#there is no point to this post other than me announcing i'm having the hots for this dude on my telly

[theflyingfeeling]

...🥴

[rahuratna]

Thirst Trap

Genre: Fluff, humour, crack.

Characters: Nanami, Yuuji, Ino.

Summary: Ino and Yuuji unwittingly make Nanami IG-famous through a social media post. As the internet's thirst ramps up, Nanami remedies the situation by roping in the two young sorcerers once again.

CW: language.

"Now that's what I call ... "

"A good run!"

"Oh, hell yeah. You're not half bad, Itadori! Just stick close to me, and you'll learn plenty more!"

A warehouse stained with the remnants of dispatched cursed spirits, clothes rumpled and stained with the evidence of hard work and a new student brimming with the desire to prove himself. Now this was Ino's definition of a day well spent. The last, and most proudly worn feather in his cap was the fact that their successful team-up had been overseen by none other than Nanami Kento himself, the man who breathed inspiration into all of his endeavours as a sorcerer.

Speaking of which ...

"Hey, Nanami, what did you think of our work today?"

Striding along at a steady pace behind the two youngsters, the tall, ever-composed sorcerer looked up and adjusted his glasses.

"Hmm. You're both well-coordinated, considering that you've never been teamed up before. You've got good instinctual prediction of each other's movements and I'm quite certain that you may come up with even more effective techniques if you work together in the future."

Ino nudged Yuuji and mouthed the words "Here it comes."

"Having said that, Itadori, some points to consider."

The cheerful boy glanced back at Nanami and gulped.

"Err, yes, Nanamin?"

"Your instincts are important, but you can't always rely on them. Instincts are based on your physical senses and your ability to analyse cursed energy. It takes a great deal of focus to maintain a good hold on both these threads. If a curse user is able to fool your senses, then such instincts can be your downfall rather than your strength."

Yuuji mulled those words over, humming to himself. Ino clapped him on the back.

"You listen to Nanami and you won't go wr- "

"Funny you should say that, Ino. Because I'm pretty sure I taught you to practice caution at all times instead of throwing yourself head-first into a situation because your underclassman is watching you."

Ino winced and rubbed the back of his head, laughing sheepishly.

"Okay, okay. I admit it. Got a bit carried away 'cos Itadori was watching me. Won't happen again."

Nanami grunted in reply and the two younger sorcerers glanced at each other and grinned slightly. Yuuji's stomach chose that moment to rumble loudly in protest of its emptiness.

"Whoa, whoa. Can't have that. Hey, Nanami, what do you say we grab something to eat?"

"I suppose that would be acceptable. What do you propose?"

Ino turned excitedly to Yuuji.

"Since you're the newbie here, you get to choose! Only for today, though!"

"Seriously? Cool! I wanna eat ... hot pot on a day like this. That warehouse was kinda chilly."

Nanami nodded before consulting his phone.

"There's a good place not far from here. Let's go."

The place Nanami chose was somewhat off the beaten track. They left the main thoroughfare at some point, wandering through a maze of backstreets, food sizzling on outdoor grills, murky puddles and cosily lit bars. The restaurant they ended up at had no proper signage announcing the name of the establishment or any indication of their menu.

The food was, of course, incredible. Yuuji's eyes positively glowed with excitement as the steaming hot pot was laid out before them, the perfectly prepared ingredients on the side.

"Ooh, this is amazing! Nanamin, how'd you find this place?"

"I often come across good places to eat when I'm on missions in the area."

Ino shook his head fondly.

"Oi, Itadori, Nanami here is a massive foodie, you know that? You name any part of Tokyo and he'll tell you the best places to eat there. He even knows regional specialties in other areas that are pretty out there!"

Yuuji was now regarding his mentor with new reverence. Nanami coughed and re-directed their attention to the food.

"This is going to get cold. Shall we begin?"

"Oh! Hold on. Gotta record some of this."

Ino pulled out his phone, getting a few snaps and videos of the steaming hot pot from various angles. Now accustomed to his junior's need to record everything, Nanami sighed and began to add ingredients to the steaming soup base, softly reprimanding Yuuji who didn't want too many vegetables.

"It's winter and these are good for you. Make sure to eat the cabbage. It has roughage and the shungiku and carrots have a lot of vitamins. They also reduce inflammation of the muscles after a long day."

While the pot bubbled merrily, Nanami prepped their sauces in small porcelain dishes, mixing a little grated radish into the ponzu and adding some green onion to the sesame. He added ingredients to the main pot in a methodical sequence, placing the thicker parts of the vegetables first, followed by the assortment of mushrooms and the tofu.

Lastly, with Yuuji's mouth now practically watering, he handed over the thinly sliced beef for them to take, each dipping their portion for a few seconds until cooked, his deep murmur guiding them on correct timing. Ino had now set his phone aside and was just as hungry, digging in with relish.

When the meal was over, two stuffed and slightly drowsy youngsters followed Nanami out of the restaurant, the warmth of the food in their system buffering against the cold wind that caught at their clothes.

By the time Yuuji had been dropped back at Jujutsu Tech, he was ready to hit the bath and sleep for a solid ten hours. Loping towards the student dorms, he briefly checked his phone, shooting a quick text at Megumi.

Back from my mission. All good.

The reply came within seconds.

Did I ask?

I met Takuma!

Oh. He's cool.

Very cool. We had supper at a hot pot place.

With Nanami?

Yup. Apparently he's big on food.

I'm going to sleep now.

Check this out. Takuma sent it to me. He kinda forgot he was recording after a while.

Attachment: 1.

Shit, you're making me hungry dumbass.

Lol. Looks good, huh?

Yeah, whatever. Post it on your IG or something.

Humming thoughtfully, Yuuji entered his room and began gathering together some of his bath supplies. He paused at the foot of his bed, head bobbing to some unheard lyrics, fingers tapping against the phone screen that lit up his face in the darkened room.

After a few moments, he dropped the phone face down on his bed, exiting the room with a yawn, the basket of toiletries tucked under one arm. He promptly forgot about his casual IG post, right up until the next morning when he roused from sleep, eyes still slightly gummed together, fingers fumbling until they unlocked the screen so he could check the time ... and he shot upright in confused alarm, spying the flood of notifications that had come in overnight.

Now it has to be said, at this point, that being the easy-going, friendly type, Yuuji had made a lot of connections with others over time. Whether during his years at middle school, his sporting club days, or more recently, his time out and about in Tokyo on various missions, he'd managed to accrue a fair following on social media. While many of those who friended him and sent him the occasional inbox wouldn't be considered close to him by any means, his posts were often noticed and popular amongst them. Such was the nature of his personality.

And so, the video of Nanami with the hot pot, normally something that would fly under the radar if posted by anyone else, became an overnight sensation simply because it reached a much wider audience.

And what was the appeal of such a simple video, you may ask?

Imagine, if you will, a short video with simple tags, such as 'shabu shabu heaven', 'sooo good', 'too many veggies' and 'still so yummy, tho'.

Upon idly playing the clip (because it's a cold evening, and you might be craving some shabu shabu yourself) you're met with quite the sight.

First, a pair of hands come into view. Large, elegant digits, broad palms, perfect and neatly trimmed nails. The strong fingers handle the chopsticks with deft precision, stirring the steaming broth in the pot briefly.

Well now. Those hands would definitely be intriguing enough, but the effect is magnified as you witness the camera shift angle a little. The view pans up to the arms and body those hands are attached to, the subtle ripple of muscle in the broad shoulders that taper down to a slim waist, all wrapped in an expensive looking blue shirt, visible over the polished wood of the table. The man's face isn't visible, adding an element of mystery.

He begins adding vegetables to the pot, and now he really has your attention, because he has begun speaking.

And oh my. That voice.

The soft, smoky suggestion of reprimand as he softly lists the benefits of the food, the crisp enunciation of a man well-spoken, the low baritone that flows with marvellous richness across the riverbed of acoustic static from the bubbling of the pot.

You're captivated now, bringing your phone closer to your ear as you strain to hear more of those quiet, compelling, slightly authoritative tones. And then, the crowning moment of glory, the little gesture that takes this video from a solid nine to an eleven out of ten.

He rolls up his sleeves.

Setting down the chopsticks, those exquisite fingers unbutton the cuffs of his shirt with a practiced motion, rolling up the perfectly pressed fabric and folding it neatly just beneath the elbow on each side. The motion reveals perfectly sculpted forearms, the powerful flex of sinew beneath skin, veins tracing beneath the surface under the dusting of golden hair in the lamplight of the restaurant.

He continues his muted litany of instructions to whoever he is talking to, but at this point, the man could be reciting the Encyclopaedia Britannica entry on tortoises, on repeat, and you'd lap it up like the thirsty little tart you are ...

Ahem. Where was I?

Right. The video, which at that moment, was being watched by you (the imagined viewer) and Reiko from the sales department, and Haruka who you had lunch with just the other day, and Sara who loves to look up cooking videos on a Sunday afternoon, and Sukuna, who sometimes watched videos from inside Yuuji's mind with mild interest, and who momentarily thought "What a fine voice for a mortal worm", and ... you get the idea, don't you?

Ino received a panicked call from Yuuji that same morning. He'd been puttering about in his small apartment, popping some slices of bread into the toaster and frying up an egg for a quick breakfast, when the call had come through.

"Uh, Takuma-senpai? Hi, it's me, Itadori."

"Oh, hey! What's up? Did they team us up again? Sheesh. Didn't take 'em long."

"No, it's ... not a mission. It's about that video you sent me yesterday. The one from the restaurant."

"Hmm ... oh that one! Yeah?"

"See ... uhhh ... oh damn. How do I - So, look. I posted it on my IG."

"Oh, okay. And then?"

"So ... it kind of ... became popular?"

"People like hot pot that much?" Ino chuckled. "But I mean, what's the problem?"

"It's not the hot pot, Takuma-senpai! It's Nanamin!"

Having finally come to the crux of the issue, Yuuji's words were leaving him in a veritable torrent.

"They all saw him in the video and I didn't know! How was I to know? I didn't think they'd... and now there're all these ladies and girls and stuff and they're all ... it's a mess! And I don't know what to do and he's gonna kill me and - "

"Whoa, whoa, slow down, man. I can't make sense of what you're saying. One thing at a time."

"They think he's hot! They're all talking about Hot Pot Honey Muffin! That's what they're calling him!"

Ino promptly spat out his coffee in a fine brown mist.

"Hot Pot Honey what now?"

"Honey Muffin! I can't - Dude. Please, you've got to help me. If Nanamin finds out - "

"Okay. Okay. This is fine. This is ... Listen. Let me go check the video and the comments and we'll handle this. It can't be that bad. And even if that's the case, Nanami wouldn't be bothered by it. His face is not even in the video. Nobody can recognise him. He doesn't even go out that much."

"Oh God, I'm just ... okay. Go check it out. I'll send you a link to the post. Let me know."

After Yuuji had rung off, Ino took a breath and shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. It was just a harmless little video! He'd posted some of these before himself, and there'd never been an issue. So how bad could it be?

It was bad.

The comment section was ... interesting to say the least.

Who is that man? Anyone?

I'd let him stir my pot. Just saying.

That voice. Hnmnnghhh. Smack me on the wrist and call me nawty.

Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry -

Sir. One chance. Please sir.

Awjejdbavzbzbahsb pls ur bunny hash been a bad bad gurl

Unf, bouta make that ahegoa face rite now

And, rising above the cloud of steaming, churning, thirsty commentary, that rare peak of social media strata, the dreaded moniker that had found its place from the comment of one of the many new fans that Nanami had found for himself, Hot Pot Honey Muffin.

Ino, in spite of the chill that went up his spine and the momentary panic, knew what had to be done immediately. They had to show Nanami. Keeping something like this a secret would only make things worse with time.

True, Nanami wasn't the kind of man who drew attention to himself, but with the video now as popular as it was, it was entirely possible that someone in a shop, restaurant or one of his other frequent haunts in the local area might just recognise him. He would have to be warned, and even though Yuuji had long since taken the video down, it had been re-posted and there needed to be some kind of technical damage control.

Wracking his brain, Ino hit upon a great idea. Ijichi was known to have connections who could scour the internet for traces of curse activity that might be caught on camera and erase such evidence. Surely something similar could be done about this? If he phrased his request as something urgent, something that could affect Nanami's ability to do his job, then surely they'd take it into account?

With this new burst of inspiration, Ino threw on his jacket and headed out the door to Jujutsu Tech.

"And so ... yeah. That's ... how the matter stands. We're worried about someone recognising you because of how popular this became."

This was worse than he thought. Admitting to a mistake was always difficult when it was Nanami who was hearing you out. Standing in front of him in the staff lounge like two contrite five-year-olds caught with their hands in the cookie jar, Ino battled the instinct to hide behind Yuuji.

He was the older one here, and the one who had recorded the video in the first place. He had to bear the full responsibility for what had happened and be man enough to tell Nanami. How else would he earn his (eventual) respect and admiration?

The sorcerer seated before them heard them out in terrifyingly passive silence before sighing and removing his shades, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Just when I think nothing can surprise me any more ... "

"I'm so sorry, Nanamin!" Yuuji blurted out. "I ... I didn't know ... I mean ... "

"Well, what's done is done. May I see this video, if you please?"

Ino nudged Yuuji  who stepped forward and handed his phone over reluctantly. Their discomfort grew as Nanami watched, a slightly puzzled expression on his face. The video ended and he looked up at them, frowning.

"All right. I can see why you didn't think anything of posting this, Itadori. The video itself is ... ordinary enough. It's simply showing a portion of me and the hot pot. So, why the attention?"

"Uhh ... "

The younger sorcerers glanced at each other. Ino cleared his throat.

"Well ... see, the thing is ... in the video, you kinda come across as ... I dunno ... kinda hot? At least, that's what the viewers seem to think."

"Me?"

Nanami looked incredulous and Yuuji gestured meekly to the phone.

"Just ... read the comments, Nanamin. I took the video down, but people re-posted it, so ... You'll see."

And Nanami began to read. Ino winced as he remembered the top comment, the one that would probably be first on the long list.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Your voice gets me wet Just like shabu shabu

Nanami's eyebrows were rising as steadily as the steam that emanated from the tea pot at his elbow, long forgotten. He eventually handed the phone back to Yuuji, clearing his throat.

"Well."

"Yeah."

"So ... "

"Hmmm."

"Right?"

"Yes."

Yuuji waved his hands desperately.

"But ... we're gonna handle this, right Takuma-senpai?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. I was thinking, you see. Ijichi might be able to use his network to find and remove the content from all media platforms. He's been able to do it before. I can make a request."

Nanami folded his arms and thought for a moment.

"I see. Yes, that would be possible. However, I'm against the idea of using Jujutsu Tech resources and manpower for a request such as this. That same time and processing power could be poured into much more vital concerns. Who knows how many lives could be placed at stake while we use the tools we have for something like this? No. I think another solution must be found."

Ino's shoulders sank under the weight of the knowledge that Nanami was right, as usual. But that left few avenues for removing the video. How else would they prevent this from blowing up further?

"I get it. What you're saying makes sense. What are we gonna do, though?"

"Ah. About that." Nanami lifted a prim finger. "I have an idea."

Yuuji stared at him, dumbfounded.

"You do?"

"Yes. But we will require some help. And some ... expertise on putting together a video."

It was then that Ino felt an even greater chill settle into his very bones as he witnessed something truly rare and unprecedented, something that did not bode well for him and Yuuji at all.

Nanami smiled.

It was Nobara's skill with outfits and make-up, and Inumaki's talent for setting up a scene, that had led to their current predicament. Yuuji's hair had been dyed black, his eyebrows darkened. Nobara's contouring prowess had rendered his face rounder and younger-looking, eyes magnified behind very large, thick lenses. He wore a red t-shirt with a skimpily dressed anime girl printed on it and an oversized purple jacket that disguised his lean, athletic form.

Ino had also undergone a drastic transformation. His dark hair had been shaved at the sides, the top styled into extreme spikes, tinted acid green at the ends. He had been provided with a fake eyebrow piercing and an artfully applied temporary tattoo that curved up the side of his neck, appallingly visible by the standards of society.

They sat at one of the countertops in the student dorms, the background serving as an adequate stand-in for a kitchen in someone's home. Nanami was standing opposite them, wearing his usual blue shirt and tan trousers, his sleeves remaining unfolded this time around.

Inumaki gave one final check to the camera before giving them a thumbs up.

"Salmon roe."

And the recording began.

On the counter, various dishes had been set up, all prepared in advance. They looked delicious, but you wouldn't think so, judging from the expressions of the two young men seated in plain view.

Ino grunted irritably, giving the camera a thousand-yard stare that looked very incongruous on his normally cheery face.

"Do we have to do this shit?"

Yuuji stared gormlessly into space, before laughing obnoxiously and picking his nose.

"Yeah, cos Dad said if we did we could go to that one restaurant where the waitress looked like Hatsune Kiku."

Ino's scowl deepened.

"Tch. Typical. Shit for brains here is on about that dumbass idol again."

"Now, now, boys." Nanami's voice came from across the counter, deep, polished, and a huge contrast to the two choice morsels of hellspawn sitting opposite him.

"Eat your dinner. If you're both good, we'll go to that show next week."

Yuuji's face brightened immediately.

"You mean the one where they dress up in bikinis and wrestle in the mud?"

"No, not that one."

Ino smirked.

"Ha. In your face, rat-breath."

"Be nice to your brother."

"Whatever. What are you feeding us now, old man?"

"I made katsudon. And some vegetables on the side."

"But I wanna eat omurice," Yuuji whined, thumping his fists on the table.

Nanami chuckled. "Ah, you remind me so much of myself at your age, son."

Ino rolled his eyes before tugging a steaming bowl towards himself.

"Seriously? You were this much of a loser?"

"I meant that I liked omurice too."

"Daaaaddd, please can we have omurice."

"Eat what's in front of you. Come on."

Ino stuck his chopsticks into the bowl, churning the beautifully prepared meal into an unappetizing mush.

"Huh. It tastes okay. Now give me a nice hot barbecue and I'd be really stuck in, ya know?"

"Oh, Hatsune Kiku likes barbecue, but she says, in her interview with Doki Doki magazine, Issue five hundred and three, that she can't eat too much of it, 'cos it gives her gas and - "

"Can you shut the hell up about that green haired freak for like, two seconds?"

"Kiku is not a freak!"

"Are you two eating?"

This earned a blessed silence for a few seconds, while the two 'sons' masticated in a manner that was singularly unappealing. When they were done, Nanami produced two bowls of caramel pudding and slid them across the counter, allowing his hands and arms in their blue sleeves to be briefly caught on camera.

"Well, here's dessert."

"Oohhh, pudding." Yuuji grabbed the bowl and moved it around slightly, watching the pudding jiggle. "Hehehehe. It bounces just like Kiku's - "

"Oh, for fuck's sake, you creepy - "

"Language, boys."

"Urgh. I hope I'm getting paid for this. Hanging out with this loser is taking years off my life."

"He's your brother. You two have to look after each other when I'm gone."

"Like fuck I will. He's gonna become a NEET however you see it."

"Then it's up to you to set a good example for him."

"Ha. Me? The second you're in the ground, I'm gonna take the money and buy myself that sweet, sweet little Kawasaki Ninja, then I'm gonna hit the road."

"You'll see things differently with time. Look at me. I was the splitting image of you back then. I settled down nicely."

"Ugh, whatever. I ain't gonna settle down. Now where's my cash?"

"Finish your pudding first, son."

The video, released from a burner account set up by Inumaki, spread as quickly as the first one had. In the days that followed, gossip spread in social media circles about 'Hot Pot Honey Muffin' and his two god-awful sons. The rhetoric around him changed drastically. It turned out that having children, like the boys played so charmingly by Ino and Yuuji, was a huge turn-off to most people.

The two young sorcerers certainly served their time when it came to punishment. It took ages for the tint to grow out of Yuuji's hair and he cringed every time he saw Hatsune Kiku on TV. Ino developed a very strong aversion to bikes for a while and found it hard to stomach pudding. They both decided to deactivate their IG accounts for a while.

Nanami read some of the new video's comments shown to him by Inumaki with some satisfaction.

Can you believe those are his kids?

How the heck is he raising them?

And the younger one. EWWWWWWW.

The older one looks like he microwaves pigeons for fun.

Roses are dead, Violets are a lie, I saw your children, And my pussy is dry.

Nanami adjusted his shades before looking up at Inumaki and nodding gravely.

Success.

[theragethatisdesire]

dall'inizio - eren x reader, 18+!!!!

welcome back to the ti penso universe everyone!!!! this is a continuation/prequel of the little series we've followed from my first eren x reader fic. i was really interested to see how they met and ....unsurprisingly, it's a one night stand that doesn't turn out as planned. this one is also super fun because we get to hear from both eren AND reader alternatively, plus reader is a confident, bad bitch and we love that for her. this one goes out to @philliam-writes bc ik you love this eren as much as i do!!!!!! here's ur part 3 bestie >:)

if you'd like to catch up and meet our eren x reader, find them here:

(1) ti penso ogni giorno

(2) nel bene e nel male

pairing: eren x afab reader

wc: 6.7k

DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.

CWs: smut (duh), consensual hook-up, rough sex, biting, dirty talk, oral sex (fem!receiving), alcohol/drug use (just weed nothing crazy), cussing, penetrative vaginal sex, swearing, use of names (baby), crying, multiple orgasms, eren being a lovestruck idiot (and so are you if you're being honest)

title (as always) means "from the beginning" in italian i'm obsessed with them <3

-

“You look like a whore,” Ymir says bluntly, dragging her eyes over your outfit– or, lack thereof.

“It’s not that bad,” you wave her off, turning back to the mirror to tug at the hem of your little black slip. You do look like a whore, but it’s intentional. You haven’t gotten laid in three months– your friends have been calling you dramatic, but that’s a lot, okay? You’re in college, you’re supposed to sleep around, right?

On top of that, your last few situationships just haven’t quite…well, they weren’t bad, but they didn’t scratch the itch. You desperately need a fuck– not just a fuck, a good fuck, and you have a feeling tonight’s going to be the night. It’s Halloween, the international holiday for running around in basically zero clothes, and you’ve taken great care to adhere to that tradition.

“Are you a mouse?” Historia wrinkles her nose at you from her spot at the vanity in the corner. She’s in a dalmatian costume; cute, spotted ears sticking up from her blonde hair, blue collar tinkling when she cocks her head at you.

“I’m a fucking cat,” you mutter, drawing a black triangle of eyeliner on the tip of your nose, “I didn’t have time for a real costume.”

“She just wants to get laid,” Mikasa announces, pushing through the studio apartment door with a huff, arms laden with plastic bags that are making a tell-tale clinking sound, “it’s been like, two whole weeks.”

“Three months!” You correct her, defensive.

“I understand,” Ymir, appropriately dressed as Cruella de Vil, grins, “it’s been…what, Stor? Two hours?”

“Ymir!” Historia, scandalized, flushes a furious red. Both you and Mikasa are unphased; in the last four months they’ve been together, the three feet they’re sitting from one another now is the farthest apart you’ve seen them.

“I’m not a whore,” you turn around, hands on hips, “I just…it’s been awhile since I had good sex. Floch was–”

“The worst?” Mikasa finishes for you. You hate how well she knows you; even after less than two years of knowing each other, she can practically read your mind.

“Yeah, you may have mentioned that once or twice,” Historia turns back to the mirror, immediately disinterested. “Or a thousand times.”

You throw your hands up, turning back to the mirror to finish your whiskers. “So none of you can blame me.”

“While you two,” Mikasa points between Ymir and Historia accusingly, “have been screwing like rabbits, and you,” her black-painted fingernail finds its way to you, “have been trying to figure out how to sleep with half of Manhattan, I took the liberty of actually making plans for us.”

“Jean’s?” You raise a knowing eyebrow at her, grateful to put someone else in the hot seat for the night. Mikasa’s cheeks tinge pink. Busted.

“He’s throwing a party, yeah,” she answers slowly, trying to talk her way around her obvious attraction to him, “but it’s not those douchebags he usually hangs out with. My best friend from home, Eren, just got into town, and,” she looks at you pointedly, “some of his friends are actually cute.”

You’re unconvinced. “Pictures?”

“You’ll have to wait and see,” Mikasa bites her lip mischievously, “but if you take a few tequila shots with me, I might be persuaded to show you one or two.”

You’re dubious. Mikasa’s definitely shown you a photo of these guys before, and you don’t remember a standout in the lineup. This Eren character, however…Mikasa has a framed picture on her bedside nightstand of them in high school, and you remember him being sort of cute. Dark, short-cropped hair, big green eyes so wide and earnest that he almost reminded you of a movie character. That picture was three or four years old now so…who knows? Maybe he’d grown into his features.

“Eren’s a no-go, though,” Mikasa continues, knowing your exact train of thought of course, pouring out shots of lukewarm, cheap tequila. Your stomach gurgles in protest at the smell as you accept yours. “He’s a nightmare to women, trust me.”

“Who knows,” Ymir pipes up, nodding her head towards you, “she’s a nightmare to men, so.”

“I am not a nightmare,” you narrow your eyes, “I just don’t like to be tied down, that’s all.”

“You’ll have to be at some point,” Historia argues, smiling when Ymir slips a hand into hers. You wrinkle your nose, uninterested.

“It’s 2018, Stor, not very feminist of you,” you tut, throwing back your shot and practically choking it down. Ick.

“I’m a lesbian, how much more feminist can I get?”

“Touché.”

“Just promise me you won’t get wrapped up with him?” Mikasa eyes you, still not trusting the glint of curiosity in your eye.

Ymir crosses her arms over her chest. “Are you positive you like Jean and not this Eren dude?”

Mikasa makes a fake retching sound. “Eren’s practically my brother. I’ve seen his bare ass more times than I can count. Way past the attraction threshold, trust me. I just…I know him. And I know you,” she glares at you, “it’s a toss-up as to who would do more damage to the other.”

“I’ll behave,” you placate her, throwing your arms around her shoulders, “…maybe.”

-

Eren might puke. No, wait, he’s going to puke– oh, no, just an unbelievably loud burp. Eren smiles contentedly, feeling much better even as it stinks up the entire taxi. Connie leans over Armin, scrunches his nose and squints his eyes.

“That fucking reeks, dude!”

“Sorry,” Eren shrugs, turning his head back to the window and ignoring Armin and Connie’s complaints. They were all a few beers deep- what did they expect? 

Eren’s lived a few hours outside of New York City all his life, but he’s never been, except maybe once or twice for field trips as a kid. He never remembered it looking like this, though: each little apartment twinkled like a star, giving the wall of skyscrapers the appearance of the night sky. Even as the cab screeches and jerks in the Lower West Side traffic, Eren feels like he’s in a spaceship, free and flying amongst the stars. 

Maybe he could talk to Zeke, convince him to move their little operation out of their garage and into the city. There was money here, right? And plenty of musicians who weren’t quite good enough to get signed by any major labels…

“Mikasa says she and her friends will be over in five,” Armin squints at his phone screen, holding it far away from him like an old man to type a response. Eren nearly rolls his eyes.

“Would you just get some fucking glasses already?”

“Annie said they made me look nerdy,” Armin shrugs. Connie groans.

“You two broke up like, a year ago–”

“Six months,” Armin corrects him, eyes growing sadder by the second.

“Okay, six months, whatever, we’ve got to get you laid tonight, dude.”

Eren lets the two slip into an argument about the “appropriate amount of time” to wait to sleep with someone after a breakup, much preferring his unusually contemplative mood to Connie and Armin’s bickering after their four-hour train ride together. He smiled to himself; God, it would be good to see Mikasa again. He wouldn’t have admitted it at gunpoint, but she was practically his mom growing up, and she’d been gone for over a year, only visiting for Christmas. Rumor had it that she’d been spending a lot of time with Jean as of late, so he needed to see what that was all about, too.

And who had Eren been spending a lot of time with lately? No one but bar rats and slim pickings from the frat parties at Trost University near his hometown. When was the last time he’d even gotten laid? A month? Two? Her name had been Jenna…no, Jenny? Josephina? Fuck, he should remember that. Eren needs to get laid, regardless, but if he dares to step near any of Mikasa’s friends, she’ll kill him, he knows that from experience. Then again, maybe this weird-ass Jean situation would come in handy. If Mikasa ends up distracted…

“Excuse me!” Armin disturbs his thoughts once again; Eren scowls. “Excuse me, sir? I think we’re here.”

Eren pays for the cab. Armin had bought the train tickets and the chain-gang costumes they were all currently sporting, and Connie was always flat broke, insisting his music career would work out soon. That could be Eren’s fault, though: Connie was one of his and Zeke’s first “clients”. None of them even bothered keeping up with the money exchanged between each other anymore; Connie had been in their kindergarten class, Armin’s mom had changed all of their diapers, Mikasa’s parents were the “cool parents” that let them smoke weed in the backyard, Jean’s mom made the best potato salad. They were a little family, separated by life and college at the moment, but a family all the same. Eren felt a little tingle of appreciation in his stomach as they climbed the stairs to Jean’s walk-up.

“Jaeger!” Jean was dapping him up and smacking a fist against his back before Eren could even properly look around the dark apartment.

“Kirstein,” Eren returns his embrace and has to shout over the music, suddenly smacked with a wave of homesickness at the familiar smell of weed and Jean’s tacky Hugo Boss cologne.

“Make yourself at home, dude,” Jean’s nearly inaudible over the thumping house music. He’s got some stupid mummy costume on that exposes his lean stomach, basically just shirtless and wrapped in toilet paper. Eren stifles a laugh, looking around the apartment for any other familiar faces.

Reiner approaches him next, a goofy, drunken grin splitting his face wide open, tackling Eren in a bear hug. Most of the greetings go like that; I miss you! How are you? How’s the business? Are you still in Shiganshina? It makes Eren’s chest tight, makes him miss the closeness of the people he loves. He was just always fucking working, helping Zeke with paperwork, running around town talking to clients, pulling at his face late at night looking over the finances of everything. He feels wound up, ready to burst, but the blunt and beer Bertholdt just handed him should fix that, at least somewhat. He needs…fuck, he needs to get laid.

His eyes search the room, looking for the one person he’s looking most forward to seeing, but he doesn’t find Mikasa where he expects.

She’s perched on Jean’s lap, giggling over her drink as Jean waves his arms wildly, telling her a story. That bizarre sight only holds Eren’s gaze for a moment, though, because there you are beside her, grinning wickedly with one of those stupid vapes between your teeth.

Eren stops dead in his tracks, speechless. Where do they even make women like that? He goes bottom to top, letting himself be impressed with how well you’re balancing on those high heels, ravishing every naked inch of your exposed legs until he reaches the hem of– fuck, is that just lingerie? Whatever little black thing you’re wearing, it makes his heart race, makes his pants tight. It’s low-cut in the chest enough to tease, a little collar around your neck, and your face…even your face makes him hard, so beautiful in the low lighting, eyes glimmering. You look evil and fun and sexy all at once, and Eren’s sold within the first ten seconds of seeing you.

Before he can make a beeline in your direction, he realizes he’s taken his gaze off of Mikasa and Jean long enough for them to approach him, Mikasa throwing her arms around his neck.

“Eren!” She squeals in his ear, clearly already drunk. Eren chuckles, trying to rein himself in enough to hold a stable conversation. The little black dress flashes behind his eyes as he smiles down at Mikasa.

“Hey Mika,” he ruffles her hair, making Mikasa grumble and reach towards her head to right what he’s ruined. His eyes wander back to you; you’re watching him too, sizing him up. He wonders if you like what you see, pulls at the zipper of his orange jumpsuit to inch it down, reveal some of his stomach. Eren’s not conceited per se, but he spends an unhealthy amount of time in the gym, and he knows it shows. As your gaze travels down to where he holds his zipper, Eren can’t look away, knows it must be obvious that he’s distracted.

“Bro,” Jean snaps his fingers in front of Eren’s eyes, looking over his shoulder to see what Eren’s staring at. He turns back with a smirk. “Yeah?”

Fuck, now Mikasa’s looking off in the same direction, returning her eyes to him with a scowl. Drunk or not, she never fails to scare the shit out of him. “No. No fucking way, Eren.”

“What?” Eren sips his beer innocently, shrugging. He was only staring…for now.

“She’s my best friend, Eren, no,” Mikasa says, firmer this time.

“Thought I was your best friend?”

“Didn’t she just break things off with Floch like…” Jean trails off at the withering glare Mikasa shoots him, turning red.

“She’s off-limits.” Eren nods, her words going in one ear and out the other. Mikasa’s scolded him before, and she won’t stop anytime soon, so what’s one more? She can read his mind, evidently, because she reaches up and pinches his cheek, yanking him down to her level.

“Ow!”

“Off. Fucking. Limits.” Mikasa seethes. “Do you hear me?”

“Yeah, yeah I- fuck, let go! I hear you Mika,” Eren rubs his sore cheek, frowning. He can see you laughing at him, eyes barely visible over the edge of your drink. Great, Eren thinks; getting a talking-to from Mikasa like a child was not the first impression he wanted to give you.

Mikasa’s grabbing Jean’s hand and pulling him back towards the crowd, presumably to play guard dog for you, but before she can get him too far, Jean leans back towards Eren, cups a hand around his mouth.

“She’s single, bro,” Jean manages to get out before Mikasa pulls harder, “go for it!”

Eren grins. If Mikasa wanted to bite his head off for this, now he could blame it on Jean. What the hell was he supposed to say to you, though? You’re leagues above the girls he’s been pursuing. If Eren’s honest with himself, he’s intimidated by you, but his only solution is to throw some more of his beer back for liquid courage. He’s always loved a challenge.

When he pulls the cup away from his face, you’ve appeared in front of him, smiling demurely and nearly making him jump out of his skin.

“Hi.” 

-

The second you saw him, you were hooked. He was gorgeous, dark hair pulled into a little half-bun on the back of his head, pretty eyes, and tall and broad to boot. He was almost stern-looking, dark eyebrows shielding his eyes. Dark and mean, just the way you like them.

Mikasa had given him a massive hug, interrupting the clear eye-fucking you were engaged in across the room; so that was Eren? Her long-lost best friend that was always too busy to visit? The happy kid from the picture? You watched her scold him, giggling to yourself at how childlike he became, crumbling under Mikasa’s pinch and pouting when she let him go.

You had no choice, really. Your promise to Mikasa had flown out of your mind the moment you saw those full lips pursed around the blunt, blowing out a puff of smoke, stretching into a wide, dangerous smile. You’re an only child and admittedly, a bit spoiled, so when you want something, you get it.

“Hi,” you can’t manage anything more clever, not face to face with his bare chest. Jean’s apartment is stuffy, and you catch the gleam of sweat on his chest in the LED lighting. You lick your lips.

“Hi,” Eren responds stiffly, looking as surprised as if you’d just punched him in the gut.

“You’re Eren, right? Mikasa’s friend?”

Eren hits his blunt again, nods slowly. “I don’t think we’ve met though, you’re…?”

You give him your name. He smiles and repeats it, rolling it around on his tongue and getting a taste for it. You can already see little hearts in his eyes, it makes you grin to yourself. You had expected him to put up more of a fight; there’s a dozen girls in this room alone that would fall all over themselves to get him in bed, but he’s enraptured by you, eyes never leaving your face. You’ve got him. 

“A cat, huh?” Eren addresses the costume, dipping his head in the direction of the little black ears on your head. You’re suddenly embarrassed, feeling a bit silly.

“I, uh, didn’t really have time to shop,” you shrug, pulling at the hem of your dress. Eren’s mouth quirks up. “A prisoner?”

“Yeah, I didn’t get to pick. I like yours, though, it fits you.”

You cock an eyebrow at him. “A cat fits me?”

“Yeah,” Eren says, growing surer by the second, “I don’t know. Just fits. S’cute.”

You’re embarrassed by the giddy flutter in your stomach. God, he’s delicious. “You think I’m cute?”

“I think lots of things about you,” Eren replies, voice low and sultry and hardly audible over the music. His eyes widen like he hadn’t exactly meant to say that out loud, but it’s too late now. You grin, all teeth and bad intentions.

“We just met,” you point out. Eren’s confidence has returned, he boldly brings a hand to the spaghetti strap of your dress. His fingers are hot– why do men always run so hot? His touch almost burns.

“You wore this,” he rubs the fabric between his fingers, “and expect me not to have a few thoughts on it? Wasn’t that the point?”

The breath leaves your lungs. Your confidence fizzles at the same rate as your arousal grows. There are plenty of hot guys here, but you might have jumped into the deep end with this one. Something flickers in his eyes, something hungry.

“Why don’t you tell me about these thoughts of yours?”

“I will,” Eren nods, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth, “later.”

“Later?”

“We’re at a party,” Eren takes the empty cup from you, replacing it with his own, much larger hand, “shouldn’t we at least dance a little?”

Before you can argue, he’s pulling you out into the center of Jean’s obnoxiously spacious living room, into a jungle of sweaty, gyrating bodies. You’re close enough to the speakers now that the bass pounds through your body to the same rhythm as your heart thudding in your chest. The crowded, makeshift dance floor pushes you into Eren, skin against skin. You have a fleeting moment to be grateful that you’re likely now obscured from Mikasa’s view before a pair of strong hands around your hips prevent any more conscious thoughts from taking shape in your brain.

“One of my thoughts,” Eren’s right beside your ear now, voice echoing in your brain, “is that I like you. Like this body.”

“T-thank you,” you stammer out, wanting to facepalm at not only your stupidly simple response, but the weakness in your voice.

“Move it for me.”

You obey him, letting your body move with the music, trying not to get too caught up in whether or not you look ridiculous with how you’re pressing your body into his, arms thrown around his neck. Eren seems to like the way you move on him, pushing and pulling your hips in the rhythm you’ve set, looking down his nose at you with bloodshot eyes.

Your panties are growing wetter by the second; he’s intoxicating, the feel of him against you, firm and tacky with sweat. His hands are tracing up your sides, dragging slowly as if he’s memorizing the curves of your body. You haven’t known him long enough to want him the way that you do, humiliated by the carnal desire simmering in the pit of your stomach, but you’ve had enough tequila not to care. The whole thing is too similar to what you really want, and you make it through a solid seven or eight songs before you can’t take the stifling tension between the two of you any longer, thick enough to cut with a knife.

You lean up on the tips of your toes, wobbling in your heels, and grab him tight around the neck, pulling him to you. Your lips finally meet; Eren’s slow to respond as you’ve caught him off guard, but he catches on quickly, lips falling open so you can kiss him deeper. His lips are softer than you expect, supple and giving as they move with yours. You trace your tongue through his teeth, hardly suppressing a whine. He tastes good, like cheap beer and weed and lust. You drink him in, a satisfied hum buzzing in your chest.

Without warning, Eren practically rips you off of him. “Not here.”

He’s dragging you through the people around you, knocking them out of the way and not stopping to apologize when he gets offended looks. He pulls you into what you know to be Jean’s room, wastes no time in shoving you up against the door and blocking you in with his wide shoulders.

You swallow hard; you’ve underestimated him.

“Another one of my thoughts,” Eren mouths at the area beneath your ear, makes you groan, “is that you’re pretty. Like, very fucking pretty. Bet you’re twice as pretty under this dress.”

“I think you’re pretty, too,” you manage to say, forcing the words from your mouth. Eren chuckles, smiling against the shell of your ear.

“C’mere,” he tilts your chin up, kissing you again. It’s troublingly gentle, long and languid as your mouths move against one another. He kisses you like he loves you; the thought makes alarm bells ring in your head, and you nip at his bottom lip to break up the emotional momentum, sink your teeth into it. Eren pulls back, chuckling down at you. “You’re mean.”

“Only a little.”

“Is that what you like?” Eren thumbs at your mouth, slipping his finger between your lips. You suck greedily, rubbing your tongue against the roughness of his fingertip. “Like it a little mean? Between you and me, I like ‘em a little mean, too.”

You nod, gently biting on his thumb. Eren groans, a low rumble deep in his chest. “Oh, I’m going to have fun with you.”

He’s pulling your dress over your head before you can stop him, sucking in a sharp breath when he gets an eyeful of your lace-clad breasts, the tiny thong you’ve slipped over your hips. Stronger than you’d expected, Eren pulls you up to wrap your legs around his waist, slamming your back against the door with a loud thud and knocking your stupid cat ears to the floor. You can hear a few sounds of surprise from outside; surely that got a few people’s attention, but you’re lost in him, whimpering at the feel of his jumpsuit costume rubbing against your clothed center.

Eren’s sloppy, placing open-mouthed kisses down your neck, pausing to suck a bruise underneath your ear. You gasp, canting your hips into his stomach, desperate for friction. You’re normally not so uninhibited, but Eren’s doing something to your head, has your mind spinning. He’s carrying you over to the bed, dropping you down onto Jean’s sheets. Eren leans down to pull your heels off, a sweet gesture if you could find the presence of mind to acknowledge it. You feel a flicker of guilt about doing this in Jean’s bed, but when Eren starts sliding a hand up your thigh, it flickers away into nothing, swallowed by your bottomless want. 

“Look at that,” Eren smirks, rubbing his fingers over your panties, “soaked. This all for me?”

“Mhm,” you whine, hips jerking up towards his touch. It is for him, it was from the moment you laid eyes on him, and you both know it. His hands are everywhere: unclasping your bra, pulling your panties down, palming at your tits. You arch your back up to him, offering him your chest; he responds by closing down on one of your nipples with his teeth.

“So pretty,” Eren’s murmuring around the mouthful of your flesh he’s got, twisting the neglected nipple of your right breast between his fingers, “so pretty.”

“Eren,” you sigh, running your fingers through his hair, pulling it out of its bun and wrapping the hair band around your wrist. His mouth is hot, scalding, even, but you pull him closer to you anyway, pressing his face into your tits. Eren doesn’t seem to mind, letting you move him this way and that, show him what you like and how to pull those pretty moans out of your mouth. Before long, he’s kissing his way down your stomach, hands gripping your hips like a lifeline.

“Want a taste,” Eren sounds more like he’s talking to himself than to you, “need to taste this pussy.”

“Eren,” you reach for his hair, trying to pull him back up to you. While you’d love to see what the mouth that had just kissed you breathless could do between your legs, the thumping music outside is an annoying but consistent reminder that there’s an entire party outside and you’re in Jean’s bedroom. The clock’s ticking. “Want to feel you, we don’t have time for–”

“Don’t have time?” Something wicked lights Eren’s face up as he shimmies your panties down your legs. “Believe me, it won’t take long.”

“Eren,” your protest is feeble but earnest, and you make another attempt to reach for him when a long, thick lick up your center renders you near-unconscious. You moan, a little louder than you would have liked to.

“See? Gonna make you feel so good, trust me,” Eren’s punctuating each word with a little kiss somewhere on your pussy: your clit, your lips, right over your fluttering entrance. You have no choice but to whimper and nod, canting your hips up towards him. You look down, immediately regretting it: Eren’s wiggled out of his costume, naked and beautiful and staring up at you from between your legs. You’re hardly able to swallow the inhuman sound that threatens to rip from your throat.

Where he’d been cool and calculated pulling you onto the dance floor, you quickly learn that Eren eats pussy like he can’t control himself, like his life depends on it. His massive hands wrap around the tops of your thighs, securing you against his face as you try to squirm away. He licks into you enthusiastically, moaning against you at the taste, sending a succession of vibrations through you that go straight to the fire in your stomach.

When his lips close around your clit and suck hard, you have to slap a hand over your mouth to stop a wail from reaching the ears right outside the door. Eren takes the opportunity to sneak a finger into you, curl it right against that gummy spot in your walls that has you seeing stars. As he works his finger in your cunt, he kisses his way back up to your mouth, greeting you with a sloppy kiss.

“Feels good, right?” Eren’s face is literally dripping with you, a sharp-toothed grin barely visible in the dim light.

“Feels good,” you whimper, daring to look down to where he’s grinding his palm against your clit. You can see the veins of his muscular arm straining as he pumps in and out of you; it’s a lewd sight, one that makes your head spin. “‘S so much Eren, I— fuck.”

“Yeah?” Eren’s smile grows darker, another finger slips into you easily. You’re practically dripping onto the sheets at this point, rolling your hips against his hand with your mouth hanging open. It’s humiliating but too gratifying to stop. “Gonna cum for me? You can do it, give it to me.”

“God– close, so c-close,” you can barely find the words to respond, the pressure in your belly swelling at an alarming speed. You’re going to squirt, you know you are, should move off of Jean’s bed or warn Eren or do something, but it’s too late.

You thrash in Eren’s grip, cumming so hard you think you can taste blood where you bite your lip. You can feel the wetness spraying from you, soaking Eren’s hand and the sheets and your inner thighs, can distantly hear your pitiful cries, but you’re powerless to do anything about it until the mind-numbing orgasm’s run its course. Eventually you do settle, babbling incoherently into Eren’s shoulder about Jean’s ruined sheets, about how you’re sorry for making a mess. Eren shuts you up with his mouth on yours; you can hear the distant rip of a condom wrapper.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he laughs, rolling on top of you and lining himself up, “gonna have to keep you.”

Before you can even think to offer to return the favor or make a sarcastic remark about how you’d never let anyone keep you, Eren’s pressing into you, and your mind short-circuits. Shit, maybe you’d let him keep you.

You hadn’t gotten a good look at him in the darkness, but he’s big, bigger than you’ve ever had before, and big enough that you realize this when he’s not even halfway in.

“Eren…it’s so– s’big,” you hiccup into his shoulder, fingernails clawing into his biceps.

“Is it too much, baby?” You hate pet names, hate them, but from the greek god splitting you open right now, you love it, want to lick the word right out of his mouth and taste it on your own tongue. The genuine concern glittering in his eyes, the little furrow between his brows as he pauses, frowns down at you, fuck, you might be in love.

“No, not too much– feels good.”

Eren’s grin is feral. “Yeah? Tell me.”

“Feels so fucking good,” a little giggle sneaks out from your clenched jaw, Eren smiles wider and cups your face to kiss you again, far too gently to match the way he’s stretching you, bullying your cunt into the shape of him.

“Feel full?”

“Mhm,” he’s bottomed out now, impossibly deep, and you give him a little roll of your hips to show him just how okay you are, that you’re ready to see what he can really do.

“You’ve got–” Eren rolls his hips experimentally, punches a moan from your chest– “the best fucking pussy. So tight for me.”

Ordinarily, dirty talk makes you cringe, but something about the way he words things, as raw as if his inner monologue is spilling out of him, turns you on, makes your cunt clench down around him. That makes him happy, he sucks in a breath of air and starts pounding into you hard enough to make tears well in your eyes, hard enough to make you squeal in a way no one else ever has.

“Taking me so fucking well, baby,” Eren’s hands are grabbing your face, his lips pressing into your forehead, “never gonna let this pussy go.”

You grant him a long moan of agreement, so cockdrunk that for now, you’re more than happy to sign your freedom away to stay in this bed, pinned underneath him for all of eternity. He’s fucking into you so deep he’s practically in your throat; your breath comes out in short little huffs, choking on the brutal pace of his fucking. And god, he’s so big, but you’re taking him somehow, like you were made for it.

Eren moves one of his hands away from his face to swat your fingers away from where you’re digging into his arms, surely close to drawing blood.

“Fucking hurts,” he hisses, “just as mean as you are pretty, y’know that?”

He easily manhandles your arms above your head, pinning them above you by your wrists. The way he stretches his body to do so changes the angle he’s fucking into you at; now he’s hammering into the spot inside of you he’d found far too quickly with his fingers. Your eyes shoot open at the change, and Eren doesn’t miss it. He smirks.

“Right there?”

“God, yes, please– right there,” you sound pathetic, the few surviving rational brain cells you possess are laughing at you, but there’s no help for it. He’s already got you spiraling towards cumming again, the wetness from your cunt creating a sucking sound where he’s moving in and out of you.

“Fuck, m’close. Think you can cum again for me?”

“Yes,” you breathe, tilting your head up to nip at his neck, a tear or two running down into your hairline. You can do anything he asks, you think, anything in the world just for him, for how he’s making you feel. Eren practically growls, pistoning his hips faster.

“Need you to cum for me, okay beautiful? Cum right now.”

“S-so close– I– Eren, oh my god,” you’re babbling, eyes rolling back into your head. Eren smashes his lips to yours, grinding his hips into your clit and shoving you over the edge for the second time that night. You sob and convulse around him, back arching desperately and pressing your chests together. You’re seeing stars as he fucks you through it, grunting in your ear and growing sloppy as you tighten around him.

“Fuck!” Eren bites into your shoulder, hard enough to bruise, stilling his hips as deep inside you as he can manage. Your fucked-out brain wants the condom off, wants to feel the full warmth of him as he cums inside of you, grinding his hips against yours. Before he’s finished, Eren moves back to your mouth, kissing you deep and slow, a kiss that means a whole lot more than what you’ve just done together as a party rages just past the door.

As you’re panting beneath him, trying to ground yourself and come back to reality, Eren rolls off of you, whips the condom off, and to your surprise, takes you into his arms, pulls your head to his chest.

“You okay?”

You’re so blissed out right now that it’s a laughable question, and you giggle, watery and light into his chest. “More than okay.”

Eren laughs at that, a real laugh from deep in his stomach. The sound of it makes something warm and happy spark in your chest. “That good, huh?”

“You’re alright.” You’re trying to keep your eyes open, more than aware that your teeny tiny thong is on the floor and you’re naked in the arms of a stranger in Jean’s fucking bed, but Eren’s so warm, so comfortable, your eyes are fluttering despite your protests. 

“Oh?” Eren’s voice raises in pitch, gets breathy. “Yes, Eren! Right there, Eren! I’m cumming, Eren!”

“Oh my god, shut up!” You smack at his chest, cheeks burning, but you make no move to roll away from him, preferring your snug little hovel against him to the loud, smoky party that awaits you should you leave.

“S’okay,” Eren presses a kiss to your hairline, “I like that you’re loud.”

“Not loud,” you grouch, resolving to let yourself enjoy just a few minutes of keeping your eyes closed before you return to the party. The last thing you remember is Eren humming, tracing circles into your shoulders with his fingers. You think you recognize the tune; it’s a love song.

–

“Jaeger!”

“Oh my god, oh my fucking god, is that Jean? What time is it? Eren!”

Eren’s first peaceful sleep in months is disturbed rather rudely, in his opinion; he shields his eyes from the brightness of the overhead light, peering through his fingers to see you, hair a rat’s nest and smudged makeup in rings around your eyes. He scowls at the warm, empty spot next to him in the bed that you’ve already leapt out of, frantic with energy even through your hangover. You’re alternating between running around the room naked, trying to find your dress, and shaking him urgently. He bites back a grin; so you are real, and just as hot as he remembered.

“Chill the fuck out, Jean!” Eren shouts, using far more energy than he can afford to expend if he’s leaving the bed anytime soon. The alarm clock on the nightstand reads 7:01am. Shit. “We’ll be out in a second!”

“Get your ass out here, Eren!” Shit. Mikasa’s here too? Oh, he’s dead the second he leaves this room. All the better to stay put, then.

“Get up,” you hiss at him, looking every bit of a pissed-off racoon as you scrounge around on the floor.

“Need my hair tie back if you want me to get up.”

“Ugh, here,” you fling it at him, hitting him squarely in the forehead. Eren chuckles, pulling his hair off of his neck and into its usual bun. He feels empty, feels alone, realizes that he wants your touch, the same body-to-body contact that he’d enjoyed last night.. 

“They’re fine,” Eren grumbles, hoping you can’t see the amusement written on his face, “we’ve got a few more minutes.”

He reaches sleepily for you, pulling you back into the bed with him amidst your whispered protests, pulling your lips back to his where they belong. He kisses you slowly, indulgently, convincingly. Your skin against his does wonders for the soul-crushing anxiety he’s been putting up with over the last few months. You’re like a drug to him; just one hit and he feels worlds better, feels like he can actually get through everything weighing on him for now. Jesus, even your morning breath doesn’t turn him off; his cock twitches in interest beneath the covers. Cute when you’re angry, he thinks to himself. He has a feeling you’d smack him if he said it out loud.

“We can’t,” you breathe into his mouth, pushing weakly at his chest. Eren loves the feel of your palms on his chest, necessarily resistant in the name of a one–night stand, but lacking the force to prove your point. You want him too, he realizes. The thought goes straight to his dick, and he takes a deep breath to keep his composure, to stop himself from jumping all over you with Mikasa and Jean right outside. He’s rather impressed with his efforts, rubbing small circles on your lower back instead of grabbing a handful of your ass and pulling you into his lap like he wants to.

“We can,” Eren murmurs back, already ten times happier than he was a moment ago, “just want to kiss you, that’s all.”

That makes you pull back, fix him with a stern look. “I don’t want to come off as a bitch, but I don’t really do the morning-after thing. Don’t you live, like, five hours from the city anyway?”

Eren’s not the brightest when he’s tired, and he’s even stupider around beautiful women. He cocks his head at you, smiling. “Mikasa didn’t tell you? I’m moving to the city in a few weeks.”

You eye him suspiciously. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Eren’s bullshitting, bullshitting very badly and he knows it, “just have to get some things worked out with my brother and our business. Get the operation moved here, that’s all.”

He knows your type: flighty, heavily anti-commitment, and meaner than a snake when you’re cornered. But Eren hopes, he hopes stupidly and against all reason because even if it was just a night, he meant what he said in the throes of passion. You’re funny, you’re interesting, you’re sexy, and he doesn’t want to let you go. He wants to fuck you stupid, just like he did last night, for the rest of his life.

He can’t say any of this out loud, of course, but what if he’s not bullshitting? What if he can convince Zeke to move their amateur record label into the city, where they can pick up real artists, and he can fuck you stupid whenever he feels like it? Maybe he can even learn how you like your coffee, what your bra size is, where the junk drawer in your apartment lives. Eren doesn’t know you, he knows that, but he inexplicably wants those things, wants the mundane parts of you for himself.

“Get the fuck out here, Jaeger, that’s my fucking bed!” Fists pound against the door, threatening to barge into your little sanctuary. Mikasa’s calling your name from outside too, voice harsh and angry. Eren waits for you to scold him, waits for you to shove him off of you and tell him to fuck off.

To his surprise, you make no move to get up and offer him a sheepish grin, shrugging shyly as if you’re not fully naked in his arms. “I guess I’ll see you around, then.”

Eren’s heart swells. “I’m not chancing that. Give me your number.”“You can earn my number if you buy me breakfast,” you scoff, “and help me find my dress before Mikasa kills us both.”

[thisismeracing]

MICK SCHUMACHER MASTERLIST

✦ MICK SCHUMACHER ▶ MS47

All my Mick posts here

▸ main masterlist | patreon guide ▸ taglist ▸ who I write for & guidelines ▸ subscribe to Patreon for exclusive content ▸ tip me on ko-fi

KEYS: s: smut f: fluff a: angst ✷: Patreon exclusive

― ✦ SERIES

king of my heart: Mick Schumacher rode a lousy wave for quite some time, so when the sky gets cleaner and the sun brighter he just knows something terrible may be in store for him. Whereas y/n was just so magnetic, and the possibilities of life with her seemed better than anything his mind could ever create, that’s why, for the first time in forever, he threw caution carelessly through the window, hoping to get to the finish line before it catches up on him.

― ✦ SOCIAL MEDIA AU

I don't wanna be your ex (f): Y/n and Mick used to be the golden couple in the paddock, that’s why the internet went wild when they announced their breakup. Imagine how they reacted when Y/n dropped a song about not wanting to be his ex. Would the couple have any hope of getting back together?

sunshine (f): In which Mick starts dating an earthy/spiritual girl who just loves nature and good energy.

it was always you (f): Mick and Yn decided to stay friends after breaking off their two years relationship, but it seems like things weren’t that broken. Maybe having the same friend circle and seeing each other all the time meant that things were never really over.

angels like you (a): They say misery loves company, maybe that’s why Yn accidentally made Mick miserable too.

super shy (f): The one where your boyfriend is your biggest fan to the point of turning his account into a fan account or something of the sort. Or, Mick and Yn’s relationship through the years

go shawty (f): Every year Yn gets Mick a unique birthday cake. This year she’s ready to surprise the internet and her boyfriend again.

― ✦ BLURBS

I regret meeting you (a)

Say it again (f)

Friends don't (f)

I think I'm in love (f)

Speak now (a)

Light's on (f)

Suck it (s)

All mine (s)

Morning light (f)

Schatzi (f)

Beautiful things (f)

― ✦ REGULAR IMAGINES

our baby Angie (f): What happens when Mick refers to you as Angie's mom?

rosy cheeks, salty hair, warm bodies (s): After finally matching their schedules and booking a trip together, Yn and Mick decide to go to Mallorca for a well-deserved break. The fact that they went weeks without seeing one another and the tension around the hot weather and beach garments only helped build the momentum in which her boyfriend would absolutely ruin her in bed.

cherry (s): Mick has an idea while lying in bed during a lazy weekend, and Yn is more than ready to oblige.

suit testing (s): Yn decides to tease Mick until he gives up and takes her against the bathroom door while still wearing his racing suit.

an avid learner (s): Mick has been nothing but an attentive lover since they started dating, what Yn didn’t know was that he would be even more attentive in bed. It’s their first time having sex, and Mick is an eager learner, he’s set to make sure Yn forgets she ever dated someone before him.

banana pancakes (f): Mick is used to racing cars and living at high speed, but lazy rainy mornings with you are his favorite. Cuddling in bed, making banana pancakes, and listening to the rain fall down while swinging together on the front porch, no travel or circuit beats these moments.

love sips (s): Some bad moments leave the feeling that your whole day was destroyed. Sometimes, all you need to navigate life’s ups and downs is someone to remember you that bad events don’t equal a bad day, Yn decides on a very peculiar approach to remind herself that, and Mick, her boyfriend, is happy to help. 

god is a woman (s): Making out in bed never felt this deep and heart-stopping, but dating Mick and having him love you is a full experience of being a goddess. Your hips were his altar, and he would swear to everyone that God is a woman because you’re it to him.

call me obsessed (s): Everyone talks about how good it is to date someone who’s exactly like you, but Mick has been finding it hard to believe, especially when his girlfriend has the same sunshine energy as him. The problem? Too many friendly flirts around her. And though he’s not a jealous guy, he finds himself ready to praise her and prove to her that he’s the only one. You can say he’s obsessed.

twisted love (a): The rule is clear for all celestial beings: to love the Almighty beyond everything. They can’t share the feeling. It is perpetually prohibited for angels to get fond of humans, especially the protector angels. They are the ones who will follow their human on earth and protect each one. Those Angels and the humans are the same pairing throughout time. Mick watched Yn die and come to life in different forms each period, and he fell - in love, and from Heaven. Years after searching for Yn, he found her again and he’s ready to get what’s his.

I'll always take care of you (f): The flu caught you out of the blue and completely unprepared, good thing you have your boyfriend around to take care of you.

to build a home (f)✷: Mick and Yn are used to sharing everything, and always spending time with each other. However, they didn’t notice that things got easier because they ended up pilling some things in one house. His place is theirs now, but the same happened with her place. It only takes their respective siblings one look to figure out the whole situation. Will it scare them, or will they finally move in together?

die from a broken heart (a/f): After a fight with Mick, your secret boyfriend, you find yourself crying in your father’s arms, and it won’t take much for Toto to connect the dots. The thing is: what is going to happen when he finally does?

screw him (s)✷: When you move to a different neighborhood and discover your hot neighbor is a mechanic, half of your problems evolving your old car are solved. Your issues with your current boyfriend aren’t though. You too need a fix, and Mick may be the perfect guy for it.

― ✦ CONCEPTS

college!mick (masterlist)

― ✦ HEADCANONS

♡ how mick is as a boyfriend ● part 02 ♡ aftercare with mick ♡ how mick is as a husband ♡ mick as a dad ♡ baby making season ♡ size kink ♡ breeding kink ♡ mick dating a black girl ♡ fighting with mick ♡ choking kink ♡ NSFW alphabet ♡ mick dating a girl with anxiety ♡ mick dating a K-pop idol ♡ mick dating raikkönen!reader 𓂃☁︎ ✈︎𓂃 Around the world

♡ mick dating a desi girl ♡ mick dating a korean girl ♡ mick dating a latina ♡ mick dating a greek girl ♡ mick dating a lao girl

©thisismeracing do not copy, steal, or translate my work. do not repost on a different media platform.

[major-comet]

The Music in RvB: Restoration Kinda Sucks. Here's how I'd fix it.

I gave this as a presentation the other night after my first re-watch of the finale, and it was a major hit so I thought I would share it with other people who think too hard about Halo fanfiction.

Red VS Blue has some truly fantastic music in it's 21 year history, and I think that the music here was pretty weak. Obviously this post has major spoilers for RvB19 / Restoration, so be warned.

So, under the Read More is a typed up and fleshed out version of my powerpoint presentation where I will dive in and not just bitch about the musical choices, but explain how I would fix things. This is...really long, but I hope you all enjoy my thoughts :)

This will be best enjoyed if you listen to the songs I'm talking about as a refresher. For your convenience, I have input links to the songs on Youtube when necessary

So what's the problem?

Since the development of the finale overlapped with Rooster Teeth getting shut down, it's very likely that they had minimal funds. (EDIT: Yes, the finale itself was done by the time the announcement rolled around. However, the decision was almost certainly already in the works at WB. RT was shut down in part for financial reasons. It’s all connected.) I personally think this was part of why Burnie/RT was/were [reportedly] so insistent on using stock music for part of the season rather than a whole soundtrack done by Trocadero - I'm not sure they had the money to properly compensate for a full soundtrack. And maybe it was just a stupid / dick move, and had nothing to do with money at all, but that's what I choose to believe if only because it makes me feel slightly better about it.

This means that besides the stock music, the new score by Carl Thiel, the Zero song for that cameo, and Waning Moon (the Barenaked Ladies song), all we have are four re-used songs from earlier RvB - these songs being the Trocadero Grifball theme, I Say Ooh and Round One by Jeff Williams, and Vale Deah by Trocadero. There's also a David Levy composition in there somewhere according to the credits, R U Ready, but I have no idea what it is or where it plays. It's bothering the hell out of me because it does not appear to be a reused piece as far as I can tell - at least not reused from RvB. If anyone has any leads on this please reach out, because it seems crazy that there's one random possibly original David composition mixed in there. I've checked Apple Music and Soundcloud, nothing by that name.

In this very Meta focused film, neither of The Meta's themes play in any shape or form - [When] Your Middle Name is Danger by Trocadero or Plagam Extremam Infligere by Jeff Williams.

Nor do any of the character themes, really. Most of the series' iconic recurring tracks are completely absent. Tex's various themes, Carolina's theme - hell not even Blood Gulch Blues or the iconic intro music.

Were there any highlights?

Of course there were!

Considering I was going into the finale having only been spoiled on Vale Deah, I was pleasantly surprised to hear the Jeff tracks! That was totally unexpected, and really lovely.

Speaking of, I thought the use of Vale Deah was a really lovely touch. Fun fact: that song was used for the end credits of the Season 1 DVD, so it really felt like a sweet full circle moment.

I think that using a Barenaked Ladies song for that very sweet scene of Caboose, Grif, and Simmons reminiscing about Blood Gulch by the fire was a very lovely choice, and quite honestly it was my favorite scene in the whole thing. The BNL have been close to RvB and RT since damn near the beginning, and it was very nice to hear them attached to the finale in that small way.

I should also point out that the composer for the season is Carl Thiel - known for his work on Hot Fuzz and the second and third Spy Kids movies. I think he did a totally fine job. I liked the bugles that were under Sarge's death, but the rest doesn't really stand out much. Perfectly serviceable.

So, now that that's out of the way, let's break down those four returning songs a bit more - shall we?

Grifball Official Theme - Trocadero

This was a really funny choice. It's such a quick bit, but I respect Burnie's dedication to get in one last Grifball joke. Obviously, I would have preferred to hear a different song for something else, but this was totally harmless.

Vale Deah - Trocadero

Lo-fi Hip-hop beats to get divorced to.

God that scene was heartbreaking. I love this song a lot - I think a lot of Trocadero's strongest stuff is the stuff that just feels kind of melancholy. It's something Nico does really well, and I think Vale Deah is one of my favorite examples of that. Like I said above, I think this song was used really well - if I had to pick a different track for that same scene I would probably choose Half Life. While it was written during the Blood Gulch era, it wasn't really used in the show until Seasons 12 and 13 - notably, a version of it plays under Kimball's rally speech to the troops after Doyle's death. I just really like it, tbh. There's absolutely other songs that could work, but I think having it be a BGC-era track served the scene really well.

I Say Ooh - Jeff Williams

My feelings about this are pretty similar to Grifball. It was cute, it was nice to hear, but I wish they had used a different Jeff track somewhere else. Ultimately, it's pretty harmless. It is kind of an odd choice though - I'm pretty sure Jeff didn't write it for RvB. This was a song that he composed that was used in two RT Shorts (live action sketches that RT used to do). I think it would have been nicer to use one of his RvB tracks for the introduction of Niner - could have been a cute spot to use a track like I Am The Best or Forge World or hell, Come on Carolina would have been cute.

Round One - Jeff Williams

...Actually, I have a lot to say about Round One, so let's get everything else out of the way first.

Other Scenes that *should* have had returning tracks before I talk about Round One for a billion years

Sarge's death should have been scored with a version of Rally (Sarge's Speech). My vision is a version of it that's just the string section - familiar, but not enough to be distracting, and absolutely soul crushing if you do recognize it.

The scene with Wash and Dr. Grey in the hospital needed a hint of what Nico so lovingly calls the "Wash Trauma Theme" - which is closely related to the Trocadero Meta theme, fun fact. I think Limited Duty from the scene in Season 16 where Carolina tells Wash about the brain damage could have worked pretty well there.

The scene at the end with Wash and Carolina talking about Doc and the Freelancers really needed something. I think one of the variations of the Shisno trilogy Carwash theme could have worked very well.

Obviously the big scene with Tucker and Sigma on the ship would have really benefited from [When] Your Middle Name is Danger or one of the many themes that incorporates it, but I'd also throw Soul Clef XI into the ring! I think it's so interesting that the work around they came up with for not being able to get Elijah Wood back was to have epsilon!Sigma take on a more Felix-y type of voice. Partly because Felix was an incredibly ambitious villain so he fits it pretty well, but more importantly that was a very smart voice to pick to fuck with Tucker in particular! I think that was really smart, and I think having some version of Felix's theme playing during that scene would have been really cool.

Bolt by Trocadero was never used in the series proper. However it was used in this ten year retrospective that they released alongside Season 10. I highly recommend giving it a watch, because watching it now that it's Over - RvB, RT, all of it - it's honestly kind of heart breaking. They're all filled with this deep optimism about the future of the company, and hindsight is a bitch on this one. They use it in a really sweet sequence at the end where they're showing a bunch of old photos. Anyways I think this should have played in the credits after Vale Deah finished. "We only want to have a good time."

Miscellaneous Trocadero Songs I would have liked to see them find a place for that I haven't already / will not mention elsewhere

Steady Ride (Gunmetal Green) - this is THE Grimmons song ever to me. I love it so much. Also fun fact: as of the interview Burnie did with Nico on the season 10 (I think?) dvd/bluray, this was Burnie's favorite Trocadero track. And you can tell when you watch the DVD cuts of the first 6-ish seasons - it plays all the time.

I like Good Fight a lot, not sure there was a great spot for it? but still would have been nice - It's used a few times as a Wash theme, I believe.

No One is my favorite Trocadero song and I wish it could've been there Somewhere. It was the elevator-music type song that played behind Vic in BG once or twice, I think was in the season 4 credits, and also played during the weapons demonstrations in the Meta VS Carolina Death Battle. I just like it a lot, lol.

Okay let's get back to Round One.

Why they shouldn't have used Round One for the big fight in RvB Restoration

AKA: The actual bulk of the presentation

Okay so we've got some pros and cons to this track. Starting with the Pros;

It's a song from an iconic scene - the 3v1 training room fight from Season 9

Tex and Maine are both in the fight

Was a great "Oh FUCK yeah" moment for the fans

Great track

Cons;

Not really a song for Carolina or the Meta (or y'know. Tucker. He's there too), and only kind of a song for Tex

Honestly the fight makes me think about York more than anyone else, since that's the fight where he gets hurt

Not a cool thematic moment besides just Tex being a badass

Started too late into the fight - it's sad that Carolina got a cool track when she (finally!) showed up, but Tex just got generic music. Show my girl some respect :(

So what would be better?

It has to be something that makes you think of at least one of the fighters. A track that's good for multiple would be better, but not required.

I think it should start when Tex first shows up, not when her armor changes. that’s a cool moment, but it still means most of the fight is working with Thiel’s score.

It should be something with a note of thematic relevance - for example, the big moment right at the end of the fight is Tex reminding epsilon!Sigma that she's not based on the Director's memories of her failure this time; she's based on the memories of Grif, Caboose, and Simmons. And she Always kicked their asses.

Still needs to be a big "Oh FUCK yeah" moment.

While incorporating Carolina's theme would be nice, I think it's more important to get at least one of the others - but we'll do our best here. I think this is moreso a Tex v meta!Tucker fight in my heart than it is a Carolina fight.

So let's look over a few options, shall we? These are in no particular order.

Spiral - Jeff Williams

This is the song that plays during the Season 9 car chase when Maine gets shot. It incorporates Carolina's theme, because in PFL her theme is never too far behind whenever a Maine/Meta song is playing, which has always been interesting to me. It has all that freaky choral stuff that Jeff loved to use, and generally is just a great track.

Fragments - Jeff Williams

This plays during the Freelancer break-in in Season 10, and it just rocks so hard. Anything from the break-in would be cool because that was the last time Tex, Carolina, and Maine/The Meta were all in the same place, and of course was when The Meta was properly created. I think it was so sad that they used the instrumental of Round One, because the vocals are part of what makes the Jeff era of RvB soundtracks so iconic, and god this song delivers! Also this song has a kickass trumpet solo at the end.

Slingshot (from the Death Battle) - Trocadero

Man this song rules. This of course plays in the Meta VS Carolina Death Battle from Season 14. It's a very different energy from the Jeff picks, but it rocks so fucking much. This is a fight between Carolina and The Meta, and would of course be a callback to a (marginally) more recent - and extremely popular - episode of the show. If you haven't watched the Death Battle in a while you really should, it still kicks just as much ass now as it did back when I was in high school.

Literally any other song from the 3v1 Training Room Fight - Jeff Williams

This includes;

Round One (feat Lamar Hall)

Just the Bullfight part

On Your Knees

I just think the instrumental to Round One is the weakest choice from this fight tbh! Bullfight is my favorite out of the three, because it sounds the most Tex-y. The guitars are very her, and it incorporates part of her Agent Tex motif. And On Your Knees would have had the biggest "Oh FUCK yeah" factor. But honestly even just using the version of Round One with the vocals would have been way better.

EDIT TO ADD: a quick note - while it’s listed in the credits as Round One/Bullfight, that’s just how the instrumental is packaged on the OST. As far as I could tell in my two watches of it, they never actually make it to the Bullfight part of the track.

A Girl Named Tex - Trocadero

hold on, walk with me on this one.

I had a vision of Tex fighting meta!Tucker set to the "Yellow rose of Texas clad in black, lonely star tattooed upon her back. Double Tex she'll hit you like a truck. Double Tex and she'll mess you up." bit right after I watched 19 the first time and it's been haunting me ever since. (That bit starts at about 02:19)

This is her theme for the first chunk of the show - which just so happens to be the time period Grif, Simmons, and Caboose were primarily reminiscing about. It would have been cool as hell, and I can See the beginning of the fight in my head - the opening strums (what my brother so lovingly calls the Out of Mind music) when caboose is saying his line about how he brought back someone even worse than church, and then the fight starts! I can see it in my mind, it would have been so cool!

I just think there should have been more Blood Gulch era music in here.

100 Tex Battle - Jeff Williams

This doesn't get you any Meta points, but obviously it incorporates little bits of Tex's, and a lot of Carolina's theme. Twisting a Tex vs Carolina fight - obviously, Carolina vs all the Tex bots in Season 10 - into one where they're fighting alongside each other would have been really lovely and a cool full circle moment.

This song is really cool, it's such a good fight. I do think it maybe sounds a bit goofy at points for this fight, but still a cool option.

Okay so now let's go over my top three-ish picks

Ice Fight (or maybe the revelations suite?) - Jeff Williams

Jumping to the end of Season 8, we have a fight that involves Tex vs The Meta! And Wash, Doc, and all the Reds and Blues (barring Donut and Lopez. Hmm. Doesn't that sound familiar.) are there! Ice Fight rules so hard, it's so good.

And it has some of that narrative theming I was looking for! While yes, Tex does technically lose this fight - so does The Meta. And how does she lose it?

By going into the recovery unit.

The main reason I suggest the Suite instead of just Ice Fight is because I think having a touch of Red Vs Blue would have been really nice.

Mental Meta Metal - Jeff Williams

Genuinely my favorite track from season 10. If you let the song play the whole way through, it has Jeff's themes for The Meta, Carolina, and Tex in it. This plays the first time we see Maine in a fight in Season 10, and is also Sigma's first time in the field after we see him pondering Meta-stability in the classroom.

It incorporates elements from both Spiral and Plagam Extremam Infligere, which is kind of Jeff's theme for the Meta that he established back in Season 8. It also plays during the Freelancer Break-in when he's tossing Carolina off the cliff. The Latin on that translates to “to inflict an extreme blow”.

It also has a very strong statement of Carolina's theme, which could have been a great opportunity to bring her in with her theme!

Now, before I go over my final pick, let's go over what we need again;

We need a song with thematic relevance to the fight, that’s from an iconic scene, has a good energy to it, and would give fans a big “OH FUCK YEAH” moment.

Well, isn’t it obvious?

Agent Tex (/ Tex vs Tank / Hell's Angel) - Jeff Williams

The first instance of Jeff Williams’ Tex motif, later used in Hell’s Angel and Tex vs Tank, etc. I would add the opening strum commonly heard in the later iterations, but keep it generally the Agent Tex version which was used in the S8 Warehouse fight, as seen above.

This is like. The RvB scene ever. So many people saw this before they watched the show, and many more never even watched RvB - just this fight, since RT uploaded it separately from the episode because they knew it kicked so much ass. It also helped draw in folks who may have been fans of Monty Oum's other work. Fun fact: This was RT’s outro music for a really long time, too. So it really has history with the company.

Part of why I think this pick would work so well, beyond it just being Tex's theme for the Jeff Williams era, is that it would be so interesting in terms of narrative theming. The Season 8 warehouse fight was Tucker, Grif, Simmons, Sarge, and Caboose against Tex.

This whole sequence was Grif, Simmons, Caboose, Carolina, and Tex against Tucker.

This was one of the other scenes being reminisced about around the fire - you can see it as one of the clips shown during the scene. I think it would have been a really powerful moment, and a fantastic "FUCK YEAH" moment for everyone whose stuck around this long. This track is so good, and I really do think it would have been the perfect choice for this fight.

It's not even my favorite, if I was just choosing favorites I'd have picked Mental Meta Metal or A Girl Named Tex.

What have we learned? Why Were We Here?

Red vs Blue is a show with a lot of really fantastic music in it's book, and a really strong history of musical callbacks - particularly with the Meta's theme and how it's so closely tied to the motif Trocadero liked to use as "Wash Trauma" music. Making a clever callback to a song you've used before can help strengthen the thing you're trying to get across to your audience. I think it's somehing that Restoration really struggles with, which is pretty sad. But I hope you found my deep dive / analysis of what could have been interesting.

I'd really like to dive in and do a long reflection about the series as a whole, but as it stands this is around 3,000 words and if I get started on that, this post will never end. I'll probably work on that once i've actually Finished this rewatch.

Thank you for reading all of that!

[sorrinslays]

Hot take or whatever but HSR would benefit a lot from announcing more 4*s instead of 5*s. I'm not joking, at this point, we have more 5*s than 4*s. 27/49 characters are 5*s, and we'll be getting 4 more in the next few updates, so that means that 58% of the characters are five stars.

There are characters that don't even need to be 5*s. Some examples are Silver Wolf, Clara, Gepard, Sparkle, Luocha, Bailu, Yanqing, Huohuo, Fu Xuan, Yunli and Jiaoqiu (last two are upcoming characters). And I'm not saying that because I don't like them or their gameplay or something. I'm saying that because they weren't present in the story almost at all. Sure, they are interesting but it doesn't change their inactivity in the story. What's the point of making an almost painfully irrelevant character a 5*?

I could make a post just about why certain characters don't work for me as 5* and how they could've worked better as 4*s lore-wise. Instead, it's better if we look at the 4*/5* ratio of each path.

While most of them are balanced (as of writing this post), looking at the upcoming characters tell us that it's not gonna be like that for long.

Right now, the Destruction has a 50/50 ratio (if you don't count the protagonist). However, in 2.3 and 2.4 we'll be getting two new 5* units (Firefly and Yunli). So that changes the percentage to 60% (again, not including the Trailblazer).

The Hunt is probably is probably one of the worst in this regard alongside the Preservation. 71% of the units are 5*s, with only two 4*s. And it's not even characters that people use all that much (Dan Heng and Sushang)!

The Erudition is fine, it's a 50/50 as of right now too. Next update Jade is going to be added but it's whatever, not all that bad.

Same goes for the Harmony too, it's a 50/50. There aren't any 5*s promised anytime soon but I wouldn't be surprised to see Sunday being announced as Harmony or something.

Nihility is almost similar, there are nine characters and 4 of them are 4*s, so 55% of the characters are 5*s. Soon it's gonna be 60% with Jiaoqiu coming in 2.4.

The Preservation has only one 4* unit for Qlipoth's sake! 85% of the units are 5*s and I bet you the only reason March is a preservation unit is because they couldn't think of anyone else to be the 4* preservation character and since March will definitely be getting a 5* version they just plopped her in preservation (Arlan would've fitted better but I digress).

Once again, the Abudance is balanced, with three 4*s and three 5*s with no upcoming healers any time soon.

So, then, if most of the paths are somewhat balanced. if not for the few exceptions, what's the big deal, right?

Well, this is more of my own opinion but. I think 5*s should feel more special. The ratio of 5*s/4*s should be in favor for the 4*s as a way of saying "yeah, there's a reason this character is a 5* compared to others!" instead of pumping out 5* characters every update for people to spend more money with the only selling point being "they are better than the standard 5*s/the previous unit and they are attractive".

[1moreff-creator]

Danganronpa One Shot: Pre-Release Analysis

Let's gooo!

In case you're not aware, for the last sixteen days, there's been a countdown of sorts going on in venus-is-thinking's account, and I've been excitedly following it along! The big reveal happened today: a fangan called Danganronpa: One Shot, hosted in the account av-multifangan!

For now, we have little more than a title, an announcement post, an FAQ and an About Page. Which I hope don't have secrets in source code or anything because I don't know how to chekc that :p

But is that going to stop me from talking about it? Hell no! I'm going to follow this from the start, and that includes early theories based on literally two pictures and a countdown. Mainly character talents and the such. Let's get into it!

What we Have

As stated earlier, literally two images and a countdown.

So... yeah not a lot. However, I feel like the poster with the wheel could give us an idea of tone, at least. Seems on the more lighthearted side from first impression, even if a killing game will inevitably have some pretty sad moments to go along with it. At least that's the impression I get, could be wrong! There's a big theme of games of chance with all the imagery of wheels, money, poker chips... as well as weapons like guns, knives and nooses, as expected of a killing game. Particularly, we see American-looking $100 bills, which combined with the names of the characters, could suggest an American setting. But hey, it's a prediction post; if I get things wrong, I get things wrong!

The comment on the names is a nice segue for the reveal that the tags of the announcement post include the names of the characters!

Now, venus specifically claims the names are secret, but I actually have a guess of what each name refers to. I could be completely off, but I think the names might be listed in Countdown Order. So Sixteen is Vanessa Bravo, Fifteen is Jeff Breeze, etc. It fits decently well, makes some sense, and I have exactly two evidence points for it, which could very well be coincidences. So again, I might be completely wrong on this :v

There's also a surprising amount of last names which... are just words? "Love," "Breeze," "Bravo," "Hall," "Long," "Walker," "Young." Hell, "Rey" and "Torres" are words in Spanish ("king" and "towers" respectively). I assume it means nothing, but I do find it amusing.

But there's one name that's interesting to me above all others. "Mark Dros." Because it just so happens that "dros" is the acronym of Danganronpa: One Shot. Now, this could just be a coincidence, or even a very meta hint of a fake name/mastermind/something like that, but if it's not a coincidence, what I find likeliest is that Mark's last name is not revealed at the start of the series. Be it because Mark doesn't remember it, or because Mark's hiding it, or something else; if Mark's name is not initially revealed, then venus and accirax would be forced to tag Mark alongside the acronym of the fangan to differentiate this Mark from the countless other Marks out there.

Am I cooking? Am I burning down the kitchen? Who knows.

Anyways, let's actually get to so-called "character analysis." I'll refer to them by their number in the countdown (I'm not confident in the name guesses as you can see :p), which can be tied to the cards by color, and from the cards to the wheel via face recognition. It's going to be extremely embarrassing if I somehow get the wrong wheel sprite from the card drawing, so let's hope that doesn't happen!

I'll mostly go in Countdown Order for organization, though... it'd feel wrong not to start at the beginning, no?

Seven - Ace of Hearts [The Protagonist]

Pronouns: Any

Color: Hot Pink*

Countdown Symbol: Penny

Card Frame Symbol: Pennies

Wheel Color: N/A

More-or-less Confirmed Name: Ellis Ortiz

*(Note: These colors are taken from the ALT text of the countdown pictures. None of them use "plum" so they're acceptable in my eyes /ref :))

Those deep in the DROS lore (so, me and maybe two or three other people so far :p) know that Seven's countdown post was the only one accirax reblogged apart from 16 and 1, saying she did it for "no reason in particular." This is one of the things that made me think Seven could be the protagonist, which I was seemingly right about, but I could have never expected her to actually be played by accirax! This sort of roleplay format is really interesting, and I'm very curious to see how it plays out!

Well, I should point out that Seven isn't technically confirmed as the protagonist, but he may as well be. That means they're the only one with a confirmed name, as both the About post and the FAQ state accirax played Ellis. Ortiz comes from the tag. This is evidence point Nº1 for the names being in Countdown Order, as Ellis is listed seventh to last.

Apart from that, my previous guess of Seven being the Ultimate Lucky Student (based on the coins and the number seven being considered lucky) seems to hold up pretty well. The theme of chance and luck has only been made more prevalent with the announcement post, though it's to the point I almost wonder if Seven might be the Ultimate Game Show Contestant or something to that effect instead. However, since the About page claims some knowledge from THH is required, it's not unreasonable to assume this is a Hope's Peak class and thus needs a Lucky Student.

Plus, Ellis being Lucky would continue the age old tradition of Lucky Student protagonists: your Makoto Naegis (THH), your Yuki Maedas (DR Another), your Teruko Tawakis (DR Despair Time), etc. What this luck looks like is impossible to know so far, but since Seven seems like a relatively confident person at first glance, my best assumption is that he's aware of his good luck and uses it for their benefit. That's probably the guess I'm least confident about btw.

Seven's also connected to the Ace of Hearts, and looking at their glasses, yeah that makes sense :v The card is connected to new beginnings and love, which seems pretty in line for a protag.

Anyways, as a final note, I really love Seven's design and Vibe. Really fun looking protag, and since she's played by accirax, I would be foolish to expect anything but peak from them :D

Then again, the rest of the characters were written by venus, so I would be foolish to anything but peak from them either ;)

Alright, now we can start with-

Mascot

Pronouns: He/him

Color: N/A

Countdown Symbol: N/A

Card Frame Symbol: N/A

Wheel Color: Pink

Suspected Name: N/A (but probs Mono-something :p)

Right, this guy. Not included in the countdown, this little cameo in the announcement post is the only reference we have of this thing's existence. That means I genuinely have no guesses on what's going on with him.

I can't even know what I'm looking at, necessarily. It looks like a gem, maybe? I'm very curious to see this guy's full design, because I feel there's a lot being lost in translation to the wheel sprite :v

Alright, now we can start with Countdown Order. Jeez.

Sixteen - Queen of Clubs

Pronouns: She/her

Color: Lime Green

Countdown Symbol: Headphones

Card Frame Symbol: Headphones

Wheel Color: Pink

Suspected Name: Vanessa Bravo

Although headphones by themselves are a bit too vague for me to have made a guess from them alone back during countdown ages, the addition of a microphone in her card makes it seem that Sixteen is the Ultimate Singer! Or something to that effect, obviously exact wording is impossible for me to guess. In any case, I’m sure watching her perform would get anyone to say “bravo!”

… I’m very unfunny.

On top of that, while card symbolism is always pretty hard to pin down due to the large variety of possible interpretations, the queen of clubs' association with confidence and self-love seem in line with Sixteen's seemingly animated stage presence... I say, having exactly one picture of her. As always in these fangans, the persona of any performer will always come into question, so whether or not she's really as confident as she seems is yet to be seen. First impressions can be wrong, after all!

Anyways, I really like her design, her little hair accessory is everything :D

Fifteen - Jack of Hearts

Pronouns: He/they

Color: Teal

Countdown Symbol: Umbrella

Card Frame Symbol: Umbrellas

Wheel Color: Red

Suspected Name: Jeff Breeze

A cool looking guy to be sure, I... have no clue what Fifteen's talent may be. The towel they're holding makes me think the umbrellas are actually parasols, so maybe something like Ultimate Resort/Hotel Manager, Ultimate Tour Guide, Ultimate Vacationer, something to that effect?

Regardless, Fifteen looks like a relatively chill guy, which certainly fits the Jack of Hearts' connections to youthful love, passion, honesty and adventure. Seems like the sort of guy you'd really love to "shoot the breeze" with, huh?

... I gotta stop. These names are all gonna be wrong and this is gonna go from unfunny to straight up silly-

Fourteen - Queen of Spades

Pronouns: She/her

Color: Red

Countdown Symbol: Spade

Card Frame Symbol: Clubs, hearts, diamonds, spades

Wheel Color: Red

Suspected Name: Antonia Cisneros

Oh... oh she looks cool... and vaguely evil... Chat I fear I might have found a future favorite. Her smug little smile and and appealing design have enraptured me lol.

I particularly love the fact all four suits of the French deck are represented in her design; the club and spade accessories in her hair and belt (maybe?) respectively, the heart shaped dress, and the (I think) diamond earrings, she slays so much I worry she might "slay" a bit too literally if you catch my drift.

That aside, it seems my original guess of Ultimate Gambler or Poker Player or something to that effect remains solid, what with all the card imagery in her accessories and the cards she's holding. Especially notable given the series itself has quite a large theming around games of chance. Hell, all the characters are represented by cards in the French deck in the Header picture.

That could certainly imply a larger degree of importance for Fourteen than other characters. I expect her to be a common mastermind guess, but I personally think it'd be cool if she was the main killing game "antagonist," a la Byakuya. Of course, she doesn't have to be, but she's currently my best guess of who the "antag" might be, if there even is one at all.

This is especially so since the Queen of Spades can be associated with intelligence and logical judgement, which makes it seem like we might have a bit of a girlboss in our hands. As much as I'm excited to see all the characters, Fourteen is one that particularly intrigues me. Can't wait to meet her!

Thirteen - Queen of Hearts

Pronouns: She/her

Color: Gold

Countdown Symbol: Teacup

Card Frame Symbol: Laurel leaves, crown?, undetermined

Wheel Color: Pink

Suspected Name: Paris Hall

Speaking of girlbosses, Thirteen seems to be actively telling me to "spill the tea, sis" in her card, which is awesome. She looks like she'll be fun.

I originally didn't have much of a guess of what talent she might have, though Ultimate Tea Maker or something to that effect might still be the best guess. However, the combination of her color being gold, the crown-looking thing at the top right of her card, and the Laurus Nobilis leaves at the top make me consider she might be royalty? Ultimate Queen/Princess? Not impossible for sure. Though it would be pretty funny to call a monarch after the capital city of one of the most notoriously anti-monarchy countries in history, assuming I got the name right of course.

(...Should I mention that Cisneros, which could be Fourteen's last name, is the name of a historically important viceroy? Does this imply a thematic connection to Thirteen? I almost wanna look a bit deeper into it, but that's speculation on top of theories on top of speculation on top of theories, so I'll hold off for now)

In any case, I'm sure she'll be quite fun. The Queen of Hearts is associated with compassion and emotional intelligence, so I'm sure she'll be a good person to have around during the killing game! ... Provided we ignore the associations 13 has with bad luck :v

Twelve - King of Spades

Pronouns: He/any

Color: Dark Red

Countdown Symbol: X

Card Frame Symbol: X

Wheel Color: Red

Suspected Name: Aidan Ho

I didn't know what the X could represent on Countdown Day Twelve, and that hasn't changed just because we've added more Xs to the situation :v

Indeed, Twelve is one of the people for whom I have no guess of a talent. He's so weird that I don't even know what's happening with his hoodie??? Is Twelve wearing a half-blue, half-red thing??? What is this.

To be fair, though, the duality might be the point. The 12 in the countdown image was also split down the middle, although what this duality theming could imply is beyond me for now.

Very emo looking, though, I'm sure it'll be fun to see what his Deal is. The King of Spades holds similar meanings to the Queen of Spades, so I could see Twelve and Fourteen being a pair of sorts. Also potentially not, you know how this works.

Very mysterious dude... I'm excited to see where Twelve goes!

Eleven - Jack of Spades

Pronouns: They/them

Color: Orange

Countdown Symbol: Theater Masks

Card Frame Symbol: Theater Masks

Wheel Color: Orange

Suspected Name: Taylor Long

Really love the design of this Ultimate Actor (or something else theater-related)! They look pretty befuddled by that book, I wonder what they're reading?

I found conflicting reports on what the Jack of Spades symbolizes, but it's something along the lines of cleverness and hard work. Possibly a smart individual, then, and the fact they seem to be studying something in a killing game seems to corroborate the "hard working" thing. I'm interested in seeing them in action! It won't be "long" until we get to see how well that applies-

I gotta... I gotta stop.

Ten - King of Hearts

Pronouns: He/him (I really hope I'm not wrongly assigning the wheel things lol :v)

Color: Pink

Countdown Symbol: Rose

Card Frame Symbol: Roses

Wheel Color: Blue

Suspected Name: Davis Love

Ah, the classic trope of the "sopping wet cat guy," I suspect this one will be a big hit in the Tumblr crowd! Definitely connected to romantic love in some capacity, not just because I'm suspecting his last name is "Love," but more so because of the "they love me-they love me not" game he's playing in the Header image and the roses he's always accompanied by. Not to mention the King of Heart's connections to love and empathy and deep emotions.

Can't exactly tell what the pin he's wearing is, but it might be a rose too. Very Crystal Gem coded, this guy.

I wonder if "Ultimate Romantic" could be a valid talent, because that's the vibe he's giving me. Hey, I've seen weirder! If not, then I don't have many guesses of what he could be :p

Nine - Ace of Spades

Pronouns: They/them

Color: Purple

Countdown Symbol: Question mark

Card Frame Symbol: Question marks

Wheel Color: Orange

Suspected Name: Mark [Dros]

Ah, the classic Ultimate ???, huh? Well, maybe not, but that's my best guess for Nine! The mirror they're holding up could be a representation of them trying to remember their own identity, their talent... and possibly, their last name.

Indeed, the fact that "Mark Dros" happens to fall on Nine is my second evidence point for the name order I'm using. It's a theory built on top of a theory built on top of a guess, but it's what I have for now :v

In any case, I'm sure I'll love them. I'm always a sucker for mystery characters, be it in the form of weirdos like Okazaki Hanano (Tetro DR Pink), cryptids like Mai Akasaki (DR Despair Time), or as seems to be the case here, amnesiacs like Izanami Hoshimiya (DR (He)artless Deceit). And the mystery with this guy is exacerbated by the fact that the Ace of Spades has the most conflicting interpretations we've seen so far. It can represent power, authority, success, and good luck... or bad luck, defeat, and death. Quite literally impossible to tell what's going on, which is only fitting. Very intrigued by this one...

Eight - Queen of Diamonds

Pronouns: She/they

Color: Bright Blue

Countdown Symbol: Scalpel + Wizardry 8 reference

Card Frame Symbol: Scalpel

Wheel Color: Red

Suspected Name: Vivi Mitchell

Ah, my archnemesis.

The backstory here is that Eight's countdown image released after I had spent the entire day, from eight in the morning to five in the afternoon, in uni, and my brain was a bit fried from several hours of class and three hours of lab work. That's my excuse for fucking up not once, but twice with that image. Not only did I first think their symbol was a paintbrush (despite having checked ALT text for every day prior), I then proceeded to confuse the word "scalpel" for "chisel" and therefore assumed Eight would be a sculptor. You're allowed to laugh at me.

Anyways, third time's the charm, Eight is likely the Ultimate Surgeon/Doctor or something to that effect, and will most likely be our designated autopsy performer for at least the first few trials. They seem to be pretty upbeat from the one (1) image we have of them, so I'm sure they'll be fun to have around. The Queen of Diamonds seems to mostly represent wealth and power, which means... I don't know. Eight makes good money? :v

Also, still no idea what Wizardry 8 is, if anyone has any guesses on why that reference exists, please tell me pretty please?

Six - Ace of Diamonds

Pronouns: Any

Color: Brown

Countdown Symbol: Illuminati Symbol

Card Frame Symbol: Illuminati Symbols, but radiant

Wheel Color: Blue

Suspected Name: Kennedy Rey

It looks like Scott Smajor got a little too obsessed with Bill Cipher and turned into a Drew Flamboni kinnie. I wonder how many references it takes for no one but me to understand a sentence :v

In case the illuminati symbol wasn't enough, the red string she's holding, associated with insane cork boards filled with random connections, fully cements Six in my mind as the Ultimate Conspiracy Theorist, or something to that effect. Not sure what the rectangle in their shirt is meant to be, but I guess that'll have to wait for the actual release.

The Ace of Diamonds generally represents wealth and success, which makes me wonder how it could connect to Six. I guess... he might just be rich. Final note, while I'm still uncertain if I got the names right or not, if I am right, venus would be kinda crazy for calling the conspiracy theorist Kennedy, knowing the conspiracy theories surrounding JFK xD It would be iconic of her I think.

Five - Jack of Clubs

Pronouns: He/him

Color: Light Blue

Countdown Symbol: Page

Card Frame Symbol: None

Wheel Color: Orange

Suspected Name: Robert Smith

Now this one's interesting. While Five's countdown symbol of a page with a bent top right corner is etched into his design, being the pin he wears, he's the only character not to have any symbols on the frame of his card. I already had no good guesses for his talent before, just kinda throwing in Ultimate Writer or Ultimate Coder or equivalents as provisional guesses, but now they seem even less likely. Because the lack of symbols on the frame of his card could actually mean the page represents something different.

I think it's possible Five is meant to be a "blank slate," which could mean he has no talent at all. Of course, there's also the possibility that his average-ness is actually his talent, something like Ultimate Blank Slate or Ultimate Regular Person or Ultimate Guy. I'm probably way off, but who knows!

The Jack of Clubs has a few different meanings, but they're generally positive. Creativity, intelligence and sincerity seem to be the main themes. So I'm sure Five will be Perfectly Normal and have Nothing Wrong with him :)

Really curious to see this one!

Four - Jack of Diamonds

Pronouns: They/them

Color: Dark Green

Countdown Symbol: Gear

Card Frame Symbol: Gears

Wheel Color: Blue

Suspected Name: Grace Thomas

Another design I love at first sight, I really dig Four's vibe. They seem pretty straightforward so far; an Ultimate Mechanic or something to that effect (I am overusing that phrase so much), they give me the impression that they'll be a voice of reason within the killing game. The Jack of Diamonds seems to reference a "messenger" who helps people achieve financial goals, which extrapolated to the killing game, could imply Four will be some kind of important support. Probably will be helpful in trials, they seem smart. Entirely possible I might be off, but that kinda fits the vibe I'm getting from them.

Let's just hope the associations the number four has with death and misfortune aren't relevant...

Three - Ace of Clubs

Pronouns: She/they

Color: Light Gray

Countdown Symbol: Fountain Pen

Card Frame Symbol: Fountain Pen

Wheel Color: Blue

Suspected Name: Cass Torres

Another one that looks like they know what they're doing, Three seems to be some kind of Ultimate Writer or something to that- you know what the phrase is. The Ace of Clubs is connected to creativity, prosperity and good fortune, which certainly fits an Ultimate Writer. Bit ironic I don't have much else to write about Three, but what we have of her seems pretty straightforward so far. We'll see how much of that is wrong later!

Two - King of Clubs

Pronouns: He/him

Color: Orange**

Countdown Symbol: Omega (uppercase), 2 stylized as Lambda (uppercase)

Card Frame Symbol: Omega, Lambda, Phi, Psi, Theta, Sigma; all uppercase

Wheel Color: Pink

Suspected Name: Noah Walker

**(Yes, the ALT text for Two and Eleven describe their colors the exact same way. That's kinda funny)

If I had no idea what the hell the Greek letters were about in the countdown image, I have even less of an idea of what they mean here. Is Two the Ultimate Hellenic Scholar? As in, a scholar focused on studying Greece? Certainly kinda gives frat bro vibes. Surely, if he was the Ultimate Linguist or something, there'd be more than Greek letters, right? Why is he so confusing?

Anyways, he seems like a pretty positive person, but who knows. The King of Clubs represents leadership, intelligence and authority. I mean... sure? Maybe that applies to him? Yeah I have no idea. Two's a bit of an enigma for me :v We'll have to wait and see!

One - King of Diamonds

Pronouns: Ve/ver

Color: Dark Blue

Countdown Symbol: Heart in Hands

Card Frame Symbol: Heart in Hands, hearts, people holding hands, peace symbol

Wheel Color: Orange

Suspected Name: Harper Young

While I originally thought One might join ver apparent distant cousin Whit Young (DR Despair Time) as an Ultimate Matchmaker, the inclusion of the peace symbol in the card frame and One giving out sweets (kinda funny, given ver countdown image came out in Halloween) makes me think it's something more along the lines of... Ultimate Pacifist? Ultimate Activist? Ultimate Make-Other-People-Feel-Good-Person? Some vague title that refers to helping others with love and peace in ver heart, be it through volunteer work, activism, whatever. I'm thinking something along the lines of Tsuno Manami's Ultimate Superhero (Tetro DR Pink), if you catch my drift.

In any case, what I'm certain of is that One seems to be a very sweet and kind person! Even if the King of Diamonds, representing mostly material wealth and authority, seems like a weird fit for ver (btw if I use these pronouns wrong please tell me. I looked them up but I'm still not entirely confident I'm using them right :v). However, the King of Diamonds can also represent ethical success and bring positive energy to a reading (?), so it might not be completely off from what the rest of the information we have of One.

Finally, there's one variable I've been listing for these characters which I haven't really addressed yet, and that's the wheel color. Here are the full groups for each color:

N/A: Seven

Pink: Mascot, Sixteen, Thirteen, Two

Red: Fifteen, Fourteen, Twelve, Eight

Orange: Eleven, Nine, Five, One

Blue: Ten, Six, Four, Three

What could this mean? Well, uh... anything. Friend groups, shared themes, simple coincidence... I have no way of knowing what the connections could be, or if they're even relevant at all. I'm just noting them down for future reference :)

Anyways, that's all folks! Geez, how the hell did I write so much about a fangan that has practically no content so far? No wonder my other posts reach such ridiculous word lengths.

Hope you enjoyed! If you made it this far, you deserve a little treat! You can ask One, heard ve's passing them out. See you later!

[inchidentally]

for any new followers, bl 'wank adjacent' to not see me respond to tricky asks <3 I always keep them beneath a cut but yk <3

straight up anon I was wondering why the gossip pages suddenly had this insaaaaane influx of Rebecca hate anons when she hasn't done anything of gossipy note with Carlos for a while and then I'm like ahhhh yes either Carlos or Lando decided to pull the carland0 hashtag out. this year's been esp egreeeegious:

_Carlos needs an image boost while he looks for the best seat

_Lando's dad wants in on the ship name hashtag to promote his scooters

_Carlos complains that Netflix has always given him unfavorable treatment so he gets Caco to liaise with them at races, he looks for the Netflix boom to create 'moments' with Lando/McLaren and Kym confirms they prepped Netflix thinking he'd podium at Barca and get to announce his new seat

_Lando needs image rehab and wants ppl off the topic of him and Max fighting

_Carlos is rumored to have lost potential seats due to delaying and might end up having none at all and needs to boost a reminder of the popularity he brings as a driver

and like I always say, yes there is a genuine if not quite the way they portray it friendship between Lando and Carlos! it's the same as Lando has with other drivers but rpf girlies just don't find them as yaoi or they aren't as hot for those guys. and I enjoy all their interaction in the not-insane privacy of my own head where rpf and reality have nice solid lines alsfsljafg. but it also reminds me how much I love that Lando and Oscar never went for any of this PR bullshit and have actually wanted to develop a genuine relationship without fan/McLaren/Netflix/TV network involvement. at no point does Lando turn to gimmicks with Oscar when he needs a PR boost even tho he could easily do so with McLaren's help and Oscar is a solidly safe bet bc he's considered so inoffensive and loved now.

but they won't jump on their ship name, they won't play gay for attention and engagement, they don't create any memes or soundbites, and the sweet and fun things they do aren't buzzworthy or contrived into a bromance format that fans are cultivated to recognize. some fans know Oscar helps Lando's brain sometimes, they get on the same wavelength and have nonverbal communication, they respect and support each other even when there's a huge disparity of outcome in a weekend, and they both genuinely love making the other laugh. like, none of that is something you can stick on a sm graphic and guarantee the kinds of numbers the bromances get. Netflix even made a joke about how they couldn't create a narrative around them even when they openly begged to make it happen salfgsaljfgla.

nobody in PR is at all intrigued by these two guys cautiously getting to know each other and cultivating a unique and unlikely positive and healthy team atmosphere together. there's no handy orchestrated narrative there. McLaren social media occasionally roll with the 'twinning' thing but even that isn't gimmicky enough and it's more about them being on the same wavelength than them actually being identical in any way. even the Oscar nickname thing has been unconsciously taken from fans by Lando bc he only said it the first time without thinking and from there he's kept it as something that just makes them both smile AND has even changed it up when fans started co-opting it too much. and neither of them pull it out in random interviews to try and create a buzz about it.

and whenever we get a dry spot in landoscar content or for the millionth time hear about them hanging out and not posting it - it's worth remembering that we're also not getting the 1D/BTS rpf truther pipeline fans showing up and that no one will try and conspiracy theory Lily into a beard/fake/bitch/leech or even decide to dislike her !! and we don't have to realize ah, they're only hanging out or talking about each other to manipulate fan engagement for a double purpose. they're either together or mentioning each other bc of their job and otherwise it's bc they genuinely like each other.

side note it is always wild to me that I got sucked into F1 solely bc of carland0 PR and I don't normally mind the pandering - and I wouldn't mind it at all if carland0 as a fandom wasn't also responsible for the most repulsive, misogynist, maniacal campaign of hatred toward women and decides that either they're evil and fake/beards or they're brainless idiots with zero self-respect who serve as fake/beards. the fact that I got on f1blr and saw that ppl push that insanity and actually think carland0 could be or is actually a real gay relationship FULLY out in the open and with no shame to this very day... like shame on me for looking at gossip pages but genuinely I see it as much in normal fandom spaces as I do there which is insane. literally Lando decides to hit like on a post to generate the predictable response and the gossip pages go from every day shit to Rebecca back to being treated like a force of pure evil who urgently needs to be exposed and disposed of and who Carlos is paying for and doesn't even remotely like and is pure PR - even though apparently she's also terrible PR?? - and his family all want her destroyed and all the old photos and jobs fans dug up recirculating as "proof" that she is pure evil ??!!!! the woman hasn't even been publicly with Carlos since Barcelona and has done nothing but go horse riding and modeling but then someone sprays water on the carland0 hive and it's suddenly time to martial the fucking flotilla against her again as their only "obstacle" to carland0 finally being together aslsafglsjagflasfgljfag

I do have to laugh bc Carlos only growing in public affection for her and bringing her up when no one else does and him traveling with her to her modeling gigs when he's on break and leaving lovey comments on her content even tho she doesn't on his is already breaking ppls brains and making The Hatred Narratives change up every five seconds to try and de-legitimize them as a couple bffbfbf

[training4theapocalypse]

Finders Keepers Ch 11. (Cormac McLaggen x fem!reader)

Rating: Explicit 18+ (no smut)

Word Count: 5.9k

Warnings: Violence, injury detail

Summary: The new friend you made at the Holyhead Harpies tryouts is more than meets the eye.

A/N: If there's one thing I'm always gonna do it's announce a chapter will be posted on Sunday and post Friday instead. Sorry this took a hot minute - it's been through several drafts. McLaggen briefly channels Marc Darcy from Bridget Jones's Diary 2 and it made me swoon.

Tag list: @pretendfan, @countlambula, @ratsys, @aweidlich, @navs-bhat, @stainedpomegranatelips, @chiaraanatra, @xxvelvetxxxx, @ohnoitsrosie, @dracosisteer, @daisydark, @intense-sneezing, (let me know if you want removed at any point btw!)

Chapter 11: Blood Traitor

“Right then, here’s to the Holyhead Harpies’ two newest signings,” says McLaggen, grinning and raising his pint glass.

You beam at him, still giddy with excitement and hardly able to take it all in. You’ve done it. You’ve actually done it. And what’s more, you think you’ve made a friend in your new teammate. The only prospect at tryouts who had managed to get a goal past you was the other newest Holyhead Harpy signing and chaser, Cerys Thicknesse, who had taken McLaggen up on his offer to join you at the wizarding pub a few miles outside of Surrey to celebrate.

“And you’re sure you don’t mind a third wheel while I wait on my friend?”

And with that, the three of you apparated to The Black Dragon which was, from the way McLaggen and Cerys told it, the only decent wizarding pub in the south outside of London. When you arrived, you found it was as packed as you’d expect any pub to be on a Saturday evening. And now as the three of you sit around a small, beer-soaked table, you feel like you can finally relax and enjoy your moment.

“Here, here!” Cerys cheers, clinking her glass against yours and McLaggen’s. She twists the ends of her long, black hair, looking at him. “I’m so sure I know you from somewhere. I recognise your face.”

“Probably from Hogwarts,” he suggests.

She laughs. “I’ll take that as a compliment. How old are you?”

“Eighteen,” he says.

“Both of you? You’re just babies! I would have been in my sixth year when you started. And no offense but I didn’t pay much attention to the ickle firsties.” She pauses, drinking thoughtfully.

“Does your family live around here?” You ask. “McLaggen, your house isn’t far from here, right?”

Cerys clicks her fingers in realisation.

“McLaggen! That’s it. Crickey, you’re the spitting image of your dad. He’s the Deputy Head of Magical Law Enforcement, right?”

“You know my dad?” McLaggen looks baffled.

“He works with my dad, Pius Thicknesse, you know him? I did a bit of work experience with them at the Ministry a few years ago.”

“Oh, right! Of course… yeah. How is he?” He asks tentatively.

She hesitates. “Always at work. Yours?”

McLaggen laughs a little awkwardly. “Yeah, he’s the same. Your dad is keeping him busy.”

Wow. So Cerys’s dad was McLaggen’s dad’s boss.

There’s a bit of a grim silence when neither of them says anything. You haven’t read a copy of the Daily Prophet all summer but you know from what McLaggen’s told you that everyone at the Ministry is under a lot of pressure in the wake of You-Know-Who’s return.

“God, it’s like half of Hogwarts is here,” you say, just to break the stony silence. There are a few faces from other houses and years that you sort of recognise from Hogwarts. You suppose it’s a small world when every witch and wizard in the country goes to the same school.

“Oh yeah, all the really old wizarding families live around here. Makes sense really, they all moved out to the country hundreds of years ago when the Muggles in London started multiplying.”

“Right, yeah…” You’re pretty sure that was a note of disdain in her voice. Normally, you’d question it but you’ve only just made the team. The last thing you want to do is make assumptions about your teammate and jeopardise your position before you’ve even picked up your uniform.

McLaggen senses it too. He gives your thigh a comforting squeeze under the table in acknowledgement. Silent reassurance that he not only heard it but understands your predicament.

“So, how long have you two been going out then?” Cerys asks.

You’re glad of another change of subject but you’re not sure when to start counting from.

“Since December,” says McLaggen, looking at you adoringly and not concerning Cerys with the finer on-and-off details. His warm smile and his hand on your leg make your stomach flip. 

“And you both live down here?”

“McLaggen does. I’m about to stay with his family for a couple of weeks until we decide where to live.”

She groans. “You’re so lucky. It’s so hard to find a boyfriend from a decent family these days.” Well. Now you know what she means by that. You’re wondering why you’ve flown under her radar as a Muggle-born. Your performance at trials? Your being here with McLaggen?

Before either of you can reply, Cerys excuses herself to the bathroom. As soon as she’s out of earshot you turn to McLaggen. “What the fuck?” you half-laugh, half-exhale in disbelief. 

He looks at her figure darkly as she disappears through the bathroom door. “I had a bad feeling as soon as she said who her dad was. You’ve heard of Amelia Bones, right?” he asks in a hushed voice.

The name sounds vaguely familiar. “Someone at the Ministry?”

“Amelia Bones was the Head of my dad’s department. But she was murdered - by You-Know-Who himself apparently.”

Your eyes widen. “Murdered?”

“And then everyone assumed Scrimgeour would put my dad in charge. But for some reason, he gave Thicknesse the job.” He shakes his head and takes a sip of his drink. “He and my dad are good friends… he must have had his reasons. But now Thicknesse is making everyone work on a ‘top secret’ piece of legislation.”

You frown. “How can legislation be top secret? Doesn’t it need to go through the Wizengamot? Anyone can turn up to watch those meetings.”

McLaggen shrugs. “None of it makes sense. I guess I’ll find out more when I start working there.” He puts down his pint glass glumly.

“You alright, McLaggen?”

“Yeah! Yeah, totally fine,” he says a bit too quickly, rearranging his face into a smile.

“Are you worried about your dad?”

“We’ll talk later. I don’t want to make things about me. Not when we’re celebrating.”

“Well, I think someone’s already put a bit of a dampener on that.” You give an edgy look at the ladies’ to make sure Cerys isn’t coming back. “Tell me. Please.”

He puts down his drink and takes both of your hands in his. “I am so incredibly, unbelievably proud of you. You know that, right?” You stare into his green eyes. He means it. “And seeing your dreams come true today makes me so happy. You’re so sure of what you want and so determined to get it - and today you did. But it also made me realise… I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“You mean working at the Ministry?”

“The more I find out about the office politics the less I want to work there.”

You twist your mouth, thinking about Amelia Bones. “It sounds really dangerous. I’m surprised your dad still wants you to join.”

“Yeah… I mean, I don’t think I’d be great at keeping secrets the way my dad does. Or working in an office with all those Ministry-types.”

“You’re starting to sound like my dad.” You allow yourself a small smirk but he doesn’t say anything, he just looks at your hands in his. “Cormac,” you add quietly. “You should take him up on his offer. It would mean you could at least lie low for a bit”

He lets out a tiny exhale of a laugh. “Yeah, right. My dad would kill me. He’d say it’d bring our whole family into shame if I ditched the Ministry to play a Muggle sport.”

“Well… you don’t need to tell him. Not right away,” you suggest. “Keep it vague - you could say you’re taking a gap year in Scotland. Hunting Nogtails or whatever it is you used to do with your Uncle Tiberius.”

McLaggen pauses, considering this. “Yeah… that might work.”

“We’ve still got a few weeks for you to decide.”

“What about us, though? I thought we were going to start looking at places to live near The Harpies’ training ground?”

“I’d move back to Scotland in a second. We could always get a flat, and connect it to the Floo Network so I can travel to Wales. I mean, we’d probably spend a fortune on Floo powder. But it would be worth it if we were both happy.”

He nods, looking considerably more cheerful than he had been a second ago. “Let’s talk about it back at mine. Here comes Cerys - we’ll make our excuses and get out of here after this drink.”

Cerys stops in the middle of the pub, talking to a tall, hulking boy with black hair who has his back to you.

“We might be in for a lucky escape,” you say. “Looks like her mate has finally arrived.”

Cerys waves brightly and starts walking over to your table. Her new companion turns around to follow her and with a sinking feeling, you recognise him. And from the way his eyes narrow when he spots you and McLaggen, he recognises you too.

Marcus Flint. He was the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch Team when you first started playing in your second year. He and your predecessor Rodger Davies hated each other with a passion. And for good reason. It was no secret that Marcus was highly selective when it came to the Slytherin team - only allowing purebloods to even try out whereas Davies was Muggle-born just like you. You frown, remembering how Flint would make a spectacle of wiping his hand on his robes after their Captain’s handshake. 

Cerys sits back down. Her new companion doesn’t follow suit.  “This is Marcus. Marcus this-”

“I didn’t expect to see you keeping company like this, Cerys,” Flint snorts.

She looks up from Marcus and back to the two of you, confused.

“You’re having drinks with an up-jumped daddy’s boy and a mudbl-”

“Careful,” McLaggen cuts across him warningly. “Say that word and we’re going to have a problem.”

“Careful?” laughs Flint. “You’re the one who should be careful, McLaggen.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“What is this?” asks Cerys, her nostrils flaring as she glares at you accusatorily. She looks at McLaggen. “Have you been confunded? Or maybe your dad just hasn’t told you.”

“Won’t be long til they’ve got them all rounded up, McLaggen. You should ditch her before they throw you in Azakaban too for being a blood traitor.”

Rounded up? Azkaban?

“I’m not going to tell you twice -” starts McLaggen, getting to his feet. You remember when you first started playing Quidditch you thought the then-sixth-year Flint was the biggest person you’d ever seen. But as McLaggen draws himself to his full height, you see the tiniest flicker of surprise in Flint’s eyes when McLaggen’s become level with his.

“Cormac, what’s going on?” you ask, panic making your heart pump wildly in your chest, all your senses telling you that something dangerous is about to happen.

“Nothing. It’s nonsense.”

“Didn’t you read this morning’s Prophet?” Flint sneers. “Times are changing. S’perfectly fine to call her what she is.” He takes a step towards McLaggen. “Mudblood.”

McLaggen takes a deep breath. “Flint, will you step outside, please?”

Marcus Flint sneers. “What? You gonna duel me, McLaggen?”

Absurdly McLaggen laughs. So loudly it attracts the attention of several other pub-goers. He looks at you as he laughs as if he simply can’t believe the punchline of a hilarious joke Flint has just told. 

He straightens his face. “No.” He turns back to face Flint and looks at him seriously. “I’m going to beat the shit out of you.”

Before Flint can even twitch his fingers for his wand, McLaggen punches him square in the face. The witches and wizards in the pub reel away from the commotion in panic. Cerys screams and Flint grabs McLaggen’s shoulders, dragging him out of the front doors onto the gravel path outside.

You abandon your bags and brooms, almost knocking the table over to push Cerys out of the way and get through the door before her. 

You burst outside in time to see Flint elbow McLaggen in the face as McLaggen drags him to the floor. They scramble on the ground, sending dust and pebbles flying. McLaggen gets up first, pushing down hard on Flint’s face against the gravel. Flint tries to lift himself up but McLaggen punches down, hitting him once, twice, three times. The sound of his fists make sickening, dull thuds as they sink into Flint’s face while he splutters on the ground raggedly.

You’d always joked you’d like to see McLaggen hit someone.

But this is brutal. 

“Cormac!” 

Your cry rips through the evening air, making McLaggen look up at you for a split second, his bloody fist raised above Flint’s head.

“Petrificus totalus!” screams a voice behind you.

You turn to see Cerys with her wand pointed at McLaggen. 

His body goes rigid and you barely have time to register her using such an unfair, underhanded tactic before Flint kicks out from under him, getting to his feet. Using all his might, he kicks McLaggen’s constricted body right in the stomach and you hear the distinct crack of ribs breaking.

A horror-stricken sob escapes your lips as Flint walks around to his head, and it’s like you see the scene before you unfolding in slow motion as Flint raises a foot, getting ready to stamp on McLaggen’s face.

You don’t have time to think. You just react.

“Impedimenta!” you cry, brandishing your wand and sending Flint flying backwards. Before Cerys can open her mouth again, you dive on top of McLaggen and extend your wand.

“Protego!”

The shield charm forms an invisible barrier between you and McLaggen’s frozen body, and Cerys and Flint who’s getting to his feet. Flint limps over towards you but you hold fast, concentrating on your shield charm with all your might - exactly how McLaggen showed you. 

“You dithgusting-” starts Flint but he stops, raising a hand to his mouth. Cerys looks at his face in shock. In the dim light coming from the pub windows, you can see that several of Flint’s front teeth are missing.

“Let’s go, Marcus,” she says, scowling at the two of you on the floor. “My father will hear about this.”

She links her arm through his and with a crack they disappear into the night.

With a shuddering gasp, you lower your wand and the shield charm breaks. You bring yourself to look at McLaggen. His eye is bloodshot and starting to bruise, and blood trickles from his nose into his mouth through parted lips.

“F-f-f-finite. Fuck! Finite incantatem,” you whisper shakily and he sits bolt upright, choking and coughing as your spell releases him from the body-bind curse. He pants, trying to catch his breath and spits out a significant amount of blood onto the dusty ground.

“Oh, Cormac,” you sob, looking at his broken nose and red welt on his eye.

“I’b alright…” he says thickly, pinching the bridge of his nose then thinking better of it with a wince.

“Do you want me to fix it?” you ask.

“Cab you?” he asks.

“You think I’ve never taken a bludger to the face?” You give his hand a soft squeeze and touch the tip of your wand to his nose. “Episkey.”

McLaggen scrunches up his face, feeling his nose resume its usual shape. 

“I’ve never done ribs before. I think you need Skele-Gro.”

Every time you blink your mind switches from Flint kicking McLaggen to McLaggen pummelling Flint’s bloody face. 

“I’m still handsome, right?” McLaggen’s voice snaps you out of it. You look seriously at his blood-strewn face, dripping down the front of his T-shirt. Flint came off worse, sure, but there’s no two ways about it - even in the moonlight you can see he’s taken a severe beating.

“Cormac, it’s not funny.”

You hear the noise of the pub revellers as the door opens and with a clatter and thud, the barmaid throws both of your brooms and rucksacks out onto the ground.

“Can you fly?” you ask, getting to your feet and extending a hand.

“I don’t think so.” He groans, accepting your hand and with a heave, you pull him up. McLaggen clutches his side and stumbles when he tries to put one foot in front of another. “It’s not far but we should probably just apparate.”

You quickly pick up all of your things and McLaggen shakes his head like a dog shaking water from his ears and nearly falls again.

“Christ, don’t do that Cormac. You might have a concussion.”

“I’m fine,” he insists. 

You put his arm around your shoulders, taking as much of his weight as you can manage. It’s not easy given his size. Then when he shuffles forward everything goes dark as the familiar feeling of all-consuming pressure encapsulates your bodies and you disapparate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You materialise outside a gate looking onto a sprawling lawn, spilling out in front of a historic country house a few miles deeper into the Surrey countryside. 

“Wow,” you look at your surroundings as the moon streaks down, casting a pearlescent glow over the gates. “How far is the walk to yours? Not that I’m complaining,” you add, feeling his weight on your shoulders.

McLaggen gives you a confused look and points his wand at the gate tentatively. “About thirty seconds?” 

Maybe he is concussed.

“Are you sure this is the right place?” You ask gently.

“I’m pretty confident I know where I live. Flint doesn’t have that good a right hook.” 

You almost drop your brooms. You knew McLaggen was well off but this can’t be where he lives. “Tell me you’re joking.”

“Yeah, it’s just there. Woah - are you okay?”

You feel your knees buckle and it’s not to do with your strength faltering under his weight - although it doesn’t help - his house is bigger than your entire block of flats.

“This is your house?”

His wand emits a soft golden glow and the gate unlocks. He tries to push it open but lets out a wince of pain and grips his side.

“Here, let me,” you say. McLaggen holds onto the wall so you can shove the wrought iron gate. When you jam it open, you hook his arm over your shoulder so you can help him through.

You feel a trickle of embarrassment creeping through your body as you half-carry him through the open gate and up the path towards the manor thinking about your parents' little flat. Your bedroom so small that your bed is pushed up against the wall. It makes you want to retreat to the safety of your own home.

Home. With your Muggle parents.

You have a million more questions about what Cerys and Flint meant but now isn’t the time. McLaggen is in no fit state to answer them. Instead, you concentrate on helping McLaggen up the old stone steps leading to a pair of giant oak front doors.

“My dad will probably still be at the Ministry but let me do the talking if my mum is still awake.” You help him push the heavy double doors open with difficulty. 

When you step inside and your eyes widen. Until now, the only place you’ve ever been before with an entrance hall like this is Hogwarts. This house is dark at this late hour but there’s enough light that your eyes can make out objects you’ve come to associate with the wizarding world.

There are moving portraits on the walls who peer out at you as you pass through the foyer. McLaggen’s family of times gone by - a few of them look aghast at his appearance as you half-carry him in. 

In the centre of the ceiling is a giant, levitating armillary sphere, depicting the constellations around the earth. Tiny glowing stars light up the bronze ball, casting speckles of light throughout the entryway.

“You’re home!” Comes Mrs McLaggen’s voice, her heeled slippers clicking on the grand wooden staircase as she comes downstairs wearing a beautiful satin robe. 

You feel McLaggen bracing himself for her reaction. 

“So? Can I assume we have a famous Quidditch player staying with us?” She asks. “What are you doing down there in the dark? Lumos,” she says and a dozen gas lamps light up the hall. 

She claps her hands to her chest when she reaches the bottom landing and lets out a whimper of shock when she sees you both.

“Mum, I can explain-“

“Cormac, darling, what on earth happened?!”

“We ran into some trouble. Just… let me get cleaned up before Dad comes home and sees.”

“Before I see what?” Comes a voice from upstairs. 

Uh-oh. You and McLaggen glance at each other before looking up to see Mr McLaggen leaning over the balcony. 

“What in the blazes have you two been doing, Cormac?” he sighs, coming downstairs. 

“It’s my fault - not hers. I got into a fight.”

“You’ve been duelling?”

“Not exactly.”

Mr McLaggen reaches the bottom of the stairs and gets a better look at McLaggen’s bloody appearance.

“Merlin’s beard - don’t tell me you were Muggle brawling. And for goodness sake, stop using your girlfriend like a coat rack. I thought we raised you to behave like a gentleman.”

“I can manage-“ you start but your slightly strained voice gives you away.

“I think I’ve broken something,” says McLaggen.

Mr McLaggen positions himself under McLaggen’s other arm and you’re relieved when he takes the brunt of the load as the two of you help Cormac to the end of the hall and into a large, opulent dining room while Mrs McLaggen busies herself with picking up your things and lighting the chandelier with her wand. Mr McLaggen pulls out a chair so Cormac can sit down gingerly. 

“I think he might need Skele-Gro. I’ve never mended ribs before,” you say. Mrs McLaggen puts your brooms, bags and wands on the dining room table before summoning some potions and fabric.

In the bright light of the room, you can see his lip is burst too. Mr McLaggen draws a chair in front of him while Mrs McLaggen dabs some potion on his face. Cormac winces when it stings his face, healing the skin almost immediately.

“Nose looks good. Did you fix that for him?” Mr McLaggen asks you and you nod, stunned silent by how awful he looks now you can see him properly. 

“Hold this on your eye, sweetheart.” Mrs McLaggen hands him a piece of potion-soaked fabric. 

“Did you win at least?” asks Mr McLaggen and Cormac hesitates.

“It was pretty even.” You answer for him. “I had to break it up with a shield charm.”

“That’s a tactful way of saying he lost,” says Mr McLaggen. “But at least one of you can use magic.”

This isn’t the reaction you’d expected at all. And judging by the confused look on Cormac’s face, he too had expected his dad to be furious.

“Cormac actually taught me how to do them this summer,” you admit. 

“Well, it’s lucky he did,” says Mrs McLaggen, wiping blood from his face. “What a dreadful mess. Who did this to you, Cormac?”

“Dad…” says McLaggen in a strangled voice, looking past his mother warily. “It’s really bad. I’m sorry. It was a fight with Cerys Thicknesse’s friend. And she was there too. She’s going to tell her dad.”

Mr McLaggen freezes. For a moment, you think someone might have hit him with a body bind curse. “Cerys…? You can’t be serious.”

“I wasn’t thinking straight. Her friend was someone we went to school with and he -” he hesitates.

“He called me a mudblood,” you finish for him. Mrs McLaggen lets out a shocked shudder but Mr McLaggen just clenches his jaw.

“Cormac,” he says seriously, glancing at you. “I need you to tell me exactly what happened.”

He still doesn’t sound angry - just worried.

McLaggen removes the piece of fabric from his eye to look at his dad properly.

“Dad, I’m... I know I’ve made things difficult for you at work- ”

“Tell me everything - it’s imperative that I know all the details.”

McLaggen launches into the story, explaining what happened at the pub while his parents listen intently. When he gets to the part about Flint calling you ‘mudblood’, Mr McLaggen’s knuckles turn white. You fill in the gaps where Cormac’s memory is slightly hazy and Mrs McLaggen looks faint when you tell them about Cerys putting him in a body bind curse so Flint could hit him unarmed.

“And then we apparated here,” McLaggen finishes eventually. “But I still don’t know what they meant about Azkaban.”

“That’s where I come in,” says Mr McLaggen, taking off his glasses to clean them with a handkerchief from his pyjama pocket. “I’ve been trying my damndest for months to prevent something called the ‘Muggle-born Registration Commission’ coming to pass. You might have read in the Prophet this morning that it’s all but confirmed. And Rufus Scrimgeour didn’t come to work today. I fear the worst - it’s only a matter of time until they announce the Ministry has fallen.”

“Fallen? Dad, you mean-“

“Scrimgeour is either missing or dead. But the outcome will be the same.”

He says it matter-of-factly but you can see the pain in his green eyes, so strikingly similar to his son’s when he puts his glasses back on. They were good friends. Such good friends they spent Christmas together. And now he was gone.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Your father came home from work early to tell you. And when the two of you didn’t come back right away from tryouts, we assumed it had gone well and you’d be down the road at the pub,” says Mrs McLaggen. “We wanted to let you both have one last day of…” she trails off. You understand. Those precious couple of hours when all your dreams had come true were almost perfect. They wanted you to have that moment. 

“And the Muggle-born registration commission?” asks McLaggen, extending his hand to take yours and gripping it tightly. “What does it mean?”

“All Muggle-borns will soon be asked to register officially with the Ministry so the source of their magic can be investigated.” 

“The source?” Your face screws up in confusion.

“Unless you can prove that you have at least one close wizarding relative, the commission deems that you must have obtained your magical power illegally and you’ll be put on trial. But these will be sham trials - any Muggle-borns who present themselves will be arrested.” 

“Well, we’ll just say you’re my sister or something,” says McLaggen defiantly.

“Cormac, there’s no way- ” you start but Mr McLaggen beats you to it.

“You and I both know that everyone at the Ministry knows our family. And therein lies our problem with your altercation with Cerys,” Mr McLaggen looks at you. “I had made sure your name was erased from the record of recent Hogwarts graduates. But if Cerys knows, I’m sure she’ll make sure her dad adds your name to the list again.”

Mr McLaggen had erased your name. Now you understand why he couldn’t look you in the eyes when you met - he was putting his career and his entire family at risk to keep you safe. Your heart sinks realising that it was all for nought. McLaggen groans and rests his head in his hands. “Shit.”

Mrs McLaggen makes a disapproving noise at his language but she touches his shoulder gently.

“It’s not your fault, Cormac,” you say. “Flint knew I was Muggle-born.”

“Realistically, it was only a matter of time,” says Mr McLaggen. “But I thought you’d be safe here for a while. Now we’ll need to move swiftly and carefully so as not to draw attention to ourselves.”

“Dad, can’t you stop it from the inside? When I start working at the Ministry we could do it together,” says McLaggen bracingly, trying to sit upright in his chair. 

“I’ve tried to do everything I can to stop it already. And with Scrimgeour gone, we need to be seen to be cooperating. I have a feeling Dolores Umbridge will be keeping a close eye on me after your involvement with Dumbledore’s Army last year. She knows I have a son who’s sympathetic to the resistance.”

Cormac groans again. Between his actions and your presence, the two of you have put McLaggen’s family at risk.

“I should go,” you decide out loud. “You heard Flint, Cormac. It’s not safe for any of you if I’m staying here.”

The three of them protest immediately but Mr McLaggen protests the loudest and everyone turns to listen to him.

“No. The two of you can go to your Uncle Tiberius’s first thing tomorrow. When things settle, we’ll join you. But who knows how long that will take.”

“I need to be with my parents.”

“They’re only in danger if you’re with them. The Ministry doesn’t care about Muggles who have produced magical children - only the witches and wizards themselves,” says Mr McLaggen solemnly. “The best thing you can do to protect them is to keep your distance, write to them and pretend everything is as it should be.”

You feel your eyes welling up. Being brave doesn’t come easily to you the way it seems to come to Cormac and his family, so you shut your eyes and nod solemnly, hoping to stave off the tears.

Just this afternoon you were about the join the Holyhead Harpies. Now you’re going into hiding. You were going to move to Scotland near your parents. Now you’re not sure when you’ll see them again.

“How about I make us some tea?” asks Mrs McLaggen. “And then we can all get some rest.”

McLaggen nods resignedly and Mrs McLaggen conjures a teapot from thin air. You watch numbly as the teapot busies itself, filling three china teacups with the hot liquid before one of the cups slides in front of you.  

“Something stronger than tea for you, darling,” says Mrs McLaggen, conjuring two small cups and pouring Skele-Gro into one. “And something to help you sleep through the pain.” She pours a purple potion that you recognise as a sleeping draught in the other cup. McLaggen drinks the Skele-Gro with a grimace and goes to pick up the other cup.

“Not here. I’m not carrying you unconscious upstairs, you great lump,” Mr McLaggen admonishes.

“Oh, right. Yeah,” says McLaggen sheepishly.

As you drink your steaming hot cup of tea McLaggen screws his face up.

“You alright, McLaggen?”

“Yeah, it’s just the Skele-Gro. It’s definitely kicking in.”

He eventually manages to stand up and Mrs McLaggen tells you pointedly that the guest bedroom is next door to Cormac’s room. The two of you bid his parents goodnight before slowly making your way upstairs as McLaggen grips onto the bannister and you carry the small cup of sleeping draught carefully.

“This is my room.” He nods at the door and you open it, letting him in.

There’s no need for a bed to be pushed up against the wall for space in here. His four-poster sits in front of an airy bay window overlooking the vast moonlit grounds outside. With a pained exhale he sits on the edge of the bed.

“This is adorable,” you say, picking up a framed photo of a children’s Quidditch team on his bedside table. “Which one are you?”

“Wait for it,” he sighs. A small boy on a broom cuts through the group and the rest of the team scatters.

“That makes more sense,” you giggle, watching an eight-year-old McLaggen causing chaos. “It’s very cute.”

He shakes his head. “I had meant to tidy that away before you came to visit.”

“I used to think you were tough, McLaggen. This is much better,” you say, replacing the picture on the table.

“I’ve been in a pub fight today. I think that’s pretty tough.”

You sit beside him on the bed and look at his blood-stained t-shirt.

“I’ll help you get this off.” He winces as you help him take it off over his head. You help him undress and arrange his pillows so he can lie back comfortably.

“I’d hoped you’d be taking my clothes off in here under different circumstances,” he says, a little weakly. And despite his injuries, he still manages to give you an arrogant smile that makes you melt.

“Well, I still get to enjoy the view,” you shoot back with a grin as you pull the feather-down duvet over him.

“Sleep in here tonight.” He grips your hand as you smooth out the quilt and those green eyes look at you beseechingly.

“Your parents have been so good to me - I need to respect their wishes. But I’ll stay here til you fall asleep,” you say, running your fingers through his hair. He leans into your touch when you stroke his face. His stubbly chin somehow feels as comforting against your palm as your own touch reassures him. “Drink up.” You pass him the sleeping draught.

He does so and you trace your thumb over his healed lip, wiping away the purple liquid.

“Still handsome. Your dad was right - I did do a good job with your nose.”

He exhales softly and you see his eyelids getting heavier.

“I’m sorry about tonight,” he says sleepily.

You’re not annoyed at him. It would be hypocritical of you to criticise him for being hot-headed and getting into a fight. You’d have done the same in his position. And yes, it was awful - you’ve never been so scared. But McLaggen would go to the ends of the earth for you. And you for him.

“Don’t be sorry. You were standing up for me.”

“Not that -“ He stifles a yawn. “I’m sorry… that you have to… go into hiding.”

You’re trying not to think about your dreams of playing for the Holyhead Harpies shattering into a million pieces. 

“I’m just glad we’re together.”

You look sadly at the photo of the little quidditch team. McLaggen zooms in and out of frame in his yellow robes.

“You never told me you were a Wimbourne Wasps fan.”

When he doesn’t reply you look back to see he’s fast asleep - dead to the world. You kiss him on the head and inhale deeply. The beautiful, comforting smell of amber and jasmine calms all of your senses. Everything has gone wrong. But it’ll all be alright in the end.

Just then an urgent clanging sound rings, echoing through the vast hallway outside. You hear Mr and Mrs McLaggen running into the hallway downstairs, their voices raised in panic but Cormac doesn’t even stir.

You wrench your wand from your pocket and leap off the bed and out of the door. When you look over the bannister, you see the giant armillary sphere spinning wildly, the glowing stars burning red.

“The gate?” Mrs McLaggen asks her husband, colour draining from her face.

“Oh no,” you whimper and they look up at you.

You were so encumbered helping Cormac and carrying your belongings that you didn’t shut the enchanted gate behind you. And you can tell by their panic that the gate had some sort of protective enchantment.

Mr McLaggen grabs his wife’s shoulders “I’m sorry.”

He spins around and points his wand at you.

“Expelliarmus!” 

Your wand flies from your hand before you even realise what’s happening. Mrs McLaggen shrieks and backs into the wall in terror, away from her husband.

“Gregor!” calls a voice from the front doors. “I’ve received word you’re harbouring a Muggleborn.” A man with long black hair and a pointed silver beard storms through the entryway, accompanied by two others who you assume to be Aurors.

“She’s upstairs, Thicknesse. We’ve got her!” Mr McLaggen calls back.

Fuck.

Chapter 12: Cold, Hard Facts

[korgbelmont]

Choices Insiders January 2024

Happy new year everyone! Hope you all enjoyed and are looking forward to the year ahead!

Actually back this time with this month's Insiders. Apologies for not doing my normal post on the December Insiders, but I was just too ill to be able to focus so decided it was best to leave it.

Anyway! Here we go. New year, new post.

So I chose other and this is what I put;

Found it while scrolling for games on the playstore and thought "yeah, give that a go".

That was in 2018 and here I am haha

I haven't seen anything on Unbridled as to what people think of it, so I won't say much. I'll give it a go when it begins it's release and see what it's like.

Same as above. I'll give it a go when it begins it's release and see what it's like. Other than that, I can't say much.

Let me know what you think of both this and Unbridled if you have played them!

So slight confession with both of these. I've only got to the first two chapters of Ship of Dreams when it began it's release and I've only played the first Chapter of Cursed Heart 2. It's that thing of forgetting one week and then just keep forgetting. I am planning to catch up with it over the weekend as I am intrigued by it and even though for me it's only been one chapter, I'm interested by new characters Oleander and Jack.

I never actually attempted this. I had thought about it, but I can't remember why, but I decided not to have a go. Congrats to those who saw it all the way through!

I haven't played DnD in years, last time was not long before everything hit and my friends and I could no longer meet up to do so. But if we do decide to, I may have a look at the sheets on the wiki and pop a character in to play as haha

Having seen the official cover for Hot Shot, I know which one was used. But to be honest, a majority of covers these days are very similar, so I don't think much.

One thing I would be interested to know is what lead to choosing Ice Hockey as the sport.

Given that they mentioned the shower in particular, I'm guessing there is a scene with the MC and Love Interest in the shower.

The third image makes me think that it is going to be from the CG that is usually seen in the first chapter. Maybe the Love Interest intercepting it or something...

Putting these two as I wanted to discuss a couple things about Blades 3. Firstly, I am surprised a BK3 is happening. This one I feel is the final one as usually they only go up to 3. The second bit is that I am surprised at how early it has been currently scheduled. I can see it changing as it did happen with BK2, but yeah. Same with Crimes 3 to be honest on both points.

Okay, so a couple of new titles, but first I want to speak about The Deadliest Game as when I opened up this morning, I found out about the VIP Exclusive prequel. It has me wondering if we will see this more often or if it just a one off. It does mean though that it looks like it has something related to gambling.

Right, next up is Along Came Treble and The Ghost of Us which were announced last month. I've seen people say about how it is a music book (maybe it's meant to be a mature version of Platinum). I'll give it a go when it begins it's wide release.

The Ghost of Us sounds like a book that could be a book set in two time periods about two lovers reincarnated and their ghosts of their past selves guiding them to the other. Not much information other than the title to go on at the moment.

So the first new new title here is Filthy Rich, and to be honest, it screams that it's a more mature book.

The other new title is Hearts of Fire. I think I remember them saying about a Firefighter book at somepoint last year, and here it is.

But before all of that, there is Immortal Desires 2. I am really looking forward to this one. It was such a welcome surprise to see the 180 and have a sequel greenlit. Looking forward to more Gabriela and curious to see who the villains of this one are.

First Wide Release isn't until next month. I am curious as to why it got pushed back, maybe they're trying to keep with their VIP release schedule and keep double month releases together...

That's it for this month. As always, I will do my best to nab screenshots from one of their other social accounts and post on here.

Keep safe everyone!

[gaygoetia]

Magical Shorthand in the Legend of Vox Machina

So I've been drafting a lot of posts about the just-announced Mighty Nein animated series (thoughts, hopes, predictions etc), one of which is about magic and how it will be represented. This led me into a tangent about TLOVM that's long enough that I think it works better as it's own post so here it is!

What magic looks like in TLOVM

One of the things I LOVE about the spellcasting in TLOVM is how each character's spells are visually distinct, usually through colour coding.

In addition to looking great, this visual shorthand makes it easy to identify who's casting what in magic-heavy fight scenes, with the added bonus of representing something of that character's personality.

Scanlan

Scanlan is the most obvious example because it's the most visually distinctive and cohesive.

The visual manifestation of Scanlan's magic is ALWAYS purple - a specific pinkish shade of it.

It's always shiny or sparkly and usually takes the form of a giant semi-translucent body part (usually a hand)

When it manifests in a different form (i.e not a distinct shape) it's usually lightning shaped ribbons or sparks but sometimes an intense purple glow or sparkly purple cloud.

Like Scanlan himself, his magic is colourful, flashy and dramatic and he uses it in creative and unusual ways.

Pike

Pike's magic manifests in a few different ways but it always appears as yellow, and ranges from a soft glow to a bright light.

One of her most commonly used abilities is to create a magical shield which glows softly and sparks upon impact. It's semi-translucent like Scanlan's hand but doesn't move or change shape (though it can change size!)

Certain abilities cause her eyes or hands to glow yellow and of course her astral self glows yellow all over.

Her magic is pretty straightforward. If the spell affects or relates to another object it causes it to glow and offensive spells resemble targeted beams of light that shoot out directly from her hands.

Keyleth

Keyleth's magic is by far the most diverse in the series and her magic reflects that.

Her signature spells/abilities are wildshape and whatever she uses to create and control vines. In both cases, these abilities happen without any kind of magical glow around them and therefore aren't colour-coded in the same way as other spells.

Spells that do involve light and colour usually reflect the element or school of magic associated with them and I think it was the right choice because it makes it easier to identify what she's doing. If the spell daylight, for example, was any other colour it wouldn't be so obvious what it's doing.

All that said, a handful of Keyleth's spells ARE colour-coded, meaning that her hands, eyes, staff or a combination of the three glow green when they're cast. Her hands always glow green when she uses touch-based spells but it also happens at other random points with no particular pattern I can identify (for example her hands sometimes glow when she controls vines but at other times they don't)

And of course it's not just the main characters! Delilah's magic resembles jagged black shapes with an eerie purple outline. Zahra's magic is red and ripples outwards.

So what could magic look like in the Mighty Nein animated series?

Well, given her canonically pink spiritual weapon and spiritual guardians, I think it's safe to say Jester's magic will have a pink theme - though probably a warmer hot pink than Scanlan's pink-purple.

The one exception to this I think would be her cold-themed version of hellish rebuke which will likely be in white or blue to represent the element it's associated with.

Caduceus is also somewhat pink-themed but I imagine his magic might have a turquoise-green colour theme to match his armour.

Molly/Lucien's magic will be red themed for sure in classic blood-magic form.

I'm really not sure about Fjord but his spells might potentially have a blue theme given his affinity to the sea. They might also be a generic white or vary depending on the spell.

For Caleb I definitely think they'll take the same approach as Keyleth wherein his spells appearances are more determined by what they do than who's casting them. However I think if his magic is colour-coded (maybe just for touch-spells like Keyleth) it will be an amber colour somewhere between yellow and orange.

Dunamancy is usually depicted as black and purple so I'm curious to see how they'll distinguish it from Delilah's necromantic magic. I can imagine them maybe doing something black with lots of tiny stars, like a glimpse into space, which would look very cool and also feel appropriate.

What do y'all think?

I would truly love to hear other people's thoughts on this!!

[notafunkiller]

kinda sudden but i came here everytime just to check on your thoughts abt sebby or aw bcs i randomly saw your post the other day and im hooked😂😭 (and everytime aw posted smth, i checked ur tumblr just to see if you posted anything)

im a very new seb stan ‘stan’ so i didn’t know anything abt him. i only know bits of this and that. im not really the type who’s busy with sum1s relay but i do love gossip and i love your thoughts😂 (i mean mainly my tiktok fyp love aw and sebby, or them being jealous, yours r the first i saw who talks abt smth different)

now bear with me bcs i am a certified yapper

i first came across your ‘body language’ post and it made me think back abt this one vid at the met gala where sebby touched a girls back at the stair (idk if u saw it) the first time i saw it i was like…

“SEBASTIAN STAN, U HAVE A GF😂🫵🏻 U R CAUGHT IN 4K!!”

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSYPXxyQm/ (this vid)

i know its an innocent act but its so funny for me at the time bcs i never saw any vids abt him and aw so i was taken back a little (if that were my bf i would be REALLY sad😂)

its crazy how that video oozes with so much intimacy /tension or whtv than the vid of him kissing aw at Cannes😂😭 (personally thats what i think)

….

IT MADE ME FERAL like… did u see that hand placement? i would fold so quickly and ask if he’s single😂😂😂

for the others like the pic at cannes, maybe (maybe) he’s nervous, she is too, so their action were jumbled (i saw ur post saying that the two of them werent seen together for a long time, so maybe thats why) + its a big event too, he’s really nervous (a fact bcs its so obvious from his face) thats why the pic came off awkward? idk😂

im not there when he first start dating aw, so i couldnt really judge and make some deep theory however i think (personally) they do fall in love at one point, but now its not??? like the early times? does that makes sense? bcs i did see sum pics and its cute but man idk, besides a mere picture couldn’t tell the whole story. it’s sending mixed signals😂

the urge to interrogate them is so strong, but whtv, its not my problem, i just wanna tell u abt the met gala video and sum of my thoughts. oh and i will always protect and defend sebastian stan (well…unless the issue is undefendable😂 thats another story)

im ending it with a random sebby stan gif, enjoy (oh and also a cat gif bcs it almost look the same as his gif)

with love from:

>> cartof

First of all hiii and welcome here, really nice to meet you!

How are youuu?

Now talking about what you said... well, for someone so nervous, she announced her appearance at Cannes, so I do not believe this whole: I'm shy thing. Especially based on her behaviour and how she talks.

Also, yeah, that video with the hand on the back made the shippers mad bit also defensive. It was hot.

The fact he does not touch AW on the red carpet even for the photo is loud to me. They did not make a couple red carpet entrance and he stepped on her dress. He is an affectionate person in general and honestly (that kiss was not even actually on the mouth) he looked more affectionate with Maria at Cannes...

(Also about Sebastian in general... I wish he didn't crave an Oscar so badly, ngl. It's political and not that much based on merits sometimes, but it's his work... his choice.)

[justatalkingface]

I'd love to hear your full thoughts on Bakugou. Shinsou too, though I suppose there's less to say about him

Hmm. The thing is with Bakugou is that I did actually post about him, months ago. I submitted it to that Anonymous Bakugou Hot Takes thing, long before I ever made this blog. It's not that I can't make a new post (and probably a better one? I'll admit that one had a lot more 'angry screaming' in it than I'm trying to actually put in these, and I think all this writing is helping me improve), but I kinda need to reorient my mindset so I don't just rewrite it, if that makes sense. So not now, but at some point in the near future, probably yeah.

Meanwhile, can I offer you some Shinsou analysis in these trying times?

Alright, here's the first thing: a lot of people who are reading this will have likely read some fanfiction, and seen Shinso there. There, you will learn that he's a sad, sad child, bullied by his classmates for his villainous Quirk, probably abused by his parents, and the only people who have ever thought well of him are Izuku and Aizawa.

Picture him in your mind. Place your hands on his shoulders firmly. Now, I want you to YEET HIM. Yeet him from your mind, from your memories, from your biases, from your basic understanding of his character. Fanon Shinsou is a fucking lie, and I want you to yeet those lies from your mind.

Let's sum up canon: First off, he's part of the mob of people who come to gawk at 1A for being almost murdered for having the guts to, gasp, go on a field trip. (I have never once been impressed by the crowd, as you might have guessed. Everyone is convinced that 1A is... bragging? You know, by just never mentioning it until someone else brings it up? Bragging about how a group of terrorists came to murder them, and how a lot of them almost died?)

Here, Bakugou makes an ass of himself, you know, as usual, and everyone, including Class 1B, who canonly just another hero class, thinks that he speaks for everyone, somehow. Having gained a bad impression of, not just 1A, but all heroics classes (even though we literally have Tetsutetsu from B, who says he's from B, go 'dude what the fuck' a minute later) Shinsou proceeds to go, 'I WILL DESTROY YOUUUUUU!!!!!' which is... you know, great. We get a bad first impression of him because he's honestly being almost as much of a dick as Bakugou.

Shinsou. You never want to, on any level, have your attitude be like Bakugou. The bar was near the damn ground, but you burrowed under it anyways. For shame, Shinsou, for shame.

Then we get to Sports Festival, where most of his screen time is, and he starts off by getting upset how UA is upping the brand for the hero students and 1A especially, which... alright, let's take a brief break for a public service announcement:

Fuck the Sports Festival. No, seriously, fuck the Sports Festival. It's stupid, it's bad for the students, it's just... no. Why is this a thing? Outside of giving Izuku more PANIK, I guess?

Only UA does this, and when UA was the best of the best of the best, SIR of schools that was..., actually it wasn't any better then, but it was somewhat more understandable. Then Shiketsu, UA's (theoretical, since we've never actually seen them live up to their hype, since they stopped existing after the licensing exams) equal, suddenly exists, and now you have to wonder why UA, of all schools, is the only one who does this. And it's somehow equal to the Olympics...? What, seriously? Are you saying every country watches this? Or that every sport has just never updated to really include Quirks? Or that all the sports obsessed fans are just going to forsake their obsession because HeRoS? Dial it back, Hori.

Beyond how over inflated it is... it's blood sports. The two of the three events center around high schoolers attacking each other, and the first includes it organically as a method of success. I doubt any of the other options we don't see are any better. All these people, all over Japan, or the world even, tune in to watch actual children hurt each other.

Best, or worst, of all, is it's clearly just a symptom of the over-celebritization of heroes that MHA pretends to talk about sometimes; really, the main reason this event exists is just to raise public hype, to sell the students as products to the public. The interning heroes could just... watch a private version of this, that isn't televised to the entire world, displaying the students strengths and weaknesses, humiliating the losers and denying the victors any privacy as soon as they leave their homes, because they don't even gets masks.

Now back to your regularly scheduled ranting.

Alright, so Shinsou deals with the race by... being carried around like a king. On an objective level, this is minimal effort for him, so he has more energy for him, so it's logical (or Aizawa style 'logical', more in a moment). On a more practical level, this fool child clearly hasn't realized that he needs to promote himself to the other heroes; any of them that see that are going to think he's just fucking lazy. On a Real Talk level, I don't think he could have passed if he actually tried to attempt it normally, because he's clearly not used to, you know. Using his body, judging by how much he flailed once he Quirk failed him later. As he tries to become a hero. Big Brain Move, there, Shinsou. (although I feel I should mention that there's like, four people just holding him up and walking? Maybe running? Every one of those barriers would have hard countered that, and his Quirk would do nothing to stop robots, tightropes, and a minefield. I'm honestly surprised he managed to pass at all, really; that can't have been fast. I suppose Hori didn't actually think about that, and he needed Shinsou to pass, so he passed, but his strategy is pretty dumb, just saying).

So, here's the thing about Shinsou: until now, he's mainly been comprised of bad judgement calls, making bad assumptions, and being rude. Not actually that big a deal, really. The Cavalry Battle is where we realize he's kind of an asshole.

He brainwashes his own teammates. Not because they don't work well together, not to make them, like 'coordinate' better like he's a hivemind (he doesn't work like that), not because they're enemies, but because... he can, I guess. Actually, there's a question of here if they even decided to team with him at all, or he just talked to the people he wanted and brainwashed them; I don't see anything that clears that up either way.

And that's the problem with Shinsou: he doesn't see a problem with doing that, with controlling the people around him, not even for an advantage, but just because he has that choice. And that's fucked up.

Worse, from what we've seen, him trying to talk to Izuku before hand? Is an attempt to plant his Quirk. Which I'm pretty sure is blatantly against the rules, but no one noticed it, and Hori doesn't see any problems with it, so the narrative shows this and everything else he does as him just being 'resourceful', instead of cruel or arrogant.

It's worse when you realize he has this... self-imposed victim complex, that he has it so hard. And how does he decide this? By what Quirks people have. Izuku has a strong Quirk, so his life must have been perfect, right?

*cue flashbacks to Izuku's entire life*

Yeah, the funny thing is? Shinsou is unironically Quirkest. He thinks the only reason anyone passes or fails anything is whether or not they had a good Quirk or not.

This is doubly ironic, because fanon Shinsou has everyone be Quirkest to him. But let's look at that flashback: he has people talking to him, that are at least friendly. One person says they're afraid, but right before they said that, one guy says he's jealous. The second flash back in A vs B has someone joking about being afraid of him.

Everyone we see now? Not one person is afraid. Even back then, no one is mentioning a 'villainous' Quirk, just that it's strong. Strong like Bakugou, who also had people afraid of him. It's just that Shinsou took at as a personal affront, and Bakugou liked it.

Really, the biggest thing we've seen Shinsou suffer from from his Quirk is it just matched badly with the UA Entrance Exam. Everything else, all the dislike he gets? It's because he's an asshole ("everyone here is an obstacle"), and uses his Quirk to use people. He plays down to the expectations he thinks people have of him, and so plays himself by making them think that way. Sasuga, Shinsou!

Beyond that... when you look at 'good' and 'bad' Quirks like he does? He has one of those good ones; every time someone talks about it it's just, 'Damn, that sounds useful'. His classmates liked it. The Heroes like it. The Hero classes like it. Every time someone's not directly threatened by it or were directly harmed (and sometimes even then anyways), they only sing its praises. Where is all this hate about Brainwash?

You've got to wonder if the reason he's so salty is that he knows that, knows he 'should' have passed with his 'good' Quirk, and took the fact he couldn't use it in the exam as a personal insult.

Fanon Shinsou just comes from someone who implied a bad experience, implied but never actually showed it happening, and then the fandom went fucking nuts off it. This escalated, and spread, until if you only know the fanfics (and I know one person who only reads MHA fanfics) then you'd think it's canon he spent his childhood loathed, spat on, and his parents put him in a muzzle.

But he's not. Ultimately, he's just one of many hollow characters in the series, ones that it's clear that will never actually be covered in any real depth.

[ghost-in-the-hall]

Posting Update!!

TW: mentions of weight loss (positive) and body dysmorphia, past trauma non-specific just mentioned, personal junk rant under the cut, above is general information about the posting update

Hello hello! I have finally returned for an update! Things have been crazy for me recently, so I apologize for the delay in the new chapters, but they are still being worked on! I don't have a definite posting date for anything yet, but I'm shooting to have something out by next week! If you would like to hear a little bit more about what's been going on in my life that's below! Just under the cut so no one is caught off guard by the TW's above, it's also a little long because I'm a rambler lol, but overall a lot of exciting stuff is happening on my end!

I go to see Powerwolf in 3 days, which as some, if not most, of you probably know if you've been around here for a while, is my favorite band of all time. That, paired with the fact that this is the first big event I'll be going to since I started my hot girl glow up last year has been making me a little insane lol.

August 19th, 2023, I saw Ghost live, which absolutely changed my life. I remember vividly I had just recently found out I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life, and as someone who's constantly had to deal with body dysmorphia for as long as I can remember, it really made my self esteem take a huge hit. I had this whole plan to dress up and be all hot and sexy for the concert, which I did, but all I could focus on was how much weight I had put on, it was super frustrating and if I hadn't gotten VIP passes I honestly might have gone home because I was just not feeling it. But, we went, I made it all the way up to the barrier. I had an amazing time flirting with Phantom and Sodo (I'm sure they weren't flirting back but I like to let my delusional little brain believe lol) and throughout the night my heart felt so full, it was amazing. There was one point Papa came out singing He Is (my personal favorite) and, again probably delusional but whatever, there was one point where he walked over to my side of the stage, and I was reaching out for him and our eyes met, he reached his hand back out to me and something in my head clicked... This man preaches about acceptance, treating others with kindness, would Papa treat me the same way I treated myself? The answer was absolutely the fuck not. So, from that point forward, I made a conscious decision to treat myself better, I wanted to become so hauntingly beautiful that I would be able to catch Papa's attention if I ever make it back to the barrier for one of their shows lol. That really started to ramp up when PW announced their US tour.

I bought these tickets in February, I fully stopped in the middle of whatever I was doing at the gym to go camp out in the locker room for the pre sale at like 9 in the morning, got the tickets for the front floor because my friends and I are once again trying to make it to the barrier, and went of my fucking God, Falk. In my mind, I had an end goal now.

From that point forward The Hot Girl Glow Up truly began. I'm down 40 lbs, I've put on a shit load of muscle from going to the gym a few times a week, I've recently picked up yoga and I LOVE IT! But, it went so much farther than just the weight loss. I've been a lot kinder to myself, I have a lot of things that happened to me in the past I still need to heal from, and that scared, hurt younger version of me is still trying to find a soft place to land in my mind so she can rest. And a big part of my journey so far is really getting to the root of why I'm holding all of these bad feelings towards myself, which has been its own web that needs to be carefully unwound. Because getting healthy and losing weight is great, but I don't want to get there by bullying myself. The body heals through compassion and stillness, we cannot heal a body we hate. That's something I picked up in yoga the other night, think I'm gunna keep that in my pocket for a bit.

I know I don't owe anyone any explanation for why it takes me so long to get updates out, but I'm not posting updates not because I don't want to, that's the farthest thing from the truth. To put it simply, I give a shit about myself now. I can't spend all day sitting in front of my computer, staring a blank screen, waiting for the ideas to come while I shove nothing but fast food in my face and don't take care of myself physically, mentally, or emotionally, that's where I was at before all of this. So, I do apologize for the lack of updates, I promise just because I've slowed down doesn't mean I'm stopping any time soon lol.

Hopefully after PW I'll be back to a more consistent schedule. Between all of my classes, and the gym, and work, and trying to sew the last part of my concert outfit and make jewelry, and do practice makeup, and hair trials, and meeting up with my friends to plan their outfits and makeup and so we can go shopping for all of this, I've just been very busy lol. But, the update is still coming, we just gotta get there!

[mdhwrites]

Choices is Back! What the fuck is Choices?

Does anyone remember about a month ago when I made A Galaxy of Choices Book One: The Living Planet free for a week? Well, that book was always intended to be the first of a bunch of books that are like it. Not just in the same series but in structure.

What do you mean by that?

What does that have to do with us?

The girl on that cover is hot.

There were others?

This isn't actually a list of ways this blog will go (though it will also cover three of those four) but how the structure was. See, this was my way of including chat while writing on stream. I would write a segment of the story, usually no longer than one thousand words (not by necessity, just by happenstance really) and then I would give a few options for everyone to choose from. They would leave comments on the document saying what they choose while I played a bit more of whatever game I was playing. All of those Hades 2 streams recently? That's been the game while I've also been working on this book.

I only get to see the result though when I finish playing the game. Then I look and I start writing within like... Five minutes. Tops. It's meant to be looser and little wilder than even my usual stuff but I've really liked how its come together so far.

So the point of this blog was essentially to let you know I've been doing this since I haven't made that very clear with my stream announcements. And for those going "Wait, did you stream writing smut on Twitch?" No. I actually moved to a website called Plexstorm for that... Which then promptly shut down. I now have one on Joystick.tv instead and whenever it gets too hot for Twitch, I'll move over there instead.

And of course: What types of stories are you doing right now? Well, I actually have two Choices books right now. The first is a sequel to A Galaxy of Choices so a somewhat pulpy, scifi romp with an old mercenary as its lead and pretty low on sex. The second is one I'm actually just beginning that's D&D themed where the dice are cursed and EVERYONE is getting corrupted. It's not going to actually be to the porn parts of it for a bit but once it does, it'll be hot, heavy and should be extremely silly.

If any of this sounds interesting to you, follow me over on Twitch.tv/MDHWrites and Joystick.tv/u/MDHWrites and/or just keep an eye out here for when I post when I'm going live. I'm hoping it keeps up for a while longer at least and that when this book is done, it doesn't take me another THREE. YEARS. to work on the next one. Thank you and see you next tale.

[starset21]

Chapter 7: Changing Perspectives

Standard Disclaimer: I only own my original characters, I've done some research but there will likely be Navy/military inaccuracies, and I do not consent to the posting, translating, or publishing of my work to any 3rd party site, the only place it may be found is on tumblr and Wattpad under @.itswildflower

Looking for the other chapters? U.S.S. Christmas Masterlist 

A/N: This story is heavily inspired by the hallmark movie of the same title and is very self-indulgent. I'm also trying a different format than I'm used to using so it may change in later chapters.

Summary: Kate finally tracks down Jonah and Dorothy

“Good Morning,” Jake greeted his father.

“Morning son. So... Kate told me that you had a great day in New York,” Ron started.

“Yeah, it was nice. We ended up at the train show.”

“The same one I took you to as a kid?”

Jake nodded.

“Oh!”

“Yeah. Brought back a lot of memories of Christmas. And memories of the divorce. You know, we never really talked about you leaving, pops. One day you just moved away and it was… The code of silence after that,” Jake confessed.

“I regret that. Somehow it just seemed easier to act like nothing happened,” Ron shook his head.

“I-I just... I didn't understand, especially at Christmas. I just wanted my dad,” Jake told him.

“I failed you. I failed your mom. But I want you to know how much I missed you. When you got older, why do you think I wanted you to be a pilot so bad?” he asked.

“To follow in your footsteps?” Jake guessed.

“To… To be close to you. You are the most important thing to me in my entire life, more important than any career,” Ron confessed.

“Your career is everything to you,” Jake pointed out incredulously.

“And I'm proud of my service and what I've accomplished. But nothing… Nothing holds a candle to my only son,” Ron finished.

“Thanks, pops.” 

“How's my Christmas story coming?” Kate’s editor in chief asked as soon as she got into the office.

“I'm still working on it, but I'm honestly not sure if it's gonna be done in time,” Kate told him.

“Well, I'm counting on this. You have till end of day, then I'm gonna have to go with something else,” he told her sternly.

Kate left his office with a frown and went to her desk, sitting down and putting her head in her hands. “I can't believe this. I finally have a heartwarming story worth telling, and I don't even know how to tell it. I… I don't know what else to do,” she lamented.

“Go get hot chocolate with me?” Abigail, her best friend asked.

“With marshmallows? Lots of marshmallows?” Kate asked sadly.

“As many as you want,” Abigail confirmed.

“Okay. Lets go,” she told her, standing up.

“So you can't find any record on Jonah William?” Abby asks as they get on the elevator.

“Oh, no, I found plenty, but none that match the age and profile of our pilot, its so frustrating. It's like he's a ghost or something,” Kate groaned.

“I can't believe it's this hard to find someone,” Abby commiserated.

“I know. It's a mystery,” Kate sighed.

“Sounds like you've had quite the adventure on that ship. By the way, whatever happened to Mr. Military man?”

Kate’s face heated. “We, um… We almost kissed,” she confessed.

“What?!” Abby nearly yelled.

“Abby! Shhhh. But it's not going anywhere,” she told her.

“Wait. A romance grounded before taking flight? Do you like him?” Abby pressed.

“Yes. But it's not that simple, Abby,” Kate told her.

“Just imagine the wedding! All those handsome groomsmen in uniform? With their swords? Your bridesmaids in peach? That is my color palette, by the way,” Abby smirked. 

“A wedding announcement!” Kate’s eyes snapped to Abby’s.

“I'm convincing, but…” Abby trailed off.

“No, no, maybe there's a wedding announcement for Jonah and Dorothy,” Kate started as the elevator door opened. “I don't know why I haven't thought about this before. You're on to something…” Kate trailed off as she spotted a familiar head of blonde hair. “Jake?”

Jake nodded to the woman at the reception desk and turned. “Can we talk?” he asked. 

“I hope it's okay I came to see you,” he said after they came to a stop in a park.

“Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything's good. Oh, I... I brought this for you. You know, just in case you find him,” he told her, pulling out the ornament that said ‘To Dorothy.’

“I... I can't believe you came all this way just to give me this,” Kate told him.

Jake’s adams apple bobbed before he spoke again. “You know, I… Really didn't want to say goodbye to you yesterday. When you left, it felt… It felt wrong. You know? Like I was losing something. I've fallen for you, Kayleigh Wells. And before you say anything, I know how you feel about what I do. The military life. But… I was just hopin' maybe I could take you out on a date. We can see where things go,” he explained. 

“Jake. What if one date turns into two, and then two dates turns into three, and… Look, if… If this goes somewhere, it's not gonna end well. So is it even worth taking that risk?”

“Remember when you asked me if I was ever scared when I'm flying, and I told you that I'm not scared of anything?”

Kate nodded.

“Well, the truth is… I'm scared of falling in love. But I'm willing to take that chance,” Jake told her.

“Jake... i-I'm so sorry. I can't…” she looked away from him.

“So is that it? Kayleigh, what if our whole lives have led up to this point? What if you and I found each other just like Jonah and Dorothy did?” Jake asks.

“I have to go back to work,” Kate told him, water beginning to line her eyes.

“Kate… I'm not gonna hurt you,” Jake says quietly.

Kate shakes her head. “You don't know that,” she told him before walking away yet again.

“He seems sweet,” Abby attempts to start the conversation when Kate returned.

“Yeah, he is, but romance grounded, remember?”

Abby frowned at her.

“Look. That's them. They were married on Christmas day in 1974. But their last name isn't William, it's Williams. They must have gotten it wrong on his file before the fire,” Kate told her, pointing her computer screen towards her friend. 

“Fire? Whatever. You're a genius. Keep going.”

“Last known address… Veterans home in Norfolk.” Kate picked up her phone and made a quick call.

“What did they say?” Abby asked when she hung up.

“They moved out a couple of years ago and they can't give me any information unless I'm family,” Kate sighed.

“So close! Wait. Look at that. The call sign painted on his plane. What does it say? "Picas... so"?” Abby pointed to a photo Kate had found.

“Picasso. That's funny,” Kate mused.

“What?” Abby asked.

“There's a diner I've been going to since I was a little girl, Picasso's diner. Do you think there could be a connection?” she asked her friend.

“It would be a Christmas miracle if there is. Go get 'em, Kate.” 

Kate quickly made her way to the old diner. “Hi, Sharon,” she greeted as she stepped inside the establishment.

“Kate! Your brother joining?” she asked.

“No, no, I'm not here to eat. No, I actually have a question about a story that I'm working on,” Kate told her.

“Is it about that bank president?” Sharon asked.

“No, not him. It's about a man named Jonah Williams, he was a pilot for the Navy, he married a woman named Dorothy?”

“Yes, Joe, he owned the diner. He sold it about 25 years ago. I worked for him as a teenager,” Sharon told her.

“Any idea where he is now?”

“No, but I do believe that he has a daughter in Virginia beach. Lily is her name,” Sharon told her.

“Sharon, you are amazing, I'll see you on Christmas day!” Kate exclaimed before heading back to the office.

Kate couldn't help the smile that was growing on her face as she heard the words spoken on the other end of the phone.

“Okay! Thanks! Okay, that sounds great. I'll see you tomorrow,” Kate hung up and threw her hands up in the air out of excitement. Abby sent her a questioning look.

“I did it! I found Jonah and Dorothy. They live with their daughter now, I'm heading to go see them tomorrow,” Kate told her.

“That's great!” Abby exclaimed. 

The next morning Kate knocked on the hardwood door of the Williams residence.

“Kate?” the daughter Lily asked.

“Yeah! Hi! Merry Christmas,” Kate greeted.

“Merry Christmas. They're on the back porch, come on in.”

“Okay, thank you.” Kate stepped through the front door and followed Lily through the house.

“Come on in. Mom, dad, this is Kate from the Norfolk register,” Lily introduced.

“Hi! Lily told us about this story you're working on,” Dorothy smiled.

“Yeah. Yes, it's just, oh, your life, it's so exciting. Do you mind if I record this?” Kate asked, taking a seat across from them.

“By all means. But I don't know what all the fuss is about,” Jonah laughed.

“Well, from what I could tell, Mr. and Mrs. Williams, you just have such an incredible story. Now, tell me… What happened after the tiger cruise, how did you win over Dorothy?” Kate asked.

“Well, her brother told me where the dance studio was, so after we docked, I drove seven hours to find her in New York City,” he started.

“He made it in the Nick of time. Practically had to duel the doctor I was seeing. I wasn't sure about that guy. But there was something about Joe. So I ended my relationship, and after a few dates, I knew. He was the one,” Dorothy chimed in.

“We got engaged shortly after, and we were gonna wait to get married until after I got out of the service. But then I got called back to Vietnam,” Joe sighed.

“I told him I would wait as long as it took. I just didn't realize how long it would be,” Dorothy added.

At Kate’s questioning look Jonah picked up the story.

“My plane got shot down in Vietnam and, well, the next seven years I was a pow,” he told her.

“I had kept hope alive. But then when the war ended, two officers walked up the driveway, and I thought for sure Joe had died. Instead they said he was alive! I fell on the ground crying. It was the greatest moment of my life,” Dorothy told her.

“What gave you the strength to not give up on him?” Kate asked.

“I prayed every night that he'd come home. He had to. He's my one true love, after all,” Dorothy told her.

“Okay, and, let's see. How did you end up at the diner?” Kate asked Joe.

“Well, I was an artist. That's why the guys gave me the call sign "Picasso." They were always teasing me because whenever I wasn't flying, I was sketching. But I couldn't make any money in art, so I opened the diner. But it's amazing that you figured this all out,” he told her.

“Oh. Well, uh… It was tricky with your last name having two spellings,” Kate chuckled. 

“Oh, yeah. The Navy messed that up. They left off the "s," and I just left it as "William." I finally got it corrected to Williams when I came home from Vietnam,” Jonah informed her.

“And do you two have any more children?” she asked.

“We have two older sons in the marines corps, five grandchildren. And they're coming to visit today!” Dorothy exclaimed.

“How were you okay with just uprooting your life like that for Jonah, for the Navy?” Kate asked.

“Easiest decision of my life,” Dorothy said immediately. “It didn't matter. Joe was my home. Wherever we went, all I needed was him. And I had the kids and my dance career, which always kept me very busy.”

“You know, the U.S.S Polaris is named after the north star. It's the way sailors have been finding their way home for centuries. And in this case, it led me to Dorothy,” Jonah told her and Kate nodded.

“Actually, I have something for you,” Kate told them, pulling a tin that she had placed the ornament in out of her bag and opening the lid. “I think this belongs to you,” she offered it to them.

“Oh! I don't believe it! Joe, look! It's the star you made for me,” Dorothy smiles, looking at him.

“Where did you find this?” he asked as Dorothy carefully pulled the ornament out of the tin.

“A pilot I know, he found it in an old box on the ship,” Kate told them.

“It's a symbol of our everlasting love. Thank you. Did this pilot help you track us down?” Dorothy asked.

Kate nodded.

“Well, please... thank him. For us,” Jonah smiled almost knowingly.

“Oh, I will. He's… He's a wonderful man,” Kate tells them.