#the way you abandon everything that you are and love just to wait for the object of your hearts desire to reach out to you
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dailynnt · 2 days ago
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FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE
Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.
⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader
⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.
⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+
⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤
⊹ 📘Number of part: 20/?
⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.
⊹ 👩🏼‍💻From the author: Can you imagine that this is the 20th part? 🫣 I remember being shocked when I wrote 10 parts, and now it's 20. 🤭 By the way, this is about the middle of the story. What did you guys think of this part? Let me know in the comments. 🙏🏻 Do you think they'll make up quickly this time? 🤔
⊹ 🫂Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and love you🥰💜 Bright times will come and you will be happy, my love 🥺💜
⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!
⊹ 📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura, @jalexad, @kelsyx33, @bhonbhon, @unholyforjk, @byeolluvher (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)
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≣ Chapter Index ↓
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Part 20. House of Cards.
The sensation of cold metal on your lips brings you back to consciousness. But you don't want to open your eyes. What's the point? What will you see when you open your eyes? Shouldn't you stay still until Jungkook comes for you?
Jungkook. That name sounds like a life preserver. Jungkook. Where is he? Why did he let this happen to you? Is he looking for you? Does he know you've been kidnapped? Will he make it before these people do something to you?
The sharp tip of the knife rests against your lips, pressing. But you don't open your eyes. The knife leaves an unpleasant mark on your jaw, on your cheeks.
"Jungkook…That fucking bastard." - You hear it very close and somewhere above your head. "I've been waiting for this moment for so long. Now I have the opportunity to take revenge on him by cutting his sweet whore almost to straw." - You feel your heart start to beat fast. It's as if there's a little bird inside your chest begging to be free and ready to smash against the cage just to be free.
Are you afraid of being hurt? Yes. You scared. Will it hurt? Probably yes. You gather your courage and open your eyes. The darkness of the warehouse, lit by only one lamp, created an oppressive atmosphere. Somewhere in the distance, you could hear the sound of water drops falling on a metal surface. Your heart was pounding so loudly that it seemed to drown out even this sound.
A man stood in front of you, tall and stout, with rough features and a sparse beard. His eyes burned with hatred, and in his hands he was clutching a knife that looked like it was used to freshly cut the carcasses of dead animals.
Meeting his hateful glare in his eyes, you felt your insides twist into a tight knot. It was painful.
"Oh, finally, our beauty has woken up." - You don't know how long you were unconscious. The last thing you remember is being brought to an abandoned warehouse and this man, who standing in front of your eyes, ordered no one to touch you. Only to watching for you. The conversation stopped and you felt a prick in your neck and lost consciousness.
You were sitting on a chair tied up. Your hands were tied behind your back, aching with pain. Your legs were also tied, and your body was aching. You were freezing. Although you were wearing a coat, it was unbuttoned. Your thigh was visible, and your neckline was also on display. You were uncomfortable with this bastard looking at you, inspecting your body.
The man stretched his cracked lips in a nasty smile, running the tip of the knife across your cheek again, but not cutting the skin. His voice sounded ominous, and you felt every word burning you from the inside.
"Are you waiting for your saviour?" - He asks with venom in his voice. He takes the knife away from your face and touches his watch with the hand he was holding it with. "He's taking his time. You've been here for more than 5 hours." - He looks at you and you realize that it's about 7 am. "Do you think I should have played with you right away?" - He puts the knife to your neck again, this time forcing you to turn your head away.
"What did he do to you?" - You say quietly, trying to stay calm, even though your hands and feet were shaking with fear. You decided to stall for time, to start a conversation and maybe better understand why you were here.
The man was in no hurry to answer you. He ran the knife down from your neck to your chest. He was standing over you, too close, and you were very scared and disgusted at the same time.
"What did he do? Oh, girl, you can't even imagine." - He said with a smile on his lips, ugly and crazy.
"I can, if you tell me." - You say more boldly. The man wiggles his eyebrows sensing your tone.
"I had a company. A legitimate business. Not a big one, but it worked. Logistics, warehouses, transportation. And then he comes along, this dumbass and his gang." - He finally starts to speak. He squeezes the handle of the knife and presses it into the gap between your breasts. "They came to me like predators. They said I 'owed them money'. This bastard told me that Namjun was waiting for his money, but I had paid all the debts I had. I didn't understand why they sent your guy to me." - The man took a step away from you and turned his back as if thinking aloud. "But you know what? It turned out they wanted to get the securities I had. Namjoon thought I should give them to them voluntarily. And when I didn't, they sent your nice boy and he grabbed me and tortured me for eight fucking hours." - The man says and turns to you.
"Did he really do that to you?" - You ask. When he turns to you, you see his face distorted by anger.
"He beat me, cut me, burned my skin, he broke almost every bone in my body. As I was lying on the ground, bleeding, this little psychopath whispered to me that if I didn't voluntarily give them the shares of my company and the papers that Namjoon wanted, they would force me to do it. Do you know how?" - The man turned to you and poked you again with the knife. It was painful, and you felt a drop of blood leak out of your cheek.
"How?" - You asked in a trembling voice.
"He showed me a picture of my little girl, who they watched , and said he would do things to her that would make me not only want to give up the company myself, but that I would sell my soul to the devil." - Your captor growls. You freeze in horror. No. Jungkook would never do that. He would never hurt a little child. This is definitely not Jungkook.
"He would never lay a finger on a little child. You're lying!" - You snapped. A hard blow landed on your lip. It was a fist or a slap, you don't know for sure, but your lip instantly went numb and you felt a metallic taste in your mouth.
"Who gave you the right to raise your voice to me, bitch?" - The kidnapper shouted at you, hitting you painfully. You looked up at him and glared. He grabbed you by the hair, pulling your head back, and came closer. "This piece of shit is going to pay for everything now. Did you think you knew him? You don't. He's a cold-blooded killer, and I'm just lucky to be alive. My wife left me and took our child when she found out I was threatened and that I had given away my company. I lost everything because of him."
"If you hate Jungkook so much, why don't you deal with him personally? Do you haven’t the guts? Do you? Do you think that by grabbing me, you'll pay him back in kind?" - You asked boldly. It was foolish of you. You're not in the best condition to throw out words like that. But that's you, your sharp tongue hasn't gone away.
"What a long tongue you have!" - The kidnapper laughed. "I can easily shorten it for you." - He squeezed your hair tighter.
"Only cowards do that." - You provoked. "You could meet him and talk to him like a man. You could have called your henchmen for help and resolved the old issue. And you kidnapped me, and you think he'll feel bad if you hurt me?" - The man looks at you with contempt. His lips are pressed into a thin line. "You know he'll come and you'll be dead. You could have been smart and taken him by surprise, but you chose to act in a primitive wa..." - You didn't finish speaking because you got hit in the face again. It hurt so much. It woke you up. You shouldn't talk like that, in front of a man who holds a knife and can cut you without hesitation.
"Shut your mouth!" - He snarled. "You have no idea what you're talking about or what you're getting yourself into. I'm going to make him feel what I've been feeling all along. The fear. The despair. The pain. And you're going to help me do that, little one."
"I won't do anything for you." - You wheezed, shaking with pain.
"Oh, you already have. You're his weakness. Now he will run around like a mad dog trying to find you. And when he does, I'll make sure you see him suffer." - Your captor growled.
You were silent, trying to gather strength to defend yourself somehow. Your head was spinning and your body was in pain, but you didn't let yourself break.
"When Jungkook comes, you will that one who feel pain, despair, and fear again. You know that." - You say sharply. The man laughs at how restless you are.
"Do you know what people are the most frightening? Those who have nothing to lose. And I am exactly like that. I have nothing. And your Jungkook took it all away from me." - He stops talking. He looks at you, wondering where to start. "I'm looking forward to him. Now let's decorate your beautiful skin with perfect cuts." - Says your captor. He touches your cheek with the knife and you hold your breath. Another moment and he will cut your face. Suddenly you hear the sound of a struggle. The kidnapper also hears something happening outside.
"Has Jungkook really come? I have to go meet him with honors." - You see the man shove the knife into the sheath and a moment later pull out a gun. You are frozen with horror. The man loads the weapon and walks to the exit of the warehouse.
Your brain is working at full capacity. You hear screams, sounds of blows. You try to figure out how to free yourself from the ropes. But your arms and legs are tied so tightly that you can barely move.
You are literally petrified when you hear a few shots and everything goes silent. It's quiet. And you hear the drops drumming on the metal in time with your heartbeat. The door opens and you see someone coming. Because of the light shining in your face, you hope it's Jungkook. From the way he looks, it's him.
"Jungkook..." - You cry, calling out to your boyfriend. When he ends up next to your lap, you don't immediately realize that it's not Jungkook. It's Doohoon. Tears wash away your mascara, closing your eyes. You blink your eyes open and finally see clearly. He still has the bruises under his eyes, the marks of Jungkook's beatings.
"Candy..." - He touches your cheek with cold fingers. You cry harder. You're actually glad that Doohoon is here. It doesn't matter who he is. What matters is that he came to save you. How did he find you so quickly? Was it because he was following you? "Bastards. What did they do?" - He wipes away the blood running from the wound on his lip.
"How did you find me?" - You ask in a shaky voice. Doohoon hurries to untie you. He unties your hands first. Your wrists burn with pain. You rubbed them with your hands to ease the pain. You waited for him to respond, but he was in no hurry to answer. Doohoon knelt down and began to untie your legs.
"I saw you run out of Jimin's club. I was right behind you. I texted you, when you were there. I knew something bad had happened. I went after you and wanted to pick you up...." - You were so focused on Doohoon words and his movements trying to free you from the ropes that you didn't hear someone appear next to you.
It's like you're in slow motion, seeing Doohoon flying backwards with great force. You see Jungkook grabbing him by the collar and punching him in the face, decorating his face with a new bruise.
"You fucking shit!" - Jungkook yelled. You had to react somehow. You saw Jungkook beating Doohoon, who was covering his face with his hands to shield himself from the blows. Jungkook pushed Doohoon against the wall and continued to beat him.
"Jungkook!" - You called to get his attention. You called out to your boyfriend again and again to get him to pay attention to you, but it seemed like his main goal was to destroy Doohoon.
"I'm going to fucking kill you, motherfucker!" - Jungkook yelled between punches. At some point, while you were trying to untie your legs, Doohoon fought back against Jungkook. He seized the moment and punched Jungkook in the face. Jungkook fell back on, not expecting to miss Doohoon’s fist.
You released your legs and stood up. Your legs were shaking and you were dizzy. You had to stop the fight that was happening. You froze in horror when you were almost to them and saw Jungkook pull out a gun and point it at Doohoon’s face. He loaded the gun in a matter of seconds.
Doohoon froze just like you, but he didn't look scared. In fact, he was trying to hold back a smile. With his peripheral vision, he sees you standing behind Jungkook with terror on your face.
"Jungkook, I came to save Y/N..." - Doohoon says, his voice desperate.
"I'll make a sieve out of your head." - Jungkook said coldly. "This is all your fault, you fucking bastard. I know."
"Are you crazy? I didn't kidnap her, it wasn't me." - Doohoon almost doesn't cry. He makes his voice sound so innocent that your heart clenches in your chest. Jungkook doesn't look like himself. He looks like the monster you saw in Niseko again.
You see Jungkook breathing heavily. He's so focused on Doohoon and the possibility of destroying him that he doesn't even pay attention to you. He didn't come over to you when you were tied up. Did he not care what happened to you? And if you were lying unconscious, all cut up, he really would have run to kill Doohoon first thing in, too?
You see Jungkook take a step toward Doohoon and put the muzzle of the gun directly to his forehead.
"You bore me." - He says. Jungkook takes the safety off the gun and you realize that in the state Jungkook is in now, he can do anything.
You run to them and shout at the top of your lungs.
"JUNGKOOK ENOUGH!" - Your voice echoes in the warehouse and your eyes finally meet the two black buttons. Jungkook sees your bruised lip and the cut on your cheek. There are traces of smeared blood on your chin. Your mascara is smeared black on your cheeks. Your eyes are red, like you've been crying a lot. It hurts Jungkook to see what these assholes have done to you. He's going to kill everyone who hurt you, and he's going to start with Doohoon, who's responsible for kidnapping you.
"Baby..." - Jungkook says quietly, still holding the gun pointed at Doohoon.
At that moment, Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok, and a few other guys run into the warehouse. You stare at them indifferently for a second and then turn your gaze to Jungkook.
"Let him go. He saved me, and you want to kill him?" - You ask colorlessly.
"This is his handiwork. He set up this kidnapping..." - Jungkook explains. But that's not possible, because the kidnapper told you everything. And it wasn't Doohoon who took everything from the man who kidnapped you.
"What are you talking about?" - You ask, almost crying again. "The man who kidnapped me told me everything. You tortured him for eight hours to make him give the company to your boss and threatened to kill his little child. He went crazy, the man dreamed of take revenge with you, threatening to cut me into pieces. And you blame Doohoon for kidnapping me?" - All you hear was your voice filled with hysteria. You grabbed your hair, realizing the danger you were in because of your relationship with Jungkook. You were sick from the sleeping pills, from your nerves, and from the terrible Jungkook, who turned out to be a real wolf pretending to be a sheep. Everything you knew about your "best friend" and "boyfriend" was a lie and an illusion that he skillfully showed to you and his family.
"Let's all calm down." - You heard Hosok's voice. You looked at him and felt a wave of anger wash over you. The only one who was happy about the whole situation was Doohoon. Without showing his satisfaction, he was quietly rejoicing that his plan had worked out in the best possible way.
"It's your fault, Jeon, that I'm the here. Don't put the blame on someone else. You couldn't protect me, even though you promised me you would more than once." - You said. Your voice became hard because it was filled with anger and frustration. "I was really a fool to think that we could be a couple. I didn't see or realize who you really were. My feelings for you closed my eyes to your true personality, which I see right now. It's not Doohoon's fault that you've become what you are. You make your own decisions and do the things that you will be responsible for." - You stop talking, and everyone around you is stunned, like statues, frozen in place. Jungkook puts down the gun and wants to approach you.
"Baby... you have it all wrong...." - Jungkook says as he approaches you. You take a few steps back. Again, you are afraid of him, and now you are really afraid. Because you don't know the man in front of you. He only has the appearance of a man you've known since childhood.
"Don't even think about coming near me, Jeon." - You say, holding out your hand. "I don't want to know you anymore. I don't want anything to do with you." - Jungkook freezes. He feels like he's been hit in the chest with a hammer. Your words wound his soul. He looks at you and wants to hug you, wants to lean against you and hide you in his arms. Jungkook is a fool. He let everything happen: falling in love with you, telling you who he really is, having someone kidnap you, allowed Doohoon to do everything to make you think he was the really scumbag. It looks like Jungkook is really to blame and shouldn't be blaming anyone else. It's completely his fault.
"You need to go to the hospital." - Jungkook said. "Jimin will take you..." - He offered you.
"No." - You cut him off. "I'm not going with any of these thugs." - You say. Doohoon almost laughs out loud. You're a fire. He always knew you were sharp with your tongue. Unlike Doohoon, Jimin can't hold back his laughter. Everyone looks at him, especially Jungkook, who raises his eyebrows.
"Give me my phone back. I'll get out of here." - You tell Jungkook, knowing that he has your phone. Jungkook silently reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out your phone. He takes a step toward you and you take the phone away.
"Please, baby, if you don't want to go with me or Jimin, then go with Taehyung or Hoseok. You need to see a doctor." - Jungkook pleads with you.
"I don't need you to take care of me." - You say as you walk over to Doohoon. You take his hand and throw it over your shoulder. "I'm going to leave here with Doohoon. And God forbid you follow us. I'll call the police on you." - You say. You want to take a step with Doohoon, and then you laugh hysterically. "Oh right, who am I talking to. The mafia that controls the police. If the police don't protect me, I think…your mother will. Seems she's more powerful than the Seoul police." - You stare fiercely into Jungkook's angry gaze at you. "I'll tell her everything if you try to get close to me." - You threaten. A second's silence almost physically presses on everyone present. "Do you understand me, Jeon?" - You ask.
You don't wait for an answer. You and Doohoon walk away and you don't see that Jungkook is simply devastated. He is destroyed by your words and actions. From the very beginning, your relationship was like a house of cards. You and Jungkook were seduced by the possibility of feeling love, building a fragile house of cards which of fate that gave you false hope. And the real world destroyed that house in one day.
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Three weeks later
Three weeks have passed, but the wounds from the experience still hurt. Not only bruises on your skin, but also deep scars in your soul. You feel empty, as if something important was torn from your heart. All these days you tried to cope, you got a job, set up a new apartment, taking things from Jungkook's apartment when he wasn’t be at home (on the third day of the new year). You tried to find a footing in your new life. But every night, thoughts of Jungkook returned like shadows.
Your mind is filled with questions: how could you have been so blind? How could you not notice Jungkook's dark side, which used to be just a vague feeling, but now became clear and obvious?
The image of him beating Doohoon and holding a gun to his head haunts you. That moment turned your perception of him upside down. He is not just the man you loved. He's a gangster. A dangerous one. Unpredictable. And although your heart screams that he is like that because of his circumstances, your mind says otherwise: you don't belong with him.
At the same time, you feel guilty. You've seen his other side, the gentle, caring one, the one who would give up everything for you. But even these memories are shattered by reality. You are afraid of him, afraid of who he has become, or who he has always been. And this fear destroys all hope. Everything fell apart in one moment, like a house of cards.
You wake up when the sun has already set. Today is your night shift at the convenience store you got a job at in your new neighborhood. There were many advantages to working there. The salary is enough for rent, the store is close to your new apartment. The scholarship will be enough to live on.
The fourth year is about to start. You will be writing your thesis. Your head is swollen with how you are going to combine study and work. You have to try again. But to be honest, you don't have much of a choice. You can't go back to Suwon to live with your parents because they still think you live alone in the apartment and are doing fine, even though you look back at your shadow even during the day. Now every man is a potential kidnapper for you. And you are afraid that Jungkook is watching you. Maybe he is, but you haven't seen or heard anything suspicious in the three weeks you've lived without him. And there hasn't been a single news from Jungkook himself. Not a text, not a call. Nothing.
You put on a black oversized hoodie and wide black pants to make yourself look big and more like a boy than a girl. You came up with the idea to do this when you were dressed to work in a store. This peculiar disguise may not have worked properly, but it made you feel at ease.
Luckily for you, in the two weeks you've been working in the store, working at night has been quite pleasant, the only trigger is being sleepy even if you've slept during the day, and maybe some grumpy man who wants to get free lunchboxes that will only expire at the end of the day.
Doohoon also bored you off a lot. He helped you find an apartment and had a habit of coming to see you whenever he felt like it. Of course, you rarely let him in, and you could almost always come up with some excuse, but there were a few times when you just couldn't do it. You are annoyed by his pre-housekeeping, he thinks he can throw money at you and you will idolize him. He reassures you that he is just "your good friend" who helps you in your time of need, and you tell him that you have had enough "friends" in your life and that he should leave you alone. But he just laughs and doesn't take your words seriously.
You put a deep hood over your head so that you can't see your face and pull on your jacket. In 15 minutes you will reach the store and take over the shift from your partner Sunchol. He's boring to tears and has a joke flatter than the ground.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket and you take it out to see who could have texted you so late. Of course, you already guessed, even before you see for Dohun's name on the phone.
"Candy, I can take you to the university tomorrow. I remember when you talked to Suyong on the phone and you agreed that you would go together to choose a topic for your diploma. I have some business tomorrow in the area of your campus, so we're on the way 😉"
You read the message and close the cocoa-talk without answering Doohoon. You roll your eyes upwards. Your eyes seem to see inside your skull. It's so annoying, he's so intrusive. You'd rather travel across Seoul by subway and bus ten times by yourself than be in Doohoon's company for an extra 40 minutes. Even if the trip takes 1.5 hours, you're calm and nothing stresses you out.
You come to work, change your clothes. You take over from your partner's shift. You tolerate his several stupid, flat jokes, almost politely, and get to work. Actually, today you had to arrange the new ramen that arrived, remove the expired food boxes from the display window, and that's it.
You didn't start working right away, around twelve o'clock in the morning, you had people coming in, and you served people almost one by one. When the flow of people ended, you were able to start arranging the goods. You did the ramen quickly. The food boxes were next in line.
You had almost finished collecting the expired food when you heard the sound of the "wind song", which meant that someone had come. You went to the counter where the cash register was and saw Mr. Yon. He was a man of about 45 and he worked in the police. You were friends with him and had interesting conversations about his work. He came in early today. You looked at the clock and saw 12.21. He usually came for groceries at 1 am or even 2 am. His work took up all his free time, so he didn't have a family.
"Are you going to have dinner early, Mr. Yon?" - You asked with a smile on your lips, holding a whole stack of food boxes. The man heard you and walked over, smiling back.
"Good night, beautiful. You're working so hard, isn't it hard for you? Let me help you." - Mr. Yon offered to help you. You shook your head in refusal.
"Thanks, but no. I've already done it. You choose what you want to eat, and I'll go to the service room and leave the boxes. That's all I have to do and my night is free." - You say. Mr. Yon smiles at you awkwardly, scratches the back of his head, and walks to the shelves with the kimpabs. You put the expired food in the warehouse and hurry back behind the counter.
Mr. Yon is taking pibimbap, onigiri with tuna in an egg, and fish cake with soup.
"How was your day today? Did you finally find out who stole that van?" - You asked about the case Mr. Yon was working on. You had a warm relationship with him, so he sometimes shared details of his work with you. Mr. Yon smiled that you were interested in his case and replied in a friendly manner.
"Yes, I know who is him. Now I just need to find him and then everything will become clearer." - The detective replies. The two of you listen to the sound of the cash register, and the man lets out a scream. You smile in confusion.
"I forgot to get a makgeolli, I want to relax a little." - He says and goes to the shelves with the algogol. While you're packing and waiting for Mr. Yon, someone else enters the store. The sound of the "wind song" doesn't let you miss anyone.
You see out of the corner of your eye that it is a young man dressed in all black. He has a cap on his head, also black, and a wide hood over it. He does not raise his head to you, so you do not greet him. He keeps his hands in his karmas and walks to the shelves of ramen’s. You look ordinary, but you feel some slight tension. In any case, you have nothing to fear. There is a detective nearby. Should you ask him to stay until this guy leaves?
Mr. Yon returns with a bottle of makgeolli and two cans of Heineken. You punch the alcohol and name the amount. Mr. Yon pays, and you watch the guy picking out the ramen. His cap hides his face well. You take the money and count the change. You want to ask the detective to stay with you and talk for a while (until this suspicious guy leaves), but while you're counting the money, his phone rings.
"Yes." - Mr. Yon answers the phone. He is silent for a long moment, you give him the change and he takes it. "I'm at the convenience store near my house right now, but I can be there in 20 minutes. Wait for me and interview the witnesses when I get there." - Mr. Yon takes the whole bag of food in his hands and smiles at you disappointedly. "I guess I won't be able to relax as much as wanted, and it’s seems I didn’t be able to eat dinner too." - You smile nervously. The detective won't be able to stay. Okay, then you'll have to taken the “panic” button.
"It's just the way the job is. What will you do?" - You say politely.
"That's right. Have a cood night, beautiful, I'll see you tomorrow?" - He asks, getting ready to leave.
"Yes, I'm working the night shift again tomorrow." - You say kindly. Mr. Yon throws you a satisfied smile.
"See you then." - He says and leaves. You stay behind the counter and feel your tension rising. The guy in black is standing by the shelves with ramen as the detective leaves. You sit down on a chair, put the panic button in your pocket, which was meant to be used to call a private security service. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the guy go to the shelves with kimpabs and onigiri. He took some food and headed in your direction.
You don't know why, but your heart started pounding and your breathing became rapid. You tried to calm him down.
"Good night." - You greeted him, not looking up when the young man came to the counter. You waited for him to put the food on the table so you could run it through the cash register.
Your heart sank to your heels as he placed the ramen on the table and you saw the tattoo on his arm. A purple heart near his thumb, a crown on his index finger, an inscription with his initials, and an emoticon with a curved eyebrow that conveys irony or sarcasm. These tattoos can belong to only one person.
"Good night." - You hear a velvety voice, with a slight hoarseness. The voice you missed so much. A voice that instantly set your whole being on fire.
Jungkook was standing in front of you, smiling slightly, and you wanted to fall through the ground just to avoid seeing him. Just not to hear that your favorite voice. You seem to have forgotten how to breathe. You come to when he steals a box of cooked rice and a few corndogs next to ramen. You don't know what to do. But you're in a fog, so you look down and punch the goods.
Jungkook does not continue the dialog with you. He doesn't ask you anything, just waits in silence for you to tell him how much the food is.
"5900 won." - You don't say it as confidently as you want to sound.
"I will card payment, please." - He says. And you feel like you're in an invisible press. You're nervous and it shows in your hands, which tremble as you get ready the payment to the card.
Jungkook sees your hands shaking, but he doesn't say anything. He is trembling just like you, only inside. He has been wanting to come to you for so long. He forbade himself all three Sundays, which he barely lived without you. But his desire was unbearable. He had to see you, he had to hear your sweet voice, without which he cannot imagine his life. That why he here.
Jungkook doesn't know how to fix everything. He realizes that he has ruined everything. He turned their relationship into a house of cards, and now it's fallen down. But he has to start from the beginning. He wants you by his side, and if it takes years, he won't hesitate to spend them. This time he will try to control everything and make sure that no one lays a finger on you. He knows he can do it no matter what it takes.
That's why he doesn't say anything to you, he just stands there quietly and admires your beautiful face. Damn, have you become even more beautiful? Have you become even more attractive? Have you always been this fascinating?
Jungkook puts the card on the counter and the payment sounds. Jungkook takes the food.
"Does the microwave work here?" - Jungkook asks, taking a step away from the counter. You stare at him, not sure whether to lie to make him leave or tell him the truth that he's staying. Jungkook is waiting too. He knows. That if you tell the truth, it will be a sign to him that you want him to stay.
"It's working." - You say without looking at him. Your desire to have him around is stronger than any common sense you've ever had. You want to be with him. Let him eat in one place near you.
Let him stay in your life forever.
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↰ Previous chapter ⋮ ≣ Index ↓ ⋮ Next chapter ↱
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Note from author: By the way, for this part, I was inspired by the BTS song "House of Cards". It always reminded me of the motives of the mafia. And I also thought it perfectly described Y/N and Jungkook's relationship in my story at this particular stage. So if you want to, listen to this song while reading chapter 20.
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sparkles-rule-4eva · 2 days ago
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Idk if I'm gonna make a review post, exactly, but the things that went on with Sonic's character in movie 3 have left me reeling, and dying to analyze. I don't have many screenshots to share, and the ones I do aren't good quality bc the movie's not released digitally yet, but here goes.
For one, the theme of dealing with grief was so well handled. I was hoping they were going to use the parallel of this Sonic losing someone close to him, just like Shadow had, and that's just what they did. What made it even more painful, however, was how Sonic was faced with the possibility of losing a second parental figure.
Shadow saw him hunched over Tom, pleading with him to wake up, and remembered himself doing the same when Maria had died. That was where Shadow saw a bit of himself in Sonic.
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Shadow took mental notes of it, but he didn't back off, though he didn't make any other attempts to hurt Tom. Heck, he wouldn't have attacked in the first place if Tom hadn't been disguised as Walters.
And just... watching the way Sonic just started spiraling after this scene was so heartbreaking. The way he looked so lost and broken as they were taking him away in the ambulance, when Maddie didn't say anything to them, and the camera just zoomed out for a few seconds, showing him and his brothers looking so small and so lost in the world as they were left alone, unsure if their dad would be okay.
Sonic didn't want comfort. After the initial fear and grief, the anger he'd felt earlier when he turned on Shadow came back with a vengeance, quite literally. Looking at their calmer, almost normal everyday life earlier in the movie, it seems everything's fine. Sonic seemed fine and perky. I was taken aback at how calm he was about finding his old cave. He seemed fine, all things considered from earlier in his life. The Before Times, as fanfics have dubbed them.
But the moment his found family was threatened, the moment he was faced with the possibility of losing the home and love he'd finally gotten after so many years of pain and isolation, he fell apart. He became aggressively protective of it. Of course he would want to defend those he loves, but not like this. Not the Sonic we know.
The way Shadow phrased it later, "What kind of hero abandons his friends to seek revenge? Abandons his family?"
That struck a nerve, but Sonic just snapped back, "Don't you dare talk about my family."
The expressions he had after he'd taken the Master Emerald and gone after Shadow were so complex. You can see the mix of emotions on his face. Most clearly, the anger. But mixed in, you see the pain, the grief, the paralyzing fear of losing someone else, and you see how emotionally fragile he really is.
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Shadow scoffs about how he'd thought that Sonic cared for them. "Especially the one, what's his name again? Tom?"
And that pushed him over the edge.
The way he just let out that chilling scream of rage and grief and went on to punch Shadow so hard he quite literally sent him flying straight into the moon. He was enraged. He was distressed. He was spiraling. And he was, for a few minutes, completely out of control.
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We know that this version of Sonic is not so reserved about killing people, like the game version. In the second movie, Sonic had every intention of killing Robotnik in the final battle, and he thought he succeeded. This marks the second time that if someone threatens Sonic's family, he's out for blood. In that vein, he's like his game counterpart; it's the safety of his loved ones, not himself, that he's concerned about. Passionate about.
Except.
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He could not bring himself to do it.
I think part of him was remembering what Walters had said about Shadow having experienced loss, the way he had.
He'd won here. He could've just killed Shadow right then and there. Shadow was even goading him into just doing it. Demanded what he was waiting for. Pointing to his own chest and yelling that he was right there. To just do it. (Another thing to analyze; Shadow was just done with everything and didn't even care if he died at this point, but that's for another post.)
But something was stopping him.
Even in those screenshots, you can see the pain and anger mixed on his face. I could be mistaken, but it looks like there's a tear in his eye. (If I'm right, the idea of him crying during this fight makes me break apart in sadness.)
And then came the flashback. This is what drives me insane.
In Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow is out to destroy the world, and it's remembering Maria's true final wish that stopped him.
I never could've predicted that in this version, it was Sonic who was out to kill someone, kill Shadow, but remembering Tom's words to him about not letting his pain change who he is was what stopped him. Sonic was the one who needed to stop and remember. And that's just what he did. 🥺
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And then, only then, was he able to calm down, remember himself, remember what Tom would want him to do. He wasn't handling this the same way he'd handled Longclaw's death. He was turning into exactly what Shadow had become. The horror at realizing what he'd nearly become, what he'd almost done, set in.
He made the right choice in the end because of that. Just like Shadow did in the games. Just like he later did here, too. But Shadow was able to have "redemption" of sorts in this version, not because of some talk, but because he saw the example in Sonic, right in front of him.
We know what happened next, I'm not gonna go much into it. But seeing this whole side of Sonic, the side that just barely slipped out in the last movie, was so, so fascinating. I love how each movie continues to explore him as the main character, in a different way. This one probably got me crying the most. I cried even as I wrote this post and put more pieces together. The more I think about it, the more I love it. 🥹😭💙💛❤️
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abbysimsfun · 2 days ago
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Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 123 (Struggling Through 💕Love Day💕)
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Conrad left Rafa at the abandoned shipwreck and made his way to the docks before he called Heather. "Thank the Watcher, you're okay!" she cried when the picture connected. "The precinct said the wifi in Sulani's terrible and to wait until morning, but I couldn't sleep last night."
"I slept a lot longer than I planned," he lamented.
"What do you mean? What happened?"
He smiled. "I ran into some trouble but I'm fine. I'll tell you all about it when I get home but everything's okay. Well, not everything...I found George and his wife in their villa."
"Why did they go silent?"
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"The exact reason you'd think. (Especially if you're @changingplumbob and @matchalovertrait!) Now I've got another murder to solve."
Heather sighed. "I'm sorry you had to see that."
"It's fine. I'm just at the docks waiting for the jetty to take me to the airport. I sent some evidence home with the bodies and I'll have to meet them on the other side."
"What happens to everything in town that George had his hands in now that he's gone?"
Conrad shrugged. "I guess we're about to find out."
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"I'm glad you're okay. You're really all I want for Love Day, you know. Oh! Ash made tissue paper flowers for someone at school. He says he's not sure who he'll give them to, but I think he might have made them for Scotti Holiday. Maybe his teacher."
Conrad laughed. "Is it terrible to say I hope he gives them to his teacher?"
"Mmhmm. I like Summer and Travis, but she's..." Scotti Holiday was a nine-year-old mean girl, but Heather didn't want to speak ill of a kid and changed the subject. "The kids both made cards for you."
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"I'm trying to get home before Love Day's over. I love you so much."
"I love you, too."
Heather hung up and found Lavender in the living room playing with Gord and a purple toy. "Drago rawrrrrr!" she cried, letting the winged creature dance on the end of Gord's nose.
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The beautiful Bernese barked and played along, happily wagging his tail. Heather smiled. "Are you ready to head to daycare, Lavender?"
"I like home!" she cried, but she never protested too long and rarely threw a tantrum.
Heather helped her toddler into her outerwear as she locked up the house, and three-year-old Lavender glanced at her dog. "Watch house, Go-dee! See lay-doe."
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The romantic spirit of Love Day filled the air at the clinic, as unflirty Heather witnessed her vet techs, Kaori and Rico, struggle to hide their new affections. Even while he mopped up after sick pets.
The radio was playing nothing but love songs, and Heather retreated to the bathroom for a moment of peace. Conrad was fine, she reminded herself. He might even make it home before the end of Love Day. But now that George Brindleton was dead, the town he held together might be about to split apart at the seams. She was worried for it.
The restroom's garish wallpaper didn't calm her nerves, and as she grabbed a glass of water she dreamed of the swatches her architect in Evergreen Harbour had sent over through the winter. Spring was coming soon, and then she'd have a clinic remodel to worry about, too.
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While Heather stressed her way through Love Day, Ash left school on Deadgrass Isle. He was full of chocolates handed out by his teacher and feeling energetic, jumping down the steps two at a time. He'd held on to his tissue paper flowers all day, unsure who to give them to until the end of school bell.
Heading toward the docks, he noticed an old man sitting alone on a bench overlooking the wild waves of the sea. Ash had seen him before, but he wasn't supposed to talk to strangers.
They made eye contact, and the old man looked surprised when Ash threw up his hand in a wave. He seemed like a nice enough man to talk to, and Deadgrass Isle was crowded with people at this time of day.
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His friends, Arron Kalani and Scotti Holiday, headed toward the ferry to the mainland. "Ash, are you coming?"
"I'll take the next boat, I'm okay!" he said. "That old man looks lonely over there."
Scotti looked behind him in confusion. "What old man? You're kinda strange sometimes, Ash Landgraab."
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Undeterred, Ash walked the path to say hello, dragging a heavy backpack full of books for extra credit behind him. Maybe the old man was the right person to give his paper flowers.
"Hello, sir. Are you alone out here?" Ash set down his bag, which immediately started to pick up big crystals of snow from the isle's notoriously heavy snowfall.
Ben looked at the child, startled and uncomfortable. He'd never been good around children, and his years as a ghost on an island populated with a school hadn't changed anything.
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"Y-you can see me?" ->
<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 2.1 Summary
Gen 1 Start | Gen 1 Summary
WCIF: Main image created with Canva's free Vintage Blank Notes Instagram Story template. Something a little bit different to mark the holiday but also their distance apart. It also pays tribute to Ash's paper flowers which I wasn't sure how to recreate in game (they're from a pop up which dictated this scene and the next episode!)
When Valentine's Day rolls around, or before then, I'll make it up to Conther for having to deal with murder investigations for my plot instead of having a nice lil' Love Day together. Maybe we'll even get another event I can play with!
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svensklangblr · 6 months ago
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had so few customers today that i was able to read well over 100 pages while on the clock and getting paid, finished my book and took the bus to buy two annie ernaux books after work
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clownsnake · 8 months ago
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dokja doing his best time and time again to help junghyeok with regressor depression…. I see the sauce being cooked here
#it’s gay sauce#for gay people.#going post#Orv#tbh dokja I think you should just tell junghyeok everything at this point. not for gay reasons but to make things easier#these two work rlly well together when junghyeok isn’t trying to kill dokja imagine how they’d be if they were fully on the same page too#every day there’s a new fuckin dokkaebi. where do they keep getting these guys#and why do they keep getting cuntier#A THANOS SNAP???#choosing between a thanos snap and killing the strongest incarnation. alright everyone time to speed up on the killing nirvana thing I gues#Junghyeok relying on the predictability of knowing everything…. You can take the man out of the timeloop but you can’t take the timeloop ou#of the man#(I know he’s not out of his regressions but sh)#‘I can’t think of a way to correct this’ junghyeok aren’t you supposed to be smart? Stop being stupid#dokja gets me. that’s why he’s also a reader#Ohhh okay we’re having a Big Talk now. good job dokja#‘But the real problem is when you’ve finally managed to save the world’ THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!!!! DOKJA GETS ME#YOU CAN TAKE THE MAN OUT OF THE TIMELOOP BUT YOU CANT TAKE THE TIMELOOP OUT OF THE MAN!#unless junghyeok kicks his regressor’s depression in the ass and learns not to rely on knowing future scenarios so much.#and they’re on a rooftop…. The symsbsnolismm….#Oh wait dokja’s making a different point#ah. ptsd.#well that’s part of my argument I guess#Ohhhhh I love dokja getting to be a prophet rn. and junghyeok realizing he’s onto some shit#‘This world you’re about to abandon could be the only world where you can live to see it end as a human being’ OOOOF. OOF.#that’s heavy#Anyway time for comic relief. sorry Uriel but no gay sex yet#‘Who’s the strongest incarnation?’ Junghyeok: no doubt it’s me#……………………………….#DOKJA IS ALSO CONSIDERING HIMSELF THE STRONGEST?? GUYS
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dbphantom · 8 months ago
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you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight
#so really this is all your fault /lh /j#i love thinking about h2o tho so im happy#VERY FUCKING TIRED THO WISH I COULD SLEEP#i think my brain is kicking into overdrive after being filled with cotton the past 3 days which. hey im glad ur back bud#CAN YOU SHUT UP NOW I NEED REST#i was just thinking because im probably not posting that essay i will summarize here (i saw#that privating it made it lose like 4 recently edited paragraphs and i don't want to type all that out again my memory isn't good enough)#it just boiled down to the pods basically making a self fulfilling prophecy by orphaning their sons and making them increasingly#desperate for connections to other people like them which is why i think erik behaves the way he does esp when ondina is around#like i am not excusing his actions in the slightest dont get me wrong here he really fucked up BUT#his last conversation with ondina before he goes to the chamber kind of sold that idea to me#how he scoffs at her saying rita says it's dangerous because she's 'old school' and of COURSE old school mermaids think all mermen are evil#and then starts adding on how he wants to do this for HER and get her home back for her by controlling it#like a bit of an add-on at the end to try and convince her#i think what he really wants is to be hailed as a hero. you know. validation and acceptance from the ppl who originally abandoned him#the OGs who made him feel like an outsider. the ppl who ripped everything away from him just bc of the way he was born (which is prob why#when he's trying to convince zac to help him he keeps bringing up their ancestors bc that's what unifies them)#i don't think he's an evil dude per se i think he thought stealing the trident stone from rita's grotto would be small peanuts in the past#once he finally got the pod to come home bc he genuinely (mistakenly) believed he COULD control the power of the chamber#i also think that's why the camera keeps focusing on his face when he's watching the others panic over#zac's sacrifice and i think he is feeling jealousy bc they are paying attention to him and not Erik#like that's not the face of someone who deeply regrets what they just did. my guy is just sitting there like 'that should be me rn'#i think that is why he also sounds so desperate to make things right with ondina afterwards. iirc he's just like 'wait no we can start ove#RIGHT?' and she's like 'uhhhh... no??????' (valid). my dude is lonely as fuck and he finally found a group of ppl like him and he messed up#big time just trying to get their attention and affection bc he couldn't just be normal abt it he had to go big or go home#like i kind of feel bad for him in a way#but i feel bad for everyone#i felt bad for denman the other day! that's how bad this is getting!!#i mean come on imagine making the scientific discovery of a LIFETIME only for all that shit to happen in a row#especially after you get your comeback. they just go right back to fucking you over again
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astrarche-x · 2 years ago
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back to obsessing over Richard
at first he doesn't seem to have any obvious fatal flaws - no hubris, no hunger for power etc
but his fatal flaw is this little voice in his head that whispers sometimes ''maybe violence IS the answer tho"
it's not like he believes that it's a good solution; but sometimes it's the more reliable solution. more efficient solution. faster solution.
and oh how he wants to speedrun his way back to being respectable citizen
(which is, of course, very ironic given the methods. but deep down he believes that he's so good at killing he can afford being immoral. he tries to get rid of this belief but to no avail.)
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astrxealis · 2 years ago
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sometimes i think of scenarios in my head with my ocs and then sometimes for happy brain i kinda crossover them with my favorite medias atm and also insert myself in bcs i like being self-indulgent and yeah my brain is so fucked up that i just keep repeating the same first bits and can't get far in thinking and i end up just having my s/i ramble my thoughts and it's hard to explain but yeah but anyways it's interesting thinking about who or what my ocs would like in video games or colors or whatever because all my ocs seem to reflect a certain part of me and i can get into the psychology of that but also its hard to explain my thoughts but also anyways yeah i find it interesting thinking about who my ocs would kin
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#feel free to just ignore me oopsies i am just rambling but yeah i love my ocs so much#sorry besties you are all subject once more to my brainrots and rambles and random thoughts now that i am on tumblr rn#my brain is very interesting to me and the way i think but also i can't properly think in such a way and i find it really hard to explain#and i'm such a mess but also man i don't know and i'm going off-track and god i love vgm so much and i don't want to do homework#but anyways back to the goddamn point !!! so my oc merle. i have little crossover thoughts in my head right and i realize#he's similar with akira and then it makes sense as to why i like characters like akira and it's a little woa fr bcs#the way i imagine merle is really similar to akira actually but with a more purple color scheme (but still dark) and he doesn't wear#glasses (at least. wait. actually. i don't really know anymore) GOD my mind never stops but yeah uhm yeah#i think humans are so unbelievably interesting and it's all just so fascinating and and and#also i've awakened to the fact i really like sharks i think they're very cute! i still prefer dolphins though#people who hurt animals make me really angry and sad... i think about it and already want to cry#i have never had a pet but my grandparents had lots and it's funny how memory works. i forgot they once had a pet turtle#until something in a school group project involved my group involving a pet turtle in our storyline for something#and then i remember that past. my past. once again. and clearly even! and... yeah#but yeah... i know i will never abandon my pet if ever i do get a pet. or pets. i would never do that and i really know this is a fact with#all my heart but what's stopping me from getting a pet is that i need to take better care of myself first and learn how to take care of#pets! i think where i live there's actually an opportunity for me to do so. i'll try to see more about that. and hmm... this is a really#busy year for school. and then the next. and then tbh everything onwards from 2023 so... i don't want to put time to something#i'm not even sure if i can really make time for. but. i think i really do want a pet! a dog esp. but also a cat. but a dog esp#bcs i've always wanted one !! i know when it comes to something i really want i am very dedicated and passionate#like how i already calculated xiv expenses months before actually got the game? and planned how me and lune would do things too#and then because i want to handle money better and take note of all that i yeah and yeah and yeah im tired of typing now BYE#will now disappear again after rambling quite a lot ^__^ maybe? maybe not? who knows!#my thoughts are so. whack. wack? idk. but uhm yeah it went from ocs to sharks to pets to money and idk huh#man w some things i'm really shy about being perceived or asked about. like my ocs. egbhebgjhbjehs ;;;;;#and people being nice to me T__T sorry i rlly appreciate it but i can't really comprehend it and my coping mechanism is avoidance
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lokissweater · 3 months ago
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miss pretty
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{single dad!katsuki bakugo x kindergarten teacher f!reader}
summary: katsuki bakugo has never liked mess and always made sure his son and his life reflected just that. with years worth of a sparkling clean and organized home, toys put away and not once scattered about, and a barking knack over any calls of disorder in his life— meeting you, his sons sweet and sugary kindergarten teacher who was the definition of pure and who was for some reason turning his fiery heart into complete goo— was altering his boring strict cycles of no messes around… and for the better.
warnings: cursing, FLUFFF GALORE MY GAWD??, no smut but a lil steamy something, slight angst, afab!reader, katsuki thinks you are an ANGEL, sunshine x grumpy trope, mentions of abandonment, WHOLESOME AFFF, use of y/n, all characters are aged up.
word count: 11.4k
authors note: THIS MAKES ME WANT TO BE A MOTHERRRRR omg this one is sickeningly sweet and i’ve gotten a few requests to do sunshine x grumpy with sir katsuki and i WAS ALLL OVERRR ITTT i hope i fulfilled!!! <333 THANK YOU THANK YOU AS ALWAYS FOR ALL OF YOU BEING SOOO SWEETT TO MEEE I LOVE YOUUUU MWAAAHHH :] <33333
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katsuki bakugo hated messes.
“oi!” he grunted, his son’s little head turning to look at him as he munched on his gummy fruit snacks from the backseat. “you better not leave that wrapper in here. take it outside with you when i drop you off.”
“kaaayyy!” his son dragged out happily, completely unphased by his dads snappy personality as he contemplated on which color fruit gummy to eat next.
“and wash your hands too. ask your teacher.”
“mhm!” he chirped.
“and don’t be a brat. pay attention.”
“yup yup!”
and for the most part, his life reflected that almost entirely— raising his son to always clean up after himself and not make bombastic huge messes around the house, begrudgingly understanding that he’s a small growing human, that a little spill of apple juice or two is basically guaranteed… but he just hated mess, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t raise his son right to be a clean and organized man even at five years old— katsuki keeping everything in his life practically spotless.
that was of course, until he met you.
katsuki shoved through the other parents in line as he went up to the front desk in the main office with a grip on his sons little hand, not giving a damn about the glares and huffs of bewilderment he got as there was no way in hell he was gonna wait like an idiot with the rest of them.
the lady at the front desk raised a quizzical eyebrow.
“can i help—”
“where the fuck is room twenty four.”
her eyes bulged open as the rest of the parents in line softly gasped and murmured.
“e—excuse me?—”
he rolled his eyes.
“room twenty four.” he pushed. “where is it?”
“sir— if you need me to help you i’d like you to wait in line until—”
“hah?! absolutely not.” he spat. “if i wait in that fucking line my son’s gonna be late why can’t you just tell me—”
“uh sir if you could—”
katsuki’s son giggled as he continued to spout profanities at the poor front desk lady.
“—sir please no foul language there are children around—”
“i don’t give a shit! just tell me where room twenty four is what the hell is so hard about that?!—”
“oh! that’s my class!”
katsuki snapped his head over, fiery red eyes shooting towards the voice until they landed on yours.
“is he one of my kids?” you smiled sweetly, eyes coming down to look at his son.
“oh—” he let his shoulders relax just a tad as he watched you fix the strap of his sons backpack on his shoulder. “i mean— if your class is twenty four—“
“it is!” you beamed, nudging your head. “i’ll show you where!”
“hiii miiiissss!” his son greeted, happy and silly as he followed you down the hall.
“hi honey!” you gushed, just as excited as he was as you patted over his blonde scruffy hair. “what’s your name?”
“milo!”
“nice to meet you milo! are you excited for your first day?”
“yeaaahh!” he cheered, smile bright as he grabbed your hand.
katsuki’s eyes widened.
“milo!” he snapped lowly. “what’d i tell ya? you can’t grab her hand like that you have to ask—”
“oh it’s alright!” you dismissed, smiling. “i don’t mind it at all! the other kids do it too.”
milo snickered and stuck his little tongue out at his dad, and katsuki rolled his eyes.
“is he yours?” you asked kindly, tilting your head.
“who else would he be…” he grumbled.
“i guess you’re right!” you giggled. “he looks just like you.”
katsuki’s eyes flickered to yours before dropping back down, a permanent furrow in his brows as you all rounded the corner.
“here we are—”
“ooo! ooo!” milo hopped up and down. “miss you have race cars?! dad can i please go?!”
he looked over, a mountain of toys scattered about in the classrooms play area, little kids already making a damn mess and the school day hadn’t even officially started yet.
“the hell you asking me for? ask your tea—”
“miss miss can i please go play with the race cars?!—”
“of course my love! go! go have fun.” you smiled, gently ushering him on before milo zoomed over to the play area and crouched down with the rest of the kids.
“oi!” katsuki barked. “put them away when you’re done!”
he huffed under his breath as he watched his son give him a thumbs up and fucking dump the entire bucket of race cars down on the ‘abc’ play rug, taking one in each hand and dragging them across floor.
“he’s so cuteee.” you grinned. “i’m glad he’s not afraid being it’s his first day.”
“oh fuck no.” he mumbled. “milo doesn’t care. the little runt doesn’t have a filter and does whatever the hell he wants without askin’ sometimes.”
he leaned against the doorsill as he watched milo converse with another kid and share a car, satisfaction in his chest that his son was sharing and being nice.
“but i guess he gets that from me.” he finished off.
you nodded. “but that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
he pursed his lips.
“in my experience, not really.”
you hummed.
“i think it’s definitely a good thing… i’d rather be assertive of things and not be afraid of what the consequences will be.”
katsuki looked at you, properly this time.
“what’s a kindergarten teacher afraid of?”
you shrugged, a slow playful grin spreading across your face.
“parents.”
he snorted, crossing his arms over his chest and you quickly had to look away, a pink buzz to your cheeks at the way his big built arms flexed.
inappropriate inappropriate inappropriate—
“i don’t know how you do it..” he spoke lowly.
“do what?”
“take care of little shits all day.”
you laughed loudly, reeling over a bit as he watched you out of the corner of his eye.
“i don’t take care of them! i teach them.” you quipped cutely. “they’re small, but this is when their brains drink up the most knowledge… and i love to see the progress from the beginning of the year compared to the end! i love it all really.”
pure.
katsuki curtly nodded, your sweet positive ambiance throwing him completely off, as he doesn’t think he’s ever met or surrounded himself around someone who’s directly emmitted the feeling of sunshine and rainbows and candy as much as you did.
and his cheeks flared up for some reason.
“oh!” you looked to the time on your little wrist watch and walked inside your classroom. “it’s almost time to start! i have to wrangle them all in their seats heh!”
katsuki swallowed and nodded.
“milo!”
he turned and upon seeing his dad wave him over, milo dropped his toys and bounded to him.
“don’t give her a hard time alright?” he spoke sternly, nudging his head over at you for emphasis. “listen. listen and learn and be the best one in there.”
“kaaayyy!”
“and you let me know if any of the other kids mess with you or you deal with it yourself. you already know how—”
“beat the crap out of them!” he cheered loudly and katsuki’s hand flew to clasp over his sons mouth before his frantic eyes looked at you.
the last thing he needed was someone to call up fucking child protective services on him.
“he’s joking! he’s joking… fuck.”
you giggled hard and clutched your stomach, your pretty smile sending katsuki for a loop.
“no you’re absolutely right!” you waved your hands in front of your face, reassuring. “treat others the way you want to be treated, so if someone’s being mean to you, bite back milo, okay? and also let me know first though!”
katsuki gave you a wobbly tiny smile amidst his branded serious face, looking at his son then and ruffling up his hair.
“okay, go.” milo ran off. “and don’t let me pick you up with dirt all over your clothes ya hear me?!”
“byeee daaaddd!”
you could tell that behind his harsh exterior— the slight purse of his lips, stiff frame and bouncing leg gave away that he was only worried about his kid and his first day of school, a sight you’ve seen time and time again since you started working as a kindergarten teacher, and one that never failed to warm your heart.
“don’t worry!” you sweetly smiled, and katsuki switched his gaze over to yours. “i’ll watch him especially… okay? to ease the nerves.”
he softly snorted, attempting to play it off but internally relieved as he pushed himself off the doorsill and nodded, thankful that the teacher milo got was as kind as you.
“um…” he mumbled. “katsuki.”
you tilted your head. “katsuki?”
“it’s my name idiot.”
“oh!” you giggled, a blush rising in your cheeks again as you tried to simmer it down. “nice to meet you katsuki! i’ll see you after school then with milo?”
he stiffly nodded, the way his name sounded so sugary off your tongue something he’d never heard before in his life or was used to at all.
“…ya gonna tell me yours or what?”
“sorry!” you sputtered, laughing nervously. “sorry it just— flew! you know—”
you stuck your hand out and offered it to him.
“y/n!”
katsuki untangled his arms and firmly shook it, grip strong and one that nearly made you stumble forward as you caught yourself and smiled.
“i’ll see you katsuki!”
out of all of the kids you’ve taught, milo was by far the cutest one.
the little man was like your personal assistant— a little bee buzzing around as he followed you everywhere in the classroom and helped you clean up after the rest of the kids that didn’t, ‘yelling’ at some of them to and cutely scolding them whenever he’d catch them leave some things behind, and was always on watch for you like a security guard with his little balled up fists on his hips, surveilling the classroom for any misbehaving kids or messes that you’d missed throughout the day.
all traits you no doubt knew he got from katsuki, even if you had just met him. it was pleasantly obvious.
“thanks for helping me out today, milo!” you gushed, pushing another students chair in as they all sat down and chattered for lunch. “you made my job a lot easier!”
“really?!” he squealed, big glimmering eyes beaming up at you before he happily chowed down on some apple slices.
and you noticed then milo’s lunch was insane, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut up and molded neatly into the shape of panda bears, his watermelon and apple slices shaped like stars with carrots and celery lined up with a little wedge of lemon if he wished, tiny rice balls on the side for a little snack you figured in case what he had didn’t fill him up— all so considerate and careful…
“wow!” you exclaimed, kneeling down next to him. “your lunch looks so yummy my love! did your mommy make this?”
“nuh uh!” he shook his head, cheeks filled with watermelon. “my dad did!”
you faltered.
“katsuki made this?”
“who’s katsuki miss?” he asked curiously, sipping on his little juice box after swallowing the fruit in his mouth.
you giggled. “nothing! nothing. enjoy your lunch okay?”
you went to stand, but milo’s hand shot out and caught your wrist.
“can you— can you eat lunch with me?” he mumbled shyly, fiddling with some carrot pieces in his hands. “please.. i always eat with my dad but he’s not here…”
your eyes softened and you quickly nodded.
“of course! let me just go grab my lunch and ill bring it over! sounds good?”
“yaaaayyyy!” he cheered happily, arms up as you scooched a tiny chair over from a nearby table and sat with him, laughing at his cute expression.
you knew you shouldn’t use a little kid to pry… but you were guiltily curious as to know if katsuki was married or not for reasons that made you ridiculously flustered and red in the face over.
and you wanted to be respectful in case he was… since the ogling you did at his muscles this morning through his black ribbed tank was the most embarrassing moment of your career and one you hadn’t seen coming at all, it catching you off guard and feeling horrible if katsuki indeed had a wife.
but he didn’t have a ring on his finger…
“milo?” you spoke up softly.
he smiled big. “yes miss!”
“does your mommy make you lunch as well or just your dad?”
he shook his head. “just my dad! i don’t have a mom.”
your shoulders deflated.
he didn’t have a mom… at all?
you slowly reached over then and patted his blonde hair, smiling warmly as his cheeks went pink. “that’s alright! i’m sure your dad makes you lunches like this every time huh?”
“yeah!” he gasped excitedly. “yesterday he made pizzas and cut them into dinosaurs! it was so cool! and then!— and then this morning for breakfast i had waffles that looked like dynamite blasts!”
“oh my goodness!” you giggled, your heart absolutely thumping over the fact that katsuki was so dedicated to his son like that. “man, i wish my lunches were as cute as yours!”
his little eyes snapped to yours.
“i’ll tell him!”
your brows furrowed confusedly. “wha—”
“to make you lunch! i’ll tell my dad to make you lunch!”
your eyes widened and you frantically shook your head, cheeks blazing as you laughed. “oh no my love! that’s totally okay don’t worry about me silly—”
“i’ll tell him i’ll tell him i’ll tell him!—”
“milo it’s okay! i’m a big girl.” you grinned. “i’m supposed to make my own lunches.”
milo grumbled and plopped a carrot in his mouth, begrudgingly chewing as he sat there in thought.
“…will you at least let me share some of mine?”
you pouted at his generosity, wondering how a kid could be so sweet as you nodded and held your hand up.
“of course sweetie! whatever you wa—”
milo plopped all of his peanut butter sandwiches in your palm and grinned, earning a gasp from you.
“milo this is too much i can’t—”
“eat it! eat it! eait it!—”
by the end of the day, you managed to get milo to take back his sandwiches in exchange for one singular watermelon star piece, him still doing his regular duties of being your little assistant and helping you clean up after everyone before the final bell rang signaling the end of class, you carefully making sure each kiddo got their designated backpack (as there was often a mix up) and art pieces they made for their parents to take home— a permission slip for the end of the year field trip tucked away inside their bags.
and the minute you stepped outside with the rest of the kids, you were surprised to see that katsuki was one of the first parents there as he stood directly across from your classroom with crossed arms, an angry usual scowl on his face that made you laugh to yourself as you led your kids to sit down on a bench in a single file line until their parents physically came to get them or their vehicles pulled up.
“milo!” you tapped his shoulder gently. “your daddy’s over there!”
“DAAADDD!!”
milo jumped up and ran across the grass, his tiny arms out as katsuki smiled softly and crouched down to pick his son up and settle him on his lower abdomen, you wringing your fingers behind your back and walking up to them.
“were you a brat?” he grunted.
“nope!”
“did any kids mess with you?”
“nope!”
“did you leave a mess?”
“nope!”
you giggled, and katsuki’s eyes snapped in your direction.
“how was he?”
“he did so good!” you gushed, patting milo’s back as he grinned. “was my little helper and everything! didn’t leave a single mess behind and helped me clean up after everyone else… he even made sure everyone was paying attention and not misbehaving.”
“yeah! yeah! see dad?” milo poked his dads cheek. “i didn’t lie!”
“never said you lied you little runt.” he scowled. “…but good job.”
“thanks!”
katsuki set him down after milo started kicking his legs and saying something about the swings, him instantly running towards the playground and to the slide.
“did he actually do all of that?” he spoke up.
“oh yes!” you quickly nodded. “i’ve never had a kid do that before so it was really nice of him to!”
you detached your fingers from around your back and fiddled with them.
“you teach him well katsuki.”
he scoffed and turned his head, cheeks pink as he tried to regain his composure.
“damn right i do.”
you giggled then, the memory of milo telling you he didn’t have a mother suddenly popping into your mind as you watched him happily slide down the blue slide head first.
“hey i don’t mean to um..” you timidly began. “i don’t mean to pry but—”
katsuki raised a brow at you and you snapped your mouth shut.
“nothing! nothing nevermind—”
“spit it out.”
“no it’s alright! sorry i—”
he glared and you cowered, smiling bashfully as you bit your bottom lip.
“milo… milo mentioned that he didn’t have a mommy? i was just— wondering if that was true…”
“tch—” he shook his head. “that’s what you were afraid of askin’ me?”
“i told you i’m scared of parents…” you slumped cutely, and he chuckled.
“it’s just me and him.” he answered. “his mom’s never been a part of our lives.”
your heart sunk a little, eyes sad as your gaze shifted to milo playing and racing around with another kid.
“don’t do that.”
you jumped and looked at katsuki.
“do— do what—”
“look all sad and shit.”
he hesitantly reached over and planted an index finger to the crease between your brows, the feeling rough as he tried to gently drag it down and smooth over the lines.
“it’s fine.” he grumbled, letting his arm fall to his side. “it doesn’t bother him. at least i don’t think it does.”
“no!” you spoke quickly, a crazed blush on your cheeks. “it doesn’t! and milo speaks so highly of you… especially the lunches you make him.”
his brows furrowed. “his lunch?”
“yeah!” you nodded excitedly. “you prepare it so so well! how do you get his sandwiches to look like little bears? and his fruit?! every time i try to cut mine into stars they always break in half…”
he huffed out a laugh, finding your little whine funny as he reached over and ruffled up your hair, you smiling cheekily in response.
“do you use molds?” you asked politely. “to shape out the bear?”
“fuck no.” he scoffed. “i do it myself.”
your eyes flew open.
“what?! so that’s really just you? and the dinosaurs too? the pizza dinosaurs? and the waffles? the ones that looked like dynamite blasts—”
“jesus christ how much did that kid tell you?”
your face grew hot as you smacked a hand over your mouth.
“sorry!” you giggled. “i just was thinking— that his lunch was really cute and thoughtful…” you took your hand away from your face. “i’m really glad that you do little things like that for milo to make him happy.”
katsuki stared at you, your swarm of compliments and sweetness and sunshine and butterflies almost suffocating as you looked at him with those pretty doe eyes, his throat oddly closing up the longer he stared right back and allowed you to pull him into your world of wonder and abc blocks and puzzles.
but it wasn’t suffocating in a bad way, not at all.
and… maybe he did want you to pull him in.
“dad dad dad!”
milo ran over, sweaty and red faced as he reached the two of you.
“there’s a dead lizard in the slide!”
“a dead lizard?” you laughed, surprised as you reached for his little water bottle from his backpack on the ground and uncapped the lid, handing it over and ushering him to drink.
katsuki didn’t know why the domestic sight of you doing that made him melt a bit.
a bit.
“yeah miss! it was big and gross.” he breathed out after gulping some of his icy cold water. “but i buried him!”
his dads red eyes snapped down to his and narrowed.
“don’t tell me you touched that thing milo.”
“i did!” he giggled.
“oh my fucking god—” katsuki snatched his hand and started pulling him to the car as milo giggled and stuck his tongue out.
“it’s a prank! some other girl in my class did… but i helped with the dirt!”
you chuckled softly as you watched katsuki stop and roll his eyes, coming back over to you with a hyper milo.
“say bye to your teacher ya little runt. and you’re still taking a shower when you get home!”
“but i don’t wanna take a showeerrr!” milo whined, letting go of his dads hand and running to you, you crouching and extending your arms big with a pretty smile.
“bye my love!” you hugged him tight as he giggled. “i’ll see you tomorrow okay? and give your daddy a break. no more digging up dirt and playing with dead lizards.”
“kaayyyy!”
you both let go and he stepped back, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before bouncing back to his dad.
katsuki choked on his spit.
“oi!” he barked. “you can’t just kiss her cheek milo the hell is going on with you?!—”
“it’s okay don’t worry!” you smiled kindly. “he’s just being sweet is all! i don’t mind.”
“you sure?” he pushed, milo snickering. “i—”
you waved him off and wrung your fingers behind your back, leaning forward.
“i’ll see you tomorrow morning kats!”
and he froze, nodding hard as he quickly took milo’s hand and backpack before walking to the car, his heart completely aflame in his chest and cheeks red as he led his babbling son further into the parking lot and inside the car, buckling him up in his car seat before hopping in himself and starting the engine, unbelieving that he had barely just met you and he was already thinking and acting like a fucking dumbass.
“and then we learned the days of the week! oh!— and we learned numbers! i can count to fifteen dad!”
“that’s good milo.” he responded, pulling out of the schools parking lot and craning his neck to see if he could catch a final glimpse of you and settling once he did, you so pretty and conversing so nicely with another kid until he was out of the lot.
“did you eat all of your lunch? y/n tells me ya shared with her.”
“i did! i did share with her.” he grinned. “she liked my lunch!”
“good.” katsuki gave him a thumbs up through the rear view mirror. “that’s good that you always share. especially with her.”
“yup yup! she’s preeettyyy.”
he rolled his eyes, but a small smile grew at the corner of his lips as he nodded curtly.
“that she is.”
katsuki continued to drop off his son personally at your classroom every morning before school.
even when it had been a couple of months into the year, at this point many students already used to their route to and out of class and their parents just dropping them off and leaving— them not even allowed on campus as security rounded every corner and told any parents who wished to go in that they weren’t supposed to, as per policy.
but not katsuki.
katsuki didn’t give a fuck as he stormed through the main office and ignored the calls of the front desk lady, her already used to the rude asshole who came through the building every morning as he strode by and down the hall to class twenty four… wanting to see you— his son’s pretty kindergarten teacher that was sweet and joyful and someone who was everything he wasn’t, his mind curious and filled with your giggles and smiles throughout the time that he’d gotten to know you and chat with you in the mornings and the afternoons, loving the way you were with milo and treated him like he was literally your own— always watching over him and making sure he had had enough to eat and drink and that his hands were washed when he wasn’t around.
and even katsuki himself— you bringing him candy bags from their classroom parties or donuts that were passed to faculty in the mornings and saving yours for him, treats he always took and ate with no questions asked even though he wasn’t a fan of sugary shit and junk food, always making the exception for you.
he had never experienced honest help like that… he’d never experienced someone caring enough about him and his son like the way you did so perfectly every single day…
and katsuki feared that he was a little obsessed.
“oh! miss y/n!”
“yes honey?” you responded kindly, opening a juice pouch for another student and handing it to them carefully during lunch.
milo dug into his lunch pail and pulled out a small container, sticking his hand up and offering it to you.
your brows furrowed, taking it from him.
“what’s this milo?”
“it’s from my dad!”
you stopped, heart dropping to your ass as you recounted his words.
from katsuki?
“your— your dad?”
“mhm!”
you shakily popped the lid of the container open, eyes widening and filling with hearts once you saw a mix of star shaped strawberries and watermelon and papayas, drizzled over with sparkling strings of honey and singular little blueberries scattered about.
“for me?” you asked softly, crouching down next to milo. “my love— are you sure this isn’t for you? i think your dad cut these up for you—”
“nope! for you!” he gave you a big toothy smile before stuffing his mouth with crackers. “he told me not to eat it and to give it to you.”
he swallowed and reached up, you tilting down your head so he could pat it just like you always did for him.
“i hope you like it miss! they look like the ones you told me looked cute!”
“i— i love them milo.. thank you!”
you picked up a papaya piece and ate it, entirely dazed and love struck as your tastebuds savored over the sweet velvety thick honey, literally blinking back tears at how thoughtful and kind katsuki was.
he didn’t have to do this at all… yet he took the time anyways out of his morning to do this for you.
and your heart nearly fucking gave out.
after school once you got your rowdy kids to sit neatly on the bench and wait for their parents, you extended a hand for milo and he hopped off the bench and took it, you both walking up to a waiting katsuki as he stood there with a soft smile on his face.
“hi kats!”
“hey.” he picked his son up and settled him over his abdomen, milo’s arms clinging around his neck and chin propped up on his dads shoulder as he was exhausted from a days worth of playing and learning.
“i wanted to um—” you peered up at him. “i um—”
his brows furrowed, and just as he was about to bark about you stumbling over your words, he stopped.
your bottom lip was trembling.
you hurriedly wiped your eyes.
“i wanted to thank you—” hic! “f—for the star shaped fruit this morning—”
“why are you crying dumbass?” he mumbled, reaching over and wiping some tears with his rough fingers.
“because it was so nice!” you sobbed, shoulders shaking as you let him wipe your cheeks. “and— and you put honey over it too! you didn’t have to do any of that for me!”
“tch—”
he flicked your forehead softly, not enough to hurt you but enough to get you to snap out of your hiccups as you sniffled.
“it’s just fruit y/n—”
“but it’s not.” you wiped your eyes again. “not to me anyways…”
katsuki slowly lowered his arm, gaze tracing over your pretty face and perfect hair and the way you cried over something so stupid, his brain unable to process the fact that an act as simple as cutting fruit up for you could make you this happy, and it made him want to see what you saw for once— how you saw the world for exactly what it was and appreciated it regardless of how big or small things were, not snippy or angry or spiteful over everyone and thinking everything was out to get him and his son.
“crybaby…” he grumbled. “i’m glad you liked it though.”
“i did kats.. a lot. thank you.” you wiped the last of your tears and smiled. “i’m sorry i cried.”
what a pretty sweet girl…
he shook his head and hoisted milo up, him completely knocked out with drool coming out of his mouth as katsuki felt it run down his shoulder, barely even noticing that though as his entire focus was trained purely on you.
was it okay if he… asked you out? would it be weird? would you tell him to fuck off?
katsuki internally rolled his eyes at his stupid fucking high school boy thoughts, though it didn’t alleviate the gnawing feeling that if you did tell him to fuck off… that he’d be angrily mortified at his fail and probably lose the right to talk to you since it’d be too awkward to.
but you were just so fucking sweet. all of the time.
“listen uh—” he cleared his throat, face growing hot. “i was wondering if ya wanted to eat dinner with me… sometime.”
you stared, eyes big and shocked and katsuki took it defensively and entirely the wrong way.
“forget it.” he snapped. “forget it i didn’t say shit—”
“no! no no—” you quickly shook your head. “no it’s okay i would!”
he stopped.
“you would?”
“of course!” you expressed sweetly, cheeks hurting from how big you were smiling as you tried to simmer down your giddy squeals. “i’d love to have dinner with you…”
his tense shoulders slowly relaxed, an eventual small smile growing on his face.
“a—alright uh…” he sighed. “i’d prefer to take ya somewhere nice but i don’t really have anyone to watch milo—”
you shook your head again, brows pinched. “oh no kats— we don’t have to go anywhere at all! we can order something in at your place and eat with milo? or— or my place?”
“my place.” he replied. “and i’ll cook.”
he cooks?!
“okay!” you giggled, your hand reaching up and patting over milo’s sleepy head gently. “sounds good!”
katsuki and you agreed on the details of the date after and bid each other bashful goodbyes, swooning as you watched him walk away into the parking lot with a sleeping milo in his arms and feeling like none of this was fucking real, for you couldn’t believe someone as handsome and cool as katsuki would ever be interested in someone like you.
and funnily enough, he felt the complete opposite, stressed and extra snappy as he cleaned the house from top to bottom (though it barely needed it), unnecessarily fixed the positioning of the furniture and made milo put away his toys, him not even whining or protesting like he usually did solely because the little man knew you were coming— pretty miss y/n with the pretty smile and the nicest lady he had ever met, and one he secretly hoped would be his new mommy every time he saw you and his dad converse before and after school, thinking you would fit the role perfectly.
especially after his dad had given you those fruits as a present!
“milo!” katsuki called. “come ‘ere!”
his son ran into the kitchen, toy race car in hand. “what!”
“be good today, ya hear me?” he pushed, face stern as he flipped a kitchen towel over his shoulder and sautéed vegetables in his frying pan. “please milo. don’t try to be funny and do somethin’ to scare y/n off.”
milo gave him a look.
“scare miss y/n off? dad you’re gonna scare her off not me!” he giggled. “silly.”
“yeah..” he grunted. “you’re probably right but i’m just sayin’. i’m thinking of the time grandma came over and ya put that fake rat in her purse to try and be funny.”
“ohhh yeeeeah!” he doubled over in little fits of laughter, holding his stomach as he did. “i did do that!”
“see what i mean?” katsuki grumbled, snatching the kitchen towel from his shoulder and throwing it down on the counter top, stepping back to peek in the oven. “you better not do that with y/n please.”
“i won’t!” he grinned. “not when she’s about to be my new mommy!”
katsuki choked as his spit went down the wrong pipe, bending over and coughing uncontrollably in his elbow before spinning around and looking at his son with wide eyes and pink cheeks.
“the hell you just say?”
“what!” milo tilted his head. “that y/n is gonna be my new mommy?”
his eyes grew even wider as he dropped the pan he was holding on the stove and leaned back, running his hands over his face.
“oh you little runt please don’t say that in front of her, alright?”
he pouted. “why not?”
“you’ll scare her off! worse than when you put that fake rat in grandmas purse!”
“boooo!” milo stuck his tongue out and crossed his little arms over his chest. “whatever.”
“oi!”
“what!”
katsuki’s doorbell chimed and milo booked it to the front door.
“missss preettyyyy!!—”
“milo get your ass back here!—”
katsuki swung the door open and swooped his son in his arms just as he was about to pounce on you in midair, you giggling and covering your mouth as you watched the scene unfold before you.
“i’m sorry—”
“hiii misss y/nnn!” milo greeted happily, dangling off of his dad as katsuki tried to stop him from wiggling out of his grip. “i’m so exciteeeddd!—”
“hi my love!” you gushed warmly, smile wide as you extended your arms and walked forward, taking milo in your arms and setting him on your hip. “how are you? you excited to hang out with meee?”
“yes! yes!” he vigorously nodded. “i wanna show you all my race cars!”
“oh i can’t wait to seeee!” you bounced him on your hip and he giggled, you turning your attention and smiling at katsuki.
“hi kats!”
“the little brat is hogging—”
milo blew a silly raspberry at him before wrapping his arms around you and shoving his face into your neck.
you laughed and ran a soothing hand over the little man’s back, katsuki rolling his eyes before stepping to the side and letting you in, shutting the door behind him and leading you over to the kitchen.
and jesus christ you looked beautiful, him noting that pink was what you mainly wore on the day to day as he eyed your small rosy cardigan, you walking through his home and looking around and oblivious to the way he was staring at you like a fucking creep.
katsuki bit the inside of his cheek as he watched your eyes scan your surroundings, stupidly nervous about what you’d think of his house and furniture and minuscule decorations, and annoyed with himself that he’d even give a shit about something like that, trying to occupy himself and ignore it as he looked in the oven and lifted lids of various pots and pans, checking over tonight’s dinner.
“i’m sorry i’m behind…” he grumbled and waved his hand around. “had to clean the house and shower milo since he decided to play in the fuckin’ mud this morning.”
“oh you don’t have to apologize for that kats!” you looked at him worriedly. “you don’t have to apologize for anything i totally understand…”
you hoisted milo further up your hip and grinned. “i’m just happy to spend time with the both of you.”
katsuki felt smoke puff out of his red ears as he nodded and scratched the back of his neck, turning slightly and lifting the lids from his pots and pans again.
“miss preettyyyy!” milo whined. “when can i show you my race cars?!”
katsuki scowled and you laughed.
“now honey! but how about we move some of your toys to the living room so i can spend time with both you and dad? how does that sound?”
“yayayay!!” milo cheered, bouncing on your hip as you smiled cutely and set him down, him running off down the hall and you quickly following after him.
milo talked you through his entire collection of race cars as you both sat down on the living room rug— telling you the model of each and every one, what they did, how fast they went, they places they’d gone, and which were his favorites as you excitedly talked to him about his cars and shifted conversation between him and katsuki, a task he was surprised you did so efficiently, but then quickly realized that that was literally your fucking job everyday dealing with little brats talking your ears off and you attending all of them at the same time.
and when it came around to dinner time, you helped katsuki set up even through his snapping and huffing that you absolutely shouldn’t, you giving him a silly little face as you assisted anyways and set up milo’s booster seat, picking him up and sitting him down before buckling him up while katsuki placed your dishes on the table—
and gourmet fucking dishes at that.
you were bewildered. absolutely bewildered as you gawked over the lasagna platter he set before you, it delicate and fancy looking as he had even draped sauce on your gray ceramic plate in gourmet intricate designs, knowing that katsuki had mentioned to you he was a chef over the several months you’d gotten to know him, but you didn’t know exactly to which extent that chef occupation stretched to.
“kats…” you murmured. “what do you do for a living.”
“i told you idiot.” he passed over a couple of napkins and you gratefully took them, taking one then and wiping down milo’s mouth as he messily ate his cut up pieces of lasagna. “i’m a cook.”
“yeah but what kind? where?”
“why?” he gruffed. “does it look like shit?”
“no!” you giggled. “absolutely not the opposite actually! this is probably the most beautiful lasagna i’ve ever seen in my life.”
“duh.” he responded, but sent you a small smile as he ate. “i’m an executive chef down at a restaurant in the city.”
your jaw dropped. “the city?! you’re so cool kats! oh my goodness!”
his face flushed.
“my dad says his boss is a piece of—”
“don’t say it!” katsuki snapped at his son, eyes wide as you slapped a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from laughing, not wanting to encourage the little man any further.
“milo i told ya not to cuss until you’re ten—”
“ten?!” you giggled loudly and let your hand fall, sticking your fork in your lasagna and eating. “as long as he cusses with you and not at you… i think it should be fine!”
katsuki stopped.
you get it. or you rile up his bad cussing habit. either or he might as well have found his fucking soulmate.
“miss pretty!” milo called.
“yes my love?”
“do you have a boyfriend?”
katsuki smacked a hand on his forehead and you snickered.
“i don’t!” you grinned. “why milo?”
“because i want you to be my new—”
“milo if ya shut your mouth right now i’ll buy you two new race cars tomorrow.”
his son gasped dramatically and pursed his lips shut, eyes big and excited as he tried to contain himself and do as told.
“his new what?” you tilted your head cutely, katsuki’s heart hammering against his rib cage as he stuffed his mouth with food.
he shrugged. “the fuck should i know?”
“but i wanna know!” you pouted, taking your final bites of your yummy dinner.
he swallowed.
“do you want dessert?”
you gasped. “oh my god yes! i do!”
“then i suggest you shut your mouth too.”
you laughed over the table, quickly nodding as you pursed your lips like milo and pinched your thumb and index finger together, running it across your mouth and twisting your wrist like a pretend lock before dropping your hand in your lap, giddy and excited over dessert.
katsuki playfully rolled his eyes and stood, collecting all of your plates and stacking them on top of each other before taking them over to the sink.
“dad!” milo called as he bounced in his seat, katsuki grunting in response.
“what’d you make for dessert!”
“mochi.”
“yaaaayyyyy!” he cheered happily. “can i eat it with y/n in the living room?”
katsuki’s brows furrowed. “the living room?”
“yeah!” milo exclaimed. “so i can keep showing her my race cars!”
he struggled for a moment before eventually nodding. “alright… but don’t make a mess i just cleaned—”
you and milo ended up building a fucking fort once he gave you the all clear, you both saying something about it adding to the ambiance as you used the couch cushions for makeshift walls and milo’s choo choo train sheets for the roof and tent, katsuki before he knew it his entire living room a fucking mess as the three of you sat amongst the scattered about pillows and blankets eating your bits of mochi, milo mainly inside the little tent you made for him as you and katsuki were too big to fit inside with him.
his living room was a mess… but he didn’t mind.
katsuki didn’t mind the mess.
your way of living was entirely different from his, as yours had everything to do with mess due to your full time job with kids— paint all over your hands and face, marker stains on your clothes and sticky glue residue and pieces of cut up construction paper somehow in your hair, all things katsuki despised for years and made sure his house never reflected any of that.
but in that moment, with his living room in complete disarray and the positioning of his couches utterly fucked up? the dishes still in the sink and the table still set?
katsuki didn’t fucking care.
because he had never seen his son so happy. he had never seen him so excited and hyper as you helped him set up and somehow tie fairy lights that katsuki had somewhere up in his attic for holiday seasons around the fort, you looking fucking gorgeous under the dim dark lightning as you read milo one of his favorite children’s books you got from his little shelf in his room— ‘the very hungry caterpillar,’ one of your favorites too as his son followed along with you and giggled whenever you’d make a silly joke only a five year old would find funny.
and katsuki felt warm… that’s all he ever felt when he was around you.
is this what it was like to be a family?
“oh my goodness i almost forgot!” you quickly sat up and handed milo the book, him taking it as you crawled over and reached for your bag. “i brought something for you honey!”
milo gasped and sat up. “really?! what?!”
you pulled out a ceramic cream colored globe with hollowed out stars, a small bulb inside as you scooched on your knees back over to a curious katsuki and milo.
“woah..” his son whispered. “what is it?”
you smiled and reached for the nearest outlet, plugging in the little globe and flicking a switch.
the darkened room illuminated itself then with the soft murmur of a lullaby playing, star shaped shadows slowly shifting around the entire living room as milo gasped and stood, frantically pointing at each moving shadow and gushing while his little mind was trying to process how cool and fascinating this was.
and all katsuki could do was stare at you.
stare at the way you sat back on your ankles and pointed with milo, counting how many stars you could see before it shifted and repeating that for fun, stare at the way both of your eyes glowed with wonder and curiosity, and stare at the way you smiled so gracefully and looked unreal now under the starry lights, his heart on overdrive at how gentle you were and how much you cared about his son.
about him.
and katsuki was sure then he was absolutely sick over you.
you all settled after a while of playing games and eating more mochi, especially milo, the little lullaby knocking him out as he snored next to you in his fort, you and katsuki laying down next to each other as you stared up at the shifting stars.
“i’m sorry i made such a mess in your living room..” you whispered bashfully. “i promise i’ll pick everything up before i leave.”
he shook his head. “don’t worry about it i can pick up. it’s fine.”
you smiled at him warmly before looking back up at the ceiling, feet planted on the blanketed flooring as your mindlessly moved your propped up knees side to side.
“was it hard raising milo on your own kats?” you asked softly, fingers wrung together neatly on your tummy.
“it was at first.” he mumbled. “but i got used to doin’ it on my own.”
you frowned, not particularly happy with the idea that katsuki had to raise a human being on his own without any help or guidance, wishing that he would’ve had someone there to help him every once in a while, or just be there for him.
“you did an exceptional job, okay?” you began. “you should know that... milo is such an honest kid… and he’s so precious too.”
katsuki’s eyes softened, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at you in fear of you noticing his stupid flustered face as he opted for keeping his gaze glued to the starry ceiling, your sugary peachy perfume not fucking helping as he decided to sit up instead.
“he is.” he grunted softly. “don’t know how his mom didn’t see that.”
you faltered and sat up with him.
“what do you mean?”
katsuki eyed you before looking down, hands flat behind him propping himself up as he thought.
“ah… milo happened because of some random hookup i had in college.” he mumbled. “didn’t love her or anythin’, i barely knew her but still told her i’d support her and the baby obviously.”
you nodded, encouraging him to continue.
“i was there through her entire pregnancy and when milo was born… but the minute she got discharged from the hospital and took him with her, i woke up at four in the mornin’ with a knock on my door and milo left abandoned on my doorstep.”
you gasped, hand hovering over your mouth.
“are you— are you serious?”
katsuki nodded.
“she wouldn’t answer my calls, my texts, nothing. i went to her house and found out she took the first flight she could to fuck knows where.” he shook his head bitterly. “but i didn’t give a shit about me i’ll raise him i don’t care. it was never about me.
he looked at you. “it was about milo. i didn’t want him to know that his ‘mom’ left him behind like that, and i didn’t want him to think it was his fault or anythin’… shits ridiculous.”
katsuki shifted his gaze back up to the ceiling. “still don’t know how she could ever do something like that.”
the sound of a hiccup make his eyes widen and snap back to you, your eyes filled with fat tears as your bottom lip wobbled, hands coming up to cup over your mouth and nose as you tried to keep it in.
“you’re crying?”
you nodded, squeaky slight sobs slipping past your throat as you strained to keep everything down.
“that’s so cruel.” you cried softly, embarrassingly drowning in your tears in front of him yet again. “you didn’t deserve that at all kats… milo didn’t deserve that you both should’ve had such a good mommy and— and a good support system—”
katsuki pushed himself up and wrapped his big arms around your shoulders, pulling you in and rubbing a hand up and down your back comfortingly.
“you cry over everything y/n.”
“s—” hic! “—sorry—”
he laid the side of his head on top of yours as you shook, somehow feeling guilty of what he told you just because of how much you were crying.
more than when he gave you those star shaped fruits.
“oi…”
katsuki pulled back and looked at you, reaching up and wiping your tears with his thumbs.
“don’t cry baby…”
baby?!
you funnily sobbed even more and shoved your face in his chest, him chuckling as he wrapped his arms back around you and gently swayed side to side.
“stop it idiot.” he mumbled. “it’s fine. it happened years ago n’ milo and i have always been alright on our own.”
…but he wanted you now.
now that he knew what it was like to be softly cared for by someone precious like you, to feel what it was like to be warm and fuzzy and sunshine and rainbows and candy all of the time… and katsuki wanted you so. bad.
“i know..” you hiccuped. “and i’m really glad but i just wish you had someone.”
you pulled away and quickly wiped your wet cheeks. “m’sorry i cried all over your shirt—”
“don’t give a fuck.”
you breathed out a laugh and dropped your hands in your lap, looking at your fingers as you sniffed.
you were always crying for him.
“y/n.”
“yeah?”
he looked to the side with a blush to his cheeks.
“thanks for comin’ today.”
you smiled brightly and nodded.
“of course kats! how could i not?” you looked behind you to a sleeping milo, reaching over and pulling his blanket a little further up his shoulders. “i want you to know that i wanna be there for you and milo…”
he shifted his gaze to you as you turned back around.
“whether— whether you wanna keep seeing me or not—” you gnawed nervously at the inside of your cheek. “which i hope you do! but— but if not that’s totally fine i just want to be there for you both…”
how were you so pure? so thoughtful?
“why the hell wouldn’t i wanna keep seeing you?” he huffed, grumbly and embarrassed as he pursed his lips. “i’d be stupid as fuck not to…”
you blushed, happy shiny eyes looking at him eagerly like he was everything and more, and he wasn’t used to people looking at him like that whatsoever as your gaze flickered down to his lips and back up.
and you were so pretty.
“y/n.”
“mhm?”
he slowly leaned closer.
“would you be mad if i made a move on you—”
“of course not—”
katsuki lunged and planted his rough lips on yours, you tasting like straight sugar and honey as he placed his big hands on the sides of you head and held you like a piece of delicate glass, kissing and sliding your tongues in each others mouths rather quickly and breathy as he moved one hand from your pretty face down to your waist to grip it.
you placed your hands on the blanketed floor and slowly crawled over to him during the makeout, him reaching and wrapping the rest of his built muscly arms around your waist and pulling you to straddle his lap as he ran his hands up and down your sides and back, wanting to feel you as much as he possibly could and squeeze you tight as he gulped your little self down, brows furrowed and lips red.
katsuki pulled away and ran his fiery wet mouth across your jaw and to the spot right below your ear on the side of your neck, your hands gripping his broad shoulders as he bit and sucked and still squeezed you, manhandling you in a way and eating you up.
your eyes fluttered open once you heard a slight rustle, your line of sight catching milo shifting a little in his sleep.
“k—kats—” you breathlessly whispered, pushing a little at his shoulders.
he grunted.
“milo—” you pointed. “he’s waking up—”
“the fucks that gotta do with us—”
“kats!”
he groaned and pulled his mouth from you, scowling over to see his son only shifted positions and was now directly facing the both of you, tiny eyes closed as he drooled and was probably dreaming about race cars and his dads shark shaped pb & j sandwiches.
“the little runt is fine—” he shoved his face back in and gnawed at your neck again as you gasped.
“nooo!” you whined and giggled softly. “now i’m scared he’s gonna wake up…”
he huffed and officially pulled away this time, red eyes dilated and half lidded as he looked over your pinky cheeks and shy face, the purple and blue mark he made on your neck making the right side of his lips curve up into a little prideful smirk, you too distracted to notice over the way he clutched and loosened up the hold on your waist repeatedly.
katsuki kept you on his lap and scooched himself down, laying on his back and head on the pillow as he nudged you to lay on him completely over his chest and body, you more than happy to do so as you settled your head on his pecs and got comfortable with his strong arms around you— feeling so safe and looked after.
and you hadn’t expected to sleep over… but you just didn’t wanna leave, and katsuki sure as hell didn’t want you to either as you softly and quietly talked over the small tinkling of the lullaby and milo’s soft breathing, shadowy stars still slowly shifting around you as you easily switched between various topics— ranging from serious to silly as you ran a loving hand over his chest and his on your back, the both of you subconsciously lulling each other to sleep until you were just as passed out on the floor as milo.
since then, katsuki didn’t wanna let you out of his sight.
as if he wasn’t already involved enough with milo’s school activities because of you, this man became a fucking member of the pta and volunteered himself for every single event so as long as you were there, helping you out especially with fundraisers and bake sales as his desserts always sold out quicker than anything else and made bank as he snickered and boasted at the other parents that weren’t selling as much, you giving him a silly glare that never failed to shut him right up as he wanted to be good for you and not upset you.
the front desk lady even went from hating him to loving him, katsuki grumbling and chucking her a bag of leftover fundraiser chocolate chip cookies on her desk as he passed by to drop off milo in the mornings, serving as a ticket way in and to get her to shut up now instead of yelling at him from down the hall.
and he continued to give you yummy star shaped fruits.
except now some days they looked like hearts or little flowers, and he always made his fruit assortments different so you wouldn’t get tired of them and added different dippings like caramel or chocolate hazelnut, you gushing and nearly bawling literally everyday whenever you’d open the container and milo giggling at you during lunch.
you also never went a day without stopping by or staying over at katsuki’s house since your first initial date, your days so much fun and filled with love as you ate lunch or dinner with the two of them, laughing at milo’s sporadic comments or katsuki’s barking and scolding while you either played with milo, helped katsuki clean up the house and him the kitchen or you the kitchen and vice versa, or simply cuddle on the couch with kisses shared amongst you and katsuki— the three of you with milo seated peacefully and comfortable in the middle while you watched a movie or lulled the little man to sleep.
and katsuki had never felt so complete as he started leaving messes behind without even realizing or stressing about it, and he didn’t know when the fuck it was that he turned so soft and sappy— the change a bit strange to those who knew him as he was just a teeny weeny less explosive and angry over small things, and more so when it came to you and his son.
“make sure you keep your little bucket hat on honey, okay? it’s hot today and i don’t want you to tire yourself out milo.”
the end of the year field trip for the kindergarteners this year was a voyage to the local wildlife sanctuary, a gorgeous exhibit that sat right next to the national science museum in your city, its main attraction being the 25 foot koi pond and butterfly wonderland that housed various butterfly species and their little habitats— the kids field trip assignment being to count how many they see throughout the day and pick one koi fish and butterfly to draw on their journals.
katsuki, of course, volunteered as a chaperone.
“single file line please my loves!” you called, hand by your mouth. “and don’t seperate from your friends okay?! everyone stay where i can see—”
“oi!” katsuki barked, snapping and pointing at a rogue kid who decided to break free from the line and run across the grass. “the fuck do you think you’re doing!—”
“kats!” you breathed out a shocked laugh. “you’re gonna get me fired if you talk to the kids like that—”
“shit! sorry— i’m sorry baby hold on—”
katsuki booked it across the grassy lawn and caught up with the running kid on the other side, the rest of your class giggling and cackling as katsuki swooped him up with one arm and dangled him upside down while he kicked and swung tiny punches to his abs, katsuki not even flinching.
“do that again and see what happens brat.” he spat, the little kid not having a single care in the world as he giggled with the rest of the class, all of them deviously planning to piss katsuki off as much as possible since his outbursts were just funny.
“okay okay—” you smiled apologetically at him before taking the dangling boy from his arm and setting him back down, fixing over his clothes and backpack before patting his head and standing upright.
“no more running alright?” you placed your hands on your hips. “don’t we wanna see some cute little fishies and butterflies?!”
“yeeeeaaaahhhh!!” the babies cheered excitedly, each of them immediately returning to their designated spots in two lines as you grabbed your line leaders tiny hands and started the walk down the grassy field to the sanctuary.
“lemme help ya with one line baby—” katsuki went to grab one of your line leaders hands until they burst into a crying fit.
“no! no! i wanna hold miss y/n’s hand!”
katsuki’s eyes narrowed. “what’s so bad about me hah?”
“you’re ugly! miss y/n is pretty!”
the rest of the kids ruptured, laughing as katsuki sent death glares to a literal child, about to spout something nasty until his eyes flickered to your pleading face, his muscles instantly relaxing as he casted his gaze to the ground with a grumble.
you giggled and gave him a sweet kiss to his cheek in gratitude, his face flushing as he eyed your deep blue overalls and pinky shirt and the way your sunglasses sat pretty in your hair on top of your head.
“what honey?” you tilted your head.
“none of your business.”
you snickered and nudged your shoulder with his, looking over at milo from somewhere in the line to make sure he was okay before walking up the front gates of the sanctuary.
the wildlife guide met you once you all were cleared and inside the greenhouse, your kids absolutely restless as they ‘listened’ to whatever the guide had to say and just wanting to break free and run around to look at all of the fishies and butterflies like you had promised, and you not even listening either as you drooled over the way katsuki’s muscles looked under his t-shirt.
“any questions sweetheart?”
“huh?” your eyes snapped to the guide, cheeks pink as you quickly shook your head. “oh! no not at all! thank you ma’am!”
“alrighty then! just please make sure to tell your students—”
suddenly your two perfect lines broke apart as the kids started running around and pointing at fluttering butterflies and screaming, the guide looking like she’d seen a ghost as the usual quiet and serene sanctuary was now the epitome of noise.
“i’m sorry! i’m sorry—” you guiltily apologized. “my kids will settle down they’re just excited is all…”
the guide kindly waved you off before walking back to the main office, you turning and expecting to see katsuki standing next to you, but faltering once you saw he was on the other side and pulling one of your kids down that had climbed up the gates of one of the sanctuaries closed off exhibits.
“oh god..” you mumbled, about to make your way over until you spotted milo in a corner alone, staring at one of the koi ponds.
“milo?” you called softly, walking up to him.
your heart sank once he turned and you saw his little tear filled eyes and wobbling lip.
“oh no!” you gasped, crouching down and taking his tiny hands in yours. “what’s wrong my love? are you okay? is it too hot?”
you pushed some of his spiky blonde bangs back from his sweaty forehead as he shook his head.
“i can’t draw!” he sniffled. “and the koi fishies keep moving…”
your shoulders relaxed in relief.
“that’s okay!” you took his journal and pencil, wiping his wet cheeks as you smiled sweetly. “as long as we’re patient with the fishies, they’ll swim back and you can draw them again!”
you opened his journal and flipped to a new blank page, the both of you waiting quietly until a big chubby koi fish swam by.
“there!” milo whispered and pointed, and you quickly drew what you could, just making out the shape of the body before it disappeared again.
“and now we wait!” you grinned up at him. “the fishy will come back around and you’ll be able to draw it again.”
“kayyy!!”
“and you can draw milo. i’ve seen your artwork in class, remember? you always get a gold star!”
he giggled. “i do miss pretty!”
you ran a soothing hand over his back before passing his journal back.
“now you try honey—”
“i love you.”
you froze and looked up, katsuki standing there with a sincere and vulnerable look in his eye.
you stood from your crouched position and looked at him wide eyed.
“i’m not— i’m not good at this kinda shit at all and i always say somethin’ dumb but i do.”
“kats—”
“and i’m sorry it took me so long to say it but i tried to make it obvious with my stupid shaped fruits n’ shit… and i always thought you kinda just knew…”
milo was too busy focusing on catching glimpses of the koi fish to draw with his tongue peeking out to even realize what was going on next to him.
“you’re so patient baby. the way you are with me… the way you are with my kid. i need that in my life and i can’t live without it at this point…” he spoke genuinely. “your fuckin’ fault.”
you giggled and covered your face with your hands, face hot to the touch and bashful at everything he was telling you.
“come here.”
you listened and walked forward, dropping your arms as you wrapped them around his abdomen and his around your head, squishing you in his big chest as he propped his chin up.
“do you love me too or what.” he frowned. “cause if not this is shitty and embarrassing—”
“no i do!” you giggled, pulling away and giving him a cheeky smile. “i do kats you know that… i love you. so much.”
he smiled and pecked your lips. “good, miss pretty.”
katsuki had heard the entire conversation you had with his son, your words seeping with such tenderness and care, and he almost passed the fuck out when he thought about how much of a blessing you were, something he’d be a fool not to snatch up and take as he nearly fucking proposed to you in the middle of the sanctuary like an idiot, not knowing at all how a person that pissed people off for a living was loved by a woman who was the definition of pure.
because how the fuck did an angry dunce like him, get lucky with an angel like you?
“oh my god that dumbass kid is climbin’ the fence again— oi!”
katsuki quickly kissed your cheek before flying to the other side of the sanctuary, you doubling over in laughter as you watched him fight and tug and pull, your student not budging at all whatsoever and the rest of the kids laughing at how red katsuki was getting in the face.
“miss pretty!” milo tugged at your overalls, and you looked down to see him holding up his open journal, a cute wobbly sketch of a koi fish on the page as he smiled big. “i drew it! do you like it?!”
“wow milo!” you gushed, crouching down to his level and taking the journal, examining his artwork. “this is beautiful my love! see? i knew you could do it!”
“thank youuu!” he responded sweetly, his little cheeks blushing as he looked at you like he had another thing he wanted to say.
you tilted your head. “do you wanna tell me something else?”
“yeaaahhh.” he dragged. “please love my dad… i know he’s mean but— but he doesn’t mean it!”
your eyes softened as milo looked down at his shoes.
“and love me too… because i want you to be my new mommy…”
you quickly blinked back tears as to not alarm milo, surprisingly successful at preventing them from slipping down your face.
“i do love your dad honey… and you. the both of you i love so so much.”
he beamed. “really?!”
you nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. “and i thought i was already your mommy milo!”
the little man gasped and flung his arms around your neck.
“YAAAYYY!” he yelled. “miss pretty is my mommy! i have a mommy now!”
ever since you came into katsuki’s life, his way of living materialized into something completely different.
because now instead of his house being plain and boring and organized from top to bottom without a single thing out of place— it was warm now… happy. and never went a day without smelling like cookies and vanilla as you and katsuki baked with milo any chance you could, set up more pillow forts and tents with starry ceilings, and slept with milo in his room as he snored content in his little bed, you sprawled directly on top of katsuki like he always had you as you both every day intended to leave after putting his son to rest, but ending up falling asleep on the floor each time.
the three of you were a little family.
and katsuki didn’t know why he hated messes so much in the first place.
because mess signified that something had been there, something sunny and tender, something that signified family as you peppered kisses over both your boys’ faces everyday and katsuki drowning you in his rough ones— your man squeezing you so tight all of the time and anywhere, as milo wasn’t just his son now but yours too as you took him to the park or to the aquarium on your days off, the three of you gently living as both of milo’s small hands were occupied now instead of just one.
katsuki’s life looked like it had been generously cherished and lived in for a change.
and katsuki bakugo loved messes.
so as long as they were from you.
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taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):
@cupcaketeddybehr @soobiary @roachfun @waterfal-ling @saebaey @reneinii @luvvmae @cake-with-the-cream @pixie-dix @2ukika @cramelmacchiao @hy3phiren @umemiaa @wil10wthetree @jameinfrau @pancakeszs @drftnzume @k0z3me @k4zivy @dindjarins1ut @starrnai @tinyray-lovesfood @iloveoldermenn @dazqa @applepi25 @aria-chikage @blu3-l0v3r @rose-tinted-kalopsia @runfrme @unofficialsapphire @dee-writes-anime @megumisluciouslashes @peachyaeger @yourstru1y4ever
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tokyoteddywolf · 9 months ago
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It sucks so much once you realize how entwined someone is in your life, then it just sucks more when you have to scrub away the traces it existed. That it was there, and it was good, until it wasn't anymore.
(Ignore my angry venting it's 3am I'm cranky and want chocolate.)
#vent#i feel like my hands are soaked in blood that soap cant clean#'blood is thicker than water' they say but that just makes it all the harder to scrub away once it goes bad#i loved you so much and i still do but now everything is just bitter and rotting and i hate it so much#and im just ranting to myself about how unfair it is that im doing so much better but i still miss what i had#that it wasnt your fault i didnt get help sooner- i believed so badly that i didnt deserve help.#that if i just waited long enough id rot away and be done with it all.#and i never got to say 'thank you for loving me when i couldnt love myself' at the worst time of my life.#you tried to help me. i can appreciate that#but i can be bitter that you still abandoned me. i have that right. i am going to be better and do better but you dont get to have that.#im still learning how to be a proper human. one that can learn to love herself and not distrust any form of affection.#but im going to do that on my own and when im better i hope you see it. i really hope you do.#you both still abandoned me though so fuck you both for that. im not gonna be nice about it anymore.#i didnt wanna hurt feelings even though mine were CONSTANTLY trampled over. so yeah. fuck you. that feels good to say.#fuck you for never apologizing. fuck you for abandoning me in a city i had no place else to go in. fuck you for giving me false hope.#fuck you for making promises you couldnt keep. fuck you for all the times i felt alone or excluded or just plain unwanted.#fuck you for constantly picking each other over me. fuck you for all the times i had to swallow how i felt because it was 'mean'.#fuck you for making your love conditional. fuck you for never even trying to understand how i felt. fuck you for taking years of my life.#and mostly just- fuck you for making me think i was worth it.#i felt like i had to do all the work in that friendship. starting convos and game days and INTERACTING.#the friends i have now dont do that shit. they COMMUNICATE WITH ME. Fuck you for that too by the way! not communicating!#rant over. fuck you. im gonna sleep now knowing you wont see this cuz ya BLOCKED ME.
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gyaruhana · 12 days ago
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Hey could you write the frontman smut, I need that man it's not even funny, yk the chair/sofa he always sat on in S1, when watching the game? Imagine cockwarming him there while he's praising us...
Frontman/Hwang In-ho - Cockwarming
Synopsis: Cockwarming your husband as he watches the games
A/N: This is a short little piece but I hope it's good anyway.. Ty for the frontman request bc he spoke to me in season 2..
Warnings: Cockwarming,
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To many, the frontman was a reserved man who is not to be crossed. He’s been responsible for the death of many people - whether at his own hands or the hands of the guards that work for him. Not a lot is known about him among the people who work for him other than the fact he has a very pretty wife. You.
It was no secret that he would not tolerate any disrespect towards you. Some have had to learn that lesson the hard way. He’d always make a point of making sure no harm comes to you by warning people of the dire consequences that come with endangering you. It was all out of love for you, of course. He only wanted to keep you safe from the dangers of his deadly work. That’s why he was always nearby. Like right now.
The first game was about to begin and he was relaxed in his chair in the dark room as he watched the screen. You were on his lap making sure to keep still so as not to bother him. Otherwise, he’d likely deliver some sort of punishment. His cock was buried deep inside of you but he paid little attention to how your hole was squeezing his cock. He was too focused on making sure the first game goes according to plan. Everything needed to be in order so the VIP’s could have something entertaining to watch and keep paying for more.
“You’re being so good for me - keeping so still like this,” he spoke as he moved a hand to your hair and began to gently brush his fingers through in a soothing motion. He knew how hard it was for you to stay still when all you wanted was for him to start fucking into your tight hole. However, good things only come to those who wait so he wasn’t going to give you what you wanted just yet. 
His eyes stayed on the screen as he watched people start to drop dead like flies. It never got old to watch the panic on people’s faces when they realised their lives were at stake. He reached over to the table beside him and grabbed his glass that contained whiskey before gently spinning the glass around for a moment. He then took a sip out of the glass before turning his attention to you.
Teasingly, he thrusted up gently to force a reaction out of you. “You really need it, huh? You’re squeezing me so tightly,” he said with a small smirk. He put the glass back down before putting both his hands on your hips. “Just be a good girl and wait a little longer. I know you won’t disappoint me,” he spoke again as he firmly held your hips down to keep you completely still.
He looked back towards the screen and continued to watch the death game. He could hear your shaky breaths in his ear as you became impatient. He found it amusing to see his dear wife be so desperate for his cock to fuck into her with reckless abandon. Well, he’d give you what you wanted soon. As long as you just sat still on his cock like the good wife you are.
“Such a good wife for me, hm?
3K notes · View notes
lilreidgirl · 1 month ago
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Do I wanna know?
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Summary: You and Drew are best friends, but you want more. What happens when you get invited to a day out on Drew’s friend’s yacht and get more?
Warnings: MDNI(18+), fem!reader, thigh riding, daddy kink, nicknames used (princess, baby, little lady, good girl…), kissing, alcohol (beer), swearing, no use of (y/n), reader wears a skirt, shy!reader, pining amongst friends, English is not my first language, if I forgot anything; please let me know!!
WC: ~2.4k (no idea how that happened)
A/N: I got inspired by this photo so I wrote this at like 2 am and I’m posting it now at 5 am, this is a mess, gn my loves (NOT PROOF READ, SORRY) (also this is my first fic about Drew so yeah)
When your best friend, Drew Starkey, invited you to a small get together on his friend’s yacht, you were more than willing to go. You and him had been friends since years, getting to know each other through mutual friends and suddenly you were eating take out with a b-list celebrity every other night.
You twirled around in front of your full body sized mirror, watching with amusement as your skirt twirls with you, the ruffles bouncing as they fluttered in the wind.
“Wow. Really doesn’t take much to get a smile on that pretty little face of yours, huh?” Drew chuckled as he watched you spin around.
Startled by his voice you stopped your little turns, looking at him with a small playful glare when the dizzy fog finally cleared from your vision.
“I’m just a happy person. You should try it sometime” you shot back, but you knew it was no use. Drew was great at talking, arguing, whatever. He was great with people in a way you just couldn’t figure out for yourself.
But honestly? You were fine just standing on the sidelines watching him do his thing, waiting for him to abandon that and come talk to you for a bit.
You had been fine with it.
Lately every time he laughed and grinned at one of your sarcastic comments and every time he stared at you like he was a theoretical physicist and you had the answers to string theory, you couldn’t help but want more. Couldn’t help but want that “best friend” status to be upgraded to “girlfriend”. Hell, you even dreamt of being called his wife.
For now though, you were just going to try and enjoy the day on a luxurious boat.
Soon you found yourselves in the car. You clicked on random songs on your phone and sand along to the “wait, this is the best part, shut up”’s before yet again changing the song as Drew drove to the harbour, admiring the way you seemed so enthralled by the different songs and music.
“Would love to continue listening to your big world tour concert, little lady, but we’re here,” he announced once he’d gotten the car carefully parked.
Excitedly, you jumped out of Drew’s car, watching as he did the same before you both made your way closer to the water where many ships floated atop the sea.
At the same time, you both spotted Drew’s group of friends, waving at them as they saw you two as well.
You’d gotten to know them a bit but the amount of group hangouts you attended, didn’t really allow you to form a strong bond to any of Drew’s friends.
What can you say?
You’re just not a people person.
You’re a person person.
A Drew person.
You squashed the ridiculous thought, giggling it off before you checked that your outfit was neatly in order.
Upon seeing you inspecting your clothes, Drew leaned down and whispered in your ear, his breath tantalizingly brushed against your ear and neck as he spoke, “You look amazing, baby, don’t worry.”
As you reached the boat, the smile you had shared for a few enchanting seconds came to a sudden end.
“Hey, Drew!” Various different voices greeted the both of you and you both returned the favour with just as much enthusiasm.
One of the guys, the one whose yacht it was presumably, invited everyone aboard.
Your eyes flitted to everything around you, spotting a few seats, some complicated looking boat equipment and random day-to-day fun stuff lying around.
The smell of fish and sea breeze filled the air and your nostrils, but that scent quickly evaporated when Drew stepped next to you, finally finished with catching up with his friend and was now holding out a beer bottle for you to take. His cologne took over, overwhelming your senses. Something you were definitely not complaining about.
You accepted the beer from him, taking a sip before handing it back to him and watching as he repeated your action of drinking from the bottle.
Your gaze drifted to his Adam’s apple as it bobs when he took gulps of the alcoholic drink. He lowered the glass container from his lips, putting his strong bicep right in your line of sight.
As embarrassing as it is to admit you could have almost moaned from just looking at his muscly arm.
He must have taken off his shirt sometime between helping you up the steps on the side of the ship, his hand securely wrapped around your thigh to keep you from falling, and when he seemingly appeared behind you as you admired your surroundings.
Then your eyes found his chest, strong pecs priding over his abs that seemed carved from the very marble that Michelangelo had used to sculpt David, each muscle defined with an almost perfect precision to it.
Just before you could take a good look at his black swim shorts hanging off his hips and hugging his beefy thighs, his voice called your name.
“Hey, come on, picture time,” he reiterated what he had said when you were still zoned out.
“Oh. Okay,” Throwing your thoughts back into reality, you watched as everyone made their way over to the discussed upon place where the photo would be taken.
“Who wants to set the timer?” A girl, who you’d forgotten the name of, asked.
Something with an F? L? A? Who cares.
“Not it!” Was called by everyone but you, your face quickly morphing from a surprised look of “who the hell still uses ‘not it’?” to an accepting face that you were in fact “it”.
The girls and boys all took their places on the netting of the boat. The 5 people in front of you got ready to pose for the group photo.
Efficiently, you adjusted the tripod so that the camera of the phone pointed perfectly towards the centre of everyone.
You bent down, looking at the screen of the mobile. You saw Drew depicted by many pixels, your thighs clenching when he moved his hips up to readjust his position on the midnight blue blanket that lay sprawled over the rough nylon net.
Fuck, he was perfect.
Of course, you fixed your hair one last time before pressing the white button on the right side of the device, starting the 10 second countdown until the picture.
Swiftly, you made your way around the tripod, and plopped down onto the free space between a dark haired guy, you’ve come to know as Matthew, and Drew. You smiled sweetly at the round circles on the back of the phone as Drew slung an arm around your shoulders.
Once the photo was taken, everyone scattered and the usual chatter was back. You ran up to the phone and you looked at the image.
Well fuck.
Drew looked absolutely freaking ethereal.
His sitting in a reclined position with one leg bent and the other stretched out, manspreading, almost made you go feral. He was smiling widely toward the camera, his impossibly bright grin attracting all the attention in the photo.
His body looked like a dream. For a moment, you thought maybe you were dreaming, if you were you would hold onto the memory of the photo, even if it was just a dream, for the rest of your life.
God, pining for your hot best friend made you sound so so pathetic.
The thought that what you were experiencing was just a dream was snapped in two like a twig when Drew came up from behind you and flicked your bare back.
“Ouch!” You exclaimed, a frown forming on your face.
“‘M sorry, princess,” he swung his arms over your shoulders, holding on to you from behind like a koala would his mother, peering at the screen in your hands.
“Did it turn out good?” He asked casually, acting as if he didn’t see how your face was blushing an awfully deep shade of red and don’t even start to think that he missed the way you were obviously turned on.
“Yup,” you answered curtly, ducking down to be released of any physical contact with him, because you felt as if you would melt if he touched you a second longer.
“I’m um… gonna go below deck. The sun uh- it’s hitting me pretty hard right now. I have a headache,” you lied, coming up with some excuse to just get yourself somewhere where you can have your alone time.
“O…kay…” He didn’t seem convinced but that wasn’t for you to deal with in that moment. You made your way down the stairs leading below the deck of the ship, the room was nice and cozy.
With a sigh of relief you sat down on a wooden bench near the kitchen and slipped your phone out of your purse.
After a few minutes of mindlessly scrolling through various social media apps you heard footsteps nearing you, causing you to look up.
Your eyes met none other than Drew Starkey himself.
“On your phone when you have a headache? Really?” He asked unamused. “You lyin’ about the headache or you just stupid?”
“Stupid…?” you offered in a quiet meek voice.
“C’mon, sweetheart, what’s the problem, huh? You don’t like my friends or something?” He questioned as he sat himself down next to you on the oak plank.
“No, no, they’re great, I just…” You really should have been able to come up with something to say but the way his forearm was flexing as it rested on his thigh distracted you.
A smirk grew on Drew’s face. “No yeah, I uh-“ he chucked as he shook his head in what looked like slight disbelief, “I know.”
Unsure of the true meaning behind his comment you averted your eyes to the floor, focusing on the swaying of the boat on the water instead of Drew’s piercing blue eyes staring intently at you.
He leaned back with a sigh, his legs spreading wider and his arm sneaking behind your back and around your waist. “You’re kind of ridiculous, you know that?”
All you could do was nod which earned you yet another laugh from Drew.
Just as you were about to persuade yourself to actually speak, you were pulled onto Drew’s lap by his arm, his hands quickly settling you on his thighs.
“Wha-“
“I know, princess,” he cooed.
You know you should have felt at least slightly degraded or mad because of his tone but the only thing it did, was make you want to clench your thighs together. Which of course wasn’t possible because each of your legs rested on different sides of Drew.
“You look so pretty today, baby,” he said, tucking some loose strands of hair behind your ear before moving his face down to your neck and pressing soft, fleeting, sensational kisses to the side of your collar.
Your breathing became panted and you unintentionally slowly rubbed your core along the material of his pitch black swim trunks.
“Not even a thank you?” He murmured teasingly as his kisses walked over to the area right under your ear and his large hands gripped your hips harshly, stopping you from any further movement.
“Th- thank you…” You whispered, your tone dipped and coated in your lust and arousal.
You felt a small nip on your throat that made you let out a small “Ah-!”
“Thank you…?” He muttered expectantly.
“Sir?” You tried, getting your confirmation of that being the wrong answer when a more harsh bite was left just under your jawline.
“Daddy..” you practically moaned out, the small pleasure that you got from the bites making you rut against Drew’s strong hold on your body.
“Good girl…” he praised, his face finally coming up to meet yours, kissing you softly but also at the same time with an unforeseeable force.
His fingers stopped drilling into the skin over your hipbones, letting you push your aching core down onto his covered thigh.
He broke the kiss, his plump lips and hot breath trailing over your cheek as you both gasped from air.
His hand roughly grabbed the back of your head, wrapping his fingers around your messy hair, holding you tight against him.
Immediately after, his other hand took hold of your hip again, helping you grind down on his swim pants.
“That’s right, baby, use daddy’s leg,” he breathed out heavily.
“Such,” he pressed a sloppy kiss to your jawline, “a,” another kiss was placed on the corner of your mouth, “good,” he said before pecking your lips, “girl,” he murmured into your mouth before shoving his tongue down your throat.
The press of his thigh onto your bikini bottom made a perfect friction emerge against your clit, sending jolts of pleasure through you.
“What about-“ you started.
“I locked the door, sweetheart, no worries.”
The way he basically read your mind made you feel even more turned on.
Your folds rubbed back and forth in your
soaking wet swim bottoms as you gripped Drew’s shoulders tightly, eyes squeezed shut as he continued to spew out praise after praise to you.
Suddenly a knock resounded throughout the room, a sudden halt coming to your despicable actions.
“Hello? Anyone in here? Why is the door locked?” A female voice asked from the other side of the door.
“One second!” Drew called before returning his attention to you.
“We’ll finish this later, yeah?” All you could do was nod, still completely dazed.
He picked you up off his lap, helping you settle back into a standing position and smoothing out both of your guys’ clothes.
With a casual smile on his face he unlocked and opened the door, spouting out some excuse for the door being locked before leading you upstairs with him.
For the rest of the afternoon, you sat, with a drink in hand, watching Drew talk amongst his friends, his eyes flicking to you every once in a short while.
Once other people started leaving and the sun started setting, he walked up to you.
“Ready to leave, princess?”
“Uh-huh,” you uttered out, standing up and saying your goodbyes to everyone that still found themselves on the yacht.
As you walked down the dock, admiring the sunset, you gripped onto Drew’s arm.
“Everything okay?” He asked.
You looked up at him with an “Are you serious?” face, annoyed at his nonchalant antics.
“Gee, sorry, okay?” He chuckled.
“I’ll make you feel good soon. Don’t worry, little lady.”
@emma-e-a
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yeahxsurexokay13 · 19 days ago
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wrong guy, lando norris
summary: fans think yn is dating max, but they've got the wrong guy [bsf!reader]
been a min since i posted! honestly, these just take me way too long and i usually end up abandoning them because i start hating them halfway through from overthinking lol. hope you enjoy this one though (: xx
y/n.y/l 📍 Ibiza, Spain
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Liked by riabish, carlossainz55 and 159.870 others
y/n.y/l we only argued 3 times, cried 2, and got lost 1 (personal record)
view all 579 comments
user9 right so who argued? who cried? and most importantly whO IS THE SHADOW?
user14 can we talk about how u're LITERALLY glowing in that first pic? u look so happy, girl!!
user20 the vibes on this dump… rich people's holidays just hit different.
iamrebeccad ✓ Beautiful girl 😍
y/n.y/l 🫶🏼 miss youu!!
user4 “cried 2 times” is actually impressive ♥︎ by author
user55 lando and max just casually being brothers in the fourth pic 😩❤️
user81 that shot is just *chef’s kiss*!!!! Glad we can always count on this queen for hq content
user63 Okay so I’ve been staring at this shadow pic for like 10 minutes, and I can’t figure it out…
user33 my money’s on max bc that hug pic of them earlier too… feels very coupley.
user63 idk friends to lovers agenda thriving tho
user3 Max and Lando with the face masks are killing me 😂 ♥︎ by author
user6 max or lando? place your bets now. i’m team max but i’ll die on this hill if i'm wrong
user2 which you are, because it’s definitely Lando
user8 guys they’ve literally known each other since forever and go on these friends holidays all the time lmao this is just FRIENDSHIP GOALS. stop romanticising everything!!!
user24 then explain the head kiss?
user8 friendly head kisses???
user24 friendly kisses?? in this economy? be serious. that’s couple behaviour
user12 smells like a third wheel in here…
y/n.y/l sorry, that's just me. i am the third wheel🙋🏼‍♀️
user13 she really said 'stop shipping me with my best friends' lol
user44 max and lando with the face masks in the water might be my new favourite photo of all time
user16 ngl that's not bad statistics for a week long trip ♥︎ by author
user11 If it’s Max, I’ll cry. If it’s Lando, I’ll cry harder. If it’s neither, I don’t know what I’ll do.
user18 i’ve been following these three for years and i’m still trying to figure out if that last slide is supposed to be romantic or not….? HELP I AM SO CONFUSED
user22 what book is that? i need recommendations!!
y/n.y/l just for the summer!!! LOVED it x
user10 i can’t believe she was so chill about posting thAT LAST PIC!??!! miss y/l!!! SPILL NOW
maxfewtrell ✓ Why are you saying 'we'? Pretty sure you were the one who did all of those
landonorris ✓ classic move, shifting the blame
y/n.y/l @/landonorris @/maxfewtrell the getting lost part was definitely a team effort
user1 I need to go on a trip with friends like this ♥︎ by author
user5 being that close to lando AND max and surviving the friendship without catching feelings was too good to be true let's be honest
pietra.pilao 😍😍
y/n.y/l 💞💞
user7 so when’s the next ‘friends holiday'? asking for a friend (me)
15 August 2024
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maxfewtrell ✓
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Liked by landonorris, y/n.y/l and 98.982 others
maxfewtrell The real girlfriend reveal, for the record 🫡
👤 pietra.pilao
view all 398 comments
user1 WAIT WHAT
user6 so it really wasn’t Y/n??
pietra.pilao ❤️❤️ ♥︎ by author
user4 omg she's the girl who commented on yn's holiday dump!!!
user3 We owe Max and his gf an apology 😭 She’s stunning, btw
user2 omg u two are so cuteeeeeeee! happy for u max :)
user5 your gf is so pretty 😭😭😭
y/n.y/l P!!!! 💕💕
y/n.y/l you two make a better couple than you and I ever would anyway 😂 ♥︎ by author
user9 WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THIS EARLIER?! we’ve been spiralling for WEEKS
user12 actually he's been saying it from the beginning. we just didn't want to listen 😂😂
user8 max: “here’s my gf. leave me out of y/n’s business”
user12 OK but pietra is STUNNING!! Max, you’ve been hiding her for how long?!
user7 the way he had to clarify this because of us is actually hilarious. sorry, Max.
user11 OMG I feel so dumb now we really had y/n in a whole relationship she wasn’t even in 😭
29 August 2024
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y/n.y/l
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Liked by oscarpiastri, sophiaaemelia and 289.034 others
y/n.y/l outtakes from ai·bee·thuh
view all 930 comments
user1 AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!?? MYSTERY SOLVED IG
user12 I THINK THIS MIGHT BE THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN TO MY FEED THIS YEAR I AM NOT EVEN JOKING
maxfewtrell ✓ So Lando gets the cute video and I get the passed out in the car pic? Playing favourites, I see. Noted.
user8 Max calling out Y/n for favoritism is peak sibling energy
user33 i can't believe we were full on shipping them not even a week ago omg
maxfewtrell ✓ Also, can everyone stop tagging me in that shadow pic now? Like, I’m good, it’s definitely not me 😅 ♥︎ by author
user11 pietra honestly deserves a medal for surviving this holiday with these three omg
user17 GUYS I WAS ALREADY PRETTY SHOCKED AT LANDO'S VIDEO BLOWING A KISS I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I HAD COMING
pietra.pilao Special week 🤍 ♥︎ by author
user81 the lift photo with the McDonald’s bag is so relatable. even on a fancy holiday, you gotta have your nuggets ♥︎ by author
user25 turns out Max wasn't lying when he said y/n wasn’t his headache... lando’s the lucky one 😂
user10 and y/n and pietra? they do ✨besties ✨ better than anyone ♥︎ by author
user19 can we get a ‘whoops, my bad’ from the ppl who saw them in Ibiza and STILL missed the fact that Pietra was there?
user2 they literally had a front row seat to the full gossip and still didn’t catch on !!!!! like hELLO? u had one job
user14 THE SOFT LAUNCH TURNED INTO A HARD LAUNCH REAL QUICK I AM SHOOK
alexandrasaintmleux ✓ Ahhh loveeee 🩷🩷 ♥︎ by author
user26 both boys punching above their weight fr. i said what i said.
francisca.cgomes ✓ ❤️❤️😍 ♥︎ by author
user16 The way Max is sleeping in that last pic has me wheezing ♥︎ by author
user3 lando is literally holding y/n like he’s never letting her go boy is WHIPPED
user29 WE'RE GOING TO SEE "LANDO NORRIS' PARTNER" UNDER YN'S NAME NOW WHEN SHE WATCHES FROM THE GARAGE what a time to be alive
user7 not the way y/n is casually posting a McDonald’s bag in a robe and THEN dropping the most beautiful couple pic with lando
user5 waIT SO THE BOY KISSING HER HEAD IN THE SHADOW PIC WAS LANDO??? WE WERE ALL WRONG. I NEED TO LIE DOWN.
maxfewtrell you know, it truly baffles me how this was barely even considered
y/n.y/l no one believed in me enough to be able to pull f1 race winner lando norris. humbling.
user20 YN I - 😭😭😭😭💀💀
user38 it was a couple’s holiday the whole time 😭😭 I need a moment to recover
user9 this fandom’s clownery knows no bounds istg.........
user21 not me crying over the hard launch of the year when I was just admiring Max’s sleeping face 5 seconds ago
user24 Ibiza really gave us everything: friendship goals, couple goals, and max in a food coma
user18 IT WAS LANDO KISSING HER HEAD. I feel so betrayed by my own theories and also pretty disappointed in myself i couldn't tell it was his shadow
landonorris ✓ I see you saved the best for last 🖤
y/n.y/l ☺️☺️
y/n.y/l omg guys i wasn’t being dry i just don’t know what else to say with all you watching 😭😭
1 September 2024
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2K notes · View notes
januaryembrs · 8 months ago
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YOU WERE LIKE AN ANGEL TO ME | Spencer Reid x Sunshine!Reader
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Request: my DARLING @avis-writeshq says- i’m a menace but i ADORED the spencer fic u posted 🥹 UGH THEYRE SO CUTE YOUR HONOURRRR 👹if it’s okay, may i request another fic with the same couple 🙈 perhaps one day reader is not as sweet or chirpy as she usually is, or she gets injured or threatened in the field? much love and lots of kisses xoxo 🫶
Description: Spencer swore he wanted to hate her. She was too happy, too chirpy, too much for a guy who spent months rotting in prison. But how could he ever hate her when she cried in his chest like that?
Length: 5k (I'm feral for these two)
warnings: post prison reid. Angst. depiction of suicide from the Unsub. gory language used. guns mentioned. mention of $nuff video and other murders. Nothing that hasn't been done on CM already.
authors note: if y'all want to see more with these two just SAY because I am all ears I would die on this ship
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There were a lot of times in his time at the BAU that Spencer had wished he could have changed the outcome of their bad guy, surprisingly enough. There was the time they found their UnSub a few minutes too late, and one of the victims fathers decided to take him out then and there with a shotgun to the head. He was just a kid. There was the entire time he was with Tobias Hankel, and he lived in a state of both fear and sympathy for the boy trapped in his own body after years of abuse. There was Nathan Harris, the kid who had stopped him at the subway station and practically begged him for help to stop his urges to murder, only to slit his own wrists before Spencer could get to him because he thought he was tainted. 
He could see how it was easy in their job to get wrapped up in saving the day, in saving everyone they could. He just had hoped, on some stupid grace of a god he didn’t even believe in, that she would have at least remained untouched by the bad luck. 
Spencer had always thought, since the first day he had arrived back into the office after his stint in prison, that she seemed to just waltz through life easier than anyone else. He knew the concept of luck was not quantifiable, that it was just a coincidence that good things happened to some people, and bad things happened to others. He always grouped himself in with the latter, because what was his entire life if not one bad hand of cards after another?
Part of him had been seething with vitriol jealousy when he first met her. He hated how the elevator doors seemed to open without hesitation for her, no waiting required. He hated how her hair never seemed to fall out of place, while his required primping and preening to upkeep. He hated how she was always so happy, whether it had been she’d been given an extra cookie at the bakery for free, or her coffee had just tasted super delicious that morning, or the road works clogging the city had been put on hold the one day she needed to drive into the office. She was one of those people, he had decided, that life just seemed to smile down upon, and she beamed back in that dazzling grin. 
He felt sick to his stomach for ever wishing it gone, especially when she looked like she might never smile again. 
They never liked to say that they had easy cases and hard ones, all of their cases were difficult to process. But this one had been a handful above the rest. 
“UnSub has been killed on site, all units stand down,” Luke said into the radio, and the entire squadron took a sigh of relief, all of them except him. 
Because he saw that look in her eye, the way everything sparkly about her seemed to have vanished.
They had been following Bobbie Wrids for a week. Five bodies in, five men shot between the eyes execution style, almost six by the time they’d arrived on the scene. 
She’d gone with Tara around the front of the abandoned building; Penelope tracked their newest victim, Henry Frond, through his phone pinging off the nearest satellite towers, and it had been straight forward from there. Or at least it should have been. 
Because by the time Spencer and Luke arrived in their own SUV, Penelope had time to access the rest of Henry’s phone, and it was clear to see the victimology behind all six men. 
They were distributing snuff videos of women, some between themselves, some to other usernames on the darkweb, and Bobbie Wrids’ daughter had been one of them.
Bobbie had become somewhat of a vigilante, but he was a grieving father above all. He was a wounded animal chomping at the bit to soothe the ripping pain of his daughter's murder, the same one those men were getting off to. 
Tara and her exchanged a glance as Penelope relayed the information over their headsets, her once serious expression falling into something sombre and sorrowful. How could she arrest a man she couldn’t help but feel sorry for, one she couldn’t help but think wasn’t entirely wrong in his actions. 
“Bobbie Wrids,” Tara’s voice was stern, cutting through the silence of the desolate building. Their footsteps were careful as they made their way through the hallway, down to what had once been a rec-room, or perhaps a staff room, where they knew Bobbie had Henry, “This is the FBI, we’d like to talk,” 
They heard nothing, and she looked up to the older woman hesitantly, her finger hovering over the trigger the way Spencer had taught her. Tara took a minute, knowing she was leading the charge here with the girl being so inexperienced, before she nodded to the door knob and the rookie twisted the handle, pushing the peeling wood open gently. 
Bobbie Wrids stood in the centre of the room, moth eaten couches either side of the damp rug, the ceiling tiles half caved in from wear and tear. Henry Frond was already a pulp in the UnSub’s arms, and yet it was Bobbie that her eyes shot to first, sympathy shooting through every fibre of her being when she saw the distraught look on the father’s face. 
He was grieving. He was grieving his little girl’s death. He was looking for a solution, and this seemed to be his best bet. 
“Bobbie,” Her voice was shaky, her and Tara frozen in the doorway as the man brought the pistol to Henry’s beaten face, cocking it towards his temple before they could even explain themselves. “We’re going to come in, is that okay? We just want to talk, just let us talk-”
They had only edged closer by three paces between them as she was speaking before his knuckles turned white and he squeezed the gun tighter to Henry’s skin, the barrel contorting the flesh, “Don’t come any closer, this pig isn’t worth your mercy,”
“We know,” She said, her and Tara slowly stepping over a fallen ceiling tile, cracking under her boot as she met his desolate gaze for the first time, his head snapping to her. “We know what he did, Bobbie. What they all did.”
His throat bobbed, his bottom lip quivering and the sight of it, a man so broken, forced a frog into her oesophagus, and she willed herself not to cry. 
“They hurt my little girl,” Bobbie choked out, his face turning mauve as the tears began to build behind his eyes, “She was my girl. She was only eighteen.” 
She nodded, his wetted hues seemingly permissive when she stepped closer to where he held Henry hostage. 
“I know, I’m so sorry for what happened to her,” She said, her voice croaky, unstable as she wrenched it into something audible, “I’m so sorry,” 
“He doesn’t deserve mercy, none of them did,” Bobbie spat, his forearm crushing against Henry’s trachea in a vice-like grip. The man floundered, a wheeze coming from his lungs, not that she felt much sympathy for him. 
She sprung into action, flicking her gun onto safety and holstering it, Tara doing the same as she lowered her weapon to her side. He profiled as a vigilante; he had no reason to hurt them. 
“Bobbie, listen, I know they didn’t deserve to walk free, okay?” She said, taking the smallest step towards where the men stood, “But she wouldn’t want this for you, would she?”
The man flinched, his jaw hard as a rock with how he clenched his teeth together, as if holding back a sob. 
“Come on, Bobbie. Let him go, we have enough evidence to get him sentenced. We can get you a plea deal, I know a good lawyer,” She begged, because she wasn’t beneath it, because she knew he was a good man backed into a corner, “Please,”
Maybe it was the way her eyes were soft when she looked at him, or the fact two more agents burst into the room from the hallway, Spencer’s eye immediately falling to where she was stood so close to their UnSub, her gun out of hand. Tara stood by, but that wasn’t good enough for him. He edged with light footsteps until he was behind her, his gaze cautious, never leaving the gun in Bobbie’s hand. 
“Please,” She repeated, and Spencer saw Bobbie’s shoulders drop, every sliver of resolve draining from his body at her gentle tone, a deer approaching a hunter. 
Henry was thrown to the floor, the man practically dead weight as he gasped, almost retching at the feeling of air sucking back into his chest frantically, and Luke and Tara were quick to wrestle him into cuffs, the woman reading him his Miranda rights. 
Spencer almost made a grab for her then, because she was still creeping forward towards the man who had a loaded gun still live in his hand. He didn’t care for one second that the statistics said Bobbie wouldn’t lay a hand on her since she wasn’t part of his list. He didn’t care that every sign pointed to their UnSub being benevolent towards women, especially younger ones, that she fit his daughter’s description. Spencer didn’t care, he wanted her as far away from that gun as possible. 
His heart lurched into his throat when Bobbie did in fact make a lunge for her, just not the way he’d feared. Because she had grabbed him. She’d pulled him into an embrace, a hug, kind and sweet as she always was. 
Spencer cursed her for being so soft. It was going to get her killed. 
“Agent,” His voice was terse, worried if you dug a little deeper than the sharp surface, but she didn’t listen to him. She held Bobbie tight as the man unravelled on her shoulder, falling into heart breaking sobs and it was then Spencer realised she was crying with him. 
“It’s going to be okay, you’re okay,” She was shushing him, the killer, reassuring him he was safe, as if the killing thing wasn’t still between his fingers that clutched at her back with rough hands. 
“They killed my girl, they took her from me, and then they laughed about it,” He wailed, and she nodded, squeezing him even tighter if that was so possible, “No one would listen, the police didn’t listen, I had to do something,”
“I know, I know, I’m so sorry,” This was wrong. She wasn’t supposed to be sympathising with the criminals. But she couldn’t help it, she couldn’t help the gasping urge to comfort the man who had lost his whole world, “I’m listening. Tell me about her,” 
“She was so beautiful,” Bobbie whimpered, sniffling into her shoulder. Spencer felt his chest twinge at the scene. He hated that she was so soft. “She never hurt a soul,”
She cried with him, though hers were choked down as much as she could get them, her wet cheeks the only proof she had ever let them slip. 
“I’m sorry,” She said again, because no matter how many times she repeated those two little words, it would never bring his daughter back, “I can help you,”
He pulled away from her shoulder, and it was only then that Bobbie Wrids even noticed Spencer, his face taut in anxiety as he watched the man’s hands still holding onto her body as if she was the only thing that kept him upright, which Spencer wouldn’t be surprised if it were true. 
He fished the cuffs out of his back pocket, his finger never leaving the trigger as he stared down at their UnSub cautiously. He knew he may be being cruel, knew that ten years ago he would be just as caring as her. But that Spencer was long gone. And what remained was screaming in terror that she was in the line of danger, that she was holding the danger in her bare hands like she didn’t see the jeopardy she was putting herself in. 
Bobbie pulled away to look at her, the creases around his eyes deep chasms, and even with the smattering of grey hair, the stubble, the cold, empty look of someone with nothing left, she thought he might have been a handsome man once. He looked at her with a ghost of a smile, and one of his callused hands came up to tuck her hair behind her ear as if it had been second nature to him for eighteen years. 
“You’re a sweet girl,” He murmured, and she blinked at him, her chest easing at the way his wails had subsided into something quiet. She could help him, she swore she would help him. He was a good man beneath it all. “But no one can help me anymore, sweet girl,”
And with that he lifted the pistol beneath his chin and pulled the trigger.
She heard someone scream before she realised it was coming from her own throat, but her ears were ringing and she couldn’t open her eyes. Her face was wet and hot, and for a second she thought it was tears, but she was beyond crying now. She felt arms pulling her back into a strong chest, and someone was murmuring to her, or perhaps they were speaking normally and the sound of the gunshot had knocked her hearing. Either way, it was like someone had pulled a bag over her head as she brought her shaking hands up to her eyes to wipe. 
She managed to crack her lids then when the sludge was gone, only to see the room still a blurry mess. She could make out, in the haze of blobs and crimson tint, Bobbie’s body slumped to the floor, a dark puddle seeping into the rug as those long arms tugged her out of the room. She only then looked down to her hands where she had rubbed her face and she caught the same claret plasma coating her fingers, her white shirt, her pants, her arms. It covered her head to toe. 
It was in her eyes, she realised when she saw the ichor coating her fingertips. It was blocking her vision, turning the world a vivid wine colour, and she thinks she whimpered, or perhaps it was a moan of horror seeing the puddle beneath Bobbie’s body growing larger by the second. 
“I don’t understand,” She said out loud, her head spinning, and she brought her fingertips up to her eyes again, maybe to get the blood out, god there was so much blood on her face, or maybe because she hoped to everything out there that she would clear her sight and find it all a terrible hallucination, the product of one too many nights of sleepless tossing. 
But when she rubbed her lids again, this time seeing the scene a little better, Bobbie was still dead. She had still been too late. 
“You’re in shock, you need to breathe,” A voice instructed her over her shoulder, and it was from the same person who had their hands around her waist, pulling her away from the crime scene, as CSI filed in from behind them. 
She tried pushing the arms off her, weak because she couldn’t feel anything that wasn’t the horror in her stomach, and it took her a second before she listened to their words and realised she was holding a breath in her chest, the way a toddler does when they’re overwhelmed. 
“I don’t-” She gasped, the air rushing through her lungs, so fast it made her cough, “I don’t understand, I was going to help him- I don’t understand- why?”
“I know, just breathe for me, sweetheart,” Spencer. She only just realised it was Spencer speaking, because he had never called her that and the gentle tone he’d taken was nothing like his usual, civil cadence. He had been dropping a few jokes the past few weeks since she’d driven him home, had been more touchy feely with correcting her form when she was at the shooting range, had delicately touched the small of her back when they were navigating a crowd together. He was slowly cracking from his statuesque expression that hadn’t left his face since he’d gotten out of prison, but the softness with which he held her waist was entirely new. 
“Spencer, I don’t- I don’t get it,” She said, her voice bubbling into a sob as she allowed herself to be pulled away with no fight left in her. He took her into the hallway, turning her body from the sight of his hand lifeless on the floor with little to no effort. She was damn near limp in his arms, “Spencer, I don’t under-understand, I was going to h-help him, why would h-he do that-”
“Shhh, you need to breathe,” He murmured into her hair, trying to lead her out the front of the building and far away from where she’d just been front row seats to a messy suicide, “Come on, just breathe for me, baby, and then we can talk,”
But she wasn’t listening, and he wasn’t offended. Spencer knew it was the shock. He knew the symptoms by how her respiratory system had picked up in a matter of seconds and it was like she had gone from zero to a hundred. She let out a long whine, tears collecting the blood on her lash line and her chest seized into action, gulping down air, too short to do anything for her lungs, and her legs began to buckle beneath the two of them. 
Spencer stopped in the hallway, realising she was in more shock than he must have thought. He knew she was sensitive, hell it was one of his favourite things about her. He knew she felt everything so deeply, burned too easily, like a daisy wilting in a dry heat, or candyfloss melting in his mouth. Spencer knew, as awful as watching death up close was for any agent, it would hit her hardest of all of them. 
He moved around to her front, his hands migrating from her waist up to her shoulders, brushing over her upper arms soothingly. But her body felt numb, her head felt heavy, and her eyes were glazed over, down a rabbit hole entirely away from him, even when one of his hands cupped her wetted cheek gently. 
“Just breathe, hey, look at me,” He tried a firmer tone, and she bent to his will too easily. It was a punch in the gut seeing everything shining and pretty leached out of her eyes, as if she had become soulless in a matter of minutes, as if she had lost all hope in the world the second Bobbie pulled that trigger. She looked like hell, blood still fresh on her cheeks, in her hair, smeared around her eye sockets where she had scrubbed so hard to get it off her skin, “You need to calm down, you’re going to faint if you don’t breathe,”
She nodded, or something close to it, her eyes falling down to the floor, and she seemed to wrestle for control over her chest then. But what came after was worse, Spencer thought. Her brows screwed together, her eyes welling up with more of those fat tears, and her lips dropping into a devastated pout, her eyes trailing over the mess on her uniform, on her hands. 
“Spencer, I don’t understand, I tried to help him, I wanted to help him,” She sobbed, sniffling to herself miserably, and he barely even thought about it when he pulled her into his chest, not caring that her skin would dirty his shirt. 
His hand wound into her hair, stroking her sweetly as she buried her wails into his vest. He used his other arm to pull her close to him, which she seemed to have zero qualms about as she clawed at his back to keep him close, as if she didn’t want to face what was going to happen when they left that building. 
Spencer regretted ever thinking her sunshine was too bright for him. 
She hadn’t smiled in a whole week. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She had given Penny a very forced smile when she had fussed over the younger woman the first day she got back, had said thankyou with downcast eyes and a fragile grin when the blonde presented her with a framed picture of a puppy to keep on her desk ‘incase she needed something nice to think about,’
She hadn’t looked at it once, because they both knew it wouldn’t do anything, no matter how much she pretended for Penelope’s sake that she would put it to good use. 
He had taken her out for coffee on him that first day, but by the time they had got to the front of the queue, he had been doing almost all of the talking, which had become rare nowadays since he had come home from Mexico. Usually, it had been her filling the silences, because he knew in her right mind she hated the sound of static nothingness, she found it awkward and unnecessary when she could talk to anyone without thinking about it too hard. 
They had got to the desk, the barista smiling up at him as he ordered his usual, before he turned to look at her as the woman serving asked her what she would like. But she wasn’t listening, she was watching out the window, nothing particularly invigorating beside a bird cleaning its feathers on top of a stop sign. 
He said her name, putting his hand on her back and her head whipped around, her eyes empty as they looked up at him expectantly, “What do you want to drink?” 
She blinked, waking herself from a stupor, and looked at the barista with an embarrassed expression, “Hot chocolate, please,” 
And that was all she really had to say until lunch rolled around, and she excused herself to head home early. Emily smiled at her reassuringly, her eyes wary as she watched their happy-go-lucky rookie head for the elevators with a desolate look in her eyes. 
Spencer hoped she would come around on her own, or maybe even be brave enough to talk to someone about the thoughts rattling around that head of hers, but she just didn’t. She stayed as silent as possible, only ever speaking when spoken to, asking Emily if she could finish off her reports at home, to which the Prentiss woman never protested. 
But Spencer had had enough. He’d worried himself sick over her, and where all thoughts of how endearing and lovely and charming she was had sat in his head before, now it was all just ways he could think to make her smile again. 
It was the following Tuesday by the time he braved action. She had gone home after their midday briefing, apologising to Emily with tired eyes that seemed to be growing more and more heavy by the day, like she hadn’t slept a wink in a fortnight. Which Spencer thought was entirely possible. 
He pulled up to the house Penelope had not so discreetly told him was hers, definitely not because he’d asked, and definitely, definitely not breaching any human resource policies about distributing fellow workers information (meaning Spencer had almost certainly not begged Penelope for the address with those puppy eyes of his he knew could bag him anything). 
The peonies in the window bays were wilting but her house was something out of a fairytale. He wasn’t sure why he was really so surprised. It screamed her, everything about it, from the toadstool post box to the little green, cast iron bench that sat in the garden, the metal forged to look like florets of ivy holding the sitter upright. 
He rapped the brass knocker, the metal cold under his long fingers. Brushing invisible dirt off his shirt, he hoped she would answer as the present squirmed at his feet. 
“Just a second,” He hushed, and as if she heard him, the front door swung open to reveal her bare face he hadn’t seen since he’d helped her wipe the blood from her skin in the back of the ambulance. 
She looked at him with furrowed brows, before they quickly shot to the floor, to her cobbled pathway that had clicked under his shoes, and her face washed with a shock. 
“Oh my god, Spencer!” She crouched to her knees, a slobbery lick immediately meeting her cheek as the Spaniel rubbed his wet nose up to her ear, sniffing her unique smell, as if it was a bag of Class A’s, “I never knew you had a dog,” 
“I don’t,” He replied, kneeling with her to ruffle the soft fur behind the canine’s ear, “This is Ace. He retired from the Bomb Unit a month ago and Penelope sent me his handler’s number. They said he’s the happiest dog in the world,” 
 “I would be too if I stopped so many people from blowing up,” She said, but before he could ask what she meant exactly by that, Ace had jumped up and attacked her entire face with kisses as if he too thought that statement was worth silencing. 
And she laughed. She laughed louder than she had in days, weeks, her eyes crinkling in joy as the little pink tongue stole away her sorrow, tickled away the traces of the blood that had tainted her skin. 
Spencer smiled, his eyes watching her face scrunch in a squeal, hands eventually coming up to the elderly dog’s jowls to gently push him down. 
“Oh, you are the sweetest guy,” She said, and the words had him tugging at the leash to lick her all over again, “Yes you are, you’re the sweetest little guy around, huh?” 
She chuckled, scratching down the mutt’s neck, and her eyes flicked back up to Spencer, who watched her with more intent than she’d realised. 
“Petting and receiving affection from pets causes spikes in serotonin in our brain and reduces anxiety, did you know that?” Spencer said, Ace pushing his muzzle into the palm of her hand to prove a point. 
Her smile wavered slightly, and she looked at his hazel hues that seemed to see right through her, “Look, I’m sorry I’ve been so off lately, I just can’t sleep at the moment-”
 “Don’t apologise,” He cut in, though his tone was kind, and the two of them stood back up to their full height, “What happened was horrifying, even some of the longest serving agents I know would struggle seeing that,” 
She scoffed, unusually pessimistic coming out of her mouth, “You wouldn’t,”
His head tilted, not quite understanding what she meant, because she hadn’t sounded cruel when she said it. Then again, he didn’t think she was actually capable of that emotion. 
She looked at him, a flash of something vulnerable in her eyes, something like that day he’d held her in the hallway; too fast he almost missed it.
“You’re so brave, Spencer, you’re like invincible. I mean, you survived prison and your mom getting kidnapped and you bounced straight back to work like it was nothing. I can’t even watch a murderer die without spiralling out of control,” She huffed, rubbing the bridge of her nose and before he could respond on just how wrong she was, before he could tell her that that was exactly the opposite of what had happened because he had damn near changed every inch of himself in prison to stop himself from breaking, he caught her murmuring and he thought he might just have been punched all over again, “I wish I was like you,”
His jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowing into a frown as he stepped towards her, and her head shot to him, worried she may have said the wrong thing by mentioning everything that had happened, everything Pen had specifically said was a touchy subject, and she opened her mouth to apologise. 
“Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that you are nothing like me?” Spencer said, his voice bordering on furious and her fumbled for a reply, worried she had truly pissed him off. 
She wouldn’t blame him for hating her. She’d always worried, until perhaps that day they’d gotten into her car and she’d driven him home, that her very essence annoyed him. 
“I’m sorry-” She started, but he shook his head.
“Stop apologising,” He said, his hand reaching up to grab where her fingers tugged together nervously, his hold featherlike, his face softening when he saw her expression, “I don’t want you to be anything like me. I like you just how you are,” 
She sighed, eyes doe like with emotion as she looked at him, “Really?”
He smiled, a rare and genuine smile as she seemed to glow under his words, “Yes, really.” Spencer allowed himself to enjoy the way that the twinkle returned to her expression when he smiled at her with something almost like the old Spencer in him, before he cleared his throat, “We all like you. Everyone on the team likes how you are,”
She paused, nodding to herself as if knocking herself out of a silly daze, and Ace bounced on his hind legs trying to get her attention again. 
“You don’t think I’m too sensitive?” She asked, holding her palm out for the dog to nuzzle at with that wet nose of his. 
Spencer shook his head, “Sensitive is good. It means you feel something. Means you feel the good things deeper too,” 
Her smile was blinding, because she’d never thought of it that way before, and she looked like her old self again. Spencer wasn’t stupid enough to think she was never going to think about Bobbie again, he still thought about that first UnSub he’d tried to save. He still thought about Tobias Hankel. He thought about them all. 
But he was going to make sure she never turned into him. He didn’t think he’d ever forgive himself if she did. He’d protect her sunlight even if it burned him to know he could never have her the way he wanted. Because she was everything good, and he was him. 
She looked down at Ace, the life returning to her as she stood aside for the two of them to enter her house, “Tea?”
Yep. Spencer felt something run hot knowing she would always be out of reach. Didn’t stop him from thinking about it, though. 
3K notes · View notes
actual-changeling · 1 year ago
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i have watched the kiss scene and the breakup as a whole more times than i can count and my brain is still trying to process all the things it picked up on.
my newest painful obsession: aziraphale thought crowley came back for him.
they kiss, aziraphale says i forgive you and instead condemns them both, crowley leaves. the lip touching itself is fucking essay worthy because holy SHIT the amount of micro expressions flickering across his face is endless, michael sheen acted his ass off.
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i think it's a mixture of surprise, unspoken love, a HEAVY dose of fear, disbelief, and oh my god what did he just do what did i just do. he turns away from the door and we get a very very quick shot of how exactly he is angled.
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standing up straight with faked spiteful anger, the same anger he spit at crowley out of fear and insecurity, chin up, clearly waiting for something - or rather someone. we gotta remember that every single time crowley has left aziraphale, he came back. every. single. time. he came back and apologized, that's what they do.
crowley comes back and aziraphale forgives him and they continue bearing their silence.
the bell rings when the door opens again, just like it did when crowley left, and just. look at his face. how quickly he swivels around. the blink and you will miss it spark of hope.
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and then the pure devastation when he realizes it's not crowley.
aziraphale thought crowley was coming back for him. he was WAITING for him to come back. even after all that, he couldn't imagine crowley actually leaving him behind, especially not after that kiss and his entire indirect love confession.
just like crowley thought for a tiny heartbeat that aziraphale was kissing him back, aziraphale hoped, hell, he fucking thought he KNEW crowley would never abandon him. not after "i could always rely on you. you could always rely on me." aziraphale has taken him for granted, of course he thought it was him coming through the door.
but that spark of hope gets stomped out beneath the metatrash's feet and he fully turns around, unable to face him and the reality of it all.
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this time, he went too far.
this time, crowley did not want forgiveness.
he was about to say i love you and turned it into i forgive you, still clinging to their old ways, their old rituals, just that they are no longer those beings, no longer in that specific relationship. everything has changed.
they both thought the other would never abandon them. turns out they were both wrong.
12K notes · View notes
criminalamnesia · 8 months ago
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GOD I LOVE traitor and how strong you've made the reader. It's amazing! And I eagerly await any future parts, whether it's big proper story or drabbles. BUT, you come first and your life does so you do what you gotta and go be amazing! We can wait. Proud of you X
im so late to responding, but thank you! <3
here’s part six :) also not really proofread so I apologize for any errors! I’ll fix them later!
ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE
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you don’t know how long you’ve been sitting on the floor, cross-legged amongst broken glass, brittle flowers, and discarded clothes, when someone knocks on the door.
you don’t move, don’t say anything. the noise seems distant— too far off to be real.
besides, if someone is really knocking on your door, they know you’re in here.
and if they know you’re in here, it could be one of five people. your former squad mates, or the doctor.
the knock sounds again. it shakes you from your stupor, yet you still make no move to answer it. let them come in; let them see what they’ve made of you. of who you were. of who you could’ve been.
the person on the other side of the door is speaking now. you register the muffled baritone as it fights to be heard from the hall.
you clench your fists, then unclench them— stretching out your fingers as far as they go. clench them again. unclench. stretch. repeat.
it’s a tick— a calming habit. you don’t think it’s working at the present moment.
the doorknob turns. you still don’t move.
the door is being pushed in, light from the hallway aggressively slicing through the darkness you’d left yourself in. you fought the urge to curl in on yourself.
you’d been so consumed by your anger— are consumed by it— but coming into this room and seeing that damn note was earth-shaking. it was terrifying, and it was a tangible reminder of the team’s unapologetic tactics. simon’s unapologetic tactics.
the voice is speaking once more, clearer now that the door is out of the way— but you can’t make out the words over the ringing in your ears.
a hand gingerly lands on your shoulder, and that’s when you snap.
you whirl around, throwing yourself into the intruder like a cobra striking its prey. clearly caught off guard, the person lets loose a ‘oomph’ and falls backwards as you take out their legs.
everything is fuzzy. the ringing in your ears crescendos, and it brings pain with it. you’re striking your target with reckless abandon, still not registering who is flailing underneath you.
punches land and land and land. nails scrape and scratch and draw blood. all you see is red— all you hear is the sharpening of a knife or the whirring of a saw.
and then there are hands on you, yanking you away from your victim. the red slowly starts to recede, the ringing in your ears subsiding.
it’s only then do you release you’re screaming.
its only then do you see the swollen and bloodied face of your doctor, lying a foot away from you. she sputters a cough, blood leaving her lips and splattering onto the man leaning over her.
“you need to calm down,” a voice speaks into your ear.
“calm down, or they’ll sedate you,” it says, and you finally stop screaming. you take a breath.
clench your fists. unclench. stretch. repeat.
it takes you another minute to calm down enough to realize the person holding you is simon.
the doctor is being carried away now, and you notice it’s johnny and kyle carrying her. you notice john is standing to your left, eyes full of sympathy and guilt as he looks at you.
“get,” you huff, reaching down to slap at the arms circling your middle. “off me.”
simon releases you instantly. you don’t hesitate to put distance between the two of you. a few feet, at least. he just stands there, eyes watching with an expression you can’t place.
“what happened, love?” john’s voice is a soft rumble as he speaks. he moves a hand toward you, but decides against touching you— even if he only wanted to comfort you.
“I—” you start, glancing down at your hands. they’re bloody again.
“I thought it was—” you try again, but stop yourself.
you thought it was what? thought it was who?
you had heard man’s voice speaking to you. your mind had twisted things— had given you something you wanted to hear, deep down— because it gave you the chance to strike.
it gave you the opportunity to tear apart whichever man from the 141 had been there to check on you.
and you know you had wished it was simon.
john takes a cautious step forward at your silence. “let’s get you somewhere private, yeah? somewhere to cool down.”
the fire licking at your veins has subsided in favor of the chill of shame. of terror at what you’ve done— what you’ve done to the one person you had on your side. the person who was truly on your side.
you don’t fight this time. you give a nod, then solemnly follow him down the corridor. simon falls in behind you.
john takes you to his office, opening the door and ushering you inside. you move without protest, stepping into the dark room.
the two men enter behind you, john flicking on the light while simon pulls the door shut. you would’ve laughed at the scenario if you were in your right mind.
but you weren’t.
you weren’t okay. you knew that you weren’t, at least physically, but what you just did…
there was no way you were going to be transferred now. you doubted you would’ve even before you attacked the doctor.
you’re going to be discharged. you understand why.
but it hurts. this is your job, your life. years and years on the battlefield don’t prepare you for life off of it.
“love?”
john’s voice brings you back to the present. you realize you’ve been standing in the center of the room, unmoving and unblinking.
you feel simon’s hard gaze on your back. you want to cry.
how did things ever get this fucked up?
“im fine.” you say, not bothering to turn around. you didn’t trust yourself to keep it together if you faced them.
“you’re not,” john states, and you roll your eyes.
“im not talking about this with you,” you bite out, circling your arms around yourself. “either of you.”
“you should at least talk to someone, love— this isn’t healthy.”
“please, stop.” you tell him, but john was never good at taking orders. he gave them, not followed them.
“you hated the therapist, and you haven’t spoken to anyone else since… everything.” he continues.
“stop, john,” you try again.
“you need to let it out, love. we’re here—”
you spin around then, fists dropping to your sides. “for the love of god, john, shut the fuck up.”
that stuns him into silence, eyes slightly widened and mouth agape as he looks at you. simon doesn’t move from his position near the door.
“you are the last people i would ever fucking talk to! I don’t even want to be talking to you right now, but you won’t stop trying. trying to talk to me, trying to make it up, trying to wriggle your way back into my good graces.”
you pause, sucking in a breath. “johnny must’ve relayed the message, and that’s why you’ve back off a little— but one wrong fucking move and you’re swooping again! you aren’t my dad, you aren’t my lover, you aren’t my friend, and you’re sure as hell not my fucking captain anymore.”
“so please, john, leave me be. the four of you have done enough.”
the room is silent for a beat, then two. then three. and then simon takes a step forward, removes his balaclava, and looks you square in the face.
he doesn’t open his mouth to speak, so you take the chance to.
“don’t start with me, simon. just don’t.”
“the note,” he says. “you read it.”
you just look at him, a disbelieving scoff leaving your mouth as you give a nod. “yes, I read your fucking note. and I saw the stupid flowers, too, after seeing everything else you wrecked. tell me, how long did you wait after you tied me up to tear it all apart?”
he just watches you. you want to scream.
the note flashes back into your mind.
‘hope you can understand.’
“does it make you feel better, thinking what you did was right?” you ask him.
“I wouldn’t have done it differently.” simon tells you.
you clench your fists. unclench. stretch.
breathe in, breathe out.
“and if the roles were reversed,” you said, watching him. “if you were in my position, would you have expected me to do what you did?”
“yes.” he says, without hesitation.
“you’re unbelievable,” you huff. “is that how little I meant to you? all that time, wasted?”
“that’s not what I said.” he tells you, and you shake your head.
“no, but it’s what you meant.” anger is bubbling up again. you feel overwhelmed; shame and fury battling inside you. the ringing building up in your ears again, emerging from the background.
you can’t do this.
“what i meant is what i said.” he takes another step forward. “you’re just too damn stubborn to listen, always have been.”
“just go, simon.” you tell him. “both of you. go.”
“I wouldn’t change what I did,” he says again. “to protect my team, my family, I would do whatever it takes.”
you bite your tongue. you don’t want to keep arguing with him. he was an unmovable object— there was no way to reason with him.
“im not sorry it happened.” he speaks. “i did what i thought i had to do. what i had to do to make sure my team was safe.”
“and you should understand that, considering this team is all you have, too.”
you don’t respond— and even if you were going to, a knock on the door breaks the tense silence in the room.
johnny pops his head in, his eyes full of concern. “doc’s alrigh’.” he says, his gaze catching yours. “jus’ some bumps and bruises. she’ll be jus’ fine.”
“and she uh— said she’s not pressin’ charges or anythin’. says she still expects to see ya in a few days for your check-up.”
that’s what breaks you.
a tear slips from your eye, falling onto your cheek. another follows, then another, and you’re sobbing as you fall to the floor of price’s office.
the three men are staring, but no one makes any move to comfort you.
probably wise, considering what you did to the last person who tried.
you faintly register the click of the door as it shuts again. you don’t look up— your head in your hands as you cry.
cry about what you’ve done, what you’ve lost. mourn your career and your family and your love for the man who doesn’t regret what he did.
unbeknownst to you, simon is the only one still left in the room. his steps are silent as he approaches you— leaving only a foot of space between your bodies now.
he watches you as he sinks to the ground across from you, his long legs folded over each other, the fingers of his left hand twitching as he finds himself wanting to reach for you.
he still cares for you. his feelings for you were what made him do what he did in the first place.
the love he felt for you, twisting into betrayal and hurt and agony. fueling his actions, his desire to hear you admit your wrongdoings.
passion made people dangerous. passion in love, passion in rage. it was a fine line, and simon had crossed it.
he understood what this meant for you. recalls the conversation he had with price earlier— how laswell was planning for your discharge instead of your transfer.
this was the end of your time with them, and in the military. the hands of the 141, damaging one of their own beyond repair.
he finds himself mourning alongside you, then. mourning what was and what could’ve been.
what should have been.
“im sorry for what we did to you,” he says, but it comes out as a whisper that you don’t hear.
“im sorry.”
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thank you all again for your patience! I plan on tying this little series up soon :)
as a reminder, I no longer do taglists. if you want to be notified when I post, follow @troiastitans and turn on notifications. I only reblog my works there.
I hope you all enjoyed :)
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