#then we’re gonna talk about the Swords of the Lady here

[slverblood]

Today is gonna be another hc day. It will spark joy.

[questionableratatouille00]

ʜɪɢʜᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʟʟ 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: In an effort to get the two of you to bond, Tony Stark sends you and the ex-assassin Bucky Barnes on a road trip together. The reason? You hate each other. The situation? Two weeks in a car together. The reward: three days of a resort vacation. And the problem? He's kinda cute.

Warnings (Entire Series): Enemies-to-lovers, cursing, sexual tension, angst, fluff, crying, fighting, violence, chaos, mentions/talk of trauma, discussions of mental health, and potentially more.

Warnings: Reader buys a dress, cursing, mentions and eating of food, let me know if more needs to be added.

[Series Masterlist]

𝑫𝒓𝒊𝒗�� 𝑴𝒆 𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒛𝒚

The next morning, you’re back on the road once again. You’re in the passenger seat now, letting Bucky drive. 

You snack on some granola bars that you’d packed, offering one to Bucky. He takes one, offering up a small ‘thanks’ in return.

Several hours later, you notice the small town slowly circling around the truck.

“Bucky. Can we stop?” You asked.

“We can make at least five more hours today.” His brows furrow.

“I haven’t pissed since yesterday. I’m gonna die.” You complained.

“There’s a gas station..30 minutes away. Can’t you wait?” He argues.

“No. Pull over.” You huffed. “Look! That diner right there. Debbie’s.* We can get lunch.” 

“That’s gonna waste at least an hour. We don’t have time.” His grip tightens on the wheel.

“We’ve got like an extra two days! The drive isn’t that fucking far! Pull over before I piss my fucking pants, asshole!” You blow up at him. Tony intentionally planned it so that there was time for a little bit of dilly-dallying. 

Begrudgingly, he turned into the diner parking lot. You zoomed out of the car and straight to the bathroom inside of the diner. 

After taking care of your business, you met back up with Bucky in the line to the counter.

When it was your turn, you waited as Bucky ordered some burger before you ordered your own food.

Bucky reached for his wallet at the same time you reached for yours. 

“I’ll get it,” you said.

“It’s fine. I’ve got it.” Bucky brushed you off. It made you..mad? He said it almost smugly, as if he was doing you such a favor.

“No, I’ll pay. I’ll do it.”

“I’m already doing it.” He snarked back. 

You quickly tried to shove your card against the tappy-machine as  Bucky scrambled to do the same. You engaged in a debit-card-sword-fight for several seconds before the lady behind the counter—an older woman, with short and thin gray hair and bright blue eyes, chuckled.

“You two make a mighty fine couple, I can tell.” Janet H. said, a fond smile on her face.

“We’re not together.” Bucky and you said sharply at the same time. 

Distracted by this, you fumbled and Bucky won the war.

You walked towards a booth in the 50s-style diner, sliding into it and looking at the receipt. Order #157. 

When the number was called by a slightly younger elderly woman, you took the initiative to walk back up to the counter.

“Thank you,” you said, taking the white bag. 

“No problem. You here for the festival?” She asked, making small talk. Sharon C. 

“Festival?” You echoed, curious. 

“Yeah. The town’s got an annual Blast-from-the-Past festival thing. Always draws in plenty of tourists.” She slid a white half-sheet of paper with a little infographic on it.

“Thanks,” you murmured, looking down at it as you walked back to the booth.

 If Bucky was curious about what the paper was, he didn’t voice it. You assumed that the Serum had probably boosted up his hearing, so maybe he already knew.

As Bucky unpacked the white, grease-stained paper bag of food, you scanned over the paper.

“Bucky. We should stay for this. This is pretty cool. It's like a 'this-town-through-the-decades' kind of thing. There's a 40's style dance thing tonight." You state, reading the first event listed. The festival is a week long, starting tonight, Monday, and ending on Sunday. “Look! Tomorrow is ‘30s-‘40s night. There’s a dance, and food, and all kinds of cool shit.” You grinned.

He stared at you like you had three—no, twelve—heads. 

“We definitely don’t have time for that.” He grumbled as he munched on his burger. 

“Bucky, we still have like, 5 or 6 days before we can even check into the resort thing. To get there is a 3-4 day drive. We’ve got plenty of time.” 

As he shuffled awkwardly at the presentation of the facts, you could tell that time wasn’t the main reason he wanted to skip it.

“C’mon. Please.” You begged.

He stared at you, unsure. 

You remained resilient.

“Fuck. Fine.” He broke, clearly unhappy about it. 

“Yes!” You cheered. “I think we passed a store that was selling stuff for the festival. I’m sure they’ve got some themed outfits.” You raved.

“Okay. There’s the motel down the street, right? We could just get a room there.” He murmured. “I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

“Why not? It’s just a little dance.” You huffed.

"We're both Avengers. We could be recognized."

"So? Either way, we're in a tiny ass town in the middle of nowhere. If we were recognized, it wouldn't even matter."

He looked down at his gloved left hand. He always wore thick jackets or long-sleeved shirts, paired with gloves.

"Nobody's gonna care." You reassured quietly. It was true that the two of you didn't get along very well, but you didn't think it was fair to make personal attacks. You knew his arm, and basically his entire past, really, were sensitive topics.

“Okay.” He conceded. “C’mon. Let’s go get hotel rooms.”

You lift your suitcase and backpack out of the backseat, before heading into the lobby. Bucky follows as you approach the receptionist.

She's an older lady, some sections of her hair gray, other sections a warm brown. Her eyes match the brown, and she smiles when she sees the two of you walk in.

"Hello. Welcome to the Brandon Briar Hotel. How may I help you two today?" She asked, looking up at the two of you. She has wrinkles by the corners of her eyes, and smile lines around her mouth. Her voice is warm, as is everything about her. A quick glance to her nametag revealed that her name is Barbara C.

"We'd like two rooms, please." You smiled politely.

"Alright, and how long will the two of you be staying, dear?"

"Just for tonight, if that's okay."

"Wonderful. Is it okay if it's a connecting room? The festival always brings in a lot of tourists." She smiled proudly.

"Really?” You ask, making small talk. You feel a pang of joyful spite as you see Bucky shift awkwardly next to you. Socializing is not something he’s known for.

"Yes, Brandon Briar has it every year. Here's a flyer, if you're thinking about attending." She slipped a brightly colored flyer over the counter, sliding it in front of you. The main colors, yellow, blue, and white, were eye-catching and pretty. This one was much more in-depth than the flyer the girl at the diner had given you.

"Now, is the connecting room okay, sweetheart?" She asked again, though there was not a single note of annoyance in her voice.

"Oh--yes. That will be perfect." You glanced back up at her, eyebrows raised subconsciously.

You pay quickly for both of the rooms before Bucky--who had been standing behind you silently--could fight you on it. Barbara hands you the two key cards, and you hand Bucky one. Taking the flyer with you, you give Barbara one final 'thank you' and a smile, before heading to the elevator.

Bucky presses the button for the 2nd floor, where your rooms are. You study the flyer.

"Neither of us have anything to wear to it." He tries to reason as the elevator door opens.

Walking down the hallway, you continue to argue with him. "I'm sure there's at least one store that sells stuff specifically for the festival. Barbara--the receptionist--said that the festival brings in a bunch of tourists, so they have to have something around here." You said optimistically as you both opened the doors to your hotel rooms.

It had been easy to find a store selling dresses made to look like they were from the 1940's. The Brandon Center, the little store that could only be found in Brandon Briar, had an overwhelming amount of them. You'd left Bucky to find whatever he needed, you instead opting to browse through all the pretty dresses. There was a large selection, filled with pretty prints and colors.

Bucky, perhaps ten minutes ago, had interrupted your browsing to tell you that he was going to wait in the car. You had simply nodded, quickly glancing at the bag he carried.

A stunning red dress caught your eye. It had a little belt to go around your waist, with 3/4 satin-cuffed sleeves and a matching satin heart-shaped collar.

Sure, there were other dresses in a similar color, but once you saw this one, there was no going back. You checked the tag, making sure that it would fit.

Grinning once you saw that it did, you took the hanger off the rack before looking through the jewelry stand. When you found nothing that fit your style, you sighed.

Walking to the register, and you were greeted by a woman, probably in her sixties. Her hair was dyed blonde, which looked good with her blue eyes. She wore black eyeliner all the way around her eye, with thick mascara to match. She grinned, a heavy country accent coming in thick when she spoke. Though you'd only spoken to a few locals, they all seemed to have the same accent.

"Hiya! Will this be all for you today?" She had a nametag on her floral blouse. Brenda.

Nodding, you reply. "Yes."

"Okay. Oh..this is a pretty thing. You plannin' on comin' out by the old diner for the dance tonight?" She laid the dress out on the counter, examining it.

"Yeah. It's..it's in that little square, right? I saw the string lights this morning when I was driving by, but I didn't really have time to look."

"Yes, yes. The decorations are always gorgeous. Wait a minute..oh, this is from Mr. Lee." She said, beginning to fold the dress. When she noticed your confused expression, she grinned.

"A while back, we had a guy donate a bunch of old dresses like this after his wife passed. His wife was friends with that lady Peggy Carter, funnily enough. Anyway, we kept a bunch of those dresses in the back for a few years. Some were altered, made bigger or smaller or even just turned into somethin’ brand new. Forgot all about them. Until now, that is."

You nodded, though the mention of Steve's almost-kind-of-basically girlfriend startled you. A younger girl, maybe a college student, stepped out from the door next to the register. The creaky wooden floor announced the presence of another customer, as did the bell on the door.

"Aunt Brenda, can you help Ms. Owens? She wanted to look at that green dress I told you about." The girl said. Her hair was brown and straight, going down to her waist.

"Oh, yes." Brenda turned back to you. "Stacy will ring you up." She explained, placing the folded dress into a white paper shopping bag.

She walked out from behind the counter, Stacy taking her place.

"Sorry about that." The girl—Stacy—apologized. "That'll be $23.99. Hero's discount."

When she glanced up to you, she smiled a little. "Don't worry. You blend in a lot. Most of the people here are older, and anyone who isn't is just a young couple coming here for the festival. My great aunt and my grandma live up here, so I stay here every summer to help with the store." She assured.

Once you paid, she waved you goodbye as you walked out of the shop. Bucky was waiting in the driver's seat of the truck, scrolling on his phone.

"Y'know it starts at 6:00, right?" He asked when he heard the truck door open.

"It's 3:15, we'll be fine." You rolled your eyes, buckling your seatbelt. You didn't say much on the drive to the hotel, instead thinking about what else you were going to wear.

Bucky stood inside of his hotel room, not sure what to do. You had decided to close your door to his room, and he decided to do the same. Just because your rooms were connected didn’t mean you would go into each other’s rooms. That was weird, right?

He showered quickly, before getting dressed. He felt stupid as he glanced at himself in the mirror. He knew how he was supposed to look, but none of this felt...right. He tied his hair into a low ponytail, just to keep it out of his face.

He opened his door to your room, just to be met with your door closed. He knew it was going to be closed. Of course it would be closed. There was no reason he should feel so...disappointed.

Disappointed? No. No. Bucky was sure of it. He barely tolerated you. You were annoying, and you liked starting fights for no reason. Ever since he’d arrived at the Avenger’s Compound, you were nothing but cold and nasty towards him. The first time he’d met you, you’d made an angry face at him before ignoring his existence.

But he couldn't deny the feeling of excitement he got when he saw your name light up on his phone.

Ready.

That was the entire text message. And somehow, a single word made his stomach feel light. Without typing a reply, he stepped into the hallway of the hotel, before he saw you.

A/n: my taglist doesn’t work for some reason??? I can’t tag more than a few people on a post before it just stops linking them. Let me know if it still tags you even without the link thing. Idk, it pisses me off sm. I hope this still gets the same reach??? 🧚

Taglist: @afraidofshrimp @laughterafter @cjand10 @kandis-mom @emmsybucky@mrsnotfeelingsogood @matchat3a @identity2212 @ilovemcuff @unaxv @mysticalfuncollectorus @highwaytomichelle @lilbloggs @ordelixx @skiemi-blog @allieb913 @winterslove1917

note that this is the only series I’ll be doing a taglist for, but let me know in the comments if you’d like to join!

Reblog if you enjoyed!

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[chrysoula]

Felt-chan's Bedsharing Experiment

Felt woke up in the dark, instantly alert as the texture of the midnight silence changed. It was a trait she’d developed growing up in the capital’s slums. She no longer slept in such dangerous places, but it was still a useful ability.

“Reinhard?” 

He stepped from the darkness into the patch of starlight shining through her open curtains. “Yes, I’m here.”

“Why?” Her voice was very even.

He hesitated before saying, “I felt anxious and wanted to check on you. I didn’t expect you to wake up.”

Felt eyed him. He was dressed in black and dark blue, rather than his pajamas or the lighter casual clothes she’d last seen him in. Clothes for sneaking out at night. Then she sighed. “Did you have a bad dream again?”

“My lady… you’ve noticed?”

“Of course I noticed. Who do you think I am? Now, get over here.”

Slowly, he approached her big bed. Felt used to wonder why the rich always seemed to think sleeping in a big bed was a status symbol, but now she could suddenly see the point. She scooted back from the warm hollow left by her body and pointed at it. “Lie down.”

“Lady Felt!” Shock flickered over his face, but Felt wasn’t in the mood to savor it.

“What’s the problem? It’s a big bed. I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with you, but I’m pretty sure if we’re in the same bed, you’ll stop worrying I’ve run away or something for a few hours and get some rest.” She narrowed her eyes. “You do keep insisting you’re not a pervert, right?”

He gave her that detestable wan smile. “I do.” He considered a moment and then exhaled lightly. “I see. You may be right. But this isn’t a sustainable solution, my lady.”

Felt snorted. “Damn straight. But it’s a solution that lets me get back to sleep as soon as possible. Besides, you’ll think better once you’ve had some sleep. We can talk about it tomorrow.”

Reinhard’s eyes widened and he looked stricken as he realized what he’d done. “My deepest apologies, Lady Felt. I’ve allowed my own troubles to—”

“Reinhard! If you don’t shut up and lie down right now, I’m gonna get pissed off.”

Once again, the knight contemplated, before sitting down, trailing his fingers down the indention where she’d been.

Felt, who had moved to the cold side of the bed for the stupid Sword Saint, watched him sourly and then flopped over before lifting herself up enough to swipe her own pillow and shove the fresh one where Reinhard would rest his head. 

He glanced at her and smiled in that other way he had, the way that made her happy and angry at the same time. But then he stretched out on the bed, as if her pillow swap had reassured him somehow, so Felt decided she could tolerate it.

He turned just slightly toward her, tucking his far hand under his head with the smile lingering in his eyes, but saying nothing. Even in the darkness, she could see the impossible blue of his eyes.

Felt scowled. “Close your eyes. Go to sleep.”

Obediently, he closed his eyes, although obviously forcing himself to sleep was impossible. It didn’t matter, anyhow. Even without his vision, he could sense everything about her that mattered right now: her breathing, her heartbeat, her warmth…

Felt could see the exact moment he fell asleep. The hint of a smile faded from his face, but no furrowed brow replaced it. His relaxed face was so rarely seen that Felt considered it unnatural, and got pissed off all over again.

Then she considered why she was pissed off and her shoulders slumped. This time she was in the wrong, and she knew it without having to lose an argument with him first. Knowing what she did about his life, and what she did about people, she couldn’t blame him for giving the world so many hollow smiles. But she liked all of his other expressions so much more. Or at least, sometimes when she saw them she wasn’t quite as angry at him as usual.

“Sorry, Reinhard,” she whispered under her breath.

Without waking enough to lose that relaxed expression, Reinhard stirred and his hand moved, capturing her wrist before she realized what was happening. Her teeth clicked together in an angry, incredulous grin as her eyes widened. (I give you a hand and you take an arm, huh? Just like always…)

But she didn’t pull away. He’d release her immediately if she woke him, but it would be way too much trouble to calm him down and get him to rest again. Besides, it wasn’t so bad to sleep once more beside somebody she trusted…

Felt, too, fell asleep.

Reinhard opened his eyes in darkness, and tried to reassemble the facts that led him to his current position.

Ah. He must have fallen asleep after Lady Felt’s gracious act of comfort.

Only… He couldn’t quite recall how exactly she’d ended up spooned against his chest, with both of his arms around her. He felt quite certain she wouldn’t have voluntarily positioned herself that way, so had he forced her…? But no. If he’d done anything like that, she would have complained loudly, and he would have woken up instantly. 

Then it must have happened gradually and accidentally. He’d long since stopped seeing even violent physical contact from his mistress as something to automatically avoid, so it didn’t puzzle him that he’d been able to continue sleeping through the tossing and turning required to…

Oh. He realized that not only was she holding the hand attached to his arm underneath her (or perhaps he was holding hers), but his upper arm, draped over her abdomen, rested on the bare skin revealed by her rucked up pajama top. Of course, her favorite clothing revealed most of her abdomen as well, so he’d had plenty of opportunity to visually inspect her stomach, but he’d never imagined touching it like this. And she was so warm, and the smell of her hair was… comfortable.

He hummed silently to himself. (This really is quite intimate and inappropriate. That’s a problem. But…) 

Reinhard wasn’t sure if he could extricate himself without waking his mistress. If he could, that might erase the issue. There was no need to distress her, after all. But he knew how much that sort of consideration would anger her, and more importantly, it violated Reinhard’s integrity to pretend they hadn’t ended up sleeping together so entangled.

That being decided, he stayed how he was. She would discover their position when she woke naturally, just as he had, and no doubt she would rightfully punish him. So he felt (as he sometimes did) that if he was going to do the time, he might as well do the crime.

His troubling, adorable mistress really was rubbing off on him.

The thought made him unreasonably happy, and he smiled to himself as he once again drifted off to sleep.

Felt woke up in the gray light of dawn with the echo of a gasp, a giggle, and the click of a door echoing in her ears. After evaluating her situation for a moment, she determined her exact physical positioning, which she didn’t actually hate, and also that her twin chamberlains probably knew Reinhard had spent the night in her bed.

Well. First things first, because she certainly wasn’t going to sort this out alone, and she also wasn’t going to act like it hadn’t happened. Her stupid perfect knight was far too comfortable to snuggle against, for one thing.

Her voice harsh and commanding, she said, “Reinhard. Wake up but, and I mean this, do not move.”

His fingers twitched against her revealed stomach, which didn’t quite tickle, and then he said softly, “All right. I’m awake.”

She could feel his breath stirring her hair, and tried to pull her thoughts together. “I give you a hand and you take an arm, just like always…. is what I’d like to say, except I’m not ready to be cold yet.”

“All right,” he said peaceably. “It is rather chilly.” His fingers twitched again, searing trails of sensation against her skin.

Felt frowned. “Aren’t you going to lecture me about how inappropriate this is?”

“I felt that went without saying in this circumstance, my lady. Flam and Grassis have already drawn incorrect conclusions, but they won’t gossip, and I can correct them later.”

“Huh,” she said, taken aback. “I guess you got some serious sleep.”

“Yes, I was untroubled by bad dreams. Thank you for your generosity.”

“Hmph,” Felt said, and then, since she had nothing she was ready to argue with him about, closed her eyes again to doze a bit longer.

It didn’t quite work. Closing her eyes just focused her attention on his hand, and every slight move of his fingers sent tingles through her whole body.

After a few moments, Reinhard said, “Ah. I can’t exactly call it gossiping, but Flam and Grassis are congratulating Rom on acquiring a fine grandson-in-law.”

Felt opened her eyes. “Never mind what they’re doing, it’s what you’re doing that’s bothering me! Are you just eavesdropping all the time, you creepy bastard?”

His fingers stopped moving before she explained what exactly bothered her, but began to move again as he said mildly, “I ignore what doesn’t concern me.”

Felt realized in a flash that the movement of his fingers against her skin was entirely intentional, and her temper rose as she wondered if he was petting her like she was a foxette. Maybe it was time to get back to kicking him and teasing him for being a pervert.

(Nah.) It was really hard to stay mad at him right at that moment, maybe because everything felt so nice. "What's Old Man Rom saying, anyhow?"

"He's cautioning them against assumptions that may embarrass them later. He's a good man." His nose touched her hair. "Lady Felt, as much as I'm enjoying this, it might be best if we separate and ready ourselves to face what may be a trying day."

"Not yet," said Felt stubbornly,  not releasing the hand she still held. "We still have to talk about what's keeping you up all night.”

She could hear how startled he was as he said, "Like this?"

"Exactly like this. I don't have to look at your stupid pretty face, and you don't have to fret about me running away. Not that I know why you suddenly are, after so much time. So spill your guts, Reinhard."

His palm flattened against her stomach as his arm tightened. "I know very well you'd never run from the responsibilities you've taken on. I only wish I could be so confident of my ability to keep you safe.”

Felt closed one eye at this. “That why you keep sneaking out at night? Doesn’t make sense, Reinhard.”

“Forgive me. I’ve found that… saving others, even in little ways, can sometimes quiet my troubled heart for a time.”

“Yeah, okay, I can see that. Makes sense after all.” Felt nodded to herself and thought for a bit. “You know, I’m surprised you’re staying like I said. You usually ignore my orders when you don’t approve of them, so I guess you must really be enjoying this.”

“I was not lying when I said as much a little while ago. And very little would change at this point were I to disobey you. But I dare say I’m just as surprised that you’re allowing this.”

“Yeah, well, Old Man Rom says I’m too big to sleep beside him any more.”

Reinhard hummed thoughtfully. “I didn’t know that.”

“Not that we slept quite like this,” added Felt, annoyed. “I just used to sleep on his chest all the time, ever since I was a baby.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said, and his hand relaxed enough to start drawing light circles against her skin again.

(Hey, what the hell does that mean?) But Felt bit the demand back, because she wasn’t sure she wanted an answer. Instead she said, “So what do you need to get rid of the bad dreams for good?” Then, unable to stop herself, she added acidly, “Maybe we can get you a foxette kit.”

He pressed his head against hers enough that his voice was muffled as he said, “I think that would be very cruel to the foxette.”

Felt snorted and almost rolled over to face him, just stopping herself. “It would be the happiest foxette in the world and you know it, you dumbass.”

He said nothing, which wasn’t a denial. Then he said, “Although I don’t quite understand why you think a foxette would help.”

“Doesn’t have to be a foxette.” Felt’s slender shoulders tightened in an awkward shrug. “Something warm you can cuddle and pet. Maybe anything would do.” 

His fingers kept moving even as he said, “My lady, I’m hurt that you think I could replace you so easily.”

She squeezed his other hand. “I’m not a foxette, okay? Not a foxette!”

“No, you are not,” he agreed. “You are such a lovely young lady that I cannot bring myself to stop touching you at the moment. It’s quite a dilemma, and I already regret burdening you with my ineptitude.”

Felt sighed, but her shoulders relaxed a little. “So you don’t think a foxette would help.”

His nose was in her hair again. “Would you like a kit, my lady?”

From anybody else that might have been some kind of innuendo, but Felt knew Reinhard well enough to recognize a sincerity she definitely had to nip in the bud before she ended up with another pain-in-the-butt underfoot. She scoffed. “Me? Hell no. Foxettes are nothing but rivals for the best food.”

Bits of her hair moved against his mouth as he mused, “The twins have a birthday soon. Maybe they’d like a foxette. Or perhaps one for each?”

Exasperated, Felt said, “If you want a foxette, just get a foxette, Reinhard. But only one.”

He lifted his head a little, so that his voice came more clearly. “It’s not so much that I want a pet so much as your suggestion struck a chord. Whether or not any individual member wants it, my intuition tells me the camp needs a foxette.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” And then, because she really did know Reinhard well, added, “Just one! I’m serious! This camp isn’t big enough for two foxettes.”

And then, because she could learn from the past, she demanded, “Reinhard, do you already have some abandoned kits you’ve stashed somewhere?” Although she could hardly believe it possible, coincidence did favor Reinhard in exactly this way when he wanted it to.

He responded only to her surge of physical tension. “Are you ready to rise and face the day?” His weight shifted as if he was about to slide away.

“No!” shouted Felt, in a swelter of panic and confusion and hurt. “I will never forgive you if you if you’ve been manipulating me this way, you bastard!”

He froze. “Lady Felt… That has not been my intention, I swear, but the circumstances—”

Felt squeezed his hand as hard as she could. “If it’s not your aim, then don’t go running away as soon as I ask, dumbass.”

He relaxed once more. “My lady, that grip would be quite painful for anybody else.”

“Sure, but you can take it just fine.” Felt mashed his fingers a bit more before giving up on getting any other reaction from him. “Well?”

“Ah. While it’s true that I did recently rescue some abandoned kits, I was planning on rehoming them without bringing them to your attention… until you made me imagine the addition of one (or perhaps two) to our household.”

“And that has nothing to do with how you’ve been cuddling up to me and rubbing my belly, is that what you’re claiming?”

Without any hesitation he said, “I couldn’t say. I woke like this; it’s not impossible that I dreamt of baby animals and grew confused by your proximity. But I can say that I’ve barely touched the kits as of yet. I only checked their health before putting them in a basket, after which I delivered them to Marian the midwife, who agreed to temporarily foster them while I found them new homes.”

Then, meditatively, he said, “But it’s also true I’ve never cuddled this close to another human before. Well, not since I was a young child myself. I do recall that we had a large dog when I was around eight—”

"That's it!" Felt finally had enough, and jumped in his arms, spinning to face him and grabbing him by his shirt front. The fact that he released her hand in time for her to spin freely was just fuel to the flames. “You bastard, you didn’t just take my arm, you took the whole bed! Which one of us is the mistress and which one the dog, huh? Tell me that!”

His arms closed back around her as he met her gaze with his radiant blue eyes, their heads on the same pillow. He was smiling broadly in the face of her wrath. “Normally I would protest such a term, but I’m happy to be of service to my lady in whatever way she requires.”

“You really shouldn’t be smirking like that when somebody’s calling you a dog, you know?” She shook his shirt back and forth, but couldn’t budge him. 

Instead of answering, one of his hands slipped under the back of her pajama top, tickling her back a little.

Warningly, she said, “You know, I’m in a great position to bring you a whole world of hurt, unless you’re immune to that too.” She shifted a knee meaningfully.

His hand stilled, but stayed against her skin. But the faint remainder of his earlier smile remained in his eyes as he said, “I assure you, it would hurt as much as you imagine. But I’ve already accepted that I will face harsh consequences for the liberties I’ve taken.”

Felt eyed him sourly. “Did you now. Way to take all the fun out of it, dumbass.” Reinhard _letting_ her hit him wasn’t satisfying at all.

Then an idea occurred to her and she grinned, her fang showing. When his eyes narrowed, which she recognized from her long-ago run of failed escape attempts before she’d joined the Royal Selection, she said, “No no, Reinhard. You said you’d take whatever I dish out, right?”

[bassettmemes]

GIRL MEETS THE ASK MEME ↳ quotes from the disney channel show girl meets world.

"it only makes sense to me when I can get in trouble for it."

"we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."

"we're here to make somebody else happy."

"i think life puts people in front of us, so that we can be prepared for what happens next."

"hope looks great on you."

"don’t let your history be one of missed opportunities."

"if something that’s important to us today is so easily replaced by something else tomorrow, we have to wonder if it ever really had any value at all."

"it seems to me this isn’t a distraction at all. it’s a lifestyle."

"i’m not in control of anything. that’s what makes life so easy for me. when you think about it, nothing’s really my fault yet."

"as much as we think we show everybody who we are when we’re completely in charge of what happens, we find out who we really are when we’re not."

"the truith is, when you try to control life, life does its best to teach you not to."

"it's not intruding if you really want to hear."

"the best thing about being alive is to feel part of something."

"it’s funny about these things we hold on to and how life lets us know when it’s time to let it go."

"we have this one little life and for a lot of it, we just blow around in the wind. but if we’re lucky and we believe that life knows what’s best for us, sometimes we land on the right someone to talk to."

"the lives we’ve led until now have made us both wonder if life knows what it’s doing with us at all."

"learn from pompeii. as you live next to each other, understand that every once in a while, things explode."

"i have faith that in a new place you can learn from the people who have already been there."

"change fills my pockets with pennies of uncertainty."

"the truth is, people get comfortable with what’s familiar and when you get too comfortable, you don’t allow yourself room to grow."

"the worst thing you can do is fold your arms and refuse to accept what’s gonna come anyway."

"when you know you’re not good for people, you start not showing up, and then you don’t show up enough times, and it begins to feel like leaving until you do."

"only you get to decide when you quit."

"you had to take it out on somebody, i’m glad you felt safe enough to take it out on me."

"everyone has great gifts, and everyone has the potential to impact our world."

"don’t live under a label, it just gets in the way of who you are."

"what I think of myself is that it really bothers me what other people think of me."

"when you become someone else, even though you’re just acting, it’s impossible not to discover something you didn’t know before."

"when you have strong emotions for someone, it’s like you’re too close to see straight."

"maybe if you don’t hope for too much, but let yourself hope for one thing, it might actually happen."

"it’s not the big gestures that we do for other people that help us grow up, but the small choices you make for yourself."

"friends talk to each other, but real friends listen."

"being what other people want you to be is just a sword hanging over your head."

"i am a continuation. that's what history is about."

"ladies and gentlemen, i have achieved time travel!"

"being good at sports is just a matter of physics."

"don't you mess up america's most favorite thing with america's least favorite thing!"

"not everyone lives for theories and numbers."

"that's right, i lied right in yo face!"

"oh, yeah, we don't have walls... i told you we needed walls!"

[lostnfounder]

[The following is an interaction that took place between Lostfield Reporter Ruth Shirbon and Chase Bonk the demon.]

[The audio is filled with the backdrop of people talking, occasionally laughing, occasionally clinking silverware on plates. Some nondescript soft rock song is playing quietly in the background as a waitress calls out an order number, and then someone closer to the phone begins to speak.]

R: So.

C: [Taking an excessive amount of time getting comfortable.]

[Pause.]

R: [Clears throat.]

C: Ah- Uh. Hi.

R: [Dryly.] Hi, Chase.

C: Uh. Nice… booth, we’re at, huh? I’ve never actually been, uh, in here.

R: [Frowns.] … Yes you have.

C: Huh?

R: I watched you steal a bag of food from here in my car.

C: Wh- Ohhh, my god, I remem- wait, you saw that?? 

R: Yeah. I was… writing a log, in my car. I think.

C: Oh, jeez. [Awkward pause.] Good thing I wore my disguise, then! Wouldn’t want any, uh- [He looks alarmed as a waitress passes.] -any angry employees recognizing me.

{For context, Chase was wearing a some old school baseball cap I had lying around in my house the entire time.}

R: If anything, if they recognized you, they’d probably want your autograph. [Take a fry out of the basket in the middle of the table and pops it in their mouth, wincing at how hot it is.] They’d think you’re still, uh, what’s his face, Charles-

C: Charlie. 

R: Right, uh. Charlie Goopsicle or whatever.

C: It’s. It’s not that hard to remember.

R: When have I remembered literally anything.

C: [Furrows his brow.] Plenty of times. Like literally just now when you-

R: Chase.

C: What.

R: [Raises eyebrows.]

C: What!! I’m… Oh. Right. I’m, uh, stalling, huh.

R: [Nods slowly.]

C: Ah.

[Long silence, filled by more restaurant ambience.]

R: [Loud sigh.]

C: Okay, okay! Uh. Where do I… [Exhales nervously.] Okay. Uh, okay. So. It started with… uh… I was… streaming, and then… I… wasn’t. I’d just ended stream. Uhm. And. I-I don’t really remember the next part, but there was this… woman. Uhm. Who… Pulled me away, and. There were a lot of other people. Mostly other streamers, I think. But the lady, uh. She’s the one who gave me the sword. Uhm. I-I don’t remember… a lot. 

[Slight pause.]

C: She… She seemed sad. In an angry way. E-Everyone I saw there did. That… The arm guy, uh.

R: Edgar?

C: Yeah, him. That, uh, was around the time we interacted, maybe. I don’t… really remember. I remember a crowbar, and… [Trails off into silence.]

R: And…?

C: I don’t know. I-It’s all a blur. I don’t… I don’t like thinking about it. That’s… That’s why I haven’t. Said anything. So far. I’m sorry.

R: [Furrows brow.] You don’t have to apologize, Chase.

C: [Nearly cutting them off.] But I do remember falling out of the window. She, uh. She pushed me.

R: Jesus fucking Christ??

C: What? No, no, it was a good thing!

R: Defenestrating you was a good thing?? 

C: Y- What?

R: Do you seriously not know what that word means by now. That’s like, my go-to joke threat.

C: N-

[Suddenly, a waitress appears at the side of the table.]

W: Can I get y’all anything else? Drink refills?

R: No, no, we’re-

C: Can I get another Shirley Temple?

W: Of course, sweetie. 

[She walks off and Chase turns back to Ruth with a shit eating grin.]

R: I can’t believe you’ve done that. Twice.

C: She called me sweetie.

R: [Sigh, but she snorts afterwards. Their tone turns serious again.] But, uh. Continue.

C: [Deep breath in and out.] Yeah. Yeah, uh. When I first got… outside, I just… laid there. For a minute. I looked up and… saw the sky, and… stars, for the first time, and… [Mournful laugh.] I thought I was fucking dead.

R: [Very quietly.] Jesus christ, Chase.

C: Yeah. But then some of the other streamers pulled me up off the ground and tried to figure out what we were gonna do. Most of them fucking ran off as soon as they got out, which is… basically what I ended up doing, actually. There were a few people that tried to tag along with me, at first, but… I don’t know. I was scared out of my mind. Showfall was everything I’d… and now I had to leave, because it was killing me, but. God. The month in the woods was the part I wish I didn’t remember. 

R: What about the people that followed you though? When I found you you were alone.

C: Yeah, uh. I left them. They all went to sleep. I was… supposed to be taking first watch. And I just… left. I’m pretty sure they’re still okay, if I am, but. I still don’t know why I…

R: Hey, you were trying to look out for yourself. 

C: Yeah, and only that. The- The worst part is, I still don’t really care, either. I just- abandoned a group of people that needed me to defend them and took our only- collective weapon with me to another part of the forest and sat there in the dark until the sun rose.

R: Well. I mean. You had just gotten out of Showfall? And you were scared. Scared people do stupid things sometimes.

C: It was stupid.

R: That is… not the point I am trying to make there.

[At this point, the waitress returns and sets Chase’s drink on the table.]

W: Enjoy!

R: Yeah, uh, we will. I guess.

C: [Smiles at the drink, but it kind of fades away after a moment.] I was a coward.

R: Hey, I. I get it, alright?

C: [Glares at them.] No, you really don’t.

R: That- Okay, that’s not what I meant--fuck, I worded that wrong. Uhm. But when I moved out of my parent’s house… I made a lot of dumb decisions. Because I was terrified. Of them. Of that house. I kind of figured it would get better after I left, after I stopped talking to them forever, but. [Dry laugh.] It got worse. It got so much worse. When anyone knocked on my door, I would be frozen in fucking terror because I thought they’d found me--on my worse days I thought it was God, or an angel, or some shit. I’m- I’m sure I scared a lot of food delivery drivers, opening the door crying.

[Pause, for a few moments.]

R: Kind of ironic, huh. Spending all my time theorizing about you demons when I should be scared of angels.

C: Yeah, that’s… you wonder why I was so scared of the pizza guy that first week.

R: Pfft. Yeah. But, y’know. I wasn’t actually in any real danger, not like you, I imagine, but… It still got easier. The more time I spent away from them. 

C: Did you ever leave a group of people to die?

 [Silence.]

R: Well. No. But you don’t know if they died.

C: What about that corpse in the woods? 

[Ruth freezes for a moment.]

R: I- I don’t know, Chase. Was one of the people with you, like, full of glass and wiring and metal and shit? Was her name Adeline?

C: … No. Okay. You’re right. I’m being paranoid. I just… [Sigh.] I should feel bad about it.

R: Well, you’re still trying to survive. It makes sense if you can’t really care. 

C: Are you? Still trying to survive?

R: [Shrug.] Maybe? Though… I guess if I’ve stopped thinking about that, then maybe not. But… it comes and goes. That time I got the letter from my mom definitely didn’t help. 

C: … Neither did the visit from that employee.

R: But we’re getting better, yeah?

[A pause.]

C: [Quietly. Almost reluctantly.] Yeah. 

R: … Well, if that’s everything, then we can, uh, finish our food, and- did- did you already finish that fucking Shirley Temple??

C: [Blinks and then smiles, his teeth stained red.] Can I have anoth-

R: No!! I am not wasting all of my money on weird mocktails for you. You’re- You’re literally an adult, you can get actual drinks, you know that, right?

C: [Obnoxious drink slurping sounds.] I just think they’re neat.

[Pause for a few moments, the two of them just sitting in comfortable silence while the ambience of the restaurant continues peacefully in the background. Eventually the waitress comes by again and gives them the bill. Ruth pays and the two of them sit there for another moment.]

R: Okay, it’s getting late, uh. We should head out. I’m tired as fuck from staying up to give Adam back to Mr. Fast and Furious last night. [She stands, audibly stretching from the way her joints pop.] Ow.

C: [Frowning as he stands and follows them.] He wasn’t that mad.

R: What?

C: What??

[There’s a swish as the door is pushed open, the quiet noise of the restaurant fading away as the two of them step out into the night. The sound of light rainfall replaces the chatter.]

R: Oh, shit, it’s raining? I didn’t even notice.

[The words are barely out of her mouth before Chase dashes ahead of her into the drizzle.]

C: YEAHH!!!

R: Pfft, oh my god.

C: It’s RAINING!!!

R: [Starts to walk after him.] I don’t get it, how are you still so excited about this?

C: How am I supposed to get used to WATER falling from the SKY? That’s crazy, man. Absolutely bonkers behavior from the sky right there. Incredible.

R: Yeah- [They pause as they come to a stop at the car parked out front, fumbling with their keys.] -incredibly good at getting me cold and wet. And very sad. [There’s a sound of keys finally sliding into the car lock, and then a car door opening. Ruth, at this point, turns to look back at Chase.] Please get in the car.

[Chase is spinning around in circles in the middle of the parking lot a few meters away from her, laughing hysterically. They sigh over-dramatically.]

R: I will leave you here, I swear to god. 

C: [He yelps.] Okay, okay!! [Footsteps on wet pavement rapidly approach where the recording device is.]

[The two of them both climb in the car, isolating the sound of the rain to just light tapping on the roof overhead.]

R: [Grumbling.] You’re all wet.

C: I’m fine.

R: It’s not you I’m worried about. [She pats her seat as if trying to reassure the car.] There, there. 

C: The car will also be fine.

R: [Ignoring him.] No, shh, shh. Don’t cry. I know.

C: Oh my god.

[They both laugh, snickering ended by the sound of the car starting. There’s a brief pause.]

C: … Did you remember to, like. Turn off your recording thing?

R: What? Of course I… Wait a fucking second-

[There’s a sound of rustling fabric as Ruth hunts for her phone.]

R: Oh my god, I didn-

[Transcript end.]

[razorblade180]

Special

Ruby:Hey J-

The young lady sees her friend struggling to pull is sword out of a tree trunk. He freezes in place, slowly falling as the blade slips out.

Ruby:…Are you losing to a tree?

Jaune:No! I just- learning new skills is hard!

Ruby:What skill?

Jaune:I asked Ren how he was able to throw his blades and have them come back. Apparently with the right force and technique, a lot of swords can do it. Thought it might be interesting to learn.

Ruby:From the looks at that gash I think you have force covered. Maybe a little too much.

Jaune:I’m still learning. Doesn’t help that it’s not exactly balanced evenly.

Ruby:Let me see.

He hands her Crocea Mor. Ruby holds it flat with both hands to feel the weight before gripping the hilt with her right. She dashed back with Jaune to move him away from the tree. Raising the blade, Ruby hurled it, making it cut threw the air as it spun. Crocea Mor went past the tree before then started coming back around from the other side. It flew right back into her hand.

Ruby:*smiles* I throw Crescent Rose a lot. It’s in the wrist, also diagonal throw.

Jaune:….Sometimes I forget how gifted you are.

Ruby:!? Oh…umm I’m sorry. Guess this sort of thing isn’t exactly eas-

Jaune:That…was a compliment. Ruby, you’re awesome.

Ruby:Oh. Hehe, it’s no big deal. Thanks.

Jaune:You first tried it. I’d say that’s pretty big. Guess there’s a reason you got into school when you did.

Ruby:Honestly it’s nice you keep forgetting. Being gifted isn’t all that. *looks at sword* It just means you burn out faster from all the expectations.

Jaune:….

Ruby:….!? Whoops! Didn’t mean to dampen the mood.

Jaune:Something you want to talk about?

Ruby:Well…not really. I’m a little tired is all. We’re all punching above our weight these days but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel like I was doing that sense I stopped a dust robbery. Don’t get me wrong, I love being awesome and glad to help. However…being talented feels like it’s a natural resource. Other people use it until it’s all drained. Next thing you know-

Jaune:You end up like Pyrrha?

Ruby:!? I was gonna say exhausted, but yeah, there’s that possibility too. It’s a lot. It may sound weird but being normal sounds so nice. You’re valued, but with in reason. No one is expecting a first try, or early graduate.

She throws the sword around the tree again and catches it before handing it back to Jaune.

Jaune;Would you like to hear my opinion?

Ruby:I’d feel guilty if you didn’t say anything so duh.

Jaune:I believe both you and Pyrrha truly are a gift, but it’s still your gift to give. You just don’t see it that way because of how kind and caring you are to others. If people need you so much then I say set your own pace when you have to. If they value you that much then they’ll listen.

Ruby:Hmm, I never thought of it liked that. In case you haven’t noticed, my pace is pretty quick.

Jaune:Gee I wonder why? I’m proud of Pyrrha for everything she’s done; always will be. Still, I never would’ve blamed her for choosing to slow down for an instant.

Ruby: No one would.

Jaune:That goes the same for you too! If you’re tired then slow down! You’re not alone. It’s not like you’ll be any less amazing. I’m glad you’re so talented honestly. Seeing everything you do is inspiring. Just having you around makes me want try. I’m thankful for that, Ruby.

Ruby:*blushes*….So, wanna try tossing the sword again? It’s pretty hot out here so we shouldn’t doddle. Remember, wrist flick and diagonal.

Jaune throws the sword and surprisingly, it does go around the tree, however…

Jaune:What’s the trick to catching!?

Ruby:…..

She dashed ahead and grabs the blade before any accidents could happen.

Jaune:That…could’ve been terrible for me.

Ruby:My bad! Ya see, if I was normal, i I would’ve thought to explain the entire process beforehand.

Jaune:Why do I find that hard to believe?

Ruby:Wow! Okay then, I won’t teach you.

Jaune:Oh don’t be like that! *hugs her* Gifted or not, you’re still you.

Ruby:Is that your way of calling me chaotic.

Jaune:No. Just saying you’re special to me regardless.

Ruby:….*hugs back* Then I guess…feeling special isn’t all that bad. It also makes you special.

Jaune:Yeah but it’s like a participation trophy when it’s me.

Ruby:Oh my gods…

Jaune:All I’m saying is I just threw sword with no plan to catch it. Like who the hell does that!?

Ruby:Hahaha, don’t worry. We’ll take things from the top.

[makeste]

BnHA 326: What’s up Kids, It’s Me, Your Old Pal Stain

Previously on BnHA: Ochako shamed the U.A. Clown Mob into letting Deku go back inside his own fucking school by giving them an hour-long speech about how not to be humongous dickheads. Kouta and Gigantic Fox Lady saved the manga by being the only ones brave enough to give Deku a hug. Shouto was all “man, all this togetherness sure does remind me of that promise you made that we would handle Touya together which you immediately bailed on, doesn’t it, Dad.” Aizawa was all, “for the one and a half people out there who thought that my losing an eye and a leg might actually make me less sexy, I’m very happy to prove you wrong.” All Might was all, “[standing outside the U.A. fortress alone in the rain talking to someone or something??].” Like seriously, what was up with that though.

Today on BnHA: All Might is all “here I am in Kamino having a belated mid-life crisis because Deku abandoned me and I’m a terrible mentor and everything sucks and I hate myself.” Stain is all, “don’t make me come over there and give you a ten page speech about why you’re still the goat while menacingly holding you at swordpoint the entire time” because idk if you knew this guys, but Stain is pretty crazy actually. Anyway so he does that, and then All Might gets all emotional, and then the lady from chapter 92 shows up and gives All Might’s statue an encouraging pep talk, and then Horikoshi is all “and it even stopped raining lol can you believe this shit I’m not even a little bit subtle,” and he really isn’t. But I still got emotional anyway, because seeing people reassure All Might that everything he’s struggled for his entire life hasn’t been in vain just got to me okay. Horikoshi knows I am weak to the All Might feels and he just goes for the jugular every time, that bastard.

lmao. “in the neverending downpour, All Might is...” yeah, thank you, glad we’re getting right to that then

“All Might is driving 95 mph in his busted ass car in the pouring rain, is what he’s doing.” huh

so basically a day or two after his adopted child refused to accept the handmade bento that he packed with love, my man is out here acting like he’s got nothing to live for anymore. this sure bodes well for certain prophecies on which the clock is still ominously ticking down

his fucking face though omg. is it weird that I’m kind of hoping more people ambush him just because I think it’d be funny to see them get their asses kicked like the last bunch

(ETA: or maybe he will just stand there openly not giving a fuck and basically daring them to stab him!! get it together please All Might.)

side note, “anti-hero supporters” is such a strange way of saying “people who hate heroes”, which I’m assuming is what they actually wanted to say?? this makes it sound like it’s a group that really loves antiheroes. “these Hannibal stans have been a real menace lately. time to go deal with them”

ha ha ha, fucking ouch

are you really gonna do it Horikoshi you bastard. are you really going to let that be the final encounter between the two characters whose relationship you once described as the vertical axis of the entire fucking story. are you really gonna?? huh??

huh

you’re telling me you were driving 112 mph and you still didn’t get there in time. you’re losing your touch old man. lol Todo’s ice is almost fully melted already, how late were you

(ETA: so apparently this is taking place after the end of chapter 325, meaning he went to U.A., hung out for a bit, saw the kids come back with his bedraggled half-dead protégé in tow, watched as they shamed the civilians into some long-overdue character development, and then was all “welp, time to go argue with the hero-hating faction or something because I’m feeling useless.” and Edge just let him go, just like that. though to be fair I have to imagine it’s pretty hard to say no to All Fucking Might.)

also belated lol at the fact that the kids were all “yeahhhhhhh we are definitely not gonna touch that thing, let’s just leave it here, he doesn’t need it anyway.” probably the right call to make since they couldn’t get a hazmat team on such short notice

fuck. ha ha ha fucking ouch part two

All Might please put that thing down before you get gangrene. also yeah, you dropped the ball, good for you to acknowledge it. nobody’s perfect and you did your best. but yeah you could have handled a lot of things completely differently. but I still love you

is Horikoshi really putting this flashback here. are you serious. what kind of fucking sadist

look, I swear I’m not one of those people that runs up and down the street shouting “DEATH FLAG!!” at every third panel lol. but this shit screamed Death Flag when we originally got it, and it’s screaming DEATH FLAG!!! even more now. like with the capital letters and exclamation marks and all. and that’s just a fact. I don’t like it but that’s how it is

ffkdjslk

“DID YOU READ THE SIGN??!” Horikoshi asks while zooming in maniacally because he thinks we’re blind or something. lol what

-- though actually, it only just occurred to me that this sign is actually written in English. I never really paid attention up until now and had been assuming it was written in Japanese and translated by the scanlators, but the writing here is clearly part of the original image. anyway so maybe that’s why he’s zooming in?? just to make sure everybody pays attention lol

okay fuck this

see, this is the whole problem right here. once again All Might is all on his own. Deku’s self-destructive angst spiral was fortunately brought to a grinding halt because he actually has support from his friends and family and teachers and classmates. but All Might never had that same kind of support, and it’s made all the difference between the two of them, and not in a good way. Katsuki wasn’t wrong when he said All Might and Deku were both cut from the same cloth. but now when it’s All Might’s turn to go all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD~~” once again, there’s nobody in sight

just, after forty plus years of him carrying this torch, I just wish someone would finally come along to let him know he doesn’t have to. all those things that he wanted to say to Deku are also things that he needs and deserves to hear himself. Aizawa was making a little progress there, but now he’s got his sad zombie cloud boyfriend situation to deal with, and we can’t expect him and his perfect hair to solve all our problems. someone else has gotta step up

oh my god

“you rang?” never mind I take it all back sob

omg why am I laughing. shit

this man truly has the best PR game in the series. we were truly convinced he was gonna suddenly become a good guy and defend All Might against the other villains or some nonsense. as if this wasn’t the same man who decided on a whim that Iida Tensei deserved to be paralyzed, and that his fifteen-year-old brother deserved to die for daring to be upset about it

lol even All Might is all “I genuinely never saw this coming” lmao

just want to say, for the record, I have always harbored a very sensible hatred toward Stain. feeling very vindicated right now. good job Past Me

adsfklwkfsdwgkj

ffffwefjslkg. ghsdlkg. dsfkkkslkjldwkjrg

STAIN: heard you talking shit old man

ME: smh that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Stain

STAIN: how dare you talk about All Might that way

ME: gljfljgk

(ETA: in hindsight I have no idea how I didn’t clue in sooner that he didn’t recognize him -- or, well, ~didn’t recognize~ him, to be more accurate lol. I think it was the whole “is that a slight against the heroes?” thing that threw me. Viz’s translation makes it much clearer that he’s offended on behalf of All Might specifically, not heroes in general. anyways.)

sob. so All Might is all “yeah I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this sweet leather jacket”

good thing he still knows how to do this party trick

A+ reflexes on Stain’s part presumably pulling the sword back a few inches to keep this dumbass from impaling himself with his whole pufferfish routine. can you imagine if that was the gruesome death Nighteye foresaw. and he was just too embarrassed to say anything

lol anyways guess I was wrong about Stain everyone

way to fucking go, Past Me. you really biffed this one

oh wait

Stain sure is one wacky rollercoaster ride

oh fuck me lol I forgot how much I did not miss this

(ETA: “this here is the sacred ground where All Might gave up the last of his power and turned into a shriveled old man!! please ignore the part where I admit to knowing all about that, and yet pretend not to recognize said man when he’s standing two feet in front of me.”)

Past Me, I know we’ve had our ups and downs these past ninety seconds, but I’m really starting to think you were on to something. this dude has always been kind of insufferable. always acting like his high horse is a fucking giraffe when it’s actually a Shetland pony

dammit now he’s got All Might going off on a depressed monologue

oh my god my heart

shit

why the fuck does that hit so hard. he became a hero because he couldn’t bear to just sit back and let bad things happen to people who didn’t deserve it. I mean that’s basically the same as every hero ever, right? so why does it still hit so fucking hard every single time though. what is it about seeing someone so determined to stand up for other people and fight on their behalf. it just never loses its impact no matter how many times I see that determination mirrored in so many of my favorite characters

“I wanted to make the world a better place.” omg. but you did, though. like seriously, I feel like people are always dogging on him for not being 100% perfect, and fandom really doesn’t give him enough credit for everything he still managed to accomplish. this man came of age at a time when Japan was by all accounts a total shitshow, and singlehandedly managed to bring about an era of peace that lasted for four fucking decades. can you imagine having peace for that long?? that’s longer than I’ve been alive. shit

and he gave people hope. he inspired them and protected them and made them feel safe. and no, he couldn’t save everyone, because he’s only one fucking dude (and also because the whole time AFO was also out there desperately working to undermine him so that he could keep preaching his narrative of “heroes are bad actually”). but you know what he did do, is inspire multiple new generations of heroes who, if they can all manage to work together, will finally be able to accomplish everything he never could

so yeah. forty years of peace, and inspired the “that’s how we all became the greatest heroes” generation -- that’s a fucking win in my book. talk about having a net positive impact on the world. lol anyways now I’m all fired up and ready to fight anyone who tries to talk any shit about you, All Might

“but what if I talk shit about myself” okay listen up All Might I’m gonna need you to try just a little bit harder to work with me here okay. please calm down and stop blaming yourself for every single bad thing that’s ever happened in the world. do you remember that time Bakugou was blaming himself for Kamino, and you gave him a hug and told him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was only a boy, and that even though he was strong, even strong people can struggle with the burdens they place on themselves, and that you were sorry for not seeing that earlier? do you remember all of that? that’s what I want someone to tell you too, dammit. anyway please stop breaking my heart please and thanks

wtf

are you dead All Might

um

I don’t even have the slightest idea what’s happening lol

oh snap did he grab him so they could hide??

hold the fucking phone. don’t tell me this person in the background with the umbrella is here to actually do something decent??

oh my godddd

and here come the feels. oh boy. okay don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit here sobbing over this fictional lady and her simple act of kindness in this weekly shounen manga that I care about way too much

FUCKING DAMMIT AND HERE’S A SECOND HELPING

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST GETTING DISPROPORTIONATELY EMOTIONAL OVER THIS WOMAN’S DETERMINATION TO HONOR A MAN WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. I’M JUST HAVING SOME FEELS OVER HERE ABOUT HER HEARTFELT, DOESN’T-EVEN-KNOW-ANYONE-ELSE-IS-WATCHING FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE THAT COMPELLED HER TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL GESTURE. I’M JUST OUT HERE GETTING ALL PROFOUNDLY WORKED UP ABOUT STATUE MAINTENANCE AND THE HUMAN RACE. NEVER MIND. JUST IGNORE ME AND CARRY ON

holy shit. I was not even remotely prepared. you can’t just do that to me. you can’t just leave all these death flags on my lawn and then suddenly shift gears to show me the best of humanity in a chapter where I was expecting the worst. that fucks a person up lol

OH ARE WE STILL GOING

my heart. you see that, All Might. your legacy is so much more powerful and meaningful than you think

...has. has Stain actually been giving All Might a pep talk this entire time

I give up lol. this dude is a fucking enigma

YAYYY

it may just be a metaphor panel, but I’ll take it lol. I missed them. nice to see the traffic light trio front and off-center. I know the whole “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes” thing had left some questioning whether certain characters would continue to play a central role in the narrative, and hopefully this will help to ease those concerns just a bit

anyway, so idk if it’s getting a bit chilly down there in hell, but damned if Stain didn’t just give an actual decent fucking speech

I have to say, earlier when I was whining about All Might not having a support squad, I really was not expecting Stain to be the one to come over and pat his head and reassure him that he made the world a better place

-- okay LISTEN

YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY HOUSE AND HIT ME WITH THOSE ALL MIGHT TEARS AGAIN GODDAMMIT THIS ISN’T FAIR. my god. first 317 and now this

holy fucking shit

“I’m just gonna pretend like I haven’t been stalking him for two days and didn’t see the entire Deku bentogate thing go down, and then I’ll give him the whole big speech that I rehearsed, and then I’ll turn around and be all ‘BUT IF YOU’RE A TRUE HERO’, and then I’ll toss him the super-secret AFO wifi password that I stole from Tartarus. god I’m such a badass. fucking give myself chills”

so basically what you’re telling me is that this whole time my “what’s up kids” characterization of Stain from this shitpost has actually been 100% accurate. just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. okay then

“and then I’ll dramatically spin around and be all NOW COME KILL ME BITCH”

it must be so much fun to write Stain. drawing this coked-out maniac who talks like a chatbot that was trained to speak by reading Alan Moore monologues. that must be a trip

anyway so All Might is still crying, the awesome lady from chapter 92 is admiring her handiwork totally oblivious to the batshit insanity going on fifty meters to her right, and it’s finally stopped raining lol

“THE RAIN WAS A METAPHOR YOU SEE” yes, yes, we got it lol. thanks for that Horikoshi. don’t think we needed any help putting the pieces together on that one but I appreciate the effort

so that’s the end! and as I mentioned in another post, I had the count off by one chapter, but next week should be cliffhanger week! so break out your U.A. Traitor bingo cards, friends and fiends. either that or something else happens that I’m completely not expecting at all. which, based on my success rate with Stain predictions, I’d say is more than likely lol

mmm but anyway, so now that the Hug Deku 2021 campaign has finally come to an end, what’s it gonna take to get a hug for my struggling bento-preparing jacket-rocking world-weary death-flag-waving husband who is the worthiest man to ever live and deserves the fucking world, goddammit

[lonely-lost-soul]

Under the Floorboards

(Technoblade x Reader) link to Pt. II :)

Picking up a bundle of wood you let out a soft breath, you watched as it escaped out your lips in front of you in a small cloud. Trudging through the snow you made your way back to your house, well it wasn’t really your house. A few months ago you ran into Technoblade while he was searching for a new home far away from this place called L’manburg; he told you he was in retirement and was surprised to find another person all the way out here. As a wandering adventurer, you eventually won him over with your charm, wit, and humor.

That was a joke of course.

You both started a mutual trade agreement, on your way back from the adventures you’d always take a pit stop at his place so he could see if you had anything worth trading. It started slow, he realized you would come back very late at night, and very weary. He offered you to stay the night once, then once turned into twice and before you knew it you began to stay at his place after every late-night adventure. As you spent more time together he helped you become a better fighter, and farmer and you helped him learn social skills and how to cook food that wasn’t steak.

He never told you about his time in the country of L’manburg or why he was in retirement in the first place but you didn’t mind. Everyone has their secrets and even if both of you were considered friends at this point you never pried. Not even when you’d catch him mumbling to himself about chat, or the bloodthirsty look in his eyes after he killed an animal. You kept your mouth shut out of respect, you could tell he appreciated the gesture.

You earned yourself a friendship emerald after he introduced you to his oldest friend Philza, the man treated you like you were his family. It made you feel wanted and welcome, Techno had a little smile on his face the entire interaction as the both of you bonded. In his mind he was ecstatic his two favorite people were getting along. Techno walked Philza out of the house and returned holding an emerald out to you, you knew how valuable these emerald were to him. You were in such shock and awe you almost started crying which caused him to panic.

“I’ll treasure it with my life.” You told him kissing said emerald gently, blush spread across his pale face to his pointed ears.

“I’m glad.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “Chat- chat stop I’m not simp.” You heard him whisper hiss softly but you ignored it, choosing to smile at him instead. He noticed and his blush only deepened. You took his hand, it was so small intertwined in his own, and squeezed it softly.

Eventually, the both of you grew closer than just friends which understandably scared the half pigman to death. You caught him mumbling to himself more frequently, especially when you both were out fighting monsters and gaining experience.

Things like: “I’m not a simp” and “Calm down I’m gonna protect her” as well as “I can’t just say that!” Were very frequent mumblings of his, your brow furrowed and after fighting a baby zombie you turned towards him,

“Hey Technoblade you doing okay?”

“Yes!” He sputtered out reassuring you that he was just fine by saving you from a Skeleton.

You two watched the sunset that same day from on top of a snowy mountain and he confessed to you. The confession was a bit rough around the edges but then again so was he, so to you, it was perfect. You took his hands to get him to stop rambling and kissed his knuckles. He made an embarrassed sound and looked away from you, you cooed teasingly at him and accepted. From then on you both were attached at the hip, well as attached as he’d let you be there was still that level of awkwardness that came with any new relationships but it was wonderful. You’d both spent hours by the fireside as he read to you, you’d help him care for Carl and get enchanted books all the while you were in awe of this magnificent and mysterious man before you.

Shaking your head smiling to yourself you trudged back to his house, the emerald around your neck bounced in tandem with your steps. Technoblade never liked leaving you alone, you reminded him constantly that you had a life before he was in it but he still seemed to be on edge. You figured it had something to do with his past so you did your best to reassure him that you’d be safe when he was away; Techo seemed to appreciate your efforts at least. Whenever he got back from what you assumed was visiting Phil (after all, Carl was gone), you were going to run him a bath and braid his hair the way he liked. Maybe you’d make him a nice dinner then you’d both fall asleep together while reading. It’d earn you some soft kisses and snuggles later, you giggled to yourself as you put away the wood. If you told anyone else this giant of a man, who you’ve seen wipe out hordes of monsters like it was nothing, loves to be cuddled at night they’d call you insane.

You wandered down into the basement to feed his cow but the sound of a blocks-breaking startled you out of your daydream. You whipped around pulling out your sword in the way Technoblade showed you and came face to face with a blonde child peeking out from the floorboards.

“What the FUCK?!” You both shrieked at one another, he moved to try and scramble back down the hole. You followed him down his ladder, you weren’t going to let this child get away with living under your boyfriends’ house so easily. You backed him into a corner and took note of his beat-up appearance and his attempts to look brave as he held up his hands. Sweat gathered on his brow but you didn’t let your guard down, before you could open your mouth to question him he began to talk so fast and loud you could barely keep up.

“OI, OI, OI, OI! LADY, LADY, LADY, CALM DOWNNNN CALM DOWN! SEE, SEE WE’RE BOTH IN TROUBLE CAUSE WE’RE BOTH STEALING- BORROWING FROM THE BLADE! THE BLADE KNOWS ME! I AM HIS LITTLE BROTHER, TOMMY, I AM SURE YOU’VE HEARD OF ME! THEREFOR I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG. YOU-YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, ARE A STRANGER! YOU KNOW HE’S A BLOOD GOD RIGHT? HE’LL ABSOLUTELY KILL YOU, BUT BUT! IF WE KEEP THIS BETWEEN US I WON’T HAVE TO TELL HIM ANYTHING AT ALL FAIR? SEEMS FAIR TO ME-”

You reached your hand out to cover his mouth, your eyes narrowed into slits, “Start again. Softer and slower. Techno never told me he had a brother.” You watched the eyes of the blonde widen in surprise, assumingly at the notion that you already knew Technoblade. Slowly you removed your hand from his mouth but didn’t lower your guard. He cleared his throat, swallowing tentatively.

“I’m Tommy. We’re not related by blood- who ARE you?” he pressed still completely baffled at the appearance of a GIRL who knew Technoblade. Before you could even respond to him he let out another baffled cry. “DOES HE SIMP FOR YOU!?” He shrieked pointing at you as he waved his finger around. “THERE’S NO WAY- HE DOES HOLY SHIT!” Tommy laughed as you blinked rapidly, how was he able to read all that without you even saying anything? You were trying to process who this kid was while also being stuck on the blood god thing. You felt Tommy’s arm around your shoulders suddenly as he pulled you close. “Well, Miss Blade now that we know who you are maybe we can strike a deal-“

“Absolutely Not.”

“HEY! Come on now.” Tommy whined loudly, “I need your help here! Look I’m sure you know why he’s in hiding and all...and well...I might’ve pissed the same people off and-”

“Actually no. I didn’t know that…” You spoke softly deflating a little, “He’s in hiding? From who exactly.”

A look of shock came across Tommy’s face, “You mean...you don’t know? Like about L’manburg and his betrayal.”

“Does it sound like I know? Look Tommy you seem like a nice kid really, but you need to leave-”

“Nonononnonononono. Look it’s fine, I’ve been living here for weeks now-”

“WEEKS?” You snarled a pink flush coming to your cheeks, you grabbed the boy’s arm and began to drag him up the ladders in Techno’s house. Hee was going to kill you like actually this time. You were about to throw open the door but it swung open in front of you. Techno was standing there completely bruised and bloody and you immediately dropped Tommy in favor of him.

“Oh my god Techno what happened?” You breathed out a worried breath he was about to respond before he noticed Tommy. He grabbed you by the arm and pushed you behind him guarding you with his body.

“Tommy.” He snarled as the boy once again shrieked and booked it back down the ladder Techno turned towards you, “Stay here.” Technoblade commanded you softly the look in his eyes could only be described as desperate. “Don’t leave. Please.”

“I won’t…” You murmured watching him disappear after the British boy, you hoped he was going to explain everything to you after he dealt with the raccoon. You could hear them shouting from down below you, you couldn’t push it off any longer you needed to get answers from him.

~~~~~~

Part II maybe? Lmk if there’s an interest! Cause I love this man with my whole heart! Thanks so much for reading 🥺✨ link to Pt. II :)

[drawlfoy]

detention, retention, and draco malfoy being a little shit

masterlist request guidelines

pairing: draco x reader

request: no not really

summary: golden trio friend y/n y/l/n tries to extract information out of draco malfoy after being placed in detention together.

warnings: swearing, panic attack kinda stuff, just the dark war things that would come w having the task that draco does

a/n: ayo so i started this as a fic i was originally planning on writing in a week. i discontinued it bc i didn’t think anyone was that interested, but i’ve written for it on and off. it’s about 16k words right now standing, but i’m reposting this as a 2 part series. here are the first ~12k words....enjoy :) IMPORTANT: if you’re like “hey i started reading this in october why tf are you reposting the first two parts” just keep reading ok lmao i promise there’s more there’s about through part 6 in here hehe. i just wanted new readers to be able to pick up on it without being turned off by the fact that it was part 3. this will b e 2 parts and at least 20k words

word count: 11.6k

taglist: @gruffle1 @missmultifandommess @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell

happy reading y’all

For legal purposes, the york pudding she lobbed at Pansy Parkinson’s head on Monday evening was simply meant to be a joke. She didn’t know that her aim was bad enough that it was going to get in Snape’s hair instead--honestly, it wasn’t even supposed to get past the Ravenclaw table, much less veer to the left to make a beeline for the professors--but no matter how much she tried to explain this to McGonagall, her sentence remained the same: detention every Friday. For two months.

Her life was ending for sure.

“I honestly don’t know what you were expecting,” Hermione told her as she gently wiped off the nib of her quill later that night in the common room. “Even if you had hit your mark, that’s still technically assault.”

“Did you even hear what she said to me? She told me that I looked like the type of kid that bit people in primary school,” complained Y/N. “I didn’t even think she knew what primary school was!”

Hermione snorted. “How long ago?”

“Two days. I’ve been waiting until there was something throwable on the dinner table.”

“How very analytic of you.”

“I’m going to hit you.”

“And you wonder why you’ve got detention.” Hermione tsk-ed at her, her face stone serious but her tone light hearted. “Maybe take this as an opportunity to, I don’t know, do your homework for once? So you won’t have to have a breakdown over the next Potion’s essay and beg me to write it for you?”

“I’m going to go to sleep and think terribly mean thoughts about you.”

“Have fun.”

~ 

Detention.

Something that Y/N wasn’t completely unfamiliar with--she’d done her time organizing Snape’s cabinets, just like every other Gryffindor--but it was different when it came to McGonagall. An impressive old lady, she thought that McGonagall saw something in her. She was always the first to chuckle at Y/N’s jokes and hesitated to reprimand her stupid behavior. And she never gave Y/N detention.

Until now, she supposed. 6th year was changing a lot of things--even their Potions professor--so McGonagall turning a new stone shouldn’t have been anything shocking.

At least, not as shocking as the first thing Y/N saw as she walked into her house head’s office.

“Malfoy?” she spat.

The platinum blonde didn’t even bother to look up from his desk.

“Miss Y/L/N,” Professor McGonagall chided. “I think we would all prefer if you restrained yourself from getting into any more physical altercations with Slytherins.”

She huffed, plopping down in the chair furthest away from that foul git and reaching for her satchel.

“I’ll be back in two hours,” said the elderly professor. “If I hear anything, and I mean anything, other than the sound of studying, consider your sentence doubled.”

With a swish of her robes, McGonagall was gone, leaving her with Malfoy. 

“So what’d you do to get in here, huh? Did the administration finally get a hold of that video of you licking Voldemort’s toes?”

“What the fuck does that mean?!” he snapped, whipping around to glare at her.

“‘s just a joke,” said Y/N. “Like--how everyone says your family houses him and everything--but whatever. I can tell it’s a sore spot.”

His gaze, never withering in intensity, remained trained on her face. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Apparently so. What’re you here for?”

He exhaled sharply. “If I tell you, will you shut up and let me think?”

“No promises, but maybe.”

“Late work. I forgot to turn in the Transfiguration exam last week.”

She made a tutting sound as she lazily shuffled through the crumpled parchment in her satchel. “I expected more from you. Aren’t you gonna ask me how I wound up here?”

“No. I am going to ask you to stop talking now, though.”

~

“That’s terribly unfortunate,” Hermione said over breakfast the next morning. Ron and Harry were nervously chit chatting at the other side of the table over the Saturday Quidditch game against Hufflepuff--supposedly it was supposed to be quite a high stakes match. Not like Y/N cared much, though.

“Yeah! And the worst part was that he won’t even tease anymore. Like, he just sits there all broody and woe is me. We’re all witnessing our nation’s descent into war--he’s not special!”

“Who are you talking about?” asked Harry.

“Oh, just Malfoy,” said Y/N. “We have detention together with McGonagall. He’s such a nasty little greaseball, don’t you think? I mean, look at him right now, glowering over his cereal.”

“Wait! That’s it!”

“What’s it, Harry?” Hermione asked.

“It’s genius, really,” he said. “Y/N has to spend time with him alone every week, and we know that something is up with him. Malfoy is absolutely a Death Eater and has connections to You-Know-Who, but I just need to find a way to prove it.”

“I vaguely forecast where this is going, and I hate it already.”

“Listen, Y/N. It’s not for that long, and it’s for the health of the wizarding world. If you just get to know him--”

“Ick!”

“If you just get to know him, maybe get him to trust you and find out his secrets...we’d finally have enough to turn him in and throw him out of Hogwarts for good.”

“Is that really necessary, Harry?” Ginny butted in from her seat further down next to Dean. “Malfoy’s probably just exhausted like the rest of you. 6th year is difficult, and we have no solid evidence that he’s a Death Eater. I’m sure being stuck in a room with him for 2 hours is hard enough without pretending to be nice to him.”

“But what if Harry’s right?” said Y/N. “What if he is actually a Death Eater? What if he’s an active danger to the student body?”

“Exactly!” The joy written across Harry’s face at the prospect of someone else finally agreeing was infectious. “So will you?”

“Er…” She dragged her spoon across the top layer of her porridge. “In theory, sure. In actuality, I’m not sure how I could do it. Malfoy doesn’t want anything to do with me, either.”

“Love potion?” offered Ron.

“I don’t care how much of a prat he is, I’m not roofying him.”

“I rarely agree with you, Y/N, but I think you’re right. If you want to do this, you need to get him to trust you for real.”

“Your back-handed compliment skills never disappoint, Hermione. Do you think you could help me out with a plan?”

A slow smile spread across the girl’s face as she nodded. “That’s my strong suit.”

The plan they laid out over the remainder of the day was ambitious but at least do-able. Each week was split into different subtasks, the end goal being a somewhat tentative friendship between the two. 

“If you can flirt with him and get him to have a crush on you without scaring him off, you’d be in the best possible position,” Hermione told her as they walked back from the Quidditch pitch among the screaming Gryffindor fans. They’d won--yet again. “Obviously I don’t foresee that being likely, but if you pull it off somehow he’d probably be willing to tell you anything. The fact that you’re a pureblood is going to carry you through this whole ordeal. He’ll at least be accepting of your existence in the wizarding community.”

The bitter edge in Hermione’s tone made Y/N’s blood boil. There was no reason for Malfoy to be as prejudiced as he was--he’d spent his adolescence in Hermione’s academic dust. She was obviously smarter than him. 

“You got it, ‘Mione,” she said. Her voice barely carried over the cheers of her peers as they ascended the steps to the common room. “We’ll take this little ferret down. I can’t wait.”

“Don’t get too cocky, now.”

The Gryffindor after-party was crazy...per usual. The charmed self-filling goblets, the blasted playlist of Wizpop pumping through the air, and the buzzing energy of the room was giving Y/N a giant headache. She stood with Hermione and Harry by the edge of the crowd, watching Ron get hoisted up on the shoulders of the chasers. 

“No wonder the Slytherins think we’re Neanderthals,” Y/N mused. For once, Hermione didn’t respond. “Hermione? Is everything okay?”

The second she turned away to look at her best friend, gasps and whistles filled the room. She whipped back just in time to see Lavender Brown, a sweet but slightly ditzy girl in their year, pull away from a kiss with Ron.

“Oh shi--Hermione!”

Harry and Y/N shared a glance before darting after the witch--who had impressively already made it to the door. 

“Hermione, wait!” Y/N called as they jogged after her, throwing open the common room entrance and finding her sat by the tapestry on the other side of the hall, knees to her chest.

“‘Mione, what’s wrong?” asked Harry.

“Don’t be daft, Harry,” said Y/N. “You saw exactly what the rest of us did.”

“I don’t understa--”

“Harry.” Her voice was taut. “I know you’re just trying to help, but I think that it might be best if you let us be. Go back and enjoy the party.”

He gave her a tight, grateful smile before darting back through the door. Y/N wasted no more time in walking over to Hermione and throwing her arms around her shoulders.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, hugging her tight. Hermione made no move to detach them, so she continued. “Ron is an idiot. You deserve so much better--your first kiss was Viktor fucking Krum, after all. You’re hot stuff and this place is just unfortunately running dry of men who are impressive enough for you. Once you’re out of here and working in the Ministry, you’re gonna have the time of your life with men actually in your league.”

Hermione managed a sniffly laugh as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “It’s just so fucking embarrassing, you know. Like, I have a crush on him because I think he understands me and I smelled him in my Amortentia and I thought he’d like me back, but…” She hiccuped. “Then he goes off and kisses Lavender Brown, of all people. There’s nothing particularly wrong with her or anything, but she’s so different...I’m so bookish, and she’s so girly and everything I’m not…”

Y/N took the opportunity to tuck a lock of Hermione’s hair behind her ear as she listened.

“And it can’t help but make me think--was I ever anything to him but a friend? If the girl he ends up choosing is the opposite of me?”

“Girly, don’t think like that,” murmured Y/N. “He’s a teenage boy. They don’t think of love the way that we do--to them it’s a game of availability, not of choice. At least for Ronald. You intimidate him, and by extension, you’re not available.”

“That shouldn’t matter!”

“You’re right. It shouldn’t.” Y/N drew a long breath. “So you should find someone who always has you as their first choice--someone who isn’t intimidated by your intellect. They’re out there. I promise.”

Hermione managed a shaky smile. “Thanks, Y/N. I mean it. Do you mind if I have some alone time? I don’t think I’m ready to go back to the party but I just want some quiet.”

“Of course. Let me know if you need me,” she said, brushing herself off and making to walk down the hall.

“You’re not going back to the party?”

“Nah. It hurts my head and I want fresh air. If I’m not back here in a half hour, assume that I’ve been kidnapped.”

With that, she started her walk. She wasn’t planning on going on a long stroll--there was a small balcony that she often went to when she needed to clear her head. It was beautiful, especially on a snowy night like this.

But the walk was creepy.

There was only one way in and out--a narrow, damp hallway that had absolutely no light fixtures. If Y/N really wanted to, she could cast a quick lumos, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to see what lived on the walls. The stairs were steep, too, but she managed to bound up all 40 of them in record time. 

“Who’s there?”

The sudden voice ripped a scream out of Y/N’s throat as she reached the top, catching a glimpse of the shadowy figure at the edge of the balcony that spoke. She clasped her hand over her mouth and she crept forward to the opening, getting a better look at the person that was in her secret spot.

The clouds shifted in the sky to allow more moonlight to cast a soft glow on Malfoy’s face, hardened with irritation.

“Malfoy?” Y/N asked, rather dumbly.

“What stellar observational skills,” he drawled. 

She felt her cheeks grow hot. “What are you doing here? This is part of the Gryffindor tower. Shouldn’t you be...I don’t know...playing hide and seek with the sewer rats in the dungeons?”

“Very funny.” His flat tone exposed the fact that he did not, in fact, find it very funny. “There’s no rule barring me from coming up here.”

“But why? This is my spot!”

“Because I wanted to get out. Now, I was here first, so unless you want your detention extended, I suggest you leave.”

Y/N bit the fiery comebacks on the tip of her tongue as the memories of her plan with Hermione began floating back to her. 

Week 1 -- Hold one neutral, civil conversation with Malfoy.

“I’ll be quiet. You won’t even know I’m here,” Y/N decided upon. leaning up against the balcony. The rogue snowflakes that made it past the overhanging roof melted on her cheeks. 

“That isn’t a suggestion,” said Malfoy. “I’m demanding you leave.”

“Beautiful night, isn’t it?” Y/N asked, pointedly ignoring his words. “I’ve always loved the snow. It’s so quiet.”

“And it would be even quieter if you left.”

“Aren’t you the conversationalist?” said Y/N.

“If you don’t leave, I will hex you,” Malfoy told her through gritted teeth. 

“I just love how the moonlight reflects off of the snow,” continued Y/N. “It’s so...pure.”

“Please leave.”

On her walk back down the dank stairwell, she allowed herself a little smile. 

Task 1? Technically done.

~ 

The first week went largely as planned. Malfoy was cold and certainly suspicious of her, but he wasn’t completely venomous when Y/N asked where he got his quill from in Potions. It was silver, charmed to shimmer with flecks of forest green. He told her Barnaby’s in France, and that was that. She walked away from his table with all of her limbs attached. Perhaps that was all the progress she was going to make in the next few weeks, but the task at hand certainly made the prospect of her lost Friday afternoons more bearable. 

Harry was going completely batty, rambling on about how Malfoy was behind the mysterious cursed objects that had been floating about the castle without explanation. 

“And why would Malfoy bring cursed objects to Hogwarts if he has aspirations other than being expelled?” Hermione would ask over their books.

“You don’t understand, Hermione! You girls need to be careful walking around at night--especially you, Y/N. I don’t want you going missing after detention because of that slimeball.”

Y/N always gave him a laugh, berating him for his slight misogynistic commentary and turning back to whatever her task was, but the truth was that she was worried for him. The mental weight of the impending war and the fact that he couldn’t do anything about it was certainly getting too difficult for him to bear. It was heartbreaking to see the vivacious boy she’d grown up with crumble under the responsibilities of something he should never have to worry about in the first place.

Friday came much sooner than expected, and Y/N reluctantly left her friends in the common room to trek to McGonagall’s office. The walk was frigid and the wind bit at her cheeks as she rounded the last outdoor hall.

Why was this castle so dark?

A thump behind her made her jump, and Harry’s words came floating back to her. 

Remember all those cursed objects? What if there’s someone just...stalking the school grounds, waiting for someone like me to snatch?

She shivered, throwing herself at the office door and slamming it behind her.

“Miss Y/L/N,” Professor McGonagall greeted, her eyebrows raised in amusement. “Something giving you trouble?”

“No, Professor,” she answered, setting her bag down on the desk next to Malfoy. He sent her a curious look as well. “It’s just cold outside.”

She chuckled. “I need to go speak to Headmaster Dumbledore. I expect that, upon my return, you both are in one piece and alive.”

“I’m not sure if I’m the one who needs to be given that speech,” said Y/N, bored and testing the waters.

“She’s right, Professor,” added Malfoy. “There’s no projectiles here.”

McGonagall exhaled a long, shaky breath before brushing herself off. “Please. Behave yourselves.”

“You got it, boss,” she said as she watched her Professor walk out the door. “So, Malfoy. How was your week?”

“I don’t know what you’re up to, but I’d way prefer if you didn’t speak to me,” he said, refusing to make eye contact.

“I’m not up to anything! We’re in detention together and, I dunno, since I see you sometimes at balls, I thought it’d be nice to be on good terms.”

“Good terms?” He scoffed. “You’re a Gryffindor. I’d rather you be a bloody Hufflepuff.”

“How about neutral terms?”

Even though he wasn’t looking at her, she could catch a glimpse of him rolling his eyes. “If neutral terms mean you being quiet, then, yes. Please.”

“I’ll be plenty quiet. After I hear about your opinion on what happened in Potions today with Brown and Weasley. When Snape yelled at them for holding hands.”

He let out a sharp sigh. “Believe it or not, I actually have better things to do than keep up with whatever stuff your house does.”

“But…?” Y/N pressed. She may not’ve spent her time at Hogwarts as Malfoy’s best friend, but she had grown up with the boy, and she could tell when he was holding back.

He stared blankly at her.

“Come on. I’m literally the only person in my house who’ll openly admit that they’re disgusted by that dynamic. I’m begging you.”

She wasn’t sure if she was imagining it, but she thought she saw a flicker of amusement dance across his face for a moment. “Your house sounds more like a cult than a student group.”

“Oh, says the one from Slytherin,” said Y/N. 

“We only act like that because our families are close. What’s your excuse? Hormones and Quidditch culture?”

“Touché.” As much as she wanted to fight back, she bit her tongue. Whatever she was doing was making progress, and quicker progress than she was expecting. Her next task was to make him laugh, and she was emboldened by the fact that she could potentially be able to kill two birds with one stone. 

They sat in silence for a little bit, but this time, it was a comfortable silence. Malfoy wasn’t staring at the clock on the wall or rolling his eyes at her every move, so she had time to plot.

On one hand, she could make a fool of herself--drop her inkwell, say something stupid in class, fall down the stairs--but she had a sneaking suspicion that her sorry attempts at slapstick humor wouldn’t land well with Draco anymore. He’d become so serious lately, so solemn. This was the most light hearted she’d seen him, even compared with how he acted with the rest of his Slytherin lackeys. 

On the other, she could try to sell out her friends. She could confide in him how “big” Hermione’s teeth were (they weren’t even big) or tell him that Ron smelled of eggs (true, but that was a low blow). Something told her that this would be much more successful, but she wasn’t willing to turn to that so quickly--she was already a week ahead as it was. 

“What is it?” 

Malfoy’s bored drawl cut through her flurried thoughts. Her cheeks turned pink as she blinked, noticing that she’d been staring at him for far too long. “Nothing. Sorry. I just spaced out.”

“Sure,” he mumbled, giving her another suspicious look before turning back to his work. “Can you maybe space out somewhere other than my face?”

“Where’s your vanity, Malfoy?” she pressed as she leaned back in her chair, hair swinging over the back. 

“Shut up,” he snapped. She could tell that whatever connection they’d had in the fleeting moments beforehand was being burnt by the second, but her embarrassment and pride drove her forward.

“Merlin, what’s got you so wound up?” she prompted, noting how deliciously unraveled he looked at this. “Where’s my cool, collected Slytherin?”

He slammed hands on his desk at this, whipping around to glare at her. “What’s your angle, Y/L/N?”

“What?”

“Why are you bothering me?”

“Because I want to.” She beamed.

Malfoy ran his fingers through his hair, mussing up the usual neat manner in which it normally laid on his head. “Compelling. What do you want from me?”

“What do I want…?” She tilted her head at him, narrowing her eyes. “What?”

“You never talk to me,” he explained. “Obviously, I prefer it like that. I can’t help but wonder why suddenly you want to be making small talk. So, what is it you want from me?”

“Malfoy,” she said. “I think you’re a spoiled prick who thinks far too highly of himself and drives me insane. But I also think that you’re funnier than what my friends give you credit for. Granted, you’ve always been annoying, but I don’t want anything from you. I just want to, I dunno, make these next few months less insufferable.” Somehow the lie slipped through her teeth easier than any of her previous bluffs. 

He frowned, his mouth opening once before firmly screwing shut into a scowl. “Oh.”

“No offense, Malfoy, but what else can you offer me other than your dazzling personality?” she teased. “You know my family. I don’t need to blackmail you to pay for jewelry I’ve had my eye on or anything.”

He scoffed. “As if I’d say yes.”

“Exactly my point. It’d be fucking weird. Merlin, I’m not trying to butter you up to buy out Borgin & Burkes for me. Do I give off gold-digger vibes? Is that what this is about?”

“Fucking hell.” Malfoy turned to her in disbelief. “Do you ever shut up?”

“Answer my question. Or better yet, pull out your wallet. Wait, did I say that out loud?” She mimed surprise and covered her mouth. “Oh no! What will my mother say now that I’ve squandered my last chance of hitching you? There’s no way I can go home for Christmas break now.”

He rolled his eyes so hard she found herself worried for a moment that they were going to just permanently get stuck in the back of his head. “Hate to break it to you, but you didn’t really have a shot to begin with.”

Ouch.

She huffed and dramatically flopped over the back of her chair, hoping he couldn’t see that she’d flinched. “So you don’t think I’m pretty??” 

“Y/L/N,” he snapped, his voice a low warning. “Can I please just work? What is with you today?”

Y/N sent him a sour look before giving her Charms work another look. Malfoy was awfully quiet, and when she snuck any glances at him later on, he was angled to face away from her. 

Why did she feel like such shit all of a sudden? She cataloged the past events, trying to pinpoint the exact moment that her stomach dropped. It all made sense when the words “You didn’t really have a shot to begin with” echoed around her head once again. She’d failed Harry. She’d failed Hermione. There was no way that she was going to be able to get him to reveal his secrets now--it’s not like he was confiding in even his closest friends as Harry made apparent when he explained how vague his statements were to his fellow Slytherins on the train. Her only chance would’ve been to somehow get him to fall for her, and that wasn’t going...great. And it had been a pipedream to begin with.

When McGonagall swished back into the classroom to dismiss them, Y/N shot out of there without even looking at Malfoy again. It felt like something was lodged in her throat and she was not going to cry in front of him. No, no. She had to make it to Hermione to tell her what was going on. 

“Y/L/N?” 

Malfoy’s voice made her pause in her flee as she nearly rounded the corner in front of her, but she refused to look back. It was far enough away that it was possible she didn’t hear him.

“Wait!”

She was up the stairs and speed walking as fast as her legs could carry her to the Gryffindor tower before he even saw which way she went.

~

“I don’t think you understand,” Y/N wailed by the fire as Hermione rubbed her shoulders and Harry sat awkwardly perched on the couch. “I can’t do this. The only way this was going to work was if he had a crush on me, and I don’t think he ever will. I fucked it up! The one time you guys need me, I fuck it up! I let you down!”

Hermione’s left hand stopped its rubbing to rest firmly on her shoulder. “Please don’t be upset. You didn’t let us down. Plus, you’re only, what...two weeks in? You don’t need him to like you to make it work. Just getting him to trust you will be enough, and you’re good at that.”

“I don’t think so,” continued Y/N. “Harry said that he wasn’t even that open on the train when he overheard him talking to all of his friends. And those are purebloods that he likes! That he’s trusted and known for years and years! I’m a friend of you guys, and he knows it. I think he’d figure it out quick.”

“We should take every chance we can get,” said Harry from his spot a few feet away, his eyes lazy and unfocused on the fire crackling in front of them. “You won’t let us down if you can’t get anything, Y/N, you know that! But if you got anything from him, it’d be incredible. It’s a win-win. I don’t understand why you’re so upset.”

“I’m not upset,” she said, her tone becoming defensive. “I just...don’t want to mess this up. I know how much it’d mean if I succeeded.”

“So just try!” Hermione said. “There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m sorry he was kind of mean to you today, but I don’t think that should bother you too much. He should be more afraid of what you’d say if you didn’t care about being a good person.”

“Fucking right on there,” she said, wiping away the frustrated tears. “If I was honest with him, he’d leave crying. He should be grateful that I’m taking this bet so I actually have to be nice to him.”

“That’s the spirit.” Harry leaned over to smack her back like he did his Quidditch teammates after a winning match. 

After they’d parted their ways with Harry, Hermione and Y/N made their way slowly up the stairwell to the girls’ dorms. 

“Y/N?” Hermione asked, breaking the silence. 

“Yeah?”

“Do you think, er…” She paused. “Do you think you were really upset about failing us today? Or was it something else?”

“What do you mean?” Y/N furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t see what else it would be.”

“I’m sorry,” responded the bright witch. “Forget I ever asked. It was a stupid thing to wonder about.”

“Weirdo,” she teased as she waved her a goodnight and made her way to her dorm.

The next morning, Y/N busied herself with revising her Charms essay over her breakfast--a cup of tea and a half-buttered piece of toast--while Hermione leaned over her shoulder, nodding or grimacing at the corrections she made. 

“Did you work during detention? Like, at all?”

“‘Mione,” moaned Y/N. “It’s too early for this. I don’t want a lecture. I just couldn’t focus.”

Her warm brown eyes narrowed as they bore into Y/N’s face. “Why were you distracted?”

“Oh, I, uh…” She stumbled over her words as Hermione drew closer. “Merlin, Hermione. I told you last night. I just felt like I was letting you all down.”

“Mhm,” was all she got in response before her best friend tilted her head back down to the parchment in front of her. 

Y/N sat, completely puzzled. What was Hermione on about? She’d been straightforward with what was hurting her--she didn’t want to mess up the only task the Golden Trio had ever given her--and, even if she hadn’t been, Hermione was smart enough to deduce things for herself. So what was she thinking about?

Her eyes drifted over to the Slytherin table where the usual 6th year pureblood gang loitered about, drinking black coffee and sulking--but Malfoy was not to be seen. She jumped when her eyes met Parkinson, her dark eyes burning into her soul as a deep scowl was written across her face.

“Malfoy, what the fuck do you want?” Ron’s voice pulled her back to reality to see him glaring somewhere behind her.

“I wasn’t here to talk to you,” a familiar voice drawled. 

She turned to see Malfoy standing behind her, a sneer written all across his stupidly pretty face.

“Miss me already?” asked Y/N as she raised an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side. 

“For fuck’s sake, stop doing that,” he mumbled, reaching into his pocket and throwing a box at her. “You forgot your quill. I took the liberty of properly storing it, because it seems like you lot like to just throw them in your bag. Makes me physically ill to watch.”

“Oh.” Y/N studied the intricate box in her hands before tucking it away in her knapsack. “Thanks? I guess?”

He nodded curtly, contorting his face into one last scowl to send to Ron before turning and leaving,

“So,” Hermione began, cutting her omelet at a much brisker pace, “I think we need to have a little chat. About...all of this.” 

“Why?” 

“Not right now,” she said, her voice low and her eyes flicking at Ron and Harry sitting across from them. “I don’t think it’d benefit us for them to hear.” 

“Ok?” She cautiously took a bite out of her toast and continued staring Hermione down. “You’re scaring me.”

“It’s...I don’t know. I thought I was crazy for thinking this, but it seems like we need to talk about it anyways. For this little mission of yours to work, we need to be totally open and honest with each other.”

“Sure.” Y/N took another bite. “I honestly have no clue what’s got you so on edge, though.”

“Who’s on edge?” Harry asked, leaning over the table and stealing the croissant on Y/N’s plate. 

“Hey!” she exclaimed. “Do you not see the entire plate of them over there?”

He laughed, sending her an easy grin and dunking a piece into the hot chocolate in his mug. “Finders keepers. Say, Y/N, are you busy next weekend? Ron and Lavender are going to Madame Puddingfoot’s together, and I know Hermione isn’t going to want to take a weekend off studying to go to Hogsmeade, so I thought that maybe we could go cause some trouble at the Cauldron.”

“If you stop stealing my food we can talk about it,” replied Y/N, the corners of her lips tugging up into a grin. 

“Deal.”

Hermione tugged at her arm. “I just realized I need to get something out of my room before we watch the Quidditch game. Will you come with me, Y/N?”

“Sure!” said Y/N. “Gee, I’m rolling in invitations today.”

Once they exited the dining hall, though, it immediately became evident that they were not actually heading up to the dorms. Hermione dragged her into the nearest bathroom before casting a quick silencing charm.

“Myrtle! Are you in here?” Only when she was sure silence was the only response to her question, she seemed satisfied to turn to Y/N and begin talking. “When were you going to tell me that you have a thing for Malfoy?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Y/N felt the heat that had risen to her cheeks from the last quill-encounter re-emerge.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” said Hermione. “Are you seriously going to expect me to believe that you nearly sobbed over some random pureblood git telling you you never had a chance with him because it might slow down your progress with helping us? Actually? I’ve seen you look more ecstatic about hearing that your dear granny passed away.”

“To be fair, she had really good life insurance,” Y/N cut in. “And she was an old hag. Never had a nice thing to say to me.”

“Life insurance or no life insurance...you can’t seriously expect me to believe that you were just upset about not being able to help us as much. That was ridiculous. I don’t buy it. And the way you blushed like crazy when he came over to talk to you--the way you try and pretend like you can flirt...please. Y/N, it’s clear as day. I know you, and I know you have a crush on him.”

“Hermione!” hissed Y/N. “You have no clue what you’re talking about!”

“Yes, I think I do,” she pushed. “And you need to be honest with me if you want to be of any help right now.”

Her bossiness lit a fire of rage in Y/N’s chest, but she sucked in a deep breath, shutting her eyes before releasing it. “Believe me when I say I haven’t ever acknowledged any feelings I may or may not have towards him.”

“Ok.” Her face softened. “I know it might take time, but I honestly do think I’m right. Please just...be careful. This is a really odd situation to get caught up in if you actually have feelings for the other person. You’re trying to manipulate him, for Merlin’s sake.”

“And if I have these feelings for him, I’ve done a pretty damn good job of suppressing them for however long they’ve been here.” 

Hermione sighed. “That’s true. I’m just saying that spending this much time with him is probably only going to make things worse. Will you please tell me if anything changes between the two of you?”

“Anything changes?” Y/N’s voice was dripping in disbelief. “You’re joking. Even if I was obsessed with him I don’t think there’s ever a chance of hell in anything ‘changing’ between us. He said it himself.”

“You know what I mean, Y/N,” responded Hermione. “Just promise me, ok?”

“Ok,” said Y/N. “I promise.”

That seemed to satiate Hermione as she nodded approvingly at her friend. “I think it goes without saying that Ron and Harry shouldn’t hear about this.”

“There’s nothing to hear about, but yes.” She shuffled her feet before meeting Hermione’s eyes again. “Er, I’m sorry for this being a weird question, but would you mind coming along with me and Harry to Hogsmeade? I don’t really see him like...that...and I don’t want to read into it too much and reject him if he is doing it just platonically, but just in case. Y’know.”

“Sure,” said Hermione, even though her face took on that curious expression yet again. “Anyways, you actually did forget something--you’re not wearing a single piece of Gryffindor colors for our game today. You should probably run back to your dorm before Harry and Ron notice.”

After they said their goodbyes, Y/N found herself turning over the things Hermione had said to her in her head. Did she like Malfoy? No, no fucking way. But a part of her really did think he was funny. And of course it was natural to feel rejected when anyone insinuates that they’d never consider you as a romantic interest without jest. 

Once she’d made it up to her room and grabbed a few scarves, Y/N made to put her red cloak into her satchel. Her fingers ghosted over the box that Malfoy had given her and scoffed once she saw the Malfoy crest engraved into the rich wood. 

Narcissistic snot.

Her curiosity got the better of her as she reached over to open up the elaborately decorated box. What met her was not just one quill but two--one of which was most certainly not her own. 

She took them both out, tossing the old one in a pile with her other trusty familiar white feather quills and picked up the other one. It looked familiar--identical to the quill that she’d complimented Malfoy on in Potions about a week ago. Butterflies began to flutter like crazy in her stomach as she turned it over in her hand, watching the gray and green glitter together and the magic sparkles cast a gentle light over her bed. She generally avoided dipping into her family’s pockets to get school supplies any more than she had to--it’s not like it made her friends feel good about themselves when they were reminded how rich her family was--but this might be what she could consider to be an exception. She hadn’t even liked his quill all that much when she first saw it in Potions--but it was one of those things that was so noticeable that it made sense to compliment him. 

She gave it one last look before tucking it back away into the elaborately decorated box. Perhaps she had spoken too soon when she’d told Hermione all hope was lost. 

~ 

When Monday morning Potions class with the Slytherins rolled around, Y/N wasted no time. Malfoy was alone--even his Slytherin lackeys seemed to know not to bother him. Just what she needed.

“Malfoy,” she greeted, setting her bag down on his table and looking him dead on. He raised to meet her eyes, his eyebrow raised.

“Can I help you?”

“I just wanted you to know that I also really like your immense fortune,” she said. “And your manor.”

“Well, a lot of people do,” he mumbled as he looked away to dig through something in his bag. If she didn’t know any better, she would’ve thought he was blushing.

“I’m just letting you know,” she continued. “In case you were wanting to give them away. It worked for the quill, so I thought, well, why not?”

He exhaled, a deep and annoyed sound escaping his lips as he rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. “I knew I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You really didn’t have to.”

“I was getting sick of it,” he told her. “I never can stick with one quill for too long, and I thought it’d be a shame to toss it. I thought it’d be better to be charitable--it’s not like your family could get an appointment at Barnaby’s if they tried.”

“Hey!” Y/N said indignantly. “You don’t know that!”

“I’ve heard your parents try to speak French,” he said. “If you’re anything like them, you'll be barred from ever entering the country.”

“Malfoy!” 

His lips turned up into a smile, a soft laugh escaping his lips. Y/N suppressed the urge to grin in return. Task 3? Done. “What?”

“I can’t even argue with you,” she said. “It’s tragic.”

She stared at the empty stool next to him, wondering if she should just take the leap and sit with him. Malfoy seemed unbothered by her presence as he opened up his Potions book and set it next to his cauldron. “Do you want a partner?” The words left her lips before she could stop them.

He cast her a curious look before glancing at the empty stool. “It depends. Are you going to be annoying?”

She gasped in faux-offense. “What makes you think I could ever be annoying?”

“On that note, I think you better get back to Potter.” He motioned with his head towards the side of the room where most of her Gryffindor friends were chatting. Harry was staring at her, his fists clenched by his side.

Y/N smirked and sent him a wink. 

“On that note,” she said, careful to imitate Malfoy’s drawl and sending him a smug grin, “Maybe I better sit here.”

“Hm.” He awarded her one more uninterested look before rolling up his sleeves and setting out the ingredients for the potion they were brewing--Amortentia. 

She tried not to make it too obvious that she was staring at his left arm, but there was nothing on it like Harry had told her. It was just pure, unblemished pale skin that shimmered under the light. Before he could catch her looking, she quickly sat down and started pulling out her own things. After a short pause, she decided to take out the silver quill. She’d left his box back in her room--she wouldn’t be caught dead with something that had the Malfoy crest on it--but she’d wrapped it in a pouch with her own family’s emblem on the front, shimmering in gold and red.

“Why don’t you just buy your own charmed quills?” asked Malfoy after they had chopped all of the gillweed. 

“You already know. We’re an abomination to the French. We aren’t allowed entry.”

“That’s not what I mean.” His tone was meant to read as exasperated, but his words still seemed good-natured.

“I...well.” She frowned. She’d never confessed this to anyone, but she supposed that Malfoy wasn’t going to find a way to use it against her. “I don’t like to flaunt my family wealth. I think it makes people, at least in Gryffindor, like me less. I learned that pretty early on.”

He hummed something in response before sliding all the gillweed into the cauldron, turning the clear liquid into a bubbling forest green. 

“Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?” she asked. 

He took his time finishing the note he was jotting down before he answered. “I’m not being nice. It’s just called being civil. You said it yourself, we see each other at balls sometimes.”

“We probably won’t anymore, though,” she mused. 

Malfoy’s eyebrows shot up, but his voice remained low and steady. “No. I suppose that we probably won’t. Is your family part of the Order?”

“Hm. Are you a Death Eater?” she asked brazenly. He had no business asking her something like that, and he knew it. Especially not with his family connections.

“What do you think?” he drawled, waving his bared left arm in front of her face.

“Bullshit. That doesn’t mean anything after we learned Glamour spells last year.”

“Guess you’ll just have to trust me, then,” he responded, focusing intently on the bubbling liquid in front of him instead of her face. 

“I guess so,” she replied. The weight of her Glamour comment began to sink in--she was right, after all. How had she not thought of it before? 

But he was right when he told her she just had to trust him. Could she? Y/N rested her chin in the palm of her propped hand as she watched him work. A piece of disobedient moonbeam blonde hair dangled over his forehead as he diced up the unicorn tail, his eyebrows furrowed in focus.

“Is this why you want to be my partner?” he finally asked after a few moments of silence. “So you can just stare at me while I do all the work?”

“There’s the vain Draco I know,” she said, grinning as she leaned over to punch his shoulder. 

He rolled his eyes again, scooting out of arm's reach before flipping back to Amortentia in his book. “You’re insufferable. And it’s Malfoy to you.”

“Fine, fine, Malfoy,” said Y/N. “What do you want me to do, then?”

He shoved his cutting board towards her, the half-diced unicorn tail staring up at her. “Finish dicing this and then stir it in. 9 times clockwise. I did almost all of the work, but it should be finished after that.”

Y/N sent him another glare before doing as he said. The glittering quill kept catching her attention from the corner of her eye, and she couldn’t help but notice that Malfoy was writing with just a plain white quill for the time being. HE really did just give it to me. 

After the final ingredients were diced, she began to stir, each rotation around the cauldron turning the potion to a different color. It began as the bubbling green, then a deep sea blue, then a royal purple, a crimson blood red, a glimmering gold--before settling into a pale silver.

“Wow. It’s beautiful,” she breathed. “It’s like...liquid starlight.”

“All thanks to me,” said Malfoy. “You didn’t even have to crush the Mandrake root.”

“You’re such a gentleman, Malfoy.” Her voice dripped in fake sincerity. “So, what do you smell?”

Y/N was expecting him to scowl at her and tell her that it wasn’t any of her business, but he actually leaned over the cauldron and shut his eyes. 

“I’ve never been good at explaining what things smell like.” 

“Fair.”

Once he leaned back, she took his place, shutting her eyes and breathing in a tendril of the beautiful potion. “Whoa.”

“What’s it for you?”

“I don’t...know,” she admitted. “It’s not something I can describe note by note. It kind of reminds me of something, though.”

“Something with Potter, I presume?” he said, casually twirling his generic white quill around his fingers.

“No,” she answered, surprised at how honest she was being. “It’s…I’m trying to think. Er, it’s very lavish. It reminds me of when I was younger and my parents would drag me to galas and balls and whatnot.” 

He stared at her in silence.

“What about you? Does it remind you of anything?”

“Yeah.” Malfoy reached forward to put a lid on the cauldron, effectively shutting out the steam from reaching either of them.

“Ooh, have you figured it out yet?” she teased, crossing her legs and turning to face him head on. “Let me guess. Is it someone like…”

She paused, a wicked smile stretching across her face. “Oh my god, is it Hermione? Or Luna? Or...help me out here!”

“No.” His voice was sour. 

“Ah, it’s Parkinson then, isn’t it? Tell her I’m sorry for throwing food at her if you ever have the chance. Make sure to add the part where I’m more sorry that I missed.” 

“Y/L/N!”

“It’s okay. I’d be a little let down, too.”

“Can you please just…” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Please just stop. I haven’t figured it out. Okay? Happy now?”

“I’ll leave you alone,” said Y/N. “Under one condition. You give me a hint. I’ve given you everything I know! This isn’t fair.”

“This doesn’t have to be fair,” he hissed.

Y/N kept the easy smile plastered on her face while she waited, her eyebrows raised in anticipation.

“You’re not going to let up until I tell you, are you?”

“You’d be right on that,” she said, sugary sweet.

“Fine. It’s something kind of floral.” 

“How descriptive,” she snorted as she slumped back in her stool, thinking hard. Where had she smelled it before? Y/N shut her eyes, leaning her head back and trying to immerse herself into the memory that had surfaced. It smelled like grandeur, like an open ballroom full of guests wearing expensive perfumes. She could feel spinning, spinning like she was with a dance partner. Who was it? She couldn’t quite remember--the last ball she’d been to had been years ago--but after she leaned forward and smelled the Amortentia once more time, she came to a conclusion.

“I had to have danced with him at a gala before,” she announced to Malfoy, who was looking quite unimpressed. “So I know it’s no one from Gryffindor.”

“Interesting,” was all he said before turning to his parchment and jotting something down.

Late that night, while Y/N was settling into bed, a strange idea struck her. Sure that the thought that was nagging her was completely fruitless, she had no trouble with reaching into her desk and pulling out the Malfoy box. She just had to check if she wanted to sleep well.

Here goes.

She closed her eyes, imagining the expensive scent of her Amortentia. Then she opened it, stuck her nose into the fabric, and breathed in.

Well, fuck. 

~

The internal debate going through Y/N the next day at the breakfast table was intense. On one hand, she really, really wanted to just tell Hermione that Malfoy had been in her Amortentia and she was completely fucked, but on the other…

She glanced at the witch next to her as she methodically sliced her toast into perfect, equivalent squares before dunking them in jam. Y/N liking Malfoy was not going to fit into her toast cubes. If she said anything, she would lose her excuse to talk to her about him. And her excuse to try and get close with him. 

Perhaps I can figure it out tomorrow. 

When tomorrow came, she still hadn’t made progress. Y/N was beginning to think that her so called “revelation” after they brewed Amortentia was truly just complete and utter bullshit. So what that his quill box smelled like it--all rich people kind of smelled the same at some points, and so did their houses. There was a reason why she couldn’t immediately pin the scent to anything--it wasn’t like she even knew what Malfoy smelled like.

But the truth remained that she was still attracted to someone who happened to be a rich Slytherin--so naturally, her mind began to wander. There’s no way it was Zabini--his mother owned a fragrance line, and she would’ve instantly recognized the cologne that she knew Mrs. Zabini made him wear--and there was absolutely no way that it was Crabbe or Goyle, so the only other Slytherin it left was...Nott? But that didn’t make sense either--she’d never spoken to him before in her life, even less than Malfoy. So perhaps it would be better if she didn’t think on it.

The next day of potion brewing came on a stormy Wednesday. Malfoy and Y/N worked silently together to brew a Draught of Dreamless Sleep. She was surprised to see how practiced his movements were--he didn’t even have to reference the book to recite the exact measurements and directions.

“Do you have bad dreams or something?” she asked, mostly as a joke. He didn’t seem to pick up on the light-heartedness and stiffened up.

“No?”

“Gee, you’re talkative today,” Y/N said, trying to ignore how her hand brushed his by accident when she added the scoop of anjelica. 

“Excuse me for not entertaining you,” he drawled. “I wasn’t expecting to have such a needy potions partner today.”

“I am not needy!” she gasped, smacking his arm. “I’ve sat in silence for a full hour!”

He rolled his eyes (he was always rolling his eyes) and gave the potion one more final stir before setting the lid on the cauldron. “Think you can do that again? It needs to simmer for that long.”

“Just because you’re so sweet to me,” crooned Y/N before pulling out a heavy book from her satchel. Her Charms exam was tomorrow, and, naturally, she had decided to save all of her revising work until the night before. The textbook stared back at her as she jotted a few notes onto a previously blank sheet of parchment. The quill in her hands was light and glided across the paper like the tears of Merlin, something that she had forgotten quills could do. All of her familiar basic quills were okay, but they were prone to skidding and breaking. This nib hadn’t worn down in the slightest, still at a smooth and defined peak.

Y/N couldn’t believe that, out of all people, the person to give her such a thoughtful gift was Draco Malfoy. She tried to sneak a glance at him then, moving her curtain of hair away from her face. It took all she had in her to not be startled at the fact that he was already looking back, a slightly concerned expression etched into his face.

“Is something wrong?” 

He snapped out of it the moment the words left her lips, his face hardening. “No.”

“Forget I ever asked,” she responded, turning away from him for good and focusing on her textbook. No, there was no way he could be what she smelled in her Amortentia. She liked to think that her subconscious wasn’t secretly a masochist.

~

Friday evening swung around again, much to Y/N’s dismay. She’d had a talk with Hermione later on in the week, confirming that no, she did not smell Malfoy in her Amortentia, and that yes, she was still abiding by the plan that Hermione had so carefully laid out for her. It did bother her a bit that she could be lying to her on both fronts--but at the end of the day, she was going to get the answers that Harry wanted, no matter what. 

She just had to get through the scary ass castle first. She’d forgotten how spooky Hogwarts was after her previous sprint to the door, and this time she was positively trembling by the time she turned another dark corner on her way to McGonagall’s office. Yet another cursed item had been found in the girl’s lavatory on the 3rd floor, right by some of the classes that she had taken earlier in the week. The fact that whoever was out there was capable of dark magic and actively wanted to hurt people terrified her, all that Gryffindor bravery be damned. 

So when she heard footsteps suddenly right beside her, it was no wonder that she jumped feet in the air.

“Fuck!” she sputtered, turning to see a very familiar blonde in Slytherin robes. He was frozen in place, curiously looking her up and down.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“Malfoy,” Y/N said, resisting the urge to melt into a puddle of relief at the sight. This wasn’t right--wasn’t he a suspected Death Eater? “You scared me.”

He scoffed, digging his hands into his pockets. “You’re supposed to be the brave ones, right?”

“Huh?”

Malfoy motioned to her Gryffindor jumper. 

“Oh.” Heat rushed to her cheeks as she realized what he meant. “I dunno. I just get jumpy around the castle at night.”

“No shit.” They’d begun to walk now, side by side. Y/N couldn’t remember ever walking with him before--she’d always been late. “Do you think I forgot the way you screamed when you saw me at the tower?”

“Shut up,” she grumbled, reaching over and giving him a healthy shove. 

They walked in silence together. Malfoy moved noticeably slower than he normally did so he wouldn’t leave Y/N’s shorter legs in tow. McGonagall seemed pleasantly surprised to see Malfoy hold the door open for her.

“I’m glad to see you two getting along,” she said, giving Y/N a hesitant nod before grabbing the stack of papers on her desk. “I’ll be back momentarily.”

After she exited the room with a swish of her deep maroon robes, Malfoy turned to her. “Are you scared of the dark or something?”

She turned, ready to send a biting retort his way, before she noticed how gray his pallor looked...and how big the circles under his eyes were. “You look like shit, Malfoy. Is everything okay?”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t change the subject.”

“Oh. Um…” Y/N pause before deciding that the little tidbit of information she was about to reveal wasn’t that important anyways. “I’m just on edge at night at Hogwarts is all. Especially with all that weird shit going on with all the cursed objects. So I kind of hate walking to and from detention.”

Malfoy let out something that sounded like a strained laugh.

“You didn’t answer my question. Is everything okay?”

“None of your business,” he snipped. “I just had a bad night.”

“Do you have trouble sleeping?” she asked, unable to keep herself from prying.

“Something like that.”

“Have you tried lavender?”

“I’m sorry?” He frowned.

“Lavender. Like the essential oil. It’s nothing magical,” she explained. “I just like to spray it in my bed sometimes before I sleep. Or I’ll use a few drops in a diffuser. I have trouble sleeping too, all the time, actually.” She shut her mouth before she had any chance to ramble further.

“It sounds a bit too floral for my taste.”

“Here.” Y/N dug around in her satchel, searching for the tiny spray bottle she kept with her at all times. “Borrow this and spritz your pillow with it before you sleep, and then tell me it’s too floral. I promise it helps.”

He glared at her. She extended her hand with the white bottle that was covered in purple decor, raising her eyebrows expectantly. “I won’t tell anyone that you have it if that’s what you’re worried about or whatever.”

“Fine,” he snapped, snatching it from her hand and dragging his fingers over her palm for just a second. “Don’t expect me to actually try it, though.”

“Just give it a sniff.” 

He huffed, but to her surprise, he actually uncapped the top and held the spray hole up to his nose, inhaling in once.

The effect was immediate. Malfoy’s face completely drained of color, becoming even grayer than he’d been when she first saw him under the light. The briefest expression of surprise fleeted over his face before he wiped it off, replacing it with something unreadable and tossing it back at her. “I’m not using this.”

“Why not?”

“Not quite my taste,” he spat.

Y/N was shocked by the sudden outburst, watching as he continued to glower at his desk. “I don’t understand. It really does help you sleep. I know it seems stupid, but I...really think you should try it. Just once, if anything.”

“Why does it matter so much to you?”

“Because I--” Y/N stopped herself before she let her mouth run without check. “I know what it’s like is all. I feel like shit if I don’t sleep. Plus, I have to spend time with you every Friday. I imagine that you’ll be slightly more tolerable if you sleep more.”

“Hm.” He sent her a particularly venomous glare. “Thanks for your concern. Consider me uninterested, though.”

“You break my heart,” she teased, pulling back her hand and placing the bottle on the corner of her desk. An idea struck her.

“And just what are you smiling about?” Draco said. His lips were turned into a sour frown. 

“Nothing, nothing,” she responded, her voice adopting a sing-song quality. All she had to do now was wait. 

He exhaled, a deep and exasperated sound. Then he turned back to whatever was in front of him.

McGonagall entered the room a few minutes later, nodding cordially at the comfortable silence the two students were in. What she didn’t know was that Y/N was waiting, just waiting for Malfoy to dig through his satchel and stop paying attention to his quill.

She got her opportunity a few minutes later, when McGonagall called him up to look over his latest Transfiguration homework.

“Mr. Malfoy, I’m happy to see that you’re taking more initiative in getting your assignments done...I have to say that you had me a bit concerned…”

While her professor kept Malfoy occupied, Y/N darted over and grabbed his quill. 

Ha.

Malfoy frowned down at his desk when he returned, giving Y/N a suspicious look.

“What is it, Malfoy?” she said, hoping her voice conveyed nothing that might hint that she took something of his.

“Nothing.”

“Hm.”

The rest of detention passed without any more discussion. Y/N was eager to run up to her dorm and set up her plan to be carried out the next morning, but she calmed her bouncing leg and forced herself to keep a straight face when McGonagall dismissed them.

“Got somewhere to be, Y/L/N?” Malfoy’s voice called after her as she sped down the hall towards the Gryffindor tower. 

“What’s it to you?” she fired back.

He didn’t respond. Instead, he picked up his pace until he was walking next to her.

“Aren’t the Slytherin dorms the other direction?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Are they?” 

She allowed herself to be amused by the way words flowed out of his mouth when he was slightly out of breath. “Why are you walking with me?”

“You said it yourself.” He kept his eyes cast on the cobblestones below them. “You don’t like walking alone at night.”

“Uh...oh.” Against her will, her feet froze and she was glued to the ground. “You’re joking, right?”

If the lighting wasn’t so dim, Y/N would have good reason to believe he was blushing with how intently he was studying his fingernails. “By all means, I can be.”

“No! No, I didn’t mean it like that,” she said, the words tumbling out of her mouth. “Er...I’d like you to. If you want to, that is.”

He shrugged, an elfish expression spreading across his face as he took in how nervous she was. “Well, come to think of it, you didn’t ask me to. I suppose I better get back to the Slytherin dorms anyways. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near the Gryffindor Tower right now.”

“Why?” she squeaked.

“Oh, you know, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that most of the cursed things showed up on your side of the castle, yeah?”

She gulped.

“I gotta get going. Don’t want to stand around here too long. This place gives me the creeps.” With that, he turned and began walking away.

“Malfoy?” She hated how timid her voice sounded. “Consider this me asking you to walk with me.”

He slowly faced her, a sly grin plastered all over his face. “Oh? Did I hear that correctly? Do you want me to?”

“I’m only going to say this once,” she said, putting her hands on her hips and trying her best to look intimidating. “Walk with me. Please.”

“I guess I’ll take it.” Malfoy glided down the hallway to her in just a couple steps, sending her yet another smug look.

“You made up that whole ordeal about Gryffindor Tower being targeted, didn’t you?” asked Y/N as they rounded the corner to reach the staircase leading up to the common room.

“You bought it, didn’t you?” 

“Who says I didn’t just want you to walk with me?” pushed Y/N. This was as close to flirting as it would ever get for her--but it looked like, somehow, things were falling into place. The heat in her cheeks must’ve been from the excitement of making progress. 

Malfoy’s toe caught on the first stair and, if it weren’t for Y/N’s steady grip on his arm, would’ve made him go sprawling across the stone steps. 

“Merlin, Malfoy,” she said, immediately dropping her grip from his shoulder. “What’s gotten into you?”

He responded with an unceremonial snort and a withering glare. The rest of the walk was done in silence, and Y/N noted how careful his footwork became around the Gryffindor steps.

“This is me,” she finally said once they reached the tapestry for the Gryffindor dorms. He seemed surprised, and only then did it strike her that he’d probably never seen the entrance himself before. “Thanks for being such a gentleman.”

“I live to serve,” he drawled.

And just like that, he was gone.

~

Her plan was simple. She had located an extra monogrammed pouch in her cabinet, a rich mahogany color with her family crest in a vivid gold, and placed both his quill and the lavender bottle. She would corner him after breakfast or follow him out of the Great Hall and show him then.

However, it was becoming increasingly obvious that Malfoy was not coming to Saturday morning breakfast. Many people didn’t, but Y/N had never known him to miss it. His normal spot was vacant, and it certainly wasn’t a house-made decision as all of his Slytherin friends were present and accounted for. Y/N couldn’t say for sure, but she could see Parkinson turning her head to the entrance every time the doors thudded open before glancing back to Malfoy’s empty seat when it turned out to be someone else.

Where was that loser?

“Excuse me,” she said to the trio as she stood up and brushed off her skirt. “I think I’m going to go get some fresh air. I have a bitch of a headache.”

Hermione and Harry expressed their sympathies while Ron gave her a characteristic mumble through his mouthful of bread, and she was off with the pouch secured in her cloak pocket.

It was a clear November morning, clearly Mother Nature’s attempt to slowly move the world from the crisp autumn to a cold winter. The sky was clear and the sun’s rays warmed her skin at a slanted angle, casting weak shadows across the courtyard.

If I were Malfoy, where would I go to sulk?

The obvious answer was either the Slytherin common room or his own dorm, but that was without a doubt out of question for her. She wasn’t even sure if she possessed the knowledge to guess which corridor the entrance was in, much less work out the password herself. Beyond that, just getting into the common room and waiting would be...She shivered. It would be a terrible idea while she was clearly wearing a cloak in Gryffindor red and gold trim. 

As she continued her aimless wander around the castle, she heard the slightest sound from the girl’s bathroom on the second floor. It wasn’t ever really in use--no one came in there to actually use the loo unless they wanted Myrtle to materialize and tell them her supernatural troubles while they were in the middle of their personal business--but it was often the source of strange happenings. 

Like the cursed objects she thought to herself, her nails digging into her palms. But did she care about that right now? Surely cursed objects seemed somewhat...suspicious. Dark magic was difficult to hide, and to a pureblood eye that grew up around magical objects, cursed things shouldn’t be impossible to spot. 

And, plus, it was Malfoy she was looking for. None of the students had died from the curses so far, and if she was able to break through and learn something, or at the very least gain his trust, the reward to the Order would be more than worth it.

She stepped in, expecting to see an entirely empty bathroom with perhaps a ghost rattling around at the sink. Instead, a different sight awaited her.

Draco Malfoy was clutching the edge of the cracked sink basin in front of him, rocking himself back and forth and shaking. From her vantage point, she could see that he was dressed in his normal garb--a black ensemble--but his hair was unruly and messy, sticking up in the back like he’d hurriedly tugged something over his head.

A strangled gasp grounded her and halted her curious observations. Malfoy began to make these awful sobbing sounds, like he could barely manage to breathe. 

Y/N was frozen in place as she surveyed her options. If she stayed and tried to talk to him, he might react in anger or hurt her. But if she just left him, like this, all alone...She swallowed once before stepping forward.

“Malfoy? Are you okay?” Obviously he’s not, you bint said a voice deep in her brain. She pushed it aside as he swung around, his wand raised and his eyes blazing. “Whoa! I’m not going to...Put your wand down!”

He stared at her, his eyes wide with horror as he continued to shake, so much so that his wand slipped out of his hand and clattered to the floor. Without thinking, Y/N reached into her pocket and flung her wand away, holding her hands up.

“I’m not going to try anything. I promise.”

As she drew closer, she could see the remnants of tears on his wet cheeks and the way that his silver eyes were rimmed with a bloodshot red. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” he hissed, his voice weak and cracking. 

“Neither should you. This is the girl’s bathroom.”

final a/n: ok so lmk if you guys wants me to continue. i really did not edit the last half fjkdsal;f also kinda made this an au where malfoy tried to assassinate dumbledore. with more than one cursed object but dw it’ll all make sense ill clear that up 😭

[theeeveetamer]

Scarlet Blaze Liveblog, Chapter 5

It got rid of my extra spaces when I hit post :( Why do we live? Just to suffer?

SPEAKING OF SUFFERING! Holy shit the new Tumblr beta editor REALLY fucking hates formatting. Wouldn’t let me make any of these sections into bullet points. I have been fighting with this thing for weeks now (it also really hates letting me remove large sections of text as well). Had to turn it off to get any semblance of formatting so I hope it looks alright when I hit post

Explore dialogue

Now we have an NPC saying that there SHOULDN’T be fog this time of year. Make up your mind, game.

Linhardt: Aw my lazy days are over :(

Shez: You know some of us never had lazy days

Linhardt: Yeah but weren’t you just doing that because you wanted to?

Uh, no it’s called Shez is a commoner and had to literally become a mercenary to SURVIVE. They mention that numerous times. In another support they talk about how they were happy to eat rats if it meant their belly got filled. jfc, Lin, the privilege just oozing from you…

There’s a random mage lady who asks you if anyone on the opposing side uses dark magic. Agarthan lady, perhaps?

Ferdie stands like someone wearing one of those babydoll skirts from Style Savvy and I love him

Interesting that they explicitly state that Hrym was wiped out for resisting Ionus’s power centralization here. IIRC that was a lot less explicit in 3H

We also have explicit trade with Dagda, Albinea, Brigid and others. So I guess that’s another point against “Rhea doesn’t let Fodlan have contact with outside nations”

Why does Randolph look like he has a tiny blanket on his shoulder lmao

Wait why was Constance hostile to living in the Empire again?

Oof. Between Dimitri and Edelgard, Dimitri definitely got the superior Hapi nickname

Random Tidbits

Lmao. Hubert being like “I don’t even have to try not to kill you” during training and Ferdie being like “uh. Thanks. I think.”

I really wish the game would tell me when a character maxes out support points even if the letter is locked. It’s really annoying building support and then just realizing it’s not going up anymore after you’ve wasted so many training points and whatnot

I’ve decided that I’ve stopped caring if units like the food I’m cooking. Y’all will eat it and y’all will like it. I’m done coddling your asses.

I don’t care if you’re bad at the tasks either. Caspar, Linhardt, I’m sure you’ll do fine at running this street stall.

HUBERT WANTS TO GO ON AN EXPEDITION!!! OH BOY!!!

Hol up lemme drop everything

I hope he takes me somewhere nice to kill me

Good thing I unlocked all these new excursion spots. Gonna drive me crazy tho since I’m pretty sure there’s different dialogue in each one

“The shorter a leash, the better”. Kinky

Let’s go on a nice waterfront murder date

“Once, two souls took a boat out on the water… Only one returned. A fine story, yes?” oh my god he’s actually going to kill me

I have a feeling he wanted me to propose a competition… No wonder Ferdie is his type

“Ask thoughts on their employer” that’s a new one, I don’t remember that question ever popping up before

Unfortunately I don’t get to stare at his face. I was really looking forward to more murder dialogue.

Support Conversations

Shez/Caspar C - Caspar has daddy issues lmao of course he does they all do.

Sorry, having daddy issues won’t save your appeal from that hairstyle

I was about to comment on Caspar being like “I’ve got to build my way up from the bottom” but then he actually addressed what I was going to say by acknowledging that he at least has his name to lean on. So good for you Caspar, I see you retain some semblance of self awareness in this game so far.

Shez/Linhardt C - Shez: Just so we’re clear, whatever Hubert said you were gonna do to me, I’m not into it.

Shez is not kinky confirmed :(

How is Linhardt NOT interested in Shez’s power. She literally fucking shapeshifts and he’s just like “eh, whatever it’s just a sword.”

Like. What. C’mon dude.

Shez/Monica C - Ok Monica I hate you

MANUELA/JERITZA B LET’S GO - GIRL STOP BEING SO THIRSTY

Oh my god do not make Jeritza smile

Manuela: Don’t you want to talk to people?

Jeritza: No.

Stop making Jeritza relatable to me

Lmao Manuela realizing she’s still single because everyone views her as a teacher

Come to me Manuela! I have a teacher kink! We can do both!

Caspar/Dorothea C - Caspar: I’m reading

Dorothea: You can read???

This support is weird. Caspar is like “I wanna study” and Dorothea is like “You need to study!!!! Here let me lecture you on how you need to study!!!!!!!!!!” Caspar: “WOW I NEED TO STUDY!!!!”

Like he was already doing it Dorothea, geez.

Shez/Manuela C - Lmao we stan a messy queen

Y’know Manuela we can smash. I’ll never leave you

Shez/Hubert B - Uh wow weirdly abrupt start. Am I supposed to take this as happening directly after the last one??? They’re standing in the same place and Shez starts like Hubert just said something

Like. Really weird way to do this

“Sever ties” so that’s what the kids are calling it these days

Shez: You have emotions

Hubert: *confused Hubert noises*

Lmao he just had to insult my intelligence there at the end. Never change, Hubert

I know this is a lot of supports but since I’m playing on NG+ I have like 8 activity and 8 training points so it’s stupid easy to get supports. I didn’t even talk about all of them. I imagine future posts will have less as I start hitting time gated supports

Side Battle/Story Content

I’ve been putting this off by playing free mode battles with the renown unlockable characters lol.

Omg Maximum ambulation. Ferdie runs so fast. He’s got the zoomies!!!

Oh no Hubert wants to kill talk to me

Hubert: It’s cute how u thought I would let you live, tho

HI DADDY RODRIGUE

Man first Seteth now Rodrigue? This route really hates DILFs I guess

I mean I’m not surprised. Look at Count Bergliez

RIP Gustave is here too. Guess they’re making him fight in this route

Main Battle/Story Content

Everyone: *whispering*

Ferdie: WHY ARE WE WHISPERING!!!!!!!???? :D

Ferdie you lovable himbo

Ok do we really need three rounds of “why is everyone so quiet” so everyone can get their dialogue about being quiet in?

I wonder if this conversation changes with permadeath. It’s kind of written like it

Maybe I should do an “everyone dies” run in the future just to see how the story changes lol

INGRID!!!!!! MY DARLING!!!!!

Lmao I don’t even like Ingrid that much but I already miss my Lions :(

Oh I guess Jeralt is in the Kingdom now

I mean they’re trying to do the whole “oooooh mystery who could it beeeeeeeee” thing but I know Ling Tong when I hear him

Oh looks like Ashe is a traitor. Can’t say I’m surprised

Honestly fuck Lonato. If you have a problem with sexy dragon lady you have a problem with me

I haven’t talked about this but honestly the colors are fucking me. It’s a good thing Warriors games don’t have friendly fire because I keep running right past all the soldiers in blue to try and kill all the soldiers in red, because like. Fire Emblem do be like that normally

I keep finding big purple circles on the ground. What is that. What does it do. Who is doing that

I actually feel like a bad person for recruiting Ashe here. I mean Lonato is literally willing to kill the poor kid

Edelgard: Family should not fight family

Also Edelgard: Unless it’s Dimitri fuck that guy lmao

Also Also Edelgard: Also Rhea, since she probably banged my great great great great grandaddy a thousand years ago (and maybe is my great great great great grandmommy). Fuck her too

“I could not bear to lose another son” Ok then maybe don’t try killing him, Lonato???? What the fuck?

If saving you weren’t a requirement you would be so dead right now, Lonato

Byleth was kind of a pushover on NG+ lmao

… I’m sorry does Monica have jiggle physics

Ok her boobs don’t have jiggle physics, but her bow does. Which makes it look like she has boob jiggle physics. Why.

JFC Bergliez is so ugly

JUDITH MY BELOVED

She was surprisingly absent from AG I’m glad I get to see more of her

I’m sorry, Bergliez got all the way to Deirdriu????? When???????? When did we do that?????

Damn we killing daddy Gloucester, aren’t we? This is dead Fire Emblem dad dialogue

Oh even this guy gets a first name. Not the moms tho. Fuck the moms I guess :/

I’m surprised Fleche got a name and wasn’t just “Randolph’s sister” for the entirety of 3H

Kinda awkward to hear Petra complimenting the dude that murdered her dad

“The head of House Ordelia is one of the Five Great Lords” am I misremembering? I thought Lysithea’s family gave up their seat at the roundtable to Marriane’s uncle because they knew their house was in decline thanks to Lysithea’s condition

I went looking through her supports to see if I was right and apparently Lysithea/Hilda support confirms homeopathy of all things exists in 3H. No wonder these people still die of the plague.

Ok I couldn’t find anything and I don’t care enough to keep looking, but I got my eye on you, continuity guy

“Consider why we chose not to dismantle House Aegir” goddamn Hubert is just going straight for Ferdie’s throat

Ferdie: Haha I’m in danger

Also RIP Ferdie basically blatantly admitting that he’s only still around because he’s willing to “toe the line” regardless of how he feels about anything. Why am I supposed to be rooting for the Empire again?

I don’t get why people are like “We went to school with these people for 30 seconds maybe they’ll listen to reason” like? Why would they, exactly?

Like it was stupid in 3H but at least they had a whole year in 3H. In this game they were all literally at the academy for like a month

Recruiting Ashe also feels weirdly OOC for him after he spent the entirety of AG’s prologue and parts of part 1 talking about how Lonato would want him to do what he thinks is right and how he believes Lonato has gone off the rails, and while it hurts him, he believes it’s right to stop Lonato. Here he’s just like “Ok fine I don’t want to kill him I guess I’ll join you. Fuck my dreams of being a knight.”

I guess they had to make someone from the BL recruitable and everyone else makes even less sense than Ashe. I mean can you imagine if they let you recruit Ingrid here? Lmao

Anyways wrapping up

Spoilers for recruitables in this route here here.

Can I just say, the spread of recruitable characters, from a gameplay perspective, is kind of weird?

On SB, of the characters you get automatically, half of them are mages (5 of your starting 11 are mages).

Not including the wolves or other characters, you get Ashe, Ignatz, Lorenz, Raphael, Lysithea, Marianne, Mercedes, and Leonie (under special circumstances) in addition to the SB characters. But like. That means on SB you get two axes (Caspar, Edelgard), two swordies (Shez, Petra), three mounted lances (Ferdie, Jeritza, Lorenz), one brawler (Raphael), four archers (Bernie, Ashe, Ignatz, Leonie), and eight magic units (Hubert, Dorothea, Linhardt, Monica, Manuela, Lysithea, Marianne, Mercedes). If you include the wolves you get ten. Ten magic users. What do I need ten of these guys for? What is this game’s obsession with mages (the Lions also had way too many, though it wasn’t this egregious and at least Annette can be a serviceable axe unit once she gets Crusher)?

Made even worse because there’s only two magic master classes, and only one magic master class per gender which means you’re going to be ending up with two dark bishops and eight gremories. You can’t equip tomes as a dark knight or holy knight either, you have to use the lance, which is not optimal for many of these mage units. No idea why they decided to take out Valkyrie and Dark Flier if they were going to create so many damn mages. Basically every other weapon type (aside from archers and brawlers) gets at least two different options for master classes, and there aren’t nearly as many archers and brawlers as there are mages.

I guess I’ll use Constance and Hapi more on GD, since at least they only come with Marianne and Lysithea to start

[crapmagak]

Engage Drip Marketing: Chloe

Look, boys, booba!

In all seriousness, it’s nice to see a new character after almost two weeks. Not only that, but we finally have a female character here that doesn’t look like she’s twelve, even if her outfit’s a little silly. And silly outfit aside, Chloe is rather pretty now that we’ve got a good look at her. Does make me wonder what her falcon knight outfit will look like, though.

Her intro tweet goes….

Chloe is a knight of the Kingdom of Firene. She is a gentle person, and seems to adore her liege, Celine. She likes fairy tales and beautiful scenery, and tries to find picturesque combinations of those things all the time.

And her cutscene tweet…

Chloe and Celine are talking about cruising around a tea field on a pegasus together.

Chloe: "Ah, Lady Celine. You're adorable today too."

Celine: "Thank you, Chloe."

Chloe: "We have some free time today. What are you going to do, Lady Celine?"

Celine: "Hmm...

How about we get on your pegasus and fly to a nearby tea field?"

Chloe: "I'll gladly take you."

When we first saw her, I assumed Chloe was gonna be this game's token tragic pining girl since her crit quote was “I’ve got my eye on you.” Instead, she seems to be more of a doting, older sister figure. Kind of reminds me of Sigrun… I may have a weakness for those types of characters.

Chloe also seems to be Celine's retainer as well. Considering Chloe likes fairy tales, I can see why she fawns over someone with such disney princess vibes. It’s easy to see them doing a “now we’re sisters!” thing if you pair her with Alfred. Also curious about how well she gets along with Louis, since they both like to observe in different ways.

Now for the crit tweet…

Chloe's starting class is Lance Pegasus. They are lance-wielding knights who soar through the skies on a pegasus. Strong against magic, but weak to bows.

More specifically, her class is Lance Pegasus/ Airborne. We don’t even see a horse icon next to the class, just a wing. Perhaps this means Pegasus Knights aren’t weak to beast slayers in this game. I’m also excited for potentially fielding sword and ax pegasus knights. Hopefully classes aren’t gender locked, and one will be a man. Fates showed that you can have male pegasus knights and still keep the femine aesthetic of the class. The class sprite, especially the pegasus itself, also looks great with its more dynamic pose.

This does make me curious, though. With pegasus knights being able to wield so many different weapons, will wyvern riders be a base class? Because we haven’t seen one yet in any of the clips. Having six base flying units may seem a little overkill, though I personally wouldn’t mind. Perhaps they’re a tier 2 class, a divergent promotion path for pegasus knights. Only time will tell.

As for the map itself, it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Like Alfred, Chloe is also level 7. I’m also even more sure the guy equipped with Sigurd’s ring is Louis, since if you look close you can see the bottom part of a heavy shield under the wing pauldrons.

All in all, it’s nice to get a bio on another character we were left to speculate on. I’m admittingly surprised a more waifu bait character like Chloe isn’t shown off in the story sooner, but considering two of the female characters on the box art, maybe they’re banking on the women attracted player base to be patient. 

I’m also curious about who we’re getting next. Obviously Sigurd at some point, but I am surprised they skipped over Etie and the ax fighter. Especially when those two seem to be recruited before Celine’s retainers. Though I would like to see their official models, I do wonder if the marketing team plans to skip over them so they get a chance to show off characters from the other countries in time for the game's release. I can’t imagine them not showing off at least the other three characters that are shown on the box art. Guess we’ll just have to see in one to two weeks.

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[lettrespromises]

#LettresPromises informs you : You have one notification.

──➤ Roronoa Zoro sent you a love letter to celebrate +400 followers, would you like to read it?

@newfriendjen sent a letter : ❝Hi Friend! Congrats again on your 400!! You definitely deserve many more! If you still have a spot open for you event (ignore if you filled them!), can I request: Smut Prompt #15 with Zoro 😏 please and thank you so much!❞ the author sent a letter : ❝dear jen, to say i got a bit carried while writing this is a bit of an understatement! but i hope you’ll like it as much as i liked writing it, all while cackling like a villain as i was writing this. thank you tons for the sweet words, you are such a sweetheart and i’m so lucky to know you! sending you lots of love! sealed with a kiss, nikki.❞

──➤ Prompt used : #15 “Look at what you’re doing to me.” ─➤ Genre : Smut. ➤ Warnings : MINORS DO NOT READ THIS, 18+ ONLY. Sexual intercourse, jealous sex, mild degradation, choking, biting, cunninlingus, penetration, spanking (once), sir kink.

The weather of the New World was often unforgiving, unpredictable, and at times, untamable. Sometimes, Mother Nature showed she was capable of crossing the limit of Nami’s extended knowledge regarding climate (and God knows her brain was severely infused with every secrets regarding the different kinds of weather, rendering her as a living, walking encyclopedia.) But alas, sometimes the rage of Mother Nature would be thrown upon any poor ship unready to face her wrath in the forms of undying tornados and waves that could reach the sky.

Hence why, every morning, Nami’s prediction on today’s weather was awaited by all, very much like a prophecy which was often set to come true— and if said prophecy announced any kind of weather gravitating around the lexical field of a natural catastrophe, one wouldn’t be surprised to perceive Usopp down on his knees in a praying position, diverse and unintelligible wishes to survive Mother Nature’s anger.

Much to the crew’s collective joy, the navigator had announced the most ideal weather— sunshine, a slight breeze and no cloud in sight, what appeared to be a regular weather in heaven. And, why of course, such a hot weather meant that both Nami and the local archeologist, Nico Robin, would bathe under the sun and relieve any kind of tension which had settled in after several fights (or just the exhaustion of having to deal with Luffy on a daily basis.)

And there you were, standing like a mannequin in the girls’ room in company of Nami and Robin, the latter throwing you an amused look at the way Nami was comparing which bikini would look better on you— the red one, an appeal for passion, or the black one, a statement of boldness? Her brows furrowed in unison at her poor attempt to make a decision, comparing how the colors married the shade of your skin.

« Robin, how are we feeling about the red bikini? It’s so cute, but I have a feeling something is missing… » The navigator wondered, her gaze falling on the taller woman next to her.

Robin couldn’t refrain from allowing a giggle from leaving her lips, surely it meant that she had her idea, an ill-intentioned one, that is. And, oh well, to say she had just a mere idea was an understatement : as she remained still, Robin summoned a couple of limbs to look for a green-colored bikini hidden in the drawers only to bring it to Nami’s attention. The two women shared a teasing glance, as if they communicated intentions filled with mischief through their eyes alone.

« I do believe something was missing, too. » Robin trailed off, bringing an index under her chin. « Something that might appeal to a certain swordsman. »

The evil cackle falling from Nami’s lips announced nothing good, and the sweet tone of her voice only deepened that sentiment. « You know how the saying goes : great minds think alike. »

« Hold on, what are you—… » You began, only to be cut off by the navigator, « Yeah, yeah, whatever you have to say, Y/N. We’re not fools, you know? You’re going to look like a real stunner with this bikini on, and I know that a certain someone won’t be able to resist. » She concluded her sentence with a wink sent your way, boy, sometimes you did understand why Zoro called her a witch at times.

« Join us when you’re ready, Y/N. I’m intrigued to see how this will go. » Concluded Robin, accompanying Nami towards the door to let you some privacy so you could change into the bikini, not that you have never changed in front of them and vice versa, but oh well.

You were now all alone, still haven’t moved an inch. Your thumb was brushing against the green fabric of the bikini over and over again until it had become some kind of obsession. But the more the motions continued, the more you realized that perhaps there was no other way to get out of this trap glamorously set by Robin and Nami. A sigh of despair left your lips, swearing to yourself that you’d have your payback sooner than later.

The door of the girls’ bedrooms slammed open, allowing your figure sculpted by the finest hands of the muses of beauty to be exposed to the kisses of the sun. The first sound to rip apart your thoughts was a squeal which left Nami’s mouth, the latter shaking Robin’s forearm with urgency to bring her attention onto you. « Robin, Robin! Look at her, isn’t she to die for? I’d bet all my money that Zoro is going to throw himself on her. I mean, just look at her! »

The same amused smile graced Robin’s facial traits, lowering her shades just a bit to have a good glance at how the oh so awaited green bikini embraced your body. « I must confess that it’s impossible to resist her. »

The words leaving her lips became clearer and clearer the more you approached them, a palette of rosy tones sitting proudly on top of your cheekbones at their compliments. « We saved you a seat, Miss I’m-too-sexy-for-my-own-good. Come with us! » Nami said, patting the empty spot next to her to which you wordlessly replied with a nod, sitting between her and Robin.

« You’re so evil, I kinda hate you for it. » A smile plastered upon your lips as the words died on your tongue.

« You love us and you know it. » Nami replied, letting her hand lingering on your forearm. « Ooh, would you look at that, Robin? The show is about to begin. » She concluded, taking a sip out of her cocktail with a gleam of mischief shining in her eyes.

And by show, the navigator undoubtedly meant the sudden appearance of the Sunny’s resident lover who had stormed out of the kitchen with a plate of different kinds of treats and cocktails for his ladies, spoiling them rotten on sunny days if it meant he could allow his eyes to linger a bit on your bodies in bikinis.

The first act of the show had begun in a flashy manner, as soon as Sanji closed the door leading to the kitchen behind him, the plate he was holding had fell onto the floor, a loud echo reasoning into the swordsman’s ears who was stuck in a deep state of slumber… Until now.

« I must have saved a country in my previous life to be worthy of such a privilege. » Sanji sobbed, falling onto his knees, « Y/N, you’re a goddess amongst us, we’re not worthy, I’m not worthy of your beauty. I will worship you everyday, I will cover you in love until my very last breath! » The cook continued, more and more praises falling from his lips in a continuous cascade as your cheeks were getting more and more red by the second. Alas, the more the blonde sang your praises, the more the swordsman was stirring awake— and if there was one thing Zoro hated with passion besides Sanji, it was waking up to loud noises.

Sanji had approached you, on one knee, the back of your hand pressed against his lips as the tears falling from his lips mixed with the blood leaking from his nose. « Thank you, my goddess, thank you for blessing my sore eyes. Words can’t describe how—… » And he went on and on again, his lips still traveling from the back of your hand to your forearm under Nami’s disgusted stare who yanked you away from him.

« My goddess—… »

« Oi! Do you ever shut up, stupid cook? » And despite the numerous occasions on which Zoro and Sanji have fought, Zoro’s words seemed intensely more acerbic, as sharp as the swords laying to his side, which even surprised Sanji.

« Were you talking to me, mosshead? » Sanji taunted.

« I don’t see anyone else here acting like a damn fool. » Zoro began, his sole eye conveying so much anger you could feel it. « Know your place. »

Nami elbowed Robin once more, the latter having long forgotten about the book sitting on her lap at this point. Sanji stepped towards the swordsman, dangerously reducing the space between the both of them until their foreheads were touching. There was no frown noticeable on Zoro’s face, but a blank expression which let through a pure anger. « She belongs to me, hands off what’s mine. » The swordsman spat, his shoulder hitting Sanji’s as he walked past him, leaving the cook in a stupor.

« Oi! You. » He said, pointing at your frame with his index. « Follow me. You and I are gonna’ have a word. »

He cursed himself for allowing his gaze to fall on your form, knowing damn well that with each second he spent looking at you in this green bikini (this damn color, he thought), the more he was falling under the spells casted by the muses of lust.

« Go get some! » Nami whispered, her tongue gracing her bottom lip.

« We expect all the details afterwards, my dear Y/N. » Robin giggled.

You had barely enough time to form any kind of response that you felt the foreign presence of Zoro’s digits snaking around your wrists and yanking you towards him. « Hey, I’m sure we can talk about this calmly, right? We can chat about it over a drink, I’ll ask Sanji to—… » Alas, your sentence never found its end, your mind going numb at the death glare Zoro sent your way as you mentioned Sanji’s name. But, paradoxically enough, it only fueled your arousal even more.

Zoro led you to the crow’s nest, trapping you and him both inside the same room. And as the silence grew heavier and heavier, until becoming asphyxiating, Zoro’s snicker broke the silence in the most mischievous way. A look of confusion was painted on your face, and you were quick to point at it. « W-What are you laughing at? »

« Do you think I’m fucking stupid? » Zoro half-asked.

You tilted your head to the side, slowly backing away until your back met the unforgiving surface of the wooden wall. « Answer me. » He demanded, one of his hand grabbing both of your wrists in one hold pinned above your head whilst his other hand cradled your jaw so you had no choice but devote your attention onto him.

« I don’t know what you’re talking about. » You pleaded, cheeks burning under the rosy tone as you felt his uneven breaths crashing against the column of your neck.

Wrong answer, Zoro shoved his knee between your already trembling legs. « You like the attention, hah? You love it when that pervert of a cook was throwing himself on you, is that it? Tch. » He was feeding his lust off of the scared expression on your face, blood rushing in the tightest space possible by the second.

« No answer, huh? ‘Guess I’m gonna have to teach you some manners, because it looks like you forgot who you belong to. » And with that, he dug his teeth into the skin of your neck, alternating between biting and sucking motions to form the most ravishing love bite— a symbol of belonging if you will. You squealed at the sudden sensation of his pearly whites inking his name into your skin, giving him exactly the reaction he was anticipating.

You rocked your hips against the thigh settled between your legs, a desperate attempt at getting some friction for your poor and aching core in need for attention. Zoro clicked his tongue once more at your antics, choosing to hush you by continuing the trail of hickeys adorning your martyr of a neck. « Care to explain what you’re doing? Throwing yourself on my thigh because you couldn’t get the shit cook, hah? You’re so fucking desperate, it makes me want to leave you there all alone. »

« Zoro! Please don’t, don’t leave me! I just need you, I don’t need anyone else but you! I promise I’ll be good but please, please, don’t leave me. » You pleaded, a clear veil of despair covering your eyes under his impassible expression.

The façade worn off soon, letting a smirk throne amongst his facial features instead. « Who do you belong to? » Zoro demanded, gliding the hand that was under your chin to your throat and applied just enough pressure to make sure to earn absolute submissiveness out of you.

« Y-You… » You choked out, the lack of oxygen marrying so well with your growing arousal.

His smirk only grew wider, a real testimony of the sick thoughts implanted in his brain that would make a demon blush. Both of his hand retreated to his side, gaze falling on the unmissable erection showing through his dark pants. His eyes alternated between you and the bulge in his pants, your mouth going dry at the wordless order. « If you want to be a whore, then be a good whore and suck me off, yeah? Don’t give me those eyes, you want it. »

You sunk to your knees, tongue wetting your lips in anticipation for what was bound to come. And whilst your eyes were stuck on his form, your fingers were busy tugging down at his pants to reveal his grey underwear stained with pre-cum. The sight of this alone was enough to send yet another wave of arousal down to your core. And as his cock sprung free from the constriction of his boxers, his girth slapping against his exposed abdomen and the tip rouge from anticipation, you were convinced you could’ve come undone from the sight of this alone.

« Suck. » He ordered, grabbing a fistful of your hair to force your towards his aching cock and the veil of pre-cum coating the tip.

And thus it began. You flattened your tongue, drawing a large lick from the base of his cock all the way to the tip where you finished with a few kitten licks, knowing damn well the head was where all the nerves devoted to pleasure were hidden. « Don’t tease and put your mouth to good use, whore. » Zoro said, almost betrayed by the groan threatening to be released.

Following the rules of performative language, you began to rock your head back and forth around his cock, making sure that your tongue was coating in a lustful love each inch of his girth whilst hums of pleasure were leaving your lips as you went. The hold of your hair in Zoro’s fist grew tighter and so did the metaphorical knots in his stomach as you went along, until the tip of his cock reached the back of your throat— such enticing sensation earned a growl out of him. Fuck.

« F-Fuck. Look at what you’re doing to me… Ah! Shit. Enough! » He ordered, yanking your head away from his cock, and the sight of the corners of your mouth dripping with the sweet marriage of his pre-cum and your drool could have provoked an orgasm out of him at this very moment.

« It’s too soon, and it’d be giving you what you want, huh? Too fucking bad, I’m going to cum in that sweet pussy of yours and you’re gonna love it. Ya’ hear me? » He asked without really asking, and taken by a rush of lust, you could only nod in return. « Y-Yes. » You stuttered. « You’re missing something. » Zoro added. You swallowed thickly before adding « Yes, yes, sir. » Your response caused an ill-intentioned snicker to fall from his lips. « That’s right. Now get on your back, and make sure to be as loud as you can, I want everyone on this damn ship to hear how I can make you scream. »

Zoro’s glorious height forced you to lay back until your spine touched the mattress where all the sins would soon break free. The smirk on his face never left, a pure testimony of what all the sinful deeds he was bound to accomplish. You were now trapped between his forearms, hips circled by his knees— bending under his dominance. « Did you wear that for me? » Zoro asked, slapping the string of the bikini top against your skin.

« I d-did, it’s all for you because I’m all yours. » Your response caused a chuckle to break from his lips, sweet words feeding his ego some more. And in a flash, his fingers had ripped said bikini top in half (you made a mental note that you now owed a serious debt to Nami), and there you were, (almost) in all you bare glory. « Fuck, if only you knew the things you do to me. »

Zoro wasted no time and threw all caution out of the window as his mouth latched onto your breasts, the motions of his tongue around your bud causing your spine to pay homage to the moon from how arched it was. His pink muscle flickered around your nipple before he swallowed your breast whole, his drool covering your flesh in a sinful veil. And because he was such a giver for his pretty girl, he gave the same treatment to the other breast whilst gasps left your lips over and over again at the methodical motions of his tongue, your anatomy held no secret for him.

« Are you going shy on me now? Did you forget what I said? » He trailed off, reducing the space between his lips and your ear, « I said I want you to be fucking loud. »

And with that, he left a trail of open-mouthed kisses down your stomach before tearing apart (once more) your poor martyr of a bikini bottom under your desperate attempts to keep it intact. Were you challenging him? Oh well… Zoro has always been the type to face any challenge thrown his way. « Zoro—… Sir, please! » You pleaded, not knowing really why.

« You’re such a desperate little thing, huh? » He leaned down to face your core, glistening in its lustful glory for him and him only. Zoro pressed a finger against your folds, dragging it vertically to obtain a finger pad covered in your slicks. « So fucking wet for me already? ‘Bet that shit cook can’t make you as wet as me. » He stated, confidence embedded in his every word. « Only you can make me feel this way, sir. » You replied before he crashed his lips onto yours in an uncharacteristically sweet manner to cut you off. « And why’s that? » The swordsman asked, already knowing the answer. « Because… Because I belong to you. » He pressed yet another kiss against your lips for having given the answer that had been lingering on his mind. « Good girl. »

Your reward came in the form of his tongue brushing your folds, flickering motions against your sensitive bud sending you in overdrive as continuous waves of pleasure washed over you ceaselessly, the knots in your stomach tightening each time his tongue touched you. Two of his digits poked your entrance, teasing you to let your torture last before they penetrated you. The sudden sensation caused you to let out a dragged whimper accompanied by his name coated in a sinful tone. « S-Sir please, please just fuck me— I can’t take the teasing, ahh, fuck, fuck! Please, please! » You begged, eyelids shutting close under the pleasure.

But your pleas fell in deaf ears as he kept pumping his fingers in and out of you, sucking onto your sensitive bud to build an orgasm within you that he was bound to deny. He knew you were close by the way you were holding his green hair, tugging him ever closer to your core to amplify the inferno burning within you. But alas, to your greatest displeasure, all the motions ceased in one go under the hint of mischief glowing in his eye.

« You’re gonna cum on my terms, and when I say so. Got it? » He seethed, knowing damn well that his own end was going to arrive soon. He gave his girth a few experimental pumps, allowing the pre-cum to cover his length before shoving the entirety of his cock in one go inside you, barely leaving enough time for your cunt to stretch correctly— and saying that a elongated moan left your lips was an euphemism, the sick grin plastered upon his face grew more and more as the sounds of pleasure drowned in his eardrums. « You’re so fucking tight, shit! » He breathed out, « Look at your pretty cunt swallowing me whole. »

The rhythm of his hips followed the scheme of a crescendo, each slam of his hips against your derrière drew a clearer portrait of both Zoro’s end and your own climax. The nature of the rhythm itself indicated that he was chasing after his own end, and with his head thrown back and his irises dilated under the hunger to satiate the raging fires breaking loose in his abdomen by the second. « S-Sir, it feels— Ah! It feels so good! »

The tip of his cock kissed ever so precisely the roof of your cervix where a panel of nerves designed to draw a lustful reaction out of you every time he thrusted into you. Your vision became more and more blurry until a liquid veil covered your eyes as pearls of tears gathered at the corners of your eyes. Under the pressure of each of Zoro’s thrusts, your body bent to his will and soon you had no longer control over your legs that used to be around his waist, only to be picked up by the swordsman who threw your legs over his shoulder, thus allowing him to reach a deeper part in you and the cries leaving your lips were just the proof of how good he made you feel.

More and more cries echoed against the wooden walls of the room, your sounds of pleasure marrying the groans falling from his lips in a cascade. « Ah, fuck, fuck! R-Right there, please! Shit…! » You pleaded to fuel him some more. His nails were digging into the luscious flesh of your thighs, drawing rouge crescents in his wake.

« Who do you belong to? » He groaned out, his eye admiring the lustful look on your face.

« Y-You! I belong to you, fuck, you a-and no one else! » You attempted to reply mid-moan.

But as much as Zoro knew your anatomy, you also happened to be an expert of his— and the way he planted his nails into your skin, the raw groans loosing their chains to be set free and the way his thighs were shaking… Everything announced the beginning of his own end.

« Cum with me… Now! » He ordered, letting his hand crash against your buttcheek in the process. And there it was, the marriage of two lovers under the spell of lust. The rhythm of his thrusts reached their apex, all whilst he painted your walls with the white color of passion. His own cum was mixing with your own elixir of pleasure leaking from your throbbing core as your cunt was clenching around his cock in despair. The sounds of his hips slamming against yours were long gone now, the room was solely filled with heavy breaths and his name falling from your lips over and over again like a forbidden prayer.

Although Zoro’s stamina knew no bounds, he felt like the oxygen had been knocked off of his lungs. But perhaps it was the price to pay if it meant he could observe you in all your post-orgasm glory after holding it inside you for so long. God, he was so proud of you, proud of every mark he had left onto your skin, proud of the way your skin gleamed under the sweat, proud of being your lover.

« ’S alright, ’s alright. I’m going to pull out, breathe. » Zoro demanded, the sweet tone reserved for you only finding its way back around his words. His digits snaked around his girth to pull out of you, only to witness the satisfying marriage of your cum and his own. You were so good to him.

And whilst you remained unable to move, Zoro fell to your side, his arms quick to lock you into an embrace as your head rested on his chest, his frenetics heartbeats echoing in your eardrums. You loved the peace of the aftermath of any sexual activity involving Zoro, you loved how peace seemed to bend his facial features in the most enticing way.

He was the first one to break the silence, pressing his lips against your forehead whilst he tugged you impossibly closer to him like a reminder that you were indeed here, and would always be. « So whose plan was this, hah? » He asked, earning a giggle out of you in response. « It was Nami’s, although Robin helped too. She said I would one hundred percent ‘get laid’ if I wore this. » You answered, head tilting towards the poor green bikini torn in pieces.

« That witch can go to hell. » Zoro groaned, but the raw tone of his voice was betrayed by the sweet caresses of his digits down your forearm.

« I mean, her plan did happen so I think it’s a win for her. It’s not like you regret what happened, mhm? » Alas, nothing but silence in return. « Zoro? » You called him, but an angel passed. « Zoro! » You repeated more sternly, and this time you were met with the sound of his snores— of course, typical Zoro fashion.

Well, you knew who you were going to thank now.

[sabraeal]

Consider: Obi is green-red color blind

A Color by Any Other Name

Written for @aeroplaneblues for a surprise birthday gift! Many months ago she mentioned wanted to see a colorblind Obi, and I said, WELL WHAT A GOOD EXCUSE TO WRITE THIS PROMPT JOANNA GAVE ME. I hope your birthday is a good one, filled with a lot more nice surprises!

“Are you ever going to introduce me to your guard friends?” Suzu asks around a mouthful of dumpling. “Or are you embarrassed?”

To say Obi is unprepared, would be an understatement; there’s a pork bun lodged between his teeth, his gloves not only coated in pig grease but also far less effective against steam than he’d thought they’d be back when he’d just grabbed a plump little blob off the stall. He’d laughed off Suzu’s concerns about protective equipment; after all, if smiths use leather gloves, they’ve got to be just as good as an oven mitt.

They aren’t. Not to mention the roof of his mouth starting to have a real good think about peeling off and having a vacation. Maybe even with someone who doesn’t eat entire dumplings straight from the basket.

“Wha?” he manages eloquently, nearly drooling spicy meat drippings onto the street.

“I know I’m not cool like they are,” Suzu continues, warming to his new thesis. If his sudden flush of confidence is any measure, he’s spent more of time composing his arguments for this than Obi’s ever seen him work on his actual defense. “And I’m no good with a sword. Or fists. Or really any implement that isn’t a scalpel, and any opponent that isn’t already anesthetized. But I am very smart.”

There’s a thoughtful pause before Suzu adds, “Some people do enjoy that, you know.”

What Obi knows is that this kid tried this conversation on for size in front of Yuzuri, and she didn’t even bother to warn him as a courtesy. See if he buys her any more meat-on-sticks when she’s ‘left her purse in the lab’ now.

“That’s not--” he takes a hurried minute to swallow-- “not what’s happening. I didn’t...”

Even know you knew I didn’t work for the pharmacy. His teeth clamp shut around that winner, and its friend, I didn’t think you lot would want to hang out with a bunch of men without degrees. Not only would that encourage Suzu to make a scene right here, right now, but if it got back to Jirou-- well, if he thought Suzu could turn any day into a disaster, the lieutenant would make that seem like a vacation.

“I didn’t think you wanted to,” he settles on instead. Similar enough in feel, if...creatively edited. “You scholar types tend to flock together.”

“Well, sure,” Suzu murmurs, stymied, “but we’re friends too, aren’t we? If all my friends are your friends, then all your friends should be my friends.”

Only an academic could talk about arithmetic with that amount of confidence, especially the kind that involved transitive properties and letters, and all sorts of things that made Obi’s head spin.

“Well,” he hums, one boot scratching his calf. “You would know.”

Suzu whirls on him, staring down his long fox-snout of a nose. “You mean it? You’ll really...?”

“Sure. If that’s what you want.” He twitches his shoulders, more casual than he feels. “It’s fine if it’s you.”

There’s always been a lazy lilt to Suzu’s eyes, but it disappears now, all the sleepiness gone to surprise. “Me? You wouldn’t want to bring anyone else?”

“Well, definitely not Kazaha.” The glares he’d get bringing that twiggy pedant into the guardhouse might be enough to drop him dead on the spot. “And Yuzuri would be too popular.”

Suzu grimaces. “The number of admirers she’d get from a wink alone...she’d be unlivable.”

He can see it now, her ponytail bobbing with a buoyant glee, giggling through every painstaking penned line from her fan club-- “Think of all the bad poetry.”

“Honestly, that might make it worth it. At least I’ll feel better about not knowing the difference between a quartet and a quatrain.” Suzu takes a thoughtful bite of him bun. “And you couldn’t bring Shirayuki, of course.”

“Right.” Not a one of them could be trusted to keep their lips sealed; she’d hardly have to take a breath and someone would call her Obi’s lady, or ask how they met, or whether she’s still Mistress behind closed doors--

But Suzu wouldn’t know any of that. “Wait, why?”

“Well...” He has the grace to look chagrined about it, whatever it is. “You know. Her hair...?”

“Oh.” Obi shrugs. “Sure, I guess.”

“You guess?” Suzu stares. “Shirayuki has a non-zero amount of stories about being kidnapped for looking like a candied apple, and you guess there might be a fuss about bringing her ‘round to the guardhouse?”

“Well, none of you acted weird about it,” he snips, hiding his annoyance behind a bite of dumpling. “There’s no reason they will.”

“Of course no one at Lilias acted weird, Obi!” he squawks, arms flailing as he talks. “You couldn’t pay them to look at anything but their own project. But when a bunch of normal men with eyes and, uh, other working appendages see a cute girl with red hair and a soft voice, they’re gonna go crazy!”

His palm hooks around his shoulder, thumb digging into the hard knot at his collarbone. “Aw, come on. It’s not that special.”

“Not that--?” Suzu whips around, eyes round as dumplings. “Obi, she’s the only person I’ve ever seen with red hair.”

“You don’t get out much,” Obi deadpans. “No offense.”

“That’s not--” Suzu grunts, throwing up his hands-- “She’s the only person anyone’s ever seen with red hair!”

“Her dad’s is kind of red.” That observation wins him an unimpressed look, one that says you’re missing the point. “And Yuzuri had blue hair when I met her. That’s way more interesting--”

“It was dyed!” Suzu wobbles over to a wall, sitting with his head in his hands. “Shirayuki has a hair color so rare that the birth records in Clarines haven’t noted it in more than fifty years! And you think Yuzuri dying her hair with woad is more impressive.”

“Well, even her natural color is brighter than Miss’s. Not--” he waves a hand between them, quelling-- “that Miss’s hair isn’t nice enough. But I’d think that people would pay more attention to that.”

“...Brighter?” Suzu murmurs after a long moment, stilted. “Obi, could you tell me what color that sign is, right over there?”

“The one for the tea shop?” He wrinkles his nose. “Why--?”

“Just...indulge me for a moment.”

“All right.” He squints up at the moon cresting over a wolf’s head. “Blue.”

“Right, and, um, that coat over there.”

“Yellow.”

“Right.” Suzu’s voice is tight, stressed. “And what I’m wearing?”

Obi squints. This one’s a little harder, but he’s confident when he says, “Green.”

“Ah, right.” Suzu stands, a unsteady on his feet. “That would explain that, then.”

Obi blinks. “Explain what?”

“Obi,” Suzu begins, with all the gravitas of both a grim prognosis and a terrible joke. “You can’t see colors.”

*

It’s not the first time Obi’s played hound to his prey’s fox, but there’s something distinctly unsettling about it being Suzu that leaves him lagging behind, unsure of himself. Especially with the way he scurries through the concourse, bounding toward the mess hall with this idea caught between his teeth like chicken feathers.

“I can see colors just fine,” Obi informs him with far less confidence than he’d like. “Some of them are just hard to tell apart. Weren’t you and Yuzuri arguing yesterday about whether salmon is orange or pink?”

Suzu waves a hand at him, dismissive. “That’s different. Salmon’s both orange and pink, and what color it looks most like has to do with the composition of your eye-- and it’s pink by the way, with orange undertones--”

Between the two of them, Obi knows who he’d trust to know their colors. “Uh-huh.”

“You can’t make out red and green, which is different entirely, and--” the doors to the mess burst open beneath his hands, a noise lost in the din of a hundred scholars trying to share the same table-- “YOU GUYS WON’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST FOUND.”

The whole of Shidan’s lab-- minus the man himself-- have taken up right by the door, bags and coats piled to save them their places on the bench. Suzu makes short work of the pile on his seat, haphazardly shoving them to the floor as he sits.

Kazaha peers at him and ventures mildly, “A new way to avoid finishing your thesis?”

“No,” Suzu hums between his grit teeth, “but I have found out--”

“I don’t think we need to do this,” Obi murmurs, handing Miss her muffler. “It’s not--”

“Obi,” he intones with far more gravitas than his name has ever strictly deserved, “can’t see colors.”

“Not at all?” Kazaha turns those sharp eyes to him, like he’s a specimen under glass. “Just black and white?”

“I can see just fine,” Obi huffs, tossing Yuzuri her coat before he slides onto the bench, knee knocking into Miss’s in a way that puts his heart through its paces. “Suzu is just making a mountain out of a molehill.”

“Is that so?” he hums with a grin. “Then what color is Shirayuki’s hair?”

He stifles a sigh. It’s best to put all this to bed now, before he’s stuck playing what’s this color for the next two years. “Red.”

“What’s the point of this?” Yuzuri yawns, already bored. Obi shoots her a grateful look, glad that at least one of them isn’t going to play Suzu’s game.

It’s too bad he’s already puffed up with unearned confidence, like an evolutionist at a botany lecture. “And what’s the color of Ryuu’s cloak?”

He knows it by heart-- how could he not, when the two most important people in this city wear matching ones-- but still Obi glances up, anticipating a trick. Ryuu stares back, confused and guileless. “Blue.”

“Great, good.” Suzu’s grin stretches from ear to ear. “Now what color is your scarf?”

Obi’s fingers knot in the fabric, the weft tickling the pads of his fingers. “Well, it’s...sort of reddish, isn’t it?”

This is the wrong answer.

“It makes so much sense,” Yuzuri murmurs in wonder. “You really don’t know how ugly Suzu’s outfits are. That’s why you still hang out with him.”

“Hey!” Suzu pouts. “That’s not very nice.”

“No, that has nothing to do with color, it’s the cut.” Anxiety spikes through him. “But wait, it is red isn’t it? My scarf?”

“No,” Miss murmurs at his side, cheeks flushes. “Obi, it’s...it’s green.”

He stares down at it, trying to imagine what that might look like. “Green.”

“It looks very nice on you!” Her small fingers wrapping in the fur at his elbow. “It’s your color, really.”

“Oh, sure,” he murmurs, faint. “I guess it matches my eyes.”

“Hey, what do you mean ‘it has nothing to do with the color?’“ Suzu’s hands fly to his hips, brows drawn tight over the long line of his nose. “My clothes are just fine.”

“They aren’t.” Obi leans in next to him, grin feeling thinner than it should. “But I hang out with you anyway, which means you know we’re really friends.”

Kazaha rubs at his chin, where his ode to Shidan’s goatee is failing to thrive. “You know what this also explains?”

Obi blinks. “What?”

“All the black.”

It’s not Kazaha that says it, oh no. That would be too merciful for a mortifying moment out of his life. Instead it’s low and feminine, and when Miss Kiki leans out from the other side of Miss, it’s like a siren emerging from the depths, teeth bared to tear a man to shreds. “What an interesting thing I’ve learned today.”

“Miss Kiki! How--?” He gulps. “Why--?”

“I came to deliver a message from Wirant,” she drawls, too pleased. “And it seems I’ve earned myself a fine tip.”

“No,” he breathes. “You can’t-- you’re not going to tell Master, are you? Or Sir?”

“Oh,” she hums, looking particularly hungry for manflesh. “I certainly will.”

*

“Oh, there there.” Miss pats his back, the sensation lost among the dozen layers of clothing between them. “I’m sure Kiki won’t tell them, not until you’re ready! You asked her not to.”

“I think that just means,” Obi mutters, voice muffled by his arms and the wall he’s throwing himself over, “that she’ll just enjoy telling them more.”

“Ah...” He doesn’t need to see her to know her grimace. “Yes, that’s...probably right.”

He lets out a heavy, dramatic sigh. It helps a little. So does a bit of flailing.

“They won’t make a big deal out of it,” Miss says, changing tack. “It hardly changes anything! I’m sure they’ll just forget as soon as she tells them.”

He peeps one eye over his elbow. “That’s easy for you to say, you haven’t spent the last half an hour playing What’s That Color.”

“Well,” she wheedles, “they are scholars.”

Obi groans, loud and long, which doesn’t help; but it echoes out over the rooftops, returning back to him, which does.

“How...?”

Miss hesitates, a gloved finger pressed to her lips. He sighs, already braced for the onslaught-- how didn’t you know? how did you go so long without knowing your colors? how do you find people if you can’t even tell what hair color they have--?

“How did you notice?”

Obi lifts his head, unblinking. “What?”

“How did you notice?” Miss repeats, more firmly this time. “You’ve spent your whole life this way, haven’t you? It must have taken something really special to realize there was more than what you see.”

“Uh.” It’s nice that it’s darker here, that it’s cold. He has perfect legitimate reasons to be flushed. “Well, it was Suzu really. He mentioned that--” his teeth clamp down around his words, not letting them out without a hasty edit-- “that people think your hair’s pretty special, and I said I didn’t get why...”

Miss stiffens beside him, a statue that breathes, and he hastily adds, “Not that you aren’t special, Miss. It’s just, the red...”

“Right.” The words comes out stilted, strange. “You can’t see it. You actually...haven’t ever seen it.”

A silence settles on them like a wool blanket; not one of those nice ones at the castle, or the fleecy ones Miss stockpiles like one day the North might run out of sheep, but the itchy, coarse-woven ones of his childhood. Uncomfortable and smelling faintly of animal.

“So,” he coughs, fixing his gaze out over the city. “What did Kiki want?”

“Oh...” Miss shifts, mouth pulling into a guilty grimace. “She came to tell me that the Queen Dowager has invited me to dinner. Tomorrow night.”

His brows raise. “Well, well.”

“Don’t,” she murmurs, head giving the barest shake. “It’s not like that.”

“Are you sure?” He shouldn’t press, but if he doesn’t, no one else will. “After you told Master--”

“I told him a list of reasons why I thought I would be a better ally as a friend, and not as a...” Miss loses steam, letting her words sigh into the air. “I’d like to believe this has to do with my work with Phostyrias.”

He watches her, careful. “But do you?”

“I don’t know,” she says, which is as good as any no.

*

Obi’s barely stepped into the Protector’s solar when Master asks, “What color is my jacket?”

His head swivels, delivering a glare so flat carpets would be jealous. Miss Kiki only hums, shoulder lifting in a disinterested shrug. “I said I was going to tell them.”

Fair enough.

“It’s blue,” he deadpans, flopping onto the cushiest divan. He’s too long for it, his boots spilling off one arm a idling over the floor. “Apparently I can see that one just fine.”

According to Miss, at least; she’d unearthed a slip of a book from the university’s library, outlining the limits of his sight. Little Ryuu had pored over it for a day before showing up at his door, flushed faced and nervous.

Garrack always told me I had nice eyes, he’d admitted, lingering at the threshold. I was hoping you could see them.

Cross as he is about the whole thing, Obi can’t regret that. He might not have Miss’s hair, or Suzu’s coat-- thankfully-- but Ryuu’s eyes would always look true to him.

“But not red.” Master’s mouth twitches, far too entertained. “Or green.”

“I do see them,” he protests. “They just...don’t look very different to me.”

Just another shade of yellow and brown, if those books are right. Which they are, since he’d always thought so. Subtly different, like the way Suzu and Yuzuri fought over salmon, or Master and Miss Kiki would dither over chartreuse. Just enough that he’d been able to eke by on keeping his mouth shut and a fondness for black.

Still, there’s nothing worse than finding out something new about yourself this late in the game. Especially when--

“What about the curtains?” Master inquires. “Can you see those?”

--Especially when it’s so endlessly entertaining to everyone else. “I can see them,” he grumbles, sinking further into the cushions. “Just because I can’t see some colors doesn’t mean I’m blind.”

“Then what about the note?”

Obi rolls his gaze to where Sir perches at his desk. “Huh?”

“To our red-haired guest.” Sir coughs, a flush working its way up his neck. “It’s just-- you wrote that.”

“Oh, His Grace told me that one.” A lifetime ago, it seemed. “‘The red-haired girl, you’ll know her when you see her, I’m sure.’“

Master winces. Obi can admit his talent doesn’t lie with impressions, especially ones of dour old men.

“Right,” Sir presses, voice oddly tight. “But you don’t see-- I mean, how could you find a girl that looks just like everyone else?”

“Ah...” He grimaces, scrubbing at the top of his head. “Well, I just looked for the girl who didn’t belong. It--” he hesitates, suddenly aware of Master’s eyes on him-- “didn’t take very long.”

Master’s frown belongs above one of those prie-dieu, to remind penitents that forgiveness isn’t absolute. “What is that supposed to--?”

“So what does she look like?” No one could say that after a decade of dedication, Miss Kiki doesn’t know how to do her job; she deflects Master’s brewing sour mood with the ease of a professional. “What does her hair look like to you?”

“Uh.” He clears his throat, tugging at his collar. “I wasn’t lying when I said I bought my scarf to match...”

There is a stillness to the room that is too much, too pitiful. Much as he hated it, Obi would much rather be a joke than a charity case.

“Huh,” Sir grunts, gaze still fixed to his neck. “Now I wonder what we all look like to you.”

“Well, I sort of wonder what you all look like to yourselves.” Obi let a sigh float wistfully through his lips. “At least I know that me and Miss still have the same eyes.”

There’s silence again, but this one buzzes, filled with words no one dares to say.

“What?” he laughs, nervous, pulling himself upright. “Don’t we?”

Sir grimaces. “Ah, Obi...”

*

Miss is quiet when they walk the walls home that night, the winter stillness making the silence and heavy as any drift. Her mouth is pursed, not with anything like anger, but something closer to consideration. As if there’s words back there she’s sorting through, trying to compose a thought that just won’t come.

Well, she should know: she won’t get anywhere if she doesn’t air a few of them out to look at. “Something wrong, Miss?”

She blinks, shaken out from wherever she gone away. Her mind palace, maybe. Suzu’d told him about those once, with busts and painting and curtained alcoves. What she’d do with a place like that, he couldn’t imagine, but if anyone asked, he’d put his money on hers having apothecary drawers instead, and gardens too. The kind with half crumbled walls, ivies curled around every stone. Cluttered desks piled high with books, and one of them with curtain drawn to let its owner nap the afternoon away.

“Oh,” she breathes, finally. “No, no. Nothing’s, um, wrong. I was just...thinking.”

He lifts a knowing brow. “So something is wrong.”

“That’s not what I said,” she informs him, primly. “I was going over my meeting with Haruto, and...”

Her lips snap shut around the words, distress narrowing her eyes. “And...?”

“She didn’t know about my work,” Miss huffs, arms wrapping tight around her chest. “Or, she did, but only what Zen had told her. Which...”

Was far less than the whole of it. He’d heard that part of her argument that night, try as he might not to. “So she invited you as Zen’s ally?”

“No.” The word is colder than any he’s ever heard fall from her lips. “That I wouldn’t mind-- I’m still trying to be his ally, after all, and if she saw me as an asset...” She shook her head. “No, she wanted to meet his...paramour, even if she didn’t say as much.”

Obi grimaces.

“And even that wouldn’t be so bad if...” Miss took a deep, steeling breath. “When I came in, after all the curtsies and pleasantries, she said, your hair is just as red as he said it was.” Her knuckles are white where they wrap around her elbows. “All those years, all those letters, and the only thing he thinks to tell his mother is that my hair...”

The rest is lost in a sigh, a cloud of mist swirling off the wall.

“It must really be something,” Obi deadpans, gaze following it off the edge. “Since it makes all these people forget how smart you are.”

She’s watching him; he can feel it as she sidles up to where he stands, hands unclenching from her arms and splaying on the crenellations instead. “Obi, you really can’t...?”

Miss hesitates, falls silent. He lets her; she’s put enough words in the air to sort through, and now all she needs is time. Obi’s happy to give it to her.

Especially since there’s a rabbit down there in the dark. A small one, moving slow, hind legs churning like clockwork winding up. It’s nose digs into the snow, snuffling around, searching--

“Can you really see better?” Miss asks, startling him back to the wall. “In the dark, I mean. That book said you could.”

“Well, after the past couple days, I’m a little shaky on what’s normal.” He jerks his chin over the edge. “Can you see the rabbit down there? Right by that sapling?”

She blinks, pressing in close. “The what? It’s just...dark out there.”

“Well,” he says, grin tight on his lips. “There’s your answer.”

Miss settles back on her heels, one hand already cupping her chin. “It makes sense. Without the distraction of color, your movement tracking must be much more acute...”

Obi only half-manages to stifle a laugh. “Seems like it definitely distracts everyone else.”

Miss goes quiet; almost too quiet, enough to make his teeth sit on edge. The seconds tick by, and Obi might play at patience, but it’s not in his nature. He glances down, just from the corners of his eyes, but Miss is already watching him, eyes strangely shuttered.

“Obi,” she says, so clear his name rings in his ears. “You don’t...? My hair, it’s not...” Her mouth works, quiet, before she manages, “It’s not anything to you?”

Anything special, she means. Because that’s what he said so stupidly last night, nothing special.

She’d tied it up tonight, finagling the strange looping knots that were partial to the queen’s court, but already some of it’s worn loose, slipping from its pins. “It is,” he murmurs. “I like it.”

She huffs, unimpressed. “But you can’t see it, not really.”

“Of course I can see it,” he laughs, weary. “Maybe not the color, but that’s fine. I like it because it’s yours.”

She ducks her head, and Obi might not be good at colors, but he can see her cheeks flush in the lamplight.

“Miss.” Her gaze lifts to his, no longer shuttered, just full. “Can I ask you something?”

Her breath catches. “Anything.”

“Be straight with me,” he pleads. “We do have the same eye color right?”

*

“Obi!” Miss‘s laughter bubbles bright with betrayal as she hops down the stairs after him. “Obi, please--”

“Let me grieve, Miss,” he grumbles, hands shoved in his pockets. “I’ve been a real champ about the rest, but let me have this.”

“Obi!” She catches him round the wrist, mouth twitching as she turns to him. “Is it really so bad that they’re gold?”

“No,” he mutters sullenly, shoulders slumped enough that with two stairs between them, they’re nearly the same height. “It’s just...”

Her eyes flutter wide with curiosity. “Just...?”

“It’s fine enough that they’re unique.” He spits the word with more venom than it deserves. “I just I wanted this one thing in common.”

“In common?” Miss blinks. “You mean, me and...?”

Obi would lay down his life for his mistress, but even she can’t ask him to do this, to lay down his pride for her to walk on.

“Oh!” She flusters, limbs fluttering in the air between them. He’s half-tempted to turn away again, but she grabs his face and holds him steady, her cold, slender fingers caught behind his jaw. “Just-- just one moment...”

“Miss?” he wheezes. This is entirely too close, too much--

“Yes!” He breath flutters over his lips, her own parting in a celebration of teeth. “That’s it. I see it. There’s a little, right there.”

He blinks. “A little what, Miss?”

Her teeth flash around the word, “Green.”

It’s cruel to throw a starving dog a bone, but he snaps it up anyway, heart nearly clogging up his throat with hope. “D’you mean it? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better.”

“Really,” she promises, her nod serious and officious as any she might give Little Ryuu. “There’s a thread, right around the middle. Green. Just like mine.”

“Oh.” His own hands raise, leather muting the feel of her skin, but-- Master always told him about the red thread that bound him and Miss together, that drew them toward their fated meeting, but this-- Obi will take this too. “Thank you, Miss.”

She smiles, eyes shining bright in the lamplight. “No, Obi, it’s my pleasure.”

Not much different between green and red to him, anyway.

[imagine4000]

Turtle Rush Part 5

Hey everyone. Hope you’re enjoying this fanfic. Be sure to read it in order if you’re a bit lost in the plot. 

Stay safe, healthy, and in good spirits!

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[HIDDEN CITY]

“Get your fresh fish here~! Straight from the well’s mouth!”

“Organic leaping fruits! Put a pep in your step! Get them while they’re still springy!”

“Want to impress your lady? Then come down to our ancient jewelry! Where we treat every woman like a queen!”

As the markets of Hidden City bustles with shopkeepers and goods of all kinds, Dahlia trails to the forest. When reaching her destination in the deepest parts, she opens the bag and starts collecting whatever she can get her hands on.

‘These look great. Perfect for this season.’

Zip~

“This should be enough.”

Mayhem sits on her shoulders as they walk further down.

*Squeaking*

“I know you can teleport us there, but it’s been a while since my last visit. Let’s enjoy the view as we go. I’ll even let you snack on a few of these.”

Dahlia rubs his cheek as he meows with glee.

“You’ll like it there, Mayhem. It’s peaceful, quiet, and has the best—"

Rustle-Rustle~

“!?”

Mayhem snarls as Dahlia scans her surroundings.

RUSTLE~

The sounds become louder as she takes a fighting stance.

SHOOM!

“AAHHH!”

THUMP!

In a flash, someone flies into her, knowing each other down.

“Ugh~....”

“Augh, what in the—”

“Dahlia?”

Her head shoots up to see the younger terrapin.

“Michael?”

They stumble back on their feet.

“Where did...how did you...and why is there a rope tied to your waist?!”

Rustle—Rustle!

Just then, they see Leo2k3. 

“Mikey, there you are. I was...Dahlia?”

Seeing the shock on her face, his eyes shift to the weapon in his hand then back at her.

“I-I...let me explain—”

“Are you insane?”

Frustration takes over as she comes closer.

“I said I would handle this, and yet you go behind my back?!”

“Um, guys, this really isn’t the time to—”

“I know and I’m sorry, but I couldn’t stand by and do nothing! I want to help as much as you do!”

“That’s our mission too,” Mikey2k12 argues, “but I ain’t acting loco like you, homie! Let’s go back already and talk about this where it’s safe, please?”

“He’s right. You’re on the outskirts of the Hidden City. The wild here is just as dangerous and unpredictable as that sword you’re holding, you thief.”

“Oh, so I’m the bad guy here?”

“No duh, Mr. I-Know-Everything’.”

“Aren’t you just as upset as I am, Michael?! We’re stranded in another dimension and our only chance of getting back could be this! I had to try!”

“And you could’ve wound up in some whacko world with no oxygen, or in space, or...or...you get the idea!”

Unbeknownst to them, something lurks in the woods, circling the trio.

“You didn’t have to follow me!”

“But I did anyway! I throw myself into a portal to drag your sorry shell back to get you out of trouble! And that’s rich from someone who’s a screwup!”

“Enough! Both of you!”

The turtles turn away from each other.

“Nardo, I....I am disappointed that you...hah...but I’m not...I don’t hate you for this.”

She doesn’t see the confliction in his face.

“But you have to understand. This place and the one above...both are my home. I know them better than anyone. What you did was just dumb luck. If you hadn’t shown up here, you could’ve been in a worse situation where I or April, or—or your brothers wouldn’t be able to find you.”

Both turtles look to her as Mayhem hugs her neck in comfort.

“Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing or how I’m gonna do it...but I’m not giving up. Right now, all I want is for you to give me a chance...and so far...you haven’t.”

“......”

SHAAA~

“...Um, guys...”

GRRR!

They gasp as a ten-foot lion appears. Two tails, crystal-pattern on its body and a glowing, red gemstone embedded in its chest.

“It’s that freaky creature again!”

“An Inferleon...here?”

FWIP!

“Look out!”

BAM!

“Ahh!”

Using her foot, she uses her powers to push the boys away.

CLANG!

“Ngh!”

She forms two spears to hold the beast’s paw in place.

“Dahlia, above you!”

FWOOM!

WHAM!

She backflips away in time before its tails take a whack at her.

“Is the portal you came from still open?!”

“It’s due east over there!”

ROOOOAAAR!!

“Well, what’re you waiting for!”

They make a run for it while dodging the yokai’s tails with each strike.

“What is that thing?!”

“An Inferleon! But they’re usually docile! Which one of you ticked it off!?”

“We didn’t! It just charged right at us!”

“I don’t wanna be cat food~!”

“There it is!”

Only twenty-feet away from the blue light as they run faster.

FWIP/AHH!

“Mikey!”

SNATCH/WOAH!

“Leo!”

Dahlia slides back when the beast coils its tails on each of them.

At the exact moment, the four turtles return to the lair to see their brothers holding onto ropes while a portal is open.

“What the shell?!”

“U-Uh, hey guys.”

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“Woah!”

Raph2k12 feels a tug on his end of the rope and tries to pull back. Raph2k3 and Donnie2k12 help him while Leo2k12 and Mikey2k3 do the same for Donnie2k3.

“How long have they been gone?”

“Three minutes.”

“Then what’s keepin’ them from—ahh!”

WHIP/BAM!

All of a sudden, they get lifted up and hit the floor.

“Woah/Augh~!”

WHIP/WHAM!

“What—OW—is—OUCH—happening?!”

“How should—OW—I know—OOF!”

BAM!

“Augh, my shell!”

WHIP/SLAM!

Like themselves, Leo and Mikey are getting flipped back and forth by the beast.

Ringtone!

Just then, Dahlia gets a facetime from April.

Beep!

“Hey, April, can this wait for a moment?”

“Just checking on how y—WHAT THE WHAT IS THAT!?”

“AAHHH!”

SLAM!

“Long story! Gotta go!”

[Wait, what are—]

Bleep!

Dahlia quickly dials a number.

[Hello?]

“Raging Red, it’s me!”

[Dahlia?! Where—]

“When I say ‘now’ you pull on the ropes as hard as you can! Get Franken-Foot to help!”

[What are you gonna do?]

“Something stupid.”

Staying on call, Dahlia charges in.

SNARL!

BAM!

She leaps sideways and snags a fragment of the Inferleon’s crystals.

CLANKING!

FWIP/SLAM!

She forms chains strong enough to restrain the mystic lion down on its back. Landing on its chest, Dahlia heads for the firestone.

SHAA!

Dahlia creates a protective layer over her hands with larger ones.

FWOOM!

CRACKLE!

But when reaching out, a forcefield pushes her back.

“Dang it, should’ve known it repels magic,” she curses.

“Ugh~ I’m gonna be sick—ouch—woah!”

Biting her lip, Dahlia had only one thing to do.

“Sorry about this, big guy.”

Inhaling sharply, she plunges her bare hands onto the gem.

FSSSHHH!

“AAHHH~!”

“Dahlia/Dahlia, no!”

The agonizing pain is too much to bear, but her persistence grows as she uses all her strength.

CLANG!

ROOOAAAARRR!

The beast cries as the gem pulls out from its body and loses its tail grip on the turtles.

“Now, Raph!”

“PULL~!”

YANK!

The turtles, Franken-Foot, and Shelldon tug on the ropes as the brothers get pulled in.

FWOOM!

“(Both)DAHLIA!”

SWHING!

THUMP!

Leo2k3 and Mikey2k12 are now back in the lair as the portal disappears.

“Little bro!”

Raph2k12 collides into his youngest brother and helps him up.

“You alright, buddy?”

“Ugh...I won’t be riding rollercoasters for a while.”

“What happened? And where’s Dahlia?”

“Oh no! Dudes, she’s in trouble—we gotta go save her!”

Raph2k12 tries calling her, but only hears static.

“Aw, sewer apples, the line’s dead!”

“......Huff...”

A drop of sweat drips down Dahlia’s cheek. Her eyes glued to the Inferleon, its face only a foot away from hers as she is cornered into a wall. The beast breathes slowly as its fangs let out a menacing growl. Mayhem tries to shield Dahlia, but she holds him in place, not breaking eye-contact. She can sense it. His pain much stronger than her tarnished palms burnt by the stone she forcibly removed. It only makes her chest burn with anxiety, sadness, and remorse. Dahlia ducks her head, curling up with Mayhem in her lap. She prepares for the worst, and she knew she deserves it.

SLUMP~

But after a long, unbearable silence, Dahlia is stunned as the Inferleon lies on its belly in front of her. Relaxing herself, Dahlia leans forward as Mayhem jumps beside the lion. His behavior confused Dahlia. It’s as if it can read her thoughts and emotions. Slowly, she reaches out, watching his movements before he licks her hand, a low howl coming through his throat.

“...I’m sorry, too. I’m so sorry.”

Dahlia then remembers the gemstone and sees it lying on the side. Even if her palms, still feeling the fiery pain deep in her skin and numb to the touch, she knows what to do to make this right.

REOW~!

“...Mayhem? What’s wrong—”

SHOOM!

“Uh!”

TWIRL—TWIRL!

ROAR!

Out of nowhere, a giant net made of glowing strings ensnares on the Inferleon. Dahlia and Mayhem see a man. Or at least she thinks, till he came closer. Stripe patterns on the visible, glowing red-orange skin, wearing black leather with a pullover face-mask.

“Not bad, little lady. Even the wild beasts respect you.”

He twirls the net-gun and drops it back into its case.

Click

WHIRR~

The stranger uses a high-tech bubble to carry the gem inside as it magnetically pulls to his hand.

“Thanks for doing the job for me.”

The Inferleon snarls at the figure.

“So, you’re the one who forced him out of his cave.” 

“Wasn’t that difficult. Oh—(chuckles)sorry, where are my manners.”

The brunette pulls his mask down, revealing his face that appears merman-like as his golden eyes smile.

“I’m Jax. Your friends are already acquainted with us.”

“Figures they’d be a walking magnet for fellow clowns.”

“Aren’t you adorable.”

He tosses the orb a few times while walking sideways.

“Wish we could’ve met earlier. You would’ve made a great apprentice. But for now, I’m in the middle of something, so~...”

C-CLACK

BOOM!

With another gun, he opens a portal.

“Have fun playing catch-up.”

“Think again, fish-lips!”

Skid!

Dahlia gets on her feet and collides into him as they fall into the portal.

SHWING!

TUMBLE!

Next thing they know, they’re rolling into the middle of an abandoned construction site.

KICK!

“Ow! Hey, not cool!”

Dahlia chases after Jax as they jump from one steel column to the next till they stop halfway.

BOOM!

SHWING!

Jax escapes through a portal and reappears on the other side of the building.

FWOOM!

“Ngh!”

WHIRL!

Dahlia spins sideways to dodge the metal hoop and sees Hypno floating in the air.

“Hello again, my dear.”

“And goodbye!”

She runs ahead.

CLANG!

She’s cut off by Ghostbear and Meat-Sweats.

“Peek-a-boo, little mousie.”

“We have a reservation for one, runaway brunch.”

Dahlia raises her hand out, but feels a sharp twinge, forcing her to retract.

“Looks like you’re out of luck, lassie.”

However, Dahlia spots the rope flung over one column and a wheelbarrow of bricks. Her smirk changes quickly to shock and points down.

“Oh-mi-gosh, is that Guy Flambe eating pork risotto with Annihilation?”

“Huh/Que?”

💥👊🏼PUNCH/OOF!

Dahlia runs to the wheelbarrow and ties the rope onto the handle.

“You’re French toast, pest!”

KICK!

“AAHH!”

CRASH!

The impact makes them fall with the wheelbarrow.

WHOOSH!

Dahlia grabs the other end of the rope, despite the pain, pulling her up. She leaps off and keeps climbing to the top.

“Forgot about me?”

SWING/CLANG—CLANG!

She dodges the hoops, then finds herself heading for a ledge.

“Whew—okay, okay, you got this. One...”

CLANG!

“Dah~ three!”

BOING!

She manages to form coils onto her feet to bounce towards the other rooftop.

TUMBLE~!

“OW—OW—OW!”

POOF!

“...Ow.”

She hits a pile of cement sacks and slides down.

SHWING!

Reow!

“Mayhem!”

SWIRL/GRAB!

“Augh!”

Dahlia squirms as Meat-Sweats’ tendrils get ahold of her.

SHLOOP!

“Ngh...gah~!”

The glowing, green, blobs appear as it sucks out her energy.

“Struggling only makes it worse,” Meat-Sweats cackles, “but an ingredient who puts up a fight makes the flavor even more delectable.”

Mayhem lunges towards them.

TWIRL/SNATCH/WHIMPER!

“No!”

A high-tech bolas net traps him onto a pillar.

KA-THUMP!

Coming out of a portal are two more men appearing alien-like the same as Jax.

“Told ya I would knab the sucker, Colton.”

The dirty-blonde mohawk has sharp, pointed teeth that sneer with joy. He tosses the bow, and his redhead friend with goggles catches it with his tail.

“Not bad, Skeet. I give it an 8-point average.”

Once Dahlia no longer had the willpower, Meat-Sweats drops her to the floor.

“What shall we do with her, boss?”

They look to Jax, who sits on an isolated bench.  

“Dahlia/Where are you?!”

Jax sees the turtles outside the fence, his eyes glow eerie with intrigue. He gets up and walks forward.

WHOOSH~

A gust of wind blows his hood off, revealing dreadlocks that act like living tentacles as they hover over Dahlia.

“You boys go on ahead.”

SHWING/SHOOM!

Once the others disappear, Jax picks Dahlia up by her throat with one lock of his hair.

“Ugh...ah...”

She groans, could barely utter a word as her vision starts to blur.

“You made it this far, kid.”

A smile still lingers as his expression grows dark.

“Don’t disappoint me.”

TOSS~

A cold rush of air. 

WHOOSH!

Unexplained sounds fading. 

CRUMBLE~!

The night sky and the world around turn into a dark void.

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 CRASH!

[TO BE CONTINUED...]

[cringesideblog]

here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.

heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”

Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”

TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”

Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”

Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”

Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”

Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”

Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”

Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”

Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”

I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”

Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”

The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”

Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”

Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”

Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”

Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”

Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”

Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”

The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”

Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”

Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”

Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”

Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”

Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”

Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”

This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”

Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”

august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”

I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”

Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”

Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”

Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”

Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”

Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”

Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”

Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”

I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”

In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3