#then callum would get hold of the death note

[enbeemagical]

Aaravos as a shinigami

is this anything

[dragon-susceptible]

Different Path Taken

Fandom: The Dragon Prince

Rating: T

Characters so far: Runaan, Rayla, Callum, Ezran, Callisto, Andromeda, Skor, and Ram

Summary: The assassins really can't take vengeance for a life that was never taken, and when Rayla shows him the egg Runaan realizes they're doomed to failure no matter what. He gathers the other assassins and they make a different call.

Note: This may become a much longer fic that covers more of the events of the show. I'd actually like it to be a longer running AU, but I genuinely don't know if I'll be able to hold onto my writing groove long enough to just follow through the ripple effects this change would have on every season. So for now, it's going on tumblr as chapters, and if I get through all of season 1's events I'll put it onto AO3 as a proper fic.

How Things Changed: Moonrise

“How can we take vengeance for an act that never happened?  Ye have to call it off.” Rayla pressed.

His mind was already racing.  They couldn’t.  They were bound to take vengeance for a death, but if the original victim was not yet dead, their mission was impossible.  They would fail tonight, no matter what actions they took, because their task could not be completed. 

“Rayla, you know it doesn’t work that way.  We bound ourselves.  There’s only one way to . . .” Runaan broke off.  There was only one way for them to release themselves.  If the victim they fought for called off the mission, then -

“Runaan, please,” Rayla begged. “There has to be another way.  This is a miracle, a chance for peace!”

Peace? “The humans struck down the King of the Dragons,” Runaan snapped back. “And stole his only egg.  What chance is this for peace?”

“Because we want to give it back,” The small boy holding the egg replied before Rayla could, gray eyes wide and earnest. “If we bring the egg back to its mother, maybe she won’t be angry anymore!  We can have peace again.”

He was just young and naive enough to believe it, too. “No.  Give me the egg.  We will take it back to Xadia ourselves.”

“Nope.  Sorry.  The gesture that matters is if it comes from us.” The older boy argued, though as Runaan bared his fangs he saw his gloved hands shaking. “We want to do this.  To make up for what our people have done to the dragons.”

This was rapidly going sideways.  Rayla couldn’t stop him, but she could slow him down long enough for the boys to escape with the egg if he tried to take it by force.  Aside from that, if anything happened to the egg and the Dragon Queen discovered they had not recovered it, her wrath would come down on Moonshadow Forest as well as Katolis.  It had to make it back to Xadia.  Worse, it had to at least leave the castle with these human children.

They would have to leave the king alive to make it work.  If they killed only him the news would reach Xadia before they could return, and the consequences for the assassins’ families could be severe.  No sending the shadowhawk, then.  If the mission simply was postponed, the dragons would at least wait for the next full moon before they reacted, assuming something had delayed their journey.

“Runaan, listen,” Rayla pleaded again.

“Wait here.” He said shortly. “I will gather the others.  This . . . changes things.” He glanced over the children, one frightened but too naive to understand what danger he was in, one terrified, and then- 

He turned away from Rayla’s face and added the rest over his shoulder. “A vote must be taken.  Stay here.  Stay hidden.” He leaped back up onto the crenellations and ran for Andromeda’s pathway.

 Runaan sent Andromeda to fetch the others and fell back to Rayla’s position.  He could not risk her trust in him failing, and her bolting again.  Luckily, she and the human children, and the precious dragon egg they carried, all remained where he had left them.  For once.

The other assassins weren’t far behind, and when he spotted the shades begin to approach, he showed himself again, dropping onto the rampart path with her.  He stood across from her as before, but faced the approach of the other assassins.  He did not draw his weapons.  They would know not to attack.

“What is this?” Callisto was the first to speak, shimmering back from Moonshadow form on a crenellation just ahead of the human children.

“Is that what it looks like?” Andromeda asked in awe, her eyes already fixed on the dragon egg as she landed on Rayla’s other side.

Skor landed in a crouch and his eyes fixed on Rayla, his teeth bared, but he didn’t move towards her.  Ram landed beside him and ignored her entirely. “You can’t just disrupt the entire plan once it’s already begun, Runaan.  It’s a path to failure.”

“No plan survives direct contact with the enemy.” Runaan replied dryly. “And circumstances have changed.  Dramatically.” He gestured at the egg. “Rayla, tell them what you told me.”

“Me?” Rayla almost yelped, but she gathered herself when he raised an eyebrow at her, and turned to the other assassins. “The egg of the dragon prince wasn’t destroyed.  It was stolen.  These human princes found it and now they wish tae return it in hopes of makin’ amends for what was done, an’ foundin’ a new era of peace.  We can’t take vengeance for an act that never happened, we have tae help them get the egg home to its mother!”

To its mother.

Runaan’s lips thinned, thinking of the same thing he imagined Rayla was, and the betrayal of the girl’s own mother, which had led to all this. “She is right,” He said firmly before any of the others could reply. “No matter what actions we take tonight, we will fail.  We are bound to take a life for a life.  If the death we avenge has not yet happened, the life we take is not an exchange.  We will not be unbound.”

The other assassins exchanged glances, and Skor finally shimmered back from Moonshadow form to press his lips into a thin line.  Ram jumped down from the crenellations. “So we kill the king, and then take the egg back to Xadia.” He said, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“We would rather you didn’t,” The older prince said, and Callisto’s mouth twitched up at the corner.

Runaan shook his head. “No.  If we kill the king and word reaches Xadia that we completed only half our mission, and abandoned the rest, you know the price our families will pay.” He met Ram’s gaze until the boy dropped it, eyes widening with realization. “Likewise, if word reaches the dragon queen that we did not recover the egg when we had the chance, consequences could be far worse.”

“So why not just take the egg back ourselves?” Callisto asked practically. “Why do we need the extra weight?  They’re children.  They won’t be able to travel as fast as we can.  They’ll slow the whole mission down.”

“Perhaps.  But they believe they can make amends for what was done to the Dragon King, and Rayla believes in their cause.” Runaan said, and looked at each of them in turn. “And she may not be able to stop us.  But she can hold us here long enough for them to escape with the egg - or at least raise the alarm to ensure that we fail at all of it.”

“She wouldn’t.” Andromeda said, but her brows were furrowed.

Rayla flicked open her butterfly blades, her face hardening. “Care tae gamble on that?”

“Having the human children with us would provide an advantage movin’ back through Katolis.” Callisto said without quite looking at anyone.

“What possible advantage could there be in that?” Ram demanded.

Skor looked through his hair at Callisto and bared his fangs. “We don’t.  Take.  Hostages.”

Callisto shook their head. “No.  We don’t.  But they don’t know that.” He looked up at Runaan. “We have willin’ volunteers to make confrontation we have on this side of the border easier.”

Runaan nodded. “We do not judge.  We do not decide right and wrong.  We take life only when it is necessary to prevent greater evil.  The king in that tower has committed a terrible crime, but if we kill him now, when this egg lives, and fail to bring it home, we bring down the wrath of both human kingdoms and the dragons upon our home.  I believe our best course of action is to assist the human princes in their gesture of peace, for now.  If we lose too much time . . . we may reevaluate.”

“We’ve got a week.” Skor said flatly.

“He has a point,” Andromeda said with a frown. “We didn’t even make the trip here in a week with just the six of us.  How will we make it with those two slowing us down?”

Callisto tilted their head and jumped down to the ramparts. “Then it may be useful to us to bring them, even if the peace doesn’t work.” He said, and shrugged when they all looked at him. “To carry the egg.” He added with a meaningful flex of his wrist, where the assassin’s binding was already fitted where it had been loose. 

“I believe our best course of action is to leave.” Runaan said bluntly. “We cannot risk losing time or resources in an attack.  We take the egg and the children and bring them back to Xadia as quickly as possible, to minimize the damage this disaster may cause, for dragons, humans, and Moonshadow elves alike.”

“You’ve always led us well.” Callisto said simply, meeting his gaze, and then looked over at Rayla. “And what Rayla’s found here changes things.  We took an oath.  That oath is impossible.  Our only path to freedom for our people at home is to make certain this egg gets back to the Storm Spire.” Callisto took a long, deliberate breath, and met Runaan’s gaze again, and presented their bound hand as they had when they took the oath. “My breath for freedom.  I am with you, Runaan, and Rayla.”

Runaan nodded, something in his core eased at having one of his most trusted warriors at his side.  Callisto had served as his second on this mission and would continue to do so.  He turned his gaze to the next noise, a rustle from Andromeda.

She was looking at Rayla, and then the egg, and shook her head in disbelief. “I pledged my eyes for truth,” She said simply. “This is the truth.  We have to make sure the world knows it.  I am with you, Runaan, Rayla, Callisto.”

Skor finally jumped down from the crenellations, the last of the company to do so.  He looked at Rayla, then at the egg, and finally to Callisto.  His face did something complicated there before he looked back to Runaan. “I swore my strength for honor.  These boys will honor the dragons with this, or we all die trying.  I doubt your motivations, Runaan.  I doubt their convictions.  But if this works?” He shook his head. “Then perhaps some humans have honor in their hearts after all, and we can work with that outcome.  I am with ye.”

Runaan nodded slowly.  He had expected nothing less.  Skor was one of the oldest assassins in the Silvergrove aside from himself, and his trust was hard-won, his loyalty even harder.  He was proud to have attained it, enough to make this work - and fortunate.  If Skor had fought back, he was strong enough to have proved a real problem.

He turned his gaze to the last member of their group.  Ram stood slightly apart from the rest of them, and the young assassin’s gaze moved openly towards the king’s tower before lowering to them. “I pledged my blood for justice.” Ram growled. “There is no justice to that king being left alive after what happened to the King of Dragons.”

“A life for a life?  Is that justice?” Rayla protested, and took a few more steps towards him.

“If you kill him, it just becomes a cycle,” The older prince argued, more firmly than she did, and Runaan’s interest in the boy grew. “The humans strike back again, and then so do you, and it never ends!  We have to stop this, and it starts with getting this egg back to where it belongs.”

Ram bared his fangs at them and looked at Runaan with a challenge in his eyes.

Runaan shook his head. “It’s too risky to start that fight.  If we are to recover the egg, we must leave.  Quickly.  His justice can come later.  But Ram, life and death are a cycle - but life must always come first.”

Ram glanced toward the egg again when Runaan gestured at it, and his clenched fists slowly eased.  He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. “My blood for justice.” He said slowly, but he nodded when he opened his eyes again. “I am with you.”

“My heart for Xadia.” Rayla agreed, and looked to Runaan hopefully. “So we’re doin’ this?  All of us, together?”

“Yes.” His heart ached seeing how eager she was to have them all on her side, as if this were a game she were excited to play.  There was a new depth in her eyes now, though.  She knew what she had risked for this. “We will need to slip out undetected.  Andromeda, Skor, Ram, retreat the way you came in.  Callisto, find us an exit the children can traverse.  You, Rayla and I will guard the egg and the princes.”

“Oh, we can just go down through the halls and leave through the courtyard.” The older prince said. “All the guards are pretty focused on the tower right now.  There’s no one down there.”

No one?  At all?  He’d encountered no guards on his entry path, either.  Runaan frowned. “Has anyone seen guards outside of the tower?” He asked suspiciously.

“No.” Callisto was the only one who replied verbally, but all the assassins shook their heads.

Alarm bells rang in the back of his mind.  What angle was this?  Was this a trap to begin with?  Why wouldn’t the humans be trying to block every entry point? “Rayla, when did you enter the castle?”

“Oh, uh, I dunno?” Rayla answered, clearly caught off-guard by the question. “An hour or so before sundown, I think?  Maybe a little longer.”

“There was still sunlight and you saw no guards?”

“Yeah.  I thought that was a bit weird.”

Weird indeed. 

“I can, maybe clear this up.” The older prince - Runaan really needed to use his name - said. “The Crownguard are concentrating where they know you’ll hit the hardest.  They don’t think they can stop you from getting in, spreading out to cover the entrances will spread them too thin.  They’re just all blocking one location instead.”

It still didn’t feel right, and Runaan was inclined to distrust humans’ word on anything, but he had nothing else to go on. “Go.” He said shortly to the trio he had sent ahead. “But stay on high alert.  Do not engage.  Just leave.  Meet us at camp.”

They nodded, and split up.  Andromeda dropped back down into town, and Skor and Ram darted to other stretches of the wall.  Callisto looked to Runaan with a quirked brow. “We’ll likely not be able to slip through the halls unnoticed.  Especially not you.” They pointed out. 

“We’ll go down through the halls.  I’ll keep an eye on the humans.” Rayla volunteered. “We’ll meet ye in the courtyard below.”

Well, she struggled with orders, but she rarely failed at things she’d volunteered for.  Runaan nodded shortly. “We will meet you there.  Move quickly.” 

She nodded, and turned to usher the human children back inside.  Callisto gave him a look that Runaan firmly ignored as he turned to the castle walls again and aimed for the courtyard.  She would succeed in this.  While she had violated his trust, and his orders, she believed in this, and so he believed she would do it.  It had nothing to do with his soft heart, no matter what Skor or Callisto might think.

Fortunately, the other assassin remained silent as they followed on Runaan’s heels.  Whatever they thought of his agreement, they would not discuss it here.

[starwberryshenanigans]

A THIRD FIC?! WHAT AM I A AUTHOR???

TW FOR PTSD

takes place during s6 at the star scraper when they are about to fly to the nexus. Rayla remebers the last time she was up this high and remebers a certain....event. Ofc Callum helps her through it cuz he's such a good bf.

It was a long way down. Like a really long way down. The clouds didn’t help. They blocked the ground making it impossible to see the bottom.

Just like last tim-. I’m not there. I’m not at the Storm Spire.

But still, she couldn’t shake the feeling. The feeling of the wind pushing her down, helping gravity drag her down to her death. It felt so heavy and yet at the same time completely weightless. The sudden surge of adrenaline didn’t help, making everything seem to almost freeze, giving her plenty of time to engrave the moment in her mind. She really did that. Jump to her death. No second thoughts. Of course it was to stop Viren, but at what cost? Did she really not value herself, her life enough to throw it all away like that? She looked down where she was standing and really realized, processed everything that happened in that moment.

I really would have d-

“Hey” Callum gently took her hand that she apparently had been digging her nails into. “Are you okay?”

She snapped out of the moment she had been reliving and looked up at Callum.

“Yeah, I guess I’m just a little nervous, you know since last time I was up this high I…yeah” She lowered her eyes, the memories starting to replay again. Callum must have noticed as her hands  shaking since he began to rub her back like his mom used to do for him when this kind of thing happened to him. He looked her in the eyes.

“We don’t have to do this.” He said firmly yet comfortingly.

“No.” She said quickly. “It’s faster this way. We need to hurry.” She looked down again and furrowed her brows. “Plus, I need to get over this already.” There was a hint of annoyance in that last part. “It’s been long enough.”

“Rayla.” He cupped her face in his hand, looking her in the eyes to make sure she knew how important this was. “There is no time limit when it comes to healing.” His voice was soft and sweet. “We each heal at our own pace because we each process in different ways.”

She sighed.

“I know, you're right.” She smiled. “As always,” she added.

He laughed a little. She was doing better if she was able to joke a little. But she was still shaking, less mind you, but still shaking. He sat down and patted the space next to him, signaling for her to sit next to him.

“You know,” he started, bumping his shoulder against hers when she did sit. “When things like this used to happen to me when I was little my mom always told me to breathe” A smile grew as he remembered her words. “She would always say ‘You just need to breathe’ and it always helped.”

“Just breathe?” How could something as simple as breathing help?

“Yeah!” Callum encouraged, “Just inhale" He then took a big breath in and motioned for Rayla to do the same. He then held up his hand as if to say “hold your breath”. He then counted to five on his fingers and then exhaled. “Now exhale.” And she did.

“Good! How do you feel?”

She paused to really think about it. “Better, I think?”

“Good.”

He felt her hand again and noted that her shaking had subsided a little more. “Want to try again?”

“Sure.” She said more convinced this time.

“Okay now..”

They spent the next fifteen minutes breathing, as stupid as that sounded to Rayla. Callum guided her through it the entire time, breathing with her as an example. She hated to admit it but it did help. A lot.

“How are you feeling?” he asked after a bit.

“Better.” she exhaled one last time. “Much better actually…thank you, Callum. For doing this for me.” She smiled softly.

“Of course.” He said as if it had been nothing, even though for Rayla it meant everything. “I would do anything for you.”

She smiled again and then after a moment, stood up determinedly.

“I’m ready.” she stated confidently.

She started walking towards the edge and then froze. The memories came rushing again. The shaking started again.

“Just breathe” She felt a hand on her shoulder and realized Callum was suddenly next to her. “Just like we practiced."

“Just breathe.” She echoed.

Inhale.

She felt the cool air fill her lungs.

She remembered Callum putting his hand up to tell her to hold her breath.

Hold.

She remembered him counting. She counted.

1,2,3,4,5

She remembered him exhaling.

Exhale.

and she felt a weight lift from her as she did.

“You did great.” he said proudly. “Better?”

She sighed, relieved this time.

“Yeah, much.” She took his hand and looked in his eyes. “Let’s go.”

He squeezed her hand. “Let’s go.”

pls note that I wrote Raylas experience based off of my own. People can have different experiences with PTSD and my experience is not the only one. You experiences are valid. You are valid. <3

also here is a source if you think you might have PTSD or just want to learn more about it. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd

idea and loosely based on @blutopaz15's fic titled "Ready" will link below.

i also posted on ao3 along w my other two mini fics

[thatartiststudios]

I’ll Give You My Life (From Now Till Forever)

Chapter 6: I'm Holding The World In My Arms (Why Do I Get This?)

Callum’s steps were heavy as he trudged back to their tent, his mind swirling with the grim images of the camp. The scent of blood and ash clung to the air, and the sounds of quiet sobs and pained groans echoed in his ears. As he passed by the rows of wounded, the bandaged soldiers, and the still bodies covered with cloth, he felt the weight of it all pressing down on him.

He tried to offer comforting words, to show sympathy, but every time he opened his mouth, nothing came out. How could he? What could he say to those who had lost so much? To those who would never see their loved ones again?

His mind drifted back to Rayla, as it always did in moments like these. She was still here, alive and breathing, waiting for him at the end of each harrowing day. Despite everything they’d been through, every brush with death, she was still by his side. He almost resented the comfort it brought him, the fact that he could return to her while others were left with nothing but memories.

Callum entered their tent, his hands trembling slightly as he approached the table laden with maps and scrawled notes. He braced his palms against the surface, leaning forward as if the weight of his thoughts was too much to bear. His eyes scanned the maps, the carefully drawn lines and markings that had guided their strategies, but his mind was elsewhere.

What did I do to deserve this? he thought, his fingers curling into fists. Why do I get to be the one who survives? The one who gets to come back to her?

Continue on AO3

[korgbelmont]

Part 1

History tries to repeat itself. But this time, things aren't the same.

Written in the present tense

Warnings: Use of a gun, violence, death

Word Count: 1156

Notes: Title made on cooltext.com

At their hangout at the abandoned building site, the remaining gang members that attacked Callum and Sarah many months ago divide up the loot from their latest assault. But as they do, the lights go out and all the doors close.

Leader - What was that?

Voice - An opportunity...

An silhouetted figure stands in the doorway, eyes glowing red. The gang leader points a gun at the figure. But the moment he pulls the trigger, the figure is gone.

Leader - What...?

Screams fill the room and the leader fires off shots before emptying the clip. Silence fills the room and the leader is grabbed by the figure, staring into the red eyes.

TWO MONTHS LATER

Sealing up a box with her Valkyrie garb, Rose hands it to Sarah and she places it in the loft along with a few other bits before coming down the ladder. The door opens and Callum steps in with a bag of takeout.

Callum - Hope you two are hungry.

Rose - Starving!

She grabs some plates from the cupboard while Sarah grabs cutlery and glasses before taking a seat with Rose. Dividing up the food, Callum goes to sit, but something forces him to pause.

Sarah - Callum?

The lights go out and the door is kicked open. Callum looks over his shoulder to see the same gang members that attacked him and Sarah so many months ago.

Callum - No.

He speeds at one of them, but the gang member speeds out of the way at the same speed as him.

Callum - (What?!)

He crashes into the wall while another gang member leaps at Sarah, but that turns out to be the gang members final act as Sarah runs one of her blades through his heart, turning him to ash.

Sarah - They're Vampires!

Callum's eyes glow red. History is trying to repeat itself. Him. Sarah. The same gang members. When the two of them were human, it was one thing. But now, they aren't.

Bloodlust driven rage taking over, Callum speeds past everyone, grabbing one of the Valkyrie blades and speeding through the room, starting with the gang member who has Rose pinned at the wall. Within a few seconds, all the gang members drop down to the ground as their heads fall, all of them turning to ash. His breathing ragged, Callum whips his head around, looking for anymore. Sarah carefully approaches him.

Sarah - Callum... It's okay...

He whips round at her, his hand tightening on the blade.

Sarah - It's alright, Callum. Listen to my voice.

His breathing calms and he drops the blade as his eyes return to their normal colour.

Callum - Sorry...

Sarah - Don't be.

Voice - You've become more powerful than I expected, my son.

They all look round as a silhouetted figure stands in the doorway, eyes glowing redder than a normal Vampire. He looks around at the piles of ashes.

??? - I had hoped they would last a bit longer.

Callum - Your voice...

??? - So you remember me, do you?

Sarah - Callum, who is he?

Callum moves back, standing protectively in front of the two Valkyries.

Callum - You're the one who turned me.

??? - I am.

Callum speeds at him, but is simply knocked aside, and left unconscious. Taking up her other blade, Sarah flies at the Ancient, but he grabs her wrist, holding her in place.

??? - Interesting.

He throws her aside and sets his blood red eyes on Rose. In an instant, he disappears. The lights return and Rose goes over to Sarah, helping her to her feet.

Sarah - I'm okay, sweetheart.

Callum soon comes to, pushing himself up onto his feet. He goes over to Sarah and Rose, wrapping both of them in a tight hug.

Sarah - We're okay. But it looks like we have a new problem.

Callum - I don't get what he wants though...

He steps back and looks around at the piles of ashes.

Callum - Why them?

He kneels down, his feelings mixed. These were there people who killed him and Sarah, the people who he spent his first few weeks as a Vampire hunting for revenge. But now they seemed to just be thrown at them as nothing. Sighing, he stands while Sarah looks over the door.

Sarah - We should pack some overnight bags. Find somewhere else to stay for the night. I'll contact Marianne, see if she can find us somewhere.

Rose - Actually... I might know somewhere. If it's empty.

At the city clocktower, the trio head up to the room behind the clock and the two Valkyries set their bags down.

Sarah - This is rather open.

Callum sets his bag down out of the way of the clock face, closer to the walls.

Sarah - How'd you know about this place?

Rose - It's kind of my go to place when I needed to get away from everything. Pre and post death.

Sarah turns to Callum.

Sarah - Do you think you'll be safe here? With the sun and all that.

Callum - As long as I keep closer to the walls, I'll be okay.

They settle in on the ground, and Sarah snuggles up to Callum while Rose sleeps in the light. As the sun rises, Sarah wakes for a moment, and uses her wing to protect Callum.

The following evening, a blurry eyed Callum wakes to find Rose talking with someone. His vision clearing, he sees that it is Marianne and Sarah. Standing, Callum stretches, his elbows cracking and joins them.

Marianne - Morning.

Callum - Marianne. How's Percy doing?

Marianne - He's in the care of some WItches I trust. But I haven't been told anything.

Her expression turns more serious as she takes a deep breath.

Marianne - I've been made aware of your situation. The Ancient and all that. So do you think there's a chance he's who we also believe him to be?

Callum - I know he's the one who made me this. Whether he's Percy's father is something I don't know. But I know it's me he wants. It looked like he was testing me or something. See what I could do.

Marianne - How did he--

Sarah - He turned the gang who killed us. Threw them at us.

Marianne - Where are they now?

Callum - Currently piles of ash in our home.

Marianne looks at him, speechless.

Marianne - Well... Okay then. Look, I have more than enough room at my home for the three of you, and trust me when I say it's Vampire safe.

Sarah - Are you sure?

Marianne - More than.

Rose - Thank you.

Marianne gives Rose a sweet smile.

Marianne - Of course. Now come on. I have a car waiting outside.

The three gather their bags and follow the Vampire out to her car.

[jamieedlund]

Aaravos made Callum too hot for everyone but Rayla has to be like the "My boyfriend and his very tall and sparkly master" but Callum is holding the worm instead cause Aaravos lets him cling to it during the night.

(skip to TLDR if reading isn't your passion🙏🙏🙏)

I feel like I wouldn't touch on Callum and Rayla's relationship because I'm one of the people who strongly feel that there isn't any chemistry in their romance. I will say this though, because the way I'm writing this basically kicked off after season 3- The reason why Callum and Aaravos, in ANY POSSIBLE WAY can become close is because he did not find solace in the discrimination that the elven mages(and maybe most of the elves too tbh like c'mon do you really believe discrimination can be erased in a span of months??) treats him even after he helped protected the baby dragon;

Possibly also the fact that in the book Rayla left him to find her parents. Which he probably would not blame her, but that does contribute to the overwhelming possibility that after meeting Aaravos, Callum's opinion as well as his interest in the people he knew would change. (and not to mention the fact that because everyone hates Aaravos so much, they have to be on the run)

(sketch from a planned piece I wanted to post on valentine but never finished, Cally wanted to buy a thing for his master because they only have each other while the entire world is hunting them down)

And to be honest Aaravos is more interesting and beautiful than anyone he has ever met, not to mention all the preachy garbage people has been feeding him about how "dark magic" is bad and his master is somehow "a fate worse than death" but in reality it's more complicated than that. Would he not have loathed if not a little pissed that the world, especially i feel that Rayla will too, treated the man he adores like some sorta plague?

It should be noted that I intend their love for each other to be not quite friends but not quite family either, but non of them wants to force the other to do anything they don't want and I will leave it at that.

Callum was robbed of most of his personality in the show, I feel deeply that he would not be willing to continue a normal boring life as well as a relationship where his partner does NOT understand him, at ALL. When he talks about magic, she doesn't have a clue. She doesn't like his jokes (to be fair he doesn't find her joke funny either), she does not get him and always calls him weird, in a bad way. All of these are canon btw. TLDR In conclusion...Callum probably doesn't see himself as too hot or too attractive, but if he had acknowledged Aaravos as his master, he would have had a change of perspective, maybe SEVERAL CHANGES of perspectives... therefore a normal life and his teenage romantic relationship will probably seems unappealing to him.

You can disagree! This is just how I intended for their characters to turn out in the way I'm writing them. But in the end of the day, yes. he would hug the caterpillar to sleep...when he did not know that was also his master--- Callum is very aware of his master's beauty, yknow like a normal teenager... He's probably shy 👉👈

I actually did this concept a long time ago wheezes

laughs in he probably did the little pet talk with the caterpillar unknowingly before he sleeps---like you're so adowable! i wuv you so much etc--- and who's a good little squishy---- idek how do people talk to their cats....

[kradogsrats]

Rote Memorization (Fic)

Last of the currently pending Bodyswap AU ficlets! Pretty much a part two of Matriculation, but I separated them because the mood is so different.

Just imagine one of those “A Day or Two Later” Spongebob interstitial cards between them.

--

Claudia flung the study doors open almost immediately at Callum’s knock. “You came!”

“Of course I did,” Callum stood in the doorway, looking a little awkward. “I said I wanted to learn, didn’t I?”

Claudia hadn’t really doubted it--she knew he wouldn’t lie to her--but decisions made in daylight were easy to rethink when lying awake at night. Even if he chose his path for all the right reasons, Callum was susceptible to overthinking and self-doubt. Not the best traits for a Dark mage, so it would be her task to build his confidence.

“Come in, then. You’re going to love this!” She crossed to the desk, a little spring of satisfaction in her step.

Callum followed more slowly, unbelting his sketchbook and writing case from the straps that held them. “Should I take notes?”

“No, there will be plenty of time later for you to copy dusty old books in the library,” she replied. “Today is a practical lesson. Come over here.”

She slid the dish she had prepared along the desk toward him as he approached.

Callum examined the bowl of small, glossy black eggs dotted with glowing flecks like starlight. “So is this a snack, or...?”

Claudia laughed. “These are midnight quail eggs. You’re going to use them to cast a spell--one that I think you’ll be quite good at.”

“Did they come from Xadia?” Callum picked up one of the eggs, examining it more closely. His face was lit with curiosity and excitement, which made Claudia smile.

“No, there’s a farm near the border with Duren that breeds midnight quail and a few other Xadian animals as livestock. Maybe we can go up there sometime--Ezran would love it. They’re so fluffy, and completely tame. They’ll eat right out of your hand.”

She had chosen the spell and its reagent carefully. Callum would have to be eased into Dark magic gently, or his doubts would get the better of him. The last thing she wanted was for him to convince himself that he couldn’t, or worse, shouldn’t be doing magic because of some misplaced pity for an animal.

The unfertilized eggs were one of the most inoffensive reagents she could think of, though they had barely a sip of magic in them. Years ago, she had used them to project a steady beam of moonlight from her hand--a spell she could now cast without any reagent at all.

“Midnight quail are connected to the Moon primal,” Claudia continued. “The Moon primal holds magic related to illusion and transformation--we see many faces as the moon goes from dark to full, but they’re all the same moon. It has other applications, too, but we’ll cover those another day.”

She lifted an egg. “Eggs like this tend to have very little usable magic, but that’s a good thing for our purposes today. Dark magic takes endurance--try to cast a spell that uses too much magic, and you’ll regret it.”

Callum laughed nervously. “Regret it how, exactly?”

“Oh, anywhere from a bad headache to instant death, depending.” She looked at him seriously. “I’m telling you this so you know how important it is to be patient. No skipping ahead.”

“No skipping ahead,” Callum repeated, nodding. “Definitely got that.”

“This spell uses the Moon primal magic in the egg to create a simple illusion--an image of a memory from the mage. Watch.”

She punched her thumb through the egg’s shell, breaking into the bright blue yolk. The incantation rolled off her tongue as she raised her hand. “Yromem Ym’laever.”

Sparkling blue-silver motes gathered in her palm, then leapt into the air. They traced an image that slowly became clearer and clearer--the figure of Callum himself, at breakfast. The image moved silently, showing him shoveling forkfuls of pancakes into his mouth before reaching for the syrup.

She dumped the remains of the egg into the empty bowl she’d brought for that purpose, and wiped her hand on a towel. Callum watched with interest, cradling his own egg in his palm. “So do you have to squish it like that? Is it part of the spell?”

“Can’t make a Dark magic omelette without breaking a few eggs, right?” she deadpanned.

“I suppose not,” Callum conceded wryly. He ran his fingers over his egg’s smooth, black shell.

“But actually no, not really,” Claudia continued. “Though it does help a lot, especially when you’re starting out. Experienced mages can sort of feel the magic inside and draw it out directly. It’s less messy, but a lot more difficult. Damaging or destroying the physical reagent when you start the spell helps expose the magic so you can use it easily.”

Callum looked down at the egg, then back up at Claudia. “And what was that you said? Eer-um... how are you even able to pronounce that?”

“Reveal my memory. It’ll come to you.” She nodded at him encouragingly. “Give it a try.”

He made a skeptical face, looking again at the egg like it was preparing to somehow betray him. “Okay, then. Here goes.”

He squeezed the egg between his fingertips until it cracked, yolk and insides sliding out into his hand. His eyes widened, then slowly darkened with the spilled-ink of the magic being absorbed into him. The incantation oozed from his mouth like syrup--a little hesitant, but clear and complete.

The bright motes sprang from his hand to trace through the air, and the resulting image formed rapidly and crystal clear--every element of its background as sharp and defined as its central focus. Claudia felt a twinge of envy, though that was why she had chosen the spell in the first place. Getting a better result from the spell than she could would boost Callum’s confidence.

Fully resolved, the image still blurred at its edges, but clearly due to lack of magic to spread the scene further, rather than failure to recall details. King Harrow smiled out at them, his eyes alight--it was Harrow as he had been before, tall and broad and brown-skinned, gold gleaming in his hair and the crown on his brow. His mouth moved silently, and he laughed. Telling a joke, no doubt. Probably a terrible one, too.

But passing unnoticed behind him, rolling his eyes even as the hint of a smile tugged at his serious mouth, was--

“Dad,” Claudia whispered.

“Oh no,” Callum exclaimed. “Claudia, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean--”

He fanned his hands back and forth through the image, as if trying to disperse smoke. “How do I make this go away?”

Claudia’s chest felt like it was full of knives, but she laughed. “It’s okay, Callum. I’m--I’ll be fine.”

“I’m so stupid,” Callum continued, distraught. “I should have thought--”

“Callum,” Claudia said, louder. She grabbed his hands. “Callum. It’s okay.”

He looked like he was going to cry, which made the tears gathering in her own eyes well up further. “It’s okay,” she repeated, sounding a little watery. She released one of Callum’s hands and wiped at her eyes, trying to smile again. “I just--I miss him, you know?”

Callum looked down at where she still held his hand. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I get it. I still--I miss my mom every day.”

His face shifted into horror again and he snatched his hand away like he’d been burned. “I’m so sorry, your mom’s also--”

Claudia laughed for real, this time. “Callum, calm down. Here.”

She picked up another egg. This time, she didn’t break the shell, just plucked out the magic directly and let it coalesce in the air with the incantation. She didn’t usually cast that way--getting her hands dirty had never bothered her--but she felt like showing off a little. The egg dulled in her hand, the shine leaving its shell and the sparkle of its bright flecks dimming.

“I’ve done this one before,” she said, as the image traced itself in the air.

Callum’s mother and her own slowly came into focus, standing in the doorway of her childhood home. It was softer than her earlier image of Callum, the details murkier. Queen Sarai smiled gently, her expression warm, but Claudia’s mother was more vague. Her face shifted between a smile similar to Sarai’s and one that stretched thin over exhaustion and worry. She flickered between leaning against the doorframe, relaxed and casual, and against Sarai, relying on her for support.

“I actually remember your mom better than mine, now. The spell gives your memory a boost, but there’s only so much it can do,” Claudia said. She handed him an egg. “Your first was so detailed--see if you can make mine any clearer.”

Callum’s incantation was smoother, this time. More confident. Even discounting his incredible memory, he really was a natural. Queen Sarai’s face sharpened into perfect clarity, though the details of her dress and surroundings remained less defined. Claudia’s mother didn’t change, seeming blurrier than ever next to Sarai’s new definition.

Callum frowned. “It didn’t work. I don’t remember her at all.”

“You were little,” Claudia reassured him. “We both were. It’s normal not to remember things from when you’re that young, and the spell can’t work with nothing.”

She had no portraits of her mother, no letters or keepsakes, and only a handful of memories. No matter how clear the spell-image became, it would have been like looking at a stranger.

Callum’s face was still troubled, his eyes on Queen Sarai as she slowly faded from the air.

“I wonder what she would think,” he said softly, “about me learning Dark magic. She always seemed to hate it.”

Claudia was aware of the general shape of Sarai’s views on Dark magic, though the queen had died before Claudia cast her first spell. Her father had blamed Sarai, sometimes bitterly and at length, for Harrow’s own shifting stance and the distance it put between them.

She hesitated, then laid a hand on Callum’s shoulder and squeezed it. “I think,” she said slowly, “that she would want you to put your whole heart into whatever you choose to do. If you’re proud of what you learn and accomplish, and of the person you become, then she would be, too.”

He smiled at her, some of the cloud lifting from his face. “I think maybe you’re right.”

“And Callum,” she continued, “you did amazing, today. You really were meant to be a mage.”

“I’m a mage,” he repeated, as if tasting the words. A grin slowly spread across his face. He reached for the dish of eggs still on the desk. “I think I have an idea for another.”

“Not today,” Claudia cut him off gently. “That was more than enough for your first time. You’ll be feeling it, later.”

He couldn’t keep the disappointment off his face. Claudia felt a ripple of smugness--Callum had certainly never been disappointed to end a swordplay lesson with Soren. She’d rub that in her brother’s face, later.

“Though if you need something to fill up your time that badly,” she teased, “I could give you some homework...”

“No, not a problem,” Callum said hurriedly, putting his hands up. “That was definitely enough for today. I’ll probably go to bed early, since I’m so worn out from all that magic!” He gave an exaggerated yawn, squeezing his eyes closed and stretching out his arms. One eye cracked open to peek at her.

Claudia laughed at his expression, and then Callum laughed, too. Then they looked at each other and laughed harder, again and again--breaking into renewed giggles every time they caught each other’s eye. How long had it been since she had laughed with someone like that?

When their mirth finally wound down, Callum collected his sketchbook. He belted it back into place and pulled the strap over his shoulder. “I’ll see you later, then?”

Claudia smiled, tucking a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. “Yeah.”

He was nearly to the door when she suddenly recalled another side effect of first-time spellcasting. “Oh, Callum?” she called after him. “You might have some... kind of weird dreams, tonight. But don’t worry, they don’t mean anything. They’ll pass.”

Callum looked back at her. “Weird how?”

“I still dream about squid every time I cast a really big spell,” she clarified. It was a bit of an understatement, but he didn’t need to know the details of her nightmares. He’d have his own.

“Squid,” Callum repeated. “Okay, I’ll watch out for that.”

He gave her a little wave as he slipped out into the hallway. Claudia waved back, still smiling.

As soon as the door closed again, she sank down into one of the armchairs and buried her face in her hands. The facade covering the storm always brewing inside her had worn paper-thin, and she was relieved Callum had gone before it tore open--but at the same time, part of her wished he had stayed.

Seeing his eyes light up, joking with him--it was like the sun breaking through clouds. She had actually been happy, for a moment. Happy like she had been before. Like the cheerfulness hadn’t been a facade at all.

But it was wrong. Shamefully, nauseatingly wrong. She couldn’t let herself be distracted into happiness by something as simple as a boy, even if it was Callum. She’d be happy again once she made things right. She had to focus on what she’d lost.

She reached for the dish and slowly tipped it over, letting the remaining eggs fall and crack open on the floor. One by one, memories flared into life around her.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

B2:S - Chapter 5

Much of this series will be about the differences and additions in the novel version, and how they contribute to my understanding of story canon. But there will be character appreciation, the odd theory and headcanon, and suchlike as well.

Here be lots of Viren deets, Best Boy Soren deets, some writing/continuity stuff, worldbuilding appreciation and half of a theory, Detective Rayla, Moon Temple geeking, Claudium and dark magic, and more!

Spoilers for Book Two: Sky below.

(I know for darn sure that I wrote up a post for chapter 4, but I can't find it anywhere so I guess Tumblr ate it and I'll have to redo it at some point, but today is not that day)

Viren, my evil dude, my bad guy, coming in clutch with the worldbuilding and backstory again! If you want to know decades of information, you gotta talk to Viren. Or read his scenes, at least. Here, he seems to not sleep much when he has a big problem to analyze his way through. Solutions trump pretty much everything else in this guy's life, and he's had a really hard week with a lot of new and complicated problems. Of course he's getting sleep-deprived trying to find his way through them all.

Harrow put so much trust in Viren when he made him High Mage! He just threw himself extra hard at that Lady Justice blindfold, didn't he? Didn't really want to see what Viren was doing in his magic study, so he left Viren to his devices. And Viren has a lot of devices.

Also, this is fascinating: Viren made the secret passage to his "less official study" in Katolis Castle! And he was inspired to do so by the way his own mentor kept the Puzzle House. What else could a Puzzle House be, except a place with secret passages? Yay! secret headcanon that "the Puzzle House" is just "Katolis Castle" from Kid Viren's perspective tho

So either Viren built all of those passageways, or at least the ones to his dungeon. Which means he has to have, or know where to get, a stash of those glowing blue Moonshadow crystals. Hmmm.

I can't wait to learn more about Kpp'Ar and young Viren, btw. From this description of Viren and all his literal secret ways, it feels like another parallel between Viren and Runaan, with the whole "secretive paths, members only, insider knowledge" type stuff. Only the really cool members of this cult club get to know the secrets, and guess what, kid, you're cool now but you can never tell anyone, okay? Our secret.

Yeahhh, that'll never backfire in any way for either of them.

Kpp'Ar calling puzzles and secrets "man-made magic," though. Yes sir, knowledge is indeed power.

This chapter mentions Runaan by name, from Viren's perspective. Generally that would imply that Viren knows his name, even though assassins do not share their names, and Runaan didn't seem to give his to Viren in the first book. However, there was a scene in book one where the last paragraph switched perspective from Viren to Runaan - a technique that's very common in visual media like movies and shows and gives you that "ohoho they left the room and didn't notice this, but you do!" vibe. Using Runaan's name there in book one, where Viren couldn't see it but readers could, helps them keep track of the assassin's story arc while maintaining Viren's racism.

So in book two, in which Runaan has no onscreen scenes (alas), using his name in a scene that calls back to the events in book one helps us remember what happened in that dungeon cell. It would be a bit muddier to recall the specifics if Viren kept thinking about Runaan as "Elf." So I'm cool with the perspective nudge because it serves a narrative purpose: clarity. But I'm also enjoying the angst of considering that, somehow, Viren learned Runaan's name either during or after the coining spell. Mwa ha ha haaa. (Obligatory "Keep my pretty name outta your mouth" goes here)

Okay, back to Viren's scheming! He took the mirror because it was human-sized in a dragon lair. He knew it didn't really fit there, and that made it interesting, so he stole it. But he realized it was really powerful when Runaan wouldn't tell him squat about it - the assassin's instinct to protect Xadian secrets from human hands meant that Viren was holding a very powerful Xadian secret. And that just made him want it all the more. Ah, Runaan, if only your relationship with lying was, like, the exact opposite of what it is. Nyx could've spun Viren a believable tale in 2 minutes flat.

Also of interest: Viren considers his cursed coins to be a final fate. He expects Runaan to remain in his coin forever. With the Chekhov's coins still extant in the storyline, we can assume that they'll come up again eventually, but Viren has no current plans to do anything with his elf money except carry it around.

It's worth noting that Viren admits that he got impatient when he trapped Runaan in the coin. Runaan's first fate in Katolis was supposed to be death at Soren's hands, but Claudia "saved" him from that. His next fate was to become spell components, but Viren's frustration with his stubbornness "saved" him from that fate, too. So now he's in a coin, where no one can chop him up at all. Yay? No, boo!

We get one last line about Runaan before Viren shifts gears: he makes a point of noting for us that Runaan's shackles are still locked shut. However much of Runaan made it into that coin - body, soul, hair care products - he was magicked there, pulled right out of his restraints.

The creepy black liquid that Viren pours right into his eyes is the last of a powerful potion he got from Kpp'Ar, and its recipe is ancient! Humans used it back in the age of Elarion to see through the illusions of the world. And we get a delightfully creepy bit of description about the preparation of this serum, which makes it abundantly clear that it's a Moon magic-based concoction, harvested from eyeless vipers on a moonless night, with the threat of irrevocable madness ("madness" by whose definition, though) if it's done wrong-

Hang on. Hold up. This is a Plato's Cave reference. OH MY GOD.

No no I'm fine, this is brilliant. Sorry, sorry, I couldn't figure why there was so much description for a potion prep that Viren didn't even have to perform himself. But now I get it. I see the light. HA. I should make a separate post for this, it's amazing.

Anyway, for reference, the humans who used this serum were called the Oracles of Ophidia, and Ophidia is a taxonomy group that includes all modern snakes. Can you say "creepy ancient snake rites"? I can! Woo!

Viren activates the serum with a spell, but apparently he's never done it before. He's not sure if it's supposed to be hot and bubbly, and he worries that it's been tainted by moonlight.

Oh, I do hope so.

The magic potion hurts, a lot. Viren will do just about anything, to himself or anyone, to do what he believes is necessary. He just risked madness and blindness to find out what this mirror does! Viren. Can you just. Take a nap or something. Have a Snickers.

This chapter gives us a fun clue that I don't remember from the show: when Viren's vision clears and he can see, his reflection has white pupils and the room reflected in the mirror has inverted colors. You know where else has inverted colors?

You know who else got white pupils for a hot second?

Okay, now it makes sense! Viren and Lujanne were both seeing into the realm beyond life and death. Him with his moon magic potion, and her with her moon powers on a full moon night at the Moon Nexus. Which is Very Interesting! Is it a direct hint about Aaravos's location, or just a separate cool detail? Orrr, does it look like a direct hint because Aaravos is actually trapped in the world beyond life and death, but it's actually separate and we'll see something about white pupils again later on?

Viren really does have self-esteem issues, we all picked up on it with his rant at his reflection. He throws a fit when he catches himself wondering if he's actually worthless. In the book version of his tantrum, he shoves the mirror and hurls a candelabra instead of flipping a table. He didn't need to shove the mirror to set the fire, but it's in here. Foreshadowing that perhaps, if push comes to shove, Viren will choose himself over Aaravos? Giving Aaravos time to peek through and see that the coast is clear?

Soren, my boyyyyy. He has a rough night at the Moon Nexus because two sides of him are fighting with each other. He struggles to understand Callum's friendship with Rayla, and he also fantasizes about chopping off Rayla's head. One of these is a pretty ordinary thing to do. The other is Soren's internalization of what he needs to do to gain his father's approval. If he brought his dad a chopped off elf head every week, he'd probably feel a lot more confident because Viren would praise him a lot more.

Okay, okay, omg, is it just me, or does the "Moonshadow Madness" story, as it's told in the book, seem like Soren just doesn't know what a monsterfucker is? He thinks an elf bite puts humans under a spell. But vampires are sexy, and some people want them to do more to them than just bite them. A passionate kiss under the moonlight could look very bitey, especially if one of the participants has horns and you're already culturally trained to hate them. No yeah, I'm already headcanoning an actual human-elf kiss that got misunderstood by an observer long ago.

it's Lujanne isn't it, we all know, because what is a love spell but a sweet soft illusion, I mean how else does she get supplies for her Caldera, I ask you, and also Corvus was totally sent to investigate once and he told Soren at camp what he saw

And then back to magefam angst: Soren pretending that his sister's nose-tapping is stupid, even though he actually thinks it's cool, just because their dad thinks it's stupid. Viren, istg. Let your kids like harmless things. It's so cute that Soren taps his nose back at her, though! Like they have their own sibling code. I hope we get to see the nose tap again, especially now that they've chosen different sides. It could mean so much, that they're not too far apart yet.

Rayla knows what buttery pancakes smell like. I love this. Do Moonshadow elves have butter and pancakes, does Rayla eat a stack of eight giant pancakes in the morning? Orrrr it is just illusion food? I don't care, let Rayla have pancakes! Everyone loves pancakes. Pancakes will save the world. this message brought to you by the fact that I can't eat pancakes rn, send help

I love that Rayla is both sus of the pancakes and hungry, and that combines into a very motivated "I will get to the bottom of this" attitude. She kind of goes into Poirot Mode when she inserts herself into Soren and Ellis's conversation about Ava, explaining about the wolf's illusion leg and segueing into her claim that the pancakes taste sus. Claudia confirms she used dark magic, and Rayla is furious. It's different than the show's version in that it puts Rayla in detective mode, as the only Moonshadow elf in the scene, and boy does she take that role seriously. Also, she doesn't actually swallow the dark magic pancake bite. It ends up on the ground just like Lujanne's grubs from that earlier meal. These poor kids are so nutrient-starved. You guys gotta eat!!

Rayla's determination and prejudices and the fact that she super knows Harrow is dead all dovetail to make her try repeatedly to persuade Callum that Soren and Claudia are Not To Be Trusted. It's nice that the book keeps taking the time to point out that Rayla is Well Intentioned But Flawed, just like Callum and pretty much every other character in the show. No one is Right All The Time, no one Knows More Than Everyone Else.

Callum loving the sound of Claudia's unique voice is so wholesome. When you like someone, it only makes sense that you like all the things about them that they can't change - like the sound of Claudia's voice. Her choices with dark magic, not so much!

Claudia seems to have the same concerns Soren does about Callum's relationship with Rayla, but she comes out and asks him. The inherent possession implied in "your elf" is interesting, though. Elves are not people to Claudia. They're enemies who can be disassembled for the magic inside them. So maybe more like robots than living beings, if she knew what a robot was. Maybe she heard Soren's "Moonshadow Madness" story and realized he totally missed the kissing implications - but she didn't, and now she's genuinely worried that Rayla could kiss Callum under a full moon and enchant him to do her will. Good thing it's only a half moon, then!

Okay, Callum nervously making a puppet hand and then not knowing what to do with his hands and freaking out about itching and moving and pointy elbows is such a ND mood. The sudden stress of knowing that someone else is noticing your existence and maybe you're Not Existing Right, amirite? Ugh, poor Callum.

The Moon Temple! Omg it's so pretty in the description! Made to be beautiful and useful, full of knowledge but also allowing light and life inside (butterflies and vines). Lujanne, when can I move in, please? Also, it's all the more angsty because Lujanne is the only one who gets to see this beautiful place, but it has lots of chairs and shelves and tables, and it was meant to be used by lots of people. :(((

Claudia knows some of the runes on the walls. She isn't in a hurry to copy the rest of them down or anything, either. Her spellwriting is very precise, and she's a skilled mage. Her father would have made sure she was aware of the dangers of drawing sloppy runes, as much as he made her aware of the dangers of doing dark magic wrong. And the whole point of dark magic is that it's easier to learn than primal magic. Claudia supports her dad and their shared knowledge and life path. She's not gonna go nuts over an elf library she can't translate.

Side note: Between Claudia knowing some Moon runes and Viren building a secret passageway and a dungeon and lighting it with the same blue crystals that Lujanne and Ethari use for light--and Claudia exclaiming that she loves ruins--I wonder once more if there are really Moonshadow ruins somewhere in Katolis, which Viren has found and looted. Father-daughter relic hunting trip, maybe while Soren is away at camp? Omgsh that would be so wild!

Callum out here having a Viren moment with his "I feel powerless unless I've got magic that lets me help" vibes. God. I love their complicated mirroring. One of the hard differences between them is that Callum is very sure dark magic is bad because you have to kill stuff and take its power to cast spells, and he doesn't want to be a person who kills and takes like that. The line he walks to be nice to Claudia on their tour of the Cursed Caldera because he likes her, while telling her that he doesn't want to do her magic, like, ever, is so fine that it might as well be a shifting shadow on the ground. It's a very fitting conversation to be having during the half moon, with its tricks and little white lies.

Callum being out of the castle and his comfort zone, having to deal with the fact that the Claudia he loves is not quite the Claudia who's chasing him down across the kingdom, but of the two of them, he's the only one with a problem with this.

They say that if you really want to get to know someone, you should spend time with them outside their comfort zone - in heavy traffic, with a small baby, taking care of a new pet, trying a new skill, following unfamiliar directions, etc. While the castle is familiar territory for them both, Callum's never really found his comfort zone yet, while Claudia is pretty comfortable with her growing skill set. The creepy part starts to kick in when Callum begins to realize that Claudia's comfort zone encompasses a whole bunch of stuff that seems like it should make her uncomfortable... but it doesn't. But that'll be for a future chapter!

[babygirlgalitzine]

i have everything i wanted (ao3)

for anon, who asked for this x

The days start to go on for longer, the earth holding off on the dark nights for just a few hours each day, and it starts to get closer and closer to Ben’s birthday. Every year, Lexi is always taken to the shops on a weekend, where she picks out something to be Ben’s present with the help of an adult - but this year, she wants to do things differently. This year, she wants to make Ben’s present, and she’s already asked Callum for his help. 

It’s only a few short days until Ben’s birthday, and the rain has been battering down all day. It’s the kind of rain that lashes against the pavement, only to bounce up harshly and fall to pieces, puddles all over. It’s that bad that, when Callum first walked into the house in the late afternoon, his coat was dripping onto the floor, leaving puddles in the hallway. 

Now though, he’s resting on the sofa, all warm and dry and his hair is flat against his forehead, all lazy and relaxing. His arm is around Ben’s shoulders, holding his boyfriend close to him. The television plays a film, and Ben’s laughing along softly, letting his fingers play with Callum’s absentmindedly. The door squeaks open to the side of them, and Lexi creeps in, wearing her pyjamas and her hair is still wet from her bath. She sits beside Callum, and for a second he thinks he’s about to have two members of the same family cuddling him, but then she puts her tiny hand to his ear, and stretches up so she can whisper into his ear. 

Callum grins at her words and when she pulls away he nods, and brushes the hair out from her eyes, hooking it behind her ears. “I’ve got everything sweetheart.” He explains. “We can start tomorrow.” 

And that’s it then. From that moment on, all Ben feels is confusion and he makes it his life mission to get the secret from Callum. 

It first starts later that night, when they’re in bed. The bedside lamp provides the only light in the room, warm and cosy until it filters out and the far walls fall dark, shadows temporarily painting them. Ben’s been at it for ages, asking Callum what the secret is between hot, open mouthed kisses and loose fingers on skin. Callum’s having none of it though, a secret is a secret as far as he’s concerned, and he’s not about to tell anyone the truth. Ben pulls back from a kiss, staring at Callum with an incredulous look on his face. Callum pulls an imaginary zip over his mouth, and then grins brightly. He lets his hands fall to Ben’s waist, fingers warm and inviting and it’s enough to make Ben forget. Ben leans down for another kiss, conceding that Callum won’t tell him. “I can’t believe you and my daughter have a secret and I’m not even allowed to know about it.” He sighs softly. 

Callum chuckles slightly and runs his thumb over Ben’s cheek. “You should be grateful we get on.” Callum admits. “I never liked any of my dad’s girlfriends.”

A laugh falls from Ben’s lips because, yeah, that is true. He loves that though. He loves that Lexi and Callum have a relationship, and they get on amazingly, as if she’s known Callum her entire life. He’s truly grateful for that, he is. But there’s still a pang of jealousy in his heart, because what if Lexi decides she likes Callum better than she likes Ben? 

 The sun rises the next day, and with it, Ben heads off to work. Lexi’s off school, something about a teacher training day, but with nobody else able to take time off of work to watch her, Callum stays with her. 

It’s still the morning when she asks to start Ben’s present, though time edges closer and closer to lunch. They’re sitting at the table, Lexi sitting cross legged on the chair, pushing herself higher up, though she’s still tiny in comparison to Callum. Strewn all over the table is photos and glue and pens, cut off pieces of paper in all different shapes and sizes. It’s like a bomb has gone off in a craft shop. 

Callum’s in charge of cutting out the photos, making sure they all fit onto the page. He then passes them over to Lexi, who glues them down and turns the page to do it all over again. Occasionally, she’ll ask Callum when the photo was taken, and then Callum looks over to find her writing those little notes down with a glittery gel pen, taking her time to make sure everything looks as neat as possible. 

Lexi puts the lid to the pen back on, and sets it down on the table, watching as it rolls away slightly. “Callum.” she asks, looking up at him with sincere eyes. “When did you know you loved my daddy?” 

She’s always been inquisitive, asking Callum questions to get to know him better - but that’s a question he never thought he would hear. 

Callum opens his mouth to speak, trying to think of what he can actually say to the young girl. A million things are running through his mind, when he first started to feel anything for Ben, when he first told Ben his true feelings, when Ben finally told Callum too. His mind is awash of memories, so much so that he doesn’t hear the door opening. He finally collects himself enough to speak. “Before we were boyfriends.” He says, because that’s the only time he can think to say without sounding stupid.

Lexi gasps though, “When you first met?” She asks giddily, her smile beaming and lighting up her entire face.

Callum chuckles, but nods anyway. “Let’s go with that.” 

A short little squeal comes from Lexi and she picks up her gel pen’s again to draw a border around a newly stuck down photo of Ben and Lexi, one where they’re both wrapped up warm and Lexi is sitting on her dad’s shoulders. “Callum.” She repeats again, in a drawn out voice and Callum just knows she’s about to ask another question.

“Yes darling?” Callum asks, cutting out the next photo - one of him and Ben on the night that Ben first introduced Callum and Lexi properly.

“Will you be my daddy one day too?” She innocently asks. 

There’s a hitch in Callum’s breath as Lexi’s words hit him. A blush grows exponentially on his face, suddenly turning a shade of crimson. “Maybe.” He says. “If that’s what you and your dad wants.” He answers honestly, because secretly, he would love to, but it’s not just up to him. 

They both get back to creating Ben’s scrapbook present, but neither of them notice that Ben has come home unexpectedly and overheard everything. 

Night falls upon them, and Ben’s been home for a few hours now. They’ve all eaten and Lexi’s washed all the glitter gel pen stains off of her hands and arms. It’s a normal night, or, it would be, if Ben wasn’t in a mood.

He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away from Callum. He’s barely spoken but a few words, and even those have been short and snappy. Callum sighs softly and gets onto the bed too, balancing on his knees as he sits behind Ben, wrapping him up in half a hug, pushing his hand down on Ben’s chest, letting his fingers hook under his shirt and brush against his sensitive nipple. He leaves a soft kiss to Ben’s neck, and again and again, until Ben rolls his shoulder back and pushes Callum off of him without any real malice. 

Callum moves back to his own half of the bed and watches as Ben gets under the covers. “What’s wrong?” He asks.

Ben just shrugs by way of response.

Callum rolls his eyes. “Ben, we said we’d always talk about our feelings. What’s wrong?” He repeats.

Ben tilts his head to the side, and with a sigh he concedes, knowing that Callum’s right and they should talk about this, rather than Ben keeping it to himself. “I’m jealous, alright?” He explains. “I’m jealous that you and Lexi have this secret that I can’t know about.”

A smile makes its way onto Callum’s face, unable to keep it hidden now. “You do realise how ridiculous that sounds, don’t you?” He says, and upon looking at Ben’s forlorn face, he instantly knows that’s the wrong thing to say. He sighs. “Lex loves you. She adores you Ben, you are her entire world. She takes after you so much, you know? I realised that today. You’re both as cheeky as anything but so lovable and caring to. I’m not replacing you Ben, and you know that I never could. She just wants me to help her with something. 

Ben looks up at Callum, feeling slightly better after hearing his words. “But why couldn’t she ask me for help?” He quizzes.

Callum grins softly, and leans down to press an even softer kiss to Ben’s lips. “Because it’s for you.” He admits. “It’s your birthday present.” 

“Oh.” Ben lets out, and suddenly everything just falls perfectly into place. 

“Yeah, oh.” Callum chuckles. “Honestly, the pair of you will be the death of me.” 

A grin appears on Ben’s face, finally, and he puts his hand on Callum’s cheeks, letting his thumb run over his skin and his fingers thread through Callum’s hair. He tugs ever so slightly, pulling Callum down into another kiss. 

---

A few days pass, and suddenly it’s Ben’s birthday. He’s been opening cards and presents for the past ten minutes, and now it’s Lexi’s turn to give him her present. She sits on his lap and hands the present over to him. He looks up at Callum, who sneakily nods, and Ben knows that this is the secret they’ve been keeping. Ben rips off the wrapping paper and reveals a leather bound book, and embossed in silver lettering, the word memories on the front. He opens the book up, and sees photo after photo of himself and others. Photos of him, Jay and Lola as troublesome teenagers; pictures of him and Lexi cuddling onto each other and it’s almost upsetting to see how much she’s grown up in such a short space of time. There’s photos of Ben and Callum too, ones taken on phones throughout their relationship. Alongside all the photos are words, written in Lexi’s handwriting, all sparkling and glittery. They say when the photos were taken, or where, or what was happening. Drawings done by Lexi also accompany the photos too. 

“Do you like it Daddy?” Lexi asks, looking at Ben’s face as he flicks through the page. “Daddy Callum helped too!” 

Ben looks at Lexi and then Callum catches his eye and he notices that tears are starting to well in Callum’s eyes as well as Ben’s. He kisses the crown of Lexi’s head. “I love it princess, it’s my favourite.”

[even-after-a-millennia]

my home from long ago

I finally wrote a fic with Lykon in it!  Well, sort of.  (Trigger warning for nonconsensual drug use)

Summary: When The Old Guard tries to apprehend a group who stole hallucinogens, Andy and Quynh are exposed and see part of their family who has been long lost to them.

The fic is below or over on my ao3 here.

“I want it put down for the record what a bad idea I think it is that you guys take this job,” Copley Two said the moment that the video call started.  His real name was Callum, but as he had taken over for Copley after his retirement, he bore the nickname with grace.

“Noted,” Andy said drily.  “What are the details?”

Callum sighed, but began reading his notes.  “According to a friend of mine over at MI6, there is a scientist that is working on an interactive, virtual reality experience that allows the user to interact with people they have lost, in order to be able to start the healing process and move on.  It pairs VR with a cocktail of aerosol hallucinogens to allow the user to be truly immersed.”  He looked up at the screen for a moment.  “Anyone else wondering how the hell they even got cleared to do this?”

“We can focus on that later.  C’mon, CT, where do we come in?” Nile asked.

“Right.  Well, last Thursday, the lab was broken into and most of the hallucinogens were stolen.  The scientist is worried that the people who stole it are planning to use it as a torture device, manipulating the hallucinogenic effects to induce mental torture.  We need you to retrieve the hallucinogens and destroy any replications that have been created.  If you can capture rather than kill those responsible, it would be appreciated.”

He paused and set down his notebook.  “Given your backgrounds, I feel the need to caution you before you agree to take this job.  Should you get into a situation where the hallucinogens are released and you are caught up in the simulation, you all have more than enough trauma between you to devastate your minds.  Please think carefully before making your decision.”

Andy reached out and took Quynh’s hand.  They exchanged a look, then nodded.

“We can do it.”

Nicky and Joe nodded.

They turned to Booker and Nile, the only two that hadn’t spoken up.

“I would be lying if I didn’t say I really don’t want to be exposed to that gas,” Nile said.  She was still reeling from the death of her mother, only three years prior.

“Myself as well,” Booker said.  “I feel it could trigger old wounds.”

“However,” Nile said, straightening her shoulders, “there are other people out there who have also been who hell, who need to be saved from being exposed to that.  So.  I’m in.”

Booker sighed, then nodded.

Andy turned to Copley Two.  “Where do we need to go?”

____________________________________

Once Callum found where the thieves were hiding, it was easy to come up with a plan.  Nicky would be at the ready with his rifle, Joe as his spotter.  Nile, Booker, Andy, and Quynh would infiltrate the building and destroy any samples they came across.  If possible, they would go with nonlethal options for capture, unless that was no longer an option.

“Any signs of life from your end, Nicky?” Nile asked as they made their way through the warehouse.  Her voice was muffled behind the gas mask Callum had forced them all to wear.  He wasn’t sure if it would do anything against the hallucinogen, given that they knew very little about it, but it “helped calm his heart, which you all put through too much already,” according to him.

“There’s activity on the west side of the building, third floor,” came the response through their comms.

“Alright, Quynh with me to the third floor.  Booker, Nile, scan the bottom floors for any sign of the hallucinogen or a lab.  Nicky, Joe, watch our backs,” Andy ordered.

They split up.

Andy kept scanning their surroundings as they ascended, but there was no sign that people were in the building.  They kept going, Quynh a step behind her, her favorite handgun at the ready.  She was proficient with a gun as she was with a bow and arrow.  Andy gave her a small smile during her next scan, one that Quynh quickly returned.

They walked down the walkway towards the room Nicky had seen movement.  They each took a side of the closed door.  Quynh nodded, and Andy took a step back, then kicked the door in.  They rushed inside.

Only to see four people clearly out of their minds on the hallucinogens.  It was thick in the air and blurred Andy’s vision through her protective goggles.  Again, Copley Two’s idea.

“Arianna!  You’re here!” one of the people said, looking at Andy.

She raised an eyebrow.  Given she hadn’t ever been called Arianna, even throughout the course of her very long life, it was safe to assume that whoever the man was seeing wasn’t actually Andy.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, coming closer.

Andy went on alert, especially as another person turned to them.

“Adam, oh my god, it’s you!” the woman sobbed.  She ran up to Quynh and threw her arms around her.

She looked at Andy, who shrugged.

“We’ve got four people, all high as fuck.  Shouldn’t be too difficult to-”

“I’ve missed you so much,” the man said, and he leaned forward to rest his forehead against Andy’s.  He pulled back, and for a moment, Andy saw his eyes clear.  Then they narrowed and, before Andy could stop him, reached up and pulled on the gas mask.  It didn’t move much, but the break in the seal let the gas in.

It sat heavily on Andy’s tongue.

“Motherfu-” Andy managed before she felt the tug on her subconscious.  She elbowed the guy in the nose, knocking him unconscious.  She turned, ready to push Quynh out of the door.  It might be too late for Andy to not feel the effects, but Quynh hadn’t been exposed yet, she hadn’t-

Shit.

The woman in front of Quynh had gone in to kiss her, pulling her head in with grasping hands.  Her head hit against the mask as she pulled Quynh in and the combination of gestures broke the seal on Quynh’s mask too.

Andy knocked the woman back and grabbed Quynh’s arm, trying to ignore the things she was starting to see out of the corner of her eyes.

“C’mon we’ve gotta go, Quynh, come on!”

But Quynh wasn’t looking at Andy.  She was staring at something in front of her, someone who made her look full of joy and loss all at once.

Andy knew, before she even turned to look, who would be standing there.  But she couldn’t resist.

“Lykon…” Quynh said, rushing forward and jumping into the arms of her old friend.

“Hello, my beautiful sister,” Lykon said, hugging her back.  Quynh was sobbing into his shoulder as he looked up and gave Andromache the brilliant smile that she hadn’t seen in over a thousand years.

“Andromache.  I’ve missed you.”

“Andy, Quynh, come in!  Can you hear me?”

“Lykon,” Andy said, her voice choked.  “I am so sorry.  I didn’t have your back.”

“Andromache.”  The look he gave her was gentle but chiding.  “How could you have known?  You, the oldest of us, had no idea our immortality was finite.”

“But why you?!” she burst out.  It was the question that had haunted her since she had tried to hold Lykon’s stomach together as he bled out.  “You said, I am the oldest, I should have been the one to die, not you, Lykon.  Never you!”

Lykon whispered something into Quynh’s ear and she nodded, easing her hold on him.  She wiped her tears and held an arm open to her wife as Lykon did the same.

“Come, Andromache.  It has been far too long since I’ve held you,” Lykon said.

“I can’t,” Andy cried.  

“Why?”

Andy let out a shuddering breath.  “Because I don’t deserve it.”

“Andy! Quynh!  Nile, you have to get up there, I think-”

“Deserve what, Andromache?”

Andy couldn’t look at him as she said.  “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Lykon.  I don’t forgive myself.”

Quynh turned to Lykon.  “Much has happened since we lost you.  But we never forgot you.”

“I know.  Of course I know.”

Quynh swallowed.  “I would be lying if the loss of you didn’t feel like an unhealing wound.”

“I understand.  But I don’t want you to mistake grief with guilt.  They do not have to both exist.  Not in this,” Lykon said.  “It was my time.  The only grief I felt in that was to be parted from you.”

“I lost it,” Andy said suddenly, not looking at Lykon.  “My immortality.  And suddenly, all I wanted was to live.  I had my family, and we just added Nile, and then we got Quynh back.  But I also felt relief.  That finally, the universe was correcting the wrong.  Letting me be with you.  And then it came back.  And now I am more lost from you than ever.”

Lykon kissed Quynh’s forehead then let her go.  He walked up to Andy.  “Do I look lost to you?”

Andy finally let herself fully look at him.  He glowed with vitality and love and joy, all the things he exemplified in life, pouring out of him.  

“You look perfect.”

Lykon held out his arms.  “Please, Andromache?”

She let out a sob, then made her feet move forward.

Andromache the Scythian had had many homes throughout the years.  So many places, all blurred together.  It was only after she met Quynh that she let her home be found in people.  In Quynh.  In Lykon.  She hadn’t known how dangerous that was, until Lykon’s death.

Stepping into Lykon’s arms, Andy felt like she had come back to a long lost home for the first time in a millennium.

But there was something missing.

“Quynh,” she called.  “We need you.”

Her wife squeezed into the space between Andy’s right arm and Lykon’s left and they all pressed together, holding each other so tightly that it hurt.

And something that had been piercing Andy’s heart for so long that she hardly noticed it anymore unsheathed itself.

She felt relief.

Crash! Crash! Crash!

Andy took a breath and her head cleared a bit.  Another and she realized she was only holding Quynh in her arms.  Another and she pulled her wife closer as she started to sob.

“Andy?  Quynh?  Do you copy?” Nile’s voice rang through the comms.

“Copy,” Andy said, her voice hoarse.  “Quynh’s a bit overwhelmed.  Nicky shot out the windows?”

“He did.  You alright, boss?” Joe asked.

“Give it a few minutes to clear, then come in with the restraints.  I think they wanted to use the hallucinogen for its intended purpose, not maliciously, but we still need to bring them in.  They hotboxed the room and are still pretty out of it.  I think we were only influenced a little,” Andy said, not answering the question.

“Will do.”

Andy turned back to her wife.

“We’re going to be alright, trái tim của em,” Andy whispered, running a hand gently up and down her back.  

Quynh nodded into her shoulder, then finally raised her head and wiped her eyes.  “It was just so nice to see him again,” she said tearfully.

Andy looked around the room and the people who were still in the midst of their hallucinations.  She saw all the different emotions possible, from devastation to happiness.  Then she buried her face into Quynh’s hair.

“I miss him, Quynh,” she admitted quietly.

“Of course you do, Andromache.  But missing him doesn’t have to be contingent on staying guilty.  He wouldn’t want that,” Quynh said.

“Yeah,” Andy said, remembering that relief she felt.  “I’m starting to get that.”

She leaned back, kissing Quynh on the forehead just like Lykon had done.  “Are you alright?”

She shrugged.  “I will be.  It was a beautiful dream, and now I must wake.”

For now, that would have to be enough.  Later, Andy would take care of Quynh, help her through the emotional upheaval of seeing their long dead brother in arms.  Later, Andy would tell Nile and the others stories of Lykon, his kindness, his light, his talent for storytelling.  Later, she might even forgive herself.

But for now, Andy held Quynh until the air had cleared and their family came for them.

Translations: trái tim của em - my heart

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG183!

- I’m not sure I can manage to put it into words quite right but: sounds-wise, this episode’s domain didn’t feel mind-blowingly new, it wasn’t something that felt “Oh! I’ve never heard something like this before!”? But the echoes, grinding and scratching were timed so well, giving so much strength and gravitas to the conversations, that it perfectly scratched an itch. I could hear that there was something close to Jon and Martin, that it was big, and mostly deserted, that it stood eerily in the overall wasteland, that they were two people alone against a whole world, a whole machine with gears and a mechanism ready to crush anyone?

- I LIVE for artist!Martin giving his commentary and overall throwing shade at the Fears’ taking of artistic licence liberties:

(MAG183) MARTIN: Oh, bugger off! ARCHIVIST: Everything all right? MARTIN: Oh, no, what e–, what e–, what even is that? It, it’s like Escher ate a bad cathedral and threw up everywhere.

He had shown interest in the Stranger’s carousel upon learning that the statements had been a poem, but shots fired for that tower, uh.

- Jon and Martin were so cute starting the episode! Their quick banter was adorable!

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: It’s a building. A tower. … In a sense. MARTIN: Oh yeah? A–and what sense might that be? ARCHIVIST: [FAINTLY OMINOUS] … The Tarot sense. MARTIN: [SPLUTTERS WITH LAUGHTER] Really? ARCHIVIST: Wha–? No? Sorry, it… felt like a good line…! MARTIN: No, no, it was, I just… I dunno, I… [FOND EXHALE] You did the look, and…! It’s fine, sorry.

Martin being IN LOVE and appreciating Jon’s cuteness! The return of Jon showing that he’s an occult/horror nerd! We had seen in season 2 that he was generally very knowledgeable about anything related to the supernatural, and in season 4 that he was into Neil Lagorio’s movies, I’m happy to get another trace of it!

(MAG076) MELANIE: So I came here to dig a bit deeper. ARCHIVIST: Really? Our… our library is extensive, but it’s hardly focused on the Second World War. MELANIE: No, but the most detailed description of the crash that I could find came from the report of a man called William W. Hay. And later in life William Hay… ARCHIVIST: Became a noted occultist, whose memoirs and researches were only ever published in a heavily edited form. And we have unexpurgated copies. MELANIE: Exactly.

(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] Statement ends. Hm. Neil Lagorio… You ever see any of his work? DAISY: No. Not really into films. ARCHIVIST: Oh, they were… Well, let’s just say that it’s not a complete shock there was something unnatural to them. Didn’t know we had copies in the Institute, though; let alone original cuts. [CHUCKLE] Records indicate they [PAPER RUSTLING] ended up in… Artefact Storage. DAISY: Probably best that they stay there. ARCHIVIST: … Yeah. Yes, of course.

But SOB x2 since:

* Tower-in-the-tarot-sense meaning ominous stuff… and change. (While Jon knew they would soon come face to face with the choice to take the route through Martin’s domain.)

* Crying over the fact that we’ve seen and learned quite a few outside-of-the-job aspects of Jon this season, comparatively to the previous ones? He’s cute! He’s making jokes! He mentioned his student days a bit in MAG165, and visiting Upton House as a kid in MAG180! And this is happening when the world has been forked over and Jon&Martin certainly won’t survive together past MAG200, which means they have at most seventeen episodes together remaining. Martin, and we alongside him, are seeing so many different, more casual aspects of Jon, and it’s at the end of things…

- I really like how information bounced around in this episode? It felt even more dynamic than usual, quickly shifting depending on some reaction, or going from an association to another:

(MAG183) MARTIN: What, what’s the deal, though? Parts of it almost look like– ARCHIVIST: The Institute. MARTIN: Yeah…! ARCHIVIST: Yes. [INHALE] It makes sense, after all it was… built on the ruins of what Robert Smirke constructed…! MARTIN: Smirke? … What, no! But, but, surely he’s– ARCHIVIST: Dead, yeah, I mean, yes. [CHUCKLING] Very much so! This place is… an homage, shall we say. A monument. To him, and those like him, who tried to… categorise the world with themselves at the centre. In so doing, constructed the architecture of its suffering…!

Ohohoh about Martin feeling like the tower looked a bit like the Institute, and Jon drawing similarities through Smirke – the Institute being built on the ruins of a Smirke building, and the current domain being dedicated to people like him. The Institute is coming closer and weighing on their minds, isn’t it? I really like that Martin immediately worried about Smirke potentially being alive-ish, since:

(MAG138) MARTIN: “The Eye has marked me for something, of this I have no doubt. My… humble hope is that it may be a swift death, an accidental effect of your own researches, which I once again implore you to abandon. It is likely too late for me, but I will not…” [PAPER RUSTLE] Uh… [INHALE] The, hum… The letter ends there. Uh… Ap–apparently Robert Smirke was found collapsed in his study that evening, dead of, uh… [FLIPPING THROUGH PAPERS] Apoplexy. Mm. I–I don’t know how the letter reached the Archives, I mean… Well, I can guess, but…

… he had read Smirke’s last words before he died. (But Martin has seen enough by now to know that there is always a risk for people to not have actually died; on that front, we’re safe, Jon confirmed! Loving Jon’s chuckle: ah yeah, no, Smirke, “very much so” dead from Jonah.)

(Also loved the “[those] who tried to categorise the world with themselves at the centre” shade: yep! That’s West-Eurocentrism and Smirke’s little gang for you!)

- About the way the world works now since the Change, I’m curious about Jon’s wording as “the architecture of [the world’s] suffering”, since it’s echoing the title of Smirke’s statement, “The Architecture of Fear”: my understanding is that right now, the world is mostly running on a loop of people’s fears => feeding and shaping the landscape => which hurts people by turning those realised fears against them => squeezing the fear out of them => feeding the landscape, etc.

What is quite curious is the status of Smirke’s taxonomy in the current world. Jon went off on a rant about how Smirke and people who attempted to classify had been wrong all along because it was meant to fail… while he himself has persistently been using the very same classifications during this very season:

(MAG166) ARCHIVIST: Look, we can talk about it later, we’re– coming to a… “domain of The Buried”, and [STATIC RISES] I would really rather… […] God, I hate The Buried. [DEEP BREATHS] … End recording.

(MAG172) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] “Knowing”, “seeing”… i–it’s not the same thing as… understanding. Every time I try to know what The Web’s plan is, if it can even be called a plan, I see… a hundred thousand events and causes and links, an impossibly intricate pattern of consequences and subtle nudges, but I–I can’t…! … I can’t hold them all in my head at the same time. There’s no way to see the “whole”, the, the point of it all. I can see all the details, but it doesn’t… provide… context or… intention. I suppose The Web doesn’t work in knowledge, not in the same way.

(MAG173) MARTIN: That’s the avatar for this place? ARCHIVIST: Callum Brodie, thirteen years old. He guides the children through their fears of The Dark.

(MAG174) ARCHIVIST: I’m not entirely sure what you were expecting, it’s The Vast. The clue is in the name! MARTIN: Yes, all right…!

(MAG176) MARTIN: … Besides, I thought The Hunt was meant to make you go faster. ARCHIVIST: Depends on the type of pursuit. [INHALE] Besides, the chase isn’t… really the point of this particular place.

(MAG177) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] Bad therapists. Let’s just say it’s the fear of bad therapists, filtered through The Spiral. BASIRA: That’s… a lot more nuance than I’ve gotten used to since everything went wrong. ARCHIVIST: Yes, well. The Spiral is nothing if not insidious. […] You just heard what The Spiral does to people, you can’t… trust her.

“constructed the architecture of [the world’s] suffering” kind of implies that they did manage something, even if it doomed the world? Is it specifically about Jonah using the division into 14 in his incantation? We’ve seen that that one had limitations, since The Extinction also got there anyway… But at the same time, true that at this point, we would still force-apply Smirke’s labels to anything anyway.

- Loved Jon sounding awfully pedantic and (fake-)poetic at the same time:

(MAG183) MARTIN: [SIGH] Bit of a mouthful. ARCHIVIST: Would you prefer I described it as a… “cascading recursion of shifting arrogance and hubristic dead-ends”? [STATIC RISES] [THE DOOR CREAKS OPEN] [CONSTANT HIGH-PITCHED FREQUENCY] HELEN: I would. [FOOTSTEPS] [THE DOOR SHUTS] [STATIC FADES] MARTIN: [SIGH] Hello, Helen.

AND HELEN HAVING THE BEST ENTRANCES. It also cleared up something for me (unless I had already realised it and forgot about it since then): the high-pitched sound we hear when she’s around is the mark of Helen and Michael, not of the corridors – if the door is open or characters are inside of the hallways, we’ll hear some of the usual crackling static, but we heard it rise when Helen arrived and fade when the door shut behind her (and same thing with her departure, it was briefly heard when she opened the door).

- Shots fired, MARTIN PLEASE:

(MAG183) MARTIN: [SIGH] Hello, Helen. Might have guessed you’d be into weird architecture. Very much your area of expertise, no? HELEN: Hmm, depends! Would you describe “petulant poet” as your area of expertise? I am weird architecture.

And Helen went equally incisive on that one, but also UUUUUH WAS IT A SPECIFIC REFERENCE TO PETER’S COMMENT ABOUT MARTIN…

(MAG158) MARTIN: I’m… saying no. I refuse! Game over. [KNIFE CLATTERING ON THE GROUND] PETER: Martin, this is not the time for petulance; there are bigger things at stake, here.

This was the only time someone referred to Martin as (acting) petulant… I mean, Helen not missing one second of MAG158 wouldn’t be surprising (she did tell Jon at the end of MAG157 that she would be enjoying the show), but ;; Little chilling when remembering Elias-Peter-Martin in the Panopticon and Martin refusing to kill Jonah there…

- I was right to suspect that Helen might have been unable to know where Jon&Martin were over their stay at Upton House, and that she wouldn’t be pleased about it!

(MAG183) HELEN: Anyway, where have you been? I’ve been looking for you, but you both just vanished. ARCHIVIST: Aaah… Right, I see…! HELEN: I was so looking forward to catching up after that whole Basira and Daisy thing, but then, pfft! You both disappear. I’d be very keen to know how you managed that little trick. MARTIN: Why, it caught us by surprise too, I mean, we, we actually ended– ARCHIVIST: [FIRMLY] We found somewhere to rest. That’s all. MARTIN: … Oh, yeah. Ah, yes, hm. HELEN: Fine. Be like that. I can appreciate the particular pleasure of a kept secret. ARCHIVIST: I’m sure you can.

* Salesa’s zone seems to be protected as long as you don’t physically find it? I wonder how Annabelle managed to find it, still, since Jon only become aware of that blind spot when they arrived nearby; how did she become aware of it in the first place? Did it feel like a hole in the world’s web?

* Awww for Jon keeping the secret and conveying to Martin that they should keep quiet about it ;w;

* AHAHAHHAHA for Jon’s “aaah”, which was absolutely a mischievous grandpa sound. Jon ready to cause trouble, with a smug smile on his face.

- … I love how Helen could observe that the dynamic of the exchange was slipping out of her control (Jon&Martin knew something that she didn’t, didn’t feel threatened by her, and Jon was amused to keep it out of her reach) and immediately tried to go for the throat again:

(MAG183) HELEN: Anyway. Such a shame about Basira and Daisy. I was really rooting for them to make up. MARTIN: [SPLUTTERS] Since when? What happened to– I mean, how did you put it… a, “a quick shot to the back of her head, and then back in time for tea”, or whatever?

Martin: Forgive and forget? NO, RESENT AND REMEMBER AHAHAHAHAH.

Direct reference to the fact that Helen indeed ~offered her door to Basira~ to quickly get to Daisy and execute her:

(MAG177) HELEN: I can offer a shortcut. Take you right to that murder machine you call a partner. MARTIN: Basira… Jon can’t go through Helen’s doors, we, we couldn’t come with you. HELEN: Basira is a strong, independent woman. She doesn’t need you two holding her hand. Anyway, it’ll be dead quick. Two minutes, door-to-door, quick shot to the back of Daisy’s head, and we’ll be home before you know it!

Laughing that Martin added the tea mention (Martin, you single-track minded tea-aficionado), but I’m glad that he remembered it full well to throw it in her face; it wasn’t even a personal attack towards Martin, it was something Helen tried to do to Basira, I’m glad that Martin is still absolutely offended about it ;w;

- I felt like Jon and Helen had two definitions of “what we want”: Helen potentially talking about quick, short-term wants (even if they turn out to be self-destructive), while Jon was more about well-thought decisions and choices?

(MAG183) HELEN: [EXASPERATED SIGH] Oh, give over. I was obviously just prodding her, trying to make a point. She didn’t want to kill her. ARCHIVIST: What we want doesn’t matter much these days. HELEN: Oh, [RASPBERRY NOISE], nonsense. What we want is the only thing that matters these days. And Basira wanted to join Daisy. ARCHIVIST: She made her choice. HELEN: With your assistance. ARCHIVIST: It was still her choice. HELEN: [SIGH] What a waste. ARCHIVIST: No. [INHALE] It wasn’t.

There have been a lot of discussions about “choices” and “wants” throughout the series (with big moments in MAG092, MAG117 and MAG147), so it felt a bit nice that Jon seems to have reached a point where he could draw a line between both? Jon, Martin and Basira didn’t want this world, don’t want the way it operates and what it inflicts on them; it doesn’t mean they can’t weigh options and make specific decisions – Basira, to honour her promise to Daisy and kill the monster she had become; Jon, to not smite for revenge (and Martin, to face his own domain).

I LOVE HOW JON WAS FIRM ABOUT BASIRA’S CHOICE MATTERING ;w; It once again reminds me of Martin’s line to Simon: “I think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever.” (MAG151); the little things, the individual existences and choices, their own stories, still having value in the expanse of the universe…

- Martin! It’s a delight to see him so firm, having faith in Basira although he’s been so worried for her:

(MAG179) ARCHIVIST: Martin, this is what she needs. MARTIN: No, no! I–it’s…! BASIRA: It’ll… MARTIN: It’s completely– […] … We’re not doing this. BASIRA: [SOFTLY] Martin. Please. [SILENCE] MARTIN: … [SIGH] You’d better look after yourself. BASIRA: I will.

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: How are you doing? About… MARTIN: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I’m… I don’t know. I’m–I’m not sure how to feel; just… pressing on, you know? ARCHIVIST: I do. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Do you think she’ll be okay without us? ARCHIVIST: Oh, she’s made it this far. MARTIN: … Yeah. I just worry.

(MAG183) MARTIN: Basira is… She’s going to be okay.

And then pointing out that he was involved in the discussion too and that he wanted to know what the other two knew already and not be kept out of the loop:

(MAG183) HELEN: Oh. Is she? Do you want me to tell you what she’s been up to while you were “resting”? Where she is right now? ARCHIVIST: You don’t need to. I already know. MARTIN: I don’t. [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: She’s currently moving through, uh… “The Void.” [STATIC FADES] Hungry shadows drifting in the dark. She’s been there a long time now, struggling to find the path. MARTIN: But she will? ARCHIVIST: I think so. HELEN: Yeah, she does always seem to manage, doesn’t she? It’s impressive. Although a little bit… tempting at times.

I’m not absoooolutely sure about Basira’s status: is “the void” a space between domains, or is it a Dark domain that Basira is having trouble finding the exit of, since unlike Jon, she can’t just “know” the paths? I suspect the latter but I’m not 100% certain. If it’s indeed The Dark, that’s a close to home one for her, since she had a few brushes with it over the course of the show – the Section 31 expedition to save Callum Brodie, leading to Rayner’s death and Basira’s decision to quit the police, her research to find out more about the People’s Church of the Divine Host (as shown in season 3) and her overall worry about them, which allowed Elias to convince her that they would attempt another ritual in Ny-Ålesund, leading to her discovering what “Rayner” was and travelling there with Jon, finding Manuela and the Dark Sun mid-season 4…

;ww; for Jon having faith in Basira, too… And the fact that once again, Basira has it a bit rougher than Jon&Martin (Jon had already told Martin that it had been a difficult journey for her, before they reunited). Helen does have a point that Basira seems to manage to find her way out in general: she had successfully escaped The Unknowing on her own, she had survived The Flesh’s attack on the Institute, she had pursued Daisy in the apocalypse… Basira has already gone through Helen’s corridors (offscreen at the end of MAG143, to return to the Institute), I’m YIKES about Helen implying that it would be “tempting” to grab her. (… But at the same time, why hasn’t she done it already, if she is capable of doing it? It might be a bit more complicated than that?)

- … I love Martin, I love that he was RIGHT to point out that Helen had just waltzed in to try and steer chaos:

(MAG183) MARTIN: Look, Helen, what do you even want? Okay, you keep turning up like a bad penny and, honestly, it, it seems like it’s… it’s just to be a dick! HELEN: Gasp! I am trying to be friends, Martin. Forever is a long time. And I occasionally like to have some company that isn’t… screaming. MARTIN: … What do you even think friendship is? HELEN: I dunno, do I? The only personhood I have is from someone I ate.

It feels like Helen has REALLY tried hard to make up for the weeks(?) she couldn’t find Jon and Martin? She went extra-hard on them: first with Basira, then implying to Jon that he had manipulated her into killing Daisy, then pointing out that Basira was not safe at the moment and still at risk of falling prey to other Fears (including herself), then trying to mock Martin about his domain, trying to guilt-trip Jon for not having told him about it yet, and when she finally managed to get Martin shocked and upset… job done, byebye.

Is it that she’s trying to get Jon so riled up he ends her? “Helen” used to like Jon and to turn to him (MAG101: “Helen liked you so… there’s a lot to consider. But I will help you leave.” / MAG115: “Before, talking to you made Helen feel better.”), before she was absolutely Down With Doors And Murders (MAG146: “We do what we need to do when it comes to feeding, don’t we? … Don’t we, Archivist?”), is it a remnant of that? Or is it really just an attempt at confusing Jon and Martin further, feeding from them Spiral-style?

- More about Martin’s domain later, but the reveal was BRUTAL, and yet not coming out of nowhere; we knew he had one, we knew he had almost been trapped in the Lonely house in MAG170 and the question was whether or not it had been (/was still) his domain once Martin got freed from it, but there was also the question of how Martin was able to walk in the apocalypse unharmed (was it due to Jon’s proximity, Martin’s connection to The Eye as an assistant, etc.), and Basira’s own status after Daisy’s death… so, yay! Answers and clarifications, and as usual, nothing feeling like a plot-twist, just things that make sense, and that we already had most of the information about!

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: Martin… MARTIN: Are there people, Jon? ARCHIVIST: What? MARTIN: Are there people in my domain? ARCHIVIST: Not many. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Do you need to do your… your thing? Make a statement about whatever’s going on in there? … I could use a moment to think. ARCHIVIST: Sure thing. Yeah, I–I’ll… [INHALE] Yeah. [EXHALE] [BAG JOSTLING] [DEPARTING FOOTSTEPS]

Sobbing a bit about Martin’s priorities (“Are there people, Jon?”) and Martin asking for a quick me-time. It wasn’t ice-cold, Martin turned it into something useful for both of them (expecting that Jon would have to give his statement anyway), but aouch, he sounded absolutely shattered inside while blank on the surface…

- Yes, yes, yes, reminder that Smirke’s categorisation is arbitrary and just like the Doctor’s theory, sometimes just doesn’t work, because it’s trying to force-apply rules and a classification over something that resists it (and because the classification is not perfect from the start), but hey, that’s most theories and classifications out there anyway, so: Escher reference, the functioning of the Tower reminding me of the Great Twisting, and the reasonings sometimes reminding me of Gabriel’s work (MAG126), plus Helen popping by – it was Spiral stuff, right?

Well! I felt like it looks like Spiral, but the Doctor’s fears by themselves:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: “But it is not the fall that terrifies him, not the pain of the impacts, but the fact that none of them should be there. That it doesn’t make sense, and it must make sense, there must be a system, there must be, because if there isn’t– [THE BODY LANDS WETLY] He lands with a heavy smack onto rough limestone, and lies still, his body twisted and broken. He knows it will knit itself back together, slowly, painfully, as it always has before. But the thought of starting over, of composing yet another theory, fills him with a deep dread.”

… are more something I would identify as Eye (fear of a truth) and Hunt (fear of having to return to the start, to have to elaborate a new theory from scratch, again and again, of being trapped forever)?

It was really reminiscent of Smirke thinking back over his life, his hubris and the pride of being the one who would have found the answer, to the point where he would reject reality if it didn’t match his taxonomy (refusing to, well… do what you do with a theory: change, or evolve and perfect it when its flaws are pointed out):

(MAG138, Robert Smirke) “I believed then, as I still believe now, that these places I saw were the Powers themselves, expressed in their truest form, far more entirely than any ‘secret book’ can claim. And if, as I came to believe, the Dread Powers were themselves places of a sort, then surely with the right space, the right architecture, they could be contained. Channelled. Harnessed. So yes. Hubris. Not simply in that, I suppose, but in believing that those I brought into my confidence shared my lofty goals. […] Would you have me separate The Corruption between insects, dirt and disease? To, to divide the fungal bloom from the maggot? No. No, I… stand by my work. And thus, we must conclude that the only explanation is a new Power, created from what was once others, yet also distinct. And if such change is possible, how then can any “true balance” be achieved through immutable, unchanging stone…?”

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: “If they are feeling very confident, they may lean down and stretch a curious tongue beyond their chipped teeth and rotten gums, desperate to add another sense to their observances – more evidence to support their declaration of what the world must be. […] They must simply study and learn, if they are to escape the labyrinth. They will be the first to escape. The one who sits in the central chamber cannot remember his name. But he knows that people called him “doctor”. He made sure of that; to ignore it would have been the greatest disrespect, and he will not be disrespected. […] He knows, for a fact, that this is the central chamber because he is the one sat here. […] They’ll all remember him forever, the first to escape the Monument. His name will be hallowed with the greats: Doctor, uh… Doctor…”

Same old pride, Leitner knew that well too (MAG080: “But I think, in my heart, I dreamed of my work becoming known. That ‘The Library of Jurgen Leitner’ would stand as a symbol of courage and protection. Hubris.”) and Gerry didn’t have many nice things to say about it (MAG111: “Flamsteed, Smirke, Leitner. Idiots who destroyed themselves chasing a secret that wasn’t worth knowing.”). Loved how the statements came for Smirke’s life and was absolutely ruthless about it – but maayyybe a bit too ruthless, even? Jon didn’t express much sympathy for “fools like Smirke” either, and this is a rare case in season 5 where I find that the statement was a bit lacking in empathy for… people who were technically victims. I mean! Insufferable pedantic academics sure are a type, they’re really not having the worst life out there, but it makes me feel a bit weird, with season 5’s overall tone, that the episode had that vibe of “serves them well, they’re insufferable” about people who were technically still trapped in a domain and suffering from it?

… I still laughed a lot about the Doctor vs. Professor rivalry and how they solved their argument:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: “The doctor that lies on the floor has recovered, just enough to laugh. ‘You’re still working on mineral theory? How painfully outdated.’ A flash of genuine fear crosses the face of the professor at this dismissal, before he picks up his chunk of granite, and begins to smash the doctor’s head in, yet again.” [SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PEER REVIEW]

Academia unleashed.

(- OKAY, I HAVE TO CONFESS that when the character could only remember his title as “Doctor”, with Smirke having been mentioned earlier, my mind just jumped to Doctor Fanshawe… ;; He had left a strong impression on me, okay.)

- ;w; Over the fact that Martin got his me-time and that it was enough: he was clearly tense, but he came back with direct questions and knew what he wanted cleared up…

(MAG183) MARTIN: Finished? ARCHIVIST: Yes. MARTIN: Good. … I need you to explain something to me. ARCHIVIST: All right.

- I can’t believe that Martin Global Heartthrob Blackwood made The Eye FALL FOR HIM too:

(MAG183) MARTIN: How do I have a domain? That doesn’t make any sense. ARCHIVIST: It’s like I said. [INHALE] Everything here is either watcher, or watched. MARTIN: [SIGH] Subject or object, yes, I know, we’ve been over this. ARCHIVIST: Well, you’re a watcher, Martin. You worked for the Institute, you read statements, The Eye is… fond of you. You’re not getting thrown into your own personal hell, which means…

Jane, Peter, Simon, Elias, Salesa, Annabelle, now Beholding – do you have any limit, Martin.

!! I’m excited over the fact that Martin’s entanglement with Beholding stuff was acknowledged! Comparatively, Melanie had read 2 statements (MAG086, MAG106) and Basira 1 (MAG112). Meanwhile, Martin had read 12; plus, although Tim, Melanie, Martin and Basira had taken (… or tried to take) one live statement each in MAG100, Martin had also taken 3 additional full statements:

MAG084, Adrian Weiss (Corruption) MAG088, Enrique MacMillan (Buried) MAG090, Ross Davenport (Flesh) MAG095, Luca Moretti (Slaughter) MAG098, Doctor Algernon Moss (Dark) MAG100 (live), Lynne Hammond (Desolation) MAG104 (live), Tim Stoker (Stranger) MAG108, Adonis Biros (Lonely) MAG110, Alexia Crawley (Web) MAG134, Adelard Dekker (Extinction) MAG138, Robert Smirke (Eye) MAG142 (live), Jess Tyrell (Buried, Eye) MAG144, Gary Boylan (Extinction) MAG149, Judith O’Neill (Extinction) MAG151 (live), Simon Fairchild (Vast) MAG156, Adelard Dekker (Extinction)

With Simon highlighting that Beholding had compelled him through Martin:

(MAG151) SIMON: Hm! No wonder I’m so sympathetic to The Lonely. You know: this really is a place for self-discovery, isn’t it? [CHUCKLE] “Statement ends”, I suppose! MARTIN: Uh… I’m sorry? SIMON: Oh! Nothing, just my own hubris. I should have known. When I came here, I said to myself: “Simon,” I said, “you’re going to answer this young man’s questions, but you’re not going to give The Watcher a statement. You’re better than that.” But it’s a hard one to resist, isn’t it? You get in the flow of talking about yourself, and it all just… tumbles out. MARTIN: Mm, does seem like it.

Elias might have been eyeing him as back-up Archivist, too (although since then, we’ve learned of his bet with Peter which would have already been running at the time – it might have been that Elias mostly wanted to ensure that Martin wouldn’t die during the Unknowing because he’d be needing him afterwards):

(MAG116) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] What about Martin? MARTIN: What about me? ARCHIVIST: He should stay behind. MARTIN: What?! ELIAS: Really. MARTIN: Why? ARCHIVIST: Too many people might attract attention. MARTIN: No, no, I can help, I’ve been reading the statements! ELIAS: … Quite right, er, probably best he does stay behind. BASIRA: What, so you have a backup if Jon doesn’t make it? ELIAS: I’m sure that won’t be necessary.

Martin did a lot of research, read these statements aloud, took live statements, was hinted as a potential replacement; tape recorders have spawned around him like they do with Jon, even outside of statements, and Martin had been exceptionally kind towards them on multiple occasions; there had been that little moment of Martin somehow knowing that Jon was alive back in season 3 (MAG088: “It’s the not knowing, you know? I mean, Jon’s still alive. Not sure why, but I’m sure of that. But Sasha, I…”), shortly before we had learned about Jon’s own Knowing powers developing; we don’t know why and whether that was Beholding or The Web or something else, but Martin had been able to know how to get Jon out of the Coffin in season 4:

(MAG134) PETER: What does puzzle me, though, and I mean that genuinely, is… why you were piling tape recorders onto the coffin, while Jon was in there. [PAUSE] It’s a question, Martin, it’s– it’s not an accusation. MARTIN: I don’t know. And I just… felt like it might help. He’s always recording, I thought… it–it might help him… find his way out. PETER: Interesting. Were you compelled? MARTIN: [SULLEN] … I don’t know. … M–maybe? I–I, I definitely wanted to do it… PETER: But? MARTIN: I’m… I’m not sure where the idea came from. PETER: You should watch out for that. Could be something dangerous. MARTIN: Sure.

… And Peter’s whole plan relied on the fact that Martin was initially touched by Beholding:

(MAG134) PETER: [BREATHES] I’m still working out some of the kinks. But I believe I have a plan. However, it requires this place, and it requires someone touched by The Beholding. Elias was, perhaps unsurprisingly, unwilling to help.

(MAG158) PETER: It’s quite simple, really…! I want to use the powers of this place to learn about The Extinction: what it’s doing, where it’s manifesting. Then we can stop it. MARTIN: And you need me for this? PETER: Correct! Without a connection to The Eye, any attempt to use it would likely end… very messily indeed! But thankfully, it just so happens that you hold such a connection. MARTIN: So that’s it… Both “lonely” and “watching”. PETER: You must admit you’re the perfect candidate. MARTIN: I suppose I am.

Beholding baby!! Now coming in an additional Lonely flavour.

- Mmmmmmmm… The way Jon put it, it seems that Beholding is consciously rewarding its servant and:

* It could be Jon trying to make sense of something else, that he doesn’t understand? Gertrude didn’t think that the Fears were able to “think” at all (MAG145: “Sometimes, I think They understand us as… little as we understand Them. We don’t think like They do.” “I’m not actually convinced they “think” at all.”); reward&affection could be primitive enough feelings for a blob of terrors to work out (Martin fed Beholding as an assistant by reading statements => Beholding grants him things in the hope of getting fed even more?), but I don’t know, I can’t help but wonder if this is just Jon humanising the Fears a bit too much? It’s curious that Beholding got “fond” of Martin precisely when Jon himself fell in love with him – could Jon’s feelings have influenced Martin’s position in the apocalypse, could Jon be having a bit more power over the landscape than he realises?

* … If Beholding is rewarding its servants, that doesn’t bode well for Elias. WELL, no, I mean: it might mean that Elias is having a Great Time as a Beholding acolyte, which means it doesn’t bode well for my desire to see Elias get absolutely wrecked and wrong about being the “king of a ruined world”. I want him to have miscalculated, damnit! x’D

- I’m having so many feelings over Martin himself being unsure of what he wants, whether it’s better to know or to remain ignorant…

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: It’s like I said. [INHALE] Everything here is either watcher, or watched. MARTIN: [SIGH] Subject or object, yes, I know, we’ve been over this. ARCHIVIST: Well, you’re a watcher, Martin. You worked for the Institute, you read statements, The Eye is… fond of you. You’re not getting thrown into your own personal hell, which means… MARTIN: [QUIETLY] That one of them belongs to me. But that’s… Ho–how can I be a “Watcher”? I, I didn’t even know it existed! ARCHIVIST: But you’ve suspected for a while now, haven’t you? MARTIN: Maybe? But that’s not “watching”! ARCHIVIST: Do you want me to tell you about it? MARTIN: No. … Yes. N–no, no, I don’t know, I don’t know. [SIGH]

Is it a remnant of his discussions with Tim in season 3? He’s basically gone the reverse of Tim about it:

(MAG098) MARTIN: Y’know, I think he thinks that the distance keeps us safe, you know? Like, like, if he just makes sure that we’re not involved, we’re somehow fine. TIM: He’s an idiot. Look, we didn’t know what that door was, and it still trapped us. Ignorance isn’t going to save anyone. MARTIN: No, I mean, you’re right, I guess.

Martin has seen enough to know now that ignorance doesn’t protect anyone, but also that knowledge can be used as a weapon – that the horrors are just made to hurt. I feel like, in his situation, noping out of Jon’s statements was one of his only ways to assert his boundaries (which had been denied from him — and from others — for a long time)? But here, the situation is different; it’s about Martin’s own involvement, he knew the knowledge would hurt anyway… but it’s also his load to bear? To at least face what is happening, since he’s benefitting from it, since he’s been made complicit (without ever wanting to)? It still goes perfectly with the exploration of exploitative and oppressive systems: Martin, unknowingly and unwillingly inflicting hurt, still being in a better situation than others… while not being directly responsible for it, not wanting to benefit from it. It really makes me want to see Jon&Martin find a way to reverse or improve things, to get people out of the domains or giving them the keys to escape them, and I don’t know if I can even hope something about this ;; (On the Jon&Martin front, things are so good; but it still feels so unfair for… everyone else.)

- Martin having a domain and being classified as a “watcher” finally explains why he hadn’t been impacted by the apocalypse since the Change! He had been able to get out of the domains’ grasp even when he wasn’t around Jon (he had fallen behind at the end of MAG163, he wandered around in the Web’s theatre, he left Jon alone for most of the statements), and there was still the question of… how he was still surviving without eating, and at the same time wasn’t (at least as far as we knew) trapped in a domain:

(MAG161) MARTIN: [MIRTHLESS HUFF] What about food? ARCHIVIST: What about it? When’s the last time you thought to eat, o–or even felt hungry? MARTIN: [FAINT] What…? Wha… Uh… I don’t know. ARCHIVIST: No. Whatever is sustaining us now doesn’t need us to eat. MARTIN: That… that can’t be possible– ARCHIVIST: It’s a new world, Martin, the natural laws are whatever they want them to be. And I suspect they don’t much care to keep humanity fed and watered.

I was wondering if it was Jon’s influence, or Martin being “trapped” in Jon’s domain, and Jon had also alluded to the possibility that they were themselves trapped in their quest towards the Panopticon:

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: “Free” doesn’t really exist in this place. MARTIN: Apart from us. ARCHIVIST: I suppose. I–in a sense, though… [CHUCKLING] how much of that is because we are trapped in our own quest to– MARTIN: Okay, let’s, let’s not dive into another… ontological debate right now, not here. ARCHIVIST: Fair enough.

And Jon had even specifically told Martin that he had a domain, shortly before Martin got almost imprisoned in the Lonely house:

(MAG167) ARCHIVIST: We all have a domain here, Martin. The place that feeds us. MARTIN: Oh. [PAUSE] Where’s yours? ARCHIVIST: [MIRTHLESS CHUCKLE] I mean, we’re… traveling towards it. MARTIN: Oh! Right, obviously. [CHUCKLING] Duh. Hum… What about me? ARCHIVIST: … Would you… like me to… ? MARTIN: No, no. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. ARCHIVIST: … Okay!

(MAG170) ARCHIVIST: I, I didn’t want to… look too ha–, I–I–I promised I wouldn’t… know you, and, and with the fog in all–all the rooms, I’ll, I just, I lost y–, I… I–I’m sorry. MARTIN: It’s okay. ARCHIVIST: … No, I… I tried to use the… to know where you were, but… it was… You–you were faint. It was so strange, i–it took me so long just to find you…! [RUSTLING OF CLOTHES] MARTIN: Jon, it’s… okay. I promise it’s okay. This place tried, it really did, and honestly I… I wanted to believe it. But I didn’t. ARCHIVIST: This… “place”, i–it… [STATIC] My god…! […] I, I just… I wanted to make sure that you knew what this place was. MARTIN: It’s The Lonely, Jon. It’s me. ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] Not anymore. MARTIN: Hm! No. [LONG INHALE, EXHALE] No…! Not anymore.

And alright, that finally answers it: the Lonely house wasn’t his domain, wasn’t meant to be (but he was susceptible to it, got almost trapped in it as a “watched” although he eventually managed to reject and break free from it). His own domain was elsewhere, and Martin himself was amongst the “watchers” all along; Martin is living a bit like Helen in this apocalypse, having a fixed domain, but able to navigate elsewhere.

Aouch for Martin, since he had been encouraging Jon to smite domains’ rulers as soon as he discovered that Jon could do it; it was already murky territory for Jon himself (if the “avatars” and “monsters” just deserve to die, what about Jon?), it was awful with Callum (Martin himself drew the line at smiting a kid)… but now, we know it was directly including him, too, and that he had been fed through people’s pain all along. No wonder Helen had encouraged the smiting so hard, if she already knew they were kind of neighbours…

… Double-aouch for Jon, because he had offered twice the option for Martin to stay elsewhere, permanently:

(MAG170) ARCHIVIST: M–Martin, if you… did; i–if you wanted to forget… a–all of it, stay here and just… escape. I… I would understand. MARTIN: … N–no…! It’s comforting here, leaving all those… painful memories behind, but… It’s not a good comfort, it’s… I–it’s the kind that makes you fade, makes you… dim and… distant.

(MAG181) ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, I… It would have been nice to stay. MARTIN: [WISTFULLY] Yeah… I’d almost forgotten what it was like, you know? A bit of peace, eh! ARCHIVIST: I mean, you could have… MARTIN: No, don’t say it, Jon. You know I never would. I–I can’t just “forget” about all the people out here! Besides, I’d rather be trapped in a post-apocalyptic wasteland with you than spend one more moment in paradise with her.

And Jon probably didn’t know what Martin’s domain was exactly, back then, since we heard the knowing static kick in when he described the domain in this episode? But he probably knew, already, that Martin having a domain didn’t mean that he belonged to it as a victim, but as a ruler, and that it would hurt Martin so much. (“No one gets what they deserve. Not in this place. They just get whatever hurts them the most! … Even me.”, indeed ;;)

- I AM HAVING SO MANY FEELINGS OVER THE DESCRIPTION OF MARTIN’S DOMAIN…

(MAG183) [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: It’s a small domain. A swirling mix of The Eye and The Lonely. Inhabited by a few lost souls whose fear is not of their isolation or their agonies, but that no-one… will ever know of them. That they shall suffer in silence, and be mourned by nobody. That’s why you can’t really see it. It’s why even if we do travel through it, you won’t be able to see… any of the people trapped there.

… It reminds me so much of what Martin probably experienced in his own flat, when Prentiss besieged him for two weeks and Martin was unable to contact anyone, and nobody came to check on him? Did Martin’s domain grow from his own old fears…?

It also reminds me a bit of Naomi’s brush with The Lonely:

(MAG013) NAOMI: The fog seemed to follow me as went and seemed to swirl around with a strange, deliberate motion. You’ll probably think me an idiot, but it felt almost malicious. I don’t know what it wanted, but somehow I was sure it wanted something. There was no presence to it, though, it wasn’t as though another person was there, it was… It made me feel utterly forsaken.

Overall, the description is extremely… typical from what we’ve seen of The Lonely: there was Naomi’s misadventure, Ethan disappeared and nobody even claimed his backpack (MAG048), Yetunde Uthman had “disappeared a year ago. And nobody noticed” (MAG150)…

(But from that description alone, it doesn’t sound very Beholding, despite what Jon said? I’m curious about the Eye aspect of it…)

- Can’t believe that Martin canonically turns out to be the Lonely Eyes love(hate)child, gdi. It really was a custody battle in MAG158.

- Extra-sad that Jon warned Martin that there was meaning in the fact that Martin didn’t know anything about his domain, and wouldn’t even be able to see people in there… It’s just so cruel, both for them, and for Martin, to learn that he’s been unknowingly contributing to their misery (because they fed him and he didn’t even know about them)?

Pretty sure that Martin will stay with Jon to hear that statement, at the very least ;; (Or could he ask for something more? We’ve seen Jon extracting Breekon’s statement in MAG128, I wonder if he could put something into someone’s head like Elias had done, allowing Martin to give that statement himself…)

- I’m wondering about Jon’s own domain, too, now! He said they were heading towards it, so it’s either the Panopticon, the Institute or the Archives, or a mix of those… or something close to it, on their way to it. If Martin’s domain is a mix of Lonely&Eye, is Jon’s pure Eye? A mix of the 14/15? A Web&Eye mix, given Jon’s own personal fears?

I know that Jonny (lovingly) called out the obsessive classification in this episode through Jon, who went off on a rant about the “neat little boxes”, but he’s still using the Smirke classification this season:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: It’s a small domain. A swirling mix of The Eye and The Lonely.

(AND IN THIS VERY EPISODE… Jon…)

- On the one hand: feeling directly called out by Jon’s rant about how the divisions between avatars/monsters/humans/victims wasn’t and isn’t working, that reality escapes that division because it’s much more complicated than this:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: [HEATED] Avatar isn’t a thing, Martin, it’s not–! It’s just a word. A word used by… fools like Smirke to try and sort everything into neat little boxes, to reduce the messy spray of human fear into a checklist: Human, avatar, monster, victim. Only now, now, there’s a binary. There’s finally a clear dividing line and… [SIGH] Well. I’m sorry you’re not happy with which side you’ve ended up on.

(It felt especially relevant with Callum Brodie: could we really tell that he was an “avatar” when he was still a freshly wounded kid, even if a tormentor himself?)

On the other hand, well, that was still a useful distinction to have to identify servants, and mostly, I’m not extremely convinced by Jon arguing that there is now a Clear BinaryTM in the new world, between the “watchers” and the “watched”, since:

1°) Helen herself explained the dichotomy to Martin (MAG166: “And so, there are now exactly two roles available in this new world of ours: the watcher, and the watched. Subject, and object. Those who are feared, and those who are afraid.”). Given that she mostly tries to confuse them… that’s a red flag.

2°) Despite Jon defending that binary, we’ve run into plenty of examples of things… not fitting into that new classification. He himself acknowledged that Basira’s status wasn’t established yet; we’ve seen Salesa, protected by his camera from the chaos; Jon has been unable to know about Georgie and Melanie, only hypothesising that they might in what-used-to-be-London; Martin, a watcher, could still have fallen prey to another domain… That’s already a lot of special cases around that “clear dividing line”…

3°) Somethingsomethingsomething about how it’s in Beholding’s best interest that Jon believes in a clear, unchangeable, dividing line which serves Beholding’s own interests. If things feel fixed and unchangeable, then there is no point trying to fight against it or find a loophole, right?

Given that a Watcher can get trapped in another domain… does that mean that it could be the case for Jon, too? We got a threat of it in MAG172, when Jon began to give the statement of the following act – if Martin hadn’t interrupted him, would Jon have ever been able to stop?

- Confirmation that Daisy had “trapped” Basira in her Hunt! I was suspecting it since Jon’s first wording:

(MAG164) MARTIN: Is Basira alive? ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] MARTIN: Is she… in… o–one of these places? [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: She’s alive. Out there, not… trapped in a–a hellscape, but… moving. [STATIC DECREASES] Hunting. She’s… she’s looking for Daisy. She’s a few steps behind.

(MAG183) MARTIN: … What about Daisy? Or Basira? ARCHIVIST: Daisy carved through the domains of others. Basira… well… In a very real way she was a sufferer in Daisy’s domain. Maybe the only one. Hunting, following, hurting. Now Daisy’s dead, she’s… free. Sort of. She’s inherited something of Daisy’s ability to move through the other domains. For now, she’ll… feed off what she sees in them. As to whether the Eye ultimately gives her a domain of her own… I don’t know yet.

* And now, Basira seems to have a peculiar status… Is it because she killed Daisy? Is it because she killed the ruler of her domain? Jon explained that a ruler’s death didn’t change much for the domain itself, but maybe it operates differently if a victim kills a ruler (… they become the new ruler?)

* Another reminder that Jon cannot see the future.

* Big Eyeball didn’t immediately give Basira a domain, but Martin got one. I see that favouritism, uh. (Joke, it does make sense given how Martin recorded a lot of statements and had worked at the Institute for years and years.)

- I love how Jon managed to explain why he hadn’t told Martin everything, and how Martin… indeed agreed that Jon had been mostly trying to respect his wishes about not knowing ;; It’s true that Martin had been adamant about not hearing much of the horror:

(MAG163) MARTIN: J–Jon, enough! Enough! [STATIC FADES] … Please don’t tell me these things. ARCHIVIST: I… I’m sorry, I– There’s just so much! There’s so much, Martin, and I know all of it, I can see all of it, and I– It’s filling me up, I need to let it out! MARTIN: I’m sorry, but tough. Okay? Tha–that’s not what I’m here for. [VOICE IN THE DISTANCE: “No… No!”] MARTIN: I can’t be that for you, I–I just can’t.

(MAG167) MARTIN: Oh! Right, obviously. [CHUCKLING] Duh. Hum… What about me? ARCHIVIST: … Would you… like me to… ? MARTIN: No, no. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. ARCHIVIST: … Okay!

(MAG183) MARTIN: You didn’t tell her any of that. ARCHIVIST: I didn’t think the metaphysics of her place in the fear ecosystem was something she’d be particularly interested in at that moment. MARTIN: Fair. But you seem very reluctant to tell anyone any of this stuff. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] I did try, right at the start, but y–you didn’t seem to want to talk about it, so I didn’t push it. It’s hard, I have so much knowledge but… how do I decide what people want me to share, and what they never want to know?. MARTIN: I guess that makes sense.

But Martin seems to acknowledge that indeed, Jon had been trying his best about it…

(And now, I wonder if there is still other stuff that Jon hadn’t told Martin, in the same vein…)

- First choice for Martin:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] I was going to bring it up at the crossroads. Inside. I only just realised we would be going this way. […] MARTIN: I guess that makes sense. … So what did you mean about the crossroads? When you were talking to Helen. ARCHIVIST: It’s a maze in there, something between a, a Rubik’s Cube and a Magic Eye picture. I can find us the way through easily enough but… well. For us, there are two ways out. Two paths to London. MARTIN: What are the choices? ARCHIVIST: One would be a long, winding route, we’d see a lot of horrors, but remain… personally untouched. MARTIN: And the other is my domain. ARCHIVIST: Eventually. It’s a shorter path, with faces we know along the way. Including Helen. MARTIN: I thought Helen was her domain, wi–with all the doors and that? ARCHIVIST: She is, but she has a… position within this pseudo-landscape, like any other. MARTIN: O–okay. [INHALE] So, so, I mean, I suppose we’ve got to do that one, right? ARCHIVIST: We don’t have to, w–we–we could just– MARTIN: What, what? We could, we could dodge around it? Take the path of denial? I guess, but… what is it you keep harping on about? “The journey will be the journey”? [SIGH] I mean… It’s pretty obvious that this one is my journey.

! Glad that Martin didn’t hesitate and immediately understood what it was about – that it mattered to do it that way, that Martin had to face it, that this is how this world works. No hesitation about it. He got a demonstration with Basira, but still, he was quick to accept it.

I’m expecting a few episodes before Martin’s domain, so… with the overall rhythm of the season, they might reach the Institute by MAG189? And Hill Top Road during Act III?

- Since Jon mentioned that the path Martin ended up choosing had:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: Eventually. It’s a shorter path, with faces we know along the way. Including Helen.

I wonder about those “faces we know”, since we’re running super-low on ~avatars~. Different options:

* Institute staff. Rosiiiie?

* Melanie&Georgie. A bit unlikely, given that Jon had trouble knowing what was the deal with them, I feel?

* Since Helen will be there, people who gave live statements to Jon and were trapped in his nightmare zoo. I’m mostly thinking about this one, especially since Jon’s “No one gets what they deserve. Not in this place. They just get whatever hurts them the most! … Even me.”… (And if it’s about an internal and metaphorical journey, I feel like having to face people that Jon hurt, first unaware (he didn’t know about the nightmare zoo when he signed to become the Head Archivist), then partially unwilling but still doing it (he felt guilty about it but still hid it, still chose self-preservation instead of warning the others about it), would have its place…)

- In the same fashion, who is trapped in Martin’s domain? Unrelated people? Live statement-givers? (;; I’m thinking of Jess, who had the misfortune of being compelled by Jon and of giving a statement to Martin…)

… Given that it’s confirmed to be a “journey” for Martin too, I can’t help but squint at Jon’s wording, because. “Faces we know”. The only thing we know of Martin’s father is the fact that he looks like Martin… (MAG118: “The thing is, though, Martin: if you ever do want to know exactly what your father looked like… all you have to do is look in a mirror~ The resemblance is quite uncanny. The face of the man she hates, who destroyed her life, watching over her, feeding her, cleaning her, looking down on her with such pity–”)

- I’ll be having Annabelle’s words stuck in my head (ha) for a long time but:

(MAG181) ANNABELLE: Don’t worry, Martin. We’ll meet again. Hopefully when you’re feeling a little bit more… open-minded…! MARTIN: I wouldn’t count on it. ANNABELLE: I would. MARTIN: [SIGH]

… Was it a reference to Martin learning about his own domain and about how the world operates, his place in it? I think that Martin might be even more resolved to turn the world back at whatever cost, now that he knows that he is himself sustained by fear…

(LISTEN, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HOW WEB!MARTIN CAN STILL WI–)

- !! Footage of Martin saying “I love you” for the first time ;w; I love how it was the thing he was certain about, both a slight decompressing joke and a true statement, a reminder that he has faith in Jon, that he has something to cling to?

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: If you’re sure. MARTIN: … I’m sure I love you. [FOOTSTEPS] ARCHIVIST: I love you too. [FABRIC RUSTLES] Let’s go.

(He had mentioned that he was “in love” in MAG170, I’m happy to hear him telling Jon, too!) And the fabric RUSTLED, SO LONG AND SO HARD, AND AT LEAST TWICE!! I love how the tension from right before and after the statement had faded by the end of the episode ;w; Rollercoaster of little emotions…

MAG184’s makes me think of something Leitner had said (more lore about the Fearpocalypse?), and of Vast and Corruption… with very different vibes. If Corruption, and keeping in mind that Jon has announced that they will be encountering “faces [they] know along the way”, it cooould contain Jordan Kennedy, the exterminator from Pest Control…? Especially given that both Jon and Martin had met him (Jon took his live statement, and Martin pleaded offscreen for him to get them the jar of Prentiss’s ashes to comfort Jon).

(Yessss, I am absolutely aware of the irony of still using Smirke’s categorisation after another episode in which we were told again that it is bollocks, but if Jon himself still occasionally labels the domain as one of the 15, so can I ♥)

[korgbelmont]

Part 4

With the help of the Vampire, Marianne, the trio prepare to put an end to the mystery four fanged creature...

Written in the present tense

Part 3

Warnings: Blood, injury

Word Count: 1129

Notes: Title created on cooltext.com

With Marianne's wound healed, all that can be done is wait. Callum leans against the wall, drumming on his legs while Marianne watches. Rose and Sarah keep their hands on their blades, knowing that at any moment, the creature could attack.

Rose - It's weird to think that this could be over tonight...

Sarah - I can't say I'll complain.

Rose - I'll miss having you around.

Sarah - What do you mean?

Rose - You said about leaving once you're free. Once I take your place.

Sarah places her hands on Rose's shoulders, looking her in the eyes.

Sarah - I said I would stick around to train you. And we still haven't made a decision as to what we're gonna do next. So you don't need to worry about that, alright.

Rose nods, and Sarah pulls the young Valkyrie in for a hug. A loud bang above them draws all their attention and the two Valkyries part, drawing their blades. Callum and Marianne share a look, able to hear what it is above them. The creature tears through the roof and drops down, leaving cracks in the floor. Sarah flies at the creature, slashing her blades at it. It uses it's wings as a shield, but shouts in pain as the Valkyrie blades easily cut through the skin. It opens it's wings and the force sends Sarah back. Callum intercepts just in time, catching her while Marianne and Rose charge at the creature. Knives in hands, Marianne speeds out of the way of the creatures swipes, getting in cuts where she can to try and slow it down. Callum and Sarah get onto their feet.

Callum - You okay?

Sarah - Yeah.

Taking her blades back up, Sarah flies at the creature, running one of her blades through the creatures chest and flying it towards the wall. The creature grabs the bone of one of Sarah's wings, clenching it and a sickening crack sounds. Sarah screams out, but she keeps with her aim, and pins the creature against the wall with her blade. Stepping back, she grabs at her wing as Rose uses her own blades to pin the creature's shoulders. It lashes out at them all as Callum storms over, launching his fist at speed into the creature's face, knocking it unconscious. Stepping back, he turns his attention to Sarah.

Sarah - I'm fine, it'll heal.

Marianne takes one of her knives, to the creature's throat, but Callum gets in the way.

Marianne - This thing needs to be put down!

Callum - I know. But I want to know what it is. Talk to it.

Marianne steps back reluctantly, keeping her knife ready. The creature groans and looks around, eyes settling on Callum and Sarah.

??? - You two... I... I know you...

He notices Sarah holding her wing.

??? - Did I...?

Callum - You don't remember?

The creature shakes it's head, lowering it's hood.

??? - The moment I get the scent of blood, something within me takes over. I try to control it, but the beast within gets stronger with each drop.

Rose - Who are you though? Why do you have wings and four fangs?

Percy - Percy. My name's Percy. My mother is a Valkyrie. Hrild.

Sarah - You're Hrild's son?!

Percy - Yes. My father though... she said he was something called an Ancient.

Callum and Marianne share a confused look before Marianne turns her attention to Percy, cautiously approaching him.

Marianne - When you feed, what is it like?

Percy - Once I start, I can't stop. But it's like I'm taking more than their blood, like I'm taking something more.

Sarah - Their soul. If your mother is Valkyrie, then there's some of that soul magic within you.

Percy - I try to stop it going so far, sometimes I can stop myself. But not always.

Sarah - Which is why I was able to retrieve a soul of one of your victims.

Percy - I just want this hunger to end. In whatever way. I welcome my death if that's the case. Let me die with the sunrise.

Looking out the door, the sky is orange in the distance as the sun begins it's rise. The four share looks, everything seeming in question. They take a step back, keeping their voices low.

Sarah - If Percy is Hrild's son, then does Regildr know?

Marianne - It can't be ruled out. But I wonder about the Ancient that is supposedly his father. Two mentions of an Ancient in different cases within such a small amount of time?

She looks at Callum.

Marianne - The two of you may share a creator.

Callum - But what do we do about...?

He points over his shoulder at the still pinned Percy.

Marianne - Knowing what we do now. It might be possible to help him. So long as Regildr is willing to as well. He can have a chance at a normal Vampire life.

Callum looks at Sarah.

Callum - It could be worth a try.

Sarah - As long as we're all in agreement.

Rose nods in agreement.

Rose - A second chance at life isn't something everyone gets.

Noticing Rose's tone, Sarah pulls the young Valkyrie in for a hug for a moment. Marianne goes over to Percy.

Marianne - We may be able to help you. Stop the thing within you. Have a chance at life. But if you can't be saved. I'll chain you to a roof and leave you to the sun.

Percy - Alright...

Landing down, Sarah is stopped by two Valkyries.

Sarah - I need to speak with Regildr. It's about Hrild.

Regildr - Let her pass.

The guards step out of the way and Sarah approaches the Queen.

Regildr - How goes the hunt?

Sarah - We found Hrild's son.

Regildr freezes for a moment before composing herself.

Regildr - Is he dead?

Sarah - No. Because there might be another way...

Later, after telling Regildr everything, Sarah visits the cells, going to Hrild.

Hrild - What do you want?

Sarah kneels down to be at the same level as her former superior.

Sarah - We found Percy.

Hrild's eyes widen and she lunges at Sarah, but is stopped by the bars between them.

Hrild - If you have killed him--

Sarah - We're trying to save him. The mix of Vampire and Valkyrie DNA did something to him. And we're trying to remove that soul sucking aspect.

Hrild - He still lives?

Sarah - Yeah. He's alive. And I need to know if it's true what you said about his father. Is he an Ancient?

Hrild stares down the Valkyrie, seeing the determination at wanting the answer to the question.

[zuppizup]

Aftermath

Summary:   After the initial relief of surviving their plunge off the Storm Spire, Callum and Rayla have some unresolved issues.

Pairing: Rayla/Callum

Word Count: 1322

AO3 Link: Aftermath

Rayla yawns, strolling into the small kitchen. The Storm Spire is surprisingly well equipped considering it is the home of Archdragons. It had been pretty cramped before and after the battle but as the various factions made their way home it had become more comfortable.

Ibis and Callum are already up, sitting at the table sipping tea and discussing magic or something of the like. Despite his initial scepticism, Ibis had wholeheartedly embraced Callum and readily agreed to take him on as an apprentice.

They both glance up as she enters, Callum beaming in a way that still gives her butterflies.

“Morning.” She stretches, slipping into a chair opposite them and reaching for the steaming teapot.

“How was watch?” Callum hands her the honey, now familiar with how she liked her tea.

“Fine.” She suppresses another yawn as she stirs in the sticky substance. “The storm had Zym buzzing all night though. He only crashed just before sunrise.”

“Oh dear.” Ibis raises his eyebrows as he closes the book he had been showing Callum. Lessons would be off the table for a while.  

“Aw, it was fine.” Rayla sips her tea. “It was nice to have the company.”

“How’s his flying come along? He was getting really confident the other day.” Callum refills his own cup.

“Eugh, tell me about it.” She snorts. “He’s trying to get me to jump of the Spire with him.”

She doesn’t notice Callum stiffen.

“I tried to tell him ‘Once is enough, little dragon’ but he won’t take no for an answer.”

“Rayla.” Callum stares at his cup, his fingers shaking slightly.

“So, better make sure you keep watch in case-”

“Damn it, Rayla, that’s not funny!” 

Callum jumps to his feet, knocking over his chair and slamming his cup on the table. The tea sloshes out and onto his hands. “Fuck!”

Rayla is shocked speechless. She looks from Callum to Ibis.

The older elf glances from her to Callum and back again before he nods at her and hastily exits the kitchen.

“Callum.” She moves around to him, her voice soft.

He’s wiping his wet hands on his pant legs, muttering under his breath.

“Callum.” She reaches out to him, but he pulls his hands away.

“It’s not a joke!” He glares at he before he turns around and paces, running his hands through his hair.

“I know.” She bites her lip. “I’m sorry.”

“Have you any idea what that was like?!” He spins to face her, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “To see you just fucking jump off a CLIFF?!”

She’s never seen him mad like this. In all their trials, he’s never really sworn and never at her. She doesn’t know what to say. “Callum, I-”

He shakes his head looking away. “I know what you’re going to say… you didn’t have a choice. I know that. I know it.… but… it doesn’t change how it felt.” He slumps into one of the chairs, his head in his hands.

Rayla sits next to him but doesn’t speak. She can tell he’s not finished.

“Did…” He looks at her and the immediately looks away. “Did you even think about me? How that was going to affect me?” He sniffs, taking a moment to regain his composure. He knows he’s being selfish but he’s been trying to ignore this… rage for too long. “From that height… Rayla, there would have been noting left of you! We wouldn’t even have had anything to bury.” His voice cracks.

She swallows. “Callum…”

“And what if I hadn’t seen you jump?! It would have been like you just fucking disappeared! I’d have spent the rest of my life looking for you.” He takes a deep breath, rubbing his face.

She doesn’t know what to say. She’s not sure there are words.

“I want you to promise you won’t do anything like that again.” He’s looking at his hands.

Rayla shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

“I want you to promise… but I know you can’t…” He sighs glancing at her. “Can you?”

Rayla swallows, looking away. “…no…” She answers very softly.

He nods slightly, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

She feels her throat close up and there’s a pain in her chest like she’s never felt before… not even when she looked into that endless sky and saw him plunging after her. “What… what are you saying?” She whispers, blinking back tears.

He looks at her and she sees some of the anger leave his eyes. He reaches out for her hand. “I don’t know… I just want this to be over. For us to be safe.”

He’s examining her hand, running his thumb along her knuckles.

“I know you wouldn’t be you if not for your damn selfless heroism,” He sighs, giving her a small smile. “but it doesn’t make it any easier to live with.”

She squeezes his hand. “Well, that’s a bit hypocritical.” He raises his eyebrows at her. “I mean, you did jump after me.”

“Fair point.” He snorts in amusement. “Aunt Amaya has been making ‘if your girlfriend jumped off a cliff’ jokes since hearing about it.”

They sit in silent contemplation for some minutes.

“I know I shouldn’t be… but I just can’t help being hurt that you did it.” He takes a deep breath. “Rayla, you mean the world to me… and I had just hoped you felt the same.”

“Why the hell do you think I did it?!” Rayla can’t keep the anger from her voice as she pulls her hand back.

Callum looks up at her, surprised by her outburst.

“If I hadn’t stopped Viren then he would have killed Zym and stolen his power and then what? Do you think he was just going to let you all go?” She gets to her feet. “I did it for you. For everyone. I did it because I love you.”  

It’s Callum’s turn to be speechless.

“And then you just jumped off the bloody cliff anyway!” She wipes at angry tears. “What if he spell hadn’t worked? You would have died for nothing! At least my death would have meant something.”

He doesn’t say anything as he gathers her in his arms, holding her close. Rayla doesn’t resist, instead burying her face in his neck and taking deep breaths in an attempt to hold back tears.

“Now what?” She mumbles.

Callum sighs, holding her close. He wants to shake her, to tell her she’s done enough, that’s she’s sacrificed enough, but he knows it wouldn’t matter. She can’t stop being her. Can’t stop being a person who believes in doing the right thing no matter what the personal cost.

He wants her to value herself more because it hurts so damn much to see her do it to herself but she’s spent her whole life feeling guilty and worthless, it’s not a mantle she can just shrug off.

So, if she won’t value her own life, he’ll have to do it for her.

Even as far back as when she ran off the save that damn fire dragon he’s been chasing after her.

Trying to save her from herself.  

And he knows it’s his own damn fault for falling in love with her despite all that.

He takes a deep breath and pulls back to look at her.

Her cheeks are damp with tears and she’s flushed with anger and fear and grief but she’s still the most beautiful girl in the world to him.

He kisses her, softly and deeply. Pours all his adoration for her into it, hoping to break through to her. It’ll take time but he wants her to see how amazing and wonderful she is. How the world is better off for having her in it.

He gives her a gentle smile and kisses her on the forehead.

“I guess we just have to keep saving each other.”

[theredhairedmonkey]

It's interesting you think Harrow was referring to Sarai when he asked Callum to be Ezran's partner, defender, and closest advisor. I always thought he was referring to Viren, and asking Callum to become Ez's High Mage. Why doesn't the letter mean that?

Well, Harrow had no way of knowing Callum would become a Mage, so I don’t think having him become a High Mage is what Harrow had in mind. It’s true that he intended Callum to inherit the Key of Aaravos, but that could have meant any of a variety of things, not necessarily that he has to become a mage to unlock its secrets. Needless to say, if Harrow truly knew of Callum’s magical abilities, he would have had him trained to master them, rather than just force him to learn sword-fighting and all these other princely skills he was having trouble with.

But in the more abstract way, “partner, defender, and closest adviser” does refer to Sarai and not to Viren. Because (1) While Sarai was alive, she was all those things for Harrow, and (2) at the time that Harrow wrote the letter, Viren was none of those things.

Sarai was indeed Harrow’s partner

Sarai: “You’ll be a champion of love and justice, and I’ll be fighting by your side.”

I mean…this one should be straightforward.

Sarai was also Harrow’s defender

Sarai: “I think this was in our marriage vows, right? Something about keeping you alive when you're acting like a brave idiot?”

Even prior to their marriage, it’s hinted that Sarai was a general—perhaps the general—of the Katolian army.

Opeli: “Your Aunt Amaya, and your mother before her, saw to it that our army was the best trained and most disciplined force in the kingdoms.”

As a general, her entire mission was to not only protect the kingdom but to protect the king and his family. For their entire relationship, Sarai was always the defender, either keeping Harrow alive or keeping Harrow safe.

Lastly, Sarai was Harrow’s closest advisor

As stated by Viren, Sarai was the one Harrow sought advice from. Whether it’s about the wisdom of hunting down the Titan, or about the insecurities he had with being King:

Sarai: Harrow, what troubles you?

Harrow: Why do I deserve this? What did I do, except being born with everything?

Sarai: You are humble, and grateful, and kind.

Whenever he’s seeking wisdom or guidance, it’s always Sarai. According to Viren, she “made him better. Harrow told me he was never as strong or brave as Queen Sarai believed him to be, but he tried every day to be stronger and braver so he could live up to what she saw in him.”

Viren, on the other hand, was never able to fill Sarai’s shoes, whether when she was alive or dead.

He was never Harrow’s partner

Viren clearly thought so.

Viren: “He insisted I stand next to him in the painting, because he knew I would stand by him through anything.”

But when he tried to express this sentiment.

Viren: “Right now I do not come to you as my King. I think of you as my brother.”

Harrow blew up at him.

Harrow: “I see the problem now. It’s that you believe you are special. Better than everyone else, above the laws of this kingdom.”

We’ve never seen Harrow have this kind of temper, before or since. So, I’d wager that Harrow’s anger must have been building for quite some time. Viren was perhaps always overstepping his boundaries, seeing himself as a “partner” to Harrow while the King always saw him as a subject. A loyal and capable subject of Katolis, but a subject nonetheless.

It’s interesting to note that, while Harrow does not regard Viren as his brother, he emphasizes that Ez and Callum are brothers, and wants them to treat each other as siblings, rather than as King and subject.

In his letter to Callum, he stresses that, whatever lies before him and Ez, they’ll face it together. As partners.

“I may not have long. So I’m forced to ask myself…what can I pass on to my sons in the short time I have left?”

“Soon you will both face a lie.”

“I ask you and your brother to reject history as a narrative of strength and instead have faith that it can be a narrative of love.”

“I will be watching over you and your brother always.”

“I have a selfish wish. And that is for you and Ezran to be…free.”

And when you look at the kind of relationship Harrow had with Sarai, and the kind he had with Viren, ask yourself which one he wanted his sons to have?

Viren was also not his defender

Think back to how Harrow joked about executing Viren for disturbing him.

Harrow: “Viren, didn't I tell you if you ever woke me up this early again I'd have you executed?”

Harrow: “So, what's so important that you come into my bedroom risking your life like this?”

While this is obviously a tongue-in-cheek joke, it does hint at the fact at how Harrow saw Viren at the time. He preferred to keep Viren at somewhat an arm’s length, and regarded the matters he brought before him as relatively trivial rather than life-or-death. Even though Viren does do things to protect his King, it’s clear that Harrow regards these as ancillary—the Crownguard formed the bulk of his protection, and he was already making preparations for his defense when Viren arrived.

And if there’s an exchange that justifies why Harrow keeps so much distance between them, it’s the following:

Viren: “Know this, every one of these men and women would gladly trade their life to save yours.”

Harrow: “Would you?”

Viren: “I-uh…”

Harrow: Get out.

Lastly, Viren was not Harrow’s closest advisor

Harrow doesn’t rope Viren into any of his plans—while Viren was free to make his own plans, Harrow didn’t include him in any defense strategy he himself came up with. He sees Viren as primarily a problem-solver, but not necessarily whose advice he trusts his life with.

And even when Viren provided counsel to Harrow, his actions made it clear he did not regard Viren as his closest advisor.

In fact, he seems to have choice words for Viren.

Viren: “You're acting stubborn and ungrateful.”

Harrow: “Should I be grateful that you destroyed that dragon's egg? Thank you for starting this unwinnable war? Thank you for angering the dragons and the elves so much that tonight they are here for my life?”

Harrow questions and second-guesses all of Viren’s advice. In fact, there’s not a single time that I can think of where Harrow approaches Viren and asks him for his guidance. Instead, it’s usually Viren who approaches Harrow with plans that Harrow reluctantly signs off on and ends up regretting.  

It’s clear by the point Harrow hands Callum the letter, he doesn’t keep close company with Viren. He holds Dark Magic, Viren’s primary craft, in high contempt. He thinks Viren is primarily responsible for the assassins coming to kill him. He thinks all of Viren’s plans have amounted to mere shortcuts for which the “blood price” would have to be paid for eventually.

When Harrow is writing to Callum, he doesn’t want him to have a relationship with Ez that he had with Viren. By that point, their relationship had deteriorated to the point that Harrow is miffed when Viren calls him his brother, he no longer loops in Viren to his defense plans, and questions and criticizes the advice that Viren gives him.

Instead, he wants the two boys to have a relationship like he had with Sarai, who Harrow always sought advice from, with whom they had an incredibly positive relationship that made Harrow want to do and be better, and with whom Harrow would trust his life with.

I’ve already written before here how Callum has already become a “partner, defender, and closest adviser” for Rayla. I’ve also written here about some of the things Callum has in common with his mother, and one of these days I plan to write about the other commonalities they have. But Callum really is his mother’s son—I think Harrow saw that and wanted to foster those qualities. When he saw moments such as:

It reminded him of how he and his wife used to spar.

And it made him see the close bond that the two boys have with one another. They’re inseparable, they fully trust one another, and they would always be at the other’s side. For Callum’s part, he will always protect his brother and look after his wellbeing. He could speak his mind, and work together with Ezran to build a better and brighter Katolis.

Harrow could never imagine having that from Viren. And honestly, it’s quite possible that this is part of why Viren held Callum in such utter contempt—without having any special talents with spells or steel, this boy will be in closer company with his King than Viren ever could be.

No wonder he has so much hatred for him.

[wildselkie]

Top 10 Scenes in TDP Season 1 (pt. 1/3)

Top 10 Scenes in TDP Season 1 (pt. 1/3)

*not ordered in which is better or worse, but it will be in chronological order*

Also some things are worded weirdly. I have a pain in the ass time trying to get my thoughts across in words so... I thank you for your patience :))

_________________________________________

1) The scene where Callum, Ezran, and Rayla find the dragon prince. Ep. 2

I think this is one of the more pivotal moments in the show. I mean it is literally the scene that sets the story in motion after all! Two human princes, an elf assassin, and the lost dragon prince (who was thought to be dead/gone/egg destroyed(?)).. this is just IT.

*also i’m aware that Ez probably found the egg first cos he already knew about this secret area but still

2) Viren (attempts to) proposes the idea to trade his life in for Harrow. Ep. 3

Now there are other well thought and well written posts on this scene with Viren and Harrow, so I won't waste your time with all the gushy stuff. I find this scene important because it shows the lengths that Viren would go for his friend. Whether he's doing out of the goodness of his heart or some other selfish reason... maybe both(?)..

!WARNING! MINI VIREN POST ALERT EVEN THO I SAID I WOULDN'T GET INTO IT

In the book Moon, it dives deeper into the plot along with expressing the characters' thoughts and feelings. As for Viren, it's stated in the book that he wanted to:

"offer his life for Harrow's, but he wanted him to understand that this was more than just a sacrifice of a subject to his king. This was personal"

"... he would need to be straightforward. He wanted to say simply I love you and I will die for you" (Ehasz 80).

I have no doubts that Viren didn't not love Harrow or anything of the sorts, but at the same time it feels like there was another motive. Maybe there was, who knows.

All we know about Viren is that he's a father of two (Claudia & Soren), divorced/ separated from his wife, and he's a dark mage. Of course there's some more (like he's taller than Harrow according to the character line up)... also his staff... like if you look at it, it's the same one as the mage who faced Sol Regem all those centuries (?) ago. Maybe he's related to him, or possibly descended from one of the followers. I'd imagine that teaching dark magic may be a thing within his family and ancestors... he taught Claudia dark magic. That doesn't prove anything but it's a small thought.

ANYWAY-- this scene is one of many scenes that show Viren in a vulnerable state. The book gives a look into how he felt when he decided to sacrifice himself and everything. It's just interesting and I'm here for it. 

3) Amaya and her weapons grade baguette Ep. 4

On a less serious and more fun note, the fact that Amaya is a breakfast connoisseur is just perfect. Amazing. Fantabulous.

"As a breakfast connoisseur, she was offended that Ezran would neglect a hearty morning meal" (Ehasz 120).

I only emboldened and italicized "offended" because in the show YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE HER FACE WHEN EZ TELLS HER.

Bruh she was so offended lmaooo

It's right at 13:36 time in the show... the slow zoom in and all 😂

4) Amaya and Gren meeting Viren at the statue Ep. 5

I’m trying to see if I should have paired this with the first scene where Amaya arrives first. That scene is pretty calm but has a somber feeling. It introduces the relationship of Amaya and Sarai without having to directly say it. 

But this scene here is... interesting. Not in a good way or bad way, but we see they’re reminiscing of the past. At some point, they all got along nicely. Callum even noted in his spellbook that Viren’s family became like a second family to him when he moved to the castle. 

This interaction was cute tho. It started out positive (sort of) with them joking about Viren eating the last jelly tart which pissed Sarai off lol. But then Viren went on to apologize to Amaya and reassured her that what he does is out of the goodness of his heart and love for Katolis. But...

“Aaaaand, he’s back, Amaya thought” (Ehasz 150). 

And then went on to sign that he’s on a bunch of bs. See? Even Amaya knows he’s full of shit lol. But really tho... it makes me wonder how much of bs Viren goes on even before the events of the current story line. 

5) Rayla saves Bait from the sea monster Ep. 5

Let us give a round of applause for Rayla going against her fear of water to save Bait, the grumpy frog who hates her. I think this just goes to show how compassionate Rayla really is. This would include the time when she goes back to grab bait back in the banther lodge in episode 4. 

6) Viren giving his kids their *secret* missions Ep. 6

Okay this isn’t just one scene. I cheated yeah yeah whatever >:3

When Viren is telling Soren what he must do when he finds the princes, at first he doesn’t fully get it, but then.. OH n0

Viren’s intentions are starting to unfold and come together as one. Like, this man just told his own SON that should he find the princes, he should kill them. This 18 yr old bby 

bruh

And Viren didn’t say it aloud, but he heavily implied it. Only to then gaslight him later on when Claudia confronts him in prison. 

As for Claudia, Viren tells her that she must retrieve the egg. And do everything in her power to bring it back, even if it means that she’ll have to sacrifice Soren... her own damn brother ;-;

7) When Callum finally lets Rayla hold the egg Ep. 6

This scene is pretty big. Rayla knows that Harrow is long gone and is trying to find a way to tell them. Obviously she doesn’t choose the best time to try it.

They were in a dire situation that could potentially kill them (even tho they had plenty of those moments already). The reason why this scene is so big is because it shows her struggle to break the bad news (ever since the right binding fell) as she continues to grow closer to them. Here you can see Callum passing the egg to her, despite her hand being in the terrible state that it is in. It is also the scene where right before passing it, he finally tells Rayla that he trusts her. 

8) Human Rayla!! Ep. 7

Human Rayla is so corny but it’s the good kind of corny. One of the best comedic jokes in the series! 

That is all cos human Rayla needs an AU of being a nighttime tv host or smthg

9) Viren and Runaan Ep. 8

yo this is alot okay. The scenes with these two introduced some Moonshadow philosophy and such (ie. not being scared of death). Runaan being the stoic and serious assassin that he is. And Viren not having any of this shit. 

There are three major things here:

 Runaan knows about the mirror and is most likely aware of who Aaravos is. He literally says, “That mirror? You have found something worse than death.” Goddamn...

And then Viren just... trapped his soul.. his essence into a goddamn coin. Just like that? wow. And hold it, almost admiring it in front of Gren. 

Also this is the first time we officially see Viren in that form. In the beginning of episode 5 we are given a darkened silhouette of Viren and the butterflies. But here we see the damage resulted from years of having done dark magic, and it’s horrifying. He is the high mage and all but goddamn. I mean with every action there are consequences so- 

10) Callum destroying the primal stone Ep. 9

I feel like this is one of the “of course it’s this one!” scenes but it really is! Callum realizes that only a sky dragon can be hatched in the eye of storm and there he is with a literal storm in his hand. By now, Callum has come to understanding what feels right and that being a mage is his destiny. But he also understands that he needs to sacrifice some things for new beginnings. This whole journey was to get the lost dragon prince home and restore balance and peace and with the egg starting to die... well you can’t really do that without the egg. 

It’s at 18:50 where he realizes all of this. It’s one of the big boy moments in the show. Seriously, it’s a big moment and the suspension helped get the feels in. And we got a cute baby dragon!! 

End, begin. it’s all the same. (pls someone get that reference ;-;;;)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some honorable mentions:

- Episode 7: Claudia and Soren interacting. I love their sibling bond; it’s so silly and sweet and I love it. It makes me wish I had an older brother of some sort. 

Ellis and Ava,, I like the flashback story given when they meet the dragang. I just like it, okay? Smol chiald w/ smol wolf pup and a hippie Lujaane seeing the beauty & strength in Ava. 

CGI Coran. That all I have to say about that guy lmao

- Episode 8: When the group is going up the cursed caldera and they encounter that giant leech. Like can we just appreciate Callum’s funny way of making out a plan? Fat respect for that. 

Another is when the group split up and waited for the leech to leave. The conversation between Ellis and Callum were sweet as was the one between Rayla and Ez. I loved Ellis’s admiration for Callum being a mage. And her expectations of what a mage was is pretty hilarious. So wholesome. The same goes for Ez when he gave Rayla that daily fill of positivity. 

Like... Ellis is telling Callum how smart and confident and cool he is. And meanwhile Callum is like... it’s not me, it’s this. *whips out primal stone* And she goes on to tell him that she believe he’ll be amazing with or without the stone. 

And Rayla is telling Ez how she failed in her job of killing the enemy. And Ez is telling her how she’s awesome at everything she does.

this is the positive wholesome shit I come for like... this is parallels but GODDAMNIT it’s so.. ;;;;-;;

Yo this is long ENOUGH! Thank you so damn much if you read to the end. You’re the real beauties. Anywho... uh parts 2 and 3 will be up soon. 

 It’s 11 now so I need some sleep. goodnight kids

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Right back at ya, same-ask-buddy!! *does a pew pew pew sound* If Runaan escaped and made it back to the Silvergrove first, how would Callum and Rayla’s trio have gone down?

Hmmmm, a good question! I’d always pictured Runaan heading straight for Rayla. But what if he didn’t? Maybe… maybe Gren busts him out and he does go galloping after Rayla–on Gren’s horse, hair flying, in a shirt borrowed from Gren-- “no you keep it, I insist!”, but he loses her at the docks, stows away on another ship, and ends up arriving in Xadia ahead of her.

Okay this got ridiculously long and entertaining, so thank you very much!

Runaan’s lotus would never have sunk, and Ethari would have been overjoyed to see him return, even in his injured and bedraggled state. And they’d both be frantic over Rayla.

I have a headcanon that the six lotuses make that pinging noise not only to indicate life, but so the elves who were bespelled can actually locate each other, exactly like Rayla did on the castle battlements. She ran out there, paused, there was a ping, and then she said, “You’re here, I know you are.” and there was another ping when Runaan yelled from inside the coin but let’s not think about how he was trying to reach out to Rayla nope

So I’d imagine that Runaan would pack his and Ethari’s mounts with gear and go back for Rayla and Callum (and, he assumes, Ezran). Maybe time for a fresh shirt, absolutely time for a couple new swords from his hubby’s wall, but no time for hair brushing, that mane’s gonna be wild and messy this whole ride. He’d find her back across the Moonstone Path.after Callum connected to the Sky arcanum, after he used dark magic. Both of those things would land hard on Runaan. And so would seeing baby Zym!

Rayla would absolutely stand between Callum and Runaan with her swords out. “I can do this all day,” she’d sass him. “But I’ve got a mission. I’ll ask you one last time, Runaan. Please, help me. But if you won’t, then please stay out of my way.”

And Runaan gets softly distracted by the way Zym is clinging to Callum in worry. Runaan the assassin is scaring the Dragon Prince. So he puts his swords down. “Very well, Rayla. I’ll escort you to the Queen of the Dragons.” A longsuffering sigh. “And the human. And then he’s going back across the border.”

Rayla’s feeling protective, though. “Let’s let Zubeia decide that.”

Another sigh. “That’s fair. Now come. We have a long journey ahead.”

Rayla sees he still has one binding on, and she asks Zym if he can help Runaan the way he helped her. Runaan is shocked when Rayla holds the Dragon Prince up to the white binding, and the little dragon pulls it free with his baby teeth. “There is more than one way to release, Runaan,” she says kindly.

And Runaan takes a moment to be totally thrown off his game. This is not the hard, cold world he’s used to. But he buries his confusion and thanks Zym for his help. I bet he smiles, too, and bows, and Zym licks his nose, startling him and making Rayla laugh.

So Runaan rides his Moonstrider–perfectly and with exquisite control–while Callum sits behind Rayla–way behind Rayla, trying not to touch her at all–on the Shadowpaw. Zym perches anywhere he can on the Shadowpaw or its riders. He doesn’t ride behind Runaan.

Callum’s got to be struggling with the dichotomy of who Runaan is. He knows Runaan killed Harrow. But here he is being softer, off his mission.

The border is another unpleasant surprise: Callum’s use of dark magic means that Sol Regem won’t let him pass. Runaan’s willing to let Callum live and return home, but Rayla insists that the quest will mean so much more if Callum’s a part of it when they reach Zubeia. Runaan quietly disagrees, but Rayla says she’s not leaving him, so Runaan can once again get out of her way or help.

Runaan’s not used to this kind of leadership-level defiance from her. But her plan is sound, so he offers to help, to make sure it goes smoothly. Naturally, he ends up dancing across Sol Regem’s crown to throw off the sunbirds and their alarm cries, and distract the dragon at some critical point. Once they’re safe on the other side, though, he insists on bath time for the stinky human. Sits on a rock overlooking the little pool where Callum’s washing off. Doesn’t make the slightest attempt at conversation.Does manage to chuckle wryly at Callum’s suggestion that Runaan should go guard Rayla at her own pool, as if she needed Runaan’s help to stay safe.

Back at the Silvergrove, Runaan and Rayla dance to open the village illusion, while Callum has to stay to the side with Zym and watch. It took Rayla a whole day to convince Runaan to let Callum into the Silvergrove at all, and Callum tipped the argument by offering to go blindfolded the rest of the way. Runaan tied his scarf over his eyes and let Rayla make sure he didn’t fall off the Shadowpaw and die or anything.

The Silvergrove is still in a bit of uproar over the assassins’ deaths, and seeing a human in the village doesn’t calm things down. Runaan is put in the position of having to glare them into silence, defending Callum, and that makes him grumpier. But Rayla’s so happy! She’s home, and she gets to show it to Callum.

They all get Moonberry Surprise, and Ethari gets to explain what he knows about the Dragon Queen dying, and to take care of his family and see to their needs. He can’t stop touching Runaan, to prove to himself that he’s okay, back home safe. And he keeps hugging Rayla. Runaan won’t thank Callum for saving Rayla with dark magic. But Ethari does thank him for looking out for her the whole way here.

There is no “two blankets or just one” here. Runaan balks at the idea of letting Callum inside at all but Ethari tsks at him and says he’ll take care of it. He makes Callum a nice toasty hammock that hangs near the forge and keeps him toasty warm.

Runaan is in a much better mood the next morning. Ethari put in a lot of effort to relax and encourage him, because he knew what Runaan was going to do next: take Rayla and Callum and Zym to the Storm Spire. And he does. He seems a little baffled that he cares this much, but he’s doing it for Rayla, and Ethari insists it’s the right thing to do, and that he’s the perfect elf to make sure they get there safely.

All packed up, they head out the next morning. Runaan’s his usual stoic self, leading the way. And Ethari has given him his own pendant to wear. Callum is bursting with questions as he rides behind Rayla, and she answers him with her usual teasing sass. Hearing her voice, how easily she converses with the human, both soothes and worries Runaan. Knowing he’s got his arm back thanks to Zym is giving him a lot to think about, too. He’s basically using this part of the trip to process his feels, just like Rayla did in canon.

Ethari still shoots his lighthawk arrow, and Nyx intercepts it. But Ethari, tricky elf, doesn’t mention Runaan in his note, so Nyx doesn’t expect an assassin to be guarding the kids she’s come to mislead and rob. She smartens up at the tip of his blade, while Rayla elbows Callum and winks as if to say “Watch this.”

Negotiations ensue and an accord is swiftly reached, in which Nyx will lead them across the Midnight Desert, and if she doesn’t try anything clever, she’ll be rewarded on the far side. She agrees readily, and they set out. Runaan stays up all night at the oasis, so Nyx never tries to steal Zym. 

Rayla and Callum still have a midnight chat, but it doesn’t start with her tears. She has both her dads and she was never ghosted. What’s weighing on her heart is whether she can live up to Runaan’s expectations now that she’s let him down once. She’s afraid he’s going to disown her or something. That he thinks she needs shepherding across Xadia like she can’t get there herself. She feels like he’s treating her like a child.

Callum sees something else. But he’s not comfortable talking about it because it paints Runaan in a much kinder light than he’s used to. He sees a stabby dad trying to make up for dragging Rayla onto a terrible mission, by helping her with her own, by trying to ensure that it goes well. He sees Runaan being protective and very very lowkey apologetic. But he’s not ready to allow Runaan to have that side yet. He ends up talking about Harrow for a couple of hours, and Rayla listens. 

Runaan has to choose between keeping an eye on Nyx and keeping an eye on Rayla. He chooses Nyx. So he misses the part where Rayla kisses Callum and then glances over worriedly to see if Runaan was watching.

Runaan’s pretty exhausted the next sunrise as the ambler carries them across the desert, and the moment he’s out, Rayla and Callum grin and look at each other like they’re about to kiss again. And Nyx takes Zym and makes a beeline for the far side of the desert. Callum and Rayla yell after her. Runaan wakes and grabs his bow. His arrow finds Nyx’s wing before Zym can zap her. She still tumbles into the sand, and Runaan’s not interested in picking her up again. He’s woken up very grumpy. But while Zym returns to Callum, Rayla goes after Nyx and rescues her. Runaan isn’t really on board with her plan, but he does pot shot soulfang serpents from the ambler’s saddle to give Rayla enough room to reach Nyx safely and bring her back. Callum’s too worried about Rayla to really think about how easily Runaan can kill stuff.

Callum totally does his “Because she’s Rayla” speech right in front of Runaan. He’s just as flabbergasted as she is, because he knows just as well as Rayla what open feelings mean among Moonshadows. He doesn’t expect Callum to know that, but he knows Rayla knows. And she’s letting Callum keep talking.

“Rayla.” They both jump when he calls her name. But he just wants to talk. So, like the Moonshadow warriors they are, they climb way up the ambler’s neck, leaving Callum behind, and talk. Rayla shows Runaan how she sees Callum: brave, warm, a team player, skilled with primal magic, willing to do foolhardy things for the right reasons. And then she spins that, not onto herself, but onto Ethari and Runaan both. It’s her “I like him because he’s like you” speech. Runaan doesn’t see a single iota of Callum in himself. But he does see some of Ethari. And that gives him a lot of pause. He needs some time to think, so he tries to buy it by saying, “Don’t trust him yet.”

Rayla just sasses back, “Oh, it’s way too late for that, Runaan. He’s saved my life four times already.”

They cross the desert and Nyx cheekily demands her reward. Runaan gives her a raised eyebrow of judgment. “You said if I led you across the desert and didn’t try anything clever,” she says, “I’d be rewarded. And,” she adds, holding out her hand for payment, “I think we can all agree that I wasn’t very clever just then.” She tosses a sassy wink in with her grin.

Runaan just stares at her. Then he pulls one of his arrows from its quiver, snaps it in half, and hands it to her. “No one will buy that from you, so don’t try.”

“What’s it good for, then? A busted arrow.”

“A broken Moonshadow assassin arrow means your justice will come later. Try to live long enough to appreciate it.”

The group travels to the Storm Spire, and Ezran and Phoe-Phoe find them there. Runaan hangs back from Ezran, but he’s very distracted by Phoe-Phoe’s tranformation and her feather. He wants to ask Rayla about the Moon Nexus, but now isn’t the time. And this all happens in Avizandum’s shadow, making everyone feel very uncomfortable. Callum says his speech about how the statue makes him feel, and he says it loudly enough for Runaan to hear on purpose. Rayla holds his hand and stands with him. Runaan eyes Avizandum, then he looks back at the kids. He never intended to get this soft, but it’s Callum who’s letting him. It’s getting harder not to respect the young prince, because he does have so many traits that Runaan admires about his husband. But there’s a heavy shadow that lies between them, and it can’t ever be lifted.

Runaan takes the mounts up the Spire behind the kids. Ezran and Callum revive them with Ventus Spiralis. Runaan looks at Callum speculatively–he could’ve just let him suffocate. Callum just says, “We’ll need everyone together on this.” Because yes, it’s one thing to return to the Dragon Queen with an elf and a human bearing Zym safely. It’s another to return in the company of the assassin sent out to take Harrow.

But Zubeia isn’t awake, and soon Ibis sees the human army is coming. He flies off for help, and Runaan and Rayla find themselves where Lain and Tiadrin were, in the egg chamber. And then Runaan tells her what he saw in Viren’s coins. “Lain and Tiadrin didn’t run, Rayla. Viren took them, and he still has them. We were wrong.”

Callum defends the base of the Spire, and Runaan, surprisingly, joins him, leaving Rayla to stand where her parents stood. He just offers Callum a tolerant look when he steps out beside him, arrow nocked on his bowstring.

“Fighting to protect who you love?” Callum asks quietly.

Runaan pauses. “Always.”

Callum sketches a Fulminis rune. “Same here.”

And they fight side by side. Runaan keeps Callum safe. Callum keeps Runaan safe. It doesn’t resolve much. But it’s a start in the direction of forgiveness and trust. 

And then after the battle, Ezran tells them that Viren’s sneaked up top after Zym. Runaan and Callum dash up the stairs, with Runaan pulling Callum by his coat half the way.

They reach the top in time to see Viren toss Rayla back, her swords flying. Runaan pushes Callum toward Rayla. “Stop her. He’s mine.”

Callum gasps as he sees Rayla gathering herself for a run at Viren. He leaps after her, spurred by desperate love, and tackles her into his arms on the steps of the Pinnacle. “Rayla,stop, you’ll die, you can’t! Don’t leave me. I need you.”

The words tumble out, but a shadow flickers past them, and they both look up in time to see Runaan tackle Viren off the cliff.

“No!” Rayla and Callum both yell. They scramble up, pick up a frightened and hurt Zym, and stare down into the clouds. 

“I can save him, I can save him,” Callum’s mumbling. “I can do the wing spell, I know I can.”

“Look!” Rayla points down into the clouds. Something’s circling. Then a dark red shape bursts up into the setting sunlight, spirals, and lands back on the Pinnacle beside them. Runaan lets the shadowhawk spell dissipate and holds up the pendant chain, now empty of its moon opal. 

“Love really does give you wings,” he says. He rests a hand on each of their shoulders, sees Viren’s fallen relic staff. “You’re the mage, Callum. You should look after that staff. Perhaps we can find a good use for it.”

And with one hand, he holds up a little pouch that he pickpocketed from Viren on the way down and jingles it. “Right, Rayla?”