#the wife who takes absolutely no shit. who is married to an absolute nightmare and who rises above

[novelconcepts]

My brain will not let me process the whole of Usher until it throughly, and I mean throughly, analyzes everything about Juno. 😂 I absolutely loved her character. And she wasn't even really the point!

Oh my god, Juno is the best. I loooove Ruth Codd, I love her deliveries so much, and to have this outsider to the family who went through hell, thought she was getting the fairy-tale ending, and then…just got more bullshit piled on. Damn, dude. The fact that she just keeps trying even though these kids (almost all of whom are her elders) give her NOTHING in return. And she still shows up for them! She’s one of the only characters I sympathize with through the show, and I loved her whole “nah, man, I’ll take three years of hell over more time with you” thing. She’s brilliant.

[sol-insidious]

But listen, Din Djarin and Han Solo were written in song to be absolute ✨besties✨ and they’d both immediately know it and give each-other TWICE as much shit for it LMAOOOOO

We’re talking about a pair of fathers with force-sensitive sons who are each married/dating one half of the Skywalker twins. They’re partners to two extremely powerful figures in the galaxy in their own domains — from the halls of the Senate on Chandrila to distant moons housing ruins of ancient Jedi Temples.

And they’re like, YUP, that’s my wife. I used to smuggle drugs for money. or YUP, that’s my beloved. I used to carbon-freeze or straight up kill people for money. Still do as a side gig.

They’d both have no idea how to reassure their son on nights when they’d confuse nightmares with visions, or feel helpless when they can’t take the literal galactic burdens off their partners’ shoulders. But the two of them knowing that they’d still fight to the teeth to keep their loved ones safe and happy MMMMM. IMAGINE THE KINSHIP.

And just as Din thinks Solo isn’t as insufferable as he thought, that maybe he’s judged the man too harshly, Han casually fact-drops that he once bent Luke over the passenger seat Din’s sitting on right now and asks if the kid’s still noisy in bed and Din is 2 seconds away from stabbing more fucking holes in Solo’s face than a block of bantha cheese.

[pencildragons]

Thinking forever about my au where padmé is very happily married to both anakin and sabé, and, possibly due to his subsequent critical proximity to sabé (who imo would take EXTREMELY limited amounts of his shit and anyway She Was There First) + the aggressively healthy polyamory negotiations that ensue after a LOT of couples therapy with the 3 of them, narrowly avoids but does avoid Falling during the events of RoTS. instead, in a Series Of Circumstances that involve obi-wan being kidnapped by the seperatists/dooku/grievous and cody being presumed dead a month or so prior, anakin: is argued off the mental ledge by sabé, kills palpatine with her, rescues his master from being tortured, gives up his vow as a member of the knight corps (but not necessarily the Jedi order), and promptly has a mental breakdown that has been thirteen years in the making.

Simultaneously and in the immediate aftermath of this, padmé is blowing shit the fuck up in the senate (only just metaphorically) as the republic threatens to crumble and collapse under the weight of its own corruption—everything is in absolute chaos, peace has been reached and the GAR has been dissolved, so the war is KIND of over mostly??? This however results in the two new bereaucratic nightmares of: a) the Confederacy of Independent Systems is still very very much a thing and b) of what the fuck do you do with two billion super soldiers who although being sentient very much still do not yet have full sentient rights, and where the fuck do you put them without collapsing planetary economic infrastructures???

this is all very very fine and a great distraction from the fact that her husband, her wife, and her friend-slash-brother-in-law are all to lesser and greater extents both physically and mentally fucked up beyond belief rn—except then she’s the target of an assassination attempt, maybe by one of former-chancellor-palpatine’s supporters (because let’s be real, anakin killed him on the basis that he was The Sith Lord who also happened to be an extremely corrupt galactic leader; however much he sucked hugely, he was above all playing a very very long game and remarkably good at hiding his tracks, so there are of course many who believe the Sith thing is somewhere between a hoax and a political conspiracy). Her spine is badly injured during this, and she ends up having an emergency c-section a month premature.

it is at this point that padmé naberrie thule amidala decides ‘fuck this actually’, retires early, and rounds up her wife, her husband, her friend-slash-brother-in-law, her two newborn children, her droid, her husband’s droid, and a nurse droid, and moves back to seceded Naboo to live on her family’s estate, and then to the mountainous belt that her mother is from, which is when my fic vaguely planned around this idea actually begins.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 괴물/Beyond Evil.

Beyond Evil is a 2021 Korean drama about two cops that solve a small-town murder that one of them might have committed. Also there's more than one murder to be solved. Also more than one of those murders happened twenty years ago. Also, the cop might have gotten away with at least one of those too.

It got sold to me on the strength of the main pairing, which is absolutely captivating and worth the price of admission. But the entire cast is amazing, the story is great, and it's all just so satisfying. I love everyone in this weird small Korean town. I love having emotions and various Korean foods with them.

I got five reasons why you should watch it! Read 'em!

1. Do You Want To See An Old Man Cry?

In fact, do you want to see every man cry? Do you want to see every man in the cast either cry or pretend to cry or be on the verge of tears at least once? Do you want to see the main characters, who are both men, cry multiple times, often while otherwise wet as well?

Well, buddy, Beyond Evil has got you covered.

2. Absolute Nightmare/Absolute Nightmare

I do not consider it a spoiler to tell you that Han Juwon (the younger one, on the right) is a very mentally unstable superboy. You already know everyone thinks Lee Dongsik (the older one, on the left) is psycho -- it's nearly the first thing you learn about him. But when you're introduced to Han Juwon, you're given the impression that maybe he's just cold, self-possessed, and competent.

No. He is an absolute freak. This is a freak4freak relationship. They are both completely unhinged. They have both been traumatized to nigh-unimaginable degrees, and they have each decided to make it the other's problem. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for both of them, they both get off on that real hard, and they get real mad sometimes about how hard they're getting off on it. It's delicious.

And yet what makes it great is how they're different flavors of freak. They've got the age difference (40 and 27). They've got the height difference (even though the actors are only like 1cm apart, the whole thing is somehow shot like there's a bigger gap). They've got the class difference (small town weirdo and cop royalty). One's a messy bitch, and one's a prissy prince. One has a whole network of people who affectionately endure him, and one has exactly 0.73 friends. One wants to take care of everyone else but not himself, and one has never looked out for anyone else a day in his life. One's a smug little shit, and one's ... also a smug little shit, but differently.

You have perhaps been given the impression that Beyond Evil is like Hannibal, and that Juwon/Dongsik is like Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter. It's not, and yet it scratches a similar itch, if that makes sense.

Don't let me give you the impression that this is textually gay. They do not smooch or anything, so don't be waiting for that. But holy cow, is it homoromantic -- and the leads know it is, and they roll around in it, and everyone else in the production supports their doing it. They have the kind of chemistry stars are jealous of. (It helps that the younger actor is a muffin who has a such crush on the older one.)

And that's even before the part where they get married live on national television. Is that a joke? You'll have to watch to find out.

3. Lee Changjin (and the other antagonists)

I'll talk in a second about excellent and despicable all the bad guys are. But I need a special moment for this motherfucker right here.

Lee Changjin is a wretched, scummy piece of shit who damn near walks away with every scene he's in. He's not the worst like a little meow meow -- he is the actual worst, and it's so good. He's sleazy. He's pathetic. He's hot as fuck. You meet his ex-wife, and you're like, no, honey, sure it was a bad decision, but I totally get it.

Clearly he has a special place in my heart, but all the bad guys in this series are done so damn well. Their realism makes them even scarier. They're not incomprehensible ghouls out there being bad just to be bad. They're (mostly) making calculated decisions based on keeping their own heads above water, and to hell with everyone else.

I'm not going to spoil the identity of the murderer for you -- but it kind of doesn't matter, because you find out who it is less than halfway through the show (and because there are multiple people in this show who've killed someone). There's something bigger and more awful at work here, perpetrated by people that you knew were bad news from the moment you met them.

Beyond Evil is a cop show that is not copaganda, because one of the biggest villains in the series is misuse of police power. The show stresses accountability for police misconduct -- to the point where that accountability hurts characters we want to see get away with stuff because, come on, their bad behavior was totally justified! But it wasn't! The ends do not justify the means here. The world is not better when powerful people use their power to get out of the consequences of their shitty, selfish actions, even when those shitty, selfish actions were objectively kind of cool.

Fair warning, a lot of this show is about complicated relationships with abusive, absent, deceased, and otherwise difficult parents. Those parents are not always (or even mostly) the bad guys -- but the bad guys are all shitty parents. And yet, their adult children are tied to them in complicated ways that do said children no favors. Some of the most heartbreaking pieces of the show are about how these kids break free from those parents -- or, more tragically, don't.

4. Just plain good television

This is a series that can be handled by Your Average American Television Enjoyer Who Can Handle Subtitles. Its quality is on par with a lot of well-thought-of English-language shows I've seen. It's a tight, well-plotted story that's clear enough to be easy to follow, which is sometimes a high bar for a multi-tendriled murder mystery. The small-town setting even gives it a good source of levity to break up the otherwise tight tension.

It's only sixteen episodes long, but there are enough reveals to make a rewatch more than worth your while. The first half in particular improves exponentially on the second viewing, because once you have all the information, events and decisions that you initially read one way, you can see meant something else entirely.

I was initially going to say that if this were in English, all those fans of things like the Wire and True Detective would be super-horny for it -- except that's not true, is it? No, shows like that (which I have seen, for the record) glorify cops who can't be held down by your damn system, so they have to say screw the rules to get things done, because they're too cool and manly for things like paperwork! While Beyond Evil acknowledges that there are some places where the Korean law system is janky and might let a guilty person go free, but that doesn't mean cops get to do whatever they want about it.

My declaration of the show's quality isn't just me judging by my own tastes. This show won the Korean equivalent of Emmys for Best Drama, Best Screenplay, and a well-deserved Best Actor for Shin Hakyun, who plays that incredibly handsome horrible old man. This is a show that actual people who hand out actual awards for good television thought deserved awards.

So I guess if you always wanted to get into those shows a certain kind of dude can't stop talking about, but you had reservations about how authoritarian/libertarian/misogynistic/homophobic/boring they are, Beyond Evil is here for you!

5. Written and directed by women

This one I think is important as hell, because this is a Dead Girl Show (i.e., a show where men kill multiple women as a major part of the plot), and I know a lot of people are justifiably wary about those. However, there are no hints of sexual assault. The violence is gendered, but it's not sexualized. The murders and postmortem mutiliations are handled with the appropriate horror, but it's not torture porn. And the dead girls are treated like -- and grieved like -- actual humans who matter.

I think a whole lot of this can be chalked up to the fact that both the writer and the director of Beyond Evil are women.

In fact, not only are they both women, they're women who don't do this kind of story all the time. Shim Nayeon has directed five things, four of which are comedy/slice-of-life series. Kim Sujin has written a few dramas about mystery-solving teams, but even more comedy and adaptations of webtoons. I have no idea how the two of them got put on this drama together, but it was a perfect match.

This is not to say that men would be incapable of pulling off a story like this. It is, however, a commentary on violence, and how different it looks if you've grown up seeing yourself everywhere as its object rather than its subject. Sure, you could just flip the script and make a story about a lady punchkicker! A lot of people have, and I've enjoyed many of them! But you could also choose to tell a story about gendered violence in a way that isn't just needlessly retraumatizing the people who have to live their entire lives under its shadow. Moreover, you could tell a story about how even good-guy cops can wind up unintentionally buying into paradigms where some women are valuable and some are disposible.

...And if it winds up being teensy bit of a fantasy story about a world in which so many cops give a shit about this violence, well, that's what fiction is for, right?

In short, you love a team of powerful ladies power-drunk on an Arnold Palmer of Respect Women Juice and Sad Man Tears.

Bonus: BANGER SOUNDTRACK

Oh, it's so, so good. (Spotify link)

Have I convinced you to watch it yet?

It's on Netflix, which may be easiest for most people! However, it's also on Viki, and I much prefer the subtitles over there, because a) they keep the flavor of the Korean terms of address, and b) they actually translate the damn episode titles (wtf Netflix?).

There's no bad way to watch it, though!

(ack, they're so cute~)

[screamlet]

9-1-1 Tag Game

tagged by @rcmclachlan and @sorryimlatecapt

Rules: answer your opinion on these nine topics, then tag nine (ish) other people to give their opinion as well

what's kind of sad about writing this out is that i think none of the things below apply to 8A, which has been such a fucking horror and a slog to get through. ugh. anyway.

---

Favorite Character: peter krause. no but for real, i love peter krause and i have forever. i think bobby is the character they've put their back into over the course of the series, and then actually succeeding in making him a real presence and character is peter krause. i still think about 4x09 and the drunk driver who caused the pile-up (thank you for the reminder @rcmclachlan) "bobby, you are nothing like that woman" "i am exactly like that woman. the day i forget that will be a very dangerous day." ugh bobby FOREVER!!!!

(runner up is season 1 buck, my beautiful nightmare boy, my god, i love him forever.)

Character You Relate to the Most: the buckley siblings, like, as a unit. i have a younger brother, we have not been through All That Trauma but we've had our own, and sometimes tv and movie siblings are so mean and mean-spirited that i just turn it off. but buck and maddie (especially in those Buckley Family episodes) shatter me, i love them so much. they love each other as family and like each other as people and i deeply relate to that. WHERE IS MADDIE BEGINS.

Favorite Episode: i reblogged this last night because 4x4 and 4x5 (the daniel reveal, buck begins) are Absolutely It. that gifset was what got me to start watching because who was the beautiful now-bisexual man that yelled so good???? and ugh, listen, tolkien/the silmarillion was one of my first fandoms, i fucking love backstory and LORE, just give it to me!!!!!!!!!

Hottest Take: i think they've wasted eddie every single second he's been on screen. have they ever known what they wanted to do with him? have they ever come close? i would love even one or two of the things ryan g. says about eddie tackling toxic masculinity to make it into the show, ever. give me anything!!!!! i want some canon crumbs!!!!!

meanwhile: i reread this shannon meta once in a while and it's a glimpse into a character and dynamic that would have been amazing to explore as part of eddie's story. hey. give me this fucking story. give me anything like this. GOD. what a waste.

Favorite Lone Star Character: ummmm the handsome gentlemen who are married. them. (i think i saw half of s1 of LS and got distracted, then haven't gone back to it, but i support those men and their homosexuality!!! god what you have done for those tv gays-)

Favorite Ship: yeaaaah that's bucktommy for me

Most Underrated Character: are any of them underrated??? i want more karen. i always want more karen. KAREN, MY BEAUTIFUL SCIENCE LESBIAN WIFE, COME BACK TO ME. in a world where someone gave me millions of dollars to play with, there would be a three-part opener where karen and tommy are at some aerospace conference or whatever, and then Disaster Strikes and they have to team up and save the day from the inside. they put on goggles and flight suits and do some crazy shit in a shuttle. vote for me.

Most Underrated Ship: bobby/athena/married hijinks :( i was promised (among other things!!!!!!!!!!!!) that after the serious cruise ship stuff they'd get to have a little fun!!! WHERE'S MY LITTLE FUN.

One Thing You’d Love to See: good writing

tagging: who hasn't done this yet??? do iiiiit talk at me @geddyqueer @chamacafeahorrible @dadvans @iphyslitterator @stars-inthe-sky @thetouchof118

[slash-aaa]

like this for a starter from one of my d.imension 20 muses. specify muse(s) from under the cut, there's a little blurb about each to help:

ayda augefort. half phoenix in her 3rd incarnation. autistic. logical / analytical. owns a library of spells on a pirate island. daughter to the dean of a magical high school.

lady amangeaux. once queen of vegetania, her title was stripped from her once her husband, the king, died. caring, compassionate, and willing to fight for what's right. thoughtful and empathetic, she's trying not to become bitter with the war. has telepathy and can communicate nonverbally.

king amethar. rightful king of candia. man made of rock candy. nearly assassinated. not very good at being king, but he's learning alongside his wife and daughters. good in battle.

prince andhera. prince of air and darkness. awkward, hot, and muscular. done trying to make his mother proud - he's going to make himself and his friends proud, instead.

barry syx. number six of the nine barry clones. lost all of his brother clones to barry nine, who killed everyone but syx. big himbo, but happy to be here. good with guns. cyborg.

cassandra. goddess of doubt and the unknown. unstable. also known as the nightmare king when corrupt. needs followers to stay alive, but can't manage to get many (for obvious reasons).

cody 'night angel' walsh. works at hot topic. into black clothes, satan, and kickass rock music. has a good heart beneath all the spikes and dark colors.

colin provolone. born of the dairy isles. daddy issues. a very loyal himbo who tries to do what's right. did not want to be a part of a war, but destiny had other plans.

delloso de la rue. mistrex of ceremonies at the bloom for over a millennia. needs everything to be perfect. has never enjoyed any of the festivities. has been hiding themself for too long - they're finally ready to show who they really are, and start living.

evan kelmp. wizard going to school for magic, and staving off the dark monsters and magic within him. orphaned, homeless, and a sad boi. bad at making friends, and has a bad temper, but a good heart.

fabian seacaster. son of a famous swashbuckler. pompous and very wealthy. acts as if he's above everyone else, because that's how he was raised. cares about his friends, even if he doesn't say it. has a talking, demonic motorcycle. loves to dance.

garthy o'brien. anasimar pirate and impresariex of the gold gardens. they trade in a lot of fine goods, especially magical items, and are known for their ability to break curses. nonbinary and badass. calm and pretty much unshakable. everyone wants to be with them. a bit of a flirt.

prince gerard. the frog prince. turned human when he married his wife, but cursed to turn back because of his cowardice. has anxiety, but learns how to fight and overcome his fears. still has his frog powers when he's a man once more.

gorgug thirstlespring. half orc. adopted, by gnome parents. emo teenager who likes music. trying to fight better. became an athlete with two of his friends. kind of sad. just wants to belong. now an artificer and builds great stuff, just like his mom and dad.

kingston brown. the man who knows everyone. protector of new york city. do no harm, but take no shit attitude. loves his parents. slow to trust, but loyal once he does. magical. vox populi.

kristen applebees. grew up in a religious home, now constantly questioning her faith and deities. recently found out she's a lesbian. laid back and chill, most of the time. philosophical in nature. smart, but a little clueless. absolutely built. worships the goddess of doubt. running for class president.

kugrash. 5 foot tall rat who travels through the subways of new york to help people struggling with homelessness. friends with santa claus. cares deeply about people and wants the world to change. has the mouth of a sailor, but means well.

pete conlan. also known as 'pete the plug' because he's a drug dealer. uses a lot of his own drugs because of a bad breakup. trans man who is estranged from his family. just learned magic and is absolutely tripping out.

pib. trickster spirit. familiar trapped in animal form due to his keeper dying. mischievous and always ready for a scheme. likes money. loyal as long as he likes you. good heart underneath it all. will change back into a human when he finds someone new to serve, or frees himself.

pinocchio. not a real boy, and never will be. warlock who gets his magic from his strings. used to lie a lot, but he's trying to be better. likes to tell jokes, but isn't the best at it. not very serious. drinks whiskey and eats bubblegum.

riz gukgak. wants to be a detective, so he's always investigating. carries a briefcase wherever he goes. acts too old for his age. drinks a lot of coffee. i'm always willing to take the stress off of his friends.

ruby rocks. one daughter of king amethar. twin to jet rocks. princess, but would rather perform in the circus. wants to be a part of the people and help them. has wild ambitions. practitioner of magical tricks.

sandra lynn faeth. fig's mother. has issues keeping partners. brave and willing to protect the kids at any cost. 100% mom coded, down to the mom jeans. great with a bow. has a griffon familiar.

theobald gumbar. a giant, pink gummy bear. knight of candia. loyal to the house of rocks. good in battle, not the best at casual conversation, but he's learning. will fight until the death, if needed. needs to relax a little bit.

[luminousbeings-crudematter]

https://www.tumblr.com/luminousbeings-crudematter/732875394009661440/yo-im-cumming-to-simons-cooking-tutorial-videos tis i, the same anon again. this was just absolutely go smacking stuff. love what you've been cooking, so i will ask for more. im wondering what car does simon drive? how did reader go to work previously before simon became her ride? im giggling thinking about her biking to work or having to carpool with johnny and him being a shit reckless driver, which kinda fits him. and when did simon have the i want her to be my wife, for me to be her husband moment? 6 months is honestly an impressive amount of time. they did start off as fuck buddies (as i gleaned from the chapters, although i might be wrong) so i would love to hear how she went from fuck this annoyingly amazing prick of a boss to he's still a piece of shit but i'll put up with him because i love him (derogatory)!!!! i love their dynamic honestly i do see myself in the reader a lot and really crave that sort of charged banter between people, as well as love how snarky and disgustingly confident simon is so this au. is REALLY dear to my heart!!! side note... if u take anons... i would love to be 😼 kitty anon!!! or knife anon 🔪🔪🔪 ... whichever u prefer!! have an amazing day!!!! 😼🔪😼🔪

You're seriously going to make me cry, you don't understand how much I LOVE these two! I feel like I shot myself in the foot with Alford Plea, because I could have written sooo much more for them! And also I am so happy to hear you relate to reader - she is the perfect match for him, isn't she? I love them I love them I love them

Now to get to the juicy stuff:

What does Simon drive?

BIG warning: I am not a car girly and will never be BUT I headcanon that Simon drives a big, fuck off, impractical car. To me, it's a black 2011 Range Rover Evoque. And I say it's impractical because...

How did you get to work before you started hooking up with Simon?

...in my mind, the story takes place in London. Of course, you take the Tube to work. Commuting in London is a nightmare, but driving??? LMAO. Good luck. No, like anyone in London who values their sanity and peace, you used to take the Tube to work. That being said, Simon is stubborn, and drives his fuck off gas guzzler, and does not give a flying fuck. You once asked him to ride on the Tube with you, and he didn't even bother responding.

When did Simon realise he wanted to marry you?

It was a rare Sunday afternoon when you were both home. You were making a marinara sauce. It had held your attention for the better part of the day and Simon had been delegated to assisting you. When you were finally happy with it, you held out a wooden spoon full of sauce to him to taste. This is the one, you'd said, your eyes shining and excited. Yeah, he'd thought to himself. The one.

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

thinking about gareth being a stay at home dad with two kids? i dunno i'm just really into that domestic fluff shit right now lmao

me too 🥹 i love all the domestic stuff, they’re some of my favorite requests!

Gareth has absolutely no issue with being a stay at home dad

I like to think that when he’s older he’s got a boy and a girl, but the girl is a few years older

He loves them more than anything else in the world

(other than you of course)

While you’re at work, his days are full of getting to do all his favorite things

He’ll help you get the kids ready for school so you can drop them off on your way to work

He’ll do all the housework just to make sure you don’t come home to a sink full of dirty dishes and a living room full of toys

But of course he makes the kids help clean up their messes

He loves getting to go out and go grocery shopping, but he likes it even more when the whole family can go

He’s the type of guy who loves family time

Especially getting to spend weekends together while you’re off work and the kids are out of school

You’ll both be up early and wake the kids up with your cleaning day music, and by this time he’s already got breakfast made

He’ll let the kids take their breakfast and sit in front of the TV before they get to cleaning their rooms and helping you two with the rest of the housework

Once all the housework is done for the kids he’ll let them play outside while you read on the porch and he takes care of the outside chores

(And you’re not complaining one bit, that man looks delicious after getting all dirtied up from mowing the lawn)

After everything is all finished up, you’ll get some well deserved family time

He loves getting to be the fun dad, so he always suggests taking everyone out to get ice cream or going to the park so the kids can see their friends

And he’s quite possibly the best dad you’ve ever seen

He knows when to be fun and when it’s time to be strict

He’ll teach both your kids to be respectful to one another and he always make sure they can see how well the two of you work together with your marriage so they can see what a healthy relationship looks like

His favorite time of day is nighttime, everyone’s eaten dinner and the kids are halfway asleep in front of the TV while you two are snuggled up under a blanket on the couch

You’ll wait a bit until the kids are asleep before carrying them up to their rooms and giving them each a kiss goodnight before going back downstairs for some alone time

As much as he loves spending time with his kids, he adores getting to spend time with his wife

You’ll snuggle up on the couch, put on a scary movie, and just have a nice quiet night in with each other before heading up to bed

And he always insists on carrying you up princess style like he used to do when you first got married but you know he’s getting a bit too old to do it all the way up the stairs

So you just settle for him carrying you from the doorway to your bed

You’ll give each other a kiss and hold each other under the covers until you fall asleep

But he’s suddenly woken up by the gentle cries of your son in your doorway

His eyes are red and he’s holding on tightly to his blanket and you can just tell he’s had a nightmare

You’ll go over to pick him up and comfort him, bringing him with you as Gareth gets up to take care of any monsters under the bed or scary clowns in the closet

He’s even got a special trick to make his kids feel better about nightmares

When he was younger his mom used to spray a ‘good dreams potion’ all over his room to get rid of any monsters in his room or nightmares stuck on his pillow

And he does the same thing for your kids

(Though it’s really just some old body spray you haven’t used since middle school)

He’ll even hold your son and run around his room, making him spray every spot Gareth points out just to get him in a better mood before bringing him back into your bedroom

You’ll make some room for him in between you two and stay up until he’s asleep, and once again you’ll fall fast asleep with each other

[hot-mess-choices]

An ongoing RANT – REVIEW – REWRITE of Surrender

CHAPTER 1

NSFW warning, might contain traces of bitter sarcasm

Let’s start with something positive. Surrender begins with a pop up that warns you about the story’s content and gives you the option to exit immediately. I click on ‘Exit Story’, my nightmare is over, I’m free…

Nah, we’re doing this hop on :D

The first cardinal sin of this book is that it only let’s you play as a female MC. If the story doesn’t require a female lead, there should be the option to play as a man. I know that that means more coding, more art, more dialog variation to work on, but isn’t it really a pathetic display of how lazy and half assed these releases are from a company that preaches inclusivity but doesn’t actually want to practice it.

We start out with MC remembering flashes of the night she caught her partner cheating on her with a Dominatrix and she comes to in her lawyer’s office building, about to have her first consultation regarding her divorce. After a quick exchange with their assistant, that hypes the LI up to be the best divorce lawyer in town, they show up. The lawyer is gender customisable, good, but from my experience with Pixelberry that means “written to be a man, but we had to make a female option after that sensitivity meeting, we all had to go through”. I’ll be using he/him pronouns because it says so in my screen shots.

Anyways, he shows up and MC is instantly attracted to him, but she has at least one braincell functioning:

Good instincts, Blank Slate Ransic, good instincts.

They move to the office, where the Lawyer offers MC Champagne to toast to this new chapter in her life. I’m not familiar with divorce consultations, but I find alcohol before any type of professional engagement questionable. After I can get behind, it’s to celebrate whatever business was dealt with, but before anything happened, idk, kinda shady.

We also learn that MC’s spouse has been making rounds. They basically consulted as many lawyers as possible to prohibit them from representing MC in the divorce, as that would go against attorney-client privilege. So basically, MC is out of options and dependent on this office to represent her, putting her in a very vulnerable position. It’s “deal with whatever we throw at you, or you won’t get good representation in court”. Fun.

Once in the office, the lawyer asks MC why she’s filing for divorce, she reaches into her purse and gifts me the absolute funniest screenshot I have ever saved to my phone:

Now we get the full flashback of the night MC comes home to her cheating spouse, who apparently isn’t only unfaithful, but also incredibly dumb. A BDSM session takes time and you do that in your own home, where your spouse could walk in at any given time? Plain stupid.

The MC walks in, is clearly shocked and their partner/the sub reacts equally shocked to see her. The Domme reacts like this:

Wow. Way to read a room, Lady.

🚩RED FLAG TIME: How to deal with an interrupted scene.

A good dominant is observant and aware of their sub’s needs and feelings and acts responsible and respectful towards them. Also, a dominant should generally be informed about how their sub is situated. BDSM only works with trust and there’s no trust without honesty. Cheating is frowned upon. If your partner doesn’t meet your needs, talk about opening the relationship up or end it. So, the Domme either knew about the infidelity and acted intentionally insensitive here, eww, or she didn’t know, decided in a split second she didn’t care and opted to continue the scene rather than take the feelings of her sub or their spouse into consideration, also eww. Neither is really ethical behaviour if you ask me.

How do we avoid this? Scenario 1 where she knows, turn the dialog into “Fuck, I knew this was gonna happen…” or a rueful “I take it you’re the wife…” or even just “Shit…”

Scenario 2 “You’re married?! What the fuck?!”

Overwhelmed, rightfully upset and weirdly aroused MC leaves the apartment and welcomes us back to the present with this gem:

At this point I am in tears because I imagine what a normal lawyer would have just witnessed. You asked your client why they want to divorce their spouse; they whip out a pair of handcuffs, space out for a hot minute and come back with an “I think these speak for themselves”. Handcuffs, the reason for your divorce indeed. I can’t breathe, help, why is this so funny?

MC voices how upsetting she found all this and well:

Listen, I get that you profit off of people’s relationships failing and all that, but how about we aren’t quite so unapologetically gleeful Mr Smarmy Dick Butt, huh?

Mr Smarmy proceeds to give out TMI when he tells MC that he doesn’t do committed relationships and how it’s so much more fun when things are kept casual. Thanks, that’s what I want to hear in a professional counselling setting.

He has drawn up a contract and MC signs on, saying that she’s either ready for “bigger and better things” or “anything he has to offer”. This apparently warrants a sharp inhale from Smarmy and he tells MC that she should be carful about saying stuff like that. She really shouldn’t have to, you creep. Keep your mind out of the gutter at work, how about that.

Attention is drawn back towards the marriage-ending handcuffs and Smarmy Dick heavily hints that he’s into kink. MC reacts startled and he offers to demonstrate their “various” uses. Sir, they’re handcuffs, the name pretty much says it, they’re not exactly the multi tool you make them out to be. Anyways, after all this he says that he won’t do anything unless MC explicitly asks for it. (This will soon be revealed to have been a blatant lie, but be patient.)

In our first diamond scene Blank Slate bravely asks Smarmy Dick to show her more.

Something good to mention here is that Smarmy Dick tells MC that she isn’t quite ready for anything and he tells her that “…in the world of BDSM, what you say – what you consent to – is everything.”

MC is nervous and horny and doesn’t really have an answer to that. How could she? She has no clue what being restrained brings with it and that’s a problem. Smarmy doesn’t really help here, telling MC that this means that her husband explicitly consented to everything the Domme did and looming in a standing position over her sitting in a chair.

🚩RED FLAG TIME: Consent, how it can and can’t be given and why you don’t restrain without a safe word.

Consent is the single most important thing in any type of sexual interaction and should always be enthusiastic and informed. MC, though curious, is hesitant and uninformed and the lawyer, who claims to be an experienced Dom, should recognise this. Even if MC tells him to cuff her, he should at first inform her, that restraints immediately put you at someone else’s mercy, it’s giving up your control in its rawest, most visible form and while that can be immensely stimulating to some, you need to know about this before any restraint is set in place.

Also, you never restrain without a safe word. Never. As I said, being restrained can be stimulating but also really fucking overwhelming. A sub can feel helpless and trapped when restrained and having your safe word is crucial for feeling safe in this situation. It guarantees a way out if all gets too much and you need that.

The game gives you the option to not be cuffed, good, in that case, the lawyer demonstrates by cuffing himself to his desk, not really an accurate demo, because he also has the key. If MC is cuffed, the lawyer runs a finger down her face and while she admits to feeling excited and curious, she also feels like she’s in way over her head. While they talk about MC’s unfaithful ex, the lawyer strokes her shoulder and then flat out admits that he’s a Dom.

But don’t worry, dear reader, he’s not in it to hurt you, he’s just a controlling prick with some serious boundary issues and a tough case of the over-sharesies.

He finally uncuffs MC and tells her that her interest in BDSM is more common than she might think, true. I like the framing here, where he tells her that he doesn’t just make it sound ordinary, it actually is and if she’s interested, she’ll just have to go for it.

The conversation abruptly shifts back to business and he gives her a to do list to prepare the case against her husband. But oh boy, does this man have an inability to keep it in his pants. He needs MC to do “whatever he says, whenever he says it” and sends her of with “Don’t make me punish you for disobeying.”

I am disgusted, appalled, my blood is boiling!

🚩RED FLAG TIME: Punishments, why they’re dealt out and when is it abuse.

Everyone who has ever remotely heard about BDSM is familiar with punishments, but only if you go further do you understand why they are a part of a D/s dynamic. To quote my first play partner: “90 percent of BDSM happens in your head.” And I agree. A dynamic is about giving up and taking control, it’s about trust and respect and discipline. You experience your limits, what it means to completely let go or the rush of being solely responsible for someone else’s pleasure. So why punish someone? Well, while each involved party in a dynamic has their boundaries, they also agree to certain rules under which they play together and rules are allowed to be enforced. Good behaviour is rewarded, bad one gets punished.

If a Dom tells their sub not to speak unless spoken to and the sub disobeys, the Dom is allowed to enforce his rule by dealing out a punishment. If that ever were to get too harsh the sub has their safe word in place. Punishment varies and needs to be individual for every sub. A sub who enjoys to be spanked and provokes punishment, is better punished by being ignored, you get the gist.

Punishment should only be given for something that happened within thy dynamic and during play. If you and your partner practise BDSM and as soon as you hit the bedroom you start to whip them for not doing the dishes, well you’re not a Dom, you’re abusing your position of power in your sexual relationship. Even in a 24/7 relationship, there needs to be a good understanding of what a punishable offense is and what isn’t. Communication is key, terms are up for renegotiation at any given time, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Your safety, comfort and boundaries should always trump your desire to please your partner.

The lawyer is not only threatening punishment to someone who isn’t his sub, he also threatens to give it out for something that is in no way, shape or form related to a D/s dynamic. That’s a huge red flag. If someone ever does that, run.

Back to the story: We skip a few days ahead and learn that MC is currently living in a hotel. We also learn that her spouse wasn’t only a cheater and an idiot, but also financially abusive and degrading.

MC hasn’t worked in the eight years she’s been married and is now beginning, not an entry level job, no, but an internship. An internship doesn’t come with job security, especially if you intern for a temporary political campaign.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. MC’s life is a mess right now. She is emotionally and financially vulnerable and needs to find her footing in life before she even thinks about exploring BDSM.

Anyways, MC gets to pick a girlboss power outfit for her first day and meets Emerson, resident office jerk and your instant bestie Malorie, who also suffers from the over-sharesies.

I swear Pat, Emerson and maybe the Domme if she’s reoccurring will be portrayed as complete and utter assholes just to make Smarmy Dick Butt less appalling in comparison. I can sense it.

We end this first chapter with a text message from our lawyer and then switch perspective over to him and well…

🚩RED FLAG TIME: Unsolicited explicit messages and the ethics of attorney-client relationships.

I’ve been in enough online kink spaces to know that one unwritten rule is, that you don’t start off with explicit messages. It’s considered predatory.

A predator outs themselves by pushing or ignoring boundaries, because they’re only interested in what they can TAKE. They are aware that their behaviour is wrong, which is why they prey on vulnerable people who either don’t know better or are in a way dependent on them.

Excuse me, if I fail to see any romance or kinky fun in this.

Not only that, but most States strictly prohibit any sort of attorney-client relationship. So our lawyer LI doesn’t only act unethical but also unlawful. I get that “forbidden romance” is sexy, I really do, but this article explains pretty well, why this scenario is such a problem.

To quote: “In an attorney-client relationship, the lawyer holds the highest power of trust. It is an “unequal” relationship, […] the law views a lawyer’s engagement with a client as an abuse of trust and power.”

Taking this in the context of a BDSM dynamic sets all my alarm bells off.

I’m sorry I’m leaving on such a grim note, but I hope you understand why I’m so upset about this.

Until chapter 2, and don’t forget: If you see a pair of handcuffs, end your marriage immediately. They speak for themselves.

[evilkitten3]

well not having scars makes sense given the tech frieza's lot had, but to be fair him having scars also makes sense bc frieza is a dick

anyway here are some of my hcs (some nsfw-ish):

-used to like reading when he was really really little (before he was four-era little), and has an extremely vague memory of reading a book about the super saiyan to tarble when tarble was in his lil baby goo pod, but never really got back into it as an adult

-if the entirety of frieza's army was resurrected, they'd be surprised that he'd swapped sides and stopped doing war crimes, but they'd be significantly more surprised that he has a wife ("vegeta got married???? to a woman????? does he know she's a woman?????? i thought he was allergic to those or something" "i thought he was allergic to everyone honestly)

-still thinks flirting and sexy-times stuff is gross/vulgar, even if he now participates sometimes. genuinely dislikes bulma's "surprise attacks" but tolerates them bc he knows she likes it

-has never said "i love you" to anyone (bulma hasn't ever said it to him either - there's no deep message or anything, it's just not their style)

-honestly has no beef with yamcha whatsoever. does think it's funny he was killed by a saibaman tho

-no concept of human/earthling sexualities nor any interest in learning/remembering them. anytime someone brings up a human/earthling gender/identity, he has know idea which one is which. saiyan culture didn't deal with that at all bc all saiyans cared about was fighting, and the frieza force didn't give a shit bc everyone was a different species anyway

-absolutely will not sleep in the same room as bulma. he doesn't always have nightmares, but he knows for a fact that he's lashed out in his sleep in the past, and if he did that in the same bed as bulma he would turn her into paste. she doesn't love that, but she agrees that she's a lot prettier in non-paste form

-back in his pto days, he shared a room with nappa and raditz (whenever they were on their main assigned base, which admittedly wasn't too often). the room was initially just for him and nappa, since they didn't find raditz until later, so there were only two beds. nappa was too big for his and the frame got pretty screwed up pretty quickly, so nappa eventually just kinda became able to sleep on whatever. vegeta initially refused to share with raditz once they found him and made him sleep on the floor, before eventually realizing that A) sleeping on the floor tended to make raditz even less effective, and B) it's actually a lot warmer to be sharing with someone

-raditz is how he knows that he sleep-attacks sometimes

-more of a general saiyan hc, but saiyans can eat just about anything, and digest most of whatever they eat, so there's a part of vegeta that finds cooking wasteful and bulma actually had to explain to him that humans actually get more nutrients from cooked food. it also tastes better, which isn't really a priority for him, but since bulma can afford to buy him as much as he needs, he'll gladly take the tastiness as a bonus. sometimes kinda forgets about that and just eats things raw tho (hey at least he doesn't eat people. anymore)

-will never admit it, but he's actually even worse at keeping track of time than goku is (he grew up flying around various systems in space; man has zero internal clock whatsoever). it doesn't really end up affecting him much tho bc bulma has an intercom system to yell at him if he goes too long without eating or sleeping

-absolute shit long-term memory in general but hides it well. doesn't remember most of his childhood/teenage years thanks to a mix of head trauma and repression, and a lot of what he does remember kinda blurs together. really really bad with names, but actually pretty ok with faces usually

-never went after yajirobe post-revival bc he genuinely can't remember who cut off his tail and is too embarrassed to admit it

-bottom

Vegeta headcanons I've seen and love:

- darker skin, kinda mid tone brown

- puffy hair

- angry but loving

- constantly bluffing

- pointy ears

- sharp teeth (top canines and matching on the bottom)

I'll lyk when I get more I can't wait

[punkrockmads]

Found Family

Abby Anderson x F! Reader Mini Series

FINAL CHAPTER

Song Used: Dear One, Mary Lambert

Chapter Fourteen; Dear One

*TWO YEARS OLD*

"I look ridiculous." I groan, adjusting the pale blue dress Kayla had helped me fix up a few weeks ago.

"You look beautiful." Kayla assures, running her hands down the lacy sides to smooth them out. I look at myself in the mirror. I have to admit, the dress is very beautiful. A beautiful ruffled skirt and rose patterned lace sides and metal buttons along the back, all a soft periwinkle color. I even let Kayla put a small braid in my hair on the right side, tucking it as well as the rest of my hair behind my ear. Kayla stands beside me, pulling me into a hug. "This dress really suits you." She says.

"I never thought I'd be getting married." I say with a nervous laugh. "I didn't think weddings were still a thing after the outbreak."

"Yet here you are." Kayla smiles. "You're about to marry the love of your life." I smile, feeling my hands shake.

"I'm nervous. Why am I nervous?!" I laugh. "I shouldn't be nervous!"

"Awww!" Kayla chuckles. "You're just excited! It's adorable!" She fixes her hair, loose strands of red falling out of her ponytail. The pink sundress she wears is the same style as the small white one she found for Evangeline.

"I can't wait to see Abby." I sigh, hugging Kayla. "Thank you for everything. You've planned an amazing wedding, Kayla."

"I'm your best friend!" Kayla smiles. "It's my job!" A knock at the office door pulls our attention toward it. Lev stands there wearing the same suit he wore when Evangeline was born. Kayla fixed it up so it would fit him better, seeing as it was too long in the first place.

"Y/N!" Lev smiles, running up and hugging me. "I'm here to walk you down the aisle!"

"Oh God it's already time?!" I feel my heart race in my chest, reaching into my pocket for the yellow paper I had written my vows on months ago. "Okay okay. Let me just go over these one more time."

"Nope!" Lev links his left arm with my right. "We're going now!" I turn around to look at Kayla. She gives me a warm smile, grabbing a bouquet Evangeline had helped her make.

"I'll see you out there!" Kayla whispers, hugging me tightly before walking out the door and around the corner.

"Lev." I mumble, staring straight ahead as I slowly walk with him out the door. "I'm terrified."

"Don't be." Lev says, squeezing my hand. "Remember, it's about you and Abby. Everyone who's here is here because they love you guys. They support you. You and Abby are the only people that matter right now, so just pretend it's only the two of you in this church."

"You're right." I nod, taking a deep breath. The music gets louder as we walk closer to the doors of the main room. She Keeps Me Warm by Mary Lambert. A song Abby and I have slow danced to a million times. "Thank you, Lev."

"You're welcome." Lev says as we stop right before the doors. "Ready?" I nod again, pushing the doors open and walking in with Lev. The flower petals Evangeline had thrown earlier litter the dark wooden floor. All of our friends and neighbors turn to watch. I can feel their stares, but the only stare that matters to me in this moment is Abby's. Her eyes are locked on mine, a huge smile on her face. I feel myself tear up, seeing how beautiful she looks. She decided to wear a suit that matches Lev's. It fits her perfectly, making her look like as incredible as a marble statue. A tear falls down my cheek as Lev lets go of my arm, standing me right in front of Abby. I take her hands in mine.

"You look beautiful." Abby whispers, tears sparkling in her eyes.

"You should see yourself." I whisper back, laughing quietly.

"Mommy!" A familiar squeaky voice calls from the front row. Evangeline wriggles her way out of the arms of Kayla's little sister, running towards me as the crowd laughs. I bend down and open my arms for her as she runs into them. I lift her up, holding her close as Abby and I pepper her face with kisses. "Can I stay?" Evangeline asks, wanting to stay close by her moms.

"Yes you can." I nod, smiling as I set her down by my feet. She sits cross legged beside me, watching as Abby and I listen to Kayla's mother, Eileen, speak a bit about the two of us. I can't tear my eyes away from Abby's, feeling so safe and at home here with her. The whole world seems to disappear when I look at her. I don't even notice Eileen say it's time for vows until Abby lets go of my hands, pulling a piece of notebook paper out of her pocket.

"Okay." Abby sighs, her hands shaking. "Y/N..." She looks at me with so much love and joy. "When we first met, you were floating down a river trying to figure out how the hell you were going to survive. And when I saved you, you threatened me. Even though you had no weapons and you looked like a half-dead drowned rat." Abby and I laugh at the memory. "That's when I realized 'Oh fuck, I'm falling in love!' Then you trusted me, you came home with me and let me give you safety and food and comfort. It kinda felt like bring a wild animal into my home for the first time."

Abby's chuckle is cut off by a sniffle. "When you woke up screaming one night after a nightmare and asked me to stay with you, I knew I wanted to protect you and do anything I possibly could to make you happy and give you the life you deserve just like you've done for me. You've been through so much and you're still the strongest woman I've ever known. You gave me your heart. You've shown me a love I never thought I deserved until I met you. Fuck, you even gave me my own family! I wanna spend the rest of my life loving you and treasuring every single moment I have with you and our family. I love you so much." Abby wipes her tears away as I reach into my pocket for my vows.

I wipe my own tears away as I look at my writing. "Well." I pause, chuckling a bit. "I mean how the hell am I gonna top that?" The guests and Abby laugh at me as I take a deep breath. "I'm not great with words or romance... or people, really. But, when I met you, I felt this comfort and love I had never felt before and it made me want to try to love people again. When I told you about my past, you didn't judge me. You supported me every step of the way and stepped in to raise Evangeline as our baby. You are my angel. You are my savior. I..." I sniffle, wiping away more tears. "I should probably get to the vows before I start sobbing." I laugh. "Abby and I fell in love with Mary Lambert's music after I forced her to listen to it with me and... one of her songs has always stuck with me and made me think of her. So... Abby, I'm gonna use it as my vows to you, if that's okay." Abby laughs quietly, nodding and urging me to continue.

I take a deep breath. "Where did you come from, bright star? What heaven did you leap from, dear love? How can I say your name without the sound of Autumn underneath my tongue? Without acknowledging the lovers who bent me in half? Bless them for bringing me to you. How can I say your name without also breathing the words 'My God, I found you!'" I pause, taking a deep breath as I feel tears pour down my cheeks. "How can I ever speak again with this mouth when it has found where it belongs? When you touch me, I am a bed of calla lillies. I will make a house for you and fill it with evergreens. I will paint sunsets on every wall so you can only see beautiful things." Abby watches me, sobbing quietly as her smile grows even bigger.

"How can I say 'love' without wanting to fold myself into you like a thousand paper cranes. Dear one, I was halved the moment I was born. The other piece of me is inside of your mouth. And I was found whole the moment you spoke." Every single eye in the room is teary, Abby full on sobbing as I pull her in for a tight hug. She hugs back, whispering 'I love you' over and over into my hair as she holds me in her arms.

"That was absolutely beautiful." Eileen says to us, wiping a few of her own tears away. "Now. If there are no objections, let's continue. Abigail, do you take Y/N to be your wife, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

Abby pulls away, locking eyes with me as she squeezes my hands. "I do." She nods, smiling at me. Her eyes shimmer, full of pure love.

"And Y/N..." Eileen pauses. "Do you take Abigail to be your wife, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

"Damn right, I do!" I grin, squeezing Abby's hands as I nod at her.

"By the power vested in me. I now pronounce you, Mrs. And Mrs. Anderson. You may kiss." I waste no time grabbing Abby by her shirt collar and pulling her in for a long, passionate kiss. She immediately kisses back, her arms wrapping around me as the guests cheer. We pull away once our lungs are screaming for air, pressing our foreheads together.

"Holy shit." I whisper, chuckling with Abby as I look into her beautiful hazel eyes.

"Holy shit." Abby repeats, laughing harder. "I love you so fucking much."

"I love you too." I reply, kissing her once more. We pull away in surprise when Lev yells.

"Party time!!" Lev cheers, waving his hands in the air. He runs towards us, wrapping his arms around both of us as I pick up a giggling Evangeline. Kayla follows close behind.

"Group hug!!" Kayla yells, squeezing us. I wrap an arm around Abby, resting my forehead against hers once more.

"I love you guys so much." I smile, finding comfort in the arms of my loved ones. Abby gently puts a hand on the back of my neck, gently guiding me up for one more kiss. I let my eyes fall shut.

"We finally made that last name official." Abby smiles against my lips once we pull away.

"Yeah." I hum. "We finally did."

END

[chrisevansszn]

Valleys and Mountains Pt 5🏔

Final Chapter

1.7k

18 and up only ‼

“I want a fucking divorce!!”

“I’m not giving you shit.”

“Why??? So, you can have your cake and eat it too? Who do you think you are??”

“I want my fucking marriage and wife back. Is that so hard? Yes, I’ve been talking to Cree but its because you’ve been ignoring me.”

“You narcissistic fucker you!”

He shakes his head.

“You know what! Your right! I have been fucking Jason to get back at you. You don’t deserve me!”

What the fuck are you thinking!

Chris swings in your direction but punches a hole through the wall. You are completely frozen in fear. He steps back and looks at his hand. There is blood coming from his knuckles. He grabs a kitchen towel, runs the kitchen sink to wet it and wraps it around his hand. He walks out of the kitchen and up the stairs without making a sound or eye contact with you.

You bent over finally catching your breath as tears run down your face. You didn’t move for about 15 minutes, stuck in that one spot. You finally looked back at the wall to see the damage. A perfect hole all the way through. You grabbed a paper towel and wiped your face as you headed to your room. You went straight to your closet to grab your suitcase to pack up some clothes. A night or two at a hotel is a must right now. There is no way you are staying here! You haphazardly throw clothes and shoes into your suitcase. You heard footsteps behind you and slowly turned around. Chris was standing there.

The silence in the room was excruciating.

“I’m going to a hotel.”

“I will go if you want me to.”

You swallowed.

“No, I don’t want to be here.”

You stood up to walk past Chris, he grabbed your arm as you walked past. You turned and looked at him.

“Y/N, I’m sorry for everything. I really am.”

You pulled your arm away and continued to your bathroom to get more stuff. Chris followed.

“Are you invited Jason to your hotel?”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing! Fucking men!

“YOU HAVE A LOT OF FUCKING NERVE CHRISTOPHER! MEN WILL CHEAT AND FUCK UP THEIR MARRIAGE BUT THE MOMENT A WOMEN GETS EVEN THEY CAN’T HANDLE IT!”

“I can’t handle it!  The thought makes me so fucking sick!”

You rolled your eyes, grabbed your shit, and finished packing. You headed out the door with Chris on you heels. He didn’t say or do anything. He watched as you put your shit in the car and drive away. You went to an Omni hotel and booked for a couple of nights. You texted your boss saying you needed a couple of days off for personal reasons. Your hotel room was all you were going to see for the next two days.

Chris called but you let it go to voicemail, begging for forgiveness, and do go to marriage counseling. You didn’t reply back. The next two days you laid in bed, rarely ate anything, and had room service to bring you bottle after bottle. You slept and drank the days away.

Day two came and it was time for check out. You headed back home as it rained cats and dogs outside. You pulled into the driveway. Chris’ truck was parked. You took a deep breath and walked into the house.  Chris was sitting at the dining room table, he looked God awful. You can tell he hasn’t been sleeping. You paused and stared at each other.  

“Y/N.”

You waited.

“Yes.”

“I am so sorry about everything. Can we go to marriage counseling?”

Marriage counseling isn’t such a bad idea. This can only go two ways…the marriage heals, or the marriage ends. Do you even want to be married anymore?

“Sure. Set it up.”  You walked off. You had a lot to consider, you and Chris both did dirt maybe you can really patch things up and move forward.

The day has come, your first counseling session. Chris found a young lady who was well qualified. You did the whole introduction thing. You thought maybe this would do some good but let me remind everyone of what Christopher said.

“Chris & Y/N, thank you for coming in today. This is a place where you can express exactly how you feel. Now, who wants to go first?”

“I will.”, Chris said. “I think a divorce is the best option.”

You turned your head so quickly.  You couldn’t believe what this asshole just said.

“Wait Chris isn’t there another option here. I thought you wanted to save your marriage?”, the counselor said.

You didn’t say anything.

“I’ve been thinking, about everything. Both of us stepping out on our marriage, Y/N disappearing for a couple of days, and our fight.”

“I only slept with Jason to get back at you.”, you snapped.

“Don’t ever say his name in front of me again.”

“Or what? You started this whole mess!”

“Please now I need both of you to settle down. We have to have civil conversation here.”

You got up and walked off. You needed a minute. After all this man has put you though, he thinks he can initiate the divorce?? The doctors retrieve you from the hallway, and you go back inside. Chris hadn’t moved a muscle. You and Chris go back and forth, its literally the blame game.

Thank God you both took separate cars! This first session was a nightmare. What had gotten into Chris?

You made it home before Chris. He actually didn’t walk through the door until later. You sat on the couch waiting for him. A real conversation was needed.

Chris finally walked through the door.

“Chris.”

“What is it?”

“What was that shit today? You beg me to go to counseling and then you start off by saying you want a divorce? What do you want to do?”

He rolled his eyes. The fucking audacity.

“I’ve had time to think. I am sick of begging you to make this marriage work. I’ve done nothing but BEG you.”

“So, you want a divorce? Tell me now because I am not wasting my time going to counseling with you.”

He sat up and put it hands on his hips. You hated that shit.

“Yes, I want a divorce. I want to be with Cree.” He looked at the ground as he said those words.

“EXCUSE ME? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?”

“You heard me.”

You completely lost it.

“FUCK YOU CHRIS! I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS!

You went and pushed him on his face!

“Y/N, don’t do that shit!”

Chris gave you a slight push to put space between you two.

“Get out now…”

“I pay the damn mortgage on this home!”

“PACK YOUR SHIT AND GET THE FUCK OUT!”

Chris gives you a look. He walks past you and heads to the bedroom. You leaned back against the nearest wall. You had to take some deep breaths. You walked over to the couch and sat. You could hear Chris slamming the dresser as he packed up. Not a tear fell down your face this time, you just wanted him gone.

About 10 minutes later Chris walks by with a suitcase, grabbed his keys, his wallet, and walked out the door. You grabbed your MacBook and sat back on the couch with a glass of wine and begin searching for divorce lawyers.

You didn’t want to tell anyone what was going on yet. You were too embarrassed. After searching, you found lawyer and decided to call in the morning. You didn’t get any sleep that night per the usual. You headed to work the next day and called the lawyer to set up a meeting to get the ball rolling.

A week went by and you and Chris haven’t communicated not once. Jason was texting, but you weren’t responding at all.  The meeting with the lawyer was productive, she got all the paperwork together for you to get Chris to sign.

A few days later, you heard the door unlocking as you ate dinner in the kitchen while working. Chris walked in. He looked at you and you looked right back at your screen.

He walked over.

“I got the documents today from your lawyer.”

You looked up.

“Let’s talk about this.”

“There is nothing to discuss, sign the papers. If you want the house, then buy me out, if not…it goes on the market.”

You stood up to take your plate to the sink. Chris follows behind.

“I’m not ready to let you go.” He steps a little closer.

“This marriage is over.”

“Please Y/N.”

Chris leans in and kisses you softly on your lips, it caught you off guard.

“Absolutely not. Don’t ever kiss me again.”

“I’m your husband.”

“Does your new girlfriend know that you are here? I wonder how she would feel knowing you are making a move on your ex-wife?”

“Don’t say that.”

“Like I said, sign the divorce papers so I can move on.”

“Whatever. My lawyer will be in contact with yours.”

Chris walked away to the bedroom to get more clothes and such. He comes back out 20 minutes later.

“You’re already packing up shit?”

“Yes. When you sign, I’m out.”

He said something under his breath and headed out the door with his stuff. A couple of days later your lawyer called and said Chris accepted the terms.

A few weeks later you and Chris sat down with your lawyers to sign the divorce papers. As you both walked out, you noticed a young girl sitting outside the room. You finished up the conversation with your lawyer and headed out. You walked by and the young girl smirked at you. It had to be Cree. You stopped.

“Did you just smirk at me?” You wanted all the smoke.

“I’m just glad this is all finalized.”

“You must be Cree the whore. Well, best of luck to you.”

You turned to Chris.

“Did you tell Cree about you kissing me a few weeks ago when you came to get more stuff?” You faced Cree. “Don’t worry sweetie. I stopped him, but just know he was ready to risk it all.”

You turned and headed down the hall, and into your new single life!

Hope you all enjoyed this series! 💛

@whxre4cevans

@supernatural-fan151

@fallenoutofrose

@itscrazycherryblossomcollection

@coldmuffinpartycloud

@art-estrange

@coffeebooksandfandom

@arabescapr

@firoozehmoon

@mssukeyna

@tantricevans

@marvelfansworld

@pmb1976

@marvelsis

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hey slug, thanks for the hard work you and your team do for the fandom!! me and some friends were discussing this and i thought it would be nice to see ur answer to this (only if it doesn't bother u, of course!!): what characters do you think parents would give a big thumbs up if you introduced them as your partner (in terms of personality and traits)? I personally think Hifumi or Ichiro would be the best son-in-law...

What an entertaining question. Believe it or not, I’ve given the matter some thought before for reasons entirely unrelated to this, so presenting: Hypnosis Microphone Men and Whether or Not You Should Bring Them Home to Your Parents.

Since there’s a wide age range among the cast members, assume that the “you” in question is roughly each character’s age.

Ichirou: Absolutely. This man is objectively a dream boat. Runs his own successful business? Check. Respectful to people of all ages? Check. Cooks? Check. Cleans? Check. Good with kids? Check. Take Ichirou and marry him before your parents marry him themselves.

Jirou: As far as high school boyfriends go, Jirou’s not a bad choice. He’s a sweetheart, popular, plays music. Doesn’t do drugs in the school bathroom. Could have better grades, but hey, you can’t win them all. He seems like he’d have you home by 8 pm. You know what? Sure. Why not? You could do worse.

Saburou: Saburou is the kind of middle school boyfriend that your parents openly like and privately dislike. What I mean is that he’s very polite to most elders and super smart, so he’s the kind of kid who is entirely unobjectionable, but he’s also the kind of kid who would try to mansplain your parents’ jobs to them. Worst of all, he would be entirely correct in what he’s saying. Your parents probably want to punch him, but they don’t because assaulting children is illegal, not to mention immoral. They will breathe a collective sigh of relief when he finally breaks up with you so he can focus on studying for the Science Bowl nationals.

Samatoki: I am so torn on this one. On the one hand, he’s every parent’s worst nightmare. He smokes indoors, has an awful temper, and is a fucking gangster, for pete’s sake. Yet he can also be a sweetheart who cooks for you and does everything to treat you right. I’m really stumped. Probably the best solution, if you’re really wanting to get in on that Aohitsugi ass, is to cut out the middle man and date Nemu instead. She is perfect in every way, so your parents will love her.

Juuto: If your parents watch Antiques Roadshow, then he will have a lot to bond with them about. Otherwise I think he’d be that kind of person who tells stories about himself way too loudly at family dinners, and after he leaves, one of your parents pulls you aside to say, “Your boyfriend’s really kind of an asshole, don’t you think?” I guess date him if you’re okay with your parents thinking you have cruddy taste.

Riou: I feel like the hard part here is luring him out of the woods and into a family dinner, but from there, it should go great. He’s over 6 feet tall. He can cook well. He has a strong sense of purpose and knows what he wants to do in life. Most importantly, he has a wonderful heart AND every survival skill known to man. He will change the oil in your parents’ car, fix the leaky pipe you’ve been meaning to get around to for six months now, clean the hood above the stove, and then swap recipes and heartfelt compliments with whichever parent does the cooking. Who cares if he doesn’t have a stable income? You don’t need that with guns like those. (insert flexing Riou image here)

Ramuda: I’m trying to think about the concept of a) dating Ramuda and b) introducing him to a set of parents, and I’m drawing an utter blank. There is nothing but “???” in my mind. I’m going to hazard a guess that this one would be a terrible idea.

Gentarou: Wow, your parents had no idea you were dating a prince of a tiny little kingdom in the Mediterranean AND a Harvard law graduate AND the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize AND the man who discovered a cure for cancer in an expedition deep into the heart of the Amazon rain forest. Look at you! What a catch. Only attempt this if your parents are gullible.

Dice: As much as I love Dice to death, this one is a no. Your parents do not want you dating a homeless man with a gambling addiction and bad table manners. Plus, the MIL here seems hard to get along with. Nuh-uh.

Jakurai: Absolutely. You’re in your 30s, so your parents are at least middle-aged. Probably they have some joint problems or some back pain. Jakurai can let them kiss that pain goodbye, and in return, they can let him kiss you! A win-win. He also boasts a handsome salary, has a lovely house, and seems like he’d be super respectful in a relationship. Yes. Go. Marry him.

Hifumi: If you’re a girl, you’re probably going to have to sit this round out. If you’re a guy or nonbinary... yeah, you’re probably going to have to sit this round out too. See, if you have a mom, how is Hifumi supposed to meet her? I guess you could... idk... stick a lampshade on her head and expect him not to notice. That could potentially work, but it’d raise a few awkward questions. If you do happen to live in a female-free household, though, you’ve hit upon the golden opportunity to make this man yours. You can replace every instance of the word “wife” in Judy Brady Syfer’s famous essay “I Want a Wife” with the word “Hifumi” and still have it make perfect sense, and it shows.

Doppo: I can’t in good conscience recommend this one. Sure, he’s hardworking and certainly polite enough, but does he have the time to respond to your emotional needs? Hell, does he have the time to respond to his own? If you invited him to family dinner, there’s a good chance that he’d need to work overtime and miss it. He’d apologize and buy you flowers to make up for it, but you know he’d also be worrying about the cost of those flowers, so... is it really worth it?

Kuukou: For some reason, my parents actually like Kuukou (although I think he’s also the only character they know besides Ichijiku), but I don’t think this would hold true for most parents. He sounds good on paper, but he’d probably make a disparaging comment about someone’s ass in the first five minutes. Perhaps if you tape his mouth shut and tell your parents he’s doing a vow of silence, then yes.

Juushi: As far as high school (is he still in high school?) boyfriends go, Juushi’s not that bad either. He’s shy but sweet. Respectful. In a band, but the kind that makes money and doesn’t operate out of someone’s garage. Yeah, you know what? Go for it. You could do worse. Just scroll up on this list if you need proof of that.

Hitoya: Yeah, absolutely. Hitoya has a great career and a fantastic attitude. He doesn’t take shit from anyone but can still be polite in the correct contexts. He also seems like the type who would get into a serious relationship and treat his partner right. Fuck it up. I support your love.

Sasara: Yes. He has the exact type of humor favored by parents of the father variety. Plus, he’s a famous comedian. There is good money to be had right there.

Roshou: Absolutely. Rather shy but very talented, hardworking teacher who obviously puts his heart and soul into his job? Of course. As long as he doesn’t death glare your parents, it will work out fantastically. Plus, he can talk about sports! That’s a thing that parents like, right?

Rei: Absolutely not. You remember last May when your parents answered a call from the IRS telling them they were about to lose all their money unless they gave the nice man on the phone their bank account password right at that very instant? He was the nice man on the phone. Why the hell would you bring this threat into your parents’ home? Look, you’re in your mid-40s. Your parents are getting up in years, and they want to see you settle down and be happy with someone. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is not it. Why are you with Rei in the first place? Is it the fur coat? Listen, you are a grown-ass adult, and you can buy yourself as many fur coats as you want. I believe in you. It doesn’t have to be this way - you deserve better.

[everysongineverykey]

alright motherfuckers! time for me to exert all my effort in order to overcome my ✨✨✨crippling dislike of talking about my more obscure interests✨✨✨ and tell you all about one of two SUBLIME webcomics i read this year that i am completely in love with! i’ll make a post about the other one later but for now, let me tell you about the beautiful, beautiful story that is author sarah jolley’s the property of hate and why everyone needs to read it! let me explain:

the property of hate is a delightful, whimsical, fantasy-type webcomic that you can read for free online or buy in book form for 25 bucks! i'll admit, i'm a teensy bit confused about the plot, but the basic gist is that a little girl is offered the chance to become a hero by a mysterious, cheerful monster that shows up in her room one night- she accepts, and the monster- a british, suited humanoid creature named RGB with a tv for a head- takes her away to a confusing, somewhat magical land of characters that have yet to find their stories, among other things. but there are as many if not more enemies as friends- fears, doubts, nightmares, given form- and the girl soon finds out that her television-headed guide's intentions may not be as simple as they first seemed. that's a shitty synopsis, but there's world-saving and gorgeous art, as well as these significant perks:

art and storylines that play beautifully with film and art techniques such as chiaroscuro (art technique concerning light and shadow), dolly zooms (type of cinematic shot intended to disorient the viewer), and many other niche words- and it does it so that it's interesting and suspenseful!!!

PAIR OF MARRIED LESBIAN MONSTER WIVES!! "but liberty," you cry, "if they're monsters, that's questionable gay rep, isn't it?" i remove you from the premises immediately. that is not a valid argument because there is exactly one (1) human in this story. stan julienne the candy monster and her music wife or perish💙

genderfluid side character!! it's only a small detail, but it's there plain as day! ("and what are we today?" "female, darling.")

precocious small poc girl protagonist who takes NO shit from anyone. she's still adorable and likable, though, and she has short hair!! that's not important to the story but we stan young female protags with short hair💙

rgb!!! rgb the tv man who initiates the journey and guides the hero on her way so that she may save this world between worlds of sorts. dapper, british, infuriating at times, and- i kid you not- CANONICALLY PANSEXUAL, he is absolutely wonderful to read, and his character development is just *chef's kiss*. i love him a lot

an absolutely showstopping found family story. rgb and the hero are the single best father-daughter duo in fiction, contemporary or classic. they get off on the wrong foot, and they get on each other's nerves a fair bit, but they're family by the end (keep in mind that to my knowledge, the comic is currently ongoing and unfinished) and there are these amazingly heartwarming scenes between them that just make my sad scared heart go dhfssgjjfhjhiggjdhfxhd

THERE'S A PRAYING MANTIS CHARACTER WHO SPEAKS ONLY IN MORSE CODE. PULL UP AN ONLINE MORSE TRANSLATOR, THEIR REMARKS ARE TOO GOOD TO BE MISSED

genius worldbuilding.... imaginative and ingenuitive characters and worlds and concepts... honestly everything's practically perfect from a storytelling standpoint and just plain fun to read

comedy

a wonderful cast of side characters,

exquisite art,

meaningful and true morals about emotional health and good versus evil (among other things),

and so! many! other! incredible! things!!

i could go on and on about this comic but the whole reason i made this post was to persuade other people to read it, so go do that! the link to the first page is here:

http://www.jolleycomics.com/TPoH/The%20Hook/1

and you can also follow the author on tumblr if you want! she's @modmad .

THANK you for reading this post. it is MUCH more structured than my normal posts and has a ton of information in it, uncommon for me and my pea brain, but i love this webcomic and hyperfixation go brrr💙 happy reading!!

[undercoverangell]

thinking about pok lives and goes on spring break au heres everything in my brain atm

Pok gets enough money working for the government to get a new house so they no longer live in an apartment and instead are in like a nice lil 2 bedroom 2 bathroom house and the bad kids come over freshman year bc riz is like "oh my dad should know something about these palimpsets i feel like he'd know about them" and he's not of much use but like. to give yall some perspective on how i imagine pok in this au he's like this goblin w huge scars covering him who is like?? kinda athletic?? and he is also still a spy and still goes on missions so when they first meet him hes in this fairly nice house in like a button up and cardigan w plaid pants and has his hair like tied back (bc i think he would grow it out) in a low ponytail drinking coffee. and they've never met Riz's dad but suddenly just everything about Riz makes sense this guy is his fucking dad?? and he works for the government as an accountant?? dude this guy is cool as hell wtf.

He's just very eloquently spoken and seems to know a lot about things accountants shouldn't care about (why did riz send us to his accountant dad to look at a palimpsest why would his dad know anything about this?) and so thus begins the convincing riz who knows what his dad does that his dad is in the mafia.

also doesnt help that they do have a thing in the gukgak household about bringing new people directly to the house bc obviously pok does have a bunch of like secret rooms and drawers in the home and so the very first thing he says around them is "Kid you know how i feel about strangers in the home" and riz just goes "yeah yeah sorry i know we can meet at Basrar's or something next time-" "okay well im assuming its an emergency or something important if you brought 5 people over that i've never even met so what's up?" and its immediately weird bc... wtf.. hi ig??

"dude like why is he so like ..... that. like?? dude hes not an accountant i know that at least." "guys my dad is just some dude who works in accounting hes not a member of the mafia" "the ball im so sorry your dad has been lying to you he is a member of the mafia. does your mom know?" "i dont know?? probably??" "poor woman..." "oh my god"

theyre all so confused as to why he is so casual not knowing that like since he was 13 riz has known his dad is a spy and does missions and stuff and everytime they see pok literally just getting a coffee they confront him immediately even if riz is there

"so mr.ball....whats in that coffee???"

"vanilla. some cream and milk."

"theres no mafia secrets????"

"no. i got it with two shots of espresso."

"....weird....."

"if you want me to buy you a coffee you can just ask like a normal person."

"i dont need your MAFIA COFFEE....."

"okay, the coffee here is really good though."

".....maybe i would like just a small coffee with two shots of vanilla."

**hands them 10 bucks** "go ahead."

obv pok cant just tell his sons friends he barely knows that hes a spy so he just continually insists that he "works for the department of foreign affairs as an accountant. i work in accounting kids. thats it." and they all get it HORRIBLY WRONG and are like "oh yeah kalvaxis rlly wanted to eat an accountant JUST SAY UR A MEMBER OF THE MAFIA AND GO KINDA SUSPICIOUS THATS UR WIFES A COP ARE U TRYING TO MANAGE THE POWER SYSTEM SO U CAN GET AWAY W UR CRIMES???" and he just straight up "....YEAH IM A MEMBER OF THE MAFIA! YEAH U GOT IT RIGHT. IM A MEMBER OF THE MAFIA." and riz finds it fucking hilarious bc as hes busting out laughing his dad is going "riz the mafia is serious business u know this idk why ur laughing about it : (" and the bad kids think theyve cracked the case!! theyve done it!! (they have not!)

pok and garthy know eachother very well bc pok has been sent on numerous missions to Leviathan and so there's like little hints as to what pok does "oh you're still working for the department of foreign affairs! you been moved out of accounting yet?" and the bad kids are like "garthy he works for the mafia. sorry we had to break it to you...." and garthy who knows for a fact pok is not in the mafia just goes "....oh?? the mafia?? that's new! i cant imagine the wife likes that very much!"

Pok and Riz have a little moment in Leviathan where they just sit and talk and Pok assures Riz that he's cool and his friends like him and that he wouldve kill to be as cool as riz is when he was his age. Riz falls asleep on Pok and his dad is just glad hes getting some rest. he also sees the tattoos and goes "if your mom asks you got those when i was asleep and i didnt know."

He absolutely hates fallinel but hes been there on so many missions he is just used to high elves and their bs. "Ah.... Pook GikGuk..." "Mhmm. you got it right buddy." While there he just constantly looks so done with just about everything bc he has seen this place so many times there is like no "ooo new place!" value in it is literally just "yep. high elves and their high elven shit." he tells riz if he ever becomes a spy (which he definitely would btw i will die on the secret agent riz hill) to just. get used to this bc he is going to have to deal with this a lot.

In the nightmare forest he finally is like "guys im not apart of the mafia im a spy. i dont work in accounting lol u think my wife would marry some fucking accountant when shes as cool as she is??" and they're like "???? but... u admitted... u were in the mafia.. why would u lie..." "im a spy i literally lie for a living also i barely knew you guys except when you would come over to our house sometimes and stare at me suspiciously while I scrolled through twitter on my laptop" "MAYBE U WERE LOOKING AT UR MAFIA MEMBERS TWITTER" "WHY ON EARTH WOULD MAFIA MEMBERS HAVE TWITTER" "I DONT KNOW?? THEY WANNA LOOK AT MEMES!"

everything for this au is under the "pok lives au" tag bc i have. so many ideas. i am more than willing to take drawing ideas for this please ask me about this au (srs)

[littlesparklight]

Headcanons for all six of the Kronides, how they are for and with each other!

Hestia with: Demeter - they always spend a couple moment of every feast/time Demeter comes to Olympos together, just the two of them, since that’s how it started. Hestia might cook for everyone else, but Demeter makes Hestia kykeon (and no one else’s will do). Hera - they sit and read, or spin, together, quite often. Hera is the only one who could convince Hestia to leave Olympos, or anyone at all behind, since Hera knows what it means to have to leave when you don’t want to. Hades - they sing together; Hestia is the only one Hades will sing aloud to and with, a holdover from the age within Kronos (even if there were two and then three more people in there with them). If Hestia asks Hades to come up to Olympos for a visit, he will. Poseidon - he turns to Hestia first, whenever he’s uncertain; it might be just a brief reflexive mental urge, or physically about to turn to her if they’re standing nearby each other, and usually never goes anywhere, but it does happen. Zeus - she sits him down sometimes and combs his hair (aside from Hestia, only Rhea and Hera have done this). Zeus came to her after chaining up Hera and saving Herakles, while she thought it might have been a bit of an overreaction, she wasn’t particularly happy with Hera using Hypnos on Zeus just to go at Herakles again, so she said nothing and just fed him some dessert.

Demeter with: Hestia - particularly cold, dark winter nights, Demeter will turn up in Hestia’s rooms and that is as much about missing Persephone as it’s a holdover fear of the dark and silence of Kronos’ insides. Demeter often keeps pet lizards, and they’ll always be named Hestia (Hestia isn’t so very charmed by that, but she tolerates it). Hera - they garden together, and they once tried to see how large they could make a single pomegranate fruit; no one else gets why they laugh like loons sometimes when catching a glance of a pomegranate together. Hades - no one else knows, but he used to come up top and just sit quietly with Demeter; they’re not quite there yet so they can resume this, but it’s getting there. Demeter still has a piece of ruby, one of the first pieces of mineral Hades called up after taking kingship of the Underworld. Poseidon - much like Zeus, he could make her laugh (he has a better sense of humour than Zeus, however). She used to like to race with him in horse shape; not so much any more. Zeus - he can make her laugh, and, contrary to everything, sit quietly enough she enjoys his company. Zeus was the only one who could get Demeter to dance, and they would wreck absolute shop together during the war.

Hera with: Hestia - the only one Hera has confessed any fear of, not the dark, confining places, to. The rare times Hera likes to bake, she does it with Hestia. Demeter - Titan war duo powerhouse after Hera joined the war later, and they still spar. They talk shit about Poseidon and Zeus together sometimes (most notably after Zeus has cheated), but they don’t touch either Hades or the situation with Persephone and Zeus involvement in that, Hera doesn’t actually understand why Demeter was so angry about it. Hades - she tells him the secrets she doesn’t share with Hestia. They hold each other back, the moments they each need it. Hades chose each and every gem set in one of Hera’s favourites necklaces himself. Poseidon - they wreck shop, both together, and against each other; in the war they were one of the more explosive but highly effective combinations. When Hera is most furious, she goes to Poseidon and they go race his chariot over the waves and talk shit about Zeus. Zeus - he lights her up; where Zeus’ sense of humour and pranks might get on other people’s nerves or seem inappropriate, Hera loves it. They can be absolutely terrifying if they’re scheming together, and they usually take a moment every morning, before Zeus goes to sit on a mountaintop somewhere for Important Reasons, to talk about things relating to the sphere (evening is for personal things).

Hades with: Hestia - he’s the only one who knows she has nightmares about Kronos escaping Tartaros, and so Hades make a point of going to the edge/the locked door and checking it every now and then, sending Hestia a letter telling her it’s still secure. Hestia makes sure Hades always gets something pastry-like with him filled with the jam of strawberry fruit whenever he’s been to Olympos. Demeter - they used to wind down during the war drinking mint tea. He tried to offer her Iasion back some time after his marriage with Persephone, Demeter refused even if she appreciated the gesture, and Hades would freely admit he’s impressed by her refusal. Hera - connected to the secrets one above, Hera is the one Hades talks about when it comes to sensitive things, like the fact he’s glad Persephone didn’t want children because, even if he might be able to have them, he’d fear something similar to the prophecies Zeus has had to deal with (he is still the eldest male, after all). Hera learned about gem stones, both from Hades and because of him, so they could talk about them together. Poseidon - they race together, very rarely. They get along better when both of them are drunk; Poseidon almost managed to get Hades to sing with him once, but Poseidon doesn’t remember and Hades is Very Thankful for that. Zeus - another powerhouse couple in the war. Zeus doesn’t lean on Hades as often as he might sometimes wish to do, which makes the moments Zeus does do so mean so much more to Hades. They exchange letters more often than Hades comes up to Olympos.

Poseidon with: Hestia - he helped her build their first hearth, as temporary as it was. Has made her a saltwater spring that feeds a little fountain in her kitchen garden, and he would never admit to it but he’s very pleased Hestia asked for it. Demeter - used to go to great lengths to come up with ways to get Demeter to laugh; he tested all of his jokes on her first, and if she didn’t laugh they were immediately discarded. (He still doesn’t use any of the ones Demeter didn’t laugh at.) Hera - they’ve cracked half a dozen schemes together, mostly as a way to let off steam. Hera, aside from Hestia, was usually the one Poseidon ended up sitting with in the dark inside Kronos, usually because, even if they’d bicker, it made him feel alive. Hades - offered to switch kingship domains with Hades, not because he didn’t want what he’d ended up with, but because he could feel a draw, despite what cosmic chance-necessity said about it. Asked Hades what his favourite gemstone among his earthly treasures were, and unfortunately laughed himself sick when Hades showed him a piece of pink rhodochrosite that’d grown so it looked like a flower. Teased him if it was about Persephone, and Hades denied it (it’s actually not). Zeus - they fight more often than they do not, but if anyone else (not him or their siblings) tried to fuck Zeus up, Poseidon would be on the war path. Thinks Zeus is a bit of a bore not fucking like he does (but hey, more for him!); Zeus thinks Poseidon should think about what he’s sticking his dick into more often.

Zeus with: Hestia - she knows a lot of Zeus’ secrets. Even if she doesn’t agree with him, he can go to her and get welcoming calm and affection. Was awfully surprised she didn’t want to marry, since that seemed like something that would suit her well, but Zeus is just as relieved as Hestia is that she made such a strongly formal vow of not marrying and tending Olympos’ hearth instead. Demeter - they have (if more rarely now, and certainly not for a good while there in the middle) fun together, which was the reason Zeus attempted to marry her, and the reason Demeter refused, and in hindsight, he agrees with her; they’re better like this. She gives him flowers, sometimes. Hera - sometimes turns into a cuckoo and comes to sit on her shoulder; when she takes him into her hands he knows she’s forgiven him. Chose the type of gems to put in the jewellery Hera wore for their wedding (Hades got them for him). She’s ruthless, and he loves it; until it’s turned onto him, that is. Hades - almost asked Hades once why he tolerated not just the tripartite rule but also Zeus being given the ultimate kingship; Hades interrupted him before he could and said that Zeus turning this into a tripartite rule was all proof Hades needed that Zeus was in the right spot. Zeus wouldn’t ever admit it, but he’s very grateful for Hades’ quietly determined big-brother-energy. Poseidon - has taught Zeus more about fighting than anyone else, and that’s as much from their more proper spars and literally fighting with him. Would trust Poseidon with wife and children and his own life, but not his kingship.