#the way they look around in a panic
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Yes we love it when Whumpee gets a call from an unknown number and Whumper, on the other end of the line, refers to them by name. Maybe Whumpee recognizes their voice, maybe they don’t. Either way it’s a classic.
What else is a classic? When Whumper comments on how scared Whumpee looks. Tells them to take a seat when they shouldn’t have known there was one available. Warns them not to get any bad ideas when Whumpee’s eyes stray towards an exit.
Getting a call from a stranger who knows their name is scary enough. Knowing they’re watching somehow and unable to see them, that’s terrifying.
#the slight pause as Whumpee realizes#then the ‘how do you know that?’#‘where are you?’#the way they look around in a panic#too afraid to hang up even as their hands start to shake#whump
198 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reuniting with a distorted past.
Extra:(New personality tested gone wrong)
wanted to play with rin living in the aftermath aus aswell and had these drawings laying around to share so yay
Panel 1: Was buried alive.
Comic 1: Who are you supposed to be?
new friends
Comic 2: Misguided protection.
obito still sensing the warning signs of rin losing her temper. anyways they proceeded to be dragged into the ocean by rin like some sea monster
Comic 3: Finding out (Now what will you do?)
obito is harshly brought back from his delusions because now its not just kushina but rin too who he needs to ripped out the tail beast from
#naruto#naruto fanart#kakashi hatake#rin nohara#obito uchiha#naruto sukea#fanart#art#my art#sketch#drawing#digital art#hope i can add something new and if not may i shall add fuel to the fire for rin!! :)#So Rin loses ALL of her memories forever (kinda)#the only thing that remains for sure is the feeling of missing something that she'll never reach it again#she's alone and is left to roam directionless until she meets an elderly civilian that is also alone#she stays with her for a year+ but she passes away. But Rin with her new identity decides to walk forward (with love comes pain#but to love at all was the greatest thing to her.) She cherishes her new memories and won't let it stop her from moving on#inbetween this time frame she meets isobu in her mind after he gains enough form within her (who is also without memories)#Now WAY LATER she meets Sukea who looks like he's about to panic and she tries to help (which uh doesnt work too well)#but then Sukea joins her on her travels (sending minato an letter through his summons of rin being alive and forgetting the mission)#they both wander around (he doesnt know how to bring up their past) but then obito appears (always at the wrong times)#At first glance he's pissed but then realizes that this isnt fake AND its both the worse thing yet best thing to ever happen#Now Rin thinks she made two new friends who give her feelings of warmth but they both also reminded her of something old she thinks#PS Minato and Kushina are freaking out back in the village but can't do anything about it (Obito hasn't acted on his plans yet so yes)
438 notes
·
View notes
Note
if aradia's death was just in-character for a long roleplay, what's the deal with tavros and terezi's disabilities? did vriska have anything to do with them?
She Did Do Those Things. vriska no!!!!!!
#im insane that vriska is a roleplayer#its so funny to me i love roleplaying jokes#for those not in the know: 'i was just acting in character' is a common phrase used by people Behaving Badly#vriskas like OOOOOOHHH you want me to break the carefully crafted and lovingly acted personality of marquise spinneret mindfang? you monste#listen!!! im playing as my spidersona!!!!! its what she would do shes a spider you want me to not act like a spider???#vriska. you threw the boy off a cliff screaming and cackling to yourself FLY PUPA FLY#thats not '''''''in character''''' marquise spinneret wouldnt have fucking done that you bitch!!! you just got bored and started#causing problems!!!!#her glasses details had to be shifted around because vriska saying to terezi 'its harder for me. i lost 7 eyes you only lost 2' is so fucki#oh my god vriska no. NO. VRISKA#but yeah she did still do those things. i wasnt sure how to handle this but i decided to go this way. a vriska is a vriska#vriska#homestuck#bugstuck#vriska serket#One time I got a death threat in the middle of an in-person roleplaying game. That underclassman just looked at me with hatred in their eye#a panic attack#then later after THAT they began openly weeping.
177 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Therapist
There's a new therapist at school.
Normally this wouldn't really bother Peter at all, since he's never gone to see a shrink in his life and doesn't ever plan on it, but there's something... off about this woman.
She seems unassuming enough at first glance. Red hair, green eyes, bright red lipstick. But there is something in her eyes, something that Peter can only describe as a predator looking at its next prey, when she looks around the school at all of the teenagers milling about. Heck, even the way she walks makes her seem as if she is a predator stalking her prey.
It could always be some kind of power move, Peter reasons. He's met people like that before, who try to intimidate everyone around them into thinking that they are superior, that they are the apex predator and anyone who dares to cross them would pay for it dearly.
But his Spidey Sense went crazy around her.
He tries to brush it off as paranoia. He'd pulled an all-nighter last night in the lab with Tony because neither of them had been able to sleep, and he hadn't been sleeping well even before that. (Funny, how it had all started the night after he first bumped into the new therapist in the halls.) So his Spidey Sense is probably out of wack because he's tired. Simple as that.
But it seems like everyone in the school is depressed. Even Ned, who can't even muster up the energy and enthusiasm to talk about Legos or Star Wars or even the weather. It worries Peter.
Because it all started when that therapist came to the school.
He can't ignore it forever, he knows that. There is only so long his Spidey Sense can tell him that she is danger danger danger before he finally listens. He has to do something to help everyone.
So he researches.
And he falls into the rabbit hole of ghosts and ectoplasm and secret government organizations and the little, unassuming town of Amity Park, Illinois.
He doesn't sleep that night.
When he comes to school the next morning, Dr. Penelope Spectra looks him dead in the eyes, and smiles.
#dpxmarvel#peter parker#penelope spectra#peter's boutta get a crash course in ghosts and ghost fighting#he is definitely not prepared#idk why spectra is in new york#specifically midtown tech#but she is#peter starts digging into amity park#he just wanted to find out who spectra is#and he did find out that she's a dangerous “ecto-entity”#he does not know what that is until he does more research#he's very shocked to learn that ghosts are apparently real#meanwhile tucker and the rest of team phantom is freaking out#someone just hacked past the media blackout or whatever around amity park#(you can thank friday (or karen if you prefer) for that)#they're surprised to see that it's coming all the way from new york#and even more surprised to see that the hacker went for spectra's files first#almost as if the hacker was specifically looking for them >:3#maybe danny goes to investigate and finds peter#btw peter can sense ghosts with his spidey sense even if they're invisible. especially if they're invisible#they team up to take spectra down#danny helps peter make some ecto-weapons and a specter deflector or something#then they catch spectra (and bernard because he's probably there too and i'm kinda just now realizing that)#peter gives danny his phone number as thanks and tells him to call him if he ever needs anything#peter doesn't know who phantom is btw. he just knows that his new friend is a ghost that luckily knows how to use technology like phones#maybe there's even a bad reveal a little further down the line and danny calls peter in a panic because sam and tucker have done everything#they can and he needs to get as far away from amity as possible#peter is very surprised to find that his ghost friend is only half ghost and is then very ticked that danny's parents tried to capture#and vivisect him
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
This tweet reminded me of how absolutely bugfuck insane the His Dark Materials trilogy is. This is a YA series, contemporaneous to Harry Potter. And it legit goes from "You have a part of your soul outside of your body in animal form, it can be used like a battery" to "Organized religion is a fucking fraud and you need to put God out of his misery then tear down the Church".
Also there's a talking bear, witches, and ritual consumption (as in literal consumption in a ritual) of an honored friend so you can take their power inside yourself.
You read that shit at a formative age and it changes the the whole fucking trajectory of your life.
#pear text#his dark materials#this was also around the time of the harry potter 'panic'#perhaps it's because i don't live in a heavily catholic area#i'd never heard anybody mention hdm in the same way#i felt very smug and subversive#like i'd truly found something out#(look i was like 19 cut me some slack)
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
currently at That Point which occurs once every few months where one briefly begins pacing around the house teary eyed contemplating selling their own organs or becoming an online scammer or getting on anxiety meds so you can bear the risk taking required to be a hitman or so on and so forth.... why must everything so Expensive... Surely all would be healed in life if only I had one big plate of lasagna and a simple loan of $40,000 ... auoughhh....
#And then you just eventually shrug and go 'welp. nothing i can do i guess' and sad cartoon music plays as you shuffle back to your room#It's just hard with my specific physical and mental issues since it's like.. I couldn't really handle most jobs. I can't handle school. I'm#100% aromantic and asexual so I'll never get married so I can't get money that way. I have too much issues with social cues#+ too nervous temperament + too low energy to put effort into lying and having a fake relationship just for money. so on and so forth etc.#Really I should have just been born into a middle class family. Which I guess everyone says. but ESPECIALLY considering my#chronic conditions kind of hampering my ability to function 'normally' or be Independent in a regular way. I'm always going to be#in some way sort of beholden to the whims of people around me who I must depend on. so... well of course they might as well have been rich#lol like that would have been better for me of course.#AAANyway... Just thinking about another stupid fucking climate change summer... months keep going by so fast.. soon it will be so again#And it's like such SMALL things would make drastic improvements for me. Literally if I just had a place with central AC#then like 75% of my issues with summer would vanish instantly. literally. But instead it's like.. having a cheap hot apartment + only#half functional dinky window ac + my illnesses that make me heat sensitive + living in a part of the country that keeps getting hotter +#inability to leave the house much meaning I can't just go spend time in a cooler place etc. all factors which combine together to make#it just utterly miserable for MONTHS and mentally draining. And literally ALL I would need to fix that is just...#have a place with central AC that works.. (or move to a colder country/area but that also takes money. Or just not have illnesses#that make me heat sensitive. but that I can't control). etc. etc. I guess it's just the nature of the constant background frustration of#being part of The Masses under our current manifestation of unmitigated capitalism. Such minor details would make such huge#quality of life improvements and yet will remain ever out of reach. ONE little thing could change your whole life but you can't even have#that. so many 'If only' scenarios. etc. And of course obviously I am incredibly thankful just to have anywhere to live at all. food to eat#. any sort of stability whatsoever no matter how fragile it feels/is. But that still doesn't make it not frustrating occasionally to look#around and see how relatively little would have to change in order for you to be a decent percentage more comfortable and yet#how still far away even those ''small'' seeming goals are. etc. etc.#Seriously think I've been traumatized by the summer or something somehow lol like thinking about it being warm weather eventually#makes me nauseous with panic. It's just SOOO much labor. micromanaging windows and fans and blocking every ounce of light#and not being able to cook (cant even afford a single degree of temp increase due to the stove) for months and barely being able#to sleep for months and the claustrophobia of days on end crawling out of your skin because it doesnt even get cool enough at#night to offer relief so you're just always feeling trapped.. hgrhh...#It starts getting hot here sometimes in May but mostly June then lasts through October now.. thats like half the year almost.. ARghhH#anyway... If any extremely rich person reading this would like to buy me an air conditioned house in exchange for multiple years worth#of art (I will paint murals on all of your grand dining halls and make all the custom sculptures you could ever want etc) then.. hewwo :'3c
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
A future fic carcass I'll write when I write (after I finish 9 ungoing fics)
King Viserys dies at the wedding celebration of his daughter, Crown Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen.
No one else does.
I am a firm believer Otto and Viserys are the rot on the face of the House of the Dragon and without these two everything would be fine-ish.
Unfortunately, we need Vissy T for his kids to be born, so Viserys dies soon after Aemond is conceived. Sorry, Daeron, not this time.
Joffrey doesn't die because he doesn't manage to provoke Criston before the king dies.
Rhaenyra overrules his father's decision and marries Harwin Strong.
Their son Jacaerys Targaryen is the heir to the throne, Lucerys Targaryen is the heir to Harrenhal.
Daemon marries Laena and lives at Dragonstone (Rhaenyra grants him that), their firstborn is the heir of Driftmark.
Laenor joins the Queensguard and is sent to Dragonstone to protect Prince Daemon (ha) and his future heirs.
Criston Cole becomes the Commander of City Watch while still retaining his white cloak (what? He did it in canon, can do it here).
Rhaenyra removes Tyland Lannister as the master of ships and appoints Corlys Velaryon (back).
When Baela and Rhaena are born, it is decided to betroth Prince Aegon and Lady Baela, making him future lord-consort of Driftmark (and successfully removing him out of succession of the iron throne).
When Jace is born, his and Helaena's betrothal is announced.
Baelon is born without an issue and the royal family meets at the celebration on Dragonstone, where Aemond claims Cannibal and loses an eye in the process.
(Kinslayer, everyone. It fits).
Afterwards Luke is sent as a ward to Harrenhal with his father. A huge ass scene ensures there Luke clings to Aemond and refuses to go.
Aegon makes a greasy comment and gets punched.
Both Aegon and Baela are sent as wards to Driftmark.
Lucerys still leaves.
Harrenhal doesn't burn bc even if Larys kills Harwin and Luke, there's still Lyonel and Joffrey in the equation. Lyonel keeps serving Queen Rhaenyra as her Hand.
Years later the royal family meets at the wedding celebration of Baela and Aegon, where Luke and Aemond behave very much like Rhaenyra and Daemon at Rhaenyra's not happened wedding.
Rhaenyra and Alicent clutch at their pearls, Rhaenyra suggests father died because of seeing something like that.
Daemon asks if she implies they killed Viserys, then asks where is Baelon.
Laena replies Baelon is playing knights with Joffrey.
Rhaenyra and Harwin Strong (no) have three more children, Aegon, Viserys and Visenya, all silver-haired like their mother (her uncle).
Laena is fine with it, they have a poly. Laena doesn't have more children because Baelon's birth was a ghasty one.
Baelon claims the Grey Ghost.
Otto is never called back to the capital because (suprise!) Rhaenyra didn't rush to kill her 3 y.o brother or the other one who was born after Viserys' death. Instead she marries Aegon off so he's no threat.
Aemond eventually joins the Queensguard and is appointed to the future lord of Harenhall.
Lucerys refuses to marry and appoints his brother Viserys as his heir, who marries Visenya. They have a very good life in Harrenhal.
The reason Luke skips over Joffrey is because Joffrey is always at the sea (with Baelon), and Aegon the Younger is bethrothed to Baela and Aegon the Elder' firstborn, Laena.
Everyone lives happily ever after, Otto gets to be the head of the house Hightower after he successfully plots against his own kin, since his blood is secured on the throne, if in unconventional for him way.
He once tried to manipulate Aegon, but was cut off sharply by Rhaenys and Corlys, who kind of adopted the boy as theirs.
Aegon enjoys wandering about Essos very much, he, of course, whores around, but he and Baela have an agreement. One of Baela's children is born from Alyn of Hull, but no one is any wiser, since everyone just thinks the child looks like her.
Jacaerys and Helaena have three kids, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera and then Maelor.
Jaehaera is oldest and so is the heir.
Oh, and Rhaena is happily married to Corwyn Cobray. They have a daughter, Rhaenys.
#hotd#hotd au#queen rhaenyra#hotd fanfic#fuck viserys#i will write it one day bc i have such a vivid image of the scenes such as: viserys' death. rhaenyra overruling her father's decision#explaining it and trying to mediate it so Corlys wouldn't start another war#'i thought it was in the tradition for the king or queen to marry their hand's child'#the greens' FACES at that#rhaenyra gathering Laenor and his entire fam and suggesting queensguard#“but then he won't be able to wed a woman. have a family-”#-exactly *Rhaenyra and Laenor lock gases. she nods. he nods.* -i accept#Aemond just fucking WANDERING AWAY TO CLAIM THE SCARIEST ASS DRAGON THAT IS THERE#the total panic then Laenor finds him and brings back with EYE LESS. (he almost got to the castle but fainted mid way)#corlys trying to push for baelon as the heir and laena&rhaenys being: “NO”#the unspoken kinship in the house of whoring around. Harwin being like “i support my wife's wrongs” and loving egg vis and visenya as his#NO ONE KNOWING THEY'RE NOT HIS. LIKE LEGIT THEY COULD BE HIS OR HARWIN'S. EVEN RHARNYRA DOESN'T KNOW#aegon living his best life as a sailor and explorer#Aemond looking at Laenor and being like “i can do that too”#laenor living THE BEST LIFE by his sis and her husband/his friend's side. and Joffrey is ALIVE#criston eventually getting over himself and accepting that Rhaenyra indeed couldn't run away with him#like imagine if they run away and then vissy t died#whoops i guess#also i just realized i accidentally made it so that Harrenhal is eventually ruled not by Strongs but Daemon's kids#lmao i guess#They are Targaryens (tm) your honor#the amount of dragons they're about to have...like harrenhal has 4 just with luke aemond and visx2#Dragonstone has 3 even if all kids scatter about#cobrays have 2 (Rhaena's and her daughters)#driftmark has at least 3 and then Laena is born and its 4
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m picking up way more Norwegian than i expected watching Skam. I fully expected that I’d watch the entire series once through understanding practically nothing of the audio and then in subsequent rewatches after having really picked up my studies (I’m at zero studies rn) start picking up words and phrases.
I’ve already got the days of the week, quite a few personal pronouns, several variations of hello and goodbye, some numbers, variations of yes and no, please and thank you, sorry, and a few short phrases (it’s all right, are you ok. Are you sure- that kind of thing) that I can understand while having looked away from the screen and missed the subtitle, and I’m only in episode 7.
#I do understand that Norwegian is super complex and any beginners luck I’m having here is temporary#but I’m also encouraged that I’m starting to pick up basics#and if after some deep study I went and just thrown-off-the-deep-end immersed myself I’d probably not die#and like I KNOW the majority of Norwegians speak english way better than I’ll ever speak Norwegian#and in daily interactions I wouldn’t HAVE to be fluent#but if I ever traveled there/lived there I’d want to understand enough to watch tv and understand the news and just be normal there#also I think if I ever did move there I would tell all my friends to force me to speak Norwegian 100% with them#because that’s how I got fluent in Spanish#I was CONVERSATIONAL and probably a B1 before I went to Guatemala#my friend (english but living in Guatemala) took our other english speaking friend with her one day#and looked at me and was like ‘you speak enough Spanish you will be fine’ and sent me off with her friends who knew not one word of english#the ‘speak or die’ panic immersion after the first 12 hours had me LITERALLY forgetting words in english already#I was SO TERRIFIED at the start of the day like buddy I don’t speak THAT much Spanish to abandon me to the wolves#but being FORCED to do it reprogrammed my brain so drastically that I was scoring a C2 by the time I got home#it was that first 12 hours of complete immersion that made something in my brain just switch off english#my inner voice itself swapped to Spanish#something about my subconscious realizing ‘english will not help you here—don’t worry I’ll delete it for extra space’#so for the rest of the trip I never spoke another word of English and was confidently chatting and bartering with the sales people#and any word I didn’t know I just described in Spanish like my brain didn’t even provide me with the english word#and as soon as the person I was talking to told me the right word for what I was describing#that word encoded instantly#it was an amazing bypass of having to translate in and out of English#I could have probably spent two months there fumbling around and not learned much without that day-2-of-the-trip 12 hours of immersion
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
another thing i realized is that in the crosswalk sequence, dora is only criticizing hdb for 1) lack of success (his poverty mainly) and 2) some of his inherent traits, like his mental illness and age.
she's only being cruel to him over things he realistically can't control. in revachol especially, he can't help that he's poor. there's nothing he can do about his age. there's nothing he can do about the fact that he gets "unbearably sad– no one gets that sad" or is sometimes "hysterical". she calls him a poor, sick, insane old man. but never once does she bring up behavior, which is another reason i think that dream is largely him projecting. there's no way that dora wouldn't have focused on any behaviors of his instead– his lying, manipulation, fits of anger, etc. she definitely was upset about his drinking (like with the flashback while he's hugging billie) but that's really the only time we get an example of her being upset with actions and not an inherent or unchangeable trait of harry's.
harry can't remember the things he did. he doesn't know any of the other things she might have gotten upset at him for– forgetting important dates, never helping at home, spending too much, yelling at her, literally, who knows?– he just knows that he's poor, sad, old (kim thought he was 58!) and deeply mentally unwell. so in his state he just concludes that those reasons must be entirely why she left.
#like the way that she talks to him just sounds to me like the things he'd think while looking in a mirror you know#he looks at himself and he doesn't know much anymore but what does he know?#that he's poor and sad and old and completely mentally wrecked#he wakes up hearing voices and talking to himself and finds evidence of his suicide attempts everywhere#and has panic attacks over the tiniest things and it seems like he never makes sense to anyone around him#by the phasmid encounter he's ready to accept that he really has gone insane. this is how he thinks of himself now#disco elysium#harry du bois#disco elysium meta#dora ingerlund#kiwipost#hdb meta#di meta
148 notes
·
View notes
Note
oooooh it is so very late at night and I am having #thoughts #emotional #notclickbait
thinking about how in the grand scheme of things IK is like. inherently the bravest being in the devildom
Mind You it's not even to do with the massive amounts of trauma she's been through, it's solely because she is a human
Humans lives are like a second long compared to these centuries (eons even) old demons- she knows virtually nothing in the grand scheme of things compared to them
And yet despite her knowing nothing (and being aware that she knows nothing and could die at any second) she still walks forward with little hesitance, trusting and learning and growing which is the bravest thing you can really do as a human (imo)
Even just the fact that she lives knowing she could die at literally any moment makes her braver than like. half the cast. because while yes they have all been through their respective traumas, they still live for HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of years, and every like. 200 years or so they'll maybe once think 'man i've been alive a long time' and continue on with their day
IK, as a human, looks around at just. the place she's in. and registers that virtually anything there could kill her and says 'yeah I could probably survive'
I honestly feel like it awes the others, especially given their lack of knowledge on humans. If I was a demon I'd be like 'shouldn't thinking about dying break your brain or smth' and here's this baby walking around like 'hey how many ounces of fucking cyanide could I chug before things start getting serious'
And I rewatched Finding Nemo recently and pictured this scene with Lucifer and IK and I think I severely dehydrated myself with how much I cried
IK: "He says to let go! Everything is gonna be alright!!"
Lucifer: "How do you know?! How do you know something bad isn't going to happen?!"
IK: "I don't!"
SHE KNOWS NOTHING!! SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF HOW FATE CARRIES HER OR WHAT SORT OF INEXPLICABLE DANGERS LIE AHEAD OR EVEN THE BASICS OF HOW MAGIC WORKS AND YET SHE BRAVES THE UNKNOWN ANYWAYS AMD LUCIFER IS IN AWE!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE SICK
this is us right now THAT'S OUR GIRL
for real though. it's like watching a baby bird fly for the first time. it's tiny and helpless and could be crushed in an instant in a predator's jaws, but it clambers out of the nest and jumps for the sky anyway, even if it could very well smash itself to pieces on the rocks below
one of my favourite genres of character tbh... i love that baby bird so dearly
#answering asks#whensam#i think the especial thing with lucifer is that as avatar of pride#he moves forward with absolute certainty that he WILL be able to handle what comes next#(and he panics when confronted with the fact that he can't)#versus ik who's tumbling on with no idea where she's going or what she's doing#it's like. we see lucifer adapt to new life in the devildom by dedicating himself to earning his place there#it's all deliberate and calculated because he needs him and his brothers to survive#whereas ik gets there. looks around. realises 'oh this place is a death trap.' and just keeps chugging along#she wanders her way home and that's how she thrives#they're both lonely at the start of their arcs in different ways#but lucifer thinks he can do it on his own while ik always welcomes company on the road#auhgh i love doing this. i love getting emotional and introspective over my own characters spshdfhsk#!lucifer
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think writing the fic has cured us. Never had this much fun with the last half an hour of the movie. YES, Cara, name your fucking monkey your first consul responsible for military and civil affairs of the Empire. Fuck those other guys, Dondus has this covered. GAMES AND MASS EXECUTIONS let's fucking go!
Macrinus getting banged in the face with a rock? Eviscerated? Dunked into the ditch to rot? What a time to be alive. Eat shit you fucking garbage man. This is what you get for hurting people.
Ravi you're a beautiful underappreciated angel. I hope your children know that you're a hero.
#and yeah had the panic attack we were due for the coffee.#it real big fucking hard right out the theatre and I had to look like a weird druggie#shoving pills in my mouth in front of the toilets#I have bloodflow to my fingers for the first time since this morning#rest and digest baby#debated going to see Conclave but I'm way too wired#need to get home I have like 5 major plot points for the story READY to go#I know how we get Lucius in#and everything besides that is fucking awesome#I can't wait to be writing#gladiator spoilers#Geta. I'm going to fix your life so much.#Assuming I don't die of anxiety before then#but honestly it hasn't killed me yet so. risk is low#my fucking lips are like pins and needles though#I hate adrenaline I want my glands removed#piss ass disease (panic disorder)#my legs are shaking so bad I don't understand how fear works#if I was dying I wouldn't be just walking around thinking about the Roman Empire#so why do I have to keep being in fight/flight. I'm not running from shit I'm trying to have a good time
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
funniest thing that ever happened when we were playing botw was my sister was playing and she had made it up to the top of the tower in hyrule field (the one surrounded by guardians) and was looking down at the guardians through a slot in the like railing and i was like "you should shoot the guardian" because i thought they were out of range and so she shot the guardian in the eye with an arrow and it came alive and immediately hit link with a laser and link instantly died ragdolled and fell through the slot and miphas grace activated and my sister immediately teleported away while mipha was still doing her thing. and i was just laughing so hard.
#its just the image of link limply falling to the ground miphas ghost around him then turning into tendrils of blue light. i wish i had#filmed it. but there was no way i couldve predicted it would happen i was living in the moment#after i finish minish cap i will finish botw it has been over a year...im sorry daruk i left you hanging (when we stopped i had just entere#vah rudania)#though i might do naboris first bc . i dont want to fight thunderblight last when it has even more hp thats scary.#(weve already done vah ruta and vah medoh)#its kind funny in totk i got like all of the towers right away (although the one on mt lanayru was a struggle bc#i did not have enough cold protective stuff but i was just scaling the mountain out of pure spite)#one of the gerudo desert ones i also didnt have any heat protection so i was just trying to do the thing while link was just taking damage#anyways but in totk i got all the towers i think b4 we did any main quest stuff but then in botw#there were some towers that i just. i tried but i didnt get until i had revalis gale lol. shout out revalis gale.#anyways speaking of funny things in botw totk the other day i was playing totk and i was#i put link in a christmas outfit (dyed the rito shirt and pants and the cap of the wild red)#and made a sled to attach to my horse so link could be santa. and i was trying to make it to rito village#but the bridge on the map was smaller in real life than it looked on the map and the horse refused to walk on it but i kept trying to force#him to inch forward to try and make it across. and then my horse CLIPPED THROUGH the bridge and started FREE FALLING#and in a panic i teleported straight back to the stable and took out another horse as fast as i could. the horse was fine but i did#go to malanya and cook him some food to upgrade my horse immediately afterwards lol#botw lowkey traumatized me bc when i was playing twilight princess i did not use epona as much as i could because i was afraid of bringing#her into danger. and even though i logically knew that she cannot die in twilight princess the years of playing botw still had alarm bells#ringing. but like why do the horses have to die in botw totk...come on...#they dont even disappear the corpse just stays there to let you stew in your guilt!! like the livestock on farms and in stables#cant get hurt! so why can your horses :(
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
cant fuck with fandom takes that defuck extremist characters. blorbo set fire to multiple buildings killed dozens and will do so again. every incident is accompanied by a rant about some warped issue or pathetic self perspective and a lot of bared teeth. then enough people who watched the same thing i watched will just.. not register that this is an angry personality. objectively bad and toxic. among other things. like suddenly seeing takes about this genuine asswipe being a normal chill person. where did u see this. what happened. where is my genuinely unwell off-putting blorbo. who the fuck is this
#many such cases. no disrespect to AU stuff and hc's and the like etc but this isn't about that#specifically now i saw a poor jinx take that's just the latest thing to act like a last straw for me with this stuff lol#she is not a foil in any way to silco fellas. her freak matches his freak. they make each other worse. theyre not normal.#the dynamic is so far from sanitized and this is one of the things that fictional literalism & the moral panic that accompanies it f'ed up#it didnt use to be such an issue that characters like jinx are just Like That bc jinx is a character from a show to be played with#we dont HAVE to justify her actions through lenses that adhere very strictly to reality bc it ISN'T real#it's a narrative that in bulk conveys “hey wana see something fucked up”#but from the trajectory of purity culture we canNOT be that loose or playful bc we HAVE to look thru lenses dictating that she's Real#or real-adjacent; ie. she reflects a real person in some creeping literal sense#so now if we LIKE her then she has to in some way be more palatable in the scope of rl acceptability. its so infuriating how this snowballs#let them be Fucked Up! fuck your narratives Up!! storytelling is PLAY not virtue signaling or a morality contest ESPECIALLY in fandoms#also YES they were meant to be portrayed as romantic originally and then they toned it down but the tones are still there. LET IT BE#IT'S! NOT! MEANT! TO! BE! NORMAL! OR ADHERENT TO A SCOPE OF REALISM. NONE OF THIS IS REAL HELLO H E L L O !!#SORRY i'm tired of pretending that the perspective towards storytelling getting a massive hit from purity culture isn't rly off-putting#or outright WORRYING. and fandoms are so weak compared to how it was before radfem language inserted itself into our spaces#SORRY to anyone who wasnt around enough before to know the difference. FFN & LJ used to fuck so hard and so did tmblr#it's harder to have as much fun i think as someone who was So around for that and seen in real time how it's changed now#fandom discourse
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm applying for a fellowship that required my faculty supervisor to write me a letter of support and yesterday he very shyly emailed to say he was nearly done but wanted to confirm my pronouns. i'm a cis woman who is just very very tall (before you ask: 6'2") and uses a nickname bc my given name is too Dutch for most folks (apparently) but i have just discovered that for the last two-ish months i've been in the program, everyone has been dancing around my pronouns and substituting my name more than is normal bc no one wanted to misgender me and were apparently just waiting for someone to either use pronouns in front of me or for me to use them myself and i think i have truly reached my final queer form
#this is kind of wild tho right bc like. usually no one used pronouns in your presence bc they are designed to be used to replace a name#so like yeah. it's true. you're not really around when people are using your pronouns. lol#and i never thought much about people stumbling over my name/how they reference me in seminar bc. well. i'm used to that#my given name usually makes people just blue screen with panic when they have to say it out loud so i didn't think anything of it#turns out they were about to use a pronoun and switched to saying avery last second. and i am tickled about it.#people also knew i was bisexual wayyyyy before i ever said the words out loud myself#like a tonne of people's reactions were that they thought i'd been out for a while#and talking to an old coworker about a weird conversation i had with my old boss asking me if queer employees felt okay being “out” at work#and i was like “pfft. he didn't even know he was talking to a closeted queer employee!”#and she looked at me like i was so so naive and said “i think he knew exactly what he was doing when he chose to ask you that”#and turns out he was probably just baiting me to out myself bc that's the kind of place that was and yeah queer ppl don't feel safe JAMES#but anyway.#i know i'm not cis in the way most people consider themselves cis#i use they/them when i'm being self-referential - mostly by accident - but i prefer everyone else use she/her#at least for now#but i don't feel like i'm not cis either? bc i am the gender i was born with - which is... none? maybe?#and i know that's not how everyone interacts with the cis/trans labels. and that's fine. you do you and i'll do me yk?#but i don't wanna be seen as agender/non-binary by using they/them or even she/they#if people sense gender tomfoolery themselves then i actually feel much better about that than if i identified with she/they tbh lol#actually i want that as an option when selecting gender now#sex? female. gender? tomfoolery.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
[taps mic] wings are to black mages as tails are to genomes, they're just axolotls about it
#final fantasy ix#ffix#ffix black mages#not just because of the waltzes either; there are a lot of things i feel back it up! i'm hoping to write up a post going into it properly#but like. there's a lot of subtext that they are Birbous in both the xenobiology sense and the symbolic one#and that wings are associated with Having Their True Power/Individual Form Unlocked(tm)#again there's the waltzes but also vivi has wing decorations on his trance form--multiple sets of them no less#and if you look at most black mages as having been mass-produced to a template and undercooked it makes sense#they're mostly not too impeded by the lack of wings and i think most of them wouldn't be too bothered if i knew#but among other things it might explain how clumsy they are; more specifically how much they're inclined to trip over things#they're missing a counterbalance/way to catch themselves/fly#a lot of birds that are closest to the body shape we see can get around by walking but it's clumsier and not as efficient#and if it's a mobility thing it might have made their legs shorter too#idk i may revise that a bit because i'm out of it right now and i don't think they're *entirely* birb#but they deadass hatch out of eggs and instinctively adopt and know how to care for them#they don't just take bobby corwen's egg home because his mom was dead; most of them barely know what death is in the first place#and think that the mom 'stopped' and have said they think stopped people will eventually get right back up#but they immediately know the egg needs to be taken care of in a time-sensitive manner#and what it is and how to do so; to my memory they don't express panic or uncertainty about Doing It Wrong#anyway lots of thoughts about them but vivi's last name is literally french for ornithologist so Like. i am just saying#ffixtag#FF tag#black mage tag
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Maybe I’m delusional or maybe my freshman and sophomore year history teacher is the only person who has ever understood me
#thinking about how I saw in the back corner of her classroom freshman year bc I was shy and she would go out of her way to stand in that#corner and talk to me and ask me about the books I was reading#how she would leave thoughtful notes on my work sometimes even complimenting me about it in person#and during class presentations I would freeze up and panic and choke on my words#and then she’d go it’s okay take you’re time you’re doing great#and then tell me afterwards that she liked my presentation#sophomore year I was confident enough in her class to sit in the very front row#and she would look at me while lecturing and make jokes specifically towards me#and before the ap exam I was standing around after school hours#and she asked me if I had a ride home and offered to wait with me#and she asked how I was feeling about the exam and I was feeling really nervous and not confident at all#and she fully talked me down and convinced me that I could do it and said she believed in me#on the last day I had her class she said quote:#it’s been wonderful watching you blossom the two years I’ve had you I think you’ve really found who you are and you’re owning it and im so#proud of you#and she hugged me#I miss her so much#school fucking sucks without her her class was the highlight of my day#literally just seeing her is the highlight of my day now#she waved to me in the hallway today and I haven’t stopped thinking about it#im gonna cry. I miss her so bad
14 notes
·
View notes