#thefakingfoodie
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kaleandcrisco · 10 years ago
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Rice Oatmeal Pudding with Poached Rhubarb 
I'm a sucker for rice pudding and puddings in general especially that awful (read: delicious) artificial banana flavored pudding found at Winn Dixie "salad" bars with soggy vanilla wafers in it. What's a food snob? I can't wait to be in a nursing home and shamelessly eat it daily.
I'm not a health freak, hopefully you know by now that I eat pretty much everything -- so if you'd prefer to make real rice pudding with poached rhubarb then by all means do that. I just didn't have the time and instant oatmeal was on hand...Plus it does offer more health benefits and helps you poop so what's not to love? This still offers the sweet creaminess of rice pudding and the cinnamon in the poaching liquid seals the deal as far as a traditional rice pudding wanna-be. Also, raisins really aren't the most exciting things in the world but look at how bright and beautiful the rhubarb is! 
I really just needed a vessel for these stalks before they expired and baking them into a pie or cake seemed a little too traditional and also time consuming. 
Similarly to my poached pears [ http://tinyurl.com/plbssmj ] I poached the rhubarb in a red wine based liquid and the total cooking time was under 20 minutes. 
Ingredients for Poached Rhubarb:  2 cups of water 1 cup of sugar 1 cup of a sweet red wine  1/2 lemon's juice and its rind 1 cinnamon stick 1 table spoon of vanilla extract 1 bunch of rhubarb stalks, coarsely chopped 
Ingredients for Oatmeal Rice Pudding: 4 packets of instant oatmeal ORIGINAL/PLAIN flavor 1 1/2 cups of milk 2 tbsp of vanilla flavored coffee creamer - that's right we are cooking with coffee cream -- what's a food snob? sugar if you so desire Step 1: In a large sauce pan on medium heat add all of the poaching ingredients EXCEPT for the rhubarb stalks, mixing well. Leave on medium heat until the liquid starts to simmer then add stalks. Leave covered for about 10-15 minnutes until tender. Remove with a slotted spoon and cover in a bowl, allowing to chill in fridge while you make oatmeal.   Step 2: In a large saucepan on medium heat, add all of the oatmeal pudding ingredients, mixing well for about 4 minutes until liquid has been absorbed. Add more sugar if need be, more milk if too thick, or cinnamon if that is your thing. Top oatmeal with rhubarb and eat for breakfast or as a healthy dessert option. 
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kaleandcrisco · 10 years ago
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Roasted Lamb w/ Cumin-Lime-Mint Yogurt and Crispy Polenta Cakes with Slasa Verde and Braised shallots
Okay this plate is like 4 recipes in one…So I’m going to keep the ramble to a minimum today. I will say that though the plate looks a little more intricate than most, the cooking level here is still easy — promise. Lamb chops are ready in 10 minutes, salsa verde is made in a blender, and polenta is as easy as making instant grits.
CRISPY POLENTA CAKES: 1 cup of polenta 1 cup of chicken broth 1 cup heavy cream
1: Bring liquids to a boil in a deep pot. Add polenta and cook for 3-5 minutes, continuously stirring. Once cooked, pour into a large, deep baking dish and smooth evenly with spatula. Allow it to sit and congeal in fridge for two hours.
2: Once hardened, using a sharp knife slice sections of your polenta and add them to a hot, oiled pan and cook on medium-high until golden brown and crispy. Once crisp, carefully flip to other side until crispy. Place on paper towel to drain and serve.
SALSA VERDE:
Be experimental here. Use some or all of: mint, basil, cilantro, parsley — basically whichever herbs are looking most fresh and enticing.
About 1 1/2 cup of loosely packed herbs 2-3 cloves of garlic 1-2 lemon’s juices 1/2 cup of olive oil A small handful of almonds S&P
Step 1: toss all dat shit into a blender and blend until you get a slightly chunky paste. Add more oil or lemon juice is it feels too thick.
BRAISED SHALLOTS:
1 cup of shallots, peeled and cut in half 1/3 cup olive oil 1 cup chicken broth 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar 1/2 tbsp light brown sugar 3 tbsp heavy cream
Blanche shallots in boiling water for 4 minutes. Transfer to a hot, deepish pan with olive oil and sautée until browned. Add chicken broth, balsamic, sugar and bring to a boil. Once at a boil, lower heat to a simmer for about 20 minutes, uncovered until it reduces. Add heavy cream and leave on simmer for another 3 minutes. Serve as a side or garnish.
LAMB CHOPS:
Lamb chops, frenched if you are feeling fancy Olive oil Salt and pepper
Plain (greek) yogurt + A dash of cumin, chopped mint, squeeze of lime
Turn broiler on to 370 F. Mix yogurt sauce ingredients together. Set aside.
1: Salt and pepper your lamb chops on each side. By pairs, sear each side for literally 3 seconds on a blazing hot pan. Organize lamb chops in a baking dish. Roast for 6-7 minutes. Remove them and allow them to sit for a few minutes. Plate!
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kaleandcrisco · 10 years ago
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(Gluten Free) Dutch Baby with Lemon Filling
You should 100% make this for breakfast (or dessert) this weekend because I will likely never go back to pancakes (crowd loudly boos me, starts chanting “Traitor! Traitor! Traitor!”).
Sorry I’m not sorry for discovering this INSANELY deliciously light and versatile pancake-crepe-puff pastry-custard-pie-hybrid via bonappetit last week.They made theirs with cinnamon apples and while that sounds DELICIOUS I’m in no huge rush to pop out a million cinnamon dishes, it’s only October. Like I mentioned in my crepe post — you could skip the fillings all together and eat with syrup, Nutella, berries, jams or plain — totally your call.
I am not gluten intolerant nor do I choose to only eat gluten free foods. I just have many friends that are gluten free and as a result I am experimenting with gluten free flours in order to register a taste or cooking method difference. I must say, I tend to prefer the GF version of my dishes. My gnocchi and Dutch Baby were both lighter and fluffier than their glutinous counterparts. I’m not trying to persuade you to stay away from regular flour, I love the stuff, just throwing my research results out there for those who are dabbling with the idea.
Ingredients for Dutch Baby:
4 large eggs, room temperature ¾ cup whole milk, room temperature ¾ cup all-purpose or GF flour 1 teaspoon vanilla extract ¼ teaspoon kosher salt 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
Ingredients for Lemon Filling:
2 lemons’ juice 1/3-1/2 cup of powdered sugar 1 teaspoon unflavored gelatin 2-3 tbsp of cornstarch
1: Turn oven to 425 F. Whisk eggs, milk, flour, vanilla, and salt until smooth. Place your cast iron skillet in oven for 8 minutes so that the base can get really hot.
2: Add lemon juice and sugar (bit by bit) to a medium sized pan, whisking until sugar dissolves. Repeat with cornstarch and gelatin. Heat mixture on med-high heat, whisking well for about 3-4 minutes until it thickens. Remove from heat.
3: Once your pan is hot and ready, carefully add butter to hot skillet by either tilting your pan around and moving butter about like one of those iPhone games that must give people carpal tunnel OR do what I do — unravel the tip of the butter stick and, while holding onto the covered end of the stick of butter, coat the edges and bottom of pan as though it were lipstick. Add about half of batter to bottom of skillet, spreading with a spatula if necessary and then add your filling, followed by rest of batter. Bake until “pancake” is puffed and golden brown around the edges and center is set but still custardy, 12–15 minutes.
Prepare to eat it all in one sitting.
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kaleandcrisco · 10 years ago
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Butternut Squash and Ricotta Gnocchi w Roasted Chanterelles, Kale, Almonds, and Parmesan in Thyme Brown Butter
I’ve never cooked with butternut squash before and I’ve only ever eaten and made potato gnocchi but I gotta say this was a subtly sweet and yummy surprise. I normally roll my eyes at things that “taste like fall” but the velvety butternut squash, its gorgeous golden color ~*like changing leaves*~ and the nice undertone of nutmeg actually really made this a beautiful dish. Fall: 1 — Cecilia: 0. Summer forever (but fall sometimes)!!!! Also, ricotta is not necessary, I just had some in the back of fridge and didn’t want to waste it. You do you.
Also, making this was a rather long and messy process. NOTHING wrong with buying pre-made gnocchi though I’m not sure you’ll find the butternut version. Throw some yellow-orange food-dye on em and call it done.
serves 8 INGREDIENTS: 1 butternut squash 1 large russet potato I honestly don’t know how much flour I used. Start with 1 1/2 cups and go from there until you get the desired consistency 1 teaspoon nutmeg 1/3 cup olive oil 1 large beaten egg 1 cup of finely grated parmesan Pinch of salt
Table spoon of fresh thyme leaves, chopped 2 tbl good butter
1 bunch kale leaves, torn 2 cups of chanterelles mushrooms, thinly sliced 1 shallot, finely chopped 2 garlic clove, finely chopped Optional: sliced almonds, ricotta, fresh spinach, goat cheese crumbles (leftovers)
EQUIPMENT: food processor/blender
Turn oven on to 400. Slice your squash lengthwise in half, remove seeds. Drizzle olive oil on both sides and roast, flesh side exposed. I heard it would take 1 1/2 hours to roast squash until fork tender and slightly browned. It took about 40 minutes for me. So check up on your squash every 20 minutes with a fork.
Meanwhile cook your potato in boiling salted water, 20 minutes or until for fork tender. When ready, skin and quarter your potato and pass it through a potato ricer or grate it. Let riced potato cool in large bowl.
Once your squash is ready, remove from oven and scoop flesh from skin using spoon (hold skin down with edged wooden spoon to keep your grip without burning yourself). Pass through food processor and then add to saucepan on med-high heat, stirring often letting steam evaporate. Add to potato with nutmeg, salt, egg, and 1/2 cup of parmesan and 1/2 cup of ricotta if you so desire. Mix well, adding flour handful by handful. This is where it’s tricky. Keep adding flour bit by bit until you get a uniformed rough but it needs to stay soft and pliable, you aren’t making pie crust. I probably used 2-3 cups but am not totally sure, I just went with what literally felt right.
Once you get a ball of dough together cut off dough by handful sections and roll them into ropes over floured surface. Using a sharp knife cut small sections of dough, about the size of the top section of your thumb. Press fork prongs length wise into gnocchi if desired. Toss onto a large parchment lined baking sheet and refrigerate for 30 minutes.
Meanwhile, sauté mushroom. Using a skillet on med-high heat, coat pan in olive oil, add shallot stirring until translucent, add garlic, stir for 1 minute. Add mushroom, stirring and allowing water to evaporate. Spread mushrooms onto a parchment lined baking sheet, in another section spread out almonds, and kale.
Bring wide saucepan or pot of salted water to boil. Add chilled gnocchi batch by batch and cook for about 4-5 minutes. When soft but slightly chewy, remove with a slotted spoon and drain.
Place kale, mushrooms and almonds in oven for 5 minutes, making kale crispy, toasting almonds.
Lastly, melt butter in heavy skillet, add thyme, gnocchi and accoutrements to pan, stirring and browning gnocchi slightly. Add extra parmesan to top of dish and serve. Pat yourself on the back and if it isn’t perfect just tell yourself it is because that was a lot of work. Clean the mess in the morning.
NOTE: these with a cheese sauce (simmer heavy cream, add your favorite cheese by the handful, stirring) was INCREDIBLE. Also, using a GF flour makes for INCREDIBLY tender gnocchi. I made a dairy and GF version so left out the parm and garnished with roasted mushroom, sugar peas and okra with a light home made pesto…delicious.
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kaleandcrisco · 10 years ago
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Crispy Roasted Chicken and Vegetable Mash (made from “pulp” leftovers from juicing)
Let’s just get this out of the way: that little orange smudge of mash on the side of the dish annoys me. But photoshopping food could give the food-loving society a plate-appearance related complex much like how the fashion world has done to women (and men!). I will not bow down! My mash got a little messy but it’s the taste that counts! Mashes are beautiful in all shapes and sizes!
Back to the food…Juicing is fun and yields some exquisite and healthy concoctions but it is also a very pricey habit when you realize that 1 bunch of carrots gives you about to sips of juice. I try to get creative with all of the leftover pulp my juicer discards — apple sauce, carrot cake, sorbets, broths etc. — so that I can really get as much out of my dollar and produce as possible. For this mash I used carrot and celery “pulp” from juicer, and added 1 leek and 1 small potato.
Both of those organic chicken legs costs me a whopping $3 at Fresh Market. Cluck yes is that a cluckin deal or what? *I once dated someone who always replaced the F-word with “Cluck” so don’t even think that I was just being cute right there.* I served the chicken with a side of rosemary jus (in small) bowl.
Ingredients: Two chicken legs 1/3 cup olive oil 2 pinches of cumin 2 tbsp Rosemary, finely chopped 1 tbsp lemon peel, grated 1/2 cup chicken broth 2 tbsp butter 1 small shallot, finely chopped S&P
For Vegetable Mash: 1 1/2 cup carrot, grated 1 cup celery, grated 1 small potato, coarsely chopped 1 leek, white and light green parts only, coarsely chopped 1 shallot, quartered 2 gloves of garlic, smashed Optional: cream, chicken or veg broth
For chicken: Turn over on to 375. Bring chicken legs to almost room temp. On skin side rub down LIGHTLY with cumin. Sprinkle half of grated lemon peel, rosemary and S&P. Brush on with some olive oil. Heat olive oil in iron skillet on medium-high heat. You don’t want chicken sitting in a tub of olive oil, just enough to coat pan to keep chicken from sticking. After a minute or two, place chicken legs on skin side, leaving them to crisp up UNTOUCHED for about 5 minutes. Try to take a careful peek at the skin, if it looks browned, carefully flip them, if not keep them going for 2-3 more minutes. When browned, carefully flip them using tongs. After about 5 transfer the pan to the oven for about 10 more minutes to finish cooking.
I added shallot to roast with chicken only because it looks pretty and I like roasted shallot but it isn't necessary. Added veggies to roast with chicken is classic though so go for it.
In another pan on medium heat, add remaining olive oil and shallots, stirring until translucent. Add chicken broth and remaining rosemary, lemon peel, S&P, butter and let it heat up and thicken, stirring often.
For Mash: Poil your potato, shallot and leek until penetrable with fork, keeping 1/2 cup of the potato water. Add all to grated carrot and celery in a large saucepan and add smashed garlic, and salt and pepper to taste on medium high heat. After about 10 minutes, or once carrots are softened use a hand mixer or blender to puree the mixture. To make less thick, add some broth, to make more thick add some butter or cream. Or find a balance using all of the above like I did. Play with it, perhaps adding herbs or turmeric or cumin if you want something more lively.
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kaleandcrisco · 10 years ago
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"Homemade" Mushroom Ricotta Ravioli with cream sauce
You need these in your life ASAP. Really. I originally made 12 for two people. An hour later 30 had been consumed. I know you can buy pre-made ones but can you brag about making them after? No.
My first essay in high school was about whether or not adversity stunts or causes growth. Here is proof that it first stunts, then causes things to flourish. See what I did there — flourish…Flower shaped ravioli like a punny Martha Stewart style bad bitch?
So after two weeks of somewhat over-excitedly planning to get my housewife on and make pasta dough from scratch by using my BRAND NEW PASTA MAKER FROM williams-sonoma (f*** splurging on the iPhone 6, who needs it?!) to make homemade ravioli, my fantasy rather abruptly came to an nasty halt. After I made my dough and my filling, cleaned and organized the whole kitchen in order to make room for my new machine and the beautiful sheets of dough that were soon to be birthed, I tore apart the box like a kid on Christmas morning only to discover that the pasta maker was missing the most important part — the crank used to process the dough. I circled my kitchen counter like an obsessive hound tracking a rabbit for 20 minutes, whimpering included, while searching under and over everything thinking that in my haste I had pushed the crank into hiding. I was wrong. And also like a (spoiled) kid on Christmas I sat staring at my new, (though inadequate) toy with spite and anger, with a serious urge to stomp my feet and beat my fists in unanswerable protest. *Cue super hero music* Wonton wrappers. By chance while rummaging through the foreign land of the tofu shelves at The Fresh Market, I saw wontons and bought them as backup in the event that I failed at making good pasta dough. The result was perfectly translucent, light but deliciously texturized “homemade” ravioli that tasted fresher and lighter than any ravioli from a plastic box. Cheaper, independent of (broken) machinery, and WAY faster and easier to make but still leaving room for bragging rights for being “homemade” — I don’t know that I’ll ever make ravioli any other way.
Rant over. Recipe to follow!
Ingredients: 1 pack of wontons 1/2 lb of an assortment of mushroom, finely chopped (I used dried morels, button, shiitake, and portobello mushrooms) 1 shallot, minced 1 cup of Italian parsley, chopped 1/3 cup of olive oil 1 cup of ricotta 1 cup of finely grated parmesan 1-2 garlic cloves, minced. 1 cup of heavy cream or half and half
Heat olive oil on high heat in a pan. Add shallot, stirring until soft and translucent. Add garlic, stirring 1 minute. Add mushrooms and 1/2 cup parsley, stirring often for 10-15 minutes, allowing mushroom to release some water. Remove from heat and let cool for 5 minutes. Put a deep sauce pan (not a frying pan, not a pot but in between) on high heat to boil pasta water. Add ricotta and 3/4 cup of parmesan to mushroom mixture, mixing until well blended. Lay your wonton squares out, and spoon a small spoonful to middle of one square. Using your fingertips dipped in water, trace or drop water droplets around the filling, this will act as glue for the other wonton square. Blanket filling with second square, and push air out by cupping both palms around the wonton and filling and pressing down lightly. Repeat until you have as many raviolis as desired. If you want to cut edges off of wontons to save some calories do so. To go faster, use a cookie cutter and be obnoxiously cute. Carefully drop ravioli in boiling water for about 2 minutes, ravioli will float to top. Remove with slotted spoon and carefully pat dry if necessary. Either pour cream on as is, or heat in pan, adding parmesan to cream if desired. Garnish with chopped parsley.
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