#there is no change. i dont get better i just keep getting worse. lmao!

[butchvamp]

sigh

[risingsunresistance]

consider me on hiatus for a week unless we get skyblock news or something, i dont feel like being social here

[29121996]

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[angelwishess]

𝜗𝜚 Floyra Intro Post !

❝Because theres no one on the land or in the sea more in sync than those two.❞

|| playlist. || moodboard. || pinterest quotes. || pinterest board. || (<- in the “Dynamic w Floyd” section!)

Floyra is the ship of my main oc, Kyra and Floyd! Kyra is my Yuusona twisted from the Disney Princess Stereotype.

This intro post is just to graph out the timeline and details of their relationship. Funfacts at the end :3 (Fair warning though, this ended up being SUPER long… So feel free just to skip to the funfacts if you want HAHAHA)

Please note I may or may not have changed some things in the canon storyline for my own amusement hehe. Nothing too major though.

Tropes :

Idiots to Lovers, Bestfriends to Lovers, Soulmates, literally the DENSEST people ever … Actually they’re more like cowards. Mutual pining, mutual SIMPING they ADORE eachother they are absolutely WHIPPED, chaotic lovey dovey couple, tooth-rotting fluff, no i mean seriously this is the fluffiest ship EVER, they make eachother both better and worse simultaniously. They share the same braincell. Basically already a couple before they even start dating but they dont realize it.

Kyra: “What?? Ofc we’re not dating lmao wdym we’re just friends!!” <- just held his face tenderly and looked into his eyes adoringly while calling him the prettiest boy in the world and kissing his face all over

Floyd: “yeah lol why would u think that” <- arm around her waist, basically always looking at her with a dopey grin and heart eyes

First Impressions

When Floyd heard that there was an unexpected appearance of a magicless student at the entrance ceremony that blazed in with a flaming fire tanuki and set fire to the mirror chamber, he was intrigued. When he learned that very same student was, quite literally, from an entirely different world, he was even more intrigued.

Not to mention the fact she lived in that rundown, deteriorating 'dorm' that was literally called Ramshackle, and she was almost expelled with two other guppies on the very first day of school.

But, when he saw her for himself he was... Disappointed.

Often times she just stood by the sidelines, seemingly in her own world with a far-off look in her eyes and an empty smile that ticked him off for no apparent reason.

She never reacted to anything, letting people walk over her like some sort of welcome mat. Somehow, she didn't even feel alive.

To put it bluntly— Floyd thought she was boring.

Just a wimpy, puny little shrimp who didn't even have any magic. Who wouldn't even run away if her life was on the line, weak and defenseless. Naive. How boring, and here he thought he had another play thing... But wheres the fun if he doesn't get a reaction out of it? How lame.

Kyra and Floyd only officially met during book 2.

Kyra passed by Floyd a bunch of times before— but never actually ‘saw’ him. Floyd on the other hand, already had an opinion of Kyra.

Seeing her just simply standing by the sidelines again and saying nothing and just… Staring. He decided to finally approach her straight up.

Deciding to give her a squeeze for the fun of it— he didn’t expect at all for her to hug him back and basically turn the situation on him instead. It flustered him, and made him walk away from the whole scene out of confusion and embarrassment.

Despite everything, Kyra thought Floyd was amusing. and insanely pretty.

Building Interest …

As time passed they seemed to keep catching glimpses of eachother. And with each passing day, she seemed to get more and more... Interesting.

Facing overblots despite having no magic, causing trouble left and right and getting into such ridiculous situations it makes you wonder how she does everything she does without getting tired of how absurd it all is.

When his first impression of her was her being ‘boring', his second was her being naive. How else could you explain it? She had to be either ridiculously brave or incredibly stupid and naive to do the things that she does.

Kyra and Floyd don’t have any notable interactions until the main events of Book 3.

When Kyra decided to strike up a deal with Azul to free all of the students under a contract— Floyd thought she was stupid. Naive, and way too easy of a target. It was laughable. It basically confirmed everything he thought of her.

As Floyd and Jade were monitoring Kyra and Grim as they packed up their things, Kyra acted as if nothing major was happening. Talking to them and cracking jokes like they were old friends. It was then Floyd and Kyra found out they might be more similar than they thought, saying the same things at the same time and holding the same opinions.

When Kyra almost dropped a bag of her things, Floyd helped from impulse. He laughed it off, but Kyra decided to give him a kiss on the cheek as a ‘thank you’.

He froze in place. Not expecting that kind of reaction from her once again, and just kind of… Staring at her as she passed. Jade had another laugh at his brother.

When Kyra first saw Floyd in his merform, he took the chance to try and scare her a little. Just for fun. But just like before— it totally backfired, and Kyra just looked at her with the same wonder as she did the first time. She had the nerve to call him ‘Beautiful’ under her breath, too.

So, Floyd simply swam away after realizing she wasn’t going to give him the reaction he wanted, deciding to play with someone who will.

But when he tried to attack a nearby friend of hers— She punched him straight in the face! A fire burning in her eyes as she straight up threatened him.

Floyd was… Confused. Confused about Kyra, i mean. One moment she was staring at him like he was a of work of art, the next shes throwing hands at him with zero hesitation. He thought she was a pushover— but maybe he was wrong.

She had guts, though. Thats for sure. A magicless little thing like her deciding to put her hands up and fight, even threatening him? A 13ft long eelmer that could rip her apart without a sweat? Something about it.. Scared him a little. Ending up with a bloodied nose, staring down someone who didn’t show any fear or any regret.

Floyd always wanted a challenge. But did he expect that challenge to come in a 5’7 package, decorated with pretty pink bows? No, not at all.

But thats something. And boy, does Floyd love the thrill of the unexpected. After this interaction that past intrigue he had in her before came back 2 times stronger.

It only worsened when Kyra’s little plan to destroy Azul’s contracts actually worked… And Floyd got chills seeing the look on her face.

It was so unlike what he thought of her. A big, smug grin. The face of someone who knows they already won. It was almost malicious. And it was then he realized— she wasn’t as dumb or as naive as he thought she was, either.

But when they got back to the Lounge, it so happened that Leona seemed to have missed one, single contract. When they spotted it, Kyra was the first to react. Managing to grab it before Azul.

Azul wasn’t too happy about it, screeching and yelling for her to give it to him, grabbing her while doing so.

And in that moment of tension, of fear and action, she did something that shocked everyone. In the face of danger, she held the sole contract tightly in her hands and she—

…She ate the contract.

She shoved the glowing papering in her mouth, and swallowed the thing. And it worked. Honestly they didn’t know which was more ridiculous… Her decision, or the fact it was a success.

She grinned so widely, so proudly. She had the nerve to even laugh in Azul’s face. “Yeah, thats right! Screw you, octoboy!”

Floyd couldn’t surpress the laughter that bubbled up his throat watching it all go down. The sound of her laugh ringing in his ears. It was just so… Ridiculous. She was ridiculous.

She had just outsmarted Azul… And the best solution she could think of was to eat the contract? It was downright cartoonish!

But when Azul overblotted, Floyd got to see Kyra in action. He was surprised all over again. But he should be used to it by now, he should expect it. She just keeps surprising him.

She was no pushover— rising up to the challenge when needed. Even if she still acted unserious, even if she acted goofy and wild, she still got down to business and made it work nonetheless.

And he realized she wasn’t anything like what he thought of her before. She was… Nothing like what he thought. Always surpassing his expectations of her no matter how much they changed.

Everytime he thought he had her figured out, she goes and does something that makes him rethink it all over again…

She was very, very interesting. And now, shes got his full attention.

Strangers to Besties!

After the main events of Book 3, Floyd had started following around Kyra more often. Actually, scratch that. He started following her around constantly. She eventually apologized for punching him in the face, too. Surprisingly.

Realizing they were actually very similar, they began hanging out more and more, until they eventually became an inseperable duo that everyone knew about.

At first, most were surprised. Kyra had only just started coming out of her shell, so most were still under the impression she was a sweet, mild mannered young girl.

But after befriending Floyd— all of her self-control truly did go flying out of the window. If she was bad before, she was even worse now. Freely skipping classes more often without a care to go find Floyd, trying to juggle live fish in the courtyard, or jumping out of a window just to escape some of the staff. and the like.

Late night adventures, dancing in the rain, sneaking out of class, spontaneous hang outs and sleepovers, pulling pranks and causing trouble left and right… They were so in sync, its was scary. Kyra was almost like a second Floyd, and everyone knew that it was probably best to run in the other direction when you see them side by side.

No matter what the situation, they always had eachother’s back, too.

It was strange to think they were ever strangers. They felt like they’ve known eachother for years— thats how well they’ve grown to know eachother. They were as thick as thieves!

Hanging out everyday, whenever they could, they just had so much fun together all the time!

To everyone’s dismay, of course. They were far too in sync, if the chaos around one of them was bad it combined when they were together.

Floyd finally found someone who could keep up with him, and even better, keep him on his toes. Kyra surprised him everyday, and thats what he loved. He found someone who understood him, too.

Kyra on the otherhand, found someone who encouraged all of her once repressed desires. She found someone she could be herself with, with no fear of judgement.

Never one without the other, those two. Wherever Kyra was Floyd was surely close to follow, and wherever Floyd was Kyra was most definetly near. They followed eachother around, always stayed close to one another.

Slowly, they’ve grown to not only seek eachother out to go and have fun, but also for comfort.

Platonic ..?

What started as a simple friendship which focused on the high of ‘having fun’ and causing trouble, or just basically being partners in crime— slowly turned into something much more… Intimate.

When Floyd stormed all the way to Ramshackle after a bad day at Mostro Lounge, he didn’t really know what to expect, he just wanted to get away from everyone else and Ramshackle was the best place he could think of.

He didn’t expect Kyra to be so caring. Pulling him into her arms and running her fingers through his hair while encouraging him to rant.

Kyra had always been an affectionate person, he knew that. It started small— little kisses on the cheek and forehead from Kyra to him, hugs and the like. But this was different. It felt different, atleast.

The way she held him felt different, and the way her lips gently kissed his skin made all of the stress from before sizzle into nothing.

He couldn’t help but melt, and before they knew it this became a routine for them, too.

They grew to find themselves comfortable being vulnerable around eachother. Showing sides of themselves to eachother most wouldn’t see. And they knew eachother better than anyone else did.

Simple, friendly touches became something more. The playful wrap of Floyd’s arm around her waist became tighter, and Kyra’s touches on him lingered for longer. Suddenly the playful ‘I Love You’s didn’t seem platonic anymore— atleast not with the way they looked at eachother while they said it.

Simply seeking eachother out to go cause chaos turned into seeking eachother out to just simply be in eachother’s presence instead. Whatever activity they did started to come second, and as long as they were together they were as happy as could be.

Of course, they never recognized this change. In their point of view, they’ve always been like this. But everyone else can see as plain as day, that something definetly changed.

It was painful for everyone involved, really. For some reason neither of them seemed to acknowledge the obvious feelings between eachother.

Everyone could see the way they looked at eachother, the way they acted around eachother… Everything was so painfully blatant… But they still couldn’t admit it. Even when the lines between friendship and intimacy began to blur.

Realizations!

Nothing about their relationship really changed at this point. They just kind of realized their romantic feelings after being deep in denial for WAYY too long.

The first to realize their feelings was actually Kyra, believe it or not. Which is funny because shes never been the best at realizing her own emotions in general.

She was definetly panicked about it, and decided to not say a word of it to anyone. She didn’t want to ruin the friendship they had, after all he was her dearest friend. So she kept her mouth shut and continued on pretending like it was nothing.

She felt selfish having such feelings. She felt as if she didn’t deserve him, like he deserved better than her because she grew up thinking she must be unlovable. And so she kept quiet for the sake of him, too. She thought it was best for the both of them. (<- LIARRRRR!!!!!!)

Floyd realized a little later, it kind of just hit him one day. They weren’t doing anything in particular, he just looked at her and went “Oh. Ohhh.”

Like a lightbulb went off in his head. He didn’t say anything about it either for awhile. Eels are cowards, after all. And he didn’t know if she felt the same. So he just decided to act like nothing happened, continued this routine of theirs that they’ve grown attatched to.

Maybe there were afew times where they wanted to say something about it, to finally admit the unspoken thoughts they’ve had kept in the back of their minds… But they never go through with it. Always backing out last minute, brushing it off.

The two were cowards, dancing around their mutual feelings. Unsure of how the other felt, so they decided to just leave it all unsaid. Even if the look in their eyes said otherwise.

Saying they were just “best friends” was just so much easier. It was what they were used to, what they were comfortable with. It was easier to brush it all off as them being comfortable eachother, sharing beds and exchanging gentle touches. It was all platonic, of course!

…Though Floyd was hesitant with his own feelings. He never expected to find someone that captured his interest so much… Yet he wondered, was he ready to commit?

Strangely, there was no doubt in his mind. It was yes, it always was, yes. The moment he asked himself that question he answered it immediately at the same time.

Of course, because he realized if it was Kyra, there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do. Man, when did he get so whipped for such a silly shrimpy?

Merfolk only choose one mate for life. And Floyd is sure he wanted his to be Kyra.

He was scared of course after realizing his own feelings. Besides Azul and Jade, he's never let anyone get this close to him. It was strange letting Kyra in like this. He didn't plan on her, not at first at least. but now that he has her, he wants to keep her forever.

Man, she just kept surprising him, huh? He never even thought he could feel so deeply for someone. But hes so glad that he found her, that they found eachother.

Difficulties…

When Kyra left with Epel, Rook and Elena during Book 6, Floyd was upset.

Thats an understatement, really. He was furstrated, worried, and somehow he even felt betrayed.

Why didn’t she tell him? Why didn’t she take him with her? Doesn’t she know its dangerous? Whats a shrimpy like her gonna do, huh?

He knows Kyra can take care of herself, he knows shes capable and he knows she can defend herself. But that doesn’t stop him from worrying.

Throughout the span that shes gone Floyd is restless. Hes snappier, hes moodier and he cant seem to stop pacing around no matter how hard he tries.

But when Kyra gets back— he completely ignores her.

Kyra was so very confused. Actually, everyone was. This was a first for the two of them. Honestly, Kyra expected him to run towards her just like he always does. But he doesn’t.

Kyra is back, but that doesn’t change his mood. If anything, it worsens. And Kyra doesn’t have a clue why! Everytime she tries to approach him, he just turns his heel and walks away. And hes never looked at her like… that..

Kyra is a total mess. And suddenly shes not as good as keeping her real feelings at bay like she usually is. She wondered if she did something wrong? Said something wrong? Was he finally sick of her? And that was when she realized— she was terrified of the thought of losing him.

In desperation she went to Jade. Maybe she should’ve asked Elena for advice instead, but before she knew it she was sat infront of Jade, asking for help with his brother.

If anything, Jade seemed amused with her situation. Of course he did. But with a mischevious twinkle in his eye, she had a feeling he had a scheme brewing up in his head.

Maybe she should’ve known better than to trust Jade… But she didn’t really have a choice, or so she thought as much.

Something about this situation felt so… Deliberate. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it seemed like he knew she’d come to him for help sooner or later.

After giving Kyra some advice and words of encouragement, he did something rather out of character of him. Bringing into a hug, he held her rather close to himself.

Kyra didn’t really notice this, and accepted the hug with no hesitation. Wrapping her arms around him and sighing as she melted into the well-needed hug.

Little did she know, Jade’s eyes were glued onto his brother’s figure, looming by the doorframe with a scowl on his face. It made Jade chuckle, deciding to tighten her arms around Kyra juust a little more to see what he’d do.

Of course, Floyd wasn’t happy about it. Now, Floyd is not a jealous person by any means. He has better things to focus on, other things to keep him entertained. But at moments like these, when hes already in a bad mood, he can’t help that primal instict, its in his blood after all. A moray is a moray.

Tearing her away from Jade, he drags her to somewhere else. Leaving a very amused Jade watching them leave.

And so, an argument occurs !!! Its a back and forth, Floyd mad about what he just saw, Kyra trying to explain the situation then her getting mad at him back for avoiding her like the plague.

It ended up with Floyd admitting he was mad because she didn’t tell him about her going with them, but at the same time he was mad at himself for not being able to be with her then.

Kyra realizes that, yeah, she probably shouldve let him know she was going. But she couldn’t just brush off the fact he hurt her by doing what he did, shes grown enough as a person at this point to not let her own feelings go unheard.

Reconcilliation!!! They both apologize and promise to do better, and what better way to catch up on lost time than a sleepover??

Best believe that after they made up, they went back to their normal selves as if nothing happened— actually, maybe even worse with how much clingier they are. They seriously missed eachother, seeing how much they stuck together. 😭

��Home”?

When Kyra got news of the possibility of finding a way back to her home she was in shambles. So very conflicted between the place she called home and the place she felt was home.

She knew she had to leave some day. She knew this freedom she had was temporary. She knew one day, she’d have to go back to the life she grew to despise, the life that was never hers.

She didn’t want to leave, though. Of course she didn’t. But still, she didn’t really have a choice.

She decided she wouldn’t do the same mistake and leave Floyd out of the loop. If anyone deserves to know first, its probably him.

And so, while theyre sitting on the rooftop of Ramshackle she mentions it. And Floyd is… Upset. Of course he is. Hes beyond upset, really. He just got his best friend back, now hes hearing she might be going away again? For good? Forever?

No way. He couldnt accept that, there was no way he could. But before he could even say anything— Kyra spoke first.

“I don’t want to go back. I really, really don’t.”

“…You don’t? Huh? Why?” There was a wave of relief that crashed over Floyd when he heard those words fall from her lips, his eyes glued onto the girl beside him. Hanging onto every word she says. “No. Its just… Its not my home, atleast not anymore. I dont think it is.”

“I think, this is my home now.” She chuckles, eyes glued down to the ground below. “…Because you’re here.” She says, turning to look at him. She spoke in that tone that she only used behind closed doors. When no one was looking. That soft, sweet voice she used whenever she carded her fingers through his hair and whispered sweet nothings to him until he fell asleep. It wasn’t unauthetic like the voice she used when they first met— no, it was genuine. Real. Full of adoration, of fondness. Her gaze held so much love.

“…Hah, what’re you gettin’ all sappy for, Sea Angel? Thats so cringe.” He laughed, but his heart soared. Even if it was cheesey, he couldnt help but swoon with just the way she looked at him. Like he was the most beautiful thing in the world. She always said he was the prettiest boy in the world.

She moved forward, her face leaning ever so close to his, so close he could see every line and curve of her features. He laughed at first, “Hey, what’cha tryna do, huh? What? Do I have somethin’ on my face?” He joked, but she didn’t respond. It looked like she was thinking, like she was deep in thought. “…Kyra?”

Her name left his lips for what was the first time. Hanging in the air like a silent prayer of longing, of want. And her own lips met his. Capturing it in a sweet, sudden kiss.

Time seemed to have stopped. It always felt like that when they were together, but this was different. Nothing could prepare him for that— hell, he didn’t even get the chance to kiss her back, the moment felt as if it went on forever but it was over too quickly all the same.

There was a flash of realization on Kyra’s face as her cheeks flushed a red that could rival Riddle on a rampage. Stumbling and stuttering, she couldn’t handle the embarrassment, and before he could even say anything she ran away. Leaving him on the rooftop, wide eyes and a stomach full of butterflies.

Yeah. Kyra is really stupid sometimes.

After that whole thing, she ran to Leona to let out her thoughts. He listened, though he said he ‘didn’t have a choice anyway’.

“So… You kissed him then you just.. Ran? Seriously?” “I PANICKED!!!”

Floyd and Kyra don’t really interact until Malleus’ overblot. And during the time they’re in Floyd’s dream, shes hoping he doesn’t bring up what happened at the rooftop.

Confession!

The confession takes a long, LOONG time. Im talking probably around book 7 or later. Probably when Kyra confirmed that shes staying in Twisted Wonderland. (Everyone thank Papa Crewel, he sorted out her documents for her :33)

Hehe because eels are cowards and they dont take the shot unless theyre sure it’s a winner. So he waits, and waits some more. And of course, that kiss was the sign he needed to finally just go for it.

Eventually, Floyd does confess. Although I still haven’t thought of the details— it does go something like this.

When Kyra at first laughs at him thinking it was a joke, he got annoyed. He didn’t think this was funny, and after seeing the serious look on his face she stopped immediately.

After realizing he was being genuine, she started straight up BAWLING. Sobbing, because she couldn’t believe someone could ever love her the way she is.

Shes deemed herself as unlovable so very long ago, she didnt expect the person she adored so much to ever love her back. She felt selfish, wanting to accept his feelings. But she wanted to be selfish at that moment.

Floyd has never been one to comfort people. He was never the best at it, but if its her, he’ll try. He always does. It was weird, but if it was her he always found himself doing things he’d never thought he’d do for someone else.

When Kyra started rambling about all of the reasons he “shouldn’t” love her, he started talking about why he loved all of those sides of her. Kissing away her tears n’ all. AUAUAUUUGGHHHH

It was honestly super emotional ESPECIALLY for Kyra, but she of course accepts the confession and they FINALLY KISS PROPERLY OH MY GOD THANK U !! ROUND OF APPLAUSE !!!!!!!

Floyd also calls Kyra by her actual name instead of ‘Shrimpy’ or ‘Sea Angel’ during this confession :3

“Its About Time!”

Honestly, nothing much changes after they confess.

Sure it takes some time to get used to them being officially a couple, but they’re still mostly the same.

However, I’d like to think that they just… Don’t mention it to anyone. Not because they’re keeping their relationship a secret, they just ?? Dont ???? Because they’re weird like that idk and its funny to me

For awhile no one actually knows they’re dating, and one day when someone comments on how they really should just suck it up and start dating they’re like “oh, lol we already are” “WHAT—“

Floyd definetly brags about Kyra a lot though 😭😭 and Kyra does the same… theyre both so down bad its SICKENING.

Funfacts!

Floyd was kind of scared of Kyra for a little while LMAOO 😭 shes a little TOO freaky …

Floyd has stayed over at Ramshackle so much that he’s has a bunch of stuff over there. An extra toothbrush, some changes of clothes, you name it. Its probably there. You can bet Floyd just lets himself into Ramshackle all the time, sometimes even in the middle of the night. But Kyra is always so chill about it 😭 (only because its Floyd HEHE)

Before they even started dating— behind closed doors they already acted like an old married couple 😭

Kyra and Floyd are lowkey super domestic behind closed doors, especially after a sleepover. Waking the other up with kisses ….. Helping eachother get ready for the day, helping eachother get dressed … Cooking together …….. theyre so sickening …………

Even if they aren’t with eachother all the time, they still manage to include eachother in their lives somehow. Whenever they go off on a solo-adventure, they always come back with some sort of trinket that reminded them of the other.

Speaking of, they’re both avid collectors of anything they deem cool enough. Random rocks, acorns, a lost penny, you name it. They like to show eachother the things they found throughout the day to eachother!

They have this silly little game Kyra started. She began hiding little sticky notes with sweet messages or a doodle and sometimes gifts in places she knows Floyd will find, and he’s started doing the same thing. Ever since then, its kind of become more like a competition on who can find the most sticky notes 😭

Kyra gets cuteness aggression from Floyd. Yeah thats it.

^^ she genuinely believes hes the cutest thing ever. Whatever u say queen!!!!

Floyd loves giving Kyra random gifts out of nowhere. The gifts can range from ‘a cool rock’ to a designer jacket. Kyra doesnt know which she prefers HAHAHA

Kyra herself prefers handmade gifts, so she loves to make Floyd pieces of jewelry and clothing! Shes always so proud whenever she sees him wearing something she made :3

Floyd and Kyra have been kicked out of class several times for laughing too hard.

They admitted to eachother before they even started dating that they couldn’t imagine their life without the other… can they pls take the hint omg

Floyd always feels super bad whenever he loses control of his temper around Kyra. One time he snapped at her, and he immediately apologized 😭 he told her to slap him if he ever did that again, hugged her so tight too and Kyra honestly found it so cute 😭

Floyd always perks up whenever he realizes Kyra is close by, always running straight to her. Kyra does the same thing and quite literally jumps into his arms.

Both Kyra and Floyd’s main love language is physical touch!! But Kyra loves to compliment him all the time, and Floyd loves gift giving :3

Kyra always greets Floyd with a kiss on the cheek. Yeah she started doing this before they were event dating im afraid ….

Kyra and Floyd love to read together at night, though Kyra usually falls asleep first AHAHAHA

But !! Kyra is also the first to wake up more often than not, and always wakes Floyd up with butterfly kisses on his face :3

Floyd convinced Azul to add some of Kyra’s favorite foods to the menu of Mostro Lounge just to get her to come visit more often

Kyra fights anyone that bad-mouths Floyd. Floyd doesnt know whether to find it cute or annoyed that she keeps getting herself hurt 😭

^^ SPEAKING OF, Kyra literally unlocked a much more caring side of Floyd with her being so accident-prone 😭 girlie got herself injured so much FLOYD had to step in smh …

Floyd is the kinda guy to carry Kyra if her feet started to hurt while walking or if she sprains an ankle teehee

They’re both banned from an arcade in town after they broke a claw machine and stole all the plushies inside. And other things but that isnt as important.

When Floyd feels like hanging out with her, he’ll look for her around campus then just throw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes then just walks away. Kyra never struggles or objects and kind of just … accepts her fate 😭

Rambling…

Kyra grew up thinking the love she received will always be conditional. That she always needed to live up to some sort of expectation, and so she created a ‘perfect’ persona in order to do just that.

She still keeps that persona from the Prologue to Book 1, but begins to break away from it during Book 2– but while in her past she was only loved for the version of herself she created for others— it was the opposite with Floyd.

He disliked her so-called ‘persona’, but fell so deeply in love with her real self.

^^ she was very confused, yet so very happy.

Floyd never expected to ever love or care about someone so deeply, but at the same time he can’t imagine anything he wouldn’t do for Kyra.

Floyd thinks everything is fun as long as Kyra is with him <3

Kyra only ever started showing her more vulnerable side to Floyd during her character development. He was the very first to ever see her break away from the unbothered act she always put on.

Floyd was never one to let himself be so soft and vulnerable around anyone, ever. But strangely, he lets his guard down around Kyra. Kyra knows of the much gentler side to him, and she adores it so very much.

Kyra is extremely understanding and patient of Floyd and his mood swings. She knows he’d never intentionally hurt her, and always knows just how to cheer him up. Whether with a silly joke, a spontaneous adventure or just lying in bed with him in her arms.

Kyra trusts Floyd with her LIFE. She trusts him so much its ridiculous. No matter what the situation, she always feels like she can rely on him… But she wont trust him with her food. Or her plushies.

Extra: Incorrect Quotes (?)

I have more on my 🎀! twst shennanigans tag lol

[tteokdoroki]

aali………please please tell us exactly what Rin said about Isagi not being able to fuck that had Egoist Yoichi baby boy fuck reader right in front of Rin 😭 i KNEED to know I must know babes or I’ll go insane

*ੈ🌩️‧₊˚—  lost in the lights, out of my mind + yoichi isagi, rin itoshi.

૮˶ᵕ ༝ᵕ˶ა synopsis — rin itoshi has a bad habit of dishing out what he can't take and a locker room fight with his rival, yoichi isagi, leaves him in the most vulnerable place he'll ever be in. all because of his little unrequited crush on you.

⭑ warnings — please read + mdni ! heavy!smut, porn with some kind of plot, characters aged up to 20s, established relationships (with isagi), unrequited love (rin lmao), some crushing, manipulaton, reverse cuckholding (?), voyuerism, unprotected s!ex, clothed s!ex, fingering (f!receiving), finger sucking, nipple play, body worship, dry humping, multiple orgasms, male masturbation, overstimulation, edging, orgasm control, aftercare, light!degradation, light!dacryphilia, light!sub/dom dynamics, sort of a threesome, creampies, psychologically tormenting rin lmao!!! pro player!yoichi isagi, pro player!rin itoshi, fem!reader - not beta read !

⭑ words — 8.5K.

⭑ notes — happy birthday tew me!! this is my gift to you all, i feel like its such a tradition for me to post something on my bday like i have for the last three years so here you are!! anon, i am so sorry this took so long, i hope you like this... i lost my mind writing it but it was sososo much fun!! enjoy my loves <3 m.list / fic that this refers to (you dont need to read it to understand!) ✩

if there’s one thing rin hates more than anything, it’s losing. after a sour defeat, three goals to a frustrating two, emotions are running high and the locker room fills with an atmosphere so tense even a butcher's knife couldn’t cut through it. it suffocates the boys as they flood into the room, defeatedtly shoving their cleats and water bottles into their cubbyholes — their breathing ragged and muscles aching. 

the silence is shattered by a vicious snarl from blue lock’s main star, yoichi isagi, as he walks in last and heads straight for his rival. “way to fucking go, rin! your stupid little act just cost us the entire game.” the striker bares his fangs, frothing like a rabid dog. “you happy now?” 

“oh fuck you, isagi. were all your shots supposed to be that half-assed? or was that just a weak attempt to impress your little girlfriend up in the stands.” rin fires back, equally as riled up, throwing his sweat soaked shirt into his designated cubby for this game. 

the rest of the team knows not to intervene when two of their best players go head to head, slowly retreating to the showers and changing out of their kit. rin is too highly strung, everything is his way or the highway and everyone is beneath him. isagi is hot headed, switches up on you faster than you can say your own name — and only gets worse if you mention his girlfriend during a fight. 

for a moment, the dark haired striker’s face falls and his deep blue eyes cloud with something rin itoshi only ever sees on the pitch. but isagi quickly recovers, offering the other player a tight lipped smile. 

“let’s keep her out of this, yeah?”

that only makes rin want to double down. 

his relationship with isagi is complex — he’s better than the guy in every way he knows is possible, and yet he envies him. no matter what rin does, his fellow player will always have some kind of leverage over him. whether it be sae’s approval, ego’s favouritism, you. the history between the three of you is even more confusing and flustering, and to this day, rin still doesn’t know who he wants or hates more. jealousy reaches its boiling point at  the forefront of his mind, it’s perplexing and he hates the way it makes him feel — like he’s out of the loop, out of control and it only makes rin want to lash out at isagi more.

so he does. 

he pokes and prods at isagi, twists at the parts of him that really set him off because he has no other way to cope and no other outlet for his build up of emotions. 

“she must be embarrassed,” rin drawls as if he’s enjoying taunting his teammate, though his face shows no signs of it. “to have a boyfriend who can’t even play soccer without looking luke-warm or mediocre. this is your job. your life. and yet, you’re still not getting it. you’re nowhere near being on the same level as me.” 

isagi grits his teeth. “i’m warning you, rin. quit while you’re ahead.” 

but he can’t, he won’t. not until he makes isagi hurt the same way he does. for losing this match, for losing control.

“if soccer is your life and you’re this bad at it, then i wonder what else you suck at,” the younger itoshi brother adds coldly with the petulance of a child still learning how to navigate how he feels. standing up to his full height, rin smirks as if he’s finally put his enemy into place. he lets his emotions spill into every word he says until they weigh down his tongue and all he can spit out are phrases of malice. “being a good boyfriend? fucking her right?” 

satisfaction curls around rin’s beating heart as isagi looks to him; wide eyed and bewildered. there’s nothing like reminding someone where they belong in the food chain. beneath rin itoshi and never above. isagi flounders like a fish before him, searching for words of defence that never come and when rin thinks that the shorter of the two might finally say something — the door to the locker room creaks open and in comes…

you.

if there’s another thing that rin hates, it’s how weak you make him feel — especially when he knows that you’re out of reach. not his to touch. to hold. to keep. you can’t be the reason he feels so open an exposed, like a patient on an examiners table, because he can’t have feelings for you anymore, because you belong to isagi. your heart beats for him and that makes rin sick. 

he wants to hate you, even though you’re sweet and kind and understanding. even though you step into the room wearing isagi’s number with doe eyes that glisten underneath the white artificial light. even though your voice fills him with warmth when you call out for your boyfriend (not him) and say. “yoichi, is everything okay?” in that mawkish tone that sends shivers down the length of rin’s spine. 

and like he’s been snapped out of a trance, isagi looks away from rin’s face and searches for comfort in your own — his body instinctively gravitating towards you for affection. “yeah precious, what are you doing here?” he grins at you like he wasn’t just about to rip rin’s throat out with his teeth. “thought i was meeting you outside.” 

“yeah but…some of the other boys and your manager got worried that something was happening between you and rin, so i came to check on you…i hope that’s okay?” you’re so good, well behaved and it’s all for isagi. it makes rin want to scream, rip his hair out, hurt something but he can’t. he won’t because he’s never been good at feelings. he has his older brother to thank for that. 

rin watches the interaction between you both like he’s on the outside looking in. isagi treats you like you’re the world encompassed into one being. yet, there’s a glint swirling in those ocean eyes rin despises so much. “more than okay, baby…actually, i think you might be able to help us make up.” isagi hums, twirling you in his arms until your back is to his chest and you’re facing rin now too.

“…i can?” regrettably, your interest is piqued. isagi has that look in his eye, the one that he gets when he’s scheming and he has all the cards in his hands. except this time, he’s not looking at you. 

rin itoshi seems to be the target of your boyfriend’s games tonight — and you, a mere chess piece on the board. 

“mhm…” yoichi’s voice drops, brushing over the patch in your brain that controls your pleasure. you know that voice, you’ve heard it a million times before…during showers, early in the morning, right after games. the way he speaks switches up whenever isagi wants you. “you see, pretty girl, rinnie over here—“ the striker juts his chin out in the direction of his rival, using the sweet little nickname he knows you have for him. “doesn’t think i can be a good boyfriend, thinks i’m embarrassing, thinks i can’t fuck. would you say any of those statements are true?”

you frown, lips drawn into pout and brows creased where they meet in the centre. “n-no! of course not.” 

and rin thinks he might die there and then, with you looking at him like you’re disappointed in his opinion. 

for as long as he’s known you, you’ve never cared about the feud between himself and your partner but this particular comment seems to bother you. upset you. and as much as he pretends to be indifferent towards you, the last thing rin itoshi wants to do is hurt your feelings. he’s never quite known what it’s like to care for someone — aside from sae, pre-spain. so for him to consider your feelings with every interaction you have is weird, at least for him. you’re a baffling enigma to rin, he finds himself drawn to you like a moth to a candle flame and finds comfort in your sugary conversation and polite laughter. 

you seemed to like rin, for all his awkwardness and lack of charm. you had once called him cute despite his rough exterior and cold nature — leading him to believe that he could maybe try a little harder for you, be with you. that was, at least, until isagi came along and swept you off your feet with boyish smiles and rose tinted cheeks.

isagi could do with you what rin couldn’t do for himself. 

be open with his admiration for you.

for a second, you cut the connection between rin’s aquamarine eyes and your own to glance back up at your boyfriend. 

“we should prove him wrong, then.” 

“but rinnie— i mean, rin,” you correct yourself when isagi tightens his grip on you as you try to diffuse the situation as best you can. “he wouldn’t… he doesn’t care about stuff like that. i know you’re a good boyfriend. isn’t that all that matters?” but in a twisted sort of way, you like that he’s a little pissed off, that rin is there watching you all loved up on each other too.

you feel his excitement press into your behind, arm wrapping around your tummy this time. “you’re all that matters to me,” isagi affirms because it’s true. he shouldn’t really care what rin thinks, but he left his rationality on the pitch. he’s pissed off and he lost and all he can think about is fucking you up and proving his point. soothing his ego. his flirtatious voice tickles the shell of your ear and sends a strong current of electricity straight down to your centre. “but baby, i wanna fuck you. don’t you want him to watch? help me prove that i’m so fucking good to you?” 

he just can’t let it go, not this time. 

is it because he thinks rin’s words are true? that he’s not good enough for you? that you might even deserve better than a man that puts his heart and trust into soccer? 

yoichi loves you so much he think he might rip stars from the sky, and maybe the the sun if you’d asked him to. he’s so good to you, he knows that. you know it too, but he wants to prove it. 

have the one up on rin just this once. 

you give a slight nod of your head because maybe you’re just as much of an egoist as isagi. you don’t want him to doubt himself, he’s the best in japan. in the world. at soccer, at loving you too. he deserves to show off that much. so you agree, hesitantly, “but, yoichi… rin is still…” you say. not that you care, you’ve partially forgotten that itoshi still exists — isagi’s loving touch as he feels you up from over your jersey provides a perfect distraction. 

he’s always like this with you, makes you feel like you’re the only two people in the room.

“don’t worry precious. he’ll look but he won’t touch, unless he asks and you say yes. right, rinnie?” 

it’s the first time in minutes that either of you finally acknowledge rin. the stretching silence filled with ragged breathing and the rustling of clothing as rin watches you lose yourself to lust. to isagi.

“right.” he scoffs like he doesn’t care, barely able to tear his eyes away from your slither of skin revealed as you pull up your jersey to give isagi better access.

“spread your legs baby, lemme see that pretty pussy. wanna show her off.” isagi hums in satisfaction but he doesn’t push, letting you lead. “you want it any way, precious? tell me what you need, i’ll give it to you.” his hands run down to your soft tummy, resting just above the hem of your boy shorts while he grinds into you from behind. “just wanna make you feel good.”

choices, choices.

the ghost of yoichi’s touch along your skin, a thumb on your faint adam’s apple, then over your nipple — it makes saliva pool heavily on your tongue and your eyelashes flutter. “w-what do you think, rinnie?” you gasp, lifting your head to face him. 

the younger itoshi swallows thickly. “fingers.” he says without hesitation. “you gotta prep her first, idiot.”

“still so rude, rin,” your boyfriend tuts mockingly. “c’mere. get ‘em nice and wet for her.” isagi points to his mouth — gesturing for his rival to open up for his fingers. 

“fuck off, isagi. i-i’m not— you’re not going anywhere near me.” 

“oh come on, you’re the one that wanted to prep her. my girl can take it with or without.” isagi presses, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a cocky smirk. “this was your decision, remember?” 

the mere thought of doing anything remotely sexual with yoichi has the fortress of rin itoshi’s mind crumbling, starting with it’s foundation. he’s not disgusted by the idea, no, but he fears letting his mask slip. “if you’re not willing to take care of her properly, then you’re just proving my point. you’re half-hearted. lukewarm. you don’t care to fuck her proper.” rin scoffs, ignoring the shake in his voice.

“please, rinnie,” you hiccup. “he won’t touch me if you don’t…p-play along.” 

but when it’s you, rin can’t ever seem to say no to you.

you’re like a siren calling out to him to drown himself in all that he desires — your saccharine and salacious strings of words setting his insides alight with wanton. begrudgingly, rin strides towards you both and grabs your boyfriend’s wrist with flaming cheeks, heart hammering in his chest so hard he’s afraid you might hear it and think him weak. 

the gentle part of his lips encircle two of isagi’s fingers and is tongue, once tucked away behind rows of brilliant white teeth, breaks free from its barrier to roll over the slender digits — glazing them in a of spit. rin feels degraded, it pours through him in the same thickness as his blood and replaces all the oxygen in his lungs. but then you look at rin like you want him, dainty gaze honed in on the way his tongue weaves between your boyfriend’s fingers and soaks them in his claim. he can’t help but grow more confident in the action.

but then yoichi reminds you both of his presence, thrusting into rin’s obedient mouth until his gags and his tropical ocean eyes blow wide in shock at the sound. isagi’s own blue pair drown in mirth. 

“satisfied?” rin let’s your boyfriend go with a wet smack of his lips, rasping his words out as he regains his breath. 

“not really, but she can help with that.” isagi sounds like he adores you, plunging his spit slicked fingers past your swell of your plump lips so you can get them even wetter for him. you seem eager, sucking on them as if you’re chasing the younger itoshi sibling’s flavour and the visuals make his cock twitch behind his elasticated shorts as he pictures you mouthing at the ache between his legs. 

once isagi is truly satisfied, he pulls out of your mouth and pats your cheek lovingly. “did such a good job, precious. i’m gonna touch you now, okay?” he doesn’t wait for you to respond since you’re too delirious, giggling on trickles of ecstasy from being pampered in your lover’s hold. his hand slips in between your plush thighs and underneath your clothes easily, yoichi dragging a single digit along the length of your puffy folds to get a feel for just how messy you are. you’re dripping with sweet juices, the scent of you intoxicating and potent to both boys as isagi eases the finger past your clenching hole experimentally. 

you hiccup and tremble, your head rolling back against his shoulder the more his thickness presses into you and stretches you out for later. rin can see just how much you make isagi’s skin shine with your wetness, clear strings of it oozing down your thighs and into the seat of his rival’s palm — all this from being barely touched? from watching rin suck on your boyfriend’s fingers so pathetically? you’ve barely been touched as it is.

it only makes the throb at rin’s core that much more painful. 

“don’t you even think about touching yourself to this. you’re lucky enough to even be watching her,” blue lock’s shining star grunts out to rin possessively, his voice laden with a lust that scratches at his throat. you whine out for more, hips jutting downwards to chase more of isagi and his attention switches back to you. “sorry for the wait, precious. there we go, is this alright? is this how you want it?” his softness has you melting like butter in a pan, isagi easing a second finger alongside the first before he curls them to bare down harshly on your g-spot.

the moan that escapes you is a far cry from your angelic nature in rin’s eyes, reminding him that isagi’s the one who cast you out of heaven. “m-more yoichi,” you squirm impatiently, back arching away from the striker’s chest as he used his free hand to toy with yours. “faster, c’mon—!”

“alright baby, relax. we’ll do whatever you want.” isagi moans back desperately, as if your pleasure is his pleasure. he changes the angle of his hand so that the back of it is facing rin, creating the visual of him cupping your sweltering, glistening pussy. you drool into the seat of his palm while he works you open, stroking your velvet and sopping insides like the tide lapping at the shoreline to indulge you and build the pressure that bubbles just under your naval. “oh, you like that? want me to rub your clit too? just like that precious,” 

the rough pad of his thumb draws signatures of love against your budding clit as your arousal pearls on it it. every push and pull of isagi’s fingers have you a syrupy mess, glinting under the artificial lights and only drawing rin’s eager gaze to the treasure between your thighs. when he looks to your face all he sees is your insatiable appetite and dire need to run after the high your boyfriend plans to give you. 

rin’s tongue darts out to wet the crack on his lips and he attempts to swallow the saliva that coats his tongue and floods his mouth — making it difficult for him to breathe. and if he does, manage to breathe in, the scent of you is intoxicating and fills rin with a level of desire his body can’t even handle. shame brews below the surface level of his skin, intertwined with the blood cells that surge through his veins and right to the tip of his shaft. 

he flinches as it pulses to life inside his briefs, pathetically wet from how wet you sound. 

“listen to that, fuck,”  isagi groans, his lashes fluttering against the side of your face the deeper he plunges two fingers into you. “cunt sounds so pretty baby. sucking me in like that, s’like you never wanna let me go.” 

the way isagi touches you is intoxicating — casting a dark veil over every thought that dares to cross your mind and clouding your better judgement. with him it’s easy to be this vulnerable and allow yourself to crumble to pieces in front of the hawk-like gaze of someone you know all too well. you find yourself not caring about the way rin watches you, pools of tropical ocean eyes dropping from your eyes to your pulsing sex where your boyfriend pinches and toys with your folds to get you wetter and wetter.

you’re fucking enjoying this. isagi knows it. rin knows it — the three of you trapped under the spell and vulgar scent of sex that mingles with the air you breathe in. you hardly feel bad for teasing the poor itoshi baby like this, finding the shaky mewls and squeals that you usually save for your boyfriend are a little louder than usual — spiking even higher when blue lock’s star egoist pulls back the hood of your clit to maximise your sensitivity and receptiveness to his touch, rubbing your juices into the little nub. 

��tell him how good it feels.” yoichi is so loving but oh so condescending, commanding the will of your body as he curls his fingers just right to brush over the spongy spot inside of you to make you see the gates of heaven. 

your pretty pussy gushes in response before you can, milky white running down isagi’s forearm as it gathers in the seat of his palm. you’re desperate to speak, but your mouth feels as if it’s been stuffed with cotton and your words are replaced by shaky and choked moans. between being finger fucked to the brink verge of collapse and watching rin try to grind against his boxers for friction — you don’t know how your boyfriend expects you to form a cohesive thought, let alone speak. 

still, you manage to stutter out some kind of praise to him. “oh god, f-fuck, yoichi!”

when isagi hits your g-spot, you spasm so hard you think you might die and at the same time, rin’s needy whimper echoes around the locker room as if to taunt him.  “she’s close,” rin bleats, the pain in his cock becoming too much to bare as he fumbles over the front of his shorts to reprehensibly relieve himself. “aren’t you gonna make her cum?” 

the question is meant with no malice or harm — more innocent than rin allows himself to appear and isagi quickly picks up on it, licking a hot stripe up from the base of your neck to just behind your ear. “you can always tell when my precious girl is close,” he scissors his fingers along your insides, clear strings of your arousal keeping him tied to you. “she clenches so fucking tight around me, like she wants to make me a mess and claim me. keep me all to yourself, right precious?” he coos to you slyly, stroking you into the shape of him and flicking at your clit — arousal gathering copiously between your pussy lips. “you wanna cum so bad, don’t you.” 

“y-yes!” you nearly scream, legs buckling beneath isagi’s ministrations, pumping in and out of your velvet walls with newfound motivation. 

pleasure grows inside of you bit by bit, as if isagi has laid the foundation for bricks of pleasure to stack up high and the fact that rin itoshi is watching you just cements it all together. “make yourself useful, and hold her up.” he instructs, lazily sucking marks into your skin. “so selfish, rin. just like always. getting yourself off while my precious girl’s a shaky mess. you could have been helping all this time.” 

a smile that could rival the devil’s tugs at your boyfriend’s wet lips when rin staggers forward to hold you up in the comfort of his arms. the path to what he wants has always been clear and isagi plays on that like it’s a part of the game you all play — knowing that rin would never give up the chance to hold you this close. you can feel the outline of his bulging cock against your tummy, the thought of it grinding inside you alongside isagi’s fingers doing nothing to sedate the desire coursing through you. your selfish need to cum. 

blood rushes through rin’s ears at he way you cling onto him life a lifeline. you might be creaming on yoichi’s thick fingers, letting them stretch you out in preparation for his even thicker dick, but right now — you need rin to ground you and keep you back down on earth. 

“can’t,” you whine over the lewd slushy sounds reverberating from between your thighs,  and bat your eyelashes up at the younger itoshi — pride internally rumbling in your chest as the black abyss of his pupils swallows his pretty green eyes. “can't hold it, ‘ichi.” there’s nothing greater to you than humbling someone like rin itoshi. he forgets that while you follow whatever pleasure is given to you, you’ll always be loyal to yoichi isagi. hearing you moan his name only shatters rin’s confidence. 

“let go for me, baby. cum all over me like the good girl i know you can be,” a deep groan takes hold in isagi’s chest, roots intertwining with his lungs and his very being. much like a sturdy tree. his thumb goes back to signing his name over it, gaze honing in between the sinful movement beneath your clothes. “get on your knees, rin. see how i fuck her nice and good.” 

doing as he’s told, rin bites back his humiliation and sinks to his knees before you — keening into your fingers as they move up to grip his broad shoulders and your nails dig into his milky flesh hidden by his kit. from here, gets a front row seat to your gushing sex and how it soils the tiny threads of your boy shorts stuffed between your fattened pussy lips. 

sex crazed hormones drift into the air, rattling about and colliding with kinetic energy as isagi picks up the pace — the seat of his palm now grinding against your clit, rubbing you raw and relentlessly. he bites down on your pulse point, and that’s really all it takes to throw you over the ledge. the stacks of ecstasy that had been building within the depths of your soul finally come crumbling down and your release shoots out of you, slapping to the floor in a crude manner.

“o-oh! ‘m c-cumming!” you cry out, feeling evidence of your orgasm blaze a trail down your inner thighs in clear streams as isagi guides you through it. rin doesn’t bother fighting his biological instincts, craning his head up for just a taste, a smell, anything — your sugary and musky scent sending him spiralling while heady precum oozes from his time painfully. 

“ah, ah fuck, baby. keep that orgasm goin’ for me, keep cumming. so pretty.” soft praises fall on your ears despite the white noise that overwhelms you, letting yoichi control the way you twitch and react with his large hands still working you through it all — perfectly nestled between your trembling thighs. you came so much, so sweet.” 

it’s like yoichi is in awe of you, kissing your cheek as you come down from your high — still clenching and fluttering around his fingers. the pair of you forget about rin sitting on the floor between your legs — bearing witness to the way your orgasm rhythmically drips out of you. it’d be foolish for both boys not to become obsessive over the way you guys. slowly, one of your hands leaves rin’s muscled shoulder to grip your boyfriend’s hair and tug him into giving you a wet and loving kiss.

“you always make me cum so hard, yoichi,” you praise him, your shaky voice sounding angelic to both men. “thank you, baby.” 

still licking his way into your mouth, isagi sighs in content, circling his hips into your ass. “all i wanna do is make you feel good,” he breathes his want into you. “are you okay to keep going? we can stop right here. rin doesn’t have to see anymore.” 

it’s only then that  you remember rin between your legs, discreetly humping the floor for some relief — practically shaking at how bad he wants you.

“you need me,” you say, hunger curling around the tone in your voice. “we can keep going.” 

isagi fucking loves you. he’s sure he’s never quite met anyone on the same level of ego and desire as him. maybe you’re both insane, beyond the brink of normalcy with enough danger between you to destroy the whole world — but instead you stick to ruining the man before you both, ripping his ego down until it’s nothing but measly pieces and rin itoshi can no longer look either of you in the eye.

a pair of eager lips land on yours once again — tasting of freshly cut grass and the sweat on your lover’s Cupid’s bow. you suck and bite on one another, leaving your claim visually on each other while your hearts remain tied. isagi grabs at your fleshy ass cheeks, takes your tongue down his throat and lets you own him just as much as he owns you while rin bares witness to your boiling and passionate love. 

familiar hands yank down your shorts and underwear in one go — desperately exposing your hot skin to the air conditioned room, causing a wave of goosebumps to erupt over your body in anticipation. excitement. “i wanna fuck you so bad, i can’t ever get enough of you, precious girl.” he whispers menacingly against the shell of your ear, like it’s a threat but instead directed towards the man at your feet. “‘m so lucky,” his hands wander again, cupping your cunt squeezing your waist and pulling the sweetest sounds from between your lips. “being the only one to have you like this.”

once again, you collapse forward and dig your nails into rin’s shoulders — relishing in the way he looks up at you like you’re a forbidden prize to be won. an angel. a diety. you smile at him, innocent and cute, whimpering a breath’s width away from rin’s lips as isagi arches your back for himself — peeling apart your juicy ass cheeks to set his sights on your glistening pussy. your squelching hole pulses around nothing, sending beading droplets of your arousal through your folds.

“hi rinnie,” you simper and struggle to keep your gaze focused on the athlete, feeling isagi rub his seedy hot cockhead against the entire length of his sex. teasing the both of you. “how’s are you doing?”

there’s so much he wants to say to you. to do to you. if rin had a little more confidence and higher self esteem — maybe he could acknowledge his feelings, he could kiss you, make you his, make you forget all about isagi. but rin is a coward paralysed by his own fear of feeling something real. he lets you walk all over him instead. both of you. 

“i’m good, how are you feeling?” he mumbles in response, all needy-like. you almost feel bad for him, revelling in the way rin tracks your moans, his mouth dropping open just like yours when yoichi drives his hips forwards and bullies his heavy cock past your fluttering entrance. “f-fuck, you’re so…”

“so what, r-rinnie?” 

“so pretty.”  

his eyes shine when he speaks, glossy with desire causing pride to curl around your heart and fan the flames of debauchery inside of you. isagi pulls back, his brows creasing in the centre of his sweaty forehead as he adjusts his tender grip on your hips and pulls his cock from the snugness of your drenched heat. he thrusts forward, hitting every pleasure spot he’s ever mapped out along the length of your slippery walls, making you shudder and press your forehead to rin’s for support. 

“pretty girl, how are you still so…” isagi grunts, high-pitched and borderline whiny, choking on the spit that pools against the pad of his tongue and slips out of the corner of his mouth. “so fucking tight. god, i needed this. needed you.” 

the way in which isagi yearns for you will never fail to make you melt, following your biological instinct which tells you to push your hips back and throw your ass back on him too. “it’s all for you, yoichi,” you drawl, a wet sigh lying on your glossy lips while your boyfriend's milky tips drags along your insides, churning you up just as he kisses your cervix. rin’s face crumples and you feel a little mean for getting lost in his rival right before his very eyes — but the other half of you enjoys the psychological torment  you’re putting him through. 

you like how at any point he could have gotten up and left yourself and isagi to your fun. but rin stays, because he likes the position of vulnerability you put him in. he trusts you, both you and isagi. 

yoichi pacifies himself by latching into your shoulder with pointed teeth, licking over the bite marks as his chest rumbles in content and his hips set a steady stream to fuck you with. his dark hair tickles your skin every time he pumps his cock in and out of you, feeding your body his lust for you and painting you with opaque layers of pre between your thighs. it mixes with your arousal, clear strings slinging against your legs each time isagi’s balls tap at your sensitive clit.

he breathes his ego into you, making your face burn, making you cry out until your throat is raw. isagi has always been able to fill you up so good, his cock is pretty — decorated with spiralling blue and green veins that hit spots you can’t reach with your fingers while is shaft slightly curves, up just enough to never leave your g-spot. even when he’s fucking you from behind. 

“oh precious girl, that’s it, throw it back on me,” isagi slurs, hardly able to focus on anything aside from the way you take him in — the lewd pap, pap, pap of your pussy rippling around him. “show me how you want it. how you want me to use this cock for you.” 

isagi tells you encouragingly between thready breaths. he’s always been a giver, his pleasure has always been your pleasure and his end goal to make you see stars when you cum. like you, isagi always finds a way to get what he wants. and he wants you to lose your mind to him. in front of rin. 

“right there, yoichi — need you right there!” comes your heavenly little whine as you throw your head back onto his shoulder for the nth time that evening. your attention tears away from rin for only a second, giving him the perfect view of your breasts that bounce as yoichi pounds you from behind and the crystallised beads of sweat that run down the collum of your throat. “y’so big, oh my god.”

“you, hah, you hear that rin? she keeps cryin’ my name, praising me like i’m her fucking god.” he somehow manages to snap to his rival.  

you have an inkling that yoichi going insane since his voice drips with a huskiness that lowers its octave.  he seems to lose his goal, however, succumbing to your selfish cunt that refuses to let him pull out and forces the striker to keep his thrusts deep and targeted inside of your heated core. 

bliss is pungent in the air, lays heavy across every inch of your mind and you find yourself succumbing to it — once mover digging your nails into rin’s shoulders until they form pretty crescent moons on the expanse of his milky flesh and you can use him as leverage to fuck yourself back on yoichi’s creamy dick. 

everything sounds so fucking nasty, and rin really can’t fucking help it. all of his shamefulness that once painfully panged at each of his nerve endings seems to have fizzled away into shameless. he finds himself no longer caring that his cock is pulsing from watching his friend ( his rival, his enemy, his … crush? whatever …) fuck the girl of his dreams to high heavens and back. with his emerald gaze laser focused on darting between your viscous and drenched cunt sucking yoichi in, and your angelic expression ( creased brows and perfectly pouty lips) — rin let’s his hand slip beneath his shorts to finally relieve himself of the ache. 

he hissed at the first contact with his erection, the sound quickly turning to pathetic blubbers that make his ears burn red at their tips — because it feels so good. finally touching himself in sync with isagi’s thrusts, getting himself off to the way he fucks you, loves you. torn between wanting to be either of you. it’s a large thing to admit to himself, sifting through a maze of lust, attraction. rin has been chasing after the want to be loved for so long and somewhere along the way it morphed into wanting to be between you both.

he won’t admit it out loud, however, but he feels lucky enough to watch right now. grateful that he pushed isagi this far.

the sounds of him jerking off his crying cock, rubbing at his slit from time to time, merges perfectly with the sinful symphony of your mewls, your cries and the weightly slap of isagi’s skin against your own. his guttural moans too, and his breeder’s balls smacking down wetly on your equally wet, puffy cunt. you catch on first, teary eyes drifting down to the movement beneath the younger itoshi’s clothes and then back up to his face — which looks lighter, relieved and less tense. 

“oh rinnie,” you coo, voice rising an octave — delighted by the sight in front of you and the way in which your boyfriend eagerly chases the hot grip of your abused, leaky hole. “y-you’re so cute… you like watching me get fucked that bad, hm?” 

“y-yes, god yes.” he lets out a choked moan in response, his throat dry from holding back and not having spoken in a while. 

you grin lazily and lift a hand from rin’s shoulder to cup his cheek, brushing away a stray tear with your thumb. one that he didn’t even know had fallen. “you’ve been such a good boy, watching so well ‘n listening to ‘ichi up until now…” even though your voice wavers, and you’re just as submissive to your boyfriend as rin is to you right now — you somehow manage to reach out to him, lick at the longing parts of his soul that crave affection like this. 

“he’s pathetic is what he is,” isagi rears his jealous head while slumping over you — aiming to steal your attention away. he’s rutting into you so fast that you swear you see a blinding white light, gushing down his dick and slicking him all up with your early release. “rubbin’ one off on your stupid cock to my girlfriend even when told not to. seems like you never listen, not on the field. not here. you just live to piss me off, don’t you man.” 

it’s humiliating for rin, but he likes it. stuck between your loving praise and isagi’s harsh words. “seeing her cum for me wasn’t enough for me to prove my point to you, but now she’s on my dick and you still won’t admit it.” he barks but doesn’t let up on fucking you senseless.

the hand that squeezes and tugs at rin’s sorely, hard cock only seems to move faster the more mean, embarrassing shit isagi spews at him. tearing the younger player down but making him feel this amazing. he can’t ignore the small spurts of pre cum that his iron hot tip releases just from having the two of you watching him. it’s evident in the dark stain that seeps through the fabric of his soccer shorts. 

his cheeks are flushed and his eyelids droopy as he looks up at you, palming himself to your very vision of beauty. the three of you are a mess. you can’t help but sequel like a lamb being dragged to slaughter between rin and isagi — who tears you apart by plunging into you as deep as he can go and pieces you back together with sloppy kisses to your back, tonguing at your neck possessively. 

isagi’s veiny hands grab at your ass next to pull you onto his thrusting cock, pushing anything that leaks out of you back into your clenching hole. he peels his sweat soaked chest away from your back and you whimper at the loss of his body heat — only to let out a surprised sob when he spits onto the point at which your bodies join, fucking the froth past your entrance. 

everything your boyfriend does to you, has a snowball effect on rin. he no longer holds back, wildly bucking his hips into his hand wishing it were your sluice sex, or your mouth. dying to have his hands all over you the way isagi does. you terrorise his thoughts but your moans and squeaks soothe him — dragging him closer and closer to his high. you’re dangerous, rin concludes, but it only makes him want to see you like this even more. 

meanwhile, you’re in no better condition — every time isagi bends you over and ravages you like this, you’re reminded of the many reasons why he is blue lock’s star player. his strong build from playing soccer all around the world pays off in he’s with you, making good use of his new found stamina to wreck your entire being and pound you all the way to hell. though yoichi is shorter and lean where rin is taller and agile, he never fails to make your brain void of any thought and your legs soft thighs  with how wet you are. he fucks you like he hates you, like he’s mad at you for your own existence but he speaks to you in ways that emulate love.

“you’re milking me, precious girl,” he mutters as if he’s in awe. “you want my cum that badly? you want me?” yoichi purrs, sending shockwaves through your system and right down to your pelvis — adding to the orgasmic knots that twist there, threatening to unravel at any second. “you’re so pretty, grinding up on me. so dirty, loving how rin watches you. my precious girl.”

“‘m yours, yoichi,” you reaffirm, preening into his touch as it cascades up and down your body like a rushing waterfall. “wanna cum, wanna cum f’you.” 

your admission is like a bullet to the chest for rin but he doesn’t want to give this up, revelling how you look down at him, his milky white dick and his blushing face  with an expression so sweet his teeth might rot and his ears fill with your honey-like voice — melting his brain. he wants this for as long as you’ll give it to him, for as long as isagi will allow him to witness it.

“i know baby, but you know what i want, feels so much better when you wait for me,” your boyfriend’s thrusts begin to grow sloppy and irregular — indicating the approach of his own high. but isagi knows you and your body better than anyone else, knows how to make you cum so hard that you might black out. you love to be edged, and you love him even more so. you’d do whatever he wanted and then some. and he would do the same for you. 

he throbs within your tightness, your pussy papping and pulsating, smeared with isagi’s thick precum that douses your puffy folds in white. the mix froths, creating a foamy ring of white at the thickest point of his length. “p-please, yoichi. i don’t think i can,” you wail in denial like you always do, the sound causing both boys to squeeze the base of their cocks and groan in unison — attempting to stave off their orgasms. “hurts so good.” 

rin is reminded of just how good his rival can fuck you. even when you’re desperate to cum (and he’s just as desperate to watch it happen again) — you still have a burning hunger for isagi to control your ecstasy. he wants to give up control like that too. with you, or with his destined enemy. liquid lust rolls down rin’s dick in large waves, his eyes threatening to roll back as he listens to your moans get higher and higher the closer you are. yoichi is in no better condition, growling and chasing after your cunt as your hips attempt to run away from him. 

“she wants to fucking cum, you idiot.” rin grunts, finding his voice amidst the sound of crying, moaning and skin on skin. “please, let her cum.” 

“why? so you can bust a nut to my fucking girl. jeez, rin. get a fucking grip.” 

maybe this is what makes isagi the bad boyfriend rin so desperately wants to make him. putting his pleasure above your own even though rin knows that’s far from the truth — almost relenting while he jerks off to the same pace that isagi fucks you with. but then you call out to him, like a siren from the high seas.

“rinnie, please touch me. h-help me cum.” 

his body moves on his own accord after that, the hand that’s not getting himself off to you and his so called friend reaching between shaky legs and salty skin to fumble with your clit awkwardly. rin has never touched a girl a girl before, not even like this. but he tries to recreate it in the way that isagi does, to listen to you moan for him and see you tremble above him.

“h-how’s that?” he breathes, watching in awe as your eyes roll back into your skull. 

“more.” you say. barking out the command while your cunt spews a fresh wave of juices onto rin’s hand.

your body seizes up, pleasured from all angles. between yoichi’s cock and rin’s calloused thumb drags random shapes over the pearl between your folds. “motherfucker….”  the curse spills from isagi’s lips before he can stop it and admit how fucking amazing it feels to have you tense around him, warm and wet. it’s worse when rin accidentally catches his cock as it slips in and out of you rapidly, churning up your insides. “fucking bastard. at least touch her properly, rub in circles.” 

rin does what he’s told, following the simple command and obediently flicking at your clit. it’s totally worth it, surrendering his autonomy to the older player just to have you tug at his hair and squeal his name. you jut your hips back and forth, meeting both boys in their bid to make you see heaven. your limbs threaten to give out on you, you pulse and pleasure tremors through you like an earthquake.

“oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!” you chant like it’s a prayer.

the world around you falls away as you’re finally pushed over the edge — a bright white light flooding your vision accompanied by static fizzling in your ears. rin watches you cum a second time as if he’s witnessing the eight wonders of the world, your cunt flooding with isagi’s cum at the same time that you squirt with ease. his load floods your womb, filling you up to the brim and you feel so good you might die. a scream tearing in your throat and the knots in your lower tummy rapidly unravelling. the both of you cumming together, at last.

you can’t help it, surging forward to press your lips against rin’s, kissing him hazily, your tongue prodding through his lips — licking into his mouth. rin creams his pants at the very sensation, damn near sobbing into your open mouth. “f-fucking christ, that’s so hot.” isagi whines, slowly pulling out of you and letting the crude mix of your arousals hit the floor. 

it’s only then that rin realises love is not binary.  there are no clear paths to achieving the perfect love. there hat tricks or dribble techniques. love is unwinding and binding and there are too many possibilities. and that scares rin, for him to love a girl he can’t have.

your knees buckle under the exhaustion of it all and rin reaches out to catch you before you can pull away and the oxygen from reality floods his brain again. he misses you when isagi reaches you first, coddling you in his arms and kissing all over your face to calm you down and reassure you. loving you in ways rin isn’t sure that he’s capable of. 

nosing your cheek, isagi coos out to you — his personality doing a complete 180. “you okay, precious. i wasn’t too hard on you, right?” 

you’re so happy to be in his arms, close to dozing off. “‘m okay, yoichi. you were perfect. you always are. i love you.” 

“do you need help getting to the showers? i can carry you there.” 

eyeing rin on the floor, you look back up to isagi and shake your head adoringly — knowing that they’ll probably need to talk this out without you.

“i’ll be alright, find me when you’re done here. okay?” 

the striker lets you back down and accepts a kiss on the cheek from you. you pad away to wash off — leaving him in silence with his younger counterpart. the tension fails to dissipate as they fix themselves, tucking away their dicks and floundering to speak. 

rin watches the way isagi longingly looks at the door, wanting to be with you instead of dealing with the consequences of his actions. it dawns on him then, that he literally cannot win against isagi, that perhaps he is better than rin in all ways possible. he’s a loser. he lost to you and to isagi. 

“i’m… i’m a good boyfriend. for her, yanno,” isagi says awkwardly after some time, scratching the back of his head shyly. “there isn’t anything i wouldn’t do for her…but how much i love her doesn’t reflect in my plays and she knows that. the way i love her and love soccer are different. i could never blame my mistakes on how much i care for her. it would be on me. like today was on you.” 

rin can only blink back in response. “that’s true. i’m—“ he wants to apologise, but something inside him, something that he’d worked so hard to undo this past hour doesn’t let him. he can’t submit, be truthful and vulnerable. not when the setting isn’t as intimate as before. 

rin still can’t let go. 

something familiar — akin disappointment swirls in the blues and azures of yoichi’s eyes, but he doesn’t comment on rin’s silence. 

it reminds rin of his brother, sae. 

with nothing left to talk about, isagi nods quietly and shoved his hands in his pockets to head for the showers — no doubt to check up on you, be with you openly and happily, but pauses just shy of the door. he throws his head back to address rin once more. 

“oh and by the way,” isagi mumbles, pushing his tongue around inside his mouth and against his cheek. looking for the right words. as if he’s holding back — saying whatever comes next against his will. “she did really like you. so, every day i have to prove to her that i was the right choice, the better one. a good boyfriend. so don’t get it twisted. alright?”

he makes his exit shortly after — leaving the younger player with no time to respond.

and rin can’t tell if those words were supposed to comfort him or not. in fact, all they do is make him feel worse. 

[sapphire-weapon]

Dont wanna like sound cliche or anything, but things will get better.

All of us are lost and struggling in some way or another and life is unpredictable and the world is a fucked up place; so what's important at the end of the day is that you have a place to live, your cats, friendship and you can indulge in what you like whenever you want.

Things can and will change. You know what you want and what you don't want, you're hanging in there, and that's all it takes. Keep being open to new opportunities and believing you're doing your best, because you are. Life will reward you.

And yeah after things get better they will get bad again, everything is temporary, but what matters is that you won't be in the same place and you'll be carrying the strength of knowing you survived worse and you will do it again.

All the best to you and know we're here for you!!

not sure where this is coming from anon but thank u

i will say, though, that struggling in your 30s feels a lot different from struggling in your 20s. "everything is temporary" stops being a comfort and starts sounding like a threat.

remember a few days ago i was like "oh man i projected way too hard onto leon in this dialogue for the fic, gotta delete that shit"

this is the dialogue. this is what it feels like to struggle in your 30s

JUST SOMETHING FOR U GUYS TO LOOK FORWARD TO I GUESS LMAO

this shit is getting deleted btw it's not making it into the fic

[ferniliciousness]

Happy N7 Month!

This is my first November in the fandom and I am genuinely excited and looking forward to it. Which feels weird cause this is the first fandom I've ever really been a part of. Mass effect has definitely really helped me the last few months, and I'm so glad I've gotten to meet some pretty cool people in the process lol.

Anyway, enough of the sappy stuff, that's not what this is about lmao. I've started a few projects for the month and I am very excited to share the first one with y'all. I've been working on this for like a month now 😭 and I'm actually proud of it so I hope you enjoy ☺️

Prompt: Tension

TW: Suicidal inclinations

*why didn't I just say no? I should have just said no?* Gaia's mind is racing standing next to Garrus and looking out over the street below them. Sidonis is here, and Gaia has to watch Garrus kill him. She has to change his mind, she just has to. Otherwise, everything she believes about herself is true; she deserves to die, she doesn't deserve to live, and there is no hope for redemption. *I'm worse than Sidonis. I deserve so much worse than him. If Garrus can't spare him, can't offer him even an ounce of forgiveness, what hope do I have?* Numbness, that all familiar numbness she knows too well takes over her body. She hates it. She despises it. She wants it to just go away, go away and let her feel again, feel the pain, feel the despair, feel the guilt. To suffer. Resting on the railing, her hands shake. Her heart races as she scans the crowd below her. She finds Shepard and then she sees him, the man who has betrayed them. *No, no, no, I can't let him do this, I can't. There has to be hope, there has to be a chance for me. God, please Garrus, please, show me I can still do good in this world. Show me you would forgive me, show me you would give me a chance. Please Garrus, I'm running out of hope.*

"There he is." Garrus' voice snaps her back to reality. Her lungs gasp, the breath she was holding finally escaping. Her knuckles turn white as her nails dig into her palm, begging her body to not give up, to keep feeling, to keep hoping. Even as she turns to Garrus and sees his determination, sees the anger in his eyes, she has to hope

"You're in my shot. Move to the side a bit so I can get him." Gaia knows if Shepard moves Garrus would not hesitate to pull the trigger. She can see his hands trembling, and notices his mandibles twitching, but she can't tell if it's from anger or anxiety. She hopes it's him questioning, rethinking all of this. "Shepard" his name escapes her, begging, pleading with him to not let Garrus do this. Her eyes follow the barrel of Garrus' rifle, down to where Sidonis stands in front of Shepard and she can't help but imagine. Imagine it was her at the end of his scope, imagine him shooting her. But Shepard doesn't move and she can hear hope in her comm. "Sidonis, I'm here to help you." He was doing it, he was actually doing it. She cant believe it. "Dammit Shepard! If he moves I'm taking the shot! With or without your help." His harsh words surprise Gaia. Garrus never speaks to Shepard like this. Gaia painfully listens to Sidonis explain, how the blue suns captured him, tortured him even. How much regret he feels for what he did. She knows all to well how he feels, the pain and guilt he's going through. She's angry at him, just like Garrus, but she can't blame him. Not when she is no better then he is. "It's up to you Garrus, I'm letting you decide this one. Kill him or dont." Shepard moves to the side while Sidonis stands still, defeated. The choice hangs heavy in the air and Gaia knows she has to say something, she has to try. "Garrus don't! Please, please don't. The guilt will cause enough suffering, you don't have to do this." Stepping forward in a rush, she can't help but reach a hand out towards him. As her heart is pounding in her ears she's barely even thinking. "What!" His head snaps to look at her, his mandibles flare, showing his teeth. The suddenness makes her pause but she doesn't back away. "Gaia, you of all people should want this. You were there, you saw what happened, you saw what his actions brought US! Our friends were killed. Because of him." His anger touches her heart in a way he will never know. It pushes her back, not out of fear, but sudden shame. It forces her to step back, away from him, but she can't bring herself to look away. She meets his anger and lets it burn inside her, adding to the hatred she already feels towards herself. "Garrus, please." No one moves, no one speaks, they all just stand in the dense quiet, the air thick with tension. Finally, Garrus turns to face Sidonis again. "I... I... Fine, just... just let him go."

Gaia stands perfectly still, not looking away from Garrus for a moment. She desperately reads his face, trying to decipher any emotions from him that she can. But all she finds is the Turians frantic attempt at hiding them. His mandibles won't stop fluttering, and even through her translator she can hear his rapid clicking. And worse yet, he refuses to look at her, yet, she can't look away. "Why? Why did you do that?" His voice is trembling with confusion. But she can't say anything. He wants answers, no. He deserves answers. But the most she can do is stare up into his eyes, while her own glaze over. She retreats into herself, hiding in the security of chaos that is her emotions, so that he can't see. "Gaia no!" His hand on her shoulder snaps her out of her escape. "No running away, not this time. You're going to answer me dammit." Hot air hits her face as he sighs. "Don't... Don't you think he deserves it? Don't you think that... That everyone... Everyone that died that day deserves justice? He killed them." Garrus chuckles, his eyes now just as lost as Gaia's a moment ago. "He betrayed all of them. His death would have paid for that. Doesn't.... Doesn't someone have to pay? Doesn't someone have to make it all right?" His hand let's go of her. *No, no, no, don't let go! Don't slip away from me! I can't! Garrus I can't!* She watches as his hand returns to his side, and all hope of moving forward goes with it.

"Then shoot me Garrus. Kill me. Let me pay." Gaia shoves her pistol into his chest, catching him by surprise while her eyes lock onto his. Wide eyes meet hers, full of confusion and worry. He tries to take a step back, but Gaia hooks her hand into his armor, holding him in place. "I have been the cause of so many deaths, deaths of innocent people. I have so much blood on my hands, blood spilt because of my actions." Her eyes never leave his, reflecting an honest guilt and a long-felt resolve. "I have cheated, stolen, lied." Gaia takes another step closer to him, pointing the barrel of the pistol to her chest. "I have betrayed people who trusted me, people who cared about me." The words came out calmly, years worth of turmoil and pain simmered down into Gaia's heartfelt belief in herself. Pointing down to where Sidonis had stood only moments before, "If he is deserving of this, then I am deserving of so much more. If someone has to pay for it, let me." Tears threaten to spill from her eyes, but her voice never falters. Garrus tries to carefully pry the gun away from her, but her own fingers threaten to set it off. They both can hardly breathe, but even in the brief moment of silence, Gaia's hands just hold tighter to the pistol. "You say you believe in justice, in righting wrongs against innocent people. So show me Garrus. Show me. Pull that trigger and bring justice to me. Let me make it right."

Garrus tightens his grip around her hands, pushing on her palm, trying to get her to let go. Gaia could feel gentle thrums through his chest, his way to try and calm her down. Her fingers slip away from the trigger, his large hands gently guiding them away as he takes hold of the gun. Her body feels numb, and the world around her is quiet, she barely even notices him doing it. "Gaia. I.... I'm not going to shoot you." His mandibles click, quickly chattering against his cheeks. "I can't.... I don't know what you think you did, or why you think you deserve this, but this isn't your crime to pay for." The silence between them can almost be touched, as they stand in front of one another. Gaia's arms slowly fall to her side, letting go of his armor. "You ok?" Garrus' words finally breach the quiet. He wants to know, to understand. Gaia doesn't even know herself, but she doesn't want him to worry. "Yeah" a weak smile is all she has to offer him, and he sees right through it. "Gaia" The question behind his words is evident but Gaia has no desire to answer him, even if she knows she will eventually. "No. I'm not talking about it. Not right now." Gaia looks over the railing at the crowd walking below them, oblivious to everything that had just occurred. The tension between making the air feel thick. Gaia hears Garrus' hard sigh, he must still be upset, just as her emotions were still on a high. "Alright." Leaving it at that, Garrus walks behind her, pulling her rifle off of her back, before continuing down the walkway. Surprise pulls Gaia out of the awkwardness. "Hey, I said I was ok didn't I?" She jogs to catch up with him, his long strides covering much more distance than her. "I never said you weren't." He was upset, angry even, that was clear, but Gaia knows, he still cares. The realization hits her, standing in the street watching him walk back. She doesnt understand why or how he does, and she thinks that she never will, but she is grateful for it.

[honeekyuu]

HONEEEEE SELF SHIP FRIDAY WHO CHEERED

i love these prompts so im asking a lot sorry not sorry happy self ship friday

pre: 2, 6

general: 8, 9

love: 2, 10

domestic: 2, 8

MOLLYYYYYY LETS FUCKING GO IT'S SUNA DAY (it's always fking suna day lets be fucking real)

self ship questions!

pre 2: What was their first impression of each other?

suna and i met on move in day first year,,, he was screaming "if you break my shit ill fuck your mom" down the hall at atsumu as i coming around the corner with my cart of plants. we made eye contact and i said "my mom??" i immediately thought he was funny but he avoided me for like a week bc he was embarrassed. i had to keep making 'your mom' jokes until he cracked because he was being weird

pre 6: What was their "flirting stage" like?

looking back im like pretty solidly convinced the flirting stage started in like second year, but im just an idiot and didnt realize it until our situationship started a year later. lots of us staying up until 2am playing mario kart alone in the dorm lounge or in his room. lots of him texting me memes and tiktoks and taking random pictures of me and sending them to me when he'd see me on the quad but i didnt see him,,,, making faces at each other across classrooms,,, lots of his hands brushing thighs and elbows and me hugging him goodnight,,,, wow i was a stupid fuck back then lmao

general 8: Who takes the lead in social situations? How are they around each other's friends?

me. me me me. 100% me. we are both introverts but hes the WORSE introvert. people think hes a standoffish rude terrible fuck because he cant keep eye contact to save his life and is always on his phone in social situations. when he first met my friends i had to do major damage control but once they got to know him they realized hes just shy and now they make fun of him for it. "oh i'd ask suna but i dont think hes on this plane of existence rn" "suna i need your opinion and i need you to speak it in words please" ,, that kind of shit. his friends are the miyans and we were all in the same dorm for two years so there were no issues getting to know them lmao

general 9: Who gets jealous easier?

i was gonna say me but it's him. i get jealous SUUUUPER easily but more often it's like,, insecurity not jealousy lol. 90% of the time it's me being insane ab smth that isn't even happening and him being like "wow, youre being insane ab smth that isnt even happening!". but any time literally any guy he doesnt know tries to say smth to me, suna appears like a cryptid and stands there until the interaction is over. brother could be asking me for directions and a cold chill will pass over me as my bf emerges from the ether to linger behind me.

love 2: What are their primary love languages?

mine is words of affirmation and quality time without fail. i NEED this man to tell me he loves me because every four seconds im like "so you dont like me??" and he just sighs in exhaustion. and i feel like,,, even in the fwb stage,,,, if i went too long without seeing him i would get really insecure,,, but also HIS love languages are physical touch and quality time, so we never went more than like a DAY without seeing each other lmao. and hes a manhandler,,, brother just manhandles me when he gets clingy and im left to deal w it, he has no fucking clue how strong he is

love 10: What do they like best about each other?

i like how reliable he is. he is so steadfast and unwavering about basically everything, to the point where, if im feeling insecure, hes like "literally why would you ever think that? you already know how i feel, it has not changed once". it's a little frustrating bc hes stubborn, but also i feel like him being reliable as a fucking rock helps build my confidence to do things out of my comfort zone with him. and i think he likes that im fucking insane and overthink/overshare so open about my feelings!! hes really bad at expressing himself vocally, but hes gotten a LOT better at it in the years we've known each other and now hes basically perfect at just speaking his truth lmao. i think it's bc i talk so much ab my feelings that hes figured out how to do it too

domestic 2: If they get married, who proposes, and how do they do it? Would they change their surnames?

ohhh we're not married, but hes said out loud in extremely blunt terms that he'll be the one who proposes. i asked if he wanted me to propose and he said "HEEEEELLLLLL NO!!!!! I WANNA DO IT" so,,,, ig he's doing it ?? i dont think ill take his name though, he says he likes my name the way it is.

domestic 8: Who kills the bugs in the house?

him. he does. him. i would give the spiders the house if they asked for it.

[chickenmetenders]

"Sometimes a family can be two men and the two guys they abducted."

Assorted headcanons for the MAMIYA DDD Family ending [spoilers abound!!]

Here's a compilation/archive of messages I posted in the MAMIYA fan Discord about a continuation of the Family ending in Keito's route. In my version, Ryou also gets taken into the family along with Osamu, Satoru, and Keito. I call them KORS for short.

This is absolutely not serious or angsty in anyway, because I was writing this as aftercare for Minato's route lmao. I've sorted through my many messages and did some reorganizing, so they're grouped by topic. (Bolded names: indicates a comment from a server member)

Keito's New Family!!

For the first two months of living together keito is terrified, but ryou being 7 gets over the whole thing in like one month. Like this is just his new normal

Keito starts getting over it (stockholm syndrome starts setting in) once he sees satoru teaching ryou how to make takoyaki

You know i think crab takoyaki could work. I dont like crab but crab meat isnt that far off from octopus

Even after Keito gets over the whole kidnapping thing, he still takes a while to acclimate to his new "family". Like satoru osamu and ryou get used to the family situation pretty quickly (because they are not close to their birth families) but keito is very close to his family so he has to grapple with the cognitive dissonance for a good while

By six months time, he's used to their living circumstances and has affection for the three of them, but in his mind theyre housemates, not family. Like when someone asks about keito's family, his mind still immediately goes to his parents

It probably takes a year or so for keito to finally think of them as his family

(Staring at the words i have written) this is not found family, this is forced family

Gizzia: It's found as in Satoru and Osamu found them and kept them Me: OSAMU DIDNT EVEN FIND HIM, KEITO WENT /TO/ HIM!!!

The Mamiyas

Idk how the family thing is going to go. Like theyre changing their legal last name to mamiya???

Scanning over japanese name change procedures and thinking maybe not<3 i think japanese bureaucracy might be worse than american

Maybe its possible that satoru adopts ryou and osamu into his family registry so everyone thinks theyre a gay couple with a child, but then theyd still be samejimas

(It would be better of them to be samejimas instead of arisugawas because satoru owns all the houses. Obviously)

And then keito would be. Well they can't adopt him too because keito's dad is literally satoru's boss

Samejima could fake keito's death and keep him away from his family? BUT I FEEL LIKE THEYD BE FOUND OUT PRETTY QUICKLY IF KEITO WAS LIVING WITH SATORU

Well maybe its a non-legally binding family where satoru and osamu are back to living together again, satoru has pulled strings to get ryou adopted by osamu, and then he twists keitos arm into moving in with them as roommates

(Or keito moves in of his own volition, with his main motivation being that hes SUPER CONCERNED ABOUT LEAVING RYOU IN THERE)

Satoru and Osamu

Would osamu and satoru still be fighting at this point. I think the years apart would have calmed them down a little

Instead of punching satoru, osamu just slaps his a-- you know what never mind. Actually i think they would just verbally argue but without much bite. Because theyre family now

Vaguely remembering that bit in arisus route where osamu was like "we were partners in crime and i was even thinking about asking her to marry me" well osamu you have a new mamiya who you have committed several crimes with so what will you do now.

[Editing note: I want it noted that my brain short-circuited when Satoru was like "I feel like a newly wed bride". why did he say that]

General KORS Family Fluff

Osamu is the one who picks ryou up from school most of the time because he works from home but the first time keito does it ryou is just so happy. Ryou thinks keito is the coolest

Satoru is the one who teaches ryou how to cook so when hes older ryou ends up with really weird culinary skills. He does not know how to fry an egg sunny side up but he can whip up hollandaise sauce like its nothing

Satoru starts ryou in some kind of martial arts class and osamu hates it because ryou keeps trying to show osamu his skills (ie punching him in the leg)

Keito is still playing in a college lacrosse club and the whole family comes to watch his games. When ryou cant see over the crowd (i dont know what lacrosse games look like sowwy) satoru puts him on his shoulders

Osamu and keito take turns reading ryou his bedtime stories. Sometimes when they both have time they both read to him. Osamu is really good at the evil monster voices and robot voices, and keito is better than him at doing female voices

Despite being shorter than keito, satoru cannot fit into his jackets and coats because his shoulders are just to broad. He can fit into some of osamus longer coats because osamu likes buying clothes a size or two too big. Few of their clothes are viable hand me downs for ryou because he grows up short

Wait. But maybe ryou would grow up to be taller in this scenario because keito makes sure he drinks his milk. So maybe he would fit in their clothes

Satoru's Parental Tendencies (& other adults in Ryou's life)

(Growing realization) i think after keito and ryou move out for work/college, satoru would have the worst empty nest syndrome imaginable

(Assuming osamu satoru or keito doesn't set their house on fire with everyone inside in five years time)

Satoru ends up like a clingy overbearing mother who gets really upset when keito wants to move out for his Vaguely Defined Future Career and only calms down once osamu is like "uhhh dude chill" and keito promises to facetime every day

(I just think this is really funny because keito has his own family who is alive and who he is on good terms with but his actual mom puts up way less of a fuss than satoru)

After that satoru starts redirecting all his attention and affection towards ryou and is just overall insufferable

Ryou: im thinking about going to kyoto for college Satoru: absolutely not you will choose a school in tokyo and you will live in this house

Satoru is the strict parent who is prone to hysterics and osamu is the laissez faire parent who has to console his wife (i am of course delusional). Its like a sitcom

Keito rounds off ryou's Trio of Adult Figures as the unconditionally supportive older brother so i think between the three of them, ryou grows up to be pretty okay??? As okay as you can be when youre a member of the Mamiya family ig

They all frequently go to dinner at the suou's too so ryou is decently close to keitos parents

New Car!!

Anyway. If they all moved in together, satoru would have to buy a new car

Now i think a honda accord would be a good car for a family of four, but it might be a bit cramped if two of them are over 6ft tall, so it might be better if they had an suv

And also satoru loves his foreign cars so he wouldn't buy honda anyway

Okay so the volkswagon touareg could be a good option because it is a luxury suv from germany. However pre 2006 this suv was REALLY big so i dont think it would fit very well in the streets of japan

Cheese: samejima also is really big and doenst fit well in the streets of japan

Suvs werent as big of a thing in 2003, so maybe satoru would go for a sedan anyway... If satoru's going to gravitate towards european luxury brands, then the mercedes benz s class would be perfect for him. Its about the same size as a honda accord

Phle: [the Mercedes Benz S Class was] like literally my old car, it was a 2003 model too

During my playthrough of DDD, the KORS family au helped keep me sane. I think it's a neat idea. i think if it actually happened (and Osamu and Satoru took Ryou in as well) they would've started murdering people within the year, but this isn't about that!! If I wanted insane angst, I would replay DDD Keito/Ryou.

I kind of want to write some sort of fic about this weird family... But after playing EX, my brain has contacted the natsumiya virus and I haven't been able to stop thinking about that. So we'll see lol. I might archive some of my AU twitter threads for that ship onto tumblr, too, because I'm pretty fond of what I wrote.

Wow, this is the first time I've made a post like this on tumblr since I left in 2019! Writing longform is pretty fun.

[ellies-enrichment]

I don't think I will be able to survive tv Tommy being left alone and miserable like in the game 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Like getting shot and Maria leaving him

Although they might change it since he is now expecting to become a father bc it would be really weird if both Maria and Dina leave the Millers with their young children bc they kept obsessing over killing Abby

Hope this makes sense lmao 😑

This makes sense dont worry it makes so much sense that it activated my Tommy is my Favorite Miller gene and I'm gonna word vomit

If it makes you feel better, I like to believe it was actually a mutual decision and that it wasnt necessarily Maria's. It doesnt make it better but all things considered, he begged her in the note he left to keep Ellie safe and not let her follow him. I can only Imagine how much he talked to her about it in person before leaving and because she let Ellie and Dina go(encouraged them to), Jesse died. He had two hurt kids, himself, no horses, and Jesse's body that he had to drag back to Jackson (someone said it was a few weeks on horseback & they were definitely on foot at this point) It's a messy situation but I truly do believe that it WAS a mutual decision in the game for them to break up. It was Mutual or it was Tommy in my mind.

I can't handle either Tommy or Ellie being broken and alone when all they have is the other so I'm desperately hoping that gets changed somewhere so at least maybe at the end they come back together. The way they end things badly makes me upset more than anything and I understand why Tommy was frustrated but I hope he and Ellie will be okay in the show

I also think since Maria is having a kid that they wont do JJ. I think they'll trade JJ for TJ because I can't see them having two babies. Idk why it just seems unreasonable to me. Ever since that episode I've been like "oh well rip Jesse Joel its Tommy jr now" I dont know how that will work for Ellie and Dina in a time jump but I hope Tommy and Maria can at least figure out their issues for this.

ALSO tv Maria is worse(tm) when it comes to rules than game Maria. Ellie shouldn't get permission from her it would feel wrong. (Preferably she'll leave with Tommy but he wouldnt let her do that) so Ellie leaves without permission and Tommy and Maria can't argue about her letting Ellie, Dina, and Jesse get into trouble.

Again though, having a baby may change her attitude. She might be like "bring the dumbass home so my kid isnt fatherless" in front of Ellie, the once again orphan.

The writers have themselves a sticky situation I'm not even on surface thoughts ive spent so much time thinking about how season 2 Tommy is going to be and how the whole situation with Abby will play out

[littlelambdrgnfly]

Oh my gosh i would die for an animated beatles series. i think that would be so cool. I'm so passionate about art of the beatles in general, more than i can express, and i think that would fit a lot better/ be more interesting. I think it'd also be better if so many people are so expectant for the casting to look like them. No problems on casting if you can just animate them :)

I will honestly be relieved if it doesnt happen. music biopics arent my thing either. many will disagree with me but i hated the freddie mercury biopic :( </3 loved rocketman though. But im always suspicious of movies being made about very complicated topics, especially if theyre making it just to make money. i think if they do end up making 4 movies about them, it will inevitably be bad since all 4 of their lives are so hard to represent in the format of a movie (thats at least what i feel)

And i didnt even think about their lives being almost similar during their times as beatles since they spent maybe like 60% or more of their time together up until maybe 1967. Great point. Even if it was about when they were more separated from 1967-1970, i still dont think their lives were varied enough to make 4 individual films about them

sorry im going on but you are still a beloved blog i go back to now and then (lol) and a cool person i think, so im glad i could get your opinion and also just love talking about this (since i havent been able to talk about it with another beatles fan so far) - person who sent the question about the biopic

Honestly, ever since I mentioned it, I’ve been obsessed with thinking about an animated Beatles series! Like, my god, it has the potential to be so good! I keep planning it out in my head, like each episode would be at a specific time, early years, Hamburg, Beatlemania, etc… A talented animator can express so much with so little in a way that live action usually can’t touch, and that would be so important in a rich story like the Beatles’. You could even do each chapter in a different style, or with different artists, just to highlight the changes they’re going through! God, someone get me in a room with a Netflix producer, PLEASE.

I didn’t even see Bohemian Rhapsody and I adore Queen and Freddie Mercury. As soon as I heard that the band was involved with the making, I knew that it wasn’t gonna be good. 😅 I really don’t watch any musician/actor biopics. Celebrities, and families of celebrities, are always going to make themselves look as good as possible, even if it means making a worse movie. But the whole genre is just so predictable— you’ve got a young person who loves entertainment but they’ve got some kind of barrier holding them back, they break through, they experience fame, they hit a low point usually with substance abuse, and then they either get better or die. You can’t really help it, it’s just the nature of a celebrity’s life, there’s always going to be the same elements. I mean, there’s a connection as to why Amadeus is so heavily fictionalized, not even told from Mozart’s perspective, and why it’s the best music biopic ever lol. There’s a real fine line between keeping enough of the true story and making an engaging film, and I don’t think that many filmmakers are up to the challenge.

Thanks for sending these asks! I love talking about film and television and the awful awful decisions Hollywood seems intent on making lmao! 💖

[grapecaseschoices]

But I'm glad you're having such a fine time, who is your tav going for?

I do have some problems with the game, but overall it's fun to play. Probably wyll or laezel. Initially I was gonna go for shadowheart bcs I really liked her character design and my tav also hs that similar kind of dry sarcastic sense of humour. But after having her for a while in my party, she got on my nerves real quick. I tried out some races and she almost always had something to say about it. Im not thst far into it and I like astarion but the fact that he can leave ur party if ur character kicks him in the nuts sent me and now I can't take him seriously. I think my tav enjoys messing around with him. I just keep throwing spells at him and reviving him and he hasn't left yet so he's a trooper. 😂

I was playing as a tiefling originally but they kept having stuff to say about them being a tiefling and it got kinda annoying so I changed it to something else. /lh 💀

Playing as a Sorcerer is so much fun I can just make shit explode. Idk how to use astarion though, I just make him throw arrows and hide, he doesn't really do much in fights, but he's funny so I keep him around. I might get rid of shadowheart, but she's also a cleric and provides good heals so idk. She's so fine but she's really got a poll stuck up her ass so idk. Some of the remarks she makes about certain races and some of her actions towards a certain character because they are that race (don't wanna spoil it) just kind of put me off especially with her being white. I'm aware it's fantasy and stuff and I haven't finished the story, but anyways we'll see, maybe she'll get better. 😅

Wyll is my fave so far, he's super underrated!! I do wish there were more romance options of color though. I think so far I've only met one which is Wyll. 😭😭

sorry for the late response! i have not been my best the past weekend!

I do have some problems with the game, but overall it's fun to play.

Me a salty, hater: Feel free to share~~

. I tried out some races and she almost always had something to say about it. Im not thst far into it and I like astarion but the fact that he can leave ur party if ur character kicks him in the nuts sent me and now I can't take him seriously.

DOES SHE?? I have done an half-orc but she hasn't said anything?? Unless I wasn't paying attention. Who does she say shit for? I know Giths for sure, and I imagine drows. Also ROFLMAO. I mean TBF TO HIM! hahaha

I was playing as a tiefling originally but they kept having stuff to say about them being a tiefling and it got kinda annoying so I changed it to something else. /lh 💀

omgoodness. the druids right? omg so like i have a druid tief and i thought it might be like double the fun bc of the grove, but whew. literally every breath like: WOW YOU DEVIL YOURE SO EDUCATED FOR A A DEVIL. WOW HAHA DEVIL. it's like dude. 1. not a devil 2. heard the joke the first three times, ain't yall tired? so far proving to be worse for my half-drow but havent made it far.

Idk how to use astarion though, I just make him throw arrows and hide, he doesn't really do much in fights, but he's funny so I keep him around. I might get rid of shadowheart, but she's also a cleric and provides good heals so idk. She's so fine but she's really got a poll stuck up her ass so idk. Some of the remarks she makes about certain races and some of her actions towards a certain character because they are that race (don't wanna spoil it) just kind of put me off especially with her being white. I'm aware it's fantasy and stuff and I haven't finished the story, but anyways we'll see, maybe she'll get better. 😅

i mean he's good for picking locks. that was actually his sole purpose for me for the longest. then is tarted respecing him/multiclasing him thus he became my lock picker AND my arrow man in certain PTs. or my arrow man/shadow man. i am sure i dont use that to the full potential bc i am such a newb but wte. so you're not alone.

lmao i mean if you get a paladin or a druid or you multiclass someone else ... but honestly i havent really dealt with her racism outside of lae'zel -- which i do admit really annoys me. lmao. i remember i had a PT where it was lae'zel that saved her but she gave all the credit to astarion and im like ....... is this a glitch or is she just that ... bad re: giths. and nah, it's still annoying. the fantasy racism.

also i feel i under use my sorcerers bc im still figuring out the meta magic stuff but i do like them. are you wild magic then? both mine [i ended up respecing my durge to multiclass paladin and sorcerer] are dragon ancestory bc everyone and the mom says its best and also bc im a sucker for that shit.

Wyll is my fave so far, he's super underrated!! I do wish there were more romance options of color though. I think so far I've only met one which is Wyll. 😭😭

He is LITERALLY the only one. I know people wnat to include Karlach bc of what Larian did with her features [some people said she was modled after Gemma Chan] but I do not, because her voice actress is white. IDC. She is white. She a white woman who got surgery. Blame Z----l, if it makes yall feel better. She got a fetish or something. But Karlach is WHITE.

But Wyll is. [You know why. But also because Larian gives him so little but ... YOU KNOW WHY.]

It is one of my many issues with the game.

[weebsinstash]

I read Dont Pick Up The Trash You Threw Away bc you mentioned a trashy husband worse than Sovieshu and I am trembling with rage omg. Let me rant. THAT MAN. Holy shit and the way he just??? waltz in with a pregnant woman and has the AUDACITY to ask her if she is cheating on him. Also!!! He just!! Expects her to be okay with him having a mistress!!! And wonders why she is mad!!! Expects her to raise the kid and do his job for him so he can just be shitty and brooding with his inferioty complex and be chill with his mistress while homegirl gets nothing, not even respect.

The responsible women are always cold and arrogant according to these men. And then the Duke tries to act like uwu why arent you giving me attention? Im doing the work pls validate me :(((( I need you to know Im better than you :(((((((((((( Coming up with Oh no, why are you so upset? While they complete ignore the wife and deposit all the thoughtfulness and love towards the other woman. Does not even have the decency to keep the mistress away, flaunts her, and WANTED HER TO PLAN THE WEDDING.

The way he just constantly belittles her, too. Sovieshu was more respectful than this piece of shit. I wish those protagonists got concubines and lovers too and flaunted them, just to see the husbands/fiancées seething with jealousy.

Also why does he say she needs to give birth to an heir if he has already stated the child he thinks is his is going to be legitimized? He IS so much worse than Sovieshu you are right about that. Glad she (spoilers) finally said to break up on chapter 33. Wanna see this dude get whats coming for him while the protagonist enjoys time with the emperor. Goddamit LEAVE HIM.

(This is the post that reminded me to turn my anon asks back on from my main blog and yeah lmao I have been reading so many fucking manhwa and been so into em i was considering making a themed sidelong but, idk fnfkfbdk)

IT'S THE EXTREMELY HEAVY INSINUATIONS THAT THE MISTRESS ISNT EVEN ACTUALLY PREGNANT THAT DOES IT FOR ME, AND ALSO THIS FUCKING MAN SAID STRAIGHT UP "oh don't worry im going to throw her out after she gives birth" like DUDE THAT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF FUCKING WORSE BECAUSE IT SHOWS YOU CANT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY? YOU'D JUST PUMP AND DUMP HER AND STEAL HER CHILD?

Like, at least with Soveishu, I could at least understand the concept behind why he would fall for Rashta. From his perspective, he felt like Navier had become too formal and mature over the years and part of him was yearning for how she used to be and allegedly her temperament used to be similar to Rashta's, combined with uh seems like he was feeling confined by being nobility and Rashta's innocent ignorance was a breath of fresh air. He was with Navier for a pretty decent amount of time, since childhood, and he was selfishly trying to chase "the old days", so to speak, and up to the most recent chapter it's become clear that his relationship with Rashta was really just to fill the gaps in his relationship with Navier which... could have been fixed with proper communication? There's no doubt in my mind that if he had came at her genuinely about wanting them to be more affectionate and closer with each other that it could have had a positive change. By Navier's own words, she didn't realize how strongly she loved Soveishu until he started to do what he did and broke her heart to the point of sobbing in bed when she can usually stay so stone-faced for her position. Also, another "defense" of Soveishu is that he is under the impression that Navier is infertile and he is not (did he forget HE is the one who ate the abortion cookies?) and that he needed an heir and was trying to concoct a scheme to keep that child and make it his and Navier's, because in their high society, if you can't continue your lineage your position is over and will be taken from you

Iike even if soveishu is a stupid bitch he at least had SPRINKLINGS of a good intention?

THIS OTHER GUY IS JUST A DUMB PRICK THOUGH!! We don't exactly know his story with Sisley yet but I'm uh pretty insanely positive she's trying to pull some kind of political uprising since she's the former princess of a ruined kingdom? Since the husband is a Duke and he is not married to the FL? But can we talk about how this dumb motherfucker basically returned from war after 6 years and barely reacted to seeing his fiance at all? No hugging or tears or "i missed you darling", he just focused on getting his side piece up to her room? He didn't even eat fucking dinner with her but he can eat with the mistress, who he even gives the fucking Duchess' room that is supposed to belong to the FL? Also how did the mistress just happen to request a room with a lot of sunlight and the best room was the Duchess' room? She ain't in love with this husband, he's HER TARGET. Also like, if you read between the lines in how the fiancee speaks to the FL, he almost makes it sound like he isn't even sure how the child is his but it must be? So you know what I think? I think Sisley got him drunk and lied about them having sex, and he thinks "oh I was drunk, I have to take responsibility" but, HE'S NOT EVEN BEING HONEST OR GENUINE WITH THE FL ABOUT IT

I really like this FL because she is so capable. He went to war and she took over his position and EXCELLED at it. He had the nerve to tell her not to get involved in the dukedom's affairs when she has LITERALLY been carrying the duke's seal for 6 years? In their culture carrying the seal of a position is the same as holding the authority of that position so literally in name by the process she was unofficially the duke during that time. Can we also talk about what a massive red flag it is that her fiance OBVIOUSLY FEELS THREATENED by her intelligence? I just, I got literally fucking furious st the chapter where he's trying to actually do his fucking job and he's going over the budget for the rainy season and he's all "oh why is it so expensive for this season, my wife is so silly she doesn't know what she's doing, I can fix this right away" BITCH I'M NOT EVEN IN POLITICS AND I KNOW IMMEDIATELY ITS BECAUSE RAIN IS FUCKING HEAVY AND CAN DAMAGE BUILDINGS!! BUT HE WANTS TO FEEL SMART AND RUINED IT, RUINED IT, AND SMIRKED IN HER FACE AFTER ASKING HER IF SHE NOTICED ANYTHING WITH THE BUDGET (AS IN, "DID YOU NOTICE HOW YOU FUCKED UP")

I hate him. The arrogance is off the fucking charts. You want to mention him accusing her of cheating, well, I actually saw a video the other day, in reference to Soveishu, talking about how if a true narcissist accuses you of something you've never done and never would do, like cheating, it is absolutely something they have done before or are already doing. And that clicks for Trash Husband who's name I can't even remember tbh. He is subconsciously aware he's being an unfaithful fucking prick and he is projecting that guilt and insecurity onto the FL. I CANNOT WAIT for the next chapter. I want to see his face. I want to see him react to being fucking dumped. you KNOW he's just going to treat her like she's throwing a tantrum, but I think its fucking furious he said, even just in anger, that she should leave his home. He's the one who said it first. He's obviously an emotionally unstable little cunt and I want him to go down. Jokes on you buddy you're left with your scheming mistress who ain't even knocked up and your fiance who is the smartest woman in the kingdom is gonna go get railed by the Emperor. Fuck you. Eat shit and die.

As a final point, if you want more stories where the FL leaves her husband/partner and starts having a better life, I also have suggestions for "Today The Villainess Has Fun Again" which is about a Korean woman who reads a novel and basically says "this FL is stupid, i could do better" and god was like "oh bet? Let's see then" and she gets reincarnated as the insanely wealthy protagonist and starts using her massive wealth to basically do whatever she wants. Something i think is really interesting and I hope they touch on is that it is being heavily implied that the body's original owner is still in there and is observing the FL and may have even let her take over her body in the first place? So I'm curious how that plays out, if FL is going to be sent back home after she's achieved happiness, or if the original protagonist will let the new one live a good life

There is also "Father I Don't Want This Marriage" which is so fucking cute by the way where after the FL Juvelia leaves her fiance Mikhail he starts literally having a manic spiral and losing massive amounts of weight to the point he is sickly because he is just so pathetic, his bitch mom even tries to beg Juvelia to get back together with him because he literally stops eating, but still fuck him because he's extremely manipulative and after Juvelia refuses to take him back he starts trying to scheme and even starts putting people in danger just because he sees the FL as a possession that has been stolen from him.

Oh and they weren't officially together but another story that really burns me up is "Vengeance from a Saintess Full of Wounds". The protagonist Lua is a saintess candidate who can heal people, but she is considered defective because she cannot heal someone without physically taking on their ailment. It is said outright that a saintess is only as powerful as her genuine feelings and empathy and that Lua has above average healing powers because she is so empathetic. Her crush a knight suffers massive wounds that she heals, but it makes her extremely sick while she's healing. She wakes up after some time and finds out her "childhood friend" is one of those "im actually just a fucking psychopath who was emotionally manipulating you into thinking we were friends for kicks, im actually a freak who hates you and was controlling you like a puppet for fun" kind of bitch who LIED and said SHE healed the knight and also told the knight that Lua had been extremely cruel to her and basically made Lua a social outcast when she was already treated extremely poorly. I would also like to get in another dig at the friend and say the story makes it very obvious her friend has lackluster healing powers because she's so extremely two-faced and one reason she "befriended" Lua was to manipulate her into healing people that she couldn't heal herself. Later Lua ia being bullied and finds out that she has another power, the power to transfer all those sicknesses and injuries she had treated in the past to other people, and decides to take revenge, helped by the prince, who they reveal pretty early on is in love with her because she treated his skinned knee when they were both little kids.

OH AND FINALLY! You want a husband who is like cartoonishly dumb and shitty, a new manhwa is "I Want To Become The Emperor So I Need A Divorce". The FL Arnoah is of the imperial family with her abusive brother as the Emperor. He marries her off to a small Duke who treats her like shit and is stupid and incompetent, like he is cartoonisly cringe. Arnoah has to put up with her husband treating her like shit while he runs around with his mistress and he even publicly humiliates her by doing shit like hosting plays where the actors are based off of them and Arnoah is depicted as a raving jealous lunatic compared to the poor Duke and his innocent lover. Arnoah had a clause in her marriage that says whatever titles she receives will also be given to her husband, which becomes a problem when a messenger mage tells her that her brother and also the next successor were both poisoned and that SHE is now in line for the throne. But wait she can't, because then her dumbass husband becomes emperor and we can't let that happen! So she makes a magical contract with the mage that he cannot deliver the obituary for one month, because in that time, she is going to get divorced, and THEN announce the Emperor's death and become Emperor. It's one of those "the first chapter shows her becoming emperor, then reminds time to show how it happened" kind of story telling and my god I cannot wait u til she rubs this idiots nose in the fact that she became Emperor by playing him. Fucking idiot. He ia so fucking stupid he is literally unfuckable. THE FL HATES HIM SO MUCH SHE IS LITERALLY SECRETLY TAKING BIRTH CONTROL LMAO

Oh and sorry. I have a lot of recommendations. Another one, the husband isn't quite in regret mode because the story is fairly new, but another story is A Divorced Evil Lady Bakes Cakes. This FL is so sweet i honestly cannot even remember why the story calls her evil, I think she was just given a bad reputation but didn't even do anything 🥺 she stayed with her fucking loser husband for NINE YEARS NINE FUCKING YEARS and for almost that entire time, he had a mistress who was his true love. Like, I get it, his mistress actually came first and he was forced to marry the FL. But instead of being a man and making his lover a concubine or something and being direct with his wife that their marriage is political, he just treats her like shit? And she's nice to him about it? She kind of ignores the fact he has a mistress at all? And he's just a prick to her, and when they have a divorce and she starts her own bakery, he mocks her? Fuck you buddy, now she's going to hook up with your brother who treats her like a queen and he's probably going to steal your position as next in line, too. Dude this husband is such a douche that HIS FATHER THE EMPEROR literally throws tea in his face and tells him to go get her back because he liked her and thought she was extremely intelligent and capable. HIS OWN POPS IS CALLING HIM A CHODE. You love to see it. Delicioso~

As a reverse "do not read this" recommendation i am hate reading The Mistress Runs Away because this ML is literally fucking vile but he gets the FL in the end after, god I could write paragraphs but basically he's an untrusting dickhead who accuses her of being unfaithful, abandons her, turns out she was pregnant, doesn't even believe the kid is his, treats her like shit, treats the kid like shit, allegedly eventually becomes nicer but it doesn't even matter because he's a fucking asshole and they SHOULDNT be together. Cannot emphasize enough that the reason they end up together is because the FL is basically a sheltered naive idiot who grew a toxic codependency on him. I don't even like the FL because she doesn't stand up for herself and let's him bully her son. It's one thing if you hate yourself and have no confidence, it's another to stand by and watch the father of your child deny his parentage and even refuse to ride in the same carriage as your son and forces you to ride with him, leaving your son in another carriage all alone. Like. Girl you deserve him at this point you're both hopeless 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[waterberry-strawmelon]

dungeons and daddies season 2 rant!

this is mostly a vent post bc i’m just not a huge fan of the way the stakes in this story have been handled in the 2nd season so far! obviously i love the podcast so this is no hate on it, but i just wanted to get this out there and see if anyone else feels similarly, or if perhaps season 2 gets a little less messy and forcibly dramatic later on!

*Note: As of right now, I just finished Episode 13—aka the huge lore dump episode lmao! So maybe things get better after this and i just dont know it yet!

This is a lot of word vomit cuz I wrote down all my thoughts in my notes app on my phone stream-of-consciousness style, so if something doesn’t make sense, that’s why!

My problem with season 2 is that the rules of the world and of the story keep changing. The rules of the GAME aren’t changing, but the verisimilitude of the story itself is—they’re playing Calvin Ball with our suspension of disbelief, and it’s not working for me.

It’s like the Steven Universe Future thing of suddenly going against the previously-established rules of cartoon logic; suddenly we’re NOT supposed to laugh at cartoon slapstick and instead supposed to now see it as REAL INJURY that just…healed. But that breaks the audience contract!!

In Dungeons and Daddies, we’re supposed to believe that a lot of these jokes in season 1 don’t really matter. So when they DO in season 2, that’s not what had been implicitly agreed upon by the audience and the creators/writers about the story. 

So with this in mind, that we are now supposed to believe that these characters’ actions have real consequences. Willy Stampler is an abuser. If we’re trying to do a redemption arc, we need to fucking SEE that.

For this season to represent growing up and realizing that adults are fucked up and make fucked up choices and can grow and change and get better or get worse or maybe weren’t ever as great as you thought it was. Those are cool ideas! But for us to take them seriously, they’ve got to be handled with care; we can’t just be told these adults made fucked up choices and when it was posited as a joke, only for it to actually be SERIOUS (i.e., if for example, henry and darryl kissed in season 1 and it was played as a joke that may or may not have actually happened, it’s never addressed again, so it’s really not heavily staked in canon—then you cannot in season 2 say that actually, darryl and henry had a lot of tension after they got back to earth and it was awkward for the rest of their lives, but we didn’t see it it just happened off-screen, trust me. BECAUSE THAT’S NOT HOW IT WAS TREATED IN SEASON 1!!! YOU CAN’T REWRITE WHAT’S ALREADY HAPPENED—IT DESTROYS OUR BELIEF IN ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THE STORY. SHOULD I TAKE THINGS AS JOKES, OR LITERALLY? If I took all the stupid shit in this podcast as real and genuine and serious, then this would not be a story i wanted to watch, because literally every character is an asshole. But that’s not how the story is sold to us!

It’s kind of like how ultimately, all the dads in S1 were kinda shitty, because they were played by actors playing Dungeons and Dragons as a comedy podcast. If the podcast had treated that stuff seriously, it would’ve been an ENTIRELY different tone, and no longer comedic. But now suddenly we’re supposed to take all that shittiness as if it WERE serious fact! But that wasn’t the implicit contract we’d agreed upon by engaging in this “comedy podcast” story!!!!!!!

I think it’s cool how the new dads/S1 sons are essentially acting just like the dads in S1 did, only we’re seeing from the kids’ perspective how it actually affected them. 

But at the same time…idk. It’s like you’re mixing metaphors. It doesn’t resonate with me, because i can’t be invested in any of it. Are the jokes real? I can’t get a feel for what kind of emotional weight i should be granting any and all of what the characters say and do.

The best thing about S1 is that it didn’t have to be believable; but in S2, they’re trying to make us believe in this stuff that’s not believable. So you’re losing my trust and interest in this narrative, y’know?

AND FURTHERMORE!!!!! I hate that Willy’s character has now been reduced to “narcissist = bad (which on its own is…not a great narrative to deliver about ppl with personality disorders), but he was in prison for a long time and realized he was mean so now he’s a nice guy! forgiveness <3.”

As if he didn’t abuse his son. ajskfmxghgjk. idk what kinda shit anthony’s trying to tell with this. it doesn’t have to have a moral or soapbox moment or whatever, but it almost erases the POWER of Ron’s arc in Season 1. by getting forgiveness from the narrative, without getting forgiveness from his actual victim.

This feels like a Rian Johnson movie just trying to be quirky and “subvert expectations ooooooooOOOoOoOoo” without that subversion actually feeling REWARDING or EARNED or JUSTIFIED.

In my personal opinion, I think it’s just not as strong a choice to try and get into character work this early in the story, as compared to the pacing of Season 1. Sure, we did get some good Ron growth for an episode at like… episode 14? But the dads didn’t get actual ARCS until after the halfway mark!!!!!!!! Sometimes they really didn’t even resolve themselves until episode 66—three episodes before the final episode.

and it feels like a lot of these story beats are trying to do the work of character arcs without setting up a sturdy enough character foundation to begin with.

i saw a lot of fans online praising the choice to have such important plot stuff happen so early, and while i agree the previous monster-of-the-week formula was getting a little dull, i also don’t think the characters have really felt fleshed out enough yet to get thrown into this sort of thing. like, i personally dont really care about scary’s complicated feelings because i havent had 30 episodes to get to know her yet (and more importantly—neither has BETH. the actors themselves are still figuring out their characters!) the characters’ emotional beats it feel much more rushed and much more forced, imo. which makes the foundations of this story feel unsteady, bc i dont have any handholds to come back to and connect with. i havent been able to connect with the characters OR the story yet, so having all this thrown at me as if it’s really meaningful just falls flat.

Overall, timeskips need to be handled with care. If we jump forward in time and suddenly everything’s different—just for the sake of uncomfortability and subverting expectations—you’ve really got to justify those character changes within the narrative. And so far, nothing’s feeling particularly justified. At least—you have to do this if you want your story to be meaningful and/or SAY something about TRUTHS in OUR WORLD outside of this fictional narrative.

I can tolerate all this nonsense if it’s not actually trying to reflect anything in real life, but if I’m supposed to take this story seriously as a funhouse mirror representation of real world themes, then you’ve got justify your narrative choices. Otherwise, you’re just confusing your actual motive.

Basically, to try and be comedic AND have real world dramatic tensions and significance and themes to connect with an audience, the drama and comedy cannot come from the same place.

Here’s an example: In Jojo Rabbit, the comedy comes from pointing out and emphasizing the ridiculousness of the Nazis’ ideology. The film does not derive its comedy from the most dramatic, real-world-reflective moments: the human connection between Elsa and Jojo, or Jojo and his mom; the danger Elsa found herself in under Nazi oppression; parental death; etc.

And vice versa, the comedic moments are not the emotional crux of the story. Even Jojo’s violent accident is played more lightheartedly; if they were to make THIS event (the grenade exploding and almost killing Jojo—a ten year old child) the driving tension of the film, then for us to feel actually INVESTED, it could not have been played as comedic as it was (i.e., the scene where they’re rushing him into the hospital on the gurney and his bloody thumb’s up pops into frame).

 Dungeons and Daddies Season 2, on the other hand, takes these emotional beats that have already been established for COMEDY, and tries to turn THAT into the dramatic, emotional crux of the show. And i as a viewer am just not as likely to be invested in that conflict or dramatic tension or to find the messaging about real life to be saying anything particularly resonant or meaningful.

TLDR: Dungeons and Daddies Season Two suffers from GENRE CONFUSION!!!!!!!

If ultimately Anthony and the rest of the gang are trying to say, “This is what life is like sometimes!” (which is, imo, what EVERY dramatic story is trying to say), then they’re not actually doing that, because they’re manufacturing these situations to fit what they want to say, rather than presenting the narrative first AND THEN ALLOWING THE MEANING TO DEVELOP NATURALLY FROM THE RESULTING EMOTIONS!!!!!!! Fuck!!!!!!

So basically, it’s still easy for me to enjoy the show—but the narrative does not provide me with enough material for ANY EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT, and that is really disappointing :(

[kenobster]

I haven’t seen you post anything on ao3 since July, did I miss something??? (referring to your zero notes zero kudos post)

No, you didn't miss anything on my ao3. I've just been going through an Anakin whump phase on my tumblr lately (with answers to asks and miscellaneous posts and fanart -- some of which I already deleted when they got 0 notes, including a fanart I posted today. So even if you go looking, you wouldn't find all of them). So because of that, whether or not it's true, it personally feels like ppl aren't interested in certain things I'm excited about (tho the like.... three or four people who have shown interest, tyvm). And I'm really grateful to everyone who has read my fics on ao3. If I didn't have that huge bewildering amount of support to fall back on, I'm sure I'd be a lot worse off. So I greatly appreciate that. And at the very least, if all else fails, my mom will show support for all of my posts/fanart/fics lmao. Anyway, so I'm well aware lots of ppl dont have those things to rely on, so I'm hella not trying to take them for granted. ❤️ I'm very grateful and feel very lucky that so many people have said such kind and heartfelt things about my writing.

But there are certain things I still carry a lot of shame for liking. No one could ever make me feel ashamed about 5PE, but my biggest dream is to one day draw Anakin dubconnishly sucking Palpatine's dick. And my favorite fic universe to fantasize abt rn is the Vader Mpreg one. And those are things I do feel ashamed for liking at times. So when those are the things I post (currently on tumblr) that get 0 attention (esp when other things are getting attention), it sorta starts to reinforce the shame I'm already feeling.

Like, I spent 8 hours yesterday drawing that fanart I posted (which I deleted a few minutes ago). I skipped dinner and stayed late at work for 2 hours on Friday to finish writing this post on my work computer (bc my personal pc crashes if i try to make tumblr posts). Did I make either post to get notes? No. It was fun for me. Just the process of it was fun for me. I enjoyed myself so much!!! Totally worth it.

But do I regret posting them publicly instead of just keeping them for myself and my friends? ... Honestly, yeah, I kinda do.

Probably people did like the posts but are afraid to be seen liking things so dark and deranged. And like, that's okay, because I'm brave, I'm super brave, and I will be the first to post any deranged content out of any group of people. But I have limits, too. And if people are willing to read 5PE or shadow AU but not willing to read about Vader's uterus, then I start to feel less brave. :/ And I start to become demoralized over other things too.

Like, I was set to post chapter 10 of 5PE this weekend, but I haven't been able to work on it. Every Shadow, being less dark, is even harder to work on. Because if my perception is that ppl find me sick and grotesque and deranged for my most fucked up ideas (that's my perception, not necessarily reality), then it hurts to have my tamer content be supported instead.

Is that fair to yall? No, not at all. Am I trying to guilt trip anyone? Absolutely not. It's just a current unfortunate reality that's bumming me out, and there's not much anyone can do to change it. I just gotta let the feelings run their course.

Anyway thanks for reaching out anon. I feel better having been able to air all of this. Though I'll probably still step away to some extent (how long? who knows. The depressive episode will decide. But prob not for that long.

[timoswerner]

hello. i’ve been reading your thoughts about conte and i agree with some of your thoughts. i’m also reading comments from people and trying to get a better understanding about the situation. if you suggest we should sack him, who do you think would be a good replacement? considering that whoever the manager is, it’s still gonna be a challenge if the owners or the club keeps doing nothing to back the manager. as i understand it, this situation has become a cycle and it can’t be fixed by only changing managers (or do you think it actually could?) thank you! sorry if you have talked about this before and i probably missed it.

hello!! this ended up being really long so i'll put it under a read more

so to be completely honest i don't really have an answer on who i think should come in next. i know tuchel's name keeps getting thrown about and i did like what he did at chelsea (he's the only chelsea manager i've ever liked whilst they were managing them haha) but surely at some point we have to move away from the ex-chelsea manager thing lmao it is a little bit embarrassing us always going after their castoffs. i'm really torn on poch coming back because i think it might be too soon, but then at the same time, there's only really 5 players left from his time so there's plenty of new ears that would be listening to him and he would play better football than we've got now. i know a lot of people still think potter could do a job but i think he'd be out of his depth with us too, i've not seen a single thing from him at chelsea that makes me think actually yeah he'd be a good fit for us, and i wasnt overly impressed with him at swansea (cooper did better with a worse squad) so i personally dont want him anywhere near us. after poch i was actually like 'i'd settle for howe' and i think he's done great job at newcastle but unless they sack him for a big name or something, he's not leaving them for us. at this point in time though i really just feel like anyone but fucking conte, i shouldn't be physically at matches thinking if i closed my eyes i could easily fall asleep lmao. it's awful that my dad (and others) didn't go to the north london derby of all games because they just can't stand to watch us play right now.

i do agree that we shouldn't just keep sacking managers. the only club that's worked for is chelsea but they thrive from chaos lmao and we are not them. we have been better when we stuck with a manager. however, conte isn't showing me anything that makes me think 'yeah he just needs a bit of time to sort this out'. but whatever happens even if we don't sack conte now, he's not going to be here in the summer and i've said that since the start of this season. there's no point in backing a manager now if he's not going to be here in the summer because then you just end up with a new manager with a bunch of players that aren't his own and especially with the way conte loves older players.

i think the whole backing managers thing isn't necessarily black and white. personally i think conte was backed last january in a way that poch never was. conte was definitely back in the summer with the likes of richarlison - i'm still shocked we paid so much money for him (i like him but i'm not sure he's worth 60m to us - but maybe we'll get more out of him next season). we've also cleared out players under conte (okay some only on loan but they're not physically at the club) which we didn't seem willing to do before him. when you look at poch's last summer he was backed with the money we spent on ndombele, lo celso and sess and clarke - but firstly it was too late, and secondly especially with ndombele it wasn't money well spent. sess is the only one still at the club and bless his soul he's not having the best time. so i think there's an element of we actually are willing to back managers now, but we just don't seem to be spending the money well. paratici is now the one who is meant to be dealing with all this, and i think it's unfair that when it's a signing people like they praise him but when they don't like it they blame levy. i think paratici's signings have been a bit hit and miss, and i don't trust his taste in managers at all. i don't think he's the guy for us, and all the stuff with the investigations in to juve leave me a bit nervous tbh.

i think levy needs to accept these big superstar managers just aren't for us. we are never going to act like chelsea when it comes to spending money, so bringing someone in who complained that chelsea didn't spend enough money for him was never going to work. i think we need to take a step back, get someone in who is actually willing to work on a project and plays somewhat progressive football. i was willing to give mourinho a chance and move away from how i was used to watching us play in exchange for actually success with trophies, but after him and now conte (who is absolutely shite in cups lmao) not working i just want to go back to enjoying watching my team. if we're not going to win trophies i'd rather we play with some flair and excitement than not win trophies still and be absolutely horrific to watch. i also want my manager to feel like he is part of the club, and not someone who's just doing us a favour and we should all be so thankful because he was successful at other clubs, you know?

to sum it up - a change in manager to someone who is actually willing to coach and improve players does fix a lot of problems, but the club need to take a look at themselves. if you are not going to back a manager and spend the money like chelsea then don't bring in managers that can only work with that. go back to what we know works and is sustainable but just spend money more wisely when we do spend big, then we will be grand.

i know a lot of people found windy annoying for being very anti-mourinho but i think his little blog post here sums up how i feel quite well too