#their hobbies are mostly things i know literally nothing about and would not be able to get a thoughtful gift for

[philologique]

what should i put in a care package for a loved one who just had complex oral surgery and can't have anything crunchy/chewy

[leverage-ot3]

okay I’ve seen a lot of posts about sterling just being crowley and. guys. the implications just hear me out 😭😭😭

bending lore slightly here BUT let’s say crowley’s body was once inhabited by a human and crowley is possessing the body (maybe he kills the initial inhabitant bc he doesn’t care)

but he still has the guy’s memories. he doesn’t bother keeping up appearances with his ‘ex wife’ because he is too busy building up his hell empire. BUT for some reason he can’t quite identify, he still feels something towards his ‘daughter’. he lets the divorce happen and doesn’t feel the need (or desire) to fight for custody, but he can never quite forget her, to cast her out of his mind for good

some hijinks ensue with the leverage team. it’s mostly because even a grind culture demon wants some off time every once in a while, and for him the insurance investigator stuff is more of a hobby. interacting with the leverage crew is very low stakes for him, and honestly, quite amusing. they aren’t on his level power-wise, but that ford character gives him the mental exercise he hasn’t experienced in, well, he can’t even remember

he can feel their frustration and anger when they learn he has become employed by interpol and feeds off it. it’s great, and relaxing in a way he is never able to achieve while conducting hell-related business

one year he gets wind that olivia is in a really bad situation associated with his ‘ex wife’s’ new husband. he’s selling vital hardware to terrorists, and while that might actually be the kind of chaos he would normally support or be entertained by as the king of hell, something feels wrong about letting olivia stay anywhere near that man

he calls upon the body’s adversaries. he wouldn’t admit it, even under duress, BUT he feels slightly fond of them. nate for the three dimensional chess they play, sophie for her ability to charm and disguise, parker for her chaos and slightly unsettling nature (it’s the autism swag and being bad with human interaction but he doesn’t know that lol), hardison for his unapologetic intelligence and eliot for his hardened violent past and take-no-shit persona (he’s fun to tease)

they perform exactly as he expected, right into his carefully crafted plan. and then olivia is under his care and things get more complicated. he keeps her FAR, FAR away from anything related to the supernatural (heh). no one can find out about her, ESPECIALLY not those imbecile hunter brothers (if for nothing else than the embarrassment in revealing he has a weak spot)

not sure how to work it into this post but I also want to add that somewhere along the way he develops feelings for nate and sophie. the frame up job is near and dear to my heart and you can’t convince me that isn’t fighting as flirting behavior. his interpol persona is more of a side hustle so to speak, but he finds it fun (relaxing, even) to fill that role. there aren’t any obligations of other demons, bothersome hunters, or anything like that. nate and sophie are low stakes, except, they aren’t, really. they make him feel things he can’t ever really remember feeling. his heart beats fast when sophie sat in his lap and cradled his face, his hands sweat when nate gives him that certain smug look. he’s exasperated by the way they can run circles around him like no one else has ever before. they annoy him and get under his skin in a way no one else can and it’s infuriating. but also not, at the same time. maybe he likes it

and then the long goodbye job happens

hear me out and suspend your belief here for a second, because I can’t remember if crowley supernaturally knows when ppl die/are dead or not.

so nate is in interpol custody and the interviewer is obviously out of her depth. (most people are, when it comes to nathan ford.) he walks in and pours the man a drink, but he’s fuming. somewhere along the way he came to care about the team. hell and suffering is literally in his (official) job description, but he can admit (only to himself) that he admires what they do. it’s not for him, not anything close to where his passions and interests lie, but he respects their drive and purpose. he is also aware enough to acknowledge that they are a family, a group of misfits that never belonged quite anywhere except to each other.

and nate fucking blew it up, ruined it, because his vice is being so obsessed with the end game that he is apparently willing to let his team, his family, the people that anchor him to reality, die because the ends supposedly justify the means.

not this time. not to sterling crowley

he is enraged. he can admit within the confines of his mind that he cares for nate, for sophie, even for the other three (though nate and sophie have somehow made it a hierarchy where they are more important to him. which he will dissect later in private. maybe.)

nate let them die, he let sophie die, and for what? the black book? hell below, crowley would have made things easier somehow, if he knew that this was where nate’s sights had lied. he would have prevented this somehow. he wants to have prevented this. he doesn’t want any of them dead and is too afraid to check and verify because that would make it real. the idea of sophie (or any of them) somehow making it to hell instead of heaven would probably break something in him he might not be able to reapir fully.

he yells at nate- he’s angry. hellfire burning in his heart because everything is ruined. the deaths aside (however hard it is to set them aside in his mind), nate will not recover from this, not ever. this will be the start of the end, he is sure. a miserable, guilt-ridden existence where he drinks himself to death and nothing will save him. it plays out in crowley’s mind in a thousand different ways that are beyond painful to conceptualize, even in theory.

the story starts to unravel and there is a game afoot. a solemn, miserable, infuriating game because the con is still in session because parker is alive and in the building- which sets another fire alight in his chest. ‘parker even know you got hardison killed?’ he rages for her grief when she finds out. he knows it will double when she finds out eliot has perished, too, because he isn’t fucking blind.

but nate is a brilliant man, lest he forget too quickly. they are all alive, and somehow still the entire crew slips through his fingers. he’s not even angry (he never would have been- he doesn’t actually try too hard to catch them. it’s about the game, not the consequences). he lets them keep the black book because he’s fucking exhausted and honestly, they more than earned it.

‘now we’re even. tell sophie to drive carefully’. they will never be even, not really. crowley would never admit or agree that being human is the superior state of being, but that have made him feel human in a way he doesn’t actually mind. they keep him on his toes and match him in a way unique to them, they remind him that there are other things than the realm of hell. not necessarily bigger than hell, but maybe just as important in a different sense.

watching the van drive away, something inside him settles. when he walked into the interrogation room that day he thought this was the beginning of the end. it’s not the end at all, not an end to anything. it’s a continuation of their story. maybe, he thinks, a beginning to a new era in it

[crazylittlejester]

sky headcanons?? please?

thanks

i gotchu anon 🫡

- Remlits absolutely love him, and he adores them. They’re such little guys and he’s absolutely fallen asleep in the pumpkin patch with one or two sleeping on top of him

- See he has the sweetest little face and the biggest most innocent eyes, but there are evil little shit thoughts in there. And he gets away with it every fucking time because people who don’t know him super well look at him and see a head empty sweetheart, and are just oblivious to the boiling rage and mischievous tendencies he’s got in there. Even people who DO know him tend to not fully get on his ass for pranks because his little “🥺 i’ve done nothing wrong in my life ever” face is just so damn convincing

- Sky wakes up every goddamn day and choses peace for the safety of hyrule (kingdom). He wakes up every morning and is like “peace and love” because if he didn’t actively choose to be the kindest man on earth, people would die. Like Ganon would just give up and go home. (He’s giving Unikitty from the lego movie)

- When he gets mad, and I don’t mean “Oh they’re making fun of my ass stamina haha” slightly upset, I mean when he gets FURIOUS the people around him can literally feel it in the fucking air and it’s unnerving as hell because at first glance, Sky does not seem like anything other than just Some Guy. He looks like some Normal Dude. But he has somethin’ weird going on with him and the sheer power he holds (that is just a part of who he is) literally crackles in the air whenever he feels extreme emotions, and his most extreme emotion is usually anger (though one time he was super excited about something and he did hug Legend and Legend could’ve SWORN he got shocked, but Sky didn’t say anything about it and it could’ve just been static electricity so he brushed it off). It’s not really something you can SEE, but it’s definitely something you can feel in the ground beneath you, in the air around you, and it’s making all the hairs on your neck and arms stand up

- His pack is full of a bunch of very tiny wooden flowers he intends to give to Sun because he carves one whenever he thinks of her. He went to so many places and saw so many things, and yeah he was fighting for his life the whole time, but he had more of a chance to see the beauty of what was around him than Sun did. And while yeah she can just go see it now, he likes carving her pretty little things he sees on his journey so he can share some of that with her

- He has a LOT of anxiety surrounding like, not getting enough done or not finishing things on time. He hates sitting around doing nothing and he gets very stressed if he can’t complete something before the deadline he’s set for himself, whether it’s an important large scale thing that effects other people as well or just some little hobby he has. Hs gets very anxious when he’s late and/or feeling rushed (mostly due to always being JUST too late to catch up to Zelda and also the silent realms)

- Related to that, when he’s stressed and rushing, it’s VERY hard for him to stop and take a breath and slow down. He’s able to acknowledge that will help, but he physically can’t do it. When he’s overwhelmed and feeling that “you’re too late, you’re not fast enough” shit, he literally can’t slow down, he only goes faster. Which isn’t good at all because his mind works much quicker than he does and then he just gets frustrated with himself for being physically incapable of moving and faster, and for getting exhausted. Someone either has to make him sit down and stop (in situations where they can, like minor scale things like Sky’s hobbies, or just situations where someone’s life isn’t in danger), or they have to help him finish whatever he’s doing because otherwise he literally won’t stop

[youcouldmakealife]

SOTM: Lourdes Family, David; family traditons

For the prompt: Jake's sisters slowly warming up to David

The problem with Nat and David, Allie decides early on, is that they’re too alike. Not in most ways, really — she doesn’t think they’d agree on much when it comes to their taste in media, or hobbies, or any of that, and she’s sure they’d both be surprised if she said they were similar at all.

But Allie knows Nat better than she knows herself, probably, and she’s made an attempt at getting to know David, because she knows how important it is to Jake, and some of the things that make Natalie Nat to her seem to be pretty similar to the things that make David David.

They’re both quiet, but it’s not shyness with either of them, though it can seem like it unless you know them. As often as not, Nat’s quiet because silently dismantling whatever’s being said in her head, about to spring it on whatever poor unsuspecting person just claimed they ‘could care less’ or called a pterodactyl a dinosaur or something that matters to nobody but Nat. 

Though mostly she doesn’t actually say it to them — unless they’re family, she corrects Allie all the time, and poor Jakey doesn’t stand a chance — she’s saying it as an aside to Allie, or recalling it later ,‘my co-worker thought Babylon was a mythological place, and when I said 'oh yeah, like Bethlehem?' he said 'yeah, exactly!'’ or ‘If I hear someone use literally when they mean figuratively one more time, Allie, I swear I'm going to snap’. 

She’s quiet, and sometimes she seems checked out, but she’s always paying attention to what everyone else is saying. Allie’s learned it’s the same with David — she’ll mention something and then nine months later David will have gotten her a Christmas present based on her offhand comment. Or he’ll ask if she wants the same drink as last time, last time being like, six months ago. Allie doesn’t know if he’s got that kind of memory for everybody, or if it’s just because she’s Jake’s sister, and he’s still trying to impress all of them, but, well — consider her impressed, she guesses.

But also, she’s pretty sure he’s also picking up on the mistakes everybody else makes, except instead of ‘Allie, let me tell you the misspelled bumper sticker I saw today’, she isn’t hearing shit from him. She doesn’t think Jake is either, at least if the people making mistakes are them. And they probably are. Allie has no illusions that she makes no mistakes: if she did, Nat would have beaten that belief out of her by now.

“He thinks he’s better than us,” Nat complained once, and Allie pressed her lips together very tightly, and she didn’t say a thing, and frankly, she thinks she deserves a medal for that.

As similar as David can be to Nat, he’s absolutely nothing like Jake. If Allie was asked to list their similarities, it’d be like — ‘very athletic white dudes around the same age’, and then a bunch of hockey specific things. Beyond that, she’s got nothing. It isn’t just their personalities — they have completely different taste in everything. Different priorities, outside of similar career ones. Some overlapping friends, but Allie just attributes that to Jake being able to make friends with a table leg if he wants to. They could not be less alike.

Allie’s never been a big believer in the whole ‘opposites attract’ thing, but honestly, maybe she should be: mom and dad are a pretty good example of it, and Jake and David seem to bring out the best in each other.

It took Allie a little while to come to terms with them getting back together, but she can’t deny that Jake seems to grow when he’s around David. Maturity wise, but he also just seems to stand up straighter, like just being around David makes him more alert, or aware, or maybe even self-confident, though that’s never been something he's lacked.

It probably isn’t just David he’s like that with — Allie hasn’t seen him around the Panthers too much, but he is the captain, after all — but either way, it’s a nice thing to see Jake grown up.

He’s still the baby to her, will probably always be the baby to her — anyone she put in pigtails and pulled around in a little red wagon while telling everyone to look at her pretty little dolly is going to be a baby to her forever, let’s face it — but for all that he’s been taller than her since he was twelve, he felt like a kid to her the whole way to the show, and for awhile after. He doesn’t feel like a kid anymore. Baby, sure, he's always going to be that, but not a kid. 

If anything, David feels more like one. Not that he’s childish, or immature, or whatever, because Allie suspects he wasn’t even childish when he was an actual child. Maybe more someone suddenly immersed in a foreign culture — he doesn’t know where he’s supposed to be, what he’s supposed to do, what the hell is up with the wishbone thing. 

She’s seen Jake explain things to him, the traditions she thought everyone did, and the traditions that are very Lourdes specific, the way mom gives extra mashed potatoes if you're a suck up, and how if people don’t take turns opening presents it turns into a free-for-all, and how nobody actually eats the cranberry sauce.

When Jake isn’t there to do it — rare, but the dude does need bathroom breaks — Allie figures it’s no skin off her nose to do it instead, and she even overhears Nat doing it once, though  she might have just been venting about someone saying dumb shit again. She does love to do that. 

The important thing is that he keeps showing up, even though he’s uncomfortable every single time — though maybe Allie’s imagining it, but she thinks he’s reached the ‘almost comfortable’ stage this Christmas, like, maybe feeling a little awkward, but no more than anyone else would, spending Christmas with his boyfriend’s family.  Maybe more than someone typically would if they’ve been doing it every year, but Allie knows they can be a lot, that most people have trouble keeping up with the rapid back and forth — even Jake gets left behind sometimes, then pouty when they start tease him about it.

David was a wide-eyed spectator, the first few times he saw that. Jake told Allie later that he didn’t hear the fondness in it, just the mockery, got defensive on Jake’s behalf. Allie doesn’t know how he’s survived locker rooms for so long — their love language is basically just mockery and punching each other in sensitive places, at least judging by Jake and his teammates back in the day. Probably now too. She’s met Cody Gallagher, unfortunately.

He takes it better now though, even joined in yesterday when everyone was shit-talking Jake’s recent stab at growing facial hair, while Jake tried and failed to defend himself through giggles. On the one hand, Allie’s just glad it isn’t a mustache, but on the other hand, maybe he’d do a better job with that. This morning, Jake comes down to breakfast clean-shaven. Allie isn’t delusional: he didn’t shave it because his sisters gave him shit. That was all David.

“High five,” Allie says when David joins them downstairs, and she’s half expecting a quizzical look, maybe even the ‘what the hell are the Lourdes talking about now’ one that surfaces sometimes, but instead she gets a tiny smile and a high five.

“I’m sitting right here, guys,” Jake says, but once again, he’s laughing.

[iveneverdoneanythingwrong]

Porsche would make a great Head of the Minor Family

So I was starting my 579042th KinnPorsche rewatch and had gotten to one specific scene in Episode 1 when it hit me: Porsche is really the only character in the show suitable to run the Minor Family (Vegas fans, don't @ me, I will explain).

Let's take stock of the lay of the land and the major players:

(Warning: image and gif heavy)

The Major Family

The Major Family can mostly be summed up in one word: Corporate. The survival and profitability of The Family is the overarching goal of this organization and as such, each person not literally in the Family cannot really be irreplaceable and no one can afford to think they are. Individuality is not encouraged in service to the Major Family. All the bodyguards wear the same western style uniform (though most will have a small spin on it). They live in a cult-like atmosphere (another meta entirely) and are always at work even when not on duty. Their ability to interact with the outside world is controlled by the family, their hobbies, their food, their associations, their ability to express themselves, their very being is controlled by the family; absolutely no distractions. They are in an hierarchy so rigidly enforced that Chan only has to raise his voice to regain control when things get a tiny bit rowdy with the introduction of Porsche.

The Minor Family

The Minor Family is basically a gang. They're not regimented. They wear their own clothes. They have women in skin tight dresses hanging around. They have open access to the outside world. They drink alcohol while in the compound, they slouch and relax and play games. They might be able to work well together, but in no way could they accomplish any kind of long term plan or cooperate with the Major Family (who give them legal cover) without a strong hand.

Which is provided by Gun, who presents himself as one of them - the clothes, the dinning table in the court yard, the shared meals, the relaxed atmosphere when not actually on duty. But though he plays at some kind of equality, his people know that he views them as expendable. They live in a cognitive dissonance where their everyday experiences say they are Family and appreciated, but know that this is only a façade. We only see it once, but even just approaching Gun with the very welcome news of his hated brother's death is immediately met with the smiling physical abuse that he hands out at even imaginary signs of disrespect.

The Heirs

Gun has taught this form of management to Vegas, who plays up to Porsche about caring for his bodyguards and then forcibly uses them as literal meat shields during the coup. We see absolutely no relationships between Vegas and his guards at all. Vegas would have to unlearn all he's been taught by his father, completely remap his relationship with his employees, and work together closely and amicably with the Major Family, who he has be taught his entire life to see as the enemy. All of these things would take years in therapy to accomplish.

Contrasted with Kinn who perpetuates the cult due to his father's manipulations but breaks it regularly once Porsche's arrival reminds him of his own personality and management style. Not only does he know that Pete has a grandmother, he even has her number in his phone. He goes to Pete for advice for how to talk to Porsche, and doesn't seem uncomfortable at the idea that he would need help from an employee. He indulges Arm bugging his suit on Porsche's behest. He protects his own bodyguards in the coup. (Is Kinn an idiot? Quite probably, yes.)

Porsche

Porsche from a young age was basically forced to be head of his own family. Sure, he had an "uncle" there, but he did basically nothing. Porsche has been responsible not only for the goals of the family but also for the means of attaining those goals.

He wasn't regimented, like Korn, and he also wasn't abusive, like Gun. In fact, he was very lax in his family, with only one overarching boundary that we can confirm: loyalty. It doesn't seem matter how much you fuck up, so long as you remain loyal to him and his. You don't have to actually contribute much of anything to earn his affection, his protection, or a place at his table. You just have to not fuck him over.

And that's why Porsche would make a fantastic Minor Family head. Thee himself admits he wasn't any use to Porsche growing up. He "invested" all the money in "crypto", which Porsche sees as just a mistake. It put the family at risk, it made it much harder for Porsche to achieve his goals, but it wasn't done maliciously so Porsche is content to let it go and still let Thee try to be useful in other ways.

Until Porsche discovers that Thee has been lying to them. Thee has betrayed Porsche and Chay. He has not had their best interest in mind and just been making mistakes. He's been actively, knowingly, making things worse. And the scene that showed it all was this one, where Porsche goes from this:

to this:

Even as a civilian, Porsche demonstrates the mindset necessary to run a Family, and not just any Family but specifically the Minor Family. Unlike Gun, Porsche is easy going. He is relaxed. He will also absolutely cut his uncle off with nothing at the first betrayal.

He's is absolutely the type to eat with his employees as close to equal as social positions allow and actually mean it. The gaslighting atmosphere of the Minor Family under Gun would be truth under Porsche. He would treat them as Family so long as they maintained their loyalty. Within weeks of being introduced, Porsche managed to turn at least some Main Family bodyguards (the closest and most trusted!) into his assets. Pete volunteered for a very dangerous assignment to protect Porsche.

Arm assisted Porsche not only in spying on his boss, but also in coming up with codes and protocol for Porsche's benefit in case Kinn does something Porsche doesn't want. Pol and Arm eavesdrop on a meeting not only with Kinn but with Korn and relay the contents of that meeting to other bodyguards we haven't met because they were so invested in Porsche's love story.

Since Porsche has been kidnapped into the mafia, he been trained and had his moral boundaries violated expanded in relation to violence. He already had the ability to bring out loyalty in people just by being himself and now he has an innate understanding of the fine line between I'm Not Mad, Just Disappointed and violence as boundary-setting, which I think would make for even more cultish fanaticism from his men than Korn's studied manipulations.

Thankfully he has a loyalty to Kinn that could never happen with Vegas, making them an absolute power couple of the Thai underworld.

[xerith-42]

Redesign the Nine

[This post is very long. Just a heads up.]

I'm a member of the Jury of Redesign, proud member of fleshing out previously left to rot or forgotten content. It's a hobby. A passion. I have and will continue to go into entire novellas to describe the inter personal relationships of characters we know next to nothing about, but what about characters we know literally nothing about?

We know only 6 members of the total 9 that belong to the Jury. Technically seven if you include Garroth, but that last for like twelve seconds, that doesn't count. And one of them is only made known as a member in Rebirth (which I really like and I like Rebirth). That means there's three entire characters just waiting to happen! How have I never thought of this before?!

This idea really struck me when I was looking at the Jo9 wiki page and saw this comment

The rest of the comment goes on to their whole theory about Ein killing Blaze, but I am mostly against the idea of killing Blaze because nobody ever gives it enough story significance, weight, and meaning. Only I get to kill Blaze, you all lost your privileges.

That's not what's important though. What's important is that I actually love Teony and Ein. I think they're some of the most wasted Aphverse characters, and that's saying something considering how I literally never shut up about Blaze. So let's flesh them out in a... different setting.

Teony

I imagine Teony being in a very similar situation to Katelyn and Jeffory. She has someone she deeply cares about that Zane knows about and is threatening to put in danger. For Jeffory and Katelyn, it was family. For Teony, it's similar, but just a slight flavor different. A gay flavor different.

Teony belongs to a high ranking noble family in O'Khasis, like one step below the Ro'meave family. Originally the plan was for her to be married off to one of the Ro'meave heirs (probably Zane), but then she did something weird. She uhh... She started training to be a guard. And got strong enough fast enough that nobody could really stop her because Teony would just challenge them to a round of armed combat about it despite being literally 12.

So she was allowed to go to guard academy and go through full training. She was never going to be a lord, and she could still easily join the Jury and serve the same purpose with less arranged marriage. Also if they tried to arrange Teony into a marriage she might just pull a sword on them about it. She learned very quickly that her parents wouldn't be allowed to abuse or control her if they feared her. Caused a different kind of trauma compared to the other children of nobles.

And then she found out she was gay. While she was at the academy the person who was writing the Jury recruitment list was the newest member of the Jury herself; Ivy the Venom Scythe. Teony fell in unending sapphic love from first sight. Even if she had become wise to her parents controlling nature in search of power, she still respected and revered the Ro'meave family, and the Jury of Nine. She was set up for it, and she wanted that. And now that she was finally experiencing love for a member of the Jury of Nine.

As always, things in Teony's life were set up for perfection. And she was such an overachiever, are you kidding me? Top ranks in all her classes even though she didn't need to. She would half ass it sometimes and still get the highest scores on every test. When she put her all into something, there wasn't any competition. She was just showing off for Ivy, and she did not hide that in the slightest. Ivy was fully aware that Teony was not only showing off, she knew that Teony was in love, or at least lust with her. Teony is not subtle at all, it's just not a concept to her yet.

On the last day of her training at the academy, Zane Ro'meave himself shows up. I imagine Zane and Teony were almost sort of childhood friends. Zane didn't really like having friends, but he and Teony were personable and able to get along when they were forced to spend time together by their parents. He has a sort of fondness for Teony in a "I'll see where you're going with this" sense. He's heard how passionate she is about fighting and being a guard. And he knows it's not for a violent sake, but because of that nobility that is her bloodline and the baseline of her identity as a person.

She may be overzealous, she may be a know-it-all, she may be a show-off, but Teony always fights with honor. She always showers her classmates a great amount of dignity and respect when they fight her. To her combat is an art form, one that she takes very seriously. She won't attack unless provoked, and more often than not will just skip the talking it out phase and just jump to the dueling stage because that's the part she understands best.

She's autistic. That's what I'm saying. Teony is an autistic lesbian. Look at her go! However, Zane is terrible and evil and so is Ivy. When telling him the candidates, he brings up that Teony is a no brainier. Which is when Ivy tells him that Teony is in love with her and was fighting to earn her attention. She willingly threw away some of her nobility in the name of love. Which means she can do it again if provoked to.

What better way to provoke her than to give it to her and then threaten to take it away? Zane and Ivy literally manipulate Teony, putting her on the Jury, assigning her to work with Ivy, and Ivy starts actively feeding into it in a rather coy way just to drag her along. And right when Teony is ready to fess up, her parents show up at the Ro'meave manner. Teony remembers what they expect of her. That they don't know the truth about her.

She knows beyond a shadow of a doubt they'd disown her. Jury members aren't supposed to have family anyway. For a minute she thinks about outing herself to sever her ties. But then she learns that her mother is pregnant again. She... She has a little sister on the way. And if she cuts ties with her family now, she'll never get to meet her. She doesn't know Zane invited them at first, but when he talks to her later, she pieces it all together.

Zane says he'll let her family live, even let them be known as her family if she wants, but she isn't allowed to be with Ivy in any non-professional manner. Otherwise she'll give herself away, and while he doesn't exactly threaten it, Zane makes it very clear he will out Teony to her parents if she doesn't do as he orders from now until the end of time. It's then that Teony realizes she's trapped. She went from one gilded cage to another.

Until it got to be too much for her. Remember how Jeffory was apparently on the Demon Warlock Island in Gal'ruk? And it was literally never explained. What if he was there to find her? What if it became too much for Teony after meeting her sister, and she ran away? Zane doesn't know what happened when Teony met with her younger sister, but it was enough to shake her that she barely responded to Zane's taunting when she returned. And then she left that night.

Jeffory was sent to follow her trail. And he actually found her before she managed to break the Demon Warlocks curse. On a completely different continent, no guard escorts, and no way that Zane can hear them, they talk openly. They confide in one another. And they work together, as friends, to break the curse and get themselves back home. Teony moves to a different island in Gal'ruk, and tells Jeffory to give Ivy a letter the next time he sees her.

And he's not allowed to let it leave his hands unless it's Ivy taking it. No messengers. No leaving it somewhere she'll find it. Jeffory never learned the contents of that letter, but he did manage to deliver it to Ivy. Only she and Teony knows what's contained in those pages.

(Final note, idk what her funny anime villain name or her weapons would be. I would love council/jury/anyone to give input here. Same for the next member)

Ein

Ein being a big heroic softie is the best thing ever to me you don't understand.

Much like the doll anon, this anon changed my life. I love this idea so much. Listen, I like unrelentingly evil characters, just look at Zane. But that's the thing. Zane's already there. And so is Janus. And Ivy. And probably Lilian. And another character I've yet to get to. And even more characters when we get out of the Jury. We need more innocence that becomes corrupted in the Jury, everyone likes being evil too much.

So I want to make Ein a big ol' softie. He grew up in the Brightport Wolf Tribe with his best friend eventually turned lover Blaze. They mostly stayed within the confines of their tribe, which was small, but spacious enough for two wolf children prone to rough housing to get their energy sufficiently out. It was only when they were older that they started waking up to the... less than ideal circumstances of their relationship.

After being friends and being incredibly close and physically affectionate, when the two started thinking about mating and all that dumb romantic nonsense, it just made sense that they would be with each other in that way too. It's how they got through everything else in life. It was at the ruiner and creator of gay romances, that Irene forsaken Guard Academy that things got... worse.

Because Ein is definitely a very well rounded fighter. He's decently studious, wanting to keep up on speaking both the werewolf language and the more common language, and making sure that Blaze does the same. But Blaze finds these things to be dreadfully boring and doesn't put in more effort than Ein makes him. This is fine when they were kids and their plans weren't more ambitious than protecting their tribe. But their Alpha wanted to see if humans and werewolves could truly get along.

If anyone could prove that werewolves are just as human as they are, it would be these two dorks. But uhh, people are racist. And homophobic. So it doesn't go great. Couple that with the fact that the academy prioritizes individual excellence over collective greatness and suddenly things are just doomed to go wrong for these two. Ein naturally excels, and Blaze who's used to having someone to rely on starts falling behind without the consistent support system.

That was his emotional support nerdy jack of all trades boyfriend! How could you take that away from him? And Ein is stripped of his absolutely pure of heart dumb of ass boyfriend. They don't even get to stay in the same bunks as each other, and barely have any classes together. It's just awful. But Ein finds... something else. After doing particualrly well on a certain test, one of the teachers pulls him aside and tells Ein he might be able to qualify for the Jury of Nine position. Or at least be their bench warmer.

Ein's ambitions in life never went too far beyond the borders of their childhood home. He was the one who always pressured Blaze into going further than they were allowed, but Blaze was easily convinced anyways. But Ein was always an ambitious person. He just didn't know enough about the world to realize them. The highest he'd ever gone was thinking "Wow, it'd be cool to be the Alpha." And like that's it.

Suddenly he's told that if he somehow gets better than he already is he could hold one of the highest positions in the entire fucking continent. It's a no brainier. He has to go for it. He doesn't realize it means he's only being further isolated, pulled away from his few meet ups with Blaze to study, to practice, to do something that only a top student does and a near drop out student doesn't.

In fact the last time they see each other is, like with Teony, the day before the Jury posting for their class. Ein is sure he's on that list. Maybe not the top spot, but defiantly in the top five. Just as he's about to go introduce himself to Zane Ro'meave, try and make a good impression to sweeten his chances, he gets intercepted by Blaze.

Who just hands him a letter. And he whispers a single word under his breath as he's leaving; "Goodbye."

Ein reads the letter immediately, heartbroken to read that Blaze flunked out and is going back home without him. Blaze says he's proud of Ein for being able to go so far, and hopes he gets on the Jury. Ein knows he's lying. He tries to chase after Blaze, to try and make it up to him, but then suddenly Zane's there. He's caught Ein in a dangerously vulnerable moment, and while Ein manages to recover, he never gets the chance to wipe the tears from his eyes.

He never learns what rank he got on the Jury list. Just that he was one of the two who were filling vacant seats from this class. It's painfully bitter sweet. It's everything Ein wanted, but he realized that he never made room for Blaze in these dreams of grandeur. He tried to help Blaze at first, but Blaze eventually rejected his offers. And Ein couldn't even blame him. He'd been ignoring and neglecting the most important relationship in his life. And if Ein keeps going down this path, he realizes he'll destroy it even more.

In spite of that, he accepts the invitation and starts working as a Jury member for Zane. One month into his stay at the Ro'meave Manor as Zane's personal body guard, Zane asks him an odd question. A name he's apparently heard Ein muttering to himself and in his sleep. "Blaze."

Ein tries to say it's nothing, just an old friend he was thinking of reaching out to. That's when Zane makes it clear that Ein has absolutely no control here. Because he saw what happened between them. He asks if this old friend happened to be the one that gave him "that love letter". Ein tries to find it where he keeps it tucked into his armor, but Zane is holding it. He knows everything. And he's known the entire time he's had Ein in the Jury. It was all a test of loyalty.

If he reaches out to Blaze, he will fail. And again, Zane doesn't directly state what the penalty is, but he makes it abundantly clear that it's death for both Ein and Blaze. Ein was always easiest controlled when he was isolated. After this he was only paired up with two members of the Jury Zane trusted enough. Lilian, and the last member of the Jury. We'll get to him in a second.

As a result, Ein desired but never sought freedom. He knew Blaze was capable of a great life, he had a future, and was probably going on incredible adventures without him. He never forgot where he came from, and who he accidentally left behind. When Zane and Lilian disappeared... Ein was set free. His leash was just dropped for the first time. Mr. Mysterious wasn't even there to pick it up.

And he ran straight home.

There's only one threat that's unknowingly standing in the way of Ein's happiness. And his name is

Zachary the Plague

Nobody knows where the title came from. They don't want to. Zachary is one of the oldest members, sometimes referred to as the "shadow member" of the Jury. He's rarely seen, and scarily little is known about him.

And that's because he doesn't directly work for Zane. Unlike the others, who were all put under Zane's command after the other Ro'meave heirs died, Zachary stayed under the command of Garte. He did work for Zane here and there, Garte didn't get out much and was content to leave it all to Zane. And Zachary took a liking to Ein when they met, and when he requested that Ein train under him for some time, Zane wasn't in a position to object.

The only people who would be able to give more insight into Zachary are Garte, Janus, and Ein. Garte won't talk. Ever. Zachary is his most trusted guard, and that is all anyone needs to know. Janus just says they respect Zachary. It says enough given what it's known that Janus values. Ein freezes when he hears the name. Even when he says it.

He's only told Blaze what he knows, and neither one will willingly give up this information. He's a quiet fear in the back of Ein's mind, but Zachary stayed with Garte. Even when Zane disappeared, he stayed with Garte. He was never relieved of his duties officially or unofficially. The reason he abandoned Ein is because Garte told him to. He always followed orders.

It's unknown where he or Garte are now.

[deathofacupid]

we've still not come to a decision | peter parker

this post is a part of a series called "but you're the one i want"! click here to read parts one, two, three and four!

ask to be added to the taglist, and check out my full masterlist here...

reblog, like, and comment <3

summary: summary: you've fallen in love with peter, and the worst part? you can't. not when you know you must be with someone else.

warning: cursing, talk of character death, minor angst, this is mostly a filler chapter (lemme know if i missed any)

sorry for any typos!

pairing: peter parker x fem!reader (this is in 3rd person!)

word count: 2.5k+ words

y/n

y/n laid in her bed, right next to her was a tub of ice cream. well, half a tub of ice cream. mint chocolate was always the answer.

almost always the answer. just not today. not right now. she'd kissed peter. kind of. ish. did that even count as a kiss? a peck, maybe? it had been two days since she had seen peter, given it was monday. also because she was dead terrified of seeing him.

she had come to a conclusion.

she liked peter benjamin parker. loved?

no, no, no.

yes.

yes.

yes.

she was in so deep. so fast.

y/n rolled over on her stomach, letting out a groan of frustration, seeing that the ice cream was half melted.

and maybe, just maybe, because she didn't want to like him. peter was awesome, don't get her wrong. but she didn't want to mess up their relationship. y/n wasn't even sure if she was ready for something serious.

to be honest, she'd never been in something serious before. she had flings all the time. hookups were just hookups. well, she had stopped with that recently to focus on her job.

but... there was this one guy. her dad's best friend's son. y/n's father hadn't ever told her to do much. he was strict about grades, but that was all. he had let her do whatever she wanted, as long as she was on the right path.

whatever hobbies. whatever college. whatever job.

only one thing. only one thing he was rather adamant about. her father's dying wish. the first time he had told y/n, she had instantly refused, telling him she would do anything else. just not this. once he had gotten severely sick, it was clear that this was all he wanted. so, she finally agreed.

agreed to having an arranged marriage with spencer barcon.

they were childhood friends, and she doubted she would be able to see him as anything else. besides, peter probably didn't want to date someone who already had a finalized marriage.

more than anything, she didn't want to marry spencer. but how could she refuse her father?

she already knew that he liked her like that. in fact, she was almost positive that he had asked his father to ask her father to get married. and her father agreed. because spencer was rich. and he could "support" her.

y/n frowned. she could very much so support herself. she didn't need financial help. she knew what would happen if she got married to him. y/n would become a some housewife, stuck at home.

y/n would have to quit her job and she didn't want that. that wasn't freedom.

she was stuck. completely, utterly, stuck. and there wasn't a way out of this mess that her heart tangled itself in.

her phone buzzed and she flinched before picking it up to read the text.

please don't be peter. please don't be peter. please don't be peter.

it wasn't peter!

those bitches 🙄

cindy mindy moon i've literally been meaning to ask you all week

cindy mindy moon who tf is that boy and don't you dare say no one

cindy mindy moon i saw the way you were eye fcking him don't even with me rn

priyacorn boys?? there are boys now??

priyacorn and eye fcking?? no one told be about these events i demand answers right now

dumbassoncrack omg i'm not doing this

cindy mindy moon yes you are

priyacorn moon yes you are

dumbassoncrack there's nothing to say

dumbassoncrack ok maybe there is

dumbassoncrack but it doesn't matter anyways remember

dumbassoncrack if you've forgotten, there's this guy named spencer who i have to marry so

priyacorn ooh drama i like it

priyacorn wait who is it

cindy mindy moon it's this guy named peter who she's always shamelessly flirting with i mean u should've seen her

clairebear it doesn't matter u can still date him just don't tell abt spencer

cindy mindy moon that sounds badass but not in this context

cindy mindy moon don't do that y/n/n

priyacorn fr if u date him u gotta tell him

clairebear why's it matter

clairebear u play boys all the time this isn't any different

dumbassoncrack used to

clairebear but he's like dead so it doesn't matter

dumbassoncrack so is your mom but i see you following her footsteps

that’s what she wanted to say. but she said this instead;

dumbassoncrack claire, he’s my dad. and i made a promise.

claire bear so?

priyacorn stop claire

cindy mindy it was her dads dying wish she can't just forget abt that

clairebear idk what u want me to say then

cindy mindy meet me in the cafe in 15 we'll talk in person

priyacorn yea good chance to get the deets

dumbassoncrack ew did you just say deets

priyacorn yes I did and shamelessly so

priyacorn see u lovelies

dumbassoncrack fine read at 1:36pm

y/n sighed and turn off her phone with a click. she knew she was in a tough situation, but what was there to do? it's not like she had much of a choice. maybe her friends could give her some insight. plus, it was a nice excuse to meet up, she'd been so busy lately, and hadn't gotten much free time. well, she had some, but she was busy moping around during that time.

and spending it with peter.

she dragged herself out of bed, throwing the lid on the tub of ice cream. she trudged out to the kitchen and tossed the tub in the freezer. with a huff, she entered the bathroom, putting her hair up into a messy bun. 

she washed her face and brushed her teeth, before venturing into the closet to find something to wear. of course she wanted to look nice, but she didn't really feel like putting that effort in. she settled on a sage green pullover and black jeans, adding a couple bracelets.

y/n did some winged eyeliner, mascara, and concealer before giving up on trying anything else. it didn't really matter, it was just her friends.

she swung a purse over her shoulder and slipped on some black doc martins. stretching once again, she left the apartment, locking the door behind her.

the walk there was only 10 minutes, so there wasn't any point in getting a cab. plus, with all the traffic, the car ride would probably extend the time.

stupid feelings. stupid spencer. stupid peter.

i've fallen in love with someone i can't.

but what if...? what if claire was right? maybe she could date peter, and then break up with him before she got married. that didn't seem like such a bad idea. but then she would have to come up with a good excuse, and she didn't think that there were any good excuses for something like that. 

the entire walk she had been distracted. distracted with thoughts about peter. but she somehow managed to only get almost run over twice, and to her that was an accomplishment.

when she finally got there, her friends were sitting inside at a table, chatting their butts off. well, all of them except claire. she was awkwardly playing with her straw wrapper, as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. she mumbled a greeting and plopped down on an empty chair.

"i'm glad you took your time," cindy frowned, but there was a happy gleam in her eyes.

y/n shrugged.

priya smiled, "hey, y/n/n, we got your drink for you!"

"thanks."

"okay, now spill." pri demanded, and cindy nodded along.

"all the deets,” she added, making y/n roll her eyes lovingly.

claire paid literally no mind, scrolling through her phone.

"wait, wait! do you have a picture?" the indian squealed.

"i think so. i'm pretty we took a couple selfies," she remembered, pulling out her phone. the two girls squealed, and y/n rolled her eyes.

"hey, i gotta go. i'll see you."

"already?"

"but claire, you only just got here."

y/n didn't even bother, she wasn't even sure why the girls were surprised, she did this half the time anyways. she found a good picture and showed it to priya and cindy. claire glanced at it, pulling her jacket on.

claire had a certain look on her face.

"what's wrong?" she asked.

"i know him. he went to midtown with me. peter, right? yeah, peter parker. i think we had math together. i can't believe you like him."

"why?"

"...he's a freaking nerd. your standards have to be higher than that."

"maybe he's just my type. i dunno."

"your type? and what's that supposed to be? losers? honestly, just marry spencer. he's so much better. maybe he can keep your life together. that's probably why your dad set you up for him anyways."

y/n pushed her chair back, and got up quickly, slamming her drink down. "i'm sorry, keep my life together? i don't need someone to make those decisions for me. especially not you."

"guys? people are watching!" priya exclaimed, trying to get their attention.

"just some advice. you literally have a fucking millionaire in front of you."

"um- maybe-" cindy started, trying to calm them both down.

"are you serious? you want me to take advice from you? hilarious. get your love life together first. richard's going behind your back fucking a different girl everyday, and you're too desperate to even realize it, obviously you get the delusional genes from your mom."

all three girls shut up, surprised at what she had said. she'd always dealt with claire's backlash against her, even when she went too far, making remarks on her body, insecurities, and whatnot. no one was quite sure how to take it.

one of the waitresses walked up to them, "i'm gonna have to ask you to leave, you guys are being very loud."

"fucking fine by me," claire scoffed, visibly trying to push tears back.

"claire, i..." y/n started. wait, why was she apologizing? she had only stood up for herself. kind of. maybe she could have been less harsh. she shouldn't have brought up her mom. she watched as claire stormed out, but for the first time, no one went after her. the young l/n girl simply stood there in shock.

all through middle school they had been a group. and visibly, claire was always the leader. she might not have had her way with her looks, but her bold personality and confidence lead her to be popular. cindy was the quiet one, and priya had always been bubbly and bright. she was just... y/n. there wasn't anything special about her.

all three of them, bound so tight as best friends, maybe even as sisters because they could act the part. until the last two years of high school. claire had met this new boy named richard, and she was head over heels for him. she couldn't see that he was bad news. not in the way y/n was.

he only kept claire around for his disgusting fantasies, and the worst part? she was in denial. everyday her friends would tell her to stay away from him, and everyday she would yell at them, saying the two were in love. at one point, they just gave up. richard had changed her, in ways she couldn't have ever expected.

priya shook she lightly, snapping her back into reality. she hadn't even noticed the hot tears that were streaming down her face. she swiped them away, looking up to see the waitress glaring at the expectantly. she murmured a sorry and grabbed her empty cup, tossing it out, and walking away from the cafe.

"y/n! wait up!" priya yelled, running after her. it took cindy a moment, but she followed after.

y/n stopped by a lake, not quite yet frozen over. she sat down there, pulling her knees to her chest.

priya dropped down next to her, bringing her in for a hug. cindy did the same.

"she's never gonna talk to me ever again."

"hey, hey, you don't know that. maybe she needs time to cool down. but i'm proud of you, standing up for yourself like that. i know there were better ways to handle that, but i know she hasn't been treating you how you deserve," priya smiled.

"now that she's gone, we have some peace. wanna tell her about what i saw in the cafe?" cindy wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

she laughed, rolling her eyes playfully. cindy's phone rang, and she checked her smartwatch to see who it was. y/n got a glimpse of it and frowned a bit.

"you should take that."

"no, i'm here right now for you. you're more important."

"it's okay, moon. take it."

"you sure?"

"yes!"

cindy got up and took it. the two girls listened in on the one side that could hear.

"yes? ...what? ...i'm in the middle of-... oh god, of course he did. fine, fine! i'll be there- no, yes... no? we can talk about friday night later, mj. no... i'm not busy. d-da-... yes! of course! can't wait!" she ended the call and and back over.

"oh my god! date? with michelle? you go, girl!" y/n cheered hyping her friend.

cindy blushed and nodded. "yeah, but we deal with my love life after yours. okay? josh set the coffee machine on fire somehow, and now i have to go over and deal with it. but, but! i won't go unless you let me. you guys are much more important to me."

"go, cind, it's fine. really."

"you sure?"

"yes! go, love, jeez!”

she smiled and ran off, desperately waving down a cab and hopping in it. she smiled at her and faced priya. she had to admit, out of them all, she was the closest to priya, and she was glad that pri was there for her. 

"tell me about peter. what's he like?" she inquired, in a sweet in loving voice. it felt warm, and it reminded her of her dad. 

"he's really sweet. and funny. he works with me at the daily bugle. he's the head photographer which is awesome. i like working with him, it makes my job more exciting and fun. i never get bored with him. he's always trying to make me laugh or smile. remember the clock tower incident? about two or three years ago, i think. i'm not sure."

"yeah, i do. poor girl."

"that was peter's girlfriend." she spoke quietly, as those words held a gravity of sadness. 

"really? i feel so bad. that must have been a lot."

"i know. it's hard, things like that. his uncle ben died, too. but i'm not sure how, i didn't want to pry or anything, you know?"

"you guys are really similar. i wish you didn't have to marry spencer."

"me too."

"cause i would have totally taken him," y/n turned to priya, giving her a look.

"what about luke? have you told him yet?"

"no! are you crazy?"

"you should tell him, before it's too late."

"but what if i mess everything up? i'd rather stay friends then take that risk." 

"some things are worth risking, you know that. this is one of them, he deserves to know, and you deserve to tell him. and if he says no, he's a pretentious douchebag."

"i dunno. maybe, enough about me. are you sure you're marrying spencer?

she sighed, "it's a guilt thing. i kinda have to."

"it's completely your choice. i know it's a hard decision."

"yeah, it's okay though. i have time."

"okay."

she had time. 

taglist @whatsupstark @ell0ra-br3kk3r @idli-dosa @susvale @kdbsr-h @littlemsbumblebee

[dballzposting]

Sorry I'm posting this video a third time.

This was such an awesome way to introduce them in DBS and I'm not just saying that becasue of Mr Satan's cherry red jacket.

It sets so many things straight for those of us who may have assumed that things were peaceful and rational between them ...

Buu is walking around a dark house and he's fuckingggg hungry and he doesnt know how to find his own food in that huge house so he just stalks around until he finds Mr Satan?

He THROWS the door open unflinchingly into a room of bright lights and cameras and a large audience. Not an uncommon sight and he doesnt care at all.

Buu does not see the significance of this. You may think that by now he might; that he knows of Mr Satan's hobby to appear in front of large groups of people and look nice and tell lies. But he doesn't. This is kind of Mr Satan's whole thing but it means absolutely nothing to Buu.

Most things mean nothing to Buu. He;s fucking hungry

Has Mr Satan ever tried to explain this to Buu?? "Hey when you see the cameras and the people, please just stay out of it"? Did it just not work? Maybe it just made no sense and meant nothing to Buu so Buu just discarded it.

Mr Satan scrambles to cook up a lie in front of everyone. It's a complete falsehood but to Buu standing there it's true enough. Buu would think that something just ~12% true would be true enough becasue he doesnt care. 0% true is true enough becasue he doesnt care AT ALL. He's fucking hungry

Mr Satan is banking on Buu to not deny or correct his story. This is reliable becasue Buu really isn't a stickler for those sorts of truths. The only truth he cares about is how he is feeling NOW as in RIGHT NOW. Fuck yesterday. Fuck a few years ago. Mr Satan can spin any story he wants. And it's not becasue Mr Satan and Buu have had conversations about how important it is that Mr Satan maintain this reputation. They've never talked about that. Mr Satan can say whatever he wants becasue Buu no care.

Mr Satan has to face off with Majin Buu and have a glaring contest. Mr Satan is hoping SO BAD that Buu will just do as he's told, but Buu JUST SAID that Buu hungry and that takes priority clearly. Fuck the audience fuck the cameras fuck what Mr Satan is saying fuck the tremble in Mr Satan's spine. Fuck everything it is like ants and pebbles to Buu. Buu hungry

Buu understands a NO when he hears it but he does not understand WHY and he does not stop being mad. He pushes back until he sees that Mr Satan isn't gonna back down, and at that point he blows steam out of his head to dispel his aggression enough to be able to disengage and turn around and leave. But he's still pissed. Buu stomps away and pauses at the doorway to glare over his shoulder. Fuck Mr Satan. Buu hungry. Buu go be hungry somewhere else.

Buu doesnt turn everyone to chocolate becasue Buu likes to be joyous and play games and presumably he understands now that causing misery and pain is only fun to him, and that makes it less fun overall. But he's fucking hungry. So he mostly just didnt do it becasue he has promised previously not to kill and eat people. Which is sort of arbitrary. You know what isnt arbitrary? BUU HUNGRY. He literally goes into the next room and sits down and crosses his arms about it.

THE WAY THAT MR SATAN SCUTTLES BACK WHEN BUU BLOWS STEAM ?!?? Like he's still afraid of him !?!?!?!?! Perhaps Buu is just SCARY but that doesnt mean that MR SATAN should feel scared. But I feel like Mr Satan's spine is synthetic and he has no real inner iron, and especially after the events he's lived through, his nervous system is just shot. Like many traumatized people he is able to continue on sheer force and denial but he's just so fuuucked . He is jumpy and easy to frighten. He's always kind of been that way and TBH it's kept him safe and out of danger. But he's never felt REAL strength or security or comfort. He's stuck being a scared little boy. He's still scared of Buu

NO ONE READS MR SATAN'S VERY OBVIOUS BODY LANGUAGE ?? ??? MANIACS ! ! ! !! ! !

Mr Satan is such a messssssss he goes to powder his nose & also to pee but really he just had to excuse himself AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE becasue he's scared of Buu and doesnt want him to blow up and he needs to appease him as quickly as possible. It's an exigence that Mr Satan feels. If he didnt go and do that immediately then I feel like it would have just sat in his throat like vomit. He wiould have felt faint and he would have had to go blow his ass off.

HE DEOSNT EXPLAIN ANYTHING TO BUU. Yes becasue Buu doesnt care and maybe wouldnt understand it, BUT ALSO becasue Not Exoplaining Things is VERY MUCH Mr Satan's way. I feel like he could explain things and Buu would get it. Maybe not all of it but some of it. Maybe not right now becasue hes fucking hungry and pissed but maybe it would sit in his head a while. Someone more articulate and inquisitive like Videl or Gohan would have felt the impulse to explain perplexing situations just naturally, and they would have had the tact to know their audience too; it's explainable. But Mr Satan just doesnt operate that way. FUCKKKK the truth FUCK the """situation."" FUCK five minutes ago. Fuck one minute ago. Right now he's scared and hurt and he feels Buu's pain and hunger. He doesnt think that explaining himself would soften the blow at all becasue it doesnt work that way with him; his intense emotional states just are what they are like a child's, and he thinks that others' explanations are just excuses and dirty tricks. He assumes Buu to be the same, which honestly is close enough, but if he DID explain things, then they could avoid this in the future.

Mr Satan just starts throwing items of appeasement at Buu without addressing the object of strife here. Buu sticks to his guns however and asserts himself. Buu fuckingg hungry. Mr Satan folds completely and haphazardly starts searching for chocolate, but he is no better at this than Buu is; Buu could have thrown open cabinets too. But this is more about Mr Satan tucking his tail between his legs and trying to serve than it is about food.

He fuckingg fails and calls for Videl to come clean up this mess. Buu still fucking hungry. Mr Satan does this to himself

Great video

[sketch-guardian]

Is it okay to ask if you would ever make a post about your obey me ocs personalities and what they like, they look so cool!!

Hi! I'm sorry for the late reply😖also please don't worry, it's perfectly okay to ask questions and I'm glad that you like my OCs☺that makes me very happy💕especially considering that only a few people are interested in them🙈so feel free to send asks about my OCs, I don't mind and would try to respond as soon as possible✨

In any case, I also read the second ask, so considering that I haven't written anything yet about the personality and likes of my angel OCs, this post will be about them😇I hope that's okay🙈:

"NEW EXCHANGE STUDENTS FROM THE CELESTIAL REALM'S PERSONALITIES AND LIKES"

REMIEL

Remiel is an angel of death, and her true form is as the Archangel of Hope. She's the daughter of Death and Azrael, so she is half angel-half nephilim. Remiel always seems somber, gloomy, quiet, but very caring and cautious, especially with the souls she helps reach the afterlife. She has a very soft voice and rarely gets angry, at most she can get disappointed and she's the type to offer second chances, because she believes in redemption if repentance is genuine. Remiel doesn't know human customs well and is rather dense when it comes to feelings or jokes. She's very literal-minded and straightforward, although gentle, so she often needs help to fill her knowledge gaps and satisfy her curiosity. Remiel likes to learn new things, both through books and experiences, the sky, nature and observing the world she isn't used to, since she deals with the dead

NATHANIEL

Nathaniel is a quite high rank angel, like a seraph, and embodies the virtue of Patience. He has a rather serious, ethereal and calm aura, it seems like nothing can shake his stoic attitude, however he's chiller than he seems and willing to lend a hand and offer important lessons/advice to those who need it. One of Nathaniel's traits is that he almost never speaks, he expresses himself mostly with gestures or nods, however he's able to communicate eloquently. To compare Nathaniel to a character, he might resemble Kris from Deltarune, although more graceful. Nathaniel appreciates quiet places, helping others, butterflies, comfortable clothes and exploring

URIEL

Uriel is a warrior angel and embodies courage and justice, she lives to fight and defend and takes her duty very seriously, she rarely breaks rules and under that armor, there is a soul unsure of her own value. Uriel cares about discipline and is quite serious, stubborn, too proud (tsundere-) to let herself go, even if she can be persuaded. Uriel's a very protective angel and unfortunately she still has prejudices towards demons due to the celestial war, so she needs help to overcome her resentment. Uriel enjoys training with her sword of holy light, feeling useful and appreciated, exercising, and flying. She doesn't have much free time, so she may be pushed to actually find new hobbies

[black-feather-fiction]

You said you didn't mind questions so a floodgate has opened:

1. how do Fenrir and Jormungandr EAT? Fenrir has a huge-ass sword driven through his snout and if Jurmungandr ate the regular way then earth's ecosystem would have uhhh.. a bit of a Problem. At first I thought Fenrir was in some kind of stasis, but since Jormungandr can already harness earth's magnetic field or something(I don't have the exact quote at hand) now I'm more convinced that they have a way of converting Seidr into energy, like how fairies can feed off of chaos magic.

2. Would I be correct to assume that the reason Loki didn't free his kids the second he got the reality stone back is because it wouldn't have been naratively satisfying and therefore the Norns wouldn't have allowed it?

3. Loki mentions that they and Fenrir can shapeshift, while Hela can't, but they say nothing about Sleipnir and Jormun. Are those two shapeshifters as well?

4. Why didn't Loki go to Hatchet for help when he was pregnant with the triplets? Was Hatchet somehow off-limits, was Loki too afraid and paranoid to trust even him, or was it internalized transphobia/misogyny(thanks a lot Odin), and Loki thought Hatchet would be ashamed of them?

5. How old is Hatchet? His and Loki's relationship is hard to define, but Tony refers to Loki as Hatchet's godchild during the Alice in the Wonderland arc and somewhere earlier Loki says something along the lines of Hatchet already knowing he would outlive them(Loki).

(Though I know writing fanfiction is your hobby and that one can't explain every little thing in a fantasy world and maybe some of the answers are spoilers so no obligation to answer ig🤷‍♀️)

Oh, wow, so many questions 😆❤️💞. I'll try to answer them as best as I can ❤️❤️💕

1. Yes, Jormungandr is sustained by the magic he harvests from the motion. Fenrir is sustained similarly, partly also by the magic that imprisons him (Odin had to make sure he survives after all) and by the magic of Sutur, and yes, the stasis does help. That said, Fenrir in contrast to Jormungandr is definitely hungry. He's the sibling whose conditions are by far the worst.

Generally, the triplets, including Hela, are a bit of a special case because they are born of the mingling of excess magic - they are literally magic made flesh. So their bodies work differently than those of Sleipnir and Loki, including food consumption.

2. Yes. Far too easy - Loki is not that stupid. And all the infinity stones obey narration first and their wielder only second. This is also why the time stone is especially fickle and almost no one can really use it for much. The power stone, since it's mostly good for destruction and thus not a narratively potent gem, is much less picky.

It takes a very special mindset to wield reality in a way that won't backfire spectacularly - a mindset that Loki luckily has. Always going for the straightforward solution is not part of that mindset however.

3. Good question. I think I haven't specified that yet. But even if they could shapeshift, I think they would be inclined to remain in their current form, while Fenrir would like shifting almost as much as Loki. The sword also serves to imprison him in his current body.

4. Also a very good question - I think that everything that happened after Loki eating Angrboda's heart must be seen in the light of extreme magical, emotional and mental instability. Just like Loki didn't even consider abortion as an option. They just were really not in a good place, full of grief and rage and guilt (they had only just killed their lover and integrated their lover's frigging core), and full of Angrboda's emotions too (who had not been in a "good place" either). Definitely suicidal and not able to think straight. And asking for help is not Loki's biggest strength at the best of times, to put it mildly, which they have demonstrated several times already in the series 😬. This Loki is definitely their own worst enemy.

5. I think that Scyllala has specified Hatchet's age in "Bend around the wind" at some point, and I would stick with that. He should be at least two millennia older than Loki, I think, and as a faeling, he can live virtually forever.

[everybodyknows-everybodydies]

🖤🐷🍃 for kharish 🍎📚🎮 for hallie 💘🥯😞 for molly !!

Kharish:

🖤 BLACK HEART — has your oc killed or seriously wounded anyone before? have they broken someone's heart and/or broken someone's trust?

killed/seriously wounded: not prior to Labyrinthian :'| it's fine don't worry about it we're not thinking about that and neither is she and there are no consequences from this whatsoever. broken a heart though yes... I've alluded before to the unfortunate thing with Murz she had in Shatul but: she was under the impression it was a casual thing, he was mentally picking out names for 2.5 kids and a dog. she was very literally packing to leave for Orsinium when he was like OR, YOU KNOW, WE COULD GET MARRIED and she laughed because she didn't think he was serious 😬 took several years to stop being horribly awkward, but it's all good now!! he got over it and married a nice gal who was NOT heading for the Big City and when she writes home she makes sure to check how he's doing.

🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?

she's biased towards the majestic echatere of course, but also really likes rabbits! small and twitchy and very cute. which could mean nothing,

🍃 LEAVES FLUTTERING IN WIND — what is/was your oc's favorite subject in school?

unsurprisingly: AVID READER. learning how to read was The Point of schooling for baby Kharish; the other stuff was an exciting bonus. (Mom & Dad, who were very much hoping she'd have a head for numbers, aware how expensive books are: alright I know a guy who might know a guy who knows where to find some secondhand; does your cousin still keep in touch with that ex in-law who lived next door to a printing press -)

Hallie (books emoji answered here!):

🍎 RED APPLE — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?

probably at least still near Chorrol, but she doesn't know for sure - Ma's had her since she was a baby, and while she's wondered occasionally where she came from, she already knows the only parent who really matters. but she likes Chorrol! she daydreams about travelling the world, but even in those she always ends back at home.

🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

1: gardening! let her sit in the dirt for a while and make things grow that can be pretty, or helpful, or sometimes even both! 2: drawing! she mostly does portraiture because Ma mostly does landscapes and she gets self-conscious comparing her landscapes to Ma's (sweetheart she has several more years of experience than you do pls). in a modern AU she would have multiple sketchbooks full of bug-eyed anime people. 3: she's been trying to get into whittling, using one of her bound daggers instead of a regular knife. it is not going very well :(

Molly:

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who does your oc consider the most important to them?

before: her brother Matty. after: Brother Martin. this is healthy and normal and involves no codependence at all for sure. (Agdis. being able to be proud of the work she did, making people leave feeling more like themselves than when they came in. and then: keeping Baurus alive. trying to give that wolf an ending it deserved. and then: oh, nothing.)

🥯 BAGEL — what does your oc's typical breakfast look like? do they usually eat breakfast?

during the Crisis it's just whenever and whatever she can find; she's largely disinterested in food and doesn't differentiate much on how it tastes, which means her most regularly scheduled breakfasts are at Cloud Ruler, where the Blades are furiously trying to one-up each other in their best imitations of royal chefs. (to Martin's chagrin. please just get him some toast or something. Molly agrees toast is both easy to accomplish and inoffensive.) prior to the Crisis she liked breakfast a lot because they got plenty of the "rejects" from the bakery. her favorite was a cheese pastry!

😞 DISAPPOINTED FACE — does your oc attract others, or do they tend to be left alone?

THIS IS AN INTERESTING ONE. I'm interpreting "attract" here not necessarily in the romantic/sexual way but just like... attention? idk if that's right but that's how I'm reading it! I have to imagine she suffers from the Curse of the Redhead in the "strangers and little old ladies in particular have strong opinions about your hair" sense, but for the most part she's left alone! at least until she starts wearing the Kvatch armor everywhere, and then the attention is pretty inescapable.

[primewritessmut]

15, 19, 24, 26, and 30

15. favorite weather for writing

Jesus. I don't know! I've literally never thought about it. There are benefits to all the weather, I think, when it comes to nurturing writing but I think I like wet fall weather the best. When the leaves have all fallen and are turning to mush on the ground and hot drinks start becoming a necessity again. But that is all tied up in my cabin in the woods, bog witch dream future so... I mostly write when I can write.

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

Dude. YOU KNOW.

When I was writing bloody theater, the one-shot inspired by spirit box, I needed to research Victorian era medical practices so I more or less knew what the operating theater looked like and what kinds of tools Loki would be likely to use during the vivisection. Which led to me reading an entire book about Joseph Lister who is /sort of/ the father of modern medicine in the sense that he pioneered ways to minimize infection during surgery.

It was such a wild book and so interesting. I was literally sending you screenshots of some of the shit these Victorian doctors did. Like literally nothing has made me feel more kind toward current healthcare than that book.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

I usually stop writing and spend more time doing other hobbies. This past week I've been feeling sort of "meh" about Midori Sour and so haven't been writing at all BUT (!) I've read a ton of books, finished several crochet projects, and went to a few open shoots.

This very adult way of dealing with it is relatively new though. I used to just lay upon my fainting couch with my hand upon my brow and LAMENT for an hour before getting back to the word mines.

26. are you able to write with other people around?

Yes. I kind of have to be able to or I would never write at all.

Back in the day I was very much a "complete and total silence" writer but needs must when the devil drives which means I've had to adjust because I will never experience silence again.

(All that being said, I still think I'm most productive, and write better, when I can sit uninterrupted in a quiet space for an hour or more.)

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of

Goddamn it.

I don't feel pride for fics because hitting post is the exact same thing as shoving them into a shallow grave and shoveling dirt over the body. They are dead to me. Gone. I've moved on now.

I don't knooooow.

I guess I'm proud of bloody theater because it was (1) a labor of love that landed exactly as I'd hoped and (2) it's something I never thought I'd have the balls to put in fic form (let alone ROMANTIC fic form). I'm also super proud of A Particular Set of Skills because it's very balls to the wall in a different way and has format that scared me a little. That one was not so much a labor of love as a Dear John letter to Spideypool. He Speaks Daggers is also probably up there. I think it's one of my mostly tightly plotted fics and it's emotional and romantic in a way that's very special to me.

Ask me again in three months and the answer will have changed to my most recent fics from that point in time, I'm sure.

x

[obstinatecondolement]

Having kind of a post-NaNoWriMo dip in mood re: the fic groove I have been in tbh. (mental illness and insecurity bullshit, mensturation mention cw)

I do still feel Very Strongly about the ideas I have and I do want to write them/continue working on them in the case of the two WIPs I started this week, but without the external structure of the event it's harder to thinking about sustaining that, especially given that I was making so many glaring mistakes that I feel looked very amateurish (I know it's an amateur hobby, but whatever, I expect very ridiculously high standards of myself in almost everything that I would never hold anyone else to and it's always crushing when I inevitably fail to meet them, lol).

The things I was getting wrong were mostly basic spelling errors, using the wrong word in common phrases that turned things into the uncanny valley of that phrase that didn't not make sense but weren't how anyone would say that particular thing naturally, accidentally flipping word order (or not rephrasing the rest of a sentence properly after copying and pasting things around, etc.), and just, like ... random gibberish typos that only became obvious to me after I posted, despite trying really hard to self edit myself carefully.

It's very difficult for me to have the focus to be able to do that sort of detail oriented task when things are in fast-brain mode. And, like, attention to detail is something I am typically very good at, so it's deeply embarrassing to me, especially in a new fandom where I'm creating a first impression.

And like, more generally I also feel like the shine has kind of gone off me and, I know that this is just my literal mental illness distorting my perception of Everything, but it feels like the fandom is already kind of over me because I'm too much. This is all very much a me problem and I don't think it's true or that anyone has treated me badly or done anything that would reasonably create this impression to a person who was not Going Through It (hence the read-more and, like, also: if you are a recent Ghosts follower you have done nothing wrong and have been nothing but nice to me and I don't want you to reassure me*, I'm just insane and I need to get a grip/have serious mental health issues and need to be better at distress tolerance and not being so insecure in how I'm perceived and prone to assuming that people are sick of me.

But, anyway, I think that part of this is just like... also pretty normal? Hypomanic episodes can last up to months, but usually they do fizzle out much sooner than that for most people most of the time, so I think that I just have kind of run out of steam and now I'm going low again having been pretty high for a sustained two-ish weeks and the very obvious external end of the line signal given by NaNo ending has kind of naturally triggered that downturn.

And I am like, speaking pretty approximately here? I think I probably have mixed episodes more than pure hypomanic episodes, for the most part? But, yeah, I don't know. I think the rollercoaster is coming out of a corkscrew and it's just going down now. Which, you know, does suck but it also won't last forever, so that is some comfort. I also still think I might be premenstrual, which does fuck with my head a lot, so, y'know. TL;DR, I'll be fine, but I am having a hard time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*Like, genuinely, please don't. This is a Me problem and I think it would be bad both for me and for my relationships with others if I were to make the people around me feel that they had to constantly protect my feelings by showering me with attention and reassurance, or whatever. And also, like, I'd feel Very Bad if I thought other people felt guilted into doing that because I made a vent post about my irrational feelings that I know full well on an intellectual level are not reflecting an objective reality, because other people do not deserve to feel personally responsible for the bullshit my brain pulls on me.

[geometricalien]

15 people, 15 questions

Tagged by @ultfreakme thank you!! 💕💕

1.) Are you named after anyone?

My first name is biblical and since my parents are Christian and my sibling also has a biblical name, I always presumed it was bc of that. My middle name though is actually a last name from my lineage

2.) When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday! It was day 2 of being home alone since my roommate left for the week and I was feeling particularly lonely since another friend wasn't able to hang out with me the last couple of days in addition to feeling isolated from family during the holiday season Plus being on my period --- yeahhh

3.) Do you have kids?

No. Nope. Nuh uh. Ask me again in 10 years

4.) What sports do you play/have played?

I did volleyball and basketball a lot in my youth, did soccer in elementary school

5.) Do you use sarcasm?

Sometimes. Mostly only with friends when we know we are being sarcastic and are playing it up? Otherwise, I'm just such a literal person I hardly use it elsewhere (even when my friends and I are joking/using sarcasm we often say "just kidding" afterwards)

6.) What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Honestly height and hair. I have such bad face blindness, and I've had it forever. But I'll remember if someone was taller/shorter than me and their hair color

7.) What’s your eye colour?

Grayish blue. They were described like ice before if that helps

8.) Scary movies or happy endings?

Depends on my mood. I like horror movies and there are just so many different kinds- I haven't found a movie that genuinely scares me in a long time though... The last one I remember was Nope. I walked out of the theater and was just watching all the clouds in the sky fkdlsajf

9.) Any talents?

Nothing is really coming to mind... I guess I'm crafty? And it shows itself in different ways. I enjoy the process of creating. Be it in writing or drawing or baking and decorating or following steps- I enjoy having a vision and creating it

10.) Where were you born?

Usa

11.) What are your hobbies?

I read books and fanfiction, I write fanfiction, watch anime and shows, cook, bake, play genshin impact. I've been playing wordle every day for almost a year now. I like tactical stuff with instructions- like legos or putting together furniture- I got this DIY book nook last week and spent like 8 hours putting it together. In school as part of the STEM program we learned how to draft both by hand and on the computer through CAD and Solidworks- those were fun. I miss that. Again it uses that same part of the brain as legos. I also like playing with cards. I have solitaire and pinocle on my phone. I was also learning how to play chess (like the strategy part)

12.) Do you have any pets?

My family home has the cat I got my 8th birthday (barn cat, brown tabby with four white socks on his paws). In the apartment though there is my roommate's black lab, half ragdoll half Siamese cat, and who knows how many fish that keep having babies

13.) How tall are you?

5'10'' (on a good day sshhh)

14.) Favourite subject in school?

MATH HELLO! (......... but also the drafting classes damn i miss those)

15.) Dream job?

Can there be such a thing as having extreme trivia knowledge on my fandoms? I'd like that alot but otherwise.... I'd like to work at one of those cat [Blank] things. Be it a café or a bar or a bookstore (that'd be awesome!!) I think that would be fun

Tagging @alienjack @szivtalan @glitt-erm @amnestyaubrey @farklelucas @brazilian-whalien52 @bloodyspade0000 @traditionalartist @illbebuyingallofthoseflowers and anyone else who sees this and wants to hop in ☺️

[mouthsfullofsharpteeth]

literally share the headcanons! dont tease!

HAHAHAHAH but i love teasing!! cant help it!!! okay well the ones im thinking of the most right now are about the characters and the kind of pets they have, animals they like, etc.

Also this ended up super long so.

trigger warning for animal/pet death. O_O

Alex loves all kinds of animals. He thinks they're all really cool and cute and sweet, rodents, dogs cats, reptiles. Mostly, I think he is definitely a cat person, but he also loves dogs. He had Rocky of course, and I don't really have a set breed for her, she's probably just a really mixed up mutt lol. Medium sized somewhat patterned brown dog with big ol sweet puppy eyes. I think during the summer of marble hornets, Rocky ... "ran away".. Alex doesn't know what happened to his sweet puppy, but he's just glad she wasn't one of the animals that turned up dead in his front yard. After he lost Rocky, he really didn't think he would ever have another pet. But because I love my little revival/nobody dies au's, I think as he's slowly recovering alongside the others, he starts getting really into the idea of owning a ferret. He probably saw some cute video of one, and it kinda became a little hyper-fixation since he had no hobbies or interests anymore. He still likes movies, but he doesn't ever want to make one again. He likes writing scripts, but would die before filming anything for it. He has nothing else he likes to do anymore, so he just gets really into ferrets. Ferrets are big thing to take care of, but Alex is very confident he can do it. So he gets one. And I think he is really successful at caring for it. He really loves that thing. And he takes the stupidest little up close pictures of its face. I think he would get the chocolate coloration, or maybe a sable mitt. I also think he would really enjoy owning cats. In the many little au's I have, he's owned several, but in a high school AU, I have him owning two little cats, a tabby boy named Neo and a black kitten girl named Trinity, after the Matrix characters lol. I don't think he ever gets a dog for himself aside from Rocky, though.

Tim also likes animals, but has never really had a pet of his own. When he was a kid, he had a hamster, but killed it during a Masky episode. His parents tried letting him have a dog, but again, during those Masky episodes he would just get too violent with it, and they had to give it away. I think, on that note, about his Masky episodes- when he was an unmedicated kid going in and out of psychiatric hospitals all the time, they would happen when he felt scared or threatened. Which is why later in life, when Alex Kralie attempts to kill him in college, thats the trigger for Masky coming back. I think there was probably a long period of time before that where he had grown out of Masky, and the episodes would have stopped. So, Tim has this sort of idealized dream where he really does want a dog, or honestly any kind of pet, but has told himself he's not allowed to have one. I think at some point, in that same recovery au, he ends up getting a seizure alerting/PTSD and anxiety service dog. I think it's a saint bernhard and german shepherd mix, one of those massive strong saint shepherds. It would be big and strong enough to give Tim good pressure during seizures and not be hurt, and it would actually pose enough of a threat to Masky that he wouldn't be able to hurt it. Just a big sweet gentle giant that adored Tim and isn't scared of Masky. Masky would manage to get past his scary little pet killer instincts and would be obsessed with this dog.

I don't really have anything to say about Jay or Brian, BUT I do have a lot to say about mr side background character Seth Wilson. Hes so real to me.

So much of this is based off of @drowsybugs portrayel of him in our shared AU's lol, but basically I feel like Seth has really severe asthma, and so he's got a service dog for that. And Seth isn't exactly very good at naming things, so his dog (you brought your dog) is just named. Seth Jr. Seth Jr is a sweet little chocolate lab, just adorable and so friendly. I adore this puppy. I love him.

But yes. This is what lives in my brain ty for asking

[inkofamethyst]

March 8, 2023

No one would ever get this out of me irl but I very occasionally, at the peripheries of my thoughts wonder what might have been if I had agreed to go out with that guy from biochem. (Can you tell that Hadestown has had an effect? This is dizzying. Next thing you know I'm going to be begging to have a crush (but also I'm very picky about my crushes bc they can't be undergrads (lol tbf I'm only barely not an undergrad myself), they can't be in my department, and they have to be someone I see somewhat regularly (no passerby crushes)).) Because part of the reason I said no was fear and part of it was that I was in excruciating pain when we had that study date (mostly the fear though), and then there was also the whole being devastated about not getting to show off that solo that I worked really hard on. Bad vibes all around. But he wasn't a bad guy. I was just scared.

Even still, I can't seem to remember his name.

[edit, next day: I wrote the above last night and you would not believe the butterflies I got today when all I did was make eye contact with some (very attractive) dude before a class. Ridiculous. (I have the need to catch his eye again.) This is gonna be like bike-boy from junior year lol. Or the caving dude, also from junior year (literally who did I think I was, trying to go caving just to get close to a man??? Lowkey still wish I'd been able to get in on that trip, but alas).]

God, I really cannot dance. Was recently informed that alum from my undergrad uni would be restricted in their GDrive space so I went in and culled (will ultimately have to remove half of what I have stored) a bit. In early pandemic days there was some Broadway challenge (it was basically a big ad but it was fun and free (and very successful, incredibly marketed), so) where each week you'd have to take time to learn a song or dance or something and post it and I saved my dance video to my uni GDrive and it's AWFUL. Like the steps are all there, I can remember them (because I drilled it hard) but I'm so clunky lookin--it's dreadful. IT'S SO BADDD. (keep in mind it was newsies though so like it is bad but the choreo isn't helping either) But. If nothing else, I keep that smile on lock(down). I haven't watched any of the theatre tapes from high school but that doesn't make me excited to see them, beyond hating the recorded sound of me singing, bleh.

Found out what next year's stipend numbers are going to be and there's still literally no way I'd be able to make it work with my current savings rates (25% (also I'll be increasing my estimated taxes to 30% from 25%)) without help. It feels kind of weird to say this because I truly miss my grandmother so much like it's not even funny, but she's helping me so much right now.

Want to make a text-based, randomized, hunger-games-style battle royale game in python for my friends to play. In a different life, I think I could've been a game dev. Literally. Writing, music, computer science (I don't really do visual arts though). To be fair, like, there's nothing stopping me from trying. On the side, just for fun, coming up with minigames. I think I'd need to become like Brandon Sanderson though, where I relax by doing something (actually, now that I think about it, I'm not that far off, it's just that I don't have a ton of access to my favorite hobbies rn (music, sewing, etc)).

Today I'm thankful for how beautiful biology can be sometimes. I love how we find reflections of the same ideas at all levels!!! Recently I was thinking about multicellular organisms, and how they're just a bunch of different cell types that have different jobs with the goal of all working toward the greater good of staying alive together. And you don't just see this in things like animals! There are unicellular organisms that form colonies when times get tough, and they sometimes will even divide out work amongst themselves. And at the multi-organismal level, people banded together during those early days of covid to make sure the elderly were fed, that we were getting fitness classes, that we could see performances. And I know this is a basic idea in biology, but that doesn't stop it from being beautiful.

[edit: I finished all of my pre-spring break homework!!!! Let the breaking begin!!!!]