#the whole group: is that kermit the frog?

[kiestrokes]

me: attends raging new girl 29th birthday party with a lot of friends excited for their kid free weekend

me the next day: extremely puffy eyed at my desk because I signed up for overtime

[celestial-kestrel]

It's that time of year again where Mari Lwyd starts to be talked about and shared around and an INCREDIBLY misleading post gets shared a lot. As someone who grew up with Mari Lwyd I wanted to clear some things up.

Also hello, if you are unaware who Mari Lwyd is. This is about the Welsh tradition of the horse skull who visits houses during the Christmas to New Years period in Wales asking for alcohol.

First off and probably the most important one:

Mari Lwyd is not a cryptid!

I can not emphasise this enough. She. Is. Not. A. Cryptid. There is no story or mystery about a ghost or zombie horse roaming the Welsh valleys. She's not even supposed to be a ghost or a zombie. It's just a horse skull on a stick with a guy under a sheet. She's a hobbyhorse and a folk character used to tell Welsh stories and keep songs alive. When people spread the misinformation that she's a cryptid, it's the equivalent of saying Kermit the Frog is a cryptid.

She is actually only one character in a wider cast of characters who go door to door or, in more modern times, pub to pub. The cast of characters can change town to town and village to village but there are some common ones I see time and time again. The Leader, the Merryman, The Jester and The Lady are just some I see regularly. Punch and Judy used to be more popular a few years ago but I haven't seen them in a while as their tradition has mostly fallen out of popularity. In most cases, almost the whole cast will be played by men. Even the characters are considered and referred to as female. Though this again depends and varies by which group is partaking in the Mari Lwyd tradition.

This point also goes onto my second point,

Mari Lwyd does not rap.

I think this comes from a very common misunderstanding of what rap is vs spoken word. Rap is a very specific style of music originating from the African American communities of the USA and has it's own structure and motifs unique to it. It's a lot more complex than people give it credit for as a style of music and just flippantly assign anything similar to it as being rap. If someone is talking fast or reciting poetry, it is not rap. Or anything that is an exchange of words between two people is not a rap battle. Mari Lwyd does not do rap, actually something that gets left out of these posts is the fact Mari Lwyd does not even speak. It's actually the Leader, who does all the speaking and song based banter between the house/pub owner for entry. Mari Lwyd just clicks her mouth, bites people and bobs her head around.

I think Mari Lwyd is a really beautiful and unique part of Welsh culture. She's not actually as wildly celebrated as a lot of the posts make her out to be. Actually, I think most Welsh people themselves learn about Mari Lwyd through the internet as well. Her popularity is increasing thanks to the drive of local groups wanting to keep the traditions alive and a renewed desire to document Welsh traditions before they're gone. Which is why it's such a shame that she's turned into something she's not to earn horror points on the internet. I think this is why it bothers me so much to see the misunderstandings of the culture and the folk tradition. Mari Lwyd's origin is very hot debated as well as how long it's been going on for. But I think it's thanks to a lot of traditions like this that the Welsh language and our stories weren't lost forever. Welsh culture is recovering as is the language. But it's still in a very fragile place. I think it's why it's important to document and correct information when it's spread.

Anyway, if you want to see the tradition in action, here's a lovely video from the Cwmafan RFC going to one of the pubs for charity. It includes the song exchange with the pub owner for entry and the whole pub singing and joining in once Mari Lwyd and the rest are inside.

As well with another video from St Fagan's showcasing the more traditional and door to door form with the larger cast.

[jonnylovers-in-neverland]

Chris Martin: My Life in 10 Songs

The Coldplay frontman shares the stories behind the band’s defining songs, from “Yellow” and “Fix You” to their latest album — including what he says is their final single

October 3, 2024

Chris Martin remembers what it felt like when the script flipped. It happened not long after Coldplay’s second album, 2002’s A Rush of Blood to the Head. “We started to get the backlash to having become popular. And then suddenly we were the least popular band in the world as well,” the frontman says over Zoom from Los Angeles. “We never had to deal with that before, and we were a total mess.” Their early singles “Yellow” and “Clocks” had been massive hits, but there was drama with the record label, and their next batch of demos was full of duds by his own admission. Martin was still figuring out how to be in a band with guitarist Jonny Buckland, bassist Guy Berryman, and drummer Will Champion, while also learning how to raise a child as a newlywed. “I was so low in confidence,” he recalls. “I’d lost sight of that inner voice that tells you where to go.”

Martin has never felt as though he could summon that voice on command. It just shows up and drops songs into his life right when he needs it to — and at the time, he really needed it to. The result was “Fix You,” the 2005 piano ballad that guaranteed a future for Coldplay. In the two decades since then, they have followed that intuitive feeling across seven more albums, leading up to Moon Music, their tenth studio LP. There have been pop hits, dips into EDM, and even a team-up with supergroup BTS.

All of those roads have led them here, to a place where Martin feels comfortable saying Coldplay has only two more albums left after this. (He and his bandmates have been saying as much for several years now. In 2022, Martin explained, “I think we’ll keep touring and we’ll always be together as a group of musicians and friends. But I think the story of our albums ends then.”)

About those last two albums: Right now he thinks they’ll include a musical and a “raw and simple” record. “By the time we finish album 12, which is the end, it will all make sense,” he says. “So if it doesn’t sound like Coldplay right now, don’t worry, because it will eventually.”

Here, Martin looks back on the creation and lasting impact of 10 songs that define the story of Coldplay.

‘Yellow’ (2000)

“Yellow” is a good place to start, because without this song there wouldn’t be any of the others. Like any of our really good songs, I had nothing to do with it. It just happened to arrive to me. We were recording in Wales at a studio called Rockfield in 1999 or early 2000, and I was recording a song called “Shiver.” I was doing this acoustic part, and the tape machine broke. I had no idea about all of the spiritual writing around things like “look at what’s missing as an opportunity,” or “the crack is where the light comes in.” But here it was on full display without me knowing it. There was a problem, something was broken, and it created a space for something cool to arrive.

I went outside, and I was with our producer at the time, Ken Nelson. He said, “Look at the stars.” It was such a beautiful night, and this studio is in the middle of nowhere, so the stars were so glorious. I went back in, and the tape machine still wasn’t working. I started to think about the words “look at the stars.” And I was like, Neil Young always makes the word “stars” sound so American. So I was messing around trying to sing like Neil Young — but my Neil Young sounds a bit like Kermit the Frog. Then I played a chord. I had no idea what the chord was; it sounded really nice. Before I knew it, this whole song just dropped through.

The title “Yellow” came from this phone book called the Yellow Pages. This whole song came from a mistake, a break, a dysfunctional piece of machinery, what happened to be lying around, and the stars themselves. It was just all a gift. I went through to where Jonny and Will were playing FIFA football in the lounge and I said, “Listen to this — what do you think?” They barely looked up. “Yeah, that’s all right.” It was a long time between that song arriving and us really knowing how to play it properly, but we kept going until it sounded like what you hear now.

“Yellow” was our passport everywhere. The first time we came to America — before I had the good tools to manage my emotions — I had a real tantrum because the record label had changed the cover of that single to be more yellow. I freaked out because I was like, “No, no, we specifically chose this shade of warm orange.” They’re like, “But we don’t understand. The song’s called ‘Yellow.’” And I was like, “You don’t understand me.” Now, I would handle that more diplomatically.

‘Clocks’ (2002)

We had an album called A Rush of Blood to the Head, and the last song we recorded for that was “Clocks,” which, again, just felt like it fell through my fingers. I think if I was to try and work out what that piano was inspired by, there’s a Bruce Springsteen song where the piano part has a similar kind of arpeggio. But I don’t know. The lyrics, even on the record, are not quite finished. Over the years, I’ve sort of worked out what that mumble was trying to say. There’s certain songs which arrive fully formed and even the mumbles make sense, and you don’t mess with them.

It became a single in 2003, which is when you might have heard it. But any quote-unquote hit single we’ve had, any pop artist would be so disappointed with those chart positions. It’s not actual pop music. They tend to find their way over time. I think “Clocks” maybe got to Number 50 or something like that, which is funny, because in so many ways, all of our biggest successes looked like failures at the time. But like I said, with certain songs you just know this is special.

It’s one of the songs that we still have to play, every show, and it’s fun to play. When we played a festival called Glastonbury, we played the big stage for the first time that year, and we got this massive green laser — which for us was the biggest deal. Ever since then, whenever we play “Clocks,” there has to be a laser. Otherwise, I feel like it’s missing its identity.

‘Fix You’ (2005)

We were having a very, very difficult time as a band. We had just become relatively successful with the first two albums. Phil [Harvey], who’s our creative director and my best friend, had left because his role had become so administrative. We were still on the same label, but the ownership at that time was obsessed with share prices. They were putting a lot of pressure on us about their share price — which is a weird thing to put on a band. We didn’t know any better. I’d just got married. I had a baby, who’s now a young woman. I was so out of my depth in every direction, and so were the rest of us. There was addiction — there was just all of the things.

The only thing that really was a positive was, of course, having my daughter. Her mom had been given this keyboard called a Korg Triton by her dad, who had passed away. This keyboard had sounds on it that I’d never heard before. I had sent a whole bunch of demos to our label, and our A&R guy called me back and said, “There’s nothing on here that’s good.” And he was right, with the exception of a song called “Gravity.” At that time, I was quite unsure of myself. I was lucky that songs were still arriving. That album has some good melodies and some good songs. But we failed, basically, on that whole album to get any of them produced right or edited right. It’s too long. There’s too many songs. I’m singing about the same thing too much. It’s full of problems — except the song “Fix You,” which made us survive for five years. I would change little bits of it, but it was a good recording.

That song came from the situation that we were in. It was just everything that felt broken. The band was a mess. We were not sure why we were doing it. We weren’t getting along. We didn’t have our own place to go and play. This song was the light in a dark period for the band. All I remember about recording that album was that it was just terrible. It was just mistake after mistake and problem after problem. I didn’t have any tools to handle anything, so I would get triggered really easily. I would get angry really easily. It would cause division in the band, and no one else felt creatively free because I was like an insecure tyrant at that time.

I’m happy we went through that period, because we had to. It led to some really great things afterwards. But if it wasn’t for “Fix You,” that would have been the end of the band.

‘Viva la Vida’ (2008)

This song changed a lot for us. It was the beginning of a whole new life. We started studying with Brian Eno and a guy called Markus Dravs. We found a little space to call our own, and we went back to nothing — as if nothing had ever happened and we hadn’t had any success or anything. There was no pressure except to rediscover the joy of being in a band.

For my part, I had to learn to let Guy, Will, and Jonny be fully free to try anything. I let go of a lot of control freakiness, but replaced it with a clear vision, which is two different things. Within a vision, I think you can let everyone be fully themselves and go for it. Whereas with a control freak, it makes people feel stifled, and that’s not a good thing in a band. So Brian came in and just blew all those cobwebs away and all that fear away. And I’d say that Jonny, Will, and Guy have been much happier in the band since Brian reeducated us. So have I, actually. Brian was 60 at the time. He would come in every day like a child full of curiosity and wonder and excitement and the joy of music and the joy of failure and trying things that don’t work.

That album was a real rediscovery of joy, and all of that album centered around this one song, “Viva la Vida.” That was probably the song that fell through most naturally, but then took months to get the production right. There were versions of it that were not good. Even when it was finished, our label asked us to take it off the album because they said it didn’t really sound like Coldplay. But we just felt like, no — it doesn’t sound like the other type of Coldplay. But what we are, as a band, is a band who are committed to doing what feels right at the time and following the songs.

‘Paradise’ (2011)

The story of that song is funny because it came from being a massive Rihanna fan and loving the repeating of “ella, ella, ella” at the end of “Umbrella.” And I was thinking, I wonder if you could do that at the beginning of a song, and repeat the first syllable, “para-, para-, para-.” Then, The X Factor — that show was ginormous at that time, and like everyone else, I loved watching it. I was thinking, “I wonder if they’d ever let me have a go at the song for the winner in 2011.” So I was thinking about those two things: Rihanna songs and The X Factor. And then into my head popped this “para-, para-, paradise” idea. I played it to the rest of the band. I said, “I think we should give this away to the winner of The X Factor.” And Will was like, “No, we’re not giving that up. We’ll do that one. Thank you very much.” The irony being, of course, that we ended up playing it on The X Factor that Christmas.

It didn’t take that long to produce, but it was missing two lines of lyrics and it was driving me crazy. Sometimes with the songs that are basically fully formed, there’s two key bits missing. In that one, there was a line that went, “So lying underneath those stormy skies, she’d say —” And I was like, I don’t know what she would say to get back to “this could be paradise.” It took months and months and months. I auditioned 1,000 different [things that] she might say to know that she could turn this place into paradise. The one I settled on isn’t the poetry of Shakespeare, but it makes sense, which is: “The sun must set to rise.” As soon as that came to us, OK, now the song’s finished. Now we can release it. A lot of that album was designed to be part of a musical movie about an alien with magical feet, but that got too complicated. It was just the beginning of taking off all the limits. If we have a song that’s a strange trap, ska, reggae, metal song and we like it, then we’re going to do it. It was so liberating.

‘A Sky Full of Stars’ (2014)

The rest of the band were back in England. I was here in L.A. I called Avicii and said, there’s a song called “A Sky Full of Stars,” please will you help produce it? I’d never met him before, and he came in like a thunderbolt. Have you ever seen The Incredibles? You know the kid, Dash? Avicii was like Dash. He would do things so quickly that you wouldn’t be able to see it. I’d done the piano and the vocals. The next morning, I received a fully formed EDM banger on my phone from him — like, done. It was incredible. And then we, being Coldplay, spent three months trying to marry that sound with the sound of the band to make something that was different to just straight-up EDM.

It caused a bit of conflict, that song, because we hadn’t really jumped into that world before. But by the end we deconstructed it enough. In the end, it got to a place where it was something that we all felt was right for that song. Will, our drummer, said, “I don’t know how I feel about this song.” But then once we put it in the context of the album, he saw, OK, it comes here. Then he was fully on board. We would never release a song if he was not into it. But for Will and for everybody, actually, the context and the clothing around things is so important. And that one took extra effort to make sure that that EDM-ness fit.

In my experience, the more that people are able to express themselves and release what’s hurting them and then be themselves, the higher chance they have of loving themselves, but also loving other people and accepting other people. “A Sky Full of Stars” is really our song about unconditional love. It’s a fun song to play now, and we have a gimmick with it live that makes it even more fun. In a way, that’s how we feel about anyone who’s ever heard of our band. It’s like, you might like us, you might not like us. We love you. Don’t worry about it. It’s OK. Whatever you feel is OK. We’re not going to bite you back. And that’s a nice place to live in. Even if I’m not feeling like that that day, singing that song puts me back in that — OK, whatever you say. We don’t wish you any harm at all. You do what you want to do.

‘Adventure of a Lifetime’ (2015)

I was feeling, around A Head Full of Dreams, “Our next single can’t be a song where I’m in the front of it. That’s tired.” Every so often, Jonny, who’s a very humble guy — his parts are incredible, and they seem to fit with the melodies I’m singing. They really complement each other. That’s what we started the band from. He’s never that comfortable leading the song, but he did it once with a song called “In My Place.” And I was thinking, “God, I wish we could do a song where it was led by the guitar riff. We haven’t had one of those for so long.” One of my big jobs is to listen to Jonny improvise over the loop of a new song, which is a technique Brian Eno taught us. You loop a section of the song, and then Jonny finds his parts by just playing over and over and over.

And there was a jam called “Legends,” which was not a very good song, but Jonny was playing on it. He was playing this riff. And I said, “That riff is amazing.” Then it sat for a bit and we went in with Stargate. It was a bit of a hodgepodge. There was a chord sequence I was playing with and the title “Adventure of a Lifetime,” which was much quicker. I can’t remember how it happened, but they took his riff and made it fit on this new rhythm. It was just immediately, “Oh, that’s splendid.” And I’m allowed to say that because it’s not me. I’m so grateful for that riff, and I’m so grateful for that person, because it’s a musical match. It’s fun to play that song. I don’t think it’s necessarily the best from what I’m doing, but the feel of it is really important for us. And the riff is magic.

‘Daddy’ (2019)

Everyday Life doesn’t really have singles and was never meant to. We had to pull a song off it. Now, I would follow Billie Eilish’s lead, or Taylor‘s or Beyoncé’s, and say none of these can withstand being a single. The song that was most important to me on it was this song “Daddy,” which is not a single at all.

I don’t know if it’s about me apologizing to my kids or talking to my dad. At that time, I was reading about the American justice system. There’s a book called The New Jim Crow, about the massive over-incarceration of innocent Black men and the removal of a generation in that way. I was quite upset about learning this. So many dads are taken away from their kids, and they haven’t done anything at all — nothing. They’ve done nothing at all. It’s a system where you are designed to be screwed over if you look the wrong way.

That whole album is about things like that. I love to sing about the power of love, and that being the ultimate force that’s worth following. But I don’t want that to sound ignorant — and I know it does sometimes — so it was important for us to make Everyday Life. Look, these are the things we see happening. We’re not living in an utopian vacuum. We know Earth is full of problems, and this is how we’d feel if they were happening to us, or this is what I feel when I read that story. In a way, I was nervous to try and go to that place, but I think the way to do that was with a song like “Daddy.” How would I feel, or what part of that experience can I relate to, if any? What can my kids relate to? Well, their dad isn’t wrongfully incarcerated, but I was away a lot.

‘My Universe’ (2021)

Bill Rahko, who works with us, I had asked him if he ever had any bits of music lying around. He had a bit of music and a little bit of melody. I was listening to his loop that he’d made and the chorus came into my head, “You, you are, my universe.” And I was like, well, if I sing “you,” then someone else should sing that back right away: “You, you, you are, you are,” like that.

I’d got a message that BTS were looking for a song — which wasn’t true. And I thought, don’t be ridiculous. That would never work. Don’t be crazy. But it stuck in my head. Anyway, the song was about people who are told they can’t be together — whether that’s Romeo and Juliet, or interracial couples, or interfaith couples, or places where there’s no LGBTQ permission. It felt like the coolest person to sing that song with would be someone who we’re not supposed to be with. It turned out to be the most uplifting, natural collaboration. I would do anything for those guys at any time. They were so good. They made the song so great.

A bit embarrassingly, I tried to sing fake Korean in the break in the pre-chorus — which I hope no one ever hears, because A, it’s probably wrong to do that on some level, and B, it sounded ridiculous. But then I called RM from BTS and said, “Here’s how it goes.” And he said, “No problem.” They wrote their lyrics and then all their ad-libs. My goddaughter educated me about ARMY and who everyone was. By the time I got to Seoul, I really knew about the rap team and I was like, well, we have to have a section where Suga and J-Hope can do some rapping. It was so fun in the studio. At first everyone was really nervous of each other, like, “What is this?” And there’s cameras everywhere in their world. But by the end, it was like, oh, this was always meant to be. Now we’re a boy band of seven really good-looking young Koreans and one old white guy, and it’s totally fine.

We just follow the song where the song wants to go — even if that song makes you fly to Korea to work with a boy band, knowing that in doing so you’re destroying any shred of cool or credibility and you risk upsetting their fans too. That’s the philosophy that we live by … I think with all of these songs we’ve chosen for this, they’ve all been allowed to be themselves, and the identity of the band has grown to accommodate that. So now, if we said, “Oh, we want to do a song with One Direction,” no one would think anything of it. I don’t think that’s possible right now, because they’ve gone in five directions. But it’s fun to let the band grow.

'All My Love’ (2024)

“All My Love” is really the final Coldplay single. After this, there’s no more singles, because we don’t want to do that. Of all of the songs that have dropped through really quickly, this is maybe the one that I just don’t understand how it happened. I’m so grateful for this song. I don’t know if and when it will connect with who or not, but for me, it’s a really important song. It’s like, after everything we’ve been through, you have all my love. That’s it. That’s how we feel about life and the world and our fans and our critics and everybody. I didn’t really have to do anything on that song. I just played it. I don’t know how to explain that. Even when I’m playing it now, I’m like, how did that come through?

The first time [playing it live] was an unplanned thing, because there was a guy that tried to get onstage and then fell. That was not great in any way. The end of our show was kind of biffed. There was a tension in the air because it was a strange move on his part, and he could have died. Thank goodness he didn’t. So I thought, well, this song is just to kind of calm down. Whatever’s happened, it’s all love.

I love singing it, I love playing it, and I don’t really have anything to say about it other than Coldplay has never been cool. Never will be cool. We might be Number One or we might be Number 100. None of it really matters. We get sent these songs and we do them for the people that like them, and even sometimes for the people who don’t like them, so that they can express some aggression at us safely. So with “All My Love,” I just feel like, well, relax. These are our songs and this is what we do. And if you like it, amazing. Here it is for you.

[girlreviews]

Review #295: Random Access Memories, Daft Punk

It sort of blows my mind that this album is already over a decade old. It’s been out long enough that I listened to it too much, let it live in the wilderness for a while, and then fell in love with it again. I kinda think it might have been a little critically divisive at the time. Some people thought it was very commercial and really far away from what they had come to love about Daft Punk. But a lot of people didn’t mind the direction they had taken because it was still artistically really good. I definitely think it holds up. And I liked their older stuff a lot too. It’s okay to like both, not sure if everyone realizes that. We actually don’t have to fight about it guys! Not only did it have a lot more emotional and lyrical substance to it compared to previous work, but they were really adding in a lot of complexity with more mainstream instruments through their collaborations. It was really cool, what those robots did, man. They really did a lot for music in the 2000s. Even with their music videos and shit. Thank you robots.

This record came out in late May of 2013. I left the UK and moved back to the US in late June of 2013. That last month was spent with friends, spending quality time before we said goodbye, and we happened to get a few weeks of sunshine. Get Lucky had been released in April ahead of the full album, and it felt like a breath of fresh air. I remember my boy bestie sending it to me and being like, hey, fuckin’ listen to this, yeah? It had Nile Rogers from Chic in it! Fuck yeah! We fucking love some Chic! It’s about time people realized they were cool! By the end of the week our group chat was just back and forth of “We’re up all night to get [insert literally any two syllable word]”. It got old quickly to be honest, and eventually so did the song. But I still do melt right at the very end when its tiny little guitar riff gently repeats and fades out. I will always let the song play all the way through just so I can hear it end so perfectly. It never bothered me that it got so overplayed on the radio, it bothered me that on the radio, that guitar riff got talked over by the DJ EVERY FUCKING TIME. Criminal.

Then the rest of it came and every meetup or long weekend together was a lot of dancing, alongside a heated debate or deep and meaningful conversation about which track was the best. There were only a few people who were just too cool to admit that it was simply a great album. Always the usual suspects. I was always an outlier with my thoughts on the best track, which in my humble opinion is Touch, featuring Paul Williams. The same Paul Williams that wrote Kermit the Frog’s Rainbow Connection, and the entire Muppet Christmas Carol soundtrack. I imagine other people might cite other more famous works of his — but I really love the Muppets, and I’m proud of my choices. I think that fact alone is enough to make it the best track truth be told but it also happens to just be absolutely incredible. Lyrically, it actually blows my tiny mind. Multiple times throughout, actually. But musically it’s just out of this fucking world. Someone had this song in their mind, and brought it into existence so that it could be heard and witnessed by us all. I can listen to the piano alongside these electronic space travel noises gently lead into two robots beautifully singing to me, like a lullaby, until it descends into a whole-ass choir:

“Hold on

If love is the answer

You’re home”

On repeat. For awhile. Just long enough that you’re like. Wow yeah, I’m home! Everything’s gonna be okay! Thank you kind robots and children apparently in space! And then some violins are gently floating you back down to earth, with an up-tempo and assuring drumbeat. The children are still singing, but they’re getting further away. Suddenly. Paul’s back. And his voice is alone, eventually joined by the piano, which is somber. He’s very serious:

“Touch, sweet touch

You’ve given me too much to feel

Touch, sweet touch

You’ve almost convinced me I’m real

I need something more

I need something more”

WHAT? ARE YOU GUYS SERIOUS? WHAT JUST HAPPENED? WHERE HAVE I BEEN? AM I OKAY? WILL I EVER BE OKAY AGAIN?

I will, you will, we all will, but what’s just happened is, we have all just listened to an absolutely perfect and incredible work of pure emotional and artistic genius. When I hear this song it feels like my muscles relax. It makes my ears warm. It moves me. I’m not really joking when I say it’s literally a journey — no wait, a Broadway performance, featuring Nile Rogers — through time and space.

I believe we all agreed that Giorgio by Moroder was outstanding. I still agree with that. In fact from my love of the track I have gone on to listen to a lot more of Giorgio Moroder’s work, or maybe discovered that I had listened to a lot of it without really realizing. The part about the “click”, and the Moog modulator. I love thinking about this time in music, because there would have been this time where people heard sounds they had literally never heard before. I went to the Moog factory in Asheville, NC and it was the coolest shit ever. Nerdy, cool ass shit. Like Giorgio Moroder, and Daft Punk.

Random Access Memories was just the perfect soundtrack to that very sunny, sweet, and sort of sad time. I was gathering up my belongings and delivering the most special items to my friends (my records, my guitar, art, books), things I couldn’t bring with me, so that they could look after them until I got everything figured out. If I were to look at any pictures from those last few weeks in the UK, I know we would were all super fucked up in every single one. In our defense we were all 24/25 years old, and I don’t think we wanted to deal with our big feelings. I most certainly didn’t. And it was really fucking fun. We all felt the love. They are happy memories. Those are still my people. They still have my stuff. We all still love this record. It’s just that the last time I spent New Year’s Eve with them, we played nerdy board games, watched Jools Hollands Hootenanny, had a cheese plate and some wine and went to bed by 1AM. And then on New Year’s Day we went on a “lovely nice walk”.

At one of my friends 30th birthdays, and this was well into my living in the states, everyone was really hammered and the playlist was pretty all over the place. A lot of very millennial emo, Blink 182, you know. But suddenly Instant Crush from this album, the collaboration with Julian Casablancas came on. I swear to god, the weirdest thing happened. It had been pretty rowdy, we were all drunk and singing along to whatever was on and getting pretty silly, but when this song came on. Everyone stood in a circle, and sang it really sweetly doing tiny little robot wiggles. It was so pure. It ended, everyone cracked up, and then resumed the chaos. The next day I had one of the worst hangovers I’d had in a fucking WHILE and had to go to a pretty fancy brunch with my brother in law and his wife. I had to excuse myself from the table to barf SEVERAL times. I regret nothing.

I feel really sentimental about this record, it just makes me think of summer, friends, sunshine, being fucked up in a fun way, and goodbyes — but the kind that are okay because it’s with your ride or dies who you know are always gonna be there. It’s twelve years later, I’m listening to Random Access Memories as I write this, and we are all still besties. I do probably need to get my stuff from them though.

In 2023, to celebrate 10 years of Random Access Memories, Daft Punk released the drumless edition of the album. This one didn’t seem to be such a universally adored hit among all of my pals. But I gotta tell you, I loved it just as much. It feels totally different and I was here for it. Check it out, maybe you’ll hate it, but keep an open mind. I admit, it’s likely that I have rose tinted glasses on about it. That’s fine with me.

[thebowerypresents]

Tyler Childers Makes a Statement Over Two Nights at Madison Square Garden

Tyler Childers – Madison Square Garden – May 28-29, 2024

Tyler Childers has one of the great voices, not only in modern country and Americana, but in music, period: pained, howling, lived-in, oaky, scuffed-smooth when it needs to be, utterly recognizable. Over a series of sturdy albums that shows increasingly deep songwriting, his sound has become a through line from ancient twang to countrypolitan modern and many other points easily adjacent or distantly related, from gosxpel to folk, blues to Appalachian string. Especially in a live setting, they’re all usefully blended.

Childers and a massive version of his Food Stamps band — eight players in all — hit Madison Square Garden on Tuesday, the first of two statement-maker shows at the arena. Name-checking Joe’s Pub and some other much smaller NYC venues that dot a steady rise to bigger and bigger crowds over less than a decade, Childers seemed genuinely moved by the grand expanse of the room and the lordly reception from fans. Naturally, he responded in kind: a big show, a big sound, gorgeously emotional whether it was the whole band hitting at full throttle, or Childers alone onstage in guitar-storyteller mode. 

The band all together revealed many layers as they fleshed out the tunes, from the country stomp of “Percheron Mules” to the gorgeous blends of pedal steel and fiddle that ramped into “I Swear (To God).” “All Your’n” was an example of a tender, piano-dappled love song — more than a few couples were asway at all levels of the arena — and snatches of accordion, mandolin and organ shot through at various points, too. “Purgatory” was a stuttering, busy boogie, and then came a see-and-raise to an even busier boogie, an instrumental reading of the traditional mountain picker “Cluck Ol’ Hen,” with Childers on a fiddle and the whole group moving into psychedelic hoedown territory. It was that kind of wild.

As deservedly much as he’s lauded for songwriting, Childers is a gifted interpreter of others’ songs too — never more than a few during a show and positioned just right. Tuesday’s show included a Kenny Rogers (“Tulsa Turnaround”), a Hank Williams (“Old Country Church”), an S.G. Goodman (!) (“Space and Time” — stunning) and … yep, a Kermit the Frog (“Movin’ Right Along”), complete with the green puppet himself, singing on both that song and, as a bittersweet duo with Childers just before it, on “Lady May.”

I mean, sure, why not, right? Kermit was just one more part of the full serving — a continuous, two-hour set with a solo-acoustic segment in the middle that unfolded panoramically and went for broke near the end with a run that included usual Childers bangers like “Whitehouse Road,” “Way of the Triune God” and the triumphant “Universal Sound.” The finale was “Heart You’ve Been Tendin’,” which built gradually on the back of the chant-like refrain “All that you’ll take” and stacked the tension, yielding to a bone-saw-sharp solo from guitarist CJ Cain that pushed the band to Crazy Horse–like levels of vicious choogle. But heavy and sonic as it all was, Childers himself remained the center of the action regardless of the mode, letting his humility be even bigger than his voice and then pushing that howl even harder, paying off the tender hearts and the rage-ready alike. A great night. —Chad Berndtson | @Cberndtson

Photos courtesy of Marc Millman | www.marcmillmanphotos.com

[coconutcows]

Muppet movies I’d like

- an original movie that parodies tropes from mafia movies starring Kermit as a PI and Fozzie as his assistant getting tangled up with a few groups of mobsters, a mob of pigs led by Miss Piggy, a Mob of Dogs led by Rowlf with another dog muppet as a red herring leader due to Rowlfs laid back nature, and a third Mob of Rats run by an old Rat with Rizzo wanting to prove he’s best choice to take over and Pepe is his buddy helping him figure out how to prove it. The Electric Mayhem would be playing at every one of the different mobs clubs, Kermit would comment on this and Floyd would shrug and say “a gigs a gig”. Gonzo and a group of chickens would try and act as an up and coming mob and a threat to the others. They would not be but Gonzo would show up at the weirdest places and times for comedic effect but would prove important for the plot near the end. Maybe a trilogy.

- a Muppet Frankenstein remake, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew would be Doctor Frankenstein and Beaker would be the monster. Bunsen Honeystein would reflect on feeling lonely and wishing he had someone to do experiments with. So he’d create the Honeystein’s Monster, Beaker. After a montage of them doing experiments where Beaker always experiencing the negative effects he’d run away. Every new interaction he has also goes awry leading up to the villagers chasing him. Bunsen is able to catch up to them and explains Beaker is not malicious just very accident prone. Beaker would realize none of the experiments were set up to hurt him on purpose and that Bunsen truly does care about him. A misstep of Beakers would still cause the windmill to catch fire but everyone would be okay. The little girl with the flowers would either be Annie Sue or Janice but they wouldn’t die, but Beaker would run off before witnessing them surface in the river.

- A Muppet Remake of Dreamworks “Bee Movie”. The humans would mostly be Pigs with some other humanoid muppets mixed in. Miss Piggy would play that lady Vanessa, Link Hogthrob would be her boyfriend Ken, and obviously Kermit would play Barry B Benson. Now, either the whole thing would be revised to be something about Pigs and Frogs being unable to get along or something, or the plot would be the the exact same with the other bees played by new Bee puppets and Kermit playing the part of a bee completely straight, still being a frog but in a black and yellow striped sweater. That wild defence attorney would be played by Dr. Julius Strangepork because please picture him asking Kermit in his faux German accent if he’s Miss Piggy’s “little bedbug?” And Kermit giving us a real good scrunch face and a genuine “I don’t know what to say to that”. And Barry’s friend would also be someone, probably Fozzie, in a striped sweater, and instead of stinging the attorney in the courtroom he’d hit him with a rubber chicken or something. They would still call it a sting though.

-And Finally a series of Muppet Movies based on the Sherlock Holmes novels Starring Rowlf as Sherlock Holmes and Baskerville the Hound as Watson. This could also make a decent show tbh and is 100% based on this one sketch from The Muppet Show

[fawningoveradream]

Tagged by: @nebulariclover

I decided to backtrack some past posts and rbs and tags associated with my tumblr url. Idk how I missed this! Sorry for the VERY late response.

Rules: 1.) Post the rules. 2.) Answer the questions given to you by your tagger 3.) Write 11 questions of your own, and 4.) Tag 11 people!

1.) What bands/musicians would you like to see in concert?

Idk? I've never really been to a formal concert other than me participating in my middle school's orchestra--aaaaaaand perhaps the occasional local country band at a bar or art fest in my city's downtown district.

I'd say I would like to one day hear The Orion Experience, The Hu a popular Mongolian folk-band, or Kendrick Lamar.

2.) What is your idea of a perfect day?

Just going out to places with my partner! I'd love to just explore either a local nature spot with em or check out some roadside attractions. I'd even settle for some group artistic project day!

I also sometimes dream of one day having a nice picnic date with em or invite some friends and have a large picnic group date out in nature or a lovely park. Getting a lil drunk or just drinking, swapping stories, sharing foods we baked or made.

3.) Would you rather never be able to listen to music or never be able to watch cable?

Never be able to watch cable. I spent my whole life for a long time not having access to cable tv and only had the standard tv channels. I'll live!! PBS THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE TO MY CHILDHOOD!!!

I can't live every day life without listening to my favorite songs. I'd go crazy. What you mean I can't listen to The Mamas and The Papas??? What you mean I can't listen to the soundtrack of the Muppet's Movie (1979)?! What you mean no more Lil Nas X??! NO BILL WITHERS!? NO GLORIA GAYNOR--NO EARTHA KITT?!!!

4.) What talents do you have that you're especially proud of?

I know how to sew patches onto jackets really well! I can come up with real interesting creatures with a full background and appearance. I go full-in when it comes to abstract and often mismatched acrylic paints with scenery.

I've been told that I'm a very good baker! And dogs love me!

5.) Who are your favorite characters? **I did this list in no listed order; just from top of my head

Courage the Cowardly Dog

My many fursonas

Kermit the Frog

Lupin the 3rd and Inspector Zenigata!

The Combaticons (transformers g1)

Bulkhead & Prowl from TFA (Transformers Animated)

Kaon from the DJD

Scooby-Doo

Captain Sisko, Jadzia Dax, Odo, Julian Bashir, Jake Sisko, Quark, Miles O'Brien, Worf, Garak (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)

6.) Do you like to sing?

I don't sing in public. I'm kinda self-conscious about the sound of my voice. And I'm aware that I tend to have breaks/sqweaks in my voice when I try to sing. I do sing when its just myself (majority of time), with my partner in their car, or when out drinking with friends at bars.

7.) What helps you sleep?

Ceiling fan ON (medium speed majority of time *depends on the sound the fan makes; if majority is silent then high speed). Temperature must be around 73*F with AC on cool setting - auto

Sleep only in my boxers

Covers consist of my bed's main semi-thick quilt cover and a cotton bed sheet.

Pillows fluffy but maintain shape and don't cover my face/nose area. My pillow sheets are also cooling sensitive as well if I need to flip it onto its otherside if I wake up warm.

I am a stomach sleeper who also likes to be semi-covered under into my bedsheets.

8.) If you could have 4 superpowers to have, what would they be?

Animal shapeshifting

Regeneration/Health restoration power

Water Breathing/Seeing *Aquatic superpower??

Lightening power

9.) Do you prefer dark chocolate, milk chocolate, or white chocolate?

I've been slowly turned into a lover of dark chocolate. HOWEVER I am, still, and always will be weak for the sweet stuff that is milk chocolate!

10.) What are your hobbies?

I like to draw or doodle my fursonas, I like to also paint scenery on canvases, I also like to sew. Baking is also a small hobby of mine. I also like to catch up on some reading as well. Poetry and writing stories use to be an old passion of mine, but I've kind of abandoned it. Or just really struggle to get back into completing it once I've started.

I also like taking care of my ginseng bonsai tree Gordon! And taking walks outside with my dog ranger is also pretty fun too!

11.) Where would you love to live?

In my biggest dreams? In the Philippines near Olongapo or Manila city where a big part of my fam live curretly in.

A list of other places I'd love to live in:

Austrian or Swiss Alps. I like cold weather, and I don't mind being surrounded by deep woods.

Portugal

Spain

If realistically and here in the USA. I'd love to stay here in the south-east coastal region. Cause its where I've grown up in. But with the current culture and anti-lgbt/trans laws and stripping of human rights. I might have to consider moving up north or some state out west thats a safe haven or tolerable. But also has job opportunities related to my own and/or my partners interests/career choice.

11 questions for who I'm tagging:

1.) What's a plant, flower, veggie, fungi, or fruit you've always wanted to grow on your own. But can't due to circumstances or just not having a green thumb?

2.) Do you have a fursona what is their name and species? If you have multiple fursonas which one is your most favorite? Why?

3.) Do you have a favorite song?

4.) Are you currently happy with the job you have right now?

5.) If you were given the chance to live your eternal life as an immortal (in this case never growing old but still being "just some dude" w/ a meatbag body) would you take it? What would you be doing with all that time?

6.) What's your favorite penguin? Why?

7.) Do you have a signature dish (food)? Either that you can make or food that you associate yourself with? Bonus points if you do both!

8.) Whats a specific scene in a movie, show, book, or game that brought you to emotional tears growing up?

9.) Do you think werewolves need to take heartworm and flea & tick medication every month? Do you think in werewolf worlds they got themselves a werewolf positive vet who gives em this medication? Or is there like some elaborate illegal selling of heartworm + flea and tick medication scheme? Do you think in a werewolf world do humans (or humans who are werewolves themselves) privatize medicare for werewolves?

10.) Do you have a fave color you wish you could add to your wardrobe of clothing you have?

11.) How do you manage your emotions when your angry or sad?

Tagging: @jacobtheloofah , @lohboh , @dolphin-damsel , @twinktodapast , @silly-bean , @fiddledy-dee , @vulturereyy , @caydebug , @cantabilechaos , @dkpsyhog , and @jammings

Feel free to ignore my tag if you don't wanna participate!! I just thought it would be fun to take a try on this. It really got me thinking about my early days here on tumblr.

[cosmikazie]

last rw-related post of the night but ive been building up a headcanon universe (just me bullshitting and joking around basically) for all the scugs despite my lack of knowledge of the subject thus far where all of them (including that inv one. arent they also named like soprano or sepiroth or some shit like that) are banded together to survive in a camp and travel as a team and all have their own responsibilities and shiz.

and ive come up with an idea for who i want rivulet to be which i really like

so rivulet is like. they hang out near water and stuff and they collect aquatic materials the others might need for stuff bc they can swim pretty well. but they are one of the more eccentric ones out of the whole group bc their eyes are open, unblinking like 90% of the time and they tend to appear out of nowhere from puddles and stuff. and they often drop some heavy philosophical wisdom stuff out of the blue, and then after theyre done talking they completely forget whatever they said.

also their voice sounds vaguely like kermit the frog I DONT MAKE THE RULES

[orbitalpirate]

I really enjoy imagining the professor meeting the muppets.

Like there's an awkward silence and

The Professor: so... you ever time traveled?

Kermit the Frog: Me, personally, no. But miss Peggy's been to space.

The Professor: oh wow

Kermit: so I hear you have your own TV shows, y'know the muppet show means a lot to me and I always love hearing from other non human entertainers.

The Professor: Oh, well actually Puppet History is a youtube show, but I absolutely agree with you.

Kermit: what's that?

The Professor: what's what?

Kermit: what's youtube?

The Professor: it's like a social media website for video platforming. I am part of an entertainment group that works the channel together. Yeah it was started by these three friends, one has guessed on my show once or twice, the other is my producer and then there's beef boy!

Kermit: beef boy?

The Professor: he's my best friend in the whole world. He's a human and he's been with me every step of the way, do younhave a friend like that?

Kermit: I used too.

Oh look I made myself sad. Also i feel like they would assume that the professor would get along vest with like Dr honeydew, the muppets newscaster and like Sam eagle, buy I just know in my heart of hearts that he is hanging out with gonzo.

[adamation3]

I posted 2,552 times in 2022

That's 2,163 more posts than 2021!

223 posts created (9%)

2,329 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@curious-georg

@lizzardtown

@beyond-a-name

@theoneandonlycowboyofthesea

@muppetmarv

I tagged 1,212 of my posts in 2022

#muppets - 198 posts

#eah - 94 posts

#ever after high - 90 posts

#me thoughts - 80 posts

#community - 40 posts

#elton john - 36 posts

#art - 36 posts

#the muppets - 36 posts

#eah art - 35 posts

#kermit the frog - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#you got to click it​you got to click it​you got to click it​you got to click it​you got to click it​you got to click it​you got to click it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Well, I have a dream too, but it's about singing and dancing and making people happy. It's the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. And I found a whole group of friends who have the same dream, and that kind of makes us like a family. -Kermit The Frog

Happy (slightly late) Birthday Kermit!

135 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

#4

I made me a new profile pic

Happy Halloween

136 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

#3

Happy Pride to this clip!

142 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

#2

JUST LOOK AT HER!!

272 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay Muppet History you are a Legend!!!

11,580 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[alligator-dreaming]

06-23-2024

Dreamed last night that I was Kermit the Frog. I met up with all of my Muppet friends at a school and we were getting ready to re-enact the end of A Muppet Family Christmas when a giant brown full body Muppet as big and wide as a bus burst through the door and attacked the group. He grabbed and ate everyone in the room, but I made a dash for it and barely escaped alive. He was fast and a constant presence so I couldn't let my guard down.

I met up with another survivor, Muffet, and together we very carefully snuck out of the dark school building and got the big brown monster off our tail. We slept in a storm drain outside until the next morning. When we woke up, we could see from where we were (downhill of the school building) that the big brown monster was not alone: there were others of his kind searching the school (still thinking we were in there), and they were reporting to a mysterious woman. End of part 1.

We attempted to stealth past the school and continue on our way, but at the last second the monsters in the school saw us and we were forced to run for it.

We had a head start, but the monsters were fast, and outside in the open they were no longer held back by narrow halls and sharp turns. We pushed ourselves, but the monsters caught up with us and I was captured. One of the monsters dragged me away to a small, isolated room to be interrogated. He took off his full body Muppet costume to fit in the room and was revealed to be a voice actor on a web series I like. He then began to torture me for information with a bunsen burner. But I had no useful information to give except for my life's story; eventually, he stopped torturing me, and we started to have an actual conversation about our lives. I was able to convince him to abandon the other monsters and join me and Muffet in our quest to survive and free the other Muppets from the first monster's stomach. End of part 2.

We took a short break after this scene to break character and talk about how everything was going. Everyone was really enjoying the plot and playing the characters, and we all decided that this should become a regular thing and get to be an eight-part serial. I briefly woke up after this, but dozed off again, and we went on to part 3.

The VA monster and I met back up with Muffet and decided to venture west across the desert to escape the monsters that wanted to eat us. We had few supplies and were growing tired, but with the VA's help we had for the most part totally lost the monsters. However, there was a growing personality clash between me and the VA monster - he was the better survivalist, so we depended on him, but he became standoffish and wouldn't explain what he was doing. He once disappeared for a whole day to forage for supplies and came back with one egg when we already had a whole carton of eggs. Then he used every egg we had, and I freaked out because that was all of our eggs. It turns out he was using them to make sauce for pasta alla carbonara, and it was really good. End of part 3. And end of the dream.

[astronomodome]

Ok so first of all tw for zombie horror stuff, probably unreality, idk. Body horror. Yes this was all in my nightmare and it was a nightmare. I was living in the start to a zombie apocalypse horror thing. And I can’t claim any of this is original because again this isn’t something I thought up consciously. But on the other hand I don’t consume zombie horror regularly because I find it too scary. Which made the whole experience worse,,,, which again what the fuck brain,,,,

Ok so the first thing I/my character (yes that’s relevant) saw that was weird was a cat with one huge glassy green eye that took up its entire face. It was in my character’s front lawn. My character lived in this endless sort of Americana midwestern suburb, minor 50s vibes tbh. But yeah this cat. I remember taking a bunch of pictures on my phone because what the fuck. It just stared at me. I was like huh that was weird but then I went to bed as one does. The next morning I wake up to a bunch of bright lights making this buzzing noise passing by my window, which was cracked open, as if they were vehicles, but by the noise and light I could tell that something was weird. At this point I tried to get out of bed to see what it is but I physically couldn’t. Haha dream joke very funny brain. But yeah then my character’s dad (not my dad. This guy is like… think Calvin and Hobbes dad) busts into my room telling me panickedly to get up and nailing a poster to the wall (I assume something about the zombie thing), saying that the government has sent out a warning about something like a virus and we all have to stay inside, dictating when we can go out for food and we have to go really carefully, etc. At some point I wash my family’s (it’s a very standard American nuclear family. Again 50s feel in modern times. Dad, blonde housewife mom, little brother, me. We even had a dog. The last I saw of him he was fine tho don’t worry) laundry and my little brother (again, not my little brother, my character’s) has bloodstains on his pants. I guess foreshadowing that he’s infected which is. Fucked but let’s move on.

At this point me/ my character is wise to this plotline. I don’t know, I guess I was aware I was in a dream but I was still governed by the rules of the dream. So I go up to the dad character and I’m like I know this is the start of a zombie apocalypse plotline and I want out. I remember having to argue like yeah all this with my family dying around me and stuff is triggering to me and bad for my mental health. And eventually he’s like okay get out of here. So I join up with this governmental group that apparently is running this thing as a test of what people would do if a zombie apocalypse broke out. The plan is basically to wreak havoc on this one perfectly American flavored town and its unsuspecting inhabitants as a test for what might happen. Remember the cyclops cat? Yeah apparently that was one of their surveillance drones. Idk why they thought people would think that’s normal but yeah. The lore here goes crazy. Anyway. I was assigned (again, my character) to the group of like young college students helping to run it. We were Purple Team and we wore purple uniforms, I overheard other folks talking about an Orange Team that did a similar test apparently that went bad because everyone was anxious to avoid talking about it. So anyway they were training us. I’m going to ignore the weird dream stuff here. Like one of the team members was a Smeargle like from pokemon wearing a Miss Frizzle costume and another was a poorly made Kermit the Frog sock puppet with human teeth. But anyway. At this point I regain yet another layer of fourth wall breaking and say hey. What you’re doing is fucked up and I’m not [character name], I’m [my irl name] and in the reality where I’m from we don’t have zombie viruses. I still didn’t recognize that I was in a dream. I think I might have been too curious to wake up.

This is where the dream stuff starts to break down because I guess I was waking up or something. I remember just trying to get on with my day but I hadn’t figured out that it was a dream yet and I could wake up from it so I kept seeing scenes from the unfolding zombie apocalypse. Lots of yellow-green vomit and infected slamming their heads against walls and screaming families and such. I tried to avoid it cause like… um. Yeah.

So I think I woke up a little but then I fell back asleep, enough to let me know I was in a dream and that knocked me out of my character and out of the universe of that. So now I was seeing the advertising material for the new installment of the story I had just lived through, apparently a comic. It was gorgeous. Think Fallout meets Walking Dead. Which is insane because I’ve never watched/played/read either of them. Apparently the zombie virus gets out and spreads for realsies. Lots of imagery of dusty highways and those green signs you see over highways telling you where it’s going. Apparently the dad character becomes the leader of the survivors and renames himself to Abraham Lincoln which was conveyed by a highway sign for like an Abraham Lincoln Parkway graffitied in support of his new regime. Awesome storytelling. Each book (I guess it was like a graphic novel? Comic in a series of installments) was called a Cycle and there was a new one coming out.

And like… this is really cool theming and stuff… the presence of so many like iconic American things situating it as a story about America and the cruel tricks we play on each other… the flashbacks to the Cold War era and the theme of government testing, of surveillance, of constant fear of a sudden apocalypse… the fuckin cat man. If you weren’t there you couldn’t have known it but it was so unsettling in the best way. A herald of great evil. And yes again I know Fallout does a bunch of the same stuff but the most Fallout-related media I’ve ever consumed is hbomberguy’s reviews of the games. I respect it as media but I can’t stress enough I don’t go there. So what like. How. Thanks brain???? I hate you though that was terrifying

Do you ever have a really disturbing, realistic dream that would, by all means, if you were a different person, make an incredible work of media, and you wake up not entirely convinced you didn’t just have a fuckign vision of the acclaimed epic comic (yes I’m sure it was a comic, I saw the promotional material for the next release in the series after having lived the first part of it) zombie apocalypse epic American Horde (yes it had a fucking title) I was asleep for less than three hours how did this happen. Shit now I have to write all this down who wants to hear about my fucked up dream

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

uh oh besties! didnt get that physical affection

[world-of-puppets]

Puppetry Lost Media

In honour of reaching 50 followers last week (now 55 followers, as of writing this) I decided to cover two subjects of great interest to me: puppetry (of course) and lost media.

Everybody online loves a good old bit of lost media. Whether it be being a part of the many searches for the media in question, or watching documentaries about them on sites like YouTube. I’ve been mildly addicted to the latter kind of content for a while. From what I’ve seen, though, there aren’t many videos or articles out there specifically covering lost puppetry. So, in no particular order, here are a couple of pieces of lost puppetry I found while scrolling through the lost media wiki.

銀河少年隊 - Ginga shounen-tai AKA Galaxy Boy Troop (1963 - 1965)

Osamu Tezuka is one of the most pioneering figures in Japanese art and animation. Starting as a manga artist in the 1940s inspired by the animated works of American studios such as Walt Disney and the Fliecer Brothers, he adapted and simplified many of the stylistic techniques of both artists to create his own signature style of big shiny eyes, physics defying hair and limited animation. A style that would go on to heavily influence the world of anime and manga as a whole.

But animation and graphic art were not the only mediums Tezuka would dabble in. Ginga Shounen-Tai, or Galaxy Boy Troop in english, was a television series that aired on the public broadcast channel NHK from April 7th, 1963 to April 1st, 1965. Running for 2 seasons with a total of 92 episodes.

The series was a mixture of marionette characters that utilised the Supermarionation marionette technique, popularised by Jerry Anderson’s Thunderbirds, and limited traditional animation. The story revolves around a child genius named Roy who leads a rag-tag group of heros around the galaxy in a rocket ship in order to revive the earth’s sun and later protect it from alien invaders.

Out of the 92 episodes that aired, only episode 67 still exists in its entirety with French subtitles, and the full episode can be found on YouTube with English subtitles uploaded by user Rare TezukaVids. According to user F-Man on the Tezuka in English forums, footage of episode 28 exists but with no audio, and episode 87’s animated segments exist without the marionette segments. F-Man also claims the reason for Galaxy Boy Troop’s disappearance is due to Tezuka not being proud of the series and having all episodes of it destroyed.

Personally, I think it’s a shame that pretty much all of this series is gone. From what I’ve seen in episode 67, it looks really charming. Tezuka’s signature character design style was adapted suprisingly well to marionettes, and the puppetry itself isn’t that bad either. I love the little face mechanisms like the blinking eyes, flapping mouths and others. It gives the puppets a lot of personality and charm. Like, just look at this old mans eyebrow mechanism and tell me you wouldn’t want to watch 92 episodes of this show;

Tinseltown (2007)

Tinseltown was a 15 minute sitcom pilot created by the Jim Henson company under thier Henson Alternative banner. The pilot was commissioned by the Logo Network and aired as part of the Alien Boot Camp programming block in 2007.

The pilot (and likely the series, had it been picked up by the logo network) features a cast of both puppets and live actors as characters. The premise revolves around Samson Kight, an anthropomorphic bull preformed by Brian Henson and drew Massey, and his partner Bobby Vegan, an anthropomorphic pig prefomed by Bill Barretta and Michelan Sisti, as they attempt to balance thier lives working in Hollywood with life as parents to thier sullen 12-year-old foster son, Foster, played by Paul Butcher. Other human characters included Mia Sara as Samson’s ex-wife Lena and Francesco Quinn as the family’s manservant Arturo.

The Tinseltown pilot used to be available on the Logo Network’s YouTube channel, but was later removed for unknown reason. Since then, the pilot has not been made available online. However the characters Samson and Bobby have made appearances in other Henson related works, such as the improv stage show Stuffed and Unstrung, where they played the role as the shows producers, and in a 2011 video on the Jim Henson Company YouTube channel celebrating Jim Hensons 75th birthday.

I find Tinseltown pretty interesting as I feel like it should be more noateable or known, considering that this is (as far as my knowledge goes) the first Jim Henson Company project featureing openly lgbtq characters as its leads, and would have been the first Henson show to do so had it been picked up. As someone who’s interested in lgbtq+ representation in creative media such as animation, I realised that there’s not many examples of canon lgbt characters in puppetry. The only ones aside from Samson and Bobby I could think off the top of my head would be Deet’s Dads from The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance and Rod from Avenue Q. Though, obviously, there could be more I’m not currently aware of. I don’t think the Tinseltown pilot was a masterpiece or anything. After all, there’s probably a couple of good reasons Logo didn’t pick it up for a full series. But I think it be cool if either Henson co. or Logo made this available online again, if just so we could appericate it as an interesting little footnote in the history of lgbtq rep in puppetry.

With that said, considering the pilot’s obscurity and the fact that it’s main couple haven’t been used in any Henson Related projects in almost ten years, as well as the possibility that there may be legalities preventing the Henson company from releasing it such as Logo still owning the rights, it’s unlikely we’ll see the Tinseltown pilot anytime soon.

Sonic Live in Sydney (1997 - 2000)

Sonic the Hedgehog is a fictional character no stranger to multiple interpretations of him and his universe across a diverse range of media. From the more light-hearted and comedic stylings of The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog and Cartoon Networks Sonic Boom cartoon series, to more serious faire such as the Sonic SatAM cartoon and the Sonic Adventure videogame duology. One of the more obscure and stranger adaptations of the character came in the form of Sonic Live in Sydney, a one an a half hour live show hosted at the former Sega World Sydney amusement park in Darling Harbor, Sydney, Australia. Originally beginning as a live show with actors in meet-and-greet style costumes, the show eventually was replaced with a puppet show during its last two years.

The shows plot was set in an alternate timeline whos continuity was a mix of the SatAM cartoon and Sonic the Hedgehog 3, where Doctor Robotnik’s Death Egg crash lands in Sydney, Australia instead of Angel Island and attempts to take over before being foiled by sonic and friends. According to Phillip Einfeld of Phillip Einfeld Puppetoons, the company that made the puppets, Sega felt the costumed actor version of the show wasn’t dynamic enough, and wished to replace it with a version featuring live puppets with animatronics. Both versions of the shows plot are identical.

While Sonic Live in Sydney’s soundtrack is available on YouTube, and some photos of the show are available on the Lost Media Wiki, no footage of either the costumed actors version or the puppet show version have resurfaced. The show was closed down in 1999, possibly due to cost, shortly before the Sega World park as a whole in 2000. So unless there is someone out there who viseted the show between 1998 or 1999 who recorded the show via a handheld camera, footage of both incarnations of the show are likely forever lost to time.

On a personal note, I don’t have much to say on this one other than how gloriously peek gaudy 90s Sonic the set/puppet design is. I have no doubt finding footage of these puppets in action would truly be a silly delight to behold...

Legend of Mary (year unknown)

This one is a little different from the other entries on this list as while the film itself in its entiraty is available on YouTube for anyone to view, the information surrounding Legend of Mary, specifically its year of release, remains a mystery as of writing this.

I have mentioned the film before on this blog so I’ll keep it brief here: in summary, Legend of Mary is a short film retelling of the Nativity featuring the Rod puppets of Austrian puppeteer Richard Teschner. the video was uploaded to YouTube by user canada 150 archive. I looked up the people credited in the film and was able to find most of them, but didn’t find Legend of Mary listed in thier credits, and was unable to find the film on sites like IMDB, tMDB or Letterboxd. I reached out to Canada 150 archive asking if they had any info regarding the Legend of Mary’s release date, and after a coupe of months, they replied saying they didn’t know.

And that’s as far as I got on my search for answers, if anyone of you guys has any information regarding Legend of Mary, then it be of huge help in finding the release date.

Sam and friends (1955 - 1961)

Sam and friends was the very first puppetry television series created by Jim Henson alongside his colabarator and future wife Jane Nebel. filmed in Washington, D.C. and airing twice daily on WRC-TV and the NBC affiliate in Washington, D.C. from May 9, 1955, to December 15, Sam and Friends would mark the first apperence of Kermit (though not yet as a frog) and paved the way for Henson’s iconic and revered legacy in the realm of puppetry on film and television.

With the impact this show had in mind, it may come as a shock to some that almost half of Sam and Friends, specifically, 42 of the 86 episodes, are considered lost. With 16 existing, 8 documented, 9 known from memory, plus 8 existing Esskay commercials and 1 memory-known Esskay commercial. Some taped episodes have been shown at venues such as the museum of the moving image while others have been erased. It’s unknown if copies of these erased episodes still exist.

This post would become far to long if I were too list every episode missing from Sam and Freinds, but if your curious, the lost media wiki article has a comprehensive list of all lost episodes.

Annnd that about it for this post. This type of content is pretty different from the stuff I usually post. So I’m egar to see what you guys think about it. If you enjoyed this article, want to see more like it or have ideas for what puppetry-related topics I should cover in the future. And again, thank you all so much for helping me reach 55 followers. Your support really does mean a lot to me, and I hope you enjoyed this as a follower milestone gift.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this dip into lost puppetry, and have a happy holiday season!

[hstyleshoney]

flawed - h.s

AU she has a new roommate and he’s not the worst 

Wordcount: 13K // slow-burn fluff with a small hint of angst and mutual-ish pining I suppose, strong language, alcohol use, sexual content

AN: This is my little College/Uni AU piece for @stylesharrys fallinharry10k celebration writing fest! And I got carried away. I’ve had the start of this in my drafts for like two years and this challenge kind of just got me motivated to finish it. I’m really happy with some parts of it and some I’m not so sure about...I hate endings... BUT I had really fun writing it and that is all that matters and hopefully someone will enjoy it. I’m just happy I managed to finish it after such a long time. I’d also really really appreciate some feedback on it so please share your thoughts! I don’t have too much experience writing like this so be nice pls haha. ENJOY! <3 

“Harry, you left your dirty dishes by the sink...  AGAIN!  Dunno how many times I have to remind you to clean up after yourself Put it away. Thx. :)”

Y/N took a deep breath to calm herself down and re-read the pink post-it note infront of her. He was going to be the death of her. He really was. Harry was in every other way the perfect roommate, well perfect was perhaps a bit excessive but he wasn’t the worst, except for the fact that he never took care of his stupid dirty dishes. It drove her mad. It took all her willpower to not smash his stupid little kermit the frog teacup into tiny little pieces whenever she saw it.

And yes, maybe it was irrational of her to get so worked up over a few dirty cups when everything else was going so well. But Y/N liked it when things were in order.

In the past two months that she had lived with Harry she had lost count of how many times she had asked him to wash up his used pans, plates and cups. The first time it happened she didn’t really mind. The second time -- also fine. But the third? That was when she started to get a little bit bothered. Because not only was it his dirty dishes from the same day. No. The plate and cup from the day before were still there on the counter as well. That was the first time she asked him to clean up after himself.

It was still fine though.

Y/N just told herself it was because Harry had previously lived in a student accommodation with a bunch of unruly boys and wasn’t used to picking up after himself. It was fine. He’d soon get it.

Only, he didn’t seem to get it.

Because weeks later she still had to remind him to wash up after he was done in the kitchen. It was like what she said to him went in one ear and out the other. It took her another week before she started suspecting he was leaving it out on purpose to irritate her, which well, it worked. It only annoyed her further.

The amount of tea that boy drank was truly worrying. She had been told she drank a lot of tea, but she seemed to have met her match in Harry. At least judging by all the cups he left around the flat. They were everywhere. Literally. She had even found one under the bathroom sink just a couple days ago and she didn’t even bother asking him how it got there. She had simply just left him a post-it note asking him to put it away.

Because she was certainly not going to go around and pick up after him. He was a grown boy and therefore capable of cleaning up after himself. She wasn’t his mother.

It was basic housekeeping.

She ripped the little pink post-it note off the pad and stuck it up on Harry’s bedroom door so he couldn’t possibly miss it. She stared at it for another minute, pleased with herself, before getting her backpack and left to go to her lecture. It was her own way of telling him off; leaving post-it notes for him. A more passive-aggressive approach had always been her preferred strategy, it made her feel slightly less annoying, and anytime she had left him a note in the morning the dirty dishes had magically disappeared when she came home later.

So there was no reason for her to stop leaving them for him.

--

Apart from that Harry really was the best roommate she could’ve asked for. The best one in the short amount of time she had had to find a new one anyways. Lexi, her very good friend from home and roommate before Harry, had decided to drop out of uni a week before courses were due to start again after summer; leaving her alone with a flat she couldn’t afford on her own. Y/N couldn’t be mad at her though because she knew how unhappy Lexi was in Manchester. She wasn’t enjoying her course and she missed her family. Y/N couldn’t force Lexi to stay just because she didn’t want to find a new roommate. She wasn’t that selfish.

It just wasn’t ideal. Everyone she knew already had a place to live and she was feeling pretty defeated about the whole thing. She liked her flat and didn’t want to give it up. Her parents offered to help her pay rent until she could find someone to live with again but she didn’t want to take her parents money. It didn’t feel right. So when her friend Lucy mentioned that her boyfriend Nate had a friend who needed a place to live she offered the mysterious man Lexi’s old room without a second thought.

Then Harry showed up outside her door two days later with a large suitcase and a couple of moving boxes.

They didn’t really talk all that much their first week of living together. He mostly kept to himself, trying to get settled in and get used to being back at uni after a long summer. All she knew about him at that point was that he was the same age as her and that he was studying music. Something she probably would’ve figured out sooner or later on her own, because every evening she could hear him play his guitar from inside his bedroom. She couldn’t complain though. It was quite soothing actually, and she wanted to tell him that.

But she also didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable knowing she laid awake listening to him play and then stop because he didn’t want her to eavesdrop.

So Y/N never said anything.

Their second week of living together was when she picked up on his annoying habit of leaving the kitchen a mess. It was also that week he offered to make her a cup of tea for the first time and she would never admit it outloud but it was probably the best cup of tea she had ever had.

But since he left his own cups all around the flat she also refused to tell him that.

By the third week they started having dinner together and asked each other about their days. They were slowly getting to know one another and Y/N realised for the first time that she did in fact enjoy Harry’s company. That Sunday they spent the entire evening binge watching the first season of a scandinavian crime drama on netflix and shared a tub of ice cream.  

Then they were suddenly in the same group of friends.

Because with Lexi gone Y/N started hanging out with Lucy more and Lucy was dating Nate and Harry was always hanging out with Nate. Which all just led to Tara, Declan and Connor always being around as well. Their flat had, since Harry moved in, turned into the hotspot for the gang to hang out at. She didn’t mind much, because she liked them and she had never really been a part of a group like them before. It was nice. Lexi moving had in a weird way been a blessing in disguise.

So there really wasn’t anything else to complain about when it came to Harry as a roommate.

Well, maybe one more thing.

And she usually met that reason every Sunday morning in their kitchen after a night out.

That Sunday however took a different turn than what she had gotten used to.

“You told me you didn’t have a girlfriend!”

“Harry,“ Y/N said slowly and narrowed her eyes at him. The girl next to them, whose hair was dyed a rich red color, was only clad in one of Harry’s old band t-shirts and stared at the two of them with frantic eyes.

“Y/N, babe, I’m so sorry,” Harry said and stared at Y/N pleadingly. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on!?” The red-haired girl demanded and crossed her arms over her chest and Y/N could’ve sworn she did a little stomp. “You told me last night that you were single!”

“Yes Harry, I’d love an explanation,” Y/N said and mimicked the redhead by crossing  her arms over her chest. She probably would’ve laughed if the situation had been any different because the stranger in the kitchen was glaring at Harry with such a hatred in her eyes and Y/N had never seen a girl look at him that way before. 

And it was still funny, but it would’ve been funnier if she wasn’t a part of it. Harry on the other hand only ignored the angry girl and kept the lie going, focusing on his roommate.

“Love, I’m so fucking sorry. It didn’t mean anything! I swear, I was drunk and-”

“Ugh, oh my god,” the redhead cried out, interrupting him. She was fuming and her face was as red as her hair. Before Y/N had the chance to say anything else, to resolve the situation, the redhead stepped forward and slapped Harry across the face. “You’re such a fucking asshole!”

Then she turned around and Y/N’s first instinct was to take a step back because that was how intimidating she looked with her red wild hair and red cheeks. But Y/N, very unexpectedly, found herself being embraced in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so sorry! I swear I had no idea. He told me he didn’t have a girlfriend. You deserve so much better! Leave him.”

And just like that the girl was gone, marching back to Harry’s room to get changed into her own clothes again, and left the two of them alone in the kitchen. Y/N at loss for words and Harry rubbing the side of his face.

It didn’t take very long before the sound of the front door being slammed shut echoed through the flat and made the walls around them shake.

“You’re disgusting,” Y/N muttered then and walked past him to put the kettle on. She had a headache from all the wine she had consumed the previous night and whatever it was that had just happened hadn’t exactly helped her feel any better. She had only wanted a nice cup of tea, and maybe some toast. She had definitely not been prepared, nor expected, to be part of a terrible made-up triangle drama. Not this early.

“Aw, c’mon,” Harry laughed and finally let his face break out into a grin. “I’ve tried to get her to go home all morning but she wouldn’t take any hints. I had no choice.”

Y/N turned her head to glare at him and pointed a warning finger in his direction

“If you bring a girl back you get rid of her yourself. I want no part in your disgusting shenanigans,” she told him. “You deserved that slap.”

“I didn’t even say anything to her,” Harry said and hopped up to take a seat on the counter. “She just assumed.”

“Why would she even assume that?” Y/N asked and eyed him suspiciously “If I was your girlfriend I wouldn’t randomly appear in the kitchen the next morning in my pyjamas. You must’ve told her something.”

“I didn’t,” Harry denied and put his hands up, still grinning. She rolled her eyes. “I swear! She just assumed.”

“Yeah well, you shouldn’t have let her,” she told him and took out two slices of bread to put in the toaster. “Besides, do you have to bring a girl back every weekend?”

“Do you have to go on like five dates a week?”

“I don’t,” she glared at him again. Harry raised his eyebrows at her knowingly and she looked away from him as the next few words left her lips. “It was only three this week.”

“Oh right,” Harry laughed. “Excuse me.”

“Shut up.”

“At least I’m getting something good out of it,” he continued to laugh. “I still don’t understand why you have to go on so many dates all the time. What do you get out of it?”

“I wanna find love,” she shrugged. “Is that so bad?”

“No, not at all,” Harry told her. “But dating douchebags ain’t gonna bring you love.”

“Yeah because sleeping with someone new every weekend is so much better,” she replied sarcastically and watched as Harry slid down from the counter when the kettle made a small noise to let them know it was ready.

“Like I said,” he started with a smirk and took down two tea cups from the cupboard. “At least I get something good out of it. You should try.”

She rolled her eyes again but didn’t say anything else as her toast popped up from the toaster. Her dating life was a running joke among her friends and she had learned to ignore the comments they made. She wanted to find love, so she wasn’t going to sit around and wait for it. Some may say she was a bit desperate, and maybe she was, but it wasn’t her fault every guy she met was wrong for her. They were all either too clingy or too uncommitted.

Or maybe she was just a bit too picky.

Either way, she did go on a lot of dates when her schedule allowed her to. She wanted what everyone else around her seemed to have. Her parents acted more in love with each other every time she saw them, even after 30 years of marriage. One of her sisters had just gotten engaged to her long-term boyfriend and her oldest sister had been married for three years already and was expecting her second child. Her younger cousin got married that summer. Any time Y/N traveled back home all her relatives asked her when she was going to find herself a nice young man. It was exhausting. Y/N was stressed. Pressured. So she dated a lot. There was nothing wrong with that, yet people liked to mock her for it, especially Harry since he was the one who she came back home to after a bad date.

He’d usually burst into her room after a date, wanting all the details only so he could laugh about everything that had gone wrong. But then he also always made her a cup of tea and got her some biscuits.

He wasn’t the worst.

“Hey,” Harry said and held out the tea he had made for her. “You wanna watch an episode of The Bridge?”

Y/N stared at him for a second and for the first time ever her heart skipped a beat. It was no secret that Harry was unbelievably attractive, the kind of attractiveness that terrified you before you got to know him. If he hadn’t showed up outside her door she never would’ve had the guts to talk to him. After getting to know him though he was just Harry; her roommate.

But there was something about him right there and then, dressed casually in sweats and a plain t-shirt as he handed her a cup of tea in their kitchen, that just got to her. She quickly snapped herself out of her thoughts to stop her mind from wandering too far and took the tea from him. Must be the hangover.

“Sure, but only one episode,” she replied and picked up her plate of toast as well. “I have to read some shit for my seminar tomorrow and I can’t keep procrastinating.”

--

They ended up watching more than just one episode.

And Y/N never got around to reading the chapter she needed to read. She only skimmed through it on her way to her seminar, which is why she made a fool out of herself when the lecturer pointed straight at her and asked her to share her thoughts. She wanted to disappear.

And her day didn’t get any better when she stepped in dog shit on her way home.

And it certainly didn’t get any better when she accidentally knocked over her cup of tea and spilled it all over the rug. So instead of getting to lie on the couch and feel sorry for herself, like she had planned, she had to try and save the white rug from getting a stain. It wasn’t a great day.

It was also at that moment Harry came back home; when she was sitting on the floor, scrubbing the rug furiously and muttering profanities under her breath.

“You know,” Harry began to make his presence known. “There’s something about what you're doing right now that’s really turning me on.”  

Y/N stopped her scrubbing and looked up at him, not impressed by his joke or by the stupid smirk on his face.

“Oh fuck off,” she swore and simply raised her hand and her middle finger at him. “Or make yourself useful and get some baking soda or something.”

“Bad day?” he asked while putting his guitar case down. She only glared at him.

“What do you think?”

“I’ll just get the baking soda.”

“Good choice.”

They cleaned the rug together and after a good half an hour of scrubbing and googling the best tricks to remove tea stains they managed to save it from getting ruined. Y/N slumped down on the couch again, exhausted and defeated, and took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down.

What a shit day.

Harry made her a new cup and put away everything they had used to get rid of the spilled one before joining her on the small couch.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked and squeezed his brows together, uncertain how to approach her.  

“I just had a shit day,” she sighed deeply. “Completely fucked up my seminar.”

“I’m sure you didn’t.”

“Ha!” Y/N scoffed. “No, I did. But it was my own fault though, so I can't really cry about it.”

“Well,” Harry scratched the back of his head. “Can I do anything to make you feel better? We could get some pizza and watch a movie or something?”

“I can’t,” she grumbled. “I have an assignment I have to finish by Wednesday and considering how shit I did today I have to focus. I can’t fuck this up too.”

“You have to eat something though.”

“Yeah, I will. I’ll just heat up some of that leftover pasta later or something,” she assured him and maybe if she hadn’t been so frustrated with herself she wouldn’t have confused the way her heart was racing inside her chest with stress; when in reality it was beating extra for the green eyed boy next to her.

Y/N stayed in her room for the rest of the afternoon into the evening, reading and typing away. She wouldn’t say it was going well, but she didn't want to throw her computer out the window and she always appreciated those rare moments.

She could also hear Harry roaming around in the rest of the flat and later on the low strum of his guitar. She smiled to herself when she heard it and didn’t even realise she was humming along to the melody he was playing until he stopped.

And it wasn’t until her stomach growled loudly that she remembered she hadn’t actually had any dinner yet. She made sure to save her work, hitting ‘save’ an extra time because you could never save a document too many times, before closing her laptop and standing up. Her muscles ached from how long she had been in the same position and she winced a little as she stretched them out.

Then her stomach rumbled and she was once again reminded of how hungry she was. It was nearing 11 pm and she hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, which was not good, and she kind of regretted not accepting Harry’s offer about getting pizza before.

But when she made it into the kitchen there was a pink post-it note on the fridge, only this time she wasn’t the one who put it there.

I got some pizza earlier, saved you a few slices in case you want some instead of that old pasta xx H :)

A warm feeling spread through her body as she read his little note, and she couldn’t help but notice that Harry had a surprisingly neat handwriting. It was cute. Both the handwriting and the message. It put a smile on her face.

While the pizza was being reheated she decided to go find Harry and thank him for the nice gesture. She was just about to knock on his door when she noticed that the TV was still on and she spotted him on the couch.

Asleep.

And it was probably cuter than both his handwriting and the message combined.

His whole body took up the small couch; his legs dangled over the armrest and he had his arms crossed over his chest to make himself smaller. There was a slight frown on his face, presumably from the dream he was having, but it was endearing in a way to still see him so relaxed. He had changed out of the blue jeans he had worn last time she saw him and had on his black shorts and the knitted jumper he always just wore around the flat. He looked comfortable. Homely.

A part of her wanted to run back to her room and get her phone so she could snap a picture of him before he woke up.

But an even bigger part of her stopped her from doing so because it felt inappropriate to take a picture of him sleeping. She wasn’t so sure Harry would appreciate her taking pictures of him without him knowing either. So she refrained.

Then, almost like he could feel her watching him sleep like a total creep, he slowly blinked his eyes open, and honestly... it was probably the cutest thing yet. She blushed as he caught her staring.

“Oh, hey,” he said, his voice low and rough, and rubbed his eyes to get the sleep out of them. “What time is it?”

“Mm it’s about 11.”

“Shit, didn’t realise I fell asleep,” he grumbled and sat up, running a hand through his hair. “Did you finish your assignment?”

“Almost,” she told him and smiled softly. “Thanks for the pizza.”

“No worries,” he said and matched her smile.

“Also, I’m sorry for being so cranky before. I was just a bit stressed.”

Harry shook his head.

“It’s okay,” he reassured her. “We’ve all been there.”

Y/N ended up joining him on the couch for a bit after the pizza was done. They didn’t talk much while she ate and Harry flicked through the channels on the TV, before he eventually decided on an old romcom. 

When Harry had first shown up outside the flat she had been nervous about living with him. She had only ever lived with girls before, but it had been easier to get along with him than she had first expected. Not that she had heard anything bad about him; Lucy had nothing but nice things to say when she first told her about Nate’s friend who needed a place to live.

She had just assumed it was going to be harder to live with a boy compared to a girl. But Harry made it easy, aside from the dirty dishes and the unknown women in her kitchen Sunday mornings of course, and he was slowly becoming one of her closest friends. While it was terrifying it also felt like the most natural thing. Like he was meant to be in her life.

Which is why she felt so stupid for what happened next.

“They make love seem so easy in these romcoms,” Y/N complained with a huff. “Why don’t I have a gorgeous guy pining after me? I just want someone to have a secret crush on me and then make a big grand gesture. Is that too much to ask?”

“How do you know you don’t?” Harry questioned and she snorted.

“I highly doubt it. Who would that be?”

Harry shrugged.

“Who knows,” he said. “It’s kinda the point of having someone secretly crushing on you, innit?”

“Oh whatever,” she grumbled and Harry laughed. “You have no say in this. I see the way girls stare at you whenever we go out. You probably have a handful of secret admirers. ”

“Are you forgetting the fact that you go on more dates than the rest of us combined?” Harry pointed out and raised his brows at her. “You probably have more admirers than anyone else I know.”

“Not true.”

“So true,” Harry insisted. “You need to stop trying so hard and maybe just let love find you instead.”

“That’s probably the most cliche thing someone has ever told me,” she said and rolled her eyes. “What am I supposed to do then? Sit around and twiddle my thumbs and wait for someone to come knocking on our door and say they love me?”

“No, not at all,” Harry frowned. “I just think that maybe you need to open your eyes and take a step back. Lower your expectations and don’t be so picky. You’re not going to find Prince charming. No one is flawless.”

“You know what? It’s too late to be having this conversation,” she told him and stood up. There was something about what he just said that made her heart sink a little inside her chest. “I’m going to bed.”

“Hey, you okay?” Harry said and caught her wrist to stop her from leaving. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“It’s okay,” she said and swallowed thickly. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.” His hand was hot on her skin and she couldn’t take her eyes away from his long fingers and how he traced his thumb across her wrist in small circles. 

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise.”

He really didn’t. Y/N wasn’t sure why she had suddenly gotten so upset; why she took what he said to heart. It made her feel like a brat almost. She was used to people making fun of her dating life but she didn’t like this. 

She didn’t want people to think she was shallow or impossible to please. Especially not Harry.  

Because that wasn’t the case. There were plenty of good guys out there and she was far from perfect herself. She had a lot of flaws. Y/N had just never clicked with anyone in the way she wanted to and she wasn’t going to get into a relationship with someone she didn’t feel she connected with one hundred percent.

“Okay,” Harry said with a heavy sigh and let go of her wrist. “Goodnight then.”

“Night.”

Harry still had a frown on his face as he watched her take her plate back into the kitchen and Y/N could feel her pulse racing as she felt his eyes on her. It was awkward and she was embarrassed for how she had just handled everything. It wasn’t even a big deal. He hadn’t said anything she hadn’t thought of herself before. Harry was just giving her advice. 

So why did she feel so upset? 

It was the first time she had ever gotten even the tiniest bit self-conscious about the amount of dates she went on, and as she crawled into bed she couldn’t help but wonder if she felt like this because it was Harry.

It was also the first time she realised she cared a lot about what he thought of her.

She wanted Harry to like her.

--

Y/N got her period a day later and just like that everything she had felt on Monday made so much sense. Of course. Luckily everything was completely fine between her and Harry the morning after she left him on the couch and they even baked some brownies Tuesday evening because Y/N was craving chocolate, which also made sense when she woke up with stains in her underwear and cramps in her lower region on Wednesday.

Despite that though she had quite a good day. She managed to finish her assignment in time and she didn’t hate it; she was maybe even a little bit pleased with it. She bought herself a new pair of sneakers that were on sale and an eyeshadow palette she had been wanting for a while. Her and Harry got chinese food for dinner before meeting the rest of the gang down at the pub.

Wednesdays meant quiz night and Y/N teamed up with Tara and together they managed to win first prize which gave them £50 to spend at the bar.

Y/N blamed the alcohol for everything that happened after that.  

She tripped on her way over to the toilets. She accidentally managed to somehow elbow Connor in the face. She also spilled half a pint of beer all over herself, leaving a huge wet stain on her trousers so it looked like she pissed herself.

But she was still in good spirits.

Until she spotted Harry at the bar with a tall gorgeous girl. Their faces were close and even from the booth she was sitting in she could see his dimples. It left a sour taste in her mouth watching the pair talk and it annoyed her how easily Harry once again had a girl swooning over him. Why was he even off flirting with some random girl when they were all supposed to be there together? And why was he so good at it? And why did he look so good doing it?

Y/N rolled her eyes when the girl giggled and reached out to touch his bicep. Disgusting.

“Hello?” Lucy snapped her fingers in front of Y/N’s face. “You still with us?”

“What?” She tore her eyes away from the scene that was taking place at the bar and turned her attention back to her two friends. “Yeah, of course.” She faked a laugh and took a long sip from her beer. Lucy and Tara shared a look, but they didn’t say anything else about it which she was thankful for.

Mostly because she had no idea how to explain any of it. She glanced over at Harry and the girl again and tried to understand why her chest suddenly felt so tight. It must be the alcohol.

And oh, right, of course, she had her period.

It was her hormones; the only logical explanation.

Satisfied with the answer to her own confusion she threw herself back into the conversation around the table, ignoring the fact that she could still see Harry and the girl in the corner of her eye.  

Then Declan showed up at their table with a round of vodka shots for everyone because he knew the bartender and got them for free.

Who was she to say no to free shots?

But she really should’ve.

The strong liquid didn’t sit right with her and instead of giving her a bigger buzz her head felt heavy and her ears were ringing. She also felt a little bit sick; the chinese food she had had with Harry slowly rising in the back of her throat. Taking shots had never really ended well for her but drunk Y/N still always seemed to think it was a fantastic idea.

It was a good thing she didn’t have a lecture or anything the next day, because her hangover was not going to be pretty.

And Y/N didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone before she unexpectedly jumped out of her seat, got her coat and stumbled outside. She needed fresh air and she couldn’t wait.

The second she stepped outside into the cold autumn night she instantly felt better. The nausea from the stuffy pub atmosphere disappeared and she sat down on the curb next to the road and took a few deep breaths. 

“Hey there Quiz-Queen, you alright?”

Harry.

She glanced up at him and even though he had called her by the nickname she had jokingly given herself after winning first-prize he was looking down at her with concerned eyes. Her purse hung from his shoulder, she hadn’t even realised she had left it behind, and he had his own long and vibrant plaid coat wrapped around himself; protecting him from the cold.

“Yeah,” she said and took another deep breath. “I just needed some air.”

“Hm,” Harry hummed, relieved she was okay. “Maybe next time let the rest of us know where you’re going and don’t just get up and leave.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Not at all,” Harry assured and shook his head. “Just want to make sure you’re safe. I don’t think that £50 bar tab was the best thing for a lightweight like you.”

“Oiii,” she pouted. “That’s mean. You’re just jealous you didn’t win. How many right answers did you guys get again? 6 out of 20?”

“It’s not about winning, it’s about having fun,” Harry said with a smug smile and a twinkle in his eyes that he only ever got when he thought he was being clever. “And I had fun.”  

“Oh give it a rest,” she scoffed but there was still a smile on her face. “You love to win, don’t stand there and pretend to be a good loser when I know how competitive you can get.”  

Harry laughed and she felt butterflies come alive inside her stomach as she watched his dimples appear. This time for her and not for some stupid girl at the bar.  

“C’mon Silly-girl, let’s get you home,” he said, ignoring her comment about him being a sore loser, and offered his hand to help her up. His fingers were strong around hers and her skin was tingling as she watched her own hand disappear in his.

Once back up on her feet she had to hold onto Harry for a second to stop her head from spinning so much. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol anymore or her hormones... or if it was merely just because of Harry.

It was just easier to blame the alcohol or her period, so that’s what she did.

Harry had an arm around her to support her swaying body as they made their way over to the bus stop, holding her close to him. He smelled like beer and the shampoo she always secretly sniffed when she took a shower. It was something she would never admit out loud, or sober, but she loved the smell of it.

Sometimes she had considered using it on her own hair, it was just so fresh and relaxing, so Harry, but it was also one of those things she wasn’t so sure he would appreciate her doing. 

“We should’ve stopped to get some food,” she muttered and slumped back against her seat on the bus. “I’m starving and I’m craving something salty.”

“I can make us something when we get home,” Harry offered.

“Really?” Y/N perked up. ”Could you?”

“Yeah, I’m a bit hungry as well.”

“Oh my gosh, have I ever told you you’re the best roommate?”

“Pretty sure you haven’t,” Harry laughed. "I do, however, have a lot of post-it notes that one could argue suggest the opposite."

“I saw you talking to a girl earlier. She was very pretty.” It slipped out before Y/N had the chance to think twice about it. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with me now and didn’t get to go home with her.”

Harry didn’t laugh at that but he still had the same twinkle in his eyes as before and a fond smile on his lips.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said and suddenly his hand was on her knee and he gave it a gentle squeeze; causing her hormones to act up again so her heart skipped a beat. “You’re not the worst person to be stuck with.”

--

As expected her hangover wasn’t pretty the next day.

She woke up with a raging headache and an upset stomach. After Harry had made them both some food she had been too tired to go wash her make-up off so the girl staring back at her in the bathroom mirror had black mascara smudges all around her eyes and golden glitter eyeshadow smeared across her bloated face. It was a tragedy. She was a tragedy.

However, the thing that made her hangover feel even worse was when she walked into the kitchen and saw the all dirty pans and plates from her and Harry’s late night meal. Pangs of guilt instantly swept through her. Harry was already gone by the time she woke up. He had an early seminar, which she knew he did because he had told her before they met up with the others at the pub, and she felt terrible that she had kept him up half the night only to make her food. He couldn’t have gotten more than two hours of sleep and it filled her up with guilt.

So much guilt she didn’t leave him a post-it note telling him the kitchen was a mess, because that would’ve just been super fucking rude since it was her fault he was even in the kitchen cocking at 3 am in the first place. Instead she washed up and decided to go out and get his favorite snacks as a thank you, and also because she was craving more chocolate and a fizzy drink.

Being hungover while having your period was really not the best combination.

Y/N hid her tousled hair under a beanie and put on a quick layer of foundation in an attempt to cover up her blotchy skin. It didn’t really help her feel much better about her appearance so she decided to put on a scarf as well to disguise herself as much as possible, just in case she’d run into someone she knew on her way to the store. She didn’t want to be recognised. Not today.

But of course Y/N wasn’t that lucky.

She ran into three people from her course, who all stopped her and chit-chatted to her about their seminars and latest assignment, all while she stood there with a basket full of various brands of crisps, drinks and candy feeling and looking like an absolute troll.

And that wasn’t even the worst.

No.

Because naturally it was also the day she bumped into someone, quite literally, in the stairs on her way back up to the flat.

Y/N yelped and accidentally dropped her bag of snacks as she tried to find her balance. A pair of hands caught her by the shoulders before she fell backwards and when she looked up to see who she had crashed into her whole face turned red.

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” she apologized with wide eyes, her heart beating fast inside her chest.

“No worries,” the man in front of her said and removed his hands from her shoulders, but she kind of wished he hadn’t because his voice was so deep and smoky her knees weakened as he spoke.

Not to mention he had the most stunning pair of eyes she had ever seen. They were a deep, earthy brown color with perfectly long eyelashes she could only ever dream of. He was utterly breathtaking with his long dark hair, scruffy stubble and nose piercing, that she usually didn’t really like on boys but the stranger in front of her made it work. Oh how he made it work.

And as he leaned down to pick up her bag for her she caught a whiff of his fragrance and her knees were seconds away from giving up all together.

“Thank you,” she managed to croak out as he handed her the bag full of snacks and prayed he hadn’t seen what was in it. She looked pathetic enough as it was and she racked her brain for something else to say but there was nothing. Y/N was left completely gobsmacked by the breathtaking man she had just crashed into. Her cheeks only getting hotter and hotter for every second she stood there like a total idiot just staring at him in awe. “I’m Y/N.”

Y/N wanted nothing more than to just sink through the floor in embarrassment. The stranger, thankfully, reached out and shook her extended hand with an amused smile on his lips.

“Luke.”

Luke let his eyes wander up and down her body, taking in her attire, and she had never felt so unattractive as she did in that moment. Why didn’t she at least take a shower before going out? Fuck.

“Right,” she nodded and reached up to adjust her beanie a little, as if it was going to make her look any better. “So eh... do you live here? I haven’t seen you around before.”

What was she doing?

“I do,” Luke confirmed. “I moved in a couple days ago.”

“Awesome.”

Awesome? Fucking idiot. 

She was definitely losing her mind. While she did go on a lot of dates she had not been blessed with the ability to make small talk. 

“I’m guessing you live here as well?” Luke asked and ran a hand through his hair to push back a couple of strands from his face. It was the hottest thing she had ever seen.

“Yeah,” Y/N confirmed, her mouth dry, and she licked her lips nervously. “I’m on the top floor... aaand I should really get going. My roommate is waiting for me.”

“Of course.”

“It was nice to meet you though. Welcome to the building.” Her heart was still racing. “Again, I’m sorry for crashing into you.”

“Like I said, don’t worry about it. It was good to meet you too,” Luke told her and gave her a small wink. “See you around.”

And Y/N didn’t know how it happened but a strange cackle escaped her lips as he winked at her and she ran off before she could witness his reaction to it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she muttered to herself all the way up to her and Harry’s flat.

Once she got inside she fell back against the door and tried to catch her breath, from both practically running up five flights of stairs and the encounter she had just had with probably the hottest man alive.

She really was pathetic.

After she got herself together she shrugged off her coat and pulled off her stupid beanie, cursing herself yet again for not taking a shower before going to the store. She could at least have put on a cute outfit. But no. She went out looking like a slob.  

And as she sauntered into the flat she realised that Harry was home again, and with him were Nate, Lucy and Connor as well. 

“Well if it isn’t the Quiz-Queen herself,” Nate teased when he saw her and bowed his head mockingly from where he was sitting on the couch. “Glad to see that you’re still alive after last night.”

“We have a new neighbour,” Y/N informed them, ignoring Nate and his teasing comments, because the new neighbour was the only thing on her mind. “I crashed into him on my way up. Literally. I made a complete fool out of myself.”

“Nothing new then,” Connor joked.

“Ha-ha,” Y/N said dryly. “For real though, he was the hottest man I’ve ever seen. He was unreal.”

“Really?” It got Lucy’s attention and she perked up from where she was sitting on the couch with Nate. “What did he look like?”

“Like a damn model right off the runway,” Y/N groaned and collapsed in one of the armchairs. “I’m telling you, he was unreal. Eyelashes that went on forever. Tall. Cheekbones that could cut glass and his hair was soooooo shiny. He didn’t have a single flaw. He even made a nose piercing look good and you know how I feel about those.”

“Aw, I wanna see him too,” Lucy pouted. “Did you get his name?”

“Luke.”

“So our serial dater has another date then I’m assuming,” Connor sniggered.

“I wish,” Y/N replied with a sigh. “I could hardly get a word out. I just stood there and stared at him like a creep.”

“You could always go over and ask to borrow a cup of sugar,” Nate suggested and wiggled his eyebrows. “And then just suck him off to return the favor.”

“You’re an idiot,” Y/N said and raised her middle finger towards him. It also earned him a slap on the arm from Lucy as she scolded her boyfriend. Connor laughed and made a comment about how it would be the perfect porn scene.

And it was also in that moment Y/N realised Harry hadn’t said anything since she had joined them. She glanced over at him where he sat in the armchair across from her and frowned. He looked tired and it caused the guilt in her to rise up again. In addition to that it troubled her that he wasn’t saying anything about the new neighbour or joining in on the jokes. He just sat in his seat and kept his eyes glued to the TV and the random show that was airing. “Harry?”

“What?”

There was something about how he spoke and how he turned to look at her that made her feel even worse. His voice was taut and low. His eyes burned right through her. It was far from the Harry she was used to. She wanted to ask him what was wrong but she also didn’t want to do so in front of the others if they hadn’t noticed it themselves.

“Um, I got some snacks if you want some,” Y/N said instead. She wasn’t sure if the others had noticed at all but she didn’t like it. Maybe he was angry with her for making him stay up so late? What if it had made him late for his seminar?

“Thank you,” he replied half-heartedly and turned his attention back to the TV without another word. Confusion filled the room and she met Lucy’s baffled expression for a split second. Okay they had noticed. Fuck. Y/N looked at Harry again and there was so much she wanted to ask him but at the same time she was at a loss for words. It wasn’t like him to be so tense. Not one bit.

She didn’t like it.

--

On Saturday they were all, once again, out getting drunk. After her hangover on Thursday Y/N had told herself she wasn’t going to drink again that week, but Harry was still being acting weird around her so she was easily persuaded.

Because she needed a drink.

Harry hadn’t really done anything, which was also part of the problem. She hadn’t seen him all Friday or Saturday, not until he turned up for pre-drinks at Connor’s flat. And once he was there he didn’t even look at her or talk to her. It bothered her. A lot. She hadn’t had the chance to ask him what was wrong and nothing was making sense. She tried to remember if she had said something inappropriate to him on Wednesday, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t figure out why he was being off with her.

Which is why, after a couple of drinks, she took the first chance she got to confront him about it.

She spotted him alone at one of the tables inside the club they were at and marched right up, ignoring the people she accidentally bumped into on her way, and plopped herself down on the leather sofa next to him. The beer she was carrying spilled over in her hand as she did but she paid no attention to it and Harry looked at her with questioning eyes.

“What’s going on with you?” Y/N wasted no time. The music was loud around them and she had to lean into him to make sure he heard her, his curls tickled her upper lip from how close she was. Harry only shrugged.

“Nothing is going on.”

“Oh really? Could’ve fooled me,” she said, almost shouting because of the music, and rolled her eyes. “You’re acting strange.”

“Nothing is going on,” Harry repeated and pursed his lips, looking away from her. Y/N tilted her head forward, to force him to look at her again, and waved her hand in front of his face.

“Look at me then,” she cried out in frustration. “Stop ignoring me and tell me what’s going on!”

It wasn’t the best spot for them to be having a conversation. A couple of people from the tables around them looked over curiously and the dim lights and loud music of club made it harder than what she would’ve liked. She had originally planned to talk to him that morning but he had gone out before she even woke up and it was the last sign she needed to know that he was avoiding her. So talking to him at a busy club felt like the only option. 

She flinched back as Harry unexpectedly turned to face her, almost knocking his head into hers.

”You know for wanting to find love so badly you’re really fucking blind.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Y/N frowned. Harry scoffed.

“You’re so oblivious,” he began. “If you just stopped being so desperate and so obsessed with finding the perfect guy for one damn second then maybe you’d-” Harry stopped himself and pressed his lips together in a thin line as he looked down at the beer in his hands. 

“Then what Harry?” she demanded, and didn’t even bother to try calm the anger that was stirring inside her. Harry ignoring her made her feel worse than she ever could’ve imagined. Nothing could’ve prepared her for it. She hated it. “I wouldn’t be so unlovable?”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Don’t,” Harry warned. “You know I would never say that. Don’t be daft.”  

“Do I?” she kept challenging him. The alcohol in her bloodstream gave her enough courage to not back down. Even if the loud music made it harder to hear what the other one was saying there was no way she was going to drop it. She needed to know what was going on. She couldn’t go another day with Harry ignoring her; she was too used to having him around for him to just cut her off.

“Yes, you do,” he spat.

“But you think I’m desperate?” she spat back and Y/N wasn’t sure why she was picking a fight with him in the middle of a full packed club, but she was.

Because at least he was talking to her.

“Yeah I do,” Harry admitted and licked his lips. She struggled to breathe a little after that. Her chest felt too tight. “Why are you so set on having the perfect relationship? No couple is perfect.”

“Lucy and Nate are,” she stated, not wanting her facade to falter in front of him. Her throat was dry but her eyes were burning with wet tears because she hated this. She hated it so much.

“No, they’re not,” Harry sneered loudly. “Both of them are far from fucking perfect. Nate is a menace and Lucy is a nutter.”

“Harry, don’t be a dick.”

“What? So just because they’re my friends I’m only allowed see the good in them? I still love both of them and they still love each other even if they’re not perfect,” he insisted. “You know they end up arguing like every night we go out, right? Over something stupid Nate said or some insane shit Lucy did. Do you know how many times Lucy has asked me for advice when it comes to Nate? They’re not perfect.”

“So I’m desperate because I want to find someone who is perfect for me?”

“What if you already have?”

“What?”

The music was still loud around them but suddenly the only thing she could hear was her own beating heart.

And suddenly she became aware of just how close the two of them actually were. Harry’s nose brushed against hers as his mouth carefully, barely, grazed her lips. His breath was hot on her face and oh wow, had his eyelashes always been that long?

Y/N wanted to reach out and touch him, but the way he was looking at her made her unable to move any part of her body. She was frozen; waiting for him to make the next move because she was far too overwhelmed by his presence to do anything herself. He was so close. Too close -- but at the same time not close enough. She wondered if he could hear her heart as well. 

“Oi, oi!”

Out of the blue Declan flopped down next to her on the sofa and just like that she was brought back into reality and away from Harry’s green eyes. Declan had two pints of beer with him and grinned at the two of them; clueless to what he had just interrupted. He didn’t come alone though, soon the rest of the gang had gathered around the small table. All so clueless.

Y/N watched as Harry drank what was left of his beer and glared at Declan and the rest while she tried to stop her head from spinning so much. What had just happened?

They were all talking around her but their voices got lost in the loud music and her own thoughts.

‘What if you already have?’ what was that even supposed to mean?

She wanted to turn and look at Harry again but she was too scared of what he might do or say and too scared that everyone else was going to notice something was wrong and ask them about it. Instead she just kept her eyes down to where her thigh was pressing into Harry’s after Declan had squeezed himself down beside them.

Thankfully no one else seemed to pick up on tension between the two of them but Y/N still regretted absolutely everything about her decision to talk to Harry. It hadn’t helped make anything clearer and she was now stuck next to him in a busy club with their drunk friends. Great.

To make things worse she then, out of nowhere, heard someone call her name and she nearly dropped her drink as she noticed who it belonged to. Well fuck.

“Luke.” 

His name fell from her lips as soon as she spotted him waving at her. He came up and stood behind Nate and Lucy, with his hands in his pockets and his hair slicked back perfectly. Lucy was quick to turn around to get a look at the guy Y/N had been raving about just a couple days ago. Then she looked at Y/N again with her jaw hanging open and gave her a look that confirmed Luke was indeed as flawless as he had been described. 

The tension was thick and awkward as Luke stood before her and her friends, more specifically Harry, and Y/N could feel him tense up beside her as he stared Luke down. She had no idea what to say or do. “This is our new neighbour I was telling you about,” was the only thing she could think of. The smirk on Luke’s face as he heard that she had been talking about him didn’t go unnoticed.

“Y’alright then?” Luke asked and nodded towards Y/N. She couldn’t breathe. How was he there? After everything that had just happened with Harry... where did Luke even come from? She hadn’t processed her conversation with Harry yet, how was she supposed to have a conversation with Luke again, in front of everyone, when her head was so scrambled?

“Yeah, I’m great.” What a fucking lie.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“Oh.” What was happening? “Ummmm, I don’t - well I - ehm I-”

“Yes! She would love a drink!” Tara interrupted her with a big grin, and any other time she would’ve been grateful for her friend stepping in and helping, but now? “Wouldn’t you?” Y/N wasn’t even sure.

“I ehhh - well, I guess so?”

What?

Her whole body was screaming NO when she got up and felt Harry’s warmth leave her side. His eyes burned into her back and it was a miracle she even made it to the bar with Luke without vomiting right there and then.

Two days ago, when she first bumped into Luke, all she wanted was to go on a date with him. But something had changed. Something inside her had clicked, and it wasn’t her hormones or the alcohol this time. All she could think about as Luke talked to her and bought her a new drink was how he wasn’t Harry.

Luke didn’t know how she liked her tea. Luke didn’t know she couldn’t go straight to bed after watching a thriller or anything that resembled a scary movie; she needed to watch something more upbeat and cheerful before going to sleep. Luke didn’t know she liked to keep things in order. Luke didn’t know she ate her weight in chocolate when she got her period. Luke didn’t know she loved mint chocolate chip ice cream. Luke didn’t know she called her mum at least once a day. Luke didn’t know she was desperate to find love. 

Harry did.

Harry knew all those things.

And as she stood at the bar with Luke she realised he wasn’t actually flawless. He was still gorgeous, only a little less breathtaking that time around because he knew he looked good and he wasn’t humble about it. He smelled like cigarettes and she hated the smell of smoke mixed with his strong cologne. It gave her a headache. He also couldn’t keep his eyes off her cleavage and didn’t bother asking her anything about herself.

His nose piercing didn’t even look that good.

Luke wasn’t flawless and she didn’t really like him. 

Harry wasn’t flawless either... but she still liked him. 

“And that’s when we-”

“You know what Luke,” she interrupted and put a finger up to stop him from talking. “I think I have to get back to my friends. But um... “ She glanced at the drink he had bought her before picking it up and downed it in one go, because he had paid for it and the least she could do was drink it. The alcohol burned a little in the back of her throat and she accidentally spilled a few drops down her shirt. She hardly noticed though because she was just aching to get back to her friends. Luke looked at her with wide eyes and a puzzled expression. “Thanks for the drink! I’ll see you around.”

With that she walked off with just one thing, or rather someone, on her mind.

But that someone wasn’t there when she found her friends again. She spotted Lucy and her bright dress sitting on Nate’s lap. She spotted Tara having a conversation with a girl from the table next to them. She spotted Declan and Connor laughing loudly over something on their phones.

She did not spot Harry.

Tara was the first one to notice her standing there just staring at the empty seat where Harry was sat a while ago. Tara excused herself from the conversation she was having and came up to Y/N, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Where is Harry?”

“He left,” Tara told her. “I think.”

“Hey, what’s going on?” Lucy came up to her as well, with a small frown on her face, worried something had happened. “Is everything alright?”

“I need to talk to Harry,” Y/N said and looked around the club; hoping to spot his curls somewhere in the crowd. Her eyes stung with tears when she couldn’t see him.

“He left after you walked off,” Lucy confirmed softly. “Is everything alright? Did something happen with Luke?”

“Yes- I mean no. I have to go,” was all she told them before she rushed off. “I need Harry.”

Y/N wasn’t aware of the three words that left her mouth but it didn’t make them any less true. It all made so much sense. It had clicked. ‘What if you already have?’ 

Yes. 

How could she have been so blind?

--

When she finally made it home she was out of breath from running all the way from the bus stop to their flat. She prayed Harry had actually gone home and not continued his night at some other club. She wasn’t sure what she’d do if he had. 

But as soon as she stepped inside she heard the familiar sound of his guitar coming from his bedroom and she didn’t even bother catching her breath before walking across the flat in a couple of strides. She hadn't really thought anything through. Her whole body was just screaming at her that she needed Harry and it couldn't wait. 

Harry left his dirty dishes out. He sometimes forgot to put the toilet seat down. He was disorganized. He did not only leave his dirty dishes out but he could also leave his dirty socks lying around the flat. He didn't like the same music as her. He could be petty and immature. He had ignored her for two days. 

But Harry also made her tea when she was having a bad day. He made her laugh. He made her food in middle of the night. He always asked about her day. He helped her home when she got too drunk. He sometimes surprised her with breakfast. He understood her. He made her feel at ease and she could always be herself around him. 

All of the good thing outweighed the bad, and the bad was only part of who he was; Harry, her roommate, her friend, the boy who she hadn't realised gave her butterflies until now.

And perhaps she should’ve knocked or at least made her presence known in any other way because as she slung his bedroom door open Harry was visibly startled and a sour note came from his guitar. He looked at her with wide eyes. 

“Y/N? What the fuck?”

“Do I have any flaws?” she asked him breathlessly. 

“What?” he asked. “What do you mean?” 

“What about me annoys you?” 

 “Shouldn’t you be off getting a drink with Mr. Flawess himself.”

“Well I changed my mind. Now just answer the question,” she urged, wanting to cut straight to the chase. Harry frowned and she wasn’t really sure if he was angry with her or just confused. Maybe both? It didn’t matter though, she just needed answers before she passed out from the anxiety running through her. “Do I have any flaws?”

“I - yeah. You do,” he said. Y/N nodded and stepped further into his room, wanting to be closer to him. “Why?” 

“Just - wait,” she told him and ignored his question by asking her own. “What are they?”

Harry didn’t reply at first. He just sat in silence and stared at her with his brows still pressed together in a frown. God, what if she had gotten it all wrong? She’d have to give up the flat to Harry and move out, leave Manchester, maybe even leave the UK. She’d be absolutely mortified; she’d never recover from it. 

Just as she lost all hope and considered running off to hide in her own bedroom for the rest of the night, possibly for the rest of the term, Harry slowly put his guitar to the side. He rubbed his hand over his chin and pinched the bottom of his lip between his index finger and his thumb, contemplating his next few words cautiously.

“You’re incredibly stubborn,” he told her and despite the fact that he had just basically insulted her a wave relief washed over her as he finally said something. 

“Okay, what else?” 

“You ask way too many questions during a movie.”

“Okay.”

“You overthink absolutely everything.”

“More.”

“You leave notes around the flat over the most meaningless things.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t leave the kitchen a mess then.”

“You have too much milk in your tea.”

“You don’t have enough.”

Harry cracked a smile but it faltered almost just as quickly.

“You want love but don’t see the person right in front of you who has fallen head over heels for you.”

Y/N had never seen or heard him as vulnerable as he was right there and then. For a moment she wondered if maybe she had misheard him but judging by his nervous fidgeting and how he for the first time ever struggled to look her in the eyes she quickly realised she hadn’t.  

“I do now,” she admitted quietly, almost too quiet, and shifted her weight from one foot to the other awkwardly. “I see you.” 

Harry still heard her and looked right into her eyes as he took a sharp breath. Her body ached to feel his touch as she stood in the middle of his room, terrified of what she was about to ask next, but there was no going back. It was, after all, the reason she had followed him home. “And you still like me despite all my flaws?”

“Well,” Harry started and fought back a smile. “I suppose I wouldn’t have saved all your notes if I didn't.” 

It was really all it took for her to close the space between them and throw herself over him. Harry was quick to catch her and his arms wrapped around her body tightly, holding her close, as she pressed her lips to his.

It was strange kissing him and she didn’t quite know where to put her own hands at first, but it felt right that much she knew. Her whole body was on fire from just a simple little kiss. Y/N never wanted it to stop. Harry grinned against her lips before deepening the kiss and sneaked his hands in under her blazer, pushing it off her shoulders before running his hands over her body. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and it was almost ridiculous how giddy she felt. Harry made her feel drunk, more so than the alcohol in her body. Nothing had ever tasted as good as him. She was completely lost in him and his warmth. 

It wasn’t until she felt him pull at her trousers that she was reminded of reality again and she pulled away from his lips. “You okay?” Harry asked immediately.

“Yeah,” she panted and leaned her forehead against his, twirling the hair in the back of his neck around her finger carefully. “I just... I still got my period.”

“Okay,” Harry nodded and tightened his grip on her, still holding her close, and she was sure she could feel his heartbeat against hers. “S’that all? Because frankly I don’t really care about a little blood right now.”

“Oh.”

“Do you?”

“I... no.”

“You sure?” Harry wondered and placed his fingers under her chin and angled her face so he could look into her eyes. He saw right through her and her mind was hazy as her body melted right into his. Harry made her feel safe and comfortable and it was all she needed to know she was sure.  

She needed him. 

“Give me a second,” she said and gave him a quick peck before getting off him. It pained her to do so but even as she made her way over to the bathroom to remove her tampon, perhaps one of the most unattractive things you could do, Harry’s eyes on her as she walked away made her feel sexier than she ever had before.

She didn’t waste a single second inside the bathroom and quickly did what she had to before she just about ran back to Harry’s bedroom. She caught a quick glimpse of herself in the mirror and couldn’t help but laugh. She looked dazed. But in the best possible way. Her cheeks were rosy. Her hair was messy. Lips swollen. It was the first time she had ever seen herself look so radiant. Glowing almost. 

Happy.

She also decided to not put her trousers back on after she was done in the bathroom, because why waste time when she was planning to take them off soon anyway?

And Harry seemed to have had the same idea because when she came back he had already removed his floral shirt and his beige trousers as well. His lips were the same colour as her lipstick and he didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was staring at her bare legs and underwear. It made her whole body tingle and she didn’t mind him gawking, because she couldn’t take her own eyes away from his naked chest and the bulge between his legs.

“Come here,” Harry murmured and held out his hand for her to take. He gently pulled at her arm until she was sitting on top of him on the bed, straddling his hips. The lack of clothing on both of them made her blush as he embraced her and she felt all of him under her.  

Harry cupped one of his hands under her jaw and leaned in to kiss her again. It started out slow but as soon as his lips touched her a soft moan came from her. His lips were slightly chapped and yet they were the best lips she had ever kissed. It didn't matter that they weren’t perfectly soft. Not one bit. Y/N never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again. 

The kiss quickly deepend and she had her hands in his hair, tugging at his soft curls and getting lost in the taste of his lips. She was throbbing against him and knew he could also feel just how desperately she wanted him through the thin lace of her panties. His lips were eager against hers and she was too lost in him to notice he had blindly reached out to the bedside table and sought out a condom.

It wasn’t until she felt his hand and the small foil packet brush against her leg that she realised. She pulled back and met his green eyes, breathing hard as she tried to find her words to speak. He looked back at her with questioning eyes, silently asking her if she was alright with what was happening between them, and she just nodded. 

She sat back to give him some room and watched as he pulled himself out of his boxers and then helped him get them off before he rolled the condom over his length. The sight alone made her light-headed and, if he hadn’t already, she was sure he could hear how hard her heart was beating. He also caught her staring but she didn’t really care and he only pulled her back into him.

He kissed her along her collarbone, sucking lightly at the skin as he made his way up to her neck. Y/N closed her eyes and hummed with pleasure as she tilted her head to the side to give him better access. Harry ran his hands up and down her back and then slipped his hands in under the tank top she was wearing before he pulled it off her swiftly. 

Harry took a few seconds to stare at her naked chest when he discovered she wasn’t wearing a bra before he kissed each of her breasts lightly, making her nipples hard. Y/N just cupped his face and pulled his head up so she could kiss him again, impatient and desperate to feel him inside her and he giggled against her lips. 

Harry only pushed the crotch of her underwear to the side when he lined himself up under her. She gasped as she slowly sank down onto him and had to break their kiss. Harry had one hand around her thigh and the other on the back of her head, her hair twisted between his fingers, as they breathed the same air. 

When she eventually started to move her hips after getting used to the stretch of him he groaned softly, low in his throat, and tightened the grip he had on her. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

Her blood rushed inside her and her whole chest and face flushed from hearing his words and how hoarse his voice was. She put her hands on his stomach, her fingers digging into his skin around his tattoo, before lifting her hips and taking all of him again; craving the friction created between the two of them.

Harry moaned and let his head fall backwards, breathing heavily, and she couldn’t take her eyes away from his strong jawline. She also couldn’t stop herself from kissing him right there and Harry moaned again as he felt her lips on his skin. 

It made her smile; knowing she was having the same affect on him that he had on her. 

Y/N did her best to find a steady rhythm riding him but her thighs were trembling around him and it had been awhile since she had been on top of anyone. She had almost forgotten how to do it. Harry bucked his hips up into her and she barely had time to react before he impatiently flipped them over and yanked her underwear off.

A loud moan left her lips as he pushed right back into her and instantly built up a new quicker pace, giving her all of him and hitting the spot in her that made her toes curl. He leaned down and connected their mouths again. His chest was slick with sweat as his body pressed against hers and her hands were all over him because she just couldn’t decide where to put them. She wanted all of him. 

And when Harry hoisted himself up and hooked one of her legs over his shoulder to get deeper she didn’t care if any of their neighbours heard her.

“Oh my god.”

Then his fingers were stroking her between her legs and it quite literally took her breath away. Her whole body was trembling as she felt every hot and thick inch of him. Her release was close, she could feel it in the pit of her stomach and he could see it on her as he continued to move above her.

And not once did Harry lose his pace or falter when her nails scratched his back and she clenched tightly around him as her orgasm swept through her body. He kept thrusting into her while she moaned and shivered beneath him.

Just as she came down from her high he got his own release and came with a loud sigh of relief. He continued to move his hips against hers until his muscles gave up from exhaustion and he collapsed on top of her.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, both spent, and she tried to catch her breath. 

Which was hard seeing as he was still on top of her and she could still feel him inside her.

When he raised his head to look down at her, grinning from ear to ear, her whole stomach fluttered. And this time she knew it was because of Harry. It wasn’t because of alcohol. Not because she had a hangover. Not because she was stressed. Maybe because of a few hormones. 

But there were just no excuses. 

Eventually Harry got up. He removed the used condom and retrieved a small towel to clean himself up quickly before handing it over and climbing back into bed with her.

Y/N curled up against his chest and let him run his fingers through her hair, gently scratching the top of her head, and she was seconds away from falling asleep when he spoke up.

“I’m sorry for calling you desperate.”

Y/N tilted her head up to look at him.

“S’okay, I have been a little.”

“Still,” he mumbled. “Wasn’t really fair of me.”

“You know you could’ve just told me.”

“I was going to,” Harry admitted with a low chuckle. “But you always came back home announcing you were going on another date so it never really felt like the right time.”

“Hmm, well you didn’t really help yourself by bringing a girl back like every weekend,” she pointed out and laughed lightly. “It was hard to not be blind.”

“Had to try to forget about you somehow,” Harry admitted and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, letting his lips linger for a few seconds before continuing. “But you and your stupid post-it notes made it hard.”

“Did you really save all of them?” she asked and pushed herself up so she was leaning on her elbows. She couldn’t stop herself from grinning proudly. Harry laughed and tipped his head back, covering his face with his hands as his cheeks turned pink.

“God, I’m gonna regret telling you that aren’t I?”

“Maybe,” she laughed again before giving his chest a quick kiss, just because she could. “I do kind of enjoy writing them for you though.”

“Of course you do,” Harry said and peaked out from behind his hands with a cheeky smile. “And I enjoy leaving the kitchen a mess because I know you’ll leave me a new one,” he confessed and tapped her nose. 

“I fuckin’ knew it!” she exclaimed with a gasp and shoved him away from her playfully. “You absolute knobhead!” 

Harry only laughed and pulled her back into his warm body. 

On her way back home from the club Y/N had been a little bit worried that she was wrong or that it was going to be weird to go from roommates to more with Harry -- but it felt like the most natural thing. It felt just as natural as everything else they already did together, and maybe that was why she had been so picky recently. Maybe it was why she looked for flaws in every guy she dated so she had an excuse to not see them again. She had already found what she wanted; she just hadn’t realised. How stupid.

“Hey Harry?”

“Hm?”

“Would you like to go on a date with me?”

-- 

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[mychemicalasexual]

sanders sides secondary school (middle/highschool) headcannons  

[summary: they all went to the same primary (elementary) and secondary because close is easy. they all kind of paired off back in primary but became a group after they moved schools]

Roman

spends almost all his spare time in the drama room

likes the uniform because the colours make him feel like a prince

(he adds a brooch to add to the aesthetic)

loves the classic hollywood look

wants to be on the west end

kind of a goody-two-shoes

childhood friends with patton

Remus

class clown

enjoys confusing substitute teachers by giving them his brothers name instead

practically the king of detention at this point

he cropped his blazer to piss off the teachers, and always ‘forgets’ his tie

childhood friends with virgil

has fun teaching patton ‘terms of affection’ that’re incredibly vulgar

Virgil

takes art classes and the paint gets everywhere so he rolls up his blazer sleeves

(he still gets paint on it somehow)

when he first started growing his hair, it failed a month in because he’d gotten gum in it

is secretly just as bad as remus, but half the time he doesnt have the energy 

chose spanish as his foreign language option purely so he can swear at roman 

(they dont teach swears but remus said they would because he thought it’d be funny)

Patton

is autistic and has a kermit plushie bag that he adores and loves showing off except it kinda looks cursed

(but patton doesnt see it and theyre just being silly)

takes separate classes for some subjects and logan helps him study sometimes

has a million tiny trinkets at the bottom of his bag 

frogs and sanrio special interests 

Logan

childhood friends with janus

captain of the debate team 

spends all his time either with janus in the library, or in the drama room with roman reading shakespeare

tried to run for head of year (like student council president) against janus and vice versa with the debate team

they argued for a while over it, but just decided to drop out of one race each 

Janus

close with remus after he had a fight with someone that ended in a week long isolation (detention for the whole day)

him and virgil were childhood rivals, remus kind of forced them to get along

janus was the one that helped virgil dye his hair

his sarcasm tends to go over patton’s head

when remus assigned logan and patton and mum and dad, he declared janus as wine mum and that it makes sense to have 3 assigned parent figures because he was divorced oof