#theatre girl rachel is real

[andalitean]

Rachelcrantz and Tobiastern are dead: the compilation

in the words of @brechtian​, “what if we were two characters trapped in the narrative and spiraling towards an inevitably tragic ending. and we were in love”

aka every time these two took “all the world’s a stage” a little too seriously. inspired by this, where @lorenfangor​ quoted rachel in book 37:

[“So it’s a trap. An inevitability. You are who you are. Character is plot. Character is destiny.”]

#3 (Tobias)

["But part of me kept saying, ‘It's a lie. It's a lie. You are the hawk. The hawk is you. And Tobias is dead.’"]

#7 (Rachel)

["Jake’s voice in my head kept saying, <Rachel, morph out. Morph out. You’re out of control! You are OUT of control! Morph!>. / I was clawing wildly at the air, trying to kill the tiger that was suspended above me in the dropshaft. / Trying to kill Jake. / I felt as if I had snapped awake from a dream. / Slowly, as we rose toward the surface, I left the bear and returned to myself."]

["’I’m so sick of this,’ I said again, a little more softly. ‘What’s the point? What’s the point in anything? we know the future now. We know what happens if we decide to stay and fight.’ / I felt lost. The last ounce of energy just seeped away from me. It was too much. Too many things to deal with. And what was the point? What did it even matter what I did? / I flopped down on the grass and pine needle-covered ground, and rested my head in my hands. I was done. Done trying to make sense of a world where I could be jerked back and forth like a puppet."]

#17 (Rachel)

[“Everyone in a group has a role to play. At least that’s how it always works out. My role was to say, ‘Let’s do it. Let’s go. That’s what we came here for.’ / But I was tired. And I’d had a really, really bad few days digging down to this stupid cave. / So I said, <Let’s do it. That’s what we came here for.> / Sometimes it’s hard to get out of a role once you’ve started playing the part.”]

#22 (Rachel)

[“I tried to remember, but it wasn’t like I was thinking about myself. It was like I was remembering some girl I used to know. Like she was an acquaintance I’d forgotten about until someone reminded me. It was like, ‘Oh, yeah, Rachel. I remember her.’”]

[“Then there he was. Saddler. David. He swaggered in like he owned the world and everything in it. I so wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. But that wasn’t in the script. My role was to seem chastised, beaten down. Defeated and humiliated. That’s what we figured he’d want. That’s what would make him happy.”]

[“I nodded, meek and afraid. David searched my face through Saddler’s eyes. Was he suspicious? Had I overplayed my part? / Then he reached across and smeared the re-fried beans down the sleeve of my shirt. And laughed. / So I did something I don’t do much. I started to cry.”]

#23 (Tobias)

["I mean, what was I thinking? Rachel’s a human. A real human. I’m a hawk. You think Romeo and Juliet were doomed, just from being from families that didn’t like each other? Well, you can’t get any more doomed than caring for someone who isn’t even the same species."]

#27 (Rachel)

[“If Cassie had said it, Jake wouldn’t have told her she was overreacting. He would have agreed. He would have thought she was being sensibly cautious. / Wasn’t I allowed to be cautious? / No, of course not, I thought bitterly. I’m supposed to be a reckless fighting machine and fighting machines don’t feel caution or fear. And even if they do, they don’t advertise it. / ‘Well, excuse me, I guess I’ll just shut up and follow orders,’ I said.”]

#33 (Tobias)

[”Rachel stared at the wall. I looked at the floor. In an instant, the bulletin board display had thrown our friendship into the harsh light of reality. Rachel was a girl who could, on occasion, become a bird of prey. I was a hawk who could, on occasion, become human. / Several big steps past being Montagues and Capulets like Romeo and Juliet. Remaining hawk meant meals of still-living mice.”]

[”<Guys. Wait a minute,> I interrupted. / ‘What is it?’ Jake asked. / I swooped down from the rafter to the floor. Loose straw swirled in small eddies as I touched down. A ray of light from a crack in the barn wall bathed my feathers in yellow light. It was almost too much. Too theatrical. I half-expected angels to hover up out of the hayloft and break into song. / <It’s me,> I said. <I’m the one who has to go.>”]

[”<Let go,> I mumbled to myself. <Let go of yourself.> / ‘What was that you said?’ Taylor asked. / Irrelevant. She was nothing, I was the hawk. / Deeper into the hawk. Go away, weak human boy. / I seemed to stand outside my body. Hawk, human - everything. My mind began to race, the manic frenzy of madness. Up above it all. / A wave of self-pity, followed by a wave of hatred, followed by the unbearable weight of despair. The pain sped everything up. Faster and faster. Panic, fear, sadness. / But somehow... / Using the half of me that was equipped to process pain, I was enduring it. Close down your human mind! It’s your only hope, I told myself. Focus on the hawk.”]

[“Focus on the part of you where the pain is less subversive. Less destructive. / Sink into your hawk self, Tobias. Deep into your raptor self. / But the images! / Fragments of memory. Random memory. Flashing uncontrollably across my mind’s screen. / Insanity! Madness! / A hyper-speed slide show. / Fleeting, Irrepressible. Dominating my reality and impossible to control. Turn it off. Off!”]

37 (Rachel) (this one is included mainly because she references Hamlet which is really funny to me)

[”’Not likely. I’m the one who does hard and fast. And relentless.’ / ‘And reckless,’ Marco shot back. / ‘While you want to sit around and think every stupid little step to death,’ I spat. ‘You’ve got a Hamlet complex, Marco.’ / ‘Yeah, and there’s a method to my madness. Which is more than I can say about your finer moments.’”]

43 (Tobias)

[”’Hey. No matter what you think, Tobias, Taylor’s not your responsibility. Besides, how often is it possible to see the big picture, really?’ Rachel said. ‘Things happen fast. You just have to make the best decision you can and then go for it. You know what? I’d do the same thing again, if I had to.’ / ‘How can you say that?’ / ‘With me, it’s about instinct. I knew we had to dig that tunnel. Turns out I was right, but for the wrong reasons. If we hadn’t gotten involved with Taylor, Cassie wouldn’t have known about the plan, wouldn’t have talked to Tidwell, wouldn’t have worried about us. But she did. And it opened up a course of events that couldn’t have occurred otherwise. It ended up saving the Yeerk peace faction. It was a good investment.’”]

48 (Rachel)

[”I felt like I was watching everyone from behind a Plexiglass window. / I just wasn’t there. I couldn’t relate, not to the teachers, the boys, the girls. I couldn’t even pretend to relate.”]

53 (Jake!!!) (i think this quote is the most tragic...)

[”’We blew up one Yeerk pool,’ Rachel said cockily. ‘So we blow up another. Badda-boom. Nothing to it.’ / She knew better, of course. She was just playing her part.”]

54 (Rachel)

[”I could see the viewscreen. I could see my best friend Cassie. Jake. Marco, funny Marco. Ax. / Tobias. / He had morphed. He was his human self once more. He’d done that for me. And because he was crying, I understood. Humans cry, hawks don’t. / ‘I love you,’ I said to the screen. / And oh, god, how could so much regret and so much sweetness and so much sadness all be present in that single moment. I was already dead and missing my unlived life. I was already dead and Tobias was mourning. / I tried to smile. For him.”]

[”I wanted to much to live. I wanted so much to stay and not to leave. In a moment no answer would matter to me, but just the same, I wanted to know what I guess any dying person wants to know. / ‘Answer this, Ellimist: Did I... did I make a difference? My life, and my... my death... was I worth it? Did my life really matter?’ / ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘You were brave. You were strong. You were good. You mattered.’ / ‘Yeah. Okay, then. Okay, then.’ / I wondered if-”]

[goodideawrong]

she's pretty, witty, and i feel gay

[naturalbornluvr]

naturalbornluvr hot people list

kinda not really ranked

1. cal gabriel

1. cal robertson in the year 2001

1. my husband

1. my baby daddy

1. daddy

1. the love of my life

1. light of my life fire of my loins

1. the blonde kid from that school shooter movie

2. lana del rey

3. hayden anhedonia

4. andre kreigman

5. christian bale

6. matt dillon

7. lorenzo zurolo

8. jake gyllenhaal

9. liz gillies

10. robbie shapiro

11. robbie hawkins

12. beck from victorious

13. alexander hamilton (the real 1776 one not lin)

14. andre harris

15. eric harris

16. jodi arias

17. ricky kasso

18. peter steele

19. ghostface

20. timothee chalamet (bones and all specifically)

21. weasley twins

22. hermione granger

23. harry potter

24. tom riddle

25. rachel lurie

26. sera promgoer

27. regina george

28. ron weasley

29. robert pattinson

30. mason freeland

31. sodapop curtis

32. everyone from the breakfast club

33. alice cullen

34. rosalie cullen

35. daddylisle cullen

36. dilfy swan

37. the one guy in the hallway in mean girls when cady says i think he’s going to the projection room above the auditorium

38. carl azuz

39. mickey and mallory

40. maya from pll

41. jfk

42. jfk jr

43. jfk jr jr

44. damon albarn

45. ANAKIN SKYWALKER (he should NOT be this low but i don’t wanna change the numbers. takes too long. everyone that should be higher up is going in all caps now)

46. the guy from i believe his unicorns. spencer? i think

47. JESS MARIANO

48. born to die music video boyfriend

49. shades of cool music video boyfriend

50. health ledger

51. chad michael murray

52. a$ap rocky

53. holly would from cool world

54. brad pitt

55. zion from ginny and georgia (young & old)

56. georgia miller

57. tyler the creator

58. KURT COBAIN

59. adam brody

60. megan fox

61. 2000s christina aguilera

62. RODRICK HEFFLEY

63. jeffrey dean morgan

64. charles shaughnessy

65. grown up zack from school of rock (like when he stole the guitars and amp in like 2019)

66. the one guy from school of rock who’s like yo u guys rocked man how old are u guys after the battle of the bands show

67. ned from school of rock

68. jack black

69 mweheheh. both george coopers

70. meemaw

71. meemaws friend played by reba i think

72. alex arnold

73. sid jenkins

74. kurtis conner

75. danny gonzalez

76. drewisgooden

77. kim possible

78. bill scarscard or whatever his last name is

79. GWEN from tdi

80. julia from tdi

81. heather from tdi

82. like all of the girls from tdi. at least half

83. naked guy from gilmore girls

84. taylor momsen

85. the other mother

86. mrs spink

87. coraline’s dad & other dad but not the pumpkin one

88. artyom

89. the babysitter and bones from monster house

90. lightning mcqueen

91. mater

92. angelina jolie

93. evan peters

94. ryan gosling obviously

95. THE DAD FROM INSIDE OUT. more like riley’s dad turn ME inside out. awooooga

96. the 911 operator from zero day when she’s not yapping

97. karina and ronald now from sis vs bro

98. cameron boyce

99. joseph gordon levitt

100. the mom from inside out. same thing i said for her husband

i will be adding on most definitely but 100 is a nice number to stop at 😇🫶

NEVERMIND

101. DADDY oops i mean flynn ryder oops i mean eugene fitzherbert

102. keanu reaves

103. chris mclean

104. playboi carti

105. JOEY SMACK

106. eric from elephant

107. drew starkey

108. that one biker bf from the ride mv

109. my husband’s dad …………..

110. andre’s dad

111. KRISTOFF !!!

112. shang from mulan

113. naveen from princess and the frog

114. MILO JAMES THATCH

115. steve terreberry

116. verryyy cal gabriel coded theatre kid at my school

117. hallway crush 1

118. hallway crush 2

119. hallway crush 3

120. hallway crush 4

121. maxo_xoxo on twitter and his wife lolaloopzy

122. MILA KUNIS

123. melania trump

124. jane fonda

125. fran FOIIINEEEE

126. that one guy who ranks things and uses the high pitched voice filter on tiktok

[comicbookhyperfixationtime]

For the fictional character ask meme: Nightcrawler aka Kurt Wagner

Favorite thing about them: Their positive attitude! I’m not saying Kurt’s incapable of being upset or angst but I do love how his default is fun, especially on a team of sadbois (and girls).

Least favorite thing about them: He tickles people without their consent so if we met in real life I’d probably end up killing him.

Three things i have in common with them: 1. Theatre kid, 2. Love old movies, 3. Am also way too horny to become a priest

Three things i don’t have in common with them: 1. Am not Bavarian (thank God) 2. Cannot do a backflip 3. Nowhere near as sexy

Favorite line:

“Trauma comes painfully, quick and loud. Healing comes quiet and slow.

But it does come.

It does.”

brOTP: Kitty/Rachel/Kurt Excalibur Gang!!

OTP: Tough to say. Internet is making a good case for Kurt/Logan

nOTP: Hey writers it’s bad enough Claremont made Kurt’s first girlfriend his foster sister, why do you have to keep bringing that back???

Random Headcanon:

Unpopular Opinion: I am not sure Nightcrawler was ever intended to be furry. Like I seriously suspect that “fuzzy elf” was just talking about his hair and to be honest I have a hard time imagining him furry myself.

Song i associate with them:

I think he’d like it.

Favorite picture of them:

[pristinekanesays]

 🦋 Life Is Strange: Petnames.

🦋 What do they call their partner, what do they like to be called?

 🐺 GN!Reader, no specific pronouns are mentioned!

🦋 Warnings: nathan prescotts issues, sappy stuff and my never ending beef with nathan prescott

 🦋 A/N: Bored, tired and severely sleep deprived. I'm sticking to actually posting for once? Shocking! The word petname has me giggling like a kid and I've got no idea why.

 🦋 Chloe Price:

 💓 Chloe would probably call you the basics like babe, baby and hey maybe even babycakes as some classic comedy. She seems like the type to just make the coolest petnames in her head and spit 'em out in a split second. (She'll probably call you dude, regardless of your gender.)

 🤍 She'd deep down enjoy those real sappy, cute and sort of cringe petnames. Like pumpkin and sweetheart, you know? Maybe even puddin' but in a southern accent, apart from that she doesn't really care.

(Chloe's just a big softie, come onnn!)

🦋Kate Marsh:

💓Kate, katie, literal angel, and she'd probably call you her angel as well! She'd also call you darling, dearest, my love and probably hon/honey.

🤍She'd enjoy and appreciate it if you were affectionate with petnames like the way she is, so probably darling, angel and my love if I were to guess.

🦋Max Caulfield:

💓I get huge calling her partner broski and dude vibes, no matter your gender which is probably gonna be a little like Warren's headcanons. Calls you by your name and maybe sweetheart or greets you after a while like `Hey there, cowboy!` (again, regardless of your gender.)

🤍Doesn't care what you call her, lovey dovey and insist on calling her the most sickening, romance novel petnames? Okay, it's what you like and she probably doesn't mind.

🦋Rachel Amber:

💓Petnames are mandatory, MANDATORY!! Am I the only one getting the vibe she'd call her partner baby girl/baby boy or..?

💓Apart from that it's angel, love, sweetie and maybe babe. Probably reminds you that you're handsome or pretty nearly everyday because she's a theatre kid and DRAMATIC, or maybe she just wants to show you sum love.

🤍Call her what she calls you or add some little sappy nicknames in there cause she deserves better and just wants to feel the good old romance in the air.

🦋Victoria Chase:

💓Okay big old bully:( She's the good old classic mean girl in public but with you? She's like a totally different person, I mean forget all those horrible, awful things she's done..ahem..

💓If you're super popular and everyone knows who you are, she'll call you babe and hon in public. If you're not as popular as her, she might not put the best effort in but she's still got your back!

💓In private it's my love, babe, baby, hon/honey, all types of sappy stuff.

🤍Isn't a big deal to her what you call her just be affectionate dude (don't call her dude, she'll be like wtf)

🦋Warren Graham:

💓Is for sure calling you dude, bro and broski like yeah you're in a relationship but he didn't ask. Take it or leave it, broski! Refers to you as his partner no matter what, he'll be struggling to call you anything else and that has me laughing a little. (favourite nerd)

💓I feel like he'd jokingly call you dumbass, if you're okay with that probably.

🤍LOVE, AFFECTION, ADORAAATION! Put some effort in, like yeah he barely calls you anything romantic and cute but like leave him alone okay?! He's trying his best!

🤍Call him anything cause he'll eat that shit up daily for every meal, he loves you and just needs SOMETHING!

🦋Nathan Prescott:

💓It's dickhead again, let me just pull out my book of problems! Comedic purposes..very hilarious but he's got some intense issues and this is gonna be like one of those shit love stories.

💓He's not big and open about your relationship so he doesn't call you anything in public (especially if you're a guy, sorry dude but he's got denial issues up the ass).

💓He might call you babe or somethin' else, he's an asshole struggling with affection and other things.

🤍Call him what you wish just don't try it in public because he'll get all pissed off and act like he's never seen you in his life. Like, how dare you be affectionate and loving?!

🤍He's the problem.

[nerdymariamania]

omg sandra headcanons…

i feel like people headcanon her as being a “popular girl” in high school but i feel like this ignores the fact that she’s a theatre kid who’s very serious about it and thinks too much of herself… like realistically people would have HATED her. idk if you’ve watched glee but i think high school sandra is very rachel berry coded. i don’t think she really had that many friends because she spent all of her time dedicating herself to being an actress.

AWFUL driver. getting a lift with her is like getting in a death trap. she has road rage and tests god any time she is behind the wheel.

she loves the idea of baking but she consistently burns everything she tries to make. this frustrates her because she tries to follow the instructions perfectly and it still never comes out right. it’s a curse.

you know that i’ve got some thoughts about her family. personally i think she’s the youngest of 3-4 girls. i know you have the same headcanon as me of her mother being a failed actress and so pushing sandra to succeed where she couldn’t, but my addition to this is that she tried this with sandra’s sisters too but they went into more academic fields (eg medicine, law) and so that pressure kind of fell on sandra as like a “last resort” if you know what i mean. and then because of that sandra kinda became her mother’s favourite which caused a bit of tension with her sisters.

has glasses but hates wearing them. usually wears contacts instead but as she gets more comfortable with the drama society she starts to wear them more often.

firmly believe her bi/pan awakening was the movie charlie’s angels. i think teenage her loved that movie. like it just fits in my head.

i think she knows a little bit of guitar and piano. not heaps, just kind of your basic chords and melodies, but enough that she can play and sing at the same time y’know.

that’s all i have for the moment but if i think of more i will send them your way

1. She was that theatre bitch and her only friends were also people in theatre who took it as seriously as her (cough cough, nothing’s changed!)

2. Her road rage is so bad literally anyone else with Cornley wants to drive but won't let her know it's because she's so bad. Even pre-drivers license Lucy broke the law (at Robert's behest) to drive instead of Sandra.

3. I agree!! After she and Max get together, he bakes everything, and she reads the recipe. 5 outta 10 times it doesn't turn out not the best, because Max misheard her. But it's still better than when she bakes.

4. I fully agree about Sandra and her mother pushing her dreams on her, with her sisters. Even though I do headcanon she only has one sister, but still in STEM, much to their mother's chagrin.

5. The glasses thing is so real!!! And it adds to a goes wrong of her glasses breaking and not having contacts and having to do shows kinda blind (so me coded) and running into people and props and sets.

6. I love the idea of her bi/pan awakening being Charlie's Angels, not only on brand but because of the meta pun/joke. Also so real of her, honestly.

7. OML, I just had the thought of her playing a duet with Jonathan when they were dating, but always falling behind/hitting the wrong note. And him politely correcting her (but it still getting on her nerves because it's Sandra and she has to be the best and he shouldn't be correcting her!) And then after she gets with Max, or just with any of her other friends (Annie or Vanessa), they'd play bad together and laugh at their mistakes, and she wouldn't get angry at herself because she'd be so focused on the other person.

[strange-calathea]

Okay one other person expressed interest so I'm gonna do it :3

The wilds headcanons, ships, and predictions for how the next season might have gone if it wasn't cancelled!

⚠️ Spoiler warning! ⚠️

Obviously starting with the girlss<3

Now of course I love shoni and leatin, I think we all do however I am a multishipper and a huge fan of dotin they would so live together after everything and it would be adorable!!!

Aromantic Rachel is also sooo real to me she's pretty much the only one of them that I don't remember saying anything about romance?

Also there's Nora who I'm really just unsure about she scares me a little :3 I do LOVE her outfits tho the pants that look like skirts are fucking awesome!!! Also love the way she subtly directs everyone shes sooo manipulative<3

Martha might be the exception to the all of them are queer thing she's like the group ally

This is not to say I don't absolutely LOVE her character I love Martha soo much I loved the arc with her becoming the group hunter and then the bunny thing and just UGH I love it all

Also she def has weak ankles this doesn't really matter but I also have weak ankles so I'm projecting it onto her

Also about Shelby being the new confederate, I saw someone somewhere wondering why she would do that so I really wanna explain that since I totally get it. Of COURSE she would want to stay on the island it's where she learned what love REALLY is. It's the same reason she did nothing when she saw the boat.

Now the boysss they're sooo gay (and I might talk more about them than the girls I'm sorry there is a bias because I'm gay (also they have the craziest shit going on?? Most of the girls problems are discussed and dealt with in the show lol))

AND IM STARTING WITH HENRY I love him

he's an emo theatre kid he's def queer and I'm gonna project again, I hc him as omni <3

I also think Hen and Ivan would be a cute pairing & I think Ivan would constantly play the song emo boy by Ayesha Erotica to annoy him<3

RAF. YOU POOR BISEXUAL MESS. :(

I don't even really have more to say about him he just makes me sad

IVAN HOWEVER. I have soo much to say about him so first of all, he's gay, we know this

And to get ships out of the way, Ivan&hen and Ivan & Kirin are my favs

SO I wanna talk about the scene with him and Kirin because it's so hard to watch and it's so like???? So I just wanna explain how I see it, a young black gay boy catches his schoolmate crying over a former coach at their school because he was very close to this coach, but he recently got fired for doing blackface in the past (NOT excusing it, just to acknowledge that there is a CHANCE he has genuinely changed over time) assuming Kirin was upset because the coach was a father figure to him? We never get to see kirins family life but I feel like we can assume he's being raised by a single mother? And Ivan rightfully assumes Kirin is excusing the coachs actions but I think Kirin is just grieving because someone he looked up to turned out to probably be a bad person

And about why Ivan egged him on, sometimes when you live with everyone saying those things to you, you begin to just expect it. He was so convinced that somebody like Kirin COULD NOT dislike him for any other reason that he practically put the words in his mouth. And I am gonna defend Kirin because he's NOT an asshole ! I feel like I shouldn't have to explain any of this but I might as well atp, when someone expects the worst of you, you give them what they want. So to summarize: assumptions and misunderstanding caused their problems and I think they should talk it out

Okay since that also counted as my thoughts on Kirin it's time for my hcs for him!! Gaygaygay so gay love him & Ivan and he's very touchy and protective with Josh (see: his response to Josh setting himself on fire),,, I don't think it's requited tho. I also just love the way he doesn't hesitate to believe and defend Josh

To conclude my thoughts on Kirin, a community meme :)

Scotty & Bo get to share a section because they are practically attached at the hip

They are sooo in love and they're gonna spend their whole lives together :3 I also really love both of them their characters are so interesting and so special to me

Josh is the team ally, or he tries to be alternatively I will accept the idea that he's aro

And I'm not gonna talk about Seth because I'm not a trained psychologist! So I don't know wtf is going on there

However I do think that Nora might also be in the little radio station place Seth was in at the end of season2 unless it was like Gretchen's way of making sure he can't hurt anyone else? Just put him in his own little box then he can't fuck it up!

In conclusion, I love the wilds:3 and please tell ur thoughts and headcanons!! I would love to hear what other people think about this show or what I've said about it!!!

[crowdvscritic]

round up // APRIL 23

A selection of words capturing my April pop culture experiences:

Museum

Podcast

Amy Sherman-Palladino

Muppets

Vampire

Nike

American Girl dolls

Read on for everything that brought me joy this month!

April Crowd-Pleasers

1. Renfield (2023)

Did I write a review of Renfield, an ode to the two Nic(k)s, or analysis of the Great Resignation? Yes, yes, and yes. Read whatever, in fact, I wrote at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

2. SNL Round Up

Whether they’re spoofing my childhood toys, my young adulthood wedding commitments, or my love for the Jonas Brothers, the crew in Studio 8H has been keeping me laughing this Spring.

“Southwest Airlines Announcement” (4811 with Michael B. Jordan) 

“The Big Hollywood Quiz” (4812 with Pedro Pascal) - A great example of how no one watches the same things anymore

“Waking Up” (4812)

“Protective Mom” (4812)

“Lisa From Temecula” (4812)

“American Girl Café” (4814 with Travis Kelce)

“Bridesmaid Cult Documentary” (4816 with Quinta Brunson) - I feel seen

"Weekend Update: Co-Worker Who's Extremely Busy Doing Seemingly Nothing on Returning to the Office” (4817 with Molly Shannon) - I feel attacked

“Sally O'Malley: Jonas Brothers” (4817)

“American Girl Doll Movie Trailer” (4818 with Ana de Armas)

3. Descanso Gardens

Because I can’t resist a botanical garden! Gardens are becoming a go-to attraction for me on vacations, and the Descanso Gardens in Los Angeles did not disappoint. The day we went was not too crowded but was impressive enough to earn a huge crowd—a hidden gem for LA tourists!

4. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Panel at PaleyFest

The gardens were lovely, but there were two other attractions that were the real reason for my visit to Los Angeles. The first was PaleyFest to see Amy Sherman-Palladino, Daniel Palladino, and the cast of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel! Just before the fifth and final season started on Amazon Prime, we heard Alex Borstein and Rachel Brosnahan share their mourning process for the show’s ending, Caroline Aaron and Michael Zegen reflect on what these roles have meant to them, and Tony Shalhoub crack up the crowd. (And who knew I would be so starstruck by him? When he came on stage I wanted to scream, “YOU WERE SO GOOD IN GALAXY QUEST!”) Check out SO IT’S A SHOW’s Instagram for more highlights from when my podcast co-host Kyla and I visited the Dolby Theatre (home of the Oscars!).

4. John Mulaney: Baby J (2023)

A full year ago I saw John Mulaney on his From Scratch tour, and now you can enjoy the set at home. His joke about not being interested in science “from magnets to ducks” did not make the cut (and alas now I can’t remember the setup for that punchline), but the other 90% of a show that made me laugh so hard I cried is preserved forever.

5. The Muppets. (2015-16)

Why did this gem only last 16 episodes? In this one-season single-cam sitcom, the Muppets are working on Late Night with Miss Piggy, a setting that could’ve produced comedy gold for years. With the frazzled Kermit producing, the Electric Mayhem as the in-studio band, and celebrity guests through the felt nose, I’m glad I checked out these 16 eps even though they ended on a cliffhanger. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like for Miss Piggy to date Josh Groban or to hold grudges against every blonde actress in Hollywood, you won’t want to miss it either.

7. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. (2023)

Special in the way that the best coming-of-age movies are. I suspect Margaret’s insecurities about boys, bras, and besties will feel relatable to Gens Z and Alpha if for no other reason than this movie’s depiction felt scarily accurate to my own experience in the mid-2000s. I promise I will never start a review with the story of my first period ever again! At least, probably—at the rate we're going, it will never be apropos again. Read the full review at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10

April Critic Picks

1. AIR (2023)

Is it controversial to say Matt and Ben’s collabs only get better? If we're playing Greatest/Best/Favorite, this might be my new ranking:

Greatest: Good Will Hunting

Best: The Last Duel

Favorite: AIR

Read my full review for ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

2. The Academy Museum

The other reason I went out to Los Angeles: After years of pandemic-caused delays, I finally made it to the Academy Museum! Six floors of movie and Oscars history and memorabilia? You know I’m in my happy place, but casual movie fans will find something for them, too. Some of my favorite exhibits included the several-stories high Mount Rushmore backdrop used in North by Northwest, the gallery that used The Godfather to show each element of filmmaking, and the pianos from Casablanca. Fanny’s (named for Barbra Streisand’s character in Funny Girl) serves exceptional museum food, and I learned about deep cut filmmakers and movements I was only vaguely familiar with before I went. I’d give the Academy a gold statue for museum execution if I could!

3. Good Reads

A miscellaneous round up of good stuff I’ve read lately…

Final thoughts on 2022 Awards Season:

“How Avatar: The Way of Water Can Make $2 Billion and Still Feel Irrelevant,” Vox.com (2023)

“How Did We Let the Golden Globes Back In?” LATimes.com (2022)

Unexpected responses to Cocaine Bear:

“An Attempt to Define the ‘Good for Her’ Cinematic Universe,” Vulture.com (2023)

“The Case for Cocaine Bears,” Slate.com (2023)

Glitches in the Sports Industry Matrix:

“America’s Bad Bet on Expanding Legal Sports Gambling,” Vox.com (2023)

“Will Damar Hamlin’s Injury Change the NFL? Why a Safer Game Could Turn Away Fans,” LATimes.com (2023)

Watching trends that need to be fixed:

“Mumbling Actors, Bad Speakers or Lazy Listeners? Why Everyone is Watching TV With Subtitles On,” TheGuardian.com (2023)

“Television Is Going Exactly the Wrong Direction. I Know the Solution.” Slate.com (2023)

Explorations of our malaise at work:

“How to Care Less About Work,” TheAtlantic.com (2021)

“The Age of the Crisis of Work,” Harpers.org (2023)

All the ways—okay, just some of the way—social media is on the struggle bus right now:

“Why Every App Now Feels Like TikTok, but Worse,” NYMag.com (2023)

“How Elon Musk Turned the Blue Check Mark Into a Scarlet Letter,” Slate.com (2023)

“Commentary: If Twitter Finally Dies, Where Do We Find the Smart People?” LATimes.com (2023)

And even more miscellaneous good reads: 

“You’ll Feel Better if You Go Outside,” NewYorker.com (2021)

“The Oral History of Helm’s Deep,” Inverse.com (2022)

“I’ve Had It With Stunt Ice Cream Flavors,” Eater.com (2023)

“Clothes Make the Con Man,” NYTimes.com (2023)

“Hailey Bieber, Selena Gomez, and the Easter Egg-ification of the Hollywood Feud,” Vox.com (2023)

“Why Are TV Writers So Miserable?” NewYorker.com (2023)

4. Current Exhibits at the St. Louis Art Museum

My membership to the SLAM always pays off. In April I indulged in two special exhibits:

The Age of Armor, which showcases the history of armor and battle gear with an emphasis on suits of armor. The galleries did a great job explaining how the armor functioned and provided model pieces to try yourself, but you know my favorite part was the Black Panther and Star Wars costumes at the end!

Monet/Mitchell: Painting the French Landscape compares the work of Claude Monet and American expat Joan Mitchell, and it brought me back to my magical trip to Giverny last summer! 

5. The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex (1939)

Sumptous costumes and sets, Bette Davis doing the most acting, and Errol Flynn at his handsomest. This Queen Elizabeth I costume drama from Michael Curtiz is maximalist in aesthetic and romantic at its heart. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 9/10

6. Under the Umbrella: A Little Women Podcast (2023-)

Little Women superfans unite! Kate and Kelsey (friends and both teachers) are analyzing the book and film versions from every angle, and if you love the March sisters, Louisa May Alcott, or Greta Gerwig, they are going to be your new best friends. 

7. Just Like Us: The Tabloids That Changed America (2022)

Last spring the Ringer Dish podcast did a deep dive into the ‘00s tabloids and their obsession with Brangelina, Bennifer, and ‘90s child stars gone wild—so basically everything I obsessed over in middle school. Bottom line: They probably didn’t make our world better, but those mags (and emerging online blogs and reality TV) sure tapped into parts of our brains that made them addictive. This eight-episode series challenges any assumption we have about about celebrity gossip being harmless—or frivolous.

Until May’s Round Up…

In spite of the current state of things, I’m still tweeting in denial as @tblake24. Come join me until this platform burns to the ground!

If you want real-time updates on what I’m watching and loving, you can also find me as @tblake24 on Letterboxd. 

Photo credits: Good Reads, Under the Umbrella, Just Like Us. Descanso Gardens, PaleyFest, Academy Museum, and SLAM my own. All other IMDb.com. 

[littlequeenies]

Katie Geraldine Scarfe (b. April 17th, 1974) is an English stage, radio, TV & voice actress, the oldest daughter of actress Jane Asher and her husband cartoonist Gerald Scarfe. Katie has two younger brothers, artist Alex Scarfe and book editor Rory Christopher Scarfe. She also has two elder half-siblings, Rupert and Araminta Scarfe from her father's previous relationships.

She graduated from Bristol University in 1995. She trained at LAMDA (London Academy of Music & Dramatic Art; BA (Hons) Acting, 2007-2009). Credits whilst at LAMDA include Maria in "Twelfth Night (2008), Lady Bracknell in "The Importance of Being Earnest" (2009), Molly in "Passport to Pimlico" (2009), "The Girl in The Blue Room" (2009), u/s Pattie and Rachel in "Season's Greetings" (National Theatre, 2010/11).

Her theatre career includes "Just Whores" (New Venture Theatre, summer 2003), "Freakshow", as Eve (New Venture Theatre, fall 2003), her role of Constanze in "Amadeus" ( New Venture Theatre, Brighton, 2005), her role of Richmond in "Richard III" (Brighton Festival, 2007), her role of The Duchess in "Mercury Fur" (Old Red Lion, Trafalgar Studios, 2012) and her role of the Queen in "Beyond Beauty" (Rebel Theatre, fall 2012). In 2015 she acted on the stage along with her mother Jane Asher in "The Gathered Leaves" (Park Theatre).

Radio, television and film credits include her role of Brenda in "The Wistleblower" film, the part of Kerry Harrison in "The Real Kathy Haydn" (Channel 4, 2007), "The Long Walk Home" film (2007), "Nunc Demittis", part of the "Someone Like You" collection, for BBC Radio 4 (2009), her role of Emily Coulson in "Holby City" (BBC, 2010), Sophie in the 2010 film "The Engagement Party", the poet female in "The Cult" film (2010), the short "The Adbucted", as Dr. Murphy in ITV's "Emmerdale Farm" (Yorkshire television, 2012), "A Little Twist of Dahl" (BBC Radio 4) and the short "The Listener" (2014) and the part of Liz Wilde again in in "Holby City" (2015).

--

Pictured, Katie and her father Gerald Scarfe at the South Bank Show, at the Savoy Hotel, on the 22nd January 1998 in London.

*We don’t own any of the copyrights of these photos*

OUR KATIE SCARFE PHOTO COLLECTION HOSTED AT GOOGLE PHOTOS

[launching-a-thousand-ships]

Kurt Glee Rewatch: Preggers

Omg this ep! One of my favs this season (bc all my favs are Kurt eps lol)

Let’s jump right in

Starting so strong. We get his playlist (would love to see him dance to any of those songs lol). Also, love how he has Brittany with him. Like obvs, Heather would be in the dance, but it means that Kurt is just casually friends with her already. Tbh, in background even s1, there is a lot of comingling of og 6 and the cheerios? Seems like Rachel is the only one they really have a problem with??

Anyway, the costume. So they wanted him in the leotard and heels and bless Colfer for arguing bc this is so much more Kurt. He doesn’t just ‘wear girl clothes’. He does an interesting blend of masc/fem and this works so much better.

And obvs Brittany not a real character yet bc she’s quick-thinking with the kicker line, and not said in usual Brittany-tone

The arrival of Burt!! Before he’s Father of the Year he is ‘wtf are you wearing’ lol. And I love this interaction bc Burt is not mad at his son. I mean, he’s mad about the noise, but he’s not gonna dislike his son for the way he is. Burt is awkward, and uncomfortable, tho. 

I also think he’s at the point where he can’t deny who Kurt is so he’s kinda just... waiting for him to come out? So he’s needling a bit, asking about a girlfriend, like that’ll coax it out. But I do love that Burt doesn’t outright confront and allows Kurt to come out on his own time.

(sry personal) but my mum confronted me about it and I did not get to come out when I wanted to and that still frustrates me bc I had already planned when/how I was going to and... anyway

Burt is still in the struggling phase here but, he’s trying. And I love how awkward this scene is, with them in the costumes and Burt talking about his football days and his injury and. Mike O’Malley and Chris Colfer, their acting is top notch.

First off, need more kurt in sunglasses lol. 

But omg the way Finn’s immediately like ‘I already have a date to prom’ like duude. 

And the rushed ‘I’m not gay’ like, it just hurts my heart. He still denies it bc he’s not ready... Yay to Finn for helping out, at least?

Aw, first sight of Finn and Kurt being bros! (tho lowkey, after the wedding we did not get enough bro-moments)

Also, as mentioned in fashion, I love all of Kurt’s workout outfits so much. They’re always so wacky and extra but they look comfy so... you do you, Kurt.

I do appreciate how, both here with Finn and even later with Blaine, Kurt doesn’t let his crush totally get in the way? Like he doesn’t blindly follow Finn, he stands up for himself like ‘I’m doing it my way’. He may be twitterpated, but he’s still stubborn.

“Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker” I just... I feel like Kurt could so easily try to blend in, fly under the radar, but he adamantly refuses. Amazing how he can be so insecure and so confident (tho I feel the confidence is against bullies, whereas the insecurities come with people close to him, like with his dad or Blaine)

And then the his tryout, knocks it out of the park. Love the shot of the shocked team, love that Kurt is awesome at it bc hey, he works hard. Also, why do have the team look like they’re well in their 30s omg

Gonna say it: We did not get enough of Kurt quoting Art of War. We get random glimpses into his more scholarly side, seems he does well in school, speaks French, etc? Prob part of his goal to make it out of Lima, but I would’ve loved to see more. 

Also, I appreciate him reading that prob bc he views high school as war. He’s def very calculating about dealing with people....

When Kurt casually interrupted Will bc he’s like ‘I can teach better’. I also love the ‘sneak attack’ and ‘comb through the hair’ etc bc when we learned dances in theatre, and cast mentioned behind the scenes, one way to teach dances is with random lines like ‘stir the pot’ etc. I wonder if some of those were how Heather taught it BTS.

Every rewatch, I forget how smol Kurt was. Also, him here so happy and excited... The Kurt and Burt relationship is easily the best written on the show.

Also, I’m always surprised to see Cheerios at football games bc they always seem like just... their own team. Sue has nothing to do with football.

But what a football game! Zero reality, but I love the dance so much. You can’t tell me the team weren’t totally loving it. The crowd dancing along, even the opponents trying. Iconic

You’d think Kurt would be bullied somewhat less after winning them the damn game but. Alright then.

And I love Burt’s line of ‘he’s so little’ bc foremost in his mind is just wanting Kurt to be okay. Yes, he’s proud of the football, but he doesn’t want his son to get hurt! Ugh and when they win and Burt is so happy and cheering and my heart cannot take it!

Someday I will watch this scene and not tear up but... oh well.

I mean, hands down, iconic scene. Ryan Murphy said he based it on how he wishes his coming out went and I do like this more positive experience, compared to all the angst out there at the time. The acting, incredible, and I do love how mixed it was.

Like, Burt says he’s not in love with the idea, it’s clear he’s not super happy about it, but he can’t change it and he immediately makes it clear that he doesn’t love Kurt any less. And it just sets up all the growth that’s to come and I cannot wait.

I honestly like it better than if it were all bad or super positive. Makes Burt feel like a real person, someone flawed who has to relearn how to think, but he’s still a good person who wants to do right by his son.

Kurt was technically in closet at school and I wonder if this was really what he was waiting for. Like, he doesn’t really care what they think, but he needed to come out to his dad. Bc after this, he’s basically out to everyone (except for regress during Laryngitis).

And that’s Kurt in this ep. I love it so much. He winds up quitting in Mash-Up but I do wish we got to see more football!Kurt. At least there’s still Cheerio!Kurt

[popblank]

Funny Girl at the Ahmanson Theatre, unsorted comments below, including spoilers:

At this performance, Hannah Shankman was on for Fanny Brice.

My knowledge of Funny Girl has largely come from the news and the discourse (sigh) about the most recent revival, with a little bit from Lea Michele as Rachel Berry performing "Don't Rain On My Parade" on Glee. I was aware that this was a star-making vehicle for Barbra Streisand and that its general strengths were in the character of Fanny Brice and its score, but not its book.

Watching "Don't Rain On My Parade" is certainly more disquieting in context. My two primary reactions were 1) you're ditching a successful (but relatively new/not well-established) career for this guy? and 2) how is this going to fall apart later?

During "Temporary Arrangement" I was wondering if the song was suggesting that the money itself was the temporary arrangement (i.e. a loan), or was it the relationship? Based on their scene in Monte Carlo, it seemed like the marriage was something Nick just kind of went along with, as opposed to being part of a mutual agreement (let alone an enthusiastic one). Later on he seems to realize that he does care strongly for her, while in the meantime the audience is realizing that these two are not good for each other.

According to inflation calculator at the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis website, $68,000 in 1920 (a couple of years after the real Fanny Brice and Nick Arnstein got married) is equivalent to over $1 million now. That is a lot of money to be casually writing a check for.

Does Fanny ever get over her neediness for this dude? At the end of Act 1 she is ready to drop her career for him, and at the end of Act 2 it's the same thing. It's a bit weird that she doesn't seem to have changed much through the second act; it's only once he tells her they should split up that she accepts it. I suppose the point of the ending is that she is resilient in a "show must go on" kind of way, but oddly unsatisfying because I didn't get the impression that she learned anything from the experience. Nick seems to go on the emotional journey through Act 2, and Fanny maybe (?) has a journey in the last five minutes or so.

I am a little puzzled by Ziegfeld Follies-style entertainment. Just not my thing.

Melissa Manchester was very good as Mrs. Brice; I thought her comic timing was solid.

The audience was appreciative overall and was responsive to the occasions that invited crowd response. Even so, the standing ovation didn't quite fill the crowd until Hannah Shankman took her bow as Fanny.

This is the first program I've seen at the Ahmanson since last summer (Into The Woods) in which the actors' pronouns were not included. I assume that is at the discretion of the production, but I guess I'll see when the next show comes around (which is A Strange Loop).

Finally, a fun little mistake in the digital program – the dancers who played Juliet in Matthew Bourne's Romeo and Juliet apparently also moonlight as Fanny Brice alternates. What talent!

[andalitean]

theateRachel thursday!

[missymurphy1985]

The Extra (part 2)

Warning - smut (eventually....)

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton

You were finishing up your coffee, grateful that Cillian didn't hang around after grabbing his. Suddenly you heard Anto shouting in the yard outside. You told Liane you'd find her later, and headed out to him. He was pacing the grounds on his phone, the anger evident in his face. With an abrupt "Fuck you!" down the line, he hung up, kicking a rock across the courtyard in frustration.

"Anto? What's wrong?" You approached nervously.

"We start filming in three hours, and one of the cast had dropped out!!"

"What? Who?"

"Rachel Foster. She was supposed to play Tommy Shelby's girl."

"Oh shit.."

"Oh shit in-fucking-deed. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?! I can't call someone in at this short notice!"

"I don't know anyone who's even available.." he suddenly looked at you, you squirmed a little, you recognised that look.

"You know, it's not too late to reconsider my offer y/n."

"Anto we talked about this, I'm not an actress."

"But you used to be! And you were the best I knew!"

"When you offered me a role in this I was flattered beyond belief, I truly was, but my role is as a professor now, not an actress. I gave that all up nearly a decade ago!"

"Think about it - you're here anyway! She was only meant to film this week, it's a few scenes with Tommy, nothing major.. she's not even lasting the whole series it's just a few scenes I swear it. At least let me do a casting call with you? I'll pay you for your time, even if you don't want to do it? It's win-win! I'm desperate here y/n..."

You thought about it. You enjoyed the theatre shows you used to be involved in years ago so much, but then you were offered the job at Birmingham University and it was too good an opportunity to miss - a steady wage, guaranteed income.. the thought of going back to being a struggling actress made you very nervous.

"One casting call. If it doesn't work, I'm out and you'll have to find someone else Anto."

"Oh you fucking legend... You BEAUTIFUL legend!!!" He scooped you up and spun you round in a circle, before dragging you over to costume and makeup.

An hour later, you were in costume, hair done, makeup on, ready for the camera. You stood in the set for the Garrison, Anto giving you the once over for the short scene he'd got planned for the casting call.

"Anto you didn't say anything about kissing Tommy!" You groaned, reading the paper he handed you.

"It's one kiss - we need to make sure you have chemistry. You know these scenes are always filmed first y/n."

"You fucking owe me Byrne." He grinned his cheesiest grin yet, allowing you time to get to know your lines and the scene. You were lost in it, focussing on getting yourself into a character for the first time in years.

"Y/n?" An Irish brogue suddenly dragged you out of your prep, and you nearly dropped the whiskey glass you were holding as you were practising a scene.

"Holy fuck..."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you - " he held out his hand, chuckling at your outburst. "I'm Cillian. I'll be playing Thomas Shelby."

"I, uh, I know who you are, I'm Y/n..."

"I know, Anto tells me you're Rachel's replacement? Really appreciate you stepping in like this, I know it's all a bit weird. Just take your time, okay? There's no rush, and no pressure to get it perfect, just relax. I know how intense these things can be."

"Thank you. I'm sorry if I'm shit..." You laughed, your stomach in knots.

"You won't be! You wanna stop at any point, tell me. No pressure, remember that. I'm looking forward to it."

"To what? Me throwing a whiskey glass at you?"

"No, not that bit," he smiled, his blue eyes glittering in the stage lights behind you.

"Right then you two, are you ready?" Anto called, and you pulled yourself together. Taking a deep breath, the scene began.

"You promised me Thomas. You said you were going legit!! Now I find out you have guns hidden away from the fucking IRA??"

"Clara, you have to trust me! I AM going legit but I need money behind me to do it - this is our way out of here!"

"You're a fucking liar Shelby. Four years I waited for you. Four fucking years you wrote to me promising me a life of safety, no more having to watch our backs, no more Peaky fucking Blinders, and you lied through your fucking teeth!" You threw the glass, missing his face by a mere inch.

He ducked, and approached you carefully, hands out to catch your arms as they flailed around. A sudden flick of your wrist in the wrong direction caught him off guard and you hit him. Full force on the side of his cheek.

"Oh fuck!! Shit I'm so sorry!!"

"Quite the left hook you've got there!!" He laughed, regaining his composure, rubbing his face. A decent shade of red now blossoming across his cheek. Anto was in stitches the other side of the camera and you shot him a glare.

"I can't believe you've just smacked the star of the fucking show!" He laughed.

"You're certainly feisty enough for Clara's character, I'll give you that!" Cillian smirked. You were mortified.

"I really am sorry..."

"No harm done, I'm fine. I've had worse. Come on, let's finish this yeah?" You were convinced you'd screwed it up, but Anto calling Action brought you back into the scene.

Cillian cleared his throat and approached you again, you could see him trying not to laugh though and you couldn't help but giggle a little, which set him off too.

"I'm sorry, really I am!" You panicked.

"That was my fault, I was too busy watching her arms!" Cillian smiled.

"Guys I really like what I'm seeing here. There's definitely chemistry on screen. Why don't you two go rehearse a little more together and come back in 30 minutes?" Cillian nodded and turned to you.

"Fancy a coffee?" He asked. You nodded and he led you over to the trailers behind the set.

"Are we not going to the cafeteria?"

"Not unless you want to rehearse in front of your Uni class?" He smirked. You shook your head and followed him into a decent sized trailer at the back. He flicked the kettle on, telling you to take a seat while he made the coffee.

"So why did you give up the theatre? You're clearly very good, else Anto wouldn't have requested you?"

"It wasn't going anywhere. I was in the West End, Broadway, Galway.. just seemed to be bouncing around with no real direction. I wanted to get into film or TV work but the roles were in high demand. And it became very clear very quickly that I wasn't the right kind of actress the movie makers wanted as a leading lady."

"Really? Why?"

"I wasn't prepared to get my tits out at every audition like the others I guess?" You shrugged. "I auditioned for a horror movie once in Hollywood. Some big budget thing that never ended up happening anyway, but the director wanted me to audition in this skimpy little dress - barely covered my ass never mind my thighs. Wouldn't audition me unless I wore it, so I threw it at him and walked out. Kinda blacklisted from then on."

"That's horrendous? Which director?"

"Cant even remember his name now it was so long ago. It doesn't matter anyway, the movie was scrapped before production and I landed the job at the university. Secure, stable, good money - couldn't ask for more really. And the kids are so great, Cillian, full of passion and enthusiasm! They're so inspiring they really are!"

"I'm meeting some of them later, I'm looking forward to it. My youngest wants to get into the industry. Been trying to put him off for years but he's such a little showman. Exactly like I was at his age."

"Is that Jack?" You asked.

"Yeah. His mam is keen on him getting into it but she hated me going off for months on end filming. One of the reasons she divorced me last year."

"I heard about that. I'm sorry.."

"No don't be! We get on better now than we ever have. Only stayed together for the kids you know? Milk and sugar?" You nodded, and he handed you the cup.

"This scene is awkward, I've never done a scene like this before," you confessed, taking a sip.

"Like what?"

"A kiss? How do you kiss someone without actually kissing them?"

"You just do it, I guess. Once you're in character it just happens. I won't use tongues I promise - nothing personal, it's just one of my rules."

"That makes it less awkward I suppose!"

"Exactly. Although didn't stop Scarlett Johansson that one time... Nearly got me shot by the wife that one did!" You remembered that scene in Girl with a Pearl Earring and laughed.

"You know, I've learned over the years that if you do those scenes first it makes all the others much easier," he said, putting his coffee down and taking yours from you, placing it on the table next to his. He took your hands and stood you up in front of him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to kiss you."

"What?"

"Not like that, I'm going to 'movie-kiss' you. Show you how it's done. Trust me - you won't feel awkward after this."

"I beg to differ..."

"Come on y/n, what have you got to lose?" My senses? You thought. My mind, maybe? You were hesitant, massively hesitant. You weren't even sure you were even going to go through with this. He glanced at his watch.

"We have five minutes, close your eyes and trust me." He nodded at you, and you took a deep breath, closing your eyes.

His fingers back on your cheek, this was just a reenactment of the scene but those fingers felt like lightening bolts. You could sense him moving closer, and his lips brushing yours. You were almost frozen to the spot until he whispered for you to relax.

"Okay, okay... I'm relaxed.. try again.." he leaned in again, your lips meeting properly. His hand in the back of your hair pulling you a little closer. You fell into it, your hands reaching round his back. As promised, he didn't use his tongue, which felt really strange at first but you quickly got used to it. Your mouths meshed together perfectly as you found your rhythm. A few minutes of this, before he pulled away, another gentle kiss against your lips as he did.

"Wow..." You gasped, opening your eyes. If someone had told you this morning you'd be kissing Cillian Murphy by lunchtime you'd have had them commited to the local loony bin, yet here you were. He didn't speak, and his hand was still on your cheek, brushing it lightly.

"Didn't plan on making you blush so much."

"Didn't plan on kissing Cillian Murphy when I woke up this morning," you laughed.

"Ready to do that again?"

"Again?"

"Just to make sure we got it right, of course."

"Yes.. of course.." he moved in quickly, but it felt different this time. His lips crashed against yours, and you definitely felt his tongue brush your lips a couple of times but you didn't reciprocate. You both moved backwards, your thighs hitting the table behind you, coffee nearly spilling over.

"Fuck, you okay? I'm sorry.." he pulled away to make sure none had spilled on you.

"I'm fine, it didn't fall, I'm fine... I uh, I think we've got the kiss nailed down though..." You brushed your hair out of your face and looked to the floor.

"Yeah, I think you're right.." your eyes met again and you both smiled. Before he could speak though, Anto was at the door knocking.

"Ready for round 2 guys?" He called. Cillian nodded at you, and you nodded back, both of you heading out to try the scene again.

[galaxysupreme17]

Hold On

Olivia Benson X Daughter Reader!

TRIGER WARNNING! Cutting/Bullying/attempted suicide. So this isn’t my first time writing but it is my first time posting on here. I write a lot of stories manly about my favorite tv shows/characters. Anyway this is a short story about being Olivia Benson’s Daughter and having depression and someone keeps leaving notes telling you to kill yourself. Olivia is currently a detective around season 14. If you guys have any request send them in and I will write them! 

As you walk through the walls of your high school trying to keep your head down, not wanting to be seen, you walk up to your locker and open it. A bunch of notes come flowing out of it. You squat down, pick them up, and read through them. 

“No wonder your mom is ever around. It’s probably because you are a horrible no good person” and another “my god just go kill yourself” and another “the world would be a better place if you weren’t here.” 

After reading all of them you quickly shoved them into your bag and shut your locker. You walk home and as fast as possible open your apartment door. You run to your bedroom and burst into tears.

 You have been getting these notes for months and slowly you have been believing them. You have your own personal bullies. Their names are Holly and Jamie. They make your life a living hell as often as they can.

 Holly is the captain of the cheerleaders and Jamie is captain of the football team. You open your bag, after drying your tears, and pull out the notes putting them with the others, which are in a box on your desk right next to the picture of you and your mom. 

You smile at the picture through your tear eyes and pull out a pen and paper. You quickly write down a suicide note and leave it on the counter in the kitchen for Olivia to find.

 You then walk to the bathroom and pull out a bottle of pills and your razor. Before doing anything you think about your life.

Olivia was the best mother in the world. Always coming to every performance of every musical and always being there when you needed her. She would be there when you woke up and when you went to bed. 

You remember going to the park when it was snowing and the rest of the squad went and you and Fin ganged up on Cragen throwing snowballs at him. Then the bullying started and your depression and anxiety got worse. You dropped theatre and show choir because you didn’t feel the joy of singing anymore.

 After a little bit of thinking you continued with your plan. You took the razor and slid it across your arms and legs watching as the blood came running down. You grab the bottle of pills and start taking them; at first one by one but then continued until even after you started to feel dizzy. Within in minutes you passed out on the floor. 

~With Olivia~

Olivia finally got off work just ready to be home. She was happy because she was finally going to have an evening with you. She had planned to let you pick dinner then you both would curl up on the couch and finish watching Gilmore Girls. You started that show together loving it because it reminded you both of your relationship with each other.

 You were Rory and Olivia was Lorelai. The memory makes Olivia smile as she drives home. As soon as she parks her car and heads the flight of stairs, she gets a sickening feeling in her gut telling her something is wrong. Olivia rushes to the door and fumbles with her keys to get the door open. Finally, after struggling, she gets the door open and walks inside.

 “Y/n! Y/n Where are you?” Olivia sets her stuff down and sees the note, it reads. 

“Dear Mom, I am so sorry for this. I just can’t take it anymore. The real reason I quit theatre and show choir was because I have been bullied. For awhile now actually. I just cannot stand to live another day. They keep telling me it is for the best that I die and I believe that is true. Just now that I did fight. I fought for so long. I truly just cannot continue fighting. Know that I love you and none of this is your fault, I know you are going to blame yourself for not seeing it sooner but I am serious, none of this is your fault. I just can’t continue on. I don’t think I can continue on, I feel numb and like no one wants me. I love you momma never forget that.” By the end Olivia had tears streaming down her face as she ran to the bathroom banging on the door, 

“Y/n! Please stay with me baby please! Open the door Y/n!” Olivia yelled.

 Pulling out her phone she called 911 and busted down the door. As soon as she saw your body laying on the floor she broke. Immediately, Oliva checked for a pulse which was weak but there. 

“Please don’t leave me baby! Hold on baby-girl please! I love you so much sweetheart!” Oliva cried as she began doing CPR. 

The ambulance soon showed up and the took you and Olivia to the hospital. Olivia called Fin and asked to go check your bedroom for anything and bring it to the hospital. Of course Fin immediately jumped and ran when he heard what happened. Fin was still at the precinct when Liv called and Cragen happened to also be there. 

Fin told Cragen everything and the two took off to go to Liv’s apartment then the hospital. Once the found the notes from your classmates and the suicide note they drove to the hospital. Olivia was waiting in the waiting room and when she saw Fin and Cragen she stood up again, on the verge of tears.

“Liv what happened?” Cragen asks looking her. Oliva cleared her through trying not to cry.

 “I uhh had this feeling something was wrong and when I finally got into the apartment I saw umm the note. I ran to the bathroom and the door was locked so I called 911 and broke down the door. She was just laying there *her voice cracks* y/n looked to helpless it broke me.” Olivia explains and starts crying again. 

Fin pulls her in for a hug and they all three just stand there. Olivia walked away to call Rachel your best friend. Rachel Cabot is Alex Cabot’s daughter and your best friend. The two of you have been through thick and thin together. Olivia knew she needed to call Alex and Rachel so they could be here. 

After calling Alex, who said they would be down there soon, Olivia returned to the waiting room where your doctor came walking out. “Olivia Benson?” She asked softly. 

“That’s me” Olivia said standing and walking forward. “Hi! I’m Arizona Robbins. So me and my team were able to pump Y/n stomach and stich up their wounds. They are still asleep and it might be awhile before they wake up but I can take you back to see them if you want” 

“Yes please” Olivia says letting out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding. As soon as they reached your room, Olivia covered her mouth trying not to cry. She sat next to your bed and held your hand, not wanting to let go. 

Hours later you woke up not knowing where you were. Olivia felt you moving and immediately jumped looking at you with a soft smile. 

“Mommy?” You say barley above a whisper. “Yes baby I’m right here” Olivia says wiping the tears away.

~Days Later~ 

You were sitting on the couch reading your favorite book Little Women. “Y/n can I talk to you about something serious?” Olivia asks walking over and sitting on the coffee table in front of you. “What is it?” You ask setting your book down and turning and looking at her. 

“If you don’t want to talk about it I completely understand but, why didn’t you tell me about the notes from the kids at school?” Olivia asks looking at you watching your facial expressions. 

“I don’t know. I just felt like if you saw them you would agree or would tell me I’m just being dramatic and over reacting.” You say trying not to cry.

“Listen to me Y/n; I will always be here for you to talk or just to cry. I don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t come to me. You are my daughter and I never ever want you to feel like I would judge or yell at you. I love you so much baby” Olivia says opening her arms causing you to jump into her arms hugging her. 

“Thank you. I love you too mom” You smile as she tightens her grip around you.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

sk8 headcanons because i am Bored

autistic langa likes frozen fruit a lot—strawberries are his favorite—because he likes the cool texture

reki has lip freckles that really stand out after he’s been in the sun a lot ! there’s like four or five of them :)

just thinking about “all those friday nights / under the lights / under the bleachers together / you and i were meant to be something more than a faded memory / till you and i / something divided us” but matchablossom,,,

“but i’ve already lost it once / what i already won / i’ve lost too much now to care / but i know that something’s still there” ,,, matchablossom,,, ahhhhh

miya and shadow being besties,,, shadow being miya’s parental figure and miya being his adopted nb child,,,

shadow being the first person miya comes out as nonbinary to,,,

adam going to jail,,,

reki having a stuffed animal collection and letting miya name some and then realizing that miya never had a stuffed animal growing up so reki gives miya one of his older ones that he loved as a child and then buys them a new one too… and miya asks reki to name it for them because sentiments,,,

after seeing the girl he had a crush on kiss someone else, shadow takes out his feelings on the only thing he knows how to—skating at s but he’s not in a good mind and he feels sick because he thought he thought he thought he had a chance and he doesn’t pay close enough attention and gets hurt and miya calls him an idiot and patches him up and shadow feels like a kid again but it’s kind of nice to have someone else actually help with his wounds instead of just attempting to wash them and then cover them with makeup by himself,,,

joe and shadow bonding over hating the feeling of loneliness so they make up for it the only way they know how which is being loud and being extra because they don’t feel as lonely if they’re loud

reki, miya, and cherry = adhd club

cherry and reki drawing together… and reki teaching cherry how to be more loose and carefree when he draws and cherry teaching reki how to add more structure to his art,,,

langa stealing and wearing reki’s headbands,,,

langa with glasses

reki’s sisters doing cherry and joe’s hair,,, or even reki, langa, and miya doing their hair and shadow just watches and takes pictures and reki puts cherry’s hair in fishtails because he had practice with his sisters and cherry secretly likes it (and so does joe) and miya and langa just. completely messing up joe’s hair and putting hair clips in it and langa attempts a ponytail kind of like how cherry does his hair at s (and no cherry did Not find it very attractive shut up)

shadow being a scrapbooker and having like ten scrapbooks from his life,,,

shadow not being as good of an artist as cherry or reki but he does it because he enjoys it and when cherry and reki find out they invite him to draw with them

the crew / sk8 fam all going to shadow’s house and doing a couple scrapbook pages together and it’s a mess but it’s them and it’s one of shadow’s favorite pages because he’s never scrapbooked with anyone before

langa is just naturally beautiful and photogenic so the art squad always asks him to model for them if they want to draw people

joe has depression because i want him to

and shadow has anxiety

because i do Not want any of them to be neurotypical

yeah so joe has depression, shadow has anxiety, cherry has add and anxiety, miya had adhd and separation anxiety, langa is autistic, reki has tourette’s and adhd and depression ✌🏻

when miya gets old enough, shadow gets them a part time job at the flower shop

miya likes a lot of pillows

langa sleeps with no pillows (unless reki is partially his pillow)

thinking about after reki’s second beef with adam,,, joe after he tells adam off and they’re away from the crowd, he passes out because let’s be real—there is absolutely no way he didn’t get injured and the worse one is probably a broken nose and a huge gash at the back of his head with like skin peeling and stuff like need stitches so the gang all goes to cherry’s and they help patch reki up

somewhere in that time the love hotel gets brought up and by extension getting hit by the car and getting beat up and joe and shadow are on the verge of slamming their heads against the wall at reki’s nonchalantness

and reki’s p injured so he’s laying in the couch with his head resting in langa’s lap,,,

joe tells everyone embarrassing cherry stories from school like all the time (but joe was a foolish child so cherry gets revenge)

miya likes crime documentaries

joe unironically watched supernatural and that’s part of the reason why he and cherry broke up

(maybe joe just thought dean was attractive—sue him!)

lol wait what if cherry sued adam to pay for reki’s medical bills since they inevitably had to take him to the hospital

cherry constantly tells joe that he will sue him

joe may unironically watched spn, but cherry unironically watched glee

langa wrote destiel fanfiction once upon a time

langa wrote cas bakes dean a pie--

miya is carla’s favorite (after cherry)

cherry and langa with weighted blankets also

sometimes reki steals langa’s but only if he stays the night or langa brings it over and usually if he “steals” it, it’s them sharing it or reki needs the comfort of the weight if he’s not having a good time mentally lol

joe with depression,,, i just think about that a lot sometimes,,, sometimes cooking feels meaningless and, like langa, he only feels something when he skates but it’s only this temporary feeling of joy and life,,,

and shadow with anxiety,,, over-compensating his anxiety by being shadow at night and being over the top and sometimes mean because internalized ableism,,, and if he pretends he doesn’t have anxiety then maybe he won’t feel it late at night or when everything seems to go wrong during a shift at work and he keeps dropping flowers because his hands are shaking and girls don’t like guys with anxiety, right ??? so shadow thinks that he CAN’T have anxiety :/// poor dude

miya with separation anxiety pushing people away before they get attached because if they push them away before they become friends, then they wouldn’t be able to leave them,,,

langa always bouncing his foot in class and all the time because it’s his main form of stimming (look at that boy and try to tell me he doesn’t bounce his legs like there’s no tomorrow i dare you) and sometimes it makes his legs sore and cherry and joe once recommended using a heating pad if it got really sore and langa does sometimes and it makes him happy

reki with ts having anxiety when he has to speak in front of the class / do presentations because he’s hyper-aware of his tics,,, so he always meets langa’s eyes and watches langa the whole time and langa sometimes mimes taking deep breaths which really helps but honestly just seeing langa makes reki feel like he can do anything (because he would do anything for langa)

cherry doodling to stim as a child and always getting in trouble for it because teachers used to like get pissed when students doodled (or maybe they still do and it’s just always been pissy teachers and not specifically teachers when our parents were kids) and eventually cherry got fed up with getting points docked for doodling so he started writing lists and stuff and been realized he had impeccable handwriting (also joe let cherry doodle on his hand during classes they had together so cherry wouldn’t get in trouble)

cherry once had a dream that he was rachel berry and joe was finn uhh *insert last name here* from glee and joe had a beautiful voice when they sang duets in his dream so he managed to convince joe to sing in reality and turns out joe cannot sing and cherry’s glee dreams were never the same (look i am tired lol)

joe likes being the strong one in the group and he enjoys being able to mess around / show off by just casually picking people up (he also does it as an expression of love because they’re basically hugs depending on how he holds you) and one day cherry is like… done with it ??? and just strolls up to joe and just throws him over his shoulder or something and joe combusts because he did Not know cherry can do that and no his face isn’t red shut up he doesn’t find this attractive what’re you talking about

miya wants a sword and keeps trying to convince everyone to get them one for their birthday but no one will agree because ‘they’ll hurt themselves and everyone else it does not matter that all your favorite characters have swords that does not mean You should have one’

langa is the kind of person that puts peanut butter on a cheeseburger

reki’s love language is a mix of gift giving and acts of service, but he tends to lean more towards giving gifts. his receiving love language is words of affirmation but he does Not know that yet (langa does—hence his constant “you’re amazing, reki”—and eventually so does the rest of their gang lol)

shadow likes theatre

miya has internet friends,,, so does cherry,,,

joe posts those affirmations on his story all the time

reki’s texts are sometime hard to read because a) his hands get injured a lot and b) tourette’s but langa (and soon the others) learn how to read reki texts

langa sleeps with a fan on for white noise

shadow was worried (and feeling a little left out but if he doesn’t acknowledge it, then that emotion is not real… that’s how that works, right???) since he was in the hospital when reki skated against adam the second time, so when they all went back to cherry’s to tend to reki’s numerous wounds and also celebrate friendship, miya kept shadow on a face time call the entire evening

langa has an android phone

reki is super comfortable with periods because he lives with five girls—he also usually has a couple of pads and tampons on him at all times because he’s the older sibling lol

langa wears socks with sandals,,, so does shadow,,,

shadow’s feet get cold easily so he wears fluffy socks a lot

cherry keeps his fingernails at the perfect length to dramatically tap them against the table (also to freak people out by doing that)

miya is Not a morning person

miya also likes having the windows to shadow’s car rolled up because their hair gets in their face otherwise but shadow likes them down so it’s this constant struggle

i still stand by cherry suing ad*m and using the money he won to pay for reki’s medical bills (… and shadow’s… and langa’s if he needs any)

i just feel like many people have reason to sue ad*m

ponytail langa rights

joe had really bad acne as a child and teen and cherry helped him feel less self-conscious about it and helped him embrace having acne and that’s one reason why he exposes so much skin as joe because it’s a reminder of personal growth <3

also joe has acne scars on his chin and cheeks

joe has cherry’s calligraphy all over his walls

ik i already said so in reki with ts headcanons but he doodles pictures for everyone in the sk8 fam and they all keep each and every one and shadow even puts them in his scrapbook

let langa punch adam 2k21

let reki punch adam 2k21

actually they All deserve to punch adam 2k21

miya’s favorite movie is coraline

langa can’t snap his fingers

joe and cherry always argue over whether even numbers or odd numbers are best

miya does esports

joe was in marching band and was in drumline

cherry stays up late to look at the stars and he had those plastic stars taped to his ceiling as a child

reki eats tomatoes like apples and it makes joe want to cry

okay if the atla & and the sk8 characters became internet friends… these are who i think they’d be internet friends with…

cherry: katara

joe: suki

langa: sokka

miya: aang

reki: zuko

shadow: toph

note: suki, joe, miya, and aang are all actually besties. aang is the kind of person that would usually annoy miya but they just can’t dislike aang no matter how much he may want to and they somehow find themselves attached

but suki and miya would also get along really well because I know they would and aang and joe would just have fun and like it’s what they deserve so they are interchangeable / all besties

also sk8 characters if they were benders...

cherry: fire or waterbender,,, cannot decide

joe: earthbender

langa: waterbender

miya: firebender

reki: resident nonbender

shadow: earthbender

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

Toni has a type but don’t tell her I don’t even think she knows.

It’s not physical though. Regan is non-white, short, and brunette, Shelby is tall and blonde and fucking Texan. They look very different from one another.

But she does have a type, and it’s the worst type. Get ready: Toni likes theatre kids.

Regan’s first line in the show is literally some rehearsed bullshit line. Like it literally sounds like she was rehearsing it in her head to say to a cute girl.

“You know in history they made us watch a movie about the civil war. Tons of blood and guts. And in gym class they made me jump rope even though I forgot my sports bra. And now what? I have to disembowel a pig? So I guess the real question is like: is high school just a series of tortures?”

Who the fuck talks like that. She didn’t even say hello first she just launched into this monologue.

Regan in a later scene says she “imagined rolling up all slick” on Toni when Toni was walking home to give her a ride. And then during the ride she fucking serenades her. Toni is literally not even making eye contact and Regan is serenading her. Who but a theatre kid? I mean, sure Regan is literally in band, but you know what I mean. You know what type of person I’m talking about. When they say I love you for the first time Regan boldly says it and Toni whispers it back in her ear.

Like.

Regan and Shelby are both theatre kids, extroverted and stuff.

It also kinda made me realize that when Toni’s not blowing up at people she’s kinda quiet. Like, she’s not like Fatin or even Rachel she’s kinda more shy and introverted. (Not that I believe extroversion and introversion is a thing, but that’s a whole separate tedtalk) Like there’s the clam and stuff but that’s more physical comedy. Toni doesn’t really have a snarky one liner every so often like Rachel does, or is constantly spitting jokes like Fatin. She’s just kinda, chillin in the sand.

And like who does she make friends with? Outgoing, dancer/theatre kid martha. Like it’s martha who loudly burps after her rehearsal and who helps toni make a move on Regan. Martha out of the two of them is the more sociable pair. And also Martha is her only friend, she doesn’t have a friend group like Shelby does.

Toni might show off physically with a basketball, but when she’s actually just talking to people she’s not usually the one to initiate, prefers to follow the flow.