#then you MASH potatoes

[audible-smiles]

lost M*A*S*H episode from a funnier parallel universe: everyone in camp keeps drunkenly confessing their gay thoughts to Hawkeye because they assume he can relate (due to his actions and behaviors). he’s been sworn to secrecy half a dozen times and is quietly going insane because he can’t tell anyone, so he has to arrange a series of tightly managed hijinks where his friends will ‘accidentally’ discover they’re all queer and he can stop being the Gay Thoughts Priest. he still thinks he’s straight for about 90% of the episode and doesn’t understand why any of this is happening.

[thetragicallynerdy]

got a new shelf yesterday and now i know exactly how flat my hamster can make herself! because there's a tiny 3/4" gap at the base of it and you're never gonna guess where she went!!!

[ryllen]

poke dog thoughts

[zephyrchama]

🎁🥔

Beelzebub and Mammon made their presence very well known when they entered the living room, with heads held high and chests puffed out proudly. They were a little sweaty and disheveled but strangely upbeat. Beelzebub was clearly concealing something behind his back. Mammon had his nose pointed so far up, it was almost a challenge to the Avatar of Pride's moniker.

You looked up from the couch and asked, "What's up, guys?" Feeling for all the world like a kindergarten teacher about to play a game with their students.

"We got you something," Beelzebub said with a pleasant smile. It was almost entirely drowned out by Mammon's loud boasting.

"You won't believe what I found. You're 'bout to be real grateful, so get our praise ready."

They plopped down into seats on either side of you, Beelzebub careful not to jostle the mystery in his hand.

It wasn't every day they made a big deal out of giving you something. Normally, they'd just do it. Your interest was piqued. "What is it?"

They smirked at each other. Both demons wanted to drag out the suspense, but were also too impatient to wait much longer. Still in their school uniforms, they probably rushed straight home as soon as they procured their present. After grinning for several prolonged seconds in self-satisfaction, Mammon snapped his fingers dramatically. "Show 'em, Beel!"

Beelzebub placed the gift in your lap as if it were made of the finest glass.

It was a potato.

"A human world potato," Beelzebub explained, as if there was any doubt.

"Ya don't see this in the Devildom everyday. We thought you'd like a human treat every once 'n a while."

It was green and wrinkly, with multiple spuds sprouting out the top. It looked like somebody had dropped it behind a shelf and found it months later through smell alone. It was impossible to discern if it had been washed recently or if, at this point, the slimy and moist texture was just this tuber's natural state of existence.

Two sets of eyes filled with anticipation were locked on to your face, scrutinizing its every move. They were waiting for their shower of praise. You forced an awkward smile and laughed with strained excitement. "A potato! Wow, thanks guys!"

"What are you gonna make with it?" Beelzebub was eager to know.

"I'm not sure." You gazed at the gift. You kind of wanted to fling it off your legs before your skin started crawling. Though, you couldn't insult the brothers after their hard work. It was time to start lying through your teeth. "I'm so touched. Really. That you went and got... this potato for me. I kind of want to keep it as a memento!"

Mammon waved his hand to dismiss your idea. "Nah, don't hold back! I paid a pretty hefty sum to get a hold a' this, y'know."

Your heartstrings twinged with guilt. To avoid stirring Beelzebub and his endless stomach, Mammon leaned over towards your ear. "Fry it, bake it, boil it. It's all yours," he whispered. "'Long as you're happy, yeah?"

You were not happy. Every day with these demons brought a fresh source of stress. At least you were never dull.

"Solomon once said that green vegetables are good for humans," Beelzebub revealed.

You twirled your head around so fast that you accidentally bumped Mammon in the nose and asked, "You actually took food advice from Solomon?"

"Only after Belphie confirmed it," he clarified. So they did do their research.

While that was usually true, this was an incredibly unfortunate exception. You could not bring yourself to consume the sad green potato. You needed a new idea.

"Can human plants be cultivated in the Devildom? I want to plant this, and then we'll have more potatoes we can all share." The wet sensation on your leg only grew more unpleasant and you wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. "Let's go plant it out back and see."

The siblings began talking over one again again, saying, "My human's got a heart of gold" and "I'd like that" while squeezing you with bear hugs from either size. It jostled the potato and you feared it would start leaking more.

"Let's go, let's go!" you ushered, eager to give this old vegetable a proper burial. You could vaguely hear Mammon brag to his younger brother, "I told you this was a great idea, they're gonna be thankin' us for weeks," as you raced towards the doorway.

[jellyvibes710]

Part 2

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Bonus!

@abbeyofcyn

I realize that for like 80% of the first half I forgot to add Donnie’s googles and I was too lazy to add them so they blip in and out of existence haha

You can see when the burnout hit me like a freight train too :p

Originally I was going to add Donnie’s reaction to the feedback before Mikey came and gave him a cup of cocoa but I decided to remove it cus I was running out of space, darn 10 image limit

Off to the next part! >:D

[tiredsurvivoronmain]

Code Veronica edition

[choccy-milky]

I can imagine Clora reading the "Final Problem" where Sherlock "DIES" and being depressed for like a month and sending hate mail to Conan Doyle while Sebastian tries to cheer her up.

THATS SO FUNNY YOU SENT THIS BECAUSE I LITERALLY DECIDED THE SAME THING A WHILE BACK BAHAHA i plan to mention it in my fic too

seb would 1000% find clora crying during their seventh year when "the final problem" is published LMAOO and he'd freak out wondering whats wrong. and when i read about how tons of doyles' fans sent him hate mail and were outraged i was like yup, clora would've been one of them BAHAHA. ["Obituaries for Holmes appeared everywhere. Petitions were signed and “Keep Holmes Alive” clubs were formed."] CLORA WOULD HAVE FORMED ONE OF THOSE CLUBS TOO LMFAOO

all the outrage made doyle resurrect sherlock a decade later, so that also means when they're older + married + have kids, clora's just gonna burst into the room one day and be like "HES ALIIIIVEEE!!!!!!!" BAHAHHAA clora's hate mail to arthur conan doyle is what brought back sherlock, CONFIRMED!!💯💪✨

[chanrizard]

[SKZ Talker] Ep. 63 ⁝⁝ Bang Chan

[napping-sapphic]

Picture this: we eat a truly absurd amount of mashed potatoes and then go to sleep

[thebigolbee]

Mr. House coming in clutch with the tax evasion swag

[audible-smiles]

obviously I did go into the MASH tag on AO3 and I must say I particularly enjoy the genre of post-war fic that's just various friends and family members trying to get Hawkeye on lithium since the timing works out well for that. because you know a character is sad, wet, and beloved when the fandom includes psychiatric medication on the list of things they want for them alongside the usual (a hot meal, a service top, etc). this one is particularly good I think.

[sermna]

I made coconut thumbprint cookies + coconut caramel from Claire Saffitz' Dessert Person cookbook :]

[homeofhousechickens]

My problem with a lot of bird communities is that there is so many people out there on social media who have very little experience who want to try to be a resource of knowledge for other people when they themselves are still beginner/novice keepers. I constantly see them parrot incorrect information they themselves don't really understand then get offended when more experienced people correct them.

When seeking information about whatever animal you're trying to learn more about , please seek advice from MULTIPLE experienced people, not someone who has kept the species for a year or less. People with different backgrounds, whether that be breeding,rescue, pets, ect, are all going to have experiences and knowledge you can learn from. Sit and listen and digest the information you learn. Don't be the person to share this information with others without truly understanding. This is my biggest advice I can give to people trying to become better keepers/owners.

So many times I see younger people get their feelings hurt because they said something that was incorrect and were upset at being corrected. Your learning and it's not your job to teach others and wrong inexperienced advice can lead to an animal suffering poor quality care.

Oki rant over its Princess Cream time

[afoxysunny]

You thought I'm done just bc I drew an animal for all six Calorum kingdoms? Fear not! For I had so much fun that I couldn't just stop.

This time we're starting off in Candia

Want some more candy?

[forgeofthenine]

No requests tonight guys. This is another self indulgent comfort fic, this time because we had a police call out at work tonight. I, and my coworkers, are all fine thankfully but I still wanted to write a little something for myself :)

Anything for you

The fireplace crackles and pops, bits of log exploding with the growing heat. That, and quiet breathing, are the only noises to break the dead of night. Nothing moves other than the wavering light given off by the red-orange flames as they lick over the wood.

On the two person love seat sits Dammon, you sitting in his lap as he wraps a blanket and his arms around you. The fire doesn't need to be going, the tiefling is a heater by himself, but it gives you somewhere to focus your eyes. Rough, calloused hands rub soothingly over your back, eyes drooping as you press your cheek against Dammons shirt.

Soon it's his voice that breaks the silence. Hesitant, quietly he murmurs in your ear. "We should make our way to bed, my love, or we'll be stuck here all night." A whine leaves you in response, eyes finally closing. A chuckle shakes you as Dammon shifts, not able to stop the laugh from bubbling up.

"Carry me?" You ask, looking up at the blacksmith with bleary eyes. He pauses at that before scooping you into his arms, standing carefully. Even without your own arms around him, you feel safe in Dammons grasp, resting against his chest as your eyes drift closed again.

"Always, anything for you."

[puppetmaster13u]

I was makin myself a potato waffle. And had a fun realization/idea.

I bet that there's at least a small waffle restaurant in Gotham. Look me in the eyes and tell me there isn't a place that sells Spoiler-themed waffles.

Chocolate filled, batter with edible glitter and purple dye, Spoiler Waffles that Stephanie absolutely loves.