#then a dog (the love of my life i miss her) when i was out if high school and my parents were separating
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Funny How Time Flies
terry richmond x black, fem!/plus size reader
summary: you are a shy, introverted person who wants to break out of your shell and experience fun at least once in your life. During a mutual friend's group trip, you meet Terry and have the best sex with him. Once the fun is over, will you and Terry stay in touch?
warnings: explicit smut (18+), light use of daddy, foul language, dirty talking, dom/sub, oral (f), pussy slaps, fingering, unprotected sex, nicknames (beautiful, baby, baby girl), words: (3k)
note: hey, I'm working on another mini-series, but this one is sweet, wholesome, and freaky! let me know your thoughts and if you want to be tagged in future parts. please enjoy!
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You’ve been shy and introverted your entire life, often feeling tired of this loneliness. Your daily routine typically consists of working, exercising, and returning home, which leaves little opportunity for social interaction or adventure.
While you go out when you want to, most of your time is spent at home with your loving dog. Despite that, you know something is missing—particularly, a boyfriend and a more vibrant social life.
The anxiety stemming from your shyness made it difficult for you to step outside your comfort zone. You want to seek more experiences beyond the walls of your home and be more outgoing.
When your friends Sasha and Maya invited you on a group trip, you accepted. They were surprised but happy and reassured you that you wouldn’t feel left out or awkward during the trip.
Sasha, in particular, couldn’t contain her excitement, as explained by her boyfriend, Bryce. He was bringing his old marine friend, Terry Richmond.
You met the girls at the airport and greeted them with hugs. Sasha explained that Bryce and Cameron needed to find Terry, which made you feel nervous. She told you a little about him, but ultimately, you would have to form your own opinion about him.
"Oh, here they come! Finally,” Sasha replied, gesturing towards three tall, fit men in the distance.
Bryce was a tall, dark-skinned man, while Cam was kind of brown-skinned since he was lighter than Bryce. Then your eyes led to him. Who must be Terry?
At that moment, you felt an undeniable spark of love at first sight. Terry was slightly taller than Bryce and Cam and had a lighter skin tone.
He was so handsome, with good hands, good lips, and, good god, a nice body!!! He was fine, and you wanna intertwine him.
"Good, made it back on time and found big dawg," Bryce nudged Terry on the arm, laughed, and then moved over to Sasha.
"Yeah, bro was at the wrong damn gate/terminal," Cam said, walking over to Maya and greeted her with a kiss on the forehead.
"My fault; it's been a minute since I've been at the damn airport; y'all know I don't travel a lot," Terry chuckled lightly as he caught you staring, prompting you to look away.
"Well, we're glad you found him. Now...um, Terry, I want you to meet someone," Maya said with a smile.
He raised his eyebrows curiously and she motioned towards you and introduced you to Terry by using your name.
“Hey, there!” He said, giving a polite wave, and you just stared at him. Everyone looked at you, awaiting your response, but nothing came out until Sasha nudged you.
“Hi,” you said, waving back with a small mile. You held his gaze for a moment, feeling a flutter of nerves in your stomach, before shyly turning your eyes away.
The flight to Cancun, Mexico, is currently boarding for its scheduled departure at 1 PM. Passengers are advised to have their boarding passes and identification ready and to proceed to the gate promptly.
"Okay, that's us. Who's ready to get Lit?" Maya clapped her hands, easing the awkwardness and creating a more hype vibe.
Sasha wrapped her arm around your shoulders playfully, giving you a knowing look through her sunglasses.
"Look at you, drooling all over Terry already; I told you he would be your type," She teased, and you playfully hit her arm.
Soon enough, you were all on the plane, and of course, you were sitting next to Terry. He was talking to you, but you felt so nervous that your responses were short.
You both had a lot in common: you were single, didn’t get out much, and were on this trip to have fun. You couldn’t believe that a handsome man like Terry wanted to talk to you despite your shyness.
Terry was eager to talk to you from the moment he first saw you. He felt a strong connection and wanted to get to know you better. He was really glad he decided to go on this trip because your sweet and shy nature made him want to break you out of your shell.
“You're kind of the shy and quiet type, huh?! I like that; some people say I'm reserved, so I guess I can relate,"
"You don't seem like it; you seem like an outgoing person." You look at him for a second. His captivating hazel-green eyes burn into yours, causing a flutter in your chest.
"Well, I sometimes can be both; I'm a little reserved when I don't know the person, but if I know you, I'm more open, I guess," Terry explained, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.
"What makes me so different?" You asked in a playful tone, building some confidence.
Terry laughs and smirks, "I guess you're that special!"
You felt like your heart exploded the way he looked at you, obviously attracted to you. You just nodded, looking away, trying to hide your smile.
“Hey....come on, I was just getting used to hearing that pretty voice of yours,” Terry said, leaning in, and your breath hitched.
You and Terry chatted throughout the entire plane ride. Although you were still a bit shy, you found yourself being more talkative than before, which felt positive.
Perhaps Terry was just what you needed for this trip. Once your group arrived at the stunning villa, you marveled at its beautiful interior.
“Alright,” Maya announced, her enthusiasm infectious as she gathered everyone to discuss the week's activities. She carefully ensured everyone felt included and excited about them.
Maya suggested you all chill and settle into our bedrooms for the afternoon. You began rolling your heavy suitcase down the hall, its wheels clicking softly against the floor.
“Do you need a hand?” Terry asked, approaching with a friendly smile and ready to help you with your suitcase.
"Yeah, thanks." You said with a small smile, walking to your bedroom door and walking in.
"You can put it right there, " You said, pointing at the chair before you and indicating that he should place it there. Terry glanced at you curiously as if he were too nervous to ask a question.
A moment of silent communication passes between you. Terry stepped forward, closing the distance, and you felt your heart race.
You instinctively wanted to shy away, but you fought against the urge, reminding yourself to be brave.
“I hope this doesn’t sound too forward, but I would love to take you on a date tonight. I am drawn to you and want to crack your shy shell and see what’s inside. Of course, only if you want me to," He expressed with a hopeful smile.
“I would love that, Terry,” You said with a smile. Terry smiled back, gave you his number, and set the date plans.
He walked out, winking at you as he left the bedroom. You bit your lip and excitedly squealed, jumping dramatically onto the comfortable bed.
-
You told the girls about the date, and they were so excited that they went upstairs to your bedroom to help you out.
“I don’t think I can do this; it's been so long since i've been on a date, and all together, I'm shy as fuck” You said, getting your nerves up.
“Babe, it’s fine. You need this, and Terry is an amazing guy. We wouldn't have brought him on this trip if we didn't know he would be perfect for you.” Sasha says, ease your anxiety a lot more.
“Sasha is right; just have fun and let go, but not too much; you might get dicknotized,” Maya smiles playfully as she hands you a sexy yellow dress that catches the light beautifully.
"This will look amazing on you," She added, her eyes sparkling excitedly. As you slipped into the dress, your nerves faded, replaced by a sense of pride.
Maya's perfume filled the room as she sprayed on you; it had a familiar and comforting aroma.
Sasha, the fashionista, was styling your box braids and applying your makeup while you looked in the mirror.
"Remember," She said, glancing over her shoulder, "confidence is key. Just be yourself."
After saying bye to Sasha and Maya, you closed the door behind you and took a deep breath. You were walking downstairs and Terry stood there at the bottom, clearly waiting for you.
His eyes widened, taking in every detail. You couldn't help but giggle at his look of awe. He seemed captivated by your radiant beauty, his gaze lingering on your elegant curves.
“Wow, you look beautiful,” Terry said. You smiled and looked him over, noticing he was wearing a black button-up shirt and shorts.
"Thank you. Um..you look beautif-I mean handsome!" You cursed at yourself in your mind, feeling totally embarrassed, and Terry found it cute.
"Thanks! Are you ready?" Terry asked, holding his arm out with a smile and you happily accepted.
Both of you walk leisurely down the path, arm in arm while listening to the gentle sound of waves crashing against the shore accompanies you as you make your way to the charming ocean-view restaurant that overlooks the sparkling waters.
You and Terry walk inside, and the warm glow of the intimate setting welcomes you. You find a cozy table for two awaiting your arrival. Moments later, a friendly waiter approaches, ready to take your drink orders.
While waiting, Terry struck up a conversation that flowed effortlessly. His warm smile and engaging demeanor made it easy to share about yourself. With every exchanged joke and smile, you found yourself becoming more comfortable, as if he had a talent for bringing out the best in people.
His smooth charm was evident; he made you feel special and understood, gently encouraging you to step out of your shy little shell and embrace the moment because the air between you crackled with sexual tension, growing palpable by the minute.
The waiter approached your table, balancing a tray of drinks that shimmered in the dim light. He set them down before you with a polite smile. After taking your food orders, he left you both.
Terry, his eyes sparkling, leaned in closer, a playful grin spreading across his face.
“While we wait, how about we play a game of ‘Would you rather?’” Terry proposed, the excitement in his voice making the suggestion feel inviting.
"Okay," You replied, intrigued and ready to dive into the game.
“Okay, would you rather…” Terry started, propping his chin on his hand as he contemplated the question.
“Would you rather live deep in the ocean or explore the vastness of space?”
You paused for a moment, considering the options carefully. “Hmm, that’s a tough choice. But I think I would choose space,” You finally replied.
“Mmm, interesting! What makes you lean toward space?” Terry inquired, leaning forward with curiosity.
“I have always been interested in space and astronomy. If I could, I would be an astronaut, and the experience would be exciting,” You said, taking a sip of your wine.
"Wow, I would love to learn more about that, but it's your turn," Terry said, his eyes lighting up with curiosity and a warm smile spreading across his face. The "Would You Rather" game had been going for a while and had taken a slightly naughty turn.
Before long, the waiter arrives with both of your meals, setting them down on the table with a flourish. As the delightful aromas fill the air, you take a moment to appreciate the dishes before returning to Terry.
Intrigued by the connection you two are building, you changed the subject wanting to know about Terry's interests and experiences, eager to learn more about his passions.
Terry paused mid-sentence, his gaze falling on your necklace, which had come unhooked. With a gentle smile, he leaned in close and secured the clasp.
You found yourself momentarily lost in the warmth of his touch, savoring the soft caress against your dark brown skin, a delightful contrast that sent a shiver of warmth through you.
Terry pulled away, a smirk playing on his lips, and effortlessly transitioned back into talking as if nothing had happened. You couldn't help but notice his subtle game; it was working on you like a charm.
Your desire was intense, and your craving seemed to deepen with every word he spoke. You were utterly captivated, wanting him more than ever before.
After dinner, you both walk silently side by side on the beach. Your hands nearly touch until Terry grabs yours and holds it, making you smile.
You slowly look up at him, and you find that his eyes are already fixed on you.
"What?" You asked.
"Just admiring how gorgeous you are," Terry stopped you from walking by wrapping his arms around your plump waist.
You touched his chest, thinking you both would finally kiss. But Terry was teasing you again. He lifted you slightly, catching you off guard and causing you to drop your purse and heels.
“Oh my goodness, what are you doing, Terry?” You gasped, struggling to escape his firm hold on you.
“Let’s get in the water; I bet it’s cold,” He said, trying to pull you closer.
“No, Terry!” You squealed, quickly breaking free from his grasp and running away from him with your tongue sticking out.
“Hey!” he yelled, chasing after you. When he finally caught you, he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and started tickling you.
You bounced up and down with laughter, trying to escape his grip. Just as Terry was about to say something, he accidentally tripped over something in the sand. Both of you fell together. You looked at him, and he looked at you.
You both laughed as Terry rolled off of you, pulling you onto his chest and kissing the top of your head, making your heart flutter. He eventually helped you out of the sand and retrieved your purse and heels.
Feeling a surge of confidence, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his, surprising him with the suddenness of your action. As you pulled back, a shy smile crept onto your face, and you turned your gaze to the side, feeling excitement and nervousness.
In an instant, Terry reached out, his fingers gently cupping your cheek, drawing your attention back to him. His eyes searched yours, a blend of sweetness and warmth reflected in them.
Then, without breaking his gaze, he leaned in closer, his lips brushing softly against yours as he kissed you, igniting a flutter of butterflies in your stomach.
You let out a muffled moan, feeling his hands gliding over your ass with a gentle yet teasing touch. Your breath caught in your throat, pulling away while feeling him firmly grasping it.
"Do you wanna continue this back at the villa?" Terry asked, his eyes darkened with desire as he looked down at you.
"Yes," you said, nodding firmly as you still held the gaze. Your voice remained steady, even as a whirlwind of emotions surged within you—excitement, desire, and a hint of nervousness mingled together.
-
Once stepped into the bedroom, Terry pressed you against the solid door. His lips met yours in a passionate, rough kiss, feeling an electric spark hit and made your heart race.
"I've been waiting to take this dress off you since I saw you in it," He murmured in your ear, running his hands down the bodice of your yellow dress.
"And it's just driving me wild," He whispered, which made you shiver.
"Well, take it off if you're brave enough," You spoke boldly, which made him smirk.
You gasped as he lifted you in his arms and carried you to the bed. You still couldn't get over the fact that he was so strong to pick you up, which was a turn-on for you.
He picked you down as both of you stood at the edge of the bed; he was kissing your neck, and his lips peppered on your dark-brown skin, pausing here and there to suck on the sensitive flesh.
His hand reached behind your back to find the zipper of your dress, pushing it down to your feet. You step out of it, and his hands touch your exposed breasts.
As you stood there, a wave of insecurity washed over you, causing you to shy away slightly. Just when you thought about retreating and hiding yourself, Terry stopped you. His gaze was steady and inviting, searching your eyes.
"You're beautiful, baby. Don't hide from me!" He whispers genuinely, making you feel warm inside. You kiss him as his hands grip your breasts.
You let out a soft moan, pulling away and popping his black button-up shirt open. You admired his abs and slid your fingers down his chest.
Terry shivered slightly at your touch; you had the same effect on him as he had on you. Both of you practically ripped each other's clothes. You gently laid yourself down as Terry hovered above you.
You pulled him down for another kiss as he cupped your right breast in his hand while his lips moved away from yours. His tongue dragged across the dark area of your areola.
"Such nice big tits, so good to suck," Terry growls and grabs both of your breasts with his hand, squeezing and sucking them, causing you to whimper.
"How does that feel, baby?" He asked, pulling away from sucking your nipples as his right hand traveled down to your wet folds, and circled them.
A loud moan escaped your lips, felt him push two fingers inside of you, prompting you to cover your mouth to avoid being heard by the others.
"Nah, baby girl, none of that. You have no idea how desperate I want to hear you moan for me. If you don’t let yourself make any sounds, I’ll have to find a way to draw them out."
"Yes-yes....ohhhh....It-it feels good....ahh......so good," You moaned, feeling him moved below and rested between your plump legs, glancing up at you. He spread them wide, getting a good look at your pussy.
"Mmmm, a pretty girl with a pretty pussy" He said before placing his hands on your legs and dragging his tongue between your wet folds.
"Yes....fuck....ahh fuck" You moaned, arching your back and grabbing your breasts as he repeated the action with more pressure, his tongue sliding against your bundle of nerves.
"Mmm, tastes so damn good, girl" His hands were holding your wide hips as he continued to suck and lick you dry, drawing desperate soft moans from your mouth.
Terry buried deeper between your plump legs, which was driving you crazy. The pleasure you were feeling going through your body was so overwhelming.
"Ahh fuck, Terry fucking eat this pussy, mutherfucka" You moaned, and your fingers gently caressed his head, relishing the closeness of him.
Terry chuckles. "Mmm, there you go, keep talking nasty to me, baby. I see I'm bringing the best out of you, the freak in you," He said before resuming devouring your pussy.
Another loud moan escaped your lips as the pleasure built within you, clenching around his fingers while you felt yourself getting close.
"Are you gonna cum, beautiful?" He asked, moving up to look into your eyes and began to finger fuck you fast.
"Yes, Terry, oh shit.....fuck-fuck don't stop fuck." You cried, suddenly cumming hard, eyes rolling in the back of your head.
"Yeah, that's it, baby girl. Fucking cum for Daddy," Terry said, still fingering you and then smacking your pussy as wet gushing came out of you, causing you to cry.
"Shit, look at that, baby. And I did all that with my tongue and fingers; I can't wait to see how your pussy takes my dick" He said with a chuckle, licking his fingers, and you watched him coming down from your intense high.
You kissed him, slightly tasting yourself as he cupped your breast in his hand while your hand slid down his chest to his throbbing dick; you got a good look at it and gasped at it.
"Like what you see?" Terry whispered in your ear.
"Yes, it's so big," You moaned, moving your hand up and down his length as you kissed him again but deeply. A very deep moan came from his mouth when you got a little faster.
"Fuck, girl, I need you…" Terry said with a slight moan, which made you smile. He moved on top of you and slowly entered your folds, causing you to go bananas.
You were loving the fullness of his thickness inside of you as he began thrusting, drawing soft moans from you. Terry asked, looking down at you to see if it was good, but you nodded.
"Come on, baby. Don't get shy on me again; tell me how it feels?" He asked, his hands on your waist sliding down to grasp your wide hips, pulling you closer so he could bury himself deeper.
"Yes, Terry fuck me, fuck it feels good!" You moaned, wrapping your plump legs around his waist tighter, allowing a new, delicious angle that you both liked.
Your moans became louder and more frequent as his thrusts came faster but still as gently and passionately as ever.
"That's it, girl....let everyone know i'm fucking this pussy good, You like it, you like how I am fucking you" Terry moaned while his rhythm never stopped looking down at you with so much desire and lust;
"Oh yes, Daddy fuck me, it feels so good," You cried, looking up at him as he lifted your legs to his shoulders and pounding into you faster and harder but much more profound.
"Take that fucking dick like a good girl;" Terry growled, tightening his grip on your legs.
"....fuck are you about to cum, baby?" Terry moaned, feeling the warmth of your walls, clenched around him.
"Oh....yes, fuckfuckfuck..I'm-I'm cumming-" You moaned, digging your nails deep into his arms and scratching down.
"Fucking let it go, baby."
"AHHH!!" You screamed, coming hard again and Terry wasn't too far behind, cursing, pulling out; your legs immediately fell to his waist as his hot cum spurted all over your belly, making you slightly giggle.
"Shit," Terry cursed, lowered himself, and propped up on his left arm as his head buried in your neck.
He entirely collapsed on top of you, and you wrapped your arms around him. You slid your hand up and down his sweaty back while he gave you small, lazy kisses on your face and neck.
Terry rolls off you, and both of you calm down from your high. You bite your lip and turn to prop yourself up to look at him.
"That was—" You couldn't decide what word to use. It was beyond amazing, it was...
"Mind-blowing, yeah," He agreed, looking at you and lifting himself up to kiss you.
"Up for another round in the shower?"He asked, pulling away and caressing your hip.
"Yes!" Both of you smirked at each other and got out of bed to walk to the bathroom; Terry made you cum two more times that night.
#terry richmond x black reader#terry richmond x reader#terry richmond smut#terry richmond x black!reader#terry richmond fic#terry richmond fanfiction#aaron pierre#aaron pierre x black reader#terry richmond#terry richmond x black fem reader#black!fem!reader#black fem reader#terry richmond x black! fem plus size reader#terry Richmond x plus size reader#terry richmond x fem reader
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actively fighting a full blown panic attack born out of sadness and anger after having to drive by yet another victim on the side of the road
it makes me livid how accepted it is to just let cats suffer and die disgustingly horrid deaths and live awful short lives just so what, for what?? so you dont have to play with them for an hour a day??? when i was little it was just kinda normal that they disappeared at some point, i didnt understand what it actually meant until our outdoor cat i loved dearly was found in the bushes near our house in a condition so horrible my dad has never told me and i have never dared to ask, she only made it to 6 and had horrible scars and infections before that i allowed my family to convince me to let my first own cat outside, we only had her for a year, she died at only 2 years old, i am still suffering from the guilt, it has never let me go, she went missing for a week and i walked the entire vilage up and down every day, yelling her name, wandering into the forest alone, talking to every stranger i met until one morning my mom told me that our neighbour who works for the city asked if we had a white cat with a very specific collar she had- he found her on a busy road crossing in the next bigger city, i never even got to bury her, its haunting me, the thought of her wandering lost and scared in the city for a week until meeting an awful end gives me headaches, the fact that i was the last one to see her alive, that i put her outside bc we were late for school and had to leave quickly, that she had come home with oil in her fur from crawling through maschines and cars before, that i was worried but still didnt act, that it is my fault, any time i am up to late its coming back, it will never let me go, if i had stood my ground and not allow her outside unless on a leash or similar shed still be alive today, any time i read a description at our local shelter it comes back, they still advocate for outside cats, all of them, even if they have only been an indoor one before, its madness my older sister had a cat, i dont even know how old he got but it wasnt long either, he got hit by a car in front of their house, she has two now again and the only reason she hasnt let them outside is because they havent shown much interest in it, i tried to warn her before and she didnt listen and shes still resistent, even after losing one too
i have seen so many on the side of the road, anywhere i drive i see them, i cannot forget a single one, we are surrounded by farm land and all its giant maschinery, its still common to poison rodents, why do people value them so little, you wouldnt let your dog just live outside in the woods and streets for half the day or more, you wouldnt just throw your guniea pigs on the road and tell them have fun, you wouldnt just let your bird roam outside, there probably assholes that do that too but you cannot tell me its as common as outside cats
i dont understand it, i dont, i wont, i never will, i will never forgive myself this poor little animal that was my responsibility having to pay the price of my ignorance, or my own weakness letting my family convince me despite the awful way we lost one before, it makes me want to explode it hurts my brain in grief and anger i can barely contain
cats deserve to live a safe and long life, i get only having them inside may feel like you are locking them up, but do you think that not doing so is worth having them die a painful death? being poisonend? on purpose even by disgusting people that hate them? abused and chased by other animals and dogs? hurt and lost? cutting their lifespan in half? if they even make it that far? the amount of wildlife that they kill unnecessarily so when all of that is already in a steep decline everywhere? and if they eat what they hunt get infected with diseases or again, poison? die somewhere in agony? if cared for they dont care about going outside, plenty can be leash trained or given a secure way to roam like those cat proof aviary like things, if you dont want to put effort into caring for a cat DONT GET ONE, ALL pets require adequate care, and if you think cats are the easiest bc you only have to feed them every now and then IF they come home? you suck, you are an asshole, i hate you and you do not care about them, if you just want to occasionalyl feed and pet an animal go to the petting zoo
(this is about pet cats of people who can absolutely afford to keep them healthily inside, i know feral cats and those in poor neighbourhoods are a thing, even if not here where i live, and thats a whole other but still similar problem and not the point of this post)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#tw pet death#tw cat death#i hate everything so much and my day is ruined#sorry to come at you with this but its just#the grief and anger i feel for these poor things is more than their owners ever will feel im sure#just getting another one like its a consumable piece of candy#its so common here i hate it#why are people so insistent on it#the fact that the shelter here too advocates for outdoor cats in every cats description makes me twice as mad#do you actually care for them or do you hope they die quickly so people get one more frquently or what#i thought about writing them but i have had both of my cats from there and i am afraid they would not take it well#i dont know how to approach trying to make a change in this case#(my current cat is indoor only obviously and shes about 10 now- which is the oldest of any cats i have known has gotten)#this is germany specific btw ... if theres anyone that knows an organization trying to change this pls let me know
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Salute to a Brief, Precious Companion
I just came home from the vet. If you missed the notice on Friday, Rocky has been euthanized due to failing health. I'm a little bit of a mess right now, so apologies if this post isn't coherent or it's overly-emotional. I just feel I should pay my respects and tell you all Rocky's story. Be prepared. This is a long one.
This was Rocky. Nicknames included Wocky, Rocky-Pocky, Rockadocious, and Little Man. He was an incredibly sweet and incredibly skinny critter who somehow even Jupiter outsized. I only had him for 7 or 8 months, but what lovely months they were.
Rocky came to me from a horrible situation - someone who is technically part of the family (and do I dearly wish they weren't) is one of the worst pet owners I've ever seen in my life, and he regrettably had Rocky for over 10 years. That is, 10 years trapped in a single room with a connected bathroom where his rarely-cleaned litterbox (singular, shared with multiple cats) was located. He didn't have anything: no comfort, no entertainment, pellets that could barely pass for cat food, and no attention. This was supposedly to save him from a dog that had a habit of killing every small animal it came across, but once that dog died, as did Rocky's companions, he still wasn't allowed out of that room because the idiot didn't want cat fur all over his furniture. Mind you, his dishes in the pantries had dust all over them, if that tells you how he lives his life.
Anyway, a relative of his called me and begged me to take Rocky, being unable to stand his solitude and wails for affection any time she went to that house. I wasn't looking for another cat at the time, but I agreed, on the condition that the former owner pay for the initial vet visits and whatever treatments were needed. Rocky was very visibly unwell when I saw him - underweight, crooked-backed and smelling of sickness. I never had a high opinion of his owner in the first place, but as time went on and I saw the effects of Rocky's ailments and the consequences of him never seeing a vet in those 10 years... well. If murder was legal.
Rocky's first 2 weeks in my house were disastrous. He attacked Moses, Jupiter and Moonshine any time he saw them, had no idea that he wasn't allowed to just pee wherever he wanted, and was frightened and confused by toys. It took several months for him to understand the concept of batting a ball around for fun, and he never did fully get that sleeping on a soft pile of blankets is much nicer than a hard table. I was extremely close to seeking out another home for him, certain that this wasn't going to work and I had just ruined the energy of the house for my other poor cats.
But somehow, Rocky turned around! He realized the other cats weren't a threat to him (all three of them are excellent at handling tense situations with fellow felines, and they never struck back or hissed at him during his rampage), and started seeking them out for companionship. Of course, it had been a few years since he'd seen another living cat, and he'd kind of ruined his initial impression on them with his poor behavior, so it took a while for them to fully relax around him. He and Jupiter very quickly were forced to become friends as both of them wanted on my lap at all times and weren't willing to give up their seat to each other. They eventually sought each other out and would sleep together even without me being there.
Rocky practiced being friendly on Jupiter, including grooming him. Amusingly, Rocky didn't quite remember how to groom another cat, so he ended up licking the fur the wrong way and getting Jupiter all slobbery, like a dog had licked his head. Jupiter never minded, purring along and letting Rocky do his thing.
Moonshine was more hesitant to let Rocky sit on her or curl up by her, but Moonshine's never held a grudge in her life and conceded towards the latter third of our time with him.
Moses...
Well, y'all know Moses. He was just as grumpy with this other old man as he is with everyone else. Though interestingly, over this weekend, he was unusually kind to Rocky, and actively laid down next to him and let Rocky touch him.
In fact, everyone was extra nice this weekend. I suspect they knew something was up from my energy and mood. They were sticking close to me as well.
As Rocky got more comfortable in the house, he really showed his personality. He followed me around everywhere, couldn't force out a loud meow if his life depended on it, wanted on my lap at all times (making up for a decade of loneliness, I guess), and demonstrated a sweetness and cheerfulness that couldn't be beat. He was, by far, the best at taking medicine that I have ever experienced with a pet. He would swallow his pills with no struggle and allowed me to give him shots of vitamins without so much as a twitch. It's extra-impressive for how long he went without those things. Really, his only fault was that he would have accidents around the house - everything else about him was wonderful.
I knew he was a hospice case when I took him in. He was sick and old; he wasn't long for this world, whatever I did. I still feel like I failed him for only giving him half a year of a comfortable, happy life compared to the decade of misery he experienced. Everyone tells me that it's quality over quantity, and that he got to live a wonderful last bit, and I should be proud of that. I hear them. But my friends can attest that I've spent the last two weeks kicking a tantrum about how unfair it is that he didn't get more time with me. I won't pretend I'm the very best pet owner in the whole wide world, but god knows I'm at least better than his previous owner, and I provided everything I had, whatever it costed. I felt like I owed Rocky at least a year of joy and love, and he didn't even get that. It's not fair. It's just not fair.
It's amazing how attached you can get to an animal you know will die soon.
Rocky's ashes will be coming to me in a couple weeks. He'll join the rest of my pets on my desk, and that way he'll stay with me. I'm grateful that he got to fall asleep in my arms and that his pain and weakness is over. Wherever he is, he's comfortable.
I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you, Rocky. You deserved the world.
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“Bro, she’s a bitch. Don’t listen to her.”
You scoff with a smile at hearing Jimin’s words. “Girl, that lady is my grandma. My mom sucks up to her very badly so, I kind of have to listen to her even though I want to punch the shit out of her.”
“Your grandma can kiss my ass,” Jimin harshly said as he dyed his hair a new color. He inspected his hair in the mirror as he kissed his teeth, making sure he wasn’t missing any spots. “I’ll tell her the truth. I’ll tell her, straight up, that if she causes you any trouble or any problem, she will see my fist coming to her wrinkly face before she could even blink.”
You smiled at hearing your best friend’s words of reassurance, glancing down at the dog you were walking.
“You truly would beat up a bitch for me, huh?” You teased, raising a hand as a thanks to a driver who stopped for you. You continued walking down the neighborhood.
“For you, always,” Jimin said without hesitation. “Also, where are you? I hear cars driving by.”
“Remember I’m walking Taehyung’s dog because he’s working?” Jimin let out a small ‘oh’ at your response. “Yeah, that man needs to find someone. He’s always working or staying home with this cutie.”
“I tried but the last girl said he was a red flag so, I’m just letting fate deal with it,” Jimin muttered, loud enough for you to hear what he was saying. “After all, he’s always cooking something, so I don’t mind him being single since we get fed.”
“You’re so right,” you gasped out. “Ugh, he needs to make the steak again.”
“Yes!” Jimin gasped next. “I’ll text him in the group chat.”
“Okay you do- Oh, shit!” You softly exclaimed to yourself as you tripped. You panicked, though, once you came to feel Yeontan’s leash gone from your hand. You stayed quiet, looking around, before gulping “Jimin?” You call out. He hummed. “Uh… Uh, I accidentally let go of Yeontan’s leash.”
“Oh, my God,” you heard him breathe out. “How? You were just walking him right now!”
“I tripped!” You exclaimed, your hands beginning to shake and your body heating up with worry.
“I’m heading your way. You know how much Taehyung worships that dog.”
You didn’t even process his words or him hanging up, but you looked around rapidly, hoping to catch a glimpse of the dog’s fur.
Once you saw him, you ran to him.
You thank whatever God out there that you weren’t near any traffic or that there weren’t any cars near you because if something happened to Yeontan… Taehyung would definitely kill you. He would kill you and Jimin if he had to if it meant saving Yeontan’s life. You wouldn’t blame him. You loved the dog, too, and would kill for him.
You searched every bush and yard that was in your way for anything, but Yeontan was nowhere to be seen.
Tears began blurring your eyesight at the panic because what if he got hurt? Oh, God. You can’t even imagine. No, he’s not hurt. Yeontan may be slow but he was very smart. He knew when to cross and knew when to stop if he saw a car coming.
Hopefully he’ll be okay. You’ll keep searching in the meantime.
Jungkook was on his motorcycle on the side of the street when he spotted a furry thing peeing on a bush out of the corner of his eye.
Well, he thinks he sees it because when he turns back to see if he saw right, there was nothing there.
Frowning, he took off his helmet and stood up from his motorcycle. He quickly turned it off and walked off towards where he thought he last saw the dog. He moved his backpack to the side to grab the dog treats he had just bought for his dog, Bam, making sure he had something to persuade the dog just in case it was lost and he needed to grab it.
He smiled in relief as he spotted a small furry animal sniffing around. Thankfully, he wasn’t going crazy, but it confirmed his worst fears that the dog was lost due to its leash still attached to him.
“Pss,” Jungkook softly hissed out, attracting the attention of the dog. Yeontan turned to look at him and was about to run away had he not spotted the treat in Jungkook’s hand. “Come here, bud. Want a treat?”
The dog clearly loved his treats because he came running to Jungkook at full speed, his tail wagging in the air very happily. Jungkook chuckled and grabbed the dog, feeding him the dog treat, before taking him with him to his motorcycle.
He sat down and because he did not like to ride his motorcycle with a dog that wasn’t his, he sat there and caught the attention of Yeontan.
“Let me see your collar, bud,” he said in a soft voice, grabbing the little tag that was attached to his collar. He eyed the name. “Yeontan… pretty name for you.”
Yeontan barked with his tongue sticking out, panting, clearly appreciating the compliment due to the fact he started licking Jungkook’s hand.
Jungkook read the information.
“If lost, call my dad, Taehyung…”
Jungkook took out his phone with the hand that wasn’t holding Yeontan and typed in Taehyung’s number. Though, before he could call, he spotted a woman running around in the distance yelling Yeontan’s name. He hummed under his breath.
Yeontan perked up at your voice and looked around, hoping to see you.
You were on the brink of calling Taehyung to tell him the bad news when a whistle catches your attention.
Thinking it was some perv driving by trying to catch your attention, you ignore it. You began to let out small dry sobs and you wished no one would pop up to see you ugly crying.
Another whistle.
Overstimulated, you immediately turned around to yell at the person yelling. Your mouth was opened, ready to spew out curses, before spotting a man with a leather jacket holding Yeontan on his lap while he sat on his motorcycle.
You gasp. “Yeontan!” You immediately headed towards the man, your arms picking up the small furry animal who started licking your face. You held him tight. “I’m so fucking mad at you. Your dad would’ve killed me, you know that? I would’ve never been able to feed you underneath the table and then who would feed you, hmm? I’m so mad at you.”
Nuzzling your face against his fur, your eyes opened as you remembered that you weren’t entirely alone. There was another person there, watching you.
You came face to face with a man, a small amused smile on his lips. Your body heated up with embarrassment at the thought of your panicked expression and how you were just talking to Yeontan.
“Oh, hello,” you said with a small sniff. You wiped your tears away with the sleeve of your sweater. “Thank you so much for holding onto him.”
“I saw him running so I figured you’d need a hand,” the stranger said, watching the dog lick your chin. He arched a brow before clearing his throat. “Is he your dog?”
You shook your head and looked back up to look at him. Really look at him. He was handsome, yeah, but nothing compared to your boyfriend, who hasn’t texted you good morning yet, by the way, now that you think about it.
“No, he’s my friend’s dog,” you replied. You glanced between him and the dog, bowing your head. “Thank you again. You saved my life. If he had gotten hurt, I would not be standing in front of you.”
The man chuckled. “How did he even get loose?” You groaned and placed your forehead on top of Yeontan’s head. “That embarrassing, huh?”
“I fucking tripped,” you sheepishly said, scratching the dog. Though you were upset at him for having you panicking and running around—even if it was your fault—the dog was too cute for you to stay mad at for too long. “I learned my lesson not to talk on the phone while walking him.”
Jungkook snorted. “Ah, don’t worry. That happened to me once, too, so don’t blame yourself too hard.” He smiled and pet the dog in your arms. “Are you far from your destination?”
“No,” you nodded. You could see he was worried about leaving you there after that incident, especially since you were still shaking from the adrenaline. “I’m good though. I’m, like, 5 minutes away.”
Humming, he nodded with you. “Okay, then. That makes me feel better, I was worried that you might’ve lived far—” He stops mid-conversation and looks at you. “You look familiar by the way.”
“Do I?” You frown.
“You live by the Diamond Apartment Complex?” He asked, his helmet in his hands as he was about to put it on.
You debated whether to tell him or not considering he was a man and you didn’t know him. But, he must live there, too, so you hummed.
“Yeah, why?” Though, you put the pieces together once you noted his motorcycle and his words. “Don’t tell me you live in 36B.”
“And you live in 35B,” he scoffed. You could see the corner of his lip, where his lip ring was, tilted up in an amused smile. “You’re the girl who is always yelling.”
“And you’re the jerk who revs his motorcycle so early in the morning,” you retorted back. “I’ve actually been meaning to speak to you.”
“Mmm, to tell me how annoying my motorcycle is and that I have a small dick?” He raised a brow in almost a challenging way. You gaped at him. “I heard your conversation on the phone yesterday with your boyfriend. The walls are thin.”
“Oh, my God,” you breathed out embarrassedly.
“Nice to know my dick size resides in your mind,” he said with a low chuckle escaping his lips. He put on his helmet. “Tell your boyfriend he should fuck you better if that’s what you think of 24/7.”
“I-” you simply said. “Leave my love life out of this. You shouldn’t be talking when you can’t even make your girlfriend moan.”
A smirk grew on his face behind his helmet. “Tell your boyfriend to stop making you fake your moans, then.”
“I never fake it. Maybe you’re pissed off about me admitting you have a small dick because it’s true and you haven’t felt the touch of your girlfriend in months.”
He looked at you and you knew he was because you could feel his stare burning your body despite his visor blocking his face.
He simply hummed.
“Watch out tonight.”
“Did you just threaten me?” You let out a small scoff while you look at him, moving aside towards the sidewalk.
“Oh, not you,” he said. “Just going to let you know, you won’t be sleeping at all.” He started his motorcycle. “You want to say all that shit, then I’ll prove you wrong.”
You snorted and slowly nodded before walking away. You placed one last kiss on Yeontan's head.
“What an idiot.”
2U⭑.ᐟ ── OOO. met a biker guy
BEFORE ⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆ AFTER
NOTE: hehe only doing this because it seemed interesting so i hope you guys love it!
TAGLIST: @an-ever-angry-bi @parapiop7 @renoirgoh @ldysmfrst @futuristicenemychaos … (open)
#── .✦ 2u!#jungkook#jungkook imagine#jungkook smau#jungkook fake texts#jungkook bts#jeon jungkook#🫧 jungkook#bts jungkook#bts smau
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i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again
sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now
Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.
And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.
and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.
no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.
and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.
im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.
and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently
in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.
there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.
no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.
#you know it's funny#i still feel this way but the moment i wrote this#on tiktok one of my friends that was there for most of my times followed my secret tiktok account and#the friend that i lost last year checked my account and#i hope she fucking knows how much that means to me#because i always felt like she hstes me but i still deeply feel she cares abf me and silently looks out for me and i feel so sorry#bc in the past 4 days she has checked my account multiple times and idk man#i truly feel like she sees that im struggling i appreciate it a lot#but i could never tell her that because what if im wrong and also#i dont fit in that friendship anymore#but im still really greatful#for checking up on me even like this#*most of my life#noticed a typo#idk anyways i just really needed to scream this into the void. I didn't want to be so sad today. i just scrolled instagram to numb myself#all day. but i got off my phone it was terrible. idk. i feel im not sure i can get my shit together by monday#im sick of having to fall apart and build myself up every fucking day man. and each day i literally wake up telling myself affirmations#trying to convince myself that its oka#it will be okay at least when u are home at night. wait for that moment everyday but. im tired of waiting for night to be happy man.#i have 30 mins to either post that fuckin video and make a fool of myself bc i told myself i need to post it on the 19th. but idk man. Im#terrified it will only disappoint me. people will make fun of me. idk man. its not that funny is it. or is it? how pathetic i am for clingi#g to the only hope in my life like a fucking abandoned dog man. but what can i do. i dont want to depend on you so much. but then who shoul#i depend on? if i depend on myself im just gonna kill myself man.idk. my grief is getting worse day by day. i still practice guitar everyda#hoping that maybe you will come back or something will come back. maybe mywill to live will come back? maybe the Instrument will play a not#that I can depend on? i dont really know what im looking for thats the worst. living is uncomfortable and dark. even when im smiling with m#friends i feel lost.there's something i feel like they know and i dont. when they could name their favorite colors in kindergarten i alread#knew something was different abt me.its really isolating.not having a clue of who am i.i keep saying im finding myself more and more but tb#i still in a way like im always wearing a costume. i wonder how naked id have to be to find myself. sorry for word vomitting.it maybe helps#anyways acchan i miss you.this world feels really stale without you.i wish I could truly show how much I love you with my words or life but#i dont really think it makes a difference.my voice really doesnt matter that much in the end.maybe im too much
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i think maybe there’s a bit of misery swirling around in me
#bella.txt#like.. idk no one i talk to here besides classmates who r younger than me and i don’t spend time w/ them outside of class#and like in my head i’m like ‘i wanna go home’ but then j go home and my loved ones r all spread out#i either see my parents + hazel but im isolated from everyone else#or i go where i can see my friends and do more but i have to be in my sister’s space which is suffocating 😭#um not to mention my childhood dog is dead and i feel her absence all over again when i think abt going home#i hate to be overly dramatic but i rly miss her i can’t believe such a big piece of my life is gone forever#like we got her ashes back while i was home and i was just holding the box like. wtf do u mean my babygirl is in here.#i just UGHHHH i feel weird and impermanent rn. i don’t have a place i belong
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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When I was a child I was obsessed with cats after reading warriors and the only thing I wanted in the universe was a cat. My mother wouldn't allow it because she was a. Allergic (valid) b. An animal disliker (not valid) so to prove to her that I would be a responsible cat owner I did so much research and studied cats obsessively, I even drew diagrams of cat anatomy and different systems I would implement around the house to prove I would be a responsible cat owner. I was so dedicated to the feline agenda
I don't know why she never caved and at least got us a hamster or something. I would constantly beg her for a pet, like I would have been happy with any kind of animal even a fish. Unfortunately I was an animal-obsessed child born to an animal averse mother lol. When my brother and I trapped insects she would say in Spanglish "Este es tu pet!" (This is your pet) 😭 and that fills me with rage to this day lmao
To cope I pretended the various animals around the house like a fox or a hedgehog we saw in the garden were my pets. We even had a rat infestation when we lived in London and I considered them my pets, penning my first book entitled "My Rat" which I think my dad still has. I was obsessed with any kind of pet simulator like Nintendogs or neopets or tamagotchis. I think she was worried she'd be saddled with all the responsibility after I got bored which I can understand but also I was so dedicated to my imaginary pets for so many years that I don't think that would have been the case.
#we got our first fish when I was in my late teens like I had already been on tumblr for years I named it after a game of thrones character#then a dog (the love of my life i miss her) when i was out if high school and my parents were separating#when we moved to the US my parents promised me a dog so i would go quietly lol. but that never happened#until they separated and my dad was like ok now i can fulfill that promise#i still have never owned a cat. and I'm allergic too 😓 but I will some day#I know some people dislike animals but it fully does not fit in my head as an idea like I don't understand how you can dislike animals#oh and i didn't have webkinz because she would never have bought them for me yearly lol i couldn't bare the thought of it 'dying'#i cried when my first tamagotchi died and when my neopet got sick from a rotten omelette lol
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RATS are NOT your friends at night while you're reading a scary book
#so if you didnt know. rats are nocturnal#so its 2am where i am rn. my room is pitch dark because i have my blinds shut#and im reading a scary book. lots of spooky creatures and body horror and haunted shit#and my rats. are knocking shit over and chewing on things and generally being menaces#or theyll go silent for a minute abd i think theyre chilling and then all of a sudden theyll drop a toy or something#and scare the shit out of me#they use their spooky little hands to climb on the bars of their cage. and they use their spooky little teeth to aggressively eat kibble#and i gave them new toys today. these edible foraging toys that they love#but that means my room is full of the sound of pulling on bars. or the clicking of a water bottle. or chewing. so muvh chewing#and im reading about this dead body come back to life. with like all of her bones broken. killing a guy in the most grotesque way#and its altogether a very bad experience#i was bored for the first 70ish pages but then it got really fucking good and im hooked. but its also terrifying#the rats have gone silent but now my dog is shifting in his kennel outside my room#both are terrifying. why are my rats silent. why is my dog moving. when will he move next#these animals are harassing me. whats next. my sibling's rabbit is going to break in? in roommate's cat will start scratching at the door?#if my landlord is reading this then ignore all of these tags. we only have a dog sir. no rodents or felines or whatever tf a rabbit is here#ah the rats are making sounds again. terrible horrifying sounds#i have to piss but im scared to get out of bed. i think i live here now. in bed. i cant leave#on a somewhat related note i really want to make deviled eggs rn but i have roommates that are trying to sleep#on one hand i miss living alone. on the other it makes me feel safer to have two other people here with me#even if the threat is only my imagination#and my mischievous critters
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not having any friends is truly heartbreaking
#i have no one to confide in or just simply hang out with#there's this concert i really wanted to attend but i have no one to go with and tickets are already sold out anyways#but the point is not having friends stops me from having fun experiences#sure you could argue that i could have fun experiences by myself but it's still not the same if you can't share it with someone#i went on a solo trip this summer and while it was liberating & enjoyable it was also incredibly lonely#i also went to a festival by myself & unfortunately it was horrible bc i got nauseous & it was scary being all alone#thankfully i got back to my hotel safely in the middle of the night but i definitely would've felt better & safer if i wasn't alone#i feel like i'm missing out on a lot of things bc i don't have friends & it's just so alienating bc i think smth is fundamentally wrong..#.. with me bc i don't have a single genuine friend while others have whole friend groups#this also makes me miss my ex best friend even more & i'm contemplating reaching out to her again...#i feel like a beaten dog that always comes back around no matter how badly i was treated bc i just want some love 😔 💔#like i was the one who ended things with my ex best friend bc i was tired of being treated like a doormat & constantly having my..#.. boundaries disrespected but now i'd rather have that back then have no friends at all which is awful i know 😭#my ex best friend also isn't a bad person but she hurt me a lot & at the end when things got really bad i think we were both not good for..#each other.. but now i'm reminiscing about all the wonderful things we experienced together & i miss it so much :(#we had so many things in common we went to so many concerts together & had so much fun & now i'm all by myself all the time 😔#the thing is also she was always a social butterfly & has many friends so i doubt she even misses me#i still didn't delete her from my contacts & i recently saw she finally fulfilled her dream of going to america#i feel like she is living her best life & i'm just here being miserable & lonely nothing has really improved for me#i wouldn't even be surprised if she's going to that concert i wanted to attend bc it's one of her favorite artists as well#i just feel so unlovable and alone in this world... i wish i could restart my whole life or disappear altogether tbh#sorry for the negativity if anyone reads this i'm just really upset..#i should stop making myself even more depressed i'm supposed to be studying anyways..#and tonight i'm attending our company's christmas party i hope i'll at least have a little fun there..#☁️
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We've officially reached the 'too demotivated and drained to bother to go to class' part of the semester. Awesome
#if it wasn't for the strike I'd just go home on tuesday morning#because i don't want to miss too many korean sessions because we can't be absent more often than 4 times#but i don't plan on going to my monday and tuesday classes#and thursday is a holiday so that class is canceled and i am willing to miss wednesday's korean class if it means getting to#see my dog a day earlier#but alas i cannot#because no trains and shit#also my friend asked me if i wanted to join for drinks sometime this week(end) and i desperately need new friends#(i.e. i don't want to turn down invitations from people i don't hang out with often because i basically am getting#actively excluded from my other friends' activities (literally. if you don't want me around it's literally fine. just don't fucking act#like you do. i hate it here lmao)#no but that friend was like 'I'll always invite you' and damn i LOVE to hear it because the others apparently hate having me around#(again. fair enough. I'm not particularly outgoing or fun so i get it. i just don't want to make any effort there anymore so i kinda need#to make an effort with other people? because i really like her and all but i also don't feel like going out#and would much rather go home see my dogs- but if i turn down too many invitations she'll stop inviting me#which is only logical- idk i don't really want to have to have friends anymore#i just know life is better when i spend time with people sometimes and have someone to get through university hell with#anyway. i don't wanna go to class anymore and i really don't wanna do this degree anymore and i actually do not#want to go to korea but i have to because it's my only chance but it makes me want to kill myself but also not doing it would make me want#to kill myself so i don't really have anything going for me there#void screams
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rewatching nature i dont want to make one billion posts abt it so heres alllllll my nature thoughts as we go lets go wheeeeeee
#orels 'thats it?' like hes realising there WAS no real point to this other than pure punishment. like he didnt even really learn anything#i realised this earlier but i love all the stuffed animals in clays study. making up for that missed hunting trip i see#the bit of clay going to hand the gun to orel and then pulling away again to gesture some more is really funny#oh my godddddd theres so much more even bewtween grounded and this. I NEED TO WATCH THR CHRONOLOGICAL CUTTTTTT#the number of times clay references either being a MAN or calls orel a girl in this. i seeeeee#IDK WHAT THE BIRD IS i know the bird is Something. it was in another ep but i forget which#i think it was the prequel ep. maybe. sorry man im not smart enough to figure that out#ok theh cup holder on the rifle is crazy funny#eating the dog is crazyyyy i feel like it cld have gotten the point across w eating the deer butttt#idk i guess it crosses that line to make clay seem even more repulsive here. so it works#but also insane seeing the fucking. DOG in the bg of the argument etc#WHY IS HE EATING THE PAWWWWW LMAOOOO. the worst part ever#eurrghhh the way clay antagonises orel over the food. dud u do not have tp one up ur child. seriously#OOUUUAHHHHHH the way orels glare breaks when clay insults him.... blarrrghhhh#stealing this from a comment but how clay says 'look on the blight side' and 'my life is sunny and blight'#cus like technically he HAS a 'good' life. married w kids and a good job. but he cant get any joy out of it and refuses to see the positive#u know. even if he doesnt love bloberta if he tried they cld still get along. and he has a reallyyy sweet kid who adored him#he cld have used his position to make a positive impact#but he doesnt. he runs and he hides and he pushes everyone away#orel tearing up at hearing clay say he hates himself is sooooooo fucking real man. it hurts#been there one billion million times. so painful#interesting how clay extends his hatred for bloberta to Every Woman Ever.#wonder if he had any relationships before her and how they turned out. badly id imagine#he says that marriage isnt for him but its kinda unclear if thats bc hes had a terrible history w love or hes just not interested#not sure if u cld say it extends to his own mother or not.#i guess u cld say that over the yrs his guilt twisted into hating her in some way. maybe for spoiling him so much#like in relation to his comments abt like. making him feel better and then choking him. and weights around his neck#the first is obvs abt the alcohol and the second bloberta#and also vice versa it kinda goes both ways#but i do wonder if he does still feel guilt abt what happened. hes sshown to be deeply affected by his fathers abuse still so hmmm
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i cant believe there will be a day that it will be the last time i see someone and i wont know ituntil theyre gone
#past modnight#i miss mygrandma and my moms dog and im going to miss my dog when shes gone and i am foing to miss my current friends#one day my friend will stop sending me stupid reels one day my friend will be in myblife for the last time#one day I will forget some of their names and faces and how close i was and how we used to love each other until we grew apart bc growingbu#and my dog is going to die in a few years and shes snoring beside my bed rifjt now and i dont want her gone#and my sister wikl have to grieve the loss of our family woth me#and iam the eldest of my generation in my family and idk anything ab our traditions and i alr feel horrible#its like theyre gong to die out with me how will my kids know my nieces my nephews they wont get to know my family#and ill forget all about my current interests and one day stumble across a reminder and think about how i used to like it but be unable to#recall anythng ab it bc itll have been so long that i moved on with my life and imnso sad already i miss thr ppl who havent left my lfie ye#post#maes tag#to delete#i was listening to black dog by ts and died on this post
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My nana maternal grandmother who taught me swears had one of the most ridiculous pet names for her cat when I was growing up. For reasons known only to her, she simply called the cat: Kitty Kitty Meow Meow. The creature in question was an absolute love bug and lived to be almost twenty.
When I was dating my last boyfriend Brendan we ended up living with his mom briefly before we moved up north together, and his sister lived at home too. One day I was sitting in the kitchen and heard Brendan call teasingly to his sister, “Okay, Miss Kitty Kitty Meow Meow!”
His sister laughed but my head shot up. “What did you just say?”
Brendan ambled over to me, “Oh, it’s an old inside joke. There was this one day I was riding the bus to Charlie’s house and I heard this girl on the bus say her grandma’s cat was named Kitty Kitty Meow Meow. It was so stupid I rushed home to tell my sister. It’s like naming a dog Doggy Doggy Bark Bark.” He was hysterically giggling just relating this story.
I stared at him.
I said, “Charlie and I were on the same bus route.”
He blinked, his giggles tapering down and slowly started to frown.
“That girl was me. That is the name of my nana’s cat.”
It turned out that while Brendan, a year younger than me, had never met me before we both graduated high school, he had apparently sat behind me once on the bus and turned a brief snippet of my life into a meme with his sister. Then a decade later we met through Charlie in college and went on to date. We were both flabbergasted by this coincidence.
But there was one more twist in store for me. I told my family about the way our paths had crossed before we ever dated and they thought it was hilarious.
Then a few weeks later I got a frantic call from my parents while they were in California visiting my paternal grandmother.
“Hey guys, what’s going on?”
There was weird excited static and thumps as the phone passed around and I heard my dad in the background urging my grandma, “Tell her!”
My grandma said ponderously, “You know my cats name is Kiki.”
“Of course, it’s a really cute name.”
“Your dad wants me to tell you the full thing.”
My eyes widened. I could not believe what was about to happen to me but I knew it was coming.
“Her name is Ki-Ki Meow Meow.”
I got it on both sides. Both my grandmas, in different states, with no contact, had named their cats the same silly ridiculous thing. I immediately ran to tell Brendan who laughed so hard he almost threw up.
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So I mentioned this in the tags of something random today but I think maybe it would help to make its own post. I feel like I don’t want to talk too much about it in real life or to anyone I know, because I’m a little superstitious and so because there’s nothing to be done, talking about it would just make it more real when there’s nothing to really be gained by doing so
My little dog, Cosmo, has a tumor. We don’t know if it’s cancer or not, because getting it tested would be an expense, and it wouldn’t change the treatment; he’s sixteen years old, so an intense surgery of any kind is not recommended.
He went into the vet about a month or two back because he wasn’t putting one of his back paws on the ground. He had knee surgery on that knee when he was five, and it lasted him really well for ten years, but when his vision went all the way out two or three years ago he stopped being able to do any stairs, and the vet said retroactively that not using the knee as much or in its full range of motion was probably what allowed it to degrade, and it’s basically fucked now.
So when they did an x-ray of his knee, they also did an x-ray of his chest, because for we’re not sure how long, maybe a year or so? He will occasionally do this weird hacking/gagging noise. And they found out he has a large tumor in his chest that’s started to press up against his trachea.
It doesn’t seem to be impeding his quality of life right now. And there was a scary week or two when he was adjusting to his new pain meds for his knee, and especially the day or two after the x-ray when he was still groggy from the anesthetic, when he didn’t want to eat much and he needed someone to go outside with him every time, because it’s his back leg, and so he would kind of just tip over when he tried to squat down to poop. But he can do it all on his own now, and we still carry him all the way out to the yard but he’s started finding his way up the ramp (my dad and I built a little ramp for him leading up to the porch a couple of summers ago when he couldn’t see to do the back stairs anymore) all on his own again to wait by the back door to come back inside. He’s really himself again and he’s such a good boy and he’s really doing so so well.
He’s loved that it’s getting warmer. I’ve started working from home on Mondays since that’s the day my mom has to go into her office and there wouldn’t be someone around to keep an eye on him and let him out during the day and things, and the last two or three weeks I will let him out and go check on him two hours later and find him fast asleep in some sunny corner of the yard. He’s so silly and so sweet and I love him absolutely to pieces. When we got him he was two and I was ten and I used to read in my room and look up and see just a little bit of fur peeking under my door because he had decided to just lay down right there and wait for me to let him in. He’s my best friend.
And he’s doing really well! But there’s this knowledge for all of us that like. The end is in sight. Which is just terrible. He’s the love of my life and such a good sweet boy and a good dog and he loves us so much and we love him so much. And we just don’t know. Do we have a year? Is that overly optimistic? Is that not optimistic enough? Every time he doesn’t feel like eating all of his food (which is unusual for him, he’s always been pretty food-motivated) I wonder if it’s his medicine or if he’s just tired or if it’s because he doesn’t want to swallow anything or if he’s in some other kind of pain.
He’s doing really well. We’re doing really well we’re just taking things as they come.
(Video ID: a slightly shaggy Yorkie asleep in a dog bed under a kitchen table, in a beam of sunshine)
#sometimes in rougher moments I think that maybe Ella can take care of him when I can’t anymore.#and Cosmo can look out for her the way he always looks out for us#and then I just cry because I miss Ella#she loved him though. and he loved her even before she knew she was Ella and he was still wary of men he knew and he loved her#and maybe they can take care of each other for me in the meantime#I mean Ella’s own childhood dog also passed a few years back but in real life she would’ve looked after Cosmo for a bit if I asked her to#oh it sounds like he is eating the rest of his dinner now that he’s back inside again#he’s my puppy love#last time my parents and our other dog were out of town visiting my sister we went through a whole routine figuring out why he was antsy#when I was hanging out in the kitchen with him the first night#and it turned out that what he wanted was for me to go downstairs for tv time (where the family usually goes after dinner) where I guess I#would be safe. and for him to stay upstairs in the kitchen where he could take his nap but with his ears perked up like always in case there#was any danger to protect me from#we tried every combination of the two of us in the kitchen and basement and that’s the one he wanted#he’s such a sweetheart I am in love with this little dog#I don’t know what I’ll do without him
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⠀ 𝝑𝑒 ⠀⠀ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. you show your husband some affection, thinking you two were alone - only to be interrupted by your son.
tags. dad!toji fushiguro x wife!female reader. fluff, suggestive. mentions of toji developing / having a dad bod. & reader having a mom bod. reader gets called ‘princess, mama (by gumi)’. baby gumi waking up bcs of a nightmare. excuse me - not beta read bcs i was half asleep when writing this rt_t
“tooooji,” you smile as you enter the kitchen. you’ve put megumi to bed - finally - and have the chance to spend some one-on-one time with your dear husband. both of you deserve the rest after a hard day of work.
toji has been putting the dishes back in their designated spots whilst you were away. the dark-haired man turns his head to the side once he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist. a small grin tugs at his lips, “missed me, princess?”
you roll your eyes. even if years have passed since your marriage, toji has not stopped using that specific nickname for you. he loves calling you ‘princess’, because that’s what you’ll always be to him. in his eyes, at least.
“mhm,” you decide to indulge him. you bury your face into his broad back, feeling the muscles he’s worked so hard on obtaining. after megumi was born, toji did let himself go for a bit, but that is a good sign.
it means he’s content with his life - this peaceful life that he’s settled down for with no regrets. no more being reckless, no more battling for money; he’s now got a family to come back home to after all.
“is the little brat asleep?” toji asks while putting the last dish away. he’s visibly enjoying your warm hands that have slid under his shirt. your skin is so soft to the touch compared to his.
you chuckle and nod to his question. “gumi’s sleeping like a baby,” you rub your husband’s stomach gently, feeling the little bumps of his fading abs. you’re loving his new body - just as much as toji loves yours.
toji turns around to face you, desperately needing to return the favor. he can’t get enough of being with you. his rough hands grab your waist and bring you closer against his body, until your chests are nearly touching. he lowers his head to your neck, “that means i can show my wife how much i love her, yeah?”
you shiver at how toji’s voice turns from soft and gentle to sexual and husky. big hands find their place on your tummy, massaging the loose skin with its stretch marks. you can hear your husband’s breath hitch. “fuck,” toji swallows his spit, his fingers moving to grasp your hips.
toji loves how your hips got wider after you’ve given birth to your child. every change in your body, whether big or small, is completely welcomed by him. your body has blessed toji with a son he loves and he’ll forever be grateful for that fact. the least he can do is take his time to appreciate you.
“so beautiful,” toji sighs as he leaves soft pecks on your neck and throat. his fingers are working their way down to your thighs and ass—not leaving a single patch of skin untouched. his lips eventually find yours and you melt into his embrace.
it’s getting heated and the tension is palpable. toji’s about to lift you into his arms when you catch a glimpse of a short figure in the doorway. your eyes widen and you immediately detach your lips from your husband’s.
toji quickly catches on and sighs. he cocks his head to the left, the sight of his toddler standing at the doorway coming into view. “damn kid,” he whispers, nearly pouting because of the interruption. you playfully slap his bicep—a warning to fix his potty mouth in front of megumi.
“h-hey, gumi,” you say with an awkward giggle, walking towards the child. you fix your shirt in the meantime, straightening the material. you crouch down to megumi’s level and pat his head tenderly, “what happened? why are you out of bed?”
megumi stares up at you with teary eyes. he’s clenching onto his dog plushie, hugging the stuffed animal to his little body. you can easily guess that he’s scared—probably because of a nightmare. he’s been getting those more frequently.
though, instead of explaining himself, megumi searches for answers to something else. he points at his dad who’s leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. the toddler then looks back at you like he’s made some big discovery;
“mama papa kissing!”
you nearly choke on your spit. megumi’s a clever little boy and it shows through his advanced vocabulary. you’re surprised that he’s learnt what that meant already. you try to deny what your child said, “no, uhm, mama and papa were just hugging!”
toji snorts at your half assed excuse. he lazily walks over to you two, hands in his pockets. he bends forwards and looks megumi in the eyes with a huge smirk on his face. “yeah, we were. ‘n you totally ruined it,” he utters without any shame and menacingly sticks his tongue out at the little boy.
you hiss and lightly shove toji—he cannot take anything seriously. you’re trying your best to distract megumi’s attention from what he’s seen his parents do, to what his reason is for waking up.
“did you have a nightmare again?” you coo and pick your son up. he instantly snuggles up to you and presses his face against your chest in search of comfort. you smile and can conclude that your assumptions are right.
you pet megumi’s head whilst softly humming one of his favorite lullabies. toji watches your interaction with his son and his mood softens once more. he silently hugs you from behind—also wrapping an arm around megumi—turning it into a little family group hug.
“y’re all right, buddy,” toji mutters to megumi and the little boy sniffles in response, “mama ‘n papa ‘re right here.”
after a couple minutes, you carry megumi back to his room before putting him down in his bed. your husband stands next to you as you make sure your kid is tucked in properly.
megumi stares up at you with a sniff and you nearly melt at the adorable sight. you brush his bangs out of his eyes and kiss his forehead, wishing him a good night. the toddler nods and hugs his plushie to his chest again, still a bit shaken up from the nightmare. however, he’s doing a lot better after he got comforted by both his parents.
“sweet dreams, gumi,” you whisper and rub megumi’s cheeks with a fond smile on your lips. toji simply stares at you conversing with megumi—his face showing little to no emotion. though, from within, toji is absolutely in awe at your motherly personality. you’re the perfect mother.
megumi gets drowsy and tosses onto his side so he could be more comfortable. he struggles to open his eyes, but manages to look at toji. the little boy pouts and points another finger at his dad, this time drowsily warning him, “papa no kiss mama, ‘kay?”
that comment catches you off guard. you’re embarrassed by the fact that megumi still remembers what he’s seen in the kitchen. you try to clear your throat and explain yourself, but toji’s one step ahead of you. he silently mimics megumi’s words and rolls his eyes—
“yeah yeah, whatever. i won’t,” toji promises his son. the toddler clearly inherited your husband’s protectiveness. you chuckle at the playfulness between the two, enjoying the jokey banter the father-son duo have each time.
megumi huffs in victory and nods. he can sleep in peace now, knowing his dad won’t try anything funny with you. he closes his weary eyes and is asleep within just a few seconds.
you stretch your arms and sigh in content. you can’t help but chuckle once you notice how megumi’s fallen asleep with a tiny smile on his lips. you give the child one last forehead kiss before leaving the room in silence.
toji follows right behind you. now that his son is sound asleep, he doesn’t have to keep his promise. technically— he wasn’t planning to anyway.
“c’mere,” your husband mumbles and grabs your hand. he pulls you into a tight hug, hands instantly roaming your body which he admires so much. he plants his lips onto yours not a second later.
you smile into the kiss, finding it funny how toji couldn’t keep his (fake) promise for even one second. he would die if he actually couldn’t kiss you, and that isn’t even an exaggeration.
toji pulls back after a moment and smirks at you—those bedroom eyes of his very telling.
“so, where were we?”
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#jjk x you#toji x you#jjk fluff#toji fluff#jjk x y/n#toji x y/n#star divider by benkeibear
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