#the worst part is is having my mini schedule changed because of it

[trekkerac]

Had one of those times where your alarm goes off and you get up out of bed.

but then Surprise! it's 2 hours later and what would you know, you didn't get up. You fell asleep and now your sleep schedule is even more fucked

[awinchestershell]

I’m not sure how it still manages to surprise me after all this time, the depths of the selfishness and cruelty of human greed. 

I remember the day One Direction was formed. I remember how nervous they all were, how young and excited and wide-eyed about the possibilities being tossed into their laps. They truly had no idea what was in front of them. 

They were so small, and they had such big dreams that barely fit inside them, and it was so beautiful watching them achieve them. 

I remember watching them become more and more jaded over time, that childish wonder being torn away as the reality around them became more apparent. I remember hundreds upon thousands of tweets and tumblr posts from worried fans about how exhausted they seemed, something in their eyes just not feeling right anymore. 

The day Zayn left the band the world seemed to stop. I couldn’t tell you how many young girls on my social media pages I saw wailing in what at the time seemed like the worst pain this band could ever put us through.

God, how wrong we were. 

It seemed so obvious, even at the time, that there was something more going on. It wasn’t like they were trying to hide it. 

Then Zayn wrote his book and spoke about how much he’d struggled in the band, and for the first time one of the boys had publicly acknowledged how hard it was to be One Direction. And he was still barely scratching the surface.

The band breaks up, or ‘goes on hiatus’, and again it feels like the worst thing they could do. How much harder of a hit can we take? What more is there to lose?

And yet again, it’s so obvious that there’s more going on then they’re saying. They all seem so worn out, downright miserable at times, yet they never stop the grind. They never take a day off. They never sleep. 

Slowly, they start to talk about the reality of being a child star. Of being sixteen years old and handed the world on a silver platter, money and fame and all the things that no one ever even touches in their wildest dreams, and they’re not even out of high school yet. 

They talk of being locked up in hotel rooms for days at a time with nothing to entertain them but the mini bar. Feeling trapped, being a prisoner to their own success. They talk of schedules so busy they shouldn’t be possible, never seeing their own families, cameras in their faces at the most vulnerable moments of their lives.

They begin to write what they really feel. We finally get a peek into their real thoughts instead of what some bighead in a suit is telling them to think.

They write of real love, feeling lonely, feeling sad, feeling scared, feeling on top of the world, toxic romances that you know are toxic but you stay anyway because you don’t want to be alone, happiness so overwhelming you lose your mind, grief, exploring, running free, coming home, friendship, drugs, sex, all the best and worst parts of being alive. 

They write what they feel, and what they know. They express themselves. 

They find their own paths. We worry, of course we worry. But it’s an honor and a joy watching them find themselves in their music.

We convince ourselves that they’ll come together one day. Not even for a tour, because they’ve changed too much and so have we, but for a charity show, or someone’s birthday, or an anniversary. 

And then TMZ takes a photo.

And now we know that Zayn leaving and the band breaking up meant nothing at all.

It’s a fascinating thing, really. How you can spend years of your life not really thinking of someone anymore and then they’re gone and suddenly they’re all you can think of. 

I never left. I’ve known these boys as long as they’ve known each other. But I’ve seen so many people in the last week see this news and have years of memories come rushing back to them. A whole lifetime of love and joy and community just gone.

It’s a brutal, miserable blow to the most innocent part of you. The part that believes in the goodness of humanity, in the pure joy of creation, being a part of something bigger than yourself. 

All of the jokes, the laughter, the music, the friendship. It’s all just gone.

And the worst part is it didn’t have to happen.

A completely, hilariously avoidable tragedy. 

He’s gone because humanity hates itself. Because we are greedy and cruel. Because a management company exploited those five young boys for money and power until they couldn’t anymore, making sure to torment them along the way. Because men with cameras have to leech off of every vulnerable moment celebrities have, using and abusing their suffering for a quick buck.

Because the anonymous, mindless drones on social media think that their opinion is the only one that deserves to be heard. And that they decide who deserves to live or die. That it’s appropriate to send someone death threats and tell them to burn in hell, and then post jokes and celebratory tweets about them after they’ve killed themself. 

Because TMZ thinks that taking a picture of a man’s dead body and leaking it to the press before his mother has even gotten the call that he’s dead is good journalism. 

This is why he’s gone. 

THis is why there will be another Liam Payne after him. This is why we will never, ever be okay. Because humanity sees a senseless, unnecessary tragedy, and they point and laugh. And they ask how they can make money off of it.

Because we are broken. Fractured down to our core. And there is no fixing us. Not anymore. 

The media took a sweet, funny, bright-eyed 16 year old boy and they sucked all the life out of him. They turned him into a soulless cash cow, they took him for all he had, and when he had nothing left to give they abandoned him. 

And now that he’s gone they’re turning his death into a circus. Instead of allowing him the dignity of dying in peace, surrounded by the love and privacy he deserves, they’ve robbed him of even that.

When a mother is left resorting to begging the internet to not post filth of her child’s dead father so he won’t have to grow up and see it one day, and a crowd of teenage girls are forced to raise their hands up to block cameras from filming a man as he collects the belongings of his dead son, we’re left wondering how we got here. 

Ask yourself just how much of your soul you have left, and if the answer is any at all, how much are you willing to sacrifice to continue playing a part in this nightmare? 

[ros3ybabe]

Weekly Check In - November 12th, 2023 🎀

ugh I feel like I’ve been neglecting my blogs, and that’s not what I want to be doing!!!

I have finals coming up so soon, including exams and final papers (looking at you, psychology research paper). Not to mention I’m still working 5 days a week, classes 4 days a week, working out 3-5 days a week on top of all my adulting duties. It’s safe to safe I have been a little stressed lately, no doubt about that. It really got me bad because it was impacting my relationship with my boyfriend and the last thing I want to do is cause unnecessary stress and anxiety for him. I know I let my stress and anxieties get the best of me when I realized I was the one causing 98% of all of our arguments and issues this last few weeks. Luckily I was able to come to the realization that it had been my fault, so him and I talked it through and worked it out and I missed him that I would work both on myself more as well as work with my therapist and develop better coping strategies for times of high stress.

🩷 let’s recap this last week with some highlights! And then I will tal about my goals for the upcoming week!

I had to go talk to my PSYC TA about how far I’d fallen behind in the class and she was able to give me some encouragement and a lot of help and really set me on the path in the right direction, so I definitely have hope that I’ll pass this class with a B at worst, which is still an awesome grade!

I finally made it back to my cooking class and the professor was so kind, he told me it always upset his days when I’d miss class for the week and he asked me if was doing okay and how things were going. I think he’s in his 50s or 60s, and he’s just a very kind man, reminds me of my own dad. Has that typical old man dad humor and his cooking class has actually help me become more comfortable with my own cooking skills as of this semester. Definitely one of my favorite classes, and my classmates were the best too.

I registered for the next semester and I am sooo looking forward to the course load. Well, for the most part anyways. I have to retake Chemistry 2 as well as the lab but luckily the college offers a supplemental type of course to help with the actual class so that’s gonna be awesome. I’m also taking a sports medicine focused medical terminology course online, another once a week food focused course about food production, a psychology of emotion course (super super excited for this class), and I registered for a yoga class for the semester! I feel like having yoga twice a week will definitely help with stress and relaxation and just overall keep me on the right track health wise for the semester! I think I’m taking a total of almost 18 credit hours but other yoga class itself is 2 credits so it’s definitely gonna be an easier semester at least schedule and course load wise.

My work bestie had her baby shower! I can’t believe she’s 8 months pregnant with a little boy, he’s already so lucky to have her and her man as parents. She was absolutely glowing at her baby shower and I’m so happy that I got to go and support her. I’ve known her for going on three years already so it made my day to both be invited and get to see how excited she got when I went.

I bought matcha powder! (Amongst other health stuff, including some new gym gear for my lower body days) I have a mini traditional matcha set so I thought I’d finally use it no bought some matcha powder online! I’m super excited to try my hand at making myself matcha lattes. I even bought a milk frother so I’m a little excited.

I changed up my fitness goals and routine a bit. I’m still going to the gym 3 days a week for weight lifting, but now two of those are lower body days and the other is an upper body day. I’m also going to continue with my two days of cardio but on those two days I am also going to do some at home mat Pilates to help with my overall fitness, appearance, and health goals. I’ve heard that some lower intensity workouts are pretty good for women with PCOS so I thought incorporating that would be a good idea.

I’m Vitamin D deficient and I had no idea! I used to take vitamin D supplements at my old doctors request when I was a teenager but I stopped when I can rot college because I was no longer being advised to take it nor were my blood levels being check regularly so I figured ehh not a big deal but I recently got lab work done and yep, I am semi severely vitamin d deficient. So now I gotta look into different foods I can incorporate as well as a vitamin d supplement and more time in the sun!

I’ve been keeping up a decent skincare routine with a bunch of new products I bought and can I just say, the Anua Heartleaf Oil Cleanser is an absolute god send. I’m obsessed with Asian/Korean skincare. It’s done so much for my skin, I can’t recommend it enough!

overall, not a bad week this last week. this recap is for only (mainly) November 4th through yesterday, November 11th.

🩷 my upcoming goals and things for this week! (November 12th thru 18th)

Keep up with all my homework and turning assignments in completed and on time. I’m trying to finish the semester off strong, or at least as strong as I can. That just means it’s grind time and I gotta buckle down and get my school stuff done.

Insurance. I need to purchase insurance because the state I live in says I make too much to qualify for full coverage insurance which is an issue with the meds I take and the doctors I currently see, as well as my therapist. Adulting, yay!

Complete at least a draft and/or reel for my dietetics mentor by Saturday/next Sunday as the deadline was to have something sent to her by Monday at noon. So my goal is to have some drafts of content for her as soon as possible.

Work out at least three days this week. I’ve been consistent with going every week for the last four weeks but I haven’t been as consistent with how many days within the week that I’ve been going. So that’s definitely a goal of mine.

Look into a Pilates class/studio I can join by the beginning of next semester. I definitely want to take some classes to help with form and proper technique, but I think I want to give myself some time to build more confidence so that way I can give it my all in the future classes I take. Plus, my finances don’t exactly permit me taking Pilates classes at the moment. So my goal is to do some research now and then make a decision by mid January.

My boyfriend and I are hitting a year and a half together this week! Ahh I love him so much, I’m so excited for yet another milestone. Pretty soon we’ll be coming up on two years and I just couldn’t be happier. My man is my best friend, I’m so lucky and grateful that I have him in my life, especially as my partner <3

Attempt to make a matcha latte! My matcha powder comes in this week so I’m gonna try my hand at making my own matcha now!

Keep consistent with my skin care and self care. Also pick up journaling again this week as I think it’ll help me sort out my stressors and anxieties without harming my relationship with my man or my relationship with myself. Self care and working on my own well being benefit me in so many ways, I just need to keep consistent with it.

Restart my Duolingo and Busuu streaks as an attempt to get back into learning the Japanese language! Also begin to pick up Spanish again! Spanish is not too difficult for me to understand as a lot of people I’m around speak the language and I also took classes in high school and some in college. So I think splitting my time between Spanish and Japanese will be good and keep me from being bored and dropping my language studies altogether. I’m going to start with Spanish Duolingo and just go from there with it! once I get more comfortable with the languages I will start making small posts in those languages! Spanish will definitely come easier than Japanese tho, that’s for sure.

that’s all for this upcoming week! It feels like it’s going to be busy but next week is our break for thanksgiving so that’s one week of rest and relaxation and recovery for me. I won’t be spending the holiday with anyone but I don’t mind, it gives me a day to be mindful and grateful and just give me some time to myself that day, and for the whole week. Everyone who knows me in person knows I definitely need the time for myself. I think it’ll be very restorative for sure.

for those of you who follow my side blogs for my fitness, I’ll be posting to it here soon as well! I think I might update you on my current split and routine more in depth then what I mentioned here. And I’m going to drop a review of some of the new skincare products I’ve recently bought and tried as well! I’ll try to do a mid week update this week on this blog too!

til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

[thedandelion-writer]

❝sleeping habbits, mondstadt edition❞

Pairings: Diluc x reader, Mona x reader, Kaeya x reader, Jean x reader

A/N: There we go, part 2! Also a modern au :)

<- Liyue edition

Diluc hardly ever sleeps deeply

Some days, he'd even wake at the slightest sound

He feels the most vulnerable when asleep, thus the hyperawareness

You snort and thinks it's funny. Relax Diluc, no one's going to murder you in your sleep!

Right..?

On the days where you would come into bed after he was already turned in, you had to tiptoe around as if you were afraid of disturbing a baby. Even your breathing was silent.

The amount of sound that would wake him up varied. But you weren't sure if today was especially bad, as in footsteps could wake him up bad, or if it was mild, as in even the rustling of the covers would be okay.

It was all going well so far. You've slipped into sleepwear and was just about to settle in, mentally congratulating yourself. But maybe you thought you were in the clear too soon, because as soon as your weight hit the bed, it creaked.

You cringed inwardly, slapping a hand over your eyes as Diluc stirred.

"Don't wake up, love," you skirted over. "It's really late."

"It is really late." Was that an accusing tone you heard?

"Hehe...I was just finishing up some work." You quickly slipped underneath the sheets, body instantly enveloped in warmth. "I'm sorry for waking you."

Diluc shook his head before pulling you in closer.

"It's better with you here," he said. "I wouldn't mind staying up all night to wait."

Or maybe it wasn't the so called assassins who might come to him in the night that he feared. Maybe it was because he was afraid that he wouldn't see you again the next time he awoke.

Diluc doesn't really have a set time in which he'd go to bed

But he goes in relatively early because he also wakes up, relatively early

He was used to sleeping alone for the longest time, but now you've come and spoiled him

It just doesn't feel the same without you next to him anymore

Mona is the type of person who'd keep all her astrology books, trinkets, etc on her bed

Just splayed out and messy because she fell asleep whilst using them last night. And the night before...and the night before that

Never bothered to cleaning it up because it'll end up messy again anyway!

Sometimes you'd roll onto your back and ouch--there'd be a mini telescope or something

"Oww," you groaned, a pain stabbing at your side.

The culprit? It was unsurprisingly yet another one of Mona's astrologer's stuff. What the heck was this even called?

After plucking out the round, metal offender to place on the windowsill, you look over to your sleeping lover.

"Well at least someone's getting a good night sleep," you grumbled.

Somehow Mona always found a way to avoid all the nonsense she laid scattered on your shared bed. You always supported her passions, but this is getting out of hand.

As if sensing someone was talking (or in this case, thinking) about her, Mona stretched a little and curled up tighter into herself. You sighed softly to yourself, not being able to be annoyed for long.

You cleaned up the best you could (even though you already did that before turning in), and laid back down beside her. You'd have to make sure Mona would pay you for the troubles she's caused you tonight. And you only accept payment in cuddles!

The bed has to be beside a window. Always.

If the skies are clear and starry you best believe she'd be staring at them, talking about the things she loved most (other than you of course- ) until the both of you drift off

The girl's a night owl so you have to be able to put up with late night tinkering

Also--awful awful bedhead

But don't ever say it to her face, you will get hit by a pillow (or worse!!)

The guy has absolutely no regard for how freaking cold he keeps his room

It's an eternal winter in there, even when it's blazing hot outside

Worst part? He doesn't even have a proper blanket. That, sir, is a rectangular piece of cloth

If you like the cold? Then sure, let him keep it that way. If not, you would have to make some changes around here.

"You should've told me you lived in a fridge??" You said, half jokingly through chattered teeth.

"You don't like it sweetheart?" He faked hurt, sauntering up behind you to grasp your shoulders as if you were newlyweds inspecting a new house to move into.

"Uhh well, there's literal frost on the edges of your window. And it's not even winter, Kaeya, clearly I'll be a popsicle by morning!"

It was your first night staying with him. And in your head, it was going to be all romantic like you've seen in the novels and shows. Warm cuddles, kisses underneath the blankets (oh my gods that blanket is paper thin), legs and arms entwined and you'd wake up like that.

But archons be damned, this was not what you had imagined.

"You'd make a very good looking popsicle then, love," he had the nerve to laugh so you elbowed him in the ribs.

"Alright alright, I'll make it warmer for you, how does that sound?"

"And I want a new blanket."

"Consider it done," he ruffled your hair to press a kiss onto the crown of your head.

Anything to please his darling.

He also sleep talks

And it's the funniest shit you'll ever hear if you're awake to hear it

One time you recorded it and now you use it as blackmail, threatening to send it to Diluc every time he'd get too cheeky

Her sleeping schedule is messed. up.

Jean would never admit it, but she loses a lot of rest time due to her work

You keep telling her to please get more than 2 and a half hours of shut-eye per day, but she is stubborn as she is lovely

Which worries you a heck of a lot, obviously

Doesn't help the fact that this woman can sleep anywhere. On a chair sitting down, face on a desk, on the bus, against you, the list goes on

Sometimes, when she's worked herself to the limit, you'll find her asleep at the most bizarre of places

Funny story! One time, Jean fell asleep on the train on the way home and missed all her stops

You had to find her in the middle of nowhere

"Darling-" you hurried to embrace your tired looking lover as she ambled her way out of the station.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry you had to come get me in the middle of the night," Jean murmured into the crook of your neck. "I must have worried you too...I apologise."

You held your tongue at all the things you piled up to say on the drive here, but the scolding could wait until tomorrow. Right now, looking at her exhausted complexion, you couldn't bring yourself to tell her anything other than everything's alright, she can rest now.

Jean looked at you with eyes full of appreciation and affection, eyes that never failed to melt you like ice cream on the summer pavement.

Aside from that, she likes to keep the bedroom very neat

If she does sleep in the bed, Jean would constantly put your comfort over hers

You need some warm milk in the middle of the night? She's on it!!

Your pillows feel uncomfortable? Take hers!!

Oh dear you've accidentally rolled too much into her side? It's no problem, she can just move over to yours

Good morning kisses are her thing

But usually she gives it to you because she's almost always out of it first

[masterofmunson]

driver’s license ~ part one

Harry Styles x Fem!Reader

Summary: Things between you and Harry were going great. That was the case until he blindsided you and broke your heart by leaving you for his co-star. Based off the song Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo.

Warnings: language and angst. covid doesn’t exist.

Word Count: 4.4k+

Author’s Note: Here she is! I’m sorry it’s so delayed. School has really been kicking my ass. Consider this my anti-valentine’s day fic. This will be a two or three part mini series, I haven’t decided yet. Please let me know what you think! Comments, reblogs, and asks are highly encouraged and appreciated! Enjoy!

It felt like your heart had been ripped out of your chest. It’d been several weeks since you saw Harry last. He returned to film Don’t Worry Darling and you were left feeling empty and buried yourself in your work. Whatever was happening between you and Harry was up in the air.

You’re friends. You’re the best of friends, at least you were for a while. He wrote a song for you. You kissed him. He kissed you back. You were happy, and then all of a sudden he became a stranger to you. You don’t recognize the person you’ve come to know.

“Harry? I thought you couldn’t take me driving today?” you asked one evening as he stands on your doorstep with slumped shoulders and a nervous gaze. You’d texted him earlier about driving around the area and his answer was short, but not out of the ordinary for him.

Now, staring at him, something was clearly wrong and he looked like he would rather be anywhere than in front of you on your porch. “Is everything alright?”

He lets out a nervous breath and bites the inside of his cheek. You open the door wide enough for him to step inside. He rings his fingers together. “Sorry, I should’ve called,” he said, his eyes roam around the foyer of your apartment.

Your brows knit together. He’s acting strange. He shows up unannounced all the time and it’s never bothered you before. You’re friends and slowly testing the waters to be something more.

“Harry, what’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?”

The silence is deafening and it sends a chill down your spine. He looks down at the floor and the lump in your throat grows. You fight back tears. You know exactly what the silence means. He’s having second thoughts about pursuing a relationship with you. Your worst fear is coming true.

“You’re having second thoughts about our relationship, aren’t you?”

Harry swallows hard, nodding slowly. “Sort of. I don’t regret it, and I still very much have feelings for you, but I’ve had time to think. I just don’t think it would be fair to start our relationship right now. I don’t want to distract you from what’s important to you and I have the press tour coming up as well as my tour. I want you to be happy and you won’t see me for months at a time.”

You don’t really know what to say. You want to scream and shout at him. None of that mattered before the two of you kissed. He would see you whenever his schedule allowed and you traveled to see him whenever you could. He was your best friend and you made an effort to make your friendship the way it is.

You’re used to the distance. You’re used to the texts, phone calls, and FaceTiming him. It’s how you stay in touch when you’re thousands of miles apart. Why would it be any different now that you’re together?

You try not to cry. It’s such a piss poor excuse to end things between the two of you. After all you’ve been through together, he’s ending it because he’s scared.

“Are you kidding me, Harry? You’re ending whatever this is because you’re scared? I made the choice to kiss you that night. You made the choice to kiss me back. You’re my best friend. I don’t care about the distance. I want you,” you confessed. A tear falls on your cheek and you turn your head away from him to wipe it away.

Harry sighed, scratching the back of his head. “I’m sorry. You deserve better. You deserve stability and I can’t give you that, at least not right now.”

You let out a shaky breath to try and mask the sob creeping up your throat. More tears gather in your eyes and against your better judgement, you let Harry reach for your face. His thumb brushes against the shell of your cheek and you lean into his touch. He presses a lingering kiss to your forehead and you hold the hand pressed against your cheek.

A few tears fall and he gently wipes them with the pad of his finger. You sniff quietly and come to your senses and pull away from him. You wipe your nose and let out an awkward laugh. You rock back on your heels and nod towards the door.

“You should go.”

He nods slowly and walks towards the door. He opens the door and turns to look at you one more time before he leaves. You look away. He’s seen enough. You can’t let him see you break further. It doesn’t matter if he’s your best friend. He’s breaking your heart.

The door shuts behind him and you gasp for air as you let the tears fall. You grab at your shirt and fall to the floor. You bring your knees to your chest and cry and cry.

You never thought the person you loved and cared for the most in the world would be the one to hurt you. He gave you a bad excuse. Why did he change his mind? Was it something you said or did? Was it because you weren’t an A list celebrity? You were just a small time producer working in your family owned studio.

It was by chance that a friendship blossomed with the rock star Harry Styles. His own music producer called in sick one day and you filled in for him. You had been friends ever since and occasionally helped him with music every now and then when you weren’t busy with other clients. It was one of the reasons why you had yet to get your driver's license. You were too busy to take the time to learn and you lived in the city so you didn’t really see a need to get your license. You could Uber or bum rides from your brother to the office if you had to.

Did you read too much into things? Harry had written a song for and about you. He told you that much. It was sweet and romantic. You kissed him and it was reciprocated. You didn’t trick or trap him into doing something he didn’t want to do. He confessed his feelings and then you kissed some more.

How would things pan out between the two of you now that he’d broken things off? You couldn’t go back to how things were before. You can’t forget the way he kissed you. You can’t just forget and ignore the way he made you feel. Maybe he would, you thought bitterly.

Harry was notorious for sweeping things under the rug and acting like nothing happened. If he doesn’t address it, it didn’t happen. You won’t let him do that to you. It’s cruel and painful. It’s pure torture.

Now, several weeks have passed since Harry showed up at your doorstep and broke your heart. Since then, you’ve put distance between the two of you. You don’t go out of your way to reach out to him and if he sends you a message, you take hours to reply. Your older brother Malcolm has taken Harry’s place as your driving instructor and he doesn’t ask what happened and you appreciate it.

It’s still a sore subject and you go out of your way to avoid Harry when you know he’s scheduled to work in one of the studios. Everyone’s noticed the change in behavior but no one asks questions. You keep your head down and busy yourself with work. It keeps you from dwelling on what could’ve been. You don’t have the time for such things at work.

It’s a different story altogether when you’re at home alone. Everything reminds you of Harry and you feel utterly pathetic. You drown your sorrows into cheap wine and poorly written romcoms. It’s easier than doing something stupid like drunk texting him.

Now, in hindsight you definitely shouldn’t have been drinking on a lonely Tuesday night. You hadn’t planned on finishing the bottle, but you lost track of time and soon enough you were opening wine bottle number two and finishing it just as easily as you did the first. You know better than to come into work with a raging hangover, but you couldn’t call off. You had a scheduled client that had been on the books for weeks.

Stumbling into the building, you push your sunglasses up the bridge of your noise and trudge to your office. You turn the lights on and close the curtains. Collapsing into your chair, you groan loudly and pull your water bottle out of your work bag and take a long sip.

There’s a gentle knock on the door and you look at your brother through your sunglasses. He laughs softly and steps inside, shutting the door behind him before taking the seat in front of your desk. He leans back into the seat and playfully kicks his feet up on your office table.

There’s a comfortable silence that falls upon the room and Malcolm drinks his coffee slowly. “Can I ask what happened between you and Harry? Wasn’t he teaching you how to drive?”

The question makes your heart drop deep inside your chest. You figured that Malcolm knew that something had happened between you and Harry. You were never in the office when Harry stopped by. Malcolm knew that you were close with Harry, but he didn’t know the extent of your relationship.

You were still figuring out what to label what the two of you were when Harry broke things off. It was still hush hush and kept between the two of you. Nothing fundamentally changed your relationship with each other. All your friends and family as well as his knew that the two of you were incredibly close. No one would’ve known you were seeing each other.

You let out a deep sigh. You tell him everything. You tell him about the song he wrote for you. You tell him how you kissed. You tell him how you’d been seeing each other, going on dates, and acting as everything was normal for the last few months. You tell him how Harry came to your apartment unannounced one day and completely broke your heart just several weeks earlier.

It’s hard to get through and tell him everything with tears gathering behind the sunglasses on your face. Another wave of silence fills the room and Malcolm sits up in the chair and reaches across the table for your hands. He squeezes your hands firmly and you force a smile on your face.

“I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that,” he said. “When you’ve sobered up, let’s take you to the DMV. I don’t want this rite of passage to be tainted with bad memories. It’s about time you get your license. Your car definitely has a thick layer of dust on it.”

You laugh loudly and pull the sunglasses from your face. You wipe away the last of your tears and nod slowly. Malcolm smiles gently and it makes you feel better almost immediately. You could always count on him to make you feel better about a shitty situation you’re going through.

Several more days pass and you are finally a licensed driver. You feel like you’re on a runners high. Now you understand why Harry and the rest of your friends enjoy driving so much. You feel free driving along the coast as the sun sets every evening. It’s made you much happier in recent days.

At least it did.

It was only a matter of time before something ruined your mood. It had been touch and go in the last few days. You could breathe a little easier knowing that Malcolm knew why you were acting and behaving out of the ordinary. He understood. He’s had his fair share of heartbreaks. You don’t have to bottle it in, not when Malcolm knows and doesn’t judge you for it.

When you come to work several mornings after your trip to the DMV, you’re met with odd looks as you walk towards your office. All eyes are on you and it makes your heart drop.

What happened? Was it your dad? Was it Malcolm?

You hurry into your office and throw your things down and barely register that Malcolm is already in your office. You practically jump out of your skin as he shuts the door behind him.

“Jesus Christ, Malcolm!” you screamed, spinning around and clutching your chest. Your heart races and leaps into your throat. “Don’t scare me like that!”

Malcolm stares at you and frowns apologetically. His face is somber and his posture is rigged. He motions for you to sit down.

“You should sit down.”

You stare at him carefully. You cross your arms over your chest. “What’s going on?”

“Please sit, and then I’ll tell you.”

You huff and roll your eyes at your older brother. You collapse into your chair and motion for him to continue. He lets out a careful breath. “There’s no easy way to say this, and you were going to find out eventually, but somehow TMZ got a hold of private photos of you and Harry together.”

Confusion washes over you. You don’t understand. That doesn’t seem too bad. There’s plenty of photos of the two of you on the internet. It’s an occupational hazard and it’s expected if you’re friends with someone like Harry.

“That doesn’t seem so bad. There’s plenty of photos of us together on the internet. Being photographed together isn’t a crime. We’re close,” you reasoned.

Malcolm noticeably winces and your heart drops inside your chest. “Normally, I would agree, but these are…. different. They’re photos of the two of you kissing at Griffith Observatory.”

Oh no. Oh no. Oh shit.

You and Harry had gone on a date to the observatory just a few days after you kissed and confessed your feelings for one another. It was nearing sunset and it was nearly empty of tourists and locals alike.

You were careful not to draw attention towards yourselves. You were having fun and being silly together. You’d been taking photos together and of each other. An elderly couple even offered to take a few photos of the two of you together.

They were incredibly sweet and thankfully had no idea who Harry was. One of the photos they took was your lockscreen for the longest time. You were happy and full of bliss.

“W-What?” you stuttered in disbelief. “How? That was months ago! We were careful and no one recognized him.”

Malcolm shrugs and it doesn’t make you feel any better. Of course he doesn’t know. “There’s more.”

You groan. Could it get any worse? His fans will destroy you if they haven’t already. You lean back in your chair and Malcolm just stares at you.

“There’s photos of Harry and Olivia Wilde together. He allegedly took her as his plus one to Jeff’s wedding. They’re holding hands and look…. close. There’s rumors that they’ve been dating for the last several weeks.”

A wave of nausea washes over you. You can’t breathe. You can’t think. You feel like you’re about to pass out. You feel absolutely disgusted. You don’t know what to say.

You’re hurt and you feel betrayed. Harry had abandoned you when the better option rolled past. His second thoughts about your relationship had nothing to do with the distance or his crazy schedule. It had everything to do with his beautiful, successful co-star and director Olivia Wilde.

It makes you feel sick to your stomach. You’re in no shape to work. You’re a disaster and it feels as if your heart is being stabbed a thousand times.

What happened? What happened to the man you love and who claimed to love you? Someone you love isn't supposed to hurt you the way Harry has. He makes you feel like trash thrown on the side of the road.

You scramble to your feet and hyperventilate as you grab your things from on top of your desk. You race out the door and ignore the stares as you leave the office. You ignore Malcolm shouting after you and climb into your car and take off.

Your grip on the steering wheel is tight and hurts your palms. You ignore how fast you’re going and you drive, and drive, and drive.

Nearly an hour has gone by and you pull off the highway and make the exit towards Newport Beach. You park in an empty lot near the public beach and stare out into the ocean.

You scream in the car. Your hands shake the steering wheel and you cry, and cry, and cry. You feel pathetic and used. How could you ever believe that Harry would ever want to be with someone like you? You’re practically a nobody. It doesn’t matter that your family is in the music industry. You’re not a pop star or an extremely talented director.

Your hands shake and you reach for the tiny, beat up journal tucked away in the bottom of your work bag. You open the door to your car and pop open the trunk. You grab the blanket from the back before locking up and trek up towards the shore.

You sit down in the warm sand and close your eyes. Your shoulders relax as you listen to the crashing waves nearby.

Another wave of tears find their way at the corners of your eyes. This time you don’t try to hold them back.

Your shoulders shake as you cry and you feel utterly defeated. You’ve given Harry way too much power over you. He doesn’t deserve you and you don’t deserve to be treated like someone that can be taken and put back on to a shelf.

You open your journal to a clean page and begin to write. Memories with Harry come to mind and you write, write, write.

“I can’t believe you’re working on Olivia Wilde’s new movie,” you told Harry in awe on the day he broke the news to you. “I mean, I can. It’s just amazing! Just promise me you won’t leave me for your sexy co-star,” you teased.

Harry laughs and kisses the top of your forehead. He gives you a warm and soft kiss to your mouth. “I wouldn’t dream of it, darling,” he whispered. “I’m crazy for you.”

You grin at him and he pulls you closer in the soft sheets of his bed. His touch engulfs you and you sink deeper and deeper into him.

Tears dampen the journal as you write and cry, write and cry. You look away briefly, rubbing at your cheek, ridding it of your tears.

What happened? What went wrong? You loved him with your entire being. Why wasn’t that enough? Why weren’t you enough?

A broken sigh leaves your lips and you turn back to your journal. You write some more. This time, a memory from before the two of you kissed comes to mind.

The two of you sat on top of the hood of his car. The beach is nearly empty as it nears sunset. You eat ice cream and watch the waves crash against the shore. Harry nudges you playfully as takes a spoonful of his strawberry and banana blizzard.

“I think it’s about time you learn how to drive,” he said with a mouthful of food.

You laughed and rolled your eyes. Of course he’d say that. He’s probably sick of being your personal chauffeur and taking you everywhere. You guess it’s time to learn.

“Yeah? Is this your way of telling me that you’re sick of driving me everywhere?” you teased.

He rolled his eyes too and smiled. It made your stomach jump. “Nooooo. I just want you to drive up to my house once in a while. Is that so bad?”

“I guess not. Who do you suggest I should ask to be my teacher?”

You were teasing him. You just wanted to get a rise out of him and it worked. He gasps and shoves you gently. You laughed and he frowned at you.

“If I haven’t made it obvious, I’m teaching you. God knows what’ll happen if you get behind the wheel with anyone else.”

You rolled your eyes at his teasing and bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. That fucker. He knows exactly what to say to get you to take the bait. You scoffed and finished the rest of your ice cream and Harry does the same.

“I’ll teach you in the parking lot for now.”

By the time you’re done writing, you’ve filled nearly five pages in your journal. Words are scribbled out, phrases reworked and rephrased, lines scratched through a number of stanzas.

It’s painful. It’s sorrow. It’s complete and utter heartbreak. It’s vulnerable and raw. It’s what’s become of your relationship with Harry. It’s beautiful.

You stopped crying a while ago. The remains of your tears stain your cheeks and it doesn’t bother you. You gather your things together and return to your car.

This time as you sit in your car and grab the steering wheel, you don’t scream pathetically or shake the wheel. Instead, you look out at shore, the ache in your heart reduced to a dull throb in your chest.

When you return to the office several days later, you ignore the sea of eyes that follow behind you as you trudge to Malcolm’s office. You’re on a mission and you will see it through.

The door to his office is closed and you quickly push it open. “Hey, Malcolm, I wrote something and I want you to—”

You don’t know what you expected when you opened his office door without knocking. He’s told you countless times to knock before entering, but you’ve never listened. You should probably knock now.

Jeff sits in the chair closest to the door. He turns his head to look at you. He gives a courteous smile. Your heart drops inside your stomach and you slowly close the door.

“What’s going on?”

“I think it’s best if you sit down,” Malcolm said, motioning to the empty seat next to Jeff.

“I think I’m good standing right here,” you replied defiantly, resting your back against the door. You cross your arms over your chest and glare at the two men in front of you. They share a glance before Malcolm looks back at you.

“Jeff and I were just discussing our options on how to handle the PR situation going on with you and Harry.”

You let out a bitter laugh. Since when has any PR stunts ever been handled by Harry or his team? They’re notorious for ignoring it altogether. It’s a part of his brand. His fans even know that he sweeps things under the rug. Why would they want to handle it? Any PR is good PR, according to Jeff at least.

“Since when did you start caring about bad PR, Jeff? It is because I’m a nobody in an industry that only cares about the elite? Or is it because Harry being seen with someone who isn’t a celebrity is bad for his brand?” you asked sarcastically with an eye roll.

You feel a wave of tears threaten to fall at the corners of your eyes. Your chin quivers and you bite the inside of your cheek. Don’t cry, don’t cry, do not cry. You’re done crying over Harry.

“Y/n, that’s not true. He’s in the middle of filming and we’ve carefully made it seem like he’s with Olivia Wilde. It’s to help promote the movie,” Jeff defended.

You click your tongue to the roof of your mouth. “Right, because everything’s about Harry and what’s best for him. Do whatever the fuck you want, just leave me out of it and don’t talk to me again.”

You leave his office and ignore the stares as you leave the building. You can’t be here, not when Jeff is just feet away from you. You’re sad, angry, and hurt. You just want to punch something.

You return to your car and scream in frustration the moment the door shuts. Harry didn’t even come to fix the situation himself. Instead he sent his manager to do all the dirty work for him. He still hasn’t said sorry for the hurt and pain he put you through. You doubt he’d even apologize for the hell you’ll get from his fans.

You drive home and change out of your work attire into comfy pajamas. You settle in front of your piano and mess around with the soundboard nearby that’s connected to your computer before pressing the record button.

It goes on like this for hours. You splice the instruments together, fixing and editing the tempo, sound, and bass here and there. It’s a tedious process, but one you love. You carefully place the headphones over your ears and swallow hard before you begin singing the lyrics on the main track. After you add a variety of harmonies and melodies to give the song more depth.

Then it’s over. The song’s finished and recorded. It’s perfect. It’s everything you imagined it would be when you wrote the lyrics on the beach. It’s vulnerable, but it’s beautiful and it’s you. You didn’t need Malcom’s help to produce the song. You did it all on your own, like always.

You lean back into your chair and stare at the computer file. You couldn’t publish it. It won’t see the light of day. You’re not meant to be singing the songs you write. You’re meant to share and produce them for artists that are infinitely more talented than you. Maybe you could sell the rights to someone like Billie Eilish or Ariana Grande. They could do the song justice.

No. It’s too vulnerable, too you. It’s only meant to be sung by you. It’s yours, no one else’s. You don’t need a second opinion. If things were still good between you and Harry, he would encourage you to release the song.

Maybe that’s why you set up your camera and took photos to create your own album art for the song. Maybe that’s why you watched the file slowly render in Apple Music, ITunes, and Spotify. You hover over the publish tab.

You hesitate. There’s no going back. Once it’s uploaded, there’s no way to delete it. The song is out there forever. People will link it to Harry in a matter of minutes, that much is obvious, but you don’t care. You’re doing this for you and no one else. If Harry could write songs about his exes, so could you.

You click publish, and exhale deeply as the song appears in the system.

There’s no going back.

[b0rista]

— 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄, 𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐀, 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍, & 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐎 𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐃. ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: language, because i can't form sentences without using "fuck" every other word JDJD.

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: i only made this modern because i desperately wanted to include marco to the fullest leave me aloneEffsg. gn! reader, and i went pretty lengthy on this one so beneath the cut is where the headcanons start :)

𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓: bearbrickjia on instagram!

by far, the best friend group to have. everyone balances one another out, and it's a perfectly imperfect mesh of teenagers.

there's jean, the group's centerpiece. he's the alpha of the posse, usually working as their own personal line leader whenever they're caught doing something as a group. he'll never admit it, but he's also the dad friend. of course, he's more of a "i wish i never gave birth to you oh my god please leave me alone also i love you" type than the stereotypical dad friend.

there's marco, the glue holding the group together. unsurprisingly, he's the calm, kindhearted support system that balances out the cokeheads, keeping them all sturdy. without a doubt, the group would fall apart without him. they need him, okay!! and by "them," i mean jean and yourself. marco, never change.

following up, there's connie & sasha, the wonder twins. their roles are pretty self explanatory, given their natural rambunctiousness. they're the two that hang out outside of the group the most, for obvious reasons. they're the crackhead siblings that bring life to the group, despite the hot water they typically land the others in. through their antics and their comic relief, they're irreplaceable. still, it's easy to want to strangle them sometimes.

next, there's you! because you're the reader, i won't name any specifics, but you're greatly cherished. you mark your place in the crew through various ways, having a unique relationship with each and every member. when he's in need of a breather outside of his typical nest (AKA marco), jean hits your line. if you're needing any kind of assistance with literally anything ever, marco's there to help. craving some chaos? bitch, connie & sasha have GOT YOU.

the main hangout spot is jean's house, 100%. not only has his mom practically adopted the whole squad, but there's only two people living there, so it isn't crowded. connie banned literally all four of you from his place, lmao. there was too many people there, and his family lives to humiliate him.

the group has this one policy, set down by yourself and jean: four piece maximum. this is directed solely towards sasha, of course, considering her tendency to raid her friends' fridges entirely of any food. if she's ever caught rummaging through a fridge for longer than necessary, it's the home owner's duty to shout, "four piece minimum!"

^ it never fails to startle her 😭. one time, she hit her head so hard on the fridge ceiling at jean's house she had to use a bag of frozen peas to soothe the swelling.

then, she proceeded to eat the thawed out peas. jean gagged.

the inside jokes? endless. all it takes is one word from a single event, and the five of you are losing your shit. it's cute, to be honest, how overzealous you all get from a single instance from months ago.

"ha. heh. hee."

"what is it?"

"ngGhh,, chEDDAR TIDDIES-"

"AHHHHHAGAGSHHDJF-"

if there are any inside jokes formed between two group members that isn't shared with the rest of them, there will be immediate bitterness. one time, you and sasha were giggling to yourselves over some druggie named jerry who'd tried selling baskets of rotten cherries to the two of you during a gas station haul— the boys were not having it. what the fuck were you doing without them, "friends"?

right before starting your guys' senior year of highschool, the five of you were on a group facetime when you all sent your schedules into group chat. due to the scarceness of your soon-to-be-majors, absolutely none of you had any classes together. you had a single lunch period with connie while marco had one with jean, but that was about it. it was,, a dramatic discovery. sasha fucking screamed.

"i have nothing with nobody!"

"calm down, sash-"

"you have lunch with y/n! LUNCH! that's my place, lunch. this is despicable, this is evil, this is a braus hate crime-"

yeah, she didn't take it that well. it's okay, doe. the four of you made a special effort during your passing periods, giving sasha enough of a fix for her to make it through each and every day.

it isn't like the five of you don't hang out outside of the classroom, either!! if you hadn't already made plans during that week, the weekend is where you absolutely thrive as a group. study sessions that always shift into exclusive house parties, lunches spent at your favorite places, the occasional visit to the movie theater, and so on. with a mini crowd like that, it's hard for any of you to get bored.

jean's hopeless crush on mikasa is a big factor in your friendship. when everyone minus marco (because he's an angel) isn't mercilessly teasing him, you're all trying to actually help the fucker score the girl. from talking him up obnoxiously enough whereas she'll hear, or flat out telling her to give him a chance, it's an actual effort. though, it's unfortunately all to no avail. shawty's too smitten with eren to even consider her options.

^ with that being said, the four of you have to give jean the "there are other fish in the sea" scoop more often than you'd like to admit.

group cuddles. that's that.

because he's the tallest and therfore the longest (probably, depending on your height), everybody has a chosen body part of jean's to latch onto during naps. connie has one leg while you have the other, and sasha keeps her head rested on his shoulder. marco's at the very bottom, entangling his legs in your own. somehow, this is heaven for jean. he'll never admit to it, though. as far as any of you are concerned, he HATES IT.

ranking from #1 as the best and #5 as the worst, these are the rated group therapists: ⇩︎

#1: marco. self explanatory, he's an amazing listener and provides supremely good advice. that, and he'd literally rather die than let any of his friends internalize anything they're dying to let loose.

#2: you. really, you're just a lot better than jean or connie. sasha's okay at it, but she's not the best at rationalizing, leaving you at second best. basically, when marco isn't available, you're where the freak shows go. marco goes to you about things, too.

#3: sasha. again, she's just a loT better than the final two. sasha's a sweetheart! she's empathetic, and nonjudgmental. we love her in this house.

#4: connie. also somewhat of a sweetheart, although not as much as sasha. he'll drop a shit ton of humor into serious conversations, making them just a tad bit more tolerable.

#5: jean. look, he's a great friend! however, he isn't all that empathetic, and he'll have some trouble understanding. still, he would try his hardest to make you or the other three feel better :,)).

in a modern universe, i know damn well connie's a half-assed stoner 30% of the time. he doesn't light up all that often, and he doesn't tell anybody about it, even you guys. mainly because marco will grill him for it DJFK. however, you stumbled upon his mini marijuana stash and he was like ahh, shit. you didn't really care doe, his secret is safe with you. you, however, now have DIRT on him.

matching bracelets that you all made for eachother yEars ago but never wear 🥺🥺.

many, many, many poly relationship jokes. only jokes, though. some people take it too literally, which y'all just laugh at.

there's a miniature rivalry going on between you and another nearby friend group: reiner, bertholdt, annie, ymir, and christa. of course, all of you are friends, it's all fun in games— most of the time, anyway. it's a funny rivalry, and you guys go at it quite a bit.

one of your guys' most intense debates is whether or not marco has freckles on his dick.

he,, refuses to show any of you, or even anSweR you.

"you act like we can't just check whenever we use the urinals, man."

"CONNIE-"

now, marco refuses to go to the bathroom at the same time as any of the boys <\33.

the group band? black eyed peas.

[bakugou-tm]

Master Knows Best (18+)

Bakugou x Maid Cafe Reader

plot: You’ve gone almost a full year working at a maid cafe with none of your friends finding out, which is exactly how you liked it; but thanks to a certain friend your beloved hot headed boyfriend found out your secret and planned on teasing you the whole time. In a stubborn attempt to get back at him, you realized exactly what would happen if you disobeyed your master

warnings: suggestive NSFW, swearing, a shit ton of teasing

wc: 5200+

mood song: worst behavior

a/n: I was supposed to post this on valentine’s day but it’s better late than never right? I perhaps may make a part two depending on how this does but I’m also a s s at NSFW so we’ll see. For now just enjoy (especially my fellow brats out there)

You liked things to be simple. You were a simple girl, with a simple life.

Sure you had your secrets, but thanks to your overall simplicity, nobody even bothered to uncover them.

That’s just the way you liked it too. Each different part of your life was separated as they should, for if they intertwined your life would becoming a living nightmare.

You never dreamed that living nightmare would become a reality. Who knew all it would take to crumble the reputation you built up for so long...

was a simple text.

Sweat trickled down the ash blond’s toned arms, his ragged breath becoming more steady as he slumped down against the wall while his friend took a few rounds at the punching bag.

The sound of his phone buzzing beside him didn’t drag him out of his exhausted mindset quite yet, but when his crimson eyes glanced across the words on the screen he felt everything come to a halt.

electric dunce: remember that day time job (l/n) said she had during the weekends? i think i found it bro..

electric dunce: 1 attachment

Bakugou’s red haired training buddy noticed the change in spirit with his blond friend, noticing how his heavy breathing suddenly stopped.

Wiping his gloved hand across his forehead, Kirishima glanced down to his friend only to see Bakugou’s eyebrows knit in a deep focus.

“You uh... You okay bro?” Kirishima questioned with a raised brow, trying to control his own ragged breaths after he attacked the swaying back before him.

Before he could question his friend once more, Bakugou let out a breathy chuckle, one filled with mischief and even excitement if Kirishima listened well enough.

“Training is cut short today shitty hair.”

-

“Come onnnn (L/n), how could you tell us you have a job then not tell us what it is?” The pink haired girl whined as she slid her upper half onto your lap and sighed dramatically.

Giggling slightly your eyes flicked to Kaminari across from you as his lips doubled over into a pout, “The whole point of having a job is so your friends can come crash it!”

“And to make some money dumbo.” You sneered, flicking his forehead gently while glancing down to Mina’s attempt at puppy dog eyes, “Besides, I didn’t want to tell you guys. You forced me to tell you where I went after school or you said you would doxx me.”

Your friends let out a sigh of defeat as Kirishima glanced to your boyfriend beside you, “C’mon Baku-bro not even you know where she works?”

Smirking slightly you placed a gentle palm on your boyfriends cheek and winked to him tauntingly,

“Not even Katsuki~”

Bakugou simply clicked his tongue and smacked your hand away, “I don’t know because I don’t fucking care.”

Oh but he did care. It ate away at him everyday that you refused to reveal where you worked. You claimed it would be “embarrassing” for him to see you working and wearing a uniform but he failed to understand why it would be. He brutally antagonized you all the time and you never bat an eye, why would he care if he saw you wearing a ‘Mini-Mart’ uniform?

You simply hummed at your boyfriend’s denial and leaned against his side.

“Say whatever you need to make you feel better love,” You purred, grinning at his scowl before you looked to your group of friends,

“Because you will never find out where I work, ever.”

-

Bakugou felt like he was in a state of euphoria as he stood before the quaint wooden doors, decorated with all sorts of pastel ribbons and paint.

It was almost as if he was entering the doors of heaven, the ultimate satisfaction of knowing he was about to beat you and your stupid threat.

And better yet, of all the places to find out you worked, it was here?

Oh he was going to enjoy this, even beyond getting revenge.

“Never find out my ass.” Bakugou sneered with a smirk, letting the soft breeze flow through his spiky locks as he tugged open the door into the unknown.

Meanwhile you were attempting to gracefully, yet quickly, get your uniform back on since your break ended in about thirty seconds. You hated how good you had gotten at putting on this stupid uniform, soon enough it would be second nature to you.

Working at a Maid Cafe wasn’t exactly where you planned to end up. When you stumbled onto the small podium in kindergarten to announce your future career, you surely didn’t say “I want to be a server at a Maid Cafe!”

And yet here you were pulling up the thigh high socks to your frilly, bow covered maid dress.

Admittedly when you were searching for jobs, you were surprised to find no luck. Any job that paid well required university years, and any left over job wouldn’t pay enough for your time to walk there.

It wasn’t until your aunt came to you in your troubles and recommended the job of your nightmares.

“My sweetheart why don’t you just work at my niece’s Maid Cafe? You’ll get to work with very sweet young girls about your age, and they pay very well since they have a very diverse clientele!”

Immediately you threw away the idea before you could even process it, the thought of having to serve gross old men and pretend to be excited while doing it didn’t sound appealing, let alone possible.

With that said, that didn’t mean your aunt was going to give up just yet. Without telling you she scheduled an interview for you, telling you if you didn’t show up it would make your family look bad.

Feeling the inevitable guilt throughout the day, you submitted into your aunt’s wishes and at least showed up to the interview.

Who knew? Maybe they would just let you be a janitor or something.

Sure enough they wanted you as a maid, but before you could even deny they offered double what any job had offered you, even the high paying ones.

“We know the job isn’t ideal, which is why we pay so much. A young girl like you would be just perfect here!”

Push came to shove, and somehow you ended up working at the cafe for a year and a half now.

You couldn’t lie, dressing up all cute and getting to hang out with a bunch of sweet girls was pretty fun. It beats mopping an empty grocery store with creepy co-workers.

With that said, the dread of having to deal with pervy customers and the existential fear of one of your friends walking through the door almost outweighed the pros of the job.

Luckily you had been able to escape doom for this long, so what are the odds that would change anytime soon?

-

The sound of the bell charming brought you back to your senses, quickly tying the silk bow behind your back you stumbled out into the break room to see your boss awaiting.

“Phew I thought you almost ditched us (L/n).” Your boss said with a wink.

Rolling your eyes you began walking backwards towards the swinging doors that led to the dining room.

“Have I ever failed you Miss Manager?” You purred with a grin.

Satisfied with her laugh you danced through the double doors, putting on your cute act once again. Only two hours left and you could go home and pig out on what was left in your pantry.

If that’s truly all it took, you didn’t mind turning on your “anime girl” side for a few hours.

Smiling at all the guests you made sure to check on everyone’s table before making your way towards the greeting podium. The doorbell went off so that meant some sort of customer was waiting to be sat.

Giving one last wink to a customer you whipped your head towards the front doors and gave a small bow before looking up.

“Welcome back to Maid Cafe master, would you like me to show you to your se..AHHHH!”

The moment your eyes met the sturdy figure before you, all senses jumped out the window as you screeched and jumped backwards defensively.

How.. How could this happen? This couldn’t be happening. All your intricate planning and anxious working to make sure no one you knew would ever catch you on the job.

And out of all the people in the world... it had to be Katsuki Bakugou.

Your ever so taunting boyfriend.

Sure enough Bakugou had a shit eating grin on his face, his eyes glowing with excitement for probably more reasons than you could count.

“Well well well, don’t you look familiar.”

At this point words weren’t even an option in your mind, you couldn’t tell if the cold spike of fear shooting up your spine was worse or the overwhelming heat that flared along your face.

Your little outburst didn’t go unnoticed by the guests and maids, all eyes moved to the two of you as you stumbled over your own words.

“Y..You- I.. but I.. and you! I can’t...”

“(L/n) is something the matter?”

The sound of your boss’ sweet voice from behind you caused you to shriek again as you now jumped to face her.

Feeling your face grow even warmer you avoided eye-contact with her, trying to use what was left of your slowly deflating brain to come up with an excuse to fix this entire mess.

“Yeah princess, is something the matter?”

Between the chilling tone and the pet name you physically shuddered, your head slowly peaking back to the problem at hand.

Bakugou couldn’t help but notice your reaction, sneering cockily as he looked down on you with pride.

“Zip it Bakugou-” 

“Ah ah..” Bakugou started before you could even finish your threat, “I believe you are supposed to refer to me as master.”

If your brain wasn’t broken before, it sure was now. Your internal mix of equally enjoying this and hating this had officially clashed and broken any sense at this point. All you could feel beyond anger at this point was complete and utter embarrassment.

“(L/n) you’re not having any trouble greeting our guest, are you?” Your boss questioned sternly.

You’ve honestly never heard her get so serious with you, given this was far from her angry side, but you hated disappointing your superiors.

Glancing around you still noticed some eyes on you along with your suspicious boss’. At this point there was no escaping the situation, and like hell were you going to give this bastard the satisfaction of your embarrassment.

“N..No ma’am, no trouble at all!” You said back in your sweet work voice, offering the best smile you could muster before twitching back to your smug boyfriend.

“Let me uh... let me show you to your table...” You stuttered out, grabbing a single menu before looking up at your expectant boyfriend’s expression. You knew exactly what the little shit was waiting for, and if you didn’t say it your boss would surely drag you to the back.

“Master.”

Bakugou sighed in dramatic satisfaction, clasping his hands together sarcastically and bending down to your level, “Fucking splendid.”

Gritting your teeth you glared into his crimson orbs before spinning on your heel, plastering the cute smile on your face so your boss could get off your back.

Once she seemed to notice you returned to your old state, she let out a gentle sigh and walked away to serve her tables.

At the very least you felt a bit less tense knowing she wasn’t following you like a hawk, but she was far from the problem at hand.

Quickly b-lining towards a table in the corner, you slammed the menu down and pulled out the chair, offering the most sarcastically pleasant smile you could.

Bakugou gladly took his seat, making sure to drag his hand along the small of your back on the way down. He throughly enjoyed each time you shivered from his touch, or even words.

First you decided to take his order, making sure all eyes were officially off the two of you. Once you decided the coast was clear, you quickly grabbed the collar of his tank top, as you bent down to be eye level with him.

“How did you find out about my job Katsuki.”

Bakugou grunted in surprise, catching himself quickly before he smirked back to your fuming expression. Oh how adorable you were when you were mad.

Your thick eyebrows would knit together in a deep focus and your plush lips would pinch into a perfect pout that drove him crazy.

As the blond smugly glanced over your features, his eyes flicked up only to notice other eyes were facing the two of you once again, only this time they only seemed to be on you. On your backside.

The way you were bending down seemed to perfectly expose your backside to the world, and your dumbass was too oblivious with him to even realize it.

Clicking his tongue, Bakugou placed a firm palm on the edge of your spine before shoving you down to your knees so the back of your dress would cover your backside once again.

The action caused a small yelp to escape your lips, you assumed he had done it to embarrass you which made you that much more mad.

“Answer. My. Question.”

Once the ash blond was satisfied with your state and he glared at any that dared to still look at you, he glanced back down to your fiery orbs with an unimpressed look.

Rolling his eyes he slapped your hand away causing you to huff before he shoved the photo Kaminari sent to him.

Glancing over the photo you eyes widened to see a photo of you through the window of the Maid Cafe assisting a customer.

Your cheeks began to glow red again as you worriedly looked up to Bakugou, “You guys actually doxxed me?!”

Bakugou raised a brow and snatched his phone back with a sigh.

“I didn’t, I can’t speak for that stupid dunce but I’ll deal with his reasoning later,” He explained before his dreadful smirk returned as he cupped the edge of your chin, “Back to the elephant in the room, how come you hid such a delicious fucking secret from your master.” 

As much as you would’ve loved this behind closed doors, to be openly embarrassed in public made your head feel like it was going to explode.

“S..Stop acting all smug you idiot!” You snapped, smacking his hand from your chin and standing up straight, “I hid this from you so you wouldn’t act like an egotistical dick.”

At this Bakugou barked out a laugh, the booming sound causing you to jump a bit as he slouched back in his chair, folding his arms with that smug grin.

“I think we’ve already come to the conclusion that my fucking ego is backed up, or have you forgotten doll?”

His piercing red eyes narrowed to your own, the sight making you blush as you jerked your head to the side and huffed.

“Can you order already idiot? I’ve got plenty of other orders to take.”

Bakugou simply smirked and picked up the menu, glancing down the options before shoving it in your arms.

“I’ll get two of the shitty rice bears,” He explained, grinning when he saw you look up with a raised brow, “I’ve got a hungry maid coming home soon waiting to please her master.”

Your confused expression turned into a flushed angry one as you snatched the menu from him and turned on your heel. You didn’t even remember what he asked for but at this point you didn’t care. You just wanted to hide from the customers so you could collect what dignity you had left.

The moment you brushed by the double doors you let out a sigh of relief as you rested your head against the back wall. Maybe if you closed your eyes and pinched yourself hard enough you would wake up from this horrible nightmare?

You could only imagine the things Bakugou was thinking. Does he think you’re some ditzy pushover maid girl now? Is he texting your friends telling them that you work here? Honestly Kaminari has probably already done that.

It was so nice having the upper hand on him for once, but now that he took every last bit of dignity and laughed in your face, you were doomed.

“Rough shift huh?”

Raising your brows you peaked an eye open to see one of your coworkers with a concerned expression. Standing up straight you fixed a piece of your hair and nodded.

“Yeah I guess you could say that..”

“How come you were acting so weird with that customer (L/n)-chan?” Your manager called from behind, carrying a bunch of plates as she walked beside your coworker, “Is it because he’s crazy hot?”

Folding your arms you let out a huff as you pouted your lips out,

“Try boyfriend.”

Both girls gasped in shock, your boss nearly dropping the plates in her hand as they looked two you in disbelief.

“Wow sorry for calling him hot, I never knew you had a boyfriend (L/n)! And a hunk at that~”

Letting out a slight chuckle, both your eyes fell on your coworker when she spoke up.

“You know this same thing happened to me with my boyfriend,” She spoke while tapping her finger against her cheek in thought, “I didn’t want him finding out about my job because I knew he would make fun of me, then one day he showed up and sure enough started making fun of me.”

Frowning you let out a sigh as you rubbed the side of your face exasperatedly, “My dumb boyfriend is doing that too! What did you end up doing with yours?”

Your coworker grinned as she shrugged.

“I simply fought fire with fire. Since he was making fun of me, I made him eat his words and watch me serve the other customers. He ended up getting so jealous he left!”

The advice she had given you finally brought warmth back to your numb body, you felt a grin rise to your face as you quickly wrapped your arms around your coworker.

“You are a lifesaver woman! I owe you so much for that advice.”

Your coworker simply laughed and hugged you back, happy to see you back in your normal cheerful state.

“Yeah have some fun but don’t ruin the experience for our other guests!” Your boss called out before walking out the door with the plates.

“I should probably get out there too, let me know if you need any help (L/n)-chan.” Your coworker said with a mischievous grin before dancing out the double doors.

Your mind was rushing with ideas, how could you of not thought of this before? Your explosive boyfriend could get jealous from a rock on the street, this would be the perfect pay back for you!

If he was going to come into your workplace and wreak havoc, you would do the same for his inflated ego.

Fixing up your dress you grabbed the two plates and narrowed your eyes towards the dining room.

“Bring it on Bakugou Katsuki.”

-

Oh did Bakugou feel pleased with himself.

Normally he hated skipping out on a workout, but this was worth it.

He couldn’t let the image of your adorable flushed expression and tense body escape his mind. Let alone that maid costume on you was divine on your plush skin.

The fact that you refused to wear a maid costume in the bedroom made it that much better, no wonder you were trying to hide this job from him.

The way the black silk hugged every curve, just tight enough to where your skin was overflowing from the material. And those thighs squeezing out of those adorable thigh highs drove him wild.

If he hadn’t made the best discovery of his life today, he would almost be mad you were strutting around in such a costume for anyone other than himself.

Deciding to wait another day to deal with that, Bakugou simply enjoyed the scenery and awaited for his girlfriend.

Just like clockwork he saw your form dance out of the backroom a bit too peppy. The thought of you “collecting” yourself in the back only made him sneer with a sadistic grin, he would simply break you all over again when you served him the food.

Just as you sauntered over to his table, the ash blond looked you up and down with a smirk, opening his mouth to say something truly condescending until your body turn away from him and towards another table.

“Here’s your panda shaped muffin and honeydew boba masters!” You spoke to the two customers at the table in front of him, “Is there anything else I can get for you my handsome masters?”

Bakugou felt his heart drop at the sound of you calling another living organism your master. Were you doing this on purpose? Is this usually how you talked to the shitty customers here?

His answer was confirmed when a small squeak escaped your lips and you bent down towards the table, your chest surely giving the two guests a show given their cherry lit cheeks as your thumb grazed across one of the customer’s cheeks.

“Silly master, you have some icing on your cheek.” You said with the most divine giggle he had ever heard. Gritting his teeth his entire world froze when you stuck the finger in your mouth and licked the white cream off clean, “No worries, I got it for you~”

The man before you looked like he was going to bust on the spot, his friend watching with his jaw dropped and eyes filled with jealousy.

Smiling sweetly you gave them one last bow, “Let me know if you need anything else masters!”

Just before you danced away from their table you glanced to Bakugou, giving him a small smirk as you looked him up and down with unimpressed eyes before sauntering away, leaving your explosive boyfriend on the verge of a breakdown.

You truly had a death wish. It was the only explanation for your actions. For almost a full hour you kept that act up, leaving the many guests within the cafe speechless and ogling over you. You knew exactly how jealous Bakugou could get, and you knew he hated admitting it.

Of course Bakugou also knew what a little tease you were. He didn’t miss the delight in your glistening eyes each time you taunted him, waiting for the repercussions of his wrath. But this...

This crossed the line of his sanity.

The ash blond tried to wait til your shift was over, he really did. As furious as he was with you, he wasn’t irresponsible enough to make you lose your job. But the moment your finger tips danced along the shoulder of a guest, any bit of restraint the male had left in his body had snapped like a twig.

The sound of him storming up from his table caused the immediate guests around him to look up, his silverware clanking against the pink trimmed plate as he made a direct line towards you.

Unfortunately for you, the scene your boyfriend caused went over your head as you continued to jot down the order from the customers before you. Focusing on your blossom shaped ordering pad you didn’t notice the horrified expressions on the customers before you as the saw an angry Bakugou storming up behind you.

“I’ll get those orders right up for you masters~” You exclaimed with a cute wink as you began to walk off until a firm hand wrapped around your wrist in a vice grip.

Bakugou could have loosened his bit a grip he realized when you let out a small yelp but he had already committed and like hell was he going to let you flirt with another damn customer right before his very eyes.

Your sweet words, gentle touches, suggestive actions... they weren’t meant for him and him only.

Immiedetly you recognized your boyfriend’s sharp hold and tried to tug your hand away so not to make a scene, but the ash blond simple spun your wrist around and pinned it to your back, giving him full control of wherever you walk.

With a squeak he shoved you forward, causing you to stumble over your own feet as he quickly pushed you towards the backroom.

You briefly met gaze with your boss as he shoved you by, your eyes pleading for help as they were filled with regret. Your boss opened her mouth, not sure what to even do.

“E..Excuse me sir? You can’t touch the-”

Before she could even finish her sentence Bakugou flashed a sharp glare to the woman, his crimson orbs thin from lack of patience and absolute fury.

Your boss was smart enough to know your boyfriend was truly about to go feral, for her life and your own she decided it was best to turn away and pretend she saw nothing.

You let out a small pout when you saw her attempt to serve the shocked guests, leaving you to be shoved into the backroom by a surely pent up Bakugou.

Once you reached the back you saw your coworker, the one that had given you such brilliant advice before, shoving a pastry in her mouth as she was on her break. Her eyes first fell on the dark lidded ones of your boyfriend before falling on your pleading fearful eyes.

Her mouth opened, unsure of what to say before closing.

“I’m uh.. gonna take my break outside.” She muttered softly, politely pushing the chair in and offering the best smile she could before she quickly shuffled out the back doors.

Once the room was clear Bakugou let go of your wrist, giving you a chance to stretch your arm back in it’s proper position before the sound of the back door slamming to a close caused you to shriek in surprise.

Bakugou couldn’t help but smirk as you jumped, as angry as he was he loved seeing you so on edge thanks to him. Returning to a serious expression he watched as you turned around, attempting to put on a serious face of your own.

“Bakugou you know I still have thirty minutes left of my shift-”

Trying to speak was hard enough as is with the thick tension in the room, but when the ash blond slammed his hands on either side of you against the wooden break table you let out a shriek and quickly sat back against the ledge attempting to gain some more space between you two.

The action made him chuckle dryly as he looked you up and down.

“You’re still going to act like a fucking brat huh? After the show you just put on?” Bakugou spoke lowly, his eyes drinking in the sight of your costume only swirling more pent up feelings within him, “Someone’s feeling spunky today?”

You bit at the corner of your lip, swallowing what left of saliva was in your dry mouth as you tried terribly to avoid eye contact.

“Hiding such a naughty job from me, and then when I catch you red handed this is the treatment I get?” Bakugou hisses with clenched fists, “You should’ve been at my fucking heel all day for keeping such a delicious lie from me and yet you taunt me like you’re the one in charge?”

His harsh words made heat rise to your cheeks as you looked down at your frilly dress, trying to find anything to look at besides his face. Surely you knew that wasn’t going to pass with him.

“Look at me when I fucking speak to you brat.” Bakugou growled, his eyes narrowing when he saw your lips pinch together stubbornly.

Letting out an annoyed sigh he grabbed your wrist roughly before shoving you back against the thin wall and grabbing your jaw harshly shoving it against the wall with a hard knock, forcing your eyes to meet.

The sight of your cheeks being squished together by his large palms and your wide glassy eyes forced to look into his own, he couldn’t hide his smug smirk as he felt you lightly tremor beneath him.

“Much better doll.” Bakugou cooed, voice laced with sarcasm as you both knew the next chain of events were about to get quite violent.

“Now, I was planning on patiently waiting for you to get off so we could take this conversation in private...” Bakugou spoke, eyes narrowing down to yours as he let out a sinister laugh, “Hell I even bought you a treat, I’m such a generous fucking boyfriend aren’t I?”

Your breathing was ragged as you stared up into his crimson eyes, your brain was so fogged by the situation that you hadn’t even realized what he asked until his grip on your jaw tightened.

“I asked you a fucking question.”

Blinking back to reality you nodded deserpatly, not daring to look away from his gaze as you let out a slight whimper that shot directly to his pants.

“Good.” Bakugou said with a dark smile before continuing on, “But now I cannot go along with that generous plan because you can’t go two seconds without acting like a fucking slut.”

The filthy words spewing from his lips caused your face to grow warm, the entire situation already had your silk underwear drenched, but his words alone caused you to brush your plump thighs together desperately.

Your actions didn’t go unnoticed by the ash blond as he roughly shoved a knee between your legs causing a whine to escape your lips when he refused to put any friction on your aching core.

“Even now you can’t help but act like a brainless bitch in heat.” Bakugou sneered with a grin, his hand on your jaw lowering to now grip on your neck gently so not to cut off any air.

“Because you’ve disobeyed me multiple times today, I’m going to have to set you straight right here in public so you know who truly has the power here.”

Your mouth opened to rebuttal as your eyes widened at his idea, but his hand only gripped tighter around your throat causing the words shove back down your throat.

“And then,” Bakugou hissed, “If you perform like a good little maid, I may give you what you want when we get home. Maybe.”

You let out a shaky breath as he narrowed his eyes down to you, trying to read what you were feeling right now.

“Now you’re going to be my good little slutty maid and serve me until I’m satisfied, you fucking got that?”

As Bakugou’s grip on your neck loosened, your posture relaxed a bit as you nodded to his question, only for the grip to return as he growled down to you.

“Try again.”

Biting your lip your thighs attempted to squeeze against his knee for any sort of friction at all as any conscious thought was clouded with ashamed lust for the man before you.

“Y..Yes master.”

[sheacouleecametoslay]

Season 6 (2014)

Season 6 is often regarded as the best Drag Race season ever. A part of me thinks Season 5 was better, but that season also had Roxxxy Andrews on it. There's no one that I truly can't stand on Season 6; the worst I can come up with is Magnolia having a bad attitude and Milk's style not being for me. Even Darienne Lake had her moments, which caught me by surprise on a rewatch. But I felt like Season 5 had more classic moments and classic characters ya know? Still I think I'm going to give both seasons the same grade. I think it's because Season 6 serves as the transition between the early years and the middle era; before the Untucked format changed, before Santino left. It's also when the show switched-up the "Cover Girl" transition. It's the first season where the queens are required to wear the same outfit in every confessional. And the term "She-Mail" is about to be axed from the show (finally), all thanks to that awful mini-challenge. This season has a strong set of challenges. The only ones I didn't like were the Chaz/Georgia interview and the wedding Makeover. Both of which had uncomfortable moments. Especially the latter, since one of the grooms was forced to do it by his fiancée, and he was visibly uncomfortable with the whole experience. Also, the design challenges in the double premiere had some lackluster runways in them. But other than that, Season 6 has one of the best Snatch Games. For once, more than just 3 queens are funny. We have the first ever Rusical, and this one involved live singing. It pitted the two singers Courtney and Adore against each other, and while some other queens fumbled their lines, and the April/Josyln/Laganja trio was a mess, it's often regarded as one of the best. The body painting mini-challenge was a cool idea too. The 90s Rap Battle was fun. Bianca killed the stand-up. And "Scream Queens" was a decent acting challenge. Episode 7 felt very contrived though. It was giving me flashbacks to the duets in Season 4. The pairings were obviously done on purpose - Adore & Laganja were having their friendship tested, Bianca & Trinity already had drama, Darienne & Ben also had tension, and Courtney & Joslyn had a celebrity/fan dynamic. The producers just put all the drama pairings together. In a way I'm glad that was the Double Shantay episode. Least of all because Darienne won that lip sync against Ben, and I doubt production wanted Ben gone so soon. It also affected the schedule, meaning that someone actually Sashay'ed in the final regular episode of the season. It also helps that the main song of Season 6 is "Sissy That Walk", which is probably Ru's signature song. It wasn't my favourite finale music video, but those weird poses in the photoshoot were... something. The double premiere is another factor that helped this season. It helped the audience get to know the queens better when it wasn't 14 people competing for screen time. It made the early boots feel less forgettable than usual. Untucked had Bianca asking Trinity "What do you do successfully", Laganja saying "I feel very attacked", Laganja breaking down in general.

Queens Ranking: 14. Magnolia Crawford In her intro, Magnolia kept changing her mind on how to label herself, before settling "glamorous trash queen". A description that didn't really apply to what we saw. She then metaphorically threw her hands up in the air after seeing the materials she had to work with. And that sour attitude is why she did so poorly. Her first runway was that basic cow-print, with the bow on her ass, and the unflattering dark nose contour. The judges read her for it and she got really defensive and irritated in response. She also blamed everything on the materials. I think Ru was done with Magnolia the moment she talked back lol. She said on Untucked she was just there for the exposure anyways. Did she even know the words to that lip sync? 13. Milk The original quirky queen. Milk was committed to doing her own weird thing and defying the accepted norms of RPDR; without a single regard for what the judges, or anyone else for that matter, thought about it. Her entrance look had toilet paper on her shoe. Her runways included a white beard, a Pinocchio nose, a baby bump, and of course Werk Room RuPaul in boy drag. That last one is why I put her bottom 3 for Snatch Game over Trinity. Milk is someone you either love or hate, and she definitely has her fans, but her style is not for me. In the challenges, she was okay in the beginning. But her Julia Child in Snatch Game was boring. And her rap verse included the line "if you're looking for a dude or in the preggers mood"; alongside some rather cringey dance moves in the video. Ironically enough, the round she left was the only time she did a "normal" runway. Also her lip sync moves to "Whatta Man" didn't match the song. 12. Kelly Mantle Kelly's whole story was that she had 17 years of drag experience, along with some acting experience, but it didn't materialize on the show. Her first runway was that horrible bacon dress with the red wig. She also started the season off with a subtle dig at Willam. She later made a dig at Vivacious's age. And... that's about all I got. A hint of shadiness to her personality but she's the one S6 queen I could consider "forgettable". 11. Darienne Lake The annual RPDR cockroach. Why she lasted until Final 4 just to be the most obvious final elimination this side of Alexis Michelle remains a mystery. I guess cuz she brought the drama? But Darienne delivered basic runway after basic runway. Her St Patrick's Day outfit landed her in the bottom 2 in her debut episode. The elephant outfit was tacky. Her goth Makeover didn't work out so well. And then there's the Glitter Ball!, where she had 3 of the worst looks of the entire season. That was not Executive Realness. Those dropping topaz jewels! She was also really bitter for some reason? She made comments on Milk's outfit, she said "why not just give her cement shoes and throw her in the water", and of course she had a random feud with Ben because Ben was gloating about her wins. Darienne also overestimated her challenge performances, even thinking she was top 3 in the Rusical when she was out of step with Gia. Moreover, her rap verse didn't describe who she is. And her interviewing was awkward. But Darienne had some comedic moments - she won as a talking head in a box, she interjected a bunch as Paula Deen in the Snatch Game, her stand-up was suprisingly solid, and she even won the Reading mini-challenge. Plus that lip sync where she grabbed the tips was fun. 10. Laganja Estranja The annual RPDR trainwreck. "OKURRRR"; "YASS GAWD". Laganja's death drop entrance is iconic, but she spent the entire season embodying this forced, phony, exaggerated weed-smoker persona. It's like she was trying to be someone that she's not, and it got really annoying. She had this posh voice in confessional. She'd come into the Werk Room with things on her head and Bianca would call her an attention-seeker. She got upset when her friend Adore outperformed her. And she wrote her stand-up routine underneath a desk. Speaking of which, that stand-up routine was such a WTF moment ("it's very dry, it's almost kinda like your vagina"). That was her persona cranked to an 11; the outfit was a choice too. Moreover, her Rachel Zoe in Snatch Game was robotic and unfunny. Still, her rap verse was alright; probably my 4th place. She pulled out the splits and death drops during her lip syncs. And her Best Drag runway was good. Laganja also got emotional in Untucked a lot; from Bianca joking about her parents video, to the iconic "I feel very attacked" episode, where she lashed out after being confronted about her persona. Even Adore was saying that isn't the Laganja she knows. 9. April Carrión April spent the season metaphorically burying her head in her hands, feeling doubtful in all 3 challenges. She wasn't happy with the Duck Dynasty box in the first episode, but she turned it out in the final product. It was the second best outfit from her group. In episode 2, she didn't know how to play a butch queen, but she delivered one of my favourite runways of the season - that umbrella with the blue string rain. But then the Rusical was another messy performance from April, and that was end of her run. She didn't have a big personality anyways. 8. Vivacious Vivacious is mostly this high for Ornacia. The way she struggled to unzip her outfit during her entrance lol. I think she was too old-school for what RPDR is looking for, especially by Season 6. She had 21 years of drag experience and labelled herself as the last original NYC club kid. That's era that she wanted to represent on the show and she wasn't going to change or compromise her style to adapt to the modern era. But I didn't like that black cone outfit either way. Also her Game of Thrones runway look sloppy. She even wanted to put a baby dragon on it and Ru was not won over lol. As for her performance in "Scream Queens", the producers could've edited out that long awkward pause, but her lines still lacked energy. 7. Courtney Act Courtney had great runways - the waitress outfit, the spreading bird wings, the Australian/aboriginal flag combination, the Ruby look in the Glitter Ball. But she's like Raja or Detox; I respect their craft but find them hard to root for. She came off like one of those celebrities who can't relate to non-celebrities. The lifestyle is so different. Her main criticism was that she lacked humanity. And she won the talk show challenge because she made an effort to rectify that. She also won the Rusical because her big vocal moments stole the show. She could've been top 3 in "Scream Queens" too if it weren't based on teams. But the rest of her challenge performances were very safe/mid. She seriously resorted to singing in her stand-up. I think the producers were giving Courtney a villain edit as well. She was pretty patronizing to Joslyn, who idolized her. It made it seem like she doesn't treat her fans well. She upstaged her Makeover partner. She spent her confessionals poking flaws in her competitors. And she showed off her body multiple times on the runway, giving Carmen Carrera flashbacks. Her entrance is still one of my faves though - when she pretended to walk into the wrong room. 6. Joslyn Fox "Keep it Foxy, wonk wonk". The utter lack of self-awareness with this girl. "I do like to eat at IHOP"; "I have house numbers" (Bianca: "it's your age"); "I've finally narrowed down my fabrics" (camera shows a giant pile of fabric); "I plan on being the black horse"; "I wanna lick Santino's head"... and that's just from her debut episode! She also gave us "not my cup of soup"; the "jumbo shrimp" joke and "I like gumbo". Joslyn had this giddy, smiling approach to everything. She was average in most challenges, and her runways were subpar (two episodes in a row of those straps; that overly busy Quinceanera outfit; that checkered thing in the stand-up), but her cluelessness was weirdly endearing. Her Teresa Giudice in Snatch Game was funny too ("Cumin!"). Her rap verse was good. She kinda slayed that P!nk lip sync. And her getting married in the finale was a nice moment. But Joslyn really crashed and burned in the latter half. She had one good joke in the stand-up. She wasted time choosing an outfit instead of preparing for the interview. She then asked Georgia Holt about abortion (and somehow thought that interview went well). And her demise was the Makeover, where production screwed her over by getting rid of the dark toned make-up after Trinity left. She was the obvious queen to go though. 5. Gia Gunn When Gia entered the Werk Room with that hula hoop purse, I thought she was going to be a top contender. She gave main character energy; between her rude reads in confessional and just being clueless - "What's a Tony?"; "I'm feeling my oats"; "Darinne, you know... my god... there's room for everybody let's just say that"; "well you girls... look good"; "I've never heard of a Delorean, for all I know it's a f**king ancient dildo"; "...if it's not giving it, maybe it's just not for you". Or even saying "absolutely" 3 times in a row to the judges. Or how poorly she sold her ideas to Ru in the Werk Room. Gia impressed with her first runway, even if I thought it was generic. But then came the performance challenges and... yeah, Gia was not a good actress or singer. Her ultimate downfall was the Snatch Game. Her Kim K was rough to watch. And she originally wanted to do Selena lol. BTW, can someone please tell Gia to get off of Twitter? Even on this season I get the vibe that she thinks she knows what she's talking about when she doesn't. But I don't think she crossed a line on this season? Unless I missed something. 4. BenDeLaCreme Ben should've stayed over Darienne, and it should've been a 4-person finale. I think the judges were too harsh on her. I mean, yeah the rapping challenge proved that she lacked versality. Her verse was so cringe ("Creminem!") and I would've put her in the bottom 3 for that. I also wasn't fond of her showgirl drag voice at first. But her down-to-Earth, mild-mannered out-of-drag voice balanced things out. She had one of the best Snatch Game performances ever as Maggie Smith ("excuse me we originated the language"). She won the first challenge with that cheesecake thing. I liked her Chaz/Georgia interview better than Courtney's. She could've won the "Scream Queens" challenge, but was stuck on the losing team. She was top 3 in the Rusical. And I almost gave her the win for the Makeover. Ben was strong this season. She came off professional and well-trained. Her bug and her fur runways were great as well. Her low points were the stand-up routine, where she just rambled on and on and got heckled. The cosmetics ad, but I think her and Darienne were set-up; and I don't know why they aimed it at plastic surgery users. And of course the Glitter Ball, where her first two looks were disappointing. 3. Adore Delano "Party". Adore is weirdly charming for someone who was unprepared and unprofessional for many challenges this season. The first few episodes were a wake-up-call that she couldn't skate by. She had no sewing skills, and it showed in that horrible Honey Boo Boo dress. It was even stuck to the mannequin! Next episode she was team leader and rushed through assigning the roles, which ended in disaster. Her acting wasn't the worst though. She was also read for not cinching her waist early on. The Rusical began her redemption arc, where she stood out as the star of her group. After that, she was funny as Anna Nicole Smith in Snatch Game. And she embodied 90s rap the best. But then she stumbled again - her stand-up routine was messy (but at least she had jokes), she was unprepared for the Chaz/Georgia interview, and her wedding Makeover was rough. She bounced back a second time by winning the Glitter Ball, but her 2nd look wasn't as good; and I only liked the 3rd one for the presentation of it. Adore knew how to work the runway. I thought her Aretha lip sync was too intense though. Adore had this casual approach to the show, while still wanting to prove herself. She kinda came off as someone that I'd want to be friends with? and I think that's why her charm worked. 2. Trinity K. Bonet Introvert queen! That entrance was so awkward when she was waiting with Bianca lol. Trinity's story was her reluctant attitude in the challenges. She let her acting  inexperience get in her head and it put her in the bottom 2 three times. It reached a boiling point during the Rusical episode, where she was very grumpy during rehearsal and later lashed out in the Werk Room. Still, I felt there was worse offenders each time she was in the bottom 2. Sure Trinity tripped over a line in the Rusical, but at least she was in sync with Bianca. Her rap verse lacked conviction, but she had better writing than some others. She kept calling Chaz Bono "Chad" in the interview, but how is that worse than an abortion question? Her Nicki Minaj in Snatch Game wasn't great either. But at the same time, those bottom 2 placements lead to Trinity becoming the Lip Sync Assassin of Season 6. She was the best lip syncer in the cast, and one of the top runway queens too - the Princess Party, the hippie, the domino dress, the bird feathers. I think she should've won the cosmetics ad with Bianca (that was a missed storyline opportunity), but her stand-up routine the next episode was even better redemption moment. Otherwise, her HIV confession was an emotional moment. And I didn't like when her enunciation was criticized. 1. Bianca Del Rio As if anyone else was going to be #1. This season was a cakewalk for Bianca - no one else stood chance. It was almost unfair to the other competitors. She was never in the bottom 3. She never flopped a challenge. She was cracking remarks in her entrance. She never stopped hurling those insulting remarks or reality checks at her fellow queens in the Werk Room or Untucked. And not only is Bianca one of the best comedy queens in RPDR herstory, she had strong runways too. Two of her wins were actually design challenges. She won her debut episode with the Hawaiian Luau dress, which is my favourite look of hers. The black-and-white one and the Best Drag one are up there too. Her Judge Judy in the Snatch Game came so naturally to her and it would've won in another season. Her rap verse was good. And her peak moment was the stand-up routine; she absolutely killed it. She also won the Makeover challenge (that wedding dress looked well-made) and she probably should've won the Glitter Ball too. Bianca's relationship with Trinity was a major part of the season as well; she was like a frustrated drag mother showing tough love. They were paired together in the cosmetics ad and pulled it out. Bianca also helped Adore with her outfits. Bianca had a soft side and she wasn't serious with the insults; that distinction makes all the difference. Favourite entrance: Gia Gunn (episode 1) / Trinity K. Bonet (episode 2) Challenge ranking: 1. Snatch Game 2. 90s Rap Battle 3. "Scream Queens" (Acting) 4. Shade: The Rusical 5. Stand-up routine 6. Glitter Ball 7. Cosmetics adverts 8. "Sissy That Walk" Music Video 9. Party box couture (Design Pt 2) 10. TV shows couture (Design Pt 1) 11. The RuPaul Show (Talk show/Improv) 12. "Drag My Wedding" Makeover Lip Sync ranking: 1. Adore Delano vs Trinity K. Bonet ("Vibeology") (should've been the Double Shantay) 2. April Carrión vs Trinity K. Bonet ("I'm Every Woman") 3. Milk vs Trinity K. Bonet ("Whatta Man") 4. Joslyn Fox vs Laganja Estranja ("Stupid Girls") 5. BenDeLaCreme vs Darienne Lake (1) ("Point of No Return") 6. April Carrión vs Vivacious ("Shake It Up") 7. Adore Delano vs Joslyn Fox ("Think") 8. Gia Gunn vs Laganja Estranja ("Head to Toe") 9. Kelly Mantle vs Vivacious ("Express Yourself") 10. Darienne Lake vs Magnolia Crawford ("Turn The Beat Around") (messy but Dari was fun) 11. Top 4 Lip Sync ("Sissy That Walk") (zzzz + fake split screen editing) 12. BenDeLaCreme vs Darienne Lake (2) ("Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)") (zzzz) Every season has had an obvious #1 lip sync so far Season ranking so far: 5 > 6 > 4 > 2 > 3 > 1 > AS1

[starshavegoneastray]

Perfect Lovers

Angst // h.hj

Inspired by Félix González-Torres 'Untitled (Perfect Lovers)' 1991; an installation art.

CW // loss of a loved one

1,923 Words

IT has been a while since Hyunjin came out of his apartment. The door to his unit creaked louder than he anticipated, but couldn’t blame the lack of new oil it required in order to work. Green carpet under his soles felt a little different from the last time he mindlessly trudged and tumbled into his cold unit. Newly painted hall greeted him, and before he knew it, he was waving politely at the landlord as he stepped outside of the building.

His blonde hair, caught by the wind as cars passed by, had gone longer than the last time he locked himself, reaching just above his shoulders in a half up half down. For sure it hadn’t been long, but the new stores that opened up right next to the bakery he visited often made it seem like he’d missed at least three months.

That was enough time for Hyunjin to get cooped up inside his tiny living space, free from any pain he had to endure. It was just the right number of weeks for him to be by himself, to look for some sort of interest in order to get his mind off the unpleasant thoughts hunting him for the past weeks.

Painting was one of the things he did, recalling the amount of oil paints and canvases littering across his apartment floors. He’d given up on sketching because the only image running around his head was you. The outcome made him light a match and let it eat the paper into ashes. A similar occurrence happened the last time he painted, but instead of setting the building on fire he decided to dump a whole bucket of lightning blue over it, then left it as it is in his work room.

Part of him wanted to rekindle that passion again, to get his brush going across the canvas and start over. But he lost the spark to ignite his flames, and morning came to replace the light he lost. Leaving him to scout for some sort of exit during the darkening night. He’d doused himself in bottles and bottles of booze the other night, and woke up the next morning with a booked ticket to an exhibit downtown on his laptop.

Hyunjin took his time wandering amongst the crowd, feeling the warmth of the room as people gathered around a few installations placed along the way, and paintings hung up on walls. Some visitors came in batches of elementary students in their orange uniforms, there were groups of (possibly) art students admiring another philosophical work, then there were the interested couples. He came alone in his cream knit vest, black cross bag and a pamphlet in his hands.

There was a mini map of the exhibition inside the neatly folded paper between his fingers, and he began at the very first spot his eyes landed on which were the paintings. Hyunjin stared at a few fancy frames, before moving along to the next in hopes of catching a glimpse of interest within the colors, the shapes, perspectives, anything.

He looked at his pamphlet again then proceeded to the next part of the exhibit. Sculptures in many shapes and sizes stood on white pedestals, behind glass boxes, and even stood on their own to showcase its amazing heights. More people took pictures here, seeing this is a perfect spot for such activity. Hyunjin, after looking around at the people pulling their phones and posing for the camera, fished for his own from the pocket of his jeans and snapped a clay statue that he thought looked like a memorable piece. A smile crept up his full lips, chuckling as he slid his fingers across the screen at the picture he took.

Y/n would love this.

Hyunjin’s lips faltered slowly. Just when he thought he could put down the weights from his shoulder, he couldn’t. Not now. Not even after three whole months. Every time he gets a little happy, he thinks of you. And you were the reality he’s not ready for. With a push of a button, his screen turned void and he shoved his gadget back from where he took them before walking to the next part of the exhibit.

Nothing caught his eye. Not the paintings, not the statues, not the impressive wall art on one side of the building. For starters, he never really frequently visited an exhibit. He started going to some back in the day because of someone’s influence. Someone who would go out of their way to get two entry tickets and accompany him despite their responsibilities and schedule. The same person who would be the first to point out an artist’s work and the meanings behind the intricate strokes, dents, parts, and smudges. The very individual who taught him how to paint.

He kept glancing back and forth towards the pamphlet once he realized he’s stepping into the installations exhibit; the field of art he’s having trouble understanding. Nothing ever makes sense in his eyes, as his steps progress deeper into more stacks of cups, papers, possibly metals displayed on the floor. His eyes jumped from one installation to the other, and all he could process were the odd-looking mismatched objects glued to one another. But he knew for a fact it was because he did something wrong, not because the language doesn’t click.

Take your time, the three words lingered like an aftertaste of a bitter coffee in the shape of your voice. That was what he did as soon as his eyes landed on two clocks hung up on a wall side by side. Félix González-Torres was written on a card right next to the installation, under the title that named the art:

‘Untitled (Perfect Lovers)'.

Take your time, and it’ll all make sense.

Two of the same clocks ticking by the same exact time like what they are and what they’re intended to do; to tell the time. Their needles ticked by the number ten, then ran past eleven. Hyunjin chuckled after the hour hands slightly moved closer to the number seven simultaneously as the seconds morphed with the minute hand on twelve. Upon closer inspection, it was his first time seeing an hour hand move. Nothing fascinating, but now that he thought about it, he’s a quick-paced guy; he never stopped for once to take in the smallest things around him.

Different from how you were. He could almost see it, you would probably stop on your tracks as well, and stared at the two clocks which bore a deep meaning that only few could understand. Installation is a language that took some time to perceive, it’s a different concept of relaying opinions, messages, or a story. The language of art isn’t just from how visually pleasing it is, but also how the message behind it resonates with the people who interact with it. It’s not what you see in it, but it’s how you feel when you see it. Because it captures emotions and memories that exist without a visual form.

Hyunjin never got that idea through his head, especially when he encountered the particular abstract movements. But perhaps his perspective changed once he noticed the right clock began ticking a little slower than the left, gradually falling behind and out of sync; as many clocks do.

Eventually one of them would stop working as the exhibit went on.

For many reasons, you were the very first person he thought of. Fights were a repetitive occurrence but it never tore you apart from each other. And even when disagreements filled the gap, somehow you both found a way to come to terms with it. Your dynamics brought the best out of him, even he was surprised himself. And the both of you had the craziest idea of holding onto each other, until time did their worst and pulled you apart from his grasp on one spring.

Despite the green hues covering his steps, the grey morning he returned from your funeral was one of the hardest things he had to do. Walking back out was another hell he didn’t want to live in, so he locked himself in where he could succumb into an indefinite amount of sorrow and grief at the loss of the love of his life.

Perhaps the harsh reality pushed him at his worst, locking you up in his attic, only to have you drip down the ceiling and he could only see you, you, and you. Even in his dreams, all he saw was you.

The only argument he couldn’t come to terms with was the fact that you’re not here to hold onto him anymore.

But the title still remains ‘Perfect Lovers’. Even when the two hands fall from each other, going their separate ways, or stop dead on their tracks, they were the best for one another. His heartbreak was the evidence of your unconditional love. A mark that will forever be remembered as your beautiful life that collided with his at the imperfectly perfect timing. Despite the circumstances, despite the abrupt end to your chapter with him, you remain as his perfect lover.

**

It was a small flower shop that opened right next to the bakery Hyunjin stopped by. Warm scent of croissant filled up the air as he leaned back onto the white chair, scrolling back through his phone as another warm loaf met his full lips.

“Did you visit the exhibition?” A voice made him crane his neck to see the owner of the little bakery in his white apron pulling a chair to sit next to Hyunjin. He nodded as a reply, munching slowly at the warm bread while letting his friend see the pictures he took.

“You know, Minho,” Hyunjin began to speak, putting down the goods on the plate as he did so, “I thought my time would stop the second hers did.”

Minho listened intently, not too sure where he’s going with the conversation. “But I guess, even soulmates aren’t synchronized.”

Hyunjin looked around the afternoon sunlit streets. Orange hues kissing the autumn leaves that fall from their respective trees adorning the chalkboard sign he drew an hour ago for the bakery. Minho exhaled, taking Hyunjin’s phone gently and swiping a few pictures until he stopped at one with two store bought clocks that was supposed to be deemed an art.

“Is that another philosophy you learned for today?” The question made the blonde boy lean back on his chair, crossing both arms on his chest and said, like it’s a matter of fact, “It’s a new language I learned.”

A tiny small pulled the sides of Minho’s cheeks at his friend’s little banter, it has been a while since he’d last heard of Hyunjin’s sassy remarks. Pinching and zooming the photo, Minho asks again, “And what do you think about it?”

“I think…”

He thought of your eyes, the crinkly ones every time a smile adorn your face at the paintings he finished, or the paints he threw your way, coloring a few strains of your hair. And the way you cried in front of an art you resonated with the most, as if the world you see was filled with the same frequency of affection, despair, desire, sadness, or happiness that none could muster or perceive. Your heartfelt emotions that never fail to make him fall harder every day. And he knew definitely how you’d feel if you’d come along.

“…Y/n would have loved it as much as I do.”

[jpegjade]

Baby Delivery Day! - Spencer

WELCOME TO DAD!SPENCER TIME! 

Thank you to the anon who made me think about Spencer being a dad! But I’ve decided that any time I think about Spencer being a father, I’m going to write about it. I guess you could call that a series? Idk man. It’ll be sporadic though so there’s no schedule for it. So this won’t be the last of dad!Spencer

Warnings: Swearing. Lots and lots of swearing in the beginning. Also fluff. Lots and lots of cuddly fluff and happy dad!Spencer. 

_________

Twins. Twins. Twins. Spencer kept saying it to himself but it never registered. Twins… “Oh fuck, I’m having twins.” 

“Last time I checked, you weren’t carrying two extra people inside of you so shut the fuck up.” You said, gripping his hand hard. It was baby day and all you could do was yell at him because you were in pain. He wasn’t phased by it because each time you said something, you immediately followed it up with, “Oh god I’m so sorry baby. I promise I’m not doing it on purpose.” And that was immediately followed by more groaning in pain. 

“Okay, breathe. Your contractions are getting close enough to get an epidural, which will significantly help. Just don’t think about the statistical probability of significant nerve damage with the injection of the-” 

“Spencer goddamn Reid, I swear to god. This isn’t the time to be fucking smart, you smartass.” You said. “Oh fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

He kissed your hand, staying by your side. The nurse came in to check on your vitals and see how you were feeling. She stayed for a moment, looking over at Spencer’s eager face. Of course, he was eager. He was going to be a dad. He couldn’t stop smiling, which pissed you off because you were in the worst pain of your life. He finally got to fulfill his dream of being a father to his own kids. Not a godfather, not an unrelated uncle, a dad. 

For months, the two of you had been talking about having a kid. A single kid. One. Uno. But when you got to the ultrasound that day, you found out you were having two and you passed out. He had never been so scared for your health and excited for kids. When you came to, he wouldn’t stop talking about how there were two little Reids waiting to come into his life, waiting to change his life forever. 

“Baby, please climb in with me. It hurts so badly.” You said, trying to stay calm. Unlike Spencer, you were scared out of your mind. You didn’t know how to interact with kids, let alone raise them, and now you were terrified that you were going to fuck them up from birth. 

Spencer climbed in the hospital bed, although half of him was barely on it. It was so small for 4 people to lay in. Four people, thought Spencer. He put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into him. 

“In a couple hours, we’re going to be parents…” He said, almost to himself. It was quiet in the room when you weren’t groaning in pain from a contraction. He put on classical music on his phone and put it next to your stomach. 

“Spencer if you don’t turn that shit off, I will kick you out of the room and deliver these demons on my own.” You threatened him. Classical music always made them move around and the last thing you wanted was for the little ones to move anywhere. 

“Okay, sorry.” He grinned, kissing the top of your head. You fell into another silence, interrupted by screaming. 

“Go. Get. The. Nurse.” You said through gritted teeth. Spencer slid his arm from behind you and almost ran into the door with excitement. It was finally time to get these babies out into the world, literally. 

Spencer was supportive through the whole process. Hours of pushing and a scare later, you had two beautiful girls. The genders were a surprise until this moment, when you held the second born in your arms. She almost didn’t make it due to a complication but the doctors were amazing at figuring it out. 

“Oh my god…” Spencer said, holding his older daughter in his arms. “Baby, you did it…” He whispered. He was so scared of waking them up that he refused to speak louder than a whisper. As the two of you laid in the hospital bed together, holding your daughters, you couldn’t help but get choked up. 

“Spence… What did we do?” You said, a mix of emotions finally showing themselves. You didn’t know what you were feeling but you knew it was a mix of things rushing at you all at once, not all of them good. 

The nurse came in exactly when Spencer was about to answer. She came to get the girls so they could be placed with the rest of the babies for a little while. He was disappointed but excited because that meant he could show the team his daughters as they slept in their small beds. 

“We created a miracle.” He said, taking you in his arms. He was so happy that the pregnancy stage was over. You were much nicer when you weren’t in extreme amounts of pain. But he was really glad it was over because he missed being close to you. When you were carrying the girls, you seemed so far away. Now, he could hold you close like before. 

“What if I fuck them up? What if I passed something down? What if…” You trailed off, not able to look at him. 

“Hmm?” He said, curious about what you had to say next. He had something prepared already but he waited for you to finish first. 

“What if I’m bad at this? I know you’ll be an amazing dad but… What if I’m not good enough?” You finally looked up at him to see his face relaxed as if the idea didn’t phase him. Probably because it didn’t. There was something annoying but comforting in the fact that he wasn’t bothered by your worries. 

“Right now, the only way you could fail is by forgetting I’m right here with you. Who knows what kind of parents we’re going to be. My dad walked out on us. I had to take care of my mom, even now. Your parents fell out of love with each other and you suffered because of it. We weren’t led by prime examples in our lives so our parental compass isn’t great. But we know what not to do. We know the effects of negative reinforcement and we have the chance to make things right by taking it one step at a time. So that’s what we’re going to do. Take it one day at a time.” He said, never breaking eye contact with you. 

“Okay.” Was all you could say before he brought you in for a sweet kiss. 

“Hey y/n?” He said, an eager look on his face. “Can I show the team the girls?” 

“Only if someone stays with me while you’re gone. I like Penelope. She’s adorable and I think she loves me.” You said, watching Spencer slow roll off the bed. You groaned because you were still sore from hurling two beautiful angels from your body. 

“I’ll go get her.” Spencer kissed you one more time, a longer kiss, before he nearly skipped out of the room. 

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself. Yawning, you didn’t realize how tired you really were. You closed your eyes for just a couple seconds. Penelope walked in to find you sleeping soundly so she sat in the chair next to your bed and started building a castle out of all the jello she requested from the Nurses’ Station. She also added some of your favorite show’s mini figurines. 

Meanwhile, Spencer was hugging everyone else in the waiting room. They all congratulated him, so excited that they got to see the two newest additions to his family. 

“There they are, the ones without names.” He said, pointing to the two beds pushed next to each other. The other beds had some space between them but it was like the nurses knew these two had a little bit more of a bond with each other. 

“Pretty boy has twins!” Morgan said, slapping him on the shoulder. 

Spencer had kept so much of the pregnancy a secret because everything was touch and go for a while. Once he was sure everything was permanent, he was able to tell them things. He kept this part a secret the whole time though because it seemed like a great surprise. 

“I’m proud of you, Spence,” JJ said, hugging Spencer again. She had been detrimental in keeping you and Spencer sane during this whole process.

Hotch shed a tear. An actual tear and a smile. He knew how long and hard Spencer had fought to keep his hope in love and the world alive and now, Spencer looked like he was glowing like never before. 

For the next 20 minutes, everyone was gathered in the hallway as they watched the girls sleep and turn over. The older daughter smiled in her sleep and Spencer almost broke down. When it was time to feed them, they all said goodbye to Spencer and he returned to your room. 

Walking in, the girls were already there but you were curled up and gently snoring. One of the beds was empty but when he looked at Penelope, tears were running down her face as she smiled. Out of everyone, she was the most excited about the two of you having kids.

“We were supposed to ask together but I guess I’ll have to do it alone,” Spencer said, picking up the younger born. The way he could tell them apart was a little black freckle that the younger one had on her left cheek while the older daughter had it on her nose, like a piercing. 

“Are you about to ask me to be the godmother? Because I will start sobbing.” Penelope said. Her eyes twinkled with more than tears. 

“I was but if you’re going to cry then I’ll wait until a more appropriate time than when you’re holding the second light of my life.” He said, looking down at his daughter. 

“Yes, yes, yes.” She said, smiling. “Who’s my baby daddy?” She said, just curious about the godfather. 

“Morgan.” Spencer said, his daughter’s tiny hand grabbing onto his finger. He was open and closing her tiny hand because he was just fascinated and she grabbed on and wouldn’t let go. Slowly she opened her eyes and he smiled at her. 

“Oh so my baby daddy is my babies’ daddy.” Penelope said, in a complete joke. 

“Penelope, meet Alexandria Maeve Reid.” You said, barely opening your eyes. 

Spencer’s breath hitched in his throat. “What?” He was barely able to get out. 

You and Spencer had played around with names before but he never told you about the middle name thing. Fresh tears came to his eyes at the thought of it. 

“And Spencer has Chloe Gideon Reid.” You were more exhausted than ever. “I thought about it and Spencer left the options up to me so I just went with it. I hope that’s okay, baby.” 

You barely had the strength to stay awake any longer so you went back to sleep as soon as Spencer climbed into bed with you, Chloe in his arms. 

“Hi Chloe…” He said. Almost on queue, she opened her eyes and stared at him with a little smile spreading on her face before she closed her eyes again. He looked over at Alexandria, who was opening and closing her hands. “Hi baby Alexandria…” He whispered. 

__________

Dad!Spencer makes me so angry at CM bc he would be the best dad. 

Tags: 

@winchestertardis

@ancailinaerach

[scoutception]

A look at: Moon.

Writing reviews is always a learning experience for me, and one of the important things I’ve learned is that, sometimes, it’s pretty hard to write about certain individual games, visual novels, or such considering the kind of detail I like to go into. Therefore, this will be the first in a new series of mini reviews, or as mini as they get with me. Maybe there’s just not enough to a game to really give me details to dig into, or maybe it’s difficult to talk about without giving away more than I wish, or maybe there’s just something related to it that I’m more interested in talking about than the actual product; whatever the reason, these will hopefully be less rambly and excessive than my usual reviews, while still giving enough of an overview that they stand as proper reviews on their own. Either way, the subject of this post is an old, obscure visual novel from 1997 with a bit of history to it, called Moon.

Moon was developed by Tactics, a humble developer of adult visual novels, and was the second one developed by them, with the first, Dōsei, seemingly just being, well, a plain H-game, and the third, One ~To the Radiant Season~, while still obscure, is actually fairly notable for being a prototype to Kanon in a lot of ways, as many key staff at Tactics would later break off to form Key afterwards, with them having also worked on Moon beforehand. Thus, Moon is in a very interesting spot when it comes to the progression of the developers that would change VNs as a genre with the release of Kanon, and that’s really the only reason I checked it out.

Moon follows Ikumi Amasawa, a girl who joins a mysterious organization called Fargo, which recruits others with the promise of acquiring an alleged “invisible strength” that can put one far ahead of ordinary humans, in order to investigate their possible connections to the murder of her mother, and if possible, take revenge on the ones responsible. Upon arriving at the Fargo facility, Ikumi quickly befriends two other initiates with ulterior motives of their own for joining: Haruka Mima, a determined girl with a cool attitude who keeps her goal to herself, and Yui Nakura, a cheerful, but naive girl who’s seeking to bring home her older sister, who joined Fargo several months prior. Though the three agree to become allies and help each other achieve their goals, they are quickly separated in different “classes” housed in different buildings, with Ikumi being assigned to Class A, the most prestigious of them all. Settling into her new life as a Fargo initiate, which mostly consists of “training” with the Minmes and Elpod, machines that confront her with various parts of her very troubled past for the purpose of “mental reinforcement” in the form of a vengeful doppelganger of herself, Ikumi gradually discovers many strange things about her situation, such as there only being one other member of Class A, that being Youko Kanuma, a quiet, cold woman who has been part of Fargo for many years. Additionally, Ikumi is forced to share her room with a strange boy who doesn’t volunteer his name, who, though part of Fargo itself, is quite low ranking, and more than a bit dim witted at times. Worst of all, upon finding a passage that allows her to access the buildings where her allies are kept, Ikumi finds that the other classes are subjected to horrific abuses by Fargo’s personnel in order to further their mental reinforcement. As Ikumi struggles to aid her allies however she can, the confrontations with her past begin to put a heavy strain on her mind, and the existence of the invisible strength Fargo claims to have starts to become more and more plausible.

Needless to say, Moon isn’t exactly Clannad. I did not know much about this VN before I got into it, and finding it to be a psychological horror VN was a bit of a shock. Even more of a shock was just what form the majority of the horror came in. You see, even though One ~To the Radiant Season~, Kanon, and Air were all released as adult games, the h-scenes are very disconnected from the plot, most of the time, to the point of losing nothing from skipping them or even removing them from the game, and were pretty much just obligatory inclusions to help them sell better. From Clannad onward, most Key VNs have been clean to start. With Moon, on the other hand, you can’t go 5 minutes without running into some explicit scene, the main source being the Elpod sequences and the abuses the Fargo personnel inflict, and it wastes no time getting to them, at that. This is the biggest thing that drives off many of the few who go out of their way to experience Moon, and even with me having just watched an understandably censored playthrough of this on Youtube due to its shorter length, I almost quit very early into it, and definitely would have if I had actually played it. The Elpod is one thing, as the sequences are used for the purpose of developing Ikumi, but even then, most of them are just excessively disgusting more than disturbing, and that goes doubly for the sequences outside of it. Instead of really changing things up, they’re just content to get gradually more and more depraved, and outside of disgusting, the main thing I can even call them is repetitive. This is one of my biggest problems with Moon, and it was pretty hard for me to get into it because of it.

Another major problem I have with Moon is how it handles its cast. Moon is pretty short for a VN, only around 10 or 11 hours if you go straight for the true ending, and even though there are 7 endings in total, they don’t add much more time onto that, with two being worse variants on the true ending, and the rest being bad endings gotten through making bad choices. Having as small a cast as it does should naturally work fine with that, but they really aren’t balanced well. While Ikumi gets developed across the whole game, and Yui gets a good arc pretty early on, Haruka only gets a short arc that ends as quickly as it starts and doesn’t do a lot for her, Youko barely has any screentime despite establishing a good dynamic with Ikumi, and the boy doesn’t have much presence or relevance until late in the story. The pacing is just bizarre and rushed feeling.

That’s not to say there aren’t a number of good points to Moon’s story. Ikumi is very well developed throughout the story, with the Minmes in particular leading to many melancholic scenes that make her quite sympathetic, and were definitely the high points of the normally rigid daily schedule much of the story takes place during for me. Despite the story’s flawed handling of some of them, the cast is still decent on a whole, with Youko’s gradually developing friendship with Ikumi and Yui’s development during her arc being some of the more memorable parts for me. The atmosphere is very well done, with the cramped, depressing corridors of the facility always feeling like they’re hiding something awful just around the corner, especially since you need to manually navigate the place using a map screen, and once the plot really kicks into high gear things become much more compelling, with the final days containing many high points in characterization and an infamous mindscrew of a sequence that, once looked back on with a more understanding eye, is actually quite fascinating in its own right.

Visually, Moon’s art was done by Itaru Hinoue, the same artist as the majority of Key’s VNs, and it’s a lot rougher than the art of, say, Kanon. It’s not outright bad, but it looks very dated, with the designs and sprites not really sticking out. The CGs vary in quality, as some look pretty ridiculous, but others are quite good. Most impressive, though, is two animated intro sequences included in the DVD version, which happens to be the only version with an English patch anyway. They’re fairly brief, but do a great job of setting up the atmosphere and premise despite that.

On the sound side, the soundtrack is great. It’s not a very big one, with only about 16 tracks, and the use of them can get a bit repetitive, but most of them are just a joy to listen to. From the electronic and tense Closed Space, to the wistful, yet peaceful The Place Where the Sun Shines, to Youko’s ethereal theme, to the credits theme, Sorrow, and especially the nostalgic music box theme, Memory, it’s worth looking up even if you hold no interest in the VN itself. There’s also voice acting, also added in the DVD version, and most of it is just average, with not many performances standing out, with the exception of Kahoru Sasajima as Ikumi, who delivers a very solid performance, especially during the more intense moments.

Overall, Moon can be a pretty hard sell. While I thought it was a decent experience by the end, its very offputting content, lack of similarity to any other Key works, and bleak atmosphere can make it pretty hard to go through even if you’re prepared for what’s to come. Even if you wanted a horror VN, there’s plenty others out there, like Chaos;Head and Chaos;Child, Higurashi: When They Cry, Wonderful Everyday, Raging Loop, or just about anything from nitro+. That said, if you can stick to the end, I definitely feel it becomes fairly satisfying, and when I got to thinking, I realized something that actually boosted my opinion quite a bit just by itself. As much as Moon is a story about cults and psychic powers with a somewhat unclear point to it all, it’s even more so just a story about a very troubled youth struggling with her grief, irrationally falling in with a bad crowd, and being forced to face her past and actions if she wishes to accomplish anything. Looking at the story that way, it’s actually quite well done, and going in with that in mind may even make it a bit more palatable. Still, I wouldn’t especially go out of my way to recommend it, and ultimately it’s still very far from being one of my favorite visual novels out there. Either way, that concludes my first mini review, which still turned out longer than I thought it would. My next post will be something unusual for me as well, but that’ll take a bit to come. Till next time. -Scout

[southwalessubculture]

Recovery - Special Ending

It’s been a month since the first part of Recovery was released, so here’s a special little thing for you in celebration of my first series on this account!

 This is the original ending of Recovery, which was meant to be a poly!Timperium fic, but I ended up writing a choose-your-own ending style that was heavily inspired by @wresimagines and their CYOE mini-series, The Right Choice. 

This is also, in a sense, a thank you: for reading my content, for following and liking and reblogging and requesting and giving me a reason to keep writing. This blog has been very self-indulgent, but I can easily say that I wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t for you guys; for @wresimagines and @darbysallins for letting me throw my ideas blindly into their DMs, @the-desert-dancer and @lghockey for constantly being in my notes (which is always appreciated), @markostuntthesehoes for literally being the inspiration to the start of this blog, and to anyone that’s ever interacted with or even just read my stuff. You’re why my blog has grown, why it’s continued and evolved. Thank you all for sticking with me through everything, the hiatuses and the broken as hell post schedule and the constant whiplash of WWE to AEW and back, your support is why this is all here.

Enjoy!

Six months. It had been six months since you’d moved into Fabian, Marcel, and Tim’s room in the dead of night, six months since Damian Priest had cheated on you, six months since everything changed for the better. You were happy, you felt appreciated and loved, something you never could say while you were with Damian. Everything had changed that night, but it didn’t bother you in the slightest; if anything, it had made everything better, perfect, even.

“Gli amori, what are we having for dinner?”

You sighed, trying to untangle yourself from the sleeping Marcel and Tim’s arms to help Fabian in the kitchen. After a moment’s struggle (Tim is very fond of pulling you back down when he’s trying to rest), you managed to entwine the two of them together enough to slip off. Fabian smiled as you walked in, yawning as you tried to push your messy hair out of your eyes.

“Lovely as always, darling. Are the others sleeping?”

You nodded, sitting on a stool and slumping over onto the counter. Fabian laughed as he pushed a spare bottle of wine back against the wall, out of the range where you could knock it to the floor.

“It’ll probably be your choice for dinner, they’re knocked out and I can’t think straight enough to make a decision.”

“Are you sure about that, doll?”

You let out a little scream and jumped, nearly falling off of the stool, and both Fabian and Tim reached out towards you in case you did topple over. You turned to look at Tim, letting out a groan that told him quite clearly that you weren’t too pleased about being startled like that.

“Are they okay?”

Marcel’s voice was coated in concern, and the three of you in the kitchen all set about trying to console him.

“They got startled-”

“Apparently I’m pretty quiet-”

“Tim’s a fucking ass, that’s what happened.”

Marcel jokingly swatted Tim’s head as he walked in, moving to stand behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Timothy, how dare you scare them!”

“Look, I didn’t mean to...”

He trailed off as you looked at him, giving a little grin that told you he wasn’t really sorry, even if he did end up apologizing. Fabian started to ask again about dinner, but a knock at the door interrupted him again. After a moment of confusion, you agreed to answer it. Although, as soon as you saw who it was, you wished you hadn’t agreed at all.

“Hello there.”

Your blood ran cold, and you couldn’t help but freeze for a moment. Right in front of you was Damian Priest, speaking to you for the first time in six long months.

You wished you were wearing something better, an evening gown or even just a nice shirt and some jeans instead of your stained pajamas. You wished you had some witty reply or even the capability to tell him to fuck off. But instead, you were glued to the spot, too shocked to answer or even walk away.

“Liebe, who is it?”

Damian’s eyes flashed with recognition, and it looked like anger was coming across his features when he realized that Marcel was in the room with you.

“So, you’ve already managed to move on, huh? Really didn’t need me after all?”

“It...it’s been half a year. Damian, it’s been six months.”

Your response felt weak under his gaze, under the fire in his face, and you wanted nothing more than to turn away and cry. How miserable you must look, you thought, all broken and bitter and upset like this.

“That’s not too long, especially for you. Remember that I asked you out every Wednesday for a year? But you were too hung up on that last guy to even consider it, apparently. And now here you are, fucking around with that German dude. Hell, it wouldn’t be a surprise if you were in bed with him the same night that we broke up.”

You could feel your chest starting to hurt, breaths growing rattly as he admonished you. You didn’t have the strength to stop him, to tell him that he was wrong, and the smirk on his face told you that he knew that.

“Doll, what’s - Damian, what the hell are you doing here?”

You felt Tim’s hand on your shoulder, gently pushing you back as he put himself between you and Damian. The touch was enough to snap you out of your fugue, and you turned sharply and rushed to the small bathroom, needing a moment of escape, of privacy. You let your tears come out, shaking and sobbing on the floor as you realized what that moment must have looked like. You told the three of them that you were over Damian, you are, but it must have seemed like a lie compared to the way you froze under his gaze, the way you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. And now, they must have doubts, fears about where you are mentally, what you want from them. They let you in to their world, their relationship, and you can’t help but think that you’re making it out to be a joke.

“Tesoro? Are you okay?”

You looked up at the door, then buried your face into your knees as you noticed that it was open, Marcel and Fabian looking in at you. You hiccupped, then let out a small sob as you realized exactly how pitiful you were.

“Liebe, he’s gone now. He won’t be coming back. You’re safe here, I promise.”

Marcel’s voice became louder as he moved closer, stopping in front of you and bending down to your eye level.

“Did he hurt you?”

You shook your head, mind finally starting to clear as you had something to focus on that wasn’t your own thoughts.

“No, I just...I was shocked. It’s been six months.”

“I know, I know, liebling.”

“I don’t love him.”

You looked up at them, Marcel in front of you and Fabian against the wall and now Tim, who was standing in the doorway. They all seemed confused by your statement, so you continued.

“I know what that looked like, and I want to be clear. I don’t love anyone that isn’t the three of you. Especially not him.”

“Doll, nobody thought that was the case. You were obviously startled; like you said, it had been half a year since you last heard from him. Of course you would react like that, given your history.”

“I...I just...”

You hid your face as you started to cry again, now from embarrassment. You felt stupid for thinking they would ever think of you like that; you knew you were catastrophizing, thinking of the absolute worst, but now it just seemed stupid.

“It’s okay. You were upset, scared, you didn’t know how to react.”

Marcel finally reached out, resting a hand on your shoulder, and you nearly dove into his arms. He held you, letting you rest your weight against him as you got all of the raw emotions out of your system.

“You know we love you, right, diletto?”

You nodded at Fabian’s words, then let out a cracked “I do” when you realized that he wouldn’t see that.

“Good. Because it’s true; we love you, the good and the bad and everything in between.”

“Even like this?”

"Yes, darling. Even like this.”

You pulled away from Marcel a bit, still staying within the confines of his arms, and took a moment to look between the three of them. The best boyfriends you could ask for.

“Did we ever figure out what we’re doing for dinner?”

Fabian started to answer, but Tim quickly cut him off.

“Whatever you want. Pasta, takeout, wine, ice cream, whatever you choose.”

“Come on, love.”

Marcel helped you off of the floor as Tim and Fabian left the room, stopping you for a moment in the doorway.

“There’s nothing to worry about, okay? We’re here. We’ll always be here.”

You kind of wanted to cry again at his words, but instead you settled for reaching up and kissing him, short and swift.

“Hey, what about us?”

You laughed, turning to Fabian and Tim, who were staring at you.

“Fine, come here, you two!”

And it hurt, the breath still a little sore and the emotions still raw, but it was better. In time, you would feel okay again. These three, these perfect men, would see to that.

[howtobeapersonwithfibro]

{Life/illness update I guess?}

My chronic illness has been so, so challenging lately. 

Gabapentin (starting on a low dose) is helping my occipital head pain maybe 20% at best, so instead of being helpless and miserable in bed all day, I’m helpless and miserable in bed most of the day but with a little energy to play computer games, watch things, and maybe even do something creative. 

My POTS is bad and combining with my head pain in the worst way possible. Any positional changes, even getting up to go to the bathroom or worse, go downstairs, makes me dizzy and nauseous and worsens my head pain. My hands and feet are eternally cold, and if I stand for any amount of time my feet and legs get purplish and mottled. I know I should be wearing my compression socks more but the tightness irritates my fibro-leg-pain, so I haven’t been willing to put them on when I’ll just be in bed anyway, even though they would help. 

The hardest part is that my mood tanks when I reach peak pain/symptoms and I enter a mini crisis every time it happens, which can be several times a week (*cough*, or daily). I feel like my own worst enemy, but really it’s mostly my body, and my mind is just trying its best. Clonazepam is a savior, if only I would take it sooner in the breakdown arc.

I’m scheduled to work Monday and Wednesday at the blind school, my first time subbing in almost two months. My mind is super excited to finally get back working with kids, but my body is... probably going to rebel. It’s scary to worry about your competence to do the one job you finally thought was a great fit.

I just want my existence to be less painful. I wish there was anyone who had the power to help, because I beg so often in my head: please, just anything to make it easier. [STILL working on a state hearing for my pain-reducing injections. I have little hope or energy to manage it at this point.]

[jacksjoke]

Title: take a chance on me

Pairing: Wave/Pang

Ao3 link

     It’s a coincidence that the placement exam falls on the Monday following Pang’s 18th birthday, but Wave has an inkling that the administration purposely scheduled it this way in an attempt to foil what should be a happy day with stress.

     Pang has long refused to do anything in celebration of his birthday because, for one, it’s a Sunday this year and no one does anything worth doing on Sunday nights, and two, he’s never been much of a fan of his birthday anyway. He doesn’t hate it or anything; there’s probably a spectrum of some kind where on the far end resides Ohm, cake-obsessed and always ready to pop balloons in his own face; on the opposite is someone who had a dramatic trauma occur on their birthday and now despises it terribly; and in the middle is Pang.

     He just doesn’t care all that much about giving a big hoorah about it. When he was a kid, sure; being little means action figures and colouring books and all the things that make a birthday worth having. But being older, the most he’ll get is a bit of money or a kind Facebook message from his relatives.

     The most worthwhile part of the day has always been waking up to his baby sister smushing her hands onto his face and insisting that she give him a birthday blessing in the form of a smooch, a loud smack of her rosebud lips on the bridge of his nose. His mother will prepare breakfast and dinner and the family will share the meals, but the time between is just dull. What’s there to celebrate about being another year older? All he’s ever found is that adults don’t listen and don’t care, age notwithstanding, and the poorly-maintained planet is just another sun-cycle closer to destruction.

     Because he knows Pang, Wave knows all this too.

     His birthday had always been a nice event in his household, way back when his parents were around; they made him feel necessary to their lives and reminded him that he should view every day (birth-date or not) as a gift. In the years after their passing, he would have thought that his birthday would become one of those traumatic, avoidable occasions. Instead, it became the one day out of the remaining 364 that brought him close to his parents even in death, and he cherishes the few hours in that day where he can feel like they’re keeping a special eye on him.

     Wave also knows that trying to force someone to feel the same about anything is tricky at best and offensive at worst. When he commissions Ohm’s help in preparing Pang’s birthday ‘surprise,’ he’s doing it with the purest of intentions in the hopes that he can brighten Pang’s opinion of his birthday, not to shove his own down Pang’s throat.

     He’s anxious, to say the least, but this last-minute plan came only a week before when they found out the set date of the placement exam. It would mean their plan would go into action and if they succeeded, the surprise could be a way to further cheer Pang’s high spirits. Should they fail, Wave would pray that the surprise might cheer Pang’s disappointment.

     So it’s to his ultimate relief when Pang comes out of his meeting with the Director victorious, and Wave’s heart feels fit to burst from his chest as he can finally shriek into the walkie-talkie that they’ve done it. They actually pulled through, just like he’d believed they could all along. Looks like Pang’s usual optimism rubbing off on Wave wasn’t for nothing.

     He hasn’t moved from his seat at the head of the table, still waiting for Pang’s arrival despite having allowed the others to use the ridiculous Silly-Spray and mini-confetti cannons prematurely. But, God, Pang’s a sight for sore eyes when he finally walks in, his hands bashfully shoved into his pockets, an amused glint in his eyes at his friends’ antics. He also looks exhausted, but the shouts of the Gifted bring a smile to Pang’s face that has Wave smiling as well, standing to join them in their raucous cheers of success.

     He doesn’t want to shove into Pang’s moment with their friends and is content to just take in the happiness that they’ve all been waiting a year and a half to feel. He can’t believe they’ve actually made it to this point. Wave lets himself get caught up in the manic energy of the group, ducking behind the fishing hat he’d stolen ages ago from Pang and doing what he can to avoid the haphazard aims from Ohm’s double-cans of Silly-Spray. Those may not have been the best idea, in hindsight.

     Regardless, Pang’s sporting a euphoric smile and in the moments that Wave catches a glimpse of him, he can feel himself grinning wider too… even with his arms covered in multi-coloured rubber string and confetti bits.

     They’re so tired, but it’d been so worth it to be here now, together. The group share hugs amongst themselves before departing and Wave has to actively try not to tear up, that’s how soft he’s become. And he doesn’t even give a shit. The hugs given to Pang are extra tight, the looks thrown Pang’s way extra thankful and admiring, and he deserves every bit of it.

     Once the room is cleared out and the remaining two boys are left in the hall, Wave turns to Pang, suddenly hesitant. He has no reason at all to be, except for maybe the stupid wink Ohm had tossed at him before leaving. Getting his mess of an ass involved in this had been ludicrous on Wave’s end, but you live and learn.

     Pang leans against a wall to cover his face with his hands, and Wave is about to become concerned when Pang pushes his fingers up into his hair and reveals a beaming smile. He shakes his head and looks at Wave.

     “I can’t believe we did it,” he says.

     “I can,” Wave replies. “I told you we’d get our win.”

     “It’s one thing to say it, but to actually…” Pang gives another shake of his head. “Everything’s going to change. We get to be in the Gifted again, for real; we can be seen together around school—”

     “No more solo lunches at the canteen,” Wave agrees, already looking forward to being able to sit with the others. It’s almost embarrassing how much he’s missed their table. There’s a pause, and then Wave says, “I need to go up and check out the gear. Could use a hand.”

     Pang nods easily, hands in his pockets, and follows after Wave for the back staircase that leads to the roof. Wave is still nervous, but he knows he doesn’t have to be. He focuses on keeping his breathing relatively normal as he pushes open the door onto the rooftop. He stands back to allow Pang to step up as well.

     Pang’s relaxed grin melts into amused confusion at the sight before him, in the space where years ago were crates and assorted Ritdha items have now been settled a few containers atop a blanket. He looks at Wave with that same amused confusion on his face but wanders over to the spot with Wave trailing just slightly behind.

     “I know you don’t like your birthday that much,” Wave starts, “but I…” Pang turns to look at Wave, who’s definitely red-faced and unable to hide it under the late-morning sun. “This is the first year we’re together for it, and I wanted to do something special. And now with today’s success,” he hurries to add, “it’s… fitting.”

     Pang must recognise Wave’s worried frown because he smiles and takes Wave’s hand. “I don’t care about my birthday, but I wouldn’t say no to celebrating if it’s with you,” he tells him, and it’s such a relief that Wave can’t even roll his eyes at Pang’s line. He knows it isn’t a line anyway; Pang has never been anything but devastatingly sincere in every word he’s said to Wave.

     His kindness is so much of the reason why Wave wants to return it tenfold, hence a picnic in their spot. It’s cheesy and romantic and all the things Wave never thought he’d want to share with anyone. Maybe more that he never thought he’d have anyone to begin with. But here he is. Here they are.

     Pang pulls Wave down onto the blanket and asks, “So, you did this all yourself?”

     “I had… some help.”

     Able to read Wave like a book, Pang grins. “That explains the bickering that went on between you and Ohm.”

     “How?”

     “He knew about this and you were worried he’d let the secret out, so you argued all day because you couldn’t say what you actually wanted to. Next time, pick someone who you have more faith in to cover you.”

     “He can become invisible!” Wave reminds Pang. “That comes in handy when you have to sneak on to the roof at five in the morning and set up a picnic.”

     “Fair enough.”

     Aware of Pang’s eyes on him, Wave purposely doesn’t look at him. If he does, he’ll just blush again and no one wants that. Except for Pang, likely, because he’s a sadist.

     “So what d’we have?” Pang pops the lid off one of the containers and grins down at the cut melon. Next is the apple slices, and a couple bags of dried and flavoured seaweed. Wave had even prepared sparkling grape juice for the occasion, which he thought was a nice touch at the time but now feels sort of embarrassed about. But Pang appears thrilled by it all, so Wave tells himself that he’d done alright.

     “Alright? Wave, I can’t believe you did all this for me.”

     Wave realises that he’d spoken aloud, which would be horrifying if Pang weren’t looking at him like Wave had painted the galaxy’s design just for him. He could shrug off Pang’s words and let the moment pass into another conversation, or he could be honest.

     “You deserve it. I… I know you were scared to face the Director earlier; I know you weren’t sure you’d make it out with anything resembling success. But you did it. You did that. You spent your 18th birthday trying to figure out how we could win and we did.” Wave pauses, reaching for Pang’s hand even as his brain tells him he’s making a fool of himself. “I wanted to have something to thank you for… for the last year.”

     “You guys let me lead; I didn’t do anything.”

     “Not just that. I meant—being with me.” Pang’s eyebrows furrow and he tightens his hold of Wave’s hand. “I wasn’t in a good space when we met, you know that better than a lot of them still might. But you partnered with me the first time around against the Director, and again last year when I told you how I felt.”

     Pang smiles at the memory, although there’s a bit of sadness too. They’d confessed on the night of Namtaan’s accident, and their happiness at the admission was bittersweet because of its catalyst. “You said I’d be an idiot to bet on you,” Pang recalls. “And you remember what I said?”

     “You…” Wave can’t help but smile too. “You told me you’d be an idiot not to.”

     “And I was right, as always,” Pang says, joking and fond. He secures an arm around Wave’s shoulders so that he can tug him against his right side in a hug. He puts his chin on Wave’s head and repeats, softer, “I was right.”

     Wave squeezes his eyes closed behind his glasses, trying not to cry. He’s so absurdly fortunate to be Pang’s anything that sometimes the reminder that he’s his boyfriend is staggering.

     “Thank you for this, Wave,” Pang says. “Seriously.”

     Wave lifts his fingers to Pang’s left cheek so that he can print a kiss onto the other, but he doesn’t reply as he settles back against Pang’s side.

     “Your birthday’s in a couple months,” Pang says after a minute. “We’ll do anything you want.”

     “This is fine,” Wave says. This is everything, he doesn’t say.

     “We’ll see,” Pang says, mysterious. Another few moments pass before he asks, “So, are we going to be roommates now?”

     Wave snorts, lips ticking up into a grin. “I guess.”

     “We could do a quad with a couple of the other guys. Don’t get any funny ideas.”

     “You’re the worst,” Wave says, though he conveniently doesn’t explain why.

     Pang kisses the top of Wave’s hair and Wave can feel his smile even then. “Love you.”

     “Love you,” Wave says, obviously, his voice threaded with emotions he doesn’t care to dissect.

     He just settles onto Pang’s chest and lets himself breathe as Pang’s arm slides from his shoulders down to instead cradle Wave’s waist. The breeze is lovely, and they won today. They can afford to have this moment.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? That would never happen, but for the sake of this question I’d certainly be surprised and caught off guard to say the very least for a lot of reasons. I would just be like wtf?? Do you play video games? Sometimes.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? Yeah.

Is your house more than two stories tall? Nope.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? >> I've never been in a physically abusive relationship, thankfully. <<<

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) Nothing.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? It’s rose gold.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? Chips and dip, crackers, cookies...

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? No.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? No.

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? I don’t think so.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I don't remember.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? None.

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? I had a mini Kit Kat yesterday if that counts.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have a degree in psych.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? I don’t even go to bed until the early morning hours.

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? >> I mean, that obviously depends on what I'm in the mood for at the time. <<< Exactly. I enjoy all those things.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both.

What genre of films do you like the best? I’ve listed this a few times recently and don’t feel like doing so now.

How many bank accounts do you have? Just one.

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? Get through each day and try to improve some health stuff.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? My sleep schedule is completely messed up.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It’s a very unpleasant experience.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. Funny and smart.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? :/

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I don’t want to share what, but there’s definitely something I would change for her.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? No.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. I’m a big scardy cat and went through the whole thing having my friend push me through while I mostly kept my eyes closed lmaooo. I kept anticipating things or someone jumping out at me.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? No.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? I would say dusting. Did you pull a senior prank? No.

Did you graduate? Yes.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? No.

What was the last song you listened to? I don’t remember.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? Nope, hence the glasses.

Is fashion one of your interests? >> It is, I think fashion is intensely interesting and fun.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s hard to imagine that happening for me, honestly.

Do you care what people think? Yes, but not as much as I used to. 

Is acting something you enjoy? No.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? My leg when I was a kid.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? No.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No.

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? I’m most comfortable at my own house.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? No.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? Nope.

Did you ever watch the show Full House? Yeah.

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? No.

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? No.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? I’ve never been on a hike.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? My ex.

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? Nope.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? I’m currently wearing an Hey Arnold shirt with Arnold and Helga plucking a flower on it and it has “I hate him” repeated a few times and then at the bottom it says, “I love him.” 

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect.

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. Most people are taller than me anyway.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? That my family was here.

What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during? Hmm.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? The Fault in Our Stars is one that really, really got to me when I first saw it. I bawled. 

What’s your favorite restaurant? I don’t have a particular favorite.

Is there a dessert you don’t like? Not a pie fan.

Favorite album? Hybrid Theory and Meteora.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? I got into Twilight and The Hunger Games that way. I ended up becoming really into both, though.

Underwater or outer space? Both terrify me.

Dogs or cats? Dogs.

Kittens or puppies? Puppies

Bird watching or whale watching? Bird. I have an irrational fear of whales.

What was your best subject in school? English.

What was your worst subject in school? Math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh.

Who is your fashion icon? I don’t have one. 

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice.

What color dress did you wear to prom? It was white with gold flecks.

What’s your favorite plot-twist? Thats a broad question. There’s been a lot of plot twists in various movies, books, TV shows, and life itself, ha, that really got me.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? No.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? A few days ago. Had a full on panic attack, too, which was fun.

Ever pop someone else’s pimple? Ew, NO. I find that so disgusting.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? No.

Who are you closest to? My mom and brother.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? No.

Are you currently sad about anything? Sad is just part of me.

Have you had any form of exercise today? I haven’t even gotten out of bed, yet, but I can assure you no exercising will be going on today.

Can you handle blood? Nooo.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? No. I didn’t try to apply for a job either though, so.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No.

Are you currently searching for a job? No.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? >> Nah. There was a short period of time when it did, back in the day, but now eating shortly after waking is almost a necessity for me. <<< Same, actually. The past few months I’ve gotten into the regular routine of having breakfast. 

[strangerthingsharrington]

Can’t Fight This Feeling

We’re following Dustin’s older sister Louise during S3. Started writing this after S3 came out, focused more on it during this quarantine! No posting schedule, just testing the water here.

-1-

Hawkins was a pretty boring town. But, that’s how I liked it, if I was going to be honest.

I’d been in Hawkins my entire life, except for the couple of times a year I’d go and stay with my grandparents. They lived not terribly far from Hawkins, but far away enough where it felt like I was taking my own little mini vacation.

Some days I loved and Hawkins...some days I wanted to get the hell outta there. I wanted away from some of the kids, mostly. Some of the kids from the high school were assholes, and that’s all they would ever be. But that’s the case with places all over too, I guess.

One of my good friends, Jonathan Byers, was always getting picked on. People calling him weird and a psycho and a freak and all this other shit, when Jonathan was one of the nicest people in the world.

No, we’re not dating, he’s dating Nancy Wheeler, and yes we did try dating in the very distant past, but we were definitely better off as friends. No question.

“Louise,” my mom called from the other side of my bedroom door.

“Yeah?” I called back to her from my position on my bed sorting through some of my old records.

She opened the door and smiled at me, “Do you want to come with me to pick up Dustin?”

My little brother Dustin’s last day of his month long summer camp was that day, so he needed to be picked up from Camp Know Where.

“Do you want me to?” I asked, putting a Bowie record off to the side.

She leaned against my doorframe and I knew what was coming next.

“LuLu, you haven’t seen your brother for a month,” she guilt tripped me.

I sighed as our newer cat, Tews, ran into my room and jumped onto my bed.

I grabbed him and held him, “I guess?”

She smiled at me, “Good, I’m leaving in ten minutes!”

I rolled my eyes, “Thanks for the heads up.”

“So you can’t back out like you probably would have,” she winked, “come on, Tews,” she said before turning and walking away from my room as the cat kept out of my arms and ran after her.

I sighed and stood up from my bed and stretched my arms and legs out, they were still a bit stiff from my earlier run.

I pulled my curly hair up into a ponytail and slipped on a pair of my converse, deciding not to change out of my jeans shorts and stripped tank top.

I grabbed my small messenger bag and tossed it over my head to hang around my shoulder and left my room shutting the door behind me.

I met my mom in the living room and extended my arms out to the sides of me.

“I’m so proud, you didn’t even try to wiggle your way out of coming,” she said, fake wiping a tear from her cheek.

I laughed and shook my head, “You’re a pretty convincing lady, what can i say,” I said with a smile.

We left the house a few moments later, getting into my moms car and starting the drive to the camp to get Dust.

It was a comfortable ride with my mom mostly asking me about my next year of school, which was my senior year and if I was excited about it.

Which I could honestly say that I was excited, because three of the kids who made my life a living hell there had graduated. Tommy H, Carole, and Steve.

Steve hadn’t been so bad since he and Nancy got together. And even since they had broken up the past November and he had become really good friends with my brother. But in my mind he was still a giant douchbag who loved to make peoples lives hell for some reason.

When we got to the camp pick up area Dustin was sitting alone on a bench looking sad and mopey with his head down. I got out of the car and called out to him.

“Dustin!”

He looked up and smiled at me before standing up and grabbing his suitcase that was next to him.

“Lou!” he called back to me.

Mom was out of the car and speed walking over to him where she pulled him into an awkward hug since his one hand was still grasping his suitcase and his other was holding his ever present walkie talkie.

When mom finally pulled away and wiped her face free of tears Dustin and I made eye contact and I had to hold my nose to try and contain the snort of laughter that was threatening to spill out. His eyes were wide and he shook his head slightly at moms over the topness.

Dustin finally came over to the car with mom prattling in the background about what he wanted for dinner and what he wanted to do for the rest of the summer.

“Mom, let the kid breathe for God sakes,” I told her as Dustin closed the trunk.

Dustin moved to the front seat, just as I had promised him when he was dropped off for camp, that I, as the older sibling, was willing to give up my automatic front seat privilege when we picked him back up.

I settled into the back seat, still not listening to a word mom was saying since I knew none of it was pertaining to me since little Dusty was back.

She eventually simmered down on the drive home after he gave his input for dinner, ‘Whatever you want, Ma,’ before he turned his walkie talkie on and changing it to the right channel of frequency. Then he began calling out to his friends, changing between Mike, Will and Lucas. There was never a response to him.

I leaned my head against my back headrest looking out the window, trying to block out the aggravating sound of static from his radio calls.

“Mike, do you copy? Over!”

“Lucas it’s Dustin! Do. You. Copy? Over!”

“Will! Answer me! Over!”

I rolled my eyes at Dustin’s insistent calls over the walkie talkie to the other kids in the party. I faced the back of Dustin’s head and huffed.

“Dustin,” I complained, “just call them when you get home.”

He put his walkie down and removed the headset and microphone combo he was using with the walkie talkie. He turned to me harshly from his spot in the front seat, “It’s bullshit, Lou. They knew I was coming home today and they’re ignoring me?”

“Dusty,” mom said, “language”

Dustin tolled his eyes and faced the front of the car once again, “What do you want from them?” I asked him, “Mike and Elle are dating and Lucas has Max...they have other shit going on!”

“Lulu!” mom scolded me, “you’re teaching Dusty bad habits.”

“I’m eighteen mom,” I said absent mindedly looming out of the window.

“I’ll call Steve when I get home,” Dustin said sullenly, “maybe he’ll be happy to see me”

I scoffed and lightly hit the back of my brothers head, “You’re gonna call Steve? Come on, Dustin, the guys a jerk!”

“He’s my friend,” he said defensively.

“Why are you even friends with him? He’s such a douchbag, Dust,” I asked disgusted. Dustin turned around with an annoyed look on his face.

“Maybe he was to you, but he’s turned into a good friend of mine.”

I rolled my eyes, “He was to almost everyone in the school, especially Jonathan Byers. And then all of a sudden he turned into what? Some nice young guy that’s friends with kids? Weird.”

“Lou, Steve has been nothing but nice to Dustin,” my mom started, as Dustin pointed at her with a nod before turning to face the road once again.

“So that makes the way he teeated me okay?” I asked harshly, staring at her through the rear view mirror.

My mom sighed in her seat, “No, of course not. But he’s not the same kid that he was in school.”

I looked down at my lap to my intertwined hands and sighed deeply, “All I’m saying is that he was awful...awful to me.”

“Has he been mean to you since he’s known me?” Dustin asked.

I looked up at the back of his head, “No, because I’m never around when he is. I avoid that kid like the plague.”

“Then that’s on you, Louise,” Dustin said, half turning towards me so i could only see one side of his face, “you don’t know him like I do. He’s a good guy and a good friend. Sorry that everyone isn’t as miserable as you all the time, and that you have a hard tome believing that people can change,” he turned more so he was fully facing me, “because no one will ever be as great as you!” he said adding the last part with some heavy sarcasm before turning back around.

I crossed my arms and looked out the window, my nose began tingling, and I knew I was close to tears because of what that shit head said.

“That’s enough, Dustin,” my mom told him sternly

Dustin huffed, “Sorry but it’s true,” he said a bit more gently.

I didn’t say anything else to either of them. I just continued watching the road of Hawkins pass me by as I watched from behind a window. My mind began drifting to one of the worst moments of my high school life, which Steve was a direct participant of.

“Hey Louise,” Tommy slyly said, leaning against my locker next to me.

I felt awkward being next to one of the popular kids, I smiled uncomfortably, “Hi Tommy.”

“I’ve got a secret to tell you,” he sang to me, as Carole scurried over to us and stood in front of us, popping her gum.

“Yeah,” she said with an edge to her voice and a fake smile on her face, “big secret.”

My heart rate increased at the thought of Tommy having something special to tell me.

“What’s that?”

He looked across the hall and jutted his chin out, “Steve Harrington has a crush on you,” he said loudly, drawing the attention of some people around us, including Steve, who was across from us.

I felt my face instantly begin burning. I knew it was bright red. From embarrassment and from excitement. Steve Harrington had a crush on me? It had to be a dream. That was something I had only ever daydreamed about.

Until Steve broke the deafening silence.

“What??” He said loudly before laughing, “You’re outta your fuckin mind, Tommy. That’s just messed up man,” he said through laughs, causing Tommy and Carole to burst out in laughs along with everyone around us.

Now my face was burning out of pure embarrassment. Everyone was laughing at me, which is one of the worst feelings ever.

“Don’t listen to him, Lisa,” he told me, still with a laughin edge to his voice, “he’s lying. Trust me on that,” he said, before laughing again and walking away with Tommy and Carole with him.

I only came back from that horrible memory when mom parked the car at home under the overhang. I knew full well that his friends were hiding in the house to surprise him and I was close to spoiling that for him based on how shitty he made me feel back in the car, but i knew I never would do that to him.

I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me only to have Dustin step in my way.

I looked at him and shrugged dramatically, throwing my arms out, “What?”

He looked woefully at me, “I ... just wanted to say I’m sorry...you know, for what I said in the car. You’re not a miserable person, and the fact that’s Steve’s my friend now doesn’t like...make what he did to to you or anyone else okay. He was a giant douchbag back then and I know that,” he explained, “but if you got to know him now...he’s not like that anymore.”

I sighed and shook my head slightly, “And that’s great for you, Dustin. But he made my high school existence awful. Seriously. So I’m sorry that I just can’t, ya know, be totally chill and whatever when it comes to him. Maybe eventually it’ll be okay, but not right now for me.”

And with that, I sidestepped him and went to the front door that mom had left open for us, before disappearing into my room closing the door behind me.

I walked to my bed and grabbed a Journey record before going and placing it on my record player.

I sat with my back against my headboard and hugged a pillow to my chest. I didnt like fighting with Dustin, but the shit with Steve...that was genuinely irritating.

I knew it was Dustin knocking on my door immediately. I rolled my eyes before calling for him to come in.

He opened the door and looked at me sadly before closing the door behind him.

He walked over to my bed and sat down next to me, leaning his hat covered curly head on my shoulder.

“I really am sorry for the shit you went through in school with Steve, Lou. You know that right?”

“I know,” I breathed, “just like you know how sorry I am about the shit you go through sometimes.”

“I’ll never excuse the shit that he put you through, none of it was right, ya know? And I would never be friends with someone who talks bad about you or anything, because he’s never said anything mean or bad about you in front of me.

“Trust me, Steve wasn’t exactly my frist choice. But I needed his help with some shit...and then we became friends.”

I scoffed and nudged him with my shoulder, “What did you need Steve for that I couldnt have helped with?”

I looked over at him and his eyebrows were furrowed together, “Huh....yeah ya know...girl...shit. Girl shit.”

I fought hard to keep the smile off my face, “Girl shit?”

He kept a straight face, but nodded.

“You...you realize that I am, in fact, a girl right? I could’ve helped you out too?”

At that his face relaxed into a small smile, “I know,” he said before looking to me, “I just...wanted a guys take on it. A guy that’s actually you know...had a girlfriend and shit.”

I smiled sadly at him, “I get it...I’m sorry, Dust. I’m not mad at you or anything...it just brings up bad memories is all. As long as he’s good to you...then it is what it is.”

Dustin sat up and smacked my knee, “Listen, do you wanna hang out? Since no one obviously cares that I’m back,” he said bitterly, “I have to go and build my radio, Cerebro, so I can talk to Suzie...you know...my girlfriend,” he said with a dreamy smile.

I smiled along with him. Yes I knew of the girlfriend. The one he never stopped talking about every single time he would call home.

“Anyways, I need to go to the top of the hill and build it so I can reach her...wanna come?”

I hummed in mock thought before I turned and patted his head.

“Absolutely not,” I said with a small laugh as his face dropped.

“Come on, Lou!”

I shook my head, “No! I’m not gonna spend one of my summer afternoons going to a hill and sitting there while you set up and still sitting there while you try to reach Suzie!” I said with a laugh.

“You’re so mean!” he told me with a smile.

I pushed his shoulder, “Go to your room and unpack and we’ll talk about this later!”

He got up from my bed dramatically, “Fiiiiine,” he told me before leaving my room.

I leaned my head against the headboard and grinned at the door, as I began the wait for the party to surprise little Dusty for his arrival back home.

I didn’t realize there was a character limit or whatever for tumblr posts??? Oops! GIF credit to owner and title credit to REO Speedwagon.