#their complicated relationship is going to be the death of me istg

[sonik-kun]

Jiang Cheng being described as a "sentimental fool" is perhaps one of the only rumours confirmed to be true about him. The condition Chenqing had been kept in, well cleaned, in working condition and carried on his person is a testament of that.

We see that in the scenes prior that Jiang Cheng cherises his belongings that he values and cares deeply for (he is noted to clean his sword regularly, a valued possession of his, clearly). Chenqing, giving its sentimental value and who it belonged to, was thus also a cherished item of his.

Jiang Cheng really is all bark and no bite. And Wei Wuxian was wrong to assume that he vehemently hated him all these years. His feelings towards Wei Wuxian were complicated but despite all the talk and all the rumours, we can infer from this piece of evidence that he truly didn't hate Wei Wuxian. The condition Chenqing was kept in is proof of that and I believe that was what MXTX was trying to convey when she included this fine detail.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 41

chapter 62:

1. petition to abolish the games, if not for their lack of morals, do it for james potter

2. regulus fussing over james >>>>>>>>>>>

3. 😳 fiancé discussion

4. “There's a war on, and James wants to plan his wedding.” oh no. oh no. oh no. he’s so me fr

5. omg not reg wanting to see sirius and projecting that onto james 😭😭😭

6. they’re having a sleepover and i’m going feral over it

7. i’m not really mad at alice for all they’re saying, but i don’t think james deserves to hear it like this, or even be treated this way over frank’s death. they all knew the risk. frank made a decision, knowing the risk. james should not have to feel that eternal guilt

8. okay i’m kinda mad at alice, but i don’t really blame her per se. she’s grieving and is saying hurtful things she might not otherwise say. but it doesn’t make what she said okay. this is all so complicated

9. wolfstar deserves peace. give them peace istg. sirius doesn’t deserve these nightmares

10. *untraumatizes your blorbo* FUCK IT BACKFIRED! HE HAS MORE TRAUMA NOW

11. “"Fucking hell," Sirius hisses, clattering into the open chair next to Remus with an aggrieved air to him, eyes bulging as he drops his plate on the table. "I just had three different people corner me in the line to fucking flirt with me. Nevermind that I'm less than two weeks out of fucking Azkaban or anything, and when I mentioned that, they started, like, cooing at me. One of them offered to give me fucking sponge bath."

"What?" Remus' head whips around. "Who?"”

yo, those people should be scared. remus is in protective mode

12. the reason tension is so fucking high in the phoenix is probably because there are no fucking celebrations or events

13. i love how the gang is together, laughing and joking 😊😊

14. remus is a genius and i love him for putting the peices together about vanity and vespa

15. going insane over vanity’s impact in winning

chapter 63:

1. the districts are immune!!!

2. dorlene having sex after a mission is so them

3. “”I want to die with your head between my legs."” REAL

4. i am unamused 😐 dorcas and marlene should Not be discussing their after-war plans and what they’ll be doing when they’re old

5. “Two bodies and one heart” used to describe lily and remus has me in PIECES

6. mary and lily getting to have sex (that actually means something to lily) >>>>>>>>>>

7. also i’m so glad that sapphic sex was written to be that soft, intimate, and beautiful. especially with a trans woman. i feel like i never see sex scenes with trans women that aren’t completely fetishized

8. reading a jegulus fight has me feeling like an eight year old that walked in on mommy and daddy yelling over finances

9. 😭😭😭😭 not barty further spreading rumors about him being james and reg’s whores. this is so funny y’all

10. also not james teasing reg about having baby names picked out, only to reveal that reg literally has baby names picked out

11. demisexual sirius having a complex relationship with sex and desire (all the asexual part and all the very very horny parts) is literally my favorite thing in the world. i have never seen an demisexual character so similar to myself as him.

12. 😭😭 not remus cumming in his pants just cause he was slammed into a wall lmao

[iamhereonlytobeanunstableshipper]

Ok so. I just saw a Reddit comment (idk why I get on reddit fandom cause it always ends up making me mad) saying that the Alastor and Husk scene was probably the first time Alastor was that violent towards Husk because of him talking back to Al in the first place.

Aka, Alastor isn't abusive to Husk, except for that one time. And ISTG that comment made me want to crawl into the darkest pit of hell (ha, get it?).

SO, let's explain why Alastor's treatment of Husk isn't a one time thing.

Husk and abuse: a character analysis.

First of all, let's explain Husk's personality and why he acts the way he does.

Husk's character is presented to us as a grumpy old alcoholic who only wants people to leave him the fuck alone. He doesn't care about the hotel, about any of its members, or about Alastor's plans. He doesn't want to collaborate, he doesn't want to be there, and he doesn't care enough to act as though he does.

But, reality is:

Husk cares. Way more than he wishes he did.

He doesn't show it often, but he cares. He shows it when he calls Sir Pentious, Charlie, Vaggie and Angel out at the beginning of Masquerade, and ofc, he shows it with Angel throughout this whole chapter.

(I find the heart motif on Husk's demon form to be very interesting, actually. I like to think that one of the things Husk hates the most about himself is that, as much as he wants to fake otherwise, as much as he sees it as a weakness, as much as it just complicates everything, he cares. And death taunts him with that, displaying for everyone to see the heart he so desperately wants to hide.)

Also, Husk is very good at reading people. He hates fakeness, he hates lies, he hates people being dense because they're trying to ignore a reality about themselves.

All of these things get on his nerves enough to show that he, in fact, cares.

And he sure as fuck loves (maybe a bit too much) winning an argument against someone who's pissing him off.

So, let's go to Alastor.

A while ago I saw an amazing post (that now i cant find aaaa if someone finds it pls let me know) that talked about how this isn't the expression of someone who's just been beaten at poker, but it's an expression of sadness and betrayal.

This post implied, therefore, that Husk and Alastor had built a previous relationship of trust before the betrayal, either platonic or romantic (which had been just manipulation from Alastor's side, just like he's now doing with Charlie)

If we take this into account, it makes more sense why Husk would care about Mimzy being trouble. Not only for the safety of the rest at the hotel, but also just a tiny little bit, for Alastor's own safety.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very sure that Husk hates Alastor, but there's this tiny, annoying part of him that can't help but care.

So, let's cut to the infamous scene.

Husk didn't confront Alastor because he had never been violent towards him before. Husk confronted Alastor because he cares, and because people being stupid gets on his nerves, and because he finds it hard to hold back when he knows he's right.

Also, it had been 7 years since he had seen Alastor. It's normal that he's gained more confidence to confront him.

AND, despite all of this, he was reluctant in the beggining.

In the first screenshot, Husk gets visibly angry at Alastor because of his dismissive attitude while his back is turned at him. But when Husk speaks again, you can see him visibly holding back, choosing his words carefully with that "I mean".

(Go rewatch the scene if you wanna, it's way more clear that way than via screenshots ksdldf)

Compare this to the much more accusatory way Husk was calling out Chaggie, Sir Pentious and Angel in back chapter 4. Husk is being careful with Alastor.

Despite all we know about Husk's personality that leads him to warn Alastor about Mimzy in the first place, Husk still holds all of that back.

Why? Cause he knows better than to say something that might anger him.

It's only when Alastor touches Husk and calls him his pet that Husk loses his temper.

As we know, Husk has VERY strong personal boundaries (probably some of them come from Alastor's touch itself)

Alastor trespassing his boundaries is what makes Husk stop thinking logically. He's pissed, and he hates Alastor, and he hates how he makes him feel so powerless, so insignificant, like less of a human.

And he bites back.

The comment I saw implied that Husk said the "big talk for someone who's also on a leash" because he thought it wouldn't have any major effect on Alastor, and he unknowingly touched a touchy subject.

But this is even slightly out of character for Husk. He didn't say it because he didn't think it would make Alastor mad, he said it because he knew it would make him mad.

Husk is fucking amazing at reading people. He knew it was a touchy subject. He wasn't thinking about consequences, he was thinking about pissing Alastor off, about regaining control.

(He's a gambler, cmon. Searching for control and power without minding the consequences is his thing.)

This is NOT a "what the fuck is he doing?" face. It's an "oh no, not again" face.

And immediately, he tries to take it back. The rush of making Alastor mad passes away the moment he pulls out the chain, and Husk knows what's coming.

Alastor has done that before. Judging by Husk's body language, there's NO way on earth he hasn't.

One VERY important thing to take into account is: victims have personalities.

Of course, victims tend to have unifying factors in their trauma responses due to similar experiences, but overall: a victim isn't an archetype, it's a person.

There are different types of abuse. Everyone reacts differently towards abuse.

Saying that Husk isn't being abused by Alastor just because he talks back is. Well. Kinda weird, isn't it?

(Maybe I'm exaggerating but doesn't it sound like victim blaming a bit??)

The important thing is that this is how Valentino and Alastor treat Angel and Husk:

Yes, they are different types of abuse. Yes, Angel and Husk's reactions to it are different.

But this doesn't make one kind less valid than the other. And just because Alastor isn't sexually abusive to Husk, that doesn't mean Husk's abuse is "less important" (this isn't a competition, ffs)

Husk's personality, Husk's hatred of stupidity, Husk's reactive nature, Husk's strong boundaries, don't automatically disappear when he's talking with his abuser. He's still Husk.

And yet, we can still see the signs of abuse, such as Husk holding back at the beginning because he knows what Alastor may do if he's mad, or him flinching away slightly when Alastor turns suddenly to look at him, or him trying to take back what he just said immediately because he's scared of the consequences.

And, let's be serious. Alastor is a serial killer. He enjoys watching people suffer. He enjoys knowing that people fear him.

And, since he's on a "leash", as Husk said, I'm very sure this hurts his ego a whole lot. So, it makes sense that he loves feeling that he has control over the souls he owns, that they fear him, to forget he's not completely free himself.

It's not so far fetched to assume that Alastor gets a quick and an ego boost out of seeing Husk like that, terrified and shivering on the ground. So I don't believe he hasn't done it before.

(And I mean, even if this only happened the one time we see it in the show, it would still be abusive?? It would be Alastor using his power to physically and psychologically torment Husk, which is abuse, even if it's only once ((which i highly doubt)))

In conclusion: Alastor is an abuser. There's no way around it. And Husk is a victim of abuse.

Sorry this got long SLKDS

Tbh I think everything I said here is pretty obvious?? Like to me that scene always read as a way of the show telling us Alastor's true colors once no one's watching, and the way he treats Husk. Like, it didn't even cross my mind that it might have been an isolated occurrence.

But the comment had around 50 upvotes so?? Idk I just wanted to rant about this lmao

[tacky-optic]

dude if loopzoop-- LOOP. ZOOP. --of all things works/ is popular, then goop works too. goop rules. wtf is wrong with twitter

istg you have no idea how much the 'word and/or word' thing bothers me lmao. i tried so hard to curb that habit but my brain just would not let it go. i definitely want to rework zenigoe, fujigoe, and jiglup (jiglup... why must you elude me...) but man is that death grip strong. head remains empty

thanks for the rb (and gracing my feed with goop (loopgoop?? very cursed) 👍)

while i'm here i might as well wave at the other rb'ers-- not required reading but def encouraged.

@samuraivibes i really dig og thieves for lupgoe honestly. i see the vision. the generational link. it tracks, it makes sense.

@caseyjonesisinthehouse god i wish i could take credit for hattrick. i wish that were me I WISH, but alas some genius started that years and years and years ago and now we're here, wondering where the hell the sport connotation fits in lmao. all good things come in threes but these two can't seem to nail down the third for the life of em yknow

idk either @dagmartoons. i wish i knew. maybe i could check out what rwby's got going on, examine them and tf2's ship nicknames under a microscope or something. can't take credit for "it's complicated" either, but at least it won't drive me insane because i know where it came from lol. kudos go to the mutual who came up with what was initially a joke about relationship statuses. bayonet tracks-- the reasoning's there. i dig it. AND SEE ITS HARD ISN'T IT?? what are you lugoe WHAT ARE YOU

@eva-of-the-sea oKAY OKAY I CAN ACTUALLY TAKE CREDIT FOR FATALEBULLET. that was my one allocated bigbrain moment for that particular month and i'll stand by it. in my very unhumble and deeply conceited opinion, it fucks. "certain death" is pretty solid ngl-- the "i am going to kill you one of these days" "ok :)" vibes are palpable between those two. and hell and back's definitely on the right track, but once again, that goddamn "___ and/or ___" pattern. the bane of my existence. how does the tf2 fandom do it

SHIP NICKNAMES. dunno if they're anywhere else they're pretty prevalent in the tf2 fandom, so i thought it'd be fun(ny) to try 'em out here with lupin ships--

Pairings: Luzeni - LoopZoop Jigzeni - HatTrick Jiglup - Ride or Die Fujigen - FataleBullet Fujilup - It's Complicated Fujizeni - No Chaser Zenigoe - Sword and Shield Jigoe - Weapon of Choice Lugoe - ??? (lugoe eludes me, please help </3) Fujigoe - CherryBlossoms

Bonus OT4's (for funsies): /Z - Zenigata Is Stuck Doing Paperwork /L - Lupin Is In Jail (And We Don't Care) /J - Jigen Stepped Out For A Smoke /G - Goemon Is Off Training /F - Fujiko Made Off With The Loot

some of these're literally over a year old, lol. no idea why i haven't thrown this out to the Greater(ish) Lupin Community sooner. all of these are still open to suggestions of course-- i'd be lying if i said that wasn't the whole point of this

[silenteyes]

If Wei Wuxian Grew Up In Different Sects (or with our lovely Rogue Cultivators)

ft. fanfictions I’ve read for each of them - excluding Yunmeng Jiang Sect

Warnings: Spoilers for MDZS, Canon-typical Yu Ziyuan and her treatment to WWX, a few uncensored cursing

Yunmeng Jiang Sect

Clearly, we know that he and the Jiangs have a- complicated relationship. With Jiang FengMian it’s on a thin line, and though it’s clear he cares for WWX - JFM still sees WWX as just a disciple, not a son because the last words he says to WWX are “A-Ying, A-Cheng... you must look after him.”

With Madam Yu it’s clear that their relationship is unhealthy, she basically abuses him. With Jiang Cheng it’s also unhealthy - as much as I loathe to say it, they will NEVER get the reconciliation we want because WWX has done too much for JC to forgive and JC and his anger issues are not safe for WWX. The only ACTUAL healthy relationship he’s got in the Jiang Sect is with Jiang Yanli. She forgives a lot and it’s clear she loves WWX.

Gusu Lan Sect

Ah - yes, this one. In all honesty, if he WERE to be found by the Lans he would’ve probably be well-behaved since he was just a child and easy to, how do I say it - teach. 

He might still have his playfulness but it would be toned down quite a lot. I also like to think that he would get along with Madam Lan and most probably prevent her death. This may be an unpopular opinion, but he and Lan Xichen would get along well, and LXC would be the one to make him comfortable first. WWX would still grow close with Lan Wangji of course, but if anything happens he would not go to LWJ first.

If they grew up together, I’m sorry - but I can’t imagine that he would date LWJ then. But, you can think the other way around! I don’t boss you and tell you who to ship and who not to ship! 

Fanfiction: ‘Some call it kidnapping. The Lan Clan call it adoption.’ by IceBreeze 

Summary: “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, look!” Wei Ying did a twirl. “I’m the same as you now! Am I pretty? Say Lan Zhan, am I pretty?”

Huan muffled a laugh behind his sleeve as A-Zhan said “Mn,” eyes never once leaving Wei Ying. There was something a little like awe in his stare, like Wei Ying was the only one in the world to him at that moment, and if Huan hadn’t already known that his little brother cared deeply for Wei Ying then that look would have been all the confirmation he needed.

(If A-Zhan knew what marriage and romance was beyond the vague explanations he’d heard then he’d probably already be courting Wei Ying, with all the dogged determination he shows everything he puts his mind to. It’s adorable, and Huan supports it wholeheartedly, no matter what direction it heads in the end).

Or: an AU Wei Wuxian is taken in by the Lan clan instead of the Jiangs.

Qishan Wen Sect

Hm, this one is quite complicated. To be honest, WWX would probably fit in well in the sect, and Wen Ruohan most possibly cares about power, and WWX is powerful so he’d care for him AND Wen Xu. Wen Chao is just there in the background being bullied, I like to think.

WWX would make Wen Qing their head doctor and give her more power, while he would also help Wen Ning with archery. All and all he would be alright in the Wen Sect, but there would still be a couple casualties here and there, because of Wen Chao’s jealousy.

Fanfiction:  ‘ He was brighter than the Sun’ by AncientOceanmelody

Summary:  Wei Wuxian was the head disciple of Yunmengjiang Sect, he was the pride of Yunmeng. Jiang Fengmian see him like a son, everyone (except Madam Yu) love him.

He would do everything for those who were dear to him.

So why do is feel horrible when Uncle Jiang didn't hesitate when he offer himself to the Wens instead of Jiang Cheng?

Why is he crying?

After all, he was just the son of a friend, the son of a servant, is was obvious his Uncle would prefer his Sect over him.

Qinghe Nie Sect

Again, I’m gonna be honest, but this sect would be the BEST one for WWX to grow up in. Nie Mingjue would get along great with WWX (we’re ignoring canon GROWN WWX) and Nie Huaisang has another brother :D

NHS and WWX would use their time to cause mischief and plot stuff while NMJ is like “These are my brothers. They’re annoying. Don’t you fucking dare lay a finger on them.”

Just - THEY WOULD BE THE HEALTHIEST RELATIONSHIP EVER IN ALL THE SECTS! NMJ taking care of WWX and NHS, NHS constantly worrying over WWX and NMJ because they fight (you know- war I mean) and WWX just being the self-sacrificing moron he is and protecting NMJ and NHS

Fanfiction: ‘shades of grey’ by cl410

Summary: This was why he didn’t like to leave the Unclean Realm, Nie Mingjue thought with dismay. Guileless dark eyes blinked up at him, tiny hands clutching at his robes.

Or: Nie Mingjue comes across Wei Wuxian before Jiang Fengmian, and decides Nie Huaisang could use a friend.

Lanling Jin Sect

OH BOY! I just love Jin Zixuan getting along with WWX and being an older brother to him. I would think that if JZX (Not Zixun, I despise him) grew up with WWX they would definitely get along and have a healthier relationship than the Yunmeng Bros. Jin Guangshan would definitely not see the point in having WWX in there, and Madam Jin is much more empathetic and she would be the on to take care of WWX.

You may be wondering - Jin Zixuan is Jin Zixuan. Wouldn’t his pride get in the way of things? He’s not called a peacock for no reason, and yes! I can see why you think that! But look at MianMian! She’s JZX best friend BECAUSE she probably grew up with him, and it’s clear in terms of temperament she’s better than JZX and she might even rival him in swordsmanship. If given the choice to grow up with him, WWX would have an amazing brotherly relationship with JZX, and would most likely accept the fact that WWX is amazing and would be PROUD of him. 

Also JZX’s relationship with Jiang Yanli may improve JUST BECAUSE WWX is there

(I might just be biased, idk)

Fanfiction: ‘Twin Treasures’ by crossdressingdeath

Summary: When Madame Jin happens to come across Cangse Sanren's orphaned son on a trip to Yiling, she can't bring herself to leave him there. Wei Wuxian finds a somewhat different family. Jin Zixuan finds a little brother. The course of history changes accordingly.

(Some things are written in fate, but even fate itself changes.)

Rogue Cultivators - Song Zichen and Xiao Xingchen

Let me point out first that Xingchen is ETHEREAL! HE’S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ON THE PLANET! (Song Jiyang is amazing istg I’ve never watched The Untamed but I’ve SEEN clips of them like 哥你怎样那么美). 

ANYWAYS, BACK TO THE POINT! Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen would be amazing parents, don’t deny it. SZC would be rocky at taking care of WWX at first but he would get the hang of it and be the most over-protective person on the planet and would KILL ANYONE who hurts his family. Xiao Xingchen on the other hand would be the doting and loving parent. He spoils WWX but not as much as SZC (though he would never admit it). SZC and XXC would be the best if you want WWX to have parental figures.

Fanfiction:  ‘Frost moon's sun’ by RenaFair

Summary: Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan had dreamed of founding a sect together, that is until Xingchen heard what happened to his shijie. The two then decides to put their little dream on hold as they care for a pair of tiny hands between them, protecting the little boy with a sunshine smile as best as they can.

Alternately; Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan adopted Wei Ying after his parents' death.

[nochiquinn]

legend of vox machina episode ten: Depths of Deceit OR Monocle Dragur is my steampunk folk metal band

[screams]

"didn't you already watch these twice" bold of you to assume I've stopped screaming from the first time

the barrel reflected in the eye!!

god percy's face when she cuts him. someone went in on that expression.

"she's unarmed!" huehuehue

"we're both engineers, percival" "stop trying to relate to me"

"you are legit fucked up"

I wonder if Pike's crush on Percy will get any play. I literally forgot about it until just now.

percy literally being burned up by orthax

once again, things I missed until I paused: orthax forming a literal hand to shove pike away

"your concerns are appreciated" reminded that "I'm Not Okay" by MCR was on taliesin's first percy playlist. the entire caption was "oh, keyleth."

love that "zippertwat" is going on the list of things they mispronounced and then never bothered to say correctly ever again

usually it's grog that causes those

down down to goblin town

"then trust me" cries

"you're at the bottom of my list" "I have no idea what that means so I will continue to look smug"

love the overhead shot of the people charging the castle

pike's face when scanlan starts hitting on cassandra

percy: [tenth doctor voice] stop it

"you're my best friend! except now you GLOW IN THE DARK" I missed grog

vex this is not the time for your I Told You Sos

catch me downloading these just to get the in-between frames of the way vax looked at his sister

like vex is very much "cool, she shot him down, brother's all mine again" and vax is "I am GRIEVING why are you LIKE THIS"

because he knows he was never going to give vex up or love her any less but she didn't and her anxiety manifested as jealousy and anger bc there are no therapists in exandria

and now that she feels like the danger's passed she's on cloud nine and he is. v much not reciprocating.

ripley just trying desperately to relate to percy on an intellectual level when percy is Not Available, please leave a message with the demon at the front desk

percy taking all cass' ribbing as their old relationship settling back in when she's just actually incredibly bitter

flametongue dagger!!

100% did not remember its name until vax used it as a torch

dragur

the fucking monocle, who gets buried in their monocle

"uncle nathaniel?!"

"which one of my ancestors did you just shame to death"

WAIT. WAIT. did grog do the goddamn people's elbow

he DID travis istg

"I'm not what you should be worried about" incorrect

pike: grog push this grog: :D vax: grog push this grog: fuck you pay me

vex you do not get to be pissy about vax's attitude, you caused this, deal with the consequences of your actions

(not like she caused keyleth's reaction but see above re: her disposition vs his)

"it's a drug factory!" torn between sad bc knowing what happens w/scanlan later and giggling bc dariax rubbing it on his gums in EXU

rogue go nyoom

"bit of a slow learner" he is correct there

the little flash of yellow in her eyes!!

I wasn't sold on cassandra's va before but now I get it

we got the acid trap AND Cassandra Is A Briarwood, ty jennifer muro

ripley flipping him off was extremely funny

"life is far more valuable to you than it is to us" is such a raw fucking line

"be a lamb, would you?" mercer pls I'm already gay

my hc is that vex might have been able to get through to vax more quickly if she hadn't been smug about keyleth.

this is NOT vex hate, do NOT come for me, this is INTERPERSONAL DRAMA and part of vex's arc

but also Oh No If It Isn't the Consequences of My Own Actions

the biggest thing I miss about the stream is being in the character's heads; I can say Vax Is Annoyed With Vex or Keyleth is Worred About Vax But It's Tied Up In Complicated Emotions until I turn blue but I don't have their external internal monologue to defend my positions with anymore. just source: dude trust me

(I also genuinely enjoy hearing them - mostly liam - go in on what they're feeling and why. they don't do it as much anymore but after 1000+ hours of watching them the lines are a little easier to read between)

"vex?" "why are you looking at me?!" you are one of two designated adults and the other is Driving Under the Influence (of Demon)

percy machine broken

vex: we will never abandon you mala: says the person who two days ago was very much contemplating abandoning you

scanlan just starts playing through the fire and the flames on guitar hero

"we need to triangulate its location" ripley stop using big words to sound smart

grog hears "that's incredibly stupid and dangerous" and has no follow-up questions

afaik he doesn't have any acid immunities, just a federation-standard fuckton of hitpoints

now scanlan's cheating at guitar hero

(it's okay, I taped a penny to the green button too)

"since I helped, don't you think I earned my freedom" it's not "helping" if you were also in danger

"is captain winky still there?"

pike started saying "buddies", plural, at this point and I do not know why

"forgot my drawers"

THERE ARE TWO PATHS

now I get to actually listen to scanlan's desperation metal over the credits

[ascaryghost]

Hey I’m the anon who asked about the 💩 and can I just say - THANK you SO much for being so open and honest about something like that because yeah it must feel so uncomfy to unconcerned those memories but I want you to know (if you don’t know already) how insanely helpful it is to read stories like that when you’re struggling with the ideas of “wanting to be sicker” - everyone always talks about how “you’ll be cold all the time!!! So boys will give u sweaters!!!” Nobody talks about the literal shutting your pants in public but because you’re exercising still not taking that as the cue to go straight home - literalky insanely helpful to read and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come in your recovery that you can flat out say “it wasn’t worth it” - I was half expecting the ask to not even be answered so I truly can’t thank you enough for sharing this 🌼🌼🌼you’re a fucking warrior and a champion and I LOVE you ❤️❤️❤️

yea it was honestly no problem sharing that story and i think its rly important as well. and yea istg boys were scared of me (which hm, tbh kinda pog at least they stayed away lol /hj) and did defintily not give me their sweaters, in fact i had to suffer in the winter when the stupid boys opened the classroom windows and i sat there dying of coldness. And the ed coldness isnt glorious its like u literally have no body heat. to anyone who haven't gone through it, think of it like this - everybody has a small little fire deep inside, so even when ur in cold weather ur not cold all the way through. ed cold u dont have that fire and coldness just completely fills you and runs through you and you would do literally anything to get warm again but no amount of layers is enough because really what you are missing is internal warmth and its rly rly rly horrible.

but abt the recovery part, ive gone through recovery but im relapsed like i just wanna make it rly rly clear that what im doing isnt recovery and im def not in a healthy mindset like pls dont do what im doing. i went through recovery and relapsed so that + my experiences w hospitalization and literally being at death's door made me have a very complicated relationship with my ed. like i feel like im rly good at being like "ok no no no we need to fucking eat something rn." like pulling myself up when i go to deep etc cause i never ever wanna go back to where i was before my failed recovery and i know this is what every person with an ed says and then fucking die like years later but i honestly feel like im good at handling my ed so i dont go too deep. Like i dont have any desire to be bonespx because i have been and it sucked, i dont feel invalid bc i dont 'look anorexic enough' like a lot of ed ppl do etc. But yea the sick thing abt eds is that even though u know what ur doing isnt worth it and unhealthy you can still keep getting pulled back into it tbh i have to remind myself a lot of how things used to be to keep myself from falling down the hole. as soon as i find myself looking at bxnespo and thinking "waittt actually..." i have to just stop and make sure i don't go deeper. Anyways my point was pls everyone practice harm reduction this way too, not only keeping something sweet with you in case u feel dizzy etc but please practice it in your mind too. You have to do everything you can to stop yourself from falling too deep into this.<33 pls <33

anyways i love you too even though idk who u are but you seem like a wonderfully sweet person and im sorry all my answers are so long and rambly but like i dont wanna half assedly answer these things bc they are so important i feel like i rly need to explain them thoroughly to make sure nobody gets the wrong msg etc.<3

[konaizumi]

A Tale of a Thousand Stars ep 7 thoughts/reactions

so, the whole tian killed torfun thing, here’s my thoughts: I don’t think tian was the one driving the car because the show has refused to actually say it straight up despite implying it multiple times, so they prob just want us to think that, it was prob his friends driving the car or something, but tian is still involved and somewhat responsible for what happened bc he set up the race which is why he feels so guilty

on tian’s guilt, i think it’s a complicated issue and i think he’s not free of blame in the situation but I do think he is taking too much blame if he wasn’t behind the wheel, and, not to put the blame on torfun exactly, but she did walk out onto a busy street at night, you know, it wasn’t like they swerved up onto the sidewalk and hit her

how many more times is phupha gonna have to watch over tian while he’s unconscious

also not a huge fan of detective nam this ep, while i do think he deserves some answers, i do not think he should’ve gone behind tian’s back like that to get them, he should’ve confronted tian directly

love to see phupha in the casual camo

poor tian, he’s just really got it so rough this episode and he’s already got self-esteem issues then more incidents keep piling on which seem to confirm the negative thoughts that he already has

and it’s difficult bc when tian says the bad stuff wouldn’t’ve happened if he hadn’t been there, like, it’s true, which really makes the situation more complex but i like that there isn’t necessarily an easy fix and that this can’t all be solved with the power of friendship, you know?

i really hope there’s a focus on tian’s mental state and that he doesn’t just magically get better when all the problems are solved and once everyone forgives him because it’s not that easy and I want to see the actual process of healing

not me every episode getting distracted from the dialogue trying to figure out the shapes on phupha’s cameo, i just noticed this ep that some of the brown spots are deer

phupha’s hurt puppy dog face when tian returned the shirt

tian’s hurt face when phupha says he’s not going to try to convince him to stay, like he was so hurt at that moment when he thought phupha wouldn’t even try to fight for him

“don’t you miss your home?” not really, my dude

“then you stay here...indefinitely. Can you?” phupha subtly trying to gauge whether tian would be willing to stay in the village with him if they were to start a relationship

that cute scene where phupha tries to hide the tea sachet

the gay panic is strong this ep

“who said i would offer you the bed?” *offers him the bed*

the gay panic continues, phupha really knows exactly what he’s doing

is it just me or has tian just looked so small this ep?

also, tian is in a tan forest ranger shirt which means he borrowed a second shirt

the only reason phupha keeps implying tian is taking the role of his wife is because tian reacts so cutely to it

im sorry but do these kids not know how to brush their teeth? and is he showing them how on an onion?

when did tian learn cook after nearly burning his house down?

please enough with the torfun comparisons, i know they’re just adding them to shake up tian and for the angst, i don’t think they’d actually go the route of torfun’s spirit being part of tian, but like, p’aof, please just leave tian alone he feels shitty enough as is

also excuse me, dr nam, are you, a medical professional, really trying to imply that torfun’s spirit might be in some way affecting tian bc he has her heart??

tian’s doing that thing again where he complains with a smile but he’s not really complaining

i really want tul to meet longtae and then just watch the chaos they and tian create together

phupha risking quite a lot to get rid of sakda so the village is safe enough for tian to stay

super not into the scene where nam, rong, and yod are flirting with girls even tho they are all implied to have partners - like i get that the point was to emphasize that phupha’s in love with tian but the scene still could’ve done that without the three of them flirting, the girls could’ve just flirted with phupha

istg when phupha said he started thinking about something impossible i 100% thought he was referring him feeling like a relationship with tian was an impossibility and then tian would say something ambiguous that clearly implied that it wasn’t impossible and it would be all cute then he opens his mouth and says tian is like torfun and i wanted to smack him

is it really necessary to add in this tian/torfun comparison plotline? is there not already enough angst????

like the scene still could’ve been super romantic but still angsty bc tian would turn away from the kiss bc he feels like he can’t start something while he’s still keeping secrets

(which i know would just add to phupha’s insecurities but tian’s already got enough on his plate)

however, the way the music hits a discordant note then fades as soon as he says it and the way tian’s smile immediately drops, just like the instant atmospheric mood change was really well done

the whole scene was just really well acted on both sides

“are you going to confess your love to me?” just the way phupha prob meant to say this jokingly but it came out more seriously than intended

also as much as i want them to kiss, i am glad they didn’t during this scene, tian needs to tell the truth before anything can happen (not that i really thought they would kiss during this scene anyway

the way the village came together to rebuild the school hurts bc of what’s going to happen next ep

And the children are just so cute, istg if anything happens to them

if nam is actually telling phupha what he found out im gonna be so pissed at him for taking that away from tian, it really needs to be tian who comes clean about it, especially because he was planning on it, he wasn’t trying to keep it secret forever

what really makes this whole situation worse is that not only does tian have to tell them about torfun’s heart and his role in the accident, but he has to tell them about torfun’s death, which should not have to be his responsibility. The forest rangers should’ve told everyone a while ago, and it’s not tian’s fault that they don’t know. So all the villagers are now going to associate tian with her death simply because he’s the one delivering the news. If they had already known and had time to process before tian got there, i think it would be very easy for them to still accept him when he told them about how he had her heart and he was just trying to carry on her wishes, but now all the feelings they have about torfun’s death (which apparently happened months ago) are going to be directed at tian

phupha please stop your flirting, you’re going to give tian heart failure again

still a good ep even tho the angst was pretty heavy, I’m glad the reveal will finally happen next ep so we can get that out of the way and finally move on, can’t wait for next friday even tho it’ll prob just be even more angst

[maggiecheungs]

2020 ~everything~ wrap

i finally have time to do all of the tag games that people have tagged me in over the past month or so! i cannot for the life of me remember who tagged me in which one, so i’m just putting ~everything~ in one huge post. if i tag you anywhere then consider it a standing invitation to do whichever of these you haven’t done :) in fact, this is me issuing a standing invite to any of my followers who wants to do it :) also, thank you all!

Creator Wrap: Favourite Works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

this collection of philosophy quotes paired with thai bl series, (and its sequel) which is possibly my favourite thing i’ve ever made. for, uh, nerd reasons.

these gifted text post memes i made still make me laugh sometimes

this fic about green from 2gether, which i wrote in the notes app on my phone and published the same day. not my absolute best writing but i am very fond of it <3

i have a bunch fof friend zone dangerous area edits/shitposts which i like, but i’m particularly fond of my fzda as satire headlines (which now has a sequel!)

i also love my crisgood-walmart-lesbian post. i might send it in to gmmtv to try and convince them to do a crisgood-bffs spin-off

+ bonus: since i wrote this list i made this gifset (my first ever!) of jennie panhan in the shipper and i love her too much not to include her on here

+ extra nerdy bonus: this niche meme about Chinese philosophy, which still makes me crack up whenever I think about it

Favourite Creators/Follow Forever

i’ve completely lost track of who’s following who from which blog, so this is just going to be a haphazard, non-exhaustive list of people who i adore/admire/am vaguely intimidated by, mutuality be damned. maybe we talk all the time! maybe we’ve never interacted! maybe i am constantly there in ur tags... lurking... 👀... but if you’re on this list you have made me smile at least once this year and i love you for that alone <3

@wjmild kylie!! you make gifs of arm & tay & lee (separately or in various combinations) & the shipper & and kapook & random fluke pusit cameos & school rangers so i don’t have to <3 ilysm

@janeramida vianey, you have such impeccable taste in general, but your sizzy gifset in particular is so gorgeous it lives in my mind rent free

@applelapis bri, this post was a callout and i want you to know that it haunts me at night as i lie awake staring at the ceiling :((((( i hope you are happy

@gigiesarocha cata, i love it when you show up on my dash bc you have!! such taste!! also, every time you gif gigie i gain five years of life <3 pls continue doing the Good Work

@pvrrish​ eleni, i remeber legit thinking that this was an official poster when i first saw it, it’s so beautiful

@ahysopae​ juliette your khaithird fic is so good and it literally changed the way i think about khai (not an easy feat)

@kurosawadachi angel, whenever i think about grace’s speech i remember your gifset and get literal chills

@doctorbahnjit alexa, you have no right to be as funny as you are. your friend zone edits give me life

@khaotungthanawat sam, you’re probably sick of getting tagged in these lists by random strangers, but i just had to bc your gifsets are Pure Art

@tanwirapong roa, all your gifsets are so ✨iconic✨

faiza @asianmelodrama and rahul @petekaos! yours were the first two thai drama blogs i followed and for ages i lowkey thought of you as my fandom parents.

and some more blogs that make me happy: @curlykytta / @lee-thanat  / @fck-inspector-m / @pangwave / @tichawongtipkanon / @tawanv @kimmonv (violet istg i have spent more time this year trying to figure out how many blogs you have than i have spent admiring your gifsets. & i spend a lot of time admiring your gifsets) / @taytawan / @1akorn and @yihwas (and your radiant lovechild @lakornladies ofc) / @teh-ohaew / @vihokratanas (mel your gifsets are just so gorgeous) / @tootiredtoosadtooangry / @headcompletelyempty / @demiromanticmickey​ / and there are definitely more but my brain is a sieve so apologies if i’ve forgotten anyone!! i love you all!! 

2020 HIGHLIGHTS ✨

rules: list your top 10 shows (bl or not) you watched in 2020 (doesn’t necessarily have to be shows that came out in 2020 though!)

1. 2GETHER & STILL2GETHER

my first thai drama, and even after all the amazing shows i’ve watched this year, it still has a special place in my heart. watching 2gether was the first time i’d ever seen a queer romcom that just... was. for me, by the simple fact of its being, 2gether was revolutionary. and then still2gether came along and took all the best things about the first season and gave us something beautiful and quiet and lovely and just proved to me, once and for all, that queer happiness doesn’t need to justify its own existence. there can be gay cuddles on the beach for no other reason than that we want them. 

2. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

i don’t really have the words for this one but. it makes my heart so very soft.

3. FRIEND ZONE 2: DANGEROUS AREA

season one was mindless fun because everyone was an absolute trashfire and it was hella cathartic to watch, but season 2... wow. i love it for so many reasons: it has messy and authentic queer rep; the characterisation is excellent and i somehow care about all of the characters; amazing women taking centre stage(!); a wlw relationship with lesbian, ace and bipolar rep; multiple interesting plotlines; actual character development; arm weerayut as a chaos gremlin... absolutely one of my favourites of 2020.

4. CHERRY MAGIC

i don’t think i need to explain this one, which is fortunate, because i have no idea how exactly i’d describe the happy-warm-fuzzy-queer-seen-loving-affirmed-profound feeling that rises in my chest whenever i think about it. 

5. THE GIFTED: GRADUATION

confession: i liked season 2 more than season 1 (with the exception of the ending, which we don’t talk about). season 1 was enjoyable and interesting, but for me it was season 2 which made me love this series. it did some incredibly interesting and complicated things (even if it didn’t quite nail the landing): it pushed characters to the breaking point and wove so many layers into the story and questioned its own underlying themes. plus, watching it alongside everyone in the fandom made it 200% better. i love all of you and i love this show. egg girl 5eva.

6. THE SHIPPER

i 100% understand why so many people didn’t like this show, or found it problematic, but through some fluke it absolutely worked for me (even the ending). one day i will write an essay explaining my rationale, but for now i’ll just say that it’s one of my favourite shows about adolescence and queerness and identity and compassion and friendship and love that i’ve ever watched. 

7. YYY

this series is absolutely off its rocker, and it somehow managed to be one of the most affirming shows i’ve watched. it shouldn’t have worked by it did, and i love it so much.

8. 3 WILL BE FREE

absolutely iconic. amazing plot, stunning visuals, great characters, canon polyamory, jennie being incredible... what a series.

9. MANNER OF DEATH

i love the fact that this show exists; i love the mix of crime and romance; i love maxtul’s acting; i love the central relationship; i love bun. i know we’re not even halfway through yet, but this show is doing something special and i’m so grateful that i get to watch it unfold in real time. 

10. CHIHAYAFURU (SEASON 3)

odd one out on my list, but I had to include it. chihayafuru is my all-time favourite anime and it finally got a third season, which is somehow even better than the first two. mashima taichi is one of my favourite characters of all time and his storyline hits me on such a profound level. plus, in the years since i first say this show i’ve fallen in love with classical japanese literature (particularly heian poetry) so i had newfound appreciation for the karuta matches (aka i cried every time someone recited one of my favourite poems)

other favourites: together with me, he’s coming to me, sotus and sotus s, my dear loser: edge of 17, why r u, theory of love, wake up chanee!, gameboys, pearl next door, uta koi (anime), three kingdoms (2010), blood and water (netflix). (itsay would almost certainly be on my list if i’d had time to watch it. same with dark blue kiss, which i had to pause so i could do my assignments)

Final Thoughts

well, it’s been... a year (i don’t think anyone needs a reminder of the details) but writing this post has reminded me of all the amazing shows and people I discovered over the course of it.

thank you to everyone for being so lovely and creative and funny and quirky and kind and passionate. you’re all incredibly awesome people and i wish all of you the very best xx

[laufire]

Rowena for the meme

Why I like them: how could I not??? She’s a great character, AND an absolutely enchanting woman. I could write (very bad, based on previous experience) poetry about her xDD. She’s gorgeous! And witchy! And dramatic! She hits my “older woman of dubious morality” soft spot AND has about everything else going for her lmao.

Why I don’t: I suddenly can’t read.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I still have a few left with her (far less than I’d like! I know she has a fake marriage with Sam in one though xD), but as of now it’s probably 13x12, where she tricks Sam and Dean (they never find out she’s the one who hired the two witches that rob the book from them lol), comes in to save the day~~, has a few bonding moments with Sam regarding their Lucifer Trauma TM -which leads to Sam sneakily letting her get away with the page she was looking for lol... Another great one is where she encourages her sweet grandson (who she liked!) to return to the past knowing he’d die there, to get revenge against Crowley for forcing her to kill the one person she’d truly loved (another child she’d actually loved like a son). This family istg xDDD. 13x19, where she sets out to defy Death and force her to bring Crowley back to life is another contender (theirs is a complicated mother-son bond lmfao).

Favorite season/movie: it’s hard to say because I’ve enjoyed all four so far (well, in terms of Rowena’s storyline at least. I have Opinions on s12 and s13 lol). But I have to say Rowena is about the first character I’ve fully enjoyed (so far) seeing joining the team after being in more antagonistic role, simply because it’s fun xD, and in that sense she was a breath of fresh air in s13.

Favorite line: oh man. She has so many. One thing I’ll say for these writers is that they took advantage of having a theatre trained actress and gave her GREAT monologues lmao. See all these lovely things she tells to Crowley lmfao:

“This demon asks you to equalize credit for his and another's work. Split the baby if you will. Well, then I would well and truly split the baby. I'd cut this pulling, pathetic, grade-grubbing git in two, literally. Then I'd nail his bloody halves to the doors of the court. A reminder to all not to waste the King's time! Whiners beget whiners. You can't reward behavior like that. Why, I never gave in when you asked for sweeties as a child no matter how much you cried. Well, you were a very chunky child, darling. A bit of a bloater.”

“You can't understand my disappointment or my pride. You don't know this but after I left you, after I was forced to leave you, I heard of your death. Your mortal death. I thought you were gone to me forever. Then, hundreds of years later and thousands of miles away, I find you: the King of Hell. And not by luck or accident, you made that happen all by yourself. You're not a mother. You can't know what that pride felt like. How huge it was. But can you try to imagine, for me? Now do you understand why it breaks my heart to see what a colossal numb nut you've become? You've got the crown but you're no ruler, not really. A sad, bored wee boy on the throne who'll flop ass up the second those Winchesters, hunters who'd as soon see you dead as have you to tea, ask you to. You're no king. Not any more. You're their bitch!”

“I hate you because, when I look into your eyes, I see the woman I used to be, before magic, before the coven, when I was nothing but Rowena, the tanner's daughter. A pale, scared little girl who smelled of filth and death. I hate you because, when you were born, your father said he loved me. Then he went back to his grand wife and his grand house, whilst I lay pathetic and half-dead on a straw mat - my thighs slick with blood. I hate you, because if I didn't, I'd love you. But love... love is weakness. And I'll never be weak again.”

Then there’s of course “You say that like it’s an insult. Nice girls, they’re pathetic. Here’s to evil skanks.” (to Dean, after he calls her an evil skank). And the iconique “I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A CAREER WOMAN!!” (to Crowley, after he reproaches her abandonment of him as a child).

Favorite outfit: THIS IS THE MOST UNFAIR QUESTION I’VE EVER ASKED. Seriously, I literally spend all of her scenes making heart eyes at her looks, choosing is too difficult xD

This purple dress.

this blue one (just what you casually wear to break into a creepy house with your new frenemy Sam Winchester)

This purple dressing gown

This backless red dress

Everything she’s worn has been perfect for her, but I have a weakness for the long dresses.

OTP: Sam/Rowena is a great ship. Although if I’m honests, my favourite relationship of hers altogether is with Crowley. I love a good Bad Mom TM dynamic xDD

Brotp: see above. And I’ve enjoyed her (too few) moments with Castiel and Jack. Also Chuck lol.

Head Canon: I choose to believe she and Bela have crossed paths. Because.

Unpopular opinion: idek. Okay, I have one. You know how fandom obsesses over characters that SUPPOSEDLY have a hard exterior but are secretly softies, and that do terrible things to cover that and protect themselves (I’m looking at you Dean stans lol)? Rowena is the actual real deal here. Accept no substitutes xD

A wish: well, it would’ve been NICE if she hadn’t been so unceremoneously removed from the narrative in s15 (I mean, still a better ending than I would’ve hoped given the show’s track record, but I would’ve preferred to have her in the show moving the plot and all). At least it’s one of those endings with possibility~, so fics will be coming xD

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: the show is done and it could’ve been worse lmao. Dead with no possibility of return/no reigning position in Hell, for one.

5 words to best describe them: powerful, creative, meddling, striking, gracious.

My nickname for them: well, I keep calling her my ideal woman lmao.