#their whole being is just meant to be enslaved what the heck with that ; - ;

[ryllen]

just a boy with his house elf

[jonathankatwhatever]

It’s 15 June 2024. I’m thinking about what I think about you, which is another version of the same model image, and I realized that my issue, if that is remotely close to the correct word, is that you’re not you in the same way I’m not me. I’ve said this many times before, and I mean it differently but the same each time. Now I mean - and words are not flowing this morning - that if I follow the math, then I see another rendition of the Triangular disc drawing where the fD spins and one of an HG, meaning the same drawing displaced a half visually. That is an expression of the model vision in which there are 2 Boundaries, so we have a circle in a circle, sphere within sphere, and a point on the outer connects to a point on the inner. This means not only pairing but we can treat any pairing as a removal, so we can say we’re making Cantor sets. We can also say we’re generating the versions of the reals which relate to whatever pairing.

That last was difficult. I think it means that when we have a pairing, that pairing has contexts, and those contexts invoke the real contexts, meaning real numbers that associate over the 1-0Segment generate out of the larger reals.

I’m worried about this notation. For some reason, I’m not translating this into a universe. In my eyes, a JvN or Zermelo universe is built from within because it’s ordinal within a Boundary. This is more that the Boundary is n, meaning n-uncountable, and we cut out n-1, and that becomes the Boundary for what’s ordinal within it. We can iterate and develop statistics, but again, that’s saying the n-1 is contextual, which is back to SBE and fCM within D-structure.

This idea seems pretty obvious now, so my guess is this flips something obvious, like whether V = L, which it does and does not because of the nature of Triangular and gs counting. We resolve the ambiguity in the idea by providing the enclosure in which it happened.

BTW, I was watching a discussion about a couple which passed as master and slave before the Civil War, and the use of ‘enslaver’ instead of master bothered me. No one ever used enslaver. That the word master has many uncomfortable connotations is exactly why it was used. Why lose that? The word enslaver dehumanizes the relationship, and you can see that in the subject being an actual couple: the concept of master and slave applied across marriage, with its ownership conceptions, or as a master in command or a master of one’s self coupled with a slave to desire or a slave to love. All those associations to analyze abstracted to bad character enslaver. It is to me exactly that as actual slavery has faded, mental slavery hangs on. Why? Slavery is a Thing and obviously the Thing extends far past the Actuality.

If you look at the etymology, I see that master became a diminutive for mister as that term became more popular. The idea in that is to impose obligation: that to say we are equals, like the term brother or sister, is meant to say act as equals. And that translates to treat this diminutive master as a master, which also meant the same should apply from master to the other. This is an example of what I’ve just been typing, with the contextual ordering.

I need to go back to bed. The point about not being you is that model as well. I can almost see the words to say how that works. I can say the HG and fD relationship does this, but there’s a word or concept missing in the way this translates into D-structure, which I assume is necessary because the model issue is the way the Actuality connects to the model or ideal structure. I can see this almost as a Banach-Tarski, that we construct a whole and from that there are other balls and vice versa. Is that clearish? It explains a heck of lot for me personally, so I have to believe it’s correct.

[swtorpadawan]

Secret Messages

Author’s Note: The following story takes place sometime between chapters 13 and 16 of “Knights of the Fallen Empire”.

“That will be all everyone. Thank you.” Corellan Halcyon, the Alliance Commander concluded the meeting with the assembled command staff in the main conference room in the operations wing.

Vette gathered up her data pads. In less than two weeks, she’d made a place for herself here on Odessen. The skills she’d developed years ago as part of Kael’s old crew had netted her the position of communications specialist, which meant she had the chance to see the inner workings of the Alliance’s command structure first-hand. Indeed, Vette was one of only two aides present – the other being the Commander’s little AstroMech droid, Teeseven. Given that the Alliance was only a few months old, and that it was essentially a “motley” collection of defectors from the Republic, the Sith Empire, Zakuul and various other factions throughout the galaxy, she found it very impressive. The people here were motivated; despite their differences, everyone wanted to take down the Eternal Throne, and incredibly, everyone seemed to trust that the ‘infamous Outlander’, this former Jedi Master, would be the one to do it.

After seeing him in action on Vandin, Vette found that she was starting to believe it, too.

As people made their way towards the exit – led by Doctor Oggurobb (how the heck could any Hutt possibly move that fast?) – the Commander looked over at her.

“Oh, Vette. Do you have a minute?”      

Vette blinked, surprised that the Commander – Corellan, he’d asked to be called while in private – would call on her. She nodded over to him in acknowledgement, feeling a brief upswell of anxiety as she waited for the others to clear out. She knew perfectly well that the feeling was a legacy of having been enslaved twice in her life but knowing that didn’t ease her nerves.

Which was funny. The Commander was entirely different than anyone else she’d worked with. He was barely older than she was, but she looked up to him. Honestly, Corellan Halcyon was one of the nicest people she’d ever met. He never got angry or even raised his voice with anyone and whatever frustration he experienced only seemed to manifest as steely resolve. She’d have thought – having watched Kael in action years ago – that all this would have made for a weak leader.

It didn’t. If anything, it just made people not want to disappoint him.

So for a moment, Vette felt nervous that she’d somehow disappointed him.

Weird that I thought he’d be like Quinn. she mused to herself. The stick-up-his-ass Imperial officer had been the most repressed man Vette had ever met. More than once, she’d speculated aloud that Quinn could have made a good Jedi had he been a Force-sensitive born in the Republic. This had proven an excellent way to antagonize him, which, of course, only encouraged Vette.

Good times.

As the room emptied save for herself, Corellan and Teeseven, Vette made her way over to him, clutching her datapads. He’d been standing at the middle of the table during the meeting while Lana Beniko and Theron Shan sat at his right, with Teeseven at his left. Come to think of it, he was the only person in the room who’d remained standing during the entire meeting. His place at the table didn’t even have a chair.

Weird.

“Uhm. Is there a problem with the communiques, Commander?”

Corellan, who had been looking down at his own datapad, turned towards her.

“Hmm? Oh, no. Not at all, Vette. You’ve been doing excellent work.” He smiled at her reassuringly. “I’m glad you chose to stay with us.”

Vette exhaled in relief, not realizing she’d been holding her breath.

“Great. Great. Thanks. So… uhm. You wanted to talk?”

“Right. Its rather awkward.” Corellan turned to look down at Teeseven. “Tee, can you load that message from yesterday?”  

Teeseven beeped his approval, apparently requiring no more clarification than that. A second later, the Commander’s data pad chimed. He pressed a button.

“So I received this direct message in error. It’s probably related to the new directory security system Theron just setup. But it was apparently intended for you.”

He handed the pad over to Vette who looked down at the text.  

From: Avus Dayne

Subject: My blue flower

Vette,

You don’t know me, but I’m a pilot with the Alliance fleet. I noticed you the second you stepped on Odessen, and I've been watching you from afar ever since.

Sorry, that's creepy, isn't it?

Anyway, I wrote a poem:

‘My flower of blue,

I pine for you.

Your laugh is so cute,

And your head tentacle things are also cute.’

It needs work. But the point is, I think you're pretty and I was wondering if you want to get a drink together.

If you don't, tell me and I'll leave you alone forever.

Avus (that's my name)

“Uhm. Wow.” Vette felt her cheeks turn faintly purple with a blush.

She was embarrassed. Part of her wondered if she should be offended. It was just a little creepy, sending someone a message – much less a poem! – out of the blue like that. Then again, Vette had met more than her share of real creeps over the course of her life. She didn’t get that sort of vibe from this letter.

The Commander waited a beat before continuing.

“Now this is none of my business, you understand.” Corellan added, his voice amicable. “I’m only talking to you now because the message was addressed to you, so I felt you deserved to see it.” He paused. “He did send me a follow-up message, that I’m willing to share with you, but only if you’re interested.” Corellan glanced down at the pad. “Just click the ‘Next Message’ button.”

Vette pursed her lips for a second, chewing that over, then overcome by curiosity she finally tapped the pad.  

From: Avus Dayne

Subject: DO NOT READ PREVIOUS MESSAGE

My sincerest apologies, Commander. That message was not intended for you. Please delete it without opening.

But if you did read it... Do you think I have a shot?

Vette chuckled at the words, taken with the awkwardness of this guy. The messages were ridiculous, but at the same time, they were so earnest, too.

“Huh.” She finally said.

Corellan regarded her for another second, giving her a moment to think about things before pressing on.

“Like I said, its none of my business. I was just passing these on to you. I haven’t responded to him. Nor do I plan to do so unless you ask me to.”

“Uhm. Well. Thank you.” she exhaled, relieved that this situation hadn’t become more complicated.

Vette was feeling disconcerted by the whole thing. Until a few years ago, Vette hadn’t been used to people expressing an ‘interest’ in her. She’d spent most of her life in the shadow of more conventionally attractive women like Tivva, Risha and Taunt. All three had been sisters and like-sisters to Vette, but she’d always envied their confidence and their looks, and the attention they’d drawn. Then later there was Jaesa – never a friend, but another young woman who’d made her feel insecure. Vette had had a crush on Kael; she could admit that to herself now. But she’d eventually stifled it. He’d been nice to her, or at least nicer to her than most of her employers over the years, but she had no illusion about who he was what he could do. He had not been a nice guy. Jaesa was welcome to him, for all the good it had done either of them in the end. That had been years ago, though, and most of the people she and Gault had dealt with since then weren’t the type she wanted to be involved with. Not in that way.

Still, she had felt more comfortable about life in general in the weeks since she’d joined the Alliance…

She looked back down at the datapad.

“So. Uhm. What do you think?” she asked aloud.

“I’m sorry, what do I think regarding what?” Corellan raised an eyebrow.

Vette nibbled her lower lip. She’d never imagined having a conversation like this with a Jedi. Or ex-Jedi, even.

“I mean, do you think I should meet him? For a drink, or whatever?”

The Commander blinked.

“Well. I was a Jedi, Vette.” He explained himself. “Even if I’ve left that life behind, I’m probably one of the least qualified people to ask about things like that.” He looked down wistfully. “With the exception of my association with one rather philandering field medic, I have little experience with… uhm, courtship.” Corellan stammered a bit near the end, as if he had been trying to find the words, awkwardly.

It was funny to think of the Commander, who she’d personally seen storm through legions of Sky Troopers, as awkward about anything. He normally exuded confidence and poised.  

“Yeah.” Vette swallowed. “Me neither, actually.”

Vette winced. That was way too personal a thing to say. She and the Commander hardly knew each other.  

“But uhm. What are your… impressions of him, I guess?”

“Well.” Corellan took the datapad again and clicking back to the original message and considering. “I must say he sounds sincere to me. And he seemed a reputable individual from his personnel file, for whatever that’s worth. There was nothing to suggest he would do anything unpleasant to someone he was working with.”

Vette started to nod in appreciation, then stopped herself, noting what he’d said.

“You, uhm, read his file?”

“I did.”

“Because his message went to you and not me?”

“No, not at all. I look over everyone’s file.”

Vette blinked. The Alliance was still small compared to the other galactic powers, but all told, they still had hundreds of members by now, with more signing up every day.

“Everyone’s? I mean, that must take you forever.”  

Corellan frowned a bit, gathering his thoughts.

“Well, I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I haven’t been able to meet everyone in person, yet. We send so many of our people out on missions at any given point and there just isn’t enough time. But learning their face and their name, that at least is a start. For me, anyway. So every evening when I head back to my quarters, I have Teeseven load up some personnel files.” He smiled affectionately, patting the chassis of the AstroMech droid’s top. “It takes some time but it’s worth it and it makes for good bedtime reading.”

His expression had softened, his light blue eyes dwelling on a less complicated time.

“The idea that there are people working for me, even fighting for me, who I don’t even know is… well that’s a new one for me. It’s one more thing I’ll have to get used to, I suppose.”

Vette found herself charmed by this sentiment, though it also concerned her just a bit. In her experience, people in positions of power rarely did things like personally checking on every who worked for them. If he was losing sleep over minutiae, that could be bad for everyone.

For the moment, she kept on track.

“And you remembered Avus, just from skimming his file?”

He shrugged, indifferently.

“Actually, I don’t forget anything.”

Vette’s eyes widened.

“That’s a neat trick.” She whistled. “Is that from being a Jedi?” she hadn’t recalled Jaesa ever demonstrating instant recall like that.

“Thank you. And no. Its just something I’ve always been able to do.” Corellan shrugged again.

“Well, I wish I could do that.” Realization came to Vette, as she attempted to digest all of this. She eyed the Commander worriedly.

“So… you’ve probably read my file, too.”

“Well, yes.” He’d obviously picked up on her concern but seemed non-plussed about it, not comprehending the bantha in the room Vette had been hinting at.

“Uhm.” She paused but couldn’t leave it alone. “You must know I used to work for Kael.”

Corellan nodded with understanding, his face growing somber.

“I do.”

She looked up and regarded him.

“You still trust me with… your communications? And the field work, and everything?”

Corellan Halcyon’s face finally relaxed. This seemed familiar ground for him.

“You’ve given me no reason to think I shouldn’t. And the quality of your work speaks for itself. We couldn’t have raided the Gilded Star without you.” He spoke confidently, then gave her a reassuring look. “Vette, what happened between myself and Kael was never personal for me. Yes, he did things I considered monstrous, but so did nearly every other Sith Lord I’ve fought. He had his reasons for fighting Revan after Vitiate rejected him. When we finally fought on Yavin, I felt his rage and the pain behind it. And I exploited those weaknesses to beat him.”

He sighed in regret.  

“I truly regret that I couldn’t find another way. But there were countless lives on the line and I still had to deal with Revan. And the Emperor. So it went the way that it did.”

Corellan’s light blue eyes re-focused on Vette.

“For what its worth, I’m sorry. I know you weren’t working for him at the time, but that had to have been difficult when you heard what happened.”

Vette looked down at the table. Those were old wounds. She didn’t want to get into all that right now.

“Someday I’ll tell you about my time with Kael and his crew.” She swallowed. “But for what it’s worth, I don’t hold any of that against you.”

It was Corellan’s turn to nod in relief.

“I appreciate that.”

Vette awkwardly looked down at the datapad again.

“I think… I’ll send him a message. Just to see how it goes.”

The Commander smiled slightly.

“Sounds good.” Then he paused, an idea popping up in his mind. “Oh, but if you do wind up telling him you’re not interested and then he bothers you again, then absolutely come to me. I’ll take care of it if there’s a problem.”

Vette found herself grinning at the offer.

“I wouldn’t think you had much experience in scaring off creeps.” She mused.

A small grin formed across Corellan’s lips.

“I don’t, really. But as it so happens, my personnel resources director is a Sith Lord.” He offered, his eyes sparkling a bit. “She’s very… persuasive when it comes to conflict resolution.”

Vette laughed at that, breaking up what had become a heavy mood. Lana Beniko was the model of professionalism, but she was scary.

“Okay. Well… thanks for talking to me about this. And for being okay about everything.”

“Not at all. Thank you for being here.” His chrono pinged. “Ah. I have to go meet with Hylo to discuss the logistical situation.”

“I’ll leave you to it.” Vette smiled. “I should get back to the war room.”

“Sounds good. I’ll talk to Theron about the bugs in the directory system.”

With that, they parted company.

Vette smiled to herself as she left the conference chamber. She’d meet with this ‘Avus’ guy. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe it wouldn’t. But Vette felt that she’d be okay either way.

It was a good feeling.

Author’s Notes: The mis-sent letter has always been one of my favorite moments in KOTFE.

For the record, in this continuity, Vette does meet with Avus for a drink. He’s nice enough, but she decides he’s not for her. He’s okay with that. They remain friends to this day.

Corellan rarely sits down, except for the pilot seat of his ship. The reason for this will come up some day.

I’ve made references to Corellan’s eidetic memory in the past, but it rarely comes up so directly in a story.

I do kind of ship Vette with someone in this continuity. But that comes much later in my story.

I don’t know how Avus didn’t know that they are called “lekkus”.

Kael was not a nice Sith Warrior. More on him another time. @swtor-writers-guild​ , @swtorshipping​

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 25: Homeworld Bound (originally posted on September 13, 2021)

AN: Here it is everyone, the beginning of the final part of Steven Universe Alternate Future. Before we proceed, I just want to thank all of you for sticking by my side since December of last year and for all the comments & reviews I've been given. It really means the world to me that I'm getting this much attention. But enough heartfelt thank yous, let's get on with the heartbreak.

Synopsis: Afraid that his out-of-control powers will hurt his friends, Steven sees the Diamonds for help.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Sarah Stiles as Spinel

Aparna Nancherla as Lemon Jade

Patti LuPone as Yellow Diamond

Lisa Hannigan as Blue Diamond

Christine Ebersole as White Diamond

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Chert

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Volleyball, Aubergine Pearl

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper, Flint

Olivia Olson as Citrine

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Charlyne Yi as Navy

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Amy Sedaris as Blue Zircon

Ron Perlman as Steven's Inner Voice

--

The past few minutes have been some of the worst minutes of Steven's life. Not only did he accidentally take a life, but it was a life he was so sure he'd try to change in the past to little success. And now, the death of Jasper would weigh heavily on his shoulders as he dipped the shattered gem he was holding into the essence-infused bathwater.

"I'm sorry." Steven sobbed quietly while his tears dropped into the bathtub below him. Suddenly, as if the tears began reacting to the water, the Diamonds' essences began to glow at once and were absorbed into Jasper's gem, allowing the Gem warrior to regain her physical form and re-emerge in the bathtub.

"You-you shattered me." Jasper gasped while examining her broken horn and the breaks in her stripes before looking straight at Steven.

"I'm sorry, it was an accident!" Steven tried to apologize to Jasper. "I should've stopped, I just wasn't thinking!"

"No you weren't." a voice echoed in Steven's thoughts as Jasper stepped out of the bathtub and took a knee.

"I bow to your strength," Jasper declared while bowing her head in recognition of Steven's strength. "my Diamond."

"No!" Steven gasped in horror at what he's done.

"Ooh, this should be interesting." Steven's intrusive thoughts purred with intrigue at this new development.

"Are you in there Steven?" Pearl asked for Steven while knocking on the bathroom door.

"What's going on?" Amethyst added. "If you got any urges you want to let out, just don't gross Pearl out and make a mess of things."

"Amethyst, read the room." Garnet scolded the small Quartz. "Steven, please come out. We're sorry if you felt like we were intruding a few days ago, but you still need to talk to us somehow."

Just then, the three Gems heard footsteps as someone approached the other side of the door and hopefully cleared the way. But instead of Steven opening the door like they expected, it was instead Jasper.

"Wait, Jasper?!" Amethyst yelled in shock.

"What were you doing in there?" Pearl asked. "And where is Steven?!"

"Right here." Jasper answered, stepping aside to reveal a despairing Steven behind her as she gave the Diamond salute of old.

"Where have you been Steven?!" Amethyst asked Steven as he silently walked away and went up the stairs.

"You can't just disappear for three days and not tell us where you went!" Pearl cried out. "Words could not describe how absolutely scared we were for you! And now Jasper pops up out of nowhere and we're supposed to be okay with this?!"

"My Diamond can do as he pleases, peons." Jasper barked at the Crystal Gems. "He doesn't need you around anymore, just like how you don't need him around."

"Why are you calling him that?!" Amethyst yelled at Jasper before she began following Steven. "Steven!" she cried before shooting the bigger Gem a glare. "Just because we're sisters doesn't mean you're safe from the verbal thrashing I'm gonna give you soon."

"Like I care." Jasper rolled her eyes while the four Gems tailed Steven to the Warp Pad at the conservatory. "You've spent your lives following a liar yet when my Diamond refuses to reveal the truth, that's when you decide you need answers?"

As Steven was about to step on the Warp Pad, the Gems tried yet again to stop him. "Steven, wait!" Pearl yelled.

"You don't need to go." Garnet stated. When Steven decided to finally make a reply, he just sighed as he turned pink and began to form a barrier that separated him from the four Gems behind him.

"What the heck is going on!?" Amethyst screamed in shock before she, Garnet, and Pearl began banging on the shield.

"You guys, I know you want to help, but this is where it's gotta stop." Steven declared. "This whole time, I've been avoiding the only people in the universe that can help me now, so nobody follow me."

"I was right, he doesn't need you anymore!" Jasper laughed tauntingly before her pride soon turned to shock.

"You should stop following me too, Jasper." Steven said to the big Quartz, breaking her heart as she sorrowfully watched her Diamond abandon her yet again. "Go on and do something better with your life."

"Steven, before you go, please remember." Garnet urged Steven with a hand against the pink barrier. "We will always be your family."

"You never were." Steven growled as his shadow seemed to gain a mind of its own before he teleported away on the Warp Pad, the warp stream giving off a strange black aura before shutting off.

"Of course my Diamond doesn't want me anymore." Jasper bowed her head in shame and strolled off, but the Gems weren't done with her yet.

"Oh no you don't Jasper, you got some explaining to do!" Amethyst shouted while chasing after her Gem sister. "What were you doing in the bathroom, and what made you call Steven your Diamond?"

"Don't even bother asking me." Jasper sighed before she began to sing. "I tried teaching him a little tip, just three little words: get a grip. But thanks to him, I finally see, those words really do apply to me." As Jasper retreated into the bathroom, Amethyst and Pearl could barely hear her beginning to cry.

"Never seen her this emotional before." Garnet remarked. "And we've never heard her sing before either."

"I think we should just give her some space for a bit." Pearl suggested and realized what she just said. "Wow, that's the first time I've ever said that about Jasper, of all Gems."

"You think Steven meant what he said about us not being his family?" Amethyst asked as she sat down on the couch.

"I'm not sure." Garnet answered. "But there was something about him that I felt is taking control at the wrong moments, poisoning his mind even. Hopefully, he doesn't let this go out of control."

--

Far away from the galaxy Steven called home, the Warp Pad took him to the Gem Homeworld, and it was just as wildly different as he had seen it when he came here with the Off-Colors. Walking through the central city, he could see multiple Gems conversing while a propaganda video blared above him.

"Citizens of Homeworld, Black Rutile is still out there!" the familiar voice of Blue Zircon declared to her viewers while playing clips of Black Rutile's evil deeds, from her shattering of a Bismuth to her invasion of Earth. "Friends, lovers, even your own type could be a spy! I want you to report any and all suspicious activity to the nearest authority figure! Remember, Black Rutile will do anything to enslave our race, but my team and I are still working our hardest to find and stop her plans in their tracks!"

As soon as the clips stopped rolling, Blue Zircon herself appeared on screen with her arms folded and turned to the camera. "I'm Blue Zircon, and I approve this message."

The video ended with Blue Zircon striking a dramatic pose and Steven continued on his way, eventually reaching the Diamonds' throne room where a purple-colored Pearl was leading a tour group and a pair of Jaspers were having a conversation.

"I can't believe there are still Gems who think Zircon is a good candidate, even after her approval rating went down hard thanks to Black Rutile." One Jasper said about a poster of Yellow Zircon to her friend before gesturing to one of Blue Zircon. "Now Zircon, that's a face we can still trust!"

"As you can see, this truly was the center of the Great Diamond Authority's empire throughout the first and second eras." The aubergine Pearl stated to her tour group while gesturing to the Diamonds' massive thrones. "When walking through these storied halls, it can be easy to feel like you too are as mighty as a Diamond." As the Pearl began leading her group away, only three stayed behind. "Now then, if you'll follow me to the gift shop."

Steven recognized the three remaining Gems as Spinel, Volleyball, and that one green fusion from the Era 3 ball not too long ago, and they all were happy to see him. "Steven!" Spinel exclaimed with hearts in her eyes before leaping towards the boy and giving him a big, goofy kiss, accidentally setting the boy off.

"Spinel, what is wrong with you!?" Steven yelled angrily as he turned pink and pushed Spinel off of him.

"Oh, you know, the usual with me and my posse here." Spinel answered while gesturing to the other two Gems.

"How have you been since last we met Steven?" Volleyball asked.

"I've just been going through some things lately, especially after Black Rutile. I keep swelling up and turning pink." Steven answered. "Speaking of which, I've heard from Pearl you were forced to spy on us for her. Feeling alright?"

"I've been getting better." Volleyball wiped a tear from her cracked eye. "So what brings you here?"

"I need to see the Diamonds." Steven replied. "Can you take me to them?"

"No kidding!" Spinel exclaimed. "You've barely called or written to them, what gives?"

"He said he's been going through some things." The big green Gem said. "By the way, hi, Lemon Jade. Remember me from the ball when you and your human friend fused?"

"I'm sorry, but I barely remember." Steven admitted to Lemon Jade. "After Connie and I fused, the rest kinda went by so fast before we were thrown in the tower. And I think you were poofed too. Which reminds me, sorry for getting you in trouble."

"It's fine." Lemon Jade said. "Besides, ever since Era 3 began, we've been unbubbled and made a representative of all cross-Gem fusions on Homeworld. So it's been pretty good for me."

"And speaking of big changes." Spinel stated while turning to look at Citrine leading a chain gang of Holly Blue Agate, Morganite, Navy, and Cat's Eye into the throne room, all of them carrying mops.

"Okay you four, I want this floor sparkling by the time the next tour group comes in." Citrine commanded her four prisoners before turning to notice Steven. "Hey Steven, long time no see!"

"YOU!" Holly Blue yelled and tried to lunge towards Steven. "It's all because of you that I'm a criminal to my own kind! Once Black Rutile terminates you, she will set me free and I will finally be loved again!"

"Don't you mean set us free?" Morganite snarked at the Agate.

"Yeah, no need to make everything about you." Cat's Eye agreed with the pink Gem.

"You're one to talk." Navy rolled her eyes with a smirk.

"AAAAAHHHH SHADDUP!" Holly Blue shrieked to her fellow prisoners before Citrine jabbed her in the neck with a punch, causing her to fall over.

"Well, that just happened." Spinel said nervously as she wrapped her three friends with her arm and dragged them away. "So, if you're having issues with your physical form, I know just the Gem to help!"

--

Before long, Steven was dragged to a massive, yellow-colored workshop by Spinel, where Yellow Diamond was sitting down at a desk as big as she was as she reassembled a shattered Gem by plucking some of its pieces from a bubble containing an inactive Cluster Gem, as a nervous dull orange Gem watched.

"Just one last piece and you'll be good as new." Yellow muttered as she extracted one last piece from the bubble and placed it on a damaged gem, allowing the physical form of a bluish Gem to be restored, albeit with very stretched-out limbs. "Hm, needs a little work."

"Hey, it's okay Flint." The orange Gem comfortingly said to her frightened blue friend.

"Yellow, what are you doing?!" Steven cried out, startling the Diamond before she turned to see him.

"Oh Steven, you startled me!" Yellow said. "I was in the middle of reversing one of my experiments here." She demonstrated her work by picking up the Flint she just repaired and holding her in front of Steven and his three guides. "I couldn't put every piece back together, but here. Observe." With a tap on Flint's head, Yellow's lightning powers miraculously returned the smaller Gem's limbs to a more conventional length and she returned Flint to her friend.

"Look Chert, I'm back to normal!" Flint cheered as soon as she was returned to the desktop.

"Welcome back!" Chert replied and hugged Flint.

"After all the damage I've done these past couple thousand years, I believed the best way to use my powers for good was to fix the Gems I've shattered." Yellow explained to Steven. "Oh, that reminds me, I should make a note to patch up all the Gems making up the Cluster at some point! One more thing, if any of your Quartz friends back on Earth need their horns removed, just send them straight to me. I can permanently change their forms."

"Ooh, do me, do me!" Spinel excitedly ran up to Yellow and held out her arms to be altered while the Diamond reclined with her arm propping herself up

"Hey, I-" Steven tried to speak up, but Lemon Jade quickly cut him off.

"I know you want to speak, but I want to see what she does." Lemon Jade said before Yellow made Spinel's arms overly muscular with her powers.

"She can make my arms really big!" Spinel demonstrated with a flex of her temporary muscles, inciting a giggle from Volleyball. "And she can give me teeny little feetsies too!" Spinel tried to take a step with her incredibly small feet, only to fall over and make Volleyball laugh even louder while Steven got angrier at not being listened to.

"Won't any of you listen to me?!" Steven yelled in irritation.

"Oh sorry, I didn't notice you there Steven." Volleyball apologized.

"Then you have the floor." Yellow declared. "Penny for your thoughts, as Earth says?"

"I think something's wrong with my diamond powers." Steven explained his situation. "I've been turning pink whenever I get super mad, and I sometimes get real big, and I don't know what to do."

"Well, I believe I can help with that." Yellow suggested and held out a charged finger. "Hold still!" She then shrank Steven down to the size of a Ruby.

"No, I don't wanna be small!" Steven cried angrily.

"Okay, then I suppose you want to be larger!" Yellow reiterated before doing just that, angering Steven even more.

"I don't want to be smaller or larger," Steven roared while turning pink and creating a small crater beneath him with a stomp. "I WANT TO BE ME!" His roar sent everyone else in the room falling backwards before he was returned to his normal size by Yellow, who picked up Spinel to return her body to normal.

"What has gotten into you?!" Yellow asked in shock. "If anything's out of control, it's your temper!" She then took a quick moment to joke with Spinel. "Remind you of a certain someone?"

"Yeah, kinda." Spinel agreed with Yellow.

"Classic Yellow, so oblivious to the needs of others." Steven's intrusive thoughts butted in again while noticing the banter between the two Gems before him. "Exactly why your mother left them."

"Will you leave me alone already?!" Steven yelled, but to everyone else, it seemed like he was talking to himself.

"Is something else the matter?" Lemon Jade wondered.

"Sorry, I've also been having, well, it's harder to explain." Steven stated nervously.

"Well, you can be as big or as small as you want to, but your attitude tells me your issues aren't physical." Yellow deduced. "It has to be emotional. In fact, I think Blue Diamond might be better suited for this."

"Blue-Blue-Blue-Blue-Blue-BLUE!" Spinel cheered while zipping around Steven, Volleyball, and Lemon Jade in a circle.

--

In Blue Diamond's room, there wasn't much furniture to be found in the large glass dome other than many dark blue clouds that Gems were able to relax on, like Blue for instance.

"Your powers have been giving you dramatic mood swings?" the Diamond wondered soothingly. "That sounds awfully troubling Steven."

"You should've seen him with Yellow." Volleyball said. "She was trying to help, but he got really mad because he thinks she misunderstood what he said."

"But you don't seem that troubled yourself." Steven observed the room around him.

"That's because of Blue's new powers." Lemon Jade answered as she let herself sink into one of the clouds.

"Back before Pink came back into our lives through you Steven, I wanted everyone to feel the pain I had suffered." Blue explained. "But now, I realize that I'd rather bring joy to others."

"Oh please, blech!" Steven's inner self metaphorically rolled its eyes and made a gagging sound while Blue brought Steven closer.

"At that moment, my tears vaporized into these clouds, bringing pure joy to anyone they touch." Blue stated.

"They're certainly bringing me joy!" Volleyball moaned relaxedly as she curled up into a ball on one cloud. At that moment, another cloud brushed up against Steven and brought him the relief he was wanting for so long, if only for a few moments.

"She has ended lives all over for years, and only now she wants to actually be nice instead of looking nice?" the intrusive thoughts kept grumbling. "Though then again, there is no stopping you no matter how horrible the person."

"Trust us, just hang on and you'll be feeling the good vibes in no time!" Spinel eagerly advised Steven while saddling up on a cloud.

"I think you'd like it." Blue smiled before she began to sing. "Cold palace walls and empty, endless halls, haunted by echoes of laughter." While the song began, Steven began using his shields to push clouds away on the ground. "You gave a pull, and suddenly they're full. You've thrown the gates open after you."

Despite Steven's efforts, the clouds surrounded and formed underneath him, pushing the boy up into the sky as he smiled from its effects and was lifted into the air.

"And swept in with the throng, comes this wonderful song!" Blue continued singing as she rose through the clouds and looked up with her arms spread wide. "My little reason why, I'll never make you cry. Oh, I have got the sweetest things to tell you everyday." She then made little cloud hearts for Spinel to grab onto before beginning to swing from Blue's finger and hugging her head, while Steven's cloud floated on over to the pair, allowing Blue to hold it in her hand. "My little reason why, you make me want to try loving you."

Despite Blue's soothing number, Steven still felt sad despite all she tried to do and began turning pink again. "No no no, this isn't right!"

"My thoughts exactly." Steven's darker persona quipped. "Does she really think everything will be made better in an instant with some stupid song?"

Just then, Steven began to fall off his cloud and down towards the ground, but thankfully, someone was there to save him in the nick of time.

"Hang in there sunshine!" Spinel cried, grabbing Steven in her arms while using her legs like a propeller to fly him safely down to the ground.

"What's the matter?" Blue asked Steven as her cloud floated towards Steven and Spinel.

"Did the song not help?" Volleyball pondered while getting off her cloud.

"It thought it was very sweet." Lemon Jade added.

"I'm sorry, all of you." Steven apologized. "I know you all want to help, but you can't just magically make me feel better."

"Yes I can." Blue tried to be as reassuring as possible. "It's my new power. Plus, it's been kind of like your power for a long time now."

"I don't want to FEEL better!" Steven reiterated hotly while Spinel turned her hand into a pinwheel to blow on. "I want to BE better!"

"I found happiness," Blue stated. "If you think it's not something you deserve, then it must be a problem with your self-worth." Then, she got an idea. "In that case, maybe you should go visit White Diamond about it."

"Oh, White." Steven nervously repeated, not wanting to be reminded of one of his many near-death experiences.

"White Diamond, eh?" Steven's inner darkness once again butted in. "The Gem who basically got off scot-free for nearly killing you. I must say, did you ever instantly forgive her for all she's done like all the others?"

"No, none of them were instantly forgiven! Now leave me alone!" Steven shrieked back, leaving the four Gems confused at what's going on.

"Is he supposed to be talking to someone?" Blue wondered.

"This happened when we were with Yellow too." Spinel answered. "Either he's got an imaginary friend he really hates, or something worse."

--

Finally, there was White Diamond, whom Steven found meditating in her quarters when she opened her eyes to find him standing in front of her with Spinel, Volleyball, and Lemon Jade alongside him, and she was delighted to see him again. "Good to see you again Steven, and perfect timing too!" White greeted the son of Pink while standing up straight. "I've just gotten back from my most recent charitable escapades where I gave a voice to the little Gems, got the assistance of other species in repopulating our old colonies, and helped in weeding out Black Rutile's allies."

"Giving a voice?" Steven pondered what the eldest Diamond said.

"She basically lets Gems take control of her now, instead of the other way around!" Spinel explained for White.

"So like, the opposite of what you did to Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Volleyball?" Steven continued asking.

"I think something along those lines." Volleyball concurred.

"Well, why don't I show you?" White suggested before turning to Spinel. "Care to help me demonstrate, Spinel?"

Spinel let out a loud, excited squeal at the prospect of helping White show off for Steven, causing Volleyball to blush and laugh before the stretchy Gem calmed down. "Yes please." Spinel sweetly complied.

The two Gems then shut their eyes while the room began flashing various colors. Steven had no time to comprehend what was happening before White opened her eyes, revealing that her colors had now become just like Spinel's, and she had the playmate's voice too. "GUESS WHO?!"

"Agh, what is this?!" Steven yelped at how unsettling he found Spinel taking over White's body.

"Isn't it great?!" White and Spinel exclaimed in perfect sync. "Instead of taking control of other Gems, we can control her by channeling our thoughts into her body! As a matter of fact, watch this!" The two then launched into a crazy song and dance that began to shake the whole room, annoying and terrifying Steven even more.

"Even I have to admit, this is pretty terrifying." Steven's darker voice remarked in shock at what Steven was seeing.

"You don't like it?" Spinel asked Steven, taking note of his unnerved expression.

"You seem a little creeped out." Volleyball added.

"I-it's fine." Steven muttered before Spinel relinquished her control over White Diamond, allowing the Diamond to regain control of her body.

"Oh, what fun." White said. "Thank you for your time, Spinel. Now, why don't you and your friends leave the room for a moment while I have a word with Steven?"

"Okay then. See you later Steven." Lemon Jade said as she, Spinel, and Volleyball left White's quarters.

"Don't take too long you two." Spinel poked her head back in for a moment before the doors closed on her, while White turned her gaze to Steven.

"Now, what seems to be the problem exactly?" White asked the boy.

"Ever since Spinel first came to Earth, I feel like I've been getting way too powerful for my own good." Steven explained depressingly. "Random new abilities keep coming out of the blue and making a mess of things for me, and it's, it's making me scared."

"Oh Steven, I'm sure many humans of your age would dream to have your abilities, yet it only worries you." White lent a sympathetic ear. "Do tell me more."

"I'm scared that I'm gonna hurt people, though I guess I already have." Steven continued with his plight. "I keep pushing everyone away from me no matter how much they want to help, and I even," He let out a big sniff as he struggled to reveal a recent development to White. "I even shattered a Gem after going mad with power."

"Wait, shattered a Gem?! Seriously?!" White gasped in shock at how Steven of all people could do such a thing. "Which one was it?"

"You remember Jasper, right?" Steven asked.

"Barely, I've only seen her once recently, at the fountain." White answered. "She had her gem on her nose, right?"

"Yeah, I thought she would be a good mentor to help me get a handle on myself, but things only got worse." Steven replied. "After Black Rutile kept on lying to me about how I'll drive Jasper away like I did with everyone else, or something even worse, she kept feeding us more lies to turn us against each other, and then, and then." Steven couldn't compose himself any longer and was about to burst into a crying fit, but a gentle pat on the head from White's massive finger kept him sane for just a little longer.

"Half a Diamond, half an organic." White mused while sitting down and getting closer to Steven. "In all the universe, I don't think anyone else could know what you're going through, except yourself of course." She gave Steven a little poke. "Would you like to take me for a spin?"

"Okay." Steven began to wipe his eyes in agreement.

"Yes, this is what we need!" Steven's evil half declared excitedly. "Perhaps we could give this hag her just desserts."

With another shut of her eyes, White's room began flashing colors again while Steven began to felt himself getting linked to the massive Diamond before she began to turn various shades of pink, symbolizing that Steven was now in control.

"Whoa, this is so weird!" Steven and White exclaimed as they got a grasp on their shared mindset. "I'm, I'm," His excitement soon turned to shock as Steven began to realize what he had become. "I'm a Diamond."

"That's right." Steven's inner voice declared menacingly, symbolized through White's eyes becoming a pitch black. "The very thing you feared for so long. Isn't this what you wanted to see?"

"No, this is the last thing I ever wanted to see!" Steven yelled as he took back control of White. "Why won't you just go away?!" White smashed a pillar behind her with her fist, and the resulting debris nearly crushed Steven. "Don't hurt me!" Steven exclaimed in fear, when he made a haunting discovery. "Wait, she can't hurt me. I'm controlling her."

"Exactly, why are you so afraid?" the darker side of Steven asked as he took back control of White. "She should be afraid of us!"

Suddenly, Steven and White switched heights while the room turned dark and a booming, evil laugh could be heard. Thanks to being under Steven's control, White began cowering in terror.

"Wh-what's going on!?" White yelled in Steven's voice and tried to run, but she was quickly stopped by invisible chains latching onto her wrists and ankles as Steven lifted her up like a puppet.

"You treated your race like puppets for so long, it's time you see how they feel." Steven announced in a deep voice completely unlike his own. "So, what's it like being a mere plaything to the brat you've bullied for ages now?"

"No, stop, I don't like this!" White exclaimed while she was forcibly steered towards another pillar.

"TOO BAD!" the dark side of Steven cackled evilly while forcing the Diamond to grab onto the pillar and hold her head back.

"Let me go please, you're scaring me!" White screamed.

"This is for everything you put me through, and everyone else too!" Steven bellowed as he prepared to smash White's gemstone against the pillar, but there was something in him that held him back.

"Well, what are you waiting for?!" the evil voice within Steven commanded. "END HER MADNESS, END YOUR SUFFERING! DO IT!"

"Neither of you can control me!" the better man within Steven argued against shattering White once and for all. "Just stop this, I'm begging you!"

"Ignorant baby. Your pacifism will be the end of you!" the evil half snarled. "Fine, if no one else does what you want, you have to do it yourself!" Steven's inner voice took full control over Steven once again and prepared to kill White Diamond, letting out a haunting evil laugh as she was about to shatter herself by smashing her gem against the pillar. Unfortunately for him, the link between Steven and White was broken in the nick of time and the two woke back up in her destroyed sanctum.

"Steven, what happened?" White gasped in horror at what Steven seemingly threatened against her. "Who was that voice? And did you just try to-"

"I-I don't know!" Steven gasped just as terrified before swelling up and turning pink, causing him to run out of the room.

"Wait!" White cried out with an outstretched hand. "Please come back!"

--

As the larger, pinker Steven charged away from White Diamond's room, he happened to pass by the other two Diamonds and Spinel & her friends, who were aghast at his current state.

"Is this what he wanted to talk to me about?" Yellow asked Blue.

"I don't think humans can get tall so quickly." Blue commented while Spinel began to give chase, her legs turning into a figure 8 as she ran behind Steven.

"Yo Steven, did White help you?!" Spinel cried out for her half-human friend, causing him to stop and turn to her, giving Spinel a good idea of what happened by his current appearance alone. "Whoa, not cool, right?"

"Wait a second!" Steven realized as he returned to his normal self before shaking Spinel by the shoulders. "You and your friends were hurt by the Diamonds, how are you so calm?!"

"Oh yeah, they hurt us alright, but it's all pretty good." Spinel chuckled.

"How good exactly?" Steven asked.

"Well, it's all good thanks to Steven Universe!" Spinel beamed and she began to sing a familiar song. "That IIII-III-III, I can make a change!"

"Insipid hypocritical brat!" Steven's inner voice bellowed furiously. "Does she think she can make you feel all better with that same idiotic tune?" The inner voice's question immediately changed Steven's perspective of Spinel. Gone was the looney sweetheart, and right before him, Steven began to imagine the psychopath that poofed all his friends and nearly killed all organic life. "She's just like everybody else you've met! They think everything is okay despite all the horrible things they've done, and you just accept it! Go right on ahead, show her how she made you feel!"

"I can make a promise, I can make a plan!" Spinel kept on singing while Steven continued glaring at her for giving him his own advice. "I can make a difference, I can take a stand! I can make an effort, if I only understaa-aaand!" Once again, Steven's darker half began to take control, making Steven curl his hand up into a fist. "That III-III-I, I can make a-"

Spinel's musical reverie was quickly cut short when Steven punched her square in the face and sent her head flying back for a moment before it returned to the rest of her body in tears. "W-why did you do that?" Spinel sniffled and then began to sob loudly.

"No, it wasn't my fault!" Steven tried to defend himself and began blaming the real culprit "You!" he yelled at his inner voice. "Why did you make me hurt her?!"

"Isn't that what you wanted, to get the payback you wanted?" the voice replied with a metaphorical sneer just as Volleyball raced towards the crying Spinel.

"Oh my goodness, are you alright Spinel?!" the Pearl with the damaged eye asked Spinel.

"Steven hit me!" Spinel kept on sobbing as she pointed at Steven while the Diamonds and Lemon Jade joined Volleyball in comforting her.

"Steven did what!?" Yellow shrieked and glared right at Steven, who turned pink yet again as he ran away. "Steven, you get back here this instant and explain yourself! She just wanted to make you feel better!"

"All of you shut up and leave me alone!" Steven screamed while racing out of the palace, unknowingly leaving behind a sandal on the steps as he left.

"Oh crack, this is Pink all over again." White groaned before she, her fellow Diamonds and Spinel's gang followed Steven out of the palace just as he was about to get on a Warp Pad, where they noticed how eerily similar to the late Diamond he has quickly become.

"Please Steven, let us help you!" Yellow cried out.

"We're your family!" Blue added.

"No, you never were!" Steven cried in a raspier voice. "Just stop following me!"

"Steven!" White exclaimed, but they were too late. The former great authority's pleas fell on deaf ears and Steven finally left Homeworld behind, the warp stream once again revealing a formless black shape before disappearing. "Oh, dear."

"What's going on with him?" Lemon Jade nervously asked.

"I have no idea." Volleyball answered as the doors closed behind them.

"Yeah, it's like he's turned into a different person," Spinel added while drying her tears. "and an absolute jerk too."

"This isn't like Steven to hit someone like this." Yellow said while cradling Spinel in her hand. "Something is definitely wrong."

"I concur Yellow." White agreed with the younger Diamond. "When I allowed Steven to take over my body, I felt a strange presence within him that urged him to try and shatter me."

"What?!" Yellow and Blue shouted in unison.

"This has got to be a result of human growth, I'm sure of it!" Blue paced around the halls. "What is it his father called it again, pub-erty?"

"Something along those lines." White said. "While I've been told young humans undergoing this process do have mood swings, I don't think violent urges are among those moods."

--

Meanwhile on Earth, Jasper had returned to lying in the bathtub where she was resurrected, and she was now crying her eyes out after being rejected by Steven. Losing her Diamond in battle was bad enough for her, and learning she was Rose Quartz all along thus making everything she worked for all a lie was even worse, but getting her back only to be abandoned once again was the final straw.

"Why does this planet hate me so?" Jasper quietly sobbed to herself. "I was only following orders, what does the rock I was created on have against me?"

Just then, Jasper could barely hear a Warp Pad go off, signaling that someone had come to the beach house. However, she chose not to bother seeing who it was, even as someone opened the door.

"Hello, anyone in here?" Steven, the boy who had basically ruined Jasper's life, asked while poking his head into the bathroom. It was dark in the room, so he could barely make out the shape of Jasper's hair lying in the tub, and he closed the door again.

--

I apologize in advance for all the heartbreak in this chapter and all chapters going forward. We're gonna get into some intense stuff here, perhaps even more intense than the gaslighting and pet loss of the previous part. And you're all still here for it, you lovable sadists. Anywho, join us next time for Everything's Fine! Oh wait, everything won't be fine.

[shockdowndefiance]

You've been visited by the random OC question fairy! :D ~☆

Pick five of your character's most influential milestones (moving away from home, a first kiss, a death, etc.). Why and how did these milestones affect your character?

Thank you for the question! Once again I am answering for Allison Shepard as she’s the only MC I really have fleshed out. I sat down to write out her most influential milestones and narrowed it down to the five I felt would be most interesting. In chronological order:

1. Finding out she was a latent biotic and suddenly developing biotic abilities at the age of sixteen 2. Meeting her first boyfriend, Finn

After she was expelled for punching and injuring another student, and moving to a different human colony, she enrolls in a new school and meets Finn on her first day there:

A teen boy slouched casually against the wall opposite the office, moving to stand up when Allison shut the door behind her. His dark hair flopped down into his bright blue eyes as he moved, his hand almost continually going up to move it out of the way.

"Finnegan Osmani. Call me Finn," he said once he was close enough, holding a hand out. Allison took it and gave a brief shake before she pulled back. "You're that new kid, right?"

"I am," Allison said, turning and looking around. "I hear you’re my chaperone."

Finn laughed. "That's one way of putting it. Hey, rumours going around; you are a biotic, right?"

"Sure am," Allison said, turning back to look at Finn with a cool glare. "You gonna make something of it?"

"Nope." Finn grinned. "My lil sis is a biotic, she'll love to meet you."

Allison smiled herself.

Maybe introductions weren't going to be so bad.

Outside of family everyone treated Aliison and her twin brother Elliot like a ticking time bomb. Finn was the first one to fully embrace who she was, biotics and all. This was in part because of his younger sister also being a biotic, so he had some knowledge of what being a biotic meant.

Walking in to that new school, she had put her hair up and left her amp fully visible - she didn’t care what anyone thought of her, whispered about her. Hating her for being a biotic was the same as hating her for having green eyes, and if it meant she rounded out high school as the ostracised creepy biotic whom no one talked to...well, she didn’t care.

And then Finnegan showed her that, no, not everyone was going to act like that. Some people would be accepting of who she was, biotics and all.

Again, this has gotten really long so the rest is under a cut!

3. Enlisting in the Alliance 4. Getting dumped by Finn 5. Defending Elysium from pirates and slavers 6. Being awarded the Star of Terra for her actions on Elysium

Allison didn’t do anything special on Elysium.She didn’t do anything more than any other marine would have done (and in fact some of them willingly laid down their lives so that others could be saved). Being hailed as the Hero of Elysium is an aggravating and unnecessary epithet, and doubly so when her status as a biotic soldier is emphasised.

(This does create positive associations with biotics so it’s at least something but, again, she’s an average biotic. Nothing special. Stop advertising it on recruitment posters so much.)

She receives the Star of Terra (among others: namely her officer commission, invitation to ICT school, and a special commendation) for her actions, but despite all the pomp and circumstance, unless she needs to wear it it stays hidden away in its box in storage.

It doesn’t help that she’s the daughter of Hannah Shepard, well-regarded veteran of the First Contact War. People expected a lot from Allison, and barely four years since enrolling in the Alliance, they had humanity’s newest hero on their hands. She brushes off most applauds about her status; they take it as her being modest, she intends it as a stop bothering me about it but she can’t not keep it.

(This does later cause a bit of friction between Allison and Ashley later, but that is 8-9 years later in the timeline.)

7. Being invited to participate in the Interplanetary Combatives Training course 8. The untimely death of her paternal grandfather In the late 22nd century, the average life expectancy for humans is around 120, with some individuals reaching 150 years old.

As such, Allison’s paternal grandfather dying in his early nineties was a shock to all. It occurs in the middle of Allison’s ICT learning, and as a result it delays her graduation by a year. Completing ICT can be done in a year, but Allison spread it out a little because she wanted to pace herself - being one of the first biotics invited into the program, she didn’t want to crash and burn (despite there being no shame in being able to complete the first rank, she personally would have hated having done so).

Her grandfather’s death causes her to step back and reevaluate things a little. She idolised her grandfather so much (I have an idea for an art piece when Allison was about eight years old, on the back porch of her grandfather’s house; Allison is pulling a face because she and her grandfather are eating liquorice; she despises it but her grandfather adores it, and because he adores it she reckons that she must also adore it) and losing him punches a hole in her career plans.

She stays in the Alliance (not much else for a biotic to do, and her family going back many generations has been military, so she doesn’t quite know what else to do) but she misses him for a long time. 9. Completing her Interplanetary Combatives Training course and being awarded N7 rank 10. Accidentally interfacing with the prothean beacon on Eden Prime and getting the first glimpse of the impending Reaper invasion 11. Becoming a Spectre, part of the Citadel's specops group 12. Rescuing both Kaidan and Ashley from the near-doom mission on Virmire 13. Allowing herself to fall in love with Kaidan This harkens back to Finn and him seeing her as a whole. For Allison, being in the Alliance and having a relationship doesn’t mesh - initially she’s working on her career, aiming to get her officer’s commission, then Elysium happens and people are more interested in her as Commander Shepard, Hero of Elysium than they are of Allison.

Kaidan’s different. Heck, all of the Normandy crew are different (barring those who knew her prior like Anderson and Adams) - while they respect her as their XO/CO, they don’t idolise her like other people she’s met. She can pull off heroic feats and achieve the near-impossible, but a large part of that is down to her crew and how they are all able to work together.

But Kaidan sees beyond rank, sees beyond medals, sees beyond her service history, and does indeed see Allison, the person. Admittedly at the point in time this occurs, Allison hasn’t seen how bad things can get, and she doesn’t know how much of a rock Kaidan will be to her, but to realise that he loves her, the entirety of her, and not the hero plastered across the recruitment vids, or the thin line between reverence and rejection biotics often get.

But they’re military, she’s his CO and he’s her HOMD. She’s gotten a lot of leniency running as a Spectre ship but she still answers to the Alliance. Fraternization is not allowed, and so they push their feelings to the back once the Citadel is saved and Saren and Sovereign are killed. Kaidan requests to be given a new posting, a space halfway across the galaxy, given a few months and then start an official, public relationship, and allow Allison a shot at a normal romantic relationship. 14. Dying and being ressurected 15. Finding out that the Collectors are protheans, enslaved and mutated by the Reapers 16. Leading a team through the Omega 4 relay, a place where no one had returned from, to destroy the collector base and returning victorious 17. Blowing up a mass relay in batarian space, killing over 300k batarians and being put under house arrest 18. Almost losing Kaidan after an ambush on Mars 19. Uniting the galaxy against the Reapers and delivering the killing blow, ending their message for ever 20. Waking up to a post-Reaper galaxy with both physical and mental injuries, and learning how to manage with those

Allison wakes up in a hospital bed for the second time in her life after a major battle and she almost cries. Let me rest, she thinks, fearing that Cerberus has gotten to her again and they’ve rebuilt her again to go rogue and save the galaxy again. Hasn’t she earned her rest?

Well, yes. She has.

She’s in a hospital in London, her mother at her bedside as medics struggle to sedate her, worried that Allison will injure herself more without it. Miranda, the one who rebuilt her after the Collector attack, is leading the team. Allison is officially awoken from the induced coma/sedation about a month later and told what happened.

She lost her lower left leg, replaced with a prosthesis in the short term and a tissue cloned leg in the long term. One arm was dislocated, the other broken; a scar now bisects her face from forehead to nose, before curving around her cheekbone to her ear.

The Normandy has disappeared, no one knows where her or her crew are, including Kaidan - whom she had married just hours before the final assault against the Reapers.

Allison gets a multitude of diagnoses - acute stress disorder, anxiety, depression, panic attacks. Physically she recovers without issue, though she considers the clone tissue leg a waste (I can manage just fine on a prosthesis thank you) when there are others around who could benefit from the resources used on her.

But she’s got one more epithet to add to her collection - saviour of the galaxy, and a one-of-a-kind medal to accompany that. Her immediate family survived - her parents, her twin brother, her younger sister. And somehow Kaidan and nearly everyone on the Normandy survives too, reunited about three months after Allison officially wakes up.

But she struggles with her mental health, lashing out at Kaidan for his idea to take her to inner British Columbia, to his family’s orchard. Logically she knows it’s the best idea - remote and peaceful - but her brain rebels, another choice made for her, another change to her life that she has no control over.

But she apologises, rests, and recovers. Takes up Anderson’s apartment on the Citadel when it’s habitable once again and considers, maybe, retiring from the Alliance and pursuing a normal life.

Maybe.

(It doesn’t stay that way for long.) 21. Choosing to get pregnant and raising children with Kaidan

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-03-12

I have been told only a few things about the upd8 that just landed, over Discord by two people:

upd19 feat. 4,901,157 read it. now. note: the featuring note is accurate if in a different base than what you might be expecting

What the fuck does that even mean.

Okay Pretty good chapter.

...from another friend who VERY dislikes HS^2?  Oh shit.

I also glimpsed a post that may or may not have been about Homestuck at all at the top of my Tumblr feed for an instant that said “YES YES YES YES YES” in huge bold print.  I have no idea whether to be excited or nervous.

Okay, it’s not a Bonus update... let me comb through from an earlier page to be careful not to get a spoilerlook at the pagecount...

...huh.  That seems... like a conversation that would be up my alley, but not necessarily unique so far or worth all this crowing about.  I thought we were about to get Dirk-aliens with a full Horschestra backing... are we getting something else?

> CHAPTER 6. A Conversation Regarding Relevance

Hmmmmmmmm.  With the contrast between their reactions and this ominous buildup, there’s got to be a serious fun-twist coming.  Right?  --I’ll stop with that talk for the moment though.

space is vast. an unproductive statement, almost a tautology. [...]

Alright, that and the starry background are riffing the fuck off Star Trek.  Nice homage to Andrew’s roots.

the lives of the many are far too volatile and instinct-driven

Alt!Callie what the fuck are you doing.  This is intentional now.  You can’t play this off as “what’s a Star Trek”.

tautologies are, in general, reserved for stories. for narrative device. for finding new and inventive ways to tell an audience that which they already know.

God damnit she’s still doing it

neither of us ever able to convince the other of the righteousness of our stance. we were never meant to agree. it isn’t in our blood.

Blah blah overanalyzing classpect blah

when they scoff at my tautology ‘space is vast’, what do they really know? nothing. as far as any of them have experienced, space does not exist.

It’s still nice to see some real personality leak through on Alt!Callie.  We definitely know from her other self that she can develop quite a relatable and colorful one.  Have the years helped?

> ==>

dramantic pouse... ........

Also,

-look at that collar.  Damn, Callie, that is a collar

very few have stood and looked into the abyss, the true gulf of nothingness that spreads out around the single point of consciousness adrift in a constellation. all the combined weight of sentient endeavour would quail underneath that sheer, irresistible truth. the realization that they are so small, that the universe cares about their puny lives so very little. sitting in the glowing light of the stars this becomes even more apparent

In the official aspect quiz I never took the time to analyze, the aspects were put on a wheel where Space was a neighbor to Void, if I recall correctly.  I wonder how much those aspects engender feelings of goddamnit I’m doing it again aren’t I

...

are we out of orange juice?

Yesss let more personality Alt!Callie bleed through, more of it~

Wait, does Alt!Callie even taste through Jade?  Isn’t this remote control?  Is she vicariously drawing pleasure from Jade’s not-just-meat-or-candy mostly-human taste buds or?

> ==>

JADE: are you talking to me? JADE: because if you are i would like to remind you that i hate!! orange juice!!

OH FUCK YES!!! SHE’S IN THERE AND AWAKE!!! SHE STILL HAS AT LEAST ENOUGH AGENCY TO BE PRESENT AND ARGUE WITH CALLIE! YESSSSSS

no you don’t.

JADE: well i guess i never really had a strong opinion on it before JADE: but now i cant stand it!! JADE: its all you drink!

i like the pulp.

QUIT INADVERTANTLY FORCING SHIT ON JADE WITH NARRATIVESPEAK GIVE HER A BIT OF LEEWAY ALT!CALLIE YOU CONTROLLING--

JADE: its my body and i dont want orange juice! JADE: i hate pulp, and i didnt just make that up to spite you JADE: who wants strings in their juice?

i do.

JADE: ughhhhhhhhh

I have had friends hopefully fantasize about and/or therapeutically roleplay this exact situation with Jade breaking through and arguing with Alt!Callie’s control to make this all a fair bit more palatable but I didn’t dare to hope we’d get even THIS much

Maybe the HS^2 authors DO care about not leaving us wallowing in hopeless witness to the characters’ constant torture and existential turbosuffering!!!! :#D

i realize that jade’s situation is less than ideal from a characterization perspective, but i still politely point out that nobody likes a whiner.

Fuck you, this isn’t CALIBORN you’re trying to repress you asshole!  Leave Jade some AGENCY!!!!!  She deserves it!!

JADE: fuck you rude calliope inside my head!

YES EXACTLY

JADE: why dont you try being possessed by the spirit of some other version of a good friend of yours, and floated around a spaceship full of people you love JADE: unable to affect anything or say hello to anyone! JADE: then tell me about whiners!

i killed my brother and consumed him.

JADE: sounds like a you problem

Compromise and give her some agency finally come on compromise and give her some agency you red-text twatwaffle

i suggest to the witch that i have spent untold eons in the void between universes, waiting for the moment i would be needed to prevent the dissipation of reality as we know it. her appeals to emotion will not help her. i will remain unmoved.

Oh god damnit.

JADE: well i had to watch my boyfriend and my brother die in front of me on a tiny scaled version of a world that i shrunk for them! JADE: and then spend the next three years talking to myself, wracked with guilt that id killed them!

Oh. God. Damnit.  This had better not be where the Suicide trigger warning was coming from.  Are there going to be any characters left who DIDN’T emerge from this mess feeling suicidal?!?  (I mean if there were any understandable case it would be three years alone on the golden ship Jade but-- I mean COME ON, we have to discuss that in our FIRST GLIMPSE at her since the epilogues?!?)

> ==>

i remind the witch that my time was in the void, which is far darker and lonelier [...]

Oh fuck you don’t compare suffering as an excuse to COMPLETELY body-enslave and squash the agency of someone when you probably don’t have to.  You’re just doing what’s COMFORTABLE alt!Callie admit it.  There’s a way you could give her some leeway, I’m almost positive.

JADE: even if i had the powers of a first guardian, my brain still worked in modules of human pattern recognition! JADE: three years is a long time for a human teenager, i dont care how many of her molecules are made of a god!

(i love it when jade talks smart, that bit of the epilogues was a treat too, plz reveal more of the big brain on jade)

It seems Jade can’t see or quite understand the full import of there being a “narrative”.  Or THINKS she cant, because she still says:

JADE: your voice is impossible to read and i cant see your face

If she’s “reading” alt!Callie’s remarks, that means she’s breaking through to understand the narrative to SOME extent.  She might be one of the ones who learns to do that a little more and better in the future, especially with alt!Callie almost unintentionally training her to see it.

> ==>

Oh, good.  So A!C’s not above being considerate.  That’s a step in the right direction.

> ==>

D’aww, Jade conceding and trying to empathize like her usual self.  I appreciate it.  :)  --but Alt!Callie’s definitely in the wrong here.

JADE: but i think it is a very natural thing to be silly when you are used to being able to control your own body, but now cant

i will allow that, yes.

Thanks.  Learn some damned reason.

jade smiles. dave and karkat will always be a source of pain for her, a low ache somewhere in her center of gravity, but she is happy for them. she knows that there is really no other alternative for how to be. they chose each other over her, and they always will. they are the two people who matter to her the most in every universe, and that will not change, no matter how much she wishes it would, no matter how--

JADE: do you actually know that?

pardon me?

Oh, shit.

JADE: do you actually know that im doomed to pine over dave and karkat across every iteration of reality? JADE: like, can you actually see that? JADE: because youre a space player, like i am. JADE: i know that you are more powerful than me, but i dont think you can see other timelines any better than i can JADE: so i think you are just being dramatic JADE: for the “audience”, whatever the heck that means

i experience a moment of unease as jade looks at me. keeping her out of my thoughts is proving to be more difficult than i had first assumed it would be.

That’s a damned interesting question.  I was giving the narrative the benefit of the doubt, but given everything the Epilogues warned us about when it came to the narrators and alt!Callie’s occasional slips into her own bias, I really should have known better.

i had begun confident that i could keep her consciousness sleeping peacefully inside the shell of her body, tamed and quiescent, but she has proved to be more irascible than i initially gave her credit for.

JADE: heheh JADE: i have never been particularly tamable, and my consciousness is huge!

This might end up playing out more like my friend’s Jade-breaks-out roleplays than I initially assumed.  (What does she mean “huge consciousness” though?  Superpowered due to part-First-Guardian, like she alluded earlier in the conversation?  That never got much play before, so it’s great to see that potential realized here a bit...)

> ==>

...I’m a fucking idiot.  Of COURSE “huge consciousness” and the whole line around it was just an unsubtle double-entendre.  A small part of me actually wondered if it was and dismissed it as a clumsy reading in an instant.  How stupid am I?  Jade is the best.

If only this sort of thing worked on Cherubs.

> ==>

Yeah.  It really doesn’t.

...Alt!Callie, you are a fucking war-criminal for bottling all these double-entendres up where none of the others can appreciate them.

> ==>

JADE: you are a pretty tough crowd, evil callie JADE: but yes, i can hear most of what you are thinking to yourself JADE: it took a little while to separate it from my own thoughts, just like it did with dirk JADE: because thats what he was doing the whole time, wasnt it? JADE: controlling our thoughts JADE: making us believe things we never would, things he thought we SHOULD believe

Fucking excellent.  She’s definitely training herself on this shit.  The more people who have a harder time getting fooled by this nonsense the better.

jade knows all of this, i don’t have to tell her. she is a very bright girl, and even if she didn’t have partial access to my thoughts, she is good at compiling data and using it to fill in gaps. as she herself had rather licentiously mentioned, her brain is quite large.

C:

and all of these reasons are why i know i can count on her to be reasonable and realistic about her situation. i need a body to continue interfacing with this timeline, and her body is the only one that will do.

Dammit.  Trying to get her to logic her way back into keeping Alt!Callie in complete control.  That’s a tactic that will probably work.  :(

what about [kanaya], jade? she is a space player, it is true, but her powers are nothing compared to yours. for one, she isn’t god tier, and for two, she is dead. a living dead, but dead nonetheless.

Hm.  Are you saying she maybe has less relevance, less of an effect on her surroundings because she spent some of her “cred” on unconventional partial resurrection?  To the extent where she’d make a less influential vessel?  Hmm.

For that to even matter, you have to be planning to use Jade’s Space powers too.  Taking a far more active role in things than narrative beacon.

and a sylph’s specializations lie on a different end of the spectrum from my own. a witch is a far closer match.

!!!!!

Sounds like details of the classpect system that we don’t know will have relevance in HS^2, and we’re indeed gonna possibly get some actual new, clearer details about the system Andrew invented unlike the dearth of new info the Epilogues brought us.  That is... promising.

no, jade understands and sympathizes with my assurance that her body, and her body alone, will do for my purposes.

JADE: um...no i dont!

YES.  Jade is now officially immune to absolute command! :D :D :D

she does. after all, she would not wish this sort of state of being on anyone else, and especially not on one of her friends. jade may have undergone a lopsided number of narrative hardships in her life, but at least she is used to them. why spread that suffering to another?

What the fucking shit???  You’re using that on her?  You think it’ll WORK?!

jade understands and accepts her place in the story, which has always been to enable events to play out around her, just as it has been mine.

..........yeah Jade’s gonna bust the fuck out on the very next page, isn’t she.

What the fuck is Alt!Callie thinking, here?  Wasn’t the other Calliope the one to let us know that the Witch is one of the most active classes there is??  ...what exactly does a Witch officially do anyway, for Alt!Callie to think saying such a thing wasn’t dead wrong?  This sounds MUCH more like the sort of statement someone might make after breezing through Homestuck and confusing the old Jade (cough) for the person she grew up into.

And the fact that you’re phrasing this as a narrative command to try and make her forcibly THINK this way deserves you a smack in the non-literal depictive face.  Let’s see if you get one:

> ==>

Oh wow, no smack yet?!  That’s some restraint!

because what is a story, truly? nothing but a series of misadventures and connections, actions spurring reactions, tumbling into one another, over and over and over. with so many competing interests, clearly the story cannot account for all perspectives, for all threads? it would be laughable, childish, even selfish, to demand that they do.

in other words, not everyone will achieve a happy ending. this is a truth that jade had come to grips with a long time ago.

JADE: wait. JADE: stop. JADE: why are you saying all of this?

Ohh.  Because she still had even MORE smackworthy stuff left to say, to make the smack even SMACKIER, didn’t she.  Alt!Callie you asshole.  If this gets you kicked out of her almost entirely and jeopardizes the crew as Jade struggles to combat Dirk’s narrative influence on her OWN, then I’m fucking blaming YOU!  Do you realize how horrible it’ll be if Dirk gets to almost singlehandedly write the whole story around her and the others for the first section of HS^2 with only one or two characters aware and trying to mentally avert it??  We already TRIED that in the Epilogues!  It was awful!

jade’s body is my vessel, and it is through this realization that she will understand her true role in the story. her true relevance.

Go fuck yourself, Alt!Callie.  Read the audience a bit!

if i released my hold on her consciousness, there would be no guarantee that i would be allowed in again. therefore i cannot permit her the control of herself that she so desperately craves, and she understands that.

THAT’S your reasoning your used-to-surpressing-Caliborn ignorant--!??

JADE: wait. so...you could give me my body back, and then just hop back in when you need to?

in theory, yes.

JADE: then what the hell callie!

because i don’t trust you to cooperate when the time comes.

MotherfuckerTheMusical.mp4

(or real existing equivalent that’s just off the top of my head)

JADE: why not? JADE: i thought you said i was a reasonable girl with a huge brain!

you are, to an extent.

she is. but the truth of the matter remains that humans are capricious and emotional. and even jade herself can admit that she hasn’t been the most...committed example of her species in the last few years.

Oh my fucking god.  I know they’re trying to make this more satisfying when she actually DOES take control in a few panels, but, Alt!Callie, seriously, get more on your other self’s level!!!

> ==>

Yes, please >:O some more

moving from lover to lover, job to job, interest to interest. over the last few years jade had found herself listless, unable to settle and unwilling to commit to anything or anyone. she knows there’s nothing wrong with that on a moral level, but on a personal level she’s always believed that she could be more, could do better. be better. and now, because of this, she realizes that sacrifices must be made.

and that she, as a space player, is uniquely built for sacrifice.

JADE: yeah JADE: i guess youre right JADE: i have been such a silly little slut! JADE: hey callie

yes, jade?

JADE: oh my god, whats that!!!!

You are so fucking screwed Alt!Callie.

this space is utterly under my control. jade could control it too, if she had any access to her own powers. but with my grip around her cortex, there is no chance of that.

(Wait, there’s an extent to which this space is “real” and not imaginary?  Or does holding her space powers in check also mean keeping her imaginary space powers in check?)

Anyway, here comes the smack.  And, though Alt!Callie deserves this, I hope Dirk isn’t let in too often amidst the others as a result.

> ==>

Yup, poising to pounce...

> ==>

I thought there was a weird infinity symbol underneath them but it’s just two spotlights and a shadow cast by her head.

and here i make my first mistake.

No you made your first mistakes WAAAY earlier in this conversation.  And what you did to Jade in general.  She’s a hero/player for a reason, she doesn’t take stuff lying down forever.

but bringing her into a place where we can both physically manifest has left me, foolishly, vulnerable.

First, physically manifest?  This isn’t pure imaginationspace?  And second, she’s going to blame her polite concession to Jade for this and hold on even tighter the next time, isn’t she.  God damnit, not looking forward to that.  Alt!Callie won’t learn her lesson til the end, will she?  :(

her fingers tear at my throat, trying to find purchase. she won’t be able to kill me here, but it is certainly unpleasant, and not to mention slightly repetitive. we just saw this in the previous chapter, although this particular fight will not end as amorously as the last one did. so don’t get your hopes up.

JADE: who! JADE: are you talking to!

I really hope Jade ends up with full narrative powerOOOOOHHHH FUCK THEY COULD GO FOR THAT HUH

Dirk was able to become an Ultimate Self in his own body because it was the uniting of an irrepressible “self” that he always unbreakably represented.  The others had more trouble.

But Jade

has a BIG PART-GOD BRAIN as reinforced in the narrative repeatedly!!

Meaning that later, SHE could Ultimate Self without ANY PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCE.  :D

I was hoping Jade would end up with full narrative-dictating-and-reading power when she wants to use it, at some point, but I might’ve been aiming too low! :D :D :D

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay

Now all the playfully-horny omnipotent Jade fanfics are true, what that totally isn’t part of why I love this go ahead and admit she doesn’t deserve it

> ==>

Yesss flashy gif struggle against control!  (Though, not as elegant as one of Andrew’s might’ve been. Gotta say.)

> ==>

Blinky-eyes about to resolve normal-Jade-colored....!

> ==>

Wait, what?  I thought Jade was about to snap in and--

during the ship’s trip through space, there have been numerous experiments; modifications to the nutrition output of the various machines designed to create sustenance for the various species on board. i myself have been content with orange juice and synthetic proteins, but dave and roxy have both expressed longing for various ‘earth snacks’, and so the trials and errors began.

What the fuck?  I don’t even know where this is going if it’s punways.

Is there like a dog treat somewhere that’s gonna push her over the edge?  Where is this headed even.

> ==>

Wh...

WHa??????

the results were mixed. as roxy told us in a previous chapter, alchemized food all sort of tastes the same, although the visuals really help to bring about the flavor. and at the end of the day, isn’t it the journey that is more important than the destination? the stories you tell as you create the strangely flavored nutritional paste?

JADE: ????????????

Um??  What’s even going on.

so far, everyone’s favorite attempt has been a vaguely peanut-butter and chocolate flavored creation called "Rices'". nobody eats them really. they just sit in a bowl on the counter.

i’m not actually sure what the witch is trying to accomplish here.

Is Jade trying to humorously gross Alt!Callie out of her body with a candy she doesn’t like or?  But, “suicide threat”? Why joke--

JADE: you dont? JADE: really?

i don’t know what she is trying to accomplish, because surely she would not be doing what it appears she is trying to do. making such a meaningless threat.

JADE: meaningless? JADE: do you even know anything about the body you stole? JADE: shouldnt you have run some sort of psychic physical before you possessed it? JADE: its definitely what i would have done!

Oh SHIT.  You mean Jade has the same peanut allergy JOHN does?!?

> ==>

jade must know that i am well-aware of her family-wide peanut allergy. a story thread that has been extremely important and weighed in on in multiple parts of the narrative. how could i have forgotten such a key detail?

...yes, she totally forgot, but more than that.

I’m betting John is the ONLY one with a peanut allergy.  That Jade is USING that fact to bluff like hell.  :D

(Allergies aren’t usually inherited that way you alien!)

there is nothing remotely just or heroic about dying from self-imposed anaphylactic shock in the throes of a childish tantrum. at the most i’ll get a relaxing few minutes of sleep.

Is Alt!Callie bluffing now?  Even a resurrecting death could throw her off.

> ==>

FUCK YES JADE.

JADE: do you really want to risk it?

what are you talking about, jade? i just said--

FUCK YES JADE, BE A HUGE WITCH

(i say in the most witch-connotatively and non-classpect-related way)

JADE: i dont know, callie JADE: ive never really understood the rules that govern the death of a god tier, have you? JADE: it seems pretty arbitrary from where im standing JADE: who makes the decision whether or not something is heroic or just?

...that’s unclear. but it certainly isn’t you.

JADE: right, of course not JADE: but are you so confident that youre a good guy? JADE: are you sure that the alpha timeline WANTS you to be here?

...what.

JADE: youve done some stuff, callie JADE: im only saying you shouldnt be so quick to assume that me killing you wouldnt be just JADE: and that taking my own life to do it wouldnt be heroic

Even with JUST this one fucking situation Alt!Callie put her in, throwing off her control forever by dying would be shortsighted but HELLA JUST.  What Alt!Callie is doing to her is a crime.

Oh shit!?!?

> [S] ==>

What is this, HTML5?  *clicks play*

...for a second, I thought this was gonna launch into a huge thing with that clock ticking song from the Felt album.

Having Rose and Dirk’s colors competing here really reinforces that... Prospit vs Derse vibe that was feeding the whole this-is-the-basis-for-the-game’s-structure-and-the-birth-of-Paradox-Space theory more earlier.

> ==>

i don’t let the witch manipulate me. i refuse to falter in the face of her whispers. without my careful planning and swift action, the prince would have taken full control over this timeline. none of my friends could even begin to imagine the turmoil.

In the end, you’re ignoring what’s right and brave in this instance to instead do something EXPEDIENT, to the exclusion of trust and compassion when things COULD work out just as well without taking the worst actions -- which is textbook villainous.

> ==>

JADE: they arent your friends!! JADE: you took them from me!

Now isn’t THAT a way to put it. :D :D :D

Alt!Callie is sinning almost as badly as Dirk, here.  Viewing everyone else as characters in a story, the only way she’s ever viewed “friends”, and her as the not-so-humble narrator doing what’s best for all of them.  If she’s going to win against Dirk -- or if that victory is going to MEAN anything -- she will HAVE to realize that she needs to be different.

JADE: you keep saying that youre doing all of this for my own good, but youre just lonely! JADE: i know you are, because so am i!

Ouch.

Will Alt!Callie force her to swallow it?

JADE: you said that being a space player is all about sacrifice JADE: well

> ==>

JADE: bet

...I guess she really might have an allergy.

> ==>

Aaaand the candy drops.  A W A K E ! ! ! !

Yaaaaay Jade is BACK and we’ll get to see even more of her!!!

...please tell me on the next page she grabs the candy, noms it, and mentions she doesn’t have a peanut allergy after all.  That would be sweet.

> ==>

...

Nope, you just leave us on a sad.  Dammit, why do you gotta be all adult and showin’ us both sides in a moment of triumph, HS^2.  Shucks.

Anyway, YAY JADE!  C:

I am happy by this, if slightly too emotionally-rollercoastered by the past 24-hours to give this the full-rejoicing it deserves.  That, and worried about the openings Dirk will get because of this... joy now for potential frustration later, even if Jade tries her best to let Alt!Callie back in in-time.

See y’all next time!  And, uhm.  I guess I’ll comment on whatever other asks I promised to comment on another less-eventful day.  Keep reminding me and holding me to it though!

[fuckyeahcharmcaster]

Pot, Meet Kettle

So, was looking for more Charmcaster content and came upon these comments related to the reboot episode “What Rhymes With Omnitrix?”  And...wow. I won’t name names out of respect for privacy and will put this all under a cut so that only those interested can read it, but the hypocrisy here is just so mind-numbing that I needed to comment on it.

Kevin stans unwilling to admit to his faults, do not engage.

What she did to Kevin was not conning in any way, that was clearly and blatantly magical enslavement complete with chains, torture, and mindcontrol. You can’t just downplay that shit like this and expect me to go along with it, not when the sequel series already tended to pull that, especially with regards to Charmcaster doing that sorta shit. You do not get to blatantly show Kevin being forced to do things against his will, being tortured for fighting back, and then try to pass it off as him having been tricked into working with her. What the fuck is with this franchise with having Charm do horribly evil shit and then just waving it off?

Remind me: how much horribly evil shit did Kevin commit, even in the sequel series themselves where he was a good guy, that got downplayed, justified, waved off or swept under the rug? Murder, war profiteering, aiding other criminals when it suited his interests, letting his friends take the rap for his crimes, etc?  

Sequel series Charm was incredibly shitty, there’s no denying that, probably shittier than sequel series Kevin honestly given the sheer lack of consistency in her character and over-the-top extremes they had her go to. But guess what, that doesn’t make sequel series Kevin un-shitty. If you’re not holding the same standard to how they’re written, your argument loses credibility because it is intellectually dishonest.

More to the point, what about all of the crap that reboot Kevin has pulled? Does none of it bother you? Is him walking free sensible given the stuff he’s done? Ex: he enslaved Glitch, who is a sentient being, against his will twice. He wasn’t taken to task for it afterward, even though he felt no remorse and went on to do more evil deeds. Before getting controlled by Charm, he was about to beat Ben to death. And even before he got his Antitrix he was a vicious bully who traumatized Ben to the point of being scared of public bathrooms. So why is all of that excusable and you can “go along with it” when the show doesn’t dwell on any of it afterward, but you draw a line in the sand when Charm, a villain, does something bad to Kevin, another fucking villain? That’s like hating on Kevin for manipulating the Weatherheads or Steam Smythe and expecting the show to make a bigger deal out of that, or hating on Zombozo for screwing Vilgax over or hypnotizing Kevin and expecting the show to make a bigger deal out of that; it makes no logical sense. Villains are gonna villain, it’s what they do.

With Charmcaster, it was a case of Kevin trying to puff himself up and seem big and bad and Charm responding with ‘great, let me have your brain for my own’, followed by an episode of him fighting viciously against her control until she took 100% over. But he was ‘working with her’, the writers say. And given how much the sequel series were into brushing the awful shit she did under the rug, I really don’t have patience for it here.

Again, I ask if you’ve checked under Kevin’s rug from the sequel series lately. Lot of awful shit there. And if you had the patience for all of that, you can have the patience for this.

And as for what sparked this whole outburst, the ‘working with her’ thing was in reference to that in his puffing Kevin outright said that she ought to take control of him. She told him upfront that she wanted to control Ben against his will to have him attack Gwen, and told him to be on his way because he wasn’t Ben. Kevin could have gotten out unscathed. But, not thinking straight because of jealousy, he protested and said that she should want to control him because he’s more powerful. Charm’s response (basically “OK, if you insist!”) made him realize all too late what he had just said and what it actually meant would happen to him.

It’s not trying to excuse what Charm did as right or justifiable or undermine it in any way, it’s just acknowledging that Kevin also played a willful part in making it happen too due to his hate-boner for Ben, just as Charm did due to her hate-boner for Gwen.  He wasn’t just minding his own business until Charm up and took control of him for no reason: he was about to murder Ben and got accidentally pulled over to Charm who mistook him for Ben, she told him to leave when she realized her mistake, and then Kevin insisted that her plan to control Ben was dumb because Ben was weak; she should want him because he’s stronger. His claim of Charm “conning” him into getting controlled is him lying to himself about what happened, acting as though Charm deliberately manipulated his jealousy to make him say what he did, rather than admit that he had been a stupid, jealous kid who badly fucked up.

It’s not even that they don’t treat her as being in the wrong, it’s that they want her to both be redeemable and also to do things that may or may not be irredeemable. It’s a theme of every sequel series and now the reboot as well.

Except that Charmcaster hasn’t done anything remotely irredeemable in the reboot series. And if you think that she did, then you’re being intellectually dishonest because, again, Kevin has done literally the exact same things and usually for the exact same reasons. He’s not against controlling, enslaving, manipulating or relishing in inflicting pain on people either. He may not be a psychopath, but he still is written as lacking in basic empathy, just like Charm.

It was also absolutely a theme for him as well in the sequel series, probably even moreso since they did a whole fucking arc about it w/ Ultimate Kevin, where he did horrific things that were irredeemable and yet he’s still redeemed and those actions are swept under the rug with the whole “it wasn’t his fault, it was the energy he absorbed that made him do it!” excuse, which is the same kind of cop-out as the Alpha Rune was for sequel series Charmcaster. If you can buy wholesale into that excuse but can’t for the Alpha Rune, you are operating under a double standard. Either both are cases of awful character writing that exist purely for the writers to avoid having to write actual redemption arcs, or neither of them are. Pick one.

SO they have her do these things and then either sweep them under the rug, downplay the shit out of them, or tell us that we should feel sorry for her that she felt the need to do that.

....I...I really can’t right now.  I just can’t.

This literally describes Kevin too. Swap names and gender pronouns, and it’s the same.

And yet every time Kevin does something horrible, your reaction seems to be “oh, my son!”, sweeping it under the rug or downplaying it, and you feel sorry for him that he felt the need to do it; you still understand and sympathize with his troubled mental state regardless of what inexcusable acts of villainy it drives him to do. But when it’s Charmcaster? Fuck that bitch and cue violent fantasies of what Kevin should do to her for revenge just because he happened to be the victim of her actions (oh yeah, and about those: what the actual fuck!? Honestly, the hypocritical bitching about Charm being some kind of writers’ pet wouldn’t bug me half as much without this totally uncalled-for shit accompanying it.)

It sounds to me that this has nothing to do with morality: it has everything to do with a bias toward your fave and anger that he got hurt.  It sounds to me that Kevin can hurt Ben, Gwen, Grandpa Max, Glitch, or anyone else and you’re fine with it - heck, he can hurt Charm and you’re fine with it given the aforementioned fantasies. But when Kevin is hurt, the one who did it MUST be held accountable at every turn and suffer the painful consequences!

He’s your fave, I get it, but the emotions involved with that should not rule out objectivity. Nor should it fuel torture porn fantasies toward another character, especially a female child one who already has being physically abused by a boy as part of her goddamn backstory. (Humiliating slapstick like the show itself uses is fine though, she definitely deserves it.)

The way you are going about it, you come off as a pitiful MRA-type always bitching about how them damn women get away with everything and men get screwed as a result, even when it’s not at all reflective of reality. If you really think the writers of the Ben 10 franchise have historically held some kind of bias toward Charm and didn’t toward Kevin, then just look at Kevin’s screentime throughout the franchise compared to Charm and then come back at me with that shit (same goes for Gwen for that matter; stack her up against Ben and Kevin in terms of significant arcs, actions and development, and you’ll find she falls woefully short.)

And the thing is, for the reboot at least, she’s young enough I’m willing to give her some leeway, but the tempering damages that by making it feel like the writers don’t see what she does as an issue.

It’s not that the writers don’t see what she does as an issue. It’s that you see it as way too big of an issue while also not seeing the same thing happening with Kevin as an issue at all. It’s a double standard, pure and simple: Kevin is your fave and so he can get away with anything in your eyes and you don’t consider it to be troubling writing if he gets let off with a slap on the wrist for it. But you can’t do the same for Charm because she’s not your fave and - more importantly - Kevin is negatively impacted by what she does. If he wasn’t, then I’m pretty damn sure that no evil deed she commits would actually bother you at all. You want the show to fixate on how evil what she did was not because you hold some standard against magical mental enslavement in general, but because you’re angry that she did it to Kevin. This is all about you taking offense on behalf of your fave, not about the writers messing up in any way.

And before anyone gets on my case for bashing Kevin, I’m not! I love reboot Kevin! None of what I described above about him bothers me in any way because I can look at him objectively and enjoy him as the troubled but undeniably nasty little shit that he is, just as I do with reboot Charm. They’re both villains who do villainous things, and the show’s lax attitude toward it is due to its light-hearted tone and the fact that they’re both children (ditto for the likes of Billy Billions and Simon Sez). But more to the point, they’re supposed to be hypocrites in regards to each other, because what they hate about each other is actually the worst of themselves reflected right back at them. They are the same kind of person and they project like crazy, this is a certified fact per Word of God. Their FANS, however, shouldn’t be following their example because they ought to be smarter and more mature than that.

It goes all the way back to this post, and what I said there still applies: Why are male characters allowed to be bitter, angry, hateful, vengeful, insolent, insulting, anti-social, violent and manipulative without reproach while female characters always get demonized for it?  Why does such behavior in a male character get the “my precious son!” reaction, while the exact same behavior in a female character get the “that horrible bitch!” reaction? Why are bad things a female character does to a male character considered irredeemably awful, but what bad things that male character might do to her for revenge considered an appealing fantasy and totally justified? Why can a male character be allowed nuance despite their deplorable acts of villainy, and yet when it’s done with a female character it’s proof that “the writers don’t get that what she did was wrong because otherwise why try to make her appealing or sympathetic in any way?” Why this double standard?

I don’t know, but I do know that it’s wrong and I am not here for it.

Tl;dr: don’t hate on Charm for things your fave is equally guilty of or things that a witch-themed supervillain is gonna naturally do just because it’s your fave who gets hurt by it.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

CYBERVERSE WATCH: S3 Episode 13, 14, 15, 16

Episode 13

MACCADAM IS MY GRANDPA NOW

Jetfire!!! And Skybite!!! Skybite’s got a great laugh

Oh wow the cloaking still protects them? Nice!

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE FIX PERCY’S EYES, WHERE THE FRICK IS RATCHET

A MULTIVERSE DRIVE???

PLEASE...PLEASE LET US SEE OTHER UNIVERSES??? OTHER UNIVERSES PLEASE????

SPARE SOME MULTIVERSE STUFF FOR A POOR SOUL???

I mean as it stands, the fact that Cyberverse is talking about this stuff is more than satisfying, man I frickin love this show

“We can launch those squiggly things into a whole ‘nother universe!” his delivery of that line was so good and also Wheeljack pls, then it’ll be another version of you’s problem

MEGATRON REALLY *IS* POUTING, MEGATRON YOU BIG BABY

Maccadam fondly but watching them talk about their battle plans makes me feel so bad for him...

AW MAN IS MEGATRON GONNA CHUCK OPTIMUS INTO A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE

About time you showed up you big pouting pansy

Man these two totally were ex boyfriends

LMAO ARCEE AND SHADOW-STRIKER’S EVIL LAUGHS, THAT”S SO DELIGHTFUL

That Titan should just smack them out of the sky tbh

SKULLCRUNCHER THE CROC...NICE

I love that Soundwave and Roddy are manning the controls

“Commanders command. And you forget, we have backup” CUTE...CUTE....CUTE!!!

I’M SO PROUD OF MY BOYS!!!!!!

BEE!!!It’s been so long since I’ve seen you! I love my little yellow boy!!! Please take care of your dad Bee

OH NO IT”S CREEPY TENTACLE DOCTOR

GOTH GIRL AND PREP GIRL!!! 

MAN I JUST KNOW SOMETHING’S GOING TO GO HORRIFICALLY WRONG HERE

FRICK NOT THIS DUDE AGAIN

AW MAN NOT A WHOLE BUNCH AT ONCE

YEAAAHHHHH WHEELJACK AND MEGATRON WORKING TOGETHER!!! NICE

Two Decepticons and one Autobot...not a good sign

Oh shoot it’s the DECEPTICONS who wanna universe-jump, MEGATRON COME ON DUDE YOU DIDN’T EVEN TAKE YOUR ARMY WITH YOU DUMMY

OH NO!!!!!!

“It’s time for the commanders to join the battle” MAN YOU’RE SO COOL RODDY (YOU TOO SOUNDWAVE)

OH SHOOT THERE GOES THE TOWER

WELL FRICK

DON”T “WE DID IT” HOT ROD YOUR DAD IS IN THAT WRECKAGE

“Quintessons: Inferior. Cybertronians: Superior” MAN I”LL NEVER GET TIRED OF THAT

HE”S SO COOL!!!!! FIST BUMP BUDDIES!!! Man I’m so over the moon that these two wound up getting along

You know I’m suddenly having a revelation: I wonder if they could somehow re-activate all those other Soundwaves to help them against the (inevitable) final battle I’m sure they’re gonna have

WHAT THE FRICK

ARE YOU FRICKIN KIDDING ME

Starscream: CANCELED, CANCELED, YOU”RE ALL CANCELED

Well, Megatron certainly got the heck out of dodge at the right time lmao

Episode 14

I legit thought they were going to do an ATLA ref for half a second

Oh my gosh is this an Autobot recruitment video???

“The universe. You ever thought about it?” GOSH THIS VIDEO....

I’m frickin cackling, the Quintessons were like “Hmm, what’s the worst thing we could possibly inflict on this planet?” then went “Oh, of course, Starscream”

WHY DIDN”T YOU JUST LET GO STARSCREAM

Wow Starscream really did just sell out his entire planet huh

SOUNDWAVE NO!!!!! JEEZ HE GOT EVERYONE

Jeez and Starscream has to share with two other faces, that sucks

Lmao Starscream is just like “Nah judging people is what I was born for”

UNSPACE??? UH OK

WAIT isn’t that what Wheeljack made a few episodes ago????

LMAO HE’S GONNA WAIT TIL HE CAN GET OPTIMUS AND MEGATRON TOO bless Starscream and his pettiness

“First I must witness their humiliation!” STARSCREAM PLEASE the Quintessons really got the worst Judge

OHHH WHAT’S HE GONNA DO

SOUNDWAVE YOU’RE SO POWERFUL!!!!!

OH NO HE GOT THEM AGAIN....

GOSH I ACTUALLY GASPED WHEN THEY BROKE SOUNDWAVE’S AUDIO THING, NO!!!

“Well, it did for one of us, and it only takes one Autobot to make a difference” Bee? Whirl??? Wheeljack???

WINDBLADE!!! EVEN BETTER!!! The person with the braincell!!!

I love that Rodimus doesn’t even look worried, he just sighs like “aw man not this loser again”

On the one hand: Worried about my boys On the other: Man I love these two being buds

Also: Not To Be That Guy But it looks like Soundwave’s wearing white thigh-highs with little orange hearts on them and it’s VERY distracting

“You two work so well together!!!” OH NO OH NO OH NO ARE THEY GONNA FUSE THEM TOGETHER OR SOMETHING

THOSE HEAD MASKS ARE SO DISTURBING

uh oh what kind of loop is this

THE PLAGUE OF RUST OH NO

oh my gosh STARSCREAM’S MAKING THEM DO A BUFFING LOOP...THAT’S REALLY THE WORST THING YOU COULD THINK OF STARSCREAM....

“WHERE ARE MEGATRON AND OPTIMUS PRIME” well Optimus is under a pile of concrete, so

Lmao thank you for your peanut-gallery commentary Kup

OH SHOOT THEY DID JUMP THROUGH THE MULTIVERSE BRIDGE

MAN THAT LOOKS SO FRICKIN COOL???? YO SHOUTOUT TO THE BACKGROUND ARTISTS WHO WORKED ON THIS SHOW, YOU ROCK

SERIOUSLY IM IN LOVE WITH THAT I hope whoever did the background art shares their work online sometime, I’ll be ALL over that

AHH I ALWAYS FORGET HOW SHORT THESE EPISODES ARE

Excuse me, Jeremy Levy as WHO???

Episode 15

Kup you are an...interesting commentator choice lmao

MACCADAM..... :(

Windblade please save our favorite Grandpa

wINDBLADE!

HOW’S IT FEEL BEING THE COOLEST KID ON THE BLOCK WINDBLADE

Wait I *JUST* noticed the title calls this “Bumblebee: Cyberverse Adventures” ???? IS THAT NEW

CALL ME A SUCKER BUT WINDBLADE CRACKING HER NECK AND TELLING THE LITTLE SHARK DUDES TO BRING IT ON WAS QUITE POSSIBLY ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS OF THE SERIES SO FAR

Windblade: *does anything* Me: IM GAY

“I don’t do fear” GOSH I LOVE MY TALENTED GIRL

OH NO!!! OH NO!!!! WINDBLADE NO!!!!!

AND HER WINGS TOO??? WHY!!!!

MACCADAM HELP HER OUT COME ON DUDE WHAT HAPPENED TO NO FIGHTING

lmao rip at the dude crushed by the juke box

Wait I thought they already woke up Iaconus??

YEAH!!!!!!!! MACCADAM AND WINDBLADE TEAMING UP

“UNFORGIVABLE CRIMES AGAINST ME!” LMAO I LOVE THAT LITERALLY EVERYONE IS TUNING OUT STARSCREAM get rekt Starscream.

Not to rag on people who like Starscream because I like him too but me @ Starscream stans tbh 

You guys just need to hold hands! I mean seriously, come on you guys!

STARSCREAM QUINTESSONS OMG I just noticed they’re all wearing Starscream’s colors pffft

AW.....MACCADAM’S FIRST HIGH-FIVE....:’) I bet Windblade and Maccadam both give the best hugs and best high-fives 

They’re so cute MAN I love Cyberverse!!!! I love how sweet these characters are!!!

A psychic trap??? Hoo boy

Windblade: How do I defeat this psychic trap? Maccadam: Well, it would help if you had any bug or dark-type Pokemon on you.

“Or you could just tell me!” I JUST SAID THAT TOO LMAO gosh I love the writing on this show

OHHH I LOVE THE CONTRAST OF IACONUS’ BRAIN WITH BEE’S BRAIN IN SEASON ONE, THAT”S SO GOOD

OH LMAO HE MEANT HER SWORD I thought he meant like “your inner-strength” or “your wisdom” NO HE MEANT “USE YOUR SWORD WINDBLADE” LOL

OHHH SPOOKY VOICE, I DIG IT

Wow Starscream’s really reading out his 1000 page long call-out post to a captive audience

LMAO THEY”RE JUST LISTING OUT DATE LOCATIONS

CHROMIA IS SO CUTE!!!!!!!! AHHH

OH NO ARCEE!!!!

I LOVE ARCEE, “HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT YOU BASTARD”

OH SHOOT JK I GUESS THEY REALLY DIDN”T TOTALLY WAKE HIM  UP LAST TIME I was wondering why he was just an arm

TITAN TIME!!!

Episode 16

To toast the flares off a neutron star....cute....

Wouldn’t it be cute if Kup was telling this story to a bunch of baby Cybertronians

Awh....Maccadam I’m sorry your old Titan had to re-awaken :(

“Too bad I won’t know how it ends” OH NO ARE YOU GUYS GONNA KILL OFF MACCADAM???? NO!!!!

Iaconus looks frickin RAD I’m sure Hasbro will make a killing off his toys

Speaking of I really hope they release Cyberverse on DVD in a bundle-pack

“War Titan, do NOT ignore me!” YEAH USE YOUR MOM VOICE ON HIM WINDBLADE!!!

LOVE THAT ROCK MUSIC

“This has never happened before” now THERE’S an interesting tidbit

OH NO....ITS THE OTHER TITAN....CROATON....

on the one hand, I’m SO glad we’re getting the Titan battle I crave, but on the other, CROATON NO!!!

TRIFORCE BEAM!!!

I love that Windblade is Jaeger-ing this frickin Titan solo

WHOOPS THERE GOES THE STADIUM

“Optimus had a fight of his own...with gravity!” oh how the mighty have fallen Optimus lmao

I wonder how this wonky universe would handle a flier

JUST THROW A BUILDING AT A TITAN, NBD

SOMEONE PLEASE CATCH ARCEE

THANKS GRIMLOCK

THERE’S RATCHET Finally, I was wondering where he was

“Well it’s not my fault this won’t be a fair fight” OH SHOOT THERE IT IS!!! THERE IT IS

I can’t believe Starscream is trying to back-seat drive this fight lmao

SOUNDWAVE NO!!!! Oh thank goodness they’re ok

OH NO OH NO

IS THIS IT IS HE GONNA DIE?? MAC DONT GIVE IN TO FATE!!!  NO!!!

MAC NO!!!!!!!!!! MAC YOU DIDN”T HAVE TO DIE NO!!! YOU LITERALLY DID NOT HAVE TO STAND THERE AND GET BLASTED WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!!!!!!

“My last citizen...he is gone” FRICK IM GONNA START CRYING

Quints > Murdered Croaton's citizens most likely > Enslave Croaton > Inadvertently kill Iaconus' last citizen (WHICH HURT BECAUSE WE'RE MADE TO ASSUME IACONUS ONLY CARES ABOUT WAR BUT NO, HE LOVES HIS CITIZENS DEEP DOWN) > BEHEAD IACONUS LIKE, WHY YOU GOTTA STAB ME IN THE HEART LIKE THIS

Wheeljack you’re so smart but ALSO IM STILL CRYING OVER MACCADAM

“Hehe, you’re a nasty little fella” NICE JOB COWBOY

OH NO ALL THE SOUNDWAVES DANGIT I KNEW IT

AND HE”S A BIG LIAR HE DID HAVE SOME BLUE SOUNDWAVES

OH NO WHAT ABOUT WINDBLADE

HECK THAT”S SUCH A BAD PLACE TO STOP BUT I CANT WATCH ANY MORE EPISODES RN I GOTTA STAGGER THIS SERIES

[late-stagechosen]

So on my rewatch, I found a website called Anime Dao has Digimon 02 original audio, streaming, and I'm taping it, because a smartphone is my only concession to the 21st century (I live in a place reminiscent of my childhood, intentionally so)

Anyway, so my hearing loss is worst in the higher end of the speech range.

Even though my neighbours do it, I won't turn things up loud enough to disturb the neighbours, and I also live in the downtown of a very...lively city, and closing the window doesn't shut out as much noise as one would think.

Holy heck, I cannot hear half of what Miyako says. Also when the Digimon are in their little head forms, I have trouble there, too.

And that reminds me, I'm playing Ken as having not insignificant hearing loss from all the screams and explosions of the Digital World, both when he was conquering and enslaving, and afterward, when he overcame the Dark Seed and was taking down towers and stuff.

Really, any of the 02 Chosen could be candidates for this (I actually don't know about Adventure. I jumped aboard because of stuff I later found out Konaka was writing in 02, and Adventure never really seemed like something I'd get into going back and looking at) They're close quarters with a lot of things that could cause hearing damage.

Hearing damage just doesn't get a whole lot of representation in fiction. And gets so little love in the real world where not being able to hear someone never gets a response better than annoyance. And nowadays, closed-captions are no longer worth anyone's time, and they all use the same thing YouTube does, and I honestly gave up on worrying about having a modern-enough TV (never mind that only English and Spanish language TV even gets closed captioning in the US in the first place, so I'm not completely covered anyway)

And also, affordable hearing aids for a music lover? Blegh. If you thought early smartphone speakers sounded bad, you've not heard the half of it.

I don't know about modern closed captioning in Japan, although one can generally assume "standards higher than American" on most things. (Except decadent breakfast foods... America has that market cornered) (This does also vary by area, as to be expected in such a huge country. The SF Bay Area is second only to Hawaii in progressiveness, both above 2019's federal bar in a LOT of countries, LDP-ruled Japan included)

But frankly, anything else I enumerated, Ken probably struggles with. Although it's a lot easier to hear a high-pitched voice from a real person in front of me. English and Spanish, I drop words, but I have no problem carrying on a conversation with an excited two year old in Japanese. So since Miyako's real life to him, and I'm playing Ken as Yamato Japanese, native speaker, he likely has no problem. (Your highs are the first thing to go in hearing loss)

(Also, this blog defaults to age 21, so she's assumed 22 if she's a third party. Estrogen doesn't cause a vocal change, but having an adult sized body does somewhat)

He would drop words over the phone. Same as Japanese animation. No readable lips, coming through a speaker (no, not the same problem as mondegreens)

Most hard of hearing people prefer texts, although in Japan, your carrier gives you an e-mail address tied to your phone, so people either use that or apps like Line instead of the base SMS app we use in America. (That's all I can say because I left Japan in the first half of the '90s)

But, either way, written is better than phone.

So when Ken is actually talking to someone as a late teen or later, when this technology got big, he's more likely to message you back and forth that stay on the phone for hours on end. (Even if he really wants to be face-to-face with you, you have to ask for that because he's afraid of imposing his awful self, because he has less self-worth than rotten bean sprouts)

He has actually picked up a bit of JSL, but...see, again, it would be asking someone to do something for *his* sake.

With most people, he'll sort of pretend he heard the whole thing if it seems feasible. I think most people with some hearing left do this with strangers or when it's more of a bother to ask than fake it. But Ken would probably take to heart the treatment hearing impaired people get as *he's a problem* (exactly how you get treated, but I know that's a "them" problem. Ken doesn't)

He doesn't expect anyone to learn how to communicate with him better, he doesn't turn things loud enough to hear (he probably won't put on a record when you're over because he doesn't want to impose music you probably don't like [eyeroll])

(How to get my muse to marry your muse: one day, just start talking in JSL and not have any other reason to learn it than him www He doesn't exactly keep it secret that he studies it in a world of... Facegood? www he just doesn't expect anyone else to)

He can hear the teacher in a classroom. Lecture hall, dodgy. Toukyou streets? He's gonna miss things.

His hearing loss is both ears, fairly even.

Will it decline further with age/wear? He's not sure--hence learning sign.

I default here to assuming "once a chosen, always a chosen," so I don't assume an end to his adventures/role in the Digital World. The epilogue went one way, and then I saw a trailer for either Tri or Kizuna last week where Agumon was asking Taichi if they'd have to separate because Taichi was gonna be an adult soon, and he said no, but the narration was saying it was their last adventure, and I don't like that, so I'm rolling with lifetime appointment here.

I will say, no way Wormmon can sign effectively. If you don't know, you really need fingers. I don't see having ten legs being an effective stand-in.

The point is, there's always potential for more hearing damage, even if damage doesn't snowball with age. Not that it's ever not a good idea to acquire a new language.

NHK has free resources to learn many languages, including JSL. Ken has copies. There's also a guy as of 2018 posting JSL teaching videos (and he's from my province!) on YouTube. This is an extra resource of Ken's since he can mail order stuff and take community college classes and all that because he's not in a whole another country. So by the time those videos come out, they're vocabulary expanders, which seems like what they're meant to be.

(I want to learn to sign in my native as well as ASL)

I feel like this would dovetail nicely with his eventually going into nursing.

But yeah, Ken's hearing impaired because representation. And there's my full thing on it.

[ultraericthered]

Underrated Bad Guy Blurbs - Pokemon

Cipher Admins, Pokemon Colosseum and XD: Gale Of Darkness - Cipher is particularly vile and horrifying among evil groups in Pokemon games, as they’re like a wannabe Illuminati-type society that aspires to become rich and powerful enough to overtake the government of their region, and possibly the world, and the means they turn to involve experimenting on Pokemon, mentally enslaving them, corrupting their hearts with a dark force and turning them into mindless living weapons that they can turn against not only other Pokemon, but people as well. Heck, Cipher isn’t above using their own tools or bare hands to assault trainers in order to steal their Pokemon for turning into Shadow Pokemon. Also unsettling is that, due to their aspirations, many of their members are already in high ranking official positions outside of the group - Ein is a researcher, Miror B. is a club owner, Lady Venus is a public celebrity, Nascour runs a Colosseum, Snattle is a politician, even Evice is literally the mayor of Orre’s central city. Really makes you question who you can trust.

I have Ein up there as the image ‘cause he’s the one who developed the Shadow Pokemon creation process in the first place during his research and is constantly experimenting with it in order to perfect it just to show that he can. He’s my favorite Cipher Admin. along with his little protege Lovrina from the second game. I also am particularly fond of the creepy, gorgon looking Nascour, the effete, Poke’ Ball colored afro wearing disco dancer Miror B., and the crooked politician Snattle. Also have a soft spot for Cipher Peon Naps, Lovrina’s brother.

Gelardan, Pokemon The Movie 2000: The Power Of One - This antagonist from the second anime movie doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of depth to his character based on what you see on the surface. He’s just some obsessive, eccentric collector of rare Pokemon-related art and artifacts who’s totally misread an ancient prophecy and is objectifying four Legendary flying type Pokemon to add to his vast collection, and whose emotional range consists only of being affable, smug, and only sometimes surprised or angry. There’s actually a lot more to him than that. Supplementary material only in Japan gives his backstory of how his mother passed away when he was still young and the Ancient Mew card is his one keepsake of her, making it the one thing tying him still to her, but Gelardan also wanted to be his own person and make a life for himself. So he made the card only the start of a much larger collection that he’d surround himself with as a sort of retreat into his own little world isolated from others. Many speculate that he’s somewhere on the Autism Spectrum given his antisocial nature, general nerdishness and eccentricities, and hobby of collecting things akin to Satoshi Tajiri himself. When he obtained the tablet with the prophecy carved onto it, he misread it as meaning that there was no specific Chosen One other than the one who could make the prophecy happen (thus making HIM the Chosen One), that disturbing the three elements and making them clash, which would endanger the planet, would be okay to do so long as it’s him, the “Chosen One”, doing it, and that if he collected all three Legendary Birds (Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres), their strength combined could “tame the Beast of the Sea”, which he figured meant Lugia, who he wanted as the crown jewel of his collection (as opposed to it literally meaning the sea gets treacherous and threatens to flood the Earth).

The character’s name in the original version is Jirarudan, translated as Gelardan for English. However, all official side material name the character “Lawrence III” for some reason. I’d rather thank of that as a pseudonym for Gelardan, as it being his actual name is stupid and raises too many questions about why he’s the third Lawrence and who were the first two.

In Japan, he also has his own image song. And it is KICK ASS.

Lance, Pokemon Adventures - Lance the Dragon Master is always an intimidating looking figure and a powerful trainer, but only the Pokemon Adventures manga has ever turned him into an outright villain. But he made for one of the coolest Pokemon villains ever. This manga’s version of Lance was written almost as a proto-N and proto-Lysandre all in one - he has a natural empathy for Pokemon, especially Dragon types, and has always hated the various ways in which humans have made Pokemon suffer from their many vices and thoughtless ways. So with some goading from Agatha (who herself is motivated by a desire to prove her “elite strength trumps knowledge and heart” mentality correct), Lance seeks to eradicate all humans on his home continent save for the chosen elites (the Elite Four and all trainers who serve under them) so that the continent can become a paradise for Pokemon to be forever guarded by the elites, the “superior” humans who “truly” care about Pokemon. 

He was as much of a badass villain as you’d expect from a guy with his look, his style, his Pokemon type and strength, and the whole set-up of his goals and motivations. He quit pursuing any active villainy after he got his very life nearly zapped out of him by big attack from Yellow’s Pikachu, giving Lance a great fear of Yellow and what she’s capable of from then on. He also mentored Silver at Dragon’s Den in his hometown of Blackthorn City, and over time he learned to let go of his hang-ups and hatred towards humankind, seeing a future where trainers and Pokemon could co-exist and help each other live their best lives. 

The one part about Lance I’m not crazy about is how his powers are explained and how he was connected to the Virdian Forest despite canonically NOT being a trainer from Viridian. Apparently his family is from Blackthorn City in the Johto, but Lance’s mother gave birth to him while on a trip in Kanto, in the Viridian Forest. It really seems a contrived way for Kusaka to cover his goof-up of having deemed Lance a Virdian Trainer just so he can realistically pose a threat to Kusaka’s OP original heroine, Yellow. It doesn’t help that the “enhanced natural empathy for Pokemon” powers for trainers from the Viridian Forest was a dumb idea to start with, as the idea had already just been brought forth for trainers from Pallet Town rather than Viridian Forest, and N has these abilities without any stated Viridian connection! 

[rainforestgeek]

If you lose your strength to stand (I'm gonna reach for your hand) pt. 8 “Shelter”

Here’s chapter 8 of my long-ass Plance/Katt fic. Enjoy!

Read it on AO3

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 9

Keith spotted Matt a couple dozen meters down the hall and felt his heartbeat immediately pick up speed. He called out his name without thinking.

Matt looked up, then practically ran towards him. “Keith! I was looking for you. Are you doing okay after – ”

He couldn’t have this conversation out here. He grasped Matt’s elbow and pulled him into his old room. He shut the door but didn’t bother with the lights. The darkness felt comforting.

Keith’s eyes adjusted quickly. Antok had told him that was a galra thing – he’d always been able to see better in the dark than other humans.

Long minutes of silence, while Matt waited patiently, passed. Keith searched for words. “This is the third time I’ve lost him.”

“You’re really close, right?”

“He’s the only family I have. My dad died years ago.” Then there was his mom. Matt shifted his feet, which Keith learned meant he was debating whether he should say something. Keith sighed. “I guess my mom too, now.”

Matt stepped closer. “She can be your family now, too. If you’re ready to talk to her.”

Every one of Keith’s muscles seized up at the thought. He hoped he wasn’t shaking.

“Are you? Ready?”

Keith’s head thumped against the wall. He said hoarsely, “I don’t know.”

“Would it help if I hugged you right now?”

In lieu of answering Keith launched himself into Matt’s arms. For several moments they just held each other. Keith felt safer here, standing in his dark bedroom, wrapped up in Matt’s arms, than he had in months.

Matt’s warm skin felt so wonderful on his cheek that Keith impulsively grabbed his face and crashed their mouths together.

The rebel in his arms rolled with it, didn’t miss a beat, and kissed him back. Hot, forceful, their bodies pressed together, Keith thanked God he’d apparently read the signs right. Their armor clashed and scraped so they got to work removing each piece of armor and then clothing, stubbornly refusing to break the kiss whenever possible.

Keith impatiently dragged Matt to his bed.

Lance hated insomnia with a burning passion. He hated being dead tired but wide awake because of all the thoughts spinning around his head. He hated that he couldn’t control those thoughts, could make them shut up long enough to get to sleep.

So he paced the castle hallways, trying to let music drown out his thoughts. All that did was make his brain even louder. He put the headphones around his neck and listened to the little building noises that even magic alien castles seemed to make.

Yesterday (earlier today?) Allura and the other Coalition leaders agreed that no one outside that room could know about what happened to Shiro.

Lance was shocked but relieved that the man who’d been cold and harsh wasn’t Shiro, on the one hand. He knew something wasn’t right. On the other hand, there were so many problems now. Was Shiro alive? Could they ever find him? Who would fly the Black Lion? Was Keith ready to lead Voltron again? Being the Black Paladin had nearly drained Keith dry. Lance had been hurt but not shocked when he ran away to do some Assassin’s Creed soul-searching. Keith became a good leader, honest – but it cost him big time, hurtling towards a burnout, and he’d leaned heavily on Lance to stay upright. So not only was he worried about Voltron and Keith, but he suddenly missed Shiro all over again like a baseball to the stomach.

The best part? This was all dumped on Lance while he was already having a crisis. Could the war just not throw another curveball at him until he fixed his personal problems, please?

Of all things, the source of his internal world-spinning was Pidge. And the sudden, confusing crash of feelings he had surrounding her.

It’s not like anything changed in the last…what the heck, only the last two days? It felt like a week. All he knew was that he couldn’t breathe seeing Pidge beat up and pale and unconscious, and this morning the weight of the entire universe had fallen off his chest when she’d stumbled out of the healing pod and into his arms. He knew his heart freaked out when she’d hugged him back, and he knew that it freaked out even worse when she’d pushed him away.

In the storm of worrying and anxiety about Shiro and Keith and the whole damn universe, Pidge kept entering his thoughts: the warmth that filled his chest whenever she laughed, her face lighting up when she dissected a new piece of tech, and the bone deep fear of losing her. For the few minutes when he didn’t know if she were alive or dead, Lance had felt everything around him crumble because a universe without Pidge…was unthinkable.

The universe followed certain rules, Lance knew. Objects fell towards bigger objects, light bounced off of mirrors, sisters were annoying, and Pidge stayed alive.

Lance had taken that for granted. He’d known but never noticed how beautiful, clever, and impressive Pidge was until she’d almost –

Lance knew that he was incredibly stupid to only just now be realizing all this. He also knew that yesterday was the first time he’d been able to talk to Allura again, but she still made his gut tie itself up in knots.

Was it too much to ask to only have one girl problem at a time? Especially when said girls were BOTH unattainable? Now was not the time to get another crush!

Rubbing his eyes with a groan, Lance passed his room to make another circuit, maybe get something to drink. Or visit the cow.

He vaguely registered the swish of a door opening, but his name in Matt’s voice startled him. Just for the record, Lance did NOT scream, or jump, or flail, or press a hand to his heart. He could deal with surprise like a man.

Okay, he flailed a little.

Matt regarded him with a raised eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

No! “I’m fine. Just can’t sleep.” Lance scratched the back of his head and looked away, like if he made eye contact Matt would know exactly who he was thinking about and why. He realized exactly which door he’d just walked out of. “Were you in Keith’s room?”

“Maybe,” Matt said, sounding entirely too cocky. Lance looked back at him to see his cheeks were pink, but behind his coy and friendly smile his expression was completely shuttered. If there was anything Lance knew it was hiding behind a smile.

But what was with that smug…?

“Oh, oh! Oh gross, I’m never getting that image out of my head, thanks,” Lance grumbled. He made a point to rub at his eyes like he could erase it that way.

Matt said suddenly, “Are those my sister’s headphones?”

“Uh, yeah? She’s the only one who brought anything from Earth, so.” Lance shrugged.

“Pidge lets you borrow her stuff?”

“Maybe.”

Instant regret.

If his siblings were here they’d be smacking him upside the head and demanding to know if he had a death wish.

Matt’s expression morphed from disbelief to something completely unreadable. Lance scrambled back to his room as fast as his slippers allowed with a hasty “goodnight” over his shoulder.

Pidge recognized her brother’s footsteps. Even two years in space didn’t change his gait. She didn’t look away from the data on Shiro – the clone’s nervous system littering the screen in front of her.

“You should be sleeping.”

Huh? Pidge checked the time. The night cycle had started vargas ago. “I would’ve been awake thinking about this anyway. At least now I’m sleep-deprived and productive.”

She felt Matt look over her shoulder at large data pad in her lap. “How is he?”

“Not Shiro.”

Matt slumped down onto the floor next to her. “I guess this means I really haven’t seen him since the gladiator ring.”

Pidge didn’t know what to say. She’d rarely been in a position to comfort her brother before, not when he was the better part of a decade older. He wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on his knees while he stared at the clone in cryogenic stasis. His hair was rumpled and he wore ragged sleep clothes with his boots.

“He saved my life.” Matt saved her from having to speak. “I guess I owe him for that. Before, when he was really here, was he okay?”

Pidge shut off the pad. “Not exactly? He’d been an enslaved cage fighter for a year and lost his arm and his hair was turning gray…” Matt gave her a look. Half exasperated, half amused. Pidge tapped her fingers. “He was good. Strong. He was like a… surrogate big brother. I think we all would’ve lost our minds without Shiro.”

Matt laughed to himself softly. “He was great for morale on the Kerberos mission.”

Pidge waited for him to keep talking but was met only with several minutes of silence. She looked at him to see shiny tear tracks on his face. Alarmed, Pidge climbed into her big brother’s lap and hugged him. He cried quietly into her shoulder, his back shaking, letting out ragged little gasps. He clutched her like a lifeline and she let herself cry, too.

The bed was cold. The door hissed open. Keith rolled over and Matt climbed back under the covers with him. The coiled hardness in Keith’s chest loosened when, in the dim light, he saw Matt’s eyes were bloodshot. The latter dropped a kiss on his temple. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Keith touched Matt’s jawline gently and tried to say something. Before he could find the words or his voice, Matt pressed forward so Keith’s face was buried in his chest and he had strong arms around his waist. Their legs tangled together.

The warmth and pressure lulled Keith back to sleep.

[lovetheangelshadow]

N'Pressions: How to Train Your Dragon 3

Considering this year is like 80% remakes or sequels (maybe 90% but Nocty can’t math) there are very few films falling into that category that I have been genuinely excited for. And unfortunately Toy Story and Frozen aren’t high on my list of must see movies mostly because I feel that Toy Story should have stayed with the shorts and specials while Frozen is just…it’s okay but not really something that has stuck to me. Admittedly DreamWorks has always kind of a mixed roster of films for both good and ill. I do appreciate that they do try to toy outside the box as opposed to Disney and Pixar that have kinda felt safe over the last decade even if DW bombs it. The Dragons series has often been one of the most beautiful look and epic franchises of the studio even if it often feels like its Shrek who’s the face and Dragons (and Panda to an extent) are the little brothers that pull more work but aren’t really the standard the studio reaches for (looking at YOU Bee Movie).

Anyway Hidden World is the final film of the Dragons trilogy and is a mostly satisfying conclusion. I am not saying like there is giant Green Death sized plotholes or anything, but the journey felt like there could have…should have been more to it. Anyway, the plot is that Hiccup is now chief and is trying to balance responsibility between being the leader and saving dragons from hunters and enslavers. Of course his idealistic concept of humans and dragons living together in harmony is hitting snags since the village is getting overcrowded with dragons and it making them a bigger target. I don’t fault Hiccup too much for this as he wants to do what is right between the two races and kind of brushes off legit concerns from others. As if on cue, dragon hunters hire a top notch mercenary named Grimmel who has a hate for Nightfuries. And I might as well get this out of the way. There are quite a few comparisons at least for me between Dragons 3 and King Fu Panda 3. Both protagonists have to learn what it means to be a leader/chief/teacher, have side characters who don’t really serve the plot a whole lot, and kinda forgettable villains that had a lot of potential to stand out but don’t. And share a connection to someone the protagonist cared about but is now dead. Don’t get me wrong, I get what they were trying to go for-essentially a Hiccup who killed the Nightfury without hesitating and while isn’t physically strong like the other Vikings has the strategic knowledge and tool arsenal to get the job done. Basically an Alternate Timeline Hiccup in a way that Drago was a Hiccup who used force and intimidation instead of empathy and compassion to train dragons. And that is not a bad concept to work with. Except he was largely forgettable for me. Heck it’s been years but I will remember Alvin the Outcast, Dagur, and Vigo. That is not to say that Grimmel doesn’t push Hiccup to his limits physically and emotionally; hell when he has Toothless entrapped Hiccup’s self-worth practically goes off the New Berk cliff, but I actually had to look him up to remember his name.

And there is the side crew of other dragon riders. Again it’s a mixed bag. The best in the bunch is definitely Astrid who can both kick tail and be Hiccup’s emotional support when she feels she needs to. I’ve mentioned this before with my Trolls series review, but I appreciate how they’ve both built up and complement the relationship between these two. Astrid is the warrior who sometimes needs to stir up Hiccup into action or confidence and Hiccup is the strategist who will pull Astrid back when he feels like she’s going too far. Admittedly I rolled my eyes at the romance in the first film (then again same for Trolls), they have actually did go and show why these two are meant for each others and is handled a lot better than Panda or…She-Ra. Yeah sorry DreamWorks, I keep taking that shot at you, but only because I know you’re capable of doing better. The others…I sweat to Nox I don’t know why they are here. At least in the 2nd movie they were off on a separate mission to track down the dragon hunters while Hiccup was investigating the mysterious ice spewing beast and had their shining moments; but here…not so much. And what the Nox is with Snoutlout hitting on Hiccup’s mom? Who thought that was endearing or funny? Yes, Snotlout was always an arrogant asshole with daddy issues, let’s face it, but at least he was tolerable. Even the twins who’ve had funny moments in the series annoyed me. And then Fishlegs, don’t get the baby gag either. Also, as I’ve said before, they don’t really acknowledge the series. Heck you didn’t necessarily need to make new charqacter models. Maybe have Hiccup and the team receive a letter or something from Dagur or Heather saying they were attacked and just barely escaped and then have Grimmel strike Hiccup’s home to prove a point, but still. I get that now everyone necessaily had access to Nickelodeon or Netflix, but you could like say release the series on DVD when you put this out for Home Video? No? For something big on continuity, that was kind of miffing. And don’t worry, Digimon Tri, I WILL get to you someday. Don’t think I will ignore that slight.

But let us get back to positives. If there is one thing that DreamWorks has had a strength in with one or two exceptions, it’s the animation. I love the varied designs of the dragons, the dragon armor, and the new locations. Granted we really don’t see much of the Hidden World and it doesn’t really serve much to the plot otherwise being a catch all ending with Hiccup and Toothless going their separate ways to be the leaders their tribes need. Speaking of Toothless the dialogue-less interactions between him and Bright Fury are totes adorable and even sweeter than Wall-E and EVA. Also even if death, its neat to see how much of an influence Stoik had on Hiccup. Maybe I am reading too much into this but in the flashback when Stoik is talking about the Hidden World and how he wants to find it and seal it up so humans and dragons don’t have to fight anymore, suggests that maybe he took his wife’s ideals to heart after he saw her being snatched up by Cloudchaser that he wanted to end things a bit more passively compared to the first film where he wanted to find the dragon nest and raze it to the ground. Makes you wonder that over time, constant disappointment and death made his hopes of fulfilling some aspect of his wife’s wishes just fizzed out. Hell it would have been interesting to see Grimmel mock Hiccup saying Stoik thought like Hiccup did once and look where it got him. That might have given some more credence to his character or hell have some desire of twisted vengeance against Hiccup and Toothless.

Overall the film is still an enjoyable conclusive adventure even if it doesn’t end things with a bang and pulls a Bye Bye Butterfree on us (yes I cried!). Still I am pretty satisfied with how things ended and pray to Nox they don’t milk this like a certain other franchise. I know about Kung Fu Panda: Paws of Awesomeness but at least the premise of that actually makes sense for a continuation and no I am not paying for an amazon prime video service. I am still having trouble with Crunchyroll for Nox sake. That and there really isn’t much forward you could go with the Dragons franchise. Maybe a spin off with other characters as the focus with Hiccup and team cameoing? Hey I’d be down for that. But as it is, I’d be cool with it if they left it alone. I’m Noctina Noir and I should go and find a way to fit my dragon toy because I accidentally broke it.

[idio-cies]

My Thoughts on S7

Okay first things first.

Atm my emotions are mixed. I am angry, disappointed, confused and happy all at once.

I don’t think that this was a bad/terrible season per ce but there were definitely different elements in it that rubbed me the wrong way.

These guys can never catch a fucking break can they?

I’ll do plot points/devices before I go into characters because... whoooooo

Okay so like, the beginning of the season was actually pretty damn good, the road trip episode (episode 2) was really fun, it was making me laugh and it wasn’t too out of the narrative, it laid the ground for the fact that going into the rift and such messed up time (I thought it would). Then the family feud episode was ehh... and there was a couple of other things that you felt were steering the season downhill. And then the flashback episodes happen and that’s when you knew everything went out the window and into the pot.

Look, I’m not usually one of those people who doubt or anything at the crew. heck I gave them a chance at still showing themselves after I watched LoK which I hated. I did. There was something about LoK that made me feel so weird and it was because of how poor it was, after the flashback episodes I began to get that same feeling. That is not good, though  was still hyperventilating over the fact that the new season was out and Earth was in danger etc etc. I am just disappointed in the crew. It always starts out pretty good and then goes to shit. (well actually S4-6 was all over the place).

So Plot points. The Earth being in danger? I knew that would happen, it is a dark thing, it was about war. Sendak wanted to exploit their vulnerabilities. It makes sense due to the fact that Sendak was Haggar’s puppet. Hence why we see that white alternative Voltron Robeast at the end that turns out to be an Altean powering it. 1 altean manning that was like fucking incredible though. That cliffhanger sets up something with Allura. I was saddened when it looked like that Altean business was swept under the rug in that episode with Kolivan. I knew Haggar would then be involved with the other Alteans but damn she works fast. That episode with Kolivan did hint that it’s not going to be over for them in deep space. This opens up so many things... Hopefully (I’m finding myself saying that a lot now in response to this show). Anyways, yeah. The next person to take down is Haggar and I’ve always been on board with the idea that Allura will go 1-on-1 with her because it was awesome what we saw of Allura in S2 with her alchemy and it will be a chance to show how much Allura has learnt about herself. Allura is the one connected by the way. That’s telling enough. It was just her in that end scene, no other paladins. I want this to be her battle.

Enslavement? who saw that coming as soon as earth was under attack *raises hand*. It was obvious. I was actually surprised with the technology that Earth managed to create, I know it was because it was because of Altean functions etc, but they actually achieved it, like what the hell. Also the setting. So do people think this is in the future or an alternate reality of our current Earth? because Veronica said about WWIII and I place my bets on alternate reality. Plus it would be quaint with Voltron and all that jazz.

There were some plot points that were just like really?? like, I think I speak for the entire fandom that was happened with Adam was shit. As soon as Sam said they were doomed I was like “Oh no, this isn’t going to end well.” but they didn’t even give us the decency to see his ship blow up, only to see his tag go red like, shit man, why did you play us dirty like this? It is suspicious that that happened, but after everything I highly doubt Adam is alive. I just want to say though. That device of when a character is killed off screen, well that either can tell you that they are irrelevant to the story (like Lady Macbeth in Macbeth) or it can be because the scene holds weight to it. Not too much, but some, and that scene I didn’t feel anything, just a void. I knew he was doomed.

Overall with the plot in he second half, again it was one thing after another. I have to say though, it wasn’t as rushed to me as it has been previously. Thing is, that just seems to be the way of vld now; it’s rushed. One thing after another and these guys really do not get a break whatsoever.

I thought we would see a little more Romelle, but just like everything, vld seems to not have the time to do stuff like that.

Okay the amount of parallels to S1 was ridiculous. It puts my theory forward but I find it hilarious because S1 is the better season. The parallels are important. i spotted ep 1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11. There was other parallels to other seasons but those parallels are really important to me for my theory on things repeating. And guess what, that happened with Hunk! For others it is a mixture of arcs (Pidge, Keith and Allura) and for Lance it is a repeat as well, with Keith. I can’t believe that that theory is the one thing that still stands from S4 onwards, I kinda feel proud.

I also want to say how many fucking rainbows there were this season. They were everywhere!!!! When my hope did fleet for a second, I did think “are the rainbows what the crew meant by LGBT rep?” because, what the actual fuck. They were everywhere. I don’t know whether people agree with me, but in the fights I still saw the Bi colours, especially against the robeast at the end... and there was a scene with Lance when they were out of commission. I believe it was the scene where Veronica was calling for Lance, there was the Bi colours there. The blue on his suit and outside was prominent and the purple from the blasts and the red in blue looked oddly pink, it was so fucking weird. It may be wishful thinking and the quality was not great, but the colours were there I’m almost certain of it. I don’t know whether anyone is with me in that though?

So characters.

I’ll start with Pidge.

There wasn’t much over her character this season, but she has her whole family reunited. Okay, right Pidge is not very popular rn, but like Sam telling Colleen that their Children are “strong like their mother” moved me. At least they display that. I liked Colleen actually, I really did. Sam’s command was cool to see but Matt arriving home? He gave me soooo many Edward Elric vibes like wtf. Pidge was her usual, just at least she wasn’t digging at Lance the entire season.

Hunk

I think it's safe for me to say that everyone was fairly happy with Hunk getting some more attention? I was happy with what Keith told him on earth and the display or growth he showed when floating around in space. It was really cool and gives us a firm point that he too has had growth, it wasn't just in S1. It was lovely to see, though I still have some things I'm not so happy about, I'll come back to that later. But yeah. Hunk’s arc(s?) in this season were actually heart warming to see. Hunk kept the team together which is something that makes sense with his character, though the sticking together thing can be shown with Shiro and Lance? But yeah. That scene with him working through anxiety was actually really nice. Then later with his parents, it hit me in the feels. Then what Keith tells him was so sweet because it was so lovely to see something 1 on 1 with Hunk because he never gets that, I wonder if his siblings(??) are okay, we only saw his parents...

Shiro

So, despite the injustice of Adam, Shiro taking the captain role... I knew that would happen and I’m happy it did. The white lion thing? Yeah, that was Atlas. That was really nice too, it really was just let down by a few things and it was all to do with relationships. Okay, right I know Keith and Shiro get a lot of screen time and stuff but after that first episode it was like it went *poof* like episode 1 didn’t even happen which I thought was highly strange, I was expecting to see more of their dynamic but I guess not. Then of course there was the Adam stuff, I almost wept in the last episode where Shiro was talking and it honed in on Adam’s plaque and Shiro was saying something about sunlight. Urgh, just kill me now. Then finally, I did think something would be suggested with Lance but nope, nothing. I knew Lance’s arc and Shiro’s help wouldn’t happen this season but I’d found so much that suggest it, even in the newer seasons and I thought it would still run in S7 as a hint, nope nothing. I still think Lance was hung up over Shiro and such in the first episode, but like overall? We didn’t even see Shiro in with Lance’s lion. Lance either had Romelle or... well, nothing...

I knew Sendak would be Shiro’s to take down. Makes sense with the 0109 and 0104 parallel. Oh wait! In that case, I did think when I saw that fight scene with Sendak, I did think of how Shiro was protecting Lance at the time, so that could be a hint because it was a throwback, but I’m not sure.

Allura

Okay Allura fucking confused me this season. Though it was cool seeing her royalty badge slip, she is becoming her own person, a paladin of Voltron. Not just Allura, Princess, Daughter of King Alfor. It’s all about her legacy arc and finding that she can be her own person, not just live for the purpose of her father, that she is also not alone in everything. The thing is, some of those things are who Allura are, it’s just she needs to find that balance. Her authority in this season stood out to me for some reason. Like, she still had a voice, but it wasn’t her usual one of her place of being royalty. Allura is still finding herself. The Alteans plot line is for her, always has been, always will be. Her royalty title is a strange one, and it would feel like she is reverting back to it, but she’s not, because that is one of her titles and she is good at that, she is still a teenager bless her and like I keep saying, she is still finding herself, she doubts herself too. We were told in a review that Allura and Hunk were the ones with the arcs, but Allura’s was very subtle. It was basically leading to her last arc, but she did give up her royalty title when she threw her crown on the floor and gave up the crystal. Also guys, Allura’s arc is weird when you add in Lance, like her having feelings for him now is so fucked up? and in the next season I’m waiting for there to be a break. I will talk a bit more about this when I get to Lance because it will be easier, but yeah. I love Allura and I want her arc to be of justice and she is so close, but I find it ssooooo very interesting that the two characters with most of the character development left to undertake are Lance and Allura and this can go one of two ways; their arcs respectively end up making them grow together to be better or they end up growing a part. When I get to Lance, I can tell you which one it will be.

Keith

Keith's growth really does show, but it’s super weird right? I was right about things still needing some time with Krolia, though I thought there would be more too it that would end up with more angst but I was wrong. I was wrong and right about a lot of things... Anyway, I was expecting there to be something more there with the build-up to Keith calling Krolia Mum/Mom, I head-cannoned something that I thought might work with Adam and Shiro in respect to this (forgiveness and acceptance) but that flew waayyyyyy out the window and into an electrified fence. Anyway, so a little disappointed about that, though I knew it would arrive and I still was on the brink of tears when I saw it because like, this is Keith we’re talking about. So I was right with Keith and creating firmer bonds with the others, except there are two gaps. Allura and Lance. Keith and Hunk was the “pair we haven’t seen in a while”- I knew it would be those pairs from 0209-10 or klance in ref. to 0107, and I was almost there, except Klance was fucking weird (I’ll get to that later). Keith and Hunk was actually really fucking sweet like omg. Keith still being closed off with his arms, but slowly coming out of the shadows and being open was so... urgh, it was lovely to see and it’s something that I wanted to see. Shiro and him is just the norm now, but like I said with Shiro, I thought it were weird that it was just dropped after ep 1. Then Keith and Pidge, I mean, not anywhere near Hunk and Keith displayed, but it paralleled Klance which was so... weird. I’m glad but confused because of what I’ve said before about the parallel theory I have, but Pidge and Keith were still working together, Keith got it quicker as well. I just thought it was super weird how Pidge had almost literally turned into Lance. I’m so confused by it because I can’t tell if it’s a good or a bad thing...

So anyways, if we stay on the topic of Keith and his bonds with people, he referenced the friendship thing in 5th(?) episode when they were floating around in Space. That whole scene was... ummm yeah, very telling. Keith hurt Allura, Allura hurt Keith and then Lance was hurting Keith and Keith was hurting Lance. It was complicated. Allura and Keith have always been patchy and they need to work on it. the forgiveness in S2 was super weird because it was one-sided and then Keith didn’t want her to lecture him in S4, leaving where they are with things is because of Keith. Keith was the one to dig at Allura first and Allura bit back. Yeah, that is something they need to work on. Keith apologises to them all, though it wasn’t individual, plus he goes on to be good with Hunk and Pidge later on. I feel like Keith needed to apologise to Allura separately, like he also needed to do in S2... Then with Lance... Lance was hurt because of the actions, not what was said. Lance started to perk up only when Allura called out Keith for leaving. I don’t think Lance added to that because of his ties with Allura, otherwise he would have said something first, but he said about Keith leaving twice, it hurt him differently and was separate from Allura. I mean, I’m sure there was an element of Lance sticking up for Allura, but yeah, he wouldn’t have said what he said if it was just for her, it was personal. Plus, (yes I will still listen to the crew) one of the crew said that Keith leaving hurt Lance specifically. I stand by this because the narrative we have been shown doesn’t make sense other wise, we wouldn’t have seen Lance be so isolated etc when Keith was away. Keith’s interactions with Lance were weird, but I’ll talk about that later. But still. Keith, if he explores romance (it would make sense with the bonds he has made; parental, brotherly, friendship etc) he seems to be super bad at it (again, I’ll get into that later)... but yeah, he needs to patch things with Allura and Lance because I think they will show that he has a unique bond with each of them, plus Voltron is like “The Keith show” now, so it would be stupid if they didn’t patch it.

So, lets talk about Axca and Keith. I’m sorry I crack up every time I think about this because of how devoid Keith is. It is fucking hilarious. Thank god someone officially said in a review that it was one-sided because it so totally is. So first. The bonding moment, that came up 3 times. 1st with Krolia, though this was never shown to have a reaction shot, and was basically the “Keith” in that situation, plus context was all different. Then we had Ezor and Zethrid. Ezor is meant to parallel Lance, but Ezor has the fond look on her face, but the words said and such was meant to parallel the bonding moment, no doubt. Though, it did feel like a joke... The whole Ezor and Zethrid thing was weird-up from the very beginning. Then we arrive with Axca and she says “It brought me to you” meaning Keith, I full on cackled. Keith’s face is devoid, he makes no discrepancies of what she really means and it is so funny because omfg. his “reaction shot” isn’t even a reaction. There was no weight to it whatsoever. This is what I’m getting at. The bonding moment held a lot of weight because of all the elements, the lighting, the music, the looks, everything- but also because it was reciprocated. Ezor and Zethrid was blatant because it was reciprocated but Krolia and the Axca, it wasn’t. I would be concerned if Keith had said something in return or even a fond look or maybe even surprise like “OOHHHH you meant like that”- but it didn’t... there was nothing. There wasn’t the same music. Then that end scene where Axca comes to the grave??? I was so confused and my thoughts were “Ohhhh you’re gonna be disappointed” because it was all from Axca’s side. Keith suggested nothing, even when he fought to help Axca, nothing, he was being Keith in that moment. Their whole “relationship” just seemed to be like “I hate being indebted to someone, so I’ll help you and that’s it” also, when they meet Keith was starting his arc really... I mean, there is weight to their relationship but I find it so funny because I don’t see an ounce of romantic reciprocation from Keith. Keith makes absolutely no effort to be fond or anything, except to Lance, and then when he checked out Rolo. That is the thing that makes me live. Keith making all those fond looks and such at Lance and their dynamic in S1 and S3 matched with all the tropes in S2, it doesn’t make sense. Keith is gay. I really do still believe that.

Okay, so Lance.

I am disappointed, I was depressed about it all but now I am riding on something. So you know how Lance is like the Sokka incarnate? Yeah, I think they’re gonna pull a Sokka. I mean, I really thought about it and I was like, well I wasn’t 100% happy about the Sokka arc but at least his insecurities were handled and such, though some things were left rather late. Sokka had the meteorite sword and he took a whole episode trying to master it, it was all about his insecurities as well, there was a sense about him that was totally serious and now I can’t help but think of Lance. I believe it was Joaquim who said Lance’s arc is subtle and his favourite. Well, if that’s so (and it is subtle) they will do him justice and have things handled. In the family feud episode, I was not happy, but they referenced Space mall and The Depths a lot. The depths (if any have read that post I did) made me hopeful. The family feud episode felt like a huge dig at Lance and it totally was. For over half of it, he was the centre of attention. I may talk about that episode separately as there is a lot on it, but I do have acceptance over it, though I do feel cheated and annoyed. But yeah. Sokka ended up helping his father in the war, so it will be slightly different. I haven’t watch ATLA in ages, but I know that Sokka’s father called him a good man or something, and that was all Sokka wanted to hear as he did have to grow up quickly in his water tribe, but because of that, he exerted that child-like goofy behaviour. He didn’t have any bending skills, but he got by with his instincts and tactics (sound familiar). Lance feels like he doesn’t bring anything, but his growth relies on him to use instincts and tactics. This is shown with Keith putting his faith in Lance and Lance looks so lost almost every time (expect the drone shooting, that was weird) and then when Lance accepted his death, it makes my heart hurt to think about it. He gave up. It is a parallel to the Keith scene in 0605. He gave up on himself and Red saved him. If anything, that puts Klance further forward. You know what though? you would have thought Lance would have fought a losing battle to get his sister to safety, but he didn’t. That’s what hit me the most. Their teams would have lost important members respectively, they would have lost without them, plus their family would have lost two members. I can’t believe Lance let himself give up. It really does show how troubled he is deep down. After the impression we get from Lance, fighting to save someone he has known for all of 10 minutes and then lunges at Ezor to not get to Pidge though he was tied up and then not even make an effort to save his sister? What was that? WHAT WAS THAT. That’s what made me cry. I knew that Red wouldn’t activate with the others. you could see it coming. Then Red saves him, yet it was a huge surprise because, usually when Keith was saved by Red we always saw Red glow. I still have hope for Klance, and this scene is one of the reasons why. That context of Red saving Lance and it being a huge fucking surprise, yep, i just.

I will say it once and I will say it now. Lance did not get an arc this season. Why? Well, it actually wasn’t stated that he would, but the groundwork is still there. At this rate, they are just dragging Lance face-first through the mud. If they don’t give him an arc it would be a huuugggeee injustice to his character. Yes, it was annoying that Hunk got the family arc and not Lance as Lance seemed to be the one hinted at that, but they still put in his insecurities and also how he has not fully connected with his lions. I have so much to say about Lance, so bare with (when do I never?).

Okay so first. The paladins have each had those connection things with their respective lions except Allura individually with Blue and Lance in general. Shiro was the first with Black S2 (?), then Pidge S2, then we saw Keith with black in S6 and S7 again, Allura with the whole of Voltron in S6 and then Hunk in S7. Lance, I know we are riding on trusting what Jeremy and other crew members have told us, but Jeremy said he will connect with his lion. Well, when we had that opportunity like the others, he still hasn’t connected, but Red still saved him and he did use his Bayard 3 times which is a first, though it was never on his own. The first time there was no build up to it which was weird, but it was with Keith and they drew no attention??? Then next with Pidge to get the dual blades which was cool, and there was build-up, then lastly again with Keith and there was build-up there. I don’t think that that is the “connection” Jeremy was talking about, but Lance seems to slowly be getting there.

You know there are loads of people thinking that Lance will be like “nah, I’ll stay on earth, I’m not worthy anyway” when the paladins inevitably have to leave earth again for another space battle. Well, I think I believe that more now than ever. It makes sense, especially after that “I accept my death” scene. Lance is not a stable human and his insecurities are really getting the better of him now. Somebody pointed out, all during the family feud thing “I’m not dumb, I’ll prove it”, straight after: “You know I’m the dumb one” :// I just aaaahhhhhhhh. The Shiro thing... I don’t know whether that will come back, I thought during episode 1 that Lance was still concerned about that, but I’m not sure. But Lance’s insecurities need to be handled, and here’s how A//urance doesn’t make any fucking sense.

You know how I said earlier about Allura and Lance being the ones with the most remaining character development left to go and that could either bring them together or break them apart. Well, here’s some food for thought: Allura is almost there, but Lance isn’t. Why present a romance when a character is at their lowest and doesn’t talk about it whilst the other one is thriving, doesn’t realise the other persons low but continues to grow because of this person if they were meant to be? Absolutely nothing indicates to me that Allura makes Lance feel better about his insecurities. Her presence and such may make him feel better, but that one time Lance faltered in 0302 and let slip some of his doubt in himself Allura told him to go after Red. the one time, now it’s like that never ever happened. The one time Lance lets out his doubts to Allura and she directs him elsewhere? To red no less? I have this theory that Lance prefers the weight of actions over words as no one has ever been able to make him feel better with just words, except Keith, who then proceeded to do an act. Allura directing him to Red was words and actions too, but he was smitten over Allura saving him, but any other time it’s just words and it doesn’t leave a mark, but it does for Allura. This is why A//urance doesn’t make sense. It builds up Allura more than it does Lance and only now is Allura showing any feelings towards Lance and it’s weird. I know that Lance was telling Allura to be safe because of his bias, but then Allura does it and it was weird that Lance didn’t say it first... I don’t get it. Their arcs don’t align, and if people are correct with Lance doubting so much that he will stay on earth, and now Allura is tied back to living Alteans again, the only thing for them to do is drift apart romantically speaking. Like I said with one building up (Allura) and the other staying still (Lance)- it doesn’t make any sense. It would be stupid because it is an injustice to both of their characters. Allura has another path and Lance has another. It would still be what Lance wants and not what he needs.

So lets finally talk about Klance. Okay, they were super weird to me this season, but I still believe in klance, because of what I said above, and more. Look, so lets get something straight(lol). There has been a slight role reversal. It is super weird because they have the dynamic of S3, but Keith is acting like old, closed-off Keith when Lance is being genuine. Keith to me seemed pretty hostile and that in of itself and the fact that he had his arms crossed and such in the family feud episode is enough to tell us that the “rivalry” is not through, and it would be stupid if it was left like that, as they are meant to be friends as Keith said in the 5th episode. It is stupid if they didn’t come to a close about it because it was evident that Keith wasn’t telling the truth, because he was closed off and poked at Lance. I mean, I don’t blame Keith, though when you look at S1 and especially S3 you’re like Huh? because Keith did put faith in Lance, but he was being Shitty towards him too and it was so weird because he wasn’t acting that way with anyone else. Not even James, which I’m sure was meant to be a parallel to Keith and Lance. As James was hostile to Keith when he first saw him and then, by their last interaction James was being cocky and teamed up with him, acting like a friend. I also found it hilarious how James knew exactly who Keith was and Keith in return had no clue, they always honed in on Keith and his face just read “I feel like I know you but I just can’t put my finger on it”- you would think of all the people in the Garrison that he would remember James, but nope.

Does anybody else feel like everyone falls away when Keith and Lance have moments? Like in S3, they frame their moments so it looks like they’re alone? Well they still do that in this season. So, first scene was when Keith goes to help Axca and leaves Lance in charge. Literally everyone walks past them and Lance turns around and gets Keith to turn around (lol, thats a visual trope) and Lance’s face screams that he has never had this much faith put on him, I mean, Allura, Shiro and Krolia were there and then Coran as well, this was everyone and Lance was put in charge of leading them all out safely. I think especially because Shiro was now there you would think Shiro got the lead, or it be a shared responsibility. But Lance’s face, bless his heart.

Then we have the drone thing where it was literally only them. Keith said not to miss but it was weird. I saw someone say it was like a tease, but I disagree, a little. His facial expression matched with his tone didn’t suggest that, but Lance made no reaction, so it might have not phased him, he didn’t miss though. But that is a role reversal of 0107. “I’ll distract them, you take the shot” is the equivalent of all the gestures Lance made in 0107. Also Lance’s face is a little confused when Keith says not to miss. Keith wasn’t exactly being hostile, and he wasn’t full-out teasing, it was a bit more like the start of a gag they could have between them, it was super weird. Glad to see the sniper again though (mwahahahaha means his growth bitches).

Then we arrive at family feud and like Lance is so genuine and tentative, his face is all soft and is the same face he makes when speaking about Allura in his vlog and he says that Keith is the future. If that doesn’t make you scream and have hope, I don’t know what will. They voted for each other! I just can’t man. Lance takes the longest to write down who he chooses, Keith takes the shortest and lance comes out saying shit like that. Man, way to puncture my heart. Then Keith is closed off and just says that he doesn’t want to be stuck with Lance, Lance thinking he said something nice though is stupid. 1. it puts across that Lance is dumb (again), 2. It feels like Lance doesn’t listen which doesn’t show his growth. But I’m gonna keep saying this, the fact that there is still clearly a rift between them makes no sense if they were to leave it that way, they will have to work through that. Plus Keith was open to Lance in S3, why throw that all away. Lance was being so open to Keith in S3, now he’s really genuine in comparison to Lance’s facade and rivalry, why squander that. Then the bonding moment, what was the point in having that, paralleling that but it not having the same affect as it did with the other times we saw it, unless you look at the other one that is almost exactly the same with Krolia and Texas. It makes no sense to build something so early on to fuck it up. Their character arcs won’t do it justice if keith also isn’t open and at least friends with Lance, or for Lance to be so insecure about taking up some more leadership roles or just being insecure in general. The fact that Allura and Keith still have a rift between them and so do Lance and Keith is really fucking interesting. Why those two, ohhhhh you don’t think it could be because Lance has always tried to get closer to Allura and now he is and Keith is very fucking confused about Lance now he’s being so genuine about everything. I wonder if Keith is annoyed at Lance. It is meaningful that Keith put that faith in Lance despite Lance looking like a lost puppy.

Guys, the context is still there. The whole time whilst watching and i got to that A//urance scene, I was just confused because the development with Klance otherwise makes no fucking sense. Keith is nowhere near interested in Axca, Lance still is upset about Keith leaving, Lance has insecurities, Lance raises Allura up, though he is still dragging himself down, Keith has a rift and it just happens to be with Allura and Lance, mostly Lance, though he finds it easy to dig at Allura. Those 3 I swear to god. As I said before, as vld now seems to be “The Keith Show” I’m sure those bonds will get sorted. Allura’s arc has been left on a cliffhanger for her to solve and Lance is digging himself a grave it seems. Everyone else seems to be good atm.

Maybe this restored some positivity? maybe not. A few threads of my hope did fleet, but seriously, I’m trying to look at the brighter side of things. It is not fair about the queerbait, I grant you that, and I have a feeling that Lance will be like Sokka and it being rather late and then IF we get Klance, it will be probably like Korrasami... which is a huge shame, but is the only way I see things happening.

Sorry for those who has lost faith and are very disappointed, I’m still disappointed to, but now I’ve arrived at acceptance in some places. sorry for the length

Later Paladudes ;)

[makerkenzie]

Endgame ships

For the sake of further transparency, I’m going to tell you all what I expect for the endgame relationships of ASOIAF/GOT. These are not what I “ship,” specifically, these are what I think GRRM has planned for the series.

If you’ve followed my blog at all, you know I am a regular proponent and defender of Jaime/Brienne. It is known. This is THE big slow-burn ship of ASOIAF. It is the most emotionally resonant, politically significant romance in the series. It is the only endgame-viable relationship involving two POV characters. House Lannister has a future because Jaime loves Brienne and she loves him.

Right? That’s hardly news, coming from me.

Next up! SanSan. I don’t “like” this ship. I still think it’s happening. Granted, it’s been much better-foreshadowed in the books, while the show has let it go totally invisible since the end of Season 2. That doesn’t mean it’s not happening on the show. Just means D&D think it doesn’t call for much more development than it’s already had. Sandor is now headed for Winterfell, which is where Sansa is! Season 8 will see them reconnect.

Also! Arya/Gendry. Again, no mention of their connection since Season 3 on the show, but it’s still happening. Gendry’s headed to Winterfell! Arya will be happy to see him.

Sam/Gilly. Yep, the more I think about it, the more I think this is viable for the endgame. Sam can’t very well be held to his Night’s Watch vows if there is no Night’s Watch at the end, and Sam seems like one of the most likely survivors of the series. He’s already met the love of his life, she’s gone so far as to name her baby for him. They might as well make it work.

Edmure/Roslin. Not the most auspicious start to a marriage, but she seems to genuinely like him, and they already have a kid together, so, assuming Edmure survives, he can make it work with Roslin. I don’t think he’ll be especially powerful, but he can Roslin can still be together.

Davos...will hopefully get back to his wife? The show is basically acting like Lady Mariya doesn’t exist, but it hasn’t given him an alternate romantic interest, either, so I’ll assume his marriage is still viable. 

I don’t think any of the Three Heads of the Dragon will die, per se. I’m squishy on a ‘ship for Tyrion, but I think he should survive, I like to think he will survive, and he can work together with Jaime on cleaning up their father’s mess.

Jon/Dany is important for the short-term, but it’s not built to last. The realm has already suffered quite enough upheaval stemming from Targ inbreeding, thanks. A child and grandchild of Aerys II, having babies together? Seven Hells, no. 

I think Jon’s endgame will be that he basically becomes the new Night’s King, but his strategy is to keep the White Walkers contained in the True North where they can’t threaten humanity. It’s not really death, but it’s not life. It’s the logical conclusion for a good guy who’s already died once. If he were meant to die for real, he wouldn’t have had the fake-out death. If he were meant to have a normal life, he wouldn’t have needed to be resurrected. He gets the bittersweet, Frodo-type ending.

This is the part where y’all’re gonna think I’ve lost the plot, but here goes:

I think Dany will survive, and she will be the mother of at least one living, human child. She will not sit the Iron Throne. There will be no Iron Throne at the end; Dany will be Princess of Dorne. Dany’s child(ren) will not be Jon Snow’s issue; she’ll be married to Jorah Mormont. 

First I’ll explain: why Dorne?

I think Dany will survive, and her survival will be relevant to the endgame, but there will be no Iron Throne and if there is, Dany won’t be on it. 

Why not Dany as Queen of the Seven Kingdoms? Why not Dany married to Jon?

I am aware of GRRM noting that the interaction of Jon and Dany is basically the whole point of the series. I respect that, and I think the combination of Jon and Dany is necessary to save humanity from the Snow Zombies. He has NOT said the whole point of the series is to institute a restoration of the dangerously inbred Targaryen regime. He did NOT say the point is to vindicate the ravings of Dany’s vicious, paranoid, incompetent big brother. 

Another thing GRRM has shown us is that resurrection doesn’t let you just pick up where you left off. Coming back from death comes at a price. If Jon were meant to have a happily-ever-after with his pretty young aunt, he wouldn’t have been killed before he met her.

So! If Dany lives long enough to have a kid (and I think she will), but not with Jon (please no) and isn’t meant to sit the Iron Throne (nope), then what’s her long-term job? 

Dany is a leader in need of a position. Dorne is a province in need of a ruler. The Martells & Sand Snakes are burning themselves out trying to get their dragon. The attempt to arrange a Targ restoration and bring down the Lannisters gets them neither. In their determination to punish the family that wronged them, they end up destroying the rest of their own family, and they do not put a Targ in charge of the realm. Also, Dany is named after an earlier Targ princess who married into the Martells. The bittersweet part for Dany is that she ends up cleaning up the Martells’ mess.

Aaaaaand...that leaves Jorah Mormont. It’s like SanSan; I don’t “like” it, but I’m confident this is the story GRRM is telling. 

The reason why I think Jorah is the most viable endgame partner for Dany is basically this question: What exactly is Jorah doing in the story? We love to joke about him being perpetually stuck in the Friend Zone, but what is the narrative purpose of him spending such a long time in that place? 

Plenty of ink has already been spilled on Jorah being such a shithead. He had to get the heck outta Dodge because he sold men into slavery, and he doesn’t seem to think he did anything wrong aside from being caught, and he’s inappropriately interested in 14-year-old Dany because she resembles his ex-wife, and he’s such an entitled piece of shit with no redeeming qualities. 

Except...he’s been banished by Dany, and later captured by slavers. He sold men into slavery? Now he’s had the experience of being enslaved. He treated Dany inappropriately? Now she has all the power and he knows it. He’s building his life around getting another chance to serve her. 

Then maybe the answer is that Jorah’s role in the story is to show us the journey from entitled POS to repentant, humble servant. Maybe? He’s not a POV character, though. The journey from the guy who sold men into slavery to the guy who had to escape from slavery would be more effective if Jorah got to tell his story in his own words. Instead, we only see Jorah from Dany’s and Tyrion’s POVs. Through all his misadventures, he’s STILL dedicated to serving his dragon queen. 

The reason why he’s spending so much time in the Friend Zone (urgh) is that he will eventually get the girl he wants. His narrative purpose is to be there at the end when all of Dany’s other partners have died or disappointed her. Does that make him her last choice? It’s not like Dany wouldn’t still have plenty of options for marriage. Jorah’s the one who’s there for her for the long haul. He has to put a lot of work into being a good enough man to be in Dany’s life, and he keeps on shedding his sense of entitlement until he’s the one she wants after all. 

There’s a reason why, in Season 7, Jon gets that uneasy look when Dany embraces Jorah. There’s a reason why the camera made sure to focus on Jon’s uneasy look when Dany embraces Jorah. Jon can tell Dany feels some kind of way about Jorah, and that matters. For the same reason, it also matters when Jon bonds with Jorah during the wight hunt. They’re choosing to be allies rather than rivals. When Jorah advises Jon to pass Longclaw on to his children after him, the irony is that Jorah is the one who’ll have those children. 

[ivanaskye]

8+2 writing questions meme

@vardasvapors tagged me and I used doing this as a reward for dealing with airport security....

1. What are your current writing goals? Ohhh boy, okay, let’s see, I’ve got to get Šehhinah book 3 fully edited by March 9th, when I’m planning on publishing it … finishing drafting Evocation 3&4 … editing Evocation 2 … then editing the other Evocation books, obviously, once they’re drafted … outlining the series that takes place after Evocation … I think that’s as far as I have planned.  That should get me through some of the year!  Although let’s be real I probably haven’t even done cursory outlining of whatever I’ll be writing in November or whatever yet.

2. When did you first discover your love of writing? HAHAHAHAHA when DIDN’T I discover it.

Uhh ok no really … I learned how to read like really early and was always super into books.  “Book!  Book!” I apparently demanded of my mom like, all the time.  My physical ability to hold a pencil took longer to be a thing than my ability to read, and certainly longer than my ability to storytell, but there’s a whole collection of little stories I dictated to my mom as she wrote them down when I was three or four or so.  These include memorable lines such as “Yes, dear, a fire hydrant is very important” and “Buzzing! He couldn’t believe his eyes!” and “And then they drank all day and died.  This was a long time ago, when people used to do that sort of thing.”  There was also the story that ended in Pooh Bear and Piglet dying … and the one where Thomas the Tank Engine “took his medicine” and “didn’t do any bad things anymore” …

Not too long after those, there started being little things I’d write myself with pencil and paper.  For whatever reason the first that comes to mind is this song about winter (meant to be sung by Pooh Bear, obviously) which I think I wrote when I was six, that went “It’s snowing / it’s mowing / but I don’t mind // I’ve got furry furry fur to keep me warm and snuggly / because it’s winter!”  Gods, uh, I even still remember the tune for that actually.  Then again, I think I remember all the tunes of the bad songs I wrote as a kid.

Also by the way I still have basically all of this stuff.  I have like, a barely-even-started attempt at uh, a nonfiction book, bound by staples, about volcanoes … THE FREAKING FAIRY SLAVE STORY, involving a fairy enslaved by an evil witch at the age of six …

This kept ramping up in complexity until I was nine and decided that a good way to spend a three-week road trip would be to write an entire movie script.  Which I did; it was about sixty pages long once later typed up by my mom (these were the waning days before I really learned how to type), which by typical page-to-minute conversions for scripts, means it would have been about an hour long as a movie.  I did try to film it, and got partway through, but oh my Gods, that is a story for another time and this is already an essay and I’m only on the second question.

Keep in mind that on that same road trip I also attempted to start drawing several manga—most not making it past the third page—and did some Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic, and a number of other things besides …

Uhh anyway this brings us to March 9th, 2006, which is the “created on” date of my very first writing document on my computer!  It was four paragraphs long and terrible and I was a bit of a weeb, so the main character’s name was Subeteno Kakusei … there was this whole thing where like, she’d fight for Life in the daylight but switch personalities and fight for Death in the nighttime, but I got stuck and stopped writing when she asked, “and why is life bad?” and I couldn’t come up with the answer.  Uh.  Also this story itself was already a revamp of another story written on paper which had started out as a riff on Pokemon…

3. What motivates you to keep writing? UH WANTING TO REMAIN BREATHING, lmao.

No seriously though, that’s actually something I’ve said to people: “oh, yeah, I have to write every day, OR I WILL DIE.” And I mean??? I probably would?? Wtf is a not writing every day?  I mean, okay, yeah, I only started the daily thing at the beginning of 2016, but still…

Seriously though, writing makes me feel like myself, it’s kind of what I am…

4. How important is worldbuilding for your writing? VERY??? EXTREMELY??? A WHOLE BUNCH???? I absolutely 100% have to get the cosmology of a setting down before I can write in it.  It’s the most essential thing in my entire process and also the hardest.  That essential-ness is why I write secondary world stuff—I want to decide the cosmology Gods heck it!!  I get to display something, a possibility of something, that is good, where the world works in a way that feels right, where the very formation of how the world works including its magic system is supportive of people’s happiness.

The whole cosmology process requires heavy amounts of thinking and analyzing and even heavier amounts of believing in myself though, and I feel utterly exhausted after it every time.

For all the other parts of worldbuilding, I do better if I have it down ahead of time rather than expect myself to come up with stuff while drafting—because, lol, I won’t, I’ll make up a cool landscape if I give myself a minute to do it in outlining or worldbuilding but if I don’t have one when drafting, I will somehow just completely fail to come up with anything interesting at all.  But also, I like drafting way more than any other part of the writing process, so generally speaking I don’t worldbuild quite as much as I could or maybe should!

5. Pen on paper versus typing? Typing typing typing oh my Gods.

6. Favorite Author? OKAY UH … the obvious answer here is N.K Jemisin bc her most recent trilogy is perfect, and she has great subject matter AND a gorgeous writing style that’s just amazing, and, and.  But.  I don’t usually like to say someone’s my favorite unless I’m certain that the stuff they’re doing next is also going to be something I like, so I might defer Official Favorite Status to such a time as her next book is published!

In that case, the backup favorite would be Brandon Sanderson…

7. Something you do to get the creative juices flowing to write? Coffee.

But more seriously … to get the creativity flowing to write, I write.  It’s a habit.  There is no muse.  There’s no use in waiting for inspiration to strike.  You have to make it happen anyway.  You have to just keep going and believe, and believe.

(More generalizing than I would normally say, but I highkey feel this one…)

8. Do you write better at night, or first thing in the morning? Morning! This past month is the first period of time for two years where I’ve not felt like I’m dying if writing isn’t the first thing I do in the morning … if only because I trust I’ll end up doing it for three hours in the afternoon anyway.  I can pretty much write any time of day now but I’m most attuned to doing it in the morning.  With coffee…

9. How do you take your coffee/tea? Cappuccinos are very important to my lifestyle.  BY CAPPUCCINO, I specifically mean equal parts espresso, steamed milk, and foam—but the foam is mixed into the milk, it isn’t just spooned on top, so basically it’s foamy milk.  The drink should be approximately 8oz.  It includes two shots of espresso.  The most preferred types of espresso tend to be Ethiopian, but anything with a bright flavor is great (which still is very most often African beans, with Ethiopian almost always as the best!).

…So, ok, maybe I’m a little particular…

10. If you could only live with one season for the rest of your life, what would it be? I’d say summer except that in many ways nighttime is more important to me than the day and also I lived in Hawaii for the better part of 4 years and the constant heat was too much for me.  So uh.  Uhhh.

I do need a lot of sunlight though, and even more than that clear skies!  I need starlight!  And moonlight!  So any season where I can get those things, and where the temperature’s not too hot but not like horribly cold either.  (Of late, my cold tolerance has outpaced my heat tolerance, but it too has limits.)

Tagging @lcmawson, predictably.

[pastordorry-blog]

Deliverance

Deliverance

Exodus 14:8-18

Exodus Week 7

October 22, 2017

 A young boy returned home from Sunday school and right away his father asked him, "What did you learn today?"  

The boy answered, "The minister told us how Moses led the Hebrew people out of Egypt."

"Oh, yes, that is a very important story in the Bible.  Tell me what you remember from it," the father prodded.

"Well, Moses was a big strong man, and he beat Pharaoh up.  Then while Pharaoh was knocked out, Moses got all the people together and ran toward the sea. When he got there, he had Army Corps of Engineers build a huge pontoon bridge.  Once the Hebrew slaves got to the other side, they blew up the bridge while the Egyptians were trying to cross."

The father was shocked.  "Is that what the minister taught you?"

"No dad, but you'd never believe the story he DID tell us!"

 The Exodus is a pretty unbelievable story, isn't it?  Against all odds, Pharaoh finally agreed to emancipate his free labor supply. Equally unlikely, the Hebrew slaves asked the Egyptians for their gold and silver, and it was given to them!  And the real humdinger?  Moses simply lifted up his staff, and the water parted, and the Hebrew people were able to cross out of Egypt on a special path made just for them.  That's a pretty amazing story of deliverance.

But it makes sense that the Hebrews' freedom story would be so dramatic and hard to believe.  It matches their story of enslavement in the first place!  Just fifteen chapters ago, back at the end of Genesis, it is a Hebrew man, Joseph, who was regarded as Egypt's savior!  The Pharaoh back then owed his life to an Israelite. The whole country of Egypt would have faced starvation had it not been for Joseph's spiritual and administrative prowess.  It's almost unbelievable how the Hebrew people could go from being so popular and well-regarded, to being forced to make bricks in the hot Egyptian sun, being told to kill their baby boys as a form of population control, and being oppressed by ruthless tactics.  I am not sure which is harder to believe:  the amazing way God finally intervened and delivered his people out of Egypt, or the awful suffering they were enduring for so long in the first place.

Which, I suppose, is exactly what makes this story so relevant for us today.  We are gathered for worship this morning to praise God for the amazing way God intervened and sent his Son Jesus to deliver us from slavery to sin and death.  We came to worship to give thanks for, and receive more of, that new and abundant life we have experienced glimpses of from time to time.  But we also came this morning attuned to the fact that our world needs deliverance. Heck, I came because I need deliverance! Like the apostle Paul, I find myself doing the very things I detest and have vowed not to do.  I am a new creation in Christ.  But God is not finished with me yet. I am still a person in need of saving.  And I think it's pretty safe to say I share life with a congregation, community, and world all populated by other people who also are in need of some kind of salvation or deliverance.

The good news of the gospel is, God will stop at nothing to deliver God's people from evil. Evil is anything that blocks or hinders the life God intends for us. Anything that keeps us from living in harmony with God, creation, or our fellow human beings, that is evil.  In a few minutes we will read responsively the Song of Moses and Miriam from Exodus 15. It ends by saying, yippee, "the horse and the rider he threw into the sea." I hate the thought of so many living beings drowning that day, and I believe God calls us to value all human life as sacred.  This is a part of the story I struggle with.  But what I can celebrate is the exodus a group of people made from slavery and oppression.  It is our hope that God will deliver us and all people from every kind of evil.

It is not just our hope, it is our prayer.  A few minutes ago, we said the Lord's Prayer. Every week we gather as a family of faith, the new Israel, and ask God as we pray the Lord's prayer to lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.  Deliver us from evil.  When I think about the deliverance God accomplished for the Hebrew slaves, I have to tell you, I have not been properly understanding the power of this petition.  Only four little words, but what a prayer!  The Hebrews had no weapons to defeat Pharaoh.  On their own, they could not get free.  Only God could save them.  Similarly, we have no weapons with which we can defeat evil.  We can barely stand up to it, let alone overcome it.  But God can.  And God will. Praying that prayer aligns us and connects us to God's greatest desire--that we would be delivered from slavery to sin and death and set free to live the life God intended for us all along.

For the last several weeks, the choir has been practicing the anthem we sang for you this morning, and anthem about deliverance. "God's Gonna Build Up Zion's Wall" is an important negro spiritual with several other verses which were not in the arrangement we sang today.  But what was in the arrangement was the word Jubilee. Did you catch that? Each week when we rehearsed this anthem, I wanted to raise my hand and say, "Do you all know the story of jubilee?"  It is such an exciting concept.  But I contained my enthusiasm, because the choir has sung this anthem many times and I'm sure they had the jubilee idea explained to them in the past and didn't want to hear me go on and on about what an amazing idea this is.  But maybe it's new to you!  

The Hebrew people, once they came out of slavery, were going to need some guidelines how to live as free people, how to live in relationship with each other and God.  In a couple weeks we are going to read about God giving the Ten Commandments to his people.  But if you read further into the Old Testament, you will find all kinds of additional laws, governing everything from what to eat to what to wear to how to treat strangers.  God gave the people laws to structure their life together, and help them flourish. One of the laws we are familiar with is the Sabbath, resting on the seventh day.  But you might not know that God also proclaimed a Sabbath year every seven years.  The ground was to lie fallow, and have a rest, too.  That meant that, in an agrarian society, people got something of a rest, too, not just for a day, but for a year!  Can you imagine that?

But wait, it gets better. Every seventh Sabbath year was to be followed by a year of Jubilee.  Every fifty years, there was special year of release and restoration. Slaves were emancipated.  Land was returned to its original owners.  And people learned to live differently.  Two years in a row of no planting or harvesting gave people a significant stretch of time in which to cultivate dependence on God, and make do with less stuff, and experience more fullness from the simple things in life.  Talk about an unbelievable story!  As if the parting of the sea wasn't unlikely enough, now we are to believe that God commanded all of creation to take a two year sabbatical every 50 years?

That is why, in the choir anthem, the composer chose such bright and accented notes for "Jubalee, jubalee, this is the year of jubalee!"  Jubilee is a huge deal!  It is a chance for God's grace to touch every corner of creation.  Everything is to go back to the way God intended it at the beginning.  No haves and have-nots.  All of us, equal under God.  All of us set free from the bondage of greed, of being workaholics, of not having time for what really matters, of not having our first love be God.  All of those life obstacles that get in the way of us living in harmony with God, creation, and our neighbor, erased.  Jubalee.  Can you see why I was so excited about it every week during choir?

Every week I meet with Lexi, our seminary intern, and every week I learn from her, and hopefully she learns from me.  This week in our time together, we discovered that I am old.  I mentioned a well-known American preacher, Fred Craddock, who has written at least a dozen books on preaching and who I am sure you heard former pastors quote and admire. He is famous in my generation and among the older pastors I know.  But Lexi had never even heard of him.  So we looked on Youtube and found a video of him preaching.  We happened to select a video of a sermon where, to my surprise, he talked about jubilee.  He explained the concept of jubilee and noted that people disregard it as so far-fetched, so unbelievable, it must not be true.  But Dr. Craddock said, "There is no evidence that the concept of Jubilee was ever practiced in the Old Testament.  But so what!  It is a hope. It is a vision."  The very idea of it is a gift.    

Jubilee is another expression of God's desire that we be free.  It is an idea spawned from the same God who delivered the Hebrews from slavery in Egypt, and who delivers us from slavery to sin and death.  This idea of deliverance is not a one-time thing in the Bible.  It is who God is!  Deliverer! We have no record that the year of Jubilee was ever observed.  But we know what happened at Pentecost:  people came together, sold their possessions, and held everything in common.  There were no haves and have-nots.  Everyone was equal under God.  For a time, all the obstacles that keep people from living in harmony with each other and with God were erased.  True, it did not last long.  But so what!  It gives us a hope.  It gives us a vision.  And that Pentecost vision is simply an echo of the Kingdom of God Jesus spoke of so often.

On Friday night, Phil and I went to see a play at the Suzanne Roberts Theater in Philadelphia.  I had never been there before, and I was interested to read about them while we waited for the show to start.  In the playbill, their director wrote how, the previous year, they took a sabbatical.  They did not run any plays for a year, so they could discern their vision and being to live into it.  They decided their guiding words are, "Relevant.  Evolving.  Bracing. Inclusive."  The show we saw was about the hope for peace in the Middle East.  It fit right in with the theater's guiding words.

Relevant, evolving, bracing, inclusive:  those might be good guiding words for the church, too.  Words are so important to the church, though, it would be hard for us to narrow it down to four.  But we wouldn't be wrong to say our guiding words are Exodus, Jubilee, Kingdom, Pentecost. Four expressions of God's saving nature. The church was formed by Christ to be the continuation of this saving work. What would it look like if we decided to be a church dedicated to these four words?  

This week one of my friends posted on facebook how she met someone in line at Wal-Mart whose son has the same birthday as hers.  My friend was buying a card and gift for her 22 old son.  But the woman she met was buying snacks for the support group she was hosting for parents who lost a child to a drug overdose.  Her son did not make it to his 22nd birthday. My friend's individual response was one of compassion for the woman she met, and gratitude for her own blessings.  I could see in the comments, her story had many of us wondering, what should the church be doing to help prevent and liberate people from the bondage of drug addiction?

That is just one example.  Where have you seen the need for deliverance?  Is there a particular issue our church is especially passionate about?  To many people in the world, the story of God's love shown in Jesus is so far-fetched, it is almost unbelievable.  The amount of suffering in the world is so great, it makes it hard for many people to believe God even cares, let alone is willing to intervene.  But God does care.  God does intervene!  We are living proof!  Or at least, we should be.  It is our job to embody exodus, jubilee, kingdom and Pentecost in such a way that the world will come to see that God's love for all people is true.  

Moses told his people, " Stand firm and see the deliverance God has for us today."  How might the exodus story inspire and guide our work, all these years later?  The delivering nature of God has not changed.  We are already doing our best.  What new thing might happen by letting God do God's best through us?    Amen.