starwberryshenanigans

[starwberryshenanigans]

HOW TF DO U CROCHET STRAIGHT EDGES?!

i’m trying to crochet a panel but i cannot for the life of me get my edges straight. does anyone know any tricks or strategies to keeping them even?

[starwberryshenanigans]

why is “my tears ricochet” so rayllum coded??? like i was listening to it and i kid you not stopped when i heard a lyric and thought of them

“i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace” rayla couldn’t say goodbye to callum in person

“and your the hero flying around (literally) saving face” this is more of a head canon but i feel like callum put everything he had into mastering the sky arcanum to help play an active roll in katolis and be a good example for ezran

“and if i’m dead to you why are you at the wake” callum never stopped loving rayla even through his (rightful) anger

“cursing my name, wishing i stayed, look at how my tears ricochet” rayla feeling remorse for leaving and how she knew he was hurting when he learned she left

OK NOW THIS IS WHERE IT HIT ME

“and i can go anywhere i want, anywhere i want just not home” rayla can wander anywhere she wants except back to callum who she considers her home (based on the s7 “your my home now” line from her) also “home” could be interpreted as the silvergrove

“and i still talk to you, when im screaming at the sky” rayla missing callum and being all alone and seeing him as the sky (for obvious reason)

“and when you can’t sleep at night, you hear my stole lullaby” could be the headcanon that callum had/has dream of rayla when she left but mostly i find it heartbreaking cuz we later and s6 hear raylas lullaby

and lastly

“you had to kill me, but it killed you all the same” rayla having to prepare to kill callum when he does the spell in s7 (also goes w a previous lyric of “and you go for my heart aim for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones)

extras that just remind me of them but nothing coherent

“even on my worst days, did i deserve babe, all the hell you gave me, because i loved you, i swore i’d love you till my dying day” aka depressed callum writing heartbroken poems

“you know i didn’t want to, have to haunt you, but what a ghostly scene” can’t think of anything but find it funny cuz rayla was a ghost

“you wear the same jewels that i gave you as you bury me” going back to the end of s3 where rayla gives callum the necklace ethari gave her and also gave me an idea for an au where viren kills, or coins, rayla and callum has to mourn her with that necklace being the only physical reminder of her

“you turned into your worst fears” callum finding himself turn more and more to dark magic

ok that’s it i just needed to get this out swifties pls let me know if yall found anything else or if there’s an edit of this cuz i do find a lot of taylor swift songs to rayllum edits for some reason (not complaining tho)

[starwberryshenanigans]

Let Me Choose You

some context: canon divergents where Callum doesn't forgive Rayla right away so she gives up and decides to leave again once Aaravos is dealt with. also rayla wears gloves to cover up her wounds from those two years

“You're leaving?!” Callum burst into Rayla’s tent in frustration. “What am I still just an inconvenience?! Am I just another liability?!”

All he can see is the back of her as she stays still. “Oh okay now you don’t want to talk” he says annoyed.

He waits for her to say something. Anything. To be able to understand why this was happening again. “Rayla please, say something! Give me an explanation. Give me a reason! You can’t just leave me here again to wonder what I did to make you go. What I did wrong to make you leave again!”

“I…” She starts to speak but suddenly goes quiet.

“What?! What is it?! What did I do?! Am I still not as strong as you?! Am I not strong enough?! Am I still too weak?!”

“YOU WERE NEVER WEAK!” she turned to him, sobbing. “I WAS WEAK. I WAS ALWAYS WEAK. I-” she pauses to try to hold back a sob. “I’m still weak.”

She hugs herself, squeezing tight. “I was too weak to let you be there for me, so I left. I was too weak to grow, so I survived.”

She paused and took a shuddered breath. “And I was too weak to stay away, so I came back.”

Callum grasped for words but could find none. She had come back as if nothing had happened. As if things would pick up how they had been when she left. He had thought she had not cared how she had hurt him. Now he knew she was just trying to act like she was fine.

“I hurt you when I left and I hurt when I came back. The one strong thing I can do is to leave you be. Let you live your life without me being here as a reminder of that pain I caused.”

“Rayla, no-” he tried to talk, but she cut him off.

“Do you see yourself? Do you see how much you have grown? How much have you changed? You're thriving. You learn so many more spells, you’ve read so many more books, You’ve lived. I thought maybe when I saw you again we… but I haven’t changed. I haven’t grown. I haven’t lived. I spent all that time surviving and searching just to end up with nothing. I threw it all away. My friends, my family...you. I made the choice but didn’t give you one. I wish I gave you a choice. I’m sorry Callum.”

He took a second, processing all she had kept to herself. Grateful for an apology yet worried for her.

“Rayla” he reached for her hands and paused when he felt how rough they were. He looked down, concerned when he saw the scars, the bruises, and the burns. “Are you okay?”

She snatched her hands back in fear and quickly started searching for her gloves without saying a word.

“Rayla?” he said more worried

“I’m fine” she responded firmly, moving across the room still searching.

“What happened?!” he asked in a panic

“It’s nothing!” she responded equally as panicked as she couldn’t find the gloves.

“No it’s not! You're hurt!” he responded getting more and more concerned.

“It’s fine, I’m fine!” She said, knocking over her bag and spilling the bandages on the floor.

“No, you're not!” trying to get her to see that.

“Yes, I am!” she yelled back, matching his tone. She stopped as she found the leather gloves that had fallen next to her old bandages. She put them on and showed Callum. “See, it’s fine.” She said defiantly. “My hands are fine, I’m fine everythings fine!” She said annoyed, ready to walk away until she felt him gently hold her hand, pleading her to stay.

“Rayla, please!” Callum begged. “You can’t just keep this to yourself. You can’t just pretend that nothing is wrong. You have to talk to someone. Talk to me!” She turned to him, but didn’t look him in the eyes.

“Sometimes things happen. Fires, fights, thorns. And sometimes you can’t escape them, sometimes they catch you at your weakest. Sometimes the fires burn, sometimes the thorns prick, and sometimes” she paused remembering that final fight back at the Scumport, and remembering that red scarf that had thrown her off, making her lose the final “you lose the fights.” She looked up at him and saw him look back at her, worry and guilt in his eyes. “It’s part of surviving. Part of making mistakes. Part of weaknesses.”

She really was surviving. Not being able to grow or live simply because she was just trying to find the means to make it to the next day. She was by herself, dealing with issues no one should have to face alone. He should have been there. He should have helped her.

“I wish-”

“No.” Rayla quickly cut him off. “This isn’t your fault. You couldn’t have done anything because I didn’t give you the choice. Don’t blame yourself for this.”

He knew this of course, but still wanted to be there for her. He held her hands again, worried if she had been dealing with the pain of the burns and cuts even now. “Does it still hurt?” he asked, concerned.

“Not really,” she said casually. “I mean sometimes the blisters bleed a little if I can’t let them heal properly” she added once she saw Callum’s look of suspicion.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Callum asked worriedly.

“You all have enough to worry about with Aaravos, I can handle a little pain” She said badly faking confidence in her voice.

“But you shouldn't,” Callum said firmly.

“It’s fine, Callum,” she said, annoyed. “I’m fine, I can be strong.”

“Why is that so important to you?!” he asked frustrated “Why do you care so much if you're strong or not?!” “

Because of this!” She ripped the glove off showing him her hand. “If you're not strong, you get hurt, and if you get hurt it leaves marks! Not just on your hands either! You see this?!” She pointed to a healing slit just above her left eye. “ A group of humans that weren’t so keen on a moonshadow elf sleeping by their village.” “Or this!” pointing to a noticeably large chip in her horn. “Fight with a banther after I picked the wrong cave to hide from the rain in!” “You have to be strong to survive out there by yourself!”

“If you hate it so much then why do you have to leave?! Why do you have to put yourself through that alone?!” He asked, confused. “What else is there?! I’m ghosted from my home, my parents are gone, and because of me I lost you!”

“You didn’t lose me!” he yelled. “You think you have to be strong, that you’ve think you’ve been weak this entire time but you’re still the strongest person I know! Rayla you fought and banther and survived. Do you realize how strong that is?! You’ve always been strong, with no break. So stop it! Stop being strong. Stop dealing with everything by yourself and let yourself be weak for once. You say you wish you would have let me have a choice but you're not now. Let me choose! Let me choose to take care of you. Let me choose to forgive you. Let me choose you.” He reached for her hands again, kissing the palm of her exposed, then taking off the glove of her other hand to kiss it too. “All of you.”

my first fic w over 1000 words?! guys is this improvement?? ngl i lowkey like this one the least out of mine cuz it lowkey seems cringey to me but its like that everytime i write so hopefully its actually decent also ive never written callum this mad and rayla this mentally not good so it lowkey reminds me of this meme

as always u can find my other (and better) fics here and on my ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62711884

[starwberryshenanigans]

so i made a callum breakup playlist cuz a lot of the songs in listening to rn i could see him playing after rayla leaves…so…im just gonna leave this here

[starwberryshenanigans]

For the record, you can pry my “Sarai used to be in the Crownguard before she married Harrow” headcanon from my cold, dead hands

Amaya trained the Standing Battalion and Sarai trained the Crownguard, and their ability to work together is why Katolis had the strongest fighting force in the Pentarchy

You can also pry “Sarai and Soren were insanely close before her death” from my cold, dead hands. Maybe not even then, because I’m gripping this idea tightly, even in death

Sarai helped Soren and his family manage his illness because of her experience with Damian. And Soren was just so excited that the Head Crownguard was hanging out with him! Even when he was at his worst, he’d always perk up if he could see Sarai train the soldiers from his bedroom window, or regale him with stories of legendary battles at his bedside

After Soren got better and Sarai left the Crownguard to become Princess of Katolis, she offered to show him the basics of swordplay and strategy to help Soren with all of his pent-up energy. Even though he wouldn’t be interested in poetry until years later, Soren was introduced to the concept through Sarai, who’d recite some of Damian’s old work for him during their time together. Sarai had essentially become one of Soren’s constants after his family fell apart with Lissa leaving, Viren growing cold, and Claudia throwing herself into magic

At least until she died, heroically saving his dad

[starwberryshenanigans]

i always read a book AT LEAST two times to see all the foreshadowing i missed the first time and yell about it 😋

they don't want you to know this but rereading books is not a waste of time and is actually even more fun than the first time around

[starwberryshenanigans]

“fanfic is rotting the new generations brains they should be reading the classics to broaden their vocabulary”

ok then why do i have a whole page in my notes app dedicated to the new words i learn for each chapter of the current fic im reading???

(also it’s something that i want to read so it strengthens my love of reading and also inspires me to write and also fosters a community of writers)

[starwberryshenanigans]

notes app be damned, i finally wrote

set in the aftermath of S7

“I guess, I’m also worried that you’ll go back to the Silver Grove… without me. I don’t want to be separated again.” A mix of anxiety and fear in his voice.

She looked at him and smiled with an affectionate hum. “Callum, you're stuck with me now.” She gently pulled him to her and quickly kissed him. “Stuck I say! Like two adoraburrs cuddling on a cold day.” He smiled warmly as she tucked Sneezles securely in his scarf. “You go ahead. I won't leave without you.” 

And she never did. 

Even after everything. Even with the ever looming inevitably of the threat of Aaravos returning within the decade.

 The stakes had never been higher than now, and although the last time a threat even half this calamitous was on the horizon she had lied and left, she knew she was never going to make that mistake again. She meant her words this time, completely sincere without a trace of dishonesty in her voice or mind. 

She would stay month after month. She would be there for him this time. She would make it to each birthday. She would comfort him when he woke up from nightmares. She would hold his hand through those hard moments. She would have those “big feelings” talk with him when he needed them. She would return the favor. She would do everything that he had done for her and the things she had wished she could during the time she was gone.

 And she did. 

She was there for him every time he needed her. She was there for every birthday. Every hard day. Every nightmare. She was there, helping with progress on Everkynd and she was there when it was finished. And she was there that night with Callum, after playing games with Ezran and the now very talkative Zym, on the roof looking up at the sky in the glow of the moon, seeing a familiar constellation shining brighter than she had ever seen. She raised her head from Callum’s shoulder to look up at him and smiled when he looked back at her. He wrapped his arm around her and she felt somewhere deep in her soul that Leola's wish had come true. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62245027

credit to @raayllum for the idea, inspiration, and some wording, thank you sm!!

[starwberryshenanigans]

wait for me

I really meant to get this out before s7 dropped, except I started hyperfixating on other stuff I wrote, but... whatever! A little bit of Hadestown-inspired angst. Callum and Rayla part ways at the Moon Nexus.

“The wind is changing,” Runaan declared, striding back from the platform of the Moon Nexus and tilting his chin up. “Warm and westward. We–you”–he nodded to Callum–“need to begin the journey back while it remains favorable.”

Callum shuddered and wrapped his arms around Rayla– as if she’d had any intention of leaving her little spot snug against his chest. “One more?”

“One more what?”

He shrugged. “Minute? Hug? Kiss?”

Rayla stood on her tiptoes to press her grinning lips to his. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

But he didn’t let her go, didn’t summon his wings, only pressed his forehead to hers, chest beginning to rise and fall more rapidly. Rayla rubbed his back, still pressed up against him, and lazily kissed his neck.

“When you get there, all you have to do is wait for me,” she said, his cute rounded ears between her fingers and sharp jawline under her palms. “Find Ez, and wait for me. I’ll be right there.” She hesitated, rubbing her thumb over his cheek, then added with her next exhale, “I promise.”

ao3 :)

[starwberryshenanigans]

fallen star

[starwberryshenanigans]

Thinking about the arc 3 time skip being somewhere between 7-12 years.

Aaravos will be back in ~7 years. If they go with a time skip over 7 years, that means that the characters will be walking on eggshells every moment after. For years. Every minute knowing he’s capable of being back, he’s somewhere, gathering power and working with Claudia to take down everything they worked so hard for.

I just think that it would be. So interesting to see how it breaks everybody down. How it messes with each character. How it has the capability to bring them right back to where they are in season 7. Ezran ready to resort to violence, Callum ready to do dark magic, Rayla ready to kill.

Or even just something simpler.

Do they all snap at each other over the smallest of things? Do they get into fights easily?

If characters do have kids, how do they deal with that? Are they incredible protective and don’t want them out of their sight? Do they regret their decision to have kids before Aaravos was dealt with?

For 7 years they were able to feel safe-ish, but then those 7 years and 19 days come and go and nothing.

(And honestly I feel like Aaravos would wait a few extra years just to fuck with them)

[starwberryshenanigans]

Heart and Truth

[starwberryshenanigans]

Dunno if this has been done yet, but I decided that since everyone loved my Live Rayla Reaction I did a year or two ago that I might as well do Runaan, too.

[starwberryshenanigans]

You know, for kids

[starwberryshenanigans]

COOKED. ATE. LEFT NO CRUMBS.

Okay so I see a decent amount of people headcanoning that sorvus would adopt a bunch of kids and I agree but hear me out;

they decide to wait a while before adopting wait for everything to hopefully settle down sooner than later BUT for now, every summer since the death of Aaravos, Soren and Corvus become head councilors for Camp Katolis and treat every camper as either their own child or they've got a sibling vibe going on with some of the older ones. I know Soren 100% ADORES these kids and he's super happy about getting to lead and teach them everything he knows and what he was taught at camp when he was little. Corvus also loves the kids but he'd be the more strict one of the two and I know he'd definitely be the one to look out for the more quiet/less social kids that come to camp. He also mainly teaches the campers about tracking and animal facts related to tracking them as well as general basic survival skills. Soren would definitely lead arts and crafts and teach about sword fighting. In my mind Terry would also be a councilor and he'd make sure the kids know wich plants are edible or not and different things they can be used for and he'd make up rhymes to help kids remember about edible/nonedible plants. Both soren and corvus would teach the kids summer camp songs and you KNOW camp Katolis would be one of the first.

I lost my train of thought after realizing this got way longer than I intended. Goodbye.

[starwberryshenanigans]

*sigh* pulls up fic idea notes

why yall gotta make such inspiring posts 😔

WITH LINKS i had to put the ideas WITH LINKS cuz yall just that inspiring how dare 🙄

[starwberryshenanigans]

so like. how much did Callum tell Runaan in 7x07. he obviously explained the dark magic plan to him. asked for the man to kill him. but did he tell him that he'd asked Rayla first. did he tell him that she'd promised, when Runaan potentially tried to dissuade him. "it'll be you or her doing it," Callum says, a lump in his throat. "please. if i don't have to burden her with this..." it's one less burden on his shoulders, too. so Runaan hesitates, thinks—this boy is young, not even twenty; about the life he won't live, the life together he and Rayla will both be deprived of—and then agrees, his heart heavy; the boy king will be alone.

"she'll forgive you," Callum says, the steadiness unable to hide the hopeful slant in his voice, because it's not for certain. "her and ezran, they both will."

and Runaan knows that when he says 'you,' Callum really means himself.