#there is nothing feminist about them and they will not protect women in the long run

[carmillafem]

TW blackpill-ish feminist content

Reminder that the amount of rapists and sex offenders that are never convicted has nothing to do with there not being enough evidence and everything to do with the system not caring.

Rape was a property offence, that’s the only reason it was made a crime. It’s damage to another man’s property (daughter or wife). It, and sexual assault have some kind of false or pseudo-insignificant place in law now It’s only reason for being made criminal is no longer relevant. That’s my theory as to why no one cares.

No other crime is neglected like rape and sexual assault is. the criminal system in a sense has simply given up on doing anything about it, and that’s why rapists and sex offender roam politics and policing.

Many institutions, like my high school, go as far as to defend the offender. The rapist at my school was yelled at by principles for hours, but only because he got caught again. All of their effort was put into silencing victims and silencing any discussion of it - they gave him an at-home suspension for his own safety. No other reason. I was suspended for equally as long, only because i talked publicly about it and told women to avoid him because the school wasn’t doing anything to protect them from him. He had sexually offended 9 girls, and his first victim was my best friend. She also went to the police, and despite overwhelming evidence: him confessing that he’s done it, screenshots of him harassing her, saying “did you like it when i groped you” her saying “no” him saying “good.” - despite all that, all the police did was dissuade her from making a report.

It’s not that the crime is somehow wildly different from all other crime, it’s that every man in power has guilt from whatever they’ve done, and they’ll do everything in their power to protect a man they think is like them. It’s that the system, the men in it, don’t care at best.

It’s more than that every woman knows a woman, every woman knows a story. every woman witnessed a story, just like these.

[tv--fan17]

Reproductive violence is a form of control used to restrict women's autonomy. From birth control sabotage to religious prohibitions against family planning, women's bodies have long been battlegrounds for maintaining male dominance. This violence, often justified through religion or cultural norms, strips women of their right to make decisions about their own bodies, perpetuating a cycle of oppression that crosses national and cultural boundaries. The ease of accessing transgender medical care without thorough mental health evaluations raises questions about the responsibility of the medical system. For such life-altering decisions, a lack of psychological support can leave trans individuals vulnerable to future regret or emotional challenges. This oversight points to a broader problem in healthcare, where efficiency and profit sometimes trump patient well-being. The liberal feminist defense of sex work often fails to address the root causes of exploitation. While protecting workers is important, radical feminists argue that the industry itself needs to be dismantled. They advocate for social and economic systems that offer women alternatives to sex work, focusing on poverty reduction and access to education as key solutions to breaking the cycle of exploitation. Radical feminists argue that sex work should not be normalized or celebrated but dismantled. While protecting workers is essential, they believe that the real solution lies in addressing the systemic issues that force women into the industry. By targeting the demand for sex work and providing women with alternatives, feminists hope to create a society where women are not exploited for their bodies. The idea that a woman s traumatic experience somehow reflects on her character—"shes promiscuous" or "attention-seeking"—is as prevalent as it is harmful. These are not ignorant remarks made without understanding; many of these men know full well the weight of a woman's pain. Yet they still choose to belittle it. It s as though confronting another's vulnerability forces them to reflect on their own, which, instead of inspiring empathy, triggers defensiveness and disdain. Ill never understand why peanuts had to scrit in Candy Mountain. Nothing good ever comes from groudby with clobulous HGL. Ive had enough of sonic the hedgehog always trying to shreks in the erf realm.

I didnt come to peanut butter jar to farting this moist vegits, but here we are. The banana may be scary, but it still knows how to shit peanutbutter. Just because you can thwomp doesnt mean you should pounit. The way sex exprickilors in The evil lab makes me think its dirty. sonic the hedgehog! Why does everything have to be so greasy with you?

[kkoffin]

I’m never getting over how you say “a woman is an adult human female” (or they ask you to define female) and they say “WOW SO A WOMAN IS NOTHING MORE THAN A WOMB TO YOU”

Did you miss the “human” part? Yes, female, as a term, means the sex in any species which has a large, immovable gamete. Do i think my dog is the same thing as a woman because they have the same sex? They’re both female? No. Because of the “human” part.

Both men and women are human people. the difference, the reason for this split in category, is sex. Yes, the difference between a man and a woman is reproductive organs. Not their feelings, or attachment to being feminine, or whether or not they’ve got a dress on. The reason for this particular categorical split is which reproductive organs they’ve got.

Now what would happen if we in this hypothetical, instead of splitting by sex, we split by hair colour. Now we’ve got brown hair people and black hair pe- WOAH ARE WE DEFINING THEM BY THE COLOUR OF THEIR HAIR!? THATS BIOESSENTIALISM (apparently. no it’s not, that’s not what the word means, but that’s a topic for another day.) no. we just divided them by hair colour, and now we are labelling the categories that arise. they are still humans. “adult human brunette” if you will.

The “human” part includes life, or anything typical to being human. Thoughts, feelings, interests, self expression, relationships, literally just about everything to… being a person. And here’s the fun part! That can be different for every single woman! A woman can be any human, and do anything! Only other necessary parts are being female and being adult. The “female” part will mean you are a victim of misogyny and patriarchy, and you’ll likely be raised a little differently. Radfems want women to be free from misogyny and patriarchy, so we band together, against the oppressor, men, to make change.

Being female affects women in a very impactful way. Yes, the reproductive organs. Through periods, and pregnancy, hormones and simply having a vagina. Men like having access to a vagina, and they, for a lot of history, have been provided social advantages, though having more muscle mass, not getting pregnant, not having periods. They’ve long considered women, and their vaginas, to be their property. Women, again, because of men’s social advantages, were barred from much of society. Voting, dominion, rights, ability to be employed and have financial freedom. Men like having access to a vagina so much that women were sold to a husband, and had no freedom in the matter at all.

Today, women have been given many rights, but men still really like having access to a vagina, so they rape and sexually assault women (also misogyny is still deep in our society; in our media, our subconscious, etc). This is a Bad Thing, so women want to be free from it. Thus, we want spaces where we are vulnerable to be just for women. Not men that are feminine, or men that feel they are women, but women as in the sex-based group that’s been the victim to fgm and pregnancy and majority of rape, sex trafficking, sexual assault and harassment, etc this whole time.

Now! I can hear you! “but men get raped too!” You are so right! They are also 99% of offenders of rape. So sorry, but yes, the feminists, the women protecting women, striving for women’s liberation from patriarchy, still don’t want men in these spaces. Also being raped doesn’t make them a woman. Nothing makes a man a woman. (and before you bring up intersex people, I want you to know A) all intersex people are either male or female, a developmental disorder doesn’t take that anyway; B) every intersex person I’ve ever met fucking hates being used as an example to imply there are some people that are “less woman” or “less man”. )

Women were never and have never been oppressed because of their feelings or because they wear a dress - wearing the dress was a part of the oppression in fact. Women have always been in their disadvantaged group because of our sex. Because men like having access to a vagina, and we’ve been deemed weaker and inferior by men because of our organs.

There’s a reason why many women are offended if you call them “females” alone (see: alpha male podcasts) - it’s because it’s missing the “human” part, and it can feel degrading. It does include animals. “Female” either includes all females of all species and forms of life, or it’s an adjective. Woman are adult human females. Human.

@smokeweedeattherich

Anyways yeah, it’s rly not the terf-destroyed slay moment you think it is; it’s just you being kinda illiterate.

[genericpuff]

(Lore Rekindled ask)

What does TGOEM do? I thought it'd be an organisation for those who swore virginity but it seems to be more of a women's support group? Asking because I thought Dating would be banned but Hestia reacted positively when Persephone told her she was in a relationship, so is it just that they can't have sex and that's why it's okay? Or is TGOEM only named because Athena, Hestia, and Artemis are running it and has nothing to do with their expectations of it's members (Eternal celibacy)?

So I've changed the functioning of TGOEM because, in execution with LO, it made zero sense for there to be some kind of "virgin only club" led by traditionally aroace goddesses who turned out to be lesbians sleeping together which then disbanded as soon as Persephone didn't want to be a virgin. Considering LO is trying to "deconstruct purity culture" and be "feminist", really all the message came across as was "virginity bad! celibacy bad! asexuality bad! women need to be having sex and popping out babies to be fulfilled! lesbian sex is a loophole and doesn't count!" There is lots to be said about how "virgin only" clubs like TGOEM perpetuate purity culture in a very unhealthy way, but none of that really got explored in LO at all, with most of it being shoved onto Demeter as the sole perpetrator with Hestia and Athena being relegated to hypocrites who were secretly sleeping with each other.

So with TGOEM in Rekindled, I wanted to explore it more as an actual women's support group. There are women in the group who are aroace, there are women in the group who are victims of assault, there are women in the group who are grieving after the death of their partners, etc. The group runs different meetings throughout each week for different purposes and groups of women, and it hosts events to give back to the wider community outside of their own members. Kore also has her own reasons for attending but we haven't gotten into those yet. Like Barley Mother, it operates as a co-op, made up entirely of volunteers and relying on donations and bartering.

In light of that, there is still a reason why it's called TGOEM - The Goddesses of Eternal Maidenhood - as its founding was more for the purpose of protecting goddesses and nymphs from forced marriages and empowering aroace women, but now in the more "modern" era of the story's setting, it's evolved into more of a community for women of all circumstances to empower each other and find safety and comfort in one another. That felt a lot more fitting for Hestia to do than enforcing virginity on people. She's also not in a relationship with Athena in this one, they're both aroace and are more akin to strong platonic companions who enjoy each other's company and working together on TGOEM rather than lovers. Artemis doesn't run the group, but she's been in it for a very long time and was one of Kore's first friends within the group.

Sooo yeah! The reason Hestia responded positively to Kore dating someone is because the group is goal-driven and seeking new, healthier relationships is a goal for many of the women in the group. It's not an anti-dating / anti-sex group, they just want to give their members a safe space to share their news - good and bad - and give them tools to navigate their life outside of the group ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

[anothermansjeans]

Request!

Spencer comforting YouTuber!reader when she gets an inevitable troll- maybe on a live stream at first - coming to her defense immediately by reading a comment she doesn’t even see and then once the camera is off, making sure she knows the troll was an idiot.

this isn't followed exactly (i'm so sorry), but i think this is a cute one??

cw: someone being a hater, spencer's a feminist!!

wc: 391

youtuber!reader masterlist

++

“What was the last show I watched? Oh! Spencer and I just started watching The Bear!”

“Who are you talking to?” Spencer walked into the living room, coming up from behind the couch to see you on a livestream.

“Just doing a live… wanna join?”

He gave you a nod before sitting down, eyes scanning the comments. You continued to answer the ones you could catch a glimpse of, but as soon as Spencer came into frame, the comments were going at an insane speed.

“That is completely not true.”

His sudden comment made your head turn towards him with furrowed eyebrows, “what, babe?”

“Someone commented that the only reason you're ‘popping off’ right now is because of me… they said this is why men are superior, which is such a stuck mindset.”

“Spence, it’s okay–”

“But it's not.” His eyes fired up and he turned towards you, grabbing your hand and rubbing his thumb in soothing circles. “You were doing extremely well before we even met. When we started dating you had a significant amount of loyal followers. Their opinion on men being superior is also a disgusting comment. Women have to work twice as hard as a man to get to where they are due to patriarchal norms, so if anything, their resilience is respectable and makes them superior.”

You stared at him for a minute, not really knowing what to say.

“Are you okay?”

His concern brought you back down to Earth, and you leaned forward to press your lips together, not caring about the livestream. When you separated, you ran your fingers through his hair, giving him a smile. “I love you. Thank you for that; I’ve never had someone stick up for me like that before.”

“I didn't want you to be hurt…”

Pouting at his words, your hands fell to grasp his and give them a squeeze. “I don't think I could ever get hurt when you're around.” And you were telling the truth. As long as Spencer was in your life, you would be happy and feel nothing but protected.

++

BONUS: some comments

@ user: HOLY SHIT HE WENT OFF?

@ user1: wait i want one… where can i buy him?

@ user2: STOP THE KISS OMG

@ user3: PLEASE ADOPT ME IM BEGGING

@ user4: fuck that troll. spencer was so right

@ user5: he IS the feminist movement

++

youtuber!reader taglist: @im-a-ghost666 @lyd14k4y @happiestcat @hauntedtv13 @obi-wansgirl @charismatic-writer @navs-bhat @itsleilabxtch @strabarrybat @hiireadstuff @cherrybb-ily @wietske27 @mynameiskelly @mcntsee @aremuslupinsimp @universallyblizzardlove

let me know if you would like to be added or removed!!

[stoutguts]

headcanon rambling/my personal hc for Johnny's backstory bc I think it'd be interesting also I like the idea of Ghoap where the both of them had a shitty childhood bc of an abusive parent and the both of of them hv trauma/I love angst 💕

CW: drug add\ction, s*lf-h*rm/s*icide, parental/child abvse

Soap was born into a big family in the Scottish countryside, being the youngest with 6 older sisters. His father was a deadbeat, and walked out on him at a young age, being effectively raised by his mom and big sisters. Having strong female influences on his life benefited him greatly in the long run, he grew up to be a very well-adjusted, kind, and respectful man (particularly towards women, as he is a staunch feminist (you go Johnny).

However, on the other hand the only true parental figure in his life, his mother, was a horrible person. She was mentally and emotionally abusive, as well as unstable. She would even get physical with her children at times, including Soap. Johnny was also raised Roman Catholic, though today he considers himself agnostic or a flat out atheist. His mother was incredibly homophobic and transphobic and would use religion to justify her bigotry towards him, leading Soap to hating himself and struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation for years. Particularly, by cutting himself (he has s/h scars all over his thighs, arms, and shoulders). Has attempted at least 10+ times in the past. Not to mention, he did a lot of hard drugs during his middle and high school years to cope with his mother's abuse. (Particularly coke and heroin). He's come incredibly close to ODing on a few occasions. An addict and a total mess, until his sisters intervened and forced him against his will into rehab.

After 2 or so years he was clean and eligible for the military.

He still relapses from time to time (whether it's self-harm or drugs), and when he does its bad. He even still regularly smokes weed to this day, though it's not nearly as bad as some other substances. It's a wonder he hasn't been discharged, (because he doesn’t try to hide it too much), but probably because he's too much of an asset.

Ghost is the one to bring him out of his slumps now. Not minding one bit, as all Simon cares about is Johnny's safety and well-being.

Needless to say, he could never see religion in the same light after that. He’s even quite apprehensive and wary of people whom are religious and religion in general.

He and his mother were never close and soon would never get along with each other, as he’s proud and not the type to even tolerate shit from anyone. It was an almost daily occurrence that he and his mom would fight, particularly when he finally reached his pre-teen/teen years, sometimes evolving into full-blown screaming matches.

Being the protective type of person that he is, most of the time he’d get into fights because of his sisters coming to him about how mom had hit them or made them cry (despite the fact he feels nothing but pure hatred for his mum, he has a very deep bond/connection to each and everyone of his sisters and loves them all dearly).

That was what pissed him off more than anything.

His mom could do whatever she wanted with him, frankly he stopped caring and her cutting words no longer held any weight or meaning to him at some point, and being hit was soon the equivalent to getting bit by a mosquito, he became numb. He didn't know when he stopped feeling, but he did. (He of course wasn't entirely immune, she'd eventually break him). But he was determined to stay strong for his siblings.

Bringing harm upon his sisters? No way in hell that was ever gonna fly, and he didn't care if she was his mother or not.

Johnny naturally grew to resent his mother, and to this day he still calls her a “witch” or a "cunt" instead of his mum. Eventually he’d had enough and couldn’t take his mother’s abuse any longer, (she is half of the reason he went into the military as soon as he possibly could, besides it being a lifelong and childhood dream of his).

He kept in touch with his sisters (and still does), of course, calls them everyday or whenever he gets the chance to let them know he’s alive and well and to see how their doing. Visits when he can or when he’s off duty. Though he completely cut ties with his mother after joining the military,—a couple of his sisters would keep him posted on what was going on with her.

Later on, his mother went to go on to be diagnosed with terminal cancer, and passed shortly thereafter.

He attended the funeral up in Scotland, but mainly for his sisters’ sakes. He actually ended up staying in Scotland for a while after that to provide support for his sisters, (emotional or otherwise), and to try to ease the grieving process. Even though she wasn’t the greatest mom or person in general, it was still a tough loss. Though Soap still didn’t regret cutting her out of his life,—it was fucked up but he was glad that she died in a way, and even visited her grave just once after the funeral, by himself, just so he could spit on it. Maybe even say some things he never was able to say to her, half as retribution and half to just get it off his chest.

Ghost is the only one who knows of Johnny's past and his abusive mother, and is incredibly understanding and gentle about it (as naturally it's a particularly touchy subject). On all official stuff regarding his background, the most it ever details is where he was born or that he was raised Roman Catholic. Not to mention, although Soap is a yapper and almost never shuts up, he’s a very private person and just simply doesn’t like others knowing his business (with the exception of Ghost of course).

Even though Johnny didn’t let his mother’s death bother him regarding the funeral and his prolonged visit to Scotland, when he got back he broke down completely.

He stayed strong for his sisters as he felt like he had to and just as he's always done, but the facade came crashing down once he was in Simon's arms again.

He hated his mum, she didn't really deserve his tears, yet she was still his mum. That fact still reigned true even after everything.

And Ghost was there by his side the whole time. Hell, if anyone knows what it's like to lose a family member, it's Simon "Ghost" Riley. Whether they be toxic or not. Simon's heart positively ached for Soap, and they couldn't help but get all misty eyed at Johnny's pure, unbridled grief.

Ghost had never felt so sorry for anyone in his life, and Soap was eternally grateful for Simon's patience, empathy, and it consoling him to the best of their ability. 💖

DADDY ISSUES GHOST AND MOMMY ISSUES SOAP MY BELOVED(S)

[malloryrowinski]

You're a transphobe!!! You should be embarrassed

Okay this is getting old now. I know you probably won’t read this reply as you’re clearly refusing to educate yourself on what I stand for, but I wanna have this on my blog regardless so here we go.

I’m a radical feminist, and I’m gender critical. Being gender critical means recognizing that gender is a social construct made to keep women, as a class, oppressed on the basis of their sex, and uphold the patriarchy. The sex you’re born with is a fixed set of characteristics and is immutable (this is a fact. Sex is binary, not fluid. before you try to pull the intersex card, @/not-your-intersex-pawn here on Tumblr has posts that will explain this to you in much greater detail than I can, like their response here).

Now, your sex doesn’t say anything about you! It doesn’t mean a single thing, it just recognizes which set of biological characteristics you were born with. It doesn’t indicate your personality, hobbies, likes and dislikes, whatever. You are a whole person and your sex is just your sex. Women are and have been historically oppressed on the basis of their sex. Not because they identified as anything connected to the female sphere, they were forced into this sphere of subordination and yada yada (gender roles!) on the basis of them being born female. 

Gender, on the other hand, is an identity. Even the gendies themselves have lost the plot a little in my opinion as everything regarding gender now is just so… vague? But basically gender is an identity. Some say it’s innate, some say it isn’t. Most agree that you can change your gender, or at least “reclaim” it, if you believe it’s innate and that you were "born in the wrong body". You can claim any gender, actually, and define it however you please. 

Calling me “cis” would be incorrect not because I’m not a woman, but because I’m not part of the gender craze, meaning that’s an ideology I don’t subscribe to altogether. I don’t believe in it. There’s no such thing as gender. I’m just a woman, neither cis nor trans. 

There’s also an additional note that I would like to make here: as long as we as a society recognize gender, we’re gonna have people either conforming to it or resisting it, or claiming a different gender identity. This is basically the same as “as long as catholicism exists, we’re gonna have catholics, atheists, and people either converting to catholicism or abandoning it”. This does not refer to the group of people who go through physical sex dysphoria. This group may choose to access what you would call “gender-affirming care”, which isn’t gender-affirming for them, because they do not have a problem with their gender to begin with, and most of the time don’t even recognize gender as important/real. Their voices have been unfortunately silenced by the “new wave” of TRAs over the past 5 to 10 or so years, and I do not wish to speak on their behalf, you can do your own research on this, or listen to amazing people such as @/buct-reidentified here on Tumblr. 

If you disagree with me and do believe that gender is an important part of oneself - I don’t have a problem with that! You’re entitled to your own opinions just like I am to my own. If you read all this and still think I’m transphobic, I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do to help you. 

The reason I don’t include trans women in my feminism isn’t because I don’t respect their identity. But their identity is irrelevant when it comes to a movement focusing on the liberation from sex based oppression. What matters is their sex, whether you like it or not, because women are oppressed on the basis of their sex. You can identify as a trans woman but I genuinely hope that you’ll see how being a trans woman is different than being born with a female body. These two will face radically different experiences and challenges, each unique to that group. 

I do believe that trans people, of any kind, do need their own protections, safe spaces, etc. because they clearly are discriminated against and no one should be able to attack or discriminate against anyone because they don’t agree with their identity/the way they present themselves/whatever. 

I do support the preservation of same-sex spaces for women, but this isn’t rooted in fear of trans women but in protecting women from predatory men who exploit gender theory to gain access to these spaces and harm women. I’m sure we can both agree that these cases have happened and I’m not fear-mongering. This is not because all trans women are predators. This has happened and continues to happen because when you give predators and abusers a chance to be predatory and abusive with little to no repercussion by hiding behind an ideology like the gender one, they are typically eager to take it. Women have a right to their same-sex spaces because of the sex-based oppression they’ve faced throughout centuries. Taking these away or reforming places that are specifically sex-exclusive into inclusive ones is not fair to women and results in a zero-sum game. 

So basically, if you identify as a trans man and want me to accommodate you by using he/him pronouns, I have no problem with that. The same goes for they/them or she/her. I’m happy to respect and use your preferred pronouns because I respect you as a person. However, this doesn’t change my understanding of your biological sex. I simply recognize that you identify as trans, which is part of who you are, and I respect that. You believe in gender and I don’t, that’s okay. If you take it to the “I should be able to access sex-exclusive spaces because I identify as trans”, I would politely explain to you why I disagree with that and what options I believe we should make available instead. 

There a ton of points I haven't touched but that are related to this topic, but this is the basics.

[vodika-vibes]

I love your writing and I was so excited to see this event! I promise I am still rereading and reading all your new releases and each and every one gives me life! May I get a Fairy Tale AU with Rex? Maybe where reader is a second born princess, with a protective but very feminist older brother, who has encouraged her to train to defend herself. Rex is the captain of her guard and he loves her because they grew up beside one another and yet she’s promised to a prince who doesn’t swing her way? They’ve grown up and “grown up” with each other in every possible way and she loves him back but it must be secret? But the prince she’s promised to sees their closeness and realizes that the only way he’s not going to be miserable is release her from the betrothal and take her older brother’s hand in marriage (which he’s not complaining about because her older brother is sweet and wonderful and very much more so who HE’s interested in). And because her older brother is a real one, he unapologetically rewrites their governing laws when he takes the throne to say screw you I’m not providing an heir because I don’t fancy women and you wouldn’t accept any foundlings I adopt, when my sister marries her beloved best friend Rex, that little one will be my heir to the throne. Angst at the beginning because reader doesn’t know how she can have what her heart wants while fulfilling her royal expectations, Rex loves her dearly but doesn’t think he’s worthy of standing at her side (honorable and self deprecating King he is), and all along her cheeky older brother is the unsung hero bringing justice and love to them all. Even if this isn’t quite how it plays out when you write it, I know you’ll work your magic! 💕

My Lady's Choice

Summary: Rex has been in love with his best friend for as long as he can remember. And he knows that she loves him too, she tells him often enough. But he’s just a knight, and she’s been promised to another man.

Pairing: Captain Rex x F!Reader

Word Count: 1239

Warnings: None

Prompt: Fairy Tale AU

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Hi there! Thanks for your request! I hope this is close to what you wanted! Also, sorry that it took so long, words haven't wanted to agree with me for a bit.

“You’ve been in a foul mood all day,” Rex notes as he offers the Princess another arrow, “What’s wrong?”

Her pretty lips become a scowl as she notches her arrow and draws the sting back, “Nothing.” She releases the string and the arrow flies true, striking the dummy in the center.

Rex watches her momentarily, taking in the tension in her frame and how her lips are turned down, and he sighs. “You might be able to lie to yourself and your brother, but you can’t lie to me.”

She hesitates and lowers her bow, “My betrothed is coming to meet me.” She finally admits, “My brother told me yesterday.”

Rex feels a pang in his chest, but he shoves it to the side. He always knew that he was going to lose her one day, he just hoped that it would be one day far in the future. “Well, perhaps you’ll like him?” He offers.

She tosses him a frustrated look, “I don’t want to like him.”

“Now you’re just being stubborn.”

She whirls to face him, “I’ve made my choice. I made it years ago.”

Rex sighs, soft and slow, “Princess,” His voice is so softly pained, “I’m not an option. You know that.”

Her lower lip juts out and she lifts her chin defiantly, “I don’t care.”

“Princess,”

“I love you!”

Rex pauses and his heart swells with affection for the woman standing in front of him. He glances around and, upon seeing that they’re alone, he takes a step closer to her and brings his hand up to cup her face, “I know you do.”

There’s something almost panicked in her gaze, “And you love me?”

His smile spreads, “More than I can put into words.”

The panic settles into something a little steadier, and Rex lightly brushes his thumb across her painted lower lip, “Then why won’t you fight for us?”

“We always knew that this was going to happen, cyar’ika.” Rex murmurs, the familiar endearment falling from his lips without thought. “That someday you would be claimed by someone else, and that I would lose you.”

“No.”

She says it so firmly that Rex almost believes her. But then, she’s always been so sure that they would find a way to be them, even within the constraints of the laws.

“Cyar’ika,” Rex pauses, “Princess,” He corrects, “Maybe it would be best to end things before you lose everything.” It’ll break his heart, but he won’t stand here and watch her throw away everything that she has a right to because she was fool enough to fall in love with a lowborn knight.

The panic returns to her face, “Are you breaking up with me?” Her voice is small, fragile sounding almost, and Rex wants to kick himself. He knows, better than most, how his cyar’ika views herself. And why she’d view a breakup as a form of abandonment.

Rex presses his other hand to her cheek, “No. I said that I should.”

Confusion slides across her face, “Rex?”

“I should let you go.” He murmurs, “You might find happiness with your betrothed. But I don’t want to.”

“I won’t be happy with anyone who isn’t you.” She announces as she presses her hands over his.

For some reason, her announcement surprises him. Never mind that he already knew that. Never mind that he thinks the same thing.

He’s still shocked to hear her say it.

Slowly, he leans in and presses his forehead against hers, and a small smile lifts his lips when he feels her warm breath against his face.

Stars, he really does love her so much. 

Maybe he can talk himself into her guard after she gets married, that way they won’t be separated. And it’s not like she would be the first Queen who had a low-born lover after getting married.

It’s a horrible idea. And Rex knows it.

But he also knows that watching her ride off into the sunset with her betrothed will destroy him.

She leans in and catches his lips with hers, and Rex surges into the kiss, one of his hands moving to tangle in her hair as he adjusts her head to deepen the kiss.

He smiles into the kiss as she almost becomes boneless against him, her soft hands lightly gripping the plates of his armor to try and pull herself closer to him. She breaks the kiss before he does, her eyes closed and a small smile on her face.

She looks happy. Content.

He’d sell his soul to keep her smiling like that.

She opens her eyes and favors him with the warmest smile he’s ever seen, “Cyare?”

Slowly she reaches up and traces his lips, “I think I have an idea, Rex.”

Rex eyes her, doubtfully, “A good idea?”

Her smile widens, “Trust me.”

He watches her for a moment, and then sighs, “As if you have to ask,” Rex leans in and kisses her one more time, and then pulls away from her. It wouldn’t do for anyone to catch him kissing her, after all.

Rex doesn’t see much of his cyare for the next couple of weeks, a fact that makes him unbearably anxious. He knows that the wedding hasn’t happened, as there’s no way that he would miss that, but the constant meetings between his cyare, her brother, and her betrothed don’t bode well for his relationship.

When he does see her again, he’s a bit surprised.

Well, ‘a bit’ is something of an understatement.

The truth is, he almost doesn’t recognize her when she comes running up to him. She has a bright smile on her pretty face and her hair, normally pulled into a series of intricate braids, hangs loose around her head.

And she’s wearing civilian clothes. A tunic and comfortable trousers with boots, rather than the delicate gowns that she’s supposed to wear as princess.

“Princes—” Rex is forced to drop the training mat that he is supposed to be bringing to the salles when she flings herself into his arms. His arms wrap securely around her, supporting her weight as she wraps her arms around his neck.

She’s giggling as she bumps her nose against his, her grin so broad that it looks like it’s going to crack her face in two.

And, despite the audience, Rex can’t help but smile back at her, her good mood infectious, “Why are you so happy, cyare?” He murmurs.

“My brother has canceled my betrothal,”

“He did wha—”

Her hands come up to cup his face, “He’s also rewritten the laws, I am free to marry anyone I choose. And if the council of old people have a problem with it, they can take it up with him and his sword.”

“Cyare, what—?”

“My brother is going to marry my former betrothed,” She continues, “As it happens, my brother is more his type.” Her fingers slide over his short hair, “And, to keep the throne in the family, my firstborn child will be named heir.”

Rex stares at her, wide-eyed, and then a slow smile crosses his face, “So, that means—”

“—nothing is stopping us from being together.” She finishes.

That’s all Rex needs to hear as he crashes his lips against hers, no longer caring about their audience. Needing her as close as he can get her.

Looks like he’ll actually have a use for that ring he’s saved up for after all.

[redditreceipts]

This is actually a TIM explaining why it's legitimate to be anti-feminist because feminism has done nothing for TIMs/trans and has even been hostile towards them

https://www.tumblr.com/havenofcybele/744684220115566592/some-thoughts-on-feminism-from-a-trans-perspective?source=share

well feminism has given half of the trans population human rights, the right to vote, and legal recognition as a person lol. (of course you wouldn't bother to think about trans men, because you're a male and all you care about is yourself, but well)

it has admittedly not done anything done for trans women, because feminism is for women and trans women are not women lmao

yah, interesting thing to think about, right? That the people who stand in for women's rights continue to do so, even when those women don't identify as women anymore.

Also, the question is so stupid. Like, even if I thought that trans women are women, asking what feminists have done for trans people is like asking what anti-racist activists have done for disabled people. And when they struggle to find an answer, I then as a disabled person tell them that I won't be participating in anti-racist struggles anymore because they don't focus on ME (the most important person in the world)

also, I think it's kinda smart for those "trans feminists" (like Julia Serano) to act as if trans activism and feminism were compatible. you can of course come out and tell the world that you dislike feminism as a trans woman, because feminism is about protecting women and you as a man feel neglected, but it will really not help your cause in the public opinion lmao

I mean he's kinda right in his assessment though. Feminism is a movement to liberate women, and his bullshit ideology is not compatible with that. Feminism will always be about women, and as a man who wants to retain his privileges, being an anti-feminist is a logical conclusion. If you live in a patriarchy long enough, your privileges will appear to you as "rights", and taking away your privilege to define women as a man will seem to you as oppression. I guess it will be harder to convince your ftm brothers, because they actually know what it's like to live as a woman under patriarchy, but well, you're just proving the femininists' point by your post. Men as a class primarily care about retaining their privilege to oppress women, and this guy accurately recognised that and wants to stand in for men's rights instead. I guess normal people would have empathy for the struggle of a marginalised people that they're not a part of and not throw a tantrum when these people's emancipation means making themselves uncomfortable, but what do you expect of people socialised as male? this kind of rhetoric is like a plantation owner who lets their palm oil get picked by people in the global south and pays them $0.10 per hour, and then he turns around and says "What has the anti-imperialist movement ever done for plantation owners??? why should i support them when they want to take away my rights to exploit people?" like yeah, of course you shouldn't support them if all you care about is your own gain. but the people getting angry with you for not supporting a movement for the liberation of a marginalised people you are not a part of expect you to have the tiniest shred of empathy and not only care about yourself, but that's apparently too much asked of a man lol

[dresshistorynerd]

Borderline begging you to not erase the gender non conformity of historical women by applying contemporary lenses of gender roles to them. Gender non conforming women existed then and still exist now. Wearing “men’s clothing” does not make me less of a woman and it’s incredibly insulting to see people in 2024 call women “they” and “he” because they wrote extensively about the misogyny they faced on a daily basis and chose to address and protect against by disguising their female form. Clothing does not a gender make—social roles do. Let’s respect historical women by referring to them correctly—not assuming what they would like to be called these days when we have long since dismissed European invert theory.

I'm assuming you are referring to that historical binder post and specifically this part:

Westner was also buried in men's clothing by their own request.

Firstly, I didn't call Ella Westner "he", not sure why you are implying that. I haven't read much about Westner, but I did try to look quickly if we have any record or second hand information of them talking or writing about their gender. I didn't find it, so I don't know what would be the correct way to refer to them. I referred to them with "them" since that is the pronoun in English language when you don't know someone's gender. By all means if you have any evidence to share how they liked to be referred, do share.

This is for all intents and purposes the same ask I got after my Julie d'Aubigny post so I'm going to link my response here (and the answer to the follow up ask) instead of rehashing the same points all over again. But I will rehash couple of main points since it seems they bear repeating. Firstly, I'm not talking about you, you are not Elle Westner and you have just as little access to her mind as I do. I don't have to assume your gender, you said you're a woman, and certainly I believe nothing you do makes you less of a woman. But I can't ask Elle Westner can I? For most historical people, I think it's fair to assume their gender to be the one assigned to them, but if there is evidence that might suggest otherwise, we should not assume. Of course we should neither assume it's not their assigned gender, it's entirely possible it is, but the possibility should not be discarded that their gender is different.

It's a little silly tbh to say I'm erasing gender non-comforming historical women, when literally in the same paragraph I mention how it was quite common for queer *women* to dress in masculine clothing. This is literally what I wrote:

Queer women and trans masc people, who dressed in masculine clothing, (which was pretty common) also sometimes bound their chests, but unsurprisingly that was not exactly celebrated like drag performances were, so there weren't binders made for queer people specifically.

(I admit I didn't mention the "mannish" feminists, who dressed masculinely, but they rarely bound their chests, and like many of them were queer also.)

What I will not do (even if you borderline beg) is to erase trans masc and non-binary people from history. Assuming all historical queer and gnc people were their assigned gender without extensive evidence to the contrary (for some people no amount of evidence is ever enough) effectively erases all trans and non-binary people from history, since the way gender was talked about, understood and allowed to express, was often so different from our current understanding and usually erased from historical evidence. That is in fact imposing our understanding of gender to historical people. Yes some women did cross-dress in order to escape misogyny, but that's certainly not the only reason people cross-dressed. Especially since many of them, those who couldn't or didn't try to pass, faced even more misogyny for cross-dressing, but they did it anyway because they had other reasons to cross-dress. The reason why cross-dressing can be evidence of queer gender identity (though of course as said, there are other possible reasons) especially in 19th century, is because in their culture the understanding of gender was heavily tied to gender expression. Even today, when gender and gender expression are seem much more as separate things, if you see a person who looks like a woman, but is dressed in men's clothing, you shouldn't immediately dismiss the possibility that they might not be a woman. Yes, they might be a woman who for one reason or another likes to dress in masculine clothing, or they might not be.

You say I shouldn't "apply contemporary lenses of gender roles" to historical queer people, but also that I should in this historical context dismiss sexual inversion theory, which was specifically a Victorian lens (shrouded in scientific essentialist terms) to look at queerness. Sexual inversion theory is not biologically true of course, like it was proposed, but really none of our sexuality and gender categories are. Because while there probably is some biological explanations for our feelings of attraction and towards our bodies (which we haven't really found yet), how we built gender and sexuality categories around those feelings is entirely cultural. So while sexual inversion theory is not relevant today, it is still relevant to understand the historical context, since it was an attempt to explain scientifically their cultural construction of gender and sexuality. And of course the flaw with all these cultural categories is that they can not contain and represent the whole breath of human feelings, and will always leave people out in their explanations, which is obviously true with sexual inversion theory (but also for example our identity based model). But the societal understanding of these things also shape how we understand and frame our own feelings.

So briefly, in 19th century queer identities were emerging (not seen as just behavior anymore) and first queer communities were formed. In the texts of Victorian queer writers the understanding of sexuality, expression and gender are all very fluid. Edward Carpenter (a Victorian gay communist) notably wrote about "the intermediate sex" and "transitional men and women" which he understood as a sort of third gender category. Basically his understanding of queerness was conceptually similar to sexual inversion theory, but he came from a non-medicalizing and queer liberation angle (though like his writings were not entirely free of internalized queerphobia but still very revolutionary for his time). He wrote about this third gender category as a sort of spectrum that goes from feminine men interested in men, and masculine women interested in women, to cross-dressing people and people living as opposite gender. Today we might see these ends of the spectrum as more or less gnc gay men and women and trans men and women, which to him were more or less extreme expressions of the same phenomena. This also aligns with broader Victorian understanding of gender and sexuality, as gnc queer people were generally seen as a separate gender category, often, especially in case of queer men and trans fems, called fairies. As said, certainly not all Victorian queer people would have agreed or felt represented by these ideas, but this does give us some understanding how at least some of the queer and gnc people might have understood their gender.

Maybe I will need to make a full post about how I think gender should be handled and studied in history, so I can just link it to when I inevitably get yet another one of these.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Education

Lesson #5: A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

A/N: I don’t know what the fuck this is anymore. Enjoy the inside jokes if you catch them though.

Warnings: smut.

Matty forced a loud sigh of exasperation out of his lips, adjusting the pillow that he had sandwiched between his arm and his head. This felt like the hundredth time that he’d adjusted it. He resented it for moving. Blamed it for the fact that he couldn’t find a comfortable position to lay in, for the hundredth time, he slammed his head into the pillow with a dramatic thud against the mattress as he laid back down. Maybe going to bed early wasn’t such a great idea. 

But he hated being awake lately. And loved being in bed. All day long, George’s chiding words echoed in his mind, no matter how much he denied them. He couldn’t escape the lingering thoughts, or the feeling of guilt. He had nothing to feel guilty about. He’d done nothing wrong. So why does it feel like he has? She was the one to bring up experimenting with him. For practice. And all that shit George had brought up about years ago, none of it mattered. It’s been close to a decade. If she had any interest in him at all back then, she would’ve said something. He’s not going to ruin their friendship over this. Those were the thoughts that haunted him during the day. 

At night, though, his thoughts were different. As he laid there, in his cold bed, tossing and turning all night long, he couldn’t help but think about Amelia. Her eyes looking up at him as he hovered over her body protectively. Her skin prickled with goosebumps as he hit her with the crop. Her lips, puffy and red, primed for kissing and biting. The way she felt, clenching around him as he thrusted into her. Her arms, pulling against the restraints, begging him to let her touch him. Matty’s memories left him breathless, his chest rising and falling, he slid his hand down his body, into the waistband of his boxers, and tugged at the base of his hardening cock. His hand, making jerking motions, and his imagination were quick to bring him to the edge, soon, his hips bucked upwards as he fucked into his own hand, “ohhh fuck!’ 

——

Amelia’s steps faltered as soon as she was certain she was out of her date’s eye-shot. she finally let go of the breath she’d been holding, pushing the restaurant’s bathroom door open and rushing inside. She looked down at her shaky hands and felt tears well up in her eyes. Was it the self-disappointment or was it the fear that hurt more? She should’ve trusted her gut. Never should’ve let this date go on as long as it has. This man was aggressive from the second that she sat down at the table. Her skin crawled as she recalled their conversation, and his relentless demands that she let him go home with her, despite her consistent, unambiguous  declining. He repeated “you should just let me,” and “I’d make it worth your time.” The look in his eyes, which she couldn’t interpret, terrified her. Right now, the worst part to her was what she had done in response. Standing up, calling him a “perv” and a “creep” while stomping her foot and advising him to “take the hint, you fuckwit, a no is a no,” might have felt like the feminist, empowering move in the moment, but he’d probably fall off his chair laughing if he could see her now, moments later, hiding in the ladies’ room, shaking and crying. She didn’t want to leave the restaurant immediately, in case he followed her home, so she hovered over the bathroom sink, letting the tears run down her face while waiting it out. So much for casual dating.

She looked at her, now washed, face in the mirror, delicately wiping away makeup and tear stains with a paper towel. Time to be an adult now. she sniffled, fixing her posture and adjusting the strap of her purse before walking out of the women’s restroom. This night doesn’t have to be a total shitshow. She could stop at the store on her way home, get some snacks, go home and take a nice bath, get into some comfortable pajamas, and eat her snacks in bed. She was determined to turn this night around because why should one asshole’s inability to hear the word “no” make her feel like shit? She stopped dead in her tracks. The answer to her rhetorical question stared her in the face. That creep was still sitting right where she left him. No doubt, waiting for her.

Without a second thought, she turned around and rushed back into the restroom. “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!!” Now he went from a douche who would pressure her into having sex with him after their shitty date if it means he’d get laid, to a legitimately scary, potential stalker. Amelia pulled out her phone, humiliated, and scrolled through her call log. The one time that she tries to stand up for herself ends with her hiding out and calling for help. Her finger hovered over Adam’s contact information while she wondered if it was worth pulling him away from his child, or if she could just make a run for it and hope for the best.

—

Matty looked down at his softening dick, ropes of cum clinging to the skin of his taut stomach. The momentary pleasure of his orgasm was already fading away, giving way to deep self-loathing. He walked into the bathroom to clean up and thought about how he can’t keep doing this. He’s better than this. Or so he’d hoped. But at the end of every draining day this week, he’d found himself laying in bed, in the exact same position. He turned the faucet on to drown out the sound of his own mind.

His problem was the isolation, Matty reasoned. Of course his mind is going to wander if all he did was sit at home, alone, overthinking and going to bed early. He needed to stay busy. He reached for his phone off the nightstand as he laid back down into bed, finding the instagram app, and scrolling mindlessly for a while. Until he stumbled upon a post that caught his eye, “Daisy Honey,” had posted a picture of herself in a bikini, with the caption “Beautiful ibiza” with a number of emojis that Matty struggled to decipher the relevance of. He clicked on her profile to learn that Daisy was 24 years old, new to LA, and her most recent YouTube video is titled “Why I’m Quitting Fast Fashion,” which, she informed her followers, is finally up, despite hotel wifi being slow, and they could all watch it by clicking the link in her bio. He clicked on the circle around her profile picture to view her stories. A photo of her, surrounded by a group of equally skinny, tall, beautiful women with the caption “my face says 73 but i finally made it to 24.”  It brought a smile to Matty’s face. He swiped up to message her. “hbd” he sent first, then he decided he should probably say more for good measure. “face looks not a day over 72,” then he sent “how is ibiza?” before he could say any more, his phone slipped out of his hands and fell, hitting his right collarbone. “fuck- christ!” he groaned. when he picked up his phone again, he had an incoming call.

“Amelia, hey- what?” He sat up, pressing the phone harder into his ear, his brows furrowing. “slow down, slow down, I can’t understand you.” He sprung to his feet, grabbing random clothing items out of his dresser. “And where was this? wait- you’re there now? stay in that bathroom. Don’t move! I’m on my way.”

—

Amelia jumped when she heard the knock on the bathroom door. She rushed to open the door, but as her hand wrapped around the doorknob, she worried that it might not be Matty. with trembling, cold fingers, she unlocked the bathroom door and slowly opened the door, mere inches at first, but as soon as she caught a glimpse of the leather jacket and dress shoes, she knew without a doubt that it was Matty. Relief filled them both as their eyes met. Matty pulled Amelia in for a hug, and she let herself get lost in his arms, clinging to his jacket for dear life. the faint scent of cigarettes and cologne, probably from a past outing, filled her lungs. She wished she could find comfort in that smell, but it gave her a keen feeling of failure instead. A failure to protect herself like a grown woman, a failure to separate herself from her amorphous relationship with Matty. In her efforts to subvert the damsel in distress narrative, she wound up right in the middle of it.

“You alright?” Matty whispered into her ear as he held her.

“Y-yeah, thanks for coming.” she reluctantly pulled away from him, keeping her gaze downward.

Matty wrapped a protective arm around her, pulling her to him. “let’s get you home, then. Shall we?”

Her heart beat pounded in her chest as the made their way through the restaurant, hoping the man she’d been hiding from wouldn’t look too closely as they approached his table, and get thrown off by Matty’s presence.

“Hold on a second.” Matty’s eyes scanned the room full of busy tables. “which one is he?”

There goes her surreptitious exit. “Matty, don’t. Please-‘

“Either you tell me which one this brainless animal is, or im going to go up to every single man sitting alone in here. As you can see, it’s quite a busy night. lots of tables. It’d take me a while, but I will do it.“

“fine, fine.” she tugged on his jacket to shut him up, standing on her tiptoes, she whispered into his ear. “man in the green shirt.”

Without a second thought, Matty grabbed a hold of her hand and marched them over to the table where this disastrous date had started. Her ‘date’ looked up, confused at the sight of her clinging to another man, but before he could speak, Matty did.

“Good evening, mate. My name’s Matty Healy, but you can just call me- actually, you know what? don’t address me at all. That’d be a waist of my time.” 

Amelia brought her free hand to wrap around Matty’s upper arm, glance at him as he spoke. She swore he looked crazed.

she felt his hand move in hers as he bent down to the man’s level and whispered something in his ear. Before she know it, Matty cupped the stunned man’s jaw, squeezing his cheeks together with his thumb and index finger and hissing an “are we fuckin clear?” at him.

A waitress suddenly appeared behind them addressing Matty with a quivering voice. “S-sir? excuse me, sir?’ but he gave no indication of being aware of her. 

“I asked you a question, bro. Don’t make me ask again, cuz you won’t like how I do it.” Matty tilted the man’s squished face upwards, staring directly into his eyes. He received an incoherent mumble in return. 

“Sir, i’m going to have to call the police now” the waitress seemingly finding her voice.

Matty’s hand slowly let go, adjusting his jacket and taking a deep breath as he finally turned to face the waitress. “No need. As soon as my new friend here apologizes to Amelia, we’ll be on our merry way.” He looked at Amelia, his entire demeanor instantly changing, his face softening, his eyes even seemed calm. With an even, relaxed tone, he asked, “what did you say this motherfucker’s name is?”

“Arthur, but, listen, Matty, I don’t need an apology, we should just-“

“‘course you don’t. Who’s he for you to need anything from him? He’s the one who needs it. Right, Arthur?” Matty, was, of course, no longer looking at Amelia.

She nodded as Arthur spat out an obligatory apology, and watch Matty reach into the pocket of his jacket and pull out his wallet. He threw a handful of bills onto the table. “dinner’s on me.” He smiled, menacingly. Turning to the waitress, he produced more cash out of his wallet and handed them to her. “for the…trouble. Goodnight.” 

—

in the car, Matty emptied his pockets into the cup holder next to him as he dug around for a lighter. He tossed his phone into it first, then his cigarettes, then a keychain stacked with keys. “the fuck is it?” he mumbled to himself. “oh shit! I don’t think I brought one. left in a hurry, and-“ he sighed. “Do me a favor, babe, pop the glove box open, there’s probably a lighter in there.”

Amelia’s lips twitched, threatening a smile, at him calling her “babe.”

“Thanks.” Matty took the lighter and picked up his almost-empty, blue  “Camel,” cigarette packet. “Wan’ on?” he mumbled with a cig dangling from the corner of his mouth. Amelia shook her head and he shrugged, turning the engine on, and reaching for the music player. “any requests?”

“N-no, you’re the captain of this ship. you make the choice.” 

“fuck yeah, I am.” he clicked a few buttons, turned a few dials, and The Chicks’ “Wide Open Spaces” filled the car, with Matty humming along and tapping his fingers against the steering wheel as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“Wanna talk about it?” Matty lowered the volume once they’d gotten to a main road.

“The- date? oh, no, thanks. Rather not.”

He nodded slowly, watching with disappointment as the traffic light turned red before he could get to it.

“Actually, there is one thing I do wanna talk about.” For the first time tonight, Amelia sounded vaguely like her normal, cheery self which made Matty smile. “I wanna know what you said to Arthur. He looked like he was seeing a ghost.” 

“Oh, right.” Matty turned to look at her, a self-satisfied grin gracing his face. “Nothing massive. Just listed the qualifications that make me capable of breaking every bone of his body if ever attempted to contact you via text, dating app, phone, or even letter, carrier pigeon, or smoke signal. Then, I described in vivid detail the creative ways in which I’d go about breaking every bone in his body….that’s all.”

He watched her smile for an instant before correcting herself and putting on an unamused face. “so, pure caveman violence. Men.”

He giggled and she felt proud of herself for eliciting that reaction out of him. She also found herself wondering why his laugh turned her on so much. she glanced to the side, to avoid staring into his beautiful eyes for too long and noticed his phone light up, the vibration making a noise against the edges of the cup holder.

It was an instagram notification from a “Daisy something” thanking him for some reason and saying that it “means a lot coming from a good looking man like him.”

Amelia felt a lump in her throat, she attempted to swallow, but her mouth felt dry. Matty looked down at his phone then back up at Amelia. A car honked behind them, alerting Matty to the traffic light turning green. He hit the gas pedal and adjusted his hold of the steering wheel. She turned away from him, sitting back and turning to watch the city whizz past the passengers window.

—

Amelia unbuckled her seatbelt and watched the door opened, Matty lending her a hand to help steady her as she stepped out of his car in her heels. He reached for her purse, grabbing it before locking the doors.

“You don’t have to-“

“okay.” Matty walked past her and pulled the building door open.

“Thanks, for, umm- tonight. And sorry I interrupted your night.”

They both spoke at once. Matty, eager to let her know that it was no problem at all, had started to speak over her when she said “I didn’t wanna call you.” He frowned, but kept his eyes straight ahead as they climbed the stairs. “I called Adam first. He didn’t answer. so, umm, then I called Ross, but i think his phone must be dead or something. George’s out of town, I know, so.’ she swallowed, her voice shaky. “Had to call you.”

Matty took a moment to absorb the sting that her words caused him, then, when he was certain his voice wouldn’t betray him, he spoke again. “Adam and Carly went to see a film tonight. Probably has his phone on silent, cinema etiquette and all that.”

He handed her her purse back and she reached into it to fish out her keys.

“Wanna come inside?” Her tone wasn’t exactly warm and hospitable. Matty sensed that he should decline.

“I don’t want to intrude….unless you want me to? I mean if- you’d rather not be alone after tonight-“

“What?  I’m totally fine, it was just a weird date, but men are gross all the time, I’ve learned to just ignore it.”

Matty looked down at his feet, summoning all of his energy to keep a smile on his face. “right. I’m off, then. Goodnight.”

***

A few minutes, and several traffic violations later, Matty found himself, drink in hand, back online.

reading back the conversation he’d just had with Daisy, he decided to act on it and get himself a seat on the next flight to LA. He needs to get out of town anyway. Get a change of scenery, break up the routine. Maybe even get some work done or see some friends.

***

Amelia tapped the screen of her phone to check the time for the third time in the last 40 minutes. She hated this feelingThe  self-imposed pressure she put on herself every weekend. To use her weekends like ‘normal people would.’ It’s not that she wanted to. Not that she wished she went out more. To the contrary, she’d much rather fold laundry, make soup, and binge-watch the same television show that she’d been obsessed with for the past three months. But she knew that it wasn’t cool or superior to stay in every weekend. In fact, on the days where she’s clear and honest enough with herself, she can admit that her hermetic lifestyle is probably hurting her friendships.She should be calling people up and making plans. The problem was that she felt no inclination to do so. The main activities of people her age were geared towards  hooking up or finding a relationship. Neither of which came naturally to her. If, again, she were honest with herself she would admit that her instinct to stay at home all the time might have something to do with the fact that she’d feel weird and out of place if she did go out. Why should she force herself to be someone she’s not? caught up in a moment of self-affirmation, she picked up her phone and deleted her online dating apps. “No more creeps.”

Moments after setting her phone down, her screen lit up. It was a call, from Matty. She picked the phone back up and almost answered it . She didn’t want to appear too eager, though, so she let it ring one beat, two beats, then reminded herself again that she ought not to force herself to behave unnaturally and answered the call with an excited greeting.

“Heyyyy, Mia. how do you do?”

She frowned, “‘how do you do?’ Matty, are you drunk?”

“N-no! Not really, anyway….just a bit tipsy.” he chuckled.

“At this time of the day? are you insane?” she moved her phone away from her ear to double-check the time.

“Oh, no. I’m in LA, Mia. Guess I forgot to say that.”

“oh.” an unidentifiable feeling of discomfort rushed through her blood upon learning that Matty was thousands of miles away. “business or pleasure?”

“You know me, darlin.’ Business IS pleasure to me.” Matty, cracked unable to say that with a serious tone, he giggled to himself.

“Never say that again. like…ever.”

“Fair enough. nah, for real though. Just here to see some people. might get some work done though. Saw Phoebe, and, some people tonight.”

“Bridgers? Oh, how is she?” Amelia always got excited to hear about Matty’s adventures on the other side of the world, especially if any of them involved Phoebe Bridgers.

“She’s alright. It was a bunch of us actually. some people from her band, and a couple of guys from our offices and stuff. so I haven’t got anything juicy for you. just a night out.”

Matty entertained Amelia’s extremely specific and completely random questions about what it’s like to be out with Phoebe Bridgers. Nothing he hasn’t answered before, but it always seemed to make her happy, and he found the fangirl within her quite endearing.

“So, where are you right now? Where are you calling me from?” Amelia asked after a lull in the conversation.

“Hotel room. bed, specifically.” he laughed as he added, “I’m not at Phoebe’s home or anything.”

“I suppose it’s late where you are now, yes?”

“mhm.” Matty switched his phone to the other ear, to give is right side a rest, “You know what I was thinking, though? We haven’t taught you any new bedroom tricks in a while. Does that make me a bad teacher?”

“You’re always traveling, so, yeah. You think students learn anything while their teacher’s on holiday?”

“Oh, my sweet, innocent, Mia.” His voice suddenly changed, sounding deeper, darker. “You really do need this education, don’t you?” 

“I- what’s- what?”

“Don’t have to be in the same room together to have sex.” Matty pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor and undoing his jeans. “We don’t even have to be in the same time zone.”

“oh?” It took her scrambled mind a moment to take in his suggestion. “Oh, you- you mean…phone sex?”

***

Amelia couldn’t believe that she’d agreed to this. But stepping out of her comfort zone is the whole point of their arrangement. Besides, she’d missed him. Missed having sex with him. Missed his delicate touch, coupled with his firm decisive voice, always seeming to know exactly what to say to put her at ease and cut the tension. Always knowing what to do to ensure her safety and pleasure. She was never gonna find that on a dating app.

“Yeah, i’m ready, I just- don’t know wh-“

“You let me worry about the logistics, just need you to relax, okay, darlin’?” She could hear the smile in his voice, and she’d see it enough times to be able to picture his face perfectly. At this rate, it really won’t take much. Maybe this whole thing is easier than she’d imagined.

“I know it feels odd, yeah?” Matty’s voice invaded her senses. She closed her eyes, resting her naked back against the mattress. She wanted to feel him everywhere. “I get it.’ He continued, “the whole point of sex is that it’s about being there. feeling everything. my skin against yours. My lips on your neck, your arms wrapped around my back, nails digging into my skin, pulling me closer and closer as I move inside you, until we’re chest to chest. no room for even air, between us.”

Amelia felt the urge to clench her legs as Matty went on. “your fingers, running through my hair,” Amelia’s hands reached below her waist, towards the wetness between her legs. “im so on top of you that my lips are by your ear. you can hear, feel, see, and touch me. It’s overwhelming to have so much of your mind and body stimulated. That’s why orgasms feel so intense” Matty was breathless, He took a moment to collect himself. “But when you do it on the phone….it’s weird. we’re not together. There’s a machine between us. But, I think if you close your eyes.” Matty swore he heard her moan, but he wasn’t going to interrupt her to ask, “Remember what I taught you about touching yourself.” The reminder was meant to be for her, but it helped that images of her with her hands between her legs, doing what he told her to do came flooding through the front of his mind, too. “Do you remember all that?” His own hand dipped underneath the duvet.

“mhm” she whined, desperate.

“No, Amelia. Use your words.” He was stern, but he swallowed his own moan to maintain that tone.

“I- ah- I remember. I promise.” She yelled out, impatient.

“Good. then all you have to do is make yourself feel good. And picture me, on top of you, kissing down your body, your breasts, your stomach. worshipping every inch of your skin the way that it deserves to be worshipped. especially the insides of your thighs. fuck-i can’t wait to have my lips on your cunt again, soon.”

Her hips swayed as she shook, moving her fingers faster and faster as Matty’s voice filled her head. “Matty, please, umm- i’m close- I”

“Together, then, alright? cum for me, baby.”

“Fuck!!” she heard the phone slide off the bed and fall to the floor as she convulsed from head to toe.

****

It was hours later, the sun already coming up outside of Matty’s hotel window, when they finally ended their call. Sleep had overtaken him completely. With squinting, watery eyes, he sent her a final message, before plugging his phone in to charge, and falling asleep.

In her own bed, Amelia stared at the text with a smile on her face.

“Good girl xx  [this is me kissing you like I usually do before leaving] goodnight.”

butterflies in her stomach and echoes of Matty’s voice in her mind were distracting her from her usual quotidian activities. She scrolled through her phone, to find something else to think about and redirect her thoughts. And the internet, as always, never disappoints.

News had now traveled across the pond and headlines began to circulate everywhere.

Matty Healy stumbles, looking intoxicated out of mystery apartment. featuring a photo of Matty, on the streets of LA blinded by the flashing lights.

Amelia hated that her first thought was “his eyes! that must have given him a headache.”

another headline read,

Matt Healy, lead singer of British Rock band seen in LA with Phoebe Bridgers and friends.above a picture of Matty, with a group of people, some of whom she recognized, but a couple of whom she didn’t. including the brunette on Matty’s arm.

Phoebe Bridgers x 1975 collab? Lead Singer of Indie Band Matty Healey and 'Punisher' Singer On Double Date in LA

Amelia set her phone down, clutching her waist as she felt an impossibly tight knot twist in her stomach. It felt like her heart had been physically stabbed.

[euphoric-dramione]

manacled

tw: spoilers for manacled

this one will be long, so brace yourselves

I first read Manacled in 2020, and it must've been the third Dramione fanfic I ever read, so I was truly very impressed with how well written it was. It remained the best and my favorite fanfic up until I started rereading it recently, and I'm writing this rant because I just finished rereading Manacled for a third time and I have some thoughts.

Firstly, it's important to state that back in 2020 I was still a high-school student, I loved reading books, especially classic literature, but I had little understanding of why some pieces of literature become classics and others don't. I just liked reading, and just like many other people, I thought that fanfiction was bad because all I've ever known at that point was Wattpad. Manacled changed my opinion. It was the best thing I had ever read, but I was only nineteen.

Now I am twenty-three, I have a degree in English literature, and although it might mean nothing to some people, it proves to me that I can read and understand texts as well as view them critically - my degree gave me tools to approach things I read and see using critical thinking skills. I don't want to critique Manacled because I think that all fanfiction is a wonderful gift that writers give readers for free, asking nothing in return, and that is such a lovely concept, so please keep that in mind when you read and review fanfiction. My critique stems more from what Manacled tells about the way we read classic literature, books in general, and how we deal when we face dubious morality. There is a thin line between books and literature - sometimes that line doesn't even exist. All literature is books, but not all books are literature. Just like all books are texts, but not all texts are books. What is Manacled then?

I'm choosing to speak about Manacled because I think it does a very interesting thing. It is an intertext of two books - Harry Potter and The Handmaid's Tale. Both of them are books, only one of them is literature, however in Manacled they are treated the same.

The Handmaid's Tale is a gruesome novel about a dystopian world where fertile women are slaves to men, their ability to bare children used as a weapon to exploit them. As the author herself, Margaret Atwood, stated, everything depicted in this novel had in some place or some time actually happened to women.

Rape in The Handmaid's Tale is a way for men to demonstrate how much power they have over women, and how they use that power to humiliate and control every aspect of women's lives, especially their reproductive health. Manacled picks up the very carcass of the story of The Handmaid's Tale and inserts it into a dark AU Harry Potter universe where the second wizarding war with Voldemort still continues some years later. Whereas The Handmaid's Tale is a thought-provoking feminist masterpiece about women's struggles and the never-ending violence perpetuated within walls of patriarchy, Manacled focuses solely on one woman and one man. The woman being Hermione Granger who is forced to bear Draco Malfoy's child in order to get her memories back, so Voldemort could rule forever. Later on, we figure out that Hermione and Draco were actually in love, but war set them apart, and it's him Hermione tried to protect by erasing her own memory. Here lies the distinction. Not only does Manacled say nothing about feminism and how women's bodies become war battlefields for, most often, men. Not speaking up on something in the intertext is absolutely nothing wrong. But Manacled does something else, something that I now see so clearly upon rereading, and something which I can neither forgive nor forget. It romanticizes rape. You might say I'm being too callous saying that it romanticizes rape when it is simply depicting in, and I will explain why I chose the word romanticizes.

Although Manacled doesn't allow us to attribute good or bad traits to characters, it is still very clear that Hermione is the heroine in this story and Draco - the hero with antihero characteristics. How do we deal with the fact that our hero hurt our heroine? We look for excuses. Draco Malfoy rapes Hermione, and we're looking for excuses as to why he did it. Some excuses are these: he did it because he loved her, because if he hadn't raped her, Voldemort would've found out that they were hiding something, and then would've killed them both; he did it, but it hurt him even more than it hurt her (it is true that both the victim and the perpetrator might be equally traumatized by an event one caused and another had to suffer through, but it never excuses the perpetrator); and finally - he did it because he had no other choice. Side tangent, but if my loved one ever has to choose between murdering me or raping me, I hope they kill me. Murder me a million times before you rape me once, that will be a greater mercy. And I believe had Draco actually loved Hermione as much as he claimed, he would've murdered her before he laid a finger on her. Let's also have in mind that he rapes her not once, not twice, but over THIRTY times.

While The Handmaid's Tale tirelessly shows that rape is the worst thing that one person can do to another, Manacled, with all its horrifying depiction, claims the complete opposite. Draco Malfoy rapes Hermione Granger, and although he doesn't take pleasure in it, he still does it. We find excuses for it because he is a hero of the story in our eyes, the same way that we find excuses for our favorite famous men when we find out they committed atrocious acts especially against women. When we read Manacled, we are encouraged to believe that rape is sometimes unavoidable, which is the greatest lie of all, it is blasphemous. Because it's Draco Malfoy committing the rape, it seems that sometimes a person has no other choice but to rape another which is a complete antithesis to what Margaret Atwood, and many other modern feminist thinkers claim. Of course, we don't need feminst thinkers to tell us rape is bad, but we might need to think a little deeper to understand that it is never something one has to do.

Rape is always avoidable, never necessary. It is perhaps the only crime that is committed not for some particular reason, but solely because one person wants to hurt another. Murder, theft, these are the crimes that a criminal might commit because they're poor, because they're are being blackmailed, because it's self-defense, etc. However, rape is such a horrifying crime specifically because you can always choose not to do it, and specifically because it is so hard to recover from - rape victims suffer more extreme and longer-lasting cases of PTSD than victims of any other crime because rape is so horrible and death might be considered dignified compared to rape, not better, but more merciful than rape. Draco Malfoy might be a lot of things in Manacled, but one of them is a rapist, and there is simply no going on around it. If you can forgive him, I hope it's because of all the other fanfics you've read where he was good and kind, and not because here he had no other choice but to rape, because that is simply not true. He had a choice, many choices, to be exact. The choice is always there. The most important thing is what we choose.

This is in no way an attack on Manacled, it is not a review nor is it hatespeech - I thoroughly enjoyed this fanfic back when I read it the first time, and I do think it is incredibly well-written, and I am not comparing it to any other published works because that would be unfair. I believe the things I've talked about have more to do with what regular people who are not writers write and how regular readers who do not read classics all the time accept and discuss that work later on. Anyone could've written something romanticizing rape, and many people do it all the time, some even get published and make money off it, but not all people can write as well as the author of Manacled, and even less would be ready to give us their work to read for free. I purposely do not mention the pseudonym of the author because I am also not attacking them personally, simply pointing out what I've noticed. Thank you for reading all the way to the end.

[gatheringbones]

[“Listen to me: It is not gauche to write about trauma. It is subversive. The stigma of victimhood is a timeworn tool of oppressive powers to gaslight the people they subjugate into believing that by naming their disempowerment they are being dramatic, whining, attention-grabbing, or else beating a dead horse. By convincing us to police our own and one another’s stories, they have enlisted us in the project of our own continued disempowerment.

Believe me, I wish this horse was dead. Take a few of many, many such statistics in a grossly underreported set of crimes: the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey recently found that 13.1 percent of lesbians, 46.1 percent of bisexual women, and 17.4 percent of heterosexual women have been raped, physically assaulted, or stalked. According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), an American is sexually assaulted every sixty-eight seconds, and one in six women the victim of rape or attempted rape. TGQN (transgender, genderqueer, nonconforming) students are more often sexually assaulted than non-TGQN students. Indigenous Americans are twice as likely to experience a sexual assault as an American of any other race.

Just as the justice system was not designed to protect or enact justice for all (and often was designed to protect those with the most power from their harms against those with less), the values of literary publishing were not designed to support or promote all stories. This has been shifting in recent years, but I have learned not to overestimate the speed of institutional change. A little bit after a long time of nothing can be easy to mistake for more than it is. Still, the dominant culture tells us that we shouldn’t write about our wounds and their healing because people are fatigued by stories about trauma? No. We have been discouraged from writing about it because it makes people uncomfortable. Because a patriarchal society wants its victims to be silent. Because shame is an effective method of silencing.

I used to scoff at memoirs and I was embarrassed to admit that I had started writing one. It was a serious book, I insisted regularly, not only concerned with my experience but with ideas. Now, this practice strikes me as similar to how, as a lifelong feminist who prefers sex and partnerships with women, I have been insisting for my entire life that I’m not an angry man-hating lesbian. That I hate the systems, not the people. Of course I do not hate every man. The very fact that I, and so many women, are compelled to incessantly reassure them of this is more evidence of our continued oppression.”]

melissa febos, from body work: the radical power of personal narrative, 2022

[thebdsmsofurlife]

Which type of cunt are you?

A. You look innocent. Somewhat classy, but deep inside, you have sick twisted fantasies and it makes you wet, just knowing how filthy you really are. How no one has a clue about it. You know you are sicker and filthier than most girls. Reblog and say “I am sick, daddy” if you belong to this category.

B. You’re a nympho slut. A sex-addict. A cumwhore. Even while you function and do your daily chores, being filled, fucked and used is the only thing on the back of your mind. You pretend to be classy, but secretly you’re a wet mess all fucking day. Sex is the only thing on your mind. You could feel your pussy all day long, if you wouldn’t have to do chores. Just need the right man to use you and keep you on his leash, all day long. Reblog and say “Break me, daddy” if you belong to this category.

C. Humiliation. That’s what makes you cum. Being treated like trash. Being called names. Pissed on. Slapped. Treated like a fucking sex object with all dignity and self respect taken away. You feel guilty later on, after you’ve been used. After you cum. Yet within a few hours, you’re craving that degradation again. Caught in the vicious cycle again and you know there’s no escaping now. You’ll never be able to cum to a “nice” guy again. Don’t need them either. Reblog and say “I am trash, daddy” if you belong to this category.

D. You have a Husband. A boyfriend. A lover, yet here you are. Cumming to rough, degrading porn. To women being used like shit and half wishing it was you. Your partner has no idea you’re here and nor is he kinky or wild enough to use you like this. Fucking need to cheat on him secretly and be used. You need daddy to use you like you were made to be used and cheating only makes this cunt drip more. Reblog and say “make me cheat, daddy” if you belong to this category.

E. No strong father figure in your life? Even when you had one, you were neglected. Making you attracted towards a strong father figure from an early age. You want to call a guy “daddy” before doing everything in your way to please him. That’s how you’ll earn the affection you never got. You’re broken now and you’ve got daddy issues, but you’ve embraced it. Reblog and say “You are my daddy” if you belong to this category.

F. You want to be controlled, from what you think about to what you wear. Tasks and rules complete you. You want to be brainwashed. Corrupted. Left an addict by daddy till the point that you can’t say no, even when you want to. You act normal, but deep down inside you just want to be an owned, braindead sextoy. Once a good girl, now reduced to nothing but a vacant look and gaping holes. Reblog and say “Brainwash me, daddy” if you belong to this category.

G. You’ve always stood up for girls around you. Stood up against perverts. Even against those misogynistic jokes guys cracked around you. You’re not scared of speaking out against men like that either. A true feminist on the outside that’s not scared of letting her opinions known. Vocal about protecting other girls. They don’t know how you go home though and secretly cum to thoughts of men violating and abusing you. How you secretly can’t get enough of being a fuck object. That’s all that you really want, deep down inside. A secret feminist skank, nothing more. Reblog and say “Me too, daddy” if you belong to this category.

H. You love being an object. You’re pretty. You’ve got a nice body. You pretend like you’re dressing up for yourself and you even give men dirty looks when they stare at your legs in a skirt, or those juicy tits and cleavage popping out. Secretly though? You love it, whore. You love that men are just objectifying you. That’s all you want to be for them too. A fucking sex object. Reminded that you’re nothing but holes to get off to. Reblog and say “Objectify me, daddy” if you belong to this category.

I. You love being a filthy race traitor. You’d be a disappointment to your family, if they ever knew what you crave. The more they wanted to keep you ‘pure’, the more you want a man from another race to fucking ruin you. An interracial addict by now. Betraying your own race, thoughts and even your own husband because a dirty dark man’s cock is all that gets you off now. Their brutality is what you need. Reblog and say “Destroy my race, daddy” if you belong to this category.

J. You love being in a risky situation or place. Risk is what pushes you over the edge. The more wrong it is? The more risky it gets? The more it makes your cunt leak. Could be sexting at work. Letting a man degrade you while you’re sitting next to your mom. Or simply talking to your husband about his day while I keep texting you and tell you what a dirty fucking slut you are. Let daddy put you in that position. Reblog and say “Risk it, daddy” if you belong to this category.

Think I missed out on a category? Let me know and I’ll put that up too. Choose a max of three categories which suit you best and let daddy know

[olderthannetfic]

I’m this anon who asked about radical feminist/trans debates. I appreciate your response and those of your commenters, particularly @elfwreck who described a long evolution of discourse that I’ve missed. I’ve not been intentionally dense…just a woman and working mother who’s been busy as hell for about the last 15 years and focused on getting through the day. I’ve always supported gay rights, never gave it a second thought. With my kids older and more time on my hands, I started exploring fanfic and have been drawn in. One thing led to another and I find myself down tumblr rabbit holes with women raising questions about girls sports and the dangers of HRT for teens and whether lesbians are allowed to not like dicks, with responses that generally amount to “die terf”. I start researching online and find academic papers and news articles, but find essentially a similar message to you and your commenters: “radical feminists are obviously wrong and not to be taken seriously”. No addressing the questions I’ve seen raised. I get the point—one side is indefensible and I missed the boat on seeing the discussion play out many years ago. I suppose I was looking for a short cut through social media which feels silly in retrospect. Regardless, the radical feminists are out there making intellectual arguments across social media on a range of topics, including men in general, misogyny, porn, prostitution. In all likelihood the post that first pulled me in to their viewpoints related to the imbalance between women and their husbands with respect to child raising, housework, and expressing anger over daily aggravations, which rang completely true to my personal experience and that of other women I know. Likely why I now find myself caught up in fanfic escapism. Anyhow, I’ll dig in deeper to academic literature on the intersection of women’s rights, gay rights, and trans rights because I finding myself caring to know this history now.

--

It happens.

A lot of the roots of current feminist debate are in the Feminist Sex Wars of the 80s. Those were about differing ideas around protecting women and the implications of pornography.

(TBH, part of how very old arguments are able to rear their ugly heads again is that this shit is old enough that the youth weren't born yet during those debates.)

While not about trans stuff per se, some of the ideas about embattled women whose territory is being encroached on link back to there. The "argument", to the extent that the anti-trans side has one, tends to be about defending women's spaces. Many of these arguments are coming from a place of genuine fear. (Maybe not realistic fear, but I believe them that they're traumatized and reacting accordingly.) Some, however, are malicious indoctrination.

There have been efforts (sometimes admitted to publicly, often not) to literally infiltrate young lefty spaces with this kind of rhetoric. It's the queer and female youth version of gamer boys getting indoctrinated by the alt right. So people on my blog have very limited patience for anything that gives this shit the time of day.

I don't think there's a particularly good shortcut since it's the culmination of decades of fighting.

But where I'd start would be by saying that a lot of the arguments sound good on the surface but boil down to "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" traps.

If someone on social media is still hung up on "But BDSM is abuse! A woman cannot meaningfully consent because [bullshit we fought about in the 80s]", we have nothing to say to each other.

The anti-kink and anti-trusting people when they say they consent attitudes tend to go hand-in-hand with suspicion of trans people and refusal to let people define their own identities.

Misogyny and unfair work distributions are absolutely real, but there's a certain "war on women" rhetoric that's about as legit as the "war on Christmas".

The "other" side agrees about a lot of the basics, like the fact that a lot of dudes really need to hold up their end of relationships better when both partners work and nobody should be solely in charge of the house.

But some feminist classic like the comic You should've asked is not on "The Feminist Side" as opposed to "The Trans Side". Regular feminism doesn't take issue with trans people. Lots of regular feminism accepts that women are kinky and horny and like impure things.

These feminist basics are often used as a strawman ("Our opponents disagree with this basic idea they clearly do not actually disagree with!") and as camouflage for much stupider ideas, like the notion that trans women would choose to be a demographic that gets murdered in bathrooms a lot. It's not cis women who are in danger from trans women! That's complete horseshit.

A lot of the talk of embattled lesbian space actually means "Oh no, some butches came out as trans men eventually, and we have to acknowledge bisexual women now".

--

Re the HRT thing... Yes, there are dangers to prescribing kids and teens hormones. A family should go into the process with a clear understanding of the effects on bone density and such. These risks can be managed the same as menopausal women manage bone density risks. These are not horrific and unknown problems: they're commonplace medical issues we've dealt with before in other contexts. They don't have to be a big deal unless a kid has some pre-existing bone disorder or something.

The part the transphobes don't tell you is that the biggest danger to trans teens is suicide.

Depending on which study you look at, something like 80% of trans youth have serious suicidal thoughts and maybe half make an actual attempt. Lots of teens have issues, but these rates are staggeringly higher than for cis peers, even cis gay peers who also tend to have higher rates than cis het teens.

Forcing someone to go through the body horror of the wrong puberty is... well... not great for their mental health. So a lot of medical professionals are understandably eager to treat kids and teens early because of the huge lasting mental toll. Taking hormones early can also result in an adult body that passes better. And perhaps people shouldn't have to pass as cis to be treated how they want to be treated, but we live in the real world.

Some people do start treatment and then regret it. That's reality. But it's a small percentage, and the issue is often that they're nonbinary and weren't presented with any options other than cis of their assigned sex at birth or transsexual in the 90s sense where you want the full top and bottom surgeries and you're still very binary. I know people who've detransitioned to a degree, but they're not like "Ah yes, I was 100% cis and a fool!" There was generally something going on, just something harder to pin down.

(In fact, most of the "evidence" of people regretting transition are from contexts where the only way to socially transition and get your government ID changed and so on was to do the full medical transition. The regretters would most likely have preferred something in the middle but were not allowed access to what they needed by punitive laws.)

A bunch of alarmist dickheads want to tell you that trans youth don't know their own minds and that everything will be safer and healthier if they just wait to get treatment. In most cases, this is completely untrue.

There used to be far more psychiatric roadblocks to getting physical medical treatment. What the haters want is for these to return. But they didn't deter trans people back then, and they're not going to now.

--

Re the dicks thing... People roll their eyes because it's such an old canard. Nobody thinks lesbians should be required to like dicks. Nobody thinks lesbians should be required to date trans women either.

But lots of trans women get bottom surgery and don't even have a penis. In any case, whether they get surgery or not, reducing them to a body part is the kind of bio-essentialist nonsense feminism normally strives to debunk.

These arguments boil down to "Have penis, will rape".

--

Re sports... Trans women don't end up being the issue. In practice, when there's a lot of scrutiny, what happens is that black cis women are seen as literally not female enough and racist shitheads demand that their hormone levels be tested and they be branded Not Female for testosterone levels or something.

Whatever this kind of regulation is intended to do, in practice, it establishes a correct way to be female, and that way is to have a body that conforms to a particular "feminine", white beauty standard.

The athletes who end up being attacked are sometimes intersex, which they may not even have known. Sometimes, they're just taller and stronger than other women. Often, they don't look normative enough to a bunch of creeps because they're too black.

The assholes cover it up with a good line of patter, but that's where this ends: treating black women like freaks.

--

The bottom line is that anti-trans supposed feminists try to pretend they speak for feminists in general and that there are two major sides locked in conflict.

In fact, they're fringe weirdos who've gained new prominence, particularly in the UK with the backing of JKR, and the rest of the feminists are over here going "This shit again? Jesus!"

I don't waste time debating their "intellectual" arguments on social media for the same reason I don't debate eugenics-preaching racists or fundie religious nuts.

Hence the lack of good resources on "both sides".

[katshuya]

Lyanna Stark carries some blame too!

Warning: This is not to hate on her, nor I'm denying that she was a young girl and to some degree MAY have been fooled. This is about accountability first and second her genius fans and the shippers

I literally talked to several people here who ships her with Rhaegar and they were ones who have posts that have most likes over discussions about them as I have seen so far and very clever takes that break down every argument as other Rhaegar and Lyanna fans claim. And I swear to god the amount of cope and stupid theories they say is ridiculous. Like all long posts and literally nothing!

My only regret is how I didn't take screenshots of their very clever arguments. All of them ended up deleting my comments when they couldn't reply and was hurt by me saying that Rhaegar could have very possibly liked Elia in Romantic way to some extent and that copmplex realtionship doesn't necessarily mean there was no love or attraction.

Apparently now we are liars and don't care about Elia and just want to shit on Rhaegar and Lyanna and if we truly liked her we'd want her to be a woman who never loved Rhaegar at all.

Not even a little feeling to the man, she agreed to risk her life for him and his prophecy no. We should say according to them that she did that to stabilize her position as future queen and mother of the next heir who eats, drinks and sleeps peacefully and that is more feminist as they MOCKED than her being hurt by Rhaegar (Rhaegar who is said to be very charming to all women but apparently he never charmed Elia according to their little hearts that refuse to accept there might have been something of romance between her and Rhaegar) .

Them: Like, what do you mean she would mind seeing her husband love another girl more after she did everything for him?😡 That's very not good interpretation and characterization of Elia. She should only care about her position! oh! She is the victim of her mother's AMbiTIOns

AND! Her liking Rhaegar and risking her life to give him children makes her weak!

Trasnslation: I can't accept her liking Rhaegar, or this will make the asshole prince I ship myself with as a self-insert of Lyanna more asshole and unlikable to others So Elia must never like Rhaegar in order for my ship to work! Let's work hard on making people believe this is the only possible scenario AND the only way for Elia to be strong good character otherwise she is weak silly girl if she loved her charismatic husband so my ship can sail!

That's the true strong woman and we Elia-fans are just bunch of haters and don't really like her and we are the actual misogynist for not saying she never liked Rhaegar and for not loving their GIrl BoSS lyanan stark.

No, I don't ship Rhaegar and Elia. I'm just stating a very possible scenario. I really don't do ships. I simply like Elia.

As for Lyanna....

Yes, Lyanna carries some blame, too, in case she knew of Rhaegar's plan and agreed to it and went willingly. You don't get to tell me that I shouldn't blame her because most blame falls on men, and she was young?????

Like make it make sense. To what extent could your age protect you from accountability when you hurt others? Since when being young gives you the right to escape accountability? How else do you make sure that they don't turn out nasty?

Her escaping Robert and her eloping with married man EVEN in a scenario where Elia agreed are two different things that don't connect. (Elia would never agree happily. In such a scenario, she has no choice because of the prophecy.), it doesn't delete her mistakes. It simply makes her less guilty.

Reminder! She didn't escape until Rhaegar appeared. This may mean she never intended to escape until she fell in love with this married charismatic prince charming even in a scenario where she was a greenseer and saw her and Rhaegar are a MUst Be. They still ignored many things like others' safety for unsure prophecy.

Her story is so much more than just her age.

You all just ignore everything to make her look like nothing but a victim.

I had one tell me we shouldn't blame her because of the girl's girl and because men take most blame in her story??? Yes, they do, and??? Is that how we deal with women's mistakes now? As long as the biggest culprit is a man and you are young, you are free from accountability?

If this is what a girl's girl means now, then I'm not a girl's girl.

And guess what? Yes, I blame her to some degree and don't hate her. Yes, I definitely don't see her as likable but definitely not evil, and I know many of you don't accept these things mixed, but like or not they do with me and with many others who are silent about it because they don't want to be called ridiculous for disliking young girl. But not me. I don't mind.