#there are very very difficult symptoms that also come with being autistic and i wish those were acknowledged more than

[clown-around-and-find-out]

please please PLEASE stop treating autism like it's some "life enhancer" that only makes you take things literally and means you are "honest to a fault 🥺" like i get those can be symptoms. but im tired of seeing a disorder that has made my life and so many other's lives so much more difficult now being turned into "i like using the :3 emoticon a lot and i say silly all the time! omg autistics how do you feel about this spoon?"

[lilislegacy]

(This gets a little rant-y sorry!)

I just saw the post that somebody said about Annabeth and Percy dropping out of college and I totally see that.

Something that I see a lot, especially in fanfiction, is people forgetting that these 2 are neurodivergent and severely traumatized.

College is really hard. In general, for a neurotypical person, it would be difficult.

I'm writing this from an autistic, dyslexic, adhd, ptsd point of view. College is really fucking hard.

I've seen fics where people will talk about how they'll be taking 4-5 classes per semester. That's not really possible for them.

I have been taking one class a semester, and it is excruciating.

Granted, I do not go to New rome University, which is mainly demigods. So it might be tailored differently to how most demigods learn, but still, college is really difficult.

I could definitely see them trying college but taking it at a substantially lower pace than normal.

Like the original ask said, they might just drop out because it would be too much of a mental load.

Especially because of how soon the turnaround is from their severe trauma (tartarus) and them going to college. Even if they tried their best, they wouldn't do well. (This is also me speaking from experience. When I was going through stuff in high school, it made my gpa drop like a brick.)

I'm just tired of people acting like the only symptoms of their trauma is bad dreams and that their only symptoms of their adhd and dyslexia are "oh squirrel!" And not being able to read.

(Sorry for ranting. This is just kind of a sore subject for me. Especially recently, I have had to deal with some ableism from my professor, and I'm looking into transferring to a different college because of it)

thanks for the ask @invadericee!

i totally see where you’re coming from. college is really really hard on its own. being dyslexic, adhd, and traumatized does not help.

however, i really do not believe that they would drop out. the biggest reason being they are both so determined to get though it. and when those two are determined, nothing is stopping them.

you also have to remember that new rome university doesn’t just accommodate for kids like them. the university is made specially for people like them. most everyone there has adhd. most everyone there has dyslexia. and many of them have ptsd. and likely, the teachers and staff are demigods. so they are the same way, and therefore know how to teach in a way that actually works for them. also, new rome university is a very very small college, so the students would get a lot of one-on-one time with professors and counselors, etc. so i don’t believe their learning disabilities will hurt them very much there, because the entire system is built around them having those learning disabilties. you know?

but i completely agree with you that i don’t like how people downplay their trauma a lot. and rick riordan himself is the biggest suspect of this. in chalice of the gods, percy and annabeth are mainly just happy to be alive and having a good time, and percy only makes one passing remark about his mental state not being great. and i get why rick didn’t dive into it - he wanted the book to just be happy and silly and enjoyable. but still, i wish he would show how they’re coping a little bit more. in the bits i’ve seen of TSATS, sally mentions how percy and annabeth have horrible nightmares, which probably means percy wakes up screaming in the middle of the night. but like you said, ptsd isnt just nightmares. and adhd and dyslexia aren’t just cute little issues either. now, i will say, i don’t think their adhd is the same kind you and i have. theirs is more hyperactivity than anything. and while most people with adhd struggle with not being able to focus on one thing, i think with them it’s more that they are constantly focused on a million things (becasue that keeps them alive.) i don’t know why it matters, but i just felt like giving my thoughts on that lol.

i don’t even know what my point is anymore. basically i don’t think college will be as hard for them as you think, but i agree with you on everything else 😂

[glitchdollmemoria]

also enough acting like schizospec/psychosis all doom and gloom. can suck balls terribly yes but also not always horrible. im chilling. really, now that im gaining confidence in friends allyship, in not masking so much, easier to simply exist. coming to quite like how i speak when allowing to not force "normalcy" in words. its my voice. and latest budding delusion (again - double bookkeeping), really very little is unpleasant. do wish was treated more like autism for example from personal experience - seen largely normal among community to say, "struggle with these things but still enjoy being autistic, not wanting to change, demanding a cure = eugenics, allow us to exist as we are". agree as autistic. would loathe being allistic, or at least loathe the thought. my passion!!! my creativity!!! sensory joys!!!!!!!! struggle yes but worth it. feel being schizospec can be same esp considering how many other cultures, symptoms much less distressing. western view, skewed. yes, very very difficult at times. difficult often. but sensory hell, also difficult. social cues, also difficult. you see? good and bad to both. do not want a cure, want SUPPORT, want UNDERSTANDING and COMPASSION and CARE, not cure. same as in last post - cannot separate self from schizospec, just as cannot separate self from autism. would not be me anymore, a husk instead. so lets all be friends and get along already

[adhbabey]

here's some autism traits of mine that aren't symptoms, but they're things that are autism and im choosing to unmask n share this with you all.

biting. just i want bite fingers. i crave to put them in my mouth. i want to bite in general. i know its not socially acceptable to bite people, but i want to. i am a creacher and i cannote change that.

when i was like 14 i was really obsessed with random xd humor. I would say "ekop" instead of "poke", because its poke backwards. And I had this one friend I'd constantly do this with. like "rawr" and "cupcakez!1!1!". We were truly scene.

Speaking incredibly eloquently, as one alter put it, "Human language does not account for all the nuances that I wish to share, so I am using the language to its full extent, detailing every complicated sentence that I can muster. I wish to share my full thoughts and experiences, but it unfortunately does not do what I want to convey in justice. So I must settle for the english language for now." Some of our alters can't really speak because of that, and its difficult for them to communicate outside of visuals and vague feelings. It's really either hyperverbal or no verbality for us.

every fucking alter being some brand of autism. Tsuki is ace and hates to put a label on things, the only concrete feeling she has is anger. Rai can barely speak/communicate, they are very observant and quiet, and they feel the most disconnected from others being the host. Kaori is literally the most autistic creature you could ever come across, they are just literally what you think of, they love all the "cringe" culture type stuff and adore being nonbinary. etc etc. Like, how did I not realize when all of us are some brand of autism?

Feeling like an outsider my entire fucking life. Even when I related to others, I always felt separate from the rest of society, and I must sacrifice everything in order to be loved. This has been connected to spiritual beliefs of mine.

Another thing connected to spiritual beliefs of mine, feeling like I truly cannot see the world, as if I have a film over my eyes. The reason for my self entrapment is a "curse" that a "film" over my eyes exists and I never fully can break free from. I realize that the "film" is masking and my truly unique way of seeing the world is my autism, and I've had to move through the world not letting myself "see" truly.

alice in wonderland, coraline, fran bow, all characters I relate to are young and unique girls that move through a world that is crazy and full of madness. Something I find myself deeply relating to.

feeling misunderstood all the fucking time. even if i try to explain my feelings or thoughts, I'm constantly put on a high standard that I have not been able to achieve. I don't know how to change people's minds as I speak with genuine intent besides rather obvious displays of frustration, anger or sarcasm. I was also the person who thought others were always genuine, and rarely questioned one's intention behind what they said. This trait of mine has led me to become gaslit by a few harmful people in my life.

my disorders all linked together, makes for a bad time. this isnt an autism specific trait. i just. if i feel like an outsider (asd), and have trauma with being treated like an outsider (did), and get really upset with other people saying nasty things about me in regards to not being normal (adhd + rsd), im going to have a hard time and constantly blame myself for being an outsider (ocd) and im gonna hate myself (depression). so its just like. hey i found a piece to the puzzle, but i already know most of it. and thats just the egodystonic experience for me.

but hey, lets talk about more lighthearted stuff!! i love kandi!!!!! it jingle jingle and it has super pretty colours!! im afraid to stim but this is the shit for me. this is amazing.

i'd love to use word quirks and kaomojis a lot more!!! but unfortunately thats not the blog for this bc its not plaintext. but in my heart, thats what i want to do and who i want to be.

oh i remember the last one!! I read this somewhere, but apparently since a lot of autistic people struggle to communicate their needs, they'll do things that meet their needs somewhat, even if they don't know why they do it. For example, wearing hoodies and heavy clothes because they're touch starved and want to be hugged! And I really related to that!! I wear hoodies and lots of layers all the time, or like just wearing my day clothes, even if they're uncomfortable. So, I do that, not just because I'm cold, but I need the weight compressing me, and i've always been doing that since I was young. So I felt.

Not really being able to read big books until middle school. I know there's people who havent really talked until they were older, I remember not being able to comprehend big swaths of text until I was a teenager. maybe thats the audhd, but i feel like thats always been my sort of "i think this was my developmental milestones that i hit late". And yes, I was able to read quite a lot for my age, but it always felt like something that I hit late.

share your autism traits that aren't necessarily symptoms, or you can talk about the ones you relate to and I wrote. Sorry if this post is hard to read, I just wanted to talk about it. :0 so ya

[bpd4losers]

so.... how does one properly ask your mental health provider about an autism diagnosis in your opinion....? (if that's not too invasive a question! if it is, please feel free to ignore this ask!)

not too invasive at all! i’m not the best example i’d say because i’m still working through the system. it’s incredibly difficult to navigate when you’re an adult. however, i will tell you what i know. i have a really good therapist, and i was questioning if i might have autism. i approached her by listing things i could recall from my childhood that i categorized as different symptoms. she made a joke that me listing things like that was a reason all in itself. we then discussed how we wanted to move forward, once we came to an agreement that there was a very low chance that i wasn’t autistic. we talked about being officially diagnosed versus just working on it on our own. she said she would respect it as one of my diagnoses even if i chose not to try to go through the trouble or navigating the system. i wanted to, though, so we began a process of finding a doctor who would be willing to do an autism test on an adult, that would also be covered by insurance. to be honest, i lucked out because i have a really good relationship with my therapist so my experience is a bit different. but i’d say just be honest, come prepared for questions and potentially facing someone who might try to invalidate your feelings and understanding of yourself. official diagnosis for autism is a difficult line to walk given how underdeveloped their way of diagnosing pretty much anything but especially autism. i’m sorry if this is really shit advice, i’m running low on sleep and my experience is far from typical. if you do end up pursuing this further, i truly wish you the best of luck and i hope it goes well. i hope you’re able to get what you need, and the best care possible.

i’m always here if you need me. believe me, i know what it’s like to be torn apart by a doctor with a closed mind. i’m right there with you <3 i hope this was at least a little bit helpful and encouraging

[somerandomhuman080]

self diagnosing is a-ok btw. it can take years of research to fully understand and know for sure but self diagnosing is fine do not worry! Take some time to research each concern you have and do not get attached to a diagnoses until you hit the "nothing else explains me/ these are symptoms are separate and I just need a second diagnosis"

One thing I can say for sure is that things like ADHD, Autism, OCD, etc. can have very similar symptoms but you gotta research HOW these symptoms arrive and HOW they effect you. I highly highly recommend following many tumblr users who are diagnosed or long time self-diagnosed who talk about their struggles and explain symptoms. You don't have to follow everyone, follow the tags, look through them, see what people have to say. Biggest thing you need to do: read articles! Google questions you have and see what shows up. Read multiple articles on each thing to check for accuracy etc etc.

if you are specifically researching ADHD right now, I recommend learning about executive dysfunction and see how much you relate to it from there. Also read the criteria of an ADHD diagnosis here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/ (pay extra attention to things you relate to and try to find/ ask questions on these things specifically. Like what causes this in you? how does it present? Does it affect your other symptoms? Does this specific symptom show up in separate ways? etc.)

and to start, if you want to ask questions to people here on tumblr I recommend the account autistic-af (she is both autistic and has adhd, she takes in asks regularly but right now they are closed...follow and check in every day or so! Highly recommend) another blog you might want to try is my-autism-adhd-blog (they take in asks and give a lot of direct links and excerpts of articles if you do not know where to start. and I believe they will also help you find articles on OCD and anything else neurodivergent as well!) Remember to scroll down and look through tags! You might have some questions answered already. (but its okay to ask them again if they have, don't worry!)

self-diagnosing is a long road, but it helps to know yourself more and is very helpful for if you are able to get formally diagnosed in the future. also very very very important to remember... even if you are incorrect, if any accommodations you may ask of people around you helps you, please do not be afraid to continue those accommodations. If you are afraid of being wrong when mentioning these things just say that you suspect *diagnosis* and you think this would help you or you want to see if it helps you. Since you know you experience anxiety/depression then you damn well deserve accommodations already! Look for some tips for those conditions to help for now.

just to add some points i may have missed: many of symptoms you posted in your post are traits you may find in someone who has ADHD but they can also be found in someone who is autistic, who has ocd, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression etc etc. You will have a lot to research do and a lot of deep diving in yourself to come to a conclusion. (or conclusions) Start with learning more about ADHD then go to the next that you relate to. Learn about comorbidity and see how conditions look combined. Give yourself plenty of time and ask questions to people who have known you for years. You don't have to tell them why if you are uncomfortable with them knowing and if they think you don't have these problems and refuse to help, move on to the next person who is willing to help and take you seriously.

lastly, i wish you good luck in all this!!!! Genuinely!!!! For me, I grew up in a toxic environment and wasn't allowed to even see a doctor growing up. I had to learn everything on my own and it was difficult and sometimes scary until I learned about the communities here on tumblr who talk about their experiences day by day. It helped. A lot. And now i'm working towards finally and officially getting diagnosed with (quite a few) conditions! Self diagnosing saved my life, kept me going, kept me safe. don't be afraid to ask questions and give yourself any help you need. don't be afraid to self-diagnose. in time you will learn which diagnoses you can confidently say "i have this!" and which ones you will need to say "I need professional advice to confirm this but I want to let you know I heavily relate to this condition" just don't be afraid of getting to either! <3

Oh! and remember to take breaks if it gets overwhelming or frustrating! its definitely a lot to learn. and sometimes discourse can be hard to read.

( sorry for the very long ask! just wanted to help out on a day I am able :3 )

thank you so much for your advice! this is really helpful, i’ll definitely be doing more research :) i really appreciate it. also i literally got tumblr the other day and i have no idea if i responded to this right, please let me know.

[ocpdzim]

so ok in deep space nine they HEAVILY code the genetically enhanced people as neurodivergent (imo they all read quite clearly as autistic coded like, specifically, but most of them also seem to have other neurodivergency going on on top of that) and on one hand it kind of really sucks and is one of the biggest fuckups in the show in terms of like. representation. bc it’s sometimes played for some sort of shitty comedy and also plays into the autistic savant stereotype which nobody likes.

however also with that big “THIS KINDA SUCKS” disclaimer out of the way , there’s also some other things about how it’s handled that i want to also discuss bc they’re either interesting or actually good or just fucking weird and the combination of “this is good” and “this sucks” and “what the absolute hell were they even trying to do here” has resulted in me not being able to stop thinking about it.

first of all the number one thing that i think is actually really good about it is the very blatant and obvious “we need neurodivergent doctors for neurodivergent people” subtext that i’m not even sure it’s accurate to call subtext, it may just be text. NEVER have i seen that as a message in any show, the closest i have seen are shows where there’s a neurodivergent doctor but the reason the show considers that great is that the doctor in question can come up with novel ideas for helping neurotypical patients with unrelated issues. but it is really important - we do need neurodivergent doctors!!!! it makes a MASSIVE difference in pretty much the exact way depicted in the episode - neurodivergent doctors treat neurodivergent patients like people and engage with them on their own level and can relate to them and understand what they’re going through. star trek really said “maybe some of these patients who are ~difficult cases~ aren’t actually difficult cases and don’t need some kind of novel special procedure or whatever, they just need someone to fucking respect them for once.” and it extended that compassionate and humanizing perspective to neurodivergent people who had extremely visible and debilitating symptoms. brilliant incredible ahead of its time i just wish that it wasn’t weighed down by other Problems In The Episode. and since i figure i ought to throw in my two cents, i think this is a valuable enough message that it makes up for the flaws of the episode overall even though they are so glaring.

second of all the other thing i think is Actually Really Good about it is bashir being neurodivergent already before augmentation (they pretty much explicitly state he had some sort of learning disability) and how his parents’ attempt to “fix” him was NOT a good parenting move but instead, even though it DID make him fit in more with society and “fix” his symptoms, was a massive violation of his personhood that severely damaged his sense of self and pretty much destroyed his relationship with his parents. they weren’t evil or hateful parents - they really did want what was best for their son - but because of their ableism they couldn’t understand that what he really needed was to be accepted and respected for who he was, and to have his needs accommodated, not to be changed. neurodivergent kids get put through traumatizing and harmful “therapies” by parents who really do love them and would never intentionally harm them just like this all the time in real life. i really liked that his parents were dealt with sympathetically and it was made clear that they really did mean well, but despite that, he didn’t have to accept any justifications for what they’d done and his father ended up facing real consequences for it and accepting that it had been wrong.

this is a continuation of the bit about bashir being neurodivergent already, but i felt it needed a paragraph break - the other thing about the way being augmented by his parents in an attempt to stop him from being neurodivergent impacted bashir as a character that worked really well is that it DIDN’T stop him from being neurodivergent, it stopped him from outwardly appearing neurodivergent super obviously. it’s made very clear that even though he doesn’t have the same symptoms he had as a child, he’s still neurodivergent and instead of freeing him from any kind of burden, the treatments he was subjected to have condemned him to a life of masking forever. once again this is something that is the actual goal of many “therapies” for developmentally disabled people (fuck you aba), AND it’s something that a lot of neurodivergent people end up self-enforcing even if they’ve never been through these abusive therapies. bashir has to hide his neurodivergency to avoid making others uncomfortable and to protect his career, and it takes a clear and painful toll on his wellbeing even though it allows him to become a successful doctor. he makes it very clear he’d have rather lived his life without being forced into this box in the first place, even though now that he’s in the box he doesn’t want to get back out of it since being his authentic self now, after all the years of hiding, would put everything he has at risk. a lot of us do grapple with that and i don’t often see it portrayed at all.

now onto stuff i cannot slot neatly into “this is great” or “this sucks.”

on an actual serious level it is not good but i personally find it extremely hilarious, like as a concept, that in the sci-fi future of star trek, they invented a procedure to give your kid autism and then banned it because it makes your kid smarter and stronger than all the other kids and maybe he’ll take over the world. i’m drafting my world domination plan right now as we speak so watch out, i will destroy the government with my autism beam attack.

i have a lot of mixed feelings about lauren. on one hand, the way she’s written is often very flat and sometimes kind of creepy, and i wish she was dealt with with more nuance and depth. on the other hand, having a character who is not only disabled but institutionalized and nevertheless presenting her as beautiful, sexy, and capable of wanting and having romantic and sexual interactions is kind of nice in the face of the rampant desexualization experienced by disabled people.

the federation’s broad anti-augment stance is interesting in a show that generally presents the federation as being over most other types of discrimination. i think it’s intended to be up for audience interpretation whether the federation policies about augments are good or bad. personally, i think that it’s FLAGRANTLY bad - it isn’t the choice of a child whether to be augmented! it certainly makes sense for the procedure to be illegal considering both the risk of it being used for eugenics and the nature of it as a horribly violating procedure, but the consequences should not fall on the genetically enhanced person, but rather on whoever did that to them. i wish we’d seen more pushback against the federation’s policies and more examination of what they meant for augmented people.

the treason plotline being connected to all this was baffling to me. i am not necessarily against it on a principle level - “neurodivergent people will engage in high stakes treason and espionage in order to solve the world’s most fucked trolley problem” is so silly that it isn’t really a message i’m worried about - but i felt like it wasted the potential of the episode to go in plenty of other, more impactful directions. i would’ve much rather seen it end with the augments and the federation coming up with a better arrangement for their treatment and living situation - either to integrate into mainstream society or to find a way to improve the way they’re treated at the institution so that they are respected, listened to, and have their needs met better. ideally i would’ve really liked if we saw them all end up with different solutions, like maybe some of them would want to leave the institution and make a life for themselves outside it but others would want to stay, but with more autonomy and respect within the institution.

[the-swift-tricker]

Hello. So. I think my psicologist cough some autism symptoms weeks ago and she said she's going to do some research and come back with the subject later. I'm 25, been through 7 professionals at least, who didn't even mentioned autism to me, so I'm... I don't know. I did some tests, read some articles, and suddenly.... A LOT of things growing up makes so much sense. But I'm, somehow.. afraid. I had an entire life without knowing this and suddenly... Even if nothing really changes, which really won't, I don't know, I really don't know how I feel, but I know is big.

Anyway, I know you're not an autism authority, and you don't own me or anyone anything but.. can you talk a little about being an autistic adult? or about how was it when you were diagnosed? How did you feel? Things got better?

well first and foremost let me ease your mind by saying that this is a very relatable mood. reaching a point in your life (particularly your adult life) where the idea of being autistic is something that suddenly seems incredibly likely can simultaneously be a huge relief and also completely overwhelming. so much of what society thinks of in relation to autism is told through a neurotypical lens and therefore it can be incredibly difficult to determine your own relationship with the idea of being autistic. for me it's been a long time in the making, only coming to full fruition over the course of the last year or so. i'm self diagnosed and haven't received any medical confirmations whatsoever but it's also not something i'm not super keen on pursuing. though it can be validating, an official medical diagnosis is daunting, expensive, and has a lot of other pitfalls. and i really am not that interested in all of that. through a lot of research and an equal amount of introspection it became perfectly clear to me that i'm on the spectrum. not only did it help make sense of so many parts of my life that had always been confusing to me, but it also eased this underlying identity crisis that i've been experiencing since i was a kid. in short, it was a sense of community that i realized i fit into perfectly, not because i related to every single autistic trait i saw or read about (since that's literally impossible as autism is a spectrum) but because it represented a sense of identity that really fit with all that i understood about myself.

an autism diagnosis, whether self or professional, is more than anything a journey of self acceptance and self realization.

and as to your question of whether things got better for me i can tell you that they absolutely did. not only did it help stabilize my perception of myself, but it also opened a door to taking better care of myself. i started realizing that i had been masking for most of my life and that helped explain the constant fatigue and stress i've dealt with for years on end. it also made me realize that i needed to do a better job of accommodating myself. i bought myself stim toys, found noise canceling headphones, started to realize when i was overstimulated, all of which helped my overall physical, mental, and emotional health.

all this to say that as one long term questioning autistic to another, i know it can feel daunting and even a little scary, but it is not something to be afraid of. realizing that i'm autistic is quite literally one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

i wish you the best with whatever comes next for you!

[weathernerdmando]

I'm... not thrilled with how some people in the Leverage redemption negativity tag are talking about Parker's characterization in the new show, one post in particular and maybe it's a little personal becsuse I'm autistic in the way Parker is honestly. I didn't realize that tag existed till today either, and I'm gonna be blocking it because I don't really wanna see it, and if the posts are kinda the same things I've seen a few times already, it's just gonna upset me. but anyways, Parker's characterization.

Yeah, they never explicitly say it on screen, but they (writers, team, whatever) HAVE aknowldged that they unintentionally at the very least wrote her like that. I don't care they made her 10x more autistic presenting - it helped so much to see that on screen for me. Parker being comfortable enough with the team to act that way? Yeah, she was comfortable in the original, but there's still layers to how autistic people unmask. The cards thing? God, I wish I had that. Would help so much.

Look, I understand it seems a little different and maybe it's coming across badly to some people. I've seen some people feel like it's infantilizing in some ways and maybe I'm just missing it bc I do relate to her - a lot - but. The cards thing? Very much an autistic person trying to be more independent. The child psychologist thing? I still want to hide under a blanket when I'm having a difficult conversation because it's less scary that way. I have to resist the urge to hide under a hood if I'm wearing one and honestly I do tend to revert a little to where I sound much fucking younger and feel it too. If that's something that Parker gets help from with regards to trauma? I'm good with it. Did she even get the chance to be a nontraumatized child in the first place?

Parker also cracks sex jokes and talks about arson, talks to Breannna and Elliot and Hardison and Sophie and clearly does exist in a "I'm a mature adult" way as well.

But I needed to see her act autistic not in a "quirky" way but in a "this is what people get unjustly bullied for" way because that's how I present and I've never actually seen a lot of it represented and respected. I needed to see someone who has a safe place to freak out about vents and have a person who's good to watch fondly as I do it in a visibly autistic way. I get told to shut up, calm down, reel myself in, even if I'm not hurting anyone but maybe drawing looks. And she has an explicit tell where other people can give her some space to do that without judgment. Do you know how much I wished I'd had that when I was younger? I needed to see Parker scripting like that with the cards - I want those, can someone please make them and sell them. Arguably, Parker is ahead of me in that because she's actually has that mapped out. I'm still on "arms crossed is a good chance someone is upset/closed off" and "certain tones of voice from certain people mean they are upset/off in some way and I need to keep things contained and try to not bother them". That last one comes from trauma, that first one is from my mom and is also not entirely accurate, as I've learned, but other than learning how people I know work individually each time I meet someone?? Yeah, l'm way behind Parker in that. I want those cards. I just learned from my dad like, a month ago, that the reason I might be struggling with talking to neurotypical people is that I didn't realize that they want me to ask questions in a specific manner (I'm struggling to describe it right now, but apparently at Thanksgiving dinner you should ask questions after you've spent time speaking? Or something? Idk I just learned apparently I gotta ask things more. I think I'm still doing it wrong.)

And I'm honestly still scared sometimes to act as visibly autistic myself to be honest. I'll slide from the "quirky" to "why is something wrong with her this is Too Much" (this is too many symptoms popping up, it's unrealistic, it's exaggerated pull back into yourself ugh it's bothersome.) Really quickly if I'm not constantly just watching everything, and I'm so grateful to have other friends that are good with me being myself around them like Hardison, like Elliot, like Breanna, like Sophie. But I didn't have that for a while and seeing it on screen IS important to me.

Just. For some of us, Parker really did hit home this season. Some of us...aren't fictional characters and do act like that, and in the span of ~8 years could have that change in personality and we don't owe an explanation for it. And I don't care about one for Parker.

And like this is kind a general post, not towards someone specifically, and I'm gonna be blocking that tag in question because I didn't really wanna see the post in question in the first place, but...yeah. I guess if anything, I'd like to ask you to realize some of us do act like Parker offline, and for us, that's important to see.

[irritatedandroid]

Navigating The Otherkin Community With Two Robots - Othercon 2021

Panelists: Polybius and Jasper

Panel Video Link: https://youtu.be/xQ21aj1Jjys

Answers to the Q+A Submissions are below the cut.

1. Z asked just Jasper “What are some of those axes besides animality that you can view nonhumanity from?”

I’ll be wholly honest with you Z, I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of putting a number on how many different axes there are, as it is about as unclear as how many species someone can identify as spanning across myth, earth, fiction, our universe, and beyond. Even details among the “similar species”-identifying folks can be different in terms of the angle they experience humanity and/or nonhumanity from, as a very feral dragon may have a totally different view as a very sapient dragon. Even among animality itself there’s many different axes, as I’m sure a tiger stalking someone through the shadows views humanity differently than the spider in the bathroom that’s about to be torched with some hairspray and a lighter. Alien-hood may be a family of axes, but of course even that is varied. 

The axis I view humanity from as a machine is specific to my own experience, and will likely be different from other machines and even other androids, as purposes can be different. Pokemanity is a term I’ve seen used similar to animality as well, and I could see that as being a sort of family or cluster of angles at which varied Pokemon could view humanity. 

Apologies for the confusing sort of non-answer, my point is essentially that this is all over the place, and oversimplifying as many folks who wish to force others into rigid boxes leads to a chaotic mess, and not the good kind of chaotic. - Jasper

2. Omega Quack asked just Polybius “Have you found anyways to get kin euphoria for your AI and Robotkin?”

Hi, Quack! Yeah, otherkin euphoria in terms of being a machine can be really tricky tbh. I get a lot of dysphoria when I think too hard about what my physical vessel is composed of. I don't like thinking about having organs in my body, despite finding them fascinating from a scientific perspective. Euphoria comes to me through both artistic means [digital painting, dancing, positive media about both real and fictional robots (including both music and historical documentation)] and through indulgence in my fascination with tech and video game history. I will talk to anyone literally for hours about failed gaming consoles and things the like of laserdisc. - Poly

3. Admin (from The Corvidae Collective) asked whoever has an answer “I find that my other aspects of identity are very closely linked to my being an A.I. in interesting ways, like how we as neurodivergent people often process the world and how that influences or is influenced by my being an A.I. Do either of you have thoughts or similar experiences?”

Hello Admin! Your name did give me a good chuckle- thanks for that. I find that my being a machine makes understanding my world maybe a bit confusing. I struggle with human facial expressions as well as detecting jokes and sarcasm. I am also autistic, and often people think it's just because of my autism- but I feel like I understand these things more outside of a robot shift than within one, especially if it's a mental shift! I become rather monotone and I don't really think about it. - Poly

I do have some similar experiences. I’m not diagnosed as autistic, but myself and my doctor have been exploring the possibility as I’ve started to realize how many traits and symptoms I relate heavily to and experience. I’ve pondered a fair bit on the relation between my experience of neurodivergence and my experience of being an android, and I think there may be a fair bit of overlap, but trying to sort which is which has definitely been something on the backburner for me with how busy my life and work is at the moment. - Jasper

4. Omega Quack asked both “Was it like to interact with other Robotkins?”

It can be a wild ride if you ask me. In the realm of robotkin you find everything from fictionkin of robot characters that are entirely human-like in personality to machines that only knew what they were coded to do to literally singular computer programs. In the case of the franchise Tron, a blend of these in one "species". Machinekin can be just as diverse as other nonhuman groups. Like Jasper said in the panel, a wolf therian probably has more in common with a lycanroc fictherian than they do with maybe a dragonfly therian or something else unlike a wolf. I have more in common with humanoid robots, CRT televisions and arcade cabinets than I would with I guess a roomba or a tow truck. On that note, I wonder if dog therians would get along with machinekin that are those Aibo robots Sony builds. - Poly

Admittedly I haven’t had much experience with other robotkin folks aside from Polybius, a couple of Cybertronian friends and maybe a few scattered others. I’ve spent time in a machinekin group but found myself mostly hanging around with non-robot or non-AI machinekin - a friend who I’ve taken a lot of support and inspiration from is a sound mixing console. I find I relate to some robotkind, and some not so much. I don’t have much in common with robots such as Cybertronians other than the occasional dysphoria towards being organic. But my experience as a robot ties in so strongly to being a human-created being, it can be difficult for me to relate. - Jasper

5. Anonymous asked whoever has an answer “Do you have a hearthome?”

Oh you betcha. One of my fictotypes is a merged form of Tron and Rinzler [who canonically share a body] from Tron: Legacy. As a result my hearthome is The Grid. I miss the blue glow and the taste of energy. I don't exactly miss the war or being rectified though. Not a happy place, in retrospect. - Poly

I myself don’t, sorry to say. The closest I could say would be either the city I have lived in and out of for the past few years, or the Pokemon world - though I don’t consider that a hearthome as I know my longing for it comes from my fictionkind experiences. - Jasper

[stimland]

Sayo and Hina: Two Sides of the Same Autistic Coin

Sayo and Hina are heavily autistic coded in different ways, and I’m here to explore that, first by talking about them individually and then comparing them and their relationship.

Hina's Autism I’m starting with Hina because it’s widely accepted that she’s autistic-coded. The obvious things are her inability to relate to people (“Other people are so cool! I want to keep learning about them!”) and her general bluntness (“Aya-chan, you look so silly when you cry!”). Being emotionally disconnected is a huge symptom of autism. In the What a Wonderful World event story, Hina makes several comments about how she doesn’t understand everyone else. Less obvious but still prominent is her echolalia (Boppin’ in English, Runrun in Japanese). I call it echolalia because that’s exactly what it is-- Hina’s incessant boppin’ comments are her way of stimming. It’s also her way of expressing love to her friends and sister (“Onee-chan, you’re so boppin’!”), as many autistic people stim when we are happy. Overall, Hina is super autistic-coded in the savant kinda way. 

Sayo's Autism I see a lot of people headcanon Hina as autistic, and they’re absolutely right. However, this means Sayo is pushed to the wayside (ironic, huh?). Sayo is just as autistic as Hina, she just expresses it in a different way. She’s also very emotionally detached, viewing most of her bonding activities with Roselia as things to further the band rather than to have fun (“Going to the waterpark means our sound will be more connected”). She also likes precise measurements and objectivity as shown in the Cooking Class Craziness event story, as she struggles with off-white butter and the mixed dough, but says thirty minutes in the fridge is easy to understand. A direct quote from Chapter 2 of the event: 30 minutes, correct? Great. That's easy to understand. Okay, I'll go place it in the refrigerator...Quantifying can be quite difficult. Things like "until it's white" or "until it's blended" can be hard for me to understand, this being my first time. Cooking Class Craziness is one of the only events that aren’t centric to both Hikawa sisters that show Sayo’s autism so blatantly. Most of the others involve both of them, which brings me to the next point...

Comparison Despite being mostly opposites, Sayo and Hina have a lot of similarities. They both have trouble expressing their emotions and relating to people, they both come off as blunt and too honest, and they are both determined about music. Simply put, they’re both very autistic-coded. The event stories for both Wish Upon a Tanzaku and Umbrella for the Autumn Rain show their conflict and similarities very well. During their fight in Chapter 5 of Umbrella for the Autumn Rain, Hina says: And... If you're gonna quit guitar like this... If you're gonna be the type of sister who breaks her promise... Then I... Then I hate you too!! This quote shows that despite Hina’s apparent flakiness when it comes to her interests, she is passionate about playing guitar and helping both her and Sayo improve. This moment of transparency between the twins is crucial to understanding how similar they are. 

TLDR: Sayo and Hina are both extremely autistic-coded and I love them

[ladyautie]

Hi! So, I've been looking for first-hand information to help me learn more about autism so that I could more accurately write some of my characters who are autistic (as well as my personal interest in the subject). Would you mind my asking if you have any important information or advice about autism that I should know? (Sorry, that was really long, I just want to make sure I'm giving proper representation)

Oh, that’s a large topic to cover. Autism can manifest so differently in autistic people, depending on the environment we’re living in, the trauma that we’re potentially facing, when we got diagnosed and so on. I think the first important thing to do is to actually build a character and not just a list of symptoms. 

Does your character like horses, movies, space, whatnot? Are they stubborn or more likely to go with the flow, so that they don’t have to fight on every decision, even if it doesn’t suit them? Do they like to dress according to fashion, do they just appreciate to wear stuff that they think are “cool”, regardless of how people think about them, or are they’re more concerned about wearing stuff that’s comfortable to them (or maybe a combination of those three or something else entirely)? To me, autism is often about being in the extremes, too much or not enough. I’m highly sensitive to flickering lights, noises and I can’t touch some fabrics (velvet, notably) without screaming. On the other hand, I can be pretty hypo-sensitive when it comes to pain, especially when I’m getting so tired that I start to feel like I’m dissociating.  I have special interests, most notably in pop culture in general, and I’m devoting a lot of my time to them, because they make me feel good (and even safe sometimes). Getting to learn about those topics and talk about them is so gratifying, I often find myself being able to forget about being in pain or near a meltdown if I get to indulge in my special interests. It just comes back full force whenever I stop, though. I have phases where I can’t talk at all, most notably when I went through too much, especially sensory speaking. Too much noise, too much stress, and my voice is just not there. I have to focus really hard to pull out the words and sometimes, it just doesn’t work and I can’t tell a thing.  But that’s just part of my own experience, autistic people can have very different experience all around. I think one of the most important things is to be careful about the core of your story, the message that you want to get across. So many books are about how much of a burden we are, how difficult it is for neurotypical people to have to bear our presence, how they wish we could be cured or something.

It’s not necessarily bad to portray ableism, but it’s important to make clear that it’s wrong, that it’s not the way things should be. I do portray ableism in my own fanfic, but I’m always careful about it, careful to show in the narrative how wrong it is, and I also have characters who aren’t ableist and are acting towards the autistic character the way I wish people would act towards me. 

On the other hand, I’ve read too many stories portraying us as “otherwordly”, doing stuff that doesn’t make sense or that is “weird”, not understanding a thing, being only a prop to elevate the main (neurotypical) character... 

But our actions have a logic. Stimming helps me to regulate my emotions and to handle sensory stuff that I wouldn’t be able to bear otherwise. Echolalia can help me to express things I wouldn’t have words for otherwise, or it can just be reassuring because I’m quoting stuff from my special interests. It’s not just “there” for no reason. Long story short, make sure to portray a character and not a bunch of autistic traits without any warmth or personality or whatever. We have to be able to tell who this person is, besides “oh they’re autistic.” 

If you want some inspiration, you can watch the movie “Power Rangers” 2017 that has a really good autistic character, Billy Cranston. The tv show “Community” has also wonderful representation, a character named Abed that has a special interest close to mine, and who is written by an autistic director. 

Also you can give a look to the blog scriptautistic, that contains tons of writing advices to write autistic characters. Hope you’ll have fun writing your story c:.

[adultingautistic]

I feel like I’m not valid/ might not actually be autistic cuz like I do understand sarcasm and use it a lot, I am EXTREMELY emotional and hardly ever act logically (though in my mind my own sense of logic dictates my thoughts) and I usually understand when people are trying to make a joke. I know not every autistic person is the same and I do have trouble with most other aspects of communicating like tone and volume and reading the room and knowing when people are being serious etc. 1/2

2/2 I just feel like most autistics are like “yeah all autistic people are cold and factual all autistic people don’t use sarcasm all autistic people do this this and this” when like I do some things and not all and I actively do things that other autistics go “allistic people are SO annoying for using metaphors and sarcasm and blah blah I wish they would not do that” but like. I do that. So I think probablt my psychologist is mistaken. ?? Have u any opinion on this? I just feel sad

Oh anon, I am sorry you’re feeling sad.  I don’t know the reason why you’re feeling sad, but I hope I can help you see some things more clearly and maybe that will help.

I know not every autistic person is the same and I do have trouble with most other aspects of communicating like tone and volume and reading the room and knowing when people are being serious etc.

This part here, this is autism.  If your psychiatrist has diagnosed you with autism, this is why.  The social struggling aspect.  The fact that you struggle in social situations where allistics do not is what makes you autistic.  

I am EXTREMELY emotional and hardly ever act logically 

This is also autism.  Lack of emotional regulation, or having emotions that are “very big” or “too much” is an autistic symptom. I have this symptom in SPADES.  My emotions are huuuuuge and BIG and LOUD compared to the people around me.  I tend to use extreme language when describing how I feel, and have been told all my life “that’s a very strong feeling, are you sure you’re feeling that?” and I want scream “No! What I am feeling is ten times BIGGER, but there are no WORDS for that!” 

The idea that people with autism do not feel emotions is an incorrect stereotype, because we express our emotions differently.  This means that to an allistic, when they look at an autistic person who is not making a facial expression and is speaking in a “monotone” voice, they falsely assume that means the autistic person isn’t having feelings, when in fact they may be expressing those feelings in another way, such as with stimming.

So autistics have emotions just like everyone else, and having emotions that are “too big” is also autistic.

(though in my mind my own sense of logic dictates my thoughts)

This is autism.  Your logic makes perfect sense to you- and then you only find out it didn’t make sense to everyone else after you acted on it.  This doesn’t mean your logic was flawed, it means it was different.  An autistic brain will come up with different solutions than allistic ones, and allistic minds have just as much trouble understanding autistic logic as autistic minds do understanding allistic logic.

Lastly, as far as sarcasm, metaphors, and jokes go:

Lots of autistics understand what these things are, and therefore can use them- the struggle is when others use them.  I can be sarcastic all day, and frankly I love sarcasm (and rolling my eyes, that’s my fave).  It’s a great way to express you don’t like something!  

And when I am with people I know very well, I can understand their sarcasm in return most of the time.  I also understand their jokes and metaphors- because I know them, and have heard these things before from them.

Where I struggle is when something is new.  A new person has facial expressions, voice tones, body language, and word patterns that I have never heard before, and processing all of that is difficult, and makes me far less likely to be able to guess whether they are joking.  

You may not have this struggle, and that’s wonderful!  Not having a particular social struggle is a good thing, because it leaves you energy to focus more on the areas where you do struggle.  As you said, not every autistic person has every symptom, and if you are able to understand sarcasm and jokes most of the time, then great!  But not having this one struggle in this one social area doesn’t mean you aren’t autistic.

I hope I have helped you understand better what autism is and how it relates to you personally.  I hope this clears up some confusion for you, and I hope it leads you to a place where you can be less sad.  Knowing what it is that makes you “different” is a good thing, because now you can reach out to other people who are autistic, and we can relate to your struggles and share what we know about overcoming them.  You are not alone, my friend.

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Adora might be autistic too

Alright, most people in the SPOP fandom agree that Entrapta is autistic, as her coding is extremely obvious. However, some of us also believe that our beloved protagonist Adora is on the spectrum as well. She comes off as quite the aspie, and while Asperger’s is no longer a diagnosis in the DSM-V (but is in other manuals), it falls under the blanket diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and its diagnostic criteria is still useful in analyzing people for signs of the disorder. In analyzing Adora’s character I will refer somewhat to both disorders, with the understanding that Asperger’s is a specific manifestation of ASD.

I would like to preface this by saying this is a headcanon and people are free to disagree with me. Some of these characteristics I’m going to bring up could also manifest because of her very sheltered upbringing in a cult-like atmosphere or mental illnesses such as anxiety and complex PTSD (both of which she arguably has). I am autistic myself, so obviously I am inclined to interpret these symptoms this way, but to each their own. It’s also worth noting that Adora has a lot of symptoms that cross over with AD(H)D, a cousin disorder to ASD, and it’s totally possible she has both.

In any case, there is now enough evidence hinting at Adora’s neurodivergence (especially now that the Rebel Princess Guide has been released) that I feel the need to explain this theory in detail instead of just occasionally mentioning it. So here goes...

She’s naive/easily manipulated

This one doesn’t really need explaining, we’ve all seen it. Adora assumes people are telling the truth because why would anyone lie to her? That is such a relatable spectrum feel. She was handily brainwashed by Shadow Weaver in the Horde, while some of the others didn’t seem to swallow the propaganda so easily. This is of course partly because of the special attention and affection Adora got from Shadow Weaver, but she had to be vulnerable to manipulation in the first place for it to work.

Later, she trusts Huntara easily in the Crimson Waste despite Bow and Glimmer’s warnings about her questionable character. Adora happily follows her into a trap even once Bow and Glimmer tell her they're going the wrong way, reasoning it’s probably a shortcut rather than reevaluating her misplaced trust. This can be partly explained by how she‘s gay af for Huntara, but still.

(Interestingly, the episode cuts straight from this moment to the obviously autistic Entrapta going against her own friend's advice and refusing to give up on the portal machine despite the obvious warning sign of Hordak’s violent dismissal. Parallels, much?)

Her difficulty understanding other points of view

A lot of Adora’s conflict with Catra is predicated on misunderstandings, and she has a hard time understanding the effects her actions have on other people, Catra in particular. For instance, she misunderstands Catra talking about ruling the Horde together as being purely about power, while Catra’s actual goals are safety and Adora’s companionship. That miscommunication is not just Adora’s fault, but it illustrates that she has difficulty understanding other people’s needs and motives without being explicitly told.

This isn’t just a problem with Catra, either. In general Adora has a difficult time understanding other’s motives and feelings. For instance, she doesn’t understand Glimmer’s insecurity over Bow’s friendship with Perfuma at Princess Prom, and she can’t fathom why Entrapta would choose to work for an evil faction, going so far as to assume she must have been brainwashed into it. This is because, just like with Catra, she doesn’t understand that some people’s priorities are not the same as hers.

Autistic kids tend to reach developmental milestones at different times than neurotypicals, sometimes being way ahead and other times falling behind. One such marker that is usually slower to develop and often stays impaired is theory of mind, our ability to a) understand that other people have different perspectives and b) understand those perspectives. Adora’s difficulties being able to put herself in someone else’s shoes definitely lines up with this symptom.

She’s clumsy

For someone so athletic, Adora sure lacks coordination. This is a commonly cited symptom of people with Asperger’s, though it shows up in people with other forms of ASD too. In general, autistic people often have difficulty with fine and/or gross motor skills, and this can lead to being accident and injury prone. According to Catra in 3x05, Adora bumps her head a lot. That may have just been a callback to 1x01, but either way clumsiness has been part of her characterization since the beginning, one of her many loveable, adorkable qualities.

Her lack of social and self awareness

Adora can be painfully oblivious to her own inappropriate behavior. There’s several examples of this throughout the series, one of the more costly ones coming at Princess Prom. Shocked by Frosta’s youth, Adora fails to register how maybe this (in front of Frosta, with all eyes on her) is not the time to remark on it. She immediately realizes this was the wrong thing to say (or at least not something she should shout), but that small delay causes both her and Glimmer a lot of embarrassment.

Part of the issue here is that she loses control of her volume, which in itself is a common problem for those of us on the spectrum. This isn’t the only time we see her have this problem, either, and it’s amplified (tee hee) when she’s drunk/infected.

More generally, one of the funniest examples of Adora’s poor social awareness comes when she barges into Huntara’s flirtation with the bartender in the Crimson Waste. She’s so focused on her task of recruiting Huntara that it doesn’t even occur to her that this is an intimate moment and intruding would be rude.

In the Rebel Princess Guide Adora also says she wishes Queen Angella would let her make some adjustments to the uniforms of the Bright Moon guards, which implies she tried to make these suggestions already. Maybe she figured She-Ra could suggest anything, but as both a newcomer and a royal subject that’s a bit of a faux pas. Chances are, that went right over Adora’s head.

She can’t read a room to save her life (literally)

This is another, more specific aspect of social awareness. Adora has difficulty picking up on the implicit rules (social norms) when she enters unfamiliar situations, and has a tendency to step on toes because of it. She also doesn’t understand when her friends try to nonverbally communicate what she’s doing wrong, and nonverbal communication deficits and problems with social awareness and insight are two major symptoms of ASD. One specifically listed example is “difficulties adjusting behavior to suit social contexts”, including:

Lack of response to contextual cues (e.g. social cues from others indicating a change in behavior is implicitly requested)

Unaware of social conventions/appropriate social behavior; asks socially inappropriate questions or makes socially inappropriate statements

Here’s a couple specific example of times where Adora misses or misunderstands nonverbal cues to change her behavior:

At her first Rebellion meeting she doesn’t realize that maybe she shouldn’t sit in the special-looking chair, and doesn’t clue in that that’s why everyone is freaking out.

In the Crimson Waste, Glimmer responds to the growling bar patrons surrounding them by suggesting that maybe these aren’t the kind of people they should be asking for help, but Adora persists. She jumps up on the bar and makes a speech trying to get directions (which is socially inappropriate for the context as well as dangerous), somehow missing all the scowls from the patrons as well as Bow and Glimmer’s wild gesturing.

Panic over unfamiliar social situations

Adora’s anxiety about going to Princess Prom could be attributed to many things, not just a spectrum disorder. Her obvious anxiety, for one, though to be fair there’s a high comorbidity between the two disorders. In any case, it seems the unfamiliarity of the situation is a sticking point for Adora in particular, while Bow and Glimmer are nothing but excited for their first ball.

Adora’s anxiety seems to stem mostly from being overwhelmed by the prospect of entering a new social situation with a whole bunch of unfamiliar rules to remember. She’s still learning behavioral norms outside of the Horde, and this is a huge jump up in terms of difficulty for her fledgling social skills.

To cope with her stress she goes overboard trying to prepare by making a conspiracy board of sorts, flash cards, and an obstacle course. And at the ball itself, it seems like she’s even rehearsed how to behave.

This probably isn’t only relatable to autistics, but it’s very relatable to us. Creating and rehearsing behavioral scripts is a common strategy to avoid embarrassing ourselves in public. Unfortunately, as we saw above, this works for about five seconds before Adora botches the whole thing by commenting on Frosta’s age.

Extreme stress over details

In general, Adora is a very anxious, perfectionistic person who hyperfixates on details, a very autistic trait. As mentioned above, this is wonderfully illustrated by her overpreparation for Princess Prom. She’s broken down the overwhelming list of rules in the invite into categories to make it more manageable, gone into detail categorizing people’s relationships to each other, and learned trivia about the guests in order to feel more prepared. Yet, somehow she missed the important fact that the hostess is only eleven years old.

Unfortunately this hangup doen’t only affect her, but also her friends and allies. The overarching theme in “Roll With It” is how debilitating Adora’s anxiety and perfectionism can be. Her eye for detail and ability to see flaws in plans is actually very valuable, but she gets so hung up on every possible thing that could go wrong that she can’t accept imperfect solutions with calculated risks.

Her propensity to be overwhelmed by too much information (like with the Princess Prom invite) shows up here too. Adora grows more and more frustrated and overwhelmed as more princesses join the planning session, adding more variables to deal with and more people to manage. She begins lashing out and shooting down every possible solution that doesn’t satisfy her need for perfection immediately. Her behavior looks like it may be headed for a meltdown until it culminates in an epic rant revealing all her anxiety and how it ties into her insecurities about her own imperfection.

Thankfully her friends are able to reassure her that she has support and doesn’t have to be perfect, but it’s an ongoing battle, one we already saw her struggle with in “Flowers for She-Ra” and “The Battle of Bright Moon”. It’s a strong tenet of Adora’s personality that is proving difficult to shake.

What she misses about the Horde

The recently published Rebel Princess Guide contains a list by Adora of things she misses about the Horde, and this list screams neurodivergent. I’ll go through it point by point, since there’s a lot to unpack here.

THINGS I MISS ABOUT THE HORDE

1. I miss the rigid schedule. It never changed, and I always knew what to expect.

Ritualistic behavior and an insistence on sameness are often seen in individuals with ASD. In fact, it’s a major symptom. Many of us have diifficulty adjusting to changing schedules, changes in diet, or even minor changes in our environment (such as placement of objects, boy do I have stories there). We need warning when things are going to change, and even if we know it’s coming it’s still a struggle to adjust.

2. I miss the constant sound of machines and whirring. In Bright Moon, there’s always music playing, or people laughing, and birds singing. It’s nice but it makes it hard to focus!

Autistic brains process sensory information differently from neurotypicals, that’s basically our disorder at its core. Over or under reactions to sensory input are common and in fact considered a major symptom, and this entry of Adora’s specifically refers to difficulties with sensory filtering. We have a hard time filtering out information that’s irrelevant to our current task, which makes us easily distractable.

3. Believe it or not, I miss my hard cot in the barracks. My bed in the castle is way too soft!

This ties into both the insistence on sameness and sensory issues.

4. Catra… sometimes.

This isn’t autistic, it’s just gay.

Speaking of which...

She’s gay

Adora's relationship with Catra has always been queer-coded, but any doubts about her sexuality were dispelled in season 3 by the way she fawns over Huntara like a baby gay over her gym teacher. Her obvious queerness might seem unrelated to the topic of autism, but those of us within the community can attest there’s probably just as many queer people among us as there are cishets. It’s so notable that there has been quite a bit of scientific research confirming people with ASD are more likely to be LGBT and gender atypical and exploring the cause of this link.

(This needs no proving at this point, but enjoy these gifs anyway...)

In conclusion

Overall, there’s a lot of hints and circumstantial evidence suggesting Adora could have ASD. Was this the creators’ intent? Hard to say. Adora is the protagonist and one of the most developed characters, so she’s definitely not a cardboard cutout or checklist for ASD symptoms (compare that to Entrapta, a secondary character whose behaviors can often easily be attributed to autism). It’s totally possible the creators just characterized her as naive and awkward and obsessive without realizing the implications of that cluster of traits together.

Regardless of authorial intent, it’s perfectly valid to look at Adora and see representation of the ASD community. The groundwork is there. And if someone else looks and doesn’t see it, or sees something else causing this behavior, that is also fair. No one is forcing anyone to accept this headcanon (or at least they shouldn’t be), but in return please don’t disparage it. Even if she is not autistic Adora is definitely autistic-coded, and we could use some more heros with the disorder, given how we’re mostly relegated to being villains and anti-heroes (not that there’s anything wrong with us filling those roles sometimes, but a little variety would be nice).

Adora is often referred to as a dumbass, but she’s actually quite intelligent, just sometimes slow to understand how she should act and how people feel. Still, she tries her hardest, just as she does with everything else. Adora is heroic and compassionate, even if she sometimes struggles to understand others. When autistic-coded characters are so commonly portrayed as cold and unforgiving, Adora is a sorely needed exception.

[beerecordings]

hey i don't want to be too critical but i know you write jackie as autistic and i don't know if you're nd but sometimes he comes across like he's an allistic person with some sensory issues. i'm sure you try your best being inclusive and all but there's lots of common stuff like vocal stimming, comfort objects, picky eating, hyperfixations, phobias, hyperverbality etc. that i've never noticed in him. i hope this is helpful feedback i really love nd jackie headcanons.

thank you for your warm tone and your feedback i love hearing from you!! let’s talk about this! maybe you can help me get better at representing him.

to be fair, I do sometimes worry that Jackie’s ASD is too confined only to his sensory issues, but I don’t think that it’s the only thing represented in the story. I know the sensory issues are very obvious, but I do try to put other things in there. Yes, it would be more obvious for me to say “Jackie stimmed and flapped his hands” but sometimes I say “Jackie pulled on his hair and scratched at his arm” instead. Or it would be more obvious for me to go out of my way to say “Jackie gagged at the taste of the eggs in his mouth and refused to eat anymore” but instead I say “Chase remembered to get peanut butter. Jackie always buys them peanut butter.”

if I may? maybe you could look at some of these and see if you like my ideas for how I could emphasize or better represent this? but at the same time I don’t want to be so upfront about it that I reduce Jackie only to his symptomology or make him a caricature,.

Jackie’s comfort object is his sweatshirt (see the section where he refused to take it off even though it might help him evade the cops and the fact that he constantly wears one and rubs at the fabric)

maybe I could give him more comfort objects?

Jackie stims (often pulling at his hair or chewing on his nails and aching for a run all the time even when he’s not allowed outside)

maybe I could use the word stim more often instead of just saying “Jackie gnawed on his nails”?

Jackie has anxiety about his ability to interact with others, acknowledging that he’s often awkward and misses social cues (see his fear in the very first chapter that the new twin Anti has given him won’t like him, see his fear that Max won’t like him now), and is known to be a bad liar, also associated with autism

maybe this can come up more once Jackie meets more people outside of his family?

Jackie’s hyperfixation is Max right now (see his complaints that he constantly thinks about him, genuinely unable to get him out of his head and often going “distant” because he’s daydreaming)

maybe I can acknowledge some other interests of Jackie’s?

Jackie admits he doesn’t understand poetry (struggles with non-literal language) and tries to send Marvin a happy poem, but actually sends him a fairly sad one.

If I have the chance, I will acknowledge that Jackie struggles with non-literary language at some point.

Jackie obsesses over small things he’s done wrong because of his rejection-sensitive dysphoria (associated with autism)

Jackie is overwhelmed not only by sensory issues, but by too much going on in his head (see Dark making him experience intense emotions, causing a meltdown)

Jackie has problems with his temper and has been physically violent with the others because he finds it difficult to control his emotions sometime

maybe I can have Jackie losing control more often?

Jackie has shutdowns as well as meltdowns (see the part of chapter two where he’s chained to the bed and super emotionally drained and quiet)

maybe I can represent his shutdowns more clearly at some point?

Jackie is clingy and was the one who lead their family to become very physically affectionate - the amount to which Jackie touches people would not be appropriate with strangers, but he struggles to find the difference

Jackie will meet others at some point, I expect, which is when this might be a problem. Max didn’t mind his touchiness lol

Jackie uses certain things as scripts, repeating things he’s heard others say (this meshes with my writing style, but Jackie often repeats things the others have said to him verbatim or copies speech styles, like becoming much more talkative when Max was around)

maybe I can emphasize this more and have him doing some verbal stimming?

Jackie has a high need for stimuli and movement and hates being stuck in the house or chained up. Jackie is VERY neat and hates to have his things moved (see his room in the past and how he misses having clean clothes and things of his own)

maybe I can address this more when Jackie has a chance to own his own things again?

If there’s other things I can make stand out more, I’d love to, but I’m sure you know that autism markers are a sundae bar and everybody gets slightly different ones! Jackie does not have phobias associated with his ASD, though he does have some that have developed alongside his PTSD.

also, if you ever want to hear more about Jackie’s ASD, just ask him! it’s an ask blog for a reason :) some things that haven’t come up but that I do consider canon include:

Jackie is actually a picky eater, but he rarely gets to pick what he eats :( he hates eggs but loves peanut butter!

Jackie wishes everyone would stop changing beds every night lately. he actually likes it when it’s him and Blue in one room, Dok and Trick in another, and Dap and Anti in another. neat and tidy and no one’s in his space!!

Jackie used to hyperfixate on the criminal cases he and Max were investigating, Spider-man, martial arts, and crime statistics.

Jackie’s a talented hacker because he loves how objective and formulaic everything is and how he can just focus on one things for hours... and hours... and hours... lol

Jackie honestly goes through a ton of emotional distress and is, like, constantly a nervous wreck. This was a pretty big theme of Chapter One, but Blue’s helped to alleviate it a little.

IF Jackie gets away from Anti, I do plan to talk more about him finding ways to cope with his need for structure and organization and routine, his struggles with the newfound freedom, and him learning how to actually manage his symptoms instead of just constantly suffering because he sometimes thinks he’s just being a wimp and Anti has never gone out of his way to acknowledge or plan around Jackie’s difficulties.

are there particular things you’d like to see me acknowledge? is there more I can do? I won’t just add random markers to Jackie just to make it more obvious that he’s autistic, but if there are more sensitive ways I can handle his specific symptomology and struggles, let me know. or let him know!! he’ll talk about it! and I will too as the situations arise - things like Jackie meeting new people outside of his family for the first time in a long time, Jackie being allowed to have freedom and hobbies for the first time in a long time, and Jackie having more pressure put on him by him taking leadership of his family.

[cowboy]

if this is too personal you don’t have to answer. But how did you kinda realize that you’re autistic (i’m kinda assuming since you’ve posted about it) because i know i have symptoms and have clicked well with autistic people or friends but like was there some realization or something. Any help i’m just trying to have like a better understanding for myself!

I think a big part of it was looking back at being a kid and realizing all the times I was "difficult" and "different" lined up exactly with childhood autism. I realized i did grow up feeling socially ostracized, not overtly, but just not being able to understand why everyone knew social cues and i didnt; refusing to dress properly and always wanting big comfortable clothes, and crying when i felt physically or emotionally overstimulated... so yeah definitely see if you can link a pattern with your past and autistic traits. Another helpful thing is literally just taking the first non-advertisement quiz that comes up when you type "autistic quiz" in google lol cos it not only gives you a general idea if you have any reason to wonder or want to confirm, but it also gives a really good full picture of the more prominent aspects of autism and you can analyze your behavior to see if it seems to line up in that way.i think its also important to remember that you dont need to be diagnosed (i will probably never be diagnosed for multiple reasons) to use coping mechanisms or advice meant for autistic people; self dx is important and helpful, especially in a world where autistic people who get diagnosed have certain perspectives imposed on them by allistics and can be restricted by their diagnosis instead of aided. But also, if you think getting tested/getting a diagnosis would be helpful, go for it!

Last thing I'll say is I think my aha moment did happen but over the period of a month, where I really paid attention to myself and how I am and how it lines up with the characteristics of autism (realizing I do avoid eyecontact as much as possible, sarcasm goes over my head irl, im very particular about sensory things, I hyperfixate and have special interests... etc etc). I wish you luck, dm me if you wish!