#‘mad stubborn lovely girl’ what if i died. what if this killed me

[arithmonym]

no one talk to me i’m thinking about Them again

[helloledena]

Uh-oh... I'm falling in love~

Synopsis: Kakashi though he had everything under control, especially his feelings. But one ninja from Village hidden in mist was enough to change that. Oh how wrong he was...

Pairing: Kakashi x Reader (but in Kakashi's pov 🙂‍↕️)

Content: fem! reader, slow burn, strangers to "something" to lovers, light smut, mention of depression, lot's of thoughts, lot's of confusion.

Word count: 8.3k (😬)

A/N: Kakashi's character is so complex and hot and hard to write and hot and tragic but hot, so yeah, love him so much *.*

pervert.

When the saleswoman at his favorite bookstore gave him a raised eyebrow, all Kakashi could do was smile while scratching the back of his head in a manner that reeked of humor.

"I understand why you wanted to read Make-out Paradise… but now even the other two books?"

"What can I say, it really drew me in."

"And.. you say you've read it..."

"Yes, I've read it three times already, I think it's time to find out what happens in the sequel, don't you think? Hahaha" he let his body wiggle a little, and his free eye rolled up into a smile.

"Pervert," the girl muttered as she slid off the counter and went to get more books.

The ninja tiredly scanned the other books on display on the counter. The well-known novel "Life of a shinobi: Honor or Death" caught his eye. With a soft sigh, he picked up the book, turned it upside down, and began to stare at the wall clock that didn't actually work.

He would never admit it out loud, but reading an erotic novel, in which the most exciting thing is actually the various lovemaking positions, had become his new favorite way to distract himself. The distraction from the dead bodies he was cleaning after massacre several months prior; from the feeling of total guilt of allowing Itachi, the boy with soft eyes and always a calm expression on his face Itachi, to go and slaughter everyone in his clan; from death of his friends..

Not to speak of it, he realized that nothing calmed him as much as re-reading the same book with the light and warm plot. The fact that he could relive what he knew would end well gave him a sense of comfort that he hadn't experienced in a long time. Life was bearable again. Just a bit. Just a little bit more, he didn't want to kill himself.

"Your books,"  mumbled the saleswoman into her chin, still clearly under the impression, as she quickly took the money from him "enjoy the rest of your day."

"Thank you. Be sure that I will. Ha! I mean... not in that way..." the now blushing girl looked at him as if he had gone completely mad. He felt his own cheeks slowly warming up "well, anyway... I'm going now. You! You have a nice day... really nice day..."

His smiling aura slid at a moment as he left the shop. He put the third part of “Make-Out” in his shoulder bag, while opening the second one as he walked slowly in an unknown direction. What is he gonna do now? Maybe he should go to get some ramen? But he failed to keep Obito's promise, he couldn't save Rin from death, his father wasn't there to see how much he had progressed. Perhaps he could go back to that cursed rock again. Yeah, that seems like better idea.

"Kakashi!!!" he heard Gai shouting for him from a distance "my eternal rival!!!! Come! Let’s see who can drink more sake before nightfall!!"

But he just continued walking, looking at the first page of the book. He reminded himself that if he does not get involved no one would die because of him. If he doesn't intervene, it wouldn't hurt as much if someone from them died. If he doesn't get involved, perhaps those damn stubborn people would finally realize how truly awful person he is.

When he reached the next corner between streets, he was about to run the rest of the way, but a melodic voice froze him in his tracks.

"Are ninjas in this silly village not taught manners?" He turned and saw a girl leaning against one of the buildings at the corner. How, in the hell, hadn't he noticed her presence before? He decided to let his visible eye wander into a something that seemed like smile.

"I really don’t know what you’re talking about…"

"Pfft" the girl continued to lean her head against the wall, staring at Kakashi with a smirk on her face; her relaxed body language contradicted the words she spoke to him, as if she wasn't intimidated in the slightest "The famous copy ninja Kakashi Hatake, known to all bounty hunters, his name written in more bingo books than can be counted... Yet, you appear to be even more of a creep than the old man who wrote that perversion you're reading"

Kakashi felt strange at her words, gripping his kunai knife tightly in the pocket of his pants. Was she an enemy? He quickly surveyed the area suspiciously as he seemed to be merely searching for a more comfortable way to stand. Hidden Mist Village headband... what the hell?

"Well.." now he was looking cautiously in the direction of the girl "you talk about manners, and you didn't introduced yourself... very hypocritical, don't you think?"

"Hmmm" the girl smiled again, and then pulled out a scroll from her pocket that opened in front of Kakashi "I have permission. And besides, I'm done with my work for now, so I’ll be leaving today. I was just wondering if you really are as cold hearted as everyone says..."

"And?" he looked away from the scroll, returning his gaze to the book that he still held open in his left hand "are they right?"

"I can only say that I'm disappointed" he felt the girl shrug her shoulders "well, see you next time, pervert."

He just hummed. Before he turned and continued walking towards that cursed, stupid rock, he heard the voice again.

"Oh, and did you hear," he looked and she was smiling very widely; something hot filled his stomach "that now the 4th part is being written? I mean, the creepy old man... you already know who I'm talking about."

She winked and disappeared from his sight as silently as she had come. As he continued to observe the now empty space where she had been a second ago, he felt feverishly lucky that he had not learned the girl's name. And if something happened to her, her name would not appear before his eyes in his nightmares.

mercy.

It was the 4th day of the chunin exams and Kakashi couldn't sit and wait any longer. The link with the birds that were relaying information about the happenings had been cut since Orochimaru had magically appeared, then disappeared. He felt nervous. He felt nervous and noticed that it came out in the way he peeled an orange, in the way he would grip the doorknob when he left the room to get some air, and in the way his leg bounced every now and then.

Perhaps he shouldn't have been so harsh with Iruka a few days earlier, saying that his students were now warriors. But he knew that if he had shown even a fraction of the insecurity he felt, his decision would not have carried the authority that now have. So because he wanted his ego to remain intact he left the company of the other jonin, who would probably feel his nervousness at any moment, then climbed onto the roof of the Hokage building and let the sun caress him.

They have the best chance to survive in the shinobi world if they ruthlessly face every obstacle. They have the best chance to survive in the shinobi world if they ruthlessly face every obstacle. I did not send them to their deaths. I did not send them to their deaths. Kakashi repeated those sentences to himself more than he would like to admit.

With big sigh he opened the 3rd book of Make-Out and stared blankly at the pages.

"Hahahaha, wait, wait, you're still reading that nonsense? How long has it been? 4 years?"

His smile curved beyond his will, though she didn't see it because of his mask. He didn't hear her when she got closer to him, like few years prior. How wonderful...

"And who are you?" he looked at her now with his head tilted to the side.

"Oh, that hurts, you know" said the girl with a sneer in her voice, sliding next to him "I know I'm not that *ultra famous* like you are, but we've already met. Plus even I have a target on my head now. These criminals' bingo books, blah blah" and Kakashi was aware of that. When he was in the Land of Waves on a mission with his team, about a month ago, he took Zabuza's bingo book with him. As he flipped through the pages he saw a familiar face, although for a moment he was slightly unsure if it was the girl he met a few years ago. The scar on her cheek was new...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: y/n

Rank: unknown, approach with caution

Village of Origin: A Hidden Mist village, Land of Water

Known Techniques: water manipulation, blood manipulation

Orders: wanted dead or alive

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah, many new faces lately..." he cooed while watching over village in those quiet moments. How the hell she keep finding him when he is alone? And he didn’t have much alone time since becoming leader od Team 7.

"By the way, your kids are holding up well there, as far as I could see" - now he looked at her "if I hadn't seen other things in my life, I would say that they are very young. But we both know it could have been worse. They'll finish the obstacle... they had that crazy determined look in their eyes about half a day ago."

"Search birds are not working for 3 days now."

"Ah well, we "watermen" don't use birds for surveillance. That's what you should have learned at your sweet little academy."

"The fact that you're not on the organizing team for this exams and yet have your own means of monitoring shouldn't surprise me?" Kakashi knew more than he asked. The ninja of the Village Hidden in the Mist were not at all interested in the official ninja ranking that the other villages held so dearly. They were ruthless warriors, deadly as soon as they left the academy, probably even then at chunin level. Now this is simply gathering information… he was aware of that from the moment the first registration from that village for the chunin exams in the last 7 years came. Only Kakashi wanted to know why…

"You know" the girl now closed her eyes and laid so still for a few minutes that the copy ninja thought she fell asleep "even though the rest of the ninjas in my village are furious because of what happened to Zabuza, I'm very grateful to you. I mean, I really wasn't the least bit touched by anything that happened to that... that.. him. But the way you treated Haku's body…"

Kakashi felt his stomach acid rising in his throat. Haku... another mistake of his. Another victim of chidori that shouldn't have been. Haku had a soul as pure as snow, Haku should have escaped... Haku shouldn't have ended up like Rin.

"In any case" now she opened her eyes, slightly teary, keeping Kakashi rooted in place "you showed mercy that our village has not experienced in a long time. Thank you for that. Especially since it was a boy who was kind."

Kakashi let out a soft breath although to his ears it was almost as loud as a scream. No one had ever seen him that way. No one had ever called him merciful... He felt dizzy... what the hell was this woman doing to him...

"Didn't you say last time that you made sure I'm cold-blooded like everyone says?"

"I think I actually said that I was disappointed. And by disappointed, I meant that I was expecting someone with a dirty aura, and I got something completely opposite."

Kakashi hummed, now loking at the village. But still feeling her eyes on him.

"And didn't you say you don't remember me?"

"Huh. Tushe."

stupid distraction.

Ever since he saw y/n at the time of chunin exams, Kakashi actually, even 6 months later, hasn't stopped seeing her. It turns out that y/n has actually been in high demand in the Lands of Water since last January, with a huge bounty on her head. Words circulated that with her blood manipulation, she forced the Mizukage's own brother to cut himself bit by bit with his blade until he died by his own hand in a pool of blood. Rumor has it that she left a letter written in his blood which said that his death was compensation for the rape of the girls from the Village Hidden in the Mist, one of whom is her cousin. Since blood revenge is completely justified in the villages of more southern longitude, the Mizukage made all the criminals of those villages duty to kill y/n on the spot or bring her alive. That's why she is in all bingo books.

He hadn't heard much about on whose permission she was in Konoha before, but when Tsunade came back and became Hokage she gave y/n asylum and declared her an auxiliary force. It turns out that during the chunin exams, she helped the village a lot in monitoring the enemy even though she didn't have to and therefore Tsunade befriended her very quickly.

What Kakashi really couldn't understand at the begining was how everyone got close to her so quickly. He found himself pretty often following y/n as she moved around Konoha, looking for anything that would make his suspicion justified. He watched when she stops by the market for fresh fruits and veggies, or talks to Kurenai in the street with a big smile, or when she practices her water control by the stream next to half a kilometer from the memorial stone. He wished he could just stand next to her and feel the warmth radiating from her up close again as she squirmed when she talked.

Which was out of the question now, sure, because she didn't want to talk to him anymore. But it certainly didn't stop him from being attracted to her warmth. Of course, it wasn't like that for the whole 6 months, it even seemed to him that she enjoyed being in his company for the first month. She kept popping up, each time making no sound as usual and going on and on about how Naruto had gotten stronger, how Kakashi needed to be more gentle with Sasuke, how maybe it was better for Sakura to learn 1 on 1 new techniques to help her reach personal, not someone else's potential. She told him how in her village she liked to go to the banks of the harbor early in the morning and look for children who were fishing by themselves and to use her "magic" to pull out a few fish. They would laugh and call y/n princess of the sea. With a very serious expression on her face she listed endless crazy reasons why Kakashi could wear a mask and swore in front of everyone present (even though they were actually alone) that one day she would find out what his face looked like. And when she talked she was beautiful.. actually, she was always beautiful. He mostly listened in silence, allowing the warm feeling in his chest to grow little by little with each of their conversations. He realized that he began to take the path to the memorial stone more often where there was a better chance of her jumping out. Once, she even came along with him as far as the stone itself, bowed and stood quietly for a while before whispering "at least you have a place to mourn your loved ones."

 However, that huddled routine that Kakashi looked forward to more than he'd like to admit stopped 10 days after Sasuke disappeared, and he ran into her for the first time after the failed mission. "You shouldn't blame yourself, you did everything you could" she was silent for a few minutes "I don't think you really could have stopped him.. you said yourself that Sasuke was stubborn. If you managed to bring him home, the question is whether he would still want to be a part of the team...". When Kakashi was still silent and tried to turn and leave she spoke again "When I lost my cousin I couldn't sleep for days, I blamed myself and wanted to die. But I realized that what was happening to us was inevitable, if she had survived then maybe the Mizukage would have sent his guards and...” “You trying to cover your guilt with failed excuses shows what person you are like.. I will not live in such a miserable field” when the anger came out of him with that sentence Kakashi realized how wrong he was and tried to speak again, but a cold "I got it, go bathe in guilt if that's what you want" cut him off with eyes that glared at him. Y/n left after that and didn't speak to him again to this day.

So he was left to watch her from a distance. In moments when he felt lonely he blamed her. He often let his frustration get the better of him and then tried to talk to others about his doubts and pin his ugly feelings on y/n. Unfortunately for him, everyone loved her, starting with Gai who was finally getting a talkback about the flower of youth and someone with whom his passionate level would be similar.Kurenai finally felt close to a female ninja and laughter could always be heard from Tsunade's office when she was in. Genma showed a closeness to her like he hadn't with anyone in a long time... Kurenai even mentioned that they went on a date after some difficult mission. Which is perfectly fine and didn't leave Kakashi choking on a feeling he hadn't felt before at all. Hot again, but not in a nice way, it even felt a little like anger. And now he was standing in the Hokage's office wondering how a ninja with chakra that was impaled on a water core could cause so much fire.

"Well Kakashi, it's time for another S-rank mission" Tsunade smiled at him, holding sake in her left hand. It was already dusk and her paperwork work was due in about an hour, so her advisors weren't in the room "I hope you had enough time to rest."

"And if I said I didn't, it wouldn't change the situation much" he wasn't looking anywhere in particular while keeping his hands in his pockets. He was on the last mission for a full 3 weeks. Of course he was chakra exhausted. Of course he felt tired. Of course he wanted to do nothing but sleep, read Make-out, and visit the memorial stone. And check out what y/n is doing…

"You know yourself that the level of missions has increased since the death of the 3rd Hokage and the destruction of the village. All our enemies strike us now because they're hoping to catch us in weakness. Unfortunately we don't have enough jonin to cover the steady increase in S rank missions...so there is no time for long breaks. This one is especially hard, so you'll get an escort."

"Ah, escort..." now he was looking at the ceiling, how interesting tiles... "didn't you say that sending couple jonin rank ninjas on a mission is a waste of resources? That it should be done only in exceptional cases? Or you've actually started caring about me? In that case my heart is about to break…"

"This is an exceptional case, Kakashi" Tsunade got up from the chair and sat on the table directly observing Kakashi "the fact is that many jonin go on missions with their genin and chunin and they consider it a kind of vacation, because all those missions are B rank at worst. However, that privilege has been taken away from you since Sasuke escaped and Naruto went to train who knows where with Jiraiya" when she noticed that Kakashi would not respond to her remark she sighed deeply and continued "since this mission involves going into enemy territory you will take escort."

"Enemy territory?"

"Land of Waves to be precise. Y/n was already notified this morning that she has been assigned an S rank mission and will need to be your guide and support."

"Y/n?!" Kakashi felt his anger spreading through his body, so he tried with all his might, fists clenched in his pockets, to calm his breathing; he spoke very slowly and quietly "y/n has a huge bounty on her head in those villages. Or did you miss that? They will kill her as soon as she gets close."

"The scroll that was stolen is very important to Konoha, Kakashi " she held the tip of the nose with her eyes closed "y/n knows the risk and she accepted it. It was her duty at the end of the day" as she looked at him determinedly "as it was yours to take orders from the Hokage. You have a mission to complete, and for efficiency you'll bring a guide with you, who, if I must remind you, is also a jonin who does S-rank missions. You will take care of each other."

"You can't send her with me" he couldn't stop his legs from getting a little closer to her "you can't send her there, it will only be a big distraction."

"The decision has been made" she handed him the scroll looking at him resolutely "the deadline for the mission is 1 week. If you do not return by then, help will be sent to you. All the details are in the scroll, I expect a successful report when you return. That's it, you can go."

"But, Lady Tsunade –"

"That's it Kakashi" a small crack was heard from the wood of the table that cracked under Tsunade's pressure "you can go."

Damn it he thought.

i’m so sorry.

"Of course you're late" y/n looked at Kakashi leaning against the wall of village gate, her bag on the floor between her legs.

"You won't believe what an infestation of angry geese was in front of my house" he smiled at her, scratching the back of his head.

"Yes, yes. Move then..." she just walked away leaving him standing there for a few moments staring at her. He wondered if she knew where he was going before every mission. He wondered if she could see through his acting with that haunting gaze.

-

After few hours passed, in not so pleasant but endurable silence, air was getting colder. Kakashi felt his fingers slowly tingle, frantically trying to warm them in his pockets.

"Fuck.." muttered next to him y/n holding a finger in the air that was covered in water and her chakra "fuck, fuck."

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, observing their surroundings. They were around 25 kilometers away from Konoha for a pretty short time because they were running most of the way wanting to reach the border of Land of Water by evening. It's only about an hour to the small town. They were currently in an open area and Kakashi desperately wanted to get out of the way as soon as possible.

"Once every few years Land of Water gets a period of so-called „false winter“"y/n blurted out through her teeth, keeping her gaze still on the water that was wrapped around her finger "you see? There is a thin layer of hoarfrost gathering on the surface. It's not cold enough to freeze, but maybe, in 2 days, it will be enough."

"And what do those winters look like? Should we expect snow?"

"Probably not. The problem with this winters is that they are very cold and wet. On the other hand they never last more than a week. But people freeze to death because winters come so suddenly, so we have to be very careful. And of course, to return home as soon as possible."

"Clearly..." Kakashi spoke in a moment, swearing at his fate. This mission probably couldn't get any worse.

He watched y/n wipe hands on her pants, and warming the hand she had attached the water to by slowly blowing into it. He couldn't resist the urge and slowly put his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him with a look that almost brought him to his knees. Honest, clean, which allows the color of her eyes to completely come to the fore.

"Don't worry" he said quietly, now in some incomprehensible fear of not scaring her further, and with a huge desire to slowly dance his fingers on her face... to get rid of every concern "we will finish this mission successfully. Everything will be alright."

"Mhm" the girl in front of him uttered a falsely cheerful voice "and even if something happens, you won't have to swim in pool of pathetic excuses so I'm not even worried about you" she slipped out of his touch with the speed of an eye blink "it's time to go and find a room if we don't want to sleep in the cold."

"Y/n..." he tried

"Come on" she interrupted him already ready for a new round of running "don't lose sight of me."

-

When they arrived at the room they had barely rented as it was the last one in a shack at the very end of a famous town, within reach of a Village Hidden in Mist, Kakashi thanked every exalted being that existed for the 2 large separte beds in their room. As he made the beds, placed the maps on the floor of the room, took the food out of his bag, he listened to the sound of the shower coming out of the bathroom and suddenly he felt terribly hot. Although he had never been intimate with a woman... or anyone really, out of constant fear of getting hitched and that person dying, Kakashi actually often felt very lustful. It had appeared in flashbacks before, when he saw a pretty girl at one of his missions, when he passed a public women's bath, when he was reading his books... however he had never wanted something or someone so much that it made him act on that lust. The present moment, on the other hand, was driving him completely insane. Yes, he thought y/n was very very beautiful and her strong character was surprisingly attractive. He thought her smile was as sweet as honey and there was nothing warmer than her beautiful disposition. And yes, sure, one time when they happened to be together in a bar with mutual friends, not talking to each other of course, he got surprisingly turned on by one look at her bare legs. Although now he thought that that arousal could not even be considered arousal because what he was feeling right now was 10 times stronger. When he realized that if he continued like this he would either go crazy, or unwillingly go and do something.. with her, or cum within a full minute Kakashi went into deep concentration considering the mission.

After a few minutes y/n came out in a plain t-shirt and shorts, no bandages on her arms and legs so now he could see a lot of small cuts on the lenght of her arms. He felt that she could see that he was looking at her and he just kept his eyes on her waiting for her to speak.

"We have very hard endurance training as kids" y/n muttered noticing Kakashi is staring at her "they're not as gentle with us at the academy as they are with you. Especially if you are female."

"I understand" he looked at her with full attention "it must have been difficult for you."

"Of course it was" she threw herself on the bed with a sigh, letting her wet hair fall on the pillow "although we don't talk much about it. What happened happened."

"Does it bother you that I saw?" he left the question floating in the air. Her thighs were dripping with water that she hadn't wiped off. He wondered what it would feel like to run his lips over them.

"No" she fell silent a little and looked him directly in the eye "even though I don't agree with you about some things, I believe you. I've seen how you treat others. You always put someone else's life before your own and I really appreciate that. So the result is that I'm not ashamed of who I am right now. At least not in front of you."

Kakashi's legs walked on their own towards the bed where y/n lay. He wanted to comfort her, he wanted to kiss every cut on her body, he wanted to show her that she can show her vulnerable side. When she saw him coming towards her y/n sat down in a meditation pose leaving room for the ninja to sit on the other end of the bed which he did. When some time had passed Kakashi removed the headband from his other eye and looked at her with both eyes open. He noticed how the girl in front of him was trying like hell not to stare at his sharingan now, her eyes darting left and right as she paid attention to both eyes.

"I'm so sorry" mumbled Kakashi "I'm so fucking sorry for what I said the last time we spoked. If I could, I would do everything differently."

She watched him quietly. Then uncertainly reached out a shaky hand and touched his scar just below his eye which made Kakashi wince. What the hell was he thinking?! If she wanted to, she could have dug out his eye and taken it to the enemy!

"Sleep. Tomorrow is a tough one" he spoke harshly when, without looking at her again, he stood up and went to take a shower. Then hating himself, he entered the room again and saw her pretending to sleep with slightly red eyes from crying.

regrets.

The next day, they were already passing few small communites, moving through the Land of Waves. They only had a few more hours of walking left before they entered the Village Hidden in the Mist, and darkness was already slowly falling. Both of them had bought long coats on their way out of the city, so that the cold, which was slowly but surely getting into their bones, could be endured. However, Kakashi was feverishly aware of one thing – this all seemed too easy. They hadn't encountered a single ninja so far, there was no sign of anyone noticing who y/n was and the road was passable without control.

"Probably because of the cold " y/n mumbled trying to gather the cold mist into droplets on her palm when Kakashi shared his worries with her "I told you people doesn't handle it well enough in these parts."

"Hmm" he watched as the mist and chakra slowly danced and merged at the tip of her palm, making water "it would certainly be good if we didn't linger here for much longer. Considering how in demand you are here and how cold it can be."

"It's good that we left most of the things in that hut" now she let the water slowly drip from her fingers "being overloaded would only slow us down. And since sleeping in any hut here is not an option because of our bountys, and sleeping outside is not because of the cold, we can only finish the mission tonight and return to the hut tomorrow night."

"Sure thing, lady" he hummed.

-

It was the dead of night when they were half a kilometer from the base, which did not seem protected. Guards were probably inside because of the cold, Kakashi thought. The fog enveloped them and honestly suffocated him slightly even with the mask he always wore. When the wind blew, it would whip his face and make him shake for a moment. It was very cold. He watched as y/n looked at the white rabbit with small cut on right ear in confusion, crouching. He took out his kunai sorry little guy.

"No" she spoke quietly next to him "white rabbits are not always a distraction... don't worry."

"I hope you didn't trick me...trust me i will find out and it won't end well for you."

She glared at him, tilting her head to the side... a sarcastic smile moved to adorn her lips.

"How are you not ashamed?" she whispered, but because of the silence of the night he heard her very well "I sacrificed myself for your village in this half year than for mine my whole fucking life" she poked him in the chest with her finger "I was more polite to you than you deserve. And I would have fucking killed you in your sleep last night if I wanted to."

"You remained as fiery and hot as the last time I saw you" spoke a voice from the shadows behind them. Kakashi lifted his headband and grabbed the shuriken in his pockets. However a stiff y/n caught his attention more.

"Y/n" the copy ninja cracked "y/n what's going on?!"

"Shino..." she whispered confusedly looking into the darkness. How the hell do these swamp ninjas manage to be so damn quiet??

"What's up beautiful," out of the darkness, where y/n was looking, a tall ninja came out with the band of the village hidden in the mist hanging around his neck. His entire body except face was covered in bandages and a blade similar to Zabuza's was attached to his back… this is not good "you know I missed you."

"You tried to kill me" Kakashi watched y/n holding outstretched hand in front of her, chakra on the surface of her palm trembled slightly "I trusted you and you tried to kill me."

"Princess" a sneer was heard in his voice, he raised both hands above his head as if he wanted to show her that he did not want to hurt her "business is business, nothing personal."

"I loved you and you tried to kill me" her voice trembled as she turned her hand upwards and the ninja fell to his knees still with a smile on his face, his blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight

Kakashi tried to use the Sharingan to quickly assess the situation, but realized that there was nothing to be gained from it. The fog was too thick, the night was too dark and he didn't fucking know what to do. Should he summon Pakun? Should he kill the asshole on the spot?

"I see you still like bad boys, princess. But you yourself know that in the end you are regretted by everyone, in the end everyone sees how weak you are." Shino spoke with difficulty on his knees, a grimace on his face, probably due to blood manipulation "you still chose none other than Kakashi of sharingan. I'm impressed" he was looking at Kakashi now, a dirty smile returning to his lips "you know the redwater brothers want you dead ever since you killed Zabuza... that wasn't nice of you Kakashi."

"Ah, business is business, isn't it, nothing personal" Kakashi smiled with his eyes.

"Hah" Shino looked at y/n again "honestly, I never even loved you. What has to happen happens."

Then several things happens at once. Kakashi saw the ninja on his knees turning into water with his sharingan, and heard rustling behind them. Fucking water clone.

"Fucking shit -" Kakashi whispered furiously under his breath, quickly turning on his heels and activating chidori. A few seconds passed before he stood behind y/n shielding her back and pierced the spot where Shino's heart was with his chidori. The ninja fell from his hand, along with his blade with a dull thud. Kakashi turned to look at y/n who was looking at him with wide eyes and felt a searing pain in his chest. With a low curse he fell to his knees as he realised that he was almost cut open in half.

"No!" y/n shouted as she quickly knelt in front of him with her hands glowing with chakra "Kakashi, Kakashi, keep your eyes on mine."

Is this it? He thought as his head reeled. Although his eyes seemed to be open, he saw nothing. He only heard the soft sound of chakra vibrating somewhere nearby and shallow breats. Maybe some whimpers. But he wasn't sure.

"Kakashi! I will never talk to you again if you die now" a distant soft voice cracked "I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you."

"I l-lied" he spoke quietly, not sure if she heard him at all, but he tried anyway "you are very brave... so brave it scares me... So, of c-c-course you are not week. Of course you're not a dis-straction. Of course I don't regret going here with y-you."

"Look at me, I'm begging you."

The last atoms of power Kakashi focused on what appeared to be y/n's face. When his vision sharpened a little he saw a smile or a twitch, he wasn't quite sure, and the beautiful color of the eyes that he had come to love so much.

"You are so beautiful."

lavander.

When Kakashi woke up in a dark room that smelled of lavender he was sure he was dead. He tried to blink hard a few times and shake the sleep from his eyes before he managed to sit up. His mask was still there, though he was dressed in plain clothes and covered with a thick blanket. Although he was warm, the air in room was cold. He realized that he was in the hut where he and y/n had left their things before they went to the Land of Waves. When he turned to the right he saw lavender in a pot and a small letter. He took the letter and began to read.

By all accounts you should wake up before I’m back. I left medicinal herbs, tea and food on your table. Don't even think of touching the bandage. I managed to sew up the wound completely, but it's better that the bandage soaked with medicinal water stays until I return, just in case. Of the flowers in the local flower shop, there were only lavenders because of the winter, I hope you are not allergic. Hehe. I went to get that stupid scroll and finish the mission so I'll be back soon. Don't follow me. You lost a lot of blood and strength. Please wait. I'll be back, trust me.

P.S. I didn't peek under your mask. Pinky promise.

-

Those few hours in which Kakashi drank all the tea, ate all the food and thought about the best way to go after her, felt like days. He realized with great amazement that y/n had somehow managed to heal entire wound which now only itched, not hurt. He felt very exhausted as he looked out the window at the rain falling wrapped in a blanket. It must have been terribly cold outside. How many days did he sleep? How is y/n? Is she hurt? What if they catch her and kill her? What if she's already dead? How many days has she actually been out of the hut? If she is dead he will kill everyone who is responsible. But he is responsible... He let his guard down and let that jerk almost kill him and that's why y/n is out there alone now. He won't be able to live with himself if she's dead. He was too tired. He will rest for only half an hour more and then he will leave. Towards her. Yes, that sounds like a good idea.

Knock knock.

Kakashi stood up with his heart pounding. They found him. But if they found him that means they will wait there for y/n to come back and then kill her easily. He took the kunai, opened the sharingan eye and cautiously approached the door. He wouldn’t let that happen. When he flung open the door he saw y/n with gentle eyes watching him, a scroll in one hand, a Shino’s blade in the other. She was wearing a normal ninja uniform and was soaked to the core. Y/n smiled widely at him but fatigue was very visible on her face. Her body was shaking uncontrollably from the cold.

"Oh thank heavens, you're awake" it came as sigh from her lips "I didn't want to drop any of this on the floor. Sorry if you had to get up. Everything went smoothly. Mission is complete."

He quietly helped her inside, took the things from her hands and put them on the floor. When he went to turn on the shower so that somehow hot water would warm up y/n he realized that there was no use because the water had frozen in the pipes.

"The shower doesn't work" he rasped and realized that it was probably the first thing he had said in days "change into something dry. We need to warm you up."

Kakashi then placed 2 blankets over each other on his bed and pulled y/n who was now only in a t-shirt and shorts (because that was the only thing dry) into bed with him. He hugged her tightly, limbs completely intertwined, his hands rubbing hers, trying to bring some warmth back into her body. All this with full awareness of how she was lying next to him in just shorts and a t-shirt. He fought the growing erection in his underwear, thinking about anything but the woman in his arms that he wanted more than anything else.

"I thought you were going to die" she spoke quietly against his chest, probably more to herself than to him, but he certainly heard her very clearly.

"You saved my life, Thank you" he mumbled against her hair.

Now she cocked her head hard and fast locking her eyes with his, fire in them, just the way Kakashi loved it.

"If it wasn't for you, I would be dead" she snapped angrily, holding his gaze with hers, now he kept his sharingan eye open "I just did one tolerable, but miserable thing."

"You are extraordinary. Really. I’m all heald now thanks to you. When I woke up today I felt like whole new person. Thank you" he lightly touched her cheek with his hand "And I don't know if that went through your crazy little head, but the last thing I want is to let people I care about die while I'm just watching from the sidelines. That very much includes you."

As if momentarily embarrassed, she looked away from him and brought her head back to rest on his chest. She breathed deeply.

When he noticed that the normal temperature was slowly returning to her body and the shivers stopped being so strong Kakashi let out a soft laugh.

"I don’t believe a thing you say,"

"What?" y/n cocked her head again looking into Kakashi's one open eye with a confused expression. That made him grin even wider.

"I don't believe you didn't look under the mask."

The girl in his arms scoffed looking at him with mocking eyes "My curiosity is big, but not so much that I want to play dirty. If i really wanted to see what's underneath I'd make you show me yourself."

"And?" Kakashi felt his breath slowly run out of anticipation "do you want to see it that badly?"

She looked at his mask silently then studied his open eye.

"You want to show me?" she asked quietly, and he just continued to watch her, with an unknown glow. She slowly removed both hands from the blanket and ran her fingers to the top of his mask. Her hands were shaking slightly and Kakashi realized with something, ah here it is again, very warm in his stomach that she wasn't shaking from the cold this time. Y/n slowly removed the mask from his face as he watched her carefully. When the whole cloth was finally removed, she sighed deeply. A soft smile graced her lips.

"Ah, what a disappointment" her gaze circled all over his face "nothing of the huge lips and horse teeth."

Kakashi felt his lips curl into a smile. He hugged her a little tighter.

"You are so beautiful. Gorgeous even." she looked him in the eye and now he was terribly, terribly hot all over. No one ever addressed those words to him. His body just moved closer to her until her lips were only inches away from his. He felt her breath brush his lips. He was waiting for her to do something… anything.. to give him the green light. Because no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't move on his own. Such tender and fragile moments were not frequent in his life, and suddenly he was terribly afraid of breaking this too. However when y/n pressed her lips to his all worries were quickly erased from his mind.

They kissed deeply and slowly as he ran his hands all over her body. He made sounds he didn't know he was capable of, but realized that nothing compared to her sighs and moans from the kiss. He slowly moved from her lips to her neck which he had been watching for so long as they talked months from now, taking deep breaths.

"How perfect you are" he murmured as she melted in his arms. She ran her hands first over his shoulders, then his back, finally letting her hands go under his shirt. He moaned burying his head deeper into her neck.

"Kakashi..." came out of her mouth like a plea, as if it was too much for her.

"I know y/n, I know," he breathed a big, hard sigh as he held her hips tightly so she wouldn't move against him anymore. It was very clear to him that she felt how much he wanted her. And he now wanted her to show her how much he wanted her "can I touch you?"

She looked at him with a warm look and red cheeks, then nodded briskly.

He let his hand dance from her neck, over her stomach, down to her lower abdomen where he pressed his hand firmly.

He kissed all over her hands, all the little cuts he'd seen just a few days before.

"Perfect. So fucking perfect. Lift your hips for me pretty girl" he whispered softly.

When he took off her shorts and realized how wet she was, he almost cummed In his pants at that moment.

He just touched her enterance briefly and she moaned leaning into his touch. Nothing has happened yet and he was so fucking turned on. Turned on by her smooth skin, maddening smell, her sighs, moans... This is 100x better than any erotic novel. He slowly kissed her clit, than licked it experimentally. Y/n closed her eyes and left her hands flying to his hair, hips bucking up to meet his mouth.

'Look at me, let me see you" he darkly whispered against her pussy, looking at her with his both eyes. He then licked and sucked her swollen clit, eyes never leaving hers, making her moaning mess.

"Fuck Kakashi, fuck" she cried pressing one hand against her mouth, than changing mind and letting that hand grip on his hair too "i need you now. Please."

He stopped for a second watching her.

"Are you.. -"

"Yes, yes, and don’t you fucking dare to leave now."

"Sure thing pretty lady" he smiled against her heat.

He took his time, exploring every exposed piece of skin now that he took her t-shirt off too. He blinked open the sharingan again and he was so damn happy that he could predict how she would react to every touch. He looked at her; sprawled out underneath him, with her face flushed, lips swollen.

"Have I ever told you that you are perfect?" he had that boyish smile now, looking at her lovingly.

"Pervert" she grinned while kissing him quickly.

"Ah yes" he left few kisses to her neck again "I remember you calling me that a few times" he put his fingers on her clit making her to squirm with embarrassment.

"Please Kakashi" her voice was so fucking sweet "I need you. Please."

"Need you too" he mumbled against her lips "so much. My beautiful girl."

Then all he could feel was her. She clouded all five senses and he felt like he was going insane. It was over far too quickly.

"Madness" he whispered in her ear and nuzzled her neck, thrusting deep and steady "you are madness."

He gave a few last thrusts and reached down with his hand to help her finish. It wasn’t long until she was writhing and whimpering underneath him.

He kissed the top of her head before he pulled her into him protectively, feeling sleepy. Enjoying the feeling of her skin flush against his, her sweet smell and now steady breaths he felt his body completely relaxing.

As he slowly drifted off to sleep he asked quietly against her hair "do you want to go out sometime?"

[lilacsilver-writes]

A canon-divergent Lisa Frankenstein ficlet for y'all's reading enjoyment. [Also a question: should I put all of my LF ficlets and prompt responses up on Ao3?]

“No. I won’t...let you.”

It’s the first thing he’s ever been able to say to her, and he wishes it weren’t. He wishes he could have expressed his love as she had, in breathless cut-off bursts as they had moved together in her bed only a handful of minutes ago.

“Why not?” Lisa asks, arms crossed in a display of youthful stubbornness. “You can bring me back in a week or two, and we’ll -- ”

“No,” he says again. “You...don’t know what it’s...truly like, on the other side. I won’t let you.”

She scowls. “I know you died, like, a hundred and fifty years ago, but nowadays husbands don’t get to order their wives around. We’re going out to that damn tanning bed and you’re going to help me. There’s no other way.”

Yes, there is. The sirens are drawing closer to the house, and all he has to do is wait for the police to arrive and confess to all the crimes they believe Lisa committed. He may not legally exist, but they don’t know that yet. At the very least, it will stall them long enough for Lisa to run.

But he will not add to his sins by taking her life, even if – as she says – he can bring her back afterwards. He leaves the bedroom in defiance of her protests, descends the stairs, and goes outside just as the first police car arrives.

“Lisa didn’t kill anyone,” he tells them. “I did.”

There’s quite a bit of confusion regardless, since Lisa is now on the lawn herself and very loudly making her opinions known. It almost makes him smile – his beautiful, half-mad wife never can stay quiet, not when there’s something to be said – but he doubts the officers will appreciate such an expression when he’s just confessed to the murders.

The officers finally just put them both in the back of one of the cars, presumably to sort everything out where all the neighbors drawn out of their houses by the noise can’t stand around and gawk at the proceedings.

--

They’re taken to separate rooms at the station. The officer assigned to question him looks like she would rather be anywhere else but here.

“What’s your name?” she asks.

He can’t recall his own, but he does recall the name of the man he had been thrown over for a very long time ago. Perhaps it’s childish to say it, but that’s the name she writes down for her report.

“How old are you?”

This, too, is a lie born of necessity. If he tells the truth, they’ll dismiss him as a madman and he’ll never see his Lisa again. The officer squints at him, but writes down the birthdate he claims.

“Why’d you do it?”

This, at least, he can be honest about. Janet would have had Lisa sent away and locked up and tormented. Doug would have done something unspeakable to an impaired, insensate girl. Michael – well, Michael turned out to be, as Lisa probably would have put it, a lying sneak and an asshole. For the pain they had caused Lisa, they had all had to go.

[rolesplay]

・┆✦GHOST STORIES — a haruno sakura/uchiha sasuke fanfic.

Her name was written in the memorial, her body laid to rest in the ground. Yet still she wouldn't leave. Couldn't leave.

It was a scene that should have happened years ago, at the hospital roof when they were younger. But their sensei, Kakashi Hatake, was there and stopped it just in time. The circumstances was different now, however.

They've grown up. All of them. Naruto had matured, earned more friends as years passed. Sasuke got stronger, and along it his hatred too. She too. No longer was she that young, lovesick twelve-year old little girl who lacks self-confidence.

And they weren't even in the hospital roof.

Sasuke had killed Danzou through one of his teammates and injured her much (was this really the boy who jumped in front of Naruto to save him from inevitable attacks or got very, very mad because he saw Sakura hurt badly?). Sakura decided to heal her, as Naruto fought the stubborn, revenge-obsessed boy while trying to reason with him.

She cried. She cried as she healed the redheaded girl that was now Sasuke's teammate. And when the girl was fully healed, she stood up, and went back where Sasuke and Naruto was fighting.

She saw it: chidori and rasengan. She thought: someone would definitely die.

She screamed. And ran. Ran and jumped between them.

The two saw, but the impact was something inevitable. They were running. The horrified look at Naruto's face, and the flicker of unsure in Sasuke's. It was all too fast.

A chidori through her chest, and a rasengan to her back.

And she smiled.

She stopped them. She had managed to do so.

"SAKURA-CHAN!"

She'll even bet that they'll stop fighting, even for awhile.

Sasuke slowly, slowly, pulled his hand away. Blood. There was blood.

"Sakura..."

How funny, this was her last thoughts before she actually died, that the boy who turned her down every time she gave him her heart, again and again, would be the one to literally pierce her beating heart. That the boy so close to her heart would be the reason for the gaping, painful hole in her back. That the boys—her boys, the ones who would protect her no matter what when they were younger—would be the reason for her death.

She smiled.

I love you.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

She didn't know how or what happened exactly. First she died, and then light and then she spent sometime on a road, and as she walked on realized her memories were being reenacted. And she wished, she hoped very, very hard to not stay here. She didn't want to see her life again. If she's moving on, she can't have second thoughts on wanting to stay. Another blinding light.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

When she opened her eyes, she was in his room at the prison cells. He was reading a scroll.

Her wish was ungranted, it seemed. That stupid light just threw her back to the world of the living.

She snorted as she crossed her arms in front of her, walking behind him and looking at the scroll. "Training, even here? Whatever am I gonna do with you?"

She saw him flinch, and her eyes widened a bit.

"S-Sasuke-kun? Can you hear me?"

He shifted in his position, making it seem like he was pouring more attention to what he was reading.

She sighed. "Of course you don't. I'm betting you can't see me either."

His back was too straight, his body too stiff.

She wanted so badly to touch him reassuringly.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Sometimes she's there, sometimes she's not. It was rather disorienting.

But when he was finally released, still under probation, she went with him to his new apartment (it was the Council who picked it—good God, those people).

She noticed he paused and left the door open, and she mused that maybe it's to let her in. She's dead, and pretty much invisible, so musing about such couldn't hurt anyone, could it? (Except her, but that's fine, wasn't it? She's a ghost.)

"Well, the size is pretty much like Naruto's, huh?" she mumbled as she stepped inside.

When she was already safely inside, he had just managed to take off his sandals. He turned around, made a sound of annoyance because he noticed the door ajar, closed the door, and quickly strode across the room to another nearby door.

She looked on at the door he disappeared to sadly.

She decided she hated doors. They always knew—always remembered—how to close.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

There were times, when he visited the Uchiha clan house, and he would train at the backyard.

She would be there.

She would talk, about what happened when he was gone, about how she trained and hoped and waited, about the chūnin exams she retook, about Naruto leaving with Jiraiya.

She pretended he listened, somehow, that in some weird, weird way he could hear her.

"It's funny, isn't it? We all got trained under them Legendary Sannins. You under Orochimaru, Naruto under Jiraiya and me with shishuo."

She looked at him as he took a shuriken and threw it away, bending its path phenomenally.

"Team Seven, trained by the Copy-nin Kakashi Hatake. And then under the Legendary Sannins."

He threw a whole bunch of kunai this time, hitting all the targets at almost the same time.

"Do you think, we could've become legends too? I mean, it wouldn't be bad, would it?"

He stopped on his training, and stared down at the sword in his hand.

"Legends, huh," he mumbled rather audibly.

It was all Sakura could do not to gasp. She closed her eyes, scared to open them again because she's scared that he'd see her and then what would she do?

She only opened them again when the sound of pierced wood started again.

He never looked at her.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Sometimes, she would go with him when he goes around the town, ANBU nimbly following them—well, him—and people looking on in fear.

At those times he would usually end up on the bridge—the meeting place of Team Seven. He would just stand there, as if waiting for something that never comes.

It was when he would hold on to the wooden rails of the bridge and stare in the water or the sun that she would find herself beside him. She's only a few centimeters—millimeters, even—away, almostbut not touching.

She just can't bear the thought of her hand, her figure, her all, slipping through him.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Once, when she was in that world, he met a young man who looked a lot like Sasuke.

"You're dead," she blurted out.

Itachi merely inclined his head. "I thought you already knew that. After all, you are the Hokage's apprentice, aren't you?"

Sakura sighed. "I knew, I just... Why are you here? In this..." She gestured around. She wanted to call it her own personal hell but then what if it wasn't? "...purgatory...?"

An eyebrow rose. "You think this is purgatory?"

"I'm obviously not in the afterlife yet."

He chuckled. "You are right. Smart," he nodded in approval. "Just like a kunoichi should be."

"Not anymore..."

"But once a kunoichi, always one, right?"

She shrugged.

She should be angry with him—what he did to Sasuke and the rest of their clan was not nice. But what's the use of being angry with a person who's dead? Especially if the other party was also dead?

"I'm here to tell you what happened."

Her head snapped up, and she stared blankly at him.

She listened as the former ANBU relayed the tragic, tragic story of what was once an amazing clan which brought about its own destruction. The story of the boy who grew up too fast, the boy who gave up everything for his brother and village.

Sakura cried. For him and for his family and for his brother and for his—their—village.

When she recovered, he told her that she should stop him if his brother tried anything foolish.

"He listens to you," he said.

She replied, "he never does. Did. Whatever."

"Then why did he hesitate?" he asked, before leaving her alone again.

The image of Sasuke, taking his time to tell her thank you before he left when he could just walk away and leave her popped in on her mind.

Of his eyes before she died.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

It is during nighttime that she feels useless.

He would thrash about sometimes, shouting, calling his Mom, Dad, his brother. Sometimes, even her name. Why...? It would always be what he asked.

She would call his name listlessly.

It is during this time he would open his eyes and stare at her directly, and she would be at loss on what to do.

Sometimes he would even reach for her.

It takes all her willpower not to reach back.

Instead, when he's calmed down, she would lie down beside him and tell him the stories of the dead people she's met so far.

Stories of his ANBU brother ("He really, really loved you, you know?"), of Naruto's mom ("She's really close to your mom too. Kushina-sama actually considered Mikoto-san as a close friend.") of Dan-san ("You know when they say, 'Til death do us part'? I don't think Dan-san... well, he's still there, somehow. Watching over her.") and of Akasuna no Sasori ("I still can't believe I met him again. His sense of humor sucked big time, and he was a killer; but I'm glad all the same. I'm happy he found peace.").

She wondered when her fifth person would come.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

She doesn't remember ever feeling this mad.

"I didn't die just so you could leave again!" she screamed. She felt frustrated and mad.

She was about to punch him, punch some sense into him, when he caught it.

He caught it.

Sasuke caught it.

Sasuke caught her fist, her hand.

For awhile she just stared at him.

She could feel him. It didn't make any sense.

"You... You see me."

She was flabbergasted. Shocked. Surprised.

"I always do," he replied as he slowly put down her hands. He didn't let go though.

"But I'm... But you... How..."

She took a deep breath, tried to make a coherent thought. She stared at him. "Why didn't you tell me though?" She asked softly. "You could've spoken to me."

She heard him mumble something in reply, but it was only the word hurt that she caught.

"I'm strong, you know," she smiled even when her heart was breaking (again) and tears were falling down her eyes (mentally, her medic side was wondering how it was possible, but then again she had been crying since she met different people in that limbo). "I would've coped."

He stared at her calculatingly, as if sizing up what she said. And then slowly, carefully: "I meant me. I... I killed you, Sakura."

Her eyes softened at his confession, and it was only then she realized she was bracing for another goodbye, not an apology or a confession.

He looked around, as if searching for anyone who might see them, and looked at her. "I can't stay here." He gulped. "I'd always... I'd always thought I would, you know."

She blinked.

"I always thought I'd come back..."

"Sasuke-kun..."

"And then my brother... And I swore I'd never come back. I was so angry, Sakura. But when I killed you, when I killed you..."

I love you.

"I couldn't believe you'd..."

"You couldn't believe?" She glared at him. "What? You think that confession I gave you years ago at this very same place was a joke?"

"We were twelve."

"Yes and I'm dead now and I'm still in love with you!"

Her confession both made them stand stock still, and all they could do is stare at each other. Somewhere in her befuddled mind, she thought: Everything comes full circle. Because here they are, at the gates of Konoha again, with him trying to leave and her pleading him to stay with a love confession thrown in with it.

"I hate this," she was crying loudly this time. "I want to hate you so bad but I love you still. And I hate that! I hate that! I hate that when I cry, it's always got to do with you! That I worry even though you wanted to kill me! That every time I look into a new moon, all I could think of is that night and you! It's always you!"

"Sakura..."

"I'm sorry... Sasuke-kun, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"I cared, you know."

She stared wide eyed at him. The tears still fell, there was no helping it.

"The first time... That first time I saw you cry during our mission at Wave... I didn't know what to do. I was alone for so long I didn't know what it was like for someone to cry for me. And Kakashi was so adamant in teamwork that you grew on me. Every time I saw you cry over me..."

"Sasuke-kun."

"You were precious to me, Sakura. One of the few people I cared for. When I went berserk because of the mark, it wasn't just because of it. I was angry too. You were my teammate, and I cared for you. And yet, when I saw you cry then, my anger dissipated... Your tears... Your tears always make me hesitate. You always make me hesitate. And I think, had I stayed, I'd have stayed with you."

"Sas—"

"Sakura," he said rather forcefully, probably to tell her to listen. "I... I wasn't very good at it. But I... I did love you. I still do."

A moment of silence passed, and she just went on staring at him.

He blinked, trying perhaps to shake the uneasiness he felt. "I want you to come with me this time, Sakura."

And then she felt it: the small tingles beginning from her toes and the edges of her fingers. She realized then, that he was her fifth person. She couldn't let go because of him.

She smiled. "I'm sorry Sasuke-kun. But I can't."

"What? But—"

She leaned up, hands on both sides of his face. He fidgeted, clearly not used to such contact.

"I'm a ghost, Sasuke-kun. Just an echo of who I once was. I can't go with you," she pursed her lips, trying to tell him everything she can—her time was running short. "But I love you too, Sasuke-kun. I think you know that already though. I'd love you in this life—and the next." She pressed a kiss on his lips, and as she moved away from him gave him a gentle poke on the forehead with her pointer and middle fingers. "See you next time, but don't hurry on getting on that next time, you still have a clan to rebuild."

And she was gone, just like that.

[just-finished-watching]

Business Proposal

Finished Watching: 4/27/2024

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟/5 (4/5)

Expectations: I usually don't like KDramas, but I really wanted to watch one for some reason. I thought I would drop it by the 3rd or 4th episode like I do for most dramas, and I especially didn't expect myself to grow attached to the storyline or characters in any way.

Favorite

Summary: Shin Ha-Ri, a normal researcher at a food company, disguises as her friend to help scare her blind date away. But everything goes awry when it turns out that date is with the CEO of her company... and he proposes on the first date.

Thoughts (*SPOILERS*):

Ok, I really didn't expect to like this one at all. I usually find K-Dramas to be super cringey like Bollywood movies. And don't get me wrong, this one did have its moments. But otherwise, I freaking loved this one so much!

This drama was one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. When she called him an Archaeopteryx, I think I about lost my mind T.T I couldn't stop laughing! Though he seems like a cool character, I enjoyed seeing Tae-Moo lose his cool every once in a while. Omg, Ha-Ri is just a jackpot of comedy, this girl could not keep her cool and it killed me! I could not stop laughing for the majority of it, it brings a smile to my face just thinking about it.

The characters of the show were so lovable! It was hard not to love Ha-Ri, in my opinion. She was just so sweet and had a good head on her shoulders, you can't hate her. Her mistakes were funny asl, and I can't really be mad at her (I, too, would do anything for a check). Kang Tae-Moo was too sweet, and honestly so lost for the most part, I couldn't help but love him. The side characters??? DON'T GET ME STARTED I LOVE THEM T.T. Jin Young-Seo and Cha Sung-Hoon were honestly the biggest ride or dies, yet they were also able to have personalities outside of being friends. Their storyline got me so hyped up! And the coworkers?!! (I forgot their names, but they provided so much comedy to this show, I would not mind a spin-off about them)

I usually hate it when characters just start getting paired off, it just pisses me off. But not for this drama. I could tell when the characters were going to get together, and I appreciated it. The coworkers (seriously, what were their names?!) just had this chemistry that I knew they were going to be dating by the second episode they were in. The main couple was nothing short of amazing (if I had one complaint, Tae-Soo stopped being as stubborn, which kind of upset me a bit, because his whole personality was being a hardass, and I usually hate the trope of love completely changing a person, idk why). And the friends side couple made me crave a relationship (I know it's not happening anytime soon, but damn, I can dream), with the constant push and pull.

I was able to finish this show in 2 days, and I am currently running off 2 hours of sleep because I stayed up watching this show instead of getting sleep like I was supposed to. It might be due to tiredness, but I wasn't able to focus on the last couple of episodes of the show, which did upset me. Hopefully, in a couple years time I can watch the show's ending again with a clearer head, but until then, I kind of lost interest during the last 2 episodes.

[sortofanobsession]

Buddie prompt: After Buck recovers from the lightening strike, Eddie is distant and trying to be stoic. One night Buck shows up for impromptu movie night. Chris is thrilled while Eddie barely holds it together. During the moving Chris lays his head over Buck's heart and listens to the beat, and then tells his dad to come and do the same. Before Eddie can protest Buck's pulling him in. The steady beat fills Eddie's ears and he finally looses it spectacularly, full emotional catharsis. Love ensues

Author's Note: I love this prompt soooo much. I stayed up later than I should have last night to start it and put off my actual work to get it finished. I just love prompts like this. They make me so happy. Hopefully I did it justice.

Buddie Fic

Ao3

Buck/Eddie, Christopher & his dad(s)

SPOILERS! other warnings: hospitals, injury, angst.

Word count: 3k+ (because of this song...)

I'm afraid of what you'll see, right now

Buck doesn't understand what is happening. Everyone seemed so glad to see him awake. Everyone but Eddie. Eddie would say he was glad, and Christopher was so happy to see him. But Eddie was pulling away from him, and Buck didn't understand why. Buck knows he was injured again. He was hit by lightning. The same lightning bolt had knocked Eddie off the truck too. Everyone has told him how Eddie reacted. They told him how Eddie had screamed for him over and over. Not even thinking about the fact he got hit too. Eddie had gone up the ladder without hesitation, without safety gear, without worrying about another lightning strike. A second hit so close to the first one would have killed Eddie. A second hit would have thrown Eddie off the ladder without a safety harness. Eddie could have died. But he had been more worried about Buck. That is what everyone told him. 

So why wouldn't Eddie look at him now? Why was Eddie making excuses to avoid hanging out? It hurts almost as much as his injuries. 

"Give him time, Evan," Maddie had told him. 

"But I don't get it-"

"I know," Maddie adds, squeezing Buck's hand gently that is holding Jee-Yun to his chest. The little girl playing with the fingers on Buck's other hand. Maddie had hoped seeing his niece would lift his spirits. And it did for a bit. Buck had smiled and hugged her, but as usual, things always swung back around to Eddie.

"When he came by with Christopher, he stayed by the door or stared out the window. What if he is mad? What if he doesn't want me to be Christopher's guardian anymore because it's too risky?"

"I can't tell you what is going on in his head, but the fact he brought Christopher means it's nothing you did, Buck. You know that. He isn't taking Christopher from you. He brought him to you, even when you weren't awake. If he hasn't said anything about changing it yet to you or any of us, I think your safe in that one."

"Or he is just waiting until Christopher isn't around or until I'm better to break the news," Buck counters.

"Or you're overthinking it," Chim said from where he sat beside Maddie. "I mean, this is Eddie. He's broody, and he can be a jerk, but he isn't the best at tact when he is in a mood. He always lets that stuff slip out. And it hasn't. And you know he's normally too stubborn to ask for help or advice, but he still drops hints even if he doesn't realize it. And no one has seen any. Not to any of the team. And trust me. Bobby has been watching. Since the two of you got knocked off that truck, Bobby hasn't stopped watching him. So Maddie's probably right. Let Frank deal with it and focus on what matters, getting better."

Buck didn't want to admit he could see what Chim meant. He just also couldn't shake the doubt he still had. Because this was Eddie. And Buck liked to think he knew Eddie better than anyone, but did he know this Eddie?

It was like the lawsuit all over again. Eddie wasn't talking to him. Not like before. Not like when Eddie would tell him everything. It stung. But every time Buck would try and bring it up to him, Eddie would shut it down. Tell him he just wanted Buck to focus on getting better. 

"You don't need my shit right now, Buck," Eddie had told him the one time Buck managed to get an answer. "You deal with getting better. Besides, that's what Frank is for." Then Eddie had made an excuse to leave the room, and Buck was left with just Christopher for a good half hour. Eddie may have thought that would make Buck feel better, but it didn't. 

Buck had hoped it would get better once he was out of the hospital. That Eddie would see that the doctors had deemed him healthy enough to go about it on his own. But it only made it worse. After Buck's leg, Eddie hovered. He would drag him out of bed. Take him to PT and force Buck to socialize. After Eddie got shot, it was more dinners with Buck. They had guys' nights, movie nights, and game nights. This time was different. Eddie made excuses. He'd still drop Christopher off to have days or nights with his Buck.

"Oh, Buckaroo," Carla had hugged him one day as she dropped Christopher off with him. "It's not you. He's trying to work through his issues. He's just too stubborn to admit he has them to us."

"What issues? What has changed other than me?" Buck asks her.

"I wish I could tell you, but you're just going to have to be more stubborn than he is and wait him out. He won't fully disappear on you. I can guarantee that much. He just might need a bit of a push."

Buck thinks about that, and with Christopher's help, he makes a plan. 

The next week he rents a movie. Buys a pizza and a few drinks and goes to Eddie's house. 

Eddie's eyes go wide when he answers the door. Buck feels uneasy at the brief panic that seems to cross Eddie's face before Eddie can hide it. Buck thinks maybe he screwed up. Maybe he is pushing too hard, too fast. Or that maybe Eddie has someone over. Maybe he- 

"Christopher is in the living room," Eddie says, interrupting Buck's mental panic. Eddie steps back to let Buck into the house. Buck hesitates, which earns a raised brow from Eddie. 

"You coming in?" Eddie asks. 

"Yeah," Buck nods.

"You okay? How you feeling?" Eddie asks as he takes the pizza from Buck and brings it to the kitchen. 

"I'm okay," Buck tells him. His nerves have him shifting his weight back and forth as he sets the drinks down. His hands go into his pockets to keep from showing how nervous he is. "Doctors said I could start getting out more, hence…" he gestures to the pizza, the rented movie on top of it, and the drinks. "This. Figured no better place to be than a medic's place." Buck's stomach dropped at the way Eddie seemed to flinch at his statement. And Buck starts to think he made the wrong decision. He doesn't realize that Eddie flinches because of the idea that Buck is afraid to go out somewhere he would enjoy hitting him hard. Buck picked him because either Buck was here just because Eddie would keep him alive while he hung out with Christopher, or maybe Buck was just scared to go anywhere yet.

"You're always welcome here, you know that," Eddie told him as he grabbed plates.

Buck had to bite his tongue to keep from questioning that statement. Because to him, it felt like Eddie was pushing him away. Like Eddie was keeping him at an arm's length, and Buck hates every second of it. But it was selfish to want more. Eddie was letting him in his house. He was letting him see Christopher. That was more than he had gotten during the lawsuit. So Buck kept that question to himself. 

Buck didn't see that as Eddie grabbed the plates. He was actually having a mini panic of his own. Eddie was taking a second while his back was turned to take a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Frank had told him something like this was a good thing. They needed to get back to normal. For Buck. For Christopher. For Eddie. It would help with Eddie's nightmares. It might help ease the constant fear that Eddie has now that every time he closes his eyes he sees Buck dying. Heart stopped by the lightning that hit both of them. Eddie had bile rising in his throat on more than one occasion since that night. He had been hoping the others hadn't noticed the dark circles under his eyes. That he didn't eat nearly as much these days. And the fact he seemed to run on pure caffeine and anxiety. Bobby had noticed but agreed to let Eddie keep trying to work through it with Frank. 

Eddie forces himself to breathe before turning back around and setting the plates on top of the pizza box so he can carry everything. The less Buck has to carry, the better. 

 "Grab those, and we'll get the movie going," Eddie says with a gesture to the drinks. 

They watch the movie as they eat. An uneasy tension fills the air that both men hope Christopher is spared from. Christopher was tucked tight between them, curled into Buck's side as they watch the movie. Or at least pretend to. Eddie couldn't describe the plot if he tried. He just watches the two of them out of the corner of his eye and tries to keep his breathing even. He had to force himself to eat normally. To not let Buck see the constant edge that Eddie seemed to teeter on these days. It's not until Christopher lets out a little hum of a sigh as he snuggles into Buck's chest that Eddie lets himself fully look down at him. 

Buck smiles down at Christopher. Ruffling the boy's hair slightly. And Eddie's heart hurts. It hurts because they were so close, never having this again. If they hadn't been able to get Buck down as quickly as they did. If Chimney hadn't started chest compressions as quickly as he did. Eddie squeezes his eyes shut against the mental image. Only opening them when he feels a slight tug on his forearm. 

"You should listen too. It helps," Christopher whispers as he tugs again at his sleeve. Eddie shakes his head. He was about to open his mouth to argue when he feels a hand on the back of his neck. Eddie goes ridged, and his gaze snaps to Buck's, but Buck just gives him a nervous smile and a gentle squeeze to the back of his neck. Eddie's muscles practically melt under Buck's movement. His breathing hitched, and he felt himself losing that tight grip he had had on emotions. Eddie's eyes close again as he tries to get himself together. But before he can, Buck is pulling him down. Eddie's eyes open to see Christopher now half on Buck's knee and half on the other side of the couch. Buck was now in the middle. Buck pulled him down until Eddie's ear is against his chest. And Eddie can hear the way Buck's heart beats steadily in his chest. He can feel Buck's breath in his hair and the rise and fall of his chest against him. Any grip Eddie had left on his emotions, his control deteriorated. The sobs hit him harder than the lightning had. Harder than he hit the ground that night. It stole the air from his lungs and blurred his vision. He fists tight in Buck's shirt.

"Eddie…" Buck starts but is stopped as he feels Eddie shake his head against him. "Eds, It's okay." Buck shifts to hold him tighter. He wants to comfort him. He can't help it. Eddie buries his face in Buck's neck and cries. Buck looks over at Christopher, who looks a bit scared. He hadn't expected such a visceral reaction from his dad. "It's okay, bud," Buck assures him. "I'll take care of him." 

Christopher nodded and moved to sit on the chair to keep watching the movie. Or at least give his dad and Buck more space. But he didn't want to leave, not if his dad or Buck might need him. He knew his dad might feel embarrassed. So he would stay for now.

"Hey," Buck whispers to Eddie as he holds him tight. One hand rubs Eddie's back as he cries. The other is in his hair as he holds the back of Eddie's head. "I'm here, Eds." Buck could feel the way Eddie's breath stuttered against his skin. The way Eddie shook. Eddie was falling to pieces in Buck's arms, and it tears at something deep inside Buck. He had missed Eddie the past few weeks. He didn't like the idea of Eddie suffering without him. And now it was clear Eddie had missed him too. Eddie had meant it when he said he didn't want to put his shit on Buck. But Carla was right. Maddie and Chim were right. Eddie had clearly been working through something. He clearly didn't want to be a burden to Buck. He didn't want to hurt Buck and was willing to hurt himself to do it. But Carla, Chim, and Maddie were wrong about one thing. Buck shouldn't have waited. He should have tried sooner. Because if this was how Eddie was now, after weeks of working with Frank and trying to sort through it. And knowing what the others had said about that night. This is what they both needed. They both hadn't wanted to be a burden, but they both needed each other. "I'm not going anywhere, Eddie. Do you hear me? I am not leaving. I'm not going to leave you. You made sure of that. I'm here because you saved me."

"Buck…I…you…" Eddie tries. 

"Shhhh," Buck brushes his fingers through Eddie's hair. "It's okay. Cry if you need to. Scream if you need to. I don't care. Take whatever you need. I'm here." 

Eddie struggles to steady his breathing enough to speak. "I need you," Eddie manages. "God, I need you." He goes absolutely pliant as Buck pulls Eddie into his lap. 

"I need you too," Buck tells him. He glances up when he realizes the movie is no longer playing. Christopher is no longer in the chair. He looks back to see Christopher put his finger to his lips and shush him and smile as he disappears down the hall. Buck's heart swells at how much he adores that smart and loving kid. When Christopher is gone, he looks back to Eddie. "The last few weeks have been shit because I missed you. Maddie and Carla said to give you time. You told me that too, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't wait anymore because I missed you. I need you."

"I'm so sorry," Eddie says. Any strength he had melts away as he meets Buck's gaze.

"Nothing to apologize for," Buck smiles before shifting himself so he can brush his thumb along the edge of the dark circles under Eddie's eyes. "I do regret not coming here sooner."

"You needed to heal," Eddie says, one hand still tight in his shirt. The other now pressed over Buck's heart to feel the steady beat under his palm. "I needed you to be okay. I can't lose you…I just can't. I'm not-"

"I know the feeling," Buck chuckles. "Eddie, when you were shot, it was one of the most terrifying moments in my life, and yes, that includes being crushed. The only moment that comes anywhere close to that was losing Christopher in the tsunami."

"Buck, you-"

"I know it wasn't my fault. Just like you getting shot wasn't. Just like it's not either of our fault that lightning hit me. Hit us." Buck brushes tears away from Eddie's cheek. "What you can take credit for is saving me. You made sure the line wasn't damaged. You helped get me down. You drove me to the hospital. And you give me every reason to keep pushing to get better."

"You saved me first," Eddie points out. "You got me to the truck after I got shot. You kept me from bleeding out. You took care of Christopher. You drove me home. Then when I just kept losing myself, you pulled me back. You took care of Christopher again. You called Bobby. You helped patch my walls. You are always the reason I get back up off the ground. Even after the lightning."

"We make one hell of a pair," Buck says with a grin. "Please don't push me away again. I know you thought you were doing what was best, but it just made me miss you. Because you were there, but you weren't really there an-"

"I won't," Eddie is probably too quick to agree, but he's sitting on Buck's lap, for Christ's sake. Who was he to argue now? "I was stupid." 

"You were doing your best," Buck assures him, his fingers brushing against his skin again. "I know you weren't doing it to hurt me."

"I'd rather eat glass than intentionally hurt you again," Eddie admits.

"Let's not do that," Buck shakes his head but smiles. "And I was more confused than anything."

"Nah, I'm sure you had that kicked puppy look you always get," Eddie grins.

"That's rich coming from the guy sitting in my lap," Buck teases. 

Eddie turns red when he realizes how he must look, but when he tries to get up, Buck holds him tighter.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing, Eddie," Buck takes the opportunity to bury his face in Eddie's neck this time. "I wanted nothing more than just to talk to you the last few weeks. If you think now that I've gotten you here that I'm just going to let you get away, you are wrong. You must have forgotten that I can be just as stubborn as you." 

Eddie shudders at the way Buck's breath ghosts across his skin. Buck can't help but chuckle. 

"Chris is-"

"In his room," Buck grins.

"What?" Eddie looks around as best he can from his spot pinned against Buck. 

"He shut the movie off and went to his room when you started talking again. I think he figured I had it under control. Bold of him to assume I wouldn't say something stupid. I did get my brain fried by a lot of electricity."

That earns a breathy laugh from Eddie. 

"Probably was more worried he'd see something scarring. Like his dad balling like a baby in your lap," Eddie winced. "Poor kid's gonna need even more therapy." 

"No more than the rest of us," Buck admits. "But he's a smart kid. He knows you can't just keep things bottled up. That this is a good thing."

"I am glad you're here," Eddie says. 

"Me too." Buck grins, and it's Eddie's turn to reach up and touch. He runs his fingers along Buck's cheek. Then his birthmark. Something he's wanted to do since day one but never thought he would get to. 

"I thought I lost you," Eddie admits. 

"But you didn't," Buck assures him. "Quite the opposite. I think you're stuck with me even more now."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Eddie counters, his hand moving to Buck's jaw. "And the feeling's mutual. You thought I used to hover. Well, you're in for it now." He gently tugs on Buck's chin until they are a breath apart. "You're never getting rid of us."

"Never want to," Buck breathes before he closes the gap, and their lips meet in a kiss. 

"Carla says the doctor says none of that serious stuff!" They hear Christopher shout from his bedroom. Buck blushes to the tips of his ears as Eddie groans. But Buck is first to recover.

"Tell Carla she's off the clock, and you come back, and we'll finish the movie," Buck manages to say. Eddie groans again but moves back to sit in his own seat. 

"You guys aren't going to be gross if I do, right?" Christopher's voice comes from the hall now. 

"We won't be gross," Buck says with an eye roll.

"I make no promises," Eddie mutters. His hand finds Buck's and laces their fingers together. Buck grins over at him and steals a kiss.

"Gross," Christopher mumbles as he sits in the chair, but the grin on his face speaks volumes. Clearly happy his dad is feeling better and that Buck is happy too. 

"Sorry, not sorry," Buck smirks before grabbing the remote with his free hand and starting the movie again. He snuggles tighter into Eddie's side when Eddie drapes his arm over the back of the couch before dropping it on Buck's shoulder. 

"Not one bit," Eddie mutters with a smirk. 

"Nope," Buck agrees.

"Shhh, you already talked through half the movie," Christopher doesn't even look at them. The pair try not to laugh as they all settle back in. 

"I don't even know what is happening in this movie," Eddie whispers. Christopher shushes him again.

"I'll explain it later," Buck assures him.

[gallusrostromegalus]

The plot starts off with a hybrid of Cinderella and the Taming Of The Shrew where a woman with her own daughter marries a Duke who has an older daughter, and then the Duke dies under "Mysterious circumstances".

But he leaves in his will that his fortune won't be disbursed until his daughter (the elder one) marries.

The elder daughter (like, 20ish?) is refusing to get married because her step-mother is trying to set her step-sister (age 12) with IDK A Medieval Italian supreme court judge?? (Age 65) , but the marriage can't go through until the Duke's fortune disburses and the mother can pay the dowry.

Other thing about the Eldest Daughter: She Always Speaks The Truth. Not only does she refuse to lie, but kind of like a retroactive Cassandra, everything she says is True. As you can imagine, this is not terribly popular In Fantasy Medieval Italian High Society.

The mother, big mad about being stuck with this stubborn, awkward girl, gets a Lawyer and a Bishop and a bunch of other authority figures to modify the will so that "Should the plague take my eldest, we will not be bereft *wink*" AKA if the eldest just dies or disappears without getting married, the mother will get the money anyway. (They all know she's going to kill the girl, but they're getting a cut.) The Step-Mother then, in true operatic fashion of Going Way Too Hard tortures the Elder daughter, and locks her in the basement to bleed out and die.

There, in the darkness, abandoned by God and the Law and Family etc. the daughter turns to the last thing she has left.

BLACK MAGIC

(Come on, it's Opera. Everybody knows Black Magic)

So she summons a Demon As One Does.

He appears to her in the darkness- And is immediately terrified and transfixed because even though it's totally dark, she's looking right at, and through him, and Can See Him Exactly As He Is.

Which is Spooky, because he's been having some serious self-esteem issues lately- Demon has his own problems, you see- He's a Prince of Hell and thus he's the victim of Hellish Politics and beset by all his fellow demons. And he's Terrible at machinations and scheming because he too feels an attachment to The Truth and it's making him feel Demonically Inadequate, even if he's got the Wrath and Violence part down pat. ...So He's been lurking on the material plane to get away from it all and been watching her suffering, because he too feels the kinship of being betrayed and hunted by all that ought love him and telling The Truth no matter how easy it would be to lie.

So now, here he is in the darkness, and his crush is looking RIGHT AT HIM and he's genuinely frightened because he's never cared about someone's opinion of him before.

His aria about this is pretty great, but THEN:

She reaches out to him and says

"There is something wrong with you There is something wrong with you that is also wrong with me What is this kinship I feel with you? The affliction grants you Grace and Beauty, and leaves me a Hobbling wretch Yet I believe we share some kinship- I know the fear in your eyes, for I see it in every mirror"

(I know the first two lines are from a poem in Mirror Traps by Hera Lindsay Bird, but this is what my eye-pain-delerium brain supplied me with)

He goes down on one knee in front of her and promises to do anything she wishes- He's seen how she suffers and If he cannot have his own recompense, he will have hers- -For what price? You are wise, and I am weary- I am a Demon and there is but one currency we trade in. Give me your soul, and I will give you everything you desire. She thinks about it for a bit, and he makes every offer he can- I will torture your stepmother as she tortured you! The Judge lusting after your sister? I'll make his dick explode! That bishop that has his head up his ass- I'll make him shove it up there so far he turns inside-out!

-Love me. She says. The suffering of others will do nothing to ease my own, though some bitter part of my would thrill to see it. Love me, Truly love me as neither of us have been but deserved, and my soul will be yours.

…If I were to Truly Love you, then my soul would be yours.

-Would that be such a terrible thing? …It would not. He says, and promptly spirits her off to his palace in hell, and explains his situation as he tends to her.

[At this point my brain extensively hallucinated some real smutty hurt/comfort, because I am hurting and need the comfort]

Once they understand each other, they decide to do a strangers on a train-

He goes to Earth where the mother is planning to marry the younger daughter off to the creepy old judge and tricks everyone into betraying everyone else in disguise as a simple manservant, and spirits the younger daughter away back to Hell to play with Hellhound puppies all while making sure he Never Tells A Single Lie, because it's not a sin for a demon to be honest- it's a demonstration of his Mastery that he doesn't NEED to.

Meanwhile, She goes to the royal court of Hell and goes around to all the Demons and tells them The Truth about themselves, which they can't stand as all their power is based on a sense of self-importance and secret rules that don't actually have anything to do with reality. After losing most of their power to The Divine Wrath Of Autsim, they scamper off to Earth to get more power from their humans, who are all in a tizzy because there's some kind of political thing going on, and the Elder Daughter and the Demon play off each other's work to get everyone ready to fuck up each other's shit.

(This part of the dream got muddy because Actual Plot is something I have to do while conscious and I'm not doing more than I have to until my eye stops trying to to persuade me to gouge it out with a spoon)

ANYWAY, The Final Act is the Big Wedding where all the Humans are plotting to murder each other and the Demons are all shriveled up little creatures and The Daughter and The Demon Prince turn up and reveal it was them all along and that ALL of you suck and have also ruined each other- the Judge has gotten the lawyer disbarred, the Lawyer had gotten the Bishop caught committing fraud, the Bishop has gotten the judge excommunicated and ALL the mother's friends and allies are broke and their careers are dead and now that they have no social agency, they can't hurt anyone anymore.

And then the caterer steps forward and reveals that He's Actual For Real God, and he is SO PROUD of the daughter and the demon for stopping this corrupt fracas without violence or lying! The shriveled demons are Human Souls that had been cast into hell to atone but weren't learning the lesson, and the humans are headed that way unless they really get their shit together.

The demon prince remarks that it's odd that God would be pleased with the work of a demon.

What Demon? Says the Daughter, who always says the truth.

Yeah what Demon? Laughs God. You're one of my Best Angels, who oversees the rehabilitation of the wicked. You looked like you were getting overwhelmed though, so I found this Paragon of Truth for you. And you Paragon looked like you were in need of help so I found this Angel for you! Now, is someone getting married today or are we just gonna let this cake go to waste?

God marries them, there's a big party and The All Live Happily Ever After as the King and Queen of Hell, and her sister gets big into Demonic Dog Breeding.

and then I explicitly dreamed the voice of some art historian saying "-And then it got banned EVERYWHERE."

My friend's kid gave me pinkeye and I have been on a particularly fuckt up sleep schedule about it and dreamed an entire Italian Opera on the themes of heaven and hell and the power of love and recognition of the self in other and the tragedy of loving the idea of something rather than the thing itself and the dream ended with the phrase "-And then it was banned EVERYWHERE."

[not-that-blog]

My DID is out of control for the first time since I was maybe 19¿ and it's nothing like it was then; not destructive or chaotic or life destroying...

Just so switchy and scared and detatched.

And I'm in one of the queerest and happiest relationships I've ever had and I should be better at communicating and admitting to myself and my partner how much I adore them.

And I talked to my cousin tonight and we were doing 'shadow work time' and talking and he's one of the few people I'm fully honest with because him and my housemate are the two people in this world I know will never judge or hate me for my dumbassery from mental illness and trauma as long as I keep recovering long term.

Those two are heaven sent when it comes to my sobriety especially.

Anyway, we were talking and it came out of my mouth how I'm honestly still afraid of being queer and every time I date someone and have to confront it again, I realise that everything that goes wrong I mentally read as a 'punishment from god' because growing up christian that is a lot of what I got told.

So when I missed pride last weekend and couldn't see my partner because I had/have a bacterial infection that was highly contagious and is now still left me with an ear infection and post infection lung issues… I still struggle to not blame myself for it feeling like I did something wrong to make some higher power mad.

And part of converting to Judaism was the 'These things are not punishments, they're just living organisms living' approach most people give me and that for the first time in my life I had people not blaming me and my queerness as a reason my first girlfriend and her sister died.

Or why I lost my babies. And may never be able to get pregnant.

Or telling me that I was abused as a kid because I was queer and it was a punishment for being 'inherently sinful' and that I somehow deserved the abuse because I didn't grow up to be a 'perfect christian housewife.'

I struggle to tell my partner that they're as amazing as they are and how much I genuinely love and want them, or ask the questions that I need to ask for the reassurance we probably both need at this point; because I has so much religious trauma from being raised christian that at 25, nearly 26, after years away from it; it still makes me feel like maybe I'm better off dead because I am so afraid of being punished for being gay and trans.

And he is honestly so fucking incredible and kind and patient and caring and strong and stubborn and I love them dearly.

I doubt my polyamory less than I doubt my queer.

Purely because that one feels less like I'm going to be hated for it.

No one threatened my life for being polyamorous.

No one made their kid homeless for dating me because of polyamory.

No one glassed someone because they stood up for me being polyamorous.

No one told me that my babies were dead because of my polyamory.

But being bi? Being trans?

I had a panic attack when Moose just called and told his father he's bi and dating a man when we were dating. I cried for months over the fact that went well. I still cry over it.

And he'd been told how I'd had an ex's father threaten to kill me after I came out as trans bc I 'turned their son gay'.

But I don't think I've told many people how I watched my first girlfriends sister get glassed to the face when she stood in front of two 13/14yr old teenage girls and a 45+ yr old drunk man who was furious about 'having a faggot dyke of a child who should've never been born in the first place.' and was definitely going to try and kill us.

It's my partners birthday.

In like 6-7hrs we're going to brunch.

And all I can think is how I keep trying to shove down this trauma as if it doesn't constantly make saying the words 'I love you' to them absolutely terrifying because I spend every second of my days fighting my OCD that my existence is not going to hurt them and I can not push them away because I'm scared of something horrifying happening when there's no evidence of that happening.

They have a supportive and loving family.

I have cut my toxic family off and am low contact with my mother.

I am safe and living out of home and I shouldn't still be this scared.

But I still can't really imagine myself getting old and I wish I could wrap myself in their arms more often and just hold them close because even holding their hand is usually enough to stop the spiral in my head because just the reassurance they're here and real and safe is helpful. (I have hallucinations and have been literally haunted by hallucinations of my ex girlfriend's death and her sisters since honestly hours about hearing she died and how. I sometimes have this fear that everything around me is a hallucination and I'm going to lose everyone because of it despite my hallucinations having not been that level of severity since I was like 7-9¿ish and had been awake for almost a week straight from panic attacks from how much traumatic shit was happening and it was like right as my parents started talking divorce and we were getting dragged out of bed to go to my grandmothers constantly which is where I was being SA'd so like; no safe home life, no safe school life, just night-terrors.... hallucinating a whole new world because I was that sleep deprived and fucked up wasn't the worst thing to happen but as an adult it's my biggest fear because now it would be life destroying when back then it was just another bad month.)

I don't know how to unpack this trauma anymore. Or what to do.

I just want to be able to love my partner without being afraid of losing them.

I want to be able to tell them how much I love them while sober. I don't want to get drunk to feel safe enough to love someone.

I don't want to be so scared of my own feelings that I accidentally numb myself because I'm still afraid me being queer will mean I'm a danger to my partner.

I just want to love him how he deserves to be loved.

[fictionfixations]

Stiles & Other Stiles Dream Sequence

disclaimer: i have never seen teen wolf. all my knowledge comes from fanfiction. also spoilers

been having brainrot over this. ive been thinking about this since yesterday but like 'no. im not gonna write it'

..but now ive folded because i cant stop thinking about this conversation. maybe some of the dialogue feels weird. but thats because the first convo i came up with that probably ran a lot smoother i cannot remember. and i never wrote it down

[where the sheriff is dead]

the sheriff dies

stiles is all sad like '..i never got to tell him the truth.'

dream, where theres two stiles (would be void, but. idfk where in the timeline this would be and if that wouldve happened. well not void void but like. teh stiles that 'was' void. the thing of void that remained even when the actual thing left)

Other Stiles: You know what I think you feel? Relief.

Stiles: What?

Other Stiles: I think you felt relief. There's no one you would have to lie to anymore now that he's gone. No more tough conversations, no more facing his disappointment-- Just you and yourself. And now you can do whatever you want without worries of consequences.

Stiles: (..It didn't even occur to me..) No! That's not..!

Other Stiles: But isn't it? This isn't livable, y'know. Sneaking out every other day, researching till exhaustion hits you so bad you black out. He thought you did drugs. Ending up in the wrong sort of crowd. And no matter how much he grounded you, made you do chores, lectured-- it didn't work. And he probably thought, 'what am I doing wrong?' 

Stiles: ...

Other Stiles: And you know what? Love can so easily turn into hate. Resentment. You know how he gets when he goes into one of his drunk stupors. Remember?

Stiles: No...

Other Stiles: When mom died. Remember what he said? 

Stiles: Stop it!

Other Stiles: You killed her.

Stiles: Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!

Other Stiles: No matter how much you tell me to shut up, it doesn't change the fact that I'm correct. You want to know what he thought of you?

Stiles: No!

Other Stiles: You already know. After all, he tried everything! He gave you space, he tried to be there, and you just didn't budge. Because no, you were just too stubborn. Just like mom. You know, she didn't even tell dad about her diagnosis until months passed because she knew he'd be crushed. And you know what? He feared that you were doing the same thing. That one day he would find you dead in a ditch. And everyone would see you as just another drug addict who got a little too high and fucked up, and would spit on your name. Or you know what? Not even give a crap.

Stiles: Stop it...

Other Stiles: So if he wasn't the one doing anything wrong, then it was you. You were wrong.

Stiles: No...

Other Stiles: You were messed up and he had no idea how to fix you. What was the point of hiding anyway? Oh wait, I know! Because dear old dad loved you, but he didn't trust you. No, you broke it. And it was too late.

Stiles: I know that. I know that it was too late... I..

Other Stiles: Hell, maybe if you sprouted crap about werewolves and hunters, he would've given up right then and there. Because you were delusional, weren't you? And who knows, maybe if you told him at first, maybe he would've believed you. Or maybe he would've thought you were lying. Maybe he would've gotten mad. Like, who the hell are you to try to reason real life murder cases with fantasy, right? *laugh*

Stiles: ...

Other Stiles: No, how dare you? This isn't time for fun and games, Stiles! You think he would've said that? Maybe he would've been disgusted by you and your blasé attitude towards such a tragedy. Such a loss of life. 

Stiles: ..That's not..

Other Stiles: You think you could've gotten proof? Everyone knows Scotty'll follow you. So what if he backs you up? Doesn't mean a thing. Besides, he was chasing after a girl, you really think he would've dropped it to prove to your dad, 'hey, I'm a monster!' And you know Derek would never have been up for it. No point in trying.

So all that's left is you and your words. Does he trust you? Does he trust you enough to believe what you're saying? 

Stiles: ..Just stop it already.

Other Stiles: You know the answer. He wouldn't have believed you. Maybe he even hates you for having such a shitty son. Can't do anything right. Remember Jackson? Never would've thought it was in you to pull such a 'prank'. I thought I taught you better. Y'know?

Stiles: ..You're such a liar. I didn't feel relief. I never did. So what if there were hard times!? He was my dad! And I didn't make it any easier for him.. We still loved each other..

Other Stiles: Did he?

Stiles: Just! I don't need this right now. I don't need you trying to undermine everything and--

Other Stiles: Am I wrong?

Stiles: Just shut up! Just shut up for one second. I don't know who you are, why you're me, where these thoughts are coming from, I just-!

"Stiles?"

He opened his eyes.

The teen shuddered, feeling all sweaty and gross. 

"Wha..?"

inspired by the dream part of this: (sheriff being dead came from me starting a diff fic where he dies. and then i went to bed.)

[dadr0ckmusic]

stranger things headcanons because i said so (fruity four + billy)

basically them in my dr

steve harrington

does restaurant challenges unironically. like he has to eat a big wet daddy burger in an hour just for a plaque on the wall and a pic with the owner smh

calls his car babygirl

modern au where he texts the girl he likes at 1:11, 2:22, etc just to get her hopes up

loves madonna. you can't tell me otherwise

he does yoga. and if you catch him he'll threaten your life

calls his house 'the love shack'

if you were just becoming friends with him he would listen to your music or do your hobbies with you just to make you happy

would totally rock out to stacy's mom

he gives off lactose intolerant vibes. i do not make the rules.

would definitely have playlists called "alt songs that make you drink monster" or "sad vibes" or "coronavirus got me like"

would've fucking KILLED on grindr

would love twilight. he's on team jacob

laughs at minion memes

robin buckley

the literal queen of your mom jokes

she would totally say "who up wonking they willy rn"

would work at spencer's

she had a ton of hamsters that died the most traumatic deaths when she was a kid and they're all buried in her backyard

loooves poop and fart jokes

she still sleeps with the same stuffed bear she had when she was little (and we are NOT judging)

says "oh my goodness gracious" at the funniest possible times

would literally FUCK at rainbow loom

her childhood room was purple and steve picks on her for it

cannot use chopsticks to save her life

one time steve made her mad so she literally WENT OFF THE GRID and he didn't see her for a whole week and he was freaking the fuck out

was a bug girl. worms? fuck yeah. roly polys? best buds. what the fuck is that thing? it has a terrarium now.

literally is the most caring person on the planet. she's always worrying about you and what you're feeling and what you're doing

only eats the marshmallows out of lucky charms

is scared of bees

billy hargrove

he bakes. he bakes cookies, cupcakes, you name it. if you ever catch him he's FORCING you to taste whatever he's making

an AVID reader. he's got books all over his room, stolen library books in the glove box of his car, and he's reading the hawkins post every morning no matter what

his mom taught him how to sew. lets say after a mishap with the whole 'different dimension' thing, you're bummed cause you got a hole in your favorite shirt. billy would be like "i can fix it for you" and you're like "what??" but he just gets mad and goes "just give me the fucking shirt" and then the next day he's bringing it to you good as new

hates cooked carrots

can fall asleep anywhere. couch, car, at a party, you name it. he will find a spot to fall asleep

he was actually very interested in supernatural stuff when he was younger. and then when max started telling him about everything billy was like "wait. i read this about... blah blah blah" and max is just so surprised

he can totally make a mean cocktail. you want a pina colada? whipped up in seconds. craving a margarita? he's got the salt ready. feeling like an old fashioned? liquor's already in front of him.

he never wears sunscreen. not a single spf anywhere on his body.

calls girls broads and you can NOT tell me otherwise

totally thinks metallica was at its best in their thrash era. sorry bud i'd hate to break it to you

hates the fourth of july cause of y'know.

i feel like he would totally get into dog rescue after he leaves hawkins.

would totally kick ass at mario kart. like he's THE BEST and he always chooses bowser

would totally bash you for your music taste if it was different than his. "what the hell is a beatle?" "mick jagger is not hot." "queen? aren't they gay?" "zeppelin? who taught you that?"

a literal GOD at making mac n' cheese

nancy wheeler

so so so stubborn it's actually annoying.

call her 'einstein' and you're six feet under the floorboards

the tom cruise poster in her room has stared her in the face ever since robin commented on it

nancy's actually amazing at rollerskating. like even mike was surprised because when did she get good at that?

she has nightmares about what happened to barb multiple times a week :(

please know that if you're really close to her she would kill someone for you. no hesitation.

she's super literal? like when someone asks a hypothetical question she's like "when would this happen? why w-" and then immediately get cut off

has a tonnn of notebooks/journals just filled with random stuff like doodles, school notes, reminders, and little ramblings

has plants named after each of her friends and when something's wrong with one of the plants, there's always something wrong with the friend.

is a feminist (slay)

she saves every birthday card given to her and keeps them in a box in her closet

she's a morning person. up and at 'em before 9 every morning and it pisses the gang off when they all sleep in the wheeler's basement. "nancyyyyy..... close the curtains i beg of you..." "it's such a beautiful day, don't you think?"

she's actually amazing at shoplifting.

eddie munson

is allergic to peanuts

when i tell you this man is spontaneous... think 100x more. he'll pull up to your house at 11pm and declare that he planned a road trip while sitting in detention earlier that day and that you're going with him. "eddie what are you doing here? it's so late." "we're going to ohio. we're gonna stop in columbus for like five minutes and drive back." "what the hell."

has cried to sweet child o' mine and will keep that fact to his grave

owns multiple pairs of boxers with superhero logos on them.

definitely has 10 in 1 shampoo that he uses for everything.

ate dirt as a child

if you ever smoke pot with him, just expect him to say the weirdest shit while he's doing whatever. "do you think steve is thinking about me right now?" "yoooooo...... uh.... yo..... um...... i forgot....." "i want to get a cat." "shut up eddie."

he's just,,,, so oblivious,,,,, to sarcasm, flirting, jokes, etc

has ADHD, no doubt about it.

just like billy, he'll bash you on your music taste no matter what. even if you like the same music as him. "that's your favorite tool song? god, you could do way better than that." "c'mon, you know that dio sang better than ozzy." "munson, you're lying straight through your teeth and you know it."

will make you friendship bracelets and you KNOW you're wearing them till you die.

modern au where you're facetiming him and he takes SO MANY facetime pics of you and sometimes makes them his lockscreen. he thinks he's THE SHIT for that.

he giggles. a total giggler.

he flicks dustin in the head all the time.

[xtinyslip]

lcvenderhcze​:

“DAD. YOU ARE A HERO. I THINK… I THINK IT’S HOPE WHO HAS FORGOTTEN WHO SHE IS. heroes don’t.. kill people, right? not like that. and she’s hanging around some very scary people lately. i’m not a fan of kang. he nearly killed us, i know that, but.. he had a kid. morgan took him in. he’s a really sweet kid and he’s asking about his dad all the time and… yeah, i’ve been there. i know what that’s like. just.. makes me feel bad. am i so terrible to feel bad that he died like that?” she bit down on her lower lip, because.. yes, maybe it was a betrayal towards her family to feel like this. after all, hope had done what she had for all of them, right? “i love you, dad. always. you know that. i’m not a little girl anymore. i’m here for you. to have your back for anything, okay?” she moved forward, wrapping her arms tightly around him and right now, she did not want to let go, that was for sure. she could not. right? “she’s doing great! at least, i think so. i think that what she did for marcus was really brave. and disbanding kang’s company with hope and destroying all his tech.. that was a smart move on their end. of course, you know that grandpa’s dating morgan’s mom, so… we all see each other all the time.” and right now, her father would get to be a part of that and cassie couldn’t be happier that was the case. right? “are you.. are you sure? you always said that it took grandpa being shot for hope to even call him dad again. they’re just… super stubborn. both of them. the - lock them in a room together and force them to get along - type, wouldn’t you agree?” that was a little joke and yes, perhaps that was the truth. she was a terrified kid, when it came to all this. “you know he’ll tell you that he doesn’t need it at first. tried telling me the same thing. he’s just so stubborn, but.. i have a feeling he needs us. REALLY NEEDS US.” cassie had a feeling that was the case. “do you think so? that things could be okay again?”

@xtinyslip

“i don’t think i could have said it better myself. i think that’s exactly what’s happening and i think i know why. i just need to figure out how to stop it.” to prevent it from going any further and for hope to lose who she was for good. this was his fault. right? he’d died, come back with no memories and then he had died again. there was no wonder she was mad... he didn’t know what he would have done if this was the other way around. scott listened, nodding his head to show that he was taking in all her concerns and every word she was saying. “the kids with morgan? okay, that’s good. that’s good.”  he nodded, responding to parts of the conversation at a time because it had been a lot. “are you kidding me? no, course it doesn’t make you a bad person. it makes you... you.” was it obvious how proud he was? god, he hoped so. “you are not a bad person for not wanting that to happen to someone. even if that someone is kang. i don’t disagree that he had to go... but like that? i feel terrible about it too.” there had to have been other options that they hadn’t thought of. right? like sending kang back to the quantum realm? like anything. killing kang may have been their last resort but torture? leaving a kid without any parents at all? no, he could never agree with that. “i couldn’t imagine anyone else i want more to have my back right now. okay? but i still need you safe. little girl or not.” he smiled sadly, holding her close, arms wrapped tightly around her. she was his everything, she always had been. “well, i’m glad you seem to have found a good friend.” the rest of what she had said was still processing. “kang’s technology -- it’s all gone?” was it? because at least now if he did come back they stood a fighting chance. that was a move he did agree with. “i agree they are both stubborn.” he smiled. “but i think hope has some healing to do before we lock her in a room with anyone.” right? and that was his gentle approach to the subject. “he’s your grandpa so if he needs us? we’ll be there. i promise.” he nodded. “i think that i’m not willing to give up until they are. what about you?” @lcvenderhcze

[desayunho]

TIME OF LOVE — (41) he died

about a month later...

tw: the following scenes are +18, it doesn't contain information important to the plot so you can skip it if you want to.

Wooyoung could hear your voices getting closer to the room. You yelling at San and him completely ignoring you and humming even louder as he kept walking with the you on his shoulder.

"Hey did you order a stubborn girl? here you go”

Wooyoung was still scrolling in his phone when San walked in, so it definitely caught him by surprise when San dropped their girlfriend into the bed. He decided to play along.

"This isn't what I ordered, I wanted a blonde one!” He says putting down his phone

“Ha ha so funny”

He turned to face the pretty girl now laying on their huge bed (San had mentioned the name of the bed a dozens of times but he just keeps forgetting it) and moved closer and as he had done a million times before, he hugged you tightly and placed his head on your chest, all while you gave San a killing glare.

“Oh come on babygirl stop giving me that look”

“I was just trying to organize things a bit so we can get done with the moving in stuff but you can't even–”

“Alright alright! I get it” he moved in closer so he now was kneeling on the bed “I promise I will wake up really early tomorrow and I’ll unpack the shit out of those boxes!”

“Hell yeah you will!” he simply smiles and nods

It was hard for you to get mad at them, specially when Wooyoung was laying on you and you were distracted playing with his soft hair. And San was about to take full advantage of that.

“I can definitely show you something that's far more exciting than cleaning and unpacking some boxes”

Wooyoung noticed San was no longer standing next to them, instead he had moved to the foot of the bed and his sweet expression was no longer there. You didn't have time to notice the look those two were sharing, because before you could react San was already pulling you legs apart and laying in between.

“So can I?” San asks toying with the hem of your shorts looking at you with the same sparkly eyes he always had reserved for you and Wooyoung only

“I guess it's the least you could do after you threw me into bed like a potato sack-”

San didn't let you finish that sentence. He was a man on a mission so he moved quickly and within minutes you were naked from the waist down, and he looked like the happiest men on earth.

Wooyoung was close in second place. The moment you and San started to argue in the group chat, he knew where this was going (not like he would complain about it) so he was ready to move as soon as San gave him the signal. He had already moved behind you, holding you against his chest, one of his hands softly caressing your stomach, and the other one moving your hair to the side so he can have more skin to kiss, lick and bite.

For a moment you're so lost in the feeling of Wooyoung's mouth on your neck that you forget about the man between your legs. But he's quick to remind you of his presence by softly biting your inner thigh, and slowly kissing his way up, moving closer to where you needed him the most. But when you think you're about to feel his silky tongue, he stops.

When you open your eyes to look at him ready to scold him for stopping, he's already looking up at you grinning like the devil “I love you” he says before diving in and continuing with his main task.

Before meeting you San had never fully enjoyed eating a girl out, but now watching you come undone with his tongue, it definitely became his favorite thing to do. He's passionate and sensual, paying extra attention to the places that seem to make you squirm and moan the most, as he himself is enjoying every second of it.

“Sa– Sannie–” your thread your fingers through his hair, pulling a little when his tongue starts attacking your clit, and he knows that you only pull his hair like that when you're close so he's ready to give you his all “ ‘m gonna– sa– san–”

His eagerness is making it impossible to you to form a sentence, but he doesn't stop, on the contrary, it seems to encourage him more.

“It's okay baby, he knows” you hear Wooyoung's little whispers in your ear “Go on, make a mess of his face”

Like on command, after hearing his words you're cumming all over your boyfriend’s face. Its like everything stops for a minute and all you can hear is your own breathing, and then you feel him smile against you while he guides you through your high.

Once you're back to your senses, you can't help but crumble on top of Wooyoung, who is quick to hold you steady with both hands.

“Okay what's next?” San asks licking his lips and smiling at you like he hadn't just gave you an orgasm that had you curling your toes and fighting for air.

“Well that's for our princess to decide” Wooyoung whisper in your ear and you feel how the goosebumps spread out through your body. He giggles at that. We’ll see who laughs last Jung Wooyoung.

“I want you now” You twist your head to look at Wooyoung and he seems to be mesmerized by your lips. But you obviously don't forget about the other boy in the room, and turn to say “But I want you too”

“Of course gorgeous, but why don't you go ahead with Woo first” he says smiling softly at both of you, taking his tshirt off “He looks like he's about to explode in his pants”

“ ‘am not!” he tries to fight back but you already moved and are straddling his lap

“Shut up and kiss me” as usual he's eager to follow your commands on bed, he's excited but how could he not be after the show you two put on for him? A man can only hold it in so much.

Within 2 minutes you both are very much naked and eager to keep going, and like the dom he pretended to be, he pushed you to the mattress so he was on top of you making it easier to align himself with your core and enter your pussy in one swift motion.

Although he admits he's not a fan of the position, you're so warm and tight that he's losing his mind little by little.

“Love, hey look at me” he hears you say but he's having a hard time holding himself back. Seeing San go down on you had left him all worked up, so he's trying so hard to kept it together by avoiding eye contact with you “Woo”

You call again but he doesn't open his eyes, and deciding to take the matters on your own hands you gather all the strength you have and roll him over so he's the one laying in the bed this time. Not letting him slip out of you not even for a second.

Surprised by the sudden movement he opens his eyes, he's about to say something but you're quick to cover his mouth with your hand “When I ask you to look at me, you look at me, understood?” You ask, not breaking your rhythm and moving up and down his dick at a steady speed. This new position allows him to be even deeper inside you, so all he can do to answer your questions is nod. “Good boy”

His eyes sparkle with excitement at the pet-name. If there's something you have learned over the past few months of dating them is that their personalities switch when they're in bed. San is sweet and calm in public, but in bed he's thirsty and dominant. Wooyoung may be bossy and headstrong on his daily life, but in bed he's all the opposite.

Like now for example, he was enjoying you riding him, not even complaining when you made him keep his hands to himself while you tried to get yourself off. You keep on rubbing your clit enjoying the view of him pulling the sheets with his hands, biting his lips and moaning your name, unaware of your surroundings the closer you get to the sweet release till San appears in front of you.

“Wow you look really pretty like this baby” He says while softly caressing Wooyoung's right cheek “You like when our princess fucks herself on your pretty cock, don't you?” Wooyoung, who has kept his eyes wide open for the last minutes, sees San upside down “Open your mouth, let me try something”

San doesn't need to tell him twice, he's eager to do so. One moment you can see his mouth wide open, the next one San is sliding his cock right into it.

The new position allows San to be so close enough to your face, so you waste no time crushing your mouths together. He's more than happy to swallow your moans.

Wooyoung wishes he had set up a camera for this. It's a sight to see. His girlfriend riding him like there's no tomorrow, and his boyfriend pushing his cock down his throat like his life depended in it. Oh how did I get so lucky. If he was close then, now he's mere seconds away from breaking down. He knows he's done when he feels a hand on each nipple. He could tell each hand belong to a different person, and he's almost sure he hears you call him such a pretty boy, but he has no time to say anything as his vision becomes blurry and he starts whimpering so much that San removes his cock from his boyfriend’s mouth, all so he can finally let go inside of you.

But before completely letting go, he's quick to sit and pull you closer, making hold yourself on his shoulders while he takes claim of you clit, he may love cumming inside of you but he loves it more when you do it together. A few more seconds and you're both screaming as the release hits you like a wave, San doesn't know if it's something in the air or the fact that these walls are thicker but he has never heard either of you moan that loud before. He was more than ready to hear you both like that again.

masterlist [prev — next]

a/n: hey! so i don't usually write smut, so im hoping this isn't too bad, I wanted to give a try here (and the chapter ended up being longer than I expected lol), hope you all like it!!!

taglist: @perfectlysane24 @baguette-atiny @w0oyoung @noonaishere @wooyeouu @nycol-ie @yxnkigi @ohmy-fandoms @90s-belladonna @arminandjeanandannieandhange @jeongcats @elliotsbeigeguitar @paralumanniluna @shainingu @super-btstrash-posts @r000l @yeosangsbiceps @rosefvkk @tenebrisirae @whosayeonjunie @enclosureorg @blaaiissee @hyvn-jaeee @sai-kida134 @steponmesannie @dear-dreamie @teti-menchon0604 @gxlden-bxbyy @kpopwh0r3 @kpopnightingale

unable to tag* @m0chimix @utopiakys @hwasatiny

[homosexuality-at-its-finest]

Hey, could you by any chance make a Deadpool x male reader fluff, there is like no Deadpool x male reader stories and I need more to cure my depression, so could you pls Make one, pls and thx?

A/N: Thanks for the request my dude! I hope you like it! It was inspired by the Tin Tok's of the girl calling her boyfriend weird names and that's definitely wades energy.

Plot: Requested

Pairing: Deadpool x Male reader

Y/n: Your name

Warnings: cussing, Deadpool is Deadpool, mentions of murder and blood, fluff, idea came from a Tik Tok, cursing

Word count: 610

If you had mentioned Wade finding a new partner after Vanessa died, he probably would’ve killed you, but here he was a few years later curled up in bed with his adorable boyfriend. When he first met Y/n there was an immediate attraction to him, but he refused to allow himself to get attached, in fear the boy would die too. Of course, the little asshole was stubborn and ended up worming his way into the mercenary’s heart.

Wade didn’t know how attached he was to Y/n until he showed up on his doorstep, bleeding from a stab wound and an adorable pout on his lips. “I got stabbed.” It was simple and rather obvious, but God Wade almost had a heart attack. “I killed the bastard though!” You gave him this toothy grin and he couldn’t bring himself to be mad at you. He patched you up and after that he was basically attached at your hip. He had killed a number of people for you, not wanting his baby boy to get hurt again.

He actually confessed his feelings for you after he had disemboweled someone, still covered in their blood and guts, but the grin you gave him had his knees weak. Wade had ripped his mask off and before you could say anything his lips were on yours, possessive and vicious as he held onto you.

Skip forward a couple of months and here he was, arms wrapped around your waist as you slept soundly, cheek pressed against his chest. He couldn’t help but admire you as you slept, his baby boys face was relaxed, your usual furrowed eyebrows were smoothed out, making you look even more gorgeous. A smile spread across his lips when Y/n began to wake, his fingers gently raking over his scalp.

“Good morning my rotten banana.” He breathed out, holding back a grin as you looked up at his, eyes narrowed and a confused look on your face. “The fuck did you just call me?” Wade leaned down, pecking your lips. “My rotten banana.” He replied, causing you to let out a defeated sigh. “Seriously the weird nick names again?” Your voice sounded almost pained, making the grin he was failing to conceal widen. “You know you love it.”

You pulled away from him, making him pout. “I despise it.” You replied in a bored tone, giving your boyfriend a look before slipping out of the bed. “I need coffee before I can deal with your shit.” Wade only winked in return, leaning against the pillows as he watched you leave the room. God, he hated to see you leave but loved to watch you go.

Wade laid in bed for a few moments, before deciding to go bother Y/n once more. The mercenary walked into the kitchen, arms wrapping around your waist. “What do you wanna do today, my shriveled papaya?” Before wade could get another word out, an elbow harshly shoved into his ribs, causing him to let out a wheeze.

“Wade Winston Wilson I swear to God if you call me one more weird name, I’m gonna castrate you.” You looked up at him, an annoyed but loving look on your face. “You love me to much my little Lochness monster.” The mercenary let out a terrified screech, fleeing from his boyfriend as you grabbed a knife from the counter, following behind your boyfriend as you laughed loudly. Jesus Wade sometimes forgot how scary you could be.

[uraveragelonelysapphic]

Another Love

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!reader

Summary: You meet Wanda at a grief group, as she’s struggling to heal after Vision’s death. Will you help her heal? Will your friendship grow into something more?

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: grief

Theme: Angst, Fluff

A/N: I have been working on this one all day, and I think it’s alright! It’s my first oneshot on this account, so please go easy on me! I hope you enjoy!

(Shoutout to @theloveclub-18 for the idea! I super appreciate it!)

“Thank you all for being so open this evening. I hope to see you all next week. Let the healing continue.”

As various people mumbled back “let the healing continue,” Wanda fought the urge to roll her eyes.

It had been six months since Vision’s death, and four months since she had started attending a grief group recommended by Bucky. She had tried to insist to him that it was useless but he begged her to try it out. Now, here she was, four months later, still feeling as broken as she had the day she watched the love of her life be killed. Twice. One might ask why she continued to attend the sessions weekly when she felt she hadn’t made any progress. Why had she spent 16 of her Wednesday nights at a grief group when she felt it was pointless? The answer is simple: the food.

The session always had a table full of freshly baked goods from Sugar, Butter, Flour, a bakery just down the road from the community center holding the sessions. Every week, Wanda would sit through listening to people talk about their heartbreak, and, when pushed to confront her own trauma, reluctantly share just enough to satisfy the facilitator. And she did it all just to have a few moments of sheer joy, letting whatever delicious creation the bakery had provided that week wash over her taste buds and temporarily take her away from this cruel world that had ripped her love from her.

Wanda grabbed her purse and made a beeline for the table full of goodies. She had been running late today, so she didn’t get a chance to grab anything before the session, leaving her options limited. There was only one cookie left, but as she reached for it, her hand brushed against someone else’s, causing her to pull her hand back quickly.

“I’m sorry-”

“No it’s fine, I shouldn’t have-”

“Please it’s all yours-”

You cleared your throat and shot her a sheepish smile before extending your hand to her.

“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”

Wanda looks at your hand skeptically and you awkwardly retract it when you realize she won’t be shaking it.

“I’m Wanda,” she says hesitantly, her eyes flashing to the cookie, and then the exit.

You tried again. “So you like the cookies here too?”

She meets your Y/E/C eyes impatiently before sighing.

“Yeah, I’ll just grab one next week, though, I really gotta go,” she says, starting towards the exit.

You watch her leave, intrigued by the girl, before you snap back to reality.

*****************************************************************************************************

Wanda is almost to her car when she hears footsteps behind her and quickly turns around, her eyes glowing red.

You stare at her, wide-eyed, the remaining cookie in your hand.

“Shit, Wanda, I’m sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to give you this.”

Wanda sighs, her eyes returning to their normal color. She pinches the bridge of her nose. Remorse fills her face. Her grief had caused her to be angrier than usual, leading to her powers flaring up accidentally. And now she had frightened this woman who was just trying to give her a damn cookie.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have reacted like that. Thank you for the cookie. I promise I’m not always scary I just, I-”

You stopped her. “Hey, it’s fine. If I heard someone running at me in a parking lot in the middle of the night, I would be on edge too. I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that. Plus, you’re...well...here,” you paused, gesturing to the community center the two of you had just come from, before continuing, “so I think it’s safe to assume you aren’t having the best time. I get it. If there’s any way I can help, please let me know.”

Wanda was at a loss for words. She had nearly struck you with her powers and here you were, looking at her with a gentle smile and no fear on your face whatsoever.

After a few minutes of silence, you awkwardly placed the napkin-wrapped cookie on the hood of her car, before stepping back and smiling at her yet again.

“I’ll see you next week, Wanda. Have a good night,” you say, waving at her before you walk out of the parking lot and down the block.

*****************************************************************************************************

Only, you didn’t see her in Group the following week.

After leaving the community center, you were about to head down the block when you noticed her car in the parking lot, with her in it. You gently approached her car, tapping on the window quietly in an attempt to not startle her.

She looked up at you with puffy, red-rimmed eyes, before rolling down her window.

“May I help you?”

Her tone was much harsher than she intended, and she winced at it, but you merely smiled at her, unaffected, before digging through your bag and pulling out a tupperware container of chocolate chip cookies.

“They had leftovers tonight, you want some?”

And you had shocked Wanda yet again.

“Sure.”

You reached forward to hand the cookies to her through the window when Wanda decided to take a leap of faith.

“You can come sit in here and share them with me, I wouldn’t mind some company,” She says quietly before adding, “I’ll warn you, though, I’m a bit of a trainwreck right now.”

You laughed softly before opening the door to the passenger side of her car and sliding in. You looked at her with soft eyes.

“Trainwrecks unite.”

*****************************************************************************************************

Wanda told you everything that night. She told you about Vision, about her love for him, and his for her. About how he was the first since her brother died to look at her like a person, and not a monster. She told you all about the sleepless nights, the nightmares, the desperate need for it to end.

And you listened. You watched her intently the whole time. You held her hand comfortingly as her body wracked with sobs. You were there. And that night, you didn’t know why, but you made a promise to always be there for the beautiful redhead with the lost hope.

That night was the first time since Vision’s death that Wanda slept soundly through the night. No nightmares. No suffering.

It had been three months since that night. Since then, it became a habit for the two of you to spend Wednesday nights following group sessions in her car, chatting about anything and everything. And Wanda had to admit, she was okay. For the first time since Vision’s death, she didn’t wish she could join him. She didn’t want to stay isolated in her room. She wanted to live. She wanted to show people the kindness you’d shown her. She woke every Wednesday with a smile, and you on her mind.

*****************************************************************************************************

This Wednesday, you appeared nervous as you got into the passenger side of Wanda’s car.

Wanda noticed this right off the bat.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You start fidgeting with your fingers and look down at your lap as you respond. 

“Yeah, I just...I have to tell you something. Promise you won’t get mad.”

Wanda looks at you with a gentle smile.

“Y/N, you’re my best friend, I could never get mad at you. What is it?”

You took a deep breath and looked up at Wanda, before asking the question.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Wanda’s eyes widened and she froze.

You tried to dig yourself out of the hole.

“Nevermind, forget I said anything, I never should’ve-”

“No.” Wanda said quietly.

“What?”

“No. I can’t. God, I could never love you.”

You felt your heart shatter in your chest.

Wanda quickly realized the weight of her words, and tried to fix them, “Y/N, no, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I-”

“It’s fine, Wanda. I have to go.”

With that, you scrambled out of the car and walked out of the parking lot and down the block, with tears streaming down your face, and your heart broken.

*****************************************************************************************************

Wanda couldn’t believe she had said that. The truth is, she didn’t know if she had room in her heart for more than one love. She had loved Vision. He was everything to her. Could she also love you?

For the rest of the week, Wanda was beyond conflicted. She knew she had to apologize to you, but she didn’t want to do so until she had sorted out her own feelings. You deserved a solid answer.

It was Tuesday night. She would see you again tomorrow. And she still didn’t know. She tossed and turned that night for hours before she finally fell asleep, you and Vision occupying her mind, per usual.

She was in a field of flowers. It was beautiful. She thought about how she might like to show it to you. And then she heard someone. Someone she thought she would never hear from or see again.

“Wanda, darling.”

“Vision?” She spun around, and there he was, smiling at her.

“It’s okay, you know,” He said. Wanda was confused. He continued, “The feelings that you’re feeling. For her. It’s okay.”

She laughed, “You always did know me better than I knew myself.”

Vision smiled softly at her.

“Vision, I love you. I love you so much. I can’t let you go.”

“Wanda, no one is asking you to. You can move on without letting my memory slip away from you.”

Wanda nods softly, thinking intently about what he said.

“Tell me about her,” he encourages.

Wanda smiles.

“She’s so gentle. And so stubborn. I almost hurt her when we first met but she didn’t cower. She wasn’t afraid. She didn’t look at me like a monster. She made me laugh for the first time since you...you know. She fidgets with her fingers when she’s nervous. She does this adorable head tilt when she’s listening intently. She’s patient. She’s kind. She’s...she’s everything,” Wanda realizes, awestruck.

Vision approaches her.

“You love her.”

She looks at him, concerned. “Is that okay?”

He merely smiles. “Darling, of course it’s okay. She sounds wonderful. You deserve her. You deserve love, even if it isn’t with me. You deserve happiness.”

Wanda grabs his hands. “Thank you, Vision. For your love. I think it will always be a part of me. But I’m ready to move on. I love her. I’m ready.”

Vision squeezes her hands gently. “That you are, Wanda. I’ll always love you. Now go. Go to her.”

*****************************************************************************************************

Wanda shot up, breathing deeply. This time, she only had one person on her mind: you. “I love her,” she whispers softly to herself. She smiles, but it quickly fades when she remembers the words she said to you last week. She had to make this right.

*****************************************************************************************************

She arrived at Group early, noticing with a frown that the snack table was empty. She knew she would need some baked goods to give her the courage to approach you, so she approached the facilitator, Mindy, and cleared her throat to get Mindy’s attention.

“Um, hello, ma’am, I was just wondering where the goodies are? They’re usually here by now,” she said.

Mindy smiled at the girl. “I’m sorry, dear, but there won’t be any baked goods today. Y/N called me earlier, and told me she wouldn’t be able to make it.”

“Y/N? What does she have to do with-” Wanda pauses. Holy shit. You were the owner of Sugar, Butter, Flour. You had been the one making the goodies that fueled her to keep attending the group. You had been the provider of her temporary escape from the world. You did that. It truly was always you. She had to find you.

“Are you alright, dear?” Mindy asked.

Wanda shook her head. “No, there’s something I need to do. Thank you for your help, ma’am.” And with that, she sprinted out the door, got into her car, and pulled out of the parking lot.

*****************************************************************************************************

Wanda didn’t know where she was going. She just knew she had to find you. And then it started raining. No, not just raining. Pouring. This made it incredibly hard for Wanda to see where she was going, but she was determined.

As she drove, she realized something. She had told you everything about herself. You had listened, asked questions. But she never once asked about you. Hell, she didn’t even know you baked for a living until 15 minutes ago. She didn’t even know why you attended the grief group.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t realize she had driven all the way to the park at the edge of town, until she saw you. You were sitting on a bench, in the pouring rain, sobbing and shaking. Her heart broke at the sight. She quietly got out of her car.

“Y/N?” She called your name softly, approaching you with caution.

Your head snapped up.

“Wanda?”

She smiled weakly at you, and suddenly your eyes filled with more tears as you began to shake again.

“I tried to go to Group and act like everything was normal, I really tried, Wanda, but I just couldn’t, I’m sorry, I’m so-”

Wanda rushed over to you, engulfing you in a hug, holding you tightly as you sobbed.

“It’s okay, malyshka, it’s alright. You didn’t do anything wrong. Breathe, sweet girl. I’m here. I’m right here, I promise.”

She continued to hold you and speak comforting words to you for what felt like hours, until your sobs eventually died down, and you pulled away, sniffling. You looked up at the sky as if just remembering it was pouring, before standing up from the bench.

“Sorry about that. We should probably go inside, it’s pouring, and I don’t want you to-”

“I love you,” Wanda blurted out, leaving you speechless. She stood up and took your hands, mentally breathing a sigh of relief when you don't pull away. “I’m in love with you. I’m so sorry for not admitting it to myself, or you, sooner. Me saying that I could never love you? That was the grief speaking. I shouldn’t have let it control me like that. And I’m done. I’m done letting it control me. The truth is, anyone would be lucky to love you. And I do. I love you. I love your smile, I love your kind heart. I love your baked treats, which, by the way, I just learned were yours about an hour ago,” She says, and you let out a wet laugh. “I shouldn’t have said those things,” She continued, “It was wrong. I’m in love with you. And I understand if you don’t want to give me a second chance, because-”

You cut her off by smashing your lips against hers, and without hesitation, she kissed back, her arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. The two of you only pulled away when you let out a violent shiver because of the rain. She looked at you concerned, but you merely laughed, pulling her in for another kiss.

*****************************************************************************************************

“Detka, I’m home!” Wanda called out, wondering where you were. Her questions were answered when a delicious smell hit her. She walked into the kitchen and smiled adoringly at you. You were moving around the kitchen, flour in your hair, and batter all over your clothes, completely in your own little world.

“Detka,” Wanda tries again, and you spin around, holding a spatula out in front of you as a form of defense.

“Shit, Wanda, sorry, you scared me!” You said, breathing a sigh of relief.

“My how the tables have turned,” she says teasingly, before removing the spatula from your hand and licking it.

“Wanda,” you pouted, “I was using that! Now I have to wash it!”

Wanda kissed the pout off of your face, before smiling at you triumphantly at doing so.

“Or, you could stop baking for the night and come cuddle with me and watch Bewitched,” she suggested, giving you those adorable puppy dog eyes.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “You know I can’t resist that face. Okay. Give me 10 minutes to get showered and then I’ll join you on the couch.”

“I’ll be counting!” She called as you made your way to the bathroom.

It had been 5 years since that night in the rain, and as she sat down on the couch, gazing down at the wedding band that adorned her left hand, she still couldn’t believe how she had gotten so lucky to find another love. You were beautiful, kind, and patient, and she loved you with every ounce of her heart.

“What are you thinking about, pretty girl?” You asked with a smile, before settling down next to her on the couch and curling into her side.

“You. It’s always you,” she replied, kissing your temple.

You smile lovingly at her. “I love you, Wanda.”

“And I love you, beautiful girl.”

And as the two of you sat there, snuggled up, and watched Bewitched, both of you were so grateful that Wanda had made room for another love.

[milolov3nutella]

My cod zombie character's past au

Yes I feel like making comics about it too but never got the time. Anyways here are some. If I got some things wrong please tell me. Its gonna be long.

Edward Richtofen

Edward Richtofen live in a rich household. He lost his mother early in his live and was neglected by his father who put work first. Before his mother's death, his parents arrange an early marriage for him with a girl from another rich family. He spend most of his time his sister, Sam Richtofen.

At the mid 20(ish), he pass his medical (or something like that, i dunno they said hes a doctor) but also married Angel Maxis, the women his parents arranged for him who coincidencely is one of his colleague's sister, Dr Lugwid Maxis. Edward and Angel never bothered to even look at each other, Edward thinks she is bossy, stubborn and replusive while Angel thinks he is very childish and weird. Edward spends more time with Dr Maxis cuz you know why. His wife is the reason for his masochistic and sadistic behaviour, abusing him to a pulp almost everyday just for making her mad.

After less then a decade, he manage to fulfil one of his promises to his parents, a heir. His son, Kruger Maxis-Richtofen. He loves his son dearly and gave him all the attention he can cause he doesn't want Kruger to live the childhood he grew up with and since his mother doesn't bother him much either.

He lets Kruger play around with Samantha and Eddie all the time. Luckily, Sam (his sister) is still around to look after them until his mysterious dissappeared and left her belonging to him and her husband.

During the mid of ww2, group 935 tested the element 115, which resulted in a zombie outbreak because they failed to contain them. He managed to escaped the Laboratory with Dr Maxis, but Dr Maxis was severely wounded, he had to let him go. To stop the zombie, he manage to free 3 test subjects. (U can guess what happened)

Thomas "Tank" Dempsey

Thomas Dempsey grew up in a suburb American home, for 5 years until an explosion wiped his house and killed both his parents. Although the explosion was considered an accident, he lived in guilt thinking he was the one who caused it. He stayed in the orphanage until he's 18. He always wanted to join the US marines. He succeed and felt better with good friends and team members.

During one of his breaks (prob 20s), he met his girlfriend, Lydia in a bar. They were happy together for at least a decade. But when he pop out the question (during the 30s), she rejected his proposal and told him that she wanted to break up long ago. They didn't speak for months until Lydia came to his front door and wanted to say her last goodbye. She gave him a gift that he never thought he needed. There came his daughter, Michella Dempsey. Unlike other single parents, he taught her how to use weaponry at a young age, so she could defend herself in school. (I dunno like prison) He even left the army to take care of her. (And get a normal job)

He place his daughter in her Aunts house so he could reenlist in the army. At first he was deployed in Asia to fight against the Japanese, but since he prove he's a one man army, they send the to Europe to fight. Which is where he is comatose to be the test subject for group 935.

Nikolai Belinski

Nikolai Belinski grew up in working in a family circus, he enjoys it because of his older brother, Anatoly. He had 4 siblings and he is the the middle, Anatoly, Katiya, Dimitri and Veronika.

Although having good siblings, his parents isn't. His father is the owner of the family circus. He's drunk and always blaming Anatoly for his miserable life. He physically attacks the oldest while drunk. As for his mother, she doesn't improve the atmosphere either. She taunts them and never show a care for them.

Whats makes Nikolai hates his parents is when Anatoly died after a stunt accident. His parents didn't even attend the funeral his siblings made. His father then started attacking Katiya. And since Nikolai is the next man of the house, he tried to make the best out of the situation, earning the money by joining the military.

From his career as a soldier, he gave all the money to support his family. He's a deadly sniper and hitman which made him a high salary.

Nikolai even sustained a stable family after, with his wife who works as a news reporter and a daughter. But after his wife was killed in the war and his daughter unexpected disappearance, he started drinking. Fortunately, he still remain a good soldier but was then taken to be a test subject after failing to defend a siege.

Takeo Masaki

Takeo Masaki, like Edward, grew up in a rich household. He with his twin sister, Taeko is homeschool by their mother. Although twins, they have different beliefs, where Takeo is a patriot while Taeko is rebellious. Still they get along with another friend of them, Fu Xiu.

The family business is a blacksmith business (making weapons) with another family business in China. This is where they met Fu Xiu, they were inseparable as children, The twins would follow their parents on business trips just to see him. But as they grew older, Takeo's relationship with them became sour as Taeko started siding with Fu Xiu to protect the victims.

Takeo is forced into a life of militarism. Trained and taught from young, he believed that a samurai should lay his life for the emperor. He immediately went up the ranks even after joining.

While fighting, he got kidnapped by a group. And as ge couldn't make out the faces of his captors, he heard a female talking: "don't worry, we just need a little funding from his family." Before being put to sleep.

FINALLY, IT TOOK ME FOREVER! if you manage to read it then thank u. This might be matured cuz I dunno. Most characters that seen random, its my ocs so that's why it's random.

[ryoryeonggu]

This post probably makes no sense and no one cares about it, but I'll do it anyway.

For a while, I've been OBSESSED with both MDZS/The Untamed and The Marauders. So naturally, I'd love to imagine what if MDSZ characters were adapted in The Marauders universe (but not all the characters would stay the same who they were in the book/series because I believe people would change if their lives were different).

Wei Wuxian as James Potter. It's obvious. They are both like the sun and the whole universe centers around them. They are both so brave, caring, loyal to their friends/family and have a strong belief in justice, what's right and wrong. Freaking golden retrievers. King of simping and obviousness. Dumbasses. Absolutely chaotic and mischief. Protective. Died young. The way WWX bullied JZX reminded me so much of James bullied the hell out of Snape because "I'm sooooo done with your nose-high attitude" and "you don't deserve the girl I care about" (Jiang Yanli / Lily).

Jin Guangyao as Sirius Black. This is odd, because their personality seems completely opposite, but hear me out. The entire tragedy of their lives was about their abusive messed up family, the toxic upbringing and discovering who they wanted to be. While Sirius despised his family with every inch in his body and rebelled against them, JGY desperately craved for his family's approval and recognition that caused him to make mistakes after mistakes and turned him into a horrible person. But despite how hard they try to prove, the world would always judge and easily having prejudice against them for where they came from - Sirius for being a Black and JGY for being a prostitute's son. But what's missing here, JGY never had a "James", never had a soulmate who truly saw him, believed in him and caught him when he fell. So what if he did? I can totally picture him fitting the rebellious vibes of Wei Wuxian, along with being a petty dramatic bitch and still thoughtful and gentle (while totally being capable of murdering people who annoy him). And most importantly, SHORT lol. Big QUEER/GAY energy. His charm and his beauty are his two biggest qualities. Having so much potential and could do impossible things if the world let them shine.

Xue Yang as Remus Lupin. Another interesting contrary but completely fitting in. As people have different ideas about the person Remus was when he was young, but in my head Remus would totally be the person XY grows into if he'd had a little support system and wasn't thrown into the street when he was a child. Meanwhile, the pure animal-instinct cruelty of Xue Yang reminded me of Remus's wolf side, how Remus would've ended up if he’d unleashed his "madness within". Casting it aside, despite his murderous tendency, you couldn't deny that XY is the most interesting character in MDZS, as well as Remus is. Remus is adored by most people in the fandom, while XY, as much as a lot of people hated him and wanted him dead, they could help but feeling intrigued by him. They just had that charm. Moreover, they also had a lot similarities: sarcastic, smartass genius, wearing their own insecurities and flaws as an armor, highly intolerance of pain and having a lot of scars, stubborn af, craving for sweets and could only open himself and be devoted to specific people he cared about/cared about/being nice to him.

(And JGY is the only person in the world who XY never hurt even after JGY tried to kill him and left him for dead, they are the only person who could see and truly accept one another - I ship both Wolfstar and XueYao btw)

Nie Huaisang as Peter Pettigrew. It's obvious as well, they both screamed the "I looked like a fool but actually could stab you in the back and ended your whole career" energy. Coward energy. Underestimated and left out. Basically the whole dynamic between JGY-NHS and Sirius-Peter was mostly a pattern: Best friends once, then going down to betray and kill each other's family (James and NMJ). Besides, James-Peter and WWX-NHS were once the partners-in-crime duos before the war came and ruined them.