#the wizard whines

[wizqevelynart]

Migraine hangover my behated

I have plans and they don’t involve you, migraine hangover so gtfo

[fucked-shrimp]

nsfw

sirius is SUCH a a drama queen during sex. like he's so put together and confident in public and his voice is smooth and even, but when remus is railing the shit out of him (like he does every time) it's a whole different story.

and theyre not soft moans, oh no no no, theyre powerful. like loud, wobbly, powerful moans. he isn't forming coherent sentences at all. you can hear each thrust abstruct his voice, like when youre talking in a car and you go over a pothole. he looks almost theatrical.

[rosathoughtss]

just wanted to get on the girlblog and whine about school because WHY DID WE GET ASSIGNED SO MUCH HOMEWORK AND A TEST LIKE WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABT LAST YEAR'S EXAMPLES AND STUDIES STILL LIKE WHYYY DO WE NEED A TEST FOR THAT THAT WE FIND OUT ABOUT ON FRIDAY AND HAVE TO STUDY FOR TILL MONDAY!?? THAT'S CLEARLY NOT ENOUGHHHHH

[essektheylyss]

Wizard research nerdery, we're getting the story of the night Suvi left her parents, AND we're about to reach the Citadel? Arc two is for wizard stans. But specifically me, wizard research stan in particular.

[verbjectives]

still a little sore from tuesday but i've signed up for the boxing gym membership and am going back tonight 👍🥊

[sk1fanfiction]

Idc what the epilogue says. Harry would definitely not become a cop. He would retake his seventh year and either set up an advocacy group for magical children in abusive households and/or become the Defence professor.

[anghraine]

Nothing like being super into something highly visual to make me mourn my lack of artistic skills ;_;

[tomboyyyaoi]

trigun twitter blows like actually fucking sucks ass like actually eats shit like good god what a cesspit. what a fucking travesty how those people live and consume media, twitter fandoms continue losing, seethe, rot, fester, youre all doomed

[hasturlover]

Bought a new phonecase because it's so rosekiller-coded

[marinersubmariner]

Reyyyyyy

TL;DR I can’t believe Star Wars made me sad about getting new Star Wars

Even though I’m no different from everybody else wanting Star Wars to break free of the endless prequels/callbacks/rehashed time periods that it’s mired in, the truly unfortunate thing about TROS is that it was so painful and left me perpetually trying to repair and reconcile it in my imagination with a litany of demented headcanons that now anything moving beyond that time period is... also going to be painful. Continuation will only make it more real and irreversible. They’re not going to focus on the things that have become so important to me to fix, because the official story is something that they can’t and won’t acknowledge as being broken. There is a fundamental, irreparable disconnect in what, to them, is the canon and what, to me, is a mistake.

I wish I could say they can’t hurt me anymore, but they can. They can hurt me even worse now because I’m still bleeding out in a ditch from the last time.

I really do try to focus on things I like (and there is a lot of silly and bad Star Wars that I like!) and not get bogged down by bitterness and negativity, so it really bums me out that it’s so hard to feel excited about this. Over the past few years it has been increasingly depressing to dwell on a special interest without new content as fandom activity diminishes by the day. Nothing compares to the excitement of not knowing what will happen next, seeing a new trailer, anticipating New Stuff. But on the other hand the dormancy feels... safe? Relaxed? I mean, there’s no time pressure of current events or new things on the way, I know all the material I have to work with, and beyond that I can just make up whatever shit I want! I may be sad but I’m free! WELL NOT ANYMORE.

As with all overused buzzwords I really hate fandom’s use of the word “feral” these days, but annoyingly that’s the best word for this type of thing. I used to be a domesticated canon fan, but canon ended and I was released into the wild and forced to fend for myself, and now if canon ever tries to adopt me again I’m going to be hissing and biting and clawing and refusing to eat whatever they try to feed me because I developed my own way to survive. :(

I think a big part of why some people hated TLJ so much is that they were committed to the headcanons they invented after TFA and they had a very specific idea of what they wanted to happen. Being super invested in your own fanfic ideas kills your ability to let other people tell the story. And while of course everyone has thoughts about where a story might go, I wasn’t so invested after TFA that there were things I NEEDED to see. By the time TLJ rolled around I only abstractly cared about what happened next and my interest was entirely as a gen fan. So I loved TLJ! Just being along for the ride is so fun! It’s chill! Head empty!

Even pre-TROS, while my investment skyrocketed after TLJ and I had a specific wishlist, I didn’t have an unreasonable wishlist (I THOUGHT). I didn’t game it out with detailed theories or reading fanfic or anything, it just seemed like there were pretty obvious things they needed to do to wrap things up in a satisfying way. So the disappointment came into play, but more in the sense of “uh this does not align with some very basic expectations that had been set by the previous 8 movies.”

After TROS is where it got ugly, and I suddenly CARED about SHIPPING because they made me like it and ruined it AT THE SAME TIME so my need to fix it became so strong that there’s now a whole separate fanon ecosystem that has taken up residence in my brain. They left us high and dry with an inert ending and no hope, the door slammed shut on any interesting new path for the future. Of course fans are gonna try to circumvent that any way they can.

So now that they’ve confirmed new post-sequel material is coming... haha I’m in danger. It’s so scary. I’m sweating. I’m panicking. They’re never gonna do what I want because what I want is crazy. I am guaranteed disappointment from every angle, on all fronts, no matter which way it comes from it is coming for me. Even if they DID do exactly what I want (they won’t), that would still be disappointing because reality never lives up to expectations. It’s a no-win scenario.

I can’t be a breezy gen fan anymore. I have an agenda. The fun is over. I’m too attached to the infinite possibilities of my imaginary scenarios and I don’t want them to be obliterated by grim reality. I’m gonna lose it. I’ve already lost it. TROS + pandemic times broke me so completely that there’s no going back. I’m done for.

Even setting aside [DEAD CHARACTER] factors, the most basic metric is that it’s going to be hard for me to accept any new story with Rey when I still can’t hear or read “Rey Skywalker” without cringing out of my body. There’s no way around it, they’re not gonna undo it, they really saddled us with that embarrassment for the rest of time, tainting everything that follows. All future story has to be built on an unstable foundation because there are things in TROS that truly can’t be undone (“we knew you were a Palpatine the whole time lol”). And I’m especially wary now that the franchise seems pretty dedicated to getting worse as it expands. TROS felt like such a betrayal, and so much of the live-action tv output since then has been mediocre to bad, I’ve lost the trust I had in 2019.

I have so many issues with just the suggestion of Rey alone rebuilding the Jedi, because the thing I actually wanted out of the sequels was Rey, Finn, and Ben as the founders of a new Jedi Order—which, you know, obviously didn’t happen. Of course we don’t know anything at this point (like if this movie will even really get made at all) so there’s no way of knowing if other characters will return (Rose Rose Rose Rose), but even throwing it out there as “yeah just Rey by herself! only Rey! alone, like she was always meant to be!” is maddening. I will be shocked if John Boyega ever comes back to play Finn since he seems pretty definitively done with it, and even on the off chance that Ben gets acknowledged he’ll still be dead, and it all makes me so sad that there was such an enormous opportunity of having this next generation established in their own trilogy actually become a team and usher in a new era together and instead it’s just. Rey, alone.

And the fact that NOW they’re like “oh right maybe we should’ve done something with the whole Jedi thing when we were wrapping up the saga”… oh my god. Yeah no shit!!!!!

I guess I still have a while longer to desperately cling to my deluded hope that they’ll do something good that I want. There’s a bunch of dyad cosmic weirdness just sitting there undefined and unexplored, FOR EXAMPLE, and if nothing else I have gotten soooo good at clowning. I’m going to clown until it’s absolutely not possible to clown anymore, and even then I’ll probably still clown.

For now I have to try and ensconce myself in the tiniest bubble of my positivity that I love Rey! And I’m so excited to see her! And for her to get NEW OUTFITS and NEW HAIRSTYLES!!! And USE HER OWN LIGHTSABER!!!!

(and she bangs a ghost.)

haha who said that

[taras-bulbasaur]

being a gaiusfucker who hates Werlyt is truly hell. whenever someone’s like “wait why do people hate Gaius and love Emet-Selch, emet’s way worse” I can’t be like “yeah that is a double standard! blorbo defense squad!” instead I’m just like “well emet-selch had a fantastic character arc that recontextualized all of the villains’ actions up until now while Gaius basically just got to infodump until he was stuffed into side content that relegated everything that should have been an important character moment to offscreen or nonexistent so they could fit in more mecha references and misery porn”

[wizqevelynart]

[kermit flails] I don’t wanna do the work today I don’t really wanna do the work today…

[kihaku-gato]

Yt algorithm better stop trying to shove the terfzard game/franchise down my throat.

The vid where a guy built a model of Stardew Valley's Wizard Tower though? Keep that coming.

[trashpandasaga]

SIR

Random NSFW Gale of Waterdeep headcanons

TW: mentions of male masterbation, pining, sex, oral, romance, some angst, reader called a woman and implied cis. I recommend listening to touch tank while reading. Please send in requests!

Gale has been alone, touch starved for many, many years

So for a fact, this man whimpers when you first touch him in a different way. A lingering grab of his arm, a few brushes against his hands, brushing shoulders when sitting next to your camp fire, etc

And he plays it off very well. You’d believe him if it weren’t for the growing tent in that robe

Gale is very much in denial about it all. His own feelings, your feelings

You’d have to clearly paint the picture of you wanting him for Gale to actually act on it

Oh and if you decide to tease him? He’s gonna be thinking about you all night. There’s a lot of emotions there. You’d be his first moral lover in a long, long time

And then he beats himself up over thinking of you as a lover, as if you’d want him like he wants you

Gale grinds onto his bedroll in his sleep. Something you noticed after waking up in the middle of the night

But how you and Gale get to fucking is not for this random cannons. That’s for another time. How he fucks, however, is for right now

Gale may be behind on his kissing skills but he is certainly still is fantastic at giving head

And he’s so enthusiastic about it too. This man wants to live between your thighs, especially if they’re big, he’s use them exclusively as pillows, no exceptions

His tongue isn’t the only magical thing either

He’s a wizard, he casts spells, he uses his hands, he can learn you inside and out very fast, it only took a few seconds for him to get the perfect rhythm of his fingers pulling inside to get you screaming his name

And he’ll be between your legs until you’re a shaking mess, pressing your legs further apart with his big hands, fingernails digging into your skin. and only then come up for air

Although you don’t get much of a break as he whispers the filthiest sentences right in your ear, using giving you hickeys as pauses from his vulgar tales of what he will do to you

Based on all that you’d probably think he loves getting oral

Because it’s true, Gale loves when you suck his dick. But he likes it softer, not sloppy and fast, but very sensual

His favorite position is anything where he can see your face, he wants to look into your eyes when you cum

Him telling you to hold your orgasm so he can stick his tongue back in you to taste you

If it were up to Gale, y’all would fuck after every and any fight, he can’t tear his eyes off you the whole time

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[kirain]

Gale sucks. He eats my magic items.

I gave Gale a ring that puked pretty colours, a crusty pendant that thought it was a nightlight, and an old boot that expected me to stand in water during combat just for the chance to give an enemy a slight shock—and one of those items I bought at a vendor with 20 gold coins I yanked from an ogre's ass. People really be massacring entire villages just to get a crumb of approval from Astarion, but whine because the wizard needs to munch on three pieces of a jeweler's finest rejects. 😒

And he does that because he doesn't want other people to die for his mistakes. He apologises and thanks you every time. Like, calm down. Give him your sock.