#there are more art posts coming but this is the most recent art
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amyoffline · 2 days ago
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In Defense of the Phandom (Mostly): Dan, Phil, and Our Parasocial Social Club
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Refer to my previous pinned post for an explanation of and outline for this project. Now that I'm done going through my old reblogs (god, it took forever), it's time to actually research and write this script! Finally, my favorite part of any project. This will be my pinned post for the foreseeable future, so you can come back to by clicking on my blog for the current status of this part of the process. There will be a similar post for filming and editing once I get to that point, but for now, you can glance at how "full" the bar below each section is for a quick idea of where the script is. Or you can expand the post to see more details.
Script word count: 2,350 | Last updated: January 9, 2025
Research
Peer-reviewed or published literature: ⚫︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎ Social media, forum archives, and fanwork: ⚫︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎ The great rewatch: ⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎ Discussions with other phannies (hey! that could be you, if you want!): ⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎
Writing
Introduction, background, and conclusion sections: ⚫︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎ 2009-2013: ⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎ 2014-2018: ⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎ 2019-2025: ⚫︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎ Long tangents (fandom, RPF, and PSIs/PSRs): ⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎ Editing: ⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎⚪︎
More details below the cut!
Research → peer reviewed or published literature:
I read a few things (like Haidt's The Anxious Generation) while I was in the process of searching academic databases, but most of the 403 works I have saved to Zotero for this are currently unread. They're not all the same length or will take the same amount of time to read, so the completion proportion is just getting updated based on vibes. I'm absolutely not referencing all 403 of these things in the script - I just cast a wide net for materials I thought might be relevant. Furthermore, there are some things I didn't save that I know I'll be referencing, like some of the Pew Research Center's work in the early to mid 2010s on teenagers and technology, or the journalistic coverage of what got my school district in huge trouble in 2011.
Research → Social media and forum archives:
The collection of posts, art, and fic (other than mine) to reference in the video. For regular posts and art, especially by people who have long since abandoned their accounts or whose content went pretty viral, I feel comfortable just showing things in the video with credit as examples. For fic, I intend to just discuss trends more broadly and vaguely since, as a fic writer myself, I know we tend to get more flack and less acclaim for our work and therefore prefer to stay out of the spotlight. Let me know if you think I should handle this differently - the academic impulse is to credit sources and reproducible searches for every single thing you do, but that's definitely not best practice for phandom history since we have so much "forbidden" lore. I'll also be reading the IDB forum front-to-back, listening to things like the phandom podcast, reading the current generation of phanzines, and looking at recent (and historical, if anyone has any) surveys done of phannies within the community. I'm assuming those folks would appreciate credit and/or a shoutout.
Research → The great rewatch:
Rewatching everything DNP-related so I can talk about it from more recent memory (and read what's left of the original comments for DNP videos that are still up at their original locations). I know there's a playlist for this but I also know it's incomplete, so I have been doing some poking around myself and will probably continue to.
Research → Discussions with other phannies:
I read a few things (like Haidt's The Anxious Generation) while I was in the process of searching academic databases, but most of the 403 works I have saved to Zotero for this are currently unread. They're not all the same length or will take the same amount of time to read, so the completion proportion is just getting updated based on vibes. I'm absolutely not referencing all 403 of these things in the script - I just cast a wide net for materials I thought might be relevant. Furthermore, there are some things I didn't save that I know I'll be referencing, like some of the Pew Research Center's work in the early to mid 2010s on teenagers and technology, or the journalistic coverage of what got my school district in huge trouble in 2011. The first task is to sort that whole Zotero collection into more manageable sub-collections (on PSR on PSIs, on mental health, on YouTube platform history, etc), which is what I'm currently working on.
Writing → Introduction, background, and conclusion sections
See old pinned post for the outline. Will expand details here once research is mostly done (I plan to read and watch everything in the research section aside from talking to other phannies, then complete the script's rough draft, then talk to others on call, then integrate that with and finalize the script).
Writing → 2009-2013
See above.
Writing → 2014-2018
See above.
Writing → 2019-2025
See above.
Writing → Long tangents (fandom, RPF, and PSRs/PSIs)
See above. These tangents are kind of mini video essays in and olf themselves, so I may write them while I'm reading through my saved stuff in Zotero and before I rewatch all the DNP videos.
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eyes-of-the-rave · 7 months ago
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trying to actually post more of my art so here's a place to start
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decided to use my girl áine as a way to get out of an art slump and try and help with my frustration with my art
was trying out a new way of coloring, i still like it but i'm not entirely sure how i feel about it
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necrotic-nephilim · 6 months ago
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I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.
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batman (1940) #618
And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.
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batman (1940) #650
It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?
When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.
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rayjayoo · 1 year ago
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[ trips and falls down the stairs ]
hello i come bearing phos doodles o(-(
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rolandkaros · 5 months ago
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forever hilarious to me that tennis is promoted as this prestigious highbrow big-brain sport when most tennis fans these days are like. yeah this is my favorite player. yeah i don't know why they're like that. yes they are stupid. no i will not choose somebody else.
#wta tennis#atp tennis#i feel like the era of...shall we say 'federer-esque' players is waning#which i think can in part be related to the loss of the one-handed-backhand#as the sport moves more toward a necessity for fitness and athleticism players do not put as much emphasis on 'art'#which imo is fine! i think the 'art' of tennis is too protected in some ways. which i maybe will expand on later.#but i think it's too much for the tags of a (mostly) silly post#but yeah you can hear a lot of commentators touch on it#i know nadal even said something abt it recently(ish)#but i think as tennis is gradually less associated with this abstract 'image' (e.g. the obsession with federer's 'grace' and 'class')#players are coming in thinking 'this is a physical battle and i am going to win' and very much leaning into the *competition*#which not to say that they're ignoring/denying the mental aspects at all because i actually do think many players are very strategic/aware#and in truth i think many tennis players ARE actually very smart#but i also think it's less apparent because more and more players are able to just hit the shit out of the ball and call it a day#which leaves you with the occasional shot/point/game/set/match etc where it seems like they don't know what the fuck they're doing#but you think about most sports which evolve in phases#it's very normal for certain player profiles to become more or less popular as the landscape of the sport changes#or as new techniques/strategies are developed#or as new communities/populations become interested!#extreme example but think of like. high jump's fosbury flop. that was one guy!#one guy who changed the entire fucking sport! so it makes perfect sense that tennis is continuing to evolve#given how many unique players have come and gone#and how much the sport is changing externally as well as internally#anyways. this got out of hand but i love sports and i love tennis and i love my brainless players.#this whole post was inspired by rewatching sabalenka v boulter and aryna completely missed an overhead by like five feet. lol#love her <3
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rainofthetwilight · 1 year ago
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have been seeing this going around so i decided to make my own!!
(just a disclaimer i havent rewatched some of the seasons in a while so i did this according to what i remember)
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flowerakatsuka · 5 months ago
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kept on thinking about some of the more emotional beats of the kurokara lore while i was trying to fall asleep last night and i just... i need to explode...
#i was mostly thinking about the whole other side to osomatsu-san in hell where kuroba's trying to navigate their grief#there's a moment where kuroba's getting their usual weekly shipment of flowers and they realize they forgot ->#to change the quantity of red roses they always order ( they started ordering extra after kara became a regular )#for the most part they've been able to navigate things seemingly well. sure they've been more melancholic but they SEEM alright#and they try to handle this moment well too. makes a joke about how they're gonna have to have a sale on rose arrangements for a bit#but then they just. kinda break down crying. he's still everywhere despite not being there and it's so crushing.#kuro finally understands how their granddad must've felt when their grandma passed away....#there's a more lighthearted follow up to that moment tho#basically the delivery driver makes sure the quantity of roses is correct ( it's the same was before )#but kuro cheerfully tells them that the person they order them for is a regular again so it's alright#after that the delivery driver tells them that they're glad they made up with their boyfriend#when kuro's like excuse me??? they say '' you get the roses for the guy in the leather jacket right? i see him come in sometimes ->#after i finish deliveries but i hadn't seen around recently. glad things worked out for you yotsubana. :) ''#and then they leave before kuroba can clarify things. rip.#i'm going out for a bit but once i get back i NEED to finish the art for the first kurokara lore post i was working on#ship : kurokara#mj rambles
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farpcomic · 1 year ago
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CHAPTER ONE
PAGES 1-5 ?!
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ignore the numbering on the pages we can't count...
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plantenjoyer · 5 months ago
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I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS
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#this has been happening for like TWO YEARS BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TRYING.#my usual art motivation (my webcomic idea) has been put on hold for a bit and because of that i forgort... everything#my will to draw specifically#but in my defense i have been writing k*arlach / oc indulgences and i've been VERY focused on finishing it#i also got a marketing manager (my friend <3) to help with advertising my comms and stuff so uh... look forward 2 that#i might need to start posting all of my art on a sideblog so she doesn't have to log into my main though#so there might be some changes#but i promise i want to do art!!!! but there's always something to do first and then months pass :(#or i get the urge to draw and then life is like ''have a cancer scare'' lmao...#(ended up being cancerous actually </3 but because it's skin stuff it was easy to remove)#(but that really took the piss out of me for most of july... not to mention that ffxiv released a new expansion and i have been...#having a good time with my new friends doing content and stuff!) i also made a friend irl after like 3-4 years of total isolation#we feed ants and watch them move around together and comment on their behaviour patterns...#but like when i say this takes literal hours.#we just sit out there and talk about random shit and watch ants walk across the floor. both of us hate ants btw.#like we don't like having them ON us so it's a bit like playing with fire.#but anyways yeah i've also been really low energy recently too bc of the heat and burnout from college...#but the good news is that i'm transferring in fall to a much more relaxing college & courseload!#i'm hoping it'll stop me from feeling so... awful ?? i guess ??#like i was taking classes i didn't need to that were really difficult & punishing#not to mention extremely boring & hard to pay attention to when dealing with literally anything. i did not want to be there.#my next college is much more interest-oriented so i will finally be able to take classes i want to and learn from them...!#and then maybe i will feel a bit more in control of my life / more encouraged to draw#anyways thank u for reading my ramble. hoping it all comes together soon.#i need to do a lot of work but most of it is so i can sell commissions again#but once the karlach fic is done we're so back on the webcomic train !!!!!!!!
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arolesbianism · 9 months ago
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Some stuff I've drawn semi recently
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#furry#furry oc#furry art#Ive been going thru it recently but Ill survive#on the bright side the pet sitting job for my aunt is coming up soon#so Ill have a house to myself for a bit at least#Im probably still gonna be fairly offline for the foreseeable future unless I somehow manage to fix my sleep schedule anytime soon#not to say I will be on any sorta complete hiatus or anything just that Im not getting any more active most likely#not that I think anyone rly cares at this point since its been the norm for a while now but yknow#Ill still be around to answer asks and stuff just dont freak out if I take a lil bit to see it 👍#anyways enough of being a downer Im actually pretty happy with these even if theyre mostly just doodles#also I havent posted any art of these guys in a While but say hi to them while you can cause theyre back into the void of my brain now#first is keese (the oc™) second is toon and third is clyve#all from different stories but toon and clyve are both from the magic cat universe#their paths never meet tho the closest connection they have has to go through like 4 characters first#you can also tell theyre from different stories because one is anthro and the other isnt lol#generally speaking I consider anthro designs slightly more canon but both are canon depending on the story#not in a shapeshifting way just in a me being an inconsistent bitch sorta way#but yeah keese the oc is much older than either of those two I just dont talk abt them or their story ever#but hey if any of yall remember suckerz those two are besties#suckerz is sort of younger than the other two and sort of much older than all three#shes a sort of updated version of a reallyyyy old sona sort of character I had in like 6th grade I think#back during my lilo and stitch experiment oc era where I had one that was music themed#I also had a digimon variant of her she was called like beatramon or smth like that#she was basically a hypothetical music mascot and shes kind of still that tbh#if I ever get enough into making music that I start posting shit it will be my music mascot
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sundial-bee-scribbles · 1 year ago
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redraw of this thing
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arielluva · 11 months ago
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i don't get those people that are like "uooouu i dont draw people of x race bc idk how to draw them :(((" like. enough with the excuses, thats when you get on the internet and start looking at the literal millions of photos at your disposal!! i am drawing my ocs rn as if they were real people and it is so so fun to look at different people and figure out what makes them look the way they do, and what makes them look different from other people. it is so fun to draw different face shapes, different eyes, noses, mouths, etc. IT'S FUN TO DRAW OTHER PEOPLE!!!
if you can only draw white people i promise you that it is not hard to learn how to draw people of other races. doing it will ultimately be so helpful for your artistic growth and character design in the future. don't be scared of what you don't know how to draw, and instead go forwards to draw new things!! this also applies to different ages and body types as well. if you only draw skinny 20-somethings, then branch out a bit!! it's fine to stick to only one thing, but its also good to experiment and learn something new. draw old people!! draw fat people!! draw disabled people!! draw fat, old, disabled people!! fill up your mental library with so much reference and it will help so much i promise you
put some enrichment in your enclosure and get some variety!!!!
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munch-mumbles · 1 year ago
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urge to redraw old pics to feel better about my current art abilities and progress vs fear of looking at my older art.... GOUUUGH
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lord-shitbox · 2 years ago
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Beating Hollow Knight Steel Soul: A Guide
part 1: general tips!
if you're about to die hit esc/pause and quit to menu
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ai-art-thieves · 5 months ago
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It's Time To Investigate SevenArt.ai
sevenart.ai is a website that uses ai to generate images.
Except, that's not all it can do.
It can also overlay ai filters onto images to create the illusion that the algorithm created these images.
And its primary image source is Tumblr.
It scrapes through the site for recent images that are at least 10 days old and has some notes attached to it, as well as copying the tags to make the unsuspecting user think that the post was from a genuine user.
No image is safe. Art, photography, screenshots, you name it.
Initially I thought that these are bots that just repost images from their site as well as bastardizations of pictures across tumblr, until a user by the name of @nataliedecorsair discovered that these "bots" can also block users and restrict replies.
Not only that, but these bots do not procreate and multiply like most bots do. Or at least, they have.
The following are the list of bots that have been found on this very site. Brace yourself. It's gonna be a long one:
@giannaaziz1998blog
@kennedyvietor1978blog
@nikb0mh6bl
@z4uu8shm37
@xguniedhmn
@katherinrubino1958blog
@3neonnightlifenostalgiablog
@cyberneticcreations58blog
@neomasteinbrink1971blog
@etharetherford1958blog
@punxajfqz1
@camicranfill1967blog
@1stellarluminousechoblog
@whwsd1wrof
@bnlvi0rsmj
@steampunkstarshipsafari90blog
@surrealistictechtales17blog
@2steampunksavvysiren37blog
@krispycrowntree
@voucwjryey
@luciaaleem1961blog
@qcmpdwv9ts
@2mplexltw6
@sz1uwxthzi
@laurenesmock1972blog
@rosalinetritsch1992blog
@chereesteinkirchner1950blog
@malindamadaras1996blog
@1cyberneticdreamscapehubblog
@neomasteinbrink1971blog
@neonfuturecityblog
@olindagunner1986blog
@neonnomadnirvanablog
@digitalcyborgquestblog
@freespiritfusionblog
@piacarriveau1990blog
@3technoartisticvisionsblog
@wanderlustwineblissblog
@oyqjfwb9nz
@maryannamarkus1983blog
@lashelldowhower2000blog
@ovibigrqrw
@3neonnightlifenostalgiablog
@ywldujyr6b
@giannaaziz1998blog
@yudacquel1961blog
@neotechcreationsblog
@wildernesswonderquest87blog
@cybertroncosmicflow93blog
@emeldaplessner1996blog
@neuralnetworkgallery78blog
@dunstanrohrich1957blog
@juanitazunino1965blog
@natoshaereaux1970blog
@aienhancedaestheticsblog
@techtrendytreks48blog
@cgvlrktikf
@digitaldimensiondioramablog
@pixelpaintedpanorama91blog
@futuristiccowboyshark
@digitaldreamscapevisionsblog
@janishoppin1950blog
The oldest ones have been created in March, started scraping in June/July, and later additions to the family have been created in July.
So, I have come to the conclusion that these accounts might be run by a combination of bot and human. Cyborg, if you will.
But it still doesn't answer my main question:
Who is running the whole operation?
The site itself gave us zero answers to work with.
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No copyright, no link to the engine where the site is being used on, except for the sign in thingy (which I did.)
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I gave the site a fake email and a shitty password.
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Turns out it doesn't function like most sites that ask for an email and password.
Didn't check the burner email, the password isn't fully dotted and available for the whole world to see, and, and this is the important thing...
My browser didn't detect that this was an email and password thingy.
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And there was no log off feature.
This could mean two things.
Either we have a site that doesn't have a functioning email and password database, or that we have a bunch of gullible people throwing their email and password in for people to potentially steal.
I can't confirm or deny these facts, because, again, the site has little to work with.
The code? Generic as all hell.
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Tried searching for more information about this site, like the server it's on, or who owned the site, or something. ANYTHING.
Multiple sites pulled me in different directions. One site said it originates in Iceland. Others say its in California or Canada.
Luckily, the server it used was the same. Its powered by Cloudflare.
Unfortunately, I have no idea what to do with any of this information.
If you have any further information about this site, let me know.
Until there is a clear answer, we need to keep doing what we are doing.
Spread the word and report about these cretins.
If they want attention, then they are gonna get the worst attention.
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too-deviant · 8 months ago
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strategic manoeuvre.
— WITH…ART DONALDSON!
contains...babysitter!reader, age gap, 18+ MDNI, art cheats w reader but it is lowkey implied that tashi planned the whole thing, car sex, semi-public sex, head (f receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, inspired by this post from @traumatrios
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You had never been interested in tennis before Art. 
You weren’t interested in sports at all, really — you just wanted to buckle down and focus on your college work, earn some money with an easy part-time job. You didn’t have time to follow sports, or anything else. 
But then you got a call. You had been in the middle of a lecture when your phone buzzed against your notebook, a California number shining up at you and enticing you to pick up. Normally you would’ve let it go to voicemail, but you had recently gone around some of the fancier hotels in your city with flyers, asking for babysitting jobs and posting your number, so you excused yourself with a wave and took the call in the hallway. 
You didn’t know who Tashi Donaldson was when she introduced herself, but the hotel she’d asked you to come to later that night was fancy enough that you didn’t question it. You had done an extensive google search afterwards, of course, but simply raised an impressed brow at her repertoire. 
Then you met Art, her tennis player husband and the father of the lovely little girl you would be taking care of, and suddenly you were pretty interested in tennis. 
It started when Lily had a bad nightmare and you couldn’t get her down — well, it started when you met the guy, palm sweaty in his own as he introduced himself, but it didn’t really start until you had to put one of his old games on the TV for the girl to watch until she fell asleep at your side, tear tracks from her bad dream dry on her cheeks. 
You had been planning on carrying her back to her bed when she was down for the count, but you had been so fixated on Art’s movements; his determined look, his arms, his legs, that you ended up dropping out too. You woke up a few hours later with a blanket over your body and Art standing quietly at the kitchen island behind the sofa. 
“You looked peaceful. Didn't wanna wake you.” He’d said, sipping at his tea, and you knew you were done for. 
Now all of a sudden you had time to watch a tennis match in the morning, play one as background noise while you studied. You had started following his tennis journey right from the Junior Open in 2006 — you didn’t think you'd ever actually see him again, but you could fantasise about it whenever you remembered the smell of his cologne as he thanked you for taking care of Lily, promising a big tip would go straight into your account in the morning. 
(The money went in fifteen minutes after you’d left).
It came as a pleasant surprise when Tashi’s number popped up on your screen once more, a few months later. You had been in your kitchen, and took the call the moment you recognised the digits. 
“We’re a little ways out of town.” She’d said, “But Lily raved about you for days after last time, and we know you better than a stranger. If you can’t make it out here, don’t worry, but we still wanted to try our luck.”
We she’d said. As in her and Art. 
You cursed yourself for lusting after a married man in the uber to the hotel. 
From then on out, you became their primary babysitter. Since they travelled a lot, and Tashi’s mom was with them most of the time, you only really sat for them once every couple of months. The town you lived in was sunny and had a huge private sports centre for professional athletes — a fact you weren’t aware of until Art told you over a cup of tea — so they always came back. You were glad you could count on them coming back — it was like magic, the way your phone lit up with Tashi’s now saved contact whenever the late night bingeing of matches and interviews stopped fueling your infatuation. 
The guilt was almost enough to make you ignore it, say you were busy or just get a new number all together. But you never did. As much as you knew it was wrong, you always dropped what you were doing and drove to that cushy hotel where the receptionist knew your face and let you in with a smile. You travelled that same memorised route to the master suite, knocked on the door and made sure you were standing far enough away from the peep hole that you didn’t look weird and distorted when Art would look through before letting you in. 
It was always Art now. Tashi had greeted you a few times but lately it had always been him — a sick part of you thought she might’ve known about your crush on him, played with it for fun because she couldn’t play tennis anymore. But that was crazy, and you really needed to sort yourself out. 
You would greet him with a smile, push through the small talk, lean up against the kitchen island and watch his shirt stretch around the planes of his back as he made you coffee (On those unlucky days he would be wearing a shirt. Sometimes he would be just done with warm ups and physio and would answer the door half naked and covered in sweat. Those were the good days). Then Lily would come running at you from her room, hug you around your waist and pull you in to play; Art would laugh and grin at you, sliding the coffee cup in your direction and holding your eyes before heading to his room to get ready. 
You would be knee deep in headless barbies and chewed up polly pocket clothes when he and would return, dressed up and ready to go. He would lean down, kiss Lily on the forehead, and press his hand to your back in a silent goodbye. Then he would leave, and you would spend the whole day trying to pull yourself together. 
He was married. He was ten years older than you. He had a child, and was paying you to look after her. 
But he always made you coffee when you arrived — just how you liked it because he remembered. He always checked in on you, asked you how your life was while you nursed the mug that was warm from the beverage and his hands. He would tell Lily to behave for you because We like her, and we don’t want to scare her off. He would let his land linger on your back half a second longer every single time he left. 
But.
But Tashi was the one who would call you. She was the one who made you coffee the first time, told you it was the least they could do for you. She would walk out of her room with Art, smile at you and tell you how beautiful you look in that shirt. She would grin at you before leaving, waiting patiently by the door for her husband to take his hand off your back. 
You were evil. Truly. The guy was married. 
But as evil as you were, you always made sure there was an old game of his playing on the TV when they would return — because then Art would prompt you to stay and listen to him talk about it. And you would have an excuse to lean up against that island and watch him make tea while Tashi excused herself to bed. Hours would pass before he was checking his watch and hissing out an apology for keeping you so late, and then letting you leave. 
The first couple of times he’d simply make sure you got in your uber safely. Then he started calling cars himself, the same ones that would drive him and his family to and from matches, press events. The same sort of service celebrites used, not their babysitters. You didn’t mind — it was a thrill, listening to him ask the person behind the wheel to make sure you got back safely.
(The bar was under the court at this point, but at least you were aware of that).
But tonight was different. In more ways than one. 
In the beginning, all was the same. You were left sitting on the plush carpet of Lily’s room surrounded by lego pieces, a burning in your gut and guilt in your heart. You played doctor, you made dinner, ordered room service after her relentless begging, put on a movie, carried her sleeping form to bed, came back and watched Art play tennis until he returned. 
You had started to run out of games to watch, ones you hadn’t already seen, so settled for an old game from 2006. He was playing against his old partner, Patrick something, and you wondered where the lesser known second half of Fire and Ice had disappeared to after that night. 
Then Art came back, Tashi right behind him, and you smiled at them both over the back of the sofa. Tashi watched the game, something unfamiliar glinting in her irises, before blinking back at Art, “I’m going to bed.”
He responded a little slower, kissing her goodnight and looking back at you, “Tea? This game was one of my most memorable.”
“Even though you lost?” You teased, leaning against the marble. 
He paused, looking back at you. He blinked, “Yeah.”
You drank your tea. You pretended like you weren’t full of shame for standing that inch closer to him. You let him talk until he had nothing left to talk about, and watched him check his watch. You waited for him to pick up the phone and call the car — only he paused by the phone, hand floating just before it, and retracted his steps to the kitchen, “I’m gonna drive you back, if it’s not too much trouble. Saves waking up my driver.”
“Oh.” Your fingers twitched, and you told them to stop. “Sure, of course.” 
Art’s car wasn’t what you had expected. Thinking back on it, he didn’t seem like the sports car type, but his status and riches led you to assume you were about to get into one of the two seats in his Bugatti — you didn’t. The black jeep was expensive enough for someone like him, but close enough to home that you didn’t feel like an outsider climbing into the passenger seat.  
The drive wasn’t all that far — twenty minutes both ways, so Art would’ve been back before Tashi fell asleep if he hadn't pulled into a parking lot five minutes out. 
Your lips parted, eyes following his hands as they slid slowly off the wheel and into his thighs. His chest rose with a deep breath and his jaw constricted when he swallowed. Then he was looking at you, eyes piercing. 
“Lily likes you.”
You were unsure, feet shifting beneath you, the sound encasing the silence of the space and forcing you to stop and blink, “I’m glad. I like her.” 
“Tashi likes you.” 
You weren’t too positive that she would like you if she could feel how you were feeling now — that all too familiar heartbeat pulsing between your legs with every one of Art’s breaths. 
“I like you.” He finished, tilting his head until his temple rested softly on the headrest of his seat. His smile was almost taunting when he undid his seatbelt, “Which is your favourite?”
“What?”
“The games.” He clarified, knowing his question was too broad and that you would have to ask, “The ones you watch every time you’re over. The ones I assume you watch even when you aren’t sitting for us. My games. Which is your favourite?” 
“Oh. Um —“ Slightly distracted by the way he shed his jacket, dumping it in the backseat. He’d lent all the way forward to take it off and his eyes didn’t leave yours once. “I don’t know.” 
“The one you were watching tonight.” He asked then, “What’d you think of it? Honestly.” 
“Honestly?” You swallowed, mortified that you were even entertaining this, “You looked a little distracted.” 
He huffed a laugh, finally looking away and letting you breathe. It didn’t last long, because he was then getting out of the car and rounding the front of it. 
The breeze was cool when it hit you, Art blocking most of it from where he stood in the gap. His hand was still on the handle, but you were busy unbuckling your own seatbelt — the message had been received, you had crossed a line and he was kicking you out of his car. 
But when you turned, legs swinging carefully into the cold, his hand on your knee stopped you from really getting out. Your eyes snapped up to his, and you realised you had been caged — with one hand on the door and one hand on you, Art Donaldson had you right where you had been dreaming of him having you. It felt surreal. 
“My opponent. In the game from tonight.” He breathed, glancing around casually like you were having one of your simple conversations over tea. “He slept with my wife.”
Out of all the things… 
“What?” Your eyes darted between his, but the rest of your body otherwise remained still. Even when his hand on your knee travelled upwards. 
“He’d slept with her before. In college. We weren’t together then.” He was now watching his hand move, like he wasn’t the one moving it, “But then he slept with her again, in Atlanta. After I’d already married her.”
“Wow.” You breathed, mainly because it was the easiest word you could slide out of your mouth whilst holding your breath. His fingers reached your thigh, begged to dip between them. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He was quick to respond. Your legs parted on instinct, and at this point you had surrendered to being an awful person — although maybe you’d fallen asleep on the couch and this was all a dream. You didn’t think you’d be able to face Art if it was. You couldn’t even face him now. 
He took the newfound space for granted, stepping between your legs and holding them open with his body. His hand on the door followed him, taking its new place on your other leg. He rubbed up and down your thighs, but you couldn’t look away from his face. 
“I don’t want you watching him play.” He spoke lowly, tracing his fingertips around your waistband, “I’ve seen enough of his games.”
“Okay.” You didn’t hesitate to let out, swallowing the hungered saliva that had built up in your mouth. 
He unbuttoned your jeans, pulled the zipper down — painstakingly slow, but it allowed you time to brace your hands on the seat and the dashboard so you could raise your hips and let him slide them off you. 
You were stuck in your head, but Art didn’t seem to notice since he was too busy folding your jeans and hanging them over the open car door. You dared question it through a heavy breath but he just moved on to your panties, throwing them precariously on the dashboard and exposing your glittering cunt to his bright eyes. 
“We shouldn’t —“ It was a half-assed attempt at reconciling with your guilt, but the fact that you were half naked and spread eagle made it lose its meaning. 
Art shushed you, kneeling down so he was looking at your pussy, “We can, and we will.” Then he glanced back at you, brow arched, “Unless you don’t want to.”
Any sense of rationale had fucked off when he put his hand on your leg, so you swallowed and said, “I want to.”
He wasted no time, licking a thick stripe from your asshole to your clit. You knocked your head back with a gasped moan, bucking into him and hissing when the gear stick poked you in the back when you led back too far. 
You let out a shaky breath as he lapped you up, tongue dipping inside of you before travelling up to that sweet spot and sucking at it gently. You gasped and moaned, hands scrambling between holding yourself up and holding him down. His own were resting on your thighs — his calm and collected demeanour was a drastic contradiction from your own. 
His head nodded calmly between your legs, relaxed in its position — yours, shaky and tense all at once, neck bracing whenever you fell back. His hands tapped soft melodies on your skin whereas yours tightened around whatever was in their old, whether that be the leather of the seats or the blonde of Art’s hair. 
When he finally came up for air, his chin was coated in your slick, and he licked his lips clean before straightening up above you. You watched, paralysed, while he unbuckled his belt, threw it over the door with your jeans, and sent you a look under his lashes that you’d only seen him wear during his tennis matches. 
You had been keeping quiet earlier, but when he bottomed out inside you and started to piston, your mind went wild. Choruses of Oh my God and Fuck!, shouts of Art’s name and whimpers under your breath — it all came tumbling out and you couldn’t even try and stop it. 
Not that you wanted to; your vocality seemed to make him go faster, harder. It made him vocal, no longer calm and relaxed as he had been when eating you out, but loud and gruff. Grunts and moans you had dreamt about hearing outside of a television screen, now being huffed into the air you shared. 
You came with a whine and Art followed not long after, and you settled there for a moment — legs spread in his passenger seat with him standing between them — until you could muster up the strength to push yourself up. 
Five minutes later and you were both dressed, Art’s black jeep parked outside of your apartment building. You hadn’t exchanged any more words, but when you turned to slam the door once you had jumped out, you found his eyes on yours. 
“I have a game this weekend. Two hours out. Tashi wanted you to come. A gift, for all you’ve done for us.” 
(You went to the game. Art won. Tashi grinned like she’d made it happen and then offered to buy you a drink).
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