All for you | Carl Gallagher
pairing: Carl Gallagher x female!reader
show: Shameless
warnings: angst, fluff, smut (the reader and Carl are 18 years old in this ff)
summary: Carl is challenged that he can get your money, if he makes you fall in love with him. He loves the challenge until he loves something else more...
authors note: sorry for so many pov switched, I didnt notice it, when I first wrote this ff. Also I haven't had the chance to watch all the seasons yet, but I still hope that Carl's character is somewhat accurate :))
Carl's pov
"Frank, goddamit youre no help! Why are you even lying around here - oh forget it, I don't want to hear it." Fiona's voice echoes in the room, while the entire Gallagher household is present.
The everyday discussion has been going on for too many minutes in which I could have done something better. The damn question “How do we get enough money?”
Lip at college, Ian with his gangster boyfriend, my shitty sister with her kid and then Liam. This family is screwed. No wonder with a father like Frank.
As the argument continues to escalate, I have the misfortune of sitting right next to him.
"You care to share some money, son?" Of course, my attempts to ignore him are unsuccessful.
"The drug trade doesn't always work out so well, but the weapon thing was something. You could give one to your good old dad, you know what the neighborhood is like." I run my hands through my hair in frustration, shaking my head.
"Just get one or two girls pregnant at school, then all of our problems are solved. But she has to be rich. After all, you want to get your hard work paid." Why the hell am I still here?
"You used to be more enthusiastic about my ideas. If you don't want to do play daddy, then use your charm. When I was your age, my cock was enough and the girls were happy."
"Be fucking quiet, no one wants to hear about your pathetic youth." It's no use, he keeps talking.
"I'm only saying, If you make a rich girl fall in love with you, then you can get money to do something nice for your family."
As I get up and walk away from him I take a breath, the tension caused by this idiot sucks.
Still, his words got me thinking. Maybe there's a new girl who would be perfect for this job...
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Your pov
When I moved here, I wasn't sure what to expect. New school, maybe mean classmates and bad cafeteria food. That I might be able to join a group and make friends, people who laugh with me in class or go to the cinema together on weekends.
I was prepared to get lost in the hallways a few times, perhaps to be peppered with embarrassing questions by the teachers. I had even prepared myself for being called a nerd again and therefore spending my lunch breaks alone.
Then things turned out differently. I met two girls who, although they scared me at first with their need to gossip all the time, are good people at heart.
They studied with me (meaning they told me the newest gossip and braided my hair while I did our homework), showed me the city and its pitfalls. I felt comfortable, prepared and confident for what awaited me here.
Oh lord, was I wrong.
On a Thursday in the middle of the week I met a boy who messed everything up. Literally.
I met him when he was running through the halls twenty minutes late, but stupidly didn't pay attention to me, who was about to cross his path. Let's put it this way, it ended with my books on the floor, my jacket hanging off my shoulder, and his hair being a huge mess.
When he looked at me, I expected to hear something like "sorry" or "I'll help you."
You want to know what he said?
"Cute top. Let me know if you need help taking it off."
Then he got up casually and walked into the classroom across the hallway, a grin on his face as if he had won the Bachelor title.
After this encounter two things became very clear to me. 1. Look both ways when crossing the halls and 2. Stop daydreaming about this boy, even if he has beautiful blue eyes.
The first thing worked better than the second.
After a few descriptions, which actually only consisted of "incredibly impudent and incredibly good-looking", it was explained to me who I was dealing with.
Carl Gallagher. A boy who has lived here since he was born, someone who is rumoured to be more dangerous than the Italian Mafia.
Even though I thought that was exaggerated, I quickly realized that I should stay away from him and that he meant trouble.
Aside from the fact that I wasn't going to be in the situation of talking to him again anyway, my eyes couldn't stop themselves from looking at him.
There was something that defined him, something that made me want to watch a grin creep across his face when he made an inappropriate joke, how he would push his blonde hair back and his eyes would shine mischievously, as if he had already planned the next bank robbery.
I wasn't the only one who found his charisma attractive tho, of course not when he looked like one of God's angels, but he never really seemed interested in other girls. At least not with any serious intent, you might hear him flirting or making comments about his free bed, but you would never saw him in a relationship.
He never held hands or kissed anyone, had a real smile on his face or said sweet things, he was just Carl.
Suggestive, hot-tempered and like a flag that proclaimed: Stay away from me, because you will lose this fight.
I also felt that if I continued to watch him, I would lose the battle for platonic feelings towards him too.
"Please don't tell me you're looking at our school bad boy again. You better be careful, he might want to sell you a gun." Kenzie's voice makes me sigh.
"These are just rumors. Besides, it's not my fault, he's just -" Her hand on my shoulder interrupts me.
"We know, you have heart eyes every time you talk about him. There are so many great guys in this world, I'm not saying at this school, but you choose this one?" Her look says more than a thousand words as she looks over at Carl, who is pushing his way trough the crowd.
"I'm not in love, just curious. Those are two different things, okay?" Her eyebrows raise.
"You mean, curious how his lips would feel on yours?" Her laughter at my expression is lost in the sounds of the cafeteria.
"Very funny." I murmur to her, food forgotten on my plate. When the school bell rings, I stand up and pick up my backpack.
"My class is canceled now, but I'm going to the library. Will you meet me later?" As I walk backwards I see her thumbs up and the hearts she makes in Carl's direction. My reaction is two quick middle fingers.
As I walk out of the school building, I check my phone and tie my hair into a braid. The library is a few blocks away and the cool air makes me shiver.
When I get there and wave to the boy at the entrance, I turn to my favorite department. Call it cliche, but I love romance books. I mean, I don't know what it feels like to love someone with all my heart, but that doesn't mean I don't love reading about it.
The books I actually need are a few rows away. History, literature, everything I am assigned to get for school.
As I stroke over a few tapes and finally pull out a book to read the first few pages, I hear a noise next to me that makes me look up. After all, the library is usually a pretty quiet place.
As I look into the familiar blue eyes, I feel my cheeks turn red.
I have to stop myself from staring.
"Always a book in your hand, I see." Oh his voice hasn't changed. I try to shrug casually as I answer, but I'm not sure if it actually works.
"Aren't you going to be late for class again?" At my sarcasm he smiles, he takes a step in my direction which weakens my control over my voice.
"I thought I would learn something somewhere else too." These coded words make me swallow.
"So, you're here often?" I almost think he's not answering me, but maybe I'm just not concentrating, because I'm paying too much attention to every mole on his face.
"Actually, I didn't even know this shitty town had a library." His words make me laugh, but several requests to be quiet around us, make me whisper in response.
"Then why are you here?" I think my breathing stops as his hand brushes my fingers that are still holding the book.
"You're here." I feel my heart beating nervously faster, I probably look pretty confused and when I notice his grin, something flutters in my chest.
"No interest in books, huh?" Can my answer actually be any lamer?
"Dont worry, I have a newfound interest in you."
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Your pov
If someone had told me a few weeks ago that I would become friends with Carl Gallagher, I would have found the idea absolutely crazy. To be honest, I still find the situation insane, but damn my cheeks still turn just as red when he's with me as they did the first time.
It turns out that he really has no interest in books, even though he visited me at the library almost every day since we met in the romance department.
I've never met anyone like him, funny and couragous without any reserve, always looking for trouble, acting self-confident. But also sweet.
He's like a current that pulls you along, like a wind that blows so hard that you fly with it. He feels like freedom and it is wonderful.
He makes me laugh, he carries my books, plays with my hair, walks home with me. In such a short time I feel like he didn't knock on the doors to my heart, instead he made a home there.
Maybe this is what it feels like to fall in love.
It's not a gentle announcement, more of a realization that makes you incredibly desperate and happy at the same time.
But with him I actually just feel happy.
"Ready, sunshine?" As soon as I come out of the classroom, he comes towards me and takes my bag from me. My heart jumps at his gesture, which feels like winning the Olympics.
"You're crazy, where do you even want to go?" He has something planned but won't tell me. When he puts his arm around my shoulder and I lean against him, I get a few sideways glances from our classmates.
Carl ignores everyone like always, it's crazy but the way he's so confident is pretty attractive to me.
"Does the guy in your cheesy books also tell you where they go on dates? I bet not, so just wait."
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"It feels like you're kidnapping me."
I feel his smile on my back and have to giggle quietly at his response.
"Mh, I plan to do that. But only for a few hours, otherwise my head will roll tomorrow. Your father takes your curfew pretty seriously."
I feel his hands on my hips, guiding me forward, hear the birds chirping around us, but can't figure out where we're going.
"Just a few more steps, baby. Then you'll see." As he promised, it is only a few meters away and when I see a small, calm lake, my mouth falls open in surprise.
"Carl, oh my God! It's wonderful here, thank you so much." I turn around in his grip and look at him, his smile reflects the love that I feel.
"Yeah? How much do you like it?" As his eyes focus on my lips, I feel a tingling feeling in my stomach. Slowly, my fingers stroke his chest and I see him swallow, even though he tries to hide it.
"I think it's incredibly beautiful here, I love it. And...I really like you." I shyly lower my gaze, my words are met with an unknown silence that makes me anxious after a few seconds. But when I look up at him again, he pushes a strand of my hair out of my face.
"To me, you are much more beautiful than this sight. I like you too and I thought that was pretty obvious." I smile broadly, butterflies fly around in my stomach and as the sun illuminates his face, I feel incredibly happy.
"You're so nice to me, I don't know how I deserve this." An expression crosses his face, but when I blink he smiles at me again.
"After all, you are the first person who explained the topics for the history exam to me, without giving up." My hand cups his cheek.
"I wouldn't give you up, you've become too important to me." As I stand on my tiptoes, our lips brush, his hand is on my back and pushes me closer to him.
"You are an angel." With his words we kiss and everything else around us blurs, only he remains. Everything is unimportant except him, standing in front of me, so handsome, that it is difficult not to look at him.
"Come on, let's go for a swim." As he pulls me towards the lake, you can hear our loud laughter in the air.
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Carl's pov
"When are you going to collect the money? You've been with her for the last three months and nothing has come of it." Frank's annoying voice frustrates me more than anything else.
"I am working on it. Besides, she's actually really caring." When I see the dismissive hand gesture in my direction, I roll my eyes.
"You are completely wrong, son. A person is there for a certain period of time, but money? Money accompanies you throughout your life, especially if you buy beautiful bottles of the best alcohol."
I sink into the sofa, but want to turn away when I feel his hand on my shoulder.
"If you put it off any longer, it will be harder to get out of the situation. Girls your age will start planning to get married, if you stay with them for months."
But when he leaves, I feel conflicted. Can I really do this to her?
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Carl's pov
"Happy birthday!" Her voice makes me jump and, confused, I turn around on the bench to look into her excited eyes.
"Why are you jumping around like that? Are you practicing for cheerleading?" I'm making fun of her, but the smile on her face doesn't fade.
"No, idiot. I'm just really curious to see how you react to your gift." My breath catches for a moment as I take in her words.
"You got me something?" When she leans forward and gives me a kiss on the cheek while pressing the bag into my lap, I start to smile too.
"Open!" Her encouragement breaks me out of my trance and I quickly tear up the paper, looking at the tickets with wide eyes.
"But...these tickets cost a fortune? Did you sell your liver or something?" When I look at her, she smiles back at me.
"I talked to my dad and he agreed that you deserve something special for your birthday. Are you happy?" As I look at the cards, I suddenly feel a pang in my heart. It must be showing on my face, because her happiness is also fading away.
"Do you not like it? I thought it was your favorite team? I can get you something else." When I look at her, I quickly pull her between my legs and kiss her.
"Shh, breathe angel. It's perfect, thank you. And well, your father. It's just a lot of money." Her hands play with the fabric of my shirt.
"You always say that. Do you have problems at home, with money, I mean? I've never been to your place, I don't even know where you live." What should I say to her now?
"It's okay." Her raised eyebrows look at me reproachfully, making me sigh.
"Each of us has to contribute a certain amount of money every month and if I don't sell fucking drugs, it will be tight." Her astonished look makes me pause and I gently stroke her arms.
Before I can say anything else, she kisses me. I look at her in surprise.
"What's that for?" She smiles shyly, looks at the floor for a moment before looking at me again.
"You're just so honest, I admire that. And that you've never asked me for anything, you know. That I lend you some money."
Fuck. Shit. What do I say?
"Yeah, I mean, I don't want to burden you with that-" but she interrupts me again, her concentrated expression makes me curious.
"What's going on in your pretty head?" My hands wander over her sides.
"It's the end of the month, how much are you missing?" I frown in confusion, but when she doesn't let it go, I tell her the amount.
"$240, the rest I earned by helping in the neighborhood." But despite the high sum, she just nods, looks at me again and gives me another kiss.
"Okay, maybe I'll be your sugar mommy." I have to laugh at the absurdity, but the longer she grins at me, the more I think she means it.
"What, are you serious? Thats fucking crazy, how am I supposed to pay you back?" Her eyes look around, but since the classroom is relatively empty during recess, she finds herself between my legs again. She slowly lets her hand wander down my stomach until she squeezes my cock through my clothes and I close my eyes in delight.
"Hmm, maybe you could help me relax between classes." Her eyes sparkle mischievously and I look at her with a grin.
"Anything you want, sugar."
Let's put it this way, the next few weeks the breaks were filled with kissing in the back corner of the classroom, dry humping on the toilet or Carl doing his best to pleasure me with his tongue in the caretaker's room, like now.
"Ahh-, Carl. I'll cum if you keep that up." His head has disappeared under my skirt, his fingers are stroking the bare skin of my thigh and the sinful movements of his tongue are making me see stars.
As he adds a finger and runs it over my folds, slowly until he inserts it, he looks at me again.
"You coming for me? Yeah, be a good girl or do you want to get caught by the old janitor grandpa spreading your legs for me?" As my eyes roll back, he pumps another finger into me, scissoring it thoroughly and hitting that sweet spot inside me.
When I moan loudly, he grins.
"You like that? Just wait until I bury my cock in you and you cant walk straight afterwards, so that everyone will notice." When his finger presses my clitoris, I see white and as I come I try to muffle the sounds with my hand over my mouth.
When I get off my high, I blindly search for my panties. But Carl beats me first.
"Hmm, no. I think I'll keep it as a little souvenir. Maybe you can get it back when you come to my house later." I don't know what surprises me more: that he wants me to run around exposed at school or that I'm invited to his house for the first time.
"Really? I'd like to come." But he interprets my words differently, his fingers stroke my entrance again and I moan and squeeze my eyes shut.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Very well and for a very long time." When the bell rings, he lets go of me and I whimper slightly.
"Carl-" but he interrupts me by pulling back and straightening my skirt.
"I'm sure our agreement was between recess, now it's class time. Come on, I'll make it up to you later."
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Your pov
As we ride the bus toward his home, I take his hand and intertwine our fingers.
"But don't expect a mansion or any of that shit." Ever since we left school, he has been bad-mouthing his hometown every free minute he has.
"Don't worry, I'll only have eyes for you anyway." The statement makes him laugh and he relaxes a little. As we get out and walk a little way along the street, we are watched by a few people.
"Why are so many people staring at us?" When he look at me, I'm obviously confused.
"Not everyone here wears designer clothes that cost several thousand dollars. If you come here more often, they'll call you a princess." Giggling, I slap him on the arm and as we climb the stairs to his house, I look around curiously.
"So this is where you grew up." His shoulders shrug casually, but I see him trying to gauge my reaction.
"Yeah, where in the world could it be nicer?" I laugh at his sarcastic comment and we both smile at each other as we enter the house.
I hear him calling into the house, then a girl with red hair appears, carrying a baby.
"You must be Debbie, the little one is so adorable." When I hold out my hand, she just looks at Carl with her eyebrows still raised.
"What did you do to end up with her? Also my daughter's name is Franny and yes, I know condoms exist." Surprised, I don't know exactly how to answer, so I leave it to Carl.
"My tongue is magic, Debs. Too bad you won't find out yourself anytime soon, Derek has moved away. By the way, Franny seems hungry." I'm unsure of the dynamic between the two of them, as she turns away and walks away, I resist the urge to say goodbye.
"That was...nice." His hand pulling me towards the stairs distracts me.
"She's a real ray of sunshine, come on. The others aren't back yet, so you can be as loud as you want this time."
When we get upstairs, he leads me into his room and I look at the magazines, posters and little things scattered everywhere.
"Cleaning and you are definitely not friends, huh?" I laugh at my joke, but Carl has other plans than letting me inspect his room.
He puts his hands on my hips and pushes me against the closed door, my breath catches as his eyes find mine.
"Do you want to keep playing housemaid? Then put on a damn maid costume, otherwise keep your eyes on me." At his stern voice, I press my thighs together and, grinning, I drag my fingers across his chest once again.
"Would you like that? Me on the floor, my ass in the air, and no underwear? Oh wait, what a coincidence that I'm not wearing any now either." His eyebrows raise, I see his eyes darken with lust.
"Let's save this little fantasy for another time, right now I just want to see you on my cock." Smiling, I lean towards him and start kissing him. I loosen the belt I bought him and pull him closer to me by his waistband.
"I think I did well today. After all, I didn't complain about getting through the school day without underwear. Do I get my reward now?" Grinning, he takes off my top and looks at my lace bra.
"Everything you want." He drops to his knees in front of me and kisses his way along my thighs, lifts my skirt and presses a kiss to my folds. Slowly he moves his tongue higher and kisses my stomach, I lean my head against the door.
"Does that feel good?" I just nod, burying my hand in his hair as he puts his mouth on me again.
"Ahh- Carl, I want you now." His fingers stretch me, the wetness running down my legs, making me tremble.
"You got me, sweetheart. What do you want me to do?" His head lifts to look at me and I place my fingers around his chin, seeing the moisture on his lips.
"I've been prepared enough, I want your dick now. Let's see if it's as magical as your tongue." Grinning, he stands up and lifts me up, lays me on my back on his bed and lies down between my legs.
He places a few kisses on my legs, then stretches up on his elbows so he's hovering over me. Then he kisses my cheek and my lips, lets his tongue slide over them and lets me taste myself.
I run my fingers through his blonde hair and pull his body closer to me. When he pulls a condom out of his pocket, I hold my breath.
"You still want to do this?" His look calms all the worries I had. I nod, stroking my fingers over his heated cheek.
"I trust you." His next kiss is passionate, his hands gliding over my body, caressing every bit of exposed skin. I lift my back off the mattress and let him take off my bra. His head lowers to run his tongue over my navel. As he sucks on them, I moan softly.
One of his hands starts kneading my breasts and when I try to take off my skirt, he stops me.
"Leave it on, okay?" I kiss him in response.
His hand strokes my sides and my own hands rest on his shoulders as he presses the tip of his cock against my entrance.
"Ready, baby?" When I agree, he presses himself into me and for a moment I have to squint my eyes because it hurts.
Then I feel several gentle kisses on my cheek, my forehead and my lips. His attempts to distract me work and as I become more and more relaxed, he slides further into me.
Slowly he presses his hips against me, the stretch so great that I can feel him all the way into my stomach. He waits for a moment, whispering sweet things in my ears until they get dirty and I beg him to move.
My hands wrap around his shoulders as he thrusts into me for the first time, the air around us thickening as he grunts and a moan escapes me.
"You're doing so well, God, you feel so good." His hips move faster and faster, the pleasure spreads through my body and the wetter I feel, the easier he slides in and out of me.
"You are perfect, my perfect girl. Do you feel good?" His hands stroke my skin, gently pinching my nipples, playing with them and making me squirm beneath him.
As he grips my hips and pushes himself harder into me, my head starts to spin. My noises get louder.
"Carl- god, please go harder" And so he does, the room is filled with the sounds of our bodies and sweat forms on us.
"Baby, do you want to ride me? You have such pretty thighs." I nod and when he pulls out of me I can't think clearly, I just want him to fill me up again.
He leans back and as I stabilize myself on his shoulders, I sink back onto him. The feeling is even better that my eyes roll back. His hands grasp my hips, helping me move.
"That's right, baby. You're doing so good, riding my cock like the good girl you are." At his words, I tighten my grip on him and he curses as I move harder on top of him.
The faster I go, the more exhausting it becomes, but as I feel a knot forming in my stomach, I ride him so fast just to chase my pleasure.
Then suddenly as he hits my spot inside me over and over again, I go boneless on him and melt in his arms. My come drips all over him and as he continues to fuck me, reaching his own climax, I tremble in his grip.
"Just a few more thrusts, baby. Ah, keep holding on to me." Even though I have lost my strength, I move on him a few more times until he comes and I lay my head on his shoulder.
We're both breathing heavily, but everything feels so good, so warm and comfortable, that I don't want to move a single muscle anymore.
He carefully pulls out of me, I moan slightly at the loss. He gently lays me back on his pillow and gives me a kiss before throwing the condom away.
He pulls the blanket over us and puts his arm around me to pull me closer. I snuggle up to him and feel so safe that I quickly press my lips to his skin.
"That was wonderful." He also presses a kiss on my hair.
"That was incredible, you are the best. I can't wait to do it again." Our embrace becomes tighter. For a moment the room is silent.
When I whisper his name, he hums in response.
"I know it's cliche to say something like that after the first time. But I just feel it so much that it hurts to keep it to myself. I love you." As I lie on his chest I hear his heart stop for a moment and then it starts beating much faster.
"I- no one has ever said that to me before." When I raise my head and look at him, he doesn't look at me. Instead, his eyes are fouced on the ceiling.
"I just want you to know. I don't want to put any pressure on you to say it. I just thought you should hear it. You know, now that things are serious between us." Again he is silent and I start to worry, but then he looks at me.
"You are truly the most incredible person I have ever met. I consider myself very lucky." He smiles at me, then leans down and we kiss for a moment. It feels like heaven.
We lay there for a few minutes, just cuddling and telling each other how our day was. We laugh and as the sun slowly sets, I start to get dressed.
"I wish I could stay here with you. But you know what my parents are like." He leans back on his elbow, watching me get dressed and contact my parents to pick me up.
"Hmm, I think we would do it again. If you stayed here tonight, I mean." I smile at him, sit down on his bed for a moment and ruffle his hair.
"I wouldn't mind, darling." The nickname makes him blush and when he leans forward to kiss me, I playfully push him away.
"I have to go, are you coming down with me?" He nods, feigning annoyance, and as we walk out of his room, he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me towards him.
He steals his kiss there, but more than that he steals my heart.
We smile at each other and for this moment everything is just perfect. We go downstairs and just as we are back in the living room we hear a door open loudly.
A visibly drunk man stumbles in. I see Carl tense up next to me, staring at the stranger angrily. I quietly lean towards him to whisper my question.
"Who is that?" When he rolls his eyes, I get a bad feeling.
"That's my father, great isn't it?" The man in front of me is dirty, has unkempt hair and an unpleasant smile on his face.
"Should I ask my parents if you can stay overnight?" My gaze is more focused on the man than on Carl.
But he just shakes his head, and just as he is about to answer, the man sees us too.
"Oh, my son! It's so good to see you, not really, but I'll take your bed. Fiona has mine. Is that your little girlfriend? She looks expensive, very good catch. How much money did you rip her off? I hope it's worth it to go through all this drama." I frown in confusion, but when Carl freezes next to me, I become uncertain.
"What does he mean by that?" This time my gaze is directed solely at Carl.
"Nothing, he's drunk-" but before he can finish, the man does.
"How rude of me, I am Frank. The proud father of this child, at least one of my descendants has made something of himself and used his talent. He has my good genes, the good looks and I teach him the tricks. Like exploiting an innocent, very very rich girl for money. It doesn't bother you, I hope? You seem to have enough, but I hope my son returns the favor to you."
The words catch me so off guard that I can't move. I don't believe anything this man says until I see the guilty look on Carl's face.
"W-what? That's a lie, right? Tell me he's lying, Carl." As he runs his hands through his hair and tries to answer me, Frank speaks again.
"Oh, you haven't confessed to her yet? My fault, I should have waited. I didn't think you would humiliate this girl for so long. I told you this wouldn't end well." But Carl ignores him completely when he notices me moving away from him.
"Wait, I'm sorry. It wasn't like that-" But I interrupt him, already feeling tears gathering in my eyes.
"So what happened? You act like you don't want any money from me and-" Carl's look becomes frustrated.
"You offered me your money! You said if I matched it, everything would be fine for you." I'm almost speechless, is this all a nightmare?
"Are you serious? I offered it to you because you weren't asking for it. And now I find out it was your plan from the beginning? You just talked to me, just spent time with me to get my money? Who does that?" Frank's voice intervenes.
"I invented the strategy, my dear. It's turning out to be quite useful." But I don't pay attention to him, I just look at Carl.
"Please, I'm sorry. Yes, it was meant that way in the beginning, but it's different now. I-" My tears flow when he admits it and any feeling of happiness disappears. All that remains is betrayal and sadness.
"You what? What am I saying, you were probably happy that I only wanted you in return. I'm such an idiot. You didn't just take my money, you took my first time too!" As he comes towards me, I step back.
"Listen to me, I didnt force you to do all this for me. You wanted it." The more he talks the more desperate I feel and the greater my anger becomes.
"You idiot! I thought you liked me! I thought you finally noticed me too." My sobs get louder and my vision blurs. When he tries to grab my face, I slap him.
"My cue to go. I can see that you're sorting it out between yourselves just fine." Frank's footsteps fading away are nothing compared to the sound of my heart breaking.
"I like you, I really like you. At first it wasn't my intention to start a relationship with you, but then I got to know you and-" Every word that escapes him is only worse.
"Stop talking! You know what the worst thing is that I liked you for so long before you even talked to me. And I thought it was a miracle when you first spoke to me in the libary. I should have listened to the others, you only care about yourself!" I wipe the tears from my cheeks, wishing I could be anywhere but here.
Then before he can say anything, I turn around and run out of the house. But I hear him following me.
"Wait! Don't just walk away, I have to get this straight. Hey!" He catches me, turns me around and holds my tear-stained face in his hands.
"I'm an idiot, I know that. I'm sorry for hurting you. I- God, I love you. You hear me? I love you too. Please stay." But I just shake my head and try to free myself from his grip.
"How do I know if that isn't a lie too? You've betrayed me, I can't talk to you now." When my car pulls up, I get in without turning around. I don't look back, even though his loud curse can be heard throughout the whole neighborhood.
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Your pov
I spend the next few days without saying much, but I cried almost the whole time.
I miss him incredibly, not a day has gone by in the last few months when I haven't seen him and now I've been alone for three days.
I wish he was here, but on the other hand I am so hurt and feel terrible. He is the reason for this.
I wish I had never found out. I wish he had never done it, never lied to me. Didn't use me for money, but worst of all, I don't know if he even likes me.
Today is the first day that I go back to school. Even though I put on make-up, choose a nice outfit and listen to my favorite songs to distract myself, I can only think of him.
His blonde hair, his beautiful eyes, the way his lips felt. How he felt inside me. Then I remember that he loves me and how he finally said it, something I have wanted to hear for so long.
But then I think about what he did and everything feels empty again.
As I enter the school, my friends come to meet me. They already know what happened, they all hug me and I feel a little better.
Until I see him.
And he sees me too. It takes all my effort to avert my gaze. To get my books out of my cupboard, but then I have to stop because he is not standing next to me offering to carry them.
I take it myself, close my door, but before I can go any further, he is standing in front of me. My heart stops. Oh, how his eyes shine.
"Do you need help?" His eyes focus on the books and I have to swallow several times before I can answer.
"No, I have to go to class now." But as I try to walk past him, he stops me.
"You don't answer my texts, you don't call me back. I'm not allowed into your house and you avoid me at school. What can I do? Please tell me what I need to do, so you forgive me." I laugh, but it is without humor.
"What can you do? Move."
I can see his shock, but he still doesn't step aside.
"Can't you hear me? I said-" but he walks toward me until I'm forced to lean my back against the lockers.
His eyes find mine.
"I can't sleep. And when I do, I dream of you. There's a - a hole in my heart that only you can fill. It hurts and I hate not being with you. It's even worse to be here, when you don't look at me the way you usually do. You don't smile at me, God, you don't look like you're in love with me anymore. It's hell."
Tears gather in my eyes, his words are so desperate, it hurts to see him like this.
"Maybe you should have thought about that before you took advantage of me. Before you slept with me." A tear runs down my cheek and I know my mascara is smudging.
"I know, I know. And I feel so bad, I'll do anything to make it right. Just tell me."
When I look into his eyes, my heart also hurts.
"Move, Carl. I can't see you now." This time he lets go of me and I go to class with tears in my eyes.
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Your pov
It's been four weeks since we last spoke, but it doesn't hurt any less to see him. Even if I don't let him talk to me, he doesn't give up.
He puts flowers in my locker, chocolate, and notes full of apologies and sweet promises.
Everything warms my heart, but it still feels like this money thing is unresolved between us. I know now that he likes me, very much in fact, as he makes it clear, but that doesn't change the real problem.
That he used me for my money.
As I leave school that day, I feel exhausted and, as I often do, I wish I had his arms around me.
Holding me tight, his lips kissing me, loving me.
As I wait for my father's car, I suddenly hear his familiar throat clearing. With my heart pounding, I turn around and see him smiling uncertainly at me.
"I know what I had to do and now I've done it. Here." He gives me an envelope and I take it uncertainly.
"Carl, your letters are flattering, but-" He quickly interrupts me.
"No, it's something else. Open it." The deja vu hits me unexpectedly and I slowly open the envelope, the content leaves me speechless.
"What is that supposed to be?" It's rhetorical, but I ask anyway.
"All the money I owe you. What you've kindly given me, I pay it back. Every cent. You can count." He looks so proud, I almost have to laugh.
"How- did you rob a bank?" He grins contentedly at my reaction.
"An old grandma." This time I laugh and he comes closer to me, slowly taking my hands.
"No, seriously. How did you do that?" He looks at me lovingly.
"Working in the kitchen every day after school, I found a part-time job with Fiona. The payment is bad, but it was worth it. I understand that money was the problem and well, that I wasn't honest to you." As I lower the envelope, we look at each other.
"Promise, no more secrets?"
He smiles and suddenly the world is a brighter place.
"Promise, but we continue one of our agreements." I raise my eyebrows questioningly, seeing him grin as he leans toward me, his breath brushing against my lips and he whispers:
"I'll still spend my breaks with you in the janitor's room."
The laughter that escapes me gets interrupted, when his lips meet mine.
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