#there are 0 thoughts put into anything
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look i couldn’t fall asleep-too many thoughts and an unfinished sketch so Quickly doodled this the past hour and will now try to sleep actually
#the witcher#lambert#aiden#lambden#laiden#i got nothing witty or annoying to say i am sleepy so are my eyes#which is why this counts as a doodle#there are 0 thoughts put into anything#be it anatomy or shading#i could not tell you#my brain just went 'finish the sketch of aiden patching up lambert'#so i did and added some blush to ~enhance it#idc if witchers can or cant blush they WILL if i so desire#anyhow good...morning its 6am here#i tried my best okay its almost been 2 hours since i last was here and went to leave#so good night or smth idk what this counts as#art#zkretchy
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Rewatching act 2.... yeah ISHA WATCH OUT FOR THE CYCLE ISHA!!!!! NOOOOO
#ambessa setting up the logs on a fireplace while literally adding fuel to the fire with cailtyn... subtelty#silco spent his whole life trying to rile the undercity together STUPID JOKE THAT IT IS you have the chance to pull it off#isha is the true revolutionary after all... jinx get up to her level#was jinx scared of having hallucinations when the girl she released was gonna touch her shoulder??? and then she didn't#what i find really funny is that warwick knows how to use elevators and that funicular to the prison#also there is a lot of blood when he appears in the prison.... it was surprising#vander recognizing jinx with the name of powder after she complained about it eariler its just crazy crazy crazy#people commenting that its unrealistic how caitlyn bests vi when they meet in episode 6 as if there wasn't a montage about how she lost her#edge because of alcohol and living like shit.... she's not like jinx lmao....#rewatching so recently is so weird i imagine it is as close as being dr manhattan as i can get it is literally happening all at once#also the people of piltover are so dumb... lets let the government implement martial law and put this 20 something with 0 political#experience on charge with the army of this outsider agent. alright. i can tell you guys dont vote in this oligarchy you know fuck all#well i guess in that case it isnt the people of piltovers fault... just the important families that contribute in this oligarchy...#putting count fagula in charge.... salo is speciallt dumb but we all knew that#katie leung needs awards btw.... and interviews#“do not test this or you will yearn for caitlyn's dungeons” be careful singed my friend vi fell for that and look at her... her dungeons...#vander reaching for isha not jinx.... OR VI.... she just stopped him#“hes gonna kill you” and vi fighting vander to protect jinx.... yeah#and then she trusts jinx and the beast turns into vander... he serves as a recognizing tool for their true selves...#their mom being so worried about how to name vi and then names the second one POWDER kahdksjsk never not funny... also the barber of zaun#when vi joins with jayce she unlocks this loser flop aspect of her mother's inheritance.... two losers joining to maximize their joint flop#also vander kinda giving up this promise to protect the girls instead of bettering zaun... how it puts him in a standstill bc it's either or#like damn there is nothing as undoing as a daughter for reals. she didnt experience that bc she died so now vander has to and here we are#episide 6 starts with the end of the episode when viktor drops that metal piece..... hello..... is this anything#“do you think this place could work” underground utopia.... DYNASTIES AND DYSTOPIA FEAR IS NEVER AN OPTION SO DYING'S NOT A REAL PROBLEM#didnt ambessa suspect anything when they spent loke a full minite staring at each other 😭😭 she's lost her edge...#just like when she clocked sevika but not jinx... when there's a strong butch in the area her radar gets jammed up#and caitlyn leaving her weapon behind... ambessa thought she was gonna fistfight warwick or something#the metal thing falling when viktor dies repeats THREE TIMES WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#watching arcane season 2
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ik im late to the game here (literally) but i started playing yakuza 0 the other day and im kind of obsessed with the juxtaposition of kiryu being a relatively simple guy who says what hes thinking vs majima being a case study in code switching
#like they r parallels in other ways for sure#but watching majima switch how he talks every time he speaks is so interesting#i only just started chapter 5 so i know theres more coming and idk practically anything about this series#but in that detail already i can tell the writers put a lot of thought into personal voice for these characters#like i feel like itd be easy to just make two of kind of the same guy for a story like this but they for sure didnt#yakuza 0#yakuza
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Yeah of course I’m still thinking about plushies, what else (Patreon)
Most specifically thinking about magnets again - there’s the obvious of putting it in their hands so they can hold hands!
Of course if they’re on the same side i.e. right hand gets south polarity, left gets north, they’d only be able to hold opposite hands, so no handshakes (but I think that’s fine personally haha)
But on top of hands they could also have magnets behind their mouth! Kiss-magnets! My only real concern is the fabric pulling and developing kiss-wrinkles from being pressed against each other haha
They’d also be able to giggle with their palms to their mouths hehe, how cute! It’d depend on their kiss polarity
Which would of course depend on ship compatibility! Max has to be able to kiss Dex and Caleb, so if that makes it that Caleb and Dex can’t kiss, I mean that’s just an unfortunate side effect haha
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#ZEX#And kinda-sorta Caleb under the cut - mostly construction speculations#Gah I want themst as plushies so baaaad#Baby steps thataway - I'm still unsure with the fabric I'm using but everything testing! Every little step forward!#Just the thought of getting to play with them hehe ♪#Also personally-funny haha - that black shirt has a gold zipper pocket on the front so it's a little like VUX medals to me hehe#Fun fun#I'll get to play with them eventually!!! I will!#Until then the speculations are still enjoyable :) About the different accessories to have on offer hehe#Since they'd have static faces what would be a good way to imply sleepies? Too scary to be tucked in with wide eyes lol#A sleep mask makes him look sleepy <3 I wonder what his PJs are like :0 Even when I drew him wandering around at night#I still defaulted to his usual shirt style but I've seen him in a T shirt! :0 Comfy cozy#Guess it depends on the season as well haha tho I imagine the Vyer estate has central air hmmm#Anyhow lol - poor ZEX! It'd be too easy to cover his plushie in stitches to denote Them and his MU and everything :')#I also like the idea of little velcro/magnetic accessories to attach to the face - so like he has the empty socket and a little patch aw#Would like very much to try dry-dying(?) his hair with the green tips as well - like putting that plush-blush on the cheeks but hair instead#It should be possible right!#Speculating hair shapes for Max - I think bangs embroidered right to the face are very cool! But I like the idea of flipping his bangs up#Not like Super long to give him an emo fringe or anything lol but just enough to cover like his upper lash line :)#Attachment parts are interesting for sure - almost gotta make like a wig-style design to go over his head! :0#But imagining the final version with him so cute and self-pleased and squishy and throwable haha <3 He's too cute!#All the stuff under the cut is fairly well-contained explained I think haha#Looks strange in a kind of x-ray breakdown but hopefully it'd be invisible once they're constructed! No weird pulling hopefully hopefully#Sure doesn't make polyships any easier sheesh - what if I want them all to kiss! What if I want them to kiss everyone!!!#Magnets and their binary polarity smh just gotta invent a dual-attraction haha
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Each time I think I’ve finally become normal about This Fucking Family my brain comes up with shit like “Hey have you noticed how much Liba looks like young Sunat?” and now I want to throw up
#Liba inherited more of Jusamah’s face shape and complexion but other than that. look!! they’re partially identical!!!#(*practically. I ain’t rewriting all that)#I did not mean for their clothes to look so similar. and I have been meaning to redesign Liba’s#since I was drawing quickly when I came up with her and put 0 thought into it#but that just adds to the effect. I feel like#ohhh they make me sick. this entire family makes me sick#every time I think I’ve explored all there is to them and next thing you know. something like this occurs#I don’t think anything can loosen the grasp they have on me…#but anyway#fun fact#Sunat also happens to look a lot like Nazra#I would know bc when I was drawing her I decided to have some fun and made her eyes red#and genuinely. they look scarily similar. especially looking at my old Nazra sketches from 2021#and since Nazra herself does have a more squarish face..#she and Liba probably look alike as well to a certain degree#which is always fun :D I often forget that they’re cousins since Nazra doesn’t exist in most verses#but it means so much to me that even when it wasn’t intentional they still look like family#Ultimate AU edition of Zaheer’s family when?? I need them all to interact with Naz#Nazra really won in the cousins department lmao. Liba and Abyan on one side. Mako and Bolin on the other#HC that Suiren and Midori have like.. second or third cousins in the desert somewhere#because why are they missing out on the cousin shenanigans??#there are probably a few swamp people apart from Meifeng related to them too#I should dig up my old Ming-Hua family tree and develop it a little#as if I need EVEN MORE OCS lmao#okay rant over I need a nap#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness
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rappabin
#rappabin#rappa hsr#robin hsr#robirappa#yk those protein shakes? i never liked them but then i found protein chips at walmart today. i thought that theyd be so much better-#than protein shakes and god was i wrong. ive never tasted anything more off-putting and gross in my life. 0/10 would not recommend
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Not reblogging it for reasons, but I really agree with that person on here who said people are reframing depression and generally feeling shit all the time as a good thing because of the horrors of Gaza. There are people on here heavily implying that you feeling bad and finding it more and more difficult to live with yourself is actually an appropriate response to war and genocide. In some way, it might be. But the thing is, where does that lead? Does it lead to decisive action in accordance to your values, or to nihilistic stewing and self isolation from your community?
The post went on to call it anti-recovery culture- I don't know if I would call it that, because I get why people don't like recovery culture, especially in relation to addiction, but mental illness also. I think that's something I'm not qualified to speak on. So I wouldn't call this anti-recovery culture. Instead I would call it pro-burnout in activism culture. Do you honestly think people who are the most productively working in their communities and participating in actions to help overseas are feeling like this? Or do you think they have learned to use self-accountability and community support to reign themselves in when they begin to burn out emotionally, and rest and recuperate their mind in order to come back stronger? Ask yourself, is that wrong of them to do, because they should be feeling bad, because after all that is the appropriate response....does it mean they don't care, because they don't spend all their time feeling shit? Or perhaps, the truth is, they do care, and are demonstrating it all the time, but they also understand that them feeling shit literally doesn't help anyone. Why can we not talk about or acknowledge this?
#i don't want to make out like i'm some amazing activist- absolutely am not talking about myself here#but i think they key thing is activism is best done as a group and one of the group's important functions is caring for one another#if you see an activist framework that encourages people to isolate from others it's not leading anywhere good- avoid#please do not let these ghouls trick you into thinking your depression and shit feelings are the right thing to feel#or that it's wrong to not want to have them any more#as that other post said: no thought crimes and also no thought activism#it's just thoughts and they don't do anything without actions and guess what makes you unable to do actions? (depression)#by the way i wish there was a better word than burnout to talk about this because it's so associated with work and capitalism#but it's a thing- i have seen it through my environmental activism group over the past 4 years#one woman just cut ties with everyone right down to her best friend and disappeared- we know she is alive but that's it#i miss her. but she had all the tools to avoid burning out and she didn't use them- at the end of the day you can't MAKE someone stop#oh yeah finally the above attitude to mental illness also puts you in a vulnerable place for conspiracy thinking#PLEASE do not become like my dad who listened to his mental illness too hard#and went from a leftist to a horseshoe theory conspiracist#guess how much activism he does now?! (hint: it's 0)
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am i ungrateful for being upset and wanting to return the gifts that people gave me even though none of the gifts that i was given are from the list i specifically told people to buy from and i didn’t ask for anything even remotely close to what i got. or am i just. ungrateful
#for reference i believe only 3 people in my entire family looked at and bought from the list i sent to Everyone entitled “what to buy me”#a lot of other people decided to get me things i have never expressed interest in (foot lotion? just give me money???)#or to get me things they thought i’d like but without consulting me and now i have 0 space for anything i received.#or to get me things i haven’t liked since 2021 (looking at the various harry potter products)#and they all ignored the MANY MANY organizers and storage items on my list and now i have nowhere to put the things that i DID receive
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well this is what ive been doing for the past 2 weeks
#sorry for using chrome. drive sucks on firefox. i use firefox for everything else. literally it's open right next to this for other shit#so what im doing is making a list of every creature you ever encounter in dai (that part is complete. it took a week)#and making note of its important stats and now its chance of each elemental immunity with the walk softly trial on#because i am genuinely planning that solo nightmare all trials run and the most important thing is making sure i can actually hit everythin#you will notice that NOTHING is EVER immune to spirit damage. that is due to a bug that i personally discovered in the trial implementation#the only creatures that can gain immunity to spirit through the trial are cretahl and hurlock alphas (only the ones in the descent)#and the only creatures naturally immune to spirit are in dlc (mostly trespasser but some in the other dlc too)#so basically what this means is that you NEED spirit runes lmao. or i guess runes to damage specific types of enemy#the least likely immunity of the three core elements is electric which is good because chain lightning is VERY powerful for solo runs#you've just gotta be mindful of hitting yourself because friendly fire WILL be on for this run fml#oh so those percentages arent technically correct. they're inflated for most creatures#for normal-ranked creatures (rank 0) there's a 20% chance they'll be promoted to elite (rank 1) and then all elites--#(whether promoted to elite or already elite) have that chance of immunity. so you can divide them by 5 for normal-ranked creatures#except for the 100% ones. those are from preexisting immunities#yes im putting way too much thought into all of this. i went into the all trials and the solo nightmare runs without doing too much work#it's just that on nightmare you get FULL immunities and with no companions you've gotta make sure you can deal with that#because you might end up in a situation where you just cant damage something AT ALL#(a good reason to diversify your abilities. also you CAN damage them it's just capped at 1 damage per hit)#and no abilities that decrease resistances help because an immunity is +1000% resistance and nothing comes close to getting that under 100#im having fun at least. i wouldnt keep doing this if it was too boring#some of it has been tedious (especially going through some of the areas with dozens of the same enemy) but ultimately feels worth it#the spreadsheet has 5678 lines ftr. fortunately around 2.5k are npcs so i dont have to do anything more with them#anyway. i usually post about what da-related thing im up to every now and then and it's been ages so i thought id give an update lmao#personal#da#dai#undescribed#there are also a lot of interesting things like. you'll see that poison spiders CANT be immune to nature damage#and that's because it wont apply an immunity if the creature is already immune to that element OR its associated effect#so poison spiders arent immune to nature damage but they ARE immune to poison so they wont gain nature immunity from the trial
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I will continue being gone for a few days, sadly my original al plan of releasing the newest chapter of The Consequence Of Imagination's Fear has also been delayed. My apologies
Can't go into detail because its hush hush not-legally-mentionable stuff but today is my fifth 12 hour no-break work day. I'm also packing to move too in a fortnight (which is a Big Yahoo!! Yippee!! I'll finally have access to a kitchen!! And no more mold others keep growing!!! So exciting!!!)
#syncrovoid.txt#delete later#OKAY SO! this makes it sound like i have a super important job but really we are understaffed and ive barely worked there a year now#graduated college a few years early 'cause i finished high school early (kinda? it's complicated)#now i am in a position where i am in the role of a whole Quality Assurance team (testing and write ups)#a Task Manager/Planner#Software Developer and maybe engineer? not sure the differences. lots of planning and programming and debugging ect ect#plus managing the coworker that messed up and doing his stuff because it just isnt good enough. which i WILL put in my end day notes#our team is like 4 people lol. we severely need more because rhe art department has like 10 people??#crunch time is.. so rough..#its weirdddddd thinking about this job since its like i did a speedrun into a high expectations job BUT in my defense i was hired before#i graduated. and like SURE my graduating class had literally 3 people so like there was a 86%-ish drop out rate??#did a four year course in 2 BY ACCIDENT!! i picked it on a whim. but haha i was picked to give advice and a breakdown on the course so it#could be reworked into a 3 year course (with teachers that dont tell you to learn everything yourself) so that was neat#im rambling again but i have silly little guy privileges and a whole lot of thoughts haha#anywho i am SO hyped to move!! I'll finally get away from the creepy guy upstairs (i could rant for days about him but he is 0/10 the worst)#it will be so cool having access to a kitchen!! and literally anything more than 1 singular room#(it isnt as bad as it sounds i just have a weird life. many strange happenings and phenomenons)#<- fun fact about me! because why not? no one knows where i came from and i dont 100% know if my birthday is my birthday#i just kinda. exist. @:P#i mean technically i was found somewhere and donated to some folks (they called some different people and whoever got there first got me)#but still i think it is very silly! i have no ties to a past not my lived one! i exist as a singularity!#anywho dont think about it too hard like i guess technically ive been orphaned like twice but shhhhhhhh#wow. i am so sleep deprived. i am so so sorry to anyone who may read this#i promise im normal#@:|
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You know what would actually be a fantastic use of chat AI? Video games.
One of the few things I dislike about rpgs is the dialogue trees- even the best games can only offer a few options at a time. I would absolutely love a game where the AI allows npcs to respond naturally to anything i said, so I could have realistic conversations with any character.
#sour speaks#like imagine you can type anything into a dialogue box and the AI would respond#obv i am not a game dev and have put 0 thought into the logistics of this#but i think it would be neat
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i am a tiny snail in my tiny shell observing everything from my tiny home . i am here i promise but i am oh so very small
#capri talks#what do i put here. uhhhhhhh. Hm. Sleep Bad right now and im trying to juggle the big stuff in my life and so no time for tumble right now#tumble is fun. i miss tumble :( but I have the condition where I get very involved in the things I like and so if I can't do 500% then I.#I don't put anything into it because it doesn't feel like me. Does that make sense. So yeah the tumble battery is recharging rn#If you could see the inside of my mind and the thoughts I have that would be very cool and awesome and take 0 energy!!#I am thinking. I think A Lot and I'm telling you guys honestly ur missing out
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trying to finish the hunter playlist I made for the millionth time
#my cycle is i finish it -> i listen to other music and find new things to add -> end up dumping a ton of new songs into it#-> make it private because I need to move things around sometime and also cull it -> take for fucking ever to do this#-> finish it again#and so on#i swear everytime too im like. okay my goal is to REMOVE songs and then i end up adding more in the process#trying to order thungs how i want is so hard i change my mind all the time so then i need to go back#so i can listen to the songs around the new placement in succession to decide if it was a good move or not#and i put all this effort into ordering but honestly sometimes i have a hard time following my own narrative thought for the#songs and how theyre applicable#im a bad playlist maker#im a serial dumper at heart#whenever i start any playlist thats what i do#and then sometimes (like for character playlists or playlist swaps) i have to try and remedy said dump#so its a reasonable length + has a length with a multiple of 5 because idk i find multiples of 5 comforting#so if im doing anything involving amounts with intent then the amount must end in 5 or 0 or ill be Deeply unsatisfied
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It's true sometimes others doubting you really is the best motivation :))
#you read this everywhere but i think it can be true#at least for me it was#last spring we had this tennis training camp with the team i play in#a week prior i played a match against this woman from my team which i won 6:2 6:3#during dinner in the camp she brought that up and said she was surprised she lost against me#and that she was anoyed because she shouldn't loose against me#i found that a bit funny tbh 😅 even back then because she lost quite clearly#at no point was she leading or my victory was in danger in the last set i was even up 5:0 and i just gave away points lightly#well i didn't say anything but the motivation it gave me 😄#so i thought to myself i will show you no one will underestimate me again :)#i just love playing tennis anyway and improving my game but this gave me a lot of extra motivation#then i had a good tennis season with my first singles wins and trained a lot during the summer until up today#many hours a week when i had no uni at times like 5× a week for 2 hours or sometimes even 4#i'm so looking forward to playing her again 😀 she will be so surprised with my tennis because it's levels above how i played back then#no but it's not so much about her it was more a i'll show you for myself proving myself how much is possible#now everyone can see it that i'm good and getting praise for my quick improvement and good play 😁#also it's amazing how much you can improve if you put in the time and effort#and i'm really looking forward to summer and our next season using everything i learned in a match#takeaway if someone doesn't think you're good at something that isn't necessarily true#it can mean nothing and you can still show them what you can do i think it can be amazing motivation#her words were just what i needed#that being said i have nothing against her she is a nice person and we always got along fine 😊#unfortunately she is injured now so it will be some time until i play her again i hope she gets well soon...#maybe i should thank her one day for the extra motivation 😂#using tumblr as my diary 😂 what else do i have to do in the train 😂#others opinion of you doesn't determine what you can do ☺️✌️
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#my dad challenge stop asking me when i'm gonna get a girlfriend (masked under progressive-ish language) [impossible]#why does he have to place so much importance in having a partner idgaf and i'm not telling him 100% sure he's not gonna take it well#(despite him saying he just wants to know whether i share his view that having a partner is like the best thing ever and will respect me no#matter what. dude thought asexuality = narcissism (sort of. he said it's the same as onanism which makes literally 0 sense but ok))#also stop calling anything definitions and forgetting everything i've told him every goddang time to ask the same questions phrased#slightly differently and stop saying extremely annoying stuff and not getting the deal of identities. it's not how one ''defines'' themself#it's how one is. then the definition is just for ease of communication.))#damn venting like this saves a bunch of time back in the day (2-4 years ago lmao) i would've taken like 20min writing this in code in a#sort of diary i put together. much less cathartic though#didn't get to almost cut through the paper with my pen for half an hour (which i would've done if i wrote it on the coded diary)#but it took me much less#also very weird feels more and less thoughtful than the diary felt
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so august 2018 is when my peak being-crazy-made art craziness happened, huh
#and then as soon as i left that situation all of my art became normal again lmao#i went from drawing weird cryptic things that quite literally would only ever make sense to me#to just. drawin landscape stuff like normal again sdhvfdvghsd#i mean there a couple cryptic things here n there after but like. not nearly as cryptic at all. like you could p much easily make out what#is trying to be conveyed. the other shit is like. nothing. you couldn't understand unless I had to explain everything that happened#gotta say guys doing shrooms and being abused do not mix well at all#bc when im not being abused and im on shrooms shit is great. im feeling lit. all i wanna do is draw nature stuff#but that moment in my life? phew...#vent#i literally thought I died. like i literally thought I wasn't actually alive and I was in some mirror version of earth that was the#underworld-- so much happened. its kind of distressing to think about all the weird fucking visions i got#and its not even like it was always like that when I did shrooms with that person- initially in the love-bombing phase I was fine.#all of my art from then looks pretty fuckin normal save for ig more colorful stuff and trippy patterns or whatever. but otherwise fine#if anything it enhanced my art#its only after the gaslighting and the putting me down and the withdrawing love shit started happening that i just like. snapped.#idek. it was all so surprising to me because they really did convince me they loved me.#not only all of that abuse-- also the enabling my conspiracy theory brain too which didn't help#which ironically my art didn't have much do to with actual conspiracy theories but the mindset was implemented in to me so#there was a lot of weird delusions and paranoia and just like. stuff that didn't make sense but also did if I explained it?? idek#there was like a consistent story to my weird visions but it didn't make sense also. like there was no real reason for things to be what#they were or look the way they did or whatever#but there Was a consistent story still#its something i *want* to encapsulate into maybe a comic or picture book or something but like. idek if i could encapsulate it all#theres so many bits and pieces that idek if i could fully convey- idk#dawg even my stuff from after my couple of 'acid' trips wasn't as confusing and cryptic as the stuff after being abused#one common theme in a lot of it is its intentionally repelling. every part of my being knew I needed to be away from that person in spite#of how they would pretend to be friendly with me so some of that art is trying to scare them away in a weird cryptic way that tbfh#they probably didn't understand either whenever a pic was trying to do that like what it even was trying to say- thats kinda how fucking#crazy i got from that whole situation. i think part of me felt like that at least if it was vague and unhinged that it would scare them#away idrk. i do think it worked lol. even if it doesnt really fully make sense at all. idk. but 0/10 one of the worst periods of my life
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