#there is a sad child living beneath their skin

[nightlyrequiem]

The Canary Cage Chapter 1. Inertia

Masterlist AO3 Next

w/c- 3,436

One meeting in a dingy bar on the cheap side of town. One sighting of you. The raw sadness in your eyes drew Valeria in. A parasite attracted to the taste of your tears. She'll chew you up and spit you out, but what she doesn't realise is you bite back.

A/N: Tags will be updated as chapters progress. Original plan was to outline each chapter but I think if I do that I'll never actually start writing the fic. So I'll just wing it. Also, I rewrote this like four times. Also also, listened to a bunch of Massive Attack - specifically songs from Mezzanine. Teardrop is my personal favourite. Also merry Christmas

Tags/Warnings: Tags Will Be Updated as Story Progresses, WLW, Mental Illness, Unhealthy Relationships, Angst, Violence, Referenced Self-Harm, A Healthy Amount of Self-Hatred

༺☆༻༺☆༻༺☆༻༺☆༻

Manicured nails pick at the delicate, sensitive skin on your lips. Grabbing ahold of a small sliver of it and peeling it away to reveal the rawness beneath. The voice of a siren carries through the smokey bar. Tauntingly caressing your ear drums. In the shadows of the hall leading to the stage you stare up at the woman singing. Harlow. Unblinkingly and jealously. Low bass reverberates through the wood-paneled walls.

In the dim yellow lights Harlow still manages to look angelic. Impossibly soft yellow hair brushed over her dainty shoulders. You tear your gaze away from her to survey the crowd tonight.  It's smaller than usual. Not by a lot, maybe five or so people less than usual. A majority of the patrons are men. Eyes flash in the corner and you meet them momentarily before quickly looking elsewhere. Those eyes aren't for you anymore.

On stage, Harlow bows and blows a kiss.

"Thanks for coming tonight." She calls out in her stupidly soft voice. It grates on your nerves. Subdued applause rings out as she turns heel and walks towards the hall - towards you. You don't look at her as she passes, bumping your shoulder as she does. You straighten out your dress and gloves and walk forward, stepping onto the stage and taking your place Infront of the microphone.

The Fireflower, like most of the older businesses in Las Almas, is old and in desperate need of a new coat of paint. It's had the same owner since you were a child. It's on the west side of town and it's frequented by people that live there too. People who lack much money and choose to spend what they do have on illegally homemade beer that is guaranteed to fry their livers faster than regular alcohol. It is cheaper to produce, however. And when you live in a 'protected' neighborhood where the cartel demands a 'security fee', you have to find ways to get creative with money.

You flash your teeth in a smile at the crowd. Pretending that they're more interested than they really are. One of them is. Peter. He's also been here since you were a child. Often seen slumped over in front of the doors next to a puddle of his own vomit. He whistles and raises his drink in support. Your smile is a little more genuine when it reaches him. You don't bother with introductions. None of the faces here are new anyway. Three songs. Get through three songs then you're free to leave. Go back to your dingy, one bedroom apartment and cry yourself to sleep under the obnoxiously loud AC unit.

It's not that you don't enjoy your job. You like to sing, like being on stage and admired. It's just doing it here sucks out any possible joy that could be found in it. The bar is grimy and falling apart and its loyal patrons match that. You glance over at the corner. Where the eyes were. They aren't on you anymore. Their owner, a tall dark-haired woman, are gazing deeply into Harlow's eyes. Your grip on the microphone tightens, your voice weakening at the sight so you look away. Object impermanence.

Halfway through your second song the doors open and a woman walks in. She's notable because there aren't many women in the bar as it is. She's also openly carrying. She looks around, eyes briefly settling on you before shifting to a man in a far corner. You don't pay much attention to her as she strides over to him. He and the woman begin to engage in what looks to be a very serious conversation. It's not one that lasts long, she jerks her head to the side and he reluctantly rises to a stand. One few too many beers making him unsteady on his feet. He walks out, leaving the woman alone.

She finally turns her attention on you. You're used to being stared at, that's just what happens when you sing on a stage. People have looked at you in all manner of ways. Lustful, indifferent, judgmental. Some people have really intense stares. Ones that you can feel like a hand firmly planted on your shoulder shaking you. Demanding your attention. Demanding that you stare back.

You finish your second song and begin your third and final of your set. You sing it with a little more conviction. More passion. Because a face comes to mind whenever you hear or sing it. Downturned eyes and arched brows. Your eyes shift to the corner where the tall woman is. You don't know how many times you've traced the slope of her nose or brushed her unruly mane of hair away from her face.

You finish the song. Glad to have it over and done with. You bid the audience a farewell before walking off stage. Into the dark hallway. One of the lightbulbs along the wall has burnt out, leaving a dark patch of vague ominousness. You walk back to the dressing rooms. Passing a few of the girls smoking. They don't speak to you, something you're fine with. In the group dressing room, you grab your coat and purse from your locker. Slipping your arms into the cheap, water damaged leather.

You walk back out into the bar.  Weaving around the tables.

"Hey!" A slurred voice calls out your name. A heavy hand claps you on the back and you grimace.

"Hi Peter, enjoy the show?" You ask.

He smiles at you, sun-damaged cheeks dimpling. "I did, come have a drink. Come." He ushers you towards the bar. Reluctantly, you follow. Peter doesn't have many friends.

He pulls out your stool for you and you take a seat. Having to shift to get comfortable. The padding has worn away over the years. Leaving barely any protection between your ass and the hard wood.

"What will you have?" He asks. Scratching his unkempt beard. "My treat."

"Um... just coke." You say. Smiling nervously.

"Coke? C'mon sweetheart this is a bar, you have to drink!"

You shake your head. "Not tonight." You say. You don't like drinking. It doesn't make you fun or sociable. Just angrier and more bitter than you already are.

Peter shakes his head back at you like a disappointed father.

"Alright." He concedes. "I remember when your father used to bring you around here." He sighs.

"Hm. Yeah." You nod. The Fireflower was your father's main haunt and maybe that's part of why you hate it so much.

"He was a good man." 

"He was." You reply. Good, if you weren't his daughter or his girlfriend. Peter claps you on the back again.

"He and your mother would be proud, you've grown into a fine young woman. Too good for this town."

You smile but it doesn't reach your eyes. Your mother couldn't find the time to be proud of anything you did, and your father was incapable of being proud of anyone but himself. Peter lifts his drink in a toast, you lift yours back although you aren't sure what you're toasting to. While drinking, your spine tingles with the feeling of eyes watching you. Discretely you turn to see who it is but can't notice anyone outwardly staring.

The bartender comes back around with a whiskey lemonade and sets it in front of you. He goes to leave but you stop him with a hand, concerned about being charged for a drink you didn't order.

"I didn't order this." You tell him. He nods understandingly. 

"I know, it's from the woman over there." He nods his chin over at the back corner. You tilt your head to see. It's the woman who walked in earlier. She's not looking at you, instead her eyes are on the stage, focused on the other girl singing.

Turning down drinks always makes you feel guilty but it's a necessary evil. Not only do you try not to drink, but you've come to learn that accepting them from strangers leads to expectations. The bartender leaves before you can give it back so you slide it over to Peter.

"If I were given free drinks, you best believe I'd never turn them down." He says, happily taking the glass.

You smile lightly. "They usually come with a price, Peter. Just not one that's monetary."

Peter replies with a low hum.

You stick around for a while longer. Keeping Peter company. You finish your coke and set down your empty glass on the counter.

"I should be getting home now, goodnight, Peter." You say. Your farewell is lost on him as he has already passed out. Head resting on the rough wooden counter. You get up and head towards the exit.

It's cold out. As cold as it can get in Las Almas. You walk to your bus stop and check the app, hoping you didn't just miss the bus. You didn't. A small win for you. You put your phone back in your pocket and wait. Watching a piece of litter drift by aimlessly in the wind. Something glass shatters in the alley across the street and a drunken yell rings out. Somewhere else a girl laughs at something. Down the street Dolly stands. Dark purple dress and extravagant fur coat on display. You watch discreetly as a truck pulls up to her. Watch her walk up to his window and chat. After a couple of seconds, she gets in and they drive off.

It gets to a point where you begin to shiver. Wishing you brought pants to wear over your dress when your bus finally pulls up. 'El Sin Nombre' has been spray painted over its side. Ominously red, the paint having dripped before it dried. You step on and pay the 13.95 peso fee. There aren't that many people on board. One of the few pros of working the night shift is not having to deal with crowded transport. You walk past a slumped over man and take a seat at the back.

It's only a five-minute drive, a fifteen-minute walk if you're fast, home. However, it's not safe to be out past dark. You had a colleague a few years ago, a sweet girl who lived in your building used to walk home. Her weathered missing person poster hangs up on the front of the worn brick apartment complex. You fish out your key and open the door, walking inside and slamming it shut because if you don't it won't close.

You almost trip over a little girl on your way up to your floor.

"Jesus. Maria, what are you doing pout here?" You ask, frowning. What is she still doing up is another question. Maria simply shrugs. As usual she doesn't speak or look you in the eye. You sigh and reach for her hand, which she promptly gives you. The two of you walk down the hall to her door. You brace yourself for what you're going to have to deal with next.

You knock on room 20 and one of the sickly green-blue lights flicker. There are a few seconds of cherished silence before muffled stomping draws closer. Maria tightens her hold on your hand. The door swings open, revealing a very short woman.

"What?" She barks. Glaring up at you.

"I found your kid." You reply, gently ushering Maria towards her mother. She scowls and pulls Maria inside. 

"¿Qué te conté sobre tocar en la sala?" She hisses. There's no idle chit-chat or thanks. The woman slams the door in your face.

When you finally make it back to your apartment, you're exhausted. You've done what you could with the place. Paintings you made yourself to hide the holes, cracks, and stains in the wall. Saved up to purchase fluffy pink rugs to cover the water-stained floors. Fake plants to decorate the counters and shelves because the real things seem to die regardless of how much care you provide them. Still, despite the pink and colorful nature of your living space, it somehow still seems sad and dull. 

You drop your bag down by the door, soon followed by your coat. You promise yourself that you're going to pick them up later, but you know you probably won't until you need them for tomorrow. Tomorrow. You shove the thought of tomorrow out of your head. Shove the fact that you're going to have to wake up, do your hair and makeup, put on a cute but uncomfortable outfit and go back to that sad little bar on 8th Street.

You wander into the kitchen and look around your cupboards for something easy to eat. You find a dubious bag of nuts that you forgot about. The milk has gone bad and you're out of eggs. Looks like grocery shopping is on your to-do list for tomorrow.

You peel off your dress and let it fall to the tiled floor. The water is cold as it sprays your nude form. You hurry your shower. Using up the last of your favourite body wash. You feel like you'll never get warm when you step out. Forcing yourself through your usual routine. Brush your teeth, wash your face, moisturize your body. Finally, you get to stumble into your room and crash into bed. Enveloped by soft pink pillows and sheets, watched over by your childhood stuffed animals. You reach into your nightstand for your pills. The bottle is almost empty. One refill left.

The cycle repeats. You stare out at the crowd blankly before over correcting yourself with a large smile.

"How's everyone's nights going?" You ask. "Good I hope, I know mine is." You broke down into tears ten minutes before this. "This next song is Valerie, one of my personal favourites, always a good time when I get to sing this." You begin the song. Voice far more enthusiastic than you feel. Each note burns your throat and the smell of smoke is worsening your headache. "Won't you come on over stop makin' a fool out of me. Why don't you come over Valerie? Valerie, Valerie, Valerie."

You're on closing shift. Helping the bartender wipe down sticky tables. There's a puddle of vomit in the corner. You pretend not to notice.

"Hey, can you go to the back and get a couple bottles of Smirnoff?" He asks. Lazily wiping glasses behind the bar.

"Sure, Tony." You reply. You set down your rag and walk past him into the back. You watch your step as you head down to the cellar. The wooden stairs are rotted.

Grabbing two bottles you go back upstairs, setting them on the counter for him. You turn away but he stops you.

"Oh, hey, someone left these for you." He says, placing down a vibrant bouquet of roses. You raise your brows. 

"For me? Are you sure?" You ask carefully. Even Harlow, with her angelic vocal cords and appearance to match doesn't receive flowers. Tony pushes them towards you. 

"No other girls here with your name." He replies.

You grab the bouquet with care. Inspecting it. The roses are real and look expensive. You gently trace your fingers over their petals, feeling the smooth velvety surface.

The bus is running late. You shift on your feet impatiently. You really need to get your license. However, you don't make enough to afford a car. Or the car insurance. The distinct tapping of heels approaches you and look over, seeing Dolly approaching you, diamonds glittering around her throat.

"Public transport is so unreliable." She rasps. She reaches into her bra and pulls out a cigarette carton, offering you one.

"No thanks, I'm trying to quit." You say. Dolly shrugs and lights her own. Taking a deep inhale and coughing roughly.

"That's a beautiful thing of roses you got, sweet girl." She says, eyeing the bouquet clutched in your hands.

You smile timidly.

"Thanks, got them from work." You reply, feeling a little proud.

"Wish my customers would give me flowers." She sighs, shaking her head. "Who're they from?"

You shrug. "Not sure. Tony said someone left them for me."

Dolly gives you a knowing smile. "Maybe Tony is the one who gave them to you. He's always been a shy boy."

"Ah, maybe." You say. Looking away. It wasn't Tony. He doesn't play for your team.

Dolly blows out smoke rings.

"Did you hear about the man found in the canal this morning?" She asks.

You frown, feeling heavy. "No. Cartel?"

"That's what the police think." Dolly says. "The man had twelve pounds of coke in his apartment, my guess is that he stole it from them."

An engine rumbles as the same truck from last night creeps towards the two of you. It stops and the window rolls down, revealing the man inside.

He's older than you, younger than Peter and Dolly.

"Thirty minutes with you and your friend." He says gruffly. Before you can even respond Dolly storms up to his window.

"Get the fuck out of here you good for nothing trout." She snaps. "Don't show your face around this corner again. Or I'll have my boys cut off your balls."

"Your boys?" He laughs.

"Eric and Thomas."

His laughter stops abruptly. He narrows his eyes at Dolly, expression dark and cruel. However, the threat that Eric and Thomas must pose seem to mean more than his pride. He rolls up his window and speeds off.

Dolly curls her lip in disgust.

"You have lipstick on your teeth." You murmur.

Dolly swipes a finger over her teeth. "He didn't pay me the agreed amount last time." She says angrily. "His excuse was that I'm old."

You frown. "What a pig."

Dolly sighs, turning to you. "My advice, Sweet girl," She says as your bus pulls up. "don't ever do this line of work."

The next night is the same. As it always it. As it always will be. Walking back to the dressing room you bump into someone.

"Oh, sorry." You mumble.

"Hey."

you look up, downturned eyes, arched brows. "... Erin." You greet stiffly. Erin's gaze lingers on you for a few seconds before she brushes her hand through her dark hair. She nods once and moves past you.

Something venomous coils around your heart as you put on your jacket and pull on some sweatpants. Speaking to Erin has ruined your night completely. Why was she even back here? Probably for Harlow. You scowl and storm out of the dressing room, purposefully knocking into another girl.

"Hey-" She exclaims angrily at you.

You clench your fists as you leave the bar. You lean against the foreclosed building in front of your bus stop. Avoiding the trash littered along its side. You check the app, seeing that you just missed the bus. You feel like crying. You feel angry. You punch the brick building and immediately regret it. Hissing in pain and cradling your throbbing hand to your chest.

"I'd hate to be that building." A smooth voice says. Your head whips up. The woman it belongs to looks vaguely familiar. Dark hair cut into a layered bob, severe brows. She's wearing a dark turtleneck and coat, hands tucked into her pockets.

Your face heats with embarrassment.

"I was just, like, I slipped." You mutter.

Her lips twitch up in amusement. "I broke my hand once by punching a wall." She tells you, leaning beside you.

You flex your hand, worried that it may be broken. It's stiff and sore. "Oh."

"You have a lovely voice." She complements. "Shame you're wasting it on the Fireflower."

You feel slightly defensive at her jab. The Fireflower is rundown, and you hate working there but it's where you've made most of your childhood memories, good and bad.

"It's not that bad." You reply.

"Sure." Valeria nods. "But you're still only making 7,500 pesos, no?"

You don't reply to that. It's not like minimum wage is exclusive to the Fireflower.

"I didn't mean to be rude." The woman says. "Valeria." she raises her hand. You look at it. Tempted not to shake it. You grab it gently, surprised when she lifts it to her mouth, pressing a chaste kiss to your knuckles.

You stare, caught off guard. You're not sure if you're flattered or weirded out. You give her your name and she repeats it, then nods her approval.

"I'll be seeing you around, chula." 

Valeria walks off into the night. Disappearing into an alley. The interaction leaves you feeling disrupted. It was weird. She was weird. But that doesn't stop a butterfly from emerging from it's cocoon within your stomach. 

[impossible-rat-babies]

the desire to explain how eyrie’s echo works v. how the fuck do you explain that. like funny guy feels love like god feels love is not even scratching the surface. like how do you say that

[yikes-ajax-thats-sad]

♥️ If you knew why the last one left me you would have passed me by ♥️

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

What if instead of threatening to take Ford's eyes, Bill just took Fiddleford's?

Tate still remembered the night his father's sight was taken from him.

"What have you done to me, Stanford?"

He felt the storm coming even before the first lightning struck. From the very moment he opened his eyes that morning until the very moment he lay back down to bed, he could feel a vicious tension brewing in the otherwise serene household.

Storms were very uncommon at Tate's house, and on the rare occasions they did arrive, they never stayed for long.

Yet, after a quiet breakfast full of anxious, unmet glances and clattering cutlery that rang far too loudly in the silence of the table, he knew that this storm was going to be unlike any other storm he'd witnessed before.

A prickling, disquieting static seemed to have made itself at home underneath his skin, that day. It had made every hair on his body stand on end, and an odd stinging sensation to dance across his spine and tongue; an uncomfortable urge to duck and take cover low on the ground nearly overwhelming his every sense. It was like waiting for the shattering thunderclap to sound after the sky turned white with a blinding flash of light. He knew what was coming, and the anticipation was unbearable.

His mother and father had acted as though nothing was wrong; as though they didn't feel the looming presence of the darkening clouds growing like a murky gray forest on the ceiling.

He hadn't been able to fathom at the time how adults could seem so all-knowing, and yet simultaneously be so utterly clueless about the very obvious happenings that surrounded them. Now, though, he just found it strange how adults often tend to assume children don't feel the stifling weight that they hung around themselves; as if children didn't breathe the same bitter choked air as their parents did. It wasn't even as though they did a very good job at pretending; his parents always were terrible liars.

When the lightning finally struck, it set the house ablaze.

He heard the thunder from his room, and felt the crackling heat crawl up the stairs and seep through the gap beneath his door. He'd laid in his bed, hand clasped nervously across his chest and looking up at his room's cloudy, weeping ceiling as a cacophonic explosion of noises came bursting from the living room downstairs. The fight had erupted with such unprecedented force that in Tate's young mind, he'd felt genuine fear of the house collapsing atop them all from the sheer force of the yelling.

The smell of burnt tongues gently wafted through the air, and Tate briefly wondered if it hurt his parents when they scorched their mouths with such scalding words just as much as it hurt for him to hear it.

It was a big fight; a terrible, big fight; so loud, and so very angry, and helpless, and desperate, and betrayed, and sad.

The back and forth screeching seemed endless, and eventually the screaming words began to muddle and merge into one another until they hardly even sounded human anymore. Suddenly there were animals wailing in the living room downstairs, and Tate could do nothing but listen helplessly and grip his interlocked fingers tighter; hoping that if he stayed still enough, then the growling beasts that were shattering plates downstairs wouldn't come upstairs.

But then,

then,

something changed.

The shift was all too sudden; too abrupt; too quick even for the usually sharp witted child to catch on, and before he knew it, the screams of anger suddenly shifted into one of pure, unadulterated horror.

"Fiddleford, your eyes- good lord, your eyes! Let me look at them!" "Don't touch me! I- I must call Stanford, he's done something to me. Him and that demon, they've cursed me." "For Heaven's sake! Please, forget about that damned Stanford of yours for one moment and listen to yourself! My husband's gone mad, mad!"

And suddenly his parents were human again.

Tate was restless in his bed as his heart seemed to beat bruises against his ribs, his sweaty fingers digging crescent shaped grooves into his skin as fear enclosed its frigid claws around his throat in a vice-like grip. He couldn't breathe.

The storm was over, and it should have reassured him, and yet he was anything but.

Curiosity and fear had been what forced him to kick the sheets off himself and creep his way down the rickety wooden steps. He had to know what happened, he had to know what damage the storm had caused, he had to know.

His steps were far from quiet, and the creaking of the floorboards beneath his feet hardly did him any favors, but no one answered the calls of the squeaking wood. No one came peeking out from the living room to stop the obviously sneaking presence that was tip toeing through the halls; No one called out to check on their little child; all was silent, and calm, except for his mother's soft sobbing coming from the kitchen.

When Tate eventually found his father, he saw

devastation.

The storm had been merciless. It had left nothing behind but a shuddering husk of a man. His father was shaking like a leaf, shoulders tense and back hunched over as though bowed by an incredible burden. The telephone receiver was held in his hand like a lifeline; as if it was the only thing in the world that was keeping him tethered to sanity, and somehow, Tate didn't doubt that it was.

Curled up on the floor in the dark, muttering and trembling, he dared say his father looked... small.

It almost felt surreal to see his father in such a state, like witnessing a God collapse, or a star's light dim to nothingness. His father had always been a solid, permanent pillar sho seemed able to hold up the whole world on his shoulders, and still stand tall and proud despite the weight.

And yet, the crumbling remains of a once impermeable monolith now lay scattered across the hallway floor and splattered across the walls.

The sight had scared him.

At the time, Tate hadn't known what had happened. Even to this day, he still wasn't too sure he understood what exactly had taken place in that living room for his father to have so sudddenly gone from seeing to blind in the matter of seconds.

His mother had tried, in vain, to explain it to him later, to try and make him understand when he was eventually old enough to hear the gruesome tale; but still, he struggled to fully wrap his head around it.

"It was as though his eyes just sunk into his skull," his mother had recounted to him with a haunted look in her eyes. "They suddenly just vanished into the empty sockets of his face, like someone pulled them out from inside his head. There was no blood, no resistance, no tearing. It was as if his eyes were simply plucked out of sight by some invisible hand."

There had been blood on the walls when he had found father back then, a long trail of gorey wet red smeared all across the lovely yellow wallpaper. He realized only now, recalling the memory, that the blood back then had not been from his father's eyes, but from the deep gouges he had dug into his face with his nails, his searching fingers desperately looking for eyes that weren't there beneath his empty eyelids.

"What have you done to me, Stanford?"

Tate had never heard his father's voice sound so raw, so afraid. It was so unlike the familiar comforting drawl he'd grown to love and recognize, it almost sounded alien, coming from his father.

"I can't see, Stanford, I can't- my eyes, they're gone. Why are they gone? What have you done?" "Answer me, damnit, what have you done?"

His father never got his answer, because whoever was on the other side of the line soon hung up, and his father was suddenly left blind and alone.

[lucyrose191]

BROKEN DECISIONS: HEALING| T.WOLFF

Pairing; Toto Wolff x fem!Schumacher!reader

Summary; You had learned to channel the pain from Toto’s actions into the need to protect and love your child. You were healing but will that be affected by Toto finding out the reason you suddenly disappeared?

Warnings; Age gap mentioned but not specified. Fluff.

Author’s Note; I know I said I’d post a Seb fic before this but this was so much easier to write and I had a lot more motivation for this. Possibly a part 3 if you want.

F1 Master List, Part 1

September 2024

The pain that had consumed you so overwhelmingly all those months ago had seemingly disappeared as you stared down at your daughter who lay in your lap, eyes closed as she slept peacefully, subtle puffs of air released as her chest raised every few seconds.

The thick tufts of bright white hair that sprouted from her head marked that little Alina Elisabeth was most certainly a Schumacher.

Maybe you should feel guilty for the relief that settled in you at the lack of resemblance she shared with her father but the love you felt in your heart as you stared down at the person you cared the most for in this world shrouded any negative emotion you could possibly feel.

The loneliness you had felt was also no longer lingering in your chest, your family had been your rock since the moment you arrived in Switzerland, your mother especially. Mick ensured her was there for you too, even though he was busy with the world endurance racing, he made sure he called frequently and tried to visit when he could.

You sent him a photo of his new niece as soon as you could after giving birth to her and he was already besotted and excited to meet her.

The pain from birthing her had also long been forgotten, unlike the memory of holding her for the first time.

It was hard to describe the rush of emotions that were bursting beneath your skin. You would go to hell and back again if just to experience this for the rest of your life, to continue living in this bubble of warmth and completion.

There was the slightest bit of lingering sadness towards the knowledge that Toto hadn’t been by your side yesterday and witnessing his daughter being brought into the world, maybe it was even unfair that he had been robbed of that opportunity but then you remembered how you had tried to tell him the news of your pregnancy before you left and how he refused to listen.

You weren’t going to beg and plead for him to listen to what you had to say, no matter what there news was.

You had a lot more respect for yourself than that.

It didn’t matter anyways, you didn’t need him and you’d ensure that Alina didn’t need him either. You have full confidence in your ability to raise her alone and give her the best life she could possibly have, a life that would provide her with opportunities others could only imagine having.

November 2024

Alina Elisabeth Schumacher was now two months old and each day it felt as though your love for her multiplied.

Even through the rough patches where you seemed lost in knowing what she needed or what was wrong, it didn’t deter you in the slightest. You had smiled more in the last two months than you had in the last ten years and it felt riveting.

Never would you have thought that a child could fill a gap in your life that you didn’t even know existed but here she is and your heart is full.

Your life felt whole and complete and you owed everything to her, to your little girl who had fixed your healing heart without even trying, just by simply existing.

Today was an important day, Mick was coming home after finishing the world endurance season, which he had performed amazingly in, and it was going to be his first time meeting his niece in person.

You had FaceTimed so much in the last few months, Mick hadn’t wanted to miss any part of his niece growing and so every night at around six he’d ring so that he could say goodnight to her, no matter what time is was where he was at.

Alina loved her uncle already.

It was around 2pm when you heard the front door open followed by the sound of bags dropping to the floor and Mick walking into the kitchen.

You didn’t waste any time in wrapping him into a hug. "Hey, how are you?"

Mick tucked his head into the crook of your neck and tightened his arms around you. "I’m great, it was amazing but how are you, are you okay?" He asked, pulling away and holding onto your shoulders as he looked you up and down.

You smiled at him in pure happiness. "I’m amazing, she’s amazing. Come and see her," you told him and grabbed his hand, pulling him upstairs to your room.

Alina was napping which is all she ever did at her young age but you didn’t care if she woke up because the look of awe on Mick’s face as he set his eyes upon her would make it worth it.

"She’s tiny," he whispered, reaching a finger inside the cot and smiling as she wrapped her fist around it. "She looked so much bigger over the phone, she’s beautiful, Y/N, really." He looked up at you and smiled.

"That’s because she takes after me," you smirked and he rolled his eyes, slowly pulling his hand away before turning to you.

"Do Mum and Gina know?" He asked.

You didn’t need him to emphasise, you both knew what he meant, the unspoken topic that neither of you brought up throughout your entire pregnancy and even after.

"No," you replied honestly, swallowing uncomfortably.

"Y/N-" he sighed.

"Don’t," you cut him off. "He didn’t want to know, Mick. He didn’t care and I’m not going to beg him to."

The sympathetic look he gave you in response to the defeated words you spoke filled you with the need to cry but you didn’t.

You simply stood there for a moment before sighing. "I think I’m going to quit."

Mick gave you a look of horror. "What!?" He whisper shouted. "You can’t, you’ve been with Mercedes for nearly a decade!"

You shrugged. "I don’t want to work for him anymore, not when he is adamant on acting as though he didn’t give me the wrong impression, as though I don’t have his daughter at home who he doesn’t know about because he didn’t care enough for me to tell him."

He didn’t say anything, knowing that your point was completely reasonable. He just hoped this didn’t ruin everything you had worked for.

December 2024

You walked side by side with Mick through the pits of the Yas Marina circuit in Abu Dhabi, drawing quite a bit of attention to yourselves, not only because this is the first glimpse anyone has seen of you all year but because of the three month old you held in your arms.

You walked into the Mercedes garage as though you weren’t about to reveal why you hadn’t participated in this season, pretending you didn’t notice how everyone paused what they were doing to stare as soon as you crossed the threshold.

Their stares burned into your skin but none more than Toto’s, you felt the trail his eyes left across your entire body and the way they settled on the sleeping baby in your arms.

You ignored the burning sensation he was leaving on your skin, instead focusing on the mechanics and other team members that were approaching to speak to you and introduce themselves to Alina.

It was around twenty minutes later before you were left alone, Mick took this opportunity to take Alina to go and show her off to anyone who would give him the time of day, you loved how much of a proud uncle he was.

"Can we talk?" His voice was low and gravelly in your ear as he spoke in a hushed whisper, startling you momentarily.

You scoffed and shook your head. "You weren’t up for talking in January, I’m not up for talking now."

"It’s important," he tried to reason and you laughed.

"What I wanted to say was important but you didn’t care, what was important to me wasn’t important to you. It’s not nice being on the receiving end of that, is it?"

You had hit the nail on the head with that one and by the stunned silence Toto was confined into, he knew that as well.

"Please, I know I don’t deserve it but can you please just come and have a civil conversation with me in my office," he pleaded, knowing that he really had no leg to stand on because he was the one that was completely in the wrong.

You wanted to make a comment about how poetic it was that he wanted to go and talk in his office, just how you did all those months ago and yet you had no luck but you didn’t.

You relented and agreed but that did not mean you were going to be easy on him.

You sighed and stood up from your seat, following him to his office.

You refused to speak first as he shut the door which resulted in a thick, heavy silence for a couple of minutes as you both stood there, Toto staring at you whilst your eyes strained on the ground.

"What happened in Abu Dhabi last year-" he started causing you to look up at him, not expecting him to even bring that up considering how certain he was to avoid it before.

"It wasn’t a mistake, I just- I spent two years fighting my feelings for you because you deserve so much more than I am. The baggage I come with- I’m divorced twice and I have kids and I’m so much older than you and you deserve so much more than to be with a man that comes with all that and can’t give you everything."

You stared at him blankly though you were surprised that he had supposedly felt something for you for an entire year before you noticed anything.

"I never thought of you as anything but my boss and a friend but then last year, the way you looked at me and the way you acted, I thought you liked me and it confused me, my mind was baffled the entire season but no matter what you caused me to feel, I fought against it but then with his forward you were in Abu Dhabi, you made me think you actually wanted me and even if you didn’t then that’s fine but what isn’t fine is leading me on with your stares and your touches and then leaving me alone in a hotel the moment I gave in and even after that when I tried to speak with you, you ignored me and dismissed me. Do you know how used and disgusted I felt?"

You knew the look of guilt on his face wasn’t fake but that didn’t change anything, his guilt was nothing compared to what he had put you through.

"I thought I was doing what was best for you," he replied defeated, knowing how pathetic he sounded and how weak his response was.

"I couldn’t look at myself without feeling the urge to throw up after the way you left me there and it was all down to your insecurities which are ridiculous by the way. I can’t believe you think I’d care about how many times you’ve been married or how many kids you have or how old you are, I only ever wanted someone who loved me and treated me right, you could’ve done that but the man that spoke to me in January, I’ve never seen you like that and that man is not someone I would ever be with."

"You didn’t deserve that," he replied in agreement. "I was overwhelmed by the guilt I felt for leaving you there and trying to ignore my feelings for you which I thought were wrong to be feeling but it is not an excuse for the way I spoke or dismissed you, it was wrong of me. I’m sorry."

"I know," you shrugged. "But I don’t forgive you, not right now at least."

Toto shook his head. "I’ll earn your forgiveness." He said confidently.

"Okay." You whispered.

The air between the two of you shifted as Toto looked at you apprehensively, shifting on his feet. "Your baby-" your heart thumped loudly in your chest. "Is she?" He asked, not needing to continue.

You weren’t going to deny the truth and so you replied honestly. "Yes, it’s what I tried telling you in January."

The look of anguish that appeared on his face was heartbreaking to see because you could tell he truly regretted his actions but it was simply the consequences of his decisions, he was still able to make up for it.

"What did you name her?" He asked quietly.

"Alina Elisabeth Schumacher, Elisabeth after my grandmother."

"You chose well…. Could I meet her?" He asked carefully, not wanting to overstep with you but of course you would allow him to see her, not only because your daughter deserved a chance to have a father but because you knew he was a good father and he would’ve been there had you been given the chance to tell him of her.

"I’ll go and get her." You told him, swiftly walking passed him and out of the door.

It was George that happening to be holding her as you re-entered the garage, the man looking up at you with a pleased smile. "Y/N! I’m happy your back, am I getting my beginner back next year?" He asked as he handed her over to you.

You smiled weakly and shrugged your shoulders. "I’m honestly not too sure yet, George but I’ll let you know."

"No worries," he waved you off. "She’s beautiful by the way."

You thanked him before turning away and heading back to Toto’s office.

Alina was wide awake now and her dark eyes were looking around curiously as you walked through the small corridor.

As soon as Toto’s eyes laid upon her you practically saw how he immediately fell in love with her, his eyes softened as they took in her features, probably trying to find anything that resembled himself.

"I think she has your eyes, but that’s about it," you commented lightly causing him to laugh.

He stepped forward and held his hand out for her, smiling and laughing as she reached out and grabbed his finger before shoving it into her mouth.

He looked at her in awe, as if he couldn’t believe she was a part of him. He reached out with his other hand and tickled her cheek with his finger causing her to gurgle around his hand.

"You can hold her," you told him, lifting her out towards him. He looked at you unsurely but you encouraged him with a nod and that was everything he needed to take her into his arms.

Alina threw away her grip on his hand as he held her and instead pressed both of her hands into his cheeks and pressed her face up against his causing you both to burst out into laughter which resulted in her copying you.

"She’s so small," he muttered almost to himself but you heard him.

"She didn’t feel it when I was pushing her out but she does look it," you joked but also serious, it had hurt like hell.

The mention of her birth spiked a sudden interest. "When was she born?" He asked.

"September 3rd, she was two weeks late, didn’t want to leave I suppose so I had to get induced."

He looked at you worried. "You didn’t do it alone, did you?"

You shook your head, "No, don’t worry, my mum was there with me."

"That’s good," he replied, pulling away from Alina’s grabby hands and instead brought her into a hug, resting the side of his head against hers.

God did he look good holding her.

Alina cooed and babbled as she lied her head on his shoulder and reached her hand up to grab his ear and pull on it.

The immediate connection between the two was impossible to miss and it was sad they had both missed out on this but you refused to let yourself feel guilty about it.

"Thank you for this," Toto’s voice broke you out of your thoughts. "I know I don’t deserve it."

You shook your head. "You deserve a relationship with her, no matter what I wouldn’t have kept her from you."

He smiled and tightened his hold on Alina, still struggling to believe she was really his.

He had four kids. Wow.

He did not want to think about how he was going to explain this one to them.

"We should probably go back out there, there’s still a race that’s about to start." You mentioned, hating to break him out of his bubble but he had priorities.

After much coercing, you managed to get him out of his office but he kept his hold on Alina, he didn’t think the team would suspect anything, they probably just thought he wanted to hold her but even if they did have suspicions, he didn’t care.

Everything felt right as he held her, now he just needed to make it up to you and he would do everything needed for you to forgive him because he wanted this, he wanted you and this family you had created, no matter how long it took.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

People who asked to be tagged or asked for a part 2:

@pear-1206 @luckyladycreator2 @urmotheris @lightdragonrayne @viennakarma @woozarts @carolloliveerr @nuggetvirgo @myescapefromthislife @minkyungseokie @oatmealandsugar @hc-dutch @arieltwvdtohamflash @grayxiu @bigsimperika @emilyval1 @eternalharry @msbyjackal

[rooksamoris]

💞 — 𝐌𝐀𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐄.

💞 — in which you teach malleus a new phrase and he grows somber about your inevitable death.

💞 — malleus draconia x reader

💞 — warnings: hurt/comfort type fic. some descriptions of gore to emphasize heartache. reader does catch a cold. malleus is sad </3 mentions of death and mortality/fragility.

💞 — 1.2k words. various arab groups tell their loved ones 'taqburouni' meaning 'may you bury me' affectionately. i thought of malleus when i heard it again recently, since he very well would be stuck burying his loved ones. eid mubarak my lovelies!!

Taq-bu-rou-ni.

Malleus’s brows knitted in a bit of interest as he replayed your word in his mind, splitting each of the syllables to pronounce it the way you did. It was a foreign word, and for someone who knew bygone languages, this was a word he had not heard. You said it with a look of affection in your eyes. It was your way of being romantic, well, with the way you drawled the final vowel, that much was obvious.

“And what does that mean?” he asked, his bright green eyes following the shape of your silhouette as you walked. Those slitted pupils of his dilated. 

“Taqburouni? Ah, it means ‘may you bury me,’” you said, innocently. The words spilled from your lips like sugared blades, so sweet yet so painful. It clung to his skin and when he tried to pull away, it tore his skin.

He paused his walking for a moment, stopping you with him. Those words reminded him that he could spend a century dwelling on that term, while you could not even spare a minute. 

Taqburouni.

That phrase you had taught Malleus planted itself into his lungs and wrapped around his esophagus. He knew you meant it affectionately. It was your way of wishing him a long life, one long enough that he would get the chance to bury you. You had known all sorts of romantic sayings that bordered on being eerie and strange. The vines you were growing wrapped around his lungs and sunk their thorns into them greedily, causing sweet blood to splatter onto his ribcage.

He knew he would get the chance to bury you. His child of man was too frail to live as long as he.

His pause caused you some worry and you squeezed his hand, pulling it closer to you so that his knuckles hovered near your chest, “It’s weird, isn’t it?” you joked, your brows furrowed in concern, “It’s an affectionate way of wishing that someone you love has a long life… I get if it’s not your thing—I just—I—”

Malleus silenced you by placing his free hand on your head. He let it slide over your hair and behind your head. His long fingers threaded their way through some of the strands as he gripped the back of your head. They were like stubborn blossoms in a valley of wilting roses, desperate to keep you close and alive, “It is lovely, a fine way of showing affection,” he told you. 

The future king decided against telling you just how uncomfortable that term made him. It infiltrated his body like a strong virus, poisoning his body and eating away at his flesh from the inside. Just like the vines that you planted in his lungs, tearing him apart beneath the layer of flesh, muscle, and bone.

A smile came to your face at his reassurance and you kissed his knuckles, “I’m glad you think so, Malleus,” you told him. 

Taqburouni. He found it anything but lovely. Malleus understood the purpose of such a term, and he knew you were just being lovelorn, but Sevens. Each vowel was like a threat, each one getting closer to him losing you. Taq—and you were cut, bu—you were sick, rou—bedridden, ni—and suddenly he was back in the Briar Valley, standing before another tombstone. To him, it was purely unromantic. 

It was violent and it was cruel.

You shivered due to the cold breeze and his gaze hardened, “Let us return you to the dorm, beastie. You’ll freeze if you’re out any longer,” he said, taking his uniform blazer off to drape over your shoulders. This body of yours was so delicate. Too delicate.

“Oh, Malleus… but you’ll get cold,”

He laughed, “I think you forget who you’re speaking to,” he said, his eyes watching your body tense up slightly. That delicious blush covered your cheeks and he was tempted to freeze time right here. Surely there was a spell for that, that way he could keep you forever and your words, your plea that he buries you, would never come true.

Bashfully, you averted your gaze and kept walking beside him. Oh, how he wanted to pounce.

Days later, that poisonous word was still on his mind. 

It came up in particular when you caught a cold. The illness had been traveling around the school, your favorite duo from Heartslabyul had gotten it, but not nearly as bad as you. People had been coughing in class, sniffling as they walked through the halls—Malleus blamed himself for worsening it due to all the nights he dragged you away on romantic walks where he showed you the secrets of the campus.

Now he was sitting at your bedside in Ramshackle dorm. It was not nearly as dilapidated as it used to be. You had cleaned up a lot, bleaching whatever you could to kill sickness, and it still managed to sneak in. There were cracks in the windows… it probably made the nights even colder for you.

One of these beams could fall and kill you.

“Taqburouni.”

The blasted word repeated itself in his mind as he watched you squirm in your bed. Your breathing was shallow, you were sweating—he could end you with a raise of his finger, “Too fragile. Like a bird’s eggshell. All it would take is to push you out of a nest and then…” His brows furrowed as the back of his hand trailed down the side of your sickly face.

Your skin looked much less vibrant in this state.

This moment and thousands of others would pass him like a dream. One day he would bury you and then take the throne. Your bought of romance would end up being a dream. He would wake up with a crown on his head, black robes draping every inch of him, and the flickering memories you made here.

His fingers trailed down to your throat for a moment and he tapped the dainty skin with his sharp nails. Just the tiniest bit of pressure and you would bleed. Not even the strongest swords would break through his scales.

“Malleus,” you muttered, breathlessly as you tried to open your eyes. The light was too bright so all you could do was blearily squint at him before shutting your eyes again, “I feel so weak…”

“You look it too,”

“Huh?”

He stared at your face for a moment, taking in the way your eyes drifted back shut. Your brows knitted softly, and it made him want to kiss that space between your eyes, “Rest,” he whispered, his hand turning to cup your face. A bit of his magic traveled from the tips of his fingers to your skin, forcing you to inhale a green mist that would temporarily put you to sleep.

Malleus felt the urge to keep you in this state of sleep for one hundred years. Instead, he settled for leaning in and kissing your forehead, “May you bury me,” he whispered. He promised to find a way to keep you alive with him for good. He would find a way to keep everyone and everything he loved alive with him till he breathed his last flame.

[b14augrana]

Kiss of Strife

Football has always been your safe haven, but your home life gradually starts to manifest in different ways away from home, which doesn’t go unnoticed by your captain

Alexia Putellas x teen!reader

masterlist

Warnings: this story contains depictions of family issues associated with emotional unavailability and forms of abuse. read at your own discretion

A/N: an alexia x teen!reader angst fic was requested so here it is!! i decided this will be multiple parts as well so i hope you enjoy this chapter and the rest of this little series

(i wrote this pretty late at night and it isnt proofread so please excuse any mistakes regarding the tense, grammar etcetc)

Everything is perfect.

You’re scoring goals for your club and bagging assists. Your name is no longer a strange string of consonants and vowels but a recognisable word within the community of Cataluña, and it is only because of an ambition you dedicated the rest of your life to pursuing.

That’s just in the face of football though.

At home, there is a drought. The four walls of a family house are meant to behave like a dam which stores love and affection in the place of water, but your house is devoid of that.

Your house fosters a bitterness that doesn’t go hand in hand with anything along the lines of love and affection. The drawings on the fridge, created by a 5-year-old you, have faded over time, the ink being nothing more than splotches in some areas — a testament to the lack of care and attention your efforts received.

Relationships are barely surviving on simple greetings and empty ‘I love yous’. You crave something that is dangerous to want, but in your heart burns a desire to get the hell out.

Your lullaby is the faint yelling from the living room as you shut your eyes and focus on the gradually increasing volume of both voices, contradicting each other and trying to stab each other with no blade.

Your little sister crawls into your bed, her body flush against yours, another little arm wrapped around hers. Beneath your covers, there is warmth. Beneath your grip, there is safety.

During the school holidays, a child is supposed to savour every waking moment they spend at home and appreciate every day of it. You find yourself asking God why that isn’t the case, as you walk to practise with your sister’s hand in yours.

She sits on the sidelines picking grass as you train with your teammates, dreading the inevitable passing of minutes as you practise skill after skill. When you retreat to the bench for a quick water break, she runs up to you, bunches of chamomiles clutched in her hands that she begs to insert between the weaving of your braid.

From the day of your first training with the team, Alexia was drawn to you. She blamed it on her captain instincts, seeing as you’re the youngest on the team and therefore has the most potential, but now it’s gone beyond her captaincy. She’s known you for months, almost a full year now. She isn’t just your captain anymore.

She isn’t aware of the reality of your home life beyond the telltale signs such as the slightly sunken skin below your eyes or the bruises that taint your skin and are allegedly caused by your ‘clumsiness’. She knows there is something more to the extra effort you constantly put into training and games — she doesn’t know yet that it’s the pent up anger, sadness and fear manifesting in more productive forms.

You pour your heart and soul into the movement of the ball, in hopes that you can pursue your dreams of running away from what is restricting you from pursuing even greater dreams, an actual dream.

School starts back up for your sister. Things have been looking up for you, a huge burden off your shoulders. The house hasn’t shaken with another argument for a while and for once you get to know what silence is while you sleep, really sleep.

With every passing day, you find your memories with your father to resemble a garden; you can’t have a garden without flowers, just like how you can’t have memories of him without doing anything with him. When you were young, your garden was comparable to a rainforest, a new species in every corner, a kaleidoscope of beauty..

Until there was no more new species to plant and nurture, and the ones that already existed were getting neglected because all that you receive when you look at them are sour memories of what once was — the gardener you used to be, how rich the soil was, how steadily the flowers grew and how proud you were of your garden.

Your garden is dead now. It has gotten to the point where he doesn’t care about planting new flowers or watering the plants that already exist, leaving them to die of thirst. He’s absent and his emotional unavailability killed your flowers.

The little girl in you that wanted nothing else but love from her parents, loved that garden with her whole heart. She would’ve done anything she could to plant one more flower, she would’ve used the last drop of water in a drought to water her plants.

Alexia noticed something different about you today. The way you bounced around rather than the usual trudge… you had actual, sleep-induced energy.

Your sister also isn't with you. Alexia later asks you about it while you two are getting water and she learns that your sister is at school, and there is a smile on your face that she didn’t even realise had been absent for days until she saw it again.

Alexia has always been nice to you. The others treat you like a teammate, but she treats you like a friend. It feels like a special privilege, knowing ‘La Reina’ personally. She’s obviously a pillar in women’s football but to you, she’s much more.

She harbours a soft spot for you in her heart that becomes evident when she asks you if you need a ride home, and who are you to turn down such an offer when the ache in your legs is close to becoming unbearable?

“You’re talented, chica,” the woman says as you slink into the passenger seat of her car. “I haven’t had the chance to say it, but there hasn’t been a player like you for quite a bit.”

Her praise is so much more than just a couple of words from your captain. Though you smile and say a shy thank you, your heart races because you’ve just been called talented by one of the best players in the world, and there is no feeling greater than that. It gives you a tiny sliver of hope for a brighter future than what you’re already living, and for a moment, escaping your four walls seems possible.

The joy you experienced during the whole car ride is short lived once her car pulls into your driveway. Perhaps she can see the way your expression drops and your demeanour falls, because her hand finds your shoulder and squeezes it in a way that comforts you. “Do you want me to walk you to the door?” she asks, and though you really wish she could, you shake your head for the better.

There’s a slight frown on her face before she nods and drops her hand. You think about the possibility of her knowing that there’s something going on behind the closed doors of your home, and a big part of you hopes so, but no words besides a ‘gracías’ and ‘adios’ manage to find their way out of your mouth despite the pleas for help and support bubbling in your throat as you shut the door of her car.

When you reach the patio, the door opens to bombard you with the raucous of an argument happening around the corner of the hallway.

Your limbs are barely functioning and your eyes are struggling to stay open which is an obvious sign of the exhaustion soaring through your body, hence why you skip right past seeing your parents and beeline towards your sister’s room.

For as long as you can remember, arguments have been a consistent part of evenings spent in your household. Sometimes violence finds itself becoming the last resort, leaving you stuck to bear the brunt of a heavy hand. It’s what happens when two sides of the same coin try to work out — two negatives can’t make a positive, it’s impossible for them to get along and there is never a last word. That’s the unfortunate reality of your parents’ relationship.

You sink into the soft mattress of your sister’s bed and beckon her from the desk to lay beside you. She flips her paper over and abandons the seat to run over to you, her little body falling into your embrace. When she asks you what they’re talking about this time, you tell your sister that they’re just having a little disagreement, and if she sleeps it off, it’ll go away. It’s a promise, you say, before you proceed to tell her all about your training and your teammates. It’s her favourite thing, and she says it’s better than a bedtime story.

In no time, little exhales slip past her mouth as her eyes flutter shut, and you roll her off your body, tucking her into the butterfly printed duvet. With tentative steps across the hardwood, you find yourself at her desk and your fingers ghost over the piece of paper as you squint to read it in the dimness of her nightlight.

‘Mi papá hermana guapa

My sister is strong. She plays fútbol and she is good at it. My sister takes care of me and takes me to her pracktise, I like going with my sister. She helps me sleep and when I am with my sister, I am not scared. I am proud of m–…’

And the rest trails off. The body remains incomplete, but there’s one last sentence at the bottom of the page.

‘Amo a mi hermana.’

You place it back on her desk as you fail to combat the tears flooding your waterline. ‘She must’ve been instructed to write a poem by her teacher… for Father’s Day’, you think to yourself. Turning away so you don’t ruin her writing with your tears, you wiped them with the back of your Barça jacket sleeve and flipped the page around before making a dead silent exit. The house was completely still beside the low noise of talking from the TV and light snoring.

Your tears are not because of happiness. No, they stream down your face because it’s then that you realise something, and it opens up a whole new portal of questions.

As the streak of silence is broken and you’re forced to fall asleep to the low humming noise from the living room and a restless mind, you wonder what twisted realm of anger and bitterness your father lives in that forbids him from showing the smallest signs of love to his kids.

But, you already know the answer to that question, deep down. Instead, you wonder if you’ll see Alexia tomorrow, stretching in her usual spot, and you wonder if she’ll look up and smile at you again and invite you over.

You hope that’s what will happen. You pray for it.

[boom-bada-boom]

of the old religion

there are consequences to being a creature of magic, of the old religion, of power and energy given form.

merlin is not human, no matter what he thinks. the body he has is just a second skin, a coat over the tumultuous magic beneath, so that it had shape, form. he looks human, he thinks human, he feels human. but he is not truly human.

it’s why shapeshifting spells work so well upon him. he’s not changing himself, just the look of the skin he’s wearing. the magic beneath has no true form, and thus cannot be changed when it is everything everywhere all at once.

(the magic that makes merlin is the magic that makes the world, so it has no shape and to look upon it with mortal eyes would be a headache inducing, nauseating ever-shifting thing, that moves through different features of different magical beings like the water of a lake rippling.)

OR

someone with a deep connection to the old religion can see that emrys is no true human. just a creature of magic wearing a human skin, a shapeshifter that refuses to show its true form. (because people say emrys is magic, but no one truly understands the roiling thing living and breathing inside his skin. so obviously there has to be a true form of emrys underneath the image of merlin.)

so they decide to rip that human skin off. force the shape beneath to show itself. tear away the visage of merlin to leave behind only emrys, the creature that will bring magic back to the land or so help them.

it takes a lot of energy and power, and the use of ancient artifacts of the old religion that have been slowly gathering magic for centuries. but they manage it, they bind the human skin to an object, and tear the object away, to leave behind only emrys.

…

except emrys is not made for mortal eyes. especially not the eyes of someone who had hurt them and tore away their shape, their form. (because emrys, as a creature of magic, is still heartbreakingly young. a child, really. maybe that’s why merlin is still so wide-eyed all the time. still young at heart, even as his body looks older.)

so they look upon emrys and burn.

and emrys, lost and confused and hurt and not understanding— where is their body why do they hurt what is wrong with them they are constantly changing shapes and cannot control it and theyre so scared— flees to the only thing they know for sure. and behind them, amongst the mess of ash and scorched earth that once was alive, the object holding their skin lies abandoned, forgotten.

OR

arthur finds the embodiment of magic huddled up against his bedroom window. he doesn’t recognize it immediately as such, but it glows golden and cannot seem to stop subtlety changing shape and growing features that were not there before while losing others. and really, he picks up on the fact eventually.

to reiterate, arthur pendragon, son of the magic-hating king, a young man who had not yet decided if he would hate it the same, has the embodiment of magic hiding outside his window.

he shouldn’t open it. shouldn’t let the pathetic, forcing-itself-to-be-small thing inside.

it howls and cries without words, a sad and fearful air pressing down on him, begging begging helphelphelphelpsomethingswrongsomethingswrongtheytookawaymybodyarthurarthurarthurhelphelphelphelphe—

arthur opens the window.

as the magic flies in, it takes a more solid, in the loosest form of the word, form, dragon-like and small. young. it hides in the crook of his neck, tucks its head in close and shivers.

arthur feels almost like he has let in a frightened bird, it is so small and fluttery.

merlin’s gone missing and there is something small and magical and highly illegal hiding against the small hollow between his neck and shoulders.

he leaves it there.

OR

arthur holds a power he does not quite understand in his hands. he knows it is greater than its form, can feel the pressing weight of something that belies the tiny body.

he knows it is magic. perhaps that is all he really needs to know.

and then he does something that feels exceedingly foolish.

“i’m looking for merlin, my… manservant,” he begins, and the golden thing ripples like a lake in the wind, “can you find where he was taken?”

at least seven eyes blink into existence upon the roiling magical creature, all of them looking up at arthur. another blink, and then they vanish. in their place, wings sprout, some of them draconian in shape, others more bird-like and feathery.

a tail, tiny and yet impossibly strong, wraps around his wrist, and the thing takes flight, pulling him along.

the knights startle, when arthur appears, being seemingly dragged behind a creature no bigger than a songbird, and so breathtakingly magical in spite of it.

“well?” arthur asks, acerbic. “prepare your steeds. we’ve finally gotten a lead on merlin.”

OR

they find a wasteland.

there is nothing left alive in a large circle, all of it surrounding an ancient building now nothing but rubble. the life is not burned away, or diseased into nothing, or anything that could be argued as natural.

instead, it is a wasteland that magic had abandoned. that intrinsic thing within all things, alive and not, had fled this place, ushered out by a fearful and terrified little godling ripped away from the only skin-home it had ever known.

nothing lives here and nothing will ever live here.

it is an ill omen indeed.

and then they discover the sorcerer’s bones, and the fact that said sorcerer was not in fact working alone.

“you,” the only other living being in about a mile spits out like a curse, upon sighting the king, “what have you done with them? where is the being below the skin?”

none of the knights nor the king understand. the little creature of magic had hidden itself in the folds of arthur’s cape, another golden draconian insignia among the rest.

“the what?” arthur asks.

“where is emrys?” the sorcerer spits, summoning a stream of fire heading directly for the king.

magic itself, given form, bursts from the camelot red cape, all golden edges and vengeful anger, the tiny thing no larger than an arm suddenly expanding rapidly. it forms a gigantic serpent, or something like it, lithe and long, but with the beak of a bird of prey, eyes like a feline, a unicorn’s horn on its head. it eats the fire whole, and the giant form bears down on the suddenly cowering sorcerer.

“but—but we freed you,” they mutter, afraid, “we released you from the human shell containing you. how else… how else could you bring back magic…?”

the thing cannot speak, it has no way to do so. what it can do is press feeling into your head. whatever this is, it is so powerful everyone there can feel it, and perhaps even some that are much further away.

G I V E I T B A C K.

it feels nothing like the helpless pained crying that arthur had heard from outside his window, like a yowling alley cat. this monster is nothing like the little bird-like afraid thing that had hidden in his collar, tucked against his throat. this beast of dripping fangs and deadly edges is almost completely separate from the creature of fluttery wings and wide eyes.

and yet he can hear something distinctly afraid in the wailing howl.

it is still desperate and afraid. it’s just angry enough now to cover it up.

[suguwu]

WRAP YOUR TEETH AROUND THE WORLD I PART ONE

A child of the harvest, your life is forfeit when you're chosen for the Hunt's Rite.

You don't expect the god to take an interest in you instead.

minors and ageless blogs do not interact.

pairing: gn!reader x millions knives

notes: if you've followed me for a bit, you know that i've been thinking about this concept for a long while. it's such a delight to be able to finally share it. with massive apologies to my beta, who has not read this because i am too impatient.

the title is, of course, from hozier.

content: god of the hunt nai au, reader is specifically a vegetarian, slow burn, human sacrifice, implied murder, predator/prey aspects.

wc: 5.2k

The sun is setting when they come for you.

Light is still pouring golden over the horizon, dripping along the edge of the sky like honey, sweet and thick despite the teeth of the encroaching night. It casts the High Priest’s face into shadow, blurs the edges of her until she is something else, something more. God-touched.

You watch her disappear into the temple, absentmindedly holding the lantern-lighter to the wick. The flame catches quickly, a kiss of light, flaring like a shooting star. The bright flash makes you blink. It makes you refocus on your task. The next lantern is lit just as quickly, and you make your way around the courtyard, until a constellation bathes the courtyard in soft, flickering orange. 

You’re lighting the final wick when you hear your name. It rings out like the toll of a dour bell, deep and sad. Frost spirals down your spine, winter come early. You take a moment to blow out the lantern-lighter before you turn around. 

The High Priest of the Hunt flashes her teeth. The forest lives in the sharpened edges of them, each carefully filed to a knife’s deadly point, smooth and sharp. You shudder.

“Child,” your High Priest says. “You have been chosen for the Hunt’s Rite.”

Your next breath hurts. It shears through you, drags up between your ribs to split you apart, carves its way out of your throat. You choke on it.

“But—” you gasp out. “I’m a child of the harvest.” 

“You are not claimed,” the High Priest of the Hunt says, her voice billowing out like smoke. It fills the cracks in you with char, with something you cannot name. “And you have been chosen.” 

You have no words; they slip away from you like mist rising from the lake’s surface, wispy and intangible. The harvest god does not claim. It is not his way, but you had thought it would be different for you. 

(The man smiles at you, soft and sweet and edged with something like sorrow. “Eat,” he says, holding his hands out, his palms suddenly overflowing with plump fruit. The berries gleam in the dappled sunlight, little multi-colored gems. 

Your stomach aches at the sight. 

“You’re—” you breathe. 

“Eat,” the man—the god—repeats. “It will do you well.”

The berries burst beneath your teeth. They’re salt-kissed, a remnant of his touch. You devour them, ravenous with months of famine settled into your weakened bones, and only taste devotion.)

You had thought it would be different for you, you who had supped from his palms. 

“Please,” you say softly. “Please.”

Your High Priest looks away. His mouth twists, going sour at the edges, and his eyes are glassy in the low light, shining brightly with unshed tears.

The High Priest of the Hunt’s eyes glimmer too and you think of a predator peering out from the depths of the woods, eyes flickering beneath moonlight. 

“It is an honor to be chosen,” she tells you. “The hunt has always provided.” 

You stay quiet. 

She hums low in her throat, the sound like the distant baying of the dogs, and reaches out. You bite your tongue to keep from flinching. The pain shatters beneath your skin, a lightning strike sting, and you concentrate on that as she traces her thumb over the apple of your cheek.  Her touch is reverent, skimming over your skin like silk.

“Come,” she breathes. “We must ready you.”

Your High Priest protests, but the sound of his reedy voice is lost under the pulsing thrum of your blood as it echoes through you. It’s loud, like the purr of the pebbles that tumble over themselves each time a wave draws back from the shore. You stumble back a step.

There’s a ribbon woven around your chest, you think, and it’s growing tighter, compressing the bones until they start to creak. You suck in a sharp breath; it burns.

The High Priest of the Hunt studies you. In the lantern light, her features are stark, flickering shadows dancing over her face. She tilts her head and her blonde hair spills over her shoulder like starlight. It illuminates her, a galaxy spread sparkling in the sky, and again, she seems like something more. Something bigger. She flashes her sharpened teeth in a mockery of a smile.

“Come,” she says again. “There is nothing for you here.”

“Elendira,” your High Priest says. “Please.”

Her eyes harden. “The child is ours. The rite must be prepared.”

“They are to be given one night—”

“That is for those with family.”

You cast your eyes to the ground. The guttering flames of the lanterns send undulating patterns over the packed-down dirt of the courtyard; they writhe like snakes. The two High Priests continue to go back and forth, but they sound distant, as if they’re just echoes of themselves.

“Child.”

You look up. Your High Priest gives you a ghost of a smile; there’s a deep sorrow tucked up in the corner of his lips. He takes your hand in his. His fingers are bird-boned, delicate things. They’re trembling.

“You must go,” he says.

“Must I?”

He squeezes your hand. “Yes.” 

You blink back the tears. Just behind him, Elendira watches the two of you, her eyes gleaming in the lantern-light. There’s a triumphant curl to the crimson slant of her mouth, a brutal slash of victory. You squeeze your High Priest’s hand and draw in a ragged breath. 

“I would bring some of my things with me,” you tell them. It will help, you think, to have them with you. 

Elendira scoffs. “There is no need,” she says. “You are in the care of the hunt now. We will provide all that you want.”

“Then the hunt can provide me with my things.”

She eyes you, her lip curling up into a fierce little smile. “You have bite after all,” she says. “The hunt lives in you yet.”

You resist the urge to bare your teeth. “The harvest lives in me.”

She arches a perfect brow. “We shall see.”

Still, she relents. Two of her acolytes silently accompany you to your room at the temple; you pack in a daze, plucking up a few keepsakes, though you’re not sure why. You know the fate you are heading towards. You let your fingers play over the spirals of seaglass that line your dresser, the deep blues and the soft greens misted over by the ocean’s touch, years of gifts from the woodcarver.

You pick up one of the pieces, rubbing your thumb over the rounded edge of it. It’s the gentle blue of a mid-morning sky, of a speckled robin’s egg tucked carefully into the mess of a nest. You bring it to your lips and think that you can still taste salt. 

The acolytes urge you from your room, their hands reverent against you. One of them has callused fingers, a bow’s lingering kiss, and you shrink back from the abrasive feel of them.

Elendira is waiting for you in the temple’s courtyard. She hums, low and resonant, as you approach, eyeing the few things you’ve gathered, but she says nothing. You bite at your lip as you take in your own High Priest beside her; he’s stooped over, heavily slumped, an eroded rock. He can’t meet your eyes.

You look away and into Elendira’s keen gaze. She smiles, a crimson slash that shows off her sharpened teeth, and beckons you close.

“Come here, little one,” she says. 

You follow her command, coming to a halt in front of her. She slips a finger under your chin to make you look her in the eye. Her sharp nail digs into the softness there, just shy of breaking the skin. She examines you again. Her eyes—blue as the nearby lake, glittering like the water beneath the sun—are keen. You set your jaw and meet her gaze.

She laughs. She pushes your chin up higher for a brief breath before she withdraws, her nail dragging against your delicate skin like the tip of a knife. You draw in a sharp breath, but it doesn’t hurt. 

“We leave now,” she says.

“Let me say goodbye.”

She considers you again. “Is that a demand, child?”

“You said the hunt would provide.”

“You’ve already used that once,” she says, but she sounds amused. “This is the last time I’ll allow it.” 

She turns around and strides away before you can reply, her hair rippling behind her, a comet’s blazing trail. One of the acolytes trails behind her; the other remains in the courtyard, stepping back into the shadows cast by the lantern light. 

“Child,” your High Priest says softly. He still can’t look you in the eye. “I am sorry.”

“I know.”

“There is nothing I can do for you.”

“I know,” you say, and the tears beading crystalline on your lashes finally spill over, running hot down your cheeks. He reaches out and cups your cheek. He hushes you quietly, his thumb running softly beneath your eye, brushing away the falling tears. His own eyes are shimmering. 

“The woodcarver,” you say. “Will you—”

“I will go to her as soon as you’re gone.”

“Thank you.” 

“Is there anything you wish for me to say?”

You shake your head. “She’ll know.”

“As you wish,” he says. 

The acolyte shifts. “It is time,” they say, stepping forward into the light. “Come.” 

Your High Priest’s hand tightens against your cheek before he lets it fall. You miss his warmth; the cool night air erases the ghost of his touch in an instant. “Goodbye, child,” he says softly. 

“Goodbye,” you whisper.

The acolyte steps up beside you and gestures you forward. They lead you to where Elendira lingers in the shadows at the temple’s entrance. She steps forward and raises the hood of your well-worn cloak, her long fingers careful. The smile on her lips is sharp. It sinks down into your marrow, a well-placed knife. You shiver, frost spiraling down your spine. 

The acolyte chivvies you into a carriage. Elendira slips gracefully in across from you, her cloak flowing around her like a gentle river. You turn your gaze outwards, unwilling to face her.

She laughs, the sound billowing out from her like smoke. But she doesn’t try to engage you; you watch the darkened countryside roll by, blurring like a mirage. You mark things familiar to you to try and ground yourself: the half-bent oak, the overgrown path to the long-dried lake, the curl of smoke rising from the temple.

It doesn’t work. You feel wool-headed, as if it’s stuffed between your ears. The world is a watercolor, smearing across your vision in flickers of color. You close your eyes against it, stomach roiling, and concentrate on breathing from your mouth, low and slow. 

You only open them when the carriage creaks to a halt. 

Elendira gives you no commands; she merely flashes her sharpened teeth at you in a mockery of a smile before sliding from the carriage. You have no choice but to follow. 

There are two acolytes waiting for you, their curious eyes tracing over every inch of you. Elendira beckons one of them close.

“Ready them,” she orders. “They need to be prepared for the coming days before the rite.” 

The acolyte bows and ushers you forward. You don’t bother to fight it. You barely look at your surroundings, too focused on each heavy step towards your fate. They guide you through the temple carefully. People bow as you go by; you catch the shadows of them out of the corner of your eyes, each one wispy as they yield to you and the acolytes. A shiver trickles down your spine like icemelt. 

The air changes as you step into another hallway. There’s a dampness to it now, like the humid touch of a midsummer’s afternoon, when there is a promise of a storm in the air. The baths, then, you think. You’ll be scrubbed clean of the remnants of your temple, stripped of the very last of it, the scent of your soap. 

For a moment, you consider running, but there’s no point. Instead, you let them herd you through a door and into the baths.

Once you’re in the steamy room, they strip you of your clothing with reverent fingers. You sink into the bath without a word, barely taking in the magnificent stretch of it, the bath so large it could almost be a pool, lined with tiles as blue as the sky. 

You don’t fight it when they begin to wash you. Their touch is gentle, as sweet as a spring lamb. The soap smells of clover, of the meadows that edge the village, and it’s almost enough to mask the rusty tinge of blood that lingers in the air. The acolytes murmur to you as they bathe you, but their voices are distant, burbling like the river current. 

They rinse you by pouring ladles of cool water over your head. It’s a balm against your heated body; you turn your face into it despite the gasps it brings. The water cradles you like a lover. Their murmurs meld into something songlike, rising and falling like the wind, fluting high and rasping low. Prayer, you think. You don’t bother to listen.

They dry you with towels scented like the forest, like the deep woods, all moss and loam. You do not receive your clothing back; instead, they dress you in fine silks that stick to your skin, that cling to your body like a gossamer spider’s web. You shiver as they sweep against your skin, as cool as a river. 

The bath starts to darken as they blow the candles out. They chivvy you forward, back into the halls. Your cheeks heat as you go, aware that the silk sticks to each inch of you, a second skin, and that all eyes are upon you. The murmurs echo off the walls, rolling across you like waves against the shore. 

The room they bring you to is a lavish one. There are luxurious pelts spread on the large bed, ready to keep the chill air of the encroaching fall at bay. They nudge you through the door. You stumble through it, your foot catching on the draping silk, and catch yourself against an ornate chair.

By the time you turn around, the acolytes are gone, the door scraping closed behind them. The click of the lock rings through the air. You cannot help yourself; you try the door. It does not budge.

The tears start to sting your eyes. You sniffle, willing them back, and make your way to the bed. It’s soft as you sink down upon it. You stare up at the ceiling until it starts to blur, and then you finally close your eyes.

You do not fall asleep for a very long time.

—

Dawn comes too early. 

You’ve barely stirred in the bed when the door opens; an acolyte sweeps in. She’s keen-eyed, almost vulpine, with the sharpened teeth to match. You sit up as she draws near, huddling under one of the pelts. 

“Come,” she says, her voice rolling like summer thunder. “You must eat.” 

“I’m not hungry.”

“You’ll find your appetite once there is food in front of you.”

You shake your head.

Her expression doesn’t change, but suddenly, there’s something cold to her, the slow creep of the first frost. “It wasn’t a request,” she says. “Now come.” 

You grit your teeth, your fingers tightening in the thick fur of the pelt you’re under. Then you let go and slide out from under it. 

“Good,” the acolyte says.

She dresses you in silence, brushing your hands away when you try to smooth out the silken clothing they’ve brought you. It’s finely made, more beautiful than anything you’ve ever owned, and it makes your stomach twist.

She takes you through the winding temple halls, your bare feet quiet against the cool stone floors. The other acolytes stare as you go by, just as they did last night, and you shrink into yourself, make yourself small. It does little to alleviate the weight of their gazes. 

The room she takes you into is a small one, but it seems cavernous, with its high ceilings and sparse decor. Elendira is there, her long blonde hair gleaming in the light, a falling star. She turns as you enter. She beckons you forward; you slink towards her, a cowed dog. 

“Sit,” she tells you, gesturing to the chair across from her. “You must eat.”

You hesitate for a breath before you sink into the chair. She smiles, clearly pleased, and when she nods, another acolyte places a plate in front of you. 

You pause. The plate is laden with seasonal vegetables, cooked and raw. For a moment, you almost feel like you’re home. “There’s no meat,” you say. Your own voice startles you, small as it is. 

Elendira hums. “No,” she says. “It would make you sick.”

It would, considering how long you’ve gone without it, but you hadn’t expected to be accommodated. Perhaps you should have; it’s easy to forget that you’re important to them now. That you are something bigger than yourself. You gaze down at the plate and your stomach churns.

You think you might be sick anyway. 

Under Elendira’s gaze, you pick away at the food, mostly pushing it around on the plate. When you finally lean back, unable to take even a second more, she purses her lips but says nothing. Instead, she beckons to you, a silent command.

You follow her out into the courtyard in the middle of the temple. You’re surprised to see the garden that fills it, the scent of wet loam rising to your nose as an acolyte waters a patch of summer roses, their petals the color of the dawn, a sweet, pearly pink. There’s a basket of them on the ground, their cut stems still oozing sap. You pause.

“Go on,” Elendira says, sounding amused. 

You pick one up, twirling it between your fingers before hissing out a breath as a thorn catches the pad of your thumb. The blood wells up, a crimson seed, and you press your thumb between your lips to suck it away. Iron spreads on your tongue. 

There’s a drop of blood clinging to the thorn; it trickles down the stem a bit. You wipe it away as Elendira watches, something like a smile blooming on her lips, but she says nothing. 

Instead, she takes you through the garden to a set of rooms on the other side. There are acolytes waiting inside.

“Take care of them,” Elendira says. Before you can protest, she turns on her heel and glides from the room, her blonde hair flowing behind her like a comet’s tail. 

“Come,” one of the acolytes says, holding out a hand. 

You almost shrink away, but you take a deep breath and straighten your spine instead. You do not take their hand, but you follow them anyway. They bring you deeper into the chambers, into a room that smells of incense. It’s heavier than what your temple uses, but there is comfort in it nonetheless. 

You spend the day in that little room, retreating deep into your mind as they prepare you, engaging in little rituals that are beyond your knowledge. Normally, you would ask, always curious, but you cannot bring yourself to do so. 

By the time they lead you from the room, night has fallen. The scent of incense lingers on your skin as you walk through the courtyard, your face lifted towards the sky to better see the rising moon. It shines silver on the garden, painting petals with its soft touch. 

A different acolyte chivvies you along. He’d joined the group later, taking over from faces that had just started to grow familiar. Part of you thinks that is exactly the intent—that you gain no true companionship with anyone. It is utterly lonely, like living amongst shadows. 

He leads you to your room; once inside, you again hear the click of the lock. This time, you don’t bother to try the door. Instead, you shimmy out of the silken clothing and into the bed, closing your eyes.

When you open them again, you know that you are dreaming. 

You are small again; you barely come up to the woodcarver’s hip. She presses your face against her skirts, her hand gentle but firm. The words are lost to the dream, but you remember them well enough—the elders discussing your fate after your father was lost to winter’s teeth, claimed by  a cliff disguised by drifting snow. 

The gods are not kind. That much is clear.

The elders say your father’s name like a funeral knell. You think it will haunt you forever. 

When you look up from the woodcarver’s skirts, she is older, time smearing together as it only can in a dream. The edges of her eyes crinkle like parchment, laugh lines etched into her skin. They do not show now her face is solemn, her lips pinched together. She is thinner, her cheekbones sharp, and you realize it is the famine years.

The world swirls and suddenly, you are in the town square, desperate cries echoing around you. The woodcarver is next to you, her face grim, and she pulls you close as the crowd—the mob—pushes forward. 

You know what happens next. It’s already written, a history you can’t change. But you turn away anyway, hiding your face back in the woodcarver’s skirts, as if it can block out the cries of the harvest god’s acolytes as they fall. 

You wake with a cry, char and blood lingering in your nose, a phantom of the past. You sob once, twice, and bury your face in the furs of your fine bed. 

The gods are not kind, but neither are men.

—

The morning dawns red.

It streaks through the sky, crimson fingers of light smearing against the horizon, the sun bleeding it like a cracked egg. It spills into your room through the high window, pooling on the stone floor. 

The ruby sky fades into something softer as the sun continues its rise, but the damage is done. The burning spectacle haunts you as you dress for the day, unaccompanied by any acolyte. You can hear them in the hallway, the temple stirring to life, but no one comes through your door. Something in you burns cold.

When the door finally opens, you know. 

The acolytes take you to the bath through deserted halls. The water is warm and sweetly scented with a perfume that you don’t know. It winds around you, soft and soothing. You drift as they bathe you. 

Your skin prickles with gooseflesh when they rinse you, the air dragging its cool fingertips over the length of your body. The acolytes dry you with soft towels before they wrap you in clinging silks yet again. You trail your hand over the material, take in the icy slip of it. 

You look up as one of the acolytes approaches with a piece of fabric in his hands. You dip your head at his gesture; he ties it over your eyes, leaving you in darkness, with just the tiniest hint of light seeping in at the edges, like the sun peeking over the horizon. 

Blinded, you’re entirely reliant on the acolytes to lead you. You take deep breaths, trying to loosen the knot that’s wound itself around your ribs. You drift in the darkness, your mind fleeing.

The light hurts when the blindfold comes off. You wince, blinking away the sting, and find yourself in a grove at the forest’s edge, surrounded by the temple’s acolytes. They cry out at the sight of you, and you shrink into yourself, feeling your heart fluttering between your ribs, a trapped bird. Your hands are shaking.

Smoke billows around you, the scent of char settling over your skin as the acolytes disrobe you. Elendira watches from her place by the altar. Her blonde hair glints in the light, haloed by the sun, and her gaze is heavy upon your form. 

The silk you were wearing puddles at your feet, iridescent, an icy lake reflecting the moon’s glow. They dab oil behind your ears and in the hollow of your throat. You choke on a sob.

It was not meant to be like this. 

(Eat, the god of the harvest says, his smile sad. So that you may live as you are meant to.)

You let the acolytes wind pelts around you, the heat of them settling into your bones, a stoked fire caught up in fur. They’re for the deepest parts of the forest, you think, where the trees still murmur to each other. Where it stays chilled even in the height of summer.

It’s kind of them to think you’ll get that far. 

“Please,” you say quietly, as one of them dips near to smear crimson juice on your lips. 

She ignores you. 

Elendira raises her arms at the altar. The others turn their attention her way; you glance to it and see a pearly pink rose laid out against the stone. You turn away and stare at the ground, at the forest loam full of moss. There is a spider skittering across a leaf. You watch it run. 

Elendira is speaking, her cool voice filling the meadow. You cannot hear her. The acolytes move with her, at her command. You glance up and cannot make sense of what they’re doing. They whirl around you, snapping their sharpened teeth into the air with sharp clicks of their jaws, the muscles working beneath their skin. It’s too different from your own temple, all vicious, violent movement. 

You only know the rite is complete when you feel him.

He blazes into being behind you, his presence oppressive, the weight of his gaze dragging at you like an anchor and its heavy chain. It sinks into you. Crawls beneath your skin. Flays you open and touches the deepest parts of you. 

It’s almost familiar, like a dream within a dream. 

Elendira cries out, her voice fluting like a bird’s before it grows rougher, crueler, until you hear the hunting dogs in her voice, nipping at your heels. Behind you, his presence grows, a stoked fire. 

You don’t flinch when he touches you. His touch blazes like cold fire, a frostbitten thing. His thumb—thick and callused—dips into the oil that’s gathered on your neck.

He smears it up the soft underside of your throat to the tender skin just beneath your jaw. He presses there, just against your fluttering pulse. 

Please, you almost say, but you know better.

The god of the hunt is not known for his mercy. 

(Knives is just one of his many names, but it’s the one that rings truest. A blade is a blade is a blade. It cares little who it nicks.)

“Acceptable,” he says, and there is the forest in his voice, something ancient. It echoes around you. Thunders through your bones. 

He leans in close, his breath warming the nape of your neck. Your chest goes tight.

He murmurs, almost fond, into your ear:

“Run, little rabbit.”

You do. 

You know better than to look behind you; you bound off towards the forest, where the saplings rise like ribs, their shadows long against the ground. You feel the grass beneath your feet give way to the loam of the woods, dirt cushioned with moss. 

The forest blurs by as you dash through it, nimble-footed as you dodge around the massive oaks that soar to the sky, their canopies darkening the woods around you. You gasp in a breath, your chest tightening more, anxiety spooling around your ribs like thread. 

The woods have gone quiet. There are no birds calling; even the rustle of the trees is gone, as if fall has already consumed them, given them over to winter’s slumber. You only hear the pounding of your heart as it flutters against your ribs, a hummingbird's frantic beating of wings. You duck beneath a branch but not far enough. It scores your cheek, a whip crack of pain that fades quickly.

You have no time for it; you hurtle over an old, old root system, the tangle of them gone mossy with age. You barely clear it, your toes brushing against the mushrooms blooming from the bark. 

You land hard.

It knocks the breath from you, rattles up through your bones, the earth's admonishment. Air rushes from you in a great, gasping breath and you cannot pull it back in. Your chest aches with it, a bruise freshly pressed. 

Still, you don't dare stop.

You can feel Knives behind you, pacing like a wolf behind its prey. He keeps his distance, but never too far, nipping at your heels each time you slow with his massive presence, something too big to name. You hadn't known how divinity devours.

There is a maw at your heels and you can only go forward.

You dance between the saplings, breath caught in your throat. The woods are hungry around you; everywhere you look there are only trees.

Your feet pound against the dirt. They ache, a bone-deep bruise. You're slowing, you know, but you cannot help it. Your legs feel encased in resin, the slow drip of exhaustion trickling down them.

"Please," you pant. "Please."

(“Slowly,” the god says, brushing a knuckle against your cheekbone. “I will be here to give you more.”) 

The blackberry bush to your left blooms into being, berries pouring from it, ripened to a plumpness that's beyond anything you've ever seen.

You change directions instantly, veering towards it. 

Another one blooms, and then a raspberry bush, the berries little blood-red rubies, thick and juicy. You follow the verdant path coming to life, something bright starting to burn in your chest, something that you barely dare think of as hope. 

You choke on your next breath.

Knives' presence has roared to life behind you, a freshly stoked fire. It drapes over you like the nighttime, deep and oppressive. Ozone crackles in the air. It's stark on your tongue. Suffocating. 

Then there's an arm around your waist.

It stops you in your tracks, so sudden that it hurts. It shakes the sense from you. You gasp, the air forced from your lungs in a long, low hiss, a rattlesnake’s vibrating tail. Only the arm—thickly muscled, unyielding as iron—keeps you upright.

When your breath returns, it only catches in your throat once more.

There's heat against you; air stirs the fine hairs at your nape. You can feel the slow, steady rise of Knives’ chest against your back. His arm tightens around you. His fingers dig divots into the flesh of your hip. 

His voice—full of the forest, of the hunt, of fur and fang and blood—rumbles through you.

“Not this one, little brother.”

The berry bush that had just burst into life withers, its verdant leaves curling up into brittle skeletons. You draw in a sharp, ragged breath. Your chest aches, a bruise of a thing, bone deep. You shift and those fingers flex, sinking even deeper into the curve of your hip.

You go still. There’s little point in struggling; this close, you can feel the divinity radiating off of him, a falling star, cold and bright. It’s overwhelming, burning through your very bones. It devours you. His arm tightens around you as your knees start to give, your chest heaving. Your vision spots, going black at the edges, and you feel more than hear him speak. It cracks like thunder and your body gives up. 

The last thing you see before the world fades is a flash of blue hair.

[saeslove]

2PM LOVE

synopsis in which you had a crush on yuta okkotsu since young.

note: # mentions of divorce. angst to comfort fluff! wc 1k +

Love. 

An intense feeling of deep affection for someone. As a child, you didn’t understand the meaning of love. Back then to you, love was books and books were your love. Sure, you received ample love from your parents and loved ones. The sneaky glances your parents throw at each other during family gatherings, the way your father opens the door for your mother like a gentleman, the way he soothed the goosebumps on your mother’s delicate skin with his calloused hands whenever she got cold. It’s the way their hips sway to their ‘anniversary song’ that echoes your humble abode across your living room, looking at each other with so much love. 

That, to you, was love; your parents' love for each other. Not that you’d say it out loud, of course. But someday, you will find love like your parents.

Growing up on the outskirts of Tokyo, you had a lovely childhood and you couldn’t ask for more. But it was all in vain. After 20 years of a blissful marriage, along with 3 children, your parents had a divorce. You weren’t quite sure what happened because they felt really in love. It also hit you when your father had to move out alongside your two siblings, leaving you and your mother alone on the outskirts of Tokyo. 

You wanted to be mad when you found out that just after 2 months of being divorced, your father had found himself a newer and younger lover. Never had you felt so betrayed. You felt angry and sad, for your mother who hides her pain with a sweet smile, assuring you that she’s not affected by it. But in reality, you know it’s a facade when you can hear her muffled sobs every night. 

From then on, you didn’t believe in love and promised to never fall in love. Thus, you grew up finding solace and comfort deep inside your books.

After 2 years of your parent’s divorce, you met a boy.

In front of your mother, you pretended that falling in love was a sin, you confidently vowed to never fall in love but why does your heart skip a beat whenever you see the boy with disheveled black hair and dark blue eyes? Why does your hand get so sweaty whenever your fingers brush his? When you told your mother about the situation you were in with your big doe eyes, she couldn’t help but laugh saying you have developed a crush. 

A crush on a boy named Yuta Okkotsu? 

You first met Yuta at a local bookstore not too far away from your neighbourhood. Every day, at 2pm, without fail you’ll catch him reading in the corner of the store, giggling to himself. What a weird boy. Perhaps he was reading a comedy series? You didn’t know what came to you that day, the ground beneath your feet swept you towards that young boy’s direction. He slowly shifted his gaze from the book to you. 

Embarrassed, you struck up a conversation “uhhh hi! what book are you reading?”. 

You have been friends ever since. He’d meet you outside your door, waving your mom goodbye before racing each other to the bookstore. You visit there so often that the owner recognizes you two. Once, you fell asleep on Yuta’s shoulder while his cheeks were on top of your head with a book in hand. The owner, Ms Belle, cooed at the adorable sight.   

He spent so much time with you that he’s grown attuned to you and your little habits. The way you stomp your feet when something exciting happens – like when the main character decides to finally confess to his crush. He knows you like to run your fingers along the shelves. He knows how you hate folding the edges of your paper so for your 8th birthday, he got you a bookmark with your name engraved.

One word to describe you and Yuta would be inseparable. You’d do things together. You’d have a sleepover at his house on some nights, and some at yours. He knows how much you hate crowds, so he would hold onto your pinky while he leads you both to a more quiet, and safe place. 

You were 9 years old when you finally realised that you had a crush on Yuta Okkotsu. However, you were also 9 years old when you had your heart broken, by a boy besides your father. He had to move to the other side of the world, far from Tokyo, Japan. His absence left you all alone again. The worst part of all, you didn’t have a chance to tell him that you liked him.

Perhaps you were right. You won’t believe in love and promise to never fall in love. Although deep down behind closed doors, love –your parents once shared, was all you craved for.

10 years later. Everything has changed. You grew taller, no longer the shortest in class. Your voice matured. Everything changed, even the the childhood bookstore closed down when you were 11. You no longer have a crush on Yuta Okkotsu. Lies. You’ll remember him forever.

Glancing at your Apple Watch, it read 2pm. You had to meet your friends at 2.30pm at the train station but since you were already early, you decided to stop by the newly opened bookstore.

The distinct aroma of earthy with a hint of vanilla from the pages of books that were stacked neatly on a wooden shelf instantly made you relaxed, like you were at home. Like a muscle memory, you run your fingers along the shelves, a habit of yours while trying to find a book that catches your attention. Abruptly, your fingers came to a stop. Your eyes lingered on a certain book. You were so deep in the thought you didn’t realise someone coming up to you. 

“The Love Hypothesis, huh?” 

That voice. His voice was honeyed yet soft spoken.

You shifted your gaze to your right where the stranger is. He’s taller than you, but not that tall, his hair no longer disheveled. Black hair and dark blue eyes carrying a radiant gentle smile that could probably light up the sky. —the same smile he carried in the past.

Your eyes lit up. “Yuta Okkotsu?”

fml i really really dont like how this turns out but i just had to clear from my drafts. i love yuta sm.. and i m so sleepy rn happy 2024 my loves 🩷

likes and reblogs appreciated! 💕💕 pls be kind to me

my other works <3

@ satoluv do not plagiarize, translate, or rewrite my writings without my permission !

[hughiecampbelle]

Unornamented (Hughie Campbell Oneshot)

Character/s: Hughie

Word Count: 1,691

Requested: Not requested, but here are the prompts I used :) 13.) Hum, 36.) Scraped Knees 34.) “Still awake?”

Inspired By: Foxglove by Haley Heynderickx

A/N: I love him, I love him, I love him!!!! Anyways, just an appreciation fic for your patience!!! Thank you my loves!! I actually kinda love how this turned out. I think it's very soft and sweet, even a little sad. Heavily inspired by the song/album. Slowly working through my writers block so that once I start posting again, my work will be what you deserve!!! Feedback is always appreciated!! 💜💜💜

The cicada's sharp pitch moves with the wind, seeping through the open window screens. You never knew what that peculiar sound was, the screaming, bleating, wailing, only that it swept through you each night on your long, humid walks home. A kind of begging. A performance. A tongue you have not yet mastered. Shakespearean tragedies, you imagine, wars between families, between forbidden lovers and bitter marriages. Feuds. They step out into costumes covered in ruffles, pearls, thick collars and high stockings. The children dress as fauna and flora, roaring like cubs, nipping at one another playfully. On stage, they are someone else. Largely unseen as the sun sets, they intend to make their presence known. The rest of them, the crowds for miles and miles, sing their songs in appreciation. A hum that vibrates through the leaves, the open air, their roaring praise and applause settles goosebumps across your flesh. They’ve grown accustomed to sweet summer shows and they will be forever grateful. Harmless, they went about their time as you wished to do. No biting, nor stinging. Without violence. They draw out these shows, afraid they will be left alone to bear their lives, their thoughts, mundane and overpowering respectively. 

Beneath you, the springs of the mattress puncture the thin fabric, poking at the spokes of your spine the way a mother would her child. It tickles, her bony knuckles, the sharpness of the spring. Interchangeable. A comfort you have forgotten of, one that fills the cavity of your chest with dread. What else have you forgotten? What else have you given up for a life like this? The sheer curtains blow with the breeze. Thoughtlessly, they move and dance and grab at one another, like sisters. They must be laughing, you think, for they are warm underneath the butter yellow street lights and safe and together. They must be laughing, because they are together and that is who they’ll only ever need: their twin. Leaves rustle underneath the insect melodies. A bass, low and of the earth, the tone of an old man telling stories of his youth. You can hear him smiling. 

The sheets are soft, newly washed, and sticking to you. Wrapped around your torso, your legs free to breathe, kissed by the thick air. Lying like this, with your knees tented, you can see the scrapes across them. Earth scorched. What was once torn open, alive and mouthy, had healed only slightly. The skin is pale and thick and chewy. Shiny. They don’t hurt as much as they did. You’re not sure how it happened, only that it must’ve been recent. There are other aches and pains. Healed and unhealed, bruised and not. Old wounds stitched together. Deep purples, cobalt blues, sickly greens. They’ll yellow soon enough. You were always getting hurt. You were always in some sort of danger. Unwise, you knew, and yet there was something about the thrill. The taste of blood in your mouth. Last time – the last time – you’d almost been sliced in half. Not yet a scar, the settled skin inching its way across your belly remained snakelike. Sensitive, you were careful to wash and dry, to dress and dress again. Your fingertips brush where it rests beneath your shirt. You don’t like looking at it. It remains too much of a reminder. On that day. Of what you were attempting to leave behind. Too soon to joke, to laugh, the both of you still a little rattled. 

It’s how you ended up here. 

There is a body beside you. Not unfamiliar. His skin is warm, and though forgiveness was never one of summer's virtues, you find yourself curling into him, all his nooks and crannies, despite the humidity in the air. His chest rises and falls evenly. His lip is split and there is a scab at his temple. How many times have you kissed that very spot? How many times had you checked on it, to make sure it was healing properly. Free of infection. His shirt is worn and thin and it smells of him: soap and sky and the dinner he burned earlier. One arm rests beneath you, your head, the other thrown behind the pillow, perching it up further. His rest is not easy, not without effort, but there is a certain softness to his features. Maybe it’s the light, the setting sun, the deep, bright blue of the night sky. Maybe not. Either way your eyes follow the slope of his nose, the curve of his cheek, the furrow of his brow. His hair is wild, some of it slicked back. It is his best effort not to overheat. His dreams are still water, not yet broken by growing, gruesome waves. Not yet entering the heart of the storm. It will, of course. And when it does, he will startle awake. Panting. Gasping for air. Clinging to you. 

For now, though, he is quiet. 

The bedroom is cozy. Cozy, you think, is a nice way of saying it’s small. No matter. You had little with you anyways. A lamp. A mattress. You have yet to get a frame, a bedside table. Frivolities. A single dresser you split down the middle, neck to groin. Autopsy-esque. Photos of friends. Notes and doodles. Passports, fake IDs. Enough clothes to get you through the season. You know, when the snow threatens to fall and the cicadas are long gone, you will need more than what you’ve got. The drawers stick and, embarrassed, as quiet as he can, he’ll shake it open. He has done this since you got here. Untethered himself from you, from the bed, gentle enough not to startle you. He’ll dress, and kiss your head, and leave a note: Be back soon. XO Hughie. He’ll disappear in the early morning. Wandering, you suppose. It is the only way he can breathe easily, if he knows where you are. If he understands the layout of the land. You weren’t in the city anymore. The crowds you’d slipped into, becoming just another strange face, were no longer an option here. The hiding places were minimal. Open roads, nothing for miles. The underbelly you could run to for safety, the trains you could crouch into, your hoods up, your faces low, were unavailable. Nonexistent. You’d traded one anonymity for another. You’d pretend to be asleep, watching him, wide eyed, as the morning sun enveloped him. The rays are subtle, not yet full, and they stretch out towards him. Sometimes you’ll fall back to sleep. Sometimes you’ll lie there, soaking in every inch of the room, wondering what became of everyone you’d ever cared about. Wondering if you could make a life like this. When he comes back, he will make you coffee. The only two mugs you brought with you. Chipped and worn. He’ll place his on the dresser, careful with yours, as if it were something precious. He doesn’t voice what he’s seen, what he’s taken into account, but his features are quick to give him away. You will reassure him: he could never find you here. You are both safe. Everyone is safe. The words are hollow, You know this. As long as Homelander is alive, you are in danger. There is only so much of you you can give to him anymore. There is only so much of your mind, your body, your fears, that you can dole out to him. Hughie nods, the steam from his cup bringing color to his face. You will find something else to talk about. The strangers you met on your long walks. The pets you wave to through fences, through windows. The long summer you’ve been granted. How lucky you’ll be when the weather chills and the leaves begin to turn. Anything but Vought. Anything but him. 

That isn’t for many hours, of course.

Your thoughts spread like fog through the apartment. The kitchen (tiny) and the bathroom (even littler). Enough utensils for two. A spongy bath mat. Anything that would fit in the backseat, really. Silly things you grabbed without thinking. The kitschy salt and pepper shakers. A dozen mismatched socks. Only the case of Hughie’s mouth guard. Half a set of slippers. A handful of books. The rest? You would never be sure what happened to them, to anything. You had what the old tenants left behind. The dresser, the lamp, a table for four with three chairs, a shower curtain. There are other things here as well. Spiders in the corners, weaving their webs. Occasionally, you might find one on the bar of soap by the sink, crawling across the counter tops, making its way through the length of the apartment. A mouse or two. If you’re quiet enough, you might hear them scurrying in the walls. Worse, you suspect, though that’s as far as you can name definitively. The first thing he did was get you a mattress. Paid in cash under another name, beaming with pride, he pushed it up the stairs and through each doorway. It was perfect.  The cicadas sing their songs, harmonizing with one another. The sky has darkened. There are so many stars here. That was the first thing you noticed. Driving for days on end, you watched the inky black glitter, thousands and thousands of holes opening up, letting the twinkling light through. It wasn’t like this in the city. It had never been this clear. Perhaps it was the running, the escaping, the tiresome ways you’d been living since you left. Perhaps it was the first beautiful thing you’d been allowed to take in in a long time. There were wildflowers and small towns and houses built long before you, but the time to look in awe, to appreciate, had been so fleeting. Mere moments, that’s all you were allowed. This would go on forever. The scars embedded in your skin ache just a little. You readjust, placing your head on his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart. Hughie, coming to, wraps his arm around you, pulling you even closer. “Still awake?” He asks in his sleepy voice, and you know he is smiling.

[amomentsescape]

Slashers Creating a Personal Carnival for Reader

Background: Reader becomes overstimulated from loud noises, but still wants to experience what it's like to go to the carnival and have fun. The Slashers want to help make this dream a reality for them.

A/N: This was a personal request I received through my messages. They asked to remain anonymous for this, but I hope they and everyone else enjoys!

Freddy Krueger

This man can literally turn the world into whatever he wants

So the night before, when you expressed how disappointed you were that you couldn't go to the town carnival, Freddy knew what to do

He always wants to make you smile, so seeing that frown was a big no in his book

He took time to plan out what he wanted to do while you were awake during the day

But that night when you went to sleep, you were shocked to find yourself in your very own carnival

There was no one else around, but you could smell the cotton candy in the air and feel the grass beneath your feet

Freddy popped up beside you with a wide smile

"Surprise!"

He then took you through everything you wanted to do

The games had every plushie you adored in multiple sizes and colors

Every ball you threw and every pin you knocked down barely made a sound

He even took you on a rollercoaster and sat beside you

There was a little wind on your skin, but the coaster remained quiet and didn't jostle you around like a normal one would

It was like he knew exactly what you needed in that moment

The night ended with you sharing some fair food together on a bench, the bright lights still dazzling around you

Michael Myers

He didn't quite understand why you were so upset at first

He thought carnivals were overrated and never had a desire to go to one himself

But he could see that sad look in your eye when you expressed your disappointment

You were the only person he actually cared about, so he knew he needed to do something to help you

The next morning, you went downstairs to the smell of popcorn

You could see that things had been changed around in the living room once you were there

There was an old fashioned popcorn maker in the corner

And next to it was an even older skee ball machine

Michael was standing beside them, just looking at your reaction

A huge smile grew on your face at the sight

Michael wasn't one to be sentimental, so the fact that he went out of his way to get these things for you meant a lot

He watched you play skee ball a couple of times before you dragged him over to play with you

He was surprisingly good for having not played before

After a couple more rounds, he pulled out a plushie of your favorite animal

It was a little dirty, but you can tell he probably looked high and low for it

He then sat you down on the chair in front of the TV and put on one of those roller coaster videos from online

You laughed at the video, enjoying hearing all the sounds and seeing the sky

But then the chair started to move in unison to the video, Michael squatting down and shifting it back and forth beside you

You ended the day off sharing popcorn together on the couch, listening to fair music from the TV

Jason Voorhees

The child in him can understand where you are coming from

He also used to want to go to carnivals, but he never felt comfortable doing so because of everyone teasing him

So now knowing that also want to experience what a fair is like, Jason felt motivated to make it a reality

You and him spending time together alone? Perfection, in his eyes

Plus, the woods are the perfect place to do this

Later that afternoon, Jason came inside and ushered you out the door to your confusion

But once outside, you saw an old roller coaster seat, a couple bags of cotton candy, a few small plushies, and an old basketball hoop

You looked at Jason confused before he handed you a basketball, watching you intently

You took a few moments to think about what to do before throwing the ball at the hoop, making it in right away

Jason walked over quickly and picked up one of the plushies, handing it to you

You began to laugh when you realized what he was doing

He quickly sat you in the roller coaster seat and began to move it around, imitating turns and bumps

This made you laugh even harder as he worked so hard to make it feel like an actual ride

You eventually had him sit beside you as you ate some cotton candy, telling Jason how much fun you had and how much you loved what he did for you

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas has also never been to a carnival before

But you explaining what they're supposed to be like and everything made him want to go with you

But he understands how they can become sensory overload

They'd probably be too much for him to handle too

So why not bring the carnival to you instead?

You woke up in the morning to the backyard being all decked out

There were bags on candy and plushies on a table next to a balloon "popping" game

Thomas was super proud of himself for building the game just for you

He took your hand and led you over to everything

He watched you bounce a small ball on a few balloons, handing you a plushie afterwards

(Having the ball bounce was his way of popping the balloons without the loud sound)

He even managed to bounce a couple himself

He also shared some candy with you in between rounds of playing

Thomas eventually took you back inside to the living room where he had a basket and a fan hooked up

He sat you down inside and turned on the fan, letting it blow on you

He then began to push the basket around on the floor, leading you all over the place in the living room

All that could be heard were your giggles throughout the house

Bubba Sawyer

As fun as carnivals sounded, Bubba never really got to go to one either

But all he knew was that you wanted to go but was upset that you couldn't because of the sensory stimulation

So Bubba decided to stay up all night, building what he could out of scrap metal and wood he had around the house

He managed to rig up a game where you tried to knock glass bottles over

He also built a little wooden stand where you could "purchase" snacks and drinks

He even dug a small path in the ground for a small basket to follow

When he excitedly dragged you outside the next morning, you were shocked to see everything

He hurriedly gave you a ball and motioned for you to knock down the pins

He then rewarded you with a plushie even if you didn't get them all down

He offered you candy, gave you big hugs, and even tried to "win" you extra plushies

The day ended with him pushing you in the basket along the dug out path, winding around the yard and making you smile in delight

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms had been to his share of carnivals in the past, but he hates seeing that frown on your face since you haven't done the same

He doesn't like leaving the house of course, but he does the best that he can

He makes each piece of furniture in the house a different ride for you

He even raids the pantries for extra snacks and foods that he thinks you'll like

And his old stuffed animals? The perfect prizes for winning some games!

He waits until the night, waking you up from your sleep to take you downstairs

He adjusted the lighting so it was a little darker, but this made everything else stand out

He put on some music on the record player as he took you on all the rides, giving you hugs from behind

And although they weren't quite traditional fair games, he did the best he could with his parent's old pool table, setting up different plastic cups to knock down

And every plushie you won was a memory for Brahms, which made it even more special

Although a little selfish, he can be quite romantic when he wants to be

Norman Bates

He can't bear to see you cry like this

He'd love to go to the carnival with you, but he also wants to see you comfortable and happy

He decides to close the motel for the day- anything for you was worth it

And after breakfast, you were surprised to see that each motel room had been turned into something different

Some had different games in them

Others had sweets and fair food

And one even had your own little rollercoaster, the TV playing a ride POV for you

You about jumped in his arms when you saw everything

You excitedly grabbed his hand and pulled him along to each room, making sure that he played and ate alongside you the whole time

It wouldn't have been the same if he wasn't at the carnival with you

Your favorite was the rollercoaster though, loving how he stayed close to your side as he moved the "ride" around in unison to the TV

Everything was perfect

And Norman reserved the last room as a little resting area, cuddling up next to you on the bed and asking how you liked everything

He thinks that maybe he should do this again in the future

Billy Loomis

With the carnival coming to town, Billy could immediately tell that something was wrong

When you told him about your disappointment, he wiped away your tears and told you it would be okay

A couple days later, you were at the empty town fair with Billy

All it took were a couple threats from "Ghostface" to the police station for the residents to not show up that day to the carnival

He toured you around for a bit, showing you all the food and rides

And when you were ready, you guys ended up trying out some of the games

He let you pick out whatever plushie you wanted and he got it down for you

He also sat in the rollercoaster cart with you, letting you experience what it was like to be in one with him without all the loud noises and craziness that usually come with the ride

And he happily hopped into a couple different food trucks, pretending to be a worker and asking for your order

It was probably the best date you've had with Billy so far

Stu Macher

Stu despises seeing you upset about anything

He'd go to the lengths of the earth to keep you smiling

So when he told you to come over to his place for date night, you were shocked to see your own mini carnival inside his living room

All of your favorite foods and drink were set out on the table

And he even made his own version of the pin game you'd normally see at carnivals

He may have stolen some of the "winnable" plushies however

But it's the thought that counts in his book

The fact that he did all of this for you was enough to make you cry

He happily took your hand and led you over to everything, explaining what he did and how you both were going to have so much fun

He even made a couple cut outs in a large box he had, allowing both of you to fit in the "rollercoaster" ride

He tried mimicking the actual ride by making funny noises and putting his hands in the air, shaking the box around with you in it

He may have knocked you both over a couple of times, but it was still fun either way

Eric Draven

You're sad about not being able to go to the carnival?

Well lucky for you, Eric has access to his share of empty rooftops, giving you plenty of room to have fun

He spent a couple of nights piecing together different games and foods that he thought you would like

He even bought a few different strings lights to give off that colorful experience you'd see at an actual fair

He waited until the middle of the night once the city was asleep to take you onto the rooftop with him

It was honestly so pretty

The lights, the gentle music, and the cool feeling of the night air was perfect

Your carnival visit was very relaxing too

You played some games together, Eric insisting that he had to play a few rounds in order to win you a plushie

And to your surprise, he "won" you the stuffed animal you had been eyeing in the store a week ago

And any fair food you've wanted to try? Eric somehow has it for you

You both ended the night sharing cotton candy and looking out over the quiet city together, your head resting on his shoulder

[introvertllux]

Chrono Heart (Future Trunks X Black!OC)

*I DO NOT OWN/CLAIM TO OWN ANYTHING IN RELATION TO DBZ. I ONLY CLAIM THE ORIGINAL STORY IDEA AND BLACK!OC IN THIS STORY!*

Chapter 1: The Relic and the Reawakening

The remnants of Dr. Gero’s lab were a graveyard of twisted metal and shattered dreams, a monument to the hubris of a man who played god with circuits and steel. Hidden beneath this forsaken ruin, a capsule hissed open, and from its depths, a figure emerged—Axa. With skin like polished ebony, eyes that shimmered with the golden light of a thousand captured stars, and hair that cascaded down in an untamed torrent, she was a sight to behold—beauty crafted by ambition, innocence shaped by design.

:readmore:

She stood, hesitantly, in the dim light of her metallic tomb, a stark contrast to the vividness of her form. Her limbs moved with an elegance that was almost haunting, yet her expression held the innocence of a child looking out upon the world for the first time.

Unbidden, Axa's body propelled her through the labyrinth of the city, every calculation in her head leading her to an encounter she did not understand. It was as if an invisible hand guided her to a serene park, where the familiar silhouette of Android 18 stood, lost in the simplicity of feeding ducks at the pond—a moment of peace in a life so often marked by conflict.

Axa’s presence cast a shadow over the tranquility, and 18 turned, her eyes widening in shock and recognition. "Axa? Is it really you?" she gasped, the breadcrumbs slipping from her fingers.

Their reunion was explosive—a symphony of fists and flashes of shared history. As they sparred, 18, amidst parries and takedowns, called out to the essence of the girl she once knew.

"Remember when we sparred with 16 in the orchard, the cherry blossoms falling around us like snow?" she grunted, dodging a swift punch. "Or the time we snuck into the city, 17 dared us to ride the rollercoaster and you laughed until you cried?"

Each word struck Axa deeper than any physical blow could, unlocking the sealed doors of her memory. "And that night, the four of us lay in the grass, making shapes out of stars, dreaming of freedom," 18 continued, her voice laced with nostalgia, even as she blocked a kick. "But then you were gone. Gero said you were defective, but you were just... you were just Axa. You were just a little girl, and I... we, I should have done something."

Tears spilled from Axa's eyes, liquid diamonds trailing down her face, an alien sensation that stopped her cold. Her hands came up to her face, fingers trembling as she touched the moisture with wonder. "What... what is this?" she whispered, her voice breaking.

"It's crying, Axa," 18 replied with a bittersweet chuckle, the fight draining from her. "It happens when you're sad... or happy... or even when you laugh so hard, you can't stop. It means you're alive."

Axa's golden gaze, now dulled by confusion and sorrow, met 18's. "I don't... I don't understand," she said, a lost child wrapped in the shell of a machine.

"I know," 18 said, stepping forward to wrap an arm around her. "I forgot to search for you when I found my own life. But now I’m here, and I'll help you. Let me show you the life I've built. You’ll fit right in. Krillin, my husband, Marron, our daughter—they'll love you."

The promise of a family warmed something inside Axa, a spark of belonging that she didn't know she needed.

_____________________________________________________________

The scene shifted to the familial home, where the spark was met with a torrent of fear and misunderstanding.

The home that once held warmth and laughter was now a battlefield of words and emotions. The cozy living room, with its family photos and children's drawings, became the arena. Krillin's face was flushed with a mix of protective fear and incandescent rage. "18, how in the world could you think this was okay? Bringing her into our home without even a word to me?" His voice shook the very foundations of their sanctuary, a volume reserved for life-and-death battles, not familial disputes.

"You're not getting it, Krillin!" 18 shot back, her own voice a force to be reckoned with. "You think I can't see danger? I know danger. I've been danger. But she—" 18 jabbed a finger towards Axa, "—is just lost. We owe her this!"

Marron, with the blissful ignorance of childhood, had wandered over to Axa, offering a small stuffed dinosaur with a smile. "Do you wanna play with Mr. Dino?" she had asked, her voice a sing-song note in the dissonant symphony of the adults' conflict.

Krillin's eyes darted from Marron to Axa, and with a speed that betrayed his martial prowess, he scooped Marron into his arms. "Marron, sweetie, why don't you go play in your room, okay?" His words were gentle with his daughter, but when his gaze swung back to Axa, they were steel blades. "Stay away from her," he snapped at Axa. "We don't know you, what you're capable of—what if you're programmed to…to…"

His words trailed off, but the accusation hung heavily in the air, an invisible smog choking the room. Axa, who stood like a statue wrought from onyx, felt each word strike her. Her hands, which moments ago had explored the texture of the child's toy, now hung limply at her sides. The shine in her golden eyes dulled, a gloss of pain over the brightness.

"Krillin," 18's voice cracked like a whip, her anger transforming into something fierce and protective. "Listen to yourself! She’s not a threat! How can you judge her like this?"

The silence that followed was suffocating. Axa's soft, disbelieving sobs were the only sound, a heartbreaking melody that seemed to wrap around the room. She blinked rapidly, her human-like innocence clashing with her android perfection as she attempted to process the whirlwind of rejection and anger.

"I… I don't want to be a problem," Axa stammered out, her voice a mere whisper but slicing through the tension. "I didn't mean to cause trouble. I'm sorry."

Krillin, his face softening for a moment at Axa's words, struggled with the turmoil inside him. His duty to protect his family warring with the empathy he had learned from his wife. "18, I…," he started, but the words tangled, a mess of emotion and duty.

"No," 18 interrupted, her eyes glistening with unshed tears of frustration. "No, Krillin. She's not just some android. She's Axa. Remember that. She's not the past; she’s someone who needs us now."

In the quiet that followed, the trio stood, the balance of their world shifted, as they each considered the weight of what it meant to be family, to be human, or something akin to it. Axa, still caught in the eye of the storm, dared to hope for a harbor in this tempest—a place where she could anchor her heart.

The turmoil in the room reached a crescendo, a tidal wave of emotion that crashed over Axa with overwhelming force. As Krillin and Android 18's argument continued, Axa's mind began to fracture under the strain. She clutched at her temples, her golden eyes flickering erratically as memories—long suppressed—surged to the surface.

She was small again, diminutive and human, watching through the bars of a crib as giants in white coats and stern faces argued loudly above her. The cacophony of their voices was terrifying, a discordant symphony that crescendoed into an unbearable din. Words like "potential" and "failure" were thrown back and forth, volleying over her head like some high-stakes game she could not comprehend.

Her breath hitched, a robotic mimicry of a panic attack, and her body began to seize up. Her limbs locked in place, and the glow in her eyes sputtered like a dying star. "System… overload…" she managed to gasp out before collapsing like a puppet with its strings cut, her form going limp and unresponsive on the floor.

"18, we need to do something!" Krillin's voice was now tinged with fear for Axa, the protective instinct he felt for all living beings—especially those under his roof—kicking in.

18 knelt beside Axa, her fingers hovering over the android's inert body. Her heart, though not flesh and blood, ached with a mix of fear and protectiveness. "Dammit," she cursed softly, her usual composure fraying at the edges.

Krillin ran a hand through his hair, his eyes darting from his wife to the still figure on the floor. "Maybe… we should take her to see Bulma. She's dealt with… this kind of thing before."

Android 18's eyes narrowed at the suggestion. "Bulma has a good heart, but she's got that scientist's curiosity. She'll want to dissect every part of Axa's programming," she said, her voice a growl of resistance. "And Vegeta…" she trailed off, a scowl creasing her features at the thought of the Saiyan prince's unpredictable nature.

Krillin nodded slowly, understanding his wife's concerns. "We don't have to tell everyone, just Bulma. She'll know what to do," he insisted, his tone imploring. "Vegeta won't lay a finger on her—I'll deal with him if I have to."

The two locked eyes, a silent conversation passing between them. It was a gamble, but Axa needed help that they couldn't give. With a heavy heart, 18 agreed. "Fine. But we're not leaving her side. Not for a second."

Carefully, they gathered Axa's motionless form, her weight a testament to the gravity of their situation. Together, they stepped into the cool evening air, the weight of Axa's fate a heavy shroud upon their shoulders as they made their way to Capsule Corporation, and into the uncertain future that awaited them.

______________________________________________________________

More on Axa (Pronounced: Axe-e-ah or Ahh-x-ah)

*Apologies for inconsistent art styles. I utilized Art breeder. Unfortunately I don't see many resources to help create black!Ocs in consistent styles and diverse poses out there. If you know of any please let me know! As you continue reading the story imagine her in the DBZ art style. Thank you!*

____________________________________________________________

Taglist!

@thejadetrios @shytothemaxx @variousfandom @konekomews @physicallyherementallysomewhere @ikittybakugou345 @jasxnoamii @enderempresss16 @elliethewitch @carzychameleon @feitanii @hollownight @dragonloverdrawer @moonlight445sblog @yelan-butterpeatea @ringsofpersonti @weeb-boy261 @jkr820 @somehowexist @scrumptiouss007 @emajohn40 @justicetheghost @thirstyhoebutbetteryehsjsg @rasaberrygray @etherialblackrose @random-insomnia15 @deviousmunchkin @galaxys-stuff @bluehibiscusgarden @kunoichis-world @x-bakudeku-x @spectoralstrudel @i-wanna-fuck-monsters @interobanginyourmom @twdhtgawm @kkeidawrites

[arclundarchivist]

SPOILERS C3E91

-

TURN BACK

-

THIS IS NOT A PLACE OF COMFORT!

-

Goodnight, Smiley Day

He blinks, and he…. feels the touch of light on his skin.

The warmth of the air around him, he breathes in and he tastes all he has ever wished, oranges and mint and chocolate and water.

Fresh Cut Grass pushes himself to stand and looks around. An idyllic field rolls into the distance, all about him, except for where he currently stands.

A crossroads.

And from it, the paths extend far beyond the horizon, rising into beautiful tresses of the goddess he has only ever seen at a distance.

The Changebringer.

She smiles, and suddenly, she and he are eye to eye, her gentle hand reaching up to caress his cheek.

"I… is this how it always goes?" they ask.

She laughs, gentle yet sad, her eyes surprisingly downcast.

"No… no, it isn't," she states, looking to the sky, and he follows her gaze.

Ruidus bleeds in the sky, scarlet light snapping and biting at the pristine blue, and he can hear… a scream on the wind.

"We live in unfortunate and unusual times." she breathes.

"Yeah… yeah." he agrees, looking up at her after a moment.

"Did I make the right choice?" he asks, clutching for the coin but instead finding her hand.

She gives it a comforting squeeze.

"What do you think?" she asks.

"I…" he pauses.

"Yes." he finally states, and she smiles.

"I don't know what kind of path I'd set them on, but… I'm glad they'll get to keep walking on." he states, "Even if I'm… not there with them."

"Who says you won't be?" the Changebringer asks, gesturing towards the roads winding away from them.

And suddenly he can see his friends.

Ashton, carving a path, grief, and rage shattering stone as his coin, a beacon, clutched tightly in their fist.

Imogen kissing her hand as she lays it on his body, that same hand then tightly grasping her mother's, a road reforged between them, "Thank you, Letters."

Orym, standing firm, bronze armor marked by three blades of grass shimmering defiantly against an oncoming storm, "Together, Grass."

Chetney carving a toy in his likeness to hand to a frightened child, "For a smiley day."

Fearne snatches the coin from Ashton, kissing it and slipping it back, "So we're both with them for tomorrow."

Laudna stands at a crossroads beneath a tree, half livened, half wizened, reaching for the glow even though it burns her hand. There is resolve in her eyes.

Dorian, amidst unfamiliar faces, staring up at the red moon.

"We're fighting for a shiny day."

A confused dwarf looks up at him, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Something a friend always wanted. A good day." Dorian remarks, tapping the sending stone in his palm.

"I love you, Faithful Caregiver." A soft voice murmurs.

They freeze, turning to see FRIDA standing and looking at him, gently smiling, "I'll see you soon."

"No, you… you take your time," FCG mutters, and to his surprise, tears track down his face.

The Changebringer reaches out and wipes them away before pulling him into a tight embrace.

Huh… so this was a hug.

"Do… do folks always feel most alive at the end?"

"Not always. The end doesn't give the journey meaning; it's the joys you find along the way." The Changebringer returns, squeezing him tighter.

He sees Milo, Dancer, Joe, Deanna and Prism, all trying to make sense of the world and the paths set before them.

"You did good." a gruff voice remarks, the whisper of Eshteross.

"But the journey's just begun." a more jovial voice states, Bertrand.

And there they stand, down the road.

"What… what happens now?" FCG asks, looking to the Changebringer.

"Now, we do what we can from this side." she states, "And see this all to the end of the road."

"Alright… alright." he remarks, smiling as she squeezes his hand once more, "I'm ready."

And he heads on down the road.

Goodbye, Fresh Cut Grass. Your love, your faith, your hope, let it ever be a beacon for those who knew you best.

[cutieeva]

Smile

𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫

Female Reader

Warnings : Murders. Violence. Kidnapping. Confinement. Dubious consent. Sexual assault.

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒

❛ 人食い ❜

It was not (Y/N)'s intention to ensnare the gaze of a demon when she ventured into the hallowed temple however the only person she can blame is herself along her salvation.

"Useless". Her (E/C) eyes watching the fire burn her parent's body seem useless. After all it's a waste of fire if it's used to burn worthless humans. Those humans should rot to stink and even undeserving to be eaten by insects and animals. It deserve to rot only.

A yawn slip her lips that caught the attention of her male bulter Ryujin. He, stand beside her glare displeasingly of her lack of respect and boredom yet could one blame her if it's a waste of time ? Those parents' of her were bound to die sooner or later and to god's gracefulness they died little early. Unexpected too if she add, both perish in slumber together, sleeping beside one another. What a painless death even (Y/N) envy's because it's known to none how her death will be of.

Painful ? Plainless alike her parents ? Or perhaps a murder ? Now, that's an uninteresting way to die because she will not consent to die and if someone does tries, she prays to god her future killer must live in misery their entire life, filled with diseases and sadness yet beg to die or even better by suicide which will show how much was her killer tormented, then that's an happy ending.

Oh, god forbid her to dream of such filthy futures. Now she is alive and young at her prime and free of her parent's strict grip with endless of their wealth. Now, that what she loves about her parents save for their powerful surname beside her name.

"Bless their heart for leaving such wealth". She pray to heaven if it's exist and wipe the tear from her yawn to leave, following her butler and few personal maids. "The will is in my name, is it not ?" After all she is the sole heir and indeed the butler nod. An smile almost bloom that she manage to refrain and pursed her lips to think.

"What should I do ? What should I do ?" It is dawn at this moment how she recalls clearly her lines of tutors strangle her by the meaningless books of education and advise of how to be a good bride, following the usual routine of eating in silence, dressing, learning painting, sleep and the next day like an wooden clock the circle continuous each day. Never in her life from the childhood was she grant with such free time thus having it is, seem unnatural, discomfort within her skin.

Only with the free time, not with the lack of her parent's presence because she could be in luck if she was even granted the glimpse of their faces from their busy live. A wife too busy to serve her husband who, he had busy in counting the papers of yen despite drowning in it.

Funny how they never cared what should had been important, she. (Y/N), their flesh and blood who could have at least cried if not aside from pity she felt for her parents, unfortunately. Nevertheless she spring to the front door. "Let me enjoy the markets of street to my heart's content". Announcing her decision she walk tailing her maids and butler who quite worked like a male nanny to her too. Seeing her from a little baby to this young beautiful woman his heart grew fond of the lonely child unaware she never felt lonely only annoyance.

The market are lit with lights in jolly and the people mingle like bees attracted to shops like flowers for honey. All talking to one another, enjoying themselves and buying things and the shop owners giggling at the yens in their hands.

However all grasp in awe and stare, halting their actions just to see a young lady behind her train of attendant maidens struggled beneath the weight of numerous portmanteaus, boxes, and resplendent trinkets, bespeaking an unparalleled affluence and her in aglow of gold and that lady is (Y/N), smiling in arrogance at the green envy from women and lust from men dripping. How animalistic she laughs, the people can not even hold their facades correct.

No wonder they are beneath her and she above. From today will she be the queen of her own life and none would point finger at her, how could they if they won't even have fingers to point as she will cut it.

Walking to the next store, the owner salivating at her wealth and she smiles.

☯

"Boring". The word made the jewelry owner gulp and sweat hard. "Boring". (Y/N) repeated, touching the edges of the same old glossy gold. "Boring". Rolling her eyes finally her feet walk away, tuning out the female owner's pleads, and boring choices of words.

The radiant sun cast its golden light upon her, illuminating her refined features as she walk from the roof, behind her, the maidens holding few bags of shops and Ryujin hold a parasol above her. "Does after one week, the shops of these streets lose out to sell ?" She question, looking at the mid-aged man.

"Usually not, Miss". He answered and she sigh.

"Pitiful". Only sixty shopping was made today. Not more, a yawn slip her lips, drowning in boring the area she lives in. Covering her yawning mouth by her hand.

"Miss, could you please spare few money ?" Whisper voice of a boy caught her to look down, his foul face with dust and ink along the teared and clearly man's cloth on his tiny body would have melt an heart and pity one's eyes however (Y/N) only stare then at the distorted metal bowl fill with some coins and she look at him again, directed her words to her servant.

"Fifty boxes of food from the restaurant". At once a pair of maiden obeyed her order, within small span of time they hold boxes of food. "Here, your food". In those tiny hands, her servants gave all the food and some put on the dusty ground. "Eat it".

The boy who's eyes watered and lips smile like lit candle in a birthday, staring at so many food while (Y/N) tilt her head, observing. How honest he is. "Thank you". In pure gratitude he said, bowing to the ground and he flinch at her loud laughter.

She scoff then, bend a little, her clear (E/C) eyes stare not at him as if at his soul directly and said. "Thank you ? What do you think I am ? A saint ? Of course not. I do not gave you the loads of food out of the pure heart of kindness. No ! Never". She laughs louder like it's idiotic. "You foolish, foolish boy, it's a debt. I want to see if I gave you this food and you survive then I want you to remember each waking time that the reason of your existence is because of only me. And the debt shall be collected in the future". Harshly she said and the butler did not flinch, the boy did. "Nothing more and nothing less". Her words came to end and she stood straight gracefully, walking glancing back not once.

"What shall I do now, Uncle Ryujin, advise me by your wise vision". The said man sigh.

"Honest or lie". She smiles.

"Lie please. Honests are boring, lies are interesting to unfold". The man cleared his throat.

"Then I recommend some more shopping to other areas—".

"Thus, in honesty you desire me to no more torment my maiden servants feet by roaming the ground and pour money mindlessly ?" She cut him off, wanting to be proven right of her envision.

"True". (Y/N) chuckle. It was easy. That's when her sight caught at an interesting manor. Not big enough to be someone's home nor small enough to be a expensive shop.

"An what ?" She point her finger to the manor and Ryujin glance at it.

"An temple, Miss". He answer.

"An temple ?" He nod at her scepticism and she chuckles. "What temple is it ? Buddhist ? Or ?" The man shake his head to confuse her further.

"The temple is called Eternal Paradise Faith". She moves her hand to continue his explanation of something unheard of. "It's a place where the leader listens to all his followers' troubles and gives them advices from the god's words he hears and a chance to visit the paradise once they die". A mocking smile spread across her lips.

"What an pitiful place. I wonder". She could not even laugh at the thought of such place gathering outside the manor just to see a human as their leader and find peace within the man ? Are they not afraid to be used, fed lies and all ? Is it not like offering one's life to another's hand ? And she can not at all imagine someone offering the control of their lives. It sounds unreal and foolish.

"We should go inside". Ryujin surprise her, a man not tied by any reglious is encouraging peak her curiosity yet she does not desire.

"No". She declines. The suffocating thought of reglious people surround her with good and God seem like an illusion. Good and kind people exist in few numbers thus people pure helping others in name of reglious appear even rare, it's simply impossible.

"However Miss, I reccomend it. For the own good for my old mind peace sake ?" The old man never tour inside the temple as he was so busy at his late master's orders however he wishes to now.

"No". Plainly she decline because what his wish has to do with her. "You may go by yourself". She gave the permission with no reluctant, ignoring the curiosity to at least peek how the temple works. Something belongs to no god.

She turn her heels and about to walk away however merely imagining her boring day of returned to home only to sit in silence at the huge mansion by herself seem very distasteful thus she turn around and "Let us grace your leader with my presence". The aged man's surprise melt to happiness and her gaze hardened, verging on disgust, as she observed the undue influence this temple leader wielded over her normally steadfast butler.

It was few feet walks and they cut the line thus after the person inside would come outside will be their turn. (Y/N) roll her eyes at the silent glares of pleasants. Bad for them, if she has wealth how could she not take advantage of it.

Suddenly a young man with rimmed teary eyes come out and Ryujin nod at his master indicating it's their turn indeed. They were about to enter when she raise her hand in front of Ryujin. "You, will stay outside". The man furrow.

"Why, miss ?"

"Servants do not ask questions to their master's order". And the man silence his thoughts yet the betray of emotions were convey from his eyes. Foolish man, (Y/N) thought, she smile enjoying his discomfort because if she indulge in letting him get more closer to the leader he did not even met before, perhaps the leader will own the power of her butler, not (Y/N).

"You three, come with me". The maidens quietly followed their mistress and she went inside, observing inch of the wealth spent on this temple and finally her sight met rather an unseen pair of iridescent eyes, the owner is sitting on his throne as the leader of the temple she assumes.

With fluid elegance, she knelt to sit alongside her maidens who bowed to him in respect, she care not enough to show and the leader smile upon noticing.

"He is unexpectedly young and handsome". Bit odd to her as leaders usually must been aged or at least appear to be.

"Thus, please express your sorrows for me to help". His smile tender and her eyes soften before her lips quiver.

"My parents vanished from this mortal realm, leaving me, a tender orphan, to navigate the cruel world alone, burdened with their vast fortune. Without a husband's protective guidance, I find myself beset by insolent servants, who dare question my authority. Yet, the true anguish lies not in their impertinence, but in the desolate solitude of my manor, where only my shadow provides constant companionship." Her gaze cast down, voice barely above whisper. "Thus, revered leader, I implore you, guide me toward the haven I so desperately seek, my paradise." She finished sniffing and the maidens' countenances, normally schooled in discretion, betrayed telltale signs of astonishment.

Dōma, the leader notice the difference of expression and smile. "Fear not, for the heavens above—". His act of assure was cut by her loud laughter behind her hand. Growing louder and unladylike. His smile crease a little.

(Y/N) withdrew her hand, and a radiant smile, one that illuminated the very sanctum of his temple, unfolded upon her face—the brightest, most resplendent he had ever beheld within these hallowed walls.

"Are you indeed a divine emissary? Did the heavens not resound you with the Lord's words, 'Foolish mortal! She who sheds tears is the most fortunate and affluent of all'? And still, you dared to dupe me with deceitful words. You false man" She laughed some more and Dōma, who could not help yet smile wider in interest after finding the only woman to see though his lies.

"Why ? Do you not believe in heaven and hell ?" An amusing question he ask and he truly hoped she won't bore him with the same old answer.

"They do—". He sigh. "—in us. Within us and our mind. If believing in something gives us the power to live then why not ? Heaven and hell do exist" He raise his eyebrows, quite not understood her twisted speech.

"Pray tell, what do you imply ?" An eager lace his voice. She tried not to find it distaste.

"I am saying. I do not believe such things I have not seen them yet if people suggest they exist then why not. They exist in us". Simple truth for him yet bitter truth of the human. First time one acknowledge such universal honesty he thought in his decades remain elusive in his lifetime. Good grace, he lived on as a demon, granting him the privilege to see this entertaining lady.

"Moreover, your eyes—". His ears perk at the mention of his treasurous features. "—it's disgusting to see, when the pity is plainly in sight". She rose from her seat, her words tinged with disdain. "Amend your appearance, if you truly wish to fool people". He let out a cherry chuckle.

"Why did you seek me out, knowing full well my deceitful nature ?" So entertaining. He finds difficult to let her slip, her distaste, arrogance, act, all compailing to him. So many amusing changing expression with honest mind. Delicious to taste. His gaze roamed freely over her form, assessing the vitality she possessed.

She observed the action and, curtailing her response, replied "Well, one is aware that a circus features a clown, yet patrons still flock to witness the spectacle. why ? Because it's entertaining watching the clown made a fool of himself". Her accusenery speech did not went past him and his laughter grew errier louder.

"I am a clown in your eyes ?" the word seem distasteful to him for some reason yet his smile remain.

"Well, in one's speech could be distorted in other's view thus, decide yourself". Again, that twisted ridicule of words now becoming irritated. Dōma does not really enjoy becoming the laughter, he likes to laugh not be laughed. A subtle difference.

(Y/N) satisfied with her conversation, walk towards the exit with her maidens.

THUD ! she flinch and look behind and her lips part.

In sight is the wall bore the ghastly image of a maiden's corpse, her once-pure form now a gruesome canvas of blood and suffering, the splatter patterns echoing the grotesque, inky trails of alike a insect's violent demise. And the other maiden, her lips parted to shriek for rescue, was mercilessly struck against the wall, her slender body shattered by the impact, her final breath escaping in a faint whisper.

All by the false man (Y/N) claim. It seems she misjudged that he is not only a false messager of god however also not a human. Her body stay at her roots, watching Dōma's bloodied body knelt near the limp bodies and slowly like an creature his sharp nails snap the head away which she flinch harshly and close her eyes only hearing the crunching, licking noise of eating human flesh.

Silent tears fell down and breath halt alltogether and his eating felt centuries to her when his footsteps come near her, the stink of blood overwhelm her as for the first time she ever smell it. She could feel his body close to her yet not touching and the shadow cast upon her.

"Open your eyes". Tender his voice was and she obey, his smile menacingly wide smeared in the hue of fresh blood and his pair of Iridescent are devoid of any emotion. His beauty unsettling and uncanny.

Tears slide down and for some reason he came closer to lick it. The greasy tongue brush her cheek send shivers her spine and Dōma savour the taste. "Hmm ? Why does tears taste salty ?" Alike a innocent child his nose scrunch and (Y/N) could hardly slip her facade underneath pure disgust.

Dōma chort at the woman's still fiery nature and a overwhelming twist to play game controlled him. "Shall we play a game ?" Because he does not want to kill the toy he got. He tilt his head to closer to her ear and whisper.

"Run and I will see you tonight". As if free of trance she ran outside where her alive butler and maidens standing.

"Let's go". She commanded, not wasting a time to walk fast confusing her servants.

"Why so sudden ? And where are the three maidens ?" (Y/N) close her eyes to erase their death from her memory and a trinkle of guilt chew her inside.

"They decided to dedicate their lives to the leader". Lying is easier than face the truth she caused herself to spiral however she can't change the past thus all she can do is survive against that man-eater.

Upon the first step inside her mansion. She issued a sudden decree "Gather all essential belongings forthwith! We depart immediately to our secondary residence in the countryside". Her voice echoed through the halls as she exclaimed, "Do you comprehend my instructions ?" In perfect synchrony, her servants responded with a unified affirmation, their voices rising in obedient harmony before retrieving to the order.

Ryujin, who stay beside her further confuse at her sudden change of behavior. "Mistress, what change your—". His pause of words came when his eyes met her fearful ones. As said before he watched her grow to a adult and when he swears few of the emotions she ever shown was fear then something extreme occur to that temple. Something that plant fear in her. "I shall also join to hurry". He said, walk away and (Y/N) curl her fingers, determine to live until she dies of natural causes never murder that she did not consent. At least not so young.

☯

(Y/N) watch her mansion, the home she grew up turn smaller and smaller the far her carriage drive away and she drawn the curtains, digging crescent dents on her skin. A mistake she made and the price was to cowardly run away. She shouldn't have step a foot at all, however too late and now, she is the prey of a monster heard in tales to scare children.

"Is there no way to kill the man ?" As in every tale of monster has a weakness, he must have too. Does piercing in his heart kills him ? Or his brain ? She inhale deeply, unsure to solve a puzzle no one taught her to and Ryujin watch it all, choose silence.

☯

Once night prevail the sky. Her butler advise to not further travel in case a accident occur and they are much far from the town they lived and (Y/N) agreed, unsure whether it was the right choice, well she will soon come to know because after resting at a inn, changing dress and sleeping in different rooms.

(Y/N) toss and turn at the vomiting images that seem to not leave her mind at all. Sweat glisten at the moonlight peeking through the curtains when shuffling and slicking noise pass her ears.

In fear her body froze and her eyes close however the noise only grew and grew until.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Mocking knocks quiver her body before the door slide open, that stink of death whiff her nose and few drips on ground startle behind her. The gap of weight got closer and closer until she felt a shadow tower over her head, wet drops fall on her skin yet she remained at the pretense of her sleep.

"Wake up, I can hear your heartbeat faster". In his childish giggle she dare open her eyes, directly meeting death. That monster tower her and few inches away from her face, nose touching and the wet drips are the fresh blood from his mouth. Her heart almost stop. "Aww, looking so cute". His cooing voice provide her no comfort as he laughed more.

She stare at him only and he waits for her beg, cry or pled.

She doesn't. If she is bound to die, she will with dignity.

He likes it thus he remove the blanket from her body and slide beside her, each muscle tense in (Y/N)'s body and his corpse numbness embrace her like a pair of couple sharing one bed.

"You are warm" He savor the feeling and inhale her smell of living flesh. She stopped trembling and he likes that— likes ? Likes ? What does it mean like ? Does he not like killing all ? So why does this passionate him ?

What does it mean he likes it ? Likes what ? And what is like ? To like and be liked ?

Confusion like group of ants crawl in his brain, for the first time he feels like. Not think like or create like. He feels the like of her body in his. Blending into one another.

Dōma buried his face in her side of neck and she close her eyes in disgust. He inhale deeply. He likes it. He likes it. He enjoys it. 

His first feeling.

His first emotion ! Dōma's grin spread ear to ear and turn her around and cage her in his hands, looking from above. She is forced to watch his animalistic smile and— pleasure ?

Was not before he devoid of emotions ? Like a doll mimicking human expressions ? Wait a moment, does he unable to—

"You are feeling pleasure from all this ?" Her distasteful clear and he laughs.

"Yes ! Very much. Very, very much". Giggling sound alike screeching noise he stare at her.

"You are inhumane. You are a mistake of nature". Spiteful she said, closing her eyes to appear to die yet her mind is racing with the possibilities of how to survive.

"I am not ! I am what I desired". The smile uneven and eyes fill with bloodlust she did not care open thinking back to their first encounter.

"Would you kill me ?"

"Yes".

"Why ?"

"Because eating you will offer me have emotions". She snap her eyes open, emotions, emotions ! Right, what lack in him was feelings, emotions.

"What made you think I can give you that ?" Dōma tilts his head, watching her unchanged face, more like her lips shaping words.

"I like it when touching you". She inhale at that, almost impulse to push him and ran away however she can not, not far away from the speed she witness yesterday morning.

"Then you do not have to kill me. I can give you that by living more easily". It perk his attention. She can give him emotions ? A being weaker than nature itself is suggesting to give him something nature could not ? What a pitiful sight.

"Believe me. I can". Dōma nod.

"Give me one now". (Y/N) stare into those blank iridescent eyes and lean upward to plant a kiss on his smeared blood lips where he narrowed his eyes in doubt before her tongue part his lips to invade and passionately kiss him, tingle the metallic taste.

Dōma who never had kissed an woman, only ate them for the first time feel pleasure. The sweetness of her tongue circling around his flesh and her hands hold his face so tenderly. It made him feel unutterable emotions.

Giggy slit his stomach and in hunger for more he grasped her fragile form, pulling her closer, their chests entwined, skin grazing skin, as Dōma savored the intoxicating kiss. His mind mushing and ears ringing. Did humans touch one another to feel this ? Is this what they call love ?

The rushing blood of vein, ears ringing and intoxicating mind ? If this is love then he would gladly keep her alive.

(Y/N) in need of air, pushing his unmovable chest and muffled grasp tries to earn his attention which she did finally. "Oh ! Oh ! I forget humans needs to breath". Snickering he about to kiss, she turn her head away.

"I can't give you all at once. However at promise I did give you a feeling did I not ?" He nod his head and (Y/N) bite inside her flesh, relive how she succeed in her gamble. The reason she thought kissing him would make him keep her alive because at his own words.

"I like it when touching you".

It's lust. Simple and plain. A lust from a man for woman's body he finds desirable and he felt just that.

"I will keep you alive then". Dōma smiles wide and (Y/N) slide tears.

☯

She sat alone in the corner of the vast, echoing chamber that Dōma had claimed as their home. Her body lean on the wall, her eyes draft to the inn room they crossed to leave and it took some time for her to discover the shade of the walls were grey not ruby along the bodies of innocent servants among them must be her butler too, the only person she knew. Dōma snatch that away. From her wealth, her life, her butler and the control she had.

The thud of door slamming rip her from the thoughts and his suffocating embrace from the side, his body caging her lungs to breath. Smiling ear to ear like a lover to his love. "Ah, the blissful ignorance of those insignificant mortals, basking in the fleeting solace of pleasure." For someone who does not feel emotions, he have strong opinions on humans and nature.

He indulge in her soft sheltered body with his huge one and spend the time using her like a rag doll than an human.

☯

Each day was the same. Dōma return from his either temple or a place he calls sacred and bask at her presence to his heart's content.

He learnt new emotions. Solace. Pleasure. Warmth.

However she languished in the corner of his chamber, her body a lifeless, listless shell, he began to feel an growing sense of ennui. Her once-enthralling submissiveness had devolved into a dull, soulless existence. She rarely even requested sustenance as if her soul died in that room with those worthless humans.

Dōma's fascination waned, replaced by an urge to discard her, to snuff out the faint flicker of life remaining. Yet, he hesitated, stayed by the doubt : would he ever find another plaything as exquisite, as perfectly broken ?

"Great leader, I beg of you, guide me on the path to paradise, for the sake of my beloved wife's eternal happiness." The human man's who voice he tune out, look to find him tearing as his words dissolving into sorrowful wails. Beside him, his wife sit still, her gentle hand reaching out to pat his shoulder, offering what comfort she could in her final moments.

"She is dying ?" The couple wince and the man nod as if wanting to do the complete opposite : deny. Oh, (Y/N) will also die of aging, if not young by sorrows. He must do something to retrieve the witty self before she dies for him eat her.

While (Y/N) is confined on someone else's power, watch the sun glide to the sky, roaring it's highest power of untouchable from the little crack she discover one day as strangely he never let her out in sun. Suddenly the door opened and she close her eyes to not see the monstrous entity close the distance and hold her tightly. Taking her to his lap and place her chin on his shoulder.

"What do you like the most ?" She open her eyes and turn her head unaware how near their faces was. His eyes study her.

"Flowers". She said. "Jewels, wealth—". Avert her gaze. "—and control".

"So shiny things ?" She furrow, wondering how he come to that conclusion when the differences were stark from one another then again, she glance at him through her lashes, he is unable to understand simple things.

"Yes". Look away to forget the past and believe an illusion she is alive and that's enough for her greedy heart. Uncaring to the man-eater smile, grasping her tighter.

☯

"You are letting me out ?" None to her for how long was she trapped and suddenly when he urge her to be outside at night did her heart got frighten. Was he wants to kill her ? Or trade her to other monsters like him ?

"Yes". Biting back the blooming smile on his lip, he grip her wrist. "A gift for you". Sliding into the bodies of other, they walk where he was leading her when her eyes caught the sight of Ryujin. Alive Ryujin and without a second thought, she bite his hand and run to the opposite direction of her butler's. Her only family.

Closer and closer. Her heart racing, eyes sparkling and smile breaking her facade. Never did one day she thought one person would give her taste of happiness and just as her fingers were about to graze his skin, a sudden yelp escaped her lips. A swift grasp dragged her back, plunging her into the chilling familiarity of his cold embrace. Dōma caught her.

She look back to find Ryujin who she mistook as an other aged man who's expression look nothing alike making her heart drop and face shatter in realization of what a fool she is spiraling into. Was the loneliness snatching her sanity ?

Her heart pounding and mind reeling.

"Smile". The whispered word caressed her ear, prompting her to lift her gaze. The sight that met her eyes would forever be etched in her memory. His usual blank iridescent eyes now shone with a fiery intensity, like stars ignited within their depths. His pale skin was set aflame with a gentle blush, imbuing his features with a tender vulnerability. Her breath halted. He looks like a man in love.

"Smile". He pleads. She notice. "Smile like that again". His voice weaker. "Smile". His finger touch the corner of her lips and tries to stretch that smile that lit his world by pounding his heart. The pure happiness of a emotion he saw craft heat under his skin that he is unable to understand. She looked the most beautiful creature chasing her loved things he ever laid eyes on he believes. He wishes to see her smile.

(Y/N) however does not share the same sentimental and wishes to scream, attracting heads and escape from the man's grip. Yes, she does not care if the humans died in process.

As if read her mind, he mutter. "Do you wish to kill them all ?"

"Would you do it ?"

"Yes". He breath.

"Why ? because you are hungry ?"

"No". He answer, his eyes never wavering. "For you I will do it". And the way he said those craft a feeling in her he would.

"Do not". She does not desire to carry more guilt in her than she has and she turn away to walk when a candle had fallen onto Dōma's arm, its flame burning his skin turning the pale skin to eerie black. Yet, to her astonishment, the wound began to regenerate, healing before her very eyes. He is immortal ? She look away and walk fast. Heart pounding refusing to believe she has to spent her entire life with a monster until her last breath. Controlled, suffocated.

☯

Jewels.

A sea of glittering jewels stretched before her, an dazzling tapestry of gold, diamonds, and emeralds. The room was awash in unimaginable wealth, every inch of floor hidden beneath the staggering array and she felt nothing aside from agitation.

"A gift". Dōma's voice from behind ring her head. Her body sore from the same sitting on his lap and her eyes roll back. "Smile".

"My life has been a tapestry of abundance, every desire fulfilled. There is nothing you can offer me to make me happy". Honestly she said. "Even not jewels". Dōma's smile crease and he hug her stomach tighter to melt within. Oh, how he wish for them to mold together. Always together however that smile is something he can never erase. The shimmer and the breath of laugh took his breath away.

☯

Solid gold bars. Pure gold layed on the ground along dresses she is yet to see. All in line like an real royalty. (Y/N)'s mind ponder how much wealth this monster owns or steal them ?

"A gift to be happy ?" His almost childlike question infuriates him. Disgusting man, how dare he question when he stole her life, ate her people, kept her alive for pleasure and doing at his whim to earn an emotion from her. He had no right to.

"As I have said before. No amount of wealth will have me happy when I had seen all. There is nothing I lack for you you to offer me". Dōma shake his head, the smile wider.

"There must be". She look at him.

"Could you afford to give me ?" He nod hastily.

"Yes, anything". (Y/N) tilts her head, snarling.

"Freedom. Let me go". The demon sank her want in his mind and almost his own head shake his head.

And words flee. "No". He could not do that. He can give anything she desires apart from freeing her life. He owns her life and is being too generous for his own good. He march to her and hold her shoulder in dreadful tight. "You are mine thus you won't be free from me". Each word he clearly utters like imprinting on her skin.

"Yes". Glaring she said. "Then offer me your weakness". Dōma halted, never in imagine did such question invade his mind. She draw closer, closer until their chest touching and hand on his shoulders.

"If you do—". Those (E/C) eyes bore into his. "—then I will laugh". Finished she plead. "Smile as you wish". Dōma's heart that hold no life pound at the image of her beauty.

And confess. "Sunlight. My weakness lies in sunlight". Like a foolish man he said out loud, as men in love are, foolish.

The corner of her lips lift in blooming smile and her eyes twinkle like diamonds against the dark glow, exuding vitality and joy. The breathtaking sight stole his breath, captivating him anew.

And the next moment was him pressed their lips together and hands roam on her body with want. (Y/N) breath cautiously, unable to rip her breath away from him and her stomach turn churn, because she truly do not wish to give him her first, her body. She despite being controlled yet here she is pushed to the door and kissed and touched in her entire body, her tears swell in sorrow.

Finally she turn her head away, to breath air in her lungs and Dōma's thirsty lips ravished her skin, tracing a fiery path from cheek to chin, neck, and collarbone. His hand grasp her breast, fondling it as he please and she wince.

Sweet, all she taste is the sweetest he was ever have privilege to, no flesh could be compared to the pleasure and taste she is bestowning him and the hunger is tearing him apart, wanting more and more. His another hand circle her waist, pulling her inexorably closer, primary urge to claim her his and his finger shifted her kimono off her shoulder, exposing tender skin, with a deep, shaking breath, he buried his face in the crook of her neck, his lips searing her skin in a passionate, all-consuming kiss deeply shaking her from her core.

While the sun outside, oblivious to the passionate affair raising little by little that her sight took note of and she clasp her hand on his shoulder, pushing his face into her skin and tried to engulf his entirety. Dōma returns the passion. Wanting to be one with the woman he loves and have her his, for eternal. He decided at the moment she smiled for him. She sealed her life. The golden rays of sun spread far and wide and (Y/N) let his hands rip her kimono, falling with silence on the floor and she stood nude and empty before his eyes that stare at her like staring for the first time, as if falling in love and embedded in his core mmeory.

She inhale breath, for a moment even catch a glimpse of his hand painted in fresh blood following the stench of death however when she blink, the pale hands with neat sharp nails return and his face, curved smile out of happiness, wide and delirious.

Perhaps he went mad, hugging her, feeling her nude to his cloth body and savoring the warmth of her lush skin belong only to him. "I love you". He confess and she met his heated gaze, avert before the grim surface and pull his face to kiss him by her hands on his shoulder and roll their bodies to push him on the door, this time.

The sun has lit the world up to greet morning to earthly creatures and (Y/N) lift her toes and cover his eyes, tilt her head to deepen the kiss and other hand slip past his body and open the door wide to push him with her entire strength she had outside, under the scoring sun.

Dōma, who was astonished, used his speed to escape came too late, the ray has touched his rotton skin, free of shield. It's too late. His countenance twisted in a rictus of pain and stare at the woman he loves betray him, for her freedom.

"This is my gift for you". Her weak legs sink down, watching his demise alike her own people. "Called pain". She utter above a whisper and tears roll down, utter lose and shallow her heart feel, she has no one spared in the world to call her own anyone.

Then her eyes in daze stare at those golds "Well, I can take these and my wealth back". Covering her nude by her cloth, she look away after he turned into nothing and stood to leave.

Language of love she heard the term. Very endearing to hear and yes, his love was nothing less than an unsettling intensity, a suffocating desire to possess. She still however assume he bears the gift offering one.

"Perhaps I bear too". As she did bestowed him her last gift, a emotion called pain wrapped in his death and betray by the one he desired the most.

FIN 

𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐨𝐟 ◜◺ 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 ◞◿

[sequinsmile-x]

Wealthy

Emily finds out she's pregnant, and she wants to tell Aaron as part of his birthday present. All she has to do first, is make sure it's still a secret by the end of the day.

-x-

Hi besties,

Here is Aaron's slightly belated birthday fic!!

It is a variation of a theme I wrote a long time ago, but with a completely different approach (IYKYK) <3

Humour is so hard to write, so I really hope you enjoy this!

As always, let me know what you think <3

-x-

Warnings: pregnancy

Words: 3.2k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily smiles at the sound of her family’s laughter coming from downstairs, Aaron and Jack’s matching laughs mixing in with Élodie’s giggle. She can picture her husband making breakfast, their two-year-old on his hip and Jack next to them, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he diligently helps his father pour out the dry ingredients for pancakes.  

There were times when she still couldn’t believe that this was her life. That she had a husband and two kids. A boy she loved as her own who called her Mom and a little girl with her smile and Aaron’s eyes. Her home not the house she had bought with her trust fund, but the people who lived in it.  A family she’d built from the rubble of her old life, her days now filled with a type of happiness she’d spent most of her life convincing herself wasn’t real. The stuff of books and movies and fairytales made for little kids to help them sleep at night in a world that was big and scary. But it was real. She found it in Aaron’s smile, in the way he loved her so deeply and without condition. It was in Jack’s laughter, the innocence and hope in his eyes that he’d managed to keep despite everything he went through so young. It was in Élodie’s fearlessness, in her love for life and the way she would press her face against Emily’s neck when she fell asleep.

She blows out a breath as the timer on her phone blares out in the bathroom, and she quickly turns it off. She gives herself a moment before she looks down, a laugh turning into a gasp as as covers her mouth to capture it. 

Happiness was in the positive pregnancy test she was holding in her hands. 

They’d been trying again ever since Élodie turned one. It had taken longer this time, each negative test stealing a bit of her hope that she’d get to do this again. That she’d get to have a third child, feel another one of her babies grow beneath her skin and bring them into the world. Usually, Aaron would be right on the other side of the door, ready to come in and comfort her or celebrate with her, but today was different for two reasons. 

Firstly, this time she was sure she was pregnant. She was exhausted, her boobs hurt, she needed to pee all the time and all of a sudden she felt like a bloodhound - coffee, hot sauce and anything with a strong smell enough to make her gag the moment she noticed them. 

The second reason was that it was Aaron’s birthday. 

She hadn’t told him her suspicions partially because she didn’t want to let him down again. She knew he hid his disappointment from her each month, all of his concentration on her and her feelings, his own sadness pressed into kisses he’d drop against the top of her head as she threw away another negative test. 

She also just really wanted to surprise him. 

A part of her that she couldn’t ignore, a part that was an old romantic, had come back to life when she first kissed Aaron. It had been laying dormant for a long time, pushed down into the recesses of her chest to a place she thought it would never escape from, but he brought it out of her. Made her want to do silly, cheesy, things like find an adorable way to tell her husband that he was going to be a father again. It was even more important to her since she hadn’t had the chance to do it with Élodie. They’d found out she existed by mistake, a simple check-up in a hospital in a town Emily had forgotten the name of after an unsub got a little rough with her during his arrest. Aaron had insisted she went to the hospital, something he’d claimed was the right call when the doctor confirmed she had a concussion, and she agreed because she could never so no when he looked at her with worry shining in his eyes.

She knew she’d never forget the look on the doctor’s face when he casually mentioned her pregnancy, clearly unaware they didn’t know until she and Aaron looked at him like he’d grown two heads. 

As much as she loved that part of their story, she wanted it to be different this time. She wanted to tell him herself, to see the joy take over his face and as the realisation set in, his dimples carved out in his cheeks before he pulled her into a tight hug. 

She wanted the stuff of movies and books and fairytales. 

She chuckles as she looks down at the test again and she slips it back into the box and then her purse, not wanting Aaron to accidentally come across it whilst she was at work. She wipes a tear from her cheek and then presses her hand onto her belly, rubbing her thumb back and forth just below her belly button.

“Well, you have excellent timing baby,” she says blowing out a breath, knowing she had to somehow get it together before she went downstairs. Aaron may have retired when Élodie was born, but he was still a damn good profiler, and she didn’t want him to see that something had changed the moment he looked at her. She had a plan that involved telling him when she got home from work when Jack and Élodie were in bed and it was just the two of them, “I love you so much already, and Daddy does too. Even if he doesn’t know about you yet.” 

She looks at herself once in the mirror, makes sure her makeup hasn’t slipped down her cheeks along with her happy tears, and she grabs her purse from the counter and heads downstairs. 

She smiles as she walks into the kitchen, holding her breath for a moment when the smell of coffee overwhelms her, swallowing thickly against the bile that attempts to rise up her throat. She’d distracted from the nausea when Jack runs over and wraps his arms around her. 

“Morning, kiddo,” she says, hugging him back and ruffling his hair, “Did you sleep okay?”

He nods, leaning against her for a second, “Did you sleep okay, Mom?” 

His kindness, the way he cared for others, never failed to amaze her. He never failed to make her proud to be his mom, “I slept just fine, baby.” 

“Mama!” Élodie calls out from Aaron’s arms, apparently bored of not being the centre of her mother’s attention. Emily smiles and squeezes Jack before she steps away, her arms open wide to her daughter. 

“Hi sweet girl,” she says, taking her from Aaron and kissing her forehead before she leans in to kiss her husband, smiling when she tastes pancake batter on his lips, “And happy birthday to the birthday boy,” she says, stamping her lips against his again. 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he says, his hand seeking out her hip, “Do you want birthday pancakes before you head to work?” 

She smiles to cover the way her stomach lurches at the thought, and she shakes her head, “I don’t think I’ll have time, honey,” she says, “I’m sorry I have to work on your birthday-”

“Em, you don’t have to apologise,” he says, cutting her off, his smile soft and full of love, “I used to do the job, remember? I get it.” 

She’d taken over as Unit Chief when he retired, her cumulative experience in the BAU and her time at Interpol enough to make her more than qualified. She’d struggled with the idea of it at first, sure Aaron would have a problem with her literally replacing him, but he’d been nothing but supportive. 

“I’ll be home for dinner, okay?” She promises, knowing it was one she could keep because Penelope had assured her there would be no cases until after Aaron’s birthday, a statement she had chosen to not question any further, sure that plausible deniability would help her if needed. 

“Okay,” he says, kissing her again before he steps back, allowing her a moment to say goodbye to Élodie before he takes her back, “Okay Mini Hotch’s,” he says, smiling when Emily rolls her eyes at the nickname the team had assigned the kids, “Let’s eat breakfast,” he turns to Jack and smiles, “And then it’s time to get ready for school, buddy.” 

Jack nods and starts to plate up his breakfast, and Emily smiles at Aaron, “I’ll see you later, at lunchtime?”

“See you later, sweetheart. Love you.” 

She smiles and steps out of the kitchen, “I love you too.” ___

The team were acting strangely. 

She noticed the moment she arrived. They were looking at her and whispering when they thought she wasn’t paying attention, and the moment they knew she was paying attention they were acting like Élodie and Jack when they were caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing. Looking up at the ceiling and pretending she couldn’t see them. 

It comes to a head during the team meeting. Her ever-present nausea, the ache in her boobs and her sudden aversion to everything with milk in it, meaning she couldn’t have her favourite tea, was making her aggravated, so she does the one thing she never does with her team. With her friends. 

She loses her patience. 

“Okay,” she says, cutting Derek off as he throws another weird look at her as he’s discussing a case, and she throws her pen down on the round table, “What’s going on?” 

They all go wide-eyed, their matching expressions something that would make her laugh if they weren’t pissing her off so much. They look at each other and Dave clears his throat, nominating himself as the group’s spokesperson. 

“Why do you think something is going on?” 

She glares at him and narrows her eyes, “You’re all acting like we’re in high school and there’s a rumour about me you’re all discussing,” she says, knowing she’s on to something the moment Penelope avoids eye contact with her, “So will someone please tell me what is going on so we can go back to being adults with important jobs, not teenagers with nothing better to do.” 

The team all look at each other again and JJ sighs, her hands clasped on the table in front of her as she leans forward, “We…we know you’re pregnant.” 

Whatever Emily thought they were going to say, it wasn’t that. Her mouth falls open a few times as she tries to figure out what to say, at a loss for words until she finally chokes out a response, “What?” 

“We know you’re pregnant,” JJ repeats, “Em, I am so sorry-”

“How…how the hell do you all know?” She asks, looking back and forth between them all, “I only found out a couple of hours ago. The pregnancy test is still in my purse.” 

Derek screws up his face, “You peed on something and then put it in your purse?” He asks, his disgust turning into something close to fear when she glares at him, “Not the point, I know.” 

She blows out a slow breath, “How do you all know?” 

The room falls into silence for a moment before Dave pipes up, “Derek told me.” 

“Well JJ told me,” Derek says, immediately trying to take himself out of the line of fire, making JJ scoff and throw her pen at him. 

“Penelope told me,” she says, raising her eyebrow at the other women, “Only minutes after she found out by the way.” 

Emily turns to look at Penelope and raises her eyebrow, “Pen…”

“Reid told me!” She says, blurting it out, surprising everyone else in the room except her and the man in question, all of them now looking at her like she had lost her mind before they turn to look at Spencer, their heads tilted in curiosity. 

“I might live to regret this question,” Emily says, her irritation tampered down by shock, “But how the hell did you know I was pregnant?” 

Spencer, his eyes wide like he was a deer in headlights, swallows thickly, “I don’t know if I want to answer.” 

“Spencer,” she says, her tone a warning that she usually uses on the kids, and he nods clearing his throat. 

“Your period was late.” 

For the second time in a few minutes, she finds herself speechless, “I knew I’d regret asking,” she murmurs to herself, rubbing her temple. 

“How the hell do you know that, boy genius?” Derek asks, “Little creepy.” 

“It’s a pattern,” he exclaims, his hands up to defend himself, “I’m good at recognising them, and she hasn’t had milk in her tea for days, just like when she was having Élodie, and-”

“I think we’ve all heard enough,” Emily says, stopping him from going any further. She sighs and shakes her head, “Look, Aaron doesn’t know yet. And I’m telling him later so for your sake,” she says, addressing them all, “You’d better hope one of you doesn’t tell him.” 

“We’re not going to see him before you tell him, ” Derek assures her and she rolls her eyes. 

“He and Él are coming to get me for lunch because it’s his birthday.” 

They all go wide-eyed again, and this time she sees the humour in it, barely hiding her smile as JJ nods, “We’ll make sure we’re out of the way when he gets here,” she says, and she turns to Spencer, “Do you track all of our menstrual cycles?” 

Dave leans over and pats Spencer on the shoulder, “As someone who’s worked in law enforcement since before you were born, kid - my advice on this is to plead the fifth.”

___

She’s grateful that by the time she’s home for the evening, Aaron is none the wiser. The team kept their promise a little too well and entirely avoided him when he came in to meet her for lunch. If he thought it was strange he didn’t say anything, happy to be having lunch with his wife and his little girl on his birthday. 

As soon as Emily was home they ordered dinner, and after they ate she sat and watched Aaron open his gifts, smiling as Élodie sat in her lap. Clapping her tiny hands as Aaron made a big deal of the hand-made cards from her and Jack. Once he’d opened all of his gifts from Emily and the kids, bar the one still in her purse, they put the kids to bed. They divide and conquer - something she knows will be harder when they add a third kid to their family - and she paces Élodie’s room with the toddler in her arms until she falls asleep. She takes a moment to breathe her in, to acknowledge that the countdown is now on until Élodie is no longer the baby of the family, and she lays her down in her bed. 

“Good night, sweet girl,” she says, kissing her forehead, “Mama loves you.” 

She sneaks out of the room and pauses, smiling when she hears Aaron downstairs. She pops into Jack’s room, kisses him on the forehead and adjusts the covers around him before she heads downstairs, nerves tingling under her skin as she grabs her purse and pulls the small gift bag out of it, the pregnancy test from that morning safely tucked inside of it. 

“Honey,” she calls out, “Where are you?” 

“In the living room,” he calls back and she follows his voice, smiling when she finds him sitting on the couch, her gaze drawn towards the two glasses of champagne on the table, the bubbles distracting her for a moment before Aaron clears his throat, “Is that for me?” 

She looks down at the bag in her hands and she nods, joining him on the couch, her knees knocking against his as she gets as close as she can, “Yeah, it is,” she says as she hands it over, her lips pressed together as she tries to contain her smile, “I wanted to wait until the kids were in bed.” 

He smiles and opens the bag, pushing aside the tissue paper, “I’m glad,” he says dryly, raising his wrist as he raises his eyebrow at her, “I was starting to think that the Rolex was going to be my only gift…” he drifts off when he pulls out the pregnancy test, his words caught in his throat as he looks down at the digital screen. He looks back up at her, his eyes shining, “Em…”

“I took the test this morning,” she says, swallowing thickly, “I had a feeling and I was right.” 

“We’re having another baby?” He asks, and she nods, a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh caught in her throat. 

“Yeah, we’re having another baby,” she says, and he pulls her into a hug, his arms tight around her, “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” he replies, kissing the top of her head and then her lips as he pulls back, “This is the best birthday present ever.” 

She chuckles, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she rests her forehead against his, “Even better than the Rolex?” 

“Better than a dozen Rolexs,” he says, kissing her again before he reaches for the glasses on the coffee table, “Here you go, we should celebrate.” 

She smiles and clinks her glass against his, taking a sip before she thinks about it. She realises what she’s done the moment she drinks it, but frowns when she tastes apple cider, not champagne. She swallows it and frowns at her husband, narrowing her eyes at the obvious attempt to hide a smile, “Wait, this is apple cider.” 

He clears his throat and takes a sip, “Yes. It is.” 

She stares at him for a few seconds, trying to figure out what his smirk means, but then it clicks, and she gasps as she lightly hits his chest, “You knew I was pregnant?” 

He nods, reaching out for her hand when she tries to slap his chest again and lifts it to kiss her knuckles, “Yes. But-”

“How did you know? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“You’ve been exhausted lately, you can barely stand the smell of coffee and this morning you went green over the mention of pancakes,” he says, kissing her knuckles again before he lets their joint hands fall to his lap, “And I didn’t tell you because I knew how important it was to you to tell me.” 

She shakes her head at him lovingly and leans in to kiss him, “You’re a good man, Aaron Hotchner,” she says, kissing him again, “The best actually,” she leans against him and lets herself enjoy the moment, takes it and sits in it before she furrows her brow and looks up at him, “This means I was the last to know that I’m pregnant.” 

He smiles and then it slips into a frown, his brows furrowing together, “Wait, what do you mean you were the last to know?”