#then tonight he texted me again
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Not a bad get from work's sample sale the other day tbh 😌
#ore no kao#also ending up with <6hrs of sleep tonight after sleeping in this weekends 😩#fun hang for a friend's bday; watched some older good snl/onion vids before HOTD (which i don't really watch but i'm here for camaraderie)#and now work in the morn 😴#(also cute friend from wed's date thanked me for holding his umbrella for next time and said he had a great time#but hasnt replied to my texts thursday saying i liked exploring our chemistry and that i was thinking of kissing him again#or from yday hoping he's had a good few days and that i feel bad for still having his umbrella given how it's poured this weekend#[he'd left it in our bathtub to dry as we fooled around but the roomie was in there as it got late and he left lol]#he's working two jobs and has 12-hr shifts fridays and sats so i'm hoping it's nothing but a little surprising for how well wed night went#and it would be nice to see him more so i guess we'll see)#(for dates and also getting to suck him again 😩)
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as much as rodrigo's opportunistic personality irritates me and i hold him 100% responsible for the animosity and infighting among his children as he played them like puppets on strings like i'll always clock him for that!! but there's just something profoundly sad about him in season 3 that makes me feel sorry for him because throughout the final season he was a defeated ailing old man who spends his time sitting alone in the garden lamenting "our only son </333" about cesare because he's the only one left to him while flashbacking his dead son as a child and said flashbacks evoke a great amount of guilt in him (for setting him up against his siblings and ultimately compelling his brother to kill him). plus cesare's passive threatening, constant disobedience, and implications of usurping him if he won't hand over the papal army to him...idk it's just heartbreaking to watch him witness his family's dynamic change forever and become more distant because despite everything he sincerely loves his kids and genuinely believed he was uniting them but instead he sabotaged them :/
#he's that type of character that i love yelling at him yet like him once again lmao#not me having rodrigo feelings tonight and feeling soft for him naurrr#insane stuff truly he never meant to hurt them all but he deliberately remained oblivious for his own political gain??#rodrigo borgia#the borgias#text post
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there’s definitely a lot of room for interpretation in his character but i think it’s really funny when people misunderstand parts of Akechi Lore that are like. just straight up told to you. like i’m not trying to say anything but i think some people need to rewatch engine room.
#bobtalk#sorry ive mostly moved on from the PEAK of my Persona Fixation but does anything ever truly end#thinking about p/5 again tonight#my favorite example is when ppl r like ‘he uncomplicatedly utterly HATES joker >:(‘#bc like. morgana is like *turns to camera* no he doesn’t. akc voice GRAHHHHH SHUT UPPPPPP#and there r so many examples like that. like what do you mean you don’t get his motive to do All That? he straight up tells you. lol#tone doesn’t translate well over text so i’d like to clarify this isn’t me getting heated. i genuinely find this hilarious. to be clear.#something something did we play the same game something
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y'all. I just found. so many new pictures of Maximus I've never seen before. I feel like I just discovered buried treasure or a new planet or something
#i will share ASAP#i need to organize them and then they're going on my blog#also i have a crazy day so i won’t be able to post until tonight :(#they're old set photos that i've never seen before :O#they are. SO. BEAUTIFUL#tons from his fights in the arena and his time as a general#it's like my love for this man can't get any stronger#but then BAM there it is again#he's everything to me everything everything#i am SO EXCITED HAHAHAHAHA#MY HUSBAND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH#gladiator#text posts
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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Literally THE BEST THING TO OPEN TUMBLR TO. After a hard day at work, to get home and open Tumblr and immediately see things about Gojo’s return I ALMOST DROPPED MY PHONE. GENUINELY SO HAPPY RN. GEGE IF YOU’RE MESSING WITH US IM GONNA BE SO MAD 😭😭 Actually so scared he’s messing with us please I can’t take it
Gojo the LOML I MISSED YOU
#Work may have sucked today but TONIGHT IM THRIVING#KINDA SCARED BUT THRIVING#time to text my old coworker who I used to update every week before she moved away#and also my other friend who wanted me to tell her if he could be coming back#also this is so funny. I FINALLY get around to watching season 2#and resign myself to really not seeing him again for awhile#AND HE IMMEDIATELY POTENTIALLY COMES BACK???#I WOULD’VE WATCHED SEASON 2 SOONER#Anyway. I’m so full of hope again. Please Gege please….#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen Manga spoilers#jjk leaks#Jujutsu Kaisen leaks#jjk 260#I think#maddiepost
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FINISHED GAIDEN
#rgg gaiden spoilers in tags#GUH. SNIFF. GUH. BUHHHHBUHBUH. FUCK#!!!!! EUGHHHUGHHH#WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME GAIDEN WAS GOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AUUGGUHEHGEHHVBBBBGHHG#SOBBINGNH BAWLING THROWING UP SHUDDERING SNIFFLING LIMP DREADFUL UGHHGHUUHH#EUGHHHHHHHHHGYUGHHHHHGGH#SORRY I WAS GONNA REFLECT BUT I CANT STOP TEXT GROANING LIKE. HYUGHHHGGGHHH GUHHHHHH#SOBBING INTERNALLY REALLY REALLY HARD RN...#it was such a good final sequence... like the whole final fight was so good#AND UFHGEYHG EVERYONES REACTIONS TO KIRYU COMING BACK.. AND HIS TO THEM ...#majima veing like yeah ywah ok sure thing joryu just. just don't run off too soon arright? GUHHHHHBWAUUUUHHHGGUUGUUHHBBBHHHHHHHHNNGGGHHHH#WET PILE ON THE FLOOR#and it's such a good final fight and final occasion for what's probably gonna be kiryu's final solo finale yknow?#captured the spirits of the others while getting the emotion and the hype in a way i havent felt with the past couple antags#yumi ring post credit sequence..... awhhhh 🥺🥺🥺 ...... he loves her.....🤧🤧🤧#GYUGJH so glad to see rgg finally remembering yumi oughhguhhh and theres at least one papa kazama substory#and obv Tonight is there so like. the trio have been acknowledged which is nice#anyway very happy to see ichi again i miss him OH THE HIDDEN CAMERA SHIT. HRNGHHH NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THATTT#HGUHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNMMNRHRGZGZHJDBDBD BAWLING BAWLING BAWLIGN BAWLIGN BAWLING FUCKIGN SCREAMING‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#nooooooooooooo god it's so fucking sad dude... houghrhhgh like kiryu just crying and whimpering for a few minutes and the screen getting#more and more covered with his tears (and snot oops) and just. hububububhhhhh AND THE WAY HE LAUGHED WHEN THEY SAID NO ONE BELIEVED HE WAS#REALLY DEAD AT MORNING GLORY.. CUTE. YEAH WE ALL KNOW YOURE BAD AT DISGUISES I LOVE YOU FOREVER JORYU SUZUKI TAICHI#my heart.... kiryuuuuuuu kiryu i love you so much forever and everrrrrrrrr kiryujuiuuuuiu. GHRBMRNRNBSHAHSV#sad. sad sad sad. but not empty. never empty.#hhhnngnhnnn and like just. pshhhUGH i really liked the side characters this time around. akame and tsuruno and shishido and nishitani#BOY WAS I HAPPY TO SEE THE (LITERAL) BLOODLUST RETURN JDGDJS THAT SCENE WHERE HES LIKE joryu you got me ROCK HARD and tsuruno's like#p-patriarch?? LAUGHING MY FUCKIGN ASS OFF THAT SHIT WAS SO GOOD. THEY CALLED HIM A CAT IN HEAT STOPPPJDGSJSHS#and the lighting was pretty and the environments were gorgeous and i really liked everything i did#theyre starting to make the dragon engine combat good lol
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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S2e6 Truth/Dare, when Mr. Farouk said, "Well, when you don't figure out you're gay until your late 20s, you tend to miss out on those beautiful gay teenage experiences." I broke.
#im at that 7 minute or 8 minute mark and im literally bawling#its OFMD all over again lol#the way biphobia and bi erasure had me never talking to girls. literally was snapping a girl tonight about date plans#i dont think 14 yo's who *know* who they are could ever understand those of us who just dont realize it til way later lol#it really feels like a loss. a genuine loss lol#ive been growing to like Mr Farouk but now hes my favorite#he's me and I'm him in that way. that moment#im still fucking crying lol#a 5 min text post is about 15 mins in with me ugly crying lol#heartstopper spoilers#heartstopper s2 spoilers#heartstopper#heartstopper s2#💖❤️🧡💛💚💙💜#💖💜💙#<me bi. not Farouk before any of yall who need validation thru internet discourse jump all up my ass about it#aunt posting
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Oh my god hey besties guess who's having an awful time like mentally
#ironically I have an email to respond to for an appointment with my mental health worker but I don't have the energy to answer#I've eaten approximately one meal and then dessert today. Nothing else. It's 11pm#And the thought of eating just the half a bag (snack sized) of chips makes me want to cry#not to mention the days long urge to take a knife and try to cut out my veins. Like a dissection but I still get to watch#Playing guitar hero last night was great for giving me something to do that didn't make me think#except for the part where every time I missed a note I hated myself more#I ignored my bestfriend for 3 days after proclaiming that everything was bad and I didn't want to be alive#and then when he asked if I was still alive and I replied we had an entirely self deprecating conversation#Ryanna was texting me this morning and I replied but the whole time I had no interest#And at one point I wanted to cry just because nothing was right and it was all too hard#Ryanna is usually my favourite person to talk to#She said she'd text me again tonight (to finish the conversation) and I'm hoping she doesn't#I hope she's too busy#So yeah besties having a hard time lmao#jamie shut the fuck up#personal blog#just vibing#rambling#vent :(
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😶✨
#guess what yall#i'm seeing him again!!#we met up a week ago and hiked and swam#it was so nice to catch up :'))#his hair is a bit grown out now and awooga#and now i'm spending tonight and tomorrow night at his place#i'm so excited and nervous ahh I haven't been there since april#and he just texted me saying all of his roommates are gonna be gone. so like what's that supposed to mean???#anyways. excitement/nerves induced ibs flare up incoming#and i cannot think that this will be the last time I'll see him (even tho it probably will be) I will go insane#personal
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..
#thinking about how this time last year I was excited and looking forward to hanging out/going on a date with#this guy who would ultimately end up being the reason why I don’t ever wanna date again#and how we needed up spending pretty much the whole day together#starting with getting coffee and him asking me to lunch because he wanted to keep hanging out#and then inviting me to a show with him and his friends#and then we would end up dating for the next three months#taking it slow and getting to actually know one another#ya know that whole three month rule thing 🙄🙄#and how he was so genuine and respectful in his pursuit of me#and how we agreed to be exclusive like two and a half months in#only for him to break up with me two weeks later the day after I got mono (which I’m still positive was from him)#and tell me that he didn’t have anything to offer as far as dating but could we be friends ??#and now we don’t even talk anymore#but he somehow still occupies space in my brain#and I hate it but not him 🫠🫠🫠#anywho it’s been a year since I met him and went on that first date#and sometimes I wish I hadn’t met him#and other times I think it was inevitable#because I probably wouldn’t have reevaluated what I wanted in dating and a partner#but also maybe I would’ve actually still maintained some hope in love and dating#idk we’re having feelings tonight#mine#text post#*ended up Jesus I can spell okay??
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I think I actually have to give up on this guy cuz he said friday then never responded to my texts on friday then texted me hi yesterday and never responded after that.and it's fully possible that it's only because of his mental illness situation and he does actually like me but he's struggling but bbbbbbh I can't handle this
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Nope, I'm still crying
#i wish literally anybody from school remembered me#literally only 2 people i was friends with hace talked to me in the past four years#i had the realization tonight that i was never given the choice to nurture most of my friendships#everytime i tried outside of school hours including trying to join clubs my mom would make me leave halfway through then lecture me#that she didn't have time to drive to town and get me#but as soon as my brother wanted to join junior air force she suddenly had all the time and energy in the world to devote to that#so what I'm getting here is that my friendships and interests weren't important enough or worth her time#i wasn't interested in Junior air force 1 cause it wasn't offered to me and 2 I'm not a boit licker#no#i was interested in the video game and board game clubs cause my friends were in them and they WANTED me to join#but after not getting to stay for more than one full session after a month i left the board game club cause it wasn't fair to the others#and i only went to the video game clu once and i don't remember much of it cause i was too anxious that she was gonna flip on me#i kept waiting for her text but instead she showed up at the classroom and made me leave#so when the same teacher that ran the board game club asked if i wanted to join the chess club cause he knew i liked chess#i told him i couldn't cause i was too busy because i didn't want to deal with begging my mom to let me join#she would have said yes but would have continued not letting me stay and being super passive aggressive#I'm not even in the year book for the year my friends graduated#the one thing she did let me do was drama and i hated every second of it. it was genuinely a bad experience for me#yeah i had friends in drama but it's not the same as hanging with my nerdy guy friends playing a star wars ttrpg#the worst part is she gets so defensive when i bring it up and won't give me a reason outside of 'I guess I'm just the worst parent'#it's in those moments i really remember she's the youngest in her family#OH!! it gets worse! she told me when i was younger that she had to be an honorary cheer leader cause HER MOM absolutely refused to#let her join cheer and she's alsways been bitter about it but then she turns around and did basically the same thing to me ffs#at least she was allowed to hang out with people after-school i wasn't allowed to do that either#no. instead i spent the hours after shcool alone most days and my weekends home alone in my room. and she wonders why my social skills are#maybe if I'd been allowed to work on my relationships outside of a classroom i wouldn't have felt so abandoned when everyone i knew#graduated without me. maybe if i didn't have to start back at square one socially again and had people to text and hang with after class#i wouldn't have dropped out. and i think only atlas knows i dropped out. idk how to text these people without spunding like I'm looking for#sympathy when they ask what I'm up to. like yeah I'm stuck at home with an anxiety disorder and unemployed trying to get on disability#prisma vents
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Just found out my two siblings are in my mom's will, but not me. Also my grandpa has told the entire family about his engagement. Except for me. Also my dad told my siblings that he and my mom bought a plot of land. Can you guess who they haven't told?
#these tags are about to be a massive trauma dump tbh so avoid if you want#when i was fifteen i came out as trans. and my mom was terrible about it. and my dad was up for a promotion so we were considering moving#and i found a list of my moms pros and cons for moving. on the pros was 'people there dont know about (deadname)'#so that was ideal for a suicidal fifteen year old to find. and tonight i just learned that im not in her will#both of my siblings are. but im not. and its just always been like this#im treated like im not part of the family anymore. and it's been that way since i was fifteen#i heard from my brother that my grandpa is engaged. and he told both my siblings about it directly. he never told me#i reach out to my parents. i never hear back. my aprents text my sibling to check on me (sib and i live together)#everything is kind of shit rn. one of my rats is dying. my family doesnt love me. im broke. my best friend and i arent really talking#because he fucked my ex gf and now things arent really the same anymore. strangely enough. he doesnt reach out anymore#so i have no one to talk to about any of this shit#last night i was crying about my rat and i guess my roommate heard it cuz this morning they said#'are you okay? if you ever need someone to talk to who will never bring it up again you can talk to me'#and thats the most loving thing ive heard from someone in months. from a woman ive known since august#im. just. at a loss. since i found out tonight. that im not in my mom's will#its not about money. or assets. its about the fact that im her fucking child and both of her other children are in it but im not#after she dies shes willing to help them out but i can get fucked ig#i wonder if im gonna be invited to my grandpas wedding. i wonder if any of them would want me at their funeral#i wonder if any of them would come to mine
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"Crowley's actually a girl's name" hit me like a truck
Gomens and other similar pieces of media can only wish to have the absolute insanity of BBC johnlock tbh
#I don't think I'll experience ship-induced insanity like that ever again#I'm not talking about how the fandom acted I'm talking about the actual text#it's not our fault they wrote the main characters like the most insanely repressed romance of all time#6k years on earth together doesn't even compare to one (1) John Watson#going 'I find it difficult--I find it difficult this sort of stuff'#when he thinks they're about to die#and Sherlock only devises that moment because he knows that's the only way to get John to open up!!#and then Sherlock at the end of the season aborting his confession#even though he thinks he's being shipped off to never see John again l m a o#look at me with the flashbacks tonight#replies
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