#Meanwhile First is just chilling
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*downs coffee like a shot* Before we go back to our regularly scheduled Linktober/Linktober Shadow (because I don't leave things unfinished if I can help it), I gotta get the idea of Revenant First out of my system and y'all get to suffer with me until it eventually ceases being an idea and it turns into an actual story. For some reason we talk a lot about First already being alive or already a ghost by the time the Chain meets him, but I don't think I've ever heard someone talk about him actually coming back to life and so y'all get to suffer with my insane ramblings like I'm an 1800's psychic ward patient who believes themselves to be a witch.
Can be x Reader or not idk just an idea that won't leave my mind.
Might expand on this later so Part out of I/?
Revenant First, who died for his people and in the name of his Goddess. All alone on the surface, fighting, fighting, fighting, always fighting. Just to make the land a little safer before the next hero arrives, just to contain the Imprisoned for a little while longer with likely nothing than a ordinary, common sword to his name and a slowly rusting armor.
Always giving so so so much for his people, always doing his best to protect them, though they scorned him, loathed him, didn't believe or support him, rejected him.
With a spirit so strong and lovely that a Goddess fell for him, hated herself for having to manipulate and put him through such horrid experiences just to save the many, just to turn the diamond of his soul into an unbreakable lonsdaleite blade agaisnt a mad deity.
Someone whose will would be enough to keep him going, just one more fight right? Just one more kill right? Forward, forward, ever onward, it doesn't matter if the flesh decays, if the blood drips drips drips until he is dry of it, if the liver doesn't process nutrients, if the lungs don't draw air, if the nerves feel nothing but the cold cold numbness of the winter of his final years, if the heart doesn't beat. If the armor rusts or the sword breaks. He must keep going, he must keep fighting.
To keep them safe he must have faith, faith that he can keep going, to grasp onto that one.single.thread of purpose until the day that fiery, indomitable, determined will finally burns out. Even if his Goddess may have forsaken him knowingly or unknowingly, even if his people have rejected him to the point he isn't even human anymore, even though they reviled him, even if that rejection should by all intents and purposes chained his spirit to the land or ground the jewel of his unbreakable soul into dust, he still loves them, still adores them, still wants to protect them.
No matter how long he must keep going for it. He wishes to see those he holds dear happy, though they cursed and imprisoned him once.
The Chain getting dropped into a completely empty, desolated and undeniably dead version of Sky's Hyrule, only to find the only living thing besides monster is a single man, with rusted gold armor and an old sword, a faded tunic of green with a long, crimson scarf like a bloody banner. With hair and eyes like theirs, undeniably a Link. But so very frigid, so very silent they almost didn't notice him, that they can't help but wonder just how many years he has spent there, eroding away, ruined but still kind, kind, so very gentle. A shadow of his former self, yes, but still himself, still so so so good, doing all he can until Sky's Era comes and maybe, just maybe, he can finally rest.
Or maybe not, after all, someone has to keep the land safe until the Hero after Sky comes around, no?
Just Revenant First in general.
Or maybe we give him the House in Fata Morgana treatment, the House in Fata Hylia Au if you will- *collapses from sleep deprivation*
#linked universe headcanons#lu first#lu fic idea#Revenant First#lu first x reader#maybe? it's mostly just an idea lol#might expand on this later lol#Also knows as what happens when Summer is sleep deprived while doing essays takes a break by listening to The House in Fata Morgana OST#and suddenly gets First in the brain lol#still have way too much First Hero on the brain that man deserves the world but at the same time I want to put him into Situations lol#Feral Revenant First being protective of the Chain my beloved#Sky being so confused because Fi at the same time recognizes the man and has just started lowkey crying and screaming in chimes#Twi Wind Hyrule and Time not knowing wether to be morbidly intrigued or horrified because he registers as both dead and alive to them#Meanwhile First is just chilling#doing his own thing and probably bonding with Wild over 'Being Dead but Got Better'#Probably doesn't even register he shouldn't be moving anymore after taking a stab to the heart or something lol#if we want to make an X Reader kind of thing then it's literally his love for Reader which also allows him to keep going#alongside sheer force of will and determination#Michel and Giselle vibes ya know? lol#Wait would that make Hylia Morgana? Or could it be Demise or something? Eh#I dunno might expand on that later/write out that Au later on as a self indulgent thing#Anyway for now ya'll get this until I am finally not swamped with literature/language essays and fistfighting sleep deprivation#Summer Writes#Summer Writes Linked Universe Headcanons#Summer's Sleep Deprived Headcanons
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nothing is prompting this post at all I just wanna say that Viktor is also possessive about Jayce, if they actually did get together his version of possessiveness would start circling around to borderline exhibitionism. He loves that Jayce's face is slapped on stupid blimps and mugs. He's so into the fact that this city that disrespects him, his people, and disrespected Jayce until he became useful them...he LOVES that that city wants his man so bad. It always looks like he tolerates how tactile Jayce is but Viktor is basking in it.
Viktor thinks everyone should get a chance to see Jayce when he's sweaty and shirtless and breathing hard at the forge. He enjoys seeing people fawn and get giggly when Jayce smiles at them.
His form of possessiveness is going "Yes take a good look. Really drink it in. Enjoy that he flirts with everything that smiles at him, he really is a charmer. You noticed the shoulder to hip ratio there I'm sure. Sure, give him your address I don't blame you. Now then. Guess who has him wrapped around my pinky finger and die mad about it"
#viktor#arcane#jayvik#jayvik meta#viktor suddenly has growing appreciation for Piltover's love of massive windows#unfortunately this goes double for Mel he wants to shove his tongue down Jayce's throat in front of Mel#im so sorry im sorry but season2 really launched a grenade into my ability to imagine jaymelvik#mel is so chill with it shes like 'viktor will come back to us dont worry Jayce'#meanwhile Viktors hexgoo cuccoon is trying to bite her#in universes where Viktor got there first he is insufferable and shes like#'oh. my god. im not going to try to take your man.'#little does she know that to Viktor just putting Jayce on the council and taking his time#is the same as taking viktors man
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Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#Genuinely speaking I feel like said demeanor is incredibly useful for when he has to charm and/or persuade people into listening to him#I have a whole post talking about Leo’s charm and how he consistently gets people to hear him out even if he’s annoyed or upset them#like they’ll still listen to what he has to say in full#his charisma stat is real and utilized quite often in this series I swear he’s not just a loser cringeboy all the time 😭#if he wants to persuade and/or charm then he honestly sooo often does#me listing the 400th reason why Leo grows up to be the worlds best ninja and a good 365 of those reasons are Leo’s various subterfuge skill#Like most episodes where he’s not the main focus (and even many where he is)#he’s a voice of reason who notices things quickly and is often the one taking point to talk down situations#something interesting I found between Leo and Mikey is that#Mikey tells people what they need to hear#Leo tells people what they want to hear#not only out of his own agenda either#when bullhop was wrecking their home leo was the one that negotiated to make the situation go smoother#even if he would have rather bullhop left#meanwhile Mikey is the one who bluntly tells things as it is#small character moment that means a lot to me#Mikey is an honest boy who is upfront about his feelings#Leo prefers to let people make their own decisions he wants them to through steering the convo in that direction#but he is easily cowed by guilt#regardless leo is a people person - he knows how to talk to them and how to manipulate/persuade#and I like that his bros know this and often push him forward to do the talking if they wanna charm someone into doing what they want#I think Leo’s hope speeches are also an example of this - he’s saying what people really want to hear (and often it’s ALSO what they NEED)#the further the series goes on the higher Leo’s inner stress rises and he just keeps that chill aura anyway#there’s a reason!!! he wanted to go to a SPA so badly!!#literally the first thing he does when he gets in is rest#no joke meditation would do him good? like- it’s a Leo thing and I genuinely think rise leo would be no different here
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Anyway back to space dog
#minecraft story mode#mcsm#DanTDM#Mcsm au#DanTDM au#dr trayaurus#Mcsm: space dog#Mcsm Jack#Mcsm nell#Mcsm Archie#See I told y'all tray makes some friends#Im working on some relationship charts#To like. Help me remember what he thinks of different people#But some notes:#He and Jack used to hate each other so much just cause of jacks paranoia towards grim and Tray's protectiveness#Jack doesn't trust him cause like. The admin is gone BUT THATS A FREAKY ADMIN LOOKIN MOB IS THERE ANOTHER ONE SPHING ON THEM???#IS TRAY WORKING WITH ROMEO 😟 (no-)#But they're good friends after some stuff gets cleared up-#Jack is like. The only person who really understands what tray is going through and how to help him. He's been there#Uhh nell and tray are good friends too. Very much like “YOOOO Tray what is up my dude!! 😝” “[Hi Nell. 😐]”#She's way more chill and kinda forces him to relax a little#Uhh CASSIE IS INTERESTING. she takes on a new identity so she can stalk Jesse and plan out her revenge without being caught#But unfortunately that means tray doesn't know who she is. At one point she has to help him do stuff to do with Dan's disappearance#She's like sweating bullets as he's like “[-Cassie Rose. That's the ladies name. The one who killed him do you know anything about that?]”#He thinks she's his friend. Meanwhile she is setting up traps to try and kill him-#TRAY NO!!! DONT LET YOUR GUARD DOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 6 YEARS!!!#DONT TRUST THE WRONG PERSON ONLY TO GET BETRAYED AND BECOME SUPER WITHDRAWN AND ANXIOUS ALL THE TIME!!! NO!!!!#Anyway. Tray has two modes and they are -_- and O.O#Posting this after midnight when my brain is well and truly shut down RAAAAAAH
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this scott 3l rewatch it so so strange. i was right with my original notes, their relationship does not read nearly as scary from the scott pov and im really wondering why this is. My first theory was that it was an editing style thing or a background music thing or maybe the specific scenes that are missing but now that I’m really thinking about it I Dont Know
#bree barks so fucking loud#Ignore me. Insanity#but yeah beyond the first episode or so this rewatch has been a lot more chill in terms of My Emotions#scott is typically off doing his own thing. I only get sad when I think about dialogue thats not even included in his pov#see: ‘that experience is too far away for me to get’ specifically#or the implications of what he’s saying sometimes… what im trying to say is i get why the fh maintag is so pissed abt whatever im doing#you have to think about it a bit to Get It i think. Bc if you just turn your brain off while watching scott 3l its chill#meanwhile in the jimmy pov you get the episode 1 martyn intervention bullshit making you think about it from the start. Does this make sens#deranged.fh.posting
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workshopping butch4butch kabumisu again i think its vital to the bit that a lot of people tend to think only one of them is The butch but they are never totally sure who
#at first glance people are like ok short hair = butch long hair = femme#but then they look closer/with an elfs perspective like well mithrun is older/rugged/ripped (BY ELF STANDARDS) and kabru#has cats eye eyeliner sharp enough to kill and big baby doe eyes so theyre like wait...... maybe....?#meanwhile theyre both just butch in the very gay teenage boy looking je ne sais quoi way. and chilling#sorru to the four people here theres simply not enough extremely specific kabumisu yuri content. 4 me
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Chill, Sub-Commander (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#Teisel#The Captain#Haha yeah good luck with that one#This scenario is basically tailor-made for exactly Zero VUX to be chill about - ZEX included he just has no chill in the other direction lol#The set up of DAX near-missing ZEX because they didn't recognize each other yet has some fun comedy hijinks about it hehe#Literally in the same room! ZEX doesn't know he's there and DAX doesn't know who to look for! Or if ZEX is there yet either to be fair haha#I love ZEX's asides of ''Got Teisel .D Very helpful very useful'' and then - lol#It was kinda like that in his first run as well tho :') Too many disappearances! Weh#But he has DAX now ♪ And Zelnick!! :DD#Which DAX is just ecstatic about lol no hard feelings there at all hahaha#Don't be rude DAX#Zelnick is so sweet honestly hehe <3 Willing to put up with all sorts of VUX silliness hehe#Really gets - well not the full VUX spectrum DAX isn't /disgusted/ by him (at least not visually lol he Is very angry haha)#But still a good range of reactions! Pursuit and not-that to be sure hehehe#Everyone's dynamic is so fuuunnnn ahh <3 ZEX nad DAX sweet and trusting - ZEX and Zelnick heated and adorable#And DAX and Zelnick! What will they be what will they do :3c#Hehe I loved his little bit of anger that he swallowed to keep the peace so measured Captain ♪#Meanwhile DAX is not at all trying to be subtle about how mad he is lol#He's all DX< about it hahaha#Certainly this situation and these circumstances won't affect him at all and he'll stay just as annoyed and aloof from the Captain as always#I'm sure that'll be the case :) Hehehehehe
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What's your interpretation that the left hand of cleric beast is much bigger that the right?🤔

Well, like I've pointed out before, the only explanation I am seeing is blood ministration being done on the left arm!
However, this might get a little more interesting with the Cleric Beasts, because Emilia is also one, yet her arms are symmetrical!
My closest guess to why it happened is because of something Healing Church has been known to do with female bodies. Namely - do some sort of surgery/manipulation/operation on them in order to change their blood type into 'holy blood' one, which they are able to share with the hunters!
English localization team had to use term "groomed" instead of whatever this actually says, and this is definitely going into top 10 of my biggest headaches with mistranslations! As you can see from the Japanese script retranslation ( x ), the meaning is more literal, implying a procedure. I always felt like it would be a surgery on bone marrow, since this is where blood cells are produced, and doctors in Bloodborne could have learned to alter them into having impossible type of blood!
So, as a female cleric, Amelia might have had her first communion with the holy blood as a Blood Saint, instead of generic blood ministration treatment like apparently everyone else has!
I am still not sure why female staff specifically was the Blood Saints, since apparently blood vials are not menstrual blood, as we can learn thanks to Adeline:
Maybe it could have something to do with menstrual cycle, though, because of the whole cycle of moon vs menstrual cycle thing, and Laurence being affiliated with Moon Presence, and then Micolash also stealing his swag and basing his own institution on:
I'd say this is either some sort of deeply rooted superstition within the setting, or in fact, yes, the holy blood links to the Great Ones who put HELLA importance on blood and birth, so being biologically female is crucial for that link to take intended effects.
Ludwig is an interesting case, though! He was SUPPOSED to have blood ministration too, like Laurence or Cleric Beast of the Bridge! Why would not the first Healing Church hunter and the HEAD of their hunters do something so crucial? Especially since Cleric Beast of the Bridge drops the Sword Badge with which you buy Hunter Chief Emblem, implying that this beast is currently what Ludwig used to be? But his left arm is not bigger. In fact, it is even smaller. So I am trying to think of the variants of what had happened here:
1) Ludwig somehow merged with an actual horse, so his anatomy is simply no longer judged through the same lense
2) Ludwig is a leftie, and this is where he holds his Holy Moonlight Sword, so its effect would be a "remedy" for possible arm deformations
3) Ludwig is not a simple beast, but the one with a lot of Kin features, so his anatomy is simply no longer judged through the same lense (+horses are primarily herbivores, and Kin is associated with the flora in the setting, so maybe that's why he went horsegirl mode instead of getting something weak like antlers lol)
4) Ludwig is trans and actually was the first to get Blood Saint treatment rather than regular blood ministration (+we take Adeline's blood from her right arm, and notice that his right arm is a little bigger)
5) Ludwig is a cis man and was the first biological male who attempted to receive Blood Saint treatment instead of regular blood ministration, but that didn't take the intended effect because the gods Be Like That in the setting + his unusual visions and mutation might be the side effect of that and that's why Healing Church stopped doing that with male organisms. Basically, if a male attempts becoming a living factory for the holy blood, it will go "wrong".
6) Combinations of the above points
.....Okay, that went a little unfocused from the initial topic, but you see my points here! Thank you for the ask!
_________________
Bonus ideas:
- Whereas Ludwig is holding the Holy Moonlight Sword in his left hand, Amelia also is grasping the Gold Pendant in her left hand. So maybe nothing was special about her, but holding a special item in the "effected" hand will remedy the asymmetry effect, and had Amelia not been doing that all the time, she'd be asymmetrical too?
- Amelia using recolored model for Bell-Ringing Woman for her appearance might be not accidental, but a fuel for the headcanon that she has Pthumerian blood too, and Pthumerians might simply evolve differently, or traditionally have different way they' go for the blood communition. Off the top of my head, look at Loran Clerics having same sized arms:
Basically, I can answer why Cleric Beasts and the huntsmen have asymmetrical arms, but not why people like Emilia and Ludwig broke the trend despite being the first in line to have blood ministration normally... Because I just have too many ideas, and my preference usually falls towards the most logical ones, but when there are equally logical ideas I become helpless :')
#bloodborne#cleric beast#vicar amelia#ludwig the accursed#bloodborne theory#bloodborne headcanons#use later#ask replies#i actually like the idea that part of ludwig's suffering is just great ones going 'bitch I said I wanted someone with MENSES for this one'#laurence would also not be above using someone as a lab rat but to his honor he clearly used HIMSELF as a lab rat as well dfsjhfdh#but Ludwig being actually the first Blood Saint is interesting!#he could share blood vials with his own knights right on the battlefield#i am just.. Basically Laurence and Micolash (ESPECIALLY Micolash) deeply resenting not being female works sooo well#I had that whole ass post about how creepy Micolash grew about themes of menstruation and birth and female organism in general#and like it scared myself so much that I legit had bone-chilling fear after reading my own shit that night fdshfhds#meanwhile trans Micolash would 10000% lack genital dysphoria and only want things like his former voice or breasts gone#the deeper you dig into bb lore the more you realize men of this setting tend to be really weird towards womanhood and all attached to it#it is just something I dislike to address because toxic fans tend to use it to bully Gehrman fans and tell cis men that BB is 'not for them#but it IS there too so#WHY I AM TAKING NORMAL ASS ASKS TOO FAR#no but when will it end? lol
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spiral abyss floor 10 kicking my ass rn i have failed thrice
#i understand i am perhaps underleveled for this and need to upgrade my characters more.#but also it's so silly because i put neuvi and tighnari on the second half and then my regular squad on the first#and if regular squad (traveler kaeya keqing xiangling) makes it through first half it's with half of them dead and the rest about-dead#meanwhile neuvi and tighnari are just chilling and kill the guy in less than a minute#i'll try switching them hold on mostly it's the multiple targets that's killing keqing i think. or my playstyle. or again the underleveling#woa words#having fun though i think
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the lurkers....
#jupiter.speaks#mha#> im not tagging all of them i gotta get back to work in a min but first. this is from the fighting game theres a photo mode t#> its so fuckin funny to me. kei is so so mad 😭😭 dabi does not gaf and meanwhile. zawa n tomu r just chilling.#> considerin gettin the mic dlc so i can add him in for the bit too#> n i started playin the mha fort.nite game (vs comp cuz im a coward) its so funny#> hell theres another game. idek what type its like dc universe online ahndkdndkdms#> okok time to go. hope everyone os well <3
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Two of the five new rili shrimp died, WHOOPS. I thought the man just really liked that spot. Sigh.
But at least this man said peek boo before I moved the survivors.

#they are now chilling in a cup in the DP tank#which shockingly has a thriving shrimp squad and just got a water change#meanwhile I did a 100% change on the 5 gal which is honestly what I should have done first but. Yknow#the two sixth generation Cherry mutts in there are living their best life rn tho
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Semi-related to the last reblog, my in-game name is indeed "SIDE ORDER" indefinitely until we get a release date for the DLC
IT COULD TAKE MONTHS....Maybe even until 2024...
Or it could be like next week when we hear news
However long it takes, my name will NOT change, so hello if you see me out there!
#SquidRambles#ME CLAWING @ THE DOOR PLS DEVS...EVEN IF IT'S FAR OUT#JUST LET US KNOOOW /bricked#I am so sad we got the first DLC so fast and then they're dead silent on even an estimate for the 2nd one#Meanwhile Pokemon's DLC is laid out simply as Fall and Winter#Ours could be anywhere from Fall to legit Spring 2024 or something and we'll never know#'it'll come when it comes chill' I KNOOOW I AM CHILL REALISTICALLY I am just excited /dies
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Not trying to be mean or catty, but I know it will come off as such so I’m tagging accordingly. The two ways I can realistically* see St*ncy playing out at this point are:
Jonathan dies and Steve gets a repressed bisexual Cat on a Hot Tin Roof thing going with Nancy (aka the Sad Stoncy scenario) (this might actually work eventually if they talk about their feelings).
Nancy gets with Steve because things are too complicated with Jonathan, who has his own issues to deal with and moves away from Hawkins. Only it turns out Steve has some of the very same issues re: not knowing what to do with his life. They’re not all tangled up in complicated family dynamics and ACEs, which should make things simpler, but they’re also harder to address because Steve is just fundamentally not that invested in deriving a lot of meaning from a career/education at this point in his life. He was kind of hoping that being with Nancy would change that, too, so he’s pretty frustrated himself! She tries to encourage him to go to community college or find something to do near Emerson, but he keeps putting it off. Worse case scenario, he gets it into his head that the solution to everything is to get back into his dad’s good graces and take a position at the…business factory? Which is obviously way worse to Nancy than her 20yo boyfriend goofing off for a while. They break up during the summer after her first year at Emerson after having an argument prompted by the movie St. Elmo’s Fire. It’s a relief to both of them at that point.
*Realistically to me personally. I don’t expect the show to share my vision.
#anti stancy#in the second scenario Jonathan takes a gap year and accidentally joins a weird desert cult for a while#he gets fed up with it after a few months because of all the group activities#and has to get argyle/Eden/his family to bail him out#harrowing but ultimately a good learning experience for everyone#I mean not for Eden. she told him it was a cult!#but did he listen. no.#argyle also joins the cult but he’s so unaware of its cultishness#that it wraps back around to him being impervious to their control techniques#he just left one day because he decided to take up knitting and went to the craft store a few towns over#and he visits Eden and she’s like did you leave Jonathan at the cult#and argyle’s like first of all it’s a normal commune#second of all Jonathan was too busy to go to Joann’s with me#due to The Ritual#meanwhile Will’s chilling with El back in Hawkins#and he’s like of course I’m concerned but it’s kind of nice to be the sibling who’s NOT in a weird mind control sitch for once#and El’s like I joined a gang once!!!
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working on so many projects
tag yourself i'm "swap auuu"
#grim guys night has two scrapped versions already and frankly i'm losong it it's genuinely the hardest to figure out#cause see. the grim GIRLS. they All Get Along (relatively)#dashi lillian and viktor are all Chill with each other. they all chill with lamia (one of them is dating her so like. come on)#they're all Decent with theatre. lillian has a Very Specific connection to him and viktor has something similar but dashi and lamia know#Fuck All about him and his past so they don't ask questions yk#MEANWHILE. lars out here being darwin's MURDERER and natquik being the Weirdest and Most Offputting Old Man to ever Offputting Old Man#natquik is actually chill and a good guy don't get me wrong but it's his vibes. nearly nobody but like. dashi and philliam. actually know i#philliam's like their Boss too and as friendly as he is there's always going to be that Gap in authority that makes it weird at best#not to mention whatever darwin has going on with. everything. none of the grims really respect him like. at all. he's the Outcast#I did at some point put theatre in with them but then I Remembered and he was the ONE PERSON who really made sense other than Dashi#but dashi was obviously occupied with The Girls so here we are. I might head back to Lars.#grim guys night more like grim Holy Shit These Men Are So Uncomfortable With Each Other#my best argument for having lars instead of philliam is that natquik and lars Sort of get along ??#like they were among the first grims and they were often left alone at the manor and they share common traits and similar linking people#darwin and lars being. victim and murderer is faucijn wild though so i suppose natquik is just. the buffer. the wall. he keeps lars out of#darwin's line of sight or something#this one is the hardest from a logic standpoint ... these three guys would NOT hang out alone but this is the prompt and i can't stray from#it. yeah the art itself is pretty easy !! and fun actually !! but My God. The Canon.#also philliam is kind of out of the question because the whole idea is that everyone is On Break.#being On Break WITH your boss just doesn't. sit right.#yeah in some circumstances it kind of works but in THEIR profession?? they need time AWAY from him i am so sorry
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Every time a tsukasa stan insults emu or nene I put a single pebble in a jar and when that jar fills up colopale will kill tsukasa off
#rui stans r normally chill & fine I don’t really see bad takes from them but 50% of tsukasa stans are the most irritating people alive#i love tsukasa dearly. I’m just a professional hater.#‘emu is mid’ ‘emu and nene have worse vocals than tsukasa’ ‘nene is the worst character for being mean to tsukasa’#that’s 3 pebbles. count ur days tsukasa!#also love and light (early) tsukasa did NOT have the best vocals they were. not good.#i refused to play king or fixer w/out the VS covers until the wxs brainrot started and then I found his singing endearing#meanwhile the first alt vocals I got in the game before I gaf abt the characters was nene racing into the night
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all i want for christmas is you! a gojo satoru fic

pairing ⸺ bf!gojo x reader
summary ⸺ after a well needed rest from the kids, you and your boyfriend focus on baking christmas cookies for your pta responsibilities. however, it ends up taking a naughty twist when satoru finds out the surprise you've planned out for him.
warnings ⸺ FLUFF, smut in the form of fingering and p i v sex, reader has a vagina, fem reader implied, some jealousy, but mostly crack, pta cookie baking for megumi, very domestic, not edited, “good girl,” teasing, use of pet names like “baby,” gojo is a warning in himself
a/n hbd to my husband and loml 😚😚 i hope you guys enjoy this it kind of made me realize only long fics heal my soul but this is anticipation of holidays :33
general masterlist
You sometimes did not know what to do with Satoru.
When he told you to come over to make Christmas cookies that are part of his PTA commitments for Megumi, you really didn’t expect him to come out of his room with that sweater on. It’s an ugly sweater—so he’s got the holiday spirit nailed down—that has printed “BIG PACKAGE JUST FOR YOU.” Below it, a cartoon Santa stood pantsless, strategically holding a neatly wrapped gift box over his crotch.
You give him a look as he comes out to join you in the kitchen. “Please don’t tell me you wore that in front of Tsumiki and Megumi.”
He has the gall to look offended as he puts on his even stupider “Your opinion wasn’t on the recipe” apron. “Of course, what kind of father do you think I am?”
You sigh, moving to put in the last of the dry ingredients. “I saw Megumi watching Breaking Bad on his iPad last week.”
“What?” he gasps dramatically as he pauses while moving for the fridge. “I swear I downloaded Youtube Kids!”
Look, Satoru is a good dad. Foster-dad. Whatever. He’s been taking care of Megumi and Tsumiki for ages now, ever since that incident happened, and he’s been doing his best. But, unfortunately, his adult life and burdens and responsibilities cause him sometimes to be a absent father. He makes up for it—goes shopping with Tsumiki for her clothes, spends quality time with Megumi.
One thing he’d never miss, however, are those PTA meetings.
He is the PTA mom final boss. No matter what event is being held, he’s going to go all out. You don’t miss the smirk he gives to Karen everytime he brings an even bigger cookie platter for Megumi’s homeroom than she did for her son Sam’s, nor the sassy pursed lips as he donates artist-grade markers from Michael’s instead of Mia’s cheap ones from Walmart.
Yea, he is just petty like that, but it’s always the moms whose sons have gotten into fights with Megumi that he outdoes everytime. You know better than to question his peculiar form of revenge.
“I think that means he found a way to break through the parental controls. He’s definitely your kid,” you reply with a bit of mirth in your voice. Then, you quickly move to intercept Satoru’s journey to get the eggs as soon as you notice a miniscule movement of his. You were not about to let Satoru force another trip to Whole Foods with the clumsiness you’re all too familiar with in your five years of dating.
Grabbing the eggs before he can, you turn around to find him staring at you, a dazzled look on his face.
“What?” you ask, already smirking. The view of the outfit you’d worn today had been obscured by the apron when he first came in, but when you moved to get the eggs in front of him, he definitely got a view of your ass in your tiny red skirt and fuzzy, festive top.
“Why the hell are you wearing a sexy Mrs. Claus outfit?”
“I was thinking we’d watch Christmas movies and chill today after the cookies!” you exclaim, just as Satoru interrupts with, “We’re baking cookies for children, you freak.”
The room went dead silent.
Your cheerful smile dropped instantly. Meanwhile, Satoru’s face lit up like he’s just won the lottery, full of pure glee.
Both of you shout at the same time, “What?”
You slam the eggs down onto the counter with just enough force to make him flinch, narrowing your eyes at him. “Excuse me? Did you just call me a freak?”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” he yelped, backpedaling so fast you were surprised he didn’t trip over his own feet. “It’s just—” He gestured wildly at you. “—that outfit is… is…”
“Is what?” you demand, crossing your arms and daring him to dig himself deeper.
“Babe,” he starts to whine, apologetic like a wet dog and padding his way back over to you while pulling you in for a back hug. “It’s hot, okay? Don’t get me wrong, it’s driving me crazy. I’m trying to focus on cookies, and you’re over here looking like every Christmas fantasy I didn’t know I had.”
“Get off me,” you grumble, shooting him a glare as you try to shake him off. “You are not touching these cookies. Sit on the couch.”
He yelps as you slap his hand. “Babe, but I’ll just be reinforcing the patriarchy if I let you stay and do all the work in the kitchen.” Then, he moves closer to your ear like the chronically online loser he is and whispers, “6’ 3’’ btw.”
“Go away!” you shriek, waving him off. This process would indeed be two times faster if Satoru was on his couch. There wasn’t any rush, but you’d really appreciate getting to the dicking-down part of tonight after much appreciated privacy from the kids for the first time in forever. You take a mental note to thank Yuji’s grandpa and Nobara’s grandmother with extra cookies for the sleepover as you shoo your boyfriend to the couch.
You get back to work on the wet ingredients by cracking the eggs, but not before you hear a “I’ll be reflecting on the systematic oppression women face in the workforce.”
Pulling off the oven mitts on your hands, you wash your hand but not without sneaking a peek over the kitchen counter. You were locked in on the cookies, paying no mind to Satoru’s existential bemoaning, and now that you’re done, you can’t wait for the fun part of tonight.
After waiting a few minutes and checking and rechecking the cookies to make sure they’re done, you set them aside to cool and make sure to turn off the oven. Tonight, you were determined to get that big fucking package Santa owed you, and your boyfriend was going to be the one to deliver it.
As you walk out, you know the strat you’re going to use: innocently suggest a Christmas movie to watch, snuggle close to him, and he’ll fall into the trap you set for him like a bear towards honey. You know your boyfriend all too well, and today, you were feeling coy.
He’s stretched out on the couch, scrolling on his phone, his posture as awful as ever. But the second he hears your footsteps, his head snaps up. His eyes immediately dart to the movement of your bare legs, lingering on the tiny red skirt you’re still wearing, before slowly traveling back up to your chest. Wow. He really wasn’t making this difficult.
You plop down next to him while grabbing the remote, pulling up Netflix. “What movie should we watch today?”
He blinks, clearly distracted. “We’re watching a movie?”
The Princess Switch catches in the side of your eye as you scroll through the options. Without looking at him, you answer, “Yes? What else were we going to do?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he drawls, his voice already dipping into that teasing tone you know so well. “Maybe something that doesn’t involve Vanessa Hudgens playing herself two times.”
You roll your eyes, nudging his shoulder with your own. “Don’t knock it till you try it, Mr. Holiday Spirit.”
His gaze doesn’t leave you, though, and when you finally glance at him, his expression has shifted. He’s not teasing anymore. His eyes are a little darker, his lips twitching like he’s holding back a grin. “What?” you ask, already smirking.
“Nothing,” he says, his voice lower now. “Just... you look really good in that outfit.”
Your cheeks heat, but you play it off with a laugh. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Satoru.”
“Won’t it?” he murmurs, leaning a little closer, his hand brushing against your knee. The heat of his palm lingers even after he pulls it away, and you feel your heart skip a beat.
You’re about to respond—something witty, something to keep the banter going—but then his hand moves again, this time resting firmly on your thigh. “You’re really going to make me sit through a Christmas movie when you look like that?” he asks, his voice a low rumble.
Your breath hitches, and you can’t help the way your body reacts, leaning just a fraction closer to him. “What would you rather do?” you challenge, your voice softer now.
His gaze dips to your lips, and that’s all the invitation he needs. In a second, he’s closing the distance, his mouth pressing against yours in a kiss that’s anything but sweet. It’s hungry and demanding, like he’s been waiting for this all day, and when his hand slides higher up your thigh, you realize you’ve completely forgotten about the movie and the preview playing. Satoru, clearly a little annoyed judging by the pout on his face, moves to close the preview featuring Vanessa Hudgens’ obnoxious British accent and then the room is silent except for the wet sounds of your sloppy kissing.
When you’ve both made out for a while—now with you on his lap—you both pull back with fastened breaths, looking at each other’s glistening lips. Finally, from Satoru comes out a, “That. I wanted to do that.”
Maybe it’s the attention whore in you always looking to rile up Satoru and get his affection, but you couldn’t refrain from blurting out a “Are you sure you wanted to do this with me, or would Linda have sufficed?”
At the scrunch of Satoru’s nose, his face practically spells out a Who the fuck is Linda? “You know, the one that gets really friendly with you when I’m going to the bathroom at those PTA meetings.”
Satoru sometimes did not know what to do with you.
Here he is, trying to make out with you when you’re looking like that, makeup done perfectly and looking beautiful as always. He hasn’t gotten laid with you in a hot minute, and here you are, picking at him. He has no fucking clue who Linda is, but what he does know is that you’re really cute when you get jealous. “Yeah?” he teases, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, his fingers lingering against your cheek. His grin is maddeningly smug, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement. “Linda sounds nice. Should I call her up?”
Your jaw drops, but the sharp retort forming in your head is lost when his hand slides from your cheek to your neck, his thumb brushing lightly along your jawline. He leans closer, his breath warm against your skin. “You know,” he continues, his voice a low murmur, “if you’re jealous, you could just say so.”
“I’m not jealous,” you shoot back, your voice unconvincing even to yourself. You shift under his gaze, trying to keep up the façade, but it’s hard when his lips hover so close to yours.
Satoru’s grin widens. “No? Then why are you bringing up some imaginary PTA Linda when I’m clearly only interested in you?” His lips press against the corner of your mouth, a slow, deliberate kiss that makes your breath catch.
“You’re clearly only interested in being annoying,” you quip, but the words lack their usual bite as his hand slips lower, trailing down your side until it rests on your bare thigh. His touch is firm, possessive, and it sends a shiver through you.
“Annoying?” he echoes, his tone mock-offended. “That’s a big word for someone who just ruined a perfectly good makeout session to talk about Linda.”
You glare at him, but the effect is ruined when his thumb begins tracing lazy circles on your thigh. “I didn’t ruin anything,” you argue weakly.
“Didn’t you?” He dips his head, his lips brushing against the sensitive spot just below your ear. “Because now, instead of kissing you like I want to, I’m stuck reassuring you that Linda doesn’t stand a chance against my very sexy, very jealous girlfriend.”
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you, but it turns into a soft gasp as his teeth graze your skin, his tongue soothing the faint sting. “You’re insufferable,” you mutter, but your hands betray you, tangling in his hair and tugging him closer.
“Mm, but you like it,” he murmurs, his lips trailing down your neck. His free hand slides higher, skimming under the hem of your skirt, his fingers teasing against the soft skin of your hip. “Admit it.”
“Shut up,” you manage, though your voice is breathless now. He’s too close, his scent overwhelming, his touch setting your nerves on fire. When his hand tightens on your thigh and he pulls you closer, you give in, letting him capture your lips in a kiss that’s all desperation.
Linda, whoever she may be, is long forgotten as Satoru kisses you like he’s trying to make up for every second you’ve spent apart. His hands roam, his touch firm and confident, and when he pulls back just enough to murmur against your lips, “You’re all I want,” you believe him completely.
A breathless “Satoru” leaves your lips as he gently–but hurriedly–lowers you down to lay on the couch while he bends over you, inching down the hem of your top to bury his head in your tits. “Oh my god,” he groaned. “I missed my girls.” He starts to leaves rough kisses, an occasional bite and suck, and then stops. Takes in a deep breath. “Wow, you smell good babe.”
You look at him, flustered. “Stop smelling my tits, oh my god.” For good measure, you grab his hair to bury his face against your breasts once more.
“No,” smooch, “it’s,” smooch, “smelling good. Like the new holiday scents from Bath and Body Works.” He then abandons your chest to kiss his way down your body, sliding your skirt down as he kisses around the edge of your panties. “I’ve missed her, too.”
Despite yourself, you moan, spreading your legs to give him full access. He takes it enthusiastically, giving you a little kiss in your middle. Then, his eyes don’t leave yours as he uses his teeth to pull your panties down, slowly and sultry. Your pussy leaks even more, and the motherfucker notices, because there’s a faint smirk on his face as he hones back in your wetness, running his fingers to spread your slick. “Wow, my girl must have been sooo pent up,” he croons, eyes not leaving your hole and the way it clenched every time he spoke. “My good girl is soo desperate.”
Without missing a beat, you sneakily reply, “Don’t call me that, that’s so corny oh my god—-“ You’re interrupted with your own gasp as he enters a finger in. When he finally curls it, hitting your g-spot dead on, you suck in your breath. You really missed this.
“Oh, really?” He giggles, clearly amused by you trying to rile him up. “If my baby doesn’t like being called a good girl then why is she clenching so hard on my—“ thrust— “fingers?”
And suddenly the feminist in you leaves as his big, thick fingers ram into you faster than ever, and you start squealing like the slut you are for your incredibly hot boyfriend who’s equally as much of a slut for you, judging based on the rock hard erection against your thigh. Take that, Linda.
You’re in a daze of pleasure, too fucked out to notice Gojo wrenching down his sweats to pull out his throbbing cock, to pump it to full mast. It’s only when he rips his finger away from your cavern that you start to whimper, clawing at his arms to continue fingering you.
And he starts cooing, giving you a small kiss on your cheek as he aligns his dick with your pussy. “I know baby, I know,” and he groans as the soft, wet heat of your pussy grips on him hard as he pushes in. It’s not long before he starts thrusting, wiping your tears while driving in even faster. “Wow, good fucking pussy.”
“Satoru,” you whine, but you don’t even know for what. You were close enough when he was fingering you, but now you’re steadily approaching your climax. But Satoru, who’s attuned to what your body needs, readjusts himself to go even deeper.
It’s when you gasp loudly that a glint lights up in his eyes. “That’s the spot, isn’t it?” He drives into that spot like a jackhammer, savoring in your little squeals and moans of his name, until finally, he feels you climax.
“Oh my god,” you says breathlessly as your orgasm takes over you, convulsing while Satoru doesn’t let up, continuing his pace until his hips become more sloppy. After a few off rhythm thrusts, he comes in you, collapsing on top of you.
He’s breathing heavily from exertion, and you run your nails on his back and hair gently. You both bask in the glow of your orgasm. Of course, that is until Satoru perks his head up. “Do you think I can eat that kid Martin’s cookie? Megumi told me he doesn’t like him and that he’s annoying—-OWWW, what was that for?”
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