#something something did we play the same game something

[wileys-russo]

I love all your fics!!! From Alexia’s foundation can we get an Alexia x reader fic where you guys have a kid and Alexia won’t even take it easy on her own child while playing soccer

take it easy II a.putellas

"alexia." the blondes face softened at the call of her name, perking up as you smiled apologetically at the few other parents you scooted past to drop down into the empty seat beside your wife.

"hola mi amor." she pressed a kiss to your cheek as you scooted a little closer. "que?" she frowned seeing the obviously amused smile on your face as you looked at her.

"i have something..." she wiped at her mouth, having had a coffee not that long ago as you let out a chuckle and shook your head. "no, but you were making that face again." her frown only deepened at your answer.

"what face?" "the face." "what face?"

"this face." you mocked her stern scowl, sitting back in your chair and crossing your arms, practically glaring at the pitch where your son was running around, his training almost finished and the sun starting to dip lower behind the trees.

clicking her tongue at you the footballer just waved you off with a shake of her hand, though by the way she continued to fidget and adjust her position you knew she was now too aware of the way her face looked.

"what is wrong with my face?" your wife eventually huffed as the final whistle blew, all the boys huddling up with their coach as some of the parents began to stand and make their way over to the gate.

"nothing baby, i like your face. i married it." you pinched her cheek as she puffed air out of her nose and rolled her eyes simultaneously.

"why you make fun of it!" she scowled again, the accented english adorable as always, both of you speaking a blend of spanish, catalan and english around your son so he learned both your native languages equally.

"amor i am not making fun of it. but it makes him nervous when you sit and scowl like that!" you laughed as her frown shifted into something more curious. "who is nervous? leo?" alexia questioned.

"no amor, his coach!" you snickered, knocking your knee into hers and nodding down to where sure enough your sons five a side coach was sparing the pair of you, mainly your wife, nervous glances every now and then.

"see? this is why i said i would drop him off and pick him up today. have you been here the whole time?" you raised an eyebrow as your wife shrugged. "parents are allowed to stay."

"parents maybe, not professional footballers." you smiled, waving at leo as he spotted you with the same bright eyed grin that perfectly mirrored your wife.

"you make him nervous because of instead of watching leo you watch him and how he trains the boys. but they are five alexia! this isn't la masia." you teased as the blonde pulled a face, standing to her feet and offering you a hand up as the team dispersed, all running toward their parents.

"no if this was la masia, they would be winning games." alexia mumbled as you shot her a look and pinched her in warning, your sons team on quite the losing streak much to your over achieving high expectations having wifes displeasure.

"again amor, they are five." you reminded quietly as she hummed, leo sprinting over with his little cleats clacking against the pavement. alexia crouched down and braced right as he crash tackled into her, easily picking him up and spinning him around with a kiss to his cheek which was wiped off in seconds.

"you did so good today! i saw your goal." you praised as your son hugged your leg tightly, ruffling his sweaty hair as he beamed up at you, grabbing your hand and chattering away faster than you could even process the words.

"mami can we go kick the ball? i'm not tired yet!" your son begged, eyes looking pleadingly up at the blonde who smiled. "sí, cariño. i just want to go and speak to your coach about something-" you clicked your tongue at her but before you could even utter a word she was gone.

"vamos niño, mami can meet us at the car."

~

you watched on with a soft smile as your wife and son chased and raced around after one another in the park not far from your house, makeshift goals set up using sticks.

"mama! foul!" leo yelled to you from the ground as alexia tripped him, stealing the ball and booting it right into her goal, raising her hands to the sky victoriously. "amor." you cautioned her with a warning glare.

"que? that was clean!" she waved you off, leo already back up and on his feet with a scowl. "foul!" he parroted pointing accusingly at alexia. "foul. penalty kick awarded!" you did your best attempt at a whistle, will cheering and sprinting off to get the ball.

"let him score." you warned your wife once he was out of earshot. "en serio?" the midfielder scoffed in disbelief at the request. "sí alexia, he is five!" you hissed as leo returned, eagerly lining up for the kick.

"vamos mami!" he whined impatiently as you gave your wife a look and she walked off to the goal, standing in as keeper as leo took a few steps back and readied himself, hand shooting up in the air making you grin and alexia hide her smile.

"go!" you clapped, leo lurching forwards and booting the ball which sailed through the air...and right into alexias hands. "no goal!" your wife announced as leo slumped over, scowl returning and kicking at the grass.

"mama i wanna go home." he near levitated to your side, frown still etched into his features. "what! leo-" alexia called out but he was already off, stomping toward the car as you stood.

"see? you could not just let him score? idiota." you smacked her arm and snatched the ball, following after your son as alexia sighed deeply, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"leo we have to learn to lose cariño!" "i lose every week mami!" alexia winced a little at that as you all got into the car, maybe you had a point.

"lo siento hijo. how about when we get home i teach you a bicycle kick?" "sí sí sí!" "no alexia! he will break his neck!"

[needmorekimch1]

That comment about webcomics at the end was like an isekai truck hitting an open wound. But for real though everything about zines here is plain to see if you pay attention to the culture surrounding this topic, and similar patterns happening in other similar mediums.

Webcomics used to (and still technically do) have zero barrier to entry to draw one at any level of artistry, but you did have to code your own simple site which took some basic coding skills. But with the rise of artist centered websites, you could upload them to an online artist community like dA, or free comics platforms like Smackjeeves or Comic fury or etc.

But deviantArt got sold and redesigned and fell out of wider relevancy, and the social media platforms we all migrated to were divided and not designed to actually get your comics onto relevant eyeballs.

Meanwhile Smackjeeves and other free comics platforms were driven out of the cultural consciousness by heavily commercialized platforms like Tapastic and Webtoons. (There are still some older ones around like Comic Fury!! Please go give their patreon your support!)

Now you can still put your webcomics on these newer sites for free, but smaller comics will be completely overshadowed by commercially-driven and standardized-formatted comics with relatively high quality with fast release schedules. Obviously they're all still "webcomics" but since the takeover by webtoons and tapas in the webcomics sphere of influence, I keep seeing/hearing artists say they don't know if they want to make webcomics cause they can't compete in the attention economy and subsequently can't make a living off of their works. (Also a personal gripe about these newer platforms, the artists are incentivized to make their comics formatted to be legible on phones??? because the phone apps are fostering an audience of readers that want to read comics on their phones?? The smartphone economy is wack.) The creativity of artists is stifled and molded to fit these new standards that make them more digestible for a very specific style of marketing. And artists are discouraged from thinking of webcomics as just another medium to

And arguably even the people reading the comics suffer, because the artist is being pressured by these sites to work themselves to the bone to produce comics at a high rate, the quality of the webcomics ALWAYS begins to suffer as time goes on, and some webcomics even start to gate off access to later updates behind a paywall. This is how commodification works.

Everybody suffers from the medium leaning more and more into becoming a commodified "product with the highest quality" and subsequently higher price point.

Smaller niche mediums always came into existence out of necessity and desire to exist in any way they can. The more we slip away from those roots that made it a desirable concept in the first place (affordable and accessible and easy-to-make) the more the term itself is diluted and the faster it drives itself to irrelevancy, until the concept itself vanishes from everybody's mind and subsequently we ALL lose access to a medium that used to be widely available.

Don't do that to zines, don't forget it's roots. Something like those simple instructions to make an 8 page zine out of a sheet of paper is how you keep a medium alive and well for all future generations of inspired youths. Not by gatekeeping OR diluting the term with semantics, but by never forgetting the word and it's roots and history.

It's the same for ttrpgs that can be played with pencil and paper, it's the same for passion-driven indie games on itch.io, and it's the same for ao3 fanfictions and the like, and you can go on and on with the examples. Don't get it twisted.

the whole point of a zine is that it's cheap to produce, amateur and homemade. if you're being asked to apply to participate in a print project, it is not a zine. if the final product is being printed and bound professionally, it is not a zine. if you are being asked to enter into any kind of licensing agreement more complex than "my work can be reproduced as part of this publication" it is not a zine. nine times put of ten if the final product costs more than $5 you have left zine country. im so serious about this.

[itneverendshere]

need your confession - brother bsf! rafe

pairing: kelce's sister x hockey!rafe warnings: smut <3

part of this universe

It was the biggest game of the season so far—your university’s team against their biggest rivals.

You, however, were sitting on the bleachers, arms crossed, wrapped in your thickest winter jacket, trying to not to shiver like a little bitch, your legs pratically fusing to the metal. Next to you, Kie had a bucket of popcorn balanced on her lap, one boot casually propped against the row in front of you like she wasn’t on the verge of hypothermia too.

“Tell me again why we’re here when we could be literally anywhere else?” she asked, tossing a kernel into her mouth.

You exhaled sharply, your breath visible in the freezing air, eyes locked on the opposing team’s bench. “Kelce.”

You’d never missed a game in your life, the stupid sport had somehow made it’s way into your heart. It was practically coded into your DNA after a lifetime of being dragged to them, of screaming at refs, of celebrating wins and mourning losses. Although today you were more than tempted to do so, but you came, just to prove—to no one in particular—that you weren’t a coward.

Out there, somewhere in that sea of helmets and shoulder pads, was your biggest one-night-stand mistake. You were less than excited to see him skate across the ice.

Kie followed your gaze, pausing mid-chew. “Oh. Oh.” She swallowed. “You didn’t tell me he was on their team.”

“Because I was trying to block it out,” you muttered through gritted teeth.

There he was, stretching like he was God’s gift to hockey, that same smug smirk on his face that made you want to throw up in your mouth a little. The same guy you made the mistake of hooking up with last summer, back when you were blissfully unaware he was a complete waste of oxygen. Before you knew he played rough on and off the ice, throwing cheap shots at your brother, running his mouth, and generally acting like a walking red flag with skates.

“You have the worst taste in men,” Kie whispered dramatically, shaking her head.

“I was young and dumb,” you defended. “And drunk. Mostly drunk.”

“Still. You hooked up with a guy Kelce would literally throw himself into a fire to destroy. I’m surprised the universe hasn’t imploded.”

You groaned, sinking deeper into your jacket. 

Five minutes later you were gripping the railing, heart thudding as the teams lined up for the puck drop. The second your brother skated out, you tensed. Because you knew that motherfucker was going to say something.

And sure enough, after the first few plays, you saw him slide up beside Kelce during a pause in the game. His head tilted, mouth moving. Oh fuck no.

Kelce straightened up, grip tightening on his stick.

“Oh, shit,” Kie muttered, leaning forward. “Is he—?”

You braced yourself, waiting for your brother to lose it—waiting for him to drop his gloves and snap.

But before he could react, Rafe did.

One second, your brother looked ready to commit a felony, and the next, Rafe skated between them, shoving your biggest mistake back with his stick. Not hard, but enough to make a point. Enough to say, not fucking happening.

You blinked.

“What the fuck?” Kie breathed. “Did he just—?”

“Shut up, I’m trying to understand it too.”

Your brother shot Rafe a look, something between confused and annoyed, but Rafe ignored it, leaning in to say something low enough that even the refs weren’t paying attention. You couldn’t see his face, but whatever he said made the other guy’s smirk falter.

That did things to you.

The second the puck dropped, Rafe dropped him.

You hardly saw it happen. One moment, your biggest mistake was skating forward, and the next—bam. Rafe’s fist connected with his face so fast you almost missed it.

Kie sucked in a breath beside you. “Shit.”

You shot up from your seat, eyes still wide, watching as the guy hit the ice like a sack of bricks. Flat on his back, motionless for a second, before he started to stir.

Rafe just stood over him, still gripping the front of his jersey, still looking for a reason to throw another punch. His helmet was tilted back slightly, visor pushed up just enough to reveal that look—that look—the one that usually meant someone was about to get their ass beat.

The refs were already swarming, whistles blaring, but Rafe wasn’t moving.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you hissed, gripping the railing.

Kie was still frozen. “That was—wow. That was—”

“Unhinged?”

“Hot,” she finished.

You whipped your head toward her. “What?”

She raised her hands. “Unhinged, sure, but also—”

You groaned, eyes snapping back to the ice just in time to see the refs finally pry Rafe off the guy, shoving him toward the penalty box. He went willingly, shaking his hand out like his knuckles didn’t ache from the impact, that same fucking smirk plastered on his face as he skated off.

Then, because he was an asshole, he looked right at you. Through the glass, through the crowd—right into your fucking soul.

And winked.

You felt your entire body heat up, which pissed you off because fuck Rafe Cameron. Fuck his stupid protective streak. Fuck his broad shoulders and that stupid confident smirk and— You were sitting way too fucking close to the penalty box.

Close enough that when he stepped inside, he barely had to turn his head to see you.

You were still gripping the railing, eyes narrowed.

Rafe sat down, leaned back, then tipped his head toward you—he was expecting a thank-you.

You scowled. “Are you insane?”

It didn’t even matter that Rafe Cameron was built like a linebacker or that he had at least five inches on you. You were prepared to climb his ass like a tree just to wring his stupid, smug neck.

He smirked, rolling his shoulders like knocking someone out was just another Tuesday for him.

“I mean, I’ve been told,” he said, voice muffled through the glass, “but you're welcome, princess.”

Your mouth actually dropped open.

Kie choked on a laugh beside you.

“You—you think I’m gonna thank you?” you seethed, standing up so fast the people behind you flinched in their seats. “You just got benched for ten minutes.”

Rafe shrugged, running a hand over his chin like he wasn’t even listening to you. “Worth it.”

You nearly groaned at how good he looked with his helmet off, cheeks flushed from the cold, blue eyes sharper than usual. 

“You can’t do that.

“Can’t protect my girlfriend’s reputation?”

“Stop calling me that,” you hissed, wishing there wasn’t a glass stopping you from punching his face.

“What? I thought we were still doin' that.”

“We were never doing that.”

“We definitely were,” he countered, tilting his head. “Y'were all over me last week, princess.”

“Stop it.”

“Habit,” he said, so fucking nonchalant.

“Drop it.”

“Can’t.” He grinned, giddy, like this was his favorite thing in the world. “Kinda like it.”

Your eye twitched.

You exhaled sharply, pressing your fingers to your temples. “You are so—”

“Charming? Handsome? Heroic?”

Kie wheezed.

“You volunteered to be my fake boyfriend.”

Okay so you were lying through your teeth now.

“You begged,” he corrected, like the little shit he was. “Practically threw yourself at me.”

Kie was actually crying.

You clenched your jaw so tight your teeth hurt. “I asked you one time to pretend to be my boyfriend because some guy wouldn’t take a hint.”

“And I did an amazing job,” Rafe said, nodding like he deserved a fucking trophy.

“You got into a pissing contest with him,” you deadpanned.

His grin widened. “And he backed off, didn’t he?”

You made a sound so aggressive that Kie clamped a hand over her mouth.

Kie nudged you. “You’re staring.”

“I’m glaring,” you corrected.

You made a deeply frustrated noise, something that probably wasn’t human, something that just encouraged him further. Rafe looked so fucking smug, he knew exactly what he was doing to you, like he thrived off it.

The ref skated over then, tapping the glass with the butt of his stick. “Cameron, quit flirting and focus.”

“Yes, sir,” he said, tapping his stick against the glass once before turning back to the ice, still grinning.

You slumped into your seat, suddenly exhausted.

 “So, when’s the wedding?”

Later, at the victory party, you were still ignoring him, not that it was stopping him.

Rafe had been glued to your side all night, trailing after you like a fucking golden retriever, hands always on you—guiding you through the crowd, resting on your waist, fingers slipping under the hem of your jacket just because he could.

And you—you were trying so fucking hard to stay mad. To hold onto your annoyance, to remind yourself that you didn’t ask him to knock a guy out in front of thousands of people just because he ran his mouth.

But he was making it impossible. Especially now, when he slid up behind you, arms sneaking around your waist, voice warm against your ear. “Still mad at me, girlfriend?”

You stiffened, but he just laughed, squeezing your sides before you could pull away. “Thought you’d be a little more appreciative. Y’know, considering I defended your honor.”

You turned in his arms, narrowing your eyes. “We are not together.”

His hands slid lower, settling on your hips, fingers pressing just enough to make you shiver. “Mhm. Keep telling yourself that.”

Fuck, he was so fine, disgustingly fine. The kind of fine that made you want to throw something at him just so you wouldn’t have to deal with the fact that your body loved being near his.

You scowled.

Rafe just smiled. “Y’look real pretty tonight, by the way.”

You rolled your eyes so hard you damn near saw your past life. “Shut up.”

Rafe just grinned, fingers flexing against your hips like he had any fucking right. You smacked his hands, stepping back, but he just reeled you back in like a fish caught on his line.

“You are so annoying,” you hissed, trying to peel his hands off you like they were stuck with super glue. “Let me go.”

“Nah,” Rafe said, cocky as ever, grip tightening just to piss you off. “I kinda like it here.”

You made an indignant noise, smacking his chest this time, but that only made him chuckle. You wanted to scream, maybe—kiss him a little, which was exactly why you needed to stay the fuck away.

Some girl passing by stopped, looking between you two with a dreamy little smile. “Oh my God, you guys are so cute together.”

Rafe beamed, like he’d just won a fucking award. “Right?”

“No,” you snapped, shoving at his arms. “Don’t encourage him.”

The girl just giggled and walked off, and you were left fuming while Rafe watched, amused.

“You’re still enjoying this way too much,” you accused, crossing your arms.

“‘Cause it’s fun, princess,” he teased, hands still resting on your waist, like they fucking belonged there. “Y’get all riled up. It’s cute.”

Your throat hurt in a way that had you wanting to actually fight God.

“I’m about to get real uncute if you don’t back up.”

Rafe smirked, ducking his head like he had a secret to tell. “You sure?” His voice was low, sweet like he thought he could charm you.

You shoved at his chest hard, and he finally let go, but not without laughing to himself like this whole thing was so fucking funny.

“Go bother someone else, Rafe.”

“But you’re my favorite,” he shot back way too fast, and you hated that your stomach flipped like a damn pancake.

Your jaw dropped. You smacked his arm so fast he actually flinched.

“Don’t start,” you warned, but Rafe lived to start shit.

“Not my fault you like it,” he muttered, just loud enough for you to hear.

Your eyes narrowed into dangerous little slits. “I don’t like it.”

Rafe just raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Mhm.”

You scowled, about to curse him out properly, but before you could, his fingers brushed your waist again—light, teasing, just enough to make your breath hitch. 

You slapped his hand away so fast it echoed.

“Stop.”

Rafe grinned, like your suffering was his favorite form of entertainment.

“What? ‘S not my fault you’re so touchable.”

You gasped, actually gasped, because what the fuck kind of line—

“If you don’t stop this shit—”

“What?” He leaned in, voice low, too close, like he wanted you to feel the words. “You gonna hit me? Y’know I like it rough.”

You nearly malfunctioned, body glitching, brain buffering, eyes blinking at him like he had lost his goddamn mind.

“Don’t—” You inhaled so sharply your lungs burned. “Don’t ever say that shit to me again.”

Before you could even form a proper death threat, his hand curled around your wrist, just enough to stop you. To still you.

Jesus Christ, his hands were warm.

Big and solid and warm, even in this freezing-ass party house, even with the cheap beer and half-melted ice lining the countertops. His fingers pressed lightly into the inside of your wrist, just above where your pulse was doing its best impression of a goddamn hockey buzzer.

His other hand found your waist again.

Your breath hitched and you hated that he noticed.

“Knew you liked me, princess.”

“You’re delusional,” you snapped, jerking your hand back, but he just tsked, his grip firm but easy, he knew you weren’t actually trying.

He pulled you closer. Just an inch, enough to make you feel him.

His voice dropped lower. “Y’know,” he murmured, lips just brushing your ear, “You sure let me touch you a lot.”

Your spine snapped straight.

“I don’t,” you gritted out.

His fingers flexed on your waist. “No?”

“No.”

“Then stop me.”

Oh, you wanted to, you should have.

But you hesitated for just a second too long, because he was too close. Too solid. Too much of everything you swore you didn’t want, but now, right now, standing in the middle of a party where nothing else existed but him—

You didn’t move.

And Rafe knew it.

His smirk turned slow, lazy, and then—oh, you bastard—he tipped his chin down, catching your gaze with his like he dared you to look away.

You couldn’t.

Your pulse was a war drum against your ribs, your breath caught somewhere between a gasp and a growl, because he was going to do it.

He was going to—

His lips came down against yours, no hesitation. No teasing. He’d been waiting for this, he knew you had, too.

You didn’t have time to process before his tongue swept past your lips, and—fuck—your knees almost buckled.

Because Rafe Cameron kissed like he did everything else.

His fingers tightened on your waist, pulling you flush against him, this wasn’t enough. His other hand cradled the side of your face, tilting your head up so he could kiss you deeper, pressing and taking like he already knew you’d let him. He knew exactly where to touch, how to hold you so you wouldn’t dare pull away.

Then— oh —his tongue swiped against your bottom lip, slow, before slipping past, deepening the kiss like he was starving for it.

Your whole body reacted.

It shot straight down your spine, pooling low in your stomach, Rafe wasn’t giving you a second to think—his lips moved against yours in that filthy rhythm, his tongue teasing, stroking against yours, coaxing a sound from your throat that you hadn’t meant to make.

That did something to him.

His hands tightened, one splaying across the small of your back, pressing you flush against him, the other sliding up to your neck, angling your head just how he wanted—deeper, messier.

And, God help you, you let him.

Because fuck, he kissed so good.

Rafe groaned into your mouth, the sound needy. His teeth scraped lightly against your bottom lip, biting just enough to make you gasp, and he took advantage—kissing you deeper, he wanted that little sound, he’d do whatever it took to pull more from you.

His fingers sliding down—tracing the curve of your ribs, teasing the edge of your top like he was thinking about pulling it off right here.

Then he changed the rhythm, slowing down, torturously. His tongue tangled with yours in a slow tease; he wanted to make you feel every second of it, he knew exactly what he was doing to you.

He kissed like he was made for it.

Rafe tilted his head, lips dragging along your jaw, down to your neck, where he bit, hard enough to make your breath hitch.

“Knew you'd let me.”

Your chest heaved, your whole body felt wrecked, and he hadn’t even really touched you yet. You should have slapped him, pushed him away.

Instead, you wanted more.

So you rose onto your tiptoes, pressing your chest against his, searching for friction—and shit, Rafe felt it. His entire body shuddered, his breath stuttering as he realized—no bra. Just you, warm, your nipples pebbled from the cold, pressing right against his chest through your flimsy top.

Rafe groaned into your mouth—wrecked. His grip on your waist nearly dropped for the shock.

Your hands slid up, nails scraping hard against the back of his neck, tangling in his hair, tugging—and fuck, that sent him feral.

He swallowed your gasp, mouth slanting over yours, tongue slipping inside—hot and wet. His tongue teased, then took, deep and demanding, like he owned you.

He pulled back just enough to spit—hot and slick—right into your tongue, eyes burning as he murmured, “Take it.”

And you did, you fucking did.

Because you were gone—ruined—nothing but the overwhelming need to feel him everywhere.

Rafe groaned, like he couldn’t believe you just let him do that, then devoured you again, tongue licking into your mouth like he wanted to live there.

His hands wandered, slipping under your top, tracing up your bare sides, thumbs barely brushing the underside of your tits—so close but not enough, teasing just to drive himself insane.

“Fuck,” he breathed against your lips, voice ragged. His forehead pressed against yours, hands still gripping you tight,. “Gonna be the fuckin' death of me.”

And God help you, you wanted to finish the job in the middle of this hallway.

His forehead was still pressed to yours, his breaths coming hot against your spit-slick lips.

You were so close, your chests heaving together, and just to be a brat, you rolled your hips just a little.

Rafe let out a guttural groan, his hands flying down to grab your ass, yanking you against him so hard you swore you felt his pulse everywhere.

“Jesus fuckin' Christ,” he groaned, mouth dropping open against your throat.

His forehead pressed to your shoulder, his entire body shuddering as his thumbs finally, finally swiped over your nipples, dragging over the soft, sensitive skin.

“You tryin' to make me lose my shit?”

“Maybe.”

Rafe moved, backing you up until your spine hit the wall, one knee pushing between your legs, parting them like he had every fucking right. 

His tongue was relentless, fucking into your mouth in deep, filthy strokes, like he wanted you to choke on it, wanted you messy. His spit dribbled from the corner of your lips as you kissed him back just as desperately.

Your nails dug into his broad shoulders, hard enough to leave marks, and fuck, Rafe loved it. He groaned into your mouth, hips grinding against yours, chasing the friction like a man starved.

“Y'like teasing me, huh?” he panted, dragging his mouth down your jaw, nipping at your pulse, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. His voice was strained. "Makin' me wanna fuck you stupid?”

You whimpered.

That was all he needed.

His hands yanked your hips closer, grinding you against his thigh, right there, and fuck, you felt everything—felt how hard he was, how badly he wanted you.

You wanted him just as bad.

“Rafe—” you gasped, head tilting back against the wall, body burning.

He grinned against your throat, smug and dark. “There’s my girl.”

You whined, nails scraping against the back of his neck, and Rafe swore.

“Gonna fuckin' kill me,” he growled, his teeth nipping at your collarbone, his hands now fully cupping your tits, squeezing like he needed to feel every inch of you.

Your hips rocked against him, your body completely shameless, seeking out every bit of friction you could get. The slick between your thighs was unbearable, and his thigh between your legs was making it so much worse.

“Fuck, Rafe,” you groaned, and that did it. That fucking did it.

His hand snapped to your jaw, forcing your head back so he could drown you in another filthy kiss. His tongue pushed into your mouth, dominating, possessive, his spit mixing with yours until it was dripping down your chin.

He loved it—loved you like this, breathless, wrecked, nails digging into his back, chest pressing flush against his like you were trying to fuse your body to his.

Rafe wasn’t even thinking anymore, his hips rutted against yours, his hands gripping your ass like he wanted to leave bruises, like he needed you to feel him tomorrow.

He broke the kiss, just enough to look at you, and fuck, he’d never seen anything hotter—lips swollen, spit everywhere, your breath all shaky and uneven.

“Look at you,” he rasped, his forehead pressing against yours, his fingers slipping lower, teasing. “So fuckin’ pretty.”

His thigh flexed between your legs, and you gasped, body jolting, the friction was too good, too much, and Rafe fucking felt it. His smirk was nothing short of wicked as he did it again, pressing you harder against the wall, grinding his leg up into you.

“That feel good, baby?” 

You could barely get the word out. “Y-Yeah.”

“Yeah?” He kissed you again, this time slower, his tongue licking into your mouth in long, lazy strokes, he had all the time in the world to ruin you. One of his hands slid up, fingers wrapping around your throat—not squeezing, just resting there, holding you in place.

Your pulse hammered against his palm. Rafe felt it. He fucking loved it.

“So fucking needy,” he murmured, his thumb tracing over your jaw, his other hand still gripping your waist, still rocking you against his thigh. His knee nudged up higher, pressing right where you needed him most, and your fingers tightened in his shirt.

“Rafe—”

He grinned against your lips. “That’s it, baby.”

Your brain was dead, but somewhere in the mess of it all, one clear thought hit you—

Of course he was the type of guy to talk you through it.

Of course, Rafe fucking Cameron would be the kind of guy who couldn’t just let you fall apart on your own. No, he had to be right there, dragging you through it, forcing you to hear every filthy, possessive word dripping from his lips.

The pressure between your legs was building, tight in your tummy, and you didn’t care that you were still in a fucking hallway, that anyone could walk by. You were too lost in him.

Rafe must’ve seen it on your face because his smirk faded. His fingers tightened just a little around your throat, his thigh flexing again, and fuck—

You whimpered, your hips rolling against him, chasing more, more, more.

Rafe groaned, his forehead pressing to yours, his lips brushing yours as he panted.

“God, fuckin' love you like this,” he muttered.

Just to wreck you further, he tilted your chin up, forcing your gaze to meet his, his blue eyes dark.

“You’re shakin',” His tone was smug, satisfied, “You gonna cum for me, princess?” His voice was pure sin. “Just like this?”

You gasped, pleasure sparking like electricity through your veins, and Rafe smirked—because he already knew the answer.

His grip on your throat tightened, not enough to hurt, just enough to make your breath hitch, to make you dizzy with it.

“Fuck, you’re close, aren’t ya?” he murmured, voice rough, teasing, eating up the way you moaned against his mouth. “So fuckin' desperate for me you’re about to come like this—rubbin' yourself on my thigh like a needy little thing.”

You should’ve been embarrassed, should’ve cared that you were still standing in a fucking hallway, grinding against him like you’d lost every ounce of dignity.

“Tell me, princess,” he growled, his thigh flexing between your legs, making you bite your lip. “Did that motherfucker ever make y'feel like this?”

You didn’t regist the words at first, but then you realized Rafe wasn’t just asking—he needed to hear it. 

Your breath hitched, nails digging into his shoulders. “No,” you gasped, shaking your head. “Never—fuck—never like this.”

That was all he needed.

His grip tightened, his hands sliding down to grab your ass, dragging you against him harder, rougher, making you moan into his mouth. 

“Didn’t fuckin' think so,” he muttered, his teeth grazing your jaw, “That’s my pretty girl,” he coaxed, his lips still dragging down your throat.

Your body tensed, thights closing around his.You gasped, back arching against the wall, fingers pulling at his shirt.

Your breath came in desperate, uneven gasps.

He couldn’t just let you have it.

No, Rafe fucking Cameron had to drag it out—had to make sure you felt every last second of it, had to talk you through it like he got off on watching you break.

“That’s it, baby,” he rasped, his grip on your hips bruising as he forced you to keep moving against him, his thigh flexing up to meet you with every devastating grind. “Don’t fucking stop now.”

You whimpered, your entire body on the verge of collapse, pleasure building so deep that it almost hurt.

His fingers slipped under your jaw, tilting your face up, forcing you to look at him, to see the way his blue eyes were blown with want.

“That’s it,” he murmured as a wrecked sound ripped from your throat, your body arching against his, because fuck, fuck, fuck—you were still right there.

Your breath hitched, your legs trembled, your mind blanking.

“Oh, fuck—” he groaned, feeling you shake apart in his hands, eating gup every twitch, every little gasp. His lips pressing against your cheek, murmuring filthy, wrecked praises against your skin.

“That’s my girl,” he muttered, his voice thick with pride,  “Look at you.”

Your body was still buzzing, your breath coming in uneven gasps, your legs shaking where they were wrapped around Rafe’s waist. His forehead still pressed against yours when your phone rang.

The shrill sound cut through the post orgasm haze in your brain like a bucket of freezing water to the face, bringing you to the absolute insanity of what had just happened.

Oh, fuck.

Rafe groaned, annoyed, pressing his lips to yours again, not ready to let you go. “Ignore it,” he muttered, “They’ll call back.”

But then you saw the name on the screen.

Kie.

Your stomach dropped.

“Shit,” you whispered, your hands immediately shoving at Rafe’s shoulders, wiggling out of his grip. He hesitated for half a second before letting you down, his brows furrowing at how suddenly you pulled away.

Your legs barely worked, body was still tingling from the way he had just ruined you, but you forced yourself to stumble back, pressing the phone to your ear.

“Kie?”

“Thank God,” her voice came rushed, stressed. “It’s—fuck, it’s Liv. She got rookied.”

Rookied.

You knew what that meant. Some asshole upperclassmen had put her through some fucked-up hazing bullshit, and now she was probably wasted, crying, or worse.

“I’m coming,” you said instantly, already running a hand through your hair, trying to make yourself look less like you’d just been getting wrecked in a hallway.

Rafe was watching you.

You could feel his eyes on you, his body still so close, his hands still flexing at his sides like he wanted to grab you, pull you back in.

But you couldn’t think about that.

Holy shit.

Your childhood friend, your brother’s best friend, the guy you had a crush on when you were twelve.

You had just grinded on Rafe Cameron like a desperate whore and fucking came on his thigh in the middle of a goddamn hallway.

You felt your face go hot, embarrassment sinking in like a slow-moving poison, drowning out the last bit of euphoria still clinging to your skin.

Rafe stepped closer, his brows drawing together, picking up on your demeanor.

“You okay?” His voice was still rough, breathless.

You swallowed hard, shoving your phone into your pocket. “I—I have to go.”

His frown deepened. “What? Now?”

You nodded, your hands shaking as you avoided his eyes, you couldn’t look at him.

“I have to take Liv home,” you rushed out, already stepping away, trying to put distance between you and the biggest mistake of your life.

Rafe’s jaw clenched. “Need help?”

His voice was genuine, and for some reason, that made your stomach twist even more.

“No,” you said shaking your head. “I—I got it.”

His eyes searched yours, you knew exactly what he was looking for—regret.

You didn’t say another word. You just turned and walked away, ignoring the way your legs still trembled, ignoring the way your lips still tingled from his kiss, ignoring the way your heart slammed against your ribs because holy shit, what the fuck did you just do?

[bytemee]

crying on stream (not clickbait) — yu jimin.

synopsis. you really need to stop playing random horrors at 2 am.

pairing. karina x gn!streamer!reader

warning(s). reader cries at a horror game, emotional support gf karina, this is so silly and sweet, let me know if there's more

words. 639

authors note. 1/2 drafts im posting tn before all the freaky stuff and angst floods my page. this is also based off this tiktok i saw

masterlist. navigation.

you had no idea why you thought playing a horror game at 2 a.m. was a good idea—especially with karina asleep in the next room. but here you were, curled up in your chair, gripping your keyboard like your life depended on it. your chat was loving every second, spamming laughing emojis and "you're so cooked" messages.

then, it happened.

the door behind your character slammed shut. the screen flickered. a deep, guttural noise rumbled through your headphones.

you froze. your breath caught in your throat, hands hovering over the controls, but you could not bring yourself to move.

"no, no, no, no, no..." you whispered, barely making a sound.

username LMAOOO YOU'RE SO DONE username WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING HELLO?? username NAH THIS IS BAD 😂

your fingers twitched over the keys, but before you could even think about getting out—

the screen went completely black.

your headphones crackled. a distorted whisper slithered through the speakers, low and scratchy, like something breathing right into your ear. then, for half a second, the lights in the game flickered back on—

the killer was right behind you.

you slammed the pause button.

your whole body locked up, muscles so tight it felt like you might pass out. chat was going insane, but their messages barely registered.

you couldn't scream. not with karina asleep. you couldn't even let out a proper gasp.

instead, a quiet sob slipped out before you could stop it.

you pressed a hand over your mouth, shoulders shaking as you tried to breathe. tears welled up, but you blinked fast, trying to keep yourself together.

username ARE YOU CRYING BRO?? username NAH THIS GAME REALLY BROKE THEM username this is so sad but funny at the same time 😭😭😭

after a few deep breaths, you forced yourself to unpause.

you needed to get out.

with shaky hands, you turned the lights back on, unlocked the door, and ran. the second you stepped out of that room, you ripped your hands off the keyboard, dropping them into your lap as a deep exhale left you. a few stray tears slipped down your face, and you wiped them away, sniffling.

"oh my god," you muttered, still feeling the adrenaline in your veins.

then—

a tap on your shoulder.

you screamed.

the fear you'd been barely holding in came crashing down all at once. you flinched so hard your chair almost tipped over, another choked sob slipping out as you panicked.

your chat lost their minds.

username HELPPPP username THAT WAS NOT THE GAME?? username DID Y'ALL SEE THEIR SOUL LEAVE THEIR BODY username I THINK THEY JUST DIED IRL

then came the worst part—a soft, familiar laugh.

your head snapped to the side, eyes wide as you saw karina standing there, looking impossibly amused despite being fresh out of sleep. dress in your an oversized hoodie, her hair a little messy, she smiled at you before shaking her head.

"you're so dramatic," she whispered, barely containing her giggles.

you didn't even have the energy to argue. Without thinking, you reached for her, pulling her into a hug off-camera. she easily melted into you, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and resting her chin on your head.

username WHO IS THAT???? 😳

username WE CAN SEE THE SHADOW WTF username THE WAY THEY JUST WENT SILENT TO HUG THE AIR LIKE BFFR

karina ran her hand up and down your back, pressing a soft kiss to your temple before whispering, "you okay?"

you nodded against her shoulder. "i hate this game."

she snorted. "then stop playing horror games at night, hm?"

you sniffled. "never."

she sighed, but she didn't let go. for a while, you just stayed there—holding onto her, ignoring chat's growing curiosity, letting your heartbeat finally slow down. eventually, she whispered, "wanna sleep now?"

you exhaled. "yeah."

with a final squeeze, she pulled back and grabbed your hand, and you turned back to your stream, rubbing your eyes before clearing your throat.

"alright, chat," you muttered, voice still wobbly. "i'm ending stream. i need therapy."

the last thing chat saw before you disconnected was your teary eyes, ruffled hair, and hand out of frame, fingers curled like you were holding onto something—someone.

then, you were gone.

[wcnderlnds]

love dust | kwon ji-yong (g dragon)

・❥・summary: jiyong has been your closest friend for many years but what he doesn't know is you like him a lot more than that. ・❥・word count: 1.4k ・❥・warnings: none! ・❥・authors note: first time writing for gd so go easy on me <3

“You should let me borrow this one when you’re finished with it.” Your delicate fingers played around with the rings decorating Jiyong’s hands. His accessory game was always on point — you were always asking if you could borrow the things he wore and he would always very happily oblige. Something about seeing you in the things he wore made him feel things he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

His arm was wrapped around your shoulders as the two of you laid out on the couch in his dressing room, legs stretched out. Jiyong's other hand lay on his stomach where you were playing around with his fingers. It was soothing, putting him in a calm frame of mind before he had to go out and perform later in the day. Nobody could calm him better than you. He gently rested his head on top of yours, squeezing his eyes shut as he laughed softly.

“I should start charging you for the amount of things you take from me,” he joked.

“You’d double your fortune at this rate,” you grinned over at him, tilting your head. “Not my fault you always have the best stuff. Stop being such a style icon and I wouldn’t have to.”

A comfortable silence settled between the two of you. Jiyong’s fingers playing with a strand of your hair, soaking in the quiet. It had always been like this with you. Jiyong was your closest friend — you’d known him before he’d even debuted. Every step of the way you had been by his side. Nobody knew him better than you and vice versa. He had been there at your lowest, you had been there at his. There wasn’t anything you hadn’t experienced together. It was easy to say that without each other, neither of you would be the person you were. It wasn’t often in life people found someone they connected with so easily, so deeply which is why Jiyong could never know how you really felt about him.

Over the last couple of years, your feelings for him had shifted. At first you’d brushed it off as just a crush, a silly little thing that would pass as time went on. Except it didn’t pass. It only got stronger. Every single day it was like a weight on your chest knowing that you could never tell him. Not only would it be humiliating but he definitely wouldn’t feel the same and that would be it. The friendship would be over and he’d be out of your life.

A sigh escaped your lips before you could even realise. Immediately, it caught Jiyong’s attention. His eyes that had been closed now opening to look at you with concern. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me,” you assured him. He looked at you as if he was examining you, trying to figure out if you were lying to him but as he opened his mouth to speak, the door to the room opened.

Daesung and Youngbae walked in, laughing at something. Their eyes caught the position the two of you were in, mischievous grins slowly creeping onto their faces. Oh no. You know what was coming next. It had been like this for years now. They’d catch you and Jiyong cuddling or being close to each other and never let either of you live it down.

“Did we interrupt something?” Daesung raised a brow. Jiyong rolled his eyes, sitting up with you and giving his friend the middle finger.

“I think we did. You know, next time put a sock on the door or something so we know you’re busy,” Youngbae teased. Your cheeks flushed red as you hid your face in your hands. This only caused the two men to laugh.

Jiyong got to his feet, holding his hand out to help you to yours. “You two are a pain in my ass.” He turned to you, his hand lingering on yours for a beat longer than normal. “I need to go get ready but I’ll see you after the show? We can go get food or something.”

You simply nodded your head, waving goodbye as he and Youngbae left the room. Daesung remained behind, looking at you with a soft smile. “You should tell him, you know.”

“Huh?”

“You should tell Jiyong how you feel.”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” you said, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks. How had Daesung even figured it out? He really was more attentive than you gave him credit for.

“Sure but I’m just saying, I think you’d be pleasantly surprised if you told him,” Daesung shot a wink your way, running out of the room to meet up with his friends.

Now, what the hell did that mean?

——

The show had gone amazing. It was like Jiyong had never been gone. Each show he performed he got more and more confident, G Dragon coming out in full force. Honestly, seeing him on stage and fully embracing his G Dragon person was hot as hell. Nobody did it like him. He was the king of K Pop for a reason.

You had slid away to the dressing room as the show ended, giving the three boys time to thank the crew. It was Taeyang’s tour but you knew how much all of them appreciated the people who helped them. It was one of the most endearing qualities — it’s what made them some of the most loved boys in the industry.

The door to the room opened and in came Jiyong. He hand a towel in his hand, dabbing at the sweat on his face. The second he laid eyes on you, he smiled. His heartbeat speeding up everytime he looked at you. He had it bad. So damn bad.

“You did so good out there!” You beamed, throwing your arms around him in a hug. Without hesitation, he dropped the towel, wrapping his arms around you. If he could keep you this close to him forever, he would. Hopefully you couldn’t feel how hard his heart was beating right now. The best feeling in the world was you waiting for him after a show. It felt like he was on cloud nine knowing that he had the most supportive, loyal and kind person by his side.

He pulled back, only slightly, his hot breath fanning across your face. You couldn’t place the look in his eyes but it cause a shiver to run down your spine. When he spoke, his voice was soft. “Couldn’t do any of it without you.”

Time seemed to stand still as you locked eyes with each other. Was this it? Was this the right moment to tell him how you felt? 

“Jiyong, I….” You started but he cut you off.

“I’m sorry for cutting you off, I need to say something to you and if I don’t do it now, I never will,” he cupped your cheek, taking a deep breath as he found the words that had been on the tip of his tongue for so long now. “I’m crazy about you. I have been for a very long time but you are so important to me that I didn’t want to ruin the friendship. I can’t lie to myself or you anymore. I understand if you don’t feel the same way but I owed it to myself to at least tell you.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you listened to his soft, rushed words. You could tell how nervous he was, how much he wanted to probably run out of the door and pretend he never said anything but he didn’t. He was stood here being brave so you had to be too. “Jiyong, I’m crazy about you, too. You drive me insane. It’s kind of terrifying how much I like you as more than a friend. I just… didn’t think you’d feel the same so I never said anything.”

“What? Are you crazy? Why wouldn’t I feel the same? You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met.”

“You’re biased.”

“Yeah, well,” he grinned one of those signature Jiyong grins. His eyes flickered down to your lips then back to your eyes as if asking for permission. You nodded your head and that was all he needed. He leaned forward, closing the distance to meet your lips. The kiss was gentle, a declaration of his feelings for you without actually giving them words.

It was short and sweet. It was perfect. 

Pulling back, he smiled at you. Seeing you stood there with your flushed cheeks and nervous smile, he felt like he could burst from joy. He was so head over heels for you. “Come on,” he said, linking his fingers with yours. “I believe I promised you some food.”

But before he could pull you off, you wrapped your hand around the back of his neck and pulled him back down to meet your lips. Food could wait for now.

taglist (ask to be added): @ldydeath

[dreaminguponlilypads]

AFTER THE FIRE.

Captain John Price x GN!reader

The night before had been ugly.

Neither of you had meant for it to spiral the way it did—raised voices, sharp words, the kind of fight that left both of you lying awake, staring at opposite walls. Now, in the cold light of morning, Captain John Price acted as if nothing had happened.

And that pissed you off.

You moved through the safehouse, checking your gear, barely sparing him a glance. He did the same, the space between you filled with everything unsaid.

“Move out in five,” Price said, voice clipped. To anyone else, it would just sound like orders. To you, it was distance.

“Copy that,” you replied, equally detached.

This mission should’ve been routine—gather intel from a cartel hideout, sweep the area, get out. You and Price had worked together long enough that your coordination was near flawless. But today, the weight of last night’s argument threw everything off.

His commands over comms were too sharp. Your responses were too short. It felt like trying to dance while stepping on each other’s feet.

Inside the warehouse, the air was thick with dust and tension. You moved ahead, clearing corners, trusting Price at your back. The silence between you was deafening.

Then, you slipped.

Not literally, but just enough—your focus fractured for half a second too long. A hostile lunged from the shadows, shoving you hard against a crate, the muzzle of his rifle too damn close.

A gunshot rang out, and the weight disappeared. You barely had time to react before Price was in front of you, hand gripping your arm, eyes dark with something unreadable.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered, looking you over. “You alright?”

“Fine,” you said, but your pulse was racing for more reasons than just the fight.

Price didn’t let go. His grip was firm, grounding, but there was something else there—concern, frustration. Maybe even regret.

“You’re off your game,” he said lowly.

You tensed. “Yeah, well, so are you.”

Silence stretched between you. The air crackled with everything neither of you had the time to say.

Finally, he exhaled through his nose, releasing your arm. “We’ll talk later.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, glancing at him. “We will.”

And just like that, the mission continued. But something between you had shifted, the ice beginning to thaw.

It wasn’t fixed yet. But it would be.

Hopefully.

The ride back to base was quiet, but not in the peaceful way.

Soap and Gaz were talking up front, but you weren’t listening. Your arms were crossed, your jaw set, and beside you, John was doing that thing he always did after a fight—acting like it never happened.

Like he could just pretend it was all water under the bridge. Like the tension sitting between you wasn’t thicker than the damn armor on your chest.

So, when the truck rolled to a stop, he climbed out first, walked off like nothing was wrong, and left you sitting there, stewing.

Fine.

You took your time unloading your gear, making sure you didn’t accidentally “forget” something and have to hear about it later. By the time you made it to your shared quarters, the door was already cracked open.

You stepped inside and found him sitting on the bed, arms resting on his thighs, watching you with that steady, unreadable expression. The kind that usually meant he was letting you work through your own mess before he stepped in.

You weren’t in the mood for it.

“You got something to say, or are we just gonna keep playing the silent game?” you asked, tilting your head.

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his beard. “You’re still wound up.”

“Wow, what gave it away?”

His lips twitched like he wanted to smile, but he didn’t. “We gonna talk about it?”

“You mean the part where you acted like I was just another soldier all day?” You crossed your arms, stepping closer. “Or the part where you almost got us both killed because you were too busy ignoring me?”

He tilted his head slightly, calm as ever. “Far as I recall, you’re the one who hesitated.”

Your jaw clenched. “Maybe I was too busy thinking about the fact that my husband turned into a damn robot overnight.”

John exhaled slowly, shaking his head. “I wasn’t ignoring you.”

“You sure? Because I spent the whole day wondering if I’d suddenly become invisible.”

“Noticed you just fine when I had to put a bullet in the bloke about to take your head off,” he said evenly.

That hit a nerve.

“You really gonna throw that in my face?” you snapped.

“I’m saying,” he continued, still infuriatingly calm, “that I can be pissed off and still do my job.”

“Oh, so I was just being unprofessional?” You scoffed. “Good to know, Captain.”

John sighed through his nose, standing up slowly. He didn’t get in your space, didn’t try to crowd you, but there was something in the way he looked at you that made your stomach tighten.

“I’m saying you let it fester instead of just talking to me. I’m saying you’re still letting it fester now.”

“Because you act like nothing gets to you!” You threw your hands up. “You just walk off, all quiet and broody, and I’m left stewing in it while you—what? Smoke a cigar and pretend you’re fine?”

John huffed a short laugh, shaking his head. “That what you think I do?”

“That or drink whiskey and stare dramatically out a window.”

“You’re exhausted,” he murmured. “And still lookin’ for a fight.”

“I’m looking for an answer,” you shot back. “Or at least a reaction, but you’re too busy playing it cool.”

John tilted his head slightly, studying you like he was considering something.

Then he moved.

One second, you were glaring at him, the next, his hands were on your face, his mouth on yours, stealing the rest of your words before you could even think to protest.

It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t gentle. It was firm, steady, enough to make you stumble back a step before you caught yourself. His grip was warm, grounding, and when he pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, his smirk was damn near smug.

“That reaction enough for you?” he murmured.

Your breath was uneven, your heart pounding, but you refused to let him win that easily.

“That all you got, old man?” you muttered, just to be difficult.

John chuckled, low and deep, then kissed you again—harder this time, like he was determined to shut you up for good.

[cherrycheolkat]

• random slutty thoughts - seungcheol •

seungcheol is a patient person - he knows you are trying to goad him into doing something and he doesn’t like it

the library is normally seungcheol’s sanctuary - it’s quiet - none of his roommates seem to know it exists - it’s his space

his only problem is you showing up and invading his space

there is literally every other place to sit, but do you sit in one of these other places? no. no, you sit directly across from him

even with a divider, he can hear every little sound you make

all the little sighs and random giggles are one thing, but when your foot bumps his repeatedly - he is sure he’s going to lose his fucking mind because why don’t you seem to know you’re annoying

in fact, he’s certain you’re the least self aware person to exist - personal space, what’s that for you anyway

but this is too much!

he’s had a rough day - back-to-back difficult classes - he’s gotten a snack and he just wants to stare at his computer and play games for like an hour without being bothered

but you are in his seat - you and your hair that smells really good (he had a class with you last semester, even sitting behind you was kind of annoying, but the impossible-to-name scent of your shampoo was something he did actually like)

he thinks of sitting elsewhere - but no, this is personal because you have to know what you’re doing

he approaches, huffy and pouty

he sees your screen and pauses - of course you’re playing the same game, but you still took his seat

when he taps your shoulder, you yelp and look back, face flushed

“what?!” your eyes are huge

he rolls his eyes, “you’re in my seat,” isn’t it obvious, he wants to add

you glance around and seem to realize, “oh - aren’t they all the same?”

he stares in disbelief, “no, they aren’t,” his voice is sharp

you sigh, “okay, princess, have your seat then,” you huff as you get up and collect your things

he doesn’t care for the remark, or the way it sticks in his brain like an earwig because really ‘princess’ was uncalled for

and when he happens to see you out the following night, you actually stop to talk to him

you smile cutely, “so princess, how’s the gameplay for you?”

he glares, he knows you just want to fluster him, “it’s fine,” he says coolly

but you’re not finished, you keep asking him questions - what kind of gameplay does he like - is he part of a guild

it’s only after you leave to get a drink that he realizes how long you’ve been talking to him - he wonders if you’ll come back or not

when you do reappear, you seem to be walking towards him, but you stop when another guy approaches

he decides he should go home anyway and starts to leave, tossing his cup in the bin as he heads for the door

he’s surprised when he feels someone pinch his ass and whips around

you’re standing there, staring, “who said you could leave? we haven’t even swapped game ids,” you pout

“did you just grab my ass?”

you nod, “yeah, it’s just so,” you sigh, “i just want to touch it, okay?”

he flushes slightly, “you have no understanding of personal space,” he tried to sound like he had some high ground to stand on

you laugh, “says the guy who played with my hair when he sat behind me!”

it was like he had been slapped, “that”— “i never!” he fumbled his reply

you are suddenly very close, “yes, you definitely did and i didn’t say anything because i thought it was kind of cute,” your lips brush his cheek

he swallows roughly, his mouth feeling dry

he feels your hand on his, the way you guide his hand between both of your bodies, then lower, he feels your hip, your low stomach - you keep pressing his hand lower, until his hand is between your legs, feeling the thin fabric of your shorts

he glances around quickly, sure that someone will see

“everyone is busy, princess, don’t look so worried,” he feels your hips press closer to his

he knows you absolutely don’t care that you’re surrounded by other people

he reflexively squeezes you, hearing your soft moan close to his ear, “play with me,” you whisper

“here?” he tries to sound confident, not insanely worried

“mhmm,” you hum as you kiss his neck, “make me come,” you whisper before softly nipping at his ear lobe

“can’t we go to the bathroom or something?” he tries again, hoping for a modicum of privacy

you sigh, “you’re such a worrier,” even as you pull away and head for the bathroom

once inside, you pull him close - the heat between you returning quickly

with a door between you and the rest of humanity, he was quick to unbutton your shorts and let them slide down her thighs, he marvels at your barely there panties and how wet they are

he pushes them to the side, working his fingers into you without a thought, and when you’re quiet, he’s almost disappointed

“this is when your quiet?” he needles

you smile and kiss him, “i can be quiet in the library too,” you quip

he’s surprised when you come quickly, he watches your cum dripping down to the bathroom floor - he’s amazed he got you off so well

he plays with your pussy idly, “that’s what i want to see you do in the library, leave a puddle under the desk,” he pushes his fingers back in - he’s sure your pussy basically sucks him in

you grin, “hmm, and here i was imagining sitting under the desk with your cock in my mouth,” you moan softly against his skin

he shrugs, working his fingers deeper, “it’s not like they’re mutually exclusive,” he reasons

you giggle, “fuck, stretch me more, princess - get me ready for your cock,” you mumble

he wonders if this has been your goal all along, but really who is he to question your motivation when you’re so wet and needy

[lunaswicked]

Sweet Talk

Paring: College!Jimmy Uso x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5k

Summary: Two roommates— You and Jimmy—find yourselves caught in a whirlwind of tension, desire, and unspoken feelings. What begins as teasing and frustration between you evolves into a night of unexpected intimacy that blurs the lines between hate and attraction.

Tags: enemies to smutville😫, roommates, 18+, p in v, teasing, dirty talking, 9 incher jimmy uso, dickstressing, AND WHATEVER ELSE, ENJOY😋

You and Jimmy rarely saw eye to eye. It wasn’t that you outright despised each other, but the two of you had a way of constantly butting heads over the smallest things. Maybe it was because you were both stubborn, or maybe it was because neither of you ever backed down from an argument. Either way, there was always a tension between you—one that never seemed to fade no matter how much time passed.  

Both of you were college students, navigating your own paths, yet your lifestyles couldn’t have been more different. You poured yourself into your studies, determined to excel in every class, while Jimmy had an almost single-minded obsession with football—both playing it and watching it. If he wasn’t on the field, he was glued to the screen, yelling at players who couldn’t hear him or analyzing plays with the kind of intensity most people reserved for final exams.  

When he wasn’t fixated on football, he’d be locked in his room, spending hours on whatever video game he and his twin brother, Jey, were obsessed with that month. It was almost impossible to get a word in when he was deep in competition mode, his focus unwavering as he trash-talked through his headset. Sometimes, it felt like college itself was just a background noise in his life, something he did because he had to—not because he cared.  

But despite all of that, you knew Jimmy was smart. In fact, he was one of the smartest people you knew, even if he didn’t always act like it. He had a sharp mind, a quick wit, and an ability to break things down in a way that made even the most complicated subjects seem simple. The problem was, hardly anyone ever got to see that side of him. He didn’t apply himself the way he could have, and more often than not, he played the role of the carefree guy who only lived for football and video games.  

"I'm not going. I got lab tomorrow," you said into your phone, shifting against the pillows as you tucked yourself deeper into bed.  

Bianca groaned dramatically on the other end. "Girl, you always busy! Every time I call, it's the same thing—lab this, assignment that. And don’t even get me started on how you be stuck in that house with Jimmy all the damn time."  

You rolled your eyes, even though she couldn’t see you. "First of all, I am not stuck with Jimmy. We just happen to live in the same space. Not like I have a choice."  

"Uh-huh, sure. And yet, every time I ask you to come out, you got an excuse, and he's always somewhere in the background, being annoying," Bianca shot back. "One day, imma just pull up and kidnap you, no warning."  

You laughed, shaking your head. "And do what? Drag me out in my pajamas? Not happening."  

"Don’t test me. I’ll snatch you right up, bonnet and all," she teased. "Seriously, though. You need a break. When’s the last time you had fun? Like, actual fun. Not school, not arguing with Jimmy—fun."  

You hesitated, chewing on your lip. It had been a while since you let loose, but between school, deadlines, and dealing with Jimmy’s daily antics, going out just felt like another task on your already overflowing to-do list.  

"Exactly," Bianca said, as if she could hear your thoughts through the phone. "Look, just think about it. Even geniuses like you need a night off."  

You sighed, glancing toward your closed bedroom door, where you could still faintly hear Jimmy and Jey shouting at their game. "I’ll think about it."  

"That’s what you said last time," Bianca huffed. "I ain't falling for it again. You better show up, or I will come get you."  

You smiled, shaking your head. "We’ll see, B. We’ll see."  

She let out an exaggerated groan but didn’t push it further. "Fine, but don’t think I’m letting this go. I’ll call you tomorrow, and you better give me a yes."  

"Goodnight, Bianca," you said, smirking.  

"Mmhm, whatever. Goodnight, miss I got lab."  

You hung up, staring at the ceiling with a small smile. Maybe she had a point.

Your stomach let out an impatient grumble, loud enough to make you sigh in frustration. You hadn’t eaten in hours, and at this point, there was only one thing that could fix it—a slice of your favorite vanilla cake with extra whipped cream. The thought alone was enough to get you out of bed, pushing aside your tiredness as you made your way down the hall toward the kitchen.

The house was quieter than usual, with only the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant noise of the TV from the living room. Normally, Jimmy would be in there, glued to whatever game had his attention for the night, but the lack of his usual shouting made you pause. Maybe he had finally gone to bed for once? That would be a miracle.

But as soon as you stepped into the kitchen, that hope vanished.

Standing by the open fridge, fork in hand, was Jimmy—mid-bite, chewing your cake like he didn’t have a single care in the world. Wearing a fitted black shirt with yellow shorts that showed too much thigh.

You stopped dead in your tracks, your brain needing an extra second to process the sheer disrespect of what you were witnessing.

"You gotta to be fucking wit' me," you said, your voice flat.

Jimmy turned his head slowly, fork still in his mouth, his expression completely unbothered. He raised an eyebrow as he chewed, finally swallowing before answering. "What?"

Your arms crossed tightly over your chest as you stared him down. "That was my cake, Jimmy."

He had the nerve to glance down at the plate in his hand, then back up at you with a smirk. "You sure about that?"

You let out an exasperated breath, stepping closer. "Yes, I’m sure. I’ve been thinking about that cake all damn day. It was the last slice!"

Jimmy shrugged, taking another slow, deliberate bite, as if to rub it in. "Was the last slice. Past tense."

Your jaw dropped. "You are actually the worst person I know."

He chuckled, licking a bit of whipped cream off his fork. "Damn. All this over some cake?"

You threw up your hands. "Jimmy, I needed that cake."

"You needed it?" he repeated, clearly amused. "You make it sound like life or death."

"It is!" you shot back. "I’ve had a long day, and all I wanted was to sit down, enjoy my damn cake, and go to bed happy. But noooo, because somebody just had to be greedy."

Jimmy leaned back against the counter, arms crossed, looking entirely too entertained. "Sounds like a you problem. You shoulda got here faster or sum."

"Or you could’ve just not eaten something that wasn’t yours," you snapped.

He shrugged again. "You ain't put yo name on it."

Your eye twitched. "We don’t do that in this house, Jimmy. Because normal people have respect."

Jimmy let out an exaggerated sigh, rolling his eyes as he scooped up a piece of cake with his fork. Slowly, deliberately, he strolled toward you, a smug smirk playing on his lips.  

“Here,” he said, holding the fork out in front of you, the fluffy vanilla cake and whipped cream practically taunting you. “You wanna bite?”  

Your arms folded over your chest, and you scoffed, giving him a sharp glare. “I’d rather die before I eat off of you,” you shot back, your voice dripping with defiance.  

Jimmy chuckled, tilting his head as he took another step closer. “Dramatic much?” he teased.  

You held your ground, eyes locked onto his, but the way he was staring at you—intense, playful, like he was daring you—sent a strange shiver down your spine. 

He took another step, closing the space between you, his free hand lazily slipping into the pocket of his shorts. He was close now, too close. You could smell the faint mix of his cologne and the sweet vanilla lingering on his breath.  

“What’s wrong?” he murmured, voice low, taunting. “Scared you’ll like it?”  

Your stomach tightened, but you forced yourself to scoff again, turning your head to the side. “Please, as if.”  

Jimmy let out a soft chuckle, lifting the fork slightly. “Then prove it.”  

You swallowed, glancing at the fork, then back at him. His eyes held something unreadable—dark amusement, challenge. You could feel your own stubbornness warring with the stupid, undeniable craving in your stomach.  

Your eyes flicked back to the cake, the whipped cream looking way too good to pass up.  

He smirked, sensing your hesitation. “C’mon, I ain't got all night,” he murmured, voice smooth, teasing.  

You clenched your jaw, irritation flaring, but your hunger was stronger than your pride. Damn it.  

With an exasperated sigh, you snatched his wrist, steadying his hand as you leaned in. You hesitated for half a second before finally parting your lips and taking the bite off the fork, your tongue barely brushing against the metal.  

Jimmy stilled.  

Your eyes flicked up to his as you pulled away, chewing slowly, the sweet vanilla and cream melting on your tongue.  

For a moment, neither of you spoke.  

His expression darkened just slightly, his smirk fading into something slower, heavier. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips as he stared at you, watching the way your lips closed around the fork before you finally pulled back.  

Something about the look in his eyes sent a heat crawling up your neck, your stomach twisting in a way that had nothing to do with the cake.  

You swallowed, shifting on your feet. “Happy now?” you muttered.  

Jimmy’s smirk returned, slow and knowing. He tilted his head, his voice dropping an octave.  

“Could’ve just said you wanted a taste,” he murmured.  

Your breath hitched, but you quickly covered it with an eye roll, shoving his wrist away as you stepped back.  

“Shut up, Jimmy.”  

He let out a low chuckle, his smirk never fading as he twirled the fork between his fingers. His eyes stayed locked on yours, dark amusement mixed with something else—something heavier, something that made your pulse tick faster than it should have.  

"You act like you hate me," he murmured, stepping just a fraction closer, his body heat now palpable. "But here you go, eatin' off my fork."  

Your throat felt dry, but you forced yourself to roll your eyes. "I was starving, Jimmy. Don’t flatter yourself."  

He tilted his head slightly, eyes flickering between your lips and your gaze, his smirk deepening. "Mmm, nah. I think you just wanted to see what I taste like."  

Your breath caught, heart slamming against your ribs.  

"You are so full of yourself," you muttered, stepping back, but you barely moved an inch before he closed the gap again, this time with purpose.  

The air shifted—suffocating, electric. You could hear the faint drip of the kitchen sink, the hum of the refrigerator, but it all faded beneath the way Jimmy was watching you. Like he had all the time in the world to unravel you piece by piece.  

"You sure about that?" he murmured, voice low, velvety smooth.  

His free hand brushed against your hip—not fully touching, just ghosting over the fabric of your shorts, enough to send a shiver through you.  

You should have stepped away. Should have said something cutting, something to kill whatever this was. But your body wasn’t listening.  

Jimmy noticed.  

His smirk flickered into something darker, his fingers grazing up your waist, featherlight, testing, waiting for you to stop him.  

You didn’t.  

A slow, knowing hum left his lips. “Thought so,” he murmured, voice dropping even lower.  

Your breath came a little quicker, your skin tingling beneath his touch. Your body was betraying you, leaning into the heat of him.

His fingers finally landed on your chin, tilting it up slightly, forcing you to meet his gaze. His eyes were unreadable—dangerous, teasing, but there was something else simmering beneath them. Something that sent your stomach twisting in the worst, best way.  

"You wanna taste somethin' sweet?" he murmured, his thumb barely brushing over your bottom lip. "I can give you more than just cake."  

Your breath hitched, fingers tightening at your sides.  

You just stood there. Frozen. Trapped under his gaze.  

Jimmy leaned in, slow enough for you to stop him, to push him away, but you didn’t. The warmth of his breath ghosted over your lips, his presence consuming every inch of space between you.  

Every nerve was alight, your breath coming shallow and uneven as Jimmy inched closer, the space between you shrinking to nothing. The scent of vanilla and his cologne wrapped around you, thick and intoxicating.  

"You gonna stop me?" he murmured, his lips barely brushing against yours as he spoke, his voice low, teasing.  

You should’ve. But you didn’t move. You couldn’t.  

His thumb dragged over your bottom lip, slow, deliberate, like he was testing you, waiting for any sign of resistance. When he found none, his smirk deepened, and then—  

His lips brushed yours.  

Not a full kiss, just a whisper of contact, enough to send a sharp jolt straight through you. Your breath hitched, and Jimmy noticed.  

"You’re shaking," he murmured, his free hand sliding up your side, fingers grazing your ribs, your waist—barely there, but enough to make your skin erupt in goosebumps.  

"I’m n-" You swallowed hard, but the words died in your throat.  

He took advantage of your hesitation, closing the distance entirely. His lips pressed against yours, slow at first, testing, teasing. His grip on your waist tightened, pulling you closer, his body heat seeping into you, his hand tracing up your spine like he wanted to memorize every inch of you.  

The moment you responded, the moment you gave in and let your lips move against his, it was over.  

Jimmy deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping over your bottom lip before slipping past, claiming your mouth like he had every right to. His grip turned possessive, his fingers digging into your waist as he pressed you back against the counter.  

You let out a soft gasp against his mouth, and he groaned in response, swallowing the sound like it belonged to him.  

"You taste better than that damn cake," he muttered against your lips, nipping at your bottom lip just hard enough to make your stomach flip.  

A shiver ran through you, and your fingers instinctively gripped the front of his shirt, holding onto him like he was the only thing keeping you upright.  

"Jimmy, we cant—" you breathed, but it came out weak, needy, nothing like the warning you meant for it to be.  

"Shhh," he murmured, his lips trailing from your mouth to your jaw, then lower, grazing the sensitive spot just below your ear. "I got you, baby."  

The nickname sent a new wave of heat through you, your body arching into him before you could think twice about it. His hands slid lower, fingers pressing into your hips, gripping you like he had no intention of letting go.  

"You still wanna act like you hate me?" he whispered against your skin, his breath hot, his voice dripping with amusement and something deeper.  

You should’ve said yes. Should’ve pushed him away. Should’ve told him this was wrong.  

But the only thing that left your lips was a soft, breathless whimper.  

Jimmy chuckled, dark and knowing.  

"Yeah," he muttered, his teeth grazing your skin before he kissed you again, slower this time, deeper. "That’s what I thought."

You knew it was a bad idea, knew you were crossing a line that could never be uncrossed, but still, you couldn’t stop. The feel of his lips against yours, the way he held you close, the pressure of his body pressing against yours—everything felt too good to resist.

You’d always found ways to make excuses, to stay just out of reach. The random times you’d bug him when you needed something opened, pretending it was just too difficult for you to handle on your own. You'd act annoyed, making a big show of how "helpless" you were, even though it was never actually hard. It was just an excuse, a reason to get him close to you. He’d always tease you about it, calling you out on how dramatic you were, but there was a flicker of something else in his eyes when he did, something you’d always ignored or tried to explain away. 

Then there were the times he’d bring girls over, just to sit around in the living room, loud and carefree, as if they didn’t matter to him. The jealousy it stirred inside you was a dangerous thing. You’d play it cool, roll your eyes and pretend you didn’t care. But you did. You cared so much that it burned. It wasn’t about them, not really. It was the way he’d be with them—too casual, too friendly, not even a hint of what he shared with you. He’d stay in the living room with them for hours, laughing, talking like you weren’t there, almost like he was flaunting it. 

Every time he brought a girl around, he’d still somehow find ways to be around you. He wouldn’t let you slip away completely, not with the way he’d casually touch your arm when passing by, or the way his eyes would seek you out in a room full of people. It was almost like he wanted you to be jealous, wanted to see that spark of emotion flash in your eyes when he paid attention to someone else. But he never made a move on them. Not really. You had to wonder if he was testing you, pushing your boundaries to see how far you'd go. Or maybe, in some twisted way, he was giving you the space to make a move of your own. 

Now, there was no going back. 

His lips pulled away just long enough for you to catch your breath, his forehead resting against yours as you both tried to steady your racing hearts. His fingers were still tangled in your hair, and his other hand had drifted to your lower back, pulling you closer into him. You could feel the heat of him through the thin fabric of your clothes. You could feel everything.  

“You know this is crazy, right?” you whispered, your voice shaky, unsure if you were asking him or telling yourself. 

His eyes met yours again, dark and intense, and he gave a small, crooked grin. “Yeah,” he murmured, his thumb brushing over your lip again. “Maybe it’s what we need, ma.”

That was the problem. It wasn’t just about him. It wasn’t just about you. It was about both of you. And maybe you both had always known this would happen. Maybe you both had been waiting for the other to make the first move.

His hand slid up beneath your oversized tee, fingers trailing against your bare skin, igniting a trail of heat in their wake. Your breath hitched, your body reacting to his touch before your mind could catch up. And god—he looked so damn good in those glasses. He rarely wore them, but when he did, it did something to you, something dangerous. It wasn’t just the way they framed his sharp features, or the way they made him look even more intense. It was the way they added to that quiet, confident arrogance of his—the way he knew exactly how they affected you.

Your lips parted, and without even thinking, you bit down on your bottom lip, trying to contain the rush of anticipation flooding through you. His eyes darkened at the sight, his pupils dilating with hunger. A low, guttural moan rumbled from his chest, deep and intoxicating, sending a shiver down your spine.

Before you could process it, he moved—swift, effortless, like he’d done it a thousand times before. His strong hands gripped your thighs, lifting you with no effort at all. You gasped, your arms instinctively wrapping around his shoulders as he set you down onto the cool marble countertop. 

He didn’t hesitate. His lips crashed into yours again, hungrier this time, more demanding. His hands gripped your ass firmly, pulling you flush against him, and you could feel every hard line of his body pressing into you. Your fingers tangled into his hair, tugging just enough to earn another groan from him, the sound vibrating through his chest and into yours.

“Fuck,” Jimmy mumbled against your lips, his voice thick with something between frustration and need. His hands roamed your sides, fingers digging into your skin like he was trying to ground himself. Your breaths mingled, heavy and uneven, as your hands moved instinctively to the hem of your shorts, pushing them down until they slipped off your legs and pooled onto the floor.

It had been over a year—too long since anyone had touched you like this. And yet, a single kiss from the one man you swore you couldn’t stand had you wetter than anyone ever had. It didn’t make sense. It was crazy. But you didn’t care.

Jimmy broke the kiss, his gaze trailing down your body until it settled on your yellow lace thong. The way his jaw clenched, the way his eyes darkened—it sent a rush of heat straight through you. You didn’t even have to look down to know how hard he was. His breathing was labored, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he undid his pants, never once breaking eye contact.

“You hate me for real, huh?” His voice was low, teasing, but thick with something deeper, something desperate.

Your eyes locked onto his, and you forced out a soft, defiant, “Mhm.” But it came out as a whimper, betraying the war raging inside you.

His smirk was slow, knowing. “Yeah?”

Before you could say anything else, his pants and boxers hit the floor, and your breath hitched.

Your pulse pounded in your ears, your fingers twitching against the countertop as anticipation curled low in your stomach.

And that’s when you felt it—the hard press of him against you, only the thin lace of your thong keeping you apart. A sharp gasp slipped past your lips, swallowed instantly by his mouth as he kissed you deeper, his hands gripping your thighs, keeping you locked in place. Your fingers curled into his shoulders, nails digging in as a shudder ran through you.  

“You still hate me?” he murmured, his voice teasing but rough, his breath hot against your lips.  

Your eyes fluttered open, locking onto his, clouded with a mix of defiance and something dangerously close to surrender. “Ye—yeah,” you mumbled, though the tremble in your voice betrayed you.  

His smirk was slow, knowing. His grip tightened, his fingers flexing against your hips. “Bet”  

Before you could say anything else, he stretched you—slow, deliberate, making sure you felt every inch of his dick claiming you. Your mouth fell open, a soundless moan escaping as your body arched into him. His forehead rested against yours, both of you caught in the moment, breathing each other in.  

Your hands clutched at his back, nails dragging along his skin as he pulled you impossibly closer, filling you to the hilt. The heat, the tension, the months of unspoken rivalry and buried longing—it all exploded into something neither of you could stop now.  

And you didn’t want to.

Jimmy moved slowly, setting a rhythm that had your breath hitching with every deep, calculated stroke. You were used to men who rushed, who chased their own pleasure without thinking about yours. But Jimmy—he took his time, like he had something to prove. Like he wanted you to feel every inch of what he was doing to you.  

A shaky breath escaped your lips as your fingers curled against his shoulders. “J-Jimmy…”  

His grip tightened on your hips, his mouth ghosting over the shell of your ear. “What, baby?” His voice was thick, teasing, but there was something raw beneath it.  

You swallowed hard, your body betraying you as you arched into him. “I—” Your words faltered, another breathy whimper slipping free as he rocked into you again, slow and deep.  

He chuckled lowly, his lips trailing down your jaw, pressing lazy kisses along your skin. “You always talk back, always got somethin’ smart to say,” he murmured, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. His hands slid up your sides, fingertips brushing under your oversized tee. “But look at you now… all quiet for me.”  

Your nails dug into his back, frustration bubbling in your chest. “Shut up,” you muttered, your voice barely a whisper.  

Jimmy smirked against your skin, his grip tightening. “Nah, you love this shit,” he murmured. “Ain’t nobody ever taken their time with you, huh? Always quick, always rough… but that’s not what you need.”  

You bit your lip, refusing to admit how right he was.  

He pulled back just enough to look you in the eyes, his expression dark, hungry. “When a man really wanna fuck a woman, he don’t rush it. He wanna feel that pussy. That’s the whole fuckin’ point, mama.”  

A shudder ran through you, your breath coming out in short, uneven gasps. He was ruining you, and he knew it.  

“Tell me you still hate me,” he whispered, a smirk playing on his lips as he rolled his hips just right.  

You wanted to. You wanted to hold onto that last shred of defiance. But all that left your lips was a shaky, breathless moan.

His grip tightened as he leaned in, lips brushing over the shell of your ear. “Say it,” he murmured, voice thick with control. “Tell me you don’t hate me, baby.”  

Your breath hitched, every nerve in your body on fire. “I—I don’t hate you, Jimmy,” you panted, barely able to form the words as his dick hit every sweet spot in your body.  

He hummed in satisfaction, his hands gripping your thighs, keeping you right where he wanted. “Mmh, I know,” he rasped, his dark gaze locked onto yours. “You just needed some dick, didn’t you?”  

Your heart pounded, fingers digging into his shoulders. You didn’t answer, couldn’t. But he wasn’t letting you off that easy. His fingers tilted your chin up, forcing your eyes to meet his. “Say it.”  

A soft whimper escaped your lips, your head nodding before you could stop yourself. His smirk deepened, his grip tightening as he watched you unravel beneath him.  

The tension coiled tighter, every inch of your body wound up and desperate for release. “Jimmy—Yes…” Your words trailed off into a shaky breath, eyes fluttering shut as the pressure built.  

He read you instantly, his voice dropping to a low whisper. “Cum on this dick, baby. I got you.”  

And just like that, you shattered, a breathless moan slipping past your lips as your body gave in. He held you through it, his hands steady, his eyes never leaving yours.  

“Damn,” he murmured, pressing his forehead against yours as you caught your breath. Jimmy didn’t let up. His grip on you was firm as he pulled you down to your feet, spinning you around with ease. His hands guided you, pressing your front against the counter as his body crowded you from behind.  

“Arch that back for me,” he murmured, voice thick with command.  

You obeyed without hesitation, your fingers gripping the cool surface as he slid inside of you, teasing, taking his time. Your breath hitched, a desperate whimper escaping your lips.  

“Damn,” he groaned, sliding an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. “Knew you just needed me to take care of you.”  

Your head fell forward, your lips parting. “Please…”  

He smirked at the way the word rolled off your tongue. “Yeah, baby?”  

You couldn’t form the words. Your thoughts were a blur, tangled in the heat of the moment.  

He chuckled darkly, his fingers trailing down your spine. “Mmh, all that attitude, all that ‘I hate you’ talk—where it at now?”  

You bit your lip, trying to hold on to whatever fight you had left, but it was useless. His fingers slid lower, finding your clit with ease. A sharp gasp escaped you, your body trembling under his touch.  

“Thought so,” he muttered, his lips brushing against your shoulder. His fingers moved faster as he coaxed you closer to the edge. “And you ain’t done yet, baby. You gonna gimme another one before I let up.”  

A desperate whimper slipped from your lips. “Yeah?”  

He hummed in satisfaction, his fingers working fast but firm, knowing exactly how to unravel you. “Yeah,” he confirmed. “And you gon’ take it.”  

Your body tensed, heat pooling low in your stomach as the sensation built higher, stronger, consuming every part of you.  

“Jimmy—” Your voice broke, your grip on the counter tightening as a wave of pleasure crashed over you, leaving you breathless.  

A deep groan rumbled from his chest, his arms holding you close as he followed, his breath heavy, his hands still gripping you like he wasn’t ready to let go just yet.  

“fffuuuckk,” he muttered, pressing a slow, lingering kiss against your shoulder. “Good girl.”  

Your knees felt weak, your breath shaky, but he held you steady, his lips ghosting over your skin as if savoring the moment.  

“You still hate me?” he murmured against your ear, his voice teasing, smug.  

You let out a breathless laugh, too dazed to even pretend anymore. “Shut up, Jimmy.”  

His chuckle was low, knowing. “ight.”

The night unfolded in a blur of tension and connection, each moment between you and Jimmy pulling you deeper into something unplanned. You moved through the apartment together. His dick was inside of you in the living room, slow and intense, his hands exploring with a mix of desire and tenderness. Every room, every new position felt deliberate.

It wasn’t just about the heat between you—it was the quiet tenderness in his touches, the way he’d pull you close, his hand brushing through your hair. With each passing moment, it became clear: this wasn’t a fleeting thing. Whatever had sparked between you two, it was something deeper than you’d expected. And as the night ended, you couldn’t help but wonder where it would lead.

[dreamauri]

♪ — 𝗕𝗟𝗨𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦 max verstappen x fem! ex teamate! reader (angst) fic summary . . . Former teammates turned bitter rivals, you and Max have spent years at each other’s throats—until stolen nights blur the lines between love and hate. But when jealousy and unresolved emotions come to a breaking point, you're forced to confront the painful truth: was it ever real, or just another game to win? (606 words)

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It was so ironic. So fucking stupid. But you couldn’t hold back the choked sobs as you ran your hands through your hair, barely able to make out the city below through blurry eyes. The lights of Monaco mocked you, shimmering indifferently as Max paced behind you, his footsteps echoing against the balcony floor.

Your whole world was coming apart. Gripping the railing, you turned to face him—angry, frustrated, helpless. He stopped mid-step at the sight of your tear-streaked, red face. With an annoyed sigh, he stepped closer, reaching out, fingertips brushing your arm, but you didn’t let him get near. Without hesitation, you swatted his hand away and shoved him back, pressing against his chest to force distance between you.

“You forgot how close hate is to love,” you shouted, voice raw, breath shaky. You turned away, facing the endless stretch of the Mediterranean, hoping the cool air could somehow soothe the ache in your chest.

“You don’t know what you’re saying, Yn.” His voice was tight with frustration, his jaw clenched as he reached for you again, fingers curling around your arm to turn you back toward him. His expression was controlled, but you could see it—the battle inside him, the effort it took not to let his anger take over.

If it were anybody else, he would’ve snapped, let the rage spill over. But with you? Even Max wasn’t sure why he held back. You weren’t special. You were his opponent, his ex-teammate. Just like all the others.

You weren’t special at all.

“You never loved me.” The words trembled from your lips, barely above a whisper, but heavy with accusation, pain, and anger. You jabbed a finger into his chest, your breaths ragged. “You knew that I loved you, and you used that.”

You shoved him again, but this time, he caught your wrists, stopping you cold.

“Yn, stop talking like a child. We’re playing for teams now.”

It was ironic. So ironic. How you two had hated each other down to the bone when you were teammates—shouting, crashing into each other, pushing every limit until you couldn’t take it anymore. You had left the team because if he so much as breathed near you one more time, you’d strangle him. And if you were within a five-meter radius of him, he’d dropkick you.

But now that you were gone—now that you had your own team, your own teammate, one you actually got along with—Max was jealous. And somehow, he missed you.

The saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder” had never felt so cruelly accurate. One moment, you were at each other’s throats; the next, you were tangled in his sheets on a Monday night, his fingers running through your hair as you nuzzled into his chest, his lips pressing softly against your temple.

But was it ever real?

Did he ever really want you? Or had there always been another reason?

You didn’t even know what those reasons could be. And neither did Max. Was it jealousy—seeing the chemistry you had with your new teammate, knowing he never had that with you? Was it the fact that you were something he could no longer have?

It didn’t matter.

Because no matter what Max told you, you had to convince yourself it was all a lie. It had to be. You were rivals. That had to be the reason for all of this.

He couldn’t possibly love you.

“Yes, we are, aren’t we?” You huffed, yanking your wrists free from his grip, meeting his stupidly blue eyes—the same ones that, no matter how hard they tried, could never truly hate you.

[valleymyristica]

People that make me happy ᵔᵜᵔ

Also, happy 3 month anniversary of What it takes!

There are so many people around And I find myself wanting to share my glee

So I want to give a thank you to all who make me happy And I also want to wish whoever is reading this a lovely day For I'm sure there is always someone who finds glee in your existence

For me, these are the lovely ones that gives me a smile whenever I see them about. Just knowing they are there is enough ᵔᵜᵔ

@waitineedaname

For being a wonderful person One I'm always happy to see doing well We may not talk as much, because I'm so slow But you still make me happy, wherever you go

So I want to wish you the best in this new year! [And thank you for being the beta reader for the HLVRAI fic I've yet to post] [If I ever will, really should though...] [Man, it's so old now]⠀

@cubbiverse

Thank you for being the reason I started What it takes! Without you, it wouldn't exist

Talking to you is always a blast You're always so fun! Your ideas are such a driving force for me

Really bringing me glee whenever I see you You're lovely, you're great I hope the year to come will treat you well! I wish you a happy new year!

Also! Can't forget! Your art is always so nice to see It's always so bubbly, bouncy, pretty and soft! Such lovely fun you bring With every single thing!

Oh, I really do like all the things that you do! You make me so happy too!!!

@shrimpyjackal

Art so pretty, always so kind So very sweet, with a lovely mind

Your colours, they pop! So pretty to the eye Like the setting sun An array of colours in the sky

Like a cold dessert After a desert walk Your art really does have a special spark! Like fireworks that boom, with colours and light! I hope that the year to come, will be lovely and bright!

I wish, it will be lovely and bright! And who knows, maybe wishes do come true?

@astrolotte

Things come Things go

But you are one I'm happy to know!

You're always so positive, so very sweet Just so lovely and unique!

It delights me when you read But I wish you well all the same

For I hope this year brings you joy As we play along with it's game Even as rules change

For change can be good Though, wouldn't want it to leave you on the run

And some things are sweet Though, being trapped is no fun

And have to also tell that your art is like a present on Christmas day Truly something to look forward to in every way!

@arandom-dog [AO3]

My beta reader My wonderful beta reader

AHHHHHHH!!! YOU'RE GREAT!

I'm so happy I have you! You're so helpful and kind! I always like to talk and hear what's on your mind!

AHHHHHH!!!! I still can't stop looking that the comic you made! Along with all the other lovely things you've made Gosh, Bunny is so CUTE! AHHHH!!! It's so pretty! So cool!

I'm so happy you made it And I'm so glad you had fun when you did!

Gosh, What it takes really has taken hold of my life

@unconsciousnonhuman

Thank you for creating the lovely [angst server]! It would be a delight if there was more time to spend

For hearing what's on your mind Is always a highlight before reaching the days end!

So morbid and fun! Oh! You are such a lovely one!

I'm happy you exist! So happy you are here! Really bringing joy by simply being you Do hope I can give you joy too!

Honestly, I think my new years resolution will be to read all of Para. Peri and leave my comment at every chapter.

I will get it done. I hope

@poggieking03

My delightful little fan I'm so happy I have you Really bringing me glee, and questions too!

It's always so fun to see your reactions To hear what you think heh Especially when the characters are on their brink!

I do hope that life is treating you well and that you are feeling swell!

For deserve kindness for all the things you've given me You make me so happy and fill me with glee!

@nightjasmine10

I really do delight in all you send my way Every comment, whatever it may, really does bring a smile to my day!

Honestly, it's so nice that you like talking to me, and it's nice talking to you in turn. You're always so sweet and willing to engage!

You seem so passionate about writing It's so cool! It's always nice to see you around!

Thank you for being as lovely as you are!

@freesso

Pretty, soft and expressive art So very cute So very sweet So very lovely and unique

A lovely person So nice and kind With art that always bring a smile to mind

Hope your days are joyous and sweet For you’re a lovely person One I'm happy I got to meet!

@midnightdemonz

Yay! Our fairy meat fanatic and one with a powerful Peri AU!

You're such a fun one and always a delight to talk too

Really should work more on fairy meat, we got so much to work with, still... what it takes is also important. Though, sparing some time for some meat shouldn't hurt, right?

As for the wonder you are? You're bright and fun, like a lucky star! Always so fun to talk to you

Hope your days are as great as you are! For you are indeed great!

@nova-in-space

Honestly, I may not be a part of it But seeing all the Peri's interacting is so fun!

From what I've read of Ghost Town so far It's very interesting! Desolate, dreary, eery What could have caused such disarray? Oh, is there anyone that would dare to say?

Also, I still remember the drawing you made based on What it takes I will forever cherish such lovely things Every spec of gold is still gold And it really does delight me that you took the mind and time to do it

It really made me happy, and remembering it really does bring a smile

Thank you so much!

You're a fun delightful person And I do delight in the ideas you present in your work

Like miasma filling their lungs Poisoning their bodies Breaking their minds And all which connects

It's interesting It's fun

@vhs-consumer

It's weird, I don't talk to you But you do seem like a person I'd like You seem like a really fun and cool person

hehehe You even know about 'fairy meat' Which is fun ᵔᵜᵔ⠀⠀

So, I do hope that the year to come will be a fun one With lovely food and fun people!

Also, have to compliment your art Because it's really nice It's like ice preserving the beauty of the world It's like a an array of needles you can softly pet It's like a shiver of cold as you sit so warm with a cup of hot chocolate

It's sharp and nice Both cool and warm And really something one likes to look upon

@elsa-fogen

Thank you for also being a lovely morbid delight!

It's fun talking to you from time to time and I do hope that this year will be a lovely one for you!

I do delight in all the AUs you do have And it's so fun to see your version of Icy She's so cool! hehehe Cool and cold Pun for fun

I like a sweet one who sees no wrong in the horrors It's simply how things are How they should be

Why would you want to leave? We're just getting to the fun part!

Also have to tell, I do like your art as well! It's so fun, the way you create, It's as if all fit together as pieces to a puzzle Every little line has a place to be

Everyone seems so full of life It's just connected so nicely And you're really funny too Your jokes are great!

@illustrationismyhaven ( @doodle17 )

You're a fun one, and happy late birthday!

I think you're the reason I decided to play Psychonauts Which is something I am so very happy and thankful for, it and it's sequel are such great games! I'm so happy I got to experience them, thank you!

In addition, I really like your lobotomy family au It's such a cute little idea!

Well, you seem to have many fun ideas So I guess that's kinda a given

Apart from such, you're a delight too see Your art is always so striking and lovely! So fluid, like a stream of water in winter Like green leafs in the summer rain So pretty, colourful and bright

You really do give off a lovely light!

@todaytomorrowgiraff

I doubt you know of my existence, but I do want to tell I appreciate you!

It delights me to see a little HLVRAI on my dash Gives it all a little extra pizzazz!

I remember finding you thanks to your wonderful fic, Becoming Human. It's been a moment since I've read it last, but I do recall delighting in it so. In a way, I guess it's inspiration, it's such a lovely one and you seem like such a wonderful person!

@bunnieswithknives

Gosh do I like the things that you do So of course you make me happy too!

Your art is so modular Like pipes connected so cleanly together Like ball-jointed dolls that you simply move

It's so very cool! And it all creates such a funky grove!

In addition, your ideas, the thoughts in your mind How you play with ideas You're funny and smart

What you make is truly a work of art!

That is to say, I like what you create! Always so fun to see what you'll present next!

Also, sorry for the time that I messed with your head Hope you're doing better, and you're happy instead!⠀

@kisskisstine

Like a story book with tales to be told Your art is so lovely to behold

A blooming star, so pretty and bright Yet so lonely when she shines her light

And he who thought himself bright and strong Is bound to have a stark realization when he finds, he is wrong

Your art is soft and kind Very fitting for you

For you seem like a lovely person too! Wishing you the best in all that you do!

Bright soft skies Sun so high Hope the smiles that you give Are given in turn For you deserve bright joys! Is one thing I've learned

Giving kindness to the kind Giving joy to the joyous Giving, sharing and wishing the best

So many sweet things You deserve them too!

@wreckrinho

You art is like cookies So scrumptious and good!

Like rivers Like streams Like something forgotten in dreams

So cool and fun So very you

And it makes me happy to see When you enjoy what you do!

Hope you're well And life is treating you with kindness

Horror may come to those in the stories one tell But that doesn't mean it should come to you as well

You're a fun delight Sweet little starlight Deserving fun

Enjoy the things you do I enjoy them too

Share what you like That's when you shine the most bright!

@artificial-angels

Your art, so pretty Like clouds on a soft summer day Like flowers that bloom Like sweet cotton candy dreams

Pastel paradise parade So soft and sweet It really is a delightful treat

@nilsford-prattle

Long forgotten In sand we lay But still we always hope that you are doing okay

Bright and fun Sweet and kind Hope you have peace of mind

Hope there is joy in the things that you do And that you always have a reason to be happy too

@purplecatghostposts

Hope there is joy to your days Your interests are ones we enjoy to see

Your writing a lovely delight Your shimmer a happy joy

So many things anew Yet though old they may seem For you bring it to life Like it's been awoken from a dream

Thank you for being you And doing what you do

Thank you all so much for bringing joy to my day! I hope I'm able to bring some joy to yours as well!

And maybe I'm alone in being me But I do think it nice to tell about those that are kind

In a world so cruel I want to prove there can be kindness as well

I find it pretty funny that it took so long to post this In part because I kept remembering so many fun people⠀

Huh... maybe my friend is right? I am pretty much always happy⠀

Maybe you all have something to do with that?

[myrmica]

Heyy could we talk about the final scene at the end of season 4 with vitalasy asking the players if they had fun and to forget all their sufferings with each other and mapicc's whole "good job coming in second" thing because no one talks about and I feel like there's something to say about that moment simply because it's clear that no one wants to talk about it. During spokes livestream after the wormhole video was released where he explained a couple things the only thing he had to say about this moment was that it was "weird" and I agree it was weird but idk how to put it all into words and you're really amazing at articulating yourself so I'm just wondering what you thought of this moment? Especially after you pointed out that spoke refused to mention the whole vitalasy arc thing during his wormhole video.

YES!!!!! YES! I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SO MUCH. i have talked about it before, but it was in the replies to a post so i doubt anyone really saw that. you can go read the full exchange if you want but here's the meat of what i said there, lightly edited for clarity:

it's like… how can you Not resonate with zam if you're sitting there watching all of that. you're squarely in zam's head, while vitalasy is much harder to access, more obfuscated from the viewer, has less pov time. AND zam is actively misrepresenting him to you while you're trying to understand him. hmm… it's like, zam and vitalasy are the two most socially otherized figures in s4. and zam takes a lot of things out on vitalasy, turns the way people treated him back against vitalasy. and he does it in a way where he positions himself as "victim" and vitalasy as "aggressor," it says so much to me that when zam is legitimately victimized earlier in the season everyone calls him a freak for reacting to it, acts like it's his fault, mocks him. but here, when zam instead victimizes vitalasy, he's socially rewarded for it. everyone else mocks vitalasy With him. and in the end, despite wormhole being zam's lowest point by far, he's the one standing together with the rest of the server while vitalasy and subz are singled out on the other side of the circle, alone. vitalasy stands there and goes (in effect) (paraphrasing/expounding here) "i'm happy with this conclusion. i got what i wanted. it's good for me that spoke took the frontman role, played the villain when i couldn't, because i didn't want to be what spoke is." and nobody LISTENS to that, they all just keep making fun of him, saying things like "he's just going to cry about subz," going "too bad you came in second!" when he is explicitly stating that this was what he wanted! acting like his methods are inherently lesser, like he's this duplicitous person, but what SPOKE did was COOL. so it's not about the exploits, is it? it's about vitalasy. it's about vitalasy being the target zam takes all of his anger out on, the thing that allows zam to access a kind of social acceptance by distancing himself from and rejecting what vitalasy is/represents. “not letting him be true to himself because the only cool thing is violence” is really what it comes down to. this is why it's so crazy to me that eclipse was pretty much textually a romantic relationship, in a world where the only way two people can touch each other is through violence. you can say "we all sleep in the same bed," but you can't Do that, you're limited by what the game represents. if you want it to represent other things, you have to start playing pretend about it. that's always true of minecraft, but it's particularly acute on a pvp server populated primarily by teenage boys. zam being afraid of this relationship where vitalasy is trying to talk things out and compromise with him and so retreating back into violence, trying to goad vitalasy into violence, putting it back on lifesteal terms, is inextricable from his problems with the exploits rendering lifesteal's "natural" form of gameplay obsolete.

^ now you might notice that this is a pretty emotionally intense reaction. I had just finished rewatching s4 and got awfully vitalasybrained about the whole thing. which was a markedly different experience from the first time i watched s4, and found zam’s perspective much easier to access, thus taking much of her view of the world as the truth. I stand by my points here for the most part, but there’s still more to say about it.

some of that is all the stuff i get into in that last post, about the differences between spoke and vitalasy, how they play off of each other/use each other to their own ends in s4, and how zam's function as a camera is just as responsible for the position vitalasy ends up in as zam is on any direct interpersonal level. you have… many layers… of things people don’t want to talk about…. don’t know how to talk about… or, don’t want to present as part of their curated narratives.

it’s taken me forever to post this ask (it was sent on jan 10th) because i have found it impossible to come up with a concise answer. there is a lot going on here. let’s start by looking at that scene itself, The Lifesteal SMP Grand Finale, 5:58:24 - 6:15:00:

[spoke jumps in the void and /ops vitalasy.] Mapicc: Spoke, we kinda need you man. We might need you now.  Leo: I don't know about this anymore. I liked it when Spoke was flying, not Vitalasy. [vitalasy /kills everyone, attempting to bring everyone to spawn. no one understands what he’s doing.] Mapicc: Guys, everybody leave the server, don't give Vitalasy, uhh–any satisfaction. (...) Mapicc: Did we really just let Vitalasy end it? Zam: Yeah, I'm not okay with that. (...) Mapicc: Spoke just dm'd me. He said "Vitalasy and Ash have begged me for months to give them the same power. They had equal part in the creation of the exploit, and I just had better timing than them. Let's just hope they do the best with what they have." Zam: So Vitalasy and Ash both have op now. We have nothing 'cause all our items came from Spoke, so. Also, all our echests were cleared, so. I think we're more than fucked if we stay. Mapicc: You know what's crazy? At the end of the day, after all the shit Spoke talks, he still trusted Vitalasy more than us. Zam: I–that's a good point. Yeah, 'cause–that–wow. That hurts. Yeah. He–wow. Mapicc: Mhm.

note the way spoke phrases this message. vitalasy failed to do what spoke did, and then he begged spoke for that same power. this particular wording will be repeated.

a question is also raised in this exchange: it is ostensibly true that spoke trusted vitalasy more than he trusted zam and mapicc, but can it really be said that spoke trusted vitalasy? how much did spoke trust vitalasy? what does trust even mean here? we know that parrot is the only person spoke truly prioritizes in season 4; parrot opposes spoke, but he is collaborated with. vitalasy collaborates with spoke, but…

Zam: We didn't even get a screenie with like, everyone by the void!

in the ensuing chaos, vitalasy interrupts what everyone thought was the server’s final moment. everyone just wants this whole thing to be over, zam especially wants this whole thing to be over. i don’t think there’s anything vitalasy could have done at this point that would have landed. spoke hung onto his power until this last possible moment, /op-ing vitalasy only when there was nothing left to be done. If vitalasy was trying to usurp or upstage spoke, he would have been thoroughly defeated by this.

Zam: [reading a chat message] Vitalasy, mr. "I don't want to be god" Yeah, what the fuck. That's such a switch up, this entire time he's been begging for power? That's crazy. [spoke logs back on and tells everyone to join live 4. he organizes this little meeting, says “let’s give subz and vitalasy space to give their thoughts.”]

and spoke’s continued presence here is fascinating. that moment where he jumps in the void feels like it should be an ending, passing the baton to vitalasy, but that isn’t what he does. he hovers, directing the conversation. that isn’t how you handle this if you trust him. but it isn’t just that; there’s nothing left for spoke to lose, it’s all over. so he must want to hear whatever it is he thinks vitalasy has to say. 

Vitalasy: Hey guys. How's it going. How'd you like it? Was it a little thrilling, I hope? Zam: Like what? Vitalasy: The end of the season? Zam: [unenthused] It was a... crazy fight. Pretty cool. Vitalasy: Did you have fun? Zam: I'd go far enough to say so, yeah. Vitalasy: Awesome. Then I couldn't have asked for more, actually. [Zam does the thing where you zoom in on your own face in F5, looking into the camera.] Zam: Mhm. Vitalasy: I mean as Spoke said, we've been kinda orchestrating the season. Um, from the very beginning. Since the very first day, we've had access to such items, or such exploits–if you guys have any questions we're down to answer them, now that the uh, season's over and stuff. Umm. Spoke: Yo, can we like, all meet up somewhere? [Spoke teleports all of the Lifesteal members to the swamp outside of spawn.] Spoke: I wanna hear the master plan again. Zam: Oh god. Mapicc: There is no master plan. Spoke: Let's hear it, let's hear it again. Vitalasy: What–I don't know what master plan you're talking about. Mapicc: Yeah, 'cause you didn't have one. Zam: What's going on, yeah, I'm confused. Vitalasy: I just wanted everyone to have fun on the server. I missed the good old–I still do. I think–[interrupted by clutch still being banned] Spoke: Alright, keep talking, keep talking. Keep the talk. Vitalasy: I–I don't have much to say besides, I really hope you all had fun. That–that's it. That's what this game's for, that's why we play on the server. We can stop crying, moping, coping over each other. [Zam looks into the camera again.] Mapicc: You do that harder than anyone. [there's a weird, awkward silence.] Spoke: So, the console just de-opped both of you. Vitalasy: Hm? Mapicc: Parrot's on. Before he turns the server off, or does something drastic, good–[interrupted by Clutch]–shut the fuck up–oh yeah okay, you guys go. Zam: No, let Mapicc talk. Please let Mapicc talk. Please. Mapicc: Before Parrot turns off the server, or does whatever, 'cause he just got de-opped from console, good job coming in second, Vitalasy. I hope you're really glad. Vitalasy: What do you mean? Spoke: Oh my god bro. Zam: That was deep. That was deep. Mapicc: You're talking, you keep saying "we." Like you've really accomplished anything here. You turned people against each other and you go "hey guys! I really hope you had fun!" as if you planned all of this. Spoke did everything! You–you had to beg him for operator.

vitalasy showing up at the end here is pure anti-climax, of course nobody is fucking with it. and he’s kind of turning the anti-climax into the point, about how all of this only matters because they behave as if it matters, how the game itself doesn’t matter, but the people you’re playing it with do. except everyone he’s playing with is mad at him (barring itzsubz, who might be mad at princezam.) It is in fact patently absurd to walk up to a bunch of people who have spent the past several months loudly not having fun and go, i hope you had fun!

some of them probably did have fun with wormhole. but they’re counting that as spoke’s victory, something vitalasy had nothing to do with, so they’re mad at him for acting like he did. spoke’s word choice pops up again.

and then vitalasy does this, which is even funnier, because it reinforces the angle mapicc is taking here, even though it’s the wrong angle:

Vitalasy: Like I wasn't the one who gave it to him? Spoke: WOAH! WHAT THE FUCK! [continues shouting, incomprehensibly] Vitalasy: Alright buddy, calm down, calm down. From the beginning, from the beginning. Spoke: Yeah, you wanna rephrase that? Mapicc: HOW OLD ARE YOU GUYS?

this is the thing with vitalasy. he doesn’t want to do what spoke did, but he does want recognition.

Zam: I don't get this, what the hell? Mapicc: You know where humanity would be if gods acted like this, bro? How are you guys gonna call yourselves gods, you're morons. All of you. Well, except for Zam. Zam has a brain.

(funniest mapicc quote of all time. ZAM HAS A BRAIN?)

Spoke: I wanna say–I want a verbal apology, whenever, after you explain the plan. Vitalasy: No, I mean, we've been working together from the start of it, we've always been talking, no matter what side we've been on. Clutch: But how come it felt like you were in the background of it? Vitalasy: I–I don't wanna take the front and center. I don't like doing the whole–  Mapicc: [so much crosstalk happening] You weren't front and center, Vitalasy. Vitalasy: Hm? Mapicc: You–You're not... you're nowhere near as calm and collected as you say you are. Clutch: But, what did you mean by "we would all be okay?" When I called you earlier today? Vitalasy: That's for later. Clutch: LATER WHEN? WHAT? Zam: What does that mean. What does that mean. What later? WHAT LATER? Clutch: THE SERVER'S DONE. Vitalasy: Yeah. Zam: What do you mean? What? Mapicc: He doesn't know what to say. He didn't have this planned out Zam: I feel like, yeah, I feel like you just missed everything and now you're trying to like, pull something. I don't know. Clutch: You just came in and /killed all of us, and just–  Vitalasy: I was just trying to bring us back to spawn here, but. Mapicc: I think arguing is pointless. I just wanna say again, Vitalasy, good job coming in second. 'Cause if–that's what you accomplished. Vitalasy: To what? Mapicc: To Spoke! To everybody! At the end of the day, you have never been in first place, Vitalasy. Vitalasy: Why do I need to be? Mapicc: And I think it's starting to get to you. I don't think you need to be, 'cause you clearly aren't. I think you want to be, and I don't think it's gonna happen. So, go ahead and explain to us your plan, but at the end, Spoke is what–Spoke is what actually made change.

he’s fine with the role he played in comparison to spoke for a number of reasons, and one of them is the fact that he will get his video in the end regardless of all of this; whether or not you win at lifesteal doesn’t really matter if the story you’ve decided to tell is about the glitch itself more than it is about lifesteal.

but his scheme was also never something that disregarded lifesteal, even if that was how it felt to everyone else. we know that vitalasy tried to be careful in his execution of the whole thing, to keep things from being revealed too early and destroying the stakes, wanted it to be fun for the players. he isn’t without blame in things playing out the way they did, but comparing vitalasy’s side of the story with spoke’s, it really looks like spoke was actively lying to vitalasy as he went against that part of his plan.

when vitalasy initially takes the “breaking the cycle” angle with zam, it’s a combination character move and attempt at damage control (the prison was never meant to be bedrock), not something that reflects his true motivations. vitalasy wanted the game to continue; vitalasy did all of this in the first place in large part because he was trying to fix it, to re-balance it. but those attempts fail, and he is effectively pushed out of the game, reaching a point where his only real option is to ban himself because nobody is playing with him anymore. 

despite all of this, in This Exploit changed Minecraft HISTORY... vitalasy glosses over any and all possible tensions between himself and spoke: 

Vitalasy: Project Wormhole officially began on January 21st 2023. Our mission: use the exploit to increase server activity and fun. We’d accomplish this in three ways: firstly, for the next five months, we’d use the exploit to keep balance on the server, as the reason people stopped playing was because of the mass disparity between powerful and weak players. Secondly, we’d use the exploit to give players a genuine feeling of having fun playing the game. And finally, we’d create a mystery on the server, hinting at a doomsday in which we would finally destroy the server in order to prove to Mojang that this glitch had catastrophic abilities.

It’s always, “we,” “our plan,” presenting the exploiters as a united front. what stands out most about this is that he, personally, would probably look better if he pinned it all on spoke, or ash for that matter. you have a scapegoat for everything going wrong, he’s right there! you could try to absolve yourself. you could at least frame it the way spoke frames you? but in the video, things only start going wrong when 3ht finds the vault, an outside party to the exploiters as a team. he highlights the use of replay, and glosses over the actual reasons 3ht went looking; not because they were engaging with vitalasy’s game as he intended it, solving the mystery he laid out, but because they wanted to prove that he was lying to zam. of course, the tradeoff for not throwing spoke under the bus is getting to claim spoke’s successes as his own successes. and for all intents and purposes, they are.

Vitalasy: Everything was going perfectly as planned. Every day we were revealing new items or mobs to the server. And every day, the players would log on to see what was new. (...) But just when we thought our plan was secured, on March 27th, a player named PlanetLord was looking to solve the mystery of where these items were coming from. While searching for answers, he used a mod that basically lets you X-ray, and found one of the barrel stashes in which Project Wormhole was supplying from.

when he presents his own goals as shared goals, that includes his intention to patch the glitch, even though spoke didn’t know that was his ultimate goal. something he does tell zam, the one who was supposed to stay in the dark about this whole thing until the end–a fact that complicates the trust question. vitalasy, spoke, and ash were all using the exploit to completely different ends. spoke and ash’s individual goals align much better with one another than either does with vitalasy’s interests. for ash’s part, he seems to be a pure opportunist in all of this. he ends his video with the events of early february and barely mentions the wormhole proper; all he wants is the power to get a little revenge and carry out his ego trip, so it makes sense that he isn’t bothered about getting /op in the end, or interested in competing with spoke.

you have spoke’s plan, the heavy lifting involved in manipulating parrot–we know vitalasy was involved in the planning, we’re shown footage of them discussing it in calls together, testing the sign that will change the time of day and secretly pull a /gamemode, etc. vitalasy isn’t the one executing any of this but he has a vested interest in spoke’s success, since all of his plans rest on it. you have vitalasy’s plan which, aside from the part spoke wasn’t aware of, is interested in the presentation of it all; how am i telling this story? how do we reveal things over time in a way that keeps the other players invested? we get very little information on spoke’s involvement in any of this, and it would be fair to assume these things weren’t his priority. spoke cared about balancing things during wormhole, but did he care before that? vitalasy still refers to it as “our” plan even when he does acknowledge that spoke and ash went against it, but does that reflect them actually being on the same page? something tells me they weren't. If it’s true that the balancing aspects of vitalasy’s plan largely came into play post-dupe-war, in response to dupe-war, spoke must have been committed to his own plan and his own set of priorities before vitalasy laid all of this out.

details aside, not knowing that vitalasy had an ulterior motive explains why spoke wouldn’t consider that vitalasy honestly wanted him to be the frontman, even though vitalasy explicitly told him as much; why do all of this, if you didn’t want something more? he just incorrectly assumes what it is vitalasy wants.

Vitalasy: I'm... confused. You support Spoke? Spoke's plan? Zam: Yes. Yeah, that's–like, yeah. Vitalasy: Cool. I'm fine with that–  LifestealAdmin: Yo guys, can I get a word? Zam: What's up LifestealAdmin, please say whatever you want. Please, feel free. LifestealAdmin: So, uh... [bans Vitalasy and Subz] I just banned them. [everyone laughs, and applauds] Mapicc: Vitalasy, good job coming in third! Spoke: Hold on, hold on, hold on, actually–actually hold on. Let's unban Vitalasy, let's unban Subz. I actually don't want beef. I actually don't want beef. (...) Okay, I don't want beef, so I wanna hear, what–what is the–what is like, the last thing you wanna do before the server moves on to season 5. Because obviously like, I don't–I don't know, like, Parrot doesn't typically like, /op the server. Mapicc: Spoke, I want you to close the wormhole. Zam: Oh yeah true, can you get rid of everyone? Yeah. Spoke: Hey, I kinda said like, uhh, 11:59 was the end of the civilization event. Mapicc: Spoke, I want you to close the wormhole. Me and Zam joined you for one reason and one reason only, and that was for people to lose the ability to play. If there is a bunch of people on right now, it is completely against what me and–  Vitalasy: Bruh, that was literally what I was doing. Spoke: I have a–okay, I can /ban @a... yeah, that could work. Vitalasy: Dog, I was literally banning all the new players. Spoke: Yeah, okay, my bad. [Spoke bans all of the new players, and Subz and Vitalasy, and LifestealAdmin.] Spoke: Whoopsies. LifestealAdmin, I'm so sorry. [he unbans them.] Spoke: Okay, final–final plan. Vitalasy, Subz. I–I just wanna hear it. Because, I think–uh, from my perspective–from my perspective of all of this, like, we both had an equal hand in discovering, like, the exploit. I mean, we've joined calls with the–the literal, like, creator of it, that has spent the past like, two years of their life like, learning about it, exploring it. And, I mean, we pushed the boundaries of it together. We took it from what was once just a little like–like, chat visual glitch, to an actual like, physical, game breaking glitch. And, I mean, I can–like–I can't thank you enough for that. But, I knew when I first found it–I–and when I first learned the possibilities of it, that only one could get op. Vitalasy: Yep. Spoke: Now, with that being said, I wanna hear your final goal with all of this.

let’s pivot for a second. here’s exactly what spoke has to say about this scene in complete wormhole breakdown, 57:40 - 1:02:10:

Spoke: The two things I have not explained so far is, the dynamics between the rest of the players, and Vitalasy and Subz. And Ashswag. Now I also removed this from the final cut, but this was originally going to be a major plot point in the video, and I still actually don't know the full truth of it, and that's why I removed it, because I still don't understand the full reality of it. Spoke:  But, I am honestly under the assumption that Vitalasy was working with Parrot in the finale. That may sound like a crazy conspiracy, and it probably is, 'cause I don't think he actually did, but I fully believed he did. (...) Yeah, I fully believed that–[reading a chat message] I mean Parrot asked Vitalasy to help? YES! YEAH, I REMEMBERED–yeah, okay, yeah. I also–so, during, when I first got op, like the days after, Vitalasy was constantly messaging me to also get op. And now, I’ll give him credit, like, Vitalasy was the reason why I even found the exploit in the first place, and was the person who got me in contact with Silicat, but the reason why I didn’t give him op, and I told him like, oh it’s just like a safety hazard you know, like I’ll make sure to give you guys op in the very end, like, that’s what I told him, and I told Ash the same thing, but Ash was more like, he was like “okay, I get that.” He’s like, “as long as you can give me the force, like, wands i’m fine with that.” So, Ash was really chill.  Spoke: But Vitalasy on the other hand–Vitalasy, because he, I also didn’t say this, but in May 1st, Parrot reveals to me that Vitalasy did, um, help him with the ban thing. And Vitalasy never told me about it! Vitalasy never told me that Parrot and him were like, working together. And when Parrot told me about this, I assumed it was just used to like, to convince me to stop working with them, but that’s where I realized later that, Parrot and Vitalasy were probably in cahoots. They were probably–what was probably happening was, Parrot was trying to get Vitalasy to get op, so that then I’d show him to like, the control room, he can see all my repeating command blocks, and then once he can remove all of that, he could take me off the server. And… I knew /op-ing vitalasy would probably be the one way I would get defeated. So, that’s why Vitalasy never got op, and there was a lot more points, especially after the vault was found, where I was definitely consider–considering leaving the team entirely, to focus on May 1st myself. But I knew if I left the team, then the exploit would get out there, Vitalasy–or, Parrot would learn the truth, and then it would just… not work. (...) Spoke: This was also where I /opped Vitalasy and like, Subz and Ash. But… I wasn’t really… I don’t even wanna talk about this. I’m kinda tired, I don’t really wanna talk about this. ‘Cause then, they started just like killing everybody and banning people and then this final convo happens where they… uh, I dunno. It’s weird. It’s a little–it’s weird. I don’t really like this. I–I even messaged Parrot to hop on LifestealAdmin and ban them. And he proceeded to do that and it was really funny.

so, what was spoke expecting in this moment? what did he want vitalasy to say? presumably, he was looking for a reveal. he wanted to be proven right, that he shouldn’t have trusted vitalasy, that it was never collaboration. the exploit is like a loaded gun on the table, neither spoke nor vitalasy can take the other out of the picture without destroying the chance to see their respective projects through, only vitalasy needs spoke, and past a certain point spoke really doesn’t need vitalasy (though again, where might he have been without someone else to take the fall?). but spoke correctly guesses that vitalasy isn't telling him everything, and he doesn’t understand that vitalasy requires his success in order to succeed himself, so he plays against him. you could in turn say that spoke is the one being played, but that’s the wrong way to look at it, we’ve been thinking on spoke’s terms here. vitalasy presents them as a united front.

Vitalasy: I mean, as I gained the powers more and more, from you, and from the barrels, and all that, I realized it's... not that fun. To have it all. To have /op? To have everything? There's no difference. It doesn't–it doesn't make the game any more fun, and– 

of course spoke has no idea what to do with this. "I don’t really like this. It was weird." yeah, i bet it was weird, mr. "and that feeling... was pretty cool." 

and it still leaves the question, if it isn’t fun, why did you want it so bad? for this? to make a point? to prove something to yourself, to try to prove something about yourself to everyone else? …to prove that you’re better than i am?

in this regard, vitalasy is a fundamental threat to his power. not just being–in spoke’s own words–the only thing that could have defeated him in the end, if he did get op and choose to use it against him, but–assuming his fears were unfounded–in the fact that spoke was wrong to consider vitalasy a threat. that vitalasy only earnestly wanted him to succeed, was really only playing at opposing him. that at the end of the day, vitalasy wanted something different from what spoke wanted. 

an extrapolation: you are working with him but you know, in the back of your mind, that you have to beat him to the finish line. you reveal the exploits earlier than he wants, knowing it will lessen his chances and aid your own. In the end, you discover that it was never even a race.

Zam: So why'd you do it?  Vitalasy: I never wanted, I never wanted to be the one to take down the server, to be the tyrant, or any of that.

this is where vitalasy fails to fully articulate himself. he dodges zam’s question entirely. how do you gain enough of that power to realize you didn’t want it, if you never wanted it in the first place? i think we’re all familiar with the defense mechanism which supposes a realization as having happened sooner than it really did, allowing you to have never been wrong in the first place. he’s a little more forthcoming in Season 4 Is Over!, 31:00:

Vitalasy: I realized like, a few things this season. One thing is like, I learned a bunch about myself. Like, and who I want to be for future seasons. Another thing was like, I remember end of season 3, I was like "oh my god, I've never been the bad guy. I've never like, tasted the feeling of being a villain. And... once we had exploits, and had everything, all the power in the world, it... it just felt like nothing. Hah. And I mean, luckily Spoke is the one to take it to the extreme. But you and I stayed pretty chill on this, and–  Subz: We did have every opportunity ever to do exactly what Spoke did. Vitalasy: Yeah, we literally had access to the same exact items to get operator as well, so like. Subz: Yep. Vitalasy: I don't know. That just says something to myself, about who I am. Like, I can't believe I did that. If I told myself like a year ago, in season 4 you're gonna get op, you're gonna have the ability to get op? I would have taken it and gone crazy. But here we are. Like, barely used it, up until the very end.  Subz: I guess we just don't like exploits. We're just anti-exploiters. Vitalasy: Nah–no, no, I think–I wanted–I always had the idea of like, only use exploits if other people are using a worse exploit, basically. And it's funny, I think I told you this, like... they, Baconwaffles–like, Solar Union, um... and the entire server was mad at us and targeted us for having an exploit. Even though we were using that exploit to defend ourselves, against larger exploits to come. Yet, here we are with the larger exploits. And because I–we had gotten rid of so much of it, we weren't able to help as much. Subz: It was too late. Vitalasy: I just think it's ironic, and it's–ahh... lesson learned, I guess. Subz: Lesson learned.

here vitalasy admits that he did set out to be the “tyrant.” he wanted to know how it felt, and he got his answer. everyone knows that he did, intuitively, because it was obvious–and he had (obliquely) admitted the same to zam, before.

but that still isn’t a complete explanation. during wormhole, vitalasy is still suffering from the strange results of his attempt to split his in-game and out-of-game motives down the middle. It allows him to say completely contradictory things–i set out to be the bad guy, but i was only ever using the exploits for good, in self defense!–and mean them on some level, even though to everyone else it reads as nothing but lies–but if this is all he has to offer in the end, what were the lies in service to? why did he do all of this? and he still can’t explain it even if he wanted to, because the video he did it all for isn’t out yet. he’s still trapped in the web of stupid problems he’s created for himself even as he’s trying to explain how much he learned from said problems, and how different it’s made him.

everyone involved understands, on some level, that whatever vitalasy was trying to do has already fallen apart, but he’s standing here acting like he’s won something. they don’t understand how spoke’s victory can also be his victory. they are misidentifying what it is that has failed, and they’re missing the fact that, though he could have never known going in, he needed it to fail more than he needed it to succeed. that this is a victory of its own.

while everything is still going to plan, spoke’s role as the one orchestrating the wormhole makes it possible for vitalasy to play a character who will fight against it, and once everything starts falling apart, spoke’s presence is what allows him to step back and ban himself and get excited for the wormhole despite it all. this means that even before he’s experienced the full consequences of having set himself up to play the villain and failing to follow through, he still tends towards framing himself as somehow justified/right/good. It’s just that it changes over time from something he thinks is serving a dramatic reveal into something he needs to be the truth. i don’t know how vitalasy expected the server to react to him, or to his character, or to the revelation of his character as a construct–we know he wanted it to be fun, wanted things to unfold in such a way where the spirit of the game remained intact, but the original trajectory of it all makes him look so much worse than his failures do; lying to zam the entire time, knowing that zam might betray in the end and stringing her along anyway. 

the way vitalasy describes it in that behind the scenes video, he’s describing the videos he wanted to make. in phase 5, in my video, i’ll explain everything. but when do the other players find out? would this moment, the end of the wormhole, have been that reveal for them? look, i had all of this power and i only used it for good. but now there’s nothing left to reveal. you gave it all away, and all that’s left is yourself.

vitalasy was already placed in a position where there was nothing he could do to convince anyone of anything, for reasons largely beyond anyone’s control. if he could have just committed to playing the villain, it might have fixed everything. It would have given the bedrock prison a purpose, at least. but he couldn’t, because it would require compromising his own needs. and even if he had, they still would have been mad at him–there was no winning. If there was no spoke figure there to keep the plan in motion, if it was just vitalasy, things would have been much worse. vitalasy would have been infinitely more trapped in that position and if he had still refused it, there would have been no finale to deliver some sort of payoff.

as such, spoke and ash revealing everything too early is the pivot point that simultaneously destroys everything and saves vitalasy, in a weird way. It forces him to be honest with zam, to have to try and make it work anyway. to be himself, instead of maintaining the character split. It makes sense that vitalasy isn’t mad about it. it had to happen. the trajectory he was on wasn’t working.

season 4 is lifesteal as a system working against itself. they're being held hostage by the audience, by the secrets that have to be kept from the audience, and by the fact that they are people trying to function on narrative rules. some of them are manipulating each other for real; some of them are backpedaling on that trajectory hard and not being believed, because of the true potential to be manipulated for real. no one can explain anything to each other, there’s no pre-negotiation, no trust, no one can ask for what they want. you might hope that, having reached the final moment of it all, this would stop being true. but it doesn’t. no one is able to articulate it. they just keep on talking past each other. vitalasy tries to articulate it, but he can’t get all the way there.

[LifestealAdmin whispers to Zam: I'm having a LOT of fun!!!! :) x4] Vitalasy: Anyways, I'm very glad that I could be, you know–that you could have taken that role for me. [silence, for a moment.] Mapicc: That said, what is the plan? Vitalasy: Ummm, Minecraft? Clutch: Let's have a minecraft party! Vitalasy: You guys can move on to the new server if you want, but personally? I'd just like to go fishing with my friends. There doesn't need to be some big ending, why don't we just play? How we want to play? Mapicc: Because it's already way far past fishing peacefully in Minecraft right now. Look around you. Zam: I don't–yeah, no, this place is so messed up. I don't know how you could try to stay here.  Vitalasy: Exactly, that's what I'm saying. You guys can move on. LifestealAdmin: Boys, boys, I'm gonna be honest bro, like, I just think everybody's rationale is dookie booty, see you next season, boys. [Everyone is banned. Zam laughs.] Mapicc: You know what Zam, does that count? I'll take that. Zam: Does that count? That does count, yeah.

vitalasy’s wormhole video is, as far as i know, the only video to include this scene at all. It’s the final piece of lifesteal footage shown, before vitalasy ends it talking about how he succeeded in getting the glitch patched. we get one line of dialogue from vitalasy, and then it cuts away–knowing, having seen it, that this is because there’s nothing else of it he could have included without calling the rest of the video into question. not just the parts that make himself look better, all of it. he would have to acknowledge the fact that he’s tying it all up in a bow and the bow doesn’t fit right.

Vitalasy: As players flooded the server I smiled with glee, knowing that this was not only about to be the end of the server, therefore forcing us all to make a new server and start fresh, but also the ending of Project Wormhole. I fought against the wormhole with the other players to make the event fair, but the doomsday continued as planned. As hours went by, totems were removed, hearts were taken, and effects were cleared, all to build up to the moment when we could finally /stop the server for good. But the more I fought against the wormhole, the more I found myself… not… having fun. While the players had a goal, to survive the wormhole event, because I knew everything, I didn’t really know what to do. I could have continued mindlessly going into battle against the wormhole, but at the time, that simply didn’t seem enjoyable. For so long I had hidden behind the curtains of my great project, and now watching it unfold, I had no role to play. So seeing my best friend next to me, just as lost as I was, for the first time in eleven months, I decided to put the wormhole project aside.  [cut to recording; the end of their confrontation with zam, decontextualized.] Vitalasy: Why don’t we just log off? Don’t you remember like, the good old days? Days of minecraft. Building, just… playing minecraft. [cut] Subz: why the hell does it matter what other people want. Or, not really like that but like– Vitalasy: No, I get what you mean. We are doing what we want for us. Subz: Yeah, yes, yes. That’s what I meant. [back to voiceover] Vitalasy: So we waited and watched, as the server we used to care about crumbled. Because in the end it didn’t matter, server or not. We learned what mattered most. That's why we made Project Wormhole; to end the server while bringing its players closer together. Us included.

that’s why we made project wormhole; to end the server while bringing its players closer together. us included. 

[PARROT STARED AT ME, AS HE REALIZED: I DIDN’T JUST EXPLOIT A GAME, I EXPLOITED A FRIENDSHIP I HAD BUILT OVER YEARS. VIDEO AFTER VIDEO, I LIED ABOUT THE EXPLOITS, I LIED ABOUT THE STORY, I LIED ABOUT THE NPPP TO ARTIFICIALLY CREATE HIS PURPOSE. I LIED TO THE VIEWERS, I LIED TO MY FRIENDS, I LIED TO GET TO THIS PLACE, THE ONE PLACE THAT WAS DEEMED IMPOSSIBLE. BUT THE TRUTH IS? THAT ANYBODY COULD HAVE ABUSED THE WORMHOLE. BUT NOBODY COULD HAVE DONE WHAT I HAD ACHIEVED.]

and spoke thinks, why did you forgive me? I thought you’d hate me for it. but you don’t.

princezam says: you aren’t allowed to forgive me. 

vitalasy thinks: i wish you would forgive me. I wish you would forgive yourself.

vitalasy and subz stand there after she leaves and they say, maybe it was only ever meant to be the two of us–vitalasy bookends this same scene, decontextualized, with the sentiment that he and subz were brought together through all of this.

….at what cost? what a hollow win condition. It wasn’t about that. 

we’re doing what we want for us. and it is selfish, by some measures. by zam’s measures, and maybe by everyone else’s too, what vitalasy does in season 4 is selfish. the wormhole is, on the parts of everyone involved, a scheme prioritizing their stories over everyone else's in true lifesteal fashion, declaring narrative control, orchestrating the shape of an entire season; a year of everyone’s lives. vitalasy could not end further from where he began: there is no climax to my story, there is no twist ending, there’s just me. he set it all up with the intention of there being those things, and in the videos where he can gain back distance and narrative control, maybe there is. but over the course of season 4 it all unravels, until it’s just him. and isn’t this the same lesson zam had to learn with eclipse? that you can’t compromise yourself? that you might end up in a situation and realize that it’s not what you want, and have to find a way to get yourself out of it. even an inelegant one. It isn’t just vitalasy creating a role that zam can’t fill, it’s zam doing it back at him, too, building on the framework until the whole thing collapses for both of them. how do you explain the realization that you don’t want what you thought you wanted, but that all of the time wasn’t wasted, because you had to go through it to get where you are now, even though you would never do it again? you don’t. tie it up in a bow.

a contradiction: the server isn’t what matters, the people are what matters, but we refuse to give it up–we’ll be back. and what’s with his fixation on the day one fishing spot, anyway? this juxtaposition where it can be both the site of the exploit’s discovery and the epitome of normal minecraft the way vitalasy talks about it, some sort of threshold. what would that moment have been without the exploit, is that the question? no, because vitalasy doesn’t regret doing it. he needed to do this, to learn from it. but now he’s done. why does vitalasy want to revisit that originary moment–a moment spent with the other exploiters? us included. why does he want to stay in the world, explore its ruins, build an ugly house, hang all of his sentimental items on the wall? vitalasy and subz talk about zam like they don’t want to remember her, and she’s absent from these final videos, but she gets hung on the wall too.

two years later, princezam says: i need to forgive myself through you.

the locus of tension in the final eclipse argument–part and parcel with the things people will refuse to talk about, moving forward–is on the fact that zam hates herself and what she’s done and the situation she’s found herself in, but she won’t actually do anything to make it better. it takes her two years afterwards to even begin to work it out. that scene is the climax of their personal stories in season 4 and it amounts to vitalasy, having been changed so dramatically in large part because of the effect zam had on him, running into the fact that she is rejecting that same kind of change in favor of taking her anger out on the world and with it, herself. she wants to leave it behind, and she wants to forget it happened. spoke, for his part, seems to take about the same amount of processing time on all of this that zam does.

this final scene is just a nail in a coffin. people talking past each other. at that moment in time, vitalasy and the rest of lifesteal rendered incapable of understanding each other.

Zam: I'll talk to Bacon about it. (...) Maybe I can talk to Mapicc about it. [pause] ugh, but then I'm scared that they're gonna be like–nah, cause like, I don't–I don't wanna talk to someone about it and then they'll just be like, yeah, no, Vitalasy was like, evil. And then it's like–cause like–everyone–everyone on the server at that point strongly believed that he was, right? I don't know.

how do you talk about that? first, you just don’t understand it. you cannot seem to grasp what he’s telling you, nothing to be done with it. later… maybe you would understand it. but it’s been so much time, and admitting you were wrong is really one of the hardest things in the world (and telling someone else that they were wrong might be harder still).

[bwat5-blog]

Saying Goodbye: Arcane's Songs Of Grief

**Spoilers For Arcane**

Working on a Jinx post the other day it occurred to me I'd never really delved too much into the music even though it is SO IMPORTANT to the story. This is less critical analysis and more just something that interested me so if you don't care I don't blame you! But I get something out of it every time I get to spend time thinking on and digging into this show, so maybe you will to. This won't be too long as quite honestly I feel that-

A: These are fairly self-explanatory

B: I don't have the mind for lyric/poetry analysis and never have

1. Vi's world falling apart

Goodbye: song by Arcane, Ramsey, and Riot Games Music Team ‧ 2021

So this is the song that plays at the end of season 1 act 1 when we were all collectively saying something to the tune of "OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!?"

It was a beautiful and tragic moment in the show and seriously set the tone for the rest of the story. I see this song as Vi's perspective as her world is completely falling apart around her.

Vander is dead

Mylo & Claggor are dead

Her possible last interaction ever with her little sister was deeply traumatic for the both of them, leaving her with crushing guilt over her loss of control and hurting Powder

She has literally been kidnapped and imprisoned in an adult prison without cause or trial (there is no pit of hell deep enough for you Marcus)

"I can hear the sound of a heartbeat before it goes out Won't ever leave my memory of bloodshed all around, And I can see a tear on my father's face before it falls out" :

Vi is hearing Vander die and telling us she won't ever be able to shake the memory of all this death and pain. And that comes back around unfortunately...

"Oh, my enemy, how could I have ever let you down?

Oh When all these trees saw us grow Cut our teeth and make our bones right here We'd play with shields made of stone Share our dreams and sit our thrones":

I see this as all about Powder/Jinx and Vi's crushing guilt over how they were parted. The trees watching them grow and the place where they played and dreamed of better days clearly being Zaun. But the line that is so indicative of Vi's trauma here is "how could I have ever let you down". As her guilt over how things happened will go to impact the course of her entire life.

"Be still, 'cause I see smoke up ahead and I got steel in my hands We will return like warriors, I swear, that we'll find glory up ahead Tell me

Where is my home? I don't recognize the faces anymore, no Where is my friend? The one I've known since I was only just a kid

I think it's time to say goodbye Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye, woah":

This entire last section speaks to Vi's future when she returns to Zaun. Her entire world has changed. Powder has become Jinx. Ekko is a rebel leader and a warrior. The demon (don't yell at me Silco people I'm talking Vi's POV) who took her entire world away from her sits in her father's house. And when Vi returns she returns with fury and steel aiming to reclaim what she lost. Until she has no choice but to admit the world she knew is gone. Which takes us into our next song.

2. Jinx loses everyone

What Could Have Been: Song by Ray Chen and Sting ‧ 2021

I'd call this the song that captured the world's attention from Arcane. I mean having Sting alone was huge but this whole sequence was once again so beautiful and horrifying at the same time. Vi spends the whole show trying to get through to Jinx up until this point and you want to believe she is going to pull it off. Jinx is recognizing what Silco took from them, and the Council is starting the vote for Zaunite independence.

But it all falls apart. Silco is dead, and Jinx feels like Vi cannot love her anymore and feels rejected by her after everything that has happened. And this song begins, taking us into Jinx's POV as she lashes out in this moment of terrible grief and loss and angry. I'm not going to do the lyrics for this one like I did above because they are all pretty clear and direct. As Jinx makes the long walk to her destiny and fires the weapon that will destroy her people's chance at independence, she is telling Vi, Silco and the world how they have wronged her.

But the trick with Jinx is to remember she is an unreliable narrator. So when we are with her in this moment seeing it through her eyes we have to remember we cannot take everything at face value. So even though throughout the show we have seen Vi's guilt over what Jinx has become driving her, and after Silco's death Jinx essentially seems to blame Vi for what follows because she cannot "love her like she used to" because they are different. Where does that missile actually go?

I am the monster you created You ripped out all my parts And worst of all, for me to live, I gotta kill the part of me that saw That I needed you more

I hope you know we had everything And you broke me and left these pieces I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play what could have been Oh, what could have been

Why don't you love who I am? What we could have been

I am your ghost, a fallen angel You ripped out all my parts I couldn't care what invention you made me 'Cause I, I was meant to be yours

I hope you know we had everything And you broke me and left these pieces I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play

I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play What could have been

3. Death touches Caitlyn Kiramman

I Can't Hear It Now: Song by Arcane, Freya Ridings, and League of Legends ‧ 2024

This song takes us into Caitlyn Kiramman's POV as she is plunged into the darkness of her mothers death at the hands of Jinx. Once again visually and musically it is a stunning moment. There is a notable difference to this one compared to the other two that I wanted to mention.

Vi's song-"Be still, cause I see smoke up ahead and I got steel in my hands, We will return like warriors, I swear, that we'll find glory up ahead Tell me"

Even with all of the loss and grief and pain in the rest of the lyrics there is a moment of hope. A promise of justice and righteous return

Jinx's song- "I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play What could have been"

Full of anger and blame and hurt . Nothing positive but A LOT of emotion.

Now let's look at Caitlyn's lyrics:

There is an ocean so dark down below the waves Where you watch while these dreams gently float away And there is a silence so soft it's only memory Like the way your voice always sounds when you sing to me

But I can't hear it now Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning I don't know if I could I watched the door close for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open

I just watched as the door closed for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open

Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning I don't know if I could I watched the door close for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open

Vi and Jinx are full of emotion and pain and loss but they are expressing it, even if it is misguided or negative. Caitlyn is drowning in her grief but trying to force herself to keep going and failing, and blames herself.

"But I can't hear it now ,Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning"-

Caitlyn so badly wants to hear her mother's voice again but she cannot. And she is trying to go on, be the new head of her house, testify before the council and everything else while maintaining her composure when inside she is completely and utterly destroyed. I mean for gods sake, revisit the moment she finally is alone with the person she can show vulnerability with:

it's like she barely makes it to Vi before her legs give out...

"I watched the door close for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open"-

These are the last words of her goodbye to her mother. Not a lament of how the world is changed and she has to say goodbye. Not an angry accusation at those who wronged her. But blaming herself...

Conclusion:

Anyway! I hope you get something out of this. I did by writing it. I love the music of this show, and as a life-long band nerd and music lover seeing a show weave it's music into the storytelling in such an original way was truly special to me. Thank you for reading and take care!

[respectthepetty]

petty, are there any examples of the black x white dynamic where the top is one who’s white-coded for a change?

WAIT! Pause, Anon! I don't think I can answer this question because I believe you are discussing two different things:

Color-coded characters

My wild ass theory

Color-Coded Characters

There are black x white coded characters in TV series and films that represent different concepts throughout the narrative. They could represent that one character is closed-off and guarded (or mean) while the other is more open and honest (aka nice).

Or the black and white could also represent bad versus good.

But whatever the black and white dynamic represents depends on the story since the colors are there to support the narrative and its themes.

However, I think you are blending color-coded characters with my wild ass theory.

My Wild Ass Theory

For the last year or so, I've collected over three hundred promotional images that I believe show an intentional creative decision to present QL actors in a stereotypical seme/uke dynamic through the use of the black x white color dynamic. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, Bonus, Future Pair?

And we often use the seme/uke terms interchangeably with top/bottom (activo/pasivo) AND dom/sub even though all those terms have different meanings, but that's not what this post is about.

This is why I was surprised by Gemini and Fourth's costumes on The Mask Singer Soulmate since I believe it adds weight to my wild ass theory that this black/white (yin yang) dressing is an intentional creative decision to maintain pair branding and uphold seme/uke dynamics.

So it's difficult for me to answer your question since I think you are asking about two different things.

My Answer

You want to know if there is a character who is the bottom but colored black and if there is a character who is the top but colored white.

I can't really answer that because, usually, in a show, the colors aren't being used to tell position preferences. They are being used to tell something about the characters' personalities or highlight the story's themes.

However, Wandee Goodday's OST did intentionally and explicitly state (through colors and actual positions) that the main characters were vers.

The show, which was directed by Golf who is non-binary and trans, also played with the dom/sub dynamic by making the boxer a bunny and the doctor a tiger.

The author of Wandee Goodday is also the same as To Be Continued, and we also saw this dynamic play out in the show with the doctor being a tiger and the actor being the bunny.

And, once again, because we tend to (incorrectly) use dom/sub and top/bottom interchangeably, the tiger could be seen as the top if you are the woman from the Taiwanese BL Unknown.

However, the colors alone won't tell us which character in a TV series is the top and who is the bottom in a relationship, but, sometimes, shows do tell us in other ways and use the colors to highlight it.

Hopefully, this made sense. I just want to make it clear that my wild ass theory does not transfer to characters in TV shows. My wild ass theory is based on the actors and the creative teams behind their branding.

But . . .

I will leave you with the one branded pair in my wild ass theory that consistently plays color games.

[taurasiluv]

UNRAVELED. — unrivaled!stewie x reader — 1.2k words

summary: you missed stewies affection, badly.

content warnings: hurt/comfort sex

msg from sen: oh we're so back

game days in miami were a lot different than they were back home.

different apartment, different food, different people,

everything was just a little different.

this didn’t bother you, not in the slightest, you loved to experience new things, especially alongside your lover. but, the one thing that did bother you, was the sex.

back home in new york, breanna would always make time for a quickie before she left for the arena, or if that couldn’t happen she would always take the extra step to love on you a bit before she had to leave. 

you understood that breanna was busy. basketball, ownership, ensuring that everything ran smoothly for the players, but it didn’t make the lack of affection hurt any less.

it was another game day, and another day you assumed that would be affectionless until after she got off of the court. you sat on the bed, pouting, while you watched breanna go in and out of the bathroom while she got ready. you saw glimpses of her outfit. a pair of jeans, sunglasses, and a white button up were all collected by her and brought back to the bathroom and different intervals. she didn’t see you, or if she did she was far too busy to say anything about the explicit pout on your face.

you fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with your arms crossed over your body. you heard her cross in and out of the bathroom a couple times before her footsteps became louder and you realized she must’ve been standing in front of you. 

the first thing you noticed when you sat up was just how good she looked. the bun, clean white button up, and jeans that complimented the outfit perfectly. 

she came up to you, spreading out your legs so she could stand in between them. her hand came up to your chin and held it snugly, lifting your face so you could see her. “what’s wrong ma?” her voice was soft and gentle, something that was always comforting for you.

“do you not want me anymore?” you asked, voice shaky. 

you could almost see her heart break through her eyes. they softened and she frowned, stepping even closer to you, your chin was practically touching her chest.

“why would i not want you anymore baby?” she frowned, running her thumb up and down your jaw. 

you sighed, staying silent for a moment to gather your thoughts and attempt not to cry all at the same time. “you’ve been so busy and we haven’t had sex in like forever, i just miss how it was before we came here,” you explained, fidgeting with your hands and avoiding eye contact with her.

she tightened her grip on your jaw, moving your face so you were looking at her. “look at me baby,” her voice was still soft and gentle, but it was laced with dominance this time around. “i’m sorry i’ve been so busy lately and we haven’t had time for our usual pregame routine, i didn’t realize it affected you this much,” she frowned.

“make it up to me?” you flashed a mischievous grin at her, moving your hands to settle around her waist, gently moving up under the button up.

she laughed, her other hand coming up to cup your face as well. “yes ma’am,” she said softly before leaning in to kiss you.

it started gently, her lips moving in tandem with yours as she stroked the skin of your face. but, before you knew it you were laid back and she was straddling you. her hands planted right beside your head and her lips came crashing down. unlike the first time, the kissing came with a lot more touches and fervor. her hands trailed up and down your sides, biting and sucking on your lip at the same time. you moaned into the kiss, bucking your hips as much as you could under the weight of her.

your hands came up to her chest, gently balling the fabric into your hands while you two kissed. her hands made their way down your body, playing with the hem of the shirt you wore—which happened to be hers—and slipping her hands under. her big hands covered lots of skin, blunt nails gently dragging over it. she continued to kiss you, her tongue swirling against yours. 

her fingers continued to dance up and down your torso, gently brushing over your bra for a few moments before going back down to your stomach. you could feel her hips gently grind into yours, a testament to how aroused she was. you were on the same boat as her, you could feel how wet your panties were and just how much you needed her.

“bre please, need you so bad,” you whined in between aggressive kisses. 

“yeah baby, how bad?” she whispered in your ear, biting the lobe.

“stop teasing,” you frowned, reaching down to move her hand to where you needed it.

she smiled at the boldness. making quick work to unbutton your pants and slip her hand down past the waistline of your panties. she gasped when she felt just how wet you were, “fuck baby you really needed this, huh?” she laughed.

you groaned, “yeah and if you ever leave me high and dry for this long ever again i’ll kill you, stewart.” 

she laughed again, plunging her fingers down into your wet folds and rubbing a hasty pace on your clit. you yelped at the sudden feeling of overwhelming pleasure. you bucked your hips up into her touch, your hands coming up to grip her shirt again. “fuck bre,” you moaned, your head pushing back into the mattress underneath you. 

“you like that baby? you’re doing so well for me,” she said, her voice raspy and sultry. a stark contrast to her previously soft and gentle tone. 

you nodded feverishly, too lost in the pleasure of it all to really form a real sentence. you rocked your hips at the same pace of her fingers, rutting into her perfectly. you could feel yourself barreling towards the edge

“f-fuck, bre—m’gonna cum please,” you whined, bucking your hips even harder.

she circled faster, slipping a finger into you. she thrusted and circled faster, leaning forward to whisper into your ear. “cum for me babygirl, my pretty girl.” 

that’s all it took, her voice mixed with the pace of her fingers pumping in and out of you took you to new heights. your eyes rolled back and white hot heat flooded through your veins. soft moans rushed out of you as you rode out your high.

she continued to thrust in and out of you, helping you through your orgasm. “doin’ so good for me baby, cmon,” she said, focused in on the movements of her hand. 

her hand eventually stalled, slowly pulling out of you. she brought her fingers up to her mouth, gently moaning around them while she sucked your juices off of her fingers.

“you feel better?”

you nodded, still in a haze from your orgasm. “thank you,” you smiled softly, looking up at her. 

before she could respond, her phone buzzed in her pocket rapidly. she took it out, glancing at the name of the caller and her eyes widening.

“fuck what time is it?!” she groaned, looking at the clock by your shared bed. 

“fuck i’m late!” she panicked, scurrying off of you to go gather her things. 

[dreamin4smth]

Maria Robotnik VS Sonic 3

So I watched Sonic 3 last december and I can’t stop thinking abt it. Especially what they did with the Shadow and Maria story, so now Ive come here to speak my mind and go through just how GOOD of an adaption they are in the movie. Holy shit. That was wild.

Ill be comparing Game!Maria and Movie!Maria and how their characters work in the story. Im sure there are hundreds of analyzis out there of them that might be saying the same things I will. Idk I havent watched any, but these are my own thoughts Ive gathered from watching the movies and the games. So I hope they make as much sense to you as they do to me lmao.

Because, good lord, it must have been difficult for the writers to handle the question “how do you adapt the story of a hedgehog made by the blood of space alien colonizers all in favour of saving sick child from dying?“

What did the writers do? Well lets see.

To understand the difference between Movie!Maria and Game!Maria we need to understand what Maria as a character does to the story. So lets start there.

Game!Maria

Maria robotnik in the games serves a special roll that promotes her to something more than just a character. Game Maria is a symbol. Her story is set from the moment we learn of her, and her character is more there for plot reasons rather than being an independent veichle in her story. The Maria we meet is soft spoken, compassionate, a fanatic and an inspiration for Shadow. She’s dressed in blue with golden hair and with a leap in her step. There is little fault to be found in her because thats not what she’s ment to be. Maria is a representation of innocence.

She’s a sick child who wishes for everyone on earth to be happy, and all of this is ment to lead you to the horrors of her then being killed. But the point is, Maria in the games is stagnant. She represents the life that Shadow had on the ARK, but more importantly, she represents SHADOWS innocence. Maria as a character is not her own story but rather a subpart of Shadows, and that is where we find the biggest difference with the Games and the movie. Dont even get me started on the almost religious imagery that follows her around. I mean, her names MARIA. Her roll is to be the center of love in Shadow’s life. Shes a sister, a best friend and even motherly at times. And while Shadow generations definetly gives us more of a laid back version of her, we can still see her maintain that untouchable rightousness that makes her character almost age-less. In a sense. She’s a child to highlight her innocence, yet in all other terms she really isn’t. Game Maria is an idea.

So what does the movies do then?

Movie!Maria

Sonic 3 saw all this and decided to do smth a bit different. To introduce such a compex narrative in a movie for children would definetly have been... Difficult, so instead they tone down the version a bit and make it their own thing. Who does Maria become? She becomes a CHARACTER.

Movie Maria is a child who is going to be living at a base filled with adults and scientists. She walks into the first scene with caution and nervousness, and yet as she meets Shadow, she finds a kin. And who we meet is a Maria that is goofy, mischevous, gleeful and daring. She’s a child here. She builds blanket forts, throws pop-corn at her brother, makes him driver her around on roller-skates and plays the guitar. Movie Maria is not ment to represent more than what she is, and still, it works. Movie Maria is innocent but she’s not the definition of it. She’s a person that shadow lost rather than an idea that he lost. The Maria we meet in the movie is a moving character that was abruptly stopped by external forces. She was always ment to have a future and a story, and yet she lost that. Movie Maria’s tragedy lies in her lost potential while Game Maria’s tragedy lies in her inevitable outcome. This also creates a difference in what they do to Shadows own personal journey, which ill get into more later.

So before that one more thing I love that they do with Movie Maria is that they still let her keep that inspirational part. She’s the one to inteoduce the line “the light shines even though the star is gone“ to Shadow and unknowingly ends up helping Shadow in his grief. While Game Maria is activly trying to bring positive change to Shadow’s life, Movie Maria uninentionally does that simply by showing kindness and love. She is still Shadows sister who was always there for him and loved him, just in a different light. She is still his moral compass. Shadow can be a good person because of her impact on his life, and in my opinion, as long as she fits the afformentioned categories then Maria can be whatever the writers want her to be.

So last but not least, lets talk abt her sickness.

Maria’s Sickness

Game Maria is deathly sick. Her days are numbered until a cure can be found, and the only hope left for her is Shadow. This creates a dependency between the two because suddenly, Shadow’s life isnt his own. He is alive for and because of Maria. She’s a part of his identity, so what happens when he loses that part of himself? This internal conflict directly influences Shadow’s self worth. Shadow is as much angry for losing her as he’s angry for losing himself. The very reason to why he says “goodbye shadow the hedgehog“ in Shadow 05 is because he can no longer be the same person after losing Maria. His goals and his dreams are haltered when the ARK gets invaded, ans it all leads back to Maria’s sickness.

Which is why... Well... The fact that the movie removes this part of Maria sure is... A choice.

And while I understand that showing a sick child who is then killed by the military would probbaly raise a few eyebrows from adults, that still doesnt change the fact that a very unique and important part of Shadows story was removed.

Movie Maria is there more or less on her own ackord. She has a future ahead of her. Her and Shadows relationship isn’t built on mutual depenency but rather as a circumstantional one. Which still works, dont get me wrong, but it does make the story just a tad more generic. Shadow is no longer angry for losing such a big part of his identity, he’s just doing the former part now. Grieving the most important person in his life, as well as his home.

This hardly ruins the story ofc, its just a different take on the story that, in all fairness, fits the vibe of the movie better. Bringing in terminal illness and conversations around that would definetly be a tough one. And because of them making Maria more of a character now it still works. She’s already an innocent and tragic character. She’s not ment to be innocence and tragedy incarnate like she is in the games. You get the point.

All in all. Almost perfect adaption of Maria in my opinion. I love movie Maria and it was such a clever way to go with the character. She and Shadow will always have a special place in my heart.

Hope you liked my little thought essay. I can talk abt Sonic characters all damn day 🫶

[beedreamscape]

This has to be the last thing I say on C3 finale because otherwise, I will not stop, it simply baffles me in its mediocrity. And obviously, this will be negative, if you loved it, good for you, this is my takeaway as someone who loved this campaign and was severely let down.

This finale changes everything that came before and not for good, better yet, it emphasizes all the faults in the structure of what c3 tried to be, it made most of the campaign feel like a true exercise in futility — How far can we go in a campaign that is meandering and unsatisfying? How long can we have the same discussion over and over and over again despite everyone knowing how this will end? How long can we drag out characters that don't change without anyone noticing? (spoiler everyone noticed)

Can't say I was emotionally invested in the finale because I tapped out back in the 70s, came back for Aeor/Downfall shenanigans, and left again. But in experiencing the finale something became clear to me:

THIS STORY NEEDED TO BE SHORTER.

WITH ANOTHER PARTY AT THE HELM.

If the objective from the very conception of C3 was to wipe out the gods, that had to be clear from the very start. And it wasn't clear, at all — not in the characters, not in the starting city, not in theme. This was a completely different campaign at the start! That clarity was what made Calamity so great, it was short and precise, and every pc SERVICED THE THEME, filled with hubris and contempt, not to mention the setting.

Even Ludinus went in circles for convenience of the campaign length and became a weaker opponent for it, more of a nuisance than a villain. The threat he posed at episode 50 was much stronger than now at 120 something. The battle against Otohan was more nail-biting and emotionally engaging than fighting Ludinus and Predathos, a god eater!!!!

This campaign would've benefited from three to four acts instead of one overarching objective like the past campaigns because urgency is the name of the game and we can't carry urgency for 70 episodes straight (and they didn't).

The constant inclusion of the other parties made it clear how easy it was to detach BH from the story, how easy and fun it was for them to tell it through another party's eyes (one of the main reasons why I walked away back when I did, but that's more of a personal preference).

Which is not to say Bells Hell's didn't deserve a long story! They could very well have existed in a more intimate campaign which these characters were clearly built for! Their premises begged for closer looks in slow moments, something tragicomical, exploration of the inner world while developing MARQUET and its microcosm of injustice and politics which was left in the dust mid-campaign (pun intended).

And I'm not suggesting this just for our enjoyment, I know it's them playing and their enjoyment comes first blah blah, though this is a multi-million company therefore their jobs but this would contribute to their enjoyment! You could see several moments in the campaign how tapped out they felt and acted. I doubt it was "fun" discussing the gods situation ad naseaum, trudging through landscapes they barely cared about, with empty arcs.

I could nitpick every fault I see in the finale but it would be pointless, these issues have been dragged from ages ago and poor character matching, and now this is a culmination of everything and it barely fazes me anymore.

(And yeah it's their game and it's "free", but that doesn't undermine its weight as a story, stories were made be analyzed, and it was a poorly structured one no matter how much I still like and admire them as people.)

WHICH is not to say I had no fun at all ever, I did! several times! and that's what makes me upset, it could've been great instead is just meh.