#then you make the most insane desserts

[grainfruit]

Like I have a history of eating like shit why would you keep making all these sugary foods and leaving them and demanding I eat them and making more FUCK I HATE HOW I LOOK BECAUSE OF THESE SUCARY FOODS STOP FUCKING FEEDING ME

[tzyunaes]

LOOSE 爱。 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗅𝖾𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝗈𝖽𝗒

SUCCINCT ੭୧ 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝖼𝗈𝗈𝗅.

【文库】 𓈒ㅤ𝑓𝖾𝗆 ! 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 ────── 1THO&2Hㅤ◞ ◟ㅤ𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 𝗌𝗎𝗀 𝖾𝗌𝗍. 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉 🍴   𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉&𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀

제니 ‎ ‎: ‎ ‎ ‎for @flwrstqr ♡

reblog&cl𝒾ck

HEESEUNG

one thing about heeseung was, which he never tried to hide was how insanely down bad he was for you and definitely wasn't planning on doing when you just fueled into it. “oh…dear god,” he almost gasped, his eyes stuck on your alluring form, when you walked out of your room after spending hours to getting ready, you were so goddamn gorgeous it hurt. he walked closer to you, his breathes been already taken away and the moment he got a whiff of your perfume, he was done for. could you blame him? your scent was intoxicating, hell, everything about you was so intoxicating to him. “fuck, y/n.. you are doing this on purpose, aren't you?” he whispered as he nudged his face in the crook of your neck, as if he's been touch-starved for years, you chuckled, “you're such a loser, hee.” he grinned, his voice muffled as he continued peppering your neck with kisses, “well, i am your loser.”

JAY

jay adored you and he always showed it in every way possible. one of them was cooking dinner for you no matter how the day was. but to his surprise you decided to make this day different by trying to cook for him. jay almost choked on his saliva when he saw you in the kitchen, wearing his shirt, catching him flustered. you smiled when you saw him standing there breathless and walked over to him, “jay baby, are you okay?” he finally exhaled, his hands sneaked around your waist, “can’t promise after seeing you looking all so cuddly and princess-y in my shirt, doll.” his gaze on you being so tender as if you were a porcelain doll, you giggled, trying to ignore the rising heat on your cheeks, “i was trying to cook dinner for you..” he glanced over at the kitchen for a second before looking back at you with a smirk on his face, “yeah? then let me keep you for the dessert, angel.”

JAKE

dolled up, you got inside of the passenger seat of the car where jake was already waiting for you, wearing a pretty mini skirt that rode up to your thighs, oh well, jake was a already down horrendous lovesick puppy for you and he did not bother to hesitate to show it. his lips fell out of each other breathless, his hungry eyes shamelessly checking out your curves. “do i look okay?” you asked while adjusting your dress, “oh, don't play, doll. you literally look like a goddess. i am devoted good lord.” his voice barely more than a whisper before he leaned in to kiss your knuckles. he went back to his seat, hands already reaching out to caresses your thighs as he began to drive, you can be assured that he wasn't going to let you, his pretty princess, go out of his sight for the night at all.

SUNGHOON

“yes and one strawberry matcha latte and for my husband— i would like to order—,” hearing the word “husband” roll off your tongue like it was the most obvious thing to be said, like ever, sunghoon froze on his seat. you were still on the phone unaware of the effect you had on him, his face flushed in heat. his lips curled into a folded smile, he never tried to hide that you got him wrapped around your finger. “husband, huh?” he said, pulling you onto his lap from the other side of the couch, “say it again,” “huh?” you looked at him in confusion for a moment, his hands rode up from your waist to your abdomen, “say it again wifey, please,” he plead while leaving a trail of kisses on your neck from the back that made your heart beat faster, “husband, do you may perhaps want me?” you teased and he smirked, “oh let me show you how much i want you, angel.”

SUNOO

no matter how much sunoo tried— tho honestly, he didn't but— he could not take his eyes off you, cause you were simply just way too captivating that his throat felt dry when he looked at you. he was sitting on the couch, his gaze intensely lingered on your body, you casually placed the hair tie between your lips and pulled your hair in a ponytail, there was something about the way your fingers ran through your silky locks, and the graceful arch of your neck exposed by the simple act of tying up your hair that sent his imagination reeling. for a moment, he could almost feel the ghost of your touch against his skin, he was far too down bad. it didn't take long for him to get up and take two more steps across the room and to you, to your surprise, of course. “fuck, y/n… can you let me breathe,” his voice hitched into a whisper, you drove him insane by anything you did at this point.

JUNGWON

jungwon was talking about his day and you were supposed to just listen but you were one woman of simplicity who couldn't but stare at her boyfriend’s lips for a long period of time. his voice trailed off and he began to look at you, noticing your hungry gaze on his lips. his words stuck on his throat, his heart racing under your gaze, he swallowed hard, “is it that fascinating, darling?” “well, it is when you don't—” he abruptly cuts you off midway, already pushing your tongue back into your mouth with his, as he gently cupped your face. his breath hitched, “don't look at me like that when you know you drive me crazy, doll. i am weak on my knees for you and i don't know how to hide it."

RIKI

riki stood towering over you, his tall figure made the slight height difference between you two more noticeable. as you tried to reach to his lips to give him his precious good morning kiss, he realized you had to stand on your tiptoes, pink hue flushed across his face and he hid a far too affectionate smile, he tried to brush away the feeling and teased, "can't reach me up here, can you shorty?" and the pout in response you gave didn't help either, you were so adorable he might just die, “i sometimes want to put you in my pocket, angel,” he retorted with a lovesick smile and finally stooped down, bringing his face closer to yours and bending down for a tender kiss which might just last for a while.

[hanniebaeee]

Honey Cakes

Hyunjin x fem!reader

Warnings: SMUT MDNI

Genre: established relationship, smuttyyyy, fluff

Summary: Hyunjin had it all planned out - a romantic dinner date (plus the surprise). But then he gets almost stood up, and then edged to near insanity. By the time dessert is done, so is his patience.

a/n: Someone sent me something, and I went feral ( @kittentaegu sweetheart, thank you for inspiring me hehe)

The first thing you see when you wake up is chaos in the form of a hundred texts and missed calls from your boyfriend. 

You are still groggy from sleep, but your heart nearly stops as you pick up the phone.

Hyunjin [7:30 PM]: Baby. Love of my life. Where are you?  

Hyunjin [7:30 PM]: I swear to God, if you’re dead, I will kill you.

Hyunjin [7:31 PM]: I’m literally sitting here looking like an abandoned puppy.

Hyunjin [7:32 PM]: The waiter asked if I needed water and was looking at me funny. 

Hyunjin [7:35 PM]: Just say it. You don’t love me anymore.

Hyunjin [7:36 PM]: I was a fool to believe in love.

Hyunjin [7:38 PM]: BRB ordering the most expensive wine so I can SOB into it.

Hyunjin [7:40 PM]: There's a happy couple at the next table. Omg I wanna die 😭

Oh, shit.

Your heart drops as you realize that your fifteen-minute power nap has turned into a one hour coma. It had been such an exhausting day at work, and all you wanted was to take a short nap before you met Hyunjin for your dinner date.

And now your dramatic ass boyfriend is left unsupervised in a fancy restaurant with his overactive imagination. You fumble with the phone as you call him immediately. He picks up in half a ring.

“Oh finally you called,” he sighs, voice dripping with melodrama. “Just say it.”

“Say what?” You sit up too fast and almost fall off the bed.

“You stood me up for thirty minutes,” he declares dramatically. “I am SITTING HERE ALONE in a romantic, candlelit, EXPENSIVE ASS RESTAURANT, looking like a HEARTBROKEN FOOL.”  

You press your lips together because you absolutely cannot laugh right now. Not when he’s being so serious about his suffering.

“Hyunjin, baby,” you say, raiding your wardrobe for something that will make up for this little mishap. And you grin as your eyes land on that dress. 

You haven't worn it before. Another one of Hyunjin's gifts - because he daydreams of you in all pretty outfits his eyes fall on and comes home with the said outfit, begging you to wear it for him. 

“I didn’t stand you up, I just -”

“Oh, so neglect is different from abandonment now?” he challenges, sniffing for dramatic effect. “Interesting.”

“Baby I accidentally took a nap -”

“Oh my God.” He gasps. “You slept through our date?”

“I love you Jinnie, and I’m so sorry -”

“Don’t gaslight me with love.”

You do a quick job with your makeup, and he's still ranting on the other side as you grab your keys and sprint out the door.

“I’m on my way right now, honey bun, I swear.”

“You’d better be,” he grumbles. “Because if I finish this glass alone, I’m throwing myself into the restaurant fountain.”

When you get there, panting from running in heels, Hyunjin is sitting at a candlelit table in the corner looking like a masterpiece and a neglected princess all at once.

You rush over, but before you can even apologize properly, he exhales exaggeratedly. 

“Did you have a nice nap?” he says coolly, twirling his wine glass.

You bite your lip, willing yourself not to laugh.

“Hyunjin, baby -”

“No. It’s fine.” He looks away dramatically. “I understand.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

You slide into the chair next to him, lean in so close your lips brushing his ear as you whisper, “I said I'm sorry, baby. I'll make it up to you.”

His entire body freezes as your warm breath fan his neck. Then he exhales, eyes dropping to your neckline, hand gripping his wine glass tight.

“This dress…” he mutters, clearing his throat.

“I knew you'll love it. I also haven't eaten all day, so I’m starving.” You smirk, running a teasing hand down his thigh.

He chokes on air.

“Okay. I’m sure we can work this out,” he announces, eyes dark. “In fact, I am not even mad anymore.”

“Thought so.” You grin cheekily, and Hyunjin sighs because it's no secret that you have this man wrapped around your little finger.

He rests his chin on his hand as gazes at you, a soft smile playing on his gorgeous face.

And just when you think that you've won this round, Hyunjin reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a cute velvet box.

“I was going to wait, but honestly, you’re gonna put me in an early grave. So let's do this, yeah?”

Your heart stops as he opens the little box and inside it sits the prettiest ring you've ever seen. His eyes are so gentle, so full of love - none of his usual teasing or the drama. Just him.

“I had a whole speech ready for this, but you stood me up and I panicked and I -”

You swallow hard as he rambled on. He's stumbling on his words, and he's so sweet, you just want to squish cheeks and cry for days. 

“So, marry me?” His voice is so soft as he asks you that, and he's looking at you with those pretty puppy eyes, and you are sure you feel the sting of tears forming in your eyes. 

“You sure?” You tease. “I did stand you up just now.”

He groans, head dropping into the table with a mild thump.

“Just say yes before I have a heart attack.” he says, looking up at you with a smile. 

You laugh, cup his perfect face in your hands, and say the only thing that’s there to say.

“Yes.”

And Hyunjin, the love of your dramatic life, kisses you breathless before slipping the ring on your finger. And you both giggle, foreheads pressed together, and he whispers, “We’re gonna need more wine now.”

Less than fifteen minutes later - Hyunjin is suffering, to say the least. 

Like, genuinely on the verge of passing out in this very fancy restaurant where he just proposed and you said yes. Because instead of rushing home to let him show you just how insanely in love with you he is, you’re… eating. 

Like nothing life-changing just happened. The diamond ring glittered on your finger as you ate like you haven't eaten in days. Literally wolfing down the pasta in between long sips of wine.

Like your hand isn’t resting on his thigh, your fingers idly stroking his inner thigh in a way that is definitely NOT innocent. 

And Hyunjin?  He is in shambles.  

You moan as you take another bite of that darn pasta, completely oblivious to the way he grips the edge of the table like his life depended on it. 

"This is so good," you sigh, licking your lips. 

Hyunjin closes his eyes. Lord, grant me strength.

You hum in absolute bliss, and say, "Baby, you have to try this -"

Try? TRY? Oh you've been trying him for the past fifteen minutes. And now he wants to try something, alright.

He wants to drag you out of this restaurant, throw you onto the first surface he finds, and have his way with you. There is a lot he wants to try right now. 

But no.  Because he’s a gentleman. A respectable, self-controlled, newly-engaged man (who's so close to losing his shit). 

"Are you okay, honey bun?" you ask, blinking at him with innocent, pretty eyes. And Hyunjin forgets how to breathe for a second. 

His thigh tenses under your touch, and he swallows audibly.

"I’m fine," he grits out. 

You tilt your head, unconvinced.  

"You’re not touching your food." 

Because his appetite is for something else entirely, and it is not on this goddamn menu.

"Just -" He clears his throat, shifting a little in his chair. "Just thinking." About all the ways he's going to wreck you the second you both leave.  

You hum thoughtfully, dragging your hand up his thigh just a little higher, and Hyunjin prays. Because if you don’t stop, he is fully prepared to drop to his knees in the middle of this restaurant, and beg for you to let him take you home immediately.

You stab another forkful of pasta and beam at him.  

"So, what are we getting for dessert?" You ask, giving him a sunny smile. 

Hyunjin blinks. Dessert? Then he laughs. It’s a broken,  hysterical laugh. Like he just realized he might not survive the night. And you just smile sweetly, your hand still very much resting on his thigh, way too close to a growing problem. 

The final nail in his coffin was of course, dessert. 

Honey cake. Warm. Moist. So damn sweet. You take your first bite, and Hyunjin swears he saw stars.  

Your head tilts back slightly, eyes fluttering shut, lips parting in pure bliss. And Hyunjin stops breathing. So this is how he goes - sweating in his silk button down shirt, rock-hard under the table, watching a damn cake give you an orgasm. More like a foodgasm? 

You let out a soft, sinful moan, and Hyunjin grips the table for dear life. Oh hell. 

You lick the spoon slowly, completely unaware that you are seconds away from being dragged out of this restaurant by your ankles.  

"This is so good, Jinnie," you murmur, voice low and warm. "You have to try this."  

No. He cannot. He physically cannot. Because he was this close to throwing you on the table and getting banned from this restaurant for life.  Which, honestly, might be worth it at this point.  

But then you load up a spoonful, hold it up to his lips, and whisper, "Open up for me, baby."  

OH. SO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY. 

Hyunjin glares at you, jaw so tight he might break his own teeth. But when has he ever denied you anything? He parts his lips, because he’s a damn fool. 

The second the cake melts on his tongue, his eyes slam shut. It's warm and sweet. And it is so deeply unfair that whatever culinary masterpiece this was, wasn't even close to what he actually wanted to taste right now. 

He groans, head falling onto the table again, rolling the taste over his tongue. And when he opens his eyes again, you are grinning like the devil you are.

You tilt your head, eyes full of mock innocence, and murmur, "Good, right?"  

Hyunjin inhales so deeply his lungs feel like they're ready to collapse. He stares at you and leans in, lips so close to yours, as he whispers, "Finish your cake. Then we're leaving. And when we get home, I hope you're ready, baby." 

The moment your fork clinks against the empty dessert plate, his soul fully detaches from his body. Okay. It's done. You're done. 

Now he can finally do what he has been plotting for the last two hours. His chair scrapes back so fast, and he grabs your wrist, and nearly drags you up and out in record time. 

You giggle shamelessly as Hyunjin literally throws you into the passenger seat of his car.  

He slides into the driver's seat, slams the door shut, says nothing for a minute. His head falls back against the headrest, his chest rising and falling as he tries to regulate his breathing. His fingers flex against his thighs.  

And you? You are having the time of your life.  

"Honey bun, why are you so tense?"

Hyunjin lets out a deep laugh. 

"Tense?" He turns his head to look at you, his blown-out eyes locking with yours. "Baby, I have been on the verge of dying for the past two hours." 

You bite back a grin, leaning in to press a slow, lingering kiss to his neck.  

"Mm." You hum against his hot skin. "So dramatic."  

His hand snaps out, grips your jaw, forcing your face up and his lips barely brush yours as he growls, “Wanna say that again?”

The minute you two step into your shared apartment, Hyunjin has you pressed up against the door. And he doesn’t just kiss you. He devours you.

His hands are everywhere at once - one tangling in your hair, the other gripping your ass, pulling you flush against his firm body.

He kisses you like you owe him your soul for making him suffer like that. He's so hard, it's literally painful, and he can't wait a damn minute.

He lifts you up, hands gripping your thighs, making you gasp and wrap your legs around his waist, as he pins you there, caging you between his body and the door. 

His kisses are messy and sloppy, and he's sweating so damn much. You kiss down his jaw and neck and he groans as you nip at the skin around the little black mole on his neck.

Well he couldn't wait anymore. He's stumbling through the apartment, straight into your bedroom and drops you on the bed before he pulls his shirt off. You watch him strip, your eyes roaming his perfect body. 

And his eyes are on you, his hands reaching down and under your dress to pull your panties down your legs and off. He quickly gets rid of the rest of your clothes before your lips connect again. 

He's so impatient. Grabby and needy. But the minute he's finally inside you, he slows down. Because if he didn't, he'd be cumming without literally any action. 

It’s so slow and deep, and both your bodies are so sensitive with need. Your body arches into his, desperate for him to touch you. 

It doesn't take long for both of you to come crashing down from your peaks, and you can barely breathe. Sweaty, breathless, completely spent -  you’re both a mess. Hyunjin’s chest heaves, skin glistening in the dim light. Even his skin was so damn dramatic. 

“I have never known pain like tonight," he says, voice hoarse, eyes closed. 

You snort, nuzzling closer to kissing his damp shoulder.  

"You survived, baby." 

His arm tightens around you, rolling you over so he can pin you underneath him again.  His dark eyes flicker down, lips trailing down your jaw, your throat and your collarbone.   

"Barely."  

Divider: @saradika-graphics

Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @eastjonowhere @pixie-felix @sailor--sun @chancloud8 @captainchrisstan @hansmic @emilyywhyy @inlovewithstraykids @my-neurodivergent-world

[tomatoluvr69]

It literally feels so insane to spend your entire adult life building a life with this person and entwining your language and heart and home and becoming deeply inseparable and talking seriously about having children, and appointing each other as healthcare power of attorney etc, going through death and strife and natural disaster as a team, and then having that all blow up LOL! Like actually indescribable. It’s divorce baby and also I know how Simon and Garfunkel felt

Hi guys checking in from the trenches of my evil divorce. It’s going bad lol. But mostly three of my posts are blowing up which renders this app unusable. Hope all are welllllllllll <3

[innerchildabortionclinic]

yk how people freak out about ultraprocessed food aiming to bypass your body's natural processes? it's funny how you don't hear the same narrative with diet marketed products when they have ingredients that will have you shitting yourself for 24 hours because it makes the total amount of calories lower. like this cannot possibly be good to consume. the servings of these products you also have to be more careful with, like I remember eating this low calorie ice cream once because I was curious and I noticed it contained an INSANE amount of indigestible insanity. i'm used to GI issues so I drank tons of water in preparation, but others online mentioned they had severe cramping after eating the product, likely because they did not expect such a reaction. it's still salt, fat, and sugar that make dessert foods appealing and companies have not come up with a SAFE way to create diet versions of these more calorie dense products. they tried with olestra in the 90s--people also ended up with digestive issues and thus it was largely phased out. that's because these "hacks" to getting around calories surround how the food is digested and metabolized;

if you've seen any talk from fitness influencers about brands like halo top it's basically this all over again. consuming small to moderate amounts may be fine, but all the marketing surrounds the idea that you don't have to consume small amounts of diet products because they have less calories, which is how people are getting sick. also what happened to "if you have to eat junk food you just lack discipline"? you could be eating frozen yogurt as a replacement for ice cream if it was really your health you were concerned about. i'm just saying when most of my diet consisted of 'low calorie xyz' I had such severe GI issues I thought I developed IBS or something.

anyway no doubt more of these low calorie products will be pushed by western companies as health food in response to people using ozempic to get rid of cravings. will be interesting to see where people end up because these are not sustainable diet strategies.

i've posted on this topic before and people got extremely defensive over using ozempic for weight loss and I just wanna say are that many people on here regularly purchasing ozempic for weight loss? or fantasizing of a future in which they are able to? saying this stuff will have coquette girlies coming for you for weeks guaranteed

[kxsagi]

Hi!! Can I request some headcanons for the Bllk boys (mostly for Rin, Sae, Kaiser, Yukimiya, & Reo, but you can add whoever else hehe) about like their first kiss or first date with reader? (If you haven’t written about it already lol, I’m fairly new to your blog🥹) Like are they giddy about it? Did the date it go well? Were they awkward about kissing reader? Are they dying to see reader again? Yk what I mean???🤭 You can tweak this however you like!

Ty!🤍

"𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠"

a/n: i wrote this and was blushing myself help 😭

also i love the song sure thing and miguel he's such a good artist

ft. itoshi rin, itoshi sae, kaiser michael, yukimiya kenyu, mikage reo, isagi yoichi

itoshi rin

rin is so serious about this first date it’s almost embarrassing. like he’s literally planning his outfit a week in advance and checking the restaurant reviews like he’s prepping for war. 

when you show up looking breathtaking, rin internally glitches. he forgot humans could be that pretty. the most you get out of him at first is a stiff, "you look fine." (it was supposed to be a compliment.) 

the date itself is awkward for like, the first 20 minutes because rin is trying SO hard to be normal. you make a dumb joke, and he stares at you like he’s loading. but then, you laugh at yourself and he kinda… softens. 

by the middle of the dinner he’s leaned forward, muttering dry, sarcastic comments under his breath, and he looks at you like you’re the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. 

first kiss? rin walks you home and just STANDS there at your door, rigid. he wants to kiss you, but he’s overthinking it so hard he looks physically pained. 

you end up being the one to kiss him, and this boy literally freezes for a second like his brain blue-screened. then he kisses you back so earnestly it’s insane. his hand cradles the back of your head so gently you almost cry. 

after you go inside, he literally stands outside your door like an NPC, staring at the ground, replaying the kiss in his mind like a broken record. rin.exe has stopped working. 

dying to see you again but would rather perish than text first (he caves after 2 hours). 

itoshi sae

first of all, you’re lucky sae even agreed to a “date.” he’s allergic to the word. the second you called it that he gave you a look like you just asked him to help move a dead body. 

“it’s not a date. it’s just… hanging out.” (bro was sweating.) 

he shows up exactly on time, not a second early, not a second late, dressed way too casually for how hard he clearly thought about it. 

you’re a little nervous at first, but sae? sae is the human embodiment of 🧍‍♂️. he’s just standing there. hands in his pockets. blinking at you. 

you think maybe he’s bored, but every time you say something even a little funny, you catch him almost smiling before he kills it. he’s not fooling anybody. 

throughout dinner he’s casually devastating. when you tell him you were worried about picking a lame restaurant, he just tilts his head and says, “it’s fine. i’m not here for the food anyway.” 

he acts so casual, but he notices everything: your favorite dessert, the way you tap your fingers when you’re excited, the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you love. 

first kiss? sae is horrible at pretending he’s not thinking about it. when he walks you home, there’s this tension in the air. he keeps glancing at you sideways and looking away like you’re an eclipse he’s not supposed to stare at. 

at your door, there’s this long pause. you open your mouth to say goodbye and he just… leans in. 

it’s abrupt, almost clumsy, but his hand finds your jaw so gently you almost melt. 

the kiss itself is surprisingly soft, slow, like he’s tasting the feeling before letting himself have it. 

when you pull away, a little dazed, sae just gives you this tiny, smug smirk and says, “finally.” like it was your fault for making him wait. 

he doesn't text you that night. he shows up the next morning at your door with coffee like, “you’re free, right?” (he missed you immediately but he'd rather die than admit it.) 

kaiser michael

kaiser treats the first date like it’s the olympics. he's showing up with a bouquet so big you can't see his face, wearing designer clothes, and winking at you like he’s already won. 

the whole night, he’s borderline unbearable, complimenting you every five seconds, making everything into a flirty joke, acting like the entire restaurant should be jealous he has you. 

but every time you laugh for real, he visibly short-circuits and has to glance away for a second like he’s trying to get his heart rate back under control. 

first kiss? you’re teasing him at the end of the night, like, “wow, and here i thought the famous michael kaiser would be a better date” and he fake gasps, clutches his heart, and dramatically says he needs a kiss to recover. 

you roll your eyes and kiss him just to shut him up and this man literally freezes mid-banter. 

his hand finds your waist automatically and when he kisses back it's so much softer than you expect, almost like he’s afraid you’ll vanish. 

after the date he literally spins around in the street like a disney princess when no one’s looking (zesty ahh). 

yukimiya kenyu

yukimiya is SO composed on the surface, like he’s all suave and gentlemanly and giving you that dazzling movie-star smile, but internally he’s PANICKING. 

he spent two hours googling “how to impress your crush without looking desperate” before the date. 

during dinner, he’s super attentive – asking questions about your day, your hobbies, your favorite color – but the second you compliment him back, he short-circuits like a middle schooler. 

first kiss? he’s walking you home, holding your hand, and trying to play it cool, but he keeps sneaking glances at your lips. 

finally, right at your doorstep, he blurts, "i really want to kiss you right now," and immediately turns red like he didn't mean to say that out loud. 

you kiss him and poor yukimiya is so overwhelmed he literally stumbles back a step. ("sorry, i'm just– you’re really beautiful.") 

texts you that night: “i had a really amazing time. would love to see you again. if you’re free. no pressure. sorry. okay goodnight.” (he proofread that text five times.) 

mikage reo

reo shows up to the date like he’s starring in a rom-com. we’re talking reservations at the coolest new place in town, wearing the perfect outfit, absolutely beaming when he sees you. 

he treats you like royalty the entire night. hand on your lower back, pulling out your chair, feeding you bites off his plate, the works. 

he is also very obviously smitten. like, he laughs way too hard at your jokes and says “you’re seriously the cutest person alive” like three times without even realizing it. 

first kiss? reo gets nervous toward the end of the night because he wants it to be perfect. he’s actually sweating a little, double checking that his breath doesn’t smell like garlic. 

he walks you home, holding your hand and swinging it between you like the golden retriever bf he is, and right as you’re about to say goodbye, he just blurts out, “can i kiss you?” 

you say yes, and reo kisses you so sweetly and so enthusiastically you both start laughing halfway through because he’s literally smiling against your lips. 

immediately texts you after: “when can i see you again 😭😭😭💜” and plans like five more dates in his head before you even reply. 

isagi yoichi

isagi is both excited and absolutely terrified about the first date. this man is doing push-ups in his room beforehand to "get rid of the nerves" (it doesn't help.) 

he tries SO hard to seem casual but ends up being adorably dorky. like he almost pulls your chair out too far and you almost fall over (he apologizes for the next ten minutes). 

but he’s also SO easy to talk to. by the middle of the date, you’re laughing non-stop and realizing that being with isagi just feels right. 

first kiss? he walks you home and he’s so obviously trying to build up the courage to kiss you that it’s painful. like he keeps fidgeting, glancing at your lips, then looking away like he’s committed a crime. 

you finally have to gently nudge him, and he stammers out, "can i– is it okay if–" before you just kiss him first. 

isagi literally freezes with his hands half-raised, then kisses you back so shyly and sweetly you feel like you’re floating. 

after you go inside, he literally punches the air in victory and almost wakes up the whole neighborhood. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[goldfades]

★ HARD LAUNCH ───JOE BURROW

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 2k

⟢ ┈ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | requested by anon! kelce!sister x joe burrow, secret relationship.

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | obviously, taylor swift MENTIONED!! cause of course, i just had to. big brothers jason/travis, teasing, overall fluffy read

⟢ ┈ 𝐞𝐯'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 | this may be my new fav thing ever? having joe burrow, TAYLOR SWIFT, the kelces + kylie kelce in one family seems so fucking iconic and insane at the same time omg, i lowkey wanna make this a series

You don’t mean to catch his eye.

In fact, you’ve spent most of the evening trying very hard not to. At least, that’s what you’ll tell yourself later when the weight of it all feels too much, and you’re scrambling for a clean excuse to explain how it even started. Because that’s the thing about Joe Burrow—he’s not someone you plan for. He’s the unexpected storm on a clear day, knocking you off balance and leaving you to question if you’d ever been steady to begin with.

It’s Travis’s fault, really. Your brothers have this way of making themselves larger than life in every room they walk into, whether it’s Jason’s hearty laugh or Travis’s electric energy pulling people into his orbit. And you’re fine with it. Comfortable, even, in their shadows, where you can sip a beer, quietly people-watch, and dodge any unwanted attention. But tonight, at this NFL charity gala, the Kelce sibling spotlight is a little brighter, the event packed with athletes and reporters—people who know your last name. It’s harder to blend into the wallpaper, especially when you’re sandwiched between Jason’s dad jokes and Travis’s loud retelling of some outrageous offseason story.

And then there’s Joe. Sitting a few tables over, clad in a sleek black suit that fits him so well it’s borderline criminal, he looks… well, like Joe Burrow. Sharp jawline, blondish hair perfectly tousled, an air of calm confidence that somehow feels louder than any of the noise around him. He’s laughing at something—something Sam Hubbard said, probably—and you catch yourself staring just a second too long.

You’re not entirely sure who looks away first. All you know is that by the time the dessert plates are cleared and the speeches begin, you’re hyperaware of his presence. You can feel him across the room, like his attention is a physical thing brushing against your skin. It’s ridiculous, you tell yourself. He’s just... looking. It doesn’t mean anything.

Except it does.

It means everything when you’re stepping out onto the terrace for some air, your sleek, black and red YSL heels clicking softly against the stone, and you hear the door open behind you. You don’t have to turn around to know it’s him. There’s a shift in the atmosphere, a tension pulling taut like a string, and you’re suddenly grateful for the cool night air because your skin feels impossibly warm.

“You’re one of the Kelces, right?” His voice is low, a little rough around the edges, and somehow more disarming than you expected.

You glance over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Depends. Do you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing?”

He chuckles, stepping closer. There’s a deliberateness to his movements, like he’s not the type to rush but always knows exactly where he’s going. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“Fair.” You turn fully now, leaning back against the railing. He’s even more striking up close, the sharp lines of his face softened by the golden glow of the terrace lights. For a moment, you’re not sure what to say. Then, because your brothers raised you to never back down from a challenge, you smirk. “And you’re Joe Burrow. Didn’t think you’d need an introduction.”

“I don’t. But I’m still glad we’re having this conversation.”

You roll your eyes, but you can’t stop the small laugh that escapes. “Do lines like that usually work for you?”

“Don’t know,” he says, leaning casually against the railing beside you. “You tell me.”

And just like that, you’re hooked. Not in the obvious way, where fireworks explode and violins play in the background. It’s subtler than that, a slow burn you feel deep in your gut—like the start of something you shouldn’t want but can’t seem to resist. Because Joe Burrow isn’t the kind of guy you go looking for, but now that he’s found you, you’re not sure you want him to let go.

And a few months later, the relationship between you and Joe isn’t just an open secret—it’s become a storm of speculation. The internet sleuths had started piecing things together long before either of you admitted it, thanks to vague Instagram posts, overlapping locations and that one time someone spotted you in the background of a Bengals training camp photo.

Still, you’ve both remained tight-lipped, dodging questions and letting the rumors simmer on their own. It’s worked so far, but keeping something like this under wraps when your last name is Kelce and his is Burrow? It feels impossible most days.

The rumors, though, are front and center when Jason and Travis bring it up on New Heights. It starts innocently enough—one of their usual tangents about social media chaos. But then Jason, ever the instigator, leans in with a mischievous grin.

“So, Trav,” he says, dragging it out just enough to make Travis squint suspiciously. “What’s this I’m hearing about our baby sister and a certain quarterback?”

Travis groans dramatically, throwing his head back like he’s already tired of the conversation. “Man, here we go.”

“No, no, seriously,” Jason presses, laughing. “It’s all over Twitter. ‘Joe and the Kelce Sister’—people are going crazy.”

Travis tries to deflect, muttering something about people needing hobbies, but Jason isn’t letting it go.

“I mean, listen,” Jason continues, grinning directly at the camera now. “I’m not saying I believe it, but if it were true… Joe Burrow? Not a bad pick, kid. Not a bad pick.”

Travis finally gives in, throwing up his hands. “Alright, alright! Let’s settle this once and for all.” He swivels toward the camera with exaggerated seriousness. “Get her on the phone.”

The producers, who are clearly loving this, cut to a break while Travis pulls out his phone and FaceTimes you. You answer after a couple of rings, your face appearing on screen with a mix of amusement and mild annoyance.

“What do you want?” you ask, already bracing yourself.

Jason wastes no time. “Alright, tell the people: are you or are you not dating Joe Burrow?”

You roll your eyes, trying not to laugh. “Seriously? That’s why you called me?”

“Yes, seriously!” Jason says, leaning forward like he’s trying to peer through the phone. “I need to know if I should be worried about a potential Bengals-Kelce family feud.”

“I’m not even answering that,” you say, shaking your head. “You guys are ridiculous.”

“Okay, okay,” Travis cuts in, holding up his hands. “But just… hypothetically, if you were dating him, what would you say about the guy? Like, first impressions.”

You narrow your eyes at the screen, knowing exactly what he’s trying to do. But you can’t help it—you smirk, your tone deliberately nonchalant. “I mean, hypothetically… he’s not a bad-looking person.”

Both brothers lose it, Jason practically howling with laughter while Travis points dramatically at the camera. “Not a bad-looking person!” he repeats. “That’s all we’re getting?”

You shrug, keeping your expression as deadpan as possible. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Alright, fine,” Jason says, wiping his eyes. “We’ll let you off the hook for now. But just know, we’re watching.”

You laugh, shaking your head as you hang up. But the damage is done—the clip is bound to go viral within hours. And you know the internet will analyze every single word you just said, dissecting it for confirmation that, yes, Joe Burrow and a Kelce sibling are absolutely a thing.

As you sit back on your couch, phone buzzing with texts from friends who caught the livestream, you can’t help but wonder how long you and Joe can keep this secret before it all inevitably comes spilling out. But for now, you smile to yourself, thinking about the way Joe teased you about your brothers earlier that morning. He’d probably find this whole thing hilarious.

—

The off-season brings a rare stretch of peace for both you and Joe, a time when the usual chaos of his schedule fades into long days and quiet nights. You’d been looking forward to the annual Kelce family lake trip all year, a week of boat rides, bonfires, and general shenanigans with your brothers, their partners, and a rotating cast of nieces and nephews. But this time, Joe is here too, woven seamlessly into the fabric of your family life in a way that's both surreal and comforting.

The trip itself is perfect. Joe is surprisingly great at keeping up with the Kelce energy—he plays cornhole with Travis like they’ve been doing it for years, listens patiently to Jason’s never-ending dad stories, and even lets your mom convince him to try her "world-famous" potato salad (a task not taken lightly). Your dad, famously hard to impress, quietly declares Joe "a good kid," which might as well be a five-star review.

The vibe is even more electric this year, thanks to a certain high-profile addition to the Kelce orbit: Taylor Swift. She’d tagged along with Travis, her easy charm and megawatt presence somehow blending seamlessly with your loud, loving family. Taylor and Joe hit it off surprisingly well—you’d caught them once, deep in conversation about some indie band neither of them expected the other to know. And when Taylor found out Joe was a secret Swiftie, she’d teased him mercilessly, promising to quiz him on song lyrics over dinner.

The two of you have been careful so far, sticking to the usual boundaries when phones are out and cameras are snapping. But then comes the moment. The hard launch.

You don’t know he’s planning it. It’s Joe, after all—calm, collected, never one to do anything impulsive without a hundred layers of thought. The picture goes live on his Instagram late in the afternoon, just as the sun is starting to dip below the trees.

The photo is subtle in that effortless, Joe Burrow way, but anyone with eyes can see what it is. It’s a snapshot of the dock, golden light reflecting off the water. You’re sitting with your back to the camera, legs dangling off the edge, wearing an oversized Bengals hoodie that could only belong to one person. Joe’s in the frame too, though only partially—just his legs stretched out next to you, and his hand resting casually on your knee. There’s no caption, just the kind of emoji Joe loves to use, simple and vague—a single wave 🌊

The internet explodes.

You realize it’s out when your phone starts buzzing nonstop, notifications lighting up your screen like fireworks. Group texts, Instagram DMs, Twitter tags—everyone and their mom has an opinion about the post. Your brothers are the first to call.

Joe wanders into the kitchen then, shirtless and still damp from a swim, his hair curling slightly from the lake water. He raises an eyebrow when he sees you on the phone, and you wave him over, switching to speaker.

“Speaking of,” Jason says loudly. “Joey! Nice post, buddy.”

Joe smirks, leaning casually against the counter. “Thanks. Figured it was time.”

“Time?!” Travis is howling now. “You just dropped the most casual ‘we’re dating’ announcement of all time, and all you’ve got is ‘figured it was time’?”

Joe shrugs, unbothered. “Seemed like the right vibe.”

Jason sighs dramatically. “Well, congrats, I guess. You’re officially one of us now.”

“Welcome to the family,” Travis chimes in, still laughing. “But just know, you’re never gonna live this down.”

Joe grins, glancing at you, his expression softening. “I can handle it.”

Later that night, as the two of you sit by the fire, Taylor strumming a guitar nearby while your brothers argue about s’mores ratios, your phone buzzes intermittently with notifications. You can’t help but marvel at how unshaken Joe is by all of it. He just laughs when you bring it up, pulling you closer and resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Let them talk,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple. “We’ve got nothing to hide anymore.”

And as the fire crackles and your family’s laughter drifts through the night, you realize he’s right. The world knows now, and somehow, it doesn’t feel scary—it feels freeing.

[tpwk-formula1]

I would love to place an order!! Thick crust with Red sauce and topped with jalepenos, artichokes, roasted mushrooms, prosciutto, pulled pork, and pancetta served by Lando and Oscar….

(Thinking maybe Zak’s daughter 🤪)

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

thick crust sugar daddy red sauce rough sex jalapenos "Always such a fucking brat" artichokes "Imagine your father saw you now. On your knees like a proper trained slut for me to use" roasted mushrooms "Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy” proscuitto "I love making this pretty pussy squirt" pulled pork "God, I love when I fuck the attitude out of you" pancetta "Your father always finds a way to piss me off" pink lemonade degrading kink vodka soda squirting dessert no served by Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri

Oscar x Lando x Brown! reader

AN - okay so my computer broke while writing this 😃 so I finished on my phone and will be getting my computer fixed sometime tomorrow and hopefully will be posting more tomorrow night!!

TW - fingering, squirting, double penetration, multiple orgasms, blow job, pussy eating, light M x M

WC

Y/N POV

"Pick one, gorgeous," Lando tells me softly while pulling me into his arms as we look at the different Louis Vuitton sunglasses.

"Lando, I have to save to travel the rest of the season. Sure my dad is paying for my travel but I want to be able to splurge the last little bit of the year," I respond back while moving out of his arms and towards Oscar who was looking at luggage.

"How many do you think you'll need?" Oscar asks while looking at the few designs the store had in stock.

"Oscar, none. I will need none. I have suitcases already. What are you and Lando even on right now?" I ask softly while Lando approaches up.

"We'll take two of these," Oscar told the worker while pointing to a large LV rolling trunk in the classic print with fuchsia accents.

"Oscar, what the fuck are you on? What are both of you guys on?" I whisper shout to both of the boys who just stare back at me with a smile.

"The deal," Lando responds making me think back to a few weeks ago when Lando and Oscar had offered to take me to bed in exchange for a shopping spree. I had in fact gone back with them that night but I had no intentions of using the shopping spree. I was content with the thought of spending the night with them and maybe more than just one.

"I thought it was a joke. I was more than happy to spend a night with you two," I tell them as the worker comes back with the new luggage as well as 3 different pairs of sunglasses.

"What the hell Lando," I asked horrified that he went ahead and picked several different pairs.

"You didn't tell me which ones you liked so I grabbed the ones you had picked up and looked at," Lando responds with a bright smile.

We where currently in Milan shopping around, and I had bought a few things here and there but for the most part I was just happy to be with the boys and watching them purchase the things they wanted.

"You're insane, help me pick ONE pair," I respond back while looking through the three pairs and finding my favorite and showing the boys.

"They're yours!" Lando cheers with excitement clearly written all over his face.

"You're insane," I laugh while handing the other two pairs back to the worker and handing Lando the sunglasses I had picked.

When we leave the Louis Vuitton store I ask if we can head back to the hotel. The boys agreed and we made our way back to our hotel.

When we got into the hotel I rushed into the bathroom and changed into a new lingerie set I had picked out while the boys were grabbing us food so neither of them knew what I had gotten.

"Hey, would you guys be able to come in here for a second," I call out to the boys while sticking my head out the bathroom door?

When I see both of the boys come into the bedroom part of the hotel suite I see a confused look written all over Lando's face and Oscar is waiting for me to explain with a raised brow.

"So when you guys went and grabbed food I bought something and I really hope you like it and don't think I look silly," I admit softly before opening the door to reveal the lacy black lingerie set I had picked out and was now wearing.

I watch the boy's reactions intently hoping I didn't get the wrong idea with everything.

"Fuck," I hear Lando mutter with wide eyes while Oscar is just observing the way it looked on me with a slight tint of pink on his cheeks.

"Look so good baby," Oscar finally speaks up while taking a step towards me and pulling me into him while placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"Okay, good! I was worried I was getting the wrong idea and it was only a one-off thing," I admit softly making Lando laugh as he steps behind me keeping me sandwiched between both of the boys.

As Lando is kissing my neck we are interrupted when I hear one of our phones go off making Lando groan and find the culprit.

"Your father always finds a way to piss me off," Lando says while handing my phone to show me that my dad, his boss was calling making me laugh while answering.

"Hey! How is your solo vacation going?" My dad asked through the phone making the boys smirk at me when they realize I had told my dad I was taking a solo trip.

"It's good! Just been enjoying the sun and a bit of shopping," I tell my dad as I watch Oscar get on his knees in front of me while Lando stands behind me.

Oscar pulls my lingerie to the side before taking a lick out of my soaked folds forcing me to hold back the moan I want to let out. I lean agaisnt Lando as Oscar picks up on my legs and lets it rest against his shoulder as he continues to eat me out as I talk to my dad about my trip. All being the truth of what I've been doing but keeping the fact that I'm with his two drivers a secret.

As the phone call is starting to wrap up I feel myself getting close to the edge making me try to push Oscar away not wanting to have an orgasm while on the phone with my dad.

"Alright, well I'll let you enjoy the rest of your week! Love you kid, I'll call tomorrow," I hear my dad tells me making me sign in relief.

"Love you too dad! Talk to you tomorrow," I rush out before ending the call and falling over the edge into a powerful orgasm.

"Fuck, Osc!" I cry out as I let my orgasm wash over me. I feel Oscar slip two of his fingers into my pussy not letting me come down from my orgasm fully before he is finger fucking my sensitive pussy almost instantly pulling a squirting orgasm out of me. I can feel my orgasm soaking everything near me, leaving me shaking in Lando's arms as Oscar continues to finger me through my orgasm.

"Fuck!" I scream out getting overwhelmed with the pleasure coursing through.

"I love making this pretty pussy squirt," Oscar groans while slipping his fingers out of me before standing up and pulling Lando in for a heated kiss making my knees grow weak at the two secret lovers express themselves truely.

"She tastes divine," Lando says when Oscar pulls away licking his lips for show. I can feel my face growing hot at the sight but can't deny the dull throb coursing through me.

I turn around allowing myself to face Lando before pulling Oscar to stand close to Lando before I sink onto my knees and start pulling off the boy's pants before taking both of their cocks into my hands.

"Fuck, she's such a well trained whore for us," Lando says while smirking at Oscar.

"Imagine her father saw her now. On her knees like a proper trained slut for us to use," Oscar says back to Lando making me whine at the teasing words.

I lean down and take Oscar into my mouth making him hiss at the feeling of my wet lips wrapping around his sensitive cock.

"Fuck," He groans when I start bobbing my head but quickly pull away and start giving Lando the same treatment while jerking Oscar off. I repeat this process a few times until Lando pulls me up by my hair and leads me to the bed where he pushes me onto it letting my back hit the matteress while he spreads my legs.

"Damn, be gentle! I'm not unbreakable," I tease with an eye roll making Oscar look at me with a cocked brow.

"Watch the attitude," Lando replies back.

"Make me," I reply back with a faint smirk on my face knowing it was just gonna rial him up. I feel Lando slipping the bottoms of my lingerie set off before roughly shoving his cock into my pussy leaving me no time to adjust to his size.

"Fuck, Lando so good," I moan loudly when I can feel Lando's large cock repetitively hit my sweet spots only he and Oscar had ever been able to find.

"God, I love when I fuck the attitude out of you," Lando teases while still fucking me at the brutal pace.

I can feel my next orgasm start approaching when lando slipped out of my cock and flipped us over so I was now riding his cock while Oscar slips behind us rubbing his fingers along my asshole leaving behind a cool gel I assume is lube.

"Fuck," I gasp when I feel Oscar's fingers slip into my ass stretching me out further.

"I'm gonna cum," I moan when Oscar and Lando start thrusting at the exact same time. I feel myself starting to cumm all over Lando's cock and Oscar's fingers.

I haven't even come down from the last orgasm when I feel the tip of Oscar's cock start pushing into my ass making me whimper. I had been so lost in my pleasure I didn't even notice him slipping his fingers out of my ass.

"Relax," Oscar whispers into my ear before he moves my hair to the side and starts kissing my neck. Lando has stopped his thrusting and started rubbing my clit softly trying to get me to relax enough to fully take both of their cocks at the same time.

"Fuck," I scream out when I feel Oscar bottom out in my ass fully stretching me to a whole new level.

"It's too mcuh," I cry trying to climb out of their laps but Lando gently holds me down.

"Relax sweet girl," Lando tells me while bringing his fingers back to my clit and rubbing circles. I could feel another orgasm starting to build almost instantly with how stimulated being compltetly full made me.

"Move slowly Osc," Lando grunts when he cn feel my pussy flutter around him with an approaching orgasm.

"Fuck, fuck fuck," I start moan chanting while Oscar is slowly rocking his hips in and out of me trying to allow me to get used to the stretch before fully fucking me.

When I feel Lando start thrusting up into me I can't help but start to cry at how overwhelming the pleasure has become.

"Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy,” Lando grunts out making me look down to see the bulge every time he fucks up into me.

"Fuck, we stretched her so much we made room in her tummy," Oscar groans while looking over my shoulder to see the bulge Lando was creating.

"Oh fuck," I scream out when Lando brings his fingers back to my clit throwing me over the edge almost instantly.

"Fuck, soaking us again," Lando said with a smirk as I continue to squirt all over him and some of the back splashes hitting Oscar too.

With one final thrust into my ass I feel Oscar start to unlesh his hot cum in my ass making me whimper at the feeling. When he slips out of my ass I gasp at the feeling of his cum leaking from a hole I had never had cum leak out of.

"Fuck, she's so tight," Lando groans even without Oscar seated in my ass Lando was still being tightly hugged by my pussy walls.

I feel Lando start to pick up his pace clearly getting closer to the edge before he lifts and drops me down on his cock one final time before unleashing a massive load deep into my pussy making me moan.

When he's come down from his high he slowly slips out of me. Oscar comes bear us almost instantly with a warm rag where he cleans me off first before cleaning Lando off and climbing into bed on my other side.

Once we where all comfortable I start running my fingers through Lando’s hair as Oscar runs his fingers up my hips.

“That was perfect,” I announce softly making Lando give us a lazy smile a nod.

“Did so good for us! Took us so well,” Oscar says while kissing my cheek and leaning past me and giving Lando a quick soft kiss.

“We want you to be our,” Oscar announces softly making me turn my head towards him.

“Really? I would love that,” I reply back softly before pulling Oscar in for a proper kiss before turning back to Lando and kissing him.

[megu-meow]

when gojo falls in love - gojo satoru

gojo satoru x fem. reader

Summary: She fell first, but he fell harder.

It was hard not to fall in love with Gojo Satoru. He was a ray of sunshine, always lifting the mood in every room, radiating the friendliest, kindest aura you have ever witnessed. His youthful, laid-back personality complemented his intelligence and wit, always having a funny comeback to Suguru's constant teasing.

He seemed so unapproachable to you, the Strongest, the Honored One, the Heir of the Gojo Clan, the Wielder of the Six Eyes, and Master of the Limitless. Those were the titles he was referred to in your crazy world, someone who was to be praised for the immense power he wielded and the enemies he had eliminated. However, you saw Satoru in a different light, finding other reasons to praise him. The gentleness he would befriend a stray cat with, the way he politely bows at the cashier at his favorite bakery, or the fact that he makes soup for everyone after a night out to cure your hangovers. He buys a bouquet of tulips for every girl and woman on Jujutsu Tech's campus, without exception, on International Women's Day. He remembers the lunch lady's son's birthday and gives her the remote-control car the young boy so desperately wanted because he knew Watanabe-sama, as he refers to her, could never afford it. He sits down to play chess with the elderly man in front of the convenience store every day because he knows he lost his opponent for the last 40 years not too long ago.

It is easy to fall in love with Gojo Satoru, however, it is hard for Gojo Satoru to fall in love. Or at least, that's what he thinks. At first, when you join them, he doesn't give much thought to it. He's pleased that there is another girl added to the group, so he and Suguru don't have to listen to Shoko's constant whining about them being gross anymore. He also relishes in the attention you give him, because he knows you're quite infatuated with him, like most of the girls are.

However, as time passes, he realizes that your kindness makes a red hue run across his pale cheeks. Every time he does the smallest things, you praise him for it. Others don't compliment him on his politeness, something he prides himself on because his mother taught him to act this way - the only person who loved him for him so far. Other people praise him for his technique, his unique eyes, and his otherworldly good looks. You're the only one who notices the small things he does and that warms his fragile heart. So he asks you out on a date.

He doesn't give it much thought, just a walk in the park full of cherry blossoms and ice cream. However, he swoons at the fact that you seem like this is the best date you have ever been on, you thank him repeatedly for paying for your ice cream and offer him the Kit Kat chunk the guy stuck into your dessert as an attempt to flirt with you, because you know Satoru loves Kit Kats, they're his favorite candy bar.

Gojo Satoru reaches one important conclusion that night, after walking you to your dorm room. You are, in fact, very easy to fall in love with.

Instead of fighting it, he lets this new feeling flourish. He starts putting in an insane amount of effort, he pays attention to the small things, he drinks up every word that you speak, he takes notes on his phone because he wants to walk the extra mile for you. His new goal in life becomes making you, the first girl who looks past the titles and likes him for him, happy. His enthusiasm in doing so never falters, even after years together or after marriage.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asks you as his extremely perceptive eyes take in your slumped shoulders, the dark circles under your eyes and the slight frown that replaces the pretty smile he fell in love with.

"Long day, baby, long day." you sigh and he is quick on his feet, he embraces you, leaving a loving kiss on the crown of your head.

"Change your wizarding clothes, pretty girl, I'll run you a bath. How does that sound, huh?"

"Amazing, Satoru. Thank you!" you respond, smiling tiredly, leaving a kiss on his glossy lips.

"Everything for you."

Not only does he prepare a bath, but he also lights some candles, drops some lavender-infused salts in the water, and prepares some fruits and your book as well. While you relax your body in the water which is the perfect temperature, he makes your favorite meal for dinner and starts up the fireplace so that the two of you can cuddle up on the couch.

After dinner he holds you close, absentmindedly running his hands over your back, in your hair, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, small confessions that make you feel a lot better about yourself. Satoru would like to think that he is perfect at everything, but there's only one thing he takes pride in the most: learning how to make you feel better over the years. He always knows what to do, regardless of the reason why you're down. He knows how to pick you up.

"Toru?" he hears your voice, calling him by his favorite nickname. It makes him blush every time you call him that and he swears his heart picks up too.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Don't you ever get tired of taking care of me?"

"How could you say that?" he asks as he sits up, glaring at you with offended eyes "Of course not, baby. You're my everything, I could never get tired of making you feel good, love. It is also my duty as your lover to ensure your happiness. It's in my contract and everything." he makes you smile fondly, adoring his way of phrasing these things. Because even the hardest of conversations are pleasant when Satoru is there to put things so stupidly.

"Oh yeah? What else is in this contract of yours?"

"That I have to kiss you all the time. And - and that I will have to get you a cat at one point because I know you want one. I have to feed you when you're hungry and I have to do the laundry when you get home late. Oh, and most importantly I always have to split my desserts with you. Only you, not even Suguru gets to do splitsies."

"I see. And what is in my contract?"

"Nothing. You already honored yours." he says curtly and you look at him with confusion.

"How?"

"Well, the only thing in your contract was that you have to be my lover. Nothing else. I'm the one doing the heavy lifting here, every day I get to spend as your significant other is a good day for me. You don't have to do anything else to make me happy." he explains.

You look him in the eyes, your irises filled with nothing but adoration towards the man in front of you. It is so easy to be in love with Gojo Satoru, because he is a gentleman in a world of boys.

[itneverendshere]

the first dinner having kie over as jjs girlfriend, she’s so nervous because she knows how protective you are of jj. and rafe is laughing at how intimated she is with you 😭

It’s the first dinner since JJ and Kie finally got their shit together and made things official.

You always knew JJ loved Kie, everyone with eyes did. He never thought he deserved her. So now, seeing her choose him, choose the mess and the loyalty and the absolutely unhinged love he offers, is enough reason to celebrate.

Everyone’s over at your place for a casual hang, even though there's hardly enough space.

Cheap beer, homemade tacos, shitty string lights and the speaker playing some old playlist JJ made in 2019.

You’re behind the bar setup, when you notice Kie being...weird. She’s sitting next to JJ but acting like she’s on a job interview. She's laughing at everything you say, being super polite and every time you look in her direction, she straightens up.

You're refilling drinks when you notice her practically freeze when you approach.

“Need more lemonade?” you ask with a friendly smile.

She flinches. 

You blink. “...Kie, you okay?”

“Yep! Yep—love lemonade. Big lemonade girl.”

You exchange a confused look with Rafe across the table, and he's already biting his lip to stifle a chuckle.

It only gets weirder from then on.

The entire dinner, she's cautious with what she says to JJ and keeps nodding along to everything you say, as if you're the Pope. When you excuse yourself to grab dessert, Rafe follows you inside, snickering under his breath.

“What?” you ask, pulling brownies from the oven.

He leans against the counter. "You seriously don’t see it?”

“See what?”

He snorts. “Kie. She’s terrified of you.”

You turn, offended. “She is not!”

“Baby.” He raises an eyebrow. 

“What? No, she’s nervous. New relationship jitters.”

“No, babe.” He laughs. “She’s nervous around you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah.” He pulls a brownie off the plate. “She thinks you’re gonna throw hands if she hurts JJ.”

You stare at him, confused. “That’s insane. We’ve been friends since we were kids.”

“But now she’s dating JJ, and suddenly you’re his mom.”

You whip a towel at him. “I am not his mom!”

“You kind of are,” he laughs, ducking out of the way. “'Don’t let him drive the dirt bike at night, JJ forgot his inhaler again, someone make sure he eats.'”

You scoff, faux offended. “That’s called being a responsible adult.”

“Sure, but from their perspective? You raised him. She’s terrified of disappointing you.”

You pause, the realization settling in.

“Oh my god. I thought she was being weird because it’s her first real relationship.”

“Nope. She thinks you’re gonna kill her if she breaks his heart.”

Huh. That actually...makes sense. You think back to earlier in the night—how Kie looked at JJ like he hung the stars, but flinched as if you were gonna strike her down if she said the wrong thing.

“She’s scared of me,” you mumble, more to yourself than to Rafe.

He hums, smug. “A little.”

JJ’s your boy. He always has been and not in that overused, found-family, pogue-life way, but in a real way. You remember giving him half your tips to cover gas because he didn’t want to tell John B he was broke again. You sat with him all night after that fight with his dad, both of you staring at the ceiling because sleep was out of the question.

He looks happy and that’s rare for someone like him—he's spent most of his life expecting the worst. It does something to your chest, your heart's too soft tonight.

You blink fast, pressing the heel of your hand to your eye. You sniff once, aggressively. You weren't planning on getting emotional in the damn kitchen over JJ finally getting the girl.

“You’re... tearing up over brownies and JJ being in love.”

You swat his stomach, but you’re smiling again, and okay—your eyes are still watery, but who cares? You’re allowed to be sensitive about this. JJ’s in love.

You shoot him a look. “Don’t mock me, Cameron.”

He lifts his hands. “Not mocking. Just... observing.”

You glare. “That’s worse.”

Rafe doesn’t say anything, even though you’re used to being the watcher—it still surprises you how good it feels to be seen, to be read like a book and loved anyway.

“Hey,” he nudges your hip with his. “You’re happy for him.”

You scoff. “Of course I’m happy. Took him long enough.”

He laughs, pulling you in by your waist. His chin rests on your shoulder as you both look out the kitchen window, where JJ and Kie are laughing about something, his arm slung around her shoulders, her hand on his knee.

You sigh happily.

“He’s all heart, ” you murmur. “Always has been. Even when it got him hurt.”

“You’re crying again.”

Yep. Whole-ass tears now. Not sad, only overwhelmed.

You groan, watery. “What the hell is happening to me?”

He kisses your forehead. "You're real pretty when you’re emotional.”

You straighten up in his arms, “C’mon. Let’s go mess with her a little. Just for fun.”

“Nevermind."

[mogamuncher]

Heeey I'm back! It's finally time for the full Cakeverse analysis gang!

Ok, so, for a refresher:

There's the Forks, the Cakes and the Plates (normal people), and it goes like this:

Plates are just normal people, the majority of the world population, nothing new here.

Forks: Can't taste and sometimes can't smell either, sometimes they used be able to taste but lost it with age; either way, they can only ever taste cakes.

Cakes: Basically normal people except that they're delicious, everything from them (flesh, tears, saliva, etc) tastes like cake (or other foods if you want). You can't tell who's a cake or not unless you're a Fork that's tasting them in some way.

Now, I have to add some stuff that's really interesting and that the og author said, that we'll be getting into today.

• Forks go absolutely bat shit insane when they taste the Cakes most of the time, that can lead to a lot of things, cannibalism, sex, or (if you're cultured) both.

• Both Cakes and Forks suffer from their own societal plights. Cakes die a lot, and Forks when discovered are instantly pinned as murderers, criminals and perverts, even if they haven't done anything wrong yet.

• Cakes can derail a Fork's entire life, and Forks are like sin and temptation to Cakes.

Now, I want to talk about these because they absolutely fucking vexed me and now I want to make this all of y'all's problem.

「The First Taste」

It's essentially a common rule as said by the author that the Forks go insane after feeling the taste of a Cake, now, let's talk about: Why?

See, Cakeverse is technically an Au based from the likes of Omegaverse, which you can see by the structure being similar to Alpha/Beta/Omega with the three types of people out there. But, in ABO the Alphas going insane is due to a specific event, heats, which are there specifically for reproduction and are said to bring out animal instincts out of people's control, while Forks are based on simply taste, food, and not something as biological.

Of course it's up to the individual writer to an extent, but my interpretation of why Forks lose it when they taste Cakes is more psychological when compared to Alphas in the Omegaverse.

Imagine that you are completely unable to see color, never once have you seen one, you grew up hearing all about how wonderful colors are, you saw others compliment the colors of several works of art, you heard all about the colors of the world around you, but all that you see is beige and grey. Now, imagine that one day you bump into someone, and suddenly you're able to see all the colors, for the first time ever in your life, you can finally experience blue skies and green grass, you can see the same way the rest of the world sees, something that was fundamentally missing from you is finally gifted to you by this stranger on a silver tray.

You're finally complete.

That's the reality of what Forks go through, years of eating tasteless food, seeing people enjoy food wholeheartedly and rant about the tastes, hearing about the differences between expensive food and cheap food, and then suddenly finally tasting cake. Of course they go insane and fixate on it, it's like the final puzzle piece finally sliding into place, something that they've been missing this whole time being manifested with only a taste.

Before, eating was a chore, something simply to survive there was no joy in it, no fun to be found in desserts or snacks, but with only a single kiss the Fork finally feels what it is like to crave food, to want food for the taste.

Cakeverse in nature is oddly psychological, playing with the concept of taking away something extremely core to the human experience, taste. It's inherent and everyone has it, you'd probably feel like a freak of nature if you didn't have something while everyone else has, right?

That's what Cakes bring Forks; normalcy, joy and purpose, it's basically like a shot of endorphins all at once straight into your bloodstream, there's a good chance it'd hit like a truck and fuck you up majorly.

Forks acting rashly probably looks different than when Alphas do the same, because the motive is inherently different, but the desperation is arguably more raw.

A lot can be written on what that reaction would be:

Immediately trying to taste the Cake (kissing, licking, biting), trying to play cool only to strike later (potential kidnapping, manipulation, planning and scheming in general), the Fork can try to resist temptation or maybe the Cake can notice the extreme reaction and run away, maybe the Cake can instigate and bait the Fork to take a bite.

It could lead to fluff, to relationships starting, relationships ending, it could smut, it could be gory cannibalism, hell, it could be both.

Either way, the sheer amount of character study that could be made out of this tidbit alone is insane, and the story concepts don't stop there!

「We Do, In Fact, Live In a Society」

Cakes don't know who they are until it's too late, but I can imagine that in society they'd be treated with a lot of extra care if they are known beforehand, as they are constantly in risk of dying.

Imagine that they'd also be majorly babyfied, the "nooo poor babies that can't do anything wrong, poor helpless and weak Cakes, they clearly can't take care of themselves, they're so vulnerable, don't worry I'll speak for you to protect your honor" would be insane. Any Cake that consensually and willingly gets with a Fork will be doubted if they truly wanted to do it, think nosy people pulling them aside to ask if they're ok and pressing to see if they're abused, think people immediately thinking that Cakes can't consent to anything with a Fork on principle despite them being grown adults.

Online discourse would definitely have people saying "Cakes are minor coded" or some shit, mark my words.

While Forks would be instantly persecuted for everything. Because of something they didn't choose, that was inherited at birth, they now are fully seem as murderers, kidnappers, rapists and just the lowest of the low. People will gossip, people will get defensive, people will cower any time you slightly raise your voice, you're seen as a predator, treated no different than a wild bear. To society at large, you're an unruly dog, and all eyes will be on you forever, watching, waiting for the day that you take a bite.

In a sense, it's almost like any Forks that do commit crimes instantly have a justification to do so, it's expected, really, you're a Fork, of course you'd snap one day. It's both maligned and normalized, everyone expects it and it almost gives Forks a reason to do so. Forever a self fulfilling prophecy.

Now I'm sorry that I'll keep bringing the Omegaverse up, it's just that it's really handy for comparison, but I find it fascinating that in a way, the societal effects of this are a mish mesh of the societal views seen in ABO, but like, in a way that doesn't make me want to vomit.

Can I be so fr with you guys right now? I don't like the societal parts of the Omegaverse, ever since I was a kid in the early hay days of the internet, that always made me uncomfortable, and it's also a bit lazy in a way. The problems in society with the Omegaverse are basically just Sexism, it's misogyny with mpreg, and a lot of fics end up feeling like a Handmaiden's Tale with mpreg. Replace Alphas with men and Omegas with Women and you get the Omegaverse, though it gets a bit interesting since there technically is a built-in "fuck or die" and aphrodisiac system with heats/ruts, but very few writers do something interesting with it.

My problem is that it's always either uncomfortable or outright boring, very little fics do it well and most of the time authors simply choose to side step it altogether, which I completely understand and actually prefer at this point.

I bring all this up because Cakeverse actually brings a lot of interesting concepts up in it's consequences on the world at large, the nature of Forks and Cakes mirrors a lot of real life concepts, but leaves enough fantastical elements that there's still intrigue in what could be explored and seem from authors writing certain details of it.

Would there be Cake support groups? Would there be Fork rights activists? Would there be people who are both Forks and Cakes, like a hybrid type? What are different relationship types seen as in the eyes of society as a whole?

It's all so complicated and the problems are different between the both of them, also, they're evenly split, which is a breath of fresh air.

Now, it's time to get even deeper into this, what are exactly Forks and Cakes relationship with each other like?

「Would You Still Love Me If I Was Cake?」

According to the author, Cakes can derail a Fork's life and Forks are temptation to Cakes. Now, why is that?

Imagine you're a Fork, living your life trying to do what you can with what's been handed to you, probably being discriminated against if you haven't been able to hide it well, when suddenly you taste someone (kiss or by accident, like a shared water bottle), and next thing you know you lose your mind. Your entire world falls apart, thoughts of dreams, future, your own sense of morality, it all melts away like sugar in water because you just experienced heaven and now it's all you can think about.

Someone completely normal beforehand, suddenly driven to obsession with just one moment, an entire life detailed into the unknown because they just had a taste of cake, thoughts being all about one person and their taste, the inability to stop even you're desperate to do so. It's madness, and almost like a tragedy, doomed by their own personal narrative of Fork meets Cake, the Forks turns into a starving beast whether they want to or not.

But Cakes? Imagine you have someone you love, and they want you so badly it drives them mad, imagine kissing the same lips that want to be stained with your taste, imagine putting yourself in the way of jaws that any of these days can close down on you and swallow you whole. You're constantly in contact with someone that could just straight up eat you, consume you whole and leave nothing behind, but your heart aches for them, you present yourself in a silver platter again and again.

Maybe you want to be eaten, to be consumed. Maybe you like being wanted, maybe you enjoy providing something to to others, you made them so happy that it doesn't even matter to you that they are taking chunks out of you, you'll gladly let yourself be torn apart if it means someone else is satisfied.

It's all about the usage of "Cannibalism as a Metaphor for Love™", it's all about loving someone but constantly wanting to eat them into non-existence, it's about to struggle between your brain heart and stomach.

It's about having your cake and eating it too.

The themes, the metaphors, the opportunities are endless and frankly I'm driving myself insane just imagining all of it, the angst also would be utterly fucking insane, imagine you live someone and you eat them, wouldn't you be upset? You loved them and you killed them yourself, with your own hands, their taste is on your lips and you licked your plate clean.

I'm screaming and crying and throwing up as we speak, the number of things you can do here are endless, soooo. . . Let's talk about some of my ideas!

「All My Fanfiction Titles Are Just Songs」

Last post I basically tagged a bunch of fandoms that I wish would use this trope (I'll also be doing that with this post), so now I'm going to showing some of the ideas I had for this AU that I might or might not write in the future, all of which you guys are totally free to use as prompts as well (just tag me on them lmao)

So, going ship by ship:

「Loveit」: Dead Plate fanfic, Vincent x Rody, Fork!Vincent and Cake!Rody. I imagine that the moment Vincent finds out is during the Best Served Hot ending, after biting Rody's ear, his reaction would show instantly on his face and Rody would notice right away. After that it can lead to a lot of things, fighting, smut and cannibalism galore, their relationship would only get more complicated after such a discovery. Hell, you can even have Vincent find out earlier, if you truly want more juicy drama, maybe Vincent will attempt to make Rody into the meal instead of Mason this time? For funsies you could even reverse it, Rody as a Fork would be fascinating to see, him bonding with Vincent that he also can't taste anything, only for him to find out later that he can taste Vincent himself, holy shit the intrigue.

「Eat You」: Death Note, Lawlight, Fork!Light and Cake!L. Imagine Light both having to hide the fact that he's Kira, but also having to hide the fact that he's a Fork, imagine the never leaving stain that being a Fork would be on his own self-perception of perfection, imagine the so called god that punishes criminals also being considered a criminal by default in society's eyes if he's ever found out. Kira selling out his own kind because most criminals would likely be Forks (whether they were rightfully convicted or not), and then comes in L, a detective, a nuisance, Light's equal and a Cake. Maybe Light would find that out later on, maybe while they're playing as friends in college or while chained together, and now L had effortlessly thrown another wrench in his life yet again by default, like they're meant to be opposed by fate itself, where Kira is a Fork L is a Cake. L would likely goad Light on, trying to bait Kira out, by any means necessary, even if it means being eaten.

「Eat You Piece by Piece」: Hear me out, Batjokes. Fork!Bruce having to hold himself back from breaking his own morals due to finding out Joker is a Cake, Fork!Joker only getting deeper into his Batman obsession after tasting a Cake!Batman, Both Forks bonded by not having taste, maybe both are Forks that differ on how they react to Cakes (Joker regularly eating them while Bruce retains his morals and chooses to not hurt them), maybe both Cakes that got here because they were almost eaten (different Batman and Joker origin stories?). The opportunities are all intriguing and promptly end in bloodshed, expect angst and discussions of what is moral, also just so much angst holy shit this shit hurts.

「I Eat Boys Up」: Dungeon Meshi, Labru, Fork!Laios and Cake!Labru. I'm thinking post canon by accident, maybe something like sharing utensils, and I'm going to be so fr with you right now, this story coming from me would be a lot of romanticism through food metaphors and unending smut, feral Laios is my equivalent of heroin and I could imagine him describing Kabru's taste in detail to him while eating him out. But if smut isn't your jam, exploring how Laios and his monster obsession, especially in the form of food, as someone who can't taste would be intriguing, in a story so closely tied to food, you have to wonder how it would all change if the main character couldn't even taste. Also, I doubt Kabru would take the knowledge of him being essentially prey well, so there's that bag of worms to go into if you want.

「Blame Gluttony」: This one is purely self indulgent but like, Re:Zero with any ship, Cake! Subaru and Fork!anyone else. Imagine Subaru's world doesn't have this Cakeverse nonsense at all, but the world he's transported to has, imagine how scary it would be that one loop he suddenly finds out that he's essentially universal prey here (maybe in the second loop with Elsa), imagine the weight of all the things that already are trying to kill him along with the fact that he's also got a new thing to worry about? Maybe instead of just the rabbit loop, there's now multiple loops where Subaru is eaten alive, maybe there's loops where his dear friends themselves are eating him. Can you imagine if Emilia was a Fork? If he found out after the kiss of death and she commented on the taste of his lips as he was dying, if it came up again after their kiss, Subaru having to tackle with his love and heart belonging to someone that would one day eat him whole. Imagine the witch not longer just wants to touch his heart or kiss him, but she also bites him when he tries to tell the secret. Imagine maybe Rem is also a Fork, imagine that his death by her hands also involved her tearing into him chunk by chunk. What if Otto was a Fork, what if Reinhard was one? Seriously all the opportunities are equally traumatizing and I'm living for it!

Honorable mentions include: Persona Shuake and Shuada (Fork!Protags and Cake!Detectives) for the optimal mutual murder extravaganza, Okegom DSP Satanivlis (Fork!Ivlis and Cake!Satanick) for a rare case of role swapping, South Park Kyman (any way works tbh) for mutually assured destruction, Slay the Princess (Fork!Princess and Cake!Birb) because themes, Soukouku (Fork!Dazai and Cake!Chuuya) for making canon even worse than it already is, frankly any investigrave game would be peak here, Hannigram for obvious reasons.

But that's all I have for now, so, what have we learned here?

We learned that: I'm mentally ill and you need to write about the Cakeverse NOW.

[aquasoftware]

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

Cw | fluff drabble/crackish (?), lwk a little self-indulgent, pregnant reader/Papa!Toru, not proofread, oops..

FT | Satoru duhhh…

Wc | 0.5k ➜ ML

Before pregnancy? You were never once the type to express your love through words.

It all felt too strong rolling off the tongue for you, maybe it was because of how rough you grew up, but you’d rather choke and die before an “I love you sooo much baby.” Spilled out your lips, which is why you were more of an acts of service, physical touch, even a gift giving kind of girl.

Literally anything, BUT verbal affection.

Your husband would have to damn near drag an “I love you.” out the depths of your soul half the time. It’s not like it ever bothered him though, he got used to showing his love more instead–spontaneous dates, forehead kisses, or slipping decorated snacks into your bag before you went to work.

But pregnancy hormones just so happened to change everything.

At first, he’s heavily suspicious.

The first time you randomly utter, “You’re the best husband ever.” with one hand atop your round belly along huge adoring eyes, you manage to somehow make Satoru of all people freeze mid-bite of his dessert.

His confused blue eyes widened, jaw practically dropping to the earth’s core, as if you had magically shapeshifted.

“...Huh?”

“You just take such good care of me, Toru. I love you so much.” You replied to his befuddlement.

His reaction? Instantly squinting so much he could barely see in your direction.

“Who are you, and what did you do to my real wife!” Dramatically shaking your shoulders, with a fake tremble in his voice.

Your brow raised enough to high-five the ceiling “What are you on about?”

Eventually he gets real big-headed, maybe a little too fast.

The next day, when you sighed dreamily and murmured, “You’re so handsome, Toru. Our baby’s gonna be beautiful,” you wrapped your arms around him, pressing your tummy against his abs in a soft, lingering hug.

In true Satoru fashion his smirk activates.

“Damn right. Say it again.” He borderline demands, while returning the hug.

He quickly realizes he loves hearing you gush about him.

Hearing “You’re my favorite person in the world.” Turns into “Go on.”

Or hearing “You make me feel so safe, Satoru.” Turns into him responding by grinning “Of course I do.”

“I’m so lucky to have you.” Also turns into “Awww, baby, I know.” Paired along small back rubs.

But then, he gets tender one night.

In bed your fingers unexpectedly grab his pajama shirt and you delicately whisper, “I don’t tell you enough, but I really love you, Satoru.”

For a moment there’s silence, if anyone doesn’t count the owls wailing throughout the dark faded sky.

Yeah congratulations—you just broke this man, in the best way possible.

His breath hitched, any thought in his head coming to a halt.

“…You actually mean that?”

When you nod, his whole heart melts.

“Baby… don’t make me cry.” He somewhat scolds, for making him this emotional, sappy tears pleading to escape at any moment.

Your husband wraps you up in his lean muscular arms immediately, bringing your body closer, nearly having the grip of a bear.

Satoru lovingly kissed your forehead, nose, cheeks—everywhere, refusing to let any spot go untouched by his lips.

Mumbling into your skin, “I love you so much too, you know that?”

Oh this man was dreading the day post-pregnancy came, praying you never returned back to his non-mushy wife.

Pink dividers by me

A/n | wrote this while having the most insane baby fever ugh..

REBLOGS, COMMENTS, & LIKES, ARE HEAVILY APPRECIATED!!! thank u 🤞🏾

[fairestwriting]

I always imagined epel to be the hidden but massive simp and idia to be the subtle yet still massive simp towards their gf so can i please request epel and idia with their gf doing a glow up makeover and comes out of the room in the most gorgeous hair and make up + dress ever for a lil date

epel IS a wifeguy in the making to me and thats something i’ll always stand for

𐙚 Epel Felmier

He’s already kind of imagined having a moment like that. It’s a thing that happened on way too many of the romance shows and movies he’s secretly watched when he got bored back home. And you are his first girlfriend, so his expectations are pretty much just the stories he’s heard from his family with a dash of what little media he’s seen before.

For the same reason, Epel already had in mind that a dinner date would be essential. That’s how you treat a girl right, isn’t it? You haven’t even been together for that long when he says, declares really, that he wants to take you out for dinner. ”At an actual restaurant in the city,” He quickly specifies with a determined look in his eyes. ”Not like, Mostro Lounge. The reviews online said it was real nice too.”

He’ll have everything planned out for the evening, and it’s actually all done surprisingly well too. Epel finds himself a nice-ish dress shirt and pants when he goes back home over the weekend, and he’s already done a few odd jobs around campus to make sure he has the money to treat you both. And of course he’ll wait in front of your dorm to pick you up too — only slightly resenting that you’re both still students right now, so he can’t do that while driving a cool car on top of everything else.

And when you meet him at the door, oh, how does he wish he had that car already— Though deep down, he knows he’d end up crashing it because he couldn’t stop looking at you. He’s already never silent about how he thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the world, and that remains true even now that he feels so blown away that it’s hard to come up with the right words.

He does tell you though. All red faced, with maybe a noticeable dose of awkwardness, he feels so much shyer than usual, kind of like he’s starstruck. When he’s walking you back to your dorm — which he insists in doing, like the proper gentleman he is — he might gather the courage to ask if you wanted to take a picture together. Epel feels silly doing it, and he’ll get flustered if you ask why… But at the same time, he can’t resist the feeling that he should make this memory permanent in some way.

𐙚 Idia Shroud

You might think it’s surprising that you got Idia to agree to properly go out at all, let alone to do something that’d warrant dressing up. You’ve definitely heard him talk about how he doesn’t like the idea of *stuffy, overly fancy* dates, how he doesn’t see the point in the whole thing, how he thinks people just go to certain places to show off because “the food isn’t even that good”… Idia definitely has a lot of opinions on the matter, none of them sounding very positive.

He is also a rich boy, though. One that’s more grounded than most, but still a rich boy nonetheless — You’ll find that his idea of “stuffy” is some place that he went to as a kid that has some genuinely insane, flashy gimmick, a possible black tie dress code, and artsy looking desserts that he shows you on his phone and scoffs at while he recalls how “mid” they tasted.

Basically, as long as whatever place you’re interested in going to isn’t too popular or crowded he’s pretty open to just going there whenever you want. He might whine a little about going outside, but you both know it’s not serious. He does get a little anxious at the idea of being somewhere that requires him to present differently than what he’s used to but… well, he’s just used to that, to a certain extent.

When he leaves his hideout to go pick you up, he’s pretty nervous, fidgeting with the sleeves of his favorite slightly nicer jacket he picked from the depths of his closet. You two agreed on planning most of the date together, as you always do, but regardless of how long you two have been together, Idia always gets a little nervous when you go out on proper dates… which is something he quickly forgets about when he sees you.

You might have to snap him out of the trance he gets into. Wow, how did he get this lucky, he’s thinking, and you know it because he says it out loud without even meaning to. He turns red up to his hair when he’s back in the land of the living, rapidly apologizing in case he said something weird, and you can’t help but laugh a little. ”S-Sorry, um. You do look really pretty… I meant that.” He mutters, voice high pitched and a little hurried. You get back to your usual rhythm soon enough, your presence helping him feel comfortable. He steals glances when he thinks you won’t notice, though, still wondering just how the hell he managed to get this lucky…

if you like my work you can support me by commissioning me or tipping me on ko-fi ── ᵎᵎ ✦

[gooselycharm]

severance comic process write up (unasked for)

i finished season 1 of severance jan 24 and maybe by then NL had already begun his apple tv tirades. so maybe that's why i thought of the get it twisted speech? dont remember exactly but i was like wait......... this kinda fits...... and basically the images were forming in my head and i had to get them out. this is the best kind of inspiration to have. when it feels like you are afflicted with a life-threatening disease and the only cure is to draw pictures

i decided i wanted square panels and a black and white color scheme pretty early on. i wanted the pacing to feel kind of fast, so one line per page (basically i was trying to match the monologue). black and white also made sense because 1) i didn't want this to take 2 years like my last comic 2) fits theme of the show and the monologue rapidly whipping back and forth 3) i thought maybe i'd riso print this in the beginning and 1 color would be cheapest/easiest

the sketching phase was really smooth. it was like the images were in my mind already and just needed to be brought to life. my motivation was strong as well (i thought it was really funny and if no one liked it at least i really really liked it).

^ my sketches. most compositions made it to final without major edits. i did cut almost all of the last 8 because i didn't feel like I needed the moment to be dragged out so much AND i was getting pretty tired by that point lol.

one page i'm glad i changed was the ms casey one. the reason i changed it at first was because i thought it was too similar to the irving/burt one. and then i ended up really liking the new composition.

as i moved to final, i had a couple of inspirations in mind. i'm a huge fan of sophia foster-dimino's work, and in particular her sex fantasy comics

^ books/zines i looked at for inspiration. second image is a spread from sex fantasy #4.

i also was inspired by jennifer xiao's comics and how chootalks and nogoodwithcat handle linework and value

i was inspired by jennifer's pop up ads comic for this page. i like the humor in her work and wanted to bring an element of that into my comic.

i love these drawings by choo that showcase these eerie tableaus of desserts/cakes/hammers/etc! i was trying to evoke the same vibe with the two "get it twisted" pages with the stack of waffles.

also, just tons and tons of references taken from the show and stock images.

i pretty much just worked for two weeks straight until i finished. what unemployment does to a motherfucker. even though it's fanart and the words aren't mine, it's a pretty personal comic. i got suddenly laid off last fall which has made me feel all sorts of feelings, and then starting up my job search this year has been grueling. it kinda blows my mind that anyone expects you to love your job. i love my cat. i love the people important to me. i love moving my body and eating good food and listening to music and being out in nature. i love the color green. i dont love my fucking JOB lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are you freaking CRAZY???????? literally do NOT get it twisted. but also please hire me. <- this dichotomy has been making me nuts

anyway. the reception to my comic has been mind blowing. people have said some insanely nice things. i also really appreciate anyone who's read and enjoyed the comic without knowledge of severance or northernlion LMAO honestly amazed and in disbelief.... ty so much..... it really means a lot!!!!!!!!!!

okay i ran out of things to say for now byeeeeeeeeeeee

[exhaslo]

ok….hear me out… husband miguel and wife reader, but they both have a baby and Miguel finds it insanely attractive when she accidentally leaks milk onto her shirt when the baby cries, reader calls him out on his new kink and it leads up to a steamy night where baby #2 could be otw 👍👍

SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE!!!! I've totally seen stuff like this and I honestly think it's super hot cute.

Warning: MINORS DNI, smut, p in v, lactation, mating press, creampie, rough sex, overstimulation

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Who would have thought that you'd finally live the life you'd always wanted. You had found the perfect husband, had the perfect home and lived an easy life. Work was non existent for you since your loving husband, Miguel O'hara, made more than enough for both of you.

You were a stay home wife. Your job was mainly to help Miguel with his work from both Alchemax and the Spider Society. Only whatever you wanted to help with and nothing more to stress you out. That was Miguel's job as he kept reminding you.

You and Miguel were married for over two years now and already had a child. It was surprising how long it took you to get pregnant considering how sex driven Miguel was. That man was touch starved when you first met and he refused to let you go when the two of you were finally dating.

Miguel took such good care of you when you were pregnant with your child. It felt like a fairy tale. Miguel treated you like a princess before and even now.

Now, you were at home with the newborn, nearly exhausted all the time. Taking care of a child was new for you. Miguel always came home and pampered you despite you telling him to rest. Sometimes he seemed more tired than you.

"Baby, I'm home," Miguel called out as he swung in through the window. You stepped out of the kitchen,

"Shh," You whispered, your finger against your lips.

Miguel smiled as he saw your son sleeping in the crib in the living room. He quietly made his way over to you and gave you a passionate kiss. You smiled softly, melting under his touch as he cupped your cheeks.

"Go wash up, I'll have dinner ready in a bit,"

"Just...once more," Miguel whispered as he kissed you again, licking your lips for entrance, "Missed you so much today."

"Mhm~ Me...too,"

"Waaaaaah!!! Waaaaaaaah!!!"

"It was a decent nap," You whispered as your son started to cry.

Miguel chuckled as he watched you break away from him. His eyes scanned your body, wanting a taste. As you approached your son, Miguel noticed you huff and whine. He sniffed towards you since his sense of smell was higher than others.

You nudged Miguel's side, chuckling towards his behavior. Miguel was still confused but finally noticed your shirt damp from your nipples. His eyes shined brightly as you started to lactate due to his son's crying.

Heading into the shower after your cute pestering, Miguel kept thinking about your breasts. Oh, how sensitive your body was now that your child was born. Oh, how delicious it must taste. Miguel was going to enjoy his dessert tonight.

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You let out a heavy sigh as you finally laid down on your shared bed. Miguel was already there, his arms wide open for you to crawl your way into his embrace. Your son was asleep in the baby room and you had the little monitor and Lyla keeping an eye on him.

"You're not tired are you, baby?" Miguel whispered as he stroked your back. You planted your head against his chest,

"A little,"

"Awake enough for dessert?"

"Hm? Dessert?" You questioned.

Miguel smirked as he sat up with you on his lap. His hands slowly stroking your waist as he easily removed your night gown. You huffed your cheeks, knowing that you weren't going to get an ounce of sleep tonight. Miguel kissed along your collarbone, making his way down to your breasts,

"I saw the most wonderful thing earlier,"

"Hm?" You hummed, enjoying his kisses. Miguel kissed between your breasts before placing his lips against your nipple,

"My beautiful girl, milking at the sound of our son," He whispered, sucking against your breast.

"M-Miguel...T-That....mhm~ T-That's for our son!" You tried to complain, but shuddered at his sucking, "D-Don't s-squeeze,"

"He can share," Miguel chuckled, placing your back against the bed as he groped and sucked your breast, "You taste so good, baby."

"S-Someone...has a new k-kink," You teased, moaning softly as Miguel started to rut into you, "M-Miggy~"

"If there isn't enough to share, then I suppose we need to make another baby, no?" Miguel said as he tore your panties off with his talons, "Our son could use a sibling."

"Miguel~!"

You gasped and arched your back as Miguel grinded into you at a much rougher pace. He was sucking and biting your nipples, wanting to make you cum before he went onto the main course. You fell right into his trap since your body was still sensitive from the baby.

Panting heavily from your first orgasm, you squirmed and moaned as Miguel spent no time shoving his cock inside your tight velvet walls. Your vision blurred for just a second as you felt his tip hit your cervix, kissing it just the way you liked it.

"Baby, you're milking so much. Miss my cock that much?" Miguel groaned as he started to slap his hips into yours.

"Ah~ Hah~ M-Miguel~" You moaned, gripping onto the bedsheets as he abused your tight walls.

You felt your body heat up and your breasts swell as Miguel fucked the life out of your cunt. His dick hitting just the right spots while hitting your cervix with each thrust. Your body arched as you cried out your orgasm, unable to take the pleasure.

You body was twitching and your brain was getting fuzzy. You felt overstimulated as Miguel kept fucking through your high. Gasping as Miguel placed you in mating position, you cried out a series of moans, feeling him give you his first load.

"Miguel~"

"You're doing such a good job, baby," Miguel praised, kissing your neck, "Gonna fill you up, give you another baby."

"Mhm~ M-Miggy~" You cried.

Miguel stared at you with blown pupils. All he was thinking about was fucking another baby into you. Your body was begging for him. Your breasts were leaking milk and your pussy was dripping with both your juices and his cum.

Thrusting his hips into yours, Miguel grunted and moaned as he felt your pussy flutter around his cock. His pace fasten, enjoying your blissed out expression. Sucking against your breast again, Miguel groaned as your warm milk went down his throat.

"Such a good girl," He whispered, grunting as he cummed into you again, "Once more, you can give me one more, right?" He begged, feeling your body twitch.

"Mhm~"

"Thaaaat's my girl." Miguel whispered as he kissed you, lifting your hips as he kept pounding you.

Stars were defiantly seen that night as you lost count how many orgasms Miguel drew out of you.

Needless to say, Miguel kept fucking you every day until you were pregnant with your second child. Not that you were complaining, but now you had to teach him to share.

Not the baby, but Miguel.

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I hope you liked it!!! Sorry again for this being posted so late!!!

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

As a Rookanis lover, I've got to say that I enjoy seeing affectionate Lucanis from the external perspective on a different playthrough. It's something you can't see while romancing him with Rook, because he wouldn't tell them how much he wanted to get it right and how nervous he was about it, because he wants to look good for them.

But he totally fusses over preparing the dessert for his sweetheart. Which is adorable. And he does not like it when you later tell Neve that he got flustered over it. He wants to make a good impression.

And I can't believe people say you can't be evil in this game when you can straight up lie to him that it's a bad idea. :( That's an option for Rooks who like kicking puppies.

Also...

Assassin mode: On. 😆

An interesting difference I found here is that this is the point where Rook's romance with Lucanis locks in, and they officially become a couple. Rook recognizes what he's trying to say, likely thanks to all the previous experiences they've shared together - besides all the time spent together, getting to know each other, at this point they've almost kissed, and Lucanis also admits to having feelings for Rook during Inner Demons. The romance lock-in for him and Neve happens later, though. In my playthrough (where my Grey Warden Rook romanced Davrin but still saved Treviso), it actually happened waaay later, probably because I did Inner Demons soon after it became available, and the romance lock-in scene for them happened after Blood of Arlathan. (I haven't played enough yet to know whether it always happens this way, but I assume you can postpone or switch order for certain quests, which will affect your timeline for this.) So, with Neve, he may take significantly longer than with Rook.

And that is not meant to be any commentary on the quality of the relationships. I'm just observing the bird man for science. Especially because I've seen some people say that he doesn't act consistently between his romance with Rook and Neve. But... I don't think so? He still takes it slow in both cases. This is one of the examples. But of course, Rook and Neve are two different individuals that get involved with Lucanis under different circumstances and from different positions in the team, so it makes sense that the progression is not completely the same. Lucanis' relationship is flavoured by his partner, but they both make him happy and they're both equally valid.

I've also repeatedly seen some nonsense takes about how Rook's romance with Lucanis is supposedly inferior to Neve's, how he ignores Rook's affection, and isn't actually that much into them, which is honestly insane to me, because Lucanis expresses interest in Rook way before the scene with the dessert. Not only does he eagerly play along with Rook's flirting during their first coffee date, he initiates it. Most of the time, Rook's "flirting" takes the form of caring, expressing concern, and showing support. Lucanis is not used to that and he's also experiencing the horrors 24/7. But it is him that tells them that they always manage to cheer him up ("How do you always do that?" - "Do what?" - "Break apart my perfectly gathered clouds of doom.") and when they keep being supportive, he pins them against the wall. He straight up tells Rook that he doesn't want to lose them in Inner Demons. And I could go on. All that happens before the point when he starts courting Neve on a playthrough where they become a couple. Neve gets one cute dialogue cutscene with him and a few lines of dialogue/banter, because she's a companion. There's no reason to be jelly.

But back to the post.

From what I've gathered, it seems that the first pie didn't do the trick with Neve. I imagine they still spent nice time together, but from their actual lock-in scene later, it's clear that Lucanis didn't express his interest yet (or maybe didn't do it clearly enough, because his style is pushing a snack your way and hoping you'll get the message), or Neve wasn't ready to/didn't pick up on it. After the scene with the dessert (after Inner Demons) with Rook, Lucanis writes in his 4th logbook entry about spending time with them late at night. But with Neve, it's just this:

No mention of spending time with her yet.

When Rook and Lucanis become a couple, he makes this addition in the same logbook entry:

Which is another reason why it's clear they're just not there with Neve yet at this point. Also because Lucanis then prepares another pie later for her, and that's when they finally admit they like each other. But that's something for another post.

Also, I will tolerate no clowning towards Neve on this post. We love and respect Neve in this house. Sometimes she's my boyfriend's girlfriend, and sometimes she's also my girlfriend. I will protect. I'm writing this for fun, because I want to study the bird man from all angles. It's good extra material for my Rookanis headcanons. I also assume not everybody has done multiple playthroughs, so I thought maybe other people could appreciate it.

EDIT: I've made a follow-up post.