#there is no public transportation. just this stupid
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Can I be vulnerable or will I get shot to death bullet nasty bullets
#I’m so lonely I hate the suburbs there is no gatherings for connections and I have yet to get my license#I feel like ripping my hair out#I’m so lonely. no one is ever outside#it’s just shopping .working or home#there is no gatherings besides churches#and religion is really really bad for me mentally. sorry#I can’t participate. I’m also queer#but I could hide that but I wouldn’t connect to anyone#might as well eat at a McDonald’s while watching people pass by#I didn’t stay connected to any of my friends at school cause I didn’t share intrests or humor#and I was underdeveloped . as a person#I’m so behind and I’m so lonely I want out I want out#there is no public transportation. just this stupid#bare necessities. a park. a River. and endless housing.#no side walks. like max 3 benches . excluding the SINGEL SMALL AREA . for performances#doesn’t count#been there for like centuries#I feeel like crying. or jumping offf the nearby bridge over the river#I want to be independent.#but I need my license. which requires me to have free time. and for my parents to have free time. and to find a slot in the crowded dmv#and for me to not mess up#and I need a job#I don’t want to do collage. I don’t . well I do. but I don’t know WHAT I FUCKING WANT#I HAVE NO BASE FOR WHAT ANYTHING IS#THIS JUST FEELS LIKE A SECOND HIGH SCHOOL#I DONT KNOW WHAT JOB I WANT#I WANNA WORK AT A FUCKING WALMART OR SOMETHING#PLEASE#just . let me work . somewhere#I’ll hate it I know but I feel so stagnet
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have a lead on a subaru for approximately $2000 going to look at it tomorrow. i don't want a car but people are telling me i should check it out so i guess i will. i've always felt destined to be a subaru owner anyway
#no idea of any of the specs lmao it's just some coworker of the person whose horse i took care of selling it#it sounded like she wasn't even sure he was selling it so like what are we even doing. but whatever#i also don't have $2000 obviously and the thought of driving again makes me want to throw up lol ❤️ but i do want to move somewhere else#like somewhere in the woods away from people. of course not the most public transport conducive environment#i'm literally panicking over the thought of driving it around the block or whatever. lmao i will straight up get lost#kind of feeling like i'm way too stupid and mentally ill rn to be driving also#me
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it's gonna take me an hour and a half at least to get to the new bus station
#how stupid do you have to be to take out the bus station from the city center where it takes roughly the same time for everybody to get to#it and move it to novibeograd where you're just gonna create more traffic over bridges and collapse the already shit public transport system#ura.txt
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he tried to talk to me 3 times today and i acted like he wasn't there each time. i am the worst person you know confirmed 💖
#jo in the tardis*#i was trying not to cry on public transport AND#i think there are 3 reasons why i'm doing this... 1) it's a reflex mechanism 2) i went through something awful recently and haven't let#myself process it like that i just pulled through and the 3) i like him SO overwhelmingly much#like i have never cared this much about someone like that and i hate how stupid this sounds but#i don't know how else to say it. like usually i only care about who that other person is apart from me but this time#i actually care about whether he cares about ME or not#and every possible answer to that terrifies me... but then again he hasn't given up on me#and i keep doing this same thing but he's still there and if i don't pull it together soon he won't be anymore#anyways! this is embarrassing and i suckkkk so much. time to pretend this hasn't happened and study forever
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Certified florida moment.
#i hate it here <3#yeah man just keep pouring concrete on everything there will be no consequences just keep building yea just keep on doing that#hey @everyone did you know there are other places in the world#you can just go there. go there instead. stop moving here. do people not realize they are actively destroying this place by moving here#we do not need to cater to every boomer in 1 state#please. plesase. plseas. pls. plseas please plsea its. so .. crowded. please. drop dead already.#not going to post the full article (its not that long) but this shit was happening in secret#sometimes i wish gators were less chill. if they were like crocs at least some of the golfers would be taken as payment yknow.#if you want to cut down some of the rarest ecosystems you really do need to get deathrolled by a gator i dont make the rules#a large part of my hatred of tourists and transplants is because of things like this#they do not come here in good faith. they come here to see artificial bullshit which leads to building MORE artificial bs#or they come here for 'culture war' nonsense. importing the dumbest rich people as public service to the rest of the states.#the other part is that they are either rude or stupid almost every time#we do not need more golf courses. or malls. or water parks. or hotels. the only thing we need is affordable housing and public transport#but that will never happen because fuck you if you aren't a millionaire. thats how things work down here.#the craziest thing is- at least in the 2 (used to be 4) golf courses i pass by regularly. you rarely ever see a single person on them#they got rid of 2 of them because it was more profitable to build a shopping center on 1 and they are building a soccer stadium on the othe
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re: drive, do what you did with your sister when y'all went to Texas but alone?
when i drove from San Francisco to essentially Vancouver on my way to Alaska, it was literally like every other road trip except i had to call all the shots. which was stressful af since this wasnt a For Fun trip so i asked for a buddy on my way back down
oh!! you can bring like a plushie and take photos of it in places :3 that is your travel buddy
ah!! yeah, see, the biggest problem is that my sister did most of the planning for that trip skdhfskdg
it is,,, mmmmm,,, well part of it is that i'm going to be flying instead of driving! since it's a 30hr drive :') which is Fine and Okay except i have to go through 2 of the busiest US airports by myself with next-to-no experience :'))) i may or may not be very nervous about that lmao
but other than that it's also gonna be a longer trip! im going for about a week (probably, i know i'll be leaving saturday but idk what day i want to return home yet) whereas my trip to texas with my sister was 3 days, as was my trip with my other sister when we went to california! (<- that was also my only airport/plane experience thus far) so im gonna have more time there to actually Do Things as opposed to just... Day 1. Arriving, Day 2. Doing the Single Thing, and then Day 3. Leaving
that said though, a travel buddy actually sounds like a very good thing for me to bring!! ive done similar things on big family road trips where we would stop to remember to take photos, though those were more of Us than anything else, but i think it would be a nice way to remember to actually TAKE photos!! as well as helping me actually stay calm enough to figure things out :)
#id also add that my other sister also did most of the planning for california ;;;#like they both consulted me on it ofc and i am pretty sure i was there when my sister bought the plane tickets but like#they also had both had trips like those prior (california sis went to illinois with her partner/texas sis drove cross-country on her own)#so they both had some experience already with it and i just ;;;#idk#a lot of it is stupid technical stuff that i SHOULD be able to figure out but am stressing over anyway#like actually getting a hotel room and figuring out transport while im up there and everything#though it'll be a big city so im sure that i could use public transport but that goes again into figuring out HOW TO since#i come from a town/city with little to no public transport whatsoever and very limited experience using it elsewhere#and just#OUGH#then its like WHEN do i buy the tickets and the hotel and everything like should i work on that NOW or?????#fuck <3#as you can see. kinda stressed about it.#im figuring it out though i'll probably call my dad at some point next month and ask him#he always planned all of our family road trips so he knows what hes talking about ;;;;;#askers#cozy-fish-crow#shh ac
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How do I keep this dying plant alive?
I think it's an African Violet but I'm not 100% sure. It was a bit lopsided and wonky when I got it but since then it's gotten worse and lost a ton of leaves. I don't know what's wrong. Maybe it's the cold?
Any and all advice welcome because I don't know how to take care of plants like at all
#i got it at a fundraiser thing last week#and then carried though a protest and like 3 hours of public transport#so maybe it got knocked up a bit then?#or it could just be bad conditions#but if it's the cold how do i fix that?#i cant afford heating bills for me let alone a plant#maybe a little hot air thing i put next to it#it could be lack of light maybe#it is by a window but its just been rain and gray all week#or am i watering it wrong#help#plants#gardening#horticulture#how am i meant to be a hot plant dad if i csnt even keep this little guy alive#i am emotionally attached to this stupid plant#it was a palestine fundraiser and watching the it die is fucking depressing#i cant even help the stupid plant
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mutuals. i am going to see the national touring production of the company revival. in chicago.
#purrs#it’s $23 for a ticket and it’s blocks away from where the conference hotel is. im going to SOB. im going to lose my fucking mind. im shaking#i just bought the ticket. im going to see it by myself. im going to go see it and im going to ….. oh my god. OH MY GOD. km going to travel#there by train. by myself. oh my goddddd oh my god. maybe im jumping the gun but oh my god.#this is going to fix me. i am going to watch britney coleman sing being alive and it’s going to fix me.#im kinda stupid for buying a ticket before ive like. made plans with other people who will be going there but. AHHHHHH#this will be the biggest bravest thing ive ever done. ive never been on public transportation in a city by myself before. ive never gone to#a thing by myself like this that’s on such a big scale. but im going to do it and im going to live and be happy.#like this is fucking crazy. i didn’t ask for permission before doing it i just did it. oh my goddddd
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My ass was born to be a passenger princess so tell me why I’m paying for gas every single week for my falling apart car. This sucks fuck you car culture, I wish public transportation was better.
#hi btw I’m a public transportation lover and supporter#mostly bc i fucking hate driving#i didn’t even take drivers Ed#i just took the test and got my license when I turned 18#but I’d love it if I could hop on a bus for cheap as shit and they’d take me to work instead#bc fuck my stupid evil car#that’s not nice i love her#but i don’t want to driveeeee#mason posts#mason talks
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had to make multiple responsible adult purchases in a short span of time and can't afford a rock n disc until next pay day, 129 dead 900 injured
#why did the aircon in my car decide to break huh why#and air condition is just not something I'm willing to forgo in this near 100F weather we've been having#a little over 900.. I'm just thinking of all the rock n roll disc I could've bought#I could've used that to buy a concert ticket and an airfare ticket to see Pearl Jam 😭 but noooooo#the 129 was the fix the wheel alignment bc it was pulling to one side and causing one tire to ware a lot faster#and for some reason tires for my specific are stupid expensive.. it's just a stupid fucking Chevy Cruze why so pricey to fix yoooouuuu#moments I wish my city had a functioning public transportation system#bc holy fuck I hate having a car and I hate driving#anyways what I had of savings is obliterated#but hopefully that's the last thing my car will need done to it for a while#if it could just continue functioning until I pay it off next year that would be grrreeaaatttt
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A whole hoard of teenagers just got on the bus in which is definitely their lunch break, and they all piled on in the back. The bus driver reminded them their was no vapimg allowed on the bus, and one of the replied 'okey dokey'
#public transport#they all just filed on in unorganised chaos but all managed to cram themselves in the back together with no drama#one guy got off while they were getting on and another guy switched from his double seat to a single so he wouldnt get sat by one#teenagers get a bad rap and they were definitely skipping but they were all pretty polite they havent been shouting or screaming#theres no tiktok playing they didnt make a fuss about the assumption that theyd be stupid enough to vape on the#bus and even had a dorky lil response that there was no sniggering about from the others like :( how sweet its obvious the rest of the#adults are apprehensive of them but theyre being well behaved and just enjoying the festive season theyve probably got exams#theyve been studying for one of them is one of the kids i used to work with but he quit before starting college
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...
#i have to drive to the big city tomorrow morning... which is...#itll b fine. ive done it multiple times before so itll b fine#but also everytime i have to drive somewhere im a sobbing mess bc its so scary#and i space out which is terrifying so i have to sing and talk to myself the whole time so my brain doesnt drift too far#and i dont kno how long i have to b there or if ill b able to find parking...#i just hate is so much. literally its not a far trip. if we have a fucking working train system there would b a train between our two#universities and it would b like 30min. such fucking bullshit. that would b incredible. i would actually b able to go places#fuck the lack of public train transportation. its stupid.#at least i was busy all day. its crazy how much less terrible my day is when im in a semi empty lab working with algae#hopefully i didnt kill the culture bc i had to transfer immediately after making media. i think it cooled enough but well see#fuck. i dont wanna drive. i should sleep so im not more insane tomorrow#its crazy how distorted i get abt driving. i will convince myself that my car is gonna like fall apart while im driving#and that im absolutely going to have an accident caused by me. so i get up like ok this is where it all ends#in a smear across the highway#oh god i have to get gas tomorrow too#thry recommended i get there at 9 but maybe ill get there 8.30 and just like sit in my car crying for half an hour#lol i turn up to the lab with tear stained cheeks like hey sorry if it seemed like i was resistant to coming down here. im very unwell ✌️#bleh. lets not think abt it. dont think just do. and pray i dont have to fucking go multiple days#my reward for success is no spring break bc a stressful project will begin this weekend#but im not even sure i have spring break bc im a lab tech so i think mayne thats not a loss? idk i dont kno#when im supposed to b working or not. it doesnt matter. my tine sheets r a lie#time sheets :-P#unrelated
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#i just walked under the sun for fifteen minutes to go print the thesis graphics#only to walk another fifteen minutes to go back home and find out i made three incredibly stupid mistakes and I'll have to go back there#I'll go tomorrow when there no public transport strike <3
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#this is just not my week#turns out I’m allergic to my best friend’s laundry detergent#and we washed all of my clothes in it before I left Taiwan#so now I have to rewash them here and hope it’ll fix the problem/stop making me want to rip my own skin off#the pope is coming to Lisbon AND World Youth Day is happening here#so the city is an actual circus#to the extent you can’t use public transport#meaning I have to walk 1 hour each way to the University for my classes#which start tomorrow#(that’s going to be a whole different hell because my reading and writing are higher than my speaking in Portuguese to a stupid degree)#the gym I’m using is a 35 minute walk away because the one that is 6 minutes away was going to charge me €102 for a month#and#like always#jet lag has rendered me basically unable to eat#because I’m just constantly nauseous#experience says I will be probably until next Monday too#yay#not the stones#me stuff
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Since we're currently making shit that's not about Elon Musk about Elon Musk (Glass Onion) may I steer your attention to Rainbow's song Stargazer? It's about a wizard
Where is your star? //Is it far, is it far, is it far?// When do we leave?// Hey, I believe, I believe // In the heat and the rain // With whips and chains
//Just to see him fly //
Too many die //
We build a tower of stone// With our flesh and bone //To see him fly //But we don't know why //Ooh, now where do we go
And then the wizard falls to his fucking death 🥲 we love a happy ending
Except of course people still fucking suffered
We believed, we believed, we believed
In heat and rain // With the whips and chains //To see him fly //So many died //We built a tower of stone// With our flesh and bone //To see him fly
But why
In all the rain
With all the chains
Did so many die
Just to see him fly
#fuck elon musk#did i personally care for twitter? not really#am i aware that his stupid decision negatively impacted millions of people whose livelihood depended on twitter? yes. that.#also his stupid loop bullshit or whatever it was called that was just a smokescreen to keep public transport from getting funds#fucking parasite#flowers talks#flowers talks music#that's a new tag#my metal journey
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started my period that’s so funny i haven’t even been experiencing the symptoms
#other than the homicidal tendencies i guess.#like for example do you know how stupid people have been on the bus lately. it’s not weird to sit next to a stranger. on public#transportation. you are crowding the aisles you are so stupid!!!!!!!!#like when it’s really crowded and we could maybe squeeze more people if others would just SIT or at least we’d have more room#but even yesterday it was litchrally like. so empty it just so happened there was someone sitting at almost every window seat#and this group just stood. and then anyone else who got on stood bc what are they gonna do#you are so fuckimg dumb can’t you think about bus etiquette for two seconds.#abby talks
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