#the weak and the old????

[mhaynoot]

problems i think a lot of readers (especially young ones) have is taking things at face value, especially if a character is saying it or explaining it - like don't trust them fucks!! and don't trust the narrator either! treat every word like a mystery, a crime scene from the unreliable witness and you're the detective; discover the unwritten, find the innucuous lies and the partial truth, and analyse what isn't spoken.

[mischievous-thunder]

Bonus:

They're flirting and also starting a fight

[moonlightcycle571]

The JL fight a magic user who casts a spell on everyone where their biggest weakness will be displayed above their heads. If Batman takes notes later, then that’s not on him.

There’s the predictable ones like Hal where it says ‘Yellow’, Clark says ‘Kryptonite’, and Martian Manhunter ‘Fire’.

But then there’s the one where you need to interpret like Flash halving ‘Bound’, the Hawks having ‘Clipped’ which pertains to their wings or even the ‘Pride’ on Doctor Fate.

What’s weird is that Batman and Captain Marvel of all people have the same word:

‘Adoption’

Little does everyone know that it’s for two entirely different reasons. Batman can’t help but adopt. Batson doesn’t want to be adopted.

No one knows Captain Marvel is secretly a kid, so everyone thinks he’s like Batman, but just doesn’t adopt (or thinks Freddy & Mary or the Vasquez kids are actually his if they are in AU). But for the sake of comedy, let’s not have them.

Batman thinks there is some kind of kinship, and asks how he battles the urge to adopt? Captain Marvel is trying really hard to not run away (he doesn’t want to get adopted, especially not by Batman, the puns enough are going to be atrocious).

It would look something like this:

Bruce: and that’s how I got all my kids. Or at least most of them. I’m not sure if technically family friends count, but they still got their parents, you know?

Billy, does not in fact know: yeah… darn those parents ammi right

Ollie, wondering if they should put Cap in the JL parent group: oh, do you have any kids?

Billy: oh no, I can’t (Cue misunderstandings)

Bruce: I understand the urge to adopt is real, good on you for not giving in. We live a dangerous life style

Billy: We’ll we can’t help the fae brain

Bruce: the what?

Billy, he just heard the term before and thought it was the common word: you know, when you just want to keep and raise a kid for yourself

Bruce, thinking of the numerous tales of witches and fae using first born children as payment only to realise it’s their way of adoption: … huh

Billy, just wants to escape and hug his tiger: oh it’s really fine. Anyways I need to bounce, but we’ll see each other on Mondays meeting

Proceeds to ruffle everyone’s hair (he can’t help it, he’s taller than anyone and enjoys the feeling of ruffling hair instead of having his hair ruffled)

Batman: oh OH

Cue most misunderstanding where they think Marvel mentally adopted them. They all have daddy issues anyways, so it really shouldn’t be a surprise when they try to be the fae brain favourite.

HAHA YOU THOUGHT YOU WERENT GETTING DAD MARVEL, BUT JUMPED ON THAT BANDWAGON THE SECOND IT CAME OUT

[aithusarosekiller]

Giving the black brothers the authentic sibling experience:

Sirius: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Regulus: having a drink...?

Sirius, taking the glass off him and guiding him to a seat: you've already had two, you're way too young to be drinking this much, your liver will up and leave your goddamn body

Regulus: you were doing this at fourteen, I am quite literally twenty

Sirius, convinced he's still thirteen: ......I don't think you are, Lulu

Regulus: firstly, that stupid name has been overused since we were ten, secondly, you're twenty-two, so do the maths.

Sirius: *calls narcissa* important question, how old is regs

Narcissa: twenty

Sirius: *staring at him in horror* ew

[ballpitwitch]

𝐊𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐮 𝐑𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐑𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐂𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐍𝐉 - 𝟏𝟎/𝟎𝟖/𝟐𝟑

[shinyshayminflower]

S-save a horse ride a cowb- *gunshot*

[noxcheshire]

I kept thinking of little baby man Phantom and the potential of Danny being an actual baby of the Infinite Realms. However, he’s more snake teenager than itty bitty Little Baby Man edition, cause I think it’d be so funny to just — imagine this teenage snake curled up in a summoning circle, obviously having been taking a nap and looking up with his big green, sleepy eyes and Constantine just stares and freaks because, “THATS A WHOLE ASS BABY, PUT IT BACK!”

But they can’t because apparently the summoning was more of a ‘knock knock I’m a babysitter’ and Danny’s ghost parent decided that this was the perfect time to have some time for themselves if Heroes were so willing to take care of Danny for a little while.

Another take — mainly in reference to a different post about Klarion actually just being a toddler of the infinite realms with no ideas on how to human and thinks him fighting with heroes is just a play date — zooms into the human realm where the heroes are and just goes, “Hey I’m dropping my baby sibling onto you guys cause my dad got mad last time Danny got hurt by the humans I hang with. So here you go, I’ll pick him up later.”

A teenage snake Danny is dropped into a hero’s arms where he mainly grumbles and then shifts to better take a nap. Klarion drops the baby essentials at them with no further explanations other then “here’s their favorite blanket, if they get fussy taco them; here’s the baby milk make sure it’s -200 F, they have an ice core, etc.” and then just DISAPPEARS after leaving what amounts to a month old infant in human heroes care.

[cringefail-clown]

hey remember the post i made that brodad in turnabout would be absolutely hilarious? because i remember. and i cannot forget. and now im thinking about it constantly

please send help

[hibapanem]

[beetlerings]

Various pd doodles that aren’t worthy of their own post

[bruciemilf]

Thinking long and hard about a “Bakugou’s always been Izuku’s sugar daddy and he just never noticed” situation.

You best believe he put together the most agressive lemonade stand to ever exist at 5. That ‘buy this or die” sign in angry red crayon was awfully motivating.

“Really, Kacchan?! Can I really have it?!” About the frankly hideous All Might sweater he’s been wanting for months.

“What kinda dumbass question is that?! You know you can have whatever you want when I’m around!”

He does grumble when Izuku kisses his cheek, but that’s just to hide the red on his face.

Then he’s 13. And everything about him is meaner, louder, colder.

“Come on, nerd, break’s almost over!”

“Sorry, Kacchan, I think there’s something wrong with the vending machine.”

Izuku does that thing with his tongue, running it over his bottom lip when he’s deep in focus.

“Tch. Move.”

He pays for him, and he has to ask him what he wants 4 times before he finally snaps because God forbid Deku would make this easy for him.

And Izuku wants to pull him down, and they both know for what. Bakugou speed walks out of there because he’s not worthy anymore.

Then he’s 18. his anger doesn’t mellow, but it softens. His feelings gain more clarity, more acceptance, waking from deep, buzzing sleep .

Izuku clings on him like a damn bunny spider, trying to wrestle the card out of his hand,

“Kacchan, please, I can pay for it!”

“Damn nerd. When I’m around you don’t have to.”

He successfully pays, and consequently he wins. Izuku can pout all he wants, but Bakugou’s still gonna smirk like a damn hound in a henhouse.

“Thank you, Kacchan, I really love it,” Izuku smiles at the damn Dynamight plushie. They never get his glare right.

He looks good when he’s happy.

“Hey, nerd.”

Bakugou taps his cheek with his finger, face blooming red and gaze avoidant. Izuku giggles at him and pulls him down to kiss his cheek.

It’s worth it.

[starsinmylatte]

No because me too girl

[superhell]

house md is wild because house tells wilson that he’ll sacrifice many things but never himself and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he

[0bticeo]

alastor | your cracks are showing.

picture this, if you will.

you, having had enough of his antics, finally snapping, telling him you see through him. his mask, that too-wide smile, is imperfect.

"your cracks are showing, alastor."

you spit his name like a curse and he feels his gut twist with something foreign. there you are, you, defiant, arms crossed over your chest, denying him his precious persona.

who the hell do you think you are?

before you know it, his arm wraps around your waist, pulling you to him, until you meet the hard planes of his chest. he's all lean muscles you find out, writhing against him, trying to break free.

he tilts your head back with one gloved hand. the leather is thin enough for you to feel the warmth of him. if you shiver, lips parting, you'll deny it.

"careful, my dear."

with that, he kisses you, sickeningly sweet. too sweet. too much. your eyes widen at the feeling of his lips against yours, of his teeth nipping against your flesh. you taste blood. fucker bit you -

he growls, the sound rich and deep, sinking into your marrow like he does in your mouth, tasting you. you find yourself clinging to him, fingers tangling in his curls, lightly tugging at his scalp.

he lets you go, tongue darting to lick the remnants of your lifeblood on his lips. he chuckles at the sight of you - kiss-swollen, panting, pupils blown wide in furious desire.

his thumb presses against your lower lip, right where he bit you. you hiss, sweet pain settling low in your gut.

"you'll cut yourself on my edges if you get too close."

somehow, you don't mind.

[redthemarten]

Bold of him to have assumed he ever stood a chance...

[calliopesartblog]

captain america : the first avenger