#the way i hurt myself with naveen's

[coffeeheartaddict2]

Everybody hurts Sometimes (3/?)

Enemy within

Book: Open Heart (au)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC Casey Valentine

Warnings: Character death, language, sexual references

****Trigger warning- these series deals with issues or addiction and abandonment***

Category: Angst

Rating: Mature

Word count: 1905

Summary: Mrs Martinez dies and the implications are far reaching. Casey finds out who has been sabotaging her and events shake Ethan to his core.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry

Authors note: Tash, I thought this was an AU, why is it close to canon?

No one has asked me but a valid thought. Yes I am using some canon but there are differences- the differences will become more apparent in the coming chapters.

😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓

It had been a few days when the whole hospital said farewell to Mrs Martinez. Casey received an email from Mrs Martinez. She had made it to Paris and Sacre De Couer. She looked so happy and that made Casey forget about her worries. She was still number one but the sabotage was still happening and she still had no idea. That and Naveen were troubling her. There were so many symptoms that were not adding up and the treatment that had appeared to be working now was not. Casey could tell Ethan was worried about him too, he did not say it but the concern was more noticeable each passing day. Nights provided a much needed respite, physically losing himself with Casey. And on the nights she was not with him he pleasured himself, it was never the same of course but it helped distract him from the pain.

A week and a bit after receiving the email from Teresa in Paris, Casey was flagged down by Bryce. He took her to an on-call room,Jackie, Sienna, Elijah were there. They informed her that Mrs M had died. Casey held it together but on the inside she was falling apart. If the treatment was going to kill her, why not straight away. The only comfort that Casey took was that she at least got to go out and do what she wanted and thus went on her own terms. The gang decided not to say anything and went about her day. The day was rough. The news of Mrs M had Casey second guessing herself all day. It was after the end of her shift when she went to the cafeteria to get something for the journey home when she saw Ethan. She had not told him but the guilt was eating at her and she needed to tell him. She sat down. He asked her if she had heard.

“It was me, I wanted to find a way to get out of the hospital, we stumbled onto a treatment that would work but still had a chance of failure. I told Mrs M the chances and she said yes. I then went through proper channels and my request was denied, then we planned the heist.”

Ethan so badly wanted to hold her hand in that moment but he refrained.

“What you did was kind, I have always been proud of how you have looked out for not just the physical elements of patient care. I do wish you thought of the consequences.”

“As a consequence I have been second guessing myself all day,just feel so guilty.”

“Stewing guilt helps no one, especially your patients,” Ethan looks at his watch, “Come, let’s go to the opera, I am a season ticket holder.”

Casey smiles sadly. When they are safely in his car he gives her a kiss. They arrive at the opera house. Casey’s breath was taken away by how gorgeous the interior was. She was not expecting to be seated in a box. Ethan stated that this was his box, he did not get to use it as much as he liked. They took their seats and Ethan took her hand in his. It was an Italian opera, about a girl who fell in love and a journey to the underworld. It was an emotional story. Ethan could not help but draw parallels to how he was feeling. He loved Casey, even though he had not told her but he knew some decisions had to be made. Despite the Mrs Martinez episode, she was still number one intern and it was likely, if nothing happened that she would be number one and on her team. He sure as hell was not going to have her reporting to June, she would know something was up straight away and Baz was not workable either as he did research more than patients. He wanted so desperately for them to work but could not see a way forward and more importantly how do you tell the woman you love that you need to end it. Sure they could remain secret like they have been but she definitely long term deserved more than a clandestine affair. Instead he thought of what he wanted to do to her assuming she was coming back to his. At the thoughts, his hand went up her thigh to her centre, Casey moved slightly to allow him better access. She was soaked so he teased her nub before moving to her folds and inserted two fingers. Casey’s breath hitched at contact then she got more turned on with how bold Ethan was. How she stayed quiet she did not know but she eventually came all over his hand. He quietly whispered “good girl” in her ear before continuing with watching the rest of the opera. The opera finished and she kissed him. She wanted to reciprocate right then and there but decided against it. They went back to his place, finished what they started multiple times over. Casey drifted off into an exhausted but blissful sleep. Ethan stayed awake, a myriad of thoughts going through his head, surprisingly the only regret was for what he knew needed to happen.

They got up early so he could drop Casey home, she gave him a kiss before exiting the car, unbeknownst to them, the kiss was seen by Landry. He was appalled. He had put in what he thought was a lot of hard work but yet he was unable to crack the top 5 of the competition. He suspected that Dr Emery was so high because all the attending wanted to stay on the good side of Harper but he could not figure how Casey was so high up and maintaining it with all the sabotage then that kiss, she had to be sleeping with him he thought. The plan to get her fired was in effect, he had anonymously told the family about the unauthorised treatment but the fact that Ramsey was sleeping with her, he could not wait to let this rumour loose.

He did not get the chance, however. An investigation was called and Casey and the gang were paired up. Casey was paired up with Aurora. Both were not happy. They had a difficult case too which was not helping. Meanwhile, Ethan was struggling. He got the results back and they were not good. Naveen had only one month to live and despite Casey’s assistance, he had literally run out of ideas. He knew that Naveen would want to make the most of the time that he had left. Casey saw him, he could tell she needed him, both as a mentor but also as Ethan but he needed to be alone. He shut her out. He felt bad about it but he needed it. Casey and Aurora did figure out what was wrong with little Tommy and something crystallised for Casey. It was not Aurora who ratted her out, it was from within their midst.

She went to the locker room. Landry was there.

“It was you wasn’t it?”

“Yes” said Landry arrogantly.

“Why? Some of what you did could have really impacted the patients.”

“No it wouldn’t have.”

“How the fuck can you say that?”

“Yeah and how has you sleeping with Ramsey not impacted your position?”

Casey looked shocked.

“I saw you get dropped off and the kiss. I work harder and study and yet you are on top and sleeping with the boss.

Casey is seething. She knew she was getting harder cases but she was solving them.

“Yes I have had some difficult cases to solve but I have solved them, no assistance from Dr Ramsey. Yet I can think of several instances where your plan has not worked because you were not thorough enough. Any changes in lifestyle are just as important in solving the case.”

“All of that is superfluous…”

“No Landry, it is not, a patient is more than the symptoms they present, listening to them can hold the key. Like with my first patient, the tests lead to one issue, it was not right but I remembered something she said and it lead to the correct Diagnosis.”

Landry was flabbergasted. Unable to say anything.

“Is that why you ratted me out?”

“Yes, your actions robbed a family of their mother…

“A mother who was trapped by her treatment. She resented it, Landry.”

“Yeah well who gave you permission to play God or are you hoping that sleeping with Ramsey is enough to save you.”

The rest of the gang walked in, confused at what was going on.

“It was Landry that ratted me out to the family.”

“Landry,No, why?” Said Sienna, both shocked and angry. The rest of the gang stood behind Casey.

“What, it does not bother you she gave a treatment that killed someone? Does it not bother you that she is sleeping with Dr Ramsey and getting preferential treatment?”

“We knew what we were getting into with the heist but we did it anyway. Yes we are sad she died but at least she got to go out on her own terms. Because Casey actually cares about her patients, that is why she is on top.” Said Jackie.

Landry took his leave, I will pack my things and be gone.

Casey thanked the gang for sticking up for her. She went and finished her shift. Not wanting to address the elephant in the room.

She found Ethan and he apologized for his behaviour. He said he had to tell Naveen he had a month left to live. He was dreading doing this. She asked him to come with him. They went to the room. He could tell by the looks on our faces that the news was not good. Ethan apologizes for not been able to cure him. That he only had a month to live.

Naveen, despite the news, was understanding. I know you put everything into this, but sometimes there are mysteries that can not be solved. Now I am going to take my leave and enjoy the lake house I rarely get to enjoy. They see him off. He gives Casey a hug and whispers to her “do not let him shut you out, my dear” and he embraces Ethan. “Don’t shut her out, she has been great for you.”

Ethan is taken aback slightly and they watch him make his way to the bus stop. Casey gives him a hug and they share a brief kiss. He says I am so sorry and makes his way inside. He hands his badge in and quits. Casey, as well as Harper are shocked. Casey runs after him. He can see she is upset.

“I am not the man you thought. I am sorry Casey.”

He walks away, leaving Casey standing there she’ll shocked. How she finishes the shift she does not know. On the train ride home she listens to the voicemail.

“Rookie, I am sorry for today. I need a few days to process, you and me are not over, I know I have taught you to never give up so please don’t, your career is worth fighting for. I will contact you when I am ready.”

His message gives Casey food for thought. She knows she did the wrong thing for the right reasons but how to go about clearing her name.

——

Authors note 2. Yeah that was a good place. Next chapter will be intense. Have ice cream or whatever comfort food you need.

Tagging: @jerzwriter @jamespotterthefirst @genevievemd @potionsprefect @liaromancewriter @cariantha @peonierose @youlookappropriate @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction @bex-la-get @a-crepusculo @crazy-loca-blog @schnitzelbutterfingers @binny1985 @ofmischiefandmedicine @lucy-268

@choicesficwriterscreations

@openheartfanfics

[legiomiam]

Tagged by @awritingcaitlin x8 PART 4 OF 4. my words are: bring, crime, battle, clear, building, shoot, smirk, space, spot, sweet

I’ll tag: @mariahwritesstuff, @mr-writes, @mjjune

your words are: help, jacket, cook, dark

Some backstory: these are going to be from scenes I did before This Dark And Divine Place was nothing but vibes. When Rashka and Bahram (guess who found out they were spelling their own character’s name wrong) were just starting out.

Some character’s names were changed- any form of Verrance/Verence/Varence, etc are Klaas. Sonya is Marjorie. Neecey/Neesy is the nickname the kids gave to Synthian before she had a name.

Also the tense shifts ALOT because I did not write any of this in order and bounced around so this isn’t stuff A to Z it’s just scenes I wrote for sprinting to get a feel of the story. So when the timer ran out I stopped writing the scene.

I’ll apply appropriate warnings… but most of this is probably NSFW

☙❦❧

BRING

I wondered if Thema could tell, but not wanting to breach any of their trust I kept my mind in my own head and their own thoughts in theirs — even if they screamed at me. I wanted to mention it to Thema to see if I could train that.

I was good at keeping thoughts from making their way through my shields but when they were thought with such emotion it was like running into a wall at the speed of a runaway carriage. The thoughts would splinter apart like wood and bone and my own mind would scream — begging to be put out of such misery.

Would they all leave me on the streets, angry when finding that I could do such a thing?

So I kept it to myself, I kept each thought even those from the hunters that worried that I would sneak into the town and feed on the children, tear apart the women. They even worried that I would seduce the men much like I seduced Bahram into bringing me back each time.

The distrust there hurt but I understood why, our blood was at war since we were clay and stones, since we were cooling corpses being brought back to life.

☙❦❧

CLEAR

Bahram turned and glared, his mouth opened and I slammed into him. Shock clear on his face as my fists connect with it, he moves to stop me — to shift once more — but I push my way into his mind and hold it. Shock was there as he couldn’t move so I could hit him over and over.

The man Naveen was arguing with in the hall jumped the barrier ready to incapacitate me. Without looking at him, staring into wide hazel eyes instead I sense the man behind me freeze. His heart raced then turned into a slow sluggish thump as his veins darkened. Patches of frostbite appear on his skin and air leaves him in puffs.

It’s not the blood of my father in me that should be feared.

Bahram kicked as I stole the air from his lungs, then gasped to suck in much needed breath as I moved off him, the man behind me dropped shivering as his skin went grey, it would be reversible with proper healing. 

I let the hold on the prince’s mind go as I walked from the training center, a small rope was what I balanced on ready to fall off.

They were lucky that I was not my mother.

☙❦❧

BUILDING

Fuck. Him.

I wanted to bare my teeth and growl. I wanted to rip his throat out.

He already stopped my food supply and I knew from his own putrid thoughts he wanted me weak so I would agree to marriage with him for the chance to survive.

I would not agree, there was nothing for me. Once I may have been his, may have longed for a seat on top of my family’s throne with his kingdom uniting with mine. Although now that I know just how cruel he is I have no want, no need to ally myself with such a monster. The sound of the building of burning fae children that was his men’s doing roared in my head, mighty and full of unprecedented rage

☙❦❧

SHOOT

I was faster than the Fae behind me, but Bahram was trained for years on how to be defensive against my kind. Plus whatever this shifting was, where he was and wasn’t. An ankle hooked around mine and I hit the mud, grass freezing.

In rage everything was shooting from me in waves, ice forming in thick spears after him.

Wear her out and she’ll be done.

Krishorn’s thought was loud and I already knew that was the tactic, catching me off guard to apprehend me, see what threat I was. That’s what training was to see if I had a limit and what it was.

I let myself glimpse his thoughts and perfectly timed when he would appear behind me, ice shooting out and slicking under his feet. Satisfied in the balance he lost.

☙❦❧

SMIRK

He hummed as his hand tangled in my hair as he slid up enough to lay his back against the pillows, who needs that many pillows?

“I’ve had you every way I could think of and I have a few places I’d like to revisit, but my favorite.” That fucking smirk, “is this.” His hand slid around so his thumb brushed against my mouth.

☙❦❧

SPACE

He did need my hand in marriage to join two of the most powerful bloodlines in the council. My limbs grew heavy and with the anxiety the cold began to grow and I saw the men holding on to me puff out white clouds of quickly cooling air.

The frozen shards shot out in my frightened state and soon the guards had to let me go as I encased myself in a frozen solid immovable cage. Spikes started to form out of the ground to keep them at bay.

From inside my safe space

☙❦❧

SPOT

A rage filled me and just as suddenly went out like blowing out a candle when Nessy chirped and swiped at Johan. He took a step back, hand still holding the basket as Nessy growled louder, her body shifting onto her hind legs coming to be a couple feet taller than him. Her black glassy eyes never leave him when Reign begins to wail. Really wail for the first time.

Everyone stared at the moving basket in shock as I pulled myself together and struggled towards it, Reign getting louder than I’ve ever heard him scream.

I gently take the basket and set it down, pulling back the blanket to make a noise at him from his hiding spot. A bubbly hiccup and sniffle, he coos and waits for Neesy to chirp back.

The feeling of what mental capabilities my blood has given him.

I pull my baby from the basket and wrap him back in the blanket and hold him close, eyes ever shifting to the new threat of Hunters who could also kill him.

Kill us.

☙❦❧

SWEET

Dirty fingers pry my jaw down, they probe my gums and push hard around the slits, it’s painful having my fangs forcibly withdrawn from their resting spot. He tasted like stale tobacco and the too sickly sweet smell of rot. Of dozens of vampyres that have been slain by these hands, nowadays anyone could be a fanger. Any human who thinks that they’re protecting their own but go the illegal way about it by selling parts of my kind on the markets.

But I am tired, so tired of everything that has happened, I’m tired and pissed. Pissed because the man that I wanted most in the whole entire world couldn’t tell me goodbye, and then somehow was slain at the hands of a monster.

[grapecaseschoices]

want/need/dread

Thank you @wayhavenots for the tag.

I am not 100% who has done this and who has not so -- @lyuyu , @thelittlestspider , @shady-saint , @olivershen , @quackle , @ice-knife , @mevnraels , @pearlsandsteel , @karolinarodrigueswrites , @moonless-if , @thecapturedafrique .... and whoever else wants to. 

List your ocs and name one thing they want to hear, one thing they need to hear, and one thing they would dread to hear.

I have like 13 ocs, so I’m not ... yeah.

Irvin Etienne (KOTSAM/KOTDAN): want: you’re actually doing good, kid. what you’re doing? it adds up, it makes a difference. | need: thank you. | dread: no one will ever be able to forgive what you did. they will remember it forever, and it will eclipse anything else you’ll ever do.

Nicola Abbott (KOTSAM/KOTDAN): want: all this hard work will pay off. | need: it’ll be okay, eventually. it will be normal once again. | dread: it will be your fault, what you’re doing will never be enough, you don’t have it in you to handle this responsibility. 

Naveen Joseph (FHR): want: it’s not weakness to love him. he loves you too | need: you’re making it. and you will be free. | dread: there’s no escape.

Carmela Brown (FHR): want: you’ll have your revenge. and it’ll be glorious. | need: it’s okay to hope she’ll forgive you. it’s okay to admit that you need them. it’s okay to want to crawl before him with your heart in your hands | dread: you won’t be able to plan for this, you won’t be able to land on your feet.

Pierre Lin (TWC): want: i know you know this, but it’s all right if you choose to never forgive her. | need: what happened with bobby won’t haunt you forever. none of your past or decisions will. | dread: what if felix knew the kind of man you really were are.

Surina Kingston (TWC): want: you’re not making a mistake sticking by her (which her? both of them) | need: this wasn’t the wrong decision | dread: it will consume. 

[openheartforeverinmyheart]

What about you? Is there a song you had in mind?

After the Miami kiss, your MC is hanging out with the gang and Ethan is (not so discreetly) staring at her, and a song starts playing that makes Ethan feel all kinds of emotions towards her, what is that song?

Thank you for this Cari ❤️

Only Love Can Hurt Like This by Paloma Faith definitely comes to mind.

"I tell myself you don't mean a thing And what we got, got no hold on me But when you're not there, I just crumble I tell myself I don't care that much But I feel like I die 'til I feel your touch"

I feel like this part screams Ethan, him trying his hardest to deny his feelings towards MC, but knows deep down it's useless. I HC Ethan being tortured that he can't act on his feelings (-he deserves it for putting my precious MC through so much emotional turmoil-) but also knowing that MC is such a brilliant doctor he can't risk hurting their career or tarnishing their reputation in any way (at least that's what he convinced himself of).

"Must've been a deadly kiss Only love can hurt like this"

I've always thought that they wouldn't have known about each other's feelings if it weren't for the kiss (they'd always doubt that the other might feel something -MC would know first cuz Ethan might've been a little oblivious to MC's feelings towards him, or would chalk it up to simple admiration and not something much deeper- but it would remain a speculation), but that kiss was the catalyst, they can no longer ignore the feelings they have, so it's deadly in the sense that it killed their intentions of keeping their emotions hidden (sure Ethan didn't act on them until looong after, but in that moment he revealed his feelings towards MC).

"But every time you're there, I'm beggin' you to stay And when you come close , I just tremble And every time, every time you go It's like a knife that cuts right to my soul"

This part reflects MC's feelings for sure. Noone can deny that MC felt hurt by his rejection (I HC my MC kinda agreeing with him, a part of her knows it would seem unprofessional and people would judge them harshly, but she would still be devastated knowing that he felt the same but choosing to reject those feelings rather than finding a compromise -like dating in secret cuz I'm a sucker for this trope or assigning her to a different attending-). Then comes the angsty period of them working in secret on Naveen's case, MC seeing him seemingly unaffected by what happened while they can't ignore the tension between them and feeling hurt that he is refusing to acknowledge the kiss.

[monsoonblooms12]

Evening Porch (Ethan x f!MC)

Summary: The Sharma-Ramsey family spends a serene evening together, and Pooja asks a question to Ethan.

A/N: This was a prompt request sent by the dearest @mvalentine from the 101 ways to say 'I love you' prompt list (still accepting, feel free to send in!) I hope you like what I came up with, my lovely and thank you so so much for sending the request in❤

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey X f!MC (Pooja Sharma)

Word Count: around 870 words

Rating: General

Category: Fluff, Domestic Bliss: Family Dynamics

Warnings: None that I noticed

Prompt: "I want you, and only you" from 101 ways to say 'I Love You' prompt list

Hey, Jenner! An excited squeal followed by a peal of laughter sets the scene for the disappearance of the first rays of the dark orange sun that reigned on the skies in these evening hours.

Two kids run around the lawn, their merry laughter echoing through the quietude. The golden retriever runs around along with them, fur shining like the sun itself.

Two adults sit together on the porch, letting their hearts devour the scene in front of them. It's an ideal evening, so peaceful, so serene, so ethereal.

A smile sits permanently on Ethan's lips. It was such an irony, for a person who held the frown on his face like a majestic marble statue of the town square, to be smiling like that.

The summer was still young, and the gentle zephyr made their hair dance, along with leaves of the numerous plants scattered around their home.

Lowering her head on his shoulder, Pooja words a question as if thinking out loud.

"When did you know?"

"Hmm?" He asks, faint surprise mixed in his tone.

"When did you know that you wanted this-" She gestured to their family "-with me?"

He let out a soft laugh and turned his head to place a soft kiss on her forehead, wondering not even for a single moment about the answer.

"I always knew"

She looks up, eyes sparkling as the violet slowly starts overtaking the orange of the sky.

"Really?"

"Definitely"

Her gaze drops for a moment, full of wonder and affection, because if asked, her answer would have been the exact same as her husband's was.

There was something between them that set them apart. In hurt and in love, they never doubted their relationship for once. Slow steps led them from one milestone to the next.

It was a long journey, with thorns and storms, and there were times when everything seemed out of control. But after making through it all, they had finally reached here, together, never falling apart.

"You know" Ethan's words are whispers, filtering through the tendrils of brown locks to reach her, very much like the sunshine filtering through the canopy to reach the forest floor. Head once again on his shoulder, she barely looks up, the movement enough for him to know that she is listening.

"I was scared. Scared of falling in love. Scared of trusting someone. The fear that I would be left alone, time and again, prevented me from holding the hand I wanted to. From saying the words I wanted to." His voice cracks just a bit, almost unnoticeable, but her time with him has made her used to noticing these subtle happenings. Her hand rushes to grip his, and unlike his words, this time he holds it tight.

"I was afraid that kids are not in the charts for me. That I would turn into another Louise and betray them as she did with dad and me."

"You would have never. Even if I wasn't there in the picture as the mother of your children"

"I don't want to imagine a world where you are not in the picture, or not the mother of my children" His thumb draws gentle circles on the back of her hand, as she snuggles closer to him.

"You have given me the courage to believe in myself. Believing in you, was the guide of my journey to believe myself." He could feel a smile break out on her face, and on instinct, his lips curl up to match hers.

"I have never wanted much in life. Just enough for me to prove myself, to make my father proud. To make Naveen proud. But after you came, I realized that there was only one thing that I ever wanted from life. Something I didn't even know about."

She sits up straight, facing him. Their eyes lock, the dark just a few minutes away. Looking into each other's eyes, noticing the love they had for each other through them, and getting lost in them for a while, there was no bigger serenity than it for them.

"I have only wanted you. And even now, I want you, and only you. Because I know, that with you by my side," He places a chaste kiss on her hand which he had been holding. "I will be the happiest man on earth"

No one could tell who moved first. But seconds after his words get over, their lips meet in a gentle rush. There was something irenic about it, something tranquil, that only the magic of their love could produce.

As the moon slowly lifted the veil of clouds and showed its glowing face to the earth, the small family sat there to witness the halcyonic moment. Two ice blue orbs, which had lost every bit of coldness that ever existed in them, looked around.

Capturing the moment and storing it forever in his heart, there was a completeness he felt in that moment. As if the years of solitude had all paved a way for this moment to come into his life. And silently, he thanked the woman beside him, for gifting him the happiness he didn't even know he deserved.

PS: Thank you very much for reading, and I am extremely grateful for you❤

Tags💖 (Please let me know if you want to be added or removed or if I forgot you):

Perma: @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @udishaman @aestheticartsx @twinkleallnight @schnitzelbutterfingers @sophxwithers @sweatyrysconnoisseur @nikki-2406 @choicesfanaf @trrfanaddict @starrystarrytrouble @gardeningourmet @parkbarks @mvalentine @lovablegranny @mercury84choices @lawyerlies @phoenixrising308 @adiehardfan @quixoticdreamer16 @a-crepusculo @clanlahela @gryffindordaughterofathena @natureblooms24 @anonymousrookie

Open Heart (All fics and edits): @lucy-268 @maurine07 @bellcat2010 @headoverheelsforramsey @estellaelysian @shanzay44 @mysticalgalaxysstuff

Ethan x Pooja: @aleynareads @choicesaddict5 @stygianflood @mysticaurathings @jamespotterthefirst @ilikemenbutonlyethanramsey @takemyopenheart @mm2305 @kit-rookie-princess @satrangee-ray @luvsyana @barbean

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[lsvdw-blog]

Okay

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings; Rating: Angst (with a happy ending); General

Premise: The aftermath of MC and Ethan's fight about their date night debacle.

Author’s Note: Thank you to everyone for the lovely feedback on Part I and II! This almost had an alternate ending, (it's still sitting in my WIPS) but I couldn't do them like that 😅 it starts off angsty, but the happy ending is there 😊 I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading 💖

She struggles to unlock her front door, vision blurry from the tears. She hopes to any and every deity that the apartment is empty as she stumbles through the entrance.

“Serena, you’re home! How did it go?”

Sienna is at the dining room table, jumping excitedly in her seat. Her face falls as she takes in her roommate’s running mascara.

"It didn't go."

“What?"

Serena staggers to the couch, falling face first onto the cushions. "He didn't show…"

"Oh sweetie… " Sienna stands and makes her way to the couch. Sitting on the unoccupied end, she strokes her best friend’s hair.

“Then, I went to his apartment and we had this huge fight and he called us a mistake," she says through her sobs as she sits up and puts her head on Sienna’s shoulder.

"Do you want to stuff our faces with takeout and junk food and binge watch Marvel movies?"

Serena just sniffs and nods her head.

Two hours later, the television is playing a soft melody as they share their second pint of Ben & Jerry's.

"Even after everything… Steve is Peggy's Lobster, just like Ethan is yours."

Serena looks to her left with incredulity.

"You know! Lobster! They fall in love and mate for life!"

Serena snorts. "Have you seen the claws on those things? Ever been pinched by one? Shit hurts," she says as she puts another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

They sit in silence for a few minutes before Serena’s dejected voice rings out. “Why does he keep doing this to me?”

Sienna scrunches her nose. "Lobsters always were finicky."

~~~ One Week Later ~~~

“Here are the test results you requested, Dr. Ramsey.”

She places the manila folder in front of him and takes a step back, keeping her head down.

Ethan stares at her for a long moment, willing her to look at him. It’s been like this for the past few days: she only speaks to him when absolutely necessary and avoids eye contact at all costs. When she continues to evade his gaze, he sighs, and opens the folder.

His brows furrow. “This isn’t the test we decided to order.”

“Oh. I'll go fix that right now.” She finally meets his eyes and says, “I must have made a mistake.”

His chest tightens: Did she make a mistake with the test... or with me?

~~~~~~

She approaches the office and knocks softly.

“Come in.”

She slowly pushes open the door and sees Naveen look up.

“Ah, Serena! To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my grand-mentee?”

She gives a small smile as she shuts the door behind her. “I was hoping you would have some time to talk.”

“What did he do?”

She spills the story, only stopping halfway through to take the tissue Naveen hands her. After she finishes, she wipes her eyes, and reaches into her coat pocket, pulling out something folded. “And I was hoping you would approve this.”

Naveen unfolds the paper, skimming over it. “A leave of absence?”

She nods. "I'm not asking for this solely because of what happened. I've been homesick for a while now; it was my first holiday season without my family and I haven't seen them since I moved here… and I don't know, I guess what happened with Eth—” she clears her throat, “Dr. Ramsey, was the last straw. It all feels like it's too much: Edenbrook, Boston.” She shakes her head before continuing. “I just… need a break. Please."

Naveen sits back and takes her in. She’s slightly hunched over, strands of hair falling out of her topknot, the concealer no longer hiding her dark circles, and she’s been wringing her hands since she sat down. The woman in front of him is a shell of the usually confident and exuberant young lady he is used to seeing and his heart breaks for her.

“I will grant you this leave of absence.”

She perks up at his words.

“On one condition.”

She eyes him warily.

“When you feel like you have reset, you must return and talk to him. I am not saying you have to make up with him, or even forgive him. Just talk to him about what happened.”

She is unmoving for a few seconds, then nods soberly. “You’re right, I know.”

“I wouldn’t be much of a grand-mentor if I wasn’t, now would I?” He says with a smile.

~~~~~~

Ethan is walking down the corridor to his office, trying to comprehend the words on the file in his hand, but his mind is elsewhere. The sun has long set, but he refuses to go home. To the place where, everywhere he looks, he's reminded of her. It's not like he'll be able to sleep anyways; he's lost count of how many sleepless nights he's had since their argument, tossing and turning for hours, as her side of the bed remains tucked and cold.

Not only has he been unable to sleep, he's been unable to focus on anything but her: her melodic laugh lilting through the hospital corridors, her sweet perfume lingering in the office, her animated way of chatting with anybody but him.

He opens the office door and a voice in the back of his head reminds him: You miss her, you idiot.

He rubs his bleary eyes and looks at his watch. 8:09pm.

He groans and goes to sit at his desk when a purple sticky note catches his eye. There, scrawled in her loopy half-cursive is a note: Need some space.

He immediately grabs his bag and rushes to the parking garage, hoping he's not too late.

~~~~~~

He knocks urgently, stepping backwards as the door swings open.

"Dr. Trinh, hello. Is Serena here? I really need to speak with her."

Sienna stands there, unblinking.

He awkwardly clears his throat and begins to try and look into and around the apartment.

Sienna follows his movements, trying, and failing, to block his line of sight.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Dr. Ramsey."

Before he can speak, she continues: “Even if she hadn’t left yet, she wouldn’t want to speak with you anyways.”

His blue eyes turn a shade stormier at this information. “What do you mean ‘if she hadn’t left—”

“Nothing!” Sienna goes to close the door, but is stopped by Ethan’s hand.

“Dr. Trinh. Sienna… please.”

His eyes are conveying a plethora of unspoken pleas, and after a few beats, she sighs.

“She’s at the airport.”

“What? Where is she going? For how long?”

“She’s going home and she didn’t say.” She shrugs.

Ethan immediately turns on his heel.

"Flight 936!" Sienna yells after him as he sprints back to his car.

He hurriedly weaves between the leisurely drivers and dodges through the lackadaisical travelers in the airport lobby, stopping in front of an information screen. His eyes scan the monitor furiously until he sees it.

Flight 936: Boarding Now.

He bolts to the nearest desk, buying the next available flight, and rushes through security.

He's running like a madman, frantically looking for her, hoping that she hasn't boarded yet.

He arrives at the designated gate area, but she's nowhere to be found. He's about to approach the help desk when a familiar voice rings out from behind him.

“What are you doing here?”

It’s not lost on him that she utters the same words he so callously said to her in front of his apartment that night.

He heaves a sigh of relief. He turns towards her, taking a step forward, only for her to take a step back, and the small smile on his face fades.

“I need to explain myself.”

“It’s a little too late for that.” She begins to walk around him.

Ethan lightly catches her wrist, stopping her. “Rookie… I know I've hurt you, innumerable times, and I am so sorry. Please hear me out and if you still want to leave afterwards, I will buy you a new ticket home.”

She looks into his imploring orbs and sees nothing but honesty. She closes her eyes, breathes out, and whispers, “I cannot believe I’m about to do this.”

She grabs her stuff and begins walking to a less busy part of the gates area. Ethan is too stunned to move for a moment. She looks over her shoulder and raises an eyebrow at him.

“Right!” and speedwalks after her.

She stands with her suitcase in front of her, arms crossed, waiting for him to start speaking.

He runs his hand through his hair, clears his throat, and locks eyes with her.

“There are no excuses for my actions, but I want you to know that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I know that’s an out people utilize, but in this case, it’s true. You know about my mother abandoning my father and I when I was a child, but what I have not shared is that her leaving absolutely destroyed my father. He waited and waited for her return, all the while putting on a brave face for me, and continuing to love her."

He notices that her arms have fallen back to her sides.

"What he did not know was that I could hear him crying at night, that I would catch him wistfully looking at her pictures, and overhear him leaving her voicemails begging her to come home. Watching him fall apart, while I couldn’t do anything, broke my heart and I promised myself I would never let myself be in the same position. ”

Her eyes have slightly softened now too and it’s all the encouragement he needs to keep going.

“My father says that he and my mother had a great relationship in the beginning. Then a few years down the road, it started to change. He told me that no matter how much you love someone, sometimes it just isn’t enough, because if it was, she wouldn’t have left. Therefore, to ensure that I wouldn’t be left heartbroken again, I closed myself off to anyone and everyone.”

He can feel the tears gathering slowly in his eyes and he tentatively reaches for her hands.

“Until I met you. You have been so incredibly patient, supportive, and understanding with me; I see and feel it everyday. Despite that, I am still afraid. Afraid that one day, you will lose your patience with me or that you will see what my mother, the one person who was supposed to love me most in the world, saw, and leave as well and I’ll be left shattered, begging you to come back to me.”

She begins to try and say something, but Ethan continues.

“I know you are not my mother and that I am not my father. But the images of him in the first few months after she left are ingrained and still haunt me.”

He’s gripping her hands tightly now and she squeezes them comfortingly.

“I do not want to make the same mistakes as my parents: that is what I meant. You, and we, are not a mistake. I know we can, will, do better. I completely misspoke the other night and even Jenner has been acutely avoiding me since then.”

She laughs lightly and it gives Ethan the strength to blink away his tears.

“I am so incredibly sorry for my words and for hurting you. I will spend however long and do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness.”

He rests his forehead against hers and whispers, "There are not enough words for me to convey my gratitude in having you in my life. You deserve better and I will do my utmost to be better. Forgive me, baby.”

She serenely scans his face and his heart begins to pound so loudly, that he wonders if she can hear it too.

She brings one hand to wrap around the back of his neck and her eyes flutter closed. She gives a small nod and whispers, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

She pulls back far enough to look in his cerulean eyes and nods again. He breaks out into a large grin and sweeps her up into his arms, spinning her around. She laughs in surprise and Ethan thinks it's the most wonderful sound he's ever heard.

He sets her back down and kisses her tenderly, languidly. He pulls away with great effort and takes her plane ticket.

“Now that you won’t be needing this anymore, how about we go back to my place?” He doesn’t wait for her to respond, as he’s already moving to collect her things. She tugs on his hand and he looks up. When their eyes connect, she places one hand on his cheek.

“I know this is difficult for you. So thank you. For your apology, for opening up to me… for trying.”

He leans into her touch and places a sweet kiss to her palm.

“For you, I am always willing to try.”

She beams at him as he places a soft kiss to her temple and they walk out of the airport, hand in hand.

[jerzwriter]

After so much angst - this is exactly what I needed! Thanks Bree!

Welcome to this week's installment of the Soon-to-be-Wed Game with Bree!!

Bree: We are going to start with some mild questions before moving on to the extra hot round... are you ready?

E: No.

C: (Smiles) Bring it!

Do you kiss and tell? Have you told your friends about your...adventures?

Casey: (Throws head back laughing) Oh, this is just DELIGHTFUL.

Ethan: No, really, it's not!

C: Ethan HATES it that Sienna knows just how freaking amazing he is. I mean, I don't think she's looked at him the same way since.

E: (Rubs face and gets ready to stand) I'm done. This is question one of the MILD questions? I'm done.

C: (Reaches over and pushes him down in his seat) Oh, sit. I'm staying and do you REALLY want me to answer all of these on my own? With no adult supervision?

E: (Red as can be, but he smirks) You do realize that you are an adult Casey, right?

C: Please! Compared to you I'm just some horny teenager who can't control herself. You need to be here.

E: Oh, dear God!

C: So anyway... yes. Sienna knows a lot, and she thinks he is a legend. (She bites lip.) And Jackie. Jackie knows some.

E: Jackie too!!

C: (Bops head, rolls eyes) …a nd Bryce ... just a little

E: BRYCE? Scalpel Jockey?! Your EX! He knows about... our...

C: He made a drunken comment about hoping the old man was keeping me happy... I made sure everyone at the bar knew exactly how much he was... without details of course.

E: (Spine straightens, looks proud) Well, I mean, you are normally .. pleased.

C: You have NO idea. But what about you, hun, have you told anyone.

E: (Shoots her a look) Seriously, Casey. Who am I going to tell? Naveen?

C: Oh, yeah, that would be awkward. You need more friends! What about Tobias, I'm sure he'd gladly listen to your sexcapades.

E: Oh, he'd listen for sure. Trust that. But there is no way I'm sharing.

My fiance looks the hottest in ____________.

E: My fiance looks incredible in everything and in nothing at all. But, if I am to be honest, my favorite thing to find her in is this little black lace, rhinestone-encrusted blindfold she owns. When I come home to her wearing that, her thigh high boots and nothing else… I'm done for.

C: (Mouth agape, speechless, red cheeks.)

E: What is it, Case? Something wrong?

C: Wha, wha... what did you just say?

E: Did you really think I would always allow you the upper hand here? Game on. And perhaps I'll call Tobias later. I am sure he would love to hear about that outfit, after all.

C: NO! Don't.. no...

E: (Grins widely) - Continue with questions, Bree. I think I finally understand why Casey enjoys this so much.

Bree: Casey, would you like to tell us what Ethan looks hottest in.

C: Maybe later. Can someone get me some water?

What song best describes that night after the country club (1.15)? You know which one...

E: (Grinning) Are you well enough to answer yet, Casey?

(No reply)

E: Casey? I may want to go a little serious on this one, so if you want to be your usual wise-ass self, your time is now.

C: No, it's OK, I suddenly appreciate and miss stodgy, serious Ethan. So, whatever we can do to get you back there, go for it.

E: I would say Wicked Game by Chris Isaak. In addition to being a very sensual song, the lyrics are quite representative of who I was at the time... afraid of love, assuming I could only be hurt, running away... But thanks to my lovely fiance (he takes Casey's hand and kisses it) I've evolved for the better.

Bree: Casey.. would you like to answer?

C: (Looks at Ethan adoringly, but she's still mortified) Ethan that was so sweet! God, I really love him. But I'm still so thrown by his last answer I'm just going to say Baby's Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot and move on.

E: (Incredulous) Is that really your answer?

C: (Still flustered) No. But it might help my attempt to reestablish myself as the wise-ass in this relationship.

Hottest thing my fiancé has ever done is ___________. (Doesn’t have to be dirty)

C: (Claps hands, jumps up in her seat) OK, I'm back. He got me naked and gave me a full body massage on his balcony, in broad daylight.

E: Yes, a few of my neighbors really appreciated that one too.

C: I sort of afraid to come back at you now. I don't know what you're capable of...

E: (Grins devilishly) Well, there was this time, I was really stressed at work and...

C: (Covers face with hand) (Moans) Oh, Gooodddd! OK! Yes, yes! FINE. I did. I went under his damn desk and ... took care of him ... while he met with a pharma rep he hated. I can't believe you were going to share that!

E: (Biting his lip and not moving a muscle for a long while), I was going to say you took me to Bella Sante at lunch for a hot stone massage, get it, hot stones, but ... can we leave now?

C: (Mortified) Honestly it might not be a bad idea...

Who said “Let’s make out” first? Where was it?

E: It was her, in my office.

Bree: Did you do it?

E: No, not at that time.

C: He was still acting like it was not flipping inevitable back then.

E: But, as you have learned, a lot has happened in that office since that time...

On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate their seduction skills?

C: Like a 75.

E: That low? Casey is at least 100.

(Both smile at each other, blushing, Casey giggles.)

What bathing suit does your fiancé look the best in?

E: You're not seriously pulling up pictures.

C: Damn straight I am! When you have a boyfriend...

E: Fiance...

C: ... as hot as you, a girl has to show him off! But, even though he has some far racier options, this one is my favorite because it's just so... Ethan... and he looks so hot in it.

Bree: Wow, that is very impressive. Ethan, do you have one of Casey.

E: (Tosses phone at Bree) I'm a lucky guy, aren't I?

(Casey leans over and kisses his cheek)

XTRA HOT

Bree: Now, considering some of the answers I got from you two in the "mild" category, I have to admit, I'm a little nervous here. But we're going to give it a go...

What’s a surefire way to turn on your fiancé?

C: I'm going to keep it somewhat tame. Nibbling on his ears, I can get pretty much anything I want if I'm nibbling on his ears.

E: You can get pretty much anything you want from me anytime.

C: (Shrugs and looks at Bree) It's true.

E: To turn on Casey? Breathe. The woman is insatiable.

C: Only around you, love. (winks) Besides, are you complaining?

E: Not on your life.

Who makes the most noise?

C: I DO (Simultaneously)

E: SHE DOES (Simultaneously)

Both laugh.

Who loves foreplay the most?

C: Oh, God, ME! Ethan is incredibly skilled at it, so.

E: Yeah, but I enjoy doing it, so you can say that we love it equally.

One round or multiple-- Which do you prefer?

C: Hey, if time allows... keep it coming.

E: That's what she said.

(Both laugh)

Best night/sex you’ve ever had with your fiancé?

C: God, that's tough, there have been so many. I'm honestly going to say the night we had sex in the cabin during the storm. (She looks at Ethan who smiles at her) It was the first time after... well, after I almost died... so it was just a greater appreciation. And, although it was fabulous... it just felt like really making love, you know?

E: I do know, and I agree. But, it said best "night" or "sex" so I'm going to say the night you accepted my proposal. That was the best ever.

C: Well, I have to agree with you there, it's just... my mind was in the gutter.

E: (Laughs) If not for the gutter your mind would not have a home, Casey, so that's just fine.

C: He's not wrong.

Morning or night? What’s your favorite place to have sex in?

C: Yes and yes.

E: (Rolls eyes) Night, because normally we don't have to worry about leaving for work after so we can just enjoy each other more. Place, I'm pretty open there, but the hot tub in Hawaii was at least in my top 5.

C: I mean, my yes and yes applies to the time of day, I'm not picky. But as to place, and I know this will be a disappointment, I really am a traditionalist... give me a good bed.

E: As long as you are still amenable to other options.

C: (She shoots him a look)

E: (Chuckles) She's very amenable to other options.

Who dominates in the bedroom?

C: (Looks at Ethan) Do you think people still really buy into that chapter 8 bullshit?

Bree: Chapter 8 bullshit?

C: Oh, yes, there was some gossip blog in Boston a while back, it was called Chapter 8. According to that Ethan was Christian Grey on speed or something.

E: (Ethan laughs) I nearly forgot about that.

C: EVERYONE tries to forget about that dear. But, back to the question, I say we switch it up a bit, but honestly, I prefer it a little more when he does.

E: Ditto.

Casey, what’s your favorite outfit to wear for him? Ethan, what’s your favorite Casey wears?

C: OK, so mine is not so much lingerie. But I have this amazing little black dress, it's too risque to wear to a lot of places, but when I can wear it, I know exactly how to move to give Dr. Ramsey here little "peeks" while we're out in public. It drives him insane every time.

E: Yes, she neglects to mention I bought her the same dress in red, so we have some variety now.

Bree: So would you say that's your favorite too, then?

E: No, we established mine earlier in the interview... the blindfold and the boots.

C: I think I'm going to retire them after this interview.

E: (Chuckles) Not a chance.

What’s your favorite thing your fiancé does in bed?

C: (Blushing) I don't know why I'm so flustered today, it's not like me... but I am just going to say my husband-to-be has an AMAZING tongue and leave it at that. (Grins) Not that all his other things aren't amazing too.

E: Pretty much everything Casey does in bed... or against the windows, or on the desk, or...

C: We get the idea (laughs)

E: As I was saying, everything she does is amazing, but my favorite thing is the way she manages to hold me... always... all night long. Seriously, I don't know how she does it but anytime I wake up her arms are always wrapped around me and it's the best feeling in the world.

C: Oh, I love you.

E: I love you. (Kisses Casey)

C: Now, if you'll excuse us, Bree, after this interview, I know exactly what we are off to do now. (winks)

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[utterlyinevitable]

Hurricane (Part 8)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Rating: T+ Warning: angst Summary: A hurricane is falling over Boston. Edenbrook has been evacuated and some very different doctor’s end up seeking shelter together.  

A/N: The ending is trash. But it’s my trash. We’ve got one more chapter to go and then that’s a wrap on this project! 

________________________________________

Naveen drove the car back to the cabin before parking it on the cobbled drive, the engine shutting off with a quick flick of his key. Still caught in an awkward silence as heavy as the rain clouds above, the trio padded back towards the cabin. Ethan watched Becca out of the corner of his eye, holding a few paces back with Naveen to let her approach the porch first. In the doorway, Sienna was waiting with two bath towels draped over her arms. A wave of relief washed over her petite form as she saw them; her big eyes softening and bottom lip quivering with all the emotions she saved for the worst of outcomes.

“Becca!” Sienna called as she closed the distance between her and Becca, wrapping her soaking wet friend in a hug around a large, plush towel. “Are you okay? What happened?” 

For someone who’s life nearly drifted away with the current earlier, Becca seemed strangely quiet and calm. She didn’t even look at Sienna; darkened eyes trained on her peripheral, towards the unrelenting waters. “I’m fine, Si. Just went for a little swim.”

Sienna looked at her with critical eyes, not believing a single word coming out of her friend’s mouth. She would have said something in any other circumstances, but she was too thankful that Becca was breathing at the minute. This conversation would have to wait. She turned her attention to the other rogue swimmer now coming up behind them, handing him the other towel still draped on her arm.    

“Ethan, are you okay?” she asked the attending, her trained doctor’s eyes scanning him for obvious injuries. 

He took the offered towel gratefully. “Please, there is no need to worry about me.” He wiped his face first then draped the burgundy fabric over his shoulders, shivering as the cold wind caught his wet clothes, “Where’s Jenner?” 

Sienna nodded towards the ajar door, her arms still wrapped securely around her best friend. “In with Elijah.” 

Ethan nodded and went inside to his dog, sparing one last glance towards a despondent Becca on his way. 

With a small, resigned sigh, Sienna turned her full attention back towards her friend and guided her to the door. “Come on, let's get you cleaned up.” 

Sienna led Becca inside and up to her room. Elijah didn’t notice the girls as he was in deep conversation with Ethan in the archway to the den. For that, Becca was thankful; they could just slip upstairs and rest.  

 As soon as the girls reached the threshold of the master suite, Sienna closed the door softly behind them and reached for her friend, her eyes severe now that they were blessed with the privacy they didn’t have earlier. “You okay?” She asked with a concerned hand gripping Becca’s forearm; her tone of voice emitting a firm warning that she would accept the truth and nothing else.

Becca shrugged Sienna off, taking a step back to shed her wet clothes and throwing on her pajamas. Biting her tongue this round, Sienna gathered up the strewn garments into a pile and wrung them out in the bathroom, making a mental note to wash them once the power came back on. Becca didn’t waste a single second before immediately crawling under the covers while Sienna watched with a very careful eye.  

Sensing the stare, Becca sighed heavily. “Si, I’m fine. Truly.” 

Her friend wasn’t convinced. “That’s what you say, but you were literally being ripped down stream, you could have died.” 

“But I didn’t.” 

Light pads of sock-clad feet walked to the bed with private determination and sat on the edge of the mattress, her eyes begging. “Talk to me, please.” - a hand reaching for the top of Becca’s thigh - “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

But Becca wasn’t waving, keeping her gaze on the darkwood bedpost in front of her to avoid Sienna’s concerned one. “That I really need to sleep. I’m exhausted.” 

“Bec-” 

There was a knock at the door, making both ladies tense in place. Sienna reluctantly moved to open it and was met with Dr. Banerji’s warm smile, his medical bag cradled against his hip. 

Ever in dire situations like this one, the senior doctor never seemed to run out of positive energy. He stepped in the room and glided closer to the bed, a comforting smile decorating his lips. “I’ve come to take your temperature and listen to your lungs,” he informed them. “And I’m not taking no for an answer.” 

Becca rolled her eyes, but didn’t argue. She swung her legs off the bed and sat on the edge, letting Naveen inspect her. Thankfully, she only had a few cuts on her hands that were in need of bandaging, most likely inflicted while she fought to hold herself against the current earlier 

“How are you feeling?” he asked as he applied ointment and bandages to her palms.  

“Tired.” 

“As expected,” he nodded. She wasn’t forthcoming, so he made sure to update her on what has been going on downstairs; “Ethan has a gash on his leg. Dr. Greene is stitching him up.” The gossiper in him carefully gauged her reaction while his more romantic side hoped to see something pass along her features, possibly akin to relief, but he was disappointed there was nothing but the tired eyes of a woman who’s been through hell that afternoon. 

She felt his critical gaze searching her. The third one silently scrutinizing the last hour; and it made her blood begin to boil.  

“I didn’t need rescuing. I know how to combat a riptide. What he did was stupid,” she clarified, indifferent to his comment.  

Naveen chuckled and offered her a kind smile, although one that hid a hint of seriousness in it. “We both know exactly why he did it, Becca.”  

Becca scoffed and shook her head, looking away. 

The older doctor sighed and put away his medical tools. He obviously wasn’t going to get anything out of her tonight, and he’d been around this kind of temperament long enough to know when to resign. It was almost comical just how similar she was to his protégé, especially when it came to their ironclad stubbornness. “You’ve been through a lot today, dear. I’m prescribing you some much-needed rest.” 

Becca rolled her eyes.

With a taut smile, Naveen gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder before taking his medical bag and leaving the room.

  While Naveen was with Becca, Sienna had excused herself to make some tea. The petite resident was now staring at the kettle, transfixed, but not actually watching the steam spill out into the shadows of night. The worry for her friend still ever present in her mind and the creases on her forehead. In a daze Sienna poured two two mugs full. 

She was just setting the kettle back down on the hob when a gruff sound had her jumping out of her trance and turning on the balls of her feet.  

“Let me,” Ethan said quietly. 

The two shared the same despondent look, though one of them had a deeper reason for it. 

Sienna’s eyes expertly roved over him. He’d changed into clean pajamas, his hair wild and partially dry from drying it in a towel. His weight being carried on one side of his body, no doubt from his injury. His eyes were dark, and there were prominent purple circles under his eyes. And his large hand was extended towards her, waiting with all the patience of a dying man. 

With a small smile, she hands the mug over without a single reservation. 

And Sienna watches intently as Ethan gingerly makes his way through the cabin and up to Becca. 

 *

In the few short minutes she was left alone Becca snuggled deeper into the blankets. Rolled onto her side so her back was to the door and her face buried in a pillow begging her to spill everything all over. 

Over her tormenting thoughts she recognized the patter of footsteps against the hardwood of the hallway and sniffled all the emotion back. If Sienna saw her crying it’d become a much bigger thing than Becca ever wanted it to be. She’ll save her tears for later. 

When the steps grew louder, crossing the threshold, Becca muttered, “You should just sleep here tonight instead of going up and down to check on me.” 

“Do you think that’s wise?”

Even in the minimal light of the candle on the dresser Ethan could see her stiffen. Could hear the discontented sigh that escaped her when his words met her ears. 

He stood suspended in the doorway, questioning every instinct he thought he knew.    

Becca shifted under the sheets, moving to sit up in bed. 

“Thought you were Sienna.” Her tone was still and level and wildly indifferent as she chanced a look at him.  

“Sorry to disappoint,” he muttered back. Crossing the distance Ethan held out a mug to her; “Are you okay?” 

She took the offering, a forced smile on her lips. “Peachy.” 

“Becca…”

“I’m fine, Ethan.” She groans, deflating. “What do you want me to say?” 

“You can start with why you’ve been upset with me all day.” 

Becca couldn’t help the absolutely indecent chortle that erupted from her. 

“I’m not upset with you. I’m mad at myself.” 

Ethan made a garble akin to Huh?

And that just fueled the fire that’s begun to rage within her the last day and rivals the treacherous storm this hurricane caused. 

“Why did you come after me?” She all but spat the accusation. “It was so reckless and stupid. You could have been hurt. You have stitches for Christ’s sake!” 

“You could have drowned. I wasn’t going to let that happen.” 

The audacity in his unbridled poise had her stirring under the sheets and gripping the mug tighter. 

“Superman Complex already belongs to someone else. Why, Ethan.” 

It was a standoff between them. Him in his dry clothes - white tee and gray sweatpants, standing at the side of her bed. Becca was shielded by the blankets but still sitting tall and commanding for someone of her stature. He couldn’t read her ever-telling body language in the dim light of the master bedroom. All he could make out was her silhouette, rigid and doing all she could to cloak herself behind an unsuccessful curtain of hair.  

Holding onto the sliver of revelation he had earlier, Ethan spoke truthfully. 

“Because I care about you. You have such a fulfilling life ahead an-” 

It certainly didn’t have the intended impact. For she cut him off with a resoundingly offended; 

“Can you stop.” 

His darkened azure eyes were wide with panic. “What -” 

“I’m sick of these mind games.”

Her tone was flat, and that scared Ethan Ramsey more than anything. It would be better if she was yelling. He found himself wishing she was yelling even if he had no inkling as to what this argument is actually about.  

“I know you care about me, Ethan. But is that all this is?” 

She finally looked him in his eyes. The darkness of the room complimented the depths of her darkened irises, and he couldn’t see a single emotion in them. All he could see was all of his failures. 

“I - I’m in too deep with you. I may have almost drowned this afternoon, but it was nothing compared to this choking feeling of swimming in all this doubt and uncertainty.” 

He moved towards her. Placing his mug on the bedside. This close he could just begin to make out the hurt in the creases of her frown. 

“Becca,” he reached for her. His hand suspended in midair, waiting for her permission to cup her cheek. 

Instead, she looked down at her fingers tracing the Edenbrook logo on the pristine white ceramic mug between her palms. 

Ethan waited. 

And waited. 

Frozen in place until she said something, anything. 

“Be honest with me,” the words came out on an exhale. “No one else is around. Just me.” Her voice so frail as she turned her whole form towards him. “Tell me.”

The outstretched fingers on his hand curled inwards. His fist raised -- once, twice punching against an invisible opponent as his inner self weighed all his options.

He could tell her - he could finally be truly honest. 

He could do what’s right. 

He could lay everything out there and let her take the reins. 

More realistically, he could continue to hold onto the values he’d had all his life. 

The longer the silence hung between them, and the pattering of the storm echoed throughout the bedroom walls, the more a reality without her became apparent.

Rebecca Lao is a strong woman - he knows this. And Ethan is ever so aware that she won’t wait for him forever. If her stint today told him anything it’d be that it is he who couldn’t survive a life without her. 

Every millisecond that passed, every slight turn of her head and stroke of her finger against the mug, he knew he was losing her. And for once, Ethan Ramsey - renowned doctor, known for his belligerent voice and affluent vocabulary - couldn’t find the words.  

Just as she let out a disquieting breath, he took the leap. Knees pressed flush against the side of the mattress. Long, deft fingers grazing the quilt at the side of her hip. His eyes never leave her. Becca was looking down as if all hope was lost. As if his silence spoke for him.  

It didn’t - 

“I want to be with you.” 

Becca felt like the air had been stolen from her lungs. How long had she been waiting to hear them? How long has she been hoping Ethan Ramsey would commit to only her with a promise of forever? Far longer than she’d care to admit, that’s for sure. 

Ethan watched her lips part, her jaw slacken. Every pretty feature he adored more than life itself stunned stiff. 

In true fashion Becca schooled her features as soon as his words rang through the mahogany room. Bitter words formed on her tongue, accompanied by a desolate huff, 

“You sure about that?” 

Not a single hesitation as Ethan responded, “Yes.”  

“You sure have some fucked up way of showing it.” She watched him from the corner of her eye, shifting in his place and a rueful tug at the corners of his mouth. 

Ethan kneeled down beside the bed, coming to her level, “I know.” 

This is never how Becca imagined getting Ethan Ramsey down on his knees. All those fantasies didn’t join a near death experience or a fight. 

His palms spread out on the quilt. All of him itching to touch her. If he could touch her, everything would be okay. 

A beat forced itself between them. Ethan staring at his fingers inching towards her above the horrid colored quilt, and Becca looking blankly at the top of his head. 

And then she murmured;  

“I can’t be with you if you’re going to treat me like shit all the time.” 

“It was never my intention. I just want what’s bes-” 

“Best for me, I know. But you don’t get to dictate that. It’s my life, I’m a big girl. I can make my own decisions.” 

He was listening. He was guilty and listening. 

“I want you, Ethan.” 

Those words were like music to his ears - to know she really, truly shared the sentiment. His deep blue gaze flickered up to her; staring at her from under long lashes and hanging on to her every word. This was everything they’ve both wanted - a proper admission of devotion. Then why did she look so sad?  

“But not if you’re going to keep pulling away from me.”  

Ah. There it was. All his faults coming back - his one mistake at abandoning her after she needed him most digging deep.  

“I’m sorry. All of this was to protect you. I’ll always, always protect you.” 

Becca’s heart skipped a beat at the unbridled conviction in his tone against her better judgment.  

“I don’t need a hero, Ethan.” Becca shook her head in kind admonishment. “I want a partner. Someone who will let me make mistakes and just hold me through it at the end of the day.” 

A bolt of lightning cracked in the distance. Their stare on one another so strong, devoted, that she couldn’t see through the clear blue of his irises and deep into his soul the moment the fleeting lightness peered in. 

“Okay,” was all he said.  

He responded quickly and with such fortitude that she couldn’t help but be skeptical. 

Becca rose a brow. 

Ethan moved closer and grabbed her hand, adding a squeeze. 

In a low voice she said, “I want to make the most of the time we have left. If I get a job elsewhere… I don’t want to regret anything.” 

His brows pulled together as this little known fact wormed its way into his rationality. “You’re thinking of leaving Edenbrook?” He held onto her hand just a bit tighter. 

“I don’t know,” she half shrugged. “If…”

He finished the question for her. “Of course you’ll have a job. The spot on my team is yours.” 

“Yeah, I know. But if…” Becca didn’t know how to accurately explain her fears. If they didn’t work out after all this would she still be able to work with him? Would he be able to? What if she received an amazing offer elsewhere. What happens to them if she takes it? 

“Can we not think about this right now.” 

Taking both her cold hands in his, Ethan simply nodded. 

He could feel the scary stirring in the pit of his stomach. Every pang of it subsiding the longer her warmth was within reach. The last of his fears overtaken by the most adorable sound as she stifled a yawn.  

Ethan let go of her hand just long enough to brush some strands back from her face. Un-showered and salty from the day’s events her cheek was still soft under his touch. He leaned up to press the lightest of pecks to her forehead. 

Ethan was less than a few centimeters away from where she wanted him most. One movement and it could all be right and well. Becca brushed her nose against the stubble of his chin, coaxing him downwards. She could feel his grin against her skin as his stubble marked her nose. Every second he didn’t succumb, the tip grew redder and redder. 

Ethan pulled back - too far for a quick descend down to her lips - and Becca almost threw a tempered fist into the mattress. Almost. 

He was looking at her with such reverence it made her whole entire body tingle. Like his stares were the hand of Da Vinci trying to capture her image - immortalize it for the rest of time. Trying desperately to paint this to memory - this moment where everything for them seemed to change for the better. This was the moment Ethan Ramsey knew. 

Becca was mere inches away. One more movement and she would know - know that he is irrevocably her. One more movement and he’d seal their fate. 

Her eyes flickered down to his chapped lips, and this time she didn’t look away. This time there was no enchanting classic playing on the television, just the person before them. This time Ethan was thankful for her focus. He let out the breath he was holding in. Watched her eyelids flutter as the warm gust met her lashes. Leaned in and listened. Listened to the erratic thumping. Thumping of his heart or hers or the hurricane, he didn’t know. 

Didn’t care. Couldn’t give a damn about anything other than her. 

Their lips met. Softly, tenderly. The shortest, most endearing kiss they’ve ever had. Neither wanting to ruin this with overzealous lust.  

They pulled back, unencumbered smiles gracing their features; and then she yawned again. 

Light with strange happiness, Ethan gently pressed her back into pillows. Pulled the covers around her to tuck her in. 

He kissed her chastely once more. Then pulled away. 

Every step he took from her side of the bed had her chiding herself for being so stupid for believing him this time. She wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. 

Ethan moved through the darkness. The raging winds of reality jolted through them, pounding on the expansive windows. Getting louder and more unruly the further he got. 

But then he did something so unexpected. So surprisingly unlike the man she thought she knew. 

He pulled back the covers of the other side of the bed and slipped in. Ethan shifted closer and closer atop the king sized bed until his arm wrapped around her waist, the other snaking under her neck. Becca welcomed him without a single hesitation or ill thought. This is exactly what she hoped for yesterday. 

Ethan had that smile - that one smile reserved only for her - as he dove into the covers with her, never intending to come back up. Their sweet embrace was all the sustenance he needed to survive. In this moment - and all of them to come, he’s sure - he and Becca were the only two people in the universe.

The storm outside was moving miles and miles away. 

________________________________________

A/N: there was meant to be a cute bathtub scene at the end before they went to bed. it required too much effort so it got the axe. oh well! thanks for sticking around <3

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[heauxplesslydevoted]

Deja Vu (Ethan x MC)

Summary: While on their honeymoon, Ethan and Naomi come face to face with a blast from his past.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3k+

A/N: Wow, how has it been almost 4 months since I’ve written for Ethan?? Insanity.

~v~

The Waldorf Astoria all the way in Amsterdam is the last place she ever thought she’d see Ethan Ramsey again. A five star hotel on a different continent should be an escape, but here he is, at the front desk talking to the receptionist without a care in the world.

It’s been 15 years, and not much has changed for him. Older obviously, his hair is graying along the temples, a few wrinkles settling in around his eyes, and he has a beard, a full beard. He looks...good. She’ll even admit to saying he looks great. Terribly so.

What are the odds that they’d both end up in the same place at the same time like this? After all this time passing by? She almost wants to say it’s fate trying to tell her something.

So she takes the plunge and greets him. “Ethan? Ethan Ramsey?”

The sound of his name being called grabs his attention, and he turns around. His eyes widen in shock, and she can see just how blue they are.

Ethan almost feels like he’s looking at a ghost. He hasn’t seen Victoria Sharpe since he was in medical school, not since he saw her with Tobias. And it’s been years since he’s given the moment so much as a passing thought. And now she’s here, in the flesh.

Her dark auburn hair is much shorter than he remembers. When they were younger, it flowed down to her waist, and now it doesn’t even pass her shoulders. She’s wearing glasses, the thick frames hiding her wide green eyes and most of her face, a face that had him entranced back in his twenties.

“Victoria Sharpe.”

Victoria smiles brightly and steps forward to hug Ethan, but his body goes rigid and he takes a step back as if her touch could burn him. She almost goes in for a handshake, but Ethan’s hands stay rooted at his side and he gives her a curt nod instead. She receives the message loud and clear that he doesn’t want to touch her.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!” Victoria says brightly. “How have you been? Last I heard, you were in Boston, right? Under the tutelage of Dr. Naveen Banerji, working on his special diagnostics team.”

“Yeah, I’m still at Edenbrook, er-Bloom Edenbrook, as it goes by these days. I started my residency there and never looked back. But Banerji doesn’t practice anymore, he’s now the chief of the hospital.”

“I spent my residency in Houston, and then I landed in San Francisco, where I’ve been for the past 7 years.”

It’s not information that Ethan was fishing for, nor does he truly care. Not wanting to be terribly rude, Ethan hums, acknowledging the fact that he heard her speak. He doesn’t want to be trapped in an awkward small talk situation with this woman, especially when he has nothing to say.

Victoria frowns. Ethan was always a tough nut to crack, even when they were dating, but there’s an uncomfortable distance between the two of them now, and she doesn’t know how to navigate it.

“Are you in Amsterdam for the AMA conference as well?” Victoria asks. Surely this is the best way to get him to talk: their shared love of medicine. “There’s supposed to be a meeting on hematology hosted by Dr. Arthur Saunders, and  I remember how much you admired him back in our John Hopkins days.”

Ethan’s eyebrow raises in question. He didn’t even know there was supposed to be a conference in Amsterdam. He shakes his head. “No, I’m not here for any conference, I’m here with–”

“Okay, the concierge just gave me the rundown on all of the cool places we have to hit up while we’re here! There’s so many restaurants I want to try.”

Victoria watches as a woman excitedly wraps an arm around Ethan’s waist and hugs him close to her. Whatever cold front he was putting on a mere seconds ago dissipates as he smiles warmly, and drops a kiss onto her forehead.

“We’re only here for a week, darling, please pick the restaurants wisely.”

“Apparently, we have to go to some place called Foodhallen. It’s a one stop-shop for all sorts of goodies.”

“That sounds fun,” Ethan murmurs. “How about we go tonight?”

“I was thinking we should order room service tonight,” Ethan doesn’t miss the way her eyes twinkle as she speaks, “so we don’t have to leave the bedroom.”

“Mhmm, I like that line of thinking.”

It becomes apparent that Ethan has forgotten all about her, his attention now solely on the woman clinging to his side. Victoria clears her throat in an attempt to regain some of the attention. When the couple breaks apart, Victoria looks to Ethan, wondering if he’ll introduce her.

When he makes no effort to do so, the woman at his side thrusts her hand out. “Hi, I’m Naomi.”

Victoria grabs her hand, giving it a firm shake. “Victoria.”

She’s gorgeous, Victoria notices it instantly. Her huge brown eyes are deep and expressive, her long curly hair going past her shoulders. Even with bags under her eyes, the younger woman is a stunner.

“Naomi, this is Dr. Victoria Sharpe. We went to medical school together. Dr. Sharpe, this is my wife, Dr. Naomi Valentine.”

Victoria bristles at the introduction. Given their history, reducing her to any old classmate just seems wrong. They were together for almost two years, for goodness sake. They were attached at the hip, and while the relationship didn’t end well, there’s no need to trivialize who she was to him. But she doesn’t dwell on it for long, because she’s more interested in Naomi’s moniker. Out of all the things Naomi could’ve been introduced as, Ethan’s wife was not what Victoria expected to hear. He got married? But Ethan Ramsey isn’t the marrying type. “Your wife?”

The word sends a pleasant shiver up Ethan’s spine and he smiles warmly. Sure, it’s been a week since they exchanged vows and the newness hasn’t worn off yet, but Ethan still can’t believe it. Naomi is his wife, and he’s obsessed with saying it.

“Yes,” Ethan nods. “That’s what I was saying, we’re not here for a conference, we’re actually here for our honeymoon.”

Victoria’s stomach rolls upon hearing that, but she plasters on a smile, nonetheless. Her cheeks hurt and her shiny white teeth are probably blinding them, but Victoria powers through. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you.” Ethan turns to Naomi, Victoria’s presence already fading from his mind. “While you were off making friends with the concierge, I got us checked into our room. Someone already took up our luggage for us. Are you ready?”

“Am I ready to dive onto a pile of down feathers and pass out for the next few hours? Absolutely.”

Ethan takes her hand, interlocking their fingers. “Then let’s go.”

He barely spares Victoria another glance before turning on his heel and walking away, but Naomi, always more gracious and poised than him, gives Victoria a warm parting smile. “It’s always nice to meet a fellow Hopkins alum. Enjoy your stay, Dr. Sharpe!”

“Thank you,” Victoria replies, even though she’s almost positive they didn’t hear. Ethan is whispering something into Naomi’s ear, and she’s giggling as they walk off.

It takes the newlyweds a few minutes to make it to their room—an 1,100 square-foot suite, because Ethan wasn’t going to subject his bride to anything less than the best—and true to her word, Naomi’s first line of business and falling face first onto their bed. It’s covered in red roses which all splay wildly around her, as she gives them no attention.

“I’m exhausted,” she says, the 10 hour flight getting the best of her. Ethan chuckles and grabs her foot, helping her out of her shoes. They fall onto the soft rug with a thud. “Why didn’t we pick somewhere closer for our honeymoon, like New York? The Hamptons would’ve been lovely this time of the year.”

“You said you wanted to add another stamp to your passport.”

“Well stop listening to me,” Naomi grumbles.

Ethan leans over his new wife and kisses the back of her head. “Famous last words, Valentine.”

Naomi rolls over in order to look Ethan in the eye. “So, the woman we met downstairs. That was the Victoria, right? The one you and Tobias were both after?”

Ethan’s eyes close and his head drops at the question. He knows whatever comes next won’t be all that enjoyable.”

He nods anyway. “That was Victoria, the one I thought I was in a relationship with until Tobias threw his hat in the ring. Then we did the back and forth thing for almost 6 months, before she chose to be with him.”

“I’m sorry,” Naomi replies, a small frown playing on her lips. Sure it was a long time ago, but she hates hearing about anything that has caused Ethan pain.

Ge shrugs. He’s long let go of his anger over that situation and the subsequent fallout. “It’s whatever.”

“No, it’s not whatever,” Naomi argues. “She messed with you, and broke your heart.”

“I survived,” Ethan says. “I haven’t thought about that woman since I mentioned her in passing nearly three years ago, on Leland Bloom’s yacht. She didn’t ruin me for future relationships, I didn’t carry a torch for her, there’s no leftover baggage, no need for closure, nothing. If anything, I look back on that time of my like in annoyance. Annoyed at how I lost years of friendship with Tobias over a woman that neither of us ended up with, and annoyed with myself that I let her hold so much power over me.” 

24 year old Ethan was head over heels for Victoria. He would’ve done any and everything for her. And like a siren leading him to certain death, she wielded that power over him—and Tobias—whenever she saw fit. It took him a long time to realize just how toxic and dysfunctional the love triangle really was, and it’s not something he’s particularly keen on rehashing.

“It’s hard to imagine you letting someone hold power over you.”

“You’ve had power over me since the beginning, Valentine. Mind, body, and soul. But the difference is I yield to you, with no hesitation.”

Naomi smiles. He doesn’t talk much, but when he does, he never fails to take her breath away. “Well lucky for you, I intend on using my superpowers for good.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Naomi grabs a handful of her husband’s shirt and pulls him towards her, though it doesn’t take much effort and he comes willingly. Warmth floods his chest, and just like that, all thoughts of Victoria Sharpe are banished from Ethan’s mind, as all he can focus on is Naomi, the smell of her jasmine perfume filling his nostrils and her lips against his.

“Are you sure you’re okay after seeing her?” Naomi asks after breaking the kiss, her hand gently raking through his beard.

“It was a surprise,” Ethan admits. His gaze slides over Naomi’s sparkling engagement ring. “But I’m in Amsterdam with the love of my life, celebrating my honeymoon, and she is nothing more than a memory. You have my full, undivided attention, now and forevermore.”

“Good. You know what we should d-do?” Her breath hitches as Ethan resumes kissing her, the juncture between her neck and shoulder his new target. His tongue slides over the warm skin, her pulse pounding erratically, and Naomi is sure she’s lost the ability to breathe.

“What?”

“Order a bottle of champagne and break in that super huge shower in the en-suite.”

Ethan is off of her in a flash, his hands never leaving her as he sweeps a giggling Naomi off of the bed and into his arms. “I knew I married you for a reason. You have excellent ideas.”

~v~

The next morning, Victoria spots Naomi in the hotel’s restaurant, sipping on a cup of coffee, reading a magazine. It’s a huge five star hotel, part of Victoria hoped she didn’t have to run into the newly minted Missus Ethan Ramsey for the rest of their duration here.

But the other part of Victoria couldn’t stop her morbid curiosity. Who the hell is Naomi Valentine? And what makes her so special?

She spent the night researching the younger woman. Naomi has private social media accounts, but that didn’t stop her from getting information that is public record. Her profile on the Bloom Edenbrook website says she’s from Washington D.C. and got her BS and MD both from John Hopkins. She found news articles and videos detailing an attempted murder that happened at the hospital a few years ago, involving Naomi, the former senator of Massachusetts, and a few other hospital staff. She poured over research articles written by Naomi and Ethan detailing septic shock, an ailment that nearly killed Dr. Naveen Banerji a few years ago.

Unable to stop herself, Victoria marches over to the table currently occupied by her fellow doctor. Sensing her presence, Naomi looks up, shock flitting across her features. Realizing she must look wild, Naomi smiles at her. “Good morning, Dr. Sharpe.”

��Victoria.”

“Good morning, Victoria.”

“Do you mind if I sit?” Victoria asks, gesturing to the empty seat at the table. Wordlessly, Naomi nods her head. “Thank you.”

Why on earth am I here? Victoria thinks to herself. In what universe is the acceptable or appropriate conduct?

“You’re up early,” Victoria says.

“I was too excited to sleep, despite the jet lag.”

Naomi doesn’t say anything further because there’s no need to. She was perfectly content by herself. If Victoria wants to say something, she’s going to have to open her mouth and do so, because Naomi feels no compelling reason to initiate small talk.

The silence stretches for a long time, with Victoria unable to start the conversation. As the painstaking time stretches on, the urge to get up and run away gets stronger and stronger.

Her eyes settle on Naomi’s engagement ring, an incredibly large princess cut diamond and a simple platinum band on top of it, and she’s reminded of why she’s here in the first place. She’s sitting in front of Ethan Ramsey’s wife.

“I’m sorry, this is just...surreal,” Victoria says.

“What?”

“The Ethan I know doesn’t agree with marriage, so to know that he’s on his honeymoon is weird.”

“I love him, he loves me. He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, simple as that. The Ethan I know and the Ethan you knew are vastly different,” Naomi says, making the deliberate distinction. He’s changed a lot in the past 3 years, let alone the past 15.”

“I just can’t imagine it. Back in school, Ethan’s steadfastness was so intense, it was almost like he had tunnel vision. There was absolutely no room for him to see a grey area or compromise.”

Naomi chuckles humorlessly. It’s good to know that part of Ethan has endured. “He’s still like that sometimes. A lot of times. But I argue him down, and it’s been like that since the day we met. I don’t think he was used to it, but I force him to think outside the box. He grounds me when its time to color inside the lines again.”

“Good for you.”

They fall into silence again, though this stretch is a bit more comfortable than the last. 

Naomi takes a sip of coffee before clearing her throat. “Can I ask you something?”

“Ask away.”

“How did things end between you and Ethan?”

“Oh, I’m sure he’s given you all of the gritty details.”

“He hasn’t, actually. I only know the bare minimum.”

Victoria’s face flushes, cheeks turning pink as she thinks back on her relationships with both Ethan and Tobias. “Ethan asked me out during our second year of medical school. He and I...we were good, when we were good. Dating him was fun, he had a confidence about him that choked a room, he was great in bed,” and now it’s Naomi’s turn to flush, and she tilts her head slightly, not knowing how to respond to that. Is she supposed to say something snarky? Laugh and agree? “I’m sorry, that was so inappropriate of me.”

“Apology accepted.”

“While what we had was fun, I was convinced that it was meant to be a fling, something that was going to fizzle out eventually. He never said it aloud, but I know Ethan was in much deeper than I, but we were at a standstill. Then Tobias told me he was interested. I should’ve shut him. And I should’ve told Ethan that our relationship had run its course, but I didn’t. They were at the top of their class, poised to be two of the greatest doctors of our generation, they were extremely gorgeous, and they wanted me.”

Victoria sighs heavily. “I was fully aware of what I was doing, but I didn’t care. You can’t imagine the power trip I was on. I had them wrapped around my pinky finger, if I said jump, they were already 5 feet in the air. I was a young woman in my 20s, I was having more fun than I knew how to handle. I played them like fiddles against each other because I knew I could. I would get away with it. And then Ethan issued an ultimatum, saying I had a decision to make, because he was tired of sharing me. I decided to pick Tobias. He was so charismatic, fun, and easygoing. I was able to justify things because like I said, I couldn’t continue having a real relationship with Ethan. He was vehemently against marriage, like, would go on. He didn’t want children. He wasn’t made for the life I wanted to carve out for the life I wanted to have.”’

Victoria’s nails dig into her palm as she tries to breathe. Had she misjudged the entire situation? If she stuck around and not pulled both men into a love triangle, could she be the one in Naomi’s shoes, wearing a ring the size of the moon on her finger, living happily ever after?

“I’m not particularly proud of my med school days,” Victoria continues. “It was selfish and callous, and I’m sure Ethan probably hates me.”

“He doesn’t,” Naomi insists, with a shake of her head. “So don’t go around holding onto any guilt. Just...learn from it and do your best.”

Victoria locks eyes with Naomi. She wants to dislike her, so much so. If Naomi is horrible, it’d soothe some of the ache in her chest, and she could continue on believing that what she did to Ethan didn’t matter. But she can’t. By all accounts, Naomi Valentine is…impressive. Smart as a whip, gorgeous, and highly accomplished for someone who’s only been a doctor for around 4 years. And the fact that she’s even giving Victoria the time of day proves that she’s a decent person.

“There you are!”

The hairs on Victoria’s neck stand up as she hears Ethan’s voice from behind. She sees him out of her peripheral as he glides to Naomi, either not noticing her presence at the table or choosing to ignore it.

“I needed caffeine,” Naomi replies, craning her neck to greet Ethan with a kiss. “And I decided to let you sleep in.”

“Thank you.”

Victoria averts her gaze. It feels like she’s intruding on a rather intimate moment, and she doesn’t want to interrupt.

When they break away is when Ethan finally spares a glance her way. His eyes go wide, and yeah, that’s confirmation enough that he didn’t notice her.

“Dr. Sharpe,” he exhales deeply through his nose. “I didn’t know you were here.” His eyes flicker over to Naomi and his hackles go up, defensive and ready to strike at any given moment.

Victoria notices it instantly, his protectiveness over Naomi. Her stomach twists uncomfortably. She couldn’t really blame him, their previous relationship ended on a sour note and didn’t inspire any trust within the man.

Before she can open her mouth to explain, Naomi jumps in. “We were just having some old fashioned girl chat,” she says smoothly, touching her husband’s hand, and he does relax a little bit at the contact.

“I’ve taken up too much of your time,” Victoria announces. She stands up. “Thank you for entertaining an old lady.”

“You’re not old, and it’s no problem,” Naomi shoots back. She stands up as well, finishing the rest of her coffee as she does so. “Enjoy the rest of your time here.”

“You as well.”

Victoria watches as Ethan pulls out his wallet. He tosses a few bills onto the table, paying for Naomi’s drink as well as a generous tip. “Are you ready to go?”

“Always.” Naomi slips her arm around Ethan. Come on handsome, we have some obnoxious tourist-y activities to do.”

Before they walk off, Naomi gives Victoria one more glance. Both women nod at each other, silently saying goodbye. Once they’re out of the restaurant, Ethan garners her attention. “What was that about?”

“Nothing. She just wanted to meet the amazing woman who managed to lock down the elusive commitment-phone known as Ethan Ramsey.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“Our story isn’t really her business, I said you’ve grown and we love each other, and we wanted to get married. And then she gave me her version of your relationship.” He doesn’t respond to that, but Naomi does hear him scoff slightly. “Do you want to know what she told me?”

“No.”

That’s a shock. If the roles were reversed, Naomi would covet every single detail. “No?”

“No.” Ethan stops walking and Naomi follows suit. He turns, looking her in the eye. “I meant what I said to you yesterday. I don’t need any sort of closure from that chapter of my life. You, Naomi Marie Ramsey, are the only woman in my life that I care about.”

Even though she hasn’t made any sort of effort to change her name, she still giggles at being called Ramsey. Surging forward, she captures his lips in a kiss. It doesn’t take Ethan long to respond, his hand traveling to the small of her back, holding her close.

Too soon for her liking, Ethan breaks apart from her, resting his forehead on hers. “You know, if you want to actually explore anything other than the four walls of our suite, I suggest we put this on pause. You wanted to do some exploring, last I heard.”

“You’re right,” Naomi relents, pecking him on the lips once more for good measure. “Now let’s go shopping, Dr. Ramsey. I didn’t marry rich for nothing.”

~v~

Tags: @mercury84choices @mvalentine @sizzlingcashherohumanoid @choicesaddict5 @professorkingslay @nikki-2406 @maurine07 @aka-calliope @edgiestwinter @brycesgirl @akshara16 @bluebellot @whimsicallywayward15 @honeyandsunfl0wers @blossomanarchy @takemyopenheart @jamespotterthefirst @fanmantrashcan @whatchique @ao719 @x-kyne-x @colourmeshy @paulfwesley @the-pale-goddess @writinghereandthere @ramseyandrys @perriewinklenerdie @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @hatescapsicum @lapisreviewsstuff @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramseyx @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @my-heart-beats-for-ya @adrian-motherfucking-raines @riverrune @edith-eggs1 @thatysn @bellcat2010 @blainehellyes @cecilecontrera @junehiratas @choices-love-affair @openheart12 @caseyvalentineramsey @desmaranj @nazario-sayeed @aestheticartsx @ruinedbypixels @nooruleman @rookie-ramsey

[coffeeheartaddict2]

Everybody hurts sometimes (17/18)

Second chance

Book: Open Heart (AU)

Characters: Ethan Ramsey, F!MC Casey Valentine, Tobias Carrick, Alan Ramsey, Naveen Banerji

Warnings: mentions of abandonment and unhealthy coping mechanisms

****Trigger warning- this series deals with issues of abandonment and addiction****

Category: fluffy Angst

Rating: Mature

Word count:1944

Summary: Ethan starts his journey to heal at rehab, it is confronting, it is hard, but therapy gives new perspective on things and how he has lived his life.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry

Authors note: For those who have endured this marathon of angst, the end is near. We will get the happy ending I promised you ok, no more Casey sleeping with Tobias, no more break ups, just a road ro recovery with lots of people who love Ethan. The initial ask was about how things would be different if he did not pursue Louise or hear her out. It took awhile to get to that ask but I wanted to show what Ethan nearly lost and that when I conceptualized the series required a lot of groundwork. Thank you for your support and comments and not hopping on a plane to come and kill me.

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

Three days after being brought to Mass Kenmore Ethan Jonah Ramsey was discharged and made his way to Willow Hill rehabilitation centre. Everyone was surprised that he took the rehabilitation option but Ethan said to them, he wanted to do this right, I am well aware of what I nearly lost, I know it will be hard and I do not want any temptation around me if there is a tough session.

Naveen drove him to the centre.

“I am so sorry Naveen.”

“I am sorry too, I could see you were not coping but I left it, there were no errors in judgment with patient care, your interactions with staff were the same…”

“Would I have been receptive though?”

“That is exactly what Tobias said on the ambulance ride over.” Naveen sighed. “He is hopeful of reconciliation with you, did you know?”

“I am well aware, yes.” Ethan looked out the window, contemplating everything. They arrive at the centre and Naveen gets him all checked in. Naveen states he will only come when requested and wishes him well in his journey.

His first session was the next day. He gave the abridged version of how he got here. How his mother left him and Alan with no warning when he was eleven, the assumption and anger that he felt when he thought that he was the reason why she left. How he had kept everyone at a distance, Tobias, Estelle, Casey, how Louise out of the blue contacted Alan, her showing up at Edenbrook and the downfall that stemmed from him not talking to her. Ethan felt a little lighter but even he knew that there was much to unpack with the abridged version. He was asked what he hoped to get of of his stay.

“I want to heal, not only myself but to repair the relationships that I have damaged.” The therapist liked that answer very much. He went through the schedule. The therapist asked if Alan or any of his other friends. Ethan was amenable to this.

The therapy schedule was rigorous and confronting and Ethan felt vindicated for choosing rehab. Both Naveen and Alan came to visit after two weeks. Both men were happy to see progress. Ethan stated the biggest thing was coming to grips that he had lied to himself for 25 years. Alan was philosophical, stating he had his reasons to believe what he believed, especially when there was little evidence to believe otherwise. Ethan was apologetic for all the pain that he had caused both of them, especially Alan. Both men were happy that he was confronting the demons of his past. Surprisingly Ethan was not missing alcohol. He brought it up in a group session initially. He was not surprised that he was in the minority and it lead him to speak to his therapist one on one. Him and his therapist discussed why he drank initially and he realized he used it as a way of escaping. Bad day? Have a scotch. Want to ignore something, have a drink. Even the times he drank outside of parties in college was to escape the pain. Even drinking after Casey had gone to sleep was to dull the pain due to feeling like he was unable to say I love you to her.

Ten days after the revelation, Tobias came out for a visit. He was happy to see Ethan doing well. He told Tobias of his breakthrough and how in discovering why he drank, felt like no better person than his mother. Tobias reminded him that unlike his mother, he did not completely wallow, yes you pushed away and just about drunk yourself into oblivion but you hit the bottom and coming out the other side. Also despite everything you have had a good life by societal standards.”

Ethan thought on that, “it just meant I have the means to get help.”

“If you had spoken to her when she first came to Edenbrook, would you have helped her?”

“Maybe, I do not know. When you came to visit me after kissing Casey I think I was coming around albeit slowly, I was given a note, I read it several hours after I came to Mass K, That is when I lost it more.”

“There is a difference between reading it and hearing it for yourself though.”

Ethan nodded, “how is Casey?”

“Busy, boards are fast approaching, so she is studying hard, she is nervous but I think she will do well.” Tobias breathed. “What is the latest with you both?”

“She wants to get back together and work things out, we both wanted me to be a bit more on the journey.”

Tobias was happy to hear this.

“I am sorry too, for all I have done.”

“Medical school was on me too…”

“I know that, but that night I was a mess of emotion, and you come in, saying you heard we split, I was angry…”

“Rightly so Ethan, she gave me no reason to think otherwise but I should not have detoured, or even called her other friends.” Tobias took a deep breath, “you are the brother I wish I had, our friendship ending hurt me too but as you said when we met after you launched Diagnostic Principles, you still felt you could not trust me and if you did not feel that you could then we agreed to go our separate ways. That hurt too, I might add.”

“I was saddened too, I know we bonded over good coffee, what we wanted in our careers but the clincher was you like me were from a broken home and you had nothing to do with one parent. That was something I never had, the circumstances were different for both of us but still the same outcome.”

“Same on my side too, I am just glad that I was able to rebuild some trust eventually, despite what happened with me and Casey.”

Ethan nodded. “Unlike med school though, you knew for sure where things stood and as you said, the incidents occurred over highly emotional times.”

“That is true and when the numbness wore off, she felt horrible, actually apologized for using me as an emotional punching bag which is how she felt with you towards the end.”

“I know I flew off my handle when I saw you talking that day at Kenmore…”

“We can both argue your rational side had gone missing there Ethan and given our history, it was not a huge leap to make.”

“I know but I still knew it was different from medical school,I think because I knew I pushed her away like everybody else…”

Ethan starts to cry and Tobias lets him cry. When he appears more calm, Tobias said

“You did push, I will agree with you but you pushed because you felt unloved and unable to love which I know is not true, even now, on this hell of an emotional journey the fact that you do love her has not changed and I know she still loves you. I know you have for a long time felt unworthy of love but all this time you have gained so much love, Naveen, Casey, myself.

Ethan realized that Tobias was right, there was a lot of love in his life and they were people who chose to love him.

“I am glad we are becoming friends again, Tobias.”

“Me too, Ethan, me too.”

Ethan stayed a month at Willow Hill and went as an outpatient for another two weeks, to help him transition back into the real world. He researched therapists for when he was out and he found one who specialized in what he was going through and was not affiliated with a hospital. When Ethan came out he saw Naveen. Coming back to work was the main topic. Naveen was happy with the progress made and was happy for him to come back part time.

A week after release Ethan met up with Casey for lunch. Casey was happy to see Ethan and was impressed with how far he had come.

“I am sorry for pushing you away so much. It is still disconcerting that I knew at the time that I loved you but not feeling as though I could express it.”

“It was a shock to you Ethan, I know you had your reasons for not talking to her and in a way I felt bad for enabling you in that…”

“You had your reasons, you saw the distance I was putting on people who said I should…” Ethan took a breath. “Thank you for giving her comfort in her final days.”

“She enjoyed hearing about you, especially from Tobias, she had fond memories of you being mischievous and she was happy to hear that you still retained some of that. I never read the note but I knew she was writing it but I know she was proud of the man you had become, even though she did not get the chance to say it in person.”

“She said in her note the reason she went through Alan is because she thought I would not give her the time of day if she reached out to me directly…”

“At least you knew why she left.”

“Yeah, I do not know if I would have spiraled so much if I had heard her out…”

“We never will Ethan.” Said Casey as she reached out to touch his hand. Ethan turned his hand upwards and entwined his fingers amongst hers.

“I feel like a horrible friend,” admitted Casey. “Excluding what happened between myself and Tobias, I never saw you after we split up and I know we said before you went to rehab we would discuss us after but I did not come and see you and I know we emailed…”

“I know it is not the same but I know you are two months out from boards, that is rightly your focus and I had a lot to unpack at rehab, not just us. All I do know is that despite everything I still love you so much and I want to give us another try, if you are willing.”

“Casey smiled, “I still love you too.”

They finish their meal and Ethan walks her back to her apartment. He kisses her gently and Casey returns the kiss. “I really want us to work this time Casey.”

“Me too”

He kisses her again and she goes inside. Both relieved that they had taken the first step to repairing their relationship.

That night, after doing some self reflection and journaling, came to realize just how bittersweet Boston had become. Sure he had built a career and a chosen family but the ghosts of what he nearly lost were all to clear. Even at Edenbrook, the ghosts of the attack were still there and even in the now used wing he saw the ghosts of an unwell Naveen. He still steered clear from alcohol but his did start to wonder, what was next for his career? He went to his desk and saw all the journaling he had done, he thought about writing a memoir of his spiral and recovery. He then emailed his publisher with his thoughts. Happy to have that done he went to bed, he messaged Casey good night. His phone rang. “Good night Ethan, I am looking forward to being in a place where I am staying over with you.”

“Me too Casey, me too. I love you.”

“I love you too Ethan.”

Ethan went to sleep, hopeful of a future he very nearly threw away.

——-

Authors note: a little bittersweet this chapter, but you can taste the happy ending right?????

One more chapter, it will encompass boards and a little after then do a small time jump, just over a year.

For those who have endured, again thank you

Tagging: @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @genevievemd @youlookappropriate @cariantha @alj4890 @crazy-loca-blog @bex-la-get @a-crepusculo @ofmischiefandmedicine @lucy-268 @binny1985 @schnitzelbutterfingers @trappedinfanfiction @potionsprefect @liaromancewriter @socalwriterbee

@choicesficwriterscreations

@openheartfanfics

[terrm9]

Father’s Day

Ethan makes sure to celebrate the Father’s Day with his daughter. (Ethan X Chiara X Matilda)

Words count: 4 000

Warnings: two swear words, fluff

Author’s note: I don’t know what happened here guys. I am so sorry, this fic lacks plot and point, depth, quality, this truly is one fluffy piece of shit. I had a good feeling about it when the idea appeared in my brain and then I started to write and nothing seemed right. And I just kept telling myself ‘just keep writing and it will start making sense. It will get better’... and suddenly the fic is finished and it still doesn’t make sense. I was so close to not posting it, but then I thought that sometimes mindless fluff can make my mood better and so maybe it can do some good to you too. Love you all and I promise I won’t be angry or hurt if you hate this:D

Also Ethan is ~47 in this fic, if you thought I wouldn't mention his graying hair, I am sorry but I did

Also also, I didn't find the strength needed for a proof reading this and so I didn't proof read it. If you see a mistake, please pretend you don't see it

The sun was long set at the time Ethan stepped into the apartment and even though he rationally knew that it was late, he couldn’t quite give up on his hope that maybe Matilda was still up. On the days like this, when more patients came in than out of the hospital and there was so much of a paperwork that he has to bring it home with him, there is nothing Ethan loved more than to put his daughter to sleep and then spend a nice quiet evening with Chiara.

But of course, Matilda was fast asleep – judging by the silence filling the whole apartment – and so Ethan was looking forward to skipping to the part of sharing an evening with his wife.

Chiara didn’t notice him as he stepped into the living room, her nose slightly crinkled as she was filling some papers spread on the dining table, white earpods in her ears.

Looks like I am not the only one to bring work home with me today.

Ethan stopped in his tracks for a moment, just inhaling the familiar scent of Chiara and home and absorbing the picture in front of him. Even after alsmot ten years since he met her for the first time, even though she was his wife now, someone he woke up next to every morning, Chiara still – always – managed to knock the air out of his lungs. How her smile only gained more brightness through the years and how she looked almost like a girl with her hair braided on one side.

Had he been an artist, he would call her his muse.

But he was just a man, a doctor with any artistic words stuck in his throat and so he just kept staring at Chiara and thought, inspiration, that’s what she was, because even the most rational of men could get inspired.

„I can feel you standing there,“ Chiara exclaimed suddenly, putting the earpods off and turning to him with that bright smile.

„My apologies,“ he smiled faintly and crossed the distance between them to give her, what Chiara called ‚a proper greeting‘. He kissed her softly and it only took the feeling of Chiara’s warm body under his hands to ease the tension in him almost completely.

„Matilda missed you tonight,“ Chiara murmured into his chest, not willing to break their embrance.

„As I missed her,“ Ethan sighed. „Did you have an eventful afternoon?“

Chiara chuckled at that, parting from him at last to switch her phone off and leave the work on the dining table.

„Just the usual. The teacher asked them to draw themselves in the future and she couldn’t decide which version of that future she should draw because she wants to be everything.“

Ethan could imagine the conversation very well. Matilda, at the age of five, knew exactly what she didn't want to become when she grows up - a doctor. She kept shifting between wishing to be a travel blogger like her aunt Kyra or a photographer like aunt Alicia. After a weekend spent in Providence, she proclaimed that she could also imagine being a cable repairwoman like grandpa, because grandpa has the coolest coworkers that came over and let her eat chocolate cookies and watch football with them. And if by any unfortunate coincidence she should become a doctor after all, she would definitely be a surgeon like uncle Bryce, because he actually cuts people and that's much more interesting than her parents' job. All they do is talk about the patients.

„I promised her you would take her to school tomorrow. You have rounds in the morning but I can taker over,“ which would only be a service for you, she thought to herself. „That would certainly make her feel better.“

„Was she that sad that I didn’t come home earlier?“

"Oh, she was more sad about the Father's Day program at her school – you know, the one where kids and their dads go together - but I explained her why you had to miss it."

Ethan furrowed his brows, confused for a while.

"Why do I have to miss it?" he asked as he picked Matilda's stuffed llama from the floor.

"It's the Wednesday when you are at the conference in Seattle."

Ethan put the toy on the couch next to Til's favourite blanket and sat down before responding, his voice carrying no sign of hesitation.

"If there's a Father's Day program at her school and she wants me to be there, I'll be there."

Ethan knew all too well why he was so persistent on being there.

He wished he didn’t know, but he did.

Because he knew what it felt like to spend so many of his Mother’s Days programms with his teeth gritted, wishing it could all just end.

He could still remember the first Mother’s Day without Luise, how his teacher walked into the class and told them that they would create nice postcards for their moms and how Ethan’s classmate pointed his finger at him and said: „And what is Ramsey going to do? It’s not fair that he doesn’t need to do anything for the whole hour.“

It was the first time Ethan punched someone.

There was no way, no way, that he would allow his daughter to feel any of those feelings.

His thoughts were interrupted by Chiara, now sitting right next to him, a soft concern visible on her features.

„Alan and Naveen would go with her, you know. She wouldn’t be alone.“

„I am her father.“

„And you are also an author of the study this whole conference is going to be about.“

Ethan knew Chiara was right, just as he knew that she was doing this not because she didn’t want him to attend the programm, rather because she respected and supported his career.

But her arguments were of no use. Ethan’s mind was made up and he only wondered if this is what it felt like, all those years ago, when he pushed Chiara away in order to support her career. The idea of putting career first was making him uncomfortable and all he could do was to think, how did Chiara see it all those years ago?

Or rather, how did he not see it back then?

He had no answers, only his gratitude that she stayed and showed him the world through her eyes.

„Aurora is just as much of an author as me. She can handle the conference without me just fine. You can go with her.“

„Me?“ Chiara asked incredulously.

„Sure. They don’t really care which Dr. Ramsey will come.“

Ethan aged well. More wrinkles circled the corners of his eyes and the grey hair on his temples were not an optical illusion anymore (and Chiara has never found him more handsome than now) and his gaze changed too, the cold blue of his eyes almost forgotten, as his eyes were warm and soft almost all the time he was with his family.

Ethan aged and changed and yet there was a thing that didn’t change in the slightest in these last years. His insufferable stubborness.

And so Chiara knew that he won’t change his mind and that there was no point in trying to and while it warmed her heart to see how in love with Matilda Ethan was, the study was important to him.

Obviously not important enough, however, and Chiara decided not to push him any further. Instead, she asked curiously.

„And what are you going to perform? What if Matilda wants to do something crazy?" Chiara raised an eyebrow.

"Of course she won't want anything crazy. What if it were my father and Naveen taking her?"

Chiara laughed wholeheartedly at his question, because for someone so brilliant, sometimes Ethan was desperately clueless when it came to people around him - and what they were willing to do for their daughter.

"Please, this is Naveen and Alan you are talking about. Matilda could say she wants to sing Hakuna Matata and they would come dressed as Timon and Pumba."

"Ah," Ethan exhaled, obviously only now realizing that Chiara was, indeed, right. And singing - or dancing, for God's sake - was not part of his plan. "Well, she can play some basic compound on the piano, she has learned some already. And I could accompany her on the cello."

Chiara choked on the water she was just drinking, turning to look at Ethan so swiftly, his brows furrowed in a concern for her neck.

"On a what now?"

“A cello. I thought you knew that I used to play the cello as a kid.”

“Of course, but the as a kid part is important. I mean, I played a piano as a kid and now I couldn’t play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star if my life depended on it.”

Ethan laughed, wrapping his arm around Chiara in a half-hug and had to bite his tongue not to tell her that maybe Matilda could teach her, as she already could play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star exceptionally well.

“I might have stopped playing actively when I was ten, but I found a certain sense of serenity in music – and playing – for a long time after that. I-,” Ethan stopped himself, mulling over his next words. It was not like he didn’t want to tell Chiara anything, but talking about his years at med school was not something he did often. “I befriended a music shop’s owner back in Baltimore. He was a nice guy, barely older than me and so very different. He had musical instruments for sale there and as we became closer, he let me borrow the cello and play a little in the back of the shop. It became a thing that helped me clear my head when school became too stressful and it also helped me not to forget how to play. I think Matilda’s level on the piano is very close to what I can remember with the cello.”

Now all he had to do was to find someone who would borrow him the cello.

*** *** ***

Ethan always found it amusing, how his mornings with Matilda differed compared to Matilda’s mornings with Chiara.

He made sure to wake her up earlier than usual, so that they could cook breakfast together and have some time to spare.

Chiara – the person that hated mornings more than eggplants – did all she could to stay in bed for as long as possible. She would rather prepare Matilda’s breakfast in the evening and run to the school than wake up before 6 AM.

And it seemed like Matilda realized this difference quite soon, for all the times Ethan came to wake her up, she knew she could ask him to join her in bed for a few minutes.

"Hey, little Rookie," Ethan whispered, softly stroking Matilda's curls out of her forehead so that he could press a gentle kiss on it. "Time to wake up. We don't want to be late for school."

The little Rookie nickname was first used when Til was perhaps one year old and it made her giggle so hard Ethan kept using it. Chiara found it extremely funny, always pointing out that Matilda was nothing if not Ethan’s exact copy – and she was right. With her big blue eyes and long curly dark hair, there was no doubt that she was Ethan’s daughter. Not that the similarities ended in her physical appearence – she was phenomenally subborn for a five year old (to which Ethan always argued that she could as well inherit that from Chiara) and sarcasm was her second language. She also might have used ‚fuck‘ once or twice and Ethan knew it’s not Chiara she heard that from.

You should call her little Terminator, Chiara always teased and partly, she was right.

But there were many traits and marks of Chiara in their daughter, marks not so visible but unmistakely hers. How Matilda’s smile was always bright and warm and sincere, something only Chiara could pass on. How she came home one day from school and asked Ethan if he could make cupcakes with her, because her classmate loves cupcakes but his parents are too busy to make them for him and so she would love to bring him some to school. How she appreciated the most common of things, like sun shining because it makes her skin warm and also rain falling because she can jump in the puddles. Her genuine curiosity and open heart and just her general need to make people around her feel good.

That was all Chiara’s mark and Ethan loved his two girls so much it sometimes still surprised him. That he was capable of such love.

It also made him want more sometimes. More people to love that much.

„Snuggle time, please?“ Matilda smiled, her eyes still closed and Ethan was prepared, he knew this request would come and so he didn’t even need to check the watch to know that he could lay down next to her, the tiny bed making his position rather awkward.

He snuggled Matilda from behind and between her slow stirs as she began to wake up and his soft kisses put on the back of her head, he whispered how excited he was to attend the Father’s Day program with her.

*** *** ***

Ethan didn’t even need to try hard to persuade Matilda that a piano-cello duet would be better to perform than a dance. She liked the idea from the beginning and after going through her music sheets with Chiara, she happily exclaimed that they could try to learn Hedwig’s Theme together. Her eyes were bright and full of excitement and Ethan knew the decision was already made, because he couldn’t resist that face.

And so they performed and for a girl who was five and her father, who was almost fifty, they did a great job. Seeing Matilda’s pure, unadultered joy and excitement and so much gratitude that her dad could be there with here, was something Ethan would consider one of the best moments of his life forever.

Tillie was almost jumping up and down with the happiness as they watched her classmates and their fathers or grandfathers or mothers in some cases or maybe even uncles perform their numbers. She was clapping hard after every single one and she kept waving at everyone, her smile so wide Ethan thought for a while that she resembled Bryce more than anyone. The thought made him chuckle, because Matilda would love to hear that, as Bryce was her hero and possibly the best person she could spend her sleepovers at.

Ethan could hardly say that he enjoyed being surrounded by so many people, but he sincerely did enjoy spending the day with his kid. He didn’t regret choosing making a fool out of himself in front of bunch of kids instead of the conference. He almost forgot about the conference altogether until Aurora’s call interrupted the bustle full of laughter around them.

She only called him to let him know that all went well and she was off to have a lunch with other diagnosticians that helped with the study.

"Yes, alright. I'll see you on Monday. Good job, Aurora," Ethan put the phone back into his pocket and turned to Matilda.

"I am sorry you missed the conference because of me, dad."

Ethan knelt down so that he could face his daughter, the very same blue eyes he knew from mirrors, looking back at him, wide and curious.

He smiled softly, kissing Matilda's forehead before responding.

"I am not. No conference is that important, and just between the two of us," Ethan lowered his voice and put his best serious face on, causing the mischievous sparks ignite in Tillie's eyes "Conferences are so boring. You saved me from a torture."

She giggled and threw her arms around Ethan's neck, squeezing him as hard as a five years old could.

"Now let's go, I think there's an ice cream that needs to be eaten."

"But daddy you said ice creams are sugar bomb!"

Ethan chuckled at her shocked expression - not sure is it was a genuine one or an act - and took her little hand into his.

"I'll pretend I don't see you eating it."

Matilda squealed and before her ‚no sugar in this house‘ dad could change his mind, she stormed off in the direction of the ice cream truck.

Before she could reach her destination, however, she stopped in her tracks and tugged on Ethan’s sleeve, pointing at the little girl sitting under one of the trees – alone.

„That’s Dorothy! She is my best friend.“

Yes, Ethan remembered Matilda mentioning Dorsey, her best friend, quite often, but he never got a chance to meet her before. The girl was tiny, much smaller than Matilda – which inherited Ethan’s significant height, too – her hair almost white and her eyes similar to Matilda’s, big and blue but not even close to being as bright.

„She doesn’t have a dad,“ Matilda added, her voice much less excited now. „She didn’t want to come here but her mom has to be at work.“

Ethan’s heart tightened at her words, the description of Dorothy’s situation reminding him of his own when he was a kid way too much.

„Why don’t you go and ask her to join us for an ice cream?“ Ethan smiled at Matilda faintly.

Before he could as much as blink, Matilda was gone and in the very next moment, both girls were back, smiling up at him, his own kid widely and Dorothy very shyly.

„Hello, Dorothy,“ Ethan knelt down and smiled at her encouragingly. „I am Ethan. It is my pleasure to meet you, Matilda talks about you a lot.“

„Hello,“ Dorothy muttered, not meeting his eyes and Ethan noticed she was holding Matilda’s hand.

Without any other word, he stood up and led both girls to find an ice cream truck, only half-listening to what they were talking about – enough to recognize that Dorothy was much more open when talking to Matilda, but not enough to register particular words.

Maybe that’s why Matilda’s next question took him off the guard.

„Right, daddy? I was just telling Dorsey that you could be her dad, right? And I would be her sister!“

Ethan’s eyes widened and before he could find the right words – gentle but also firm enough to explain that that’s not exactly how these things work, Matilda spoke again.

„She could come over anytime and we could have sleepovers like the ones I have with uncle Bryce or grandpa and we would play together and I could borrow her my toys, right?“

Ethan nodded and smiled, of course Dorothy is always welcome to stay at our place, and let the topic go, because there was nothing wrong about his daughter having best friend that would come over.

Thirty minutes later, all three of them sat at the grass and ate their ice creams and it was easy to forget the previous converstaions.

*** *** ***

Until he came into his office, a week after the Father’s Day and found Chiara waiting for him, her arms crossed at her chest and her expression unusually stoic.

Before he could ask what was wrong, Chiara spoke.

„Matilda’s teacher just called.“

„What?“ Ethan stepped closer, automatically reaching into his pocket to make sure his phone, wallet and car keys are there and he is ready to leave and pick up Matilda at any moment. „Is something wrong? Is she in trouble? Sick?“

„She is absolutely alright,“ Chiara shook her head sligthly, her face unreadable – something that scared Ethan more than her visible anger. „She just called me to let me know about the rumors going around Matilda’s class these past few days. She thought it would be better if I found out from her rather than from other parents.“

„Rumors?“ Ethan asked, utterly lost and confused.

It took all the willpower Chiara had not to let her facade slip and keep her expression neutral. But teasing Ethan was one of her main hobbies, even after ten years, and so she tried her best.

„Apparently, Matilda and Dorothy Wilkins told everyone that they are in fact sisters. They have different mommies but the same dad – no other than the famous Dr. Ramsey,“ now, it was really hard not to laugh. Ethan’s whole face paled and the confusion was quickly replaced by recognition. „The other kids shared the news with their parents and now those parents talk.“

Ethan didn’t know that Matilda told Chiara about her idea of Ethan becoming Dorothy’s dad the very same evening she shared it with Ethan himself and even though Chiara tried to explain why that idea is not going to work the way the wished it would, Matilda was stubborn. Meaning, Matilda adopted Dorothy as her sister anyway and didn’t mind sharing her dad with her.

„Fuck,“ Ethan whispered, pacing around the office, not really looking up at Chiara.

If he did, he would catch her grinning.

She cleared her throat quickly and added: „Some of the parents came to tell the poor teacher that they appreciate how civil the mothers of Matilda and Dorothy are about the whole thing and that it must’ve taken much strength of our spirits to put out kids into same school.“

She couldn’t anymore. The first chuckle escaped her and when Ethan’s eyes met hers, the mischievous sparks were dancing on full display in her irises, her smile wide and so amused.

Ethan exhaled a sigh full of relief and rolled his eyes and when he looked at Chiara again, she was laughing softly, badly trying to cover her laugh with the hand over her mouth.

The bizarreness of the whole situation and his wife’s reaction made Ethan laugh too and he slumped down on the couch, pulling Chiara with him.

„We should give some kind of explanation, right?“ he whispered when they both calmed down.

„Oh, I don’t know. I am the civil one,“ Chiara smirked smugly. „And with a strong spirit!“

Ethan laughed again at that, thinking about how any kind of rumors about him and Chiara startled him in the beginning of their relationship and how over the years, Chiara managed to teach him to just let people talk.

„She really wants that sibling, huh?“ Chiara broke the silence, poking his side softly.

„Yes, she does,“ Ethan nodded.

„And you would...want that too, right?“ Chiara asked again, this time much more seriousness in her voice.

Both Chiara and Ethan were decided to adopt a child back in the days they believed they would never have their own. After Matilda was born, they didn’t really talk about it anymore – they felt too blessed, too lucky that they’ve gotten her and they were happy.

But the thoughts of adoption never truly left their heads and Chiara knew that especially Ethan considered the option often. She could see him talking to Matilda when she asked for a sister or a brother for her birthday, she saw the dreamy smile as they spoke about little kids.

And it was not like she was against the idea of adopting a child – quite the opposite. She grew up with two siblings and her brother and sister were one of the best parts of her childhood. She wished she could give Matilda the same feeling, the same love she recieved at her age. She just felt like she would be asking for too much, like it would be selfish to want another little human that would make them happy, when they already had one.

Those thoughts were not rational, but they were there and they slowed her decisions down.

„Yes, I would,“ Ethan nodded after a long while, looking straight into Chiara’s eyes.

He would never push her. But he wouldn’t lie either.

Chiara nodded and leaned in to press a soft kiss on Ethan’s mouth, pouring her emotions into it, her excitement with the idea just as strong as her anxiety.

Deep down, she knew that the decision has just been made. That no matter how openly they talked about it or expressed themselves, all three Ramseys wished to share their love and happiness with another soul.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Can I get accidental! first kiss with disney villains? Maybe it was supposed to be on the cheek but they turned their head at the last second or something? With Gaston, Jafar, Evil Queen, Hades and Dr. Facilier. (Can you tell I'm lowkey obssessed?) Thank you for your time.

Yay obsession XD

I hope this is okay for you!! And I'm so sorry it took so long.

~~~

All:

I stand, seething but motionless as the bastard sweeps by behind me. A long-fingered hand curls around my upper arm, and I have to fight with myself to prevent me flinging it off of me and slapping them across the face.

“Y/N… You understand, don’t you? I just can’t let them live. I’ll leave you be, if you tell me where they’re going.” I look up with just my eyes, not moving my chin an inch, to see (Tiana and Naveen / Snow White and the Dwarves / Belle / Hercules, Pegasus and Phil / Aladdin and Abu) running off in the distance, escaping.

You do know where they’re heading to hide, but revealing that to (The Shadow Man / the Queen / Gaston / Hades / Jafar) isn’t an option, so you just press your lips harder shut and straighten your head. Creepy crawlies squirm up my arm and my spine, feeling them close behind me. What I want more then anything right now is to run after them, my friends, but I’m the only chance they have at a distraction. This villain is hell bent, but lust’s a deadly sin for a reason.

And unfortunately, I’m their chosen suicide weapon.

“Like I am ever going to give you that kind of information.”

Not all this shaking is from anger, it’s from disgust.

Why me. Why me. All I want is to be good, and help my friends, and beat the bad guy together, but instead I’m the tart in the middle- and sometimes it’s hard to resist them.

There will always be a certain treacherous, wild charm to bad people, but God, if they never showed any interest, I wouldn’t be having this problem. I don’t want it!

Their other hand finds my opposite shoulder, gentle and patient, and forgiving somehow, and can I feel the heat of their front against my back, they’re so close. Can I run now?

“Love, I keep giving you this get out of jail free card, but you just don’t want to take it, will you? I just want this little bit of help in return, is that too much to ask?” They sigh, and I grit my teeth.

“Of course, it is, yes! - “

To my complete shock, the kiss they were apparently going to press on my cheek, lands horrifyingly on my lips when I turn my head, eyes blazing to them to say it is too much to ask.

They go with it.

Dr Facilier:

His hands on my shoulder and my arm immediately switch to cup my face, as he slips around me to be in front instead for easier access, pressing his mouth more securely over mine, as a shocked squeaky sound comes out of me like a dog toy.

And by some awful, evil, cruel force of the world, he’s really good kisser. Of course, he is. Because this isn’t hard enough already with him being freaken gorgeous. Sense escapes me, because I beautiful man is kissing me, and its good, and I’m a weak, weak, human being. I soften to his touch, and I tilt my head to go and kiss him back-

But then the sense comes back to me, and my eyes fly open as I jump back. “Oh no.”

I must look paler, because the Shadow man looks almost nervous when he looks at me. My lips feel hot. “Cher… “

“No, no!” I snap and he stops everything immediately. I feel redder the longer I stand here in his line of sight, just hot and embarrassed, and worried. So, in my confused and slightly panicked state, I turn around towards the direction the frogs escapes to, then turn back to Facilier, realise I don’t need to say goodbye, turn back to the escape route, turn back for half a second again, then turn back again finally. I slap a hand over my kissed lips, and start escaping off. “I have to go.”

“… till next time, Cher.”

Evil Queen:

It lasts only a few seconds, but when the ordeal, the kiss, the surprisingly lovely kiss ends, we look at each other in shock for a millisecond.

And only a millisecond. “Oh dear… Look what you’ve done, now.” Hilde touches her lips for second, then an uncharacteristic, evil smirk crosses her delicate features. It’s like she sees exactly what I’m thinking with those piercing eyes of hers, because I’m thinking just what she said.

Look what I did now.

Oh god, look what I’ve done now.

This is my fault!

They’re never going to forgive me now.

I step back from her personal bubble, and cover my mouth in shock, ad horror, and despair. They’re going to hate me.

I kissed the evil queen.

I look up at her -not sure why, - to her cover her horrible victorious look, with one of gentle concern for me. Fake concern for me. She takes a step forward, as if to take me in her arms again. “Oh, sweetheart… come here. I’ll make it better.”

This time, I don’t hesitate to respond to her affection. I whip around and run down the stairs of the tower, away from her. “No!”

Oh god. Oh god, what have I done?

I liked it.

Gaston:

Gaston doesn’t think- that’s what he’s known for actually. Besides being pretty.

Or maybe that’s just Belle and I.

Or maybe just me.

Anyway! He doesn’t think, and which is made quite clear when the next thing he does is instead of letting me go or acting surprised in any way, shape, or form, he sweeps me up against him in one rough movement with one of his arms and completely flattens his mouth to mine.

Oh Christ, my lips are going to bruise! And then people, or particularly in this case Belle, is absolutely going to know this happened.

I make a muffled yell sound against his mouth and pound my-puny, compared to him, - fist as hard as I bloody well can against his chest, and to my relief he lets me go. I drop down on my feet again, as he had gathered me literally up to him.

Using my fist, my wrist, and half of my arm, I savagely wipe my mouth. “Agh! What did we do?!”

“You, just experienced the magnificent kiss of Gaston!”

My cheeks are bright red and I feel hot, but still, I point a firm mummy finger at him. It shakes a bit, though, lessening the effect. “We never speak of this again.”

He smiles. “Now, darling, of course we don’t need to talk about it. In fact, you’re perfect for thinking that. Although, we might want to talk about other things- “

“No! No, no.” My pointer finger wilts, dropping all my weight onto my hip. “Oh, no. That isn’t what I meant.”

This may take some time.

Hades:

“Ah!” I squawk, breaking the kiss before either of us really let it sink in and take a couple steps back, shielding my mouth with the sleeve of my shirt. “Oh, hell.”

“Quite literally, sweetheart.”

I only glance at him in response to that, covering my ears pointedly, slowly, so he sees I will not be listening in to his mess while I’m freaking out.

It wasn’t a ‘real’ kiss, I guess. No, it wasn’t. So, does that mean I don’t have to tell Herc? It would be a lotta heartache for next to nothing, if I did… But if I don’t, it’ll just grow bigger and bigger… and it’ll eventually come out; That’s for sure. Herc will find out, and he’ll be hurt…

Because this is the monster that’s trying to hurt him, and his father, and who got the love of his life killed -she came back to life, sure, but I’m sure he’s still a little bit upset about it,- , and… and… this is his uncle we’re talking about.

The horribleness of what’s to come, when I tell him, dawns on me like a drawn out gong and the world suddenly feels much darker then before. I cover my mouth. “Damn it… “

As I was thinking, I must have taken my hands off my ears because when I hear Hades voice behind me it surprises me and I straighten my back immediately, feeling the shock race up my spine.

“I won’t tell him if you don’t, babe.”

Its, really, an enticing offer.

Jafar:

Before I can move to escape from the bastard myself, Jafar sweeps back from me on his own, exchanging the intimacy to flash me a long, creepy grin. I hug my stomach with one arm and run a hand through my hair with the other, looking at the ground instead of at him. Jesus.

What is Jasmine going to say? I can’t keep it from her, that’s for sure.

Wait, can I? …

No, no. Ridiculous thought. Moving on.

“Would you like to try again, my dear?”

“No!!?” I look incredulously at this man, before turning around because I cannot look at him anymore. I feel sick.

Not because of the sorta kiss with him. Not because I have anything against kissing him, in the first place.

But because its Jafar. He’s evil, he’s a creep, he’s trying to do horrible things to my friends, and the Sultan, and probably the whole kingdom.

And I liked it. I wanted more.

I still want more.

Oh god, am I a horrible person? I’m horrible. Before I realise what I’ve decided to do next, or even if I have made a decision or if I’m just scared, run off as fast as I can. 

[monsoonblooms12]

What Ethan & Pooja AU is this? #OpenHeartAU

Selcouth (Ethan x f!MC)

Summary: Set in Book 2, Pooja gets the recognition she deserves for solving Naveen Banerji's case.

Selcouth: Unfamiliar, rare, strange and yet, marvelous🤎

A/N: Thank you so much @beastlyinstrument for the visual prompt❤ I had fun thinking up and writing this piece.

A/N 2: The flashback portions are indented

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey X f!MC (Pooja Sharma)

Word Count: around 3.2K (I am sorry!)

Rating: General

Category: A bit angst, A bit fluff

Warnings: 1 Curse Word (again 😆)

Prompts: Late Submission for @choicesmonthlychallenge July challenge day 4: celebration

There was stark silence surrounding him as he scribbled out points from the morning meeting of the Diagnostics Team along with some of his own observations from the patient charts. The days have been nothing out of the blue since his return from the Cholera-ridden district of Amazons.

The steam from the warm coffee filled the entire office with its sweet aroma. With winters in their full force, there was a mystic chill all around the city and the warmth the coffee gave was extremely welcomed.

It took him 30 minutes to the tee to complete his morning paperwork. And as he arranged the white sheets in a clean stack, a slow groan escapes him. He had been so engrossed in work, that he had completely missed the fact that he had emptied his coffee cup.

Ethan looks up from his desk to the windows giving an enchanting view of the brumal grounds. Snowflakes, basking in the distant sun's glory, shining like iridescent jewels, fell slowly, silently to meet their origin.

It's too serene of a day to waste indoors.

The thought caught him somewhat by surprise, even if it was his encephalon producing it.

He had spent long years of his life away from focusing on diminutive happenings like the weather or the warmth of his favourite Vienna on a frosty day.

To appreciate the beauty of falling of the snowflakes today, was a slightly unusual change. He couldn't help but wonder as to what would have caused it.

He didn't need to wait long for an answer. Like a response to his unuttered query, the notification bell of his phone brought him out of his reverie and displayed her name with the joy of a student who had solved a difficult problem with ease on the first try. It was nothing out of the ordinary, just an email of her completed reports.

And yet, he was unable to control the breakout of butterflies in his stomach.

The feeling was orphic, and yet irenic.

As his heels tapped on the white floors, supposedly conducting an intriguing conversation with them, a faint intermix of voices reached him and stopped him in his tracks.

"You're wearing all black." It wasn't a question, but a fact that Alexandra's voice enunciated.

"Are you surprised?" A concordant voice questioned. Even if he didn't acknowledge it, it was one of his favourite euphonies.

"No. Impressed."

"I lost a bet to Bryce, and this is what I get in return." There is a pause. "It's a nice change though."

He can feel the smile that emerges out on her face at the end and feels his lips curl up, like a magnetic connection. He was caught off guard as he stood there thinking of the sweet nothings and sweet everythings of his reminiscences with her.

"Good Morning Dr Ramsey!"

It took him all his power to straighten himself, and to put on the stoic façade before responding,

"Good Morning Dr Walton."

Alexandra didn't initiate a conversation, just like he had expected. Bidding goodbye to her companion, she strode off her way.

Now, it was just him and her, standing in the middle of nowhere, eyes locked in intense focus, tied together with a string they find themselves unable to break.

She looked striking like she always did.

In every hue, every ensemble, at every hour, she knew how to induce that unnamed feeling in his heart.

All she had to do was to look at him the way she did, and his idiotic heart would skip a beat, and an ambrosial emotion would follow.

And what does one do when emotions go out of control?

Self Preservation.

Giving her a brisk nod, he dropped his gaze, hurrying away past her, not having the courage to look at the hurt caused.

Idiotic.

That's the only word he could use to describe his actions.

He could think of a trillion excuses, travel through a hundred bends on the roads of justification, but nothing would be enough to balance out the pain he was giving her. Not even his playlist of curses that he played in his mind every day to remind himself what he truly was.

An asshole.

As soon as his steps took him to the outdoors, the crisp cold winds blew through his hair, and he cherished the moment.

The apricity hugged him, and the scene that met his eyes, the world draped with a veil of phosphorescing snow, generated a euphoria he was unfamiliar with. As a minuscule flakelet fell on his outstretched hand, he realized that no one needs to spend a billion dollars to get happiness.

It is hidden amidst mundane things, and the only thing one has to do is to keep foraging for it.

Happiness can be made, it can be found. But can it be bought?

Never.

------------------

It was unusually calm at Derry's in the morning hours.

Not that he was complaining, of course.

In comfortable, long sips, he lets the caffeine overtake the tiredness and the heartache coursing through his body. The glare of the screen and ping of his cellular broke the aura of comfort that had spread out through the coffee shop. He wants to shut it off and throw it in a corner away from his sight, but decides against it.

It's a text from Naveen.

Skipping is not an option for today night!

A groan escapes him, the annoyance of another meet and greet taking away all the calm. He tried to convince him, but all efforts went futile. He plays the discussion all over again to find any loophole he can to escape the torture.

Flashback:

It's after hours and the wing of the hospital where Naveen's office was situated bore a silence. The amicable old man sat in his chair, leaning back as the younger one stood, with his back at him. It was obvious they had been arguing, but it seemed more like amusement for the old mentor and annoyance for the young protégé.

"There is no need-"

"Ethan, you have been repeating the same words for fifteen minutes now." Naveen chuckles.

"I very well know that there is no need for anything, dear friend. I just want a little bit of happiness and merriment in the hard times."

"I am not stopping you from doing that, Naveen, you know that. But what is the need of the celebration being about me?"

"Because you are a reason I am alive today." The man gives a melancholy smile, vision blurred as the near-death experience of the past year come sailing in front of him.

"This celebration is about you and Dr Sharma. Without the two of you, I would not have been here."

Ethan's features are clouded by the pain of losing his mentor, who has been like a father to him, and inspiration. His frown softens, annoyance long lost, as he comes as takes a seat and places his hand on his.

"Fine. I will do this. But only for you, okay?"

Naveen's lips curl up in a grateful, happy smile as if wordlessly conveying his thanks. As Ethan stands up and proceeds to leave, he cannot stop himself from laying out his observation,

"For her too."

And Ethan knew. He knew exactly whom this was about. And as much as he wanted to deny the assumption, he couldn't help but accept the truth in it. Of course, he was doing it for Naveen. But he was doing it for her too. She deserved it so much more than him. If she hadn't been there, the seat occupied by his mentor today would have been...

Flashback ends

As his eyes skim through the crisp pages of the medical journal absent-mindedly, he thinks of her again. The permanent occupant of his daydreams, who would still manage to come back, no matter how many resets he carried out.

He thinks of her attire from the hour before, hair in a neat long braid, dressed in a meticulously embroidered Indian attire. And then of the celebration at dusk, where she will finally receive the recognition she deserves.

All the doubts regarding her promotion to the Diagnostics Team would be washed away.

He remembers what she had told him a few days after he had heard those nasty rumours,

"I have proved myself and I know what's true. I don't need to show anyone else the testament of my abilities. As long as I am fair and just, their words can do no harm to me."

His admiration for her had increased phenomenally when she spoke those words to him.

His pride, his faith had not been misplaced when he picked her for the difficult voyage named Edenbrook.

He has never felt so proud of any other intern as much as he does of her.

His heart sings to him, his choice was correct. He doesn't let it elaborate itself, because one wrong move from his side would be more than enough to ruin this unpolished gem before she even gets a chance to shine.

Yes, he did tell her that some things are worth any risk, she is worth any risk, back in Miami. The reminiscences of the day still played on the screen of his mind in sepia, they lulled him to sleep.

But the risk to harm her fragile career before it even blossoms?

It wasn't just a risk, it was like a crime for him.

One which he refused to commit.

---------------------

As dusk falls and winter blues colour the land of snow in multichromatic hues, hiding any bit of orange from the setting sun, Pooja Sharma hums along with her favourite songs as she dresses up for the special evening.

No matter how much she wants to curl up in the folds of the soft Cashmere, she has to be in attendance. It's a strict order from her grand mentor and impossible for her to go past.

It's all black day, she reminds herself when picking the outfit. And she doesn't forget to leave a thank you note for Lekh as she finds the perfect one.

And now, as she stands, trying to complete the arduous job of creating a perfect eyeliner wing, a certain someone's reminiscences trouble her pained heart.

No matter how much she scolds it for its stupidity, trying to explain the futility of the hope of getting together, it never heeds, just continues to trouble her with the baritone of his that enchants her mind, the cologne that overpowers all her senses.

As she looks at the reflection in the speculum, she cannot help but imagine his reaction.

Will she even get a reaction?

Maybe just a nod, or a look.

No words.

She has convinced herself with it. It took some time, some stops, some pulls of an invisible harness, but she has convinced herself.

She's stopped hoping, soothing herself with whatever they shared, memories that felt like they belong to a bygone era, and a promise of treasuring them, just in case he ever decided to come back.

---------------------

In the vespertine hours, the diamond dust made the sun devoid city look like a fairytale. Any other time, he would have just worried about the sharp chill, probably cursing the snow.

Being so observant of the places he is a regular visitor at, it was a new experience for him.

Strange, even.

It's something that will take some time to get used to.

The interiors are warm. Minimally decorated, as he had requested. Not wanting to create a fuss, he bee-lines to the corner of the room, where the only occupant was emptiness. He decided to cherish the moments of solace before the bother of the vivacious crowd began, wanting to start a colloquy.

On instinct, he looks around, not being able to comprehend the reason why his heart leaps to his throat. And then a pang of disappointment overlaps that sudden nervousness.

The absence of one person, the feeling so profound.

It's magical.

Dangerous, but still, magical.

A mute scold follows. No matter how hard he tries, strives towards that unannounced aim of reset, his stupid heart and its childishness always ruin his plans.

The call of his name makes him turn around.

Naveen stands, jolly smile fixed in place, eyes sparkling with joy and...

Gratitude.

They chat, topics ranging from Diagnostic team cases to complaints of coffee. His orbs casually drift towards the entryway, in hope of seeing his dearest.

And as the astrologers say, the stars align, the universe comes into play, and the shimmer of black in the lambent atmosphere makes his heart skip a beat. He feels a smile emerging and hastily hides it with a scowl.

If he had to, he would have sworn that he looked like a clown.

Her ambers gaze around in a lucid, tender manner, in strike contrast to his a while ago.

There is a lack of haste, of worry, of unease.

Her very presence fills the air with tranquility and without his consent, his soul basks in it. After what felt like an eternity, their gazes meet.

Melt into each other like the wax of two candles.

Become inseparable.

She smiles, it's faint.

It seems more of a formality than a wish. The momentary cheer is replaced by a somber, melancholic expression. Her orbs drift away, gaze turns away as if to hide whatever was to come from him.

And he knows.

He's the reason.

Silence is suffocating, but right now, the chaos is even more constricting to him.

Everyone chatters, mingles, smiles.

Everyone except her.

She stands too still, flashing a half-hearted smile and half-hearted gaze here and there, as she is surrounded by the rest of her friends, preventing him from getting a better look.

As conflict rises in his interior, a to go or not to debate, the gulps of scotch become more frequent, the frown gets tighter and guilt gets heavier. Before he can drown down into the never-ending cascade of crippling self-hatred, there is a call of his name.

Naveen.

---------------------

Claps and whoots surround her, along with a cheer. She becomes the recipient of numerous bear hugs, and compliments as Naveen elaborates on her contribution to his recovery. It feels like a reel of situations played from her sweven. It took a pinch for her to realize that it wasn't.

A mic tap follows, it's Ethan's turn to speak. She freezes upon hearing her name getting repeated again. There is an uncanny depth to it, she notices. An indication that it conceals so much more than is visible. Not just pride, not just intoxicating happiness.

Gratitude, raw and pure gratitude.

And something else (or maybe not?)

Her focus all over the place, she missed a lot of the address. What stayed carved in golden words was a single sentence, unremarkably remarkable.

"It's not me, it's her. I lost all hope, but she was the one who fought till the very end, never giving up, even if she had thousands of storms to navigate through."

"There can be only one recipient of the applause today, and it's Dr Sharma."

Two contrasting emotions put her in a dilemma. Whether to let the water drops she held strongly to herself or to let the heartfelt joy induce the grin that would shine brighter than the stars the twinkle along with the forlorn moon?

Unable to decide, she let the cracks in her stoic mask deepen, let the faint upturn of lips become visible to the world. Every applaud fell short, in a haze, as the mere words spoken mere moments before played in a loop like a soft harmony.

The 360-degree turn of the evening gave her the most unexpected and the most precious memories.

The change of the blithe chilly eve to heartwarming dusk.

Rare, mysterious and yet, magnificent.

Selcouth.

---------------------

Ethan Ramsey, for the past decade of his extremely brilliant career, has never displayed even a minuscule amount of emotions. Never. The mask of stoicism fixed so perfectly, that no power could ever induce a crack in it.

No one could.

Until one day, an intern waltzed into his life like an unforeseen plot twist and induced changes no one ever could.

The mask has cracked, even if to a small degree, letting the minuscule details of a transformation out. Sometimes it could be as evident as a smile, or a genuine compliment to an intern. In other instances, it would be just the absence of the forehead frown (which had become a permanent resident at a point).

And now, the beloved plot twist of his novel stood before him, her eyes expertly decorated with kohl. She was quieter than usual, engaging in casual conversation, but prevented going into depths of it.

Their gazes never meet, only slide past each other.

He missed looking into the amber of hers, trying to figure out her thoughts like someone engaged with a very complex puzzle that ends up in a phenomenal picture.

He missed listening to her sweet whispers, mumbles which made him smile more than he had for the past decade.

He missed her.

The universe is always planning a conspiracy to make destiny true. And it's definitely an action of its, that his hand extends towards her, wordlessly.

She gazes at it, gazes at him, thinks for a while.

And finally, slips her hand, bejeweled with that bracelet she wore in Miami. He still remembers it placed on his heart, which beat at an erratic rhythm.

Which beats at an erratic rhythm now.

Looking at the Bostonian sky, only drapes of translucent mist could be seen all around. No twinkles, even the moonbeams were struggling to reach them. The silence is comfortable, only interrupted by the sips of steaming hot coffee.

Her eyes are fixed above, in a search for the hidden celestial elements. His focus stayed on the snowflakes resting on his jacket.

He leans back, places a hand down.

There is a lack of warmth.

Soon enough, another hand joins him.

The cold is gone.

And so is his search of moonbeams.

Her touch felt like light, his own moonbeam. So soft, so warm, so dear. Something he could keep etched on his skin forever.

She was his moon.

And for her, those summery blue orbs held depths of the ocean, the faint, soft wrinkles that languid years leave behind as a mark of their passing like map lines of some unknown lands.

He was her world.

In every universe, through trials and tribulations, through pain and smiles, they were destined to find their way to each other. No one powerful enough to keep them apart.

Not even they themselves.

It was a cosmic state of comfort they found themselves in. His hand in hers, their fingers interwoven, the reflex etched in his mind with an everlasting ink.

He has never believed in soulmates, but as he as leans back, eyes closed, hair fluttering along with the icy-cold breeze, having her by his side, he couldn't bring himself to believe this was anything less than destiny.

That even after so many trials of forgetting her, he would always come back to her, searching for the serenity he only finds in her presence.

The feeling is rare, confusing, maybe terrifying.

But right now, he basks in the warmth that it provides, all worries and all woes are hidden in a wooden box, discarded away from his sight. And unbeknownst to even him, he waits for the day he can kiss her the way he wants to, no ties, no binds holding them away.

Yes, he waits for the day.

PS: If you are reading this, I am very grateful for you. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day🤎

Tags💕 (Let me know if you would like to be added or removed) :

Perma: @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @udishaman @aestheticartsx @twinkleallnight @schnitzelbutterfingers @sophxwithers @sweatyrysconnoisseur @nikki-2406 @choicesfanaf @trrfanaddict @starrystarrytrouble @gardeningourmet @parkbarks @mvalentine @lovablegranny @mercury84choices @izzyourresidentlawyer @jessiembruno

Open Heart (All fics and edit): @lucy-268 @maurine07 @bellcat2010 @headoverheelsforramsey @estellaelysian @shanzay44

Ethan x Pooja: @aleynareads @choicesaddict5 @stygianflood @mysticaurathings @jamespotterthefirst @ilikemenbutonlyethanramsey @takemyopenheart

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[lsvdw-blog]

Okay (Alternate Ending)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC

Word Count: 2k

Warnings; Rating: Angst; General

Premise: The aftermath of MC and Ethan's fight about their date night debacle, with an alternate ending.

Author’s Note: This is Part III of the "Already Here" series with an alternate, very angsty, ending. If you want the happy ending... this is not it 😅 The happy ending can be found here. Thank you to @choiceskatie for helping me bounce ideas and pre-reading!! I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading 💖

She struggles to unlock her front door, vision blurry from the tears. She hopes to any and every deity that the apartment is empty as she stumbles through the entrance.

“Serena, you’re home! How did it go?”

Sienna is at the dining room table, jumping excitedly in her seat. Her face falls as she takes in her roommate’s running mascara.

"It didn't go."

“What?"

Serena staggers to the couch, falling face first onto the cushions. "He didn't show…"

"Oh sweetie… " Sienna stands and makes her way to the couch. Sitting on the unoccupied end, she strokes her best friend’s hair.

“Then, I went to his apartment and we had this huge fight and he called us a mistake," she says through her sobs as she sits up and puts her head on Sienna’s shoulder.

"Do you want to stuff our faces with takeout and junk food and binge watch Marvel movies?"

Serena just sniffs and nods her head.

Two hours later, the television is playing a soft melody as they share their second pint of Ben & Jerry's.

"Even after everything… Steve is Peggy's Lobster, just like Ethan is yours."

Serena looks to her left with incredulity.

"You know! Lobster! They fall in love and mate for life!"

Serena snorts. "Have you seen the claws on those things? Ever been pinched by one? Shit hurts," she says as she puts another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

They sit in silence for a few minutes before Serena’s dejected voice rings out. “Why does he keep doing this to me?”

Sienna scrunches her nose. "Lobsters always were finicky."

~~~ One Week Later ~~~

“Here are the test results you requested, Dr. Ramsey.”

She places the manila folder in front of him and takes a step back, keeping her head down.

Ethan stares at her for a long moment, willing her to look at him. It’s been like this for the past few days: she only speaks to him when absolutely necessary and avoids eye contact at all costs. When she continues to evade his gaze, he sighs, and opens the folder.

His brows furrow. “This isn’t the test we decided to order.”

“Oh. I'll go fix that right now.” She finally meets his eyes and says, “I must have made a mistake.”

His chest tightens: Did she make a mistake with the test… or with me?

~~~~~~

She approaches the office and knocks softly.

“Come in.”

She slowly pushes open the door and sees Naveen look up.

“Ah, Serena! To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my grand-mentee?”

She gives a small smile as she shuts the door behind her. “I was hoping you would have some time to talk.”

“What did he do?”

She spills the story, only stopping halfway through to take the tissue Naveen hands her. After she finishes, she wipes her eyes, and reaches into her coat pocket, pulling out something folded. “And I was hoping you would approve this.”

Naveen unfolds the paper, skimming over it. “A leave of absence?”

She nods. "I'm not asking for this solely because of what happened. I've been homesick for a while now; it was my first holiday season without my family and I haven't seen them since I moved here… and I don't know, I guess what happened with Eth—” she clears her throat, “Dr. Ramsey, was the last straw. It all feels like it's too much: Edenbrook, Boston.” She shakes her head before continuing. “I just… need a break. Please."

Naveen sits back and takes her in. She’s slightly hunched over, strands of hair falling out of her topknot, the concealer no longer hiding her dark circles, and she’s been wringing her hands since she sat down. The woman in front of him is a shell of the usually confident and exuberant young lady he is used to seeing and his heart breaks for her.

“I will grant you this leave of absence.”

She perks up at his words.

“On one condition.”

She eyes him warily.

“When you feel like you have reset, you must return and talk to him. I am not saying you have to make up with him, or even forgive him. Just talk to him about what happened.”

She is unmoving for a few seconds, then nods soberly. “You’re right, I know.”

“I wouldn’t be much of a grand-mentor if I wasn’t, now would I?” He says with a smile.

~~~~~~

Ethan is walking down the corridor to his office, trying to comprehend the words on the file in his hand, but his mind is elsewhere. The sun has long set, but he refuses to go home. To the place where, everywhere he looks, he's reminded of her. It's not like he'll be able to sleep anyways; he's lost count of how many sleepless nights he's had since their argument, tossing and turning for hours, as her side of the bed remains tucked and cold.

Not only has he been unable to sleep, he's been unable to focus on anything but her: her melodic laugh lilting through the hospital corridors, her sweet perfume lingering in the office, her animated way of chatting with anybody but him.

He opens the office door and a voice in the back of his head reminds him: You miss her, you idiot.

He rubs his bleary eyes and looks at his watch. 8:09pm.

He groans and goes to sit at his desk when a purple sticky note catches his eye. There, scrawled in her loopy half-cursive is a note: Need some space.

He immediately grabs his bag and rushes to the parking garage, hoping he's not too late.

~~~~~~

He knocks urgently, stepping backwards as the door swings open.

"Dr. Trinh, hello. Is Serena here? I really need to speak with her."

Sienna stands there, unblinking.

He awkwardly clears his throat and begins to try and look into and around the apartment.

Sienna follows his movements, trying, and failing, to block his line of sight.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Dr. Ramsey."

Before he can speak, she continues: “Even if she hadn’t left yet, she wouldn’t want to speak with you anyways.”

His blue eyes turn a shade stormier at this information. “What do you mean ‘if she hadn’t left—”

“Nothing!” Sienna goes to close the door, but is stopped by Ethan’s hand.

“Dr. Trinh. Sienna… please.”

His eyes are conveying a plethora of unspoken pleas, and after a few beats, she sighs.

“She’s at the airport.”

“What? Where is she going? For how long?”

“She’s going home and she didn’t say.” She shrugs.

Ethan immediately turns on his heel.

"Flight 936!" Sienna yells after him as he sprints back to his car.

He hurriedly weaves between the leisurely drivers and dodges through the lackadaisical travelers in the airport lobby, stopping in front of an information screen. His eyes scan the monitor furiously until he sees it.

Flight 936: Boarding Now.

He bolts to the nearest desk, buying the next available flight, and rushes through security.

He's running like a madman, frantically looking for her, hoping that she hasn't boarded yet.

He arrives at the designated gate area, but she's nowhere to be found. He's about to approach the help desk when a familiar voice rings out from behind him.

“What are you doing here?”

It’s not lost on him that she utters the same words he so callously said to her in front of his apartment that night.

He heaves a sigh of relief. He turns towards her, taking a step forward, only for her to take a step back, and the small smile on his face fades.

“I need to explain myself.”

“It’s a little too late for that.” She begins to walk around him.

Ethan lightly catches her wrist, stopping her. “Rookie… I know I've hurt you, innumerable times, and I am so sorry. Please hear me out and if you still want to leave afterwards, I will buy you a new ticket home.”

She looks into his imploring orbs and sees nothing but honesty. She continues to stare at him silently.

“I didn’t mean it, I—"

She gives a dry laugh. “Oh, come on. Surely you know that phrase not only disregards your behavior, but also dismisses the pain it has caused.”

He shakes his head in disagreement and opens his mouth to refute when she removes her wrist from his hold.

“Ethan, you have always been brutally honest. With interns when they’ve made a mistake, pharmaceutical reps when they’re trying to schmooze you, and with me, concerning the nature of our relationship. So I believe you. I believe that you know you’ve hurt me. I believe that you’re sorry. I believe that you want to make things right.”

He’s unsure of where she’s going with this and his palms are sweaty from the anticipation.

“But I also believed you the other night. Why wouldn’t I when you’ve never shied away from delivering the truth? No matter how painful.”

Her voice gets smaller at the end of her statement.

“But that’s just the problem, isn’t it? You are honest to a fault and that’s wounded me more times than I can count anymore.”

His breathing is shallow, heart feeling like it’s going to beat out of his chest.

“There is a grain of truth in every joke, Ethan, and although I know you weren't joking that night, the sentiment still stands: we mean what we say."

"I made a grave error that night, but I'm here now.” He takes a step towards her. “I ran through the airport to find you before you left and I'm here, in front of you, and I mean it when I say that I want you to stay." His eyes are pleading with her.

"What would you have done? If I had chased you through the airport when you left for the Amazon? Would you still have abandoned me?* Abandoned us?"

His jaw goes slack at her challenge. He wills himself to speak, say anything, but his mouth is dry. Overflowing with guilt, he looks away.

She was sure her heart couldn’t break any further, but it splinters just a bit more at his silence.

She nods in resignation.

"I thought so," she whispers.

She takes a shuddering breath, steeling herself for what she is about to say next.

“It’s clear now, Ethan. I respect you and your feelings, but it’s obvious the same can’t be said for you about me. I keep waiting and hoping that someday, you’ll give me the same effort I have given to you, to us. But I am so exhausted from getting my hopes up, only to have them crash back down each and every time. I fell for you, slowly at first, then all at once. But each time that I fell a bit further, the cuts got deeper, and you were never there to pick or patch me up until the scars had already formed."

He's panicking now, eyes frantically searching her face.

She sighs. "I just… I am always the one getting my heart ripped out. Down this road? I won't survive." She shakes her head. "I can't do it anymore."

Tears are pooling in his eyes. No. No no no.

"I can't do this," she motions between them, "anymore."

The intercom sputters to life. "This is the final boarding call for flight 936 to Kansas City."

She grabs her suitcase.

"Serena," he places his hand on top of hers, momentarily stopping her. "Please don't leave me. Please don't leave us," his voice breaks and his eyes shine with unshed tears.

She shakes her head slowly. "There is no us. Not anymore." 

She moves her hand and suitcase out from under his, and turns around, showing her plane ticket to be scanned. Ethan watches her disappear down the jetway, with a single tear sliding down his face, as he's left standing there, alone.

~~~~~~

*Disclaimer: Huge thank you to @choiceskatie for this line!!!

[drariellevalentine]

A prompt where mc is unconscious in Ethan's arms.

Oof. This one really broke my heart.

This Is Me Trying

Pairing:- Ethan Ramsey x Arielle Valentine

Warnings:- angst. Major heart wrenching angst.

Takes place during the events of OHSY’s Chapter 5.

Song inspiration:- Folklore by Taylor Swift (I was listening to it on repeat the whole time)

Arielle’s PoV:-

Just when you’re about to take a break, you get paged by Eth- Dr. Ramsey. With a sigh, you turn around and walk towards the diagnostics office.

You step inside the diagnostics office as the glass doors open with a hiss to see Dr. Ramsey pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yes?”

He looks up, anger and irritation clear in his face. “I thought you had at least a bit of maturity but I can see that I was wrong.” You stifle the urge to roll your eyes.

“What did I do?”, you ask trying to keep your voice as level as possible noticing that June and Baz are in the room.

As soon as he hears your words, he gets up and slams a stack of papers in front of you. You pick them up to see the name “Gwyneth Monroe” on the top. You wince slightly.

“I thought I had specifically told you that the diagnostics team does not seek patients and that they come to us! I come in and receive the news that Gwyneth Monroe had been approached by a ‘Dr. Valentine’. The same person I said no to as for reaching out.”

“Well excuse me for trying to keep this team afloat! I was only doing what’s best for the team! And besides, by doing this we’ll still be able to treat patients who can’t afford treatment!”

“That’s what you think! The board is thrilled about this and Naveen has told me that the board wants us to ‘move our focus towards high-profile patients’.” His eyes are filled with fury.

“Well I’m sorry but you can’t expect me to just stand there doing absolutely nothing while this team sinks to the bottom.”, you shrug.

“Guys, you should calm down for a moment. The patient’s probably waiting for us and we don’t want to keep them waiting.”, Baz says tentatively.

“Oh yes, from now on just like Dr. Valentine wanted we need to provide all our special patients with VIP treatment!” Your anger flares as he pokes accusations at you.

“I never said that! I’m sorry but the only way that we can still keep running this team just like Naveen wanted is by changing and adjusting a little!”

“And what do you know about Naveen’s vision? Just because you are his goddaughter doesn’t give you more authority then the rest of us, nor does it to make decisions without my approval.” Your mouth drops open as you gape at him. Baz’s eyes widen as June speaks up. “Ethan, that’s extremely low.” Ethan scoffs.

“Seriously?! I thought you knew how hard I worked for this position! Turns out you think that I got into this fellowship because of Naveen and not because of my own damn effort.”

“Stop twisting my words, Arielle.”, he says giving you a death stare.

“I never twisted your damn words.”, you clap back.

“Well, maybe you’re still not ready for a position like this. Seeming that you can’t follow a simple set of instructions.”

“How many times do I have to say it?! I was doing what we needed to do in order to keep our team afloat!!”

“And I told you not to do something which is exactly what you’ve done! I thought you had learned your lesson from last year, but clearly I’ve misjudged you.”

“Don’t you dare bring last year’s events into this! That has nothing to do with this!”, you shout.

“It has the utmost important and impact. Clearly representing your lack of being able to follow a set of instructions!”

“I can’t believe you!”

“We’ll get used to it then. If you pull one more stunt like this, I won’t hesitate to terminate your fellowship.” That sentence triggers something inside of you, a last straw.

“Well in that case, consider my whole damn job ’terminated’!” You slam your ID badge on his desk and rush out of that office as fast as your heels can take you, ignoring Baz and June’s shouts.

Ethan’s PoV:-

You slump back into your chair, and pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Ethan, I know you’re our boss and all that but what in the world did you do that for?! That poor girl just quit her job!” You turn to Baz.

“And she won’t be the only one if this conversation continues.”, you say. They both exit the room.

“Lord, one day she’ll be the death of me!” You decide to go to the ER to help with any patients. After attending to a few casualties, you go back to your office when you see Harper standing at the entrance, arms crossed. You raise your eyebrows.

“Was that Dr. Valentine I saw rushing out of here?”

“Yes.”

“What the hell were you thinking, Ethan?! You can’t just shout at her like that.”

“Well, I can if I need to.”

“Well maybe when she deserves it. You damn very well know that what she did didn’t make you angry. You’re angry that what she says is right, and worried that Naveen’s vision will be compromised.”

You sigh. “...maybe I was a bit too hard on her.”

“A bit?”, she looks at you incredulously.

“Fine! I was hard on her, so what?! It’s not like she’s actually going to resign her job, it was a hot-headed decision.”

“Oh really? Then what’s this?” She waves a minute stack of papers. You take it from her and read it. It’s a resignation letter, signed. Your eyes widen in disbelief.

“She came to me, with a resignation letter and said that she wanted me to sign these papers. She’s very clear-headed and informed me that it isn’t a rash decision, but one that she’s been mulling over for sometime. She’s gotten an offer to transfer her residency back to New York, offering her a part in researching preeclampsia treatments.”

“She wouldn’t…”, your mind says.

“Naveen’s signed them too.”

“What?!” You scan the papers and notice your mentor’s signature at the bottom. “Damn it… I should go talk to her.”

“You should, And do it now. She’s leaving in a few hours to New York. The young doctor’s got quite a few connections.”

“Just tell me where she is!”

She shrugs. “She’s handing over all her patients to other residents so she could be anywhere. Dr. Hirata, Dr. Delarosa and both Dr. Mirani’s have tried talking her out of it but she wouldn’t budge. So did her friends and Dr. Lahela. Naveen tried his best but couldn’t either.”

“Well why didn’t you?!”, you ask.

“You really thought I didn’t? She’s quite the woman, didn’t waver a second. And you know how intimidating I can be.”

“Well, of course she is.”, your mind reminds you as you rush out of the office.

Arielle’s PoV:-

You’re walking through the halls of Edenbrook, handing out your charts to everyone just like you did when you were suspended. Except this time, it’ll be the last. You try to ignore your friends’ voices as you hand out the last of your charts. You quickly change into a white cropped top and a pair of jeans and gather all your things from the locker, slowly loading everything into your locker. You would have asked your friends, but you don’t have the heart to face them.

You quickly check everything off, ignoring the multiple pages you receive from your friends and him. You turn off your pager and take off your white coat, Edenbrook’s logo etched on it and hand it over to Zaid.

“I thought I’d never say this but, I’m going to miss you Valentine.”

“You know what Zaid? Me too, after all who else is going to annoy me in the mornings!”

“God, I’m going to miss you so much!”, Ines wraps you up in a hug. “Have you told your friends anything?”

You shake your head. “I can’t right now. I might fly back and visit in a week or two Probably with lots of presents cause they’ll all hate me.”

She gives you a knowing look. “You know that he didn’t really mean it.”

“I know. But I can’t go on like this.” She nods. You wave one last time before you head out back to your car. You put on your sunglasses as you unlock your car. You’re about to start the engine when you realise your backpack’s still in the office.

“Crap!” You know you’ll have to get it yourself. You head back in, and take the back way to the elevator. Luckily, it’s empty. You get in and press the button for the 9th floor. The elevator slowly descends up, 3rd…...4th…...5th..”-

The elevator dings, it’s doors opening to reveal…

“Dr. Valentine.” You can see the relief in his eyes, his chest lightly heaving.

“He’s been looking for you.” The realisation dawns on you as he enters the elevator.

Suddenly, the elevator jerks slightly. You lightly stumble as there’s no bar to hold for support. You spot the bar near him and decide to stay as far as possible.

Suddenly he presses the emergency button, the elevator stops in its tracks.

“What did you do that for?!” He ignores you. You ask again.

“One argument. One argument and you quit.”

“It wasn’t one argument! You literally blamed everything on me when I was trying to help!”

“So you sign these?!” He waves your resignation papers in front of you.

“You can’t expect me to keep doing this!”

“Doing what?! I never asked you to do anything!” You take a deep breath.

“I can’t do this anymore. Seeing you every day, us acting like nothing more than colleagues, maybe friends. Acting like absolutely nothing happened between us, it hurts, Ethan. It hurts every day, every hour every minute of my damn life!.”, you blurt out. His eyes soften as he hears your words.

“Arielle, I know and I’ve told”-

“Screw my job, screw your damn ethics and morals, screw everything damn it! I’m head over heels in love with you, Ethan Jonah Ramsey, and you can’t expect me to keep quiet!” His eyes widen as he realise the extent of your words. Tears start to roll down your cheeks.

“Do you know how hard it was for me, when you left? I found out from one of the nurses, for God’s sake!”

“I couldn’t bring myself to tell you”-

“And when you came back, after two whole months you address us as something that was in the past, something that already was finished. Was it all that meant to you?”

“I- you know that’s not true”-

“I just can’t do it anymore, Ethan. I don’t know what you’ve heard but I’m leaving Boston in a few hours. I only came back for my bag, nothing else.”

“Wait, we can”-

“I can’t, Ethan, I can’t. I feel like I’m a rope in a game of tug-of-war. You acting hot then cold.You being there right beside me, but not being able to kiss you...I can’t stand it.” You can see his eyes slowly tearing up.

Not being able to look at him, you turn around and press the emergency button, the elevator descends up again. He slams the button again, the elevator stops in its tracks. “Well you can’t expect me to let you leave just like that!”

“I don’t. Which is why I’ve told everyone I’m going to New York.”, you respond as you punch the button again, the lift slowly going up.

“I don’t care where you go, Arielle Cerise Valentine. I will find you, even if it means travelling to the ends of the damn earth.”, he responds as he presses the button again, the lift halts to a stop. His sentence tugs right at your heartstrings, breaking your heart even more.

“Ethan, please don’t. I’m begging you, it hurts. Let me go, you have to let me go.”

“I can’t. How could I?”

“...then I’ll do it for you.” You press the button for the last time, the elevator finally arriving at the ninth floor. You slowly take a step towards the office.

Ethan pulls you back to his arms, his lips meeting yours in a heady kiss. You don’t have the strength to pull away, but you know you have to. You break the kiss as the elevator door starts to open.

“I’m sorry…”

Ethan’s PoV:-

You don’t know what to do, your heart beating irrationally. “Arielle, wait!” She doesn’t look back. In a last attempt, you press the button to close the doors. They close as you sigh in relief. She looks at you, this time really looks at you. Her beautiful violet irises meeting yours. You press the emergency button one last time, never taking your eyes off of her.

“You can’t leave me, I know I’m being selfish but please don’t.” She takes one last look at you, then turns away.

In crushing defeat, you take your hand off the button, the doors start to open as she slowly walks to them. You try to memorise every inch of her, who knows when he’ll see her again. She’s about to step out when suddenly the elevator jerks quite violently.

She’s thrown back into the right wall as your shoulder forcefully collides with another wall. You’re about to help her when a second later, the elevator drops. You hold on to the metal bar for dear life as the elevator rapidly descends down several feet.

Remembering you’re not alone in the midst of the chaos as you hear screams, you see Arielle’s petite body hit the top of the elevator and drop down with a terrifying thud. You watch in horror, cursing as you’re not able to do anything.

“No!!!”

The elevator finally stops after what seems like an eternity. We rush towards Arielle, trying not to focus on the bright blood stains on her white top and hair.

“Arielle? Arielle?! Can you hear me?! Please, wake up damn it!”

Her eyelashes lightly flutter. You quickly take her in your arms.

“Mmm… i-it hu-hurts E-Ethan.” Your eyes well up once again as she struggles to speak, pain completely unbearable, for you mentally and for her physically.

“Shhhh….I know. Can you tell me where it hurts?” She tries to speak but winces in pain.

“Okay, I’m going to examine you slowly and I want you to blink once if it hurts.” She nods very slowly. Suddenly, you hear a tune. You realise it’s your phone.

“Just one second, Rookie. It’s probably Naveen or Harper.” You slowly prop her up against the wall and answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Oh thank god, Ethan! We were so worried. How many people are inside? Is anyone hurt?”, Harper asks.

“No, it was just me and Ari”- You’re interrupted by a soft thud. You whip around to see Arielle lying unconscious on the floor. You drop to your knees.

“Rookie!”

“Ethan?! What happened?!” You can hear Harper yelling but you ignore it, all your attention on her.

“Rookie! Arielle, wake up!!”

This time her eyes stayed shut.

************************************************

Author’s Note:- Okay, first of all I commend you if there isn’t even a single tear rolling across your face. I know I cried while writing this which is why if you see any mistakes, ignore them cause this wasn’t even edited once. But on a bit of a more of a happier note, I’m writing/brainstorming a part 2 to this so...

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[estellaelysian]

Unsent letter

I don't think Ethan was exactly thrilled to go to Amazon for the reset, so here is a letter he wrote to Alishka during the end of his stay, but never sent it.

(I am so sorry for this, but) this is a late entry for the choices February challenge Day 10: Letter

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Dear Alishka,

I know I have hurt you deeply. I know you may not forgive me, and the possibility that I have lost my chance with you gnaws at me. But I see no other choice, and this, somehow, seems inevitable. I know you would raise your eyebrow skeptically at my choice of words and wonder aloud if its true, and it is this quirk of yours that never ceases to amaze me. After all, there are somethings that can never be resisted. You are one of those - everyone likes you, not only because you are immensely kind, but because you are quick to laugh, witty, intelligent, good with people and that you can talk about almost anything with ease. I really admire you, I do, but sometimes things are not meant to be. Sometimes, love is not enough.

Maybe I am wrong. You would definitely say that, I know, with a twinkle in your eye, but I have my reasons that I would never be able to express in a conscious manner. Or rather that's what I tell myself frequently, mostly at evenings when I yearn to reach for the only photo I ever took of you at Miami. I left it at Boston, thinking it'd be easier that way. But it isn't. It is never easy without you.

No amount of words can express the intensity of emotions I feel right now - dread and fear, along with the haunting realisation that you may not want anything to do with me in the future. It scares me more than I'd like to admit, but somethings can't be helped, not when you don't want to try. I'd be lying if I said that though. I am alone and sick without you, and I'd be more than willing to try, but I can't, not when it involves your career. I do not wish to resent that for what we could have.

I keep telling myself I am right, even though I know I am not. I keep denying that I did something wrong by refusing Naveen when he tried talking me out of this. Going to the airport and boarding the flight without telling you anything - I'll tell myself that was correct. And it works during the day. But at night, it doesn't. No matter how busy, engaging and tiring my days are, I can't fall asleep easily at night. I am restless, because that's when I think about you the most. Because that's when I have no work to distract me enough from not wondering about you. It's always - What must she be doing? What must she be thinking and so on. I can never bring myself to entirely forget you, no matter how busy working I am, because it just doesn't feel right.

I see you often though, mostly at nights, in my dreams, whenever you come to visit me. You look like you did in Miami - the moment I saw you then, I knew I'd always remember you like that - clad in blue, your dark wavy hair tumbling past your shoulders, your eyes closed, your face a picture of serenity when we stood at the balcony together. That's how I always see you, as a vision I never quite see in anyone else, and I knew then that I'd never forget you thereafter. I ache to feel the soft pressure of your lips against mine.

I have been to the bush a few times, and those deep greens, which are present only at its heart, remind me of your eyes. The rest is more like me, barren and stripped of everything. The angry heat reminds me of your pained expression when I pushed you away, but the sun reminds me of how radiant you look in the hospital when with your patients. Children play and laugh around the camp, reminding me of your childish giggle when you are with your friends. Everything here reminds me of you. It's like no matter how much of a distance I put between us, you still follow me around. Most of all though, whenever I am in the bush, I know one thing, as crystal clear as the sky: I was wrong to deny what was obvious to everyone else - that I cannot forget you easily.

I still have the seashell you handed me when we were walking the beach at Miami. These days I reach for it more than usual, feeling myself drawn to those memories. It will be time to let go soon, but now I still like to live in them.

Oh Alishka, I am sorry, so very sorry to have hurt you this way. I know I will lack an explanation in your eyes always, no matter how I defend myself, and you will be correct in thinking whatever you think of me. After all, I am the one who made mistakes, and I regret what I have done deeply, but not enough to risk your career for us.

As I sit here in the camp, I am praying that you'll understand.

I am coming to Boston next week with the hope that you find a way to forgive me. Maybe I am too late now. I don't know.

Ethan

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Thank you all for reading.