#there are so many hills that are better to die on but if you insist!

[trainingdummyrabbit]

im not sure what you expected here buddy.

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Thoughts on Jason Todd’s choice of weaponry?

:D an ask! Yay!

Oooh, lets see, I'll start with the crowbars because I appear to be like one of three people on the entire planet who actually likes them.

They're a tacky as fuck riff on the fact that Jason's death is central to his character. They overemphasize the manner in which he died, muddy the waters about what part of his death is important to him, and strangely cheapens the manner in which he died through the parody feel of it.

No one seems to really disagree with my analysis here, but I happen to enjoy that about them and think it's very on brand for Jason. What can I say? They're fun!

Best Quality - His Wiggles

This ultra-sharp curved blade used to be his signature character design feature, the way the white streak in his hair is now, and I'm really not sure why it didn't stick!

Best weapon he's ever had, bring it back please!!!!!

The All-Blades

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

I have mixed feelings about the All-Blades. Like much of Lobdell's work: phenomenal idea, poor execution. Giving the guy who is most known for being morally grey a set of powers that is exclusively based on moral absolutes sucks shit, I gotta be honest, and the trick he pulled on the blood blade was cool but ultimately does nothing to solve those problems.

HOWEVER

I want to love them so fucking badly. A set of glowy soul blades is a dope sicknasty off the chain concept and I wish the well wasn't poisoned with the moral implications and the restrictions to use them only on the "Untitled", a set of enemies that only exist for Jason so far as I can tell. If someone seriously took Jason down a magic based path that removed the DnD alignment chart bullshit, I would be so game to see them come back! Hell I wouldn't even insist on a better cooler design for them!

...though uh, yeah those are the least interesting magic sword designs I've ever seen tbh

Normal Ass Swords

They're alright I guess. Like, there's nothing in it really, but it's not bad?

Guns - Real Bullets

Excellent, evocative yet simple, straightforwards and to the point. It makes hella sense thematically to boot, love this for him, please give him back his pistols and miniguns and shit

Guns - Rubber Bullets

Hate. HATE. hate ick disgusting bad NO.

I just fucking hate rubber bullets, like, as a concept. I refuse to accept "non-lethal" bullets as a valid use of gun, either in real life or in fiction. Guns are for putting many holes in things very fast!!!! If you're gonna use a gun, fucking well own up to that!!! Do not play this silly ass game of pretending that you can change out the material and do the same things as with lead bullets but with the video game status effect of "non-lethal" applied. YOU ARE GIVING PEOPLE SMALL CIRCULAR BRUISES. This is still harmful, yes, ooph ouchie, but it is not even slightly a good use of a gun, you are wasting holster space, and carry weight, and the physical materials used to make it all!!

JUST USE A FUCKING STICK! YOU DON'T RUN OUT OF STICK AMMO!

My belief in his capacity to take out enemies is shattered the instant those fuckers are on panel. Maybe this ain't entirely rational, or realistic to how fights go with rubber bullets IRL, but I hate them so much on principle that I will ignore any counterargument you might have that they'd work. I will die on this hill. Rubber bullets BAD. Please stop making him use this!!

Bombs

Love it, give him more bombs forever

ka-BOOM!!!!

His Brain

This is actually his best weapon - sorry wiggly knife, you're being shunted down to number 2 on a last minute technicality! I think Jason is at his best when he's outsmarting people and making long term fucked up schemes to ruin people's lives.

He's so good at it! It's so fun to watch him do it!

Genuinely a shame that this facet of him was mostly lost after Flashpoint, though to give credit where it is due, in Rebirth Jason did ruin the Penguin's life in an impressively elaborate way, which I did really enjoy. I want to see him be a tactical deliberate menace to one person in specific again idk, that's part of why I do kinda agree that he works better as an antagonist than a protagonist - which it should be noted does not mean I think he works better as a villain necessarily, his ethics aren't what matter here - he's just had his best moments as the schemer, and it's hard to have a protagonist schemer even when you make them ethically the good guy.

I hope you enjoyed my nattering on about Jason's weapons :D thank ye again for ask!

[hughiecampbelle]

Nausea (Billy Butcher Oneshot)

Character/s: Butcher

Word Count: 1,349

A/N: This is a re-upload bc the first time I posted it I got self-conscious and deleted it lol. It's just not my best writing, but I feel like I have to get it out. Just me writing about my issues again! I still have no idea what's going on, but all the same diagnoses come back from the first time (uc/crohn's/celiac/gastroparesis) and it's so infuriating. My doctors don't know what's wrong and my family, who I love, just think it's nerves. I don't think my very graphic symptoms are nerves 😅 I have so many remedies by my bed, it looks crazy. I haven't slept well in a few days bc of the pain, but I'm also so afraid of not being believed again, it's a vicious loop. Okay I swear I'm done complaining! Thank you for putting up with me!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜

He knows when it’s happening. There is no great show or performance. There is no crying or whimpering. No one else would even notice, but he knows the signs. Albeit too late, but he does. You’re quieter, withdrawn, hand over mouth, hoping this will stop the nausea. Deep, even breaths: breathing through it. When that is not enough, when that stops working, you slip quietly out of the room and into the bathroom. He tries not to notice how long you’re gone. Mere minutes. It feels so much longer. Someone snatches his attention from you and suddenly, you’re back. You reappear as if you were never gone. You offer a smile, a joke or two, a sense of normalcy, but beneath you’re stomach is churning, clenching, radiating pain through your middle. You only let him tell a few people, who you’re sure told everyone else. Still, none react besides him. He doesn’t say anything, to do so would draw attention. That’s the last thing you want. Instead, he moves towards you, casually, standing beside you. Close. You can feel his jacket on your arm. Worn and scratchy. Familiar. He looks at you and you offer him a small, insignificant nod. That’s as far as he’ll get to asking if you’re okay. That’s as far as you’ll let him when you’re working. 

Its been happening on and off for years. Off, for a long time. You thought it was over. Gone. Dead. It’s come back, though, an uninvited guest. This sudden pain, this distress, this mystery no one is curious enough to solve. When they looked, they found nothing. Said you were fine. You were embarrassed, hurt, questioning if it was all in your head. Eventually, you moved on. Things got better. You believed them. And now it’s back. A fullness, nausea, pain, weight loss. You can’t be in the apartment while he’s cooking. The smell repulses you. The taste, too. You can’t eat, afraid you’ll be sick. Again. He urges you, please, something more than your morning coffee, but you cannot handle it. Everything you try you end up spitting out: everything is gluey, everything is profoundly unappetizing. Hiding in the bathroom away from the scent or leaving altogether, it’s put a rift between you. Meals that were safe turned poisonous. Entire food groups cut off unwillingly. It’s been days. Your stomach growls, but that is a trick. You try to ignore it, hide it, knowing what he will insist. He watches you. You can feel it. You don’t say anything. It’s easier this way, not to fight, not to argue. This is a hill you will not die on. He does what he can, pouring your coffee, grateful you at least have that. So far, it doesn’t cause problems and it keeps you full. That’s all you can ask for. 

He wants you to get looked at, checked out. You refuse. You were so sick, so scared, and they told you nothing was wrong. You were constantly doubting if this was even real, then and now. If they didn’t find anything, if they didn’t have the answers, you’re not sure what you’ll do. You can’t be doubted again. You can’t be looked at and deemed dramatic. You knew the pain was real. Why did you have to prove it? Why did you have to show them when they refused to believe you? So, you keep it to yourself, far from friends and family. They congratulated the weight you lost. Said you looked good. Remind them you were petrified to eat. You were smaller and that’s what mattered. It’s worse at night. Lying beside him, you push from him, untangling his arms from around you. A trash bin by your head, waiting for it to pass. If things are bad, really bad, you’ll lock yourself in, on the floor, praying for it to go away. He wakes up to an empty bed night after night. The pain wakes you up. You have nausea patches, and losanges, and a heating pad he is constantly rewarming. If you lay very still, perhaps you can trick it. Play dead. Hours you’ll spend curled in a ball, wondering what it was that you ate that set it off, that made it so angry. Was it the time? The combination? You were down to drinks with minerals and vitamins, hydrating agents to keep you going. Baby food. Liquid diet. You missed food. You missed having an appetite. You missed cooking. But it wasn’t worth it afterwards. Immediately or hours, the nausea, the pain, the discomfort invites itself back into your life. 

Butcher isn't a natural worrier. There isn't a lot that scares him. But this? This leaves him petrified. There is something wrong and no one will listen. You try to shrug it off. It was so much worse all those years ago. It was excruciating. This, if anything, is a walk in the park in comparison. Uncomfortable sure, but that's all. It's not Vought or Homelander, that he can protect you from. That he can stop. Your body working against itself? That he can do nothing about. It isn't fair. It isn't right. And yet, there is nothing to be done. The tests they did were inconclusive. Why risk it again? Why waste your time? You assure him soon it will be gone, a few days, maybe a few weeks. Last time it was six months. You swallow that time like a prison sentence. Six months. You could do it again, if you had to. You could manage. Maybe by then they’d take you seriously. He wanted to yell and scream, at them. Order them around, insist they help, but would that even help? More tests, more waiting. By the time it would be your turn, it would have gone into remission. Loved ones would hypothesize, becoming doctors themselves. Their favorite diagnosis? Nerves. You weren’t anxious, or nervous, or worried. You were wasting away. You were spending your nights trying not to throw up and your days doing anything to prevent discomfort. Even certain clothes, too close, too constricting, were off the table. You couldn’t stand the way they looked at you, everyone but Butcher, wondering if it was physical or mental. He heard you, he saw you, he knew this was all too real. Why couldn’t others? 

You're more tired, exhausted as soon as the sun starts setting. You lose a lot of hours at night, in the early mornings, praying to anyone who will listen that you’ll wake up tomorrow and it will be gone. That you will be fine again. That it really was all in your head. Falling asleep in the car. He tries to avoid bumps in the roads, potholes, not wanting to wake you. Your attention straining: it's always there, in the back of your mind, at the back of your throat. It sits deep in the pit of your stomach and it mocks you. When you finally do complain, just a little, when it's too much, he knows it's really getting bad. He's helpless all over again. The people he's loved, the people he's lost, he can't risk it. Not again. Not with you. There’s little can do, though. There’s little anyone can do. This is not someone he can kill, this is not an organization he can take down. This is chronic, spontaneous, vengeful. It has no rhyme or reason. You let the mask slip every so often. You’re scared. Scared of what they’ll find, scared of what they won’t. He reassures you, whatever it is, you’ll figure it out together. You trust him, you love him, but you can’t do that to him. You can’t be a burden. You body is your own to take care of. So, you throw up in the bathroom, and wear your patches, and make your jokes. You tell him it’s a three, always a three, on a scale from one to ten. You can’t let him worry, he’s got enough on his plate. Yours will remain empty until, hopefully soon, it goes away just as it has appeared.

[our-death-means-flag]

Headcanons: Hugging the Crew of the Revenge

All of them are my blorbos. I want to hug them. So, here’s that. First time posting on this account! Sorry if this sucks! Platonic or Romantic, up to you!

Stede

Probably not very experienced in giving hugs

Always liked the idea and wanted to hug people but it’s not very ‘proper’ and the poor guy didn’t really have any friends so hasn’t gotten to give many hugs

Has many stored up hugs waiting to be unleashed

Would be very eager but would probably overthink it

Give him a heads up. He wants to set up the ideal hug! Tea, pillows, blankets, the whole nine!

He would go and change into his softest clothes for the occasion

Fumbles his way through the first few seconds but once he gets a good handle on it, he gives very good hugs

Hugs you very gently 

Would be happy to read to you while hugging you if it would make you feel better

(It would also make him feel better)

Very soft (fine fabrics) and smells amazing

Just one hug from Stede and you’ll be smelling like flowers for the rest of your day 

Probably does the awkward dad pat on the back

Ed

Probably also not super experienced in hugs

But also very very excited

A very forceful hugger

He gets very excited okay?

Also he strong 

He will 100% squeeze the air out of your lungs

Would also appreciate being squeezed

(Ed would love weighted blankets and I will die on this hill)

Also probably the most likely to pick you up and swing you around

He won’t drop you don’t worry 

Despite all the shenanigans, his hugs feel very warm and sturdy

He was probably overthinking just as much as Stede but he’s just better at bluffing confidence

How does he win a hug?

If you tell him you he did a good job with it, congratulations, he will now hug you whenever he sees you 

Will probably ask for another hug right after putting you down

Izzy

Hugs for the rat-man

Local meow-meow has never been hugged

Will insist up and down that he doesn’t want/need a hug

He absolutely does but will never ask

Also no way is he self aware enough to even consider the possibility that he might need one

If you somehow manage to give him a hug, he will have absolutely no idea what to do 

Will probably stand there, hands awkwardly in the air like someone has him at gunpoint until you tell him it’s okay to touch you

Once he properly is hugging you he will melt immediately

This man is incredibly touch starved and this is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to him 

He gets one (1) kind gesture and he immediately has an existential crisis

Might cry and if you let him hide his face in your shoulder he’ll cry harder

Let him cry. Poor guy needs a good cry

Hugs incredibly gently by default (He doesn’t want to hurt you)

Will probably never ask for another hug but will be thinking about it for a long time

Please hug him again

Lucius 

Gives very good hugs, nice, comforting 

Definitely knows what to say to make you feel better 

Also pretty open with affection in general 

Loops his arm over your shoulder when talking etc.

Would probably whisper something flirty in your ear just to watch you get flustered (If you’re alright with it of course)

Would also go for the ass grab (he asks first of course)

If you’re strong enough to carry him, he would 100% ask you to

Though if you say yes even once he will keep asking. He’s kind of lazy and very flirty so he would be living the dream getting carried around

Also wouldn’t hesitate to rally the entire crew to give you a group hug if he thought it would help you 

Black Pete

Would initially insist he’s too cool for hugs

This doesn’t last more that ten seconds because he actually really likes hugs and will fold very quickly even if you don’t push

Seamlessly switches over to claiming he gives the best and coolest hugs

They are pretty cool hugs admittedly 

Comfy but a bit on the tight side 

Would give you a very strong pat on the back

Like a little too hard but he means well

He’s trying

Jim 

Doesn’t strike me as someone who likes hugs all that much

Not very physically affectionate in general 

If they did give one they’d probably be very gentle and they’d do their best to move slowly not to spook you since that’s what they’d prefer

Their hugs feel very safe and comforting

Jim would feel protective of you while they’re hugging you

They’re glaring at everyone over your shoulder 

If Oluwande dragged them into a group hug they’d be a bit more comfortable with that 

They’d probably prefer slinging their arm over your shoulder and sitting next to you to a proper hug

Comfortable but not too much touching involved

Olu

Very very good hugs

I can not emphasize enough how comfy and good his hugs would be 

A true master of hugs 

Knows exactly how much force to use and how long to make it 

Would gently rub your back 

Tells you that everything is going to be okay and you can’t not believe him

His hugs feel so safe you could easily fall asleep in his arms

He would let you if you did

Also probably send Jim to make sure everyone else keeps it down so you can sleep

10000/10 hug

Frenchie 

Loves hugs and physical affection 

The kind of person who would greet you with a hug

Careful at first but that’s mostly because he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable 

Once you give him permission, he will hug you whenever he can

If you hug him from behind he can also play something for you

Cuddles. So many cuddles 

Will happily share a blanket or a pillow with you

Wee John

Loves hugs

Very comfy and soft and warm

Probably very careful about how tightly to hold you

Would pick you up and carry you around

He might drop you

Depending on where you both are and how close you two are he might just book it running 

For the chaos

Would totally let you sleep on top of him (He is a very cozy bed)

Roach

This might be overly specific but I think he’d be the type to run up behind you and jump scare you with a hug from behind 

If you do it back to him he would be pretty happy and proud

Personally I don’t think that startling someone on a ship where most people are armed is a great idea but in his mind if he gets stabbed he can fix it

What’s a little stabbing but a garnish on a hug?

Generally likes hugging from behind

If you’re trying some food he made for you he’d probably be draped over your shoulders like a blanket while waiting for your opinion 

The Swede

The Tackle Hug™

He got excited and just went for it

Sent both of you flying

He felt really bad about it and apologized a lot

Will do it again the next time he wants to hug someone 

No matter how many times it happens, he will never learn

Stede might suggest that the Swede uses it again during a raid as an attack and you have mixed feelings about that 

Ivan 

Hug neutral

If you need one or if a hug would make you feel better he’d be fine with that 

Probably won’t seek out hugs on his own though

You can cry or fall asleep in his arms and he’ll be fine with that

Will happily take care of you

Fang

I think he would be a little nervous 

He hasn’t given many hugs and he really doesn’t want to mess up

Would probably tell you that he’s nervous 

Once you assure him everything’s going to be okay he gives you a very good hug

Gets very excited and will be grinning for a while 

Very safe and warm

Buttons

Would give surprisingly good hugs

Gives you a comforting pat on the back

Grandpa hug vibes

Karl or Olivia would probably join in and perch on your head or shoulder (They also want you to know they support you)

Buttons would insist that the sea gives the best hugs. (You have no idea what to make of that. He probably isn’t threatening to throw you overboard. Probably )

Also make sure you do not ask him while he is moonbathing

He would absolutely pause the moonbathing to hug you 

But he will not pause to put on pants

Be warned

[gaylactic-fire]

Nah I hate the persistence of "Vidow is toxic" in the FS fandom. ESPECIALLY given the nature of fanon surrounding them.

Like we know. We're aware, within the confines of the manga, that their relationship isn't healthy by any real world standard. It's fucked up. It's messy. But it's also.. really interesting?? I can't speak for everyone who enjoys the ship, but when I see them I see two characters who, at their best, have incredibly fun banter and an appealing dynamic. Two characters who don't want to hurt each other, but due to the circumstances of their time together and clashing morals and priorities, ultimately end up doing so.

And like obviously this is not the universal thought shared by shippers, as I said. But it's clear that many of us feel some similar way. We want to see their dynamic explored more. We wonder what would happen if their circumstances were different, or if they were to meet again, what changes would occur. There's SO MANY lovingly crafted post canon AUs of Shadow coming back, with many actively acknowledging the fucked up past between the two and how it affects their current relationship. It's not always sunshine and rainbows "I forgive you immediately." and then they cry. I've read / seen many pieces with a lot of nuance. There's themes of anger, grief, confusion, but ultimately healing and moving forward, too and it's all FANTASTIC.

So I guess when fans are actively trying to deepen this relationship and push it far beyond the scoope of the original manga, it's always frustrating to see people dig their heals into the ground and insist the ship must be toxic, even in an entirely different context. Nobody's forcing anyone to ship anything, and I certainly don't judge if the manga dynamic was just something you didn't enjoy. But it's a weird hill to die on if you're trying to start beef with "fix it" fanon. Like, you don't want to see these characters grow and move on? Become better? Acknowledge and admit their mistakes? Find love in each other, in spite of everything? Alrighty then. Whatever floats your boat I guess

[sgiandubh]

"He's actually paying those PR people? Whatever for? A drunk wombat would be better at the task." I LOL'd because my god have we been asking this very question of both Sam and Cait for years. They're PR is actually the worst. It's honestly hard to believe at times. Absolutely zero idea who either of them are trying to reach. The recalibrating after that VF disaster sent Cait into hiding, I'm not sure she's done another print interview since Belfast promo ended and if the Sam articles are going to continue on this way, he can quit too. Boring.

Dear Quit Anon,

I am flattered I managed to bring a smile or even a LOL, but I am not particularly glad about it. Unlike droves of people who think this PR shitshow is sad, I actually find it mystifying.

You are right. Goddess C went into occultation after that cursed VF interview. There are clear reasons, I think, for that. Also, please take into account the fact that, despite the illusions peddled by some fuckwits in this fandom, there are many things we simply do not know (nor should we, most probably).

As for S, I guess that ever since she went totally MIA (as I said, make-up and fash-un promo don't really compensate), he is overexposing himself. On purpose. Perhaps to protect her (I think so). Certainly to hide something. Since this is no way in hell about being gay (I will die on that hill and I know I am right), the only thing he could hide is well... I don't really need to draw it, do I?

Smoke and mirrors is always a risky strategy. S simply hasn't got what it takes to play that game long term, probably for the same reasons he was never a serious shortlist candidate for Bond. At this point in time, he'd mechanically go with whatever merde du jour is thrown by his imbecile PR on the table. Still, it's high time he'd seriously pull himself together. He can do better, as I wrote in a comment: he can do NYT and he did it very well, recently. And I was glad to see that. But Metro is just disappointing, clueless and tasteless. And it's padding up a press portfolio with amiable, meaningless bullshit that goes nowhere. Or at least nowhere near he wants to be or see himself in, let's say, five years from now.

OL is going to end. It has to. It's been both a blessing and a curse, I said that before. Then, it will be high time to end the fucking Truman Show. He (abstractly) knows that, he keeps hinting about it. “I’m ready for new challenges, but also nervous about what it’s like in the real world” - for some reason, I found this phrase very telling. But I doubt he internalized what probably still feels like a safely remote occurrence, right now.

What are his real projects? For the moment, zero. Directing? I'd love to see it, but he's got no real credentials for that. Bond? I mean, publicly gushing and insisting is not going to manifest it. He needs a real movie, a good one to break that glass ceiling. Is he going to get it? I hope so. But his personal brand awareness is still low. The PR clowns should stop talking to us, in here: we are already here and not going anywhere. All of us: antis, mommies, shippers, fencers, haters, trolls. They should talk to the people who have no clue who S is, and do it differently. He should step out of his comfort zone, ditch the leeches and refuse to discuss his personal life, for a while. There, I said it.

What are her real projects? For the moment, not much. Sure, we have The Cut, where I gather her part is minimalistic, to be kind. We also have The Amateur, of which very little is known at the moment. However, if I am correct, she is not one of the leads. Enough said. And beyond that? Crickets.

Make no mistake. The real litmus test is not now. The real litmus test is 2025. And then we'll see. And I'll still be here, taking weeping Anons because I don't know who said I don't know what I don't know where. Mark me.

[redhead1180]

https://www.tumblr.com/redhead1180/753555840255115264/what-do-you-think-about-kie-and-jj-going-into-s4

I’m interested what about his personality you think they changed for Kie bc I always saw it as basic character development but I’m super interested to see your view xx

I'm sorry anon it took so long to answer, but below are some things my moot @echo-at-the-pond came up with while discussing.

Let's start with Kie:

Let me start to say when I first watched this, I thought Kie was gay. Honest to God. She has the potential to be a strong character and not a 'pick me' girl, but the writers didn't go that route and now she is just that, the 'pick me' girl for her guy friends. Now I will be honest, never have been a big Kie fan, but she at least had principles and integrity in s1. My biggest issue with Kie is she needs to check her kook card. Girl insists on being a pogue but has no clue. Literally, she has a big comfy house and can get a hot meal anytime she wants. She has two loving parents, her remark in S2 about this would be easier without parents in front of JJ was so obtuse. I may not agree with their methods, but literally, all her problems are her fault. I know she is a teenager, but the girl takes no responsibility for herself. She blames everyone else for her problems. Like yelling murderer to Ward and then blaming JJ for breaking the camera. And that's another thing, she did nothing but yell and berate JJ in s1 and 2. She doesn't understand him AT ALL, and then all of sudden in s3 she had a epiphany and loves him. What?! Sorry I feel the love is a convenience for her and something she needs to feel better, not real. And yes I know they are teens, but come on, JJ deserves so much better than someone who wants love for the sake of it. Again pick me trope. I honestly don't see this as character development, again fitting the narrative for the couple. And don't get me started what she did to Pope. If one of the guys had done that to her and then moved to another girl, they would be crucified. Probably more, but that is all I can think of for her.

Now to JJ:

Ok, first off, home boy would never get with Kie after the thing with her and Pope. Sorry, the boy is all about loyalty and Pope is too important to him. As @echo-at-the-pond said he went from "I'd go to jail for Pope" loyalty to "I'm gonna fuck around with my best friend who is my friend's ex", it's baffling. He wouldn't jeopardize their friendship like that and honestly, I think that would turn him off to Kie. I will die on this hill that s1 JJ would never get with her after everything that happened in s1 and 2. The guy has MAJOR trust issues and they just threw all that out the window. Yes, he honestly would have a hard time letting someone love him, and I do feel it would have to be long time friend for JJ to fall for because those issues. But Kie would have broke that trust with the Pope thing. Other things the writers changed was his stealing and recklessness. It wasn't there all that much in s3. Many of the established habits, stealing for no reason, recklessness, his crazy ass plans, were gone. Some would say character development, but I feel like they just toned him down for Kie, cause a tiger don't change his stripes. They toned JJ down a lot in s3 and it just doesn't fit him.

I am sure there is more but that is all I got for right now. I am sure , any disagree with me, but I know a lot agree.

[lucius-morningstar]

Personal Headcanons/Theories

These are personal headcanon's I have on Hazbin Hotel (Yes I am taking into account that Lucius is apart of this) I head canon that Hell has a book of sinners just as heaven has a book of winners. It claims some of their final moments before dying and ultimately going to hell or some of the actions that could have had them sent. (Rules getting more strict as the years went on) Lucius had his theories about Vaggie being "Different" but did he assume angel, no. He tends to check the book every few weeks to keep an eye on new comers or people who could be a danger to Charlie as a whole and couldn't find anything on Vaggie despite looking. He eventually does let it go while keeping a close eye on her for the next two years. (Note: He only lets it go because Charlie does eventually get annoyed and snaps at him for pushing his redirect on Charlie. Even though she knows it's out of fear for her safety, she insists she can handle herself) Vaggie and Lute had flings, the "Vile and blasphemous" comment I feel could be from two different junctions. One being on the fact that Vaggie is screwing around with a demon/nephilim and maybe becoming bigotted and hostile due to the possibility that Vaggie dumped her. I also theorize that in Lute's comment "What is SHE doing here." was more towards Vaggie and not Charlie. I will die on this fucking hill! Royals view sinners as garbage/left overs. So dating one is considered the lowest form to them. (Lower then dating an imp or hell hound) as in dating someone that even earth itself doesn't want. I also theorize that Lucifer and Sera we're once pretty close. (Whether you guys view it as siblings or friends is up to you. I am choosing to be open for many reasons until we're told they're family) I am open to them being best friends or maybe even Sera having feelings for Lucifer at one point which is why she's a bit more bitter towards sinners then most elders. (Yes I am taking the Lin and Pema approach to this because I was right once and that's all I need lol jk jk) Exorcists are okay to date each other (And Adam) but aren't permitted to go after Winners or Seraphim's (Seraphim's being a big no no) due to their "life style" and the possibility of them turning or revealing information to those they love out of guilt is far higher. I headcanon that Nephilim magic has the power to overwrite heavenly and hellish laws, they just don't know it. Hence meaning that Charlie herself is able to prove others wrong. I.E. Sir Pentious being redeemed proved sinners can be "fixed" and be better. I honestly do believe Charlie being a nephilim is a big reason as to why. Does it make sense, no but when does shit ever make sense. This also means Charlie (And By Proxy Lucius) have the ability to break deals if using enough power. Note that forcing a deal to break can take an immense amount of energy and be painful to both parties (The one breaking the deal and the one who holds said soul) Charlie (and Lucius in my verse) are technically one of the strongest but are also viewed rather lowly because their mother is a sinner. First created sinner but still a sinner none the less. I may have more but this is all I got right now.

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

A Drop That Wore Away the Stone Around His Heart: Chapter IV - Face Your Fear

Chapter Summary: You wake up after drinking the poison to see General Kirigan by your side. You slowly recover after the whole ordeal only to go with General on another dangerous mission. This time General and his fellow Grisha are investigating something in Tsibeya.

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Ivan, Fedyor Kaminsky, Zoya Nazyalensky

Word Count: 3639

A/N: Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089571774/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089554939/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089554918/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089554902/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/AZIwchGbiCpxQj6A-5J_9voVRw82JhC9oAC1mOOeKNFWHmUI_S9yam8/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089571746/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089554956/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089554958/

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

Your eyes opened slowly. You looked around hazily. You were in your room. It was night. Someone was sitting by your side and reading a book. You blinked. The person looked like General Kirigan but it couldn't be him. However, no matter how many times you blinked, he still looked like him.

Suddenly, you started coughing. General's eyes snapped to you. Seeing you awake he quickly put the book away and grabbed a glass of water. He helped you sit up and offered it to you.

'Here,' he said. You gladly drank water. General helped you lay down and put the glass away. He looked at you intensely.

'How are you feeling?' he asked.

'Like someone squeezed my organs, put me in a barrel and push it down a hill,' you answered. 'Ugh… How am I alive?'

'Grisha saved you,' General answered. You looked at him with doubt. Why would Grisha save you?

'I ordered them to,' General explained. Ah.

'You shouldn't have,' you said quietly. General looked at you sternly.

'You saved me from the poison,' he said. 'The least I could do was to make sure you're not going to die because of King's vanity and disregard of servants.'

He spat the last words. You preferred not to argue.

'Did you find who planted the poison?' you asked. General sighed and shook his head.

'No one knows who put that bottle on the table,' he said and looked at you with curiosity. 'How did you know it's not one you bought?'

'I mark them,' you answered after a moment. 'After they're being tasted for poison, I have them sealed and mark them. A small sign, but I see if it's there immediately. I decided to do it in case of something like that.'

General looked at you with astonishment and… in awe? No, it wasn't that. You were sure.

'Clever,' he praised you. 'Thank you. You saved me with that. And I'm sorry. The King shouldn't have ordered you to drink that.'

'Better me than you,' you said, shaking your head. General looked like wanted to say something but in the end he stayed quiet.

'You're going to be alright,' he said. 'But you need to rest for a few days. Do you hear me?'

'Honestly, I'm okay,' you said. 'A day, two at most and I'll be back to my duties.'

'Stop telling me you're okay,' General said harshly. His tone of voice surprised you. He was looking at you with a hard stare.

'You always do that,' he said. 'Something happens and you insist you're okay. When it's clear you're not. Don't do that. Your life matters.'

Silence fell in the room. For a moment you stared into each other's eyes. You were first to look away.

'Why did you drink that?' General broke the silence. 'You knew what would happen.'

'As your servant-' you started.

'It is not your duty to save my life,' General interrupted you. 'So, why did you do it?'

You knew it was an important question. The answer to it even more. You tried to think of a proper way of saying it.

'Because you are kind,' you finally said. General looked at you as if you suddenly had sprouted two more heads.

'I am not kind,' he denied. You smiled softly.

'Then why do you keep insisting that my life matters, while everyone else shows me the other way?' you asked. 'You protect me from harm and from others. This isn't kindness?'

He gave you that intense stare again. You looked at your hands.

'I'll get a Healer to take a look at you,' General said suddenly and stood up. 'Shout if something was wrong.'

'I think I can manage for a few minutes,' you joked. General didn't laugh. He shook his head and walked to the door. He stopped by it and looked at you. You closed your eyes, tired. He stayed for one more minute, then left.

'Is she awake?' Fedyor, who had been waiting outside, asked.

'Yes,' General answered. 'Stay here. I'll get her a Healer.'

'Don't you want it to be other way around?' Fedyor asked.

'No,' General answered. 'I need to…'

He didn't finish. He just sighed and walked away. Fedyor looked at the door to your room.

'Look at that,' he said and grinned. 'Maybe I will win this bet with Ivan after all.'

*

It had been weeks since the poisoning. During them you had recovered and had resumed your duties. But General still had asked you not to strain yourself. But something had happened that caused him to start preparing for a journey. This time you were to leave with him.

'Do I want to know where we're going?' you asked, as you were leaving the Little Palace with Natasha, who was to go with you as well.

'Didn't General Kirigan told you?' she asked. You shook your head.

'He was on some secret meeting almost all day yesterday,' you answered. 'I just caught glimpses of him.'

'Usually you're glued to his side,' Natasha teased.

'Unless he has secret meetings,' you said, punctuating the words. Just then General showed up suddenly in front of you. Natasha quickly curtsied. For some reason you were rarely doing it now. Or calling him 'sir'. There was certain familiarity between you two.

'Is everything ready?' he asked you. You nodded without meeting his eyes.

'We can departure at any moment,' you said. 'Wherever we're going.'

'Tsibeya,' General said. You and Natasha froze.

'That's… on the border with Fjerda,' Natasha said in a weak voice. 'Why would we go there?'

'There's something we must investigate there,' General answered curtly. 'We're leaving in a few minutes.'

You nodded and he left. Natasha looked at you with curiosity.

'Say…' she said. 'Why do you always look away when he is staring at you? I mean, for others it's normal because he terrifies them, but I know he doesn't scare you.'

'Because it takes courage to look into his eyes and not fall in love with them,' you answered quietly.

'Say again?' Natasha asked, frowning. You cleared your throat.

'Just showing my respect,' you said and entered the carriage you were to travel in. Natasha sighed and followed you inside. Soon you started your journey.

It had been days before you reached your destination. The night has fallen and you were forced to spend the night in a forest. You were tasked to prepare the food others had hunted.

'I'll make sure no one is around,' Ivan said after the supper. General nodded and the Heartrender left. A few minutes later you were forced to excuse yourself to relieve your bladder. You were coming back when you suddenly couldn't breathe and your vision blurred. You started to panic.

Are you out of your damn mind?!

It was over as quick as it started. You could breathe and see again. You blinked and frown. You were looking at the canopy of trees. Oh. You were laying on the ground.

'Are you alright?' General asked, as he knelt by your side.

'Not sure,' you murmured. General and Fedyor, who was there as well, helped you up. Ivan was standing a few feet away.

'You could have just said if the soup wasn't to your liking,' you murmured. Fedyor chuckled next to you.

'Well?' General snapped. 'May I know why did you attack one of our own?'

'I didn't know it's her,' you heard Ivan's voice. 'I thought it's a Fjerdan.'

'First look, then attack,' General said, annoyed.

'I apologise,' Ivan said, more to General than to you.

'I think I need to sit down,' you said.

'Fedyor,' General said. Fedyor put your arm over his shoulder and walked you to the camp. General and Ivan stayed behind.

'What happened?' Natasha asked, her face going white at the sight of you.

'I think Ivan doesn't like me,' you answered, sitting down next to her.

'He barely likes anyone,' a Squaller, Zoya, said. 'What did he do this time?'

'He mistook me for a Fjerdan,' you murmured and looked at Natasha. 'Do I look like one?'

'No, he must be blind,' Natasha snorted and looked with panic at Fedyor. But he smiled, amused. Just then General and Ivan returned. General stopped in front of you.

'How are you?' he asked. You were about to say you're okay, but remembered what he had asked of you after you had drunk poison.

'I just need to sleep,' you answered.

'We all could use a sleep,' Zoya said.

'Get some, then,' General said. 'Tomorrow, we start looking.'

'For what?' Natasha asked in a whisper after Kirigan had walked away.

'Whatever it is, I hope it's going to be found quickly,' you said and shivered. 'This place creeps me out.'

*

Next day Grisha went to search for whatever they needed to find. You, Natasha and one Grisha stayed behind. The Grisha was to keep an eye on you and the camp.

'Damn, we need more water for the soup,' Natasha said at some point. The Grisha hesitated.

'We must be quick,' he grunted. Natasha nodded and grabbed a bucket.

'Stay here,' the Grisha said to you and left with Natasha. You busied yourself with fixing the fire. Suddenly, you heard a twig snap behind you. You whirled around and froze.

Three men were standing on the edge of the camp. You had no idea how they had gotten so close without making any noise earlier. One of them pointed a gun at you.

'Don't move,' he said. His accent told you he's a Fjerdan. You raised your hands slowly. Two other men walked to you and searched you.

'Not a Grisha,' one said and spitted. 'Just a servant.'

'Not just an any servant,' the other man said and grinned, looking at the armband on your arm. 'She's the Darkling's personal servant.'

You shivered. That was not looking good for you. Next thing you knew there's a dull pain at the back of your head and you're surrounded by darkness.

When few minutes later Natasha and the Grisha returned, you and three Fjerdans had been already gone. Soon after others got back. General stopped dead in his tracks seeing the look on Natasha's face.

'What happened?' Fedyor asked, also seeing this.

'[Y/N] is gone,' Natasha answered, her lip trembling, causing General to stiffen. 'We left to get some water. When we returned, she was gone.'

'Maybe the nature called?' Zoya asked, raising an eyebrow.

'We thought so too, at first,' the Grisha that had stayed behind said. 'But then I saw this…'

He pointed at the footsteps left by the three Fjerdans. Others hurried to them and took a look at them. General's face became grim.

'Fjerdans?' Fedyor asked.

'Most likely,' Ivan agreed. 'But why would they take her?'

'To get information on us?' Zoya suggested. 'Though, I wish them good luck with that. The girl was not afraid to drink poison intended for the General. I hardly believe she'd say anything to them willingly.'

'Which means we have to find her fast,' General said, already walking to his horse.

'Sir… is that wise?' the Grisha that had stayed asked. General whirled to face him and poor guy had to take a step back, scared of the look of fury on his commander's face.

'I don't care if it's wise,' General growled. 'We're going to get her back and that's final.'

Without waiting for anyone else, he got on top of his horse and spurred it forward. Others had to quickly do the same. Still, he was way ahead of them. In his head was only one thought.

Please, be alright…

*

You were not yet in Fjerda, that much you knew. It looked like you were in a camp. Full of Fjerdans. Hanging by your arms in a tent. At least a dozen of men was inside. Yep. You were going to die this time. For now, though, you were being questioned. You're not sure how long this had been going on. But you knew the men were becoming restless with your stubbornness.

'Look, sunflower,' one man said. 'We don't want to hurt you. You're a serving girl. You're not important. But the man you work for… he is a big thing. Give us something that can help us bring him down and we will let you go.'

'I'm not an idiot, I know you mean by that you will kill me,' you said flatly. Ha. As if you would ever betray General Kirigan.

'Oh, sunflower,' the man said, walking closer to you. He looked you up and down. You shivered at the lecherous look in his eyes. He grinned.

'There are worse things than death,' he said. You bit your lip to stop yourself from whimpering.

'Touch her and you'll learn exactly what's worse than death,' a familiar voice said in a low, threatening tone. The tent was slowly covered in darkness. Your heart skipped a bit. No way…

'What on-?!' the man in front of you asked, whirling around. He couldn't help but feel fear at the look on the Darkling's face. He looked absolutely murderous.

'That's the-!' someone shouted. He never finished the thought. General summoned the Cut and killed every man in the tent. You gasped, feeling blood splattering your face. The man in front of you, same as every other one, fell on the ground in pieces. You spited out the blood that got into your mouth.

'I think this is becoming a theme,' you said.

'Me saving you?' General asked, hurrying to your side.

'Yeah, and me being covered in someone's blood in the process,' you answered and frowned. 'Why are you dressed like that?'

Only now you had noticed that General wasn't wearing his usual black, but Fjerdan clothes. He untied you quickly.

'I needed to get into the camp somehow,' he answered. 'If I had entered wearing my clothes, I'd have brought attention to myself.'

'True,' you agreed. 'Do I... want to know what happened to the previous owner of those clothes?'

'Probably not,' General answered.

'Okay,' you said, trying to stay calm. 'So… how are we going to get out?'

'We're just going to walk away,' General answered. Your eyes went wide. But he grabbed your arm and led you out of the tent. You stiffened but no one paid any attention to you. General started dragging you with himself. He could tell you were about to panic.

'Act natural,' he murmured.

'For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic,' you said, trying to stop your body from shaking.

'No, that's not what I meant!' General hissed. 'Act like it's a normal day!'

'My "normal" days of late consist of a lot of panic,' you said.

'Will you just cooperate?'

'When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!'

General gritted his teeth. He understood you were afraid. But he wasn't going to let you die. You must knew that.

'Where are others?' you asked, looking around. Of course, you didn't expect they would come to rescue you. Hells, you were surprised General had come.

'They stayed behind,' General answered. You reached the edge of the camp. There General Kirigan's horse was waiting. And you had thought you couldn't be stressed more.

'Get on,' General said, grabbing the reins. You looked at him as if he was mad.

'No,' you protested. General looked at you, surprised. Then, annoyed.

'Get on!' he repeated.

'No!' you said stubbornly.

'Now!' he hissed.

'Make m-' you started. He quickly covered your mouth with his hand.

'Trust me, love,' he said, his voice low. 'That's a sentence you don't want to finish.'

You shivered under his gaze. You were so shocked that General had no trouble with grabbing you by the waist and hoisting you up. In a flash you were on top of his horse. Your eyes widened in panic.

'No, please, no,' you begged him. But then you heard shouts of alarm. Ah, the bodies had been found.

'We must hurry,' General said, mounting his horse behind you. Before Fjerdans could notice you, he made his horse to gallop away. You were holding on for dear life, screaming inside your head.

'General!' you suddenly heard. Only then you noticed others on their horses. You saw they were confused by General's clothes.

'We must go!' General ordered. They turned around and together you rode as far from Fjerdans as you could. You had no idea how long it had taken you to go back to the camp. But finally, the horse stopped.

'[Y/N]!' you heard Natasha's relieved cry. 'You're alive! Oh, my God…'

She stopped by the horse, looking at you with wide eyes. You were white as sheet and shaking. Your friend was actually scared you were going to have a heart attack.

'[Y/N]…' she said softly. General dismounted the horse and grabbed your hips. He put you on the ground and supported you, feeling you're about to faint.

'Are you okay?' Natasha asked softly, taking you from General.

'I… I want to go home,' you answered after a moment, trying to stop the tears from falling from your eyes.

'Shh… It's alright,' Natasha cooed and took you toward the fire. General watched you go with a frown. He turned after a moment to his companions.

'Gather things, we must leave at once,' he ordered.

'Sir, what about our mission?' Zoya asked. General shook his head.

'To many Fjerdans,' he sighed and glanced at you. 'It's not worth it.'

*

You had to stop for the night. Everyone was exhausted after the quick escape, so they went to bed, leaving one person on guard duty. You, however, could not sleep. So, you sat down by the fire and watched the flames.

'You're afraid of horses,' you suddenly heard. You jumped in alarm, looking around with wide eyes.

'I'm sorry,' General Kirigan said and sat down next to you. 'I didn't mean to frighten you. You had enough of that already today.'

'It's fine,' you said quietly. General watched you for a moment.

'What happened?' he asked. 'Why do horses scare you so much?'

You hesitated. You had never told this to anyone. Everyone was usually assuming you fell from the horse. But it's not what had happened.

'When I was a little girl… I used to like horses,' you finally started. 'Not as much as my older sister, though. She loved them with her whole heart. She used to spend time with them from dawn to dusk.'

You gulped. It was so hard to go on… Suddenly, a hand took yours. You looked up and saw General looking at you softly. It gave you courage to go on. You inhaled shakily.

'One day, I was watching my sister riding on a field, while feeding the chickens,' you said and shut your eyes closed. 'Suddenly, her horse reared. She tried to hold on but… but somehow, she found herself under him. I screamed and ran to her. The horse almost trampled me in the process. I barely escaped. But when I got to my sister… her body was twisted in an unnatural way…'

You stopped, trying to fight the coming tears. General squeezed your hand.

'You saw her die,' he said quietly. 'No wonder you are afraid of horses. You must have seen her body every time you were close to one.'

'Yes,' you confirmed quietly.

'And yet I never noticed it when I asked you to get my horse ready and wait with him for me,' General said, shaking his head. 'I'm so sorry.'

'No,' you said and felt tears falling down your face. 'It was my duty. I… I just had to hold him for a short moment. Stableboys were doing most of the job.'

'But today I forced you to ride on one. I'm so sorry.'

'You didn't know. You were trying saving me. I'm really grateful for it. I… I really didn't expect you to come. I thought I'm going to die there…'

'I told you. Loyalty works both ways. I would do it again in a heartbeat.'

'… Thank you.'

You looked up and smiled at him. You sniffed and tried to dry your tears. You chuckled dryly.

'I'm sorry,' you said, embarrassed. 'I'm so pathetic and weak, I know…'

'This? These tears?' General asked, cupping your face. 'They are not a weakness. They show how strong you are and how strong you've been. And when you're done, look back and know that you were strong enough to overcome what you once thought to be impossible.'

'I didn't do a good job, though,' you said. 'I was more afraid than when I was in that tent with Fjerdans.'

'And yet you managed to make it,' General said. 'You should be proud of yourself. I am.'

Your eyes met. Your heart was beating like crazy. You felt something changing between you two in that moment… and then you yawned.

'You need to sleep,' General said but saw fear in your eyes. 'Come here.'

Before you could understand what's going on, he was enwrapping you in a hug. You blushed furiously.

'Uh… General?' you asked, confused.

'I will take you to your tent once you fall asleep,' General promised and felt your body becoming heavier. 'Is it alright?'

'Mhm…' you murmured, already half asleep. 'Thank you. You feel more like home than anywhere I've ever been…'

General stiffened. But you barely registered that. Dreamland was calling you. It was surprisingly easy to fall asleep in General's arms.

'Sleep,' he said quietly. 'I'll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you.'

You didn't answer him. You just snuggled into him and sighed with content.

'Fuck,' General whispered after a moment. 'I'm screwed.'

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could.

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46508638/chapters/117295990

[footballffbarbiex]

A manager request you said?

How about she offers Marco Rose her mouth after a disappointing match to relief some tension? Either at the stadium or when he’s back home (maybe he barely makes it in the door before she’s on him. And if it’s at home, she could just offer herself and not just her mouth)

idk how many words are in this, I'm typing it from the ask so I'll die on my typo hill. smut from the start.

she'd joked previously about how Marco couldn't go a week without getting his dick wet from at least one hole and Marco had been adamant that he could. Insisted. Promised. Threatened too, that he could.

But watching his team fall apart in the way that they had had meant that he would be very much regretting his words. Regretting that this match had happened during this promised dry spell week.

She'd watched nervously from his box as the defence had fallen apart, the strikers were just not capable of finding the back of the net and yet, encouraged a very intimate relationship with the bar instead. She knew that Marco wouldn't mind losing, he wasn't dumb. He knew it would happen during the season and fully anticipated some losses, but it was the way they lost.

She watched as he paced along the side lines, gesturing wildly and angrily at times and knew that she couldn't let him stay in his head after this, because she knew him and knew that he would be over thinking it afterwards.

She waited until the players filed out after the match, having received a message from Marco saying to meet her in the car while he went over a few things before he met her. She didn't want that. Wouldn't accept that kind of message and instead, barged now into the locker room to find him.

He's in front of the large whiteboard with his tablet in his hand as he watched the "highlights" back. He double looks when he realises it's her and not a member of his coaching team and begins to argue that he'd told her to wait.

"No." She tells him, eyes never leaving his face as she marches towards him and strokes her hand over his crotch, realising now just how "free use" this seems.

"This isn't the time," he tries to scold her and though a frustration edging into anger is coursing through his veins, he can't deny the way his cock twitches as blood begins to rush there thanks to her palming at him.

"This is exactly the time. I'm not having you be pissed off all the way home and go to bed in a mood."

"We can do this at home."

"We can do this here too." she replies, hand now wrapping around his semi hard cock to stroke it a little better.

"Fuck," he hisses, breathing becoming more shallow as she unbuttons him, unzips him and dips her hand into his boxers. The short patch of hair nuzzles her wrist as her hand fills with the soft velvety skin of his shaft. Hot and thick in her palm, she palms him until he's fully hard and he's struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Tell me to get on my knees Marco."

"Get on your knees and suck my cock baby."

"Gladly" she replies before pressing the flat of her tongue at the base of his shaft and dragging it to the tip where she swirls the first inch of it around the head and sinks her mouth down over him.

[sleepingdeath-light]

femboy s/o hcs ; pastel meringue cookie

requested by ; anonymous (15/03/23)

fandom(s) ; cookie run

fandom masterlist(s) ; hub | specific

character(s) ; pastel meringue cookie

outline ; “Hello love ^^ May I request a pastel meringue cookie x male reader (femboy reader if possible 👉👈) who also really likes frilly and pastel color outfits? I think it’s so cute that we get to have a male cookie who’s into cute pink stuff like me!!

Maybe pastel meringue makes cute outfits for his male s/o to try on and even asks his s/o to model his outfits for other cookies to see because he just wants to show how pretty his partner is x3”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

you two are 100% a match made in heaven

like pastel meringue has finally found his ideal partner and his ideal model in one person, and you’ve found someone who shares your love of all things cute and that can provide you with the outfits you love to wear

he starts making and designing clothing with you and your tastes in mind to the extent that it feels wrong to have any other model wear it

but that’s hardly a downside since he loves showing you off to other people — and he loves seeing you in clothes he’s designed

most of his designs are incredibly intricate and expensive to create, which translates to long hours spent in his office and his work room

but when he’s working he loves having you around to bounce ideas off of and just chat to

which also means plenty of discussions are had over a tray of confections and a good few cups of tea — usually consisting of you both fawning over each other, his designs and throwing ideas back and forth as to how you could make each item cuter

he’ll base everything off of your proportions — every skirt or dress, every blouse or blazer, every pair of shorts or stockings

everything is styled on you

and all of it’s made in pastel with plenty of frills and other fancy details, of course

he thinks you’re the cutest thing ever and insists on taking you with him to every gala and competition and runway and business gathering to show you off

which, of course, means plenty of new outfits designed with the sole purpose of demonstrating how wonderful you look (and how exceptional his skills as a designer are)

you do have matching outfits, of course, but he loves seeing you in things that he wouldn’t normally wear (usually due to the restrictions of his work)

like, for example, he thinks you look awesome in skirts and designs them for you often — but because he works around machinery a lot he doesn’t want to run the risk of getting distracted and catching his clothes in a machine, so he wouldn’t wear them himself

the frillier the outfit the better and there can never be too many layers are basically his life mottos when it comes to his work

so expect a lot of intricate, detailed, cute clothes to be added to your wardrobe

he also brags about you a lot to other people, always mentioning how cute his boyfriend is and how amazing you look in his clothes — even pointing you out when you’re modelling to show off how proud he is of you

this is a hill he’s willing to die on and he’s gotten into arguments with a good few people who aren’t too fond of your shared love of a cutesy aesthetic

[girlreviews]

Review #293: Last Splash, The Breeders

FUUUUUUUCK I love this record, but it permanently damaged the hearing in my right ear. I caught their show at Blackheath Hall in 2005. I put myself right at the front because I really loved them that much and I wanted — no, needed — to feel the heaving guitar in my chest, it felt like, to even continue on. I was seventeen so you know, everything felt a bit extra. I might as well have been hugging the PA system. Anyway, I didn’t anticipate what would happen during the part in Cannonball where Kim sings (yells) “WANT YOU, LITTLE CUCKOO” into the harmonic mic with all that distortion. Yeah, it’s loud. It’s so loud. My eardrum burst. I’ve had tinnitus ever since. My poor left eardrum suffered the same fate two weeks later at the Reading Fez (RIP), during a Mew show. Respectable, but so much less cool than its audio peeper partner in crime. Wear earplugs my friends. It’s not a joke.

Kim Deal founded The Breeders while The Pixies were on hiatus. Well that’s not true, she had been doing both but never able to focus on The Breeders, until 1993 when went Frank Black abruptly announced The Pixies hiatus live during an interview without informing the other band members first. The hiatus was kind of due burnout from recording three albums in two years and touring the hell out of them. Really though, Kim was not getting along with Frank. Here’s the thing — nobody really gets along with Frank. I love the Pixies. I do. But I will get into a fist fight with anyone who wants to insist that they’re better than The Breeders. They’re not. And the thing is, everyone has listened to The Pixies, while most of those same people haven’t given Kim and her band the same time of day. And you know why that is? Because they’re women who are playing heavy rock music. That’s all there is to it. I won’t hear anymore about it, I won’t say anymore about it and I’m not gonna fucking argue with you or anybody else about it. I’m right. Frank Black is a man, he fronts a band, so he gets paid more attention and listened to, and his shitfuck behavior gets dismissed as creative genius. The songs are great but that doesn’t mean you’re not an asshole, Frank! I’ll die on this hill but I’ll also throw hands before I do. Come at me.

I present to you, No Aloha, which actually, beautifully illustrates my point. It is also both beautiful and knockout punch effortlessly cool. It’s dreamy, and also like “we’re here to fuck shit up”. How can I express that it’s lovely and also ass kicking in its vague but biting commentary on being a woman in the music industry, and trying to make it in a band made up of all women (I think they’ve had a dude drummer in their line up from time to time to be fair, but still). It’s about how people that gave her the time of day during her Pixies tenure don’t give a shit about her now “No bye, no aloha, gone with a rock promoter” and how the perils of womanhood impact her creative output “motherhood means mental freeze, freezeheads, no aloha”. Think about what no aloha means. No hello. No goodbye. The disrespect. Ugh. Fuck yes to putting this out there unabashedly.

Obviously, Cannonball, the song that exploded my right ear, is iconic. If you don’t immediately recognize its bassline then I regret to inform you that you need to brush up on your general pop culture knowledge and you stand literally no chance of ever placing at any kind of trivia night. But most importantly, where have you been, and what have you been doing? And are you okay? Genuinely, you’re missing out. The whole thing about them is that musically they are just making some NOISE, and rocking so hard, but Kim’s voice is also so gentle and smooth. Like warm molten wax, or thick maple syrup and butter soaking into a perfect pancake. And she’s harmonizing with her own twin sister, who has the same voice? It’s too many textures but they’re polar opposites. It overwhelms and soothes at the same time. It’s quite an experience. So get it in your ears already.

There are some really lo-fi dulled down tracks, that are really tender and only a band of women could make them. Do You Love Me Now? Literally a low energy bass-led ballad earnestly asking someone if they want to get back together. It’s heart on sleeve girl bravery: I still love you and I don’t care if this doesn’t work out for me, I’m gonna say it. Such a poignant question, followed by a command:

“Does love ever end?

When two hearts are torn away?

Or does it go on?

And beat strong anyway?

You’ve loved me before

Do you love me now?

Come on come on come back to me

Right now”

It finishes with this cascade of harmonies. And I adore it.

My favorite track, and favorite story. Drivin’ on 9. A little ditty! Who doesn’t love a ditty? Again I need to talk about Kim’s voice. It’s like. It’s like. What is it like? When you toast a marshmallow and then squish it between a graham cracker and melted chocolate. It’s like, a smooth whiskey, probably (I don’t like whiskey). It’s like a tiny bird just landed on your hand for the briefest moment. It’s so delicate and precious and you don’t know how such a voice comes out of anyone’s mouth, but especially not hers, because she’s so tough and cool. The strings in the song make me want to die in the best way. Like when people say they died and went to heaven. They pluck it AND they use the bows. Why do I love it so much? Probably because it’s a song about driving and thinking. That’s my favorite thing to do.

“Drivin’ on 9

Lookin’ out my windowsill

Wonderin’ if I want you still

Wonderin’ what’s mine”

I last saw them play at Cannery Ballroom, and the most wonderful thing(s) happened. Firstly, they played this track, so I was happy to begin with. But there was some issue, like one of the violins was missing or broken or not able to be mic’d up correctly or something, I forget. So, Kelley Deal SANG the violin solo. And got it dead on. I cried. These women are just the coolest to ever do it.

I write these reviews because I fundamentally have a problem with the makeup of music critics being made up of men. And I notice looking back how these records and tracks are interconnected with trash men who have acted trash to me or others. I have things to say. I take issue with how they’re written as though their subjective opinions are gospel to be consumed as objective fact. This dynamic can make or break someone’s career when it’s their art and creative output that they’ve poured their heart and soul into. It’s no coincidence that music overall, but rock and alternative music in particular is made up of majority white men, too. Some with self-proclaimed “good taste” can just label it good or bad when it’s not necessarily made for someone that looks like them. These reviews are my experience and my opinion and it’s okay with me if you do or don’t agree, if you love a record that I hate, or if you hate a record I love. But more voices are important and remembering that they’re subjective opinions is pretty fucking important. Hearing someone’s passion (or lack of) about a record is more valuable than hearing their self-importance or gravitas. The Rolling Stone Top 500 is fundamentally flawed in how it’s compiled because of who it’s compiled by, and so I’m deconstructing it one review at a time, noting that as a white woman, the addition of my voice isn’t the full answer or even a big part of the answer. But like I said, I have things to say, and I hope if you have things to say, whoever you are, you’ll share too. But here we are: it’s just proving my point. I’ll be writing one review of The Breeders, but two for The Pixies.

I’m just doing what Kim did when she got sick of the bullshit with Frank Black and The Pixies and decided to do it her way. Nowhere near as loud, nowhere near as cool, and I expect your eardrums will survive my reviews in tact.

Signing off with these words from my favorite “girl” band:

“I see a boy I know

His hair's on fire

The whole world I discovered

If you're so special, why aren't you dead?

I just wanna get along

I just wanna get along

I just wanna get along

Wave bye bye

Cus it ain’t never coming down now”

[maya-matlin]

Pick your most unpopular opinion about each of these shows (only if you want to!!): Degrassi, OTH, Gilmore Girls, Friends, Riverdale, That 70s Show, and Dawson's Creek :)

Degrassi:

This is so difficult because I feel like I've stated so many opinions in the past. Okay. I think the Degrassi nudes arc was theoretically really interesting from a psychological standpoint as well as how a survivor would cope after going through a very public sexual assault trial with the details of what happened to them being well known. Because it feels like something so human and yet so misguided, I don't view Zoe's role in it as harshly as others do. To be fair, the writers lost the plot. Literally. It got really sensationalized with blackmailing and cheerleader dolls and fake hostage situations. I also really hate how it turned into a Zoe vs Frankie situation with zero nuance. Their past involving Frankie being an unsupportive friend who victim blamed Zoe multiple times was never brought up once in lieu of Frankie being turned into Zoe's victim. So while I wouldn't say I like the arc itself, I feel like it had potential. The writers just weren't committed to seeing it through and let Zoe down as a character. The aftermath was really underwhelming and made the whole story line irrelevant.

OTH:

Even though I like the shooting episode for what it is, it's a pretty mediocre depiction of characterizing a school shooter. Following Jimmy's suicide, the writing consistently expects the audience to feel sympathy for him and remember him as a good guy who did one bad thing. It's to the point where the entire school ends up signing his high school yearbook. To be fair, a lot of the Jimmy romanticism came from Mouth, who had weird morals himself considering he was the show's resident incel. But beyond that, Jimmy quickly stops being the villain of the episode to orchestrate a scenario where Dan just happens to stumble upon Keith and a gun, giving him the opportunity to murder him. Also, every other scene features monologues given by the characters that are blatantly trying WAY too hard to be deep and profound. Not to mention this episode marked the official return of romantic Lucas/Peyton, but because Peyton was bleeding and supposedly didn't know any better she can't possibly be held responsible for selfishly making a move on her best friend's boyfriend in what she believed to be her last moments. Sorry, fuck that. Your last moments shouldn't include complicating things for two people you claim to care about. Especially not when you were the one who helped ruin their relationship the first time around, and you know for a fact that your best friend still has trust issues over what happened.

Also, Brooke was the love of Lucas's life. I'll die on this hill. Blame Chad Michael Murray's inability to stop giving his ex-wife heart eyes even during scenes post-Brucas, but it is what it is.

Gilmore Girls:

It's difficult to know what is or isn't popular in the Gilmore Girls fandom. I guess I'll say that Rory dropping out of Yale was the right decision? The way I see it, nothing bad was ever going to come out of that. Rory was in a transitional place where she was questioning a lot of her life decisions. She didn't currently feel up to attending school, so she took some time off. It was completely understandable, yet the narrative insists that this was indicative of Rory going down a bad path. I can understand Lorelai wanting Rory to take some time to make sure this was what she wanted but if anything, Lorelai's overreaction probably made Rory take even more time off from school. Had Rory had her mother and best friend in her corner, maybe she would have realized by the beginning of the next semester that she was emotionally ready to return to Yale. Just.. everything with Lorelai, Richard and Emily feeling as though they could force Rory to go back to school as though she was suddenly going to lose her place and never be able to return was stupid. Out of the two of them, Lorelai was the pettiest and most in the wrong during their estrangement. Lorelai was the parent. Lorelai chose not to tell her daughter she was engaged. Rory shouldn't have ever felt as though she couldn't come home until she basically did everything her mother wanted her to do. Considering Lorelai's own history with Emily, you'd think she'd realize that. But again, the writers made sure we knew how badly Rory was ruining her life and making bad decisions for committing the crime of taking a leave of absence from school and daring to try other things in the meantime.

Friends:

My opinions on the Ross/Rachel infamous "break" are all over the place. Technically, I think Ross is right that their relationship was no longer intact when he slept with another woman. Their communication absolutely sucked during this story line. No attempts at clarification were ever made. Ross just walked out when Rachel said she wanted a break, and Rachel let him. Honestly, I don't even think Ross sleeping with someone else so soon after splitting up from Rachel, in whatever form you consider that to be, makes him an asshole. In an ideal world where everyone makes rational decisions all the time, Ross wouldn't have coped with intense heartbreak by immediately sleeping with someone else. But it was a human reaction, and I don't fault him for that. What I do fault him for is hiding it the next day, running around town trying to stop other people from telling Rachel. It's all but admitting that Ross and Rachel were still emotionally connected and in the mindset of being in a monogamous relationship. Even if they technically weren't. What I also fault him for is being so stubborn and adamant on being right that he never admits fault or owns up to causing Rachel pain for several years after that. So what if he didn't technically betray Rachel? To Rachel, it felt like one. Sometimes, when you love someone, you have to be understanding of the complexities of emotions and just take the fucking L, even if you're technically faultless by definition. And honestly, Rachel was part of the problem, too. What kind of relationship or connection do you really have if you're having the same, obnoxious argument for eight years, never able to get on the same page? Like, I know it's a comedy, but Friends wasn't playing up the comedy angle during this arc. Anyways, they definitely shouldn't have ended up together if they were going to keep getting tripped up over one argument for eight years.

Riverdale:

I don't know how unpopular this actually is, but Veronica is extremely underrated and never gets the love and appreciation she deserves. Looking across the entire series, including time jumps, different universes, and eras where the characters literally had powers, Veronica was consistently the most selfless and considerate character on the show. Half the time, she was the mean girl in name only. There were countless occasions where Veronica forgave even when she shouldn't have and/or should have held out for more remorse and effort from the person that wronged her. The attempt to compare Veronica kissing Ginger Judas in the pilot after knowing Archie and Betty for two seconds to Betty doing it three years into Varchie's relationship is.. it has some nerve. Anyways, Veronica was wonderful, ambitious, and everyone on that show was better for having known her. Sadly, she was underappreciated more often than not, rarely ever getting her due. I really wish anyone but Archie had been the love of her life, because he really didn't deserve her by the end.

That '70s Show:

Sometimes, Hyde gets way too much of a pass for his treatment of Jackie. I feel like he's overall the most popular character on the show with his relationship with Jackie being the most popular, resulting in a lot of his questionable behavior getting swept under the rug. Obviously Hyde had issues he needed to work through stemming from his childhood and struggled to let other people in. But Jackie was consistently a pretty great girlfriend for him, going out of her way to show love and affection, only for him to not 100% reciprocate. Fuck Danny Masterson (and honestly Mila at this point too), but a lot of what made that relationship what it was is the chemistry between Danny and Mila and how they chose to demonstrate the love between those two characters. Hyde was still miles ahead of Kelso and Fez and had great moments with Jackie. But it still needs to be said. Hyde put Jackie through a lot.

Dawson's Creek:

While not perfectly written, most of Andie's fall from grace during season 3 makes a lot of sense. I even think Andie cheating on Pacey was in character. It's a controversial take because no one wants to believe that season 2 Andie would have ever done such a thing. But the reality is, Andie had a literal mental breakdown. She says it herself. When Andie went to get mental health help, she was no longer the same girl Pacey fell in love with. Andie was in a dark, lonely, vulnerable place, and she met someone else. This guy understood parts of Andie's mental health struggles that Pacey couldn't, and it led to a friendship that became an emotional affair. They made their own world together, and then had one, impulsive slip up. It doesn't cheapen Andie's love for Pacey, but it's still understandable that Andie crossed a boundary of Pacey's that couldn't be uncrossed. After this, Andie's attempts to recuperate post-breakup, including her treatment of Pacey and even stealing the test were pretty consistent based on how desperately Andie wanted to appear normal and as though everything was under control. However, I also think early season 3 stacked the deck too far against Andie, resulting in her character leaving the show early. The supposed "false accusation" meant to make Andie look bad from a misogynistic, ableist showrunner took it too far. I personally think even during that episode, there are enough hints, including Rob's desperation to shut Andie's story down when she hadn't even gone to the authorities, indicates she told the truth. Seriously, his happy ass was all cocky when Pacey confronted him, but once he sobered up he practically sprinted to Joey's house to use Andie's mental health against her, even manhandling Joey multiple times to force her to listen. But whatever. The intent was obvious, and I still hated it. Anyways, Andie McPhee was great, and I wish people would still appreciate her at her worst. After all, it's what led to season 4 Andie, probably the strongest iteration of her character even though she sadly wasn't around for long.

[terrence-silver]

Beloved surprising Terry with honey cake and apple cookies she baked herself for the new year's dinner. She's a bit nervous because she's not Jewish herself and she's not even sure if she can participate in the celebration but she just looked up the recipes online because she wanted to do something nice for him.

---

It was strange, perhaps, to be with a man who was frequently the subject of tabloids.

Newspapers.

Business insiders and the LA Times reporting on his bankruptcy.

On rumors lined together like a string of pearls, creating a torniquet. Dynatox under fire. Mass sackings. An international conglomerate sliced in half, into countless branches and his personal revenues and failures making headlines on the daily. Sport scandals. Cobra Kai and local Tournament losses. The stock market tanking in lieu of the backlash in the aftermath of so many skeletons in the closet. Talks of bribery. Corruption. It was the September of 1992, --- the beginning of a new decade and the latter part of the year Or the 1st of Tishrei, 5753, and it seemed that even for the Holidays, the media onslaught wouldn't cease. Especially when he downsized, deliberately moving his address from the coveted slopes of his Beverly Hills Ennis mansion overlooking the city, somewhere more compact and amenable. To Malibu. The 80's ended and Terry said, with you distinctly remembering his exact words that all the fun ended with it. Things would change. People would change with it. They'd have to. And things did change, you felt so in your bones as the black limousine waited outside along with the chauffeur and you rushed in from the mansion being secured and locked behind you with not a single piece of luggage on you. Terry made sure everything you needed was already transported by his men. All you carried into the parked vehicle with you as you scooted next to him on the leather backseat was a warm plate covered with a napkin as the last bit of cookery the workers didn't load in previously, catching your breath as you closed the door behind you shut.

Taking one last look at your colossal Mayan temple of a house.

There was no Margaret. No Milos. No Snake. No Dennis.

The stony courtyard stood empty.

-"What's this?"-

Terry pointed his nose at the China in your lap. You weren't moving to the surface of Mars. He made that clear multiple times. Everything you ever needed he'd replace and buy again by the tenfold. He'd make things anew. Better. -"The last thing I cooked in our old home. A sort of goodbye."- You explain as the limousine moved forward and the secured iron gate and its walls started moving with it, disappearing behind you and into the dusky streets of Glendower Avenue. -"Sentimental."- Terry chuckled, peppering the ash of his cigar into a nearby crystal ashtray. He told you he'd quit soon. It was falling out of fashion, he explained. It was like he had a third eye capable of predicting these things. If you don't change, he said, you die. You remove the napkin covering the plate, revealing what you were busy tinkering with this last day here. You were pretty certain the manor still had the scent of sweets lingering in the air when you left. The idea of that made you feel a certain way, even though Terry told you, with as much firmness as you remember him having, that one day, he'll avenge himself and everything he was giving up now. Weirdest thing was, you entirely believed him. -"Apple cake and honey. You know? For Rosh Hashanah."- You explain carefully, finding his eyes stilling in the darkness of the car until he wasn't blinking anymore, perfectly calm as the chauffeur in the front turned left. -"For you. Before we settle into our new place and celebrate properly."- You add once he says nothing, observing you and your offerings, cigar in hand, suited up, insisting he leave this place in grand style. You gulp, feeling a bit nervous, fidgeting where you sat. His expression perfectly cool. You talked about religion before. First time you decided to do something like this for him.

He needed that, you felt.

After everything.

-"Are you upset? You seem upset."-

-"For the most talked about man in the country, huh? Perfect."-

His mouth melts upward slowly, into a smile, until his teeth are on full display.

-"For the most talked about man in the country, yes."-

You repeat with a chuckle of your own, relieved, offering him a dessert from your plated entree. He sets down his cigar, affixing his cufflinks, taking one and bringing it up to his nostrils, inhaling the scent. His gaze meeting yours, hooded, from under his brows. His eyes were smiling too. -"I won, you know. I always win."- Terry practically purrs. You adjust yourself in your seat, finally finding a comfortable place, shaking your head, slightly confused. He dips the slice of apple into the tiny, honey filled glass container, never separating his stare from you. You follow suit, taking a slice yourself. -"What do you mean?"- You ask, scooting closer. -"They indicted me five times this year. That's four times more than last year."- He's all emotive and energy, even as he chews with distinction to the point where it was hard to pinpoint if Terry felt beleaguered by the fact, or entirely proud. Knowing him, you'd guess proud. -"Then there's Dynatox."- He adds, his mirth fading into something more serious until he becomes distant for but a moment. You knew how much that company meant to him. -"Cobra Kai. John."- He includes, holding your eyes with a peculiar sort of fierceness. The fallout with John too. If anything, you knew that part possibly hurt him more than what was going on with Dynatox. -"But, here you are, huh --- all cookies and cream for me on the Day of Repentance."- You lower your head, oddly humbled and bashful. The honey symbolized and alluded to a sweet beginning of a New Year and you hoped for just that, for you --- for him. You just wanted things to be alright again, nearly gasping when you felt his finger under your chin, lifting your face up to look at him, Griffith Park bypassing you through the tinted windows. It was the end of an era; the least you could do is commemorate it, even if it was on the backseat of a limo.

-"Terry..."-

You whisper, flattered, watching him reach for the minibar, producing a bottle.

A pair of glasses. Pouring you and him a glass of white wine each.

Handing you yours, grinning from ear to ear.

-"Baby, that smells like winning to me."-

He declares, throwing his arm around you, clinking glasses.

Dipping another slice of apple cake into honey.

[x-authorship-x]

"I'll die on the hill that Anakin should have been punted into the creche for a few years"

Yes! I'm so glad you agree, I wish more fics had him interacting with his agemates and being in the creche would have been good for him I think. Perhaps I'm giving him too much credit, and I've only watched those movies once and base the rest of what I know on what I get from fanfics so I could be wrong, but my read of that meeting was that Qui-Gon had intended that? He said he'll train Anakin, but 1. he had a padawan still, and 2. Anakin was 9?? That seems super, super young to be a padawan. I always found it really weird in fics that he had wanted to take Anakin on so young, and then I watched the movie and ended up finding it really weird that the council and Obi-Wan just assumed Qui-Gon meant he'd start training Anakin right then and there and toss out Obi-Wan. Why would he, that makes no sense and he never said he'd take Anakin as a padawan right then like I thought he had from fics. It seemed more to me like it was a promise or vow type thing, like he'd train Anakin when the time came so they didn't have to worry about trying to find someone who would train an unorthodox padawan. And then everyone immediately thought the worst of him so he stupidly doubled down and did not make any attempt to correct their miscommunication. From what little I know about Qui-Gon and his relationship with Obi-Wan there seemed to be a good amount of miscommunication, so this made the most sense to me that he'd be stubborn and double down when arguing with the council rather than explaining what he meant. So when he died Obi-Wan had no idea what he meant and went with what he though Qui-Gon meant and insisted Anakin be placed with him right then and there. Nevermind that he was grieving and Anakin was super baby for a padawan, honestly I'm going to blame the council here for not stepping in and saying Anakin would go to the creche for a few years, then Obi-Wan could have him. Idk I'm not even a huge fan of Qui-Gon and honestly don't know much about him, but in this case this is what seemed most likely to me when I watched it.

Oh anon I totally agree

Tbh my mind went forwards and I was thinking more.... Anakin in the creche could've fixed a lot. Like... Anakin made his own (shit) decisions, I'm definitely not an Anakin-apologist, but I do think that no one is born a certain thing and that childhood has a big knock-on effect. Putting Anakin in the creche would make transitioning from life as a slave easier, for one??? Like let's not immediately call someone else 'master' and let's socialise the kid and let's get an actual childcare specialist - not a traumatized grieving ex-padawan-turned-Knight oh my God everyone needs therapy good intentions don't automatically guarantee good outcomes - involved.

I'm not saying Kelleran Beq looks like the kinda man to rehab hurt children on the daily basis but that's exactly what I'm saying. God I love that man and his Grogu chase scene. Is Grogu in the creche yet or am I too early??? Who cares, I think Grogu would be so good for Anakin because can you imagine being the so called Chosen One but shown up by a baby. You can't fight a baby, not even Anakin (not yet rip) so you gotta just take the ego trimming and cope.

Get Anakin to learn to read and write and acclimatize, let Obi-Wan have time to establish himself as an individual, let everyone take a chill pill, and maybe the whole cast will feel better in three or four years 🙃 also this helps solve Anakin's INTENSE only child energy because Chosen One shit doesn't mean crap in the creche, being a freed slave probably isn't uncommon when you look at how a lot of force sensitive kids end up at the temple (every Jedi comes with a built in troubling backstory as standard), Anakin has friends and peers to cut his teeth on and learn patience with and how to check boundaries with and you just KNOW that those creche kids have so many lessons on Stranger Danger-!

qui-gon the future we couldve had if you choked out a few more words lmao

Also I like to imagine that anakin's first language is Huttese and he only knows enough Basic to understand customers and Watto etc so in my mind the council meeting SHOULDVE derailed when Anakin can't understand a word they're saying and the whole timeline careens towards 'lets get this freed child slave his vaccines and a primary school teacher before deciding the words of destiny, yes?'

Qui-Gon: *finally asks something not related to customer service, basic conversational vocab, or mechanics*

Anakin: ....uhhhhhhh

Qui-Gon, off camera: I was so lost in the euphoria of finding the Chosen One that I temporarily forgot I existed in a world with slavery and other languages haha-

Obi-Wan: *face down in a dune in the BG*

The end :)

[tybaltsjuliet]

1, 3, 19

01. the character everyone gets wrong

sandy from grease and i will die on this hill. “oh, sandy changed herself for a man-” and danny was trying to change himself for a woman, but people only remember sandy doing it because of the leather pants!

what i think people tend to ignore, or miss, is that by the point of the “sandra dee” reprise, sandy is not happy. like, even if you are willing to accept that sandy *was* happy as the good girl, once - and i fully am willing to accept that; i do not think a fondness for cheerleading and pastels speaks to a void in her soul - by that time, she is not! and it is not just because of danny being kind of a dick to her. there’s a *reason* sandy’s change starts with a reprise of rizzo’s song that was mocking her, and it is because pretty much everyone, bar frenchy, is a dick to her. (i feel like this is a little less apparent in the movie, but in the original production, the t-birds are right there cackling along with rizzo during “look at me, i’m sandra dee,” and even patty simcox gets catty about sandy behind her back!)

so, by this point, sandy is alienated, and lonely, and an object of mockery, and she wants things to be *different*. here’s another point that got home better onstage than in the movie, in my opinion - because, originally, the “sandra dee” reprise comes RIGHT ON THE HEELS of “there are worse things i can do” - and rizzo sings that song, not alone after sandy walks off, but directly *to* sandy. just before the song, rizzo snaps at her, “now wait just a minute, miss goody-goody! who do you think you are? handing me all this sympathy trash! since you know all the answers, how come i didn’t see zuko here tonight?” and all this after sandy has done nothing but show riz a little kindness and sympathy over her situation, and try to remind her that she does not have to go through it alone.

being a good girl, a nice girl, has gotten sandy nothing and nowhere, with anyone, for the whole two hours’ traffic of our stage. who can really blame her for wanting to change?

now, obviously, this is all pretty watsonian, and sandy is one of those characters where there’s tons of great discussion to be had about the ways misogyny *does* influence the way her story is presented. but there are a lot of other interesting things to unpack in her, too, and it frustrates me that everyone just stops at the most obvious part.

03. screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

gods, just one?! mentally rifling through the disney princess takes alone has already exhausted me. that said, i might have to hand it to one of the particularly devoted ambassadors of this website’s jedi defense squad, who insisted that the jedi were A Beautiful Culture requiring no reform whatsoever, and A Wonderful Found Family to the children they brought up, and Committed No Mistakes.

like, come on, now. even if i leave all my personal religious baggage at the door, there are nine movies and a massive extended universe because THE JEDI FREQUENTLY COMMIT MISTAKES. anakin skywalker was not an inherently rancid nine-year-old; he was a case study among many on why the jedi needed fixing!

19. you’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…

i’m kind of mad that i still like frozen as much as i do. it wounds my pride in otherwise being the haughty and pretentious flavor of disney adult.

i’m not mad that i am properly getting into ASOIAF, because i am loving these books. i *am* mad that the only reason i first put on my clown shoes and walked all the way to westeros in them is because rhys ifans hot. it’s almost as embarrassing as the number of times i’ve watched anonymous.

but the really embarrassing skeleton in my closet is that i have written more pages of HP drawerfic since i started listening to the shrieking shack podcast than i wrote any fic for it at the height of the fandom way back in ye olde FFN/livejournal days. and that’s terrible.