#the zero studying for the first exam was quite a time

[elsa-fogen]

Yep. Yeah. That's me. Almost all of it, except, i sleep well (if i manage to fall asleep) Reblogging because maybe some of you didn't know (i also didn't know)

Story time!

Too long don't read: used to sleep on private math lessons because i hate math; it takes hours for me to fall asleep WHEN I SUPPOSED TO, and my sister does it in 3-5 minutes.

I was studying at university and we had MATH there I've always had problems with it. since 5th grade i think (well, i hated math before too but real problems started there) when i changed schools and the new class was behind what I've already studied and i didn't pay attention, until i realized that at some point I was behind. I said "welp, i guess it's to late to try, so fuck it"

So at university we had this very high level math and i just couldn't understand a thing (and we had an awful teacher who was saying evvvvery time something like "yall getting expelled, we're all gonna die") so i decided "if i don't understand, fuck it then, i will not even try" and started skipping math classes.

But i STILL had to pass an exam, we were getting 3 tries and if you fail you're getting expelled. I failed first two what a surprise (i don't know how i managed to pass it after all, i can't remember SHIT, only that i is fucking non-existing number which is square root of -1. Why on earth would you need it i have NO fucking clue.

So i had personal teachers who tried to make me understand at least something to pass the exam. And there was one i remember very well, i even remember that we paid her 10$ per hour (for us that was quite a lot). And i remember her because i was SLEEPING. I just COULDN'T keep my eyes opened. She explains something about deviding by zero and my brain draws the fucking universe collapsing in front of my eyes. She gives me some task, I'm trying to write something and I'm falling asleep and DREAMING about writing, then ahe wakes me up and i see that i didn't write SHIT. It all ended when in the middle of lesson she just kicked me out.

And, what a miracle, I'm leaving her apartments and suddenly, all the sleepiness just wanishes! I'm walking home, thinking about some another AU of mine, roleplaying it with myself in my head, full of energy again.

That's not the only case of this, but it's the strongest i ever felt. But that like happens all the time, EVEN WHEN MY MOM OR MY GRANNY COMES TO ME AND START TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING I'M NOT INTERESTED, IM YAWNING AND FEEL URGE TO FALL ASLEEP. But the moment they leave, It goes away! I was calling it work allergy LMAO

I was diagnosed with adhd in my early childhood (there was also something about epilepsy, but it's ok now so it doesn't matter), not long ago i brought this fact back into my active memory (thanks to Jaiden animations ADHD video for that xD) i kinda used to myself by now and now I'm trying to catch and analyse all moments of adhd kicking in. I know my own tricks and buttons, how to make myself do the thing or just how to force myself into doing something. Because i know if i start, I'll probably lock in and won't get up until it's done (well, if i have at least a tiny bit of interest in that thing, or else i won't), and i hate it when someone interrupts me in the middle of the process. No mom, i can't come right now, i can't finish it later, because i either spend few more hours forcing myself to go back to the task or just forget about it.

But i didn't know that this sleepiness was a legit symptom! I just thought that it's exaderated boredom, that's it, had a joke name for it. That's... Funny to know that this thing is actually also adhd moment.

Also, about sleeping. I have problems falling asleep. I may lie in the bed for hours without even my phone, just rotating my stories in my head, and when i don't have a story to think about, this is just the name of my current hyperfixation with different tones and in different random dialogues that doesn't even make sense. I have no idea how to fall asleep, except when i didn't sleep for like 48 hours (EVEN THEN IT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM AND I START THINKING OF THAT CREEPY PRION SICKNESS AND SCARE MYSELF AGAIN). And my mom told me that it have always been like that with me. She and my dad had the whole ritual to make me fall asleep. Dad would hold me in his arms, his head with me covered with a blanket that i could only see his face (or else I would look everywhere and never fall asleep), and rock me for HOURS while i was SCREAMING and CRYING the whole time like i was tortured. But when I'd finally fall asleep, they could be as loud as usual and didn't have to whisper, because wake me up is a whole different story. And my mom was SHOCKED when all it took to make my sister fall asleep was just pet her back for 3-5 minutes.

I don't think of myself as... Sick or ill. That's how i was all my life, i don't know anything else. That's not a sickness to me, that's just part of my personality. Maybe sometimes some parts of it bite me in the ass and make my life harder, but i don't know other life. That's the only one I've got, and i guess I'm fine with that (tho now that i think about it, i need to pay more attention to how i write the characters, and don't make them all ADHDshers LOL i need to study neurotypical people under a microscope 🔬🔍)

bro im gonna CRY i didnt know this 🥺

[immortalsins]

flipflopping between 'this bio exam will go ok since i did zero studying for the first one and still passed' and 'i'm going to fail abysmally i need to give up on sleep, cancel my travel plans, and lock in until i know whole textbooks off by heart' so i'm stuck here with paralysing guilt and fear obviously

[mercuriians]

I feel like a fic about Atsumu, Oikawa, and Bokuto finding their s/o reading fanfic about them would be hilarious

(You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to <3)

Have a lovely day and thank you if you end up doing this request <33333

a fantasy world

content info — gender neutral! reader, fluffy hq!! drabbles with some crack & hurt/comfort (sounds weird but bear w it, all separate). a teeny tiny bit suggestive in atsumu's part cuz he's a little shit.

word count — 1.9k words.

author’s note — holy HELL this is so late 😭 anon i hope ur still here, i made this pretty long so that's my way of apologizing. im also praying that atsumu is in character because this is only the second time ive written him. anyway, tysm for requesting!! hope u all like this <3

MIYA ATSUMU

your eyes are obstinately glued to your phone, wholly transfixed by the words that were typed across the screen. not a single soul knew about your little hobby and quite frankly, it was likely better that they remained oblivious. you wouldn’t know how to react if anyone found out, but really, there was one particular person who absolutely had to stay unaware.

as it turns out, they were also the very subject of the story you’re currently reading—of course, none other than your sweet, beloved boyfriend, atsumu. not that the term ‘sweet’ was an especially fitting term for him. ooh, that was a sick burn.

now, obviously you loved the boy. atsumu was bold, intelligent, thoughtful, hardworking, and affectionate to the point where osamu and the rest of his team often complained about how shameless he was in front of them. his spirit burned bright with fiery ambition, glimmering red and orange and yellow, and he introduced a kind of light into your life that you had never quite experienced before. at first you were a little wary at first, a little blinded by how much he shone, but because you were just as stubborn as he was, you soon grew used to it.

if anything, you came to learn that atsumu was undoubtedly one of the most inspirational people out there. motivating his peers was like second-nature to him, and even if he didn’t consciously put in the effort to inspire them, he still ended up doing so anyway. his love for volleyball was blatant in its authenticity, in its obsession. so when coupled with his charisma, and, yes, his boyishly good looks, atsumu developed a serious kind of gravitational pull. it was no wonder so many people were drawn in—yourself included.

but, inevitably, something had to be sacrificed. your boyfriend’s devotion to the game often meant that you two didn’t get to spend much time together. if atsumu wasn’t practicing at the gym, then he was either thinking about doing it, on his way to doing it, or—this happens only under the direst of circumstances—recovering from doing it. he was, in every sense of the word, a workaholic.

you were fine with it for the most part, mostly because you had a busy schedule to deal with yourself. if you weren’t doing homework or studying for an upcoming exam for the sake of staying on top of your classes, then you were either fulfilling your duties as a student council member, playing your respective sport, or taking care of things at home.

regardless, there were still times when you wished atsumu was with you. it didn’t matter if he was spewing volleyball jargon, or forcing you to pepper with him, or anything like that. you just wanted to spend time with him, to actually see him and his stupid face and his stupid smile that you want to kiss so badly.

maybe that’s why you’re so zeroed in on the fanfiction you’re reading—to try and make up for what you’ve been deprived of for days on end. a very palpable twinge of sadness tugs at your heart. you push the unwanted sentiment to the depths of your mind, trying to focus on reading the story again.

god, what sentence were you even on? and why was the door suddenly opening—

“hey baby, did ya miss me?”

your soul leaves your body.

before you even have time to think, a shrill scream rips from your throat as you scramble to hide your phone underneath the covers. atsumu's jaw drops, completely and utterly befuddled by your behavior. after a moment he raises his hands in mock surrender. "jeez, darlin', it's just me. your boyfriend, remember?" atsumu says, brow raised. there's a mixture of emotions written across his face—slight concern, palpable amusement, even some suspicion. "what are ya hidin' there on your phone, anyway?"

finally, you seem to find your voice. "n-nothing important," you mumble, clearly and very intentionally avoiding the intensity of atsumu's hawk-like gaze. "i didn't even know you'd be visiting today.. thought you would be busy with practice again."

maybe it's because your boyfriend knows you so well by now, but he catches the hint of bitterness in your tone. his face softens, and he takes one, two, three steps toward you until he's taking up the space on your left. "coach called in sick, so mister perfect decided to just cancel practice for today," atsumu shrugs. you're still somewhat upset, but you can't help but smile at the setter's nickname for his captain—kita shinsuke, the closest embodiment of perfection that anyone's ever seen.

"i'm pretty sure i texted ya that i would be dropping by," your boyfriend adds, glancing over at you. cautiously, you pull out your phone again and open up the messages app. lo and behold, he did in fact text you, but you were too busy with your fanfiction to notice.

your face burns with the weight of your embarrassment.

a small chuckle escapes from atsumu's mouth. "wow, i haven't even done anything and you're already blushin' for me," he teases. you hit his chest halfheartedly, muttering about how mean he's being. you fail to notice the calculating glint in his eyes. you also fail to notice his hand wandering.

a second later, atsumu grins smugly, your phone held securely in his grip.

"what the hell, 'sumu?!" you screech, trying to retrieve the object in vain. "how did you even—"

"i'm good with my hands," he winks, and you don't even have time to scold him for the clear innuendo because he's typing in the password to your phone. all you can do is accept your fate as atsumu discovers the story you were reading.

as expected, he laughs. loudly. it's almost like the laugh he lets out whenever he wins a bet against osamu. you turn away, shame and humiliation gnawing at your chest. there's nothing more you want than to be swallowed by the floor beneath you.

however, when atsumu's laughter dies down a few moments later, you feel him wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "baby," he begins, voice still a little breathless from all his cackling, "why are ya reading this when ya got the real thing right here?"

you look up at him, a confusing mess of emotions swirling within your stomach. "because we don't seem to spend much time together anymore," you admit, lowering your eyes to the ground. "laugh all you want, but these stories are there for me whenever i need them. you probably think it's stupid, or pathetic, or whatever, but.. i miss you, 'sumu."

you close your eyes, preparing to hear another round of thunderous laughter. it never comes.

"open yer eyes for me, babe," atsumu's voice is unexpectedly soft, tender. hesitantly, you do, and your gaze meets his. your boyfriend reaches out, resting a calloused hand against your cheek. his touch is so familiar, so comforting, that you can't do anything else but lean in and welcome it. "i didn't know that ya were feelin' this way, and i'll admit that it's my fault for not noticing. but hey, you wanna know somethin'?"

"what is it?" you whisper.

"i miss ya too," your boyfriend confesses. he leans in, placing a soft kiss against your lips. "and tomorrow, i'm taking ya out on a date."

OIKAWA TOORU

"oh my god, this is so cute," you sigh dreamily, swinging your feet in satisfaction as you indulge yourself. it was fanfiction, for crying out loud—can you really be blamed? this particular story practically reeked of fluff. you had just received flowers from the male lead, with you two having confessed just a few days ago. now you were on the first date, entering the doorway to a beautiful relationship that made every reader jealous.

the fact that the male lead—the infamous setter of aoba johsai, fanboy of iwaizumi hajime, hater of ushijima wakatoshi—also happened to be your boyfriend was just a minor detail.

you continued reading, the outside world completely irrelevant as you immersed yourself in the story. soon another squeal leaves your lips as oikawa, the male lead, bends down to kiss your hand. he says something swoonworthy, causing you to giggle like a madman. "that's it, i'm marrying you," you say, as if he can hear you through the story.

"marrying who?"

you let out a defeated sigh as your boyfriend pops his head into your room. there's a pout on oikawa's face, his mocha eyes filled with mock betrayal. still there's a part of you that knows he actually is a little bit jealous; he just doesn't know that technically, he's jealous of himself. "who are you marrying, babe?" he asks you somewhat accusingly. "i think it's a bit too early for—"

"shut up please," you groan, a bit sad that your reading session got interrupted. "i'm reading this fanfiction of you, and in the story, you're actually nice to me."

you immediately hear an indignant gasp from your boyfriend. he puts a hand to his chest, his pout now even more prominent. "excuse me, i am nice to you," oikawa scoffs as he walks over, squinting at the story you're reading. "i'm way better than him!"

"you are him," you deadpan.

"exactly! why are you reading that when i'm right here? i'm hurt," oikawa says in disapproval, shaking his head at you. "now move over."

you blink—once, twice. "wait, what?"

"i wanna read too," oikawa says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "so i can list all the things they got wrong about me."

BOKUTO KOUTAROU

maybe reading fanfiction about your boyfriend wasn't the best idea. it's not that the story wasn't great because it really was—the characterization was on-point, the writing style was smooth and elegant, and the plot was creative. it's more about your boyfriend himself. particularly the way that he reacted when he found out.

"am i not good enough?" bokuto asked you quietly as he stared up at you. his golden eyes were absolutely despondent, his shoulders were slouched, and even his owlish hair looked like it was deflated. you didn't need akaashi to understand that those were all signs of an emo bokuto.

and it was all because of you.

man, the guilt was unbearable.

"koutarou," you say softly, reaching out to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. "baby, you are more than enough for me. you're amazing, okay? you're my anchor, and you make me smile when no one else can. compared to you, this fanfiction means nothing." you pause, placing a tender kiss against his warm cheek. "seeing you sad makes me sad, you know?"

"i'm sorry," bokuto mumbles, burying his face in the crook of your shoulder. "i thought i'd let you down or something, like i wasn't being a good boyfriend. it scared me."

his words make your heart hurt even more. you pull away from the hug, letting your earnest gaze meet his. "from now on, you don't have to be scared," you tell him seriously. "i'll stop reading fanfiction, and every day, i'll remind you of how much you mean to me. is that fair, kou?"

bokuto nods, and it's at that moment that you start to see the gloomy aura around him disappear. "i love you," he says, and you can tell that he means it. he always does.

you pull him closer, your fingers combing through his hair soothingly. he hums quietly, enjoying the feeling. "i love you too, koutarou," you smile. "and no story will ever change that."

you let a few moments pass by, simply listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. slowly, you let your eyes close, your boyfriend's strong embrace lulling you to a light rest. after a few moments, though, bokuto's voice breaks through the silence. "can i ask you a question, babe?"

you open your eyes. "anything."

he pulls away, his expression completely serious as he looks at you. "can we get something to eat?"

[sadie-the-dragon-slayer]

Self / Independent Learner's Guide to Language Learning From Zero

-a mini study plan I used this for Spanish, French and Italian, it is my favourite way of starting to learn. It won't teach you the langauge but if this is your first time, if you feel confused and don't know where to begin, this is for you! -this is kinda romance langauge based but might give you ideas if you are learning from a different family too -this is very notebook / writing based since i prefer learning that way Step 1: Preperation

First of all, ask yourself "do i already have some amount of immersion in this langauge?" As humans, we learn from immersion a lot. Songs, but especially visual media is incredibly heplful. I never studied japanese but after watching a few animes i picked up 5-10 random words. Passive vocabulary, being familiar to most common words will be your biggest friend. If the answer is no, before start studying ANYTHING do some immersion. e.g. I watched dix pour cent for French and learned arrêt which means stop because characters were shouting to each other all the time.

After making sure you have some immersion or if you already have some, PREPARE YOUR RESOURCES. Make a file in your computer, reblog tumblr posts, save links. Search for pdfs in google. (x language a1 pdf / x langauge a1 grammar book / x language a1 reading) Free PDF's and and useful websites. The more the merrier. Why? Because when you actually start learning you will slowly realise them half of them are not actually useful, too advance, too simple, not in your preffered style etc. You will en up using same handful amount of resources again and again but before that, you have to TRY EVERYTHING. You are unique and so will be your learning process.

Google x language A1 curriculum. (you can try adding "pdf" at the end of sentence as well) It "probably/ hopefully" exists. If you can't find that way, learn which offical exam is necessary (e.g. for French it's DELF/DALF, in english there is IELTS and so many more) If you are lucky, you can find a langauge teaching enstitute's curriculum and you can find in what order they teach things. This was very helpful for me because sometimes you don't know what to study next, or just want to visualise what do you need to learn, it is helpful. I printed one out and paste it to the back cover of my notebook. You won't need this one YET. I'll explain in a second. Keep reading.

Get a notebook. I don't prefer books while learning from zero because it will be filled with vocabulary you don't know. My pereference is no squares no lines empty ass notebook and colorful pens. I'm a person of shitty doodles. I love to draw and visualise things. It really helps my brain. In A1, your knowledge is absouletly zero and your brain is about the explode with realising GREAT MASS of knowledge you need to learn in order to be "fluent" . So keep things away from being "too much" if you want to avoid a burnout.

Set a timer. If you want to avoid burnout, the secret is always quit when you feel like you can go another round happily. Quit when you are dopamine high. If you study too much, next day you'll wake up tired, want to rest etc. and make it harder for you to create a habit. I did this mistake with French by studying 4-5 hours everyday for around 30 days. I completed my challenge, completly quit and then didn't come back for MONTHS.

You will be re-studying A LOT. Language learning is repetition. You will start by studying "the A1 curriculum". But, because this is your first time your focus will be on the vocabulary and general comprehension. You are trying to re-wire your brain, and learn a different way of thinking and living. It's not easy. It will take time. It will be painful at times. But it is 100% worth it.

After you finished studying your curriculum, you'll take a short break and then study the curriculum AGAIN. For a second time. Because you already know the basics, this time you will be able to focus more on the little things you weren't able to comprehend the last time. e.g. articles or whatever little frustaring thing your langauge has. Also focus more on basic prononciation and especially reading aloud. Find a realistic text-to-reader. Copy-paste a text. Listen and repeat.

Get a new Youtube and Instagram account dedicated to langauge study. How many good resources exists and where they are is really depens on which langauge you are learning. For english, youtube is better. For French, instagram is better. You have to see for yourself. If you get a seperate account for your langauge algorith will learn faster and you won't be distracted by other stuff. Short form engaging videos are the best for absolute beginners. Re-watch things and try to repeat them out loud. It's called shadowing and is your future best friend.

If you want to learn how to speak, you first need to how to write. If you can't write sentences without looking at google translate (or reverso) you won't be able to make up sentences in your head. If you want to learn how to write, your first need to learn how to read. You need to start in this order but also don't be perfectionist. Do it even if you do it wrong. They will be fixed eventually and won't stick. Record yourself speaking even if the text you are reading is 90% google translated. Why? Beacuse speaking will enhance your vocabulary in a way no other thing can and that's the core of reading. So this isn't a linear thing. It's actually a circle!

Step Two! Ok, Sadie, i got my notebooks and read through all the warnings where do i start? *First page: [] means written is target langauge

[x notebook] x= your target langauge

Add something cute and make you feel happy to open up the notebook. It can a drawing, a picture, anything. First page is your entrance to your new home. Make it welcoming.

*[My name is X. I am Y years old. I live in Z.] *Greetings. Main articles if there are any. Yes, no, please, thank you. *What is your name, what do you do for living, how are you, where are you from, how old are you, how many langauges do you speak, numbers from 0-100. If there are multiple way of saying these things and probably there are, just write one. You will eventually learn others. Baby steps. *write a basic ass text of two people having a conversation asking and answering these questions.

*the alphabet and how to pronounce the letters. basic letter combinations that change into a different sound. a youtube video about this 100% exists.

*personal pronouns and if there is a "am/is/are" verb the conjugation of it. (in spanish there is two unfortunately) *artciles and basic noun endings. a couple exemples of nouns in x form but takes y article. *first 5 most common verbs. learn the conjugation, try writing basic ass sentences. (e.g. to come, go, have, speak)

*three more verbs (e.g. to eat, can, to want)

*take some time to fully comprehend. check your curriculum list to look and see if you want to add anything. e.g.for spanish that can be ser vs estar, for spanish is can be "how to ask questions in french" becaue it's way harder compared to other langauges.

*take some break from grammar and learn some vocab maybe. it can be colors, or feelings. (i am sad, i am hungry etc.)

*start studying most common verbs. usually a form of categorization exists. usually it's verb ending. (unless it's a language like turkish where every verb either ends with -mek or -mak lol.) Start with 10- 15 most common verbs. You will also be learning some vocabulary by default. (try to stick to regular verbs if you can, if not that's fine) (Do not learn any verbs you won't be able to use immediately.)

*Learn basic adjectives and how they work so you can form more detailed sentences.

*After comprehending how to form basic positive negative sentences and some verbs, congratulate yourself, because you deserve it! *Learn how tell time. "What time is it? It's x'o clock."

*learn clothing and how to simply describe physical look e.g. hair color, eye color, beard, glasses...

*learn the verbs of daily routine. be able to write a generic ass "i wake up, i do breakfast, i eat lunch at school, i sleep" sort of text.

*demonstratives. this that. these. those. you can add some vocabulary you like. this is a cat. this is a tree. you can add placement adjectives now or later. (the cat is under the sofa. the bird is on the table etc.)

*Now you know a lot of things! Take some time and focus a bit more on the vocab, let your brain process things, do some passive immersion. avoid a burnout at all costs. *learn how to say "there is" (if you want more vocab transportation and city centre themes can be included.) *learn how to talk about your hobbies. This is the generic A1 curriuculum. You are able to understand basic things, you have a generic comprehension. That's all it takes to be considered A1. If you want to pass it though, what you need is a good grammar source. For French and Spanish Kwiziq was very useful. I couldn't find a good online grammar resource for Italian yet. (please ask more experienced langblrs for recs.) Slowly learn more vocab (since A1 is more vocab based. If you hate Anki and Quizlet stuff check Linguno. Actually check Linguno anyway it's a banger and i'm gonna die on that hill.)

If you don't have have native friend to ask questiones and you don't have any ethical concerns ChatGPT can be useful. I'm using it for French for months. Why are we using this particle here, why this and not that, can you give me some example sentences.... you can play guess the animal, ask for writing prompts and then make ChatGpt find and explain your mistakes to you. It's very handy.

*Don't be scared to share about your journey on Tumblr and most importantly ENJOY!

[chibilino]

IDFC

synopsis: You and your roommate are oblivious to each other's feelings

pairings: roommate! Haechan x fem! reader

genre: college!au, fluff, angst, 3 smau slides

warnings: kind of mention of sex, food, alcohol, crying, swearing, grammar

word count: 2.4k

You stood in the kitchen, making yourself a cup of tea when your roommate had left for the first party of the weekend. It was his turn to host the party pregame get-together, meaning you got absolutely zero studying done for the past roughly three hours he and his friends were there. You look over to the time on the display of the microwave as you pour the hot water from the kettle into your cup. If it’s 10pm now, that means Donghyuck likely won’t be back until around 2am, so I can get 4 good hours of studying in. You thought to yourself as you walked back to your room. You plop back down at your desk, sighing as you straighten all of your papers, looking for the best place to begin. 

You had been able to sit and concentrate on the papers sprawled on your desk for about 3 hours before it all started to look the same, indicating you had used all of your allotted brain cells for said task and forced yourself to sit on the couch and watch Charmed. To say it was your comfort show would be an understatement. When you first moved in, Donghyuck complained the entire month of October because he was forced to watch nothing but Charmed if you were home. Although he complained the entire time, he still stayed and watched with you, letting you explain parts he didn’t quite understand due to the fact he had missed an episode, or 7, because he was either taking an exam, pretending to study for said exam, or partying. 

Donghyuck wasn’t a bad roommate by any means. He was respectful of shared spaces and always made sure to not use any of the grocery items you had purchased without getting permission from you first, and on the off chance that he needed to, he would replace it and text you almost immediately. He was so friendly and nice to you when you first moved in, and it shouldn’t go unmentioned that he is not bad to look at. The situation was very stressful for both you and Donghyuck. You were kicked out by your previous landlord because he was selling the building and only giving you 2 weeks of notice to find somewhere else to live while you finish your degree, and Donghyuck’s previous roommate dropping out altogether and leaving him with the rent of the two bedroom apartment. 

The only downside was when he got drunk. 

You liked to call Donghyuck “Haechan” when he was drunk, because to you, he felt like a different person. You had been at the same party as him and his friends before and let's just say it was a less than desirable experience. You were familiar with his fuck boy antics when he was drunk but hearing them is completely different from seeing them begin with your own eyes. 

You had planned to only watch an episode or two and then confine yourself to your bedroom before Haechan got home, but things didn't go as planned. Instead you fell asleep on the couch, and were woken up to your loud roommate stumbling into your shared apartment. 

“Honey, I’m home!” he sang as he haphazardly kicked off his shoes, leaving them in the entryway before walking in a zig-zag pattern to the living room where you looked up at him from the couch groggily. 

“It’s 2 in the morning. Must you be so obnoxious?” you spat before slowly standing up from the cozy spot on the couch and making your way to the kitchen to return your mug. Donghyuck followed behind you as he began to tell you the events of tonight's party, slurring most of the words as they fell from his lips. You could tell by his demeanor that he would not remember the majority of tonight and you were slightly surprised he was even able to make it home in one piece. You make a mental note to thank Renjun the next time you see him while rinsing your mug in the sink before placing it into the top rack of the dishwasher. 

“You’re looking at the new pong champion, y/n” he says as he flexes his right arm and places a kiss on his bicep. If he won and looks like this, you don’t want to know what the others who played looked like. 

“That’s great, Hyuck” you respond, walking back to the living room to finish your episode of Charmed, Donghyuck followed suit. Sitting on one end of the couch, you throw the blanket over yourself and wiggle to get into the most comfortable position. Donghyuck takes this opportunity to sprawl out next to you, laying his head on your lap in the process. This action didn’t startle you as it happened frequently. Donghyuck was a very physically affectionate person and things like this mini cuddle session became a norm in your shared apartment. To him, your thighs were just better than a pillow, but to you, to you it was more than that. 

You always underestimated your feelings for Donghyuck, pushing them to the back of your heart, telling yourself it would be better to just suppress them, that nothing good would come from confessing. However, nights like this made doing just that extremely difficult. After a few seconds your fingers found their way into his hair and you could feel him relax further into your lap. You look down at him with a smile before that same smile turns into a frown when you remind yourself that no matter how much you want this to mean something for both of you, it will never happen. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up the next morning, still on the couch with Donghyuck, his head still on your lap and your hand still in his hair, the only difference is the grip of his arms around your thigh. You move slightly, hoping the movement was enough to make him loosen his grip on your leg but not so much to tear him from sleep. Luck seemed to be on your side today, his grip loosened enough for you to slide your body out from under him and off the couch as you walked lightly towards your room, closing the door behind you. 

About an hour has passed since you hid in your room. You made your way to the kitchen, deciding it was more than enough time to not seem suspicious. You heard Donghyuck groan from the couch and you peek around the corner to see him. 

“Rough night,huh?” You say as Heachan sits up from his previous position on the couch, rubbing his head. You grab 2 ibuprofen and a glass of water before walking into the living room and placing them on the table in front of Donghyuck. 

“I think so? I honestly don’t remember most of it.” He takes the medication you brought him and sip the water before placing the mostly filled glass back on the table. 

“Yea. That’s not surprising at all. You walked in at 2am and screamed “Honey. I’m home!”” You chuckled slightly. The interaction last night was annoying but looking back you found it almost endearing. Donghyuck cringed at the thought and made a vow to never drink again, you both know it was a lie. “You should probably let Renjun know that you’re alive.” You tell him before walking back to your room and text Renjun yourself

You spend the rest of your day avoiding your hungover roommate. Renjun’s text keeps you in your thoughts the entire time. 

The next day starts similarly to the day prior, the only difference was Hyuck and his friends pre-gamed at Jeno’s house instead of yours. You study for a few hours and are brought back to reality by the front door opening and what sounded like 2 people stumbling inside. You hear the sounds of a girl giggling followed by Haechan shushing her. Your heart sinks a bit as you realize what is happening and put your headphones on, turning the volume high enough to drown out the sounds you know are coming. Studying becomes increasingly difficult just imagining what is happening in the room down the hall, so you decide to attempt to sleep. Headphones still on, volume slightly higher than before, you lay in bed, watching tiktoks until you eventually can’t keep your eyes open any longer. 

You hear the girl leave the next morning before Donghyuck starts to stir, and you just lay in bed for a few minutes until you know she’s gone. You slowly make your way to the kitchen, making yourself a coffee as well as Donghyuck, since you know he would need it. You place the usual ibuprofen next to a glass of water as you begin breakfast. Donghyuck enters the kitchen groggily as you place a plate of pancakes, bacon, and eggs next to the medication, water, and coffee. 

“Good Morning.” You say, your voice is a bit weaker than anticipated, still hurt by Hyucks actions and the text from Renjun the day before.  

“God I love you.” He says before taking the meds and stuffing his face with breakfast. You swear you can audibly hear your heart shatter into a million pieces at his words. You smile slightly as you try to mask the pain. 

“Everything okay?” He asks, still shoveling food into his mouth. 

“Yea. I’m fine.” an obvious lie but Donghyucks head hurts too badly and he is enjoying the food too much to notice. “Just have a big exam that I’m worried about, that's all.” You fake a smile as you take a bite of your breakfast. 

“Well. If anyone can ace it, it's you!” he replies enthusiastically. You give another light smile before quickly placing your dishes in the dishwasher and retreating to your room to study. 

Not long after, Donghyuck takes it upon himself to come into your room and plop himself on your bed. 

“May I help you?” You ask without looking away from your notes. 

“Bored.” He says with a huff. 

“Why don’t you hang out with one of your girlfriends” You reply, a bit of disdain in your voice. 

“Where is all of this coming from?” He was confused. You normally enjoyed his company while studying, and he would occasionally help. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” all of the emotions you have held back for so long came crashing in like a tsunami wave. 

“What do you mean? Do what? Y/N what’s going on?” Donghyuck was now concerned on top of his confusion as he watched the tears fall from your eyes onto the notes you had sprawled on your desk. 

“Please just go Hyuck.” You say, wiping the tears from your face. 

“Y/N” 

“Go.” Your voice is softer than anticipated. Donghyuck slowly stood from your bed and made his way out of your room to his. 

He laid on his bed staring at the ceiling, trying to wrack his brain to find what could have caused you to have this outburst. It couldn’t have been the girl he brought home last night, right? You didn’t reciprocate his feelings for you so why would you care if he tried to get over you. He pulled out his phone and texted Renjun. Out of all of his friends, you were closest to Renjun after him of course. 

After Donghyuck had left you pulled your knees to your chest and sobbed at your desk. Your phone lit up with a text from Renjun. 

After texting Renjun, you moved from your desk to your bed. A hood pulled around your head. Your face is stained with tears and your eyes puffy from crying. A soft knock can be heard from your door but you don’t have the energy to move or even vocalize to let them in or tell them to go away. After a moment of silence, Donghyuck slowly opens the door. 

“y/n?” he asks in the darkness of our room, waiting what felt like an eternity to me for you to answer. When you don’t respond he slowly makes his way to your bed and sits gently on the edge near your feet, looking down at his fidgeting hand trying to find his words.

You start to speak before he can. Your voice startles him and shakes him from his thoughts. 

“I can’t keep doing this.” Your voice still meek from crying. You cough slightly before speaking again. “I can’t keep doing this little…. Dance we’re doing.” You try to take a deep breath to keep yourself from crying again, but your voice quivers slightly. “I have feelings for you, Hyuck. I try to act like I don’t and that I don’t care but I do, and it scares me. It scares me because you act like you feel the same, like when you lay with me and watch Charmed and let me play with your hair.” You smile at the memory from 2 nights ago, only for a moment though, and then the tears fill again threatening to spill as you continue “but then you go and bring a girl home and fuck her while I’m here… and then tell me you love me the next morning..” You stop for a moment as tears start to fall. “I can’t tell if it’s all pretty lies or if you feel the same but I am so tired.” You try to get your breathing under control. “Tired of trying, tired of hiding how I feel, and tired of feeling…. Like this…” You gesture to the air exacerbated before pulling your knees to your chest once again, and waiting for Donghyuck to speak. 

He just stares at you for a minute, trying to gather his thoughts, but his body reacted faster than his brain could. Next thing he knew he was kneeling next to you, gently lifting your chin to look at him, before softly pressing his lips to yours. You don’t react right away, still trying to process all of the things you had just said. After a few seconds you relax and begin to kiss back, your lips moving in sync. You pull away, both unable to do anything but look at eachother. 

“I love you.” Donghyuck finally broke the silence. “And not like an innocent, friendly, “I love you”, like I am in love with you.” Your eyes go wide as you register his words. 

“I love you, too” You reply without realizing it. 

[the---hermit]

13|04|2023

First day back to class, again. It was not the best start, I have a three hour lecture which is already pretty hardcore, and as if it wasn't enough the classroom we have it in is one of those theater-like rooms, with way too comfortable chairs and almost non existent tables. It's a bit of a struggle to take notes not gonna lie, but at least the chairs are really comfortable. I underestimated how tiring it would be with the commuting and when I got home I had zero energies left to study a bit more, thankfully I reviewd some notes on my commute in the morning. I think that my new routine will be way less productive than in the last semester. I will have enough time to studying on the monday to wednesday mornings before i commute of my afternoon lecture, but other than that I am pretty sure my only other extra studying hours will be on saturday. I don't know how I feel about this yet to be honest. At the moment I am trying to focus on the exam I have on Wednesday and then I'll see after that. I must admit I am not feeling the best feelings towards this new start. I don't know if it's the fact that I didn't really had time to take a break from studying, but when I was commuting back home I couldn't help but feel quite unmotivated. I hope my new class on monday will make me a bit more enthusiastic about uni again, because I don't like to feel like it's a burden, I want to enjoy this as much as I can.

Productivity:

reviewd my part of my protohistory key words

3h protohistory lecture

practiced Irish on duolingo

wrote down some recipes for friends

got more reading done than I was expecting

Self care:

read first thing in the morning

allowed myself not to studying when I got home since I was so tired

📖:The Priory Of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon, The Lottery (penguin clothboud edition which has many short stories in it) by Shirley Jackson

[stillalittlelostngl]

Chiloé

A butterfly flaps it’s wings in the west and a storm begins brewing in the east.

Your story is different this time around. There was no curse that attacked you as a child and no sorcerer that ever came to you rescue. There was only a lonely girl who’d been told all her life that the monsters she sees are just the result of a child’s mind trying to make sense of what it saw during a civil war. It’s a story that never added up in your mind - the puzzle pieces of information never quite aligning with what you knew to be true.

It wasn’t until you met the leader of the Star Religious Group that the pieces of your story actually began to fit into place but you find that you’re left with more questions than when you started.

(Can be read with or without reading the original original work that this branches off of )

It was around 1:43AM when you began to question what exactly it was that made you agree to a late night work sesh in the campus library.

It wasn’t your usual scene - you preferred to work out of the student center or one of the small cafes near campus. Someplace bustling with life as opposed to the haunted house that the library turned into during exams week. Students looking like corpses wandered the halls and large shadows tended to trail not too far behind them. By this point you knew where the twisted forms tended to congregate so you struck a deal that if you had to study in the library it would be in the reserved room in the archive space that most students never had to go near and you made sure your setup was facing away from the door so you didn’t have to see the figures should they happen to pass by it’s small window.

You’d grown used to having to take such measures to ensure your mind wouldn’t be pushed to the edge and you’d finally snap like your mother feared (though she’d never voice as much). Unfortunately, if it wasn’t the haunting forms that drove you crazy, the low hum of the fluorescent ceiling lights and the rhythmic tapping of Hisoka’s perfectly manicured nails across her keyboard would.

You spared a glance towards the source of your torment. Of course she was still diligently working away at her own midterm paper. You’re certain her eyes hadn’t left that computer screen since the two of you got set up in the space four hours ago. Your professors had been praising her since freshman year for being a hardworking scholar and it was never unwarranted.

You weren’t a slacker yourself, you just preferred a work-life balance that accounted for a full 8 hours of sleep.

You could practically feel your eyes glaze over as you stared back at your laptop, trying to will your sleep deprived mind to make any sense of the article on screen. Unfortunately, zero synapses were firing at the moment.

You couldn’t help the small off of a sigh that escaped your lips as you leaned back into the miserably uncomfortable chair (honestly with how much y’all pay in tuition there was no reason for them to be cheap with anything, especially seating) and you debated if it would be rude to cut the joint session early and head back to your shared apartment. It was late. Way too late to be thinking on the philosophical implications of aesthetics and morality and you’d be absolutely useless for any type of studying tomorrow if you didn’t leave soon.

Your eyes move back over to where Hisoka is sitting, prepared to give her the bad news of her study buddy’s departure.

“I take it you’re finished with pretending to be productive?” she questions, a slight quirk to her lips as her eyes never leave her work.

You suck your teeth at the question but can’t stop the smile at having been so obvious. You’d done this song and dance with her for several midterm weeks now, she probably knew you were ready to go long before you did.

“I wasn’t pretending,” at least not for the first hour and a half. In your humble opinion you made very decent headway into your paper and got more than enough work done for one day.

That pulled her gray eyes away from the screen as she meets you with an incredulous look you’ve grown all too familiar with, “I could see you watching a movie in the reflection.”

You follow where her finger points to the small window of the room’s door and sure enough, your laptop display is reflecting in a crisp reflection back at you.

“It wasn’t a long one”

“I’m sure,” she said with a small laugh as she closed her laptop, “let’s get going then.”

You gave a quick and silent prayer in thanks to whatever god would listen as you eagerly followed her lead and packed up.

The two of you couldn’t get out of the place fast enough for you. Being in the library during midterms and finals week truly made your skin crawl to no end.

Once outside, and free of the horrors the library housed you stretched your arms above your head and inhaled the cool spring air. The nights were still cool but spring would quickly turn to summer soon enough and you’d be that much closer to graduation. While you were excited with everything that would come with being done with school and getting your degree, a small part of you didn’t want to believe that the world you’d built for yourself over the past few years would be gone - practically overnight.

It was a miserable thought on an otherwise beautiful night.

The groundskeepers always made sure that the campus looked beautiful and despite how exhausted you were you were halfway tempted to make a detour to appreciate their hard work.

“My mom’s excited for your visit,” Hisoka said, her voice breaking the comfortable silence as the two of you made your way home, “she loves having guests over so apologies if she goes a bit,” she trailed off as she gave a noncommittal wave of her hand. It’s a habit she picked up from you early into meeting that her mother hates. At least she that’s what Hisoka reported back to you the first day back from spring break freshman year, “you know”

And you do know. You imagine it’ll be a similar reaction to your own mother’s when Hisoka first visited your home a few summers ago. Overbearing, but in the endearing way that only a mother could be.

“Nah, it’ll be all good. I’m excited too,” Hisoka had been asking you for ages to go back with her to Japan one of these days and you’d finally saved up enough money from your part time job to justify such an expensive trip. You’d been a bit nervous when first discussing it, you’d never been abroad before - or rather, you hadn’t been abroad since you were a kid. (You supposed on a technicality you were currently abroad as part of your country’s refugee diaspora but it’s not quite the same)

Being so far from home in an unfamiliar place was a bit nerve wracking but as the days got closer to spring break you found that the trip served as your light at the end of the tunnel. The nervous twisting in the pit of your stomach had nearly been completely forgotten at this point.

“One of the days we’re there we should visit the temple. We can give you a tour - the grounds are really big and have the most beautiful gardens. You’ll love them.”

It’s an offhand comment but you feel your smile strain a bit.

She’d spoken about the temple and her religion a few times over the course of your friendship. From what you understood it was some branch of Buddhism that involved astral mysticism. To what extent exactly or what their actual teachings were, you weren’t too sure. She’d never really gone into depth about it and the information is nowhere to be found online or in any book. Apparently they didn’t want outsiders to have access to the information? Hisoka had explained it when you first brought it up to her and you’d assumed it was a closed religion so you didn’t imagine they’d take too kindly to a foreigner walking around their place of worship.

“You sure that would be fine? Ion want anyone mad I’m in their business or nothin.” You weren’t really the religious type either so you imagine that wouldn’t help with things. You had to take a few theology and world religion courses as part of your required classes so Buddhist practices weren’t entirely new to you but with most different sects of any religion there’s fifty-level different rules that breaking would cause great offense to those who practice. A part of you worried about doing or saying the wrong thing that would result in Hisoka and her family being unable to show their face around the temple ever again.

You couldn’t help the way your face scrunches up in indignation when she had the audacity to chuckle at your genuine concern.

“Nobody’s going to care - there’s visitors coming and going all the time,” she reassured after regaining her composure, “Mom can give you the same history lesson of the grounds and the practice that she gives all the other visitors too.”

“History lesson?” your face fell, the idea sounding entirely unappealing, “Ain’t the whole point of spring break to celebrate being done with learning?” any other time the prospect probably would’ve been interesting but your professors had been putting you through it this semester. You’d really been looking forward to giving yourself some kind of break. You were starting to get that weird static-y fuzzy feeling like how a TV looks when it has no transmission signal , “After Friday I’m avoiding education of any sort till finals roll around.”

“Funny, I thought you did plenty of that during this semester.”

You roll your eyes and playfully knock your shoulder into hers - an action that earns you an affronted ‘hey’ in return that you pointedly ignore. She’d been haggling you this year about your apparent development of senioritis. Unfortunately there was no cure but you found most of your classes fairly easy regardless. She seemed to forget that her coursework and yours were distinctly different and playing in hypotheticals and theorizing came much more easily to you than dealing in absolutes.

Maybe it said more about you than the university’s standards, but bullshiting your way through a class when all you had to do was justify it with a convincing enough argument meant that you had much more free time to do with as you pleased.

“C’mon, it’s not like you’re going to be quizzed after. Besides, it would really mean a lot to my mom,” it meaning a lot to her too but what’s understood doesn’t need to be explained.

A heavy weight settles in your chest at her words and how her gray eyes bore into yours, pleading and hopeful as she tries to convince you to let her share this part of her life with you. It’s such a simple request from a friend and so in the end, you agree.

In the future you’d find yourself reflecting on this moment. Insignificant as it was when you said the words, they’d come to shape the course of your life and reality as you knew it. It’s almost funny how such simple shifts in course and paths to revelation begin with such mundane pretenses.

You agreed because Hisoka Nomura is a good friend and those were rather hard to come by for you. Or at least it had been when you were younger.

Growing up, others always knew there was something a bit off about you. You didn’t have to tell them about the creature’s you saw or the vibrating pulse of something under your skin when you were stressed for them to know you weren’t ‘normal'. You can’t recall ever feeling normal either. You were a foreigner in every place you’d ever known in the most extraterrestrial of ways.

Only, unfortunately for you, you had more of a Killer Klowns from Outer Space vibe goin for you as opposed to something like the existential beauty and unknown nature of the cosmos.

You were The Thing from another world. An alien that adapted by hiding yourself inside imitations of humanity. You’d learned early on that without adapting and changing, others could sniff out the peculiar scent of you. It was almost an instinctual knowing that something different shared their space.

When you were young, the forms you’d take to blend in were nothing but haphazard biomass stitched together with the remains of half-remembers parts of a part. Over the years you’d perfected the image with every action (or inaction) until those around you couldn’t see just how different you truly were.

Sometimes, though, you’d be discovered.

(Your eyes would be drawn to an unoccupied corner of the room. They’d watch as your pupils dilated and your breath caught in your throat in a choked noise at the sight of the empty space. Their own face would contort; disgust evident as they’d ask if you were okay. What you would give to be able to show them the twisted sight of the creature that was too revolting for you to ignore.)

They’d think you ‘sick’ or ‘weird’ and distance themselves.

It was different with Hisoka though. Or rather, Hisoka was what was different.

Your form never caused her face to twist into something foul when you slipped up. She’d never judged you for the images your mind created or the odd eccentricities you developed to cope with them. To be seen as you were, even partially or in small moments, and not be turned away was something you’d convinced yourself for so long would be impossible.

She was a very good friend, better than any you’d come to know, and now she was asking this one small favor of you.

What an awful thing it would be to turn her down.

_________

during the week of important exams curses were damn near lining every inch of the library so you tried to avoid it but if your close friend begged you to go with and you couldn’t think of some reasonable excuse to get out of it you’d agree. Your classmates just thought you had a hard time with silence or something 

You actively avoided going into hard science majors because those kids were downright miserable and the amount of cursed spirits on their side of campus and in their lecture halls were proof enough of it

You don’t dislike education or devalue it, you just chose coursework that was better suited to your strengths so you never had to push yourself with very many all nighters or stressed out studying 

You also took classes that would be harder for you freshman year because you’re pretty self aware and knew by the time you get close to the finish line you’d be burnt out 

Hisoka taught you Japanese - you’re still learning but close to fluent-ish

Her version of teaching you was basically just having all the media & convo in the apartment be Japanese until you picked it up. She doesn’t have much patience to do it in an instructional way  

In my mind cursed energy can kind of be felt by every living thing and it’s a distinct thing that even those without it can pick up on. Like smelling rain before it storms. When regular degular folks encounter cursed users they can pick up on the excess (to them) energy someone possesses. In most countries folks tend to write it off but reader grew up around a lot of superstitious folks so they zeroed in on the difference and her childhood was kinda spent dealing with the effects of that (kinda like how Mimiko and Nanako were zeroed out as being different to the villagers of their home but reader didn’t experience that level of physical abuse for it. It was more of a social ostracism type thing that happened during a developmentally significant part of her life so she carries that with her and is a bit too defensive cuz of it)

[hyungseos-cafe]

the letterbox series ; chapter zero - the beginning

genre: time travel au, fluff, angst

warning: mentions of death

word count: 685

a/n: welcome to the first installment of the letterbox series! this is actually a rewrite from my previous blog, so if you've seen this before... no you didn't ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡) 

taglist: @deoboyznet @winterchimez @mars101 @cloverdaisies @uwu0clock

series masterlist

Time travelers, you only hear about them in books and movies, right? Well, let me see if I can change your mind. My grandfather, a time traveler and an avid mechanic who worked on the side as a product developer. However, all this stopped when his wife passed due to an unknown disease early into their marriage. 

His world suddenly crumbled and in his manic state, he decided to spend the rest of his life building a machine to travel back in time to relive the moments they shared together over and over again. 

I never got to meet my grandmother, but that never stopped my grandfather from telling me all about her. Grandmother was a true dreamer; someone who always saw the best in people and never gave up. She worked as a mechanic as well, so that was how they met. 

It was the summer right before his 16th birthday where grandfather got his first job at the local mechanics shop downtown. His uncle needed some extra hands, so he recruited him saying how he would be able to do the “dirty work” he so desired for. 

While on a particularly busy day at the auto shop, his uncle calls for backup aka my grandmother. She was the talk of the town; young, drop dead gorgeous, smart and a fast learner. As soon as she stepped foot in the shop, it was as if the heavens opened up and the heavenly choirs above began singing. 

Grandfather told me of how awestruck he was that he dropped his tools all over the ground leading everyone to stare at him as he sheepishly began picking up his tools. His coworkers were at a standstill, but luckily, well maybe not, grandmother took it upon herself to help the visibly flustered man. 

Countless hours of hard work and elbow grease later, he eventually made his way into university, studying as an engineer specializing in automotives. While in university, he discovered that my grandmother was admitted in the same program, but specializing in product design. The two shared the stress and anxiety of exams while simultaneously building upon their undeniable connection. 

My grandfather finally grew the courage to ask her out after their second year of university. They were known around campus as the power couple, everyone wanted to be them, while also rooting for their relationship. 

Flash forward two years later, the couple graduated with degrees in engineering. It was then that grandfather finally proposed to her. He was nervous she would reject him, so he made sure to wear his lucky watch. Thankfully, she said yes and the couple was married by the same fall. 

Now getting into why my grandfather decided to time travel, it was often a touchy subject for him, but one nonetheless he cherished. Grandmother grew ill in their second year of marriage and passed the same year. I had never known my grandfather be depressed, he was always cheery according to my mother. 

He decided to quit his job to devote his time to building what I know now was a time machine. He spent years studying quantum physics and the concept of time travel. Grandfather, once being the talk of campus, was now the talk of the town– but not in a positive light. 

He was often criticized for wanting to bring back old memories, people would tell him how insane he sounded and how he was nothing more than just a lunatic, but he never gave up. Using his engineering background, he traveled great lengths to acquire rare materials. 

6 years had now passed and many failed creations later, the perfect machine was developed. Unfortunately my grandfather could not return, being stuck in the same timeline as when he first met my grandmother. Before he left, he wrote a letter to my mother. He said to never forget where you came from and to travel wherever your heart takes you. He signed off his letter by telling us to not worry about him, that he would be spending the rest of his life with the love of his life.

[hugsnkisses-xxx]

Hi everyone!

This is my very first post on Tumblr, I have zero experience with tumblr, and though I've been lurking for a week or two now, I'm still trying to figure it all out. I came here as a Quotev refugee and I plan to stick around. I'm not entirely new to blogging, as I do also have a Dreamwidth (which I mostly ignore, but still).

Anyway, for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Caoimhe and I am 18 years old (19 on 10th July) and I was born in Belfast (hear the shotgun shell blast), Northern Ireland, where I still live now. I just finished my A-levels (woohoo!) in history, law, and government & politics and I think I did fairly well, especially considering it has been a whirlwind of a year, and I am still not sure how to feel about it all.

I lost my twin sister, Aoife, to cancer last summer and it still feels surreal to even write these words, even though it has been almost a year now. A year without my best friend, a year without my other half. Some days it feels like just yesterday we were laughing and planning our futures together, and other days it feels like a lifetime ago. Man, we used to do everything together. Now there’s just this gaping hole, everything just seems a bit dull, a bit off, and I doubt that will ever wear off. I doubt things will ever go back to normal.

Now that I have finished my exams, that hole just seems to have grown bigger. See, after she passed, it was easy to force myself back to school, to focus on studying, to focus on dealing with my parents and siblings back at home, to figure out what life would be. But now I have nothing to focus on. My mother, who used to need care (she has early-onset Alzheimer's) has been moved to a care home. My nephew who lives with us has cerebral palsy but he has started this new intervention programme and is out of the house for hours on end with his mum/my older sister. I have two younger brothers who are old enough to care for themselves and reject my attention whenever I do try to give it to them, and a father who genuinely wishes I was the one who died instead (so I don't bother with him).

So I have nothing to take my mind off the matter aside from just sitting here, hoping to catch something that holds my interest. I type this all out because it is therapeutic in a way, but also because Aoife used to dream of having a blog, posting about her life, posting about Belfast and the politics that come into it, posting about her great love (cats) and anything else that came onto her path. She asked me to blog with her not long after she started one and we tried to share a blog. It was over on Dreamwidth. I wasn’t that into it at the time and I feel bad about that now, because I think we could have been a great team had I put in the effort. I suppose my continuing to blog is a way to make it up to her. To cope with my own grief, to keep the memory of her alive, and to somehow find a new purpose in life. I think she would have been so proud. She always believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself (which was quite often, actually. It still is. She was always the star of the show and whilst I never really resented her for it, I did feel jealous from time to time when it came to the attention she was given compared to the attention I was given).

To anyone reading this who’s also struggling with loss, know that it’s okay to not be okay (and I know that phrase has been repeated so often it has lost its meaning, but know that doesn’t make it any less true). It’s okay to take things one day at a time. It’s okay to lean on friends and family. It’s okay to seek out help when you need it. Grief isn’t something you get over; it’s something you learn to live with, and we all learn at our own pace.

My blog isn’t all depressing posts about how I lost my twin, though. I don’t want it to be. I don’t think Aoife would have wanted that, either. I will also be posting about other things that keep me occupied, such as my job - as you might know, I'm working at a political tourist shop, which basically means I sell over-priced flags and shirts with Bobby Sands' face on them to dumb tourists who have no idea what they're buying but buy it anyway. One of my favourite things to do is talk to tourists about the significance of what they're buying, or especially, the connotations the items or slogans have. Many visitors come with a... vague understanding of our history, at best, and although I am no expert, I like to give them just a little bit of insight. I feel like it is essential to pass on the basics to people who come to visit, if not for them, then for us, so they don't go on to spout nonsense and give others the wrong idea about this wee country. Because Belfast really isn't as bad as the past may have you think. We have our issues, it's true, but what country doesn’t? We're trying our best. It's not as if we are killing each other on the streets (not anymore).

I think my favourite part of the job is getting to meet people from all over the world. Like, just the other day, I had a lovely conversation with a couple from Spain who had stopped by to get some information on the murals they saw outside. They hadn't booked a tour but hoped some of us could give them more information. I told them about the murals, I told them about the Peace Lines, I told them to meet me after my shift and they did, and I showed them the 45-foot high wall on Cupar Way. It's a bit of a tourist attraction yet does still serve a purpose. I live near it. I know the safety it offers. They were really very respectful about it all and it's encounters such as this one that warm me up to tourists as a whole. Of course there’s the rotten apples (I remember a German family git quite pissed about me not giving them a discount for stupid reasons, for example), but you have those in every group of people.

I guess I just like sharing about this wee city I'm from, haha. I'm proud of how far we've come but I also recognise we have a long way to go still. Yeah, what i like about my job is that it’s not just about selling things; it’s about sharing a piece of where I come from and what we’ve been through. It’s a reminder that despite our past, Belfast is a place of resilience and hope.

Now, that was a little heavy, haha. I also enjoy listening to folk music and I love animals of all kinds. Despite all of the above, I'm not a very political person - I'm mostly interested in how the past shapes our future and politics obviously plays a role in this, but in a more broad way. I'm not one to criticise someone for holding different beliefs to myself. I think that's just plain wrong. I like casual conversations and making the most of life. I mean, the biggest, heaviest thing weighing on my mind right now is if I go on to university or if I'll be taking a gap year (or several?) to get some money in, because we're not exactly rich. Maybe I won't even go on to university at all. Who knows. Certainly not me. ;)

That's just a bit what this blog is about, or what it will be about. I hope to see you around sometime!

[tetsunabouquet]

If you're still taking request can you please do an academic rivals to lovers au/hc with Ichiru with a bit of nsfw please?

I think with Ichiru being the more witty sibling who definitely would've been more of the "brains" between the pair had he been allowed to properly developed his skills he'd definitely thrive in an academia setting.

-You and Ichiru have been rivals since middle school. -It was elementary graduation where it slowly was becoming apparant he was surpassing Zero at certain academic qualities. He was practically glowing with pride at beating his older twin when you showed up in his life. -The two of you being on the debating team gave Ichiru the chance to argue with you on academic topics as he pleased. -Other students where quite terrified and awestruck at the same time. The two of you would jab at each other about the topics at hand with such eloquent yet brutal comments that it seemed like the two of you were trying to eat each other alive. The two of you were the stars of the debating team, that's for sure. -This is also when the seeds of sexual tension slowly started to develop. -Ichiru, by his second year in middle school, had began to notice the feral look in your pretty eyes as you ranted at him which surprisingly was attractive to him, the way your hair shook around your shoulders as you berated his stance. -The straw that broke the camel's back was surprisingly Zero. When Ichiru ranted about you when the two of them were at home alone and he felt free to curse you, Zero pointed out you were 'developping quite a nice chest though' which prompted Ichiru to think of you through he lense of a teenage boy. He couldn't go back after that. -You two got together in your first year of high school. After harboring a secret crush on you for over a year, he was wearing thin. When you were about to sign yourself up for the debate team once more at the same time Ichiru also did, one heated conversation turnt into Ichiru crashing a kiss upon your lips. -After processing that your rival had the hots for you for a minute, you asked him for his number and everything else was history. -The two of you often disappear in corners of the library for heated make-out sessions. -This will slowly develop into somewhat of a kink for Ichiru. -However, Ichiru is a gentleman enough at heart not to pressure you into doing anything sexual, plus he doesn't wants to go too far and risk suspension. -By the time the two of you picked out a college, this attitude of his relaxes though as college students are meant to be wild, or so the two of you excuse our actions with that mindset. -Though that doesn't means you don't have actual serious study sessions though. No, the both of you are too proud of your grades to have them drop. -Ichiru thinks the way you color-code your notes is absolutely adorable. -The two of you have created short songs with mnemonic purposes to help memorize some of the study material and people can find the two of you singing ones before upcoming tests as you walk hand in hand in the hallway. Zero finds the two of you adorable which only flusters Ichiru and gives you something to tease him about. -When the romantic/sexual tension isn't overtly present, Zero upon occasion joins your study sessions and acts like the big brother you've never had. -The three of you also celebrate each good exam scores with each other, like buying ice cream together. Zero never minds being the third wheel as he honestly adores you as a sister figure and Ichiru wanting to be romantic means he always pays for everything (Zero can be sneaky sometimes too). -You find school to honestly be very much fun as long as you have Ichiru by your side.

[supermarine-silvally]

hey!! oc bingo buddy! uh! oc bingo questions time B) From me @mshrom

1) Does Iryna have a favorite teacher at UA? A mentor even?

2) What did Iryna first think of everyone in her class? Good first impressions? Bad first impressions?

3) What are her favorite subjects in school?

4) Did she always want to be a hero or did she grow up with other ambitions?

5) What’s her family like?

hiiiii omg these are great questions!!! I'll literally jump on any chance to talk about Miss Iryna Oleksandrivna Kovalenko heheh answers below the cut!

1) Does Iryna have a favorite teacher at UA? A mentor even?

Her favourite teacher is definitely All Might. She was absolutely starstruck the first time she saw him in person and could barely get a coherent sentence out (but after having dealt with Izuku for over a year at this point he’s probably used to that hahaha). She’s also very fond of her homeroom teacher, Thirteen.

She does indeed also have a mentor— The year she entered UA was the year after the canon protagonists did (she’s a year younger), and at that point, in my canon, the UA staff decided to try something a little different and put together a mentorship program for the first- and second-year students. Each of the canon protagonists (who had now moved up to 2-A) was assigned to mentor one of the incoming first-years (my batch of 20 OCs, Iryna included) based on quirk similarity and personal compatibility, and the teams of two would end up competing in what became essentially a doubles tournament for the Sports Festival.

Poor Iryna got stuck with the demon coach from hell— Bakugou Katsuki himself. (He actually ends up being a really good mentor, though).

2) What did Iryna first think of everyone in her class? Good first impressions? Bad first impressions?

(I should quickly specify that all of her classmates are other OCs!) She was so nervous at first that she mostly worried about what THEY thought of HER, especially being not just foreign, but the first student from Eastern Europe that the school’s ever had. Most of them left good first impressions, though. She recognized Monoma Nagito (Neito’s brother) and Iida Tenshi (Tenya’s cousin) from the entrance exam, and they quickly became her closest friends in the class, but she soon befriended the others as well. I think her only classmate that she isn’t always too fond of is Atsushi Ren, who is kind of known to be a bit of a braggart and a loudmouth and she sometimes just wants to tell him to shut the hell up lol

The main person she met at UA whom she had a TERRIBLE first impression of was Bakugou haha when they were first paired together for the mentorship program, he acted like she was the most annoying pest of all time and some kind of cosmic punishment designed to torment him specifically, and she thought he was the world’s biggest asshole and also wanted nothing to do with him (she legit haaaaated this dude so much, it's so funny to go back and read earlier chapters of Ground Zero when they were very much not getting along lol). But they eventually worked it out and became very fond of each other :)

3) What are her favorite subjects in school?

Hero Studies will always be her number 1 class, she love love looooooooves it! Whether it’s rescue/disaster training, developing her quirk/ultimate moves, or just general sparring with her classmates, she’s all over it. Outside of hero-related coursework, she’s pretty good at Chemistry and Physics (but hates Biology with a burning passion) and is decent at math, too. She tends to do well at science-y stuff, the Biology hatred is more over having to memorize terms and always getting them mixed up, especially since she’s trying to learn them in her second language.

4) Did she always want to be a hero or did she grow up with other ambitions?

She definitely always knew she wanted to be a Pro Hero! Hero culture in Ukraine is quite different and a lot more low-key than in Japan, but she grew up watching the few Ukrainian Pro Heroes that were around as well as Japanese and American and other Western heroes on TV and wanted to be just like them— especially All Might, because he was the strongest and the best, but more importantly, because he kept the peace, and that was something she desperately hopes to emulate. When her quirk manifested, she realized she had the potential to be just like him if she worked and studied hard, and as such set her sights on attending the same prestigious hero academy her mother once did.

5) What’s her family like?

Her family is very close! She currently lives (while not attending UA) in the small town of Letychiv with her father, Oleksandr (Sasha), her younger brother, Mykyta, and her grandmother, Stanislava, as well as the family’s pet chickens. Iryna is extremely protective of Mykyta, since he’s six years younger and also quirkless, and would literally do anything for him. Her father and grandmother are super supportive of her having moved to Japan temporarily to attend UA, and she frequently chats with them over video call. She misses them a lot, despite the exciting life she has in Japan.

Iryna’s mother, Reina, is another story. When Iryna was only eight, her mother went back to Japan on what was supposed to be a quick trip, and never returned. No one knows what happened to her, either— not the Japanese police who investigated the incident, nor any Pro Heroes (including All Might) who took on the case, nor Iryna’s family in general. It was like she simply vanished into thin air, leaving no trace behind. Iryna’s grandmother is certain that Reina left and abandoned her partner and children, but Iryna isn’t so sure. Part of the reason behind her relocation to Japan to attend UA is to see if she can pick up the trail and finally learn what truly happened to Igarashi Reina seven years earlier.

tysm for the questions, they were so much fun to answer!! :D

[querenciaofmelancholy]

Summer of 2023

This summer I assigned myself a task. A task of 'finding myself'. I recently shifted to a new school and found few academic rivals. And, it's a huge setback because I used to be quite good in my previous school. I want to become the headgirl but i don't think that's possible. So to brace myself from the fall, I decided to find myself this summer and explore what my personality is and how I am different from others. I didn't really come up with answers, but i took first steps to getting my life together and i am very proud of myself. Even if the productivity levels seems zero it's massive for me. And maybe, I did discover something about myself. I love being the mother figure in people's life. Because people are fragile and oh god it's just so lovely to piece back your delicate parts together and provide you comfort. I try new things and fail in them desperately but guess what, I don't give up. I don't let myself give up on myself and I think that's just great. I also did some study in the holidays and I am proud from not picking up the books before exam to at least trying to maintain a schedule.I decided my few career choices and even though progress in that front has been slow i think i can make it work I discovered that I actually don't like to be on social media. it leads to me comparing myself to others and that's just shitty so i stopped. and no it's not backing away it's me living a cillian murphy life. and i think that's just beautiful. ofcourse i cant just back away from all tech because sadly it's something my generations comes with, but in areas i can, i will. And this is what i am. I am a dark academia obsessed girl who tries different things but always finds time for her fun and has a slobbish schedule she's trying to get together and she loves her family and her few close friends and what she is today. Even though the above mentioned characteristics might be in every girl out there, i am me. I don't have to be special for myself. I am myself. jesus do i make sense. i am a girl awake at 1:40 am thinking why i wrote 1:40 when it's 1:39 (it's 1:41 now) who's supposed to be studying for her school tomorrow and go shave her legs later. Also a girl who rants about these things on tumblr and someone who's pretty much still in the delusion that she will meet her love one day but secretly doesn't want to. I am not her. I am not and no matter how many years it takes me to make me feel like i am enough for myself, i will keep trying. I am a double personality girl (i even got names for them). these two personalities however diff care for each other and save each other from each other and everyone else. And hey if that girl who's fit for being the headgirl has the same thoughts, is doing the same thing- writing posts on tumblr, if every girl is better, every person hates me, i am just a burden on everyone, I will still try to love myself and even if i keep on trying and never get to really love myself, that will be my love, that persistence is my love. This has been good. Thankyou, bye. Time to study and get bad sleep again.

[amypihcs]

Ho postato 433 volte nel 2022

Sono 296 post in più del 2021!

19 post creati (4%)

414 post rebloggati (96%)

Blog che ho rebloggato di più:

@pizza-hats-of-the-world-1882

@usergreenpixel

@enigma-the-mysterious

@tairin

@kaxen

Ho taggato 273 dei miei post nel 2022

Solo 37% dei miei post non aveva tag

#joachim murat - 14 post

#awsome - 8 post

#so cute - 7 post

#the three musketeers - 6 post

#love this - 6 post

#awsome art - 5 post

#raoul - 5 post

#fantastic - 5 post

#i mean - 4 post

#the boys - 4 post

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#napoleon's abusiveness showing in how many people of his higher rank sent him to go fuck himself

I miei post migliori nel 2022:

#5

AAAAND another one of my mad AUs

Music? On and rocking Courage? Mustered Dignity? Already waved her goodbye OK i’m ready. Apparently summer, having to study for exams i dislike and most of all reading nice books that send me in hyperfixation with the characters give me IDEAS™. After some time spent convincing myself to do it i’ve finally read The Three Musketeers and having loved it to FOLLY, i CLEARLY devoured also Twenty Years After and started the Viscount  of Bragelonne (Athos, i love you, but we’re not talking of you, forgive me my man). This new obsession tonight coupled with my ever present love for LOTR and Silm and since APPARENTLY heat goes up to my head, i thought:

Ok, here we have Aramis, ridiculously always good looking, even at like... 20 years from the first time we meet him he is THE SAME AS ALWAYS and in the Viscount for the little i know for now he didn’t age much either, Devilishly good with horses AND swords (eggrazziearcazzo, you may say, he’s a MUSKETEER) with almost ZERO impulse control (Athos works as impulse control for them, actually) but GREAT cold blood, can apparently sing quite well, some disregard for rules and some great agility and effort in actually always managing to break one of two of those and... oh look, all the boxes check and hear me out. Aramis. Being. MAGLOR FEANORION!!  I talked about this with my darling @tairin, my nice sis who i love and thank very much for being always there to hear me rambling about my obsessions and not having killed me yet. And she is even more of a genius than i suspected! (@joachimnapoleon​ please don’t kill us) She made me give a second check to who ELSE checked all the boxes and here, the illumination.  Good looking Incredible with horses Apparently skilled in verses/songs Devilish with a sword some disregard for rules NOT imposed by himself Joachim Murat. Being Maglor Feanorion.

Tolkien fandom out here (@thiswaycomessomethingwicked​ i get you’re one of us?) tell me if maglor wouldn’t have a portrait of himself like this one of our darling jojo, c’mon! He checks out also the diva personality!! 

Anyway, this was my new silly AU, don’t kill me please, i still have to pass biochemistry and see confirmed my credits for cmcf, i’m too young to die and my cats would miss me😂  I hope you at least laughed a bit form this one silly thing.

12 note - Postate 15 giugno 2022

#4

Happy death day Naps!

Wandering around facebook i found this nice Dumas quote

Do not be deceived, today I am doing better; but I feel the same that the end is approaching. When I am dead, each of you will have the sweet consolation of returning to Europe: you will see one another’s relatives, the other’s friends. As for me, I will see my good ones in heaven...Yes, yes - he added, animating and raising his voice with an inspired accent - yes, Kleber, Dessaix, Bessières, Duroc, Ney, Murat, Massena, Berthier will come to meet me, they will tell me about what we did together, and I will tell the last events of my life: Seeing me again, everyone will go crazy with enthusiasm and glory. We will talk about our wars with Scipio, with Caesar, with Hannibal, and it will be a pleasure... Unless - he added, smiling - they are afraid to see many warriors gathered up there. - A. Dumas, Napoleone.

Just to wish him a happy death-day

12 note - Postate 5 maggio 2022

#3

Guys i just needed to vent out a bit. We can’t find my cat. we looked into the house, outside, all over the sort-of-village where i live (i live in the country) and we can’t find it. Does any of you have an idea of why a cat can be disappeared in such a way? I just know that a moment she was inside and the other she was nowhere to be seen. I just needed to vent out a bit ‘cause i think i’m panicking just as much as before when we where actively looking for her. Do you have any idea of why a cat can just... fly and boh... i don’t even know if she actually is outside the house, even if i looked everywhere in. She’s injured under her neck, she had a dermatitis that we can’t manage to heal, even if she is way better than some months ago. sorry, just some venting out i don’t know how to cope with this

14 note - Postate 3 febbraio 2022

#2

Excerpt from ‘Gioacchino Murat e l’Italia meridionale’ -- presentation of the King

Sooo guys. Some time ago i got a book, ‘Gioacchino Murat e l’Italia meridionale’ which was introduced to me by @joachimnapoleon and after reading it I thought of making a post about it. Hope you will enjoy it!

So let’s get started! In the third part of the book we have a focus on the people who actually governed Naples, starting with the King and the Queen and proceeding with the ministers, describing how their personalities fitted in their roles and how they actually got their work done; this post will be about our favourite King of Naples, Joachim Murat. (the mistakes in the translation are entirely mine)

Here the original text in italian

Guarda il post completo

18 note - Postate 14 maggio 2022

Il mio post numero 1 del 2022

Just arrived!! I'm looking forward to reading it! I'm sure it will be epic!

28 note - Postate 26 novembre 2022

Guarda ora l'Analisi del tuo anno 2022 di Tumblr →

[dodger-chan]

Good afternoon, class, and welcome to Mathmatics for Magicians. As today is your first class, I’d like to spend a little time going over the syllabus.

Now, this is a general introductory course for all Magic students, so it’s more of an overview of the basics than anything in depth. We do offer more advanced courses of all of these topics for specialists, though they are open to any student who finds them interesting. This semester we will begin with Algebra and Trigonometry before-

Yes?

Well, algebra is a core skill for Alchemy. You can’t calculate equivalent exchange if you can’t balance an equation.

After Trigonometry there is a brief unit on Geometry-

Really?

Astrological divination is built on Trigonometry. You cannot learn anything from a person’s birth chart without a solid grounding in Trig.

Don’t worry. There are plenty of word problems which will illustrate the magical applications quite nicely. 

Where was I? Right. After Geometry, there’ll be a unit on logic and proof construction. You’ll like that one; no numbers. And, time permitting, we’ll finish out the year with an introduction to statistics.

Yes?

Yes, I am aware of computer homunculi; they crunch numbers beautifully. But they can only work with the data they are given and if you input the star positions incorrectly - something that is very easy to do if you misread the angle of incidence as the angle of refraction - you will get nonsense answers. And you need to be able to tell when your homunculus is spitting out gibberish.

Oh, will I allow you to use calculators? The Alchemy department does lend out miniture homonuculi that do basic arithmatic and fit nicely on classroom desks. Those will be permitted. The more advanced homonculi - well, I can’t stop you from using them on your homework, but you aren’t going to have one for your exams, so use them with caution.

Homework assignments are printed at the end of the syllabus. They are due weekly and worth twenty-five percent of your grade.

Is the homework required? Well, do you think you can pass the class while getting a zero on one quater of the graded material?

Listen, I know none of you chose to study Magic with Mathematics in mind. You want to brew potions, throw fireballs, teleport, and other fun things you’ve read about Magicians doing in those fantasy novels you all read as children. And you will. Math lets you scale potions up and down to customize them to the size of the person making them. Math is how you make sure those fireballs hit your enemies, instead of falling short and frying your allies. Without math, your telepotation runs the risk of leaving you half inside a rock. I guarantee you, whatever field of Magic you choose to focus on, what you learn in this class will be part of the bedrock that makes it possible.

Unless you go into Numerology. Then you’ll need Abstract Algebra, Number Theory, and Combinatorics at minimum.

You teach at a magic school, but you do not teach any magic. In fact, you are not even a mage. Yet your classes are among the few that every student has to take, no matter what kind of magic they are studying.

[sambuuck]

some funky meta about arvell // shabbatshipping

i think with this ship its easy to think opposites attract, the prissy headmaster and the ragamuffin student, but clavell and arven are so incredibly similar in many respects

like, arven at his core is a good boy. yes he can be prickly and sometimes he is very much “my way or the highway”, but he has a big heart. he cares so much about his friends, about mabostiff, and is incredibly protective and caring. he’s also incredibly curious and practical, researching and planning his hunt for the herba mystica, planning this huge outdoor roadtrip, knowing when he needs to ask for help.

And clavell shares that need to protect, to care for his students. he is endearingly cheugy about it, only he could come up with and get away with “clive” , but like arven he’s willing to muck in and be practical about his problems and finding solutions. he wants to know more about the younger gen, even if he doesn’t quite understand it, he’s still got that researcher’s curiousity that translates as a deep love for his school and students

i think they initially start to form a friendship after area zero. like, sada is dead, arven has come out of that pit with armfuls of trauma and grief, he’s incredibly behind in his studies and now clavell is very cognizant of absolutely everything about this boy, how sada treated him, why he didn’t attend school, how much clavell missed with him

so clavell takes him in. it's the least he can do for arven, and given the situation and his relationship with sada he’s best placed to be arven’s guardian. arven’s seventeen and a half so it’s not going to be for long, just until he’s of age and out of school, but clavell wants arven to have someone he can rely on, to offer some stability during the last of his time at the academy.

and arven’s pretty self sufficient, but there’s still things clavell can teach him. I like to think clavell is a practicing jew, while arven is jewish but never had a strong link to the practice because sada never taught him. it’s clavell who walks him through the shiva period for sada, it’s clavell who invites him up for shabbat dinner every week on friday nights, helps him celebrate the holidays, and even for nonjewish things clavell is there to help him out

i think their bond really starts to turn when arven fails his end of year exams, and can’t graduate. like this poor bean has Suffered, exams are not going to go well. arven doesn't fully trust clavell at this point, so when he gets his marks arven is like This Is It, he’s fucked it up again, clavell’s going to kick him to the curb. and then clavell… doesnt do that. he sits with him, holds him as he cries, reassures arven that its alright, he’s not going anywhere, arven has a place with him for as long as he needs it. and arven’s never had that unconditional care before, someone who has his back even when he’s at rock bottom.

arven rejoins the academy as a part time student, se he’s got another two years to finish his course, and that’s plenty of time for his and clavell’s relationship to get wonderfully knotty and squishy. arven calls him sabba (grandad) first as a bit of a joke, then as a term of endearment, and there is this deep well of reciporical love and respect for each other with the guardian-ward limits

this is very much a slow burn kind of romance. like arven starts realising that feelings are running an awful lot deeper than expected in his final year when he’s nearly twenty, two years after area zero. but arven is absolutely certain he can’t act on them, not only because he has a relationship that he treasures with clavell but if he did he risks clavell’s career and standing in the community. like, he can’t put clavell in that position, arven loves and respects him too much to even consider doing that.

while clavell starts catching feelings and is like Ah Yes, Inappropriate and shoves them directly into a locked box in his head. arven really has blossomed into a handsome young man now that he’s not suffering by himself and clavell admires that, loves him like a son, and he flatly refuses to impose any weirdness on that bond. he’s in a position of power, and he is very aware that he has to wield that responsibly.

in tannin i referred to them kissing on purim night. i like to think paldea has a fairly large jewish community - clavell gets invited to dendra’s annual purim party, and arven gets dragged into team star purim shindig. they agree to meet up at the end of the night so clavell can ensure arven gets home safely, but when they meet up it’s really obvious that they’re both sloshed. clavell’s had one too many glasses of rose, arven got tricked into doing shots, and the outcome is the both of them giggling and staggering back to clavell’s flat, arms tight around each other’s shoulders and joking and ribbing each other and their inhibitions are very much lowered, and it's such a cozy end to the evening that it feels perfectly natural for one to lean over to the other and kiss them

there are many kisses that night, but in the morning when they’re both hung over and regretting many things they both have to sit down together and hash out what comes next. like, cat’s out of the bag now and neither of them will lie to the other and pretend they haven’t been nursing deeper feelings, but the consequences of what’s between them getting out is so bad that they’re both hesitant to step forward and sail this ship where they want it to go

they aren’t actively “dating” until arven has graduated, that is a hard line for clavell which arven respects. they take the time between purim and graduation to get to know each other again, rejigging their bond and moving from guardian-ward to equals. ofc clavell still likes to take care of arven, but arven also wants to look after him, wants to love him and spend the rest of his life with him, they love each other so so much and this is just another aspect of their bond. they both keep the relationship on the absolute downlow, even when arven has graduated, but in the summer they live together in a flat in Zapapico, and they often video call or visit each other in the school year, when arven is a full time chef in medali and clavell is back at the academy.

anyway. them. squishy. i promise i’m not just smashing teacher kink and age difference kick rocks together, they can be sweet 🥰

[kmindzfaridabad]

Once you join a CELPIP preparation course, you are able to enjoy various benefits.

The Canadian English Language Proficiency Index Program is one of the most essential assessment tools for any individual wanting to pursue higher education, work, or even immigrate to Canada. Since this test tests a person's real-life ability to comprehend the English language, it would be required to prepare for the test should your result be what you had expected in the first place. A CELPIP preparation course offers many advantages that will dramatically boost your chances of acing the exam. Below, we explore the key benefits of taking a preparation course for the said exam.

1. Thorough Familiarization with Test Format

Another advantage that a preparation course for a CELPIP provides is the complete familiarity with the test format. The CELPIP is divided into four major sections, namely, Listening, Reading, Writing, and Speaking. Each section contains specific tasks and question types which can be quite intimidating for students who are not familiar with the format of the test.  

A good preparation course will give you an overview of every section, making you feel at ease knowing what to expect and what variations of the test are in store for you.

2. Guidance from Experienced Teachers

After you sign up for a CELPIP preparation course, you would most likely get instruction from teachers who have enjoyed considerable experience in English language education, and they are well versed with the CELPIP exam. The experienced guidance from these teachers would give them high-quality feedback, strategies, and tips on improving performance. 

They can guide you well to zero in on your celpip preparation course  strengths and weaknesses, and thus, enable you to direct efforts into areas which need improvement.

3. Tailored Study Plans and Resources

No learner is identical, and what works for a learner may not necessarily work for another one. A course on preparing for CELPIP must, therefore, include a personalized plan of study appropriate for you and your needs in learning. Instructors can then advise use of practice tests and other study materials accessible online to follow a sound study schedule. Besides building your confidence, it will also be learned easily.

Practice with Mock Tests

4.The practice test 

one of the best approaches to preparing oneself for the CELPIP exam. Most CELPIP prep courses offer test conditions identical to those encountered on an actual test, in which candidates are tested on a simulated examination time schedule. 

The mock tests familiarize you with the actual test time; you therefore have full control over the pacing of your examinations. Besides, they serve as benchmarks to check your improvement.

5. Improving English Skills

A CELPIP test preparation course will not only train you on various test-taking strategies but enhance your overall English language skills. Your celpip preparation course  will practice listening, reading, and writing exercises as well as discussion sessions to improve your speaking skills. 

The courses help you prepare for the exam effectively and be able to communicate smoothly in most real-time applications.

Conclusion

A CELPIP preparation course can truly boost your chances for getting the score you target. They can help you prepare in every possible way-from understanding the test format, to the guidance of an experienced trainer, to all the required resources-for this particular test. With such preparation and through these benefits, one can approach the CELPIP exam with confidence, having the good feeling that one has been well-equipped for success.