#then they killed me and squid bagged me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

singsweetmelodies · 1 year ago

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mehehehe.....piarles + 25 or 45 🫶

25 = Green Card Marriage

45 = Vampire and Hunter

hehehehehehehe... let's see about 25 and 45 🤭👀

"It's brilliant, Charlito!" Pierre insists, spreading his arms like he's saying, come on. "I'm a hunter, so I'm allowed to settle in any country I want. If you're married to me, you'll be allowed to settle there too, and you can get that position at Rutgers like you have always wanted."

Charles folds his arms. "I'm a vampire, Pierre," he reminds him, pointedly. "Or have you forgotten?"

Pierre folds his arms, too, mirroring Charles' own pose. "Of course I haven't forgotten, calamar."

Calamar. As always, the nickname takes Charles right back - to that day in the back of his parents' garden, when Pierre had decided to come over for a surprise visit and he'd found Charles. Drinking. It had only been from a blood bag, of course (Charles would never kill a person, and he'd been too young then to know about charming someone to let him drink just a few sips) but it had still been more than enough for Pierre to understand what was going on. Pierre had frozen where he stood, eyes blown wide.

And Charles had thought, no no no, and he'd thrown himself at Pierre before he could think better of it. "Please don't leave, Pierrot, please, I promise I'm not evil and we're not evil, I don't care what they say on the news because it's not true, we don't hurt people, we don't hurt anyone, just... please don't go. You're my best friend, please -"

Pierre had stopped him there, putting a gentle hand over Charles' mouth. "I don't care that you're a vampire, Charles," he'd said with surprising firmness for a ten-year-old. "You're my best friend too. And, anyway, you're less of scary vampire and more like... a clingy little squid."

"I'm not!" Charles had shrieked, but of course Pierre had taken to calling him that every day from that moment on. (Charles never protested too much, because the nickname always felt like Pierre's way of saying I know what you are and you're my best friend anyway; I'm not going anywhere.)

"... Charles? Earth to Charles?" Pierre is asking, waving his hand in front of Charles' face. "Ah. Hello again. Did you go to vampire-planet?"

"You know we're from the same planet as you," Charles says immediately, rolling his eyes. "Or didn't they teach you that at hunter school?"

"Mmm, no, I think I skipped that module," Pierre says, and then he grins cheekily, tongue between his teeth.

Charles swats at him, and Pierre catches his wrist easily, his Hunter-trained reflexes quick as ever. Charles' breath catches.

It shouldn't be hot. It should be the opposite of hot, for fuck's sake - those kinds of reflexes are trained to kill people like Charles.

Except, Pierre didn't become a hunter to kill vampires. No - he did it for Charles. Not to hunt him, but to learn how to protect him from other hunters.

So, yeah. It's seriously hot when Pierre shows off some of those skills of his.

"Are you going to let go of me?" Charles asks, swallowing thickly. He can't help the way his gaze flickers to Pierre's fingers wrapped around his wrist, still holding him tightly in place.

You could hold me like that any time you want, Charles thinks, and fights against his blush. It shouldn't even be possible for vampires to blush, for fuck's sake, but Pierre manages to get Charles to do it anyway.

Pierre, thankfully, seems oblivious to Charles' spiralling thoughts. He winks at Charles, playful and cheeky as he always is. "Nope," he says, popping the p. "Not until you agree that my idea is brilliant."

And, right. Right. Charles had almost forgotten the reason why they're even here - Pierre's stupid, hair-brained scheme to get Charles his dream job at Rutgers.

Rutgers, which still does not allow any supernaturals onto its teaching staff, let alone Monégasque vampires.

"It's a terrible idea," Charles says flatly. "They'll never let me teach there if they suspect I'm a vampire."

"But if you're married to a hunter, nobody will ever suspect you're a vampire," Pierre points out, triumphantly. "See? It's genius."

Charles has to admit that it's... clever. Absolutely insane, yes, but clever.

Pierre must be able to read it on his face, because his eyes light up like his favourite F1 team has just won a race. "See! You do think it'll work!" he crows.

"I don't think -" Charles tries, but Pierre cuts him off with a dramatic sigh.

"I've done all the research, Cha. Trust me, there's no way that this can go wrong."

There is, Charles thinks, only a little despairingly. It's not so much that he's worried about getting caught - no, Charles is pretty good at charming officers by now. Half of the time, he doesn't even have to use his hypnotism.

What he's far more worried about is the fact that he'll be married. To Pierre.

Pierre, who he's only been in love with since the first time he called Charles "calamar" and stayed when anyone else would have left.

Pierre, who Charles knows would taste sweeter than anyone else in the world. Because that's the thing about being a vampire and being in love with someone: even one tiny sip of their blood will sustain you sixteen times longer than a random person's would.

It's bad enough just like this, when they're just friends, and Pierre throws his head back to laugh or slides his arm around Charles' waist, and Charles has to fight with himself to keep his fangs tucked away - because even though Pierre is so close and smells so good, he is not Charles' to taste or Charles' to have.

It's hard enough to hold himself back when they're just friends. Charles has no idea how the hell he'll be able to do it if they're fucking married.

But as always when Pierre suggests a hare-brained scheme, Charles is helpless in the face of his sparkling blue eyes and half-cheeky, half-pleading smile.

"Okay, calamar," he agrees, and even though he might just have signed the warrant for his own death-by-slow-torture-of-wanting-his-best-friend-too-much, it's worth it a thousand times over for the way Pierre beams at him and uses the wrist he's still holding to tug Charles into a tight hug.

"Rutgers, here we come!"

(50 Romance Prompts Ask Meme)

#50 romance prompts meme #piarles #piarles fic #myfic #vampire x hunter x green card marriage #this is...... WELL IT'S CERTAINLY SOMETHING #perhaps not my most coherent something because it's 3-bloody-AM here #but i kind of like it #the vibes are DEFINITELY here i think #and now i kind of want a sequel with them married and charles pining and wanting pierre SOOOO BAD #and pierre obviously wanting him back just as bad because of COURSE he loves charles too #and he secretly thinks it would be *so* hot if charles drank from him... 😵‍💫 he'd be a kinky bastard like that #ANYWAY. so many thoughts!#thank you SO much for this prompt phoebe ilyyyy #🫶🫶🫶🧛

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gosecretscribbles · 3 months ago

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Rise August 2024 Day 11: Mud Dogs (What Doesn't Kill You Is Great Comedy Material 1/2)

Summary: The Mud Dogs haven’t been giving Mama enough loot, so she has other plans for them.

Trigger Warning: short Battle Nexus fight, non-graphic injuries, Big Mama-style manipulation and traps via contract.

Keeping the pace pretty brisk to match the style in Raph’s Ride-Along. Had a lot of fun with this one! Enjoy!

Loathsome Leonard dumped the bag of loot on Big Mama’s desk.

“There you go, Big Mama! That’s, uh, that’s actually more than the usual cut! Like fifty percent of it! Haha!”

The loot was a single gold cup and a handful of coins. Leonard knew it wasn’t enough, but he kept up a wide grin anyway.

Big Mama looked down at it for a long moment. Then she lifted her eyes to Loathsome Leonard and his three chums crowded behind him. Leonard didn’t dare turn, but he could feel Dastardly Danny and Malicious Mickey wearing identical nervous grins. Heinous Green grunted. Big Mama still hadn’t moved.

Leonard started to sweat. “See, uh, we haven’t had the best luck, and we haven’t gone out as much – we’ve sort of been running a –”

“Not to worry, my dearwiffle darling,” she purred. “I think this could be your most valuable donation yet.”

“I-it is?”

“Oh yes.” She snapped her fingers. The panels along the walls slid open and the Mud Dogs were immediately surrounded by two dozen of Big Mama’s beefiest body guards. “Take these charming young clowns to the Battle Nexus. They’ll make marvelous entertainment.”

“Hey – wait!”

“We can’t!” Mickey yelped.

“We got prior obligations!” Danny shouted.

“Unnnngh,” Hank groaned.

But the four of them were tied up and tossed into the dungeons anyway. It was one of the bigger rooms, at least, but even at Hank’s smallest size, there wasn’t a lot of room.

Mickey grabbed Danny’s jacket. “What’re we gonna do, Danny?!”

“Cut it out!” Danny planted a clawed hand in Mickey’s face and shoved him away. Then he took a tiny shitzu out of his bright purple jacket. “You’re squishin’ Chaos!”

Chaos yipped adorably.

Mickey clutched at his chest. “What about all the other doggies we’ve been rescuing? They’ll all starve if we can’t get back to them! And Mrs. Num-Num needs her tummy rubbed!”

Leonard stood and ran his hand grimly along the stone walls. “No way outta this, boys,” he said darkly. “This ain’t prison. We can’t escape like we did before. We gotta think of another angle.”

Hank grabbed at the wall. His fingers crushed the rock. He pulled a brick out and chewed it.

Mickey beamed at him. “Aw, Hank! We love you, too!”

Danny scowled. “It’s your fault we’re in this mess, Loathsome Leonard! If we’d stolen the Chalice of Prophetic Destruction, we’d have had enough to keep Big Mama happy! But no! You wanted to steal from some cheap human museum. Who cares about the Holy Grail? It ain’t worth nothin’!”

“Guys, guys!” Mickey pushed the two of them apart. “Fighting won’t get Mrs. Num-Num her belly rubs!”

Leonard growled and looked away. “Fine. I got somethin’ Big Mama’ll want. Oi!” He stuck an arm out of the cell and waved for a guard’s attention. “You hear me? I got somethin’ Big Mama will want more than a buncha rodeo clowns!”

The guard, a bright pink squid yokai, oozed its way down the corridor. “You sure?” it burbled.

“I’m sure,” Leonard said.

The guard blew a bubble between the bars. It blooped over Leonard. The guard reached in and attached a tentacle to the bubble. Then it pulled Leonard out and down the hallway, Leonard bobbing up and down like a balloon.

Mickey looked nervous. “What d’ya think he’s gonna do?”

Danny scowled. “Something dumb.”

Hank groaned, pulled another brick from the wall, and chewed it.

A look of realization crept over Mickey’s face. “Heeey, I think I’ve got an idea!”

It took a couple hours for Hank to eat his way through the wall. They made a mistake the first time and ended up in someone else’s cell. Then they tried getting Hank to tunnel under the cell door, but the floor was made of dirt and even Mickey’s famous mud pies couldn’t make that very appealing. Eventually Hank got annoyed and punched the back wall. The new opening brought them into the long hallway that led straight to the Battle Nexus Arena. As they crawled out, there was a loud cheer. A battle! The three of them rushed to the barred opening, eager to see a good fight.

Mikey screamed. “Leonard! NO!”

Leonard couldn’t hear him. He was battling a massive black scorpion yokai with a whip-like tail and pincers big enough to snap even Hank in half. Leonard darted in and out of the scorpion’s reach. The red stripe over his left eye now had a matching stripe of blood over his right. He was breathing heavily.

Mickey grabbed Danny. “We have to get him out of there!”

“I’m on it!”

Danny shoved Chaos at Mickey and then squeezed under the barred door, contorting his rat yokai muscle and bone. He popped up on the other side just as the scorpion landed a lucky hit, smacking Leonard in the chest so hard he went flying several feet across the gritty arena floor. He didn’t get up. The crowd went wild.

“LEONARD!” Mickey and Danny both screamed. Then Danny had to dive out of the way because Hank ran head-first through the entrance, the bars caught around his neolithic skull. He kept charging until he rammed into the scorpion yokai. It hissed and whipped its tail at him. Danny grabbed a conveniently broken piece of bar and leaped forward to block the blow. Mickey passed Chaos back Danny and leaped on Hank’s fist. Mickey’s eel body lit up with an electric charge and Hank rammed him into the scorpion’s head. The scorpion dropped. The crowd went even wilder.

Mickey and Danny were already sprinting for Leonard. Hank lumbered behind them, groaning. Leonard was still conscious, but his eyes were glazed with pain.

“You’re an idiot!” Danny barked at him. “How is getting yourself killed going to help anything?”

“I’m fixing it,” Leonard coughed. “Big Mama said she’d let us go if I won a fight.”

“You didn’t win,” Big Mama called from her box. The four of them looked up at her.

“He ain’t standin’ up!” Leonard called, pointing at the scorpion.

“Neither are you,” Big Mama cooed. “I’d say it’s a diddly-draw, but your brothers in crime did most of the work!”

She snapped her fingers. Panels around the arena opened, and the same two dozen guards stepped out. They all zeroed in on the Mud Dogs. Danny bit, Mickey cried, and Hank groaned ominously, but the four of them still wound up in a cell – this time with a badly hurt Loathsome Leonard.

“At least get him medical attention!” Danny snapped at their squid guard. The squid guard blew a bubble that went around Danny’s head. He yelled again, then pulled at the bubble, but no sound came out. He sat down in a huff.

“We gotta,” Leonard started, but trailed off coughing. Chaos peeked out of Danny’s jacket and yipped with concern.

“We gotta find help,” Mickey said confidently. “And I think I know just who to ask. Hank! Did that big fight work up an appetite?”

Hank blinked one eye at a time. Then he pulled another brick from the wall and chewed.

“Great! I need to get into the sewers. Danny, you stay here and take care of Leonard. Leonard, you stay here and take care of Chaos. She turns inside-out when she’s stressed.”

Chaos yipped. Then she turned inside out. Leonard braced himself and reached over carefully to tap her nose. She turned right-side out again.

Mickey directed Hank to a spot where he could smell water. Hank pulled and chewed bricks until a new hole formed, this one leading straight down to a tunnel of sewage. Mickey popped the head bubble off of Danny, crammed it onto his own head instead, and dove head-first into the murky water.

Just as he’d thought, the sewage system of the Hidden City connected to the sewage system of New York. (Danny once said this was how New Yorkers got myths about alligators in the sewers. Mickey knew that was dumb – the alligator yokai really did live there! Along with actual alligators.)

Eventually Mickey found a part of the New York sewers covered in turtle-themed graffiti and even one of Lou Jitsu. He brightened. He loved Lou Jitsu! He was a big fan! Maybe if he met another fan, they could help him find the turtles!

He swam further until he heard the sound of voices. A sudden water current dragged him sideways, then straight up until he hit his bubble-helmet on a metal lid. The bubble popped. Mickey held his breath and tried to head-butt the lid, but it wouldn’t budge. Did it unscrew? Oh! Maybe it was like those push-then-unscrew medicine bottles! But how could he push down?

Suddenly he heard voices. There was a rusty squeak and the lid popped off.

“ – when it’s 4 AM, Mikey, there are no alligators in the –”

Two turtles looked down at Mickey. One had a blue bandana and the other had an orange one. All three of them screamed.

“AAAH! IT’S AN ALLIGATOR!” screamed the orange turtle.

“AAAH! IT HAS TERRIBLE SKINCARE!” screamed the blue turtle.

“AAAH! I’M SCREAMING!” screamed Mickey.

“Okay okay okay!” the blue turtle held up its hands. “Who are you and what are you doing in our pipes?”

“I’m trying to find Evil Emerald!” Mickey said, pulling himself up. “My brother in crime has been badly hurt, and we need help escaping Big Mama’s Battle Nexus!”

The blue turtle sighed. “I knew we should’ve shut that thing down, but Donnie’s got such a soft spot for adults who compliment his genius.”

The orange turtle cocked his head. “Evil Emerald? But we don’t have a turtle named Evil. Or Emerald!”

A turtle dressed in purple popped his head out of a ceiling vent. “Why are we discussing Raph’s villainous alter ego?”

“We need his help! My brother in crime is hurt!”

“RAPH’S INJURED BROTHER SENSES ARE TINGLING!”

A huge red-clad turtle punched his way through the nearest wall.

The blue turtle groaned. “Guys, we just moved into this lair, can we not destroy city infrastructure when it directly affects us?”

Mickey’s face brightened. “Evil Emerald!”

The big turtle scowled. “Oh. Evil Mikey. What do you want?”

“It’s Loathsome Leonard! We haven’t been stealing as much because we’ve been running a dog fighter racket –”

“What,” Mikey said flatly. Suddenly he was somehow much bigger and literally glowing with rage. “You run a dog fighting racket?”

“No-no-no, a dog fighter racket! We take people who make dogs fight, steal their dogs, then put the owners in cage matches to fight each other instead. The racket pays for the dogs’ food and vet bills! We’ve rehabilitated several aggression cases and given them super-cute haircuts!”

The red turtle grimaced. “Raph’s sense of justice is conflicted.”

“Mine isn’t,” the orange turtle said, smiling serenely.

The blue turtle shook his head. “Why does something sound so evil but feel so right?”

The purple turtle extended a metal arm to pat the blue one’s head. “Because morality and legality are not the same thing.”

Evil Emerald’s face set in a determined scowl. “We can’t let those poor doggies go hungry! We gotta help the Mud Dogs!”

“Great! Follow me!” Mickey dove back into the sewer.

Unfortunately, Evil Emerald wouldn’t fit through the pipe, so Mickey followed them to the surface to take a portal back to the hidden city. He kept looking around as they walked. The Human City was so big! And colorful! And way less mystical! He learned all the turtle names. It was so weird that Emerald was calling himself ‘Raph,’ but another alias just showed he was a real bona fide criminal. Definitely trustworthy in Mickey’s book!

Finally, they reached the outer wall of the Battle Nexus.

“How are we gonna get in?” Mickey despaired. “She has guards everywhere, and I don’t see another sewer grate.”

“Oh ye of little mystics,” Leo said smugly, and slashed his sword. A glowing blue portal appeared in the air. It led straight into the Mud Dogs cell. Leonard was still laying on the floor, wheezing harshly. Chaos was curled up next to him, yipping anxiously and turning herself inside-outside-inside-outside. Danny had Leonard’s head pillowed in his lap.

“We’re closer than brothers in crime,” Danny blubbered. “We’re – we’re twins in crime!”

Leonard quirked a grin. “I’m older,” he said, and coughed.

“OMIGOSH!” Mickey and Mikey yelled, and dove through together.

“You guys are so close!” Mikey bawled, tears in his eyes.

“I knew you’d make up eventually!” Mickey cried.

“Doctor Leo in the house!” Leonard announced. “Followed by his own and much cooler twin Donnie! And Raph.”

Danny looked up. “Hey, Evil Emerald! Long time no see!”

Raph grunted. “Danny. Leonard. Where’s Heinous Hank?”

Danny looked around, confused. “Hey. He was JUST here. Chaos, did you see where he went?”

Chaos yipped and pointed to a very large hole in the righthand wall.

Donnie stared at the Mud Dogs, then turned to his brothers. “Gentlemen, I apologize for any and all aspersions cast upon your intelligence.”

Danny scowled at him. “’Eeeey, I understood most’a that! I’ve had my hands full, Mr. Fancy College Degree!”

“Scoff! College is for those who wish to clay in the hands of greedy capitalist corporations!”

Leonardo knelt next to Leonard, stethoscope out and ready. “Ignore him, he plans to attend all the Ivy Leagues simultaneously when he hits 18. Okay, I’ve gotta listen to you breathe for a sec. Inhale, aaaand exhale. One more time?”

“What’s the diagonal, doc?” Mickey asked anxiously.

“He means Diagon Alley,” Mikey corrected.

“I hate all of you,” Donnie muttered.

“About six broken ribs and a nasty concussion. You’re gonna want to be totally lazy for like, six months, minimum.”

“But we still need to find Hank!” Leonard cried.

“Uh, guys?” Raph gestured to the bars across the cell. The squid was waving for their attention. It made a series of odd squiggles with its tentacles.

“Big Mama wants to see us?” Mickey asked.

Mikey looked back and forth. “How’d you guess?”

“Oh, I’m real good at charades!” the eel said proudly.

Raph’s face lit up. “You ARE?!”

“Oh, sure! Hank doesn’t talk much, so we gotta be good! Chewing a brick is his way of saying ‘I love you!’”

“Or ‘I’m hungry,’” Leonard added. “Depends on context.”

Leonardo stood up. “Alright, guys, let’s go see Big Mama.”

The squid burbled at them and blew a series of bubbles. They were grouped together in twos, Mikey with Mickey, Leonard with Leonardo, Donny with Danny, Raph with Chaos. The squid toted them through the dungeons, the servant’s quarters, the vendor guest rooms, the guest rooms, and up to Big Mama’s personal office. The doors were opened by an owl and fox youkai pair. Big Mama sat at her desk in human form, smiling primly. The bubbles popped once they floated inside. Leonardo tried to catch Loathesome Leonard, but he still grunted in agony when his ribs shifted.

Big Mama clicked her tongue. “That’s a nasty wickle bruise, Loathesome! But I have some exciting news. You are all free to go!”

Raph raised an eyebrow. “Just like that?”

“What about Hank?” Mickey demanded.

“What about him, dear?” Big Mama simpered. “I said you are all free to go. Hank, on the other hand…”

She gestured. Hank stepped out from the shadows, looking vaguely nervous. It was not a look Hank’s face was used to making. Big Mama held up a new contract and smiled with all her teeth.

“Hank is my new assistant.”

Part 2

@sariphantom

#rottmnt #rise august #rise august 2024 #rise leo #rottmnt leo #mikey #rise michelangelo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt raph #rise danny #dastardly danny #loathsome leonard #heinous green #malicious mickey #mud dogs #mad dogs #battle nexus #big mama

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hannahhook7744 · 1 year ago

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Stormbringer Crew Incorrect Quotes (Part 3);

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah, reading the isle newspaper: Someone tried to fight a squid at the docs today!

Luke: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

Hannah: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Skia: Stop romanticizing the past.

Hannah: How do I deal with my enemies?

John, Facilier's son: Kill them

Hannah: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution

John, Facilier's son: Kill them only a little?

Treycor: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Hannah, deadpanned: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

Skia, staring dead at him: No.

Luke, dead serious: Mine's two and I definitely can't do it.

River, more serious than anyone's ever seen him: My record is four seconds at most and not at all condensed.

Treycor *face plams*

Darcy, drawing: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!

Treycor, arms crossed: Really? Name one law.

Darcy, staring straight into his eyes after a moment of silence: Don't kill people?

Treycor, pinching the bridge of his nose: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Amira: …This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

Hannah: HELP! I TOLD HAUL I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Darcy, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Darcy: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Treycor: *turning to Luke* How tall are you?

John *laughing his ass off*

Storm Bringers and Core four minus Carlos and Remi *arguing and fighting with one another*

Carlos, looking at his younger brother awardly: So, how are Hunter, Ivy, and Diego doing?

Remi: They're fine. You should write more though.

Treycor, gesturing with his hands: having siblings is werid. It's either—

*gesturing to Alex, Darcy, Hadie, Noah, and Skia* "we ride together, we die together... or... "*gestures to Mal* "No officer, I've never seen that woman before in my life. "

Treycor: there is no in-between.

Isaac, Bill Cypher's son: All right, look, here's the deal. I've got a hangover. Who knows what that means?

Evelyn, Ernesto de la Cruz's kid: It means that you're drunk.

Isaac: No, it means I was drunk yesterday.

Parker, Percival McLeach's son, drunk: FUCK YOU!

Hannah and Treycor:....

Hannah: so, should we just leave him in jail or...?

Treycor, dropping him: yep.

*After they get off the isle and meet Haul*

Peachy, Gothel's daughter: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Remi, Cruella's son: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Noah?

Noah, Hades and Persephone's son: Probably “road work ahead”.

Haul, Anna and Kristoff's son: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Luis: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Eduardo: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Josh: I personally was created in a lab.

James: I just straight up spawned lol

Haul: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this *gestures to the crew fighting*

Joy on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.

Joy on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

Haul: I was voted 'friendliest classmate' in high school.

Joy: I was voted 'most likely to become a clown'…

Amira: You think that’s bad? HA! I was voted 'most likely to get rabies!'

Haul: I'm not that stupid!

Joy: Haul, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

Haul: AMIRA TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

Tommy: Ducks are better than rabbits.

D.E: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks.

Clever: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey.

D.E: We’re not talking about flavor, Clever!

Clever: Flavor counts!

D.E: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone?

Tiger: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier?

D.E: Okay, but-

Tiger: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER?

Clever: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out!

D.E: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, CLEVER!

Clever: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, D.E!

Tommy: I-Jesus-

Clever: What's two plus two?

Tommy: Math.

Clever: ...I will accept that answer.

Tiger, near tears: Please, D.E, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

Tommy: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

Hannah: STOP!

*Everyone stops*

Hannah: wAiT a MiNuTe-

Clever: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Clever: *waves their finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro*

Tiger: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can’t?

D.E: You'll never take me alive!

Darcy: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Luke: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

Hannah: So that’s my plan.

Darcy: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.

Hannah: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Darcy: It fucking sucks.

Hannah: That’s not constructive criticism.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠��🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah: Favorite horror movie?

Luke: It.

Skia: Saw.

Remi: Annabelle.

Peachy: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

Haul: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Hannah: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Haul: Stop.

Haul, to Parker: Hannah likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

Hannah : I have seen a lot of murders in my time, and six of them were today.

Luke: SIX OF THEM?!

Darcy: I feel like doing something stupid.

Luke: I’m stupid, do me.

Hannah: I knew I was gonna regret moving in with you two.

Luke, to Darcy: We had a date!

Luke*aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

Rive : What is wrong with you?!

Luke: Loaded question. Elaborate.

Alex : Did you bring Treycor ?

Skia, gesturing to Darcy: No, but I brought the next best thing.

Alex : Darcy? The next best thing would be Noah.

Darcy: I would be offended, but Noah is freakishly adorable.

John: How do tall people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?

Luis: John, it's four o'clock in the morning.

John: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

John, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.

Luis, entering the room with a small cut on their ankle: Who the f-

Josh*nudges Evelyn at 3am* Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Evelyn ? Wake up, Evelyn ! Listen! They're sexless!

Evelyn : The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.

Eduardo: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.

James: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

Eduardo: Can I have some?

Claudine, mouth full of cheesecake: It's really spicy, you wouldn't like it.

Ginny: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.

Peachy: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Ginny: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

The Gothel twins (Mason and Glenn): Edible.

John: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Hannah: How can you still say that?

John: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Hannah: Haul... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Haul: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Hannah:

Hannah: I wrote sanitize, Haul.

Noah: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?!

Haul: Anything, honestly, but pirates especially.

Noah, desperately, as Haul bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE!

Haul: Oh! B positive.

Noah: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE!

Haul:..

Luke: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

Hannah: you have to be good at lying to be a politician, carrot top.

Luke: Not true! Just look at Beast! He can't lie for shit and his hair is shit but people still listen to him!

Parker: You know how I roll.

Parker: And I’m not talking about that time I fell into a pile of dung at the foot of a hill.

John: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you.

James: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

John: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

Hannah: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Josh: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

Evelyn: Josh no—

Evelyn wielding a fork and tired of everyone's shit: Try me bitch—

#descendants #disney descendants #melissa de la cruz #disney #wicked world #descendants au #disney descendants au #descendants alternate universe #disney descendants alternate universe #descendants oc #disney descendants oc #disney descendants original characters #the marvelous misadventures of hannah hook and co #etc #descendants incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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thecheshirerat · 1 year ago

Text

Dear Aubrey

(danbrey fic for @tazsapphicweek ! this has been so fun. I'll put it on AO3 if anyone wants, but idk how collections work. also the prompt was technically "home" but I've done like three based on that prompt so...)

Dear Aubrey,

Do you know how many casserole dishes I’ve washed for the privilege of control over the TV? Jake said that if I keep putting on Supernatural I’ll owe him three bags of the fancy squid chips he likes just for his suffering.

That’s not it.

Dear Aubrey,

I’ve been watching Supernatural. You were right, it’s pretty good.

Dammit.

No.

Dear Aubrey,

They didn’t have TV shows in Sylvain. You know that. You’ve been there. But of the three that I’ve encountered so far, Supernatural seems pretty good. Definitely better than streaming old episodes of America's Test Kitchen, which is all Barclay wants to watch.

FUCK.

Dear Aubrey,

Do you know how many perfectly good sketchbook pages I’ve spent, trying to draft a proper letter to you?

I know you’re not, like. Living far away. You’re going to be back in a few hours, actually, probably, unless you’re killed, but I don’t think you will be, and then you’ll eat something terrible for you and pass out like, two floors above me.

Maybe I could pass this to you through the vents.

Did you know that passing notes between bunk beds is common to both our worlds? Sometimes I imagine you’re in the bunk above me, and we could just, talk. In the darkness. About everything.

The truth is, I’ve got a lot to say. But you’re not here, so I’m writing it down. In my sketchbook. I really should buy a notebook or something.

Goddamnit.

I could’ve sketched so many cedar branches on this.

Dear Aubrey,

This is going to sound insane, but you smell like home. A little smoky, a little like flash-paper, but there’s also this strong ginger smell. That part is familiar. It’s orange and spicy and makes my teeth flinch in their illusion.

When you walked by the other day it felt like every spark of heat in my body rushed towards you, like there’s a current between us. What do you guys call it, bird bumps?

For a moment, I was just, frozen. And then you looked over my shoulder at the vase of flowers I was drawing and said something like, “Oh my gosh, that’s so cool!” And you joked that I could make hundreds of dollars online if I drew Deacon Winchester. Your hand brushed my shoulder, and all the warmth came back, just like that.

I’ve never felt anything like it.

Well, I have. You know about the crystal, right? It felt kind of like touching that.

God, Dani. Don’t bring that into this.

Dear Aubrey,

I’ve spent so long trying not to stand out.

I can have my identity, so long as it's quiet enough that no one looks too closely.

I can doodle on the cover of my sketchbook. I can be the quirky alt girl who doesn’t have her license at the age of… what age do I tell people. I don’t even remember. I can stare into the mirror, smiling at the freckles that show up on my nose, and people will forgive me for not wearing makeup, but they can’t see my skin when it glows, they can’t see my teeth. They must never see my teeth.

You, on the other hand. Your flashy gestures, your vibrant hair, your jacket that you can barely see under all the pins. When you walk, they clink, alerting people (people whose skin didn’t tingle the moment you arrived, people who are not me) that you’re here. You’ve got an identity strong and colorful enough to be armor. You wear your teeth on the outside.

I want to know what’s under all that. Not to be- nevermind.

I want to know what it’s all protecting.

Or maybe, it’s protecting us.

Dear Aubrey,

I miss Sylvain a lot.

It’s hard to describe the feeling of missing your former planet. It’s like an ache, but sharper. It’s hard, and scratchy, and it eats a cavern inside of me. It’s empty in here. It tingles. My pain chimes, and the chimes echo.

It chafes at you, when the world you’re in is not yours. I don’t belong here, and Earth has no qualms about reminding me. Alien customs. Alien holidays. Alien people, but… not so much you.

It went away, the other day, when you touched me. Just for a second, I was full.

In that second, I felt so free. I felt so untethered. I felt like I could go and be anywhere as long as it was with you. So, not untethered. Re-tethered.

Sometimes I imagine there’s a string between us, and when I see you fidgeting with your fingers, it’s being pulled, looped and tied. I want you to make me into jewelry, to set me around your neck. I want to swing there, next to that gemstone you always wear. I want your heartbeat to warm my skin.

To be a vampire is to know that you are empty, and that other people fill you up.

Here you are, with all this vitality. If I soaked myself in it, if I tucked myself like a bunny rabbit into your arms, if I bottled up vials of flame to warm my bath and make my tea, would you even notice? I don’t want to hurt anyone. Sometimes I feel like I’m scraping away at the walls of a cave inside me, and one day my willpower will collapse. I keep shoring up my inhibitions.

Why does it feel like I’ve awoken from the most restful sleep of my life after talking to you? Why do I feel relieved when you brush my arm? I just want to close my eyes. I want to take off this disguise. I want to follow you.

God, I barely even know you.

This is so weird. I’m sorry.

Dear Aubrey,

I have one episode left of season five of Supernatural. I thought I’d take your advice about stopping there. And now I get the joke you made about chevy impalas!

Do you want to watch the last episode together?

Love,

Sincerely,

Yours,

Dani <3

PS: See on the back my drawing of Dr. Harris Bonkers :)

#THE REASON ITS DEACON WINCHESTER IS A REFERENCE TO TAZ SPIRITBREAKERS I THINK ITD BE REALLY FUNNY IF THEY WERE THE SAME UNIVERSE #anyway #strongly considered drawing dr harris bonkers to accompany this and then attaching it to the post but if I do that it'll be not right now #cheshi squeaks #danbrey #aubrey little #taz #taz amnesty #taz dani #taz sapphic week

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kirshimadenkisero · 4 months ago

Text

things my friends have said, a collection (ft a couple quotes from shows/games) ((credits to my best friend for compiling them for me))

for privacy reasons i’ve censored the names

“Haha suck it (random name)!” (not entirely sure where this one came from so i’m guessing they’re talking about someone they know??)

“Smells like sour cream depression”

“I’m busy being gay”

“Birbs get bitches”

“Yes. I kill joe Biden”

“You simply have less value”

“You are a coffee bean”

“I will go full frog mode on your bitchass-“

“I don’t know how to eat abbles-“

(PS: he was eating a fukin pear 😀)

“WAIT- GERMAN SHEPHERDS ARE GERMAN?!”

(offers grapes) “Sure, as long as they aren’t grape flavored”

“I’m a bitch and I’m a stitch”

“My brother is immune to getting r a n o v e r b y c a r s . . .”

“He now look like a wet rat and smell like cucumber”

“Tao Su looks like British Justin Bieber”

“#LockedUpForLife”

“He put his heart and soul into that dance”

“DO I HEAR A FUCKING MICROWAVE???”

“merry birthing”

“You stole kids candy, prepare to meet Jesus”

“Material gworl💅✨🏳️‍🌈”

“I bet it was the Shrek DVD…”

“I now know what I’m gonna get you for Christmas… t h e r a p y”

“the lake is thirsty…”

“IS STEVEN JESUS?!?!”

“where did his child go???”

“You are a spineless pretzel-“

“ŠTÄÇŸ MØVË!!!”

“Hey is that plane outside my window getting bigger???”

“Kneecaps gone. Insurance? Gieco.”

“Hippty Hoppity, get off my property”

“Are you getting your clothes from the back of Spencer’s??”

“My second wish would be a Mary Poppins bag full of fresh garlic bread”

“THERE COULD ONLY BE ONE!!”

“Mice and vanilla deer fries”

“DONALD DUCK IS THAT YOU?!!?!”

“Was that a deer??”

“Steve what are you doing here?? WHY ARE YOU IN MY LUNCHBOX-“

“I’m here to sell your kidneys”

“I ŁÏVĘ ĪÑ THË WÆTĖR!”

“Excuse me. That’s my front lawn you’re talking to.”

“I DONT KNOW I CANT COUNT 🥲”

“Why don’t I have no fingers…. (friend), did you steal my fingers again???”

“That notification sound sounded delicious. Absolutely exquisite 🤌🏽”

“Is water wet???”

“Water is crazy, you can boil in it, you can drown in it, yet we need it to survive”

“That just sounded like my sisters spine at 3:00AM 💀”

“THERES POISONOUS SKUNKS. THEY’RE MULTIPLYING AAAAAAAA”

“It’s supposed to be hot cocoa but it’s looks

s u s s y-“

“2020 part 4”

“YUO MAMMA’D YOUR LAST MIA”

“Bestie, I love you but calm down about the raisins 😀”

“I'm not alive🧍🏻‍♀️”

“Bro got sent to the shadow realm-“

“Quickly, hide the stock before the landlord finds us!!”

“Make the taxidermy dance...”

“Philza, you haven’t been collecting my wood have you?”

“ITS PHILZA MINECRAFT!! HES IN MY MINECRAFT SERVER!!!”

“I DONT KNOW, GRAB A BROWNIE OR SOMETHING.”

“What the fuck is a Spinosaurus, a dinosaur with a spine???”

“Oh, it’s weed boy”

“Hippity hops, ima call the cops 😀”

“Be right back, gotta go walk my fish-“

“WHY IS THE DOOR WALKING??”

“I gotta go fold the dishes”

“You just haven’t mastered the spoon yet”

“He wouldn’t know, he’s a pencil 😄”

“Do you see the screen? Are you sure you aren’t deaf-“

“That wasn’t powder on that donut…”

“NAPOLEON III IS A PATHETIC IDIOT WHO GETS NO BITCHES”

“My sister just brought me a penguin, and it threw up crayons”

“He’s a closeted American”

“You ain’t scared of the ocean until you see a t-posing squid”

“Ah women”

“Did Youtube find out I was religious???”

“Where’s my 15% off you rip off midget dinosaur”

“It would be funny if he choked and died” (i would like to mention this was said by my friend’s teacher)

“Don’t come to the circus tomorrow Ragatha”

“No, you aren’t a loser, you’re just colorblind”

“BOMBBB-“

“Call me a triple A battery, cause I have Anxiety, ADHD, and Autism!!”

“Bro became a vacuum cleaner 😭”

“I HATE SPLASH MOUNTAINNN!1!1!!!1!!”

“Fuck it, we ball 🏀”

“IF I RUN FAST ENOUGH, THE VOICES CANT CATCH UP”

“RED ENVELOPE FROM GRANDMA!?!? THAT MEANS MONEY!!!”

“It’s called neighbors, we are allowed to have them”

“So what. He can eat spaghetti out of his eyes”

“she wishes a broken leg upon you”

“Me and my crayons can do this shit anymore”

“Swaggy animal cruelty”

“I will temporarily sue you and your family”

“Yeehaw that motherfucker”

“Oh wow, I just killed two people”

“Whitey Kitey is MAD”

“So imagine me trying to break human skin 🥰”

“John Doe is a he/him lesbian”

“He got them string cheese bangs”

“Alas, for this is an example of the pain I must go through with this curse of immortality. Though I may never have my final breath, the price is eternal suffering”

“Cause they’ll think you’re all German Nazis who are trying to do a poison delivery”

“His birthday is on April 1st. His birthday is a joke”

“I WILL BURN YOUR COOPERATION INTO THE GROUND IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO”

“IM GOING TO SKIN THE OWNER OF RITZ ALIVE”

“A woman, in her late thirties, wearing a school issued swimsuit. Worst of all, she was rocking it” - Rae Taylor

“Isn’t your life already crumbling apart”

“ITS A FORBIDDEN MIXTURE”

“IM ON THE PODIUMMMMM”

“WHAT IS THIS. I DONT SPEAK BAGUETTE”

“Peaceful yuri in the wild”

“Buddy, I’m in normal math. Compact math people are CRACKED-“

“I CAN SEE THE AUTISM IN HIS EYES”

“Bro looks both ways when he crosses the street unwillingly”

“I don’t care when you deliver them to me. Expiration dates don’t matter to me-“

“Friendship levels?? More like Yuri levels.”

“YOU BETTER FUCKING PRAY CEO OF MAX”

“Okay I admit it. I’m guilty of slave ownership”

“She sounds like a starving Victorian child 😭”

“Now go adventurer, and have this. A gun.”

“I will paper cut your eyes in your sleep”

“THEN IM GOING FOR THAT BITCHASS WHORE AUTOCORRECT”

“HER PANTS WOULD BE ON FIRE RIGHT NOWW”

“I just want to have a friendly conversation with him, me, and my gun”

“IM GONNA TURN THE OWNER OF CHICK-FIL-A INTO ROASTED CHICKEN”

“DUDE HES GOING THROUGH A MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND YOURE TALKING ABOUT TACOS”

“DAMNNIT BUBBLE I TOLD YOU THAT INVADING IRAQ WAS A BAD IDEA”

“If my dog doesn’t shut the fuck up after three strikes I will yell at her in less passive and more aggressive German.”

“Buenos días fuckboy”

“Wow, (friends name)-censorship”

“ITS NOT A PHASE MOM, BEING AN ORANGE EMO TRACK RUNNER IS MY PERSONALITY!!!!!!!1!1!1!1!”

“Oh my days, my Cheeto is turning into a cheese puff”

“I love my emo son”

“Listen, I’m not gay. That’s only on Thursdays”

“I just went up there for a bandaid and I got her toes?!!?!!”

“What did he do to deserve becoming a pretzel berry”

“I HATE YOU DREDNAW. YOU WILL BECOME AN ORPHAN ON THE STREETS”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he burned down a convenience store, but yeah he’s nice”

“No, it’s only a very late abortion”

“THIS IS WHY GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL”

“God damn it’s genetic 😨”

“It’s crustier than William Afton”

“Well, I’m gonna die anyway but red would be pretty cool”

“Not a gram of hetero blood in their veins”

“Oh the law? That’s not a thing”

“POLLINATE MY BROTHER IN HONEY”

“Do I look like I speak Beepanese?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not even legally allowed to have this-“

“He looks like if god sniffed a line of coke and then tried to recreate Squirtle from memory” (talking about chewtle)

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systemic-dreams · 11 months ago

Note

Karlach has a happy ending. Going to find a fix for her engine with her best friend(s)/potential lover? Fun. The epilogue party even mentions that they have a lead on a fix if she goes with Wyll. Just because it's not explicitly shown on screen in a 2 minute long cutscene doesn't mean she doesn't get to be happy.

lol, you went on anon to give me this milquetoast take?

I don't even know what you're responding to.

Maybe you should get together with some friends and play Dungeons and Dragons?

I recommend Descent into Avernus which is the campaign that canonically takes place before and leads into the events of Baldur's Gate 3. It features our favourite damsel in distress and Wizard of the Coast's favourite punching bag - Grand Duke Ulder Ravengard, aka Wyll's dad. With a guest appearance by the Archdevil Zariel, whose Evil Minion you can become. Get experience first hand of how not fun Hell can be for people like Karlach by enlisting in Zariel's army today! Well, not today, because the first leg of the campaign will take a few sessions.

Without getting into spoilers, I can tell you that some very interesting stuff happens in the lead up to bg3. None of it really makes me believe that Karlach is going to have 'fun' or 'be happy' during her time in Hell. But it will probably make for a good novel. Hopefully they don't kill her off.

Oh, and this ending you're talking about was only made available after Patch #5 (Nov 30th 2023). It was explicitly released in response to fandom complaints that there was no happy ending for Karlach so... I guess it worked? If randos are coming out of the woodwork to tell me she gets a happy ending. Though, I question the choice to send her back into Hell when you had the Gondians and the Ironhands who could make City Watch robots and blackpowder bombs. Could they not fix her engine maybe? With one of their engines. That seems like a plot hole.

If that's not an option, what about asking for Divine Intervention from one of the party's many Gods? Or, you could do Resurrection when Karlach does die since you get that spooky Thay Grimoire and unlock its secrets in Sorcerous Sundries. Or maybe you could do Reincarnation since we have twO druids in the party for some reason.

Polymorph? High level polymorph anyone?

You could go to Waterdeep and talk to the Wizards? Elminster could get off his lazy cheese-loving ass and do something? Like cast a Wish spell? How about an item that casts a Wish spell? You could go on a quest for that. Or, what if, get this, you could bargain with Raphael, for Karlach's freedom? 🙃I think I would actually give him the tadpole for that one.

Anyway, I still think there's no true happy ending yet but maybe they'll patch that in too. Act 3 needed a lot more polish imo. And I don't think anyone should be turned into a squid if they don't want to be.

#bg3 spoilers

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noneknxws · 2 years ago

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The NK Purpled Backstory™️

my friends are tired of me chattering about this in their dms so I’m putting it here /lh

—

Purpled’s parents dropped him at Hypixel. They dipped. Didn’t want a kid. So he was picked up by the system, trained until he was eight, and sent into the smaller games with a trainer (the system called them mentors, but no one actually used that) watching his every move.

he’s been through a few trainers, as is custom with the Hypixel system. you cycle through so you don’t gain attachments. his kindest trainer, X, knew everything about bedwars. Purpled was half-convinced he made the game, but he never got to ask before it cycled again.

weekends are the only free time you get in Hypixel. he meets with tiredtwt through running into two kids trying to corner him, who quickly become his friends. every weekend he goes back to tiredtwt- he isn’t even sure why, he swears he isn’t attached. It’s him, Eighty, Chaz, Walli and Sammy. Then Astelic, Hannah, Levi, David, Boomer, Jojo, Squid and.. a lot more, he realizes. a lot of people who care about him.

it’s been amazing, the past few years with the group they’ve made. it’s all leading up to stay that way. until he’s at a game and it’s a 1v1- extra money, if you get out alive. he knows he has this bagged until he realizes it’s Walli, it’s Walli he’s against. it’s Walli, who’s begging Purpled to win, to get the money they need for tiredtwt. for their friends- or, really, their family.

Walli cant kill Purpled. Purpled is at the top of the leaderboard, and both boys know everyone’s bets are on the blonde to win. they know that Hypixel cheats, that Walli won’t make it anyway. Purpled’s numb, but he’s faintly aware of the tears running down his face. That’s his first brother figure gone.

and he’s dragged into the higher system again. he can’t go back, both because of Hypixel and the guilt. (second brother figure gone!) and he meets Punz. they’re like a brother to him, which is a bit ironic as how trainers aren’t supposed to be that. he tries not to think about anything again. he’s an attraction and he may as well act like one. he figures out how to appeal to the viewers, with a sarcastic personality that’s still fun to watch. he’s been earning his own for years, what’s so different about now?

he overhears talk about a new server, made by a famous speedrunner. he knows Punz is friends with Dream, and surely has an invite pending, so when he spots Dream online in a lobby with his little team, he challenges them to a fight. he wins, they let him in. he needs an out, he needs to get out of here as soon as possible. he wins the matches, of course, and gets into the DreamSMP.

he wonders, a few years later to joining, if he’d have preferred Hypixel now. after everything. after realizing he’s stuck here, just as he was before.

—

COUGH yeah I really like this dude’s backstory that I made up (with some help from a few fics)

@10piecechickenmcnugget you unleashed the world building demon in my mind how tf did I think all of this

#yeah #purpled #c!purpled #dsmp #dsmp headcanon #tiredtwt #but canon!#wallibear #Punz #i could go ON about how Hypixel works here #zayumn I really went off #also also also #if Google didn’t lie to me #Xisuma is X #:D

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berylcups · 8 months ago

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La Squadra Splatoon AU/Crossover Pt 1 of 2

Hey Beryl here! And this is the beginning of my JJBA junk. 🤡 I didn’t proofread it so don’t expect perfection. I thought a good 1st writing prompt would be what would these blood thirsty hitman be like in a children’s shooter game full of squid kids-rules are all weapons specials subs etc… are allowed from splatoon 1-3. None of these kits are balanced, these are just based off what I thought their stands would translate into game wise. Let me know if you’re interested in hearing about the rest of the gang and or having bucci gang done too. I wanna see if this is something people are interested in before I delve deeper into. Please enjoy ~

Risotto:

Ink/Octoling: Inkling

Species type: Hawaiian bobtail squid- the parasites that live in this squids body makes for great camouflage.

Ink color: gunmetal grey

Weapon: Blaster - quick, gets the job done, this leader has his priorities straight.

Sub weapon: ink mines - don’t think you can sneak up on him, he’s 2 -3 steps ahead of his opponents. A mine sets off behind him and he knows to 180 and start blasting.

Special: wave breaker - it’s great for him to find his other stealthy opponents and it’s a great distraction as he blasts whoever is trying to tear down his wave breaker.

Play style: He camps and waits for his enemies to show up, and then BAM! The damage has already been done, and you’re waiting to respawn. He doesn’t worry about painting, that’s what his teammates are for. He’s in it for the kill count. And you bet he has ninja squid as 1 of his abilities. As the leader, he won’t hesitate to help out a teammate in peril. Those are his men and he will fight to the death for them…of course he can just respawn. It’s not like real life getting blown to bits by a meddling drone *gives Nara the stink eye 😒 *

Formaggio:

Ink/Octoling: Octoling

Species type: Atlantic Pygmy Octopus - tiny but full of poison

Ink color: Rust

Weapon: Clash Blaster - a user friendly weapon and can be the user can be underestimated by it. But the cheesyman uses this to his advantage…also to add some salt to the wound that you got splatted with a “noob” weapon

Sub weapon: suction bomb

Special: ultra stamp- what isn’t there to love? He gets to crush his enemies with a massive ass hammer! He loves making his opponents feel small.

Play style: this stinker likes to pretend to be a complete noob. He’ll lure you in with a false sense of security and then start blasting. Or he’ll throw a faux squid party with a teammate or two and then straight up ambush you when you thought you were just there for some light hearted shenanigans. He’s a “nice” guy, so he won’t squid bag you, but he’ll definitely join in when he sees others doing it! It’s just a game don’t take it so seriously! 🤡

Illuso:

Ink/Octoling: Octoling

Species type: Mimic octopus - mimics other species… it’s like looking into a mirror!

Ink color: plum

Weapon: Carbon roller - great at inking , great at ambushing. It has everything he could ever want. Smack you from behind with the roller twice or throw a bomb in there and you’re done for!

Sub weapon: burst bomb

Special: big bubbler - it’s not as secure as the mirror realm but it’s good protection to keep enemy ink out. Unless someone has the balls to go in there and splat him at close range… he may have not of thought this completely through…

Play style: sneak attacker and a well known camper. he has the audacity to camp near your spawn point and kill you over and over again. Also will 100% squid/octobag after every kill because he’s a big jerk. 😒 also has ninja squid equipped. Go utilize the haunt ability to track his octo-ass down and give him a taste of his own medicine!

Prosciutto:

Ink/Octoling: inkling

Species type: vampire squid - despite the name, not really a vampire. But they live the longest amongst the others- roughly 10 years vs 1-2 years.

Ink color: goldenrod

Weapon: squeezer- perfect for splatting and inking for this no nonsense man! He’s going to utilize every bit of his kit.

Sub weapon: toxic mist

Special: ink storm or splatter color screen - you can’t age your opponent’s but you can sure weaken them as much. Damaging them gradually with a storm or disorienting them with losing their sense of color it makes them easier to pick off!

Play style: weaken the enemy at all costs and don’t back down! The weaker the better but he won’t hesitate to fight someone at his level or even higher - his reputation depends on it.

#jjba #splatoon #la squadra #jjba part 5 #splatoon 3 #jjba x reader #risotto nero #illuso #formaggio #prosciutto #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo risotto #jojo prosciutto #jojo illuso #jojo formaggio #jjba x gn!reader #jjba x gn reader #jjba x gender neutral reader

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doovild · 2 years ago

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Listen dove if we go against each other again in splatoon, I will not be killed by you’re ult and yea bagged

You and winter shouldn't have squid bagged me and I wouldn't have gotten aggressive u-u

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nyxvaledoeswriting · 1 year ago

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FFXIVWrite Day 13: Check

AO3 Link

Everyone checks up on Nyx after the events of 6.4

“This is your mandatory weekly welfare check!” Came a yell at the door before it burst open.

Nyx practically jumped out of his seat, gripping the arms of his chair tightly. He’d been on edge ever since what they saw in the 13th. One thing that Nyx absolutely despised was waiting around. While he was smart, he was much much better at killing things. And Y’shtola told him they couldn’t kill Zeromus yet without more information.

As soon as Nyx saw who was entering his room, he willed his body to relax. There wasn’t any news, it was just his friends. They were checking on him. They all insisted on checking on him at least once a week after realizing just how bad his PTSD had become. Sometimes they would surprise him in the middle of the night, sometimes they would bring him dinner. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t grateful for all they did.

“You didn’t have to break down my door, a knock would’ve sufficed,” Nyx pointed out with a dramatic roll of his eyes.

“Estinien loves to break down doors though! It would be unfair to him not to!” Alisaie teased as she set down a paper bag that Nyx assumed had delicious food in it.

“I’m not the one who burst through the door. I do not get said privilege anymore,” Estinien rumbled with a small smile.

“Because last time you broke one door off the hinges. Vrtra was annoyed and impressed at the same time,” Alphinaud reminded him with a twinkle in his eyes.

“It was quite the sight to behold,” G’raha added with a laugh.

“I’m glad you all find my strength amusing. Now, we did come here for a reason, correct? Or did you all plan on poking fun at me all night?” Estinien questioned with narrowed eyes.

“I don’t know, poking fun at you is always a good time,” Nyx butted in as he stood up to stretch.

“I think I’ll go back to training,” Estinien replied as he turned around on his heel and started to leave.

“Does that mean we get to eat your portion of dried squid? I certainly won’t complain about that,” Alphinaud called out as Estinien stepped over the threshold of the door.

A series of giggles erupted from the room as Estinien halted, grumbled something under his breath, and turned back around to enter the room once more.

“You will do no such thing,” he muttered out as he sat down at the table and started to open the paper bag.

“Believe it or not, Estinien was the one to suggest that we come check up on you. That man can be such a worry wart when it comes to you,” Alisaie stated, beaming up at Nyx.

“Yes, only after you talked my ear off about how concerned you were about Nyx. That is why I suggested we check on him,” Estinien retorted as he pulled out a bag of dried squid and opened it up.

Nyx couldn’t help but let out a laugh at their banter, taking a seat next to Estinien. As his laughter died down, Nyx took a moment just to soak in his surroundings. He found himself… relaxed. To be surrounded by friends, to enjoy their company and forget everything that’s happened recently.

“Nyx? Is everything alright?” G’raha asked as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

A smile eased its way onto Nyx’s features and he put his hand over G’raha’s.

“Never been better. Thank you guys.”

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vanillaarts · 2 years ago

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A thing I wrote with Adrian and @lilium2034s OCs Fidus and Amicus

The couple walked through the woods, not knowing at all the direction they were going in. Amicus looked at their surroundings, feeling peaceful, as this beautiful forest felt quite safe in a way.

Fidus, however, looked around the thick forest, looking for anything that could be hiding, waiting to attack him or his love.

In the distance, there was the sound of a branch snapping. Fidus quickly turned towards it, a hand moving to the end of his axe. He saw a flash of purple and immediately sprang after it, tackling a tall illager, wearing a long purple vest and holding a large leather bag.

Fidus kneeled over the tall illager and held the axe at his face.

“WHO ARE YOU?!?!” He yelled.

“Man I didn’t mean to scare you I just-“

“WHY WERE YOU FOLLOWING US?!?!”

“I wasn’t following you!”

“Then why were you behind us?” Fidus drew the razor sharp edge of his axe closer to his face. Amicus came up to the commotion.

“Wrong place wrong time.” The illager said, “Don’t kill me I-“

“Are you hunting us?”

“What?! No! Just don’t take me to your tribe… I- please. I don’t want to be killed.”

“We don’t have a tribe.” Amicus said sadly. The illager looked at him curiously.

“Why are you dressed like you are, then?”

“We’re exiles.”

“You too?”

“You’re one as well?”

“Been without a proper tribe since I was fifteen. Aaaaaand… You guys look lost. You need any help?”

Amicus agreed to get his help and made Fidus get off of this new guy.

“I’m Amicus, and this is Fidus.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Adrian.”

They shook hands.

~~~

That night, Fidus remained awake, deciding to take the first watch. This Adrian guy was a nomad apparently, so they had to spend the night out in the open.

He didn’t fully trust Adrian yet, so he decided to quietly look through his stuff to make sure has was not dangerous to Amicus.

His love did seem to trust Adrian, so he went along with it.

He looked through the bag, and pulled out a tiny glass vial. Inside was a needle with a thick green liquid.

‘Poison?’ Fidus asked himself, putting the vial into his pocket. ‘Why would a guy like this have poison?’

~~~

That morning, Amicus awoke to Fidus sharpening his axe, leaning against a tree, and Adrian worriedly rummaging through his bag, murmuring to himself.

“Good morning… hey, what are you looking for?” He asked, already curious to Adrians worry.

“I had a tiny vial in here somewhere, have you seen it? Do you know what happened to it?” He asked. Fidus knew exactly where it was, but said nothing.

“What does it look like?” Amicus asked, figuring it was something important.

“It’s glass, and has a needle in it. The stuff in the needle is green. It’s dripleaf extract.” Fidus looked up as soon as Adrian described it because he stole it, seeing it as dangerous.

“Why did you have that?” He asked Adrian, fiddling with the vial in his pocket.

“Dripleaf is a great allergy cure as you guys probably know. I , as a matter of fact, am deathly allergic to bees, and yeah I don’t want to be out in the wilderness without it. It’s not much, but it would be enough to help me rush to a village or find someone.”

Fidus’ heart stopped.

“So it’s not poison?!”

“No…? Why would I keep poison when I literally travel alone in the forest?” Adrian asked.

Fidus, ashamed, pulled it out of his pocket.

“I’m sorry. I just thought it was.”

Adrian snatched it back.

“Why would you take it?!”

“I thought it was poison. Look, I’m sorry, I just didn’t trust you that quickly.”

Adrian glared at Fidus before putting it back in his bag.

“Listen. There is no way I’m dropping you guys off at Squid Coast, so I can guide you through here to another village, or I can bring you guys to a road.”

Amicus and Fidus looked at each other.

“Maybe just a road. We don’t have good experiences with villages.” Amicus felt unhappy, thinking about getting hit with the rock.

“Alright then. This forest is huge, so I’d recommend coming with me. Also, the village of Orion is pretty chill with illagers, so if you ever want to put your feet up somewhere, it’s pretty safe to stay there.”

The three went on their way, Amicus and Adrian chatting up a storm, Fidus walking in the back like protector.

#minecraft oc #Fidius and Amicus #i love these dudes #illager ocs #I hope I wrote them accurately because I’m not sure I did #Adrian #mc adrian #Amicus my beloved

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killuaisaprincess · 2 years ago

Text

🍏

“I was so scared I would lose you, Killua.”

He doesn’t know… what’s going on… it feels like he’s still falling into a bottomless abyss, even as he scrunches his fingers up into the hospital sheet.

This wasn’t… The plan…

Yet… he’s staring at his best friend beside his bedside while squid-octopus talks outside with the owner…?

He isn’t sure… his head…

Fuzzy…

But there’s a spark of anger at Gon’s words. He shouldn’t relish in the fact that Gon was scared he was going to die… it’s wrong… but… but… time and time… Gon says he’s allowed to die, but Killua isn’t… and he does reckless things… and Killua is always scared…

He’s drowning in it.

“You jerk!“

He balls his hand up, hitting Gon in the chest, ignoring the pain that shoots through it, choking on a sob.

“You were scared? You selfish! Jerk! You only think of yourself!”

The hot rage in his veins is nothing compared to the tidal wave of despair and fear.

“I-I’ve been nothing but scared! I don’t know what to do… I can’t do anything to help you!”

Not even with this…

“I’m so scared… you selfish…”

His head hurts. His heart is splitting in two, and his lungs ache, trying to get even a gasp of air between heaves.

“I don’t wanna lose you! I-I don’t… want you to hate me… but I’m helpless! Useless!”

Pain. Every crashing sob makes his head throb more, pulsating hot pressure.

He leans down, pressing his forehead to the white sheet, gasping.

“Even Palm is more useful than me!”

So if he shatters the delicate balance, Gon will hate him.

But if he doesn’t…

“I know I’m not your most important person! I’m not Kite.. I’m not your stupid-ugh! Dad!”

But…

“So what does it matter what I want…?”

When has it ever mattered?

“B-But! Please don’t go!” Don’t die! “For K-Kite…”

“Killua.”

His blood runs cold, his breath leaving his lips in a whimper.

He doesn’t want to… he doesn’t wanna look! Maybe he wants to be selfish!

He can’t… see Gon’s eyes so cold…

“I knew something was wrong.”

Huh…?

He slowly uncurls his fingers from the sheet, lifting his head carefully, his slight frame racking with tremors.

Killua sits up slowly; he can’t swallow it down… the lump in his throat.

Gon’s hand is balled up in a fist, and Killua flinches.

He closes his eyes, looking away, waiting for the impact.

Gon’s knuckles gently tap his head, and Killua opens his eyes cautiously, tears slipping past.

Gon pulls his hand away, and Killua reaches up, touching his forehead where Gon “hit”.

It tingles, and he stares dumbfounded at Gon, sniffing.

“Killua.”

Gon slings his backpack off his shoulder, placing it at the foot of the bed.

“I win! This is sorta like an I told you so thing, right? I knew something was wrong.”

Gon sits down, gently pulling Killua closer, and Killua collapses into Gon’s arms, his head hitting Gon’s sternum.

“Killua…”

Gon wraps an arm around his shoulder, grabbing his bag with his free hand.

He rummages inside, revealing familiar and comforting colors. Killua stares at the cute box of chocorobots, confusion flitting across his face.

“C-choco…?”

He trails off, and Gon smiles at him.

“Oh, and this.”

Gon reaches in, fumbling around, sticking his tongue out in concentration.

He places it gently in Killua’s hand, and Killua stares. The special edition robot…

“I told you I didn’t…”

He gently pokes it, tears pricking his eyes, putting it on the pillow.

“Killua.”

He doesn’t even notice Gon has been messing with some ply wire; his bag thrown carelessly to the side, until he can feel Gon grab his free hand.

“You are my most important person.”

W-what?

He can’t register the cold of the metal slipping over his ring finger, not just because of the bandages…

What… no…

The chocorobt falls from his other hand, the clatter not even registering in his ears.

Gon can’t…

“I-I’m sorry, Gon, I-I can’t…”

Killua so tenderly takes the ring off his finger, tears welling up in his eyes as he plays with it. It’s not a real ring, but it’s the meaning behind it.

He can see Gon’s heart shatter as he says those words, and it only makes a sob leave Killua’s lips.

“I-I promised… I already promised Bisky I would leave… long before this… I don’t belong with you. I don’t deserve you…”

Killua holds out the ring for Gon to take back, sniffling and keeping his head tilted down, only catching a reflection of the hurt and confusion in Gon’s eyes.

“Everyone is right. I’ve been told my whole life over and over I don’t deserve friends. She thinks I’ll leave you to die.”

It doesn’t matter how many times he pierces his head or tries to get rid of the feeling; he’s still terrified. What if it’s true…?

“I-I’m sorry…”

“What?”

Gon’s voice sounds so cold. Like it has recently that it makes Killua freeze, shaking.

“Killua.”

His voice goes soft in an instant, and Gon takes his hand and curls his fingers up, so he is holding the ring.

“It’s good that they’re wrong, then. You’re not my friend. You’re my fiancé.”

The air leaves his lungs, and he looks up slowly, lower lip trembling and hot tears falling onto his cheeks, eyes wide. Gon’s are watering too, and he uncurls Killua’s fingers gently, taking the ring and placing it on his finger again.

“And they’re wrong.”

Gon grabs his arms, trying not to press too harshly and hurt him, pulling him close and burying his nose in Killua’s hair, hugging him closer.

“You’re my light, Killua. You’re kind and beautiful, and selfless. None of them know you. Not like me. I was so scared- you…”

Killua curls his fingers up in Gon’s jacket, sobbing softly into his chest.

“Killua. Marry me right now. It’s-It’s what Kite would want. H-he wouldn’t want me to-to do this… he’d w-want…”

Killua gently tucks his arms under Gon’s armpits, resting his dainty fingers on his shoulders and hugging him back.

“O-okay, you idiot…”

Gon pulls away slowly, reaching down and cupping Killua’s cheeks with his hands, wiping his tears away with the pad of his thumbs.

“You can wear the dress Abe wore… and we can celebrate in the forest so Kon can come…”

He pulls Killua into his lap, cradling him close.

Killua smiles softly, nuzzling his head against Gon’s chest.

“Kite will be there too, Gon… in spirit… and we can tie your stupid old man up, so he can’t escape.”

“Mmm…”

Gon slowly reaches around Killua, grabbing an edge of the hospital sheet, pulling it up, and resting it on the crown of Killua’s head, smiling.

“What are you doing, idiot?“

Killua huffs, but it’s only filled with endearment.

“It’s your veil.”

Gon grins, leaning down and softly kissing Killua on the lips.

“Are you cold? Killua, you’re shaking.”

Gon gently takes one of his wrists, and Killua stares at his own hand, noticing the slight tremble to his fingers.

Killua snuggles against Gon’s chest, shaking his head and listening to the rhythmic sound of Gon’s breathing, the comfort in the rising and falling of his chest, smiling softly.

No… he’s… happy.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to be scared, Killua. Or cold. I’m here.”

“I’m here.”

Words that lull him into a warm sleep.

#hxh #Hunter x Hunter #killua #gonkillu #gon #gon freecss #killua zoldyck #hxh killua #gon x killua #;windy’s stuff #I will never ever forgive 90% of the chars in the show for treating Ki like shit he’s so kind and amazing and everyone brings him down #and I will never ever like the scene with Bisky idgaf if it helped Ki pull the needle out the damage to just his mental state #the trauma he already has and that’s how she wants to solve it. By putting it all on his shoulders and saying something so awful #to such a caring kid #Luckily Gon’s here to love Ki 🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲🤧🤧🤧🤧🥺🥺🥺#GONS LIGHT IS KI #KI IS GONS SUNSHINE 😭😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧🤲🥺🥺🥺🙏#KI IS THE MOST PRECIOUS SOFT THING EVER 😭😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧🤧🥺🥺🥺🤲🙏🙏🙏🙏😤#GON WOULD RIP OUT THE STARS FOR HIM. GON IS A MOOD 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🥺🤧🤧🤧🤲🤲 WHO WOULDNT 😤😤😤😤😤 I WOULD 😤😤😤#ANOTHER FIX IT FIC #THE BAD SAD THINGS DONT HAPPEN IF YOU PRETEND THEY DONT 😤😤😤😤#AND THEN THEY GOT MARRIED AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER LEGIT 😭😭😭😭😭🤲🤲🤲🤲🙏🤧🥺🥺😤#CHANNELING TORADORA SCENE BUT STG SOMEDAY ONCE I REWATCH I NEED GK AU 😭😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧🥺🥺🤲🤲🤲#KI IS PRECIOUS AND DESERVES ALL THE CHOCOLATE #HES ACTUALLY SO PRECIOUS 😭😭😭😭🤲🤲🤲🤲🤧🥺 JUST WANNA HOLD HIM IN THE PALM OF MY HANDS 🤲#THEY ARE CUTE #I AM HEALING MY SOUL

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