma chooses his battles and is unwilling to put himself at great risk for the sake of others, but a closer look at the situation with Tyrest reveals there wasn’t really anything he could have done for the Cold Construct population even if he had wanted to. It would have been him against Tyrest, an army of Legislators, and a bunch of Decepticons. Pharma knew his limits, and seeing as his goal was self-preservation, it was perfectly rational for him to go along with Tyrest’s grand scheme.

Besides, it doesn’t look like he was given much of a choice:

Although, knowing Pharma, he still would have demanded to know beforehand what he would get in return for the pain, and evidently, Tyrest held up his end of the deal since Pharma had access to the Luna 1 tech collection.

As for Tyrest’s plan to wipe out the Cold Construct population, there’s nothing indicating Pharma’s decision to turn a blind eye to it was rooted in malevolence or bigotry—just rational apathy: ‘I can’t stop Tyrest, so why concern myself with the outcome?’

Again, you can’t save everyone; Pharma had all he could do to save himself.

But it wasn’t all horrible. I would even go so far as to say Pharma found some happiness on Luna 1. Tyrest didn’t care about him, but he didn’t need Tyrest to care. Everyone else there hated him, but he didn’t need to feel like he belonged or was admired. At this point, Pharma’s only interest was Tyrest’s Luna 1 tech collection, and that meant playing nice so he could keep his reward. Back at Delphi, he probably assumed he’d never again practice medicine the way he’d loved; being brought to Luna 1 was an unexpected, yet welcome, second chance.

Even so, Pharma had his moments of cruelty. Back at Delphi, he had easily-identifiable reasons to kill patients—both the ones whose T-cogs he harvested and the 20 more he tried to kill when he shot the life support machine. But on Luna 1, he had no reason to be cruel, yet he chose to be. By this point, he’d mastered the ability to almost completely ignore or subdue his conscience.

In the case of Ratchet’s torment, one could argue Pharma only drew it out for retaliation purposes; it was personal for him.

As for cutting Ambulon in half, it was obviously meant to be as gruesome as possible, yet also quick. But personally, I don’t think it was about Ambulon; it was more about hurting Ratchet. Due to the fact that Ratchet’s identity is wrapped up in his compassion and his ability to be helpful as a doctor, one of the most effective acts of revenge would be to do something that makes him feel utterly helpless.

Also I wonder if, subconsciously or consciously, Pharma was attempting to recreate the sense of helplessness he felt back at Delphi under Tarn’s watch: “Do you see, Ratchet? Do you now understand how it feels to have control ripped out of your hands? To be totally helpless?”

Next, for some reason, Pharma was invested in the promised execution of Getaway and Skids:

He had no personal connection to either of them that would give him a reason to be interested, so maybe Tyrest told him he could perform the execution and/or have the corpses for medical experimentation. Either way, Pharma would have had a chance to use some of the tech in Tyrest’s tech collection, possibly explaining his excitement.

Of course, any chance of an execution disappeared when the final showdown went wrong.

When Pharma tried to escape to Cyberutopia and discovered he couldn’t pass through the spacebridge forcefield, he gave up. He’d been caught; he would no longer have access to Tyrest’s tech collection; Ratchet and every other self-righteous Autobot would never forgive him; and the morality lock prevented him from escaping. By all appearances, he would never again be able to engage in that which gave him a sense of meaning. He had shrunken his world down to his obsessive interest in a specialized field and one significant, yet unrequited relationship. With both of these lost, his world collapsed. 

Yes, guilt played a part in Pharma’s despondency, but because he seems to have been in denial of said guilt, it’s more likely his despair was primarily due to the fact that he saw no future for himself. He had nothing left to live for.

In light of this, Pharma’s flippant comments to First Aid make sense. He wasn’t being insensitive as much as he was goading First Aid. Pharma’s not stupid. First Aid had a massive rotary cannon on him, and Pharma knew exactly which emotional buttons to push to get him to pull the trigger.

Pharma wanted to die.

Adaptus

First, let me emphasize that Adaptus did not take possession of Pharma’s body. Instead, Pharma was the unwelcome guest:

How Pharma ended up in Adaptus’ new body is a mystery, but whatever the case, Pharma didn’t pass on to the Allspark. Whether or not he had a choice can only be speculated.

First Aid had blasted Pharma’s head clean off, so whatever happened must have been related to the spark. Perhaps some residual spark energy was trapped in a body part that Adaptus repurposed, leaving Pharma tethered to the new body unwillingly.

Still, Pharma managed to assert his will and override Adaptus for a brief moment. Considering Adaptus was basically a god, this is impressive.

Based on Adaptus’ surprise at being interrupted, it seems he didn’t know Pharma was there. Why Pharma hadn’t tried to assert himself sooner is a mystery. Maybe Adaptus’ scheme was entertaining; maybe Pharma actually liked the company; or maybe he’d been waiting for an opportunity to get revenge on Tyrest for everything done to him back at Luna 1.

Sure enough, just like with Ratchet back on Luna 1, Pharma’s vengeful streak came out as soon as there was an opportunity.

Unfortunately for him, this left him vulnerable, and Tyrest took advantage of the confusion:

Conclusion

When someone reduces their world to narrow personal interests and one or a few very special people, their grip tightens around what little they have. They often become obsessive and possessive of the few things that make them feel alive, and their view of the world becomes increasingly more subjective and detached from the outside world. Pharma seems to have fallen into this trap.

Even so, in the context of the circumstances, several of the decisions he made were rational—even if coldly so. Oftentimes, “extreme” rationality and self-preservation are villainized in fiction, and characters like Pharma who don’t automatically put themselves at great risk for anyone and everyone are villainized, or at least looked down on. Their choices are often regarded as less human, but rationality and self-preservation are just as human as compassion and self-sacrifice.

Ultimately, Pharma was trapped and pushed over the edge into “insanity” by Tarn’s cruelty, but his own choices made from a place of pride determined how he fell, and how far he fell. It was a perfect storm of Tarn’s mind games and Pharma’s intellectual arrogance, excessive self-confidence, obsessive nature, and stubborn grip on the kind of future he wanted for himself.

Pharma is yet another Icarus who flew too close to the sun and paid dearly for it, and while JRO/the narrative could have given this Icarus better wings, that doesn’t change the fact that he chose to fly so high.

***

Many thanks to anyone who made it to the end of this monster of a post.

-tosses a Rodimus Star at you-

[spirk-trek]

hii this is really random but i'm writting a paper on star trek fanfiction from the 60s/70s and i was wondering if there were any fics youd recommend? are there any like iconic, keystone fics that are really significant to the fandom? (i'm having a bit of trouble sourcing pre-internet fics)

Hi! I'll try to help the best I can but I am by no means an expert- in fact, many people who end up seeing this may have better/more information so I'll extend it to any of them to answer as well :)

Disclaimer: many of the following links contain nsfw content!!!

Here is page 1 and page 2 of what might be the first known k/s fanfic published in Grup fanzine (1974). Grup is credited as being the first Star Trek fanzine with adult content. This fic, A Fragment Out of Time by Diane Marchant was vague enough that it had to be clarified as k/s in a later edition, but the author did do so.

Spockanalia is always a good source for early fandom. It is the earliest and best preserved example of fanzine content (beginning in 1967 before the second season had even aired). I'd definitely say that makes it influential! So much more can be found on the internet archive and on fanlore. Copies of Spockanalia found their ways into the hands of many people involved in the show, including Roddenberry himself.

Gayle F is a prolific fanzine artist (one of my favorites) for k/s and is also influential to k/s writing. She was behind the Cosmic Fuck Series (yes really lol) which begins with Desert Heat (1976) in which Spock prematurely enters his second Pon Farr with only Jim available to him. This is the first mention (that I know of) of Spock's "double ridges" which are still a fanon element of his anatomy today (fanlore link here).

Alexis Fegan Black is another name to know, but is actually the pen name for author Della Van Hise. She did a lot of her work in the 80s and beyond, so I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but I think she's very influential. You may know about her licensed trek novel Killing Time (1982) because the first edition was recalled for being way too gay (changes between the two versions are best documented here imo).

Jenna Sinclair was very influential but again, a lot of her works came a little later than what you're looking for (note: ao3 does NOT have the correct dates, you'll need to find those separately).

A few more links to throw at you:

List of Star Trek Fanzines

List of Star Trek SLASH Fanzines

Captain's Log (1968)

The Crewman's Log (1967)

Spock's Showcase (1968)

Spock's Underground (1968-71)

The Sensuous Vulcan (slash zine, 1977)

Thrust (slash zine, 1978)

I hope all these links work and at least something I mentioned is helpful for you!! Good luck! I'd love to hear about your research if you're so inclined to share :)

[loquaciousquark]

Cazador's Ritual Runes, Translated

Inner: AMPLIFY + HIM + FLOW + EMPOWR [sic] Middle: WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE Outer: WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD [sic]

Mephistopheles can't spell for beans.

(Detailed analysis & conjecture regarding this text, the Rite of Profane Ascension, & Astarion's translated scars under the cut.)

The second ring was the easiest, as the characters are very similar to Latin letters and clearly read out "WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE." Characters were now known for C, E, F, H, I, L, O, R, T, and W. It wasn't clear yet if there were cases.

I was struggling with the first ring, though after decoding the second, I could get a likely "_M_LIF_ + _IM + _LOW + EM_OWR". Guessing the character for P, Y, and A based on context gave me "AMPLIFY + _IM + _LOW + EMPOWR", but I had doubts over the first characters for words two and three. I suspected they would be HIM and FLOW, but the H and F characters didn't match the H from the second ring's "THE" or the F from "AMPLIFY". Also, "empower" was misspelled, which made me pause.

Abandoning those for a moment, the third ring mapped well onto "WE _ATHER HERE TO I__O_E THE _OWER OF _LO_". Ruling out known letters which were not present, I could guess "WE GATHER HERE TO I__O_E THE POWER OF _LO_", but again the P from "POWER" was not the same as the P from "AMPLIFY" in the inner ring. However, it was very, very similar, and nothing else fit, so I committed, now suspecting there were capital versions of some letters included in the text.

At this point I went digging for resources. I found a copy of an Infernal alphabet on the Forgotten Realms wiki, and while it looks like the typeface Larian used is a bespoke creation for the game rather than a 1:1 copy of this alphabet, the letters for lowercase G, N, K, B, and D were nearly identical. Y (from AMPLIFY) also matched perfectly, confirming that earlier guess. This gave a clear "WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD."

This resulted in: AMPLIFY + _IM + _LOW + EMPOWR WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD

Looking at the wiki for capital letters, the only ones I could find which might reasonably fit the _IM missing character (assuming the Larian alphabet was based off this wiki typography) were A, B, H, O, T, V, and Y. Of those choices, only AIM, HIM, TIM, and VIM were words, and as cheesy as Cazador is, I couldn't imagine him saying AMPLIFY TIM FLOW EMPOWR. Given the alternatives, HIM was the only choice which made sense.

I went through the same process for _LOW, but this character seems unmatchable to me. By far it looks the most like the E from the Infernal alphabet, with maybe a capital Y being a distant second. However, ELOW and YLOW are certainly not words, and absent all other comparatives, the character in question does resemble a fancy F. Barring other languages, FLOW with a capital or unique F fits best.

AMPLIFY + HIM + FLOW + EMPOWR WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD

I did double-check the texts available in Cazador's mansion just to make sure this hadn't been translated elsewhere (after I'd done all the work, of course), and the only written text of relevance is from the Black Mass scroll you find near Vellioth's skull. It reads:

The Rite of Profane Ascension Oh, piteous dead! Oh, ravenous dead! Immortality is your gift, but darkness is your prison and hunger its gaoler. The Rite of Profane Ascension will release you. Walk in the sun. Suffer not from hunger. Grow your power beyond anything you imagined. A pact has been made with the Lord of Hellfire. Deliver unto him seven thousand souls, each bearing an Infernal mark, and you shall be free of your chains. You shall know true power. Deliver the souls. Speak the words. Ecce dominus, Has animas offero in sacrificio, Nunc volo potestatem quam pollicitus es mihi.

The Latin translates (as best I can tell with my incredibly weak Latin) to:

Behold [the] Lord, I offer these souls in sacrifice, I want the power thou hast promised me.

Which is interesting, but not clearly mapped to the Infernal above. Then I started wondering what relationship Astarion's scars have with all this, but thankfully, someone else has done the work here!

Astarion's scars have been transcribed and translated in a wonderfully detailed Reddit post by northpaw_s in 2020, but the salient points are that they appear to be in a mishmash of mangled Latin and Romance languages ("Infernal") and read:

Hoyc inferiu non iurare per igneu Naec virba loquor Eoai mundo muoat

Which appears to roughly translate to:

This soul swears no oath by fire Nor words does he speak In the realm of death

This makes sense if it's a fragment of a contract. I suspect the other spawn's scars are all identical to Astarion's for game mechanics/development reasons, but it'd be wild if they did have minor differences to complete the rest of the phrases! I know the scars don't show on their backs they way they do on Astarion's outside of the moment of the ritual, but it really does make me wonder if there's a complete text of the poem in some writer's documentation somewhere.

Anyway, what did you do with your Thursday night?

[alexawynters]

Scarlet Whispers pt. 1

Gif not mine

A/N: Title subject to change, not sure how I feel about it. This is my first published fic here so pls be gentle. Also I'm terrible at summaries.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female!Reader

Trigger warnings (let me know if I forgot to tag anything): Mentions of past child abuse, ongoing adult child abuse, stalking, horror, dubcon, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, gaslighting, angst, smut. There will be bits of fluff tho.

Rating: M. Minors DNI

Summary: For the most part swap Vision with mutant Y/N whose powers were enhanced by the Mind stone embedded in her forehead courtesy of Hydra. Takes place post Multiverse of Madness, only instead of trying to kill America Chavez, Wanda taught the teen how to control her powers and in doing so, learned how said powers worked herself, becoming able to copy them.

With her newfound powers, Wanda searches the multiverse for her lost spouse and children. She discovers a universe where Y/N exists but she and their sons do not. This aligns with her plans, allowing her to avoid dealing with another version of herself. Using her powers, Wanda intends to make Y/N love her in an attempt to rebuild their family. Whether she does so willingly, or the Scarlet Witch makes her, both are acceptable to Wanda.

Masterlist here

Chapter One

A silent scream escapes your lips as you gasp for breath. Another nightmare. Damn, that's the third one this week, and it's only Monday. Weary, you wipe the sweat from your forehead and head to the bathroom to splash water on your face. It's finals week, and you have an exam in a few hours. A quick glance at the clock shows that it's already 3AM and you groan. Maybe you can manage to get a couple more hours of sleep before the rest of the night slips away.

Lately, for some unknown reason, your troubled mind has been subjecting you to night terrors that make you question your entire reality. These nightmares have been unusually realistic, and you frequently experience more than one per night. At times, you are haunted by so many consecutive nightmares, causing your friends to wonder if you are getting any sleep at all.

The sound of your footsteps padding across the floor is the only thing you hear as you walk from your bedroom to the adjoining bathroom to wash your face. You don't bother turning on the lights since you have a nightlight in the bathroom. You've never been a fan of the pitch black darkness in the bathroom, but the bright overhead lights give you a migraine at the best of times. As a result, your bathroom is mostly covered in shadows, usually just enough for you to do what you need to do and then go back to bed. However, tonight is different. As you accidentally glance up at your reflection, your eyes nearly pop out of your head as you see a pair of glowing red eyes staring back at you from behind, causing your heart to race.

As you spin around, you raise a fist to defend yourself against the intruder, only to realize that you are alone in your bathroom. You turn back to your mirror and find yourself alone once again. It must have been remnants of the nightmare. In a hurry, you turn on the faucet's cold water tap, run your hands under it, and splash your face. Although hesitant to fully look away from your reflection for fear of the 'intruder' returning, you still want to wipe the sweat from your clammy face.

It was just a bad dream. However realistic, it wasn’t actually real. Shaking it off, you quickly close the bathroom door and head back to bed, intent on getting as much of your remaining night’s sleep as you can before your exam tomorrow. Or rather, later today. 

A few hours later, you find yourself in your usual study spot at the university. The library is your safe haven, and it's definitely your favorite place to be. Even if you didn't have to study (which you absolutely did - you were so far behind if you had any hope of graduating with honors, you needed to spend every available moment here), you would often be found here simply reading a book. Your friends and professors are well aware of your voracious appetite for reading, so if anyone ever wonders where to find you, the answer is likely to be here.

Your first exam was in an hour, and you were cramming every last bit of knowledge you could before taking said exam. You needed the highest grade possible. Your future, your escape, depended on it. It could be argued that this desperation was why you initially didn't notice the sound of children's voices reverberating through the library. While the library was usually empty, it was not uncommon for adult students to bring their children with them to study when their own childcare plans fell through. It was inconvenient, but you tried to be considerate and simply tuning it out. Another day, another distraction, and you didn't have time for it.

Eventually, the disruptive sound became impossible to ignore, and despite your desire to not be rude, you needed to focus and get your work done. With more force than strictly necessary, you slammed your book shut, preparing to find a quieter place to study. However, just as you were about to stand up, two twin boys, around ten years old, came running down the library hall, filled with laughter and giggles, heading straight towards you. Your eyes widened as you realized they had no intention of changing their course - they were definitely going to collide with you.

Opening your arms to catch them, and hopefully prevent all of you from careening onto the ground, you found yourself asking “Hey what’s all this? Where’s your mother, you guys?”

The boys looked at you, confused. “What are you talking about, Momma?”

Your eyes turned the size of saucers. “Momma”? That was new. Someone must be playing a trick on you. How ~delightful~ you thought, annoyed. As if you weren’t already stressed out enough, someone had roped in a couple of kids to play a game of fuck around and find out. Well, whomever had put them up to this, when you found them, they were about to find out. 

The library's main door swung open, revealing the presence of an incredibly beautiful woman you estimated to be in her mid thirties, with fiery red hair and the most mesmerizing emerald eyes you had ever seen. Her appearance headed straight towards you left you speechless, immediately taking all the wind out of your sails. Oh well, you were always more bark than bite, you supposed. If you thought her looks were stunning, though, they paled in comparison to the melodic sound of her angelic voice.

“Billy, Tommy, come here boys!”

"Mommy!" the twins shouted at the same time before running into her arms. Part of you wanted to scold them for clearly breaking the library's code of conduct, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it when all three of them just looked so happy. You couldn't explain why your heart clenched at the sight of them either, but for some reason, now that the initial surprise had faded, you were soothed by their presence.

You observe their interaction, not wanting to interrupt their intimate moment. Your heart ached at how comfortable the family appeared to be with one another. Once the stunning woman appears reassured about her children’s well-being, she instructs them to go play and shooing them away before redirecting her attention towards you. You feel a pleasant tightening in your chest as her warm gaze focuses on you.

Even though the children have clearly disrupted your valuable study time, you find yourself dismissing it as if it were insignificant. "Oh, it's no problem, I understand how children can be." You don't, you have never had a sibling nor a child of your own, and you have never babysat a day in your life. 

"It's just that they missed you so much, darling," she whispered, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness.

“Huh?”

She takes a step closer, invading your personal space, and begins adjusting your shirt. One of the buttons had come undone at some point, and she seems determined to fix it. Part of you wants to point out that she, a complete stranger, should not be in your personal space, let alone touching your clothing. And what did she mean by saying that her children "missed" you? You didn't know them. You didn't even know her. Warning bells start ringing in your head, as you are pretty sure this is the plot of some horror movie. You should leave. This is not a level of crazy you can deal with right now. 

"The boys missed you, Detka. It's been a long time since you've been home, so we decided to come see you!" The woman finally finishes fixing your shirt and looks up at you. Though there is warmth in her expression, there's also a hint of madness, her once green eyes tinged with red.

“I-ah… that’s great, and all but I uhh.. I have an exam coming up, I need to get going.”

“Going?”

The warmth in the woman's voice is gone, replaced by a raspy iciness that sends a chill down your spine.

"My love, the only place you need to go is home, with us, your family."

You turn to face the woman and immediately regret it. Standing before you is no longer the woman in mom jeans and a plaid shirt. Instead, she appears to be dressed in some expensive sorceress cosplay that you estimate would cost thousands of dollars to create or purchase. When... when could she have possibly changed? Just a second ago she was dressed like a normal person, right?

Slowly, you take in the sight of her. Not only has her outfit changed, but her overall appearance as well. Her cheeks hollowed, the sockets of her eyes are sunken as if she hasn't slept in weeks, and her eyes are a glowing crimson. The same shade from your nightmares.

This isn’t real. This is another nightmare. One you need to wake up from. 

“Oh absolutely fucking not.” You whisper, as you turn and run.

Unbeknownst to you, the Scarlet Witch allows you to flee. With a flick of her wrist, she could have immobilized you, could have compelled you to accompany her, whether willingly or not, but she chooses not to. The pursuit begins, and she intends to enjoy herself. You will succumb to her, and do so quite prettily. She starts walking down the hallway after you, taking her time. After all, now that she has found you, she has all the time in the world to play with you.

Grace has never been a quality that you possess. In fact, you remember a song your mother made up when you were a child specifically to remind you just how graceless you were. Not that it helps you now, as your brain never finds the appropriate time to recall useless facts. Cursing your ineptitude, you rush out of the library as fast as your legs can carry you.

 Moments later, you’re throwing yourself into every door along the hall, however, none of them open. What is wrong with this place? Why is everything locked? You don't remember the university being so fond of locking everything, but then again, you only go to about the same four places. Variety might be the spice of life, but your stomach (anxiety) prefers a milder taste.

As you run, you hear the clicking of the woman's heels, hot on your trail. Or is she really hot on your trail? It sounds as if... you tilt your head, listening. She's walking? You think to yourself that surely you can outrun a woman walking in heels. Surely. (Your asthma would suggest otherwise). Abandoning yet another locked door, you rush further down the hallway. Maybe you don't need to outrun her or find a room to hide in; after all, barricading yourself would only delay the inevitable. Your goal is to reach civilization, to find other people. Speaking of which, where is everyone? Usually, this wing of the university is bustling with activity at this hour.

Exhausted, you pause to catch your breath, hands resting on your knees, hoping that you have managed to buy yourself some time. Unfortunately, your hopes are dashed as her low, raspy voice fills the corridors, humming what sounds like a lullaby in an unfamiliar language. The eerie sound sends chills down your spine, making it painfully clear that luck is not on your side. Where could she be? She is not next to you, nor ahead, yet her voice continues to echo, sounding almost...

Almost the same moment you realize the source of the danger, a hand reaches through the mirror from behind you and grabs your shirt with an unnatural strength. You scream loudly, hoping to alert someone in the building for help, but no one comes to your aid. "What the- LET GO OF ME!" You forcefully pull your shirt from her grip, tearing it in the process, and hastily retreat down the hallway.

To your horror, you see the woman's arm brace against the wall and begin to pull herself out through the mirror. You scramble to your feet, desperate to flee once again, with only one thought repeating in your mind: "What the fuck?!" None of this could be real.

"Y/N," a low voice said in a saccharine tone. "Where do you think you're going? Don't you know that I will always find you? I have crossed thousands of universes to find you, and now that I have you, I will never let you go." In any other context, this would probably be incredibly sweet. Currently however, it only fuels your fear, sending you into a blind panic. You have to escape whatever the hell this is.

Navigating through corridor after corridor you eventually  spot one of your classmates at the end, entering the exact exam room you needed to be in that morning. It's a desperate situation, but maybe they can buy you some time while you make your escape through a window or something. It’s not a brave thought, you’re not proud of it, but survival instincts have already kicked in. 

You quickly catch up to your classmate, despite initially being so much farther behind, managing to slide into the room just after them. The proctor promptly closes the door behind you. You're breathing heavily, and in your haste, you embarrassingly just slid into the backside of your classmate, with your shirt heavily torn. You must look ridiculous, but unsurprisingly no one questions you about it, your classmate simply looking miffed and whispering an insult as they move out of your personal space. The situation would be comical if you hadn't just been running for your life.

It’s fine. This is fine. Everything’s fine. 

Steadying your breathing, you make your way to the back of the classroom, nearest the window and stare apprehensively at the door. You’re expecting any second now for that woman to come barging in, but she doesn’t, and now here you are ready for your exam. Wow you must really be losing it. Stress induced hallucinations, that has to be it.

Although you were hesitant to simply continue with your day, the world doesn't wait for anyone. Whether you actively participated or not, your proctor would still grade your exam, which your future still depended on. You made an effort to push the hallucination from your mind and concentrate on the information you had retained for the exam, aiming to achieve the highest score possible.

Once you have completed the exam, you hand it in and cautiously enter the hallway. The grades wouldn't be posted until the end of the term, but you were confident enough in your answers to believe that you had earned at least an A. Whether it was an A+ or A- was still uncertain, but you were hoping for the former. So focused were you on your test that you had almost forgotten about the incident earlier that morning. For a moment, you wondered if you should visit the university's nurse. Although she was not an actual doctor, it was a free service, and perhaps she could recommend something. On the other hand, at worst, she would suggest getting more sleep, and at best, she would advise you to see a doctor, which you couldn't afford. Not to mention the argument your parents would start regarding the doctor’s bill (as if they were above opening your mail). Perhaps not. 

You had no more exams for the day, so it was time to go home. There were chores to do for your parents, and then you had to study for tomorrow's exam. If you were lucky, you could finish everything early and get a few extra hours of sleep, hopefully avoiding another hallucination like today. Rubbing the exhaustion from your face, you head towards the bus stop. It was early enough that the bus should arrive within the next fifteen minutes, and you would be home in about an hour. Everything was going according to plan. Tomorrow was going to be a great day, you just had a feeling.

Once on the bus, your exhaustion started to overwhelm you, your headphones doing little to drown out the ambient noise. Before long, you were fast asleep. Even if you were awake, you probably wouldn't have noticed the viridian eyes in the reflection of the bus window watching over you. Unlike before, these eyes didn't appear to be of malicious intent. If anything, they seemed to observe you with care and empathy. If the volume of your headphones spontaneously happened to outweigh that of the alarm you had set for yourself to awaken you for your stop, that was just a coincidence.

A/N 2: sorry but the writers of the M.o.M. butchered her character just to have her shoehorned into a villain role so Strange would have an adversary already established in the MCU as a powerful magic user - I'm still salty about it. However Ms. Olsen's performance was phenomenal. Anyway lmk if this is absolutely trash or if you wanna maybe read more? I have a couple of chapters pre-written but not the entire thing.

Many thanks to my editors @flowers-shouldnt-die, and Brooke for helping me through this and providing valuable feedback! Especially @flowers-shouldnt-die for her assistance with translations in helping me learn both Hungarian and Russian for this. Wouldn't have made it this far in the story without you :3

[vanillaanillav]

flower symbolism in alien stage

So, we have two confirmed flowers mentioned in the series—Clematis from Round 1 and Edelweiss from Round 2—and the red flowers from the Anakt Garden. I have a few options for what those could be, so I’ll go over each option at the end. 

Of course, Clematis is the most obvious flower reference. Here’s what they look like if you’re unfamiliar. It’s a beautiful flower, available in pink and purple varieties, colors which you can find in both of their color palettes. 

They represent transformation and wisdom, the pursuit of knowledge, determination and spirituality. Very compatible with the themes of the series, and specifically of Mizi and Sua’s love for each other. They deify each other and transform each other, through meeting and knowing each other. Sua’s knowledge of their world and Mizi’s lack of it is what leads to her death and to Mizi’s subsequent transformation.

Clematis grow on vines, constantly racing up towards the sun. Sua’s sacrifice, I think, is what will allow Mizi to finally reach it.

It’s really lovely and terrible. A perfect fit for them. 

Now Edelweiss! It’s a very tough plant, but also very short-lived, and nearly impossible to get your hands on, as they’re native to the lonely peaks of the Alps. 

It’s representative of devotion, nobility, and purity, which is FASCINATING to me. There are many more romantic flowers out there, even ones with meanings specifically related to unrequited love, but Edelweiss specifically so perfectly encapsulates why I think Till likes Mizi. 

He sees her as something pure, untouched by the nightmare of their lives. She’s kinder than the others. Naive, still believing in good things like homes and friends and love. 

Even when he hallucinates her, he imagines her as a child, big-eyed and smiling—her purest form. He hates their capture. Hates living, fights and fights and fights. I think he clings to her as a symbol more than a girl by the point of the Alien Stage, devoting everything to this ideal of her, continuing to sing his confession at her even while she’s crumbled into a ball of grief. That version of her may not even really be the being he’s singing to. 

He clearly has her on a pedestal in his mind. When he loses that idol, both watches his friend lose her innocence and then his symbol of purity go apeshit and beat the hell out of their competitor, he loses everything. By the time we see him in Round 6 he’s been completely broken down by the system, never fully developing the will to live for himself, only for his Edelweiss. 

As for the red flowers…

They have five petals, with a black center. Honestly, given that one of Mizi’s likes is “artificial Anakt flowers,” which are presumably these, they're probably not intended to be a specific type of real-world flower. But I’m going to play in the sand here anyway!

Poppies have four or six petals, but they do have the dark core. Red ones specifically symbolize death and remembrance, which is… obviously fitting the themes of the series. But, the red flowers are used mostly to depict their childhoods, specifically their playful childhood love rather than their deaths. I think some of the other options are more fitting.

Geraniums are commonly red and have five petals, but no dark inside. They symbolize deceit and preference, with the red variety further meaning stupidity and consolation. Yowza!!! 

Preference is clearly applicable—Mizi and Sua choose each other to give their flower crowns to, Till makes his flower crown for Mizi. It seems like a ritual among the kids that they give their flower crowns to someone they like.

Stupidity could be for Till not noticing Mizi’s clear mutual interest in someone else, or for Ivan, either not realizing that the flower crown he stepped on was Till’s or thinking it would get Till’s attention in any other way than Till jumping him LMAO.

As for deceit or consolation… I feel like these don’t quite fit? Deceit isn’t present in the scenes with the red flowers, though maybe in Sua and Ivan’s decisions to sacrifice themselves? Consolation is unfortunately not really present in the series at all. Much to all of our collective pain and suffering.

So, petunias are my favorite option for the red flowers. They’re five-petaled and have the dark center, even if they're not as similar as poppies... just hear me out!!!

They represent two conflicting ideas—anger and resentment, and “being with you is soothing.” I think this fits all three of the pairs they’re shown in relation to. Till’s anger with Ivan in their childhoods for ruining his flower crown is pretty clear, his anger with him in general, even with the world.

Then Mizi and Sua’s reciprocated love—of course, being with each other is soothing, and Till finds Mizi soothing as well, as we covered in their section. 

I love the double meaning. I think the meanings flip as they age, as well. Mizi resents Sua for leaving her, and Till only realizes once Ivan’s gone that he did, in some way, appreciate his presence. 

Anyway I just had to get this out of my system because I have so many Thoughts about this series. Also fun tidbit: Till is said to specialize in floral art. Much to think about...

[damianbugs]

Hi I am currently poking my nose into dc comics and especially Batman.

Do you have any favorite runs that are hopefully collected in omnibus format or absolute editions?

I already have the Scott Snyder/greg cappulo run, the Paul dini run and I just bought the Batman and robin run by Peter tomasi. (Only the Peter tomasi one is unread and I liked most of the other Omni’s)

I also read a bit of the grant morrison Batman but I don’t enjoy reading him tbh.

Would love to hear your thoughts as there is no good way to currently read dc in my country, the digital versions for sale are very expensive and the subscription service is also not available in my country.

hi!!! always so happy to give comic recs!

the Batman: Black and White Omnibus is one of my all time favourites! it is an anthology collection of many different stories from the three Batman: Black and White runs (1996, 2014 and 2021) as well as some issues from Batman: Gotham Knights.

while there is no ominibus announced yet, Ram V's Batman: Detective Comics: Gotham Nocturne currently has 3 collected volumes out! there are 5 in total, but the other two don't come out until like... 2025. it's probably one of the best tec runs we've had in decades.

Batman by Jeph Loeb & Tim Sale Omnibus is a classic since it's got The Long Halloween, Dark Victory, Haunted Knight AND Catwoman When In Rome. so you get a wide cast of batman rouges and bruce and dick's early days!

also the collected omnibus for Knightfall vol. 1-3. quite possibly the best main batman arc of the 90s!!!

Batman by Neal Adams Ominibus is also really good, but since it collects issues from the bronze age (late 1960s to 1980s) people find it a bit harder to follow in its coherency. personally i think it's worth it because it collects SO MANY batman comics that adams worked on, including; Brave and The Bold, Robin, Saga of Ra's al Ghul, Batman Odyssey and so many more!

so so happy to hear you've got Batman and Robin Omnibus by Tomasi and Gleason, since that is my number one most recommended collection of all time. and don't you worry, i always avoid recommending grant morrison unless i absolutely can not avoid it 😔

i also always say that if your local library/charity shop doesn't have the comics you're looking for, pirate them on the internet! if you need specific websites, message me :) hope this was helpful! i also have a couple comic lists collected on my comic geeks you can view for free!

[tastylemonbread]

At long last, Library's bio is here! A plain text version is available under the cut.

The next god to receive a bio is being voted on now here!

Image 1:

[This one is divided into sections, kinda like a newspaper. The specific formatting isn't really relevant, and it's pretty plain anyway.

Library, #17

Domain over data, memory, and organization.

AKA The Librarian, The Archivist, The Cryptkeeper

[Next to this first section of text is a neat black and white drawing of Library's sigil, a simple symbol comprised of a 2x4 grid of eight rectangles forming a square. The borderlines of the square extend a little past the corners, and an extra line lays horizontal at the bottom of the symbol.]

(next section of text)

PRIMARY:

As old as written word, Library has sought to archive all written works, but expands their purview to include new technologies as they are invented. Though many may assume Library to be meek and nerdy, They can be quite a powerful force if they want to be, possessing abilities such as teleportation, mind reading, and spatial manipulation. It's rare to see these powers used outside of the Grand Library. Being arguably the god of information, they have quite a good understanding of the human mind, and can effortlessly transmit and receive thoughts as long as they have physical contact with the person. Even gazing into Library's odd shelf face is enough to get the mind racing, overclocked with too much miscellaneous information to process. Despite all this, Library is pretty incompetent when it comes to social interaction.

(next section of text)

DOMAIN:

Library holds domain over every written word, work of art, video, audio recording, line of code, punch card, receipt, label, stone carving, and anything else that may be used to store precious precious data. Though Library considers each of these (and more) to be fall under the umbrella of their domain, they do not have control over these. Rather, Library can simply feel when something like that is created, and a copy is set into Library's mind.

(next section of text)

REALM:

Like many other realms, the Grand Library is located on a plane of existence  parallel from standard Earth. The Grand Library does not appear to have a floor, walls, or a ceiling, instead contained within a hazy white void filled with neat rows of bookshelves. Despite there being no visible floor, one can walk around as if on solid ground. The rows of shelves go on past what the eye can see, and the place is so large that finding another visitor is incredibly rare. The only entrance and exit to the Grand Library is a set of very large fine oak double doors which connect to the lobby of the Bureau of Divine Intervention, which is the realm of another god that I won't elaborate on here. There are other ways to access the Grand Library, but those doors are the only permanent fixtures. A reception desk is by the entrance inside the Grand Library, at which Library is typically stationed. Since the Grand Library is so inconceivably large, a guide is always needed to find a specific book, and that guide is Library. They can take your hand and instantly zip you to where you need to be. The process is very disorienting, especially for mortals and those who don't regularly visit. Library can always sense where you are, and can always hear you ask for help so long as you are in the Grand Library.

(next section of text)

Relations with other gods:

good: monument, arts, drama, machine, health, hive

bad: flame, sea, war, death, rot, fear

(end of the first image)

Image 2:

[Standing in the center of the image is a tall, slim figure with one hand behind their back and the other raised to wave awkwardly. They are wearing a plain yellow raincoat that conceals most of their body, and brown gloves and boots. Their neck is long, curved, and round, made up of a thick tube of wires with a metal zip-tie keeping them in place. Their head is a cubic bookshelf, with the open side of the bookshelf acting as their face. The multicolored books within the shelf head are arranged in a way that resembles the static color bars of an old CRT TV. There are two more doodles of their head from two different angles, which are described in upcoming text so I'll leave it out here. Around the figure are bits of text that kinda correspond to various physical features of the god.]

(these are the bits of text:)

When walking, their head bobs like a bird.

head is actually a bookshelf, with four little shelves at the bottom. Library's sigil in burned into either side. On the back of their head is a little computer with some wires connected running seamlessly into the shelf.

Big weird hands. Also wires?

Seemingly normal raincoat with a reflective stripe. Nobody's ever actually seen what's under it.

in comparison to other humanoid gods, library is very lanky, standing at 7'3" (222 cm).

Leaves no footprints?

(end of the second image)

Image 3:

[This one has sentences and paragraphs placed around without much purpose. There was some empty space, so I copy + pasted the same doodle of Library laying on their stomach with their feet in the air, but I stretched out the doodles to make em look sillier.]

MISCELLANEOUS BITS:

Prayers, summons, and ceremonies are often answered with very verbose personal letters expressing gratitude, and rarely result in actual face-to-face communication.

Library has been spotted reorganizing human libraries and archives on Earth. They admit that this is a guilty pleasure of theirs, as they usually try not to get involved in mortal affairs otherwise.

All publicly available books in the grand library have been translated into a "universal script" which can be understood by absolutely anybody who is able to read in at least one language. Library is eager to teach people how to write universal script, but lessons are so long and dry that Library is still the only one who knows how to write that way.

Though Library's life is known to be well documented, they have taken efforts to seize all record of their past and politely refuses to share these records publicly.

The largest book in Library's head is actually a binder filled with articles, notes, photos, and other information about each of the gods. Library doesn't actually need to consult the binder, but they like to update it often.

Like many other gods, Library's voice is heard from a listener's POV as if it's just a voice in their own head. Library's "voice" varies depending on who hears it, but consensus seems to be that they speak gently, eloquently, and with a vaguely African accent.

Pulling on their wires isn't a good idea.

Though they appreciate Order's efforts to document and regulate godly affairs, Library finds it too much of a headache to navigate the Bureau of Divine Intervention, and tries to stay away from anything to do with it.

Miscellaneous books and scraps are always seen floating around the Grand Library, sliding into and out of shelves.

(end of third image)

This is the most I've had to describe, but lucky me, most of the images are just comprised of text. If there's any unexpected issues with this plain text version, please let me know. Even if it's just nitpicks, I'd love to hear it.

Thank you for reading/listening to my silly thing :^)

[tmntkiseki]

The very long post where I talk about all the stuff I like from each of TMNT 2003's three art styles (and nitpick at the stuff I don't)

Seasons 1 - 5

When most people think of TMNT 2003's art style, they are thinking of the first five seasons. The dark muted colors, the heavily muscled designs of the turtles, the dynamic lighting effects that change depending on the location, time of day, and the weather. But what is it about the style from the first five seasons that is just so damn tasty?

Interviews with Peter Laird reveal that in terms of the turtles' appearances for the 2003 series, while he doesn't dislike the 1987 turtles, he did find them too cutesy for his liking and described their designs as being "puffy" and "kind of inflatable." The way the 2003 turtles were designed with heavy, well-defined builds was to firmly establish them as ass-kicking superheroes capable of inhuman feats of strength and agility in combat. This is even reflected in the choice to give them white slits for eyes like their Mirage comic book counterparts, which further emphasizes just how serious and intimidating these versions of the beloved characters are meant to be.

One of the things that really does stick out with me with the turtles is the use of "shade with black." Ever since I started learning how to draw in middle school, I've always been told to never shade with black; it looks flat, the colors aren't as deep, your art will suffer for it, etc. But for TMNT 2003, the choice to shade with black is actually of benefit to the series. People love TMNT 2003 for arguably being the darkest and grittiest animated incarnation of the TMNT with a lot of scenes that REALLY pushed the limit of what was okay to show on children's television, and color choice does so much to set the tone of the kind of story you're telling. I especially love it when the shading is used to emphasize expression, like when the turtles are angry or scowling. (Pictured: Raphael during "Meet Casey Jones.")

While on the topic of shading; it's amazing how dynamic the lighting is for this series. As I mentioned earlier, depending on whether a scene takes place indoors, outdoors, underground, underwater, during the daytime, during night, in the rain, etc. the lighting changes to reflect whatever situation the characters find themselves in, whether they're in a hard fought battle with the Shredder or just relaxing in the lair. Lighting for scenes is further affected by things like monitors, candles, street lamps, and other things, and it really brings out both the characters and the environments. (Though I can imagine it was incredibly taxing on the animators, who didn't have access to the same technology that's available now.)

Obviously if I had to nitpick, one of the biggest shortcomings of the 2003 series primary art style is the fact that there isn't a lot to differentiate the turtles from each other physically. If you take away their colored headbands and weapons, the only thing you have to tell them apart is their skin colors; Leonardo is forest green, Raphael is a deep emerald green, Donatello is olive green, and Michelangelo is myrtle green. Without those differing skin tones, there really is nothing setting the brothers apart from each other other than their headbands and weapons (something that the Fast Forward and Back to the Sewer did fix to an extent.)

And this is definitely a "me" thing, but to an extent, I do find the way their builds are drawn is a bit too... bulky? I know they're mutants, that cartoon/comic book style is all about exaggeration of physical features, and that the whole point of giving them these well-defined muscles was to make them appear powerful and athletic, but I dunno man. When I think of ninjas, the first things I think of are "speedy" and "acrobatic," followed by "strong," and while you obviously need a considerable amount of muscle to wield the weapons and perform the stunts that they do, there is a point where too much muscle does ruin the idea that that these turtles are just as fast as they are strong. But, again, it's a "me" thing and I'm pretty sure there are a LOT of people who would disagree with me on this.

Fast Forward

I mentioned in my last post that, believe it or not, I actually do prefer the overall art style for Fast Forward. Why? There are certainly arguments to be made about why Fast Forward's art style is inferior to the first five seasons; for instance, the lighting isn't nearly as dynamic, the designs are simpler and not as detailed, and the overall color palette is far more saturated. So why do I like it so much?

Well, simple: It ultimately boils down to personal preference.

Given my minor ramble about how I don't like how bulky the builds were for the first five seasons, Fast Forward is (to me) an improvement in terms of how the turtles are portrayed in terms of physical appearance. They still undeniably have a lot of muscle to them, but it looks a lot more natural and I can believe they are as fast and agile as they are strong. Fast Forward was also the season where they attempted to individualize the turtles' physical appearances a little more, and while there could have been a bit more effort in that regard (like keeping the missing chunk in Leo's shell from seasons 4 and 5; seriously, why is that gone?), I think they succeeded. Donatello is the tallest and slimmest, Raphael has the most muscle and broadest shoulders, Michelangelo is the shortest, Leonardo is a nice middle ground, etc.

I also really, really love the designs for turtles' gear this season. A lot of people have mentioned how good the turtles look in black/dark colors, and they really do look more like proper ninja this season, albeit future-themed. The praise I have for the designs extends to the supporting cast and villains as well; the future setting, with all its aliens and technology, offers so much in the way of creative potential, and characters like Cody, Darius, Bishop, the Dark Turtles, and many more all have very appealing designs despite being simpler than the earlier seasons.

However, for all that I love about Fast Forward's art style, there are two aspects to it that I have a massive love-hate relationship with.

First off: The shape of the turtles' heads. They are basically pentagons/hexagons this season depending on the angle they're drawn from and this actually isn't the worst thing if you're learning how to draw the 03 turtles? Because visualizing their heads as pentagons/hexagons is actually very helpful when trying to draw them as they appear in earlier seasons. However, in the context of Fast Forward, the more geometric shapes of the turtles' heads is almost too simple and does make them a little... dopey looking at times. Which becomes even more confusing as to why they went with such basic shapes for their heads when some of the official Fast Forward art uses a much rounder style for the heads that looks SO MUCH better in comparison.

The other aspect to Fast Forward's art style that I have a love-hate relationship with is the overall color palette, which was a consequence of the season going for a lighter, more humorous tone when compared to earlier seasons. It's funny because normally I absolutely love bright, vibrant colors and it doesn't actually look bad knowing Fast Forward's tone, but given I'm one of the people who does not like how different the writing is from previous seasons and how much it affected both the storytelling and characters, obviously I want my Fast Forward turtles with darker, more muted colors. (Though keep the glowy bits. I love my glowy bits.)

Back to the Sewer

And now we get to probably the only art style from this series that I do somewhat dislike.

So, let's talk about something that was originally an issue for me, and is an issue for a lot of people who watched this season: the fact that the turtles' eyes are visible through their masks. Obviously, after six seasons of the turtles only having white slits for eyes, this change is pretty jarring and back when I first started watching Back to the Sewer, I was not happy about it either, especially with just how cutesy the eyes are (and normally I'm the biggest fan of cute; one of my favorite "junk food" anime is Acchi Kocchi, for crying out loud.)

But after actually watching Back to the Sewer, two things happened: first, I got used to the turtles having their eyes visible, and eventually I realized that this is actually to the turtles benefit. The turtles are arguably at their most expressive in Back to the Sewer, and the eyes further help individualize the turtles; Leonardo and Raphael both have smaller, more angular eyes, while Donatello and Michelangelo have rounder eyes (likely to make them look more youthful compared to their older brothers.)

I still don't totally like the 03 turtles having eyes, but again, that's probably because we literally spent six seasons with just white slits and when compared to the changes Fast Forward made to the show's art style, the ones in Back to the Sewer are even more extreme and it just feels very unnecessary. (Based on early concept art of Leonardo for the season, it looks like they were trying to mimic the style of the 2007 movie, which would explain the eyes, as well as changes to Splinter's design and April getting completely redesigned.)

THAT SAID, they did go all out with the turtles' attire for Back to the Sewer. Stuff like the cybernaut armor, the stealth suits, the goofy fantasy garb from the MMORPG they end up playing, and the tuxes they wear at April and Casey's wedding are all incredibly appealing and while, again, I don't like the lighter tone of this season, they probably wouldn't have been able to put the turtles in these outfits had it still been dark and gritty like seasons 1 - 5 (I have seen quite a bit of fanart of Donny in his Sorcerer outfit and that makes me a lot happier than you realize, haha.)

Sadly, my compliments to Back to the Sewer do end there and it's probably for the best that I end this post here anyway since it's 3:15 in the morning and I'm falling asleep at my keyboard. (I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and see just how many typos I made.)

Thank you for listening to me ramble about my TMNT 03 art opinions and have a good day/night!

[genericpuff]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CvO2Fo1vbJU/?igshid=NjZiM2M3MzIxNA==

I don't know if you have seen the last thing RS posted on instagram, and I don't wanna sound mean or like I'm criticizing every single thing she does, but, why does this feels a bit off? Like, I know every author needs money, and that's why they sell books, special editions and merch from those books. But seeing how some people who went to that last "book signing" now want to order or buy ANOTHER lo book just to get an autograph or that "exclusive doodle" feels a bit... Idk, bad? Like, the fans have to spend more money than other fans just to get this stuff? It feels a bit like what happened with that Persephone + Ares book that had a special edition that was all black, but costed more than the regular edition so the fans had to spend more money if they wanted their lo novels to look good together. Idk, maybe i'm just seeing too much into it, but I still wanted to ask your opinion on the matter.

Love your work, btw. Lo rekindled is so good, and your art is beautiful!

OKAY SO

I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS INSTAGRAM POST LOL

so I looked into it and yeah! it's off! it's super off!

story time, but there's this band I'm really into where, 1-2 years ago, they had released two new separate EP's, and they were selling them individually as special editions, only for them to then SELL THEM ALL OVER AGAIN AS BUNDLED VERSIONS AND THIS JUST LIKE

IT FEELS VERY SIMILAR LOL

there was also a time where this Youtuber musician my husband was really into was selling vinyls, and we managed to snag a copy in the hour that they were available, only for them to start selling SIGNED copies the week after they had sold out of the original prints

it's just an overall "ech" move because it really screws over your audience for paying attention/getting in first, y'know? That's what's such a big deal about being in a fandom, a lot of people like being "first" so to sell something under the precedent that it's "limited edition" just to print more with an even COOLER thing attached feels like such a fuck you. They're literally just trying to gouge more money out of people who have already bought the thing and "need" the exclusive copy.

This just goes to show btw there was nothing stopping her from signing books personally at SDCC. That feels like such a middle finger to the people who paid money to go to and be at SDCC (travel costs AND attendance costs) esp the people who cosplayed as LO characters and were clearly specifically there for Rachel just to be given a stamp and shooed away with zero conversation (as I talked about in a previous post) and then find out later after you've already gone home days later that you can get a PERSONALLY SIGNED AND DOODLED COPY if you go and buy a brand new book in one specific bookstore. That's so lame man, I can't even.

Just to add btw, not related to your ask really, but it really goes in conjunction with it, there was a tweet recently from Rachel advertising some new t-shirts.

But people who bought the shirts reported that they're INCREDIBLY cheaply made and don't look anything like the products listed. You can even see the low ratings on them but when you actually view them-

I do not feel the need to say it any louder for the people in the back, it's being spoken clearly at this point - WT and Rachel are cashing out on what little merit they have left, they do not care.

AND Y'KNOW WHAT I FOUND OUT WHILE WRITING THIS POST ????

THEY CHANGED THE FUCKING THUMBNAIL!!!

THAT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE 2 DAYS AGO, I CHECKED IT MYSELF BACK WHEN IT WAS FIRST POSTED TO REDDIT AND IT WAS THE GREEN VERSION.

THEY'RE LITERALLY CHANGING THE THUMBNAILS AND ADS TO DISCREDIT THE REVIEWS BEING LEFT.

DO NOT FALL FOR IT. BUYER BEWARE.

[swantranslations]

Fullmetal Alchemist Exhibition -Hong Kong- Highlights & Cafe Menu

Guess WHO just came back from the fma exhibition today! I am still in my serotonin rush as I type out this post. Upon a mutual's request, I am sharing highlights and key features of this time's exhibition, especially the Hong Kong-only elements. Hope this helps anyone who is considering going and wants to know more about it!

All photos here are taken by myself. (aside from the last few which are from a news report)

See also: list of available goods + pricing (to be updated)

♡♡♡♡

Obligatory Entrance Photo!

Same as the original exhibition in Japan, at the entrance, there's the 20th anniversary Ed & Al figure, a 1:1 Al statue, and an animated transmutation circle that you can pose at.

(It is very hard to get the right timing to put down your hands though, since it moves really fast xD)

♡♡♡♡

Copies of 300+ genka are shown, and as you can see here, translated versions of the comic panels are displayed underneath the framed genka copies, which I think is very nice.

Unfortunately, much like the previous Malaysia exhibit, these are not the original genkas (it's probably too risky to ship them overseas?) but seeing these copies still made me really happy and the set-up is really awesome:) (link to set-up video)

Can't forget the coloured pages, of course! There's also one original signed illustration, but you're not allowed to take pictures of it, which is a bit sad but understandable.

There are also multiple special animations; check one of them out here!

♡♡♡♡

Costumes and props from the live-action movie are also displayed. The level of detail is really really nice ^^

♡♡♡♡

HK limited photo spots (modelled by me):

I am not sure if it's 100% accurate, but from what I have heard these two photo spots are Hong Kong-only. Please correct me if I am wrong!

Left: a wall with Mei's kunai that you can pose in front of and pretend to be Ed gaining back his right arm. Absolutely impossible to take a photo there while maintaining a straight face because it is ungodly hilarious and ridiculous. 6/10

Right: Gate of Truth door curtain near the exit; Very fun to push open and act out another iconic Ed scene (video link), or sit there and speak in a mocking ominous tone. 10/10

♡♡♡♡

Cafe:

After the exhibition, you can find the cafe inside the gift shop area. There are two extra-special items and a few other snacks that you can order; Listing all food items & their prices below!

Because I didn't order the special items, the below three photos are from HK01's report on the exhibition.

Left: The Flame Transmutation Set is fish cake + yakitori, and when you order it you'll get the food in a small black box, then the staff will help you light it up when you snap at it; basically you can pretend to be Mustang and "cook" the yakitori yourself xD

Right: The (Full)metal Transmutation Drink is peach soda, but it comes unmixed; you can put it on a special table with a transmutation circle drawn on it, and the table will shake and mix the drink for you. The idea is you can make your own liquid philosopher's stone and drink it lol

I think they're both really stupid but in an endearing way I guess lmao

♡♡♡♡

It's really late so I will organize and post the list of available goods tmr :3 stay tuned!

[skaruresonic]

Even ignoring that, Oshima doesn't write the games, nor has been in the franchise for decades. His opinions have also definitely changed as well (from being annoyed by the Harmony Calendar art by other artists overly mascotting/cutifying Sonic, to blanket "they good" now cuz fondness of all 90s)

He's a good resource for dev of stuff in the initial games and inspiration for char designs, but is generally unaware of char writing besides basic traits

Though his view on Eggman being not evil evil might be cuz Sonic 1 dev Eggman being the main villain was an afterthought. And people pressure him to prioritize remembering Sonic 1/CD dev over others

But hey, took him 30 years to forget things. I can't say the same for certain writers...

And people pressure him to prioritize remembering Sonic 1/CD dev over others

Bruh I can barely remember my mindset when making OaS and it got published only a year ago. Demanding a dev recall their initial impressions of a character they helped create 30 years ago is insane.

...Anyway, I had to go find the original quote because unfortunately, people tend to misrepresent Ohshima's statements. Can't really take anyone else's word for it.

And, uh, yeah. Like the SonAmy tweet, there's quite a bit here that I have to disagree with.

First, we have the problem of thinking that villains who aim to destroy the world are automatically worse than Eggman, who "only" wants to conquer it.

Conquest under Eggman's rule would be absolutely horrible. In some instances, I wouldn't be sure if total annihilation wouldn't be a more preferable fate.

You could argue that Eggman conquering the world would end up destroying it anyway, thus rendering the comparison moot. But since that gives ground to the idea that instant destruction is worse than subjugation which results in destruction over time, I'm not going to lean too hard into it. Destruction is destruction.

The underlying assumption weakens even more when you consider the fact that not every non-Eggman villain wants to destroy the world in the first place.

Fueled by pain and rage, Chaos massacred the Knuckles clan. Regardless, it didn't destroy the entire clan, never mind the world.

Neo Metal wanted to build a robot kingdom. Not a far cry from his creator's aims.

Black Doom wanted to turn humanity into fuel and a food source. To which I must say, how is that qualitatively any different than Eggman turning animals into robot batteries?

---

Second, "Eggman protects the world" as part of his own self-interests when necessity demands. Yeah, obviously there's going to be nothing to rule if he allows the world to be destroyed and he doesn't want that. But he's not going out of his way to "protect" the world unless he has a personal stake in it and there's no other alternative. At which point, he can only be said to be pragmatic at best.

He's not doing it because he thinks he can outperform Mother Nature. I feel like Ohshima is taking Eggman's god complex too literally and thinking Eggman feels he can replace nature. Science is the means, not the objective:

He doesn't really want to replace anything; he wants to conquer and have all bend to his will, and he doesn't care if things fall into disrepair.

If he was interested in supplanting nature with his own version, why is everything falling apart in CD's Bad Futures? Where are the forests full of mechanized trees? Why are the waters polluted and not replaced with Mega Mack? This argument would imply that Eggman is also responsible for the beneficial technology seen in CD's Good Futures, and that's just backwards.

Just because he wants to slap his face on every available surface doesn't mean he has some pseudo-philosophical reason for doing so.

---

"Humans are enemies for animals."

Mr. Ohshima, I respect you, but no. Not every culture believes this. Mine doesn't. Humans have the potential to be harmful or helpful, but we are not inherently one or the other.

I think maybe what he meant to say here is that humanity's greed is the driving force behind environmental destruction, which would be a valid take in keeping with the series' overall message. Eggman does represent industry, humanity's potential for great scientific achievement and for great harm.

"Eggman wants to make the world beautiful with science and technology."

Source? No seriously, source?

This might be hair-splitting to the Nth degree, but the sense I get from this particular bit is that Eggman finds science inherently beautiful and seeks to enhance the world with it, rather than finding his own creations beautiful out of a sense of ego.

---

"He is not evil in Sonic Adventure" does not mean Ohshima is necessarily saying Eggman isn't evil in other games. And even then, it's a bit of a stretch to say he isn't evil in Adventure.

Not sure why Ohshima is bringing up SA1 as if it's particularly relevant... Although I'm vaguely reminded of a manual entry that describes Eggman as possessing no real sense of right or wrong, so he may be remembering that.

The problem with Mr. Ohshima's statements is that they are not corroborated by what the games show us. Every time Eggman has displayed remorse, it was part of a ruse - which would imply that he needs to know what contrition looks like in order to imitate it. He wouldn't brutally mock Emerl's mercy as a sign of weakness if he didn't understand it. He's not lacking in comprehension; he's actively rejecting the concept. There's a difference.

Also, this interpretation inadvertently paints Sonic in a darker light than intended given his callous disregard of Eggman, and I don't think Ohshima realizes it.

It's significant that Sonic has never looked at the camera and lamented: "Alas, poor Eggman, he knows not the error of his ways." In fact, it'd be pretty fucked-up if he thought Eggman was simply walking down a bad path, and still chose to leave him behind in explosions and ignored the guy's pleas for rescue/mercy.

The games make it clear that Eggman knows what he's doing and he just doesn't care. He calls himself "evil" in Sonic Battle. He absolutely is capable of distinguishing right from wrong, and it borders on discrediting his intelligence to imply otherwise.

Eggman has a 300 IQ and is capable of self-reflection, if we're buying the whole "muh humanizing moments" bullshit SA2 and Frontiers are selling us. It therefore strips him of his agency and infantilizes him to insist that he knows no better, even in this roundabout "oh, he's only misguided" kind of way.

Shadow was misguided in SA2. We can argue about whether he heel-face turned too quickly, but the point remains that he eventually came around.

Eggman's actions, on the other hand, have proven that even if he is misguided, he's too entrenched in his goals to consider turning the car around. So there's no real point in emphasizing the "misguided" part.

You can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't say "Eggman's finally becoming A Real Human Being(tm) through self-reflection" in one breath and "he just doesn't know right from wrong" in the next. Those two ideas are incompatible. Either Eggman knows that what he does is wrong or he doesn't. And considering how he was able to recognize his grandfather's greatness as a child, my bets are on the former.

[somepsychopomp]

Kestrel Ed AU

Part 1 of my Kestrel chimera Edward AU. Basically, this all started with Hohenheim being a chimera himself as a result of a Xerxesian alchemical experiment conducted on him when he was still just a slave- but he's a healthy one that can pass as human w/ the ability to have children of his own. Thus, Edward being born with wings and a tail.

(You can see the extensive background for this AU here). This isn't like the first chapter of a story, more like the first snippet, taking place in some amorphous time when Ed and Al are on the road together.

I hope you enjoy!

(Word count: 2,225)

+++

The last few towns they visited were all too small to consider safe. They were hardly the kinds of places to be found easily on any map, their populations never surpassing five-hundred. Perhaps such small towns would be relieving, meaning there were less eyes on them at all times. But it was harder to find a moment to themselves, as well.

One village, the last they visited, was like a miniature version of Resembool with only a few dozen permanent residents. Most of these towns did not have hotels, perhaps a hostel by the road or a kindly resident willing to put up the Fullmetal Alchemist as thanks for his assistance, but they both knew these were far too risky to keep in.

Not just because someone might start asking questions about Alphonse, the strange boy who towered over everyone else and never took off his armor, but because Brother had his own secrets as well. And between the two of them, they had been keeping Ed's for far longer.

So even though Ed tried to hide it, Alphonse knew they desperately needed to get to a town with a proper hotel equipped with private rooms. Ed was very good at hiding it, yes. He never squirmed under the eye of the public or even when there could feasibly be someone to see him do it. But Al knew.

It was in the way his brother kept his shoulders taut and spine straight as though he were on a perpetual military march, even though they were the only two walking down the unpaved road from their last village to its neighboring town of Walden. The village locals were kind enough to inform them that if they kept on this path, the very first thing they'd see was the Walden Hotel. And Al knew without question that the mental image of a hot shower and a room to themselves was the only thing keeping his brother together right now.

It only took a few hours to get there, thankfully. They traveled in complete and utter silence, another sign that Ed was desperate to finally shed his coat and bindings. Al didn't push him, but let his big brother do the talking at the hotel reception desk.

"We sadly only have one room available for tonight, Sir...and it only has one bed. Is-"

"That's fine, we'll take it," Ed said, taking back his State Alchemist watch as verification for his identity. Most respectable hotels would hesitate to rent to two unattended children without it.

As soon as their room door was shut behind them, Ed shook off his boots and headed straight for the bathroom. Al went about his usual duties of locking the door and closing all the curtains, as well as checking the sheets for bedbugs. Just in case.

All things considered, it was a nice room. Older and more rustic than the military dorms they've stayed in at East City, but Al found himself enjoying this more. The old red carpet, the scratched hardwood furniture and beaten wood floors, the small fireplace with an interior caked in ash.... it was all very homey to him.

Of course, these were only fleeting thoughts to occupy his time until the water shut off and Ed came staggering out on leadened feet. There was a towel tied around his waist as he used another to dry his hair. The very ends of his long tail feathers stuck out from under the hem of the towel, revealing some of their white coloration before terminating with their pitch black tips.

"You shouldn't let your feathers drag on the floor, Brother. You just cleaned them," Alphonse said.

"Yeah, yeah," Ed said, resting the towel around his shoulders as he stretched his arms over his head. Alphonse, from the time he was born, always loved to watch the way his big brother's wings moved with his body. Unrestrained and free as they were, Ed's wings lifted from their drooping, lax position dragging on the floor and raised with his arms. The room was large enough so that Ed could extend his wings as far as they would go, a full four-meter wingspan, as a soft trilling sound escaped his throat.

Ed dropped his arms and wings, water droplets falling from his hair and the ends of his very long flight feathers.

"Hey, Al. How's my back looking?" Ed asked, turning around.

Alphonse walked over to examine where his brother's wings, rust red in the center before dissolving into black at the edges, met the smooth plain of his back. Though his body was unable to sense hot or cold and many other things, Al memorized exactly how much pressure was required to examine his brother's wings without damaging the sensitive feathers or delicate musculature.

He felt the area around where Ed's back and wings met, checking for redness or swelling. There was nothing aside from the typical stiffness. However, he did notice that Ed had a number of small bent feathers scattered across his wings, a symptom of them being bound and kept under his coat for too long. Especially with all the trouble and fighting they get themselves into all the time.

Alphonse placed one hand on the left side of his brother's rib cage and the other hand over Ed's lesser coverts- the small feathers that covered the very top of his left wing and grew over the humerus bone, the one extending from his "shoulder" joint where the wing met his back.

"Press against my hand," Al said, though it didn't need to be said. Ed did as requested, straining his wing as hard as he could. As expected, Alphonse had to expend effort to keep his hand in place, but not much. This test was really to see if Ed had injured his wing or perhaps needed help stretching them out after keeping them bound for almost two weeks without rest. They did the same with Ed's right wing and found similar results. He was having difficulties keeping his wings up and taut. They visibly trembled even under Alphonse's admittedly gentle touch.

His brother was not weak, not in the slightest. But his poor wings never had the opportunity to fully develop their strength.

Since they had time before the hotel's food services shut down for the night, Alphonse made his brother sit down on the bed so he could tend to the damaged feathers. He was careful as he either straightened out any bent feathers, or plucked the ones that could not be saved. The small pile of damp, plucked feathers would have to be disposed of before they left.

It seemed like all Ed wanted to do was curl up under the covers, but Al made him get dressed in some proper clothes while he went to get something for his brother to eat.

(All of Ed's clothes were altered using alchemy to mirror the way their mother used to hand-make Ed's garments. The back of his shirts held horizontal slits so Ed could slip his wings through one at a time. Alternatively, if he was really tired or sore, he could simply transmute his shirts to have a vertical slit running down the back so it hung loose and open around him like a smock, before transmuting it once more to seal it back up, no effort on part of his wings required. Ed had to do less tailoring for his bottoms, just opting for high-waisted pants and tucking his tail in, running his long tail feathers down the pant leg containing his flesh limb, as Ed had no interest in his feathers getting caught in the joints of his automail.)

When Alphonse returned with a tray bearing a ham sandwich and a mug of hot tea, a nice and easy meal to eat, he found his big brother laying on the bed, on his side with his wings and tail in full view.

"Brother!" Al cried, making sure to lock the door behind him.

"What? You told me not to let them touch the floor."

At least he'd put some clothes on. Alphonse stifled a sigh as he set the tray on the table before the fireplace.

"Do you want the fireplace lit?" he asked.

"No, no, it's fine." Ed said, wandering over to the table to eat. He at least had the strength to tuck his wings against his back without needing to bind them.

Alphonse took up the chair next to Ed and watched him eat. Tonight wasn't the kind of night where he yearned for a piece of whatever meal Ed was having, but he still liked to watch his brother eat.

"You know...." Ed said, being the first to break the silence, "They're getting long and heavy again."

Oh.

"They are long." Alphonse agreed. "You think it's time?"

His metal body masked his burning displeasure and remorse as Ed nodded.

When they were boys, when their lives were as simple as they could be, their mother was the one who fed and bathed them. She played with them while their father locked himself in his study. And on nights when it was storming out and no one would be wandering by, she'd shut the curtains and push the furniture in the living room aside so Ed could stretch his wings and beat them as much as he liked. She held his hands so that he wouldn't hurt himself in his meager attempts to lift off the ground.

But it was their father made certain Edward never learned to fly. Not really, not in the way Alphonse always suspected his brother was able to if only given the chance, with the ground far below him and open skies all around.

It was their father who always kept Ed's wings and even his tail clipped. They were for Edward's safety, he said. But Alphonse knew perfectly well how much Ed resented him for it.

Alphonse had his own objections at the time, but as the baby of the family, he was never listened to, either. Unfortunately, it was undeniable that the clippings made Ed's wings a little lighter and much easier to conceal.

Among the very few belongings they kept on their person throughout their travels, one of the things in Ed's old suitcase was a heavy pair of metal scissors.

Alphonse hated the way they fit in his hand, the way they were so well polished and kept sharp by necessity.

When imagining trimming done to any captive bird, one had to imagine the hands holding the bird in place as the blades sliced off the ends of their feathers. Contrary to belief, clipping a bird's wings didn't prevent them from flying at all. They could still glide short distances, or lift themselves off the ground if they fell. But Alphonse always imagined it had to be such a demoralizing experience, regardless.

He remembers how their father used to cut Ed's wings very short. He was the one who did all the holding and the cutting when they were little. Ed never had to trim his own wings, it would be full of terribly awkward angles for him if he tried, but Al knew his brother absolutely would do it himself if he had to.

Thankfully, he didn't have to. He was sitting still in a chair, waiting as Alphonse arrived with the scissors.

Al knelt down, taking his brother's trail of tail feathers in one hand, lamenting that he now had to perform what they once loathed their father doing, but knowing there was no better choice.

"Go on," Ed said, not looking back. It made Alphonse feel just a little better as he cut off the ends of Ed's tail feathers in one clean stroke, nearly halving them in length. Any farther and he risked letting blood.

At least with him, Ed always consented. And that did make things much easier for them both.

Next, Al trimmed the long primary flight feathers on his brother's left wing. He would've been fine leaving them there, but Ed continued to hold out his faintly trembling wing and demanded Al cut off the excess from the secondary flight feathers. So he did.

He made quick work of the right wing as well. The whole endeavor only took a few minutes, all things considered. In a rush job when they had to leave their accommodations sooner than expected for whatever reason, Alphonse could cut them all and be rid of the evidence in sixty seconds. But here, he took his time and refused to let himself forget the way his elder brother flinched ever, ever so slightly as Al clipped the longest flight feather on his right wing a tad too short. No blood beaded and dripped, but he could tell Ed felt something unpleasant.

He didn't say anything, of course. Never to Alphonse.

Together, they tidied up the fragments of feathers that accumulated on the floor, as well as the small pile from before, and wrapped them in paper before placing them in the fireplace.

Al watched as his brother took the box of matches from the mantle and lit one, the orange lit dancing at his fingertips.

With his feathers no longer able to brush against the floor, Ed tossed his match into the fireplace without a second thought.

+++

Fun fact to lighten the mood- the average Lesser Kestrel wingspan is about twice the length of their body, and then some. Ed's wingspan at 4 meters/13 feet is just a little more than 2x his diminutive height at the start of the series lol.

[teaite]

hair retexture tutorial for the sims 2

i've been asked if i could write a tutorial about how i retexture hair.

disclaimer: possible grammar mistakes and/or occasional polish words on screenshots

let begin! :>

what do we need:

bodyshop

photoshop (for this one i particularly use cs5 version)

textures

cat's hair binner program

step 1:

open bodyshop and start a new project

step 2:

find the hair you want to retexture and export it. name the project something you would remember, i usually name the project after name of the hair and color that i'm currently doing.

step 3:

Go to the Documents/EA Games/The Sims 2/Projects/insert here name of your project and you can see what you've exported. there are textures, alphas and bunch of black stuff but we don't care about that one.

step 4:

open your editing software and drag adult texture (it's that one that starts with afhair or amhair)

step 5:

open the texture that your going to put on the previous one

step 6:

then drag the new texture onto a old one and adjust it like so

step 7:

if everything looks good then you ready to save it.

step 8:

refresh the project in bodyshop to check if everything looks okay

step 9:

if everything looks okay, then we can move onto next step which is making grey for elders. you simply repeat what you done before; just drag grey texture and adjust it to the original texture, save it as bmp and you're good

step 10:

for the last time refresh the project to see if everything looks good and if everything looks okey then go ahead and import it to the game

step 11:

then go to the savedsims folder and drag all of the files with the name of your project to the new folder or onto your deskop and then change the name to something more recognizable

step 12:

open the hair binner program, since we have 4 hairs we'll be binning only once. also make sure to uncheck "make backup files" and check for what age groups your hair is available bc if you don't you will end up like me and you gonna do it again to fix it

step 13:

the binning process may take a few moments so be patient. after it's done you should see this popup. just click ok

and you're done! drop your retextures to your downloads folder and enjoy new shine and properly binned hair retextures!

so that's all for now, if you have any questions feel free to ask ;>

[sketchiefoxie]

~✨Hi everyone! SketchieFoxie here with a Master Post!✨~

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜🩷

❤️Asks are open! Please feel free to ask about my AUs or simply about me ^^❤️

🏳️‍🌈This blog is an LGBTQIA+ safe place! You’re all welcome here!!🏳️‍🌈

🐢This blog is mostly a TMNT blog, as it’s my Hyperfixation lol.🐢

✏️I’ll continue to update this master post as I come up with more ideas and such, because lemme tell y’all I got some good TMNT AUs I plan on writing out, rather than letting them fester within my silly brain XD✏️

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💫~My Socials~ DeviantArt, A03, & ArtFight💫

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🌟Commission info!!🌟

Commissions are open!!

(Also, if you’re broke, but seriously freaking want art from me, just drop a color palette into my ask box, and I’ll doodle up a lil something nice ^^)

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🍄ROTTMNT Animatics🍄

• Here lemme jus • WHEEZE • If I died • Deja Vu Ch 6 •

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🦋Its Not Abuse If They're Family🦋

Mikey squinted when he saw his reflection. He didn’t look normal. The face staring back at him was incredibly familiar, like having déjà vu. Round face, freckled cheeks, orange mask, big blue eyes. Hadn’t he drawn this yokai earlier? The filmy layer on the screen crept away, starting from the outer edges, creeping towards the center, revealing the face behind. It was a turtle mutant of sorts. Big eyes, medium length black hair, yellow freckles, and an orange bandana tied around his neck. The stranger’s eyes widened as he stared at Mikey, expression full of curiosity. In a flash of blinding light, the two switch places, a Mikey and a Mikey, in two separate worlds. Or: Rottmnt Mikey swaps places with 2012 Mikey, and the two go through life changing events. Rottmnt Mikey has to help banish the Krang a second time, in a new universe, while 2012 Mikey uncovers a mystery within his newfound family, potentially tearing them apart.

Playlist that Rottmnt Mikey listens to consistency throughout the fanfic: Alan Walker 8D on YouTube

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🐢When I Was Younger🐢

“It’s a month after the invasion, and the Mad Dogs believe they’ve left the worst behind themselves. Though their whole world is shook when none other than their future selves, not Casey’s future versions, but themselves come back to the past. Something big is coming; something involving the Krang and the Foot clan, and it isn’t good.”

@inkypawprint and I are the creators of When I Was Younger which is a Rottmnt AU. It’s available on A03 and artwork can be viewed with the tags #WIWYau and #WIWY

— Arc 1 here

— Arc 2 (not written yet)

—Arc 3 (not written yet)

—Arc 4 (not written yet)

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💀Deja Vu Masterpost💀

"Supposedly, only a few days ago, someone died in the abandoned, and eligibly haunted sewers of NYC. Naturally, April decides to check it out. On a mission to explore the abandoned section of the NYC's sewers, April O' Neil and finds herself trapped after an accident, stuck with no way out. Something, or rather, multiple someone's seem to be living in these sewers, lurking behind the corners, watching from the shadows. Something terribly wrong is going on here; and the worst part? April feels like this isn't her first time living through this..."

Deja Vu is a Rottmnt horror "choose the outcome" story! For more information, artwork, and fanart, please visit the Deja Vu Masterpost!

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⚔️Rottmnt x Adventure Time AU⚔️

Adventure time au where the characters from Rottmnt are now the characters from adventure time. All artwork for this au can be found under the tag

#Rottmnt x Adventure Time

Please feel free to send in asks about the characters, and interact with them!!

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❣️ROTTMNT One-Shots❣️

A collection of my Rottmnt One-Shots. There’s not much yet, but hey, I’ll prolly add to it as time goes on.

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💕UTMV One-Shots💕

A collection of all the Undertale Au oneshots I’ve written. They all vary in rating and have warning tags. (Seriously, most of them contain some messed up 18+ stuff lol)

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🎨Endless Adventure🎨

“Ink and Error magically fused, changing them into a fusion named Scrap and share a mind, body and soul. At first they simply try to live their lives, getting along the best they can. But as they delve into the multiverse, they change the fate of their whole world. In this heartwarming and angsty story, follow Scrap as he explores a wide variety of AU’s, helps friends, fights off oncoming evil, and rekindles lost relationships with his abandoned children.”

@boxed-soup and I are the creators of Endless Adventure. @boxed-soup is the creator of the main character, Scrap. This story is currently on hiatus , and will be focused on later this year, as it only has one chapter posted. The rest is all in the rough draft stage lol.

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❤️EveryTale❤️

“This is just the beginning. Ink has no memory’s of his prior life, and isn’t sure if he even had one. One things for sure, every little chain of events is leading up to something huge.”

EveryTale is on permanent hiatus as in all honestly, I couldn’t get the plot figured out, and the bulk of my ideas went into Endless Adventure. You can find artwork for EveryTale under the tag #EveryTale or here on my DeviantArt

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[bobapplesimblr]

A Zesty Kind Of Lepacy - Game Packs

If yall remember my Spicy Kind of Lepacy and Mild Kind of Lepacy, this is a continuation of that! Except this time it’s game packs! >:D

Usual rules still apply: gameplay mods, precautionary heirs, divorces and remarriages, are all still allowed 💗

Also, since I have multiple versions of these Lepacies now, feel free to mix and match the generations to suit the packs you have or don’t have! And most important of all, have fun!

I will TRY to make these generations be playable with just the corresponding game pack and the basegame, but I apologize if I make any mistakes by including things only available with expansions or stuff packs.

Rules under cut (I realize that having a super long post can be inconvenient!) (I ACCIDENTALLY REMOVED IT IM SO SORRY)

Gen 1 - Outdoor Retreat

(Colors: Dark Green)

The wilderness always called out to you, and what were you to do except answer? Even though you have a very mundane job, you can always find time to take a vacation and go enjoy nature.

Aspiration: Outdoor Enthusiast

Skills: Herbalism and Gardening

Career: Business or any boring-sounding career

Goals:

Visit Granite falls as often as possible

ATTEMPT to finish the Outdoor Retreat bugs collection. You don’t need to complete it, just get as many bugs as possible and display them in your home.

Find the Hermit and marry them. If you cannot or the Hermit is not of your sims’ preffered gender, marry one of the roaming bears instead.

Have regular trips to Granite falls with your family

*Mod Optional* There is a mod out there that lets you live in Granite Falls. If you wish to do so you can acquire said mod and have your sim family live there instead.

Gen 2 - Spa Day

(Colors: pale blue and pale pink)

To your parents camping out in the woods was the best way to relax, but to you? You would much rather stay inside, go to a nice sauna, maybe even get a massage or a manicure! Hell, maybe you’d even preffer to be the one giving the massages and manicures.

Aspiration: Any of the 3 Spa Day aspirations

Skills: Wellness and Fitness

Career: Either choose any or make money through giving classes, massages, and manicures/pedicures

Goals:

Go to Spas, or lots that include spa furniture and equipment, at least once a week.

Have your own “at home spa” or relaxation corner. This can be just a room with a yoga mat in it. But you should always aim to make it bigger.

Get a different manicure every time you go to a spa, for funsies! Regardless of sim gender.

Lead a few yoga/meditation classes - you don’t need to make this permanent, unless you’ve decided to do so with the aspiration.

Have yoga sessions with your sims’ family, but have your sims’ kids have the ‘dislikes wellness’ prefference

**I forgot to write for Dine Out and it’s too late at the time that  I’m realizing this for me to rewrite all the other generation intros + it is a very glitchy pack and I’d rather spare you having to do an entire generation of that mess. But if you really want my take on it let me know!**

Gen 3 - Vampires

(Colors: Black and one other color)

Nobody talks about how hard yoga is. Or how easy it was for you to dislike it. But what did you like? Vampires of course! So much so that you made it your mission to become one. Nobody ever believed you though... until you showed up with new fangs on Winterfest’s Eve.

Aspiration: Vampire Family (or any of the other vampire aspirations if you feel this one doesnt fit your sim)

Skills: Vampire Lore and Pipe Organ (optional: Piano)

Career: Part Time Jobs (if you want your vampire to keep a low profile), Criminal (if you want your vampire to be a menace to society), or Astronaut (one of the careers that eventually takes place mostly at night)

Goals:

Start researching vampires as soon as possible. (I believe you can start learning the Vampire Lore skill as a child?)

Make friends with a vampire and have them transform you. + Move to Forgotten Hollow as soon as your transformation is complete.

Form a vampire coven (more easily done with the Get Together clubs system BUT you can just have a bunch of vampires that you’ve turned as good friends and that will count for this)

Marry a mortal and turn them into a vampire a a few days before they become an elder, so they can spend all eternity with you.

Have one of your sims’ children (doesn’t have to be the heir) take the vampire cure OR throw the vampire cure in this generation’s face, effectively and forcefully curing them of vampirism.

Gen 4 - Parenthood (Colors: Multiple colors, very colorful in general)

You’ve always had a big family - a coven can count as a big family, right? So when you moved out you decided that you wanted to have a big family of your own! Just not... through the means your parents did. (Unless..)

Aspiration: Super Parent

Skills: Parenting and Cooking

Career: Babysitter or just any career that sounds very parent-y / that fits your sim better

Goals: 

Marry a sim with similar traits as your own. (Example: both sims have the Neat trait.)

Always use the ‘Try For Baby’ option instead of ‘WooHoo’. If you have mods that change how woohoo works in game have your sims never wear protection.

Have at least 1 of your sims’ children have all character value traits, be it positive or negative. As long as they get a trait for every character value, it counts.

Decide if you want to be a calm parent or a strict parent and follow through with that way of parenting till the end. (STORYTELLING optional: Have a favorite child/children that your sim treats differently. This is obviously horrible to have in a family and I do not condone favoritism, but it could be an interesting storytelling point.)

(OPTIONAL) I do not remember if the ‘On Ley Line’ lot trait came with an Expansion pack, but if that lot trait is available to you use it in every house your sim lives in once they reach adulthood.

Gen 5 - Jungle Adventure

(Colors: Emerald or Aquamarine + Orange)

Your parents tried their best with raising you and your siblings. And for the most part they were alright, but having so many siblings was really unnerving. So you decided to go live your lone fantasy of exploring the rich culture of Selvadorada!

Aspiration: Archeology Scholar or Jungle Explorer

Skills: Selvadoradian Culture and Archeology

Career: No career, make money from collectables

Goals: 

Visit Selvadorada as often as possible and befriend as many of the people there as possible.

Travel through the Jungle and into the Temple any time you can - the Temple changes every time you visit, so with luck you’ll be able to discover new rooms and collectables each time.

Marry a fellow jungle adventurer (any sim you meet in Selvadorada that buys an adventuring item or looks like they’re ready to go adventuring), build a family with them, but have them ultimately die by poisening while exploring the Temple together.

Keep some of the collectables you get from the temple on display in your home.

Have 1 child (not counting precautionary heirs) and bring them along on Temple expeditions.

Gen 6 - Strangerville

(Colors: Pink and Purple or Earthy Tones)

Your parents always encouraged you to follow your dreams and explore new places, and what better place to explore than a creepy ghost town? Adventure calls!

Aspiration: Strangerville Mystery

Skills: Charisma and Logic

Career: Military or Blackmail sims for money (Yes, you can do that!)

Goals:

Finish the strangerville mystery or at least get as far into it as possible.

Marry a strangerville resident and eventually move into the more ‘rich’ neighbourhood with the bigger houses.

Eat one of the mother plant bizzare fruit to become infected/possessed. (I believe this can also be achieved by woohooing with a sim that has the infected/possessed trait)

Have an affair with a sim in the Military OR whoever runs the Curio Shop next to the trailer park. A child should result from this affair but it is a secret your sim willl never tell.

If you finish the Strangerville Mystery dedicate a room in your sims’ house to display different collectables and rewards you got along the way, including things you can buy at the curio shop.

Gen 7 - Realm Of Magic

(Colors: Whatever you feel is more magical)

You grew up hearing stories about this plant that lived under ground that was controlling an entire town. The heroic tale of your parent’s adventure gave you hope and inspired you to try and find your own fantastical adventure! You just didn’t quite expect to find a portal to another dimension.

Aspiration: Spellcraft and Sorcery or Purveyor of Potions

Skills: No need to max any particular skill but do try to learn as many spells/potions as possible.

Career: Who needs a career when you’ve got magic? (if you happen to have Romantic Garden Stuff use the wishing well to wish for money whenever possible)

Goals:

Have a home in Glimmerbrook but spend most of your time in the Realm Of Magic. The one lot in the realm is editable (or should be with bb.enablefreebuild), so you can make a room for yourself or, since the lot is 50x40, build or find a build of a small village that fits into that size of lot and choose one of the houses to sleep in. [I know this probably sounds really far fetched, but there are build out there of little villages instead of 1 house on a massive lot.] 

Choose 1 school of magic and learn all the spells from it before moving onto any other school of magic. If you choose to go with Alchemy you must alternatively learn all the spells before going into sorcery, if you wish to go into sorcery.

Have a child with each Sage, if you can. The heir will then be the decided by who has the weakest bloodline. Being children of sages they most likely have the ‘Strong Bloodline’ trait, but since the other parent is not a sage tthere is still a chance that they get the ‘Weak Bloodline’ trait. If none have a weak magical bloodline then you may pick whichever one is your favorite.

Get a familiar early on and pass it down to the heir before they move out.

Collect all of the Realm Of Magic plants and have them in your own garden at ‘home’

Gen 8 - Dream Home Decorator

(Colors: Red and White)

To you magic was not about making a whole roast chicken appear out of thin air or setting random stuff on fire. To you magic was helping people get to a better place in life, see the joy in their eyes after giving them a brand new space to live and grow, a space to heal. THAT was true magic to you. And you wanted to bring that to everyone you could.

Aspiration: Friend of the World

Skills: Comedy and Painting

Career: Dream Home Decorator

Goals:

Get to know every client you have for every gig.

Date every client you encounter that ISN’T married or in a relationship.

Accidentally get pregnant/get your partner pregnant and only find out when you’re already with someone else.

Have a very close relationship with your child, even if you’re not quite sure who the other parent is (in the case that your sim is the one that got pregnant).

End up stealing a client’s spouse and marrying them as your final relationship, but have the next heir despise this partner.

Gen 9 - My Wedding Stories

(Colors: White and Black)

You saw your parent change partners quite often, more often than most really. But their last partner gave you a grand idea. You hated them that you thought, “why don’t I take this anger and direct it at my own romantic interests?”. Is that a toxic thought? YES, get therapy please. But is that going to stop you from becoming a Black Widow? Absolutely not.

Aspiration: Villainous Valentine

Skills: Mischief and Gourmet Cooking

Career: You are a gold digger, you do not need a career. But you can still have one if you’d like!

Goals: 

Marry rich sims (or ones that you think are rich), even if that means breaking up marriages and families.

Have a luxurious home that you add more to every time one of your partners passes and you get their money. (Until this happens your sim will live with their spouse in the spouse’s original house, unless it’s not as big as your sim’s house.

Your sim is aiming to be a Black Widow, but you can choose how the spouses pass <3 If you have mods the choices can be quite chaotic.

Try your hardest not to have children with any of your spouses, but end up woohooing at one of your weddings and get pregnant/get them pregnant from it.

Have as many wedding events as possible. Or as many as you can handle, really. But the deeper you get with being a black widown the darker the dresses get, until at the last wedding needed your sim wear a fully black dress.

Gen 10 - Werewolves

(Colors: Flannel, baby!)

Sadly your existance was a literal accident, and your parent didn’t really give you much attention growing up. Everything you could’ve ever wanted was given to you, except emotional availability. And so you set out to go find someone that would give you the love and care you needed, and built your own little found family.

Aspitation: Any of the werewolf aspirations

Skills: Reach the top of the werewolf ranks

Career: You can have any career you see fit, it’s not too important here

Goals:

Get turned by Greg as soon as you move to Moonwood Mill

Become friends with both Wolf Packs before choosing which one to go with, or choose neither and just stay friends with them.

Become Best Friends with multiple werewolves, basically adopting them as your new found family members. They’re there for you in the ways you really need. You can also include humans into this found family, but other occults might have a harder time.

You don’t need to have children, but if you find your Fated Mate you can have biological children with your mate. You can also adopt a child if you’d like!

Have a simple cozy home where you can host many hang out sessions and parties with your friends and family. You finally feel like you belong, and you’re going to make the most of it <3 

Happy Simming!!