#the way that mad and stubborn are said in the same breath as lovely… they’re all good qualities to him

[arithmonym]

no one talk to me i’m thinking about Them again

[libraincarnate]

astrology notes: 19 ☼𓂃𓃗𓂃

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences based on astrology. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!

˚♡₊ pisces & them not knowing if something they remembered was from one of their day dreams or an actual dream they had.

˚♡₊ moon or chiron in the 2nd house can indicate an emotional eater. they can be someone who eats for comfort or just because they're bored.

˚♡₊ virgos are known to be judgmental towards other people & things but they’re judgmental towards themselves as well, being that they typically struggle with perfectionism. for this reason, they probably cringe at themselves and the things they’ve done quite often. they can be quite regretful and hard on themselves when they make a mistake. but virgo, you guys are imperfect just like everyone else who has lived and died. and although it may be easier said than done, breathe, live, and just be. try to view as your mistakes as an opportunity to learn & improve.

˚♡₊ asteroid juno (3) in 4th the house can make people think you’re the type to bring home to meet their mom/family. 

˚♡₊ uranus in the 2nd, 5th, 8th, and 11th house can cause the native to feel frustrated and experience disturbance in those areas of life that are represented by those aforementioned houses. that’s because uranus is a planet that represents constant change and unpredictability & those houses are fixed houses that represent exactly what the name suggests, it’s fixed, it desires stability and regularity.

˚♡₊ capricorns are known to be controlling/bossy but aquarius tends to have those characteristics too. i’ve often seen it happen with their friends, like they can be the leader of the group and tell people what to do or they make decisions for others. i guess it’s the saturn influence since we know that cap is ruled by saturn & aquarius is traditionally ruled by saturn too.

˚♡₊ those with gemini moon are the type to laugh at themselves while they’re crying. and if they’re not, then they’re definitely going through it because it’s often hard for them to take themselves seriously like gemini risings, but in this case it’s more focused on their emotions.

˚♡₊ those with their venus aspecting saturn could be the type that always has a loved one/former loved one, like an ex, coming back even if it’s 6 years later. the person that tries to come back may realize what they had a little too late, they may realize that the loyalty & love you gave them was one of a kind and it’s hard for them to find that same or similar level of stability and commitment elsewhere.

˚♡₊ scorpio risings are lowkey mad funny because of their gemini in the 8th house, but especially if they have planets like sun, mercury, or moon there. & because it’s in the 8th house, it’s not something that many people know about them except for those that are close to them or those they have 8th house synastry with.

^ but when it comes to those with a gem rising or gemini in the 10th house, everyone thinks/knows they’re funny. 

˚♡₊ uranus dominants or those with uranus in aspect to mercury/neptune may really enjoy reading/watching sci-fi & dystopian books/movies or tv shows.

˚♡₊ taurus moons are typically blessed with the ability to remain calm & grounded but their emotions can be a bit stubborn and linger for a while. it may take some time for them to get over a breakup or separation from someone they really love.

˚♡₊ those with chiron, pluto, or mercury retrograde in the 5th house or 10th house could have stage fright. they may dislike doing presentations in school or at work. if they have to do something in the presence of others they’d rather it be in a group. but even if they are in a group, like a small choir, they’d prefer to stand in the back or behind others.

˚♡₊ the house where aries or mars falls in your chart can show you the type of men you usually attract:

in the 1st house, if you’re a girl you may attract men who you’d describe as the male version of you, or men who are childish or younger than you.

in the 3rd house it could be your classmates, those in your neighborhood, or those that you see as more of a brother, even if they’re not related to you. for this reason, you may be quick to friend zone them.

in the 6th house it could be the men at your place of work who are always hitting on you or trying to flirt. or men that have an unexplainable desire to take care of you, they may see you as a damsel in distress.

in the 10th house it could be older men who are already established or successful. maybe you easily attract sugar daddies or men that just want to provide for you whether that be money, opportunities, or guidance.

in the 11th house your male friends may be the ones crushing on you or you attract men from all walks of life, meaning you might be "everyone's" type. even if you're not the type that some of these men may usually go for, they could be willing to ignore that when it comes to you.

in the 12th house you may have a lot of secret admirers and men that often day dream about you but won't tell you.

the attraction could be stronger or more noticeable with mars making aspects to planets/asteroids like venus or eros or with venus or eros also in aries. & due to the characteristics of mars, these men may find you intimidating and they could be a bit scared to approach you at first, or they could come on to you a bit aggressively, or they just try too hard to get your attention.

if you read this until the end i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.

[vivgst]

COD Headcanons

I mean they're not hc it's just shit I think they say/do but I needed the title okay?

As I previously said this is just my silly little opinion, I would love to read yours but don't take this too personal and I'm saying this cause Imma bout to write SHIT about two characters and I'm scared cause they're loved by the whole fandom.

Okay thats all thanks<3333

Let's start with my favorite piece of shit, shall we?

Alejandro Vargas

I don't care what yall say this man is a CHEATER and he would make you feel guilty about it too because you're not "meeting his needs".

“I’m not sexist???? We cannot do the same things, it's basic biology!”

Maybe he's good in bed, let's give him that.

Alain meza said he loved Rudy so let's assume he's bi, uh... he wouldn't admit that shit, not in a million years, probably would get offended if you even dare to suggest it.

He doesn’t argue to fix things, he argues to repeat how much in the right he is, I feel like he NEVER admits he’s in the wrong, he seems very stubborn.

Now can we address that fucking temper of his? Breathe mf, no ones gonna die if you stop yelling for a second.

I feel like he must’ve had A LOT of trouble when he just joined the army because of his anger issues, think about it for a moment: someone with a higher rank yelling at him and you think he just took it? I doubt it.

MUST HAVE fought with Valeria more than once cause that temper of hers is just as shitty.

I promise I don’t hate him, well I do but he’s one of my favs, I don’t know how to explain this bye.

Simon Riley

He’s very chill I love him <3

I think of him like a very nostalgic man, he thinks a lot about his past, past lovers, past experiences, when he was new in the army, you know? Not in a “I’m still traumatized” way, he’s just nostalgic.

He’s absent minded, he’s always daydreaming (when he’s not doing something important ofc).

Thin and I don’t fucking care, THAT MAN IS THIN, you can even see it sometimes!!!! He’s got chicken legs, I love them.

He really seems to enjoy dad jokes.

He cares a lot about his teammates and I love it, it’s very cute.

Can we talk about how everyone put him as a fucking beast in bed? I don't see it, I think he's ruthless when he needs to but I don't think this applies when it comes to sex, he suffered a lot too and sadly I know too well that sex is pretty fucking terrible after rape, especially because you feel like you're gonna hurt the person you're having sex with so...

John MacTavish

Typa guy everyone loves, even your dad and your grandma's always saying how handsome he is.

Maybe he was bullied bc of his accent but he just told them to go fuck themselves.

Caring and loving, buys his partner flowers and their favorite candy/chocolates/desserts.

Remembers anniversaries, birthdays, medical or school appointments.

Too charismatic and funny.

Kyle Garrick

He’s too good for his own good… I feel like he always end up going out with INSANE people, the jealous type, they’re always bitching and making him angry and stressed but he forgives them cause he’s an angel.

Very sweet, loves cooking for people he loves.

Kinda family oriented.

He smells good, I can almost smell his perfumeeeeee he smells good, he spends MONEY on it too.

Even the devil is afraid of him when he’s mad.

I think he's very private about his life in general, doesn't like to vent his problems.

Hot lover.

John Price

Now this man is a FATHER, my fucking dad I swear.

He seems pretty conservative to me, not in a bad way like he wants you to be his personal maid and slave, more like he wants to date to marry, hates casual sex.

Loves whiskey.

Dad energy, he would be so caring and loving with his child, he would give that baby the moon.

I don’t think he would love to date a younger woman, not a woman in her twenties at least, I think he would be into women his age.

If you feel disappointment by that, maybe you could try fixing your relationship with your dad, sweetheart ;).

Hates confrontation and loves to work things out.

Let’s not talk about how sex with be with the old man, okay? Thanks.

He's not that old, I get that but he looks like he's fucking 68.

Phillip Graves

He looks kinda daddy in that pic, not gonna lie.

“How come you don’t want to have sex? What about me? Have you thought about how that makes me feel? If your head hurts, sex would help but you never consider me, I’ll sleep in the couch”.

A selfish, self-centered bitch, only thinks about himself.

Feeling good having sex with him? Aw baby, try again cause this mf would use you like a damn toy and he couldn’t care less about your feelings or how much pain you’re in.

Cheater, he wouldn’t even be quiet about it. “Oh you want to divorce me? And where are you gonna go, sugar? You’re nothing without me”.

Doesn’t fucking know where the clit is, he doesn’t have a fucking clue.

Of course straight, loves to be white and American.

“Of course I can say whatever I want, I’m from America I have freedom of speech”.

Fuck you graves.

Rodolfo Parra

Perfect.

He seems so sweet and kind and considerate I love him.

Smart as hell, probably got the best grades when he was a kid.

Doesn’t hate anyone, no one hates him.

Loves nature and animals but he can’t enjoy it too much cause he is always busy.

Dreams about having a big family and a dog (a golden, probably).

Forget about having rough sex UNLESS he’s mad (fr mad like losing his shit but that doesn’t happen frequently).

Could be a teacher if he wasn’t in the army, he’s very patient and can explain things easily.

Have a pretty smile.

Valeria Garza aka MAMI

Feels like she needs to prove something, she was underestimated for so long in the army that now she’s always trying to prove to herself how badass and good at her job she is.

Almost no one knows the real Valeria, her favorite things, music taste, if she prefers cold or hot, coffee or tea etc.

She hates cold weather with all her MIGHT.

Likes to smoke only when she’s stressed.

Likes animals but thinks they’re so much work and she doesn’t have the time.

Did drugs once and hated it.

Feels guilty when she spots a church but she WOULD NEVER admit this shit to anyone.

Used to the worst of life so she didn’t like when someone is kind with her, is like “tf am I supposed to do with it???” but she gets used to it eventually.

I don’t think she has anger issues but def she doesn’t fucking know how to regulate her emotions, she lets stress take over her.

She would love a narcowife, kind of woman who wears a lot of beachy dresses and have a shitty personality like her (like Kate del Castillo in La Reina del Sur or in Bad Boys, exactly that kind of narcowife) (I’m kinda projecting, sorry lol).

I can’t picture her with a sweet girl and I think a sweet girl wouldn’t be able to handle that woman.

She keeps arguing even though she realized she’s in the wrong.

She wouldn't be able to spend a lot of time with her S.O, she's such a workaholic.

I don't think she likes to wear men clothes.

I don't think she hates kids but I can't picture her with kids.

Wouldn't divorce once she's married.

Btw I didn’t want to make this too sexual bc lately this fandom is full of just that, too much smut, too much violence and rape in the smut and it’s so graphic that I feel I’m watching instead of reading wtf, its uncomfortable and I honestly can’t picture the characters being that violent and vile.

As I said in my previous hcs… these guys are surrounded by violence, stress and blood every day, I personally don’t think they wanna get home to torture their partners (well, maybe graves cause he is a piece of shit that mf. Okay kidding, not even Graves is that much of a bastard).

[girlboypersonthingy]

can I request a list of like green flags and red flags for each of the characters in voltron? btw I love your writing:)

Hello friendo, thank you sm! Thanks for the request, I adore this idea. Also…Sorry y’all, I was posting like every other day for two weeks and then I hopped off for like two months. Oof life is really life-ing rn. I honestly chose to write this prompt before a lot of other requests bc it seems like an easy and short thing to bust out quickly. I swear, I will get to the rest eventually 🩵 keep sending in requests if you’d like! And as always… ENJOY~

KEITH ❤️

Red Flags ���

TERRIBLE AT COMMUNICATING. We all know Keith is stubborn and easily overwhelmed with a short temper. He doesn’t really know how to talk to people without getting angry. He feels that bc he has a hard time explaining exactly what he means, people never understand him and that makes him mad.

Bro isn’t scared of anything…and that low key scares everyone else. Like…who isn’t afraid of anything? The whole team has tried sooooo hard to figure out what will get Keith to jump out of his skin and scream like a child but to no avail… Boy just doesn’t flinch, doesn’t care, couldn’t care less about bugs and rodents and clowns and heights or anything like that.

Wears his gloves in the shower sometimes. Like wtf ???

Green Flags ✅

Also bc he is not afraid of anything, boy will protect his friends/family/partner SO HARD. He will verbally AND physically tear someone apart just for looking at you the wrong way. Very protective and caring but in a good way ya know?

Actually very selfless and not self-centered in the slightest. Keith is very giving and helpful, despite his tough exterior, he’s very caring, observant and considerate. He’ll give the shirt off his back to someone in need. He’s always down to help others. Ugh Sweet heart ❤️‍🔥

Has a sick ass space wolf that will also protect you like COSMO IS A MAJOR PLUS OKAY BIG GREEN FLAG DOGGO

LANCE 💙

Red Flags 🚩

Obvi his biggest red flag is how flirty he is. Boy will flirt with anything that breaths and that can get really annoying sometimes and affect the rest of the team.

Jealous AS FUCK. Like the petty jealous type. Lance is the kind of guy to pretend he has a partner back home just bc some alien girl he was flirting with said she had a partner already. He’s like “OH YEAH? Wow cool me too, same same, yeah….” But homie’s ego is a bit sore now…

Lies a lot. Lance just panics sometimes and tells a lie. He knows it’s wrong and he always feels guilty after lying to someone but it always just slips out. His mouth moves faster than his brain most the time.

Green Flags ✅

THE BEST HUGGER/CUDDLER OMFGGGGGG. Lance is the best hugger and cuddle buddy ever, period, end of story, try to change my mind. His long arms always stretch fully around the recipient’s torso and he squeezes tight enough to make you feel warm but not smothered. Usually will rest his chin on the other person’s head if they’re short enough (so Pidge obvi).

Very aware of other’s moods/body language/tone of voice. Everyone thinks Lance is “the dumb one” but he’s actually very in tune with what’s going on in the moment, what’s going on around him. I think he can tell how others feel the second he sees them. Good intuition kinda thing. An empath for sure.

Very considerate and often remembers the little things about people. Does he remember what he learned in class just a couple days ago? Pffft heck no! Does he remember everyone’s birthday, every year and get them a very thoughtful gift? HELL YEAHH I LOVE THIS SWEET BOY OMFG 🩵

SHIRO 🖤

Red Flags 🚩

Honestly…idfk Shiro is so perf. Perfect baby boy all the way

Maybe he could seem too nice at first…? Like when someone is nice but ur like “are you for real? Or are you fake and evil and you’re hiding something?” I think Shiro could be perceived as being fake nice at first.

Omg I feel like Shiro is one of those “ oh no, that looks delicious but I can’t. I’m watching my carbs.” YOU KNOW SHIRO IS A GYM DUDE WHO COUNTS HIS CALORIES PLZ

Green Flags ✅

ALSO AN A+ HUGGER. Imagine those big ass arms holding you so softly and so close to his big, warm body. Omg so comforting, so relaxing. Often gives a gently squeeze just before letting go and pulling away. Ugh 😩❤️‍🔥

Literally the most trustworthy man in the universe. Will defend his friends, loved ones, and planet until the end of time. Shiro would die before revealing any secrets you’ve asked him to keep. The best person to vent to bc he’ll never tell another soul about it. He’s like a personal diary

Shiro is sooooo patient. Definitely the most patient one on the team. He really does take his own advice…ya know, patience yields focus 😌 very sweet, calm man. We love Shiro

PIDGE 💚

Red Flags 🚩

GIRL WILL WORK HERSELF TO DEATH PLZ GO CHECK UP ON HER, BRING HER FOOD AND WATER, GENTLY FORCE HER INTO BED SHE NEEDS SLEEP.

Lowkey kinda moody and can get snappy very easily. Pidge is a sweet heart and very smart and a good team player but she’s also stubborn and will yell to get her point across or make herself heard (she’s an Aries…what’d you expect?)

Sometimes very conceited and braggy about how smart she is. Like yeah Pidge, we know you’re a genius and you could code in your sleep. WE GET IT. UR SMART. GEEZ 😒

Green Flags ✅

Pidge is so baby. Yeah, she can get snappy and braggy sometimes but…SHES SO BABY PLZ FORGIVE HER. She’s just young and stressed okay? Give her a break. She’ll apologize eventually with puppy dog eyes and a soft voice and while she looks adorable, she is being sincere and really wants to resolve this.

Very loyal and determined. I mean look how hard she searched and fought for her dad and brother. She won’t stop for anything or anyone once she has her mind set. Pidge Will never leave you behind and will always turn back to help someone in need.

Androgynous royalty. Pidge is soooo chill about her gender and identity. We love a confident babe 🏳️‍🌈💚

HUNK 💛

Red Flags 🚩

Boy is too scared sometimes. I think Hunk has really bad anxiety and it’s not the anxiety that is the red flag, it’s how he copes with it…which he doesn’t. Hunk let’s his anxiety get the best if him sometimes…but he’s trying.

Honestly…does Hunk really have any other red flags??? Baby boy is so sweet idk 🤷🏻

Over eats to the point of getting sick sometimes…and never learns his lesson. (Me asf)

Green Flags ✅

THE SWEETEST MOST CONSIDERATE AND THOUGHTFUL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE OMFG WHAT A SWEET HEART 😩💛 honestly just a very good guy. We love Hunk.

Obvi his cooking skills!!! Can cook for any occasion, on any cooking surface, in any conditions. Can cook so many different dishes from so many rich cultures around the world! So talented. His food always hits.

THE ABSOLUTE BEST at cheering others up. Soooo funny and silly and kind and relatable. He tries so hard to brighten others’ days when they need it. Will stop what he’s doing just to go cheer up a friend or loved one and watch them smile again.

MATT 🧡

Red Flags 🚩

Interrupts A LOT. In any given conversation, he will interrupt and talk over someone else at least once every minute. Can get really annoying sometimes but in his defense, if he waits too long to speak up, he’ll just totally forget what he was gonna say.

Like Lance, I think Matt would be overly flirty and act like a Fuck boy sometimes. Like bro sit your nerd ass down, that person is SOOO out of your league plz chill.

Can not take anything seriously (unless it comes to his family or his or anyone else’s safety) but day to day, Matt makes so many dumb and inappropriate jokes at the worst times. Ugh 😒

Green Flags ✅

Very brotherly to everyone he considers a friend or family. Protective, constantly checking up on others, making sure they have eaten, asking if they need anything from him. He cares a lot. Bonus points bc he’s a very good brother to his actual sibling too. Aww Pidge and Matt are sibling goals. 🥹

HOT AS FUCK NO MATTER HIS HAIR STYLE/LENGTH. You can fight me on this. Matt is gorg and so is his hair at every single moment throughout the show.

Extremely accepting and open minded. Matt treats everyone he meets equally and never seems phased when he meets others so different from himself. He may ask some questions for the sake of his own curiosity, but would never pass judgment on another person.

[sadhours]

Billy and Steve kinda drunk at Tina’s stupid party, decide to smoke a j together and end up jerking each other off because you know, they’re not gay and anything more would just be too gay 😉

I really fucking love these two, thank you for this request.

cw: 18+ minors dni, smut, they uh jerk each other off, it’s not gay I swear, drug and alcohol use

💟💟💟💟💟

“She said I’m bullshit,” Steve mumbles, “That we’re bullshit.”

Why the fuck he’s saying this to the new guy who stalked up to him with his chest puffed as their first interaction, he isn’t sure. But it’s been a few hours since Nancy basically broke up with him and left with Byers. And Steve was just gonna go home. He hadn’t drank before then, planned on staying relatively sober for the night but that went out the window when he passed a bottle of vodka on his way out. Drank about half of it before he stumbled downstairs in the basement and found who other than Billy Hargrove, Hawkins new Keg King as the fucks he used to call his friends gloated about seconds after Hargrove took the record out from under Steve.

Hargrove was by himself. Sat on the couch Tina’s mother decided was out of fashion and retired to the finished basement. Looks like it’s mostly meant for storage. Loads of boxes. Steve was coming down here to be alone. Get a second to breathe. Asked Billy what the hell he was down here for and turns out, for the same thing. Then he held up a rather fat joint and asked King Steve to join him.

Half a joint and the rest of the vodka bottle later, Steve’s venting to the new King Asshole.

“Girls’ are bullshit,” Billy says with a strained voice, holding the skunky weed smoke in his lungs. Exhales. Looks cool and it annoys Steve, cause he used to care about looking cool and he wishes that didn’t change. At least he didn’t hurt inside this much then. Billy passes the joint back, “They’re only good for one thing and honestly, they ain’t that fucking super at that either.”

Steve’s inclined to agree, mostly out of hurt. Maybe shit would’ve been easier for him if he did to Nancy what he’s done to all the other girls he’s been with. Unfortunately, he liked her.

“She wasn’t,” he huffs, “I mean— Nancy’s great.”

Billy snorts, leans back and wraps an arm around Steve’s shoulders. He smells like some musky cologne, beer and cigarettes. But Steve kind of likes looking at him and he’s not sure why.

“Bitch dumped you,” Billy whispers, leaning close to Steve like this is some big secret, “You’re allowed to be mad at her. Granted, I don’t know what the fuck you did but King Steve, you’re a senior in high school. Bitches come and go.”

Steve huffs again and sits back, ‘cause he can’t argue without explaining a whole bunch of weird, confusing shit he doesn’t even completely understand himself to a complete stranger. He rubs his palms against his eyes, wants them to stop stinging. Billy’s being nice now but again, he’s a stranger. And if Tommy’s clinging to him like a stubborn barnacle, he’s probably not all that kind. There was something in his eyes when he stared Steve down earlier that was scary. Because Steve didn’t understand it. If he wanted to kick Steve’s ass, he could’ve but he didn’t. Just stared at him like he wanted something out Steve but Steve still can’t figure out what.

“Sorry— I shouldn’t be whining about this shit to you,” Steve laughs, awkwardly, “I don’t even know you.”

“But I know you,” Billy replies with a smirk.

“Y-you do?” Steve looks back to Billy with hesitation, perhaps even a little fearful.

Billy nods slowly, lips pursed with the joint hanging from them. Plucks the paper from his lips and passes it back to Steve as he says, “You’re all these boring fucks care about. King Steve is the only thing they can talk about. Barely been here but I know all about you.”

Steve likes this fact but he also feels guilty that he likes that, because he isn’t supposed to care about the whole popularity thing anymore. He even blushes hearing it, shakes his head and takes the joint. Takes a small pull and passes it back because he’s already too stoned and school’s gonna be hell tomorrow.

“Yikes,” he says and Billy laughs, cruel and deep in his belly and it makes Steve feel uneasy. But he likes sitting on this couch down here, hidden behind stacks of boxes. Labeled things like XMAS DECORATIONS and TINA’S SUMMER CLOTHES.

“They like you still,” Billy whispers, smoothes his fingers down the back of Steve’s neck. Gives him chills but he doesn’t move.

“Wanna forget about her?” Billy asks then, “Just for right now?”

“Yes,” Steve chokes out in spite of how his brain’s firing off about how this is weird and he should be getting home. But mom and dad are out of town again. And he does wanna forget about Nancy. Wants to get this hurt out of his chest.

Billy’s hand drops to Steve’s lap, he pulls another drag from the joint and exhales the smoke in Steve’s face. His hands barely moving but Steve can feel it. And maybe it’s the smoke making his head feel all fuzzy and his body feel all warm. His dick’s getting hard. Because Billy Hargrove is feeling him up over his Levi’s.

His palm pushes a little harder on Steve’s crotch, his eyes look straight ahead as he finishes off the joint. Pinches the cherry between his fingers before he tosses it to the floor. Steve watches it and then looks straight ahead like Billy does. Next, Billy grabs Steve’s wrist and pulls his hand to Billy’s tight jeans. Drops it in his lap. And Steve’s filled with a curiosity he’s never felt before. He starts rubbing Billy’s crotch. He kind of wants to look at Billy’s face but he’s scared to. Keeps his eyes trained on a rolled up rug in the corner of the room.

The pressure of Billy’s palm on his cock feels nice. It’s easy to focus on it. Weed’s always made Steve a little frisky. Everything just feels hotter. Kissing feels better, eating pussy is funner and it makes his cock like, a million times more sensitive. So he’s fully torqued in his jeans. Feels like Billy is too. Which weirdly enough, turns Steve on even more and his hips kind of roll up into Billy’s touch. And it has to be the weed that makes Steve whine. He’s trying to ignore that it’s Billy’s hand on him but he can’t, really. Gives himself a moment to glance down at his hand on Billy’s lap and finds that Billy has some pretty seriously defined abs. And it’s real weird that he likes them. Definitely the weed.

Soon enough, Billy’s unbuttoning Steve’s jeans and Steve moves to help get them down his thighs, along with his underwear. His cock pops out, bounces and hangs. Billy’s also pulling his pants and underwear down and then he’s spitting on his hand and wrapping his fingers around Steve’s cock.

Steve whimpers from the wet touch, eyes rolling back in his head as his hips stutter up. Billy’s voice is quiet and strained when he asks, “Thinking about her?”

“No,” Steve confesses, looks down at where Billy’s languidly stroking him and it’s odd seeing another man’s hand wrapped around his cock. Not odd enough to stop this, though. He returns the favor, spits a glob of saliva into his palm and smears it over Billy’s thick cock. Squeezes at the base, curls his hand on the upstroke. Billy lets out a sweet, breathy noise that Steve likes a lot. Different than a girls’ moan but just as pretty, he thinks.

Steve gasps when Billy squeezes his cock a little tighter and speeds up his strokes. Quick and firm. Steve mirrors it with his own hand on Billy. Steve stares down at his own crotch, Billy does the same. The pair of ‘em gasping and moaning softly. Steve comes first, a mess on his thighs and Billy’s fist. And the blonde strokes him through it. Steve’s whimpering and it’s pretty damn pathetic the way his hips cant up in the air. Billy’s following suit soon after, jerking his hips up as he fucks Steve’s fist.

The boys sit back, hands loose around softening dicks as they pant. Steve looks down at the mess in his lap, not sure how to clean it. He glances around the room but there’s not much in here. Just the couch and boxes. So Steve leans forward, shucks off his blazer and uses that to soak up the cooling cum on his thighs and hand. Hands to Billy before pulling up his briefs and pants. And this whole interaction has sobered him up. The realization that he and the new guy have just jerked each other off in Tina’s fucking basement hits him hard and Steve needs to leave. So he does. Without a word to the guy.

Worst part, at basketball practice the next day. Both of them wildly hungover. Billy crowds behind Steve and says, “Harrington, right? Heard you used to run this school, that true?” like he didn’t just jerk him off the night before.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 27

chapter 46:

1. WOLFSTAR MY BELOVED

2. god i hate that james is having a lapse of time. but also, i LOVE that zar is including their disabilities throughout the fic and not just making it a one-off thing

3. black brothers angst is hitting like a freight train

4. “"The plan was always to take James' place, but I'd be lying if I said the words didn't leave my lips a little easier knowing that Sirius would choke on them."” jesus christ

5. regulus and remus friendship means so much to me. i love that when regulus asked remus the worst thing he did, remus trusted him enough to tell him

6. LILY AND DORCAS FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!

7. also, i love the chaos dorcas knows she’s gonna cause chaos by breaking people out

8. “Lily fucking Evans, everyone.” -dorcas

and that’s the woman i’m in love with!!!

9. AWWW marlene showed up on dorcas’ doorstep!! i love them so much!!

10. “Regulus wonders if James still thinks he's beautiful.” jesus christ, what a way to start a pov

11. “"I didn't break up with you," James snaps. "I didn't exactly get the chance, seeing as we weren't together in the first place."

"Yes, we were," Regulus whispers. In his head, they were. In his heart, they still are.”

oof that fucking HURTS like a punch to the gut. i don’t know how reg is able to survive james being that mad at him

12. god, james is so mad thinking that reg lied about wanting to marry him, and reg meant it 10000%

13. 😶 reg just proposed, right? i read that right??

14. “”He stops, swallows, then gives Remus a soft smile. "You can say it. You probably shouldn't, but—"

"Come back," Remus whispers, like it's a sin, and Sirius' breath hitches.”

i haven’t cried in like five chapters, but this had me SOBBING. i love wolfstar more than the air i breathe

15. “"Do you know that you're the only person who has asked me that? Everyone else—they all just accepted it, what I'm going to do, and there was no one who even—I mean, no one even…argued, or protested. Maybe it's because I'm so stubborn and they know it wouldn't get them anywhere, but—but no one tried. And maybe it makes me selfish, but I'm so glad that you have."”

STOP IM CRYING HARDER NOW WTF THIS HURTS

16. “"I'd die for them, but I'd live for you."” YOOO THIS HURTS

17. “"No, no, I want to hear about this secret fantasy of yours to have sex on or against household appliances. Do tell me more, sweetheart. Give me all the filthy details."”

18. “"I'm partial to the kitchen table. It'd be nice, I think, splaying you out there and enjoying you like a meal. Wouldn't that be nice?"”

remus is so unhinged 😭😭😭

19. 🥰 dorlene mornings after sex

20. awww dorcas is cutting marlene’s hair. this is so intimate

21. god i’m so worried for marlene in this arena

22. james being a big meanie (i don’t blame him) and regulus breaking down and crying and james being like 😶😧😦😟 no! why are you doing that! stop!!

23. “James lasted ten years dealing with Regulus hating him, and being unkind, and ignoring him. Regulus didn't even last five days.”

awww reg is just a big softie

24. 😦 uh oh. dad and pop are fighting. they’re having the screaming match of the century

25. god, this whole fight is reminding me of when effie called regulus gentle.

26. “Not will you marry me, because James can't, but would you marry me, if you could?” i-

27. honorary authors notes from zar:

“oh, and *bursts into tears* THEY'RE ENGAGED 😭

well, okay, not really—but tell that to regulus, who will ABSOLUTELY be running with this new information lmaooo. this is the same man calling james his ex when they weren't even together. james just stating he WOULD marry regulus if he could—yes, regulus' brain has immediately decided they're engaged now. james, babe, you really should have seen that coming 💀

regulus: would you marry me if you could

james: yeah

regulus: so what im hearing is we're engaged now. we just got engaged. that's what this was.

james: ...that's...not... why do i even bother trying to keep up with you? sure, whatever you say!”

[cjsinkythoughts]

Not Your Captain

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 1695

Warnings: Falcon and the Winter Soldier Spoilers!!!!! Lots of Angst in this one, guys, lotta feels, some Fluff to counterbalance it, but mostly Angst, Cursing

A/N: This is Part Two to my previous FATWS writing, His Only Contact. FATWS SERIES STERLIST HERE! This one is from Reader’s perspective and gives you a bit more about Reader’s backstory. There will be multiple parts coming out in the next day or two based just on this new episode because damn. It was loaded!  Due to this and my workload this past week, I haven’t been able to post the first chapter of my College!AU, Erased From the Stars, but I promise it’s coming! This’ll be my main focus for the weekend though! Expect more parts in the next 24 hours! I’ll be making a masterlist for this particular project in that time, too! Taglists are open! Please contact me if you want to be tagged! Thank you and please enjoy, loves! (Not beta’d, so sorry for mistakes!)

AGAIN: SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

The moment you saw it on TV, you knew you had to get to Bucky. You weren’t planning on leaving until the next day, but there was no way you weren’t going. So you caught the first plane you could from the base you were staying at.

You’re feelings were all over the place. Steve had been your best friend for more than the past decade. You were the one there when he first woke up. You were the one to help him get situated. You were the one to help him whenever he needed, to go over to his little place in DC when he was having problems, like the time he thought he was having an asthma attack when it was an anxiety attack or when you had to help him find a new phone after he accidentally broke his.

You were that close to falling in love with him. But life went the other way and, in a weird twist of fate, almost as if the universe wanted to spare you of the heartbreak it knew would come if you gave your heart to the dashing captain, you ended up tripping over your own feet for someone else.

Someone you would never tell.

He was the last thing you had left of Steve and you couldn’t ruin that because of your stupid feelings. And you couldn’t ruin the relationship you had now because it was working. He trusted you, more than anyone else. He trusted you because Steve trusted you and you wouldn’t dare break that trust.

You just hoped, with everything going down in relation to the shield - to his legacy - that you’d be able to keep that promise you made to yourself.

You were in front of his door early in the morning - around four - hesitating to knock. It didn’t take long for him to respond the moment your fist did meet the door.

He looked…tired. You wished, oh how you wished, that you could do more. Anything more. He insisted you helped him plenty already; he claimed he never had nightmares when you were by his side. But it wasn’t enough. Not for what he’d been through. You felt as though you were merely putting a bandaid over a bullet wound.

His chocolate locks were short, above his ears. You could remember how hesitant yet eager he was about doing it. It was difficult to not cut his ear off because he kept moving in anticipation. You would know: you cut it. Those blue eyes that made you trip in the first place were outlined by thick lashes, dark ebony bags beneath them, making the azure pop. He was shirtless, as he usually was when sleeping (or at least trying to sleep), his dog tags resting against his sternum. 

You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping. His eyes were bloodshot as if he was watching TV for too long and his hair was less messy than it would be if he actually slept.

The moment his eyes found yours, his plump, chapped lips turned up into the grin he reserved for you and he was pulling you in. Your reaction was instantaneous, your arms slipping around his waist, your chin resting on his shoulder as he found home in the crook of your neck.

He was touch deprived. You knew this, but you never brought it up. Especially considering you were one of the only people he touched willingly. You didn’t want him thinking he was broken, more so than he thought he was already. And you definitely didn’t want to push him into fixing himself. So you didn’t tell him, even though you were pretty sure he knew, and you just let him take the lead. 

Sometimes it meant he grabbed your hand in large crowds, or tucked you under his arm when he was threatened. Other times it meant laying his head in your lap when he was tired late at night, or a soft hug in greeting.

Hands slowly tracing his spine, fingers dancing up and down his back, you gave a small smile when you felt him practically purring in your embrace. You could never decide if he was more puppy or kitten. You used to make jokes about the three of them, Steve, Bucky, and Sam, being like a puppy, kitten, and bird that you had to reluctantly pet sit for a friend. You would give almost anything to be joking around like that with them when you went to visit Bucky in Wakanda with Steve.

“Buck?”

He hummed. You didn’t want to pull back, you wanted to stay connected with him for as long as possible, but you had to talk. You didn’t want to talk about it, because that would make it more real, but you had to. You had to.

“Have you seen the news recently?”

His eyebrows furrowed, his lips pulling down. “What happened? Is it Wanda?”

You looked down the hall, your lips pressed together tightly, before nodding inside. “We have to talk.”

He nodded, stepping back and pulling you inside. Seeing the makeshift bed on the floor against the far edge of the sofa made you inwardly sigh, but you didn’t say anything about it. Steve was the same way at first.

“Is she okay? Did you find her? Where-”

“It’s not Wanda.” Turning, you faced him, trying to control your own anger at the situation, knowing it wouldn’t help him any. “It’s…it’s about Steve.”

Those spectacularly blue eyes narrowed, bottom lip being sucked in between his teeth. “What about Steve?”

You gestured for him to come closer, holding out your hand in offering. He took it and followed you as you led him to the couch. A cleared throat and a deep breath later found you gently explaining what happened to him. That the government had taken back the shield and had given it to someone else. A ‘hero just for America’. A ‘new Captain America’.

You could see his features harden with every word, his jaw ticking dangerously, his chest heaving and his nostrils flaring. You squeezed his hand as you finished. “He’s got meetings and stuff with senators and governors. They’re taking him on a tour this week. They-they want me to meet him, considering I’m the last of the original seven. Active on Earth, at least.”

The tears that started forming in his eyes made you swallow your own emotions down thickly. He didn’t need your hatred of this wannabe to fuel his own. He needed your support and comfort. He needed to know you’d be by his side through this.

“Are you?”

You blinked, not expecting his first words to be that question. “Am I what?”

“Going to meet with him?”

“I-I…” You stopped talking, knowing that if you continued you’d end up ranting about how he wasn’t your captain. How he could never be your captain. Debating answers, you decided on a simple, blunt reply. “No.”

“Why…” 

Running your thumb over his knuckles, you leaned over slowly to press a chaste kiss to his bare skin and blood shoulder. “Take your time. Collect your thoughts.”

He responded to your words by taking a deep breath, clenching his eyes shut, his jaw so tight you feared he might chip his teeth. It was a tense minute before he said anything, the room being filled with his harsh breathing. “You said he gave them the shield.”

“What?”

“Yesterday. You told me he gave up the shield. They put it in the Smithsonian. But you just said they took it from him.”

“He did give it to them, but-”

“Why?” His eyes snapped open, his features twisting into ones of frustration and resentment. “Why’d he give it to them?”

You shook your head, knowing Sam didn’t mean for any of that to happen. He had called you a few weeks ago to ask about your opinion on the matter. You told him that Steve trusted him, and you trusted Steve, so if Sam thought that was the right thing to do…you trusted him. “It’s not Sam’s fault. Don’t be mad-”

“Don’t be mad?! Don’t be mad?!” Bucky shot up, ripping his hand away from yours, making you bite your lip and hang your head as he paced in front of you. “Steve gave it to him! And he just gives it away like he’s regifting a shitty frisbee as a Christmas present! And you don’t want me to be mad?! Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N?!”

Cringing at the use of your name, which you rarely hear fall from his lips, especially in vexation like just then, you looked up at him, eyes pleading. “Bucky, I get it. I do. I’m mad, too. I’m-I’m furious. But you can’t blame Sam. Please. He just - he’s trying, Buck. Just like me. Just like you. We’re all trying.”

Bucky’s shoulders fell as he stared at you, eyes darting from feature to feature as he studied your face. Before you could say anything else, he was on the floor in front of you, in between your legs, arms wrapped around your waist and face pressed into your stomach.

You could tell he was holding something back - something big - but you wouldn’t push him. You never did. Displaying feelings was always hard for him, even in the early 1900’s; Steve used to tell you stories when you were looking for him after the fiasco in DC. Bucky grew up being the oldest of four and the only boy. On top of that, his best friend was a scrawny, stubborn, punching bag of a boy. According to Stevie, neither of them really learned how to cope or how to deal with feelings. And it showed. Boy, did it show.

Instead of getting on him and asking what was wrong and begging for him to talk to you, your fingers tangled in his hair, nails scratching his scalp, as you sat back to make the position more comfortable for him.

“Stay with me. I need you.”

You leaned down to press a soft kiss to his head, nodding into his hair. “I’ll stay. For as long as you need me, Buckaroo.”

Taglist (OPEN):

@happygoreading​, @thatsdarwinism​, @satellitespidey​

[rezzyromance]

Idk if this is how you request things or if it's just asking, BUT-

How would the Lords react to an S/O that's usually the chillest person that you will ever meet (not to be confused with a pushover because they are not), they've never seen them even mildly annoyed when something bad happens. But then something happens and, turns out, the S/O is utterly TERRIFYING when they're mad.

Hope this makes sense!

Aw man I'm gonna feel awful scaring Moreau and Donna :(

Alcina

You're relaxing on a beautiful morning. The sun is shining through the window just enough to warm the room but not hurt your eyes. You hadn't even changed out of your sleep wear. "How are you feeling, my dear?", a sweet voice rang from the doorway. You were sitting in your favorite chair near the window. You turn and smile at her. She walks over and rubs your face in her large hand before leaning down and giving you a soft kiss. "I'm feeling amazing. And you?", you grab her hand before she pulls it away and you place a kiss on her knuckles. "I'm feeling alright. There's a new maid here. She's a bit slow. I'm giving her until tonight to finish dusting the entire castle or else she won't see another sunrise." It was almost comedic how dark her words were as you both stared out the window and gazed at the beautiful scenery. "Come on Alcina.", you stand up and place your hands on hers, trying to hold them despite the size difference. "Give the girl a break. It's a huge castle AND it's her first day.", you knew your words would probably change nothing. Alcina was rather cruel, but you looked past it. You tried your best to make the nervous maids comfortable whenever they arrive.

"We'll see how she does." She gives you one more kiss before leaving the room. You sit back down in your chair, enjoying the warmth of the sun for a little while longer. You lose track of time, minutes maybe even hours go by. Suddenly, there's a crash not far from the door. You jump and stand up, no longer comfortable after being startled. "What in the name of Mother Miranda?!", you leave the room and look down the hallway. The new maid stood there with a terrified look on her face. In front of her was one of the paintings Alcina had on her walls, now with a broken frame and a hole punctured. Your blood began to boil. It was a painting of you, her, and the girls all together. It was your favorite. "How in the hell did you manage to do that?!", you begin to stomp towards her. She cowers and struggles to find her words. "I-I-I was just dusting! It fell and I-I didn't mean t-", you cut her off. "How the fuck did you knock such a large painting over just by dusting?! DO YOU THINK YOU'RE ALLOWED TO MAKE SUCH STUPID MISTAKES HERE?!", you unravel. "I-I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!", she almost begins to weep. "SORRY ISN'T GONNA SAVE YOUR ASS!"

"MISS DIMITRESCU PLEASE HELP!", she cries out. You freeze, realizing that the lady herself is right behind you. You turn to face her. Her eyes are wide with shock. She has never seen you like this before and never even knew you had this type of side to you. She was impressed as much as she was terrified. "(Y/N)? Are you alright my love?" She had no idea what to do as your seething slowed down. "Why don't you go back to the room, yes? Settle down a little and deal with her later.", she places a hand on your back helps walk with you back to the room. Once you're there, she bends down to whisper in your ear. "I don't know where this side of you has been this whole time, but I am so amazed by you. And also a little frightened."

Donna

The Beneviento house was usually a calm place despite its creepy aura. You and Donna are both quiet and chill people. Never once have you fought or even raised your voices at each other. It was pleasant.

You had planned a nice dinner for the both of you. You wanted to try out a new recipe and surprise her, so you made your way to the kitchen to get started. "Okay, what first? I guess I'll need a pot.", you go rummaging through the kitchen and you find the pots stacked within each other inside one of the top cabinets. You groan and stand up on your toes, grazing the pots with your fingers. It didn't take much to cause them to tumble down, crashing on top of you with a loud sound that followed. "Aw shit.", you sighed and picked up the knocked over pots. A small but annoying pain began to throb in your head from where it made contact with a pot. What you didn't notice was you forgot to pick one of the pots up. It remained unnoticed. "It's fine.", you say to yourself as you maintain your composure. Next, a cutting board and knife. You turn around and begin to walk forward to find the cutting board, but you slam your toe into counter. You wince in pain and grab your foot. "SON OF A BITCH!", you yell.

You calm yourself, still wanting to have a pleasant meal with Donna. "Alright. Everything's fine." You step forward and kick the pot that you had forgotten to pick up. It caused your freshly kicked toe to ache even more. "OH COME ON! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!", you scream and swear as you throw your arms up in pure rage and shock.

"...(Y/N)?", a gentle voice whispered from the doorway, causing you to whip your head in that direction. It was Donna. She looked absolutely horrified and almost looked like she could cry. "Is.. is everything... are you alright?", she worried. "Yes. I'm sorry. Just got a little pissed off.", you took a deep breath to calm yourself down, feeling bad for scaring the poor girl.

Moreau

You were sitting on the dock together, looking into the water as your feet swung back and forth above it. It was a sunny day and you two decided to spend it outside. Your hand slowly made its way over to his. His feet stopped swinging for a second as you entangled your fingers. "I don't know what I'd do without you, (Y/N)." his words were bitter sweet as a gentle smile formed from his lips. "Oh, Sal. You don't have to think like that. I'll always be here for you.", you kiss his cheek and continue to relax as you sway your legs.

"There it is! There's the beast!", a voice yelled from not so far away. You both look in the direction of the voice and see a few young village boys. Possibly between the ages of 13 and 16. Moreau had become some what of a scary story for the villagers. A tale that kids spread on school court yard and bring up during dares. But, you've never seen a kid brave enough to actually make it far enough into the reservoir to actually see Moreau. Now, there were about 3. All of them stood and pointed, shocked and terrified.

"Hey beast! Come get me!", one kid teases. You glare at the kids as a newfound rage begins to boil inside you. "Let's go back inside.", Moreau says before standing up from the doc. The sadness in his voice was heartbreaking. Suddenly, one of the children gathers the guts to pick up a rock and throw it as hard as he could. His aim was off, but not by much. It slammed into the wood near Moreau's feet, startling him. "Take that you devil!", he laughs. "THAT'S IT YOU LITTLE SHIT!", you begin sprinting in the direction of the immature brats. Two of them run from the direction they came from while the one who threw the rock was frozen in fear. You took the opportunity to grab him by the collar of his shirt. "Listen here you little waste of space. I'm gonna give you 3 seconds to turn around and run for your goddamn life. If you or any of your little snot-nosed friends come around here again, they'll be goddamn fish food. Do you understand?" The kid was too scared to speak and instead began to nod rapidly. You let him go and watched as he ran as fast as he could, screaming the whole way.

You walk back to the shack and find Moreau standing in the same place he was when you took off. His mouth was agape and he looked almost as scared as the kids. "You alright Sal? I made sure those little shits won't be coming around here anymore." "Yeah... I didn't know you could be so... scary", he says. "I'm sorry. But those kids were being cruel. I had to do something.", you say. "Well... it was awesome!", he smiled. "But also very scary!" You laugh which helps sooth him a little.

Heisenberg

"Screw driver.", is all Karl said with an outstretched palm. He was working on some type of mechanical heart for his experiments. He wanted you to lend a "helping hand" even though he could easily do it all by himself. He did this because he wanted to be around you, he was just too stubborn with too big of an ego to simply say it. So here you were, handing him every little tool he asks for.

"Do you want the big one or the little one?", you say with a hint of boredom in your tone. "Aw c'mon don't sound like that! Isn't this exciting? It's like you're working on it with me! Also, hand me the big one.", you do as he says and hand him the big screw driver. "I just don't get it. You literally have powers. You can easily do this by yourself and have been for so long. Why do you need me to help?" He pauses for a second and looks over towards you, his brow slightly furrowed. "I don't NEED you to help. I just thought it would be nice for you to help out. Plus, you're the one always bitching about me constantly working. Well, here you are! Helping me work! So, either suck it up or you can leave." His harshness had no real ill will in it. He was just confused and a bit too ignorant to consider his words. But, he was testing your patience. He continued to use the screwdriver until handing it to you without saying a word.

"Hand me a screw.", he demanded with his hand facing palm up again. "Which size?" "They're all the same sizes, dumbass." You feel your blood begin to boil. "They're different fucking sizes! This one is smaller than this one!", you hold up two screws that are obviously different sizes. This makes Karl angry. Not because you were right, but because you seemed upset over something that seemed so insignificant.

"If you came here just to yap in my ear, then I don't think I need your assistance.", he huffed. You put the selection of tools and supplies he was making you hold on the table he is working on and ball your fists. "You're the one who told me to do this in the first place!", you yell. "Yeah, because you won't stop bitching! Non-stop you're always compla-" you cut him off before he can finish. "SHUT UP!", you yell. The room goes silent. "YOU SAY I'M BITCHING? HAVE YOU HEARD YOURSELF? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KARL YOU BITCH AND MOAN ALL THE TIME! I'M DONE TAKING SHIT FROM YOU!" He wanted to be angry, but he couldn't. He felt something much more overwhelming. Was he.. intimidated? He didn't move from his seat. All he could do was look up at you with a confused expression. What now? What is there to do? If he pushes you further, what would happen? He was actually too scared to find out.

You take a deep breath to calm down before speaking. "Now, if you want me to help with your shit, I'll stay as long as you keep your mouth shut. Can you possibly manage to do that?" He gulps nervously. "Yes ma'am."

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Our little love part 2 - mafia/yandere au Drabble {angst + fluff}

As always please let me know what you think, I am actually going to go to bed now my brain is angry with me for not sleeping.

It seemed the cycle was never ending, you fucking up and pissing them off, them punishing you by drowning you in their love, only letting you come up to breathe so you could swim in your own guilt and submit to them.

You wince as the victim to your latest fuck up gets another blow to his chest. Taehyung and Hobi held onto his arms as Jungkook and Jimin kick and punch the poor individual. You know not to speak, it’ll only make things worse. Temperament was a fickle thing in their lives, trust was everything, and you still had to build yours up again.

“Y/n help please,” Kai whimpers as you stood with your arms crossed looking away.

“Don’t fucking say her name,” Jungkook growled before punching your ex colleague in the face. You’re frowning, the need to beg them to stop was fighting for exit on the top of your tongue, but you bite it down and pray Kai doesn’t say another word. You know if you do as he asks they’d kill him. Your punishment was to watch silently.

Yoongi strolls up behind you, hands in his pockets before he rests his head on your shoulder, watching the display in front of you both.

“Nothing to say little love?” He whispers as your friend groans out in pain.

Please don’t kill him, you want to say, but you just shake your head in defeat. You want to believe they’re better than this, but the evidence of the contrary was never hidden from you. They showed you every side of them whether proud of it or not with bold eyes daring you to stop loving them, pushing your boundaries and morals waiting for you to snap. But the breaking point never came, you loved them, you shouldn’t and you knew it, but you did. You were completely and utterly theirs, yet still they treated you like you hadn’t seen the worst of them. Like you would run away the second you realised they were monsters, not that they would let you run far, only far enough to let you take a single breath before making you drown in them once again.

Yoongi wraps his arms around your waist, keeping an eye on your reactions. The asshole deserved it, not that they cared either way, he tried to take you away from them, that was enough.

Kai was your old partner before you took a very early retirement, what you didn’t know was that he continued the case you were working on before you left; the case of the seven men you now loved and the reason you quit said job. He had called you to meet up for old times sake and you, very naively in Yoongi’s mind, decided it was harmless. But if it was harmless why didn’t you say anything to the boys? You thought Kai didn’t know the reason you handed in your resignation, but he had been keeping an eye on you all before he realised you were the key to their downfall. He knew you harboured some feeling for him in the past and thought you’d reciprocate when he tried to flirt his way into getting his hands on the evidence you collected, he didnt know you burned it all. You lied to him and said you lost it, same difference anyway. This prompted plan b from him.

“Y/n they’re criminals,” he had said to you. “You’re a cop at heart you can’t love them.”

You floundered at his words when you realised he knew, and yet he still asked you to betray them.

“Kai I think I need to go...”

It was a mistake, you knew it then, but he followed you out onto the street and you hoped tonight the men you loved weren’t keeping an eye on you. Maybe naive was an understatement.

“Are they coercing you Y/n! Do they have something on you or are they threatening you?” He calls after you. “Because the Y/n I know would never love killers, what have they done to you?”

It was when he reached his hand out to grab your arm that your boyfriends decided to show themselves from the shadows. Which lead to the situation now, Kai beat up and bruised beyond recognition, and you forced to watch. He falls unconscious and they let him drop to the floor, you hate this side of them, it was cruel and cold but you’d never leave. They turn to face you now, their anger still present despite the last hour of releasing it onto your old partner. They don’t miss the way you’re shaking, the shallow breaths as you try and keep your tears to yourself. As much as you hate their violence, you hate their disappointment in you more.

——————————————————————————

You’re sitting in Joonie’s lap for what you call the debriefing of your punishment, this happened way too often in your opinion. You look down but he wasn’t having it today, tilting your head to look at him by your chin.

“Why did you get punished today little love?” He starts the same way as usual.

“I went out without telling you guys where I was going or who with,” you say while fiddling with your fingers out of nervous habit.

“And?” Hobi sits across from you in a chair, legs straddling the back and an elbow rested on top with his fist holding up his face. Hobi was hardest to pacify, he was ruthless and unforgiving and while that didn’t extend to you, you still had a hard time with his stubborn anger.

“I met up with Kai, and I let him touch me,” you’ve done this too many times before to not know how it worked. Kai’s ‘touch’ obviously meant nothing to you but for them it was the worst crime anyone could commit against their little love.

You remember the time you nearly tripped in the park and a guy steadied you politely, but you still had to hold Jungkook back from throwing hands.

“Kookie would you rather I fell and hurt myself?” No he hadn’t wanted that so he grumbled in agreement still seething but you cooled it down. “Instead of hitting him maybe you should thank him,” it was a joke but it made the youngest scoff.

“Baby girl why can’t you just be good?” Namjoon’s sigh brings you back to the present. “Why do you always have to test us like this?”

You didn’t mean to, you want to say it but the words are stuck below the sob in your throat. You actually whimper as his tone, bottom lip wobbling pathetically. He hadn’t even told you off properly, but you already felt like a mess as he bathed you in his disappointment. That was the common consequence of your actions and you hated it, you couldn’t do anything right.

——————————————————————————

“Jin do you need help with the food?” You ask your eldest boyfriend politely, he was frowning and you thought it was because today’s meal was too much for him to handle alone, his tone of voice made you realise it was because of you.

“No, I’m alright,” he doesn’t look at you as he speaks and you’re left gaping at him like a fish. Jin loved it when you cooked with him, it was your bonding time without the others, although Yoongi would join you from time to time. The others also tried but Jin wouldn’t let them anywhere near the kitchen, they hogged you enough anyway.

You feel your soul deflate, still standing there as he ignored you.

“Are you mad at me too?”

The way you said it made his heart twinge with guilt, but the others were right you wouldn’t learn and your first betrayal was still fresh on their minds. He sighs and you turn away, refusing to crying in front of them for the tenth time that day. What was wrong with you? Ever since that day where they found out who you really were you felt like you werent enough anymore, you tried so hard to make up for it all but you kept messing up. You weren’t like this before, but after seeing the hurt you put them through you were constantly on edge and second guessing yourself. You wish you could go back and stop them from ever finding out.

Jin hears the sniffle as you walk away and he can’t go through with it.

“Wait little love,” he calls for you. “I forgot to cut the onions, would you mind?”

You shake your head, you didn’t mind, but you didn’t trust your voice to answer for you. Youre grateful to Jin for giving you this task, it hides the fact you’re crying, but you know he doesn’t miss it.

——————————————————————————

Jimin and Taehyung were giving you narrowed stern gazes through dinner, it put you off your food which resulted in getting told off by Jin just after he branched out to you in the kitchen.

You felt alone, like the seven men you loved were against you and there was no one to blame but yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly before getting up and removing yourself from the dinner table and dining room, ignoring all of their stares. You decide maybe an early night is best, you could start again fresh tomorrow. You don’t get too far up the stairs before a hand pulls you back, you turn to see Jimin with Tae a few steps behind him.

You’re so used to seeing them laugh and play around that it feels like you’re looking at different people. Even during missions or gun fights, the youngest three were always joking their way through the bloodshed, keeping scores of who got the most headshots and other grotesque games. You remember the time Jimin and Tae called you during he middle of a shoot out, arguing with you and each other over who you loved more out of the two while you begged them to not get shot or killed.

“Why did you go see him Y/n?” Jimin asked, he wore the demeanour he used for enemies and it takes you back to that night.

“I... h-he said he wanted to see me to catch up,” you explain but you know it’ll fall on deaf ears.

“And you thought that was a good idea, to see your old cop buddy?” His tone makes you feel stupid, you weren’t stupid.

“He was my friend Jimin,” you say in disbelief, you know in the end it was a mistake but at the time it didn’t seem like the worst idea in the world.

“You’re ours,” Taehyung moved forward, towering over you even though he’s a step below you. His face is close to your own, eyes burning into yours as he looks disgusted at the words that left your mouth as if they’re still attached to you. “How do you think we felt when you went to see another detective? Do you have any idea what was going through our heads?”

“Tae I love you,” you lean away from him, searching his face for a hint of softness and love in his gaze, but there was only fire. “You know I wouldn’t, you all know I wouldn’t, I left that life for you why would I turn back to it?”

He stalks away from you without a word, Jimin close behind, giving you a final cold glance before leaving you alone. You thought your love could make them better but if anything you made their darkness worse.

——————————————————————————

Jungkook needed to vent, the only way he knew how was physically. Obviously it wasn’t the cleverest thing he’s done, taking rounds with the punching bag only to open up the cuts on his hand from beating the bastard earlier. He mutters a few curse words under his breath, why did you make matters worse? Maybe they were being harsh on you before today, finding any excuse to punish you a little, test your boundaries and see if you would run, but today they honestly feared that was what happened. They thought you chose to leave them and go back to the life you had before them, but they’d never let you go, they couldn’t let you go. Despite everything you loved them and they worshipped the ground you walked on. You were everything for them now, there’s be no point to any of them without you. Why didn’t you understand that?

He throws another punch to the bag, spreading his blood across them, it hurt like hell, but the thought of you running back to your old partner still played on all of their minds. He wanted to cry, he wanted to find you and beg you to never leave them, they’d be nothing without you.

There’s a knock on the door and he finds you on the other side, waiting for permission to come in. You never waited for permission, it makes him frown, maybe they were too harsh on you today. He could see you shuffling your weight, insecurity screaming through your eyes, you feared his rejection more than his anger.

He notices the first aid kit in your hand, you must’ve heard him. He doesn’t let the fluttering in his chest reach his face as he sits on the bench, waiting for you to come to him.

His gaze is expectant, daring you to cross the threshold and face him, you were no coward, you didn’t fear them the way others did, why were you behaving so meekly now? You force yourself to move and sit beside him, setting the kit down and pushing your hair back behind your ears. He doesn’t move his gaze away from you, even with the sweat and hair hanging in front of his face.

You carefully take a his hand into yours, sucking air between your teeth at how injured it was.

“I’m sorry you hurt yourself because of me,” you say, eyes on his bloodied knuckle as you press the ointment against the open wounds. “Are you sure you want me to stay, I keep hurting you...”

You try to sound like you’re joking, that you’re okay and the hurt isn’t weighing you down with your doubts. He frowns, they really did take it too far. He sets down the cotton wool from your grasp, taking both of hands into his before kissing each finger delicately without letting you look away.

“You’re perfect little love,” Jungkook says, reassuring you with no question in his voice. “We’re the ones who don’t deserve you, we’re mean and cruel but we’re never letting you go.”

You remember how loving they were before that night, maybe while they accepted the truth at face value they could never really forgive you in their hearts. Maybe that’s why they were being like this, they didn’t love you the same way anymore.

“Do you love me?” You had to know, the doubt was eating you alive.

He looks at you as if you’re insane, maybe you are, you don’t know anymore.

“Little love, don’t you see how much we love you?” He asks sincerely. “We would do anything for that love even if it made you hate us, you belong with us, and no one is going to take you away.”

You could see the crazed look in his face grow as he spoke, you believed him, the honestly worn like a heart on a sleeve. But his answer bought a wave clarity to your hazed vision, you made them like this, you made them worse, you had to leave.

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

the moment i knew // bucky barnes

Summary: When Bucky comes back from a mission with Natasha you can’t help but think something has changed between you and start doubting if this relationship is something Bucky really wants.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: insecure reader, jealousy, miscommunication, curse words, angst, fluff, drunk reader 

A/N: As always, please remember English is not my first language. I tried my best to write this, please don’t be rude. Also, thanks to @pistachoz​ for helping me and proofreading this!!

divider by @firefly-graphics​

You had never considered yourself as someone jealous, you believed it was an awful feeling, irrational. But you couldn't help the sense of discomfiture forming in the pit of your stomach when there was evidence for you to feel that way. Bucky has been on a mission with Natasha for two weeks, this was the first time the two were sent alone. In the beginning, you didn’t worry about it because- you were aware of the past your boyfriend and the black widow shared, but Bucky had always assured you that it was in the past and he didn't see her as anything more than a friend. He made sure to show you every day how in love he was with you, and you didn’t remember the last time you felt this happy with someone. 

But this mission changed everything. 

Bucky usually calls you to check on you, even if he’s busy he always finds a way to text or call you, but this time he hadn’t even answered you. You got worried at first, millions of thoughts of what could have happened racing in your mind, but when Natasha contacted Tony to assure him they were okay, all you could wonder was why hadn't your boyfriend contacted you.

You gave him the deficit of the doubt and tried not to take his avoidance the wrong way but when they came back, he went straight to his room without even sparing a glance your way. What game was he playing at? What has happened on that mission to make your boyfriend act this way?

“You should go to talk to him,” Wanda advised  “I’m sure there’s a reason for him acting this way”

“Oh yeah? And what is it?” you scoffed. 

You were in Wanda’s bedroom. She was your best friend, always supporting you when you needed it, this time was no different.

“Y/N, you know Bucky. He’s not that kind of guy. I’m sure there’s a reason. Stop being stubborn and go to talk to him”

You looked at her; she was giving you the “mom look”. You sighed. You loved Bucky, and you didn’t want to lose him. There had to be a reason, right? You knew he loved you, he even said he wanted to grow old and have a future with you. 

You get up from Wanda’s bed. “You’re right,” You walked out of your friend’s bedroom and made your way to your boyfriend’s room. When you reached the corner of his hallway, you hear a door opening and people laughing. You put your head out the corner and you saw Natasha on the doorstep of your boyfriend’s bedroom. He was there too. Shirtless. She laughed at something he said and you didn’t catch and she smacked his right arm in a joking way. He was laughing too. You had never seen your boyfriend laugh that way with anyone other than you. Or Steve. And maybe Sam. But with Natasha? Never. Also, he hated when people invaded his personal space and touched him without permission.

You huffed as tears pricked at the back of your eyes and made your way back to your friend’s bedroom. Once there, you closed the door and slid to the floor. All the anger you once had turning bitterly into sadness, poisoning every fiber in your being. Tears started to blossom on your eyes and sliding through your cheeks. Wanda ran towards you and embraced you in her arms, asking what had happened, stroking your hair, in an attempt of calming you.

Sobbing you tried to tell her what you saw, the more you cried the hard it was talking and breathing for you. Wanda got you up from the floor and walked you to her bed, she cupped your face in her hands and wiped the tears from your cheeks.

“Breath, Y/N” She breathed in and on with you until you calmed a little. 

You didn’t understand how he could do this to you. After all the things you had done for him. All the panic attacks, all the nightmares, and the sleepless nights you shared with him. And that is the way he repaid you? Going on your back with your friend?

And Nat, you had trusted her, the countless times you had told her things you would say to anyone, she was your friend and she assured she felt nothing for him anymore. She assured what happened between her and Bucky was done. You feel betrayed by two of the most important people in your life. 

If he wasn’t happy with you, he could have told you. Yes, it would have hurt, but not much hurt as the one you were feeling right now.

“Are you sure that was what you saw? Maybe you misinterpreted it,” Wanda was trying to help, knowing Bucky and Natasha, it was impossible to think they would do such a thing to you.

“Wanda, if you saw Vis shirtless laughing at night with another woman in his bedroom, and this woman is touching him, what would you think? How can you misinterpret that?” It wasn’t about being open-minded, permissive, or controlling. It was about respect. There are things you don’t do if you are in a relationship with someone. He was out a lot of nights with Sam and Steve, and you were okay with that. You didn’t mind if he has girl-friends. But what you saw today and his attitude towards you in the last two weeks was something you could not ignore.

Wanda paused for a moment, thinking about what to say to you to make you feel better “Well…if they’re really doing this to you, then fuck them. They don’t deserve you,” your friend stated, “this defines them, but not you.” 

You sniffled wiping your nose with the back of your hand. Your eyes were red from crying and they started to hurt. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

You usually slept with Bucky, either you went to his room or he came to yours. But tonight that wasn’t an option. Possibly, that wouldn’t be an option anymore.

“Of course,” She wasn’t going to leave you alone when you were going through such a hard time. You had always been there for her, and now she was going to be there for you.

When Pietro died, and she came to the Avengers Compound you were the first one to came and check up on her, you didn’t ask her how she was feeling, that was a stupid and obvious question, you just stay there with her, offering your support. And from that moment she knew you were going to be a very important part of her life.

“Now try to sleep. If you don’t rest, you won’t heal”

The next day came sooner than you would have wanted to. The sunlight coming through the windows made you rub your eyes. 

“How did you sleep?” Wanda was lying next to you, she had just woken up a few seconds before you. 

“Not my best night,” You sat up in bed and rubbed your temples. 

You felt her hand on your shoulder and you looked at her “I’m with you, okay?” You’re not alone,” She gave you a reassuring smile.

You were going to have to face Bucky and Natasha, and you weren’t prepared for that. When you reached the kitchen, you could hear their laughs again. The same laughs from last night. You took a deep breath and pursed your lips, trying to suppress the tears that were starting to form in your eyes. Not again. Not in front of them.

When your boyfriend noticed your presence, he turned his attention towards you, a wide smile spread on his face. “Hey, doll” He started to make his way to you “I went to your room last night but you weren’t there” Was he seriously like he didn’t ignore you for two weeks and yesterday acted like you didn’t exist? What a scoundrel.

He hovered over you, trying to wrap his arms around you but you dodged him. A confused look formed on his face. “I slept with Wanda. You seemed very busy, didn’t want to bother you.” You didn’t let him answer, just made your wake to the counter to pour two coffee mugs, one for you and one for your best friend.

Everybody was wearing confused looks at your behavior, you had never acted this way towards Bucky; you were quite the opposite, always hugging, kissing, or holding hands. Your PDA was something that drove the team crazy sometimes, but they were happy for you. Acting like this set alarms on everybody’s head. What the hell happened between you two?

Bucky tried to talk to you the whole day but managed to slip through his fingers. He wanted an explanation. He wanted to know what he had done to make you act this way towards him. You two were fine when he left on that mission, so what had happened in that two weeks he was gone?

He finally found his chance when he caught you alone in the gym. This time you wouldn’t walk away.  

“Y/N,” his voice was firm but not harsh, “Can we talk, please?”

“I don’t have time” You kept punching the bag and ignoring his presence. That’s it. He had enough. He grabbed your arm and turned you to him. Face to face.

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Let me go” You pointed at your grabbed arm with your eyes and he let you go. 

Bucky huffed. “What did I do?”

You looked at him perplexed. Was he being serious?  “Are you really asking me that?”

“Y/N, honestly. I don’t know what I did.”

“You didn’t call, and neither answered any of my texts.”

“Really? That’s why you are mad? My phone broke and I couldn’t contact you”

You chuckled. What a lame excuse. “Of course. What about Nat then? You could have asked for her phone”

He frowned. “I told her to text to you, to tell you I was okay”

“Well, she didn’t”

“Maybe she forgot. I don’t know. It’s not much of a deal”

You were starting to get exasperated. He didn’t get it. 

“You know what, Bucky? Fuck you!” That was the last thing you said to him before you left the gym. Wanda was right. He didn’t deserve you, and he didn’t deserve your tears either. 

You didn’t hear of Bucky for the rest of the day. Now you were sitting in your bed, a framed picture of the two of you in your hands. Your eyes started burning. You missed him. You didn’t want to miss him. You two were happy, didn’t you? You didn’t understand what you had done wrong. 

You hear a knock on your door, you put the frame down on your bed and wiped your eyes. “Come in” 

The door of your bedroom opened to let you see who you used to consider a friend. What was she doing here?

“Get out” you got up from bed abruptly and pointed at the door. Natasha looked at you shocked. 

“Y/N, w-” you didn’t let her finish her sentence. 

“OUT. NOW.” But she didn’t budge. She just stayed there, looking at you. You finally got tired and pushed her out of your bedroom.

“Y/N, Calm down. I just wanna talk to you” You didn’t answer, closing the door in her face. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.” you called the AI system.

“Yes? Miss Y/N.”

“I don’t want anyone in my room. Don’t let anyone in. Only Wanda.”

“Alright. Miss Y/N. Do you want me to let Miss Maximoff know that you want to see her?”

“Yes, please.”

F.R.I.D.A.Y did as you told, and a few minutes later you hear a knock at your door. “Y/N. It’s me” You opened the door and crashed into the arms of your best friend. 

“Let’s get out of here. Please get me out of here.” The redhead looked at you worried.

“What happened?” she questioned.

“I don't wanna talk about it now. I just- I can’t be here”

Wanda looked at you sympathetically and wiped the tears off your face the same way she did last night. 

“Okay,” she nodded “Let’s get out. We are going to have a girls day”

When you came back to the compound it was late at night. You were stumbling, arm slugged on Wanda’s neck. You had drunk a little too much, trying to cop-out. Your mother always said that being drunk is the anesthesia of the fools.

“Best night EVER!” you yelled, raising your fist to the air.

Wanda hushed you. You were going to wake up the rest of the team. “Wan, you're so hot.” you keep babbling, Wanda laughed, she was going to make sure to remind you this night tomorrow. “I love you soooooo much”

“I love you too, Y/N”

“You’re like my best best friend” 

“You drank too much, Y/N. You need to sleep”

You shook your head, “No, no Imma go talk to him”

Wanda dragged to your best. “You’re going to sleep. You can talk to Bucky tomorrow”

“NOW!”

“Now you’re going to sleep” Wanda stated, getting tired of your drunk state. You looked at her, she looked so intimidating, you nodded like a scared puppy and did as she told. The moment your body hit your bed you fell asleep. “You’ll thank me tomorrow,” She said before stepping out of your room.

Sunlight streams golden through the window. You raised your heavy eyelids halfway only for them to fall shut again. The aching in your skull ebbs and flows like a cold tide. Now you understand why they call it a hangover. Perhaps some painkillers would help.

You hear a knock on your door, you groaned and wrapped yourself in your duvet, hoping that whoever was out the door would just go away. But the knock persists, louder each time.

Once on your feet the room swayed, almost causing you to lose balance and you reached for the wall. This feeling made you think you had to have fun last night but somehow it wasn’t in your memory.

The reflection on the mirror in the wall shows no sign of the glamour girl of last night. You rubbed your eyes before opening the door. 

“Wanda told me you would need this,” Bucky handed some painkillers and a glass of water in his hands. The cracking in your head and your dry mouth were too strong to ignore them and to kick out your boyfriend. You took the pill from his hand and threw them in your mouth followed by the glass of water.

“Fun night?” he asked, entering the room and closing the door.

“You could say that”

Bucky sat in your bed as you went into the bathroom. “You never handed alcohol well,” he chuckled under his breath.

“Bucky, what do you want?” you asked tiredly

“You and I have a pending conversation”

You sighed. “Now it’s not the best moment. Besides, I look awful”

“You always look beautiful,” he said softly, walking carefully to you, he brushed a piece of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear.

“Don't do this. Not now.” you closed your eyes, melting under his touch.

“Don’t do what? Telling you how I feel?”

“What happened between you and Nat?” you finally asked, the alcohol remaining in your system putting your defenses down. You didn’t want to fight. You just wanted to know. What Natasha had that you hadn’t?

Your question didn’t startle Bucky, not shocked him either. Little you know, Wanda had gone to his room last night, after she made sure you were asleep to question Bucky about his behavior towards you on the last few weeks. She cared for you, so much. You were like a sister to her, and she wouldn’t let anyone take advantage of you or make you feel like you weren’t worthy.

“There’s nothing between me and Natasha. I promise.” he said sincerely “I’m in love with you.”

“Then why didn’t you call or text me? Two weeks, Bucky. I hadn't heard from you in two weeks. You had me worried. We always call and text each other when we are on a mission”

“I told you, my phone broke. I told Nat to text you, I don’t know why she didn’t do it. I’m sorry”

You looked down. Bucky has never lied to you, and he has never given you a motive to mistrust him.

“What about the day you came? You ignored me the whole day”

“I was tired. All I wanted was to clean up and rest.”

“With Natasha?” you inquired

He looked at you confused, not knowing what you were talking about. “I went to your room that night, Natasha was there and you were shirtless”

He rubbed his face. “Oh, Y/N. That doesn’t mean what you think,” you looked at him, waiting for him to explain himself  “She just came to check up on me, I just came out of the shower, she didn’t even come in”

“You were laughing, though.”

“And you think that means I cheat on you? You always laugh with Steve and Sam. And I don’t think you are cheating on me with them. Why is Natasha any different?”

“Because-” you were ashamed of showing your insecurities to Bucky. “she had you first.” You couldn’t help to compare yourself to your friend, she was prettier, she was smart. She was everything you were not.

“And you have me now,” he cupped your face “And I want you forever.”

Bucky bent down and closed the gap between you. Finally feeling his lips in yours and- oh god. How have you missed the way he feels. He kissed you with so much gentleness like you were going to break any minute, but that wasn’t what you wanted right now; you needed to let him know that you were there, you wanted to feel every part of his body against yours and reassure yourself that he wasn’t going anywhere. You knotted your fists in his shirt, pulling him closer if that was even possible. He groaned, his hands firmly on your hips and lips agape. When you pulled away you smiled and touched his lips with your fingers. “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too, doll,” he said circling his arms around you making his way towards your bed until you hit the mattress, his body hovering over yours. “We have so much time to make up to.” 

[ajokeformur-ray]

~ Angry cuddles with Patrick Verona ~

Summary: Pat’s mad at you. But he also wants his cuddles. What occurs when his need overcomes his anger is too cute and it leads to the both of you melting into the mattress together. (SFW)

Something my darling @loveletterstoledger​ said to me today sparked this little ficlet. This idea was entirely her own and I wanted to write something about it so please send her some love directly if you enjoy this; she deserves it!💜💗🌸💙 (I hope you enjoy this, my love!!!! I haven’t written for Pat for a while so I might be a bit rusty!)💛🥰💕

TW; (minor) argument between Y/N and Pat, miscommunication (this is the basis of the argument), tension (momentary). If I’ve missed anything then please let me know!

Word count: 1, 038.

“Pat, would you just listen to m - “ Your voice rises slightly with frustration and with some kind of urgency for Pat to do as you ask him to, which is simply to listen because he’s labouring under a misunderstanding and you want to correct it, but his dark brown eyes seem to look through you. 

Pat’s beyond the point of listening to you and so angry is he that he’s unable to be his best self for you as he scoffs and leaves the room, his dark curls flying about his face like the strands are electrical currents, so palpable are his emotions in this moment. He storms from the room and his steel toe caps thunder through the house until finally does your bedroom door slam shut so hard that the walls in the living room, where you stand, shake. 

You sigh in defeat, a thick lump of unshed tears in your throat and a prickly heat behind your eyes and nostrils spreads. You wrinkle your nose - you won’t cry. You’re not going to follow him, so knowing are you that when Pat removes himself from a situation, it’s because he’s keeping venom from leaving his tongue; what’s said is said. Even in the worst of moods, Pat wouldn’t want to do you unnecessary harm, and so he silences himself before there’s even a risk of that happening.

You grab your phone as you sit on the sofa and give yourself a small break from the monotony of your daily routine. If you know Pat as well as you’re sure that you do, then he’ll be back within twenty minutes. With a small smile and a lot of anxiety, you force yourself to focus on mindlessly scrolling your socials (the irony doesn’t escape you). 

Just as you get into the rhythm of scrolling without thought and refreshing your feeds every few seconds, cycling are you through the apps on your phone, Pat comes storming into the room and grabs your hand, pulling you up to standing. He seems to be a live wire, his skin almost crawling with energy. His dark curls fly around him as his hand tightly grips yours and without looking back does he walk with you to the bedroom. 

Pat ignores all of your questions and all of your protests; half way to the room do you cease this and simply allow Pat to do as he will; so stubborn is he that he will always get his way. Truthfully would you allow nothing less than this, for there is nothing he could ask which you could ever refuse and the same is equally true in the reverse. You live for each other.

Finally do the both of you reach the bedroom and Pat uses his spare hand to slam the door shut behind you; you are barely in the room for there is a strong gust of wind against your head and you step closer into Pat, not wanting to get your clothes stuck in the door. 

“Pat, what - “ One last attempt to see what Pat was after, but before you could finish your sentence, he grunted and threw himself down on the bed, the look in his eyes making his needs obvious.

You tried to not laugh but you couldn’t help it. “Ohhh ~ ,” You exhaled and made a sound of knowing at the same time. “You want your angry cuddles.” You bit down on your lip to prevent from laughing too much but you had always found it funny when Pat got angry. He just stomped around, made some noise and then demanded for cuddles like he was a belligerent cat. He didn’t like being angry and so he usually calmed down pretty quickly. You came forward and Pat lunged forward and wrapped his arms around you, tugging you down with him onto the bed.

Pat grunts angrily and crushes you to his chest, his breaths deep and long as he forces himself to calm down, as he gets himself reacquainted with what it means to hold you in his arms and to be safe in what the both of you share. He presses a tender yet somehow aggressive kiss to your forehead and rests his chin, the angles of which are sharp, against the crown of your head, and takes another deep breath before he makes another angry noise and rolls so that you’re pressed against the mattress and Pat is hovered over you.

You let him tug you this way and that, used are you to Pat’s angry cuddles. As far as healthy ways of dealing with anger goes, Pat has one of the healthier methods you’ve ever seen. He always lets himself vent his emotions and always will he apologise for negative ones as and when he expresses them to you, even and especially when they’re not actually directed at you. Normally are the both of you efficient at communicating with one another but for some reason today did you just bump heads and so was nothing solved. 

He leans forward and presses his forehead against yours, the fire in his eyes slowly beginning to simmer into a gentle flame. For some reason is there a tugging in your gut and and you begin to speak, your voice just above a whisper as you tell Pat what you had been trying to say before the tension had deafened Pat’s ears to your words only moments ago. He listens to you, inclining his head as he presses kisses to your cheeks, lips, the pulse point on your neck. He hums and makes noises of sympathy and of compassion, so large is his heart, and you know that all is well between you again when his hands slide up, up your body and grip your face. His fingers splay behind your ears and he kisses you so soundly that you quite forget what you were just about to say, and perhaps that had been Pat’s plan all along.

He lives in the moment and dwells not on the past, for it is gone and all he has is right now with you. You’re everything to him, just as he is everything to you.

Patrick Verona  @itsthejoker @royaleclownx   @arianatheangelworld   @scaredclowncat​    @hotpacino  @call-me-harley-quinn @mountainjiwish  @bao-styles

[squishneedsahero]

The Comfort of A Mother

Awesomest of Them All 2.0

Part 11 of 13

Word Count: 1558

Batman x Batmom!Reader

You know what the bat family needs? Someone to pull them together and give them all the love they deserve. Who better to do that than you? An author rising to stardom in Gotham who catches the eye of a billionaire with your standoffish attitude at a huge social gathering. You are yourself and never pretend to be more or less than that. Plus you're the most stubborn person in the world, refusing to let good things go without reason.

This is a rewrite of my story Awesomest of Them All, I wanted to see how much I've improved over 3 years.

As soon as you and your family arrived back home Bruce dove head first into this case, sometimes going for a few days without talking to you more than once or twice. This was usually how things went when there was something big going on, and normally you'd make him pay attention to you at least one every few days. But this case felt different, you felt like he needed this time to work on this one. On top of that you were in the middle of editing another book you'd written so you were able to do something to keep yourself from feeling completely ignored.

It was for weeks on end that life went on like this, and you let it go on for a while, until you had almost finished with editing and noticed that it had been more than a few nights in a row that you had fallen asleep and woken up in bed alone. So tonight after three nights of sleeping alone, it reaches midnight and you make your way down to the cave, knowing your husband had been coming back for Damian to be able to get a reasonable amount of sleep because he had school on the morning, and you wait for him. When they finally arrive back home you're waiting for them, in your pajamas, leaning against the desk of the computer. You had already sent Tim up to bed and volunteered to take over while he got some sleep.

When they get home you give Damian a soft smile as you say, "Sleep well."

He nods in reply and makes his way to change before heading upstairs.

After he's gone you turn to face Bruce, "So, are you going to come to bed dressed like that, or would you like to change?" You cross your arms and give him a look to let him know you're serious about this. "Because as your wife I demand at least 16 hours of your full undivided attention, because it's been weeks."

"Alright, dear," with that he scoops you up in his arms and carries you to your bedroom, still fully dressed as Batman. Once you both make it upstairs he goes and changes into sweatpants and no shirt before coming and lying next to you where he sat you on the bed.

You can tell that he's tired since after he lies down he pulls you against his chest, wrapping his arms and legs around you protectively and doesn't even say anything to you. "I love you," you state and give him a kiss before snuggling fully into him.

--^--^--

You wake up to Bruce running his hand through your hair, and you open your eyes to see his face in front of yours. "Hi, handsome," you say tiredly.

He smiles softly and gives you a kiss, "good morning beautiful."

You smile and roll over so you're lying on top of him, and glance at the clock. "Well, it looks like I still get another four hours of your attention." With that you look back at him and kiss him deeply, and her slides his hands up your shirt against your back, holding you as close as possible, just wanting to feel your body.

--^--^--

A few hours later as you're lying against his side and tracing your fingers on his chest, he says, "Honey, there's something I need to tell you."

You tilt your head just enough to look at his face, "yeah?"

"The first night I didn't come to bed. It was because we were finally able to track down the Redhood. And, well, I'm not sure how to say this any better, The Redhood is Jason. Jason is alive."

You can hardly believe what it is he's telling you, you're just frozen there staring at him until finally you get yourself to ask, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, thats why I've waited this long to tell you. I needed to be sure for you."

Tears form in your eyes, as you look at your husband. He was serious very often but you had rarely ever seen him this serious, the last time you'd seen this look on his face was as he said 'I do'. He kisses you gently, and you can hardly believe it, your baby who you thought you had lost for these few long years was alive. "Why, do I feel like there is something to this you haven't told me? There has to be a reason he hasn't come here."

"There is... I don't know yet how he came back but he did. He's still recovering his memory. And, he's not the same as he was when we lost him, he's killing people... and I confronted him about it," he looks almost ashamed as he says the last part.

"So, now he's mad at you?" you guess, and his slight nod is enough of an answer for you. "Thats alright, we just need patience. You saw what it took for Damian to even come this far, for Dick to finally come back to us. We'll figure it out, him being alive just means we have that chance again," with that you kiss him to let him know you're serious.

--^--^--

You and Bruce had been invited to the policeman's ball for the GCPD and Bruce wasn't able to come so you had gone for the both of you, ugh. The ball was over so you were heading out to your car that was in the parking garage. As you're walking you keep thinking you hear another set of footsteps. They're subtle and anyone who wasn't married to the most paranoid man in the world wouldn't think it was anything, but you did. You kept walking confidently, trying to figure out where it was they were coming from, since there was no one else out here right now since you were leaving early.

As you get to your car the lights in that part of the garage go out. You freeze not moving to unlock your car, just waiting for whoever it was that had been following you to make the first move. You might be wearing a fancy dress and be in heels but that doesn't mean you can't kick ass if you need too. The first move you make is pulling your heels off, giving yourself a weapon, and making it easier in case you needed to run.

Theres a shuffle behind you and you spin around, only to be facing who you could only assume was Redhood, judging by his choice of headgear. You stay still, waiting for him to make the first move, praying that if it really was Jason he'd say something. Slowly he raises his hands, showing they're empty, and removes his helmet, and a mask from under that. Your breath hitches when you see him, he was older, he looked tired, but there was no mistaking him, "Jason," it comes out barely audible.

"Hi, Mama," thats it. That's all he says.

You pause for a split second before dropping your shoes, and taking a step towards him, holding your arms open, asking if it's alright for you to hug him. He closes the rest of the gap as soon as he sees that. And as soon as he's in your arms thats when you break, thats when you start to sob. You both stand there hugging each other tightly, and as you do you can feel him shaking slightly, but you don't say anything, knowing he just needs to let it out.

Eventually both of you pull away slightly, and you look up at him, he'd gotten so tall, but that doesn't stop you from giving him a motherly kiss on the forehead and holding his cheeks so you can look in his eyes. "Can I ask what happened, or not right now?" You ask this quietly as you look at his eyes, they aren't blue anymore they're an eerie shade of green, and they look hurt, he has this deep pain behind them that isn't just going to go away over night.

"Not right now, please, I just wanted to see you."

"Thats alright, my Jay-bear."

He seems a little startled by the nickname, it had been years since you'd called him that, since anyone had.

"What?" You say raising an eyebrow, "you know you'll always be my little Jay-bear even if you are taller than me now. Is it alright if I tell Bruce I saw you, or would you rather I didn't?" You ask this without explaining why you'd even wonder this.

A small smile comes to his face and he hugs you tightly once again. "You can, it'll be better than him figuring it out himself," a pause before letting go, "I should probably get going... I'll see you around though right ma?"

"Of course you will, my phone number hasn't changed it you need anything. And I can keep a secret at least for a while, so don't go sending me your address, but if you tell me when and where we can meet up." With that you hug him one last time and watch as he puts his mask and helmet back on and he makes sure you get into your car safely and as you head home he heads off into the night.

[drabbles-mc]

Sorry For What?

Happy Lowman x F!Reader

Request from Anon: So if I may request one with happy; slightly angsty, him and reader are fighting, he’s getting turned on, she’s getting angry and he thinks there’s gonna be hate/ fight sex but she’s not having it and pushes him away. Tells him sex won’t solve things this time and banishes him to the couch. Happy sulking, apologizing and fluff ending. 😊

Warnings: language, angst, Happy being stubborn and emotionally illiterate

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: Happy thinking he can use sex to get out of an argument is totally a thing lmao

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“That’s not my fault!” you hated yelling but your patience had long since run out, “It’s not my fucking job to be there at your every beck and call.”

Happy stepped in closer to you, his voice wasn’t loud but his tone was sharp enough to cut you like a knife, “You’re supposed to be my old lady. You get what that means? Means you’re supposed to fuckin—”

“Stop!” you cut him off, shaking your head, “Don’t give me that shit. I’m not your servant, I’m not your maid, I’m not your fucking mother. I’m my own person,” you pressed your hand to his chest, “I choose to share my life with you. As a partner. I might be your old lady but you don’t fucking own me, Happy.”

“If you don’t wanna be there, then why are we doing this?” he motioned back and forth between the two of you.

You leaned back, eyes narrowing, “Is that what you got from what I just said?” you shook your head, “Look. I know how the other guys speak to and treat their women. And if they’re all alright with that then…fine. But that’s not me. And you knew that from the jump. I have my own shit going on and I can’t just sit at home all the time and wait for you to need something from me so I can feel like I have a fucking sense of purpose. You’re an important part of my life, Hap, but you’re not the whole thing. Same way I’m not yours.”

“I needed you.”

“And I couldn’t make it!” you snapped, “And I know that sucks. But don’t pretend that the roles haven’t ever been reversed. Why do you get a fucking pass on that, huh?”

He erased what little distance was left between the two of you. You could practically feel the heat radiating off of his body the angrier he got. His eyes bore into yours, “Because if I step away someone gets fucking shot.”

You nodded, “And that’s the life that you chose. It’s not a blanket excuse for every time you fuck up, though.”

“Why do you stick around then?”

“Because I love you!” you fought the urge to shove him in the chest, “Even when you’re being an asshole!”

You took a breath, trying to get yourself together. You weren’t used to yelling so much. It wasn’t often that you were this pissed off—your fights with Happy were usually small and over quickly. But this time it hit the wrong nerve with you and you needed to allow your blood to boil for a little bit. Sometimes he forgot that you had a temper too—yours just didn’t make you kill people.

Happy reached forward to cup your face in his hand, his other gripping onto your hip to pull you closer. He was about to lean in and kiss you but you pushed him away, “Stop.” You saw the confused look on his face and shook your head, “Sex is not on the table for you right now. This argument isn’t over.”

“Yea, I was trying to end it.”

You laughed, unable to do much else. You looked up at him, “Have you heard anything that I’ve fucking said, Happy?” the silence that followed spoke volumes, “You’re fucking unbelievable sometimes!”

“I never said you had to be done being mad at me.”

You raised your eyebrows, “Trust me. You don’t want me anywhere near your dick right now. Won’t end well for you.”

You turned and went to walk away but he reached forward and grabbed your arm, pulling you back towards him. You twisted your arm hard to get it out of his grasp and the look of shock on his face was priceless. He really thought that he was getting out of this argument with you with sex. Not that that hadn’t been an effective tactic in the past, but you were too pissed for that to be a viable solution now.

“And for that you can sleep on the fucking couch tonight,” you snapped.

“Y/N…” there was a hint of warning in his voice.

You didn’t say anything in response. Instead, you opted to walk away towards your shared bedroom, slamming the door behind you to really drive the point home. It only took a few moments for you to be able to hear the sound of the television filling the house. Happy might’ve been stubborn but at least he knew well enough to give you some time to cool off before he came and tried to talk to you again. Hopefully this time around he’d realize he was actually going to have to talk.

You’d lost track of how long you had been laid up in bed. You had your headphones in, a mellow playlist on while you read your book. Your anger had mostly subsided for the time being, allowing you to focus on something other than the fact that you had been this close to telling Happy he could sleep at the clubhouse for the night.

There was a faint noise that was coming in over the music you were listening to. You took one headphone out and realized it was the sound of Happy knocking on the bedroom door. You sighed as you set your phone and book off to the side.

“Yea?”

He slowly opened the door and poked his head inside. His expression was neutral, like it almost always was, “I don’t wanna sleep on the couch.”

You arched one eyebrow, “Tough shit.”

He walked completely into the room, “C’mon, don’t be like that.”

“Like what? I’m allowed to be mad at you, Happy.”

“I don’t want you to be.”

“Well,” you shrugged, “I am.”

There were a few beats of silence before he finally spoke up again, clearly trying to choose his words carefully, “I’m sorry.”

You had to admit that you were impressed. Blatant apologies like that were never his strong suit. Still, you pressed him for more, “For?”

“For making you mad.”                                                    

You chuckled—it wasn’t an inaccurate apology. As much as you wanted to stay mad you found yourself smiling a little bit, “You really don’t wanna sleep on the couch, huh?”

He shook his head, “No.”

You sighed but gestured for him to come closer. When he reached the side of your bed you motioned for him to stop before getting in, “No more trying to use sex to get out of tough conversations, Hap,” you saw the disbelieving look on his face, “I’m serious!”

“What’s considered tough?”

You laughed, resting your head back against the headboard, “If me being pissed off was put to a scale of one to ten, if I’m above a…five? No using sex to get out of conversations.”

“Five?”

“Listen, I was easily at least at a seven tonight. You’re lucky you came away unscathed.”

“Do I get to sleep in here with you tonight?”

“I’m still mad. You don’t get to just talk to me like that. That’s not what we do here,” you gestured between the two of you.

He wasn’t always the best at expressing himself verbally, but you could see it in his eyes that he knew that he struck a very raw nerve with you. “I’m sorry. I’ll…I’ll do better.”

You nodded, “Good,” only then did you pat the spot on the bed next to you, “Come on, then. Get in here and stop looking at me with those sad angry eyes.”

He let a smile cross his face for a moment as he stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed beside you. He shimmied down and let his face come level with yours. You reached out, gently running your fingertips along the stubble that coated his face. You could tell from the tension in his body that he was fighting the urge to reach out and touch you.

You let out a chuckle at his hesitancy, “Does Happy Lowman want to…cuddle?”

“Shut up.”

Your chuckle shifted into a genuine laugh, “Are you nervous to cuddle with me?”

“You said—”

“I know,” you patted his chest lightly, “I know. Come here,” you rested your hand on the back of his neck and pulled him close to you, pressing a light kiss to his lips, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Even when I’m mad at you.”

The remark got him to smile. He rested his forehead against yours and let his arms snake around your waist. Heat bled over from his skin into yours and you felt yourself melting into him despite the fact that you had been ready to kick him out not too long before.

“So you’re set on five?” he mumbled.

You laughed, nodding, “Yea. Don’t push your luck about it.”

He chuckled, kissing your forehead, “Fine.”

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 99: Risk

"No!" Harry said, shaking his head fervently before he started coughing.

Draco was up out of his seat in a heartbeat, bringing Harry the glass of water from the side table and easing him back against the mattress, "Relax."

He glared at Draco as he tried to regulate his breathing, his heart thudding and tripping disconcertingly in his chest. When he finally managed to get a breath in after taking a drink, he tried to find that calm, quiet place inside of him before he said, "It isn't worth the risk."

"It's not your decision," Draco replied. Then as Harry opened his mouth to argue he added, "Stay calm please, love."

Harry took a slow deep breath, controlling his breathing so that he wouldn't start coughing again. "I won't accept it." He could do that, he could tell the healers that he wouldn't accept the spell. Just let the curse he'd been hit with kill him.

He smiled at Harry, "Salazar, I love you," he murmured, "You're such a stubborn arse," he added, pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead.

"I'm serious," Harry protested.

The corner of his mouth tipped up, "Right but eventually you'll go into cardiac arrest and then all of the decisions for your health care come to me."

"I'll have it changed," he said stubbornly.

"Do you know any other solicitors?" Draco teased.

"It's not funny," he pouted.

(Read more below the cut)

"I know, darling," Draco replied. "I know this is serious."

"I can't risk losing you," Harry said, "I'd rather die-"

"And you think I wouldn't?" he interrupted.

"But-"

Draco shook his head, "No buts. This is the best way, the only way that we might both make it."

Harry glared down at his hands folded in his lap. There had to be another way. There had to be.

"They know what they're doing Harry. And we both know if the roles were reversed you would have already knocked me out to be able to cast the spell to fix my heart." He brushed Harry's hair off his forehead.

"Promise me," Harry said, "If it starts to feel like you aren't going to be able to do it, that it's not going to work, you'll let me go."

"Cross my heart," Draco replied.

He rolled his eyes, "You're lying through your teeth."

Draco just gave him a little smile, "I'm going to fetch healer Francis, alright?"

"Kiss me first," Harry demanded.

"Oh if you insist," Draco replied, leaning over the bed so he could kiss Harry softly.

Harry wrapped his fingers in Draco's shirt, pulling him closer for a long moment. He tried not to let the fear he was feeling overwhelm him but it seemed to be a bit of a losing battle.

----------

Twenty minutes later, Healer Francis was standing at the end of Harry's bed, reviewing the procedure for casting the highly complex spell with Draco.

"Isn't there anyone else who could do it?" Harry asked.

"The directions clearly say the person who loves you best in all the world," Draco replied.

"I wasn't asking you," Harry said, rubbing a hand over his chest were a dull, throbbing ache had started to spread.

"I'm afraid he's correct Mr. Potter," the healer replied gently. "Your husband makes the most sense."

Harry stared at the healer, "If it comes down to saving one of us, you save Draco, alright?"

"Harry," Draco said softly, "It's time to let it go. Have a little faith, you're supposed to be good at that aren't you?" he teased.

"I am not afraid to die," Harry replied and the little grin on Draco's face dropped away. "But I am terrified of you dying."

"The feeling is mutual, my darling."

Harry started to cough, as a warning spell that had been monitoring his began blaring an alert.

"Alright, gentlemen," the healer said. "We need to get started, the window is closing for this to work. Mr. Potter please don't forget that you need to be very still and very calm no matter what; if you start to panic or break your husband's concentration it could kill both of you."

"Lovely," he rasped.

"Shut it," Draco said, kissing Harry on the tip of his nose. "Love you," he whispered.

"Love you, too."

Draco took a step back and drew his wand and the healer held the spell book for him to read. He took a deep breath and Harry watched as he began the complicated wand motions, saying "Cor meum ad te deserant circumda tibi, quia tu me sit vivere, aut mori."

The pressure on Harry's chest began to lift as though he'd been lying under a pile of bricks. He took a shuddering, gasping breath and watched in rapt fascination as gold ribbons of light trailed out of Draco's wand and into his chest.

Draco repeated, "Cor meum ad te deserant circumda tibi, quia tu me sit vivere, aut mori." as he continued to move his wand in the pattern necessary.

His rib cage opened up, expanding as he took the first truly deep breath he'd been able to take in days.

"Cor meum ad te deserant circum-" Draco started again before he broke of, his face tight with pain.

Francis held out a hand to stop Harry for moving, reminding him of what he'd said before.

After another heartbeat that seemed to last an eternity, Draco continued, "-da tibi, quia tu me sit vivere, aut mori."

The gold of the spell illuminated the entire room, one blinding flash of light that lasted far too long for Harry's liking, the burden that had settled on his chest lifted and he knew the curse was gone.

When the light from the spell began to dissipate, Harry blinked and saw that Draco was on the floor in a crumpled heap. Without thinking, he jumped out of bed and pulled the other man into his arms, "Draco?" he asked desperately, turning his face up so he could see him.

"It's alright," the other man rasped and Harry tugged him even closer. "I'm okay," he repeated.

"You scared me half to death."

"Only half?" Draco asked, "You must feel better than you have in a week, then."

"Shut up," he huffed.

The healer cleared his throat, "We need to run a few tests."

Harry wasn't quite ready to let go of Draco but the other man pressed a kiss to his shoulder and murmured, "We'll have all of the time in the world later."

---------------

Later, once they been declared healthy and fit to leave, they laid cuddled up in bed together, the duvet wrapping them up in a cozy cocoon, Harry asked, "What were the words of the incantation?" as he trailed his fingers over Draco's petal soft skin. "What did they mean?"

Draco smiled sleepily, his eyes closed, "You were always pants at Latin."

He huffed, "It's a dead language."

"Not for wizards."

He nudged Draco's nose with his own. "Are you going to tell me?"

"Cor meum ad te deserant circumda tibi, quia tu me sit vivere, aut mori." Draco repeated, "It means 'My own heart to thee I bind, that thou should live or I should die.'"

"What?" Harry asked, pulling back to look at his husband, his life, "That's horrible! I can't believe you said that!"

He hummed sleepily, apparently not at all perturbed. "Not to be dramatic," he broke off to yawn, "but a world without you in it isn't a world that I want to live in."

"You're a mad man," Harry grumbled feeling equal parts grateful and terrified at being loved that much.

"Mmm," Draco hummed, tugging Harry back down and into his arms. "You and I both know you would have said the same if the roles were reversed."

"They almost were," he said. "Seeing you on the ground-"

"I'm fine," he soothed, brushing his nose back and forth against Harry's. "I'm fine and you are too, and we're both going to live long lives. I have every intention of growing old with you."

He tightened his hold around Draco, "Me too, love. Me too."

------------

Day 98: Reading, Nervous, Unabashedly, and Shy | Day 100: Skinny Dipping

[echos-newlegs]

Can i request number 4 from the angst prompts list with Crosshair? In the mood to get my heart broken lmao thanks x

You Scare Me

Sure thing, but also, I felt that.

Sorry if this is messy and his character is- off. Just took a benadryl and felt like writing before I dozed off 🕴 hope this isn't that bad.

Crosshair x Reader: "I don't care about you, no one does."

Warnings: Angsty, not too bad though. His character may be a bit off? Still getting down his character, tbh.

Word count: 1.6k

You stood in the doorway. Looking at the sniper who had his back to you. Sitting in a chair leant forward as he stared down at his feet.

"What do you want?" 

His voice was harsh and bitter. You weren't sure what happened between you two, or what you did. But as of late he had been.. Distant. 

The two of you used to be so close. It wasn't a talkative close, but more of an affectionate one. A close that had the both of you comforted and feeling love from both sides. 

"I want to know if you're okay?" You spoke. Still standing in the doorway. Too afraid to step further inside. No, you weren't afraid he'd hurt you. You were just afraid he would shut you out. 

"I'm fine," he spat. 

You flinched just a bit at his words. Frowning  as you shuffled your feet. "Cross.. I know that's not true, but-" 

"But what?" He snapped. Standing from his chair to turn and face you. 

He got closer to you. Backing you up into the wall as he stared down into your eyes. Your brows furrowed in concern. 

"But what, huh? But you're here for me? But you care? What is it?" He sneered. 

Your eyes were full of hurt and concern. Searching his for the issue. 

"But I do. I am here for you and I do care." You spoke. Keeping your voice soft. 

"Why have you been so distant lately? Just answer that and I'll leave." 

Your words made him ponder for a bit. He seemed to be genuinely at a loss for words. As if he didn't even know. 

"Cross, I love you, you know that right?" He furrowed once more at those words. You bit your tongue, you stepped a bit too far over his line. 

"Love?" He chuckled. Looking back to your face. "You don't love me, just like I don't care about you, no one does." 

His voice was low. It wasn't true, you both knew it, but it was still enough for the tears to flow down your face in wavy patterns. Your breathing going jagged. 

"You don't mean that," he knew you were insecure when it came to how others felt about you. You always felt you weren't enough. Your chest ached with worry if someone even stared your way too long. 

His expression faltered a bit. A look of apology making an appearance for a second, before fading back to his glare. 

"See, you're weak and flawed. Who would want to love that?" He barked. 

You looked down, letting out a small chuckle that seemed to catch him off guard. 

"Says the one who chases away everyone. All because they're trying to help." Your voice cracked a bit. Before you pushed past him to head out of the ship. 

He didn't even chase after you. He only stood back and watched you leave. 

"Where's y/n?" Tech was the first to notice your absence. Especially when Crosshair left his room without you. 

It wasn’t like you were both attached at the waist, but you did happen to hang around each other a lot. Your presence was all he needed to feel at home. But apparently that wasn't enough anymore. 

Crosshair looked up to his brother when he stood in front of him. Arms crossed. "Crosshair, Where's y/n?" Tech asked. Hunter, Echo, and Wrecker looking to the slimmer male with concerned expressions. 

"She left," was all he said before he pushed past the slightly broader male. 

"What do you mean, 'she left,'?" Hunter asked. Now following his brother. You were one of them. With or without crosshair, they treated you like their own. You were a friend and you'd saved all of them at least once or twice out on the field or just from wounds that could have killed them. 

"Is she okay?" Echo asked, and Crosshair groaned. Turning to face them all. 

"We got in an argument okay? I told her I didn't care about her. Is that what you wanted to hear?" He snapped. 

Everyone stared at him in shock. 

"You did what?" Hunter asked. Wrecker following echo. "We'll find her, Sarg." And with that those two were off to look for you. 

"Tech, go check the transmissions. Make sure she hasn't tried to contact us." Hunter ordered, and his younger vod nodded as he headed off into the other room. Leaving Hunter and Crosshair alone. 

"Why would you do that?" He snapped. Noticing Crosshairs' look of guilt. "She's nothing but sweet, 'nd kind, 'nd all around loving towards you. Hell, she does love you and you know it." 

Crosshair let out a long sigh. Rubbing his forearm. "I know," "then why say you don't care about her?"

There was a long pause. Until he turned to head towards the exit for the Marauder. "Because I may as well hurt her now before it's too far along." 

Hunter grunted, grabbing him by the shoulder to stop him. "No, you better find her and at least apologize. She thinks the world of you and I know you think the same of her. I can sense it for kriffs sake. I know it's scary, but we're clones. We don't get many admirers, you need to cherish this for now." He speeched. Crosshair tugging himself from Hunter's grip. "Fine." 

You were in the old tree hut the six of you found on the planet you were sent to scout. Just as Echo assumed you would be. He knew you better than the rest. You knew each other from the 501st, after all. 

"Y/n.." he called, and you inhaled. Watching as Wreckers head peaked through the entryway. "You were right, She's here!" He shouted as you moved to stand. 

'Hey, hey, are you alright?" The pale trooper asked, and you merely nodded. Rubbing your eyes. "We heard what he said to you." Wrecker piped. 

You frowned, looking down. 

"It ain't true, you know." 

You shrugged, scuffing your feet. "It sure felt like it was." You spoke quietly. Looking up to Echo and Wrecker. 

"If I know my brother, and I do." Wrecker started. Approaching you slowly. "He does care about you. He's just scared." 

You chuckled. Wiping a few more tears away that fell. "Scared? So saying no one cares about me is how he shows fear? Good to know." 

"Y/n, it's not just fear. He does care, he just doesn't want you too attached in case something happens. I've watched him long enough to know this." Echo spoke. Reaching out to pull you in for a hug. Which you gladly accepted. Chuckling as Wrecker pulled the two of you closer for a group hug, as he proclaimed. 

"He talks about you when we go to 79s and you stay back on the ship, or at the barracks. He says how," "no other girl can down a shot like you can." Crosshair interrupted from behind. Causing you all to look towards the entrance. 

"How sweet," you spoke, though your voice was laced with sarcasm. They all picked up on it. 

"I talk about how it's no fun without you. Too. You make everything fun." He admitted, and you shuffled your feet some more as Echo and Wrecker stepped aside. Watching as Crosshair neared. 

"And I don't talk about feelings much, you know this best." You nodded at his words. Watching as he side eyed his brothers and they left the hut. 

"Y/n," you refused to meet his eyes. Until his hand reached out to cup your face. To which you glared at him and flinched away. 

"Why are you here? Thought you didn’t care about me. No one does." He sighed. Licking his lips as he watched you. 

"You're stubborn, you know that?" "Go fuck yourself," you spat. Crossing your arms before turning away from him. 

He sighed. Rubbing the side of his head. "It ain't the same without you, though," you rolled your eyes at that. "What do you want? If Hunter sent you here don't bother. I know your words are probably forced." 

He sighed again. Pulling you back into his chest. Which you squirmed to get out of. But his grip only tightened. 

"Please just listen," he requested. 

You decided to still in his grasp. Which told him you were cooperating, a little. 

"What I said earlier, I didn't mean it." 

"It still hurt," you snapped. 

"I know it did, but I'm just scared to get too attached. I'm a clone. I was built for war, not life." 

You felt a wave of guilt rush over you. 

"Forgive me?" He questioned. "I need you," he finished. 

You pondered, then leant back against his chest. "I will, but you can’t do that anymore. You scared me and.. You hurt me. You know I already feel like no one cares about me, and that the world's out to get me. Stars, that's where we're similar." You told him, and he only nodded. Hiding his face in the crook of your neck. "Won't happen again." He spoke. Kissing the skin that bridged from your neck to your shoulder. 

You exhaled. Craning your head to the side. "If it does, I won't be this willing to come back." He hummed at that. It was an agreeing, 'I know,' sort of hum. As he rested himself against your back. 

"Can we head back?" He asked, and you nodded. "Sure, but I'm still mad." He shrugged. "I know, I'll make up for it." "You better, I thought I lost you over something I did." 

Crosshair shook his head in disagreement. Turning you so he could pull you in for a proper hug. Resting his chin on top if your head. Standing like this for a moment before pulling you back to tug you back to the marauder. To which he drug you to his room to hold you in his bed. Not letting you go until Hunter insisted the both of you eat. 

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

Heated argument

Summary: You x Chris have a terrible fight, and in You x Chris have a terrible fight, and in the heat of the moment, Chris says he sometimes wishes he never married you. When you both hear the shape intake of breath, you turn and see your five kids looking at you in shock. They run to your oldest child's room and lock the door. Your 3 oldest kids know that if you and Chris never married, they would not exist and think it means he doesn't love them. You and Chris put aside your differences and try and talk to the kids he doesn't love them. You and Chris put aside your differences and try and talk to the kids.

Warning: angst, fluff towards the end

Word count: 1k

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

I'm dropping goldfish hints Now!!

Fighting between you and Chris was rare but when it happens it is ugly. There wasn't any loud screaming, or you both being physical. It was more of you both being extremely stubborn and inconsiderate of each other's feelings. It was a mess.

It was 7 in the evening, the sun was down and you and Chris were in the kitchen making dinner. you and Chris may be in the same room but you were ignoring each other. It all started that morning when you both were talking about how you both barely spend time with each other. It soon spiraled into you being clingy and Chris not wanting to be with you anymore. None of it was true but you both were too stubborn.

Chris exhaled for the 700th Time that evening. He wanted to talk about this but he definitely didn't want to argue. You on the other hand had enough of the silence. You sat down your knife.

"Why don't you want to spend time with me?" Chris groaned, throwing his head back. "Come on. I never said that, don't even act like I did." You scoffed. "You didn't answer my question earlier and now you're still not going to answer it? Why?" You walked up beside him and looked at him. His eyes didn't meet yours.

"I don't have to answer anything y/n. God, why are you so clingy?" You laughed,"I'm clingy; all I want to know why you barely spend time with me. What's so fucking hard about that Christopher? What, you don't love me anymore? Is that it?"

Neither you or Chris noticed four of your five kids gathering at the door. And before Chris could think he blurted out the words he regretted.

"I wish I never fucking married you. So fucking clingy, I knew it was a fucking mistake."

Your kids gasped, their hands clasping over their mouths. You and Chris looked towards the doorway seeing them. Your heart broke into pieces at not only Chris's words, but also the fact that your babies witnessed it.

They were quick to scramble away from the door. You decided that you had enough as well; you walked to the back door needing air? Chris wasn't sure if who he should chase after. He wanted to talk to his kids but he needed to apologize to you more than anything. He took a deep breath before he walked to the back door.

He could hear your soft cries which made him feel guilty more than he was before. He shutted the door before calling out for you. "Baby." He saw your silhouette in the corner of the back yard. He walked over to you gently reaching out.

"Honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

You swatted his hand away, sniffling. "Yes you did. If you didn't want to marry me you should've said so." You rushed out as you wiped your tears away. Chris shook his head even though you couldn't see it in the dark. "No, no marrying you wasn't a mistake. I said that in the heat of the moment and I swear baby I didn't mean it."

Chris walked closer to you but not touching you. "I'm so lucky I married you. You gave me 5 beautiful kids and you make me so happy baby I swear? I'm an idiot, I screwed up and you can call me out for it, but please don't think I don't love you. That's not true."

You looked over at Chris. Even though it was dark you knew he was in tears. You couldn't stay mad at him. His words were genuine and you knew it. You took the couple steps in front of you and buried your head in his chest. Chris wrapped his arms around you, "I'm so sorry." You Mumbled an it's okay into his chest, wanting to forget about it. Chris rubbed your back as you pulled away shortly after.

"We should go talk to the kids. They're probably terrified" Chris nodded, "yeah let's do that." Chris took your hand in his and walked back in the house with you. You both made your way upstairs where your kids were hiding. You check all your young kids for them but they’re nowhere to be seen.

You walked back out into the hallway to see Chris gently knock on your oldest door. “Come on, open the door.” you a low no came from the other side. You walked up beside Chris, “open the door please. We need to talk.” you said as you looked up at chris.

You both heard some footsteps and whispering, before the door unlocked and opened revealing your oldest, Nora. You and Chris walked into the room seeing your kids all sitting on the bed. Chris was the first to speak.

“I’m sorry that you all had to witness that ok. Sometimes as adults we have arguments but I didn’t mean anything I said in there.” he looked at all of his kids, he hoped they would forgive him but they still had doubts.

“But you said that you wish you never married mommy, and if you didn’t marry mommy then you wouldn’t have us. Do you not love us?” your third(oldest) nadia asked.

Chri heart string was being tugged on. He definitely didn’t mean for things to happen at all. He walked up to them, kneeling right in front of them. “That’s not true, I promise. I don’t regret marrying mommy. When you’re in the heat of the moment you say things you don’t mean and definitely didn’t mean what I said.”

Chris reached out for you which made you walk up to them. “I love you all so much and I hope you can forgive me.”

Your kids looked at their dad. “It’s okay, we forgive you daddy.” your 4 year old, nathaniel said as he walked over to chris. He gave him a hug which then all the kds joined in. Chris smiled as he hugged them. Chris couldn’t help but pull you in.

He still had a lot of making up to do with you but he’ll have to wait till you both were with no kids for that.

--

Yes I did threw future goldfish!

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