#the way your interpretation can be shaped by how much you trust the author

[corsairspade]

every time i interact with the silmarillion i get weirdly excited about the fact that the authorial intent is that it's a translation of historical accounts. it's a tertiary source! none of it is first hand. it makes it so much more interesting. was the legendarium a mannish tradition? what parts of these were written by pengolodh? by rumil? what loremaster has recorded this? would there be bias in the accounting? can i trust what i'm reading, from this viewpoint, this many years after it would have been written?

what has been mythologised, what has been sanitised, what is third-hand written on rumour? it's such an interesting thing to consider.

[utilitycaster]

I spaced on sending this when you initially made the post, but if you were ever so inclined to make that full list of recommendations on metafiction/the liminal space of tangential genres, I would be very interested to see it! (the original list was 100% some of my favorite books/media)

Oh man I've been uh. bad at reading as regularly/much as I'd like for the past few years, something I'm attempting to remedy, and I've never been the biggest of film buffs, and as such that covers a lot of the high points.

(obligatory reminiscing): Truly the the most "not actually a real problem" tragedies of my life is that I was a teenager before the Goodreads era and so I was shaped, indelibly, by whatever Collected Science Fiction Anthologies of the Latter 20th Century my local library had circa 2004. As a result there's like a thousand 70s and 80s sci fi stories the titles of which I cannot remember but which are etched deep within the recesses of my brain. Occasionally I have enough details to go to some thread on the internet and say "pretty please can you find it," but often I don't. There's definitely one I'm thinking of in which a group of scientists keep doing an experiment to change the time line and they keep believing that it fails, but as a reader you clearly see the list of names and various details is changing. This is not super helpful to anyone other than to say "go read short speculative fiction." ANYWAY here's a few more.

On the topic of short fiction, Sword Stone Table is a collection of short stories inspired by Arthurian legend which I read last year, and not all of them worked but there were enough to make it worth it (and it's a quick read). Hilariously, the coffee shop AU was one of the more metafictional examples.

A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan. I don't remember this well but I own a copy and might re-read it; I distinctly recall purchasing it because she made a chapter in the form of a PowerPoint presentation and got interviewed by NPR about it since she could see how many people quit reading at that chapter thanks to eReader data, and I was like "sounds cool". I love when authors are hostile to their audience in a way that's good for them, and I remember enjoying that chapter very much.

I mean your bio quotes Calvino so I'm assuming you're good there but like...I have not read all their work, but I trust Calvino, Borges, Le Guin, and Susanna Clarke to always deliver.

Jules Feiffer's A Barrel of Laughs, A Vale of Tears; Diana Wynne Jones' Fire and Hemlock (among other Diana Wynne Jones books); The Phantom Tollbooth; and the various works of Ellen Raskin (best known for The Westing Game but I read so many of her books) are middle-grade or YA but they are in fact a big reason why I eventually became a college student who would read House of Leaves and Calvino for fun and why I became an adult who devoured Piranesi in one sitting.

The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson

It's also been a hot minute since I read Possession by A. S. Byatt but I do remember loving it at the time.

For...the best I can put it is "popcorn reads?" low postmodernism? mass-market metafiction? Fun shit? Jasper Fforde is your guy.

Technically The Princess Bride is metafiction. Fun fact: a good friend of mine in college did not realize it was not legit a translation when he read the book. His undergrad thesis was in part about translation. We made fun of him for this.

David Mitchell's literary universe, notably Cloud Atlas. David Mitchell is a very good writer who does tend to have a pretty dark interpretation of our world's future and so I sort of fell off following his works because they were particularly depressing but like, that's a me problem because he's immensely talented. (note: did not see the film adaptation, cannot speak to that.)

I am also going to plug the Teixcalaan books (two so far, starting with A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine which is a bit of a stretch but I'm doing it anyway because I think it’s underappreciated (it occupies the same space in my mind tbh as Ada Palmer’s Terra Ignota and to an extent Yoon Ha Lee's Machineries of Empire, both of which I’ve mentioned before, of an incredibly intelligent SF story with queer characters and relationships that was well received but just doesn't have the buzz of some other modern sf series). It’s not metafictional per se, but it does have an incredibly strong theme running through it of engaging with narrative and controlling it (honestly? Similar to Black Sails in that regard.) The Teixcalaan Empire is hyper-aware of language and legend, naming patterns are a number and a word, and the cool thing to do is write complex forms of poetry. The second book also has a character purchasing an indie comic and drawing all sorts of interesting comparisons to her ongoing situation... a little bit like Tales of the Black Freighter within Watchmen.

Run Lola Run/Lola Rennt (I watched it as a non-German speaker with subtitles and enjoyed it)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOOO HACK HIS GAME so true i can imagine him trying to beg Nagi/hiori that’d be so funny…BUT LITERALLY SAME!!! I almost forgot the pokemon ref i was gonna make before was Karasu and garchomp…we were talking about his hair and i was kinda thinking like…the front of his hair…looks like a garchomp head….yk with the pointy triangle kinda shape…he would def have a garchomp….a pokemon au sounds so fun i definitely tried to assign some people teams at some point for the heck of it LOL

REAL anri carrying all of bllk along with like chigiris sister and Bachira’s mom maybe but we barely see them!!

No literally…because of the three i think Karasu has def been the most proactive too? I feel like Karasu and otoya are probably on the same level ish, having been starters since their first match but kaneshiro def emphasizes or adds little panels of Karasu actively involved with the game (maybe just because we never see barcha ugh) so im like….are you reading red key LOL

HIMBO REP AHAHA FR!! But seriously zantetsu please survive..I can’t imagine that after all we’ve seen of him in epinagi and the main series that he’ll get kicked out??? But still I look at the theories and I’m like oh um. Haha! Er. Please don’t. I’m hoping they just demote and kick out some of the u20 players that haven’t done much like fukaku (…? Idr their names) Hoping zantetsu gets his cover next in the event of the bllk cover theory shsgsjwhs

If I were in besties shoes I’d totally get it bc wdym you have the perfect kdrama romance literally just written in the stars for you….like MY TURN??? The crane game scene was a knee slapper the way Otoyas just like “move I’ll do it loser” HAHAHAHA oh I love that dynamic between them

THE ADOPTING OF CHIGIRI WAS SO CUTE TOO I was like omg YES when I read the little interactions and their little moment post ping pong game…also speaking of I had no idea that’s what that was?? Ok I got the ping pong but rhyming?? I’ve somehow never heard of that before nor have I ever tried it with my friends so I was so lost when I first read the manga and Nagi goes orange and I’m like…maybe he’s just a goofy dude who wanted to say orange because it sounds funky so uh. The more you know!

Omg y/n adopting the younger boys with trauma…it’s even funnier to imagine since Rin likes looking out at the sea like imagine y/n is like I’m gonna take a walk by the water! and Karasu begrudgingly is like ok bro…and then bam it’s Rin, idk exactly how it’d go but I just think their affinity of the sea/water would be something they could (mildly) bond over!

IM CRYING THAT REDDIT MEME I remember first seeing that and laughing I felt kinda bad but I can’t with the energy!!

I’m so glad you enjoyed writing it too!! Hopefully it brought you as much joy as it did me HAHA I’m gonna eat up your Hiori works too trust….I’ll be in here giving live commentary too!!

LMFAOOOOOOOOOO IM CRYING THAT TEXT SCREENSHOT IS SO THEM!!! I can imagine Karasu trying to square up with fish through the glass like he sees one giving him the side eye and is like “you wanna go bro??”

But also the game interactions….are so funny…..I’m not sure if these are fully considered spoilers (just for game content) so I’ll shut up first but if you’re interested in knowing some of the dialogue I’ll slap down all of the ones I’ve seen floating around so far….finally got some tabieita content and Hiori interactions too….yuki soon I trust..

-Karasu anon

maybe i’ll make a post assigning pokémon teams to the characters even if i don’t write the au as an entire fic 🤔 i feel like pokémon has sm potential to be ANYTHING like angst fluff slice of life romance you really can include it all depending on how you take it and how you interpret the verse. karasu is basically an irl garchomp HAHA it fits too well

nah because justice for anri she should be at the club not doing ego’s dirty laundry /j…fr though i’m glad the author decided not to include more female characters just because based off of some of those anri panels they would NOT be done well and i would rather have no female rep than have it poorly done. i do like all of the mothers/chigiri’s sister!! the mothers especially actually look and feel like parents of teenage boys instead of teenagers themselves which definitely isn’t always the case

karasu has been up to smth for the entire match HAHA and he was even in hiori’s flashback so i think it’s safe to say he’s not going anywhere…i agree and i’m hoping they get rid of the u20 players (except aiku and sendou, p sure they’re staying) so more characters we care about get to stay in the manga!! i’m hoping giving how much emphasis there was on zantetsu in s1 and epinagi he sticks around but it kinda feels like everything he does, chigiri and otoya can do better, so who knows.

NO BECAUSE POOR BESTIE HAS KNOWN FOR SIX YEARS THAT KARASU LIKES Y/N 😭 she watched their banter turn into a relationship, and she sees how well karasu treats y/n once they’re together (he literally buys her flowers like every week 😖)…then she gets to the u-20 match and is HYPE because CEO’s son reo mikage?? standoffish prodigy nagi?? popular sweetheart isagi?? talented loner barou?? time for her to have her OWN kdrama moment. and then every single one of her dreams is destroyed because she’s shipped with otoya who is quite literally her biggest opp because he kept making out w a girl RIGHT in front of her face while she was trying to watch a movie.

i think the best thing about the crane scene is that otoya straight up says he only wins plushies to impress girls but he’s so obviously done w bestie and not at all trying to impress her and she’s also so unimpressed that it averts the cliche romance vibe completely. honestly they don’t give kdrama (bestie will forever be disappointed in that sense) but they have HUGE 2000s romcom vibes to me HAHA

LMAOO the website i read the manga on translated it as rhyming ping pong so i just went w that?? i made up the rules though but it made sense to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ karasu’s face in the panel when nagi says orange is so FUNNY bro was flabbergasted 😭 I LOVED Y/N ADOPTING CHIGIRI HAHAHA like they were giving very strong cousin vibes to me…honestly respect to karasu because half of the bllk guys want to bag his gf and the other half are like her children but he is somehow keeping it together regardless 😫

y/n saw rin crash out during the u-20 match and was like oh…this is Not Normal…and as soon as she saw rin on the beach she immediately got to work trying to figure out wtf happened 😭 nah because i’ve always wondered why NOBODY showed any concern for rin after the match like he was clearly going through smth?? but if it leads to a goal ig it’s all good 😓

HAHAHA omg karasu starts crying in the aquarium because he thinks the starfish looked at him weird and y/n is like babe…starfish don’t have eyes…he tries to go band for band w a penguin and gets kicked out of the exhibit 😭 truly a menace. the text conversation was SO them though i screenshotted immediately because i got such strong fwtkac vibes from it

YAYY i can’t wait for your commentary on those too!! i need to like decompress from the silliness of fwtkac so i can do the requests properly (was asked to include some angst 😈) because i need to not be in that crack fic headspace for them. but also idk if you’ve seen my otoya shitposting as of late but lowkey don’t be surprised if i drop a lil smth for him at some point 🤫 what can i say writing abt him and bestie converted me into the otoya cult officially 😰 no promises though because unfortunately i have so many ideas but so little time

feel free to drop your fav game lines!! i’ve seen some that are rlly funny HAHA doesn’t nagi call people the opps at some point?? or maybe rin i can’t recall rn 😫 i just know that the ones i’ve seen have been super silly but in a good way

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

[The following was taken from under the cut] "I’ll say I think ndrv3 is definitely heavily inspired by Umineko. Kodaka has actually already done an intentional Umineko reference before, all the way back in dr1 with a joke involving “small bombs,” so I really wouldn’t put it past him to have intentionally borrowed from Umineko for the sake of this game. Like ndrv3, Umineko deals heavily with themes such as “reality vs. fiction,” “truth vs. lies,” and a varied cast of characters from the self-sacrificing and well-intentioned to the really, downright horrible.

In my own opinion though, I don’t quite think there is no “definite” answer to the truth in ndrv3, so much as there’s an encouragement to the players to try and shift their views between multiple “conflicting truths,” and try to decide on the one that fits best. Umineko was much the same, in that even though interpretation of the truth is very much left up to the readers and even encouraged to be gently left “in the catbox” so that the central character of the story doesn’t have their wishes disturbed, there was still the truth. And that truth has been given progressively more and more hints and recently outright confirmation in the manga adaptation.

I think that’s what Kodaka is very much getting at with ndrv3. There is probably a “definite” truth, which might be awful and horrifying and even more depressing than the end of ndrv3 already let on (and it was pretty intentionally depressing to begin with), but also the players are encouraged to realize that lies and “illusions” can often be used to “become a new reality” of sorts, and shape the world around them.

I’m really glad you brought Umineko up at all though, because honestly, I wouldn’t have had nearly as fun of a time playing ndrv3 or understood it nearly as well if I hadn’t been through all the same twists and turns before. Even in terms of understanding Ouma, who is arguably one of the biggest mysteries that ndrv3 presents along with the epilogue itself, Umineko helped me to understand him immensely better than I would have had I gone in blind. But because the central character of Umineko is an “evil witch” who takes credit for crimes which “someone else did,” and her entire façade of cruelty, chaos, and sadistic enjoyment is actually a tentative hope that the detective might understand her even as she ruins her own chances in the game she’s playing—well, you can understand probably why this all sounds very familiar.

Even in terms of controversial endings or stories that leave you feeling unsatisfied and with a sort of bittersweet aftertaste, these two works are extremely similar. If anything, Umineko’s “truth,” as well as the solution it presents in the final episode, makes ndrv3 look quite mild. I really do feel like Kodaka wanted to take Umineko as an overall concept and run with it in more “funky wacky DR terms.”

Umineko is a story that challenges you to throw your preconceptions out the window and realize that characters aren’t always what they seem. And although it has a mechanic where only certain words “can be trusted” and it might seem as though anything else could be a lie, you are still distinctly encouraged to believe in and take those non-guaranteed words at face value, because at some point you can’t distrust everything in the story.

Reading Umineko was an experience that really did change how I view mysteries and even how I think about things on a very personal basis. I’ve said a few times that mysteries only become solvable when you believe they can be solved, and when you trust that the author has definitely included all the points of evidence and hints that you need, and Umineko was indeed the series that encouraged this way of thinking for me. Reading it was an extremely wild but fulfilling experience, and it’s made my experience of ndrv3 even more enjoyable than it would have already been.

I really hope more people might get into either Umineko or ndrv3 thinking of the two as very similar works which focus on similar themes. It would help a lot of people’s understanding of the game, I think.

There’s a lot more fun sprite comparison to be had, but that’s probably best left for another day."

Considering various things in the prologue and epilogue, along with the games themes, I don't think NDRV3 really has a "definite" answer to the truth, as much as the wish to have the audience decide what the truth means. It's a lot like Umienko When They Cry in that regard.

Oh boy, I’m actually really happy that you brought upUmineko, anon! I’ve been kind of slipping in references to it for a while inthe tags on some of my posts, but now that you’ve given me a reason to talkabout it, I guess I really can’t hide that I’m a huge When They Cry fan ingeneral!

For those who aren’t familiar with Umineko, it’s a murdermystery visual novel by Ryukishi07, and it’s on exactly the same sort of level of hyperawareness and meta as ndrv3,if not a little moreso. The series is long—it’s split into eight separatevisual novel “episodes,” and altogether it’s far longer than the entirety ofndrv3, even counting bonus mode content. But for anyone who enjoys seriesinvolving murder mysteries, fourth-wall breaking and meta awareness from thecharacters, and a really good story full of lots of plot twists from start tofinish, I’d recommend checking it out if you’re curious.

I’m going to talk about both series at length under the read more, but even for people who don’t know anything about Umineko, I’d recommend at least reading this, because the two works are heavily similar and how I tackled ndrv3 as a mystery was very similar to how I learned to tackle mysteries from Umineko.

Keep reading

[vasiliquemort]

Someone from the Meiker community here, trying to use your Dneiper Gothic game without being insensitive to you and other Ukrainians. I’m not very knowledgeable on folklore from your country - where can I find out more and read some of the stories? If not in English, then can you point me to a translation service that works well for the language? Thanks!

Greetings! And thank you so much for your view, and time, and company, and shared tones of art, and everything else, too!<з

So! The point is - I don't think there is any way to be interested and find someone's culture and ways beautifull could be insensitive in any way. The way how my culture is shared and admired in some ways across the world had deep impact on me and my self-identification, and lots of inner tones, paths, creations and retentions all along, and I don't see the right way to shut this down because of polemics of "inaproppriate" perceptions.

Art is love, and the love is creational, uniting, it's light and simple, something that goes with you along always and everywhere, and there is no correct way to feel love - maybe to express it, but to embrace love is natural and relieving alltogether. Ukrainian culture is to be shared, I feel delight when know that someone amused, find joy in my creations, and it's my personal charge - to express this correctly, but your delights are just made to be just and trusting.

Truth be told - long time ago I made some compilation of literature that I find expressive and personal, all of them - ukrainian authors of prose and poems, and I finded and shared it again for that specific moment of unity. I hope you shall find it in my recent posts - or you can seek at my place by tag "ask" and "ukrainian culture". With translations I cannot say that I can be of real use, and that's saddens me deeply - as there is some educational sites and books to buy, limited and strange for my sight, but I believe that there is a way, through machine translations is terrible in a bad way of word.

But! To find a language that is uniting, simple and expressive on shapes of various and bright is a task that is simple and delightful - as where is beauty and poetism, there is also music, and this is the way that I can share and express<ззз

It was a work both voracious and delightful, and I spend time that I loved deeply - but I made a brief and simple compilation of authors of music, as music is a language that is always international;зз There is no links, but shapeful and simple directions - and some revealed tones and my personal love for each of the points. I hope it can be shared, that this can be inspirational and actual and delightful for some of my beloveds and mutuals and simply everyone that can find their interest there.

So there I was gone - three columns that are touches different tones of my love and soul, something that I adore and admire deeply, and have desire to share - for a time that is long and fullfilling, too<з

Jamala - 1944

The first tones of shade and mist - a song that, I believe, is knowed and shared, as it was a winner of 2016 year on Eurovision, but this interpretation, and new gloom and sharpness and movement was admired recently - shaped in a new, current way of our year. It's a song of Jamala, named 1944 - year of tatar's deportation from Krimea - a song of young and unshaped happiness, of unshared legacy, of century of the damnations. You shall find it easily, by the lady and the creation's name - official video that was maded five years ago is a tone of dark and gloomy unity, of a soft and unraveled will, of a misty seas and ashen air - tones of our home, our love and rue.

"I did not enjoy my youth I was not able to live in this place" - 1944

Khristyna Soloviy - Pod Oblachkom; Trimay Mene; Hto, yak ne ty?; Gore Dolom; Stezhechka; Holodno

My love and delight, Khrystyna Soloviy, is a western-ukrainian singer with tones that are both ethnical and lyrical in the most beautifull ways. Her tone are light and romantical, melodical, sensual and bird-like, as it goes so well with her delightful name (as Soloviy is a Nightinghale). Some of her songs are of Lemky's dialect and traditional culture - which is an beautifull remind and share of our beloved, gracious Mother, some of them are "Pod Oblachkom" (a folk song of a bewitched young man, his rue and obsession with his bride - accompaned with uncertain and dark, ravishing nature of his heart) and "Gore Dolom", lemky's folk song of lonely, leaved home, and a family that goes far away - the reminder of another tragedy, of a deported kin of western highlanders. One of it's earlier versions was sung together with the next author - Svyatoslav Vakarchuk, who was direct mentor and inspirationalist of Khrystyna, and his song, "Holodno", was also covered by her as an soundrack. "Stezhechka" was also a soundtrack, which is a sung poem of Ivan Franko, author that I pointed in previous compilation. "Hto, yak ne ty?" and "Trimay Mene" are songs of younger, but no less beautifull nature - of a love that is delightful and maddening, that is ravenous as khyzhak and sweet as a dove.

"Is that love was given by god? Was it whispered by a devil himself?" - Pod Oblachkom

"Don't you feel it - my fright, as I am in your palm?.. ..Give to me your torment, give it away with your hands - And heal, heal yourself with my lips" - Trimay Mene

"There is that path - where she walked, The one that took all the joy from my heart.. ..After her steps I posessed ran - Kissed them with my tears, drank from her feet. Alike to a drowned man - that holds his last straw My eyes grasped her sight, for a moment mere" - Stezhechka

Okean Elsy - "Misto Vesny" (together with Odyn v Kanoe); Sonce; Obiymy; Misto Mariyi; Bez Boyu; and lot's, lot's of others as I adore them endlessly>////<

Svyatoslav Vakarchuk, leader of group "Ocean Elzy" was a meaning and inspirationalist for a full generation of nowadays Ukrainian music. His voice, his poetism and visions, the delight and love to create in melodical and bird-like ukrainian had impact over perception of language, of unique music of our country, it's velvet-like, gorgeous expression, and his art itself raised and formed nowadays groups and musicians with their unique nature.

"Bez Boyu" and "Obiymy" was earlier works, more striking, rough but sensual, while "Misto Vesny" was the song that was written in a duet with "Odyn v Kanoe" right before invasion in 2022. It was the song in which they professed their love to their hometown, glorious and ancient city of Lviv, with gorgeous, simple and poetical tones in the video. The stone guardians of the city of Lions, the Cavyarnya's with delicate filizhanka's of coffee (ukrainian noblemans was also one of the earlier promoters of turkish kahve into Europe, and Lviv have personal, unique culture of that delight), the delicate architecture builded on invisible river (as Lviv vas also builded over river named Poltva, fully covering it with it's shape) - all of that is one tone of personal, nowaday's culture of western Ukraine.

After invasion there was "Misto Nadiyi", sacred to city of Mariupol and it's unbending warriors, a hymn of prideful sun. Not so long ago Okean Elsy also sang their old song, "Obiymy", standing at the ruins of Palac Prazy, in my dear homeland - Kharkiv.

"Why can't we forget about our downpours? Maybe for a heroes we were too delicate The walls and lions won't allow us to Scatter the ashes in which those dreams are still burn Those dreams in which I am once again Walking with you, at our dear Lviv, There is a smell of a spring, of the sun that is burning down Of the water, too, from river that has long been gone" - Misto Vesny

"Who are you? As you took my life and didn't return Who are you? You drank my blood and fall asleep inebriate Your eyes are calling, desiring me, they lead me to yourself, Who are you? And whoever you are - I shall not give up without a fight" - Bez Boyu

"None of warships gunpower Can ever destroy my dream As my heart shall never give away my faith And shall stand for the end of the days Glorious city of Mary As long as over prideful Azov sun shall rize" - Misto Mariyi

There is another place that I'd endlessly reccomend for everyone that has desire to hear ukrainian music and see the most melodical creators of our people - the ukrainian "Golos" (Voice), that beside creation of artistic and poetical nature was also platform of recreation of national craft over the years. It has a very delicate and loving touch to the ukrainian language and folk details, of high and proudful image of nowadays creators - most of the most beautiful and astonishing singers, like Khrystyna Soloviy or Odyn v Kanoe, came out of that project.

The most personal and beautifull for me are duet and trio of Alexander Klimenko - "Tvoi Grihy" and "Dumy moyi, dumy moyi" - the first was work of Tina Karol, judge of the show and current ambassador of Ukraine, interpreted and sung together with her, the second - poem of Taras Shevchenko.

The true folk elements can be found, for example, in "Zasvit Vstaly Kozachenky", old traditional warrior's song that was sung by Cossack Siromaha, and, of course, "Plyne Kacha" sung by Inna Ishenko.

Oh - and my personal favorite that I listened without ends currently, "Ptashechka" by Vivienne Mort, which doesn't really touches any of this columns but, just gorgeous o////o

"The wind, that goes by your hand Is a sin, that you did not yet forgive So turn to me, as I embrace pain Of your eyes, so deeply lonely, of your lone depth eyes.

Now I am embraced, dissolved by your eyes You - are my madness, my love and delight at the same time." - Tvoi Grihy

"Oh, don't scowl over me, mother of mine Don't scowl when there happens a woeful time As I am mysef never knew how I shall die..

..How can I not be miserable? How can I not be? You, my son, once was beared under my heart, You laid over it" - Plyne Kacha

"No one heard my song. Nobody heard. My soul was full - of love, unknown for you And it was soul, not me, that was revealed. And only sky had heard the song, my One. I never had that ache before - it hadn't sing that way, for no one else. My One… I am by myself all day Asked for will all day, for freedom from you, or freedom of being yours

And you can't know how much I love you. You go to your bed and I will stay in mine, breathless until morning comes, Until that morning and until that dawn I am myself, Without you I am all by myself, myself, myself, myselfmyselfmyself Myself I am a moonless star" - Ptashechka

[bogkeep]

there is a new philosophytube video about Interpretation Of Art and it's so so up my alley - like, hi, i studied art history and took a class in art philosophy, I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS the thing about Art that it's such a rich and meaty topic that it's impossible to cover everything about it. i'm probably one of the most obnoxious people to discuss the question of "what is art" with, i've had so many non-artists try to trip me up with "oh i know exactly how to define art" and it's like, trust me, if you can find a way to succinctly include everything You Personally consider art and exclude everything You Personally Don't, i'll give you a medal, otherwise you've just activated my ted talk powerpoint trap card. that's a discussion for another day, is what i'm saying. just because i literally went to university for this doesn't mean i know how to analyse art very well, nor am i an authority on Art Opinions. it's more like, i've given this a lot of thought from a lot of angles, and the TLDR is as usual, IT'S COMPLEX, IT'S CONTEXTUAL, IT'S SUBJECTIVE, IT'S GOING TO DIFFER FROM PERSON TO PERSON ARTWORK TO ARTWORK. i'd just like to continue the discussion, is all! the way i see it, every piece of art exists in as many ways as there are people engaging with it. yes, the artist's intent, skill and circumstance shaped it into what it is, but an artist cannot control how an audience will engage with their piece. you can possibly make an argument that if many people take a completely different message away from your work than what you intended, you've done a bad job of conveying it. i do think there's something to it, that so much of a creative craft is knowing how to successfully achieve the effect you desire. but then again, how does the most skilled craftsman in the world measure against Really Really Bad Reading Comprehension? bad reading comprehension exists for sure, but i also believe, that whatever version of a work someone has in their head is real to them. it's an interpretation that exists in some form, and there's nothing you can do about it. does it make it a good or a valid reading? who's to say, but it sure is a reading. if i've listened to a song for twenty years of my life without knowing what the lyrics were supposedly about, does that nullify those twenty years of what that song meant to me? I don't think so. if a writer creates a character that is autistic in everything but name but never realizes that's what they've written, does that invalidate every autistic reader that will connect and relate to them? if something made you laugh or cry or realize something about yourself, how is that experience unimportant? every artwork was created within the context of the artist, who they are, when they live, where they live, and all of it shapes their intent and their work. but everyone engaging with the work comes from their own context, everyone bring their own experiences to the table. everyone has lived their own life, you know? we all hold different knowledge. i also think a really big thing that doesn't get talked about enough is just, it's a big world, there's so many different cultures out here, and what you think is objective is probably not as objective as you think, because we're all soaked in the biases of our own cultures and our homes and the people we surround ourselves with. by whose standards do you judge art? we are not clean slates and art is a two way street. art affects reality and reality affects art, it's not some other dimension separate from the reality we live in. it's the thoughts and expressions of human beings alive in the world past and present. is there really just one correct way to engage with it all, is that not too narrow of a scope? look around you. you won't understand everything, you won't have opinions on everything, you won't connect to everything, you won't come from the right angle to everything. you might change your mind later or maybe never at all. sometimes though, sometimes things will hit you right at the right time, sometimes it just speaks to you, and that's an experience that's yours. y'know?

[inomios]

Eight types of love II Levi Ackerman

Summary: “There are eight types of love, and even though his life has been full of pain since the very beginning, he could say he experienced them all.”

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Word count: + 5k

Author note: This is the first thing I’ve ever published and I’m really nervous, so I would really appreciate if you reblogged, liked and commented. Also, English is not my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes. Constructive criticism is really appreciated.

                                                           . . . . 

1. AGAPE or Selfless love

           His mother would tell him everyday that she loved him with everything she had, even though it was not a lot. He asked his mother what love was, what meant loving someone. She couldn’t explain it with exact words, she would tell him that love meant caring deeply for someone, even more than for yourself. She loved him and he loved her, that much was true. He asked if he could love more than one person, his mom told him that yes, you could love many people in your life and in different ways. Then, he proceeded to ask if she had ever loved anyone else besides him, she was quiet, like she was thinking the right answer and after a few minutes she said that she had or at least she thought she did, but she had never loved someone as much as she loved him. Love was a confusing thing for him and the more he asked, the more unclear it got.

          The only thing he was sure of was that the only thing she loved was her mother. However, curious as he was, he would ask her questions about it all the time.

         ‘Is love the best thing in the world?’ 

        ‘Yes, Levi, it is the only thing that makes life worth it.’

        ‘Is love always good?’ 

       ‘Not always, sometimes it makes you sad.’

       ‘I don’t wanna be sad. I won’t love anyone else but you.’ 

      ‘You can’t choose who you love, sweetie.’

      ‘Love sucks.’ 

     ‘You will get it when you grow up.’

     ‘I’m already a grown-up.’

     He tried to get it, but he couldn’t. He prided himself of being smart, his mom would always tell him that he was really clever and witty for his age. Then, how come he wasn’t able to understand love. It was just a four-letter word: L-O-V-E, it couldn’t have such a deep meaning. ‘Door’ had also four letters and it wasn’t hard to understand and ‘Scandalous’, pretty much the biggest word for him, had ten letters and he knew what it meant, he could even use it in a phrase.

      His mom, noticing that he was about to collapse trying to figure out what has love, tried to come up with the best possible definition, one that would please his five-year old son.

    ‘Love is a selfless thing. Love means giving everything you have, to make the other person happy and content, even though you may not get back all you give. When you love someone, you only what the best for them. It can cause you pain too but loving someone and being loved back is one of the best things we can experience as humans. We may not have a lot, Levi, but we have each other and more important, we love one another and that makes us privileged.’

     He understood it then, kind of, so the questions stopped.

     However, when his mother’s body laid lifeless in bed, he regretted not making one last question: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

     Later, when he was under Kenny’s wing and after Kenny had left him at his own, he soon found an answer: no one would.

2. PHILIA or Affectionate love

           After his mother’s death, after Kenny, after everything, he thought that love was out of his reach, something he could never have again. Then Isabel and Farlan happened.

           Every single day since his mother died, he would ask himself if he would love again and if someone would love him back. However, at the same time, he wanted to know nothing about love, love brought pain and he had already suffered enough for a lifetime. He sometimes thought that he had an emptiness inside, a big hole where his heart should be, a room so big that no one could ever fill.

           After his mom came Kenny, but he was sure he did not love him, at least not like he had loved his mother, and he was sure as hell Kenny did not love him back. Love was supposed to be selfless and caring and Kenny was selfish and did not give a damn about him, he proved him that when he left him alone, again.

           Loneliness was a feeling he was already used to but being used to it didn’t mean he liked it. Then again, who would be dumb enough to love him? And he knew better than to love someone who would end up leaving him, like his mother did, like Kenny did.

           Well, maybe he did love Kenny, but loving him was painful. While loving his mother was sweet, freeing and it brought him solace and comfort; loving Kenny was toxic and tough, when he thought about it, it troubled him. He gave him a home and he taught him how to survive in the Underground, he didn’t know why, but he raised him, and Kenny never did something freely, he was sure something was missing there, but he didn’t know what. It was stupid of him to think that he cared about him, but a little white lie never hurt anyone. Loving Kenny, seeing him as the paternal figure he never had, filled him with turmoil and changed the way he perceived love.

           Love was weakness, it could bring you to your knees, he had learned that. It was pointless, why would you commit to something that would inevitably bring you sorrow? He wasn’t about to make the same mistake again, he knew better, the only person who would stay with him was himself and that wasn’t about to change.

           Then Isabel and Farlan walked into his life. Well, Farlan walked, Isabel stumbled.

           They became family. He knew better but he couldn’t help it. They were thick as thieves, literally. Suddenly, they became the family he yearned for since his mother died. He loved them with everything he had. Loving them was selfless as his mother said, he wanted the best for them, he wanted to see them happy, no matter the price. However, it was a different kind of love, it was pure affection. It wasn’t the adoration he had for his mother, nor the rage he felt for Kenny. It was tender and sweet, he never had a brother or a close friend to care about while growing up, but he thought it was supposed to feel like that, it had to be like that. It had to be another type of love. His mother told him that love was never the same, it had different shapes and, for him, at that moment love had Isabel and Farlan’s shape.

           Sadly, nothing good lasts forever, at least not for him. Love causes pain and brings you to your knees, he shouldn’t have forgotten that. When he saw Isabel’s head laying on the floor surrounded by a puddle of her own blood, mouth agape, eyes wide open and pale face, he fell to his knees. He saw a supercut of him, Isabel and Farlan, all the good times, all the laughs they shared and all the stories they still had to write but they would never be able to do because they weren’t there, not anymore, they were gone like his mother, like Kenny. He was alone again.

           Love always brought him to his knees and he would never forget it again. He wasn’t made for love; the same way love wasn’t made for him.

3. LUDUS or Playful love

           Meeting you happened out of pure coincidence, being in the right place at the wrong time.

           He had come from a long mission and he was completely and utterly fine, seriously, but Hange loved to make a big deal out of everything. Well, maybe he had an injury, but a minor one, nothing that he couldn’t take care of himself. He spent years in the Underground, he didn’t need a doctor, he could stitch himself up and place his bones back in place. However, Hange didn’t think the same and was nagging him about getting his injuries checked, so there he was, in one of the infirmary’s bed, waiting for the head doctor.

           It wasn’t that he was scared of doctors or “hospitals”, he just didn’t like the idea of some stranger touching him or feeling hopeless and powerless, he didn’t like feeling like he needed help or advice, he could do it pretty much on his own. But Hange didn’t really trust his medical abilities and he knew that arguing with her was pointless.

           ‘Doctor Brunner couldn’t come since he is busy with some paperwork, so he sent me. I’m his trainee y/n y/ln.’ 

           ‘I’m not letting some failed attempt of medic treat my wounds.’

           It wasn’t what people would call a ‘meet cute’ moment, it was more like a ‘meet jerk’. He wasn’t the best dealing with people, nor that he wanted to be, he preferred it that way. If you had been any other person, you wouldn’t have bitten back, but you had a sharp tongue and weren’t scared of him. That was probably what drew him in, he was so used to people recoiling in fear when they saw him that having someone that actually fought back was quite alluring.

           ‘Well, this failed attempt of a doctor knows more than you ever will, so act your age, stop being a bitch and let me tend your injuries.’

           ‘You have some nerve talking to me like that.’ 

           ‘You have some nerve coming to my workplace to insult me.’

           During that first encounter none of you said much to each other. He wasn’t fond on talking and you didn’t like his attitude, so you didn’t try to strike a conversation. He had to admit that you were good at you job, you tended him with care and you knew what you were doing, not that he would tell you, at least not yet.

           ‘Well, not so bad for a failed attempt of a doctor.’

           It was the closest thing to a compliment he could say, and it looked like you knew, because he swears that he saw you smile a little.

           ‘Aren’t you a pleasure to work with? The injury in your arm was pretty nasty and poorly treated, so luckily for you, you will have to drop by more times to check on you. These are my hours, if you want this failed attempt of a doctor to treat you, Captain. I could get used to see your friendly face now and then.’

           He didn’t know if the last part was supposed to be interpreted as flirting, but he did come back to visit you, to keep an eye of his injury, obviously. However, if you asked Hange, she would say that you had caught his eye, he still says that at that point in your relationship you annoyed him too much to find himself interested in you.

           His weekly visits turned into daily visits, so much for not liking you.

           ‘I’m starting to think I’ve managed to catch your attention, Captain.’ 

          ‘Tch, you’re just less annoying than the rest of the brats.’ 

          ‘Oh Captain, you really know how to make me blush.’

           He lied. You did catch his attention and you both knew it. It wasn’t love, not at all, it was a gentle curiosity that grew a little bit every day, like a flower blossoming.

           ‘Tch, you only know to say shit with that mouth of yours.’ 

           ‘This mouth of mine knows to do a lot of things, want me show you, Captain?’

           ‘When you return from the expedition, you have to come to the infirmary to see your wounds and stop playing the hero, it’s bullshit.’ 

            ‘I’m starting to think you may have an obsession for doing check-ups on me, brat.’ 

           ‘You caught me, I only do them because I can’t keep my hands of you, Captain.’

         ‘Why do you always call me Captain? It’s annoying, I’m not your superior.’

        ‘I know, but I like teasing you with it, Captain.’

        He cared for you more than he cared for other people in his life, he liked being with you, maybe that was another type of love. Loving his mother was selfless; loving Isabel and Farlan was affectionate; loving you, or whatever the hell he was felling, was playful, flirty and it filled him with joy.

       Maybe it wasn’t love, but it was getting there.

4. MANIA or Obsessive love

           Your relationship was frustrating everybody, absolutely every single person that knew about you two, everybody knew you had feelings for each other but none of you did something about it, you just kept tiptoeing around each other. It was painful to see. They didn’t know if you were oblivious, stupid, scared or if you were just messing with them, Hange believed the latter one because there was no way you two weren’t together already. The banter, the flirty remarks, the way he looked out for you and the way you took care of him.

           ‘What’s going on with you and y/n, Shorty?’ 

           ‘You tell me, Four-eyes’

           ‘Tell me the truth, y/n. Are you and Levi dating and just keeping it as a secret? Because I’m losing my mind.’ 

           ‘We aren’t dating, Hange.’

           To be honest, Levi was losing his mind too. The playful game turned into something more serious, something more obsessive and he didn’t like it. He couldn’t stop thinking about you and what were you doing while he was busy with paperwork. On missions his mind wandered about your wellbeing and if you were fine. He couldn’t ignore the way his heartbeat became erratic whenever you were close to him or the way he would notice every single thing about you. He felt powerless, there was no way to stop it.

           He, who always had a plan and knew to do, was helpless under something he could have prevented, or at least something he think he could have avoided. Deep down he knew that he would have fallen for you one way or another, some things are bound to happen, and love is one of them, but he didn’t want to admit that something as mundane as love could outpower him in his own life.

           He was aware of how you felt about him, you weren’t scared to be vocal about it and it drove him mad, and by the way his stoic eyes would gleam and glisten while looking at you, you were certain it was mutual. He knew that if he said the word or gave you signal, you’d be his and he’d be yours, but he couldn’t give you what you wanted, and it was a matter of time before you got tired of him. You were young and beautiful, one the most outstanding creatures he had ever seen, you could do better than him and you’d realize soon enough. Life was too short to waste it on him.

           ‘What are you waiting for, Levi? Do something about it because it’s getting painful to watch.’ 

           ‘Get off my fucking case, Four-eyes.’

           Everyone was waiting for him to do something, but he couldn’t. In those moments he remembered the question he wasn’t able to ask his mother: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’ His mother loved him, and she died, just like Isabel and Farlan, he couldn’t love you, because he’ll end up losing you, the same way he lost everyone else.

           He was loveless.

           But you weren’t, and you found someone to do what he couldn’t do, someone to love you like you deserved.

           He didn’t know a lot about them. You looked happier and that was all he cared about. He thought that seeing you with another person would calm his heart and his desires, but they only got worse, there was no way of forgetting about you. You were everywhere.

           ‘C’mon Levi, do something.’ 

          ‘Didn’t I tell you to drop it, Hange?’

           His visits stopped but you kept waiting for him, hoping he would come to his senses. You didn’t get it, you really didn’t. He had the opportunity, he could have taken the chance to be with you, but he didn’t, so you moved on, or tried to, you didn’t love your partner, but you could see yourself falling in love with them. However, you still missed Levi, not as a potential lover, but as a friend. The way he erased you from his life as you were nothing broke your heart. What did he want from you?

           He wanted everything. He wanted all of you and yet he couldn’t do anything about it. He was just frozen in time while you kept moving. He met your partner, they came to visit you once, they were gentle and loving, they looked at you like you were the brightest star in the firmament. They held your hand and kissed your lips. They did all the things he wanted to do. He was jealous, but he didn’t have the right to say something, he had never had the right.

           The way he looked at you made you feel guilty, like you were betraying him, and you were so confused and annoyed and angry and mad, and you really wanted to punch him in the face. So, you went to his room that night and stormed in.

           ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’ 

           ‘I should be asking that, I’m not the one barging in someone else’s room with no previous invitation.’

           He had never seen you like that, so mad and full of rage and it was all directed to him and he knew it was his fault.

           ‘What do you want of me, Levi?’

           He wanted everything.

           He wanted you.

           ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Could you please stop making me lose my time?’

           He saw it in your face, that was the last straw.

           ‘You’re selfish, an asshole, a prick and a lot of other things. But above it all, you’re a fucking coward, so much for Humanity’s Strongest. For fucks sake, Levi, I loved you, I still do, but I can’t keep waiting for someone who is too scared to do something about it. I want you and you want me too. What’s stopping you?’

           He remembered again, the question he never had the chance to ask: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

           You loved him and you weren’t scared of it. But he was, and you were about to leave the room. You turned your back on him and it was now or never. He had to choose: would he let you walk away definitely of his life or would he do something?

           For once, he didn’t think, he didn’t listen to his head, he listened to his heart. For so long he made himself believe that he didn’t have a heart, but his heart was right there, beating for you.

           He kissed you and you kissed him back.

           ‘Mine.’ 

          ‘Yours.’

5. EROS or Passionate love

           You both were private people, you didn’t want people talking about your relationship during its first stages, what you had was precious and new and you wanted to protect it from the world a little longer. That’s why no one really knew about the whole ordeal, well, they knew that something had shifted because you could be in the same room without making everyone uncomfortable with your unsolved issues, but they couldn’t pinpoint what had exactly changed, they just guessed that you sorted everything out, finally.

           However, Hange did know what changed. She prided herself on knowing Levi, after many years working with him she had learned that Levi only talked through his body language, so she started paying attention to what his body said instead of listening to the words he spewed. Therefore, when she asked him if he was dating you and he said a short no, he knew he was lying. She noticed how he seemed more at ease, how you had broken up with your partner, the way he would gravitate towards you and that when he looked at you, his eyes weren’t filled with longing and remorse, they were shinier and less cold than usual. So, she obviously knew that something was up, but she kept quiet. She may talk way too much, and people could find her annoying, but at the end of the day she was a good friend, and she would respect that neither of you wanted to make things public.

           Keeping things private was harder than he originally thought, he was distant and cold to everyone, but he couldn’t be cold and distant with you when you made him burn inside and he could only think about holding you close. It was weird for him, he had spent so many years deprived of touch that he couldn’t imagine himself getting addicted to it, but he was wrong, so wrong.

           You knew that Levi was touch starved, you didn’t need to be a genius to notice. When you picked up his body language and started hearing about his childhood, everything came together: his mother died when he was very young, the most paternal figure he had was toxic and abusive to him and since Isabel and Farlan he didn’t let anyone in easily. Levi wasn’t used to someone doting him and you knew that if you started showering him with affection, it would probably scare him off a little, and that was the last thing you wanted. So, you started slowly: holding hands, gentle caresses, kisses in his cheek, hugs, light pecks on the lips and when you saw that he started getting more comfortable, things started scaling on their own, you let him mark the pace. It wasn’t a quick process, but it was worth it.

           After a few months, Levi couldn’t keep his hands of you and he surely didn’t want you to keep your hands off him. This was a new kind of love, at first, on the early stages of your relationship it was playful, but then it evolved into something more passionate: quick pecks turned into open mouthed kisses; holding hands innocently turned into holding you close while you came undone under him again and again; kisses now went lower and lower, exploring new parts of you that he hadn’t seen and that no one else would. He didn’t think that touch could mean so much to him, but it did now, and he knew that couldn’t ever go back to a touchless life where you wouldn’t be there to love him.

6. PHILAUTIA or Self-love

          He wasn’t neither deaf, blind or stupid. He could hear what people had to say about your relationship, how you deserved better than him; he could see his reflection on the mirror and how he wasn’t beautiful, at least not as much as you, he wasn’t the male that would make people swoon and he knew that you could have any man or female you wanted, but you chose him, out of every other person, you decided to be with him. He was a lucky bastard and you didn’t make good decisions, what a match.

           You would look at him like he held the stars in the sky, and you would touch him like he was about to disappear in any moment, as if he were a dream you were afraid to wake up from. He didn’t get why him, he wasn’t the most handsome, nor the nicest, nor the easiest to love, and you still decided to keep him around. He liked to think that he was smart or cleverer than the average, and yet he couldn’t grasp his head around that the fact you loved him and just him, and that was it, it was as simple as that.

           Whenever you heard the things people said about your partner, you went feral, because you knew all those comments fueled the self-hate Levi had. Being loveless for so long it obviously affected the perception he had of himself and you wanted to change that, because he deserved it, he deserved all the happiness in this dull world. He liked to play strong, but you saw through him, and even though he never acted upon them, it hurt him. You wished he could see himself through you eyes, because it caused you pain the mere idea of him thinking less of himself, that he wasn’t worthy of your love.

           You would tell him every day how much you loved him, as if you were reciting a prayer to your own god.

           ‘I love you.’

           ‘You’re beautiful.’

           ‘I could stare at you for the rest of my life.’

           ‘I don’t know what I would do without you.’

           You would tell him that he needed to love himself, see the good inside of him, he guessed that that was one the types of love he had yet to discover: self-love. He didn’t see himself capable of loving himself nearly the half of how much you loved him.

           ‘You know one reason why you should love yourself, because you make me the happiest I’ve ever been.’

              He didn’t love himself, not yet, but if he was able to make you smile like that, he couldn’t be that unworthy of you.

7. STORGE or Familiar love

              He had been avoiding love for as long as he could remember, and then you burst into his life with the force of a typhoon. Love had found him, and he couldn’t get away, you never can, it was a lesson that he had finally accepted.

             For so long he saw love as something unnecessary, a burden for the soul. Love ruins you, it stabs you on the back, whenever he let his walls down, love would always take advantage of it and destroy him, bringing him closer to insanity, he had lost himself too many times by loving people and when he met you, he did not want the cycle to repeat itself. He didn’t want more Kuchels, Kennys, Isabels and Farlans, love was merciless, and he wasn’t interested in it, at least that was what he told to himself every day, that he was better off alone. Was all the pain worth it? He thought love came with a high price and he couldn’t afford it. However, things change, life happens, destiny has always something in the store, well, in his case he had someone.

           You were his everything, the beacon that brought light in his life, for so long he had been lost, walking amongst shadows, nearly becoming one, and when you appeared you changed the rules of the game, of his game. Every wall he had built around himself came down and you filled every gap his heart was missing. It was the scariest thing he had ever done, letting you in, letting someone in, giving someone else the control of his own heart. You knew the power you held between your hands and you never abused it. You were his solace in this mad world, the oasis in the middle of the desert.

         Loving him was not easy, he knew it, he was rude, sharp, too closed off, mean, he was what people liked to call a ‘fucking jerk’ and yet you never gave up on him, on what you had. Instead of leaving when you had the chance, you stayed through thick and thin: through sleepless nights, through his bad moods and grumpiness, through his biting remarks… .You didn’t ran way, you were too stubborn for that, instead you taught him more forms of love.

         You were all of the ones he knew and more.

         You were selfless, giving him every part of you and loving him with everything you had to offer.

         You were his best friend, his companion, the better half of him.

         You were playful, joyous, probably the only thing that could make him smile and bring him happiness.

         You were consuming, like a fire burning inside of him.

         You were passionate, intoxicating.

         You were every form of love he had ever experienced, but nothing could have ever prepared him for the kind of love he was experiencing in that moment: the familiar one. The one you feel when you hold your newborn in your trembling hands. It was something he couldn’t describe, there weren’t words for it, he tried to, but he failed every single time.

         This was the way his mom loved him, and then he knew how much he had meant for his own mother. While holding little Kuchel on his arms, he remembered all those days and nights on that dirty brothel, all the hours he spent by his mother’s side, how she would do everything to give him the best life and he soon realized there was nothing in this world he wouldn’t do for his daughter. It wasn’t the best of times to have a child, but in that moment, in that precise instant, when Kuchel opened her grey eyes, he was sure of one thing: he would tear everything and everyone down only to see her smile.

        A knock on the door. Another one. Two minutes passed and then Hange, followed by Erwin, entered in the room.

       ‘Tch, Shitty-glasses, who gave you permission to come in?’ 

       ‘My authority as a god-mother.’

       ‘Don’t make me regret it.’

      ‘She’s beautiful, what’s her name?’ 

     ‘Her name is Kuchel.’

     Kuchel was his new world, he loved her so much that it was overwhelming, he would never love someone as much as he loved her, and no one would probably love with the same devotion Levi Ackerman loved his daughter.

    ‘You know, Kuchel, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I promise you that you will have the best life a man like me can give you. I may be a little cold, perhaps a little strict and you will probably get mad at me sometimes, but no matter what happens, I will love you through everything. And by the way, no dating until I’m dead because no brat will be good enough for you. You deserve the world Kuchel and I’ll give you everything it has to offer. Things may get hard, you aren’t born in the best circumstances, but I’ll protect you because you deserve the life I couldn’t live.’

     Kuchel’s first word was ‘dadda’.

     Kuchel’s first steps were pointed towards his father.

     Kuchel’s favorite pastime was being in his father’s arms.

     Kuchel could only sleep after his father had kissed her forehead.

     And Kuchel would never love someone as much as he loved his father, because she loved him as much as he loved her.

8. PRAGMA or Enduring love

           He was old and wrinkly, he was scarred, mutilated and there were days he couldn’t sleep because the nightmares were too real. But he was happy, he was married to the most beautiful and special person he had ever met, he had a loving daughter, a bunch of brats he was proud to call grandchildren and the tea shop he had always dreamed about.

           Life hadn’t been fair to him. He had lost so many people he cared about, he had fought a war and he had had the weight of the world on his shoulders. But, after all, after the tortures, the adversities, the deaths… He had people who loved and whom he loved.

          Love was worth it. He had finally learned that.

          At his seventies he found out about the last kind of love, the enduring, the one that lasts and survives in time. He loved his family above everything, and he would love them long after his bones turn into ashes and no one remembers his name.

         Then he recalled that question he never got to ask his mother: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

         He looked at the sky and smiled.

        ‘After all someone was fool enough to love me mom, who would have thought?’

         A gentle breeze caressed his skin and a single tear fell from his eye.

        ‘I guess that’s the way you have of answering the question.’

[aminiatureworld]

Enigmatic Feelings II

Characters: Beidou, Childe, Eula, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,402

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: In which the reader’s s/o is jealous

Author’s Note: Decided to tack on two characters to the request. This is my first time writing for Eula, and I think this prompt really fit her. She really reminds me of Kaguya Shinomiya in mindset, which is kinda hilarious. I hope I wrote her well!

In case you’re wondering, I kept all the NPCs gender neutral so that the reader might interpret them as they wish.

Beidou

Beidou and her crew tended to get drunk. Like, a lot. Rowdy parties soaked in alcohol, audible from Guyun Stone Forest to Qingce Village were simply part of ship culture. Though they might’ve been loud and somewhat disorganized, there was never any sense of overstepping boundaries, and things never ended up going too far.

Or at least that’s what Beidou would’ve liked to think. Watching you and another shipmate moseying up to one another was a surprisingly unpleasant experience, and Beidou took another swig of her flask to wash out the acidic taste in the back of her mouth.

What did it even matter if someone was flirting with you? It was the end of a long haul, emotions were running high, and everyone knew that you were the captain’s partner. Everyone knew that nothing serious would come of a little flirting, and the occasional compliment or teasing remark towards you here and there had never really bothered Beidou before. She wasn’t about to be jealous of a few flirty shipmates; after all, the ability to sweet talk should probably be a requirement for signing up for piracy anyways.

Maybe it was just how blatant the flirting was, so different than the usual passing, good-natured banter. Beidou knew how well each of her shipmates could hold their liquor. She also knew how quickly norms and rules tended to be thrown out the window the moment one got plastered. Even if the shipmate meant nothing truly malicious or devious in their words, Beidou couldn’t rule out the fact that they were probably genuinely flirting.

Neither could she ignore the fact that you were distinctly flirting back. Beidou wasn’t really surprised by this turn of events, after all you’d always responded with a good natured tease at the remarks flown you way and even engaged in some meaningless flirting yourself towards the other members of the ship. It was part of ship culture after all, to be so open and careless. The sea was never calm or placid, why should her voyagers be so? Still, Beidou couldn’t deny the fact that she was uncomfortable by the current situation, protocol be damned.

A part of her wanted to go up and tell you right out; you were her partner, and she was sure that you’d be able to understand what she was feeling. Yet pride kept her at her seat, downing more liquor to distract herself from her conundrum. After all, it’d be kind of hypocritical of her to cultivate a familiar ship culture and then turn around and revoke it at the drop of a hat, wouldn’t it? Nor would it feel right to enforce rules upon others that she herself didn’t follow. It’s not like Beidou hadn’t ever flirted with or teased someone else without thinking too much about it. How could she blame her crew for following her example?

Still the sight of you and your shipmate danced in front of her eyes, urging her to do something she’d surely regret. Beidou let out a loud sigh, something that wasn’t ignored by the people around her.

“You alright captain?” Juza eyed Beidou worriedly. One of the other hard drinkers on the ship, Beidou knew that she couldn’t rely on alcohol to allay her Chief Mate’s worries.

“I’m fine!” She spoke loudly, plastering a large grin upon her face. “I was just thinking about how proud I am of all of you! How much of a tight-knit crew we are!”

Beidou could tell that she was garnering the attention of the rest of the shipmates and stood up. She had neglected to make a speech so far, so wrapped up was she in the scene playing out before her eyes. Clearing her throat Beidou held up her flask, the eager anticipation of her crewmates combining with the liquid fire in her system, causing a wave of rash confidence to run through her. At least she was an entertaining speechmaker.

“I look out upon the faces of warriors now! We may be somewhat irregular, an anomaly of the seas. However, that doesn’t change our bond, our fierce loyalty, our capabilities. I look out upon a group of people closer than family! Perhaps you’ve had brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles, but tell me this! Could any of those members of your previous lives fight back to back with you? No! They could not! We are a special breed, and there will never be anyone who can understand us as we can understand each other! And we ought to never forget this! Do not forget the brotherhood forged by fire. I know that I never will!”

Cheers erupted from every corner as sailors drank gleefully. A few of the more out of commission crewmates were sobbing uglily, hugging whoever was in their vicinity and making slightly incomprehensible statements of affection and loyalty. Beidou sat down, smiling at the chaos in front of her. Yes, she really was part of a band of brothers, and there was no reason to forget or doubt that. Why was it then that she felt as if she’d been somewhat deceitful? And why was it then that her eyes once more drifted towards you and the sailor who was now enthusiastically slapping you on the back?

The rest of the night passed in a haze of alcohol, as Beidou downed drink after drink. She didn’t walk up to you, didn’t try to acknowledge the source of her unease. Why should she? It was a party after all, and there were other things to do. Passing out just as the sun was beginning its ascent once more into the sky Beidou wondered if she was always going to feel this way when anyone got slightly flirty with you. If so, well, she was in for a rough time.

The next day was greeted by a pounding headache. The sun was much too bright, and Beidou let out an annoyed yelp as she stumbled towards her window, trying to not fall flat on her face as she grasped for the curtains. Yanking on them awkwardly she had just managed to get them somewhat closed before there was a knock on her door. Cursing the captain drew herself up as much as she possibly could in her current state, hoping that her clothes didn’t look too much like she’d simply slept in them.

“Come in.”

“I thought you might want a pitcher of water.”

Your voice was soft and slightly apologetic. Letting out a sigh of relief Beidou nodded, allowing herself to stumble back towards her hammock and flop onto the blanket. Wow she had drank a lot last night. You walked over to her desk, steps too steady to be that of a hungover person. Pouring a glass of water you stared at Beidou as she drank, a question in your eyes.

“What is it? You seem to want to ask me a question.”

“Are you sure you’re up to answering?”

“Well now I won’t be able to rest until you tell me it.”

“Fair enough,” you smiled. “Was something wrong last night?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“I mean you didn’t even walk over to me once. I was kind of surprised, to be honest.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, I just want to know why you were avoiding me.”

“I wasn’t avoiding you.” Beidou wrinkled her nose. Her head throbbed in protest and she quickly dropped the expression, sighing before taking another drink of water. “Well, perhaps I was slightly avoiding; but it’s wasn’t your fault.”

“Whose fault was it then?”

Beidou paused, trying to gather her thoughts as she searched for an answer. “You know that I don’t mind some familiarity on this ship.”

“Yes, as you so eloquently put last night,” you giggled slightly. Ignoring the subtle tease Beidou continued on.

“Well, I mean it; but it seems like I’m not very good at following my own rules. That shipmate you were flirting with last night? I just, I don’t know. Normally I don’t mind, y’know? But this time, well, it couldn’t stop bothering me. Even though you didn’t seem to mind it at all.”

“I didn’t mind it because he was drunk off his ass.” You pointed out, voice still soft and understanding. Taking one of Beidou’s hands in yours you leaned over to press a quick kiss on your partner’s forehead. “I’m sorry to hear it was bothering you though.”

“It’s not just that,” Beidou admitted. It seemed the floodgates of her thoughts had opened, and now she felt the need to tell you everything. “It’s that I couldn’t even follow my own rules, that I couldn’t stop myself from feeling… almost resentful. A captain, a good leader, they follow their own rules. It’s the only way to whip all the idiots into shape. But I couldn’t do that, I failed last night; I failed as a leader, I failed as a partner. I couldn’t follow my own example. Some leader.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” you murmured. Squeezing Beidou’s hand you shook your head slightly. “I know that the people on this ship sort of see you as a goddess, which you are, to me at least. Still, even goddesses can sometimes have flaws. Besides, if a shipmate ever came to you with these fears you’d absolutely laugh it off, give them a pat on the back, and send them on their way. So maybe you should follow your own example in that way. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

Beidou’s gut reaction was to contradict you, to point out once more how she had failed. However she was too tired, and your point was making a suspicious amount of sense. “Very well,” she smiled slightly, “you have a way with words darling. You sure you haven’t missed a career as a siren?”

“I already have a lovely sailor, thank you very much,” you giggled. Pressing soft kisses across Beidou’s cheeks you stood up. “Now drink a lot of water and get some rest. We can’t have our captain out of commission.”

“I trust I’m not the only one sleeping in today?”

“Oh definitely not! It’ll probably take a week before we’re in any shape to treasure hunt again.”

“Pity.”

“So greedy!” You gasped in fake surprise.

“As if you didn’t know that when you signed up.”

“I don’t know I never pegged you as the jealous type,” you said in a sing-song voice. Beidou felt her cheeks redden.

“Shaddup.”

Your laughter filled the cabin, bright and rejuvenating. Beidou couldn’t help but crack a small smile herself. How had she ever gotten so lucky in regards to her partner? Regardless of how, she wasn’t about to take you for granted.

  Childe

Childe liked to think of himself as one of the “good ones” when it came to Harbingers to work under. Was he somewhat demanding and only expected the best when it came to combat? Well, yes. Did he regularly debase his coworkers and underlings? No, he wasn’t Scaramouche after all. As long as you were passionate in your drive to serve the Tsaritsa and as long as you never missed out on your training, well Childe was sure that he could never have a problem with you.

That was, in fact, not true.

One of the Fatui messengers had been talking to you for almost twenty minutes now, though about what Childe hadn’t the slightest idea. After all, he’d already gotten the message that he needed, and the messenger surely had no business with you – you didn’t even work for the Fatui. Still there the messenger stood and there you stood next to him, a small smile on your face as you let out a soft laugh in regards to whatever they were saying.

Childe knew that he had no reason to feel as he did, but that didn’t stop irritation from rising inside him, and a sudden urge to flaunt his superiority that he usually reserved for the field of battle rose up inside of him. He didn’t quite understand why he was suddenly struggling against the urge to run up to you and throw his arms around you, but the urge was certainly there. What in Teyvat were you talking to that messenger about? What could possibly take up so much of your time? Considering the small fragments of conversation that made it to his ears Childe ruled that it was nothing truly of importance.

Letting himself lounge even more across his office chair Childe let out a slight sound of annoyance. Weren’t the two of you doing something before the nuisance came along? Sure, it wasn’t necessarily the most important thing, but discovering the best place in Liyue to study the stars was hardly worthless. After all, being somewhere high up and with a good view meant a better survey of the land around you. Who knew when some pesky Millelith or intrepid adventurer might try to attack the Fatui members scattered across the plains and mountains in Liyue? It was imperative to have eyes on everything, certainly more important than whatever this was!

Finally giving into his rising irritation Childe walked over to the two of you. Slinging an arm around your shoulder, Childe tried to give the messenger a smile that didn’t convey ‘scram or I’m kicking you out’. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but my partner and I have business to do and I’m sure that your other messages won’t deliver themselves. To the Tsaritsa information is everything and all that, so you should probably make sure people actually get said information.”

“Oh, uh, yes my lord. I’m sorry.”

The messenger pulled himself up straighter, giving an awkward bow. Turning to go the messenger didn’t fail to turn back around to give you one last smile. Accentuating his smile once more Childe finally detached himself from you as the messenger walked out of the office, shutting the door softly behind him.

After that the messenger seemed to be showing up everywhere. Childe could’ve sworn he was getting more mail in a week than he had in all his previous months in Liyue. Not to mention how awkward the timing of the deliveries seemed to seemed to be. What was the point of getting “important” mail right before the Bank ostensibly closed? What was Childe supposed to do with the information now? Never mind the fact that the letters and notes he was getting seemed to be getting more and more mundane, even nonsensical. A shipment of weaponry to be picked up, that might be important. But specifications on the renovations Dottore was making on his lair? Why would Childe ever need to know something like that?

Nor did it escape Childe’s notice that these messages always seemed to come with at least twenty minutes of conversation with you. How was the Harbinger supposed to concentrate when someone was yakking away in his office? Besides, what did it matter to you what this person’s favorite flowers were? Childe knew that the Tsaritsa was often quite ingenious in her schemes, but he truly couldn’t see what relaying someone’s favorite flowers could do? Had he mentioned before that you weren’t even a member of the Fatui?

Every day the messenger would endlessly chat with you about the stupidest things, and every day Childe would end up interrupting the two of you. What started with slinging an arm around your shoulder was slowly escalating. First it was an arm, then two, then an arm around your waist, then a head on your shoulder. One time he’d even pulled you right against him, smiling slightly as you let out a squeak of surprise.

Of course Childe knew what he was experiencing, was not necessarily unfamiliar with the concept of jealousy. Still, he wasn’t about to tell you about it. After all jealousy was a shallow, grasping sort of emotion; something that caused generals to fight against one another to approach him or the Harbingers instead of tending to their own troops. Jealousy was a useless sort of emotion, and not one that a warrior such as himself ought to feel. Besides, did he really need to feel jealous about an annoyingly persistent messenger? They were hardly above a weed in the hierarchy of things.

Still, Childe couldn’t exactly deny that he was feeling jealous. Avoidance was one thing, deceit was another. Even if he didn’t want to tell you about what he was feeling, he would never lie to you about it. Which is why at the end of another tedious twenty minute conversation when the messenger had finally left and you turned around to ask him if something was wrong Childe found himself frozen, stuck between quite the rock and a hard place.

“Why would you ask such a question darling? Does something seem wrong to you?”

“Childe, please. You’ve been clingier than barnacle recently. Are you even supposed to be at the office today; weren’t you supposed to inspect an outpost in Dragonspine today?”

“I just wanted to spend some time with my wonderful, amazing partner! Is there something wrong with that?”

“For you? Yes, there absolutely is. Childe, are, are you upset about something?”

Childe stared at you for a moment, crumbling under your persistent gaze. He could tell that you were worried, could tell in the slant of your mouth and the furrow of your brow. He couldn’t very well say no. That would be lying after all. He was upset about something, even if it was something utterly beneath him. He was still upset.

“That messenger has been annoying me.”

“The one that just left?” You turned to look at the closed door behind you, a puzzled expression on your face. “But why?”

“Isn’t it obvious? They’re flirting with you.”

“They’re not!” Your expression was incredulous, but you paused for a moment, obviously thinking about something very seriously. “At least, I don’t think they are. Are they?”

“Yes,” Childe let out a snort. “I can’t believe you didn’t notice. Why else would they be delivering the most worthless information before chatting with you when they should be somewhere else?”

“I guess you’re right,” you admitted. “But Childe, it’s not like I’d ever be interested in them. I mean, I can see how it’d be kind of annoying to have someone invade your personal space, but why the clinginess?”

Childe stared at you for a moment. “You’re kinda dense you know.”

“I’m not!”

“Oh you absolutely are. How else would you not realize that I’m jealous?”

“Well, well because I don’t know. You just don’t seem the jealous type. Besides, it’s not like I’d ever have interest in anyone other than you. I don’t know, I just don’t see the point.”

“You really are dense.” Childe smiled a small, frustrated smile. Letting his head drop into the crook of your neck he let out sigh. “I know that there’s no reason that I should’ve be jealous. I just, am. I don’t know why, but seeing that messenger flirting with you for days on end, I couldn’t help it.”

“Hey, it’s alright.” Your tone shifted slightly as you reached up to card gentle fingers through Childe’s orange locks. “Sometimes we’re just weird like that. Just as long as you know that you never have reason to be jealous, then you can be jealous sometimes. Alright?”

“Alright.” Childe whispered, finally letting himself relax a bit.

Raising his head he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. You let out a small purr of happiness, gladly reciprocating. The weight on the Harbinger’s chest lightened, and he was finally met with the feeling of lazy contentment.

“Now, don’t you have an inspection to attend?” You smiled indulgently. “Go on, I’ve got errands to do anyways. As much as I appreciate the attention, you have to lessen the clinginess, okay?”

“Can’t make any promises darling.”

The sound of your indignant squawk, combined with Childe’s laughter, chased him out of the room and down the staircase.

  Eula

As a member of the esteemed Lawrence family Eula was confident in the fact that such base emotions as jealousy were utterly beneath her. What did people take her for? A commoner? What a presumptuous line of thought!

No, it was certainly not jealousy that Eula was feeling right now. What a preposterous notion. She was simply irritated that a Guild member had forgotten all respect due to the Knights of Favonius. After all, you were a part of Mondstadt’s frontline protectors, a far cry from those poor fools who relied only upon commission to prove their worth. Yes, it was simply how presumptuous that lowly Guild member was being, taking up your time on your patrol across the parapet of the wall surrounding Monstadt, to engage in such a frivolous act as flirting.

Surely there was nothing more to it? No, it was not even worth it to pose such a stupid question. After all, what was a lowly adventurer to Eula? A nuisance, perhaps, but nothing more. Certainly nothing to be worried about. There was no reason to pause at the tower door, no reason not to simply walk over to you, her partner and coworker. Your time on patrol was done, it was time to come in. Why then was she hesitating?

“You must love the view up here,” the adventurer smiled widely.

“Yes, it’s very nice!” You were all smiles.

“I’m sure it’s made all the more beautiful by your presence,” the adventurer pressed on.

“Ah, t-thanks,” you replied, smiling again and reaching to grasp the back of your neck. “Really, you’re too kind.”

“Not at all!”

The adventurer appeared to want to say something else, but Eula had long ago decided that things had gone too far. Who did this mere Guild member think they were?

“Your time is up soldier, you are needed in the afternoon meeting.”

Eula tried to keep her posture as correct as possible, looking straight past the interloper to you. You seemed to brighten, rushing over to Eula and nodding enthusiastically.

“Eula! Of course! I’ll be down, right this instant.”

“Good,” Eula replied, giving a curt not. Glancing over towards the adventurer she crossed her arms. “As for you, layawaying a knight of Favonius is a blemish upon the Adventurer’s Guild. Such a discretion surely must be paid with vengeance. Mark my words, I will not let this deed go unpunished.”

The adventurer stiffed. Taking a step towards Eula their face contorted into a snarl. “Listen here you Lawrence –”

“We’ll be going now!” You jumped in, glancing at you Eula nodded. Turning around she kept her features neutral. However she noticed the way you gestured apologetically at the fool before going to follow Eula, expression one of undeniable embarrassment.

Perhaps it was too much to hope that the adventurer might’ve learned their lesson. There they were the next day, standing right in front of you, acting as if yesterday’s squabble had never happened. Talking your ear off just as before Eula couldn’t help but frown at how they were to you, how they always seemed just about to brush their fingers against yours. How crude to do such a thing to a perfect stranger.

“Dear, is everything alright?”

Your voice snapped Eula out of her reverie. The two of you were walking towards Headquarters to grab your extra equipment before heading home. Normally Eula cherished such quiet moments, feeling like they were the few times when she could be utterly confident, utterly herself. This time however she found the events of the week pressing on her. Only managing to nod Eula quickened her pace slightly, as if to outrun the feelings that were growing inside her.

 “Hey, is something wrong?”

Eula lifted her gaze away from the papers she’d been halfheartedly scanning, her eyes meeting Amber’s. Eula would be the first person to admit that she wasn’t exactly sure how she had become friends with the eccentric Outrider. Indeed most of the things about Amber on paper grated Eula quite a bit. Still Amber was probably Eula’s closest coworker – other than you – and closest thing to a best friend that Eula had. It was perhaps unsurprising that Amber should notice something was wrong, and Eula was almost pleased by the fact that Amber was concerned about her.

“Nothing of great importance,” the knight replied. “There is only a nuisance which has been taking up a great deal of time and seems to still be interfering, despite all my efforts.”

“What kind of nuisance?” Amber tilted her head. Eula looked away, staring at the shelves that lined her office. She didn’t really want to look her coworker in the eyes.

“A, human nuisance. There has been an adventurer from the Guild who has been taking up a great deal too much of my partner’s time. They are utterly too presumptive in familiarity, and I feel that they are jeopardizing the Knights of Favonius with their irresponsible actions. Yet, despite all my efforts, they refuse to rethink their devious ways. It is no small problem.”

“That does sound very unpleasant.”

“Indeed, and yet I know not what to do. My reprimands have fallen on deaf ears.”

“Have you thought of maybe telling your partner.”

“Why would I ever reveal such feelings to my partner?!” Eula whipped her head around to look at Amber. The smile on her face was somewhat self-congratulatory.

“Eula, can I ask if you’ve considered something?”

“What is that?” Whatever Amber was about to say, it wasn’t going to be good.

“Have you considered the possibility that you might be jealous?”

“What, what nonsense! As if I should ever fall prey to such, to such base sensibilities!” Eula felt her face redden. Finding a particularly dirty spot upon the ground Eula stared intently past her friend. No, surely Amber was wrong.

“If you say so,” Amber shrugged. “But you might want to think about it. I mean, if I were feeling jealous I’d want to tell my partner. Besides, isn’t it the duty of a knight of Favonius to be honest and true?”

“You’re taking this awfully seriously,” Eula mumbled.

“Maybe,” Amber smiled, “but I do care about you. Remember that.”

With that the Outrider grabbed the paper she’d presumably been looking for and walked out the door before Eula could think of any sort of comeback. Turning her gaze back to her work Eula let out an exasperated sigh. Vengeance would be required against her coworker for such a ridiculous suggestion.

It was beginning to get on evening as Eula raced towards your regular guard spot. She’d worked later than usual today, probably spurned on by irritation at Amber’s ridiculous suggestions, and now Eula hoped that you hadn’t given up waiting for her and decided to go home. Climbing up the stairs her mind drifted once more to what Amber had said. Jealous? A member of the Lawrence clan was jealous? No, it was surely ridiculous. I mean, sure, she found the majority of her family members repulsive and vain and lazy to a fault, but surely she had to take something out of all the time she had spent within their midst. Besides, appearances had to be kept up, if only for the song and dance that the other people of Liyue insisted on continuing, long after it had stopped being of any use.

And yet, if she really was jealous, which of course she wasn’t, wouldn’t it be right to tell you? It was these thoughts that chased Eula. As she reached the top of the stairs to the opening of the parapet she decided that, if Amber’s theory were somehow proved right, she would tell you. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, the familiar silhouette of an adventurer meant it was the perfect time to figure this question out.

“It’s pretty late, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I suppose it is,” you smiled. “Still, Monstadt must be guarded day and night, mustn’t it?”

“Ah yes, the Knights must do all they can to protect our glorious city. Still, would there not be another reason for you staying up here so late?”

“Not particularly,” you shook your head.

“Are you sure about that?” The adventurer leaned towards you. Eula once more felt her heart seize up with that now all too common emotion. Was this jealousy?

“Uhm, I’m pretty sure.” The more that Eula had watched this song and danse the more she had realized how awkward you seemed around this person.

“Oh come on, a lonely figure looking out from on a wall, it’s sounds pretty story-like doesn’t it? Then again, you are straight out of a fairytale.”

“Thanks,” you replied, laughing somewhat awkwardly.

At this point Eula had come to a decision. Regardless of what this emotion was, and she was becoming increasingly worried it was, in fact, jealousy, you still seemed to be somewhat uncomfortable. Walking out onto the parapet she took your hand, glaring at the adventurer which stood across from you.

“I see you are once more distracting one of the Knights.”

“They didn’t mind, did you?” The adventurer’s mouth screwed up into something resembling a sneer. When you said nothing they shook their head. “You just had to come and make everything awkward; typical of a Lawrence member to be such a pain in the ass.”

“And now you insult one of the Knights! Indeed, the punishment will surely be great; and, until I decide what punishment is to be meted out, I suggest you take your leave.”

“You can’t tell me what to do!” The adventurer sputtered, but Eula merely smiled.

“Indeed I can. If I find you harassing one of our Knights one more time, know that I will not be so lenient as to merely give you a warning.”

“I wasn’t harassing anyone!”

“Distracting them then, making them unable to perform their duties, being a public nuisance. Do any of these serve you better?” Eula waved her hand. “Not that the terminology matters at this point. What matters is that you stop your current behavior.”

“Please just listen to what Eula says,” you piped up. Smiling a small smile you walked over to the adventurer. “I know that you were just trying to flirt, but I think that you should shoot your shot elsewhere now. Okay?”

The adventurer looked slightly red in the face, though whether it was embarrassment or anger was anyone’s guess. Slinking away, grumbling something under their breath, the Guild member was soon down the stairs and out of sight.

Sighing loudly you turned to Eula.

“Thanks for that. I mean, really! I don’t think they were trying to be actively malicious, but really sometimes you just have to read a room! I’m just glad I didn’t have to break it to them by myself.”

Staring at the stones under her feet Eula found herself mumbling something.

“What?”

“It, it wasn’t for your sake.”

“Ah yes, I know, it was for the honor and glory of the Knights of Favonius! Still, thank you.”

“No, I didn’t mean that. It was that, well, Amber’s been talking to me.”

“Amber?” You tilted your head, evidently confused by the sudden turn of the conversation. “What was she talking to you about?”

“About a very foolish emotion, one that I would never dream of feeling myself. And yet, I, I do believe that maybe, just maybe mind you, it had a factor in, in my actions.” Unwilling to come right out with it Eula found herself frowning. “The audacity of her really, to imply that a member of the Lawrence family might experience something as base as jealousy!”

Looking up towards you Eula saw recognition pass over your features. For a moment you did nothing, then suddenly a small, soft smile broke out on your face. Walking over to Eula, you gently enclosed your partner’s hands in yours.

“Thank you for telling me Eula, I’m sure it must’ve been difficult.”

“I-I’m not sure about it yet!” Eula stammered. “Only Amber wouldn’t stop talking about it.”

“That does sound like Amber,” you let out a soft laugh. “Still, thank you for telling me. It means a lot to me, okay?”

“A-alright.”

“I’m glad.”

You leaned over to give Eula a quick peck, before turning to walk down the stairs. Eula followed, one of her hands still intertwined firmly with yours. Suddenly her heart felt lighter than it had all week.

[13uswntimagines]

Our Troublemaker (USWNT x Baby!reader)

Request: uswnt x reader where reader gets into some trouble at a pride event they all go to, when they get back to hotel reader is punished and then fluff and cuddles to end

Author’s Note: Special thanks to @literaryhedgehog​ for her addition of fluff and mediation of my crazy thoughts. So this universe can be taken several different ways, as i didn’t explicitly define it. Feel free to interpret it in your favorite context. Also, I would totally be down for continuing this universe... Hit me up with Questions, comments or if you just wanna say hi!

You hadn’t meant to start a fight. Well, that was a half-truth. You had totally meant to tell that ignorant ass that he was being a homophobic dishrag. What you hadn’t meant was for him to punch you in the face, and the team to get involved in defending you from his drunk ass. So here you were, being carried over Lindsey’s shoulder back towards your hotel. 

You wiggled again in a vain attempt to get her to put you down. “Come on Linds, I can walk,”

“Yeah, you couldn’t be trusted to stand with Mal for 5 seconds on your own, and you might have a concussion,” Alex answered for the blond, and sent you a glare that oozed “try me,”

 “I don’t have a concussion, and I couldn’t let him talk to Mal like that,” You pouted up at her raised eyebrow. It was tough considering you were over someone’s shoulder, but you managed. 

“Next time you wanna show off for your girlfriend, try not to pick a fight with a guy four times your size,” Kelley laughed, patting your lower back. You frowned. Mal wasn’t your girlfriend. Yet. 

“I didn’t think he would hit me,” You grumbled, flopping down, Lindsey gripped your legs harder so she didn’t drop you on your head. That was all you guys needed right now. 

“Well he did, so let’s get you back to the hotel trouble,” Alex said, pointing towards the building down the street. Lindsey nodded, swinging you around as she turned and began to walk that way again. 

“I’m not trouble,” you complained

“No it just follows you everywhere, and has earned you no ice cream tonight,” Kelley rolled her eyes. 

“I’m not Sonnett, ice cream isn’t the love of my life,” you said, trying to act like you weren't pouting. So maybe the team treated some of the youngins like they were a little younger than their age. You all loved it, and you craved the structure it brought to your life. 

“Wanna make it for the rest of the week?” Alex asked, with her signature eyebrow arch. You grumbled back a no, along with several inaudible complaints. You knew how creative the woman could be with her punishments and you really didn’t want to test her. Your face hurt and you really just wanted to bury your head under a pillow and scream. You had protected Mal, you shouldn’t be in trouble. 

Your pout was strong all the way to the hotel and up the elevator, not wavering at all until Lindsey set you down in the corner of Alex’s room. You tilted your head at the woman in confusion. 

“This isn’t my room.”

“No, it’s not. You get 10 minutes in the corner for putting yourself in danger,” Alex said, her arms crossed across her chest. 

“I didn’t put myself in danger. I just told that dude to lay off. We were in an outdoor bar, there were plenty of people around. I thought societal convention would trap that dude into not making a scene.”

“No, you got punched in the face and almost had a beer bottle smashed over your head to impress a girl who already has a massive crush on you,” Alex exclaimed. 

“She does?” You asked, eyes wide. 

“Not the point Y/n,” Kelley shook her head. 

“The fact is, you engaged with a drunk homophobe on your own. There are times to engage, and that was not one of them. Now sit!” Alex said, dragging a chair to the corner and pointing at it, “your time out starts now.”

You sat down wordlessly, staring down at your hands. You knew that there was no getting out of this one. One of them had a scrape on the palm from where you had landed on the gravel. 

The minutes seemed to drag by, and you fidgeted more and more with every passing second, picking at the cuts on your hands. 

There was a knock on the door. “Stay,” Alex commanded, looking at her watch, “you still have two minutes left.” Behind you, you heard someone go to the door and open it. 

“I got your text,” Becky’s voice came from the doorway. You slouched in your chair, partially from embarrassment, partially from relief. They hadn’t called the medics. And at least they hadn’t called Carli, she duct-taped an ice pack to you the last time you got a bruise. But still, you hated that more people would know that you had gotten yourself into trouble again. “I brought a first aid kit and an ice pack. Also some duct tape, in case she tries to escape.”

 You shook your head, not finding the comment funny. You weren’t going to try and escape, your face was throbbing by this point, and you would rather they took care of you then leave you to fend off Jill and Dawn by yourself.

Alex’s watch beeped three times, signaling the end to your time out. You sighed in relief. Sitting still was never your strongest suit. 

“Come sit on the bed, Y/N,” Becky said, pulling Lindsey’s comforter straight and opening up the first aid kit on one side of it. You blinked twice, staring at the spot. You never liked getting fixed by the medics, and Lindsey’s bed looked lonely. 

“Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven.” You looked at Lindsey in confusion, as she started counting. “Three. Two One. That’s it.” Lindsey picked you up and sat down with you on the bed, situating you in her lap. 

You started to move and realized she had grabbed your hands and pulled them across your chest, essentially putting you in a human straightjacket. 

“Sit still and let Broon make sure you are alright you absolute badger of a human being. You are a great defender, on and off the field Y/n. But it won’t kill you to let someone else take care of you for once.”

You huffed and sunk down in Lindsey’s lap, finally stopping your struggle to get free. It was going to happen whether you wanted it to or not. 

Becky shined a flashlight in your eyes and wiped down a cut on your lip with an antiseptic wipe. You winced slightly. 

“Hand.” 

Lindsey let go of one of your arms so you could put your scraped palm into Becky’s outstretched hand. She wiped it down with gentle strokes, checking to make sure there wasn’t any gravel pieces still in it. 

She nodded at Lindsey who released you and pushed you lightly next to her on the bed. Becky stood up from her crouch, slapping her hands on her jeans as she did. She went over to the dresser where she had set a small bag of ice and brought it over to you as Kelley sat down on the other side of you. 

Alex picked up the chair you had spent your time out in and placed it in front of you, straddling the back of the chair and leaning on it’s back as she looked at you. “Do you understand why we’re upset with you Y/n?” While she spoke, Becky perched on the bed and folded her hands in her lap. 

“Yes, but I wasn’t going to let him hurt Mal,” You mumbled, playing with your fingers. Yes you had been reckless, and probably could have ended up in way worse shape, but you weren’t going to let him disrespect the two of you like that. Her like that. 

“Love, we are so proud of you for standing up like that. You shouldn’t have to deal with hatred from strangers for being who you are,” Becky started softly. 

 “But you are going to have to deal with a lot of it in your life. And we need you to promise you won’t confront someone like that alone.” Alex finished seriously. They would never be able to get the image of little you standing toe to toe with a 6-foot tall man out of their heads. 

“There’s a reason we’re called a team. We work together, back each other up. And strength in numbers is usually more convincing to the average asshole bully than a lone ranger. Let us defend you sometimes.” Kelley chimed in, nudging you with her elbow.

“And if you’re alone, walk away. It sucks, but it’s better to live another day than die on your sword. You can't win every battle, and the world is a much better place with you in it,” Lindsey said, squeezing you in a sideways hug.  

“Fine, I won’t provoke any more dishrags,” you said, in mock exasperation. 

Kelley snorted, and you saw Alex’s lips twitch slightly as she nodded, “Good.” You would always be their troublemaker, but at least they knew you would try. Even if it was only for a little while. 

You snuggled deeper into Lindsey and Kelley, smiling as Alex joined Kelley’s side. The room was quiet for a few minutes before you blurt out a sleepy “Do you think Mal will think I’m more badass now that I have a scar?” 

Becky laughed, standing to pack away her first aid things. “Oh yes, the most badass. Now if you’ll excuse me cuddle bug, I should get back to my room. I have my own troublemaker to attend to.” She walked to the doorway and paused turning back to you. “One more thing. Y/n? You have to spend the night in here for observation. Doctor’s orders.”

“Those are agreeable terms I guess,” You shrugged. That had been your plan anyway. 

“My cuddles are better than just agreeable,” Kelley huffed, bumping your cheek with her nose. 

“Of course they are squirrel,” Alex laughed, kissing her temple. 

Yes, you were a troublemaker, but you were their troublemaker. 

[thevindicativevordan]

With all these posts about pretty much everyone and everything that shaped shaped the man that is Clark Kent, Kal-El, and Superman into who he is today, I thought it only fitting to ask about the individuals that at the very least influenced Lois Lane into becoming the woman she is now, Perry White was already talked about, so what are your thoughts and takes on her dad, Samuel Lane, her younger sister, Lucy Lane, and maybe her most commonly depicted to be deceased mom, Elinore Lane?

Was thinking of doing a post like this after the recent Superman & Lois announcement that Lucy would be joining the cast. Yeah I've got some thoughts on the Lanes.

General Sam Lane

Should come as no surprise given my love of Hulk that I am totally on board with Sam being a foe for Superman (at least for a good chunk of his career). Additionally there's the numerous portrayals of Superman as a government stooge to consider, having Supes and the military fight or at least butt heads can only be a good thing for Superman's public image. Way Johns revamped him in his Action run is pretty much the template for how I see Lois' dad. Sam doesn't trust Superman, or superheroes in general, and is stockpiling weapons and training soldiers for the inevitable showdown between the governments and the capes he believes will occur one day. Amanda Waller shares Sam's concern about the capes, and the two of them work together closely, with Waller as Director of ARGUS greenlighting Sam's various projects aimed at creating countermeasures to superhumans. Clark doesn't like Sam, doesn't trust him, and the two have a tense truce that neither thinks can last forever. One of the fights between Clark and Lois is whether Sam should have any interaction with Jon, with Clark against it and Lois for it (a fight Lois wins in the end).

For Lois I like how Superman & Lois portrayed his relationship with her. He loves her but the two don't see eye to eye at all, and he was emotionally distant with her growing up because of the demands of his career. Gulf between the two is also a product of the desire on Sam's part for a son, which is something he's never outright said but both Lois and Lucy perceive. Instead he has two daughters, one of whom has walked a path that frequently pits her against his agenda. I interpret Lois giving Jon her dad's name for a middle name as an unspoken acknowledgement of his desire for a son by giving him a grandson at least. Jon tampers down the ill-will between the two for a while, neither is sure if it's a permanent peace or just a temporary lull, but I like the idea of Jon and Sam being close.

Lucy Lane

Only time I've ever cared about Lucy is when she was reconfigured during the Johns/Busiek era as the "good" daughter, who followed in her father's footsteps while Lois scandalized the family by becoming a mouthy liberal newswoman. Lucy should be recognizable as Lois sister: Fearless, confident, possessing a verbal bite that will tear you to shreds if you piss her off, and a temper that is unwise to provoke (something they both inherit from Sam). When Lois and Lucy get together in the same room you're never sure if they're going to hug and tease each other like loving sisters, or try rip each other's throats out with their nails. Each loves their sister, but the two are too similar to ever concede an argument they've had with the other, and different enough that they have arguments often.

My take on her would be that she went to college, flunked out, and joined the military which gave her the direction and discipline in life she needed. Lucy is a daddy's girl, not in the sense of every action she takes being meant to please Sam, but that she is the daughter who takes after Sam the most in terms of outlook on life. Unknown variables such as Superman make her wary, Lucy doesn't trust power like Superman's in the hands of "superheroes" who operate with no accountability owed to the authorities. She remembers how she floundered and made mistakes while she was on her own in college, and is fearful of the damage mistakes made by unsupervised metahumans could inflict. Recognizing that Lucy shares some of his viewpoints, her father brings her into ARGUS under his command where Lucy excels running Checkmate. Checkmate is the ARGUS sub-group responsible for monitoring the superhero community, and preparing for worst case scenarios should the heroes fail or become threats to the world.

Key difference between Lucy and Lois is that Lois critiques and investigates those in power, while Lucy seeks to attain a position of power herself. Lois believes it's her job to hold those with power accountable while Lucy believes it's her job to make sure power is put in the hands of someone who can be trusted to wield it competently: namely herself. I'd have Lucy use Lois to her own benefit, leaking stories of corruption or incompetence to her sister that cause anyone blocking her rise through the ranks to get removed after Lois writes articles blasting them. At first Lois wouldn't know who her informant is, but once she finds out and realizes how Lucy is using her, that is the point where the formerly close bond between the sisters is sundered. Lois doesn't trust Lucy after that and Lucy thinks Lois is a naïve idiot.

Lucy has been involved romantically with Jimmy Olsen since Pre-Crisis and in Post Crisis she married Ron Troupe. While I enjoy the Jimmy Olsen romance I don't think it works for a Lucy who is a member of the military/espionage agencies like I prefer, and Troupe marrying Lucy just doesn't interest me. I'm going to propose a new romance: John Henry Irons. Yeah I know I wrote a bunch of posts about how great the Irons/Lana relationship is, and I still stand by those. Hearing Lucy would be joining the S&L cast got the cogs in my brain turning. Given the relationship that version of Irons has with the Lanes, I'm thinking there's a chance he and Lucy get hitched together. Personally I love the idea, Irons potentially becoming Clark's actual brother-in-law is an idea that just won't leave me alone now that it's appeared in my head. Irons having a relationship with his own Lane sister is just too enticing a prospect to ignore for me given how much I like him.

Earth 0 Irons and Lucy could also have a version of that relationship. Were I to get a chance to craft a relationship between the two, I would have Irons and Lucy be exes that first got together back in Irons weapon making days. She was a military liaison tasked with handling him, he was a young hotshot engineer. Two of them had grand ambitions for their careers and connected with each other. Relationship ended when Irons got an attack of conscience over the nature of his work, that pushed him to destroy his work and flee. Lucy is pissed he bailed on her when they were both set to achieve their ambitions, especially given she was forced to salvage what she could of his work in order to save her own career. Time passes and Irons becomes Steel, with Lucy taking note. She reaches out to Irons and wants to work with him. Irons is wary, he doesn't see why Lucy would want to cooperate with him after how he ended things. He's drawn in by Lucy offering to destroy the last of the weapons he built, which ARGUS still holds in storage, if he works with her to solve a problem she needs help with. Nature of the problem, and the buried relationship between the two of them that slowly seems to be rekindling over the course of their partnership, ultimately would resolve in the two getting together and Lucy adjusting her views on capes.

Elinore/Ella Lane

You called her Elinore, apparently most recent canon has her as Ella which illustrates a core problem when it comes to her: she's not given any major importance in Lois' life. Not even her name is well-defined, she's just "Lois' mom who died of vague causes". Ella seems to have been a good mom who died too soon and her death only made the relationship between Sam and his daughters worse. Lois loves her mom and was close to her, but Ella dying when Lois was still a young girl means I don't think Lois would have too many memories of her. I would like to maybe see Lois think back on her time with her mom when she needs guidance on how to raise Jon, using her mom as the template for how Lois navigates her own motherhood journey. Otherwise I don't have any deep insights into her, she's a good mom who held the Lanes together, and when she died the heart of the family went with her.

[lessonsfrommadamexmas]

EREN JAEGER AND THE ENNEAGRAM TYPE 6

First of all, to my followers, please excuse me. This account isn’t for SNK but it’s the one I have and I wanted to write this. 

Secondly, I hope this post finds the fandom lol. But if you’re expecting this to be another meta to judge Eren’s actions, don’t waste your time. The enneagram is a tool of understanding, not judgement, and I just wanted to share one thing I appreciate immensely about Eren’s characterization.

Well, why don’t we start with chapter 137? There, Zeke states that life’s purpose is to propagate and it’s core fear is to be extinguished. In other words, from the moment we are born, our organisms need to survive. As humans, we are on our own: suddenly, you gotta breathe on your own; the food is no longer provided. Everything is scary. A baby cries because everything is hard and far away and something in their biology tells them to keep fighting to survive. 

Now, onto a more spiritual approach. In El Eneagrama de la Sociedad, Claudio Naranjo says that several cultures have their own ideas and tales regarding a disconnection from a primordial state of wholeness. Once born, we become individuals and are separated from the Universe, as if we’re no longer in sync, and something is lost in the process. How can we survive? Our defense mechanisms start with that question. We need love, we need resources and we need to stand our ground in this cruel, but beautiful world. This, on the enneagram, is called “childhood trauma”. 

What I want to do in this post is to break down Eren’s character development through the lens of the enneagram, but for that, I need to give you an overview of the system. It is cruel and beautiful, just like the SNK world. It sees us with care and understanding but it also exposes the harsh truths we don’t want to see. 

The enneagram, first and foremost, is an ancient symbol, a figure of nine points connected within a circle. There’s a lot of fascinating history to it, but I’m gonna focus on what matters to this post. The enneagram is a personality system that encompasses nine essences of the Universe, and once our childhood trauma sinks in, we attach to one type which defines our worldview. Here’s how each enneatype manifests itself:

Type 1, the reformer: this person seeks to not make mistakes. They are principled and meticulous in everything they do but highly critical of themselves and others. 

Type 2, the helper: this person seeks to be needed. They are proud of their independence and helpfulness but believe they can only receive love if they give first. 

Type 3, the achiever: this person seeks to be worthy. They are motivated and ambitious but shape themselves around what is expected of them. 

Type 4, the individualist: this person seeks to build their identity. They are sensitive and creative but reject the ordinary and focus on what is harder to reach. 

Type 5, the investigator: this person seeks to be a specialist. They are perceptive and curious but withhold themselves and their resources and worry they’re never prepared. 

Type 6, the loyalist: we’ll talk about it in a moment.  

Type 7, the enthusiast: this person seeks to avoid pain. They are joyful and spontaneous but afraid of facing hardships and being swallowed by negativity and sadness. 

Type 8, the leader: this person seeks to be strong. They are fierce and protective but don’t allow themselves any vulnerability and need to be on top. 

Type 9, the peacemaker: this person seeks to be in peace. They’re kind and their inner stability is unshakable, but have a hard time asserting themselves.

So what does it mean to be a type 6?

Some of you might not believe if I told you that Eren is moved by fear. But that’s what it is. The type 6 represents fear itself. It’s our search for safety and support. The person who is a type 6 has disconnected from their inner guide and they don’t believe they have the same capability to make decisions as everyone else. That is more of an unconscious state, which manifests through an overly alert stance. Sixes are always on the lookout for threats and danger, their minds work predicting things that can go wrong, so they can be prepared. In other words, the type 6 fears how imprevisible life is, because they truly don’t find in themselves the compass to the answers they need “in this very moment”. They have to be one step ahead and they have to find outside structures for support, people in whom to trust and who’ll give them the guidelines and sense of balance. Fellowship and loyalty are essential to the type 6 as they look for reassurance in their concerns. 

In Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery (1996), Don Richard Riso has described nine levels of development for the enneatypes. They are the path from our healthy, healed state where we’re closer to wholeness again (Level 1) down to our most broken state where we’ve abandoned ourselves (Level 9). 

When we start Attack on Titan, Eren is on Level 6. Here’s what Riso says:

“In its innocent forms, counterphobia is well employed by people to master their fears — for example, children who are afraid of the dark might purposefully go to a dark room to overcome their fear.”

Eren, too, wanted to overcome his fear since he was a kid. He wanted to go outside and face those faceless titans. He wanted people around him to be prepared, but since the Garrison was incompetent and lazy, he needed to be prepared. Grisha seems to be Eren’s first authority figure. From what we know, Grisha allowed Eren to have his own thoughts and didn’t impose anything on him, which is a kind of reassurance. Thus, with his father, Eren felt more understood. 

Carla, on the other hand, wished for Eren’s immediate safety and cared about him living a quiet life. But that also means she couldn’t understand his concerns, and the type 6 interprets that demeanor as vulnerability — his mother is more exposed to the threat. If the type 6 is a room where nobody is vigilant, the only option they see is to step up and become hypervigilant.

This relation to an authority is very specific for the type 6 as they search for people and systems in whom to rely on. Since the Garrison aren’t the most reliable soldiers around, Eren turns to the Survey Corps. That section of the military consists of the rebels, those who want to explore the unknown, understand the titans and figure out the best way to fight the enemy. The SC wants to be free, so they become Eren’s next “authority figure”. 

Riso also says that the type 6 in Level 6 has a more aggressive stance and wants to prove to others that he isn’t indecisive and can’t be pushed around. 

“They blame and berate whatever threatens them. They become rebellious… and are desperate to latch onto a position or stance that will make them feel stronger and dispel their feelings of inferiority.”

The type 6 feels inferior because they feel lost inside. Eren, too, knows that the threat lurking behind those walls is much bigger than him and a single human doesn’t stand a chance. And he berates people around him for not seeing what he sees, or for disrespecting his “heroes”.

Eren will be back to Level 6 later, embodying other aspects of it, but let’s talk about the moment he joins the army. 

At this point, Eren reaches the stable position he has been eager for. He is part of a group and working towards his goals, he feels more confident because he’s preparing for the next attack. He has climbed to Level 4:

“The security which groups and institutions provide far exceeds the strength of any individual members...”

As we know, Eren sees his mission to eradicate all titans also as a social responsibility. The type 6 can easily fall into “us versus them” mentality where they are putting effort into something and will trust only the people who understand the importance of it. Eren’s bickering with Jean, as well as his admiration for Reiner starts from there. 

“And even within their own group, average Sixes make it their business to find out who is pulling the weight and who is not... If others are not loyal or committed, it not only makes them angry, it threatens them.”

Eren talks over and over about how he’s going to join the suicide squad, to the point people start making fun of him. But he is testing everyone’s commitment to the cause of “fighting titans” and he finds people like Jean, who only really want their safe life, as well as Reiner, who is dedicated and understands him immediately. Reiner becomes his new “authority figure”: whenever Eren’s failing, Reiner is there to understand him, to offer help and to remind him of why he’s there.

“The loyalty of average Sixes for the people with whom they have identified is almost without bounds. They find it extremely difficult to break their emotional bonds, even should they desire to do so… Their love may, in time, turn to hatred but never to indifference.”

That one speaks for itself. It’s exactly how Eren felt upon RBA’s betrayal. He’s in total denial about Annie, while for Reiner/Berthold all he has left is rage. 

Choosing who to trust is part of the type 6 identity. All of their beliefs, all their inner world is shaken if they are betrayed, because the network they build is how they find a safe space for themselves in the world and how they orient themselves. Annie was Eren’s parameter of fighter, Reiner was Eren’s parameter of leadership. The first backstab is too hard for him to process, we see it all unfold. He can’t admit she’s a traitor, and he doesn’t even have the will to transform and fight her. 

The second one, however, is embraced somewhat faster and he’s even able to contain himself and play along. But it doesn’t change how deeply it affected him and how vengeful he gets. Years later, that hatred would dissipate, but never to indifference — Eren still feels a need for some closure between them. 

I got ahead of myself on the timeline, so I’m going to rewind to the moment Eren joins the Survey Corps, which is his childhood dream. Erwin is his main authority figure now and you see that, even though Erwin locked him up, he trusts the guy. As Don Riso explains, the type 6 on Level 4 plays by the rules of his group because he strongly believes in those rules and they bring comfort to their minds. In reality, the SC doesn’t really know what they’re doing. Erwin himself doesn’t know how he’s gonna cross the walls and find out the truth. But Eren is devoted to them. Their cause is his cause and he knows how hard it is but what matters is they’re trying. Besides, they embrace him. They want to reach the basement and want to defend him on the court and want to investigate/use his titan power. Thus, for Eren, the SC is the most solid and welcoming place to be. He’ll do whatever they want from him. 

However, Eren was about to find out that things were far from glorious out there. Although the Survey Corps work under strict “plans” that soldiers are supposed to follow blindly, Eren can’t just watch people being sacrificed to protect him. Especially when he has enough power to act in a more significant way than those individual humans. But how much control does he have over his own power? Eren can’t answer that, and he feels immensely conflicted as soldiers continue to drop dead. 

In that moment, Levi could’ve forced him to follow his orders, and perhaps that would’ve eased his mind when he chose not to transform. But the captain is a different kind of leader than Erwin, and he challenges Eren instead:

And I really appreciate how fitting that is to the type 6 conflit. It’s very difficult for them to accept it, sometimes there simply isn’t a clear path, sometimes it is okay to trust yourself and act on your own. But this is what Eren’s thinking:

That didn’t turn out very well, did it? At the end of the expedition, Eren is forced to admit that the SC don’t have all the answers and that all his power and training can’t always keep everyone safe. He’s once again reminded of that after activating the Coordinate — not even the power to control titans can avoid sacrifices.

Ideally, the type 6 can only reach the safety they seek once they allow themselves to move in the chaos with the courage to face it step by step, instead of predicting it. This may sound easy for others but not for them, especially if they are inserted in a reality where the cost of a mistake is lives.  

So we get to the Uprising arc. It starts with the Survey Corps planning the retake of Wall Maria while they put Eren through hardening experiments. Time is not on their side and Eren’s determined to go beyond his limits during the tests. 

“They consequently try to further strengthen their ‘social security’ systems by working harder to be accepted and approved by their allies and authorities… Others wonder if they resent the workloads and pressures they seem to be under, yet Sixes seem eager to fulfill their obligations and duties...”

Eren’s entire world would fall apart again once he’s kidnapped by Rod Reiss and discovers the truth of his father’s sin. Like I said earlier, Grisha was one of Eren’s authority figures, and even though he was absent, the basement key and the promised truth kept son and father connected. Wherever Grisha was, Eren could still count on the answers he’d left behind. 

That is, until he is hit by a trainwreck of a revelation that his father killed an entire family and sacrificed himself to pass on the titans to him. Eren’s left completely lost, he no longer knows what to think of himself, of the world, of his father.

He falls from Level 4 to Level 7:

“Sixes become trapped in an unhealthy pattern of self-disparagement and massive insecurity which reinforces feelings of inferiority and worthlessness, a marked deterioration from the indecision and evasiveness we saw [before].”

This shift to a much more confused and self-loathing state doesn’t last long because Eren has his friend’s support for now. Historia chooses to see his worth and let him live. Levi once again challenges him to make his own decision, and Eren manages to save the day.

As Eren becomes aware of those destructive feelings, he tries to get rid of them by “fighting” himself, in an attempt to put himself back up.

He realizes he isn’t alone and he doesn’t have to do everything on his own, people around him are also strong enough to stand up for themselves. That helps him return to a more average stage and it could have been the beginning of his growth... 

Well, if only life wouldn’t have a surprise waiting for him at every corner. 

I hope you’re being able to follow and understand that we all have ups and downs in life. The levels of development represent exactly that, so it is common to find yourself in the same stage in different periods of your life. Nevertheless, after Eren learns the truth about the world and sees his future memories, it all goes downhill for him, no turning back anymore.  

Here is what Riso comments on the ambivalence of the type 6 on Level 5:

“Sixes begin to follow the narrow path between the expectations of their allies and authorities and their need to resist having any further demands placed on them.”

Eren is overwhelmed by the view of the outside world. He has experienced his father’s memories first hand and it’s nothing like what he expected. No one around him has the same perspective. A lot of self-awareness and self-doubt emerge from the future memories he saw through Historia. Riso explains that on Level 5 the person starts to become more worried about how their allies feel about them. 

“They become skeptical of new views and ideas, feeling that they have already put a lot of effort into understanding the perspectives and approaches they already know.”

Eren went from “I HATE TITANS ALL TITANS ARE MY ENEMIES DESTROY ‘EM ALL” to “titans are my people and they haven’t chosen this horrible outcome”. And that’s A LOT to process when you wrapped your life around that initial idea. But things are changing even faster, and his friends are talking about how the enemy could be reached out too. This thought needs to coexist in Eren with the clear image he has of the enemy, one that only he has accessed. Add to that how Eren was kept away from the Marleyan prisoners as Paradis also feared some kind of betrayal. As long as there’s people out there against them, he can’t so easily rest. 

Who knows at what point Eren returns to Level 6. The time skip is covered very loosely. But probably when he is feeling so lost that he actually comes to Historia to vent. 

“As in other types, to be functioning in this Level or lower usually indicates that there were extremely dysfunctional elements in the child’s environment.”

Self-explanatory. It’s even hard to talk about Level 6 because it is a point where Sixes start to overthink threats that aren’t that big, but in Eren’s case, the threat is 100% REAL and there’s a world isolating them and wishing for his people to die and throwing gigantic creatures at them. No big deal at all.

Eren turns to the people who actually understand the urgency he feels. Floch is eager to follow him, while Zeke and Yelena have an actual plan. Eren says he’s acting out of his own decisions, and he sure is, but he has also left it in Zeke’s hands to set the course. At this point, it no longer is a positive thing for the type 6 to have reassurance instead of a grounding support, it’ll only leave them trapped in the current mentality. 

What would be more appropriate would be a balance between rejection…

…and full acceptance.  

(By the way, I can’t even know where Historia stands, since she let him do his thing, but I’m still using her here because of how immediate her reaction was, which could lead Eren to think he can’t risk telling anyone else. Unhealthy Sixes are just that paranoid.)

Zeke could have been Eren’s new “authority figure“ if their goals were the same. But more and more the only thing Eren is starting to rely on are the future memories.

Riso talks about how a violent environment would lead to violent actions and “they end up using the same aggressive tactics on others”. And I can draw a parallel with how Eren has been facing titans for so long and watched them take people from him, that he just feels aggression arise whenever he thinks of all the injustice he has witnessed. Same would happen later on, when he sees Ymir’s memories and finally decides to unleash this pain on the world.

“It’s hard for Sixes to work for something. Instead, their energies are galvanized by being against people and things.”

Despite being highly conflicted and problematic, Eren so far has waited. It’s too hard at this point to fully engage with those dreams, but he has watched things unfold and allowed the Survey Corps to do their stuff and try to contact the outside world. On Level 7, the type 6 is just going through the day with little hope. When the SC reaches Marley and Eren meets the boy of his memories, he can no longer escape from facing himself.

“Tearful and obsequious, they are disgusted with themselves for not having been tough enough to stand on their own two feet, to defend themselves, to be independent.”

Not only Eren, but Paradis as a whole, have been unable to be independent in a much bigger world, or this is how he sees it after Kyiomi monopolizes the resources and the pro-Eldians group rejects the island. Finally, Eren recognizes in himself the person who would be capable of trampling the kid he currently wants to save, and that leaves him disgusted.   

“They do not necessarily deceive others maliciously, but to escape punishment or abandonment. They believe they may be able to repair the damage they have caused...”

What Riso is saying here is that the type 6 feel the need to hide (themselves) so their loved ones won’t abandon them. And again, in Eren’s case, he has a damn good reason to think his loved ones might not be super happy if he said he was going to destroy the whole world. Let’s not forget they are the people who counted on him to save the world this whole time, and he is the person several people have been sacrificed for. 

All this pressure has brought him this low, but Eren reaches rock bottom when he allows himself to admit he wished for it all to be destroyed. Now, he can no longer face his family (as he would tell Falco) and he has little faith in himself. 

Again, Eren’s paranoias aren’t so far from reality because there is, indeed, a world against them, and that keeps feeding into his anxiety. Paradis’s progress is little and the future is uncertain. When the type 6 reaches Level 9, they can no longer get out of this spiral. They know it’s only a matter of time until the threat comes to them. So they call the threat upon themselves.

Eren allowed himself to go as far as understanding his enemies and accepting that they’re the same, but with the declaration of war, he can’t wait anymore.

I already told you the reason: the type 6 needs to be able to predict. That’s the very core of their beings, their minds seek to control events. Striking first is their final attempt to make sure they won’t be taken by surprise. Ultimately, they are lost and desperate to find support again. Here’s what Riso says about the type 6 on Level 9:

“They may drop out, abasing themselves as vagrants and living in skid row conditions, thus allowing their health and minds to deteriorate to the point of no return.”

It almost feels like Isayama has read this book, I swear to God. Yeah, that’s word by word what Eren does. He goes to enemy territory, injures himself and throws himself in war. Despite resisting for so long to a new perspective of his enemies, Eren allows himself to see them with his own eyes. All because he’s desperate to understand his enemy, desperate to understand himself (and what would lead to his decision) and desperate to run away from his friends. He is ashamed of choosing those future memories as his new authority figure, get it? They are the most certain thing in his life now. As much as he waited and as much as the SC tried, they don’t have any guaranteed future and it’s just too hard for the type 6, especially unhealthy Sixes, to wait. It’s impossible. 

Remember I said that Sixes want to feel understood? Well, I think Eren feels understood, to some degree, when he’s among those broken soldiers. They are relatable, more than anyone else. 

“Neurotic Sixes bring disaster of some sort upon themselves not to end their relationship with authority figures, but to reestablish a protective one. [...] It is also important to notice that neurotic Sixes are masochist not because they take pleasure in suffering as such, but because they hope their suffering will bring someone to their side who’ll save them… as if to say, ‘Punish me, because I’ve been bad. Then you can love me again.’”

In the mind of the unhealthy type 6, if he can’t find the answers, he can’t be there for his allies. If he fails his allies, he doesn’t deserve their support. But even when he feels he doesn’t deserve it and feels they won’t forgive him, he desperately needs it — the type 6 doesn’t know how to live without support. He is completely aware of his cowardice, he may unleash his despair in innocent people, he seeks punishment for his behavior and hopes for someone to end his pain.

“Unhealthy Sixes are self-defeating persons who are their worst enemies. If they persist in their masochist behavior, neurotic Sixes will drive away everyone on whom they depend. They will be abandoned and alone, the very things they most fear.”

Eren pushed everyone away, but deep down he waited for them to come to his rescue. He knew he was a lost cause, but still couldn’t let go of what he saw as a compromise, a duty to them. His completely cruel and extreme actions are, in enneagram terms, his way to not leave his allies adrift. But aren’t all his actions for his own freedom? I don’t think so, not entirely. There’s a reason the type 6 has been named “the loyalist” — they always, always see themselves as part of a group. And in the end, he saw himself in Ymir, someone who was trapped and waiting to be rescued, understood. Don Riso says the worst part of coming this low is how much Sixes hurt others while they hurt themselves, both because they want to harm everyone who doesn’t understand and to show people the worst in themselves; they want to punish and be punished at same the time.

That is what I wanted to break down — Eren’s inner process. Yes, the type 6 is an ambivalent, contradicting personality type, precisely because that’s how they feel inside. Other enneagram types don’t escape from their own personal conflicts, that’s also important to point out. The enneagram does not define integrity, people capable of causing great harm exist in all types and no one from type 6 is fated to destroying the world — just in case that isn’t obvious. 

This post is heavy, I know. One of the things I love about SNK are the emotions it evokes and how human characters are. I’m so thankful to have followed Eren’s fascinating journey. He has never hit me as a one-dimensional character as some people claim. To me, Eren is not a chad, he’s not a monster, either. He’s just human. 

I’m thankful for this fandom as well. We’re a total mess but the monthly wait would’ve killed me without the crazy theories and the heated discussions.  

[myhoneststudyblr]

i received an ask from @sunset-study asking me how to annotate texts so i thought i would do a post giving some of my tips! as an English literature student, i spend a lot of my time doing annotations on loads of different types of texts so i think i have some good advice that i can give. i hope that you will find this helpful and if you have any other questions, please feel free to send me an ask!

disclaimer: these are my personal tips and experiences and i’m sure that there are many more that are relevant. i have tried to do a little bit of research to get some other ideas which hopefully will make this a useful post but as always i appreciate others adding their opinions and advice in the comments!

[Estimated Reading Time: 7 minutes]

What is covered:

General Tips

Things to look for

Specific Tips for Annotating Novels

Specific Tips for Annotating Plays

Specific Tips for Annotating Poetry

Other resources

General Tips

don't just highlight. this is very passive and often you will not really be taking in what is important. 

pencils are great for annotating. if you are anything like me, when you are annotating, you often are doing it as the thoughts come into your mind so a pencil allows you some leeway to erase and refine ideas. also when you are writing in a book, i personally do not have enough confidence to write in pen.

don’t annotate extensively the first time you read. often on a first read, you don't see the recurring imagery or features because you don't have the whole context so don't annotate deeply the first time you read something. that said, it can often be good to jot some questions in the margins that you have because these can be useful to remind you of your thoughts when you reread. 

think of some symbols to indicate important or interesting parts. for example, if it is a dramatic section, i will box it off and put a big exclamation mark. or if something is confusing or unclear, use a question mark. i tend to put a star for a section that is important. you could think of symbols for humour, foreshadowing, particular themes or characters etc.

actually respond to the text. this seems like an obvious one but a lot of the time, because we are taught in schools all these fancy techniques, when we see one of them in a text we just highlight them and note that its a metaphor or simile or foreshadowing. what you should try to do is explain - briefly - why that is important and its effect. also if you have any personal reaction to it, note that down as well because this can be really helpful when writing essays because it shows that you’ve actually engaged with the text. 

practice, practice, practice. annotation is a skill and honestly it can be quite difficult because you need to often read between the lines and summarise, while also analysing. so take some time to focus on this skill and create your own method and shorthand.

Things to look for:

structure. are the paragraphs long? is sentence varied or does it remain quite consistent? are there any repeated words or phrases? what is the overall shape of the text? where does the narrative start? does the focus shift anywhere? 

language. what are the literary devices used in the text? if so, what is their effect? has the author used a particular semantic field? are there any usual words? are there repeated words? are there any individual words that stand out to you? what are the connotations of these words? are there any words that you don’t know? if so, what do they mean? is there any unusual syntax? 

characterisation and voice. who is speaking in the text? if it is third person, how ‘close’ or ‘distant’ are we to the character? can we trust the character? are they an unreliable narrator? what are their key features? do any of these features link to key themes? if so, where is that shown in the text? is the author using a particular voice in order to get a specific reaction?

themes. what themes is the author exploring? where does the author explore these themes? are particular opinions (either by a character or perhaps the implied opinion of the author) expressed on the themes? are there any words or phrases that link closely to this theme?

Specific Tips for Annotating Novels

SUMMARISE REGULARLY

a novel is often long and there is a lot of stuff to cover throughout it so it is really important to keep making sure that you understand what is going on. summarising will also help you when revising.

for example, after each chapter quickly summarise the key points in a few sentences - which characters were important, did the plot move forward in any important ways, what themes were explored.

you could either do this on a post it note or if you have space on the last page of the chapter. make sure that it is not too long. a few sentences is absolutely fine.

KEEP A LIST OF CHARACTERS 

characters are obviously very important in a novel so make sure you know who’s who and where they come into the book. you could write the list of characters or a little character map on the inside cover of the book, which you can refer to if necessary.

COLOUR CODE

i personally don't colour code that often when annotating. i usually only do it in important scenes and moments where there is a lot going on and things can get very confusing. that said, colour coding can be particularly useful to keep track of themes in the novel.

there are many different ways that you can do this. for example you could have a particular highlighter colour for each theme. you could also put coloured sticky tabs on the page so you can quickly find the themes throughout the novel. 

Specific Tips for Annotating Plays

This is mostly the same for novels so take all of the tips above and apply them to the play you are studying with two main - VERY IMPORTANT - additions:

NOTE THE DRAMATIC FUNCTION

a play is written to be performed and this has a huge impact on the text, because it can affect how we interpret a particular character, theme or scene. 

so it is SO SO important that you remember that it is being performed and think about the different ways that it could be acted and how the audience could respond to it. 

on that note, remember that every performance, actor and audience is different so try to think of ALL the ways it could be played and how our interpretation could differ

PAY ATTENTION TO STAGE DIRECTIONS

this is a related point to the one above. my GCSE English teacher used to go on about this all. the. time. because it is so easy to overlook them and not consider them a real part of the text. BUT they are such a key part because they can give hints to performance as well as the atmosphere which might otherwise be difficult to discern just by reading the dialogue. they can also be good ways to demonstrate character traits

Specific Tips for Annotating Poetry

NOTE GENERAL FEATURES (STRUCTURE, RHYMING, METER, CONTEXT, THEMES, ETC.) SOMEWHERE SEPARATE 

poems are obviously much shorter than plays and novels so they are often packed full of interesting language points to annotate. therefore if you try to add in all of this other stuff in your annotations using arrows, it is likely that it is going to get very full and confusing. 

therefore, i would suggest only directly annotating language features for the poem and writing your notes on the more general features of the poem elsewhere - for example on a post-it note, or if there is a bunch of white-space under the poem. then it is easy to find and refer to but won't mix with your annotations and make it confusing so that you feel that you need to rewrite more notes on the whole poem 

if there is a particular word or phrase that is important for the above features (for example, links significantly with the context or has unusual - and therefore probably significant - meter) you can notes this on the text using arrows but keep it specific and short. you can expand on it in more depth in your general notes

IDENTIFY THE TONE AND MOOD OF THE POEM

this is good to identify because it can help you focus on the language that is important and helps you to interpret the meaning. 

THINK ABOUT THE SOUND OF THE POEM

poems are usually meant to be lyrical and rhythmic in some way and read aloud. so think about how these words sound when you read it (are they harsh or soft) and consider the rhythm that the poet creates through punctuation. it could be helpful to consider a poem like the lyrics of a song and imagine what it would sound like if it were set to music 

rhyming is an important part of this and you could note - just for your own reference - the rhyme scheme (if there is one) using letters at the end of the line. but again, referring back to tip one of this section, talk about the rhyme scheme in greater depth elsewhere so as not to clutter your notes 

Other Resources

there are so many resources that you can find on the internet about annotation but here are just a couple that i thought were useful:

Annotation Guide Produced for AP Language Students

BBC Bitesize GCSE Revision Page on Annotating Texts

General How to Annotate Guide (Note: this is not just for literature but also for textbooks but has some great tips)

Annotating Poetry Guide

[notveryglittery]

birthday prince (3)

summary: virgil decides roman deserves a day off.  words: 2,100 / ship: prinxiety (roman/virgil) author’s note: this is part three of my Giving The Gay Anything He Wants series for roman’s birthday (june 4)! all ships are written implied romantic but i’m not stopping you from interpreting it otherwise. check the end notes on ao3 for credit on these gifts (bc i don’t know where to put them in this post)! i hope you enjoy!!

part 1 (roceit) | part 2 (logince) | part 3 (prinxiety) part 4 (royality) | part 5 (dlampts)  read on ao3

— — —

“Best two out of three.”

“I thought this was a birthday gift!”

“Yes and?”

“So why don’t I automatically get to pick the first movie?”

“Because I know you’re on a princess kick and full offense, if I have to deal with a talking animal as the comedic relief sidekick, I might actually die.”

“... Okay. Fine, okay, that’s fair.”

“On shoot.”

One, two, three, shoot — Virgil’s scissors versus Roman’s paper meant that the birthday boy did, in fact, not get to pick the first movie. He feigned upset for only a few moments longer before flopping back into their pillow fort. He supposed, given all the hard work Virgil had put into this, he could put up with one non-princess Disney film.

Earlier in the day, Virgil had rather unceremoniously kicked Roman out of his own room, claiming he had something important to do. Were it not for how close they’d grown, Roman would have been upset and suspicious; he trusted Virgil now, though, and knew that nothing would go wrong. He’d spent an hour playing cards with Logan and Patton before Virgil shouted for him from upstairs. When he’d arrived back to his room, it looked almost unrecognizable. It was mostly illuminated by fairy lights, providing a cozier feel than what he was used to; the floor to ceiling windows looked out into a rainy forest instead of the usual rolling hills; his bed had been turned into a truly impressive collection of blankets, pillows, cushions, and stuffed animals. The canopy had been removed which bothered him a little but only until he realized the projector that had been set up, pointing at the ceiling. There was a basket at the foot of the bed, filled with snacks and bottled drinks. Roman figured they could stay here for the next twenty four hours and be perfectly fine.

Surrounded by what was possibly every soft thing to be found in the Mindscape, Roman clutched Mrs. Fluffybottom to his chest as Virgil got the movie set up. She’d been his favorite plushie for the entirety of his existence; he’d taken her on many adventures over the years but she’d comforted him through a number of breakdowns too. He swore there was actually something magical about her.

Virgil threw himself down next to Roman; he had swapped out his usual hoodie for one that was fully dark purple and had even longer sleeves. After Roman had stopped gawking around his room, Virgil had tossed a sweater at him. It was so bright it was practically neon but it was rainbow print and he loved it. He’d immediately changed out of his t-shirt and had grabbed Virgil in a tight hug. Roman definitely intended on starting a sweater paw fight at some point during their movie marathon.

“You good with Hercules?”

“No comedic relief sidekicks, huh?”

“Phil is not a sidekick!”

“What? Are you trying to tell me right now that Philoctetes is a main character? You can’t say he isn’t comedic relief! He gets hurt just for laughs way too often!”

“No! I mean. Maybe?”

Roman laughed, bumping his shoulder against Virgil’s. “Whatever, you dork. Of course I’m good with it. You could have picked The Black Cauldron and I would’ve been good.”

“Talking animal. Comic relief. Sidekick. Gurgi checks all of those boxes. I would’ve been going against my own word.”

“Hmm, fair,” Roman said, humming a little.

As the Muses began singing them through the opening, Roman took a moment to appreciate everything Virgil was doing for him. The basket of goodies was stocked with every one of Roman’s favorite snacks, including enough chocolate to make him sick. In fact, it’d been the first thing he’d decided on, before Virgil could even tell him what the plan for the day was. Not that it was really much of a plan, anyway. Today specifically had been set aside just for Virgil to spoil Roman however he wanted. That apparently meant marathoning Disney movies, napping as much as they pleased, and eating all the junk food they wanted. It was a far cry from how Roman usually spent his time; what with all of the projects he was constantly juggling, or the content he had to help Thomas produce, or the issues to take care of in the Fantasy Realm. He didn’t really realize even how hard he was always working.

Apparently, however, Virgil had.

Something was shoved into his face, startling him out of his thoughts. He shot a glare at Virgil, who was watching the movie and acting totally inconspicuous. The item turned out to be a stuffed dragon, one he didn’t recognize from his usual pile of plushies. The scales were shimmery, a nice ombre of purple and blue shades, the wings were tucked against the body, and… Holding his hand against the stomach was warmer than the rest, as if it had a belly full of fire. That was so cool! He squeezed it tight in his arms and went back to watching the movie, feeling even comfier than before.

With the credits rolling, Virgil ushered them both out of bed and into a couple minutes of stretching.

“I’m not having you complain to me later on when your bones start creaking.”

“You make it sound like I’m so old, Virgil!”

“Older than me,” Virgil teased. He ducked out of the way of a thrown cushion. “Oh, is that what we’re doing?!”

Roman took a face full of pillow and suddenly it was on. He couldn’t begin to guess how long they fought for, darting around the room and over the bed, swinging their feather-filled weapons at each other. He did know that by the time he collapsed on the floor, he was breathless with laughter. Virgil was so far gone that he’d dissolved into alternating between wheezes and complete silence. Eventually, they did manage to get back into their nest of blankets, though there was plenty of shoving, poking, and tickling as they did so.

“I dunno if I’ll make it through this next movie so pick one that I won’t mind falling asleep during.”

“You besmirch the name of Disney if you think there’s a single film boring enough to allow that!”

“You dozed off the first time we watched The Good Dinosaur.”

Roman spluttered. “I had just come back from a week-long quest! And that���s Pixar!”

Virgil actually cackled. “You can’t pull that excuse! Disney owns Pixar!”

“Stop bullying me,” Roman cried, “it’s my birthday!”

“It’s two days before your birthday, actually, so I can bully you all I like.”

“I’m picking The Black Cauldron, then! See how you like dozing off during your favorite movie.”

It perhaps hadn’t been his best choice. With Virgil snuggled into his side, warm and soft, the sound of his even breathing accompanying the utter lack of any songs… Well, Roman really didn’t last much longer. They found each other in the Dreamscape. Edges were fuzzy, sounds were muffled, and touch was electric. The Dream Palace was a blurry shape in the distance, attracting his attention every so often when its crystal spires caught the light. Virgil sort of just appeared, as if created from the colors of the setting sun. Roman had a feeling he was made of the field of flowers he’d woken up in.

“I like it here,” Virgil said, sitting down next to Roman.

“Remy does a nice job with it,” Roman agreed, slowly picking daisies and dandelions to weave into a crown.

“You do, too,” Virgil argued. “You have a hand in almost everything, you know.”

Roman frowned at him. “I do not.”

“Yes, Ro,” Virgil insisted, “you do. The Memory Archives look the way that they do because you and Logan watched one episode of Doctor Who together and had the inspiration to redesign.”

Roman chuckled, a little nervously. “I guess.”

“Memory Lane doesn’t hurt Patton because it knows better than to hurt anyone you love. It might be connected to him and his room, but you’re the one that created that safety net.”

“Virgil…” Roman tried, voice slightly strangled.

“I just need you to know how important you are. You aren’t told enough.”

“It’s fine—”

“You’re important, Roman. You matter. You make a difference.”

Roman finally stopped trying to tie together the stems of the flowers. Virgil took his shaking hands into his own and held them tightly. It was just enough that Roman could actually feel it versus the tingly sensation that the Dreamscape normally worked with.

“We love you. We appreciate you and your hard work.”

If it weren’t for that everything around them was already blurry, Roman might not have noticed his vision swimming when tears filled his eyes. It was hard to not know suddenly that he was crying, though, regardless of how physically present he was in this space.

Virgil let go of his hands and instead, cradled his face gently. “I know I go against you sometimes but in the long run, I want you to be just as happy as you make the rest of us.”

He waited a moment longer before smiling and squishing Roman’s cheeks. Roman giggled a bit in response. Virgil gave him two careful pats before pulling away. Picking up the flower crown Roman had abandoned, he set to work on finishing it. Roman wiped his tears away and sat still in the sunshine, content to simply let himself soak it up until he was completely warm from the inside out.

When they woke, the screen projected onto the ceiling was displaying a screensaver of 3D pipes. The forest outside the windows had been replaced with a cliffside view of the ocean. Virgil stirred next to him, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He absentmindedly pressed a kiss to Roman’s cheek before getting out of bed. He was gone for a little while, during which Roman found two more plushies that he didn’t recognize. They were a gryphon and a lion, both extremely soft to the touch, and with fierce expressions that reminded Roman of how Virgil looked when he was in fight mode. He wondered how these new stuffed animals kept sneaking into his collection but he certainly wasn’t complaining.

When Virgil returned, Roman burst into laughter, because yes, he supposed there was no chance of sneaking that one into the pile.

“There won’t be any room for me in bed, Virgil!”

“Guess you better get used to sleeping on the floor then,” Virgil said, dropping the massive Simba plushie on top of Roman.

This just made Roman laugh harder. The fabric on this one was fluffier than on the others, something he could sink his fingers into if he wanted. It was nearly as big as him, or maybe it just felt like that right now since it was smothering him. Before he could move it, though, Virgil sank himself down onto it as well.

“Virgil!!” Roman gasped between snickers. “Get off, you fiend!”

“Hmm…” Virgil hummed, pondering. From where he was laying, he could just barely look directly into Roman’s eyes. This made it all the funnier when he finally decided, in the most deadpan tone, “nah.”

After some wrestling, which led to them both falling out of bed and Roman bumping his elbow and howling for five minutes about his funny bone before Virgil kissed it better, they were finally settled back in to continue their movie marathon.

They watched Moana, Tarzan, and, Mary Poppins before sleep began to take them once more. Seeing as the sun had sunk below the sea quite some time ago, it was safe to assume it was late enough to call it a night.

“I got you…” Virgil paused to yawn. “Got you one more thing…”

“Vee—”

“‘S not much.” He held out Mrs. Fluffybottom for Roman to take. “I just… I made it so that she can never be hurt.”

For a moment, Roman’s lethargy was chased away by astonishment and surprise. He could feel the enchantment just from holding her, though it was passing by the second as the magic was fully absorbed.

“I know you… take her on adventures a lot. Fightin’ bad guys ‘n stuff.” Virgil shifted further into the blankets as sleep continued to take hold on him. “Wanna keep her safe. Know you will, anyway. But jus’ in case.”

Roman rolled onto his side so that he was facing Virgil. He kept the bunny plush tucked between them and took one of Virgil’s hands in his. “Thank you…”

“Love you. Happy birthday, princey,” Virgil told him, papping him once more on the cheek.

Sleep settled over them quickly after. Roman would wake in the morning, feeling more secure and warm than he had in quite some time, surrounded by plushies and Virgil’s arms, and know that he had so much to be grateful for.

[74demonking]

Chapter 2

-Kellen-

The sun had not yet risen when Kelln woke the following morning. He had stayed awake late into the night trying to narrow down what it was that was troubling him, yet he was no closer to identifying what it was that had him so vexed. Regardless, he did not wish to put off his visit to Imperium, to this powerful Queen. To have another Hell realm as an ally would be a benefit. If he could at least keep her from coming to war with them, that would be the least he could hope for. Kellen rarely aimed for the least of anything, and that was true in this instance as well.

Grae had been tasked with ensuring that they would be welcomed and procuring the necessary gifts that were customary when dignitaries came on such diplomatic visits. Kellen had no worries that these had both been seen to. At least those items were not ones that he would have to attend to; his focus could be solely on the new Queen and ensuring that the first impression was perfect. For her to have assumed the throne and subjugated both of the powerful males she had, she had to be quite the female. That made her a female Kellen was very interested in.

Kellen selected his black suit carefully, along with the fur trimmed cape that would go over it. Refined in its cut and fit, but exuded power in the intricate embroidery that decorated the front. Once clothing was set aside, Kellen started his grooming, his almost black eyes carefully studying every small detail about himself in the mirror as he did. Nothing was too small to escape his notice this morning, this meeting was too important of a meeting. He would not let anything go wrong with it. Not. One. Thing.

-Grae-

The velvet box sat on his desk. The gift had been carefully chosen by one of the courtesans whom he implicitly trusted. As always, he had been entrusted with procuring the gift to be presented, and for some reason he had gotten the impression that Kellen wanted to particularly impress the Queen that they were going to visit. Maybe the King had decided to give up his lecherous ways? There was always hope. It would certainly make life easier. However, from what he had heard of Queen Gabrielle, she was not an easy nor meek woman. Grae already liked her.

He had heard from a fae that Kellen was dressing in his customary black, so Grae dressed to match in a black morning coat, vest, and trousers. A black ascot was tied formally at the neck of his shirt and secured with a diamond pin. Formal, but not so much so as to outshine the King. Grae liked his head on his shoulders and wanted to keep it there.

Before going to meet Kellen, Grae raised the lid of the velvet box. The courtesan had done wonderfully, the piece was perfect. Before sending her on the task, Grae had been able to make some discreet inquiries of those who had met the Queen and discovered that she was more of a warrior Queen than a prissy one, something he was still looking forward to seeing Kellen handle. Rarely was she seen in gowns when not receiving formal guests or hosting formal functions; more often than not, she was in fighting leathers and could almost be mistaken for one of her legion, if it were not for her height, which was diminutive. It was based on that he had given instructions to the courtesan to find something unique, not overly flashy, and something that would represent their realm more than impress with the value.

Within the box lay a necklace, the center of which was crescent moon shaped, the points facing upwards. A large oval cabochon of Uffernium Opal was in the center, two smaller circular cabochons on either side more towards the points of the crescent. There were no other stones, and the metal was silver rather than golden colored. If the Queen was anything like her reputation, then this would be much more to the female’s liking than the normal diamond encrusted gaudy pieces that they had bequeathed in the past.

-Kellen-

Kellen had just finished dressing and having his groomsman gnome adjust all the details of his outfit when there was a knock at his chamber door. He was sure it was Grae so he called for him to enter. It was getting close to the time they were to go to Imperium, and while he would have liked to go earlier, he also knew that showing up too early would not give the correct impression either.

“Let me see it,” Kellen ordered when he saw the deep burgundy velvet box that Grae bore. He was anxious to not only know what had been chosen, but also to know how the Queen would receive it.

When Grae lifted the lid, Kellen’s brows knit together in confusion. Surely this was not what his top advisor had decided was what should be given to the Queen. It would not fit her station! It would be an insult and embarrass him. What could Grae have been thinking?

“Is this a joke? Something to break the mood because you know I am unusually tense regarding this visit?” Kellen asked, trying not to swat away the dark fae that was putting the last touches on his jacket. His expression was one of clear displeasure and his voice was the exclamation mark on that.

-Grae-

So, it was clear the King had not done his homework. It was a good thing he had, but why Kellen hadn’t confused him. For some reason this visit seemed to mean more to the King than others that they went on purely for diplomatic or curiosity reasons. Grae found it hard to understand why then Kellen wouldn’t have asked about the Queen and known that the normal gifts would not be her style.

“No, it is not a joke.” Grae watched Kellen’s features darken, as well as the room slightly, at his response. He continued undaunted, “however, in my inquiries regarding Queen Gabrielle, the normal jewel and diamond encrusted pieces would not be to her liking. She rarely is seen in a gown or with her tiara on. More often she is in leathers, or human clothes and with her guard or the other Horsemen. In truth, I was more inclined to give her a blade than jewelry, but was not sure I’d survive your reaction to seeing that. The gift is for this woman to appreciate that you have looked into who she is, or at least for me to have since you did not know what I did.” The last dig was possibly a bit much since Kellen’s features were still clouded with confusion, but since the darkness had lifted from the room, Grae was pretty sure he was no longer about to kill him.

-Kellen-

“I thought that to be all rumor, or that when she ascended to the throne that had changed. I did not consider that it would not have.” Kellen’s eyes remained on the piece; a piece that was perfect for the woman it was intended for, Grae had done well. He, however, had not and it bothered him that his advisor had interpreted the intel they had received better than he had.

“I was wrong, this is the perfect gift.” His eyes rose from the necklace to look at Grae, “and skipping the blade was a smart move. Giving her a blade at first meeting might be a bit presumptive. We might save that for the second meeting.” His expression softened and he gave a slightly weary smile. Now he was more troubled than before. It was not like him to mess up. He could not ruin this.

“Grae, what is wrong with me?” He demanded finally. When his advisor looked at him warily and confused he continued, “I was up late into the night. Something is nagging at me about this visit. And now, you have better judged someone that we are going to meet than I have. So, I ask again, what is wrong with me?”

-Grae-

“Leave us.” Grae’s chin rose definitely and an air of authority came to his voice. The two fae flitting about putting the finishing touches on both of them exited the room quickly. A wave of Kellen’s hands and the doors closed and were locked so that no one could come in.

“You are afraid you might finally meet your equal.” For the first time in their long friendship and working relationship, Grae saw surprise on Kellen’s face. “Come now, you must have realized it, Kellen.”

Grae closed the velvet box and set it on a nearby table then turned back to his friend to talk. “There are few beings in creation that have the same type of power as you, most of them male. I’m not sure we’ve run into a female that has even been close, outside of the Greeks and you’ve pissed all of them off. But, Gabrielle, she could be and I think you don’t know how to handle that.” He was frank with his friend. He’d wondered how Kellen would handle it. Not well would be the answer.

-Kellen-

Kellen scoffed and turned away. “Don’t be absurd.” But Grae wasn’t, and that is what bothered Kellen more than anything. It was quite possible he was right. Then what would happen? What if she was as powerful as he? Or, if she was more powerful? Was that what had been nagging at him?

He began to pace, his fists clenching and unclenching as he did. Grae smartly stayed off to the side and observed. “If she is as powerful then we must secure her as an ally. We have a war already Grae and I cannot support one if she can bring to bear the kind of power I can. If she would stand at our side, well that would give us a tactical advantage. Yes, it would help us greatly and increase our standing in the realms.” Kellen nodded, starting to resolve things in his head.

-Grae-

“And if she is as beautiful as they say?” Grae brought Kellen to a full stop with one sentence. Had his friend really not considered that, or worse not gotten that intel from whoever was providing it to him?

“Powerful and beautiful. You are going to tell me that you haven’t even considered that, my KING?” Now he was prodding Kellen to see how the other male would react. If Gabrielle was powerful and Kellen was going to be playing a romantic game with her, it could lead them to complete ruin.

-Kellen-

His back was to Grae, but Kellen didn’t need to be facing him to know the look on his face and why he’d asked the question. “Then she will be as beautiful as they say.” He was lying to both of them and he knew it.

Turning, he faced Grae. “We are not going there in order to romance her, if that is what you are thinking.” It was true, it was not the reason for the visit. What he didn’t say was that if she lived up to everything that he’d heard about her that romancing her would be a pleasure, and one he would take very seriously. However, whether the petite woman he’d heard so much about was worth all of the praise that had been heaped upon her was still yet to be seen, and Kellen was skeptical.

“We are going there to find out exactly who and what she is. I’m also hoping to see Lucifer and Abbadon on leashes.” A smirk came to Kellen’s lips as he considered even the thought of that, not that he could get lucky enough to see either male in that position. “And we’re also going to make sure that she knows the power that resides within Uffern as well.” Kellen’s face sombered. “If she is not as powerful as they say, then we don’t want her thinking that her badass reputation gives her the right to try to come in here and boss us around. I believe it is now time, let us go and see exactly who this Queen Gabrielle is.”

@74hybridangel

@kellencythraul

[dracoqueen22]

Reunion

Universe: The Prime’s Consorts Characters: Sideswipe, Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Sunstreaker Rating: T Description: Sideswipe thought he’d never see his brother again.

Sideswipe doesn’t know what to think when a trio of Primal guards shows up on his doorstep and demands he come with them. He’s torn between refusing because of what Streamline might do to him, and sprinting along with them because of a stupid hope that their arrival means he gets to see Sunstreaker. He immediately dashes that internal hope when he considers that seeing Sunstreaker is probably part of some ploy to force his brother into good behavior. His excitement immediately cools. Sideswipe goes with them because he doesn’t see where he has any other choice. His escorts are not very chatty. They don’t answer his questions, but sit in a stony silence as the transport heads straight for the shining beacon of Iacon, and the glittering tower that overlooks it all -- the Prime Residence. Sideswipe’s spark sinks deeper and deeper into his abdomen.

Sunstreaker is in that tower, enduring only Primus knows what, and Sideswipe is on his way to that very same tower, for a reason no one will give him. Sideswipe’s only comfort is that he’s not arriving in chains. There’s a surge of unconscious delight in his spark, one he can’t dampen, that keeps him riding the edge of calm. His every sensor is alight with his proximity to Sunstreaker. He dares hope he might get to hug his brother, share their fields, and if he’s really lucky, be allowed a shallow merge. The shuttle lands. They herd Sideswipe into the Prime Residence itself, lead him silently through the massive halls, passing too many doors to count, too many servants who bow and lower their gazes. He expects the atmosphere to reek of discomfort and simmering disgust. It doesn’t, and somehow, that’s the weirdest part. Sideswipe’s taken to a door. One of his guards presses a button, announces them in the same serious monotone as when he’d informed Sideswipe to come along, and the door slides open. They gesture him to go inside. There’s warning in their optics, though Sideswipe can’t imagine why, until he does as they ask, and he realizes. Slag. This is Optimus Prime’s office. And Optimus Prime is seated behind a large desk, the massive windows letting in streams of false sunlight while a larger mech stands beside him, pointing to a datapad in the Prime’s possession. The door shuts behind Sideswipe, leaving the guards on the other side. Optimus Prime looks at Sideswipe, and he smiles, and there’s such warmth in the smile, Sideswipe feels as if he’s stepped into an alternate dimension. Optimus Prime rises from behind the desk and circles it, extending a hand toward Sideswipe. “Hello, Sideswipe. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” he says. Sideswipe takes the hand on automatic. “I think the pleasure’s supposed to be mine, sir,” he says, because it’s a lesson Sunstreaker never quite absorbed, that being polite from the start earns you more concession than slag. Optimus Prime chuckles and gestures to a chair. “Please. Sit.” “I’d prefer to stand if it’s all the same to you,” Sideswipe says, flashing his patented smile, trying to ignore the other, much larger mech. “Can I ask what I’m doing here?” Optimus Prime returns to his desk, briefly patting the other mech on the shoulder before he sits. “I made a promise to your brother, and with Ultra Magnus’ help, I was finally able to fulfill it.” “I think Prowl might have contributed a task or two,” says the mech whom Sideswipe can only assume is Ultra Magnus in a dry tone. “It was a group effort,” Optimus Prime says, chuckling. It’s so surreal Sideswipe wonders if he’s still in recharge, and this is all some by-product of tainted energon. He stares at both of them. Ultra Magnus coughs into his hand and gives the Prime a pointed look. If Sideswipe didn’t know any better, he’d think it is chastisement, but this is the Prime here. And whoever Ultra Magnus is, no way he’s got authority over the Prime. Optimus Prime looks at Sideswipe directly, and it’s not comfortable to have the full force of that look. He says, “I know you have little reason to trust anyone in a position of authority, but nevertheless, I wish to reassure you that this isn’t a trap. It’s my hope that meeting you like this might reassure you of my intentions.” Sideswipe’s mouth opens and shuts, his arms folding as he ruminates on the Prime’s words. He has to admit, they’re pretty much the perfect thing someone should say in this situation if they’re trying to gain Sideswipe’s trust. But that’s the thing about politicians, isn’t it? They always know the right thing to say. Especially if they’ve managed to wheedle or force the necessary insight out of another party. Like, for example, Sunstreaker who has been in the clutches of Optimus Prime for too long already. “Your intentions,” Sideswipe echoes. “Yes,” Optimus Prime says, and he audibly cycles a ventilation. Most mechs might think this is the perfect time for a reassuring smile, but the Prime apparently doesn’t. He gives Sideswipe a serious look, his tone shaping into that of a vow, “My sole purpose in bringing you here is so I can ensure your and your brother’s happiness.” Sideswipe cycles his optics. “... What?” He thinks about resetting his audials, because the words don’t jive with what he’s used to hearing from mechs in the Prime’s position. Then again, he also knows the value of pretty words. They’re what got him and Sunstreaker into debt with Streamline in the first place. Kind words promising energon and safety and a home, and instead, it turns into a contract they can’t get out of. Sideswipe knows how to play this game, too. “I am aware of the circumstances behind Sunstreaker’s nomination, and I don’t approve of them. No mech should be held hostage for love of his family,” Optimus Prime says, and there’s something in his tone that’s almost… angry? On their behalf? Which if it’s feigned, mech’s doing a damn good job of it. “I want to reunite you with Sunstreaker because you two should be together and for no other reason.” For no other reason? Without any attached strings? Sideswipe doesn’t believe it for a second. The strings come later, in little favors and asks and wheedles. See how generous the Prime is? So generous now, so when he needs something later, he can remind them of his kindness. It’s easy enough to hand a leash from one owner to another, isn’t it? Sideswipe’s armor crawls. He smiles anyway, because that’s what he knows best to do. He smiles, and he says, “I thought I’d never get to see Sunstreaker again, honestly. Thank you, sir,” Sideswipe says, because when one stands in front of the singularly most powerful mech on the planet, they mind their glossa. “How long do we have?” “How long?” Optimus Prime echoes, and he actually looks confused for a moment before he shakes his head. “There’s no restriction. You can stay here if you’d like, or if you’d prefer, you can find alternate accommodation.” “There is the matter of your safety,” rumbles Ultra Magnus, who’s been doing his best to be a silent statue up until now, his attention grabbed by a datapad. “We can protect you better if you live here with your brother.” Right. Because Sunny can’t leave. Because he belongs to the Prime now. And apparently, Optimus Prime can’t manage without a matched set. Hold on. Sideswipe replays Optimus Prime’s words with Ultra Magnus’ additions. It takes that long for the full meaning of their offer to filter through his suspicion. Sideswipe tries not to gape and knows he’s failed. “Wait. You’re giving me the choice? I can live here with Sunstreaker if I want to?” “Yes, I am,” Optimus Prime says and there it is, a small smile that tries to be reassuring. “Would you like to see him?” Sideswipe barely resists squinting at him. Is that a real question or is he already starting with the mind-frag games? “If it’s not too much trouble,” he says instead. Streamline wouldn’t have been fooled, but Optimus Prime and his large lackey haven’t learned yet. “I’ve already called him, Optimus. He should be here any second now,” Ultra Magnus says. Optimus Prime gives him a look Sideswipe can’t interpret, but it doesn’t faze the mech. “Thank you.” “Of course.” Ultra Magnus pauses as a low, cheerful chime rings through the room. “That will be him now, as a matter of fact.” Sideswipe tingles all over, his spark one massive throb in his chassis. He turns as the door whooshes open, and it’s like onlining for the first time all over again, Sunstreaker walking inside looking beautiful and healthy and whole. He carries his head high, not a trace of slump to his shoulders, and that more than anything, shocks Sideswipe into silence. Or maybe it’s the fact Sunstreaker spots him just as quickly, changes direction from greeting the Prime to stride across the floor and sweep Sideswipe into a strut-crushing hug. Affection? From Sunstreaker? In front of other people? Sideswipe hugs him back, equally fierce. “Missed you, too,” he murmurs as his spark throbs a frantic beat of love-need-relief. “Shut up,” Sunstreaker hisses, squeezing until his armor creaks, only to pull back and take Sideswipe’s hand in a crushing grip. “We’re going to talk later,” he tells Optimus Prime in a voice that sounds too much like chastisement for Sideswipe’s comfort, before he starts tugging Sideswipe out of the room. “Take all the time you need,” is Optimus Prime’s diplomatic response, tinged with amusement, before the door shuts on them. “Did you just yell at the Prime?” Sideswipe asks, dazed. His head spins. Too much is happening too fast especially when all he can focus on is the nearness of Sunstreaker’s spark, and how much his chassis jutters to open. “He deserved it,” Sunstreaker says, tugging Sideswipe to the next door over, keying it open, revealing a plush sitting room larger than their entire apartment back in Tarn. “Deserved it… Sunny, he’s the Prime!” Sideswipe splutters, aghast at his twin’s nonchalance, though he should have expected it. Sunstreaker never has been one for respecting authority. Sunstreaker squeezes his hand and whirls on Sideswipe, pulling him into another embrace. “I’ll explain later,” he says, one hand cupping the back of Sideswipe’s neck as he presses their foreheads together. “Promise.” Their chassis collide, and Sunstreaker’s twitching chestplate rasps against Sideswipe’s own. Oh. “Yeah, okay, sure,” Sideswipe says, processor twirling. “Later.” He curves an arm around his brother’s waist, keeping them close, in-venting the familiar scent of Sunstreaker’s stupid-expensive wax, and soaking in the weight of his twin’s field. “Primus, I missed you.” He stops holding back, and his chestplates spring open, the glow of his spark briefly reflected on Sunstreaker’s armor before he opens as well, and the pull of his spark is impossible to resist. Explanations can come later. Right now, Sideswipe has his twin in his arms, and that is all that matters. ***

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @xxg0thbabyxx

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are mercury, the sun and uranus. you are definitely a very charismatic person, you are sociable and people see you as someone easy to approach. you look and are friendly, you try to make everyone comfortable, even though you could change your mind pretty often. because of that, people can see you as too unpredictable or impulsive.

your dominant sign is gemini. you are a very intelligent individual, you are thirsty for knowledge and you also have great communication skills. you have a witty sense of humor, you're able to make everyone feel at ease with your sympathy. people may say you're two-faced, but in reality you just act in the most appropriate way based on the situation you're in. you despise boredom, you're very experimental in your life, but others may mistake this trait for flakiness.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in gemini, 2° / 1st decan ruled by mercury

you enjoy communicating and intellectualism. you’re very curious about everything that surrounds you. you love expanding your knowledge, ideas and mind in general through communication, interactions and media. you have the ability to adapt quickly to new situations; your mind is fast, usually impulsive, even though this energy may not be much prominent; it may be perceived differently due to your libra energy, in fact. that’s because libra prefers organizing things, rather than acting impulsively. yet, this placement still helps you being adaptable to changes, even though you may only be able to see it after a few years if you manage to balance it well. you may also be able to match the energy of the people you’re talking to in order to be perceived as more likeable and connect with everyone on a deeper level. you may be fond of books, poetry, literature… both writing and reading. it’s also a way to let yourself tune to your emotions. since you’re constantly mentally active, physically you may also tend to play with your fingers or hair, or maybe you tend to gesticulate while you speak. appearance-wise, I assume you’re at least of average height, with long limbs and fingers. you have something small about your face; you may either have a small nose, or eyes, lips etc. same thing goes for your bones. you may be naturally skinny, or perhaps you have healthy curves. you also tend to look younger than you actually are, especially when growing up. you may often be, or at least look, sleepy. your eyes have a very dreamy look to them, and they’re probably almond-shaped.

gemini ascendant square pisces moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. the moon being in pisces doesn't help either, as this aspect enhances its trust issues even more. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.

gemini ascendant opposite sagittarius pluto: you're aware that the world is too nasty for your honesty, hence you may have trust issues. even though you are friendly, you're very picky about who you decide to actually call your friend. you may constantly feel lonely, as if no one were willing to listen and understand you. you live with the fear that others may take advantage of you, hence you end up doing it yourself, unconsciously. you may be controlling, but your chart hints that it's not too much of a big deal. you may have the tendency to do it sometimes, but it's mostly a bad trait of your past life. the universe is testing you to see if you've learned your lesson or not. you have all the skills to avoid this type of behaviour now that you're aware of it.

🌞 sun in gemini, 15° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and venus

with your sun in the mutable sign of gemini, you are a very light-hearted, chill individual. you're very bright and bubbly, you have amazing communication skills and also an entertaining sense of humor that is able to light up the room. you're very sociable, you like interacting with others, and with your heavy gemini energy in the rest of your chart, you don't find it hard to let this side of you out, especially with people you feel comfortable with. since gemini is a mutable sign, you most likely have tons of interests and hobbies, they're so many that you find it hard to keep up with all of them, despite being extremely good at multi-tasking. in fact, you're particularly intelligent and thirsty for knowledge. you like learning about everything, you love looking and being smart. it's your way to feel empowered and proud of yourself. you always need freshness in your daily life, you cannot stand boredom. because of that, you may often change your ideas, your hobbies, your favourite singer, etc. sometimes, you could even apply this to friends and lovers, and people may consider you unloyal or not much serious because of that. in addition, you get easily very anxious and stressed, to the point that you may seem dramatic to others.

gemini sun square pisces moon: with this aspect, what you need and what you want tend to clash. in your case, your gemini sun wants to be in the spotlight, you want to be sociable and have fun. you want to go out often and live life to the fullest, while your pisces moon is more private, it prefers being alone. as a result, you may come off as unpredictable and / or indecisive. you could struggle with being optimistic, as you have this inner turmoil in you that makes you struggle to attract positive situations in your life. you may often feel conflicted, as if you didn't have control over your emotions. you may have unstable self-esteem, one day you could be feeling extra confident and happy with yourself and then the next day you feel very insecure, you want to change everything about your persona. you could feel unwanted, or perhaps you actually used to feel unwanted during your childhood, perhaps by your parents, relatives or even by other children at school. you're basically a walking paradox, you want both intimacy and independence, stability and flexibility.

gemini sun opposite sagittarius pluto: probably during your childhood you couldn't make your own decisions. you might have been highly influenced by someone in your family, probably your father, and hence now you feel the need to have everything under control. maybe too much. you despise authority, you may even quite rebellious. maybe your parents have tried to convince you following their religion, ideals etc., without giving you freedom. or perhaps, they are overprotective and avoid to make you have experiences. I imagine that getting rid of your control issues, which are caused by this sense of not being in control of your life, may be the first step to finally heal your wound, which is somehow linked to the relationship with your friends and casual partners in your everyday life. start trusting others more, and don't be afraid of being 'fooled'. you're totally capable of understanding when someone is trying to hurt you, follow your intuition. even though it may be hard, even painful, it'll be the key to transform and overcome pluto's lessons to achieve your goals.

🌙 moon in pisces, 5° / 1st decan ruled by neptune

hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

pisces moon square sagittarius pluto: your emotions are so intense that they almost scare those around you. in fact, you're prone to accentuated mood swings; when you're happy, you start smiling and laughing joyfully. when you're sad, you're the type to cry, scream, even throw up in some cases. that's how far you go with your emotions. maybe, you also feel repressed to express your feelings exactly for this reason. you probably also have a conservative/possessive mother (or just any member of your family), with whom you don't feel at ease expressing your emotions. or maybe, your mother was absent throughout your life. on the other hand, you can understand others' feelings, but be careful not to use it to manipulate others. you could also be very paranoid, and might develop addictions and anxiety disorders, especially with your sensitive pisces moon.

🗣 mercury in gemini, 28° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus

mercury is in its natural place in gemini, your whole chart flows very well! you have great problem-solving skills, you are extremely intelligent and astute. when you were younger, you probably used to be the winner at games like hide-and-seek. this placement also enhances your thirst for knowledge of any kind, you want to learn at least a little about anything, from science to foreign cultures. yet, since you want to learn so many things all at once, you may lack precision and be a little bit superficial. on the other hand, you're a fast learner and you may often find people predictable, but in reality you're just ahead of them. you're also very open-minded, even though you still rely more on logic, not like your sister sign is sagittarius. yet, it's easy for you to be flexible in your day-to-day life, you don't have to follow a schedule to have everything under control, even though you may often suffer from stress and headaches due to this lack of organization. you may have a very youthful and positive voice, you just give off good vibes, you know?

❤️ venus in leo, 0° / 1st decan ruled by the sun

with leo venus you're very picky, as you have high expectations for your future partner. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love. you look at them as if they were the brighest star in the sky, and you want to be seen like this as well. you may even be a bit clingy, but your partner needs to be aware of that. they can't repress your need for affection. you see love as a way to revive your inner child, you feel younger when you're in love. even though you want someone fun and outgoing, you also need someone ambitious, hard-working and generally serious when it comes to committing. there's no room in your life for flaky people.

leo venus square libra mars: this placement most likely gives you a short-temper. you may have lots of friends or lots of romantic partners, but you may find yourself being often irritated by them. you could argue with others over petty things, and this could affect your relationships significantly. at the same time, you enjoy fun, exciting relationships. you're the type who's looking for a risktaker, even dangerous partner. you hate boredom, and this may be your weakness regarding this placement; that is, once the relationship starts getting more serious, you feel as if it's going down, when it's actually the opposite. hence, you just run towards a new adventure. with this placement, what you need is learning to open up and being honest without being too blunt. you need to talk about your feelings, you can't bottle them up, but be careful not to sound rude, don't be too impulsive. because of your nature, the perfect partner for you would be someone mature, confident and empathetic that will understand you and won't get hurt by your words.

leo venus square aries jupiter: you come off as a very positive, happy-go-lucky person. you're extremely friendly, and this makes you be good at social relationships. you may have lots of friends, or at least you have the potential to make many if you opened up and talked to them. yet, while this energy gives you positive vibes, some people may take advantage of that, as you could easily be mistaken for naive. people can try to dominate you unconsciously (sometimes even on purpose) not only in relationships but even in friendships. aside from that, I don't think this placement causes you many problems. you may have the tendency to procrastinate and not work. you could be quite lazy and get easily distracted, as you're constantly with your head in the cloud.

leo venus opposite aquarius neptune: you probably dream of a love like those you hear about in fairytales; you're not only looking for a partner, you literally want a princess/prince, who's willing to give their all to you. you find yourself daydreaming often about love, and it may also be your source of inspiration for creativity and art in general. probably, you may idealize people too much; that is, you may create a version of others that only exists in your head. hence, once you get to know someone better, they turn out to be the exact opposite of what you thought. this causes you to be sort of naive when it comes to relationships, so pay extra attention to this problem now that you're aware of it.

☄️ mars in libra, 24° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

there’s this stereotype that libra mars people are passive-aggressive. it may be true, but only partially. in fact, you try to avoid conflicts exclusively when you’re in public, or maybe with someone you don’t know well. in that case, you can eventually try to avoid the problem. with people you’re close to, you’re pretty much the opposite. you may say the worst of things that you probably don’t even feel, you may even have the istinct to throw hands. you’re driven by a strong sense of justice, and you probably were the class’ snitch during daycare/primary school. you also strive for equality, hence you may get very defensive when it comes to proving your innocence, or just really anyone’s. overall, you’re a fair person with strong morals, who acts based on the situation you’re in.

libra mars opposite aries jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in gemini. your ego feels fulfilled when you express your opinions, ideas and creativity. people probably see you as an intelligent, wise individual. maybe even as a know-it-all. you care about both your inner and outer self, which may be the cause of your confidence issues. you try to fit into society, and you tend to change your approach to people based on who you’re interacting with. while this gives you great social skills, it may confuse you quite a bit. in fact, you may forget who you are. you may often have identity crisis, especially since you always feel as if you have to fit somewhere. your sun in this house makes you very confident and motivated to achieve your goals. you possess strong leadership, which makes you aspire for the best positions in work, school, marriage etc. you don't want to lower your standards. you hate routine; you always try to spice up your daily life a bit by meeting new people and trying new experiences in general. you enjoy having fun, partying, travelling... you thrive in social situations. you may have troubles making right decisions, as you're quite indecisive. but, once you do choose, no one is gonna stop you from achieving your goals and showing the world who you are. in fact, you gain confidence from your assertiveness, making you pretty proud of your persona as well.

your 2nd house is in gemini again, with also your mercury sitting there. you’re probably very intelligent, and your skills are what boost your self-esteem. you’re also capable of doing more than one thing at the same time. you could make money from communication, hence you could become a writer, a singer, a theraphist, a judge, even an influencer. anything that involves the use of words. you may also be quite intelligent, and your intellect and ideas are what make you feel most confident. you have a slow way of thinking and speaking. your voice may sound really calm and pleasant to hear, yet still strict and ambitious. you’re probably a good singer, or at least have the potential to become one. you tend to overthink a lot, but you eventually get to a conclusion and stick to it. no one is gonna change your mind. you enjoy learning and working in creative ways; you might enjoy using powerpoints, flashcards or maybe study with your friends, or listening to music. you also probably have a nice, aesthetic handwriting and you like organizing your agenda. your voice is probably very soft and youthful.

your 3rd house is in cancer. your parents were probably successful in school and university, and they passed down their knowledge to you. maybe, you may have the same interests or passions as them, or perhaps they want you to be academically successful just like them. you may also find yourself talking about your memories, as you’re very attached to them, or even directly about your childhood/parents. your venus is also in this house: your flirting style most probably includes jokes, teasing… things like that. even though you may seem flaky, as you like experiencing romance with different types of people, you’re actually quite picky. in fact, in order to fall for someone, you need to feel mentally attracted to them, not just physically. someone ignorant and stubborn that doesn’t care about learning something most definitely isn’t for you. you’re not the type to be super romantic and sweet with your partner or just people in general. you show your affection for example by sending them memes, making ironic jokes about them etc. also, when you’re into someone, you probably get very talkative! you start asking them simple questions about their life, even things like 'did you have lunch?’.

your 4th house is in leo. your family had great expectations of you, which could have eventually led to anxiety/self-esteem issues. on the other hand, your parents cared about you, and they always made sure that you had everything you needed. if you have siblings, you were most likely the favourite child in the family, or at least you were spoiled by your parents, both with material things and affection. overall, your childhood wasn’t much turbulent, even though your parents most likely were quite strict with you. there could have been a bit of arguing as well aside from restrictions, and hence it was hard for you to establish a proper emotional bond with them. because of that, you may feel a little insecure now, as you may constantly feel misunderstood by others.

your 5th house is in virgo. you enjoy relax, yet you may feel guilty to abandon work for a while. you always feel like you have something to do, and that doesn’t allow you to fully enjoy your rest time. make sure to always find some space for yourself, though. it’s where your energy resides, you feel at home and comfortable exploring your abilities, you shouldn’t take them for granted. also, this enhances your writing abilities even more. in fact, you’re both creative to create stories and rational to tell them objectively and in a clear manner. you're picky with your lovers and friends, it takes time for you to open up to someone and fully trust them, but once you do, you're very loyal. I don't see you being as extroverted as other geminis, you need your alone time, but you definitely don't mind spending time with your loved ones and close friends.

your 6th house is in libra. you most likely involve beauty, art, aesthetics and creativity in your daily routine. your home environment probably looks very neat and well-designed. you care a lot about it, as much as you care about yourself; you put a lot of attention in your outfits and looks too, and you most likely love shopping. this is another placement that indicates that your ideal career should serve your need for creativity and self-expression. it’s very important for you to pursue a career that helps you find a way to express the creative side of your mind. you may also often find yourself dating people from your daily routine, hence co-workers, classmates etc. mars is also placed in this house: your life revolves around being productive. you don't like to waste your time, you always try to learn and gain something useful from everything you do. that's caused by the fact that you're motivated to be perfect in what you like; this, combined with your competitive nature, may often cause you to burn out.

your 7th house is in sagittarius. you want your marriage to be a constant travel for you, in which you can both relax and learn. you want to marry a witty and impulsive partner, that is also fun to live with. you may often find yourself falling for unavailable people, either physically or emotionally (or even both). they may be foreign, or at least they’re able to speak a different language from yours. they could also have a different culture/religion from yours. overall, they're also very wise, outgoing and surprisingly open-minded and philosophical. you could meet them in a place where you go to relax, such as the movie theater, a spa, the beach or even during a vacation. your sagittarius pluto is also sitting in this house: you tend to attract very intense partners. your future spouse will be very loyal and fond of you, but they may be a little too obsessive for you. it will be a very intimate relationship, but you may struggle with control. in fact, you’ll most likely be both very possessive and easily jealous, and there may be some arguments regarding this issue. with this placement, you may also attract ‘broken’ people, such as drug dealers, alcoholics, abusers… yet, as I’ve already mentioned, you also have jupiter (sagittarius) in this house, which makes you luckier when it comes to love. you’ll most likely avoid this type of people, but your relationships will still be very karmic. they may be painful, as you love hard when you fall for someone, but they’ll be crucial for your self-growth. you may also find yourself being attracted to mature, possibly older people, from different cultures / country from yours.

your 8th house is in sagittarius again. you’re very curious when it comes to taboo topics, you like learning about them. you’re probably into conspiracy theories, as well as matters like astrology, tarots, horror, tragedies, violence… you can use them to transform yourself and grow up, so you could definitely use this birth chart reading to improve yourself. 8th house is also the house of karma, and yours is kind of strange. you may often feel like you’re right about something, e.g the sky is blue. you’re very proud of your observation, but then it turns out to be different. it’s like the universe is constantly teaching you new things. luckily, this is something that gets better with time. in addition, having sagittarius here is great, as jupiter kind of protects you from the 8th house’s malefic themes. all the negative things that could happen to you, are actually blessings that are here to help you. you just need to be a little bit more optimistic, the universe has your back.

your 9th house is in capricorn, with also your neptune sitting there. you have a pragmatic approach to philosophy, school and experiences in general. for example, you may be the type to plan every day of a travel. at school, you were probably the type to prefer more logical subjects, but I assume that you were good at all of them. with neptune being also here, you may come across a lot of unexpected and confusing events in your life, especially when you’re entering a new phase of your life. yet, you may often get lost in your thoughts and get unmotivated from time to time. you most likely love travelling and making new experiences. if you had to choose how to spend your spare time, you’d most likely choose to travel somewhere. you’re also extremely open-minded, you hardly ever have prejudices. you surely don’t judge people from their sexuality, skin colour etc. last but not least, you may also have a knack for philosophy, poetry, literature, history… anything that can open your mind and stimulate your creativity.

your 10th house is in aquarius with also your moon and uranus placed there. your uranus is tightly conjunct the midheaven. you want to stand out from the crowd, you strive to establish your own morals and beliefs. you don’t want to conform to anything and anyone, as you’re a trend-setter and you want to be seen as such. you’d rather have a job where you can handle your work yourself, rather than having a boss. in fact, aquarius in this house makes you extremely resolute and motivated to achieve your goals and be independent. you may not be much interested in love, and if you are, you don’t overlook career either. having a stable and successful future that makes you happy is the key for happiness in your life. it’s important to be focused when working, especially for you. yet, once you know how to balance this tricky energy and get your stuff together, you’ll earn a reputation for being an innovative and original person. you may be quite artistic, creative and emotional, you’ll probably focus your life on self-expression. with the moon in this house, you are most likely going to be independent at work, you'll most likely have your own business. you could possibly work online as well, you could earn money through the internet, or perhaps your job may require you to physically move: you could be a dancer, an actor/actress, you could pursue a career that involves a certain sport, etc. you will get to express your emotions through your job, or perhaps you'll get to help other people with their feelings. you would make a great therapist, nurse, counselor, etc.

your 11th house is in pisces. you probably had problems with your friendships in your early years. you could have been too shy to approach people, hence you struggled to befriend them. or maybe, you used to gossip around, and that led you to lose them. or perhaps, you’re too work-oriented to find some spare time to hang out with others, and hence you end up losing your bond with them. in the best case, you may have quite spiritual / religious friends, or perhaps they’re your soulmates, they were a part of your past life. you have this habit of idealizing them a bit; that is, you may be too picky in choosing your friends. you’re probably looking for the type of friend that’d literally throw themselves under a car to save you, but it’s hard to actually find someone like that. open up more and accept others as they are. you don’t necessarily need to be with them for a long time, but make sure to learn your lessons from them.

lastly, your 12th house is in the sign of taurus, with also saturn and jupiter placed there. you may feel attracted to spirituality, but you’re quite lazy to actually dive into it. I feel like at first you may be quite skeptical about your abilities, but as time goes by you become more open-minded and in tune with your higher self. once you understand your true power, you'll become very spiritual and intuitive. you'll have lots of meaningful dreams, possibly prophetic dreams that could warn you about the future. you may be able to perceive and talk to higher entities such as spirits, and you could become a master at manifestation. with a positive attitude, you'll be able to attract everything you want in your life, especially finances and love thanks to taurus in the cusp of the 12th house.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract sagittarius, virgo, scorpio and aquarius placements. your future spouse may also have prominent sagittarius placements; you need someone who’s charming, respectful, interesting and polite, but that can also stand up for themselves with no hesitation. you’re also into the magnetic, sexy type. you’re looking for someone independent, but that wouldn’t mind dedicating their time to you. you may feel unlucky in love, as your sagittarius descendant makes you attract people that are usually unavailable, whether it’s physically (they’re abroad) or emotionally. you may marry someone of a different culture/country/religion from yours. you may also meet and marry abroad or during a vacation. they could also be someone very well known in their career field, or perhaps they may even be famous. you could also meet them in a place where people usually relax, such as a bar or at the restaurant, and it will most likely be love at first sight. your children will most probably have very prominent mercurian energy, hence virgo or gemini; they’ll love to learn new things, they'll be very witty and ask multiple questions, as they will be very intelligent. yet, they could be a bit too talkative, and could have a tendency to gossip.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably very hard-working, and she has a strong role in your family. she loves being spoiled and appreciated, together with receiving attention. yet, she could sometimes be quite superficial because of that, but deep down she’s very romantic and mannered. she may have leo placements, or maybe aquarius, cancer, scorpio or capricorn. your father is a bit more unpredictable, he could be moody and therefore you may argue with him more often, and he might be an aquarius or have any type of fire/water placement in his chart. yet, he also has a very sweet and outgoing side to him that he may struggle to let out. if you have siblings, they’re probably leos/fire signs. you have a very pleasant relationship with them, you're all very playful and generous and you used to always stand up for each other, even though there could have been a bit of competition.

📊 career

as I’ve already mentioned above, you most likely have great communication skills and writing abilities. you’re very logical and precise, you’d definitely do well in a field that requires calm and organization. I can also picture you being an amazing teacher or even professor. based on your other placements, you could also do well at literally any creative career! you may be a dancer, a singer, or even something more complex like a creative director. otherwise, you could also be successful as a designer of any kind, an architect, a scientist… something that allows you to be mostly independent, but that can still guarantee you mental stimulation and a decent income, and that also allows you to use your creative venusian energy. I also see you working in the medical field, especially as a therapist, a psychologist, a nurse... anything that allows you to help other people's mental health. your future career could also include spirituality, such as yoga, astrology... you may be a medium, a tarot reader, a fortune teller, etc.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

keyword for your wardrobe: black. every leo venus loves black, it's probably my favorite love story. after all, it's such a versatile color! it can be both badass and classy, how can I blame you. you may also have a thing for anything that looks luxury and high quality; you probably enjoy wearing designer brands, especially in your belts and bags. you may also like wearing fitted clothes, even just simple skinny jeans or tight tops. aside from black, you could as well use white and bold colours like gold, hot pink etc. also, you may as well be into pastel colors, and you could like following fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were very career-oriented. you were probably extremely successful at work, it was your priority. you could have even been someone important for your career, who knows. yet, this lifetime you don't need to focus on work anymore, you're already a master at it. now, you need to solve your issues with your family and create a family of your own to fully accomplish your life purpose. there may be some ups and downs, but this is what your soul has to learn in this lifetime.

🤔 major transits analysis / august 18

jupiter is current in aquarius, meaning that it's transiting your 10th house conjunct your pisces moon. this is an extremely positive time for you! in fact, having the planet of abundance and luck conjunct the planet of energy means that you're motivated to work hard and achieve your goals! it's the best time to start a diet, a workout routine, study, dive into a new hobby... your vibration is much higher these days, therefore it's the best time for you to manifest.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

you’re very in contact with your spirituality, making you more sensitive to higher affirmations. you have the ability to visualize what you want. that’s the key to activate the loa: travel with your fantasy, and visualize what you desire. do you want a new car? imagine yourself doing road-trips on that car. a new phone? visualize yourself making calls with that phone. you can even literally create a story involving those topics and it will come true. you can also help yourself by writing and listening to your own affirmations, maybe covered up by some music. in this way, you'll develop a more optimistic mindset and you'll be able to attract more positivity in your life. you just have to believe in your power!

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

-libramc xx