#there are some things i don't want to do and i am sick of people assuming that really i *must* want to

[icarusredwings]

Why do you write nothing but angst and torture omfg stop fetishizing his pain

😐😑😐

*gestures to literally all of the fluff I write*

*gestures to sick fics*

*gestures to Wade HEALING mentally*

*gestures to Logan helping him feel better physically so he's NOT in pain*

*gestures to the fact that you saw angst that I wrote and immediately came onto MY blog where I put MY stories that you clearly haven't read or else you would see that my ratio is pretty 1:1*

*gestures to the LITERAL FLUFFY LITTLESPACE WADE I JUST WROTE*

Like are you fucking blind??

How the hell am I fetishizing his pain when I have multiple things about helping him?

I deleted your first ask that accused me of "making people cry for my own sick fantasies" because what are you even talking about.

I don't think when people tell me im making them cry it is 100% always physical tears more like my writing touched them on an emotional level, so they're saying this so I know that.

Is there some stories in which they probably did cry irl? Yeah because I cried while writing them too probably. None, and I mean not ONE of my fanfics have a bad ending, I never leave the endings angsty. Its physically impossible for me.

So, is this the attention your mommy didn't give you? Did you get what you wanted? Because your acting like a little whiney bitch right now that has no clue what theyre talking about <3

[thunder-wolf64]

Ugh okay I'm about to get very not silly.

Content warning for: Sexual Assult, Body image issues, self harm, probably some depression.

Hmm. I want to talk about this incase I can give strength to anyone else. I know my problems are not as bad as others, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and it's not valid.

Ive mentioned my fear of small children, I've mentioned really not liking a family friend (to a point that being forced to stay in a cabin with them made me feel so bad I dug my nails into my skin and scarred my arm and hand)

This all partly relates to one incident many years ago. I dont remember how old I was? Must have been earlier middle school?

The family friends I'm referring to have a son. He's a lot younger than me. He's neurodivergent in some way, he doesn't have the best idea of social anything.

I was staying at the family friends' cabin, my family and theirs. There was a guest cabin. I had just taken a shower to clean off the lake water. I was standing in the guest cabin looking at myself in the mirror by the beds, brushing my hair. I had major body image issues with good ol' puberty. I hated how I looked and i felt shameful when my shirt clung to my chest extra tight. I knew I would dry off more, and it would be less form fitting. I thought i could just stay in the guest cabin until then.

Then all the little kids, the boy and my two sisters, burst in, chasing each other around as kids do. I was still brushing my hair.

Something immature boys find funny is the word "boobs" he laughed at me and kept repeating the word. I adjusted my shirt as best I could I wanted to tell him off, but I was scared I would get in trouble if I made him upset.

I went back to looking in the mirror and brushing my hair. He ran past, giving my boob a poke as he sprinted out the door, my sisters in tow. That was it. That is what the warning was for. A touch. Over in a second.

I was panicked, I didn't know what to do. I sat on the bed for awhile, crying and thinking of what to do. It felt like forever. And as embarrassing as it is to say... at that time in my mind I felt as if it was my fault, as if I had a sign pointing to me saying "touch me". And with that in mind, I calmed myself down, told myself i wouldn't say anything, and walked back to the main cabin.

And when I walked in, it was tense. The boy was getting a talking to from his mother, and mine walked over to me.

She asked me if i was okay.

I said I was fine, confused. Thinking its not like he shoved me, punched me, hurt my physically. My mind did not corelate the emotional anguish rushing though my head as I felt even more shame that people knew. that they had told on themselves somehow.

I was not okay, i am still not okay. And it really sucks. I can't blame everything on one incident. But oh man can I corelate a lot of my problems with that incident.

Tight clothes made me feel like scum. Ive only ever worn sports bras that leave me with terrible chest pain. I still cant stand a tight fitting shirt, a v-neck. I can't stand my feminine traits. Because that's what got me into the mess in the first place.

Something so small can mess you up so much. And I'm sick of not acknowledging it. Everyone has forgotten or said nothing. And I feel like I'm going crazy.

So if you made it this far, your struggles are valid. Your feelings are valid. No matter what happend, everyone takes things differently.

And i don't know if I'll can call this sexual assault, but it feels like it was, and that's what should matter.

Everyone stay safe

[renthony]

Considering the fact that there's still ongoing waves of covid, bird flu is an active concern, and I'm disabled, no, I don't have in-person social life. And since people refuse to mask up, get vaccinated, or offer virtual participation in things anymore, my attempts to find wider social groups keep getting hamstrung. It sucks. A lot.

I've thought about joining the local French conversation group, but they don't have any covid safety protocols in place. I've thought about going to the weekly free art classes at the comic school, but they aren't covid-safe either, so I just watch the recordings when they upload them on YouTube later. I've thought about going to multiple groups at the local queer community center, but when I asked if they had covid safety protocols, their excuse was that "Ron DeSantis banned mask mandates, so we don't do that anymore," instead of doing literally anything to fight DeSantis. I keep thinking about going back to my theatre & stage combat troupe at the ren faire, but I got sick after the show every single year pre-covid and I cannot risk that "faire crud" being covid proper. I just can't.

I am an active member of a union, but that doesn't count for this poll because I exclusively participate online by video calling into meetings. I play D&D with my parents and siblings every week, but that doesn't count because they're family. I talk to multiple friends and family members every day and regularly check in with folks, but it doesn't count because it's on my phone. I hang out with my housemates and we do all kinds of things together, but that doesn't count because they're the people I live with.

I am being as social as I safely can. It feels really shitty that so many people think it isn't good enough. It feels really shitty to constantly feel like my choices are "be a weird angry shut-in" or "elevate my covid exposure risk." It feels like there's no winning.

If you genuinely believe that it's important for people to have in-person social outlets (and I do agree!), here's what you need to be doing:

Follow the People's CDC's Safer In-Person Gatherings guide (which is due to be updated for 2025 soon).

Get your updated covid booster. People aren't getting their updated vaccines, and it's a problem. If it is available to you, you need to GO. GET. YOUR. BOOSTER. And get your flu shot while you're at it.

Advocate for improved air filtration in the space you want people to meet in. Push for air purifiers if the HVAC system can't be fully upgraded. Help make Corsi-Rosenthal boxes.

At gatherings, provide FREE high-quality N95 masks for people who may not be able to access them. Get some for yourself if you can, and actually wear the fucking things. Over your nose and mouth. Properly.

Stop participating in social dogpiling when people make honest blunders or commit a faux pas. A lot of people have been isolated for years by this point. Social skills atrophy if they aren't used. Is that "weird" person in the group actually hurting anyone, or are they just awkward, intimidated, and out of practice when it comes to social groups?

Stop being a shithead to people who still can't participate. Stop entertaining the belief that people who don't have a robust external social life are "defective" or "untrustworthy." Stop treating people who don't have a robust social life as if they're dangerous, stupid, or shady. Sometimes people just don't have a robust social life. There are many, many reasons. It's not something you should make harsh judgments about.

Evaluate your space for general accessibility. Can disabled people enter and make use of the space? Is it mobility aid friendly? Sensory friendly? Are there things that can help make it easier for disabled people to find, access, and participate in the group? Have you asked any disabled people about how you can make improvements?

Get your fucking covid booster. It's on here twice because data suggests you fuckers aren't doing it. Go get your fucking vaccine.

I know I'm setting myself up for another barrage of, "Ren, it's just some stupid tumblr post, it isn't that serious" comments, but...well, it is that serious to me. I want to participate in social groups again. I want to go places and do things again. I want to go out. But I, and a lot of other people like me, just don't have the option.

You can help give us that option by giving a shit about covid safety and disability justice in your community.

Thanks, Anon!

-submit your poll!-

[loulougoingsolo]

"Just yourself be, if weird is you."

I don't often get annoyed by Rhett or Link, and it is probably a strong word to use even now, but...today's Ear biscuits episode kinda made me growl at Rhett a little.

I'm not going to talk about the entire episode, but the guys were answering listener questions, and the last one was about midlife crises, if they have them and how.

Now, as someone who is less than a year younger than Link, I've probably tackled a crisis of my own in the recent times. (You could say my entire adult life has been a crisis, but I won't.) But I loved Link's explanation of his midlife crisis, which was basically finding the limits of how weird he can be without making Christy scratch her head too much. Like, Link basically said he is still exploring what he is and what he wants to be (and I'm not implying he was talking about his sexual identity - I think he meant he is exploring his identity in a broader context of being human). Rhett took this as an opportunity to remind Link that when someone chooses to be "weird", they need to understand that it might impact their relationships. And at that point, I growled.

I'm a weirdo. I spent way too many years of my life trying not to be weird. The funny (not really) thing was, trying to act normal only made me sick, made me behave in a very unnatural, stiff way around other people, and I was miserable. I dare to say, nowadays, after, thanks to a lot of soul-searching, therapy and embracing my true self, I come across much more likable than before. I'm not tense, I don't need to put on a mask, and I am more comfortable with myself, which just makes me more fun to be with. Syre, there are people who think I'm too weird, don't act my age, or make strange stylistic choices. The people I love accept me as I am, and I may have infected them with dashes of self-acceptance, too. So, grrr at you, Rhett.

Seriously though, I love that Link is less tense these days. I know some people are annoyed by him, but I love how he has blossomed from an antsy guy who stuck to wearing t-shirts and jeans to an actual fashion icon. He's less afraid of showing his emotions these days (good and bad), and he's just overall more at ease. I'd hate for his loved ones to try to tame him too much, and I hated the way Rhett managed to make his advice sound like a threat that if Link gets too weird, he'll lose some of his relationships.

Maybe I heard more than was said. Maybe this rubbed me the wrong way, because I see myself in Link more than I do in Rhett, and I recognize the things Link said in myself. I hope to hear other people's thoughts on this episode, and this answer about midlife crisis in particular.

Also, for anyone planning to go hiking with a cat: I love the idea, and if I see you with your cats on the trails I take, I want to be your friend. I have been known to lightly stalk a lady who was in the library with her cat on her shoulders, just so I could coo at the furbaby.

[scribefindegil]

When you encounter a person who does not do something that you consider normative, you need to understand that they could be either stating a barrier or expressing a boundary. A barrier is "I would like to partake of the normative activity, but I can't due to other factors." A boundary is "I have made a decision not to participate in the normative activity."

Many people do not believe that boundaries actually exist! This is why it's so common to give a clear "No" on an issue and get inundated with people saying "But have you tried-" They can't conceptualize that anyone might actually want to avoid X thing, so they assume that you totally want to do X and you would love X so much if only they could figure out a way around whatever pesky obstacle is getting in your way. But humanity contains multitudes, and for any given experience you consider vital for happiness I promise there are people who are Just Not Interested.

If someone is stating a boundary, do NOT talk about how sad their life must be, and do NOT try to push them! Just accept that their life experience is very different from your own, and isn't that a beautiful thing?

Barriers are different. Barriers suck. With boundaries, the only problem is other people being dicks. With barriers, the problem is the barrier itself . . . and probably, additionally, people being dicks. There's really not a way to win in the people being dicks department when you don't do something that other people have decided is Necessary For Humaning.

If someone is talking about a barrier they face, still don't talk about how sad their life must be, although it's fine to commiserate with a friend if they're complaining. It's hard! Some barriers are pretty insurmountable; the person might not ever get to do X even though they want to. And a lot of people don't believe that this kind of barrier exists either; we're very much taught that you can do anything if you try hard enough, when that is simply not true. If someone tells you that they can't do something, listen to them and respect that.

The only reason for not doing X that people really acknowledge as real are the surmountable barriers. And these are real, but even in these cases you should always assume that the person knows themself best and not give advice unless they've specifically asked for it. But if they have asked, it's chill to try to brainstorm solutions with them.

As someone who has both things going on, it really sucks that people tend to assume that everything is a) a barrier issue and b) that they personally have the solution to it. Don't do this.

The only way you can tell if something is a boundary or a barrier is to listen to people and believe them.

Example:

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "No thanks . . . I haven't really found anything that I like yet," (barrier, potentially surmountable) it is probably cool to ask them if they're open to trying something new, and if they say yes ask about their tastes to try to find a drink they would enjoy! They might like it or they might not.

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I can't, it interacts with my meds," (barrier, insurmountable) you can say, "Aw, that sucks!" and offer them something nonalcoholic.

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I don't drink," (BOUNDARY) you should give them a mocktail and shut the fuck up.

[atangledfate]

Belle was only slightly wrong, he really wanted to blitz over there and find this GUN leader and give him a beating. But Surge was right, and belle to, and especially miles. He couldn't let his emotions get the better of him no matter how justified he felt in wanting to hurt them. His mother would be disappointed with him, she'd probably lecture him. You have divine blood sonic, you have to be better sonic, you can't just hurt people sonic--- damn it why not? People deserved it! what did it matter if his dad was a god? fuck that man and the cloud he rides around on!

Belle was Heavy sure but that was sort of unavoidable, and he'd drug knuckles around he was pretty big guy to! his divine heritage gave him lots of advantages and this was just one of them. He just smiled at her as she righted herself and stayed close in case she needed to steady herself.

" Heh--- i guess so, I get pretty sea sick actually. It's why i hate boats, and water... and boats on water... and water mazes... and sewers.. ya know everything water related... "

He also sank like a rock, probably related to his fathers blood, as most gods had a weakness of some kind. Even Demi Gods like he and blaze.

" Yea i figured if i kept to a low gear you'd be better off, besides it wasn't far enough to need cruising speed. Ah Self Improvement--- I don't think that's what they mean... but hey in your case! it totally works! heh! let's get inside and see what's up! I doubt Surge will stay put to long... i know i couldn't ..."

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Altiss checked his chart for Whisper making a few notes and set it back down, she would recover just fine. Though the fur might take time to regrow in a few spots. Still it could have been alot worse, and he didn't feel a need to lecture either of them. They were soldiers this was the sort of thing they had to do, it was there job. Now if they'd just relax and heal up they'd be good.

" Hmm? I wish there was a miracle cure, but no i am afraid this will take time. Though i'm hoping by days end you can at least move and eat on your won. Just take it slow, the last thing you want to do is trip and fall and break something... "

The snake walked back over to Tangle taking her hand and turning it face up in his palms.

" Try moving your fingers... the anti-venom i gave you should be counteracting the poison. By now it should be taking effect, though it could take several hours before you have full mobility back... I'm a Doctor though, not a miracle worker. This is the best i can do... you are lucky, things could have been worse. "

He set her hand down and crossed his arms giving her a serious look of a war time doctor.

" You know all Octopi are venomous... including mobian Octopi... at there most lethal there toxins are 1000 x's more toxic then cyanide. Even if his is half that... well you can see how that would be bad. At any rate i'll keep your family out, as per your request--- though what do you want me to tell them? "

"You say that, though I still felt like if I hadn't stood in your way you'd have just run off to do the same as Surge. Stand there and look all scary." The only difference is Sonic's intentions tended to be more pure, though the Belle knew him decently well at this point. The tinkerer just didn't want to risk it and then the two speedsters starting to go at it in a fist fight or something.

Belle certainly wasn't expecting to be picked up by Sonic, and was sure he'd be in for a surprised as he was a bit heavier than she looked. The tinkerer didn't get a chance to protest the sudden action as the hedgehog suddenly dashed off. It clearly wasn't as fast as he could go, though still pretty fast for her. A moment later she was set down outside the command center.

"Everything has motor skills, they're important part even for robots. You offset that anything will feel sick, it just some have it worse than others." Belle was sure Sonic didn't deal with that issue too often as moving as such high speeds meant it would be harder to make him feel offset and sick. "This wasn't too bad since I've done a few upgrades to myself. If you had ran full speed it'd be a different story."

===========================================================

"Are you sure there's nothing you can do to speed it up doc? If GUN is knocking then I wanna be able to knock back if I have too." Tangle never had any interaction with GUN herself, though her father always talked about them. Maybe got his brutal parenting style from them too, so that was reason enough not to like them. Though her main reason was for what they've done to Whisper. The lemur would never forgive them for that.

"And before I forget, can you not let my family see me, or just not tell them if you haven't. Trust me, the last thing I need is family drama. I doubt you'd be very happy if an argument broke out between me and them." Not to mention Tangle would be worried Whisper might try to fight them if things got too out of hand. The lemur just couldn't move, though the wolf was covered in some pretty bad burns.

[icewindandboringhorror]

It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.

Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.

[skwivr]

-

[laurellynnleake]

Alt text courtesy of Sharyn Blum on twitter: [On a black background is a grid of pale aqua mini-canvasses surrounding a simple portrait of a white girl with brown hair with the eyes and mouth obscured by blurry bars. The mini-canvasses each feature all caps handwritten text in black paint, and read as follows:

You have to try harder. Are you sure you weren't just protecting your emotions? Your symptoms sound a bit dramatic. Everyone's heart rate goes up when they stand up. Are you sure it isn't just anxiety. So was she vaccinated before she was in a wheelchair? Everyone has pain. Focus less on it. She's just pretending. We're not buying this. Have you tried mindfulness? You are feeling so bad because of the covid vaccine. You should be going for daily 20 minute walks. We don't know how to help you so we are going to discharge you. You must be better. I see you with your friends on social media. You have to be more positive. You're an f-ing disgrace. Obviously a sock puppet. There is no reason why you should have a chest pain when you try and stand up. You would feel better if you didn't spend all day in bed. Be more positive. You need to be more positive. It's causing you to be ill. What sports team are you on, sweetie? I'll refer you to psychology. You just need to get up and walk. You should try exercising more. You're just being lazy. Have you tried yoga? Oh, you're wearing a mask. I don't think they do very much. I had covid in January 2020 and was fine after. You are too young to be having all these problems. You are looking really well. I don't know how reliable that doctor is. (Said about leading expert working with WHO.) Be positive. It will make you feel better. You know, one can imagine not being able to walk, and then one actually can't. I know someone who had that, and they are fine now, so it can't be that bad. Cancel all specialty appts. This is all caused by her anxiety, and you are making her worse. Well you shouldn't be having those symptoms. This year has really sucked for you. Well, we are assuming. (After a clinical diagnosis from expert.) Kids don't get long covid. Just wait until you are older, and then you will understand real pain. So how exactly did covid put you in a wheelchair? You are making yourself sick with all this medication. The quicker you get back to normal, the quicker you will get better. Give it time. What might he have to gain from being like this? It could be a lot worse. You look healthy. Man up. So-called long covid. You need to do more to build up your strength. Covid made me very lazy, too. You could just be a bit tired. All teens are. I can't understand why you're not better. You aren't exercising enough. You need to get out of the house and go for walks every day. Long covid doesn't affect young people and never for this long. You need to prove you are in pain. It's just hormones. Sure, you can't taste anything. Just eat it anyway. Your blood test results are normal. You will be fine. You'll feel better after a walk. Are you sure they aren't pretending for attention? It's okay. I am tired, too. It must be subconscious. Does she only do the things she wants now, is that it? He's faking it. Is there anyone with "long covid" who didn't take the covid injection? It is all in your head. But you did it yesterday, so you can do it today. I'd love to skip school all the time like you do. You are young and healthy. You'll be fine. You're getting some help with other specialists, so I don't think I need to help you anymore. You have to get up and walk, otherwise we will transfer you to another hospital where you will stay until you do walk. Long covid only lasts a year, and people only get it from serious infections. Sometimes kids project their feelings into symptoms. Lots of people have it worse. She must be stealing food and hiding it. (Re weight gain likely caused by propanolol that dr prescribed.)]

"Hopefully you can zoom in to my daughter's piece 'Rona Lisa' from her recent exhibition #IAmStillHere with @LongCovidKids. These are all things she and her peers have had said to them by doctors, family, friends, classmates..." -baldypidge on twitter

Just some of the worst of the quotes:

"Just wait until you are older and then you will understand real pain"

"Are you sure you aren't just projecting your emotions?"

"Soooo, how exactly did covid put you in a wheelchair?"

"You would feel better if you didn't spend all day in bed"

"She's just pretending, we're not buying this"

"You need to prove you are in pain"

[auphelia]

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[bastiodon8]

i drew (and headcanoned some of) people's courtneys. too out of it to tag the specific ppl these courtlets come from so if you see your courtlet say hi i guess? wanted to post this since i love this piece so much and i love seeing how people interpret concepts.

and a bonus featuring my own courtlet. thank you.

[soonhoonsol]

you guys ever get tired of friends who only talk about themselves? how do you respectfully tell them off?

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Personal shit in the tags

[keeps-ache]

okay i'm out of evil mode. peace love and a little bit of still-tired on planet earth lol 🧃

[ruthlesslistener]

listen I am about as pro-abortion as anyone can be, but aborting a baby just because they have Down's Syndrome should be fucking illegal. If you're someone who actively wants and is trying for a child, then you should be mentally, financially, and emotionally willing to provide for that child for the rest of your life if something goes wrong- because that is what being a good parent takes, and many many things can go wrong. Down's Syndrome is not at all close to the worst thing that can happen to a baby, and people with it can grow up to be happy, healthy, content adults- they just need a little bit of extra help and a different approach to raising them. If you just want a 'normal' child so that you can boot them out of your house when they turn 18 and have them around to take care of you when you're older, then you don't actually want children, you want an investment. A doll, not a family member. Not a person.

[icewindandboringhorror]

........creachure