#the... everything of Wei Wuxian's life and death does not come between them

[incarnadinedreams]

This isn't really new or anything but the more I reread random passages the more convinced I am that there's something very unique about the way Jiang Cheng reacts to Wen Ning and it's just so interesting!

I'm convinced it's more than just being angry. It's more than just hating him, or blaming him for Jin Zixuan's death or his sister's life. It's more than being a Wen, and it comes long before so many of those tragedies unfold anyway.

There's a sort of urgent, visceral reaction to Wen Ning's presence that just has this different feeling to it than how he reacts to any of the other characters. Even characters he has strong emotional responses to, it's never with the same panic or recklessness. It's not the same as the whole "vengeful wrath, fathomless hatred, or raving ecstasy" situation he's got going on with Wei Wuxian (sexy as that might be).

When it's Wei Wuxian, it's all "...well, well. So you're back?" and "Haven't you got anything to say to me?" Even when he's not being very nice, even when he's throwing teacups and furious at Wei Wuxian, there's still an edge of calmness in the way he lashes out. He's fucking mad but he's had more than a decade to think about this and he's got things to say and he's trying so hard to get a reaction from Wei Wuxian that he just won't give him.

But he can't tolerate having Wen Ning anywhere near him. Much of the time he instantly lashes out, physically, in ways to create space between them. He's mean to Wen Ning, but he doesn't really have much to say to him; he just wants to get away from him.

It really stuck out to me how instinctive and instantaneous and emotional that reaction is when I was reading this passage from chapter 81 (ExR translation since I've got it on hand in digital text form), when Jin Ling returns Zidian and rushes back into the fray during the Second Siege:

When Jiang Cheng was unaware, he stuffed Zidian's ring back into his hand and sprinted toward the crowd, all the way up to the most dangerous area before the mouth of the cave. Jiang Cheng was about to chase after him when he managed to slice a few corpses, staggering. He felt that Sandu was no lighter than hundreds of pounds. Two female corpses threw themselves at him from both directions.

Jiang Cheng cursed. As he lifted his sword again, another pair of hands tore the two corpses into pieces, "Sect Leader..."

Jiang Cheng lost his temper as soon as he heard the voice. He kicked Wen Ning away and cursed, "Get the fuck away from me!"

Obviously that is not very nice and poor Wen Ning didn't deserve a kick for being legitimately helpful there, but the point is that not only does he lash out - the reaction happens even when he's clearly got higher priorities going on in a chaotic situation. Throughout that entire event he reacts in a somewhat more even-keeled way to almost everything except Wen Ning being in his vicinity.

And it's not just after Wen Ning's death, not just after he became Wei Wuxian's greatest weapon, not just after he was forced to kill Jin Zixuan - it's specifically a pattern established from the moment he woke up in the Supervisory Office without a core:

Before he could say anything, those sun robes reflected against Jiang Cheng's eyes. His pupils suddenly shrunk.

Jiang Cheng kicked Wen Ning, toppling over the bowl of medicine. The black liquid all spilled onto Wen Ning. Wei WuXian wanted to take the bowl of medicine. He pulled up Wen Ning as well, who had been shocked speechless. Jiang Cheng roared at him, "What's wrong with you?!"

At this point he doesn't even know how he was rescued, since he was unconscious for all of that, and thinks they're in a Wen trap and likely going to die (or worse). But there's so many echoes of that interaction again, and again, and again between them.

And combined with Wen Ning's remarks during the scene just before this, where he tells Wei Wuxian about the discipline whip injuries and how Jiang Cheng 'should have other injuries as well', the way the narrative is so deliberately ambiguous on what exactly occurred, it all makes me want to crawl up the walls and gnaw on the light fixtures wailing WHAT DID YOU SEE, WEN NING?! WHAT DID YOU SEE?

At a minimum, Jiang Cheng knows that Wen Ning was there at Lotus Pier prior to his capture by the Wen guards, because they'd both seen Wen Ning examining Jiang corpses on the training field before they fled for Meishan.

But everything after that is only implication and subtext and suppositions and speculation, not directly stated in the text. But based on his reaction, you can pry my headcanon from my cold dead hands that that Wen Ning probably witnessed all or much of what happened to Jiang Cheng after he was captured, and Jiang Cheng knows it.

I've also posted before how I think there's an at least nonzero chance that Jiang Cheng was never directly told that Wen Ning wasn't actually there with Wen Chao when they saw him early on, but came later to try to help (because when Wen Ning gives Wei Wuxian that information Jiang Cheng isn't conscious, and nobody tells Jiang Cheng anything. I don't think that headcanon changes much either way, but there is a slight difference, at least emotionally, between 'I helped you while I was there to slaughter your clan and destroy your life' and 'I came when I heard my crazy cousin was slaughtering your clan and tried to help you' and I think it's a juicy thing to add to the pile of misunderstandings they each have of the other's motivations and actions).

Which, if I go with these two ideas together, really drives home what a bespoke and specific nightmare the way the Golden Core reveal played out - not only the substance of the reveal, but the fact it was Wen Ning who revealed it.

He was already furious that they were even there at Lotus Pier, particularly Wen Ning. But the way it all happens it feels like it's not just echoes of the amplified emotions of the confrontation with Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian in the Ancestral Hall, it's not just Wen Ning being a Wen, or even Jin Zixuan's death, the way the narration calls out. It feels like there are deeper layers to it.

I also feel a bit stupid for not noticing before this probably extremely obvious to literally everyone else who isn't a dumbass like me parallel of Wen Ning getting a gruesome scorching whip mark across his chest at Lotus Pier in the course of saving Wei Wuxian (more or less, sort of - we know as readers Jiang Cheng was intentionally trying not to hurt them with Zidian, but I don't think Wen Ning knew that when he jumped in).

Jiang Cheng looked to find that the uninvited guest was Wen Ning. Immediately, he raged, "Who let you inside Lotus Pier?! How dare you!"

He could manage to tolerate others, but definitely not Wen Ning, the Wen-dog who put his hand through Jin ZiXuan's heart and ended both his sister's happiness and her life. Just a look, and he felt the urge to kill him right there. How dare he step foot on the earth of Lotus Pier—he really was looking for his death!

Because of the two lives and many other reasons, Wen Ning had always felt guilty, and so he'd always been somewhat scared of Jiang Cheng, consciously avoiding him all the time. Right now, however, he blocked Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi as he faced him, taking the hard lash. A gruesome scorch climbed across his chest, but still he didn't flinch.

I don't know that it actually means anything but it's making me FEEL THINGS incoherently at this specific moment, so. Also I find it legitimately sad that Wen Ning has to live with guilt over things that happened when he was controlled by someone else, though the scene before the Ancestral Hall when Jin Ling starts crying on the boat is probably a better example of that. Anyway.

It's just there's so, so many layers to how uniquely horrible it is for Jiang Cheng that he not only finds out about the Golden Core transfer this way, but also that Wen Ning, specifically, directly witnessed this life-shatteringly huge deception and sacrifice too - while Jiang Cheng was unconscious, no less.

And, well, we know how everything got capped off in that scene...

Obviously the shock of the information was going to get a huge reaction no matter what, no matter who or how he found out. Even without the Wen Ning element, it already hits every one of his deepest weaknesses and insecurities and fears.

But to come from the guy who'd witnessed his family being slaughtered, who'd witnessed who-knows-what humiliations heaped on him (who also happens to be the same fucking guy that Wei Wuxian thought it was worth leaving Yunmeng Jiang for, breaking his promise for...), the guy he blames for his sister's tragic fate (whether that blame is misplaced or not), the guy he exhibits a panic response towards even decades later, and goddamn.

There are just so many layers to this perfect little nightmare reveal on so many different levels aren't there?

There's just SO much meaty stuff for these two to dig into post-canon and all we get is an extra with a 'oh yeah sometimes Jiang Cheng yells on night hunts and Wen Ning is there' about it?!

I should probably just shut up and go read some Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning focused fics or something (whether romantic or platonic that's probably an area I really haven't explored enough vs. the amount of sheer interesting hints and material the novel gives to work with! If by some miracle anyone made it to the end of this beast feel free to drop any recs that explore them, especially that 'what did Wen Ning see?!' aspect of the whole situation because that is the current little brain worm haunting me right now).

[bl-bracket]

Best Siblings Final Round: Jiang Yanli & Wei Wuxian & Jiang Cheng (The Untamed) vs Minoru & Tane (Our Dining Table)

[Submitted Reasons Under Cut]

Jiang Yanli & Wei Wuxian & Jiang Cheng: "I find it really hard to talk about them without going on a rant and crying. Yanli is the best big sister ever. She always puts her brothers first without fail and her care for them is the glue they need when they argue. Even though Wei Wuxian is not their biological sibling, trust and believe Yanli will shut down anyone who tries to minimize their relationship or claim Wei Wuxian isn’t her brother. In return, Wei Wuxian is fiercely protective of Yanli and will literally kill anyone who touches her. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian both love her to absolute bits. The relationship between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian is more complicated, but contains no less love. Ripped apart by circumstances out of their control on top of being constantly compared to each other growing up, they still have each other’s backs and canonically would die for each other and prove this multiple times. Yunmeng trio my beloved❤️"

Minoru & Tane: "Minoru and Tane are both wonderful characters and they bring so much complexity and sweetness out in each other. They've been through one of the most difficult losses imaginable together, the death of their mother. Being a parental figure to his younger brother isn't always easy for Minoru, and it doesn't always come naturally. But he always puts Tane first. When their mother died, everything else in Minoru's life was put on hold so that he could help care for Tane, including his social life. But he never resents Tane for this or takes it out on him. This might seem like a one-sided relationship, but it isn't. Tane has a lot to offer Minoru in return. He's an extremely sweet little boy who absolutely adores his big brother. His creativity, his humor, and his absolutely lethal level of cuteness bring joy to Minoru's life in a way nothing else does--until they meet Yutaka. Even then, Tane is the reason they got to know Yutaka in the first place. In lots of different ways, he creates the conditions needed for Minoru's relationship with Yutaka to be established, not least of which is the way their shared affection for Tane gives them something to bond over. But that's only one of the ways that Tane brings happiness, liveliness, and charm into Minoru's life. Bottom line, these brothers love each other immeasurably, are incredibly adorable together, and make each other's lives better every day."

[fierrochase-falafel]

MDZS, CQL and the passage of time

MDZS novel and CQL spoilers ahead!

There's this thing where despite The Untamed / CQL having Wei Wuxian be dead for 16 years instead of 13, everything is meant to feel so much rawer and closer in time than the novel I feel. For a start, naturally having 30 episodes straight of flashback sequencing before depicting an immediate reconcilation between Wangxian really imprints those flashbacks much closer in your mind than Wei Wuxian's actual ressurrection, which happened in episode 1.

Furthermore, there are also these other flashbacks when Wei Wuxian sees something reminiscent of his past, different instrumentals played initially in the flashbacks coming back again to remind you of the themes those instrumentals represent. One of the most distinct examples I remember is in episode 2, when CQL Wei Wuxian sees a vision of Wen Qing introducing Dafan Mountain as the place where her branch of the Wen clan lives in CQL and then remembers the dancing fairy statue. This never happened in the novel- partially because, in CQL, Wei Wuxian was introduced to characters and locations / concepts WAY before he found out about them in the novel (eg.- YiCheng characters, Meng Yao, Dafan Mountain, demonic cultivation in the form of the Yin Iron). By entrenching these places and characters so far back into Wei Wuxian's past- all the way back to his Gusu days, in fact- they feel much more central in the overall plot and connected to the modern storylines involving rediscovering them. Wei Wuxian isn't being thrown into a new world at all, it's the same world with all the loose ends to be tied up. This does force him to remember the past more to deal with the present, and also links the show together in a way that would engage people who have come to watch a put-together story (this sort of strong cohesion I think is less required in novels than in a series because of the way the story needs to flow from 1 episode to the next to be coherent). In the novel, Wei Wuxian's own past storyline has a much slimmer connection to the current events- the obvious kicker being Jin Guangyao in CQL was the main reason Wei Wuxian was villainised and it all comes together in the end, but novel Jin Guangyao just accelerated the process of Wei Wuxian becoming the scapegoat and made this very clear. He didn't know Wei Wuxian would kill Jin Zixuan, he said; even though Jin Guangyao's not the most trustworthy character, how on earth could he have predicted that Wei Wuxian would lose control if he wasn't there to influence him like in CQL?

However, there are even more flashback scenes like the one in episode 35, where Wei Wuxian flashes back to Nie Huiasang being excited about fans and then compliments modern-day Nie Huiasang's fan. Scenes like these cannot be explained by the changed plot because Nie Huiasang and Wei Wuxian being friends at 15 in the Cloud Recesses is canon in all versions of MDZS. Personally, seeing this scene, the strongest effect I can garner from it is nostalgia for simpler times, for people he used to be close with. Memories are flooding CQL Wei Wuxian the minute he's alive again. Contrast this exact scene with MDZS, where Wei Wuxian zones out for a good while after Nie Huiasang leaves- no words of companionship or nostalgia or anything.

Novel Wei Wuxian rarely remembers any of his past life in detail unless he fully means to, actively giving himself reminiscing time, or in a life-or-death situation. The 3 flashback sequences in the novel begin:

when Wei Wuxian decides very specifically to muse over his past with Lan Wangji,

when Wei Wuxian gets stabbed and has to be taken away from Golden Carp Tower,

when everyone turns on him in the Burial Mounds with the same words and having the same intent they did at Nightless City (to harm him, to besiege him).

I think novel Wei Wuxian has spent 13 years in the afterlife getting used to wallowing over his memories, and then consequently repressing and ignoring memories from his past life because they were all associated with pain and bitterness and so much guilt (traumatic, even, but I can't say much from a perspective of trauma because I neither have trauma nor am qualified to know enough about it). Nobody cared for him anymore in his eyes, and he DID lose control, fully feeling himself lose control and accidentally cause the deaths of people he genuinely cared about. The worst-case scenario that he had to contend with actually happening and being, to some degree, his fault. With 13 years to exist as a ghost, I think he had so much time in which he would've had to contend with his choices and death that he fully removed himself from his old life as much as possible, leading to his modern-day gap in memories. You feel the effect of his years dealing with his emotions about this whole mess.

In contrast, CQL Wei Wuxian feels like he is experiencing everything raw when he comes back into the world, like he hasn't been practicing repression to the point of memory loss. Maybe he wasn't conscious during his years as dead? He's introduced with Mo Xuanyu calling to him in his brain during the sacrificial ritual, I think, and is getting told he IS Mo Xuanyu and he is...a tad confused. And then disappointed, but I mean given what Yiling Laozu Wei Wuxian had come to expect after the fiascos that ended his life, he probably wouldn't be too surprised or confused anyways. My theory is that CQL Wei Wuxian likely was unconscious when he was dead whereas MDZS Wei Wuxian was not.

This doesn't seem...important. However it does change who Wei Wuxian is and why he does the things that he does upon reincarnation. Novel Wei Wuxian taking every opportunity to drape himself over Lan Wangji with the purpose of pushing him away makes a lot of sense for a guy who's convinced the worst thing he could do to someone is get too close to/with them; he goes ahead with making a ruckus and trying to make Lan Wangji uncomfortable- without shame (because that's gotta erode away after being dead and reviled for 13 years) and without considering the possibility that Lan Wangji might want to help. Why would he consider that? He doesn't see himself worthy of help or believe anyone would help him, and he's internalised that for years on years.

CQL Wei Wuxian though, he faints on Dafan Mountain due to the weight of his memories- he's confronted with so much of the past so fast and his response is to faint. Barely any ruckus at all. When Lan Wangji finds out who he is, they have a calm conversation about it, where novel Wei Wuxian is like "oh frick he called me Wei Ying" and pretends nothing happened. CQL Wei Wuxian is a lot more open, and I think part of that is because he woke up from his death and was given the support he needed in his previous life within a couple of days. He didn't feel the years go by, have to deal with the consequences of the things he did alone (and in CQL 60% of them weren't even his own actions), so he didn't build himself the same kind of emotional fortress novel Wei Wuxian did.

CQL Wei Wuxian is jaded, true, but not the kind of jaded that comes with floating around in the afterlife for over a decade. It's easier for him to get back into this world and solve a little murder mystery together with Lan Wangji- they fall into step with each other perfectly- while novel Wei Wuxian is still getting his footing. Thus, CQL Wangxian's relationship doesn't evolve the way book Wangxian's do in Wei Wuxian's new life, and Wei Wuxian's reason to be back in this new life is far more about getting back that which he lost (Lan Wangji, a claim to justice) as opposed to gaining something else, something new and all the more important for it (a newfound relationship with Lan Wangji). Novel Wei Wuxian being so out of sync with the new world around him, in both memories and relationships, means that he has so much more room to grow in his present life as he can stop being haunted by the past. I'm not saying this is better than CQL, that's really up to what you like in your media, but this puts Wei Wuxian in a very different position in MDZS than in CQL, and also fundamentally changes their purposes and outlook on their new lives. Whether the focus of his character development takes place in the past or in the present. Whether it's about tying up the loose ends of the past, or chucking out the tapestry of the past to weave a new future.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Sleep in

Inspired by this post:

This is written especially so someone doesn't ever call for a mutiny against me again for being evil and writing angst, you know who you are.

Everyone else, enjoy!

Warnings: angst and death

Morning light filters through the window, gentle and warm, a golden undertone to the white glow. It shines beautifully on Lan Wangji’s face, bathing it as if into a halo.

Wei Wuxian caresses his cheek, the touch feather-light, the skin underneath his fingertips soft.

“You’re so beautiful in the morning, Lan Zhan. Most people look a mess when they wake up, yet you’re nothing short of a god.”

Lan Wangji’s eyelids flutter open, molten gold glimmering in the sunlight as his eyes take in his surroundings and his husband’s beautiful face, loving and fond, hair cascading over his form like endless, dark rivulets.

“I’m so happy to have you, Lan Zhan. To have had you.” His fingers trace over the man’s sharp jawline, and stop at the seam of his lips. “I love you more than words could say, more than I could ever express through anything I’d ever do.”

Lan Wangji tries a smile, the corners of his mouth weakly turning upwards.

“I know you said there is no need for thank yous between the two of us... but I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for me, for everything we’ve done together.”

Lan Wangji wishes he could open his mouth to say something, or move his body to hold his husband in response to his words. But he cannot do more than look at him, eyes heavy, blurry with unshed tears.

Wei Wuxian knows – they’ve always been so synchronized – so he envelops Lan Wangji in his arms instead, and presses a kiss to the top of his head, a kiss that’s wet with salty tears.

“I love you so much, Lan Zhan. I love you and I love our life and our marriage and our kids and...” deep, shaky breath, “...and I want you to know that it’s okay. You’ve been so brave, you’ve beaten all of the odds... but you can rest now, my love. You can let go.”

Lan Wangji sighs, deeply, as if the air had been trapped inside of his lungs for far too long. Wei Wuxian presses his lips to his husband’s hair, and lets his tears fall freely as he runs his hands gently down Lan Wangji’s back, in comfort.

He feels the ridges of the man’s whip scars and his heart squeezes, as it always does when he remembers they exist, but he doesn’t dwell on them this time. Instead, he tries to imprint into his mind the warmth of his love’s body, the contours of him, the smell of him, everything.

Lan Wangji sighs again, just as deeply, and Wei Wuxian feels his eyelashes caress his collarbones as his eyes close. His muscles relax, slowly, then all at once, and his breaths come out in longer and longer intervals.

“I... love you...” Lan Wangji manages, somehow, putting all his might, all his heart and soul into uttering those three words that he’s always felt like he’d never get to say enough.

Wei Wuxian can’t hide a sob now, and leans down to leave one final kiss to his husband’s now colorless lips.

He feels the last of his breath as Lan Wangji moves against his lips ever so slightly before his body goes lax in Wei Wuxian’s arms, heavy and lifeless.

Wei Wuxian will have to let the servants know about it so all the funerary rituals could proceed. He will have to announce his family – no, their family – and their children, and... deal with everything else that came after.

But the sun has just risen, and it still bathes Lan Wangji’s features in a golden halo, and if Wei Wuxian tries hard enough, he can still feel the last embers of his husband’s warmth.

He will have to face the world and the reality of iy soon.

But now he holds the only thing he has left of his husband and sleeps.

Sleeps in his favorite place, for the very last time.

[mxtxfanatic]

I said I ultimately don’t respect Lan Xichen, and I don’t. BUT, there were a few places where I did respect the effort he put in to trying to find the truth behind Nie Mingjue’s dismembered corpse and into not completely disregarding Lan Wangji’s and Wei Wuxian’s suspicions.

Lan XiChen walked over, and Lan WangJi looked at him. As their eyes met, Lan XiChen’s expression hesitated before immediately becoming more complex, as though he found something unbelievable. It seemed that he already understood...

...He spoke, “A-Yao, would it be possible to let us in and allow us to take a look at your treasure room?”

–Chapt. 50: Guile, exr

Lan XiChen, “It does not sound different indeed. However, it definitely is not part of Cleansing.”

If it was a normal mistake, it wouldn’t blend so seamlessly into the other sections of the original song. This melody had to have been purposely polished before it was put in here. And this unfamiliar melody, not part of Cleansing but mixed into it, was likely the key to Nie MingJue’s death.

After a while of thought, Lan XiChen spoke, “You two can follow me.”

–Chapt. 63: Tenderness, exr

Lan XiChen took into his hands the piece of paper with the score on it. He stared at it for a while, “I will find some way to try this score.”...

...Lan XiChen supported his head on his hand. His voice was low, as though he was trying to hold something back, “WangJi, the version of Jin GuangYao that I know is entirely different compared to the version that you know and the version that the world knows! Throughout all these years, in my eyes, he has always been... enduring his suffer, caring for all people, treating everyone with respect. I have always believed, without a doubt, that the criticism he received from others all came from misunderstandings, that what I knew how he truly is. Now, you want me to believe, at once, that everything about this person is fake, that he planned to kill one of his sworn brothers, that I was also a part of his plan and even helped him... Could you please allow me some more discretion before I make my own judgement?”

–Chapt. 64: Tenderness, exr

Wei WuXian understood now. Since ZeWu-Jun and LianFang-Zun had quite a good relationship, Lan XiChen had given Jin GuangYao a token of passage as well so that he could visit freely. However, it was likely that within the past few days he had either edited the prohibitions of the Cloud Recesses’ barrier or retracted the permission of Jin GuangYao’s token of passage.

–Chapt. 65: Tenderness, exr

Lan Xichen is in a tough spot: he’s never before been challenged in his perceptions of other people nor been forced to pick a side between those he loves. The only other dilemma that comes close to matching what he faces in uncovering Jin Guangyao’s treachery is the the morality behind Madam Lan murdering a Lan teacher, Qingheng-jun marrying Madam Lan who did not love him back to save her life, and he and the rest of the Lan Clan imprisoning her for the rest of her life while denying her the right to raise her children. Had Lan Xichen looked into this matter, his opinion on at least one of these three side–if not all of them–would be irrevocably changed, so he avoids this by simply not investigating the truth.

However in this murder investigation, he chooses to proceed with finding the truth. True, he doesn’t have the luxury of ignoring it, as this involves the death of someone close to him directly tied to another man that he is close to, with he, himself, acting as the linchpin tying them all together. Plus, this situation is much bigger than intra-clan politics and would have farther-reaching consequences. But when has that stopped any other clan leader from burying their heads in the sand and refusing to seek truth in favor of convenient assumptions? We watched everyone (Lan Xichen, included) throw Wei Wuxian to the wolves for simply not following cultivator etiquette, so it wouldn’t be anything new. Lan Xichen choosing to continue investigating shows a departure from his earlier mentality and, if not for his direct actions, the truth of Nie Mingjue’s death might have been harder to uncover.

And ultimately, this:

Lan XiChen, “Do you think that this was right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

Lan XiChen looked somewhat lost, “Then, what do you think would be right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

–Chapt. 64: Tenderness, exr

...is what gives me (minor) sympathy for Lan Xichen. He’s struggling so much in these chapters. He wants it to be easy to make a decision and pick a side and not be pulled in so many different directions by formerly coexisting but now conflicting allegiances (don’t we all), and it isn’t. It never will be, and he knows this. But he moves forward anyways, despite the difficulties in amending his worldview, of having to reevaluate a friendship he’s kept for almost two decades with a man who saved his life. He’s struggling, yes, but in the right direction, and that effort earns him some respect from me.

[ghooostbaby]

watching everything everywhere all at once made me have so many thoughts about what it is about the connections between hua cheng and he xuan that hit me so hard. it’s this sidestepping of the importance of origins and fate. it moved me so much when it was revealed that joy just wanted her mom to be with her, to share with her the horror at the “everything”, infinity, meaninglessness. and in an inversion of that, evelyn wanted to push her daughter away from her and the nothing, void, meaninglessness of her own life, so she wouldn’t be like her. their origins from each other pulls them together in the future. and i guess they healed together, like a cycle coming back around. so much of this is because of the way evelyn fights for her daughter, and learns from her husband the tools she needs to fight - laughter, kindness...

so what if that doesn’t happen? what if those bonds just fade away, the parent doesn’t fight for their child. i think of hua cheng, unconnected to his family of origin, with his mother gone, the family he has doesn’t seem to be his people at all. the things he attaches to are outside of them - remnants of his mother who is long since gone by the time he is only ten years old, and xie lian, a complete stranger who shows him compassion. the notion of hereditary cycles and healing that is such a popular trope just falls away when it comes to him (and most people who have survived child abuse). the family you come from has nothing to do with you, there is no healing to be found there. there is no possibility of return, or desire to. (and what a queer act it is to figure yourself into a lineage, generational connection, or any deep family-like bond with someone who is not a blood relation.)

(side note this is a reason why i really resent when people insist on making jiang cheng and wei wuxian of mdzs reconcile, when the fact that wei wuxian never reconciles with the family he grew up with but DOES find healing, purpose, and love in the end with other people, particularly a group of people he had seemed completely incompatible with at the start, is one of very few stories that offers a possibility of healing for people who cannot return to their original family.)

i was reading this book studying the concept of what ‘home’ is by interviewing refugees, specifically refugees from cyprus who had been settled in the UK for decades, how they enacted the work of creating a new home in a new place after having left the original home ... and it struck me how the ocean is this non-place in between from the original home and the new home to be created when people migrate from one to the other. and to occupy the ocean as a home is to reject ‘home’ and stay in the liminal in-between space most people only come to in order to move through. which of course reminds me of he xuan, and ghosts in general, occupying the liminal space of death that most people arrive at only move on to the other side.

i get more and more interested in ghosts all the time. and how in tgcf they’re really this archetype of profound hope, desire, passion, sincerity, and goodness, contradictorily, while the gods are cynical, self-serving, small-minded, tiresome, mundane.

the pathways he xuan and hua cheng as ghosts take is so interesting for what they abandon, the way they abandon their origins and even themselves (or their original selves). they don’t move forward in a trajectory toward a resolution or return that makes sense on a scale of linear progress that is (supposedly) typical human pattern. they move into endless transformation and expansion, into other forms, other beings, becoming a something else, an other and an other and an other ... they follow a twisting path that goes nowhere in particular, as long as it follows their own desire deeper and deeper into itself, wherever that leads, whatever that is.

(gotta write something about he xuan and hua cheng’s malleable, transforming, non-stable, non-fixed bodies soon too!!)

he xuan and hua cheng are very different as well, and don’t fit perfectly, as much as they are parallel and connected by the coincidence of how they end up as similar beings. that’s what interesting to me about their connection - it’s not fated, it’s not a return. it’s something else. their bond is not something that makes sense of their past or fixes anything, it’s a complete chance that they end up in the same place at the same time, with complementary goals and skills.

unlike hua cheng, he xuan has this rootedness in his family and a sense of who he is in his connection to them, but he loses them and becomes a ghost and the way he adapts to the circumstances of the centuries, his desire and determination to stay and live and fight has him transforming and shifting away from the person he was in the past. huaxuan don’t seemed meant for each other in the sort of way that hualian has this beautiful symmetry, the way most romances have this demand for symmetry and balance, ordering something sensible and meaningful out of heartbreaks of the past that are returned to and answered for by this romance of the present/future.

it’s like the shore that meets the ocean is just land that happens to be there. at the end of a journey from a home that is no longer safe, the traveller finds a place to make a new home that is just a place that happens to be available for them that they might not necessarily like or want, it may not have poetic connections to their original home that soothe them that it will all make sense, it’s just a place that’s there that they will have to make a home out of. and i really have come across so few stories when an original home, or a foundational relationship are truly truly lost and gone forever, and it’s still ok, miraculously. and huaxuan is that story in my mind. it just seems miraculous to me to create a home out of anything, anywhere, by your choice to make it one.

[rosethornewrites]

11/25-12/8 T & G reading

The usual

Finished

Teen:

Darkest time, by LilacNeko (7 chapters)

Lan Wangji dies and the cultivation world is left to live with the aftermath.

stillness was my comfort, by sami (9th in a series)

There was a funeral. They buried a casket containing eighty kilograms of ballast in his grave.

Guide Me Home, by geethr75 (14 chapters)

When Wen Qing realises that being in the Burial Mounds is killing Wei Wuxian, she decides to approach Jiang Wanyin for help. Little does she expect the result of that decision.

EXTREMELY JIANG CHENG FRIENDLY.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Whatever you do, by apathyinreverie (2 chapters)

During the attack on Cloud Recesses, both Jades of Lan are captured. It changes everything. Not so much by way of their capture. But rather by way of who ends up coming to their rescue.

(Or, a Wei-Ying-is-appreciated fic. ‘Cause, there can never be enough of those.)

General:

Disliking Seperation, by SallySPT (4 chapters)

Nearly a year after the events at Guanyin Temple, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian return to the cultivation world to participate in the Cultivation Conference. Many things have changed in the year that they were gone.

Or Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian adopt a child while traveling and the cultivation world doesn’t know how to react.

When Fate Opens a Window, Let Us Fly Through It, by JaimeBlue

Nie Mingjue wakes up during one of the Lan visits to Qinghe with his best friend in his arms, something tied to his wrist, and someone knocking at his door. He finds out the hard way just what it means when a Lan's forehead ribbon is tied to someone else's wrist.

Fate Strikes Again - Come Fly With Me, by JaimeBlue (2nd in a series)

In Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji wakes up hungover with his forehead ribbon tied between him and Wei Wuxian. He knows exactly who is behind it, but before he can even think of speaking the truth, he discovers Wei Ying isn't as averse as he thought he would be. Things go much better than he expected... and Lan Wangji manages *not* to kill Nie Huaisang.

Unfinished

Teen:

Talking is Better than Silence, by KuroiWrites (blackcatkuroi)

"This path harms the body. Harms the nature of one's heart even more." Lan WangJi spoke those words upon first seeing Wei Wuxian alive after the Burial Mounds, unknowing of the truth.

Wei Wuxian, though, didn't need to be told, and he accepted that he'd lost whatever he might have once had with Lan WangJi. Several nights later, in a moment of drunken weakness under the melancholic light of a full moon, he tells Lan WangJi the Truth. He'd never needed Lan WangJi to spell out his fate for him - he'd known since he walked out of the Burial Mounds alive.

But one small bit of honesty can go a long way, and Talking is far better than Silence.

Shards of Hope, by Dreaming_Days

He had built his life with the coldest calculation. Clawed his way to power with unhesitating ruthlessness. Destroyed anyone who would impede him. Betrayed even the few who had truly cared for him. And, in the end, utterly forsaken, Jin Guangyao died.

Then, 25 years earlier, Meng Yao woke up.

The Twin Ghosts of Yunmeng, by sandupommelfrog

After months of planning to resettle the Wen remnants and stop Wei Wuxian’s terminal decline from demonic cultivation, disaster struck, and Jiang Cheng was left alone, throwing away everything to try to save his brother including his life and his sect. But, he can’t let his own death stop him from his duty to his people or his love for his nephew, and Jiang Cheng breathes again to begin the slog of rebuilding. The years are long, the world is dangerous, and his own health is a daily battle, but Jiang Cheng is not alone this time.

Even with Yunmeng Jiang destroyed, the outside world still fears the vengeance the Twin Ghosts of Yunmeng will wreak upon them, and they will rise again as snakes writhe in Koi Tower and the tangles of deception gradually untwist.

Also a mer au :D

Familiar Stranger, by weavingBlue

Already worried about Wei Ying after he fled Qiongqi Path with the Wen prisoners, Lan Wangji feels driven to distraction by a brilliant and oddly familiar cultivator who keeps popping up everywhere.

In the mean time, the Wen remnants and Wei Wuxian start stumbling across mysterious gifts and supplies when they least expect it.

...Clearly it must be a plot.

Alternate Headcanons, by nirejseki

Random assortment of MDZS ficlets in response to a request for prompts for alternate headcanons for characters

from my paintbrush to your lips, by stiltonbasket (5th in a series)

"...we noted that Emperor Chifeng's consorts left a well-preserved paper trail, as did his sole empress, Lan Xichen (posth. Empress Zhangxing). The highest-ranking consort in the harem was Empress Zhangxing's younger sister, Lan Wangji (Imperial Noble Consort Rui), who attained the rank of huang-guifei during a period of political unrest coinciding with the birth of her first nephew, Emperor Tianjing. Her diaries indicate that she was brought to the palace to serve as the infant Tianjing’s foster mother, and that she likely did not share an intimate relationship with Emperor Chifeng. Her closest relationship seems to have been with Imperial Concubine Ye, born Wei Wuxian in late ----.

"Below, we have compiled a partial collection of Lan Wangji's letters, written over the four years preceding Imperial Concubine Ye's entry into the harem.”

Rabbit Charm, by aoeros

“You gotta promise me that when you’re back home and settled in, I’ll be the first you come to see. Because I’m going to miss you more than anyone else will, Lán Zhàn. Except your brother, of course.”

“Of course. I promise to come find you first after I’ve settled back in.”

“Great! Then I promise to call you whenever I can. And, I will definitely not forget you.”

Instead, by apathyinreverie

Wei Ying is found by someone other than Wen Chao after the Core transfer.

Or, the one where Wei Ying is never thrown into the Burial Mounds, never invents demonic cultivation. He still manages to become the lynchpin of the Sunshot Campaign anyway.

Making Different Choices (For A More Hopeful Future), by Preludian_Staves (locked to signed in ao3 users)

Through a bout of unexpected time traveling, they decide to usurp Fate's plans and do their best to make different choices to create a more hopeful future.

General:

he, who died, is ignorant, by Maxciel_99

Jiang Cheng is thirteen when his eyes lose the shine that has always mirrored Wei Wuxian’s wild spirit. And then no longer is he a shadow of anyone but merely a shell of himself.

Here is a man who is served the world, for once, but he has turned a boy who finally stops wishing and wanting all at once.

_

Or basically, JC time travels somehow and he's acting strange. Likely depressed? Who knows?

What's Your Truth?, by xxxMiaHikarixxx

Lan Qiren brings in class a cursed object for his students to examine thinking its curse can't be triggered since no students in his class hold any romantic feelings for each other. However, the item is triggered. What happens next is quite unexpected.

[freewilllife]

Lol imagine nitpicking the author's words to only see what you want to see. She literally adds the words 'wouldn't be too much dispute between them.' It possibly could not be that maybe Lwj excels in virtue or WWX in character, or that both of them have highly idealistic traits to have, no? Just because she tells us to be like Lwj in virtue does not mean WWX lacks virtue, that's your own incorrect assumption.

Look if an author makes a certain distinction, you can bet that she or he thought something about it, because a good author, like MXTX, knows how to use words. It is that easy. And if she merely pointed to Lang Wangji regarding his virtue and not Wei Wuxian, you can bet that there was reason behind it.

Run, where exactly? Literally where could he have run where he would be safe, and live in hiding for the rest of his life? Like a coward?What would running away have solved? The Wens would still be killed, with the added knowledge that WWX abandoned them to their fate. Nothing would have changed for the better. WWX did everything he could to peacefully protect the Wens and himself, that's the point, peace was no longer an option. There was nothing else he could do.

So you think murdering people and dying was the better alternative? Wei Wuxian was lucky that somebody wanted to use him and brought him back. Or else he would have stayed dead. Wei Wuxian could have lived and found out more about the situation. Living is always better than giving up.

When he came back, he literally hid from the world until he could no longer deny who he was. It is not that Wei Wuxian is beyond such measures. I mean he is the person who had fun pretending to be crazy.

Wei Wuxian most likely did not think very deeply about his situation then and reacted before he knew it. And so he killed a great bunch of people.

I can assure you that he would have rather killed himself than hurting his sister, a person he deeply loved.

No, WWX did not destroy the seal because he felt he was wrong. He destroyed it because he realised that it was too dangerous a thing for those bloodthirsty sects to have, too much power for one person, and it was mostly likely to fall in their hands after his death, which would certainly be a disaster. As evidenced by how half of it ended up in XY's hands and the Jin clan was all too eager to pardon his numerous crimes so that he could fully restore it for them to use.

Wei Wuxian certainly felt he was wrong in the moment his sister died because of his reaction. You do not make sense...if it was right for him to use it, why was it too much power for one person?

Please show me the scene where Wei Wuxian proclaims he felt he did nothing wrong here. I am quite excited to read it.

True, Jiang Yanli dies but how is that his fault? He did not deliberately kill her, first it was her choice to run out to an open battlefield without any support, and then sacrifice her life for him. Her death was a tragic accident. Also I couldn't help noticing that she sees the thousands of these cultivators attacking a single man, and asks that man to stop defending himself. Smh.

It is astonishing that you proclaim that Wei Wuxian did nothing wrong, even here. Yes, she wanted to protect him, but if he had not started it, she would be still alive. That from the person to tells his nephew that "thank you" and " I am sorry" are very important. One of his journeys goals was to come to terms with his later deeds. Sure Wei Wuxian was treated unfairly by others, but he himself also is not without fault. He himself also killed people. Even in some cases where he did not intend to kill them, it doesn´t matter, because the person is still dead. Jing Ling has unfortunately nothing from an explanation like this.

So you really do think that killing people senselessly like Wei Wuxian did here, is justice?

He did not take revenge, as the real culprits were still alive and stayed unharmed.

It was also not a develish plan of him, but rather a reaction from a person that was already at a very dark place.

'He merely escalated the situation-' even if that's true he still played a major role in the kingdom's downfall. It was entirely his fault, not XL's. He even goes out of his way to hinder XL's efforts to provide relief for his people, multiple times in increasingly drastic ways.

You do not make sense here. If he merely escalated the situation, then the situation was already bad to begin with and might have also come to a certain point without his intervention. There were occurences, where Jun Wu did not need to intervene.

Xie Lian could do nothing against the drought as a martial god. The people of Yong´an would have come either way. They were refugees that needed help, but the king of Xianle did not know, how to solve this issue, though there would have been some measures.

There was still much corruption in this country that hindered actual help for the people of Yong´an.

The people of Xianle would have still considered the people of Yong´an beneath them.

Jian Lan would have been still kidnapped and raped by one man of Yong´an without Jun Wu. Jian Lan lead protests against the people of Yong´an for them to be exiled.

All Jun Wu did in the beginning was using three puppets for the last spark that turned the already bad situation in an open revolt against the royalty of Xianle.

Lan Ying , whose son died, would have also existed, that would later acquire the "aura of a king".

The other countries that helped the rebels would have been also around.

The rebels were problematic for Xie Lian, as he understood them, that is the reason he did not kill Lan Ying, when he should have done it. The "aura of a king" prevented even a god, to harm Lang Ying later. The uncertainty was already in Xie Lian back then, all Jun Wu had to do, was taking care that Xie Lian was driven mad.

So the human face disease came along and Jun Wu used people that already existed for this...when I remember Xie Lian discovered that Lang Ying intervened here as well. There was probably a curse put on the corpse of his son. Jun Wu tested Xie Lian if he rescued his own people and committed a great sin for this: the genocide of the people of Yong´an. He did not and Xianle fell.

Xie Lian´s self-confidence was damaged severly.

Even if Jun Wu had not intervened, the problems would have still persisted. Desperate people take desperate measures. It is funny, if the author literally let some people spill that out in another account, when the ill people suffering from human-face disease burned the faces of the disease from their body parts.

Another instance that desperate people take desperate measures and a revolt would have happnened eventually:

A revolt might have still happened and then Xie Lian would have been forced to beat down people that were actually just desperate. Xie Lian would have also not wished to extinguish them and then the rage hidden inside of the people of Yong´an would have still lasted as even now the gods are against their wellbeing. Another revolt would have been just occured after some time.

Xie Lian learnt during this time enormously, how much he did not know about people and his own country. The former Crownprince and now god had actually made assumptions that did not hold true at all, later. And that would have been still the case even without Jun Wu.

"It began with a natural disaster, but was deteriorated by human actions."

The family was merely a catalyst...not the only cause of the revolt.

The matters they had to think about was a lil bit more complicated than Xie Lian had previously thought.

What use was that help? It was that XL's intentions matter here, not his actions. Take a look at this passage

Good intentions are nice, but idealism alone doesn´t save anybody. People need bread, water or help as long as they live. As they are people of flesh and blood.

In fact as the state preceptor states here...good intentions can even be harmful.

Because it was a failure...Even if we count in Jun Wu´s intervention in the matters of Xianle, Xie Lian did not understand much about the worldly affairs and did help both sides, even though it was clear that they would have never shaken hands afterwards.

At least he should have exterminated Yong´an´s people if he wanted to save Xianle or let the natural decline of Xianle occur. Gods aren´t almighty beings and neither is Xie Lian.

I think one can even make the argument, that the state preceptor, even though he soon guessed that Jun Wu was "his prince", was correct here. Xie Lian caught Jun Wu´´s attention due to his actions and words...and it provoked the evil part of him to bring Xie Lian down. Surely it was unintentional by Xie Lian, but nevertheless the outcome is the same.

That is why the tale with the "second cup"...third option...is a fairy tale...a part of this fiction that demonstrates how utterly naive Xie Lian was in the past. Good intentions are not enough.

Xie Lian realized again and again...that gods cannot give " a second cup"...a third option...they are not almighty.

He realized it, when he cut the food of that man that once gave him an umbrella in order to save him...

Here it is even directly in the texte. Xie Lian has no other option, even though he is a god.

Xie Lian realized it when he could no longer kill Lang Ying...he had hesistated too long.

Yes, it's true that FX and MQ are highly incompatible but again it doesn't fall to Xie Lian to make them get along. He still tries though, because he's good at it. He's able to calm FX down before he jumps to accusing MQ of something and ask him to first listen to what MQ has to say when he will not speak up, as well as remind MQ that FX is not capable of scheming against him as he will just silently brood in his head about him conspiring against him. They would truly not be friends without XL.

I disagree, he is very well responsible as he chose them as his servants, so he was also responsible for make it work. You literally complained of them arguing, so you are aware that it did not work out.

In fact Feng Xin always declined everything Mu Qing suggested, sometimes really diminshed him. Even if Mu Qing meant well, like he often did in the past - in contrast his later god form. Xie Lian had no better concept than distracting them, but he had no longer the strength to do so after the fall of Xianle.

'Did not want to eat the food offered to him-' ah I see you're the type of person who takes the characters words at face value and ignores their actions and what the narrative is saying. What does this passage say? That Xie Lian had only been in a mortal body again after a long time and forgotten that he needed to eat to sustain it? And not that he was being picky about food, or going on a starving spree to throw a tantrum about poor food? But we see how MQ here assumes the worst of XL as he often does all throughout the novel, because of his own resentment towards XL? There are many such examples in the book.

I´d wish you would actually look at the texte and understand the meaning.

He is still picky about food, if even his mother told us so, but I at least give you this, that he might be not used to the experience.

Xie Lian finally understood being picky about food after months of having barely food, was not a good thing. That realisation came to him directly before he tried to rob people. That means he must have been picky before, or that passage here would be senseless.

No, Mu Qing just had most likely less patient with Xie Lian as they lived literally a miserable life and he was the one caring for everybody else, doing chores and work with the other two on top of it. He had more workload than anybody else and nobody considered to help him.

It is not that hard to imagine that Mu Qing is overworked having double the amount of work as the other two.

He is losing it, when they lose their money, after the other two joined in a fight due to people making fun of the statue of Xie Lian.

They turned everything of his suggestions down to make their precarious situation better, he had double the work than anybody else and it just got worse and worse. Honestly, they should have ignored these people and just forget Xie Lian´s pride that was still far too important. I understand that a Crownprince still needed to adapt, but it happened unfortunately far too late.

After the fight, Mu Qing must have felt so at the end of his wits, that he just saw one possibility: to leave...I am not sure, if he had really intended to go back, but I do understand, why he left. It is important here, that Mu Qing left directly after they lost money again and Xie Lian said nothing and Feng Xin didn´t want to face the truth.

I also do think his reasons to leave were reasonable: He had cared for his mother since he was a child and he could see no other way.

Even the way Mu Qing left is a great example of the servant-master relationship between Mu Qing and Xie Lian.

Xie Lian commands "enough"..Mu Qing bowed deeply and walked away.

Sadly, Xie Lian could not imagine, that maybe they could have made his life a lil easier by sharing Mu Qing´s responsibilities or maybe showing him that they all worked to get better...But by refusing to actually address their problematic situation, nothing would be solved.

The crux is that neither Mu Qing, nor Feng Xin were his friends. They were his servants. So Xie Lian is departing reality here and bad living conditions are even a reason for couples to break up. I mean Xie Lian is refering to fairy tales here.

Here is another instant that makes it painfully clear, that Xie Lian is only fooling himself about the truth of their relationship: Feng Xin and Mu Qing were his servants, not his friends. The former master and Crownprince wonders, what Feng Xin thought about his treatment.

Xie Lian was afraid the last of his remaining servants would leave him too.

Unfortunately Feng Xin was completely unaware of Xie Lian´s feelings and expressed what he thought.

Xie Lian is then "paying" Feng Xin in order for him to stay...It is an expression of their master-servant relationship, but also of Xie Lian´s fear to be left behind.

Don´t misunderstand me: Xie Lian is a kind person, but he certainly had too much pride after the fall of Xianle and did make mistakes, like everybody else. And he was also idealistic and kind..that´s a difficult thing to be, if you are poor.

Bit by bit, the realisation how dire their situation was, came slowly. After months they finally basked, like Mu Qing suggested. If they had done so months before, there would have been likely three people and not just two.

Really tired of constantly seeing posts declaring that everyone in MXTX novels is complicated and 'morally grey' and that's what makes her works wonderfully written, and that everyone else who doesn't see that is stupid, or is 'demonising' characters and bashing them for rightfully criticising their shitty, very much unjustified actions.

And ironically it seems so simplistic to just declare that, because yes her stories are wonderfully written and complex, but not for that reason. You're clearly not reading her works and only spouting what you think her stories say. There are many morally grey characters in morally complex stories out there, but MDZS IS NOT ONE OF THEM.

NONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS (i.e protagonists and their male leads except for LBH maybe) ARE MORALLY GREY OR MORALLY COMPLEX.

THEY ARE ALL MORALLY RIGHTEOUS.

Just take a closer look at their actions compared to the actions of literally everyone else around them, it's not that hard to see.

Not to mention that MXTX herself literally says that WWX and LWJ are both morally ideal and that ahe hopes her readers can be like them, but people seem to have no respect for the word of authors in the name of their self projection onto the characters being contradicted nowadays 😒

(also saw someone dismissively say that HC may think that the world revolves around XL or whatever, but others don't and they're right??

First of all, did you even read the novel? HC made his judgement based on how others treated him versus how XL did when he was a CHILD. And how XL continues to treat others to this day. He is well within his rights to think the world of XL, especially since XL suffered more than every other person and still doesn't succumb to evil, despite having every right to do so, miles more than others. He all but regards XL as his moral compass, because he's proof that truly good people do exist in this world, and not ONE other person in the novel is shown to be as good as him.)

One of the reasons why I really don't like the Xianle Trio is this; neither FX nor MQ seem to regard XL as his own person with his own agency, who is capable of making his own decisions initially as HC does, and only near the end of the novel do they let up a bit when their asses had to be saved by XL multiple times. (especially considering what fools they made of themselves in that spiderweb cave lmao)

Both of them try to enforce XL ALL THE TIME ("Your Highness don't do this or don't do that or don't say this or don't go there or don't talk to him"), as if XL has not survived perfectly well on his own without them FOR 800 YEARS.

The difference between them and HC is clearly spelled out when FC asks HC about why he is not stopping XL, and HC replies that while he may not agree with some of XL's decisions, he would never force him to do what he thinks is correct, something both MQ and FX are CONSTANTLY shown to try to do.

Like please. Xianle Trio who? More like suffering XL and his pair of nuisances who think themselves to be his babysitters. And most of the time he's the one babysitting them.

Another thing that irks me is that their frequent arguments are often played off for laughs, but XL is truly a saint, because if my friends were constantly bickering over petty things all throughout our dangerous journey and giving me nothing but headaches, especially in survival situations, I'd given them the boot a long time ago.

[hunxi-guilai]

whats up I was going thru your LQR tag bc i have a lot of thoughts about cql LQR (are these thoughts coherent? pending) and I'm thinking about the end of the scene in ep. 27 when he tells off LWJ and like. there are /tears/ in his eyes...even in a pretty sidelined and somewhat antagonistic character, the depictions of generational trauma in this show are something else. Anyway, do you know of anyone who's done a visual analysis of that scene? I'd love to read it or hear your thoughts. 1/2

okay, first of all, let me just say that "are these thoughts coherent? pending” is SUCH a mood. my brain, 90% of the time

second of all, I must also direct you to this excellent post by @dying-redshirt-noises and @hqfeels if we’re planning to have Lan Qiren feels on this blog right now

so I’ve been sneaking “JUSTICE FOR SHUFU” into my tags lately, which is a battle cry I’ve picked up from @pumpkinpaix, because I believe that Lan Qiren is a complex figure who really just wanted the best for his nephews. Unfortunately, he’s also an extremely convenient character for folks to latch onto and deploy as a token antagonistic figure in fics if the story needs a person in a position of authority, close at home, to oppose wangxian’s relationship. It helps that he’s also the sole Lan elder we’re introduced to, and the Lan elders often get dismissed as a faceless, vilified mass who really only exist to grumble conservatively and oppose our protagonists.

I get it. It’s convenient. And it’s got some amount of canonical support, what with Lan Qiren and Wei Wuxian butting heads in Gusu summer school, and Lan Qiren’s repeated exhortations to Lan Wangji to stay away from Wei Wuxian, etc, etc. But Lan Qiren, for me, has always numbered among the tragic and traumatized characters that we both love and forgive over the course of the narrative.

It’s hard for me to extricate Lan Qiren from the relationship that’s examined over and over again in this text: that of the relationship between siblings. The ways the elder siblings make countless sacrifices to protect the younger. The golden core transfer. Wen Qing and Wen Ning. Nie Mingjue’s... everything.

And one of the scariest things in CQL is how often that sacrifice falls short -- after everything they’ve sacrificed, after the prices they paid, the younger sibling is tasked with the impossibility of living on. The long version, in the translated words of Zbigniew Herbert:

The rest is not silence but belongs to me

you chose the easier part of an elegant thrust

but what is heroic death compared with eternal watching

with a cold apple in one’s hand on a narrow chair

with a view of the ant-hill and the clock’s dial

- “The Elegy of Fortinbras”

The short version, in the words of Lin-Manuel Miranda via George Washington:

“Dying is easy, young man -- living is harder.”

The younger siblings in CQL are almost always the ones who have to step up -- Jiang Cheng, in rebuilding and leading Yunmeng Jiang; Nie Huaisang, leading the Nie Sect and avenging his brother’s death; Lan Wangji, taking over the position of Chief Cultivator and a certain amount of Lan Sect Leader duties. Overwhelmingly, these moments happen offscreen, in timeskips, left to the imagination. They’re not glorious or dramatic; they’re tedious, mind-numbing, soul-crushing, especially when considered in context with the monsters of their separate griefs.

So, Lan Qiren. The narrative parallels drawn between the generations, from Lan Qiren’s to Lan Wangji’s to Lan Sizhui’s, could probably fill a research paper. If we regard Jiang Cheng with any sympathy, then we should absolutely extend that sympathy to Lan Qiren as well -- both of them are younger brothers who picked up the slack, who tried their best to honor the best part of the legacies of those who came before, who were saddled with the responsibility of parenting their nephews before they even married themselves, who had to set their own needs aside in order to lead others, who had both the courage and the endurance to live on despite everything. 

Again, we don’t know the details of what happened with Qingheng-jun and Mama Lan, but I think it’s safe to say that it happened fast. Qingheng-jun met Mama Lan, fell in love at first sight, married her secretly, locked them both away in seclusion, abdicated his position as sect leader, and after that storm, Lan Qiren was the one left to pick up the pieces. Suddenly, Lan Qiren had to assume the mantle of a sect leadership that his brother was groomed for; Lan Qiren had to take responsibility for the care and education of his nephews despite having no experience himself.

And you know what? Lan Qiren does a pretty kick-ass job. By the time we reach the maturation of the next generation, the Gusu Lan sect has a reputation so sterling that other sects send their heirs to study there. Lan Qiren is accorded more respect and authority on the basis of his reputation and accomplishment in inter-sect affairs. He raises the Twin Jades, trains them in swordsmanship, nurtures their cultivation and aptitude until they’re both held up as the ideal young masters.

Lan Qiren was saddled with responsibilities he did not expect and did not ask for, and executes them well.

But what of his own scars and self-doubt, his own grief and anxiety? What about all the nights he stayed up past curfew, eyes gritty with exhaustion, deciphering ledgers and untangling sect politics that his brother understood better? What about Lan Qiren’s resentment of Qingheng-jun, for discarding the responsibilities he held for his sect for the survival of a single person; what about Lan Qiren’s fears, that his nephews might follow their father down the same path, might dash themselves to pieces against the shoals of what it means for a Lan to fall in love?

You asked about this moment, in episode 27 -- after Wei Wuxian steals away the Wen refugees at Qiongqi Dao, Lan Qiren admonishes Lan Wangji for his actions: sneaking into the forbidden section of the Gusu Lan archives, letting Wei Wuxian and the refugees go. Lan Qiren is frustrated, yes, angry, even -- but more than anything, he’s profoundly afraid. The obsession Lan Wangji has with Wei Wuxian, to the exclusion of all else, of everyone else, reminds Lan Qiren of his brother. And so Lan Qiren tries to snap Lan Wangji out of it through discipline, the evocation of all the morals and ideals he was raised with as a child. Lan Qiren grounds Lan Wangji in Cloud Recesses in episode 24, hammers home the fifty-second principle of Gusu Lan -- do not befriend the traitorous and evil. The fifty-second principle is more than a simple rule deployed to get in the way of wangxian’s relationship; it’s a prescriptive that carries with it the tragedy of the Twin Jades’ parents, the suggestion that, had Qingheng-jun not befriended the traitorous and evil, so much pain, and heartbreak, and grief could have been avoided.

(when Lan Qiren reminds Lan Wangji of this, Lan Wangji protests -- his mother wasn’t -- and Lan Qiren cuts him off. Whether or not Mama Lan was truly, inherently evil is not the question here, nor is Wei Wuxian’s character being discussed. This isn’t about Mama Lan, or Wei Wuxian -- this is about Qingheng-jun, and Lan Wangji, and the fact that their personal preferences and prejudices do not occur in a vacuum. Their actions have consequences, and Lan Qiren knows this because he has borne his brothers’.)

Lan Qiren, of all people, knows that no matter how lofty and unsullied a person’s reputation might be, no matter how pure their moral character or righteous their conduct, all it takes is a single moment to fall in love, to make them shatter, to reduce them to a shadow of their former selves, to reject all of the responsibilities they held before and leave their loved ones reeling in the wake of such a sudden and complete devastation.

So Lan Qiren rises, moves towards Lan Wangji’s kneeling form, and there’s a moment -- blink and you’ll miss it -- where he hesitates, trying to decide if he should walk towards Lan Wangji, to raise him to his feet, or lay a hand on his shoulder. Lan Qiren hesitates, then decides not to -- he chooses instead to appeal to his nephew through carefully-reasoned words rather than physical demonstration of love, to remind Lan Wangji of his discipline and education.

Lan Qiren paces the room, reminding Lan Wangji of his family, his life with the Lan Sect, everything he stands to lose if he throws it all to the wind for Wei Wuxian. Lan Qiren confesses -- all his harshness and strictness came out of his fear that Lan Wangji would follow in his father’s footsteps.

We get this moment in the middle of those lines, when the camera snaps from here:

to here:

a jarring cut, primarily because it violates the 180-degree rule. It places Lan Qiren on the right side of the screen, where before he had been on the left.

For me, this does two things, visually -- by placing both Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji on the same side of the screen, it calls back to the fact that Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji are both the younger siblings, emphasizing the potential parallels between their lives that hinge on the decisions Lan Wangji will make. The second shot also removes Lan Wangji from the frame, unbalancing the composition. Now, there’s an absence of a figure to Lan Qiren’s left, gesturing at the absence of Qingheng-jun throughout this entire story, throughout the Twin Jades’ lives. That absence is why Lan Qiren is the way he is -- strict, unforgiving, disciplined, afraid.  Lan Qiren has spent so much of his life adhering to the rules of Gusu Lan and denying any selfish wants because he saw what happened to his brother the moment he deviated from the rules, and he’s terrified the same will happen to Lan Wangji.

So... yeah. We most often see Lan Qiren in opposition to our favorite characters -- he’s the boring old fuddy-duddy who throws a scroll at Wei Wuxian, who continually discourages Lan Wangji from reaching out to Wei Wuxian, who is often taken as a stand-in for conservatism and tradition in the show. At the same time, he is the man who raised his nephews with both love and a profound terror that they would suffer the same way he and his brother did; he is the man who sent Lan Xichen away when the Wen Sect attacked, and did not expect to survive the burning of Cloud Recesses. He is lauded, for his authority and his knowledge; he is delightfully petty, throwing jabs at Wei Wuxian at the Burial Mounds (why don’t you ask him?). In short, Lan Qiren is a person, with all of his flaws and virtues, trauma and weaknesses, and we don’t give him enough credit for everything he did.

[admirableadmiranda]

Sometimes it feels like the main message that a lot of people miss in MDZS in their leaps to justify one character’s hatred for another or attempting to remove them from the world because they will never be at peace until that person is completely eradicated, is that it poses a question of “how much blood does it take to satisfy the anger? How much death is necessary to live? How much pain that you want to inflict is truly equal to what you have suffered? Where is the line between justice, vengeance and murder?”

MDZS does not have our modern sensibilities and laws for such a thing, and it’s on purpose. It’s set in a time where there is no emperor or god onscreen to merit out justice or retribution, it’s all in the hands of the mortals. They get to decide how much is enough.

And the thing that so many people miss is that for almost every character (and I will include Wei Wuxian in this with a caveat) go too far at some point. Sure, the desire to kill your brother’s killer is understandable. But what about the people who you harm in that path? Nie Huaisang does end up taking down Jin Guangyao, but the cost is that Qin Su also dies, destroyed even before her death by the reality of what the men around her will stoop to do out of pride and anger, what they will use her for in the process.

Why do I stand so firmly against the people who say that Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng had their reasons, that they were right to go as far as they did? Because the text itself does take the time to show us what is reasonable in that world and what is greedy, wrathful, unjustified.

Jiang Cheng has every right to hate the men who invaded his home and killed his family. In the natures of their society it is not wrong for him to step him and take revenge against them. The supervisory camps in Yunmeng were built on the blood of his people. I have no qualm with him removing them from his land, even though it ends in their deaths.

But that does not mean that his righteous war should extend to all who bear the Wen name and that is where the gap comes in. Wen Chao had him tortured and his golden core crushed. By the rules of that world as extolled by Xiao Xingchen when talking to Xue Yang, it is reasonable to take back what was done to him in blood there.

But Wen Ning is not Wen Chao. Wen Ning risked his life, his sister’s life and ultimately ended up contributing to Wen Ruohan’s campaign toppling and ending in dust because when he was offered the choice to either stick by his family or stick by his morals, he chose the former. The Wen’s attack on Lotus Pier was wrong. The lives they took were unjustified. Their actions were deplorable.

By standing up and protecting Jiang Cheng in the way he does, smuggling him back out of Lotus Pier and hiding him away from the Wen who would kill him, he is declaring that his own family is in the wrong, and instead makes a sacrifice that could have had him and his sister killed should Wen Ruohan ever find out about it.

Jiang Cheng knows this. This is where the right of hatred falls flat. This is where his righteous anger becomes a hunger for blood that will never be satiated.

Now I’m not saying that Jiang Cheng should hug and kiss Wen Ning for everything. There are limits to what humans can endure, even ones as good as Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. But he refuses to ever acknowledge what he knows. He refuses to ever act in kind. He owes a debt and he knows it. And he instead not only refuses to pay it by not necessarily taking them into his lands, but even acknowledging that they did anything. He buries them with their family and his words. He lets his hatred overwhelm all else.

He was not powerless at the end of the war. Far from it, in fact! He had a sect that was still rebuilding its forces, but it had been three years since the start of the war so it can’t be tiny anymore, and he had Wei Wuxian with the Yin Hufu. The only two necromancers in the world, who are powerful enough to hold whole barriers on their own. This is the whole point of the display at Phoenix Mountain. Wei Wuxian is showing the other three great clans and all the smaller clans that it does not matter how many of them they have, Yunmeng Jiang has him and while they have him, they are untouchable. This is a known fact.

Jiang Cheng would have faced no long term retribution from doing anything. He could have simply let Wei Wuxian pull them out of the Jin indoctrination camp and take them through Yunmeng to somewhere else and after some grumbling and some pleading on Jin Guangshan’s part, nothing would have happened. Wei Wuxian is too strong and the other clans are too aware of that. No one was safer than Yunmeng Jiang at the end of the war.

That is why the Jin play off of his jealousy and anger and get him to throw aside Wei Wuxian. It is literally their only option.

This brings me to the other half of my discussion, which is where does the bloodshed end? What is enough spilled blood?

If Jiang Cheng hates Wei Wuxian enough to try to kill him, then this should be a vengeance that ends with Wei Wuxian’s death. Death ends all obligations. We owe no more money, we settle no more debts, we leave the shackles of the living in life and the dead move on as do the living.

So why then is it acceptable that Jiang Cheng spends the next thirteen years killing people that remind him of Wei Wuxian? That the moment that Wei Wuxian does return, his first action is to try and kill him again? That he tortures him multiple times and it is only Lan Wangji’s presence and Jin Ling’s quick thinking that save him on those occasions? By all rights including our modern ones, Wei Wuxian should be free and Jiang Cheng should have moved on in thirteen years. Thirteen years is long enough to raise a child almost to adulthood, but Jiang Cheng clings to a hatred that has had no outlet for that long and continues to try and demand Justice that he has already received.

Where is the line? When is enough? Why does the blood of innocents have to be paid too for the hunger of the mighty? Wen Ruohan subtly assassinated Nie Mingjue’s father, but Nie Mingjue decided that there was only to be death for anyone related to the Wen. They didn’t have to do anything, even if they tried to stop him it wouldn’t be enough. Only the death of every Wen would slake that hunger, and then in death when he is driven only by that hunger, only the death of every Jin. Including the ones who weren’t even old enough to hold a sword at the time he died. Jin Ling is as good as Jin Guangyao for Nie Mingjue to kill. All that matters is that he’s connected. All that matters is that there is another body to feed the never ending hate that fills him.

Xiao Xingchen says that for Xue Yang to take a finger or an arm from the man who harmed him as a child is reasonable. Even to kill him if that is truly the only way to end his hatred. But what is a finger to an entire family? “Because it is mine!” Declares Xue Yang and this is where the crux of it lies. “It is my hatred, it is my anger. It is my right to kill anyone because I am angry and I refuse to let it go.” This is the trait that Jiang Cheng, Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang all share. “I am angry and I am hurt so it is my right to do as I will and no one should take that away from me or I will hurt them too.”

This is why they are antagonists. This is why two of the three of them end up dead. This is why Jiang Cheng staying his hand in the temple and Wei Wuxian’s mercy towards him is the only reason that he survives the end. You can’t ask the world to feed your endless hatred. Eventually you will hurt the wrong person and by the very laws that you and the world have set, will come for you. There is no such thing as bloodshed without pain. There are people who will miss those who are gone. And not all of them will be as good as Lan Wangji. Not all of them will move forward in their lives and ignore you. Sometimes the oriole will stalk you in the shadows, waiting for the moment the praying mantis slips up. The wheel ever turns and those on the bottom eventually rise up.

Now as for Wei Wuxian, we see a different answer on him from the others and this is where his morals really come into play. Cause at first he does exact justice for those lost at Lotus Pier. Steps in which the narrative does not fully condemn him, but suggests lightly that it is the sort of thing that he does not linger in, as well as he himself looks back and decides that maybe he did go too far then. Maybe he did do too much in the name of anger and justice. Three months after the event he is willing to kill and torture Wen Zhuliu and Wen Chao. But three years later he looks at the members of the family that killed his and goes “I do not love you. But this is not right. You do not deserve this. I will not let you suffer this any longer even though your name is Wen.”

For Wei Wuxian, the line ends at the end of war, at the deaths of those who directly caused him the most pain. He does not necessarily forgive or absolve. But he does recognize that there is no sense in continuing the bloodshed or allowing others to continue it out of some misplaced sense of vengeance. He is offered a chance to stop the wheel and he tries. He tries so goddamn hard. He tries until it kills him and everyone else he protects because the anger of the rest is too wrapped up in their self righteousness to examine what is reasonable and what is the cost for what they do.

I do not exonerate the Lan here, but I do point out that they at least actually make an attempt to change things afterwards. We see it in the way that Lan Wangji continues to act in the world. We see it in the way that Lan Xichen stops and reconsiders what he knows of Wei Wuxian, and helps him when the wheel attempts to spin back to where it was before. Where the juniors go out hunting on their own to help people of all kinds. They find weird mysteries and they follow them, they are kind to all. It does not absolve what they have done in the past, it does not make them blameless.

But it is a start. And one that Jiang Cheng has not taken. If he had, we wouldn’t be having these debates and arguments about what is a reasonable enough amount of death and destruction that he can cause on account of his past.

This is where the line is.

Modaozushi asks the question of how much death is enough and concludes at the line “when you continue to court death to satisfy your anger, you will eventually find death standing at your door too.” It happens to Xue Yang, who after killing Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing and everyone in Yi City, finds A-Qing’s ghost leading those who can end his hurting of others for good. It happens to Jin Guangyao who assassinates and hurts so many people that Nie Huaisang finds allies in Mo Xuanyu, Sisi and Bicao, all of whom are willing to help him drag Jin Guangyao to the depths by the chains of his reputation.

Jiang Cheng is offered another chance. Leave Wei Wuxian alone and move forwards with his life. At the end of the book he accepts that chance. It is probably the last one he will get, but he accepts it. This is why he finishes out the book alive no matter how much blood he has on his hands. You can always change your actions until you are dead.

This is the question that Modaozushi posits and answers to all of us and to which I now offer to you when you consider the actions in story. What is enough? How much blood must be spilled before you are happy?

Why does it matter to you that those who are hurt are allowed to hurt without consequence? Where do you draw the line when all of those who caused you pain in the past are buried?

What is the price that you demand for your happiness? When is there enough blood on your hands to be happy?

When do you say “there has been enough death. I will stop this here and now because it is enough.”

Will you be the hero or the antagonist in someone else’s story?

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. This is a bit out of the way but I was wondering if you guys could help me find a certain twitter thread about, like, a huge family dinner with the mdzs characters where "who is going to pay the bill" devolves into hijinks and a lot of politeness judo. and ends with nie huaisang going "i paid the bill while i was in the toilet"

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2. Hey there 👋🏻 some time ago I read an unfinished wangxian pirate fic I can’t seem to find anymore. I remember that there was a protective veil between the sea and the land that was simultaneously a veil between life and death somehow (I think it hasn’t been explained properly yet in the fic) and LWJ is stationed at the could recess lighthouse to keep the light burning and WWX washes ashore half dead. LWJ saves him even though he realises he should probably kill him or turn him in. LWJ thinks he is running from the YLLZ but he is running from Wen Chao. Does one of you know that fic?

FOUND! ghosts of all things that are by larkspur_9, Song_of_Storms (T, 29k, WIP, WangXian, Pirate AU, Fantasy, Lighthouse keeper LWJ, Steampunk, Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Porn)

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3. Do u know of a fic where baoshan sanren saves wei ying from dying and transfers her core to him thus making him her heir?

FOUND!  Ghosts Shouldn't by ShanaStoryteller (Not rated, 15k, wangxian, canon divergence, grief/mourning, angst w/ happy ending)

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4. Hi! could you guys help me find a fic? I never actually read it lol But the summary was something like why does Lan Wangji like it when Wei Wuxian cries during sex? When I first saw it I was like no. But I didn't forget the summary and now I'm so curious! But I can't find it. Thank you.

FOUND? oh, these are real things by typefortydeductions (E, 15k, wangxian, modern, kink negotiation, under-negotiated kink, safewording, light BDSM, dom/sub, fisting, sex tears, panic attacks, top drop)

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5. Heyyy uhm... The fic was in a modern setting where WY just got out of prison or smth like that (because of Lan elders) and then LZ is starting to plan things to get out of his uncle's clutches. A scene I remember was them fighting because LZ did not fight for WY when he was accused or something. It's also like they're a businessmen. Thanks!!! And they have teenager a-yuan here.

FOUND? Life as a House by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 55k, WangXian, Modern AU, Corporate Espionage, Post-Divorce, Father-Son Relationship, Reconciliation, Therapy, Angst with a happy ending)

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6. Hi hope all is well, I do enjoy your blog it's awesome... I hoping that you can help me please I read a fanfic a couple weeks ago however, I forgot to bookmark it. It's a fanfic written after Wei Ying let's go of Lan Zhan's hand falls and supposedly dies, Lan Zhan is punished and grounded. Wei Ying in this story apparently stays with Lan Zhan at cloud recesses but as a ghost or spirit of sorts and sees the punishment and pain and hurt Lan Zhan goes through. Have you any idea what fanfic is this. I'd be grateful for your help thanks much. This is all I have to go on I'm not sure of the other details in the story as I've read so much in between then and now sorry I can't give anymore info to help you.. have a great day and thanks again for your help tc

FOUND? Ghosts Shouldn’t by ShanaStoryteller (Not rated, 15k, wangxian, canon divergence, grief/mourning, angst w/ happy ending)

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7. HI HELLO I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR SO LONG FOR THIS ONE MDZS FIC

ok real quick before i continue, there's a trigger warning for attempted suicide so if ur not cool with that then np :)

but yeah wwx gets transfered back to the time where he was studying in cloud recess, and he comes to it when lqr is calling him. he goes "I cant do this again" books it and throws himself off a cliff. HE SURVIVES!!! the lan sect are devealoping a "mind healing" technique (basically therapy) and he does that. the jiang sect gets letters to go to cloud recess and wwx resigns from the Jiang sect bc he believes that everything Madam Yu said was true.

I think there was jiang yanli's interlude where she got the letter and overheard Madam Yu say smth along the lines of "so what that brat had the urge to fling himself off a cliff for attention" and jian fengmian agreed with her :/ Jiang siblings are very conserned ab wwx. oh and jin zixuan is there and escorts yanli around for a walk and its rlly sweet

in the mean time, wwx decideds k!lling himself isn't the answer and that he should at least stick around to make sure nothing that happened in the original time line happens again. i think it had like 20 chapters and was incomplete, and the summary says smth like "wwx wakes up in his teenage body and decidedly does not take it well" but I cant remember :(( thank you sm i rrly want to find this fic pls tag me if u do :) @vanitasthepainting

FOUND! Without end by barisan (M, 65k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time travel, Hurt/comfort, Angst, Suicide attempt, YZY & JFM Bashing, PTSD, BAMF WWX)

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8. Hey so I've been looking for a couple fics for a while, i dont know if they were deleted or if i just cant find them because its been So long.

A) the first fic is where Wei Ying leaves the Jiang sect (dont know if its by his own violation or Madam Yus) and he meets meng yao his mother and sisi, but soon after madam yu sends yinzu and jinzu to kill him and they all leave and soon meet xue yang and the dafan wens.

B) the other fic is where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan have a one night stand of sorts and Wei Yong ends up having a little girl and the jiang siblings are really supportive and protective and they keep the little girl a secrer in fear that the Lan sect will take her away and a few years later she is found out and their is a discussion confernce in qinghe and Lan Zhan gets all jealous because the little girl is climbing all over nie Mingjue.

if you could find those for me it would be very thankfull 😂🥰 @fanfic-discussions

8A)

FOUND? Sounds a lot like The Debts of a Child series by Hauntcats (M, 57k, jiangs & WWX, wangxian, canon divergence, not jiang friendly, angst w/ happy ending, WIP) specifically the second one in the series

8B)

FOUND?🧡 Don't Wanna Fall by nekojita (M, 111k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, A/B/O, Sort Of, with a twist?, Mpreg, Child thief WN, Fix-It)

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9. Hi! Thank you for all the wonderful work you are doing, this blog has brought me a lot of joy. I am looking for a fic where JC and WY fell out after trying to save JYL  from drowning when she was caught in a net underwater. And WY had to keep diving down to give her air, and he was really exhausted and delirious afterwards. JC got really angry at him. And the fic is about how JC had to do something similar and realised how difficult it was and tried to reconcile with WY. Hopefully that’s enough info, I can’t remember much else! Thanks very much :)

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10. Hello modss!! I hope ur doing well. I'd really like some help in finding this fic. It was after the siege and Wwx was alive he was taken by someone (?) xiao xingchen? I dont remember but it was to heal him. And there was a plot to take down the jins. During the time he was away i think he kept talking to ayuan like a ghost. and at the end when everything settled wwx returns to gusu and ayuan says baba/mama(?) is home. Thank you in advance 🥺.

FOUND? Ghosts Shouldn’t by ShanaStoryteller (Not rated, 15k, wangxian, canon divergence, grief/mourning, angst w/ happy ending)

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11. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where lwj is a ghost and wwx can see him and they investigate his death and lwj is revived in the end or something. Thank you!!!

FOUND? lovers be lost (but love shall not) by la_muerta (T, 13k, wangxian, 1910s au, arranged marriage, ghost marriage, case fic, happy ending)

FOUND? Red Is Just Black Remembering by Zizzani (E, 41k, wangxian, angst w/ happy ending, ghosts, modern)

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12. Hello! I looked through the ficfinder backlog & didn't see this one, and would love some help. Found or not, thank you!! It's a post-canon fic where NHS finds WWX wandering around without any support and brings him back to the Unclean Realm, but it's not nirejseki's Gone Shopping. It's longer and has NHS and WWX starting a school, and the Nie sect demanding WWX get paid/respect for his talismans, and WWX pines for LWJ and the Nie sect/NHS scheme to get them together. @ladymordecai

FOUND? Story-Shaped by lingering_song (T, 13k, wangxian, NHS & WWX, post-canon, chief cultivator LWJ, inventor WWX, found family, alcohol, protective NHS, not JC friendly)

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13. Hi! I'm looking for a smut fic I read some months ago. (If smut requests aren't OK, please ignore this message!) What I remember is that it was a modern AU where WWX was LWJ's pet (like, for sex, not a literal animal). I have an impression that it might've been some type of omegaverse (WWX definitely wasn't fully human), but I can't find it anywhere in those tags, so maybe it was something else? Thanks for your help!

FOUND! Forever Home by fishhflake (E, 3k, WangXian, Modern AU, PWP, Master/Pet, Rabbit Hybrid WWX, Breasts, Boypussy, Shameless Smut)

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14. Hi I'm looking for a fic I read when I 1st entered this fandom. It was XiYao and Wangxian. WQ and the Lans helped WWX rebuild his golden core. The one clear scene I remember was LXC and JGY together on Phoenix Mountain watching WWX manipulate Subian from a distance. They were impressed with how much WWX improved in a few short months. Thank you!! @themlb37

FOUND! Becoming the Phoenix by Branch (E, 60k, XiYao, XuanLi, WangXian, Drama, Romance, Politics, Fluff, Angst, Porn, Action, Canon Divergence, Canon - Chinese Drama)

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15. Hello! I've been trying to find this fanfiction but i don't really remember the name but there's this one scene i remember where lwj is taking peanuts from a bag from someone (which i think is wwx?) just to not speak with a lan elder (I also remember that in the summary it says that the lan elders hate/despite lwj for using the rules for an advantage or something like that) I hope this is the correct format for asking, Have a great day!

FOUND Following the Rules by BegrudginglyTumbling (SarcasticSmiler) (T, 2k, wangxian, gusu lan rules, fluff & humor, LWJ being a little shit)

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16. Hello mods! I hope you're doing well! I was wondering if you guys could help me find a fanfiction that I've been searching for but can't find. I remember that it's about wwx who died and came back either as a ghost or a fierce corpse during the sungshot campaign, I'm not sure if he died when he was thrown into the burial mounds, but I remember that he helped them win the war and then passed on peacefully after, I remember that they knew he was a ghost too.

Hello! It's #16 from the Last fic Finder, unfortunately it is not that one:( if I remember correctly, wwx passed on as soon as the battle was over, on the battlefield.

NOT FOUND! Liberation by bonyenne (T, 9k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Body Horror, Fierce Corpse WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mojo’s Post)

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17. Hi there! I was wondering if anyone knows about this fic in which instead of mo xuanyu, Lan wangji was the one who sacrificed his body for wwx, idk if there is a happy ending or not.

FOUND! for you, all for you「 给你, 都给你 」 by headBONDmeLWJ (T, 3k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, major character death, canon divergence, angst, hurt/comfort)

NOT FOUND! While my guqin gently weeps by nival_kenival (T, 1k, LXC & LWJ, wangxian, major character death, angst, unhappy ending, WWX revival, hurt no comfort)

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18. Hi I’m looking for a fic where wangxian are married and it’s a modern au! They’ve been married 10+ years and lwj suggests experimenting with a younger colleague of his (mxy I believe) and wy doesn’t like this but doesn’t make his feeling totally clear. I believe they have a 3some and wy and lwj go through a rough patch but it has a happy ending! I appreciate any help, I really can’t find this anywhere!!

FOUND! give something new a try by ilip13 (M, 12k, wangxian, LWJ/WWX/MXY, modern, established relationship, angst w/ happy ending, married life, insecurity, jelaousy, making up, metioned threesome, pov alternating)

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19. Thank you for all your hard work! You guys are awesome. My problem is that I’m horrible at tags. Using them, reading them like I’m supposed to, paying attention for instances such as these…

I’m looking for a modern wangxian covid quarantine fic. I know wangxian are attending university in America. WWX must take courses continuously in order to keep his scholarship/stipend, maybe even his visa status. I think he’s majoring in medicine. In order to maintain his status and meet the requirements, he enrolls in LQR’s livestream ancient poetry class (thinking it would be relatively easy). He spots the beautiful but cold and aloof LWJ in his zoom class window and immediately develops a crush on him. LWJ is instantly annoyed with the student that leaves the voice-altering bunny filter on during every serious class discussion - even if he does make intelligent observations and salient points. WWX spends too much time talking about his crush on LWJ to his quarantine-trapped flatmates, JC and NHS. I think LQR picks WWX to be LWJ’s poetry project partner and they spend a lot of time alone together in a separate classroom screen where LWJ plays the guqin for WWX to draw/paint him playing for their assignment. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

FOUND? I Would like to Be There Beside You by istartedtheapocalypse (T, 15k, WangXian, Modern AU, College AU, Long-Distance Relationship, Mutual Pining, Some Angst)

~*~

20. Hello, do you know of a time travel fic in which Wei Ying realizes that Jiang Yanli is not as good as he thought and finds out that when she makes the soup in the camp during the sunshot campaign she uses the little rations that they have. I more or less remember that the Jin have a trial and Jiang Yanli and Peacock live a common life without riches. Please help me find it is a very nice fic

FOUND? In Which Soup is NOT the Solution by such_stuff_as_dreams_are_made_on (Not Rated, 5k, WIP, WangXian, WWX & JZX, Canon Divergence, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Enemies to Friends, Somebody Lives/Not everyone dies)

~*~

[mythvoiced]

Something, somewhere inside of him is always, always bubbling. It boils and coils as if both only blood and something alive completely out of Jiang Cheng's control. Making his heart beat in a rhythm almost painful inside his ribcage, all of his bones permanently bruised, all of his nerves stuck between them, a walking rain cloud just waiting for the first opportunity to turn the sight of him into the sound of crackling lightning.

It only gets worse when he sees the great Hanguang-Jun.

He'd thought there would be no sight more infuriating to him then Wei Wuxian's face after his effect on his family had finally begun to stack into a tower that had tumbled onto Jiang Cheng's heart and made him 'realize' for the first time in his entire life that maybe, maybe his mother had been right.

And all it took was... well, everything.

He looks down at his hands sometimes and imagines them covered in ash and blood, charred as his home had been. Wonders if he can actually smell it or imagines it, wonders why Yunmeng's waters look so clean to anybody but him, wonders why people can't understand how little he manages to smile even if it's directly right at Jin Ling and his empty hands, one for each parent he doesn't have.

And yet, and yet... nothing, nothing quite beats these moments.

The cultivation world is vast.

Jiang Cheng knows this because he's stuck on much a similar path to the one he's figured the second jade of Lan is very likely on: the two men closest to Wei Wuxian, digging below every root and emptying every river and waking every ghost to see if that red ribbon might burst out of thin air one day after all.

After thirteen years... you'd think either of them would manage to give up.

But they always end up here.

Jiang Cheng can't even claim he's been avoiding him. It's an easy outlet, yelling at the one man who can't let go, either.

Jiang Cheng's fists clench at his sides.

He never did manage to understand how someone like Wei Wuxian could be so... whatever with someone as distant and frozen as his Lan Zhan - why they always put it all on the line. Nor did he manage to understand why the second young master of Lan ever found it in him to care about someone that stepped all over everyone as Wei Wuxian was born a natural to do.

But he does. Or he'd be facing him right now.

"Aren't you tired of associating yourself with that man," he calls after him, because it is ridiculous to assume that's not what the Lan jade is doing - or because he can't let him walk away, humiliated and alone as he feels - always and somehow, for as bright as GusuLan is in outward appearance, Hanguang-Jun was always chasing a shadow.

Much like Jiang Cheng himself.

It'd be better for both of them, maybe, if Wei Wuxian were to actually return.

Death was too easy a way out - he claims, but his anger always mixes with grief, it hurts, features contort more when those two come together, skin drags, muscles twitch and you forget how to smile.

He lifts his chin.

"You barely made it out alive," did Jiang Cheng? Or is his continued resentment as much a death sentence as loving Wei Wuxian must be.

-ˋˏ🌥 ┈┈ @mythvoiced Jiang Wanyin inquired ; ��  do you have anything to say?  ❜

   THERE ARE MANY THINGS that could be said to this man. That could be shouted, yelled, thrown angrily at him with everything that rushed through him when he saw him. There is always a cacophony of emotions inside of him whenever he sees Jiang Wanyin and his angry and hateful gaze. None of them were ever good either, however instead of voicing those he needed to constantly remind him that this man was and will remain important to Wei Wuxian. Even in death. 

   Understandably, Lan Wangji is aware that Jiang Wanyin has suffered. He has lost, in such a short amount of time, things that no person should lose all at once in their entire lifetime. He is the only remaining member of his family aside from a young child, and he had to rebuild his Sect from the ground. The charred remains of what he considered his home. Within that, the strength to do so, is very clear to see. No one, not even Lan Wangji, would ever take that from him. The praise and understanding he deserves for what he managed to overcome. 

   However, he still allows his grief to turn to anger and that anger to consume him.

   Jiang Wanyin has suffered. Consumed by his own suffering he fails to realize the pain in others. It was because of him that Lan Wangji lost the person in this world who meant everything to him. A man who was suffering just as Jiang Wanyin is, who believed he was doing the right thing and wanted to give innocent people a chance to live. Out of the bones of all those people, all Lan Wangji managed to save was one child. One innocent child. That was what the Burial Mounds were, children and the elderly. Which Jiang Wanyin knew. 

   Is he better than him? No. Lan Wangji had not done anything else to help Wei Wuxian either. However, he also wasn’t the one they say struck him down. 

   And that is what he holds against him. 

   As many words as he wants to say to this man, even fewer will actually leave his mouth. His gaze remains fixed on Jiang Wanyin’s face, the way watches him like a snake waiting to strike. Their meetings are always like this, Jiang Wanyin bubbling in his anger just at the precipice of exploding and Lan Wangji staring him down, his eyes full of confliction and anger. In the thirteen years since Wei Wuxian’s death, he has never once stepped foot in Lotus Pier and he never has any intention of going there. Stubborn in his anger toward this man. 

   Breathing calmly he blinked once more at Jiang Wanyin before turning around and starting to make his way away from him in the opposite direction. 

[grewlikefancyflowers]

hello! I've always wondered about the fact that JC distracted the soldiers first? How does change interpretation of canon, and would it have mattered if wwx was told that jc distracted them first?

Hello anon!

The reveal that JC distracted the wens shouldn't really change how the reader views JC's character imo, because all it tells us is that he's capable of good things as well as very awful things. The reader should already know this because we see him being decent at other points in MDZS too (briefly in Xuanwu Cave, when the Wens come to Lotus Pier, and even in Guanyin Temple).

This isn't a 'psych!! jc is a good person!!!' moment, the importance it has to JC's character is that he chooses to keep it to himself rather than using it to try to earn forgiveness from WWX.

'After a moment of silence, Jiang Cheng shook his head, “There’s nothing to say.” [...] just like how the past Wei WuXian couldn’t tell him the truth of giving him his golden core, the current Jiang Cheng wasn’t able to say anything either.' (110)

This is WWX's reason for not telling JC about the GC (aside from the initial reason that it'd hurt JC's pride)

'Later, because Jin ZiXuan and Jiang YanLi had died because of him, Wei WuXian had become too ashamed to ever bring it up again. If he were to tell Jiang Cheng the truth after that, it would only sound like an excuse, a way for him to alleviate himself of the responsibilities by bringing up an act of kindness in the worst time, as if saying, ‘Look, you can’t hate me, I’ve also made sacrifices for the Jiang Sect.’ (102)

Obligation and debt form the very foundation of WWX & JC's relationship, at every every opportunity JC held these things against WWX. The 'promise', that WWX was raised in the Jiang Sect, the deaths of his family & JZX—even after the GC reveal JC holds these things against WWX.

'At this point, it was impossible to figure out who should apologize to whom.' (103)

It all becomes such an entangled mess that their relationship is made unsalvageable by it.

In contrast to wangxian, who's relationship can only be called unconditional—between them there are no expectations, obligations, debts, gratitude or envies. There's no need for thank you & I'm sorry. It is in both LWJ's and WWX's character to give freely to others without expectation for anything in return, to never begrudge what was given or resent what wasn't received. The 'message' of MDZS is that debts and gratitude have no place in a mutually-loving relationship, of any sort.

For JC's character development, in keeping this small thing to himself, when he could have held it against WWX as he does everything else, JC finally made some small progress towards self-improvement. It's the only positive character development he has in the whole novel.

As for whether or not WWX knowing about this would change anything either in the existing story, or post-canon? No.

In his first life, what could this mean to WWX? That JC cares about him? WWX already thinks that. He didn't base his decision-making on whether or not his relationship with JC was good or bad regardless. And if he considered this a 'debt' that tied him to JC?

'Wei WuXian’s expression darkened at once. His voice was harsh as well, “What a joke! Why is it that the debt you owe has to be repaid at the expense of others!”' (62)

He wouldn't let the Wens suffer at the expense of his own debts or obligations anyway, JC would still give him the ultimatum between staying in the Jiang Sect & abandoning the Wens, or leaving. WWX would still defect, the story would remain the same.

As for if JC revealed this post-canon, he himself recognises that this could only come across as an attempt to guilt-trip WWX into forgiving him. It certainly would not endear WWX to him, probably quite the opposite.

In the end, after everything JC has done, WWX doesn't want him in his life anymore, one good deed won't change that.

[vrishchikawrites]

What's your take on the Nightless City battle and JYL's death. Is WWX not responsible?

Actions aren't taken and decisions aren't made in vacuum. If you push a person to the breaking point and they snap back, their responsibility diminishes, regardless of the scale of damage that happens as a result.

Let's consider, step by step, what happens.

1. WWX is ambushed by 300 people. He is pushed and pushed, his life is threatened even though he isn't at fault. At this point, he has spent nearly two years in relative peace. At no point has he ever lost control.

JZXun went there with the express intention to kill WWX.

Jin Ling’s full-month celebration just so happened to be near, to which Jin ZiXuan actually invited Wei WuXian. Jin GuangShan wasn’t too fond of this idea to begin with, and so he suggested that Jin ZiXun use this as an opportunity, killing Wei WuXian on his way to the banquet. This way, he wouldn’t have to come to Koi Tower either.

Wei WuXian was Jiang Yanli’s shidi, and the couple was quite affectionate toward each other. Jin ZiXuan told his wife everything, no matter what a trivial matter it was. A few people were worried that he might give the plan away, causing Wei WuXian not to come, and so they had beenkeeping Jin ZiXuan in the dark. This was indeed a bit unfair.

2. He loses control when JXZuan asks him to quietly surrender and sides with his cousin. He rushes at WWX.

Jin ZiXuan and Jin ZiXun were cousins who had known each other well ever since they were young. With almost twenty years between them, at this point, it was indeed difficult for him to defend an outsider. And, in truth, he didn’t like Wei WuXian as a person either.

Collecting himself, he spoke, “Tell Wen Ning to stop first. Don’t let him continue his rampage and make the situation worse than it already is."

Wei WuXian’s voice was coarse, “… Why don’t you make them stop first?”

Relentless shouts and roars came from all around them. Jin ZiXuan raged, “Why are you still so stubborn at such a time? When everyone calms down, you can follow me back to Koi Tower to explain things and answer some questions. With everything clear, if you aren’t the one who did it, of course you’ll be fine!”

Wei WuXian, “Tell him to stop? As soon as I tell Wen Ning to stop right now, the arrows would fly straight at my heart and I wouldn’t even die a whole corpse! And you think I could explain things at Koi Tower?”

Jin ZiXuan, “They would not!”

Wei WuXian laughed, “They would not? How can you ensure it? Jin ZiXuan, I have a question—when you invited me at first, did you really not know about their plan to kill me?!”

Jin ZiXuan paused for a second before he raged, “You! Wei WuXian, are… are you mad?!” Wei WuXian was suppressing a blazing flame of hatred.

His voice was cold, “Jin ZiXuan, move away right now. I won’t touch you, but you’re not going to provoke me either.”

Seeing that he still refused to yield, Jin ZiXuan suddenly lunged forward, as if trying to hold him down, “Why can’t you just back off for once?! A-Li is still…” Just as he reached toward Wei WuXian, he heard a strange, heavy noise.

WWX was right. The intention was to kill him. He had every right to view JZXuan with suspicion as well. They have never exchanged a kind word with each other. WWX is facing an ambush. JZXuan can't promise him safety at all.

Did WWX lose control, yes. Was he at fault? No. Actions and decisions aren't made in vacuum. WE have proof that JZXuan isn't involved in the murder plot because WE know JZXun and JGS didn't tell him.

WWX doesn't know.

As WQ points out, they don't even ask WWX about the rebound curse marks. Not even JZXuan does. They're there to kill and nothing else.

3. After this, we have JZXuan's death and WWX's own reaction to it. We have WN and WQ paralizing him and sacrificing themselves to spare him and the others. The companions he has known for nearly two years, two people he gave up nearly everything to protect, are apparently killed.

4. Jins, as we know, provoked WN into losing control. It was a great tactic to get all sects own board. But WWX knew what was happening in reality to an extent.

He should’ve understood long ago. No matter what he did, not a single good word would come out of these people’s mouths. When he won, others feared; when he lost, others rejoiced.

He was cultivating the crooked path either way, so what exactly did the years of persistence mean? What exactly were they for?”

What he did or didn't do didn't matter in the end.

5. Four Sects and thousands of people gathered at Nightless City to scatter the ashes of an innocent woman they murdered. It was a spectacle. They didn't have a single thing to hold against WQ. No proof that she had killed anyone, no tales of her participating in war, nothing. They killed her because of her name. Without any justice. And all Four Sects witnessed it and only LWJ defended them.

Actions and decisions don't happen in vacuum. The sects had already tried to kill WWX, they had already killed WQ and WN, and now they were pledging to kill him again and his people, thing time with an army and full invasive force.

WWX himself highlights this effectively.

Wei WuXian, “Then let me ask you, Sect Leader Jin, at Qiongqi Path, who was the one being ambushed? And who was the one to kill? Who was the main schemer? And who was the one being schemed against? In the end, just who was the one that came to provoke me first?”

Bravening up, they shouted, “Even if Jin ZiXun was the one who schemed to ambush you first, you shouldn’t have been so heartless and kill so many lives!”

“Oh,” Wei WuXian helped him analyze, “If he wanted to to kill me, he didn’t have to think about whether it was a fatal blow or not, and if I died, it’d be my own bad luck. If I wanted to protect myself, however, I had to think about this and that not to harm, unable to take even a single strand of hair away from him? In conclusion, you all could pull a siege on me, but I’m not allowed to fight back, am I right?”

He is pointing out one injustice after another here. But even if he was silent and didn't confront them, even if he slinked back to the BM without venting his rage at the injustice, it wouldn't help. They planned to invade and kill him the very next day.

And despite this, he didn't attack first.

Before he could finish, he suddenly felt something at his throat. A dull ache came from his chest. He looked down to see a fletched arrow in the center of his chest. The head of the arrow was buried between two of his ribs.

BETWEEN TWO RIBS. It was aimed at the heart. It was aimed to kill. If that person was skilled, WWX would've died. Without warning, when his guard was down.

Exactly what do people expect here?

6. JYL's death, when you remove emotion from the scene, is an accident. She stepped into a battlefield. (I don't wanna know how a woman who is canonically so weak that tossing flowers exhausted her managed to travel from Koi Tower to Nightless City just a month after giving birth.)

So, you have a traumatized and despirate WWX. Someone who knows that the cultivation world is punishing and pushing. His cultivation requires emotional and mental stability. For all LWJ says he will lose control, WWX only does that when he is under extraordinary amount of stress. The kind of stress that no one would be able to handle. That would send anyone into qi deviation. Imagine powerful sects plotting to murder you and spin a web around you while you're trying to protect people.

If the stress doesn't happen, he doesn't lose control. From QQ Pass to Nightless City, WWX is pushed to the corner relentlessly.

EVEN then, half mad with all of the strain, HE STOPS when JYL asks him to. The moment his emotional stability is regained, he regains control. And he only loses control again when JYL is killed in front of his eyes.

AGAIN, he is attacked when his back his turned, when he is distracted.

You can't examine this situation isolatedly. Every time, WWX is responding. He isn't attacking first, he is always been attacked first.

Tldr: I believe there are some decisions WWX could've taken to perhaps delay things but the moment JGS and JGY decided WWX should be killed, the game was set. There was no escaping.

The difference is that WWX just didn't quietly submit and let them kill him. He fought tooth and nail to live. Every time he fought to live, they tried another way to compromise him.

WWX was one of the actors but none of this would've happened if JGS hadn't decided that WWX needed to be killed.

I wanna ask again, what was he supposed to do? In hindsight, you can think up 100s of scenarios and ways to avoid things that happened. But in the moment, when faced with people itching to kill him, what was he supposed to do?

If he didn't confront them at Nightless City, the sects would've marched to BMs. If they marched, the Wens would die. But even confronting them and pointing out the hypocrisy didn't help because by that point, it was futile. There was no decision WWX could've taken then that wouldn't have ended in disaster.

Should he have just submitted to death to appease people who were clearly wrong?

[besanii]

paper-thin

[ WangXian ; XiXian ]

--

The war is won!

Gusu is victorious!

Hanguang-wang is alive!

--

A sizeable crowd has gathered on the streets outside of the palace gates by the time Lan Wangji arrives, freshly bathed and changed out of his travel-weary and battle-worn armour into his formal robes. He dismounts as the guards approach, keeping the reins in his hand as he shows his pass; they grant him passage with a low bow, moving to the side as he leads his horse through the gates as quickly as decorum will allow.

The maids and eunuchs he passes on his way to the Hall of Mental Cultivation pay their respects with low bows and bent knees, lowering their gazes as they murmur his title with something akin to awe. He nods curtly in response but otherwise does not halt in his progress—it would not do to keep the Emperor waiting, war hero or not.

It's been over a year since he went to war, defending Gusu's coast against the invading forces of Dongying. The war had been harrowing and brutal and there were many times Lan Wangji where hadn't been sure he would survive. But he'd fought on with grit and tenacity, acutely aware of his role as a member of the Imperial family to lead and inspire his troops by example. That is, until a well-aimed arrow caught him in the shoulder between the plates of his armour, and sent him overboard in the midst of battle.

He’d survived. Barely.

The doors to the Imperial study are open when he arrives, and the eunuchs kneeling on either side of the door touch their foreheads to the ground in greeting. He walks up to the eunuch standing closest to the door.

“I am here to see the Emperor,” he says.

“Yes, Wangye,” the eunuch replies.  He gets to his feet and turns to the door, raising his voice to announce: “Huangshang, Hanguang-wang begs an audience.”

They do not have to wait long for a response.

“Enter.”

The Emperor is still dressed in his court robes despite the lateness of the hour—the afternoon court session had been over for at least two shichen already—the black silk sleeves stark against the embroidered gold draped over the desk where he works. He puts his brush down as Lan Wangji parts the beaded curtain hanging from the archway leading into the main chamber, a smile already forming on his lips as he watches Lan Wangji kneel in the centre of the room.

“Your humble servant greets Huangshang,” Lan Wangji says, touching his forehead to the floor. “May our Emperor live for ten thousand years.”

“You may rise, Hanguang-wang,” the Emperor says. "We are very pleased to see you returned to the capital alive and well. Your service to the Empire will be duly rewarded."

Lan Wangji rises to his feet, sweeping over the invisible creases of his robe and shaking out his wide sleeves.

"Huangshang gives your subject too much credit," he replies. "I live to serve the Empire and will gladly give my life a thousand times over in its protection."

"Your devotion is recognised, Hanguang-wang, and appreciated," the Emperor says. "Nevertheless, a great victory such as this should be rewarded. Come, brother, is there anything you would wish for? Name it and it shall be granted."

Lan Wangji's hands curl into fists by his side.

"Huangshang would grant anything your subject wishes?" he asks quietly.

The smile on the Emperor's face freezes. A muscle twitches in his jaw as he swallows; he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and exhales slowly. The smile smooths into something cooler, but no less genial.

"Anything within reason," he clarifies.

Lan Wangji exhales and bows his head.

"Your lowly subject dares to presume Huangshang knows what it is I wish for," he says, keeping his voice carefully level. "There is only one wish—one request—your lowly subject would make."

He hears the Emperor sigh, a low, disappointed sound, and his stomach sinks with realisation. But he had not dragged himself out of the depths of hell and back here to give up so easily. In the three months he had allowed himself to be presumed dead, laying feverish and close to death with an infected wound, it had been this one hope, this one wish that had kept him clinging to life. If he survived the war, won the war, then nothing would stop him from coming back and finally—finally—asking for the one thing he's wanted more than life itself.

When he chances an upward glance, the corner of the Emperor's lips are drawn in tight and the crease between his brows have deepened. Lan Wangji has had years to learn the shape of the Emperor's moods, even the ones he hides behind pleasantries and polite smiles, and he knows the Emperor is displeased.

"We would advise Hanguang-wang to make another request," he says finally. Do not continue to pursue this.

Lan Wangji drops to his knees. "Huangshang, you know there is nothing else I would ask for.”

“Wangji, enough!” The room stills. A sigh. “Leave us.”

The eunuchs and maids turn in unison and bow, backing out of the chamber without a word; the door to the study shuts behind them. Lan Wangji curls and uncurls his fists against his thighs, breathing heavily through his nose as he struggles to get his heart rate back under control. He hears the rustle of fabric, followed by footsteps from behind the desk coming towards him, but he dares not raise his eyes.

“Wangji,” Lan Xichen says in an odd, stilted tone Lan Wangji has never heard before. “There is something you should know.”

--

Eunuchs and palace maids alike cower in the wake of his fury, scattering to the winds as soon as he passes. No one stops to question why a male member of the Imperial family aside from the Emperor and his sons is here, unaccompanied, within the gilded walls of the inner palace. Perhaps word had been sent ahead of his arrival, perhaps they had been expecting him--whatever the reason, Lan Wangji knows he would cut down anyone who dares stand in his way right now.

His mind is still reeling as he turns the corner along the once-familiar path that winds through the Imperial gardens, his feet following the route ingrained into him as a child still living within the palace walls.

He hasn't walked this path in close to fifteen years. Not much has changed: the trees and the flowers are the same--still the delicate gentians favoured by the previous mistress of this particular courtyard—only now there are also lotuses surrounding the small pavilion in the heart of the man-made pond, filling the air with their sweet fragrance. And inside that pavilion, an entirely different person is silhouetted against the afternoon sun.

A skirmish arose between Yunmeng and Qishan involving Qishan-hou's second son. 

Wen-er-gongzi was injured in the confrontation.

He takes a step forward, his feet suddenly heavy as though weighed down by boulders, dragging along the gravel. The person in the pavilion is still too far to have noticed him, but Lan Wangji has a clear view of the long black hair twisted up into a half-knot to expose the line of a long, slender neck, held in place by a fanzhan made of silver and set with blue sapphires. The sight of it makes his throat run dry.

Qishan demanded retribution for the injuries inflicted on Wen-er-gongzi. The life of his attacker.

Both Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen were each presented with a set the rare jewels at their coming of age, a mark of their status as members of the Imperial family. To see the same jewels adorning the familiar head of hair—

We believed you dead, Wangji. 

He drags his feet another step forward, the breath catching in his throat as the person in the pavilion half-turns at the sound.

We needed to protect him.

“Who goes there?” a eunuch calls, hurrying around the corner along the path around the pond. “This is Wei-xuanyi’s private garden, outsiders are not perm—”

“It’s alright, let him through.”

A lump forms in his throat so large he can barely breathe around it without pain; whatever hope of this being a cruel joke is crushed at the familiar voice. How many times in the past year has he heard it in his dreams? How many times has the memory of that voice called him back from the gates of Hell itself, when the rest of the world thought him dead?

The eunuch drops to his knees on the side of the garden path and bows his head; Lan Wangji takes this as a sign to proceed.

As a child, the garden path had always seemed wide and inviting; it had always led to his mother, the late Empress, the only source of light and happiness and home in his childhood. And yet now all he feels is dread, cold and dark, seeping out through the cracks in the surface of his façade with every step.

Lan Xichen’s words ring in his ears.

Wangji, it was the only way we could save him.

He stops at the bottom of the steps leading into the pavilion. Four steps. Just four steps, and yet his legs refuse to move, to take even just one more step forward; it is as though his body is fighting with everything it has against it. He can't move.

He is unsure how long he stands there at the bottom of the steps boring holes into the paved stones—it is difficult to keep track when one's mind is filled with the deafening roar of one's own heartbeat. It is not until the sound of footsteps, followed by a rush of activity in his periphery as the palace maids and eunuchs fall to their knees in unison, does he finally raise his eyes.

There, standing at the top of the steps, clad in soft, flowing robes of Gusu blue and Yunmeng purple, with Lan Xichen's jewels in his hair—

Wangji. Wei Wuxian—

Wei Wuxian lowers his head and bends at the knees, his fingertips clasped lightly by his hip. A demure greeting, wildly unsuitable for a member of the gentry.

“Hanguang-wang,” he murmurs. He raises his eyes slightly, enough to peer at Lan Wangji from beneath his lashes. Demure. Restrained.

The ground crumbles beneath Lan Wangji’s feet.

—I have taken Wei Wuxian as a consort.

--

Translations

Wangye (王爺) - equivalent of a Duke, usually Emperor’s brother or uncle

Huangshang  (皇上) - the Emperor; as per usual, I only use the pinyin when the term is used when directly addressing LXC

hou (侯) - equivalent of Marquis, second highest rank after 王

xuanyi (宣儀) - lit. ‘Propagator of Deportment’, a variant of the Tang dynasty concubine ranking pin (嬪) that doesn’t use feminine qualities; the second highest rank after furen/zande (夫人/贊德), used between 662-670 (possibly under Wu Zetian’s influence)

fazhan (髮簪) - hair ornament/pin

--

Notes

Title is taken from the Chinese phrase boming (薄命), which means to have an unlucky fate (usually in reference to women). It literally translates to “thin life/fate”. Inspired by a line in the song 雪落下的聲音 (the sound of snowfall; Story of Yanxi Palace OST):  此生 如纸般薄命 - this life, my fate is as thin as paper.

For those of you wondering where the hell I’m going with this—I have no fucking clue lmao. I just wanted to write WangXian angst with a dose of XiXian that doesn’t involve Dark!LXC for once. I also cannot be bothered to look back on this anymore, so any mistakes are purely cos I’ve given up working on this any further hahahahahaha *dies*

Inspired by a mish-mash of Story of Yanxi Palace (Fuheng x Yinglou reunion anyone???) and Empress of China (mostly the OST, but also the gorgeous costuming and setting of the Tang Dynasty).

Will I continue it? Maybe??? It took me weeks to even get my ass into gear to write this one snippet, I honestly don’t know if I will get around to writing more. But if it interests you, send me an ask about the ‘verse and I’ll try and expand more on it, even if it’s just headcanon form and not fic.

--

buy me a ko-fi!

--

[dangermousie]

Mousie’s absolutely subjective, very biased Top 10 web novels list

Please note that this is hardly aiming to be objective, if one can even be properly objective about a work of fiction. It is 110% based on my preferences, which means this list is heavy on the angst and has nothing set in the modern day. It is also heavily danmei-centric, even though I read way more het romance than danmei, because for whatever reason, most of the danmei I’ve read has been insanely good.

10. Return of the Swallow - one of the two non-danmeis on this list. Smart and nuanced and with a large cast of characters. Our heroine is a long-lost daughter of the family that is brought back in and has to cope with familial struggles, crazy royals, court intrigue, invasion et al. It’s SO GOOD! There is romance with the sexy smart enemy general but honestly, it’s the heroine that is the main selling point for me.

9. Transmigrator Meets Reincarnator - the only other non-danmei novel on this list, this was my very first web novel and what drew me into this insanity. This is just a ton of fun, probably the lightest novel on this list, not an ounce of angst to be found. But it’s hilarious and features competent heroine and tsundere hero and I will always love it for opening a new world to me. Anyway, our heroine transmigrates into the novel as the female lead. Unlike the original lead though she doesn’t want to seek adventures and angst - she just wants to comfortably live with the wealthy, nice husband heroine has. Alas, said husband is no longer nice since he has previously lived this story where he was betrayed by FL and then transmigrated/reincarnated into the past. Oh well, the heroine opens up businesses and makes friends. And eventually, her husband realizes his wife is way different this time around. This actually doesn’t have much romance, not until close to the end, but this is so fun I don’t care.

8. Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

7. Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS) - oh come on, how are you even on this tumblr if you don’t know MDZS/The Untamed? This was my very first danmei and it’s so much fun! I love everything about it - the unreliable narrator, the looping structure, the main OTP, Wei Wuxian’s laidback, traumatized insouciance, everything. Anyway, the plot in the event you somehow transported here from 2005 is that the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Wei Wuxian, was defeated by the righteous sects over a decade ago and fell of a cliff to his death. Only now that same Wei Wuxian opens his eyes in another body and everything that was supposed to stay in the past starts again.

6. Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF) - people either love its meandering narrative, picaresque structure and cast of thousands, or find it a detriment compared to much more compact MDZS. I love it even more than MDZS for those very qualities. It does have a rock-solid, darling OTP, but what really elevates it to me are the MXTX trademark combo of snarky/light tone hiding a ton of trauma underneath, the insanely intricate world-building, and what it has to say about the nature of grace and goodness. Xie Lian is one of my top 5 web novel characters and probably in top 10 from anywhere. Oh, and while MXTX’s stuff is not as angsty for me as Meatbun’s or even Priest’s, there are always exceptions, and there is one chapter in this novel that pretty much broke me and sometimes I still flashback to it and feel unwell.

Anyway, what is it about? There is a commotion in the heavenly realm - Xie Lian, the Crown Prince of a long-destroyed kingdom, has ascended to Godhood. That in itself is not so exciting. However for Xie Lian this is the third time (!!!!) as he’s ascended and lost his godhood twice prior. And now, the biggest joke of the divine realm is back, throwing the heavenly realm into chaos. And elsewhere, Hua Cheng, one of the four most powerful demons of that Universe, sits up and takes notice.

5. Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is also finding the middle path between their two very different philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

4. Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

3. To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two take up farming, get involved in the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

1. The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.