#the way their beef is like. not even on the same page necessarily

[ladyintree]

can someone remind me to talk about jackie/tai beef sometime

[twistedminutia]

A Million and One Minutia: Currency

Read the previous chapters here: Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3

Gray and Octavinelle discuss currency differences between worlds.

If you’ll recall, I mentioned that, while I don’t necessarily like him, I appreciate that Leona is an out-and-out ass, as opposed to unnamed parties who will act all friendly, then stab you in the back at the first opportunity. Remember that? Well, Azul would be that unnamed party.

Jade could also be included in this category, but his smile tends to be so threatening that it destroys the ‘acting friendly’ pretense. Floyd is, at least, the most honest of the bunch, but his mood changes so randomly that it’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking anyway. So, while I don’t like any of them, I avoid Azul the most.

Unfortunately, that’s just not always possible.

We don’t see each other much in classes (benefits of being a year below him) and I don’t visit the Mostro Lounge (benefits of having no money to spend) so ignoring him should be easy. He doesn’t seek me out either. Possibly because of the aforementioned ‘no money’ situation. Or maybe he’s still just embarrassed about the whole overblot incident. So why, might you ask, am I deliberately heading toward Octavinelle dorm with the express purpose of seeing them?

Why, the same reason I have to do so many things I don’t want to do at this school: Crowley told me to.

Getting summoned to his office is relatively common for me. Most of the time, I’m running errands for him. Checking up stock in the school store, sorting out an ungodly amount of paperwork, or bringing reports to the professors. It’s all usually stuff I feel like he should be able to use magic for. But I suppose it’s a bit like working instead of paying tuition, even though I’m not really learning anything here since I can’t do magic, so I try not to complain too much. Even though the last two major errands involved me facing down some inky housewardens. But he owns my house and my food money, so when I’m summoned, I go.

“Here.” As soon as I stepped into his office, Crowley thrust a three-ring binder full to bursting at me. It landed in my arms like an iron brick. “You’ll need this.”

“What is it?” I asked, trying to open it. Unfortunately, both my arms were occupied just trying to hold the thing, so I had to shimmy it awkwardly until the cover flopped open. The pages beneath are covered in numbers and dollar signs.

“Finance reports for the Mostro Lounge,” Crowley said. “As the location remains on campus, Ashengrotto is required to send the school a copy of his finance statements every quarter, and then a member of staff goes over them with him to ensure his records are accurate.”

“Okay,” I said. I could already see where this was going, but I was sort of holding onto hope. “Do you need me to take this to someone?”

Crowley narrowed his eyes at me. Or, I think he did. The little yellow lights where his eyes should be got narrower, anyway. “You are going to go to the Octavinelle dorm and go over the financial reports with Ashengrotto.”

“I’m not an accountant!” I protested. “Or even a staff member, technically!”

“Yeah, how come we’ve gotta do this stuff?” Grim complained from my feet, stomping one of his little paws. “It sounds boring!”

“Other members of the staff are… engaged,” Crowley said. I deduced from the pause that he’d been soundly rejected by everyone he’d asked. Probably because going over finances with Azul is like covering yourself in ground beef and walking into the lion’s den. Or maybe into a tank of piranhas. “And, of course, I have many things to take care of as headmage of this illustrious school.”

“Of course,” Grim and I muttered in the same breath. Yeah, no way Crowley was going to take care of it. So, the task had fallen all the way down the totem pole until it hit the people who straight-up couldn’t refuse. Us.

“I’m certain you’ll do fine! Just make sure Ashengrotto’s records match with the ones we’ve been given and ensure that any business expenses he signs off on are legitimate.” Crowley practically shoved Grim and me back out of his office. “Oh, and under no circumstances are you to sign anything that would allow an increase in budget or dorm renovations.” And then the doors banged shut in front of us.

With no further recourse, I turned, made sure Grim was following me, and set off toward the mirror portals to the Octavinelle dorm.

Stepping through the mirror was slightly disorienting the first time, but pretty normal every time after. It wasn’t all that different from stepping through a doorway, really, except for a moment where the air felt heavier than it should. I pop through the mirror to Octavinelle and pause to glance around. It’s a pretty place, and the underwater theming makes it seem serene. I want to stop and just soak it in. Or maybe I’m just trying to delay the inevitable. Who knows.

I can’t stay there forever, though. Eventually, Grim gets impatient and I grudgingly head to the Mostro Lounge. There are a few students milling around outside. Several of them give me curious looks as I pass by. Not for the first time, I wonder if it would have been more advantageous to just pretend I was a guy. Living as a girl on an all-guys campus is more attention than I want.

Jazz music plays lightly in the background as I step into the Mostro Lounge. It’s a nice place- easy to see why a lot of the student body spends time here. Grim catches sight of a mixed seafood platter on someone’s table and immediately starts drooling. I pick him up, struggling to hold both him and the binder. The last thing I need is him grabbing for food and leaving me with a bill for the damages.

“Hey! It’s shrimpy and baby seal!” The voice makes my hackles rise and a tall shadow falls over me. Floyd Leech saunters over to me, mouth turned up in a lazy grin. “Have you finally come by for a visit?”

“I’m here for Azul,” I say, fumbling with Grim as he tries to make an escape. “Crowley wanted us to go over finances-”

“Oh.” Floyd’s expression falls. “Boring.” Without another word, he turns and walks away into the restaurant. I can’t tell if he’s going to get Azul or if he’s just gotten bored and left. It really could be either one.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, there’s already another tall, teal-headed eel-boy heading my way. The only difference between him and his twin is the dark side-bang-thing is on the other side and his expression is marginally less unhinged. “Gray,” he says as soon as he’s within earshot. “What a surprise to see you here. It’s rare we have the pleasure of your company.”

I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not. “Crowley asked me to come here and go over some finance reports with Azul. If you could just show me where he is…”

Jade’s smile gets wider. My stomach drops. “Ah, I see. Well, Azul is working on something right now. But it wouldn’t be hospitable to leave a guest waiting.” He turns and gestures for me to follow him. “Perhaps you’d like something to eat or drink?”

“Yeah!” Grim yelps with enthusiasm. I let him scramble away to follow Jade. I can’t keep hold of him and the binder anymore, and if Jade’s leading us straight into a trap, at least Grim will fall into it first. It’s not a charitable thought, and it’s not like I want him to be hurt, but he’s got magic, so he’s at least got a better shot of getting out of it than I would.

Jade leads us to the back of the lounge and gestures to a small table. “Can I get you a menu?” he asks, that incalculable smile always on his face.

Grim opens his mouth, but I cut him off. “Water is fine.” I’m immediately subject to Grim’s infuriated glare, but I ignore it. While I wouldn’t put it past Azul and his lackeys to charge for water, it’s gotta be the cheapest thing on the menu, and pinching pennies is a necessity.

If that bothers Jade, he doesn’t show it. He just dips into a small bow and walks off toward the kitchen. Before he’s even out of earshot, Grim starts complaining.

“Why’d ya have to tell him we’re just having water? I wanna try this place’s grub!” He sniffs at the air and a bit of drool gathers at the corner of his mouth. “I was never allowed to when I worked here, but it all smelled so good!”

I give him an exasperated look. “Do you really think Azul’s going to be giving us anything for free?”

“Maybe,” Grim huffs, but he doesn’t look much like he believes it. “We could’ve just paid for it.”

“You got thaumarks?” I ask, completely unperturbed. Grim’s ears fold back.

“I would, but you won’t tell me where they are!” he huffs, fur fluffing along his spine. “It’s supposed to be our stipend, so I should have some say in it too!”

“You do,” I say. “I bought you ten cans of tuna last weekend. That was all your portion of the money.”

Grim stomps a paw. “Just lend me some! I’ll pay you back!”

“No,” I say. I feel bad being so stingy, but I have to save at every opportunity. I’m not sure what the living situation’s going to be like for summer, so I want to get a decent nest egg so we’ll at least have something to eat then. Thinking about money gives me a gnawing pit in my stomach.

Grim grumbles under his breath and shoots me dirty looks. I ignore him. Another server drops our water off before hurrying away to other customers. I page through the binder. It’s a lot of printed documents of various transactions, each page meticulously dated. The entire thing is overwhelming.

“Hello, Gray, Grim.” I look up. Azul has materialized next to our table, a smooth, customer service smile on his face. Jade and Floyd are behind him, both looking a little too eager. “I was told Crowley sent you to discuss finances?”

“Yes,” I say. “He said everyone else was busy.”

“A shame,” Azul says, pushing his glasses further up his nose. The way he says it makes me wonder if he had something to do with that. “I was thinking Crowley might have to cancel, but I’m of course pleased he was able to find a suitable replacement.”

Somehow, that feels like an insult. Grim fluffs up at my side, but says nothing. He won’t admit it, but I think ever since his forced work stint, he’s been wary of Azul. Not like I’m not, though. “Yes,” I say, keeping my tone as neutral as possible. “We should get started.” I don’t like to give much away when I’m with Azul. Anything I say can and will be used against me.

Azul slides into the table next to us and Jade and Floyd vanish. I’m not stupid enough to think they’re gone, though- they’re somewhere close by, waiting for their boss’ word to swoop in.

I flip to a page marked with a green sticker and start at the highlighted line. “This says that total income for the week of…” I squint at the date. “Of… 4/45/57 was…”

Azul is clearly practiced at this sort of thing. He rattles off dates and figures and pulls documents seemingly out of nowhere to explain the occasional discrepancies. There are a couple of times where it seems suspicious, but I’m not getting paid enough (or paid at all) so I simply make a note of it for Crowley. If he wants the money, he can hunt Azul down for it himself.

While Azul is practiced at this, I am not. I can’t stop stumbling over the dates, and I especially can’t stop stumbling over the prices. Grim’s no help- the only dates he knows are yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and the only money information he has on hand is the price for a can of tuna at Sam’s.  Azul doesn’t show too much in the way of irritation, but when I have to keep pausing to correct my math and figure out exactly when certain dates are, he lets out a little huff.

I’m supposed to be showing no emotion and not giving him anything to work with, but I can’t help my annoyance. “Something wrong?”

He shrugs. “I’m simply wondering how it’s possible for someone to miscalculate the amount of sorcents in a thaumark three times in a row.” There’s a stifled laugh from somewhere behind me, but I can’t tell if it’s Floyd or Jade, and neither of them are there when I turn to look.

“I’m doing my best,” I mumble. Admittedly, these are probably very simple mistakes to be making. It’s just that there are only fifty sorcents per thaumark, instead of one hundred cents per dollar, and I keep screwing up the addition by not taking that into account. I feel like an idiot. An embarrassed idiot. “It’s not a monetary system I’m used to, and this is the first time I’ve ever seriously looked at finances here.”

Azul clucks his tongue. “You only have yourself to blame for that. I memorized the conversion rates for all the land kingdoms before I even left Atlantica.” I’m sure he did. It sounds exactly like him.

“Well, sorry. They don’t give you a study guide before they shove you into an alternate universe.” My voice doesn’t come out with as much sarcastic bite as I want it to. I’ve never been much of a fighter at the best of times, and I’m tired. Why is pretty much everyone at this school a huge dick?

Azul sits back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest. “If you require assistance learning about the monetary system we use here, I’m certain I could find the time to help you.”

I frown. “In exchange for?”

A little smile, one that is most definitely unfriendly, turns up the corners of his mouth. “I’m certain we can work something out.”

Yeah, right. There is no way in hell I’m writing him a blank check. “I’ll figure it out on my own, thanks.” Grim nods firmly and sticks out his tongue at Azul for good measure.

A muscle jumps in Azul’s jaw. “I assure you, I wouldn’t ask for anything too much. Why, that would go against the spirit of benevolence, which is the very cornerstone of this dorm!” He does some kind of grand gesture with his hand. I think Floyd snickers somewhere in the background.

Grim mutters something about ‘spirit of benevolence my paw.’ I shush him.

Azul continues. “I’m sure I could find some conditions you would agree to. Perhaps we could exchange information?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “What kind of information?”

Azul smiles like a fisherman that’s just hooked a trout. “If you’re from a whole other world, I’m sure there’s plenty of information that you could give. Perhaps you would be open to discussing the currency of your own world?”

It’s definitely not what I thought he would ask about, and that only makes me more suspicious. “Why do you want to know that?”             “I have it on good authority that our headmage is looking for a way to get you back to your world,” Azul says. “Being knowledgeable in that world’s money and business system already would be a great boon to anyone looking to possibly expand their business, wouldn’t it? And, given that your world has no magic, it would certainly be benevolent to reach out and create opportunities for them to utilize the powers of magic, don’t you agree?”

Translation from Azul-speak: If Crowley manages to make some kind of stable portal between our worlds, he wants to know the money system so he can be the first to set up business there. It’s not actually a bad idea, though I think that he’s betting on an outside chance. At this point, I’m not even convinced Crowley will be able to get me home at all, much less set up a way for people to go back and forth. Also, I don’t necessarily want to inflict Azul on a defenseless world. But all things considered, I can’t say it’s likely things will work out the way he expects, so…

“Fine. I’ll tell you about it.” Azul breaks into a massive grin. “But there’s a lot of different currencies, and I can only tell you about the one I know about.”

Azul narrows his eyes for a moment. “How widespread is the currency you know of?”

“Pretty widespread, I think? The country I’m from is a pretty big economic power, so…”

Azul brightens immediately. “Very well, then.” He settles in with a notebook and looks at me expectantly. “Go ahead.”

If I had a poorer opinion of Azul, I definitely wouldn’t be giving away information before he’s actually handed over his part of the bargain. But, for all my griping about him, he’s at least fair. I’ve never heard from a single person that he’s welched on a deal he’s made- he might weasel his way into giving you as little as he can manage, and he’ll do everything in his power to back you into an unbalanced contract, but once the terms are set, he’ll give you exactly what you asked for. Don’t get me wrong, he’s got the moral backbone of a squid, but he doesn’t break his word, and that’s at least something.

We take a break in the finances so I can give Azul a basic rundown of American money, the different bills and coins there are, and even the material it’s made out of when he asks after it. He asks a lot of questions that are harder to answer, like exactly how much certain objects cost. I think he’s trying to figure out what the exchange rate from thaumarks to dollars is, but I’m pretty unhelpful in remembering the specifics of how things are priced. It’s a bit of back and forth until I tell him that a triple A video game is about sixty dollars, which he says he can ‘work with.’ Once that impromptu lesson is over and Azul has exhausted his well of questions, we switch over to me.

“It’s all quite simple, really,” Azul says. “Much like your world, we have bills in intervals of five- so a one-thaumark bill, a five-thaumark bill, and ten-thaumark bill, and so on. Coins only come in twenty-five, ten, or five sorcent pieces.”

“I suppose that makes the math easier,” I say. “What if you have something that costs, like, six thaumarks and forty-nine sorcents?”

Azul gives me one of his ‘are you stupid’ looks. “No one would price something that way. Potentially it could work with a digital transaction, since they’re not limited by the coin amounts, but pricing something that way would certainly cause complications. Not to mention it would make the books harder to balance. Why would anyone want to price something at such an awkward number, anyway? It requires the customer to carry around a specific number of one-magus pieces, which would be otherwise generally useless, or the register would need to stock the one-magic pieces for change, which would be generally inefficient.”

I shrug. “I dunno, people have been doing it for a long time. I think it’s supposed to be a business psychology trick. People see the six at the beginning of the price and their brain only processes that part, so they think it’s closer to six dollars when it’s actually closer to seven, so they’re more willing to spend-” Azul’s grin becomes sharklike and I realize at that exact moment what a bad decision I’ve made. All the prices at the Mostro Lounge are neatly rounded. I have a sneaking suspicion that the next time I get a look at the menu, they will not be.

“Now that is interesting,” Azul purrs. “Perhaps you should come by more often. You’ve clearly got some fascinating ideas about business.”

I press my lips together and do not answer. I will not give Azul more ideas. I will not give Azul more ideas. I will not-

Azul waves his hand toward someone and Jade virtually materializes out of thin air next to him. “I think we should fetch our guests some food, don’t you?” he asked. “Certainly, it would only be right to feed them before we continue this very interesting discussion.”

“Oh, I think we’re going to need to be going soon,” I say, making to stand out of my seat. Unfortunately, Grim has already heard the word ‘food’ and is a lost cause.

“What? No way I’m leaving without some grub!” He glares at me, puffing a little bit of fire out of his mouth.

Azul smiles and I realized he must have anticipated that exact reaction from Grim. Slimy octopus. “Then please, order anything you’d like.” He turns his gaze to me, all smug and satisfied. “I’m certain that, while you’re waiting, Gray would be happy to fill me in on any other insights she has. As… thanks for the generosity.”

He smiles at me, still sharklike and self-satisfied, and I decide to never take on any task from Crowley ever again.

Read the next chapter here.

[kamenotaku]

In 2012, Cm Punk attracted me to pro wrestling for the first time since I was a child. I came in right around the Punk/Daniel Bryan feud over AJ Lee. I stuck with it for a few years, largely culminating with Wrestlemania 30 and Daniel Bryan’s incredible double win. After that, my interest petered out, but I kept an eye on the scene via Botchamania.

In 2021 I was brought back into wrestling via my now fiancé expressing interest in the whole scene. I had heard of AEW as it spun up, but I paid little attention until August of that year. Rumors abound of CM Punk returning to wrestling as AEW visited Chicago just ahead of All Out. Then it happened, everybody kinda knew it would, but it was still intense, one of the loudest pops in the history of pro wrestling. Seeing Phil Brooks walk out to an arena full of folks cheering his name, it felt like a person returning home. It really grabbed me, and when my partner asked what’s this pro wrestling thing about, I knew AEW was gonna be the shows we followed.

Since then I watch AEW programming three times a week, keeping an eye on certain WWE talent and storyline here and there. I’ve gained a dozen new favorite wrestlers, with folks like Orange Cassidy, Hangman Adam Page, and Jon Moxley topping that list. The 2022 All Out incident, “Brawl Out,” soured my opinion of Punk for a while. I still liked the guy, but just the way things went down in that press conference and beyond knocked him down my roster a few rungs. Mox put the company on his back for a few months, proving how indispensable he is. (Like for real, if Jon Moxley isn’t getting a seven figure salary from good old Tony Khan, what the fuck are we doing?)

Eventually, Punk is back, with his own show even. A soft roster split occurs as AEW Collision gets off the ground as a way to both separate Punk from the people he got into a physical altercation with months prior and to feature more of the top talent in AEW. Things seem to be going well, Punk introduces his so-called “Real” World Championship by pulling it out of bag and spray painting a large straight-edge X across the center. Ok, now there’s two World Champs in AEW, makes some sense if there’s a brand/roster split, gotta have two top titles like the other guys right?

Punk rides the line between babyface and heel every episode of Collision, largely dependent on the crowd reaction it seems. The show feels different, not necessarily in a bad way, slightly different pacing, but still good, if just a little off? He keeps a few people known to affiliate with The Elite, the group he had an actual fist fight with, out of his shows, including the company’s head of talent relations. Not a good sign. He makes an after-show shot at Hangman Page, again someone he’d had real beef with just 6 months prior. It felt weird and half-hearted, like why even comment? He apologizes reportedly. An argument with Jungle Boy Jack Perry about use of real glass in spot happens and then leaked out weeks later. Weirder and weirder.

2023, at the biggest pro wrestling show ever, All In Wembley, CM Punk gets into a physical fight with Jack Perry just before Punk is to have the biggest match of his career against longtime rival Samoa Joe. Things are BAD. Joe and Punk do their match, it’s pretty damn good. An investigation into the fight happens. Just under a week later, on September 2, CM Punk is released from AEW, right before All Out 2023. Almost a year to the day from when Punk got into a fight with the executive vice presidents of AEW, he gets into another physical fight over a comment from Jack Perry about real glass. Tony Khan does the right thing and lets Phil Brooks go on his way. And you know what? I think I’ve typed all of this up, at like 2am, to do the same. As much as I like CM Punk from a decade ago now, I’ve moved on. He’s still an incredible talent, and certainly one of the better folks in the wrestling business from politics side of things, but his temper, his inability to just let little things go has got me looking elsewhere.

So goodbye Phil Brooks. Goodbye CM Punk. I hope you just take some time off. Spend it with your wife and dog. Chill in Chicago and maybe just work on comics or movies and shows once the strikes are over. I really do wish you the best, and I guess I want to thank you for reigniting my interest in wrestling. It’s something that my soon-to-be wife and I have bonded over, so thank you and goodbye.

[bronanlynch]

ship ask meme: IBO ship or five of your choice

hi sorry I know you literally asked this long enough ago that we've started and finished another whole entire gundam show since then but

mika/orga

What made you ship it? I mean I was always compelled by their dynamic from the beginning bc mika is shooting people without hesitation for orga right away but. the moment when I realized how much I shipped it was when mika snaps orga out of his grief from biscuit's death by. picking him up by the collar with one hand and saying that orga needs to pull himself together and tell mika who else to kill. that's romance, to me,

What are your favorite things about the ship? the extremely intense level of mutual trust and devotion and also shared ideology is incredibly compelling to me, is the thing. a gay communist ship for gay communists. constantly thinking abt the bit where mcgillis tries to manipulate mika by implying that he's just going along with what orga is doing instead of doing what he actually wants and mika just completely shuts him down because they Are actually on the same page and they Do want the same things even if mika doesn't usually put his ideology into words the same way. also extremely tasty that for most of the show they're doing an extended gift of the magi thing where mika is turning himself into a weapon for the sake of the new world that orga is trying to build, and orga is trying to build a new world so that mika doesn't have to keep turning himself into a weapon

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? ok. listen. I know that the show did not handle mika's disability particularly well but listen. as a fandom we can and should do better. disabled people can and do have sex, I promise you mika can fuck without being connected to the robot

kudelia/atra

What made you ship it? well you see. sometimes I see a girl blushing and complimenting another girl and I simply think they should kiss (also I went in knowing that they were endgame so. I was primed to read into their interactions)

What are your favorite things about the ship? I like how often they're both like "so we're both in love with mika and also each other" and how they make it clear that they are all in love with each other and want to support and help each other. also I love the stuff (especially in season 1) that was like. kudelia being able to put words to things that she didn't necessarily have firsthand experience with but atra does like. theory gf x praxis gf. kudelia understands the relationship between imperialism and capitalism and atra understands that the first step to getting anything done is to feed people when they are hungry. also their ending is that one poem abt like. the long distance relationship between a city lesbian and a country lesbian (want by joan larkin) and I love that for them. I wish season 2/the fanfiction on ao3 had more abt them leading a revolution together bc I do think both of their perspectives are so important and I want to see them talking abt rhetorical strategies and supply lines while also kissing and making each other soup

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? I mean it's femslash I'm sure there's plenty of bad takes out there for me to disagree with. like I have beef with whoever edited the wiki so that atra is listed as kudelia's wife in the family section but not as a love interest. every time either of them express their love for mika they also reaffirm that they love each other in explicitly the same way, it's really not ambiguous

gaelio/mcgillis

What made you ship it? well the vibes were there from the start, even when I was just like "who are these evil bureaucrats" so I always thought they were hooking up. and then we got to the bit where gaelio gets choked out by mika and mcgillis like. strokes his back comfortingly?? and I was like. ah. I see. they are Dating.

What are your favorite things about the ship? I love betrayal <3 I love it when a guy's grand plan involves killing the one person he cares abt and both of them are super normal abt it <3 also I love that gaelio isn't dead and wants revenge and also that ein is involved bc I love mess <3 (edit: I wrote before we finished the show and looking back on this. oof. rip to past me for trying to maintain some sense of detachment and just having fun at the tragic mess. current me is genuinely sad like. I do love the betrayal and that's def in the top 5 things I like abt this ship but the top spot might have to go to that final confrontation they have and specifically the bit where gaelio won't let mcgillis say that he loves him because otherwise gaelio will forgive him because he is still So in love with him and would have done anything for him if mcgillis wasn't um. specifically designed to be a foil for characters whose whole thing is solidarity and reaching out to others, so the point of his character is that he was marginalized and abused in ways that specifically isolated him so that he can't bring himself to trust anyone else and that's his downfall. communism could have saved him and also his relationship with gaelio (somehow. despite gaelio being fundamentally a spoiled rich kid. it's fine they would've worked it out. anyway)

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? who could say what the unpopular opinions are. maybe that gaelio is also definitely dating ein but then again this is a show with canon polyamory so maybe the fandom is also more chill abt that

and for uh. equality I guess. one I don't ship. merribit/orga

Why don’t you ship it? not compelled by the dynamic where most of a woman's screentime is her trying to tell a man that he's doing everything wrong and needs to be more careful. they both deserve better than that and I'm glad the show stopped hinting at the possibility of them getting together

What would have made you like it? see above. what if orga could ever give a speech to try to raise morale so that everyone didn't die without merribit interrupting to tell him how fucked up it is that these kids are fighting. I assure you he knows that it's fucked up, it's his life, he's also a child soldier, does he literally ever look like he's happy abt going into battle. what if actually their relationship were abt her teaching him the value of spreadsheets. that would be romantic to me

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? if I were still a straight girl I would have been obsessed with them in a very projecting way. I would be conceptually So into guy character I love x admin woman

extra bonus now that we're so extremely tieriapilled: lockon/tieria

What made you ship it? the bit where lockon puts his hand on tieria's shoulder and tieria Immediately calms down and smiles at him softly and everyone else on the bridge is like. what the fuck happened while you two were down on earth together. and then every single other time they interact after that

What are your favorite things about the ship? lockon constantly reaffirming tieria's personhood. the "you let that man too deep into your heart" line. the incredible potential of the mirrored character arcs they could've had if lockon hadn't fucking died, because god forbid a gundam show from the 2000s allow a disabled main character to actually live their life as a disabled person, where tieria is learning how to be a person and exploring what she wants her gender to be and coming to terms with no longer being able to do the thing that made her special/effective/valuable and also feeling guilty bc she thinks she cost lockon his eye and that saving her wasn't worth it, and lockon is figuring out how to live his life now that he's gotten his revenge and also coming to terms with no longer being able to do the thing that made him special/effective/valuable, and both of them learning that their worth isn't just in being a good gundam pilot in the specific way that they had previous been good gundam pilots

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? you already know my ten thousand word essay on the various ways tieria is (mis)treated and (mis)characterized but. y'know. fandom stop being shitty abt transfem-coded characters challenge

[nixthelapin]

I’m sorry, was the point of that ask just to have beef with me over my post? Why did you bother going to my page to make an ask instead of just commenting on the actual post then? Maybe you are just genuinely asking to have a conversation, but if you did this to make some kind of “ha! Gotcha!” then that’s extremely childish of you. The way you’re asking sounds really evasive. But fine, I’ll answer your question.

I think “accept” and “believe” aren’t necessarily the same things, and believing an interpretation wasn’t what I had in mind when I answered your ask. I meant “accept” in the sense of the general fandom and what they believe about a character. I can accept an interpretation as a valid one because it’s how someone sees that character based on what canon gives, and that’s their experience, and there’s no point in getting argumentative over small things like that that have little impact on the story or fandom experience. But I have my own experience because I’m an individual who has my own interpretations.

Regarding Emilie specifically, her restricting Adrien is my interpretation of what canon has given us. But I should also note that I didn’t really go into a lot of detail about what I believe her motives were or how she implemented it, and that’s not something I’ll do in this post either because it’s irrelevant to this question. Maybe I’ll expand on another post later, but long posts take time and I don’t know if I’ll bother. If that interpretation specifically is what bugs you, then just make a comment or rb response on that post. (It should also be noted that I’m hardly the only person in the fandom who believes that about Emilie, so if you have beef with me specifically, I suggest expanding your horizons).

But while that’s what I believe about Emilie, I know others don’t agree. And that’s fine! The show does talk about her as a good mom who just wanted Adrien to be happy, so if people take that as face value, then there’s nothing wrong with it! I’m just the kind of person who likes to dig deeper and see what could be between the lines. I’m not saying my interpretation is the correct one, because canon has yet to definitively say that it is, which is why mine is still just an interpretation. People are allowed to disagree with what I believe about her, and I’m allowed to disagree with others. But I’ll accept many of them (I definitely can’t claim all) as long as they have something in canon to back it up. But even if it doesn’t, sometimes it’s just not worth arguing about because it’s a waste of time to go picking fights over something that doesn’t really matter much in the end. So in that sense, I’ll accept that they have that interpretation and move on with my life.

I do really hope that this wasn’t just you trying to start an argument, maybe you’re just asking awkwardly and I’m taking it the wrong way. But if you are just trying to pick a fight, please look elsewhere. I’m happy to have a discussion or answer some questions, but I have no intention of getting in a petty fight on the internet. I’ve indulged in too many of those as a teen, and they all lead no where and are only exhausting.

Tell me, how many different interpretations of Emilie are you willing to accept?

Err… I’m not really sure if you’re referencing that post I made about Emilie recently or if you’re just asking in general. I’m not really sure why you’re asking me specifically 😅

But I guess in general, I don’t really have a number? Interpretations can’t really have that kind of limit. I think the only interpretations about characters at all that I would be against would just be if they directly contradict what’s shown in canon, but unless it’s egregious I don’t really see a point in getting upset about them. Discussion about disagreements can be fun (meaning not arguing lol)

But regarding Emilie Agreste specifically, I can probably accept a lot more than most of the important characters in Miraculous because the show doesn’t give us a lot to go off of. She’s more of a prop than a character, literally a fridged woman. We do get more hints in s5 with Natalie’s character arc than the whole Felix backstory thing, but nothing much with Emilie herself. Actually, the only time we see her alive and doing something is when Monarch (in s5e1) goes back in time to watch their picnic in the backyard before they use the Peacock (to make Adrien), and in the video Natalie watched. And those were both pretty short. So the lack of actual content with her beyond in pictures of as a corpse for Gabe to monologue to makes it easier to have a wider variety of interpretations.

Not sure if that was what you wanted from me with that question, but it’s fun to talk about, so thanks!

[iheartbookbran]

What do you think of the moment where Bran thinks of Arya as his little sister? She's not, he's her younger brother. I also wonder why GRRM wrote Bran seeing Lyanna and thinking she's Arya. He only noticed she wasn't because he noticed his hair had never been as long as Benjen and that Lyanna could beat him when Arya couldn't. It's interesting how downplayed their bond is in fandom when Bran wanted to be a knight and Arya was the one he played swords with and Arya then later learns waterdancing.

Hello Anon! First of all I know it’s been like, a while since you send me this ask. I’m sorry it took me so long to answer. But better late than never, I hope…

Ok so there’s a few separate parts of this ask, so I’ll try to answer each one separately.

What do you think of the moment where Bran thinks of Arya as his little sister?—Eh, honestly? I think this is just a mistake from GRRM and his editors. With a thousand and so pages long book, they’re bound to happen. I personally never thought there was more to that line than an editorial mistake, I could be wrong though. If I could think of an ‘in universe’ explanation, it would be that Bran tries to paint himself as older and more mature than he actually is, and thinks of Arya as younger than him, which imo, is kind of in-character for him.

I also wonder why GRRM wrote Bran seeing Lyanna and thinking she's Arya.—Well I think this is GRRM’s way of showing us that Lyanna and Arya share a similar appearance and personality. As if everybody who knows Arya and also happened to know Lyanna on a personal level inevitably making the comparison between the two wasn’t enough to hammer the parallels home. I know this is a controversial and touchy subject in the fandom (tho tbh what isn’t), but the way I see it, these shared similarities are important not necessarily because Lyanna is the Special Girl and being like her makes you Cool (though if you enjoy Lyanna as a character and also Arya, that’s obviously a plus), but because this ties directly to Jon’s own story, him growing up wondering what his mother was like, what she looked like, whether she would have loved him or not, all the while spending his childhood with a girl so similar to his mother, who loved him and accepted him so wholeheartedly despite his social status, and who Jon loved and cared for in return and he carries that bond they share and is unable to truly let it go even if it goes directly against his vows to the NW, which perfectly connects to the ongoing theme of continuing love despite distance and hardship that I would argue is a pillar for the series as a whole. In this essay I will—

It's interesting how downplayed [Bran and Arya’s] bond is—I mean if you ask me, every single relationship that involves Bran is downplayed or outright ignored because the character himself is downplayed and ignored, because well… we all know why. You could literally replace Arya’s name here with Jon, Robb, Sansa, his parents or anyone of his family for that matter. Speaking of the Stark family, I think it’s significant how Bran is like, the only Stark who doesn’t have any beef or unresolved conflict with a family member? Not counting Rickon, obviously. But even Sansa and Arya who don’t share any scenes with him save for flashbacks or memories still show a great deal of fondness for Bran, they miss him constantly and are devastated at the idea of his death. One of my all time favorite Stark family moments is the one between him and Robb when Robb brings him to his room. Jon groups him constantly alongside Robb and Arya and asks for his forgiveness for not being able to betray his vows. And of course, we can’t forget what Bran means to his parents, especially Catelyn. In many ways Bran feels to me like the glue that holds these characters together, and he represents the very heart of the family in general, like Winterfell, y’know? Tbh I love how much Bran’s family unanimously love and appreciate him. I wish the fandom was the same but…

[themadlostgirl]

When It’s Cold (2)

*Horny teens are horny. Mild smut mentions ahead.*

~~~

I laid in bed watching the lightning flash outside my windows as thunder shook the room and rain poured down. As a child a storm like this would have had me hiding under my covers. Tonight though I watched the storm, every inch of my body on alert with every crack of lightning and thunder. The doors to my room burst open with a roll of thunder. A shadowed figured stood in the hallway. My heart hammered fast as I tried to see through the darkness at my intruder. A flash of lightning illuminated the once dark room and I recognized the jagged line down my visitor’s face.

“Felix?” I sat up straighter. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to make sure you weren’t scared.” He prowled closer, a wicked grin on his face as he got to the foot of my bed. “You always were so scared of storms.”

“I was…” I murmured. He was dressed only in a pair of pants. That same chiseled torso I had gawked at earlier on full display.

He crawled onto the bed until he was hovering over me. “Do you want me to stay?” His voice purred in my ear, “I can keep you warm if it gets cold.”

“Yes please,” I let the robe around me fall from my shoulders leaving me exposed. “Keep me warm, Felix.”

“Gladly.” He swooped down upon me.

~~~

I woke with a start. My body was wound up tight and I was tangled in the blankets on my bed. I gazed around me confused before the previous day’s events caught up to me. It felt like a dream that Felix and I had found this mansion last night.

Felix…

The real dream came back to me with stark detail. What had that been all about? I’ve never had a dream like that before. I never have dreams in the first place. Even when I do they’re nothing like that and most certainly do not feature Felix. Yet he had been the epicenter.

Half naked with a devilish grin looking down at my own nude body. I had wanted him to--to--

I buried my face in my pillow. This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t gone to his room last night and saw him coming out of the bathroom. Why did I have to see that? Now I was having borderline erotic dreams about him. Oh screw borderline! I knew exactly what I had been hoping to happen and the aching between my legs only solidified it.

It’s not like I never found Felix ugly or anything. He was pleasant to look at. I dare say at times he was handsome but I never dwelled on it. Maybe a stray intrusive thought or two but they never went so far as my dream had. I couldn’t stop picturing it. Felix and I in bed, his large hands on my body, his lips caressing my skin…

I pressed my legs together as the image took root in my head. Maybe I deserve to indulge a little. For right now there is nothing to worry about. Besides, it’s not like Felix will ever know. My hand dipped between my legs as I let myself fall back into the dream. My body was extra sensitive since I hadn’t been able to indulge in this particular past time since Neverland. Not that I got to do it a whole lot there either. I swear there is absolutely no privacy on that island.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

And none here either it seems.

With a small whine I swung out of bed and pulled my robe in tight. I opened the door and Felix was waiting on the other side already dressed. Could it be considered poetic irony that the boy I had just a moment ago been masturbating to interrupted said masturbation?

“Did you just wake up?” Felix looked me up and down.

“Kinda. I figured I was allowed to sleep in. What do you want?” I stepped back and started collecting my clothes from the floor. 

“Get dressed. I discovered something you’re gonna wanna see.”

“Can’t you just tell me?”

“No. Now hurry up.” He closed the door and left.

With a sigh a pulled my clothes back on and followed Felix up a set of stairs to a hallway that led to a dead end. “This is what you wanted to show me? A wall with a picture on it?”

“Watch this,” He pulled the light fixture next to the painting and suddenly the wall came loose and rotated opening up a passageway into a whole new room.

“This place has secret rooms now. Very cool.” I stepped inside. “A library?” I looked at the books but there were no names on the spines. I pulled one off and flipped through it but all the pages were blank. “I will say I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Oh but it gets better.” Felix went over to the desk at the end of the room and pulled open the drawer. There was a button inside. He pressed it and a section of the floor popped up. I knelt down and opened the hatch and my eyes went wide. It was a safe!

I turned the latch and nearly cried at what I saw. Money. Just stacks and stacks of money! One less thing to worry about. We wouldn’t need to scrape by or get jobs. This safe could keep us comfortable for months! Years even!

“How did you find this?” I asked Felix.

“I like puzzles and I like to snoop.” He grinned pulling out a stack of hundreds. The band around it said ten thousand. Ten thousand dollars and there were easily a hundred or more just like it from what I could tell from the naked eye. We have someplace warm to sleep and we have money for food.

I started sniffling and I could sense Felix watching me befuddled. “Sorry, I just--” I took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my eyes, “We’re going to survive the winter. We don’t have to be hungry or cold again.”

“I know,” Felix pulled a few hundreds from the stack and dropped the rest back in the safe. “Now how about we go do that grocery shopping you were so insistent on?”

“Yes!” I hopped to my feet. We put everything back in place and left the room. I found a pad of paper and started making a list of everything we would need. Unlike Felix who had spent so much time on Neverland that he couldn’t remember who he had been before being a Lost Boy , I did remember who I was. I remembered the responsibilities I had before Neverland. What was needed when I was made to go to market. The grocery store wasn’t like the open air markets I was used to but it was still the same general concept.

Felix and I got weird looks as we entered the store and I took one of the trollies. My first stop was to grab some toiletries. Toilet paper, shampoo, body wash, loofah, deodorant, toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, and even a set of razors in case Felix wanted to shave. Next we grabbed laundry detergent, dish soap, paper towels, spray cleaner, trash bags, aluminum, and hangers. We would need to go to a different store for clothes. Lastly, food. Now, being the designated responsible person out of the two of us I know we couldn’t just indulge in the sweets and other delicious yet not necessarily healthy food for us.

I sped up and down the aisles with Felix trailing after me as I dumped stuff into the trolley. Chicken, beef, bacon, vegetables, fruits, a ten pound bag of potatoes, bread, milk, two dozen eggs, pasta, rice, butter, flour, sugar, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, vanilla, yeast (it’s been forever since I baked anything but I figured I could give it a try), orange juice, apple juice, cheese, canola oil, olive oil, and spices. Then came on the things I knew less about, peanut butter, chocolate chips, gummy candies, dressings, chips, ice cream, instant brownie mix, pizza rolls (they sounded good), cans of soup, yogurt, pancake/waffle mix, whipped cream, cereal, granola bars, pretzels, and tea bags.

Our trolley was overflowing with items as we wheeled our way over to the register. The man bagging our items looked at us strangely as we started unloading our groceries onto the counter. Several minutes and a trolley full of groceries later we were given our grand total. I was scared that we wouldn’t have enough but thankfully we did. We left the store and looked at our haul.

“Hey, Felix,” I paused as we were halfway through the parking lot, “How are we gonna get all this back to the mansion?”

“We steal the cart.” He said it like it was obvious. “Who is gonna stop us?”

“True.” We started out trip back to the mansion and pushed the trolley into the house. We spent the next several minute cramming things into cabinets and the icebox. I pushed the trolley back outside and went to put my toiletries away while Felix took the laundry items down to the basement. I would also need to learn how to use the electronic washers they had here if I wanted clean clothes.

Speaking of clean clothes, “Felix!” I shouted down the steps, “We’re not done yet today. We need to go clothes shopping.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t bring any extra sets of clothes with me when we left Neverland and I’m sick of wearing these dirty rags. Now get a move on!”

Felix came upstairs with a scowl. “Don’t pout. Even if we kept these clothes clean they stand out too much. I think it’s part of the reason everyone glares at us. We’ll arise less suspicion if we blend in. Especially since our mission is to find a way out of here and back to Neverland.”

“Fine.” Felix grumbled. He counted the remaining money in his pocket. “Let me grab a few more bills from the library just to be safe.”

My stomach grumbled and I decided to grab a granola bar to settle my stomach while I waited for Felix. This house was so strange. They didn’t have any dish soap but they had pots and pans. No shampoo but they had combs. Not a lick of food but a cabinet dedicated to what looked like a very fragile table set.

Felix came back a few hundred dollars richer and we made our way back into town for the second time that day. The clothes store was emptier than the grocery store which put me more at ease. Felix and I went our separate ways as I perused around the racks and racks of clothing. I grabbed a few shirts, pajamas, sweatshirts, sweat pants, underwear, socks, gloves, a scarf, hat, a thick jacket, a new pair of boots, and a large messenger bag. When I went to try on some pants though I was thoroughly disappointed. They fit fine but the pockets on them were tiny! I could barely get my hand in them. Was this what pants were like here? Why?!

I went over to the men’s section and found Felix also trying on some new clothes. It was a simple black t-shirt and a pair of dark denim jeans but it looked really good on him. He almost looked less foreboding. Maybe that was just due to the fact that he didn’t have his cloak hood up like usual.

“You look mad,” Felix chuckled upon seeing me stomp up to him.

“I am! Look at this.” I squeezed a few of my fingers into my jeans pocket. “These pants have absolutely no room! Are yours like this as well?”

“Mine?” he stuck his entire hand in his pocket up to the middle of his forearm. “Nope.”

“What the hell?” I stuck my hand in his other pocket. These were so much roomier than mine! “Why are these better than the ones in my section?”

“I don’t know,” Felix pulled my hand out of his pocket, his face was red with anger again and he wouldn’t look me in the eye, “You can stop invading my personal space though.”

“Oops, sorry.” I snatched my hand back to my chest. What had I been thinking? I essentially stuck my hand down his pants and for what? Because I was jealous of the size of his pockets? I grabbed a few pants from his section that looked to be my size and raced back to the dressing rooms in my section. These fit just as well as the ones I was wearing now but the pockets were much roomier so I chucked the others away and got the men’s pants.

Felix met me at the registers when he was done browsing. He still wasn’t looking at me. I think I made things between us really uncomfortable. We paid for the clothes but had no trolley this time so had to carry everything in large bags back to the mansion. After we got back Felix disappeared into his room. I changed into a pair of the comfy new clothes I bought and went downstairs to make myself something to eat.

I heated a can of soup up and sat down to eat. I wasn’t in the mood to be so adventurous as to make a full blown meal. Now that we had all the essentials Felix and I could start our search for a way back to Neverland in earnest.

I didn’t see Felix for the rest of the night. Figures he wouldn’t want to be around me after we spent all day together. I drew myself another hot bath and this time was able to actually wash myself with the soap and shampoo we had bought. I felt truly clean for the first time in a long time as I slid on the pajamas I bought and crawled back into bed.

Rain pattered outside and I was reminded of my dream from this morning. A part of me dreading and hoping that I would have another just like it.

~~~

Fucking hell! You were killing him! You had to be trying to kill him! That’s what Felix concluded as he locked himself in the master bedroom of the mansion.

Ever since Felix had let himself be talked into going to Storybrooke with you he had been forced by your side. You were the only Lost One in Storybrooke still loyal to Pan when all the others had run off to find families for themselves. He told himself he was tagging along instead of staying in Neverland to enact revenge on those that murdered Pan but that was only half of the story.

He should have never followed you though. Revenge aside. It hadn’t worked out anyway. Even after he learned that Pan was still alive, albeit in someone else’s body, it wasn’t enough. Pan died anyway before he got to enact the curse that would have turned this worthless town into a new Neverland. Now everyone was happy and safe and you and Felix were both very much stranded.

Finding this mansion had been a sweet turn of luck. He knew you were right when you mentioned needing a better place to stay over winter. Felix didn’t like the cold either but he could tolerate it better than you. Every night since you two got here you would shiver the night away at your camp. The night before it had been so cold that even Felix was cursing the wind. While he shivered though he glanced across the fire pit at you. You were huddled in so tight to yourself. Teeth chattering and body convulsing.

He was glad that you didn’t make any mention of him giving you his cloak as an extra form of warmth that night. He didn’t want to try explaining why he had done it. Terrible complicated feelings that he refused to acknowledge. He pushed them down hard, stomped them into dust so they could never rear their ugly head again.

Then he had gotten out of the bath. Truly clean for the first time in years he had left the bathroom and all those complicated feelings from before shot to the surface at the scene laid out before him. You knelt on the ground with only a towel barely covering you. Your wet hair leaving drops of water rolling down your shoulders and back.

His jaw clenched and he fumbled to maintain some composure as you explained what you were doing practically naked in his room. He had found the robe in the master bathroom and was planning on wearing it to bed himself but when he caught sight of you he was only too happy to chuck it into your arms. He needed you to cover up. He needed you clothed and out of his room that instant!

He was far from relaxed after you had left that night. The sight of you knelt over, the towel just barely covering your ass was burned into his brain. He ignored the stirring under his towel and dove into the large bed. He tossed and turned most of the night trying to rid the image and the thoughts he was having. His mind betrayed him though as it brought him much more vivid fantasies of you on his bed wearing nothing at all and beckoning him to take you.

He woke soon after breathing hard and his hand around his cock. Felix cursed the fact that he had a lewd dream about you of all people. He tried to ignore the images flashing in his head but when he closed his eyes there you were on all fours again with a teasing smile. He jumped into the bathroom and turned on the shower hoping a cold jolt would snap him back to sense but then he was thinking of you in this shower with him. Water rolling down your body, that same teasing smile and sultry voice begging him to take you against the wall.

For a few minutes he swallowed his embarrassment and let the fantasy play out fucking into his fist and pretending it was you squeezing around him instead. He thought of your moans and whimpers egging him on. Begging him to be harder, faster, rougher. He bit his lip to keep from shouting as he finally spent himself and started coming down from his high.

He felt more relaxed afterwards but the release of tension didn’t make him feel better knowing he had masturbated to you. You were his...friend? You two had never been friends before coming to Storybrooke and he doubted that you two were that now. Whatever you were to him he shouldn’t be thinking about you like that. You both wanted to get back to Neverland and having obscene fantasies of you was not the way to go about that.

It was still fairly early but he was too wound up to go back to bed. So he got dressed and went exploring throughout the mansion. That’s how he had found the secret library full of blank books and that secret vault under the floorboards. He put everything back in place before racing to wake you up and show you. He had almost forgotten about his dream until you opened the door and he was met with your sleepy face and bedhead. Had you always been this attractive or was it just the layers of dirt that had gotten washed away last night that made you much more appealing to him suddenly? He decided not to dwell on why he was having these thoughts and instead took you down to see the stash of money he had found.

You were so giddy at the knowledge that you could actually have a roof over your head and food in your belly that he found himself smiling too. Your smile was so infectious. He let you take the lead when you went shopping. He didn’t recognize half the stuff he saw in that store but trusted your judgement when you dropped something in the cart.

Then there was when you went to go clothes shopping. Felix wouldn’t admit that he was getting a little worn out of his Neverland attire. It was functional but that was all he could say about it. The smell of it after he had gotten out of the bath the night before almost made him gag. Perhaps this was the reason no one wanted you or him around. You both reeked of years of living in a jungle.

You two were on totally opposite ends of the clothing store so Felix thought he was safe until you came charging into his dressing room ranting about the tiny pockets on your pants. The tight fitted pants that hugged your legs and ass perfectly. Then when you unceremoniously stuffed your hand down his pocket to see how deep they were it took all his self control and thoughts of rotting animal carcasses to not pop an erection right there in the store.

You were trying to make him burst a blood vessel and you didn’t even seem to notice! Which is why he was back in his room sitting on his bed hungry and horny. He was waiting until after he was sure you had gone to bed to get some food. He really didn’t want to chance running into you again and risk those impure thoughts bubbling to the surface once more.

Hopefully today had just been a spoof and tomorrow all these strange new thoughts and feelings would be gone. You two had a mission after all. Get back to Neverland. Lust wasn’t going to help that mission.

---

(Previous) (Next)

[miggydiaz]

For the salty ask 1, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 14, 16, 20, 22, 23 and 26 for cobra kai pretty please

My answers are so long, so I am putting this under the cut @wonderwolfballoon! Also I just noticed your Daniel icon I SWEAR I’M NOT DRAGGING HIM TO BE MEAN!!!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?* My biggest IDGI ships for CK are probably Elimetri or Kiaz. I’m not here to yuck other people’s yums or anything, but I do think there is something to the idea that Migueli isn’t popular because it’s a ship predicated on mutual respect for one another. Kiaz has the obvious enemies to lovers vibe and I just generally don’t sail those ships. Elimetri has... its problems, IMO, most especially around the idea that Demetri has to like... save Hawk from himself? Idk. I just like romances that I feel are based on love and mutual respect and not ...tropes.

 I am also not a Lawrusso shipper although I have a lot of those on my dash and you all are great! Again, not yucking yums! Daniel just makes me want to head butt him too much to pair him romantically with anyone 😂 I don’t even want his wife with him. He needs to self reflect~ 

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?* 

I once saw someone ship Amanda and Anoush and I noped out of that so fucking fast I almost tripped over myself. I’m not sure if they’re popular. I just think some people feel the need to get Amanda out of the way to sail their ship and stuck her with Anoush which... no. Just no. Let Amanda be a messy single queen with a martini hobby, thanks! 

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?* 

Not in CK. I’m lucky because I pretty much stick to my little Migueli bubble and I’m okay with that? Lmao lord knows the Squad on my dash is all about the DISCOURSE™️ so idk if I just don’t feel the need to get sucked into the wider ship wars because we have good healthy debates, but so far, so good. 

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?* 

I never hated it... I just didn’t have many feelings on shipping with this show in general at first. Then I was in the CK tag one day and I saw Migueli fan art. Then I discovered @afurioushawk‘s falconry series and it was all over for me after that! So fandom DID make me love a ship, just not one I hated.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why? Oh boy. How much time do you have? In some instances, it’s a good thing season 3 happened because otherwise, this would be a multi-page essay on the problems with race and class privilege as it pertains to Sam LaRusso and just some... generally not nice comments about Demetri that I’m conflicted about because I’m not sure if the writers are intentionally trying to write him a specific way and it’s just not translating to me or what. But season 3 revamped both of their images with me a lot. I’m way more flexible in terms of Demetri, but lmao I was the number one Sam LaRusso hater for a minute there (or maybe number 2, I can think of at least 1 other person who was in that boat with me back in like... August/September, but I won’t call them out because I don’t want them to get hate...) However, I have grown a bit in my opinions of Sam, and even though I still think she’s responsible  for a lot of shit she NEVER gets held accountable for, I also think that’s a reflection of the adults around her too, and this includes my otherwise unproblematic queen, Amanda.

But honestly, my most hated character (other than the obvious villain that is Kreese) is Daniel. No matter how handsome Ralph Macchio looks in cable-knits, because Daniel has always been a sanctimonious, shit starting drama king and I say that about KK Daniel too. I’m not saying Daniel was the ~true villain~ or anything, or that Johnny was innocent -- I can only drink so much Red and Yellow Kool-Aid -- but Daniel’s always been annoying to me as a protagonist, and turning him into a smarmy wealthy car salesman who is also a class traitor did not do him any favors in my book. I will say, I also like Daniel more in season 3 than I have in previous season, but since he is the adult, I will be mad at him longer than I will be at the kids, ya feel?

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

 Johnny’s entire season 3 storyline. The sheer level of REGRESSION at every turn drives me bonkers. It’s like watching him go through all of the stumbling blocks of season 1 all over again, but without the “he’s learning! He’s going to make mistakes!” free pass that I was willing to give him the first time around. He regularly jeopardizes Miguel’s recovery and it’s played for laughs. He fucks up on every level with Robby. He spends most of his time running away when things get hard or too real. He drops the ball completely with Hawk, and like, not to put too fine a point on it, but a lot of Hawk’s issues are because Johnny put Hawk on this ‘flip the script and be a badass’ path and then offered him no guidance for how to walk that path and instead left him in the hands of Kreese. And then he has the nerve to go to Hawk and basically be like “I made you what you are!” lmao yeah Johnny, you sure did, that’s why he’s breaking peoples arms, hoss. And then all of the nonsense with Ali and Carmen, like... if you were planning on teasing KK fans with Ali and him getting back together, why write her as married in the first place? Why even tease the idea of Carmen and Johnny until after you were sure what you were going to do with Ali as a character? Instead, they do what they did in season 3 and it makes him look like a colossal jerk. So yeah. Literally every choice they made with Johnny this season, I hated.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom? People who hate Tory are not valid, sorry not sorry.

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change? I would have kept Miguel entirely out of Tory and Sam’s beef. Or at least not directly inserted him into it like he was with the kiss. I know the writers thought it was necessary to push Tory to the point of inciting a fight at school, but I am just so exhausted over girls being unable to fight about anything but boys. Also I would bring Aisha back.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom? 

I am probably biased, but I still maintain it’s Migueli. Look, Miguel stood up to Kyler for Eli and Demetri both. Hawk joined CK because he saw what it could do for some skinny nerd who was getting his ass kicked. And he took to CK, really took to it! Even flourished before he started getting mixed messages. And he and Miguel were pretty much inseparable after that. They coordinated their wardrobes ffs. Hawk dubbed him El Serpiente and no one else calls him that — it’s Hawk’s nickname for him. Miguel confides in Hawk only secondary to Johnny, who is like a father to him. The entire Coyote Creek exchange shows they can fight and disagree but... well, to use the cliche, they don’t go to bed angry, you know? They’re square the very next day. Hawk is the first person at Miguel’s side when he gets kicked over the balcony and the LOOK he gives the second floor where Robby is? That boy is out for blood immediately to avenge Miguel. So much of his s3 behavior is fueled by that need for vengeance because MD is wholly responsible for what happened to Miguel. And Miguel is so confused and betrayed by Hawk’s shift in behavior, and yet still holds out hope that Hawk will see through Kreese’s BS and come with him to The Dojo I Refuse to Name. And when Hawk does make that deflection finally, he shows up at MD with Miguel. There’s so much more that I know I’m missing but whether someone ships them or not, that is a tried and true love and respect for one another, a willingness to fight for and defend one another that you don’t often see in TV friendships... or even in most tv relationships. And I just think that’s the best ❤️

22. Popular character you hate?

 Daniel, hands down. I mean... I don’t even necessarily hate Daniel, you know? I just think it’s really, pardon the pun, rich that a guy of immense wealth and privilege can’t get a therapist or turn to his far too patient wife for help with his existential crisis over his high school bully opening up a karate dojo to make some money and help a kid who is getting the crap kicked out of him. I get that Daniel’s narrative is necessary for the rivalry, but it does nothing to make him sympathetic as a character.

23. Unpopular character you love?

 Tory, definitely! Everyone hates her and then there’s me and the Squad over here banging away on our Coors Banquet cans yelling TORY RIGHTS! Seriously she catches so much flack for a teenage girl who is... the sole income provider for her family? At 17? While caring for a sick mom and a little brother? And fending off a creepy landlord? Tory has it so rough and then she meets a cool girl at her dojo who asks her to hang out at some fancy ass country club which is probably the nicest place Tory has ever been in, and then she gets talked down to and accused of being a thief and has another girl lay hands on her, only to find out that same girl is her new boyfriend’s ex and... ugh. I HATE that Tory gets shit all over when Tory and Sam wouldn’t even have beef if Sam had apologized to Tory as she SHOULD have. Tory isn’t innocent, but damn, I’d be pressed too.

 My other unpopular character I love? Nathaniel. Seriously that kid is THE best. He’s a literal child but is out there like I WILL FUCK YOU UP, even though he’s MD. Honestly, his Cobra Kai energy is so ferocious I won’t be surprised if he moves back to CK eventually. Anyway, I love him.


26. Most shippable character?

 Miguel, hands down. It’s because he’s so affable and sweet overall. And because his hair is so fluffy and pettable that no one can resist touching it. I like to imagine that one day he and Hawk are talking about their hair and Hawk makes a joke about how Miguel’s mane is getting so long that it’s going to be bigger than his own, and then he reaches out to ruffle it and internally has a bisexual meltdown because oh no IT’S SO SOFT AND NICE. But uh... anyway, yes. Definitely Miguel.

[opbackgrounds]

So I read the Ace Novel (Part 2)

I’m going to be level with you, if I hadn’t said I was going to do a write up for the novel, I don’t think I would have finished this one. The first fifty or so pages are terribly boring, and while it picks up considerably toward the end, I don’t think I can recommend it, for one reason and one reason only:

It reads like a freaking wikipedia article. And I hate it. 

I described Part 1 of the Ace novel like three separate one shots with the barest hint of continuity between them. That’s not the case this time around, as most of what it covers are events mentioned in the manga: The fight with Jinbe, Ace’s 100 battles with Whitebeard, Ace formally joining the Whitebeard Pirates. Comparatively speaking, that’s a lot of canon material to get through. Consequently, it’s also quite a bit longer than Part 1, about 200 pages. 

(some of those pages happen to be longer than others)

(yes this made me literally laugh out loud)

The problem is there is a metic ton of manga recap that has nothing to do with this novel, especially in chapters 1 and 2. This was baffling to me, as it seems unlikely that someone would pick up a One Piece magazine (where the novel was originally published) or a One Piece side story without bing familiar with the manga. Yet concepts like the Four Emperors, Celestial Dragons, and even the Grand Line were laid out in meticulous detail.

I am going to be unfair for a moment and compare the Ace novels to my favorite spin-off series of all time, the Kyoshi duology that takes place in the Avatar universe. 

Unlike the Ace novels, they take place several centuries before the main series, so there aren’t a lot of plot details that overlap with the animated series in the way the Ace novels do to the main manga. What is in common, however, isn’t repeated. Nowhere in the two Kyoshi books does she learn the story about Avatar Wan or any of the same lore details that are important to Aang and Korra’s stories. Instead it expands on the world building details laid out in the main series and deepens them. 

For example, do you want to know how the Fire Nation royalty got so good at lightning bending, or how the greater Earth Kingdom political landscape works? Read book 1. Do you want to know how the Fire Nation went from a fractured clan system to a strong centralized government or how advanced water bending healing techniques work? Read book 2. It’s exposition that fleshes out the system already in place, rather than retreading what’s already been established. 

Part 2 of the Ace novel does this a little bit when it develops the Pirate Code, something that has never mentioned in the manga, and even if it was Luffy’s not the sort of character that’s going to care to adhere to it. The strongest portion of the novel shows Ace going out on a mission on Whitebeard’s behalf, showing some of what it’s like to maintain the vast territories that he keeps under his flag.

But mostly...mostly it’s just recap. Literally the entire Fishman Island backstory is written out in some of the blandest narration I’ve ever read, paragraphs upon paragraphs talking about Queen Otohime and Fisher Tiger and the civil unrest of the Ryugu Kingdom, including but not limited to Vander Decken stalking Shirahoshi and her subsequent imprisonment in the royal tower. 

There’s also the wholesale recycling of gags straight from the manga that 1) don’t necessarily work as well in written format, and 2) show no originality or creativity on the part of the author. In my opinion, recurring gags are funniest when a writer can contrive different variations and circumstances around the base joke. Instead we get scenes like this beat-for-beat copy of Ace’s narcolepsy gag in Alabasta, down to using the waitress’s skirt as a napkin

I noticed in Part 1 that the author had snuck some canon elements in, such as Deuce and Ace building Striker—the one man, fire-powered boat he showed off in Alabasta—when I personally didn’t think either of them were smart enough to think up, let alone construct, anything that sophisticated. I didn’t mention it in my previous write up because there are a lot of fans that enjoy those kind of Easter eggs, and it’s a novel that runs on manga logic so it’s not exactly breaking my suspension of disbelief either. It was a minor quibble that didn’t really detract from my overall enjoyment. 

But the story of Fishman Island is at best tangentially related to the events of the novel. The only reason Fishman Island is important at all is because Ace decides to burn down Whitebeard’s flag on his way into the New World. 

Which brings me to perhaps the most interesting aspect of the novel: Ace himself. 

Even in the manga, you can make the case that there are two Aces, the happy-go-lucky, cool, and mysterious older brother of Luffy seen at Alabasta/post-Enies Lobby, and the angsty, existentially depressed young man with daddy issues that shows up during Impel Down/Marineford. 

The novel leans much closer to the latter. More than I expected it to. The Ace of Part 2 is hotheaded and a bit of a jackass. Whereas Luffy tends to go after people he has a personal beef with, Ace specifically targets Whitebeard because he was the closest to Roger, and he thinks that defeating Whitebeard will somehow bring him fame greater than his father. He ignores the concerns of his crew and the repeated warnings about how Emperors control vast armies...because of daddy issues. The novel goes out of his way that Ace’s dreams made him better suited to be a Revolutionary than a pirate, and it’s only because of his childhood promise that he became a pirate at all. It wasn’t something born out of true conviction or desire.

Laying it out like that, it might seem like this is a negative, but to me it’s one of the most interesting things the novel has to offer. I thought Part 1 worked best when it acted as a character study for Deuce, Ace, and the marine girl whose name I have already forgotten, focusing on how Ace brought together degenerates unwanted by even other degenerates. The same is true here: Once the exposition dumps are over and the focus returns to the titular character, the author is able to dig a little bit deeper into into Ace’s psyche, and he takes it in a direction I didn’t expect, but was consistent with his manga portrayal. 

I just wish I could have seen a little bit more of it. 

And speaking of characters I wish I had seen more of, after focusing so much on Deuce and Marine Girl in Part 1, they have a much reduced role in Part 2. In fact, Marine Girl isn’t seen or mentioned even once, which I thought was kind of strange. I guess I don’t see the point in putting so much effort was put into her only for her to be thrown away without even a cameo. Likewise, after spending Part 1 as the principal POV character, Deuce is set aside for Thatch and Teach. Whether that’s a good or bad thing will depend largely on how much you enjoy those individual characters. 

I don’t say this often, but these are books that can be judged by their covers. Part 1, Ace is more jovial—the burning flame that attracts others to his greatness—while introducing two major new characters to his journey. Part 2, Ace is grim and angry—the dark, smoldering flame burning with the desire to destroy the system that would have killed him for being the wrong man’s son—while focusing much more on the Whitebeard Pirates and what makes them great. 

It’s an interesting contrast, the two sides of Ace’s character as seen in the manga given a little bit of limelight. But damn if it wasn’t tedious to get through. 

[powerbottomeminem]

if ur still doin the kiss prompts, can u do the 51. public kiss but its em kissing kim and kells sees?

51. Public kiss (Eminem x Kim, MGK witness)

"What the fuck is this!", Colson's voice was too loud.

Marshall hadn’t closed the hotel room door yet, only a confused "Huh?" left him.

"Don’t play dumb with me", Colson snarled, "I shouldn’t even be here, you ... What the hell is it with you two?"

"Who?", Marshall asked still confused and walked closer.

Colson threw a magazine at him. "You and her. I don’t get it. Was this all just a trick to get her back? Or some weird revenge for the beef?"

"What the-?" The cover of the magazine had Marshall’s face on it and the headline read: Eminem and Kim, is it real love this time? "Oh come the fuck on!", Marshall huffed indignant and threw it on the couch table. "You know not to believe that shit. They always lie."

"Oh really?" Colson picked the magazine up again and opened it, shoving the page with a bunch of paparazzi photos into Marshall’s face. "Pictures don’t lie!"

Pictures of Marshall kissing Kim. New pictures of them.

"You swore it was over. In how many songs did you swear it was over?" Tears gleamed in Colson's eyes, but the anger kept them inside. "Am I just a joke to you? Fucking asshole!"

"Colson, hon, I-", Marshall started but his words wouldn’t be believed. It’s not what it looks like, yeah that’s what they all say. "Let’s talk about this", he said instead.

"No! Don’t butter me up or some stupid shit. Just break up with me, alright. Let’s get it over with. I can’t win against here anyway …", voice fading on the last words. Anger fading for sadness, the real feeling of the moment. "I should’ve never done this in the first place."

"But-" Marshall looked at his boyfriend - apparently soon to be ex-boyfriend - unbelieving and shocked. It was this easy to end? Didn’t they mean more to each other? A few stupid photos and it was over already? Then what was this even? Merely a fling, meaningless and without substance.

But Marshall’s heart hurt. "How can you even think that!", he yelled back, "Don’t you know how much bullshit that woman put me through? And I her? How can you even for a second believe I’d take her back? I learned my fucking lesson, you fucking idiot!" Fists balled and shaking, not with anger but pain. He’d thought this was good now, a relationship worth having. Not perfect by any means, but one where they understood each other. That’s all Marshall was really yearning for. Somebody who understood, somebody who knew, somebody to seek comfort with when life was getting too much.

And he’d thought to be that person for Colson, too. But perhaps Colson didn’t want that. What did Marshall know what the other wanted from this?

"I bet you said that the first time, too", Colson threw back at him. The anger sounded exhausted, easier to keep it up than to face reality.

Marshall knew that feeling but he never found how to break it. "Shut the fuck up! You know nothing!"

"I know enough!", their voices were both too high, too loud, "You still love her, don’t you. So you kiss her and take her back when she comes crawling! And I’m just a side piece!"

Marshall kicked against the couch table and it fell over from the force. "Shut! The fuck! Up!" That wasn’t what had happened, not this time. "It was just a stupid fucking kiss! Shit!" Why was this going so bad?

~.~

Kim smiled earnestly, almost shy. "This was surprisingly nice. Kinda weird but nice", a short look around the restaurant, empty but for them. She wasn’t used to this.

Neither was Marshall. This always felt eerie and weird to him, but this was his life and he had learned to live with it eventually. "Yeah, it was." Not being with each other for years had calmed down the waves, both of them hot heads, both of them finding this life stressful but perhaps for different reasons. Marshall wanted to say sorry. If it wasn’t for him, her life might’ve not been such a shitshow. Perhaps it would’ve still turned out this way, just less public. Who knew? He didn’t say it though.

They stood up from the table and their dinner, it felt like the last dinner they would ever have together. All three of their daughters grown up now, the last band holding them together grew thinner and thinner each year. There was no reason to meet anymore, less reason to have a real conversation.

Once Marshall had thought he’d never be without her, now he couldn’t imagine a life with her. The love that once was left nostalgia and obligation and memories, but looking at her now how she corrected the collar of her coat ... She was a woman he didn’t know and that was okay.

He held the door open for her and as she stepped through, he held her back for a moment. "Have a good life", he said quietly, honestly and kissed her goodbye.

Mild surprise on her face. "Good night, Marshall." She left for her car, only once looking back and waving at him briefly. Did she feel the same thing? He could never tell.

But tonight he didn’t mind. It didn’t matter and it would never again. She was just a woman securing her alimony now with the children out of the picture. And to his own surprise he didn’t mind that either.

~.~

"It was just a stupid kiss", Marshall repeated, not willing to let the hurt show. Colson didn’t deserve to see it if he believed this bullshit. "It didn’t even mean anything! Why’re you making such a mess?"

"I’m making the mess?", Colson asked indignant, "You fucking kissed her! Her of all people!"

Marshall threw his hands in the air frustrated. "Yes, you! She’s just a woman, don’t blow it out of proportion."

"No, she’s not", Colson huffed. "And you know that."

"Yes! I know that, so fucking believe me when I tell you she’s just a woman." He stared at Colson through slitted eyes, to hide the plea he felt filling them up with wetness. "And as a reminder, I don’t really like women all that much, aight."

Colson crossed his arms in front of his chest, his height always had him looking down on Marshall. "That’s hard to believe. Then why were you kissing her? Her of all people."

"Because ...", she wasn’t a part of his life anymore and he was sentimental enough to think of that as sad, right in every way but sad still. Marshall shrugged, "I can kiss whoever I fucking want."

"No, you can’t, asshole. Are you this stupid? You definitely can’t kiss her!" Desperation was gleaming through the anger, through the tears hard fighting not to be cried.

Marshall didn’t want to kiss her, not the way Colson thought. He really didn’t want to kiss anyone but Colson that way. Not necessarily meaning he wouldn’t end up doing something stupid at some point, but right here right now he wanted to kiss Colson, his boyfriend, the person he loved. But it seemed impossible.

Why was this so hard? Just one step, a few words, an apology and this whole thing could be over. But Marshall wasn’t in the wrong here. He hadn’t done anything and nothing that warranted yelling and shouting. Colson needed to make the first step.

But the only step Colson took was towards the hotel room door. "Fine! If you wanna kiss her so badly, do it. Be with her. Try it again with her. But don’t come running to me when you end up being burned again. That’s entirely on you!"

He held him back for a moment. "Don’t leave me, Colson", he said quietly, honestly and kissed him to stay.

Marshall was losing the fight like he always did when it came to love. Once he swore not to allow this shit again, to rather stay alone than let this happen again. But he hated being alone. He wanted to be with somebody who understood, somebody who knew, somebody to seek comfort with when life was getting too much.

But right now he wanted to be with Colson regardless. Perhaps some day the man could be one of those things, there was always hope underneath the pain.

[justslightlycool]

Hey bnha manga rant here. I'm kinda disappointed with Shoto's arc in the recent chapters. After the big dabi reveal the war arc felt kind of convoluted because of one plot twist after another. We also get very minimal pov from Shoto after the reveal. He was finally healing mentally. But we hardly get to see his proper emotional turmoil and the pressure of fighting his own brother in the future. Even in the dabi vs shoto fight, Deku sort of steals the spotlight by demonstrating his new quirk. I also think it would have been nice to see 1a's reaction. How do you feel about this?

Ohoho~ my time has finally come.

Welp, bb, I have a lot of feelings about Shoto’s arc and the manga’s plot in general, in this essay I will but to answer your questions:

1. Yes, everything post-Toya reveal felt like Boku no Hero Speedrun and it did take precious focus and pages away from an emotionally charged for everyone - Shoto, Toya, and Endeavor.

2. Having said that, it didn’t bother me that Hori didn’t dive into Shoto’s turmoil right away (and by this I mean, during the battle) bc I read it as Shoto taking over while Endeavor froze. Shoto, canonically, is great at compartmentalizing (eg: there’s the amazing hero Endeavor, from whom he can learn so much; and then there’s his abusive father, Enji Todoroki). So right then, it felt very in-char for him to handle Toya’s attacks, even trying to reach out at once (objectiveness + kindness, traits we have seen other characters praise Shoto for having).

3. Now, post-battle...We got that one panel where Shoto thinks “I have to be the one to face Toya” or something along those lines and then we have Rei arriving with divorce papers and the whole TodoFam assuming responsibility for the creation of Dabi, therefore telling Shoto ~they’re all in this together~ and heeeeere is where my particular beef lies.

4. I am not exactly bothered by the fact Hori didn’t explore more of Shoto’s feelings about fighting Toya because - and this might be controversial - Shoto barely remembers his brother. He’s much younger and had barely any connection to his siblings. I think he feels the pressure from the concept of fighting against a brother, but not Toya himself (completely different than if Natsuo were in Shoto’s shoes, for example). But we did get Shoto’s empathy, how he can see his past self in Toya and recognize the same self-destruction, etc. And I feel like this is where the connection and chance to save Toya is, so I was satisfied by the way Hori did it.

5. What I did miss, and I think we’ll never get to see, is his reaction to Rei’s admission she’s to blame for his scar; what was he thinking when he saw Endeavor crying?; what did Natsuo and Fuyumi say to him after Hawks and BJ left?

6. I say this bc, despite the western fandom’s stance on Endeavor and the tons of hcs and fanfics where Shoto is forever sluuuuurping away at his dad, canon is showing us that he might indeed choose forgiveness. And, damn it, I wanna see how he arrives there!

7. I love the Todofam plot, it is my favorite in the entire series: it’s incredibly nuanced, from how the siblings react to Endeavor’s abuse and neglect; to how it affected their other parental figure, an abuse victim so broken she hurts one of her children; to Endeavor himself. Everything has layers, no cookie-cutter reactions and - most wonderfully of all - no right answers. It’s okay to forgive or not. The first does not equal forgetfulness, a free pass; and the second does not damn you to a life of bitterness. It’s just what’s right for that heart.

8. Now, Deku’s new quirks...*sigh* Man, that’s a whole other essay, but I’ll say that I hate-hate-hate the narutofication of Deku. As for 1-A’s reactions, I can’t say I was surprised. Since Hori didn’t take the time to explore Shoto’s POV, I felt like he wouldn’t show much of the other students.

9. So as you can see by this essay, I FEEL FUCKING ROBBED, NONNIE. Hori has proven before that he knows how to write emotional build-up and that he knows the importance of it. There’s no way this man crafted this plotline without knowing it, SO WHERE IS IT?! HUH?!

10. In conclusion, I think BNHA is about to become a different manga. Hori moved away from mixing action and high school shenanigans when Deku dropped out. I don’t necessarily have a problem with that if it’s well-executed, but I suspect heavy editorial meddling and Hori burning out are stripping away the human element that first attracted me to BNHA (shonen can combine action and emotion, just look at FMA), and turning it into a Cool Fight Scene extravaganza that’s not my cup of tea.

tl;dr: I hate it here and my boi deserved better

[my-introvert-hideout]

Fukuzawa Yukichi: INFJ [BSD]

Ni > Fe > Ti > Se

*Based off Season 1 of the anime [Chapters 1-12] with character-based spoilers from the Wikis. I’ve also read a synopsis of “The Untold Story of the Founding of the Detective Agency,” which gives lots of insight into Fukuzawa and Ranpo in particular, and also I know Yosano’s backstory. The Onsen Drama will also make an appearance occasionally. I feel like I have a good enough grasp on their characters for this and will only add more examples rather than changing types in the future. (At least, I think so.)

I’VE ALSO SEEN HIM TYPED AS: ISTJ, ISTP, ENFJ

Ni is a tricky function. It also doesn’t help that Fukuzawa is very well-balanced. Many people reference the fact that he values tradition and the past to say that his dominant function is Si. Which isn’t necessarily true. Both INFPs and ESTPs can be kind from the outside, but the real difference is in their motives and reasons for behaving that way. I like history. So I must be an ISFJ. (And there are plenty of ISFJs who hate history.) It’s the reasons for liking / doing something that differentiates type. For all we know, he could like tradition because he connects to many of their intuitive values and ideas (Ni) or the visual aspects such as clothing design (Se). I know that applies to me, for sure. We also aren’t aware if Fukuzawa’s respect of tradition extends past Japanese culture as an overall Si value. It’s also worth mentioning that respecting others’ traditions, beliefs, and culture isn’t applied to just Si. Fe keeps tabs on exactly that; other people’s feelings, values, etc. Now that we’ve combed through why he’s not automatically an Si-dom, I’ll get to why I think he’s Ni dominant. He continuously thinks ahead. Si also does this, but not to the extent that Ni does. In ‘The Untold Story,’ we see Fukuzawa’s attention focused on the future in more than one instance. He planned about ways to ditch Ranpo and created the Agency to fight for justice even after their deaths. That’s relatively big-picture thinking to me. The difference between Si-dom Ne-inferior and Ni-dom Se-inferior is this: ISxJs need to learn to accept different was of doing / looking at things while INxJs work to bring their vision and ideas into the concrete world. Fukuzawa seems to fall into the second category. (I also think it’s quite obvious that he’s not Fe dominant.) I’m also trying out this theory that generally someone’s likes and dislikes correspond to whether or not they’re a sensor or intuitive.

LIKES: Cats, beef hot pot, alcohol, equality

DISLIKES: Feudalism

Surprisingly quite equal between sensing and intuition. (Or not so surprising, as he’s balanced.) However, I don’t buy Fukuzawa having a large gap between his Thinking and Feeling functions. So, by default, it must be between Sensing and Intuition. It’s also worth noting that his only dislike is intuitive in nature.

When Atsushi was kidnapped, Fukuzawa needed to ask the world’s greatest detective for help. Ranpo mentions not being interested in a promotion or bonus (likely due to past experience with Te-using bosses), but Fukuzawa offers praise (something his Fe knows that Ranpo loves). Which works. Te would behave in the same way that Kunikida responds (duh). We all know that Kunikida is very moralistic -- but he was also the one to suggest Kyōka be handed over to the authorities. In this case, both Te and Ti would be on the same page, which we see with Ranpo and Kunikida. However, Fukuzawa disagrees. While an IxTJ’s Fi could definitely place value on its members, it would likely see the potential threat of Te reputation tarnishing (like Kunikida did) and still side on letting one member that he wasn’t very connected with go, for the sake of the ADA. Ranpo states to “Consider the reasoning behind it.” Fukuzawa answers with “One of our own is in danger. He needs help. Are you telling me that there can be any better reasoning than that?” A Thinker wouldn’t say that. Though developed ones may place more value on Feeling, they’d fundamentally disagree with that statement.  Tertiary Te has an Fe blind spot that, however developed, they won’t necessarily care much about. They may realize its potential, but won’t be worried about using it. And that doesn’t seem to apply to Fukuzawa, in my opinion. It seems like clear tertiary Ti filtering through auxiliary Fe, which is also the exact same judging axis and positioning as Atsushi and Tanizaki (ISFJs).

Again, Ti often filters through Fe with Fukuzawa, but paired with Ni, can create an illusion of Te. However, he doesn’t use logic in the same way that people like Kunikida do. His Ti can often keep up with Ranpo -- at least, significantly more than other people can (other than maybe Dazai). But that does make sense; an xNFx and an xSTx would understand an xNTx pretty well, but not completely. I previously did consider ISTP, but dominant Thinking doesn’t seem right. Even with somewhat developed Fe, IxTPs will still primarilly use Ti in decision-making. They won’t turn into Feelers. And I really just can’t imagine Fukuzawa with inferiro Fe, even if he is well-balanced.

Naomi went to get Fukuzawa because of his position as the organization’s president, but also because she needed his Se push that she wasn��t able to do. And, as stated with the Ni section, he was able to create the Armed Detective Agency as an outlet for his vision. Fukuzawa is also said to be quite skilled in martial arts. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a sensor. I mean, I’m an INFJ who took MMA for three years and was pretty decent at it, but all that did was develop my Se more. I’m not a sensor now. And besides, he’s not only had plenty of opportunities but plenty of time to develop his inferior function.

Te Blind Spot: Ti combined with Ni or Fe can often give the illusion of Te. Of course, he definitely has Te skills due to development, but much of the legwork for this function rests on Kunikida.

Ni-Ti Loop: ‘An INFJ in an Ni-Ti loop attempts to suppress their emotional side, shutting themselves off from others and becoming unable to share their feelings with those around them. They will become extremely withdrawn and private, attempting to become analytical and logical without employing their feeling side. They will attempt to view everything in a logical light while shutting off their tendency to consider things in the light of the feelings and values of those around them. In addition, they will repress their feelings.’ source Just head on over to Fukuzawa and Ranpo’s Dynamic.

[yhtaejoon]

hi! this is chey, i was here close to opening with kim1 (kim joonwoo), but i got really busy with a new job and accidentally dipped. i’m so so sorry for that! anyway, here’s taejoon’s unfinished info page & his pinterest board. this is rushed so it’s probably gonna be messy??? idk. we’re all in this together. hmu on discord if that’s your thing --- pepper#4940

full name is kang taejoon, but he has no affiliation with the kang family. he’s actually filling the role of daebak8! i checked the last names to make sure he didn’t have the same one as one of the families but alas, my pea-brain still failed me.

on that note, he’s a tiktoker born in 2000. started on vine in 2012, but didn’t actually get serious about his online presence until 2014-ish and IMMEDIATELY started lying about his life because what else is a fourteen year old gonna do online?

lied about his age, his hobbies, his family, his experiences, etc. he just really, really wanted to seem interesting, and hey! it worked! he eventually fooled thousands of people into thinking he’s someone worth their time. chased trends like crazy, kept in close touch with his “fanbase”, picked up sponsorships all while keeping his ACTUAL life completely secret basically. got very comfortable with lying.

he was always pretty obsessed with the attention because he lost his popularity when he stopped playing soccer (f’s in the chat for the former athlete side of him) & getting money from promoting brands was good, too, bc while his family isn’t necessarily lower class, they could still use some help. plus he needed cash to buy anime merch.

flash forward to 2020. he graduated high school in early 2019, still has no desire to go to college or get a “real” job. he has it made rn living in the daebak house and creating online content still. living the life.

except not really because how fulfilling can it honestly be to watch thousands of people becoming fond of ur fake persona? he still lies a ton, has begun to feel like no one will ever like him for who he actually is bc it’s quite disappointing in comparison to the always ON persona he shows. 

his tiktok user name is “beetlejoon” which is a play on beetlejuice if you couldn’t tell dshbfvds.

he speaks english really well from a mix of classes when he was young, growing up online and trying to appeal to westerners, and watching a ton of western shows/films. he does kind of have an accent but for the most part.... a lot of ppl who only know him online assume he lives in america/is from america.

the rumor about him buying views/followers is definitely true. he’s not losing popularity or anything, he just wants to look even more relevant than he actually is.

cries himself to sleep like every night but you’d NEVER guess. he’s super funny when he’s around people, knows what people want and will do anything he can to blend in and make everyone like him. needs that validation so bad. life of the party.

flirts a lot for no other reason than he can and he likes the validation of people flirting back! but his love life is hectic and always disappointing. on one hand, he knows a ton of his followers are delusional w the idea that they can be with him and he doesn’t wanna lose followers by being Unavailable. on the other hand, can’t risk being too close with anyone and them finding out nothing he says is true. heehee.

he follows whatever trends are in at the moment, so he owns a ton of dumb shit that will never be practical/clothes he’ll never wear in public/probably has dumb tattoos he got impulsively.

his trademark thing (that he stole Obviously) is a broken heart that he draws on his cheekbone Every Single Day. probably claims that it’s a tattoo just to fuck with his followers but there’s those odd times when it’s not there and everyone’s confused.

wears all black usually, lots of chains, leather, platform boots, dangly earrings, but he’s not the kind of guy your parents worn you about. he couldn’t be scary if he tried. he’s CLEARLY just a tiktok e-boy. he’s more like the lowlife your parents compare you to to make you feel better about how slow your life is moving.

while we’re talking about parents.... his gave up on him when he moved into the daebak house. he tries to give them money and support them but they won’t have it. decline his calls. don’t write him back. they think he’s mad embarrassing which is... fair. his tiktok presence is definitely questionable

likes to be funny and make people laugh, but he actually cannot take anything seriously even if he tries. this definitely gets on peoples’ nerves, has probably ended some good friendships/relationships/whatever else. sometimes he can lighten the mood if it’s dark but most of the time it just pisses people off bc it seems like he doesn’t care/doesn’t understand.

idk what else to say but if you’ve read this far and you like music, two songs that i heavily associate with taejoon are cotton candy by yungblud and lowkey as hell by waterparks. listen to them if you want... or don’t.

i don’t have a plots page put together yet, but here are some vague ideas i have:

(0/2) --- past tinder dates whom he lied to about his age and it came out somehow </3 maybe he tried to take them to a bar and he got caught with a fake id. maybe they went snooping and found out none of his info adds up. either way, the dates were short-lived and they probably clowned him pretty hard.

(0/?) --- fans of his tiktok page.

(0/?) --- alternatively, people who know of his tiktok page and think it’s dumb.

(0/1) --- another influencer who is jealous of his following, thinks he doesn’t deserve it.

(0/1) --- another influencer who “beefs” with him online so they both get more views.

(0/1) --- another influencer he collabs with a lot, even if their content is completely different. they’re friends, so might as well piggyback of each other’s popularity!

(0/1) --- close friend who makes frequent appearances on his tiktok, usually for relationship trends bc he doesn’t have an actual partner to film them with. usually acting like clowns, clearly faking but his fans still think it might be real. 

(0/1) --- someone he hooked up with at one (or more) of the daebaek house parties and ghosted afterwards. completely acts like he doesn’t know them. oops.

(0/?) --- friends to do dumb shit with. he’s impulsive and just hates to be alone (especially when doing stuff that might get him in trouble) so you could say these are his accomplices. if he wants to do things he’ll regret, they’re always in!

(0/?) --- some mellow friends who balance out his chaos.

(0/1) --- the one (1) friend he got matching tattoos with on impulse. probably something really stupid. the one thread that holds their friendship together when they fight.

(0/1) --- someone who holds themselves to really high standards, takes life seriously. thinks they’re better than taejoon and doesn’t hesitate to show it.

(0/1) --- ex partner who broke up with taejoon because (1) he wouldn’t stop lying to them, (2) he still claimed to be single online and (3) he just cracked jokes when they tried to talk out their problems, wouldn’t really listen. probably hate him now but he’s really sorry. please accept these (cheap, probably wilting) apology flowers.

i want every plot. all of them. anything u can throw at me! but if i kept typing ideas out, i’d be at this forever and we really can’t have that. so just hit me up if any of these catch your attention or if you’ve got anything you think he’d fit! 

[desert-dyke]

the things I’ve read in 2020 and some thoughts...

hey blacklist this now because it’s gonna get long from here. I spent NYE home alone and reading and it has really set the tone for this year. Fortunately, I’ve been reading way more for the first time in...I literally don’t even know? Maybe forever? Which is really dope! Books are fucking fantastic and I hope this trend continues for the rest of the year. So I’m gonna use this post (and continue to add to it as I finish books) to talk about the things I’ve read. It could be annoying. I could give up on it really soon. People might not read this at all. It’s okay! It’s my blog I’ll use it how I want and I want to talk about books I otherwise don’t really have a place to talk about them. 

The Shape of Water - Guillermo Del Toro & Daniel Kraus

If you know me irl you’ll know that I love this movie. Like, it’s probably my favorite movie as an adult. I love watching a movie and then going back and reading the book to compare and vice versa, but knowing that the book came out after the movie did discourage me at first, making me think it was nothing more than a cash grab. Though I was talking to (my boss) who also loves this movie and is a huge bibliophile and she highly recommended the book, so I figured I’d give it a stab.

The writing style is beautiful and enticing and overall I was impressed with the quality of it. It’s fast paced and switches perspective between characters frequently, though remains easy to follow. The book focuses a little less on Elisa and more on the other characters and stories around her, including, surprisingly, Elaine Strickland, who despite never wondering much about during the movie, I enjoyed being included in the book. There’s a deeper exploration into pretty much everyone’s backstories, and more prominent character development. It’s excellent as a standalone piece, and supplementary to readers who have seen the movie. There’s also some alternative takes on certain scenes, which I don’t necessarily like better or worse than the choices made in the movie, but it makes for an interesting read. 

The book explores themes of alienation and being othered, with a main cast that breaks the stereotype of straight white fully-abled male. Elisa is a mute woman, Zelda, a black woman, and Giles a gay man. With the political climate of the 1950′s, all of them are outsiders and all of them find solidarity in each other, despite their unique struggles, and also with the creature.

The only thing I didn’t quite like was the portrayal of the creature. I think greater efforts were put into making him more godlike and otherworldly, but also, simultaneously, he comes off as much more like a wild animal in the book, and the latter came off as strange to me, and not in the way I like it. Overall, even if the movie didn’t exist and I only read this, I’d still think it was a really good story.

To Be Taught, If Fortunate - Becky Chambers

If I depended on the synopsis on the back of the book to decide whether or not I wanted to read this, I don’t know if I would have bothered. To be honest, I only wanted to read this because Becky Chambers is my current favorite author and all other of her works I’ve read I’ve absolutely adored, so naturally, I wanted to give this one a chance, even if the concept wasn’t as riveting as I would have hoped.

She didn’t disappoint. 

Whereas her other books take place in a vast space civilization where humanity is integrated with aliens and there’s technology beyond our dreams, this book took place in a different creative universe, a little more closer to our timeline. The book is about space exploration for the sake of learning and taking care to be as least intrusive on the explored worlds as possible. It’s a nice break from what I usually see in sci fi, with colonization and owning space and wanting to use knowledge in order to hurt others. It follows a research crew of four, sent to research four planets in a far solar system. There’s a lag in travel time, since FTL travel had not been discovered yet, so a common device is communication with Earth is off by years. Eventually, the crew realizes they have lost contact with Earth and Earth had likely suffered some sort of devastation. It wonders if Earth has forgotten them or if it’s even worth it to return since they might be the last astronauts of their time. 

The worlds they visit and research are unique and vivid and fill me with wonder. They’re realistic to the point where I found myself questioning if the book was prophetic. Chambers makes effort to incorporate science into her novels, but in a way that does not estrange a reader like me who only has a basic knowledge in science. It’s one of the things I find most attractive about her work, because it has this added realism and this feeling of “wow, this really could happen” and yet remains easy to follow. 

I found the crew to be likeable and diverse. Three of them are in a relationship with each other, and while polyamory isn’t usually an interest of mine, it’s in the background as well as it’s never used as a point to cause drama. It’s a healthy functional relationship. Also, one of the crew is a trans man and another is asexual, both details that exist within a single line, but yet important to be included to flesh out the characters. 

What I didn’t like was the almost rush to the end of the book. It’s a short book, roughly 100 pages, but it seems to me as if it reaches it’s climax and then the book just ends and it kind of feels like it’s still in the middle of things. I’ve had time to think about it, though, and I’ve considered that maybe anything else written would have been redundant or just filler and therefore not needed. So in that case, that’s fair. It still felt a little abrupt to me, but that’s what fic is for. 

Overall, if you haven’t read anything by Becky Chambers you need to change that immediately. Please don’t leave me alone and fanning over this incredible author!!

All Systems Red - Martha Wells

This was another short one, and in fact, I read it entirely in one sitting. The concept of the book was really intriguing, and actually I selected it because I liked the opening line so much. I have a lot of feelings about AI and robots, so this was a naturally alluring story to me. Mixed with the fact that the beefed out security robot, who calls themselves “Murderbot”,  was absolutely obsessed with soap opera tv just absolutely gets me!

The story is told through Murderbot’s perspective, who is assigned to guard a research team. They had recently hacked their government module, which now allows them full autonomy and no longer having to obey orders from their assigned humans. It’s interesting to see Murderbot actively choose to help the humans. Also, needing to maintain an illusion that they aren’t unshackled, since what they did was forbidden. 

The research team is full of interesting characters, who I find tragically under explored. The only couple in the story is wlw, which I vastly appreciated, along with they obviously cared and loved each other and their relationship was not used for drama purposes. In favor of the lack of development with the cast of characters, since the narrator is Murderbot and part of Murderbot’s personality is they are actively trying not to care about these humans, it does make sense. Still, I would have loved to see more of the crew and more development between Murderbot and them. 

I like the dark lore that is hinted behind Murderbot’s existence. There’s organic counterparts to their machine made from cloned humans. It’s creepy and morbid, but a lot is with the lore of the universe that the story takes place in. There’s hints towards a heavy capitalist society in space where the humans and Murderbot came from, where the right price will get you anything, regardless of morals. The overall tone of the story is very quirky, but it needs to be to offset just how dark everything that happens actually is. The book explores the concept of corporate greed, from the existence of Murderbot to the deaths that come to humans on the planet the crew is studying.

This book was deeply fascinating, but I didn’t love the way it was written. I love every concept and choice made, but I didn’t love the execution. It left me wanting without satisfaction. It’s not a bad book and I still over all enjoyed it. It is part of a series, which I did not realize at the time of reading it, but the ending leaves room for more to be written, so maybe in the following books there will be the development I desired. However, the ending of the book leaves it apparent that Murderbot will not be interacting with the same characters of the first, but that is just an assumption and I could be wrong. I’m not sure yet if I will read more in the series but I’m not entirely opposed to it.

All the Birds in the Sky - Charlie Jane Anders

This is another one that I definitely would not have read if I had to choose based on the synopsis alone. The synopsis made it sound so run-of-the-mill star-crossed-lovers, which, hey, maybe that actually helps sell the book because its a pretty well loved trope, but for me it was off-putting, as well as isn’t fair to what the book actually turned out to be. But that’s what reviews are for, and I found this book from some sort of list, I think it was best sci-fi books written by women.

The general idea of the book is a witch and a techie fall in love while the world is falling apart due to a conflict between magic and technology. The book is lauded for bending genre and honestly, it fucking has. It’s as equally a sci-fi novel as it is a fantasy novel. There’s advanced technology, such as robots, two second time machines, rocket ships, and ultimately, a portal leading to a different universe in hopes of escaping the destruction of earth. On the magic side, there’s a connection to nature, rules that have to be abided, quirky witches and magicians and mystique. Both Laurence and Patricia are outsiders that have seemingly found these secret niches in the world that becomes their own.

Both plots are interesting in their own, and could possibly exist as two separate books, but what ties the entire story together is the connection Laurence and Patricia have, and their ultimate romance.

The romance is a wonderful slow burn, from childhood friends, to adult friends to lovers. By the time Patricia and Laurence finally get together, you really fucking want them to. They weave in and out of each other’s lives throughout their own personal plots. There’s tensions and there’s release. And most importantly, they have lives outside of each other. Their romance compliments the story, rather than the story being entirely about romance. 

Similar to the former review, there’s a lot of quirkiness in the story, that ultimately offsets how dark the story can be. The story doesn’t shy away from complicated relationships with parents and siblings and friends and other people, people of mixed ages and backgrounds. It explores abuse, bullying, natural disaster and loss. The story would have been miserable and a drag to read without the whimsical qualities of it. Plus it’s a fantasy/sci-fi, so it should have some quirkiness to it! And it made for a very enjoyable read!

My criticism for this one is, yet again, the ending. The conflict resolves and the story comes to an end. In favor of how it was written, the way things resolve, I believe the world is about to go through a grand change. While the story is quirky, I think it would have been too corny to have had a glittery magical wave drag across the land, altering the world as it went. So, it’s fair, I guess, that the author chose to end it where she did. Still, it left me craving more. Maybe because the story was so good and I wasn’t yet ready to let it go.

Also, as a side note, the author is a trans woman. So if you’re looking for books written by trans authors to support, put this at the top of your list.

[fizzingwizard]

In winter I discovered the “Anne with an E” series on Netflix. Of course, I was excited, because I grew up with Anne of Green Gables - I am pretty sure I never finished the series, but I read at least half the books. I loved the early ones but lost interest when she grew up. I was not one of those kids who idolized adulthood; looking back, most of the stories I loved best were about kids, so I think I just didn’t connect with Anne the same way when she became an adult. I still adore her story, though, and the first book in particular.

(actually, I wrote my senior thesis on kids in literature, meaning outside of children’s/MA/YA books. It was fun)

The show’s been canceled after season 3, which I’m sad about, but it’s mixed feelings tbh. As usual I have Thoughts.

So there are a lot of great things about “Anne with an E.”

the intro is beautiful and fitting

the casting is pretty well done, imo. Matthew and Marilla in particular were just perfectly cast.

the setting, costumes, etc are really gorgeous, I get such a fresh, pastoral sense looking at it

the appreciation for and development of my quirky girl Anne is there

there is a huge focus on female relationships and friendships without much in the way of cattiness

the addition of some new characters and themes both keeps an old story alive and relevant while also pointing out that what we think of as “modern” problems (lgbtqa+ representation, for instance) are really things that have existed throughout history

and on that, I loved all of the new characters, especially Bash, Mary, and Ka’kwet. Also Diana’s lesbian aunt is Lifestyle Goals.

But there are also things I definitely didn’t like.

the acting... like I’m sure all the actors are very good, but the script I think doesn’t play to their strong points. There’s a lot of stiffness. The character I think who does the smoothest job no matter what is actually Bash. It’s worst with Gil. He can act, I think, he  seemed pretty good with body language, but I cringe when he talks. He only gets pure, wise things to say. He never sounds like a child. Everything he does is right. The same is true of Anne as well, and another thing that bothers me - as much as I appreciate her passion and sense of justice, I don’t like that it overrules her childishness so much of the time. But she’s the main character and has a lot more time to shine in many ways, while a lot of Gil’s storyline outside of Anne is new stuff not in the books, mainly not there to develop him.

three seasons of the show and very little of it seems to actually be from the pages of the books. They did the apple cordial scene, but there were so many others that Iooked forward to and they just didn’t bother with. Those scenes were the reason I loved Green Gables. I don’t mind that they changed characters etc so they could make room to include those so-called “modern” stories - like I said, that adds to its relevancy. But why cut out so much of what was good in the books?

because they skipped so much canon development, the rushed finale in season 3, presumably when they realized they were being canceled, has no tension or impact.

also because they skip so many good parts in the books, many episodes feel like a Hallmark TV show to me. Anne goes from quirky, clumsy, fiery, and interesting to the writers’ social issue megaphone. There’s got to be a way to Be Super Feminist or whatever without sucking all the life out of your main character. She’s not like that in *every* episode, but there are definitely those where you feel like you’re being hit on the head with a protest sign.

I hated them killing Mary, and I hated that they were setting up for Bash and Ms Stacy in season 4. I swear that’s what they were doing. I sensed it from the moment Mrs Lind says Bash has to find a new wife. The show was canceled, but already we’d had a sudden influx of significant scenes between Bash and Stacy that were nonexistent before Mary’s death, and these scenes were specifically themed around loss of loved ones, moving on, parenthood, and family. It was absolutely a set up. And given the incredible pace at which this show liked to tackle Social Issue after Social Issue, I have no doubt that “interracial marriage” was next on the list. Normally I wouldn’t care, except that it feels like Mary was killed in order to make room for this storyline! That’s my beef with it. I don’t think season 3 is all that well written, overall, to be honest.

But my biggest issue of all is with Ka’kwet. I remember reading about residential schools when I was a kid. They were horrifying. The show at least doesn’t mince how horrible it was. The introduction of Ka’kwet and her family was great. The inclusion of indigenous actors was great. The history is incredibly important. And then... we don’t even find out what happens to her. I read a bunch of people saying “That’s realistic! Those schools were terrible and letting her have a happy ending would have had white savior overtones and undermined how awful this was.” Perhaps if Anne with an E were a different kind of show, I’d agree. But everyone else got a satisfying conclusion. Even though Mary died, at least she found her happiness first, and her estranged son even comes back in the end to ask forgiveness at her grave and turn his life around. *Everyone* ends on a hopeful note, except the Mi’kmaq storyline, which ends with Ka’kwet imprisoned at school and separated from her desperate family. Even if you really believe the argument that “it’s realistic so it’s good,” the other issue is that that whole subplot was really short! It was suddenly introduced and had just got momentum when it fizzled out. I was SO confused in the final couple episodes because I could think about NOTHING but Ka’kwet and kept expecting news about her, one way or another, yet the show only wanted to talk about Anne & Gilbert, Diana and going to Queens, fricking Billy and Josie... Sorry, but it was a very, very bad look. I love Anne and Gil in the books, but when you put them up against the story of a 12 year old indigenous girl imprisoned by white people at a brainwashing school... I mean, how can you expect me to get all worked up over Anne’s note to Gil getting stuck under his boot when something much much larger is at stake?? Confusing. Exasperating. I am certain it’s this bad because of the cancellation, but I’m not super hot on the build up to it either.

Regarding Anne & Gil. I was confused through all three seasons about them. Their relationship did not remind me of what I remember from the books, but it’s possible I overlooked some things as a child, or just don’t remember it all. Anyway, I didn’t really care about their romance during the show. On the one hand, that’s good because it’d be a tragedy if Anne were spun into a romantic period chick flick. It’s not. But on the other, I can’t get excited about a character’s romantic journey if it’s underdeveloped. Not everyone may agree with me that it was underdeveloped, but I needed more - not even necessarily more romance, just more of what made Anne and Gil so magnetic to each other. I suppose it’s a moot point because in the books, it literally takes years before they even become close, and the show couldn’t wait that long. Plus they changed so many other things, why not this? That’s fine, but the why not spend more time of them too?

So... ultimately, I’m disappointed in this show. It’s not that it’s bad. It’s not. I enjoyed watching it, for the most part, though I had to struggle through some of the more Hallmark movie moments. It’s just not Anne. It had promise... it has some good scenes... but in changing so much, they lost a lot of what made the books magical. And a lot of the themes they took on appeared and then vanished, like Cole coming to terms with his sexuality and going to art school, and then only making cameos after that. (Though I highly appreciated that he went with Anne and comforted her when she returned to the orphanage.) It’s too bad. I don’t know how much other fans would agree with me - what I’ve seen online has mostly seemed positive. And it’s hard, because my overall opinion is a complicated “I feel positively towards this show but I’m also disappointed in it.”

But gotta be honest - I’d be much less disappointed if I hadn’t felt so let down with how Ka’kwet’s story disappeared. That I just can’t forgive.

[fineliines]

okay so before things get misconstrued, i have seen the post @pocmuzings posted and i have quite a lot to say at least to explain my side of the story. you guys can make the choice to believe me or not but everything on this post is the truth on my end. this is very long and i hope everyone takes the time to read it but it’s just a warning this is long.

first and foremost, you need to understand that i have never once in my entire life said the n word. i grew up in a household where i always knew the weight of that word and it’s heavy connotations my entire life; my mom, grandma and cousins always used the word despite being spanish because they were very racist and stereotyped the black community. i knew of that, i was young when they used the word (probably around elementary school age) and never spoke up because i was a child. however, i’ve always known it’s not the right word to say or is it my place to say it as a non-black poc. i’m unsure if the person sending the anon meant to say i was using the word or if it was my friend at the time in the post but i have never EVER said that word. i would never use that word, i’m not ignorant on it and have always known what it’s implications were.

secondly, the problematic friend in question was someone i knew in my real life. we went to high school together, we met through a mutual friend who looking back on it, that mutual friend sexually assaulted me at one point and BECAUSE of that incident and numerous other things that happened in that small friend group, i pulled away and found solace in this person. his name was cameron, he’s no longer in the rpc so i really don’t care about putting his name out there to help keep track while i write this out. to give more background on this, cameron wasn’t the kind of person i could simply “get rid of” like i could have if he’d been someone i met online. like i said, we went to high school together, we lived in the same town, we became INSEPERABLE-- i vacationed with him and his family on MULTIPLE occasions. my mom and his mom became friends, we spent holidays together, etc. this wasn’t someone i could write off. we met when i was around 15 years old and he was 17 and we stayed friends from me being 15 to around the age of me being 21... in fact, i believe our last outing together was my 21st birthday but that’s irrelevant. i am now 24. throughout the time that we were best friends, however, i got him into rping and we were in the rpc together for an extended period of time. cameron has always been extremely problematic and this was something i didn’t necessarily become aware of until later on in our friendship. we started rping together in american horror story roleplays which is where i first started and in general, those rp’s were very very problematic and dark; it was a completely different time in the rpc compared to now and i am 100% aware of that. 

cameron became notorious for causing drama wherever he went. in the ahs rp we were in, something happened between my character and someone else’s, anon hate was sent to the gossip blog or w/e about my character and it got to the point where i, myself, was being told to kill myself through anon hate because of whatever ship drama was happening. i was 15 years old and people on the internet were telling me to kill myself. cameron stepped in, defended me in the only way he knew how, started drama with the admins for not doing anything to stop the stuff being sent to me or help me and we got kicked out of the group as the solution to their problem. from that moment on, cameron simply never stopped causing problems and i often found myself getting dragged into things with him because we were friends and i stuck up for him because he usually stuck up for me. at some point as i got a little older, maybe 17/18, i can’t remember, me and him joined this subplot rp that this person who sent in the anon was running. yes, cameron and i became friends with the person, she was the admin, things were fine for a while and eventually, things in the group started getting slow so cameron wanted to leave and me, being the person i was at the time, followed him because he was my best friend. i remained somewhat friends with the anon but i always felt like things were strained between us BECAUSE cameron was always up to something; whether it was causing problems in the anon’s various groups she joined or simply leaving because he got bored or just being a general bully, befriending people and manipulating them and being ugly and problematic and racist. i can’t remember the anon ever talking to me about being uncomfortable with his actions because it was years ago and i’ll admit that at the time, it wasn’t important to me because i thought things were fine because her problems with cameron weren’t ever explicitly told TO me. i will admit that from the ages of 15-18, whenever cameron started drama or was problematic or did shitty things, i blindly followed him and never spoke up. i didn’t speak up because i felt like he helped me and defended me and PROTECTED me from my assaulter in real life and all the anon hate i got from this group that i owed him my loyalty. again, please keep in mind, i’ve been friends with him since we were both in high school, he wasn’t someone i could simply write off or get rid of at the time.

i started realizing he wasn’t a good person when i got a little older. i decided to open up a group that was based off college kids and it was based off the college i currently attend, ucf--- genuinely i don’t remember the url of the group but @wonclerland was in it with me because we were friends. cameron joined, obviously and at the time that i was admining, he didn’t do much. people joined who i’d met through a previous rp and to be honest, that group of people and i were 100% a really stupid clique of mean people. they were really mean and petty and ugly and i never said anything to them or about what they said because i wanted to fit in and again, i admit to that. some girl joined the group who went by the name athena or it was her alias, i don’t really know but apparently, she had beef with that group of people who joined and they claimed she was racist but could never properly pull up proof to show me or whatever. as an admin, i was caught in the middle trying to hear every side of the story. cameron befriended athena and all hell broke loose.  i ended up going to playlist live for a day and mistakenly, i had asked one of the people in the little clique of mine to run the main while i was gone for the day. in the span of the 8 hours i was gone, the clique had posted athena’s unfollow despite her not wanting to quit and blah blah blah. i shut down the group because i didn’t know what to do and it make me anxious and stressed. cameron and athena formed a group of friends FROM that group and started to go on the girl who posted the unfollow’s instagram and comment hateful, bodyshaming things. they went as far as editing a picture of the girl on photoshop to look like shrek. i saw this all unfold and realized what kind of person cameron was and decided to TRY to sever ties with him. multiple times after this, i attempted to call him out on his ugly behavior on the tail end of our friendship. we would get into really violent fights in person and he’d come to target where i worked at the time to scream at me and yell at me in person. i called him out for being racist and problematic and using the n word- in return, he took down an entire roleplay we worked on together because he made all the graphics and left the page empty and blank while i was at work and couldn’t do anything about it. him and his boyfriend would call me names, made fun of me when i confided in them and came out as bisexual and told me i was just looking for attention and many other fucking instances where i was made to feel like shit. every time i called him out about stuff he did or said at all, i had to deal with abuse from in person and because i didn’t know how to approach the situation or deal with it, i let him get away with treating other people in the rpc like trash.

cameron and i grew apart after he quit the rpc. he ran out of aliases to use to destroy groups and i was working on actively trying to get out of the wake of destruction him and the friend group that yes, i followed around, left behind. i put forth the effort to work on learning about racism more in depth, i went to therapy to deal with the assaults and stuff i was going through and i used writing to cope with it and found a solid group of people that were actually decent. i admit that i was part of the problem by not saying anything to cameron, i was terrified of him and losing the only friend i had in my real life at the time. i know what he did hurt a lot of people in the rpc, including now the anon, and i realize that my silence until much later was not of any help at all. my activism now isn’t performative--- i’ve tried so hard over the last few years to learn and educate myself on the blm movement and i’m still learning every day. my intentions and heart have never been malicious and i deeply apologize to you, oksi, if you read this because i know it’s you that sent that anon. i’m sorry that my silence and lack of maturity and balls to confront cameron hurt you and i’m sorry for being a part of the problem. i’m sorry to whoever knew me back then and saw the people i surrounded myself with and that i was so focused on fitting in and belonging to a group (even a really fucking shitty one) stop me from speaking up when it mattered the most. i wish that this had been addressed to me privately so i could’ve talked to her and heard her side of the story but i understand that she probably felt uncomfortable and unsafe given our past and who she used to associate me with. i do not and will not ever stand for racism, i’m working every single fucking day to learn and spread resources and educate myself and to not overstep my boundaries or talk over the black community because it’s NOT my place. i can’t speak for the other person mentioned in this post and i hope she comes forward if she feels inclined to and tell her side of the story but this is mine. holding myself accountable for being a part of the problem. 

i’m sorry if any of this upset anyone and if this means i’m going to lose friendships or mutuals over this. i understand and it’s fine. i’m not looking to victimize myself at all and i’m admitting to the fact that i was complacent and silent and i’m really sorry. i’m not like that anymore and i’m always one of the first people to call horrible shit out, probably too much because i spent so much time NOT saying anything out of fear. and if you read any of this, thank you? i don’t know what this is going to do but i hope it helps shed light on my side of the story. again, oksi, i’m really fucking sorry- you don’t have to forgive me at all and i don’t expect you to but i hope you’ll at least hear this out and try to understand i’ve changed and i actively try every single day to be better than i used to be. thank you and sorry again.