#the way she looked at me
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During the start of the lockdown, I took Loki to an abandoned campground, just so she could be off leash. Those times were few and far between, and I got some of my favorite pictures of the two of us then.
#it feels weird talking about her in the past tense#her expression#the way she looked at me#it still doesn’t feel real
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Hi, yes, I dreamt I was in a throuple with Nat (looking like she did in infinity war) and another blonde haired woman (we shall refer to her as girlfriend 1 (gf1)). And we were getting ready for a horse show and GF1 was doing my makeup and I was being fiddly since I hate Make-up as it gives my disphoria and sensory issues. In the dream luckily it only gave me sensory issues.
Anyway so I was messing with the mascara and the eyeliner much to GF1 frustration (her makeup was flawless) and then Nat got involved which meant I instantly started flirting with her to which she responded „if you don’t hold still I’m not going to fuck you at all“ and as if that wasn’t already enough she then bend me over the fucking bathroom sink to do my makeup.
I’ll just be over here screaming into my pillow.
Not to mention that after the horseshow shenanigans GF1 and I both had our hands in Nat‘s back pocket, effectively holding hands and well her ass.
I’ve died and gone to heaven
#I’m incapable of getting over Nat‘s tone of voice as she said that#the dominance!!!#the rasp#the way she looked at me#I’m screaming#schreibers dream diaries#natasha romanoff#please bend me over the bathroom sink Nat
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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you know what fuck it we’re doing dadstarion
#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#astarion#tavstarion#idk if this is canon to the dorianverse yet but he looks like a little hobbit!!!#this is a Long long long time post brain i think. since they’ve sorted out the daywalker thing#i don’t think he’d be affectionate but i think he’d be VERY protective#they’re not bad parents in the way that they neglect or mistreat him or even just don’t love him#i think they love him to death but you just shouldn’t give your small child a KNIFE#this one is my favourite sister bc she reminds me of robin
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Slugcat distribution system gave them an explosive rabid raccoon and a overpowered sewer rat ❤️
#rain world#rainworld downpour#five pebbles#artificer#looks to the moon#rivulet#fanart#my art#Hiiii so uh little rant but#i changed the way i draw moon quite a bit because i wasn't too content with the old design#i don't hate the old one or anything like that#i just feel like this one fits her a bit more personally#old one also looked a bit too goober-like in comparison to everyone else and was the only one i had not changed at all from the first time#but also also i wanted to make her look a bit more like pebbles because i like giving siblings similar things in designs#i find it cool#and also she is now taller because pebbles being the smallest in the gang is funny to me goodnight chat.
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your pearl is one of my favorite designs for her i’ve ever seen <3 her face shape feels so right, and i love how you draw her hair. by way of a request, have you ever drawn her as an avian?
thank you so much! pearl's design is definitely my favorite to draw :')
ive done a bit of practice with pearl and grian as avians but that was way before i started posting hc publicly! ( these ones are new :D )
also played around with an alternate version! i dont know much about birds but i saw the australian barn owl and took more inspo from them
#pearlescentmoon#i also drew pearl with her head tilted all the way like how owls do but it ended up a bit freakier than i expected heh#me barely dipping my toes into more crechur designs... im too scared to try#eydireqs#asks#hc#my art#pearl was THE first hermit i ever drew (cleaning lady pearl and suit pearl)#she's always looked like this to me in my head#although in my earlier sketches she had curlier hair in the front that slowly phased out to the swoopy ones she has now#anyway this was really fun to do!!! i definitely need to do more studies on how wings work but :DD#learning many a things over here
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claudia BEYOND justifiably hating lestat and louis and dying hating them because they didn’t see her as a person with her own agency and treated her like a child at best and a toy at worst and both are ultimately to blame for her suffering BUT louis and lestat both genuinely loving her (in their own fucked up and deeply inadequate ways) and seeing her as their daughter and being irreparably traumatized by her death and their culpability in her suffering and the knowledge that she died hating them and it’s their fault and they can never make it right ever
#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv 2x07#claudia iwtv#charlie kelly pepe silvia meme but he’s also crying and he has a gun to his head#she deserves to hate them she deserves to kill them#but ohhhhhh my god they loved her. THEY LOVED HER THATS THEIR DAUGHTER.#and they’re her HORRIBLE parents#they loved her and it wasn’t enough and it wasn’t in the right way and it didn’t save her but it will still never leave them#i’m never going to recover from this fr#that last look……i have too many things to say#evil of my evil#ok ok someone muzzle me i gotta stop
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how to say “I love you” in x-files [6/?] ⤷ 2.13 — “Irresistible”
I don't want him to know how much this is bothering me. I don't want him to feel like he has to protect me.
#alternatively titled: scenes that make me absolutely feral#dana katherine scully i love you with all my heart#my gifs#em.txf#txf ily#the x files#msr#msredit#xfilesedit#txfedit#dailytxf#useremsi#useralf#usernessa#usergeorgette#singinprincess#userairi#usergabriella#tuserjana#crimeshowsource#otpsource#i could shout about this scene for hours#the wAY HE MAKES HER LOOK AT HIM#AND SHE FINALLY BREAKS BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T STOP HERSELF FROM LOOKING AT HIM#JESUS CHRIST
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going insane thinking about the harrow and palamedes friendship. harrow, who has never met another necromancer her age forming a bizarro 3D chess rivalry while pal worries about her safety at every possible turn. harrow, who is up to her eyebrows in paranoia and secrecy, trusting the sixth house with gideon unconscious and hurt, letting them into the ninth house quarters unsupervised. if “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” is goth for i love you, “death first to vultures and scavengers” has got to be goth for i love you (platonic). pal’s first reaction when harrow comes into his bubble in the river is to scoop her up in a hug, and at this point she doesn’t remember anything about him because cutting out all her memories of gideon is impossible without cutting out memories of the sixth, but she still makes him a skelehand to inhabit anyway. when harrow’s memories are finally whole, she tells dulcinea she couldn’t face pal knowing that his pen pal girlfriend died on her account, but the next time she “faces” him, palamades’s soul is in someone else’s body and harrow’s body is full of nona’s soul. he spends six months protecting and caring for harrow’s body (and nona obv), believing in the possibility of bringing her back to it the same way cam believed in him. “god, do you know i miss harrow terribly.” and by the time harrow comes back to her body at the very end of ntn, pal is gone forever, fully pauled. the last time harrow and palamades see each other as their complete selves is in canaan house, alive and unlyctored. two of the smartest and loneliest people in the solar system meet each other in the worst of circumstances and spend the rest of the story dancing around each other as fragments of themselves, trying to care about each other in the interim but never fully meeting like they did the first time. a friendship made almost entirely of missing the other person. “do you know i miss harrow terribly.” god. i need to lie down
#behold: a block of text i do not feel like putting paragraph breaks in#i am so fucking crushed that they try so hard to take care of each other in different ways but never see each other ever again#he gave her a lift you off the floor hug in the bubble and she didnt even know why.#the thing that made him miss harrow was ‘look at me like you’ve worked out how to kill me’ bc he knows scowling is her display of affection#she couldn’t even REMEMBER him in htn but she helped camilla find his soul and put him back together anyway#is this anything. am i sounding as insane as i feel#tlt#harrowhark nonagesimus#palamedes sextus#katie don’t look#ntn spoilers#htn spoilers#gtn spoilers
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Rip to the only reasonable Targaryen and her poor dragon
#rhaenys targaryen#rhaenys the queen who never was#rhaenys velaryon#hotd spoilers#hotd season 2#hotd#hotd s2#house of the dragon#meleys#rhaenyra targaryen#queen rhaenyra#game of thrones#aemond I love u but this wasn’t it#i mean what the fuck dude#aegon ur a dumbass too#tbh this got me feeling bad for the dragons#i mean the way meleys looked at her before dying#AND THE WAY SUNFYRE CRIED#Targaryens do not deserve dragons#in fact#NO HUMAN DESERVES DRAGONS OTHER THAN DAENERYS#i stg she was the only one who actually though about them as living beings#smh
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One wedding and three funerals
Background paintings under the cut
#tomgreg#succession#tom wambsgans#greg hirsch#shiv roy#roman roy#kendall roy#yeah no im not tagging everyone thats too much#this is me going 'how much implications themes and symbolism can i fit in one painting'#yes i gave rose shivs haircolor. if we ever find out how she looks like and its not like this im just gonna pass away i guess#but yeah i hope yall connect the dots#i put waaay too much thought and work into this. i was googling pictures of all the actors as kids just for reference (sigh)#honestly kinda wanted to make tom and greg link pinkies as like. a pinkie promise. but that was too hard to draw in this angle#at least not without obstructing the view of the ring which is important to see so ya#my fave is actually the tomshiv wedding pic i went off with that. i love them... they should have run away to become sheep farmers fr fr#anyway im so glad im done with this UGH!! finally i can draw smth else without being like oh noooo i need to finish this#i see a lot of you wondering why there is no portrait of logan but one of ewan#it's bc the placement of the painting represent their standing. logans portray would not hang next to the stairs#his present portrait hangs at the end of it. all the way up at the top. alone and withering away#basically the picture you see underneath ewan to the right? its where toms parents would be. the right side of the wall is tom and gregs#and the left one is the roy siblings theirs. since they grew up rich rich. and tom and greg didn't#but ya thats why ewan hangs here and logan does not :)
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Scary Sunset.
I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.
#mlp#sunset shimmer#twilight sparkle#twiset#the orbs are the glass balls sunset carries on her back btw its in her cast line up art#deep down sunset hates thea. she was named “twilight” by celestia. the time of day succeeding sunset. she was always her replacement#but at this point in the story sunset's also fallen for thea. so it's also a conflict of wills in sunset. love or hatred.#hence the “don't make me do this” language. she's rationalizing her hatred and violence as thea forcing her hand and getting in her way#when in reality she doesn't need to do any of this. it's her last stand and outburst to cling to a life of revenge that she's grown too#fond of. because she knows thea has the power to change that and disrupt her identity as a pathetic victim who fell from glory#and that's scary. thea's a very scary thing to sunset because suddenly sunset wants something and to be someone new.#she suddenly wants to change. to be better for someone else. and she never thought or believed that could be an option for her#anyways toxic yuri yayyy#my art#the grand galloping 20s#character design#i hope i got across the pained conflicted emotions in sunset's face tho i belabored over them these past 3 days#i hope a look of anger and dissonance and guilt and “oh god i don't really wanna hurt you please just obey me” while trying to intimidate#is readable. if so it's all in the eyebrows babey
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I've seen a few posts about women and pants now and many of them are very good, and not to nitpick those posts or downplay religious sexism or anything, but I have to emphasise:
Somebody who DOESN'T live in a controlling religious country/cult/family is also affected by sexism. We all know that, right? Secular parts of the first world also have opinions about how women dress, including when it comes to trousers, especially in childhood and in institutions like schools and the workplace
Me and many people my age (20s) remember being forced into skirts, punished and shamed by parents & teachers & peers & possibly then bosses about what we wear not being feminine enough, and it wasn't by deeply religious sects. Many updates to dress codes are very new and sexist views are still in place in many institutions. Normalised societal misogyny wants women (and people they want to treat as women) to dress femininely, down to what KIND of pants they're allowed to wear (compare a pink top and jeggings to mens jeans and tell me these two women are treated the same. Hating women in pantsuits is still a sexist office joke today, and even those outfits are feminine compared to male suits, which raise eyebrows when worn by women). The women I know who wear trousers regularly are literally otherwise feminine, and all wear dresses to events.
I know trousers have become much more normalised over the past few decades in secular society (yay!! the result of many many years of effort and lawbreaking) but let's not be absolute when we talk about the pants concept lol. Especially within a larger conversation about female/transmasc/intersex/transfem masculinity and social perceptions, especially in an age of rising fascism
#you know. misogyny?#transandrophobia#you're telling me only muslims and christians experience pants based sexism. in front of my salad?#i did not have screaming arguments with my nonbeliever non church attendee parents in the 2000s to have you lot --#sexism is Not strange or rare or fringe#pretend me wearing pants from then on was societally allowed. i got a talking to at school about pants.#i was scared i would have to wear a skirt at high school in the 2010s. thankfully the one i went to was more progressive#getting clocked as the only 'girl' in class wearing trousers without at leasts wearing a skirt over it#having older female AND male relatives pick up on the lack of a skirt/dress at events#yes some people think it's normal. and some people think being gay is normal. and some people dgaf if you're foreign or whatev#but existing some ways means you have certain experiences and there are certain risks hanging over you lol#just making this post bc some of you live in some extremely progressive USA city and have forgotten normal people exist /lighthearted#mum still shows me a polka dot dress i used to wear as a baby and asks me why i don't wear dresses. some dumb dress shes kept for 20 years#she wears trousers and dungarees sometimes. but that's the thing#pants are a temporary allowance. if that's all you wear then they hate that. you have to be Feminine when they demand#your wardrobe still carries sexist necessities before people start to look at you funny#if i went to an event like a wedding in a suit people would talk (closeted to most ppl irl)#anyway.#sending telepathic strength to anyone surrounded by so called progressives who have opinions on how they dress 👉👁️👁️👈
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worlds smuggest tween owning noobs on wizard101
#rose lalonde#lovisas art#uhhhhh#tw suicide bait#i guess??#if u look closely at the chat window#spent way too much time recreating the ui#anyway come find me on wizard101#this has been sitting in my drafts for like a week bc i thought i posted it a few days ago#and today i was like boohoo why is nobody leaving tags on my wizard101 post#well here it is i guess#oh and disclaimer yes roses psychoanalysis is full of shit and thats the point dont @ me#shes 12-13 (wizard101 was created in fall 2008 and sburb ended the world in spring 2009#she had a very slim window of time to play this masterpiece of a game
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I love that everyone in TMA is just. Unremarkable. Jon isnt a heroic character; he's self-loathing and depressed and he exhibits the same self-pity as I do when I'm self-loathing and depressed. He doesn't stand out for his strength of will or quick-thinking or virtue. He's a good person but he stops trying to stay human when it gets uncomfortable. He's everything that a regular person is when theyre trapped in a horrible situation and it's ugly and insufferable and Real.
#and dont even get me started on the rest of them#martin is jealous and petty and manipulative#and look at his life— look at his mother— of course he is!#basira would never do the things daisy does but she's perfectly content to look the other way and ignore it#and she does the same thing in the archives— the world is ending and she hides away with her books and pretends it's none of her business#and oh god MELANIE#like#it really drives home tim's point that all you need for the fears to ruin your life is just bad luck#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#jon sims
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