#then it's “lol just dont exist in queer spaces!”

[cosmicredcadet]

I've yet to find someone who can ever give a good answer as to what places repulsed people have to go when it comes to pride being unwelcoming.

"Just go to a different pride!" how many pride do i have to go to until i find one? Some people only have 1 pride nearby and if there are more some of us cant drive or travel long distances to get to them.

"just don't go to pride then!" Then where am I supposed to go? where can i go to celebrate my identity and part of the queer community?

it's all "There are other places you can go!" ok where? I cant go into queer bars. What if there are no queer groups or programs? what if those queer places are not supportive of aspec people let alone repulsed people?

"we should make a tent for people who dont want to see sexual stuff" so basically relegating us to the kiddy table? not allowing us to enjoy the rest of the event? we are forever stuck only in a roped off area, away from the rest of the queer community?

Do you get what I'm getting at here? do you see what the issue is? do you understand how there is no place to repulsed people? do you understand?

[pizzacastella]

sometimes i wish that ao3 has that wattpad feature where u can comment on specific paragraphs like annotations, bc i read y'alls work and i want to scream at the little bits but cant elaborate further enough for it to be a coherent comment

[phagodyke]

in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

[coridallasmultipass]

Just wanna remind everyone that it's NEVER okay to tell someone to die.

You don't know how hard they're fighting to stay alive every day. Or if they don't even want to fight for that any more.

[zan0tix]

May I just say I really really appreciate your approach to and respect for the transfemininity embedded in Homestuck. Like the fact that you depict Jake as a kind of "genderfuck" (for lack of a better word) character without trying to divorce that from transfemininity as so many others do, as well as being able to depict Roxy with certain clocky characteristics without disregarding her femininity or making it feel fetish-y, is all really admirable in my eyes. It gets extremely frustrating seeing large swathes of the fandom constantly trying to separate the story of Homestuck from transfemininity despite it having a transfem enby author, so I really appreciate that you don't shy away from it in your art :)

I am so glad!!!!! Its something ive Always noticed in like every fandom since i first got onto the internet the disparity between the amount of transfems i knew vs how often their story got to be uplifted in fandom spaces or get to be celebrated how transmascs did considering how queer dominated they are but then i grew up and realised how badly male centric queer spaces are too😭

Homestuck is one of the spaces that has a big amount of transfems openly engaging in fandom activities and that makes me really happy to see! since i often see gross rhetoric from transmascs or cis women about fandom spaces abt “who is allowed” and “fandom being a safe space” cough blatant transmisogyny (sobs everywhere its so bad)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PPL BRUSH PAST HUSSIE BEING TRANS SO OFTEN ISNT THAT INSANE. To me it reframes homestuck how the creators of the matrix being trans does. Like I dunno maybe that informed the works presentation of gender somehow. Maybe all the commentary and critique and displays of frustration at the contradictory nature of gender but especially trying to fit “being a man” in society came from somewhere when they were writing it 🤔🤔🤔 hussie said it herself that alot of homestuck was just stream of consciousness. Everything that comes out of daves mouth near the end seemed very plausible to be a reflection of hussies own journey realising that Actually these boundaries of what defines A Good Man and A Good Woman are ridiculous and no person can possibly live up to that no matter what were told from birth.

But i try my best to reflect the innate transfemininity of homestuck and the majority of its cast, its something integral to the works themes and just the community who built it! It saddens me how skittish other transmascs are about engaging with or portraying the transfeminine stories when its just. Practically textual. And all you need to do is Listen and empathise. I love learning how other feminine people see themselves in this story like how often do you get such a menagerie of in depth fem characters. And i love seeing what the experiences transfems see echoed in homestuck are because its all such insightful stuff About femininity and its beauty and its ills all at once. Roxy..kanaya.. wipes tear from my eye.

I want to actively include and celebrate transfem features and bodies as much as transmasc ones get to be around here and i am glad my jake and roxy do feel that way 🥹🥹 my aim with my designs is to make them feel like some everyday people youd see, no fetishisation/sexualisation or demonisation, just Existing and appreciating. Because i know how much it can mean to see yourself in something and for that to be treated with care and kindness. Its why i create in the first place! Because of how others creations gave me that comfort when i couldnt find it elsewhere

I feel similarly about how people portray fat women or just like. Women in general. its sad how badly the whole sexualisation = acceptance warps how people portray things fatness or transfem features. Never ever saying these things arent hot or sexy or to be appreciated. Duh. I think how i portray jake says enough abt what i think of that LOL just that It feels like its the only way people try and show theyre accepting? Which just feels so gross and dehumanising the only way they think to display they feel empathy is through saying “Yeah i can get off to people like you”😭

Rlly bad in society in general so also in the homestuck space. Worlds hardest challenge is liking the alpha kids. Im so sorry for what they do to you jane and roxy🥲🥲🥲 Its baffling because Homestuck is Prime Example Numero Uno of how to humanise characters. Just display them being people; their thoughts, their feelings, their insecurities, their passions, their woes, their loves, their losses. So much can be communicated through how a character speaks with their friends.

I wana do that for jake and roxy! They get to be dimensional too! I like showing their laughs and their sorrows, just them Existing with the people around them. They get to be a part of the lighthearted comedy just as the rest of them do. They get to be a part of all the gender and sexuality insanity going on in their friend group, can point out their flaws and mistakes and insecurities. I dunno its rlly not that hard to just empathise with them and want to tell their stories.

I am so invested in the raw unabashed Humanity of homestuck. Its just one person pouring their brain contents into this huge thing and it displays the best and the worst and the absurdity and the questions. Its so interesting and hussies transness IS JUST BAKED INTO IT. Thus the characters contain that too and it kinda stinks of transmisogyny to throw that out!

YAPPING TOO MUCH OMG but i rlly appreciate this ask🫶🫶🫶makes me so happy to hear

[pearl-likes-pi]

i honestly dont know hoe to say this, but you really had a hand in shaping my brai chemistry while i was growing up, no kidding. i remember when i was 13 or so and whenever you posted a pearl rap career chapter it would unironicaly make my day (specially when you dropped the peridot chapter i had a stomach infection or smth, so that video and the last one out of beach city episode were on replay for me for a few days). its really weird seeing that rebecca managed to make a safe space for lgbt folks (it was really hard for me to accept myself as gay, it seems really simple nowadays but back then it was so discomforting to even thinm about it so su and its fandom, and by some extent, your vids, helped me externalize some feelings or queernes i guess, do you remeber when someone said your video editing was raw and masculine? lol). anyways, its wild to think i was in 5th grade when i first watched laser light canon and now im finishing my journalism course in college and seeing how this show raised me in some way and helped me to be aware of my own mental health i only have good memories, thankfully, and its really sad to see that it ended, but i honestly wouldnt have had it any other way. its kind of a long rant but id like to thank you, mackenzie, your videos made me laugh a lot when i was a teen and they still make me now. this show was truly a gift, it made us connect to something bigger and magical. this was kind of a long rant since ive kinda forgotten that su existed and remined that it existed because of some dreams lol. i remembered back then when i was super anxious about the cluster episode, i remeber checking your tumblr everyday and seeing fanon content. i really dont know how to express myself since english is not my first language and i tend to ramble on a lot on my native one, but id like to say youve made me smile a lot, it was so cool seeing you present the su podcast and being an intern at CN. i honestly wish you the best.

Dude it means so much to hear that my lil shitposts have had an impact on people!!!! I completely understand where youre coming from re: SU's impact on your life (and acceptance of queer identity) and feel the same way!!! im so grateful for this show and everything it represents. in a world without Steven Universe my current life would be completely unrecognizable. like genuinely I dont think any single aspect of my life would be the way it is without SU. which is nuts but it's true!!!

I love engaging with this community and it gave me a lot of support when I was at a place in my life where I felt pretty isolated. I'm kind of rambling now too but this seriously has been sitting in my inbox for a bit now and I just knew i needed to respond and say thank you for sharing. <3

ALSO LMAO I FORGOT ABT THE RAW AND MASCULINE COMMENT THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME HAHA

[velvetvexations]

It is so unbelievable how many fucking anti transmasc losers there are!! It's unbelievable, it really is just like ace discourse. Every fucking blog, I have to search 'transmasc' and 'TME' just like I had to search 'ace' and 'asexual' back in the day People will JUMP at the chance to do this shit over again huh

You should read up on the Cultural Revolution because it just keeps happening.

Ok not to double send but...

Blogs like yours do WONDERS for my mental health. Knowing there are actually people in my corner while I realise I'm a trans man is phenomenal

I'm glad to help! <3

my passing status is nebulous. sometimes i pass, but mostly i dont. im a trans guy with a thing for crossdressing so sometimes i have actual, legitimate euphoria vibes over just... sitting in my car and looking feminine. like "you all think im a girl but SECRETLY IM A BOY!!!" and it feels really good because like. yeah. i can look like a girl but nothing will change that i am a boy 😊😊 trans guy crossdresser again, my passing status is also really weird because i am intersex. my mustache confuses people, and that's great

That's similar to how I feel. People think I'm misgendering myself when I call myself male but it's more like I'm asserting dominance over gendered expectations lol. I'm male and I'm still a woman anyway.

thank you for your blog. a musician i really respected went super anti-transmasc recently and its really hurt, and the stuff here makes me feel like. less insane for having an issue with it

I'm really, really sorry anon. I love you a lot. <3

love that this person is calling people who believe that trans men can be oppressed "chuds", a word that is mostly used to talk about right-wing conservative men

transandro reactionaries dontcha know

"internet tough guys" still exist in 2024?????????????

Someone said something like "no one wants to fight you" and I was thinking "no actually I'm dead serious I would actually."

anyone who tries to debunk transandrophobia by throwing in "you people" has automatically lost the argument imo. but also I need to rant. as That Guy in your inbox who hangs out in bear and leather bars it makes me genuinely want to chew through the floor when people are like "oh well queer people don't demonize masculinity" GO OUTSIDE. YES THEY DO. there is a REASON fat hairy balding men tend to have our own damn spaces, because no one else will take us. FUCK.

if people want to insist that everyone around them has always recognized their soul-gender and no one is ever treated like anything but what they identify as maybe they should stop talking about what genders that aren't theirs experience

I'm a bisexual trans man who does not pass and never will pass and I have spent over 30 years of my life being told my experiences aren't real mostly by other queer people and I am so, so, so, so, SO jaded by it. I'm done. If you tell me "your lived experiences are not a real thing" then you're the villain. I can't stand it. I genuinely cannot take it anymore. I have absolutely nowhere to go and I feel so unbelievably hopeless.

Try to hang in there anon. It's okay to disengage and avoid discourse. I know it's not always possible, but there's nothing wrong with unplugging from this shit as much as you can. You have to focus on your happiness.

I love you. <3

[the-trans-advice-blog]

as a black genderfucked lesbian who is american, watching white american queers argue over stuff sometimes feels so.......like. hollow. or shallow. in a way. i dont know how to explain it. like it just feels like "lol. lmao even" because yes i GUESS these are valid concerns but you guys................can we focus on why you guys never include black people, or almost any nonwhite folks in your little rants that border on tantrums. i mean EYEEEEE know why but do YOUUU know why? i dont know. it just makes it hard to navigate because they're fighting battles i would never think to pick up simply because its like okay yes thats a problem but there is a giant tuna sitting on the grill rn i am not worried about anchovies

EXACTLY. It��s so exhausting being black and trans and trying to exist in trans spaces. White trans people never consider trans people of color when they’re talking about the community as a whole it’s so frustrating. Trying to find things that were useful to me as a younger trans person was pretty much impossible and sorta still is :’) Don’t even get me started on all the “trans stereotypes” that only ever include white people. I have never once related to any of that shit.

I truly wish it was easier for trans people or color to take up space in this community.

[conceptofjoy]

not rlly a point im just writing to put my thoughts down, i think ive said heart was like the "character" aspect before, the leijons ship their friends in a way reminicent to how fandom ships characters. dps is the self actualized version of their components and is the final stage of their character arcs. dirk is made up of multiple characters and becomes different characters in the comic yk.

damn this got long

bc character transitions can b easily read as a trans metaphor, u can point to dps, who is canonically queer, and dirk(s) to be like oh yep trans gender. dirk's relationship to his body as well as bgd and hal's is rly interesting. hal has zero control over the safety of his body and bgd's existence relys entirely on jake.

dirk's casual suicidal tendencies are given a reason every time, and hal doesnt seem bothered to exploit them possibly exposing a shared value they have. "it is ok to die AS LONG as its for the greater good". its tested however when dirk kills himself in game over, as much as he tries to get shit done, he is just a 16 yr old. AND like the other space players, he's been awake on his moon for a while. the dual waking thing prolly wasn't any good for him and exasperated any dissociative symptoms he would have developed by living alone his entire life. so basically, i dont think he's very connected to his body, seeing his brain more of himself rather than the body he inhabits. the lack of physical autonomy in bgd and hal is a round are just different versions of that. body mind soul thing yk.

through a trans lens, i see him as a trans guy who's far removed from his body mentally. this could be from dysphoria, or an intense neutrality from it from disassociation. from a mental health lens, its giving dissociation and osdd. bro's filled to the brim with himself, but is also exhausted from his hyper vigilance in keeping himself in check.

i think the idea of hrt would kinda freak him out in the same way puberty would have freaked him out if he went through a regular one (no way his ass was getting his nutrience). any sudden changes to his body that he wouldnt have done meticulously would have been a big hell no despite his distancing. though it isn't "him", it's his, like how one would see a tool. he's hella anal about that sort of thing.

which makes me think about bgd. interesting fella. i think the way he copes is how he views himself as a tool, like how hal does when he says he's just glasses. he enacts jake's will by fighting aranea "for his honor". bgd is also smitten with jake, being a big loop of dirk and jake's feelings for one another, which also softens the whole thing. its rlly no shocking idea that dirk puts people on crazy high pedestals, so like as long as jake's happy, he's happy. its more complicated than that, but this is a long ass post lol.

[endykelopaedia]

I'm privileged for a completely different facet of my identity that works differently than gender. I was born White and am White and there's no moving away from that. People are AGAB and the societally approved thing to do is to stick to that. Those who challenge their AGAB are all committing the same violation. I cannot offend society with my race but a trans man and a trans woman are doing fundamentally the same thing to piss people off. The cishetpatriarchy wants men to be men and women to be broodmares, and see a "man" wanting to be that which is hated and othered as repulsive, just as they hate a broodmare trying to put themselves on the level of (cis) men.

The funny thing about all this is that while I think the idea of AFAB trans people weaponinzing their AGAB is massively overblown, it IS totally possible for them to have conditional "privilege" in radfemmy spaces...because radfems see them as "female." I have no idea where the overwhelming and bias-inducing love for masculinity outside the cishetpatriarchy comes from. I just plain do not see it. I've never even heard anything but horror stories about relations between trans men and cis gay man.

And the idea that trans men are liked better by the cishetpatriarchy for wanting to be men is so flabbergasting it makes me see stars. Surely we don't think cishet men love masculine "women" or that women throughout history could have simply said they want to be referred to as men as a get-out-of-misogyny-free card.

A lot of times it genuinely seems to me like a lot of trans men who support this framework get gender euphoria out of living out this weird fantasy world. And it's honestly creepy? Like what I'm constantly reading into this is "I'm such a man I could totally have power over you and use it to abuse you if I wanted to but of course I never would." Like that does not make me feel good or safe lol! I've had multiple tell me that they believe in transmasc privilege because they themselves used to be transmisogynistic or partook in sOcIaL mUrDeR, which is a wild own goal to me because all the transmascs I know are hyper-vigilant about hopping on transmisogyny as soon as they see it.

Like, yes, you are a man! You are. I agree with that. But the material reality is that transphobes do not treat you like one and the queer community is much more divided and fractious in a way that does not really advantage one group in particular. Like a given space can favor transmascs but it could also favor transfems, and the only reason the latter isn't considered a problem is based on the tautological argument that they don't exist so the ones that do exist are NBD. Like, I could give you example after example of transfem-favoring queer people being absolutely unambiguously vile about trans men, but it always just gets No True Scotsman'd. No matter how many times it's provably manifest it's always shrugged off as an anomaly, or justified by the same thing being directed at trans women, which is a problem for transfems and not transmascs just because.

only a white woman could comfortably say that white privilege & gendered oppression work completely separate LMAO and yk what i dont think you even really believe that bc why would you immediately come out swinging about my supposed racism against black trans men (MYSELF) specifically over a post that only talked about male privilege.

i know damn well you have a barely coherent prose tucked away about the demonisation of black masculinity being proof of societal misandry that works out REAL well for you when you're arguing with other white folk. i didnt say it before but im gonna say it now, you dont actually give a fuck about black people and you should keep us out of your salty mouth. moving on.

you neednt explain the basics of misogyny, transphobia and cisheteropatriarchy to me. one thing i notice about a lot of you transandrophobia folks is you really like to over explain yourselves. wondering if overwhelming people with words works out for you usually. makes it easier to hide your blatant contradictions and terf-y talking points, yeah?

Like: "And the idea that trans men are liked better by the cishetpatriarchy for wanting to be men" "Surely we don't think cishet men love masculine "women"" is nasty work. this is whyyy i asserted we arent just he/him females to you under the first ask you sent me. cuz i KNEWWW you didnt think of us as men fr. that platitude at the end doesnt mean SHIT. i LIVE as a man & get treated like one. transphobes dont see me as one on principle but a) not everyone i interact with is a transphobe and b) transphobes CANT always tell. but none of that matters cuz we just innocent little girls with a dream, of course. how could we possibly perpetuate societal (trans)misogyny if we only women who want to be men, right.

i assume this is your response to the TERF talking point "trans men are only doing transitioning to escape womanhood & get a slice of male priviege" but it being "what do you mean? trans men will NEVER really be men or seen as men so how could they use it to get male privilege?" ??? plot is LOST. youve gone back to sounding exactly like them.

hopping from calling me racist against black trans men, to realising i am a black trans man, to calling me (and men like me) creeps for the SICK tboy fantasy that is being openly aware of my ability to perpetuate misogyny. wild. WILD. dont even know what to say to you.

i dont feel good around people who hold me hostage to tell me how bigoted (usually racist in my case) they used to be against me either. but the solution wouldnt be to surround myself around white people who dont got the SICK racist fantasy of holding power over me in this society, and it isnt to shut my ears and act like i aint capable of (trans)misogyny at all either? you really feel less safe around trans men who know know that they can be bigoted against you vs ones who dont? i mean. thats you, i guess.

since i'm not a he/him female i think id rather listen to trans women who arent she/her males on actual transmisogyny in queer spaces, bc something tells me your attitude towards it is different from most.

and god, please spare me your examples. i can just look at my actual life and draw smarter conclusions than you have.

[not-goldy]

You sure JK is queer and loves jimin ? I'm genuinely asking lol. Because he's doing everything he can do to show he's so into girls and a fuckboy, just like how he wanted to be seen since the beginning of his career. Both song are so westernized and hetero af. I dont think a man who's queer, in a long term relationship with a man, who loves to sing and respect his art so much will accept this work. Disappointed af and so close to drop JK and Jikook. I kinda liked jK because I thought he's Jimin's partner now that he's proving he's not.. why should I carry a baggage of another man when I can concentrate only on my Jimin ?

I feel gaslit when you guys ask me over and over if I think Jikook are queer or are dating every single time your feelings are bruised by your subjective experience of them in certain moments.

Like why would I think otherwise?

I get exhausted from repeating myself over and over. Yes I'm sure I think he's queer and yes I'm certain I believe he loves Jimin.

My perception of them is not grounded in the matching clothes and shoes they wear or the fan service or from any of those frivolous metrics some base their arguments on.

And I don't have a one dimensional view of them. I see them as human beings with imperfections who make mistakes fight make up break up throw up drink smoke and do all kinds of things the ordinary human being would. I hold that space for them TO BE TOTALLY HUMAN.

And if you saw them as human too you wouldn't reduce them to 1 dimensional creatures who only exist to love each other, prove that love to random insecure spectators and flaunt or validate their sexual identities.

Damn queer people can sing too and not make every damn moment of their lives or song lyric a political statement about their sexuality. That's just wrong of you to hold that sentiment.

Name a single queer artist who don't have a positively het song. From Sam Smith, Frank Ocean to Elton. They probably have some of the biggest straight not so straight songs in the world.

And this is even a conversation that we keep having in queer spaces. Queer artists leaning into heteronormative lyric standards due to commercial motives or fear of coming out is not for you to exploit as bases for your distrust or dislike of an artist.

It's his personal choice whether he wants to sing about boys or girls or chihuahuas. And he is free to sing about whatever he wants. Let's start there.

And this is tone deaf as fuck. You are disappointed because he is not making his work, his bread and butter, his means of making a living all about your bias.

But what of the queer teens and youth who support him and wish for representation and inclusivity? And you cared about representation at all then you would be happy with the diverse cast no? Because that would be a step in the right direction? Cos we need sign language interpretars in there, Trans, and the whole gang up in there if we talking bout representation but no. This is what you is worried about.

Well fuck boy or not he is not fucking you. You shouldn't worry about that. Let Jimin worry about that. It's his D to take.

It's one thing to say you don't enjoy his song lyrics but to conflate that with his entire personality, you are so out of line

[justaboymadeofhoneyandglass]

erm hi!! i wanted to ask about number 5 on the post i just liked- could you please explain that, i really want to know more about the topic :) /np

Ohhhh YAYYYY

Too tired to write this out completely rn so you'll get bullet points lol

Two main parts to this currently ongoing

First of all, the Censorship debate still going on about ao3, yk ppl saying "fanfic about incest, underage sex, rape etc ect (insert legally or morally bad thing) shouldn't exist" is a slippery slope into "media discussing these things should not exist" whcih leads to two things:

1. People not being taught that these are bad things, yes, but they're bad things that happen. Never having them represented in media or having them be a tabboo topic means cutting victims of from help and ways out of abusive situations

2. People being unaware that these are things that can happen to others, leading to way less understanding of trauma and it's consequences and also taking away spaces for survivors to discuss their own experiences whcih is so so important for their own healing.

then, the second part of Censorship that comes to mind rn:

Tiktok. Generally governments trying to ban platforms, websites and books that teach or spread information about things that the government does not want ppl to know about

Governments or states banning books

Leads to what is essentially the government controlling what people consume and therefore, controlling them.

Governments do this when they know they're in the wrong, and know that the people want them to change

They cut them off from platforms where they can discuss and talk (tiktok) to stop them from organizing or supporting each other

They ban books, and other media to stop people educating themselves about things, because an uneducated person is wayyy easier to conte that someone who is educated

Also, to stop people from questioning the views of the people around them, a lot of gay people might never question their families or communities homophobic views if they didn't have access to other queer people and queer media to help them find themselves

Conclusion; by controlling the media, they try to control the people, we need to be constantly aware of this and combat it in different ways

Pirating various media is a good start, Sci hub let's you read a lot of articles usually behind pay walls, you can get copies of a lot of banned books online

Also, one last thing, Censorship was one of the things that helped Hitler build up Nazi germany. So many history educate people are screaming right now, because what Trump is doing in America is so so similar to what Hitler did in germany back then, and we need to keep that in mind, this isn't a new idea or a new strategy, we have to listen to people who are more educated about this, I'll find some and send them your way if you want

cus i dont know all that much but I'm also tired as fuck rn lol

Hope that helps!

[my-castles-crumbling]

hiya cas!! so i saw about your new job - congratulations!! im glad you were able to find something better for you, especially somewhere where your identity will be respected <33

as for advice with middle schoolers, ive only done a short teaching experience with kids aged 13-16 but hopefully some of it could be of use! (once ive finished my university course in teaching, ill absolutely be asking your advice in return ahaha)

so this ones less like advice and more just... a suggestion, i guess? maybe not for your first year there if you dont want to have too much on your plate or if you dont have time, but if theres any sort of extracurricular activities or lunchtime clubs you might want to set up, do it!! it creates such a safe space for kids if they dont feel like they can go outside/in the lunchhall etc - i definitely benefitted from a few myself when i was at school - and it helps make your classroom feel like a place kids can go to whenever they need help, which is huge. my english teacher at my first high school literally saved me by setting up her creative writing club, and we barely actually wrote stuff. but just by her having that space for me, it made me feel like her room was a welcoming place for me to exist whenever i needed support or somewhere to take a breath, and showed me that she was a safe person to be around <3

also, this maybe seems like an obvious one but just be yourself! dont try too hard to be likeable; im absolutely not saying to be an awful person, but i just mean that trying too hard will make the kids lose any respect for you because theyll deem you cringe :/ be yourself!! im sure theyll love you!

its okay to make mistakes, too, and if you do make any, dont try to hide them if anyone notices!! the kids need to know that its okay not to get things right all the time - perfection is not going to happen every time! i wish someone had shown me that in school. most of my teachers either hid their mistakes or they blamed it on others, which in turn made me feel like i had to hide and deflect my own mistakes too. its still a habit im trying to unlearn

i dont think ive got much else to say? a lot of it looks to have already been covered by others ahaha

best of luck!! youve got this in the bag, cas <33

Hi hon!!! Thank you so much for all of this advice, I really appreciate it. I think it's hilarious that you were in a middle school creative writing club that didn't actually do much writing because...I was too lol. Is that a common queer experience? Were your teacher's initials perhaps DM? (because that would be so fucking insane).

But YES I definitely want to do a club. I actually don't know if they have a GSA yet, so if they don't I'm gonna look into that. But if they do, a writing club sounds amazing.

[our-queer-experience]

hey i have literally never sent anything to this before but. yeah i need to say stuff somehow SO

i fucking hate being a weird or uncommon queer person. i wish i was socially acceptable in my own community. i wish i could just be a transmasc gay guy or something. i wish i could just be a nonbinary lesbian. i hate feeling masculine and feminine and i hate my weird types of dysphoria and i hate being a transmasc butch lesbian and i hate never getting relatable representation because it makes existing with my own peers even harder than it already is as a queer person in general. i hate myself for being like this.

dont know if you allow vents or stuff like this but im not feeling very positive about my identity and i needed to put it Somewhere so here it is. sorry, love your blog.

i’m absolutely find with vents and will usually reply to them, and i need you to know i hear your frustration. community discourse is shit. sometimes lgbt people are supper defensive of themselves and it leads to them attacking others, which is awful. we shouldnt perpetuate the shit we put up with.

as a trans person with a very simple and binary identity, im on your side on this one. i love complex and contradictory identities. i think they’re great and a part of our community that i cherish.

and believe it or not, there’s a large community of transmasc butch lesbians! yall have a long history, too. maybe not in person where you are, but there are online spaces. i don’t really use discord, but i’m considering making a server for people like you, who are a minority within a minority looking for a community and such. if you’d be interested in that, i’ll finally get around to figuring out how discord works lol.

[andromerot]

i dont want to be uncompassionate but i simply do not understand where these Ohhh no queer spaces apart from nightlife we need to make the Gay Library Coffeeshop Collective Art Moment because those literally Exist. idk i saw a lot of these opinions from people in the us or such so i didnt question it but ive seen it lately in buenos aires (like two times and one was yank but wtv) and its puzzling lol. the amount of expositions art fairs drag performances political organizing movie showings is overwhelming and i guess you can count music shows as nightlife but theyre not like, expensive clubbing? i have like 80% queer acquaintances and i go dancing like three times a year. i know it sucks to not find your place because i AM ! a very socially awkward person who has a hard time making friends and it did take me some effort to find the places i feel welcome in and i have fun in and also im the today i will be drinking and smoking cigarettes in a public park at 2 pm friend because im still unemployed which most people dont get to be but idk sometimes its just a bit silly. i wont deny its hard but dont act like the scene doesn't exist. SILLY!!!! we're cool though :)

[redheadbigshoes]

Might have sent this ask already idk tumblr is weird

Not well-verse in online queer discourse but the whole bi lesbian thing pisses me off. So like, bi women in lesbian spaces exist and there are two types

1) the gay leaning bi woman, cause like if she identifies more with being wlw shes gonna be in wlw spaces. But 95% of the time if shes dating a man she's not bringing him to the lesbian bar.

2) the "im technically bi but i dont really care about men or want to deal with them" sapphic. Sometimes they call themselves lesbians. Sometimes they call themselves bi or sapphic. None of them bringing men to lesbian spaces

The second type is what i assumed the bi lesbian discourse was about. Like someone just wanted to give full disclosure. So i was confused what people were talking about. But the fact that ppl are fighting tooth and nail to include men in lesbianism, and then accusing other ppl that dont vibe with that to be transphobic and biphobic gets me so bothered you dont understand. Like why are you so intent on including men in an identity that excludes them

Im a lesbian but i love bi women so much, so the "biphobia fighters" that keep attaching bi women to this "lesbians can be/date men" has me fucking murderous cause why would you do that to them? And im not gonna sit here and act like lesbians cant be transphobic, no sexuallity is the "transphobia free sexuality". But like, we're talking about trans women/transfems right? Not a binary trans man that still wants to call himself a lesbian? Cause while i can sympathize with the fear of falling out of a community you grew up in, i am not gonna attack a lesbian for not wanting to date a trans man.

Sorry for rambling in youre askbox. This thing has me mad on every possible side

I feel like people also have to learn to understand the difference between wlw/sapphic spaces and lesbian spaces. When people use so much lesbian as an umbrella term for any wlw people tend to forget lesbians are also not attracted to men and that is also an important aspect of our identity. A lot of people tend to think we only suffer because of our attraction to women while we also do suffer a lot from not being attracted to men.

The bi lesbian discourse is partially about the second example you gave tbh.

Tbh the whole “lesbians can date men” coming from “bi lesbians” is usually rooted in transphobia too lol, both because they think trans men can be lesbians (which just shows how they don’t really view them as men) but also because they’re transmisogynistic so they think if a lesbian is attracted to a trans woman that is not so different than being attracted to a man…

People love attacking lesbians no matter what.