#them both breaking their own hearts
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puppy-phum · 2 years ago
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wow this between us ep went so hard, am scared for my life
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turtleblogatlast · 4 months ago
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[ cw: death mention / strangulation mention / stabbing mention / blood mention / self-sacrifice / codependency mention in tags / ]
I think a lot about how common it is for Raph to be the one to have direct focus put on him when Leo gets into all his near death experiences.
Like, when Leo is thrown off a building, it’s Raph who’s right there jumping after him, not even thinking about the consequences to himself when he does. When Leo almost gets skewered by the Krang, Raph’s right there to take the blow and send Leo to safety without a second thought. When Leo’s being strangled to near death, it’s a Krangified Raph doing the job, doing exactly what Raph would never, ever want to do. When Leo is telling Casey Jr to close the portal, it’s Raph who tries desperately to convince Leo otherwise.
Likewise, Leo is consistently very single minded when Raph gets forcibly separated from them. Both when in the sewers and by the Krang, Leo is dead set on finding Raph first and foremost.
I also think it’s interesting that during each of Leo’s near death experiences, the lightheartedness of his words during them goes directly hand in hand with both how close Raph is to him physically and how much danger Raph is also in in that moment. From a literal “I told you so” as Leo’s falling away from Raph to a soft joke about how “hero moves” are Raph’s style - both of these are on the more morbidly carefree side and both of these notably take Leo farther away from Raph and, in turn, have Raph not in immediate danger.
On the other side of things is the apology from Leo, heedless of the danger he himself is in as he seriously and genuinely speaks to a Krangified Raph face to face. Then there’s Leo’s freezing and desperation as Raph takes a hit meant for him and sends just Leo to safety, leaving Raph himself behind. Both of these involve much closer proximity and Raph being directly harmed - these together make Leo much more vulnerable in his words and actions, something not even the threat of death can make him.
These two care about each other so much, and they’re way too much alike for their own good.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#rottmnt leo#rise leo#honorable mention to the time Leo desperately tried throwing himself into harm’s way to get to Karai#and Raph is the one who has to pull him back#I also think that it’s interesting how both of them go about self sacrifice#because wow they both have problems with it#Raph’s tends to be immediate reactions not even thinking as he throws himself over his bros#Leo’s are often shown to be ‘for the greater good’ (said greater good often being his family)#once again I am saying that post movie these two would likely have codependency issues#considering Raph’s already present acute seperation anxiety and Leo’s immediate memory of Raph standing over him bleeding#another thing to mention is how Future Leo’s actual death still falls into the whole ‘morbidly lighthearted words’ category#I also wanna point out that in Many Unhappy Returns the trust that Leo wants so much does NOT come from Splinter but from RAPH#side note but in regard to the fighting that Raph and Leo were up to during the time between the shredder and the krang#I think it’s interesting that it’s NOT depicted as screaming matches - very blatantly not this actually#also also! I totally love how the movie parallels Oroku Saki and Karai with Raph and Leo respectively#there are so many parallels in general in this show+movie it makes me froth at the mouth#and because it breaks my heart - the beginning of the movie had Raph getting angry at Leo and lashing out at him#the end of the movie has the Krang very very angry at Leo and lashing out at him#both of these times has Leo ‘ruining’ a mission so…bad parallels#in the movie as well there’s a Krangified Raph who beats Leo senseless#so I have to wonder if Raph and Leo just…can’t roughhouse anymore#else Leo would flinch or Raph would be so scared to accidentally hurt Leo like he was already used to do before#then suddenly their usual dynamic of Raph never having to be softer with Leo is thrown on its head#worse is if they’re so terrified of this dynamic leaving that they power through their own sufferings to maintain it
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eastbluecrewed · 16 days ago
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outfit swaps bc i think about straw hat laundry day all the time
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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more laughingstock pleaseee? 💙 💚
Yes Yes Yes i have this very small soft scribble to offer <3
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wackachewbacca · 1 year ago
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Just thinking about how Calamity is such a dark miniseries but it can be filled with such small magical moments and things. Ever since Brennan introduced the spell kites in episode one I’ve been in love with them and what they symbolize.
They’re the first thing to welcome Avalir back to Domunas miles and hours before it ever touches down with little gifts, letters, favorite foods, and well wishes from loved ones in Cathmoíra that have been working for weeks and months leading up to the return of their sister city just to let the people in Avalir know we’ve been thinking of you and happy you’re home
It’s the first time in seven years you get to hold something tangible that was made by people who love you and all these emotions are carried by scraps of paper, ribbon, and magic that fly hundreds of miles up into the atmosphere where any regular kite would be torn apart but really it’s all held together by the love and joy of friendship and family that will find you no matter the distance you go
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ganondoodle · 2 months ago
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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t8oo · 6 months ago
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there is some symbolism iv never considered in that one episod of pt5 where zenigata rescues fujiko before she kills lupin
#there are many timelines and variations in lupin as a serie so that every ship could work#in my own prefered timeline lupin finally gets the hint that fujiko plays him like a fiddle#to me she does like him but he is an instrument to her#she is cold hearted and calculating and always thinking about relationships in terms of profit#i got some ideas abt her background that justify this. essentially she kills the detective that is after her and with that kills#the soft part of her that she couldnt control before#eventually and despite his affection lupin gives up the objectifications and the desires he projects onto fujiko#whom uses his delusions like a master tbh#thus allowing himself to consider zenigata. he plays with zenigata the way fujiko plays with him#hes just not as calculating. he feels pity and remorse where fujiko doesnt#he finds the thrills and the doubts and the lack of trust and the risk of betrayal in zenigata. the things that he loves the most#he isnt about stability. he thrives in the unknown. he loves that zenigata could backstab him and does so sometimes#and in that lack of stabilty some form of stability builds up. there is familiarity#and most importantly there are rare times when they can put the game aside and just chill#just enough to gather the energy to go back to trying to kill each other#plus zenigata pampers him during those breaks and he loves that#he acts with carelessness but he does care. in that regard he looses to fujiko#at least thats how she sees it. he doesnt see caring as a flaw#and zenigata is so sweet. he really is. and lupin loves to stirr up the crazy in him#fucking loonies the both of them#so in essence zenigata doesnt really 'save' him from fujiko but he becomes lupins new favourite toy to throw around#fujiko is only upset that because of that ugly looser of a detective her grip on lupin is loosening#she does find ways to use that newly developed affection luzeni has to her advantage thou#lupin is still her instrument she just drags zenigata along now#fujiko is such a good and interesting character and deserves so much better honestly#despite my love for TWCFM i wish there was another serie centralized around her where her ruthlessness is examined#and her cunning is studied. and the proper law enforcement she should face the same way lupin does#shes like a million times smarter and more ressourceful than him. steals much more. embezzles. manipulate#lupin is just a small time pickpocket next to her. she isnt about stealing a painting shes about emptying the pockets of the richest men in#the world. her goals are much more ambitious
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puppyeared · 7 months ago
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Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..
#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART#I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal#like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends#who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO#and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom#how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house#so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is#by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone#so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis#already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS#it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of#using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht#ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible#theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other#i remember i really liked the mall episode bc kyoya and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close#but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru#i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like#who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in#but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to#put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i#theyre all so. NNGGHHHH#ouran#ohshc#yapping
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timlucys · 2 years ago
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PENELOPE GARCIA & LUKE ALVEZ Criminal Minds | 16x10: Dead End
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lornasaurusrex · 7 months ago
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I miss you Lorna… this is such a mess
This is an old message and I had several other similar messages, but I miss you guys and hope you’re all doing well!! I’m sorry to see nothing has improved.
I saw I was kindly mentioned by @awesomefringey and some other commenters the other day, so just wanted to log in and say hello and log back out for a few more months. 💕
Sending so so much love to all of you. Take care of yourselves and each other, please.
The video is still on YT.
#Anywayyyyy#The fandom added a whole lot more C to my C-PTSD#So a nice random message every few months instead of a freshly posted death wish is LOVELY.#Don’t fret. On meds and therapied but fresh tf out of money from it so @ L and H… lornasaurusrexx at g*ail is the PayPal if ur bored 🙃#I hate to be like this but protect your hearts. They’ll never be able to look out for you guys and they feed these trolls ammo for snacks#and it seems to have only gotten worse. Gotta keep them hets hetbaited for their money whilst actively encouraging them to bully yall? Why?#STILL!? At this point it feels like they’ve both chosen that path deliberately now and I find it quite gross. but I’m also very far removed#So don’t worry about my opinions. Keep trusting your own intuition!!! You all see it. I love you guys and your beautiful hearts and empathy#But I hope they can sleep at night knowing the absolute fucking genuine WRECKAGE they left across the Big Gay War generation/era of Larries#Don’t worry guys I’m just as dramatic as ever. None of this has anything to do with them coming out or anything. Just how we were treated.#But trust I fuckin mean that shit from the deepest darkest pit of my Demon Larrie™️ heart. They encouraged this. 🤷🏼‍♀️#Anyone who cares about my actual life updates: I’m a school nurse now and will be working at a bougie summer camp over break#Had a surgery I needed. Got new tattoos and piercings. In a happy and healthy relationship with the best dude for almost a year now.#OH and I went to New Zealand last year with Prettytruthsandlies!!!! We made a pact back in our Big Gay War/college days to go. And we DID!!#I got overstimulated and overfed and puked in Hobbiton. 🤣 (It was the best time of my LIFE GENUINELY🥰🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹)#Okay BYE LOVE YOU GUYS#There are better and more humane ways to maintain a closet ..like literally STFU entirely. Ignoring it and not exploiting a kid is FREE#🇵🇸
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haunted-xander · 1 year ago
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Thinking about how Thancred and Ryne's respective behaviours affect their dynamic and each other's behaviour in regards to said dynamic and how neither of them is actually directly caused by the circumstances, just exacerbated.
Thancred is reticent and guarded as a product of his enviourment and all his training and work as a spy, where vulnerability is a weakness and is like to get you and your loved ones hurt or killed. He's never had an opportunity or need to be open and vulnerable with people, as everyone he was close to either didn't need it as badly (like Minfilia, who had F'lhaminn as her primary source of emotional support, and could already see just how much Thancred cared for her even if he couldn't actually show it properly) or worked close with him and knew that this was necessary (like the Circle/Scions).
Ryne values everyones thoughts and feelings over her own because she was raised by Ran'jit, who viewed her more as an object of his repeated losses and grief of those he couldn't protect before her. She's more a memento than a person, and so she's been told her entire life that her feelings and opinions don't matter in the slightest. She never got the chance to learn they mattered either, because she spend the last 3 years almost entirely alone with Thancred who never indicated either way.
And when these two are put against each other they end up feeding the root problems. Thancred's emotional distance makes Ryne assume he doesn't care about her and by extention, her thoughts and feelings. Ryne's over-valuing of his words make him even more reluctant to speak up because he doesn't want to sway her any given way, which is exactly what would happen because she values his feelings so much.
It's an endless and terrible cycle that neither are really able to break out of on their own. It's not really either one's fault but it still falls to them to deal with it. They can't break it themselves but they also can't have it broken by anyone else either. They have to both be confronted about it and realize that this is never going to work. Thancred needs to learn he can't just keep saying "not today" and Ryne needs to learn that regardless of her view of herself she can't let other's feelings decide her life for her. Vulnerability isn't a weakness nor is self-destructive sympathy a strength.
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lesbiradshaw · 2 years ago
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theo and liam always getting paired together in 6b during episodes where all of the other storylines focus on couples going through stuff together is so funny because when you look at it, the only episode where they really get split up is genotype, which is one of the rare episodes where scott ISN’T paired with malia (because he’s with liam) and mason isn’t with corey (because he’s with theo) aka the canon love interests. like these episodes were cutting from shit like scalia almost dying together to thiam having intimate conversations about how liam processes emotions and morey saying i love you to thiam swearing that neither of them are dying for each other 😭 just very amusing to me. theo raeken: the accidental love interest.
#like 😭#6b eps post theo getting kidnapped go pressure test -> triggers -> werewolves of london -> genotype -> 6.19 which i barely remember ->#then wolves of war aka the finale#pressure test: mason & corey are at deatons. theo shows up at the police station w everyone & shoves liam in the bathroom to berate him for#not being worried ab his own safety enough ??? 😭 & hes pretty much attached to liams hip in the group shots#also while theo & scott are outside doing their lil body bag trick malia and liam are pressed right against the window watching both of them#& during triggers we dont see corey but mason leaves theo & liam alone . & its a major bonding ep for them….#while scalia are also having their major bonding moment when they both almost Die#then during werewolves of london theo just shows up at the school and they end up calling scalia for help 😭#and again genotype breaks all the couples off from each other so its mason n theo / scott n liam / malia with her dad#and during wolves of war i literally laughed out loud because it bounces around from jethan to morey to thiam all having heart to hearts#not saying it was intentional but it was very funny framing TO ME#that ao3 tag thats like ‘they are dating in secret but only one is aware’ LIEKDJENEBR#they basically made theo liam’s love interest on accident just bcuz everyone else was already paired off w someone 😭#thiam#saw someone the other day say they just dont get how people Came Up with thiam and its like#ok if you dont ship it whatever but if you say you cant see why youre just lying 😭 look at the material
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clegfly · 2 months ago
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‘Puter mari can’t read rooms. Or screens I guess
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#my girl I’m SO normal about her#goes INSANE!!!#omori#omori au#omori mari#I’ve been just developing her character in my head because it’s so interesting#she’s mari but NOT mari at the same time#she has her own little quirks and parts of personality which she in turn questions if that makes her really mari#every single detail about her character is like a concentric circle#it just keeps going and going and the concepts derivative of previous concepts get deeper and deeper#she’s in the depths of an existential crisis let her brood#she IS very bad at socialising and reading rooms and moods and stuff#she’s been trapped her whole life!! both in the game’s storyline and literally on the computer too!!! give her a break!!!!#cw sui mention#some little facts about her for those interested#she speaks with like this tweaked tts that sunny made#in which he adjusted it enough so that it sounded like mari to him#:(#so like. whatever voice headcanon you have for mari bitcrush it and make it choppy thats her#she was the first vocaloid!!! puter mari did it FIRST!!!!#she also gets more advanced the more she’s around#at some point she figures out how to start transferring into electric appliances#sunny’s microwaving leftovers and his microwave starts talking to him in puter mari’s low resolution ass voice#BSJDJDJNZ I love her#I’m purposefully ignoring like the entire angst aspect of her character rn#it’s silly time!!!#ough puter mari you will now forever have my heart#I have more little facts about her lmk if you wanna hear them!!!#puter au
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ssruis · 6 months ago
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(Re: tsukasa post) if you wanted to be a little uncharitable you *could* say that tsukasa cares for others just because it lines up with his goals - as in, he cares for others because he believes that’s what a star should do - rather than just genuine kindness and goodwill, but I would argue
- wrt loved ones: saki specifically (& to a lesser extent toya just because they interact less) is the greatest counterpoint against that interpretation. He wants to be the best brother possible because he loves her, not because it’s what a star should be doing (gestures at the doll event where he brought her the dolls as a kid even before he started the whole I am a world future star thing). Like yes he views that as something he *should* be doing but that’s because he believes that’s what you should do for your loved ones. I think at this point the big brother-dream of being a star thing are so irreversibly intertwined that they’re kind of one and the same. Of course a star would care for others because tsukasa cares for others and he views himself as a star etc etc. He wants to look out for/do things for his siblings/friends because he loves them.
- I guess you could argue him doing the same for strangers is solely because it upholds his star persona/image? But to that I would point out that his whole “I realized my real dream was to make others smile” thing in the main story sort of contradicts that. Given the whole “theatre is life” thing he’s got going on I think making strangers/acquaintance/etc happy in his day to day life is just like. A microcosm of what he aims to do on stage. I think he’s egotistical yeah but I don’t think that has to be mutually exclusive with selflessness. I do think there’s a discussion to be had about tsukasa being self-centered because he *is* and he’s absolutely not the completely selfless guy some people want to think he is but I also think that he can be motivated by egotistical desires *and* selfless desires. Being self centered isn’t inherently a bad thing. Tsukasa is kind because he’s a kind person and because that’s what a star should do in his mind. His own kindness is self serving. Does that make sense (no, it’s incomprehensible) great glad you’re following along. Sliding scale of how selfless his motivations for being kind are depending on the person with saki being on one end and random strangers on the other.
- I think it’s inherently difficult to ascertain whether the motives behind kindness are self serving or not. Does someone being kind because it makes them feel good mean they’re selfish? Humans are a social species, we enjoy making others happy because it makes us happy. Evolutionary adaption that helps the survival of the group. I think the idea that true kindness depends on your altruism making you miserable is stupid, although I guess you could argue that a kind person chooses kindness regardless of how it makes them feel. But then there’s the question of what motivates your kindness (a sense of doing the right thing? Upholding your morals? Because the guilt of being selfish is something you can’t bear? Wouldn’t that be just as selfish as wanting to feel good?) Whether or not true altruism/selflessness exists is a philosophical debate I don’t really feel like having over characters from the gacha miku tap tap game. Whatever. Would like to point out that tsukasa has canonically chosen to do the “right”/kind thing at the cost of his own benefit before (giving up on winning the pxl show contest/chance for a big break in favor of putting on the WMS show, which he was a little upset about doing).
I think people tend to err too far on the side of “he’s super selfless all the time with a pure heart” because they don’t want to admit their fave is an absolutely bizarre guy with a massive ego that comes into play for more than just his funny little speeches about being The Most Special Guy Alive which is tragic because Tsukasa Tenma is truly an interesting critter. He doesn’t do things solely out of the goodness of his heart but he also doesn’t not do things out of the goodness of his heart. He’s complex. Layered. A weird little freak. I’m studying him like a bug. You understand.
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summertimemusician · 1 year ago
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*downs coffee like a shot* Before we go back to our regularly scheduled Linktober/Linktober Shadow (because I don't leave things unfinished if I can help it), I gotta get the idea of Revenant First out of my system and y'all get to suffer with me until it eventually ceases being an idea and it turns into an actual story. For some reason we talk a lot about First already being alive or already a ghost by the time the Chain meets him, but I don't think I've ever heard someone talk about him actually coming back to life and so y'all get to suffer with my insane ramblings like I'm an 1800's psychic ward patient who believes themselves to be a witch.
Can be x Reader or not idk just an idea that won't leave my mind.
Might expand on this later so Part out of I/?
Revenant First, who died for his people and in the name of his Goddess. All alone on the surface, fighting, fighting, fighting, always fighting. Just to make the land a little safer before the next hero arrives, just to contain the Imprisoned for a little while longer with likely nothing than a ordinary, common sword to his name and a slowly rusting armor.
Always giving so so so much for his people, always doing his best to protect them, though they scorned him, loathed him, didn't believe or support him, rejected him.
With a spirit so strong and lovely that a Goddess fell for him, hated herself for having to manipulate and put him through such horrid experiences just to save the many, just to turn the diamond of his soul into an unbreakable lonsdaleite blade agaisnt a mad deity.
Someone whose will would be enough to keep him going, just one more fight right? Just one more kill right? Forward, forward, ever onward, it doesn't matter if the flesh decays, if the blood drips drips drips until he is dry of it, if the liver doesn't process nutrients, if the lungs don't draw air, if the nerves feel nothing but the cold cold numbness of the winter of his final years, if the heart doesn't beat. If the armor rusts or the sword breaks. He must keep going, he must keep fighting.
To keep them safe he must have faith, faith that he can keep going, to grasp onto that one.single.thread of purpose until the day that fiery, indomitable, determined will finally burns out. Even if his Goddess may have forsaken him knowingly or unknowingly, even if his people have rejected him to the point he isn't even human anymore, even though they reviled him, even if that rejection should by all intents and purposes chained his spirit to the land or ground the jewel of his unbreakable soul into dust, he still loves them, still adores them, still wants to protect them.
No matter how long he must keep going for it. He wishes to see those he holds dear happy, though they cursed and imprisoned him once.
The Chain getting dropped into a completely empty, desolated and undeniably dead version of Sky's Hyrule, only to find the only living thing besides monster is a single man, with rusted gold armor and an old sword, a faded tunic of green with a long, crimson scarf like a bloody banner. With hair and eyes like theirs, undeniably a Link. But so very frigid, so very silent they almost didn't notice him, that they can't help but wonder just how many years he has spent there, eroding away, ruined but still kind, kind, so very gentle. A shadow of his former self, yes, but still himself, still so so so good, doing all he can until Sky's Era comes and maybe, just maybe, he can finally rest.
Or maybe not, after all, someone has to keep the land safe until the Hero after Sky comes around, no?
Just Revenant First in general.
Or maybe we give him the House in Fata Morgana treatment, the House in Fata Hylia Au if you will- *collapses from sleep deprivation*
#linked universe headcanons#lu first#lu fic idea#Revenant First#lu first x reader#maybe? it's mostly just an idea lol#might expand on this later lol#Also knows as what happens when Summer is sleep deprived while doing essays takes a break by listening to The House in Fata Morgana OST#and suddenly gets First in the brain lol#still have way too much First Hero on the brain that man deserves the world but at the same time I want to put him into Situations lol#Feral Revenant First being protective of the Chain my beloved#Sky being so confused because Fi at the same time recognizes the man and has just started lowkey crying and screaming in chimes#Twi Wind Hyrule and Time not knowing wether to be morbidly intrigued or horrified because he registers as both dead and alive to them#Meanwhile First is just chilling#doing his own thing and probably bonding with Wild over 'Being Dead but Got Better'#Probably doesn't even register he shouldn't be moving anymore after taking a stab to the heart or something lol#if we want to make an X Reader kind of thing then it's literally his love for Reader which also allows him to keep going#alongside sheer force of will and determination#Michel and Giselle vibes ya know? lol#Wait would that make Hylia Morgana? Or could it be Demise or something? Eh#I dunno might expand on that later/write out that Au later on as a self indulgent thing#Anyway for now ya'll get this until I am finally not swamped with literature/language essays and fistfighting sleep deprivation#Summer Writes#Summer Writes Linked Universe Headcanons#Summer's Sleep Deprived Headcanons
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acourtofquestions · 23 days ago
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"I didn't break," she said quietly. His heart cracked at the words. "I didn't tell them anything."
She didn't say it for praise, to boast. But rather to tell him, her consort, of where they stood in this war. What their enemies might know.
"I knew you wouldn't," he managed to say.
"She ... she tried to convince me that this was the bad dream. When Cairn was done with me, or during it, I don't know, she'd try to worm her way into my mind." She glanced around the cave, as if she could see the world beyond it. "She spun fantasies that felt so real..." She bobbed under the surface. Perhaps she'd needed the cooling water of the lake to be able to hear her own voice again; perhaps she needed the distance between them so she could speak these words. She emerged, slicking back her hair with a hand. "They felt like this."
Half of him didn't want to know, but he asked, "What sort of illusions?"
A long pause. "It doesn't matter now."
Too soon to push—if ever.
Then she asked softly, "How long?"
It took the entirety of his three centuries of training to keep the devastation, the agony for her, from his face. "Two months, three days, and seven hours."
Her mouth tightened, either at the length of time, or the fact that he'd counted every single one of those hours apart.
She ran her fingers through her hair, its strands floating around her in the water. Still too long for two months to have passed. "They healed me after each ... session. So that I stopped knowing what had been done and what was in my mind and where the truth lay." Erase her scars, and Maeve stood a better chance at convincing her none of this was real. "But the healers couldn't remember how long my hair was, or Maeve wanted to confuse me further, so they grew it out." Her eyes darkened at the memory of why, perhaps, they had needed to regrow her hair in the first place.
"Do you want me to cut it back to the length it was when I last saw you?" His words were near-guttural.
"No." Ripples shivered around her. "I want it so I can remember."
What had been done to her, what she'd survived and what she had protected.
Even if the woman treading water before him didn't seem to have vengeance on her mind. Not so much as a hint of the burning rage that fueled her.
He didn't blame her. Knew it would take time, time and distance, to heal the internal wounds. If they could ever really heal at all.
But he'd work with her, help in whatever way he could. And if she never returned to who she had been before this, he would not love her any less.
Aelin dunked her head, and when she emerged, she said, "Maeve was about to put a Valg collar around my neck. She left to retrieve it." The scent of her lingering fear drifted toward him, and Rowan lurched a step closer to the water's edge. "It's why I—why I got away. She had me moved to the army camp for safekeeping, and I ..." Her voice stalled, yet she met his stare. Let him read the words she could not say, in that silent way they'd always been able to communicate. Escape wasn't my intention.
"No, Fireheart," he breathed, shaking his head, horror creeping over him. "There ... there was no collar."
She blinked, head angling. "That was a dream, too?"
His heart cracked as he struggled for the words. Made himself voice them. "No—it was real. Or Maeve thought it was. But the collars, the Valg presence ... It was a lie that we crafted. To draw Maeve out, hopefully away from you and Doranelle."
Only the faint lapping of water sounded. "There was no collar?"
Rowan lowered himself to his knees and shook his head. "I—Aelin, if I'd known what she'd do with the knowledge, what you'd decide to do-"
He might have lost her. Not from Maeve or the gods or the Lock, but from his own damned choices. The lie he'd spun.
Aelin drifted beneath the surface again. So deep that when the flare happened, it was little more than a flutter. The light burst from her, rippling across the lake, illumining the stones, the slick ceiling above. A silent eruption. His breathing turned ragged. But she swam toward the surface again, light streaming off her body like tendrils of clouds. It had nearly vanished when she emerged.
"I'm sorry," he managed to say. Again, that angle of the head. "You have nothing to be sorry for." He did, though. He'd added to her terror, her desperation. He'd— "If you had not planted that lie for Maeve, if she had not told me, I don't think we'd be here right now," she said.
He tried to rein in the twisting in his gut, the urge to reach for her, to beg for her forgiveness. Tried and tried.
She only asked, "What of the others?" She didn't know-couldn't know how and why and where they'd all parted ways. So Rowan told her, as succinctly and calmly as he could.
When he finished, Aelin was quiet for long minutes.
She stared out into the blackness, the rippling of her treading water the only sound. Her body had nearly lost that freshly forged glow.
Then she pivoted back toward him. "Maeve said you and the others were in the North. That you'd been spotted by her spies there. Did you plant that deception for her, too?"
He shook his head. "Lysandra has been thorough, it seems."
Aelin's throat bobbed. "I believed her." It sounded like a confession, somehow.
So Rowan found himself saying, "I told you once that even if death separated us, I would rip apart every world until I found you." He gave her a slash of a smile. "Did you really believe this would stop me?'
She pursed her mouth, and at last, those agonizing emotions began to surface in her eyes. "You were supposed to save Terrasen."
"Considering that the sun shines, I'd say Erawan hasn't won yet. So we'll save it together."
He didn't let himself think of the final cost of destroying Erawan. And Aelin seemed in no hurry to discuss it, either, as she said, "You should have gone to Terrasen. It needs you."
"I need you more." He didn't balk from the stark honesty roughening his voice. "And Terrasen will need you, too. Not Lysandra masquerading as you, but you."
A shallow nod. "Maeve raised her army. I doubt it was only to guard me while she was away."
He'd put the thought aside, to consider later. "It might just be to shore up her defenses, should Erawan win across the sea."
"Do you truly think that's what she plans to do with it?"
"No," he admitted. "I don't."
And if Maeve meant to bring that army to Terrasen, to either unite with Erawan or simply be another force battering their kingdom, to strike when they were weakest, they had to hurry. Had to get back. Immediately. His mate's eyes shone with the same understanding and dread.
Aelin's throat bobbed as she whispered, "I'm so tired, Rowan."
His heart strained again. "I know, Fireheart."
He opened his mouth to say more, to coax her onto land so he might at least hold her if words couldn't ease her burden, but that's when he saw it.
A boat, ancient and every inch of it carved, drifted out of the gloom.
"Get back to shore." The boat wasn't drifting—it was being tugged. He could just barely make out two dark forms slithering beneath the surface.
Aelin didn't hesitate, yet her strokes remained steady as she swam for him. She didn’t balk at the hand he extended, and he wrapped his cloak around her while the boat ambled past.
But Aelin turned toward them, hair dripping onto the stone at her bare feet. Half a thought from her could have had her dry, yet she made no move to do so. "We're being hunted."
"We know that," Lorcan shot back, and were it not for the fact that Aelin was currently allowing him to rest a hand upon her shoulder, Rowan would have thrown the male into the lake.
But Aelin's features didn't shift from that graveness, that unruffled calm. "The only way to the sea is through these caves." It was an outrageous claim.
"And I suppose they told you that?" Lorcan's face was hard as granite.
"Watch it," Rowan snarled. Fenrys indeed bared his teeth at the dark-haired warrior, fur bristling. But Aelin said simply, "Yes." Her chin didn't dip an inch. "The land above is crawling with soldiers and spies. Going beneath them is the only way."
Elide stepped forward. "I will go." She cut a cold glance toward Lorcan. "You can take your chances above, if you're so disbelieving." Lorcan's jaw tightened, and a small part of Rowan relished seeing the delicate Lady of Perranth fillet the centuries-hardened warrior with a few words. "Considering the potential pitfalls of the situation is wise."
"We don't have time to consider," Rowan cut in before Elide could voice the retort on her tongue. "We need to keep moving. Gavriel stalked forward to study the moored boat and what seemed to be bundles of supplies on its sturdy planks. "How will we navigate our way, though?"
"We'll be escorted," Aelin answered.
"And if they abandon us?" Lorcan challenged. Aelin leveled unfazed eyes upon him.
"Then you'll have to find a way out, I suppose." A hint-just a spark-of temper belied those calm words. There was nothing else to debate after that.
And they had little to pack. The others gave Aelin privacy to dress by the fire while they inspected the boat, and when his mate emerged again, clad in boots, pants, and various layers beneath her gray surcoat, the sight of her in clothes from Mistward was enough to make his gut clench.
No longer a naked, escaped captive. Yet none of that wickedness, that joy and unchecked wildness illuminated her face.
The rest of their party waited on the boat, seated on the benches built into its high-lipped sides. Fenrys and Elide both sat as seemingly far from Lorcan as they could get, Gavriel a golden, long-suffering buffer between them.
Rowan lingered at the shore's edge, a hand extended for Aelin while she approached. Each of her steps seemed considered—as if she still marveled at being able to move freely. As if still adjusting to her legs without the burden of chains.
"Why?" Lorcan mused aloud, more to himself. "Why go to these lengths for us?"
He got his answer—they all did—a heartbeat later. Aelin halted a few feet away from the boat and Rowan's outstretched hand. She turned back toward the cave itself. The Little Folk peeked from those birch branches, from the rocks, from behind stalagmites. Slowly, deeply, Aelin bowed to them. Rowan could have sworn all those tiny heads lowered in answer.
A pair of bony grayish hands rose above a nearby rock, something glittering held between them, and set the object on the stone.
Rowan went still. A crown of silver and pearl and diamond gleamed there, fashioned into upswept swan's wings
"The Crown of Mab," Gavriel breathed. But Fenrys looked away, toward the looming dark, his tail curling around him.
Aelin staggered a step closer to the crown. "It—it fell into the river."
Rowan didn't want to know how she'd encountered it, why she'd seen it fall into a river. Maeve had kept her sisters' two crowns under constant guard, only bringing them out to be displayed in her throne room on state occasions. In memory of her siblings, she'd intoned. Rowan had sometimes wondered if it was a reminder that she had outlasted them, had kept the throne for herself in the end.
The grayish hand slipped over the rock's edge again and nudged the crown in silent gesture. Take it.
"You want to know why?" Gavriel softly asked Lorcan as Aelin strode for the rock. Nothing but solemn reverence on her face. "Because she is not only Brannon's Heir, but Mab's, too."
A throwback to her great-great-grandmother, Maeve had taunted her. Who had inherited her strength, her immortal lifespan.
Aelin's fingers closed around the crown, lifting it gently. It sparkled like living moonlight between her hands.
My sister Mab's line ran true, Elide claimed Maeve had said on the beach. In every way, it seemed.
But Aelin made no move to don the crown while she approached him once more, her gait steadier this time. Trying not to dwell on the unbearable smoothness of her hand as it wrapped around his, Rowan helped her aboard, then climbed in himself before freeing the ropes tethering them to the shore.
Gavriel went on, awe in every word, "And that makes her their queen, too."
Aelin met Gavriel's gaze, the crown near-glowing in her hands. "Yes," was all she said as the boat sailed into the darkness.
#Chapter 35#Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#Rowaelin chapters#Rowaelin quotes#Rowaelin moments#Aelin Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#spoilers in post & tags please no spoilers up to this ch. first read with me cry with me pt. 2 perspective Rowan#That lake water had never seen sunlight had flowed from the dark cold heart of the mountains themselves. — she is the sun and the heart#It would kill even the most hardened of Fae warriors within minutes. Yet there was Aelin swimming as if it were a sun-warmed forest pool.#her faintly glowing body. As if the water had peeled away the skin of the woman and revealed the blazing soul beneath.#But that glow faded with each passing breath she emerged to take dimming further each time she plunged beneath the surface.#internal inferno-or simply because she first wanted to wash away the stain of Cairn? Perhaps both.-She didn’t trust her power on land#The Celaena freedom vibes hurt-Lorcan god on his shoulder-OMG do her&Manon share crowns?#At least she'd begun speaking her eyes clearing a bit. — the glow still barely clinging — the way he just wants her to be ok#You could join me she said at last No heat in her words yet he felt the invitation. — but rather to be WITH her#She did no such thing her arms continuing their sweeping circles in the water. Aelin only stared at him again in that grave cautious way.#real or not real — a god in her own might — as if she could see the world beyond it; worlds; the queen to walk between worlds#Too soon to push—if ever. — he’d hear them when she was ready — if the time never came he’d love her anyways — it’s how they fell#what illusion? night made of dream. or the worst; both.#the way he knows the date with her just like Lyria — him offering to cut her hair — knowing she needs to remember — no fear of lakes anymor#all the Mistward paralells — I didn’t break — I know — I’m tired; ITS ALL THE TROPES#she’s making me think of Annie from HG — THE WAY HE LOVES HER — no rage just trust — everytime he calls her Fireheart#the two of them worrying the other would be upset and feeling guilty while there not — the way Chaol described as a wolf&he just sees as is#he just wants to hold her-how she goes to him-hes just happy to beWher-what if-known-it switched THEIR-she isTHEspark-Lorcan almost-no fued#HeirofMab-shes why-Rowan loves nomatter-on his knees to apologize-had Lys been pretending to be him?blind eels4ladyTHXlilfolk-Gavriel the#longsufferingbuffer-​FenrysKNEW-more iron-moon star&Sun2stars-but Aelin never wanted that-she'd give it all-my favoriteCh.RowanSimp4his wif
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