#the woman hasn’t known peace for 21 years

[magicalmadrigals]

It’s the way this woman had SIX MINUTES of screen time in the entire movie and like 90% of that screen time was just her being so concerned about her family and her children 😂 She knows she’s the only sane one under that roof honestly

[ladybugsfanfics]

A Thousand Years | Loki

Pairing: Loki x witch!reader | Soulmate AU

Style: One Shot

WC: 1,228

Warnings: idk there are any

Summary: Requested by anonymous: Soulmate AU where Asgardians and Witches get 21 years old they can comunicate with their soulmate through writing on the skin, though witches are extint. Loki is frustrated bcs when he wrote the first time he didnt got a reply, and he thinks his soulmate died before he was born, but actually shes havent been born yet. So one day while he's in his cell on earth, an writing apears on his arm and he finds out that his soulmate is a midgardian witch, and shes in danget bcs hunters are after her...

MANY, MANY MANY YEARS AGO

Hello

The black word, written in ink, won’t disappear. It’s been stuck on Loki’s arm for the past two days and he keeps looking down at it, keeps trying to will it to leave his arm and move to… 

He keeps asking Thor for help. His older brother’s writing had vanished as he wrote the words. He’d gotten a reply only moments later, and not long after, had Loki constantly seen Thor and Sif walking around, hand in hand. 

Loki shakes his head and shoves his arm under running warm water. He scrubs at the word, watching each letter lose its color and place little by little. Something within him hopes that his scrubbing isn’t what erases the word, but rather that his soulmate is younger than him; it’s first now they turned twenty-one. 

But that hope doesn’t last long when he doesn’t get an answer through the day, or the next, or the next, or for another few centuries. 

It doesn’t help him to know that there’s every bit of reason to his soulmate already being dead. That they probably have been for countless years already. 

Every tiny bit of him hopes that’s not true. 

PRESENT DAY

There is little do stuck inside a cell. Or, there is little to do when he doesn’t bother getting out. He has a few books here and there, a ball and a Rubik's cube. He’s always been good at keeping himself occupied. 

Loki had been surprised at the cell choice at first, wondering why they would put him in one where he had no problem doing magic and could easily break out if he wanted to. Turns out, he had overheard, they are trying to test him. 

He doesn’t bother playing along, only tries to catch up on things he hasn’t been able to before. Shakespeare is a highly underrated pastime read, or maybe overrated―he isn’t entirely too sure what mortals think of the author, only that he’s well known. 

Today, Loki’s starting Macbeth. He’s reaching over to pick up the book when he notices the black ink on his skin. He pulls his arm back to him, pushing his sleeve up his elbow to read the words staring back at him. 

help, please, i don’t know if this will work but please i need help

His breath hitches. Loki has a soulmate, a soulmate that only now is alive. He wonders when they were born, but he leaves the wondering for later. He needs a pen, only, he doesn’t have a pen―he isn’t allowed one as he can kill someone with it. As if he can’t kill someone with books.

Having no other choice, Loki decides to use the knowledge he’s been sitting in for the past few months. He slips out of the cell, leaving a projection of himself still lying on the bed, and finds the nearest office. 

what can i help with?

Unlike the first time he tried this, the words vanish right away. It leaves a tingling feeling, to see them vanish along with the writing he’s replying to. Moments later, more black letters show up

I’m stuck running from these guys, can’t say who they are now but can you get to me?

Of course, that won’t be a problem. Where are you?

Norway, a town called Moss, there are no airports, though…

No problem

Loki doesn’t think through what he’s doing. In a moment, the office he stepped into falls away and he’s standing surrounded by trees. A little river runs along behind him, he can hear the water rushing against stone. Like a quiet harmony that fills his ears and makes music together with the wind brushing against the leaves on the trees. 

“Are you…?” 

The voice comes from someone behind him. Loki turns around to find a woman. She’s hiding slightly behind a tree, but the hiding place doesn’t seem like a good one. She eyes him warily, eyes squinting at him. 

Loki nods. “I am the one you talked to.”

“Oh, God, you have no idea how happy that makes me. I really need help.” She walks out from where she stood and the closer she walks to him, the better Loki can see her beauty. 

You radiate. Shimmering eyes; bright, relieved smile; an expression so full of live Loki has never seen anything quite like it. Your clothes aren’t familiar to him, but he does notice they are ripped, dirty with mud, and green from plants. And in the moments intake of the details that make up your beauty, he notices the small bags under your eyes, the slight strain to your smile, your tense shoulders, and how you seem to favor one leg over the other. 

“What can I help with?” he asks. 

“First of all, I’m Y/N.” You hold out your hand for him and he takes it. 

He says his name, but he can’t hear himself, too caught up in the warmth your touch brings. Loki isn’t sure whether that’s a fever on your part or a reaction to meeting his soulmate―Thor never mentioned it. 

“Second,” you say and let go of his hand, “I’m being hunted by some guys I don’t know what are called. They aren’t killing me per say, but I’m pretty sure they’re not far from going there.”

Loki frowns. “Why are they hunting you?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m a witch. One of the last ones alive and according to my family, pretty sought after.” The reply is casual, as if you’re used to telling strangers. Maybe that’s what caught you up in this mess in the first place. 

But Loki doesn’t care. He only nods, happy to have finally met you and happy to help. “Why don’t we make this very easy and get out of here?”

Now it’s your turn to frown. “Get out of here? How? They’d know if I hopped on a plane and they’d know where I went anyways.”

“Let’s go a way they won’t be able to track.”

You shrug. “I guess I have to trust you, then.”

“We are soulmates, it shouldn’t be so hard.”

That has an amused smile creep onto your face, hiding away some of your exhaustion. Loki opens his arms, whispering words of trust as you let him hug you. He fills with warmth at your touch and smiles as the woods fall away and changes to outside his cell. If anything, the med bay of the Avengers tower can heal your foot and maybe, just maybe, this will allow them to let him out of his cell without being sneaky. 

“If this works,” you say and look up at him, “then I owe you big time.”

“I know how you can repay me, don’t worry.” He smiles down at you, letting the few little swirling butterflies flutter in peace. You both know you’re soulmates, but he’s not about to cross any lines.

Loki vows to get to know you, and if you decide you do owe him, he knows what to ask. He’s waited a few centuries, he can wait a few years more. If that’s one or a thousand, he doesn’t care. 

He’s died everyday waiting for you. Finally, time has brought your heart to him. He’s loved you for a thousand years, and he’ll love you for a thousand more.

permanent tags:  @devilbat​ @adefectivedetective​ @gamillian​ @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic​ @heartislubbingdubbing​ @wiczer​ @chillcan​ @geeksareunique​

loki tags:  @iamverity​ @satanskatze​ @timetravelingsociopathicwalker​

[cagestark]

Better Late Than Never//1

And Merry Christmas to YOU

Aka I started another project that I will take twenty years to finish. But @starkerflowers prompts were just too fucking good.

About: With interest in his work waning, famous writer Tony Stark (under the pseudonym AE Potts) changes his entire public relations platform, which includes hosting a meet-and-greet contest where one lucky fan will get to spend the day with him. That one lucky fan is Peter Parker. Peter is 21. Will contain nff, alcoholism, suicide attempts, character death (not major), drug mentions, anxiety, anxiety attacks. 

Read here on AO3. 

-

Tony is awakened from a drunken, dreamless sleep by a tub of envelopes and small packages being upended over his head. He jerks upright with a shout from where he was slumped over his writing desk, upending the (empty) bottle of whiskey that had lulled him to sleep. Pepper stands over him, impeccable in every way he is not.

“Jesus Christ,” he says, pushing envelopes off of where they have pooled on his lap. “You could have taken my eye out, Peppercorn. What are you trying to do, perform Lingchi on me? What is all this?”

“Fan mail,” she says. Her voice is stern and unsympathetic. The first time she’d found him passed out drunk over his desk, she had panicked and nearly called for an ambulance. The next handful of times she had just covered him with a blanket and regarded him with sad eyes the next morning when she brought him coffee. But those were ten years ago. Not to mention, all in her first few weeks on the job— “Social media is revolting. You never answer fan mail, you never do Q&A’s, you haven’t done an interview in almost a decade.”

“Fuck this,” Tony mutters, opening one drawer. “Where’s my whiskey?”

“In your bloodstream, I’d imagine. Don’t brush this off, Tony. Sales are waning. We need to make some serious changes in our PR or I’ll be putting in my two-weeks’ notice.”

That gets Tony’s attention. Pepper hadn’t threatened to quit after his last book when he’d killed off one of the most popular characters (one of his personal favorites, may she rest in fictional peace) and the public had flipped their shit. She hadn’t threatened to quit years before that when she walked in on him hunched over his desk with a straw to his nose, three sheets to the wind on far more than just whiskey. She has the disposition of a mountain: unflinching and ever-enduring.

“You mean it,” says Tony.

“I mean it.”

His shoulders sag. He glances around the room: the mess, the junk, the empty alcohol bottles, the half-finished manuscripts. There’s a strange feeling in the back of his throat, acidic, like he might throw up. Or cry. When his mouth opens to say something sarcastic, something about not letting the door hit her on the way out if she expects him to play nice with the media, all that comes out is a broken: “I can’t lose you, Pep.”

She puts a hand on his shoulder. “You will. If you don’t make some changes. Okay?”

Maybe this is what it means to be balanced on a knife’s edge, where one way ends in pain and the other ends in terminal inconvenience. But he knows which one he has to pick. His whole life is just a big inconvenience, but pain? Tony has spent enough time with his hand flat against the stove’s burner to know that he’d rather die than feel it again, rather die than lose one of the only people left who can stand him.

He picks up the closest letter and tears it open, blinking heavily to clear his eyes. Pepper leans down to press a kiss to the crown of his head and then gags. “Take a shower, when you get the chance,” she mutters, smiling.

-

The letters start off by being good for one thing: his ego. Adoring fans have been writing to his penname and business address for decades since he put out his first super-hero novel, titled IRON-MAN. Pepper has chosen to give him recent fan-mail, considering he’s spent so long ignoring it that if he were to answer them in order of reception, he might encounter fans who didn’t even remember the letters once sent. Or ones who were dead.

They are all variations of the same thing. The handwriting changes, gentle feminine cursive to childish scrawling to neat block lettering, but the message is usually the same. DEAR MR. POTTS. I’VE READ EVERY BOOK YOU’VE EVER WRITTEN. I GOT YOUR NAME TATTOOED ON MY ASS. IRON-MAN IS MY HERO. I’VE NEVER READ PROSE AS LOVELY AS YOURS. WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?

At Pepper’s request, Tony drafts a generic letter to send in response, something about how he can’t respond personally to every letter but he wants them to know that he’s read what they’ve written and ‘holds it close to his heart’.

“It’s good,” Pepper approves. “Sign them yourself.”

“Good?” Tony says. “I was joking—this letter is trash. Anyone who knows me would see this for the sarcasm it is—”

“Then thank God none of the fans know you,” Pepper responds coolly.

She has a point. Tony has existed in relative seclusion since he first began publishing his works at 24. After twenty years, he’d managed to remain mostly anonymous. A pseudonym does most of the work, including non-disclosure agreements for his employees. Any time a presence is required, he sends Rhodey or Happy or Pepper even. Theory pages abound on the internet, sites devoted to finding out who the real AE POTTS is. Even though one picture leaked of him during the early 2000’s (a grainy godforsaken thing that didn’t even show his best angle), there were still some disbelievers. One popular conspiracy theory is that AE is Pepper, considering Tony stole her last name to use as his own.

Maybe that’s why his declining image in the media bothers her so much.

A week later, Tony’s hand has a cramp the way it hasn’t since he was a little boy learning to write his letters. Freehand has never been his specialty—it’s far too slow for the way his mind works, bounding a sentence, a scene, a chapter ahead. Signing so many letters is going to freeze his hand in a claw like position. He’s sure of it.

Then Pepper drops the next bombshell on him: the contest.

“It goes against everything I’ve been working so hard to do for the last twenty years,” Tony shouts at the zenith of their argument. “I do not want to be known! I don’t want the fame; I just wanted the goddamn fortune, is that too much to ask for?”

“Times have changed,” Pepper says through her teeth. She holds her own, spine straight. She hasn’t shirked away from his angry outbursts ever, not even when they were children growing up together in Manhattan. “I’m not asking you to do a 20/20 Special. I’m not asking for an interview on Ellen. I’m asking for you to meet with one fan. Have a goddamn lunch with them. If you can’t handle that, then you can kiss your fortune goodbye. Mark my words.”

Tony marks them. He fucking marks them, okay? When he’s drinking himself blind, locked in his office (good luck getting in now, Pep), they ring around his skull like a dime in the dryer. Sometime around dawn, she picks the lock on the door and mops his brow while he vomits in the tiny trashcan beside his desk.

“I’m not doing this to torture you,” she says with uncharacteristic tenderness. Her hand on his forehead occasionally rifling through his greasy hair is not what’s making his eyes prickle with tears—it’s the vomiting. Honest. He’s not that touch-starved. “You know that, right? I hate seeing you like this.”

“I know,” he chokes miserably, gagging again. So he agrees to the Willy Wonka Initiative. Pepper puts out the word that the infamous AE POTTS will be selecting a single fan to meet face to face. Anyone eighteen or older is eligible to participate, as long as they write a letter explaining why they should get it blah blah blah. A golden ticket might have been funner. At least then Tony might have had an excuse to wear the tacky purple suit and tophat.

In the meantime, Pepper reveals that she’s been having Happy screen his mail to only show him the happy letters—figures. His hate mail isn’t extensive, but it certainly exists, having increased exponentially since he killed off Natasha in the last novel.

FUCKING MYSOGINISTIC ASSHOLE, Cheryl from Newport tenderly writes. YOU HAD ONE GOOD FEMALE CHARACTER, AND YOU KILLED HER OFF. I HOPE ANOTHER WOMAN NEVER LETS YOU BETWEEN THEIR LEGS AGAIN AND YOUR DICK SHRIVELS OFF.

Tony thinks that’s pretty succinct. He posts it up on his desk propped up against the last picture ever taken of him and his mother. Killing off Natasha had been an idea he’d personally revolted against for months. Sure, it made sense that sensitive, strong Natasha would be the one to sacrifice herself in order to stop the villain from succeeding in wiping out half the universe. It made sense for a woman to be the one to give her life to protect others.

After all, hadn’t his own mother died trying to protect Tony?

The weekend after the contest drops on their social media platforms, Pepper texts to tell him that it’s being received far, far better than they might have ever hoped for. Already dozens of letters had been received, letters which must have been penned and mailed just hours after the news had spread.

Joy, Tony texts back.

I haven’t told you the best news, she says. That’s how Tony knows that the next news will be the worst news, absolutely the worst news of all. You get to pick the fan.

-

“Any letter catching your eye?” Pepper asks him over lunch in his office.

“They’re all the same,” Tony laments. Even his own ego can only take so much stroking. After a while, the fan mail has become mostly routine and lackluster, though he keeps opening it, keeps signing the response letters, keeps sending them out. “I’m going to end up picking one at random, Pep.”

“I don’t care how you pick,” Pepper says. “As long as you do—and as long as you’re ready to suffer with the consequences of your choice.”

“Suffer? God, I love the light you bring into my life. The unending optimism. The unparalleled faith and trust in me.”

Her eyes glitter even as they roll. “If you like me so much, you can buy lunch next time.”

Tony snorts, taking a large bite from his burger. “Gold digger.”

“I’ve seen your taxes, Tony. These days, there isn’t much gold to dig for.”

“Ouch, kill shot.”

-

The letter arrives only one week before the contest deadline. In the top drawer of his desk are three other letters from potential winners, mostly picked at random, sometimes because Tony likes their handwriting, sometimes because they say something funny that actually makes him laugh. When he opens up the letter from Peter B. Parker, he scans the first lines not intending to be impressed.

Dear Mr. Potts, Peter writes.

I’ve written you so many letters that it should be easy by now. I don’t know why my hands are shaking. Maybe I’m nervous because I know for certain that this one, someone will actually read.

I received my first copy of IRON-MAN when I was eight years old—yes, a little bit heavy for a kid that age, but my parents had just died unexpectedly in a car accident. My aunt and uncle took me in, and my uncle gave me his first edition. Iron-man’s story was one of the only things that got through to me as a kid. His struggle to come to terms with losing his own parents, his loneliness, his fear. The way he overcomes all of that and still goes on to do good…yeah. It meant a lot to a grief-stricken kid. Obviously.

Pretty much every birthday and Christmas, I end up receiving one of your books as a gift. My family and friends know me so well, I have nearly a half-dozen copies of AVENGERS (it’s one of my favorites). The things you write about are so close to my heart, so close to some of the experiences I’ve had in real life. My struggle with mental illness. My abuse and neglect. And the way you write these things makes me think…fear, I guess…that maybe you know something about them too.

I would love to get to meet you and talk about your incredible books. I’d love to get to know you. Not going to lie, as a fanboy, I’d probably be happy to just sit at the same table with you and have a meal. I’ll buy. We don’t even have to talk (okay I swear I’m not as desperate as I sound!). I’m sure you’ve received so many awesome letters, and I know that the fan you pick will be so, so lucky.

(Every letter I write to you, I ask if you could please return my book. It’s been five years since I sent it. I’m sure you don’t even have it anymore, maybe you threw it away from the start. But if you do have it, even if you don’t pick me to win the contest, it would mean so much if you sent it back. When I mailed it to you in Jan. 2014, my uncle was still alive. He’s gone now…anyway it’s one of the only things of his that I have left.)

Your fan always,

PETER.

PS: please disregard the last letter I sent…obviously.

Tony rereads the letter twice. He feels a swirl of emotion in his stomach, not dissimilar to the queasiness after a long night of drinking. This—this is what he sacrificed by being so closed-off from his fans. While he’d known that his fans were real and obviously human, a part of him had never felt the magnitude of it before. These are people with feelings and experiences. This Parker kid (a self-proclaimed fanboy) lost his parents too, and far younger than Tony had. In a car accident.

Maybe Peter hadn’t been there, hadn’t been in the car, hadn’t watched his mother parents go up in flames, but it’s still a tragedy all in its own right. And all at eight years old. Jesus Christ. This kid has been looking up to him for ten years and more, and he had no fucking idea that kind of dysfunctional altar he’d been worshiping at.

Tony goes into the private bathroom connected to his office and gags up—nothing. Drool. But it still leaves his mouth slimy, so he brushes his teeth until he’s spitting pink into the sink, and when he catches sight of the haphazard reflection in the mirror, he pities it. He leans forward to touch foreheads with it, auto-intimacy. Do better, some voice in the back of his head says, but it’s not his voice.

Happy picks up his cellphone on the first ring. Of the ninth call.

“What do you fucking want, Tony?” he hisses into the receiver. “I’m at the movie theater seeing that new Star Wars. You made me go out into the lobby—”

“Then I’m doing you a favor,” Tony says, cracking open the cap on a sparkling water. “Look, I have important questions, I wouldn’t have called otherwise. My fan mail—how much of it has Pepper kept?”

“Jesus, how should I know? Totes and totes full, at least—”

“Brilliant—”

“Why don’t you ask her yourself? I’m missing the movie!”

“Didn’t I say you’re not missing much? I’m asking you because Pepper will make me do it myself: I need you to find specific letters from one fan: Peter B. Parker. Address is Queens, but he could be from anywhere. I’m also especially interested in acquiring a package he sent me in January 2014.”

“Christ, could you be any more mysterious?” Happy mutters. “Text me the details you bastard, I’m not missing another moment of Mark Hamill.”

-

It turns out that Pepper is not only a saint in all ways previously mentioned, but she is a saint in this as well: his fan mail from the last ten years has been saved and meticulously organized by month and year of reception. Happy comes to Tony’s office in the city the next day with a package, the outside brittle but address clear.

The writing is the same script as the letter newly received from Peter, though the handwriting has become more mature over time. Neater. Confined. No more hasty slant from an enthusiastic hand. The kid’s contest entry is in the top drawer of Tony’s desk—the previous potential winners are now the cherries on top of the reject pile. His stomach is heavy as a stone while he tears open the five-year-old package.

Out tumbles a pre-addressed package that was meant to carry the book back to its owner, back to Peter. Then, one first edition of IRON-MAN, the cover a little tattered, the spine creaky. Also included is another letter, torn from a spiral notebook. He opens it with shaking hands.

DEAR MISTER POTTS

I KNOW THAT GETTING A RESPONSE FROM MY LETTERS IS A LONG SHOT, BUT I’M REALLY HOPING THAT YOU’LL AUTOGRAPH THIS COPY OF IRON-MAN AND RETURN IT TO ME. IT IS MY UNCLE BEN’S…

It goes on to describe how his Uncle’s birthday is coming up and Peter hopes to give the autographed book to his Uncle. Tony reads with a heavy heart, knowing now that Tony hadn’t bothered even opening the package, hadn’t tried to sign it—and even if he had, Ben hadn’t lived long enough to celebrate his next birthday. What a son of a bitch Tony is.

For the first time in three months, Tony goes home.

Most days he stays at the space he rents in the fancy Manhattan building, the one that holds his office and Pepper’s own workspace as well as the other people who work for him (Happy, Beck, Rhodey). The mansion outside Manhattan belonged to Tony’s father and his mother. When his mother had still been alive, it had been a cold place that he had endured staying at for her sake. After his mother had died, it had been a torture chamber, or worse—a stale, suffocating tomb.

Then Howard had died and somehow left it to Tony (probably out of some misguided duty to ‘keep it in the family’). Tony made a personal habit to visit it infrequently and stay there even less often; but Pepper maintains it for him, has it cleaned, keeps it safe. Uses it as storage, Tony knows. For his fan mail.

It takes up three entire rooms, floor to ceiling clear totes labeled with months and years. Just looking at it makes Tony feel small, ashamed of how little he cared about interacting with his fans. It’s no wonder sales were down. Searching for Peter’s letters would be like looking for a needle in a haystack—but he has to do it, and he can’t let Happy bear the brunt of the weight anymore either. This is on Tony.

So he begins pulling totes from the room and scattering their contents on the oaken table and floors of the dining room. Five hours and seven totes later, and Tony still has no letter from Peter.

Pepper finds him at midnight. She comes bursting in through the front door—Tony can hear the sound of the door colliding with the wall from the force she’s used—shouting his name. The hysteria in her voice chills him to the bone. It’s worse than the tone she uses when Tony fucks up; this is the tone she uses when there’s a Tragedy, when something is Wrong.

She finds him in the dining room surrounded by letters, kneeling up from where he was slumped on the floor. He must be a sight, but she is one too, her hair a mess, her eyes red. When she sees him, all the breath goes out of her, one hand clutching at her breast as the other grabs the back of a chair for support.

“Jesus, Pep, what’s happened? Is it your father, another heart attack—?”

“Why don’t you ever answer your goddamn phone, you bastard!” She says through heaving breaths. “You don’t leave the office for weeks and suddenly no one can find you, you won’t pick up your phone—”

It takes a long moment for the pieces to connect.

“Oh Christ,” Tony says, chidingly. “What, you were scared for me?”

She slumps into one chair and puts her face into her well-manicured hands. Tony drops back onto his ass. He’s not a good man, not a sensitive man. The last woman who had cried in front of him was his mother, and look at all the ways he had failed her. But the longer he sits letting Pepper cry, the more it feels like bamboo shoots growing under his tender fingernails. Fuck it. He gets up, knees creaking, and goes to her.

They sit side by side at the dining table no one has eaten at in twelve years. Pepper leans into him, her thin shoulders shaking. Shame makes his own eyes burn, because he thought what did she have to be afraid of? But maybe she saw his car in the driveway of the unhappy home he avoids and assumed that he’d come here to Hemingway himself. Maybe she sat in the drive steeling herself to come into the sight of his body.

“I’m going through the fan mail,” Tony says at last.

“I can see that,” she says. Her scathing tone drips with tears.

“I’m okay, Pep,” he says. He’s not sure if it’s true. He’s not sure if he’s been okay ever since he blinked awake upside down and suspended by the seatbelt in the back seat of his mother’s Cadillac, glass littering the roof (and the roof had become the floor, then, see? Because they were upside down), the smell of gas and smoke in his nose). Maybe he’s not okay. Maybe it’s all a fucking lie, but he’s not going to off himself. Not when there’s a mystery afoot. “I promise.”

She nods, one damp hand reaching out blindly for his. It’s an awkward angle to hold hands at, but he doesn’t complain. And awkward or not, it feels nice to be touched in a kind, even platonic way.

“What are you looking for?” Pepper asks at last, wiping at the wet, swollen skin beneath her eyes.

“Why? You want to help?” Tony asks.

“Might as well,” she says. “I always do your heavy lifting, don’t I?”

-

With Pepper’s help, they find the first letter. Somehow the Willy Wonka Initiative has reversed until Tony feels like a kid, ripping open chocolate bars, desperate for a glimpse of gold. At dawn, a cry echoes in the dining room startling Tony from where he was slumping against a tote, dozing.

“I’ve got one, Tony!” Pepper shouts. She’s barefoot, her panty hose taken off and folded on the table, her sensible jacket removed and slung over the back of a chair. Her rumpled shirt and tendrils coming free from her ponytail reveal how much energy she’s been putting into this with him—maybe to make up for her emotional outburst earlier, maybe like a mother humoring a child’s singular beneficial interest. “From Peter B. Parker, address is Queens, same as before.”

“What’s the date?” Tony asks. He slips in a pile of letters from last August and nearly breaks his neck. Wishful fucking thinking.

“Last May. Here—”

Tony takes the letter and collapses in a chair, his lower back grateful for the support. He recognizes Peter’s handwriting as he tears the letter open, and he can feel Pepper’s presence over his shoulder, reading along with him.

This letter is different from the others. Tony knows it right away. The first indication should have been the date; Tony’s most recent novel dropped early May of last year. His most controversial work to date, with praise glorious and venomous in kind. Which way did the scales tip when it came to Peter, Tony wonders.

I know that you won’t read this. I’ve written you twice a year since I was ten years old, and you’ve never written back. I don’t blame you. I’m sure you’re busy—I guess I just needed to get these words down somewhere, so that they exist, so that somewhere there is a record of me after I’m dead.

Tony reads the rest in a dazed blur. At one point, Pepper’s hand lifts to press against her mouth, but still they read on, huddled together for convenience and then for comfort.

In the letter, Peter describes the tragedy of his uncle’s death and how he felt personally responsible, and how after months of guilt, when he’d read about Natasha’s sacrifice, he’d decided to take action. Against himself.

If someone’s death can do so much good in the world, Peter wrote with shaky script. Then maybe mine could too. I’m not deluded or anything. I know that I’m not a superhero and that I’m not fighting against some sanctimonious super villain. But I feel like if my death could make May’s life easier, then I have to do it.

“Jesus. Tony, don’t read this—” Pepper reaches out for the letter but Tony nearly rips it in half trying to keep it away from her.

It’s not just for May, Peter admits. I’m ready to stop hurting, too.

Peter signs off, for good. Only it hadn’t been for good—Peter’s most recent letter had obviously proven that, and hadn’t he written it himself? Ignore my last letter, obviously, he’d said. Something must have changed Peter’s mind, but one thing was clear: it hadn’t been Tony. Because Tony had been so self-absorbed, so tangled in his own grief and ego and addictions he hadn’t even read the letter. If Pepper hadn’t saved it, then it might have been destroyed, no record left of Peter’s words at all.

“Tony,” Pepper says. She takes the letter from his fingers and he lets it go. His hands are numb. “This isn’t your fault. Peter obviously was unstable—he’d just watched his uncle being murdered in front of him. No one in their right mind would read Natasha’s death and think that you were encouraging them to take their own life.”

“I know that,” Tony snaps. Lying. Then: “I’m not an idiot, Pep.”

Maybe the biggest lie of all.

[vvoodoo]

〔 GAVIN LEATHERWOOD, 21, CISMALE, 〕╰  WAYLAND KENNEDY  just  came  over  half - blood  hill .  you  know ,  the  child  of  NEMESIS  who  was  claimed four  years  ago ?  i’ve  heard  chiron  say  that  he  is  INTELLIGENT &  RESOURCEFUL ,  but  if  you  ask  the  aphrodite  kids ,  they’d  say  they’re  CUNNING &  VENGEFUL .  i’d  say  they  remind  me  of  a  coin  toss  before  a  match  ,  vintage  leather  jackets,  old  vinyl  records  and  fingers  crossed  behind  backs  when  they’re  lying  especially  since  they’re  FOR THE NEW CABINS .  (  ✎  samuel ,  21 ,  he/him ,  gmt .  )

basics .

name :  wayland  kennedy. nicknames :  way,  w,  ken,  ken  doll. birth date :  april 15th 1999 . gender :  cisgender male . pronouns :  he/him . ethnicity :  native  american  /  european.   nationality :  american  citizenship. hometown :  born  in  colorado,  usa.   demigod abilities :  the  ability  to  make  difficult  decisions  quickly  in  battle,  vengeance sensitivity  and  superiority  and  loyalty  as  an  ally  in  battle.   cabin number & godly parent :  cabin  sixteen,  nemesis.   how did their godly parent meet their mortal parent? :  it  was  1998  and  wayland’s  father,  a  serial  adulterer,  decided  to  go  out  to  cheat  on  his  then  girlfriend.  he  met  a  mature  looking  woman  and  took  it  as  a  challenge  to  take  her  to  bed.  he  was  allergic  to  responsibility  but  loved  the  thrill  of  the  chase  and  when  a  child  was  dropped  on  his  doorstep  nine  months  later  with  nothing  but  an  address  (  to  camp  half  blood  ),  she  must’ve  thought  it  was  a  fitting  punishment.  not  only  did  he  have  to  admit  he  cheated  on  his  still  then  girlfriend,  but  now  he  had  a  kid  to  prove  it.  

muse  appearance .

faceclaim :  gavin  leatherwood . height :  5′9 ! hair colour :  dark  brown . eye colour :  brown . dominant hand :  right  -  handed. distinguishing features :  curly  hair  that  is  always  somewhat  out  of  place .  a  horizontal  scar  along  the  length  of  his  chin  from  when  he  split  it  open  in  a  practice  fight  at  fifteen,  another  scar  in  between  his  index  and  middle  finger  from  a  piranha  bite,  a  third  scar  under  the  right  side  of  his  jaw  from  the  battle  of  manhatten.  dress style :  he  likes  to  cuff  his  jeans  at  the  ankle  but  he  will  die  before  he  wears  skinny  jeans.  even  cuffs  his  shorts.  he  puts  pins  on  literally  everything  he  wears,  even  though  that  isn’t  practical.  there  are  pins  on  his  t-shirts,  on  his  dress  shirts,  on  his  jackets,  on  his  jeans.  he  will  never  be  seen  without  one.  fight  him.  also  loves  suspenders  hanging  down  at  his  waist  washed  out  crew  necks  because  that’s  basically  all  he  wears.  (  here’s  a  visual.  )  different  colours  of  the  same  shirt,  sometimes  with  a  graphic,  sometimes  without  a  graphic.  owns  approximately  two  (  2  )  flannels  because  they  had  graphics  on  the  back,  refuses  to  wear  any  other  kind.  lives  exclusively  in  converse.  

camp - related .

go - to  weapon : a  double  bladed  axe.   ambrosia :  distinctly  like  a  key  lime  pie.   favourite camp location :  north  woods.  he  loves  the  mystery  that  shrouds  them  and  he  loves  the  adventure  too.   their opinion of their godly parent :  wayland  is  actually  very  close  with  nemesis.  he  can  put  it  down  to  being  claimed  before  the  deal  was  struck,  and  the  fact  he  felt  that  was  somewhat  of  a  personal  victory.   age they were claimed : he  was  seventeen  ,  it  was  four  years  ago.    how they were claimed :  he  was  one  of  the  lucky  ones  that  got  to  be  claimed  prior  to  percy’s  deal.  he  has  a  more  generous  relationship  with  his  mother,  and  he  can  only  assume  it’s  due  to  making  the  best  of  a  bad  situation  when  it  comes  to  his  upbringing.  he  isn’t  at  all  phobic  or  allergic  to  responsibility  but  rather  formed  himself  into  the   stance on the new cabins : for  the  new  cabins / against  the  new  cabins / neutral . reason for their stance :  here  is  where  you’ll  explain  why  your  character  feels  the  way  they  do  about  the  new  cabins . their opinion on lyssa pentelute :  as  a  child  of  nemesis  himself,  he  thinks  she’s  spiting  herself  at  the  end  of  the  day.  he  knows  that  she  suffered  under  the  hands  of  a  mother  who  wouldn’t  claim  her,  but  would  claim  him,  and  while  he  resents  that  decision,  he  thinks  there  are  bigger  fish  to  fry.  their  world  was  almost  destroyed  by  disputes  burning  just  like  this  and  frankly,  he’s  in  no  hurry  to  charge  into  another  battle  of  manhattan.   quests :  yes,  he  hasn’t  made  a  habit  of  it,  but  he  does  enjoy  stretching  his  legs  and  his  talents  in  battle.   

personality .

positive traits :  intelligent,  resourceful,  loyal,  direct . negative traits :  cunning,  vengeful,  unforgiving,  taunting . mbti :  entj-a .  the  commander .   alignment :  lawful good . hogwarts house :  gryffindor .    kinsey scale :  kinsey 2. predominantly heterosexual,  but more than incidentally homosexual .  archetype :  “  the  innocent  child  ”  self  &  “  the  innocent  child  ”  persona .   what candle scent are they :  mahogany  teakwood . goals & desires :  being  known  for  victory,  keeping  the  peace  after  the  battle  of  manhattan,  maintaining  a  respectful  &  generous  relationship  with  his  godly  mother,  the  refining  of  his  skills  day  by  day .  also,  key  lime  pie .  always  pie .   fears :  realising  he’s  been  living  a  lie,  losing  the  respect  of  the  gods,  being  ex-communicated  by  camp  half -  blood,  questioning  whether  he  only  does  things  from  a  place  of  strategy  not  legitimacy .     hobbies :  he  plays  the  guitar,  not  well,  but  in  his  spare  time  he  likes  to  mess  around  with  the  few  chords  he’s  learnt.  also  a  very  amateur  dancer  to  the  music  he’s  always  listening  to.  (  he  really  should  be  more  alert  most  of  the  time,  he  needs  to  work  on  that.  )  he’d  love  to  get  into  piercing.  like  actual  piercing.  he’s  for  hire  if  you’re  willing  to  risk  the  infections.      habits :  he  fidgets  with  the  material  of  his  suspenders  when  nervous,  characteristically  pulls  them  up  and  over  himself  a  few  times  in  the  morning  while  getting  dressed,  before  letting  them  hang  at  his  waist  as  always.  will  never  be  seen  without  a  protein  bar  but  never  seems  to  actually  buy  them.  (  he  won’t  tell  anyone  how  they  materialise,  even  if  it’s  entirely  mundane  at  the  end  of  the  day.  )  once  shaved  a  slit  in  his  eyebrow  and  hated  it  so  much  he  now  subconsciously  rubs  over  the  area  that  was  shaved  when  stressed.  (  or  feeling  exposed.  )   

[1358456]

Review Response, June 21-27, 2020

Well, I guess the DE update doesn’t exist. So I’ll see that story again in Valentine’s Day.

But a miracle has happened in this week, so... yay!

Destiny #017

1)  Hi! I know, long time no see. I’m incredibly sorry for not reviewing sooner, but I guess better late than never, huh? In any case I’m here to stay! Reading this chapter reminded me of how interesting this story really is and I can’t wait to read more. But seeing as it’s been some time I’m going to reread it in order to freshen my memory (I decided to review anyways since I can still review the quality of your fic, which is as I remember, very good). I admit when Peter first mentioned that Ruby was easy to control because of his lack of control over his emotions (and whatnot) unlike Sapphire, I was a bit confused. Wouldn’t it be the other way? I thought to myself, but then I remembered that Sapphire had done some growing up herself. She might’ve not had as much control previously but she certainly does now. As this was kinda proven later on when she was contemplating on what emotion she should be feeling at the moment. And this can be seen as indecision, but I rather thought that this was proving your previous statement correct and that this was her way of finding a little control of the situation. Speaking of what happened a bit later, I was pleasantly surprised of Blue sparing Sapphire’s sanity. I always had hope in Blue despite her obvious turning... but this really proves that Blue can (and most likely will) realize that despite Peter’s kindness she’ll have to betray him because what he’s doing simply isn’t right. I realize now that she probably also followed him because of him brainwashing her, but I can’t remember this particular detail... damn maybe I should’ve reread this before reviewing. Ah well, I’m this far into it anyways. In any case, although this chapter was short I fully enjoyed it. Especially Y’s inner monologue at the end. I do have a soft spot for light angst :’) (I’m sure you can call it that, right...?) so, thank you!

WELCOME BACK!! Yes, it’s always better late than never. After all, as I said before...

I’LL WAIT A THOUSAND SUMMERS!

For Ruby and Sapphire’s “control” issue, I was actually thinking about their little Hidden Power interaction. Sapphire has strong intuition and instincts, and is in full control of her senses. Or at least that was a part of it, anyways. This chapter was written years ago, so I don’t remember all the details. Hehe.

As for Blue... There’s a little character arc for her across all of my stories. If you read my stories in order of creation, you can kind of see it. First is when she’s neglected and is just rolling with it while feigning cheeriness (SE/SA/SR), but then it just piles up and she goes into depression (SA/SL/Destiny), then she kind of snaps and goes rampant (SL/Destiny), then she finds the one piece of true happiness in her life and starts to turn it around (Destiny), and eventually successfully attains happiness and stays that way (Destiny/Legacy). So you’re at the moment in Destiny where Blue has gone rampant but is trying to turn it around.

... I think I need to reread this story too. Hehe. I don’t really remember what happens in each chapter... except for a certain few, that is.

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Destiny #018

1)  That’s... awful... Poor Y, who was already suffering so much, both physically and mentally. She didn’t even get to hear X say what he wanted to say to her. And if they don’t meet again she’d live the rest of her life not truly knowing where she stood with X. Always filled with guilt. Such is the sadness of the situation, but I can still hope! Hope that Y will meet X again and he’ll be able to tell her his thoughts. Though come to think of it, poor X too. He’ll have to speak with his seniors and he’s obviously really uncomfortable with that and doesn’t even have Y around to help him. Welp, to go to another depressing topic there’s also Sapphire’s situation to discuss. It is at the point not that disobeying Peter *would* be interfering with his plans, since it’s crucial that Sapphire be broken. Will Blue be able to disobey? Impossible to know, you can only hope that she does. On another topic, after rereading the fic (oh god I’d forgotten how long this was, it’s truly amazing the dedication you’ve had for this fic) I kept thinking back to Peter’s “blank eyes” you mentioned in the earlier chapters. This is a vague and rather shoddy theory, but the only thing I could think that would be the cause of the blankness is him being brainwashed as well. This is rather obvious, but this leads to who might be brainwashing him. Clearly this would be someone (or something..?) that would benefit from the restoration of the legendary’s and this would bring us to suspect #1: Zygarde. Now, I haven’t actually read the XY arc nor played the game (ik ik but I can still have a fellow feeling for X and Y) so I don’t know what this dude is capable of, but I can assume that this is within the realm of possibilities. And it would make sense with the whole blinking lights thing that Blue noticed that was going on a couple chapters ago. ‘Cause I mean, why else would this random guy help the legendaries, it’s all just a bit too sketchy. I am no detective, so I think these are fairly obvious, but they’re all I have going for me right now. This was a lovely chapter (writing of course, I can hardly apply that to the atmosphere), and I can’t wait to read the next one.

Poor Y indeed. Really. Poor Y... hehehe...

Destiny’s not THAT long, is it? ... 220 000 words... well, it’s not longer than SA which has 225 000, but... that difference is practically negligible. ... I wonder how long Legacy would end up... Anyways.

I don’t know if it’s obvious or not. I have a hard time with that. Sometimes I put in obvious hints in my stories and no one catches on. Sometimes I put vague hints in my stories and no one catches on. So I can’t tell if it’s subtle or blatant. I think for the Mega Hunter, there were a lot of subtle and blatant ones.

Now for Zygarde... well, the Neural Para... er... mind control is not really in its arsenal. Destiny’s plans were written shortly after XY games were released. Zygarde was kind of worthless there, but given what happened with Kyurem, I suspected that it would get a cooler new form. But then in SM, it turned out that its cooler new form was just a massive health buff. And it still gets annihilated by Xerneas, so... pfft. But I think I used its signature moves pretty well. Especially, say... Core Enforcer. Hahaha.

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Destiny #019

1)  Ok, first of all, WHAT KINDA QUESTION IS THAT? How can I choose? Both options of your review survey thing are so sad... but after a moment’s thought, I think the second option is better. If Y were to continuously push herself then she’d just die. End of story. But with the second option, although incredibly risky and kinda pointless for X to go save her, the chances of them both staying alive are possibly higher, and Y would know Ax’s true feelings. This I think, would be what you referred to as the “happy ending”. Unless you actually said it outright that it’s the opposite and I just completely missed it. But anyways I’ve spent enough on Y’s situation lmao. I think I might switch over to Blue now, because something has been nagging me for a while. I feel like slapping this woman. I know she’s partially under the control of Peter (or assuming that my previous theory is correct, Zygarde’s), but, murder? Thankfully she admitted this chapter that she was, in fact, NOT wanting to murder anyone. But when she let anger blind her she was quite willing to do away with Green. And she has reason! Was Green did to her was beyond shitty, but killing him is just a little overtop. And she tried to justify it by saying, “Peter is the only one that has been kind to me” so it’s ok that I betray even my closest friends whom I’ve known for years even if I haven’t kept much in contact (besides Silver smh). She clearly knows what Peter is doing is wrong and while I don’t think that anyone is a saint and everyone makes mistakes, I’m still thinking “come on”. Plus, it’s not difficult to see how Peter’s kindness is really just a way to benefit him. Though I can let that one slide since it’s easy to fool yourself. Despite all that, later on in the chapter after feeling annoyance at Blur for seriously trying to blame Y for wanting to give X back *his* Mega Ring (plus why do they call it ring) just because it’d been a gift to her (and reminding myself that she also had reason to feel that way but whatever) it was very nice to see her being selfless. Which might be an awful thing to ask of her now, but it was the right thing to do. And that’s gratifying on its own, right? I feel as if these reviews have started to just be me ranting at this point. Can you still enjoy these..? But honestly there isn’t much to review at this point. I’ve touched a lot on your actual writing in past reviews, and since it’s the same fic the style hasn’t exactly change. Though I can still admire how seamlessly you seem to write, even while changing point of views. Quickly changing scenes from something a little peaceful, to a battle, which you are able to describe in detail and yet still be engaging. Ah, I got kind of sidetracked, didn’t I? In any case all I have yet to do is speculate what’s going to happen next, but alas, I have no idea. I assume there’s a somewhat happy ending, with a final battle with Peter and the legendaries, not to mention the plot twist. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

Huh? ... Oh right. The review survey. Hahaha. Second option, huh? I think I remember most people choosing that option. But... if you look at the choices, it seems pretty clear, right? And I just love to break expectations. Hehe...

Now, as for what’s happening with Blue, it’s explored a lot more in the upcoming chapters, with everything being explained in... 25? 26? And I do believe that all the issues you have will be resolved.

Hehe. Asking a girl, who after being neglected for years is finally trying to find some happiness for herself, to be selfless? How awful! Hahaha.

Of course I still enjoy these! Despite being called “reviews”, they’re more like “comments”, really. Just tell me what you liked about each chapter, what you didn’t like, what you hope to see in the future, what you don’t want to see, and/or just your thoughts/feelings while reading. So precisely what you’ve been doing already. It’s fine~! :)

I greatly look forward to seeing more!

[timeforelfnonsense]

Apprentice April 2

(sprite by Jilljoycearts )

LONG POST

1. What does your character feel when they see their LI for the first time each day?

Fable has such a tender adoration for Julian. She’s been very guarded and private about her authentic feelings for most of her life so having someone she can be soft with means a lot to her.  She loves waking up and knowing he’ll still be there no matter what.

2. What things does your character love about their LI?

She loves how thoughtful and selfless he his. Fable is a little self centered at times and she admires how willing to care for others and put their needs before his own.

She loves how emotionally intelligent he is.

She loves his wit and sense of humor .

She loves his kindred sense of adventure and wanderlust

She loves his sharp features, lushes hair, his absurd tallness, his shoulders and hands.

3. What things about their LI annoy them?

When he crosses the line from selfless to babying. Fable is very independent and sometimes Julian can smother her a bit. Sometimes his devotion to her can make her feel a little claustrophobic due to her childhood trauma but she’s working on it.  

Julian has a habit of talking about his work with a bit too much enthusiasm and it grosses her out.

Julian: “You should have seen this guy’s leg today Fable! The bone was all the wa-”

Fable: “JULIIIIANNN”

4. Who does what chores?

They are both a little messy but share chores around the shop. They both grew up on ships so they have plenty of experience swabbing the deck lol

5. Do they prefer to stay at home, or do they like to go out?

The both love to go out! Drinking and dancing are always favorites. They go and see plays pretty often as well!  

6. What are some little things they do for each other throughout the day?

Fable is a pretty good cook actually so she often brings Julian lunch and coffee when he’s at the clinic.

Julian leaves her little lovey-dovey notes around the shop. 

7. What are some private jokes they share?

If you’ve read the first few chapter’s of For Lovers and Fools, you’ll know that they met when Fable asked Julian to walk her home while pretending to be her betrothed. They joked about being engaged all the time before the plunge/when they weren’t really dating and would sometimes put on the act for strangers.

Julian lost his v card to Fable like 7 years before the events of the route and their is some occasional teasing over how Julian was “cuntstruck” by her for almost a decade. 

8. What are some embarrassing couple stories?

oooo as previously mentioned Julian lost his virginity to Fable when h e was 21 and she was 19. She said something a little too dirty for him and he ended up being kind of a two pump chump. Fable is a sex positive icon though and made sure he knew she still had fun but oh boy he was embarrassed about it for a long time.

Fable likes to get Julian riled up and flustered around other people. Countless awkward erections...  

They both like to drink a little too much and have gotten in hot water with the guard for rowdy behavior. 

9. Is their relationship open or exclusive?

Ok. This is a really big and hard question. Fable has a lot of commitment issues and is really afraid of letting people close enough to hurt her because of some abandonment issues. She is also very independent and values freedom. She has a lot of fears about being “owned”. She is really up front about this with her partners. The majority of her relationships have been friends with benefits or one nightstands. She’s only ever been in love with one person other than Julian and they were very on again off again. 

 Moreover, her father is a wood elf and for the most part they are non-monogamous and her mother’s people don’t have a persuasion for it either (monogamy is common but just as much as non monogamy). So She has never been in an exclusive relationship. She just didn’t grow up worrying about finding someone to be with long term.

I’ve added a little passage from a WIP that encapsulates her feelings. 

“So,” Julian’s voice was pitched a bit higher than normal. His brows knit together, thinking of the right thing to say, “We should probably talk about what happened in the library… ” 

“It was a bit of debauchery, not a big deal, Julian. Fun is fun, no strings attached.” 

He put his hand on her slender shoulders, “ When I told you I wanted you that night on the docks, I meant it.” 

She turned away from him her arms tight across her chest, “Look Julian, I really like you. But, I don’t really do commitment.”

Julian looked at her blinking, “So, you don’t want to be with me?” 

She looked back at him over her shoulder rolling her eyes, “Never said that.” 

“You said-” 

“I said I didn’t do commitment, not that I didn’t want you. Not the same thing at all.” Fable shrugged, “I’m just not the kind of woman who wants to belong to someone else. And besides you hardly know me. How do you know that I’m the kind of person you want to be attached to.” 

“Fable I don’t want to own you. That, that isn’t what relationships are. Not that I’m proposing a relationship. That is, we did just meet and-” 

She cocked her head curls tumbling over her shoulder. Her cherry lips curled into a blithe smile that could stop a man’s heart. She let out an amused laugh, strengthening the lapel of his jacket. 

“Oh, you are a sweet one doctor. That’s exactly what relationships are.” She took his hands into her own drawing them to her lips, “ I will give you my affection, my body, my company, but my independence is something I will surrender to no one.” 

He followed a few paces behind her  the rest of the way. Remaining silent whilst mulling over their conversation. He’d only known her for a short time. He had no reason to feel so disappointed in her disdain towards commitment. Yet, her words had put a pit in his stomach, Still, he’d take as much of herself as she was willing to share without complaint. There was something strangely familiar about her words. A bittersweet deja vu that caused his temples to ache. 

That being said she and Julian are exclusive. He is the first person to want to be exclusive with her. Post game she and Julian are in a really good place and they have a really long and good talk about what they are. He would have been willing to keep things open but she could tell he was only offering for her sake. Julian gives her a sense of security and genuine love she has only had with one other person and she hasn’t wanted to be with anyone else sense they got together. 

10. How often do they need to be intimate?

They hump like rabbits. They both have pretty high sex drives and physical touch is a shared love language. 

11. Have they ever fought?

 They don’t fight too much. Julian is emotionally intelligent enough to tell when she’s upset and Fable is pretty diplomatic so things normally work out before an argument happens. They have a bit of a Fenris/Isabella vibe and normally settle things with a bit of hummor:  

Fable: (Sighs) This is silly. I don't want to argue.

Julian: Do you want to guess what color my underclothes are again?

Fable: Oh, yes, that's much more fun.

I think their biggest argument is a lot like the argument from eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, both pre and post respawn.

Pre respawn: "Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours."

Post respawn:

https://youtu.be/_q0ZZKbzITI

It is much of the same argument but this time around Julian is able to understand and acknowledge her fears much better than the first time around. He was young and still had a lot of his own growth to do when he first met her her but they’ve both grown up a lot in the time between their first kinda relationship and now.

12. Describe their perfect date

A night at the Raven or a little trip on the harbor with the slope!

13. Do they have an evening routine?

They take a bath together.

Julian Brushes her hair 

She rubs his back.

14. Describe a “paid scene” with your character and their LI

It would be fable just teasing and flirting with Julian at the Raven!

“I can feel my cheeks blushing from just thinking about what I could say to you”

15. Would they go on a double date?

Totally! They are both extroverts and people-people! They would be that couple that is a little too all over each other during a double date though! 

16. Who pops the question?

Fable is a known  Gamophobia.

This is a major charter trait for her in both my arcana and dnd cannons. It has a lot to do with her parents and how she was treated by the elf side of her family. That being said I think Julian is about the only person who could get her to settle down. They are well suited for each other being similar in a lot of ways but really different in others. Julian is quick to fall and very open with his feeling and that offers her a security she isn’t used to.

Julian is the one to propose.

He does it on a trip to Nevivon.

He takes her out to the dock at sunset.

There is a big gushy speech

The ring is a ruby from a temple of Sune:  associated with love, especially faithful passionate commitment and closeness. As well as being on of Fable’s favorite colors and a call back to the “wedding” ring she gave him when they first met. 

She PANICS. But does say yes.

17. Describe the wedding

They get married at sea as its a shared passion

It’s a big mish mash of their cultures.

Fable is half wood elf and her mother is fantasy Celtic and Julian is fantasy Russian Jewish.

A hand fasting & blood oath

“ Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone, I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One. I give ye my Spirit, 'til our Life shall be Done.” (I like outlander sue me)

A pebble toss

Couples in ancient times were often married near some sort of water source such as a lake, river or holy well, believed to be favored by the Celtic gods. Wedding guests were each given small stones to cast into the water while making a wish for the couple's future happiness.

A chuppah

A glass breaking

Lots of dancing and rowdy partying

Her family sails out for the wedding as well as all of their friends and family from Nevivon and Vesuvia.

Fables dress:

I’ve included a cute little mood board.

A big Celtic gown made mostly by her aunt and mother but also worked on by herself and Portia. It’s an important custom in her culture that all the women of the clan make the wedding dress.

She wears Julian’s mother’s pearls given to her at the masquerade

A  kokoshnik that belonged to Lilinka

18. Any babies?

I’m not sure I want to make this 100% cannon but, eventually they have at least daughter named Keava! She has Fable’s eyes and Julian’s hair. She was very much unplanned but it all worked out! I kind of like the idea of them being like fergus and marsali from outlander though and keeping the population up.

19. Do they stay in Vesuvia, or eventually move somewhere else?

They travel a lot! Right after they go back to piracy for a bit  but keep the shop and clinic as a home base.

20. Talk about that family life.  What’s it’ like?

Julian is the best dad ever.

They are both open door policy parents 

They both have strong family ties and have a  multi-culti home for their kid(s).

[creepingsharia]

“They Asked Him to Deny Christ” - Muslim Persecution of Christians, August 2019

by Raymond Ibrahim

Hate for and Violence against Christians

Cameroon: Militant Muslims reportedly connected with the Nigerian based Islamic terror group, Boko Haram, “reached new heights” of depravity, according to a report: after devastating the Christian village of Kalagari in a raid, they kidnapped and fled with eight women.  Some of the women were later released—but only after having their ears cut off (image here).  The report adds that  Boko Haram “has terrorised Christian communities in Nigeria for the last decade and has now splintered and spread its violent ideology into Cameroon, Niger and Chad.”

Nigeria: On August 29, Chuck Holton, a CBN News reporter, aired a segment on his visit with Christian refugees who had fled Boko Haram’s incursions into their villages.  Among the stories of death and devastation, the following, spoken by a young man, stood out: “On 29 September 2014 was the day that they attacked my village. Around ten I had a call that they have killed my dad. They asked him to deny Christ and when he refused they cut off his right hand. Then he refused [again], they cut to the elbow. In which he refused, before they shot him in the forehead, the neck, and chest.” “Many of the 1,500 Christians living in this camp have similar stories,” adds Holton.

Indonesia: A Muslim preacher in a Christian majority region referred to the Christian cross as “an element of the devil,” prompting outrage among Christians and some moderates.   Sheikh Abdul Somad made the comment during a videotaped sermon when he was asked why Muslims “felt a chill whenever they saw a crucifix.”   “Because of Satan! Was his response: “There’s an evil jinn in every crucifix that wants to convert people into Christianity.”  Christians and moderates condemned his words.  Even so, “I can’t imagine the reaction if it had been another preacher of a different religion insulting an Islamic symbol,” observed one moderate. “There would have been a tsunami of protests, with the perpetrator severely punished.”  Sheikh Somad responded by releasing another video; his excuse was that he was unaware that non-Muslims might hear his words: “The Quran reciting session was held in a closed mosque, not at a stadium, a football field, nor aired on television,” he explained. “It was for Muslims internally. I was answering a question about statues and the position of the Prophet Isa (Jesus) relative to Muslims.”

Burkina Faso: Although most mainstream media downplay the religious element in Muslim on Christian violence in Africa, attacks on the Christians of Burkina Faso have become so flagrantly based on religion that the Washington Post published a report on August 21 titled,  “Islamist militants are targeting Christians in Burkina Faso.”  Its author, Danielle Paquette, explained that “A spreading Islamist insurgency has transformed Burkina Faso from a peaceful country known for farming, a celebrated film festival and religious tolerance into a hotbed of extremism.”  She noted that the jihadis have been checking people’s necks for Christian symbols, killing anyone wearing a crucifix or carrying any other Christian image.   In a separate report discussing several deadly attacks on Christians and their churches, Bishop Dabiré said, “If this continues without anyone intervening, the result will be the elimination of the Christian presence in this area and — perhaps in the future —in the entire country.

Egypt: Authorities reinstated Sheikh Yasser Burhami, a notoriously “radical” cleric and hate preacher, to the pulpit (minbar) despite strong opposition.  Burhami had previously issued numerous fatwas—edicts based on Islamic scriptures—that demand hate and hostility for non-Muslims, most specifically the nation’s largest and most visible minority, the Christian Copts, whom Burhami has referred to as “a criminal and infidel minority,” and has invoked “Allah’s curse” on them.  He once went so far as to say that, although a Muslim man is permitted to marry Christian or Jewish women (ahl al-kitab), he must make sure he still hates them in his heart—and show them this hate—because they are infidels; otherwise he risks compromising his Islam.  Burhami has also stated that churches—which he refers to as “places of polytheism (shirk) and houses of infidelity (kufr)”—must never be built in Egypt.  He issued a separate fatwa forbidding Muslim taxi and bus drivers from transporting Christian clergymen to their churches, an act he depicted as being “more forbidden than taking someone to a liquor bar.”  Burhami’s fatwas also include calling for the persecution of apostates, permitting Muslim husbands to abandon their wives to rape, permitting “marriage” to 12-year-old girls,  and banning Mother’s Day.  In a video, Dr. Naguib Ghobrial, a Coptic activist, politician, and head of the Egyptian Union for Human Rights Organization—which over the years has lodged 22 separate complaints against Burhami—repeatedly questioned Egypt’s leading religious authorities’ decision to reinstate the hate preaching sheikh:

Is what Burhami teaches truly what Islam teaches—is that why no one has done anything to him [in regards to the 22 complaints lodged against him]?  Truly I’m shocked!  Please answer Sheikh of Al Azhar; please answer Grand Mufti: are the things Burhami teaches what Islam teaches?  Is this why none of you oppose him or joined us when we lodged complaints against him?… Why are you so silent? Amazing!

The Slaughter of Christians

Pakistan: “A ten year old Christian child who chose to work in a dangerous scrap factory so he could support his mother who had to fend for a family of two boys and a drug-addict husband, was raped and tortured before being killed by his Muslim employers,” according to a report (with photos).  Badil, 10, worked at the men’s factory in order to support his impoverished mother, Sharifa Bibi:

I worked hard for many hours just for the sake of my two sons so that they would not have to suffer as I have suffered without education.  My son Badil couldn’t bear to see the struggle of his mother and insisted on working to help the family—despite my insistence that he avoid work till he was older.  Badil was such a responsible son.  Daily before leaving for work he asked me what should bring in the evening from his wages.  I insisted that he kept his money for himself, but he brought groceries like sugar, rice, flour, ghee daily.

Badil had to walk long distances and work for many hours a day to earn the equivalent of one dollar a day.  Soon his employer began to cheat him on his wages.  His mother insisted that he quit, but the boy persevered; at one point he took his younger brother, 9, with him to help.  When the employers refused to pay his brother anything for his contribution, Badil finally decided to quit—which angered his Muslim employer.  His younger brother recalls:

As Mr Akram heard this he ran to hit Badil but Badil ran from the shop and Akram gave chase.  However, A friend of Akram was standing nearby on his motorcycle and told Akram to sit behind him, then both men chased Badil till they caught up with him. Akram then got off the motorcycle and dragged Badil back to the store.  They took Badil inside the store which is full of scrap.  For half an hour I was completely unaware of what was happening with Badil inside.  Eventually both men came outside and pretended as if nothing had happened inside.  I thought my brother had also left the store from another exit so I went to look for him.  I searched vigorously for 15 minutes and then saw my mother [approaching to walk the boys home], so I rushed to her to tell her what had happened.

Sharifa and her younger son searched frantically for Badil and finally found him collapsed on the ground near their home.  They rushed to him, thinking he was exhausted from the day’s work and subsequent thrashing, but quickly realized that he was barely breathing: “At this point the whole situation was too much to bear for Sharifa who began to scream and wail hysterically,” the report notes.  Badil was taken to a hospital where, seven hours later, the boy was pronounced dead. His brother “has been traumatised following his brother’s death and hasn’t left his house since and often screams in terror thinking the men responsible will take him too.”

Cameroon: A Bible translator “was butchered to death on Sunday morning [August 25] during an overnight attack while his wife’s arm was cut off,” according to a report:  “Bible translator Angus Abraham Fung was among seven people said to have been killed during an attack carried out by suspected Fulani herdsmen sometime during the early hours of Sunday morning in the town of Wum, according to Efi Tembon, who leads a ministry called Oasis Network for Community Transformation.”  Fulani herdsmen are Muslim and the chief persecutors of Christian farmers in Nigeria.  “They went into houses and pulled out the people,” Tembon explained: “They attacked in the night and nobody was expecting. They just went into the home, pulled them out and slaughtered them.”  Fung’s wife, Eveline Fung, who had her arm hacked off was last reported as receiving a blood transfusion at a local hospital.

Attacks against Apostates and Evangelists

Iran: Authorities sentenced a 65-year-old woman, a Muslim convert to Christianity, to one year in prison, on the charge that she was “acting against national security” and engaging in “propaganda against the system.”  According to the report, “The hearing was owing to her arrest shortly before Christmas when three agents from Iranian intelligence raided her home and took Mahrokh to intelligence offices where she endured ten days of intensive interrogation before she was released after submitting bail of 30 million Toman (US$2,500).”  Friends of the woman said that “the judge was very rude and tried to humiliate Mahrokh after she disagreed with him.”

Separately, a Kurdish bookseller in Bokan, Western Azarbaijan province, was arrested for selling Bibles.  According to the August 27 report, “Mostafa Rahimi was arrested on 11 June on charge of selling bible[s] in his bookstore, and he was released later on bail until the court issued his sentence. Hengaw Organization for Human Rights has learned that Rahimi is sentenced to 3 months and 1 day imprisonment.  Later in mid-August he was arrested again, and he is currently at the central prison of Bokan.”  Another report elaborates: “Iran’s government is officially Islamic, and authorities actively restrict access to Bibles and other Christian literature. Sharing one’s faith is categorized as a criminal offense, usually of the national security nature. The authorities often pressure Christians so extensively, routinely violating their human rights, that they are given no choice but to escape their country.”

Somaliland: An August 16 report shares the experiences a married Muslim woman, 32, underwent after her husband discovered a Bible in her possession.

“I told my husband that I found the Bible in Nairobi and wanted to read it,” the woman responded. “He just pronounced the word talaq [Arabic for divorce] to me. I knew that our marriage had just been rendered null and void because I joined Christianity, so without wasting time I left the homestead….  There and then he took our two daughters [ages 4 and 7] away from me and divorced me.  He gave me a stern warning that I should not come close to the children, and that if I do, he will take the Bible to the Islamic court and I will be killed by stoning for becoming an apostate.”

Her former husband proceeded to expose the clandestine Christian to her Muslim family. “My brothers beat me mercilessly with sticks as well as denying me food,” she said. “I feared to report the case to the police or the local administration, because they will charge me with a criminal offense of apostasy in accordance with the sharia.”  She has since relocated to an undisclosed location: “God has spared my life, and my fellow underground Christians in other regions of Somalia have received me and shared the little they have, but I am very traumatized.”  According to the report,

Somalia’s constitution establishes Islam as the state religion and prohibits the propagation of any other religion, according to the U.S. State Department. It also requires that laws comply with sharia (Islamic law) principles, with no exceptions in application for non-Muslims.  Somalia is ranked 3rd on Christian support group Open Doors’ 2019 World Watch List of the 50 countries where it is most difficult to be a Christian.

Pakistan: After opening a summer education program for the youth, a Christian family was “terrorized” and forced to shut down on the accusation that they were clandestinely trying to convert Muslim children to Christianity.  According to a family member: “We started a project for interfaith harmony and education teaching marginalized children from different faiths about a year ago. In June, we started a summer camp that provided a free program for children that have dropped out of school. The design of this program was to provide guidance for these children to become civilized and tolerant.”  Two weeks into the summer program, a group of men, two of whom were armed, stormed into the academy, did violence to the property and harassed the children, and beat one of the instructors: “They threatened us with consequences if the academy was not shut down.  They alleged that we were promoting Christianity and were doing Christian evangelism.  For safety and security, we had no other choice but to obey the extremists and shutdown the academy….  I don’t want to lose my son or any family member. This terrorizing incident has already put us into trauma.”

In a separate incident in Pakistan, around 4 a.m. of August 2, seven Muslim men stormed into a parish house, where they tied up and savagely beat two young priests, Fr. Anthony Abraz and Fr. Shahid Boota, all while they “humiliated and abused them for preaching the Gospel in a Muslim-majority neighborhood.”  The invaders also vandalized the building—including by breaking windows, bookshelves, and cupboards—and desecrated Christian objects, including Bibles, Christian literature, and icons. Afterwards, “We were told we will have to face consequences if this house is not vacated,” Fr. Abraz reported. “They said, ‘We don’t want a Christian center near the mosque.’”

Finally, increasing numbers of Christian girls continue to be targeted for kidnapping, rape, and/or forced conversion in Pakistan.  According to one report,

In August, Yasmeen Ashraf, age 15, and Muqadas Tufail, age 14, were kidnapped and raped by three men in Kasur. The pair of Christian girls were taken when they were on their way to work as domestic workers.  Also in August, another young Christian girl, named Kanwal, was kidnapped, raped, and forcefully converted to Islam by a group of Muslim men and a cleric in Lala Musa, located in the Gujart District. After reuniting her family, Kanwal shared that she had been beaten, sexually assaulted, and threatened with the deaths of her brothers if she refused to convert to Islam.

In the previous month of July, at least three similar cases occurred.  “Oppression exists in different layers for Christian girls in Pakistan. They are suffering on the bases of gender, religion, and class. It has been documented that young Christian girls face higher levels of sexual harassment and are persecuted for their Christian faith,” Nabila Feroz Bhatti, a human rights defender in Lahore, said in response to the aforementioned incidents.  Similarly, the Pontifical charity, Aid to the Church in Need, announced in August that it “is sounding the alarm on the plight of young Christian women, and even teenagers, in Pakistan who are forced to convert to Islam.”  “Every year at least a thousand girls are kidnapped, raped, and forced to convert to Islam, even forced to marry their tormentors,” elaborated Tabassum Yousaf, a local Catholic lawyer.

Meanwhile, those who try to protect Christian girls are punished.  On August 16, Maskeen Khan and two other Muslim men attacked the home of Bahadur Masih, a Christian.  While holding a knife, Khan and his partners tried to rape Masih’s daughter, Rachel, but were prevented by the rudely awoken family that immediately and desperately responded.  “Since the Christian family was defending themselves, Khan also got some injuries,” Ahsan Masih Sindhu, a local Christian political leader, reported. “The family handed Khan over to police and he got medical treatment. However, he later died in police custody.”  Police arrested and charged four members of the family with murder, even though they were in their own home protecting their daughter from violent intruders.  Other members of the family have gone into hiding due to threats from the dead would-be rapist’s relatives.  “We are sad about the death of Khan, however, the Christian family did have the right to defend,” Sindhu explained. “The police must conduct a fair investigation into this incident.”  Instead, police are denying the family the “right to defend” itself.

Attacks on Churches

Algeria: On August 6, police barged into a church during worship service, evacuated reluctant worshippers, and sealed the church building off.  “I am deeply saddened by so much injustice – it breaks my heart,” Messaoud Takilt, the pastor said.  “This is not surprising since other Christian places of worship have been closed and sealed as was the case today. But anyway, we will continue to celebrate our services outside while the Lord gives us grace for a final solution.”  When police denied, with a veiled threat, his request to at least let the worship service conclude,  “The assembly finally yielded and agreed to leave the premises, but with much pain.  Some went out with eyes full of tears. ”  Police proceeded to empty the premises of all furniture and sealed off every door before the distressed pastor (picture here).  Responding to this latest church closure the World Evangelical Alliance issued a statement on August 12 calling on Algeria to cease closing and instead reopen churches. A portion follows:

We deeply regret that two additional churches were forcibly closed by administrative decisions, in May and in August 2019 in the city of Boudjima, northeast of Tizi-Ouzou in Kabylie Region.  This brings the number of forcibly closed churches to 6, including one house church…. Many more churches are threatened with closure, amid denial of formal registration and recognition by authorities.

Indonesia: Muslim protestors compelled local authorities to revoke a permit for and cease construction of a Baptist church in Central Java.  On August 1, residents went to the partially constructed church and padlocked its fence.  A meeting was later held between the church, local residents, authorities, and others.  Although the pastor displayed the governmentally issued permit to build a church, Muslim residents insisted that it was wrongly given, leading to a standstill in negotiations.  In the previous month, July, two other churches were shut down in Indonesia following local protests.

Turkey: St. Theodoros Trion, an abandoned, historic church—the original Greek congregation of which was purged by the Ottoman Empire—was vandalized, including with genocidal slogans.  According to the report,

The vandals sprayed hate speech across the church’s walls. The vandalism was largely a reference to the secularism that Ataturk, modern Turkey’s founder, had forced into the governmental structure….  Just a few years ago, the same church was targeted by Islamist vandals who wrote slogans such as “the priest is gone, he went to the mosque” — a reference to the country’s genocide and the forced conversions which occurred during this time. There are no Christians attending this church. All of the congregants were victims of the genocide. They faced death, deportation, and forced conversions. Those few who survived have since fled the country. The church currently stands as a historic monument to the Christianity that once was commonplace in the region.

Egypt: A Christian toddler was the latest, if inadvertent, victim of Egypt’s draconian restrictions on churches.    According to an August 21 report, Youssed Ebid, a 4-year-old Christian boy (photo), was struck by a tractor while waiting outdoors for a bus to take him to church in another village.  His own village is currently denied one, forcing its Christian residents to travel long distances to attend church.  Many Christians in Egypt are in the same situation, and accidents during their long treks are not uncommon.

Raymond Ibrahim, author of the new book, Sword and Scimitar, Fourteen Centuries of War between Islam and the West, is a Distinguished Senior Fellow at the Gatestone Institute, a Shillman Fellow at the David Horowitz Freedom Center, and a Judith Rosen Friedman Fellow at the Middle East Forum.

About this Series

The persecution of Christians in the Islamic world has become endemic.  Accordingly, “Muslim Persecution of Christians” was developed in 2011 to collate some—by no means all—of the instances of persecution that occur or are reported each month. It serves two purposes:

1)          To document that which the mainstream media does not: the habitual, if not chronic, persecution of Christians.

2)          To show that such persecution is not “random,” but systematic and interrelated—that it is rooted in a worldview inspired by Islamic Sharia.

[thethreemages]

Two, four, six, eight, time for yet another bio ref update~! ;D This time, the royal heirs to each of the new official countries I’ve created for the world map of The Three Mages” (as seen here).

More info about their characters can be found below:

-Princess Embyr (age 20) is the heir to the kingdom of Nydor, with some rather intriguing origins compared to some of her peers. Born out of wedlock with an appearance greatly differing from the average Nydorian citizen (as they'd usually be more gaunt-looking with muted haircolors, Embyr's thicker shape and bright red hair made her easily stand out among them), there were rumors spreading that Embyr could've possibly had a Daemon (who are said to be the dark counterparts of Fae Saints) as her father through some "unholy union". Neither Embyr nor her mother Vira ever confirmed/denied these rumors, as what mattered most was that they both lived in relative peace and comfort even in the ominous environments of their home country. As Embyr got older and her magic became more volatile, her protective mother reluctantly agreed to let her little girl attend St. Ravilda's to better-hone said magic. Though Embyr could easily be counted among the stronger students with her being cast as a "Meteor Mage" (allowing her to summon explosive balls of magic energy in combat), Embyr's bigger interests more lie with being an up-and-coming model... wanting to show the world that even someone who comes from a "scary" region like Nydor can exemplify beauty and grace as well as any other pretty-face celeb. To others, Embyr is known for being a pretty fun-loving and chill girl to be around... though if pushed enough even she can show her snarky mischevious side, almost coming across as a "cool big sis" figure . Was fairly popular among her peers at Ravilda's, with even Prym deep down considering Embyr one of her first "girl crushes" (though it didn't lead to anything else beyond a crush, as the girls are now mere casual friends at best). As much as she likes to look her best with a "sexy goth" appeal, Embyr herself actually identifies more on the Gray-Ace sexuality spectrum (though wouldn't mind a more romantic relationship if prompted for it). -Prince Alyx (age 16) is the heir to the kingdom of Kronia, and is the only one currently still in school as he's in his middle-late years of Ravilda's. A top student he is in terms of grade point average and studies... though as far as socializing is concerned, he's basically a total mess. Mostly spending his days huffing away like a snooty brat from everyone, preferring to stay indoors in his own personal "lab" while not really caring much for keeping himself "neat and tidy-looking", even for his royal status at home. His mothers tend to be pretty coddling and baby-ing over him, leaving him nothing short of embarrassed enough to try and find a way to make his own path now that he's alone at school. Two of his biggest "rivals" at school are Princess Zia and her friend Noira, whom both consider Alyx to be a total annoying geek while Alyx likes to rudely butt in with his own snobby comments at their antics. Hailing from a high-tech country like Kronia, Alyx found himself specializing as a "Gravity Mage", being able to levitate any number of objects as he wants (though he still has yet to balance the really heavy stuff like vehicles or buildings, much to his dismay). He's currently unsure of his own sexuality/romantic orientation as of yet, being far too busy with his studies to fully expand on that part of himself. -Prince Masyn (age 19) The crowned prince of Coronus, he is a soft-spoken and gentle young man who has a deep love for cats and even deeper love for reading old medical textbooks left behind by his late mother. Even though he is a bit more sensitive and shy than his boyfriend or father, Masyn has a sweet and caring nature that makes it hard for people to dislike him, and while he is struggling to find his own voice among his father's council, he does want to do what is best for his people. Despite many girls fawning over him due to his kind nature and handsome appearance, he is currently dating Prince Cole in secret... as they've known eachother as the best of friends throughout their years at Ravilda's together until finally coming to terms with their feelings near graduation time. In his time at school, Masyn was able to hone in his abilities as a "Sand Mage", being able to control any collection of dust and debris into swirling vortexes in combat. -Prince Cole (age 19) The crowned prince of Valemont, he comes off an intimidating and aloof young man who is quite proud to come from a long line of warriors, but he is actually a socially awkward and genuinely kind person who just has a hard time expressing his own feelings. Even though he does come off as more insensitive and bold when compared to his boyfriend, and he does have a bit of a snarky streak, he does want to make his people proud by becoming a good king someday. Despite him being considered handsome by many girls and guys alike, he is currently dating Prince Masyn in secret and hopes to find a way to be closer together with him even with their countries feuding against eachother. With Masyn's help, Cole was able to unlock more of his skills as a "Water Mage", specializing in summoning freezing jets of water to circle around his foes. -Princess Xoe (age 18) is the heir to the kingdom of Laveras, and a childhood friend of Dyani's as both their families were close together in the royal council. A bright, cheerful and energetic young woman, Xoe's always been up for the most adventurous challenges in life including traveling the world for some mage-exploring fun. With most other Laveras citizens at home being more stoic and collected in themselves, Xoe couldn't resist jumping on the chance to be free more at Ravilda's to express herself however she wants. To actually be allowed to smile and laugh more, run around the school without a care in the world with her "Speed Mage" abilities, as well as her own eventual realization/coming out as a transgender girl. Though as much as she likes being out and about from school and home responsibilities right now... she also deep down misses Dyani being there at her side since the girl has left to start her own singing career. Hopefully if they ever cross paths once more, that she'll be able to get it through to Dyani that her best friend is right there to have her back if she needs it. Her sexuality might be leaning on the Pan spectrum. -Queen Meirin (age 19) or "Rin" as she is known by her loved ones, is the unexpected teenage queen of Tianjin after her parents were unexpectedly killed via an assassination by a group of rogues. Formally being a typical, fun-loving teen girl with her own dreams of stardom... Meirin had to quickly give up those dreams to take up her parents' mantle fast, as her greedy grandfather had hopes of controlling the throne for his own schemes... causing Meirin to quickly close herself off as a colder, determined queen. Luckily Rin at least still has her more humble, caring uncle (who was unable to take the throne himself as the documents detailing his royal birthright mysteriously vanished one night) to look after her as she prepares herself for the duties of ruling Tianjin. Though she may not be the most vibrant and smiling girl around, Meirin's friends still consider pretty cool to hang with as Meirin's not only got some fun style and flair, but her blunt sense of sass and sword-fighting skills (which she picked up from former-mentor Taiyin Zhou during a time when Rin's "Wind Mage" abilities started faltering) were truly to reckoned with. Though she's got alot on her plate back at home, deep down Rin hopes to someday find a way to bring back some true fun and excitement in her life... and maybe somehow, some freedom to go with it too. Like Alyx, she hasn't really had the time to fully figure out what her own sexuality/orientation might be. -Princess Autem (age 21) is the heir to the kingdom of Efornia, and the first person to leave Elas' old mage group, as her sick mother had just passed away at the time and she felt like she needed to be there to tend to her younger sisters back home. Though she spent most of her earlier Ravilda days as a spacey, kinda air-headed girl... nowadays she's more firm in being like a maternal, doting figure for both her family and friends to look up to. Part of Autem always had some trouble fully opening up her feelings about certain things, not helped by how controlling and traditionalist her father can be. As her own mother was once an aspiring doctor in life, Autem hopes to take up her mantle to someday find a cure for some of the deadliest diseases spreading afoot in Terra... most specifically, one certain disease that mysteriously took the lives of not just Queen Elianne, but other innocents surrounding Graystone so many years ago. When she's not concocting potions and remedies for others, Autem's got some other useful abilities in her powers as an "Earth Mage", summoning mighty plants and flowers to assist her when needed (something that kinda made her and Rosabel brief rivals during their time at Ravilda's, as Rosabel is an Earth Mage too yet ironically Autem tended to score a higher grade-average than her). Her sexuality might lean towards the Pan spectrum. -Prince Hakem (age 23) is the heir to the kingdom of Vul-Dor, and one of Finn's oldest friends during their time at school, though they did lose touch after Finn joined Elas' mage group a few years back. Much like his childhood friend, Hakem is a laid-back and gentle teddy bear of a giant who is far too chill and nonchalant for his own good sometimes, as he barely reacts to all of the weird shit that goes around him when he hangs out with the other royal heirs. Though he can come off as this eerily calm and almost soft-spoken person who is quite smart for his age, he is actually a mischievous and cheeky know-it-all who loves mixing science and magic together, as he is quite curious about how magic works and he is always trying to further his understanding of how the world works in general. Despite being one of the more chaotic members of the royal heir squad, he is still pretty mature for his age as he acts as a source for comfort when the others are having a mental breakdown or they just need to vent; even Autem has gone to him to talk about her problems, as he has promised all of them that he would never reveal their secrets (giving signs that the two of them might be developing some "deeper" feelings beyond just a mere friendship, though at the moment Hakem and Autem seem pretty oblivious about it). Part of this comes from the fact that Hakem was quite lonely as a child with his parents always being busy, so he wants to keep the friends and be there for them. Even with his calm temperament though, Hakem can be a true force to be reckoned with in his abilities as a "Lava Mage", melting most obstacles with a fiery vengeance if he senses his allies in danger. He would most likely be Pan/Demi-sexual.

[shadowturtlesstuff]

again but better thoughts while reading

@polandbananas20

 so my spelling is terrible in this but you know i was more focused on the book than how to spell. 

Chapter 1) good intro and good starting tone. The lady next to her sucks. Good small establishment of shane.

chapter2)shane characterisation is still consistent. I like her two new roommates (will be best friends) . My guess is the boy in the kitchen will be pilot. Family means but not intentional. Has no confidence. I was right about the boy

Chapter 3) intro of pilot properly. He's good. I love the inner monologue of shane. Trying to keep eye contact, the surprise of having a normal conversation. It sets her character well. Intro to her blog which i would love to actually read (i hope there's at least one entry we can read) pilot is a musician but not. Business major. What crap. 

Chapter 4) i really feel like shane, she is just typical fangirl/ dork and i love it. Its weird being english and reading about the things that shock them like pasta in bags.i understand the watermelon.we do get to read ‘shanes writing’ but its her personal jornal not her blog.

Chapter 5) fun chapter. Intro to rome. Love the idea that shane is heavy handed and violent. Short, not alot happened other than small character establishment.

Chapter 6)intro to creative writing class which i want/need in my life.more beatles. Woman on plane works at starbucks, will she make more appearances? 

Chapter 7) the drama???or at least wht will be the drama. Pilot has a gf, called amy (wish it was me) (wait no, bc i know that plot doesnt actually like amy anymore bc he obviously likes shane. So i take it back. I want to be shane, i mean i basically am like her but oh well.)

Chapter 8) parents. Overprotective, think they know best. Urgh. guarantee one of shanes new friends fight back to her parents to support her life choices, that do not include doctor.

Chapter 9)gets an internship at travel mag company. Thats it…..

Chapter 10)rome. Looses purse. Pilot to the anxiety riddled rescue by telling his own life story about his wallet to help calm her nerves.distracts her. Basially he would do anything for shane already.re count of rome trip from her jornal again which is a good touch to further the plot. This is making me want to read dan brown (ish) all of two books i own of him

Chapter 11) the postcards are a nice touch that i hope someone reads???? Travel buddies..just saying.chad..hmmm,im like shane,well see if he is good enough for babe. Her GODDAM stupdi mean cousins being mean on her facebook, and babe seeing (best friend moment) about pilot and the whole teasing about having a boyfriend.

Chapter 12) he didnt see (but i think he did but istn sayin anything) paris i shappening. Babe is bff confirmed and i want her as my friend 

Chapter 13)angry birds addiction starts. Level three, weak, shoulder touching it romance confirmed.awwww pilot 100% waited to sleep so he could see shane safe in bed

Chapter 14) pilot with a french accent, enough  said. The flirtinggggg.  The plane woman  is back??in paris with them????

Chapter 15)pilots choices of the back in time thing are both wit shane. Its so obvious and i love it. Pilot as a fake fangirl about the eiffel tower. More flirting,kind of. Oh god chad no.he did it. Goddammit.nooo he wull run babe and shanes friendship and maybe her and pilot. ‘Assbucket’ indeed. Her an pilot are fine and i really believe her and babe will be because when she nearly gets robbed babe giver her a sympathetic smile. Not much to go on but i have hope.

Chapter 16)okay so, fav chapter, she finally spills her guts that she has anxiety basically, that she is premed with strict parents and this is scary whilst pilots lies in bed with her to relax her bc he heard her crying. He only ecoureges her slightly before going back to his bed and sleeping. My heart, i swear, soon the roles reverse and pilot will say why he is in london and all that.

Chapter 17)babe and shane bffs confired. Chad is the worst confirmed. Of course it wasnt  break up call. Of course she wants to vist. Of course pilot is to cowardly to break up and just accepts them going to paris together. Of freaking course.

Chapter 18) do not get over pilot, it wont work. Rugby guy nooooo!im team pilot how dare you kiss shane! Wow, city of glass mention. I want to make a list of every bookmentioned.

Chapter 19) pilot is not himself (obviouls) shane is worried. She is still lying to her parents an feeling bad about. Rugby guy is thankfully a no go. Pilot finds out about the kiss and guy and is clearly silently jealous. 

Chapter 20)aww shane! Im sorry pilot sucks currently. And a stupid guys trip with flat four. No. and devil chairs. 

Chapter 21)1)love the book talk.  The loneliness is kicking in, pilot man up for gods sake

Chapter 22)this red-head plain weirdo is back and going through her list like some sort of mentore. Omg!!! No. amy is here, i dont hatte her but can she not. Also, her dad…. No! (this is the stand up moment i was on about, i hope)

Chapter 23) i do not like her dad. At all. Nooo shane...no. they found out. And acted like assholes.

Chapter 24) n1!ahhhh no! Amy has her notebook. The end is nigh.im going to cry i feel like shane. 

Chapter 25) the family dinner-family outing. Niether of them manuped and shane is depressed

Chapter 26)back in america. Still hasn’t told pilot but you know it is a slow burn

Chapter 27) I, wait? Marry, some guy? Like no. I know it’s been what six years but no. I refuse.i don’t like this so called Melvin. It’s okay she doesn’t want to marry him. She goes to see pilot and finally mans up and tells him and asks if she made it and and pilot finally man’s up and tells her no she didn’t. They get stuck in an elevator

Chapter 28) the elevators doing something. Shane wants to re do London cuz she hates life

Chapter 1?) they are both back in London? Both having the same what ever is happening? 

  Chapter 2) omg. Plane lady took them back to staRt over and pilots mad about it (obv)

Chapter 3)so… they got mad but started over and I’m excited. 100%they won’t press the restart button. I’m calling it now. Cuz pilot knows he now has a chance to do the what if’s/

Chapter 4) they keep there distance but we all know it won’t last

Chapter 5) tipsy Shane? Shawarma

Chapter 6) babe thinksthere is something going on with them( again)

Chapter7)the story about fake pilot, and the kiss. Ahhhhhhg

Chapter 8)they found the button. Shane doesn’t want to go back. I do t want them to go back. They don’t go back thank god

Chapter 9) da Vinci code flirting somehow.. Shane tells him it won’t happen u less he breaks up with last Amy.

 Chapter 10) he will break up with Amy and laris is gonna happen. 

Chapter 11) so Shane is happy again, pilot broke up with amy. Shane tried to make peace with the devil chair.

Chapter 11) they are so adorable. Aswwwwewhwhehruysnwjw

 Chapter 12) Uwuwnfhueia we get more Shane and pilot flirting, 

Chapter 13) the opposite game is adorable. I like that they get to be themselves together without the awkwardness. The start of the move game. Thats my fav. 

Chapter 14) they still have the angry birds obssesion but unlike me and supercard they know when to stop.the dance ‘move’ ahh i love. The line ‘but you do.’ just shows how much they know each other and how pilot would do anything to make her smile. And the lost move (not really a move but totally a move.) once again proves their love. Also we had that plot moment where he talks about why h chose to go to london. I adore shanes rant (?) about the things she loves. And then pilot doing the same thing. Shane vs chair is my life, like i battle chairs too. 

Chapter 15) what is tfios? Ooohhh. Fault in our stars. (i googled it)i probably shouldve known by the whole always part. The dance move came back to bite pilot in the ass and now they are dancing together. Ew chad. Yes shane! That is what chad deserves. 

Chapter 16) they get intimate and gigly and happy and aaaawwwhww

Chapter 17) im glad shane still rememebers to be friends with babe and not forget her in her lovestick state currently.

Chapter 18) her postcard….the questions that haunt her so much. Sort of accepting them herself too. She finally got to do wrecking ball, they miss internship , oh no…. Start if a downall?? 

Chapter 19) shane and pilot have fallen HARD

Chapter 20) the article is off the table. Amy is there. What the hell. No. omg pilot no, you moron. THEY BROKE UP!!! Which is fair, a break is needed. They both get back on track and then try and find a balance. Hopefully. Oh her laptop….shit...the feels when all your work is just gone. Tries to reset bc she is so depressed bc she thinks she failed again. 

Chapter 21) she cant go back (thankfully) a bookstore is always a good haven to go to when your breaking down.

Chapter 22)the redemtion (?) time to try and fix everything and get back on track.the determination and the readiness to try and make everything better for herswelf, herself, and no one else is good. She makes friends with the people in her office and works harder than befire, try to get herself out of her comfort zone and experience things

Chapter 23) the confrontation with her parents. Oh god. I hope this goes well. Its going as well as it can go. Im happy shane is sticking up for her dream so she can be happy, uugh the whole dad speech of ‘i do everything for you, i know best because im older,’ i hate it. Ooohh she is making up with leo, talking ot him this time. Im happy. Leo is gay. Cool. i hate how he got broken up with becuase of his stupid family, it sucks. ‘There is no normal.’ perfect words. 

Chapter 24) her thing is in the thing!!!( also good job me with words.) her article got published (there we go)this is where she learns she can be with pilot and be successful because tracy is with a famous author and they make it work with harder schedules. Trys to talk to her parents. This time she will make there relationship work.

Chapter 25)urgh ‘you live under my roof,on my dime…’ blah blah blah. We hate controlling parents that dont see that overprotecting and controlling their childs life does more damage than good. Babe suggest self discovery trip. Babe is a grat friends. 

Chapter 26)the button thing will work…’im mad at pilot. Or am i mad at me.’ she cracked the code. She loathed herself because of her fear of failing, but because this time she worked on herself to make herself happy she no longer hates herself. Yet she still feels the same (ish) feeling that even though she worked harder and got further that she has no summer job when she gets back to the states, her parents still wont allow her choice of work.PILOTS BACK!!!!!!! She was about to press the button and he swooped in with his music.

Chapter 27) he still follows her blog and got help from babe. His speech, finished with lamppost. Where can i get a pilot?he uploaded their song. Working through the divorce thing again but it will be better because he has shane to talk to about it. Ahhh she got a job!!! Happy ending!!! My heart!!!eeeee…

epilogoue) she becomes a successful author. Her parents have accepted her and support her. Pilots a musician. He takes her to the weird plane lady and they gobe the locket back, then he makes the ultimate move. With pictures of where they fell in love he uses the beatles russain doll things to hide a ring and when she finds it she obviously says yes. And that its unfair cuz she cant top that move. 

sooo...thats it.

i really enjoyed this book. i cannot wait for her next book. this post is longwinded i apologize but oh well? again i will link my website and review as soon as its done. so far in about five hours all i have is a paragraph so it may not be as soon as i want it to be

[quakerjoe]

Holding U.S. flags and marching in orderly formation as they shouted "Reclaim America!" the 100 or so white nationalists who demonstrated in D.C. last Saturday wore matching hats, pants, jackets — and white face masks.

And it was that last sartorial choice that attracted attention on social media, where some people asked why the group — Patriot Front, an organization promoting "American Fascism" and deemed a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center — was able to get away with what seemed like a violation of D.C. law.

It's currently illegal in the city to wear a mask under a number of circumstances, notably to avoid identification while engaging in illegal activities. But the law, which dates back to 1982, also says mask-wearing is prohibited if the wearer intends to intimidate or threaten another person, or if they try to deprive someone of other rights guaranteed by law. Virginia has a similar law on the books, which was tested last month, when a single person was arrested during a large pro-gun demonstration in Richmond.

Still, there were no arrests at Saturday's white nationalist demonstration, which was escorted by a contingent of D.C. police officers. And that could largely be because many anti-mask laws rest on shaky legal foundations, often testing the careful balancing act between public safety and the First Amendment. Is a mask a means to threaten someone, or simply a tool to protect someone's identity when they have an unpopular opinion?

It isn't an easy question to answer, says Doron Ezickson, vice president for the Mid-Atlantic and Midwest with the Anti-Defamation League.

"The D.C. law hinges on intent, whether the person wearing the hood or mask is intended to cause another person to fear for his or her personal safety. That element of intent is very important from a constitutional standpoint," he says.

When the D.C. Council passed the law almost four decades ago, it did so specifically because of a reported uptick in Ku Klux Klan activity in the Maryland and Virginia suburbs around D.C., and a rise in incidents in the city itself. (The law also criminalized defacing public and private property with racist messages or images.)

"In April of 1982 both the Ohev Shalom Synagogue and the 19th Street Baptist Church were defaced with anti-Semitic graffiti, and during the same month a swastika was painted on Kesher Israel Synagogue," explained a Council report on the bill. "More recently many of the public refuse receptacles in the District of Columbia have been seen with the word 'nigger' painted on them."

Virginia's anti-mask law has similar foundations.

But D.C. Council member Mary Cheh (D-Ward 3), who also is a constitutional law professor, says that what the KKK was known for doing differs from the activities of groups like Patriot Front today. While they may spring from the same general ideology, the means of expressing it have so far been different.

"[The KKK] would go to African American homes and businesses and intimidate them. It was a threat of force put out there," she says.

While the legal landscape on anti-mask laws is mixed — some courts have ruled they can be used to stop racists protests, others have said the opposite — there is one Supreme Court ruling that Cheh says roughly lays out the guidelines for when laws can determine someone is being intimidated or threatened.

In the 2003 Virginia v. Black ruling, the court tossed out convictions against three defendants for violating the Virginia law criminalizing cross-burning. Writing for the majority, Justice Sandra Day O'Connor said that while some cross-burnings can be used to personally intimidate or threaten individuals, they can also more generically be used as "a statement of ideology" or "group solidarity." In those cases, cross-burning remains constitutionally protected.

That could broadly apply to mask-wearing, says Art Spitzer, the legal director for the ACLU of D.C. The Patriot Front march may have been offensive, but it wasn't intimidating or threatening in a specific way. "You can't threaten someone by expressing a view in a peaceful way," he says.

Had the group marched to a particular person's house or business the way the KKK used to, that could have run afoul of D.C.'s anti-mask law. But even in those circumstances, it matters less what is being said, and more how it's being said.

"If they just stood there or hold a sign saying 'White people are equal,' that would not be intimidating. If they were chanting some threatening phrase or holding signs with a threatening or intimidating phrase, then that could well cross the line," says Spitzer.

That distinction — protesting in a public place versus protesting at a specific person's home — did serve as the foundation for a law authored by Cheh and passed by the Council in 2010. It largely prohibits masked protests outside personal residences between the hours of 10 p.m. and 7 a.m., with only narrow exceptions if police are given advance notice. The law was inspired by complaints about animal rights activists, some masked, others not, loudly protesting in residential areas.

"The Supreme Court has said that jurisdictions can ban targeted picketing like that," says Cheh. "This was just an additional lever with respect to those particular demonstrations."

Cheh says that, to her knowledge, that new law hasn't yet been tested or challenged. As for the original anti-mask law, D.C. court records show that there have been fewer than three-dozen charges brought for mask-wearing over the last decade. And in many cases, the charge accompanied another criminal offense.

In Virginia, the longstanding anti-mask was amended in 2014 to reference intent, specifically. The changes were prompted by a case which critics said proves how anti-mask laws can go too far: a cyclist was stopped by police on a winter day for riding with a mask, which was technically against the law. The inclusion of intent in the anti-mask law also likely explains why police did not arrest any of the gun-toting and mask-wearing protesters in Richmond last month. (The sole arrest was not apparently linked to the pro-gun groups; the 21-year-old woman arrested faces a court date on Wednesday.)

Cheh says that from what she saw, the masked Patriot Front march didn't rise to that level of personal threats or intimidation, even if the group's members say they do want to "reclaim our nation's capital from Jews, Marxists, and anti-white enemies in government who want to see white Americans erased," as one leader told WUSA 9 reporter Mike Valerio in a written statement. "We seek to build a fascist homeland in the ashes of a failing democracy."

"I had understood that those white nationalists were marching, and even though they were saying awful things, the police were accompanying them. If they were wearing the masks to intimidate people, then the mask laws could apply," she says. "I think the police behaved with appropriate restraint."

Ezickson of the ADL says that balancing free speech rights and hateful speech can be difficult, especially for groups that are the targets of the speech. But he does draw a distinction — for now — between what Patriot Front members were doing in D.C. and what could at some point be illegal.

"It's an ideology of hate and unfortunately some of its members commit violence of ever more substantial impact. The speech is connected to conduct, but we have to understand that constitutionally speech is protected while the conduct is not," he says.

And Spitzer notes that lightly enforcing D.C.'s anti-mask law benefits groups from both sides of the political spectrum. During President Trump's inauguration, he says, many anarchist protesters wore masks. While there were arrests, those were largely for allegations of other offenses, like destroying property. (The prosecutions ultimately fell apart.)

"It's a messy world out there, and sometimes we have to suffer the outrages of people expressing views we detest," says Cheh.

[ohpenelopes]

                    i mean i could be aesthetic but instead i'm just pathetic

ALISHA BOE? No, that’s actually PENELOPE “PENNY” BROWN-PATIL from the NEXT GENERATION ERA. You know, the child of LAVENDER BROWN and PARVATI PATIL? Only 21 years old, this HUFFLEPUFF alumni works as a BARISTA and is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE identifies as a CIS WOMAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be SELF-PITYING, A PERFECTIONIST, and INSECURE but also FLEXIBLE, GENTLE and IMAGINATIVE. 

LINKS – pinboard, stats. CHARACTER PARALLELS – jackie burkhart ( that 70s show ), chloe gemell ( my mad fat diary ), mini mcguinness ( skins uk ), engel beekman ( skam nl ), cassie howard ( euphoria ), emaline ( everything sucks! ), gretchen wieners ( mean girls ), caroline forbes ( the vampire diaries -- earlier seasons ), kelly kapoor ( the office ) AESTHETIC – star shaped hoop earrings, drawing hearts all over your notes, needle pricked finger tips, unapologetic femininity, a loud and cheerful laugh echoing through a hallway, pinky promises, heart shaped sunglasses hiding hungover stained eyes, movie nights with popcorn and rose wine, drowning in the sea of your own thoughts HEADS UP – this intro has mentions of anxiety, but i’ve marked all of these with a trigger warning! <3

backstory ( 2008 - 2026 )

penny is born penelope lyra brown-patil --- penelope, for the woman who not only waited faithfully for her husband’s return for years, but who tricked many man in the process; lyra, for the constellation (because the stars are so wise) --- and as the second (and eventual middle) child to lavender and parvati

and she grows up happy. her childhood is peaceful and wonderful, filled with fun days and laughter. there’s not much out of the ordinary --- it’s stable and beautiful, and penny longs for those days quite a lot.

at some point, she learns of the things her parents went through at school, about war and rebellion and fear. penny admires her mothers more than anything --- she’s scared of this world, of this past, but she’s filled with admiration and a bit of fear that she won’t be able to live up to that. (she doesn’t have to, of course --- there’s no pressure or reason to, but still; she wonders about it, and she can’t shake the thought.)

anxiety tw | though life was stable and good, penny has always felt very uncertain about ... everything. insecurity has never been a stranger to her, nor has anxiety or pressure. she has high expectations of herself, expecting nothing short of the best --- and when she failed as a child (whether it was in playing quidditch on toy brooms or when drawing or when trying to sing perfectly), she would throw tantrums. she got help for this as a child after she had her first full-blown anxiety attack, but it never really faded. | end of tw

her interests as a child mostly range from princess stories to drawing elaborate things to cutting out pretty outfits from fashion magazines. she’s gentle and quiet and excitable when she wants to be, a whirlwind of pink and smiles and tangled long hair

at hogwarts, penny is sorted in hufflepuff (though the hat did consider ravenclaw) for her spirit. she doesn’t mind not being a gryffindor like her parents once were (or, at least, she doesn’t later on; at first it just seems like an affirmation that she’s not as brave as they are), likes how yellow compliments her eyes and fits in quite nicely among the puffs.

anxiety tw | teenagedom is a tough time for her. it seems like everyone is able to juggle it all, and then there’s penny: unable to keep up good grades and look pretty and have an exciting social life and have enough sleep. she feels like she’s drowning in all the expectations she has for herself, feels like she’s the only one on this world who is suffering (she’s prone to a woe is me mentality, for sure) and so hides it all behind perfectly curated smiles. her insecurity has always been strong, but it grows. she drowns them out by pretending. end of tw

in those years, she should be learning who she is, but in stead, penny learns how to be what others want. she shifts and shapes and bends herself to match others expectations --- she’s loud and funny and excitable among her peers, grinning widely and flipping her hair, appearing confident and extroverted and completely at ease. sometimes she’s quieter, a more gentle and softer being, lovely and quaint. she’s a model student (minus the amazing grades) to her teachers, a kind older housemate to the first years, a tough bitch when situations call for it. and sometimes it feels genuine, this person she’s showing off, and sometimes it all feels like a play. it depends, on her mood, on the role, on the weather, on the stars.

and you know what? it works. for most of the time. and then sometimes, it doesn’t, and there’s nothing to do but cry endless tears in her bed and be the most melodramatic person in the castle. alcohol tw | this happens when she’s drunk most of the time, to be honest --- penny is such a messy drunk. end of tw 

penny also developed a taste for fuckboys during this time. she wanted to feel loved, she wanted to be touched, to be desired, and part of her was desperate --- but that didn’t make it okay for guys to treat her that way, period. i would get into this more but i don’t feel comfy about doing that akdjssdf. 

when she turned fourteen, she got a sewing machine for her birthday. the next schoolyear, she dragged the thing behind her into the castle, unable to part from it after a summer of sewing. penny had always been interested in fashion, but now she was able to take it to the next level.

the dream to become a fashion designer grows and grows and grows, and penny is quite handy with the sewing machine, and her designs aren’t half bad, but of course it’s a stupid dream --- because penny doesn’t believe in herself, not yet at least.

post-graduation life ( 2026 - now )

penny graduated with one ambition only (see above) and no faith in herself. she became a barista, telling herself that she would work on her self esteem, that she would build herself up and become stronger and ready, that she would work on her portfolio and her design skills and that she would practice and work hard and ... that’s where she’s been for the past few years.

not much has changed, to be honest. penny still feels like that lost teenager, and in a certain sense she is --- she has just gained a slight bit of maturity, has moved out and has started working. her sense of self is still incredibly fragile, as is her self esteem, and while she’s trying to improve it, she just hasn’t found the right way to. 

she feels so stuck. she feels so frozen. she feels like she has no clue who the hell she is, and she doesn’t know what to do about changing that. another part of her doesn’t even want to be thinking about these things, and just wants to have some fun --- once penny graduated, she definitely started partying more sfksjdfhsdkjfh. party girls dont get hurt!!!!! and like, on one hand, that’s all completely fine, because this is the time for fun and self discovery, and who says you can’t do both? 

the timeclash kind of turned everything upside down. it did for everyone, i imagine, but that’s not really how penny sees it (woe is me! why does everything bad always happen to me!!). she’s so scared sakjdf. scared to see her parents and to be a Big Disappointment because she’s scared of the fact that there’s suddenly a war (like, what the fuck?), because she doesn’t want to fight, because she doesn’t even know how to fight!!! 

she’s a coward lmao, but a coward with Standards (lookin at you peter)

i mean, if it came down to it --- if she had to protect her friends or family --- she would fight, of course. she’s just not very good at combatical magic, or at strategy, or at anything war or rebellion-related, really (except for smuggling booze into hogwarts, i guess, but that’s something of the past). and that’s fine, if you ask me, but penny doesn’t think it is --- but that doesn’t mean she’s going to push herself to be braver or to do more

personality & details

jfc i rambled so much up there, time to get a bit more coherent up in this BITCH

penny is such a mess. i have a hard time talking about her sometimes because she’s so messy and because her mood and her energy fluctuate so much --- she can be high energy and extroverted one moment, and completely down and sad the other. 

did i ... project myself .... onto penny?     maybe. partly.

she’s a bit of a chameleon, really. she’s very adaptable and flexible and willing to change for the comfort of others, and she thus feels like she has a small sense of self. this is true, to a certain extent. i think she’s too focused on finding herself that she doesn’t see that she’s already found herself a little, that there are parts of her that are genuine. she’s so hard on herself, expects so much, she’s just ... completely blinded by her own doubts, tbh.

and she’s def a sad bitch and a messy bitch, but she’s so much fun. god. penny just loves laughing and being happy and doing fun and cute stuff! she likes good things! so much! she tries to be such an upbeat person and she can be and agh. i love her like that.

such a romantic. pls stop her. her idea of love makes her so blind and deaf and she always falls for dumb boys :( but skfjshdf she just loves romance! and romantic comedies! and romance novels (tho she struggles to focus on books properly, ngl) and just ... pink hearts and all that fuzzy stuff

when she got her job as a barista, all she thought was that it might just bring her the perfect coffee shop romance

she’s an idiot

she usually just goes by penny, but not because she dislikes the name penelope --- she thinks it’s a really neat name, to be honest (a bit poetic and mysterious), but penny has just been her nickname for so long that she doesn’t want to make people call her penelope. BUT she does want to be referred to as penelope when she gets famous, thank you very much.

regarding that: penny wants to be famous dskfjhdsf. a famous designer, of course --- but she just likes the idea of fame altogether as well!!! 

she takes that dream and ambition seriously, in a way. she plans to take serious steps soon (but she’s been saying that for years), always waiting until she feels ready to put herself out there. the idea of being rejected is just ... massive. the idea of not succeeding, of flopping, is so terrifying, that she prefers sticking with her dead-end job, for now. she has been sewing a lot after graduation, and i imagine she constructs a fair amount of her outfits herself (and does the same for friends), but that’s it, and she’s such a Coward about it

when she buys fashion magazines, she always gets two copies so she can use one for cutouts so she can make collages and moodboards

aEsThEtIc QuEeN!!!!

no really though, she has such a good sense for aesthetics. knows what colours and fabrics and prints mesh well together, always looks on Point, etcetera. 

idk what to say this intro is such a gd mess bc i wrote everything from scratch and i kept changing my mind about things and while penny is a Very old muse, i changed a LOT oops!!! 

[dailybestiary]

Patch Has Issues: Dungeon #1

Issue: Dungeon #1

Date: September/October 1986. (I was just entering 3rd grade—a dismal year for me—and hadn’t yet discovered D&D at this point. I had just watched Optimus Prime pass away on the operating table during The Transformers: The Movie, though.)

The Cover:

(Use of cover for review purposes only and should not be taken as a challenge to status. Credit and copyright remain with their respective holders.)

One of the notable things about Dungeon was that the covers were actually commissioned for the magazine, instead of just vaguely connected to the issue’s theme like Dragon’s were. The late Keith Parkinson’s “Into the Flame” shows off the star of the issue, the red dragon Flame. Its very humanoid posture recalls Parkinson’s time doing draconians for the Dragonlance line. I’m guessing he was very proud of being picked to launch the magazine—this image is the first that comes up on his website to this day. (If you’re curious, Parkinson’s work in general is great if you like knights in bad weather and big humanoids, but he definitely leans hard into the all-women-in-fantasy-are-bikini-wearing-sorceresses trope, a habit that—like many ex-TSR artists—only got more pronounced as his career progressed. It’s no wonder he moved into video games.)

The Adventures:

“The Dark Tower of Cabilar” by Michael Ashton & Lee Sperry, AD&D, Levels 4–7

Our very first Dungeon Adventure is...*drum roll*...a converted tournament module that is pretty rudimentary: Defeat the vampire in his stalagmite tower-and-dungeon combo (I’m already thinking a stalactite would have had more cinematic appeal), and retrieve the crown that can prove your employer’s godson’s noble lineage.

Right off the bat, this adventure features encounters with fire drakes and lava children! Yep, you read that right—lava children. (Pathfinder fans will remember them from Misfit Monsters Redeemed.) Clearly Dungeon is not afraid of Fiend Folio weirdness.

Beyond that, the module screams “I was written for a tournament” with the number of traps and cursed items and red herrings involved, and not in a good way. Once we get to to the dungeon levels, as a reader I’m just listlessly going room by room till we get to the Big Bad. Overall, a disappointing start.

“Assault on Eddistone Point” by Patricia Nead Elrod, AD&D, Levels 1–3

Our first adventure by a woman author is only our second adventure out of the gate! This bodes well for the rest of the series—wait. Hold on. Is that Patricia Nead as in P. N. Elrod? I’ve never read her work, but she’s helmed some anthologies that Jim Butcher’s short stories have appeared in. I’m guessing this is an early cut from her? And frankly the hand of an experienced author is all over these pages—a vast step up from the previous article (whose authors, to be fair, seem like they were still in college, according to their bios).

So first off, this is a tidy little adventure: Check out why the team sent to repair a signal tower hasn’t reported back. (Even Bryce likes it! We’ll talk about Bryce below.) The NPCs aren’t locked to one location (except the hostages), so once PCs get to the tower, it’s up to the GM to position them and assign reactions. But the cast is small enough this doesn’t seem daunting, even for new GMs, and you could run this thing in a single night.

But where it really shines, as I said, is the deft authorship. Elrod very quickly delivers a tight sketch of the location: two city-states vying for market advantage, dwarves under the mountain range in between minting the gold that moves said markets, some signal towers that exist as a compromise to keep the peace, and what the heck, also some elves in the valley between.

Now, this is basic stuff. And not even pumpkin-spice-latte basic...this is “I’ve only read The Hobbit” basic. Dwarves minting gold and elves in the woods and most of the villains are half-orcs? Even for 1986, this ought to be chucked in the bin as trite.

And yet...it’s not, because of Elrod’s deft pen. I suddenly want to find out more about these cities in the course of play—maybe one could be a good home base for the party? The interplay of politics and markets and signal fires and dwarf relations is just specific enough to feel real, while being sketchy enough it could be dropped into most game worlds. The clever chief antagonist is distinctive enough I don’t mind her stereotypical brute sidekicks, and trying to uncover her employer could lead to the next session’s adventure. It’s basic sure, but it’s Basic Rules-red-box basic. In other words, it feels classic. I wouldn’t put this in front of my grad school gaming group, necessarily, but if I got asked to run an afterschool session for some middle-schoolers wanting to learn the game? Hell yes!

At this point, I’ve probably oversold this adventure, so forgive me if you are underwhelmed by it. But I’m willing to risk a little overhyping to celebrate what can be constructed with such simple meat-and-potatoes ingredients.

And that’s not even counting the not-meat-and-potatoes elements, like the white raven who is already one of my favorite familiars ever, and the ticking clocking scenario the weather sets up (you need to beat the mercenaries before they can mess with the signals), and the names of the other watchtower peaks, each one slyly suggesting another adventure, and…yeah, I dig this.

“Grakhirt’s Lair” by John Nephew, AD&D, Levels 1–3

John Nephew wrote one of my favorite D&D supplements of all time, Tall Tales of the Wee Folk, which I won’t shut up about—I’ve even told him so on Twitter—so I don’t feel bad in saying that this entry is a total dud for me. Pretty much the only interesting thing about this adventure is that the humanoid antagonists are the Fiend Folio’s norkers, and they get the classic 1e AD&D humanoid treatment: that is, absolutely nothing sets them apart from any other humanoid out there aside from their stat blocks. You can skip this one without guilt.

(Admittedly, Nephew was also shockingly young when he did both this and TTotWF. Looking back, I really wish I’d made some different decisions re: my writing growing up—I was disengaging with the hobby just at the age when other people were hammering down the door to get published. Sigh. But hey, none of them held a Run-DMC concert or hung out with Rahzel at age 21, right? We all have our journeys.)

“The Elven Home,” by Anne Gray McReady, D&D, Levels 1–3

Our first D&D adventure! D&D, specifically BECMI D&D, was the neglected stepchild of the late ’80s and early ’90s, despite the earnest efforts of line champion Bruce Heard, Dungeon editors Roger Moore and Barbara Young, and a lot of talented freelancers. But I was a fierce D&D partisan, because it was what I was first introduced to and what I could afford, and because I loved the variety of classes and cultures the Known World allowed. For a line that often felt overlooked in terms of marketing and support, the love and talent put into the books that did exist were evident on almost every page.

So I wish I could find more to recommend “The Elven Home,” but it’s not even really an adventure or even a side trek—instead it’s a thoroughly fleshed-out NPC encounter that should lead to combat only if the PCs are particularly boorish. Like Bryce (again, see below) I could have used more whimsy and more weirdness to make these elves stand out just a bit more, though their twee personalities (more faerie than Tolkien) at least set them apart from most elves PCs run across these days. So your mileage may vary—some of you may be utterly charmed by this (I lean at least somewhat charmed), others of you very much not.

“Into the Fire,” by Grant & David Boucher, AD&D, Levels 6–10

I was expecting a lot out of this adventure—the cover dragon, Flame, was the closest thing Dungeon had to a mascot till the Adventure Path years under Paizo, and he wound up appearing in at least one or two more sequel adventures, if I recall correctly.

While I wasn’t blown away, I can see where the fondness comes from. The adventure isn’t particularly special at first. A necklace shows up that may hint at the fate of a lost prince, but following that lead means following the trail of a recently deceased knight, and—spoilers!—that trail leads back to a dragon. But then the combat with Flame is presented, and the brothers Boucher serve up a number of round-by-round tactics and dirty tricks for Flame to employ that wouldn’t feel out of place in 3.5...and I’m guessing were thrilling in 1986.

Remember, this is before dragons had varying power levels according to age—and were often asleep in their lairs to boot—so if DMs weren’t careful high-level characters would carve through them like butter. (Seriously, it was such an issue that every June Dragon Magazine would churn out articles about how to keep your dragons alive longer. They did this for decades.) It’s easy to ding the Bouchers—Bryce (see below) certainly does—for coming up with too many reasons why Flame is immune to PC powers and abilities throughout the adventure. But to me it just feels like an experienced red wyrm doing what an experienced red wyrm who wants to live would do. Flame is smart, more interested in survival than winning, and while he plans to ruin the PCs’ lives as thoroughly as possible, he’ll run if he has to. PCs who survive will be stoked to tell the tale, and that feeling will only be magnified by a massive treasure haul with a number of flavorful items and future adventure seeds of its own.

Other things to note: There’s a slanty tower that’s okay (I’m a sucker for slanty towers), but where it’s placed in the adventure, it will likely be an anticlimax. There are also some big wandering monster encounters—a score of ogres with an ogre magi, two dozen ghouls and ghasts, etc.—that I’d be interested to see how they rebalanced for Pathfinder/5e D&D. I think shows like Game of Thrones have put the fear back into random encounters with large groups of humanoids, so it would be fun to play that out even if the math says the PCs shouldn’t break a sweat.

Is this my favorite adventure? Not by a long shot. But I can see why readers were fond of it and why Flame’s legend persisted.

“Guardians of the Tomb,” by Carl Smith, AD&D, Levels 3–5

That...is some very boring architecture for a shrine. Also, why would a master thief even have a shrine? Especially in a swamp? And while I’m vague on the relative power levels of 3rd–5th-level characters in 1e AD&D, I feel like 2(x PCs+ y retainers) shadows+1d12 even more shadows = a whole damn lot of shadows to trap the PCs with behind an 18th-level wall of stone! Apparently Smith even worked for TSR at some point—did no one pull him aside and say, “Dude! Game balance!”?

I have questions.

Not only does this seem a bit extreme, at least for an unlucky 3rd-level party, it feels personal. This feels like Carl Smith had some players he wanted to teach a lesson. The bio says Carl Smith’s first love is Westerns; I’m guessing he likes the ones about the Alamo or Butch Cassidy or Unforgiven where pretty much everyone dies at the end.

Who hurt you, Carl Smith? Who hurt you?

Best Read: “Assault on Eddistone Point.”

Best Adventure I Could Actually Run with Minimal Prep: All but “Into the Fire” could probably be run after only a second read-through. But I actually want to run “Assault on Eddistone Point.”

Best Concept: As dungeon locations go, a leaning tower that’s leaning because a dragon decided the best way to kill the wizard inside was just to land on the dang thing and knock it over is a pretty good concept.

Best Monster: You always remember your first dragon. So of course, we have to give this accolade to the always-two-steps-ahead Flame.

Best NPC: I’m a fan of the crafty Vorona in “Assault on Eddistone Point,” but the tie goes to the titular elves of “The Elven Home,” who literally want to chat so badly that the party might get attacked by stirges for lingering too long. Don’t overlook the wolfwere in “Into the Flame” though— he sounds like a real a$$#ole.

Best Map: “Into the Flame”’s Lake Haven kinda-isometric hex map, though I also do like seeing the dragon’s volcano lair map with a boat right in the middle.

Best Thing Worth Stealing: A dragon’s volcano lair with a boat right in the middle.

Worst Aged: The magazine’s first adventure hadn’t even started yet and the text was reminding us to look up climbing rules and calculate the PCs’ weights. Yikes. I don’t miss 1e AD&D. Also, the term “magic-user.” Oy. So glad that’s gone. Oh, and alignment tongues! Ye gods, remember alignment tongues? No, you don’t, because they made no sense and no one over the age of 11 ever used one in their game.

What Bryce Thinks: “Wow. I had no idea that 1e adventures sucked ass so much.”

One of the only people who has done in-depth online reviews of old Dungeon issues is a dude named Bryce Lynch over at tenfootpole.org—which is hilarious, because Bryce hates old Dungeon adventures. An OSR (old-school renaissance) fan through and through, Bryce is super particular about what he considers an acceptable adventure. To his credit, he wants adventures able to be easily run at the table, but he also loathes boxed read-aloud text, long backstory, and pretty much anything he regards as fluff. Which means Dungeon, even at this primordial stage of the game, drives him around the twist (as our Brit readers might say)—and it’s only going to get worse. Even so, I’m going to check in on his reviews as we go along, because his laser focus on the GM’s experience at the table is a good yin to my all-about-the-fluff/inspiration yang.

But for what it’s worth...we pretty much line up on our faves for this issue. Go us! Ditto Adam Perdona, whose tastes also seem to line up with mine and who also liked “The Elven Home.”

So, Is It Worth It?: Okay so let’s say you play Pathfinder, 5e D&D, or some other contemporary system. Should you run out and try to find a physical copy of Dungeon #1?

Well...aside from the collector’s value (it is a #1 after all)...probably not. There’s nothing here that screams “Pull me off the shelf”—what pleasures are inside will also be in the PDF.

What this issue does offer is a back-to-basics approach to adventure construction and worldbuilding that I think we sometimes need. Sometimes all you need is some dwarves, some elves, and a dragon. Sometimes we need to forget secret societies and trade disputes and just help a king who’s lost his prince. Think of Dungeon #1—specifically “Assault on Eddistone Point” and “Into the Flame”—like one of those articles you sometimes see in GQ or Esquire: “How to Grill a Steak. No, put down the pesto, put down the chutney, put down the coffee dry rub and remoulade. You’re going to grab some salt and pepper and maaaybe some butter and We Are Going to Grill a Goddamn STEAK.”

If you want fusion sushi, look elsewhere. Are you in the mood for steak? Look for these two adventures.

Random Thoughts:

Editor Roger Moore’s voice in the intro is so stiff—he would be way more assured and relaxed in the ’90s.

It’s a huge nostalgia trip seeing maps in “1 square = 10’” after years of 5’ squares in 3.0/3.5/Pathfinder.

Speaking of maps, they’re still pretty rudimentary here—it is 1986, after all. But I’m pleased that we are immediately getting side or isometric views of some of these locations (especially the towers) to give us a better sense of what these structures look like. I’m a big fan of that.

One of the weird things about published D&D, AD&D, and Pathfinder settings is that, for an ostensibly Middle Ages-inspired hobby, most show surprisingly little interest in the standard medieval trappings. Kings and princes are rare, city-states are the norm rather than feudal kingdoms, and even knights and castles have largely given way to mercenaries and manor houses. I think there are tons of reasons for this—questing knight tropes feeling stale or immature, the gradual shift of the hobby’s default assumptions to early Renaissance and the Mediterranean rather than medieval England, more opportunities for political conflict but with more manageable stakes... (And let’s face it: high-level PCs just love regicide. Oligarchs don’t have targets on their backs the way kings do.) Anyway, I bring all this up because early Dungeon is clearly not afraid of kings, queens, princes, or knights. If your tastes are more King Arthur & Prince Hal than Diplomats & Doges, you might want to check these early issues out.

Comfy rooms that make you sleepy are an overdone trope in this era.

Leaning/slanty towers also get a lot of love in Dungeon—perhaps too much—but I will never not love them.

If a description, even if just meant for the GM, is going to use a simile that takes me out of the game world such as “like Spanish bayonet,” I’d prefer it walled off in parentheses.

A lot of the art inside this issue (especially James Holloway’s) would be reused again and again in the pages of Dragon, including for subscription cards, the No-SASE Ogre, and even “The Voyage of the Princess Ark.”

Notable Ads: An ad for Lankhmar, City of Adventure, for you classic sword & sorcery fans, and the Dungeoneer’s Survival Guide for AD&D.

(Any fans of the DSG out there? I’ve always heard it, like, laid the groundwork for what we think of as the Underdark. But every time I’ve seen a used copy on the shelf I’ve opened to pages and pages of rules about mining and smelting and I’ve closed it in horror.)

This Month in Dragon: Dragon #113 offers a cardboard dragon (assuming you have a physical copy or can get creative with the PDF), a tour of Hades, fiction by Harry Turtledove, and some nasty Gamma World robots. Dragon #114 serves up the witch NPC, the elven cavalier class, and Marvel’s Inhumans.

[loretranscripts]

Lore Episode 20: Homestead (Transcript) - 2nd November 2015

tw: racism, slavery, child death, suicide, disease, ghosts Disclaimer: This transcript is entirely non-profit and fan-made. All credit for this content goes to Aaron Mahnke, creator of Lore podcast. It is by a fan, for fans, and meant to make the content of the podcast more accessible to all. Also, there may be mistakes, despite rigorous re-reading on my part. Feel free to point them out, but please be nice!

[Reminder of upcoming live shows at the time]

“Home sweet home”: for most of us, those words are about as true as it gets. The place we call home can easily become the centre of our universe and is often the source of our feelings of security and peace. Most people who tell you stories about their childhood home do so with wide eyes and a wistful smile. Home is, as they say, where the heart is. Our home is the place where we experience life, we fill each room with our laughter, we chase our passions, we make plans for the future. You might remember holidays in the living room, or breakfast conversations, or exploring the attic on a winter day. These homes, nothing more than buildings that we dwell in, somehow become a part of us, but life isn’t always roses and laughter. Sometimes the things we experience are… difficult, or painful, or both. Sometimes people do things that leave a lasting mark, like an echo that carries on through the years, and upon occasion these dark moments are even experienced within our home. From Macbeth to American Horror Story, from the typewriters of Shirley Jackson and Stephen King, it has been made abundantly clear just how much power the home can have over our lives. Maybe it’s the tragedy or the memories, maybe it’s the dark acts committed in the shadows or the secrets buried beneath the foundations, both metaphorical and literal. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t take a popular novelist or a historian to point out the simple truth: there’s no place like home, and considering what’s been known to happen there, that might be a good thing. I’m Aaron Mahnke, and this is Lore.

When Christopher and Elizabeth Crowley built their home in the new South Wales town of Junee in south-eastern Australia, they envisioned a normal, happy future for themselves. Christopher Crowley had caught wind of the impending construction of the Great Southern Railway Line through Junee, and so he built the Railway Hotel across from the station, and it paid off. In 1884, they finished construction on a new home they called “Monte Cristo”. It wasn’t a mansion by any stretch of the imagination, but it did have nine rooms, a stable for his prized race horse, a dairy barn and a separate ballroom, although that eventually became the servants’ quarters. But life wasn’t idyllic for the Crowley family. While carrying one of the little Crowley girls, their nanny dropped her down the stairs, where she died from the injuries. She claimed that an unseen force had reached out and knocked the child from her arms. Whatever the cause, the Crowleys had to go through the ordeal of burying a child, something no parent should have to endure. In 1910, Mr. Crowley’s starched shirt collars began to rub the skin on his neck. The abscess that formed became gangrenous, and by December of that year he died as a result of a heart attack, brought on (they say) by the wound.  After her husband’s death, Elizabeth, already known to be a harsh, disciplined woman, went into a state of mourning that lasted the rest of her life. She converted one of the upstairs rooms into a chapel and spent much of her time there. According to local lore, she only left the house twice before her death in 1933.

Other tragedies found their way into Monte Cristo. A pregnant maid committed suicide by jumping from the top storey of the house; she bled to death on the front steps. Maurice, the stable boy,/ burnt to death in a fire, and in 1961, the caretaker of the house was shot and killed by a local boy, who had been inspired by the recent Hitchcock film, Psycho. Today, many young children feel anxious near the stairs. A dark stain has been seen on the front steps of the house, but it seems to fade in and out of view over time. The shape of a young woman in a white gown has been witnessed passing in front of the windows of the front balcony, and some believe it’s the spirit of the pregnant maid, repeating her final moments over and over. Others claim to have seen a young boy wandering around near the site of the coach house. A few visitors to the house have witnessed the figure of an older man in the upstairs hallway, and most have assumed it to be Mr. Crowley, but it’s his wife, Elizabeth, who is most commonly seen, almost as if she hasn’t fully let go of her home yet. She has been reported to appear in the dining room, where she’s ordered people to leave the room. Others have seen her ghostly figure in the chapel upstairs, dressed in black as if mourning for a lost loved one.

Across the world, in the state of Kentucky, another home became the scene of tragedy and pain. Their names have slipped from history, but in Allen county, one of the families there in the early 1860s owned a number of slaves. According to local stories, most of the slaves lived in their own quarters on the property, but the husband kept chains in the basement of the family home, for times when he wanted to… discipline one or two of them. When the civil war broke out, word began to spread among the slaves of the south that it would be better to escape and run north, so plans were made in their small dormitory over many weeks. Finally, the night came, and the entire group of slaves left the homestead and headed north. All of them, that is, except for the two still chained up in the basement of the owners’ home. Whether it was the noise of their escape or part of his usual evening rounds, the man soon discovered that his slaves were gone. The stories describe how he spent hours that night on horseback with his gun, riding north and looking for his runaway slaves, but they were never found. Instead, the man returned home empty-handed and full of rage. Fuelled by his anger, he descended into the basement, where he shot and killed both captive men. Later, after he had cooled off, he was said to have buried the bodies there in the dirt floor of the cellar, and then, months later, the man was called into service with the confederate army, where he died in battle. The widow never opened the cellar door again – in fact, even though it was in the middle of the house, she had it boarded up. There’s a lot of symbolism in that single action, if you’re looking for that sort of thing. I think she just wanted to make sure no one ever found the bodies her husband had buried beneath the dirt floor down there. She passed away a few years later due to illness, and the house was sold to distant relatives. When the new family began to move in, they opened the cellar and discovered that it reeked with a powerful odour. They vented the space and cleaned it as best they could, but the smell never went away. It wasn’t long before their children began to tell them about hearing sounds at night, that seemed to come from the cellar. They dismissed it as childhood fantasies, but the stories continued. One night, many months later, the husband and wife were both pulled from sleep by strange sounds. She stayed in bed while he went down to investigate. From their room, she claimed she heard a loud cry, and then a crash. She raced out of bed and ran to the cellar door. When she got there, she found her husband. He was lying dead on the dirt floor at the bottom of the cellar stairs, his neck broken and twisted. There are many stories like these, but they all teach the same, bitter lesson. Sometimes, our homes attract tragedy, and sometimes, we create it ourselves.

When Daniel Benton built his small, red, Cape-style home in Tolland, Connecticut, I doubt he imagined it would still be standing today. It’s not enormous like some of the plantation homes one might find in the south, but for a house built in 1720, it was comfortable, and in complete contrast to our modern, mobile life of the 21st century, it stayed in the Benton family until 1932. That’s over 210 years, for those of you who are counting, and that’s a very long time. The family grew, and by the 1770s, Daniel Benton had three grown grandsons who lived in the house with him. One of them, Elisha, had taken an interest in a young woman in town named Jemima Barrows. She was the daughter of a cabinet maker, and in a social station below that of the Bentons, and so Elisha’s family looked down on the romance. They did everything they could to discourage them, but Elisha and Jemima were stubborn. In 1775, an alarm was raised in Lexington, Massachusetts that was heard across the countryside, thanks to riders like Paul Revere. Colonists from all across New England came to join the fight, and among them were the three Benton grandchildren. While Daniel Benton was sad to see his grandchildren go off to war, there was some relief knowing that the separation just might be the thing that Elisha needed to take his mind off the young woman. It is thought by historians that Daniel hoped the war might bring an end to their relationship forever. He was only partly right. A year later, in 1776, all three of the Benton brothers were captured by British forces and taken to Long Island, where they were imprisoned on ships in the sound. These prison ships were notorious for their unsanitary conditions and the diseases that ran wild through the inmates. It was even thought that the British soldiers working the ships actually handed out food and bedding that was contaminated with smallpox. Soon, Daniel Benton received word that the two oldest of his grandsons had died while aboard the prison ships, but no word came of the whereabouts of Elisha. He sent for news, and waited impatiently, but before he could learn the truth, Daniel Benton passed away.

It was weeks later when the answer finally came: Elisha was free, and being bought home, but he was sick with smallpox. This was bittersweet news for the Benton family. On one hand, Elisha was coming home - that was good for everyone - but on the other, smallpox was deadly. Nearly half of everyone who contracted the disease eventually died, and those were not the kind of odds that gave people hope. Soldiers brought Elisha into the house and he was guided straight to a room near the kitchen known as “the dying and borning room”, where those giving birth or sick with illness could be kept away from the rest of the house and cared for. It was a colonial American version of quarantine and intensive care, but the word spread of Elisha’s return. Not every son and grandson returned from war, something even homes today still deal with, and one of those who caught wind of the young Benton’s arrival was Jemima Barrows. She had waited and stayed true to her beloved, and there was nothing she had hoped for more. Elisha had come home. I imagine she ran rather quickly to the doorstep of the Benton home. I would imagine that she knocked, as well, being from a lower social status, after all, but it must have been hard for her not to kick the door in and race to find her beloved. Jemima knew her place, though, and she waited for someone to come to the door. She was told that Elisha was sick, and that she needed to go back home, but Jemima turned out to be a very stubborn young woman. Even when they told her that he was dying and sick with a highly contagious and deadly disease, she wouldn’t relent, and in the end, she won. Jemima was allowed into the house, where she set herself up as his sole care-taker and nurse. After a time, Jemima’s parents became worried. Their daughter hadn’t come home all day, and so they made their way to the Benton home and asked if they had seen her. When they discovered that she was, in fact, in the room caring for a smallpox patient, it is said that they wept. Jemima’s mother said they would go back home and get clothing for their daughter, and then they quickly left the Benton house. They never came back.

Elisha Benton died on January 21st, 1776, after weeks of battling the smallpox that ravaged his body. Jemima stayed by his side the entire time, caring for him through it all, but her sacrifice did not come without a price. In the final days of Elisha’s life, she too began to show signs of the illness. Within weeks, she was also dead. The couple was buried on the Benton family property alongside the stone walls that line the road to the house, but due to burial customs at the time, they were not allowed to share the same plot. Instead, they were separated by about 40ft, one grave on either side of the road. It sounds like the end of a tragic story, and in some ways, it is. Elisha and Jemima were never able to marry, and their young lives were cut short. But in other ways, they live on. According to some, it’s their separation outside that has led to the reports of the restless spirits within the home. The Benton home was sold in 1932, and then again in 1969 to the Tolland Historical Society. It was converted into a museum shortly after, but the influx of visitors only served to draw out more reports of mysterious occurrences. One member of the staff claimed that her dog would not enter the dining room. When she picked the animal up and moved it to the sitting room, it refused to go anywhere else after that. Others have felt an overwhelming sense of foreboding and unwelcome. One woman, after cheerfully asking to visit the second floor, climbed the narrow staircase only to return moments later, telling the staff: “I never want to go up there again”. Noises have been heard throughout the house that are difficult to explain: knocking, footsteps, and what sounds like the snapping of branches have all been reported by visitors. Some have even heard what sounds like distant voices, and sometimes the movement of furniture. Others have heard what they describe as a weeping woman - someone who is mourning a deep loss. Those familiar with the homestead’s past have assumed the woman is Jemima, crying for her lost love. A few have even seen the figure of a young woman in a white dress in various places in the house, searching for something no one else can see.

At times, the home has been used by overnight guests. One couple actually lived there for a few weeks while their home was being renovated, and on one occasion entertained a guest of their own. They claimed that on the night of their friend’s visit, the conversation in front of the fireplace was interrupted by the sound of footsteps, thumping down the hallway from the eastern door of the home. The sounds moved closer and closer to the living room, and then just stopped. According to the woman, their guest was packed and gone within 15 minutes. Another couple who stayed overnight in the Benton homestead reported a very odd experience that happened during their stay. Their hosts had retired to sleep upstairs and they themselves had settled down in the living room, which was serving double duty as a guest room. The wife claims that she was awoken in the middle of the night. It was nearly completely dark in the room, but she felt as if someone, or something, were in the room with her. And then, as if materialising out of the darkness, a pair of legs appeared near the head of the bed. A man, she assumed, was standing there, close to her. Her first assumption was that her host had come down to play a joke on her, maybe that was the kind of guy he was, but the middle of the night is probably the worst time to play the joker, no matter who you are. Either way, she decided to call his bluff, and waited to see what he would do. Nothing could have prepared her for what happened next, though. A hand came out of the darkness and quickly covered her mouth. She flinched but held her ground. If he was going to try and frighten her, she said, he was in for a surprise. She pretended not to care, but after a few moments it became hard to breathe, and in the end, panic took over. Pushing the hand away, she sat up and whispered harshly at the figure: “What are you up to?” Almost instantly, everything vanished; the legs, the hand, all of it, just… gone. The following morning, she brought up her experience at breakfast and asked the hosting couple what the reason was for their prank. The husband and wife looked at each other with confused expressions on their faces. They each made the same claim: no one had come downstairs during the night.

The places we live can take on a certain life of their own. We fill them with our personality, our celebrations, and sometimes even our tragedy, and although we can move on, whether by packing up and moving out, or literally by leaving this life behind, we often leave pieces of ourselves behind. Like a cardboard box forgotten in the back corner of the attic, some of our echoes stay behind where others can discover them. Some call them ghosts, others think of them as “bad vibrations” – I don’t think any of us would be wrong no matter what language we use. In the end, something stays behind, and it’s not always easy to see. Sometimes, though, it is. A few years ago, an architectural photographer visited the Benton homestead with his sister in order to get some pictures for a project they were collaborating on. They wondered the property outside, looking for the best view of the house. It’s gorgeous, really, if you have a thing for antique, First Period homes, and the deep red paint on the wood clapboard is very classy and elegant. The project involved using polaroid cameras, the kind that immediately kicks out a small, white-framed photograph that slowly fades into clarity. When they found the perfect place to shoot the house, very near to the graves of Elisha and Jemima incidentally, the photographer took a picture. Something was wrong with the photo, so he took another. That one, too, seemed wrong. He showed his sister, and they tried a third, then a fourth, and then a fifth and a sixth. Finally, they switched to a backup camera, one that had just come back from a camera shop where it had been repaired, but the photographs that came out of the new camera were the same. It wasn’t the camera, they realised, it was the house. All of the defective photos had the same flaw, as clear and easy to spot as the house itself. There, in each image, the second storey window was glowing, as if something bright and hazy were just behind the glass.

[Closing statements]

[junec-c-blog]

♡ HARK —— ! yet another has risen in Purgatory ! the curve of [ her ] face likens them to SOPHIE SKELTON, but don’t be fooled — there is only one JUNE CARTER. upon arrival, they settled in as a freelance musician, and have since aligned to the VIRTUES. it’s written that they’re personable & energetic & independent, but whispered that they’re headstrong & blunt & bossy, so tread lightly. may their heart remain whole. [ jo, she/her, 22, est ]

Hello, friends! My name is Jo and I’m super excited to be here and equally excited to get into June’s character, so I’ve got quite a few pertinent points listed below. As her past is well-known already, I’m mostly going to be doing an abridged version for now, but I might do a more detailed biography on her past later because I just love her that much!

June was born the middle daughter of Maybelle and Ezra Carter in 1929. The family became known for their musical talent, and as a result, she spent most of her adolescence performing Appalachian-style country in multiple groups comprised solely of her sisters and parents.

While she was a decent singer, she was much more well-known for her skills in playing music - namely the guitar and autoharp - and her propensity for comedy. With a sharp wit and smart mouth, the youngest Carter was most definitely the liveliest out of the bunch and became well-known as the heart and soul of the Carter Sisters.

She made it to the Grand Ole Opry by the time she was 21, and this was the environment that she rubbed elbows with the likes of Hank Williams, Elvis Presley, and the one and only Johnny Cash. These friendships proved useful for her, and she toured several times with these artists and more through connections made at the Opry and beyond.

June married once at 21, and while she did get a daughter and multiple popular country songs out of her union with acclaimed singer Carl Smith, the marriage crashed and burned. Considering a good portion of those who listened to her music were devout Christians, the divorce sullied her reputation and left some to label her as a ‘sinner’ for allowing such a thing to happen. She married again, this time to a police officer by the name of Edwin Nix, but she faced the same fate yet again. Understandably, this left her somewhat more cynical and hesitant to put her heart on the ringer again when it came to romantic love.

Try as she did to deny it and keep him at an arm’s length, June developed quite an affection for Johnny through their work together that eventually turned to love. Thanks in part to her failed marriages, his issues with addiction, and her generally stubborn nature, it took years for the two of them to get together and even more past that for her to accept a marriage proposal from him. Their love, as she characterized in Ring of Fire, was just as exciting as it was painful for her, and despite their occasionally tumultuous relationship with each other, he was (and still is) her best friend and the only one who truly held her heart.

Once she finally agreed to marry Johnny in Ontario at nearly 40, she never looked back. The two married, had a child, and continued to make music together until she died in 2003 from complications following surgery.

Now that she’s in Purgatory, things have been simultaneously far easier and much harder for June. Here’s what I’ve got for her as far as that is concerned:

Overall, what you see with June is what you get. While she may be far wiser than she was as a young woman trying to make her name as a star, her love of life, goofy nature, and general humility hasn’t wavered.  Granted, she’s just as fiercely independent as ever, determined to do things on her own as she wants to and often unwilling to sway when she’s set her mind on something. She takes no shit, and while she’s by no means crass or rude, she’s also not one to allow people to walk all over her.

June closed her eyes being pushed back to an operating room and opened them young, rejuvenated, and dead. The fact that she’d passed without getting to say goodbye to her beloved husband was devastating and the four months between her death and his own were excruciatingly lonely. As guilty as she feels to admit it, she was almost glad to know that he’d died if only because it meant that she got to have him with her again.

Johnny’s obviously still the love of her life. She simply doesn’t have eyes for anyone else - due in part to years of  and adores him just as much now as she did in her youth

That doesn’t mean, however, that they don’t have their issues. She gets as frustrated and angry with him as ever, thanks in large part to her take-no-shit attitude and constant worry over the fact that he may be slipping back into bad habits. She bickers often when she feels slighted and shuts him out when she’s at her worse, a classic defense mechanism considering the years of hurt she carries on her shoulders to prevent showing vulnerability.  

Considering her propensity for humanitarian pursuits and generally good nature in life, it’s obvious why she’s aligned with the Virtues. All she wants out of this second chance is the opportunity to live a peaceful, idyllic life and make up for lost time, but that doesn’t seem as easy as she originally thought it’d be.

She tried to find a ‘regular’ job. Really, she did. But music had been her entire life from the tender age of ten to her deathbed, and there’s nothing that really sets her soul aflame like carrying a tune and strumming at that autoharp did. She carries odd jobs, performing at little holes in the wall and offering the occasional lesson or two when the moment strikes, and that’s perfectly okay with her.

Her greatest fear is losing her Johnny, whether that be to the alcohol or drugs or even to the arms of another woman. Early on, she’d hoped for a relatively peaceful second life, but nowadays she’s spent a good amount of her time fretting and fussing at him that she almost feels more like a mother than a wife at times. Considering the time and devotion she spent in life to getting him clean and sticking by him despite his misdeeds, she’s willing to do it all over again if it’s for him even if that means being overbearing at times.

I think that’s it for now, but knowing me, I’ve probably missed something that I’ll have to double-back on later when it comes to mind. That being said, feel free to throw anything my way in terms of plots, as I’m all about interacting with as many people as possible! Again, I’m so excited to be here and even more excited to get started, so bless you all!

[pamphletstoinspire]

SAINT KATERI TEKAKWITHA: PRINCESS OF THE EUCHARIST

For many years, American Catholics who wanted to follow in the footsteps of a saint had to travel to Europe. In Assisi, they could step where Saint Francis did. In Ireland, they might walk the byways of Saint Patrick.

It wasn’t until the late-20th-century canonizations of Sister Elizabeth Ann Seton, born in New York City in 1774, and Sister Katharine Drexel, born in Philadelphia in 1858, that Americans finally had the opportunity to stay in the country when visiting places where U.S.-born saints lived and worked.

But the Big Apple and the City of Brotherly Love have changed significantly since the 18th and 19th centuries. In contrast, a virtually unspoiled place trod by a saint lies in upstate New York, thanks to the October 21 canonization of Kateri Tekakwitha, who walked and prayed in what is now the central part of the Empire State. In her time, it was the land of the Mohawks.

TRIBUTE TO THE NATIVE DAUGHTER

By making a trip to the Albany Diocese, people can visit two places associated with this Native American woman. The National Kateri Tekakwitha Shrine, located in Fonda, New York, and operated by the Conventual Franciscans, honors Saint Kateri’s baptismal site, while the Jesuit-run Shrine of Our Lady of Martyrs in Auriesville, New York, marks her birthplace.

The landscape where Kateri walked and prayed hasn’t changed, nor has the meaning of her life, according to Bishop Howard J. Hubbard of the Albany Diocese. Earlier this year, in the diocesan newspaper, The Evangelist, Bishop Hubbard paid tribute to the native daughter: “Despite the pristine simplicity of the civilization [Kateri] experienced and the rather drab ordinariness of her life, there are . . . some important lessons to be drawn from her pilgrim journey of faith,” he said.

First, she was “a woman who understood well and accepted with patient resignation the mystery of the Cross, that mystery which proclaims that our faith is founded on . . . the paradox of death leading to life; the paradox of suffering leading to glory; the paradox of defeat and failure leading to victory.”

Second, continued Bishop Hubbard, Saint Kateri was “a woman of magnificent fortitude, dogged determination, and unswerving conviction. A lesser person might well have yielded to the pressure . . . to squelch that thirst for the God of the Christians, which the Holy Spirit had so copiously stirred up in her heart.”

Finally, he said, Kateri was “a woman of great prayer, a woman who had a deep and abiding awareness of the Lord’s love for her and an ongoing personal relationship with him.”

COMMEMORATING THE CANONIZATION

Since its origin in 1847, the Albany Diocese has commemorated Kateri in several ways. Both the Knights of Columbus and the Catholic Daughters of the Americas have chapters dedicated to her. A diocesan program carries her name: Kateri Institute for Lay Ministry Formation. Most recently, two parishes that merged in Schenectady eschewed creating a portmanteau name from the titles of the former parishes and elected to become St. Kateri Church.

The two national shrines annually host multiple events that involve Native American Catholics. This year, the National Kateri Tekakwitha Shrine celebrated the saint’s feast day on July 14 with Native American rituals and songs. “I wanted to be in the place where she lived, where she was baptized, and where she is still honored,” said Eddie Ryder of Bay Shore, a town on Long Island. “I’m part Native American, and I’ve always wanted to come here and really feel Kateri’s presence.”

As Franciscan Father Mark Steed prepared to celebrate the feast-day Mass in a rustic pavilion on the shrine’s 200 acres of wooded land on the bank of the Mohawk River, he explained the significance of Kateri’s canonization for Native American Catholics. “It authenticates who they are as a people and who she was as an individual living all of those numbers of years ago,” he told Catholic News Service. “It gathers them in now to the whole Church. So they’re not sitting on the fringe. Now they are part of the inner circle.”

Four days later, more than 800 Native American Catholics from throughout North America flocked to the Albany Diocese to attend the 73rd annual Tekakwitha Conference. Holding the conference in Albany was a lucky stroke—or the intercession of a soon-to-be saint — because the event had been slated well before the canonization was announced. The conference, based in Great Falls, Montana, was started in 1939 as a way to unify Native American Catholics from different tribes across the United States.

Participants included members of the Mohawk, Choctaw, Algonquin, Navajo, Ojibwa, and other tribes. They listened to presentations ranging from the connection of Mother Earth and fracking to Native Catholic genealogy and a talk on Kateri as “a princess of the Eucharist.” Throughout the conference the smell of burning sweetgrass — known among native peoples as the “hair of Mother Earth” — wafted through Masses as congregants approached altars, offering corn, beans, and squash with the Eucharist.

Conference executive director Sister Kateri Mitchell, SSA, a Mohawk, said that the organization’s members, as well as other native peoples, routinely return to where the new saint was born and baptized because “there’s something intriguing about Kateri. She was born way back in the mid-17th century and died 24 years later. But in 2012, people still remember this Indian woman.”

WALKING ON HOLY GROUND

Sister Kateri’s own introduction to the new saint occurred when she was a child named Delia; she grew up on the St. Regis Mohawk Reservation, which straddles upstate New York and Canada. “My father would say on some mornings, ‘Let’s go back home.’ By ‘home,’ he meant the Mohawk Valley—Fonda and Auriesville,” she recalled. “He said that even though he had never lived there. The Mohawk people had not lived there for centuries. My father would tell the story of our people when we were there. It was like walking on holy ground.”

As the years passed, she came to love the shrines as much as her father did. “They attracted me,” she explained, and then echoed her father by saying, “It was like going home.”

Eventually, she entered religious life and chose Kateri as her name. When her order later permitted its members to return to their baptismal names, she consulted her parents. “My mother and father said, ‘Keep Kateri.’ It’s a very special name to me. I’m a Kateri more than a Delia.”

The uniqueness of the Kateri sites in upstate New York, she says, is that “they are so beautiful. Nature itself captivates you. People have told me they go there annually because they find a connection with nature and Kateri. It’s very peaceful and sacred. Saint Kateri calls people to deepen their own spiritual lives.”

In 1987, while visiting the United States, Pope John Paul II called Kateri “the best-known witness of Christian holiness among the native people of North America. . . . She always remained . . . a true daughter of her people, following her tribe in the hunting seasons and continuing her devotions in the environment most suited to her way of life, before a rough cross carved by herself in the forest. The Gospel of Jesus Christ, which is the great gift of God’s love, is never in contrast with what is noble and pure in the life of any tribe or nation, since all good things are his gifts.”

Sister Kateri believes that those good gifts include Saint Kateri and the land her people loved, where today’s Catholics can walk in her footsteps.

A SHORT HISTORY OF SAINT KATERI

When Kateri Tekakwitha was proclaimed Saint Kateri Tekakwitha on October 21, she became the first member of a North American tribe to be declared a saint. “The Lily of the Mohawks,” Kateri was born in 1656 in a village along the Mohawk River called Ossernenon, now known as Auriesville, New York. Her father was a Mohawk chief, her mother a Christian Algonquin raised among the French.

When Kateri was 4, a smallpox epidemic claimed her parents and baby brother. She survived, but her face was disfigured and her vision impaired. She was raised by her anti-Christian uncle, who began to plan her marriage. But after meeting with Catholic priests, Kateri decided to be baptized.

Following her Baptism by a Jesuit missionary in 1676 at age 20, Kateri’s family and village ostracized and ridiculed her. She fled the next year to Canada, taking refuge at St. Francis Xavier Mission in the Mohawk Nation at Caughnawaga on the St. Lawrence River, about 10 miles from Montreal, and made her first Communion on Christmas in 1677.

Kateri astounded the Jesuits with her deep spirituality and her devotion to the Blessed Sacrament. She took a private vow of virginity and devoted herself to teaching prayers to the children and helping the sick and elderly of Caughnawaga.

She died in 1680 at age 24. According to eyewitnesses, the scars on her face suddenly disappeared after her death. Soon after, Catholics started to claim that favors and miracles had been obtained through her intercession. Native Americans have made appeals to the Catholic Church for her recognition since at least the late 1800s.

Documentation for Kateri’s sainthood cause was sent to the Vatican in 1932. She was declared venerable in 1942 and in 1980 was beatified by Pope John Paul II.

Records for the final miracle needed for her canonization were sent to the Vatican in July 2009. It involved the full recovery of a young boy in Seattle whose face had been disfigured by flesh-eating bacteria and who almost died from the disease. His family, who is part Native American, had prayed for Kateri’s intercession. On December 19, 2011, Pope Benedict XVI signed the decree recognizing the miracle, clearing the way for Kateri’s canonization.

Written by: James Breig

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard has had an unconventional political career. When first elected in 2012, she became the first Hindu and first American Samoan voting member of Congress. Before that, she was the youngest person ever elected to the Hawaii Legislature but left it behind to deploy to Iraq with the Army National Guard. She is a progressive favorite with a conservative record. She grew up in a mixed-race, mixed-religion1 household that preached both vegetarianism and homophobia.

Now, Gabbard is launching a long-shot campaign for president of the United States, although she still hasn’t made her promised formal announcement. She has little name recognition outside Hawaii, and at age 37, she is only just constitutionally eligible to sit behind the Resolute desk. Fittingly, if she wants to win the Democratic nomination, she’s going to have to follow an unconventional path to get there.

First, it’s very hard to become president — or even get nominated for the job — if the top line on your résumé is U.S. representative. I count 10 such candidates who have run for president in either the Republican or Democratic primary since 2000.2 None finished higher than third place. John W. Davis, in 1924, was the last major-party presidential nominee whose highest previous elected office was the U.S. House.3 The last — and only — sitting U.S. representative to be elected president was James A. Garfield in 1880. It’s hard to stand out when you’re just one of hundreds of legislators, and Gabbard is no exception. Pollsters didn’t ask about Gabbard in a single poll between Election Day 2018 and her announcement earlier this month, a sign that she hadn’t yet made a splash in the invisible primary. And in three national polls released on Tuesday, she registered no higher than 2 percent (3 percent if you limit the field to only the candidates who have announced thus far).

That doesn’t mean Gabbard can’t build a core of support from scratch. She is undeniably a very talented politician, as observers of Hawaii politics can attest. When she first ran for Congress in 2012, she trailed the primary front-runner, the well-known former mayor of Honolulu, by 45 points in early polling, but she wound up defeating him by 21 points. According to the most recent Honolulu Civil Beat poll, she is now Hawaii’s most popular elected official, with a 61 percent positive and 24 percent negative rating. She won her 2018 general election with a whopping 77 percent of the vote, albeit in a very blue district.

Gabbard’s brand in Hawaii is strong thanks in part to her unique combination of identities. As her website puts it, “As a mixed-race woman, combat veteran, martial artist, lifelong vegetarian, and practicing Hindu, she also is the embodiment of the type of diversity which is at the very heart of what America was founded upon.” However, it’s not clear that what helps her in Hawaii will help her in a nationwide primary. The U.S. has a smaller share of Pacific Islander and military voters than Hawaii does, for instance. Her youth and gender look like they could be electoral strengths, at least on the surface: We estimate that around 30 percent of the 2020 Democratic primary electorate will be millennials — a group that Gabbard, having been born in 1981, can uniquely appeal to. And there is evidence from 2018 that Democratic primary voters are going out of their way to vote for women in the Trump era. But on the flip side, it’s naive to assume Gabbard won’t face at least some ageism and sexism in how she’s perceived and covered.

Most likely, though, none of these factors will be as important as Gabbard’s ability to appeal to the left wing of the party. According to Chad Blair, a reporter and editor at Civil Beat, Hawaii’s many progressives are the single biggest source of Gabbard’s political strength. Nationally, she made headlines in the 2016 primary when she quit her position as vice chair of the Democratic National Committee to endorse Bernie Sanders, frustrated with the DNC’s reported favoritism toward Hillary Clinton. In the popular imagination, the episode established her firmly on the progressive side of the “progressive vs. establishment” divide.

There’s just one problem: Although she has voiced support for progressive positions like Medicare for all and free college tuition, her actual record skews moderate. She has broken from her party on votes to increase restrictions on refugees and weaken gun control. She has introduced legislation supported by GOP donor Sheldon Adelson and interviewed for a possible position in Trump’s Cabinet. She has a -0.280 DW-Nominate score, which measures politicians on a scale from -1 (most liberal) to 1 (most conservative) based on their congressional voting records. That made her more conservative than 83 percent of House Democrats in the 115th Congress.

True-believer progressives also balk at Gabbard’s lengthy opposition-research file, which is bulging with ties to controversial figures and lingering questions about her conservative upbringing. While some say her opposition to military intervention in Syria makes her an advocate for peace, others say it makes her a “mouthpiece” for Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. In 2017, she was widely rebuked for taking a meeting with Assad, an act that legitimized the accused war criminal, and saying she was “skeptical” of the U.S. conclusion that Assad had used chemical weapons. The previous year, she was one of only three members of Congress to vote against a resolution condemning the Syrian government’s use of force against its own people.

Closer to home, Gabbard grew up a spiritual follower of a Hare Krishna sect that has been accused by former members of being an authoritarian cult. Its teachings ran the gamut from environmentalism to anti-gay activism, something that has already created headaches for Gabbard’s presidential campaign. As a teenager, Gabbard worked with her father, a fervent crusader against gay rights, at the Alliance for Traditional Marriage, which supported conversion therapy and helped pass an anti-same-sex marriage law. At least twice as a state representative, Gabbard referred to LGBT-rights advocates as “homosexual extremists.” She has since apologized and released a lengthy statement affirming her support for same-sex marriage and “LGBTQ+” rights, but as late as 2016, she told Ozy magazine that her personal views remained unchanged. In 2017, she told the New Yorker, “Just because that’s not my lifestyle, I don’t think that government should make sure that everybody else’s lifestyles match my own.”

Overall, Gabbard is a good example of why the “progressive vs. establishment” narrative is a flawed one. Really, party divisions unfold along two dimensions: ideology (progressive vs. moderate) and tone (establishment vs. anti-establishment). Gabbard is an anti-establishment moderate, and it’s not clear if there’s an appetite for that in a primary. Then again, that’s what Trump was — and GOP primary voters didn’t seem bothered by his controversies and frequent departures from conservative gospel. The big question for Gabbard is whether Democratic voters are also willing to look past similar imperfections for the right messenger. And like Trump, she is a compelling messenger.