#then you MASH potatoes
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lost M*A*S*H episode from a funnier parallel universe: everyone in camp keeps drunkenly confessing their gay thoughts to Hawkeye because they assume he can relate (due to his actions and behaviors). he’s been sworn to secrecy half a dozen times and is quietly going insane because he can’t tell anyone, so he has to arrange a series of tightly managed hijinks where his friends will ‘accidentally’ discover they’re all queer and he can stop being the Gay Thoughts Priest. he still thinks he’s straight for about 90% of the episode and doesn’t understand why any of this is happening.
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got a new shelf yesterday and now i know exactly how flat my hamster can make herself! because there's a tiny 3/4" gap at the base of it and you're never gonna guess where she went!!!
#she was fine she was safe#but pls Mashed Potato can you at least PRETEND to have bones#also good news the leaning shelf of horror is now gone :3
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🎁🥔
Beelzebub and Mammon made their presence very well known when they entered the living room, with heads held high and chests puffed out proudly. They were a little sweaty and disheveled but strangely upbeat. Beelzebub was clearly concealing something behind his back. Mammon had his nose pointed so far up, it was almost a challenge to the Avatar of Pride's moniker.
You looked up from the couch and asked, "What's up, guys?" Feeling for all the world like a kindergarten teacher about to play a game with their students.
"We got you something," Beelzebub said with a pleasant smile. It was almost entirely drowned out by Mammon's loud boasting.
"You won't believe what I found. You're 'bout to be real grateful, so get our praise ready."
They plopped down into seats on either side of you, Beelzebub careful not to jostle the mystery in his hand.
It wasn't every day they made a big deal out of giving you something. Normally, they'd just do it. Your interest was piqued. "What is it?"
They smirked at each other. Both demons wanted to drag out the suspense, but were also too impatient to wait much longer. Still in their school uniforms, they probably rushed straight home as soon as they procured their present. After grinning for several prolonged seconds in self-satisfaction, Mammon snapped his fingers dramatically. "Show 'em, Beel!"
Beelzebub placed the gift in your lap as if it were made of the finest glass.
It was a potato.
"A human world potato," Beelzebub explained, as if there was any doubt.
"Ya don't see this in the Devildom everyday. We thought you'd like a human treat every once 'n a while."
It was green and wrinkly, with multiple spuds sprouting out the top. It looked like somebody had dropped it behind a shelf and found it months later through smell alone. It was impossible to discern if it had been washed recently or if, at this point, the slimy and moist texture was just this tuber's natural state of existence.
Two sets of eyes filled with anticipation were locked on to your face, scrutinizing its every move. They were waiting for their shower of praise. You forced an awkward smile and laughed with strained excitement. "A potato! Wow, thanks guys!"
"What are you gonna make with it?" Beelzebub was eager to know.
"I'm not sure." You gazed at the gift. You kind of wanted to fling it off your legs before your skin started crawling. Though, you couldn't insult the brothers after their hard work. It was time to start lying through your teeth. "I'm so touched. Really. That you went and got... this potato for me. I kind of want to keep it as a memento!"
Mammon waved his hand to dismiss your idea. "Nah, don't hold back! I paid a pretty hefty sum to get a hold a' this, y'know."
Your heartstrings twinged with guilt. To avoid stirring Beelzebub and his endless stomach, Mammon leaned over towards your ear. "Fry it, bake it, boil it. It's all yours," he whispered. "'Long as you're happy, yeah?"
You were not happy. Every day with these demons brought a fresh source of stress. At least you were never dull.
"Solomon once said that green vegetables are good for humans," Beelzebub revealed.
You twirled your head around so fast that you accidentally bumped Mammon in the nose and asked, "You actually took food advice from Solomon?"
"Only after Belphie confirmed it," he clarified. So they did do their research.
While that was usually true, this was an incredibly unfortunate exception. You could not bring yourself to consume the sad green potato. You needed a new idea.
"Can human plants be cultivated in the Devildom? I want to plant this, and then we'll have more potatoes we can all share." The wet sensation on your leg only grew more unpleasant and you wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. "Let's go plant it out back and see."
The siblings began talking over one again again, saying, "My human's got a heart of gold" and "I'd like that" while squeezing you with bear hugs from either size. It jostled the potato and you feared it would start leaking more.
"Let's go, let's go!" you ushered, eager to give this old vegetable a proper burial. You could vaguely hear Mammon brag to his younger brother, "I told you this was a great idea, they're gonna be thankin' us for weeks," as you raced towards the doorway.
#MC thanking them for the potato the same way that kid goes “it's an avocado! thanks” in that one video#mammon potato cooking methods asmr. “boil it. mash it. stick it in a stew.” all whispered very seductively#i wanted this to be longer but decided “does a story about a potato really need to be that long” so lots was cut out#thank you for the asks I've gotten in the last couple of weeks!! I'll get to them!!!!#everyone has such good ideas ahh i want to respond properly#zine work takes precedence though so look forward to those as well!#obey me!#obey me shall we date#obey me scenarios#obey me x mc#obey me swd#obey me fanfic#obey me x reader#obey me#obey me fandom#obey me mammon#obey me beelzebub#obey me fic#obey me drabble#obey me x you#omswd#omswd mc#obey me mc
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poke dog thoughts
#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#pokemon#gallade#gardevoir#furret#twst yuu#mega gardevoir#mega gallade#twst baby#mash potato is the softest name for dog#big dog has powerful paws that can step on you#no kidding#crossover#twst mc#fanart
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Part 2
Previous
Next
Bonus!
@abbeyofcyn
I realize that for like 80% of the first half I forgot to add Donnie’s googles and I was too lazy to add them so they blip in and out of existence haha
You can see when the burnout hit me like a freight train too :p
Originally I was going to add Donnie’s reaction to the feedback before Mikey came and gave him a cup of cocoa but I decided to remove it cus I was running out of space, darn 10 image limit
Off to the next part! >:D
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rise of the tmnt#rottmnt donnie#unpause rottmnt#rottmnt mikey#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt raph#rottmnt april#rottmnt splinter#I forgot how to do tags#ddfggyh#abbeyofcyn fanart#krang infection au#my brain is mash potatoes#I’m so excited for the next parts#hehehe#and you won’t know why#>:3c
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Code Veronica edition
#stop enjoying it chris he's trying to kill you#how the hell do people draw wesker's cv outfit and nail it I can't make any sense out of the mash potato pixels x-x#chris redfield#wesker#albert wesker#chrisker#rebhfun#resident evil#code veronica#meme redraw#my art
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I can imagine Clora reading the "Final Problem" where Sherlock "DIES" and being depressed for like a month and sending hate mail to Conan Doyle while Sebastian tries to cheer her up.
THATS SO FUNNY YOU SENT THIS BECAUSE I LITERALLY DECIDED THE SAME THING A WHILE BACK BAHAHA i plan to mention it in my fic too
seb would 1000% find clora crying during their seventh year when "the final problem" is published LMAOO and he'd freak out wondering whats wrong. and when i read about how tons of doyles' fans sent him hate mail and were outraged i was like yup, clora would've been one of them BAHAHA. ["Obituaries for Holmes appeared everywhere. Petitions were signed and “Keep Holmes Alive” clubs were formed."] CLORA WOULD HAVE FORMED ONE OF THOSE CLUBS TOO LMFAOO
all the outrage made doyle resurrect sherlock a decade later, so that also means when they're older + married + have kids, clora's just gonna burst into the room one day and be like "HES ALIIIIVEEE!!!!!!!" BAHAHHAA clora's hate mail to arthur conan doyle is what brought back sherlock, CONFIRMED!!💯💪✨
#ironically as i was drawing this i was re-watching hbomberguys video essay 'sherlock is garbage and heres why' LMAOO sorry clora#i do want to read the OG stories now though i was looking at the sets on amazon👀#ask#choccyart#i can also imagine clive and clora arguing over sherlocks death and the ending bc clive thinks it was effective but cloras like NO#arthur conan doyle hated his sherlock series since he wanted his historical stories to be more popular#i can imagine clive enjoying his historical stories more and agreeing whereas cloras like hell no MORE SHERLOCK ONLY SHERLOCK#god and margaret just sitting there as they have a heated debate during dinner like :) how are the mashed potatoes you two?? :)#save her#also cloras face in the first panel cracks me tf up and i also kinda have the urge to punch it which just makes it funnier SORRY
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[SKZ Talker] Ep. 63 ⁝⁝ Bang Chan
#you thought i'd forgotten about my mashed potato? wrong never in a million years lmao#bystay#staysource#createskz#channiesnet#stray kids#bang chan#usersun#userlau#usertsu#melontrack#meltracks#usersemily#dreamytag#userbeepls#le mie creature#fun sized australian steak#q
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Picture this: we eat a truly absurd amount of mashed potatoes and then go to sleep
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#did this seduce anyone??#or am i only seducing myself with this idea#god mashed potatoes are so good#very good right before SLEEPING#which is also so good#@ girls with good mashed potato recipes: pls fall in love with me pls fall in love with me pls fall in love with me pls—#person: yeah i usually don’t peel the potatoes so i get it if you don’t like my recipe#me: *already on one knee to propose*#what if we got married and ate potato forward dishes for every meal🥺👉👈#im gay and i like sleeping#this is the kind of romantic post yall are following me for right?
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Mr. House coming in clutch with the tax evasion swag
#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#fallout fanart#mr house#mr. house#robert edwin house#robert house#mr house fallout#my art#you know that picture of marge holding the potato saying#I just think they're neat#that's how I feel about House#except I boil him and mash him while blushing#<3
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obviously I did go into the MASH tag on AO3 and I must say I particularly enjoy the genre of post-war fic that's just various friends and family members trying to get Hawkeye on lithium since the timing works out well for that. because you know a character is sad, wet, and beloved when the fandom includes psychiatric medication on the list of things they want for them alongside the usual (a hot meal, a service top, etc). this one is particularly good I think.
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I made coconut thumbprint cookies + coconut caramel from Claire Saffitz' Dessert Person cookbook :]
#honestly if you want the recipe dm me#they are 75% butter#they look like little mashed potatoes w/ gravy hehe
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My problem with a lot of bird communities is that there is so many people out there on social media who have very little experience who want to try to be a resource of knowledge for other people when they themselves are still beginner/novice keepers. I constantly see them parrot incorrect information they themselves don't really understand then get offended when more experienced people correct them.
When seeking information about whatever animal you're trying to learn more about , please seek advice from MULTIPLE experienced people, not someone who has kept the species for a year or less. People with different backgrounds, whether that be breeding,rescue, pets, ect, are all going to have experiences and knowledge you can learn from. Sit and listen and digest the information you learn. Don't be the person to share this information with others without truly understanding. This is my biggest advice I can give to people trying to become better keepers/owners.
So many times I see younger people get their feelings hurt because they said something that was incorrect and were upset at being corrected. Your learning and it's not your job to teach others and wrong inexperienced advice can lead to an animal suffering poor quality care.
Oki rant over its Princess Cream time
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You thought I'm done just bc I drew an animal for all six Calorum kingdoms? Fear not! For I had so much fun that I couldn't just stop.
This time we're starting off in Candia
Want some more candy?
#dimension 20#a crown of candy#the ravening war#calorum fauna#jelly snail#candian animal#d20 acoc#d20 trw#candia#image description#alt text#my fav part about these lil guys is the thoughts they sparked for me#about all other snails in calorum#and how they subtly change depending on where you are in what kingdom#jam snails when you move towards fructera#yoghurt and pana cotta in the dairy islands#mashed potatoes and other veggies in vegetania#dough in ceresia#bloodpudding in the meatlands#there are literally hundreds of options and gradients#to a point where I'm sure biologists and rangers and austistic kids and others in calorum can tell you where exactly you are#simply by looking at the snails around you!
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No requests tonight guys. This is another self indulgent comfort fic, this time because we had a police call out at work tonight. I, and my coworkers, are all fine thankfully but I still wanted to write a little something for myself :)
Anything for you
The fireplace crackles and pops, bits of log exploding with the growing heat. That, and quiet breathing, are the only noises to break the dead of night. Nothing moves other than the wavering light given off by the red-orange flames as they lick over the wood.
On the two person love seat sits Dammon, you sitting in his lap as he wraps a blanket and his arms around you. The fire doesn't need to be going, the tiefling is a heater by himself, but it gives you somewhere to focus your eyes. Rough, calloused hands rub soothingly over your back, eyes drooping as you press your cheek against Dammons shirt.
Soon it's his voice that breaks the silence. Hesitant, quietly he murmurs in your ear. "We should make our way to bed, my love, or we'll be stuck here all night." A whine leaves you in response, eyes finally closing. A chuckle shakes you as Dammon shifts, not able to stop the laugh from bubbling up.
"Carry me?" You ask, looking up at the blacksmith with bleary eyes. He pauses at that before scooping you into his arms, standing carefully. Even without your own arms around him, you feel safe in Dammons grasp, resting against his chest as your eyes drift closed again.
"Always, anything for you."
#im off to make mashed potatoes now#i think i deserve some food based comfort now lol#baldurs gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate 3 x reader#bg3 x reader#baldurs gate 3 dammon#bg3 dammon#dammon x reader#dammon x you#dammon x tav
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I was makin myself a potato waffle. And had a fun realization/idea.
I bet that there's at least a small waffle restaurant in Gotham. Look me in the eyes and tell me there isn't a place that sells Spoiler-themed waffles.
Chocolate filled, batter with edible glitter and purple dye, Spoiler Waffles that Stephanie absolutely loves.
#random idea#batman#batman au?#batman au#stephanie brown#I bet they have vigilante waffles- it's like a small restaurant that is entirely waffle themed#There's a nightwing waffle that is COVERED in sprinkles and blueberry syrup & whip cream#A Red Hood waffle with strawberries and pomegranate#A kids Robin waffle that's like those rainbow waffles but robin colors#Waffle sandwiches & waffles with chicken in it#Like entire menu is waffles from breakfast to lunch to desert#Ivy Waffle that's dyed green and has bits of mint and basil & tiny berries#A batman waffle with blackberries#The one time Spoiler manages to drag the vigilantes there and not Batburger goes viral#She's giggling as she orders everyone their own waffle plates#There's a waffle bar and she loves it#No one expects Batman to absolutely SMOTHER his waffle in blueberries and boysenberry syrup#do you see my vision#dc#dcu#prompts?#prompts#In case anyone is wondering a potato waffle is boiling/baking potatoes & mashing them up & forming balls & getting em crispy#in the waffle maker if I am explaining it well lol
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