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For Melly: Aerith/Tifa - against all odds
Tifa is exhausted.Â
Sheâs covered in cuts and bruises. Her body aches. Her headâs spinning, and worst of all, her heart has taken a beating. She doesnât understand Cloud. She doesnât know Cloud. She wonders if she ever did.Â
And she definitely isnât sure what happened five years ago. Not anymore.Â
Tifaâs exhausted, but she canât sleep. Energy runs through her veins, adrenaline certain another battle might come bursting through that door. She canât seem to calm down.Â
It doesnât seem like Aerith can sleep either. Sheâs been staring at the ceiling and fiddling with the buttons on her dress for as long as Tifaâs been fruitlessly counting chocobos. Sheâs up to 963.Â
Tifa rolls on her side, facing Aerith, arm tucked under her cheek. âCanât sleep either, huh?âÂ
âYouâd think Iâd be exhausted,â Aerith says. She turns to face Tifa, their bodies a pair of parentheses on opposite beds. Her shoulders are bare, but Tifa isnât sure why sheâs focusing on that fact. âI mean, Iâm definitely tired, but I guess thatâs not enough.âÂ
âWorried?â Tifa asks. âAbout your mom?âÂ
Aerith smiles, gentle and sweet all the way to her willowy bones. âNo. She can take care of herself.âÂ
âDo you think we made the wrong choice?â Tifa blurts out, almost before Aerith can finish answering. Itâs something Tifaâs gnawed on, over and over, especially after Cloudâs recitation of an event he canât have seen.Â
Is he wrong because heâs lying on purpose? Or is he actually remembering something he experienced because the choice they made, there on that highway, has fundamentally altered the course of their universe? Is he even her Cloud? Or is Tifa the one misremembering?Â
Tifa doesnât know.Â
âItâs too soon to say.â Aerith draws nonsense on the mattress in front of her. That soft smile lingers. âItâs terrifying, but itâs also kind of exhilarating.âÂ
Tifa would chalk Aerithâs optimism up to naivete, but thatâs far from the truth. Aerithâs life hasnât been a picnic and that she can still be sweet is a testament to her strength.Â
Tifa envies her for it. That strength that allows her to be weak.Â
âHow so?â she asks.Â
âWell, Iâve never had a sleepover before,â Aerith says with the frankness that makes Tifaâs heart ache. âOr a girlfriend.â She pauses, cheeks going pink. âI mean, a woman who is a friend. Woman-friend? No, that just doesnât have the same ring to it.âÂ
Tifa laughs quietly as Aerithâs face scrunches with genuine confusion.Â
âItâs been a long time since Iâve had a girlfriend,â Tifa says. âMost of the kids my age were boys.âÂ
âLike Cloud?âÂ
Tifaâs too slow to stop the flinch. Itâs hard to say if Aerith noticed. âYeah,â she says quietly, but then the memory hits her, easing the sting. âThough heâs always been pretty enough.âÂ
âHe sure is.â Aerith giggles and turns on her back, stretching her arms over her head with a hum. âBut thatâs what I mean. We made a choice and decided to fight, and now here I am, against all odds, on my first sleepover.âÂ
Tifa doesnât tell her all the ways this doesnât count. Itâs a simple wish. A simple joy. She wants Aerith to have it.Â
âDo you think we should have a pillow fight?â Aerith asks, but before Tifa can answer, she laughs and says, âHmm. Maybe not. I think youâd win in one hit.âÂ
âIâd be gentle,â Tifa says.Â
âI know you would.â Aerithâs grin makes Tifaâs heart go thump-thump-thump in a way it hasnât before.Â
Aerith abruptly sits up and looks around as if an idea has popped into her mind. âHmm,â she says. âThereâs not enough furniture to make a fort, and I donât think that vending machine had any candy. Iâm stumped on ideas.âÂ
âArenât we a little old for sleepovers anyway?âÂ
âProbably.â Aerith sighs, and thereâs a wealth of disappointment in the small sound. âI guess we should be sleeping. We have a lot more walking ahead of us.âÂ
Aerith flops back, pulls the blanket up to her chin, and stares at the ceiling. She dutifully closes her eyes, and Tifa feels a bit like sheâs kicked a bucket. Could it really hurt to entertain such an innocent joy?Â
Tifa rolls off the bed, bringing her blanket with her, and flops down next to Aerith. âTell me a secret,â she says as she squirms down to get comfortable.Â
Aerith blinks at her. âWhat?âÂ
âItâs what you do at a sleepover.â At least, in Tifaâs experience, that what she thinks most young girls do. âYou tell each other secrets.âÂ
âOh.â Aerithâs cheeks turn a pretty pink. âI donât think I have any that you donât already know.â She presses her lips together, face scrunched in serious thought.Â
âNothing?â Tifa prompts as she tucks her arm under her head. âNot even an embarrassing story you donât want anyone to know?âÂ
Aerith laughs and turns to face her, voice going softer like they are two young woman sharing a secret with no one else. âI have plenty of those stories. But what about you? Do you have any secrets?âÂ
âToo many,â Tifa sighs, and her thoughts wander again, to home, to Nibelheim, to five long, confusing years, and one stubborn, confusing blond the next room over. Maybe this is a bad idea after all.Â
She shouldnât spill all the troubles on her shoulders. Aerith shouldnât have to help bear that load. She has enough problems without Tifa adding to her stress. Maybe this was a bad idea after all.Â
Tifa shifts, intending to go back to her own bed, and back to chocobo number 964. But Aerith touches her arm, and thatâs enough for Tifa to freeze. Surprised.Â
âWe donât have to share secrets,â Aerith says, her resting hand curling into a gentle hold, âBut we can share the bed. If you want, I mean.âÂ
Tifaâs heart throbs so loud, it thumps in her ears. Slowly, she settles back into place, arm tingling under the barely noticeable weight of Aerithâs hand.Â
âThat is one of the rules of sleepovers,â Tifa says, even though theyâre both too old and bruised for such a thing. But they are also a lot alike. Tifaâs never had a âgirlfriendâ either.Â
Aerith giggles and winks at her. âI wonât tell if you donât. It can be our secret.â She holds out a hand, pinky crooked. âPromise?âÂ
Tifaâs face heats, almost like sheâs blushing, but that would be ridiculous. No less ridiculous than hooking her finger with Aerithâs and saying, âPromise.âÂ
Lying there next to Aerith, Tifa doesnât even get to chocobo number 965 before sheâs fast asleep.Â
***
#aerith gainsborough#tifa lockhart#aerti#aerith/tifa#ff7 fanfic#flash fiction fills#draco writes#unedited#ff7 rebirth
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"English isn't my-"
Hush now my friend, and let me read the absolute beauty of a fic that you have bestowed this world and humiliated the first English speakers with
#x reader#fanfic#bakugou x reader#bucky x reader#dabi x reader#dean winchester x reader#draco x reader#hawks x reader#peter parker x reader#steve rogers x reader#tony stark x reader#sherlock x reader#x men#sebastian stan x reader#avengers x reader#deadpool x reader#wolverine x reader#english#writer stuff#writing#language#descendants x reader#love it#fantastic#incredible#majestic#awesome#funny#entertainment#one direction
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me, reading my own incomplete writing : *gasp* and then what happened?
#someome make me write#or give me writing prompts please!!#hp#marauders#the marauders era#harry potter#gryffindor#wolfstar#hogwarts#remus lupin#sirius black#slytherin#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#drarry#draco malfoy#writing#writer#ao3#fic#fanfiction#fanfic#fanfic author#drabble#prompts
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nsfw headcanons and kinks of harry potter characters
ft. harry, ron, cedric, fred, george, draco, blaise, theodore, tom, hermione, pansy
a/n: well there is obviously a lot of SMUT, also it's a female reader
ŕźşâŕźť
⤡ Harry - lingerie
harry for sure loves when you wear some nice pair of lingerie, he finds it so hot when the nice lace hugs your body so perfectly. every time when he's out, he looks for some new pair of lingerie that he would buy you. oh yeah he buys you every single pair but one time, you surprised him on his b-day with red pair of lingerie (like gryffindor theme lingerie) and he was hard within seconds.
"oh- oh my fucking god, you look amazing sweetheart. do a spin for me please- slowly, i wanna see how pretty you look in this" harry hummed while he sat on his bed with you slowly turning in front of him. he could feel his hard dick pressing against his pants, pre-cum already making his boxers dirty. he brushed his hand over his erection before he hummed again. "come closer baby, i wanna touch you..."
⤡ Ron - body worship
ron was very unexperienced at the start, you were basically his first everything, first girlfriend, first kiss, first lover. so when was the first time you two had sex, he was just so mesmerized by your whole body that he had to watch himself for not cumming into his pants just from the sight of your naked body. you are gorgeous in his eyes, more than that! from that time it kinda sticked with him, every time you two have sex now, he has to worship you before anything, he wants you to know how beautiful you are on his eyes...
you could feel ron's hands tracing soft patterns over your sides while his eyes were glued to your boobs. "bloody hell, baby you are so beautiful.. " he mumbled while he moved his big palms over your boobs, squeezing them lightly. "i can't belive how lucky i'm to have you, now let me make you feel good." he added before he took off your panties and kissed his way down to your pretty cunt.
⤡ Cedric - praise kink
cedric is overall very vocal when you two have sex, he either growls, hums, groans, breaths heavily or he's mumbling praises to you. he really cannot help himself when he sees you all spread under him; your legs wrapped around him, your hands scratching his back while he holds your hips and is thrusting into you, mercilessly. he always makes sure that you can hear him properly so he usually leans closer to you, brushing his lips over your ear in soft kisses, whispering praise right into your ear.
"you're doing so good princess, taking all of me like this..." he whispers into your ear, his hips are crushing against yours, his dick hitting every right spot while you're a moaning mess under him. "you feel so good, i can't get enough of you, my sweet girl.." he groans again into your ear while his tempo isn't slowing down.
⤡ Fred - public sex
fred is thrilled with the idea of getting caught, it's the adrenaline and the possessivness from him screaming, i mean he wants people to know that you're his, that you chose him and that only HE makes you feel this good. so you two usually have sex somewhere around hogwarts. empty classroom, broom closet, empty gryffindor common room, bathroom, you name it.
"shh baby, be quiet you don't want anybody to catch us, do you?" he smirks while he has you seated on a desk in empty potion class. both of you are skipping class so it's pretty quiet outside on the hallways, anyone who will walk past can hear you. he doesn't care how loud you are because he doesn't care if you two get caught, he just wants to tease you. even tho you try to be quiet, you can't help yourself and moan again. "naughty girl yeah, let everybody know how good i make you feel..."
⤡ George - orgasm denial
george loves the face you make when he pushes you to the edge but just seconds before you're about to cum, he slows down his moves or stops completely, kissing your skin instead. he also loves teasing you but the way you get all pouty and squeeze around him when he denies you your orgasm is just something he can never get tired of. but eventually he'll let you cum and it's always the best orgasm ever.
he was thrusting into you in the perfect rhythm when you felt the familiar knot forming inside your belly, but just when the knot was about to release, he stopped. instead he immediately pressed his lips against your chest, kissing you around your boobs. "i know baby, i know... i'll give you what you want but god- when you squeeze around me like this, i can't help myself."
⤡ Draco - daddy kink
draco has big daddy issues so many of you could say that he'd hate being called daddy but he actually loves it. it makes him feel good, powerful and in control which he never was while being back home so... when you started calling him like this, he didn't let you stop. he sees you as his blessing and he wants to protect you with everything he has, like a good daddy should protect his precious baby.
"you're such a good girl for daddy, princess..." draco huffed while he was buried deep inside you. his hands were pressing your knees to your chest which made you ass go little up, letting him hit the perfect spot inside you. "yes, tell me who's your daddy? mhmf-..." he continues while you're mumbling under him. he loves when those sweet words leave your pretty mouth, it almost always makes him cum in seconds.
⤡ Blaise - bondage
blaise loves seeing how your flesh presses under the bondage, making your thighs and boobs look even more soft and squishy than they already are. he either bondages your whole body or only ankles and wrists so you can't move, but he loves both equaly. he always takes his time when he's wrapping the rope around your body but he also always makes sure that everything he does is comfortable to you, it could be dangerous for you and he doesn't wanna hurt you.
"you feelin' good, babe?" he speaks while his long fingers are brushing over your inner thighs, his eyes basically glued to the plush of them. he could feel his hard dick twitching in his boxers, leaving a small wet mark over the fabric so he quickly strokes himself before he continues. "you look so pretty like this, all just for me... take a deep breath, babe, just like this..."
⤡ Theodore - deep throat
there is nothing more theo loves more than when you are on your knees, your glassy looking up at him with tears falling down your cheeks while he hears how you are gagging on his dick. he doesn't care if you have good or bad gagging reflex, you can take it for him. if it's very serious and you just have to take a quick pause, he'll let you rest for like 30s before pushing you down on his dick again, this time little deeper than before. and when you let him cum into your mouth, you got yourself "bonus" orgasm.
"ngh- fuck baby-... your tongue feels so good around me, mhmm..." he hums while his head falls down between his shoulder blades with his fingers being tangled in your hair, pushing your head lower on his dick. his groans and moans are non-stopping while he can feel himself getting closer and closer. when he looks down at you and sees your pretty, bambi eyes already staring at him, he can feel himself cum. "oh dio-... now swallow for me, amore."
⤡ Tom - choking
choking makes feel tom in control, in control of your life while he brings you the best pleasure of your life. he can feel your pulse point under his thumb while you make this incredibly fuckable face, it drives him wild and incredibly horny. he can feel your heartbeat while he also makes you feel so good, it makes him feel powerful and he's hungry for power, any kind of power. but he'd never let you pass out, that's a big no for him.
he thrusted inside and out of you, mercilessly, while he had his hand firmly wrapped around you neck, perfectly feeling how was your heart beating through your pulse point. "oh are you about to cum? yeah, cum for me, my love..." he growled when his grip got tighter, making your eyes close in pleasure. you were still moaning under him which made him go little faster. with all of this, he came as well.
⤡ Hermione - thigh riding
hermione loves when she can multitask, it's somehow comforting to her. so one time when you found her in the library, learning for some up coming test, writing into her books; you sat on her thigh, wanting to distract her, she was hooked. she loved the feeling of you on her thigh, pleasuring yourself while she could write some notes into her textbook. from that time, she loved it and she often pulls you onto her lap with her thigh in perfect position for your pussy.
she wrote the last words into her book before her hands grabbed your hips, making you move faster, making your pussy spread over her thigh. "mhm you feel good like this? yes, you do? oh i know... come on, little faster." she mumbled into your ear, kissing you all the way down to your neck while her nails dug into your soft hips making you moan.
⤡ Pansy - face-sitting
pansy is literally obsessed with your pussy and all the noises you make when her tongue is buried deep inside you. she loves to explore all your folds because every time her tongue presses against a new spot, you squeeze your thighs around her head which makes her rub her thighs against each other. her eyes are glued on you the whole time while she presses her nose against your clit.
"mhmh come on-..." she quickly mumbles before she pushes your hips more onto her mouth while her tongue pushes deep inside you. her hands helped your hips slowly move back and forth while her tongue was licking each of your folds, swallowing each of your juice that she got on her tongue. your moans filled her ears and she could see you were getting closer which made her tongue work even faster.
#sivyera's masterlist#sivyera masterlist#sivyera#x reader#sivyera update#sivyera's writing#x fem!reader#x fem reader#harry potter#harry potter x reader#harry potter x reader smut#ron weasley#ron weasley x reader#ron weasley x reader smut#harry potter smut#ron weasley smut#cedric diggory#cedric diggory x reader#cedric diggory x reader smut#cedric diggory smut#fred weasley#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley x reader smut#fred weasley smut#george weasley#george weasley x reader#george weasley x reader smut#george weasley smut#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy x reader smut
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NaNoWriMo has me working on a space opera Omegaverse story and I am still sorting out the title.
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Lessons in Love
(Or why Enzo should be banned from advanced potion making)
Theodore Nott x Ravenclaw Reader
Summary: Ft. Enzo being bad at potions, the Ravenclaw common room door, and more than one accidental love confession.
word count: 3.3k
ÂŠď¸ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.
A deep sigh escapes your lips as you walk purposefully through the empty halls of the castle. You loved Enzo. Really, you did. But how that bastard had managed to squeeze enough O.W.Ls out of his arse to get into advanced potion making was absolutely beyond you.
Itâs not that you thought your childhood best friend was dumb per se. You simply thought his talents lay elsewhere. Like in herbology. Or anywhere really where adding a pinch too much powdered moonstone didnât result in a glittery pink potion exploding all over the front of your robes. This never would have happened of course, if your usual, equally talented, potions partner, Theodore Nott, had actually bothered to show up, but god only knew where that boy had wandered off to.
Walking into classes earlier that day you had been giddy with excitement. While potions may not have been Enzoâs forte, it was most definitely yours and advanced potions was finally giving you the challenge you had been craving. Amortentia, your professor had said, is the strongest love potion in the world, thereby making it exceptionally difficult to brew. You already knew this of course as it had all been detailed in the days readings. Not only would it make someone obsessively in love, but it also had an addictive scent, changing to fit what one was most attracted to. Now that was all well and good until one was covered in it.
Originally, you figured that all would be fine. Enzo profusely apologized, quickly following up with a joke about how âat least youâll smell nice for once.â But oh how right heâd been. It started with students accidentally bumping into you in the corridor as you went from class to class as they subconsciously leaned in to follow the alluring scent. A minor inconvenience you thought. (Although you did have to choose to ignore that third year almost getting impaled on a statueâs sword because he wasnât paying attention after you passed.)
But then Cho and Marietta couldnât stop leaning in to get a whiff of the scent all throughout the start of charms, causing Flitwick to continuously shoot concerned glances at the three of you. You eventually caved, moving quickly and silently to the back of the class room where Enzo was sat with the rest of the Slytherins. As soon as he saw you making your way over, he leaned over, whispering something in Daphneâs ear beside him. She gives you a quick look of knowing pity before moving into the empty seats usually claimed by Theodore and Matteo who were, unsurprisingly, still no where to be found.
âFor what itâs worth, I really am sorry,â Enzo mumbles, at least having the decency to look embarrassed as you plop into the seat beside him.
âThis is horrible! I did not need to know that Mariettaâs amortentia smells like bloody Cormac McLaggen or whatever his name is,â you hiss in response.
Enzo lets out a quiet chuckle, sneaking a quick glance at your house mate.
âHey,â he whispers after a moment, âWhat do you smell anyway? You must be going mad having that stuff all over you.â
You shoot a glare at your friend. You had a sinking feeling he already knew, considering he had been poking fun at you for weeks. You shudder remembering all those disgusting kissy faces Enzo had been making at you from across the library just last week. Bloody bastard was fishing for confirmation. Maybe if you ignore him, heâll simply go away you think to yourself. Enzo however, takes your silence as an admission of guilt, a grin spreading across his face.
âI knew it. So tell me y/n, what does dear Theodore Nott smell like? Cigarette smoke? Hippogriff dung?â He snickers.
âHe is my best friend, Lorenzo,â you whisper, giving the boy beside you another withering glare.
Enzoâs face falls at this.
âIâm your best friend.â He grumbles.
âI donât know why. Youâre mean to me,â you reply with exasperation.
He immediately perks up again at this, giving you a slight nudge.
âSo Iâm right? You do like Theo?â He asks excitedly.
âEnzo, I will avada you, and make it look like an accident,â you hiss in response.
âCome on, y/n, Iâm your best friend, you have to tell me these things,â he pouts.
âOh really? Like how you have to tell me about how youâre probably smelling Daphneâs shampoo right now? Or is it her lavender perfume?â You ask innocently, batting your lashes.
Enzo goes beet red at this, gesturing wildly at you to lower your voice.
âHush woman! Sheâs right there!â He hisses.
You say nothing, only giving him a triumphant grin before turning back to Flitwick to try to salvage what few notes youâd been able to take down that lesson.
The final straw occurred during ancient runes when poor, unsuspecting Hermione sat down behind you and asked with a look of bewilderment if you had been showered with Dracoâs cologne that morning. Her look of absolute horror only grew as you told her of your distressing situation. You thought she might faint when she realized that Draco had been within earshot and now had a shit eating grin on his face. With a sigh of defeat, you give Hermione an apologetic smile before deciding it was time to turn in the white flag of defeat.
You breathe a heavy sigh of relief as you finally come to a stop outside your common room door. You then frown, realizing you had in fact, made it to your common room door.
âWhat makes a raven like a writing desk?â The metallic voice of the Ravenclaw common room door asks, springing to life.
This putrid, skanky little-
âYou wouldnât want me to shove either of them up your ars-â
A low whistle catches your attention before youâre able to finish cursing out your common roomâs door thoroughly.
âWhoa there feisty, let the eagle be,â Theoâs voice laughs as he steps into view.
The strong scent of roasted coffee beans and smoke that had been burning your nostrils all day hits you once again like a ton of bricks. Giving the eagle another withering glare, you turn your full attention to the looming threat approaching. You would sooner throw yourself off of the astronomy tower than let Theo know that your amortentia smelled like him. Someone had to keep the boyâs bloody ego in check.
âFull offense Theodore, Iâve had a horrendously awful day today, and I really donât have time for whatever nonsense youâre about to start.â You say with a roll of your eyes as you cross your arms at the boy in front of you.
Theo laughs again, mirroring your movements as he leans against one of the pillars lining the halls.
âPoor principessa. Have a hard day in classes without me?â He asks with a smirk.
You scowl in response. It didnât help that you had, in fact, missed the brunetteâs comforting, albeit annoying, presence all day, but you werenât about to admit that.
âNow that you mention it, I didnât even realize you were missing. What snake hole did you slither off to today?â You ask, the lie sliding easily off your lips.
Theo cocks as eyebrow at that but leaves it be.
âMatteo wanted to ditch, had to baby sit. Make sure he didnât get into too much trouble. You know how it goes,â Theo replied shrugging his shoulders. âAnd whatâs a pretty little witch like yourself doing skiving off class?â
Theo takes another step forward.
âDonât come closer!â You yelp before you can stop yourself. You had no interest knowing what Theo would smell if he got close enough. He frowns at you however.
âAnd why not?â He challenges, taking another step towards you. This boy really did not take well to being told what to do.
âI- I smell. Really bad. Had to leave class, I just- ya know, smelled, so badâ You splutter, mentally kicking yourself. Who says that in front of the guy they like? Why were you like this?
Theoâs thick brows shoot up at your declaration before he takes a final large step towards you and leans in, pressing his hand against your forehead before moving it down to feel your cheek.
âY/n are you ill? Do you need to go see Madam Pomfrey? I can walk you there if youâd like.â He says, any bit of snark his voice previously held long gone.
âIâm fine Theodore, really.â you say, batting his hand away.
âAre you sure?â He asks, looking at you disbelievingly.
He leans in again and takes in a whiff of your scent and you immediately tense, freezing where you are. God damn it. His brows furrow.
âY/n, you smell perfectly normal, maybe a bit stronger than usual, but definitely not bad.â He says, looking even more confused.
Before youâre able to fully process the words that just came out of Theoâs mouth, Enzo and Pansy come barreling down the hall towards the two of you in a fit of giggles.
âY/n! y/n, you know Iâm sorry, really I am, but if dousing you in amortentia is all it takes to get Draco and Granger to make complete fools of themselves in front of each other, Iâd do it again!â Enzo exclaims between breathy laughs. âYou havenât seen ferret boy run past, by chance, by the way have you?
âSorry, amor-what now?â Theo asks, blinking as he purses his lips.
You look between the three of your friends in alarm, praying no one mentioned anything after Theo had just announced that you smelled perfectly normal to him.
âOh, youâre going to wish you were there! After you left, Draco was so pleased with himself. Looked like a kid on Christmas. Kept trying to flirt with Hermione until she finally sent a flock of doves to run him out of the classroom! Professor wasnât too happy bout that one. Let us go early to find the blonde loon,â Enzo says, completely ignoring Theoâs question.
âIâm sorry, amor-WHAT?â Theo asks again, louder this time.
You feel yourself cringe.
âAmortentia.â Pansy snorts. âDo try and keep up Teddy.â
âThis is what you get for always skiving off class with Matteo,â Enzo adds, nodding at the boy as if he were his disappointed mother.
âMhmm. Enzo totally floozied over y/nâs potion this morning. Blew it up all over her and sheâs been having people wander up to her to take a sniff all day.â Pansy tells him with a sniff.
Theo blinks again before slowly meeting your eyes as what he said only moments earlier begins to sink in. Pansy, ever the cunning witch, was lightening quick to catch on.
âSpeaking of which, I am suddenly so interested in what exactly it is that you smell, dearest Teddy,â Pansy says as her eyes flicker between the two of you, a mischievous grin growing on her face.
Theo scowls at the nickname.
âCampfire.â
âOld parchment.â You say in unison.
Pansy smirks.
âDo you smell that Enzo?â She asks, making a show of sniffing the air around her. âI think I smell- a liar. Or two.â
Enzo only snickers as he eyes the both of you up. He knew exactly what you had been smelling all day and you begin to feel panic rise up in your chest. You send a menacing glare his way, daring him to open his mouth.
âCome on Pans, I donât think Draco and Granger are the only ones whoâll be chatting up tonight,â he says finally.
Glaring at the pairâs disappearing backs, you once again turn slowly back to the problem at hand.
âSoo,â Theo starts at the same time you blurt out,
âThis is entirely your fault.â
Theoâs mouth drops open, and he has the audacity to look offended.
âHow do you figure mi amore?â He asks.
âYouâre supposed to be my partner in potions, but you werenât there today, so I had to work with,â you shudder, âEnzo.â
Rolling his eyes at your dramatics and giving you a small smile, Theo lets himself relax, leaning on the wall as he towers over you.
âEnzo isnât so bad,â he says, slowly bringing a hand up to rest on your waist, gently moving you towards him. You pretend not to notice, taking a small, nervous step forward.
âHe singed off Matteoâs eyebrows last year. The year before that, he didnât realize there was a difference between fire flower and fired flour, and his potion melted through the floor. I heard a Puff call him Slytherinâs Seamus,â you retort. âDo you realize how bad you have to be at something to get made fun of by a Hufflepuff?â He snorts at that, cocking his head in agreement.
âWell Iâm sorry alright? Iâll make it up to you.â
âYouâll have to. I have to go in again to remake the potion. Donât want that bad mark on my grade.â
Theo only hums at this, as youâre finally standing nose to chest with him, forcing you to tilt your head up to still see his face.
âYou really do smell nice,â he murmurs, pressing his nose lightly into your hair.
You make a face before nuzzling into his chest to hide the redness growing on your cheeks.
âIâm not talking about this in public. I simply refuse,â you say, trying to melt into him from pure embarrassment.
Theo looks down at you with a devilishly handsome grin before turning back to your long forgotten common room door.
âHey, open up. She technically answered your little riddle earlier,â he tells the door.
The eagle grumbles something unintelligible as it starts to life again.
âI can always melt you down. Iâm sure youâd make a great piss pot,â Theo threatens, going to pull out his wand.
The door swings open rather violently and youâre pretty sure you can hear a rather colorful string of curses come out of the eagleâs beak as you make your way inside. Having been there a thousand times before, Theo easily leads you to your shared, but thankfully empty, dorm room, closing the door behind you.
âYou really donât get along with that eagle, do you principessa?â He asks, throwing his shoes off and making himself comfortable on your bed like he usually did.
âLike youâre any better. You just threatened to turn it into a chamber pot,â you retort, falling easily back into your usual banter. This was fine. This was safe.
Theo only raises a brow at you.
âThe blasted door is still mad at me for making a ur mum joke when it asked me if a chicken came before the egg in front of a bunch of second years.â You admit, letting your arms fall to your side.
Theo lets out a loud laugh at that shaking his head and extending his arm for you. You walk carefully towards the bed before hesitantly accepting his invitation. Itâs not that cuddling with Theo was something unfamiliar to you, as much as you were hyper aware of the slightly awkward tension between the two of you that wasnât usually there. You slide your shoes off as well before curling up next to him and laying your head on his chest. The two of you lay in silence and you slowly let your eyelids flutter shut, lost in the feeling of Theoâs chest rising and falling.
âYou know. You still havenât told me what your amortentia smells like,â Theo says, finally breaking the silence as he gently brings his hand up to run his fingers through your hair.
âTake a wild fucking guess,â you murmur, refusing to open your eyes and determined to get further lost in his warm touch.
He only hums in response, continuing to comb his fingers through the soft locks of hair.
âYou know when Enzo asked me if I smelled you today, he thought youâd smell like hippogriff dung,â you say eventually.
âFucking tosser. What did that git smell? Wild lavender?â
âAnd Daphneâs shampoo.â
You feel Theo snort as if he expected no less of your ever romantic best friend. Silence once again rolls over the both of you as you absentmindedly play with the edge of his shirt, rolling the soft fabric between your fingers nervously. The quiet begins to feel suffocating, so you open your mouth to speak, but Theo beats you to it.
âChampagne. And that perfume you always use. With the little white flowers. Lilies of the valley, right?â Theo says.
You open your eyes to look at him in confusion.
âThatâs what you smell like.â He says, carefully running his hand down your spine, sending a shiver through you.
âI smell roasted coffee. And smoke. Not the fire-y kind though. The kind that sticks to your clothes cause you refuse to quit smoking.â You respond, looking into his eyes warily for his reaction.
Theo only smirks in response, a cocky grin spreading across his face.
âAw mi amore, Iâm what youâre most attracted to?â He asks, the teasing bait evident in his voice.
You feel heat rise to your cheeks as Theo gazed intently down at you in his arms.
âShut up Theodore. You sure know how to ruin a moment,â you say, once again burying your face in a chest.
You feel his chest rumble with laughter before his hand snakes it way up to your chin, tilting your head up and capturing your lips with his. His lips are softer than you imagined as he moves them gently against yours. You let a soft gasp escape and Theo pulls you closer, gripping your waste tightly, and shifting you on top of him, deepening the kiss until youâre both left gasping for air.
âWas that more of what you had in mind amore?â He asks with an innocent smile, looking up at you with what you could only describe as his best baby seal eyes.
âI mean, you were definitely significantly more shirtless when I imagined it, but I can settle.â You joke.
Theoâs eyes darken however, and he lifts you as if you weigh nothing, flipping you over so that he now hovered above you, your back pinned against the bed beneath you. With one swift movement, Theo pulls his shirt up and over his head before lowering himself back down, his chest now pressed against yours.
âBetter?â
You canât help but laugh at the boyâs determination as your eyes shamelessly take in the lean muscle and tanned skin that was current above you.
âTheodore, as much as I enjoy this, you have to put your clothes on. Cho or Marietta could walk in at any time,â you tell him as you begin to make soft circles across his waist line with your thumbs, admiring the boy in front of you.
âMm. You mouth is saying one thing, but these,â he says, placing his hands over yours, âare saying something else entirely.â
You roll your eyes, pulling your hands out from under his and handing him his discarded shirt.
âOne kiss?â He asks, looking at the shirt as if it had mortally offended him.
âOne kiss.â
He leans down, once again capturing your lips with his, but with more intensity this time. You feel one of his hands brush your waist as his thumb pushes up under your shirt, the rest of his hand following soon after, gripping tightly at the warm skin beneath. You let out a breathy moan when he flicks his tongue across your bottom lip, and he takes it as an invitation to let his tongue explore the rest of your mouth.
An awkward cough shakes you from the haze and you look up, over Theoâs shoulder to see Cho standing guiltily in the doorway.
âSorry,â she says, looking literally anywhere but you and the shirtless boy above you. âBad time?â
You cover your eyes in embarrassment, feeling heat once again rush to your cheeks.
âWhat did I tell you!â You groan, letting your head fall back onto your mound of pillows. Meanwhile Theo has a much too self satisfied grin across his face.
#harry potter universe#harry potter#slytherin boys#slytherin#ravenclaw#lorenzo berkshire#theodore nott#draco malfoy#matteo riddle#daphne greengrass#pansy parkinson#fanfic#harry potter fanfiction#theodore nott x reader#how do you write in 2nd person#theo nott#theo nott x reader#theo nott x y/n#theodore nott x y/n
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No matter how many Dramione stories I read, the shift from 'Granger' to 'Hermione' and from 'Malfoy' to 'Draco' does inexplicable things to my heart. every. fucking. time.
#dramione fanfiction#Dramione#draco x hermione#draco malfoy#hermione granger#fanfiction#writing#fanfics#tropes#quotes
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How my favorite Slytherin boys react to you passing out.
Warning: Hogwarts legacy to Harry Potter
Ft. Sebastian Sallow, Ominis Gaunt, Tom Riddle, Mattheo Riddle, Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Lorenzo Berkshire.
Sebastian Sallow
âI think Iâm gonna pass out.â
âPlease donâ BLIMEY!â
Immediately catches you a little and takes you to the hospital wing. Heâs definitely most worried about you since he was scared in the back of his mind that you might have been cursed like his twin sister during an adventure.
After he found out it was cause you hadnât eaten, heâs shoving some honeyduke sweets down your throat and meals. 3 meals per day is what heâs making sure you are eating before another adventure starts.
Ominis Gaunt
You havenât slept much, all these adventures sure were wreaking your body. You came in the common room to rest on the couch. Not noticing that a certain gaunt had sense you, you passed out before getting to the damned couch.
He sensed you passed out and he started to feel scared. He was put away his wand and started to feel you on the floor. And when he finally got the touch of your arm, he gripped it and pulled you towards him. Setting your head in his lap as he was praying to anything, anyone for you to wake up.
So when you woke up he felt relieved but asked you to go see the nurses when you felt like you could walk.
After finding out you havenât been getting sleep from the trials and adventures you have been going through with Sebastian.
He gave the poor sallow boy an earful of a scolding.
Mattheo Riddle
You passed out due to overheating yourself. You were studying day and night. Of course your beloved riddle was concern, so he comes into your room. When you seen him and tried to stand up, thatâs when you fell like an animated cartoon.
Mattheo thought you tripped on yourself, but when you didnât move he got worried and checked you out.
As he felt your head was burning, he unbutton your shirt and ran to the bathroom to get a cold towel. Putting it in your forehead, he waited.
Waking up to see mattheo was sure a shocker since you wouldâve thought he mightâve took you to the hospital wing.
Theodore Nott
He caught you when he noticed you had gotten âdizzyâ is what you said in the morning.
He knew something was off when you kept looking spaced out. So when he caught your body that was going to hit the floor, he took you to the medic wing and let the head nurse treat you.
He visits often, telling you about the classes and slight drama. And after you still recover and leave the wing, heâs treating you like you will break.
And now you got a overprotective Theodore on your side
Lorenzo Berkshire
Panic mode actived
Poor baby let out a scream which alerted a professor over and took you to the medic wing
He was anxious waiting for news on when you can be release and how the blazes did to pass out.
You passed out because you forgot to ate for the 2nd time. Prepare for this Slytherin boy to put a lot of food on your plate for weeks.
#sebastian sallow#deadghosy writesđŚ#Hogwarts legacy x Harry Potter#slytherin boys#slytherin boys imagine#slytherin boys x you#slytherin boys react#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#lorenzo berkshire#lorenzo berkshire x reader#Tom riddle#tom riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x reader#draco malfoy#Draco malfoy x reader#sebastian sallow x reader#Hogwarts legacy x reader#Harry Potter x you#ominis gaunt#ominis gaunt x reader
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Fic claim: Mirror, Me (E, 18.3k)
Read on AO3
Written for @hd-tarot fest. Thanks to the mods for all their amazing work!
@kk1smet made this incredible art. It burrowed into my brain and wouldn't leave so i had to write it down.
Tags:
EWE, Post-War, POV Harry Potter, Down and Out Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, Depression, Panic Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, Belonging, Sentient Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Invisibility Cloak, Stalking, Non-consensual Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Under-negotiated Kink, Polyjuice Potion, Explicit Sexual Content
Snippet:
âPetrificus Totalus.â Harryâs limbs go rigid and snap together as he keels over, face first onto weeds and patchy, wet grass. His nose and chin hit the packed dirt with a painful crunch. Though his shout of surprise is stuck in his throat, the sound of his body hitting the ground echoes in his ears. A hand grabs at the cloak and pulls hard. Then, heâs on his back, Draco Malfoy standing over him. âWell now, this is familiar,â Malfoy says, a smirk pulling at his mouth. He crouches down at Harryâs side, pulling at his hair so that Harry's head is angled to face him. âHarry Potter.â His voice is low and drawling and it scuttles over Harryâs skin. âIâm simply dying to know what you're doing here.â Harryâs current predicament is, he can admit, rather dire. Being caught stalking aside, he thinks his nose might be broken. Humiliation licks up his rigid spine, but along with it is a prickle of ill-advised anticipation, a foolish thrill at what Malfoy might do. âYouâve been following me for a while now, havenât you? I thought I could hearââ Malfoy cuts himself off. Harry hardly registers what Malfoy is saying, caught up in the opportunity to finally look at him up close. Malfoy laughs and the sound crawls up over Harry, gets under his nails. âMerlin you are such a little creep, arenât you, Harry?â Harry's sure a violent flush must be blooming across his face, not only at the insult but at his bodyâs reaction to the words, his cock twitching traitorously.
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For QuietShadow: FF7, Mistaken for a sex worker
âArenât you a little overdressed?âÂ
At first, Vincent doesnât realize the stranger is talking to him. Why would he? Vincent has kept to this quiet, shaded corner for hours without being disturbed. With everything to do in Costa del Sol, why would anyone notice him? Or care?
Vincent lifts his chin and peers at the obvious tourist dressed in khakis and a bright floral print. Thereâs even a camera hanging around his neck. âI donât swim.âÂ
âNo, I mean, obviously youâre not on the beach.â The tourist coughs into his hand and stares somewhere over Vincentâs left shoulder, which is a wall, and not interesting enough to stare at. âI meant, you know, shouldnât you advertise the goods?âÂ
âIâm not a shopkeeper,â Vincent says, his brow furrowing. âI have nothing for sale.âÂ
The touristâs red face gets even redder. He should probably drink some water instead of another over-priced fruity cocktail. âOh. Are you already spoken for? My mistake.â He coughs and tugs at his collar. âMaybe next timeâŚ? Can I do that? Make a reservation?âÂ
Vincent stares at him. âWhat?âÂ
âYeah, youâre right. Thatâs dumb.â The tourist scratches his bald head and makes a sort of helpless, resigned laugh. âBetter luck next time, Dwayne.âÂ
âDwayneâ wanders off before Vincent can parse what in the world heâs babbling about. He glances at the two men loitering a little further down the way, leaning against the rail with their chiseled bodies gleaming in the sunlight as if they might have an answer, but they have been doing a great job ignoring him.Â
âDwayneâ was probably drunk.Â
Vincent doesnât think anymore about it until it happens again, this time in the shanty prison town beneath Gold Saucer.Â
Itâs hot and dry, necessitating that Vincent spend as much time in the shade as he possibly can. He doesnât know what business Cloud has here, and frankly, he doesnât care. But the sooner they leave to go after Sephiroth, the better.Â
Thereâs a group of young women loitering nearby, scantily clad and chatting as they pass a single cigarette around. They ignore Vincent; he ignores them. Itâs a mutually beneficial arrangement.Â
Vincent passes the time in a meditative state, always fully aware of his surroundings, but calm enough to quell the beast within. Cloud and the others may enjoy running around, but Vincent prefers to conserve his energy.Â
âHow much?âÂ
The question is practically sneered, and again, Vincent isnât sure itâs directed at him until he lifts his head to see a heavily tattooed woman staring him down. He has to look up at her, and itâs a bit unsettling.Â
âFor what?â he asks. And though he does not reach for his gun, he shifts his weight to make it more visible on his hip.Â
âYou,â she snaps, like heâs an idiot for not bowing before her.Â
âWhat?â Vincent is, once again, confused.Â
The trio of young women who had been loitering nearby break off into giggles and whispers to each other.Â
âIâm not paying more than fifty gil,â says the tall woman, her biceps thicker than Barretâs thighs. She could snap him like a twig, were he not the end-result of one of Hojoâs vile experiments. âCanât tell what youâre hiding under all those layers.âÂ
Vincent stares. âItâs no business of yours.âÂ
The giggles erupt into tittering laughs.Â
The tall woman looks down at him, as utterly bewildered as Vincent himself seems to be. âThen why the fuck are you standing here?âÂ
Vincent squints. âTo pass the timeâŚ?âÂ
âGive up, Dora!â one of the scantily-clad young ladies shouts. âAinât no fresh meat here for you.âÂ
âTsch.â Dora spits at the ground near Vincentâs boots and lumbers off, but not before them all a middle-finger of a salute.Â
The shortest of the three young woman, with bouncy red curls and a button hanging on for dear life, saunters over, popping gum. âWe donât care what you do so long as you donât steal our regulars, yeah? Itâs hard enough earninâ a livinâ out here.âÂ
Vincent blinks. One plus one add together in his head. Details become clear. Conversation starts to reorient itself around an obvious point that heâs somehow missed, and a deep embarrassment takes root in his chest.Â
âMy apologies,â he says, and flees with whatâs left of his dignity.Â
Highwind, of course, finds it hysterical.Â
âYou didnât notice?â he guffaws, head tipped back, laughter echoing around the Tiny Broncoâs interior.Â
Vincent burrows deeper into his cloak. It hides the stain in his cheeks. Back in his day, sex workers were more discreet. They didnât loiter in out of way corners that somehow everyone knew was the place to go to find comfort for the night.
âHow much would you charge anyway?â Cid asks.Â
Vincent rolls his eyes. âMore than you could ever afford, Highwind.âÂ
Cid snorts a laugh and dives back into the Tiny Broncoâs innards with a clatter of wrench on metal, certain he can wrest a bit more speed out of the makeshift repairs.Â
Vincent sighs.Â
From now on, heâll wait by the plane.Â
***
a/n: This is dumb, I know. I'm sorry, but the idea wouldn't leave me alone! Vincent's always lurking somewhere in a town after he joins your group, and it was a cute game of Where's Vincent? But what if...? XD
anyway, feel free to comment/like/reply/reblog, etc
#FF7 rebirth#vincent valentine#cid highwind#no spoilers#sfw text#flash fiction fills#draco writes#unedited fic#author's questionable attempt at humor
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dw spotify and ao3 have my mental health on lock
#ao3#ao3 fanfic#writing#writers on tumblr#drarry#harry potter#marauders#wolfstar#draco malfoy#reddie#steddie#stranger things#bisexual#gay#lesbian#trans#lgbt#fic#one direction#larry#jegulus#dramione#heartstopper#stucky#stony#marvel mcu#destiel
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lucky i love you â° m. riddle
summary: you and matthĂŠo had an argument the night before, and he still hasnât apologized.
pairing: bf!matthĂŠo riddle x reader
warnings: hmmm maybe slightly toxic matthĂŠo?? lowkey?? idk yâall can decide for yourselves!! slight angst, nothing else really??
note: okay i donât love the ending but i still think itâs cute so iâm posting anyway!!! iâm such a sucker for slightly toxic matthĂŠo whoâs soft for u and u only :â)
masterlist
reblogs & comments are so appreciated! <3
â° â° â°
âis there a reason youâre not talking to me?â
you startle softly at the sound of matthĂŠoâs voice. youâd been intently ignoring him since he found you in the library, still quietly hurt about what heâd said the night before.
every inch of you longs to give in - you were never very good at staying mad at him - but you stubbornly refuse to move a muscle, lips turned downwards in a barely-there pout. you flick your eyes upwards, but only for a moment, offering him a shrug.
matthĂŠo sighs in this defeated way that tugs at your heart. âi canât make things better if you donât tell me what iâve done wrong, sweetheart.â
itâs your turn to sigh. when you look back up, you let your gaze linger - far past the point of caring if matthĂŠo sees the stubborn little tears that pool in your waterline. âyou should know what you did wrong, thĂŠo. i shouldnât have to tell you.â
heâs silent for a few moments, before a look of understanding settles on his handsome features. âare you still upset about last night?â
another shrug. you canât bring yourself to respond. you want him, no - you need him to piece it together for himself.
suddenly, matthĂŠoâs chair scrapes loudly against the floor. heâs behind you in a few quick steps, and then youâre gasping sharply as he drags your chair away from the table. âmatthĂŠo! what are you-â he spins the chair suddenly towards himself, before crouching on the ground at your feet.
âdarling - iâm sorry.â his hands find your thighs, fingers gripping firmly at the soft flesh as he looks up at you. âiâm sorry for being an arse, and iâm sorry for not apologizing sooner.â his thumbs trace absentminded circles into your skin as he speaks. âyou havenât done anything wrong - merlin, i donât think you could ever do anything wrong - and iâm sorry for treating you the way i did.â
you open your mouth once, twice - trying to respond - but you canât seem to find the right words. a lone little tear rolls slowly down your cheek, and matthĂŠoâs quick to swipe it away with his thumb. with a sad little smile, and a softness in his eyes that seems to be reserved for you alone, he continues. âi know iâm not good at⌠at this - at being a boyfriend - but i am trying. and i promise that iâll get it right it eventually.â
youâre silent for a few moments, but your lips tug upwards in a fond little grin you canât seem to suppress. with a shake of your head, you place your hands on either side of matthĂŠoâs face, leaning down to kiss him softly. âyou are so lucky i love you, riddle.â your words are murmured softly against his lips, but you feel his smile and know he hears you.
âi knowâ
#ageofstarkey writing <3#ageofstarkey harry potter <3#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle blurb#mattheo riddle fluff#mattheo riddle angst#mattheo riddle imagine#mattheo riddle fanfic#harry potter fanfic#slytherin boys fanfic#slytherin boys blurb#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin boys#mattheo riddle#draco malfoy#slytherin boys fanfiction#mattheo riddle fanfiction#harry potter blurb#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter imagine#accepting requests#harry potter requests#slytherin boys requests
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HOW YOUR LOVE LOOKS LIKE WITH THEM - SLYTHERIN BOYS
THEODORE NOTT:
MATTHEO RIDDLE:
LORENZO BERKSHIRE:
DRACO MALFOY:
BLAISE ZABINI:
TOM RIDDLE:
taglist: @sunkissedscribbles @kandis-mom @idkkkkkkk123lgb @nottslvttt
im alive btw
#kiara writes#kiaraâs fics#kiâs husband#theodore nott#slytherin boys#lorenzo berkshire#slytherin#mattheo riddle#draco malfoy#blaise zabini#tom riddle#slytherin boys aesthetic#theodore nott aesthetic#slytherin boys love#couple aesthetic#hp fanfcition#hp aesthetic#hp universe#slytherin boys fanfiction#kiâs slytherin boys
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Downhill
Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader
Iâve never spent a moment loving anyone but you.
And maybe thatâs just something people say - but I hope itâs the truth.
Summary:
Draco knows his place in the world. He is a Malfoy, he is Pureblood. He is supposed to marry, carry on the Pureblood line. He is supposed to do everything that his parents would - including killing, if it's what his Dark Lord wishes.
Draco Malfoy is not supposed to hesitate. He is not supposed to feel fear. He is not supposed to have room in his heart for fondness, or even love. Not even when it comes to his bartered and bought fellow Pureblood fiancee.
Love is nothing but a weakness. And Malfoys are not weak.
Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader. Arranged Marriage/Hesitant Lovers. Emotional Angst and Smut. Set during Half-Blood Prince.
Word Count: 20,100
Harry Potter Masterlist | AO3 Link
This is meant to be a standalone oneshot, but it was written as a prequel to the fic My Bleeding Heart. Because the other fic is chronologically second, you won't be missing anything if you read this one first, but if you have read it before, then this one ties in nicely and informs more of the emotions between the characters.
Full list of warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: this fic is equal parts smut and emotional angst; this fic does technically take place around Christmas (with the Slug Club Christmas Party being the biggest signal of that), but Christmas is not a huge overarching theme or presence in the fic if you don't celebrate or don't like Christmas; the reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina; implications of the reader being fat/plus-sized (which happens with a lot of my fics); it is mentioned that the reader is wearing a dress and high heels to the party; the reader is a Slytherin; the reader is a Pureblood (and for the sake of the fic, I made up a random 'important' Pureblood family that she is from, but because she wasn't raised by them, she goes by a difference surname that can just be your literal actual surname); the reader is an orphan and never actually knew her Pureblood parents; this fic DOES use Y/N; the reader is called 'brilliant' and comes off as very intelligent and skilled with magic (skilled enough to get into the Slug Club); Draco and the reader are in an arranged marriage for the sake of carrying on the Pureblood lineage, and it is discussed that the reader was 'bought' for Draco (a very large dowry was paid) (during the course of the fic, they are only engaged and not yet married); most of this is written from Draco's perspective and features self loathing, emotionally stunted Draco; jealous!Draco - Draco hears that the reader was talking to Harry and gets upset; mentions of the reader being left to the Malfoys by a neglectful godmother; I know there is debate about whether it's canon or not, but in this fic Draco's parents are abusive toward him - his father much more so and his mother is more of a neglectful bystander, and there is a lot of themes in this fic about Draco's trauma surrounding that and how he starts taking his first steps to break free from his abusers (this fic implies that Draco has been physically and emotionally abused by his father, as well as being severely emotionally neglected by both his parents); the reader character in this fic is also abused by the Malfoys when living with them - including an incident where she is hit by Lucius Malfoy and has her hand smashed into broken glass; an incident is described where Lucius casts a spell that chokes Draco (briefly) with the intention of physically punishing him, and the reader stops the spell; Lucius calls the reader 'slut' and 'whore' as insults; mentions of house elves and elf 'slavery' (feels like a warning I'm putting in here specifically for Hermione but I know people get upset about this stuff now lmao); descriptions of dead animals - a bird is killed while being transported through the not yet working Vanishing Cabinet; mentions of canon deaths (Cedric Diggory); mentions of 'Death Eater culture' - discrimination, violence against muggleborns, blood purity, etc.; discussion of Draco's mission to kill Dumbledore (and his mission to help the Death Eaters break into Hogwarts) and the stress that it causes him.
In his internal narration, Draco calls the reader 'naive' and 'innocent', but this is not a statement about the reader's level of sexual or romantic experience (the reader character is NOT A VIRGIN in this), this is a statement about the reader's level of experience with violence and death (and how Draco feels a need to protect her from being corrupted by the dark forces in his life); Draco grabs the reader's arm (in a slightly painful way, while arguing) - but they don't have a major physical confrontation and it does not escalate (their relationship has slightly toxic vibes, but they are forced to depend on each other); mention of Draco being 'thin'/losing weight due to not eating properly (due to the stress of a life or death mission hanging over his head); for the actual smut section - Draco has a kink for the reader wearing stockings/tights (don't ask me where I got this idea from, it just feels like it would fit Draco really well); the tone of the whole thing is very sweet, affectionate, passionate love-making; Draco calls the reader 'darling' and 'love'; oral - reader receiving; Draco fingers the reader while eating her out; a lot of passionate kissing and body worshipping (towards the reader); multiple orgasms/overstimulation (reader receiving); squirting (not played up as a major kink, but it does happen); Draco is anti-breeding kink (I know this is a new one, but try to stick with me) - Draco knows that the only reason for their engagement is to carry on the family blood like (to breed) and he is against that (because it means carrying out his parents' wishes and putting the reader in danger) so he refuses to fuck her because he doesn't want to get her pregnant, because he thinks that it will be cursing her with an attachment to him and he still wants to give her a chance to bail, so he specifically avoids PIV sex for this reason; the ending of the fic has some slightly dubious consent - because Draco starts thinking about the fate of the arranged marriage and feels self loathing but continues with the encounter anyway (he is romantically and sexually attracted to the reader, and there is no force, and the reader is enthusiastic about her consent the whole time, but Draco starts to withdraw his consent and is slightly unsure - it's adult and realistic and complicated); Draco masturbates while sitting on top of the reader to avoid having sex with the reader (in a way, this could be considered 'forced orgasm' because Draco is having a lot of complicated emotions and literally forces himself to orgasm to end the sexual situation); Draco cums on the reader's thighs; Draco cries after sex because of all his complicated emotions; Draco and the reader do talk about their feelings and (mostly) work things out; the ending skews toward light-hearted/sappy.
A/N: This fic is titled after the song Downhill by Lincoln - and I actually had a really hard time choosing which lyrics to go at the top, because I genuinely believe that all the lyrics from the song are so, so fitting here. So I do highly encourage you to go and listen to the song while you read this!! I actually started writing this fic many months ago when the idea came to me, and I got stalled on it, and then I randomly got inspired to finish it around mid-October, but I wanted to wait to post it until it was closer to Christmas because it is so rare for me to have a seasonally accurate fic on my hands so I actually wanted to post it during the seasonally accurate time lmao. I had a lot of fun writing this and exploring the relationship between these two characters, and I do want to write more for them in the future - especially because I am obsessed with the arranged marriage concept. (I feel like I need to write more fics with different characters that use arranged marriage as a trope because writing this just showed me how much fun it is.) Anyway, for now, I hope you enjoy this, and please let me know what you think of it in the comments.
...
Moving from the bustling atmosphere of the Slug Club Christmas Party into the cold, empty corridor was certainly a drastic shift.
It felt like stepping through a curtain that drained all happiness from you, even if that happiness was only temporary, feigned, and fueled by the jovial holiday atmosphere rather than coming from anywhere true inside of you. It was a show you had put on for the sake of the social occasion. As an automatic response, you felt the fake smile fall from your face as the last murmurs of the guests and the last echoes of Christmas music disappeared faintly behind you. You were then fully flipped from the warm, welcoming environment of the party to the cold shell that was Hogwarts in the dead of winter as the cool air coming off the stone kissed against your skin.Â
You couldnât resist the need to hug yourself in order to cover up your bare arms, sharp gooseflesh already forming there. Such an occasion insisted upon something showy rather than practical, and with the December weather, you were finding it chilly.Â
As you walked a few steps down from the entrance to the party, you found that a certain cloud of darkness began to consume you - even with the Christmas trees glistening brightly at either end, reminding you of the supposedly cheerful season.Â
You walked toward Draco, where he was waiting for you, just as Snape had promised when he had come up behind you like a looming storm cloud and pulled you away so suddenly, so rudely from the rousing conversation you were having with Harry and Slughorn. But you had to turn your mind off from any showmanship that you had been forced to put into those conversations, and turn your mind onto something else now - someone else.Â
Draco had his hands stuffed into the pockets of his expensive suit, a stiff posture that could be seen even through the matching, all black attire. He was pacing along the mouth of the hallway rather frantically, threatening to wear holes in the soles of his custom leather shoes, muttering under his breath to himself.Â
So far, this was the worst you had ever seen him. And that worried you greatly.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â You asked, the question naturally on your tongue.Â
The sound of your voice in the otherwise empty corridor pulled Dracoâs eyes up from the floor, snapping his attention toward you in a way that stopped his pacing in an instant, causing his posture to stiffen up tall as he turned toward you. It was an ingrained instinct - facing someone, giving them your attention when they spoke. Well trained unconscious physical etiquette whipped into a boy who was often very rude and careless with his words.Â
For a moment, his fist tightened in his pocket, and you knew that he was clutching on his wand instinctively, his eyes flickering around, looking for an intruder - so perhaps, not entirely ingrained etiquette. Perhaps quite a lot of unconscious physical panic living within those muscles as well. Fight or flight instincts that never got a chance to turn off.Â
When his eyes fell on you, recognition flooded his features, and his stiffness relaxed - even if only slightly.Â
âDraco, what is it? Why did you pull me out of the party?â You prodded further, your curiosity growing into annoyance when he took too long to answer you.Â
âTrust me, I wouldnât have called you out here if it wasnât important.â Draco sighed, shifting from one foot to the other, not looking at you.Â
âWell isnât what Iâm doing supposed to be important too?â You snapped back.Â
Truthfully, you didnât care about your âmissionâ. You knew that there would be consequences for you if you failed - but at this point, you werenât all too afraid of being killed.Â
When Dracoâs parents had discovered that Slughorn was once again teaching at Hogwarts, they had sent you a letter asking to join his âClubâ, telling you to get close to him. They knew that because of your brilliance, he would already be interested in you joining - and he certainly was. But you had turned him down multiple times because you found it to be an annoyance, and you didnât want to have to worry about attending âclubâ meetings on top of everything else going on in your chaotic life.Â
Snape was the one who had explained to you why they wanted you to take him up on his nagging offer. The Dark Lord, who used to be known as Tom Riddle, was also once a part of that Club. And they needed to know how much Slughorn remembered about him, and if he was spilling any of the Dark Lordâs secrets to Harry Potter. They needed to know if Slughorn was revealing anything that might make The Dark Lord vulnerable towards Potter.Â
Truthfully, you had been grateful towards Snape, and towards Draco for pulling you out of that social hell of fake laughter and performity and into the cool relief of the corridor. You had been dreading the thought of going to the party since Slughorn had first informed everyone about it, and you were grateful to escape it. Even if it gave a chance for the general darkness that Draco carried with him to begin biting at your sensitive heart. And even if it left Harry alone with Slughorn and his endless yammering in your wake. (You pitied him slightly, but you knew that he would be fine on his own.)Â
You were mostly irritated with Draco because you hadnât seen him in days. You felt that he had been strategically avoiding you. Somehow, even in the Slytherin common room or even when you looked for him in his own dorm, he never seemed to be there. And now, he was interrupting you during a crucial moment, daring to show his face when you had spent the better of the last week alone.Â
You had invited him to attend the party with you. You thought that you would look like a fool, showing up without a date. And you had. Especially when nearly everyone at Hogwarts had your engagement as hot gossip on their lips just a few months prior.Â
âYes, but-â Draco began to explain himself, but you cut him off, your bubbling annoyance overtaking you in the moment.Â
âI was talking to Slughorn when you so rudely interrupted me.â You said, emphasising the words in a way that made Draco childishly roll his eyes. âHe was just about to invite me and Harry to look at some of shitty old mementos from previous class years when you had Snape pull me away-â
âHarry?â Draco repeated the name back, mouth gaped as his face twisted in disgust, getting far too caught up on the way you referred to his once rival - now someone who was very background to the rest of his problems. âWhat? Now youâre getting all cozied up with Potter, are you?âÂ
At the end of the day, Draco knew that you didnât owe him anything.Â
Essentially, his parents had bought you for him - just like they would have a new racing broom or a fancy set of robes. Since then, you had been nothing but kind to him. Well, aside from your mouthy attitude - which Draco actually found to be refreshing a lot of the time. And he wasnât even sure how much of it was genuine kindness and how much of it was putting on a show for his parents in order to demonstrate to them that you were a good purchase - that you werenât something to be disposed of.Â
You had held his hand, been cozy and complimented him. He had been surprised the first time you kissed him - surprised by how genuine it felt, and how much he felt himself getting sucked into the emotions of it. But he knew that it was all just for show.Â
Because at the end of the day, he knew that no amount of money could force him to own your heart. If you fell in love with someone like Potter, then he could do nothing to stop it. And frankly, he wouldnât blame you. The heroics, and the genuine kindness, the niceties, the softness - Potter could offer you everything that he couldnât.Â
And in all honesty - something that Draco would only admit to himself deep within the confines of his own, quiet, quaking soul - that thought utterly terrified him.Â
âSeriously, Draco?â You barked back, absolutely insulted at the insinuation. At the idea that you had been having fun at the party with Harry when it had been a pretty miserable time for you. âWhat kind of person do you think I am? I wasnât there to flirt. Especially not with Harry Potter.â
âYeah, thatâs an awfully convenient story, love.â Draco scoffed, his voice brimming with disgust.Â
When you made no further moves to defend yourself - when you didnât beg for his affection or further insist that what you and Draco had was truly genuine and worth fighting for, it only filled Dracoâs mind with more doubt. It only further inflated the idea that indeed, you liked Potter as a romantic partner. And you liked him better.Â
âFine then.â Draco sneered, turning on his heel and marching away, his shoes clacking loudly against the floor as he walked, creating an eerie echo in the empty hallway.Â
You hated that your stomach curled with dread at the sight of his quickly retreating back. It had been a long, lonely week without him, and you hated to think of how much longer he would isolate himself if you didnât take the chance to snag him now.Â
âDraco, wait!â You rushed to stop him.Â
He was the only person that you truly knew at Hogwarts.Â
Yes, he had introduced you to his friends. Pansy Parkinson was nice enough, and she always tried to make girly small talk with you, which you usually returned. Often, her problems about which outfits to wear and how to do her makeup seemed insignificant compared to the literal life and death that Draco faced. But you could always go to her for a conversation that was distracting, a good mental escape.Â
Blaise Zabini was more of the strong, silent type. Sometimes the two of you discussed books you had read (when you werenât feeling too stressed out to read). You usually ended conversations with him early due to colliding opinions on such books. Naturally, he sided with the rich oppressors and you found yourself rooting for the underdogs in every single story.Â
Somehow, out of everyone you found yourself surrounded with, Draco was someone you considered a friend. It was difficult not to after the summer the two of you had spent together.Â
When your godmother had told you that some âold friends of your parentsâ were interested in meeting you, you had been surprised. She had always been good to you - she had been friendly, always given you the basics and more in terms of what you needed. She was a very work-minded woman when it came to her job dealing with cursed objects, so she travelled often and left you to be watched over by the Muggle neighbours. Those were experiences that you treasured and often found to be fun.Â
You had always grown up with the underlying knowledge that your godmother was not your ârealâ mother. She always had you call her by her first name - never âMamaâ, or âMomâ. Occasionally, you were mocked in school (because she had enrolled you in Muggle school for a basic education) because you were âadoptedâ. One day, this had led you to asking your godmother where it was that you had come from.Â
She told you that your parents were from England, and they died fighting in a war against a terrible dark wizard. They had named her as the person who would take care of you in the event of their death, and though your godmother barely had any traces of an accent left, she told you that she once went to school with your parents at a place called Hogwarts in England.Â
Your whole life, all you had known was Muggle New York City. When you turned ten years old, you knew Salemâs Academy for Fine Young Witches, which sometimes had social events (like Quidditch matches and weekend outings) with a brother school, Magoriumâs Institute for Upcoming Magical Men. You had dated boys before, but you had never experienced anything too serious. You were a social butterfly well into your magical education who rode the subway during your summers and spent your time going to concerts, enjoying the Muggle library, watching television, going to the movie theatre.Â
Even though you never knew your parents and you mourned the dreams of a life you could have had - your life was simple, and you liked it that way.Â
Until your godmother took you on a trip to England, promising that it would be a pilgrimage to know more about your heritage, and nothing more. And then - over one dinner, she sold you out to the Malfoys for a dowry of two thousand Galleons.Â
Apparently it was enough for her to retire so that she could write a book, as she had always dreamed of. And she was more than happy to be rid of the responsibility of a child that she did not birth. Something that you had heard her whisper to Narcissa when she thought you had not been listening. Up until that point, the only thing binding her to you had been a magical contract that she had signed with your parents before you were even born, naming her your carer in the event of their untimely death.Â
The moment she signed a new contract - bidding you to the Malfoys as Dracoâs future wife - she was completely free of her responsibility. The new contract that she signed dictated that the Malfoys would have to be responsible for you now.Â
So - what you had thought would be a nice visit to explore more about the two dead people that you had never known quickly turned into a permanent relocation with only a small suitcase full of personal belongings, and little clue what the future held for you. Suddenly, you were in a brand new country, living with people you had never met before, betrothed to someone who seemed to hate you.Â
And the more the Malfoys talked about The War and told stories of your deceased parents, the more you realised - your parents had died fighting alongside the terrible dark wizard, and not against him. But still, Narcissa and Lucius spoke about your parents as though they were heroes. Valiant heroes who had died at the hands of Aurors, protecting Voldemortâs cause.Â
At first, it felt instinctive to hate Draco Malfoy.Â
You wanted so badly to hate him.Â
He was your betrothed, and though he was very handsome, he had been bitterly rude to you. It seemed that the forcefully polite kiss on the hand that he had given you upon first meeting - something that had given you butterflies in your stomach - had been nothing more than a front, a show he put on for his parents. Because he quickly soured towards you after that.Â
He made it very clear that he was not a fan of the arranged marriage either. Even when his parents continually tried to pitch the idea to him and fluff it up for him - as much as they acted like you were a present being given to him on a silver platter (something that only made you feel more isolated and empty).Â
There was a distinct point that made you come around to Draco Malfoy.Â
The night when you had found out that it wasnât just a visit, that the idea of the marriage wasnât just being âfloated byâ your godmother, but in fact, it was set in stone and you were being left at Malfoy Manor while she silently escaped in the middle of the night with her bag full of gold without even saying goodbye to you. You had sat on the edge of the guest bed they had you in and simply sobbed. You had never felt more alone in your life, never more abandoned, and all you could do was cry your eyes out.Â
Dracoâs room was across the hall from yours, so naturally, he heard this. It had been a purposeful move from his parents, putting the two of you in close quarters in the hopes that you would talk and interact more, wanting the two of you to at least like each other before getting married. After a few hours of being forced to listen to your chest-racking sobs, you heard a knock. You had been expecting it to be Draco, telling you to shut up so that he could sleep, but instead, a tiny voice asked permission to enter.Â
It was one of the house elves - one you later learned was called Pippy, and when you gave her permission to come in, she shuffled along with a large tray in her hands and placed it on the nightstand. A teapot and an empty teacup. She poured you the cup of tea, and after she handed it to you, she patted you on the knee and said:Â
âMister Draco says peppermint tea is good for the bad days,âÂ
You took the cup in two shaking hands, thanking her meekly, enjoying it as a small comfort. When you watched the tiny elf shuffling back toward your door, you caught a glimpse of a bright blue eye peeking in through the crack, clearly trying not to be caught looking in.Â
Even if he would never admit it then, he was growing soft toward you.Â
And he had spent the next three months, the entirety of the summer, fighting with that softness as it grew within himself. He constantly battled between pushing you away with feigned annoyance and coldness and wrapping you in warmth, a wordless care.Â
He would spend some of the nights in your bed cuddling you while you cried, staying completely silent as to dare not let any fond words slip out. He would defend you against his parents when you didnât participate in their properly deemed etiquette (such as when you treated the house elves âtoo nicelyâ or when you spoke about Muggle technology a bit too much). And yet, he never brought himself to say more than a few genuinely nice words to you.Â
He was holding you at armâs length. He was trying to be some snide, petulant boy toward you in the hopes that you wouldnât like him. But truly, he was the only real kindness, the only real friend you had in this lonely new world.Â
Draco stopped in his tracks at the sound of you calling out his name. As much as he would never admit it, he was a puppet to your call.Â
He heaved out a sigh and turned back around, so utterly drawn to you. He hated to see your eyes coated in glass - fear and sadness, the ache that you had disappointed him bubbling to the surface as he stared you down with a sour face, his hands still in his pockets, his entire body still stiff.Â
Even though a sad face didnât suit you, you were still beautiful. So damn beautiful. He hated that he had been so stupid as to miss accompanying you to the party. But he likely would have just been a grey cloud hanging around you, preventing anyone from talking to you and socialising with you. He would have been a roadblock to your mission.Â
You were wearing a dress made of a fabric that looked like liquid silver melted down and poured over your body, so sparkling and flowy that you looked like a star that belonged in the night sky alongside the beauty of the moon. It wrapped around your body gracefully, with a tie to emphasise your waist and a low neckline that showed off your cleavage. He was only human - he couldnât lie in how it appealed to him. Sitting in the middle of your cleavage was a necklace - it was an ornate ruby beetle, the sigil of your Pureblood family. You were the last remaining member of the Scaraflos house.Â
The necklace had been handed down to you from your mother - literally the only thing you had from your parents. You had worn it for years without ever truly knowing what it meant. You had told Draco that when Narcissa showed you pictures of his parents and your parents from their school days and pointed out how your mother was wearing the necklace in those pictures, it was the only time you had ever felt truly connected to your Pureblood heritage. And you had no clue if that was a good thing or a bad thing.Â
Anytime in years previous, Draco would have jumped to say that it was a good thing. Now, though - he wasnât entirely sure.Â
You were shivering slightly due to the fact that it had such short sleeves, but you were wearing black stockings on your legs (something else that Draco found irritably sexy, even though it covered more of your skin) and you had on a pair of simple, but elegant silver heels.Â
Silently, unable to stand the sight of goosenips forming on your skin, he took off his blazer and took the few steps back toward you to wrap it around your shoulders. With his thinner build, it wouldnât fit you well - but at least, it would shield you from some of the cold air in the castle. As he draped it around you, his eyes caught a glimpse of your hand as you reached up to hold the edge of the coat on your shoulder, clutching onto the fabric so that it wouldnât fall.Â
Draco couldnât help it when his eyes fixated terribly on it - that damn engagement ring.Â
It was something his parents had purchased without him ever knowing, and they had him present it to you as a form of ceremony. As if either of you had any choice in the matter. As if it was supposed to be romantic. As if you could have said no. Later on, behind closed doors, you told him that you would wear it proudly and he scoffed. He thought that the moment the two of you got to Hogwarts, when there were no more prying eyes on the two of you (because Snape certainly didnât care) - that you would take it off and resign it to some jewellery box, or perhaps even throw it away.Â
But you kept wearing it.Â
When you thought Draco wasnât looking, he sometimes found you twisting it between two fingers, looking down at it with an odd kind of fondness - or perhaps, even love. Always a deep, dizzying array of complex thoughts floating through your mind.Â
He had no clue that you wore it because you thought of Draco as your family now. He was the only person you had in the world who hadnât done you some kind of injustice. And you wore it to show loyalty to him. You wore it because it meant that you werenât alone. You were an abandoned orphan, sold and bartered like livestock - but as long as you wore that ring, you belonged to someone. Someone who, despite his best efforts to appear cold and uncaring, did take care of you.Â
âDraco, why did you come here?â You asked again, much gentler this time, lowering your attack for now.Â
You stared at him expectantly as you clutched his blazer around your shoulders, trying to steal the last bits of his warmth out of the fabric before it faded away completely.Â
He sighed, hating to admit that he needed help. He was stubbornly, bitterly independent, just as his parents had taught him to be. It was one of his biggest flaws.Â
âIâm having issues with the Vanishing Cabinet.â He told you quietly, hesitant to admit it. Hesitant to admit failure.Â
âShow me.â You told him, and he nodded.Â
He led you to the blank wall on the fifth floor that somehow caused a door to appear. The first time you had seen it, it had astounded you. Even in a world of magic, some things still managed to surprise you.Â
He had originally brought you there at the beginning of the school year when he had explained to you that he had been tasked to fix up The Vanishing Cabinet. He had called it The Room of Hidden Things. He had explained to you that any time someone wanted to get rid of a dangerous object, for that object to never be found again, they disposed of it within this room. Sometimes it was also a dumping ground for common junk, he had theorised, and he heavily believed that items that were hidden within other places within the walls of Hogwarts - a book tucked away in a random cupboard, a potion bottle hidden under someoneâs mattress - somehow, those items ended up here if they were hidden with the same intention of disposal. They were all pulled here by the roomâs strong magic.Â
You found it to be hauntingly beautiful, like many other places within Hogwarts were. You couldnât help but to enjoy the sense of mystery as you walked through the isles of piled up furniture, seeing all the strange items that you could barely put names to - things like dragon skulls, murky old potions rotting away in dusty bottles. Even a few trolls that had been killed and stuff (taxidermy style) that had startled you upon your first visit to the room because when you had first looked at them, you thought they were alive and waiting to attack.Â
Draco brought you to the back of the large room, and you saw that he had already pulled the tarp off the overwhelming tall, ornate Vanishing Cabinet, so the dusty cloth was sitting in the pile at the cabinetâs feet. Without a word, Draco walked up to the cabinet, moving in stiff mechanical motions as he pulled open the doors. You took a few steps closer to get a better look, realising that he was trying to show you whatever was inside - that must be where the primary problem was located.Â
You couldnât hold in the gasp that broke out of your throat when you saw a dead bird sitting in the bottom of the cabinet.Â
A bright yellow canary laying against the dark wood, belly up and completely still with its soft feathers rustled, a few of them missing. You had seen very few dead animals in your lifetime. Aside from the occasional New York City pigeon, laying on the sidewalk in a similar fashion after running itself into one of the hyper reflective windows of the tall buildings. You couldnât even stand to look at those for too long. You still felt the same deep heartache while looking at it that you had for the poor pigeons.Â
âOh - oh my.â You gaped quietly.Â
Draco was entirely surprised when you shouldered him out of the way, letting his ill-fitting borrowed jacket drop off your shoulders onto the dusty ground without care as you crouched down in front of him. You then scooped up the small bird in your hands, cradling it gently as though it were entirely precious.Â
He thought that seeing the state of things, you might start suggesting spells, telling him ways that he could fix the obvious problem. But no - you were soft-hearted. The true problem hadnât even occurred to you yet, because you were so caught up on the sight of a dead bird. You were emotional, struck by the shock of an innocent animal having its life prematurely ended.Â
Draco envied you quietly for a moment as you sat on your knees in front of the cabinet, looming in his shadow as you held the bird in your hands. He realised that in order for you to be so startled over this, so heartbroken - it must be one of the first times you had been brushed with death. Draco envied that naivety.Â
He wished he could rewind to the version of himself from a few years ago. A version that thought not being able to join the Quidditch team because of an age restriction was the worst tragedy in the world. A version that thought he got everything he wanted because he was genuinely deserving of it. Someone who couldnât see that he was simply a spoiled brat.Â
He wished he could go back to a version that hadnât seen Muggleborns slain in his familyâs dining room, begging for mercy where there would be none. Â
When he had first seen that bird sitting dead in the cabinet, a frighteningly still, dead body draped in yellow - for a moment, he had been reminded of Cedric Diggory. Someone so undeserving, lifeless before their time. Used up and gone.Â
But now, seeing the way you cradled it, fussing over something already dead and unable to benefit from your care - Draco was distinctly reminded of himself, withering and undeserving in your arms.Â
âDraco, do - do you think we should bury it?â You asked, the gentle croak of tears in your voice as you considered a pointless funeral for the small dead thing.Â
You suddenly rose up to your feet then, walking around Draco to look for something among the junk in the room, something to wrap the poor bird in - some kind of cloth, or perhaps a small box to place it in.Â
This caused something inside of him to snap. The way your sweet demeanour ground against his nerves - his worry, his anxiety about everything mounting suddenly as you fussed over a tiny thing that truly didnât matter.Â
Eventually, your good intentions would get you killed. That gentle touch, that willingness to help - it would get you on the wrong end of a Killing Curse one day. (Especially if he didnât protect you.)Â
âItâs not about the bloody bird, woman!â He growled out, entirely frustrated with your delicate ignorance, your lack of seeing the true point.Â
Draco turned to you, and grabbed your arm so viciously that your palms jerked apart and the small, lifeless body dropped onto the floor without a single bit of grace. The bird dropped against the cold stone so carelessly, as though it were an object that had not once had any life in it at all. You let out another gasp at this, and looked from the dull tuft of yellow feathers at your feet up to Dracoâs face.Â
âDraco!â You cried out sharply, protesting against his careless nature toward the innocent creature.Â
His fingers were gripping your forearm fiercely, blooming small bits of pain - but you didnât care. You felt a clench in your gut, distinct guilt overwhelming you. You told yourself that his anger was misplaced. You had to guess so. You didnât have words, especially not while he stared you down so coldly. All you could do was stand tall, and stare right back, even while tears formed in your eyes.Â
He tightly clenched his jaw.Â
You were surprised when he spoke again.Â
âHow can you be so daft?â He said, almost choking on the words.Â
That was when you knew for certain that all his bubbling anger was truly misplaced. He had called you brilliant before, and often made âjokesâ about how much you outsmarted him. It was one of the only things he had said about you that wasnât sarcastic or backhanded in some effort to deter you. He didnât think that you were stupid, not one bit.Â
âLook, you know if I donât get this thing working-â Draco couldnât even finish his sentence before his throat closed around the words, threatening harsh sobs that he was desperate to contain.Â
Instead, he turned abruptly, letting go of your arm - now completely uncaring of the misplaced conflict. You felt a wave crash into your chest as you realised it. He was right - how could you have been so stupid?Â
Of course, he had no care for a small animal.Â
It was about what that animal represented. His failure. Death looming over his head.Â
The bird had obviously died in the cabinet, which meant that a living thing had yet to survive the transition from Borgin & Burkes into Hogwarts. If Draco couldnât fix that problem - if there was some sort of problem when the Death Eaters tried to use the cabinet to get into Hogwarts and one of them died, then Draco would be on the line for it.Â
They would kill him if he couldnât get this right.Â
Draco moved slowly, putting a hand on each of the cabinetâs doors and closing them. The harsh squeak of the old hinges resonating through the otherwise silent room spoke volumes.Â
Then, for a few long, painstaking moments - neither of you said a thing.Â
Your chest ached. You wished that you could find something comforting to tell him. For some reason, you knew that simply telling him âitâs going to be okayâ wasnât going to cut it. You muddled in the silence and you hated it.Â
He stood with his back still turned to you, with his arms outstretched, leaning on the tall, imposing wooden object. It felt like a shadow of death looming over the two of you. His shoulders held nothing but pure tension, even as he used the object for support. Soon, he took on a very unnatural, un-Malfoy slouch as he allowed his head to so tiredly droop down between his spread arms.Â
After a few moments of that terrible silence, with you staring at his back, tossing your mind for something helpful to say as you chewed at your own lip - Draco took in a shuddering breath. Though you knew he was trying to hide it: he began quietly sobbing.Â
You couldnât help yourself then.Â
It was something you knew that he pretended to hate, but you did it anyway. He could pretend to be annoyed with you if he wanted, but you both likely needed it right now. You stepped forward, over the dead bird, your shoes quietly clacking against the stone - and you settled yourself right up against his back, tucking your body tightly against him in a hug. You nuzzled your face into the tense muscles of his shoulders, and as you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind and squeezed him tightly, you felt some of the tension melt away as he unconsciously relaxed into your touch.Â
You did worry about how much thinner he felt in your arms than the last time you had done this - obviously, he hadnât been eating properly. But you didnât bother to bring it up, not wanting to start another argument.Â
Draco felt a grateful warmth spread over him. Still, he refused to touch you back. He couldnât. At least not yet.Â
He kept his hands on the wood of the cabinet, almost like a bold surrender, silently remarking that he would give into your touch, to your softness, but he wouldnât return it. He couldnât. He let out another shuddering sob - a sound he couldnât contain now with the feeling of your warmth at his back. It was something he hated himself for.Â
You hushed him gently. And then, miraculously, you found words.Â
âWe could leave.â You said quietly, turning your head so that your cheek sat parallel with his flesh, muttering the words against the fine silk of his button up shirt. âWe could just⌠run away together. We donât have to stay here, Draco. We could get to a fireplace and Floo out of here, or-âÂ
âWe canât.â Draco easily cut you off, stamping out the idea, his voice just as quiet, throttled by tears. âYou know that we canât.âÂ
You wanted to argue the point more. Obviously, he didnât hate the idea. He just thought it was illogical. Likely, he thought it was too dangerous. But what was the alternative - possibly being killed anyway? Being tortured and then killed if he failed his mission?Â
âIf we leave, theyâll kill my parents because I couldnât complete my mission.â Draco sniffled quietly. âAt the very least, theyâll haul me in and have my head for being a traitor.âÂ
Draco straightened his stance then, taking his arms off the cabinet. You thought that he might remove your arms from his waist, finally rejecting your touch. But instead, he began tracing fingers from his right hand along the forearm of his left sleeve, almost scratching at it like it was a terrible itch.Â
You had been there on the night when he had gotten the Mark.Â
You had been brought into the room and forced to listen to his screams of pain before you even truly knew what was happening. When you had tried to comfort him about it, he had pushed you off so roughly that you had almost smacked your head into one of the walls - but you couldnât bring yourself to be angry with him. You that he was taking that fear and pain out on you in that terribly misplaced way.Â
Later that night, when he had been crying - sobbing harshly and running the freshly scorched skin under cool water - he let you run him a bath with soothing soaps. The two of you discussed Shakespeareâs plays (which you were surprised that he had read) while you washed his hair for him.Â
âNow that I have the Mark, I canât run anywhere.â Draco muttered quietly. âI canât go anywhere that I wonât be found.âÂ
That part had never truly occurred to you before.Â
You knew that the Dark Lord used the Dark Mark as a way for his followers to show their loyalty. The magic behind it also made it a way for him to summon them or even for them to summon him. Hearing his words, you guessed that Draco having it meant that he could be âsummonedâ at any time as a part of the loyalty he had so unwillingly pledged.Â
Even if he betrayed the Dark Lord morally, mentally, emotionally, and tried to do so physically by running away, as long as his arm was attached, he would still be in service to that horrible man until he and his followers decided otherwise. Especially because you couldnât imagine Draco wanting to part with his arm anytime soon.Â
âWeâll figure something out.â You told him, having little faith in those words yourself. You knew it was a truth that you had to speak into existence - otherwise, you were doomed.Â
You laid a gentle kiss on his shoulder through the fabric of his shirt, spreading more warmth through him. He clenched his fists at his sides, highly resisting the urge to reach for your hands, but silently hoping that you wouldnât pull away.Â
Draco resented your sense of hope. A lot of the time, he couldnât help but to think that it was stupid - just your naivety poking through in a different way. Though, truthfully, in a lot of ways, he knew that your hope was the bravest thing about you. And these days, that hope was the only thing keeping him afloat in the chaotic sea that his life had become.Â
Draco, unlike you, was a coward.Â
He could come up with all the excuses he wanted not to run away, but truthfully - he was terrified. And every single day, his fear put you more and more at risk.Â
âŚÂ
Draco thought back to a night at Malfoy Manor, when you had been having dinner with him and his parents. A night when, for the first time in his life, that streak of cowardice had somehow been broken.Â
âCan you believe it? Itâs completely ridiculous. A proposal to convert the entire Ministry from intern-departmental memos to this - this telephone nonsense!âÂ
Lucius ranted on as he cut into his food, taking out his aggression on the piece of meat in front of him as he recounted something that had happened a few months previous that still brought him particular frustration whenever he remembered it.Â
âThat Arthur Weasley is a stupid old bat, downright mindless, but even I canât imagine where he gets theses ideas from-âÂ
âTelephones can actually be quite useful.â You piped up, interrupting his fatherâs ranting with a quiet, but polite comment.Â
Without a word, all three others at the table stared at you as you continued to mindlessly poke at your dinner. Lucius glared daggers at you, his expression full of bitter venom, while Draco and Narcissa gave you the same distinct expression of shock - deer in headlights, mirrored over both their faces. Over the years, they had learned to simply be quiet and âlistenâ to the rantings of their patriarch, especially if it was about the goings on at the Ministry, Arthur Weasley, or any number of other subjects that he knew he was right about.Â
While at his own dinner table, Lucius Malfoy was not to be interrupted - much less corrected.Â
You had just broken the golden rule twice over. You had interrupted him in the middle of speaking, and you had contradicted what he was saying.Â
Dracoâs gut clenched as he realised that he should have warned you beforehand to avoid such a faux pas. He should have told you that the dinner table was a place for quietly eating and answering direct questions in as few words as possible - not an open forum.Â
Before he could apologise on your behalf, you opened your mouth again - doubling down on this accidental, horrible mistake.Â
âDo you just find it confusing because you donât know how they work?â You posed, reaching out to grab your glass for a sip of water, looking right at Lucius as you posed the question. âI know that a lot of Wizards who were born in the magical world can find Muggle technology strange and confusing, but-âÂ
Before you could finish speaking, Lucius reached off to the side and grabbed his cane, and brought down onto the centre of the table with an intense silent fury. He smashed your hand down into the glass that you had been holding, shattering it to pieces underneath your palm. Draco and Narcissa flinched at the sound and Narcissa backed her chair away slightly - but neither of them dared to speak, neither of them moved to confront him. In fact, Narcissa was very intentionally looking away, her eyes now glued to the floor.Â
Draco could see blood pooling against the emerald green table runner, could see your flesh quivering in pain underneath the silver snakeâs maw - but you stayed completely still, your eyes coldly locked on Luciusâ glare as he hovered out of his seat. Even with tears of pain dotting your eyes, your throat trembling as you held back cries - you kept a stiff jaw and refused to back down from the confrontation.Â
It was braver than Draco had ever been, and he silently admired you for it.Â
âIf you think that stupid, filthy Muggles are so brilliant, then you can die like one.â Lucius ground out slowly, pure rage on his breath. âWhile you are living in my house, you will learn your place. You filthy, blood-traitorous slut.âÂ
Draco held his breath. He knew that if you backed down, if you shied away and admitted your wrong doing with silence or even an apology, then his father would let you go easily and then this would all be over.Â
But of course - you werenât going to back down easily. Not you.Â
âAnd what place is that?â You remarked, pure snark in your tone.Â
Dracoâs throat clenched up. His father wouldnât like that.Â
Lucius lifted the snakeâs bite off your hand, only for a second, and then - after placing down the cane, he sharply backhanded you. Draco knew that he wore thick, heavy rings on his hand and he worried for you - especially when you swayed on your seat for a moment before falling to the floor. The heft of the hit was enough to dizzy you, make you unstable and send you to the ground.Â
âYour place is to be silent until I call upon you.â Lucius announced, seeming very satisfied with himself.Â
Narcissa refused to look in your direction, and Lucius moved to sit back in his chair. For once, going against everything he had been taught since childhood, Draco rushed to get out of his. He knew that it would have been expected for him to ignore you. For you to be isolated in your pain. But he couldnât help himself.Â
Draco rushed to your side, collapsing onto his hands and knees before you - instinctively, he sheltered you in his arms, trying to get you upright again.Â
âY/N?â He croaked out quietly, only now realising how close he was to tears.Â
âIâm fine, Draco.â You quickly lied. âIâm fine.âÂ
âDraco.âÂ
Luciusâ tone was entirely dead, almost calm, and somehow menacing in the same breath. Draco looked over your head, your slouched, defeated posture making you too small in his arms as he held you against his chest, and he caught his fatherâs eye as the man glared at him with pure violence dancing in his cold eyes. Any other time, Draco would have folded to that silent threat so easily. But with you there - with the feeling of you quivering against him, clearly holding in sobs - it truly injected boldness into him in those moments.Â
You were such a fragile thing. For once in his life - something he needed to protect. Something only he could protect.Â
âDraco, sit down.â His father ordered, clearly annoyed when Draco took too long to move away from you. âYou havenât been dismissed from my table yet.âÂ
Draco laid a gentle kiss on your forehead, and somehow, entirely against his own will, untangled you from his arms. When he stood, everyone in the room thought for certain that it was to comply with this order. But instead, he moved toward his fatherâs chair with sharp footsteps, putting on his best faux confidence and standing tall as he spat out his next words.Â
âI swear to Merlin, if you ever put a hand on my fiance again, I will end you.âÂ
Naturally, Lucius didnât find this threat to be the slightest bit intimidating.Â
His father let out a dark chuckle, clearly amused by seeing Draco posture as a man when he knew that his son was nothing more than a spoiled, cowardly child.Â
âLetâs not forget who bought you the little whore.â Lucius laughed. âThereâs no need to get sentimental, Draco. You should be paying attention. Learn how to train up your wife now, before she becomes a disobedient brat. You should never let anyone talk to your father like that, remember, loyalty comes-âÂ
Draco took out his wand then, much to his fatherâs surprise. With it poised in Luciusâ direction, he received a sharp glare.Â
âI understand loyalty perfectly well. Father.â Draco said, his voice short.Â
âIncarcerous.â Lucius hissed sharply - then, as if out of nowhere, a thin black rope appeared and whipped around the middle of Dracoâs neck. In an instant, it began tightening, choking him.Â
Immediately, Draco dropped his wand and fell backwards, landing beside where you were still kneeling on the floor - you panicked as you watched him choking and gasping for breath.Â
âLucius!â Narcissa cried out, begging for the end of the conflict.Â
The man ignored her.Â
âYou will learn to respect me in my own house, so help me, if I have to-âÂ
âFinite.â You held your good hand above Dracoâs gasping face and muttered the counter curse, releasing him from the rope, performing an impressive feat of wandless magic to get him free.
Lucius glared at you once again, locking you and Draco in a harsh stare as you helped him sit up while he struggled to catch his breath.Â
Before any further words could be said, Lucius pushed out his chair and stomped out of the room like a child having a tantrum, obviously upset that his intimidation and abuse had not gotten him the result he wanted. Narcissa said nothing, only giving you the saddest eyes as you helped Draco off the floor. The two of you left to go clean the glass out of your palm, spending the rest of the night locked in Dracoâs room, licking your wounds in the relative comfort of each otherâs silence.Â
âŚÂ
That had been the first time Draco had ever properly stood up to his father.Â
Draco still wondered if that was a good thing or not.Â
Before he could venture any further into that very dangerous can of worms, you pulled Draco back to the present when you stepped back from the hug. Draco resisted the urge to pull you back, to steal more of your warmth.Â
You noticed something out of the corner of your eye that caught your attention.Â
A mattress laid out on the floor.Â
It could have just been one of those random pieces of stray âjunkâ furniture, but something about it caught your attention. For one, the fact that it hadnât been in that position the last time you had been in this room. And two - there were a few random, stray blankets placed on top of it in what was very clearly an improvised sleeping area. As though someone had gone through the random objects in the room in order to compose a makeshift bed.Â
With Dracoâs bookbag sitting beside the mattress, open - you quickly clued into the truth. It was absolutely no trouble to figure out why you hadnât seen much of him over the past week. He had been sleeping here.Â
It was a revelation that shocked you.Â
Especially considering that this looked quite shabby in comparison to the comfort of the Slytherin dorms. And you knew that at home, he was used to being spoiled with a thick, three foot tall mattress on a four poster bed and goose feather down pillows. So - why would he choose to camp out here? Why would he want to be closer to The Vanishing Cabinet - something that was actively giving him stress?Â
âYouâve been sleeping here.â You said, disappointment ripe in your voice as you walked over to the mattress as toed at one of the blankets with your shoe. âWhy?âÂ
âWhy does it matter?â Draco huffed, picking up his jacket that you had dropped onto the floor and tossing it into the middle of the mattress. âCan you help me with The Cabinet or not?âÂ
âI can help.â You answered simply. âBut I want to talk about this first.â You said, motioning toward the area where he had slept.Â
Draco let out a sharp breath and turned around, rubbing his hands across his face in sharp frustration.Â
For a moment, you thought that he was simply going to leave again, forcing you to chase him, trying to outrun the conversation. It had been a favourite tactic of his when the two of you had been living at his parents��� sprawling estate, a place that he knew much better than you did. The second that things got a bit too personal, he would slip into some random hallway or sneak off around a private corner, and it was like he had Disapparated - with how quickly he had moved, disappearing into the bowels of the house so that he could escape talking to you.Â
You wouldnât let him escape this time.Â
You stepped up to him and put your hands on either side of his face, and he closed his eyes at the gentle touch.Â
âDraco, please donât hide from me.â You told him quietly. âYou donât have to be alone in all this. I know⌠I know Iâm just some stupid girl that your parents bought for you, but I want to be a good wife for you. I want to be the person that you can come to with your problems.âÂ
Draco didnât think of you as just some âstupid girlâ.Â
He didnât think of you as a gift, as a purchased object that he could throw away like he had with every other toy that he had carelessly broken in his life.Â
Honestly - you were the first real friend he ever had. You were the first person who was truly honest with him, calling him out on his bullshit, barring any consequences of his reputation or anything that his parents might do to you. You didnât flock to him for popularity or status. You were forced to be near him, but you didnât always act polite toward him by force. When your sweetness came to him, it was in waves. And it came along with sour notes and rudeness and harsh honesty that he needed.Â
That kind of honesty was something that he had never experienced from anyone else in his life.Â
And all of it was so incredibly genuine.Â
You were someone who should have hated him, but you always smiled at him; someone who said his name with nothing but pleasantness in your tone, where others said it with venom or coldness. You were one of the first people he felt like he could open up to, and that was dangerous.Â
Of course he was hiding from you. He needed to hide from you.Â
He was a coward. And lately, the thing he feared most, even above losing his own life - was losing you. You were probably the only good thing he had ever possessed that was actually irreplaceable. If he lost you, he knew that he would never recover. He would actually willingly fling himself off the Astronomy Tower if he was somehow responsible for getting you hurt.Â
That was what kept him at a distance. Hoping that he could actually grow cold toward you. Hoping that he could learn to genuinely hate you if he escaped from your sweetness.Â
He also hoped that you would grow to hate him so that you could simply detach and go off on your own. You didnât have The Mark, you could still run. At least before making your marriage vows, you could. But no - you were too good. You were too kind hearted to truly abandon him.Â
And every time Draco saw you, he only became more nauseated with the realisation that he was becoming more and more fond of you. He would always look for your face in the crowd at the Great Hall, he would always wait for that smile to come across your lips when you locked eyes with him.Â
And he couldnât handle it. He couldnât handle you. He couldnât handle being the one responsible for the destruction of your life.Â
So he spent more nights, longer nights in the Room of Requirement, slaving over The Vanishing Cabinet, writing down increasingly stupid plans for how he could kill Dumbledore without actually waltzing up and just murdering the man. He had to complete his mission if he was going to keep you safe.Â
âDraco, please-âÂ
He couldnât take it anymore. He couldnât listen to the sweet sadness in your voice curl around his name like a canaryâs song, another sweet little bird ready to die by his hands. He couldnât stand you talking to him like you actually cherished him - like he was actually something worth having.Â
He reached up and gently cupped the side of your face, tucking his arm inside of yours to do so where you still held onto his cheek, the two of you becoming so entangled, just as he had feared.Â
Then - he pulled you into a kiss.Â
It was an addition to only about a half dozen kisses that the two of you had shared before this. And in an instant, this was the most desperate - emotions that he desperately wanted dampened off and hidden wringing through his lips and into yours. Entirely against his will, another hot tear escaped, and he let out a small gasp when you were quick to thumb it away.Â
You wanted to cheer at the feeling of his lips against yours. You knew that before this, he was actively pulling away from you, putting himself in isolation, marching in his suffering alone because he thought that he had to. Or simply because he was used to it, from what you had seen of his home life.Â
You knew what a horrible curse loneliness was, and you never wanted him to suffer through it. Especially not on top of everything else he was already going through. If he had to suffer through everything that his parents had put onto him, then at the very least, he didnât have to suffer alone.Â
Having his lips pressed so tightly to yours - it felt like progress. Feeling the whimper that echoed out from his throat as he held your face so delicately, like you were a perfect, soft doll - like you were something so precious - it felt like you had broken down a wall that he had been trying so hard for so many months to keep up as a barrier against you.Â
This felt like saving him.Â
It felt like doing what little you could within your limited power to create light in the darkness he was trudging through. Or at the very least, it felt like you could assure him that he wasnât stuck in that darkness alone.Â
After a few moments, Draco pulled away from the kiss. When he reached up to pull one of your hands away from his face, you worried that he might just shove you away and walk away altogether, finally coming to his senses against the affection. You worried that he would suddenly become cold toward you as he had done many other times, in an effort to turn you off.Â
Instead - he surprised you. He did one of the most endearing, heart-melting things that he possibly could have done.Â
He clasped your wrist gently between his cool fingers, thumbing along your pulse in a way that made you hold back a moan, and then he raised the heel of your palm up to his lips. With his eyes gently closed, refusing to look at you, he kissed along the fading scars that had been left there when his father had smashed your hand into a wine glass over dinner.Â
The marks were something you didnât pay much mind to these days, especially not with the ornament of your engagement ring as a much more pleasant distraction on that hand. But feeling Dracoâs pillowy, light kisses grazing across your skin in the best, deepest apology he ever could have offered you - it made your stomach clench with overwhelming emotion as tears formed in your eyes.Â
âDraco-â You choked on his name this time, and he moved your hand to sit on his shoulder as he turned his attention toward your face.Â
Glassy, tear-kissed eyes faced your own, and you knew that there were no words for it.Â
The universe had brought the two of you together in the strangest way and drowned the two of you in the most unpleasant circumstances. But you couldnât help thinking that this is exactly where you were meant to be.Â
âHush now, darling.â He told you, his voice whisper-quiet, not daring to get much louder lest he risk breaking those tears in his throat.Â
Darling. It was the first time he had ever called you that. He had thrown out the occasional snide âhoneyâ or âwifeyâ in front of his parents or even behind closed doors, very rudely playing on the fact that he was supposed to treat you like a girlfriend, like his beloved. He thought it was amusing to taunt you with the sarcasm that he never actually would hold any true affection for you.Â
This was the first pet name he had given you out of genuine affection.Â
He pulled you back in for another kiss, and the moment his lips touched yours, Draco could feel himself losing it. The softness of your pillowy mouth against his, the way your fingers curled into his shirt, holding onto him like you truly needed him as an anchor. The little moan you let out - making him desperate to chase more of those sounds from you.Â
All of it was slowly driving him insane, leading him further astray from his goal of detaching from you.Â
He should have tossed you out into the hallway. He should have yelled at you, called you horrible names. He should have pulled out every single rude, bratty thing in his repertoire to make you absolutely hate him. Instead - he found himself getting lost in you more by the second. He found himself letting your softness roll over him in waves, turning him weak.Â
Draco held the back of your head with one hand, pinning you into the kiss, holding you against his mouth like a dehydrated man would so desperately hold onto a decanter of water. You let out another sweet moan, louder this time, and he didnât hesitate to shove his tongue past your lips, dizzy and needing to drink right from the source, wanting to devour you whole. He needed to see if he could taste the light that radiated out of you. He needed to see if he could find that fatal thing inside of you that made you have a fondness toward him.Â
This was nothing like snogging random Slytherin girls out of boredom.
In that moment, Draco felt important. He felt needed. He felt like he served some grander purpose of good in the universe because you held onto him tighter, because you pulled him closer, because you kissed him back with ferocity and sucked on his tongue. Because you wanted him. He felt that if your attention shifted from him for even a moment, he would wither away and cease to exist because he only mattered under the warmth of your gaze.Â
Draco felt like he was tempting fate when he moved his hands down your shoulders, down your back, daring to touch more of you - daring to ask for more. That he was playing with fire, letting his well-ingrained greed get the better of him once again. But he couldnât help himself.Â
He cradled his flat-handed touch across you with the intention to feel you in a way that he never had before. Yes, he had held you before - hugged you, pulled you close to him when he was stuck for words and wanting to comfort you, especially seeing as comforting words had never been a skill taught to him. But other than a few grazing touches against your hands or your cheeks, he had never dared to invite himself to the rest of your body.Â
Before this, he had never touched you with lust on his mind.Â
He had never truly thought of you as his property, something he could possess and own and take. He thought for certain, at any moment, you would push him away for being so brazen - and he would simply have to add this rejection to his pile of heartbreaks and move on.Â
Instead, he felt something inside of him ease with relief when you sighed with delight - one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard. And then, in a moment so perfect, you leaned into his touches. You kept one hand tightly gripping the fabric of his shirt and the other reached up and wound into his neatly slicked hair, instantly messing up the tresses and making them wild at the back.Â
But he couldnât care, not for a moment - especially not when you let out another sweet moan into his mouth and leaned your whole body into him, pressing against him so that he felt every inch of your gorgeous curves through the thin fabric of your dress.Â
Draco had felt you pressed this close against his body before, but it had never been like this.Â
Before it had been like a delicate bird being held in a cage - like some sweet, innocent thing he was trying to protect.Â
But now, it was like a man truly feeling a woman. It was a potential husband truly seeing his future wife for the first time, and his body responded in the only way he could. He let out a shuddering moan and he felt his cock hardening up. Of course, he didnât want you to feel it. He didnât want this to happen. He shouldnât let this happen.Â
He was supposed to be distancing himself from you, not letting you dizzy him like he was some stupid lovesick fool. He was supposed to be severing these ties, not burrowing himself further inside of you. (And just that thought sparked a certain imagery in his mind that made his cock twitch and swell to full mast. Brilliant. Just bloody brilliant. He was a fool.)Â
Draco pulled back from the kiss and you let out a disappointed sound - like the creek of an old door, tired and waning.Â
Draco forced his hands back to his sides, despite how fantastic the warmth of your flesh felt under his touch.Â
When he tried to step back from you, you refused to let him go. The grip you had in his hair caused a small twinge of pain across his scalp, and he was forced to open his eyes. The look on your face - kiss bruised lips, eyes still closed, a quiver across your chin, filled to the brim with disappointment, likely knowing what was going through his mind - it made him weak. It gave him pause.Â
He was too damn weak.Â
âY/N-â He said your name in a whisper - about to tell you that the two of you shouldnât be doing this, but you cut him off.Â
âDraco, please.â You whimpered quietly. âPlease, donât push me away right now.âÂ
He reached up and gently gripped your forearm. He should have used the touch to untangle you from him, but he found that he didnât have the strength to. Whether it was a mental strength or a physical one, he wasnât even sure.Â
âI need this.â You whispered, your voice hoarse and strained, and for the first time that he had ever heard - desperate. âI think you do too. Please.âÂ
He was a horrible, selfish man - but he told himself that a good husband would never deny you of your needs.Â
Draco swept you into another kiss, wrapping one of his arms around your back, firm and protective as he always had been, determined to serve your needs with more ferocity than ever. While you moaned into his mouth, he guided you backwards until your ankles hit the edge of that mattress. The one he had been sleeping on to flee from this big, horrible thing that had been building between the two of you that had now crashed down upon his head with inevitability.Â
Even dizzy from the feeling of his lips on yours, you instantly understood the wordless signal. He laid you down on it as gently as he could, taking the gravity in slow pauses rather than simply letting you fall backwards, and as he fixed some of the blankets under your head like a makeshift pillow, you felt like a queen, being treated with the highest affection and handled with the most gentle hands that her beloved could muster.Â
Part of you yearned for a rougher touch, to see Draco let loose on you - but you knew that this was what he needed. He needed to treasure something. He needed to know that he could have something good that wouldnât end up dead or broken because of him.Â
Draco paused above you for a moment, holding himself there with a hand beside your head - he felt a pure, stabbing pain in his gut when he looked down at you and all he could see reflected back up at him was pure, shining, sickening love. Your eyes practically glowed with it in the dimly lit room. He didnât want to admit it then, but he knew he was so utterly fucked.Â
He felt a curse curling up inside him - the urge to mirror that back to you but the inability to proclaim it. Feeling like he was some filthy dead thing that would never truly mean anything to you while wanting so badly to be the solid earth beneath your feet that you needed to function, he wanted to be your everything. His voice became strangled in his throat and instead of making that impossible proclamation, his body moved frantically as he began kissing down your neck.Â
It was a worship - it was a proclamation in silence. It was all he could muster, but he hoped that it would please you nonetheless.Â
Please.Â
He whispered wordlessly against your skin, tonguing along the planes of your neck as you moaned for him so beautifully.Â
Please, notice me. Find me worthy.Â
After lavishing gentle attention across your neck and your clavicle, coating you in salvia that cooled across your skin and made you shiver, he reached your bust line and easily buried himself there. He nestled along the skin so tenderly that you found your heart wanting to burst out of your chest to reach his lips, your hands coming up to cradle the back of his head in what you hoped was an equally tender gesture while he laid the sweetest, simple open-mouthed kisses in your cleavage.Â
This was a Draco that you had never seen before. This was not the surly-mouthed, harsh, bitter man you had come to know. And if you had fallen for glimpses of his sweetness before, then you were quickly being catapulted off the edge into full on adoration. Into something deeper and much more dangerous.Â
âDraco, please.â You moaned out, pushing your chest further into his touch, somehow already breathless and beating hard between your thighs for him.Â
Of course, he thought. More.Â
She deserves more.Â
Draco moved the hand that was supporting himself to push into the mattress beside your waist, holding his weight there now. And then, he used his other hand to reach into the front of your dress. He felt lucky when you sighed with delight rather than revoking his permission to touch you, even though his fingers were cold and icy upon your breast as he moved the fabric of your dress and the cup of your bra off to the side.Â
This left the deep V of the wrap sitting at your ribs, presenting one of your breasts to the open air, an absolutely beautiful sight as your nipple pebbled up with the coolness of the room. He didnât leave the flesh cold for long before he cupped your breast with tender fingers and fed your nipple into his hot mouth, eagerly sucking - as though he could communicate better every tangled bit of emotion he felt for you with the intricate swirls of his tongue.Â
âDraco!âÂ
You moaned and arched up into his mouth, encouraging him further to explore the beauty of your breast with his tongue.Â
You surprised him slightly when you moved underneath him, parting your legs and moving to bracket your knees around his narrow hips. He couldnât help but to moan against your breast when he felt the overwhelming heat of your core settle against his cock. Even through his trousers, with your dress pooling up around your waist, it was like feeling the morning sun kissing your face after opening the curtains. It was a wave of warmth that threatened to overtake him.Â
Draco couldnât hold back the instinctive movement, and he ground his hips downward, seeking more of that addictive heat, needing more of it on his hard, aching cock. He felt as though he had found liquid euphoria when you let out a crackling moan in response, the sound shaking everything inside of him that made him actually feel good for once.Â
The feeling was enhanced when you threaded your fingers into his hair harder, your fingernails scraping across his scalp as your body echoed a natural response to him - you clamped your thighs down on his hips, trapping him there, and you began to grind yourself into the hardness of his cock, clearly needed more for yourself.Â
He knew that he shouldnât be allowed to have this - he shouldnât be allowed to taint something as perfect as you. But he let himself continue to selfishly take, and take, and take more. He was a greedy brat, as he always had been, and he couldnât bear to change his ways now.Â
âOh fuck, Draco.â You moaned out so sweetly.Â
Draco pulled back, and began kissing along the side of your breast.Â
âShh, darling. Iâve got you. Iâve got you.â He said quietly, swallowing sharply, desperately trying to chug in more air.Â
He had no clue when he had become so light-headed, but if you were the thing making him so dizzy, so distant from reality - then you were his fondest drug, and he was never going to let you go again.Â
Draco descended then - he had the utmost urge to please you, to hear more of his name on your lips.Â
A near feral groan escaped him when he finally caught a glimpse between your thighs.Â
With that silver skirt pooled around your waist, he could see properly now - those black stockings that he already thought were too sinful now took on a whole new meaning in his realm of fantasies. You werenât wearing any panties beneath the semi-transparent garment - the thick seam of the stockings was stuck to your wet cunt, dipping into your pussy right where he wanted to be; your wetness leaking right through the nylon and causing it to stick to your cunt, making it shiny and utterly perfect in the dimly lit space.Â
Draco groaned from deep in his chest, his voice edging on whiny, even to his own ears. But he couldnât bring himself to care about how pathetic he must have sounded. You were just too perfect. He was drawn in by the siren call of your perfect cunt, one hand with a thumb drawing circles on your hips and the other gently skimming fingers up the back of your clothed thigh as he scooted himself further down the mattress.Â
He couldnât resist the urge, when he leaned down, he latched his mouth onto your cunt through the wet, shiny fabric, unable to resist the pure need to taste your essence without taking off the stockings first.Â
âDraco! Oh-!âÂ
You let out a needy moan, which only spurred Draco to suck harder, even tonguing sharply against your clit through the fabric. It created a sharp itch, a raging need - it was not enough contact, tedious and harsh and something that made a vicious, rolling ache inside of your cunt. You needed more.Â
âPlease, more!âÂ
Again - he would have been cruel to deny you. And though, up until this point, he had been a reluctant and unwilling paramour, he was nothing but a slave to you and your desires in those moments.Â
Acting purely upon instinct, he raised his head slightly to give himself room to work and then brought fingers to the nylon fabric, trying to tear it apart. His head was filled with nothing but animal need now, bloated and high on the affection that he had been denying himself for months he had been unwillingly engaged to you. Months of denying that you were exactly what he needed, his other half - the other half of a lonely broken person clinging on that he had been so desperately trying to shake off.Â
Draco let out a growl of frustration - his nails were blunt and dull and he slipped hopelessly against the wet fabric. Before it could truly be formed as a thought inside his mind, he leaned down and pressed his teeth into the stockings against your mound, right above your clit in a way that made you whimper from the contact. Then - he bit harshly into the fabric, tearing a small hole into it that he could then rip wider with his frantic hands.Â
It made you gasp, being exposed to the cold air within seconds - feeling your hot, pulsing cunt quake as the cool air licked at every single bit of your wetness. It was a shocking turn-on, feeling the seam of your tights being so easily demolished, leaving you as nothing but a wanton, exposed gash from the bit of your pubic hair sticking out to the way the new edge of the fabric rubbed against your arsehole.Â
Now, instead of being a gentle thing he had to protect or some stranger that he was trying to distance himself from - you were nothing but a hole for him to fuck. And you absolutely loved it.Â
âDraco, please-â You gasped out again, feeling his fingers tickling against your thigh, feeling his breath still huffing out in harsh pants over your now bare pussy, waiting for him to do something more.Â
You were struck by lighting when he latched onto your cunt, moaning just as loudly as you did when he was finally able to taste you, able to feel you completely unfiltered for the first time.Â
You arched up wildly and your thighs quaked against his cheeks - he made little effort to hold you down, too busy selfishly enjoying your pussy now. He took in a deep breath against you, inhaling a greedy whiff of your scent so close to his nose while he gulped down a filthy slurp of your warm, wet pussy, moaning loudly from the back of his throat the whole time. You were so hot under his tongue - you were a heartbeat, a new breath, something so alive that he certainly shouldnât have been allowed to drink from.Â
But you were now his to freely feast upon, as if he wasnât already spoiled enough by the world, tainted by the mangled silver spoon he had been gnawing on since his birth.Â
âDraco, fuck! So good!âÂ
You wailed out, letting out sounds that Draco had never before heard, sounds he never thought you were capable of. Back at The Manor, even when you cried, you clearly tried to be conservative, stay quiet, not to be a bother. It was only now that Draco realised he had never truly witnessed you losing control of yourself. Even when you had faced down his fatherâs fury, you somehow stood tall and composed, an impeccable monument to emotional control.Â
It was only now that he realised how truly badly he wanted to see you lose that control.Â
He never thought of you as property, of course - but if you were so stubbornly intent on owning his heart, his emotions, his vulnerability - then he would get to own yours as well. He would get to own your weakness. He would get to own the single moments in life when you truly lost your composure.Â
Draco set about devouring your cunt, keeping this mission in mind. He wrapped one arm around you from underneath your ass, holding you tightly to his face while he used the other hand to prop himself up slightly, pushing closer, easily getting lost in the beautiful heat of your pussy. He moaned against you as he drank you in, lavishing his tongue up and down your folds, intently focusing on the perfect little bead of your clit while it bounced and thrummed over his tongue.Â
Your body sang for more of his attention, shaking like a signal for him as you were wracked with more uncontrollable moans. He heard more distant groans in his muffled ears and hardly attributed them to himself, getting too lost in you, enjoying your taste too much. He was far too intent on burying himself in the first warmth he had felt in years, now determined to shut out the cold and make a new home for himself between these perfect thighs. Especially if it meant making you moan like this more, hearing more of his cursed name on your precious lips.Â
âDraco, Draco, oh, fuck! Draco, please!âÂ
At this point, you werenât even entirely sure what you were begging for - for him to bring you to orgasm, for him to stop because it was so overwhelming, or for something else entirely. His name just felt so right on your lips. Somehow, he seemed to understand better, seemed to know something that even you didnât.Â
He rumbled out a hum of acknowledgement against your cunt, and then, snuck his free hand up between your thighs. He teased two fingers against your fluttering entrance, slippery and off-target for a moment with his shaking hand - making you moan out brokenly as you felt the touches not quite where you needed them most.Â
âIâve - Iâve got you, love,âÂ
He said, pulling away for a moment to gulp down breaths - feeling spiteful of the air, spiteful of the minimal space between the two of you; spiteful of the fact that he felt like he was drowning and somehow forcing himself further into you wasnât the solution.Â
âIâve got you.âÂ
You curled your fingers into his hair again and tugged him close, pulling him back to your pussy, and he decided that he would never breathe again if thatâs what you so desired. He swept a flat tongue across your pussy, eagerly gulping down more of your wetness while he gently pushed those two slender fingers forward, finally inside of you for the first time.Â
Your heat was even more evident now, even more apt to drive him insane. Your pussy surrounding him turned his cold flesh warm within seconds, causing him to drive forward without even thinking, eagerly chasing more of that warmth against his touch. Part of his mind was thankful when you let out a beautiful moan in response and wiggled your hips closer to him, rather than feeling pain at the harsh, sudden, jabbing intrusion, and the other part of him selfishly didnât care.Â
You had offered this up to him, you had begged him not to turn away - and now, you would have to face the consequences of inviting a cold, dead beast into your den to feast. He was lonely, he hungered - he would consume everything good inside of you and leave you with nothing. And it would be your own damn fault.Â
Draco moaned against your cunt again, feeling that hunger now more evidently than ever, and you squeaked and choked on the air as he began fingering you harshly. He was desperate to feel more warmth, to explore more of that velvet softness inside of you that he so badly wanted wrapped around his cock (nearly forgotten, throbbing, leaking into his pants and making a mess). But he somehow couldnât think too much about his forgotten cock when your next words overtook his mind.Â
âClose-â You breathed out, and then sucked in more air. âSo close - gonna cum!âÂ
You were going to cum.Â
You were going to become unravelled on his tongue.Â
Draco moaned against you fervently, now wildly eager for this to happen. He suckled against your clit and harshly rubbed his tongue over that tortured little bead even more furiously. He continued to fuck you with his fingers while your thighs clamped around his head, further shutting out the world, allowing him to have a few precious moments where all those deadly responsibilities simply didnât exist. In those moments - it was just you and him. It was just his own carnal greed, a man fucking his wife. Just the small precious world he had balanced on his bitter tongue.Â
âDraco!â You choked out his name as your orgasm overtook your body.Â
You arched up again, your body practically whipping to his whims, being played like an instrument that only he knew the songs to. With your fingers entwined harshly in his hair, holding him to a place he would never want to part from while he mauled your pussy - it was perfect.Â
He moaned against you and nearly choked on the juices that he eagerly drank down, pumping his fingers into you with sharp jabbing motions, any effort toward technique completely gone. His mind was nothing but a pathetic soup of desperation, an animal clawing toward your warmth, determined to suck the life out of you and have it for his own.Â
Your cries of pleasure turned into sobs as you were crested over the hill into overstimulation, and when Draco pulled away for a breath, you thought perhaps he might finally let up. That he might pull his fingers out of you and the two of you would simply take a quiet moment to breathe.Â
But while your thighs continued to shake and you sucked in harsh breaths, his shoulders became tight with something utterly vicious, and he continued to stare down your pussy with rapt attention, some beast inside of him screaming out for more. More of the life you could give him, more warmth, more of everything he would ever demand from you that you had been so foolish in offering up. More of everything that you would never supply enough of to meet the bounds of his already dead soul.Â
âDraco-â You gasped. âToo much, too-âÂ
âPlease,âÂ
Draco begged in return for the first time that night, peering up the length of your body to look into your eyes with the most utterly pathetic glassy eyes you had ever seen. The moment he met your gaze, it became too much for the both of you - like a stab through the gut, a connection that had always been there being tugged in the most painful way. He quickly dropped his head, squeezing his eyes shut to further avoid this, pressing his forehead into your thigh as he continued to sharply spear his fingers into your pussy. This created sloppier, wetter sounds with each passing movement.Â
âPlease, please, please, please, please-âÂ
He pleaded so sweetly, yet so abrasively at the same time. Begging in a chant, in a way he never had for anything else in his life.Â
And just like everything else in his life - he wasnât denied of this.Â
You strangled out another sound, and then you were seizing up again, squeezing his fingers tightly as you were slammed into another orgasm all too soon. You gulped for air like a mermaid on dry land, tears leaking out of the corners of your eyes due to how overwhelming it all was, feeling as though the entire world was squeezed tight around you in those moments.Â
Draco held a sob tight in his chest as the unknown âmoreâ he had been looking for flooded over his palm - more of your wetness, more of your warmth. A wonderful flood of more that soaked across your thighs and made a small puddle on the mattress beneath you. He greedily dove down to lap it up, making your thighs clench around his head as he tongued your ultra sensitive entrance and even began using his fingers to drive more of it out of you and into his waiting mouth.Â
After a few moments of this, you tangled shaking fingers into his hair and did your best to force him upward. Though your body was practically jelly now, almost as if you had been jinxed, and completely devoid of any strength. He did soon get the hint, and he laid a gentle kiss on your inner thigh as he slid his fingers out of you, making an oddly loud âsquelchingâ sound in the room.Â
He trailed a few more kisses across your pelvis, revisited your breast, and went up your neck with his now very wet mouth before you pulled his mouth against your own. You couldnât help but to moan quietly in satisfaction at the taste of your pussy on his tongue.Â
Draco thought this might be the end of it. His own cock was even more nagging now - rubbing against the warm, inviting plushness of your thigh through his pants. It was even more annoying now that he intimately knew the warmth and wetness of your cunt. That he could so perfectly imagine what it would be like to slide his cock inside of you and feel that perfect, hot wetness surrounding him.Â
But part of him, something in the back of his mind was screaming: bad idea. Something persistent and loud was telling him that he didnât deserve to fuck you. That this should be a worship, only about you - heâd had his selfish moment, it was over now.Â
An alarming clarity was rocketing back into his head as he continued to kiss you.Â
It was an alarm that blared ever louder when you reached for his belt.Â
He snapped away from your lips and looked down, frozen with hesitant shock now as you slipped the belt out of the buckle and reached for the zipper on his pants. When you felt him tense up, and saw the grimace forming across his features, you paused with your fingers grazing lightly over the zipperâs teeth.Â
âItâs your turn now, right?âÂ
You breathed lightly against his cheek, your voice so sweet, so perfect. You were too damn perfect. You snuck your hand down to grope his cock through the fabric of his pants in a way that made him shudder. Oddly enough, that selfish streak didnât creep back in.Â
âCome on, Draco. I want this too. I want your cock inside me so damn badly-âÂ
This was about you. Your needs. Your wants.Â
Draco tried his best to push aside any hesitation, trying to push the world back out again. He wished he could just crawl back between your thighs and live there. But you wanted something different now. Something that meant a lot more. Something that might have bigger consequences than simply spilling a beautiful mess on his jacket that was crumpled beneath your perfect arse.Â
He sat up on his knees, shucking away your hands and replacing them with his own, getting the zipper down by himself. Finally, he got his cock out, the hard smoothness now resting against his fingers that were still slick with you. He pumped his cock a few times, almost numb to the pleasure of it - he was supposed to be enjoying this, right? Why the hell couldnât he?Â
Because his damn mind had turned back on.Â
You looked up at him with wide eyes, anticipating, your skin glistening with a slight sheen from his earlier efforts, your lips kiss-swollen. And somehow, a terrible flurry of thoughts attacked his mind like the snow storm raging outside the stone walls of the castle. Horrible things all able to get in now that he didnât have the fatal projection of your thighs around his ears, keeping the world out.Â
As you looked up at him, more angelic than ever with your kiss-bitten lips, your silver sparkle dress askew, revealing your smooth skin and your goddess-like body - Draco, with his hard cock in hand, was persistently reminded of one stupid thing. The reason that the two of you had been forced together in the first place.Â
The only reason any pureblood marriage is arranged: to carry on the pureblood line. To breed - to make more pureblood babies.
Draco found himself curling in disgust at the idea that this was what he was about to do. He was about to give into their whims, about to curse you even further with the evil of his name by fucking a little Malfoy into your belly.Â
Somehow, out of all the evil he had so carelessly committed himself to - this was something he just couldnât bring himself to do. Not when he would be doing it to you.Â
âDraco-âÂ
You breathed out his name again, concerned by the clear warring on his face. You were about to tell him that it was okay if he didnât want to continue - and you became deeply confused by what he did next.Â
He gripped his cock tightly and began rocking his arm back and forth, quickly picking up an urgent, break-neck pace as he jerked his cock - his face twisting with an expression of near pain as he circled a tight fist over his cock, urgently, again and again.Â
âDraco-?â You tried to question him, but he let out a groan in response.Â
âLook at me.â He choked out.Â
Zapped by the electricity in the air, the sharp demanding in his words, your eyes flew right to his. You found yourself almost possessed by the emotions lingering there - lust, regret, hatred.Â
You had a distinct feeling that it wasnât directed at you.Â
âItâs okay.â You breathed out, reaching out to put a gentle hand on his clothed thigh. âItâs okay, Draco.âÂ
These simple words - this tiny pacification that Draco had never before received - he broke. Your gentleness tore through his body like a dragon tearing into a fresh kill. It wounded him in a way that insults never could.Â
He let out a strangled cry, and unexpectedly, his orgasm punched through his gut - tears flooded his eyes as weak spurts of cum flowed out of his cock, making a mess of his fist as he slowed his touch. His release dripped down to ruin his pants, and weakly splashed against the bareness of your inner thighs were the hole in your tights gaped open, smearing onto the nylon in some spots.Â
When Draco was sure that he had wrung the last bits of weak pleasure from his cock, he fell on top of you. It was something entirely against his will, as he was now all too weakened by your soothing words, your soft touch, your welcoming eyes that seemed far too forgiving toward him. With his face tucked against your breast, tired and unable to hold it back any longer - he began to sob.Â
It was a dam broken from months, possibly years - a mask that he had been putting on long before you had ever known him.Â
It was an inherent shock to your system, going from that lustful tingle to feeling nothing but shock and pity for him. But you did the only thing you could do - you cradled the back of his head, holding him close, petting a hand down his heaving back in an attempt to comfort him while he wailed so harshly. You knew that it was what he needed. And it was what he had done for you all too many times since meeting you.Â
âHey, itâs okay.âÂ
You assured him, not entirely sure that he heard your gentle voice over the sound of his own sobs - your throat too sore from your own previous wrecked moaning to try and speak up any louder.Â
âItâs okay. Shh. Just let it out. Iâm here with you. Itâs okay, Draco.âÂ
It went on like that for what felt like hours. Your previously sex heated skin became cold in the room once again, distinctly reminding you of every single spot that was ripped open and exposed by your already weather inappropriate outfit. But instead of getting up to attend to this, you simply laid there, soothing him, trying to comfort him as his chest-racking sobs lulled down into calmer cries and then died off into sniffles.Â
You thought he might say something - thank you, apologise.Â
You were even further surprised when his sounds switched again, and a low chuckle came from his throat. A small sound that quickly hitched into an epic, near maniacal laughter, puffing against your breast as he tried his hardest to heave himself up on weak arms, tearing out of your comforting touch.Â
He looked utterly broken - his previously near hair a complete mess, falling across his sweat streaked forehead, his teeth bared, laughing so tiredly with tears streaking down from his now red, puffy eyes.Â
âMerlin - Iâm so fucking pathetic, arenât I?â He choked out.Â
âYouâre not.â You argued, your voice dull and hoarse but still firm in your conviction.Â
You wanted him to know that it was okay to cry. That under his circumstances, anybody would have snapped a lot sooner than he had.Â
He didnât reply, but instead moved to get off you entirely. He stumbled on his feet for a moment as he stood up and began straightening out his clothes, finding his wand and muttering some cleaning spells to deal with the mess he had left on his pants.Â
You sat up then, your back now quite sore from the poor quality of the abandoned old mattress. And from having Draco stiff on top of you for so long, and you began doing the same to yourself. He watched quietly as you righted your clothes and did a few simple (talented, wandless) cleaning spells of your own, and then finally, he spoke.Â
âYou should leave.âÂ
He said quietly, moving to turn away from you completely as he tucked his shirt back into his pants. He was likely going to slip into the confusing maze of furniture that he knew better than you did in order to lose you - to avoid further conversation.Â
âNo.âÂ
You baulked out defiantly, making an effort to heave your stiff body up to standing level in order to look him in the eye.Â
âYou canât keep doing that!â You shouted at his back, growing frustrated once again. âYou canât keep running away from a conversation every time it gets a little too serious for you!âÂ
âWhat do you expect that I do, then?â Draco asked, his voice strained with fatigue and heaviness, his throat worn out from the tears, his eyes still red and exhausted when he whipped around to face you.Â
âStay.â You offered weakly.Â
You knew that in one simple word, you were asking too much of him. You were putting such a grand task onto him that he could barely surmount to.Â
His chin quivered as he bit his lip, swallowing down the weakness of the confession:Â
I canât.Â
He wanted to be good enough for you.Â
But he wasnât. He just wasnât.Â
He wasnât some perfect harbor you could cling to in a storm. He was a heavy iron anchor sinking you to your drowning death.Â
Feeling all of his bitterness swelling in the air, something truly defiant came up inside of you. A deep urge to defy everything he thought he was, everything his parents had painted into him that made him run from you the moment you treated him like a person.Â
You would not have a marriage where your husband held you at armâs length. Even if you had to strangle him, smother him with your good intentions in order to get him close.Â
âDraco, please, I lov-âÂ
âNo.â Draco choked out, cutting you off, dreading hearing those words. âDonât.âÂ
It wasnât true.Â
You were tied to him by force.Â
You were someone bought into his life through gold and cruelty, someone forced to be by his side.Â
If you loved him, it was as a prisoner loves their cell.Â
He wouldnât let you waste those words on him.Â
You let out a harsh sigh and shook your head, wanting to scream. But you knew that he was far too used to screaming - used to harshness, frustration. He wasnât prepared for the thing you needed to give him most. You swallowed thickly around the lump in your throat, and whispered your next words as a cursed promise into the chilled air:Â
âI love you, Draco.âÂ
He sucked in a rattling breath, and it only took him a moment to find the strength to fight back.Â
âYou donât mean that.âÂ
He said, shaking his head forcefully at you, once again resisting the urge to turn around and slink off. He wanted to slither away and hide from you like the serpent that he was - cold blooded, alone, a creature of the shadows who previously never needed your warmth.Â
âShut up!âÂ
You barked back, surprising him with the passion, the fury that lit up your face as you rambled into your next declaration.Â
âDraco Lucius Malfoy - you may think that you know everything, but I can assure you, you do not.âÂ
He wanted to argue, even opened his mouth to do so, but you rolled right over his breath, speaking in such a powerful way that demanded he quiet down and simply listen.Â
âYour family may have bought me to marry you like some kind of broodmare, you may be rich and respected, you may be some fancy highborn pureblood - you can tell me what to wear, when to speak, where to go, but you certainly cannot tell me about my own thoughts and intentions. You cannot tell me what I feel.âÂ
You spoke sharply and firmly, your words tearing right through him, causing goosebumps to light up all over his skin.Â
âYou cannot tell me what I do and donât mean. And I mean this: I love you.âÂ
The radical truth behind your words shook Draco to his core.Â
Since he had known you, it had always been the truth. When you cried, it had always been with your own honesty. When you smiled at him, it had never been as some kind of act. When you called him an asshole during your private conversations - it was nothing but your own honest feelings coming to words.Â
He could never control or dictate your feelings, and it was one of the things that he liked best about you.Â
So why did he so badly want to control this?Â
Perhaps because⌠when you said this, it sealed your fate to his in the worst of ways.Â
It meant that even if you had a chance to escape this life⌠you wouldnât take it.Â
It was so much easier when you didnât like him at all.Â
Love was such a foolish, difficult thing to sever.Â
You saw the pain and hesitation written all over his face, and you stepped toward him, putting a gentle hand on his cheek. Oh-so-gently you sealed your lips against his in a sweet kiss that evoked nothing but more tears from him.Â
âI love you.âÂ
You whispered against his mouth, now much more certain in your declaration.Â
âI love you. I love you, I love you, I love you,âÂ
Your throat clenched with your own tears, clearly waiting for him to say it back.Â
His fingers shook as he brought a gentle touch to your cheek, wiping away a tear that had fallen. Sullenly, all he could offer you in return was:Â
âAre you sure? Are you sure that you can love someone like me?âÂ
You were entirely certain in your answer.Â
âYes.âÂ
Draco itched with the urge to run away again - but instead, he leaned back in and kissed you.Â
That night, the two of you fell asleep together. You were huddled into each other for warmth, cuddling on the thin old mattress that he had been sleeping on for the past week in order to escape you. It was the easiest that sleep had come to him since the days during the summer where you had crawled into his bed, looking to be just a bit less alone.Â
âŚÂ
Ironically, Draco woke up alone.Â
Sunshine was flooding the room - he wasnât entirely sure how a room that technically didnât exist within Hogwarts could have windows, but he didnât care to think too much about it. Especially because it made him feel slightly less disoriented to have the bright morning sun flooding the room. Though the sunshine warmed up the room slightly, he still felt a bitter coldness in not having you beside him.Â
Perhaps you had finally realised what a stupid mistake you had made the night before. Perhaps you had taken your own advice - taken up on your own plan and gotten to a fireplace to abandon Hogwarts altogether. With any luck, you were far away and would never be seen again. Not by him or anybody else associated with the Dark Lord.Â
Draco felt a pinch of disappointment when he heard footsteps - calm, certain, someone walking a path among the furniture to be somewhere. Not someone wandering with curiosity because they had just discovered the room. It had to be you.Â
He sucked in a harsh breath and let out a groan as his tired body stretched, his muscles protesting the shabby sleeping arrangements as he forced himself to sit up. Surely enough, as he blinked through the sharpness of the morning light, you rounded the corner.Â
You were dressed much differently than the night before. Your previously neat hair was now a half-picked apart and messy style, your make-up mostly smeared off or intentionally wiped off in a haste. You were wearing a thick woollen jumper and a pair of comfortable looking loose pants, along with your favourite slippers - a pair of very fuzzy boots that he had laughed at you for wearing before, called them dead Puffskeins attached to your feet.Â
You looked tired, but comfortable as you came to sit on the mattress at Dracoâs hip.Â
Somehow, with the golden light dancing on your skin, you looked more beautiful than ever. Perhaps it was a testament to the nature of your beauty, how sought after you would be if you werenât already betrothed. Or perhaps it was that petulant withering thing inside of him that was starting to wane in the name of your death sentence of love.Â
(Draco didnât want to think about the fact that you likely were sought after, despite the fact that you were engaged and it was widely known. He just didnât have his head in the Hogwarts gossip enough these days to notice if anybody was talking about fancying you or trying to âsteal you awayâ from him. He didnât want to think about the prats he would have hexed to hell and back if he ever heard them daring to want you.)Â
You took something out of the pocket of your jumper - a napkin, and unravelled it in your lap. Draco saw that you had come back with a couple of pumpkin tarts, likely from the breakfast table. It was only when you brought it up to your lips to take a sip that he also noticed you had also been carrying a large mug of steaming tea.Â
You offered him the mug silently over your shoulder, and he couldnât deny how appealing it was. Though he wanted to scoff at the softness, the domesticity of sharing something off your lips, he welcomed the heat and the familiarity. He couldnât reject it in the wintery coldness of the room.Â
Of course - English Breakfast Tea with just a bit of sugar. No milk. You had started drinking your tea the way he liked it. Probably because it was the way he always made it for you when you were silent and stony in your pain and he had no other choice but to be just as silent in his caring toward you. He always made tea for you this way because you never told him how you liked yours. Every cup of tea you drank at The Manor had been like this.Â
It was an odd, comforting habit that you had picked up from him.Â
âI fixed it.â You said quietly, nodding toward The Cabinet as you broke off a piece of one of your tarts and chewed it.Â
You offered him a piece and he swapped it for the tea mug. He chewed the small piece of tart slowly while his eyes studied the tall, dark, imposing Cabinet, wondering what you had done to it. His gaze migrated over to something new in the landscape of junk - a bird cage sitting on top of a small wooden table.Â
Within it, there was a live, seemingly content, purring white dove. In front of the cage, you had perched up a piece of paper. Even from a few feet away, Draco recognised the curls of the handwriting as belonging to his mother.Â
âWell done.âÂ
He wanted to ask in detail about what you had done to The Cabinet in order to fix it. But he knew that would be beating a dead horse. It was another problem off his plate, and he should be relieved.Â
He wouldnât burden you with any of his other problems.Â
âI miss coffee.â You remarked, looking down into the mug with a sodden kind of resentment. âBritish people are all about tea, tea, tea⌠you canât get good coffee anywhere here.âÂ
Distantly, Draco was reminded that you had been cursed with more than a marriage to him when your godmother dropped you off with the Malfoys and left you without warning. Your entire life, everything you had known, everything you had grown up with - it had all been ripped away from you. He wasnât sure what he would do if he had to be pulled away from his parents, plopped into the middle of Muggle America and forced to live there.Â
He knew it wasnât just coffee - you likely missed so much more.Â
âShould we release it?â You asked, taking another sip of the tea.Â
You held out another piece of the tart to him, and reluctantly, perhaps not even knowing how hungry he was, how much the anxiety and worry had blocked him from feeling it - he took it.Â
âWhat?â He muttered out, unsure what you meant.Â
âThe dove.â You clarified.Â
Yes. Of course. You still had pity for the small creatures. It had been meant as nothing more than a test subject for his familyâs greater plans, nothing but a pawn to them. But you still saw it as a precious life.Â
âNo, it-âÂ
âItâll die out there in the cold.âÂ
Draco cut himself off, knowing that such harsh words would have hurt you. Any time before this, he would not have cared about how his words hurt you - he would have simply told you the truth. But for some reason, now - it felt wrong to be so bluntly cruel.Â
âToo cold.â He muttered, accepting the tea from you again.Â
You stared him down during this passing of the mug, and he was fully able to see that pain glinting in your eyes. Clearly, you knew that âdisposingâ of the bird might be the only humane thing to do. Draco scrambled for something more. Something to make you happy. Damn it.Â
âBring it to the giant.â He remarked, swallowing down a mouthful of the hot tea. âHeâll care for it now, and he can release it in the spring.âÂ
The smile that graced your lips was small, and fleeting - but it made him feel as though he had accomplished something worthwhile for the first time in a long time.Â
âDo you think he will? It wonât be too much trouble?â You replied, hopeful.Â
âHe has to. Itâs his job.â Draco bit back firmly, his voice swelling full of his usual entitlement.Â
Before - when you had been helping him clean up after he had gotten The Mark, you had discovered one of the fading scars he still had from the feathered beastâs claws slashing across his arm. When you had asked him about it, you had clearly been expecting some story of his fatherâs abuse, or a tale of something else attributing to Dracoâs twisted internal torment.Â
But Dracoâs father was always smart enough never to leave marks.Â
When he told you what had happened - how he had rushed upon such a gentle creature, reeking of entitlement and landed on his stupid idiot brat arse - it was the first time in years that he had truly reflected on what had happened. It was the first time he had come to realize that he had gotten the beast killed. Even back then, he was unsure why his father had caused such a fuss over the accident. Someone who called Draco useless and disposable behind closed doors and publicly claimed that a single mark on his arm was a world-ending tragedy.Â
At the time, it was just another thing about reputation that Draco had yet to understand.Â
âAnd - he likes those things. He likes his little creatures.â He added on quietly.Â
(And, his big awful ones - Draco resisted the urge to amend.)Â
Draco couldnât take your bird there himself. Hagrid owed him no favors, that much he knew. But the man - or, half-man - certainly wouldnât turn you down. Nobody would say no to your sweet voice and kind eyes when you asked them for something.Â
You nodded, content with this answer. You took another sip of the tea before you put the cup down on the floor beside the mattress, and shoved a large piece of the tart into your mouth before you put that aside too.Â
âFor now, I have to bury this one.âÂ
You said, your words slightly muffled as you chewed, getting up to grab a small wooden box. In a moment, Draco realised that it must have been the dead canary that you had fussed over the night before.Â
Now, you were telling him that you intended to bury it, rather than asking him.Â
âIâll do it.â He said, standing up to come beside you, holding out his hand so that you might offer him the box.Â
You looked him up and down with suspicion, like he was trying to trick you. Although, as much as your relationship had been filled with bickering and discontent, he had never been dishonest with you. This just seemed strangely out of character for him. Before you could fully question it, he provided an explanation.Â
âYouâve been awake all night fixing my problems,â He said, motioning toward The Cabinet. âSo let me help you with yours.âÂ
He could see that you had barely slept. It was written all over you.Â
âLet me do this for you.â He insisted, holding his hand out once again. âAnd you go to the dorms and get some proper rest.âÂ
You nodded, finally surrendering the box.Â
âCome find me when youâre done, alright?â You said, not entirely posing it as a question. âDonât disappear on me again.âÂ
Draco nodded, and you sealed this deal with a kiss.Â
âŚ
He intended to walk you back to the Slytherin commons before he went outside, perhaps he would even get himself a thicker jacket from his dorm. Your path took the two of you past the Great Hall.Â
Draco felt a pang on one of his last nerves when a very familiar voice called out your name.Â
âY/N! Hey, wait up!âÂ
Potter. Of course.Â
You turned to meet Harry as he ran down the corridor toward you, and Draco slinked back to lean against one of the nearby walls - waiting for you. He hated that he felt the need to stick by you, to watch over you. But something nagging in him wouldnât be satisfied until he knew that you were tucked into bed, resting.Â
Potter jogged to meet you, wearing full Quidditch gear, carrying his broom - clearly set for an early morning practice. This caused an odd pang of mourning within Draco, yearning for a time when he used to be competitive, for when he used to actually care about the outcomes of school Quidditch games. Back when his life was so simple.Â
âMorning, Harry.â You greeted him quietly, dully, obviously still tired.Â
âHey, good morning.â Harry said, nodding at you with a smile - a look way too fond for Dracoâs liking. âYou left the party so suddenly last night, and Slughorn was asking after you. Nobody knew where you went, and I was just wondering - are you alright? Did something happen?âÂ
Harry eyed Draco sharply, a sideways glance, just for a moment. Clearly, he was suspicious of Malfoy and his presence around you. Clearly believing that he was the problem in your life.Â
Draco resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course. Saint Potter. Checking up on you.Â
Part of Draco itched with jealousy, knowing just how utterly desirable you were, and another part of him said that it was a good thing. That you should have somewhere safe to fall when you inevitably realised a life with him was a short, unlivable one. When you wanted out, when you wanted to run.Â
Hopefully, sometime soon.Â
âIâm fine.â You easily lied, forcing a smile. âItâs just - um,â You struggled to think of a convenient lie for a moment, knowing that you couldnât tell Harry the truth. âMy pet canary died very suddenly. And Draco came to get me to tell me about it. And Iâm sorry, I must look terrible - Iâve been up all night crying about it,âÂ
Draco wanted to commend you for the brilliance of your lie. Something sensitive enough that Potter wouldnât question it - something that easily explained the small box in Dracoâs hands and explained away your tired appearance. And it more than explained why you had left the party so suddenly and not cared to return.Â
âOh.â Harry said, clearly unsure how to respond. His eyes flickered from you to Draco, taking in both of your messy appearances, clearly wanting to question it as something more, but having absolutely no grounds to do so. âIâm so sorry to hear that.âÂ
âThank you.â You replied quietly. âDraco actually offered to bury him for me. So, he was just going to do that.âÂ
âLetâs get you to bed, first, love.â Draco said, pointedly steering you away from the conversation - banishing Potter off with this final thought.Â
He put a hand on your shoulder and steered you down the hall, away from Harry, and you began slowly walking away, believing that he was right behind you. But Harry stayed firm in his footing, and soon, Draco became captured in his fierce gaze, challenged in an all too familiar way that he was far too tired to truly engage with. In a kind of well practiced routine, he lingered back for a few moments.Â
âMalfoy,â Potter said sharply. âIf you do anything to hurt her, I will end you.âÂ
It was his usual hero routine. Intimidate, swell with confidence, over-inflate to seem bigger than the bad guy. It would have worked, if Draco hadnât already been so terribly small.Â
âPromise?â Draco croaked out quietly, tears dancing in his eyes.Â
He could think of no better end than one of vengeance in the wake of your pain. He could only hope that if he did ever hurt you, he would be met with a clean, swift end. One where you would then get to run into the arms of a man much better than him.Â
Potter gaped with confusion, and Draco turned, walking in quick steps to catch up with you.Â
âŚ
You and Draco stayed at Hogwarts that Christmas.Â
On Christmas morning, you did not expect to receive anything. Pansy gifted you a set of new quills in pink with a set of pink glittering inks and a fluttering giggle about being able to write âproperâ love letters to Draco. Blaise gifted you a history of all the Pureblood families in Europe - for âproperâ education. One that you had never been âprivilegedâ to have before.Â
There was another package, delivered by a gorgeous white snowy owl - a book. A basic guide to Quidditch with a handwritten note that said it was from Harry, remarking that you should come to his next game and âcheck it outâ, in order to see if you truly liked the sport or not.Â
At the party, you had told him that you probably didnât like Qudditch because you didnât understand it very well, hoping to get out of a long conversation that he and Cormac were rambling on - which only led to him trying to explain the rules to you in a toddler-like fashion. You couldnât tell him the truth, that when you had been at Salem, the Quidditch games between the two sibling schools usually led to a lot of loud parties and drunken hook-ups that made you mourn for the simplicity of your old life now.Â
Draco resisted the urge to throw the book into the fire.Â
(You gladly would have let him.)Â
There was a final package. One wrapped in gorgeous emerald paper - with your name on it, written in Dracoâs handwriting. Oddly, not signed from him. When you opened it, you found a bag of very expensive looking coffee beans, a grinder, and a French press. Draco would forever deny that his joy was directly tied to the look of awe on your face as you discovered the gifts, and the tiny moan of pleasure you made when you sipped your first cup of freshly made coffee.Â
He didnât love you back.Â
He couldnât.Â
No.
...
A/N: This is meant to be a standalone oneshot, but if you liked this, then feel free to go read the chronological sequel My Bleeding Heart. I do have more ideas to add more to this by writing more oneshots in this universe between these two characters, but this is all for now. If you are going to comment, please comment about the content that has already been written instead of asking for more. Happy reading, and Merry Christmas!
#sundrop writes#draco malfoy#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy x you#draco malfoy x y/n#draco malfoy x female reader#draco malfoy fanfiction#draco malfoy smut#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter fandom#slytherin boys
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Excerpt from Upcoming Baku/Deku MHA fic
Katsukiâs eyes rested on a set of scars lining the manâs arms, and a deep one across his stomach and up his ribs. His scars didnât slow him as he finished the rep. Once the bar was secure, the man sat up and raised an eyebrow at Katsuki.Â
Arresting green eyes. Eyes that regarded him with the same emotion one would give a complaining cat instead of a figure of authority.
Katsuki Bakugou had been managing manga artists since he was nineteen. Artists were tired, wan creatures with a low self-image. The average artist was a sleep-deprived and unhealthy ball of insecurities in a trench coat that spat out art and ideas like pachinko balls for him to unpack and sell so everyone got paid. They were dreamy types who had an addiction to talking to themselves through art and often needed a boss to point them in the correct direction.
DekuâŚa name that heâd always thought meant uselessâŚwas nothing like that.Â
#MHA fanfiction#Writers Block#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#mha bakugou#boku no hero academia#Slow burn fic#Mangaka fanfic#Mangaka/editor#Draco writes#AO3
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