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angelthefirst1 · 8 months ago

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More on the X eclipse and Beth's number-plates, it's all connected.

Crossroads ❎️ the A's and the X's - Are Alpha and Omega

Read to the end! 🤯🤯🤯

If you haven't looked at my post about the upcoming X eclipse on the 8th April, i suggest you go and read it, because i will be adding more info on that eclipse, later in this post.

All this time, we've been tracking Beth, who "died". The "walker" who walks (lives), and...she tracks herself back to the crossroad Daryl lost her at. ♾️

Let's look at the signs to track just how close we are to her return. Believe me, It's close!

Every scene that Daryl and Beth shared, including dialogue, outfits, and circumstance, is being repeated with Rick and Michonne.

Are Beth and Daryl close to being close again?

Are we almost done tracking this walker, Beth, back to the crossroad coda? ➕️❌️

This article below describes some events from this Sunday's episode, which are very reminiscent of Beth and Daryl's time together.

Firstly, it mentions how Rick was scared to let Michonne in because loving ❤️ her and losing her again would kill him.

Same as Daryl.

The article then mentions that in episode 5, someone is tracking them.

While Rick and Michonne are at their version of the funeral home.

Is she tracking herself, aka Rick? And is on a collision course to crossover into Rick's story?

Michonne, in episode 4, just stepped in the "trap"...

Everything gets a return, so it's fitting that Beth will come around again, in the same way she left. At both a Crossroads ❌️ and a coda ➕️ end.

If she tracks herself back to her own story and crosses over into it at Coda (episode 6), that would be incredible.

In the article i reference, which you can read here..

https://www.cbr.com/the-walking-dead-towl-105-clip/?fbclid=IwAR21Ds9Cp1IHAfmhcUzVr56NTIe-SP6h7cXcQeJq5uKUENyO196PVbdoYGU

Gimple hints at Rick dying in the last (Coda) episode 106, just like Beth did in Coda.

Beth's death in Coda 508, was leaked prior to the episode airing, and if you remember the Beth lookalike from episode 103 TOWL, in the Millennial park (kingdom) she picks up both carrots (Easter) and leeks (leak)

I consider this "hint" from Gimple a "Leek" to repeat the leak of Beth's death in coda.

But Rick won't die. He will instead be taken back to "Grady" CRM like Beth after Alone and the crossroad.

Another similarity in the upcoming episode is Rick wearing this backpack...

Like Daryl did after dealing with the Claimers, but prior to Terminus (coda 106). We also see Rick wear a flannel shirt, like Daryl did in Alone.

The Claimer Len asked if Daryl had lost a piece of tail (coda/happy ending) hinting at Beth. He did this when hunting the bunny (Easter) at Dawn.

The end (tail) is the beginning (Easter) she will return like she left.

The article above talks about Rick and Michonne meeting new survivors next, so I expect the last two episodes of TOWL to include large amounts of Claimers (bunny/Easter) symbolism.

If you remember, the Claimers also tracked Rick before trying to kill him.

And when Beth eventually tracks back into the story and is no longer "just gone," she circles around to represent the claimers. And she is claimed - by Daryl.

And he gets her (the bunny) back, but in two parts (In TOWL and DD2)

Claimer Joe mentions New years Eve, just before Daryl and Rick (Beth) see each other again.

Believe it or not, this yellow car represents New Years Eve...

It's a Nissan with no number plate...

There is a new year coming up, and it just so happens to be on April 8 when the X eclipse happens. That is the Jewish New Year, which begins on Nissan 1.

It's the name for the Hebrew New year, hence the no number plate and black (eclipse) number plate.

It represents the beginning of the calendar. Which also means Alpha

Now Beth's numerous repeating number plates give us this number...

XH6-S781

It's the Hebrew new year 5781.

5(S)781 - The 5 is flipped to S so it goes both ways.

The 1 = Alpha (beginning)

The X and + on the windscreen = The end or Tav - which is the last letter in the Hebrew alphabet. And it's coda in middle Hebrew.

The H = Hebrew

6 = Man number and mans calendar

And the 5781 year = Beginning (Alpha)

Beginning to end of Beth's story is represented by X & A.

Obviously the yellow of the car is symbolic of her polo top.

We on our calendar, are about to enter into Hebrew year 5784 so on April 8th, we will have 3 missing years back to Beth's car calendar. Dun dun dun!

Now for anyone who doesn't know the biblical end times chronology, this is the basic layout.

-The church of Jesus Christ is removed from the world (taken out by God, which was represented by CRM taking Rick in the helicopter), while the song about space junk is playing.

The world gets thrown into a tumultuous period called the tribulation, where a false messiah (Antichrist) rises to power, he is an imitator of the real messiah, and he makes the world take a mark X of the beast in order to buy and sell.

But it will be a poison mark X or (Tav-END-immortal death)

Just as major Beale says, the "cure" is poison.

The beginning is the end, and that's why patient zero in TWD is a drug 💉 (Pharmakon) addict who overdoses. Gloria (meaning immortal glory)

The end is the beginning, and a Pharmakon drug (poison) that is labelled "the cure" will lead to the beginning of Gloria becoming an immortality dead cannibal.

At the CDC, Dr Jenner says the virus removes what it is to be a person (removes humanity).

We have seen this hinted at in France, with experiments and the fast zombies returning, just like at the beginning of the show. The zombies were faster then.

The end is the beginning, and the pharmaCON "cure" will be the poison that begins it all.

Gloria becomes immorally dead in an abandoned church. (The church has been removed)

That's why we are now hearing the term messiah thrown around, in DD1. They will eventually repeat this template.

The end times continue and...

-God pours out wrath and judgement on the unbelieving world, during this time, while his focus turns to the Jewish or Hebrew (calendar) people to help them recognise the real Messiah.

-The church returns to earth at the battle of Armageddon and the beginning of the Millennium - Hence Rick returning to the Millennium park.

Now, i have talked about the A's and B's in the walking dead before.

"A" represents the goats (beasts) and "B" the Believers or sheep (followers) in the sheep and goats' judgment of the Millennial kingdom.

You can read more on that here X

We have seen A's many times in TWD but it has two meanings which i will clarify now.

If you choose to follow Christ and not take the Mark X in the Antichrist kingdom you will be labelled an A in that kingdom and put to death. But God will label you an X-TAV because you are a follower of Christ and put yourself last, and Christ first.

If you chose to follow the Antichrist and take the Mark X it will temporally save you. But In the Millennial kingdom you will be labeled an A, because you chose to put yourself first and Christ last.

At Terminus (train car A) was for the ones who wouldn't join the cannibals aka zombies who took the Mark X and they are to be killed.

Father Gab's Church after Terminus also gets "A" placed on it - they refuse to take the mark, labeling those who chose Christ during the antichrist kingdom as A's and they get marked for death during that kingdom.

This is another biblical end times scenario, because anyone who refuses to take the mark of the beast 666 during the Antichrist kingdom will be put to death by beheading.

Rev 20.4

And I saw thrones and they that sat upon them, and judgment was given unto them. And I saw the souls of them that had been beheaded for the witness of Jesus and for the Word of God, and who had not worshiped the beast, nor his image, nor had received his mark upon their foreheads or on their hands; and they lived and reigned with Christ a thousand years.

Conversely, anyone who does take the Mark X of the Beast won't be allowed into the Millennial kingdom, they will be marked as Goats (beasts) and they will be put to death.

Ultimately, the war is between the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of light. The symbolism for both is converse or mirrored. This means one imitates the other but is a fake or fraud.

2 Corinthians 11:14–15

14 And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. 15 So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.

This brings me to the Logical negation symbol that i discovered on tree during both the story of Terminus and coda.

It means to reverse the truth of something. That is exactly what happens with the A's and X's the Sheep and goats, in these two kingdoms. The first and the last.

The bible describes this concept here in Matthew...

Matthew 20:16

16 “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

We see the logical negation symbol in the light and in the dark at the time of Terminus and Coda.

With the church in the light, and with the cannibals in the dark.

Jesus told His disciples, “If anyone wants to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. 25 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

Not taking the Mark X in the Antichrist kingdom will mean you lose your life but ultimately save it.

When Daryl says the signs are all there to know when the tracking is almost done, he's referring to the biblical signs that point to the kingdom of the Antichrist and return of Christ just after.

I've mentioned before that Jesus said in Revelation 22.13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

TWD is covered in this symbolism.

Alpha and Omega are the first and last letters in the Greek alphabet. Which the new testament was written in.

Aleph A and Tav X are the first and last letters of the Hebrew alphabet which the old testament was written in.

So now i want to add one other detail to the upcoming X (TAV) eclipse that i didn't previously talk about.

The 8th of April solar eclipse will create an X or Tav (End) in conjunction with the 2017 eclipse.

But, there is one other solar eclipse that happened last year, in 2023. 2023 is where the current walking dead timeline is.

And in conjunction with the X eclipse, the 2023 eclipse makes an A (Beginning) A & X beginning and end.

"A" 416 is the same episode that Beth puts the sherrifs hat on.

The beginning is the end. ♾️

Emily's song "When the midnight fireworks 🎆 start".

Should actually be called "When the Hebrew New Year fireworks start". 5781 ♾️

I'm a slow burn driving fast through a city

Full of matches and gasoline leaks

Full of people so shiny and pretty

I'm a slow burn

You gotta give me a few more years

But there is nothing that can stop this fire

Broken bridges, no amount of tears

I'm a slow burn about to take flame

And when the midnight fireworks start

Everybody will know my name

And it will never be the same

And it will never

Be the same

It's a short flight from the safe zone to danger

From the middle to the edges

From your family to a stranger

But there's a little light keeping me on the right track

I'm getting used to the temperature

I am never gonna go back

I'm a slow burn about to take flame

And when the midnight fireworks start

Everybody will know my name

And it will never be the same

It will never be the same

It will never

Be the same

I was crawling, now I'm about to walk

And when I stand up straight the whole world will talk

And when I snap my fingers they will clap along

Singing words by heart to every single song

I'm a slow burn about to take flame

And when the midnight fireworks start

Everybody will know my name

And it will never be the same

And it will never

Be the same

#team delusional #team defiance #bethyl #team beth lives #beth greene #beth is alive #beth is coming #beth greene lives #td #beth x daryl #end times #bible #return of christ #alpha and omega #beginning and end

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narastories · 2 years ago

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For the character ask game 💌 [Frasier Crane voice] NILES 🧐

Ah, I was counting on getting Niles, thank you!

one aspect about them i love

He's not quite sane and has balls of steel lmao. Remember that scene when Fetch punches him, then Hendricks holds him at gunpoint and kills one of his men in front of him and Niles is just smiling? That's kind of a scary behavior, and that was when I thought to myself "you know, this isn't a soft little spoiled millionaire hmmm". Good fucking luck rattling this guy.

Another thing - and I know we're setting the bar super low here, but it's really not a given in this universe - he's not a dick to disabled ex-magic folk. That's neat lol

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

He's an introvert.

Hear me out. Lance was the people person. Thurston is the guy who's good with money and business. Of course, after his brother's death he steps up and he has enough charisma and confidence to be the face of the company, but this isn't what he signed up for. I think he prefers one-on-one interactions and gets drained from having to deal with a lot of people at once.

Which to me just makes it ten times better when you imagine him awkwardly dancing at that parade or when he strong-arms someone into doing something. It's like when a negotiation isn't successful my man will dump money or thugs on the problem because he just cannot be bothered to deal with social interactions anymore.

(Maybe I should have put this in the hc section but it just makes so much sense to me.)

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

Okay, this is going to get even wilder but: I like to headcanon a sort of rags-to-riches backstory for the Niles brothers. It doesn't justify or change anything but to me, it would explain why he hates uncertainty, kind of mocks Fetch for romanticizing living the low life and why he says that he won't apologize for making a profit. I might be totally off the mark here but I don't think there's anything contradicting it so far, so *shrugs*

one character i love seeing them interact with

Fetch. No surprises here. Their frenemy thing in OFITF makes me foam at the mouth. He's just so entertained by the trainwreck that is Fetch. He loves teasing him of course, but on most days he doesn't even have to try. He can be harmlessly kind to him and Fetch will still snarl at him and be a little bitch basically lol

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

I know it will never happen in canon, but could I get some Niles brothers shenanigans, please? I think they loved each other but also got on each other's nerves. Lance is a bit like Hendricks, going around and meeting people and I can totally see Thurston yelling at him and being super annoyed when he's irresponsible or makes an agreement with someone that is just bad for business.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

I think he and Yael had known each other from before the Coda. I don't have a fully-fledged headcanon here but I just cannot see Yael being impressed by a human businessman swooping in to save the city. No, I think these two have a history. She knows and likes him and when he drives Thurston home and he gets this slight twitch in his eye that means he had to deal with too many people she won't try to talk to him, they just drive in comfy silence.

This would also make her ideal to give the shovel talk to Fetch btw if it ever came to that...

(Oh and after what you said, now I'm toootally imagine that he met Hendricks pre-Coda and it did not end well xD)

#I sure have a lot of opinions lol #I'm interested to see how the next book will prove me wrong #but it's fun to craft little theories #fetch phillip archives #thurston niles #tumblr game #ask game

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atlascas · 4 years ago

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DEANCAS FIC REC

(last updated 7/1)

FINALLY. this is like. just a place for me to rec and write excessively abt the fics i've been reading lately. it won't be organized but it WILL be very earnest and i'll keep it updated as i find/remember more. also i have obnoxiously high standards when it comes to fic so these ARE the cream of the crop, if u will. the god tier. the s tier.

very loosely organized into "newer fic" and "classics." these are subjective categories. do what you will

✨ = new fic on the list

💖 = in my brain rent free!

CURRENTLY READING

these are the fics that i��m currently reading! may or may not get recced. usually i read the first couple paragraphs/lines and if i like the writing it gets bookmarked and put on this list.

lazarus needs a robe of scarlet thread by herrosesneverfall, 90k, canonverse au. dean starts getting stigmata. when i was getting back into spn there were a LOT of religious fics flying around bc that was the Hot Topic of Discussion. this was one of them

Three weeks ago, Dean woke up in a pine box. He thought dealing with the nightmares was going to be the most difficult part of his new life after Hell, but at least they were something he could understand. Something he could deal with. Something he deserved.

Then he began having agonizing visions of crucifixion. Wounds appeared on his body out of nowhere. Wounds that refused to heal and coated his skin with the sickly sweet smell of roses.

Stigmata are said to be the marks of saints, but Dean is not a saint and the wounds are only the beginning.

kingdom come by ahurston, 8.7k, coda to 15x18. cas gets to go home. im gathering all the s15 fix-its to my heart and holding them close

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

hunger by ellispark, 10.8k, s13 au. dean grieves cas, post s12 finale. perfect writing perfect awful heartwrenching characterization so far on dean’s end especially towards jack. nuanced emotional writing

Dean takes his meal and throws it away, plate and all. He's not hungry. How can he even begin to eat, knowing what he kept from Cas — what he kept from both of them?

They could have had something, and now all Dean has is this gaping, empty hole in his stomach, in his chest, and he has to learn to breathe and eat and move around it.

the law of equivalent exchange by awed_frog, 60.8k, canonverse. cas loving dean in all permutations of humanity, throughout time.

“And what’s the point of it?”

“Of love? There isn’t one. Loving is its own purpose.”

NEWER FIC

“newer” just means “i discovered it in 2020/2021 after coming back to spn fandom” so it very well could have been published before 2015 but really who’s checking. not me that’s for sure.

💖 so says the sword by komodobits, 85k, s4 au. cas guards the michael sword in the beautiful room. this is easily the MOST obvious rec on this entire list but it was the first fic i read when i got back into spn this year and jesus christ it set the bar sky fucking high. the way they create a coherent mythology out of the mess that is spn canon is incredible.

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’

Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.

assimilation by komodobits, 5.6k, coda to 12x01. mary meets dean and cas and they go to find sam. such good character studies of all three of them. the best mary pov fic i’ve read

Mary always thought you were supposed to be able to tell. That you could just look at someone and know they were – you know. One of that sort. It’s not supposed to happen to her son.

cuckoo and nest by komodobits, 10k, ambiguously canonverse. dean and cas navigate relationship anxiety. cute, in character, and their relationship is realistic and the conflict well-written and emotionally nuanced and really really really good.

For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.

It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

💖 one white lie by komodobits, 11k, au. cas panics when trying to ask dean out and has to fake being a jehovah’s witness. it’s adorable and hilarious and it’s been ages since i actually got butterflies at a kiss in a fic but this did it. it did it. it felt like someone swaddled my soul in a cashmere blanket and kissed me on the forehead

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (scaramouche), 11.5k, set during s6. cas comes to as his s4 self without any memories of the past two years and has to figure out what the fuck is going on. it’s kind of like so says the sword. you’ll know it when you get to it.

Castiel is captured inside a trapping circle of holy oil set by Dean and Sam Winchester. The brothers call him "Cas", claiming that he has amnesia and that he is obligated to help them take down Crowley to atone for his betrayal of them. It's the strangest story Castiel's ever heard, and one he doesn't have time for because he's only just raised Dean from Hell and has work to get back to.

💖 cas and dean’s adventures in gardening by ahurston, 19k, post-canon au. a series featuring dean and cas living in the bunker, human. cas is very into plants. i read this yesterday actually and it made me smile SO much it’s just so lovely and sweet. i’m also a sucker for any fic where cas has a garden. he deserves a fucking garden okay

In this post-God world, everything is different. A little quieter, a little softer. Cas grows a garden, Dean cooks, and they take care of each other.

tall grass by aeli_kindara, 57k, post-s12. dean and cas live in the bunker on their own, and cas grows a garden. i did say i love fics where cas has a garden. plus domesticity, plus some good case fic, PLUS dean and cas’ relationship is so gentle and good

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says.

Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away.

Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

in a week by renrub, 2.3k, post 15x18. cas is in the empty. dean saves him. this is genuinely the best “dean pulls cas out of the empty” fic i’ve read so far like conceptually this entire thing just fucks. when cas is cycling through the barn scene. god. SO well written

Castiel is outside a barn covered in sigils. He frowns. This isn’t right. This has never been something he repented for.

i won’t even wish for snow by annie d (scaramouche), 5.6k, college au. cas goes to the winchesters’ for christmas. honestly scaramouche fics belong in the classics section bc she’s like an og deancas writer but whatever. mistletoe! banter! good in-character au! this fic’s got it all

It’s the third year that Castiel’s spending Christmas with his best friend’s family, and he expects it to be much like the previous two. Then mistletoe happens.

convenient husbands by annie d (scaramouche), 39k, canonverse au. cas is a phoenix, dean is a hunter. they get married and have a sick psychic bond. unexpectedly fluffy considering how the fic starts and i love the banter so much and dean/cas’ relationship gets fleshed out and organically developed it’s very cute

"It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?"

cinderwings by bendingsignpost, 181k, cinderella au. cas goes to a masquerade ball to save his people from an eternity trapped in a void. he meets prince dean. i can’t tell u how much this fic drew me in - thru good worldbuilding, but mostly thru cas’ social awkwardness. like it works PERFECTLY to his advantage in this fic and reading how expertly he manipulates social situations w/o any fucking idea what he’s doing is both hilarious and inspiring

Under the cover of a masquerade ball, Castiel has five nights to recover the key to his people's freedom. The world has changed greatly in the six centuries since their banishment into the void, but the task isn't impossible. Unfortunately for Castiel, this is going to involve talking to people - especially the Knight Prince who has taken an interest in Castiel and his "costume" wings.

as the crow flies by bendingsignpost, 3.4k, au. dean and cas go on a roadtrip. cas has wings! it’s so dreamlike and meandering and the slowburn is so good. honestly it reminds me of stevebucky/stevesam post tws era roadtrip fics if ur hip LMAO

Cross country road trips with Cas are the best.

long-term relationship by bendingsignpost, 2.7k, au. dean and cas have a Serious Conversation about their relationship.

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers, 7k, ambiguously canonverse. dean is trans. dean and cas are fucking and lowkey hiding it from sam. perfect character study PERFECT trans dean fic it’s so fucking well-written

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

💖 the love story of the runner up by margo_kim, 4.7k, ambiguously canonverse. cas tries dating other men. bear with me here. this is an outside pov fic from an oc named miguel who is WONDERFULLY characterized and very endearing like i find outsider/oc pov to be on Thin Fucking Ice bc it always ends up as fandom/author self-insert but miguel is his OWN MAN. he gets his own lil arc and everything. dean and cas are concentrated perfectly crystallized versions of themselves and the little glimpses we get of them are amazing. ALSO i wrote like 9k of an spn vent fic (basically the same premise but w an oc named marcus) back in like. freshman yr of hs. so when i first opened this fic i was like what the fuck someone’s been in my google docs. very weird experience 10/10 regardless

“So you saw a white man in a trench coat pop out in an alley,” Paul says, “and you thought, what, ‘I want to see where this is going’?”

“If you get hung up on details like that,” Miguel says, “it will take a very long time to get through this story.”

For a very weird era in his life, Miguel dates an angel who is in love with another man.

sunshine by northernsparrow, 8k, set during s13. dean and cas have a long conversation about their Profound Bond. the description left me off-balance (it really. really truly says “dean is straight in this fic” like okay bro WEIRD hill to die on) but it pulled through w the relationship study and reassurance and snuggles. a sweet fic

One-shot with a single conversation between Dean and Castiel, set in a late-S13-ish world. Gabriel, Cas, Sam & Dean are all living in the bunker together, Gabe's been cracking certain jokes, Sam's found a certain book, Cas is injured and isn’t healing... and it's all making Dean wonder if his angel friend might have some sort of a "bond" with... somebody? Whatever that means.

Maybe it's time for a talk.

💖 still life by catchclaw, 16.5k, post-s8. cas, newly human, goes to live on his own for a while. he and dean maintain a relationship thru the phone. this is LITERALLY the only first person fic i fucking respect okay like i was skeptical! i really was! but the pov is PERFECT and also my man kevin tran is in this fic and i love him and miss him very much. oh and cas going off to explore humanity on his own..............perfect arc. very much in character we love that for him

Dean'd always thought that falling in love was a capital letter kind of thing, an Important Event you carved into the calendar of your life and never, ever forgot. But with he and Cas, it wasn't that simple.

it’s mostly cowardice, and bad timing by ferritin4, 1.6k, pre-canon. actually this one is just a dean study it’s not deancas but i spent an entire night looking for it and i need someone else to read it too. dean is smart!!! SAY THAT

Dean gets his GED.

a list of reasons the bunker shouldn’t get a sofa by lizbobjones, 5.6k, set during s12. sam and dean and mary and cas haul a sofa back to the bunker. cute domesticity and fluff

Let me count the ways that this is a terrible idea.

no kingdom to come by domesticadventures, 16.8k, canonverse. dean and cas deal with being stuck in quarantine in different ways. this is the one and only quarantine fic i’ve read and it’s really good lmao. dean and cas’ relationship is so organic and tentative in this one

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

till the juice runs by deathbanjo, 8.4k, canonverse. it’s like dean’s being cursed to have bad hookups with men. SUCH a funny fic and the deancas tension is so simple and sweet and GOOD. plus cas is so enjoyably characterized here he’s so human and worn in and experienced in his own unique way. perfect use of rowena too

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

turn of the year by kototyph, 3.9k, canonverse au. sam and dean get stuck out in the middle of nowhere on the winter solstice. what i wouldn’t give for a full 80k of this verse actually. also i went on a kototyph binge after reading shut up put your money where your mouth is and they have a SOLID spn repertoire

Fifteen minutes later, Dean gets back in the car with empty hands and ice in his fucking eyebrows. “Get the map out,” he says through chattering teeth, sticking numb fingers under his arms.

Sam holds up the battered 1995 Rand MacNally they keep in the side pocket, turned to a page of uninterrupted green. “We’re going to die,” he announces.

💖 bullets in the gun by kototyph, 4.9k, canonverse au. cas is a cop (i know. still) who gets kidnapped by dean in an unfortunate turn of events. GOD this fic is SO FUNNY. cas’ canny and strategic escape attempts render him a very active VERY funny pov character plus the hate attraction to dean is PERFECTLY WRITTEN VERY BELIEVABLE. dean’s kindness also shines thru even as he literally holds cas hostage like!!!! PERFECT characterization. both of them are so LIKABLE here. if you read anything on this list read this

“Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m going to need to borrow your car.”

as you will by kototyph, 1.8k, victorian au. cas endures a proposal mishap. it’s cute it’s funny it’s sweet!

"No?" Castiel echoes, dumbly.

and if i was looking too? by kototyph, 2.6k, au. cas is undercover where dean works. this fic is just so cute like. bird angels.................

There are some things Castiel hasn't told Dean, and there are some things he doesn't need to.

the most important thing by northernsparrow, 94.5k, s10 au. amnesiac cas raising claire until he comes across someone familiar. claire is so well characterized here i really loved her arc thruout this fic. she just wants her dad back and u can’t even blame her the author rlly does an amazing job creating realistic and heartbreaking motivations for her. oh and dean and cas (esp cas characterization!) are sweet in this but honestly the highlight IS claire for me

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

there’s only one sure thing that i know by blinkiesays, 20.3k, post-s5. dean goes to help cas out in ohio and they end up building a home together. i love the writing it’s rlly funny and sweet.

Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.

💖 to an angel, love and worship are the same thing by geminisage, 10.3k, post s15 fix it. dean grieves cas - and then cas gets brought back back from the empty. i didn’t have this in my bookmarks so i MISSED it the first time around on this list but this was another one of the fics i came back to spn fandom to. it’s so fucking unique?? it actually reads like spn like i think fic tends to soften dean/cas up and makes them more emotional + emotionally intelligent than is ever shown in the show. here the dialogue/characterization adheres RIGOROUSLY to their communication in canon in that dean’s not overtly emotional, and cas is very reserved. they have to negotiate their relationship exactly like they would in the show. it’s all clipped conversation and anger and hurt and (warning btw) LOTS of internalized homophobia on dean’s end but it’s SO worth it. dean navigating his [GESTURES VAGUELY] everything is compellingly written, emotionally true, and PERFECTLY characterized. cas characterization also amazing like u rlly feel the quiet devoted bittersweet love. ok this was long clearly it’s a good fic go read it now

Just as Dean knew they would, the weeks do stretch into months, and then into a year. Grief never gets easier, Dean knows from experience, but you do get better at it. After all, you can get used to anything.

the violin house by teh_helenables, 8.5k, post-s5. dean and cas build a home after stull. so slow and lovely and sweet and gentle. i need to put this here so that i don’t forget it tbh. it’s very much dean as a war wife cas as the husband away on the front

The Apple Pie Life is a slow process, but Dean and Cas are getting there—until Cas is called for battle and Dean is forced to wait.

💖 muscle memory by komodobits, 18.9k, au. amnesiac cas wakes up three years in the future with dean in his kitchen. komodobits DOES NOT FUCKING MISS!!! i CRIED at the end of this i had NO INTENTION OF CRYING the rest of the fic isn’t even SAD i just had to sit there at the end of it w tears dribbling down my face. INSANE work of art

Dear Castiel,

Hello – it’s Castiel. This must all seem very confusing, and I’m sorry for that. Dean says to tell you that this isn’t some kind of ‘time-travel stunt’, although I’m sure that won’t be your first thought. I know it wasn’t mine. I’ve told Dean to leave now, as this is my notebook and I want everything in it to come from me – or rather, from you. I know you think it's the fifteenth of January, 2010, but it isn't. At the time of my writing this, the date is the fourth of October, 2013. Dean Winchester is your boyfriend of a year and a half, and you no longer work at the library, and in early 2010 you were hit by a car and hospitalised. I’m sorry.

a.k.a the 50 First Dates Dean/Cas AU where Castiel wakes up on a day just like any other, except that three years have passed without his knowing, and Dean Winchester is in the kitchen wanting to marry him.

don’t forget the experience points by annie d (scaramouche), 10.8k, au. cas is sam’s work friend, and he and dean get to know each other. genuinely an adorable fic. i adore cas’ characterization in this it’s snarky AND awkward AND confident in a way that i absolutely believe he would be if he had 30 yrs of human life under his belt

It's because Dean was an awesome brother than he took such an interest in Sam's new friend. No, really. What happened afterwards was mostly an accident.

actus fidei by manic_intent, 5.6k, canonverse au. dean’s a priest, cas is still his angel. i was HOOKED from the description alone like That’s Everything I Love in One Sentence. Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the very first time that Castiel manifests in front of Father Dean Winchester, he gets as far as "Rejoice, for you are blessed-" before Dean shoots him with a salt-loaded shotgun.

not with a bang but a yelp by strange_estrangement, 1.4k, canonverse. team free will leave yelp reviews. this isn’t d/c actually it’s just a crack-ish fic but the formatting is cool and the references are SO funny and so well done

What happens when you visit dozens and dozens of motels every year? You leave Yelp reviews.

the courtship of combat by bendingsignpost, 18.2k, medieval a/b/o au. cas is politically coerced into fighting in a courtship melee for prince dean's hand, and he teams up with two unexpected allies to do it. I KNOW HOW THE ABO THING SOUNDS but i swear it's done well - it's by bendingsignpost so ofc he puts his own spin on the premise. im absurdly into it. PLUS jack is in it!!!!!!! it's technically an unfinished series but the first part is so good just on its own

When pressed upon to mate for a political alliance, Commander Castiel dares to refuse his king. As “I do not wish to mate at all” is clearly the wrong thing to say, Castiel takes the other path and lies. “You must know my affections lie elsewhere, my king.”

King Michael studies Castiel’s face long and hard. Then, with a nod, he snaps his fingers, pointing to Castiel. “The Winchester omega.”

“Yes,” Castiel says with no real recollection of who that is.

The ruse of an unavailable omega works well enough, right up until that omega is no longer unavailable. Then, with what seems to be his entire nation cheering him on toward victory, Castiel must enter the melee to win his mate. Backed by allies, training, and his own natural talents, the only question is how well he can contrive to fail.

four letter word for intercourse by bendingsignpost, 194.7k, au. dean calls a sex hotline. OH BOY solid characterization excellent plot/premise like bendingsignpost is so good at turning absurd premises into realistic, believable fiction. also sex hotline fic is usually a BIG turn-off bc of the power dynamics/one-sidedness of a relationship based on sex work but. BUT. bendingsignpost does it well! it’s not weird at ALL i started reading and was immediately reassured abt its intentions and its plot direction

As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.

What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?

(It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

the tunnel of love by xylodemon, 21.4k, post-canon. case fic! dean and cas have to kiss on a loveboat to solve a case >:)

"We might," Cas starts slowly, pausing like he's choosing his words. "We might have to kiss."

Dean just stares at him.

when you have a future. by firebog, 17.6k, post-s8. dean and sam and cas learning to be human post-apocalypse. reminds me of robotmango’s writing! it’s kind of eccentric and very very sweet and funny.

Sam closes Hell. Castiel closes Heaven. The heroes save the day. There's no Heaven or Hell waiting to cause the next big disaster. There's no more end of the world. There's only a squirmy feeling in his chest that feels a lot like freedom. So, now what?

(Things I promise you in this fic: dog poetry, rabbits, and fluff)

six inch heels by alitneroon, 2.3k, canonverse. dean does drag! excellent fucking character study. prose is fantastic

Dean does drag on a whim, and ends up in way over his head.

sharing is caring by gateskeeper, 2.5k, canonverse. five times dean and cas shared something and one time they didn’t. look. sometimes u just need some saccharine tropey fluff. it’s VERY well written

Sam knows that Dean and Cas have shared a lot together, but ever since Cas became human permanently, it seems like they've been sharing a lot more.

Or: five times Dean and Cas shared something special and one time Dean refused to.

💖 empty spaces by schmerzerling, 60k, au. dean has to take care of his dying father, and takes up running to cope. that’s just the beginning. HEAVY trigger warnings for ED (specifically anorexia) and suicidal thoughts. there is a happy ending, but dean has to fight to make it there. god. okay. this is a dark fic. it’s also one of the most well-characterized fics i’ve ever read. dean’s spiral is excruciatingly accurate and written with the kind of wry compassion that comes from either extensive research or extensive experience. it’s also completely immersed in dean’s perspective - dean’s relationship w his dad, dean’s relationship w food scarcity, etc. it’s incredible. it’s kinda scary. it’s deeply sad. cas is explicitly autistic and it’s ALSO incredibly accurate and loving, and makes cas so true to his canon self. ugh. and i burst into TEARS at some of the accompanying art, which is so sparse and lonely and beautiful. 100/10 experience one of the best fics i’ve read this year

Dean is fine. The way he sees it, things are simple. He had a house and a family and food in his stomach, and now he doesn't. And yeah, that's a downer, but he's not going to let that stop him from being fine, because he's in control of the situation. He definitely doesn't need anyone to save him. And it's not like the weird guy with the nice butt from down the road is the knight-in-shining-armor type, anyway.

broken road by thegeminisage, 109.6k, 14x13 au. dean makes a wish and gets more than he bargained for. a lot of “john comes back” fics are kinda short on nuance, which this author has talked about a lot - and oh MAN does this fic deliver on nuance. john’s abuse is absolutely present, but his pov makes him a complex character instead of a flat caricature for dean to reject. and the way this fic resolves really makes it clear that the priority is dean’s emotional well-being over all else!!! this isn’t about dean taking the path fandom thinks he should take w his abuser (killing john, punching john in the face, etc), this is abt dean coming to terms w his abuse and finding his own emotionally satisfying way of resolving it. also dean and cas are in an established relationship and it’s very slow and sweet.

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end.

home is not a place by imogenbynight, 6.8k, post-s11. human cas struggles with belonging, and dean struggles with their relationship. this reads a lot like komodobits’ cuckoo and nest, but it’s its own sweet little thing. they watch movies!!! very cute

In which Dean is the oblivious one for a change.

love: a retrospective by xylodemon, 40.7k, post-s12. dean tries to deal w cas’ absence after s12 and reflects on their relationship thru the years. this was written before s13 aired, so - no spoilers - but jack plays a different role than he ends up playing in canon. it’s kinda fun seeing ppl’s theories pre-s13 tbh. makes me VERY glad that they took jack in the direction they did in show. anyway this is THEE definitive “they’ve been fucking all along” fic

Pretending Cas is just his friend has been the only thing keeping Dean's head on straight for years. He never realized how much doing that depended on him making himself scarce in the morning ─ not until Cas came back and moved into the bunker.

✨💖 if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee, 37k, post-s15 fix-it. cas gets broken out of the empty - and he immediately makes a break for it. new fave fix-it!!!! the writing is so understated and so straightforward - SO in character for cas tbh - that every single emotional beat feels like a PUNCH. and there are so many amazing character moments it made my chest seize the fuck up!!!!! perfect characterization perfect relationship moments perfect cas/jack parenting moments. the yearning over the phone is OFF THE CHARTS and spocklee makes the most of that tension!!!! PLUS old canon characters get to make fun appearances!!!!! i cannot recommend this shit enough

After the Empty, Cas has to spend some time alone. Orpheus tries to convince Eurydice over the phone that it’s okay to turn around now.

✨ before and after breakfast by spocklee, 10.5k, post-canon. dean and sam and cas tackle a monster of the week case with unexpected consequences. perfect pov perfect relationship moments SUCH GOOD TENSION. again this writing style just lets the tension dial up to 1000% every word is meaningful and it makes my chest hurt!!! spocklee SHOULD have blown up during the spn renaissance and i STAND by that

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

CLASSICS

isn't it cool how every person has diff fics they consider "classics?" anyway these are required fucking reading. if u've been around these will prob be old news.

💖 asunder by rageprufrock, 23k, au. dean and cas go to sam's wedding. i reread this once a year like a religious ritual.

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6)

💖 the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock, 15k, set during s5. dean teaches cas how to be human. mostly the sex part. literally the gold fucking standard of s4-5 era deancas fic and for deancas fic in general, personally

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

okay, cupid. by orange_crushed, 4.5k, au. dean tries to sign up for an ok cupid profile and has a revelation. as soon as i put this entry down i realized this entire fic rec was an exercise in futility, because if i could i'd literally just rec everything orange_crushed/robotmango has ever written. still one of THEE best authors in this fandom. go read all her fics. i’ll put the highlights here

"The dating thing?" Dean frowns. "Online dating is for weirdos. Robots. Dudes hanging out in their basements."

"You hang out in your basement."

"I have an air hockey table down there,” Dean says, icily.

💖 pwp: pie without plot by orange_crushed and majorenglishesquire, 82k, post-s8. sam and dean and cas quit hunting for a little bit to open a bakery. this is my comfort fic. i love it so so much.

he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything

💖 la cucina by orange_crushed, 4k, post-s8. dean gets into cooking for a newly human cas. it's so gentle and loving and kind and makes me tear up every time. YES food is a comfort item and expression of love for dean. no i don't want to talk about it

Dean turns around and Castiel is picking through the jars, turning them over carefully to read the labels, totally engrossed. Dean watches him.

"Is there," Dean says, "uh, anything in there you like?" Castiel looks up at him and then back at the apples, sitting in a basket on the counter in their golden skins, ripe and pretty. Castiel smiles up at Dean.

"I don’t know yet," he says.

today, your barista verse by orange_crushed, 13.6k, coffeeshop au. a series of short sweet lovely fics where cas is a barista and dean is a smitten customer. literally the only coffeeshop au i respect

"Is that-"

"My number," says Dean, because he's a fucking champion, he's cool, he's collected, he's Captain Smooth of the USS Smoothtania, that's right. He is definitely not leaning against the counter for moral support. Cas doesn't looked seduced or impressed, though. He does not look like a dude who just met Captain Smooth and wants to ride the loveboat. He looks puzzled.

fata morgana. by orange_crushed, 6.6k, post-s9. dean is the king of hell. bela and cas team up to find him. bela pov. yeah you fucking heard that right BELA POV. BELA AND CAS!!!!!!!!!! makes me lose my mind i love everyone in this stupid desolate fucking hell wasteland.

The endless asphalt and broken road, the empty land and piles of human garbage, the unwanted ends of life, the cracked toys and broken screens and burning cars and gravel. Dean Winchester is the king of hell.

"Oh," says Bela.

That changes certain things.

💖 gran fury. by orange_crushed, 5k, pacific rim au. sam and cas pair up in a last ditch mission to save the world. permanently damaged me at age 15 and i've never recovered. major fucking angst warning.

They sit in silence and Castiel passes him the bottle. There’s not much left to say. Sam takes a gulp and it burns going down, like the cheap shit it is. He holds the bottle up against the light. He can see the Fury through it, distorted like a funhouse mirror. She’s a tomb but Sam loves her. Loves everything that’s left.

"To the end of the world," he says.

"To the end of the world," says Castiel.

💖 shut up (put your money where your mouth is) by kototyph, 24k, au. dean and cas get drunk married in vegas. dean renovates cas' house. this fic is SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered/expected and the entire series is fucking adorable go read it RIGHT now

Dean's done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake. His surprise husband, Castiel, is a little weird but likable despite that, and Dean figures they’ll go back to Boston, get a quiet annulment, and go their separate ways. Six weeks later, he’s still married to one of the strangest, most genuine and definitely most dangerously lov-- likable guys he's ever known. Dean doesn't know why or really even how it’s happening, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that he has divorce papers to file.

not part of the plan by annie d (scaramouche), 338k, arranged marriage au. cas is slated to marry a noble from the winchester house. things spiral out of control. if you’re looking for an extensive well-developed political au, this is fucking it. i love reading about political machinations so this was FASCINATING to me.

Castiel's spent most of his adult life keeping his head down and staying out of trouble. This is a deliberate choice on his part, because as a cousin of the King, he'd rather stay unimportant and forgotten. This changes abruptly when King Michael decides that he has a better use for Castiel: he is to be wed to a noble member of the neighboring Republic, as part of an agreement between their two nations.

Castiel knows he has to obey, but that doesn't mean he won't rebel in what small ways he can. Unexpectedly, his actions end up having far-reaching consequences.

💖 all things shining by askance and standbyme, 142k, au. sam and dean and cas go on a hunt that's not really a hunt, and against all odds good things happen. it's beautifully written and has scenes that literally make my heart leap out of my chest with joy and awe it's just WONDERFUL it's a wonderful fic. incredible mythology too omg i found that the authors actually created the myth the entire story is based on - like they don’t pull a random one from history, they made one up THEMSELVES. they even self-published it on amazon if ur curious

Something in the world is waking up.

It isn’t long before it’s brought to the attention of the Winchesters and Castiel: miracles are spreading across the country, the paranormal seems to be shrinking back on itself—and it all has something to do with the missing prayer book of a traveling preacher who died over a century ago.

Dean is convinced it’s all the lead-up to another Apocalypse; Sam and Castiel aren’t so sure. Regardless, it sends them out on a less-than-typical road-trip, following the Mississippi and remnants of a very old story that seems increasingly to call to them. And along the way the trio learn much more about themselves—and the consequences and origins of love—than they’d ever have anticipated.

💖 broadway musical by griftings, 12.4k, crack. romcom where cas is supposed to play matchmaker to dean and jo and well. you know. it actually made me cackle out loud when i read it again so you know it's still good. absolutely one of the funniest fics i’ve read

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

the five people you meet in heaven by chevrolangels, 22k, ambiguously canonverse. dean dies and goes to heaven and meets five people from his life. NOT a post-finale fic but still horrifically sad. i remember sobbing hysterically when i first read this so

Heaven is white.

Well. Isn’t that fucking stereotypical.

Dean isn’t really sure how he got here. Or even why he’s here. And hell, for all the times the Winchesters have died, he thinks he ought to know the drill by now. But what he doesn’t know is when most folks go, they find something different.

There’s a system God put in place. That when you’re gone (for good), there are a couple things you gotta do first. There are five people waiting for you.

They are the five people you meet in heaven.

any port in a storm by microcomets, 53k, post-s8. dean and cas go on a haunted cruise for a case. you know what happens next. also the art is by anobviousaside and it's gorgeous

The angels have fallen, leaving Castiel graceless and Dean with, well, more of other people’s problems. When a string of couples goes missing on the east coast, Dean and Cas decide to investigate—and find themselves trapped and hunted on a couples’ counseling cruise. Although battling monsters at sea is dangerous enough, sorting through emotional baggage proves to be far more deadly. (And, in which Cas embarks to find his missing grace and Dean is put out. Not necessarily in that order.)

a turn of the earth by microcomets, 95k, pre-canon au. cas is on the run from the empty and crash lands in dean's life. at one point he punches john in the face. a fucking beautifully written character study of pre-canon dean, honestly.

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

unfinished duet by microcomets, 5.8k, canonverse. sam observes dean and cas throughout the years. i remember this breaking my heart back in 2013!

Sam watches Dean and Cas over the years and notices a few things. (Or, Dean and Cas unscripted.)

💖 ergative/absolutive by glassedplanets, 8k, college au. dean and cas are best friends who meet in an astronomy class. i'm never not thinking about this fic it's so sweet and the friends to lovers is so soft and believable

He really shouldn’t be thinking thoughts like this about his best friend who literally just broke up with his girlfriend, but he knows he’ll blame it on sleepiness in the morning. He always does.

a certain light by flightagain, 24k, au. cas works at the gas n sip. dean is a customer. this author’s writing style is so lonely and heavy but it’s very lovely

Castiel works at the Gas-n-Sip. There are half-price nachos and flickering lights, there are office-workers and werewolves stopping by for snacks. Dean is a frequent customer, and his office might be haunted.

the one thing you can’t lose by majorenglishesquire, 5k, ambiguously canonverse. dean can pull cas around and it’s adorable. character study-ish. very sweet.

You know what I like a lot? The thought that Dean can just tug Cas anywhere at any time and Cas, who can lift tons without effort, who can demolish things with the light of his grace, who has battled and gone to war, has defended and broken, will just let Dean do it.

brother lover by twentysomething, 4k, set during s4/s5. dean’s jealous of sam and cas’ budding relationship. this fic is so tropey but it does it well and it’s funny as fuck

However- and it doesn't happen a lot- they have to invoke 'I saw her first.’

his fucking kids by 8sword, 3k, canonverse au. dean and cas raise claire and emma together. yes, claire novak. yes, emma of 7x13 spice girls fame. this was the first kidfic i read for spn i think. obvs written before jack or claire actually came back into the picture but it was the TEMPLATE of kidfic for me for ages

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

💖 what has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? by annie d (scaramouche), 16k, post s8. dean gets turned into an octopus. another fic that was SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered i fucking love when that happens. it isn’t even about dean being an OCTOPUS like NO. NOT EVEN. it’s ACTUALLY about the bunker and building a home and a community and a family and about PHYSICAL COMFORT and you can actually feel the world expanding at the end of this fic like a gusty sigh of relief it’s SO WONDERFUL. kevin is in this fic. ellie is too and i had to look her up but THIS is her!!!! danay garcia u were too hot to stay on this show but i love you and miss u

Dean watched an anime porn about this once, but real life turns out to be way less interesting.

Or, the one where Dean gets turned into an octopus.

💖 a beginner’s guide to communing with the dead by suspiciousflashlight, 77k, canonverse au. dean is a cop who summons a powerful entity to help him solve a cold case. oh my god i can’t believe i didn’t put this on here i love this one so much. the writing bowls me over it’s so confident in its worldbuilding like you’re IMMEDIATELY plunged into dean’s pov (FLAWLESSLY executed throughout the fic btw) and you just learn about the world as you go!! and it’s such a fascinating world!!! i love the magic i love the typical bureaucratic red tape procedures i love normalizing the supernatural. i ESPECIALLY love monsters as normal people in a society. at one point there’s this exchange

“Monsters,” says Cas finally. “Beyond the Wall there are monsters.” “You mean, like, vampires and djinn and stuff?” Cas shakes his head. “Those aren’t monsters, those are just people.”

those lines have stayed with me for years. i think about them every time i rewatch an episode of spn.

Maybe it's the little girl whose disappearance turned into a murder, and whose murder turned into a cold case, and who has now apparently decided to move in with him. Maybe it's the unacceptable hole left in his life when his dumb best friend and partner in (the prevention of) crime decided to go and get himself killed. Maybe it's his brother, whose high-profile career and fantastic girlfriend and first-child-on-the-way are steadily leaving Dean in the dust. Pick one. Pick all of them. The why doesn't matter so much as the what, and the what is this: Dean is pretty sure he's going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn't started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that's not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there's no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom's old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head.

dean’s list by almaasi, 3k, canonverse. dean makes a list. short and sweet. i read this so much in 2015 that it literally got engraved into my brain line by line and rereading it caused synapses to fire that havent felt anything in years

Dean writes out a list of men he would go gay for. Sam has a suggestion to make.

💖 the path of fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, post-s8. dean and cas open a charming bed and breakfast in vermont. no, literally. another CLASSIC. i think about the food in this fic all the time...........maple bacon baked french toast......the cinnamon rolls.....it literally sounds so good

After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years.

long nights in cold months by pyrebi, 2.3k, au. dean’s an insomniac and cas works at walmart. i forgot i had this fic ALSO basically memorized. holy shit. pineapple in the fruit aisle.....................anyway it’s short and sweet and the “plot” resolves in such a satisfying way

When you're an insomniac, you get used to the "what the hell are you doing up, man?" look. Dean just hopes the guy who's stocking the shelves will stop giving it to him long enough to help him find some damn pineapple.

incredibly single & ready to mingle by imogenbynight, 3.6k, au. dean and cas meet on facebook. short cute au!!!!!!

Sam uses Facebook like the social media junkie he is. He's befriended literally every person he's ever had a conversation with since he got an account, which means that approximately—Dean checks—eight hours ago, he shared this horrible photo with something in the vicinity of nine hundred people. The caption below the picture reads “incredibly single & ready to mingle ;)” and roughly half of them have liked it.

Dean has never been so embarrassed in his life.

💖 unknown quantities by xylodemon, 8.5k, post-s8. after a post-case tryst, dean has to figure out his and cas’ relationship. human cas fics hold a special place in my heart. funny AND good dean pov AND a misunderstanding that i actually think works!!!!!

No one ever tells Dean anything.

(or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)

#spn fic #spn #dean x cas #this is horrifically long actually.

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twdmusicboxmystery · 3 years ago

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Left and Right Back Pockets, Red and Green, Black and White

Most of the credit for these observations goes to @wdway, but I have some @frangipanilove in here, too. We’ve had detailed discussions about these things. 😉 And I think you all will find some interest here. It’s a great example of how these symbols all intertwine.

@wdway:

I'm going to share a rabbit hole I went down almost two weeks ago. I've been spending a little time each day looking at a few episodes and this may be hard to believe but what I thought would be straightforward and fairly quick turned out to have several side tunnels. Who would have guessed?

Daryl a year from when we first saw him at his river camp. He just passed the two iron steaks in the tree and is taking drinks from his green water bottle when Dog runs up to him. My eyes went to the red rag in his back pocket. I got to thinking about the fact that we have not seen the rag in a long time. Or at least, I didn't think we had, but here, in Daryl's memory of the past, he has this red rag which to me screams RED FLAG.

That rag was part of his costume from the beginning of the series. It was always hanging out of his right back pocket. I believe tptb decided to feature it in s4 and to use it as a half of a symbol representing Daryl & Beth. Daryl's red rag & Beth's green journal.

(Ignore the bit about Aaron. This is from a different theory and I was too lazy to take another one. 😉 )

The shots of Daryl on the path in FM reminded me of another similar shot from Alone. I'm going to do a comparison of the two shots 1) will be from FM. 2) will be from Alone.

1) Daryl carrying a Green backpack.

2) Daryl carrying Beth Greene.

1) Daryl with a Green water bottle.

2) Beth Greene = water.

1) Red rag in Daryl's right back pocket.

2) Red rag in Daryl's right back pocket.

1) Daryl's left back pocket holds a map (paper) of his journey for the last year(s).

2) Beth's left back pocket that above Daryl's holds her journal (paper) of her last year(s).

1) Dog=Beth.

2) Beth.

I asked myself, how long has it been since we've seen Daryl with the red rag in his back pocket? I did an episode search to find out. We last saw it in what I think of as a two-episode storyline that ended season 6, Last Day On Earth and began season 7, The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be.

The first shot is from s6e16. We barely see the red rag in Daryl's pocket as he's taking a swing at Negan which leads to Glenn's death. The second shot is from s7e1.

Again, we barely see the red rag in his pocket as Dwight is loading Daryl into the van to go to the Sanctuary. We never see the red rag in Daryl's pocket again. Until the flashbacks in FM.

We have seen Daryl with something in his right back pocket starting in s6 through the present: a black and white bandana.

The funny thing is, that too, or one just like it, was featured in S4. We saw Daryl wear it as a mask when he was digging graves.

We then saw him give it to Beth in Inmates. She put grapes in it and wore it tied to the left side of her belt. Which ties both the red rag and the black and white bandana to both Beth and Daryl.

Thinking of the red rag as a half symbol representing Daryl & Beth, there was another symbol of Beth that Daryl wore on his left side that we first saw in s4, Beth's knife. She wore it on her right side in Still and then in Alone, they found a gun for her and she switched it to her left side. In s5e10, Them, Daryl started wearing her knife on his left side, his knife on his right. The last time we saw him wear the knife was in s6e11, Knots Untie, just a few episodes before the red rag disappeared from his costume.

Like I mentioned before, I've been searching through episodes. I did not search every episode from S4 through the present, but I searched quite a few and I didn’t see the red rag again. At least, not Daryl wearing it, and that really bothered me because it seemed like I had seen it recently.

The other day, I watched s10e10, Stalker. This was an episode that we had high hopes for because of the 10/10 paper clock in Beth's room at Grady. There was hope of seeing Beth, or at least having some major clues about her, and yet there didn't seem to be anything major. We saw symbolism of her, of course. Especially in the garage scene, there is a white T-Bird with an open trunk, red fire extinguishers, an open roof. Then, when I watched the episode the other day, it clicked and things just fell into place. Things I had seen so many times in my re-watches suddenly had new meaning and new symbolism.

Daryl hiding behind a tool chest. On the other side is the open trunk car. Look what's hanging from the cabinet door next to him, or more importantly, to the right side of him. It's a RED RAG, just like what he wore in his right back pocket until a few episodes after Beth's knife disappeared.

Speaking of back pockets as in seen from the back. If you had any doubts of tptb's meaning this one was the major hints we were looking for but just didn't see.

Ever so convenient that there happened to have been a piece of the cabinet cut out and we can see Daryl eyes peeking over from the back with the RED RAG on his right side. Also in this shot is a yellow mop bucket, similar to the ones that we saw both with Beth at Grady and with Daryl at the Sanctuary.

It's pretty obvious that tptb wanted us to see the damn knife in Daryl's left leg along with the red rag just behind his right side. I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but I'm going to point it out, anyway. It was Beth's left leg that was hurt in Alone and she switched her knife from her right side to her left, which is also the side on which Daryl wore her knife.

Another thing I want to point out is that starting in s9, Daryl wore 2 knives, one on each side. We saw him after the time jump in e7, Stradivarius wearing the 2 knives along with the black & white bandana in his back right-side pocket. If you go to s9e14, Scars in both the present time and the flashback set 9 months after Rick's body went missing, Daryl is wearing 2 knives and the black & white bandana.

In FM, Daryl is only wearing one knife on his right side, no knife on his left. A red rag in his right back pocket that he hadn't worn since s7e1, in his left back pocket a paper Journal I meant map haha. One more note, he's holding his Greene water bottle in his right hand. What does all of this mean?

My theory is that the red rag represents Daryl and the time when he was part of a couple with Beth. He was the red to her green. Even more importantly than that, I believe the writers are using the red rag as a red flag that what Daryl remembers is not correct. What we're seeing in his telling of his story to Carol is intensely colored both figuratively and literally by his PTSD, his self-inflicted loneliness and desire to belong to someone. His wounded plea for someone to find him. I'm not crying, you're crying. Who am I kidding? We're all crying for Daryl.

This is from e1 of this season, Lines We Cross. It is the scene where Carol has just got off the boat and is talking to Ezekiel and in the background, we see Daryl and Connie talking. The camera focuses on Daryl and Connie, so it's obvious that tptb wanted us to focused and on his back pockets. (I certainly do not have a problem with them focusing on his sweet behind haha.)

The writers’ goal would be for the general audience to realize that Daryl has a book on sign language in his back pocket. This makes a very sweet statement about Daryl taking the extra step to find a book so he could communicate with Connie.

For me, this is showing a lot of other things. First, it is drawing attention to his back pockets which will be a theme through this season, especially at the end of e21 when tptb somewhat more subtly focuses on Daryl's back pockets, where he has the black and white bandana that I believe represents Beth. That part I've already talked about before, so let me just make a couple of statements about this scene, this particular shot.

Yes, there is a sign language book in the left back pocket, the back pocket that Beth carried her diary and where she put the Washington DC spoon. This is a very significant, symbolic, purposeful decision the writers made. Anything that Daryl carries in his left back pocket symbolically ties to Beth.

The way I interpret what I am seeing is that the book is obviously a representation of Connie. It means that there is a tie or will be a tie between her (remember this is the first episode) and Beth in the season. In hindsight, Connie was in the cave and possibly dead. Then she was just gone/missing, and there has been a search for her.

The other thing I want to point out is you can see a little bit of the black and white bandana in Daryl's right pocket in this shot. He originally carried his red rag, and now he has carried this black and white bandana. The most important thing that comes away from this is that the writers made the decision at the beginning of the season about his bandana and which pockets were used to tie Daryl to a particular character.

@frangipanilove:

I want to thank you for tracing the red rag, because that was something I wanted to do, but never got around to. I share your opinion on how it stood out when it appeared again in his flashback. And I do agree that it’s a red flag.

There are other red flags as well. I think they all point to resurrection. I believe the red plastic bag hanging from an antenna of a car in Coda is a RED FLAG. I feel like red flag = red flag, like the ones you get when you get signals that something not quite right.

So, you say it’s showing that Daryl’s not remembering right, I’d probably choose different words to explain it but essentially, I interpret it in a similar way. Backpack and back pocket = “come back”, return, resurrection, Sirius symbolism.

Map is synonymous with Beth’s DC spoon, which she put in her back pocket and later in her backpack. We also see a representation of this symbolism when Daryl shows up in 10x1 with an ASL book in his back pocket. It’s a reference to Beth’s green notebook she kept in her back pocket but also a reference to Daryl’s “the signs are all there, you just gotta know how to read them.”

The backpack symbolism is something we saw when Daryl carried Beth piggyback style across the cemetery, a parallel to Carol throwing the backpack across the river in FM. The wings on Daryl’s BACK are also a part of this symbolism. We saw how the vest was laying in the ground on the episode where Denise died. He also drank the Danville bridge whiskey, which is a reference to the bridge symbolism about crossing over the river/crossing over to the dead side.

About the red rag in 10x10, we did discuss it, and it stood out, but to me I didn’t know where to place it in the greater scope of the symbolism back then, and honestly I’d kind of forgotten it since, so thanks for bringing it back around again. Again, I believe it stands for resurrection, and we saw it in relation to the t-bird(BIRD) with open trunk. Bird = helicopter, trunk = resurrection. Helicopter + resurrection is a reference to how Rick survived (remember, he fell of the BRIDGE between the realms of the living and the dead, he was washed up on the bank of the river, rejected by the death realm)

@twdmusicboxmystery:

The only thing I want to add to this has to do with an edit I made quite a long time ago. As @frangi already said, this left/right theme extends to Daryl’s wings. So it was significant and purposeful that when Beth hugged him in still, she laid her cheek against his left wing. That’s the one that represents her, so it’s only fitting.

In thinking about this, I got to thinking about how Daryl lost one of the wings on his vest. We’ve always assumed that represented Beth because, clearly, he lost her. But I’m rethinking that a bit, now. Especially given that at the beginning of FM, when he sits by the river, his wing is still present on his vest.

Judith made him a new wing in Morningstar and sort of “gave him back” his lost wing, right?

And I’m not saying this ISN’T a foreshadow of Beth. It very well may be. But we also find, again and again, that these symbols have multiple meanings. Based on this left/right evidence, I simply want to put another interpretation forth.

Based on what’s been pointed out above, which I think is 100% accurate, Daryl’s right wing is more likely to represent…Daryl. His left wing represents Beth and he never lost that.

So I’m wondering if the message is that he never lost Beth, even if he doesn’t know it (“I’m not gonna leave you.”). But in his grief and PTSD, he lost himself. That’s why the wing is still present at the beginning of FM, but has disappeared by the end, and we don’t see how.

It was taking care of Judith, after the time jump, that really brought Daryl back to himself, his family, and civilization at large. Her making him a new wing represents her helping him find himself. And only after he finds himself again will he find Beth.

Thoughts?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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bodytoflame-ao3 · 4 years ago

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i guess i’ll never understand (the line between our love and romance)

a coda/extended scene to willow and tara’s conversation at the beginning of 4x16: who are you? my l’il gay take on a first kiss.

title’s from walk backwards by maude latour

Read on Ao3

“I am, you know.”

“What?”

“Yours.”

She’s never felt this nervous around another person. Except maybe Spike. Or Angel, with the whole no-soul-incident. Definitely Faith. And possibly vampire her — but she doesn’t think about that. No. She totally doesn’t think about that. No thinking there. Because she’s from an entirely different universe, and has nothing in common with her, no, nothing to do with her.

But she’s not afraid of Tara. The opposite; Tara’s magnetic. Every time they do a spell she can feel the energy between them grow stronger. It’s a terrifying, stomach-churning, fluttery feeling that nothing seems to help, even when they’re apart. Normally that kind of feeling would send her running in the opposite direction. Not with Tara. It… feels like something she wants. Despite all better judgment. And it scares her, so much.

Still, when Tara smiles, and takes her hand, and says, “Stay a minute,” it’s hard to say no. “Let me read you before you go.” She glances toward the tarot deck, still spread across her sheets.

Willow desperately needs guidance, and she'll try anything to get it. Tara sits her back down, across from her, and shuffles the cards with a practiced delicacy. She flips the first card.

“Your past… Two of Swords. Upside down. Recently… you had to make a decision about a r-relationship in your life. There was deceit, and nothing seemed like the right choice. But letting go… made you stronger.”

Willow lets out a heavy breath. She sounds so confident when she does this, it makes her want to stick around for hours and let Tara read every inch of her mind. Not to mention that it’s true. Except the stronger part — she doesn’t feel stronger. Not after Oz.

Tara turns the next card, and smiles. “Wow. The World. Right now you’re at the end of a big cycle of your life. It’s a pause; a break before a new beginning.”

“Is that good?” She really hopes it’s something good. She needs good.

“I-it is, usually.” Tara purses her lips as she sees the final card, letting out a little puff of air. It’s subtle, but Willow notices. She’s seen something that alarms her. Please don’t be another apocalypse.

“Um… T-the Page of Cups. It’s… a renewal of creative energy and new emotion. Upright, it would mean you’re ready to face a f-fear. But, um, upside-down, like this… you have a lot of strong emotions that are too powerful to k-keep in.” She pauses, and takes a breath, gaze kept strictly on the cards in front of her. “All of this new energy shows… someone new in your life will have a great impact on your f-future.”

Willow’s limbs feel like jell-o. Like someone stuck her in a blender. Shake contents well before opening. She always trusts her senses, but now, they’re scaring her; they’re telling her Tara’s the one that’s going to change her. Willow thinks she already has.

“All things considered… s-sounds pretty good.” It’s no apocalypse, but it sits on Willow’s shoulders with the same weight. She needs to know; what this is, what they are.

“Tara?” she asks, tentative. “Can I ask you something?”

Tara tilts her head to one side. “What’s up?”

“When did you know that you…?” She can’t say it. It makes it too real.

“That I…?” She looks confused.

Willow begs the universe not to clue her in. Without thinking it over, something in her mind just snaps, and her body follows, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and scrambling to grab her stuff. While she’s fairly certain there’s a notebook and pen of hers on the floor; her lemon-scented candle still burning on Tara’s bedside table — she leaves it all, letting the panic take over. “Nevermind, it was a stupid question, um, I gotta go.” She stands, backpack wrapped in her arms, shuffling towards the door and hoping she doesn’t trip or drop anything; make even more of a fool of herself. She doesn’t—

“W-wait, Willow.” Tara’s hand wraps around her wrist, gentle. “You can ask me.”

Willow turns to face her, still clutching her backpack like a little kid, fumbling with the zipper. She stares at the interlocked teeth, counting them one by one — anything to keep her focus from drifting to Tara. “When did you know you didn’t like boys?” The words spill out of her mouth without a second thought.

Tara’s still holding on to her wrist, just barely. It burns.

“Oh,” Tara breathes. “I-I just never did.”

But Willow did. She crushed on Xander for who-knows-how-long, right? And there was Oz — it all feels like so long ago. Nothing feels like this. Willow can’t meet her eyes, but she can sense Tara looking at her. She wonders if her heart is beating just as fast. “No, I mean…” The words still won’t come out.

“I… I don’t know. It just kinda… hap-happened?” She sounds so nervous.

Willow is — nervous, that is. Tara‘a grip has fallen to hers, palm loosely wrapped around unyielding palm. It would almost be too easy to weave their fingers together. It's too easy to picture it; imagine how it might feel. “And… you’re okay with it?” Her eyes widen, and her brows soften. She didn’t plan this. She didn’t plan for her.

Tara lets go of her hand and wipes her palms on her shirt. “Y-yeah… we-we don’t have to talk about it… if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“No!” Willow answers on impulse, far too quick, and far too forceful. That’s not what she meant. “I mean… it doesn’t… make me uncomfortable.” It does — it makes her heart flutter, and her palms sweaty, and her mouth dry — she doesn’t tell Tara that. “You’re my friend… I wouldn’t…”

“Oh,” she sighs, her breathing calming down, “Good.”

It takes all of her strength to keep going. She centers her mind and body as she would to prepare for a spell, setting down her bag again, letting go of the tension in her fingers, through her palms, all the way up her arms and through her body. She lets herself sit back down on the edge of her bed, relief crashing through her like a wave. It surges again as she speaks; “When… when we do spells t-together…” She hasn’t stuttered like this since high school. “You feel it too, right?” The pull? The spark?

“I…” Tara sits next to her, quiet, hand resting just next to Willow; reaching out.

She swears she feels the very tips of Tara’s fingers brush her thigh, and it’s almost electric. She’s held her hand before, palms pressed together for a spell — almost, just a minute ago; she’s touched her before, casually, like friends do. It’s never felt like this. It’s not like this with Buffy. It wasn’t like this with Oz.

“Always,” Tara answers.

“Do you know what it means? Like… are we gonna blow up your room someday? O-or accidentally turn ourselves into toads? ‘Cause I don’t think we’d get our tuition back and I don’t think they teach toads…” She’s rambling. Stupid, stupid, brain, all jumble-y and mushy. She knows what it means.

Tara’s response is whisper-quiet, words jumbled together, as her eyes meet Willow’s. “I think it means I like you.”

Willow hears it loud and clear. “Oh.” She can feel the blood rush to her face.

“I-is… that okay? I can… I can leave if—”

Willow doesn’t have the mental strength to point out that this is her room. “Yes. I mean no! I mean…” She sighs. “Don’t leave.”

Tara bites her lip, like she doesn’t know what she’s supposed do next. Willow doesn’t either. But she does know what she wants.

She kisses Tara, and it’s as soft as her words; as brilliant as her mind; as magic as their spells. It’s a century later, and also far too quickly when they pull apart. She knows it only lasts a second, even so, she swears she can’t breathe. This is that spark — what she feels every time they practice together — the feeling in the pit of her stomach that keeps her up at night, wondering if she’ll ever feel normal again. She wants more of it.

“That was…”

“Nice.” You kiss a pretty girl, and suddenly forget how to speak, huh?

“Really nice,” Tara agrees.

“I… have to go,” Willow whispers, suddenly overwhelmed again, the feeling coming over her with a shudder. But she doesn’t move. She kissed a pretty girl. And she so desperately wants to do it again. Forget everything; forget Buffy, and Faith, and the whole damn universe for just a second.

“Will…” Tara says, hand reaching out to cover her own. Deliberately, this time. Like everything’s changed. It has. She’s soft, and warm.

It’s terrifying. More so than any vampire or demon. Willow pulls away, panicked, and grabs her backpack off the floor, again, heading for the door as she swings it over her shoulders. Her hand touches the doorknob, and she freezes. It’s terrifying because she wants it. She turns back, and Tara’s already there, face to face.

“If you need time…” Tara starts.

Willow lets out a deep breath, and shakes her head, the movement barely articulated, lips slightly parted. Her hand reaches out for Tara’s face, palm resting against her chin so smoothly, it feels like they were made for one another. She kisses her again; deeper, like she means it, this time. She can’t speak, and all she can hope is that her lips have said enough. She means it.

“Then… stay,” Tara says, almost silent, fingers brushing hers.

She reaches for the knob behind her, twisting it and cracking the door, letting in a stream of light, hitting Tara’s pitch-black walls. “I want to,” she decides. It’s not that easy. “But I… I do need to go talk to Giles.”

Tara tucks her hair back behind her ear. Willow can see the blush creeping up her cheeks. “Okay.”

The second the door closes behind her, everything sinks into the pit of Willow’s stomach; that second, it becomes real, not just a moment in her room, suspended from time. The second she leaves, she knows it's going to be that much harder to approach her again. But she can breathe again. For now.

#fic #willow x tara #~2k words #willow rosenberg #tara maclay #btvs #made #btvs fic

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letterboxd · 4 years ago

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Together, Alone.

Together Together writer and director Nikole Beckwith talks to Ella Kemp about platonic love, pragmatic pregnancy, melancholic comedy and being inspired by Magnolia’s rain of frogs.

“The three of us were having our own platonic love affairs while we were making the film, which was very, very cool.” —Nikole Beckwith on working with Ed Helms and Patti Harrison

Back before vaccinations began, when we were still looking for glimmers of hope, the virtual 2021 Sundance Film Festival delivered us an abundance of joy: the family dramedy CODA, Questlove’s extraordinary piece of history, Summer of Soul, the delightful Sesame Street documentary and some precious smaller stories, too. One of those is the low-key revolutionary Together Together, Nikole Beckwith’s “visual representation of a warm hug”.

A platonic love story about surrogacy and solo parenting, Together Together stars Ed Helms as Matt, a single man in his forties who desperately wants to be a father. Interviewing women to carry his baby, he chooses twenty-something Anna, played by Patti Harrison, who completely nails her first feature leading role (she has previously appeared in A Simple Favor and Raya and the Last Dragon).

Over the nine months that follow, the pair boundary-shift as they navigate their unconventional relationship. They’re not together-together, but the bond between them is real, and strong. “Matt and Anna are loners, but they’re comfortable and functional in that space,” Beckwith explains. “And part of their connection is recognizing and respecting that in each other.”

Ed Helms and Patti Harrison in ‘Together Together’.

Flipping the narrative on surrogacy stories, Together Together encourages audiences to think about family in a new way. “Matt is in this strange middle zone,” Beckwith explains. “He’s not part of a community with a ton of children, and he’s not out partying at bars or living the child-free life. So the key to moving out of that space is taking matters into his own hands and redefining his future, and his idea of and desire for parenthood comes from himself—not from wistful fantasies romanticizing the idea of having kids.”

Anna’s story is just as clearly drawn: positive, rational, generous. “The last thing I wanted was to see her looking at children, with her hand on her belly, thinking ‘How am I going to give this up?’,” the filmmaker says. “I think that’s a really dominant way into surrogacy stories, but surrogacy is positive, it’s additive, and Anna knows herself. She knows what she’s capable of.” It’s a rare depiction of pregnancy on screen. “When a woman becomes pregnant, they’re not completely eclipsed by that fact. It doesn’t become their primary identity. So Anna is being very pragmatic about that experience.”

Together Together embraces “alone-ness” in a reassuring way, especially coming after a year in which many of us have experienced solitude involuntarily. Originally from Newburyport, Massachusetts, Beckwith spends a lot of time alone, but is firm that loneliness and solitude are not the same thing. Her story about the ambiguous spaces we inhabit when we don’t have a partner has its roots in real-life relationships.

“We just couldn’t get enough of each other,” Beckwith says of one male friend who changed her life when she moved to New York, far away from the small town she had grown up in. “I was just totally electrified and excited by them, and it was so hard for me to figure out that we were falling in platonic love. I hadn’t realized that was a kind of love you could fall in and just thought, ‘how beautiful’.”

The timelessness of non-romantic relationships is reflected in the film’s wondrous piano score, “a strange, poetic stream of consciousness” composed by Alex Somers, who also scored Captain Fantastic and Honey Boy. It is a hat-tip to Nora Ephron’s films, “those two-hander relationship movies in which the score is largely piano standard,” Beckwith explains. “We didn’t want it to sound old, while still having a whiff of nostalgia, while still feeling new, but in a timeless way instead of an overtly modern way.”

Beckwith looked for inspiration in all the right places. She nods to the dynamic between Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph in Bridesmaids as a depiction of platonic love that set the bar for Together Together. For examples of a middle-aged man who oscillates between being alone and lonely, Bill Murray’s performance in Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation led the way. And in terms of the first film to light a fuse in her moviemaking brain, she has Paul Thomas Anderson to thank.

“I had a pretty incredible experience watching Magnolia when it was in theaters,” she remembers of the filmmaker’s 1999 emotional epic. "When the frogs fell from the sky, I was like, ‘So you can do anything?’ And then every time William H. Macy turns on his car radio and Gabrielle’s ‘Dreams’ comes on, for some reason that opened a pocket in my mind which was like, ‘These are decisions that somebody is making.’ And that was the first moment, with those two scenes, that I realized movies are made.

“I hadn’t ever thought of the rubber-to-the-road aspects of movies coming from someone specific. Being from a small town, I’d never seen a movie like that before. Those two moments really kind of made me think about it in a new way—it was very cool.”

Writer-director Nikole Beckwith.

Just as Anderson has brought dramatic nuance out of renowned comic actors (most notably, Adam Sandler in Punch Drunk Love), Together Together also asks us to adjust our expectations of our modern-day comedy heroes. It is packed to the rafters with American indie comedy stars (Tig Notaro, Anna Konkle, Sufe Bradshaw, Julio Torres, Jo Firestone and many more), but plays for laughs only where it feels right. The tone is held throughout by Harrison and Helms, who were, says Beckwith, “grounded and present”.

Leave your memories of Helms as office nerd Andy Bernard at the door, and expect a softer Harrison than the acerbic comedy titan who greets you on Instagram or the TV show Shrill. It was a shot in the dark that such potent chemistry would materialize. “I mean, what is chemistry?” Beckwith says, when asked about the electric feeling her leads emanate. “It’s an elusive magic—you can’t invent it, you can’t count it. It just is or it isn’t, and we were so lucky that it was.”

“They’re both such gifted comedians that there was no doubt in my mind that we could take the things that fuel the stuff we know them for, and just switch it around,” says Beckwith. “I think in order to be a truly terrific comedian you have to be holding hands with all the difficult, melancholy things about being alive, because that’s where comedy comes from and that’s what it relates to—and that’s why it’s so ubiquitous. We need it.”

Related content

Selome’s list of indie pregnancy dramedies that de-center the nuclear family

Melissa’s list of films about daddy issues, single dads/fathers, being a dad/father, grandfathers

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

‘Together Together’ is in limited US theatrical release from April 23, and on VOD from May 11, via Bleecker Street.

#together together #ed helms #patti harrison #directed by women #female director #female film directors #nikole beckwith #nicole beckwith #comedy #pregnancy #surrogacy #surrogate #solo parenting #films about pregnancy #julio torres #jo firestone #tig notaro #comedy film

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ineverhaveanynormalfans · 4 years ago

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Undisclosed

Fandom: Criminal Minds Warnings: Canon rewrite Pairing/s: Emily Prentiss x Original Character Authors Note:

A slight rewrite and coda to Season 11 Episode 19 Tribute. Emily enlists the help of the BAU in tracking a serial killer who is mimicking famous murders across the globe. However, the recent addition of two new rings on Emily's left hand has her old team questioning when she got married and to whom?

This is part one of a new series, a story that has been brewing in my mind for years with an original character. My Kinktober 2020 series was written with this character in mind as the reader insert but they don't have to be read that way by others.

Word Count: 1406

AO3

“I've always heard every ending is also a new beginning, we just don't know it at the time, I'd like to believe that's true.” Emily Prentiss.

Emily Prentiss awoke with a jolt and sat bolt upright in bed trying to catch her breath. The nightmare had become hauntingly familiar, a replaying of the night a young inspector had lost her life in an undercover role Emily had pushed her to take. ‘Baby? Same one again?’ Your warm hand rubbed small circles on her back as Emily nodded and buried her face in her hands, struggling to ground herself in the here and now and not in that night. A soft kiss to her exposed shoulder made her look around and into the concerned eyes of her partner. ‘I’m ok’ she lied ‘go back to sleep love.’ Getting up before this turned into another discussion of her coping methods Emily padded into the en-suite bathroom, closing the door firmly behind her. Sighing you vowed to keep a closer eye on her and rolled over, falling back to sleep before she emerged and crept back into your bed, another sleepless night ahead of her.

The case in New York came so suddenly that Emily barely had time to leave you a quick voicemail explaining that she’d be out of the country for a few days. Two hours into her flight and mid way through reviewing the case files for the millionth time her laptop pinged with your ringtone. Accepting the video call she sat back and grinned at your face filling her screen. ‘Hotch and the team are gonna meet me in New York, we’re just waiting for DOJ conformation that we can work together on this case.’ It was good to hear her focused, after Boston turned out to be a single victim and the unsubs trail went cold she’d seemed defeated, like she would never get as close as she had in London again. That had bumped the nightmares up a notch in frequency.

‘So what you’re saying is I should expect a virtual frisking from Penelope Garcia imminently.’ Emily laughed and nodded ‘If she hasn’t got a file on you already I’ll be surprised.’ ‘I’d be surprised if she finds enough to warrant a file, work has kept me pretty off the grid. Are you still determined to introduce me in person?’ ‘Yep.’ She confirmed, the pop in the p letting you know she wasn’t gonna abandon her planned big reveal of you just because she was heading to the States a few weeks ahead of schedule. You understood her reasons and you loved the idea too, but keeping anything a secret from one profiler was hard enough, an entire team and the information queen that was Penelope Garcia was something akin to a miracle if you managed it. ‘Keep me updated yeah? And be safe love. No more close calls, please?’ She assured you the BAU had her back and that she would text you. Getting up from your office chair you sighed and went to make your third cup of tea of the day, hoping the team was as good in reality as they were in Emily’s stories.

The crime scene could have been reproduced from forensic photography of the Son of Sams murders and Emily was already scanning the alley for signs of a second victim as she exited the SUV. She was therefore totally blindsided by Rossi when he pulled her up on not talking much on the ride over and her mind jumped straight to the teams recent loss. Morgan had been on her mind, he had only left a few weeks ago and she knew all about that and the feelings it evoked in the team. Chastising herself for not asking them sooner she explained her reasons for not bringing it up, the freshness of the loss seemed so obvious and raw. JJ’s response about taking it one day at a time brought back the guilt she had felt both times she had left the team that was more family than any blood relative. ‘Actually I was trying to give you a hard time about this.’ Rossi lifted Emily’s own left hand up, nodding to the rings that had only resided there a few weeks. Before Emily could do more than stutter and blush the NYPD detectives were approaching them and all focus went back to profiling the scene.

Between the nightmare she had on the plane and the obvious personal nature of the case none of the BAU questioned Emily on the ring again until they arrived back at Quantico. Having successfully surprised Garcia and broken out the bottle of tequila she’d lost in a bet with Morgan it was quickly decided that a family dinner was in order and Penelope demanded to be filled in on this mystery spouse of Emily’s. You had been spot on Emily thought, she hadn’t been able to find much on you, only a name, Dr O. Ryan. ‘That’s not even a full name, do you know how frustrating that is for someone like me to not even be able to find the name of the guy you’ve married without telling us?’ Penelope lovingly chastised her as they took their seats around the round table in the colourful Mexican restaurant. ‘Oooh, a doctor!’ JJ teased, grinning at Emily over the menu. JJ was the only one who knew anything more about you, Emily having spilled all when she rushed to save JJ from a torturer. You’d not even been engaged at that point, the rings had made her do a double take too. ‘How come you didn’t tell us you were getting married?’ Hotch asked, the smile he had from congratulating her still on his face. She was all set to answer them, to give up on her plan of surprising them all with a visit when her phone buzzed in her pocket and took her attention from the table of curious eyes.

‘Find Your Friends has you at this Mexican restaurant and I really hope it’s accurate cos I’m outside :) x’ Emily read and reread the text and laughed disbelievingly. ‘You’re all gonna get your answers don’t worry’ she placated the table as she stood to walk out and get you. Her smile made the cost of the last minute flight worth every penny and you hugged her close, relieved to feel the tension she’d been carrying since Louise’s death had lessened considerably. ‘Ready to meet my family?’ She asked softly against your ear and you squeezed her affectionately before pulling back. ‘Absolutely, lead the way love.’ Emily leaned in and kissed you, her excitement palpable and together you both walked inside.

The plan was exquisite in its simplicity really. You walked in holding hands and watched as the faces of the profilers changed when they twigged. Spencer was first, his face lighting up as he waved a greeting across the table to you. JJ was beaming, you’d spoken to her plenty of times via video calls so it was no surprise that she was first up to hug you and give her congratulations. Tara and Hotch weren’t far behind her, and Rossi was hugging Emily when Penelope arrived in front of you, arms outstretched, and drew you into a huge hug. ‘Oh my gosh hi, hello, wow look at you you’re gorgeous, Emily your wife is gorgeous!’ Emily laughed along with you and Penelope dove straight into questions, pulling up a chair beside her own for you. ‘Tell me everything, how did you meet, who proposed, what was the wedding like, ‘ Rossi had to speak loudly to be heard over the happy chatter and rush of questions. ‘How about a name first, so we can toast the happy couple?’ ‘Olivia.’ Emily said proudly and you beamed up at your lovely wife. ‘Well then, could you all raise your margaritas to the wonderful Emily Prentiss and her beautiful wife Dr Olivia?’ He paused and looked at you both questioningly. ‘Prentiss.’ You answered, and took Emily’s hand in your own as a margarita arrived at the table for you. ‘Molte bueno, to Emily and Olivia Prentiss, may your marriage bring you many years of solace and joy.’ Glasses raised and clinked all around the table as the BAU toasted to the addition of a new family member and you took the brief moment while they all clinked to steal a quick kiss with your new wife. From what Em had told you you’d be far too busy fielding questions from Penelope to get another chance for a long long while.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds 11x19 #cm 11.19 #emily prentiss x original character #BAU #canon divergence #canon rewrite #gi writes

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frangipanilove · 5 years ago

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TRUNK RESURRECTION; PART ONE

ETA; Trunk Resurrection Part Two here:

https://frangipanilove.tumblr.com/post/612121865460301824/trunk-resurrection-part-2

TREE TRUNKS, CAR TRUNKS, OTHER TRUNKS AND OTHER THREES.

I’ve talked a lot about the significance of synonyms in deciphering the symbolism of TWD-verse. This time I’m gonna focus on the relationship between “trees”, “tree trunks”, “three’s” and “car trunks”. In part 2 I will discuss a number of particularly interesting cars that we’ve seen over the years, and eventually I’ll say a few words on the “foot/boot” symbolism. I hope to have part 2 ready later today or at least some time tomorrow. The two parts should probably be read together, as part 1 establishes the theoretical foundation for the case studies in part 2.

The significance of the number «3» has been emphasized by TD for a long time. We saw it around Beth in 4x1, when she got up from her bed and picked up the number 3 card from the «…days without accident» board. Many bloggers have offered excellent interpretations on the recurring 3’s, one of my favorite being that Christ resurrected after three days. Beth is, as we know a Christ figure.

In 4x12 “Still”, we watched Beth and Daryl climb into the trunk of a car in an attempt to hide from a following horde. They stayed in the trunk through the night. When morning came, they got out, and while climbing out of the trunk, we see a number 03 on the inside of the trunk. This is the first time we see hints of the three (3) symbolism and the trunk symbolism together, something which suggests that they’re synonomous, and that the’re interchangable. From here on, we could interpret “three” as synonymous with “tree”, which again is synonymous with “trunk”. It tells the story of trunks, specifically of Beth in a trunk, but they use a multitude of symbols to do it.

The trunk is a symbol that speaks of «salvation», «rescue» or «resurrection» if you wil, especially as “trunk” is synonomous with “tree”. I’ll explain below.

From events from the show, we understand that we're supposed to deduce that Beth somehow was placed in the trunk of a car. The trunk scene from «Still» was the foreshadow, the scene from «Them» was the callback.

We've also seen this theme around many other characters, such as with Enid and Carl in 5x15 «Forget». They specifically hid in a hollow tree trunk as a walker horde passed by, suggesting that three trunks symbolically offer a function of “rescue”. or “protection from walker hordes”.

We watched Daryl and Aaron find a naked disemboweled woman tied to a tree in 5x15 “Forget”. The message there was the resurrection part, as she turned and became undead before their eyes. And sure, she was resurrected into a walker, which is far less desirable than just escaping death and living on in human form. But the symbolism is about resurrections. That woman definately resurrected. And this happenes while she was tied to a tree.

Those of you that watch FTWD will be aware of how all of a sudden trees with their trunks painted blue started to show up. Sometimes with a Madison quote (”No One’s Gone Until They’re Gone”), other times with a painted ladder, or painted phoenix-looking bird.

Earlier in this season, in TWD 10x5, the opening minutes revealed something interesting. It was a musical montage showing the daily life in ASZ and on Hilltop. The song was Gordi’s “Save Me”, but the most remarkable thing about it was the constant repeat of the words «one two three one two three…» And and as this song played, we eventually saw a huge tree fall down over the Hilltop wall.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jTmUNXN_C4

The incident was an indication that the whisperers did not respect the agreed upon peace treaty, but in terms of plot, the tree falling in over the Hilltop walls was easily forgotten. It happened, and then it was never referred to again. Its main purpose wasn’t for the plot. It was symbolic. It fell down to the words of the song “Save Me”; “One Two Three, One Two Three...”

This was TPTB’s way of officially tying the “tree” symbolism to the “three” symbolism. Three and tree. They are synonyms, and are used interchangedly.

TREES AS CROSSES

But first, let me say a few words on crosses. Christ died on a cross, and the cross is one of the most recognizable symbols in our society. It represents Christ’s death and resurrection, and from a TD perspective we’re of course particularly interested in the «resurrection» part.

Interestingly, in the early Greek biblical texts, the word we now recognize as «cross» were at first actually written as «tree». The greek word «stavros» translates to «pike», more specifically a «pike made of wood». In that respect, it resembles a tree. The Greek word for «tree» was never used for «cross», but the pikes were made of wood, and the word for wood was also often used in early Greek versions of the Bible, meaning “cross”.

So the early crosses from the first few centuries after Christ’s death probably resembled the pikes we remember from 9x15 «The Quiet Before». The Eastern Mediterranean region where Jesus lived and died was dominated by the Greeks in the first few centuries A.D, and the first versions of the Bible were therefore written in Greek. Greek words were used, and the word we now recognize as «cross» were initially written as «pike» («stavros»), or «wood». These words were used interchangeably, and this resulted in some confusion when the Bible were to be translated into new languages. A perception of the cross being a literal growing tree spread, and this perception has survived well into our days. In some communities it’s not uncommon to refer to the cross as a “tree”.

This is why! TPTB are well aware of this, and takes full advantage of it when inserting their symbolism into the TWD episodes.

The first time we see TPTB utilize a tree as a synonymous symbol for «cross» is when Jim is about to die in season 1. He was bitten, got hit with the fever, then asked to be left behind to die.

TF obliged, and left him under a tree. As he was placed there, he even pointed out the tree. He seemed happy about being laid to rest against a tree. Symbolically, the tree represents the cross on Jim’s grave. It represents his death and resurrection, and seemingly it gave Jim a sense of peace and calm in the final stages of his life.

Later, we had the walker that was almost consumed by the tree in 4x3 «Isolation». Another walker, caught in an animal trap, walked by. This was a callback to Jim in s1, but also at the same time a combination of two very potent Beth symbols; the tree symbolism, and the bear symbolism (via the bear trap), which I’ve written a lot about in other posts, such as here:

https://frangipanilove.tumblr.com/post/183736635005/sirius-and-the-north-star-or-pigs-feet-and-frosty

Through the seasons, we’ve seen numerous examples of trees as a synonym for crosses. There’s Deanna, who says «let the trees have him» about Pete, when Rick and Morgan asks what they should do with his body. As in «Let Pete have an unmarked grave somewhere in the woods, where nature soon will have erased any sign of him ever being alive». Rick and Morgan then put the body of Pete in the trunk of a car and take off to bury him in the woods.

Later Deanna herself was put down from her animated state, and buried under a tree by Michonne and her son Spencer. Michonne carved a huge «D» into the tree, effectively making it Deanna’s grave marker, her “cross”.

We also had the birch glass panel in FG’s makeshift church in 5x14 «Spend». It was hanging in a spot where you in a church normally would have a cross over the alter, or at least a painting of Jesus on the Cross or something to that effect. It was TPTB’s way of tying the trees to the image of a cross while at the same time tying the symbolism to FG. Remember FG later became a Sirius figure when he lost his eye in 8x11 “Dead Or Alive Or...” so it’s super significant to find this kind of symbolism behind him. We don’t know exactly how, but there’s a lot of evidence pointing to FG somehow being involved in Beth’s return.

We also had the Daryl walker that had grown into the tree in 9x6. This was in the aftermath of Rick’s disappearance, and it was a sad and heavy scene, however the Bluebird provided some hope and lightness to it. Michonne’s voiceover talked about “tiny beacons of hope”, as Daryl watched the Bluebird grab a worm out of the walkers ear and feed the babies up in the tree.

Remember Daryl was mourning Rick at the time. And Rick was seen with the Blue Heron painting, the same painting Beth was seen in front of as she said “we made it” in “Still”. Also, don’t forget that it was Noah’s t-shirt theory that allowed us to find the Blue Heron painting behind Rick in 8x2, (the t-shirt had a stylized version of the Blue Heron on it).

The Bluebird that landed on the Daryl walker is of course of a different species than the Blue Heron from the painting. But they’re both birds, and they’re both blue! They’re symbolically synonymous. The Daryl walker that has grown into the tree represents death (and sort of resurrection) but the Bluebird represents real resurrection, because we’ve seen the Blue Heron in association with Rick and Beth, and we know that Rick is alive, so we also know that Beth must be alive.

TREE TRUNKS

An extremely important aspect of the tree symbolism is that rather than the trees themselves, the important part of the symbolism is the tree TRUNKS! I cannot stress how important this is, so keep this in mind as I continue this post. The tree symbolism is, as I explained above, a nod to the Cross of Christ. The many occurances of “rule of 3” is also synonomous with the “tree = cross” symbolism. However, there’s a far more literal way of interpreting this symbolism, and that is that “tree trunks” simply are synonomous with “car trunks”. They’re both trunks, and what do we believe happened to Beth after “Coda”?

We believe they put her in the trunk of a car!

(Or, at least many of us do)

And this is the trunk that forshadowed everything:

TREE TRUNKS AND OTHER TRUNKS

Remember back to the opening minutes of 4x12 «Still»! Daryl and Beth comes running out of the woods, looking for somewhere to hide from the horde that’s following them. They seek refuge inside the TRUNK of a car. It’s an iconic Bethyl scene, and it’s become an important part of TD mythology. Many of us believe it foreshadowed Beth surviving post-Coda, by TF putting her in the trunk of a car to protect her from the approaching horde. Further, it is believed that they then have to flee, and when they return to pick her up, she’s «just gone». Of course all of this happens off camera, so we can’t know if it really happened this way, but many of us believe it unfolded in ways somewhat similar to this.

One key element in tying the «tree symbolism» into the «trunk symbolism» is the presence of a «3» written on the inside of the trunk of the car where Beth and Daryl spends the night.

«3» and «trunk». «Three trunk». «Tree trunk».

As I explained above, «tree» represents the cross, in other words «resurrection». And the “trunk” is what makes the “resurrection” possible!

And TPTB have made a tremendous effort in inserting evidence for the “trunk resurrection” in the show.

There was the massive clue in 5x10 «Them», where they had the bizarre sequence with the abandoned cars. Daryl freaked out and wouldn't even go near the cars. Maggie wanted to open the trunk, but lost her bearings when she found the blonde walker inside. TPTB confirmed that the walker was meant to represent Beth.

Further, Maggie opens the trunk using the car keys, which has a keychain in the shape of a yellow seahorse attached. This seahorse keychain has multiple layers of symbolism about it.

First, it’s important to appreciate that the keys attatched to this seahorse keychain are instrumental in getting the trunk opened in the first place. They are literally the KEYS to getting the trunk opened. Seems obvious, but let’s still keep it in mind.

Second, the seahorse has a distinct shape of the number “3″ to it. Do you realise what that means? A “three” plus a “trunk”? A “three trunk”!

Or simply a “tree trunk”.

The third really important thing about the yellow seahorse keychain in the shape of a “three”, is something I’ll talk much more about in part 2. It’s the fact that it’s a horse reference. Keep it in mind, I’ll get back to it, because it’s super important.

Two things to consider. The walker was undead, rather than just plain dead. It had resurrected, even though it wasn't the most desirable form of resurrection. But symbolically speaking, she wasn't dead.

And the trunk was eventually opened…and stayed open...

And as long as we’re speaking of trunks, also remember that when the music box came back to life (resurrected), it was sitting on…..a tree trunk.

A coincidence, you might say. And yes, there’s no way to tell for sure. However, remember the night before, there had been a storm. In a behind-the-scenes clip we saw how TPTB had spent a lot of time and money CGI’ing the overturned trees. So at least we know that TPTB went to great lengths to make sure the trees stood out to us in that sequence. And there's no denying, the music box was sitting on a tree when it came to life. A tree trunk.

Also, the music box itself IS a little trunk. From an etymological standpoint, trunk and coffin share the same origin. Same with crate, box, travelers chest, cage. Think back to «Alone», when Daryl decided to rest in a coffin, as it was the best bed he’d slept in in years! If you have an open mind, I’m sure you’ll be able to recognize a bunch of different kind of trunks.

Trunk is also another name for the human torso...something which certainly puts this shot from 5x9 «WHAWGO» in a different light….

We noticed this cluster of cars from the get go in this episode. Both Noah and Rick looked at it with a haunted expression on their face. We saw a walker inside one of the cars, clawing on the window as if she was desperate to escape.

And when the group returned to the cars after having explored Noah’s overrun community, they were in a hurry to get out due to Tyreese’s horrific walker bite. But their car got stuck in the mud. And when their tires finally were released from the mud, they slammed into the car in front of them…….

…and a bunch of human torsos came crashing out from the back of the car. Trunks. Trunks came out of the trunk of the car. Well, technically they came out of the back of the car, not out of the trunk per se, but on a symbolical level, that’s practically the same thing.

(Another weird thing about that scene was the license plate that refers to a specific bible verse that mentions resurrection. Fun, but that’s a post for a different day.)

SYMBOLISM IN THE INTERSECTION BETWEEN TRUNKS AND BLUE CLUES

I’ve talked about the blue clues in the «Shane's 22-necklace» theory. I won’t repeat myself too much on it, because this is long enough as it is.

Throughout season 5 of FTWD, we started seeing trees, or rather tree trunks painted blue! Some of the trees had Madison’s quote on them «No-one’s gone until they're gone», others had a different text. Some has flames down the bottom, others has a white phoenix bird painted on them, others again had a ladder painted in them.

Now OBVIOUSLY this has something to do with the «tree/three/trunk» symbolism of TWD, but it’s also significant that the tree trunks were painted blue. Not red, or green, or any other color.

Blue.

Blue tree trunks.

I explained in the «Shane’s 22 Necklace» post that «blue» ultimately is a reference to the police.

https://frangipanilove.tumblr.com/post/187381332090/blue-clues-shanes-22-necklace-truckers

It’s a reference to Grady, to Rick, to Shane, and to Beth, as she’s «The New Sheriff In Town».

In 8x7 we get to see Rick captured and undressed by Jadis and the Heapsters. Rick gets to leave his boxershorts on, and that is no coincidence. I’m sure Jadis would have prefered him bare naked, but TPTB wanted to make a symbolism point. Rick’s blue boxers represents the trunks in this scenario (think swimming trunks, shorts = trunks, sort of), he’s imprisoned in a container (trunk), but he eventually gets out. Oh, and those boxers/trunks are blue, just saying.

Another interesting detail from this episode is that not only does Jadis strip Rick almost naked, she also steals his boots! And that is something I’m gonna be talking a lot about in part 2, because it is THE key to understanding how the three/tree/trunk symbolism comes together. Keep that in mind until later.

And when TPTB are so determined to establish the connection between the “blue” symbolism and the “trunk” symbolism, to the point where they actually paint tree trunks blue, it’s probably because is says something very literal about what happened to Beth’s body post-Coda.

We also saw a blue dog collar in 5x10 «Them». Of course we see that as a Sirius sign and it’s clearly tied to Beth through the dog symbolism. I’ve written a lot about that here:

https://frangipanilove.tumblr.com/post/183736635005/sirius-and-the-north-star-or-pigs-feet-and-frosty

In addition, a very common interpretation of the term «blue collar» refers to the working class, as it was customary to think of members of the working class as wearing blue shirts (with blue collars) as opposed to the white shirts and white collars of the executive elite upper class (hence the term «Blue Collar Worker»).

In this particular context, I don’t believe it’s economic theory from a class perspective we’re supposed to take notice off, I think it’s something much more literal. I do think the blue dog collar refers to blue shirts, though. Such as Beth’s blue scrubs from Grady. It was suspicious how many times she had to change them because they got bloodied up. We certainly noticed them.

And shirts, you know, cover the upper body of a human. The torso. The TRUNK, if you will.

And as I’ve explained in the Blue Clues theory, the Blue Clues ultimately points to «police», in the sense that «Blues» is an affectionate term used when referring to the police. The term «blues» when referring to the police apparently stems from a time when police uniforms were predominantly navy blue. TPTB left a little easter egg about that in 6x6 «Always Accountable», when Abraham found a navy uniform and put it on, and the Savior made a remark about him «sporting Dress Blue».

TPTB have been utilizing every opportunity imagineable to point to “trunks”, in any shape, form and fashion. The reason for that is very literal, and in Part 2 I’m gonna discuss what I believe this means for TD. Spoiler alert; I believe it means good things for us:-)

#bethyl #team defiance #Team Delusional #team beth lives #Beth Greene #BETH LIVES #beth is alive #beth and daryl #daryl and beth

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actuallylorelaigilmore · 5 years ago

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i would love to hear a s3 rant tbh

i started writing this a few months after s3 came out, because i needed that long to sort of soak up all the feelings and changes that came along with it. now i’m used to it enough that i don’t find myself thinking too hard about s3 when i get to it in rewatches–it’s a shift, but one i’m adjusted to. and now it’s premiere day for s4! so i’m finally done writing the rest of it.

it is a shift, though, and i think that’s why so many of us in the fandom had mixed feelings about it–we still loved it, but we didn’t come away from s3 with the same lingering mood that we did after s2. for me, s3 was the first season that ended on a truly happy note. there was no heartbroken elena at her quinces, there was no distraught family hoping lydia would wake up.

s3 left pretty much all the characters in a good, hopeful place, so why did we find ourselves more inclined to pick it apart? why did it feel different, when all the individual character arcs and plot points were in the same world we love, and clearly handled with the same amount of effort and care as we expect?

the following giant analysis is my attempt to articulate an answer to that, as a fan who has watched the whole show….so many times. so many times, guys. just so much. i don’t even have a number anymore.

to give you an idea of what you’re in for, here’s the categories you’ll find behind the cut:

each season’s focus was different

brothers and other strangers

dr. b’s inclusion minimizing other relationships

schneider being more isolated from the family

schneider’s sobriety

schneider & avery

avery + other characters

penelope & mateo

misc other gripes

feel free to reply to this and/or send me asks, i spent way too long on it. :)

each season’s focus was different:

obviously, odaat is an ensemble show. every character gets moments of their own, and most have larger arcs. but because the show needs a focus, each season arguably belongs more to some of the characters than others.

the stars of s1 are penelope and elena.

penelope is our anchor to the family and the story, the one that everything else orbits around. we’re watching her live through the end of her marriage and become more settled in her new role as the primary parent to her kids. elena is figuring out who she is, then dealing with the fallout from sharing her truth with the people who matter to her. her quinces is the topic of debate in 1.01 and closes out the season in 1.13.

lydia steals scenes a lot, but she doesn’t really have a larger arc in s1. at the end of the season, she’s the same person she was at the beginning, just changed by her involvement in elena and penelope’s stories. same goes for alex–he has stories, but they’re a lot smaller and more contained. and schneider and leslie are only involved in the season because of their friendships with lydia and penelope, then in schneider’s case, his dynamic with alex later on.

the stars of s2 are penelope and lydia.

penelope goes back to school, has her first serious relationship post-divorce, and finally deals more seriously with her mental health struggles. lydia decides to become a u.s. citizen, struggles with her feelings toward leslie, and ends the season triumphant after a major health scare.

elena plays a major role in s2, but a lot of her story is a continuation from s1, with the return of victor and her first romantic relationship, and developments like her new job as a handyma’am are awesome but not the central focus of the season. alex gets to be the star of a few episodes, more than in s1, but they’re not really tied in to an overarching arc. his first job, his anti-immigrant bullying, and his time at the movies with penelope are all standalone plots.

schneider has a larger, more serious role in s2, going from ‘you guys are like family’ during quinces in s1 to ‘now, you’re my family’ to lydia in not yet. but he’s still on the outside, looking in. and leslie’s role remains one that supports penelope at work and lydia in friendship, rather than giving him his own plot.

the stars of s3 are alex and schneider.

in s3, penelope’s story is more settled, because so is she. her job is secure, her schoolwork is coming to a close, and her kids are growing up. she has a romance, but mateo is less important to her than max was, and the plot reflects that, with mateo barely around until penelope’s neglect of him becomes part of the joke. pen’s reacting to what’s going on around her more, whether that’s alex’s drug use or elena’s anxiety and secret hotel room or schneider’s sobriety.

that’s not a bad thing! justina kills it in every episode, penelope’s still funny and a tearjerker and strong as hell while flawed…but s3 is the first season that doesn’t completely revolve around her, storywise.

elena’s story is also more settled, on some levels. victor’s return gives her a much-deserved coda, evidence that her life couldn’t be neatly tied up in a bow after a year and that emotional scars do real damage. but even that plot, like her first time with syd and her driving lessons, are part of larger episodes involving other stories rather than the main focus of all of them. victor’s wedding, the finale episode, tries to move forward five of our six main characters, compared to elena’s quinces, which was almost exclusively her show.

lydia’s s3 plot includes her fabulous bouquet list, ideas about aging and motherhood and family. but she’s back to being a scene-stealer–even her bouquet list exists as a subplot in other people’s episodes.

having focused the most on the alvarez women in s1 and s2, the show finally gives alex more room to shine in s3, a development that surprised me but pleasantly so because it turns out that the more they give him to do, the better marcel is at it. s3 shows us an alex growing up, making dumb choices and learning from them, but also being there for his family in bigger and more mature ways, schneider included.

and schneider…gosh. schneider’s arc in s3 is so important that it’s the one they foreshadowed ominously before the season was even on netflix:

he did step into the spotlight as promised, and by the end of the season, he was a full-fledged canon member of the family. not that we needed them to tell us that, even if schneider did. :)

to start with, though, that’s part of why s3 feels different: because it is. the focus widens to different characters, and the ones we’re used to following more closely have more contained arcs.

brothers and other strangers

s3 also decided to introduce new family members. a LOT of new family members. and while they all added to the story, some fit in better than others. the funeral did this well, finally giving lydia’s estranged sister a face to go with the name, and giving us more of a glimpse at the big family penelope grew up around before the military and parenting narrowed her everyday focus.

but the show’s decision to anchor an episode on brothers gave us what felt like a lot of consistency issues. they explained pen’s sudden s3 brother, tito, by making his absence during lydia’s coma a topic of discussion. they couldn’t actually include a never before mentioned sibling for penelope without creating bigger confusion, though. it just wasn’t possible.

tito is apparently the older brother that lydia idolizes, but until 3.04 she’s never mentioned him in conversation once? when she’s in a coma reflecting on her family and how they’ll go on without her, her beloved son isn’t worth a mention? i can forgive the show for deciding to give pen a brother three years in, but i can’t pretend it wasn’t jarring when odaat treated her like an only child before that.

and this is a much smaller issue, but also in s3 suddenly syd has a younger brother? who is homeschooled too? when they were telling elena their only classmate was their chinchilla the year before? like i said, a relatively small thing but it still bugs me because it’s so random.

schneider now has sibling(s) too, apparently, but his comment about not being his father’s favorite child was the first time that came up, in three years of him talking about his parents and household staff and childhood stressors. i have so many questions. hopefully future seasons will clarify some things.

anyway, hermanos was a deeply confusing episode for me because tito came out of nowhere and schneider’s conversation with leslie, while lovely, was the first time we heard schneider (or anyone actually) label his relationship with penelope a sibling-ish one. it was clear during lydia’s coma that he considered lydia a friend who was also somewhat a maternal figure in his life, but it wasn’t until s3 that the show extended that dynamic, from ‘lydia is like his mom’ to ‘therefore he and pen are both her kids.’

i’ll get into this later, but i honestly think that was meant more to tie into the episode’s theme than because it was supposed to shift his friendship with penelope into new territory. we’re watching penelope deal with tito, and elena deal with alex, and schneider makes the one comment during an important scene with leslie. it’s still jarring though.

the very fact that schneider wasn’t with the family during their vacation felt like an inconsistency to a lot of us, whose two-seasons-worth of headcanons about schneider make ‘he secretly books the room next to theirs and crashes their vacation’ more believable than him staying home alone.

it was done in service to the season’s goals of adding tito to the mix and folding leslie in more, and both goals were accomplished…it just felt a little strange.

dr b’s greater inclusion minimizing other relationships

speaking of leslie, s3 for him was what s2 gave schneider–more ties to more characters, and the first real subplots we’ve seen him have about serious subjects. for good or bad, a lot of what stood out to me in s3 as different was related to the show making more room for leslie.

schneider not being with the alvarezes on their vacation, even though he’s at every family event including funerals now? penelope made it happen by ‘entrusting’ schneider with the care of her house(plant), but really it played out that way so we could see schneider and leslie bond.

elena’s driving lessons being handled by leslie? it’s fair enough that penelope isn’t the one doing it, since she’s busy and it stresses her out, but if you want me to believe that schneider wouldn’t have jumped at the opportunity, even with avery in his life now, you’re crazy. there’s no believable canon reason in s1 or s2 why leslie would be the one doing that, but it played out that way so we could see elena and leslie bond.

even alex gets to know leslie better because he’s more involved with elena, meaning that after s3 leslie finally has connections to the whole family (which schneider accomplished in s2 once he was mentoring elena in building repairs).

by the season finale, leslie is attending victor’s wedding, mistakenly butting in on elena’s time with her dad, and finally traveling to cuba with lydia while he shares his practice with penelope.

however you feel about s3 in general, the show had to change its usual dynamic in order to include leslie more in situations like driving lessons and weddings. it just wouldn’t have worked otherwise. for example, the funeral at the beginning of s3 doesn’t involve him at all, because why would it? unlike schneider, he hasn’t spent a ton of time bonding with the extended alvarez family prior to s3. he’s involved in big moments because he’s close to lydia or penelope.

s3 is the first time we really see him get involved in the story just on his own merits. and that required less schneider in family moments, which paired nicely with the season’s other visible difference.

schneider being more isolated from the family

the schneider we know and love from s2 would have offered to take over elena’s driving lessons as soon as he realized they were stressing pen out. he would have found an excuse to join them on vacation, and he would have been present when penelope realized elena was sneaking off to a hotel room with syd.

schneider prior to s3 was always around that way, witnessing threesome porn on alex’s laptop and picking up strangers at the airport for the quinces, making it easier for penelope to go to him when she needed advice or a hug. in s1, she may have started out getting his help as a last resort, but by late s2, she was often turning to him instead of her own family, or her support group. pen was reluctantly aware of his many hookups because she was at his apartment so much.

once avery’s in the picture, though, we see less of schneider in the family orbit, and it’s really not explained. penelope pulls him (literally) into alex’s drug storyline, but after that he’s mainly in other people’s storylines, like lydia wanting to teach penelope to cook, or alex spending too much on shoes.

even in anxiety, schneider’s status as penelope’s most trusted person is one scene in an episode that shows how she interacts with everyone in her life, rather than the climax of it–the way his time with her is in hello penelope.

beyond individual episodes, it’s the relationships that matter, and we just see a lot less of that with schneider and the family in s3. in s1 we saw him bonding with alex all the time, and in s2 schneider became more important to elena. but in s3…where is he?

alex goes to his apartment because penelope ordered him to, to get a lecture about reckless spending, and that’s the only one-on-one time we see them have before the laundry room in drinking and driving. are they still close? i’m assuming they are, because alex clearly still cares about him and vice versa, but whether it’s because alex is growing up or because schneider’s busier with his first real girlfriend, they’ve stopped hanging out.

i feel the same way about schneider and elena. her support of him when he relapses (how amazing is it that elena is the first alvarez to use the word ‘love’ with schneider, when he’s been closer to lydia and penelope longer? i adore one gay cuban teenager) makes it clear that he’s still important to her, but even her building maintenance seems to be done alone now. the only solo conversations they even have are at the funeral, in the very beginning of the season.

and while schneider and penelope remain friends in s3, the nature of their friendship has changed in a lot of ways. she’s at his apartment less, he’s at hers mostly when the whole family is around, and until his father’s visit they’re less close physically along with everything else.

schneider’s absence in big moments like elena learning to drive or smaller ones like a rare family vacation can be explained as storytelling choices, but they also make it easier to understand how he started drinking again, and how it was possible for him to keep it hidden (along with his avery breakup) before victor noticed.

when penelope went off her meds, schneider was the first person to confront her about her unusual behavior, but penelope doesn’t see the change in him until she’s looking for it. some of that is the show arguing that alcoholics are really good at covering their secrets up, but it also only works because though schneider is making appearances at meals and still involved with family, he’s around a lot less than he used to be.

schneider’s sobriety

deciding to dive into schneider’s sobriety was the defining choice of s3, in my opinion, that made it feel so different. if i had to pick just one, that would be it, because so much else spiderwebs out from it.

finally seeing more of the world schneider comes from, in the arrival of his father? a major relapse trigger for him.

penelope telling him that choosing his father over his tenants means he’s not part of their family? seemingly the last thing she said to him before he drank.

his inclusion in the alvarez family museum? a way to show how his sobriety is the most impressive work he’s done in his whole life.

penelope (and the rest of the family, but especially penelope, once they’re alone) doing whatever they can to support him and convince him to keep fighting? the clearest sign we’ve had in three season of how important schneider really is to them.

it’s an amazing story arc for him, and as much as it hurts to watch, i love it.

but boy does it make season three a change from the first two.

after first setting up how proud of him dr b. and lydia are (the closest thing he has to loving parents) for his years of sobriety, we then see him tempted to drink thanks to his father’s actions and just general presence.

but because of how the show handles the reveal, we actually don’t know for sure that he’s drinking again until penelope and lydia confirm it. we can be rightly suspicious–i saw that the dangling tag was no longer on the bottle when he placed it on his coffee table, and assumed then that he’d already opened it–but we can’t know.

which means that for the first time, just like penelope, we don’t know if we can trust schneider. schneider! who has wanted nothing more than to earn and keep the family’s trust this whole time.

it’s so unsettling. as is his visible unraveling once he realizes he’s been caught.

and the thing is, that we’ve seen this before, just like penelope has lived it before–the worst of her fights and fear with victor happened offscreen, but when he comes back we see him lie to her, try to convince her he can handle his own problems and she should leave it alone.

but that…that was season one. that was victor, who moved in and out of the picture often in really hurtful ways, and who we weren’t encouraged to get attached to.

schneider is lovable, and loving, and present. and yet in season three, he also becomes a version of himself who is reactive, and dishonest, and will do whatever it takes to avoid being confronted about his relapse. including trying to hurt and push away the people he loves most.

i think part of why his relapse is so effective as an arc is because it’s as hard for the viewers to expect such a sharp turn from the sweet, laid-back guy we met in s1 as it is for penelope and her family. but that’s also why s3 leaves us shaken.

schneider & avery

oh gosh, schneider and avery. i’ve talked about them a lot before, so i’ll just say here that they brought her in with great potential, then let her stay so far on the sidelines of the show after the valentine’s day episode that it became impossible to know who she was anymore, what role she played in his life, and what their future could possibly look like now that they were reunited at the wedding.

is she the gorgeous nerdy artist who has just enough in common with him to be a good fit long-term? is she rich and more suited to the world he comes from? is she uninterested in his life outside of what they do for fun together, so that she’ll never get to know his chosen family at all?

it seemed to change each time we saw her, and by the end of her involvement in schneider’s s3 storyline, we didn’t even know what had broken them up before we were supposed to be rooting for them to get back together.

my theory continues to be that the people making the show were blinded by the impossible cuteness of real life marrieds todd and india, and forgot to make sure their plot threads on the show made sense.

because avery was never going to get a ton of screen time, she was a minor character–but revolving any part of his story around her kind of gave the show a duty to at least give us a clue of what the heck was going on.

avery + other characters

my other major complaint about avery (who i genuinely adored, at least for her first couple of episodes! my liveblog of her existence in s3 is just a lot of flailing about her being so freaking cute) is that the show keeps her in a totally unprecedented bubble.

penelope’s love interests? always interact with her family. whether it’s ben getting a text from lydia, because he wasn’t around long enough for more, mateo joining an unexpected party, or max spending whatever time he could at her house…we always got to know how her guys related to her family, and that helped us understand them and the relationships better.

syd of course spends a ton of time around elena’s family, and we’re going to see alex’s girlfriend meet the family this season. you could argue that those comparisons are different because schneider’s not one of them, his storylines are less central than say, penelope’s are–and that’s true. but even dr. b’s girlfriend got a long bathroom scene with lydia and we see/know much less about leslie than we do schneider.

mostly though, this bugs me because avery clearly spends time in their home! she’s there for valentine’s day, and penelope also tells schneider to invite her during ‘the man.’ and she works at the kids’ school, so she’s in their orbit on another level. penelope is able to get in touch with her and find out they broke up.

and yet, the first real love interest for schneider that could be a healthy and serious relationship…and onscreen, lydia never meets her. doesn’t try to figure out if she’s good enough for the adopted son lydia has been encouraging to find love for three years. they never interact.

elena, who developed a serious interest in alex’s love life and a taste for gossip in season one, appears to have no interest in the woman schneider’s seeing. alex, i could understand not caring, because he’s generally happier caring about what directly affects him and what he can do to help others…if schneider’s happy, i get why he might stay out of it.

but it just sort of grates on me that none of the women in schneider’s family have a conversation with avery onscreen, beyond the moment when penelope is trying to kick her and schneider out and she pushes back. if avery is in a scene, she’s talking to and focused on schneider, or nikki, or schneider’s father. none of the family. is that because she doesn’t feel like she has to make an effort to know them? or because the show just wasn’t thinking about that? even though we see it with every other love interest brought into the house?

i mean, when you pay attention to that, then of course we don’t have a clear sense of who she is! how can we when there’s no reason to believe that anyone who cares about schneider does either?

penelope & mateo

penelope’s relationship with mateo puzzles me almost as much as schneider and avery–and in some ways, even more. we see their friendship first, we watch them deny interest in more than that with each other. then penelope pushes the issue and they do decide to date, but just like with avery, the show doesn’t have a lot of screentime to offer him.

so what we know about her new boyfriend is that they have some things in common that she really values but maybe too much in common to avoid fighting about it–and then we barely see him again, learning mainly through his absence that she’s just not that into him, until eventually they break up because it turns out he was more into his ex than her anyway.

there’s a karmic sort of humor in that for penelope, but for me it left mateo feeling like a waste of a love interest. we really didn’t get to enjoy their relationship much, especially if they wanted us to miss it when it was gone…so was it worth the time they spent setting it up in the first place?

for me the answer to that was no. especially since as her ‘longtime’ school volunteer buddy, we’d never seen him before. and i feel like it’s not likely we’ll see him again.

penelope & schneider

this is a frustrating one for me because while i have complaints about these two and their relationship in s3 it was also AMAZING and i LOVED it. both are true.

the confusing part is that their dynamic is inconsistent in s3. think some of that is because the show is trying to do so much at once. fully bring schneider into the family, focus their romantic lives on other people, deepen their bond, deny the possibility of a romance between them, keep them each other’s person.

in s1 they’re landlord and tenant but also becoming real friends. in s2 they’re best friends and he’s a honorary part of the family now (though still an outsider).

but in s3 he’s established clearly as her best friend and most trusted person, a guy who’s become deeply important to her and her whole family–so much so that after his relapse, they come together to support him much like they all did lydia in s2.

but penelope treats him dramatically differently from moment to moment and episode to episode in s3. like an annoying brother when he’s getting cooking lessons from her mom, like a life partner when alex’s behavior has her angry and scared, like a bff when she’s considering dating mateo, and even a little like a flirting companion at the wedding.

it’s not completely unprecedented for their dynamic to have multiple layers. his relationship with lydia is complicated too. in past seasons, he flirted with both penelope and her mom–while they also laughed at victor calling them a couple and he told comatose lydia how important her mothering was to him.

but they lean harder into it during lydia’s cooking lessons, while still hitting the beats hard of ‘are you sure you’re not dating?’ during penelope’s support group and schneider’s dad’s visit. the contrasting takes on their friendship is just a lot of whiplash in a single season.

another thing about s3 that’s different is the kinds of physical contact between penelope and schneider. you might not notice unless you’re looking for it, but penelope actually touches schneider more than he does her. lightly, casually, briefly. she makes contact in a friendly, familiar way all the time. schneider is more likely to touch her when it’s important, in big moments, as though he knows that she trusts him and welcomes him in her space but he doesn’t want to abuse the privilege.

i studied it for making gifsets, and she touches him more every season. and while he touches her a lot more in s2 than in s1, s3 is actually about the same amount. penelope grew visibly closer to him this season, but he held himself back from getting any more familiar. he was also the only one of the two of them who compared her to blood family. for now,it’s really up to interpretation if there’s a deeper reasoning behind that.

for both of them, though, more than half of the physical contact they make in s3 happens in just two episodes, both towards the end of the season. not only does schneider’s father’s visit and his relapse bring them closer together, literally and physically, but the season up until that point has them further apart.

they spend time together stalking alex, or with schneider talking her down from her panic, but the casual dinners are less, and she’s going to him less for advice–which means there are less small touches, less moments where schneider sits her down on his couch or she nudges him affectionately.

that makes it all the more intense when they do connect, with penelope holding his hand and them hugging twice all within the same few minutes. and then after his relapse, their conversation alone in the apartment is so tense and so much more separate than they usually are.

the last time she touched him was in the man, the most open and complimentary she’s ever been, and look what happened. this isn’t the man she knows and loves, she needs to reach her best friend who’s still in there somewhere under all the pain and self-loathing, but she tries to do so with honesty first, with bluntness, with tough love, with listening kindly but not without pushing back, and finally with his place in her family–as a role model for the kids.

only once he’s agreeing with her about the course of action and just doubting his ability to survive it does she reach out. once he’s himself again. and then she’s more there for him physically than she ever has been before. this is a new level of intimacy between them, schneider letting her in rather than excusing himself during tough times, her giving rather than just taking support, her being his silent rock the way he always is hers.

it’s just different than the previous seasons, between them. the problem is that while you’re watching it, it’s hard to pin down what message about their relationship the show is trying to send, since they touch less but more deliberately, and they’re family but not in a way that has well-defined boundaries.

misc other gripes

elena’s world shrinking

as of s3, what exactly is elena’s life outside of syd and anxiety? don’t get me wrong, i love her relationship with syd, and the anxiety plot was good–driving lessons too, which were tied to the anxiety somewhat.

but if we’re pulling back to look at the bigger picture, elena in season one was a lonely club leader, figuring out her identity, and navigating disagreements with her family.

elena in season two was experiencing her first relationship, finding her first group of geeky friends to hang out with irl, confronting the fallout of victor’s behavior in s1, and continuing her academic hard work while also adding lots of political engagement.

in comparison, elena in season three exchanges ‘i love yous’ and has sex for the first time, as well as makes up with syd after their first fight. she learns she has anxiety and gets her driver’s license and continues to heal her relationship with victor, but…she has no friends anymore? no mention of josh or carmen or any of the echo park gamers? and she’s studying for testing, it seemed like, but she’s not in clubs anymore or volunteering or protesting? her whole world outside her family isn’t really syd, is it?? because i know first love is amazing, but that’s not healthy.

i said up there that less of the story belongs to elena after s1, and this is a large part of why i feel that way. the show treats her like some of her bigger arcs are settling down, rather than expanding, giving her subplots instead and making room for the other characters. it’s weird to watch though when just a quick comment here and there would have implied that she still spends time with friends or fellow social justice warriors.

lydia’s humor goes dark

when it comes to lydia, season one includes some jokes about her ending up in a home–or to be more specific, the fact that she never will. her comedy in season two revolves a lot around her identity, with her decision to become a citizen.

and then, we go into season three after her coma. though she appears to be in good health, the family is still worried, and elena especially tries to protect her from herself.

whether it’s specifically related to her near-death experience or not, season three involves way more death jokes. things like lydia looking up, and inviting god to reunite her with her husband ‘berto, i am ready,’ she says, then sort of shrugs when death doesn’t arrive.

it’s not unfunny…but it’s a different kind of humor. i can’t say i enjoyed the edge to it, probably because i was elena’s age when my grandmother died, and she was also a deeply religious woman who was awaiting her invitation to heaven.

alex also has no friends anymore? does he still play baseball?

the way that s3 gives alex so much more to do, storywise, is awesome. but just like elena, his world seems to have gotten smaller in terms of socializing. we hear about his girlfriend but don’t meet her, and we never see him interact with friends, either–besides things like instagram.

this one’s really a minor complaint because he has whole important storylines in s3 and at least the show does imply he still has friends…but it’s a little odd for the most popular alvarez teen to spend more time chatting with dr. berkowitz than any friends his own age. especially when he used to be so involved in baseball that we at least saw his teammates.

it’s not clear to me if season three just didn’t overlap with sports season for him this time around, or if he gave baseball up–but if it were the latter, you’d think they would mention that.

scott came back but not lori

i honestly don’t know which of the show’s casting choices are influenced by availability and which are choices they make for plots they want–other than carmen leaving, because i know ariela went to another show.

but while lori hasn’t been around since season one, scott went missing after the second episode of season two…and then appeared in the second episode of season three before never showing up in the rest of the season.

there’s no continuity problem with this or anything–i just don’t like scott and wish that if they were only going to keep one of pen’s coworkers, it would’ve been lori. i know that wouldn’t have let him do what they were able to with scott. but still.

max came back why?

i like max, for the record. he’s been my favorite of all penelope’s love interests so far, and i felt bad for them both when they broke up. but in terms of the finale, it felt really jarring the way they included his little appearance.

in that one scene, the show managed to remind us that they truly loved each other, genuinely supported and cared for each other, had common background and went back a long time as friends–and that out of all the men penelope had been with, he was the one she was still hurting over.

and then he left, as easily as he appeared.

besides reminding us that her major relationship in s2 was with max, what did that scene accomplish? it didn’t feel like closure, because it didn’t add anything to their original breakup. but it also didn’t change anything about how they ended–he remained someone she wasn’t going to be with, even though they loved each other a lot.

the only explanation i can think of is that the show wanted to work with the actor again. because if their goal was to confirm that yes, she and max really were great together even though she wasn’t going to be with him…we didn’t need more confirmation of that. we got the message in s2. ed quinn is great though.

#i'm not going to reread this one last time because my brain is just very tired of it...it's so long lol #so yknow..forgive any typos or tell me about them so i can fix them #also writing half of this almost a year ago means it might not be entirely coherent? idk #one day at a time #odaat #schneider #penelope alvarez #elena alvarez #alex alvarez #lydia riera #leslie berkowitz #avery #max ferraro #lori and scott and mateo are also in this a little but i don't think i have tags for them #replies #anons are love #meta #mine #odaat meta

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