#their parents and regulus are tight

[laserswordtraining]

12 pages of chapter summaries and not an actual word written means that this is gonna be the longest ass fic ever if I manage to stick with it my god

[musicoftheheart]

new chapter just dropped!

go check it out!! keep an eye on my blog for a date for the next update <33

[ellecdc]

Hey elle!! ABSOLUTELY LOVED the grumpy x sunshine with Reggie

But what if McLaggen fucks up so bad that not only do people realise that our sunshine has a whole new side of her just to protect her bf

I mean, the happiest people ARE one of the most terrifying when angry🤷���♀️

Hope you have a great day/night!! Drink lots of water and stay healthy!!

there's nothing like the moment when the sunshine character snaps, you're so right. thanks for your request!

Regulus Black x Lupin!reader who defends his honour [1.2k words]

p1 // p2

CW: fighting/violence, reader breaks McLaggen's nose, Reg thinks it's kind of hot, Sirius is a proud brother(in-law) and Remus is an exhausted (and secretly proud) big brother

Regulus Black wore a tight fitted mask from the moment he woke up most mornings to the second he went to bed, and generally, that mask fell for no one.

There were some instances that the mask would slip for Sirius, and it fell far more frequently for you, but generally, the mask was air tight.

And to the untrained eye, most people weren’t even aware that there was a mask being worn, but Sirius knew better - Sirius could see the signs.

Which is why when Regulus’ steps faltered ever so slightly as McLaggen leaned over to sneer something into his ear before his jaw clenched and he continued marching forward, Sirius was quick to blurt “what did he say?” once Regulus had made it to where he, Remus, and you were standing in the Central Hall. 

You stopped in your excited ramblings to cut a look to Regulus immediately - expression falling in a way that would be comical if it didn’t look so foreign on your face - asking “who” before he’d even had a chance to answer his brother.

“Nothing.” Regulus grumbled, standing tall and looking just past Sirius’ shoulder; though he couldn’t help but notice Regulus positioning his body directly between Sirius and McLaggen, whilst keeping his arm protectively behind you.

“What did who say?” You asked again looking between the Black brothers when your own didn’t seem to have the answer either.

“McLaggen.” Sirius said, never looking away from his brother who refused to make eye contact with him as he gestured to the sod with his chin . “He just said something to you as you were walking over here and now you’ve got that look on your face.”

“There’s no look on my face.” Regulus spat quickly. “This is just my face.”

“Did he say something to upset you?” You asked softly, and Sirius watched as Regulus’ shoulders fell slightly and he seemed to look at you apologetically.

“No, amour, it’s fine.”

“No it’s not fine, he’s lying.” Sirius accused, causing Remus to groan as he pulled on Sirius’ shirt sleeve, translating roughly to  ‘knock it off’. 

“What did he say about you?” You demanded then, and any signs of the bright, bubbly, effervescent girl you’d been mere moments ago as you excitedly explained the progress you and Pandora had made with the bowtruckles to your brother and his boyfriend were completely gone and overshadowed with worry.

Regulus seemed just as desperate to relieve you of that worry as Sirius was to never see it again. 

“He didn’t say anything about me.”

“About me?” You asked quietly.

“No, amour.”

“No one could possibly find anything bad to say about you, bubs.” Remus complained with a fond eye roll. 

“What’d he say about me, then?” Sirius questioned, causing three sets of eyes to point at Regulus in anticipation.

Regulus sighed and rolled his eyes - very un-Black and aristocratic of him, if you asked Sirius - and spared a look at McLaggen over his shoulder.

“Do you promise not to overreact if I tell you?”

“Absolutely.” Sirius agreed readily - though he knew damn well that what constituted a reasonable reaction was very different to Regulus than it was to himself. 

“He said our parents ought to throw me out like trash as they had with you.” He muttered quietly, and Sirius saw red.

But unfortunately, both Remus and Regulus had been so (correctly) prepared to grab Sirius by the back of the shirt and the arm respectively that he had no chance at enacting his very reasonable reaction to that news. 

Rather fortunately, however, is that both Remus and Regulus had been so prepared in stopping Sirius from storming over to McLaggen to correctly-react to that news, that neither of them even realised you’d gone storming over instead until your fist connected with McLaggen’s nose. 

“What the fuck!?” McLaggen hissed as he cradled his nose protectively with one hand and grabbed you by the arm with the other, though all that managed to do was limit your assault on him to one hand rather than two. 

“You’re a pathetic pile of shite McLaggen!” You screeched as your brother hauled you off of McLaggen (though Sirius was happy to note you got a few more good swings at him before), neither Black brother having realised Remus had left their sides as they both stood there staring at the spectacle dumbly. “Mummy and daddy told you it wasn’t your fault that they split but it is because she should have fucking swallowed you when she had the chance!” 

“Christ, bubs, stop it.” Remus hissed as he wrestled you over to Sirius and Regulus; the latter seeming to be brought back to reality now that you were standing in front of him.

Though, standing was a generous term, seeing as you were still being held captive by your brother as you tried to find a way out of his hold.

“Merlin’s tits, Y/N.” Regulus breathed out in disbelief, and only then did you stop fighting Remus and turned to look at your boyfriend. “What did you do?”

You seemed startled for a moment; eyes darting frantically over Regulus��� face as if looking for any signs of anger or disapproval. 

“You hit him.”

Your face broke out into a beaming smile as your usual bubbling energy vibrated through you and you stood on your toes in front of him. “Did you see that, Reg?” You asked, almost like you couldn’t believe it yourself. “I beat him up!”

A surprised laugh bubbled out of Regulus that surprised both Sirius and Remus just as much as your violent outburst had as he pulled you closer to him by your chin. 

“Did you just defend my honour, amour?”

“I’d rather say she was defending my honour, Reg.” Sirius argued. “You’ve got a wicked right hook, Trouble! Who knew!?”

“I did!” Remus nearly shrilled then. “I’ve been telling you all this; she’s been practising on me for years!”

“It’s not practising on you when you’re the one who taught me, Rem.” You countered as sternly as you could muster, but Sirius could still see that dimple near the corner of your mouth giving away the fact that you were trying really hard not to smile.

And by the way Regulus drew a gentle finger along the side of your face, he knew Regulus could see it too.

“What’s the damage on your hands, hm?” Regulus asked then.

“We’ve got a stash of wraps in our dorm for Moons that you can use.” Sirius added, pausing when Remus made a tentative sound.

“Perhaps we should get out of here before McGonagall starts asking what happened to McLaggen’s face though, yeah?” He muttered as the deputy headmistress came sweeping into the central hall. 

“They’ll never believe it was Y/N.” Sirius scoffed, causing Remus and Regulus to shoot him unimpressed glares.

“Exactly.” They said in unison before Regulus continued. “You’ll end up taking the blame for it.”

Sirius blanched at that. 

“Hey, didn’t she say that you’d be scrubbing toilets with a toothbrush until you’re fifty if you got one more infraction?”

Your question was met with silence, though, as Sirius was nearly half way up to Gryffindor tower before you turned back to look at him.

“Seeing as I’m the next most likely suspect, we should probably go too.” Remus announced, and the rest of you made like Sirius and quickly left the scene of the crime.

[lexithwrites]

I’m gonna fucking tear my hair out I just thought of James taking Regulus to build a bear because his parents used to take him as a kid and he wants regulus to experience it for the first time and feel the magic and at first regulus thinks it’s so fucking childish but then he gets to hug the bear and he hugs it so tight and he does the little heart thing and he lets James put a heart in too and he makes it smell like strawberries then he goes around the store picking out adorable outfits and James is just softly smiling at him as regulus silently goes around the store healing his inner child

[raphael-angele]

The Gift

POV: It's Regulus' birthday and he's opening presents at the breakfast table.

Regulus: Okay, so far I got a journal that cannot be opened unless I'm the one holding it; thank you, Evan. The Cain's Jawbone book; thank you, Barty. A brand new stationary set; thank you, Pandora. And a silver snake ring that has a needle that injects poison to whoever it punctures; thank you, Dorcas.

Pandora: Happy birthday, Reg.

Evan: Happy birthday, buddy.

Barty: Yeah, yeah, yeah, happy birthday and all that. So which one is your favorite?

Dorcas: You kidding? I win by a mile.

Evan: Oh, I almost forgot *pulls out a small box* This is from Potter.

Dorcas: Why was James Potter giving you a gift for Regulus?

Barty: And why was he with you in the first place?

Evan: Calm down. We bumped into each other in the halls and he asked me to give it to Reg.

Regulus: *opens the box* oh wow.

Pandora: What is it?

Regulus: *shows it to Pandora*

Pandora: Aww, that's so cute.

Barty: What is it?

Pandora: It's like an small pin of the golden snitch but instead of a ball, it's shaped like a star.

Regulus: *reads the note* "Still can't believe I caught you. JP"

Dorcas: Aw, Now that's just romantic

Barty: If Potter wanted to be romantic, he'd realign the stars to say, "I am untterly, undoubtedly, and deeply in love with Regulus Arcturus Black. I say with with sound mind and body. Love, James Potter"

Regulus, putting the pin on his robe: So whose gift is that one? *points to a box*

Everyone:

Regulus: ...no one?

Evan: *inspects* Well, it's addressed to you. And it says Happy Birthday. Maybe it's from your parents?

Regulus: Unlikely. Give it? *takes the box* Really nothing written on here.

Barty: Open it.

Regulus: *opens it and gasps*

Dorcas: What is it?

Regulus: *looks over at the Gryffindor table* Nothing *packs up the gifts, stands and leaves* Thanks for the gifts.

At the Gryffindor table:

Sirius: Hey, the birthday boy himself.

James: Oh, hi, babe.

Regulus: Hey. Sirius, a word? *they move a bit farther away*

Sirius: So what's up? Did you need something?

Regulus: The gift.

Sirius: Yeah? What about it?

Regulus: ...help me put it on?

Sirius: ...*smiles softly* Yeah, okay.

In the bathroom:

Sirius: You okay in there?

Regulus: *comes out of the stall with a roll of bandage*

Sirius: What do you think?

Regulus: *runs his hands through his torso, looks at the mirror and turns to the side*

Sirius: It's not too tight right? I think I hooked it on the right row.

Regulus: *cries*

Sirius: *goes up to him* Hey, hey, c'mon, don't cry. It's okay. What's wrong? Is it too small? Does it hurt?

Regulus: *shakes his head* No. It's perfect.

Sirius: Aww, I'm glad. Feels better right?

Regulus: Mhm.

Sirius: *sighs* I told you to stop using bandages to bind. You're gonna hurt yourself.

Regulus: I didn't have a binder to use.

Sirius: Well now you do. And this is a lot safer and comfier. Right?

Regulus: *nods*

Sirius: Yeah. Now, you have to promise me that you won't wear it for too long. If I find out that you've been binding longer than what's safe, I'm confiscating them. Understand?

Regulus: Mhm. I promise

Sirius: Okay.

Regulus: *hugs Sirius tightly* Love you

Sirius: *kisses the top of his head* Love you, too. Now, let's get you to class.

[sommerregenjuniluft]

@jegulus-microfic april 1 - spring - 1340 words (of domestic bliss with little harry)

Sundays are slow in the Potter household.

One would think James doesn’t like the pace of it, always having to do something usually, always active, moving around or talking, tugging at his loved ones or caressing their skin, but he does. It hasn’t always been this way but with getting older and especially since they’ve become parents James had noticed how his body and mind welcomed the one break in the week to just shut off and recharge.

They’ve fought their way through a cloudy March and with the arrival of April, spring is finally here. 

James loves spring. People always assume it’s summer—and credit to them, because he does—but there’s just something about the rebirth of everything that comes after the long gloomy fall and icey winter period. The birds chirp with their return and in search for a mate, insects buzz lively and everything brightens with colour. 

Like clockwork, Harry appears in the threshold of the master bedroom at around 7 am, deer plushie in a tight grip by the antlers, his dark mob of hair messy as anything. He drowsily rubs the sleep from his eyes, face squished and James sometimes thinks he might die from how adorable their four year old is.

He grabs his glasses, pushes back the sheets and plants a gentle kiss on Regulus’ cheek where he’s still knocked out like the dead and smushed into his pillow.

Harry pads wordlessly into the living room, James hot on his trail. Though while Harry goes in search of a children’s book for James to read to him, James makes a detour to the kitchen. He fills them two bottles with the tea they let out on the counter overnight, preparing one for Regulus as well for when he wakes up. He cuts up some fruit and vegetables and grabs the packets of rice cakes and crackers from the pantry, loading it all on a tray before he sets on to the living room.

Harry is already curled under the big fleece blanket they keep there, grinning when James rounds the corner with their pre-breakfast.

“Morning, dada,” he greets, sweetly.

James’ chest swells. “Morning, pumpkin,” he returns, pressing a kiss into Harry’s hair, setting down the tray. Before he takes his place next to his son he walks over to open the big terrasse glass doors. 

“How’d you sleep?” James asks, plopping down next to Harry who immediately snuggles closer, plushie still in hand.

“Good,” Harry sighs contently and James can’t help himself when he brushes some of his hair back from his forehead and kisses him again. “Can you read to me?”

It’s a hidden object book but James knows what he means. He grins, “’Course, Hazza.”

They do just that for a bit, James describing what’s going on on the pages, creating a story for recurring characters. Skipping back and forth with Harry randomly pointing out another happening of the drawing while he’s munching away on his rice cakes and cucumbers and the occasional grape. 

It’s still mildly cool, especially when a faint breeze picks up, moving the grass outside and swishing inside but Harry’s still wearing long pyjamas and James knows he’ll tell him if he’s too cold. He simply burrows further under the blanket and into his father’s side. James runs hot anyways.

When Harry decides they’re done with books James puts on a nature documentary for them.

They’re teaching about the strength of some rainforest ant species when Regulus shuffles into the room, arms wrapped around himself and eyes nearly closed.

“Morning, Papa,” Harry whispers excitedly, already wiggling out of James’ embrace even though he knows Regulus will join them there in just a moment.

A smile tugs at Regulus’ lips as he blinks his eyes open, dark lashes fluttering agonisingly beautifully and giving way to soft grey. James swears they get a little more blue every time right around his birthday, like Regulus is just another subject to the changes of spring.

“Mornin’,” Regulus sighs happily when he squeezes Harry against his chest, peppering the side of his head with kisses until he pulls away, tugging Regulus along to James.

His eyes are already closed again when Regulus nuzzles into the crook of James’ neck, pressing a kiss there before he gets comfortable.

“Morning, love,” James murmurs, voice thick with adoration, audible even to himself, and he strokes Regulus’ exposed arm softly.

The spell of Sunday is thick in the air, heavy in their bones. 

Harry, usually the most lively child, always animatedly talking about something or the other, giggling, making jokes or doing mischief, is quiet now too. It’s routine, the way he grabs for Regulus’ arm and squeezes between his two dads, waiting for James to absently card his fingers through their hair and send them back to their slumbers.

It doesn’t take longer than five minutes before Harry’s breaths are deepening and it’s marvellous. Magical in the way that Regulus’ presence seems to calm him so much it pulls him back into another nap.

James smiles so wide, looking down at them like that for so long that his cheeks start straining.

He watches a bit more of the documentary, snaps a few obligatory pictures of them on his phone and sends them into their family group chat. Monty sends back a pixelated picture of a zoomed in shot of Effie in the garden, Sirius replies with a shaky snapshot of him running with the dogs and Remus answers with an aesthetically pleasing picture of what seems to be the breakfast he’s preparing for the two of them.

James’ belly growls hungrily at the reminder and when his gaze falls on the lone grape sitting in the bowl on the tray he decides it’s time for breakfast. 

It’s nothing short of artful the way he extracts himself from besides Harry and Regulus without rousing them before he heads for the kitchen.

He grabs flour and sugar, eggs and milk for pancakes, as well as the bacon, bagles and cream cheese. It��s meditative to put together all the ingredients, set the table and assemble syrup and blueberries and chocolate chips. Halfway through James remembers the leftover quinoa in the fridge and between placing patches of batter in a sizzling pan he whips them up a quick salad as well. 

The smell in the kitchen is divine and James has already made acquaintances with the joyful bluetit in the tree by the window by the time Regulus comes into the kitchen with Harry on his hip. He’s babbling now, talking Regulus’ ear off by the looks of it and Regulus hums and nods and gasps at all the right places, looking ridiculously endearing with his curls mussed and an imprint of the couch cushion lining his cheek.

“Morning, champ,” James teases, smacking a loud kiss over the line in Regulus’ cheek.

Regulus growls quietly, grinning despite himself, “You’re lucky I love your cooking so much.”

“Yeah, you’re lucky,” Harry parrots, grinning widely.

James tuts with faux affront, “What kind of sentiments are you teaching our poor child, Regulus. I’ve been standing in this kitchen for hours now. How about a ‘Thank you, daddy’?”

“Thank you, daddy,” they both reply in unison though Regulus’ has a decidedly different tone to it that makes James point the spatula at him in warning.

Regulus just smirks before he leans heavily into James’ side and rips a piece of pancake off of the ones already on a plate, blowing on it before dividing it in half and feeding it to Harry and himself.

James tasks them with setting out glasses of water and orange juice, mugs for tea. On Sundays coffee is banned in the Potter house. Regulus thinks he can wind himself out of his caffeine addiction that way.

When everyone is done and everything is in place they all sit down together, legs tangled under the table, smiling warmly at each other over their plates of delicious food, the spring breeze ruffling their hair and clothes pleasantly as it drifts through the open window.

[inureiris]

when james get jealous, he shows it. he’ll put a possessive hand on regulus’s waist and leave bite marks just above his collar. he’ll wrap an arm around sirius’s shoulder and proclaim him his best friend. he is unapologetic in his claims, as his parents were for him. he grew up bolstered by a warm hand on his shoulder, introducing him proudly as ‘james, our son’. it never once crosses his mind to be ashamed of his relationships.

when regulus gets jealous, he simmers. he stands in a corner at the party, watching james laugh from afar- later, pressing himself tight to a sleeping james’s beating heart as if that could keep him in there forever. he laughs along as barty and evan joke together, quietly planning out how to get one-on-one time with each of them- just so they don’t forget about him. he is desperately embarrassed of his love. he grew up in the other room with a cold voice mentioning him as an aside, ‘the youngest of the children, regulus’. it never once crosses his mind to assert any relationship.

[moonstruckme]

Hey! I have a potentially odd request and I’m not sure if you write stuff like this anyway so if not please just disregard. I am in a strikingly similar situation Sirius with Regulus and for some reason this past week I’ve been feeling guilty as hell. Could you maybe do something where Remus and James are comforting Sirius like it’s okay, it’s not your fault, you had to leave, etc? Or maybe something with Remus James and Sirius comforting reader with the same idea but Sirius being especially emotional and like it’s okay, I get it, you can’t blame yourself etc? Thank you lovely <3 <3

Hi sweetheart! I wasn’t sure exactly which Siri+Reg situation you meant but my first thought was the one where Sirius left Reg alone in their parents’ home, so I hope that’s what you were intending. Thanks sm for requesting! It was a great excuse to listen to regina spektor’s two birds on repeat :’) 

cw: implied past abuse, older sibling guilt (also I am a wee bit drunk editing this so if it’s bad let’s blame it on that)

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

“I know,” you croak, and you’re speaking quietly enough that Remus gathers you aren’t eager to be overheard, but you’ve made no move to go upstairs and have a truly private conversation. You lie on your back on the couch, one hand covering your eyes and the other holding your phone to your ear. “Yeah, I know how they are. No, it sucks, I just—” 

You press your lips together as the voice on the other end of the phone increases in volume. When it pauses, you hum. “Yeah, I get that. I think it’s a good idea. Just keep to yourself, if you can. It’ll be okay. I’ll try and—no, I know.” You swallow thickly. Remus’ heart heavies. 

He sneaks a look at your boyfriends, both pretending to be busy whilst they eavesdrop. Sirius, just on the other end of the couch, has ceased typing on his laptop and is scrolling aimlessly back and forth on the same page. Meanwhile, James is stirring a pot of water on the stove that’s barely simmering. They look about as tense as Remus feels, Sirius most of all. They all know who you’re talking to. They can gauge the subject. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice dips, quiet and abashed. “I want to, I just—wait, don’t—” 

You let the phone drop onto the couch, releasing a sigh as you bring your other hand to your face. They hung up. 

There are a few seconds of fraught silence before James pipes up from the kitchen, “Everything alright, angel?” 

You hum in affirmation, but the sound is pitchy and broken. 

Sirius forgoes pretense. He closes his laptop, setting it aside. “What did they want?” 

You take in a deep, shuddering breath. It’s not enough; your voice cracks anyway. “For me to come home,” you say, the last word a sob. 

James switches the stove off, nearly jogging into the living room to be at your side. 

“I’m sorry, dove,” Remus says quietly. “I know it must be hard, but you did the right thing by leaving.” 

“I don’t think so,” you choke out. James makes a pained sound as he sits by your feet, between you and Sirius, and rubs his big hands up and down your calves consolingly. Remus sneaks a glance at Sirius, and his boyfriend has his jaw clamped tight, watching you with heartache in his pale eyes. 

“You did,” James says. “Sweetheart, it’s not your fault.” 

You shake your head, still hiding behind your hands. “I—I can’t—” You nearly lunge for James, who looks all too relieved to take you into his arms. He maneuvers you so you’re in his lap, sitting sideways with your face pressed against his collar. His palm covers the back of your head. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” he hushes you, tone fraught with a compassion so intense it sounds like it hurts. “It’s okay. Just cry it out if you need to.” 

You do. You cry until Remus is sure your head has to be pounding. You don’t try to breathe through it, don’t wipe your nose as it runs. Your tears come hot and fast and painfully quiet, like you learned how to hide them as soon as you learned how to cry. Sirius doesn’t tear his gaze from you as your shoulder’s shake and James’ shirt grows wet. When he swallows thickly, Remus reaches over from the armchair to take his hand. 

Once your tears start to slow, Sirius says, voice uncharacteristically quiet, “The best thing you can do is give them the advice you wish someone had given you.” His free hand twitches in his lap, and Remus realizes he’s keeping still on purpose, not messing with his hair or crossing his arms or doing any of the things that would give away how upset he is. “You can’t go back.” 

“I know,” you mumble into James’ shirt. 

“Do you?” Remus asks gently. “I understand if you want to, right now, but you just…you have to do what’s best for yourself.” 

A powerful sob shakes you, and James’ palm presses into your back with something akin to desperation. “I’m the big sister,” you say. “I’m supposed to be there for them.” 

“You didn’t ask for that.” Sirius’ words are inlaid with a quiet ardency. “It’s not—you can’t blame yourself.” 

You sniffle, pulling your face from James’ front to look at Sirius. There’s a rawness between you that hurts Remus to look at. “I know you know what it’s like,” you tell him, voice wavering on the edge of a whimper, “and I’m sorry. I just—” you take a ragged inhale “—didn’t think it would feel like this.” 

James looks like he is just barely restraining himself from tucking your head back into his shoulder, but he holds still as Sirius pulls his hand from Remus’ to reach for you, pushing a damp piece of hair away from your eye. 

“Baby, you don’t need to be sorry,” he promises. “I get it. It’s hard to feel okay about it at first, but you’ll…it gets easier.” 

You nod, and even though it’s obvious to all of them that you’re only being a good sport, Sirius offers you a small smile. 

“What made it easier?” you ask softly, swiping under your eyes. James coos and bushes your hands away gently, kissing your tears off for you. 

Sirius looks between Remus and James, then shrugs. “I don’t know. Drinking, maybe.” 

“Fuck off.” Remus sticks out a foot, pushing at Sirus’ thigh harshly. “Does she seem like she’s in the mood for jokes?”

But you laugh wetly, and they all grin for hearing it, James mushing a few quick kisses into the side of your head. 

“Gonna turn our sweet girl into an alcoholic,” he says against your skin. 

“Fine.” Sirius rolls his eyes extravagantly. “I don’t know, I guess you guys helped a bit too.” 

Before Sirius can react, James has an arm around his neck, tugging him close. “Oh, you,” James says, and Sirius makes a horrified squawking sound as his boyfriend presses a firm kiss to his temple, then yours. “Such a romantic. We helped a bit, huh?” 

Remus hums. “Ingrate.” 

“The point,” Sirius says, wrestling free of James’ grip, “is that it does get better.” He looks at you, features softening. “It’s not that it’s ever easy. But give it time.” 

“Got it.” You give him a small smile. Still wan, but more genuine than the last. “Thanks.” 

“Do whatever you need to to feel better, sweetheart,” Remus tells you, leaning forward until you meet his eye. “Just stay with us, yeah? Don’t go anywhere.” 

You lean into James’ side, the affection in your gaze all too heavy. “I could never.”

[lustsickforyou]

what side are you on?

sirius black x reader (romantic, to platonic) regulus black x reader (romantic, eventually) james potter x reader (if you squint)

summary: you were born into a pureblood family and taught a special ability since birth, you’ve been used your whole life and you start to want a change.

warnings: arranged marriage, abusive parents, talks of miscarriage, mentions of death, angst

a/n: basing the power off of a heart renderer from shadow and bone, so credits do that. i also added in a scene from call me by your name because i couldn’t resist. will be a multi part series. reader is slytherin.

part one , part two

Life hadn’t always been easy for you, it was something that seemed so normal at this point. You were born into a pureblood family, one of the sacred twenty eight. When your mother married your father they placed the expectation for her to bare his heir just as they did to everyone else. Your mother tried so hard to perform her duty, but pregnancy after pregnancy she had failed to do so, even though it wasn’t her fault. Each child that she had lost picked away at her soul, and she swore the last time she was pregnant that she would be done after that. She never even wanted kids in the first place.

That’s when you came along, a healthy daughter, but hardly what her husband had wished for. This daughter couldn’t carry on the family name. Your mother was so displeased with herself, the secrets the woman would share in whispers across the board got to her. So in attempt to save herself and her husband from their reputation being ruined, she made a deal with the devil. Tom Riddle himself. She swore that she would train her daughter to become a heart render at his own expense if he would marry her off to a respectable family. He, of course— agreed.

Heart renderers were rare, just like a legilimens. It was hard to perfect, but with you at home every day as a child and with lots of consequences if you did not perform to your mother’s liking, you mastered the art. You could do a plethora of things, both good and bad. You could make someone’s blood boil, get them to do whatever you wanted, get them to say things they would never normally say aloud. But you could also soothe a temper, calm someones heart rate, keep them warm. It was a blessing and a curse.

You were presented to Tom Riddle when you were eight, and he held up to his deal. Use you in exchange for a husband who had a well known name, that being Sirius Black. You two were to be married when you turn eighteen. The two of you spent a lot of time together at home, but rarely ever in school. He was a Gryffindor boy who was out of control, you were a Slytherin girl who kept to herself. Tom and his parents hoped this marriage would keep Sirius in line.

Many people at school feared you, in fact Dumbledore gave strict instructions for you to never use you powers in school. You understood this, followed the rules. The students didn’t understand, and would often say nasty things about you and your special abilities. How you were untrustworthy, that they needed to keep a distance from you for their own safety. You had never given them a reason to be scared, and yet here you were. Cursed with a power that only you saw could be good, but many found deceptive.

Now you were in your seventh year, used for your powers by Tom whenever he pleased, and Sirius had gone off the rails, leaving his family behind and the promise he gave to you along with them. Just before he left his home he came to you, he saw the good in you. Tried to convince you to run off with him for a better life, but you knew you couldn’t.

“Come with me, y/n.” he pleaded, looking down at you with hopeful eyes. You shook your head, stepping back from him. You wanted nothing more than to leave, to finally free yourself from not only your mother’s tight grip on you but Tom’s as well. “I can’t.” you whispered with tears in your eyes. Tom would kill you if you left, he had threatened it plenty of times when he noticed you grew weary of the things he made you do, the people he made you hurt. “Why?” Sirius tried to dig deeper, hopefully to make you realize that there was no reason why you shouldn’t go. “I can’t.” you repeated shakily. Everything in you was screaming to run, but you knew what Tom would do. He would hunt anyone you ever cared about, saving you for last before casting the unforgivable curse and take your life. Sirius stepped towards you. “Please.” he begged. You stepped back again, holding your hands up. The two of you turned your head when you heard footsteps coming down the hallway, you mother calling your name. You pushed him forward quickly. “Go.” you whispered with urgency. “Please come with me.” he pleaded. You held his arms in your hands and pushed him again. “Go.” you repeated but this time much more firm. With that he was gone, and you hadn’t seen him for months.

Now you sat by yourself at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. You looked down at the book Sirius gifted to you on your eighteenth birthday just days before he left. It was a muggle book full of poems, something James had shown to him. You two had each other’s backs in the hardest of times. You understood each other on a different level. When he would panic, you would soothe his heart rate. When you would cry he would be there to comfort you. You nervously tapped your finger on the table, turning to see Sirius enter the Great Hall with his friends. They called themselves the Marauders, proud of the shenanigans the four got up to. You didn’t like them, mainly because you were jealous of them. James Potter was from a pureblood family, but nothing like yours. They were loving and kind. Remus was a half-blood boy that was far too good for this world, and Peter was a half-blood as well who was quiet and reserved. They got along with each other so well, you wondered if that’s where Sirius ran off to. To be with them.

Sirius’ eyes scanned the room, and they landed on his brother Regulus. You knew it must’ve been hard for him to leave his brother behind, but then again they were completely different. Unlike Sirius, Regulus was fully devoted to his work with the Dark Lord. You and him rarely ever spoke, mostly because you thought he may be afraid of you. Sirius turned away and sat down with his friends, but you noticed how every so often he would look towards the Slytherin table. Suddenly he stood up, making some excuse to leave his friends, and headed off down the hallway. You took this as your chance to speak with him, standing up and chasing after him.

“Sirius!” you called after him and he stopped in his tracks, turning around with tears in his eyes. “How are you?” you asked politely. “Good.” he lied to your face, but he knew that you knew how he felt. You could hear his heart pounding in his chest, another perk to being a heart renderer. “I— I read the book that you gave to me. The muggle one.” you tried to change the subject, but you couldn’t drop the fact that he was upset. “The poems, they’re really beautiful.” you commented. Sirius only stared at you. “I’m sorry that you’re sad.” you said softly, you always had a way with your words. You knew he was upset about seeing Regulus after months apart, you knew it stung. “I’m saying that because I wanted to tell you that I’m not mad at you for leaving. Not at all.” you explained. You would’ve left too, so why would you ever be mad at him for doing what you couldn’t? “I love you, Sirius.” you breathed out. You didn’t love him in the way many would expect. Sure you had a crush on him as a kid, but you knew the two of you would never work out. You had love for him, though. You held out your hand for him to shake on a deal. “Stay friends?” you asked even though it was a lie. You couldn’t live a double life, that would only put him and yourself in danger. Sirius knew that too. “For life?” he questioned.

You must’ve been ten, maybe eleven— playing in the woods behind your childhood home. You would play there for hours with Sirius. It was a peaceful place, no parents to scold the two of you, just you and him always. You tripped over a rock, hitting your knees on the ground making you cry at the pain. “It’s okay, I’m here.” Sirius comforted you. “For life?” you asked and he nodded. “For life.” he confirmed.

“For life.” you smiled, and he took your hand to shake it. He pulled you in for a hug, signaling he knew it couldn’t happen. You hugged him back, and soon after he pulled away. He stared at you, his eyes flicking between both of yours. He cleared his throat before walking off, leaving you standing alone in the hallway.

—

Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter sat in the room of requirement. The year before Dumbledore recruited them to join the Order, a cause to fight for freedom and away from the grips of the Dark Lord. They had been tasked by Albus to speak with a wizard who worked under Tom Riddle, a man who knew anything and everything about their upcoming plans. The only problem was the Marauders were having a hard time figuring out a plan. Once they reached this man during the fall break, they wondered how they would get him to rat out his boss without force. They never had any ill intention, that included torturing this man into speaking. Well— Remus and James had no ill intent. Sirius understood how evil the Dark Lord was, and he wouldn’t draw the line at anything if it meant taking him down. Peter often agreed with Sirius.

“You know what would make this easier?” Remus asked, turning towards the group with folded arms. “What?” James sighed, rubbing his face in annoyance. They had been going back and forth with ideas for hours. They could dress up in a Death Eater’s uniform and pretend they were on his side, but that wouldn’t work. This man was smart enough to know who was and wasn’t apart of the Death Eaters. They could torture him, but that was off the table. They could simply just ask, but when would that ever work? “If we had a heart render.” Remus shrugged and Sirius shook his head. “Absolutely not, y/n is off the table and there’s no way we’re going to find a heart render in time.” he was quick to speak up.

“Why exactly is she off the table?” Remus had peaked James’ interest. “Because I know her, and her family. Her family is like mine but a million times worse.” Sirius explained. “I don’t know about a million—” Peter mumbled and Sirius shot him a glare, making him go quiet. Everyone stared at Sirius with begging looks. “I’m serious, she works directly under Voldemort. She wouldn’t take the shot to betray him even if she had the chance.” he recalled to when he pleaded with her to go with him, and she wouldn’t. “That’s why she was taught heart render powers from a young age, she was literally born to work for him.” Sirius continued. “It doesn’t help that she’s gorgeous.” James added which earned a punch to his arm from Sirius. “Okay, ouch.” James grumbled.

“Okay, so maybe she was born for it. But let’s look at it from her stand point. I mean she was born and taught by her sadistic mother, traded off like she was nothing. Maybe she had no other choice.” Remus tried to be understanding. Sirius had told them all about your story. James pointed at him with raised eyebrows in agreement. “I mean think about it, Sirius. She’s a pureblood Slytherin girl who chooses not to associate herself with the Death Eaters at this school. Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch Jr. She won’t even look at them. Maybe there’s some good in her.” Remus continued. Sirius scoffed. “Trust me, there’s not.” Sirius mumbled and stood up. “We’ll find another way, but y/n is not it.” Sirius said sternly and they all slowly nodded, all except for James. Soon after everyone went back to their dorm and headed to bed for the night. James laid awake, tossing and turning. He couldn’t get the idea out of his head, you could help them. He had been told no on a multitude of occasions, but when has that ever stopped him?

—

A week had passed and the four boys walked down the hallway after their classes, all heading for the Gryffindor common room. James turned towards them just as they passed the library, spotting you sitting by yourself inside. This was his chance. “I have to go to— bye!” he lied terribly, running off from them. “What was that about?” Peter asked and Remus laughed. “He probably saw Lily or something.” he teased. James rolled his eyes behind them.

James entered the library, hesitantly walking over to you. You were sitting quite peacefully reading your book. James pulled out the chair next to you. “Hello, y/n. Looking as beautiful as ever.” he complimented and you looked up from your book with a confused and annoyed expression. He stared back and after a beat of silence you finally spoke. “Okay.” you sighed, closing your book and grabbing your things to leave. “No wait, you don’t have to leave!” he spoke up and you turned towards him again. “I’m not a fool, Potter. You clearly want something.” you said in detest. “Okay, fine. I want something.” he finally admitted. “What’s that?” you questioned with an annoyed tone. “I want to know more about heart renderers. Everyone says their so bad but— you don’t seem all that bad to me. I’ve never even see you use it against anyone. Or use it at all.” he shrugged. “So what does someone of your nature do?” he asked. “I think you know.” you sighed. “There has to be some good to it, every horrible thing must have a balance.” James almost begged to know.

You finally gave in. “Okay— I can soothe someone’s temper, slow their heart and make them relax. Which clearly you need because I can hear your heart beating loudly.” you pointed out. “You can hear my heart?” he asked curiously. “I can hear everyone’s. Who is this Lily Evans by the way, every time someone says her name your heart beats quickly.” she observed. “Wait— how do you know that?” he asked. You rolled your eyes and finally set down your book. “When you walked in here Remus said Lily Evans, and your heart quickened in pace.” you teased.

“That’s not important.” James mumbled. “If my heart is beating fast then show me how you calm it.” he asked. “Show me how you can get someone to tell you anything just like Sirius says.” James was trying to gain her trust, to show her he wasn’t afraid like everyone else was. “I can’t, I’m not allowed to on school grounds.” you leaned back in your chair. “No one has to know.” James smirked and you stared at him for a second. He wasn’t lying, and he definitely seemed curious about your power. “Give me your hand.” you gave in. James held out his hand palm up. Your slim fingers trailed down his cold hand, everything seemed to suddenly move slow. His heart beat was loud in your ears, and once your fingers reached his wrist and you touched his pulse, it slowed down to a calming rate. “Tell me what you want.” you spoke softly, your buttery smooth voice being the only thing he could hear. He looked into your eyes, before opening his mouth to speak before he even had the chance to stop.

“I need a heart render, give you the chance to do some good in this world.” he answered honestly. You pulled away and thought for a moment. This was your chance, a safe distance away from Tom Riddle and your mother. This was your chance to finally do some good i with your power. You knew you could trust James, Sirius sure did. They were apart of the Order, something you had grown familiar with when Sirius would tell you about it late hours of the night. This whole thing, him needing a heart renderer, had to do with something like that.

“I’m in.”

—

James walked into the room of requirement for their weekly meeting, a proud smile on his face. “I found a heart renderer.” he said confidently. “What? How did you find—” Peter started but was quickly interrupted when you walked in behind him. “Y/N Y/L/N at your service.” you smiled and everyone had a shocked look on their face, Sirius was no exception. “Y/N Y/L/N?” Both Peter and Remus said aloud. You laughed, moving across the room to face all four boys. “I’ve never had that reaction before.” you smiled which quickly faded when you saw the look on Sirius’ face.

“What are you doing here?” he deadpanned. “I’m here to help.” you shrugged. “James here found me in the library and gave me the whole run down on your little issue here.” you looked towards James who still looked incredibly proud at his doings. “What the hell were you thinking, James? She’s dangerous!” Sirius yelled and you looked over at him with a hurt expression. “You didn’t seem to think so when you came to me to calm yourself down.” you exposed him and he glared at you.

“Listen, we could really use her help.” Remus interjected, and Sirius rolled his eyes. “I don’t mean this to come off rude, but how do we know we can trust you?” Peter asked and you looked at him now. “I mean— don���t you work for you know who?” he asked. “It was more like a limited partnership.” you explained without really having to say much. Everyone fell silent. “Listen, if I was really that devoted to Tom Riddle I definitely would not be helping you idiots get valuable information on him. Yet here I stand.” you held out your arms.

“Okay, so say we can trust you. How do we know you won’t rat us out.” Remus asked and you stared at him before sighing. “I have been used by him my whole life, and never have I been given the chance to actually use these abilities for the better benefit of actually helping people. I think the Order can do just that. I know you’re all suspicious of me, maybe you think I’m using my powers on you right now to trick you, but trust me— you would know.”

“She’s right, it’s like a whole other experience.” James laughed and they all turned quickly to look at him. “She used her powers on you?” Sirius asked in shock. “Of course she did, and let me tell you, whatever she did to me will definitely work on that guy we’re trying to talk to.” James defended your case, something you had never experienced before. “Thank you, James. That was really kind.” you smiled and he nodded. “Fine, but after this you’re done.” Sirius was still suspicious.

“Great! When do we start?”

[rainydayathogwarts]

When we were young - Sirius Black

saw a post about Sirius x slytherin!reader's relationship drifting apart from when they were childhood best friends and wanted to add my own thoughts. If anyone finds the author of that blurb, please tag them in the comments! Warnings: SMUT, cheating (r cheats on bf), semi-public sex 2.7k wc

Sirius had immediately stopped speaking to you the second you got sorted into Slytherin, set on building himself a reputation as the odd one out of the family, wanting to break all ties with the Black family. Ties that included you. You're no different, of course. Once you've pieced the puzzle together, noticing how Sirius's gaze always drifts away just as you look his way, you decide not to self-sabotage your relationship with your family, instead going along with their expectations of you. You become close friends with the other Slytherins in your year group, never missing an occasion to flirt with the older boys either. A new lifestyle has been adapted by both of you.

You soon become the type that the younger Slytherin girls aspire to be, strutting down the corridors without a care of what Gryffindors might say, shooting a snarky comment at them if they try causing problems with your friends. Sirius, on the other hand, becomes a typical Gryffindor prankster, set on getting everyone's eyes on him if it's ever possible. He seems particularly keen on targeting your housemates, though you never find yourself being a victim of his pranks.

In the summers, Sirius seems to have disappeared from the mansion, and you find yourself in Regulus' company more than you would have liked, the younger boy constantly going on random tangents. You listen to him as he was once your best friend too, but slowly stop going over when you realise Sirius won't come down to save you, preferring the tight friends you've made in the past few years over Regulus's company. With rich parents who are constantly on business trips, just like yours, your new friends' mansions are often empty, allowing more time spent there.

Sirius notices your absence; he can't hear your voice through the wall of his and Regulus's bedroom, but he pushes the thought to the back of his mind, occupying himself with his best mates, planning new pranks on the man who has you wrapped in his muscular arms. The relationship was unexpected. You'd been with all your friends, sitting on a couch with Narcissa while Barty, Lucius, Avery and Evan played a competitive game of Wizard's chest in teams of two. Evan had done a little triumphant dance, and claimed he wanted to go out for a celebratory smoke. You stretched your legs out in front of you, stating you'd wanted to go for a walk, and one thing led to another.

Sitting in the middle of his parents' giant hedge maze, Evan held his cigarette in one hand, the other cradling your cheek softly, guiding you into a passionate kiss. Feelings had been confessed, and before you knew it, your parents had found out about the relationship, strongly encouraging it to go on. So when the new school year started, you had become the talk of Hogwarts. Sirius hadn't taken the news well, complaints of how different you had become made common appearances in his daily conversations with the other marauders, who started shooting each other concerned looks for their best friend.

Sirius watched with distaste across the courtyard as Evan pressed kisses across your neck, arms wrapped around your waist while you sat in front of him, leaning back into his chest as you carried out casual conversation with Narcissa, who sat across from you. You turned briefly to face Evan, and Sirius perked up, expecting you to scold Evan, or at least shoot him and annoyed look, but instead you leaned further into him, connecting your lips with his, arms wrapping over his shoulders as he pulled you onto his lap. Sirius almost did a double take, his lip curling in disgust as he gathered his things, leaving the courtyard in a hurry.

Sirius had only ever known you as a little girl, disgusted by relationships and kissing, not as a grown woman who had gone past puberty, building relationships of her own, unafraid of her sexual nature. The same went your way too, always averting your gaze when you spotted Sirius making out with a different girl at parties, shoving away the thought that maybe it should have been you instead of whoever she was. You had discovered everything together, until you got to the age of puberty and relationships, splitting down different paths, arguably when you needed each other the most.

The first time you briefly reconnected in almost seven years, Lucius, Avery and Barty had barged into the Great Hall, late for breakfast, their hair dyed bright red, uniforms replaced with Gryffindor jumpers and red trousers - victims of another prank. They trudged up to the Gryffindor table, but before anyone opened their mouth, Evan appeared at the entrance of the Great Hall, having endured the worst of it all.

A collection of gasps was heard and you couldn't help but laughing in shock. His hair and trousers matched in colour, but he also had red stripes drawn on his face, as though he was supporting the Gryffindor quidditch team in a game. Worst of all, his shirt was off, exposing his beautiful abs, but when he turned around, red glitter spelled out "MY GIRLFRIEND HAS THE HOTS FOR LIONS" all over his back.

"Do you think this is fucking funny!? It doesn't fucking come off!" He yelled, pushing his friends out of the way to loom over the four marauders sat at the Gryffindor table, throwing the red jumper he held at them, causing a clatter of glass cups, and loud laughs. You couldn't help the grin on your face, a hand covering your mouth, trying to silence your giggles. You glanced up to look at the Gryffindor table, and for the first time in years, made solid eye contact with Sirius Black, who in that moment was your best friend again, both of you eleven years old without a care in the world. He smiled at you, looking up at your boyfriend, and though you couldn't hear what he said, when his mouth moved, your boyfriend's head instantly snapped in your direction.

"You think this is funny? Do you have the hots for Gryffindors?" This time you couldn't help the laugh from bubbling in your chest, even as the entire hall went silent. "No baby, you just look amazing in red." You insisted through laughs, not even convincing yourself. He stormed out of the hall, but you didn't bother following him, too busy collecting yourself. Somehow, that had caused you to be late to Slughorn's potion class, earning yourself a detention, despite many others being late to his lesson too.

You swung your feet from where you sat on the high stool in detention, glancing up at Slughorn, who made no move to give you any instructions. The door creaked, and you turned back to see who was entering. A flash of curly black hair and you knew exactly who it was, snapping your head forward again. "Mr. Black! Professor McGonagall told you to be here at 5 sharp! It is now 5:08!" Slughorn exclaimed, walking towards you. "Sit with Ms. L/N, you need to make me a few batches of the cure for boils. You can leave when you've filled up 50 bottles." You couldn't help the annoyed "What!?" that escaped from your mouth at the instructions. "Do you have a problem with that Ms. L/N?" You shook your head at the old man, looking back down at the desk.

The door slammed shut again, a clear sign of the Professor's absence, and you groaned, hitting your head on the desk. "I know exactly how you feel." Your head shot back up at the comment, having forgotten you weren't alone. "Sirius." The boy stared at you with a soft smile and you pursed your lips awkwardly. His name felt familiar coming out of your mouth, but it had been so long since you'd said it last that it felt almost alien at the same time. A long silence filled the room, causing chills to run up your arms.

"Hey, sorry about your boyfriend by the way." He started, making you look up at him. You scoffed, a smile tugging the corners of your lips up "Are you really?" Sirius shook his head, grinning. "No, but you don't seem sorry either." You shrugged, "Well, I need some excitement with him. He's..." You trailed off with a huff, biting your bottom lip, afraid you had said too much to the wrong person. "Someone looks like they're about to break up with their boyfriend." Your eyes went wide, and you shook your head, snapping "You can't say anything Sirius. I'll get to it when I get to it." He made a move of zipping his mouth and throwing a key away, and you sighed.

"Best friends always keep each others' secrets." You scoffed, replying with "What best friends? You haven't been able to look me in the eye since I got sorted into Slytherin. I hung out with Regulus during the Christmas holidays for the first two years of life at Hogwarts." You complained, your eyebrows furrowing. "Why the change all of a sudden?" You remarked, hopping up on the desk, dangling your legs over its side and leaning forward. Sirius stepped closer to you so you were barely a foot away from each other, wiping his palms on his trousers and biting his lip. "Because I-I... Just let me help you break up with him." He begged, looking at you hopefully.

"Sirius, wha-" You gasped when two calloused hands cupped your face, bringing it forwards so that Sirius could kiss you desperately. Your hands came up to Sirius's chest, pushing him away from you. Panting, you observed the boy in front of you, completely bewildered. Sirius stood, a grimace on his face as though he knew this would happen. "You can't just! You can't-" You breathed, hands gripping his jumper, pulling his body back to yours urgently. You pressed your lips back to his the second he was close enough, his arms wrapping around your waist just as Evan had done the day before.

Sirius bit your lip down making you gasp, and slipped his tongue into your mouth, battling with you for dominance. You moaned loudly, hugging him closer to you. Sirius deepened the kiss, hands sliding down your back until he was groping your ass, massaging the fat between his big hands. You went on your tip-toes, trying to get impossibly closer to him, hips grinding into his, causing the both of you to moan loudly, breaking the kiss momentarily. You panted, catching your breath before grabbing both of Sirius's hands and dragging him into the ingredients cupboard to finish your business, desperately grinding against each other until you were hoisted up against the wall, panties falling down to your ankles while Sirius shimmied out of his pants, finally stuffing your tight cunt with his big cock.

Your lips never separated while Sirius fucked you, all the pent up frustration from the last few years being taken out of you in that moment. Your arm slipped under the back of his collar, nails scratching at the sensitive skin on his back, leaving angry red marks in their wake. Your orgasm hit you like a wave and you shuddered in Sirius's arms, moaning his name so loudly he had to slap a hand over your mouth to cover your sounds, eyes worriedly glancing at the closed door. After catching your breath, you had pushed Sirius away from you, falling to your knees to finish him off, making doe eyes at him as he gripped your hair, pushing you onto his dick. Sirius's thighs started shaking and he cussed your name out before he was pulling you back up to his level, slamming his lips against yours once more, tasting his own pleasure as he mumbled "Break up with him, break up with him."

That night, when Evan approached you trying to apologise, pressing kisses on your neck while hugging you from the back, his hips grinding against yours, you brushed him off, insisting "It was a dick move Evan. You didn't have to embarrass me in front of the whole school." Even when you knew very well that you were the one who had made fun of your boyfriend, humiliating him when he was just angry with another boy.

You and Sirius continued to meet after that, set on talking things out before things got serious between you, but you couldn't help the stolen kisses and wandering hands, even as Evan waited for you relentlessly in the common room as you had promised. Discovering that the other was still passionate about things you had loved as children brought you closer, as though you were uncovering your best friend all over again. You met the marauders, who instantly loved you, but it was really Lily who took you in, telling you more about herself than Narcissa had ever opened up to you about. You truly found your people, unafraid of what your parents had to say to you, or who pureblooded families thought you should make relations with.

"What the fuck is this?" Spat Evan one night, when you'd all been hanging out in you and Narcissa's dorm. You had been quiet all day, guilt-ridden, trying to figure out a way to finally break things with Evan. Four heads turned to face you and Evan, sat with his arm around your shoulder. The tall boy stood up, walking over to your open closet, and you immediately followed in horror of what he'd found. A red and yellow quidditch jumper laying under a pile of clothes. You'd forgotten it was there, having thrown it in your closet after you and Sirius had gone for a walk by the black lake late at night, giving you his jumper after feeling your cold skin.

Evan gripped the jumper in his hand and you tried cooly playing it off "Oh, that's probably from that prank, when they swapped-" "Don't fuck with me Y/N. Do you have the fucking hots for Gryffindors, is this was that is?" Evan yelled, stepping closer to your threateningly as you shuffled backwards. Narcissa stood up, walking towards you. "Calm it Evan, that's mine." "No it's fucking not!" Evan aggressively pushed you back and you squealed, tripping over your feet and slipping on the carpet, hitting your forehead head on the four poster bed as you fell, blood immediately beginning to drip down your face. Through teary eyes, you could see the four figures of your friends standing up and pulling Evan away from you protectively.

He was dragged out of the room, the door slamming shut behind them and Narcissa immediately crouched by you, bringing you into a tight hug, whispering comforting words into your ear. "I know, I know, it's okay." By the next day, not only had all the students found out what happened, but your parents did too, and everything you had done for seven years to meet the standards of being accepted by Slytherin pureblooded families had gone straight into the trash.

You had gotten an angry letter from your parents by breakfast, and all of Hogwarts witnessed the angry red cut on your face from Evan's outburst. Sides were made, people had opinions. 'It was wrong to cheat; worse to physically hurt someone because you were mad. It was cute that you and Sirius made up, but you should have told Evan. You were friends with the marauders, so everyone who preferred them over the Slytherins automatically liked you but that meant all the Slytherins who didn't personally know you now hated you.'

Sirius had worriedly ran over to you when he saw you in the hallway, bringing you into a hug that had you succumbing to tears in his arms. You weren't welcome back home, you told him, and he apologised for giving you the same reputation he worked so hard to get as the rebel of the family. Months later, when you graduated, Mr. and Mrs. Potter, Pettigrew and Evans all cheered for you because your parents hadn't shown up for their traitorous daughter.

Now, years later, living in your own house facing your best friends' house, you realised that the pain was all worth it because you had a wicked story to tell your children.

[twisted-tales-told]

hiiiii “I need a place to stay.” pls xx

I WAS SO EXCITED WHEN I GOT THIS

This ask game

It's two o'clock in the morning when Sirius wakes to a pounding on his front door.

Remus groans in bed beside him, throwing a pillow over his head--which becomes a unanimous vote against Sirius that it is in fact him that will be getting the door.

The night has been dramatic enough as it is, a storm throwing out the power for most of the evening and the clashing of thunder and lighting overhead being frequent enough that Albernathy the third--James' cat--has been hiding under the bed.

"Alright, alright I'm coming!" Sirius shouts when another round of banging begins.

He swings open the door, ready to give an earful to whoever it is--most likely James, forgetting his key for the 20th time, but all the words get stuck in his throat at the sight of his little brother standing there, dripping onto their welcome mat.

"I need a place to stay," Regulus blurts out before Sirius can even begin to think of words.

Sirius drags his eyes from Regulus' slightly frantic expression, his curly hair dripping onto his jacket--which is way too posh for two am--and finally to the backpack he's carrying swung over one shoulder.

"Pads," comes a drowsey voice behind him, "who's at the--Reggie?"

Sirius glances over his shoulder to see James in the hall behind him, glasses on, no shirt, and wearing his spider-man pyjama pants.

"Can I get a towel?" Regulus asks, far too polite for someone shaking like a leaf.

"Yes," Sirius stutters out, somehow far too loud. "I--yes. Prongs?"

"Going."

Sirius steps out of the way, letting Regulus into the apaetment. They regard each other silently for a second.

"May I...take your coat?" Sirius asks, cringing inwardly at the causalness.

But Regulus huffs a laugh, "only if you have one I can borrow."

"I do." Sirius tries, meeting Regulus' eye. "Have one you can borrow."

Regulus' expression is too open for Sirius' taste. He barely knows the boy--man now, standing in front of them.

"Regulus--" he starts, but he's interrupted by James returning with some clothes and a towel.

"I think these should fit," James shoves them into Regulus' arms, "bathroom is at the end of the hall. Feel free to use any of the products there. Sirius' fancy shampoos especially."

"Thank you," Regulus quietly toes off his shoes and pads down to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. A moment later Sirius hears the shower turn on.

"This is not how I saw my night going," Sirius pinches the bridge of his nose.

"What do you think happened?" James asks, fiddling with one of the drawstrings to his pants, "I mean--do you think your parents..."

"I have no idea," Sirius sighs, running a hand through his hair. "He's staying, either way."

"Of course," James says seriously. "He's always been welcome here."

"It's been three years," Sirius bites his lip. "A lot can change in three years."

James looks down the hall, and for once in his life, Sirius has no idea how to read his expression. But then James turns back to him, hand gripping Sirius' shoulder tight. "And some things don't ever change."

Part II

[ellecdc]

Black!reader that is “I don’t smoke” (mitski) because if their parents ‘you need to be mean be mean to her me, she I can take it and put it inside of me’

hi babes, this was my take on Black!reader who was always hurting on behalf of everyone else. this fic is very angsty compared to my usual standards, so please keep that in mind before reading, and mind the warnings. of course, as typical on ellecdc we have a happy/hopeful ending

Remus Lupin x Black!sister reader after The Prank™ [4.7k words]

CW: The Prank™, Black family trauma, the Marauders aren't speaking to each other, depressive episodes and self-loathing, siblings get quasi-violent/threats of violence? but for a good cause?, Remus' typical self-loathing, discussion of forgiveness and hatred, breaking up [not pictured] and making up [pictured]

The worst part-

Though, even the thought caused Sirius to scoff humourlessly, because what could possibly be the worst part of this? What could possibly be any ‘more worse’ than the worst thing he’d ever done?

Still, Sirius supposed, wand to his head, the worst thing about all of this would be the fact that Sirius didn’t regret it. Not really.

If anything, he only felt stronger in his conviction that Snape deserved to be mauled violently to death.

Yet…

Yet he didn’t find he felt particularly good about it all; about the way Remus woke up with new, deep, angry scars across his face courtesy of The Wolf who finally had a chance at a meal only to have that stolen before he turned on himself, about the way he looked at Sirius with an expression of pure unadulterated betrayal and then fury when he realised what he had done, about the three well aimed hits he took from James, nor about the way he had to listen through the door as Remus ended your relationship with you, officially giving into all of his deep-seeded self-loathing and beliefs that no one could or should possibly accept him.

And all Sirius managed to do was prove that to be true; that Remus couldn’t trust anyone. And as a result, he robbed you of the only love you had access to save what little you received from Regulus and Sirius.

So perhaps Sirius regretted that, but without access to a Time Turner, there was nothing to be done. 

There was nothing to be done. 

James had told him that “until he made things right with Remus, he wanted nothing to do with him”, and while he didn’t blame James, Sirius knew he was officially on his own because there would be no ‘making things right’. There was nothing right, not with Sirius, at least. 

Everything about Sirius was wrong.

There was nothing to be done. 

He brought the cigarette back up to his lips, the sensitive skin at the corner of his mouth cracking painfully as he took a drag. He appreciated the sting as his teeth started to taste like iron; the pain was both a welcome reminder and a distraction of his inner turmoil as he kept his gaze on the grounds below him.

He couldn’t look at the common room; the red and gold that once felt like home had faded into shades of grey. He couldn’t look in a mirror; his permanently downturned lips and angry eyes found him looking more like his father than he did himself. He couldn’t look at his hands; they were blistered and cracked from his tryst in the forest where he emptied his lungs by screaming until he was choking on air and punching uselessly at a tree.

He couldn’t look at any of his friends, because they couldn’t even look at him; they hated him.

He was hated. 

Sirius began to wonder how many more classes he could miss before McGonagall followed through on her threats to write home when the portrait hole opened.

He couldn’t look, though. Because he was hated.

“Aren’t you meant to be in class?” He heard you call to him, listening to your measured steps as you made your way to his spot on a windowsill. 

“I could ask the same of you.” He gruffed; voice cracking from disuse, from chain smoking, and from the perpetual tightness he had felt since That Night. 

“What are you doing, Sirius?” You sighed; you were exhausted. Exhausted of him. 

He was exhausted too.

“I’m minding my business, Y/N.” He spat back, stubbing out his smoke before lighting another one with a snap of his fingers. “You should try it sometime.” 

With a wave of your hand, the smoke was gone.

“What the fuck?”

“Get up.” You ordered simply, and Sirius shook his head at you.

“Go back to the dungeons.”

“No.” 

“I’m not in the fucking mood, Y/N.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Great, neither am I.” 

“I don’t want you here.”

“And I don’t want to be here,” You agreed, voice rising at Sirius’ petulance, “but I’ve got a brother who decided to stop functioning a few weeks ago, so here I am.” 

“I’m perfectly fine.”

“You smell.”

“Yeah well, you’re ugly.” Sirius sneered, pulling out another cigarette only for you to vanish the entire pack. 

“When was the last time you showered?” You demanded, and Sirius refused to look at you.

“Hm? Or changed? Or ate? When’s the last time you brushed your teeth?”

Sirius kept his gaze pointed at the grounds outside. 

“Sirius. Your hair is greasy, you smell stale, you look gaunt, and…they’re going to write home.”

“Good.” Sirius spat quickly. “As they should.”

“Is that what you want, Sirius? You want more people to be mad at you? More people to punish you?”

He didn’t answer.

“You’re already doing that enough for the rest of us.” You sighed, attempting to grab him by the arm only for him to shove you away. 

“Get away from me, Y/N, I mean it.” 

“No, get up.”

“Fuck off.”

“Now.” You nearly growled, and Sirius turned to see you aiming your wand in his direction, surprising a sarcastic laugh from him.

“What? Gonna hex me? Or are you gonna skip right to the Unforgivables, hm? Maybe an imperio? Or are you going to try some negative reinforcement? A crucio for disobedience? Salope stupide, de plus en plus comme ma mère chérie chaque jour.” (translation: stupid bitch, more and more like mother dearest every day)

Sirius flinched as you quickly raised your hand, prepared for a blow that you never landed. 

He looked back to see you standing there, hand poised like it was ready to hit him as you stared at him defiantly; your cool, piercing eyes so much like his own, but the displeased pinch of your mouth was that of your mother. 

“Is that what you want, Sirius? Huh? You want to be walloped a few more times on the nose so that everyone knows what a bad dog you are? You want to be punished for your misdeeds? Maybe get a few more of these?” And you punctuated your question by roughly grabbing at his jaw, fingers pressing into the painful bruises still colouring his cheeks courtesy of James. “That’s why you haven’t bothered healing them, yeah? So that everyone who sees will know what a right bastard you are."

He smacked your hand away with one arm and shoved you away from him with the other. 

“Or,” you continued - rather unphased by Sirius’ aggression - grabbing his balled up fist and bringing it up to your own face, “is it me you want to hit, hm? You want everyone else to hurt just as badly as you are? The world has been just terrible to you Sirius, you were dealt an awful hand! You just want everyone to suffer for it; to pay for the wrongs done to you.”

“Stop it.” Sirius hissed, trying to yank his hand away from you to no avail. 

“Hit me then, Sirius. Hit me. You wanna give into that Black Darkness? Want to be just as bad as they are? Just as bad as they’ve painted you to be? Go ahead.” 

“Stop.” 

“Then get up.” 

“Y/N…” He warned.

“Get up, Sirius.” 

“I hate you.” He spat, and your jaw tightened but you rolled your eyes as if you found him to be quite tiresome.

“Yeah, well, I don’t like you very much right now either.” 

He stood then, giving you no time to get out of his way before he was towering over you. You never faltered, though. He let you grab him by the sleeve of his shirt, he let you drag him up the stairs towards his dormitory - somewhere he hadn’t been since That Night, opting instead to sleep on the couches, a time or two in the room of requirement, and one night in the Shrieking Shack as Padfoot - and he let you bodily shove him into the boys’ bathroom. 

“Get in the shower, Sirius.”

“Sunny, please.”

“I’m not asking.” You said firmly. “Get in the shower.”

“I can’t.” 

You swore under your breath as you dragged him over to the shower stall, said nothing as he went no bones and sunk to the floor, and simply turned the shower on, soaking you both.

“Y/N, stop.” 

“Sirius, if you’re not going to take care of yourself, I will. Those are your choices.” You said defiantly, staring down at him as your school uniform became more and more drenched and your hair started sticking to the side of your neck.

Sirius let out a sigh and rested his head against his knees, and you accepted his relenting as the acquiescence it was. 

You pointed the shower head at him and began lathering soap into his hair before doing much the same with the conditioner. 

Sirius let the soap burn his eyes; welcomed it, even. He did nothing to help you with your tasks, though you didn’t ask him to. He did, however, draw the line at you trying to disrobe him.

“These need to come off, Sirius.” You said, pulling at his uniform shirt like something disgusting you found in a gutter.

“And I will take them off once you’re no longer staring at me.” He growled, causing you to scoff a humourless laugh.

“Like hells I’m letting you out of my sight again.”

Sirius simply groaned. 

“How are you going to wash your body, Sirius? Please don’t tell me you’re going to make me do that too.”

Sirius ripped the bar of soap out of your hands and glared at you as he shoved it beneath his clothes, washing himself the best he could under his sopping wet uniform. 

Though he was more than likely still sudsy, you shut the water off and vanished what water you could from both of your beings; each of your heads and uniforms still dripping wet as you flung open the bathroom door and marched across the hall.

Sirius’ mouth ran dry when you knocked on their dormitory door; somewhere between you confronting him in the common room and forcing him to bathe, classes seemed to have ended. 

He should’ve flung himself out of the common room window when he had the chance; he couldn’t see Remus, James, or Peter. They hated him.

He was hated.

Remus wouldn’t talk to any of them, and James and Peter weren’t talking to Sirius. Even though Remus had told them he didn’t want them “taking sides”, he didn’t seem too bothered watching Sirius get iced out. 

Because he hated him.

Sirius was hated. 

“Oh…hi, Y/N…” James offered awkwardly as he opened the door. 

You barely spared him a glance. “Potter.” You greeted simply as you dipped under his arm which had been holding the door open and marched towards Sirius’ bed. 

Remus pulled his head through the hole of his jumper as he watched you start digging through Sirius’ trunk, sharing a quick glance with James and Peter before his gaze moved to Sirius all but cowering in the doorframe. 

“Are you…wet?” Peter asked cautiously then, all three boys staring at you in bemusement as you packed up a duffle. 

“Yeah.” You responded simply, throwing Sirius a towel that he (thankfully) caught as everyone’s eyes fell to him. 

Sirius quickly ran the towel over his person as you let his trunk close with a loud thunk, hiked the bag you packed for him over your shoulder, and stalked out of the dorm room without sparing any of the boys - including your ex boyfriend - a passing glance. 

“Don’t you hate me?” Sirius whispered as he allowed you to lead him to the Slytherin dorms.

“No, Sirius. I hate what you did.” You sighed, never faltering in your steps but strengthening your hold on your brother's wrist. “I love you, that’s why I’m here.” 

Remus had tried telling Peter and James to leave him alone; he wanted to be alone. 

Yet somehow, every morning, the two of them would sit across from him in the Great Hall, say hello, and then talk amongst themselves whilst pretending he wasn’t there. 

That was fine, though. Remus was sort of pretending he wasn’t there, too. 

But while Remus could ignore James and Peter’s existence, Sirius’ existence, and even his own if he really tried hard enough, he couldn’t ignore your existence. 

He’d been more than slightly confused when you stormed into his dorm room last night completely drenched without your eyes ever cutting to him and packed up a bag for your equally drenched brother. 

He’d been more than slightly hurt when you left without sparing him a glance, too. Though he figured perhaps he deserved that. This is what he wanted, right?

Scratch that, actually, what he had wanted was to be safe and loved and protected by the people who promised to do that for him. That was what he had wanted.

It wasn’t until Peter and James paused in their conversation to look at Remus concernedly that he realised he had caused his tea to overflow by means of accidental magic. 

Remus threw a wad of napkins at the mess as he made to stand, but his legs felt wholly incapable of holding him up when he saw you enter the Great Hall, quickly followed by a rather dispirited looking Sirius who nearly bumped into you as you paused at the entrance.

Your gaze automatically fell to the Slytherin table where Regulus was shooting you and Sirius a perturbed look. 

You turned then towards the Gryffindor table when your gaze fell to Remus.

He found himself unable to break your gaze; he wondered if you could see the heartbreak pooling in his eyes, or the longing painted in the space between his brows.

He wondered if you could even manage to see past the new, ferocious scars decorating his face.

He certainly couldn’t. 

Your shoulders fell as you shook your head - so minutely that Remus wondered if he had only imagined it - before you grabbed Sirius’ sleeve and dragged him towards the Ravenclaw table where both Pandora and Benjy accepted the pair of you without issue. 

He was simultaneously grateful that neither of you were sitting over here and furious that the two of you deigned to sit anywhere else. You were his; his friend, and his girlfriend, you were supposed to be here with him. 

But he didn’t want either of you over here, he didn’t want… 

He didn’t…

“Moony?” James asked cautiously.

“Don’t call me that.” Remus spat before he stood abruptly and stormed out of the Great Hall. 

He never wanted any of this; sure, he wanted to go to school, but he never wanted friends. He didn’t need friends, he’d never had them before. He met some kind kids on the train who ended up being his roommates, but he was ready and willing to hold them at arm's length. 

And then…

And then he found that he rather liked their company, and that they seemed to enjoy his. And then he found that he cared for them, and that they seemed to care for him. And then they found out, and they were accepting of him. And then they did the impossible and found a way to be there for him like no one else before, they showed up for him in ways no one else had ever tried, in ways he never imagined possible. 

And then he fell in love, and then…

And then. 

And then one of the worst people Remus could imagine to know learned of his darkest secret, his biggest shame, his lifelong curse. 

And he learned that from one of his best friends; Snape learned of Remus’ darkest secret, biggest shame, and lifelong curse from one of his best friends. 

And suddenly, everything everyone had ever said about lycanthropy was true; he was a monster, unloveable, a threat and hazard to everyone around him.

And as he paused in front of a window where he could see his reflection - three violent claw marks stretching from his left eye across the bridge of his nose down over his lips - the monster stared back at him. 

He was a beast. He was a monster playing dress up; cosplaying as a wizard day in and day out when in reality, deep down, he was a vicious, disgusting freak. 

And now everyone knew it; Sirius knew it, you knew it, Snape knew it.

And for those who didn’t know it, they could suspect it; rumours flying around of how Remus managed to be mauled by some creature and survive to tell the tale, because the only thing scarier than a beast among men is a man that can take on a beast and live to tell the tale.

The worst part-

But the thought made Remus snort humourlessly, because really, how could there be a worst part of any of this? What could possibly be ‘more worse’ than the worst thing to ever happen to him, second only to being bitten all those years ago. 

But Remus supposed, wand to his head, that the worst part of all of this was losing you.

Remus let out another humourless chuckle as he let his head fall with a thunk against the windowpane. 

And the absolute fucking kicker was that losing you had been his own doing. 

For the first time in perhaps five days, you were alone. 

You sat in the farthest corner of the library near rows of tomes with enough layers of dust on them to promise you some solitude as you waited for Sirius’ meeting with McGonagall to end. 

You’d convinced him (rather forced him) to start attending his classes again, though you were certain he wasn’t exactly a delight to have in the classroom at the moment. You only hoped it was enough for the school to refrain from writing home.

You dropped your quill and pressed your fingers into your eyes hard enough to see stars. Sirius was displeased with you for ordering him about. Regulus was displeased with you for babysitting Sirius and ‘cleaning up’ after him. Your parents were displeased with you seemingly because you were born with free will. Your professors were displeased with you for submitting sloppy work because you spent the majority of your time doing Sirius’ for him in order to keep him from being expelled. Your roommates were displeased with you for smuggling a dog into your room for the past week, even though he was very well behaved and slept dutifully on the end of your bed. And Remus…

And Remus. 

He had looked so hollow and… dead when he told you this needed to end, that he couldn’t see you anymore. You didn’t think he was capable of occlusion, but that was the only thing that could possibly explain how he could manage to look at you like you didn’t even matter to him anymore.

Perhaps you didn’t.

You didn’t matter. 

Perhaps you were too much like your brother; he couldn’t forgive him, so you were unforgivable too. Perhaps you were just too much of a Black for him; perhaps he realised the mistake in keeping your kind around. 

You couldn’t blame him, you supposed.

You were a tiresome bunch. You didn’t often want to keep your kind around, either. 

You shook yourself out of your pity party and returned to your notes, only to watch as Remus pulled out a chair opposite of you at your table. 

“The library’s plenty large, Lupin; I’m sure if you looked harder you could find another table.” you offered, hoping for indignation but landing somewhere around disheartened. 

“Is Sirius alright?” He murmured quietly, and you forced your eyes up to meet his. 

He looked dead tired; his eyes were sunken and his skin was missing its warm glow. But in his eyes laid an earnestness that had you remembering just how wholly safe and full you felt whenever you found yourself pinned beneath his gaze. 

You quickly looked away.

“Not really.” You replied honestly. “But I think he deserves that.” 

Remus made a noncommittal sound as he continued staring at the top of your head; you couldn’t see it, mind you, but you could certainly feel it.

“And you?” 

“What about me?”

“Are you alright?”

“Why?” You demanded, and you looked up in time to see Remus finally look down into his lap. 

You stared at him as he wrung his hands in his lap while you catalogued the scars across his face. You wondered if where they landed over his eyes caused him any vision issues. You wondered what the ones over the bridge of his nose would feel like as you traced your fingertip over them. You wondered what the ones on his lips might feel like under your own. 

You hated them, knowing that he did too, knowing how he came to have them. But you loved them because they were his, because it was him. Because you loved him. 

“Are you alright?” You decided to ask then, and he looked up at you as if he was surprised you were still there.

“No.” He responded quickly.

“I’m sorry.” You offered, though you knew not what for. You really hadn’t done anything. 

“How-” Remus started, though he quickly looked back down at his hands as he searched for the words.

You waited for him. 

“How…can you help him?”

You felt your eyebrows furrow, because whatever you thought Remus might’ve been about to ask, it certainly wasn’t that. 

“What?” You asked dumbly. 

“How can you help Sirius? After all that he’s done?” He continued gently.

“I… because, Remus, someone has to.” 

Remus nodded as he considered your response. “There’s a… part of me that feels as though you’re choosing him over me.” 

“Remus. You chose; you made that decision for me. I didn’t choose anyone’s side.”

“So if we were still dating right now, would you have forgiven Sirius?”

“Forgiven?” You repeated incredulously. “Who said anything about forgiveness?” 

Remus simply blinked at you owlishly. 

“Remus, I cannot just sit here and let him whither away into nothing because I’m mad at him. He fucked up - big time - there’s no question about it. And deep down, I know he knows that too; that’s why he’s been torturing himself over it. There is no way in which I could treat him that would be worse than the way he’s treating himself right now. But I-”

You shook your head as you fought off the stinging in your sinuses; you did not want to cry in front of him. 

“There is no one rooting for us, Remus. No one. You’re pissed at him - rightfully so, and completely justified - Potter and Pettigrew are pissed at him too, he’s pissed at himself and I… someone has to, Remus. Someone has to root for him, I can’t…I can’t just abandon him, not when there’s no one else.” 

“I can’t… I can’t feel bad for him, Y/N.” Remus exclaimed helplessly. 

“I’m not asking you to; I’m simply telling you why I do.” 

“I don’t…I don’t know how to forgive him, dove, I don’t know how to not hate him for this.” He nearly sobbed, holding his hands out helplessly as if the grief and torment were tangible things that he could crush in the palm of his hands if only he could catch them. “Why don’t you hate him? Please tell me? Because I genuinely want to know. I need to know - I don’t…I don’t want to hate him.” 

“He’s my brother, Rem.” You said simply, shrugging your shoulders helplessly. “I hate what he’s done, I hate the choice he made, I hate the outcome of that choice, I hate what he did to you, I hate what that’s done to me, but… but I don’t hate him. I can't hate him.” 

The two of you sat in silence for a while; the only sounds coming from the odd book being magically sent back to its shelf and the odd voices from students downstairs when a study group got a touch too boisterous. 

“Do you hate me?” Remus whispered then; your eyes flit up to meet his which were already steady on you. 

“No, Remus.” You whispered back.

He nodded as his gaze fell. “Just what I did?” 

Your lip quirked in the faintest ghost of a smirk. “Yes I…I sort of hated that, I suppose.” 

“I don’t want to hate him.” He repeated.

“I know.” 

“Do you-” Remus paused, turning away and screwing his eyes shut as you realised he was crying. “Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me?”

“Remus…”

“I was scared, and hurt, and angry, and-” he hiccuped, reaching across the table as he nearly begged for your hand. You gave it willingly. “-and I hated him but I mostly hated myself.”

“I know, Rem.”

“Please? Do you…do you think you’d be able to forgive me? For leaving, for running, for abandoning you? You’ve never once given up on the people important to you and one bad thing happens to me and…and I just throw you away, I-” He looked at you as if he was only realising all of this now; hurt, frustration, anger, and betrayal all on your behalf flickered behind his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Remus.” You insisted, but he quickly shook his head at you. 

“It’s not; it’s not okay, I- … I’m not as gracious as you, clearly, but I just…I just feel like if you’re strong enough to forgive me then there’s…there’s hope for me, too. That maybe I can be strong enough to forgive Sirius.” 

“You’re forgiven, Remus.” 

His eyes fell shut as more tears fell, but you were sure it was more from relief than it was from pain. 

Both boys - Remus and Sirius - were so good at torturing themselves over choices they’ve made that you were certain no one else would ever have to as long as they both should live. 

And for different reasons, you loved them both beyond measure. 

“I don’t deserve forgiveness.” Remus whispered.

“Of course you do.” You countered, squeezing his hand in yours and watching as some of the tension in his shoulders dissipated. 

“Does Sirius?” He asked quietly, keeping his eyes pointed at where your joined hands sat on the table between you. 

You’re not sure when or how you became the leading expert on conflict resolution and forgiveness; perhaps it was in refereeing Sirius and Regulus’ petty squabbles growing up, perhaps it was in shielding Regulus from your parents fury, perhaps it was in trying to tame Sirius enough to keep him out of trouble, perhaps it was in being the youngest cousin along with Regulus and watching the siblings before you find their own ways to define what was right and good, perhaps…perhaps it came from the many examples of conflict and spite that you had witnessed growing up.

“I don’t know, Rem.” You answered honestly. “I think…I think the only one who can really know that is you.”

If he was displeased by your answer, he didn’t show it.

“But,” you continued cautiously, “I don’t think you have to forgive him for what he’s done. You just have to decide whether you’re going to hate him for it or love him in spite of it.” 

His lips pursed, pulling at scars both new and old in ways you’re not sure you’d ever grow tired of watching, as he nodded. “I don’t want to hate him.”

“I know, Rem.” 

“I don’t want James or Peter to hate him either…I don’t know why they were willing to watch him wither away like that.”

You couldn’t hide your smile at that; the first genuine smile since That Night. “They don’t, and they weren’t.” You countered, only moving to explain when he looked at you in bemusement. “They were the ones who told me how bad he was getting…they wanted to make sure someone was looking after him without giving into his pity party.” 

“Always taking care of everyone else, hm?” Remus murmured at you, bringing your hand up to his lips to press a delicate kiss to your knuckles. 

You simply hummed noncommittally. 

“Can I return the favour?”

“You can certainly try, but I’m quite high maintenance.” You teased gently. 

“That’s alright.” He agreed quickly. “You’re more than worth the effort.” 

You breathed out a quiet laugh through your nose. “Whatever you say, Lupin.”

[hart269]

Slithering Hearts

Chapter 9

Pairing : Regulus Black x Fem! reader

Synopsis : You begin an unlikely friendship with the little Black. And soon your whole life seems to have become a tumultuous pathway. The catch, James Potter is your brother.

A/N : The plot thickens as Sirius runs away from home.

Masterlist / Series Masterlist

Through the incessants knocking of the door at midnight, you had managed to be there first. Considering you were already awake, you had been the first to respond to the knocks, though you gripped your wand tight. It was storming outside, rain pelting down on the Potter Manor. Keets, your house elf stood behind you, although she argues to there first, you managed to keep her behind. You pried the door just as the frantic knocking stopped.

Out of all the things you had expected, a drenched Sirius Black wasn't one of them. He looked shabby, thin as if he hadn't eaten all summer. His knuckles were red and pale, clutching a small bag on one. His face had little cuts on them, and there were tears running down his face mixed with the rain water.

"Hello baby potter" he croaked. Another round of thunder cackled, as his body slumped, you screamed for James, lifting Sirius who was on his knees. Keets rushed to call your mom. James came running, running his hands through his tousled hair. Eyes widening at the sight of Sirius, he rushed to take him in his arms, getting his t-shirt soaked.

"Hey, Padfoot" James brushed his wet hair behind, "Be with me alright"

Sirius however kept crying, buried in his bestfriend's shoulder. The footsteps on the stairs, indicated, your parents rushing downstairs.

Sirius finally parted, "I had nowhere else to go, my mother she wanted me to join him".

Your eyes darted to the door, as if waiting for another figure to step in, coming back in disappointment.

James rubbed his back, "Join who, Sirius"

Sirius looked up in misery or fury, you couldn't tell, "Voldemort". Euphemia gasped hearing that name.

Sirius shook his head, "Euphs, I'm sorry for coming at this hour but I can't go back to that house".

Fleamont stepped forward, "Absolutely not, there is no chance you're going back to that house."

Sirius nodded, tears of appreciation flowed down his pale cheeks. Euphemia however looked in concern, "Sirius, dear, are you hurt?".

He however only gave a little grunt, "Nothing that bad", which in all its seriousness probably didn't mean much."

Your mom nodded, "I'll send some potions for you, James, honey take him to your room."

James moved with a "Yes mum". You left soon too, your mind still wandering about Reg, why didn't he come with Sirius, did they not let him, was he hurt or worse, Sirius didn't say anything to indicate his whereabouts.

You asked him that after breakfast, he however scoffed while you felt your heart sank, "I would advise you to stay away from him, he isn't what you think he is"

You weren't to back down soon, "Why would I, I have spent more time with him in the past few years than you did, I know him, Sirius, he isn't bad"

He sighed, "You're blinded by your itty bitty crush, he is just like them, he didn't even" He choked, "He didn't even seem to have an idea of what he's getting himself into, he's just mommy's little boy who will do whatever she tells him to"

"Do you really think of him like that because I know for a fact that he hates living there as much as you do, you think he likes to be there, that he enjoys being in her presence" you snapped.

He shook his head, glowering "Really, he wasn't the one who got punished for being in a different house, he wasn't the one his mother hates for simply fucking existing"

You took a deep breath, "You're right Sirius, you are, doesn't means he's that better off is it, you both live in the same house, and not to mention he loves you Sirius, he does, he won't say it, you won't say it but he is your brot-"

"Stop it, stop defending him, are you listening to yourself, he is fiooling you, he has turned to their side, no matter what you or I feel, he is gone to them".

Maybe the truth wasn't that Sirius never wanted to talk to Regulus, maybe it was that everytime he wanted to his brain shut him off. To admit he felt sympathy from his brother would have him accept Reg's pain along with his own, and he didn't feel brave enough to do so.

Summer went quietly, not a letter from Reg. You and Sirius eventually became civil with each other, hanging out all together. Soon, he became an unofficial Potter, heck he accidentaly called Euphemia mom once and now he had stuck with it.

The ride to Hogwarts express was filled with apprehension, you were sitting next to Amelia. You were hearing her talk about her Summer ignoring the sting you felt realising Regulus was now plainly ignoring you.

You knew there had to be something but you decided to wait until you could find him alone, which was near impossible. He wasn't to be seen in astronomy tower either. You waited and waited, until you snapped, dragging him away from Rosier and shoving him into an emoty classroom. Locking the door behind, you pointed the wand at his neck, "Any last words, Black?"

"Last words huh, you''re gonna kill me Potter, you can't even seem to stay away from me" he leaned over you.

"I bet ghost Regulus would be nicer, you have been avoiding me like a plague, some friend you are" You stared back at him with ferocity and an unrecognised softness.

"Then go, what are you waiting for?" he said, not looking at you.

"Is that it, Reg, Is that all you have to say, all you can say, have I not listened patiently to whatever troubles you" your voice went soft with each syllable.

"What do you want me to tell you, you know what happened, he left to your house, not a letter, not a note, in the dead of night, he just left, I didn't even know where until much letter"

His fingers fumbled with his robes.

You took his hand, "You can come too, Reg. Run away from there, come with me"

He hesitated, "I can't, It's too late for me anyways"

Your eyebrows furrowed, "What do you mean too late Reg?"

Regulus didn't look at you, "You should leave while it's still time, you can still save yourself"

You scoffed, "I don't need anyone to save from me, not from you. Do you know how many times I'v been told to leave you and I told off every time, and now you are doing the same".

He slumped against the wall, his hand still clutched in yours, "Maybe they were right?"

"Right about what, Reg right about what, can you be fucking clear" the words burnt in your throat. Frustration clawing its way in.

His eyes were filled with pain, as he looked at you in desperation, alternating his choice between telling you to leave him alone or to stay forever. He decided in the end, to let you decide, for he couldn't find a way out of his misery. And he had known you more than he had known himself.

He slided the cloak covering his arm, hearing you gasp gave him the confirmation that you had seen it, the mark. The hollow eyes of the skull that bore onto him every single time he saw it, haunting him.

Your fingers brushed over it, testing that it wasn't a mere part of your hallucination. That it was really there. You flinched as if it had burned and he suspected it may have, charred something. You took a shuddering breath, you had thought of many possibilities but this, this was different from all of them. The horror of reality outweighed your imagination.

You looked at him to find him already looking at you, his expression grim, his eyes distressed, pained. "Did you agree to this?".

One question that you beleived was the most crucial one now.

"Not directly, no, The night after Sirius was gone, I had nowhere to run, I couldn't leave, I had no magic, I was surrounded by them, so many of them" He choked, a lone tear escaped his eyes. You gently brushed it away, he dropped his hands onto your cheek. "I couldn't tell them no, he was there, he said it was an honour that I was his youngest soldier but I felt anything but so. I felt vile and it wouldn't go away" He glared at the mark, sniffling. Rubbing it harshly while more tears fell.

You held both his hands, stopping him. You slowly snaked your arms around his waist, pulling hin gently towards you. His body remained tense, until he too wrapped his hands around you, head dropping into the crook of your neck. He tightened his grip, engulfing you in him. His body was shaking. You gently rubbed circles in his back.

"It's okay, Reg, everything will be fine." He just clutched you tighter until he couldn't feel his hands or his feelings. Was it bad that you personally wanted to murder his parents?

Taglist : @shycreationdreamland @mp-littlebit @girlbooklover555 @godofstory @misacc08 @starchaser-lily @moonywastakenn @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @skepvids @venomsvl @hecateschildren @rainyroads @heizoulvr

[enbysiriusblack]

funeral- day 28 @regulily-microfic

word count: 224

Regulus and Lily stood next to each other, staring as the coffin was lowered into the ground.

Lily adjusted her black fascinator before turning to whisper to Regulus.

"Who's funeral is this?"

Regulus glanced to the gravestone, "Lenny Richards'."

"Right", Lily hummed, "And do you know Lenny?"

"No."

Lily glanced to the crowd around her, before grabbing Regulus' arm and leading him across the graveyard.

"Why did you want me to come to Lenny Richards' funeral as your plus one?"

Regulus frowned slightly, "Because I like you and wanted to go on a date with you."

Lily huffed, "To a strangers funeral?"

"That was my parent’s first date. Well, not a strangers funeral, it was their grandparents. Should I have taken you to a relative's funeral? I'm afraid none have recently perished."

Lily smiled slightly, "I think maybe we can go on a date that isn't a funeral."

"Oh", Regulus frowned, "Okay. Are we leaving now?"

Lily glanced back over to the crowd before once again grabbing Regulus' arm, "Nah, we got all dressed up", she gestured to her black dress, "Let's say goodbye to Lenny."

Regulus straightened out his own black tie before frowning in thought, "But we never said 'hello' to him."

Lily slid her hand down Regulus' arm till she reached his hand and squeezed it tight, "It's never too late."

[licnheartedd]

where the lost things go

jegulus microfic | 462 words | parenting au

═══════☆═══════

“Piglet?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Eeyore?”

“It has to be Tigger, James.”

Harry has been wailing in Regulus' arms for about an hour now—almost the exact length of time since he dropped his most beloved teddy. James and Regulus had looked everywhere for it, turning every inch of their house inside out, and had come up empty. It’s as if Harry’s Tigger had never existed in the first place.

“They don’t have Tigger, baby,” James says through the phone, barely audible over Harry’s cries. Regulus does his best to calm the baby down, but all of his efforts have proven futile. “I could try another store?”

“No, it’s—just come home, Jamie. We’ll figure something else out.” Exhausted, Regulus hangs up the call and turns his attention back to their son. He hates seeing Harry like this, red-faced and teary-eyed, not knowing how to fix it. He wouldn’t trade this life for the world, but it would be lovely if there was some kind of instruction manual.

Nothing he has tried so far has worked. Harry has no interest in eating or taking a nap or playing with another toy. He barely seems to react to Regulus’ voice. At this point, it feels like a miracle that Regulus hasn’t started crying along with him.

He has one idea left in his desperate attempt to soothe Harry. Settled on the couch with Harry curled against his chest, Regulus begins to sing. It is the same soft lullaby his brother sang to comfort him when they were kids, though Regulus would argue that Sirius is not known for having a particularly calming voice.

It takes him until halfway through the song’s second verse before Harry finally calms down. There are no more wails echoing off the walls, just the faint melody of the lullaby falling from Regulus’ lips. By the time the song ends, Harry’s eyes have fallen shut, and his cries have been replaced with soft snores.

“You’re a miracle worker,” James’ whispered voice muses from the doorway. Regulus turns his attention from their sleeping son to find his husband leaning against the door frame, Harry’s Tigger held tight in his hand.

“You found it?” Regulus asks, careful not to raise his voice any louder than absolutely necessary.

James chuckles, stepping farther into the living room to sit down next to Regulus. “It was at the front door, inside one of your welly boots.”

If it wasn’t for the fact that he was so drained, Regulus would have to bite back a laugh. Instead, he drops his head onto James’ shoulder with an amused huff, and takes Tigger from his hands to lay it on top of the sleeping baby. “Next time, you can stay home while he screams. I think I’ve earned a day off.”

[comically-callous]

Mommy’s home 👅👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦💋💋💋💋💋💋

Please, don’t hate me.

Regulus Black x gn!muggleborn!Reader

Warnings!!!: Implied abusive family, Regulus gets the dark mark and sort of hates himself for a bit, guilt, self harm??? (Regulus scratches at his skin, but no mentions of blood or anything extreme), crying, I think that’s it idfk

A/n: That’s right bitches, I’m back after MONTHS of being gone. And I’m coming back with a little bit of angst because fuck it, why not. Fret not, there’s a happy ending. Anyways, requests are open, PLEASEEEEEEE send them in, I wanna get back into posting on here.

The first day back from break had been horrible.

Regulus didn’t know what time it was, and it didn’t matter to him. He didn’t want to leave his room anytime soon.

Over winter break, he had been given the dark mark. The whole thing was sort of blurry. In the moment, Regulus had tried to take in as little as possible in hopes that he wouldn’t remember it so vividly. He remembered the burning sensation on his arm as the ink imbedded into his skin. He remembered his mother telling him how proud she was. And he remembered crying in his room afterward, clawing at his own skin in a desperate attempt to get rid of the mark.

You were going to hate him. That was all he could think of.

You, his best friend, one of the only people who made him happy, the person he’d fallen in love with. You were going to hate him.

He felt like an idiot, because he knew this would happen eventually. Hell, when the two of you started getting close, it was one of the first things he’d told himself. One day, he’d get the dark mark. And since you were a muggleborn, you would have every right to despise him for it.

So, why was he so devastated?

He knew why.

Before you left the train station, you’d wrapped your arms around him in a tight hug and whispered a quick “I love you.” Before pulling away and running to meet your parents.

That was the last thing you’d said to him, and the minute you found out he got the mark, that statement wouldn’t be true anymore.

He couldn’t handle that.

He couldn’t handle losing you, because you were the only person that he always saved a seat for during his meals. You were the only person who he’d slip an answer to during class. You were the only person who knew he was still afraid of thunder, and you were the only one who had held his hand during a particularly bad storm at Hogwarts.

You were the only person that had ever actually loved him.

That’s why he was refusing to leave his room. He didn’t want to see you, even though he needed your comfort right now.

He sat, curled up in bed, and he didn’t look at his left forearm, because he knew he’d start crying all over again if he did.

He’d stay here forever. He’d stay here until you just forgot about him.

Knock, Knock, Knock

He knew who it was. Who else would it be? Hardly anyone other than you had ever even been in his dorm.

He didn’t answer and he hoped to the gods that you would just go away. But, it was you. So, of course you stayed.

“Regulus?” Your voice called out softly. “Are you in there?”

He didn’t reply.

“Regulus, I’m really worried about you….” You said as you tried knocking again. “Please, if you’re in there, say something… Regulus, please.”

His stomach twisted and he felt like he was going to vomit. You were going to see him sooner or later. So, he replied.

“Y/n, I…. I’m not feeling good.”

He heard you sigh in relief before speaking again. “I’m sorry, I just…. Can I come in, please? I wanna see you.”

He closed his eyes and pulled his blanket over his form. “Door’s unlocked.” He muttered from under his covers.

For the first time since he’d arrived back at Hogwarts, his door opened. “Regulus?” You spoke softly as you entered his room. He stayed silent. “Regulus.” You said his name again and he shifted under his covers to glance at you. You really did look worried. Of course you did.

“Hey….” He mumbled.

“What’s wrong?” You sat on the edge of his bed, movements careful and slow. As if you’d scare him by moving too fast, as if he were the most fragile thing in the world.

“I’m sick.”

“No, you’re not.” You chuckled dryly. “The last time you were sick, I skipped class to stay with you. You didn’t put up a fight to have me around then.”

“Well, you got sick after that.” He reminded you. “Don’t want you getting sick again.”

“Can you please just tell me what’s actually wrong?” You shifted closer to him. “You’re making me nervous.”

He stayed silent.

“…. Regulus.”

His voice came out sounding pitiful. It was quiet and almost broken sounding. “Please, don’t hate me.”

You blinked, surprised. “What?“ You asked. “Why would I—?” But, before you could get out that sentience, Regulus had sat up, lip trembling, eyes big and watery.

“Please.” He repeated.

“Regulus, why would I hate you?”

“You should! You should, I’m horrible!” He began to sob.

“Regulus—“ You shifted closer and laid a hand on his shoulder. “What are you talking about?”

He finally lifted his head. For a moment he considered just not telling you, keeping things the way they were before he’d gotten this damned mark. But, he knew better. You didn’t deserve to have something like this kept from you. It would only make this worse.

He tried his best to calm his breathing and straightened up a bit, holding out his wrist.

You almost gasped at the sight. The dark mark etched into your best friend’s skin. You stared in silence.

“I didn’t want it.” He said shakily. “You have to believe me, I didn’t want it, Y/n. It was my family. You know how they are, they-“

“Why are there scratch marks?” You asked, interrupting him.

He paused. “What?”

“Around the mark,” You gently took his arm and looked closer. “Scratch marks. What happened?”

“I….” He didn’t understand. Why weren’t you screaming at him or crying or— Something other than this. “I was hysterical, Y/n. I tried to get rid of it, I thought-“

“You did this to yourself?” You asked worriedly.

He couldn’t believe it. He was still waiting for you to suddenly burst into a fit of rage or despair. “Well…. Yeah.”

“Regulus, please don’t hurt yourself over this.” You said softly, gently rubbing a thumb over the skin where the mark was. He blushed at the show of affection.

“You’re….” He tried to find the right words. “Aren’t you upset?”

You shook your head. “I mean, I’m upset for you. It’s sad. I’m really sorry that they made you get this.” You replied, moving your hand to interlock fingers with him. “But, no. I’m not upset at you.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my best friend, Regulus. And I know that this mark doesn’t reflect anything that you feel or think.” You brushed your thumb over his knuckles.

“I thought….” He sniffled. “I thought you were going to hate me.” He admitted. “I was so scared.”

“I don’t know why.”

“It’s a hate symbol. Y/n!” He started. “A hate symbol against people like you, and I-“

“I know all of that. But, you don’t hate muggleborns, do you?”

“No, of course not.”

“Exactly. So, that mark doesn’t mean anything to me. Cause I know you.” You squeezed his hand gently. “And I love you, Regulus. Always will.”

Those words made him relax. It felt so good to hear. He (reluctantly) let go of your hand and wiped away his tears. “Thank you.” He said quietly.

“For what?”

“Loving me.”

You chuckled softly. “You don’t need to thank me for doing something that comes naturally.”

He smiled a bit and a comfortable silence fell over the two of you. “You’ll really always love me?” He asked.

“Always.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He sighed and leaned against you. “Good.”

You laid your head on top of his and shut your eyes. “Good.” You agreed.