#their friendship IRL seems so nice

[beautyinsteadofashes]

i'd like to take a moment to appreciate the fact that JJ finally got to kidnap Rafe:

living his dream life

[cryptidapprentice]

man,,,

[olderthannetfic]

Ayyy, there seems to be a lot of older people among the regular commenters of this blog so I'm gonna shoot my shot and ask for advice.

Idk if it's just the clinical depression but I can't help but feel like I'm never gonna find love as a straight girl. I don't hate men at all -- I've been very lucky to be surrounded by decent dudes growing up but shit. Lookin at the state of the world rn... Gen Z dudes chugging misogynist bullshit at alarming rates, women like Gisele Pelicot going through unspeakable shit from their own husbands... it's hard not to feel cynical. On top of that the decent dudes I know irl are all taken, I don't wanna go on dating apps, and as much as I wanna fuck an older man no decent one is gonna settle for a depressed young woman who's a 4 at best...

It's not that i don't have fulfilling friendships or that I don't value them, I just want to love and care for (and get dicked down by) a decent guy who feels the same way. I've always wanted that and I don't think it's changing anytime soon. Feels impossible though. I'm not sure if I'm the problem (I'm plain faced at best, no fashion sense or charm to speak of, though I do my best to be polite and kind) or there's just shit going on I've no control over.

--

People will give you a lot of placating nonsense, but the reality is that the supply of reasonably okay straight women is much higher than the supply of reasonably okay straight men. Finding a fulfilling long-term relationship is always hard anyway, but man... straight guys really need to step it up.

That said, a lot of people in general and straight guys in particular learn a lot from the breakdown of their first marriage/long-term relationship. Just because a guy is listening to godawful manosphere podcasts today doesn't mean he's never going to be dateable later.

Research on dating apps suggests that your average guy responds to pics where women have a lot of makeup on by looking for a hookup, passes by the ones with no makeup, and finds the ones with a little lipstick or something but not heavy makeup the most dateable.

While it would be nice if appearance didn't matter, if you're really worried about this, there are some basic things you can do where you'll get a lot of bang for your buck: Find one lipstick you can stand and learn to apply it. I like Bésame Cosmetics because I am a nerd and they sponsored a local film noir festival. Peggy Carter's lipstick was from them. They have the advantage of being intensely pigmented, so a quick swipe gives full coverage. I hate having shit on my face in general, so that's helpful. If eye stuff is less bleurgghhhh than lip stuff, learn to apply eyeliner instead. There are some liquid ones I really like even if it takes some practice to get decent at painting them on. You don't need a full face of makeup or really much of anything to read as Hot Girl™ to people who don't know anything about makeup and aren't paying much attention. Yes, even if you're a 4 and it's not just the depression talking.

Charm is hard. Some things can be taught, but a lot of that's innate. Fashion, however, is not. You don't need to be a fashionista to look better than a lot of the people around you. Save your money for fewer, better outfits. Buy things that fit well and get things tailored. Don't settle for ill-fitting clothes that don't make you feel good. Look for natural fibers and clothing that will last a long time. (And if you think you have sensitive skin that cannot handle natural fibers, you need to go up several price points on your cotton. Just saying.)

You can also increase your chances by doing activities where you meet more people who might be a good match. This means finding hobbies that actually have straight guys in them and going to in-person things where you meet new people. (This sounds obvious and pedantic, but I cannot tell you how many women I know who want a boyfriend but only do social things that are 95% women and 5% gay men.)

But the biggest thing you can do to stand out is... well... work on that depression. Self confidence and obviously being in a good place in your life are very attractive. Also, the good catches who haven't been snapped up tend to be the quiet, shy people. If you have your own shit together enough to detect and pursue them, you have a better chance of finding someone great.

I get that ~fix your depression~ is not helpful advice, but working on yourself in both important and relatively superficial ways is something you can control. Meeting the right person is not.

It might help to look at this as a 5-10-year goal and/or a lifetime goal, not a "Oh my god, my life sucks this year" problem. Yes, there's shit going on that you have no control over, but if that's your career and mental health and so on, you can work on that and be in a different place in a few years.

Frankly, I think a certain amount of cynicism is warranted, but that doesn't mean there are no decent guys or that you'll never find one.

[herejusttosufferalong]

Hello, SEX anon again.

YOOOOOO, we have been fed so well these past few days. Isn't it?! I was getting a little peckish and A03 wasn't really filling me up. Slutty smirk. Then poof. Everything I ever dreamed about, on my plate. In my mouth. Blessed with fresh pics of N at Wimbledon. White last year, black this year. I see you, girl. That dark side coming out but your face like an angel. Ta-tas for days. Good for fkn you. Can confirm all previous statements.

Then before that we get BTS of an actual, irl wedding between L&N. I was fkn sobbing uncontrollably. Look at her cute cherub face, talking about shitting herself, placing her hand on his god damn heart. Are you trying to fck with me? You are the realest person I've ever seen in my life, I love you and if I met you my eyes would pop out and I would die peacefully having breathed the breath that you breathed in my vicinity. Thank you, I love you.

Then there's that goofy L. Jaw on the floor. Eyes bulging. Drinking her all up. Breathing her in Hocus Pocus style. Being all David Brent when startled by the cameraman. Yeah, guy, you're being filmed. This is a set. GUY. LOOK at me. We're filming. HELLO? Nup, gone. And them just having those glazed over eyes, just emotionally spent, just overcome, just in love, but not aware or maybe are aware, but I like the way you feel physically, and you look perfect, and you smell nice, and I cannot stop looking at your lips and eyes and your lips, and oh bohy. It must be fkn draining. It must be so hard to get married and pretend it's fake. I imagine that would be so challenging, but you know, they the pros.

Full disclosure, I wasn't present when this gift came to light. I was minding my own business, getting slightly high with my partner (medical, of course), thinking of ways to confess my love of Lukola and get his ADHD male POV. That sweet anon with toddlers inspired me to come clean. But it didn't go so well initially, because I was all slowed down, and laughing nervously, and saying shit like "I need to tell you something... please don't judge me... oh god". He looked like L when some man touch N. So yeah, I wouldn't recommend. But it all turned out just fine. What would've taken 10 mins took about 2 hours to explain. Tangents upon tangents of Brazil and security guards and Rory and the forehead stroke. But we got there. Ngl, we analysed hard. Every position. It was hot af. Some insights:

After two seconds watching L&N interview - "that guy is lost, he clearly wants her though... got some self-confidence issues... giving me Karl Pilkington vibes... she's like his carer". Fkn lol. Me being like N defending L "but like he's a nice guy, like a sweet sensitive guy". "Yeah he seems like it but he's clearly out of her league...". Me holding onto Lukola delulu so hard, "I know but he could get to her level, don't you think?". Please for the love of god. "Yeah but it's all down to him. He's the problem". YEP WE KNOW.

L is a "leaf in the wind" blowing everywhere, no foundation in himself, that's why his behaviour is so confusing. L is not aware of his feelings on a conscious level or not fully accepting it. Flirty behaviour followed by odd looks explained by liking her touch and closeness but not wanting others to know he likes it. Thinks they caught feelings on set. Didn't go ahead because of filming and being 'in character'. Reunited after filming, cue pics of them together, and lots of chatter about them being together irl. Thinks that L's friendship group may have joked about it, gave him shit for it, and L buried those feelings deep. May have been getting thirst messages after 'glow up', pumped up by fuck boy mates, ego takes over. Opts for friend-approved doll. Feelings came up again during press tour when separated from friends. May have acted impulsively on said feelings - Brazil possibly. Possibly shut down by N due to timing and messy third parties. Back to London and influences. Lost again.

My desperate question, "Will he find his way back? To self-actualisation???" "It would be hard for someone like him to find his true self when surrounded by those people". Me still hopeful, "Oh but he'll probably be away from them when they start s4 filming". Him being logical af. "Could be a good opportunity... I can only see two ways of him changing... either he reaches rock bottom and starts to wonder why he's so miserable, and even then maybe not... or someone he trusts and respects talks him round... but it's going to be really hard for him... he's asleep at the wheel". Ok, gotcha. Fck this is gonna be a slow process, guys.

But then again they already married so who gives a fck.

"But then again they already married so who gives a fck."

I FUCKIN LOVE YOU ANON

PLS SEND MORE 💜🥃

[lilyfrogisnotneurotypical]

kiss it better

Dhawan! Master x Reader fluff 2.1k

warnings: kissing ig?, blood but nothing graphic y’all asked and i delivered. I woke up at 2 am and couldn’t go back to sleep so I wrote this for 3 hours. Never written fanfic before but enjoy ig. There’s probably multiple mistakes and it’s definitely ooc. Also if you know me irl, no you don’t go away.

He was acting weird. Well he was always acting weird, but it had been a different weird lately. The Master was fond of you, you knew that much, he remembered little things that you liked, such as how you took your tea, or which shoes you preferred for running during one of the many outings you went on while traveling with him. But this time it seemed he was being particularly gentle with you. 

“I can still walk you know.” 

“This keeps you from trying to run off before I can treat you.” The Master replies gruffly.

You had scraped your knees. That was it. You were running from yet another alien race the Master had pissed off and you had fallen briefly and scraped your knees, getting right back up to keep running and make it into the TARDIS. You were fine really, your knees stung and you’d have to clean them well, but it wasn’t anything life threatening. The way the Master was walking quickly to the med bay with you carried bridal style in his arms however, told you that he thought otherwise. 

With the TARDIS doors closed behind you he races to the console to pilot the ship away, likely to some random galaxy that  would be safe to float around in. After catching your breath you walk to join him, watching his movements as he pushes buttons and pulls levers. Once he turns to face you however, the grin that had been on his face drops, his eyes on your knees.

“You’re hurt.”

You hadn’t realized blood was slowly seeping out of your knees until you look down after hearing his words.

“Oh.” you say. “I fell while running, I must’ve scraped my knees then.”

Without warning, he closes the distance between the two of you, kneeling just slightly in order to pick you up from behind your back and under your knees. You weren’t expecting him to be that close to you, let alone touch you, let alone carry you like he was doing now. In your shock, it took you a moment to register what was happening.

“What are you doing?” You ask incredulously as he walks out of the console room down one of the many corridors.

“Taking you to the med bay. You’re hurt.” He replies simply.

“Not that badly, I can handle it myself, and I didn’t need to be carried!”

When he didn’t say anything after a beat, you try again, softer this time.

“I can still walk you know.” 

“This keeps you from trying to run off before I can treat you.” The Master replies gruffly.

You went quiet at that, knowing damn well he was right and you would never willingly let him take care of the injury for you. It was still strange though. When you had first started traveling with him he couldn’t care less if you were left behind on some random planet, let alone hurt. He had warmed up to you though, and a somewhat distant friendship is what you got used to, even if he would never call what the two of you shared friendship. So to go from nothing to distant, to then quite literally carrying you down a hallway in the span of probably a year or so (you couldn’t quite tell, time passage is weird in the TARDIS) it was safe to say you weren’t sure what to make of it. You weren’t complaining necessarily, the gentler treatment was nice especially because of the feelings you had developed for him while traveling, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up; he wouldn’t ever reciprocate the feelings, in fact he’d probably laugh and drop you back on Earth if he ever found out.

You realized you had zoned out when the Master walks into the brightly lit med bay and sets you down on one of the beds. He lays you down slowly, making sure you won’t be jostled any in the transfer to the bed. Once he’s satisfied you’ll be fine there, he turns to the cabinets, producing a vial of some clear liquid, wound dressings, and a soft looking black towel. Setting the equipment on the bedside table he begins to work, wetting the black towel with water from the sink and gently cleaning the blood that had made a crust on your knees. You watch him as he cleans your knees, his brow furrowed as he concentrates on the task, completely silent save for the sounds of his hands moving.

“Why are you doing this?” you ask quietly.

“Doing what love.” he replies, not ceasing the movement of his hands as he applies some kind of ointment to your knees.

“Helping me. I could’ve done it myself.”

“Can’t have my human breaking on me now can I? Your species needs constant care.”

Feeling brave you decide to confront him. “No you’re acting strange. What is it?”

He finally looks up at that, his brown eyes squarely meeting your own.

“I didn’t give you any pain meds so why are you acting delirious? Or is it the blood loss that’s making you this way?” 

“Don’t turn this on me! I’m perfectly fine that’s the thing, you’re the one acting weird! I could’ve handled this myself easily, so why are you treating me like i’ve had some life threatening injury?” you let out, thoroughly exasperated.

His eyes narrow, voice hard when he responds.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Like hell you don’t.”

He growled at that, leaving the supplies he was cleaning up to turn and face you.

“Watch your tone pet.”

“You won’t do anything about it. You just carried me to the med bay for some scraped knees, you won’t hurt me, now why do you care.”

He’s angry that much was certain. You aren’t afraid of him, not after traveling with him this long, but the anger radiating from his person does make you nervous.

“I said, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“You do though! You’ve been so much gentler with me these past few months, why? What’s wrong? Why are you acting so weird? Why won’t you answer me?!”

“Go to your room, you need rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.” he says, walking to the door.

“Why are you acting like this!”

“Because I love you!”

You can’t help but fall silent, eyes wide as you take in what he said. He has to be joking. This can’t be real, he would never say that, why would he say that, why-

Your silence seemed to be a sign to him because he looks at you with a mixture of anger and sadness, and something else you can’t pinpoint.

“Go to your room. Don’t follow me.”

And then he left. And then you burst into tears. You crumple on the floor, the emotion overwhelming you as you struggled to process it all. He has to be joking right? He can’t mean that, but- you really want him to. Half of yourself denies it, and the other half feeds into the fantasy. You don’t know what to do. The Master isn’t a man you’d expect to love someone. Or just be decent to someone really. So what does it mean that he’s said that?

Deciding lying on the floor crying will get you nowhere, you follow the Masters orders and go to your room, but not before going to the kitchen to get a glass of water. 

“This’ll cool me down.” you think while filling up an empty glass with water and ice. 

Sipping the water you walk to your room and open the door. Your room. You love this room, all its personality and coziness, and everything that makes it perfect for you. Setting down your cup on the coaster you keep next to your bed, you walk into the bathroom and splash water on your face to calm yourself. Looking in the mirror you decide to fix up a bit  in order to feel better. After changing into something more comfortable and brushing your hair you feel much more confident. Which meant you needed to confront the Master. 

You had walked out into the corridor before realizing you had no idea where he was. As you wonder how you were supposed to find him now, the TARDIS warbles at you. She talked to you sometimes. Never with words but somehow you always seemed to know what she meant. Like her pilot, she seemed quite fond of you, often leading you to the kitchen in the middle of the night, or making your trip to the condole room just a bit shorter. This time it seemed she was leading you to the Master. Thanking her quietly, you walk down the hallway, the TARDIS directing your passage. Eventually you turn a corner to see a single door.

This is it. No backing out now. You push open the door to find the library. You should’ve guessed honestly. The library was the Masters sanctuary, his safe place to go. You weren’t sure if he ever left it while he was on the ship. You don’t see him at first, but when you get to the couches you find him sitting at one with his head in his hands.

“I thought I told you not to follow me.”

“And I thought you knew I was terrible at following orders but here we are.”

He doesn’t respond to that, instead choosing to look up at you. His hair is messed up, likely from his hand running through it, and he’s put his glasses on, making him look as non-threatening as possible. You walk towards him, and when he doesn’t move or say anything, you sit next to him, being sure to leave some space between the two of you.

“Is it true?” you ask quietly. “Do you really-“

“If you’re only here to tease you can leave.” he says, standing up and walking to a bookshelf.

You turn in your seat.

“No that’s not it, I-“

“The high and mighty Master fell for a human, yes I know.”

“Will you just listen!”

“I can drop you off at home. You’ll never have to see me again.”

“You stupid time-lord.”

That catches his attention. Before he can say anything though, you speak first.

“I love you too. I have for a while now.”

“Don’t tease-“

“I’m not. I love you. Now please come sit down so I can talk to you.”

Your heart pounds in the quiet room and you hold your breath until the Master comes back around to the couch and sits down. His presence next to you is heavy now, and you shiver. 

“You love me.” he whispers into the silence.

“Yes. And i’m assuming it’s reciprocated. Well, I hope so at least.” you reply, still unsure any of this is real.

He turns and looks at you, a soft smile on his face.

“Would I lie to you?”

“Yeah actually you probably would.” you laugh, and when you look back at him he’s laughing too.

“Fair point. But i’m not lying about this. I swear it. I love you.”

You can’t help the grin on your face or the blush body betrays you with. The Master looks at you with such softness you have to remind yourself it’s real. His eyes flicker to your lips and he turns his body towards you.

“Love?”

“Yes?”

“Would it be alright if I kissed you?”

“Always.”

You have no time to prepare yourself before his lips touch yours and your whole world explodes. Colors flash behind your eyes and he takes your waist with his hand, pulling you closer to him. Your brain flickers neon as he titled his head slightly to get a better angle, lips moving softly against your own. He kisses you like it might be your last kiss, he kisses you like you’ll die if he doesn’t. Your own hands go to his chest and hair, raking your fingers through those gorgeous curls you always wanted to touch. If the noise that comes from the back of his throat is any indication, he seemed to like that.

He breaks the kiss to look into your eyes and laugh again, quietly this time, as if in disbelief.

“What is it?” you ask.

“You’re just so… you.”

His lips go to yours again, moving in such a way that the fireworks in your head spin. His hand travels up your back to play with your hair, the other hand stroking along your side. Putting the hand that had been in his hair on his cheek, you run your thumb against his hairline. He breaks the kiss to pepper feather light kisses down your neck and shoulder, producing a blissful sigh from you. When he moves back to your face he simply looks at you, eyes filled with what you know realize was love.

“Well someone was enthusiastic.” he teases, relishing in the light blush that dusts your face.

“You were the one who kissed me.”

“Really? I don’t know love, we might have to check your memory too, that doesn’t sound right.”

“Oh shut up.”

“Make me.”

[itgirlgyu]

how i think txt would react if their female best friend sat on their lap

requested!

YEONJUN...

oh my god totally bitchless behavior coming in within 0.4 seconds

like this man will stop functioning, like is it normal to have your hands on the side?

tries to strike a pose

like daniel,, bby you're embarrassing yourself

swear he thinks he's like aha so fine

might lean back to play it cool

but you know he stiff as hell

like basically it's that dad pose when you know you've disappointed him and you're about to sit with him in a dark living room to soak in the immeasurable shame you've brought to the family.

his undergarment is drenched from stress sweats

might actually start stuttering

pls get off him before his dry sex life makes him pop a boner and the friendship gets ruined for life.

SOOBIN...

his head starts overheating due to overthinking the moment you sit on his lap like

the only two option were the floor where beomgyu spilled his drink or any of the dudes lap and he's your bestie boo so ofc you'd pick him

right?

tries to gaslight himself into thinking it's fine

like sure this shit is fine and it's normal to sit on each others laps.

but inside his head there are 4 tabs open, two of them are having a debate on the pros and cons of having your best friend on your lap and other two are playing tiktok random hits and he doesn't know which one he should tune in to

for the peace of his own mind, he tries to sit on your lap the next time

tit for tat he says.

BEOMGYU...

starts acting like you are crushing his thighs

he knows you playing so he's like aha two can play the game

girl you really thought you will outdo the doer

the og mr. mood breaker?

will straight up start moaning in your ears

starts squirming and whining like

'oooof my thighs are so fragile,'

does not give two cents about the place he is in

or the situation

or what people will assume

if soobin is the overthinker, beomgyu rarely thinks

its like his brain just takes off in a rush and it's taken over by the sheer need to annoy the fuck out of his bestie.

he's like the fly you can't just quite swat away

literally starts doing his own echo moan from one ear to another

you have to admit the defeat and get up on your own.

TAEHYUN...

will not straight up push you off him.

but the look he gives you, he might as well just put in the physical effort and do it.

his face is like, 'you did this for what?'

'why not?'

'why though?'

tries to get used to you sitting on him

like its chill

you're his bestie and he's a gym goer

so it does work out nicely

but the thing is like,

your back is blocking his vision

like its all chill and cute in movies but irl your sight will definitely get blocked and it has nothing to do with the person's height!

he tries to adjust so that he doesn't need to kick you off of him

and hurt your feelings or something

man is here jumping through hoops to seem effortless in order to continue his debate with hyuka about the importance of the balance between peanut butter and jelly in the sandwich

you see his struggle and move over on your own with a new found respect for terry the terrance taehyun kang

HUENING KAI...

he's looking at your head like, hmm you kinda sus

but that lasts like a whole lot of ten seconds before he's like nothings even on him

although he tries to smell the top of your head like what is the difference between a baby's head and an adult's crown

he is a curious little crow, it's one of his charms

makes a quick mental note to break it to you gently that you might need to take a lil bit more hygiene care on the top of your head.

he leans back

unlike yeonjun the daniel choi, he's fr chill

also man's broad as hell

he's like meant to be a chair at this point

you can lean in as much as you want on him and you know he would fine with anything

like he barely feels you on him anyway

you can probably just lean back on him and he'd cradle you like his first born

just maybe not kiss the top of your head

but he finally got an idea what to gift you on your birthday!

so it all worked out for the best!

© to itgirlgyu. feedbacks are highly appreciated and welcomed!!!!

[lonewolflupe]

I've seen several of these around Tumblr, and thought it would be fun to do one myself as well! So here's my art progress in 2024!

Ramblings and more art comparisons/progress below the cut (:

Statistics

I started drawing humans (mostly clones eheh) and posting them here on Tumblr in June

Since then, I finished and posted about 140 (dakriff) drawings (I counted my files for this post and I feel like I miscalculated but it's actually that many??)

Those include just below 50 pieces drawn with my mouse (June-October)..

.. and just over 90 since I got my drawing screen in early November (help)

Famous last words

If they ever put me away behind closed doors, I hope they let me keep my drawing screen ~Lupe, December 31, 2024

Here's a month-to-month look with more art (because with over 140 pieces in 7 months, it was hard to pick just one for each month!). Don't feel obligated to read all this, I just thought it was fun for myself to read this back later (when hopefully, I made even more art progress) (:

I finally found the courage to start posting here on Tumblr, and it didn't take me long to introduce my Jedi OC Lupe (I actually never posted the Youngling Lupe art, so that's a bonus, I guess). Lots of templates and references, because drawing humans is HARD. I made my own clone-portrait-template and used it to create the clones from the Lone Wolf Squad.

First time drawing clone armour, which was actually more fun and satisfying than I had imagined. I tried adding more body below my portraits. Experimenting with art styles to find something that I felt comfortable with.

More clones, including OC art. I tried adding a little bit of depth, but shading felt impossible with my mouse. I also started my Clone Shenanigans series (which I should continue some day).

If you noticed an increase in Fox content, that's because I fell hard for this guy haha. And of course there's more of the clones I loved from the beginning, like Fives and Echo <3 I reached 100 followers and celebrated with an art event. Which was very time-consuming because I was still drawing with my mouse, but it was so much fun and I think it really helped me progress my art skills (and it started some friendships that are now very dear to me ❤️). Also, I finally started doing some effort with shading/lighting.

I wrapped up my 100 follower event and almost immediately dove into my inbox Trick-Or-Treating event, including both art and writings. I put quite some time in those fics, so I feel like I didn't do as much art as the previous and next months (DEFINITELY not as much as the next months, ahahaha).

So this is where the fun begins (nah it started back in June, but this is the moment I went totally feral with drawing clones ahahaha). Early November, I received my drawing screen, which means I started drawing with a pen directly on screen instead of using my mouse (which saves a LOT of time). After some practicing, I started getting better feeling for both full-body and armoured clones with my The Blorbo Wars series (which you really seemed to like haha, thanks for all the lovely attention! I promise I'll continue the series!).

I think I've gone a bit rogue this month, haha. I had so much fun celebrating my Advent Event (I actually did most of the art for that event in November 😅)! I barely wrapped that up when I hit 300 followers, which I'm currently celebrating with my Meme Mania! I'm finally at a place where I'm really enjoying my art style, especially for drawing faces. Of course there's always room for improvement, and I'm totally here for it!

Thank you all so much for sticking with me, for supporting me and encouraging me <3 This has been a bit of an exhausting year (mostly because of good things, for once), and the Tumblr clone community has been such a nice diversion from all the IRL adulting. Thanks for being here and welcoming me like you did <3

For 2025..

I will continue drawing, of course! I can't wait to see where I'll be in another few months! I'd love to practice some more lighting/rendering, I'm definitely going to get better with anatomy! And perhaps I'll finally dive into the abyss that's called proper backgrounds.. I also have plans to do some art for my longfic A Lupe Of Faith, to give Lupe a bit more attention. And I have so many ideas for upcoming events, it's insane haha.

I will continue writing as well, don't worry. It's just that I'm really sick with the drawing-bug at the moment. I'll try to vary a little bit.

Besides the art and the writing, I can't wait to continue all the friendships I've made here, to see whatever new clone content you'll all come up with! (And maybe we'll get some more canon clone content, Lucasfilm/Disney pretty please???)

Thanks to all of you for making this my digital home ❤️

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for 'avoiding' a face reveal?

I (24) met a guy (20) in an online game with voice chat about two to three years ago. We started hanging out on discord after some games and have been friends since, but i feel like im hiding a big secret from him. Im a trans guy but basically pre-everything. when we played the first game i just assumed hed think im a girl anyways and never said anything about it but he heard another player call me by my chosen name during it and thought i was a guy? which blew my mind, kinda. anyways, fast forward he eventually asks about pronouns bc he wasnt sure and i just went "he/they, anything thats not she" and he didn't question it either. When we eventually revealed ages to each other he was surprised i was older bc of my voice but still didnt seem to assume anything but a cis guy with a kinda high vc voice.

Every now and then he brought up the convo of "haha imagine if we suddenly face revealed in vc" but never forced it. i kept kinda going "yeah haha eventually" and he'd let the convo drop for another few months.

Inbetween those he found out i was queer (saw a gay flag on my wall in the back of a cat pic) and asked about it. By his way of questioning and reacting to it i could tell he usually doesn't hang out with people like me and he even did the "i used to have a gay friend once before! but he fell in love with me haha but im not gay though. but i dont judge you" kinda message. overall i dont mind it. my usual friend circles are all some kind of queer so having one separate friendship where im treated as "one of the guys" is really nice too, since i never pass irl or often immediately tell people im trans on discord.

As i mentioned, he sometimes brings up the "imagine face reveal haha" thing every now and then and i always kinda ignore it and turn it down, partly definitely because i fear that seeing my face would clue him in on me just being trans and affecting our friendship or his view of me, since i dont think he has any other connections to queer people in his life currently.

But I also feel bad for constantly ignoring it or going "well eventually :)" and keeping him unaware. AITA for this?

[sweet-demiboi]

Billy Hargrove x Male!Reader (smut)

Warnings: Eddie is your bestie, steddie is a thing, Billy is still a bit of a newbie, you basically fight in sports class lol and fuck afterwards, top!dom!reader and definetly sub!bottom!Billy (he's a bit bitchy at first), hair pulling is mentioned, also m!reader's dick is in his ass, m!reader grabs Billy at the neck like once (not really choking though), many hickeys on Billy, unprotected sex (don't be stupid irl, this is just fiction), also kinda shower sex (also don't be stupid that way irl, if you slip it could end not very well), this can be read by poc Ig, but probably not asexual people or trans guys, sorry :/ (I do have other fics for you on my masterlist though, just read the warnings :)), also this is not proofread (yet) - Enjoy!

No Fem!Readers, please!

Your last lesson of the day was PE. It was okay, you were even good at it. Basketball was one of your favorite school sports although you had decided not to play on the school's team.

The guys there were more than a bit toxic and you really preferred your friendships with Eddie Munson and his group. They were a lot more relaxed and actually quite funny. They didn't like sports.

So, you weren't surprised as to find that Eddie wanted to skip this class again. But as soon as he told you that he would be going on a date with Steve Harrington (who was also skipping), you were all over the place. Excited and happy for him, plus you forced him to meet you afterwards and tell everything.

But now you would have to face the new student alone - Billy Hargrove, the guy who had risen to the top of the popularity scale over night. Not even Steve had done that.

Anyway, you came back from your world of thoughts and tried to focus on the game instead, which was starting right now. The only thing you had noticed was that it was basketball and you would have to play against Billy Hargrove.

God, have mercy. He was on the shirtless team. His body basically had you drooling all over the floor. How could a highschooler manage to be this pumped? You decided not to question it.

His body was about everything that was nice about Billy in this particular class, because he played in a way that made you so damn angry.

He was all grins and chuckles when he got the ball past you, blocked you with his whole body and its weight, would jump up so highly that you couldn't land a single shot and he was provoking you all the time.

"(Y/L/N), huh? They told me you were good at this, and thought to myself: that's nice, finally something that won't be boring around here. Seems like I was wrong"

"Would you just shut up and play?"

"'course"

Then he ran beside you, the ball in his hands. He winked. It was making you furious.

You felt your level of anger rise, your blood boil a little more with every ball he took away from you, with every grin, every comment, and every provocation.

Until you were playing just like him. You would dodge, block him, make comments, and were always visibly annoyed while doing so. Billy seemed as if he was enjoying to see those reactions from you, because he wasn't stopping but played a little harder, laughed a little louder, and smiled a little wider.

The tension between you two was building as well. It got kind of hot, and not because of the temperature, it was rather all the looks you shared, when your bodies pressed against each other or when your breath hit each other's skin.

Then Billy pushed you in hope to get you down, which you did. The adrenaline though gave you enough energy to roll over, get up again, snatch the ball away from him and score.

Now he wasn't as amused as before, which made you grin this time.

"Took your mouth too full, Hargrove?"

"You wish"

At this point you were able to identify the tension as clearly sexual, at least it was for you. Of course, Billy was hot, but also this way he was behaving and playing did something to you. But maybe you were just overinterpreting the whole situation.

At the end of this class you were littered in bruises and scratches. Your teacher wanted to talk to you and Billy as well. He didn't seem quite so happy about how you had played.

"When I said I wanted a fair game, this wasn't what I meant!", he looked furious at both of you "Next time, I want to see none of what happened today! Did you understand that?"

"Yes, coatch", both of you mumbled

"Good! Now apologise to each other!"

You looked Billy in the eyes, which were a nice ocean blue color, and shook his hand "Sorry", you heard a sorry for you as well, but you didn't really care. Teachers should know that their students weren't as serious as they might thought they were in such moments.

When you got back to the changing rooms you were the only one's left behind. You didn't talk, just stripped wordless and got under the shower streams.

When you had your head under water Billy started to talk "Did you really think you were better than me?"

You sighed, not wanting to answer, but you could feel the tension from before bubbling up again. As well as your annoyance. It was the end of the school day after all, you were already exhausted - PE had given you the rest, paired with Billy's rather aggressive way of playing.

"Did you think you could win that game?"

He was really close to you, under the shower right next to your own. You could feel goosebumps spreading over your back, of which you hoped he didn't notice.

Billy let out a low chuckle "Well, (Y/L/N), you will be met by reality-"

You didn't let him finish, but pushed him against the wall, pressing your lips on his, hands already on his waist.

You could feel him getting turned on immediately - he kissed you back roughly, opened his legs, and put his hands in your hair. Also he was moaning into your mouth like a whore.

You let your hands roam his body, his chest, waist, shoulders, back, every bit of skin you could reach. When you started massaging his cock, Billy broke the kiss, and moaned against your neck.

"God, just fuck me already", he demanded.

You grinned at him, at which he just grunted "Don't try tellin' me you didn't notice that tension"

"Oh, I won't", your lips were on his as quickly as your fingers were inside him. He was tensed and thight, but also really warm and already wet from shwoering. After a few minutes you decided that he was ready to take all of you, so you pushed your own dick inside of him.

Billy's moan at that was long and stretched, you slammed your hand against his mouth "Do you want the coach to hear us?", he only looked at you with a lazy gaze and it was clear that he was in another world right now.

You started to rock your hips until you had a steady rhythm. God, he felt so good around you, mentally you were on cloud nine. His skin was so hot against your own and all his moans and whines sounded as if you were doing a really good job.

Except for his comments - he was provocating you again:

"Can't do it harder, (Y/L/N), huh?"

"Wow, I didn't know a guy can go this slow"

"You wanna finish me off, or what is this?"

Something inside you snapped. You gripped him roughly getting Billy to groan, and then fucked him as hard as you could. He had been too bitchy for you to be nice to him. But honestly, you didn't think Billy minded the current circumstances that much considering how loudly he was moaning in pleasure.

He was so submissive right now, you had never seen him like that before, but you absolutely loved it. Hot skin against yours, hair to grip with your hand, an arched back and a boy moaning like a bitch, cockdrunk because of you. What more could you want?

"P-please", he whimpered.

"Please what?", your voice, surprisingly, even to you, was firm and your words clear to understand even though your mind was clouded with lust just as much as Billy's.

"Please, let me come", he sounded so whiny, you almost chuckled.

"No."

And then you let yourself get lost in pleasure, coming inside him, which was what you had wanted all along. This made the whole session much more enjoyable for Billy as well, (he secretly loved it when he could get a top to come inside him, but don't tell him I spilled that).

Now, all he wanted was his own release. His dick almost ached from all the arousal he felt, it was already leaking so much precum. But Billy wouldn't touch it for the life of him. He wanted to be good for you.

"Aw, poor boy", you grabbed his neck, pulling his back into your chest "You wanna come so bad?"

"Y-yes"

"Then beg."

Fine. Then, Billy supposed, he would do that. He really was at your mercy right now, even though he hated it (but not really).

"Please, (Y/N), I wanna come so bad, please let me come"

"God, you're sexy when you beg." - Source for this sentence: TikTok

You were kissing his neck, sucking bright red hickeys into his skin and you could feel and hear how much Billy loved that. He leaned his head to the side, giving you more skin to work with, he moaned, and pushed your head with one hand in your hair.

Slowly, you started to turn him around, his back against the tiles of the locker room's showers to give him more hickeys, this time wandering from his neck to his collar bones, chest and stomach until you were sucking at his hipbone, Billy's moans had gotten weak. Some tears were running over his cheeks from all the stimulation and pleasure.

"I'll make you come.", you said, kneeling before him already.

"God, fuck- yes, please", Billy pressed the back of his hand against his lips when you started to smirk "Good boy" He was, to no surprise, such a slut for praise, you figured when his blue eyes landed on yours in an instant. With your smirk only growing you started to suck on his pink, swollen tip.

At this point, Billy was only capable of groaning, but his hand found its way into your hair, when he came down your throat, a silent plea for you to swallow, which you did. He kind of earned it.

When you got back up again, you grabbed him and you rinsed off together. Billy was still in a headspace, in which he was glad about anything kissing-related, so you guys were basically making out under the water. It was a very nice finish to the rather rough fucking from before, which you both enjoyed.

You dried off and put clothes back on wordlessly, but not missing each other's tired smiles. You shouldered your backpack when Billy got over to the mirror to fix his hair.

He groaned "You're so dead, (Y/L/N)."

There were hickeys EVERYWHERE, on his neck, trailing their way under his shirt and due to Billy never buttoning it up, one could see that they even went under his pants.

You just chuckled, coming up behind him, and pressed your body against his back, closing your arms around his middle. Your eyes met his in the mirror.

"But you look so pretty like this", your hand caressed a bit of the red skin "Now, nobody's gonna snatch you away from me, hun"

You kissed his cheek and got out of the locker room, leaving Billy there. You were already excited to how he would show up tomorrow and how this would continue. You were almost certain that Hargrove wouldn't leave it at that.

[brandogenius]

Mmmmm what about, headcannons on your interpretations on the different ways that the boys would ask you out/ you would ask the boys out?

Other thoughts:

I think that regardless of what she did, julien would say “ Can I be your girlfriend?” ( Idk why it gets me all melted and shit, probably cuz we’re used to “ will you be my girlfriend”)

Imagining Pheobe who’s the friend that would spam your comment section after you post something ( barking like a dog frfr)

And one time she replied to another commenter who went “one chance🙏🏽” and she replied “she’s mine, can you fight?” or something and y’all were in the same room. You looked up from your phone and went “ I’m yours huh?”

Pheobe: ” yep”

You: “Okay then”

Then you replied to her comment “ hers❤️ I would still recommend you know how to fight though.”

LUCY I imagine she sat you down at her house. Maybe she’d set up a backyard movie. Reasoning being to play an unreleased song. You didn’t know why she was so nervous, she pulled out her laptop and a projector started playing a video with the song in the back onto the wall from the projector. At first it seemed like a song about yalls friendship.

As the montage went on with the pictures and videos, and the song got more personal, you realized that, this was a confession?

Then at the end of the song, there was a voice snippet of lucy talking, saying how she was grateful that she met you and how she’s so glad you’re in her life. Then she mentioned the first time she starting feeling differently towards you compared to anyone else, and how nervous you made her. Then at the end she pops the big question.

-🐹

OOOOOO!!!

‼️RPF‼️

HC - the boys & reader - asking you out

[Phoebe]

phoebe would be the type of person just like you said ^^ you’d post cute photos of yourself and phoebe would be your number one hype dude in the comments “BEAUTIFUL” like that lady gaga meme “AMAZING TALENTED BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS”

the two of you would go off to this nice little beach and take some photos but you see phoebes story just as she posts something and it’s a photo of the beach but you’re in the background and she has a heart on it. “that’s cute” you showing phoebe her story, liking it. “nah. you’re cuter” this has you lifting your head, phoebe grinning at you. “am i now? say, it is kinda late huh? what about we get some dinner? me and you” you kinda were hoping she’d understand where you’re coming from.

“yeah? like a date?” she’s smirking and you nod your head, not being able to get a word out before she’s grabbing your hand and dragging you to the nearest restaurant”

[lucy]

lucy is the type to be like play flirting with you ALL THE TIME same like phoebe but mostly irl if it makes sense? two of you could be cuddling together bickering like an old married couple. phoebe gagging in the corner like “get a fucking room” the two of you just cuddled on the couch, hands twirling some strands in your hair. lucy taking fake offensive to phoebes comment like “damn. you really are being homophobic right now - you hearing this shit?” and she looks at you and you’re nodding your head like “i can’t believe this shit”

she’s like “i can’t believe you’re being mean to me and my girlfriend” and it has everyone raising an eyebrow like 🤨🤨🤨 and she’s like “i mean - uh “ and turning to you and you’re there like “take me out to dinner first sweetheart then we’ll go further” and she’s like “say no more. tomorrow 6pm”

[Julien]

jb would be waiting for the perfect moment. to she’s been preparing ALL WEEK. getting hype from the boys “you can do it! you can do it!!” i like to imagine you work in a flower shop🤭🤭 so she walks in one day looking at the flowers trying to hype herself up to talk to you. not even realising you’re watching her with that small smile on your face.

“you looking for anything in particular?” this kinda startles her so she grabs the first bouquet she finds and hands them to you like “yup yup wanna buy these” and you’re laughing to yourself like “these are the display flowers. are you sure you were looking for these?” and she’s cringing at herself like shit fuck shit- “would you like to grab a coffee with me? maybe now- or later after your shift if you’re free- because if not that’s totally fine” but you’re stood there like :o and juliens there like inner monologue is spongebob screaming in that office as it goes up in flames.

“i’d love to” you say “i actually finish now so it’s perfect timing”

[yuttikkele]

please tell me more about gen z lotf au 🙏🙏

OFCCC!! i wrote a lot more about this than i thought i could, and i feel like i could keep going but i do wish to go to sleep! ty for the ask! (there was also an anon ask with this question, idk if it was you, but i'm just gonna answer this one lol)

the choir boys all know each other irl (obvi they still have choir together). everyone lives roughly in the same vicinity, but no one knows that.

they all met online during the pandemic. possibly through video games, twitter, or tiktok

how did this ragtag group of people all become friends? idk fortnite probably

i don't know much about fortnite, but it seems like it would start some friendships and/or rivalries. maybe minecraft or roblox too.

how they met and became friends is hazy, like how the beta kids became friends in homestuck. point is: they're all friends. pretty much.

some boys are closer friends than others, but they're all mutuals. they're all in like the same community. what community? that is a good question i should probably think of an answer

piggy uses the nickname people bullied him with as his online name. he gets cyberbullied and has ended up on many a cringe account, but it doesn't really bother him anymore. he likes to spread information, but he was a little self-righteous about it before he quit twitter. now he argues with people on instagram. piggy's also a redditor.

ralph usually just watches other people's content, but sometimes he'll post something and it'll get pretty popular because he's ralph and being well-liked is an innate part of his character. ralph does prefer to go out and do stuff than being online all the time.

simon is chronically online. being shy, he gravitated towards the internet. he's definitely a fandom girlie and has a tumblr (hi tumblr). he spreads positivity on the internet all the time. he's one of the good ones fr. i do hc simon as a Christian, so he does spread the Word a lot as an lgbtq affirming Christian dude

jack doesn't spend too much time on the internet. he also isn't allowed a lot of these medias by his parents, so that may have something to do with it. he does get upset when his posts don't get as many likes as ralph's

roger ragebaits and leaves hate comments all the time, but he has moments where he's nice. maurice memer obviously. sam and eric are the voros twins. i don't have too many thoughts about these guys just yet

they voice chat and sometimes video call

meeting each other irl for the first time led to the utter disgust at ralph's blindness in the fashion department

ok onto them reading lord of the flies cause i think this is such a funny concept

they all miraculously start reading lord of the flies as a class assignment at the same time

they all tell each other this and they're all like "loooool that's crazy we're all reading the same book at the same time"

i saw someone on my last post ab this say exactly what im about to say. it is truly the only way to go with this.

everyone's all "oh haha ralph's got the name of the first character AND he's blonde!" "piggy has the same name as peter's online name! haha how sill-" "WHY IS MY FULL LEGAL NAME IN THIS BOOK???"

the last person is jack btw if you couldn't tell

the exact names and character descriptions matching up a little too well with the boys startles them, but they still joke about it A LOT.

i mean, think about it, if you were forced to read this book in class and you find out you and your friends are basically the main characters, you would NOT stop cracking jokes about it.

"'ugly without silliness.' wow jack, william golding really DID put you in his story!"

they do start to get a little more freaked out when, yk, stuff starts going down in the book and they have to analyze it.

piggy's eventually like "OK we, or at least i, have got to figure this out." and he goes and does some research.

aaaaand that is all i can tell you for now :))

i do headcanon a lot of the boys as queer, but my hcs of them as gen z-ers do differ a little from my hcs of them as gen silencers.

piggy is a strict ally, his aunt is an ally, allies all around, until he realizes he is not so straight as he seems and is not really just an ally. bisexual

ralph knows nothing about the sexuality and gender biz he just does what feels right. he's pretty much demisexual/romantic tho.

simon is a gay dude. he is gnc and on the trans spectrum somewhere

jack is the only one using queer slurs, everyone gets onto him for it. he's gay, but he doesn't know it/won't accept it (because everyone in his life is HOMOPHOBIC!!!). when he does finally accept it, he is still using those slurs as slurs he is not reclaiming them.

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

hihihi could u write deryl with an s/o who's really touchy? like- someone who is just really handsy with their lover (consensually ofc good lord) and just likes to play with him, tease him and just touch him at all times and just doesn't care if they're in public? ^^

thank u very much have a nice day ^^

Bound in Physicality (Deryl x Touchy! MC/Reader)

I hope you enjoy this Anon. \( ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ )/

A/N: Deryl doesn't have a crush on Jess in this y'all, dwdw.

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Physicality: the fact of relating to the body as opposed to the mind; physical presence.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I think it’s been well established just how touch-hungry Deryl is. Mans is a fucking golden retriever if I’ve ever seen one. He’s the embodiment of the physical touch love language.

When you both meet; and you immediately offer a handshake? He’s thrilled. Any form of contact brings him such grandiose levels of joy it needs to be put on the Guinness World Records.

If you’re an outgoing person like him, you both are like magnets to one-another, it’s genuinely crazy how well you get along.

Deryl seems like the type to have a really good intuition about people, so if he determines you’re good, along with asking the others for their (hopefully positive) input, he’ll adore you.

Your friendship would consist of one of you just jump-scaring the other, either with one spawning behind the other, or through sudden tickling (consensual obviously).

It’s genuinely not even surprising when you both started dating, like it was the most generic pairing most people thought of.

Apart from the more…uh…romantic things, the alteration from friendship to datingship isn’t drastic.

If you’re both extremely into hugging and clutching fearfully onto each other, you both are gonna do that a lot. (hint hint you’re both fearing the very majestic Brittney Claire muahaha)

Expect a fuckton of bearhugs of appreciation, mostly due to the fact he’s just happy you exist, nobody else in his friend group, apart from maybe Crowe, allow him to smother them, so having you as an outlet is wonderful for him.

If you were to suddenly hug him in public, he’d be gracelessly trying to get back at you with tickling for the rest of the day.

You’ll both be eyeing each other’s hands out of paranoia for the inevitable tickle rounds you have (my irl friend did this and I’m still traumatised smh still love him tho)

Not much to say other than: Very. Happy. Man.

[frikatilhi]

sorry to be the bringer of angst/negativity(?) in this here askbox, dont answer if u dont feel like it, but i just wanna let out some strange sadness i feel lately

but am i the only pessimist bojere bitch here? like the reason i ship them hard is because i think what they portray is so beautiful and cute? And that irl them are most likely aight friends at best and a lot of stuff are just exaggerated for the publicity? like i can believe maybe jere really is into the friendship at best but that's abt it?

idk, i've just been disillusioned by a lotta friendship/rpf that are milked to high heaven, only to end up being "for the shippers" and that they dont like each other at all?

all i ask is copium/pep talk that will make me believe somehow that the deep friendship they portray in public/socials mirror what they actually have.

soz for being cringe

:((

Oh no, anon, I understand! This kind of thinking can easily make you feel like you're all alone, because we are supposed to stay positive and firmly in delulu land and ignore the stuff that doesn't fit the narrative.

This got long so snip snip

But for what it's worth, leaving all the shipping stuff aside, I do happen to believe the friendship is very real and just as deep as they portray. If anything, I think Bojan seems to be downplaying it instead of hyping it, keeping it more private instead of posturing on social media. When they talk about each other, they seem very genuine.

I could have bought the argument about exaggarating it for publicity during ESC, I mean, the contestants and especially JO were all out there making friends and creating content and buzz about it, feeding off each other's popularity. I remember thinking that myself - oh, that's cute, what a nice bromance, but I am SO over that kind of narrative, straight friends being huggy for clicks, I want the real thing, I want the happy ending, not settling or falling for anyone's media strategy any more. And it kinda worked, didn't it? 7 points from the Finnish public!

Looking back, a lot of the cute insta stories were staged and purposefully filmed so I can see what you mean. (Also looking back, there are also many moments that were NOT like that, my favourites being the dinner date and everything that happened after the final.)

But then, Tavastia 1.0 happened, and that's when it all shifted for me. You mean Bojan dropped everything and flew to Finland, just to see Jere, just to hang out without an actual agenda (yes, he dropped in on the gig but that wasn't the purpose of the visit)?? And they went to karaoke and watched Twilight and Bojan hung out with Jere's friends when he had a gig out of town?? And it was a month after they had seen each other that they decided to actually keep that promise to visit each other and not let their friendship drop and their connection fade? You mean that actually happened??

And after that we've learned that they talk to each other regularly (like, once a week?) and share values and likes and love together. Bojan has been more quiet about it, sure, but (and now we enter into speculation land) he did seem to be a bit spooked about all the attention, I mean, who wouldn't freak out a little when people start obsessing over your new friendship and following your every move and social media click and write stories about you?

And Nordic Tour was... did you see that? Everything that happened (that we saw)? If it was only for publicity (publicity for what?? At this point, why do they still need it?) it was way too much and most of it totally unnecessary. Those were two people who genuinely enjoy each other's company.

Yes, they live far apart and rarely have time to see each other, but that doesn't mean their connection isn't real and deep and important.

[shamelesstragedyenjoyer]

Now I'm curious, how would you rank the batfam based on how you'd get along irl??

In a scenario where I know their secret identities, and there’s a professional, almost co-workers-like dynamic, I think it'd varie greatly from one wherein which vigilante roles are completely absent. Among those I'd resonate with most (in the event I was born in their world) are Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, and Jason Todd. It's mainly due to shared backgrounds and similar upbringings, I think. Conversely, interactions with Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, and Damian Wayne might be more difficult for me. Strained, even, due to differences in ethical frameworks, perspectives, class understanding and overall core values. So there's two ratings; one where I'm in their AU and one where they're in mine.

Alfred Pennyworth: 4/10 - He might perceive some of my approaches as unorthodox, but I believe he would grasp the reasoning behind them. Our interactions would be limited primarily to joint missions. We wouldn't be close. | 6/10 In my world about 60% of elderly people seem drawn to recounting their youth to me, perhaps due to my perceived trustworthiness, and I like to think he'd be part of that demographic.

Bruce Wayne: 2/10 - Disagreements on methodology would likely hinder rapport, especially given my skepticism toward billionaires, which might result in minimal interactions outside of vigilante duties. | 1/10. I'd see him as a man-whore.

Dick Grayson: 3/10 - Our interactions would likely be brief and casual, without the potential for friendship. His typical millennial demeanor might clash with my sense of humor. But he reminds me of my older sister, so I can't rate him lower than a 2. The age gap might lead him to treat me like a younger sibling, which I'd find condescending. Certainly not someone I would befriend. | 2/10 My personal envy would breed hostility, resulting in a reciprocal cycle of unkindness between us.

Jason Todd: 8/10 - Especially in a context where we were familiar with each other before his whole "being-adopted-by-Batman" thing. He'd likely resonate with my approach to tasks and comprehend the motivations driving my actions. We're not THAT far apart in age so he'd get my humor, I think. | 4/10 In my world however, because I'd be nervous and there would be a lack of common ground between us without vigilantism.

Cassandra Cain: 2/10 - It would unsettle me to realize she can discern my emotions merely by observing me. While I'm generally transparent, this level of insight would make me uneasy, prompting me to steer clear of her. | 7/10 She shares some personality traits of one of my closest friends. Given my penchant for chatter and her inclination to listen, we'd likely complement each other well and have a harmonious friendship.

Tim Drake: 1/10- He wouldn't understand why I dislike him. And I wouldn't have an explanation. | 0/10. Earth isn't big enough for the both of us (completely one sided beef).

Stephanie Brown: 6/10 - She'd get how I roll, but Tim might have complained to her about me not being nice, so she'd be protective of him. | 10/10 We'd be the kind of girls who were super close in middle school, maybe even a bit too much. We'd drift apart in high school or college but still think about each other now and then, though not enough to reach out and become friends again.

Damian Wayne: 1/10 - Likely would perceive me negatively, interactions would be minimal. | 0/10 I just don't see us getting along.

Duke Thomas: 9/10 - He'd totally get my approach and might even be up for joining in (Bruce would see me as a bad influence). We'd both be game for pursuing each other's not-so-great ideas. Would have tons of fun but also engage in meaningful discussions about race, religion, politics, economics, society, art and allat. | 7/10 I can’t see myself being 100% comfortable around a man despite that, so that's how far it'll get, sue me !

Barbara Gordon: 4/10 - Like Dick, she'd likely see me as a kid, which would irk me because I'd want to be seen as an equal. However, since she's a woman, it'd feels a tad less patronizing and more maternal, so she gets one extra point in my book. | 6/10 She's that nice employee at the bookstore who takes my search for a specific book I don’t remember the name of super seriously. But we would not be friends.

To @voiddaisy who asked me a similar question, this is for you too ! Thanks for the ask !

[oatlystrawberryicecream]

Who did you think have the most possibility of being on jason's side (batfam)? Not necessarily accepting his ideals but understanding where he came from and not antagonize him for it (unlike someone) and idk man take his side rather than bruce when theyre arguing or something??

Because i could only imagine other characters who arent batfam that would actually understand jason and choose him and not the so called family, idk man that 'fam' is so toxic i think its a cult

probably none of em? because of how dc likes to frame things so that even if batman is wrong he is still supposed to be the one you root for. that plus a love for status quo is why he never gets realistic consequences.

i do think a lot of them see where he is coming from and sympathize. and it is with heavy personal bias when i say i want it to be barbara. i think jason and barbara friendship is such an underrated one. it is not a diss at all when i say jason is not as resilient as babs, and while irl no one should compare/contrast responses to life changing trauma, i think in story exploring why things are the way they are and what is different about them is very interesting. even better if they struggle to accept the differences and have to work to see past their own stuff to keep the friendship. that is so interesting and emotionally satisfying if done right. plus she is one of the few to have known jason as robin.

jason and duke seem to click pretty well but idk if that matters because opposing batman to his face is maybe too much to ask.

it might be dick depending on if he has 18 other things to be concerned about that day or not. he will oppose batman if he needs to but how much time and energy he can devote to bruce and jason’s endless years long unresolvable issues will vary.

i would love to see people take jason’s side sometimes and i think it could be nice to see how differently that happens for different characters. i do think cass and jason should interact as little as possible, barely acknowledge the other exists. cass is the one who i do not want to find any acceptance of jason’s perspective from. neither of them should change their mind or budge at all on their beliefs because of the other one. that doesnt mean she has to be a yes man for bruce though, she can choose to sit out unless b feels like he needs to violate his son’s autonomy again.

[tea-and-secrets]

So I have this ex and found out something recently

Context: I have BPD and I’ve known it for a while, been diagnosed since 2020. I’ve got a good handle on it and treat people kindly and don’t lash out and tbh. If you met me IRL you could go for a pretty long time without knowing I’ve got it. But privately it is so hard to deal with.

I get so obsessive about stuff, and mean. And weird. And I know thought crimes aren’t a thing and most of me doesn’t think this stuff but the BPD part of me does. And when I can’t get a handle on an urge…

Like ok recently. I had this ex of mine and the relationship was…codependent. Toxic but not in an abuse way more like, codependent toxicity— it didn’t help that it was a classic “he’s an asshole to everyone BUT me and i was the shy insecure I can fix him” type person at the time typa codependent. With mental health issues on both sides (including s*lf h*rm (which he introduced me to) and s*icidality) and then also a few years after we broke up he dated my best friend, and then cheated on them and I had to be in the middle of that (my best friend and I clown on him for that to this day it was. So mf pathetic and a whole other story)

and then even after we broke up it was this weird vibe between us. But I didn’t wanna get back together. It was more like he was still enamored with me and I was just happy to have someone care about me deeply as a friend. And I guess I liked the power imbalance a little too. When I look back at our convos I cringe. But it was nice having someone I’ve known that long still care about me in that way. Someone who would pick me up in his car at the drop of a hat if I needed help. And I know he only did it because he was still into me. Still codependent and weird.

But anyways. I stopped talking to him a few years ago because of some behavior of his I couldn’t tolerate. I’ve been spending the last few years healing/getting over that codependency and the way our relationship and friendship made me feel (both good and bad) and how it fed into my BPD, obsessive tendencies, jealousy and toxicity. And getting better. I’ve made good progress and probably in a year or so I would have found myself full closure, even with my BPD!

But recently I realized on accident that he’s fully blocked me on EVERYTHING and let’s be clear here, he’s not a block people type of person—- he’s an actual asshole but he literally cannot care enough to block people and never has. He’s not even on social media often. He did however get a new girlfriend recently (he’s had a few over the years so me being in OR out of his life has never been an issue with that) and it seems like he blocked me around the same time that happened.

wtf????? Why does this bother me so much. It feels like I just had my closure ripped away from me. It feels like something that was done TO me which like, it was?? But I guess I didn’t need to know he was still thinking about me while I was still thinking about him yk??? Like that’s either a strong emotional thing that he decided to do that’s totally out of character or his girlfriend stalked my Instagram after realizing he followed me and made him block me. Which makes me feel some type of way. Like that was my chapter of MY life that he forcibly took 💀 that’s what it feels like in BPD headquarters anyways. OR his girlfriend was threatened by someone he doesn’t even talk to. Which BPD headquarters wants to take as a compliment. I cannot win.

The day that happened, I made a fake insta for a fake person and made it look as legitimate as possible just to try to follow him on insta and keep tabs. I like. Spent a good hour on it too. It was obsessive. I stopped just short of actually following him. Bc I feel like. That would be crossing a line.

But it’s hard not to follow through and be toxic and weird. And ok I know people have done worse with BPD, I’ve even done worse while much younger. But I’m at an age and a place in my progress where this feels so. UGH. I just. I don’t act on things like that often anymore bc USUALLY i can force the urge and obsession away. I feel so gross even having done that. But I still won’t delete the insta. And I want so badly to like basically cyberstalk this guy so I have “control” over the situation again. I literally don’t even wanna talk to him I JUST wanna keep tabs on him. I’m having a hard time not thinking about this. The only thing that’s helping is talking to friends about unrelated stuff but as of now we’re long distance and I gotta wait til the weekends.

I wanna be clear here I’m not gonna go any further bc I don’t think I could live with myself if I did, and I know I’m better than that. But the confession box is a confession box lol

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